#god fuck i love HD she is goals goals goals

[lillythepup]

I DONT WANT TO BE ALONE IN MY BEDROOM

WRITING MESSAGES

YOU WONT READ

I DONT WANT TO BE ALONE IN MY BEDROOM

ON THE INTERNET

WAITING TO SAY

HI?

[bee-barnes-author]

9 people you want to get to know better

Thanks @hd-literature for the tag!

Favorite color: I fucking love blue. You can show me just about any shade of blue and I'll fall in love with it.

Currently reading: i'm reading like 4(?) books rn. American Gods by Neil Gaiman, the purple acotar book (court of mists and fury i think?), Gerald's Game by Stephen King, and Babel by R.F. Kuang

Last song: I refuse to narrow down to the last song so here's the playlist I was listening to.

Last movie: The Wrong Missy. We watched this at the request of my sibling on their birthday recently. It wasn't bad, but it also wasn't the best movie I've ever seen. It did get a few genuine laughs out of me though.

Sweet, savory or spicy: I love them all equally. It just depends on the mood I'm in lol

Currently working on: The Beast in the Glass House, a spicy supernatural horror thriller in which handsome, rich CEO, and Alpha werewolf, Damon Grayson becomes the worst version of himself to ensure his soulmate accepts their mating bond, even if she initially doesn't want it. Comparable to books like 'You' by Caroline Kepnes and 'The Perfect Girlfriend' by Karen Hamilton. The first draft just hit 46k words today, with the end goal of 79k. Almost there!

I'll tag @writeblr-of-my-own @junypr-camus @vsaintsin @leahkentwriter @ellierenae @sirensatyr @ibeaky/@following-the-drum @em-dash-press @stellarosamarys

[bridenore]

HD Erised 2020 recs

Here are some of my favorite fics from @hd-erised 2020. Listed in alphabetical order.

***

Chain Me Up or Set Me Free by @alpha-exodus [12k]

This horrid bonding thing is all Potter’s fault, obviously. As for what comes after that? Draco’s not quite sure.

Crown Witness by @slytherco [70k]

After the war, wizarding society is oppressed by a new kind of plague—an organised crime group calling itself the Family.

When Harry Potter goes to interrogate a potential witness, he doesn’t expect to end up on the run again, trying to keep Draco Malfoy alive, while a manhunt follows in their footsteps, adamant on eliminating the one witness that could ruin everything.

In which Harry and Draco learn that the way to each other might just have to go through the dingiest hotels in Britain.

Forged through flowing water by @tedahfromtayla [40k]

When Hermione sets up a diplomatic mission to begin repairing the damage British colonisation did to Indian magical communities Harry isn’t going to pass on the opportunity to visit and help his family’s home country. Maybe he should have asked a few more questions about the personnel she had recruited for it before signing on because Malfoy surely has an ulterior motive to be there.

Or

Harry goes back to India to rediscover some of his lost roots. He meets Malfoy there. Hijinks ensue!

Heaven Through a Window by JocundaSykes [81k]

Life is going swimmingly for Draco: he’s a respected Healer, his son is excellent in every way, and none of his patients have died recently.

Then he gets landed with Perfect Potter and his hordes of stupid friends. It’s intolerable. But the more time Draco spends with the lonely boy from Surrey, the more he believes that there might be a hero within us all.

Hung (Up On You) by @gracerene09 [5k]

Harry doesn't see any need going all the way to St Mungo's just to heal up a scratch, but if Malfoy wants to take him home and heal Harry himself, he won't say no to that.

Knead by laughingd0g [83k]

This is not a story about Harry renovating Grimmauld Place.

This is a story about coffee shops and brewpubs, about Ginny and Luna on a farm with creatures, about magical Oregon, coastal road trips, flying, friendship, and Draco Malfoy's lean arms.

A Little Perseverance by @writcraft [19k]

Harry’s wand is dying and Draco’s flirtation with a magical matchmaking service is causing him no end of trouble. When Harry turns up at Draco’s shop looking for help, everything gets a lot more complicated.

Love and Paranoia by @sunnyeclipses [48k]

When Harry finds out his soulmate is none other than Draco Malfoy, he genuinely expects his life to go to shit. It doesn't help that Draco is an addict, coasting on reality-altering highs to feel something happy, something pure just once more before the comedown. What Harry doesn't expect is to care so much that it tears him apart at the seams.

A story about love, drugs, and getting better.

Not From Kindred Stock by @p1013   [45k]

"Potter!" Draco calls again, but this time he pauses at the sound of his voice. "Potter?"

Something is very wrong.

Because now that he's gained a little of his equilibrium back and the room is no longer spinning, Draco has a sinking realisation that his voice doesn't sound rough or gravelly, but rather different. Different like his vision and the feel of his body around his bones and the bloody goddammned fucking clothes on his—shagging Salazar, God fuck, this isn't his body.

Owl Was Well by @fencer-x [66k]

Draco Malfoy is not an owl, really he isn’t. He simply assumes the shape of one on occasion when he wants to find a bit of privacy—a goal entirely thwarted because Harry Potter doesn’t understand you can’t just grab any old bird from the Owlery and force it to send your missives and deliver your packages.

Sunseeker by @shiftylinguini [15k]

Harry is a struggling writer.

Namely, he is struggling with: writing his next book, dealing with his agent, finding a decent tea strainer, fielding his friend's concern over the aforementioned book, and figuring out who the cat loitering in his garden belongs to.

He also has a slight liking-Malfoy problem. Okay, he has a massive liking-Malfoy problem.

What Dreams May Come by @firethesound [36k]

If Harry had to get called into work on his day off, at least he was able to get Malfoy called in too.

***

I hope you enjoy these stories as much as I did!

[jalebi-weds-bluetooth]

Ishqbaaz Liveblog, E3: A Really Good Premise

I finally understand the appeal of the show. It's the perfect mix of politics, family relationships with a hint of star-crossed-hate-love story. So far. It's like a darker version of Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Gham and I must say, it's really interesting and now I'm even more pissed that they ruined it! 

Again - another show that would've done exceedinly well had it ended a year earlier or been turned into seasons. If IPK is India's Pride and Prejudice, then Ishqbaaz could easily be India's Dynasty. 

Without further ado, here's the liveblog:

Episode 3 “A Really Good Premise”

- Wah, Shivaay has a habit of walking away! 

- Rudra, valid question that why Shivaay isn’t throwing Anika out!

- Om ka look - kuch toh hai. 

- Experience? Kamzori? 

- Dadi advice time. Lol, the advice went right over Rudra’s head. 

- Acha, Shivaay’s kamzori is his khandaan. Nafrat bhi rishta? I feel like Rudy right now! Thank God Dadi explained everything. 

- LOL, Anika being disappointed in a big party is ME! 

- HAHA LOL Anika!!!!!!!! She knows Shivaay (great) and her look. 

- Hahaha this whole dialogue is like 5 buckets of foreshadowing. There is no shadow left in foreshadow. 

- Rudy’s ghatiya shayar is kaabil e taareef. 

- Omkara’s belief system is really good - my fav bro right now. 

- Ok, each of the bros are some elements. 

- Nice chemistry/mining/mineral class?

- Shivaay is iron, Omkara is gold. LOL what is Rudy? 

- Dadi hitting Rudy for his immaturity is me - that adorable hitting is everything. 

- Ok ab tak they’ve said Ishqbaaz 25 times. 

- HAHAHAH DADI already approves Anika! Nice, we stan independent girls. Oh shit, Dadi said about the parents. Poor Anika, she wants a fam :(

- SVETLANA, TEJ, GET OUT OF MY LINE OF VISION!

- Home Minister - hello bald chacha!

- I must say, Shivaay is highly influenced (in terms of personality) by his Tej uncle. The skin level similarities are interesting to note. 

- Rudy and Om already stanning Anika. 

- Anika, don’t hold random poori without gloves #covid 

- Hahaha, hilarious miscommunication! 

- Wah, Rudy is half afraid of Anika’s tashnbaazi. OM IS SO IMPRESSED! I  am REALLY liking Anika right now! “Kha kar!” Wah, great use of puns!!!

- This Home Minister might get screwed over like Mool Rajani (I’m just searching for a Mool Rajani right now)

- Tej is dramatic AF. 

- Hahahahaha, Home Minister - you’re finding your nobility along with the coins - on the floor. 

- TEJ IS SO DRAMATIC. I like him for this! Dude can be an interesting character in the show!

- Mrs. Oberoi????? Ah ofc, the secretary. 

- POOR JHANVI - I’M WITH YOU AUNTY! I’LL POUR TEJ’S BLOOD INTO THE BUCKETS OF PAINT SHIVIKA LATER, MUCH LATER, MAKE OUT IN (that’s the blood of all the shitty people and that’s canon)

- It’s sad but true, in really rich societies people are really ok with infidelities and stuff like that. Ugh, seen these shit first hand. 

- JHANVI I’LL KILL TEJ AND SVETLANA FOR YOU. 

- TEJ - DIE! HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO YOUR BEAUTIFUL WIFE! 

- Pandit ji, is it possible to burn Tej and Svetlana as offerings? We still do that?

- Lo, phirse Bhaiyon ka advertisement start.

- I must say, what mast paparazzi, I love all their advertisements. From songs to outfits, these kids are like “dude let our parents crap, we’ll coordinate our entry EVERY SINGLE TIME” Squad goals, legit. 

- This is Bharat Matrimony.

- Omkara Oberoi, “mere nazar aur nazariya roshni ki tarha hai. Ya toh hai, ya nahi.” Shayar, artist, will give really good hair genes to future children.

- Rudra Oberoi, “ARRE KAB TAK JAWAANI CHUPAAOGI RAANI, MUJHE KO KITNA SATAOGI RAANI (OR NATASHA, OR SHREYA, IDC ABOUT THE NAMES) MUJHSE SH- NOPE - FLIRTING KAROGI….. OH MUJHSE FLIRTING KARO JI!” Abs. The end.

- Shivaay Singh Oberoi “Who the fuck keeps on making my accounts?” *bam goes another phone*

- Or Nirma advertisement? 

 - Dadi is like LOOK AT MY SANSKAR, that totally skipped a generation. 

- Ok the press and show remembers that Priyanka is a powerful Oberoi too. 

- Dude, leave the girl alone too. Let her breathe. 

- YES ANIKA SAVE HER! 

- Who are Priyanka’s parents? YES ANIKA, ask important questions. Poor Priyanka. Stuck in this mill of wealthy family politics and shit. Yaar paani pilao koi! 

- You know I’m really liking Anika so far!

- OH IT IS THE GANESHA OM MADE! WITH THE RED (good job Om and sorry for the previous question). 

- OK I’M WAITING FOR THE K3G SCENE. CHALO BROS EK SAATH AARTI KARO. GIVE COMPETITION TO HUM SAATH SAATH HAI! 

- DO IT, GIVE EVERYONE THE HEART ATTACK. 

- Pinky… you got married to the wrong brother. Tej and Pinky should’ve married - it would’ve been hilarious AF. 

- Aye Haye, Shivaay didn’t forget his smallest bro either.

- Ok today’s poster is Om Jai Jagdish! 

- #Feelingdharmic. 

- Shivaay’s redeeming quality is the fact that he’s a really good brother.

 - YAY K3G scene strikes!

- I’m loving the aesthetic of the show as of yet - I still have questions as to what happens later. Very cohesive writing too. Usually first twenty five episodes are (cause that holds the pitch of the show and stuff)

- Meanwhile… Tej has grinned his molars to nothing, Pinky has done 50000 eye rolls, Svetlana doing random khusur pusur and Dadi just crying tears of happiness (I’m Dadi)

- OH NO, self burning live candle dude is coming on fore. 

- Dude, kisko jalana tha 

- aur kaun jal raha hai. 

- Yeah dude, Ganesh ji punishes paapis instantly. 

- Wait are the three bros lost in puja that they don’t see—

- WTF, damn that’s scary. 

- The End -

Well well well, I’m excited to liveblog the next episode! See you tomorrow (good thing this was queued). Also, what wouldn’t I have given to see IPK in this quality camera and INITIAL aesthetics (focus on initial, I have no idea what shit happens later in this show). This HD quality main Rabba Ve = Jalebi nosebleeds.

- S

Next up: E4 “Anyone between 40-59 is shit”

[starblazerm31]

The Arcana HC Main 6 As Retail Workers

So I’ve worked retail the majority of my working life.  Took things I’ve seen and applied it to the characters of The Arcana.

Asra

He's that one guy who gets along with (almost) everybody.

Works hard, moves with ungodly speed.

Leaves pranks scattered around the back room.  Waits patiently for a yelp followed by a "Dammit, Asra!!"

Did Asra just clear that pallet in fifteen minutes?!  Yes, he did.

Customers love him.  He's very helpful and polite, even to Karens...ESPECIALLY to Karens

He's one of those guys who knows exactly where everything in the store is.

He's also that guy who is ALWAYS stoned at work, but no one can tell.

Takes longer breaks than he should, but no one cares because he's so damn good at his job

Brings an amazing homecooked lunch.

Started laying down heavy spices on it when it started to get stolen.

It didn't get stolen again.

Nadia

She's the general manager.

God level customer service skills.  Her store's surveys are always overflowing with positive customer satisfaction scores.

She's one of those rare gems of a boss who gets work done but also retains the respect of her team.

Her store looks immaculate.

She's kinda stern on dress code.  You represent this store, you gotta look sharp.  Did you even comb your hair today?  Wash your face?  Brush your teeth?  She notices.

Karens beware.  She can see through your shit.

She doesn't tolerate customers abusing her team members.  You're yelling at an employee?  No reason is a good reason, but there had better actually be a problem.  Otherwise, enjoy your store ban.

Takes care of her team.  We have a really big sale coming up that is expected to fill the store with customers.  Amazing food and ALL THE SODA will be provided in the break room.  Enjoy!  Hey, you seem really down today.  Do you need to talk?  Let's go to my office where you can vent.

Asra, Julian, this is the second time I've caught you two loafing.  Please get back to work.

Actually gets out there and works with her team.  It's a truck day?  Nadia is out there pushing stock with them.  The cash registers are backed up?  She logs on and starts ringing people up.

Doesn't take District's bull.  No, that's a terrible plan for my store.  Why?  Because it impedes on *proceeds to list a mile and a half's reasons as to why corporate's new plan is a terrible idea*

Julian

He's not fast, but he sure is efficient.

