#god hes fucking advertising just gay he is

[sanzaibian]

April 7th

Hey journal !

This is going to be hard to write… but I’ve decided to write down my experiences in this little journal I just bought for like, $7 at the local thrift shop, so here I go.

So, I’m Jay Callaghan, a 25 year old student in STAPS, hoping to become a physiotherapist (hope when I read that in 10 years I won’t be embarrassed !), and I’m gay. Like, very gay, nothing in me for girls. But… let’s just say than in sports studies, being gay isn’t well seen. So I keep my hookups on the down low, and avoid talking about that part of myself to anybody else.

And to be honest, it really drives me mad. I’m always double-checking that I’m not too faggy for their eyes, I’m always fidgety when discussions shift towards recent “conquests”, and I feel like I just miss out on so many things. I mean, it has only been, like, a year and a half since I fully accepted that I’m gay ? But still, the impostor syndrome has never faded, and by now, I just want it to stop.

By the way, here’s a photo of what I look like :

Dare I say I look pretty hot ? Well, this just makes things worse, actually. Because then the guys are always like “Yeah, look at Jay, he must be pounding so much pussy” or something… I just want to scream to them that no ! I’m very much very pounded ! And that’s not to say there aren’t people drooling over me ! There are ! But they all hail from the wrong gender !

However, recently I heard about the brand new Conversion Powder by Eamora Co., some kind of drug made by that unknown pharmaceutical company. What’s special about this powder is that it advertises itself as actually being able to change sexuality, so to make someone straight. Now, don’t get me wrong, I wholly support LGBT rights and want for any kind of conversion to be willful – so, like, not conversion therapy. Plus, both the instructions manual and the few reviews I found said that the powder must be taken once a day for the effect to persist. So it’s not as if it was an effective conversion therapy. But… I feel like things would be so much easier if I was straight. I wouldn’t be in constant fear, I would feel included with the other guys, and I would just be normal for once.

So yeah. I just want to end this by giving out my opinions on men and women :

Men are so fucking hot, well-built muscles, with big juicy pecs and a great six-pack invites licking, the hose downstairs is the work of god, and I just want to rub myself against it, accept it in my mouth and in my ass. Women… are just women. I guess they do have pec-like stuff, but they’re just so stuffy, and big and all. Plus, they just aren’t interesting in terms of attractiveness ? Not to shit on them, but just not my thing.

Yeah, let’s see how well it ages. I’m taking the Conversion Powder right now.

The evening

Okay, so I think from now on I should write on the evenings, because this way I can recap the events of the day while they’re still fresh in my mind. Plus, when class starts again tomorrow, it’s going to be a pain to write in the mornings.

So let’s start with when I took the powder. As the instructions asked, I put it in a glass and mixed it with water, to drink. At first, nothing happened, but then I started getting a headache, and felt quite dizzy for a while. I don’t know how long, because I didn’t record myself, and I know that my sense of time probably got warped, but it did feel long. And then, it just cleared, like magic.

To be honest, it was very underwhelming. I thought that something would happen to signal if it worked or not, but I decided to still test out if it actually worked. So I opened straight porn, and there the magic occurred.

By instinct, I started by watching the guy, but honestly, he just felt boring at first. I tried to see how hot he was, because I could tell he was attractive indeed, but it just felt… wrong to think of him as attractive. Which was unsettling in its own right. But then came the woman, and let me just say that : she was heavenly. She had tanned skin that ran along her beautiful curves, skimpy black leather pants and bra that espoused her big hips and breasts, and long black hair flowing over her back, waving in such a tasteful manner ! My dick was immediately woken up in quite the surreal moment, and I couldn’t help my self.

I beat myself off furiously at her being railed.

And I don’t even feel bad about that. I even printed out one of her photos to remind myself of her… God, my dick is awake once again by once again seeing her !

After that, I must admit that I spent a lot of time gooning myself on all the stuff I missed out on when I didn’t like women. I even almost forgot to eat lunch !

The afternoon, I decided to go on a walk outside, to see if anything different happened, and honestly… once again, it was quite underwhelming. I really don’t know what I expected, taking this powder for me to be this underwhelmed ! It only advertised that it would turn people straight, and this is what it did ! On a technical sense. Because I may be, in fact, straight at the minute, but I don’t feel straight. I… don’t know how to articulate that, I think I’ll have a better answer to that question when I’ve spent more time on the powder.

So yeah, what I wanted to write is that, when I was walking in the neighborhood, I did have the same experiences as watching the porn : I felt it was weird to conceive of men as a subject of attraction, and I paid more attention to women, but nothing more, really.

Well, nothing much more to say, I guess ! I’ll continue taking it, because it doesn’t seem dangerous, and since I’m closeted it shouldn’t change much.

April 8th

This morning I took again a Conversion Powder, and although I did feel quite dizzy taking it, it was nowhere as much as last time. That does comfort me since if I do decide to stick with this, it won’t be that annoying after a while. I read up on how it works to see if these headaches are normal, but aside from the few internet theoreticians, I haven’t found anything tangible… Nobody really knows anything about it, plus Eamora Co. is basically a completely unknown entity, so I can’t really get to the bottom of this. I guess this here diary may be the current best source for how the Conversion Powder works ?

But the most important thing today was getting back to school. And honestly, there I found that the changes were more substantial. I don’t know if it’s because I have also been on it yesterday, but it felt much easier to get into the skin of the typical straight guy. I didn’t have to worry about seeming too gay, because I technically am not, meaning that the school experience was a lot more peaceful. I also felt more included during the locker room talks. It’s crazy, because when they started to talk about boobs, my dick just hardened ! They mocked me, of course, I felt quite ashamed, but a good kind of ashamed. Like I’m actually having a normal reaction !

God, here I am writing about that kind of stuff… Well, to whoever might read that (me included), I have a duty to present everything of note ! So you’re going to have to bear with the stuff I already know I’ll find cringey in a few months’ time.

So yeah. On that, I’ll go to sleep.

April 9th

Man, I want to cross out the whole section about the powder on the web I wrote yesterday. And also the “I’ll go to sleep”. I’m not talking to anyone !

But yeah, today, the Conversion Powder made the media rounds.

And the rounds it made, in barely a day ! We got LGBT associations speaking out for its immediate discontinuing, far-right think tanks asking for it to be included in all school and high school meals, and politicians scrambling to state their opinion. It kinda feels bad for me to be technically not aligned with the LGBT associations, since I’m taking it, but this was my choice. I’m deciding to become straight, and my current experiences point that it was a good one. I’m feeling more and more connected with my bros (yes ! I can actually call them that, now !), and everyone who I knew before taking the powder say that I’ve recently been in a better mood than usual.

However, I won’t tell others that I’ve been taking it. I was closeted, and I don’t want people to think that I’m self-hating or something… I guess I kinda was, but that’s not the point I was getting at. The point I’m getting at is that I don’t fit the new stereotype of Conversion Powder-takers that is forming, and I don’t want people to think I do.

Also, even if more attention has been shed on Eamora Co. and the powder, there still is no good answer to the questions I wrote down yesterday.

Better news, though : today when taking the Conversion Powder, I almost didn’t feel dizzy at all ! It’s almost as if my body has fully acclimated to the Conversion Powder. If it’s how it works, honestly. However… I feel like I don’t have anything much to say about that ? I know, I know, such an earth-shattering change occurred in me, and two days in I don’t have anything to say about it ? I guess reality do be like that…

April 10th

Yes, I didn’t write much cringey yesterday !

But yeah, nothing much happened today, as do Wednesdays usually do. Though I guess I must mention that on the bus there was a really hot woman, I couldn’t get my eyes out of her. After a while of me basically staring at her though, I noticed that she knew I was looking at her, so I looked elsewhere. I guess, now, I understand the straight male experience, since I indulged in the same kind of creepy behavior… that is something I’ll need to fix.

About Eamora Co., they put out a statement saying that their product is ethical, and does not constitute a danger for the LGBT community. Although I’m technically on their side, let me say I’m calling bullshit on that. Seeing how potent this powder is, it’s easy for bad actors to drug gay and bi people without their consent, and even though they can fight against this kind of drugging, this kind of practice could very well lead into them assuming they were actually straight all along.

Here you go, let me step out of my soapbox.

April 11th

Okay, so, you know, Abby… No, I guess you don’t know, checking back I didn’t talk about her at all in this diary.

So, Abby was (and still is) a good friend in my university. She doesn’t study the same stuff as I do, but we got to know each other in business management class. We hit it off quite well, even though I wouldn’t call her my best friend by any stretch (I had much closer friends back in high school), she went along well with my way of being.

But here comes the catch.

Now that I’m straight, I’ve noticed that she… is actually quite well-endowed. Plus, over the last few days I would even dare say that she’s actually… cute. I mean, look at her and dare not tell me that she’s not cute !

Okay, I do realize that no one is gonna answer me here… but still ! Diary ! Or anything ! Agree with me !

I think this means that I may be having my first straight crush… on who was basically my only true friend in this university… not the best look. But at least it proves that the powder converts both sexual and romantic attraction ! It’s a good observation to include in this diary.

So yeah… gonna see how it evolves…

April 13th

Oops, I forgot to write, yesterday !

So I just hung out more with the bros, it’s been so fun to just… chit-chat with them ! I feel like we have a real connection, like they get me, like I get them. That’s something I could never have had when I was gay, I was forced to just stay out of the loop with everyone. I’m glad I’ve decided to start going on the conversion powder, because now I can finally get to live a normal life ! … not to insult my former comrades, of course.

But with Abby… I must admit I’m not proud of myself, because I basically avoided her for the past few days… I’m getting so flustered when I’m with her, it’s really embarrassing, but now I fear she thinks I’m abandoning her… I’m also being so obvious ! Like, this morning Abby walked in front of me when I was hanging out with my bros, going to some kind of economy class, and I just blushed to hell ! The bros all clocked that I have a crush on her, and I fear she might too ! God, so embarrassing !

