#god feel free to ignore this I know I'm weird😭

[talaok]

hi!! it says in your desc that requests are open but in case thats outdated feel free to ignore!!!!

i know this may be a weird request but can you do something with joel with a reader that has scarring in their pubic area? i have a skin disorder that gives me really bad scars down there and i have Not had great experiences in the past sleeping with people because of it like it is TRAUMATIC atp to show people 😭 mostly hurt/comfort but if it makes sense to throw smut in there feel free i absolutely would not turn it down LMAOOOO

and shout out to people w scarring down there, whether from skin issues, fgm, assault, etc. etc. we up fr 😔✊

Warnings: insecurity, body image issues and smut | oral sex (f receiving)

a/n: its not a weird request at all, ive said this before, i feel incredibly honored whenever you ask me to write such personal stories, so thank you 💖

His hands were beneath your shirt, his calloused fingers caressing your skin with a gentleness that defied his rough exterior, that he only showed a few.

His mouth was on yours, his tongue twisting with your own, letting you taste him as he tasted you.

Your hands were on his face, holding it, stroaking his beard, trailing to his hair, while one of his legs parted your legs, settling between your thighs.

Your back was on the bed, the soft duvet shuffling beneath your movements, beneath your exited shivers and shudders.

It all was perfect, just perfect... until his fingers traveled lower, until they began seeping underneath your shorts.

"wait"

His eyes opened as he leaned away ever so little

"I'm sorry" he said, retracting his hand "I thought you wanted to..."

"I do" you murmured "I just-"

And there it was, the block.

The barrier, the wall you had built brick by brick over the years.

"what?" he asked, his brows knitting together in concern as he moved to your side, propping his elbow on the mattress "What is it?"

"Well I- I don't know if... you want to"

"what?" he huffed a soft laugh, "of course I want you"

"yeah now" you sighed, avoiding his eyes, 

"y/n" he called your name, urging you to look at him with two of his fingers beneath your chin "What are you talking about?"

"I just-" you bit your lip, your eyes trembling, taking in the look of him before he knew the truth, 

"Whatever it is baby, you can tell me"

And the saddest part was that you wanted to believe him, but a part of you knew, you knew how he was gonna react, you knew how it was really gonna go.

As kind and nice and perfect as he was, you got proven times and times again that there was only one way men would respond.

"I- Well I..." 

god, why was it always so hard?

"I have a skin issue" you spat out, forcing yourself to not think about it too much 

"ok..." he murmured, his eyes scanning your face in the hopes of finding out where you were going with this

"so I have...scars" you breathed "down there"

You swore you felt your heart drop as the words left your mouth, just to speed back up at full force the moment he spoke, after a brief silence.

"oh" he hummed, his eyes still fogged with confusion "and so I can't like... touch you or-"

"no no, you can-" you sighed, frustrated with yourself "but I understand if you don't... want to." you explained "I've been told before that it's not really... pretty so I totally get it if yo-"

"first of all" he shook his head, getting out of his confusional state at your words "Whoever told you that is a brainless asshole" he stated, looking you straight in the eyes "And second of all" he smiled now "darlin', you're the most beautiful, hottest woman I've ever met, I almost died when I met you" he exaggerated making you stifle a laugh

"no I'm serious." he promised, taking your hand in his "And if you think that that's gonna change because of a few scars, well then sweetheart I'm sorry but you're wrong"

And although your heart was swelling with hope, with a joy it hadn't known for a while now, your brain couldn't still be sure of what was happening

"you're saying that now" you whispered "but you haven't seen it yet"

"darlin', I promise on whatever you want, that I'm sure" A soft smile was still pulling at his lips, and his voice was warm, honest, like honey "That nothing in this world could ever change what I know, and what I know is that you're the most gorgeous woman on the planet,"

"but-"

"no, no but" he shook his head, interrupting you "You are, and the fact that you don't think so is unbelievable" his eyes were shining, glimmering with that sentiment you still hadn't confessed to each other, but that he'd been on the verge of expressing far too many times "I want you to say it. Say -I'm the most beautiful woman on the planet-"

"but I'm n-"

"ah-ah-ah" he shushed you "What did I say about the buts"

"But I'm just saying think about Jennifer Aniston or Sandra Bullock-"

"yeah exactly, they're nothing compared to you"

You couldn't help but snort at that "Oh please, you're just lying now"

"I'm most definitely not" he protested, "have you seen yourself in the mirror darlin'?"

"I have" you rolled your eyes jokingly, your lips still turned upwards into a smile

"you sure? 'cause it doesn't feel like it"

"stop" you begged

"No, I won't stop" he frowned "you're beautiful, I need you to know that." his forehead fell to yours "Whoever made you feel any differently was just an insecure stupid asshole who didn't deserve you, ok?"

And it was at this moment, that you realized just how how much you loved him.

It was as you took his words in, the truth in them, the care behind them, that you realized that he might just be the one.

"ok" you murmured, after some time, for the first time in a long time, actually believing it.

"yeah?"

"yes"

"that's my girl" he grinned, not being able to stop himself before he crashed his lips with yours, kissing you as if his life depended on it.

And with just a kiss, you were back at where you'd stopped, your belly tingling and your body desperately looking for his.

"Joel" you whispered, in between kisses "I-I want to"

His eyes opened, looking a bit taken aback "You sure? I didn't want to put any pressure on you sweetheart, I'm completely ok with just kissing if that's what you want-"

"no" you shook your head "No I want you"

The smile that spread on his face at that was enormous.

he kissed you again, just to start a slow trail of kisses down your neck, making you squirm and whimper underneath him.

He waited for your nod of approval before removing your shirt, and after having reserved time to your (as he put it) "perfect tits", he then moved on to your shorts, now waiting for a vocal permission before doing anything.

"You can take them off" you murmured, watching closely as he did, slowly slipping your shorts and then panties down your legs.

"Jesus Christ sweetheart" he breathed "you're fucking perfect"

And you could only blush and smile shily, not realizing what was happening, until his head was between your thighs, beginning a line of pecks from your navel down toward... well towards down there.

"no y-you don't have to do that"

He didn't seem to hear you, his mouth only traveling lower and lower until it was right there where you needed him the most.

"does it hurt if I touch them?"

"n-no" you stuttered

He licked his lips, his eyes not on yours, but on your pretty cunt 

"and if I kiss them?"

"I-I don't know, I don't think s-"

And just like that, he had dived in, fist slowly kissing your skin, paying no mind if it included scars or not, just to start tasting your whole pussy, licking and sucking all he could find like a starved animal.

His grip on your waist was relentless, probably leaving bruises behind, but all you could do was lose yourself in the feeling as you moaned and arched your back from the bed.

he continued his work for a while, prolonging the experience as long as possible, before he decided to bring it home, and started focusing on your clit, sucking and licking your bud desperately.

And in a matter of seconds, you had fallen apart, moaning his name loud enough for his neighbors to hear.

"wow" you breathed, your chest rising and falling way too quickly as made his way back up again "That was... wow" you murmured, ghosting his lips

"I just wanted to prove to you how beautiful you are" he smiled, kissing you softly "All of you"

[kissitbttr]

hey, don't know if you're taking requests, fell free to ignore (and forgive if I write something wrong, I'm actually Brazilian)

could u do a Eddie and mean cheerleader, after that fight series, where she's been acting weird and not like herself lately and Eddie notices, so when he confront her, she tels thats because she still thinks about the things he said, like, got a little insecure about that part "I get why you're ex's got feed up"

that part got me real bad 😭😭😭

anyway, thanks even if u can't, love your writing 💕

hii sweetheart!! no need to apologize, you’re good!! thank you for requesting!💓🫶🏻

-

the morning after the makeup sex, eddie thought that everything was going well. she cooked breakfast for him, wore his shirt, put on her favorite record and gave him a kiss before hopping into the shower. he was smiling to himself throughout, overjoyed by the feeling of his girlfriend finally in his arms again.

but it didn’t exactly last. few days after, he sensed that something was up. she rarely smiled at him, dodged kisses at school, not wanting to hold hands, being really short with him and avoid eating lunch at his table. it’s all confusing because she’s extremely affectionate with him. he misses the feeling. feeling of being wanted.

after days of having all these assumptions and negative thoughts, he figures he should confront her about it. that’s what healthy couples do, right? figure things out?

“hey..” he quietly greets, hands shoved in his pockets while walking over to her locker,

y/n stops talking to her friend and glance over at him, raising an eyebrow. “yeah?”

“can we talk?” eddie feels a glare that maya shoots over at him, feeling slightly uncomfortable and to be frank, pretty pressured too. “alone?”

hesitation written all over y/n’s features. but she knows, there’s no way she could talk her way out of this.

she mumbles something to her best friend’s ear before she walks away. closing the locker door shut, y/n leans sideway with her temple and shoulder resting against the cold surface,

“what?”

“did i do something?” he asks straight off the bat, sounding terrified. not only because of what he may have done but the look on her face that screams terror. it’s the look that she gives before telling someone to fuck off or she’ll kill you,

“what makes you think that?” she scoffs, looking at her nails while chewing on her gum. “is that all you wanted to know? you can bounce if it was.”

okay something is definitely up.

“no—sweetheart, is there something going on?” eddie steps closer, face falling when she takes a step back. “see! w-why did you do that?!”

“did what?” she rolls her eyes, turning her body away from him so her back is now pressed against the locker. “ugh, don’t you have a little campaign to do? i hate having to hear those little shits saying I’m holding you back.”

“because my girlfriend is far more important than any d&d plays right now!” his voice turns a bit more aggressive, looking at her in disbelief when she isn’t even trying to hold an eye contact. “they can wait for all i care!”

“can we not do this?! god, it’s irritating! i hate when people give me migraines, it should be the other way around” she lightly massages both temples, smacking her gum and missing the way her boyfriend’s shoulders slumping at her response.

“you’re saying I’m giving you-“

“yeah you are! okay you know what, i don’t have time for this so I’m going leave. we’re measuring new cheerleader outfits for next competition.” she pushes herself off, “see you later, eddie.” with that she walks aways, making his heart stops and jaw dropping down to the floor by her last statement.

eddie?! fucking. eddie?! no, no, no. shit, shit! this is not fucking good!

“fucking—“ he pauses before he loses his shit, because he’s this close. this close on getting absolutely ballistic. “why can’t girls just say what they needed to say!” he mutters to himself with a head shake,

—

“you know you can’t avoid him forever”

maya’s comment is making y/n tired. she has been going non stop about eddie and how they need to fix things up. it feels like listening to a mother’s lecture.

y/n’s eyes wander around the crowd in the lunch hall, stopping her stare when she sees him. looking to her direction with his brows furrowed, anxiously biting his lip and fingers fiddling. he pays no mind to his friends who are obnoxiously talking with each other. fighting over the campaign’s schedule and who they need to get for lucas’s substitute.

like he said. not important right now. he’s figuring out what mistake he had done so he can get on his knees and ask for forgiveness. he’s thinking that maybe—he forgot to buy her pads? what was the name of the brand, again?