He's one of the guys always having to take huge items to customers' cars.

One of the best in sales.  He knows tons of random facts about tons of things in the store, is good with people, and is honest.  Yeah...you might not want that one, honestly.  This one is made by a better manufacturer, has really positive ratings on Amazon, and comes with a warranty.

Is the guy most likely to reply "I'm with a customer, can someone else get that for me?" when called on the walkie.

Smokes (Vapes) with Asra and Muriel during lunch and after work.

Can always be found on top of a ladder in the back room.

Never seems to stop moving...  It is said that only Nadia has seen Julian loaf.  But then again, Nadia sees everything.

There are five Monster Javas in the break room fridge.  They are all Julian's.  Ah, so THERE's where that energy comes from...

Works here part/full time while going to med school.  Damn, dude.

Is usually the recipient of Asra's pranks.

Gets constantly asked if he can pull something down from a high shelf by a customer/fellow employee.

Muriel

The other guy hauling big items to people's cars.

Head of the truck line.  Dude can toss boxes like no one else.

Knows that the store would indeed be fucked without him (And Nadia is painfully aware of this too), so he loafs and hides when he feels like it.

Tries not to interact with customers much.  When he has to, he does so begrudgingly.  He'll tell them what they need to know, then shuffle away quickly.

Can usually be found high up on a lift, fiddling with something or bringing down a huge pallet from back stock.

The master of spill cleaning.

He's the powerhouse that comes on to the sales floor with two huge pallets of dogfood stacked as tall as he is, and he still manages to get it all stocked on the shelves before anyone really notices.

If he doesn't know where something is, he is quick to hand the customer off to another team member...the thing is, he knows where everything in the store is.  Muriel...

He is the guy who is really mysterious to other co-workers.  They will huddle together in groups and titter about him while watching him lift something really heavy.

Hangs out with Asra a lot, and knows exactly where he hid his pranks.

He and Asra take way too many tok-erm-smoke breaks.

Portia

Works the customer service desk.

Super polite to everyone, but salty enough to use that politeness to make Karens look like idiots.

Takes care of her cashiers.  She makes sure they have enough change, enough rolls of receipt tape, and keeps up with each one's break periods.

She allows the cashiers to keep a drink at their register, as long as they don't drink in front of customers.

No one stands around bored.  There really is plenty to do.  Restock the candy and gum.  Wipe down your register.  No one likes a gunky pin pad.

Is usually the one making all the calls on the walkie.

Multitasking queen.  Ringing up refunds while calling for carry-outs on the walkie AND taking phone calls?  Yes, Portia can.

Complaints come to Portia before they go to Nadia.

Like Julian, she never seems to stop moving...

Store re-shop (the stuff people leave lying around and return for refunds) gets sorted quickly and efficiently.  And she makes sure the store team know when they have re-shop for their department.

Keeps up with store goals.  Sales goals, credit card sign-ups, website referrals, everything.

Lucio

Assistant Manager.

No one can freaking stand him.

When he leaves, you can guarantee one of the team members is hissing "Man, I swear I'm gonna quit, this is BULLSHIT!"

Best salesman on the floor (pretty much the only reason he still has this job), and he makes sure everyone knows it.  Your customer bought the vacuum and bags?  Cute.  I got a lady to buy a 60" HD flatscreen, video cables, sound system, AND sold three-year warranties on them all.  Mmmm...smell that commission.

He's that manager that can completely demoralize a good situation.  You got all the stock put out an hour and a half early?  Good job, guys!  Now get to work on the new displays for the month.  And remember...I'll be checking on each of you to point out your mistakes.

When he's not oppressing the store team, he can usually be found in his office browsing his phone.

The only reason he doesn't hand out pointless write-ups like candy is because Nadia won't let him.

The Karen asskisser.

The intended recipient of Asra's pranks.

Tried to get Asra, Muriel, and Julian in trouble for smoking, but Nadia quickly told him that they did more work and held more influence in this store than he ever would.  In short...they weren't replaceable.  He was.

Was the person stealing Asra's lunch.  Spent the rest of the day running to the bathroom.  He never touched Asra's lunch again.

@bazzpop @alongtherailway @i-am-arcana-trash @count-lucios-titties @ilyasterisk @apprentice-grace @arcanathots @arcanamemes @the-arcana-fluff-and-stuff @ryanthatsgay

[artificialqueens]

Beyond My Wildest Dreams Ch 5/5 (Nina West/OC) - multifandomgeek

A/N: This is it, the final chapter. Thank you so much for everyone who left comments and indulged me on this little tribute to Nina. The project on this fic is inspired by the Project for Awesome, and in the back of my mind I hope Nina steals this idea some day and puts it to practice.

Thank you Writworm for betaing these last two chapters and thank you Meggie, pinkgrapefruit, and Dane for all the encouragement to finish this, I really needed it and couldn’t have done without it.

AO3

Nina’s house looked like the headquarters of a bank robber from an action movie. There were cables everywhere, her dinner table was currently supporting two big monitors connected to a laptop where there was a guy sitting down looking at so many things at once it was actually dizzying. On her couch, there were more people on laptops, and a few more desks were placed around temporarily.

The Big Project, now properly named Queens for Queers, had officially started 10 hours ago, though this set-up had been going on for a lot longer than that. There was a website up with all the information on the project. They had managed to partner up with some of the biggest LGBTQIA+ non-profit organization on the country plus a few international ones, and they were all listed with information on their work plus links to their own websites. Nina had done background checks on them personally, it was of the utmost importance that no corrupt or questionable organization was linked to this.

All the Drag Queens you could possibly know or follow on social media were talking about this, even if they weren’t participating directly on the project or didn’t help with the marketing campaign from the previous months. Queer celebrities and even a few mainstream ones were also helping spread the word spontaneously, making huge donations themselves. It was incredible.

When you visited the website, the first thing you saw was the donation button. Anyone could donate whatever amount they wanted, through any kind of card (debit, credit, international), and a couple of digital payments options also. That was a huge deal for international fans, Nina found, and had been a great idea not that hard to pull through. Under that, there was the ever-running number of dollars already raised, coupled with the name/alias of the last person who donated or purchased anything not anonymously.

Then, you would see the digital products. All the lives the queens were making were being recorded in HD and would be available for purchase. A few queens were also making special exclusive episodes of their podcasts for the project, some even making Q&As with only questions from buyers. There was Shangela’s podcast, Katya’s, Willam and Alaska’s, Bob and Monét’s, Dragcast, of course, and a few other popular Drag Race-centered pods. Trixie and Katya offered an exclusive episode of Unhhh with the same editors that would be called “This is totally a different show” for copyright reasons, which was really a money maker, Nina was considering upping the price of that one. Any of the digital products cost 15 dollars each, or you could have them all for $75. It was unlimited supply with a fixed cost and no shipping, really a nice, digital-era way of selling stuff. They would be delivered until pride and were being purchased in buckets by people all over the world, it was insane!

After that, you would see the merch. They had commissioned and in some cases had the works made for free from the best fan-artists known in the Drag Race fandom, and they were all printed on shirts, mugs, and posters ready to ship. All proceeds went to the project, but all credits were linked to the artists. Cheyne Gallard’s one was Nina’s personal favorite, and she was actually wearing it as she made sure if anybody needed anything while they worked.

Then, there were the lives’ tokens. The project would run for 24 hours, each hour had a live stream with a queen, some with two or three, like the Branjie one. Each queen was instructed to have a few things they could sell ready to be shown. Most of them had dug up some outfits they didn’t use anymore, some signed a few things. Katya promised to lick a few in her upcoming lives, and Nina had to tell her that no, she couldn’t fuck herself with anything and then sell it for charity, no matter how much more money it would make. Kevin made her sign a contract saying she wouldn’t, just in case.

Right now, Silky was live. She was driving around Los Angeles making every single person she knew sign the shirt she was wearing, which was obviously big enough to hold a lot of autographs, and Silky knew a lot of people. It was genius, people were already auctioning it on the website and the price was jaw-dropping. It was threatening to surpass Brooke’s red hoodie, which Vanjie convinced her to sell in their predictably most viewed live so far. Nina sat on her bed to watch it nervously, but her laptop got closed before she could really see anything.

“You need to calm down,” said Kevin, taking the device away from her and putting it on the nightstand with one hand while the other held a mug. “Finn is taking care of everything, we’re at a shouting distance, everything is going smoothly,” he said, climbing on the bed with her and sitting in front of her, handing her the mug. “I made you some nice, creamy cocoa,” he kissed her cheek, “so you can forget about numbers and internet connections for a second or you’ll have a migraine before this is even halfway done.”

“I love you so much,” said Nina, leaning to kiss Kevin on the lips after tasting the deliciously sweet cocoa. “Also, I noticed you locked the door?” she asked with a grin.

“I didn’t know if I would have to resort to extreme measures to make you relax, what can I say?” he said, smiling as he kissed her again. Nina put the mug away so she could kiss him deeply and pull him to lay down with her. She wouldn’t let it go too far (probably), but a little make-out session couldn’t hurt. She let out a low grunt as he licked into her mouth. Even after more than a year together, his soft touches mixed with passion still had her in awe.

“Oh my God, Nina!” came a shout, followed by a thug on the door, “bitch, is this locked?” Jamie’s voice could be heard as the doorknob rattled.

“Ugh,” grunted Kevin, falling on the bed on his back. Nina chuckled, giving him a short peck before getting up to open the door for her friend.

“What’s up, Jamie?” asked Nina.

“Remember when we said Ru must still be asleep?” said Jamie, barging into the bedroom and sitting on the edge of the bed with her laptop open. The project had started at midnight, and the lack of any manifestation from the biggest Queen of all had them jokingly saying she must still be asleep. Nina didn’t think much about it, really. Ru didn’t meddle with her children’s project, it was her MO. “She fucking woke up!”

Nina sat down and leaned into Jamie’s shoulder to look at her screen. Kevin did the same at her other side and both had their jaw dropped as soon as they spotted the number that indicated the amount of money they had already raised, right at the center of the Queens for Queers website.

“ONE MILLION DOLLARS?” Nina screamed. The last time she checked, they were at a very uplifting 400 thousand, still counting, and she was very happy with it. It was already more than she was hoping for, more than enough to account for the costs and then some, which was always the main goal.

“Mama Ru saw the thing and said, I’m gonna round it up for my girl Nina,” said Jamie laughing. She put her laptop on the bed and shook Nina a little, who was still frozen in her shocked expression. “She did it, Nina! For you!”

“One million fucking dollars,” she said again, looking at Jamie. “One million, Jamie!” she started laughing and hugged her.

“We’re not even halfway,” murmured Kevin from the other side, both hands on the side of his own face and looking like he was on the verge of crying. “Guys, that’s so much money,” he said, like he just realized it.

Jamie looked at him like she just now noticed he was there. “Oh, right, that’s why the door was locked! Sorry!” She said, suddenly picking her computer up. She hugged Nina one more time, they were both smiling as wide as they possibly could.

“One million,” said Nina again, giving little jumps of joy.

Jamie closed the door as she left, and Nina twisted the lock, promptly jumping at Kevin, tackling him to the bed and making him scream-laugh, startled. She kissed him all over his face, this wonderful man who she was so lucky to meet, so lucky to fall in love with, with whom she could share one of the biggest joys of her life right now. Who had made it happen, together with her.

“I love you so fucking much,” said Kevin, burying his face in Nina’s neck.

“One million dollars!” said Nina as if she was physically unable to say anything else. It didn’t matter, he knew. He laughed as she kissed him, kissing back just as fiercely.

The door was locked; they were going to celebrate.

[callunavulgari]

Scrapbook 2019 | Pt. I

Normal font - meh, it was okay | Italicized titles - enjoyed quite a bit | bold titles - love | titles with an asterisk* - all time favorites | (bracketed titles) - re-watches/re-reads | strikethough - dislike

Goals are: read one hundred books this year, finish five video games, write something novel-length and write something original. These last two goals CAN be combined.

MOVIES

January

(Kingsman: The Golden Circle)

Pitch Perfect 3

February

(Big Hero 6)

March

Geostorm

Captain Marvel

(Thor Ragnarok)

(Avengers: Infinity War)

(Pocahontas)

Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom

Venom

April

(Brave)

(Flipper)

(Spirited Away)

(Breakfast at Tiffany’s)

How To Train Your Dragon 3

Crazy Rich Asians

Matilda

The Death Cure

The Mummy (2017)

(Monster’s University)

Avengers: Endgame

May

Detective Pikachu

Bohemian Rhapsody

The Rim of the World

June

(Zombieland)

Rocketman

The Secret Life of Pets 2

Spiderman: Into the Spiderverse

July

Spiderman: Far From Home

Truth or Dare

(Coraline)

BOOKS

January

Ender’s Game | Orson Scott Card [Fin]

The Poppy War | R.F. Kuang [Fin]

Turtles All The Way Down | John Green [Fin]

Challenger Deep | Neal Shusterman [Fin]

The Bear and the Nightingale | Katherine Arden [Fin] 

Shards of Honor | Lois Mcmaster Bujold [Fin]

(Throne of Jade | Naomi Novak) [Fin]

The Wicked King | Holly Black [Fin]

Vengeful | V.E. Schwab

Elantris | Brandon Sanderson

February

Vengeful | V.E. Schwab [Fin]

Elantris | Brandon Sanderson [Fin]

(Black Powder War | Naomi Novak) [Fin]

(The Amulet of Samarkand | Jonathon Stroud) [Fin]

Once Upon a River | Diane Setterfield

(The Golem’s Eye | Jonathon Stroud) [Fin]

(Ptolemy’s Gate | Jonathon Stroud) [Fin]

The Screaming Staircase | Jonathon Stroud

March

Once Upon a River | Diane Setterfield [Fin]

The Screaming Staircase | Jonathon Stroud [Fin]

The Girl In the Tower | Katherine Arden [Fin]

The Whispering Skull | Jonathon Stroud

(Empire of Ivory | Naomi Novak) [Fin]

The Two Towers | J.R.R Tolkien

Winter of the Witch | Katherine Arden

Saga, Vol 1 | Brian Vaughn

Saga, Vol 2 | Brian Vaughn

Saga, Vol 3 | Brian Vaughn

Saga, Vol 4 | Brian Vaughn

Saga, Vol 5 | Brian Vaughn

Saga, Vol 6 | Brian Vaughn

April

The Whispering Skull | Jonathon Stroud [Fin]

