#god some chinese people act so much like white people but that is a post for another night when i get irrationally angry

[bastart13]

I’ve had a lot of fun recently coming with with female mercenary characters for TF2. I really liked where the concept art was going with making them all individual characters rather than simply “if the characters were women”

The design style is fantastic for distinct simplicity so I tried limiting myself to basic colours and shapes to make these

and I’m pretty confident they pass the silhouette test!

Character names/bios under the cut!

Heavy

Name: Marie Jarrett

Age: Mid 30s-40s

Height: 6’5

Nationality: American (Hawai’i)

Bio: Raised in Hawai’i, growing up she developed more and more drastic measures to fend off the tourists swarming her home. Land mines, electric gates, guard dogs, none could stop them for long until she picked up her trusty minigun to send her message. But even still, she hears the click of cameras in the night.

Eventually, she left her home to explore the world. Enthralled with the image of seeing different wonders across different countries, she’s always disappointed. She’s travelled every continent and still finds nothing that lives up to her expectations. No place, no person. She’s outgoing and open to new experiences, only she usually hates them.

Mercenary life is a great opportunity to earn money, see sights, meet new people and kill them after they don’t meet your expectations. She hates New Mexico and takes every opportunity to destroy the buildings and insult her employer’s tastes. She finds some people she tolerates within the mercenaries as she hasn’t yet visited where they live. However much she hides it, she has a deep, instinctual fear of the Engineer.

  Soldier

Name: Linda Smith

Age: Early 40s

Height: 5’10

Nationality: Canadian

Bio: Canada’s perfect woman… or so she claims. The star of war propaganda posters and clearly decided for the role because of her great tactical assets. She’s there to motivate people into the fight. To spread the glory of Canada and inspire her allies. She believes she has higher orders than anyone else she’s working for (ignoring the fact she hasn’t heard from them for a good few years) and is determined to follow them to the letter. She may have lost the letter but she remembers it good enough.

She represents the ideals of Canada: polite, friendly, apologetic, and pacifistic. None of these are contradicted by how she throws around rockets. That’s not what Canada means. She’s superior to everyone around her and graciously educates them on how to improve through example. She loves her French and British allies and will kindly tell the Americans how to be better.

She’s motivating and actually fairly competent, it’s just that competency might be misdirected. She’s damn good at rocket jumping, shooting her shotgun, and supporting her team, it’s just that you really need to get it in her head when she’s meant to be doing it.

Scout

Name: Patricia “Pat” Herald

Age: 50s-60s

Height: 5’4

Nationality: English

Bio: In her years, Patricia has learnt fear… and she’s learnt to laugh in its face. She wakes up at the crack of dawn, ready to leave at the drop of a hat, boots polished and laced the night before. Her years have taught her that with a gun and Jeremy by her side, she can survive!

The postal route of Appleby-in-Westmorland.

She’s been chased by geese, dogs, cows, elderly ladies, and when her postal route had her delivering post during the war, she developed a taste for blood. Nothing will stop her from delivering her post on time. Every day before 6am, every postbox will have their letters and parcels. One chucked across barbed wire, another house jumped over a river, another house miles into the country with dogs on her heels, she WILL get there and she’ll get there FAST.

But after a couple of decades, she needs a change of scenery, and the Gravels wars are just the holiday she’s needed. With her trusty black and white cat by her side (ignoring the yowling and scratches) she reckons it’ll be great time to enjoy herself.

Quotes: “Oh, hello, Human Jeremy.”

“Bloody fucking Ethel! Building her house out in the country… surrounded by bloody hills and rivers!”

Pyro

Name: Nikephoros Papadopoulos

Age: Late 20s

Height: 5’11

Nationality: Greek

Bio: Survival of the fittest. Nature gives and nature taketh away. If you’re not prepared for that, well, Pyro is more than happy to teach you the lesson. They embody the old values of the Greek gods: f*ck or fire. She indulges her every whim and unfortunately for the people around her it often involves arson.

One year for the Olympic games, she was given the noble title of torchbearer. On complete coincidence, the Olympics shifted to primarily water sports. Underwater sprints became the hot new trend!

She’s merry and chatty, never missing the opportunity to talk to other people about herself and her world view. She can’t wait to spread her gospel to help other people improve themselves (though she always gets a laugh out of those who go out screaming in the flames). She can’t help it if she has a sadistic side.

Engineer

Name: Mikawo Kojima

Age: Early 20s

Height: 5’0

Nationality: Japanese

Bio: Japan’s early-rising industrial revolutions in technology are best exemplified in Mikawo, a young upstart determined to rise to the top, learning everything she can and building the best of the best. Unfortunately, she’s never been the most creative but when you happen upon other people’s blueprints and happen to construct them first, what does it matter who came up with the “concept”?

At first, she appears to be every bit the quiet and demure young woman people expect, only when silk hides steel, that steel is a massive automatic sentry gun. She’s motivated by a distinct contempt for the people who get in her way. Especially those who try to be better than her. She enjoys the flexibility of English, especially the cusses, and she has no reservations about swearing up a storm, even if she still refuses to give a straight rejection, preferring instead to give a small “I’ll think about it.”