“whatever. i am not talking to him and i am not going to give him what he wants” she shrugs, tearing the bread harshly with her hands. “i still hate him.”

“you guys fucked as a way of making up. that doesn’t make any sense” karina intervenes, as a matter of factly. “it’s sort of weird. and now you’re not talking?”

“I can still despise a bitch and be friends with them. just like how i’m with you.” y/n gives her a fake smile, seeing karina rolls her eyes before going back to eating,

“jesus, no wonder people hate you.”

“yet, they still love telling me their secrets. so i must be doing something good.” y/n answers, blowing a kiss as a form of mockery.

“okay y/n!” maya claps her hands. “you need to fix this shit you have going with your man. it’s not healthy and sorry to say sweetie, the way eddie has been looking at you non stop for ten minutes is getting really creepy.”

maya cringes when she looks over to the back, seeing eddie with his head tilting to the side, sad look on his face and chin propping on his open palm. brown eyes only fixated on his girlfriend,

“god you two make me sick” she jokingly stick her fingers in her mouth and pretend to gag, stopping soon y/n sends her a death stare. “it’s a joke! jeez—why didn’t you tell him that thing that has been bothering you? he deserves to know. i’m sure he’ll understand.”

“because he’d overthink that. i don’t want to make him feel more shittier.”

“see? you still care!”

“of course i do!” the girl replies defensively, arms crossed. “he makes me feel things—emotionally. when I’m with him, i finally understand what people are talking about when they talk about love, it’s like he’s meant to be with me—ew okay—what the fuck have i become?”

with a chuckle, maya wiggles her finger at y/n. “you’ve become soft.”

“stop that!” y/n smacks the finger out of her face, scolding as she feels a small tug in her heart.

when she thinks of eddie, butterflies is what she gets. none of that ooey-gooey stuff happened during the relationship with her exes. some, maybe. but not to the point where she feels like she would turn into a huge pink glittery puddle. it’s all for him. for her eddie. just by hearing his name—then his hair, his smile, his scent, his cute button nose—just makes her want to hurl,

but in a good way,

“we’ll see though.”

—

everyday after school, it has become a routine for y/n to skip her steps towards his van at the parking lot. launching at him with a big smile, giving him a sloppy kiss without any care in the world. then the two would take a little trip to the skull rock where they both can make out with each other by the lake, half naked while getting high. and often encourage him to lose all his clothes and swim with her.

then eventually fuck when the sun is about to go down.

so that’s what he’s doing. standing by his van waiting for her to come out and just hope that she’s in a better mood than before. they barely talked during school, he couldn’t even get her to play with his hair—let alone talk—and it’s making him go crazy.

“y/n!” he calls once he spots the pretty girl walking out with her friends, “sweetheart! over here, woohoo!”

eddie waves his arms in exaggeration while jumping, probably looking like a freak but eh, what else is new.

“oh god, what the fuck is his problem now!” she groans, stomping her heel into the concrete. watching how her boyfriend doing weird antics to get her attention.

“babe—you should go to him” maya bumps her shoulder, nodding his head. “that man is suffering, i can tell.”

“I don’t know” she scratches the back of her head, flipping her hair to the back after. “maybe tomorrow?”

“girl, I don’t think he can handle tomorrow” maya frowns, seeing eddie keep jumping and waving. hair bouncing everytime he does. “never seen a guy so whipped before. not even when you dated ‘he who shall not be named’.”

“he’s not that whipped.”

y/n moves her gaze to where he’s at. seeing him standing there with a sad pout thinking that she’s not looking. hand on hips, clearly frustrated before stomping the ground and kick a pebble.

“okay that’s kind of cute.” y/n’s admits, melting at the sight. she knows that she has to face him one way or another, sooner or later. or else he isn’t going to stop. he’s pretty persistent. “I’ll see you guys in a bit”

she doesn’t give her friends a chance to respond and walk over to where his car parked. her lips purses with a cold stare, one that could make people run for their lives.

not him, though. yes, eddie should be afraid. because it’s the look that he’d like to call ‘loopy y/n’. one where he should be shitting bricks but hey, mean girls make him feel things—down his pants.

“y/n! my love, my princess, my sweet sweetheart! thank the lord you have finally graced my life with your existence!” he shouts dramatically, hand over heart as he breathes a loud sigh of relief. “i was going absolutely crazy without you, can we go now?”

“eddie” she warns with a glare, feeling rather annoyed at how loud he is being right now. earning concerned glances from other kids. “what the fuck are you doing?”

“chariot awaits, my princess” he bows down, ignoring the rude tone laced on her voice. “now come on! we got skull motherfucking rock to go to!”

“eddie” she says once again, in a nicer tone. itching to give him a hard kiss and a hug so tight his ribs pop out at his adorable demeanor and words. this man can never give her a break.

“you’re drawing attention—what makes you think i want to go?”

“because we always do?” he replies as matter of factly. “to you know—the usual? you and us naked, me rolling a blunt for you to smoke, my fingers fucking your—“

“okay stop!” she quickly puts him into a halt, arms crossed. “i don’t want to go. I’m going to the mall to pick up a dress i ordered a week ago. with my friends. see you later.”

as she about to walk away, there’s no chance eddie is letting her off that easy. so in instance, eddie reaches out to grab her wrist making her jump. immediately telling him to let go as she struggles to release from his tight grip but eddie is far more stronger.

he unlocks the back door of the van and shoves her inside, making her tumble in the process. if no one knew who they were, what he’s doing would probably came off creepy.

“you are not leaving until you tell me what’s going on!” he sternly directs, heartbroken at how she continues to avoid him like a plague without giving a clear explanation. “please— i know i don’t deserve you, i know that, okay? but you have to tell me.”

unfamiliar ache touches her heart, when she hears that. if anything, eddie deserves everything good in his life. she hates how he puts himself down like that. she doesn’t know how he tends to make that a hobby.

and she loves helping her boyfriend. she cares deeply for him. but when it comes to this, she refuses to talk about it. she’ll talk to him soon. when she gets better. even if she had to stay away from him

“nothing is going on! I’m perfectly fine, now let me out!”

“no” he stops as he covers the door. “i am not losing you again—i didn’t like how that feels! now please—for the last time, tell me what i did wrong, baby—please”

his pleading eyes looking at her, begging for an answer. desperately wanting to know what got her mind clouded that she has been really irritated with him.

she stares away, not replying.because seeing him like that would just make her break.

“we’re already good—right? w-we made up, you cooked me eggs and bacon, we had sex—after the party and one more the next morning—then we showered twice —you washed my hair” he reminds her, voice sounding so sad and defeated,

“but somehow after that you turned cold and short with me—what went wrong? do you regret it?”

she never turns her head so quickly before, “of course i don’t! i never regret a single thing i do with you, eddie—i just—“ she stops and sigh, sinking back into one of the chairs,

“it’s not what you did more like what you said to me”

“what? w-what was it? what did i say?“ he asks growing nervous,

“during the fight—i know i should let that shit go by now but I can’t” she says, looking down at her heels. “when you said, that all of my exes were fed up with me and stuff,—the way you said it was close to hearing you wanting to dump my ass.”

oh shit, eddie thinks.

“like okay i get it alright?! i can be too much, my anger issues are out of control sometimes, i hit people and slam their heads against a dryer, so what? just because i hate people that doesn’t mean they have to hate me too!“ she whines, genuinely feeling not good about herself

“and it kind of stuck with me up until today, eddie—what you said was close to my breaking point—you make me feel a little insecure because of that. I’m struggling to believe whether you still want to be with me or not”

someone please just shoot him in the head twice and bury him raw,

“princess” he begins, thinking carefully of what the next words might be. “i am so sorry—i-i didn’t mean any of that, oh my fucking god i am such a lousy boyfriend—yes! of course i still want to be with you! everything i said to you that was a complete utter bullshit”

slowly, she gazes up at him. still looking and feeling entirely unsure about the things he’s saying. he doesn’t blame her, she opened up about having trust issues about her past to him and he broke it. she believed in him and yet, he broke it.

but he knows for sure he’s much better man. not like brandon or any other of her dumb jocks exes that treated her like shit and not wanting to fix the relationship after. now he wants to. she’s basically the best damn thing that has ever happened to him. he’d be too much of a dumbass to let her go that easy.

and wayne would beat the crap out of him for it.

“i know you’re having a hard time to trust me again after that—but you have to believe this one thing” he grasps her hands and putting them over his chest as if scared for her to go. “i. love. you—so much that it drives me crazy, i can’t fall asleep without hearing your voice first, i get cranky when your peach flavored lipgloss doesn’t stain my cheeks and when I can’t even taste them on my lips, i can barely concentrate knowing you didn’t give me a good luck kiss before every each class—i love you, baby. and i will spend the rest of my life making it up to you—to show how sorry i am and how much you mean to me.”

“and i know that i can’t give you all the luxury you deserve—rings and a nice dress or some shit but once i get a job i will give you everything you want too—you name it and I’ll give you one. plus, i like it when you’re mean and violent. it’s hot. especially when you run your mouth over something. i’ll go bend over backwards for you, sweetheart.”

“this sounds like a marriage proposal” is the first thing she says once he’s done talking,

“well—it could be?“ he questions, “or could be just a vow I’m willing to give because you know—i will never stop loving you as my girl.”

eddie watches as her lips slowly form into a smile, pupils dilating and trying to hide the embarrassment that’s creeping into her skin. it makes him smile too,

“do really think i look hot when I’m angry?”

“insanely” he whistles, shaking his head. “hottest girl I’ve seen. that time when you took brandon down for me? oof, popped myself a boner!”

she giggles, getting on her knees and walk herself closer to him. “so I’m not annoying or acting insecure?”

“no way, sweetheart” he responds immediately, automatically feeling relaxed when she begins to get more comfortable. “i was being a huge dick for that, i’m sorry”

eddie stretches his legs, inviting her to sit herself on his lap. and when she does, he holds her by the waist and feels nothing but happiness overtaking his entire fiber being, knowing that he stole her heart. again.

“i know—you said that about twenty times now” she jokes, wrapping her arms around his shoulders. “i love you too, edsy—I’m sorry for giving you a hard time these past couple of days. and you don’t need to give me a dress or a fancy ring. i prefer your guitar pick over those shit”

his heart soars at that, thumping louder than ever. that’s probably the best thing anyone has ever said to him.

“now—skull motherfucking rock? yes?” she asks playfully , repeating what he said. his head bouncing up and down as an answer. “yay!! i do miss getting naked with you there—and who knows, maybe I’ll let you put it in another hole.” she pecks his lip and get up from his lap. sauntering towards the passenger seat.

eddie watches her ass moves under the skirt, swaying from side to side with eyes widening in excitement. seemingly cannot believe that he just heard her say that

oh he cannot fucking wait until they get there.