The Slow Regard of Silent Things | Patrick Rothfuss [Fin]

The Two Towers | J.R.R Tolkien [Fin]

Winter of the Witch | Katherine Arden [Fin]

Forest of a Thousand Lanterns | Julie Dao [Fin]

King of Scars | Leigh Bardugo [Fin]

The Hollow Boy | Jonathon Stroud [Fin]

Mistborn | Brandon Sanderson [Fin]

The Well of Ascension | Brandon Sanderson [Fin]

The Creeping Shadow | Jonathon Stroud [Fin]

The Empty Grave | Jonathon Stroud [Fin]

May

Hero of Ages | Brandon Sanderson [Fin]

Everything I Never Told You | Celeste Ng [Fin]

The Kiss Quotient | Helen Hoang [Fin]

The Two Towers | J.R.R. Tolkien [Fin]

The Near Witch | Victoria Schwab [Fin]

The Trials of Apollo | Rick Riordan [Fin]

Alloy of Law | Brandon Sanderson [Fin]

The Gentlemen’s Guide to Vice and Virtue | Mackenzi Lee [Fin]

Shadows of Self | Brandon Sanderson

The Dark Prophecy | Rick Riordan

Sabriel | Garth Nix [Fin]

June

Shadows of Self | Brandon Sanderson [Fin]

The Dark Prophecy | Rick Riordan [Fin]

(Victory of Eagles | Naomi Novak) [Fin]

Warbreaker | Brandon Sanderson [Fin]

(Tongues of Serpents | Naomi Novak) [Fin]

The Bands of Mourning | Brandon Sanderson [Fin]

What If It’s Us | Becky Albertalli & Adam Silvera [Fin]

A Court of Thorns and Roses | Sarah J. Maas [Fin]

Carmilla | Kim Turrisi [Fin]

The Alchemist | Paulo Coelho 

The Eye of the World | Robert Jordan

The Hundred-Foot Journey | Richard C. Morais 

Three Dark Crowns | Kendare Blake

Mistborn: The Secret History | Brandon Sanderson [Fin]

The Eleventh Metal | Brandon Sanderson [Fin]

July

The Alchemist | Paulo Coelho [Fin]

The Eye of the World | Robert Jordan

The Hundred-Foot Journey | Richard C. Morais [Fin]

Three Dark Crowns | Kendare Blake [Fin]

Saga Vol. 8 | Brian Vaughn [Fin]

Saga Vol. 9 | Brian Vaughn [Fin]

Codename Villanelle | Luke Jennings [Fin]

Borne | Jeff Vandermeer [Fin]

Crucible of Gold | Naomi Novak [Fin]

The Time Traveler’s Wife | Audrey Niffenegger [Fin]

The Lady’s Guide to Petticoats and Piracy | Mackenzi Lee [Fin]

The Wise and the Wicked |  Rebecca Podos [Fins]

Sweetbitter | Stephanie Danler [Fin]

Blood of Tyrants | Naomi Novak [Fin]

PODCASTS

January

Adventure Zone Ep 1

EOS 10 s4 1-4

February

EOS 10 s4 4-7

March

The Penumbra Podcast

April

Adventure Zone Ep 2

May

Welcome to Night Vale Eps 30-54

The Bright Sessions -Bonus Eps-

June

Welcome to Night Vale Eps 54-59

The Penumbra Podcast (Second Citadel eps + last two Juno)

July

Welcome to Night Vale Eps 60-

The Magnus Archive Eps 1-11

TV SHOWS BY SEASON

January

Voltron s8

The Flash

Black Mirror: Bandersnatch

February

Happy

The Umbrella Academy

The Flash

Black Mirror

Russian Doll

March 

The 90s

The 2000s

(Sailor Moon)

Maniac

The Dragon Prince

(Inuyasha)

American Gods

April

American Gods s2

Voltron s8

World’s Weirdest Homes

Game of Thrones s8

Brooklyn 99

The Bold Type

Cupcake Wars

May

Schitt’s Creek s1-3

Game of Thrones s8

June

Schitt’s Creek s4

Good Omens

The Terror

Chernobyl

Black Mirror s4

July

Rick & Morty s3

Stranger Things s3

Schitt’s Creek s4

VIDEO GAMES

January

Pokemon Go?

(Kingdom Hearts: DDD, 54 hrs) [Fin]

Pokemon Let’s Go Eevee

Detroit: Become Human [Fin]

Kingdom Hearts 3 - Monstropolis, 20 hrs

Life is Strange, Episode 2, 4 hrs

February

Kingdom Hearts 3, 56 hrs [Fin]

Pokemon Go

Life is Strange, Episode 5, 20 hrs [Fin]

Life is Strange -Before the Storm- Episode 1 complete, 5 hrs

God of War (3 hrs)

March 

God of War (35 hrs) [Fin]

Assassin’s Creed: Odyssey (40 hrs)

April

Assassin’s Creed: Odyssey (43 hrs)

(Final Fantasy XIII)

Portal 2 [Fin]

Final Fantasy 15 - Episodes Prompto, Ignis, Gladio, and Ardyn [Fin]

May

Assassin’s Creed: Odyssey (70 hrs)

Life Is Strange -Before the Storm- Episode 2 complete, 15 hours

June

Assassin’s Creed: Odyssey (120 hrs) [Fin]

Rime (1 hr)

Final Fantasy XII: Zodiac Age (1 hr)

Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess HD (2 hrs)

July

Rime (25 hrs) [Fin]

Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess HD (35 hrs)

Witcher 3 DLC: Hearts of Stone [Fin]

Witcher 3 DLC: Blood and Wine (10 hrs)

DELIGHTFUL FIC

January

What Dreams May Come by Lenore | Crimson Peake | Edith/Thomas | 5k |  Ghosts are real, and there are things that tie them to this world. Sometimes it's because they want to linger, and sometimes it's because they are trapped. Sometimes ghosts need the help of the living before they can be truly free.

and prove your body wrong by paperclipbitch | The Defenders | Matt Murdock/Jessica Jones | 1k | Neither of them can read minds, but they both fake it for their day jobs.

these roads will take you into your own country by notbecauseofvictories | American Gods | Shadow/Laura, Gen | 5k | Here’s a joke for you: a Muslim, a zombie, and a leprechaun walk into a bar in Misery, Indiana. No one stares, because no one in the puckered, shitty asshole of Misery, Indiana gives a fuck. The Colts are playing.“Fucking new gods,” the leprechaun mutters, hunching his shoulders almost up to his ears. “Gridiron and Pepsi commercials.”

Small Step For Man by Toft [archived by yuletide_archivist] | Greek Myth | Artemis/Apollo | 4k | "It's all right, sister," Apollo whispers, and his arm is warm around her shoulder. She forgets, he is her twin, he is her other half; he knows her almost as well as she knows herself. "We're still the same."

learning curve by Yuu_chi | Detroit | Hank/Connor | 15k | “While sexual activity is not my default purpose, I do possess the capability,” Connor says without so much as batting an eye, unaware that he’s completely shattered Hank’s world view in one single sentence.

machine learning by kriegersan | Detroit | Hank/Connor | 31k | “This kinda shit doesn’t go away overnight. It’s only been a few months, Connor. We’re only just starting to know what this is gonna look like.” Lt. Anderson throws back his beer.“You think I don’t know that?” He sounds defensive. He tempers his voice. “I’m simply processing.”

eighteen wheels on an uphill climb by blackeyedblonde | Detroit | Hank/Connor | 73k | Hank is going to die. He’s going to die right here in Kentucky, 53 years old, halfway to broke, and tragically sober. Survived only by a nine-year-old St. Bernard and the 31-year-old twink who delivered the fatal blow.

Fuck pride (pride only hurts, it never helps) by ImogenGotDrunk | Detroit | Nines/Gavin | 40k | What Gavin cannot deal with is Connor’s replica; two inches taller, blue-eyed, and with a mouth that Gavin doesn’t know whether to punch or take between his teeth. The RK900 model has been assigned as his partner for the foreseeable future.

linguistics, semantics by pseudoanalytics | DBH | Hankcon | 49k | "So, what? Cyberlife gave you a preference for ugly, old, washed-up bastards?" Connor intentionally allows himself to appear unamused. "Absolutely not." He waits for Hank to look at him again before delivering his punchline. "I believe I developed that for myself."

Skin Deep by bughnrahk | DBH | Hankcon | 50k | Hank is 53 years old. He's never had a soul mark, doesn't have a soul mate. And he's fine with that. He cheated the system once and it cost him everything he had. Never again.When August 2038 rolls around and the number '313 248 317 - 51' appears on his arm in perfect Cyberlife Sans font, exactly where a soul mark should be, Hank wants nothing to do with it.

Watch Me, Watch You by elefseus (oscillos) | DBH | Hank/Connor | 82k | WIP | "How do you go about living when everything you've ever known changes? Can you?"

the most formidable lies by fshep | DBH | Connor/Gavin | 15k | WIP | Gavin is given an ultimatum: agree to give his mother’s coworker’s son a chance, or introduce his family to his new boyfriend, Connor, who isn’t his boyfriend at all.

February

and we'll figure it out by consumptive_sphinx | Temeraire | Lawrence/Tharkay | 1.5k | Everyone is born with their soulmate's name written on their skin, somewhere. Laurence has two names. Neither of them are in a script he can read.

Propriety and Fate by esama | Temeraire | Lawrence/Tharkay | 3.5k | It isn't as if one can go and talk about such things

Watercast by Fishwrites | Voltron | Keith/Lance | 205k WIP, Chapter 15 | Shiro has been a Galra prisoner for over a year; with his flight feathers clipped and unable to fly. Desperate to escape, he jumps overboard while being transported to the capitol on a Galran ship. Lance is a merman who saves him from drowning. Keith thinks Shiro is about to become mermaid dinner. Hunk just wants Lance to stop going to the surface all the time, dammit!

Afterlife by jaegermighty | Haunting of Hill House | Gen, Luke-centric | 6k |  Leigh and Steve name their daughter Eleanore, with an 'e' on the end which is more old-fashioned, they say. Eleanore Olivia Crain. Lots of dead people in that name; Luke's not a fan. Not that anyone asked his opinion.

in memoriam by oxymoronic | Bartimaeus | Gen | 1.5k | Kitty Jones has but a little strength left in her body, and she has decided on this lazy summer's night to spend it on the question which has plagued her for half a century.

March 

Second Chances by rootbeer | Teen Wolf | Sterek | 2k | "A lot of times the ‘markings’ were common, simple things you said to strangers all the time. 'Excuse me'; 'thank you'; 'hello'. Some got extremely romantic things like 'it’s you isn’t it? I’ve been waiting for you' or 'Wow you’re really pretty'. And they were always the first words their soulmate would ever say to them.Of course, having 'You are the fucking worst kind of person in the world' tattooed down your side, didn’t bode well.

have your cake and eat it too by keskasi | Naruto | Naruto/Sasuke | 7k | “What’s it like to give a blowjob?” Naruto asks.

Timing it Right by DragonBandit | The Bright Sessions | Mark/Damien | 14k | Damien's gold rises at Whitney. Mark tries to make things right.

April

and maybe you'll find a way to keep me a floating when i can't by LazyBaker | Stranger Things | 3k | Billie’s tough. Nothing but sharp edges with sharper teeth. She’s all bark and all bite.

A thousand by Ever-so-reylo (Ever_So_Reylo) | Star Wars | Reylo | 3k |  “I’m going to kill you, now.” The problem is—really, the crux of all of Rey’s problems at the moment—he actually thinks he means it.

He Who Is Made Of Iron by MayContainBlueberries | The Queen’s Thief | Gen, Costis centric | Tea reminds Costis of his childhood.

May

for my wild by vixleonard | GOT | Arya/Gendry | Set post 8x04, Arya tries to find out who Arya Stark is now.

Almost Cool by blacktofade | Buzzfeed Unsolved | Shane/Ryan | 30k | While filming the Yuma Territorial Prison episode, Shane gets bitten by what he thinks is a bat. Spoiler alert: it's not.

Two Worlds Collided by blacktofade | Buzzfeed Unsolved | Shane/Ryan | 10k | There's a new guy at work and Ryan belatedly realizes they've actually already met once before.

Keeping Out the Cold by blacktofade | Buzzfeed Unsolved | Ryan/Shane | After a strange ghostly encounter, Ryan and Shane begin sharing visions via a telepathic bond. AKA: the In Your Eyes AU that no one asked for.

Bringing Things Together by blacktofade | Buzzfeed Unsolved | 7k | “Look,” Shane says over the phone. “Mistakes were made.”

Pride by astolat | Game of Thrones | Jaime/Cersei/Brienne | 22k Jaime didn’t understand why Cersei suddenly insisted on trimming his hair and shaving his beard, but he also didn’t care to fight her on it, even though he’d just as soon have kept the beard: it was bitterly cold in the small tower room with its arrow-slits. At night, even curled together under the two blankets they’d been allotted, it took the better part of an hour before their bodies could warm the bed enough to sleep.

L'aura è tua messaggera by Rosyredlipstick | PJO | Nico/Will | 9k | Or, how the Stoll Brothers accidentally got Nico di Angelo and Will Solace together.

June

Competition by astolat | GoT | Jaime/Brienne | 11k | Almost the instant Brienne was out of earshot, Bronn turned to Podrick, jerked his head towards Jaime and asked, “Has he fucked her yet?”

Skin and Scales by Ernmark (M_Moonshade) | The Penumbra Podcast | Arum/Rilla/Damien | 17k | The man glares, and this time, Damien is certain it isn’t a trick of the light: those eyes are violet as amethyst. He wears disdain like a second skin–- or, perhaps, like the scales that he is missing.“Lord Arum?”

I will become yours and you will become mine by spiderwebsitar | DBH | Reed900 | 24k | After an argument with his new partner, Gavin Reed wakes up five years in the future married to an android who won’t stop making fucking waffles.

Numerology by Hth | Schitt’s Creek | Patrick/David, Sebastien/David | 20k | Still, it's true that Patrick can have his shy side. He likes to be a gentleman – Mr. Order Whatever You Want I'm Paying and Mr. Here Let Me Fix That For You and Mr. No David Not In the Backseat I Want It to Be Special – so David can't entirely rely on Patrick's willingness to charge forward for the greater good.

someone you like by caela | She-Ra | Adora/Catra | 5k |  catwithabat u think ur so hipster but u just look like a lesbian 27m she_ra @catwithabat bc… i’m a lesbian. lmao 5m

Ugly Words and Pretty Things by Ias | The Terror | Crozier/Fitzjames | 4k | There are words for a man like that.