Quotes: “This GUN is fair use on your head!”

Demo

Name: Qingzhao Zeng

Age: Late 40s

Height: 5’3

Nationality: Chinese

Bio: The Zeng family has a long-standing family trade in demolitions and explosives, traced down the line all the way to the Song dynasty. Luckily, Qingzhao has sisters so, you know, it’s not all that important. She doesn’t even have to stop smoking and drinking. She hasn’t blown herself up (that much) so clearly, it’s working. Precision is for other people to worry about. She’s apathetic to a T, having seen everything. Measurements come from the heart. A pinch of gunpowder there, a splash of paint there.

Her family has a deep-seated rivalry with the DeGroots. Long ago in ancient China, a Zeng matriarch woke up in a cold sweat, a message from the stars to let them know of their Scottish rivals. Due to being a continent away from each other, the families have actually met each other only a handful of times, but the hatred needs to be kept up because, what if?

Turns out, Qingzhao has met Tavish even before finding employment under the Mann brothers. One drunken night, the two of them had a short, whirlwind friendship, sharing secrets and declaring each other to be their best friends. Luckily for them, they both forgot the night, merrily hating each other as tradition dictates. However, headaches and flashes of this terrible night haunt them both. Could they really get over centuries of hate and become friends?

Absolutely not.

Sniper

Name: Ansa Aaltonen

Age: 27

Height: 6’2

Nationality: Finnish

Bio: Snow. Sugar. Cocaine.  Her life is run by many white powders. Ansa is a professional sniper, with a sharp eye and a steady hand… when she isn’t also high as a kite, lost in the snowy wilderness of Finland and screeching to the sky. When you’re up in the dark and cold, you need something to give you a little pep in your step. It just so happens Ansa liked having a bit more pep than most.

She’s there for a THRILL. There’s nothing better to get your heart pumping at 200 beats per second than a good headshot, embracing the chill, and a hit of sugar. She no longer feels the cold or heat or even pain, shrugging it off until she collapses. It just makes her feel alive. She’s efficient, fast, and determined to get her kicks.

She has an unusual taste, living off fermented fish and tree bark. To most people around the Finnish wilderness, she’s nothing more than an urban legend, but she’s very real and she’s looking for some excitement, happily found in employment in the Gravel wars.

Spy

Name: Yvonne Pleshette [Real name N/A]

Age: 30s

Height: 5’8

Nationality: American (California)

Bio: The silver screen calls to his woman and she’s happy to answer. She trains herself to act in every possible role she can, having a wide range of accents, body languages, and backstories. To truly test herself, she gave up her identity long ago. Lately she’s been going by the name “Yvonne.”

The world of Hollywood is cutthroat and full of backstabbers so she learnt to cut throats and stab backs. While some people tell her the terms are metaphorical, nothing else has given her more roles. Living the mercenary life is simply gathering research for her roles (and earning some much-needed money in the process).

She presents herself as a classic film star, despite being a minor name at best, mostly because she’s always changing it. She has high standards but a cheapskate personality. She’s a bit of a bitch, happily criticising others, especially if they’re working with her. What can she say? She’s a diva.

[Slutshames other spy]

Quotes: “Ugh, actors these days, they know nothing about getting into character. They still have names.”

“’AHHHHH—’ Wait, no. Once more from the top. Scream in agony.”

Medic

Name: Susan Monks

Age: 30-40s

Height: 5’7

Nationality: American (New Jersey)

Bio: The American Healthcare system. Is there a more glorious sight? The exploitation of pain. The money. The debt. The fear it strikes into the entire population it’s designed to help. To Susan, there’s nothing better. She squeezes every last drop from the people she helps, working on a purely transactional lifestyle. She’ll never help someone unless she has all of their insurance information and the payment secure in her bank, and god forbid she ever accept help. It’s not like she can afford her own prices.

She’s very self-aware of her own corruption and proud of it, though she refuses to be exploited in the same way, suspicious of anything “free” but also doing her best not to pay for anything.

That said, she doesn’t much care for how good a job she does. In her eyes, asking for surgery is one thing. Asking for successful surgery is another. She has a variety of skills in both cosmetic and military medicine. She just wishes the license board would stop sending her “malpractice” letters. Ugh, stick to your own business. “Disappearing” all their messengers is becoming a pain.

Quotes: “Why get someone else to do something for you when you can scrounge a way to do it yourself?”

[sluttywonwoo]

take it off || k.mg x reader

Pairing: mob!mingyu x fem reader

Summary: as much as you hate to admit it, jealousy looks good on your fiancé 

Warnings: swearing, light smut (18+)

Word Count: 1.8k

a/n: reworked this old blurb originally posted on my tom holland fic account ( @wazzupmrstark )

Masterlist

“Mingyu, slow down,” you said with a sigh, trying not to roll your eyes.

“What was he thinking?” Mingyu spat, not acknowledging what you had just said. He gripped the steering wheel even harder.

You watched as his knuckles began to turn white and rubbed his arm soothingly. “Baby, take a deep breath. Relax.”

