#god it feels so good to be done w it | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

soulmvtes · 8 months

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just submitted my last essay!!!!!

#god it feels so good to be done w it #feels like i haven't even been able to properly enjoy january as much bc of having to do them in a rush but i'm so glad it's over now #looking forward to spending the rest of the month resting a little and reading and seeing friends etc <3 #i feel like the month started off rly slow n tiring (not bad just long) but this week has been nice so far and i'm feeling good i think !#diary #tiyas thoughts

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luck-of-the-drawings · 6 months

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"And soda; runs off into the street..." "...and soda... is totally okay!"

#jrwi fanart #jrwi show #jrwi suckening #cw blood #something something cracking open a boy w the cold ones #IF THERE ARE ANY MISTAKES I MISSED I SWWWEAR TO JEBEDIAH. IF I STARE AT THIS ANYMORE IM GONNA DIE IT NEEDS TO BE DONE #ALSO RRRAAAHAHHHGHGH CAN I JUST TAKEA SECOND TO SCREEAAMM ABT HOW MUCH I LOVE SODA AND EMIZEL.. LIKE THERYE SO CUTE....#THEY ARE HOMIES THAT KISS EACHOTHR GOODNIGHT. THEY CARE SO MUCH FOR EACHOTHER. SODA LOVES SODA AND SODA LOVES YOU #do u guys remember how willing he was to share blood w his vampire bestie. like cmon. remember when emizel memorized sodas Soda Schedule.#LIKE CMON.... they just have eachothers backs so much. ouhhh my god... ANYWAY SO THE ART HUH. I FEEL LIKE I SCRAMBLED W IT FOR A WHILE #DRAWIN IS HARD..... i think i did well in the end tho.. i like the lil heart beat effects. and i hope i made soda look Suffieciently Scared #i ALSO had fun w the teeth. i however did not have fun w the walls. if i had more drugs i mightve done every brick in more detail #but i didnt WANNA!!!! this will suffice.I HOPE IT FLOWS WELL&THAT ITS CLEAR... IVE STARED AT IT SO LONG IT IS NOW VISUAL SOUP. HELP!!!#i want my comics to have more Pauses and Space and Thought and Momence. i feel like normally they go so fast. but THIS time #i think i did good.... huuoouhhhh.... comics are HARD art is HARD but i am HARDER. or something. OH YEAH I HAVE MORE ART THINGS #soda was RLY HARD FOR ME TO DRAW FOR A MINUTE..but i like where his design is now. i wanted his hair to be curly swirly.like soda fizz #i THINK thats all my thoughts for now. if u have thoughts u should spill them in the tags i looooove reading tttaaggsss #have a goodnight i gotta go to work soon. maybe. unless the casinos power goes out AGAIN. OR SEOMTHING... UUGHHH MY SCHEDULE IS IN SHAMBLES #I THOUGHT I WAS WORKIN 3 DAYS INA ROW SO I RENTED A WHOLE DAMN HOTEL BC THE JOB PLACE IS FAR AWAY.. I HAD TO CANCEL THE WHOLE RESERVATOn #annd im MMMMAD ABOUT IT!!! like ill get over it ofc BUT IM PEEVED!!!! IM INCONVIENIENCED AND GENTLY AGGRIVATED. BUT OVERALL FINE.#hope yalls weekend goes well. sleep well. if u get the chance to.