Sands of Time by tirsynni | LoZ | Link/Ganondorf | 97k | Link awakens in the desert with no idea how he got there, to encounter his worst enemy...except it was the King of the Gerudo, not the King of Evil, he faced.

death shall be no more by Ias | The Terror | Fitzjames/Crozier | 5k | "I'd rather we leave our tents behind and sleep two to a sack like the orphans we are, than to leave one man alone with last burdens."

and then redemption by spidermooned (softlyblue) | Marvel | Spiderman & Loki | 7k | "Kid," says Tony Stark wearily, "Please gimme a reason Loki's been spotted talking to Spiderman that isn't 'I wanted to be his friend'. Please. Tell me you can do that."

so many ways to talk about longing by lymricks | Stranger Things | Harringrove | 3.6k | Steve wakes up--in a pool lounger--to Billy Hargrove looming over him. Billy pushes his sunglasses down and Steve thinks sleepily that it must be so that Steve gets the full impact of Billy’s narrow-eyed glare. “Harrington,” Billy says. “We’re fucking closed.”

sun gutters by lymricks | Stranger Things | Harringrove | 5k | Steve can feel Billy’s eyes on him. “You should get here early,” Billy says, casually. “Tomorrow. At six.”

Finders Keepers by blacktofade | Buzzfeed Unsolved | Ryan/Shane | 3k | Ryan wakes with a hangover and an empty bed, and only one of them he expects.

Back Room by forthegreatergood | Good Omens | Aziraphale/Crowley | 5.6k | Aziraphale actually does have quite an extensive collection of pornography in the bookshop. Like most of the questionable things in Aziraphale’s life, it’s Crowley’s fault.

killed with kindness by veterization | Persona 5 | Akechi/Akira | 52k | Goro can't quite figure out why so many people keep acting like they're his friend.

July

On mandated uniforms and workplace entertainment by Thei | Stranger Things | Harringrove | 2k | Robin loves this job. Besides an income, it also provides her with quality entertainment. Especially when she's working with Steve, and Billy Hargrove shows up.

don't make a shadow (of yourself) by lymricks | Stranger Things | Harringrove | 11k | WIP | And Billy, curled in a cheap plastic seat with his eyes squeezed shut, wonders, could it really be this easy? Just get on a bus and go home?

paper thin by sarcasticfishes | Buzzfeed Unsolved | Ryan/Shane/Sara | 9k | Shane’s new neighbors are a morning-sex kind of couple.

your love is three times better by sarcasticfishes | Buzzfeed Unsolved | Ryan/Shane/Sara | 14k | Ryan grimaces as he types out the words, >It’s Valentine’s Day. Don’t you want to do romance stuff?

you, through half-shut eyes by brawlite | Stranger Things | Harringrove | 8k | Two parts sugary sweet summer vibes, one part snarky instagram stories, and three parts mutual pining.

damn.nation, now available on itunes by antistar_e (kaikamahine) | Good Omens | Crowley/Aziraphale | 11k | When lowly tempt-pusher Amphora (formerly of Stairwell 7B North, before she Fell,) gets the notice that end times are nigh, she gleefully quits her job and cancels her Netflix subscription and takes her place among the legions of hell.This, it turns out, was a bad plan.

The Dragon and Her Wolves by hapakitsune | Game of Thrones | Sansa/Dany/Jon | 60k |  When the truth of Jon's birthright is revealed, control of the North and Daenerys's claim to the Iron Throne are both called into question. To preserve their tenuous alliance and secure her rule, Daenerys puts aside her personal feelings to arrange a marriage of political convenience between Jon and Sansa Stark.

Bonded by softestpunk | The Witcher | Emiel/Geralt | 13k | Regis is punished for Dettlaff's assumed death, Geralt comes to the rescue, and the two of them gain something neither of them would ever have dared hope for.

Something We Were Withholding Made Us Weak by triedunture | Good Omens | Aziraphale/Crowley | 17k | "Yes, exactly. Retire." Aziraphale reaches for the last remaining tartlet brimming with summer berries. "Somewhere along the south coast, perhaps."

something happens and i'm by brawlite | Stranger Things | Harringrove | 10k | Billy loves his job as at the Hawkins Community Pool. It's even better now that Steve Harrington's a lifeguard, too.

break up with your girlfriend ('cause i'm bored) by thecopperkid | Stranger Things | Harringrove | 15k |  @umissedconnections: Bambi eyes. m4m. i was rippin cigs in the sae p-lot. u made urself puke 2 make room 4 more beer. incredible? ur my hero PLS say ur into guys

I’m Gonna Keep You in Love with Me (for a While) by beethechange | Buzzfeed Unsolved | Ryan/Shane | 22k | “Okay,” Shane says finally. “Okay. Here’s what we’re going to do. We’re just going to—we’re going to be married. The only way out is through.”“Um,” Ryan says, because this plan strikes him as counterproductive to their shared goal of not being married.

YELLOW SQUARE by dejavu (suggcest) | Buzzfeed Unsolved | Ryan/Shane | 16k |  “Since being the scene of those two, grisly double homicides in the early 1950’s, the Bringle House Bed and Breakfast has sat empty, waiting for the next couple stupid enough to try to stay all four nights.”

darling it's a faded notion by varnes | Buzzfeed Unsolved | Ryan/Shane | 28k |  Ryan and Shane get cursed by a ghost, and now they can't be not-touching. It's ... not great.

Things That Go Bump in the Night (and 7 till 12 at weekends) by HoopyFrood | Buzzfeed Unsolved | Ryan/Shane | 4k | Shane works at a Haunted House. Ryan is Ryan. Things go about as well as you'd imagine.

Everything's Weird and We're Always in Danger by beethechange | Buzzfeed Unsolved | Ryan/Shane | 15k | “It won’t go away,” Ryan says miserably. “I’ve been like this since we got here, basically, and it won’t fucking—”

Muscles Better and Nerves More by beethechange | Buzzfeed Unsolved | Shane/Ryan | 26k | “I’m serious,” Ryan says. “Don’t go fucking up my body. I want that shit back in the same condition I left it.” 

DELIGHTFUL FANVIDS

January 

(Marvel) Avengers | True North 

A Sad Man With A Box

►Dance to 2018

Collab Parts (2016-2018)

just a machine? [Detroit: Become Human] *HBD Pteryx*

【Detroit｜Become Human】Way Down We Go

She-Ra AMV | I'm Just Your Problem (Catradora)

multifandom || 2018 (the way I remember it)

Detroit: Become Human || Paralyzed

in the end | connor & hank | detroit: become human

BELIEVER - Connor ( Detroit:Become Human ) GMV

who are you? | Connor | Detroit: Become Human

Detroit Become Human - Connor ~ Blood in the Water

Connor - I'm So Sorry by Imagine Dragons [Detroit: Become Human] GMV

» whatever it takes (connor; detroit become human gmv)

Detroit: Become Human / Connor and Hank / Uptown Funk

Would You Kill?| Connor RK800 [Detroit: Become Human]

Rude Boy | Connor | Detroit: Become Human

hold on | connor & hank | detroit: become human

Interstellar | STAY

sabrina spellman *:･ﾟ✧ [look what u made me do]

Stranger Things || Blood in the Water

February

(GoT) Margaery Tyrell || The Queen

Kingdom Hearts 3 EPIC AMV/GMV - Part of the Journey is the End

My Hero Academia AMV - The Greatest Show

Endgame | The Man Who Killed The Avengers

MARVEL || Not Today

March

Marvel/DC || FRICTION

Luke & Nell || There's no without

MARVEL || Blood On ME

What is a STORY?

TUA | Swallow Us

(SW) Obi-Wan Kenobi | Whispers of the Past

Quentin & Eliot || Beautiful nothing

queliot; peaches + plums

Way Down We Go | Red Dead Redemption 2

Marvel || Together

steve x bucky || answer

part to act on [Harry Potter]

April

marvel || supercharged

(Marvel) Avengers || The Big Three -- Iron Man/Thor /Captain America

Guardians of the Galaxy

CAOS || Welcome To The Jungle

Marvel || Rise or Fall

Avengers | Sacrifice [4K]

(Marvel) Tony Stark | I love you 3000

May

(Marvel) Captain America || I Stand Alone

(GoT) Daenerys Targaryen | See What I've Become

Ser Jaime Lannister

Arya & Sandor // Thank You [+8x05]

Kingdom hearts 3 |Dearly Beloved| AMV |

June

(GoT) Cersei Lannister || The Queen Of The Seven Kingdoms

(GoT) The Dragons || They're My Children

(GoT) Melisandre || A Champion Of Light And Life

Bioshock & Infinite - Never The End (Epic and Beautiful Fanmade Video)

Bioshock Infinite : Constants and Variables : Music video/Tribute

Crowley & Aziraphale ][ Don’t Stop Me Now || Good Omens

Crowley ][ Rebel Just For Kicks || Good Omens

i'm the bad guy | villanelle.

mission accomplished • connor RK800

The Haunting of Hill House || Empty hands

Mad World ✘ The Umbrella Academy

July

(GoT) Daenerys Targaryen || The Last Dragon

Steve Harrington [Burn The House Down]

max&eleven | my blood.

Billy Hargrove [Bury a Friend]

Max Mayfield [Rebel Just For Kicks]

billy hargrove | gasoline.

Stranger Things | Heroes

✥ STEVE HARRINGTON ✧･ﾟ: * HANDCLAP {+S3}

billy hargrove | lovely.

stranger things 3 | blood in the water.

Steve Harrington; I Need A Hero

Kilgrave ][ Bad Guy

billy&steve [harringrove] || a little death (+s3)

Avengers | Sacrifice [4K]

Stranger Things || Shelter

Kilgrave ][ Rule The World || Jessica Jones

Ben & Rey | What do you see?

Billy Hargrove - RIP to my YOUTH

a thing about life.

(SW) Obi-Wan Kenobi | Whispers of the Past

The Avengers | Unreachable Star

Steve Harrington || Another One Bites the Dust

DELIGHTFUL MUSIC

January

Dark Night - Kara | Philip Sheppard

Carousel - Kara | Phillip Sheppard

They All Look the Same - Connor | Nima Fakhrara

Curse of the I-5 Corridor | Neko Case

Way Down We Go | Kaleo

Gasoline | Halsey

Sleep All Summer | Neko Case

Hold On, Hold On | Neko Case

Dreaming at Daybreak | Ann Licater

Can’t Leave | Whiskey Charmers

Voodoo Mon Amour | Diablo Swing Orchestra

Undo - Transviolet

Xuanzang - Gareth Coker

Almost - Hozier

Movement - Hozier

Dancing in a Room - EZI

Snow Dancer - Antti Martikainen

Burned Out - Dodie

Epic (pt 2) - Anais Mitchell

Mercury - Honey and the Sting

February

Spanish Sahara - Foals

Obstacles - Syd Matters

If You Still Believe - SIE Sound Team

The Expanse - Through Juniper Vale

The Woods - San Fermin

Sophie - The Altogether

Tom Thumb - Bitter Ruin

Wolves of the Revolution - The Arcadian Wild

Mitchell: Epic III - Cast of Hadestown

Hamilton soundtrack

The Spine - Transistor soundtrack

Don’t Think Twice - Utada Hikaru

Face My Fears - Utada Hikaru

Take On Me - Hidden Citizens

Moonlight Sonata - Hidden Citizens

Waves - chloe moriondo

Alligator Teeth - Mother Falcon

We All Become - Darren Korb

Ashes - Bear McCreary

Journey and Transistor soundtracks

March

The Sailor Song - Autoheart

It’s Quiet Uptown - Kelly Clarkson

Fernando - Cher

Dinner & Diatribes - Hozier

The Fly By Night - Taktsugu Muramatsu

Wake Up, Moving On - Kevin Penkin

April

Austin Wintory Radio

Resurrections - Lena Raine

Fight For You - Hidden Citizens

Mine - BazziIn the Flame - Darren Korb

Paper Boats - Darren Korb

May

Thedas Love Them - Trevor Morris

The Dawn Will Come - Trevor Morris

King - Blue October

Lemonworld - Ocean Alley

Still Feel - Half Alive

Carry On - Kygo

Longshot - Catfish and the Bottlemen

Call Off Your Ghost - Dessa

Sucker - Jonas Brother

Power Over Me - Dermot Kennedy

A Hole In the Earth - Daughter

Lunatic Fringe - red Rider

June

Ummah Oum - Kaya Project

The Fortress - Kaya Project

Good Omens Opening Title - David Arnold

A Nightingale Sang In Berkeley Square - Tori Amos

A Future for the Krogan - Christopher Lennertz

Ганджу - brain tumor

last piece | Lykke Li

Bite - Charlie Cunningham

Wait For Me - Hadestown

Nightmare - Halsey

Kaya Project albums!!!

Birds - Imagine Dragons

Crazy - Patsy Cline

Can’t Help Falling in Love - Elvis Presley

in waves playlist

July

in waves playlist

Rime soundtrack

2017 soundtrack

bury a friend - billie eilish

bored - billie eilish

the seed - aurora

how do you - elderbrook

quicksand - x ambassadors

what’s up danger - blackway 

bad guy - billie eilish

sunflower - post malone

scared of the dark - lil wayne

elevate - dj khalil

be still, my tongue - snorri hallgrimsson

dark matter - les friction

must’ve been - chromeo

magnets - disclosure, lorde

secrets - the weeknd

feels like summer - childish gambino

the hunter’s mark - erutan

johanna in space - stephaen sondheim

POSTED FIC

January

N/A

February

children of dust and ash | Bartimaeus |  Bartimaeus/Kitty(/Nathaniel) | 1,801 words |  Kitty summons Bartimaeus on a chilly fall day in her thirty-eighth year. 

March

sweet music playing in the dark | DBH | 1,102 words | “I noticed some time ago that you seem to have an appreciation for jazz.” Connor pauses, his fingers hesitating over an old Billie Holiday album. “I’d wondered if that meant you enjoyed dancing as well.”