He just shrugged you off and cursed at the car in front of him.

“Don’t fucking tell me to relax.”

“It’s not a big deal, Gyu.”

He actually turned his head towards you and looked at you this time. “You’re joking.”

You shrugged sheepishly. “I’ve had worse.”

“Is that supposed to make me feel better?”

You winced, knowing you’d probably made it worse and that Mingyu was likely now picturing the grimy hands of ill-intentioned strangers all over your body.

“I should have him killed,” he snarled.

To most, that threat would sound completely ridiculous or utterly insane, but your fiancé was the head of the Seoul mob-the South West branch anyway- and he was no stranger to violence. Having someone killed would be as easy as snapping his fingers.

You scoffed to call his bluff.

“You think I won’t?” he challenged and you groaned.

“You promised you were done with that.”

It’s true, one of the conditions of your engagement had been that Mingyu agree to put the more sinister side of his business to rest, and although you trusted him, in all honesty, you weren’t sure how well he was upholding his end of the deal.

“I’d make an exception.”

“Well don’t. I don’t want some poor guy’s blood on my hands.”

At that, the car screeched to a stop right in the middle of the freeway. The cars behind you honked and flashed their lights at Mingyu as they maneuvered to avoid a collision.

You huffed in frustration, wanting to bang your head against the dashboard. This was exactly why you didn’t like for Mingyu to drive himself: he pulled dangerous shit all the time like this. Literally, all of his other men had drivers who took them places and you desperately wished Mingyu would hire someone, but he insisted that it was safest if he was the one driving (yet here you were in the middle of the highway).

“You could’ve fucking killed us!” you shouted, more annoyed than anything.

Mingyu took a deep breath. “I’m sorry. But y/n, he’s not just some poor guy.”

“He was trying to get a rise out of you, Gyu. He fucking hates you, of course, he’d go after me, and he was drunk.”

Mingyu narrowed his eyes at you, foot still pressed firmly on the brake. “That’s not a fucking excuse, you of all people should know that. Why are you trying to defend him?”

“I’m not trying to defend him, I’m just saying he doesn’t deserve to die. Can we please just get home?”

Mingyu relented and put the car back into motion making you breathe a sigh of relief.

Even though he didn’t say anything else you could tell his mind was still going a thousand miles a minute. You watched him chew at his lip in silence and wondered what was going on in that beautiful head of his. Nothing good, you could be sure of that.

Mingyu’s mind was darker than most. Occupational hazard. He carried so much pain that you hadn’t known about when you first met him. He’d let you in slowly, keeping you at arm’s length for months, until he almost lost you. And then he knew he couldn’t keep things from you anymore. It was still a challenge to understand his thought process sometimes, but you liked it that way. How could a ruthless, power-hungry mobster also be the most loving, family-oriented person you’d ever met in your life? How could someone who dropped a grand on a dinner like it was nothing secretly rather spend one more night picnicking with crappy Chinese food on the bedroom floor in your old apartment? You couldn’t think of an answer, and you didn’t want to.

The guy at the bar tonight had been some rival of Mingyu’s. You hadn’t seen him before, but you could tell because when Mingyu got up to get the two of you more drinks he swooped in and laid it on heavy. He looped one arm around your waist and placed his other hand on your knee and began attempting to seduce you. Sure, you were uncomfortable but more than anything you were angry. And tired. Tired of being used as bait, something to get to Mingyu.

You didn’t want to make a scene so you listened to the asshole talk about how much better he’d treat you than Mingyu until your fiancé eventually returned with your drinks in hand, face beet red, eyes dark with anger.

The man, you never caught his name, left the bar with a broken nose. Mingyu left with bruised knuckles. You’d thought it would end at that, but of course, once Mingyu got started it was hard for him to stop. It was a gift in the bedroom, but a curse in the rest of your life.

Then, so softly you almost didn’t hear it, Mingyu broke the silence in the car and said “I know what he said to you,” and it all clicked.

Normally, a hand on your shoulder, thigh, ass was enough to set Mingyu off, but combine that with the filthy words he’d undoubtedly overheard spilling from the man’s lips… no wonder all he could see was red.

“Mingyu, I-“

“Why didn’t you say anything?”

“I didn’t want to start something.”

“Start something? Is that true? Or do you think he’s right?”

“No, of course not.”

“Do you think he can satisfy you better than I can?”

“Mingyu!”

“Well do you?”

You shook your head and rubbed your thighs together, fighting a shiver. As irritating as Mingyu’s jealousy could be, the effect it had on you was even more infuriating. The man could already turn you on without doing anything and whenever he started acting a little jealous it was game over for you. It was pathetic, really.

“Why the fuck did he even think it was okay to look at you, let alone touch you?”

“I don’t know,” you shrugged finally settling in to play the game. “These big dudes with huge muscles just think they can have whoever they want.”

Mingyu whipped his head back towards you. “What did you say?”

You ignored him. “I mean he definitely wouldn’t be as good as you, but he could do some damage.” Mingyu was full-on glaring at you now, and you wanted to tell him to keep his eyes on the road, but you couldn’t give up so fast. “I mean, just one of his hands could probably wrap around my whole neck. Like they were giant, and you know what they say about guys with big hands-“

“Do you think this is funny?”