Tomorrow, since it’s Sunday, I don’t have class, so the bros asked me to go to the gym with them, and I’m 95% sure they’re gonna cook me alive for having that damn crush…

Help !

April 15th

I forgot to write yesterday again… I was so tired from the very intensive sesh that we had that I just went straight to dine and sleep, so give me a break, diary.

So, as I predicted… Saturday, the guys cooked me, and cooked me hard. They were like “why don’t you talk to her”, “you’ve seen her look”, “do the first move” and all, it was quite overwhelming while we were working out… But they were basically saying that I shouldn’t hesitate to ask her out, as even if it doesn’t work out there’s other girls to find…

God, this is the kind of advice that I would never have had if I was having a gay crush. Nobody would be there to be excited for me, they would all be uninterested to disgusted, and none could give me advice for how to do… because the only people who could would be the very kind I may want to woo !

So yeah. Out of my soapbox, today I talked to Abby… and I couldn’t do it. I chickened out, I didn’t ask her out… Like, I was just about to ! But then somebody let their coat drop, and Abby, kind soul she is, picked it up for them… and after that, my courage just disappeared, and I just brought up the topic of the Conversion Powder and the whole drama.

Yeah. About the Conversion Powder drama.

So, let’s just say that it got heated, and it became the controversy that everyone was talking about. I don’t know what my country will choose as a way forward, but some have already chosen to outlaw it… and the usual suspects have made it official “prescription” to “cure” gayness. I’m against both options, and although I think none will be taken by our government, they currently haven’t chosen a stance… I’ll keep a close eye on it, because I’d hate for my experiment to be cut short just because of them deciding for me…

April 16th

This time, I didn’t miss a day ! Yay !

So… I asked Abby out.

It was as if the stars aligned. Today she dressed in very hot clothes, and we had class together both before and after lunch. So I took the opportunity to ask her to meet with me at the park. But then, at the afternoon, it started raining… I was afraid that our meet-up would have to be canceled, but just before it was time to end the classes, the sky cleared up ! So we went to the park, and my favorite bench in front of the pond was free ! We sat together, and there, I asked her if she wanted to go out with me.

And she said yes !

God, it feels so good ! My first ever date, and not hookup !

I’m just buzzing with excitement, we’re gonna see each other this Saturday afternoon after class ! I’m already envisioning it : first we get together in a cafe, then we go to the park and visit its zoo at the same time ! It’s going to be perfect !

I’m so ready for it !

April 17th

So, I’ve told the bros the good news… and somehow, the conversation drifted on clothes, and we realized that I don’t really have any “date” clothes – or at least, not straight date clothes. They said that it wouldn’t go, and Terry and Joe took me this afternoon to the shops, as they said that, as “pussyhounds” they know what makes girls go apeshit. There, they encouraged me to buy a nice black dress shirt, dark blue jeans and a fancy belt, so now they’ve been added to my wardrobe. They also told me to prepare some cologne, a golden chain and a fancy watch, because they said that it’s the kind of details women always pay attention to, but I already have some of those, so I’m covered.

I guess I’m ready for my date ?

April 20th

Fuck, I forgot again twice to write in this diary. I guess I should only write in it when there’s something interesting happening, because I only seem to remember writing in it when something involving my newfound straightness happens…

So yeah. The date with Abby was magical. Never have I ever been more glad to have made the choice to become straight. When we met up, she was just fabulous. Dressed impeccably, in a way that, yes, made her boobs pop out wonderfully, but it also made her beautiful eyes twinkle, her luscious lips glow and her fluffy hair shine. And the way she walked, so agile, so dainty… Bro, there’s nothing that can capture how beautiful she is ! And she’s also so smart, and such good company ! We talked for hours, made cute poses in front of the animals, and even stayed together for dinner – although we went out to McDonald’s, not enough money nor organization to go to a fancier place.

Perfect ! Absolutely perfect !

This is the kind of experiences normal men have ! And they’re so much richer than anything these gay hookups ever gave me !

Taking the Conversion Powder was the best decision in my life !

May 4th

May the force be with you ! haha

It’s been two whole weeks since I last wrote in this diary, it was time for me to give you an update, diary.

The last two weeks have been hell, because it’s exam season. So between studying, working out and dates with Abby, I haven’t had time for anything ! Bro, even my dates were study dates ! But otherwise… Everything’s going swimmingly ! I’m pulling along with my bros, and my relationship with Abby is going wonderfully !

Really, I know I’m writing the same thing again and again, but ever since I became straight, everything has become better ! Like, I’m better as a straight guy than I would ever have been as a gay guy, I’m sure of that ! It’s… even becoming kinda weird to think of myself as ever being gay, honestly...

God, it’s so refreshing to be normal !

May 6th (the morning)

A bit of a weird update, this morning before my last exam, because… er… we had sex yesterday.

So here’s how it went. Yesterday, we had another study date, but this time at my place. It was boring, of course, but to get out of the boredom we decided to make some raunchy remarks in-between economics and anatomy. And it made us both quite horny… well, at least it made me quite horny, because my dick was just rock hard, ready to squirt by the end of the session… And then we continued the remarks, without interruption… I got closer to her, started touching her, she started touching me, and then the clothes started coming down…

And you kinda know how it goes, but for me it was special. Because I have a ton of sex experience, but none when it comes to shoving my dick in a hole. I did have quite a good time eating her pussy, wayyyyyy tastier tasty than dick mind you, and she did make me come by giving me a blowjob, but then came time to do the deed. I put my condom on, and then honestly… it was a blast. I came just naturally once I had my dick inside her pussy, I just thrusted, and thrusted and thrusted, a ton of times, as if I was plowing her. She was orgasming, I was orgasming, and when we finally came, we just laid there, cuddling, until we both began sleeping.

I’m writing that as she’s taking her shower, just after my Conversion Powder drink, so I won’t be able to write too much, but really… it was the best sex I ever had. Hands down. Really, it feels like straight sex has been designed to happen, unlike anal, blowjobs and all. God, I’m so glad to have taken the powder !

May 8th

Okay okay okay, BIG NEWS !

This afternoon, Abby and I went to a date in the park, and guess what – I mean, a diary isn’t gonna answer me, but yeah. Abby asked if I wanted to be her boyfriend !

It made me just so happy ! Like, finally for the first time ever I have an actual relationship ! I have a girlfriend !

I’ll announce it to everyone ! Well, I kinda already have, but I thought after that that I should write it down here. I’m becoming the model straight guy, and I couldn’t be more up for that !

May 19th

Everything is going for the best, a month and a half in ! (about)

I think I’m gonna stop writing in this book, because I think there’s nothing I can write in it that’s new ! I’m a normal straight guy with a steady relationship with my beautiful girlfriend, Abby, and I hope – and think – that we’re going endgame. Like she’s so beautiful and she goes along with me so well, you can’t understand !

I’m also bulking thanks to all the workout I get with the bros, here, look at that photo :

Oh yeah, I did decide to cut down my hair. It was so long, it was bothersome, and I already have Abby, so I don’t need to look attractive to anybody, just to her. Plus, it made me look faggy, even though I’m straight.

So yeah, you can guess I’m a living example of why the Conversion Powder is a good thing for people who want it ! I’m so happy, and I have found the love of my life ! It almost feels like it was meant for me to be straight !

So… goodbye, I guess ? Or to next time something worth writing about happens ?

June 1st

I thought I wouldn’t ever touch this diary again, but today I saw a ton of pictures on the internet saying happy Pride Month, and… it made me feel empty inside.

I remember last year when I went to local Pride, it made me feel so… not alone ? Like I was part of something bigger, of a community of people who suffer the same kind of things as I do. But when I see all those pictures, I just feel like it’s not talking to me. I don’t feel like I’m part of the LGBT community anymore, because I’m just a normal straight guy, and I guess it’s the first time I somewhat feel some regrets ?

Now, I looked at my local Pride, and apparently this year’s prominent topic is the Conversion Powder, trying to ban it, so even if I wanted to go in as an ally, I would be the embodiment of what they’re avoiding…

I dunno, I’m feeling very conflicted. And it’s not the kind of things I can really talk about with Abby, considering to her I was always a normal straight guy. So I guess I’ll write about it here when I feel like venting.

June 3rd

This whole Pride Month thing is really going to my head, I cannot help but think about it… I look away each time I see rainbows, I avoid LGBT news and I feel awkward each time I see someone being visibly LGBT…

But really, I think I’m being so obsessed by it that I’m triggering old memories of when I was gay, I almost caught myself checking out a guy… If I didn’t know I was on the Conversion Powder, I would have said I was living through a gay awakening…

June 5th

OKAY OKAY CODE RED IT’S CONFIRMED I’M SOMEHOW REGAINING MY ATTRACTION TO MEN !

It’s too much to only be Pride Month behind that. I’m actively being turned on by men… even though I’m taking the powder everyday… each time it happens I switch to a mental image of a woman, but it doesn’t seem to really do anything…. I’m straight, that’s for sure, but why is my body suddenly not wanting to respond correctly ?

Fuck, why am I writing this, it has to be a fluke, I’m sure… I must be quite horny, since Abby has been quite busy with her internship.

I’ll call her up, have some good straight sex like I should, and see if this fluke happens again tomorrow (hint : it won’t).

June 6th

It did.

If I could sigh on paper, I would. Trust me.

The sex was a bit forced, I’ll admit, but today when I went for a morning jog, I saw one of the most drop-dead gorgeous guy I had ever seen… He was quite muscular, but not too much, was tall, handsome, had great hair and a light dusting of body hair where it mattered. Plus, his pecs were quite prominent, it felt as if I could squeeze them and sleep on them, they were so juicy… Fuck, reading back I’m describing that guy like I used to describe guys when I was gay, even though I’m straight…

Tomorrow I’ll up the dose of Conversion Powder, I’ll see what will happen.

June 7th

Do NOT take more than one dose of Conversion Powder at once, learn from my experience.