—

i feel like this one sucks:// but i hope you enjoy it nonetheless, anon!

no part two for this bjsndbs

(and one where she took brandon out for him will be in another request, teehee)

[astrobei]

Also any other fanfic writing tips? Do you have thoughts on chaptered fics vs longer one-shots? Do you ever struggle with characters feeling ooc?

I'm working my way up to finishing a couple WIPs and am very very nervous about posting them on ao3 😬😬

ooshdjsfh i think it’s funny when ppl ask me for writing advice bc i am a Mess but i will try my hardest to be helpful w this!

for the first bit, personally i’m a fan of oneshots, both writing and reading (there are exceptions for both ofc!!) just because i usually don’t have the attention span to write or read chaptered fics unless they’re finished and under 5 chapters ! but both of my chaptered fics are/were chaptered literally because i wrote too much to make it a oneshot without it feeling kind of clunky and awkward LOL i don’t usually write fics with big fleshed out plots anyway, and it’s more like a general storyline with a focus on individual scenes instead of the overarching plot, so i’ll write it all in one go! and i always write more than i think i will, so stories i plan to be like 10-15k ALWAYS end up at least 20k somehow 😭 personally i just rly appreciate when chaptered fics are consistent w uploading (as much as possible for the author) because it’s really hard for me to commit otherwise, which is why i don’t rly write them myself!!

and Oh My God anon,, i struggle CONSTANTLY w characters feelings ooc im always so concerned w my mike especially, since so much of s3 and 4 was more will pov and we didn’t get as much of an insight into mike’s internal struggles and thoughts like we did with will (the castle byers scene, van scene, jonathan talk, etc) so i’m always worried that the way i interpret him is not the same way that others might! and characters like lucas and dustin and max are easier since their povs in the show have stayed pretty consistent since their first appearances, and even will is easier for me to write (although i prefer mike which is pretty obvious maybe LOL) but mike Stresses Me Out a lot,, whew !!

if ur having trouble w that my advice (or at least what i do, take it w a grain of salt siskfjsjf) is think whether or not u could imagine this character saying that in the show. like, if this dialogue was added to a scene would it feel weird and out of place? do they usually use words like that? are there words used in the show specific to this character? (e.g: robin with “dingus”) i do take a lot of creative liberty w characters like mike and will especially when writing fluff fics, since so much of s4 and the end of s3 has been Sad and we haven’t gotten much humorous interaction from them, but i always try to ask myself if it’s true to their dynamic. like, mike would never ever pull off being suave and cool (except maybe in will’s unreliable narrator pov) because he gets flustered and is kind of an idiot and will is canonically a little bitchy and a little snarky and one of the only people who can put mike in his place so .

and thinking abt their motivations and Why they act/think the way they do: in byler’s case for example, will is selfless to a fault where he keeps putting other people before him, he’s so scared of his own needs making him selfish or a bad person that he often backpedals too far trying to amend that (s4!!) but he gets frustrated pretty easily (he’s the one that’s Started both of the infamous byler fights, the one that blows up first) and isn’t afraid to call mike out on things !! vs mike who tries really really hard, and has so much love for the people in his life but he’s inexperienced in it and doesn’t know how to show it in the way they want (saying ily to el, being a good friend to will) and a lot of his own inner monologue being fueled by the fear that the people in his life don’t need him anymore and yk . stuff like that . idk i just think abt these things a lot when i write!

anyways i am not qualified in the slightest to give any of this advice so FEEL FREE TO IGNORE THIS !! but anon if u ever end up publishing those wips (pls do) PLEASE don’t hesitate to drop me a link i’d love to check them out! posting fics can be rly scary but my advice would be to have as much fun with it as u can! play around w tropes and dialogue and writing styles and povs as much as u want. it can be easy to get caught up in writing what u think ppl want to read or thinking u Have to write smth bc someone asked for it but literally just write whatever u want (that’s like . not insane and awful for obvious reasons) and enjoy urself!!

hope this helped !! <3

[bredforloyalty]

hi, im the anon from like a couple days ago. srry that im just clogging up ur inbox widhd but i dont rlly have anywhere else 2 talk abt it. ive just been privately indulging in my like.. Weird Thoughts which is nice but god it would be so neat to just be able to talk abt them w someone else ?? and like. im sure theres someone online i can ramble abt it to but i dont know where to look and considering these r like. pretty Freakish thoughts and concepts i also run into the chance of maybe coming across like actually malicious ppl so thats discouraging me from looking too. i dont know. its just a struggle sometimes. u can absolutely feel free to ignore bc im just rattling along but yea 😭

do you think its okay if i write dark/mature stories abt teenagers set in high school? like in the style of ginger snaps. im a teenager myself and ive been rotating this plotline in my head that involves themes like murder/sex/drug use/etc. and all my main characters are my age. im just worried that once i become an adult and actually write it maybe people might think im being weird towards teenagers ?? i dont know. just been thinking abt this a lot

oh my god anon i totally forgot to answer those other asks from a few days back.... SO SORRY ABOUT THAT i relate i feel you but most importantly, you can message me!!! if you'll make do with lil old me lol but if you're talking more generally about just messaging anyone, i get that too... it's uhm it's weird internal struggles most of the time, for some of us, when you're like uh, like this 😔

and about writing, let me just preface this by saying that i'm not a writer and i'm not very wise and i'm not an authority on this, i know everyone knew but i wanted to emphasize lol. so yeah i appreciate that you asked me and i think whatever you think is appropriate for you to write is appropriate! what you feel is right is right, believe in your ability to tell what's correct morally and what's not and to tell what fits your story best and have the courage to write what you really want to write :)

there's stuff like abuse and power dynamics that i'd love if people treated with care, like when deciding how to portay it, but even with those it's like, i don't believe viewing a fucked up dynamic through rose-colored glasses is harmful in itself... or that it can't be very touching art if it's not spelled out clearly that this is an unhealthy unbalanced relationship, and for survivors especially or people who are intimately familiar with fucked up, i think.. what am i saying. i KNOW the ""romanticization"" angle can affect survivors deeply, in a catharsis way and not a re-traumatized way i mean hxsgcy so that has real merit in fiction in my opinion

you know how they say great art disturbs the comfortable and comforts the disturbed or smth like that? i know it's hard and sticking by your own moral code (that might go against social norms) has to be learned and practiced, and the backlash that comes with challenging taboos is never exactly a walk on the beach but i encourage you to go for it and try to forget about what certain people will think! there will be stupid malicious interpretations always but you're not writing for those people, you're writing for the people that Do get it!! who will get it, when they read it, for those that see you and understand

anyway yes you're not clogging up my inbox and my dms are open, feel free to hop in there if you want to talk to someone and be certain you're not going to be judged💓💓💓

[myyoungroyalsblog]

Okay those asks made me really emotional and I just want you to know (yes YOU) that I fucking appreciate you💜🫂

I wanted to send this message to sooooooo many people so in the end I'm just gonna make one post and tag yall (even if we've never interacted, I still see your icon in my notes and I just wanted to say thank you for liking my posts/reblogs and just for being part of this wonderful fandom🥰)

This is a tumblr hug🫂, or a tumblr high five👏, or a tumblr sitting in the same room together on a cozy sofa🧑‍🤝‍🧑, pass it on to your favorite followers or mutuals 💜💜💜🤗✨🌺👑

@existentialcrisis-servedhot @thosearehisfish @purplehoodiesimon @ladyauroraborealis @lovlierbitsoflife @prince-simon @princesimonsblog @macang-world @cinnamoncofees @eyeofthedrgn @tooindecisivetopickaurl @violapinkbaby @altruistic-meme @piebingo @missmeganlee @zee-has-commitment-issues @ishotforthestars @youngroyalsrewatch

@spaghett-shitposts @simons-purplehoodie @notalover-justasinner @ninibae @hillerska-official @heartbreakprincewille @ungaroyals @cl0udy-mi1k @books-books-smolderinglooks @bored-weather @randomsmilingpotatoes @adocchichiusiii @angelbabysimon @fangirlfreak08 @just-some-bookworm @andreils-bitch @noodlearg @auselysium @littlebabywille @multi-trashqueen @i-never-really-gave-up-on-you @emberc @meissa-prince @spacewille @komma-pa-torsdag @daylightsimon @allthefakepeople @simme-wille @wilhelmsscarf @anaritarodrigues @fanfanfanfanfanfanphon @zeichenlily @this-is-all-i-love @notalotgoingonatthisinstant @plantbasedfish @graceofthefandoms @segabananer @voldiebeth

Aaaaaand I didn't know there was a 50 tagging limit😭 I'm sorry (also had to break this list into two? Tumblr I still don't understand u lol)

This fandom makes me smile every single day and I am forever grateful, hope you all have an amazing day/night you wonderful human beings💜🫂

[halsteadlover]

I Know You Want Me

*Gif not mine credits to the owner*

• Pairing: Jay Halstead x Reader.

• Requested by my bestie @hereforhalstead (I hate you): Hi bestie it’s me again xx. Can you write one where reader and Jay are having an argument because they have this super high tension but neither of them are doing anything about it and she says something like ‘you either fuck me or I’ll find someone who will’. PLEASE I KNOW YOULL DO IT SO WELL. Love you and don’t hate me but I saw this on tiktok and knew I had to ask😭😭🥰

• Warnings: slight mention of alcohol and drinking, smut (+18), cursing, unprotected sex.

• Word count: 6859.

• A/N: Please read this only if you're +18. Honestly this is so bad, I'm really embarrassed to post it and forgive me for how long this turned out 😭 pls let me know what do you think, comment, like and reblog if you want ❤️ love you all and as always thank you for everything. Hope you enjoy this!

“C'mon guys let's dance!” Kim exclaimed aloud after finishing her drink. You and your team were in a club on one of the rare free nights you had. The music was loud, the bass so powerful you could almost feel it vibrating through your body. You loved going to dance in clubs, it made you feel so alive, seeing people having fun, feeling the drops of sweat running down your back as you romped on the dance floor, the sense of lightness and euphoria you felt as you let your body be guided by the music, it was something that brought you so much joy.

“I'm in!” you exclaimed in response before grabbing your glass and drinking it down in one gulp, trying to repress the retching it gave you. Kevin, who was sitting next to you, put a hand on your shoulder to check how you were while everyone else laughed at your facial expressions.

Well all of them except one.

Jay Halstead sat in his place across from yours, a bored look on his face as he looked around him, as if he didn't even want to be there that night. He just sipped his drink from time to time, his other arm resting on the armrest while he didn't even try to have fun.

God, Jay was the most unpleasent man you ever met, he didn't know what having fun meant. You didn't know if this was due to your presence or not since you two didn't have the best of relationships, but you decided to ignore it. You wouldn't let him ruin your evening.

“You okay now?!” Kevin asked aloud and you nodded when that brief feeling of nausea vanished.

Jay looked briefly at you and for a lapse of a second your eyes met and just the way they looked at you made your legs feel like jelly, making you almost faint on the spot.