April

N/A

May

Radio Ga Ga | Stranger Things | Harringrove | 1,143 words | There’s always another party in Hawkins, Indiana. It would be almost boring if it weren’t for Steve Harrington.

June

Sunlight | Marvel | Loki/Thor | 765 words | They aren’t quite out of the solar system when Loki appears at the arm of Thor’s chair, hair shorn short and a furious snarl on his face. 

July

like the bough of a willow tree | Detroit Become Human | Hank/Connor | 1,214 words | There’s a human lost in his woods.

knocking on heaven's door | Stranger Things | Harringrove | 1,748 words | “Just, get in the fucking car. I’ll drive you home.” Billy looked at him, very seriously, and said, “What if I don’t want to go home?”

WIPS | UNPUBLISHED | ORIGINAL

January

like the bough of a willow tree | DBH | Hank/Connor | 1,286 words | There’s a human lost in his woods. Fae!Connor   

hankcon valentine’s exchange fic | DBH | Hank/Connor | 985 words | slow dancing and kisses in the dark basically

February

N/A

March

N/A

April

Sunlight | Avengers | Loki/Thor | 746 words |  They aren’t quite out of the solar system when Loki appears at the arm of Thor’s chair, hair shorn short and a furious snarl on his face.

May

N/A

June

Untitled Original | Ghost + rain | 817 words

July

Reverse BB | 5.6k

FANMIXES/GRAPHICS

January

N/A

February

N/A

March

June

in waves playlist

[attackingstarfish]

Just finished LoZ: Wind Waker...

I normally never post, but I recently wrapped up Wind Waker HD (Yes, I’m late to the party), and it is so far removed from the usual Zelda fare that I just had to compile my thoughts. And if I’m compiling my thoughts, I might as well yell them into the void.

You will have to show me physical proof that Wind Waker is not Ocarina of Time from the Opposite Dimension, where windows are the primary means of entering your house and people worship at the altar of Hello Games, because despite me being almost exactly as satisfied with Wind Waker HD as I was with Ocarina of Time 3D, the greatest sources of joy are flipped with the biggest annoyances between the two games.

Yay!

Breath of the Wild had won me over in part because the entire world felt cohesive; you could go anywhere on the map without having to encounter a single loading screen, and I had no idea Wind Waker did the same thing. The Great Sea is a vast trove of trees, pirates, and treasure, with the occasional giant squid attack or salutation from the Flying Dutchman. Each of the 49 segments contains an island that is often unique in purpose, and you’re very rarely sent to a specific island for a specific item by a specific character. Instead, the entire overworld becomes open to you as soon as you grab your sail on Windfall Island, and you have a literal sea of knowledge before you as the 49 fish that serve as your guidebook to the game take their places.

A couple of islands start off closed, unable to be reached until you get the Iron Boots or the Bow or the Hulk Hogan suplex manual, but that’s it as far as what you can’t reach, and the squares of ocean containing even these islands can be reached as early as any other zone, fish and all. The fish are easy to spot, splashing around near their respective region’s landmass, and to reward taking to initiative to explore, a surprising amount of what they tell you can be put to use immediately, like the location of the all-new extra-fast wind-changing sail the remake’s added to speed up travel. Good thing, too, because there’s a point where travel time stops being buildup and becomes padding, especially when you have to dance a round of Hands Up every time you want to change direction. Later in the game, when you’re better equipped, you could stop by one of those islands you couldn’t figure out earlier on, and figure out what to do with just one more trip around the border. Nothing pops up on your map to indicate that suddenly you’re able to access anything new, and your boat doesn’t  wonder whether the eastmost pillar on island A7 has met any nice hookshot targets lately. The game trusts that you can navigate the uses for your gear yourself, which I value. Fewer tutorials, more expectations.

Even the story serves the game’s hands-off attitude. Ocarina starts with Link going into the Deku Tree to purge it of some unspecified evil (What exactly does Gohma do in there, anyway?) before coming out to be told of his fate to kill a man he has never met before and become Hyrule’s savior. Link takes up the mantle in that game only because the gods who have not and will never make a proper appearance want him to do it. Meanwhile, Wind Waker opens with Link putting on the green tunic to make his grandmother happy for a day, right before his sister, who clearly adores him, gets kidnapped by a giant bird, and he teams up with pirates to sneak into a fortress and rescue her but instead gets bitch-slapped by Ganondorf, who turns out to own the place and the bird. In addition to being awesome because pirates kick ass, Link’s introduction to the man who wants him dead feels a lot more natural here, and Ganondorf doesn’t even come into the plot for real until the second half of the game. Link’s got a sister to save, and everything he’ll do to accomplish that goal will demonstrate him to be worthy of the Master Sword, which itself seems to prefer this organic sort of journey, seeing as the Link who set out to get the Master Sword from the beginning ended up locked in solitary confinement by the thing while it allowed the man it was created to kill to instead take over the world. Evidently the Master Sword is a strong, independent blade beholden to no one who can’t think for themselves, and anyone who disagrees can spend some quality time with the nice old man who loves to talk and talk and talk and talk.

The characters in Wind Waker feel more on the dynamic side than Ocarina’s. At first I was a bit surprised that i felt that way considering Ocarina had you view two very different versions of Hyrule, but Ocarina’s characters either don’t change in personality much between time periods or don’t make an appearance in one of the two at all. Talon’s still lazy in the future, the carpenters are still idiots, the Lake Hylia scientist is still mad, the Kokiri of course don’t change at all, you see none of the Zoras after their caves are frozen over, etc. Not to mention Ganondorf, who doesn’t get much beyond “evil Gerudo thief king who wants to take over the world because of reasons,” even if he gets a bit further than many movie/game villains and is able to demonstrate exactly what he’d do while in charge and why he’s so dangerous. Wind Waker, meanwhile, has even a fair few one-off characters with their own tiny arcs. Mila goes from stuck-up rich kid to poor as dirt and struggling to adapt, so out of her element that she resorts to stealing money from her new boss until Link catches her and helps her stay true to herself in the future. Maggie’s father starts out so desperate for Link to save his daughter that he will annoyingly stop you in your tracks every time he so much as glimpses you and repeat his pleas for help, but after Maggie is returned home and he strikes it rich through no deed of his own, he decides everyone else is beneath him and starts bitching at Link, the Rito postman, and anyone who thinks repeatedly boasting about your own fabulous wealth makes for poor dinner conversation. Even Ganondorf himself is given more than a simple desire to take over Hyrule this time around, as his belief that the rest of the kingdom deserves to suffer the way the Gerudo suffered in the desert is brought to light. 

Boo!

Part of the reason I liked the dungeons in Ocarina of Time so much is that they had a way of coming full circle at the end, or even a smaller full circle in the middle. You’d come across something at the beginning, go “Huh, that looks cool,” then move on. An hour later, BOOM, payoff, and likely in a way you didn’t even expect. The web serving as the floor in the Deku Tree and the blue stone head at the back of Dodongo’s Cavern come to mind. Plus, there were often open rooms that allowed you to get a handle on where everything else was relative to you, and gaze upon areas you’ll visit once you find the Hookshot or Hover Boots. Wind Waker’s dungeons are the antithesis of the rest of the game, they’re cramped and, for the first half of the game, overly linear. Dragon Roost never musters up much more challenge than “kill enemy in front of you, go through door in front of you, repeat,” a far cry from the wall-climbing around the first half of the Deku Tree. Re-hydrating the bombs to get into the place is arguably as clever as you get with it, which for me is the perfect representation of the amount of thought that went into everything surrounding the dungeons vs. the amount of thought that went into the dungeons. And aside from those spinning leaf wheels in Forbidden Woods that wouldn’t know what a wind was if they were fired for incompetence and forced to spend the rest of their lives at its mercy, this is best illustrated during the teamwork-based dungeons with Medli and Makar toward the end of the game .

Considering how often you have to switch between characters to set up a Mirror Shield reflect or to hit a switch or to plant a seed or because you got hit fucking once, it would’ve been nice not to have to do half the Macarena every time you want to switch to your companion’s viewpoint. It also would’ve been nice if the controls of your partners didn’t make me want to offer them to the Floormasters. That said, Medli wasn’t awful. Yes, her flight was a bit hard to direct, there was no way to halt her Link-bearing glide without throwing her, and the number of times you had to hop on the Wind Waker was a pain, but the irritation was diminished when lot of her roles involved standing still and shining light while you played as the character the game actually put work into handling. Plus, my wave of enthusiasm from the first moment I walked under a spotlight while carrying her and saw the light reflect lasted me quite a ways into the dungeon, so my memories of the Earth Temple are okay enough.

On the other hand, Makar. (I still call him Oaki, which should indicate how memorable Makar’s character is) When flying with Medli, all that was required was good aim when leaping off any ledge you were leaving, whether she was on her own or supporting Link. Makar has to fly in patterns more complex than straight lines, so naturally his controls are twice as stupid. You have to repeatedly press A to fly, speeding up or slowing down your button presses to increase or decrease the amount of lift as you go. Button mashing as a recurring mechanic, yay. Its imprecise nature becomes worse when the vertical nature of the dungeon’s biggest room has Makar rack up a ton of momentum from the amount of rising and falling he’ll be doing, leaving you struggling to adjust your frequency to keep up, with aerial endurance that makes you wonder how the Korok seed-spreading ritual has not led them to extinction by mass drowning. Fortunately, there’s a giant fan you can activate at the bottom of the room to blow yourself upward and kill any chance you have at forward progress. You’d think that being able to coast to the top of everything would be a good thing, but being in the fan’s range of “anywhere” causes Makar to eschew any direction that isn’t straight up (as his flight meter drains!), when running out of flight power has the same effect but downwards. If that wind catches you while you’re trying to cross the room, you’re left to watch as Makar is frozen in place while his energy drains to zero, wait for the fan to stop, fall several stories to the bottom of the room, and walk about two feet toward where you want to go before the fan activates again and restarts the cycle. And that’s assuming one of the many flying enemies doesn’t brush Makar and throw the camera back behind a Link who’s attempting to keep calm by doing the wave.

The combat took some getting used to. Ocarina’s combat was fine; it was easy to tell what you were in range to hit, and timing your swings properly could get shield-wielding enemies like Stalfos in a loop where continually accurate shots would finish them in seconds. In Wind Waker, Link’s attacks don’t reach quite as far as his sword would indicate; you’d think the gods would make sure their magical evil-smiting blade is most capable at the end that goes in the King of Evil, but I guess not. “Just The Tip” is a no-no with these monsters, so it’s either impale them in full or let them dominate you.

Meanwhile, you have two options for your targeting system, and they both suck. You either hold down L as long as you want to keep an enemy targeted, which before long will cause your left index finger to rebel against its draconian master, or press the button once to start targeting and press it again to target a different enemy, leaving you with no way to stop targeting the enemies and put an arrow in the switch. This wasn’t that big a deal in Ocarina, since Link had a wider vertical range with the bow and there were never many enemies hounding you  when there was another immediate objective to complete, but in Wind Waker, you can expect a rainbow of respawning Chu’s to ambush you around the clock. It sours a lot of dungeons and dungeon-themed areas for me. That’s why the Wind Waker experience was so surprising; the dungeons were a slog to get through and felt less like a collection of clever puzzle ideas suiting each region’s theme and more like an obligation to throw in because it’s Zelda, yet everything surrounding them felt engaging and intriguing enough to make me want to keep playing and find out what happened to everyone.

(Tower of the Gods was pretty cool, too.)

[captainschmoe]

I Will Survive [Beta] - Chapter 13: Shut the Fuck Up

[A/N: This is one of those chapters where a completely off-the-wall idea popped into my head, and I’m like, “I have to add that. I can’t not add that now that that thought exists.”]

[Summary: In which Sean talks to Mark and then a whole bunch of mood whiplash happens.]

[Previous] [Next]

Knock knock knock.

Sudden silence.

“Mark?”

“Huh?” There was a strong sense of shock in his voice. “Who’s there?”

“What, did you forget my voice already?” Sean opened the door. “Hey, man. It’s me- whoa.” This room was way tinier than the others - in other words, fairly standard for the real world - and so pretty. It was an ocean vista. Bamboo floors and walls, save for the back wall, which opened out to the right and vibrant blues and whites of the sea and midday sky. It even made the sounds of beach life - the ebb and flow of the waves, the calls of seagulls overhead - and yet it didn’t produce the crisp sea breeze, emphasizing the staleness of the indoors Sean hadn’t noticed before that point. He even wondered if it was even a real opening, and not just a really HD projection.

Bamboo cabinets and dressers lined the walls, and in the middle of the room was a single, creaky hammock. And on that lay Mark, face pink and puffy, shaggy hair dangling in his eyes and damp at the tips, arm bandage crusted over with heaping amounts of dried, brown blood. Not at all refreshed from what this room could have potentially been. He sat upright, propping himself on his good arm and resting the bad arm across his lap. His hand looked limp. How much muscle did Anti bite off?

“You okay, buddy?”

“I started thinking you were never gonna show up again.” His voice cracked a bit.

“And I thought the fake you was the real you right up until I got sent here.”

“He puppeted me good, huh...” Mark rubbed his eyes.

“No, he didn’t. I was just a fucking idiot. Looking back on it now-”

“Well, obviously, now that you know, of course it’s gonna make you feel stupid, but it’s fine. It’s fine, everyone else thought it was me, too. Don’t worry about it.”

He sure said that a lot, didn’t he?

“I saw what happened to Ethan,” Sean said. “And I know you’ve already been having a super-rough time of it here, to put it mildly. So I just... wanted to check and see if you were all right.”

Mark sighed, disappointed. He gazed off into the deep blue. “You know, it wasn’t even Ethan that got me.”

Sean was confused. “It wasn’t?”

"No.” Mark turned back to him. “You want to know what I just randomly realized?”

“What’s that?”

“I just...” Sean could practically feel the tears coming back to stain Mark’s face again. “When I was in the clinic, and I saw Ethan... And I saw Amy and Tyler and Kathryn all together, in that r-room... It made me think, th-they’re all down here...” He started shaking so much the hammock posts creaked a bit. “...so that means none- o one’s up in the real world to- to take care of Ch-” He doubled over, hand covering his mouth.

“Oh... I know, I understand.” Chica. God, he loves that dog as if she were his human child.