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dukeofthomas · 23 days

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I'm so mad that so far the only good robin!jason content i've ever found is his original run. Everything i've seen since has just been making him out to be the Angry Bad Problem Child and victim blaming him for dying. How is it that the only fucking good characterization of him is 20 issues from the 1980s

#my dc posting #jason todd #dc #jaybin #robin jason todd #i love jaybin so much but by god there is no fucking content #ppl are just obsessed w making him out to be Bad and Angry to make him becoming red hood make more sense in their heads #look thats what he was always going to be. that what he was always on the track for. look at how angry and unstable he was #SHUT UPPP #from comics anything told to me abt his time as robin after his death means nothing to me #everyone has a different version of canon in their mind and mine will never include a single bit of info abt jaybin said after his death #i have the most horrible brainrotting ''he would not fucking say that'' abt jaybin. nobody gets him like i dooo #<- said as someone who has been angry and problematic and difficult since a young age bc of trauma and mental illness and shit #AND JASON WASNT EVEN HALF AS BAD AS ME #im gonna go reread his og robin run. my safe space #sorry im being soooo annoying abt jaybin rn i just. i love him #i feel like most people only see jaybin as the precursor to red hood #jaybin is only worth something as the backstory of red hood #which like. its fine to like the red hood version of him most #but i like jaybin :( he's my robin. like if there's a robin in a story i'd want it to be jason #so many fics would be sooo good to me if they did not unnecessarily have jason arguing with bruce abt the no-kill thing while STILL ROBIN??#like what are we doing thereeee #ok sorry im done being annoying and venty and whiny now

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queerdiazs · 4 months

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tease tidbit tuesday 🫧

bet yall forgot i moonlight as a writer lmao

Buck, red-faced with his brows knit so close together they’re nearly one, snarls his lip in disgust. He doesn’t say anything and instead cups his palms around Abbie Jean’s elbows, pulling her carefully up out of the pool and passing her off to a paramedic. Once she’s wrapped in a blanket and shuttled off, he turns to stare back down at Eddie. (Buck is so hot when he’s pissed off, holy shit.) Eddie offers a smile. It isn’t received well. Shaking his head, Buck reaches down and knots his hand in the front of Eddie’s t-shirt. He hauls Eddie all the way up and out of the water, and Eddie would be impressed and probably turned on if Buck didn’t look like he’s ready to tear the whole world apart.

tagged by @loveyouanyway and @wikiangela, mwah

tagging @spagheddiediaz, @jeeyuns, @neverevan, @exhuastedpigeon, @actualalligator, @honestlydarkprincess, @rogerzsteven, @underwaterninja13, @devirnis, and @monsterrae1 if any of you have something you want to share!

#writing has been a bitch lately and i'm not exactly sure why #(i do know why. it's because the season is keeping me on my toes and i need it to end so i can digest everything that's happening)#(also i've been rlly insecure with my writing the past few weeks because it feels very juvenile and lackluster and stale 😪)#the good news though is that mr hoa eddie only has 1 more chapter left to go? THE FINISH LINE IS RIGHT THERE.#and now that i'm done w the climax i can write him getting bent in half over his kitchen table and fucked real good and raw #but phew going back through and editing 75k? my god #BUT AFTER THAT? I HAVE SO MANY OTHER IDEAS?#and this is why i need the season to end so i can get back to my writing groove. dammit.#always way off topic but mr eddie was in rare form in 6.01 like who let that man look like a slutty malewife #fUCK <3 #tag games

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butchfortress · 5 months

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oh heavy weapons guy. light of my life. why am I always unsatisfied with drawing thou

#fc sketches #remembered that i can actually disable reblogs on posts so i can post wips whenever i want 💪#but actually i always feel like the way im satisfied with drawing heavy comes in waves #usually im good w it and i go 'oh yeah this is great thats him!' but then i get hit with the worst wave of 'oh god what have i done to him'#so uuugh. if anyone has any tips on drawing him my inbox is open #:')#tf2 heavy

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mariemariemaria · 9 months

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Does anybody else feel like mental health awareness has done very little to help them in material reality