Any sane person wouldn’t even think about taunting Mingyu like this, not with his reputation, but you couldn’t be sane to be with someone like Mingyu anyway, and besides, you knew he was a big softie at heart.

“A little,” you admitted. “You look really hot right now.”

He really did. His hair was tousled with silver highlights from the moonlight streaming in through the windshield, his tan skin was flushed with adrenaline, and his white button-up was unbuttoned just a few times to show off his collarbone. You bit your lip. You were so fucking weak.

“That’s not going to work.”

“No?” You quirked an eyebrow and leaned over the console to see that he was already more than half hard in his dress pants. “Because it looks like it’s working.” You reached over and began to palm him through his trousers, smirking when he cursed and rolled his neck at the contact.

“Y/n, if I have to pull over, you’re not going to be able to walk for the next week.”

Oh no, that’d be horrible you thought to yourself and rolled your eyes. He had to know that’s what you secretly wanted, right? Right? Why were men so stupid?

Either way, you took your hand back and moved it up under the hem of your dress to where you were feeling a little desperate for some friction. You sighed deeply when you rubbed yourself over your panties, not even surprised at how wet you were.

“Fuck,” you hissed out and hiked your legs up onto the seat so you could give Mingyu a better view.

“Stop that.”

He said it so forcefully that you froze, fingers hovering over your panties, about to pull them to the side. Then you smiled.

“No.” You went ahead and did it anyway, slipping two fingers inside of yourself easily.

You weren’t one to defy Mingyu often, especially when it came to what he asked of you in the bedroom, but you knew how crazy it drove him and just couldn’t resist.

Mingyu groaned, trying and failing to maintain an angry expression. His eyes betrayed an absolutely sinful lust that made you want to melt and you wished more than anything he’d just pull the fucking car over.

“Fuck, Gyu,” you gasped, “I wish these were your fingers, you’re so good with your fingers.”

“Yeah? You sure you wish they’re my fingers? Not someone else’s?”

You shook your head vigorously. “Never. You’re the only one who knows how to make me cum that hard.”

“Is that what you want? To cum hard?”

“God, yes,” you moaned, pumping your fingers in and out of you faster.

“Take off your dress.”

“What?” you weren’t sure if you’d heard him right, you were still driving down the highway after all.

“You heard me. Take. It. Off.”

Not wanting to push your luck any further you didn’t hesitate to listen this time and pulled the loose fabric up and over your head.

“Good girl,” he praised and you whined. You were still wearing your bra and underwear and as much as you’d love to flash oncoming traffic, you hoped Mingyu wouldn’t ask you to take them off.

“You can touch yourself,” he said and you complied, knowing it was more of an instruction than an allowance.

It felt good, really good, but you still wished it was him instead of you.

“Fuck, darling you look so beautiful like that, God, I can’t believe I get to marry you.”

“If, you stop, killing people,” you managed to get out through gritted teeth and Mingyu laughed.

“I’m not going to kill him, baby. I made a promise. You’re too important to risk losing, even if he is a fucking prick.”

You whimpered, the mixture of complete head-over-heels love you felt for Mingyu and pleasure making you crumble.

“Don’t worry, baby,” he said, reaching over and taking you by the wrist, stalling your movements just as you were about to fall over the edge. “I’m gonna fuck you so hard you’ll forget you ever met that asshole.”

lmk what you think i always appreciate feedback!!

forever tags: @haven-cove

shoot me an ask to be added/removed from my taglist

[antluvspath]

Head cannons for ninjago characters!

(People keep finding this post haha I want to let y’all Ik I made this when I was 15 and my spelling/grammar might be bad lol)

First up Cole

He’s bisexual! He loves masculine men like himself. loves women who can be fem, masc, and androgynous. And loves all enbys

He’s also trans (ftm)

He’s definitely brown poc man tbh he could be anything just not white (but I think he’s Afro indigenous)

He makes beats but never finishes them or doesn’t add anything more

He loves all types of music (even country)

Hates scary movies

He’s a foodie he’s probably tried so many delicacies

This is canon I think because he mentioned he went to dance school or a performing arts school so yeah he’s a dancing man

He definitely was in a poly relationship with Nya and Jay at one point

He’s the shortest male in the team 5’8

Loves rocks, stones, crystals

Zane

He’s black. Yeah I know he’s a robot but his hair just reminds me of a lot of black boys I know growing up. When I saw him when I was younger I thought he was black.

I think his dad is Haitian too :D!

Technically he has no gender since he’s a robot but I think he’s just male so yeah

His sexuality can be whatever just as long it includes him being able to be in a relationship with pixal because they’re cute

I think he loves pomes and reads them from time to time

Also studies philosophy

It is canon he cooks for the team but I think he learns meals from stories he likes :)

He loves birds that live in snowy areas

He’s 6’2

Jay

He’s bisexual but leans more towards females and doesn’t really know if he likes enbys since he hasn’t dated a lot of people

He’s a cis male to me but if you think he’s trans that cool :D

He definitely had a crush on all the boys at one point

At first I did think he was white but now I think he’s Vietnamese! (Tbh a lot of theses characters are Asian so don’t be surprised when I say a character is Asian)

He likes to take runs and long walks

He can play some instruments but mostly electrical

He loves superhero type media

Has adhd

Has a good relationship with his family

I think he’s tall but tbh I don’t how tall-

He’s into robots and coding

Kai

Ahhh I think he’s cis and straight- but if you think other than that that’s fine too!!