When I took those two drinks, I had the worst headache I’ve ever had… and then I was hyper-horny for a good 6 to 8 hours, wanting to fuck women, fuck women and fuck women… I’m really happy I had nowhere to go today, since I just gooned myself to straight porn for hours on end, even forgot to eat. It was actual madness.

But then, suddenly, my horniness stopped. I was just… spent, sitting inside a mess of cumstains that were hell to wash out, not really understanding what happened to me.

I’m afraid.

June 9th

The situation did not improve, my attraction to men just kept coming back, to the point I can basically now call myself thoroughly bisexual. But I’m not under any illusion : my attraction to women is very likely going to fade at some point.

And it’s going to make me lose Abby.

I’ve also looked around on the web, and found that I’m not actually the only one to be “reverted”, as people seem to refer to it as. Apparently, it’s due to people being used to the drug : since it cannot actually change attraction, it only overwrites attraction. So it acts like a drug, the more you take it the less effective it becomes…

So yeah, I’m becoming gay whether I want it or not…

June 12th

It’s beginning. The end is beginning.

I feel it, how women are starting to interest me less and less. I’d rather be dealing with dicks than with pussies… I had sex with Abby yesterday, and I just wasn’t into it. It just didn’t feel as exciting, as wonderful as it used to be when I first had sex with her…

Even she noticed it, and asked if everything was alright with me. I lied about being tired because of training, but it will only get me so far… I need to tell her at some point, before it’s too late. But I just don’t have the heart to break hers, it would also break my heart to have to leave her… I really wish I could stay straight…

So much for being “normal”, eh ?

June 14th

This afternoon, we met for our usual Wednesday dates. And I gathered the courage to tell her everything.

I told her how I was gay, how I used the Conversion Powder, how I then had a crush on her, and how I’m slowly becoming gay again. I was so afraid telling her that. Because I absolutely was in the wrong, I kept her in the dark about an important part of myself, and I was afraid of her reaction… heh, it’s kind of my first coming-out, in a way.

However, Abby, blessed be her heart, took it in strides, and the only thing she became angry over was the fact that I decided to take the Conversion Powder… Turns out she’s bisexual, and is really against it, and I guess I became another example for her to latch onto to deem it unacceptable… We had a goodbye kiss, and I told her that I still had a few days of liking women, so we should do whatever last thing together as a couple as we can.

I’ll see what she has in store for me.

June 15th

Okay, today was wild.

Abby basically took a whole day off just for me, and invited me to her place. And I was barely inside her bedroom that she just came in with tons of sex toys. I’m not even sure where she found half of those… And so, we just spent the remainder of the day having sex in many a kinky setup… the last of my straight sex would be kinky sex…

It was great, I hadn’t had so much fun in a long while, especially worrying this much about the end of the Conversion Powder… and I feel that from now on I’ll know her body way too much for someone who will soon become her Gay Best Friend.

So yeah, a great way to close the straight chapter of my life. We’ve decided, with Abby, that tomorrow I’ll get off the Conversion Powder, and that will be our official break up.

June 16th

First day without Conversion Powder, and I’ve been in bed fighting the inevitable headache that such an action accompanies.

Abby was kind enough to come look after me, and it honestly felt really weird to look at her and feel basically not much happening in my dick. Only remained aesthetic attraction.

While she was here, I made her read this diary. It was quite a humbling experience, as she was basically reading through my heart. Her reactions ranged from laughter to concern, including a few realizations about our history together. I mean, I didn’t know she remembered the time I almost confessed to her but was interrupted by someone else !

She also told me that it was weird how I didn’t mention being afraid about the bros, and honestly… I find it also weird now that she mentions it. I dunno, when I decided to take the powder, fitting in with the bros was such a priority for me, yet today, I feel like I have such a good relationship that I wouldn’t trust them to care either way. But I did make a coming out message in our group chat, basically explaining the same stuff as I did with Abby. I’ll see how it goes, but currently Terry eagerly responded with a “I support you!!!!!!1!!!”.

June 18th

My headache was very strong, and I stayed in bed again yesterday, but by now I think it has passed. I didn’t expect the aftereffects of the Conversion Powder to be this severe...

I don’t think I’ll have much to say in this diary in the future, especially as I seem to be going back to the normal me. I mean, normal gay me. But since I’ve had a lot of time to think about this whole situation the past few days, I’ll write about my experiences here.

So, first of all, I’m glad to have made this experience of what straight life looks like. However, I also think that it was a mistake.

Basically, I think that when I did it, I took the easy way out. Pointing to an inalienable part of myself as being the cause of all my woes and then trying to remove it, it just shows a laziness from me. Like I can’t try and imagine what an actual solution looks like, I have to change myself before being able to fix stuff. However, I feel that this experience made me learn that I was actually able to do all the things I felt were lacking. Talking to Abby she made me notice that, aside from being straight, nothing really changed after taking the Conversion Powder, so all the things I blamed myself for making me look faggy just… didn’t. It was only me being afraid, and letting it talk rather than the rational mind. So all the good things I had when I was straight, I can just have them if I get out of the mindset that gay is bad.

So… yeah ! Although it still feels a bit weird to say, I’m gay, and I’m proud ! All my woes weren’t due to me being gay, they were due to me being afraid, so now I decide to not be afraid anymore ! I hope that whoever reads this diary (including me) will understand that they don’t need to take out a part of themselves to find happiness. They need to get over their fears, and only this way will the road to happiness will be opened !

Well said, love from the past ! -T

[sparrow-the-tired-lesbian]

thoughts on episode 2 (SPOILERS)

Oh don’t  tell me we get Sylki this episode 

OH MY GOD THEYRE WEARING TUXEDOS

MARRIED COUPLE LOKIUS

oh god no not Brad 

HA LOKI SCARED THE SHIT OUT OF HIM

Mobius you’re such a dummie

B15 MY BELOVED

OHOHO GET FUCKED BRAD

Mobius is gay panicking

BRAD WHAT KIND OF RUN IS THAT

OHOHO MAGIC

WHERE DID YA COME FROM WHERE DID YA GO WHERE DID YA COME FROM COTTON EYE LO

MOBIUS IS GAY PANICKINGGGGGG

*sings along to the theme song*

Ohhh b15 you’re lookin fine

There’s a jail in the TVA??? I forgot about that

bring it to my son

OUROBOROS WHERE ARE YOU

SON

Aww he talks to himself that’s cute

So smart

He’s gonna get so fed up with people bringing shit to him when he wrote a whole book about it

Sweet Casey

Married couple Lokius building their IKEA bed

CASEY READ THE GUIDEBOOK! WE STAN A GREAT BOI

I’m going to fight Brad

Brad is so right about Lokis character but damn Mobius going to defend him is kinda gay

Why do I feel like Brad is talking directly to me when he’s talking to-

DONT TALK ABOUT FRIGGA I WILL MURDER YOU BRAD

The sass on lokis tone I’m going to cry

Mobius reign in your boyfriend

Loki is scaring me actually

That sounded kinda sexual Loki my man

YOURE RIGHT BRAD

THERAPY

MOBIUS’S PET?

Yeah Mobius who were you

Oh jeez

Mobius is about to flip out

HE FLIPPED

Loki caring for his husband <3

Following each other <3

KISS NOW

THE PIE SCENE

Awe Loki with his little legs crossed he’s so adorable around Mobius

Yeah you lost it baby

Comfort your husband Loki

WASNT TACTICAL??? BABE YOU ATTACKED NYC

Talk about your feelings Mobius

Why would you thank him for kidnapping you Mobius?

Felt that about bad and good lemme tell ya

Would you quit it about Sylvie

OUROBOROS!!!!

Don’t get hurt baby I’ll cry

Uh oh

UH OH

BRAD????

Is he dead?

Aww man he’s alive

Round two of what babe

NEED ANOTHER SESSION???

HARDBALL TACTICS?!!!??!

WHAT ARE THESE WORDS YOURE SAYING

Big machine

He’ll torture you babe

Remembering things for their husband this is cute

Uh oh Loki what are you doing

LOKI STOP IT

LOKI 

stop asking about Sylvie for the love of god

ENJOY YOURSELF?!

Mobius you’re so sweet

YEAH BRAD DONT BRING UP A VILLAIN’S MOTHER

Kill him hon maybe we won’t have to deal with his dumb ass

Terrible awful things 

He’s lost his shit I love it 

Loki please this is going too far

Okay nice we made Brad suffer and Loki is being everything Mobius could want in a boyfriend

Mobius was in on it?!

OB WHAT DO YOU MEAN WERE GONNA DIE

*gasp* OUROBOROS AND CASEY MY NEW OTP

HES FANBOYING

AWWWW BABIES 

oh no world is dead

*sings McDonald’s jingle*

Where’s my wife

Awww she’s so proactive I love her so much

NO NO NO NOT SYLKI PLEASE NOT SYLKI

One Unhappy meal please

Talk less Loki 

Can Sylvie drive

CORRECT OMG MY WIFE

THIS IS MY BELOVED 

Leave her alone Loki please

Advertisement 

OH MY GOD MOBIUS IS ON SOME SYLKI HATE

“It’s cinema thank you very much”

Murder

QUICK CHANGE WITH SYLVIE

THEYRE KILLING RVERYTHING

IHOHO MURDER

COMPROMISED OF CIURSE BABY

OH NO

call your boyfriend Casey

Don’t hold hands

NO

uh oh

Bye bye Sylvie :)

Oh she’s back

What are we looking at

Oh no…

Those are people!

Uh oh Sylvie’s angry

I might as well just make a harem of marvel women I want to wife me up 

Don’t pull that Sylki bullshit on me

Mobius is sad Loki go comfort him

At least Sylvie had her life

Does she have a friend?

What’s going on between those two?!

I’m so confused

Post credits???

Why not?