#i was gonna say done nothing to help but that seemed too harsh #like there definitely is more knowledge about it now. maybe more people feel comfortable speaking about it which is good #but personally i don't feel that. like idk. workplaces will post about mental health awareness and then do nothing to help employees #the same w universities. my uni cut back the already meager mental health support #and then the government is doing absolutely fuck all as well #like idk im just back in a place i thought id gotten out of long ago and i still don't feel comfortable talking about it with people #maybe that's a me problem or maybe it's cultural or something idk. but in the 10 years ive been depressed (🫠) i don't think it's gotten a #whole lot better. teenagers are still dealing with the same shit i did and they're still not being taken seriously #women's mental health is not even spoken about.....anxiety depression sh eds etc are still ignored or seen as hysterical behaviour in women #or just normal esp with disordered eating. society hasn't changed people still want women to be stick thin and weak #like i know 10 years is a short time and there has been massive improvements in mh awareness if we look back over the past 50+ years #but idk i just think that it hasn't gotten better for a lot of people #i think specifically of belfast and like god. the amount of trauma there is the amount of homelessness the amount of substance abuse #drug abuse in particular that has gotten visibly worse over the past decade or so*#and i connect the dots n see the 2008 recession + a tory gov defunding the nhs + dehumanisation of homeless people & addicts + the troubles #+ ptsd + generational trauma + a negative peace + classism + paramilitary drug dealers + parties linked to those paramilitaries #and its like hmmmm i think we live in a society. and a mental health approach based on individual actions like journaling and meditation #isn't the way to go. or at least is not the be all and end all which is what a lot of mental health awareness raising seems to promote #*visibly worse on the streets. it was always a problem ofc but even a decade ago my parents never imagined it would be as bad as it is now #and it's become so normalised. i do think there's less individualism here than there seems to be elsewhere which can be good and can be bad #but i think we are becoming more and more individualistic. slowly. there's still a sense of community here but i do think it's changing #and callousness towards homeless people is one of the most obvious examples of this.#love when i put a wee asterisk in the tags of a post. like i have A Lot To Say lol

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baeshijima · 9 months

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it is now officially the 25th which means...

merry christmas everyone !!! regardless of whether u celebrate or not, i hope u all have a lovely day with whoever u spend it with or with urself <33

#sophie's idle chatter #this is scheduled so im HOPING it posts at 12 am.... prays....#i havent been super active in the past month or two bc life is kicking my ass (<- has said this countless times already but its still true)#also !! i see asks and ill try and answer them when i actually have the time and energy 😭 ik i say this a lot but ive been drained good god #(not so) mini life updates :#the new lovebrush chronicles main story update has made me weep so much... ive done both clarence and ayns routes and....#my god.... this story is darker and honestly im loving it AND i love how they did the chara roles in this world (alkaid... ourgh...)#my tear glands arent tho bc ayn ending 3.... what the fuck was that i couldnt sleep after doing that ending??? ITS WAS SO SAD AND FOR WHATF #currently having to wait until the 27th so i can do lars route 😔#the recent ep of apothecary diaries.... ourgh my heart.... jinshi and maomao beloveds :((#oh !! and ive gotten back into my ace of diamonds/daiya no ace phase and have been rewatching the series...#sobbing chris and yuki and miyuki my beloveds.... kissing ur foreheads and holding u gently.....#the way i got back into it bc im catching up on s2 of a clean sweep (a korean baseball variety show that i love with all my heart ;w;)#my mum is a traitor tho bc she watched every new ep that came out on tuesdays while i was in uni 🧍‍♀️ so now im catching up on the 30 eps #on my own 🧍‍♀️#OMG AND ALSO DR STONE S3??? WHY WAS I NOT NOTIFIED THAT PART 1 CAME OUT MONTHS AGO AND PART 2 WAS MORE RECENT???#i havent been doing that much writing recently tho bc the fingers wont type but the brain is exploding with ideas i cannot handle this #i do want to get back to the haitham sxf series tho.... and also my oc various x reader series.......#tbh ive been contemplating abt publishing the haitham series on ao3 once i write more chapters before publishing them #idk i feel like the series would be nice to have on ao3 as well as tumblr JHDG #thats abt it i think?#anywho if u read this far then know i am giving u a warm cookie as a condolence prize for getting through this life dump <33 #ill leave it off here but i hope u all have a lovely day !! mwah mwah merry chrysler everyone 🎄🫶#queue... ueueue