“And- and on the one hand, like, why did I not think about that earlier?” His voice cracked and squeaked even more. He was almost yelling, as if to force the intermittence away. “Like, why did it take me so long to realize that? I feel so bad for just completely forgetting about her like that. But, but on the other hand, on top of that, why is that the thing that got me? Like, why is it that none of all these human relationships I have, and what’s happening to them, made me get this upset, but the dog did?”

“Mark, that’s normal. You just let it all build up all this time and you hit a breaking point.”

“I know, I just...” Pause. He turned quiet. “I thought I could help.”

Oh, boy. Here it comes.

“I thought I could be someone that people could turn to if they were feeling scared.”

“You thought you could be a hero?”

Mark flinched.

“Signe told me Anti said that, and that you could never be one?”

“Yeah... and I think I see where he’s coming from.”

“Mark, no.”

“I mean...” He shifted and crossed his legs, and swallowed to clear his throat. “That’s all I’ve been trying to do this whole time, is be some kind of positive force that would help keep everyone from falling into total despair and to keep fighting until you showed up. But, like... time just kept going on and on and on and so many more people - our friends, our fans, random strangers - they just kept coming and they just kept waiting, and I think they were starting to catch on that maybe I was full of shit.”

“Mark, stop. What do we always tell you?”

“About what?”

“About doing this to yourself. This...” Sean gestured to his whole body. “This whole degrading-yourself thing.”

“It’s not degrading myself. It’s just giving myself an asskicking.”

“Well, you don’t need an asskicking right now. If you did, trust us; we’d do it for you. You’re not full of shit; you’re full of... normal human emotions.”

It was clear to Sean that Mark wasn’t really absorbing what he was saying.

“Why do you think you need an asskicking for being human? Why do you think you’re overreacting to the thing about Chica? Why do you need to make things so much harder for yourself than they need to be?”

Mark calmed himself with a yogic breath, rubbed his eyes again, and went into his soft, deep voice. “I have two goals in life: to be the best friend I can be to others, and to make myself proud. Those goals are so much more important now than ever before. And I realize now that I’ve completely failed in that regard.”

Sean stared at Mark for a few seconds. He stepped up closer to him, in good range, and turned him by the shoulder. “Mark, look at me.”

“Huh?”

Slap.

The ringing silence practically drowned out the rumble of the waves. The stillness, untouched even by Mark’s breathing. He hadn’t cringed back from it. Hadn’t even grunted or yelped in pain or anything.

He finally spoke: “I guess I deserved that, didn’t I.”

“That wasn’t so much to punish you for anything,” Sean clarified, “as it was to help reset your brain a bit. Your mind’s in a bad spot right now and I can’t have that when I need your help.”

“Help with what?”

“I’m going to be piecing together information about Anti and this world. I’ve already got ideas circulating around just from hearing Signe’s summary of what’s been going on. And I need your help to do that, but I need you to stop being... stop being you for a moment. Know what I mean? Mark, look at me.” Sean tilted his downward-drifting head back up. “If there’s any time where you absolutely need to kick this habit of being this hard on yourself, this is that time.”

Mark nodded, but suddenly caught sight of something behind Sean, scrunching up his face in confusion. “The hell is that?”

Sean looked at the spot next to the door, seeing a mass of bright colors coming through from underneath it. A swirling, seemingly magical, mist of red, green, and blue swimming and darting through the air towards them. Just like how Anti moved around. But Anti’s mist was black and green. That couldn’t be him. Right?

The mist solidified into a white eyeball - a Sam!? - with those same colors patterned over its body. Marvin-themed?

“Sam?” Sean asked. Aw. It was actually really cute.

“The hell? Where’d that thing come from?”

“Hey, don’t talk about my little Sammie boy that way!” But it was a good question.

The Sam looked rather nervous, twisting and turning itself around as if searching for something. It dissolved into the mist again, flying and landing atop the hammock, re-forming itself next to Mark’s thigh.

“You, uh, you looking for somethi- aiiii-yi-yi...”

Sam darted up the leg of Mark’s shorts, making him squirm.

“Ahahahaha!”

“What- What are you doing. Why. Why. Why are you doing that.” He frantically started kicking, to no avail. Standing up didn’t help, either, only making the hammock tip Mark onto the floor - and making the traveling bulge more awkwardly apparent when he did eventually, successfully, get back on his feet.

“Oh, my fucking God...” Sean started coughing, he was laughing so much. What the absolute fuck was it doing?

“Ohhh, God, it tickles. Jack, make it stop. Jack!”

“Wha- How? How. What do you expect me to do, Mark? Reach into your pants and pull it out?”

“It’s out of control, Jack! I figure: it belongs to you, maybe you can get it back in control!”

“Get it out yours-”

Grrrowl!

Slam.

Any remaining laughter in Sean’s belly was obliterated as Anti burst through the door. Both of them froze perfectly still as Anti, beads of blackness momentarily floating from his body like the dots from the ghosts, stared them down from the doorway. Hunched over like an ape, arms dangling by his sides, eyes black and beady, hands with long, lightly-curved claws waiting to sink themselves into someone’s flesh or eyes, knife sheathed through his belt at the hip.

“Hello, y̷̧͜o̷͠u ͢t̵wó̶.” The last remaining dots disappeared, and Anti straightened himself out, a little more like a normal human, with normal white sclerae. He pulled the knife from his belt, giving it a quick twirl between his fingers, and slowly advanced towards them, body swaying as he did so. “I thought I heard your r҉aùc̵ou̴s ͘l̶au͝ght͝e͡r in here.”

“Hey, Anti.” Sean stepped forward, slightly in front of Mark, mimicking Anti’s laid-back posture. “Whatcha doing here?”

“Looking for a little S̢̢a̡̨m͝ flying around the place. I know he’s įn͠ t͏h̛is̛ ̷h͡o̡u͡sę somewhere.” Anti’s voice was somewhat more distorted than Sean remembered from last time.

“No idea what you’re talking about.”

Anti raised an eyebrow. “ S̸a̶m? You know who Sa̢m is, right?” A few of his words sounded like they were getting “jammed” somehow.

“Of course I fucking know who Sam is, but no, I have not seen a Sam anywhere.” Sean made use of his head shaking and natural conversational movements to sneak a peek at Mark’s face, checking to see if he was accidentally giving away Sam’s location. His face was as straight as could be. Guess Sam had settled down and stopped wriggling. He couldn’t tell if it made a visible bulge, and for multiple reasons, Sean wasn’t about to look too closely to find out.

“Let me clarify.” Anti bolted for Sean, grabbing and body-slamming him to the floor, pinning him face-up - and Sean felt that immense pressure once again keeping him from moving. One clawed hand clasped his throat, choking and poking him. Anti’s hot breath seared his face. Sean’s nerves became jittery, his breathing rapid and shallow and needing more effort. “I saw S͘a͢m come down this corridor. Whȩre͟ di̕d h̢e ̴go, S͟ea͜n? I know he’s at̢t͘ách͞ed to us. I know he’d wa͡nt̷ ͡t̕o͞ find͡ ҉y̡ou.”

Sean couldn’t think of an answer. Even if he could, he couldn’t think of a good lie. Something in his gut told him he needed to keep Sam safe at all costs.

“W͜h͝͡e̕r͘͝è̛͟ ̸i͜s͠ ̢h̕͡e͠?͏͘” Anti’s hand crushed Sean’s throat, and his nails dug in further. On instinct, Sean’s arms tried to shove him off, and his legs flailed. All he got for his efforts was a knee slamming down on his groin. “Ơne ̶way ͜or ͠a̵n͠oth- You fuck off!”

Anti released him - oh, sweet air! - and turned around to slash at Mark’s face. “I’m sure you’d l̀o̵ve̡ ͝t͠o͢ p̢lay hero again, wouldn’t you? Did you le͠a̧r͝ņ n͟o͞th̸įn̨g͟ from last time?”

Without Anti paying attention to him, Sean looked to where Sam should have been. Didn’t even look like Mark was hiding anything extra in there. Weird and awkward, but at least it seemed to work. At least he didn’t have to worry about Anti finding him.

He... didn’t really want to think too deeply into how it might have been working.

“I learned that you have this fascination with attacking me and no one else,” Mark said. Four dripping red streaks crossed his cheek. The nightmare. “What did I ever do to you, anyway? You ever gonna answer that for me, buddy?”

“The Dark vs. Anti thing,” Sean said, remembering the texts with the fake Mark. He sat up, feeling too dizzy to stand, and needing to use his arm for balance.

“What?” Mark’s tone suggested confusion rather than surprise. Like it made no sense to him. “No, no, no-”

“Anti literally said to me that the reason he attacked you and me first was because of the Dark vs. Anti thing.”

Anti merely watched the verbal tennis happening between them. Sean swore he saw the faintest of smiles creeping across his face, like he knew something they didn’t - except, unbeknownst to him, they’d already figured it out. Sean kind of wanted to play this mind game with him for a bit; maybe it would make him feel cockily confident enough to leave them alone with their own supposed ignorance. Now if only he could telepathically communicate to Mark his plan, or hope and pray that he would catch on.

“But literally none of the other people who were in that video are down here, and we’re pretty sure none of my egos exist.”

Goddammit.

Whatever smile might have been trying to come onto Anti’s face was immediately flattened. He definitely thought they hadn’t caught on. Yet.

“Unless he needs those people up in the real world, I guess?” Mark added. “I don’t know.”

Sean tried to subtly tell him what he was trying to accomplish here. “Hey, Anti, it’s nice that you’re just standing there letting us try and figure out why you’re doing what you’re doing right in front of you.”

Anti scoffed. “Yòu'̵re ̨l̸ucky I’m not ŗip̛ping͟ y̕ou͡ t͢wò áp̶a̸rt.” His voice grew in pitch and volume. “You have no͘ ҉i̵d͘ęa how i͢nf͜u͢ria҉tinǵ it is that I ͢c͞a͠n'͞t͞ d̷o̸ that!” The knife slashed the air, creating an audible whoosh.

“What’s stopping you?” Mark asked.

“Don’t antagonize him!”

“...The fact that I'l̷l͞ ̷nev́e͟r ͏g̶et͡ w͘h̕a҉t͞ ͘I͘ ̷w͢a̛nt if I do.” Anti gazed down at the knife, holding each end in each hand, sighing. He rubbed his thumb along the edge of the blade, hard enough to cut it and cover it in blood, which he smeared between his fingers. His whole body swayed; his feet carried him in small, irregular shapes across the floor between them, always in constant motion.

Mark looked to Sean, baffled at the sudden shift, pointing to Anti while he wasn’t looking at him, and mouthed What’s his deal?

And when Anti’s fidgeting turned him back around, Sean shrugged and answered, I don’t know.

“Oǹe o̢f ̶thes̕e̴ ̧d͘a̛ys̸...͝” Anti muttered. He scanned the room. The mostly empty room, save for the hammock, which obviously held no secrets. He checked around, violently flinging open all the cabinet doors and dresser drawers - one so hard, he actually lost his grip on his knife, which he retrieved in a split second, sheathing it back in his belt to prevent it from happening again. Sean and Mark silently let him search for Sam. It was more fascinating than anything, seeing him this distraught and calm, and trusting of the fact that neither of them would take the opportunity to get the jump on him while he had his back turned, despite the injuries he’d inflicted on them and their friends. Knowing the truth about his motive, Sean’s heart panged with profound sorrow. Anti was a facet of himself, technically, as much as Jackieboy Man and Chase Brody and Dr. Schneeplestein and Marvin the Magnificent, all of whom he envisioned had perfectly good hearts and the capacity to lead happy lives, even with their personal struggles. Then again, he did say to himself that Anti had a good heart, too, right? He kind of joked when he said that. But... he wanted it to be true. And if he wanted it to be true, given the nature of who Anti was, could he will it into truth? Did he have the power to make Anti happy?

He sure hoped so.

With everything opened, Anti gave up, leaning on the last dresser, head hanging. “I guess there ŗea͟l͡ly̸ is̕n͝'t͠ ̵a͡n͡yw̛h͟ere else͠ to hide in here, isn’t there?” He let out a small whine, and straightened himself out. “I still want to r̨i̛p̡ y̶ou͠ ̕two ͟àp̕a͏rt͡.”

“We love you, too, Anti,” Mark joked.

Growl.

“By the way, have you lost weight or something?”

“Shut up!” A pulse emanated from his body, and he snarled in response to it. “F͟u̸̡c̢k͢͠ ̵̷̢m̢e̶͡͠!̡́ I͝ c̴an'̢t́ ge̕t ̕ánything̸ ͘do̧ne around here!” He made a move for the door, then shuffled back a step. The way he was twitching in place, and throwing glances between the door and the two of them, it suggested that he didn’t really know where he should go next. Eventually, he decided the door, throwing his fists downward and grunting in a childlike fit, dissolving into the mist, and disappearing underneath the door. They waited several seconds, engulfed by the sounds of the ocean “outside.”

Was he really gone? Sean tried to stand up, feeling a wave of lightheadedness as he did so. The sharp pains in his groin were gradually converting to more-bearable aches.

“Here.” Mark held out his hand to help him up. Sean took it, holding on for dear life as the dizzy spell intensified, and only let go when he grabbed hold of the hammock post. “You okay?”

“Yeah, I just need a few.” Already he was starting to recover, at least from the lightheadedness. “Also, the fuck was that last thing you said to him?”

“I know it sounded like the dumbest joke I could’ve cracked, but I swear he actually looked skinnier than the last couple times I saw him. And good God, your throat is bruising.” He brushed a couple fingers over his Adam’s apple.

“Really?”

“Yeah, you’ve got some serious pink going on there.”

“No, I mean: really, Anti looked skinnier?”

“Oh, yeah, like his pants fit looser, stuff like that. Did you get the sense that he’s been getting a lot weaker in general?”

“I don’t know, I’ve only just met him in person for the first time, like, a couple hours ago.”

“Oh, yeah, duh. I knew that.” He laughed a little. “But yeah, I remember the first time I met him...”

Sean’s ears perked up at the new info.

“...he was, like, lightning fast, faster than he was here. Like, speed of light, it was crazy. He could grab me and lift me up with no effort whatsoever. He could pin me to the ground without even touching me. All he had to do was stand near me, and then I felt that- that pressure, you know what I’m talking about?”

Sean nodded. Of course.

“Just standing near me, that pressure would cause my knees to just buckle underneath me. And...” He lifted his bad arm, by the shoulder rather than the elbow. Must not have been able to move his forearm very well. “I’m sure Signe told you about this bullshit that happened the second time I saw him?”