[momotonescreaming]

Trying my hand at something different based off of a silly text post I made about a 90s/00s chatfic au. Not 100% sure if I'll continue it yet, so please let me know what you think! 💜❤️

Eddie couldn’t lie to himself that his heart skipped a beat when he got the notification. When he saw who the notification was for. The familiar bloop noise and the little pop up at the corner of the screen.

KingSteve85 is Online

Finally. Steve had moved away for college almost two weeks ago now, and Eddie had barely heard from him. Logically he knows that he and Robin needed the time to drive up, and set up in their cramped little dorms, and do other fancy college orientation things. But he missed them. Now that he had them, people who weren’t scared of him, people who weren’t afraid to call him out on his shit, people who got it. They talked almost every day after… everything.

Eddie would log on to the shitty old computer he and Wayne had fixed up and wedged in the corner of the trailer, scroll the internet, listen to music — and chat with Steve. He was a good fucking guy. And funny. And hot. And now it felt weird not chatting to him every day. Not logging on after a shift at Thatcher Tyre to find the little green Online dot next to his username. Not logging on at 2am after a nightmare to find Steve also online.

But Steve’s at college now, and his PC is currently boxed up in Robin’s childhood bedroom. Didn’t trust his new roommate, he said. Or his parents, after he moved out.

Without hesitating, ignoring the flip of his stomach and beat of his heart — he sends Steve a message.

c0rr0d3d_3dd13: soooooo how was ur 1st wk of college? :D

Steve replies immediately.

KingSteve85: so crazy haha KingSteve85: sorry i haven’t been online haha c0rr0d3d_3dd13: lol allgud. i know ur a big college boy now C0rr0d3d_3dd13: don’t have time 4 me anymor lol ;_;

Eddie cringes as soon as he says it, as soon as he hears the click of the enter key sending the message. Recoiling into a ball, hands over his face, curling up on the wheeled office chair, he lets himself spin as he watches the screen. Waits for the KingSteve85 is typing… message to pop up. God, Steve’s barely left and Eddie’s already a needy, self deprecating, mess.

Fuck his life. Crushes are stupid.

Because that’s what that is. He can admit that to himself now. Now that Steve’s left. He’s got a big, fat, gay crush on Steve Harrington. Him and all the other repressed queer kids at Hawkins High. What a cliché.

The computer pings with a new message, and his gaze is ripped towards the screen.

KingSteve85: never! there was just a lot of events and stuff this first week KingSteve85: did not have time to go to the library and log on lol KingSteve85: haven’t even called Dustin yet c0rr0d3d_3dd13: ur messaging me b4 dusty? Ur gonna make a girl blush harrington

Hunched over on the office chair with the broken wheel, at the computer he helped fix, with the shoddy speakers him and Wayne haven’t gotten around to yet — Eddie felt special. Dustin was Steve’s brother, one of his best friends. And yet Steve chose to message him first.

He tries to humble himself, hold back the blush with the knowledge that if Robin went to a different college than Steve (which was highly unlikely), he would have messaged her first. But Robin isn’t at a different college. And Eddie got the message first.

c0rr0d3d_3dd13: wot sort of events were there? music and drinking? Rotfl KingSteve85: literally yes haha KingSteve85: during the day there were like,,, tours and stalls advertising clubs and stuff KingSteve85: but as soon as it was night it all popped off haha c0rr0d3d_3dd13: u go 2 any? KingSteve85: some! not a lot haha. Robs wasn’t super excited and i didn’t want to leave her alone

It warmed his cynical heart, how much Steve cared for Robin. And how much she cared for him in return. They cared, and they love each other so much. Eddie thinks they’d still be close, even without all the debilitating trauma that glued them together. Robin had mentioned wanting to merge her and Steve into one being before, so they could always be close and balance each other out. Steve had immediately agreed.

Eddie had friends in the Corroded Coffin boys, but he wasn’t sure if they were at the ‘merge into one mega being’ stage of their friendship yet. Maybe Jeff. Jeff had gone off to college this year with Frank — to a different place than Steve and Robin — and Eddie had already received a postcard from him. It was nice to not be forgotten. A part of him wondered if he would be, when everyone went off to college.

But Jeff didn’t. Steve didn’t.

c0rr0d3d_3dd13: wot a gentleman lol c0rr0d3d_3dd13: wots ur timetable lik now? KingSteve85: fucking crazy dude KingSteve85: got lectures & tutorials & work & been thinking about doing a sport again c0rr0d3d_3dd13: which sport lol? u’ve got like… 3 to pick from c0rr0d3d_3dd13: ALSO DAMN DUDE THATS BUSY KingSteve85: i guess haha KingSteve85: been thinking either basketball or swimming. maybe baseball lol KingSteve85: which’ll add practices and meets and games and stuff haha

Before he left, Steve had quietly admitted that he wasn’t sure if he’d try out for a sport or not. During his senior year Billy Hargrove gave him a concussion so bad it benched him for months, and he’d spent ages trying to work back up to it again. So he could play without wanting to puke. And then he didn’t get into college when he applied to the fancy schools his dad made him apply for, and he missed out on any possible scholarships he would’ve gotten.

And he would’ve gotten them. Eddie’s not much of a sports guy, but he knows Steve was good. Great. One of the best.

Eddie quietly believed in Steve. He wouldn’t be himself unless he was exercising or playing a sport. You could see it in his face when he watched a game with Robin, when he played pick-up basketball with Lucas. It made him happy. So Eddie wanted Steve to try out. He was at the sappy stage where the thought of Steve being happy made his heart swell. He was happy he was happy.

(A part of Eddie just wondered if maybe Steve could be happy with him.)

c0rr0d3d_3dd13: do it!! i’ll cheer 4 u from here c0rr0d3d_3dd13: but leave som time free lol or u’ll go mad KingSteve85: enough free time i can chat w you? Haha

His hear clenches at the fact that it was Steve who bought it up. Their chatting. Maybe he thinks of it as often as Eddie does.

c0rr0d3d_3dd13: obvs??? c0rr0d3d_3dd13: if u 4get ab me im gonna cry dude KingSteve85: of course i won’t haha KingSteve85: gotta chat w you so you won’t go crazy back in Hawkins c0rr0d3d_3dd13: and i’ll make sure u don’t go crazy over there with your full ass schedule KingSteve85: its not that bad haha KingSteve85: but thank u c0rr0d3d_3dd13: i’d argue it *is* that bad c0rr0d3d_3dd13: i hav a full time job and the thought of ur schedule makes me cry

Wayne had managed to get him a job at Thatcher Tyre, through a few mutual acquaintances and a favour he had yet to cash in. It made him feel like one of those rich shit kids who go to college on daddy’s money and get a job in his company without having to work for it. The type of kid Steve was.

But Eddie can’t be picky now, and he and Wayne need the money. He’s good at cars, doesn’t completely hate it, and it pays. So he bit his lip, and now he has a full time job with a schedule of his own.

It is not as busy as Steve’s. He knows if he asks Robin, hers will be the same. Filled with band practices and sports games. Birds of a feather.

KingSteve85: i’m used to it haha KingSteve85: at least i’m only planning on one sport and not two lol c0rr0d3d_3dd13: u better stick to that harrington c0rr0d3d_3dd13: or i’ll drive up there and kick ur ass until you take care of urself

There’s a pause. The KingSteve85 is typing… message flickered on the screen, loading whatever message Steve was typing.

It eventually came through.

KingSteve85: i promise. but maybe i should break that rule so you can come visit c0rr0d3d_3dd13: u dont have 2 con me into visiting stevie. just say the word

Another pause.

KingSteve85: i will

[steddieunderdogfics]

He's The Whore Next Door by a_lil_a_alot and Extocancer

@ukulilyjane

Rating: Explicit

44,444 words, 1/1 chapters

Archive Warning: No Warnings

Tags: 5+1 Things, Bisexual Steve Harrington, Gay Eddie Munson, We pretend Karen Wheeler wouldn’t actually fuck a teenager, Like the fake dating trope but make it slutty, Established bisexual Steve but he doesn’t know it, Hawkins isn’t cursed but El still has powers and lab trauma, No Beta - We Die Like Steve Harrington's Heterosexuality, Crack Treated Seriously, POV switches as TV advertisements/announcements, POV Steve Harrington, D&D rules as a sex talk, Everyone Is Gay, no one is safe, Recreational Drug Use, this is not a Mike Wheeler safe space, the kids aren't kids anymore are they Steve?, maidenless behaviour from Mike, not-so-background ronance, authors are working with 5e D&D knowledge don't come for us, Blow Jobs, First Time Blow Jobs, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Switch Eddie Munson, Background Greatwise, Jargyle if you squint, I'm the Lorax and I speak for the trees and the trees say: multiple orgasms, Crack

Summary:

“I just mean you’ve, like, practically slept with half the town. You don’t need to bring the fictional into it.” Dustin lets out an appalled noise, choked between opposition and surprise, staring directly at Steve as he awaits the response. Steve takes, admittedly, quite a few moments to reboot. He runs his hand through his hair, head tilting to one side. “Is that so?” “I just don’t trust you to not try it on with anyone ! It’s like I’m constantly questioning if you’re hitting on someone or if you’re just— god!”    And oh, boy, wasn’t that just the most delicious lightbulb to ever pop above Steven Otis Harrington's slightly shaken but amazing head? “Anyone, huh?” OR: 5 times Steve pretends to fuck an adult in Mike Wheeler’s life to get under his skin, and the 1 time he actually does. OR: Enter: Karen Wheeler. But not actually. Just pretend.

This is a MOD rec as a part of our Fic Fridays.

Know a fic that deserves extra love? Submit through our asks or the submission box!

[theweirdgoodbyes]

misadventures at nix’s tavern

“Joe, you’re fired.”

“No, I’m not.”

Lewis Nixon put his head in his hands and wonders why the fuck this needed to be happening today of all days. Despite never advertising as such, but possibly having to do with his brusque employees and inability to keep a female hire, Nix’s Tavern had gotten the reputation as both an Irish bar and a gay bar; March 17th and June 28th were their busiest days of the year. It was the morning of Saint Patrick’s Day and all hands were on deck to keep shit as together as possible: Joe was an active hindrance to that. Joe, all 135 pounds of him, was his best bartender and worst nightmare rolled into one. He could make a drink quicker and better than anyone, was never late, and managed to piss off everyone who stepped in the door, highlighted by last night’s disaster.