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carcarrot · 3 months

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well that was a shortlived good feeling about my job

#maybe i should just become unemployed. maybe i should just suffer!#recap of todays further events .#that supervisor? who i kinda didnt already like but now absolutely hate?#she came down to confirm that i wasnt leaving. okay . and then she fucking tells me #oh we're going to get another person to help out from this other company. we were going to do that bc we thought you were leaving #but she thinks that even if im staying there should be another person on this floor. bc apparently more has to be done #and there are 'constant complaints' abt this floor . which doesnt make sense to me bc there shouldnt be #and so we're waiting to see what the manager decides but hes on fucking vacation and wont get back until. next week??#she said she was gonna email him and like right after she left i emailed and texted him explaining everything #and trying to very nicely say hey what the fuck are you doing you don't need to hire anyone else #and if im doing a bad job fucking tell me so i can do it better. bitch #and she had the nerve to fucking tell me when she was talking to me #that i wont find an easier job than this one #well if its so fucking easy why are we hiring someone else #by the way getting that extra person from this other company doesnt cost them anything which is why theyre doing it i think #which is making me not feel good abt my own future lmao. like why would they keep paying me when they can get someone for free #and she was saying all this stuff like oh you have it so good here we dont write you up i do all this stuff to help you like . ok #i didnt ask you to come downstairs w the coffee order and if you wanted me to i would come up . god #but the thing of me not being able to find a better job like wow! what if i killed you. for saying that to my face #and she talks abt how shes been w the company 20 years ok and that doesnt give you an excuse to treat me like a child. jesus #anyway im very pissed off and not enjoying my work situation lol. i dont wanna do this anymore #but looking at other jobs im so unemployable. sigh

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magpigment · 1 year

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finally got to episode 52 of jrwi and it’s good to see it’s taken a break from our regularly scheduled comedy podcast for an incredibly lengthy period of blatant psychological torture!! tune in next time to see what our poor motherfuckers are going to be Put Through Next!!!

#dandy talks #LIKE #JESUS CHRIST #IVE BEEN WAITING FOR THE PSYCHOLOGICAL HORROR BUT I WASNT EXPECTING **THIS**#like holy shit #i just got to the point chip stabbed himself in the chest w his swords while hallucinating his friends were attacking him both physically #and verbally. WHILE THEYRE ALSO IN A DESERT WHILE ALSO IN PRISON #and also the reveal of how jay and chip found gill and specifically how he ended up coming to the surface???#GOOD GOD MAN #THESE BAD BOYS CAN FIT SO MUCH TRAUMA LMAO #i’m honestly so actually hyped tho this is so so so so cool #i love psychological horror and i love emotionally inept characters being put in Situations that require them to confront their feelings #gotta be one of my favorite genders #but this is so so well done and the players are all doing great roleplaying this and grizzly is doing great running this #like i am enraptured rn #jrwi spoilers #jrwi riptide #jrwi gillion #jrwi chip #jrwi jay

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astrxealis · 9 months

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dear gods i adore horror tbh but i am way too sensitive to it