“She sure did.” Ew. He could see the indentation in his arm where the flesh was ripped out. The bandage was turning an old brownish color. “Probably should change that soon.”

“I know I should, but I hate it though, ‘cause it itches so bad. Oh, great, now I’m thinking about it.” Mark resisted the urge to scratch it, sharply putting his arm back down by his side. “But anyway, Anti just seemed more... human this time around? You know what I mean?”

“I think so, yeah.”

“Yeee...” Mark started to squirm again. “Ho, boy, he ’s a-wrigglin’.”

Sam wormed his way to the bottom of Mark’s shorts, flopping down onto the floor.

“Oh, ew! Now I feel all slimy in bad places. As if it weren’t bad enough having him pressed firmly and uncomfortably up against my balls for several terrifying minutes.”

“I... didn’t need to know that.” Wait. “Oh, God, don’t tell me he was inside your underwear, too.”

“Nah, he wasn’t.”

“Okay, good. I was gonna say.” Sean looked down at Sam - tendril whipping around like a cat’s tail - with narrowed eyes. “Are you proud of yourself? You look proud of yourself for causing this conversation to exist.”

Sam didn’t give an answer, only bouncing towards the door. He bumped against it a couple times, looked back at Sean, and bumped it again.

“You want me to open it?” Sean quietly, carefully did as Sam directed. Not too much so - didn’t want to look too suspicious just in case Anti was merely hiding in ambush. Where did he go, anyway, if he wasn’t? For someone so hell-bent on trying to find Sam, he sure gave up pretty quick.

“Coast is clear,” Sean said after scanning the walls and ceiling. “We should probably head back to the top side soon.” He looked back to Mark, who seemed a bit out of it. “You, uh, you okay?”

“Huh?”

“You okay? Like, mental-wise and...” He touched near the scratches on his face. The blood had started to congeal, the thinner streaks crusting over. Were it not for that nightmare Sean had, he might have called it badass.

“Yeah, I’m fine.”

“You’re not just saying that to...?”

Mark opened his mouth to say something, but seeing Sean’s face, he simply sighed instead. “I’m sorry, I just kinda impulsively said that.”

Sean was so disappointed. Not even annoyed with him anymore. Just... like a disappointed father. “Why do you keep saying you’re fine when you’re not?”

“I guess I just don’t want to...” His hand groped the air, searching for the right word.

“Bother people?”

“Kind of? But, also, like... Mainly, I just don’t like when people worry about me. I don’t know why.”

“Most of why we worry so much is because you keep telling us everything’s fine when we can just sense that it’s not. And I, for one, have a very keen sense of how other people are feeling,” Sean said firmly. “You’re just bottling up everything until it causes you to burst. And this, especially...” Sean’s hand motioned around the corridor. “...is not the fucking place or time for that shit.”

Mark’s gaze drifted to the floor. To Sam.

"Listen.” Sean leaned in a little closer. “Don’t take this as me suddenly hating you or anything.”

“No, no, I didn’t figure that was it.”

“I mean, it’s not like I haven’t done stupid shit myself these past few days.”

“You mean thinking Anti was me? I mean, even Amy told me she didn’t know until it was too late, so don’t feel bad.”

“You know what he said that really bugs me, though?” Sean started slowly walking down the corridor towards the balcony, Mark and Sam following.

“What’s that?”

“I quote, ‘Some people don’t deserve redemption.’”

“Yeesh.”

“That alone should have been the thing that screamed to me, ‘That’s not the Mark we all came to know and love!’ That is the single most un-Mark thing you could’ve said.”

“Sean.” Mark clasped his good hand onto his shoulder, stopping their feet. “If you can forgive me for being an idiot down here, I can forgive you for being an idiot up there. That’s all we are. Is idiots.”

Sean couldn’t help but chuckle at that. “All we’re known for being...”

“Exactly. Now don’t be a hypocrite and tell me not to kick myself in the ass and then turn around and do it to yourself.”

“Okay, but you also have to promise that you’ll look after yourself as much as you look out for others.”

“You sure you want good ol’ Markiplier to make a promise on that one?” he asked with a smirk.

Sean wasn’t amused.

“How about this: can we shake on it?” He extended his right hand - the bad one. It was painfully obvious that he had little use for that hand anymore.

“Can you even move that hand properly?”

“No. Anti took out enough of the muscle that I can’t really move my wrist or thumb much.”

Sean took the hand, anyway, frowning when he felt the weakness. Especially jarring coming from this guy. “Feels weird shaking a limp hand. You know what? How about this instead?” He went in for a hug. It seemed to catch Mark by surprise, judging by the initial freezing before returning it.

“Okay, that works, too, I guess.” Mark gave him a soft pat and rub on the back. Felt nice.

“We good?”

Nod. “We’re good.”

Sean withdrew from the hug as he felt Sam bumping into the side of his shoe. Hmm. “Just in case Anti comes back, shouldn’t we hide Sam somewhere? Somewhere other than your pants?” he remembered to add.

Mark looked down at Sam and shrugged. “The playroom, maybe?” He pointed to the pair of doors they’d just passed, the one next to the vista. “Could camouflage himself pretty well in the ball pit.”

Sean’s jaw dropped. “There’s a motherfuckin’ ball pit?”

“Yeah, there’s a ball pit.”

“Going there now!” Sean made a mad dash for the doors Mark had pointed at, throwing them open. “Holy shit!” he screamed as he took in the new room, laughing. “This is fucking amazing!” Tube slides! Trampolines! Tree houses with suspension bridges! Obstacle course around the edge! Ball pit! And all of it brightly colored and big enough for a kid his age to romp around in! Never in his wildest dreams could Sean have imagined a pocket of unbridled childhood delight to exist in this world.

Sam was eager to play, too, diving straight into the pit, and swimming through the balls. The sight and sound absolutely tickled Sean, and that was before Sam popped back up and looked at him with a little shimmy in his body. Instant heart melt.

“Aw-ha-ha... He’s so fucking adorable!”

“Well.” Jack momentarily uncovered his eye and clicked his tongue. “That happened.”

“What did you see?” Chase asked like an excited young boy.

Jack just shook his head. “Don’t... Don’t fucking ask me that right now. But, good news: Sean is in this world.”

“He is? Yes!” Chase yelled with a fist pump. “Now Sam just has to lead him back to us, right? And we’re good to go!”

“Right!” Jack covered his eye again. “Hopefully they can find a better hiding spot for him.”

“Tsch.” Jackieboy let out the tiniest, snarky laugh. “What did you see, Jack?”

“What? No!”

“What, yes. D͜o̕n'͏t ͝m̛ind͝ m̕e͝.̢ I won’t shake things up too much. I’ll just be sitting here, pa͘ti̢en̸t̷ly͜ wa҉iti̵ng̛, just as you are.”

[realmotionxi-blog]

Kanye West - The Lyrical Genius - Biography Full HD 2018

Kanye West - The Lyrical Genius - Biography Full HD 2018 I got ta follow with these rappers, but you know I'm your favorite, but I'm not safe mmm. But that's why love me when someone comes up and says something like I am a god everybody says who does he think he is just told you who I thought I was? Oh God imma. Let you finish, but Beyonce had one of the best videos of all time, and I immediately knew in this situation that it was wrong. I got the answers. You ain't even doing education.   Y'All Had me scared of myself of my vision. Do do you feel down being free and I'm thinking your own, take no follow. Okay, Tania Omari West was born on June, 8th 1977 to a middle-class family in Atlanta, Georgia. His father Ray was a photojournalist for the Atlanta Journal newspaper and he was politically active within the Black Panther movement and he later became a Christian counselor. Kenya'S mother, dr. Don de West, was an English teacher at Clark, Atlanta University, and she was offered a similar position elsewhere, which meant young Connie was moving to Chicago Chicago. So that's what it is that I should cancel from Chicago and very sincere. They got a heart like that, but when they don't give a fuck about what everybody is saying small, this is from the heart. By the time, Kanye was three: his parents had divorced amicably and his mother are called that by the age of five. He was. Writing. Poetry, we were coming back from a short vacation in Michigan when he was 5. He composed a poem in the backseat. The one line that sticks with me is the trees are melting, black, it was late fall and the trees had no leaves he saw how those limbs were etched against the sky and he described them the way a port would, when he was 10 Kanye would go With his mother to China for a year as she had entered into a teaching exchange program with Nanjing University, we know now that Kanye is someone who's, always wanting to change and evolve into grow as a person and having him raised by a mother who was an Educator she was like petrol into a car and taken him somewhere like China and taking a risk and doing something completely different, which no one would ever expect. That happened set a precedent that he would continue fro his life by the third grade. He was rapping by the seventh grade. He was making peace, he co-wrote a song called green eggs and ham, and he even got his mother Donder to pay 25 dollars for an hour's. With the studio work lately record, it cheers doctor good mama ward. Now this is something that Kenya said on his childhood in Chicago you're, going to do one of three things: you're, either gon na be sports, straight basketball or football or you're gon na be in the hip-hop, like really focus on hip-hop and the culture. Oh you're gon na be gangbangers. You may be doing all of this on gangbang and at the same time, because 99 % of people in Chicago is gone. London by the seventh grade, kanya told his PA each other, I'm not coming in next semester. I'M gon na be signed to a record label. You could just imagine him sitting kanye started taking things more seriously at 14, when his dad got him a Korg keyboard, but his mother still forced him to work to earn money. I found myself just wanting to work on that keyboard. All the time I found myself running home from school. Could I have an idea like looking at the clock, meaning that two-thirds I beat down now if you're a Kanye West fan at this point, the story should become more familiar because Kanye would meet the producer known as no ID as it happens, the moms knew each Other gangster no idea was the producer on a lot of Commons early records that he would mentor Kanye and school him on how to some of Saul records and cultivate his love of hip-hop, and this was a key moment in his development. As a producer of hip. Hop music after finishing school Kanye was awarded a scholarship to the American Academy of Art, where he would study. Painting for lit are transferring to Chicago State University to study English at 20, Kanye West dropped out of college, a decision that would greatly frustrate his mother. It was drummed into my head that college is the ticket of a good life, but some career goals don't require college. It was more about having the guts to embrace who you are rather than following the path society has carved out for you. That was his mother. Don OS, I don't think she would have said that, right after he told that just I guess that could have been an easy decision to make for Kanye I mean for a start, he's disappointing his mother, then he's got at work at the gap and telemarket and Salatin insurance just to pursue his music. He even apparently considered a career in porn. He was talked out of by his girlfriend of all people. That must have been an interesting conversation as a bit of a fan of Kanye. It is a relief he didn't do that, because otherwise we would've all been listening to the college full up that would not have been there didn't have the ring to it sort of speak all. Joking aside, this was really beginning to take a toll on Kenya. He was staying up until 4:00 in the morning grind and make and music pray and for the day where he wouldn't have to work a regular job. And all this time Connie has been getting encouraged to move away from Chicago to New York City, the birthplace, and, at that point, everything sort of fell into place. Two of his friends who had been producing for told them they will leave in him. His landlord comes to him saying too many people are hanging around your apartment. You'Ve got a goal: you're evicted. He threw everything into the u-haul truck and made his way in New York and doing store, put all his eggs into one basket. So Kanye winds up in Newark, New Jersey and through his connections. His beats make their way to Jersey. The first song that these two ended up working together on was a Rockefeller song and Kanye wasn't blown away by jay-z others. He wanted like the New Jersey, the swag jay-z. Basically not the old-school in prospective reasonable doubt jay-z. He was hoping for a record that would blow his reputation and that wasn't what he was getting from jay-z at all, but the connection was made and Kanye ended up. Producing some songs for The Blueprint album, which, in my opinion, is the greatest album jay-z has ever made so Kanye would literally build the tune, build the chorus. Have the melody, ready and all jay-z would have to do? Is Canyon City go and he'll actually, then fill that with the word. So it started by Kanye playing heart of the city to Jersey, which is actually meant for DMX. Jesus was like that I'll. Take that and then it's a play, another one play another one playing it on and within two weeks the blueprint was done. I'M off the train, I'm from Chicago. I got $ 10 in my pocket right now and I'm just having an opportunity to play. Ds beat so I'm it's like I'm just. This is like the moment of truth. For me, Reyes and I play another - beat, don't play another D for me that that album was peak Jersey. That was classic Jersey because it was a perfect blend between conscious rapper and you know so I basically take over is one of the hardest records to ever. Be released in rap music is pure aggression. It was one of the biggest dis records ever made. It sort of goes under the radar, because now's made ether which is seen is the better lyrical song, but as a musical district would take over in its fucking evil forms and ten years I could divide, that's one every let's say like he just broke him down And with upbeat in the background it was like, even though nas came back from it, it's unbelievable that he'd managed to because that was one of the most underrated diss records of all times, two or three minutes later I don't know you know it was like this. He just tapped me on a show. He said: hey shit, it is, though, featured it is a Kanye made the main song on the blueprint. It was the hit single issue that is all and that sort of set the tone for the entire album Jersey stumbled across a formula of a contrast between kids sounding singing with a grown-ass man rappin and for some reason, with his sound advice and with his tone Of the song it just gels like peaches and cream, it's almost like a kid's song, but then Jesus arrived in on it basically and because of that you're appealing to a mass audience, you've got anyone can listen, it would basically and enjoy it. I feel like heart of the city and never changed just go hand in hand because they're both classic songs like they're, both is pretty much as good as anything jay-z will make, and you can hear it never change the influence of Kanye. When you see him, I'm still fucking with clown, because grandpa's like it even sounds like Anya's voice, you can tell Connie is set on fucking, say it like this part of the city is a classic jay-z song in the sense that he's not really talking about anything That emotional or that deep it just sounds good and the reason it sounds good. It'S cuz fucking Kanye made it sound good. He made that sound amazing. For me, it says a lot about Kanye when you look at the best version of jay-z we've ever seen was produced by an early version of Kanye. Kanye gave the album a sound like no one else, huh, despite Kenya being respected as a producer. Now he still wasn't getting the respect as a rapper. He was going for a record label after record label performing a play in his songs to them. He had jesus walks, punked that was done, and people weren't interested that wasn't mainstream rap at the time. This was 50 cent. He'S shouting see you Nick not Jesus walked on year was even had a Rockefeller party, where everyone was just playing songs, having a good time dancing and enjoying themselves. He stops the music, but Jesus walks on and performs it in person. No microphone. Just shout me in front of everyone to impress people he was desperate. He really wanted to show people what he could do from what I've heard. It didn't have the desired effect. Her party people were a bit like weirded out by he would be. He was close to getting signed by Capitol Records and damn realized just in time that if Rockefeller loses him as an artist, we also lose him as a producer, and so Kanye was given his Rockefeller chin and welcome to the team. At that point. Granted Kanye only went from being a nobody to jay-z's mate, but still in the eyes of the public. That'S massive that gives you an opportunity to grow off of somebody else's Fame. It was just what he needed and just as everything was not enough for Kenya, he was driving home one night in October 2002, after a long recording session in the California studio when he fell asleep at the wheel and was involved in a near-fatal crush. This nearly killed him. This changed his face forever. He was on an interview talking about how, when he used to smile, you'd, see both sets of teeth, and now you only see the top set of teeth. This is how much has changed it. The accident was so painful. The first two or three days were like some of the worst pain in my life. I would not wish this on anyone, except maybe three people, I'd love to know who those three were by the way. I was scared because you hear about people dying in surgery and this injury is dealing with my breathing. I had so much blood coming out of my mouth every twenty minutes. I had to have one of them suction type things. It would be so much mucus and blood up until this point, Kanye had been surrounded by some serious people in hip-hop people who'd suffered and made other people suffer, people have been stabbed and shot and had to sell drugs to get by and knowing what it's like To have nothing, and can he, on the other hand, living with a well-educated mother and being raised the right way just wants to make music? He just wants to bounce around on stage and he's happy to be there. He couldn't relate to what other people had been through, but I'm a rapper from the heart like I got something to say you don't say and people like you. What'S your friend a rapper bad, you never so crack out your house and put a gat to a mouth and put your fist to your spouse, so how you gon na move the crowd. I bet a thousand that you get booed out and now. Finally, he himself was in pain. He himself was suffering when you go through pain like what Connie is in and you're in agony. It teaches you a lot about life that you can only find out if you go through something like that and that brought new levels to who he was as a person a place he can now go to which he couldn't have gone do before, and he channeled That into his music, if you nearly died - and you realize your own mortality - and you know that I've only got one shot, and this is such a short period of time, I'm going to be on on it. It makes you think about everything differently. They even wire. My jaw wrong, so they'd have to break it again and wire it back in the right place. Two weeks after the accident, kanya returns to the studio with a jaw headshot and records a career-defining song called through the wire. I got a do a joint that if it wasn't for this one right here, I would have never made it this far. What I like about Kenya is is very good at the first line of a song getting you in so the point where, in ten years time, when no one ever is heard through the way that we've people watching this right now haven't heard through the wire in A long time and I'll City I'm say, are drinking loose for breakfast and insurer for desert. Like those straightaway. You constantly know the rest of the song because it he's just he's. Fucking got you I'm not like what happened that I read that I think what the fuck happened story on MTV, but I'm trying to make a bonus where this right here history in the make and one like to say that on your first song, that's coming off The album your first fucking album and call it history in the make in that request and fuckin self believe, most first songs, even Eminem hi. My name is like he wasn't going out history in the making. You know that sums can yield for me, like I remember where I was when I first heard through the wire. I was it one of me: mates houses, he loved Kenya from day one. I was more of like a gangster, a farmer. I would just remember: yeah you had to take notice of it. It was such a distinct, sound and different than what everyone else was doing at the time and the fact that he was telling such a compelling story, and it was documented on the video, the the car accident. You knew so much about him from one song. I'Ve heard Eminem say he always try to get who he was across in that first, like that's, why I did hi. My name is, and the real Slim Shady honey. I did that in a different way, by telling such a fuckin good story and bringing it a life on the video yeah. I can still picture now coming down the banister, I'm a grown ass when I should be like that for stupid idea, but I'm a champion. So what tragedy to try after releasing through the wire Kanye, would get to work on his first album. You would also release a mixtape in the meantime called get well soon because he delayed his album three fucking times. Didn'T you Canyon, perfectionist from day one this lad, but when we got it, we could see why this album cut the pulled the car near to the top-ten rappers in the world overnight. If he came in overnight celebrity, that's trust I would say, and the world received the college Talib Kweli try Called Quest De La Soul like all of those type of rappers. He definitely took inspiration from me on this, but the difference was his rut was like that. They don't really get the beats. The music behind them to turn them into Superstars and Kanye created his own. The biggest rapper in the world at the time was 50 cent. He was coming out wearing a bulletproof vest Connie who came out wearing a pink polo t-shirt and dressing up like a teddy bear. Rappers at the time are talking about killing people and selling drugs. Kanye comes in. He talks about selling clothes at the gap. His car accident, he talks about talking to God, he talks about being self-conscious. He even takes the piss out of rubbers with Ludacris at one point that is Kanye showing he's different and that you can do rut differently and still be successful. Nobody believed that at this time, Rockefeller and even basically said this - is a write-off like if it, if it isn't successful and halfway through, we realize that we'll just get a rapper to take the beats off him and we'll get someone else to not get album out. Like since then Carney has gone full-on Louis Vuitton Donna, but like at the time. He was really quite humble in this and more talking about regular problems that regular people have there's a certain type of person who gravitates towards a 50 cent or a Tupac or an aggressive rapper. Maybe people who think like an alpha male type and I think Kanye just provided a totally different option for people who didn't necessarily want tautly, aggressive music but loved rap for what it was. Women would no doubt be more of a fun than Kanye than 50 cent and people like that, a lot the timing. He opened the market up massively and crossed over amongst many different genres and really has never stopped doing that. Since then. I love the story that Jamie Foxx told when he said how he went in and tried to sort of do it in an R Read the full article