He tries to make weapons he sees in anime he likes and hangs them in his room

He’s Chinese and Japanese

He’s a Leo ♌️ he acts too much like one for me not to think that

Hes shorter than skylor he’s 5’9and I think she’s 5’11

He actually really wanted to be an older brother and begged his parents for a sibling

He’s definitely social media famous

He loves the out doors and gets tan easily

Nya

Tbh I don’t know her sexuality she could be anything if it involves Males also think he’s cis but if you think she’s trans that cool

Like her brother shes Chinese and Japanese

She actually likes cooking sometimes but doesn’t do it as much as she wants

She’s a little more curvy and round

He lives for cars and motorcycle just anything in that topic 

Really wanted to be an engineer growing up

Wasn’t really girly growing up but she started to be a little fem when she grew

She’s 5’6 in my opinion I think a lot of the female characters are tall not all but most

Loves the beach

Lloyd

I think he’s gay tbh after Harumi he realized he only liked men but thought he was bi at first

He’s Japanese

He likes every villain in any story he likes

Probably has ptsd let’s be honest

Feels too much pressure from being a literal Demi god/ green ninja

likes to be feminine but is too shy to wear it out in public

A bit of a try hard

He likes skateboarding or roller skating

He’s a big mamas boy

Had a crush on Kai but got over it

Has a great relationship with pixal and skylor

Nya and Cole treat him like a son/younger brother

He vents to Zane because Zane is more calm

Loves any type of tea

And likes cowboys

I feel like he’s 5’9-6’0 feet but idk really

Anyways that’s the end I’ll do other characters too

[junicai]

Relationship with WAYV

➣ KUN ☾ karia

if it wasn’t for dotae potentially coming to kill him, he would steal aria into wayv

he’s the cool dad? 

they can’t spend a lot of time together because none of their schedules match up, but aria takes every third or so weekend out to come have dinner in the wayv dorms

she’s surprisingly close to the china line, and its a combination of ten dragging her to his dorm for an entire month and them just kinda adopting her when they realized she was a foreigner as well 

yuta can fight them, she’s one of them now

he doesn’t like to baby her a lot, and she really appreciates the break from being the “maknae” so to speak 

however does that stop him from giving her the forehead kithes? no

aria sad? forehead kith

aria mad? forehead kith

aria smad? forehead kith + kuddles (kun cuddles)

he has sent her a passive agressive text when he found out that she wasn’t eating enough again and had almost passed out

but he finished it with a heart so its ok

if she isn’t smiling at all times, someone will die

aria feels like she can trust him with a lot; that no matter what she tells him, he’ll never out her or make fun of her

kun actually took a two-week online course to learn how to make traditional japanese dishes when aria mentioned missing her parents

he originally was going to learn how to make irish dishes, but he changed his mind after seeing what they were

“im not giving my kids boiled cabbage and mashed potatoes what kind of post world war-”

wants to give her a chinese name but hasn’t yet because he hasn’t found the one that fits her right and he wants it to be perfect 

aria teaches him japanese phrases in exchange for him teaching her a little bit of mandarin

FAN FAVOURITE MOMENT.

aria saw kun’s back as she entered the practice room, the man standing with three other members in the centre of the floor before the choreographer came in to start their practice. coming up behind him, she wrapped her arms around his waist, peeking her head around from where she was. “hi!” she smiled brightly.

“hi,” ten chuckled, showing her the camera that had just filmed all of that. 

➣ TEN ☾ tenaria

Whipped(TM)

so so gone for her its upsetting actually

yangyang and aria share the position of his baby 

except aria willingly accepts the title while yangyang would rather fling himself from a rooftop

ten’s instagram is half his cats, half miyazu aria

he posts her dancing practice on his story a lot, with a variety of captions ranging from “thats my baby  ♡( ◡‿◡ )” to “yah that’s not right...(눈_눈)”

such an enabler for her bad ideas 

aria wants to go shopping at 4am? ten agrees, now they’re sitting by han river eating ice cream

pls he’s gonna get her in so much trouble one day

when they walk together, ten likes to take her hand and put it in his pocket 

its under the pretense of not wanting her to get lost 

he just wants to hold her hand

yes he has lost her in a shopping mall, and NO it wasn’t his fault

ten always complains that they never have schedules together and he misses his baby 

“we have superm-” “I NEVER SEE YOUUUU (ﾉಥ益ಥ)ﾉ”

if they’re in the same room ten is either watching her out of the corner of his eye, or is actually wrapped around her like a boa constrictor 

hugs n kithes all around

only he is allowed make fun of her mistakes in dancing 

anyone else gets deaded. he will fight for her honor how dare you insult his baby 

sm give these ttwo a dancing duo video pls 

FAN FAVOURITE MOMENT. 

the first and only time aria and ten had a duet was during their last concert on superm’s first world tour. during the second half of ten’s solo performance, aria emerged from the left side of the stage, coming to join him in the centre stage. no one had ever seen aria as serious as she was then, both herself and ten becoming completely different people in the moment. midway through, aria spun with her back to ten and leaped backwards into the air - eyes closed - completely trusting ten to be where she needed him to be to catch her. 