It was the first sort of contact you had since you arrived in the club, both of you had done nothing but ignore each other all night. You couldn't describe your relationship, it was so weird. You and Jay were partners, neither of you liked it but for some strange reason this partnership worked, for some strange reason when you were together you were a strong, dynamic duo. But that was only reflected in work, outside the district people could describe you as a dog and cat by the way you fought and bickered all the time. Sometimes it was so funny seeing him so worked up and angry, you purposely tried to provoke him. He was no exception, not even he missed the opportunities to throw digs and say jokes he knew would get on your nerves.

As mentioned, your relationship was very weird.

It was weird because although you two hated each other - it would’ve been so much easier if you had ignored each other and one had pretended the other didn’t exist - you couldn’t help all those fights and arguments. It was weird between the two of you because even though you hated each other you couldn't help but be incredibly attracted to him and you hated yourself for it. Why were you so attracted to a person you couldn't stand? Why couldn't you think of anything other than having his hands and his mouth on you whenever you were in front of him or when his eyes were on you?

On the other hand, you were sure he felt the same too. You felt it by the penetrating way in which his eyes undressed you every time he looked at you, you felt it by the way his pupils dilated when you found yourselves a few centimeters away from each other's face during one of your many arguments, you could feel it from the way his breath itched when he realized he only needed to tilt his face a little to kiss you and, god, how many times you wished he did it.

You didn't like this all, you didn't like how your body reacted whenever he was around you, how every cell in your organism was on fire with even his glance.

God, I hate him.

You nodded. “Let's go!” Kim took your hand and pulled you to the dance floor, almost making you fall from you chair when you got up.

It didn't take you long to let yourself go, also thanks to the alcohol you had in your circulation. Your body moved to the rhythm of the song, your hips almost had a life of their own as they let themselves be guided by the music. You and Kim danced together, both of you singing out loud the song they were playing, so much your throat started to burn and you knew the next day you wouldn’t be able to speak for the sore throat that would come.

But a pair of eyes kept looking at you.

You knew very well who those eyes belonged to, just as you knew they hadn't stopped staring at you even for a second.

Jay had tried to look away from you, even looking for someone else who could get his attention but he couldn't. He couldn't take his eyes off you, your body, the way your hips moved to the beat of the music and he couldn't stop thinking about how well you’d move while you bounced on his dick.

Fuck, there was something about you completely bewitched him, you kept him in a hook and he didn't even know how to get rid of this feeling because he knew it was wrong, you were his partner but, above all, he hated you. He really couldn't stand you, you were so annoying, unpleasent, the most stubborn person he had ever met but, shit, the way you made his blood boil in his veins was something he had never experienced with anyone else. And when your eyes met his throat immediately went dry and a feeling of warmth went through his body.

There was something about you that attracted him so fucking so much and he couldn't explain why in that moment he just wanted to drag you off that dance floor and own every single inch of you.

Your eyes had fucked him over and your body tormented him every minute and second of the day and as he kept looking at you and the little grin on your face he couldn't help but project images of you on his bed while he was fucking you mercilessly as you moaned and screamed his name, you begging him to never stop.

No one has ever made you feel this way, so frustrated and wet with just a look. Jay kept making eye contact with you and god how fucking sexy he was as he looked at you like he was about to come over and fuck you on the dance floor. His legs were slightly spread apart as he was sit, one arm then on the armrest as he raised his glass to his lips and took a sip of his drink, never stopping to look at you. Fuck, how much you wanted to be that glass and how bad you wanted to be on your knees between his legs while you sucked his dick as if your life depended on it.

The very thought made you wet like never before.

Everything about him was so hot and sexy, every inch of his body screamed confidence. He looked so powerful sitting there, dominant, as if he owned the entire world.

Jay spreads his legs apart a little more and lifted his hips slightly forward to get more comfortable in his seat, never breaking eye contact, and this simple movement almost knocked your breath out of your lungs.

Fucking hell.

Your attention shifted away from Jay when you felt someone groping your ass and snapping your head, you saw a man looking at you with an animalistic look and a grin on his face.

“Get your hands off me!” you exclaimed before abruptly dodging from his grasp. Kim, who just then started dancing with a guy, didn't notice anything.

“C'mon baby girl come with me” he mumbled and you slapped him in the face when he tried to grab you again, this time by your hips.

In no time at all, someone pushed the stranger away almost making him fall and it didn't take you a second to realize it was Jay. He spoke and his tone of voice was low, directed only for this man, even if you could perfectly distinguish his words.

“Keep fucking touching her, I dare you.”

Your heart almost stopped and you couldn't help but look at Jay. He was so attractive with that cold expression on his face, his clenched jaw and the sharp gaze as he glared at that man.

“I'm sorry man I didn't realize she's with you” the drunkily man mumbled and Jay pushed him away again.

“If I see you next to her again I won't hesitate to cut your arm off am I understood?! Now get the fuck out of here.”

The stranger walked away quickly, terrified, and Jay's eyes were on you again.

“You okay?” he asked you, moving closer to your ear to be heard and the way your body reacted to his proximity didn’t please you at all.

Oh Lord.

“Yes but I can take care of myself pretty well there was no need for you to intervene!”

“You know a simple 'thank you' would've been fine” he said with a grin plastered on his lips and you rolled your eyes. He was as damn attractive as unbearable.

He was about to walk away when you did the last thing you rationally would've never done. Without even thinking about it, you grabbed him by his arm, making him stop in his footsteps.

“Dance with me?”

What the fuck is wrong with me?

You couldn't believe what you had just said, but by then it was too late to withdraw the question. A look of utter bewilderment, almost shock, appeared on Jay's face, and that must have been one of the few times you had ever seen him express emotions.

“What?!”

“You heard me, don't make me repeat it again.”

“I don't think it's a...”

You interrupted him, not even letting him finish the sentence. “It's just a dance Halstead c'mon! We can pretend we don't hate each other for a while.”

He continued to look at you uncertainly.

“C'mon! Have some fun once in a while!”

You reached out your hand and he stared at it for a few seconds before returning his eyes to you again. You tilted your head slightly as you waited for a response from him and before Jay could think about it, he grabbed your hand. He already knew he'd regret it.

“I don't know how to dance” he said with a slight hint of embarrassment in his voice.

“Me neither, just let the music guide you” you answered close to his ear and he found himself trying to ignore the chills this simple action caused him.

You know damn well how to dance, that's why you gave me a fucking boner by just watching you, he wanted to tell you but thought it wasn't a good idea to say it out loud.

You moved even closer to him, tying your arms around his neck. His breath hitched at that contact and unwittingly his eyes found themselves scanning every inch of your face. His arm spontaneously slid around your waist making your bodies even closer until they touched. At that point any rational thought went out of your mind and you ignored the small part of your brain that told you it was a bad idea as you melted under his touch di lui.

God, it was so good to feel his arms around your body as they held you so firmly and gently at the same time. You looked up at him and the way those two beautiful green eyes were peering at you almost took your breath away. All of a sudden you forgot everything you wanted to say and you couldn't believe the effect Jay had on you, how much you hated it.

Y/N focus damn it.

You began to move slowly, causing both of you to sway even though the type of music was in total contrast to your movements. You didn't care. You didn't care that all the people on that dance floor were going wild but you two were slow dancing, the only thing you could focus on was Jay's hands on you.

“Are you nervous Halstead?” you decided to tease him, noticing the way he was stiff as a pole.

You gasped when Jay suddenly turned you around, pressing your back against his firm, toned chest. His arms were around your waist again and you had to use all your strength not to pass out, especially when you felt his growing hard on pressed on your lower back.

Oh good lord please help me.

“I'm not” he whispered close to your ear and although the loud and deafening music you heard him perfectly. His voice sent shivers down your spine and your breathing quickened. You mentally thanked god Jay couldn't see your face or he'd make fun of you endlessly for the way you were blushing at that moment.

“Are you nervous Y/LN?” he murmured, noticing the way your body reacted and although you couldn't look at him you could perfectly imagine the grin he had on his face.

“You wish you had that kind of power over me Halstead, if anything you annoy me” you replied, raising your head slightly to look at him. He chuckled, looking down at you and wetting his lips with his tongue.

Is he trying to seduce me?

Fuck you were the one who wanted to tease him, how did the situation turn around so quickly?

“You don't look very bothered right now,” he replied and god how right he was. You were anything but annoyed at the time. Excited, frustrated, wet but not bothered.

“What makes you think this?” you asked him, 'accidentally' pushing your hips against Jay's, to the beat of the music. His erection pressed against you almost made you moan, God it felt so damn good your core started aching with need. Your eyes kept alternating between his eyes and his slightly parted lips. His pupils were dilated, the green of his irises almost gone.

You blamed it on alcohol, there's no way on earth you would have done it sober.

Yeah keep telling yourself that.

He tried to suppress a groan and the urge to lift your dress and take you there in front of everyone, he wanted to behave but you were making it so difficult.

“Be careful what you do Y/N” he warned you in an intimidating tone but that had done nothing but turn you on even more.

You bit your lip and Jay took a deep breath trying to supress the urge to bite it for you.

“Let's just dance.”

Your started move your hips more, with more accentuated movements against Jay's. He was losing every shred of sanity, his dick twitching as he felt your ass grinding against him.

He couldn't suppress the groan that came out of his mouth, muttering a “Fuck” under his breath as he pressed his fingers so hard against your hips you were sure they'd leave a mark. He went along with your movements, grinding against you.

“Y/N fuck... What are you doing to me” he tried not to moan like a teenager in heat. He felt he was about to lose control. “Stop whatever the fuck you're doing.”

“You don't seem to mind,” you retorted referring to his hard dick pressed against you.

“You have no idea what you're getting yourself into”. His breathing was heavy, you felt his chest rise and fall quickly against your back and you knew how much he was holding on at that moment. “Holy shit...” he murmured as you continued to grind against him.

His hands wandered on your hips, your waist, he was dying to touch you, he wanted to tear off your clothes, feel every inch of your skin. His fingers lightly touched your breasts and you almost moaned at that contact. You couldn't explain it but you felt the overwhelming desire for him to touch you, to feel his hands on you. You knew this was wrong but you didn't care, your mind was too clouded to think rationally.

You almost stopped breathing when you felt his hand move your hair and his lips press on your neck, starting to kiss and suck your skin. You tilted your head to the side to give him better access and let his mouth torture you, your eyes half closed, your lips slightly parted. You lifted your arm behind you and your hand fisted his hair, feeling how soft it was. You felt him groan against your neck and you seriously thought you were about to collaps sooner or later.

The moment his lips broke away from you, you felt a feeling of emptiness pass through you. God you wanted more, you wanted him, you wanted him in every way imaginable and you didn't care about the consequences, you didn't care you hated each other, you wanted Jay and just him.

You turned to him and the expression of pure lust with which he looked at you was one of the most beautiful and sexy things you have ever seen in your life. Your faces were dangerously close, only a few inches apart and it would've been enough for you to raise your head a little to kiss him. Your hands were on his chest, your fingers caressing his through the fabric of his shirt as his kept gripping your hips.