#⋯ ꒰ა starry thoughts ໒꒱ *·˚#idk how to describe 'sensitive' rn i'm dying in the head i should be asleep but Man!!!!!#i search up tons of horror stuff for funsies. movies uhh creepypastas stories real life events etc. fun!#BUT it freaks me out wayyy too much. bcs i really don't deal well w Those feelings of paranoia.#my imagination too good i was scared at night going to sleep bcs i'd imagine what to do if an intruder came in from the bedroom door #or bathroom door and think of how i'd escape Death.........#Did Not Help my area before was kinda yk. chillax. chillax meaning grassy tree-sy backyard overgrown trees #old-ish in a filipino chill neighborhood that isn't very fancy ?????? idk.#and the fact one time my dad almost died and someone standing close to him Did die so. haha. traumatized from that.#I WASN'T THERE..... but i rmbr my dad coming home and the news absolutely terrified me. anyway!#wow... rambling on tumblr at 3 and a half am... Nostalgic.#anyway yeah i love love love horror stuff but i am !!! so bad w them !!! like jesus christ i adore resident evil and bloodborne #is my whole bloodline. or something. but i can't even watch my twin kill 1 zombie in a re game Demo (she can't do it either)#and i can only make it to killing the first monster in bloodborne and explore a tiny bit where there are still no enemies. god.#AAAGGGGHHHhhhh ... and the first point of horror in omori then i stop playing for months...... even tho i rlly wna play more :((#2024 ........ cmon... i will try to overcome my fears more.#i've improved somewhat at least! ...from when i was younger. like. man. i could never stay in night-time in games ever.#ffxv? nah i always have to travel at morning. only when i got strong enough that daemons were nothing to me did i stop #getting scared. ouuughhh... and i always try to be stealthy in games........... for many reasons ofc but 1. Scared #okay i shut up now. apollo rambles of tonight: done and over!

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kelvingemstone · 8 months

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a starstruck odyssey is for lovers

#more than acofaf even. the love story of the wurst is what dreams are made of #emilymurph sitting next to each other...skip straightest man ever prince of alien slugs learning to be free bc of the crew...gnosis...#best on average npcs. lucienne plug bambi leroux the butch at the space station fuckin space heiress trust fund baby bajar crunch moon jone #and this is not to say ANYTHING of how good the characters are.#they could keep making d20 seasons forever and starstruck will always be a cut above the rest because of how fucking good the setting is #like with crown of candy even tho i loved it sm i feel like some politics were discarded in favor of the others; all out war was eh to me #the build up to a war tho? now that's interesting that's where the juice is basically i wanted asoiaf book one vibes with this cast but #that's a matter of personal preference! i don't feel like acoc did the most that could've been done with a “politics” campaign #dimension 20 #dropout.tv #a starstruck odyssey #because of their deep investment in the world and the genre it never feels like starstruck couldn't do anything. it feels limitless!#season two...god if they never do one that'd be such wasted capability #ik fantasy high is so beloved and it is a beautiful lasagna of time and playing style but if i could get multiple seasons w starstruck...#the thing that makes asoiaf asoiaf is that we have a similar level of insight into the minds of baddies like the lannisters as we do into #the minds of the clean jesus allegory starks. and in acoc the “worst” character we got from the heroes was lapin n even he was aligned #to the rocks' cause. saccharina WAS a rocks -- that was her whole deal -- and even then she wasn't a morally reproachable character bc #she was right! i wanted acoc to be down and dirty and when they said ravening would be i was excited but even that turned out to be them #destroying a secret cult which was going to kill the world. no really down low shenanigans!

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merlinmerlot · 7 months

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I could play one of the most beautiful well crafted video games on the planet and it will never be as appealing to me as one that kind of sucks shit but has soooo much potential