➣ WINWIN ☾ winria

a love hate relationship at its finest

they don’t actually hate each other it’s just really funny to pretend that they do (especially because yuta complains that 2 of his favourite people aren’t getting along)

winwin is so savage towards aria but it’s ok she claps back twice as hard

at first, before czennies had seen enough of their dynamic they thought that they actually did hate each other

but that’s not true they just don’t know how to express, affection, without brutally insulting the other with a loving tone

they are, surprisingly, the most stable pairing in 127 - they have a dynamic and rarely stray from that, which is a good comfort for the fans

despite what they might say to each other, they don’t mean any of it - and winwin has been seen several times raising his eyebrows with a questioning look at aria to make sure she wasn’t taking any of his playful jabs to heart

oh god the flexibility

the entirety of nct is terrified of them

the day sm gives them a circus act is the day that kun and taeyong have a heart attack

quietly supportive of each other - catch aria “playing” with a water bottle and not getting up to get it when it conveniently rolls across the floor and into winwin’s leg

he makes sure to save some new chinese sweets whenever the wayv members get packages from their familes, and sneak it into aria’s room before the managers can catch her breaking her diet

not really physically affectionate with each other, which played into czennies idea that they didn’t like each other but aria cleared it up in a vlive

“winwinnie and I, well. we don’t hug a lot because i know he doesn’t like it as much as i might, so i try to show him i care with other things :)”

FAN FAVOURITE MOMENT.

winwin and aria going in to each other on knowing brothers, to the point where the mc’s had their eyes popping out of their head and waved about to stop the segment before aria could start attacking winwin’s cooking methods-

nothing is off limits when it comes to them

➣ LUCAS ☾ arihei

besties 

please they’re so cute together - tol child next to tini child she barely comes up to his chest :(

bear hugs

he just swamps her in his arms, and when he doesn’t feel like being bent over he picks her up 

complains that she’s too heavy but then immediately after will throw her around like a softball 

someone tell this man to be careful with her she’s not a barbie doll 

singular braincell energy

don’t get it wrong, they’re both super smart 

so it’s just - being smort together, but then nearly dying because neither of them remembered that you couldn’t eat raw cookie dough when there are eggs in it

she adores how he’s so confident in the things that he does - like convincing the entire nct fandom that he was fluent in english? king behaviour

so aria looks up to him (literally) but also because she wants to have that confidence some day 

lucas says they’re not close and then aria pouts and he takes it all back

nczennies made a 14 minute compilation titled “lucas melting like a popsicle in australia for aria” 

and literally what the title tells you, this man goes :(( when he sees her 

lucas was actually the person to convince her to go ahead with the [redacted] proposal - and reminded her that it was too good an opportunity to pass up just because she felt like she was outgrowing the boys

he’s so proud of her

and she’s so proud of him 

they’re so proud of each other and it makes nczennies want to cry because they never are seen together 

sm stop separating the platonic soulmates first markhyuck and now arihei smh

FAN FAVOURITE MOMENT.

during a photoshoot, aria was standing off to the side of the boys, dressed in white suit to contrast the boys’ black ones. the photographer was calling out to her to get her to move closer, but she couldn’t hear him from so far away, and so lucas (who was on the end) just walked over to her, gripped her by the biceps and lifted her vertically and to the left a little bit. 

“luc-LUCAS?”

“you had to move :)”

➣ XIAOJUN ☾ arijun

honestly these two aren’t super close, just because their schedules never matched up until the NCT 2020 promotions

even when aria was dragged to the wayv dorms, xiaojun kept his distance from her because he didn’t want to make her uncomfortable 

even so, when they were filming Make A Wish together, they seemed comfortable enough around each other

there was a mutual agreement to not try fill the silence with awkward small talk, so they sat in silence when left alone together

they’re both shy :( someone needs to get them to talk to each other :(

even so, aria was all supportive smiles and thumbs-up when she saw him getting nervous before their first public stage as the unit 

he was a little intimidated of her at first, but also really curious about how she was holding her own against the other members

not only physically, but her vibes are tiny let the man be concerned ok

his first impression of aria was just: small quiet? she was sitting apart from the other boys in the practice room, and he almost wanted to go over and ask her if she was ok; before she was approached by donghyuck and her face broke into a bright smile 

aria’s first impression of xiaojun was: eyebrows he was really handsome? at first, she thought he was in the wrong room, seeing as the SM modeling auditions were happening in the next room down

any arijun shippers are starved of content im so sorry guys 

FAN FAVOURITE MOMENT. 