“Joe, don’t do this to me today. C‘mon, man.”

“You can’t fire me. What did I do wrong?” Joe, who he doesn’t even remember hiring by the way, throws his arms up.

“What did you-Joe, do you remember calling a woman a troglodyte last night? Because I do. Do you remember her throwing one of my martini glasses at your head? You still smell like olives.”

“I didn’t call her a troglodyte, I called her boyfriend one,” Joe shrugs, looking back at the bar he had been summoned from, “Can I get back to my prep?”

“Her boyfriend, oh, my deepest apologies,“ Nix presses his hands together in mock remorse, “Yes, you called her boyfriend a troglodyte. That makes it so much better. Joe, I cannot fucking have you here tonight. Just go home. Please, man.”

“You can’t expect Welsh and Luz to be on bar alone!” Joe cries, pointing at the two other bartenders who are supposed to be cutting limes but seem to be having more fun balancing shot glasses on their palms.

“They have each other. Put the fucking glass down, George!” George shoots Nix a quick thumbs up before the three glasses he has balancing in his other hand fall to the floor and shatter. George just gives him a shrug. God, this day needs to be done with already.

“Lew, are you fucking stupid?”

“Stupid for letting you work here? Stupid for opening this place? I’m the biggest idiot on fucking earth.”

“Lew,” Joe says, as serious as Joe can ever be, “I’ll be good tonight. Promise.” It’s a bold faced lie, but they both know that Joe needs to be here. A fact that Nix hates and Joe will never let him forget. For all his flaws and abilities to irritate the shit out of most of their customers, Joe had been a godsend after Buck quit.

“Joe, I swear to God,” Nix says, the same warning he’s given him time and time again, “Last chance.”

“Last chance.” Joe gives him a shit eating grin and a wink before getting up from their table and heading back to the bar, grabbing a pan and broom on the way to clean up George’s mess.

Joe fucking Liebgott, Nix laments as he gets up and makes him way to the kitchen to check on Malarkey, I hope you get your ass kicked tonight.

Enjoy this little add on to my other dive bar!au posts, all of which are now tagged under “misadventures at nix’s tavern!

[old-school-butch]

here is my second anon, on same-sex attraction and the fuckery i've experienced around it in the trans community. i wonder if any ex-TRAs and TIFs will recognize this, or if it's only me who managed such a convoluted mental somersault? also, please forgive me for venting in your inbox, i have no better place. but alas.

i thought myself a gay man for 10-ish years. and yet i had... very clear sexual attraction towards women, clear enough that i've genderswapped 80% of my fictional male crushes so they would have breasts and vaginas, while still considering them "men" because i kept their he/him pronouns. seeing females as men allowed me to tell myself i was only attracted to males. i think a mix of biphobia and lesbophobia, stirred into gender-think. i was only allowed to love women if they were actually "men". because it was ok to love men.

i had crushes on girls as a teen and i'd always feel gross and predatory when i shared the locker rooms with them. i remember so badly wanting to sneak looks at my crushes but doing all i could not to. bc i "knew" that it was wrong. however i never developed into accepting this same-sex attraction as normal, because i got swept up in genderism, and became a "man" and... all my attraction towards women suddenly felt EVEN MORE predatory and violating. i swept it away as male gaze, objectification, leering, still predatory. etcetera etcetera. genuinely did all i could to suppress/explain away my obsession with female bodies. i centered my male attraction, and as the trans movement is very male-centered to begin with it was only encouraged. people (straight females) calling themselves f*gs left and right. every time i started thinking about breasts (i'm boob obsessed for real) or having sex with women i pushed it down as male depravity. i also thought me wanting to fuck women had been conditioned into me by advertising. like, yes, of course everyone wants to have sex with women bc they are trained by society to want this :)) logical. this totally happens to all female people. oh you love the smell of pussy? advertising taught you this. -_-

obviously as a TIF, i felt somehow that male identity and pronouns was a prerequisite to be fully human/be the way i was inside. misogynistic as fuck. it seems i felt this for other women, too. you told me i'd feel the weight of the harm i'd done along the way, when i sent the first anon; this is a heavy one. having viewed women and myself this way for so long. and having written off my same-sex attraction (i salivate when i see bare chested women lol) because, well, i'm a "man" and i violate them with my eyes.

the power dynamic between TIFs is funny/tragic too. ssa ones being treated as if they're straight males and culpable for everything those do. osa ones being the ones with more social capital. bisexual ones centering males bc well, the whole movement shits on women and you don't wanna be "straight" or bi ending up in a "straight" relationship. a lesbian TIF just enters a world in which her attraction (which she's likely felt predatory for her whole life already) is REINFORCED as bad. because now she's a straight man. and when a real heterosexual male is not accessible to shit on, she will be the target of the "gay" ones. god, the trans community is such a complicated type of homophobia...

i feel so good now to be out of it. i've been butch my whole life, i had a buzzcut since i was 14, up until my 20s. tomboyish always. now i have a long braid, and i considered cutting it off when i peaked, but i can't bring myself to do it. i miss my breasts very much and my braid is a body part as well, one that i can still hold on to. i can't let it go. it means something to me, i suppose, symbolically. but i don't feel like i'm a man anymore, and my attraction towards women is not to blame for their oppression. it is so liberating. i no longer feel like i'm degrading or harming women by being attracted to them. and most of my friends who dropped me were osa TIFs, binary and nonbinary... they have a lot to lose if they should give up that identity. they'd get booted out the "queer" community, lose the oppression they built their identity on. it's weird looking back at them. ah, i ramble so much, but thank you, even if you don't end up posting this, for having a space open here to go to. it feels so valuable, and it helps to read others anons.

Oh, I've definitely read wilder somersaults. It's amazing how confusing it is when reality is upside down. A lesbian becomes a gay man, or a straight man depending on the identity of the women she's attracted to. All nonsense, but I do wonder if it allows people to contemplate relationships they had rejected previously. Like, if you're a straight man who decides he's a lesbian but then meets another TIM then you're supposed to also include him, or women might have idealized views that relationships with men might not be so bad if you can escape 'being the girl'. Women, according to the stats, are the most likely to twist ourselves into these pretzels, of course, female socialization at work. So, we must forgive ourselves and each other for our roles in all this.

I'm glad things are working out well for you. There are times when I feel isolated being gender critical, but then I remember the headache-inducing mental repression I had to endure to make myself believe all this and I feel much more free and real.

[sweaterkittensahoy]

Here's a fun Hobby Lobby story:

It's 2005. I walked into Hobby Lobby. At the time, I had no knowledge of their evangelicalism, and the public didn't know about the massive antiquities theft.

Yeah, they were closed on Sundays so "employees can worship with their families" (literally on the sign on the door), but I lived in the Ozarks and had grown up there as well. "Closed for church" was just something people put on their signs sometimes.

Anyway, I walked in to buy yarn, and I looked up as I was walking in, and above me on a GIANT BANNER was Chad Allen. The giant banner was advertising End of the Spear.

And here's the thing: I knew three things at this exact moment in 2005:

Hobby Lobby had at least SOME connection to the "shouting our religion means we're better than you" crowd of Christians I'd grown up with. Fundamentalism as we understand it today was definitely AROUND, but the wider knowledge of it and the vocabulary to describe it wasn't easily available in 2005. We were a decade from the Duggers hitting TLC and taking fundamentalist Christianity mainstream. But, the point is, I knew Hobby Lobby was braggart Christians.

I knew Chad Allen was gay as fuck. I don't recall HOW I found this out. But he was outed in 1996 due to a paparazzo asshole, and he officially came out. I assume I knew this because I was a big fan of Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman, and I had a crush and looked him up online sometime in 1997 when we got the internet at the house.

I knew I was bisexual. I'd figured it out in high school, and this was a few years after. And so I knew first hand how "shouting religion" Christians felt about the queers.

With these pieces of information combined, I found myself just standing awkwardly on the little rug in front of the entrance and staring at the giant Chad Allen and suddenly understanding marketing on a level I had never known before.

End of the Spear was a religious movie (murdered missionaries, the "savage natives" turn to god" sub-type). Dr. Quinn was a TV show that regularly mentioned/showed characters praying to God (yes, it had aired on CBS, for anyone who had a sudden question). Chad Allen played the eldest son on Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman.

This very religious movie was being advertised very loudly in the midst of a religious store because there was an expectation that people who liked Dr. Quinn shopped at Hobby Lobby and would see Chad Allen and go, "Oh, he's such a nice boy on Dr. Quinn! And it's a wholesome movie! We should check it out!"

And I was left there in butqueer.exe crashing, rebooting, and crashing several times in a row before I was able to go about my shopping. Because I had the sudden realization that my internet searches for a guy I thought was cute were NOT a universal experience.

[iwonderwh0]

Watching saltburn because I hear too much about it

Spoilers ahead!!! If you haven’t seen it but planning on, scroll away, cuz there are some twists that are worth experiencing first-hand. The internet made it look like it’s gonna be some trash shock movie, but it’s a really false advertisement I’d say.

Ohh, I love the beginning, it promises theatrical, level of over the top drama, just how I like

Thank god there are subtitles I can barely understand their accent

Damn, I just thought about how what I know about this movie reminds me of “Bright Young Things” and now one of the characters straight-out mentions the novelist who wrote the “Vile Bodies” (screenplay the movie Bright Young Things is based on) was basically writing about his family. Okay, so that was really spot-on impression

What’s Felix’s deal? 🤔 it looks suspiciously like love-bombing from his side what he’s doing

Damn, Oliver might be as weird as that math nerd with anger issues if not weirder. Only 20 minutes in, and our protagonist is already a creepy stalker

Oliver what the fuck, what was this sudden condescending parent mode switch with cleaning up as if just to be arrogant about it 😂

I feel like Felix might be in danger, I don’t trust Oliver anymore

Honestly I’m not even sure if Oliver is telling the truth, he might be straight out lying to gain sympathy, kinda looks like it

I really don’t understand why Felix keeps Oliver around. I don’t think he likes him that much as he is trying to show at all, and he already showed his gratitude for that bike. It’s like he needs him for something maybe?