#merlin.txt #just finished cyberpunk #i feel like they could have done sooo much more with the concepts they had #the game showed us a bit of everything in the world but i dont think they explored any one topic enough #and they pulled a ton of punches. the ending did not feel like this big 'grab your allies and fuck the corpos' thing it shouldve been #it was mostly just tying up johnnys loose end. one big loop. which i fuck with; but it wasnt rlly anticapitalist at all in that sense #i have a bunch of other thoughts on johnny but ill save it #but god. the beginning (act 1 and the first bits of act 2) where just soooo fucking good #and it rlly felt like it was going to gear up into this huge thing instead of just being one last hurrah for rogue and johnny #AUUUGHH theres just So Much Potential. goddamn #imo i think the major thing is that at some point it stopped being v's story. it was everyone elses #he has Very little agency. which is interesting but man this guy deserves better #when it comes down to it the game Is really shallow. whenever there is any sincerity in themes its very centrist #the fact is you dont rlly meet many characters in game who are Truly working to take down corps except for johnny and he doesnt rlly count #and if there Are its usually played for irony and laughs (looking at kerry) or theyre flat out kind of awful.#judys story is probably the best of the companions bc shes actively trying to help sex workers and its played very positively #i also think two of the main themes (letting go of the past; what it means to die) are Majorly helped by some incredible emotional beats #and w/o some just Really Really good scenes and good repetition of lines and motifs its very tropey.#ok i wasnt going to write a full thing. but let me be clear: i fucking loved this game. i would not be writing so much if i did not love it #the sun ending was Still soooo vindicating. v is still kicking and that's all that matters to me #(it helps that v is a Great protag like one of the Best voiced rpg protags next to hawke da2)#(which is kind of a funny comparison since i think both protags suffer from a lack of agency)#ok im done now

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todayisafridaynight · 4 days

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Since you mentioned it, what did you think of Speak No Evil? I was thinking of watching it myself :0

i really liked it ............ my friend scoffed at me when i told her i was watchin it so take my opinion with a grain of salt tho </3

#snap chats #SHE DIDNT EVEN WATCH IT BUT W/E SPOILER FREE QUICK REVIEW DOWN HERE HIIII <3<3<3<3 #ive been made aware my tastes are. Questionable so proceed with caution vlklvjv im so sorry if i convince you to see it and you dont like i #moving on I Have. done nothing but listen to Eternal Flame for the past week its been stuck in my head ever since #BUT FR as i said I Really Liked It. i heard that theres another/original version so i wanna watch that at some point #if i care to remember and find it vjaelkjeakl but as This Movie On Its Own i had a swell time !!!#it does a really good job of teetering that line of #'this is just a quaint little sometimes-awkward get-together' and 'this is so stressful i just might throw up'#it did a good job of keeping me invested and on my toes i guess- it bitters innocuous scenarios really well which i like #like i wasnt sure WHEN whatever scene i was watching would turn sour but i always had that feeling it /would/- that lingering feeling #the horror in this is more psychological than violent- it only gets crazy by the last quarter honestly #which isnt bad! i like psych horror and Christ. the amount of times i was just grimacing in my seat like Suspense Is The Word #like imagine a dinner party where people only say controversial things and you dont want to blow up the situation #so you just try to be really polite about pivoting from the topic. but they keep going. thats basically the horror of this movie at its cor #i do have SOME comments about some bits but i wanna rewatch the movie at some point to be thorough on my comments jglejlakj #yk do a rewatch where im. NOT jokin bout with my brother- THO TBF DESPITE THAT I was still invested #like its premise is so. simple? in concept imo. but 'simple' isnt automatically bad in my eyes and i really liked how it played out #i dont watch movies much tho so maybe its been done different but there is ONE thing tht definitely made me like. HUH #but its nothing super major i dont htink? I MEAN IT WAS KINDA BIG BUT there were signs to it being revealed. still it made me vjLJ like god #i cant explain tho cause SPOILERS but ... Yeah. its not that crazy it just definitely took me by surprise for how quick the reveal was #tldr: if you ever wanted to watch an awkward dinner party where you couldnt do anything about it this is the movie to watch #and i like that. i like that because i hate myself apparently jVLAEKJVAEKLJ #coupled with horror it was also funny at times which i felt did help with that underlying 'when will this be tainted' horror #i really liked that ... when normalcy or the feeling of safety can be taken away in an instant #if you watch it and wanna talk bout it more in depth ill prob have rewatched it by then and id like to give a more. Detailed review #OR AT LEAST ONE NOT SO RAMBLY VELKAVJEALKJ im not good at reviewing things .... i just know when i like or dont like somethin ..#ive only had my bro to talk bout this with and he doesnt really. Give his thoughts or opinions too much like i do #so id be happy to talk bout it and get your perspective !!!! but only if you want Again if you dont like it im so sorry erlakjaekl #god theres so much more i want to say but im just rambling and i wanna be brief for you my friend vlakjlakvlkj #anyway yeah. those are my quick thoughts. i was Very Normal about james mcavoy for most of this movie ty for reading