“We have to stop this before things get worse,” he said but he didn't mean a single word. He just wanted you to stop him because he wouldn't be able to do that in any way.

Your nose brushed against his and you shook his head lightly as your arms encircled his neck. “I don't want to stop Jay.”

“Y/N I'm trying with all my might not to give in and do something we might regret later but, fuck, you're making it so hard me.”

“Yeah I can feel it” you smirked and Jay was on the verge of going crazy, completely losing his mind.

“Don't bite your lip, goddamit don't do this...” he mumbled as his thumb caressing your lower lip, his eyes tracing every single inch of it.

“I know you want me Jay, as much as I want you,” you said, your lips brushing his but without kissing him “I want you to fuck me and if you don't do it I'll find someone who will, maybe that guy...-”

“Fuck it,” he interrupted you and before you could even understand what was happening his mouth was on yours as he devoured you in a kiss so deep and passionate you felt the air sucked out of your lungs. One of his hands clenched your hair into a fist, the other one gripping you tightly as his tongue explored every inch of your mouth.

At that moment you both forgot where you were, that everyone could watch as you both seemed to be on the verge of fucking on that dance floor. But damn it you didn't care, you just wanted that moment to never end. That dizzy feeling that kiss made you feel was something you never felt in your life, no one had ever made you lose your mind as much as Jay Halstead.

He kissed you as if his life depended on it, as if he could die at any moment due to the passion that overwhelmed him like a raging river.

His hands went down from your hips to your ass and squeezed it hard, letting a little moan escape into his mouth. “Oh fuck Jay...” The very moment you moaned his name, Jay knew it wouldn't be the last time because the way his name escaped your lips was something he wanted to hear you scream again and again.

“Fuck,” he groaned against your mouth “That's it we're going home.”

He broke away from the kiss and grabbed your hand, dragging you off the dance floor towards the club exit. He didn't even bother letting the others know you were leaving, he was eager, eager to drag you home and fuck you.

A gasp of surprise escaped your lips when, as soon as you got to his truck, he slammed you into the door, pressing his body against yours as he took your breath away again with another deep and searing kiss.

Jay could feel that kiss through his whole body, like a fire had broken out inside him, and he knew he had already become addicted to your lips and it'd be difficult to break away from you. He grabbed your thigh and lifted your leg, circling his hip with it, a moan escaped both your lips as he rubbed his hard erection against you. You were both a mess of sighs, groans, hands roaming every inch of your bodies and gasps.

“Ah... Jay please...”

“Please what? What do you want?” he whispered as his lips traced kisses along your jaw to your earlobe, nibbling it.

“You. I want you” you sighed, your hands in his hair as you continued to press your body against him to seek some relief. Damn it, you've never been so turned on and eager as you were then.

His hand ran up your body, from your hip up to your jaw, looking at you with so much intensity you almost fainted.

“Do you have any idea how bad I want to bend you over my truck and fuck you?”

“Do it” you blurted out and it was embarrassing how quickly you responded. He chuckled and pulled his face close to yours, taking your lower lip between his teeth and biting it, making you whimper.

God this man will be the death of me.

“You're so eager princess aren't you?” he whispered against your ear “I'm gonna fuck you so hard you'll do nothing but think of me, feel me, for the next few days and weeks. Do you hear me?” he bit and sucked the skin of your neck making you squirm under his touch. You nodded, unable to formulate a single coherent thought. “But not here, I hate you but you deserve more than a dirty fuck in a parking lot.”

Jay closed the door of his apartment with a kick as his mouth continued to devour you, burning you alive. Your hands ran along your bodies with messy and chaotic movements as you undress each other, piece by piece. Your clothes were scattered in a trail leading to Jay's bedroom.

“Jump” he whispered against your lips and you did as he told you, jumping into his arms as his fingers pressed hard on your bare thighs. His touch burned and never before you felt so alive.

He kissed you wildly, never breaking away from you. You bit his lip and the sound that came out of his mouth almost made you cum.

“Fuck Y/N you drive me crazy.”

He dropped you on his bed, your body bounced as he bent over you. You both wore nothing but your underwear and Jay took a couple of seconds to observe you, look at you, study you and imprint in his memory every single detail of you, every single inch of your body. “God you are so fucking beautiful.”

You kissed him again, encircling his hips with your legs in an attempt to feel him as close to you as possible. He started grinding his still covered dick against you, making you moan relentlessly in his mouth.

His lips traced wet kisses down your jaw and chest, one elbow supporting him while the other cupped one of your breasts. He groped it relentlessly, releasing it from your bra and another moan escaped you as he wrapped your mouth around your nipple, grabbing it between his teeth, biting and sucking it.

You arched your back and Jay took the opportunity to slide his hands behind your back and undo your bra which ended up in an indefinite point of the pocket.

“Oh god Jay please.”

“Fuck yes keep saying my name like that” he said as he continued to suck first one breast and then the other, giving both of them the same attention. You felt like you were about to explode from too much desire and Jay seemed to enjoy the way you continued to squirm beneath him. “You smell so fucking good.”

He ran a hand down your body cupping you pussy on top of your panties. You nearly felt your soul leave your body, a loud moan leaving your lips when he started drawing circles on your clit.

“I can feel how wet you are, is this all for me? Do I make you this horny baby?” he muttered against your lips as he kissed you but you could hardly even return that kiss because of your moans.

“Fuck yes, all for you baby I want you so bad.”

Jay almost came into his boxers, he had never seen someone looking so fucking beautiful and just the way pleasure plastered all over your face, made him lose his mind.

He slipped his hand under your panties and a moan died in your throat.

Thank God I shaved.

“Good God you're so wet,” he groaned “You're gonna be the death of me Y/N, do you have any idea how hot you look right now huh?”

He easily slipped two fingers inside you and you threw your head back, your legs spontaneously spread even more “Oh fuck yes! Oh god Jay...” you moaned, your fist closed around the blanket while you already felt over the edge. His fingers curled inside you, hitting your G-spot and almost making you come on the spot.

He suddenly stopped fingering you, taking his hand out of your panties and making you let out a cry of disappointment. Your heart definitely stopped beating when you saw him wrap his lips around his fingers. He moaned as he sucked them with meticulous attention while you were no longer able to breath. He didn't take his eyes off yours even for a second and you had your mouth wide open as you watched the hottest and sexiest scene you've ever seen.

“Hmm so good. Fuck I need to taste you right now.”

“Jay what the fuck!” you exclaimed in horror when he literally ripped your panties off you. He silenced you by pressing his mouth against yours and the thought of your ripped panties was instantly forgotten. With a single movement he grabbed you by your hips and changed positions, making you sit on his lap, never breaking the kiss. You immediately started grinding your hips against his erection, making a mess with your wetness and you would’ve lied if you said you were dying to feel it inside you.

Jay lyed his back on the mattress, your bare chest pressed against his as you continued to esplore each other's mouths.

“I want you to ride my face" he said, biting your lower lip and this phrase alone set your whole body on fire.

“Fuck Jay you're killing me” you moaned against his lips, feeling your insides clench in anticipation. Other times you would've even objected, but back then you were so horny if he had asked you to hang from the chandelier upside down you would've done it without any hesitation. A loud moan came out of your mouth when, after you got into the position, his tongue drew a line along your pussy.

“Oh god princess, you taste so fucking good. I wanted to do this for so long” he groaned and the vibration of his voice against you almost sent you to another dimension. His tongue licked you as his lips sucked on your clit vigorously, as if you were the tastiest meal and he hadn't eaten in months.

“Fuck yes, grind your hips like that baby” he said. His eyes never left you and he felt his dick almost explode in his boxers. You were such a mess on top of him as you screamed and moaned his name and, god, that sight alone made all the sexual tension he went through all worth it.

“Oh fuck yes, yes, yes! God right there baby, don't stop” you moaned out loud as you kept grinding your hips on his face. His arm was around your thigh as he pushed you more against his face. God, he might as well have suffocated and he still would’ve been the happiest man on the planet. With his other hand Jay slid his boxers down and almost breathed a sigh of relief as his erection was released. His fingers gripped the base of his dick and he began to pump with his hand, his tip wet with precum. It was almost embarrassing how much turned on he was, he seriously thought he was going to explode at any moment.

“That’s it fuck my face princess, ride it.”

With your hands you leaned against the head of the bed to give you support, your eyes met his when you lowered your gaze.

“Ah goddamn yes... Fuck Jay you're touching yourself, it's so hot,” you moaned when you noticed his hand around his dick as he pleasured himself “You couldn't help yourself don't you? Fuck!” you finished the sentence with a scream when he penetrated you with his tongue and fucked you with it “Shit, shit, shit!” you slammed the wall with one hand when his lips sucked your clit again.

“Touch your tits for me princess” he muttered against you and it felt like he was being pushed over the precipice when one of your hands grabbed your right boob while you fisted his hair with the other. “Fuck the things you're doing to me right now Y/N, you fucking destroy me.”

“You're so fucking good... Oh fuck, please don't stop you're gonna make me come.” You threw your head back, your eyes closed as you kept grinding on his face while his mouth and tongue fucked you, your hand still massaging your breast wishing it was his.

Jay could feel it, the way your thighs were shaking and gripping his head, the way your movements became more and more chaotic and messy, the way your hand kept pulling his hair. He let go of his dick and pressed his fingers against your thigh as he watched you completely lose control. It was one of the most hottest and heavenly visions he ever witnessed and as a devastating orgasm swept through you, he couldn't help but think how the fuck was even possible he went all this time without this, how could he not give in and fuck you before.

“Holy shit”. Your hair fell in front of your eyes while you had your head down, your eyes closed as you tried to catch your breath and regain contact with the reality you had just lost.

Your legs felt like jelly and you were pretty sure you wouldn't be able to move for the next few minutes. But Jay was not of the same opinion as in no time he pulled himself up and grabbed your hair in a fist, forcing you to turn your head to the side and kiss you again passionately, your back pressed against his bare chest. You could feel your taste in his mouth, his lips and chin still wet from your arousal.

“Jay please” you groaned when his hand grabbed your left breast, the right one around your throat instead.

“Please what?”

“I need you inside me.” You sounded so pathetic and needy but you didn't give a damn, you just wanted to feel his dick inside you, stretching you out.

He grabbed his dick and brought it closer to your entrance, teasing you by sliding it along your pussy but without penetrating you.

“Jay I swear to god i'm gonna fucking kill you.”

“You want me buried deep inside you don't you? Look at you, so eager to be fucked like a little slut.”

For some strange reason these words turned you on even more than you ever wanted. “Yes fuck, yes... Jay please fuck me. Don't you wanna use me too?” you said and your words made his dick twitch.

“I'm gonna to fucking ruin you for everyone else,” without warning he penetrated you from behind, making you moan loudly.

“Holy shit...”