Oh so Oliver did tell the truth

What does Felix wanttttttt I’m so confused

The complete shift of the room to instantly shower Oliver with compliments what’s up with that? Is it some rich people thing??

And instantly back to talking shit about the person who just left! Damn that really is theatrical shit

“But he spoke Russian all the time and it just sounded so romantic” lmaoooo no it did not 😭

The way they talk!! Jesus Fucking Christ, what an impressive skill of bullshitting. Absolutely no one mean what they say, that’s even impressive

Oh, MGMT!

Oh, I’ve heard something about the bath scene

Belle Delphine bath water, is that it? Is that the level of gross that impressed people?

The fucking mind games everybody is playing oh boy

I don’t understand what’s going on anymore

Is Oliver just trying to prove he’s not gay?

Oh the fucking song pick oh my god this is painful to watch and I don’t even like Oliver

I’ll have to watch some explanation after this movie, it’s so confusing, what happened

Oh, will it turn out that he lied about everything?

SO I WAS RIGHT ABOUT SUSPECTING IT

Oh my god

Oh my god

Fuckkkking Oliver the migraines he just keeps going Jesus Christ

Is he gonna kill Felix? I feel like someone will get killed, maybe even on accident

Wait but HOW

Was it the wine?

Is he stabbed to the ground, why can’t they move him?

The lunch scene, red curtains, wine that overflows the glass ohhh boy I love that

Oh here goes the gravefucking

Wait, I thought the movie is about to end, but there’s still quite some time on the timeline

Oh for FUCK’S SAKE this was so sudden

“Is everything alright?” God are you stupid? What kind if question is that 😭😭😭

Ohhhhhh the reveal

Ohhhh so it was the wine

Damn

I actually liked it a lot

As a movie I mean

And Oliver is such a realistic psychopath in a way he pretends to be harmless pathetic loser, oh my god, Good job

[firlachiel]

Honestly? Thinking about how funny the Shardlake monks are. They're The Abbott aka The Leader (he doesn't know shit about fuck except that he is not in control and people are dying but what's Worse is he has to Entertain Guests) Scottish McMurderFace (the only shred of humanity shown is briefly to the Leader who is actively accusing him of killing one or two people and is just as surprised as everyone else he didn't do any of *these* crimes and murders) Short One (is Evilest of all and Good At Math so we should have seen that coming) Gay One (he is innocent your honor! Also ogling Jack whenever opportunity permits) The Coroner (this might be set in Tudor England but some murder mystery conventions must be followed, dammit) Too Good For This Sinful Earth, Too Pure (RIP baby monk, I hope Heaven has less assholes) And Zoidberg (Trauma Monk Who Isn't Part of this Order, and that feeling is mutual).

Feat. HorseFly (Bugge is not a Monk but he is Annoying. Down to help hide a body at leas)

That being said, I want a workcom set at Murder Monastery so bad lol

---------------

Zoidberg took me out xDDDDD

I would SO watch a workcom of the murder monastery! Start when the abbot arrives first at the monastery (internal promotion our outside hire?), with McMurderFace fresh from the battle field in tow, Dwight style, assistant reg assistant TO the regional manager, has to have daily meetings about how you can't talk to monks like soldiers and cursing in a house of god is kind of a nono even if it gets them moving faster and "Yes I know you get stabby before bed but maybe think about switching to crochet".

Short one has kinda always been around, no one likes him, and no one likes maths, so he gets to do that I guess. Ryan from the office if Ryan was less handsome. Probably monologues in his room about how he is the best and a gift to mankind and how dare nobody appreciate him and all that. Everyone is just grateful he's a monk and not a noble though I guess he wouldn't stick out so much with that crowd.

The coroner just wanted a break from war and never liked sun so he figured let's go to England. Their king even got the title "Defender of the faith" from the pope so... oh no. Victim of a classic false advertisement job ad. Deserves a raise and a transfer.

Baby monk... T_T He has to join in a later season I can't watch him get tormented for years.

Zoidberg sdjfgsdjfgjsdfjsdghfj, the nepo baby. Also gets daily meetings but more on the line of "If you like catholicism and French so much why don't you take a ship babes". Never does and god knows why. Maybe gets seasick or sth. Maybe he thinks he's a punishment to the rest since they abandoned their faith.

Bugge is all about the economy!

[thetreetopinn]

When the queer leftist atheist goes to a conservative thanksgiving

I am very tired.

It has been a very long day.

Mostly because I spent the last 48 hours helping my mother with 90% of all of the preparations for Thanksgiving--prepping something like ten items for everyone to eat--as well as clean up, organizing, table-setting, 5-year-old wrangling, etc.

But I am also very tired because of my brother-in-law.

See, they say something you should never talk about at Thanksgiving is politics, and fucking hell let me tell you what--I know that all too well. I'm the black sheep of the family when it comes to my politics. I have learned well to not say SHIT if I can help it. I will end up getting dog-piled on.

So yeah, keep my mouth shut, don't start nothin', won't be nothin'.

And then my brother-in-law looks me dead in the eye and asks me "Hey, do you have any bitcoin?"

That was how it started.

I replied with "No, I stay as far away from anything crypto-related as I possibly can."

He wanted to talk about his favorite sports personalities getting shafted by the crypto-crash and thought I'd be sympathetic.

I am not. Not in the slightest.

"They knew what they were getting into when they bought into an unregulated financial speculation instrument. It is a scam. Nothing more, nothing less. They're trying to speedrun every financial crisis that has happened since the great depression, and it looks like they succeeded."

He promptly shut up.

Preparations continue, discussions are had, there's a video that he and my sister are confused about because their kid is way into it, and they're not doing the picosecond of googling to find out what it is, so I do the hard work for them, find out it's inappropriate for someone so little, and they ban him from watching it. Brother-in-law starts going off on a mini-rant about media:

"It's gotten so bad you don't know who to trust, not even Disney, they're trying to brainwash kids."

I want to jump in. Oh fuck do I want to jump in so god damned badly. Holy shit do I want to just clap back with "Oh yeah? Brainwashing them how? EXACTLY? Is it be an even more ardent and fanatical devotee of the mouse so they will be excited to consume more product? Then yes, I agree. If you say the world 'woke' at all, then no, because Disney is absolutely not work. They axe shit all the time because it's "too woke" and queerbait constantly."

But I don't. I don't give him the rundown of what happened with the now deposed CEO who elected to not advertise the children's animated film that has an openly gay lead character so it would fail and use that as justification to axe more queer stories. I keep my fucking mouth shut.

We do the usual prayer around the table--as an atheist, I'm surprised I don't burst into flames--and while we're eating... my brother-in-law starts asking me about Mars.

"Do you think we'll ever get to Mars?"

Now... I know EXACTLY where this is going. I know PRECISELY who he wants to talk about. I know SPECIFICALLY where he wants to drive the subject... but I don't let him.

See, I'm a fucking space nerd and I can talk CIRCLES around the subject he wants to bullseye without ever straying into that maelstrom. Yes I know I'm mixing my metaphors. I don't care.

We have a legitimately decent discussion about the difficulties of spaceflight and traveling to another world and how NASA has provided so much spin-off technology and the actual benefits of having a human space flight program... even though he's trying--TRYING HIS DAMNEDEST--to bait me into something more provocative, whether he means it intentionally or not.

He sees he's not gonna get me this time and the discussion dies down.

Hours later, we're watching a movie, the credits roll, and I swear to you... completely unprovoked, not even mentioned anywhere in the film, nothing. Completely and utterly out of the blue:

"What are your thoughts on Jordan Peterson?"

Okay, sit down boo... we gonna have a FUCKIN' CHAT 'cause I got thoughts, feelings, and emotions.

You wanna go there? Let's go there. There is no FUCKING way he didn't know that was going to cause a problem. Peterson is too polarizing a figure. So I lay it on him as politely and gently as I can.

"I don't like him. He pushes a lot of wrong-headed ideology. He is a liar and a charlatan who has messianic thinking."

Hooo boy... turns out my brother-in-law is a Jordan Peterson stan.

Fucking great.

He starts in on the bullshit about making misgendering someone a crime you can be imprisoned for. I rebut with "no it's not, that's a lie"

He comes back with "I don't know where you get your information from" and "Just look it up, get out your phone and look up Jordan Peterson C-16"

So I fucking do, right there, in front of him.

In less than 30 fucking seconds, I find a legitimately credible source that says "No, Peterson is full of shit, it's not a crime, you can't be sent to jail for using the wrong pronouns" and I say "So he lied... like a liar."

And of course... because it runs counter to the narrative he wants to believe, he laughs derisively and dismisses me. I counter with "oh by the way, if you wanna come at me with that guy who was held in contempt for misgendering his child? That didn't happen either. He was held in contempt because the judge explicitly said to not discuss the matter of the court case in public, and he went and did that... even tried to raise money off of it. The judge slapped him with 'you were told explicitly not to do that, and you went and did it anyway"

Brother-in-law's response...

"Ah."

Just... fucking hell.

To my sister's credit, she saw where this was going the MINUTE he said the name "Jordan Peterson" and started packing everything up to haul the family home. She knew her husband was baiting me, she knew he was doing it all fucking day, and he finally got me to take that bait.

They left, and it was just me and my parents.

I apologized to them for getting argumentative, but it's something that's deeply important to me, to fight back against those false narratives that have gotten people killed--RECENTLY.

There was a... 'discussion' to be had, and my parents trotted out the same, tired centrist talking points "How do we get back to where we can just have a normal, civilized conversation and respect each other even if we disagree?"