currently still up for debate between the fandom :(

➣ HENDERY ☾ aridery

ah these two 

you might as well sign a waiver if you decide to do anything with them, because they can and will get you killed 

kun can testify

ten’s the enabler but hendery is the do-er

super giggly around each other, for no reason at all

hendery could pick up and throw a basketball and suddenly aria’s on the floor in literal stitches 

have a secret code 

no seriously

they don’t text in words, they just send various reaction memes and a colourful variety of emojis to convey emotions and scenarios 

it’s become quite a beautiful language actually 

got some nice proverbs in there

they’re like, cousins but the ones you only see at family reunions but get so hype to see them

that energy 

asides from the chaotic, murderous vibes they possess as a duo

hendery knows what it’s like to miss home, to miss your parents, etc etc

and so he tries to make aria feel as home as possible - especially with wayv, because they’re all foreigners who know how she feels 

whenever he gets packages from his parents who have sent things over, he always makes sure to keep some of the small treats/sweets back for aria

1. because he knows she’ll appreciate the thought and she gives good hugs

2. because he knows she’s on a diet constantly and never allowed eat these things when she’s in the dorms with managers around 

FAN FAVOURITE MOMENT. 

filming the Resonance “Wish” event, aria was put in a skimpy minimalistic mock-suit to differentiate from the others’ clothes. unfortunately, that left aria with a little too much shoulder and chest on display than she would like, and she was noticeably uncomfortable with her clothes, constantly pulling it up and even going so far as to just hold it with her hands. 

hendery saw this, and knew he was finished filming his segment for the time being, so he pulled off his own jacket and tossed it over to aria, who caught it with a grateful smile. “thank you,” she mouthed to him, tugging the dark blue material over her shoulders.

➣ YANGYANG ☾ ariyang

aria. has 9 days of age on this boy and will never let him forget it

“respect your elders you brat” “9. DAYS.”

european pals 

they feel so cultured when they get asked about europe, and then are kindly reminded by hendery that A. Germany started 2 world wars, and B. Ireland was just a British colony until 100 years ago. 

they both hit him for that

aria teaching him curse words in irish and yangyang teaching her curse words in german? more likely than you’d think 

they met before yangyang’s debut was announced, in a practice room that had let them accidentally overlap their practice times 

instead of working it out between them, they actually just started to alternate their songs - and the other gave them some good, constructive criticism 

most of the time

when they found out they were going to be in 90s Love together, they were so happy 

it was going to be their first official schedule together

all the behind-the-scenes videos are just aria and yangyang being children and then ten coming over and cooing at them 

they love ten, but they will trash talk the man behind his back 

yangyang confessed to her that he sometimes feels nervous when speaking korean, like he’s going to make a big mistake

so she tries her best to teach and correct him where she can, and make him as comfortable as possible 

if you look at any of the 90s Love promotions - aria is always beside yangyang

he bit her ear once

she doesn’t know why and he won’t tell her

but now when she makes fun of him, he threatens to do it again 

FAN FAVOURITE MOMENT. 

aria skating onto the rink during filming, and yangyang following her because she promised to teach him how to skate backwards.

“ok just, think like you’re leading with your heels. press your knees in, and push outwards, with you-no no that’s forwards. go backwards yangyang.”

“no no no thats a WALL YANGYANG STOP-” 

[mypimpademia]

Bakugo, Todoroki, and Shinso w kids that are bratty

Parent!Bakugo x parent!Todoroki x parent!black!reader x parent!Shinso

TW: Swearing

Key: S/n = sons name; D/n = Daughters name

BAKUGO

You have a son, S/n Bakugo

He has mixed hair ofc, and Bakugos hair color, he has heterochromia so his left eye is the same color as yours and his right is red like Bakugos

Quirk: hand bomb; he can turn anything he lights on fire into any type of bomb (regular, smoke bomb, and even a fire work)

Its Bakugos kid ofc they're gonna be bratty

But Bakugo has too much pride to say that your son gets it from him

It mostly started when S/n was still a few months old

He was the type of baby to throw things, and slap tf out of people

The first time he slapped Bakugo, you were away on a mission and you were video calling each other

"Put S/n on camera, i wanna get a screen recording of you playing with him."

You started the screen recording and S/n was on his back while Bakugo was on his stomach, leaning over him

Bakugo went in for an Eskimo kiss but got slapped instead

The air in your lungs left all at once in a single laugh, you stopped the screen recording there, most definitely planning to post it

"THIS GOD DAMN BRAT, HE GETS THIS SHIT FROM YOU."

"From me???? Sounds like your egos too big for you to admit that its from you."

S/n got his quirk for the first time when he was 4 and you were setting off fireworks for Chinese new year

He wanted to light a fire work but you and Katsuki didn't want him getting hurt

So he threw the rubber ball he was playing with

It ended up getting set on fire from his hand and the exploding with colors against the ground

The whole party stopped right there

"OH SHITT MY SON JUST GOT HIS QUIRK."

"AND ITS COOL AS FUCK."

You let him use his quirk instead of lighting fire works, allowing him to throw plastic cups and empty water bottles

To you and Katsukis luck, it made lil man pass out early and it was easy to put him to bed

He cheats when he plays hide n seek

Hides empty bottles and other trash in his hiding places to use as smoke bombs

"S/n... where are you, brat?"