“Jesus christ” he groaned in your ear coming out and thrusting back into you, hard. His thrusts, from slow and controlled, did not take long to become stronger, more ferocious. You felt him in every corner of your body as he fucked you with so much force you felt a piece of your soul come out with each thrust. He fucked you as if you were nothing more than a toy at his mercy and god how much you loved it. You loved being his toy, you loved being used.

“Oh fuck! Yes, yes, yes just like that,” you whimpered and from your reaction Jay knew he had hit your G-spot. He continued at the same pace, with deep, strong thrusts.

“Such a good girl, taking me so fuck good. You like that don't you? Fucking you like a slut” he moaned in your ear, making you lose your mind even more. His fingers that were around your throat brushed your lips and without thinking twice you opened your mouth, sucking them. “Fuck Y/N you're making me losing my goddamn mind.” He let go of your throath and grabbed your hair in a fist, forcing you to tilt your head back.

“Jay oh my god” you cried out, your mind totally clouded with the pleasure he was giving you.

“Holy shit... Yeah that's it, scream my name princess, let everyone know who's making you feel like this”. His lips left hickeys and marks on your neck and he would’ve lied if he said seeing you covered with the marks he had left didn't drive him crazy.

“Fuck you're gonna make me come if you keep squeezing me like that princess” he groaned feeling your walls clenching around him.

“It's just... Ah shit... Your dick feels so good oh my god” you blathered not even knowing if what you said made sense or not.

A feeling of emptiness invaded you as Jay pulled out but before you could even ask what was wrong, Jay grabbed your hips and made you lie down on your back, causing a gasp to escape from your lips. He grabbed your ankles and raised your legs all the way up, spreading them wide at the same time. Fuck, you didn't even know you were able to get your legs up that high.

Jay positioned himself between your legs, his green eyes fixed on yours as he penetrated you again with a strong, deep thrust.

Damn it, in that position you could feel him even deeper. The feeling of pleasure-pain was driving you crazy and you didn't joke at all when you thought you saw angels and heaven for a moment.

I’m definitely not seeing heaven after this.

“Jesus fucking christ” he moaned. He threw his head back as his hips rocked into you, roughly, without any kind of mercy. He was so beautiful, his eyes half closed, his heavy breathing, droplets of sweat running down his forehead and chest, his lips parted as he cursed a long string of obscenities. He looked like a god.

“Oh god Jay, yes! You make me feel so fucking good... Fuck!”

He looked at you again and god, he felt his stomach twist in a vise as he watched the expression of pure lust and ecstasy on your face. How was it possible for someone to look so fucking hot even while falling apart?

“Goddamn look at you... Holy shit... Look at that face, a fucking goddess.”

You felt so full, the pleasure flowing into every vein of your body. You were overwhelmed, your eyes tearing up because of the intensity with which Jay was fucking you. He kept hitting that magical spot inside you with such speed and depth you nearly flew out of your skin.

“Shit I'm gonna come... Fuck...” you moaned feeling that familiar lower belly pressure intensify even more.

“Fuck I can feel it princess, you're squeezing me so hard.”

His fingers still pressed hard around your ankles, his movements becoming more messy, more frantic and you knew he was close too.

“You're gonna come with me too? Fill my pussy with your cum? Ah fuck!”

That was what pushed Jay over the edge and made him come so hard like he never did in his fucking life. You both exploded in an orgasm that caused the earth beneath you to drop for a moment and as Jay let go of your legs and layed next to you, you both came to the conclusion you'd never again experience with anyone what you experienced that night.

You no longer felt sensitivity in your legs and you didn’t dare to imagine how sore you’d be the next day. You spent the next few minutes in silence, both of you staring at the ceiling as you tried to catch your breath. God you never felt that way, it was like you could float on the clouds, touch the sky with your fingers.

But the reality of what had just happened hit you in full once you regained control of your mental faculties.

You just had sex with Jay Halstead, the person you hated most in the world, your colleague and partner.

The most fantastic and mind blowing sex I've ever had in my life, your conscience added.

“We just...” you started talking but stopped when you realized you didn't know how to continue.

“Yeah.”

You turned your head towards him, looking at his profile. Feeling watched, he turned his head towards you too, entwining his eyes into yours. He opened his eyes wide in pure shock all of a sudden, as if he had just realized something.

“Shit I came inside of you” he said and almost choked on his own saliva as he said those words.

“I'm on birth control don't worry, I'm not that stupid.”

He breathed a sigh of relief and took his eyes away from yours, bringing them back to the ceiling. He stared for a few seconds before sighing and lifting himself up, sitting on the edge of the bed, his back to you.

God this whole situation was so embarrassing.

“What are we gonna do?” you dared to ask, lifting yourself up on your elbows. He turned his head towards you, observing you carefully.

“I don't know,” he respondend slightly shaking his head “I mean, I'm gonna be honest Y/N, what I felt tonight... Fuck... This was the best sex I've ever had, but at the same time I hate I felt this good because it's you, the last person I ever wanted to sleep with. Or at least that's what I said to convince myself,” he paused for a moment, running a hand through his hair “I've never lost control as I lose it with you and hate it, I hate I feel like this and I hate you for making me feel like this.”

Your stomach twisted in a vise. You tilted your head slightly to the side as you watched him, not caring you were both still naked. “So this won't happen again?” you asked.

Jay didn’t even think the answer, already knowing what he’d respond. He positioned himself on you, grabbing your jaw with his hand while he supported himself with his other arm, looking at you with his green and piercing eyes. “I know this is a huge mistake but we both know damn well this won't be the last time. Now that I know how you feel I’m very aware I won't be able to resist you for not even a second,” he kissed you, taking your breath away once again and you tried not to smile.

I'm so fucked.

“There are so many things I want to do to you a lifetime won't be enough.”

Yeah, he definitely ruined you for everyone else.

Tag list: @hereforhalstead, @sofferderynnp, @soph0864, @hehurst23, @upsteadlovingheart, @stephanie708, @secondaryjob, @morganupstead, @nevaehstreater18, @mrspeacem1nusone, @sophiatellerrhodes, @dedlund82, @kellykidd, @rippl3s, @alexxavicry, @waywardhunter95, @nachodaze

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Masterlist

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[daegalfangirl]

└> SUMMARY; based off of the song "bye my first" by nct dream, love is a little hard.

└> GENRE; angst angst angst kind of a teensy bit of fluff??? unrequited love (on both ends) bffs to strangers to friends

└> WORD COUNT; 2.4k+

└> PAIRING; donghyuck/jeno x fem!reader

└> WARNINGS; they grow up like super fast, i think theres cussing i cant remember, donghyuck has like a weird obsessive moment (but it goes away)

└> TAGLIST; @woofie-nctzen-fanarts-320 @skrtbeepbeep @tarolovebot @sunshinedhyuck @haechanswhore (BYEE OMG IM SO SORRY I FORGOT TO ADD YOU TO THE INITIAL TAGLIST 😭😭😭)

└> A/N; the angsty ass heartbreak yet the closure at the end is so UGHHHHHH i wrote this all in an hour and a half and tbh for the time spent on it im extremely satisfied. prolly my fav fic so far (mostly cus im an angst lover) but i really hope y'all like it as much as i did! also i've been super super busy this week i only got the chance to proofread once so i'm very very very sorry for the errors. i also rushed putting this together (bc again im really busy rn) so i apologize if there's anything odd. if there's an error that sticks out obnoxiously to you feel free to tell me!

part of the feelings on shuffle. collab!

ılı.lıllılıı.ıllı

↳ currently playing ;;

Bye My First... - NCT DREAM

0:56 ——•———————— 3:26

↺ << ll >> ⋮≡

ᴠᴏʟᴜᴍᴇ: ————•

Love, I only have you

When  I said I'd risk my life

To  prove you were my last love

That was yesterday (Woo!)

Your sobs loudly spread through the playground, as the other kids ignore your pain. There was always some crying kid at the playground everyday. Ignoring the pain of a peer was an odd normalization, but it existed at your school. No one seemed to care about your injury.

But he did.

Lee Donghyuck. He was quite popular among your peers due to his extroverted personality. He was the last person you'd expect to see when you opened your eyes.

At first you were in disbelief and thought you misunderstood because of your blurry vision from the overflowing tears.

But it was real.

"Hey, don't cry." He urged, not knowing what to do. He himself didn't know why he was here either, he'd always ignore people when they cried. It's not because he wanted to, but because he didn't know what to do.

Though, when he saw you, he felt the urge to protect you.

That was the first step into something dangerous between the two of you.

To this day you're still not sure whether you regret it or not.

It was clumsy first love

Always  by your side, next to you

I  followed you around everywhere, I might as well stick to you

I thought everything would work out if we did it all together

"Haechan!" You yelled while running next to your best friend. It was the last day of elementary school, and you wanted to spend the whole day with your best friend (and crush), Lee Donghyuck.

You'd miss him over the summer, he always brightened your day. He felt the same way as well, both of you clinging to each other the whole day.

"You know... It's a different school and stuff. We won't forget about each other Hyuckie, right?" You asked, twiddling with your fingers in worry. "Of course not, we'll always be best friends Y/n." He said as the both of you hugged each other, not wanting to let go.

You'd never let go of him, or so you thought.

Oh, how much simpler it was to be young and careless.

--

"We have new neighbors Y/n, and they have a son your age. I know you've been missing Donghyuck, so why don't you try to make a new friend?" Your mother urged, saddened by your unhappy state ever since the summer started.

"But mommy... no one will ever replace Donghyuck." You said tearing up. You had really grown a connection with your “best friend”, and it was quite noticeable.

God, were you a sensitive child.

"I'm not telling you to replace him baby, just make a new friend!" She tried once again, hoping you'd follow through with her request.

You mumbled a small fine before going back to your room to put on some shoes. You washed away all your worries, wanting to experience some happiness over the summer.

You opened the door and walked out. You twiddled with your fingers in nervousness, that being one of your most annoying habits. You walked out, and as soon as you went out your eyes met familiar ones.

Haechan?

Haechan!

The both of you ran towards each other, falling on the grass with your bodies attached in a comforting hug. You both laughed and brushed off the grass from your clothes.

"Why are you here Haechan??" You asked, completely confused. How did he know where you lived?? Isn't that a little cree-

"I moved here! I didn't even know you lived here Y/n, but I'm happy." He says clapping his hands, excited for what the summer brings between the two of you.

A summer full of Haechan was exactly what you wanted! You were glad to have your best friend live next door, as it opened more doors for your friendship.

Although, a summer full of Donghyuck was not what you needed for the future.

Those were the days of youth, it was like a movie

The anxiety that's been closely followed by love

I thought I grew up

What do I do?

All  those times were memories

It all passed by

6th grade. In 5th grade you were at the top of the chain at the school. Now you begin once again at the bottom. You're finally growing up, something you didn't expect to hit so soon.

Growing up? You're so funny Y/n.