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ardate · 11 months

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#just me rambling #badvibe #god. i feel so let down by my friends these days #it's been a billion things piling up for many many weeks #and right now i just got told by a friend with whom I was supposed to go to a convention that she forgot I was coming #so she won't be able to pick me up cuz she's going with her mom instead #we made plans for visiting that city in the morning before going to the convention and all.#i put it down in my agenda and moved plans around to accomodate for it. but she straight up...#entirely forgot i was supposed to be there #she forgot about me #and i'm SO. FUCKING DONE. ABOUT BEING AN AFTERTHOUGHT ALL THE FUCKING TIME #this is just too fucking much. between this and my childhood friend who acts distant w me ever since there was a dumbass quiproquo #where i have to fucking work hard everytime at creating a good atmosphere whenever we see each other cuz she wont put in that effort #and another friend who's been utterly ignoring me on purpose for some fucking goddamn reason i don't know why or what i did #ignoring me or being rude other times #all of those are just examples but its been so many things #i have been. SO fucking patient with everyone. ive helped them so many times too- sometimes to my own loss #i've been so kind and understanding despite my personal struggles - keeping my feelings of anger and injustice at bay #and i get what in response? i'm fucking. forgotten i guess. pushed aside. treated like a nuisance #i feel like its at the point where the closer they are to me the less effort they put in. cuz i'm a given now. they can treat me like shit #they treat strangers better than their close friend cuz they know i'll just take it. or smth. i'm a punching ball for bad moods #i'm done being the understanding one. what about that. what if others were the ones having to come to me and be kind instead #what if i was the one people coddled and offered sympathy to for once in my fucking life #idk. just fucking explode #i feel so disrespected. and uncared for #and so deeply unloved #i'm done. i'm done #the convention thing was just the fucking hammer to break my back after everything #i'm so deeply heartbroken #do i matter to the people i care about

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gulliesforever · 1 year

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god. one thing i LOVE about amir that he has no self preservation. i was thinking abt the episode GIRLS. specifically the moment where the 2 girls at the bar say amir looks better but amir is like - “um no its obviously jake ur wrong” and jake agrees…

it got me thinking…. Thinking about how much amir is willing to take for himself vs how much hes willing to go for jake, yknow? like amir gets mad sometimes when he perceives an “insult” but its not bc hes defending himself as much as he is acting out. but amir actively DEFENDS jake when it comes to some traits he doesnt even TRY to defend in himself - his looks(girls as mentioned, and subtle comments like Swag where hes like “i only hang out with the hottest guys”)… how people address jake (like in Ice Breakers, Bitcoin, jake’s sick). there are exceptions to defending jake but to me those arent really about something like jake’s personality/looks that he cant change, and more a reaction about how he treats amir (trust fall 2) or jake acting like J-Witz for other ppl (some insecure jake eps, esp the recent ones)

And for the most part he plays along with Jake being the better one of the two. Ace and Jocelyn… hes the SIDEKICK. “You consider me dumb!” In normal conversation. Going along with being the Troll Named Rod in Tiny Wings. APOLOGIZING TO JAKE IN CORDUROY PANT. In Table Read where ALL his main characters ARE JAKE…!! Small things like that. He KNOWS and WILLINGLY ACCEPTS his role as being the guy who gets beat up and looks like shit to everyone else because who CARES about their opinions when ONLY jake’s matters??

in a weird way, he’s entirely selfless. amir doesnt do things for the benefit of himself. like yeah. he has murderous tendencies. he hurts people. but all of it is either for attention (mainly to be able to tell a story to Jake), random insane urges(<3), or a form of like??? overdoing stuff which self sabotages him????? Which he’s aware of vaguely????