THIS IS NOT SOMETHING YOU CAN RESPECT

PUSHING THE DANGEROUS AND LIFE-THREATENING MISINFORMATION PETERSON AND HIS ILK PUSH ABOUT TRANS PEOPLE GETS THEM--AND QUEER PEOPLE IN GENERAL--KILLED. YOU DO NOT POLITELY ARGUE WITH THAT.

You try to gently educate if you can. You provide documentation and sources and evidence if possible. But you do. not. DEBATE. This is not a discussion.

My dad whips out this "When I was your age or younger I too had a lot of really strong opinions. I felt like my opinion was the most important one and everyone should agree with me."

And I stomped down HARD on that shit:

"I'm sorry... is that what you think of me? Do you really think I believe my opinion is the most important one? If that's what you genuinely think then we need to have a COMPLETELY DIFFERENT discussion."

It took me 30 god damn minutes to get both my mom and my dad to come around to the simple idea of "this isn't just a difference of opinion, this is pushing back against dangerous misinformation that gets people killed" and even then... they clearly didn't fully get where I was coming from.

My mom brought up "well I hear all this hateful stuff from the LGBTQIA+ whatever community"

"What hateful stuff, specifically? I wanna address it."

"Well... all this... you know... they force little kids to have surgery-"

"That doesn't happen. That is a lie. No doctor will perform gender affirming surgery on anyone under 18. And HRT, they will not provide that if you're 12 or younger. If you're talking about puberty blockers, those are completely safe and reversible--even though getting them is extremely difficult. You can't just go to the doctor and ask for them and boom... your child suddenly has HRT and new genitals. It takes YEARS sometimes just to take the first step--EVEN FOR ADULTS."

"Then why do politicians keep saying it?"

"They lie. They lie to keep you afraid. To keep you hating the 'right' kind of people. To keep you whipped up and voting for them. That's why."

Mom didn't like that. I don't know if she accepted it or not.

When I asked her point blank "Do you think gay and trans people should be allowed to exist with the same rights as straight and cis people?" she DID say that she does think they should.... so... at least her heart is in the right place I guess.

I didn't hear an answer from my dad on the point.

But they really REALLY wanted to make it sound like it was MY fault for rising to my brother-in-law's bait. Motherfucker was TRYING, and god damn did he fucking succeed.

Mom trotted out the "Whatever you wanna do in your own home, that's fine. I just don't want it in my face."

That's when I started talking about representation in media, how straight cis people are EVERYWHERE... from a queer perspective, heteronormativity is shoved in THEIR faces from every angle.

I went on to talk about the Hayes Code, which neither of them had heard about, the 'bury your gays' trope, the fact that the queer community loves Disney villains like Jafar, Ursula, Scar, etc. because of queer coding

Because "well if this is the only representation we get, then we'll take it and make it our own"

I told them about Strange World and how the former CEO tries to bury it because of his raging homophobia.

My mom was shocked... ACTUALLY SHOCKED... about the queer coding of Disney villains.

"That's wild... I never saw them like that, they were just bad guys in Disney movies to me."

"Yeah... exactly my point. You don't see it. Queer people do. And if you can only see yourself in the villain... what's that say? That tells you that's what the world sees you as."

I went on with: "Why is it that when we see a little boy and a little girl being boyfriend and girlfriend in movies and what not, it's cute and innocent, but if it's a little boy and a little boy or a little girl and a little girl, it's suddenly SEXUALLIZED!? Why isn't the little boy and the little girl seen as sexual?"

Neither mom nor dad could answer.

Eventually, it came back to: "How do we get back to having rational, civilized discussions again?"

"I don't know, but as long as a person's right to exist is up for debate, there is no civil discourse to be had. It's either you get to have rights, or you don't, and one of those is fascism."

I can see their desire to want to do the right thing, to be okay with people different than themselves... but they've just swallowed so much bullshit propaganda over the years, and they continue to. I don't know if I reached my dad. I feel like maybe I reached my mom. We don't fully agree on abortion--like, she is concerned for the life of the innocent or whatever wording she actually used, but she damn sure doesn't like the idea of the government having a say in what you can and can't do with your body.

At least we are in full agreement on that front. I tried to frame that as 'right to privacy'... but then she brought it straight back over to the vaccination card.

*LOUD, ANGRY, QUEER, LEFTIST SIGH*

"A woman's right to chose to get an abortion does not affect the life of a person she bumps into at the store. Whether or not she is vaccinated can kill that same stranger--and has killed people. I am 100% in favor of everyone having personal liberties and freedoms... but the very second your personal liberty results in someone else's death--some random person you ran into at the store or on the street... that's when it becomes something else entirely"

We also had a discussion about abortion--about when they happen the most, about why someone gets a late-term abortion, about how there are so many potential carve-outs that the government ought to allow that I just said "at that point, why do all this fucking means testing? Just give them abortion care. They're already going through enough heartbreak as it is, just let them make their choice and not be judged or criminalized for it."

There wasn't a response after that.

Dad started turning up the volume on the TV at a certain point. I think he was fucking done with me. And you know what? That's fine. I don't need his approval. I don't need his blessing. I don't even need him to fucking agree with me.

People should have the right do what they want with their own bodies. If he disagrees with that, then he's in favor of state regulated bodily control, and that's fucking fascism.

Yes, that does mean I have to be in favor of a good many things that I might disagree with--like surgically altering yourself to look like a cat... yeah, that weirds me out... but whatever, it's your body. Do what you want with it.

You wanna smoke or chew or dip or whatever? I'm not particularly fond of it, and I have some VERY strong feelings about the tobacco industry... but... it's your body. Just don't force ME to breathe your second hand smoke. I already have enough respiratory issues. It comes back to that whole personal liberties affecting another person thing.

God I'm so fucking tired.

There are so many other, better educated, better practiced, better tempered people who can handle this kind of discussion.

I hate having to be a queer elder for my own fucking family when I came to the community so late in life... especially when I have literally zero support among them.

"You just get so... so... mad."

"YEAH... BECAUSE PEOPLE ARE LITERALLY DYING BECAUSE OF THIS SHIT. WHY AREN'T YOU MAD!??!"

I think I may have to take a pass on meeting up with everyone for Christmas. If this is the direction it's gonna go again... I'm not sure I can handle it. My brother-in-law clearly wants to bait me into this shit and I don't have it in me to stay out of it.

I hope everyone had a better thanksgiving than this.

Love and solidarity.

Trans rights. Gay Rights. Reproductive Rights. Black Lives Matter. Land Back. All of this good stuff.

I just don't have the strength to handle all of it all of the time, and the world seems content to force me to do so more often than I'm able.

I could use a hug.

[sapphicrpc]

hows ur group the game going? i just finished alice in borderland season 2 👀

OH MY GOD i am so hyperfixated on how much i love my gay dad aguni .... this s2 just solidified the fact he was defo in love with the hatter and is 2000% girldad soft teddy bear in big tough guy body for me. i love this show so damn much

the ladies fucking DOMINATED this season but also chishiya ?!?!? CAN WE TALK ABOUT CHISHIYA?!? AND MIRA OH MY GOD SHES SO HOT I WANT HER TO GASLIGHT ME (REAL) and omfg.... my babies kuina and ann fuck they are just the cutest i CRIED at that scene anon... SOBBED. kuinann forever !!

my alice in borderland group is doing good! we had a break over the holidays as a lot of people were busy, myself included, but i'll be advertising new roles for people to join very soon! there will be maybe 2-3 open places so keep ur eyes peeled 👀

[raydianbluesandhues]

WAIT OH YEAH and the inky marshalls too. i think dean inky and russian (why were they given that name.) inky are gay but thats just me

oh the marshalls! i have. some thoughts

--

so the marshalls.

I like to think that, for a while, Comrade was handling Prisma by himself. The only marshall that was with him at the time was Von, and even then Comrade was the one pulling all the strings. Von only gave him advice and nothing more than that

even though. I do believe Von was involved with the creation of the Blanc cult and played a major role in it. Also gave Comrade the idea for the Papa Blanc persona because let's be honest I don't think Comrade would think of that on his own

With the growing threat of Blob approaching him I do believe Von also gave him the vague idea of rigging the election to win it (albeit unfairly)

Essentially Von was his right-hand man up until that point, where after the attempted coup at the Senate he knew he had to step up his game

I do believe it was at this point that the Hypno Ray was under construction, and he needed to focus on that instead of constantly being in the limelight and controlling things directly. So he gave directions to the Marshalls and basically gave them control over different parts of Raydia

Dean Inky, for example, has control over the college.

Dean Inky I think has a very... soft personality. he seems like the nicer one out of the marshalls and he isn't exactly a fan of his fucking house being VANDALIZED. He was literally inside his house!!!! watching these students go apeshit (reasonably) and he did NOT want to get involved (good for him tbh)

but I think he isn't really taken seriously and he didn't really. get a lot of help because Comrade was doing something else entirely and he was just surrounded by these revolting college students

Skier and Arctic Inky are brothers. Arctic is very monotone and tends to keep to himself a lot, dislikes talking to people. probably autistic

Skier is much more extroverted and very confident. he knows his self-worth he does try to get his brother to loosen up a bit to no avail, he does care for him though, and helps him out since I think Arctic has a tendency to just. not fucking do it if it's too much for him

we already know about Von

Cowboy Inky oh my god. He def has that cowboy accent,,, and is probably VERY loud. he will NOT stop shouting he needs to SHUT UP. He has no volume control. he's appeared in a few ads (which is based on him being in an ad in one of the extra de Blob cutscenes) and outside of being a marshall he probably does advertisements on the side

Knight Inky... honestly i don't have much for him other than he's very violent. he's all about fighting and bloodshed and all that stuff. it's honestly quite scary but it impressed Comrade enough to have him be the one mapping out the battle plans

Russian Inky. yeah idk why he has that name either but I don't have any name ideas either. he's quiet and observant, not an inky of many words. when he does speak it's to correct someone or to state his own opinion. or to insult you.

i think he views Dean as weak because he got his ass beat by college students, but he's a lil sympathetic because he was on his own. i don't think Dean has his own troops, unlike literally everyone else. Russian feels sorry for him

there may be something there but I do think they'd be too busy to really pursue anything

[beileil]

OPPAI Calling Card - Final

So it occurs to me that I never actually posted a calling card for OPM Bingo once the Monster Arc was officially over...which was what, two months ago? Whatever, here it is now.