You and Haechan didn't have any classes together, only sharing the same homeroom. It was a bit disheartening, but you knew you guys would still be glued together.

Yeah, you sure knew...

"Y/n, guess what?" Donghyuck said as he ran up to you, clearly in a bright mood. You were happy to see him happy, expecting some great news. You nodded at him and smiled.

"I have a girlfriend!"

The words you've dreaded and hoped to never come out of his mouth.

It was going to happen, was it not? But why so soon....

He was your best friend. Stop overstepping your boundaries Y/n, know your place. You're being selfish, you scolded yourself mentally.

Be happy for him, his happiness is yours.

You nodded and smiled at him, not knowing what else to say. "Do you wanna meet her?" He asked, wanting his best friend and girlfriend to get along. "Sure!" You said, getting up.

"She's in our homeroom, over here!" He said dragging you by your hand. "Hey, Luna, this is my best friend Y/n." Donghyuck said introducing the both of you to each other.

You could detect her scowl from a mile away, her eyes glaring at you and Haechan’s intertwined hands. You looked back at Haechan, clearly oblivious to her reaction.

Couldn't he date someone nicer? It could've been so much easier for you.

They'll break up after a couple weeks, middle school relationships never last.

Their relationship definitely lasted longer than it should have.

Baby (Baby)

I'm really gonna go crazy (Crazy)

Because I fell for you

And all I knew was straight ahead

Donghyuck didn't know what to do.

"Stop being friends with her." The words rang in his head constantly, as he weighed out his options. He couldn't do this to her, not Luna, she was his first girlfriend. He wanted to her to be his first and last

God, what a fucking mistake on his end.

--

"We can't be friends anymore." Donghyuck said, not bothering to make eye contact with you. Your heart shattered with his words. Why? Why would he do this?

You knew exactly why.

Donghyuck and Luna have been dating on and off since 6th grade, it's now 9th grade. There was always one common subject in their arguments that led to breakups.

You.

You should've known sooner, but it's still a major letdown. You didn't know whether to be disappointed in yourself or Donghyuck. "Okay." You sighed, holding your tears.

"Huh? Really?" Donghyuck said, finally turning to make eye contact with you. Your eyes were never something he could decipher, maybe that's why he was so attracted to you-

-as a friend of course.

Your eyes looked dull, but he couldn't tell what you were feeling in the moment. "It was expected of you, Haechan. You've been avoiding me recently, and it doesn't take a genius to know why." You explained.

"I know you'll be fine. You were turning away from me to hang out with those basketball boys anyways, not that I dislike them." You answered before walking away.

He didn't deserve to see your tears. You're a strong girl, are you not?

You didn't want to hear what he had to say, you didn't even want to hear an apology. You knew Haechan, correction, Donghyuck pitied you in this moment.

You don't need his pity. If he really cared he wouldn't have done this.

All these years so in love with a boy that never cared to love you back, so it felt.

Yeah, now you know how heartbreak feels like.

It's whatever, so so

I guess this is it

I wanted to do better

I still don't know

I've only went this far

(Love is a little hard)

You never opened your curtains. Not once, never again. Your window pointed straight to Donghyuck's room, and you didn't need to be constantly reminded.

You remember when you made the mistake of opening your curtains, you saw Luna in his room, giggling. As soon as she saw you, her laughs amplified.

It was sad. You knew what she was trying to do, yet it still worked.

She knew how to remind you that you've lost, and you let her step on top of you. She won, that's all that mattered in her eyes.

It was all a major reality check, because Donghyuck didn't care. He never did. He never cared about you, not since day 1.

He saved you from that playground, only from mere infatuation. You weren't a fool, you noticed it. He never cared about you, he was just interested in the idea of having a friend like you.

What a piece of shit.

Never, never again.

--

Donghyuck felt like absolute shit. He had never seen or heard of you after that. Of course he noticed how your curtains were always closed, how could he not?

He asked the Neo basketball team for advice, not knowing what to do. He missed your friendship, he missed you.

How could he have been so inconsiderate?

He remembers how the Neo basketball team looked at him when he explained the story, criticizing him. Taeyong had to be the one to tell everyone to stop, but he shouldn't have.

He knew he deserved it.

He laid on his bed that night. Body facing the window, the one which you shared many memories communicating.


That night he cried.

For the first time in his life, Lee Donghyuck cried for you.

That's right, I'm so so

Maybe I'm young-minded

I didn't want to be caught

A secret only I know

I'll bury it here

(Love is a little hard)

Donghyuck was popular, he'd been popular his whole life. Not only that, he was commonly crushed around campus. Too bad though, because everyone knew he was Luna's boyfriend.

He knew that everyone viewed him in his relationship as Luna's boyfriend.

Duh, obviously. They were dating. But why did Donghyuck hate the label so much?

The answer was obvious, but he’d never accept the truth. It's far too late.

Today was another realization for Donghyuck. He walked into the library, or almost did. He stopped once he heard Luna's voice. He hoisted the door to the library slightly open so that he could hear what was being said.

"Awe, all alone now aren't you? No Donghyuck to stay by your lonely side? Not anymore.” Luna said, taunting you.

Haechan didn't have to think twice to know who Luna was talking to.

You hummed softly, giving her minimal attention. Luna was unhappy by your response, or lack thereof. "No reaction? Someone’s being a little bold." Luna scowled.

You once again failed to give her any attention. Haechan noticed how the situation was escalating and took the risk of being seen by one of you.

He had to see what was going on, and he decided to peep his head through the door to look at the scene.

You had been intentionally ignoring Luna everytime she tried insulting you, because you knew she always wanted a reaction from you. It reassured her, a win in her eyes.

Luna had enough with you. She had quite the short temper, which wasn't much of a secret to the school. Haechan had never seen her try to get violent, not until now.

She raised her hand, now milliseconds away from slapping you.

That memory will forever be ingrained in his mind, the moment he realized he didn't protect you. He hurt you, he witnessed someone he (thought he) loved try to do the same.

He felt pathetic as he walked away from the library, not bothering to intervene. He decided to keep it to himself, a rather painful secret.

Why did things have to get so complicated?

Ooh, I know as much as everyone else

Now, I'm not

Young anymore

I told you to trust me

Endless love

Someone in your heart

Don't get carried away

It's eventually stop

Junior year. Oh how time passes by so quickly.

Haechan didn't expect to walk into his class on the first day to see you and Jeno laughing. One of his own best friends, how could Jeno do this to him?

All he saw was red. He was lucky that Jaemin stopped him before he did anything he’d regret.

"I'm so fucking tired of this Donghyuck." Jaemin said, clearly about to burst. "Grow the fuck up. She's not yours, she never was. You treated her like shit and now you're angry someone's making her happy again? I don’t wanna get involved in something that has nothing to do with me, but I knew if I didn't pull you back you would've hurt my best friend. I’m not letting that happen, not in my eyes again.."

Jaemin was so right, Haechan couldn't even correct him. It was the truth.

That day, he broke up with Luna.

It's time he starts a new beginning, but he couldn't let go of you, not just yet.

He wanted you back in his life again.

You said I was the only one in the world

But let go of my hand

And I stupidly held onto those days

I truly knew nothing

Such a pure first and last

It all passed by

It was official, the day he had always dreaded. You were officially star basketball player Lee Jeno's girlfriend.

Donghyuck knocked at your door, expecting your mother to open the door. Of course things didn't go according to plan, because Lee fucking Jeno opened the door.

"Huh? Donghyuck? Why are you here." Jeno asked, confused.

You were in the kitchen and as soon as you heard his name you got up in confusion and walked to the door.

It had been so long, too long since the two of you had spoken to one another. "Why are you here, Donghyuck?" You asked in confusion. He could see the way your eyes dulled when you looked at him, and it hurt so much. He deserved it though, he really did. "Let's talk, in private." He said, not wanting to confront you in front of Jeno.

"Okay." You said as Jeno walked back in, you following him outside.

Baby (Baby)

My heart has changed (Heart)

If I don't say something

You'll never notice

"What did you need?" You asked Donghyuck uninterestedly, but still not as bothered as you'd expected. Neither of you felt as if you were prepared for this moment, the closure.

This was the end. The end of you and Donghyuck’s chapter of failed romance.

"I want to try again-" Before silence could pass after his words you laughed loudly. He would've enjoyed the giggle if it was in any other context.

"Now? After how many years? Donghyuck, I don't know what makes you think I'm so easy to get but it's honestly really weird. I thought you'd be happy for me, no?" You asked, utterly confused yet amused.

You sighed, finally deciding to take this seriously. Both of you needed this closure. "Donghyuck I'm thankful for everything, you were my first love. For 7 years I was head over heels for you, but I was too optimistic when it came to my trust in you. I think it's time we both let go and just settle down as friends. I'm sorry it had to be this way, but what's done is done. I'm happy, and I don't want to hurt mine and Jeno's feelings just for your own satisfaction. I love you so much, but I know you can find someone so much better. Please move on, because I have and I don't want to see you in pain. Maybe if things were different we could've been together, maybe if you didn't break my heart.”

Those were the words he needed. It's time.

It's time to let go.

The both of you cried in each other's arms, it was a goodbye to the past and a hello to your present.

"Thank you for everything." You said in a broken voice as Haechan nodded, not wanting to speak knowing his voice would break.

The pain the both of you suffered was immeasurable, but it's what brings you to beautiful moments like these.

Now you're both finally growing up.

So yeah, maybe love is a little hard.

“we’re always learning as we grow. even though we all have our painful experiences, but they shape us into who we are now. so thank you, thank you for shaping me into who i am. i will truly love you till the end. thank you for being my first love, for teaching me to let go.

from your forever best friend, y/n.”

kvydence, 2021 ❣︎

[honeyedlashton]

hi, sorry if this is weird but i'm checking out your page and wondering if you would still like to answer a pure ask because it was so cute and 🤗 just ignore this otherwise but my emojis are 🐰💌🍯🌧

Oh my god yeah! Feel free to ask me anything anytime obviously! My inbox is always open. But thank you for asking regardless 😭 I had to re-look these up but it was worth it, I love myself so I love looking through the stuff I reblog, so thank you for giving me an excuse, Anon 💘

🐰- do you believe in soulmates?

Of course I do! I believe in people being destined to love and care for each other’s souls. Platonically, romantically, everything. I think there is nothing as beautiful as a soulmate. And I know everyone has their own. ✨

💌 - diary or journal?

I’m a journal girl. I can’t help it. Diaries never keep my interest. I love to write about myself and things I’m thinking and diaries are just so surface level to me. Though I don’t judge. I treat a journal like a diary so maybe I’m the problem 🫢

🍯- describe your favorite smell.

Okay picture this: it’s flowery like jasmine and sweet like honey and woody like sandalwood. Vanilla and orange are in there too. It’s like a mixture of spring, summer, winter, and autumn all in one delicious smell. And it’s universal. I want everything to smell like that. Candles, body soap, hand soap, body spray, lotion. My favorite smell in the world 🧁

🌧- favorite thing to do on rainy days?