its just… amir holds such little value on his own appearance, life, and wellbeing to the point where he just doesn’t consider he matters. him being hurt and betrayed is another tuesday. But he would defend jake no matter what. because jake doesnt DESERVE that. and whys that? its because amir LOVES him. because amir loves jake and that CLEARLY means he deserves everything. all his self love goes to jake. even if it hurts him in the long run or makes him look dumb. yknow. because whatever. who cares. EVERYTHING hurts anyways and whats another day hurting himself??? And that fucking makes me INSANE.

#mirmir #jamir #thoughts within thoughts #long post #HE MAKES ME FEEL THINGS .#god. i love amir so much as a character. hes so WERIDLY romantic and sweet even tho hes the #WUOTE UNQUOTE worst ever man ro ever man #HES SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO #UGH #hes just so good i love character w no self preservation #sorry for writing an essay on mirmir i will do it again<3 #you know im insane about a characrter when i start posting 2AM essays #i havent done this since grif and stan #this is a category 7 blorbo event.#laying awake at noght staring at the ceiling just thinking about how raw and unfiltered amirs love for jake is #its genuinely an unstoppable force of nature #like he CANNOT help it.#thats why i LOVE breakfast date. He just cannot contain himself st even the PROSPECT of eating next to jake #GOD. HES SOOOOO. FUCKKKKKJ )rips my hair out)#HES FOR ALL THE PEOPLE THAT WERE ‘TOO MUCH’ BECAUSE THEIR EMOTIONS

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horrorwebs · 1 year

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why are men literally the fucking worst

#theres a guy in one of my uni friend groups who has a crush on my friend also from the friend group #and she feels so so uncomfortable plus she hasnt done ANYTHING thatd give a hint that she likes him back. bc she doesnt #and now she doesnt feel ok around because hes so attached to her and so so needy and its like. well. way to fuck it up dude. fuck you #he has been acting so strange lately and not in a good way. strange awkward and needy and like. possesive.#her and i also have another friendgroup where frankly i feel much better with and she does too. and its like. well the guy is always like #butting in but now really being part of anything? like its not like he comes over to the grouo to be with all of us hes just sort of . there #talking only to her or sometimes me but its like not nice its weird and annoying #ALSO HES SO PATRONIZING TOWARDS HER ITS AWFUL #AND hes like. a bit older.... where its not like. the weirdest age gap i dont think so. but it IS a bit weird considering some of the things #he has said. like the other day he made a comment about how my friend 'well shes so young like people her age sometimes dont get [x]' like?#if you think she is SOOO young and SOOO out of touch with people your age well why the fuck are you asking others if you have a chance w her #get away from her really #sidenote: today she was telling me and a different friend about this problem and my other friend said it was really uncomfortable and bad +#that he used to think the guy had a thing for ME BEFORE??? and i dont know if he also thought -i- had a thing for him but please god no.#even the hypothetical made me feel super uncomfortable. also i used to feel like that a bit like he might like me and it was bad and gross #so i dropped a comment that let him believe i was a lesbian i think? also got much colder towards him . like. thats what you get fucker #about the lesbian thing i meant that he told me about a friend of his that had it hard coming out as a lesbian and i said like oh yeah being #like that was hard for me also. finding out i was not straight was tough etc .#dont remember if i said the word lesbian i dont think so but i did say i like girls and i didnt mention boys at all so i hoped itd be enough #also people dont really -get- what being asexuas means + didnt want to tell him im ace + techically i Can like boys bc romantic attraction #is undefined to me but i was definetely not going to tell him that bc 1. im much more prone to like a girl and 2. not trying to get his hope #up.#so anyway it was gross to realize other people saw it too so i mightve actually not been insane to think he had a crush on me but it was bad #and also. i really need for my friend to be comfortable in class so i might have to kill him who knows. well see #spikeposting #personal

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