[benefits1986]

2/100: Prophecy And Blasphemy

She rarely dreams, but when she does the dreams eat up her big personality. She remembers every tiny detail. The sights, the sounds, the scents, the flavors and yes, even the how the things she touches feel. She tried to look past each HD dreams because whenever she wakes up, she feels as though she has been transported in some sort of a time machine. 

She usually tries to sleep again because she’d want to make sure that she is indeed awake and not stuck in some kind of Inception-inspired sphere. Her default reasoning is that she watches too many films with plots that are twisted and subtexts that are off the roof, literally and figuratively. After all, she is a self-proclaimed over thinker who shuts down emotions creatively and critically. 

At 17 as she was drowning in her mother’s dream for her to become a nurse, she was dumbfounded when she saw herself in a blue skirt and a white buttoned up blouse. She shared a room with females who are taking exams. She wondered why she was there in the first place because her uniform is a long sleeve all-white ensemble. She knew it was not something that made sense because she mapped out her life as a nurse. She even saw the old building that she had never seen before. The exam looked tough and she gazed at the faces of her “classmates.” They did not seem to look weirdly so she thought that she might actually be one of them. She did not manage to look at her paper well enough because she was too busy putting things together. The classroom she was in had an elevated wooden platform and desks that have obviously been battle-tested. She even managed to take a peek at the exterior shots of the building she was in. It had an off-white paint and windows that seem to be from another era, perhaps that of the World War or something kind of close. She woke up sweating and wondering. That dream never left her because that was the dream that only made sense in 2005. She had to leave nursing, take a year off college to be her mother’s keeper; and had to give in again to her mom’s other wish for her --to be in an all girls’ school along Leon Guinto, Manila. Her first class was inside a room that had an elevated wooden platform. She saw some of the girls that were in her dream two years back and she had a string of tough exams all throughout her college life. 

After she bid goodbye to her life as a struggling agnostic, she had another dream during her early 20′s. It was in a majestic church that she has never visited. The crowd is young, and loud, and vibrant --something she never imagined existed. Being the poker-faced woman that she has always been, she knew she had been smiling a bit and found herself drawn to the people she was with. She even had a string of conversations with people whose names she did not know, but they all felt like home. While at it, she knew these are not happening in real life. She knew that she was far away from reality, but she indulged. It was like a time travel in 4D once again. She knew it was but a dream and that the chances of this being true are way too slim. The location looked too posh, too grand and too un-her.  Less than a year after, she found herself in a community of people she would call home without saying it out loud at most times. She was invited to be part of a church that was meant for her. Unassuming. Small group. But inside one of the mighty gated villages in the South. And oh, she always thought that she would never set foot on the said neighborhood because she is not a fan of the rich, the famous and the infamous bunch. Little did she know that this is where she’d rediscover her spiritual awakening. She was caught off guard as she received the warmth, the hugs, and the acceptance without her having to move too many fingers. She did not only find a home, she found a new call and an answer. Damn, dreams, ain’t they? The moment her dream unfolded, she managed to let a few tears out because she was beyond overwhelmed in a pleasantly weird way.  As she was going about this new journey, she was told that her gift was prophecy. She only knew about the big word through her well-loved book, Harry Potter. Being the thickly non-traditional Catholic that she was and still is, she was shaken to the core. Only a very few are given this gift and she was trying to rationalize things again because her intuition is all over the place, whether these places are good or bad. 

Then, her most cinematic, prod level dream came. 

It was a few weeks before her birthday. She dreamt of how her mom passed away. It was a bright morning. She saw the sun rays coming through their living room window. It was where her mom stayed. She greeted her mom and did the drill. She washed her bed sores which were getting nastier because she can barely move during those days. She felt the warm and comforting water gush as she rinsed the wounds. Her heart broke yet another time. Whenever she did the wash and rinse, she cried deep inside. The bed sores are more than wounds. They meant a step closer to being bedridden yet again. No matter how much her OCD and goal-driven self tried, she failed miserably in keeping the sores out of sight. As the sores go deeper, her anxiety, her self-doubt, her resentment toward being incapacitated soared. (She adores puns long before they were a thing, by the way, segue.) She felt a lump down her throat. However, she managed to pull off the poker face. She always did this so well even in her dreams. After the drill, the scene went pale and everything went black. She saw her mom inside a coffin. She blinked several times. She knew she was dreaming. She should be. She ought to be. The stench of formalin mixed with funeral flowers (oh, she hated flowers because she learned straight from a topnotch florist early on that the only difference between flowers for living and flowers for the dead is actually the crown or the card) confirmed that it was indeed a death scene. She moved her gaze toward the room -a battered room filled with people she knew and she didn’t. She tried to remember every detail. She saw her mom’s red lips with a very small, obviously stingy yet undeniably relaxed and satisfied smile. Up until today, as she is penning this entry, the emotions she had in that dream are with her. This time around though, the voices in her head no longer persecute her. In her dreams, the emotions were seemingly magnified. She felt so betrayed, though she knew that her mother’s end is coming. She was so disappointed with the way she handled the task of being her mother’s keeper even when she knew she gave it all that she can. She wanted to punch herself and bang her head on the wall, but in her dream, she knew she had to keep her cool, like all the days of her battle with and for her dying mother. 

As soon as she woke up, she vowed not to wash and rinse her mom’s bed sores moving forward. Somehow, she believed that so as long as she did not come near her mom during early mornings, she will be fine. They will be fine. Life would be the same, and she might eventually shrug that 4D dream off. 

Two weeks down the drain, she heard an argument in their living room one early morning. She just came from a drunken night in the hopes of washing down the vivid dreams but she still found herself wide awake before sunrise. She tried not to mind the argument she was overhearing but she could not take it in any longer. She had to do something. She had to be her mother’s keeper. 

Without blinking, she sprang out of bed and got the dipper and the bedpan. She proceeded to turn her mom over and boy was she so heartbroken to see the bad bed sores that have gone near worst. The nasty sores are deep and they seem to throb with her every touch. She tried her best to gentle but she failed to give her mom the relief she has been longing for in silence. She took a deep breath and proceeded until the drill is completed.  Then it hit her. She underwent The Drill in her 4D dream.  She just did it.  And there is nothing she can do to undo it.  Her eye then caught the bright and airy lights that were coming through the window. She noticed that it was a very early morning. She looked around and was petrified deep inside. She could not let a tear fall but deep down she was in shambles. 

She fucking did it. She opened the door to her mom’s end. That week, her mom passed away peacefully at their home four days before her birthday.  She decided on every detail of her wake until her funeral because her mom had a checklist especially for her. During countless times of doubt, all she remembered was her mom’s classic-is-fuckingtastic line when they had The Talk a few years back: I need you to be at your strongest when I am at my weakest. She took that as a dare so that she can pull things off in the best, most decent way possible, and girl, she finished The Finish Line with flying colors. The eulogy and the wake was one for the books because it was a celebration of her mom’s well-lived lives in front of her well-loved people.  Shedding tears was but an option she indulged in during the hours when no one is watching over her mom in the memorial chapel. One night, she indulged in a heart-wrenching cryathlon for over three hours. No one came near her. They knew she did not want to be touched when she is this vulnerable. She saw them watching her from a safe distance and though she so wanted to be hugged, she abhorred being cradled because no one would ever replace the comfort that her mom brought her for 26 years. She hated being loved because she was a victim of a love that ended no matter how much she battled with the odds and the toughest curveballs. She shut down her feelings because being vulnerable meant having to let the hurt mix with the utmost and I-do-not-give-a-damn-if-you-can-give-it-back kind of care that she and the world knows is innately hers.  And that dream turned to larger-than-life reality made her walls mightier, tighter and higher. She specifically asked her god to take away her gift. Prophecy? Heck. Spare her. Just leave her alone. Just let her keep a dreamless night or even a randomly dreamy night she conveniently forgets the night after. For over five years, she has not been having 4D dreams except those where her mom visits her or where she sees her mom in a happy place only from a distance. 

Today, she is on her sixth year and things have been turned around. Though she does not want to dream THE DREAMS again, she is no longer afraid. Truth be told, she has another very vivid dream before her mom passed away. However, this dream is too impossible to happen but may happen. Thing is, when this happens, hearts are going to break before they are unbroken. And if ever this dream does happen, she will be caught off guard once again. Deep in her heart, this has been one of her THEN dreams but she had to bid this dream adieu because it’s what it is. There are a number of times, even up until these days when she finds herself closing her eye and shaking her head because this particular dream pops in and out of her head.  In the meantime, she is trying her hand, heart, and head to live her dreams, for a change. So let her be. Let her fly. Let her fall. And let her stand tall in full color, in dynamic sounds, in vibrant tastes, in intriguing scents, and in life-altering feelings. Yes, she is ready to feel the love and lights in full color, in 4D.