Oh my god when it rains I love to listen to it fall. I pause whatever I’m listening to. If I have a nice moody candle I light it, and I just listen. Or if I’m out and about I stare out the window and listen to a very specific playlist I made for rainy days. But yeah. I always wanna read but the sound of the water is so soothing I relax and let myself relax completely. I think when it rains is the only time I’m calm ☔️

[akane171]

Pfff, THAT doesn't count, I'm hard-headed 😂😂 (Plus, well, no wonders my memory is shitty🤷🏻‍♀️😅🙈)

Didn't Naruto and Sasuke technically do that with Kaguya's dimensions? Oh, and I think Dragon Ball Super had a whole Tournament in which the losers' universes get destroyed?🤔😅 And well, thanks for the warning!🙈😂

Ehw...fishy...😕 And nope, we-or well, at least *I* - am being truthful😊 (animals have to be protected, I don't care who or what I have to annihilate to protect them, but I will protect them, esp. Puppies😍)

...That's a very weird running joke, how the heck did you guys end up with that?😅 (Some friends of mine used to make a similar joke but it was mostly just to annoy our asian friend by being asses, soo🤷🏻‍♀️😅🙈)

Juuup, it's so sad, it will never be funny😭

Ahh, yes, true, he totally went all adaptive Dad-mode on those freaking teenagers 😍😂 And yuup, his development was beautiful😍😍🙈

WAit, WHAT?!? YOU'VE WRITTEN A FIC LIKE THAT?!?! OMG, HOW DID I MISS THAT REPEATEDLY WHILE BINGING THROUGH YOUR STORIES?!?!😱😱😱😱😱😭😭😭 Excuse me, I think I need to go and find out if I'm blind or just too stupid to see🤦🏻‍♀️🙈

HAHAHA, I'd totally watch a show with just those meetings in each episode🤣🤣😍

..."have a talk with her"... sooo...Angry mob and Bazookas?🤔😉😂

You know, I don't think I've ever thought about whether Bal-Seg knew something about that or not, but now I'm very curious, too, and itching to ask LW🤔😅🤦🏻‍♀️

Hmm, well, dunno what would be 100% accurate (only LW can know THAT) but I like to think Bal would be his usual semi-grumpy self and snark with/at Mon-El, but actually be quite happy cause Kara obviously makes Mon happy and want to be better (like the great king Mon should have been damnit!)🤔 Maybe be a bit suspicious of Kara cause despite Mon and Bal being idiots who can't just tell each other they care deeply for each other (...Lol, is this a pattern? Looks like Mon's relationships with people are showing a pattern😂😉) he is kinda protective of his prince?🤔 [Tbh, not going too deep into it cause I still plan on writing this whenever I finally have enough time to properly sit down and work on it, my One-Shot idea was sth like a Medusa episode AU of PiaD in which Mon gets infected and Kara somehow learns of an alien who might know sth which turns out to be Bal-Seg, going to beg for his help and him coming cause he didn't save his prince so the idiot could die like this damnit and well, Mon might or might not be thinking he's hallucinating/dreaming?😂😅]

Ohhh, I really like this idea of yours!😍 Bal-Seg and Mon actually leaving?? It sounda so angsty but uff, sounds like It'd be SOOOO good🙈 And awwwww, Bal sitting with Mon all the time 😍😍😭😭

Hmm, maybe after he helps (e.g. by somehow negotiating with the aliens?) he tries to go back to the whole no-contact thing with Kara but she finally wants to talk about it, they have one of their spectacular fights/arguments (Oh god, now I'm imagining all the kind of hurtful things they could bring up like Mon saying sth like "Why?! Why do you even care?! I'm just the selfish fratboy of the universe DAXAMITE PRINCE, right?!") and they just blow up at each other and Eliza and Bal have to go and "translate" and make Karamel see reason and truly talk to each other instead of deciding the other is better off without them or sth? Oh, and maybe they somehow end up back in a Cell like in Cadmus (kinda to make them reminiscence cause pretty sure that's when at least Mon realized he might be falling for Kara) and finally admit how they really feel?🤔 (Nevermind this, I'm just brainstorming, feel free to ignore this😅🙈)

Jup, that he definitely is and that's how we love him😍😂

It WOULD be precious😍🙈 They could have a Frenemenection?🤔 Frenebros?🤔 

You too!😊

PS: Ohhhhh, nearly forgot: Have you seen the first two episodes of the Obi-Wan Kenobi series?!? Not gonna spoiler but OMG, S3!Mon is literally a mirror-version of Obi-Wan at that point in time😂🙈

XXX

...how often do you hit your head.... if you know it's oh so hard...

You know, i tried to erase the last arc from my memory, so I don't remember a shit...

So, you don't eat meat? No ham? No cold meat? No steaks? No hamburgers with puppies?

I don't remember, seriously. Our field of study was and still is very specific and weird people end there, teachers included. Our fave philosophy of life was WELTSCHMERZ.

Yay! Go go Chris fanclub!

Oh yes, I did. IN POLISH so don't get excited... But damn, it is so funny. So much funnier than in English, sigh

We will know? Hopefully XD

You know now, that if you won't write it, I will go aftr your ass too? So yeah? Cool ideas about Seg meeting Karamel, now go and write it? YES??????

I was kind of thinking about him, being the prince, going for negotiations that ended with whole night drinking and he ended super hangovered and Kara screamed at him again, because frat boy of the universe strikes again, while him just silently taking it and then giving Alex a napkin with some scribble. The more hangovered aliens come and prised the Daxamite prince strong head and how he out-drank them what ended with them singing some treaty and Kara is like,what treaty? And the point the napkin, where indeed, a nice for humans treaty is written.

And well, I think Kara and Mon El would argue a lot, him maybe helping sometimes with stuff, that Bal Seg comes more and helps them, without Mon-El but Kara is dissapointed every time when he doesn't appear, but when he does, she is snappish and annoyed, what makes him annoyed too, you know, idiots in love who can't talk to each other like normal alien beings. And well, maybe Mon-El could get interested for the first time in stuff he really likes, like engineering, and creating his legion ring? A lot of ideas, if you have something, please share :D

A Max fanclub too, huh? xD High five!

Fremenection sounds like something from Dune xD

And no, so far I didn't but I plan, of course. It's our son Obi-Wan, right?!!!

[akane171]

Yeah, I get what you mean 🙈 There was a time I was 100% immersed in reading fanfics about their BROTP/frenemy-ship and uff, just all the emotional damage and depth as well as problems and love one can pull out of those two WITHOUT having to go off canon is just...WOW! And ohh, esp. their early years together just give SO MUCH, like, Obi taking in that responsibility regardless of everyone being against it, him being a bit jealous/bitter how Qui-Gon (who nearly didn't take Obi as his Padawan and pretty much had to be begged to) seemed willing to "drop" Obi for Ani, Ani struggling to "not feel", being an outsider, having to catch up, ... Just, uff, SO MUCH UNSAID/UNSHOWN CONTENT!😭😍😭😍😭

Ohh, is it because of his weird romantic talk that you're not really a fan of Anakin's or just generally didn't vibe with him?🤔😂

Fine, judge all you want, I don't care, it's not like judging isn't kinda an inherently human trait anyway🤷🏻‍♀️😂💃🏻

Ohh, okay, Yeah, I think I'll have to go and check that 🤔

...Eh, why would we need to feed them? You DO realise those are free kangaroos who come and go without having to have our permission or being dependent on us?😅 It's not a zoo, Kat😂 So, no, they aren't dead, they're perfectly fine😁

Nooo, HALT, STOP! I might be the author, but it's not like they ever actually DO what I PLANNED, UH-UH, those two are their usual headstrong-goat-like selves and suddenly decide to change the storyline or just make everything I write turn to 💩, so nope, not my fault🤷🏻‍♀️😂 (PS: You know, the more I think about it, I actually just wanna snap and tell everyone and everything off too 🤷🏻‍♀️😂 Like, what a chill life 😉)

Hmm, True, I've seen it in AO3, but nowhere as commonly as back on fanfiction.net (aw, sometimes I really miss those days of Schilling through all fanfiction.net pages, but ao3 really is the easier/better site🙈)

😂😂 Ohh, apropo Rhea, I was wrong, I'd forgotten about Rhea in the Hunger Games AU, THAT one is awesome🙈😂

Yess, same, fingers crossed!!😁🙈

..."Powers"?🧐🤨

Ooooo-kay, I really didn't need THAT image in my head...ehww, all those bacteria on their tongues after that😰🙈🤢

Absolutely traumatizing, just half-imagining that makes me wanna go to therapy😅😂

Yes, yes, as long as MW are happy☺😊🤩💃🏻

Ehh, wasn't the film with Ewan the Illuminati one? I don't remember him in the Da Vinci code, but it's been a while, so maybe he WAS in both movies?🤔😅

No promises 😂😁🤷🏻‍♀️

Thaanks☺ You too! Nearly reached the weekened, too😉

XXX

What I like about the fics is how they can explore more things from the canon and thing that were ignored and some SW fics nailed shit. Things like, you know, characters having heart to heart conversation or monologues in their heads about how they don't get the behavior of the other xD God bless the fics ;D

I'm not a fan of the chosen one trope. He was interesting because he was chosen one, then he was the bad guy, just to end as the chosen one again. But still, first annoying kid, then annoying teen talking about sand and having super dumb lines and then a pissed off dude killing YOUNGLINGS! So, in a way he broke the trope but in the end he didn't xD But that was Vader. I can't really think about Anakin and Vader as an one xD Plus, well, I kind of felt the time was wasted on him, when we could just watch Obi-Wan staring at walls or something ;)

And dunno, i think I'm rarely fan of the main heroes of the stories, tehy are too predictable, I guess?

(before I forget, Poets Of The Fall released a new song, Chasing Echoes)

*sips tea*

Mhm. Tell that to Greenpeace when they when finally get my complaints about you.

This is what you say yourself before the sleep? D: Because they all EXIST IN YOUR HEAD. Without you, the HORRBILE angst would not exist! Ha! (Do it! Rao is my witness, thaty i wanted to do it after many SG eps or in some of my stories)

Yeah, I hold some sentiment over FF.net, it was my first fanfiction sire after all. It was annoying and posting was sometimes a pain in the ass, but still, good memories xD

LOL, you are right, she is nice there. How the reading that fic is going? :D

I can curse people and I am pals with a real life demon. Just saying.

IKR?! Who the fuck wrote it?!!! I know it was Chris, so the scene was hot just becasue he was in it, but stillllllllllllllllllllllll, poor boy, wonder how much he was traumatized after it.

My two fave hermits who deserve love, happiness, unicorns, dinosaurs, chocolates and reasons to come out of their cave and show their faces at least one time every month TT

Nope, it was Angels and Demons (or something like that).

WEEKEND!!!! AND EUROVISIOOOOOON NIGHT!!!!!!!!

Have a great time, hope everything is fine with you :)