The bingo cards came out on June 20th, so this covers everything from Chapter 165 on. That's not a lot of chapters to work with, so we're going to be uh...a little liberal on some of these so that you can cross off more spaces. I'd still be kinda surprised if anyone got a bingo. (But please let me know if you did! And please post your final cards if you like!)

Thanks again to @scary-senpai and everyone who submitted suggestions! This was a ton of fun!

Canon

Yet another character ends up naked

Tsundere Garou

A Really Gay Moment™ (a couple SaiGenos and one of Tanktop Al Dente looking respectfully at Zombieman, as pointed out by @no1monstersimp)

Something BAD™ happens to Genos' core or skull (WHO SUGGESTED THIS ONE. I'm not mad. I just want to know.)

Garou's physical body collapses because he's exceeded the Recommended Daily Amount of Enlightenment (gotta be honest, wasn't expecting to be able to cross this one off!)

Metal Bat vouches for Garou

God takes Garou's power away and Garou fucking DIES

Blast and the Interdimensional Justice League show up

Zombiedad being protective of Isamu

Black Sperm is up to no good. Again. *

Pig God uses a Special Attack *

Rover lends an unexpected assist * (Rover also lends an unexpected assist to my mental health with these panels)

*Happened in the aftermath of the MA Arc in Chapter 171 or 172, not in the arc itself, but screw it, we need a win.

Arguably Canon

BDSM if you squint (I didn't know which panel to link here. I just feel in my heart of hearts that a lot of the Saitama and Garou fight gave off vibes. But if you prefer, here's a shot of Strange Binding Shell hiding out by Bomb. Surely his entire existence counts as BDSM!)

Saitama does/says something controversial yet again (Take your pick.)

Tank Toppers band together to do a special Tank Top Attack

Metal Knight shows up, takes some data, leaves. (Didn't say he couldn't take everyone with him!)

Someone shows up with a magic radiation cure (bonus: it’s bananas) (Science is magic, right?)

Amai Mask tries to kill Manako again (It's not a proper attempt, but he would have if Flashy hadn't stepped in)

It's a stretch, but whatever

Amai Mask spotted in Monster Mode (same panel as the last. do the neck veins count as "Monster Mode"?)

“Are you there, God? It’s me, [Blorbo].” (Probably not the original intention of whoever suggested this one, but here's Bang screaming at God to give Garou back.)

King says/does something clever that buys the heroes some time

???

God rage quits the arc

God takes Garou's power away and Garou survives because he's just That Cool (God did take Garou's power away, and Garou did survive, but it certainly was not because he was cool!)

Psykos shows back up and everyone admits they completely forgot about her

Look, you can't prove it's not canon

King has the power of God (no ID) and anime on his side

Jossed

Yet another character loses an arm (Zombieman doesn't count)

Iaian gets his face stomped on

A single panel of Watchdog Man minding his own business in City Q

BDSM if you *don't* squint

Murata breaks the fourth wall to explain the re-draws

Sonic comes out of the bathroom

Garou kicks Genos (just because)

Psykos tries to take a hostage

God (no ID) takes something Psykos can't afford to lose

Metal Bat and Tareo have a moment

Mizuki pole vaults over something

Flashy Flash uses the Sun Blade

Saitama offers Garou a banana

Bang advertises his dojo

Garou gets a hug

Somebody speaks to God's manager

Garou copies The King Engine

Mumen Rider attacks Garou…with forgiveness! (And definitely not his bike.)

Sekingar calls his wife and/or she shows up to the battlefield

Kama and Bushidrill flirt again, Iaian deadpans in the corner

Tank Top Master and Mumen Rider pine for one another

Badd tells Zenko that it was just a really long bathroom break and she hits him again

The Blizzard Group protects Tatsumaki

Atomic Samurai's disciples protect him

Someone uses an impractical household object as a weapon

Fubuki + Psykos = Lesbians

Charanko shows up late

[knifefightscene]

no but seriously therapists can fucking suck. my bf’s (we’re gay, i’m trans) therapist kept calling me his “friend” and he was like “…. what friend exactly?” and then after he cancelled one apt after that she was like “i’ll get the next one scheduled” then ghosted him. also my first “therapist” who advertises herself as one never had any degree relating to it. her degree was in interpretive dance and she had no others. then told my mom that “most transgenders are just a phase. she’ll grow out of it” lmfao

God yeah bad therapists exist I’m sorry you have to experience that i feel bad that even actively trying to heal can make u worse due to bad shrinks its unfair that we have to deal with that

[dnickels]

dalziel and pascoe annoys the shit out of me because i read one of the books while sunbathing on holiday when i was about 8 (i stole it from my mum), and in it it described wieldy as this monstrously hideous creature that everyone flinches from and screams and faints when they see him, etc., and the trick is that actually he's a big gay softie with a nice old bookshop-owning husband, the quasimodo with a heart of gold, etc.

so when i got home from that holiday and saw itv advertising a new season of d&p i was like "oh wow, i can't wait to see this absolute freak of a man with my own eyes" and begged my mum to let me stay up til 9pm to watch it with her.

BUT it was just a random guy??? he's not even particular uggo!! i wouldn't look twice at him in the street let alone need my smelling salts. i felt so ripped off.

HE'S GAY??????? I'm like five episodes in and he's already made passionate love to a (lady) murder suspect oh my GOD. They straightwashed him! Our rare an precious "Horrible right wing moral monster that everyone hates" representation!! (serious)

Yeah they are so hard on poor Warren Clarke, every other scene is like "shove it up your ass you big fat fuck" which is kind of funny because-- well, "I would like to find out who committed the murder"/ "you can blow me, pig" is a winning exchange every time. They do occasionally have him shove his hand down his pants and adjust his balls in the middle of his workplace, or a very crowded pub at like eight in the evening, which is-- well its a very funny thing to do, but they don't have him do it often enough to be a consistent character thing, so it just comes across as bizarre every time. I definitely feel like I'm in the dark for not being au fait with the source material, its weirdly bland as an adaption of a series that seems like it has-- if not hidden depths, then at least something weird going on.

Anyways this is why tumblr's great I post about a nineties show that absolutely no one under the age of 65 could possible have watched and one of my 30 followers is like "ah yes, I recall it well, Mother and I were on holiday sunbathing and taking the air..." fucking fantastic. Is he really gay or are you just fucking with me?

Wait is this an april fools??????

[butchdykekondraki]

LOVELYYYY OKAY SO . :) do u like the trafficsmps?? do you like the conflicts and wars that happen in smps in general?? then come watch lifesteal smp!!!!

it's been nicknamed the "deadliest smp" and if you were to ask me to carry the traffic comparison, i'd call it trafficsmp on drugs. /hj

the rules of the game are pretty simple:

you start with ten hearts. if you lose all your hearts, you're banned (until the next season, at least). you can gain hearts, though - any kill you get on a player takes one of their hearts, and gives it to you - so you can have well over ten, depending on how good you are. (one of the cc!s, clownpierce, at one point had like twenty-something during season 3)

there's not a MASSIVE overarching story, but there is enough lore and story to actually keep people that are into that interested; alliances made, betrayal cast, blah blah, you get the drill. certain thhings have actually been banned recently, like uhh. tridents got banned after season 2, because of things like a fight between clownpierce and another cc i forgot, in which the other cc just kept using a riptide trident to bounce back and forth between water spots and the fight went on for, uh, way too fuckin long because of it.

it's got four seasons so far!! certain ccs join later on. also theres a lot of gay people.

half of these people don't have playlists themselves, but fanbases have made them!! theyre just a little hard to track down. also @\renchant is working on uploading clownpierce's vods!!

there is also a fair amount of angst. the ending of season two made us cry like a bitch /hj.

as for ccs uh!!! some of our favourites are:

clownpierce, joined in season 2. is very into the clown motif, even built a circus and a funhouse in s3. absolutely one of the best fighters on the fucking server, like i said, at one point in s3 he had like twenty fucking hearts. sarcastic asshole kinda sometimes. gets shoved into a preconcieved "villain" role but honestly hes just a total dorkass trying to act intimidating /aff (< my clownpierce was also my husband in my canon)

roshambo (me!!), been here since the start. absolute fucking loser of a man im gonna be honest with you. the cc has a fucking obsession with poop jokes for some reason and has a semi-trend of "they call me the (xyz)" here whenever he does something well. i.e, "they call me the interior designer". theyre a little insane. /aff

mapicc!, also been here since the start. the best way i can explain this man is all the rage of a chihuahua in a human form. he is constantly starting fights and insulting people and making the most fucking unhinged statements you could ever imagine. i swear to god he has a death wish but its funny as fuck. (also roshambo and mapicc are A Pair. their name is dualityduo if anyone was curious :D)

planetlord, i do not remember off the top of my head when he joins, is the fucking server blorbo. everyone loves them. hes iconic. hes just A Guy. they are vibing and doing his fucking Best.

branzy, joins in the third season. fucking unhinged and amazing with redstone, he helps clown rig literal roulette machines and shit in a casino they build. not onyl that, he rigs it so that clown can fucking cheat the machines. hes amazing. he is also an absolute golden retriever of a man and we love him for it. big dork that is also absolutely terrifying. /vpos.

this concludes my advertisement of the lifesteal smp everyone should go and watch it because i think a good majority of the people on this blog would enjoy it tbh. also we want more lifesteal friends. /silly -ro

WAUHGh !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! /POS THANK U RO ^_^