Katsuki ended up with an exploding water bottle at his foot, and then couldn't see because of the smoke

"S/N BAKUGO, WHAT HAVE I TOLD YOU ABOUT SETTIN OFF SMOKE BOMBS IN MY DAMN HOUSE??"

Threatens to use his quirk when he gets mad

You could use your quirk to hold him easily without harming him at the same time

Katsuki however usually has to chase him

"GET BACK HERE, YOU DAMN BRAT."

If it happens in public Katsuki usually just picks up S/n and holds him under his arm, hands by his sides, so that he can't grab anything

Leads to the paparazzi getting some questionable shots

"Damn, I love my kid, but I didn't think he'd be such a brat."

"Kinda like you?"

"Shut up."

"Anyways, it'll prepare you for our next ones."

"Next ones?"

"Im pregnant."

TODOROKI

You have twins, a boy and a girl.

Both have mixed hair, the girl with white hair and the boy with red

D/n's quirk: Hydrokinesis; can manipulate water at will and even freeze or get it to heat up to 100° (water bender in this bitch)

S/n's quirk: Aerokinesis; can harden, change the direction of, and make himself fly by controlling the air around him, and can even take air out of something (I'd name lil dude Aang if you could predict quirks before hand)

Your son is more like Shoto, reserved and quiet

But his twin sister is the complete opposite, being loud and outgoing

Shoto loves both of your children equally, but D/n is definitely a daddys girl

S/n doesn't ask for much, but when he does, he gets it

But D/n asks for a lot of things and usually takes well to hearing you say "no"

But in the event that she can't have something she really wants, she gets extremely upset

Wanted a doll once when you only came for groceries, Todoroki said no, which added insult to injury

She saw a water fountain and used her quirk to get water from it so she could splash Todoroki

He froze it when it was about 6 inches from his face

When he looked down at D/n, you all knew she was screwed

You gave him the car key and he took D/n to the car while you and S/n continued shopping

Since S/n usually gets what he wants since he doesn't ask for much and is good a majority of the time, he doesn't know how to act when being told no

Usually activates his quirk without noticing, and there's air swarming and spinning all around him

You told him he couldn't have his favorite cake once, and he accidentally broke one of Todorokis favorite soba bowls

He wasnt allowed to have cake for 2 months

Good luck if theyre both mad at the same time

When they were toddlers, they activated their quirks for the first time in sync

It was because they were upset because the couldn't have ice cream before bed

They deadass caused an entire storm inside your house

But once they're older and their quirks are stronger, you'll have to invest in extremely waterproof floors

SHINSO

You have a daughter.

Mixed hair, Shinsos hair color, your eyes

D/n's quirk: Eyes of Illusion; anyone she looks at, she can make them see, or not see anything. If she looks someone in the eyes she can make them see their worst fear.

Another daddys girl

Hitoshi lovesss your daughter

But he only gives her things when she's been good

If she feels like she's been good but gets told no, she gets mad and uses her quirk to make it look like she disappeared

"Daddy, can I have my cookie now?"

"No, sweetie."

"Why?? I was good today."

"Good today?? Then tell us why we got a call from your teacher sayin you made everyone see a UFO again."

"..."

And thats when she disappears

Shinso usually gets her to stop using her quirk by using his own though

"Where'd you go, sweetheart?"

"Not telling-"

"Now come out for me, please."

"What have we said about using your quirk on us? No cookies for a month. Next time, I'll change the wifi password."

Activated her quirk for the first time when she was 6

You were just walking through the house and all the sudden there was a giant piece of fried chicken flying through the air

When you realized only you and D/n could see it, you realized it was her quirk

Often used it during hide n seek and when she was getting late night snacks

Over all, she's the least bratty out of all of the children, but she could be wayyy more petty and make you think something serious happened by using her quirk

Sometimes, if she's mad at one if you specifically, she'll make the other see them in a clown suit

But when you've really upset her, she'll make you see the lay out of the house differently so that you run into things

"D/N SHINSO, I'LL CHANGE THIS WI-FI PASSWORD."

Usually gets what she wants at some point when she actually deserves it, but youre not above taking the whole thing back if she does something bad right after

[mangamushi]

Thoughts on Panorama of Hell

 (HINO Hideshi, 1 volume, 1984)

(warning for spoilers and disturbing topics)

In Panorama from Hell, a painter obsessed with depicting hell takes the reader on a journey to discover his life. His work, his neighborhood, his family members and family history are presented to paint a bleak and violent picture of hell on earth.

Hideshi Hino is a very big name of horror manga. Panorama of Hell is one of Hino’s most famous and acclaimed manga, and represents in many ways the quintessence of his style. When he draw Panorama, he thought it would possibly be his last horror manga (he didnt actually stop after that, though).

It displays all his favorite themes and even blatantly recycles ideas from his previous works. It is therefore is a very good entry point for anyone interested in Hino’s stuff. One the other hand, it feels a bit redundant when you are already familiar with his work, especially if you have read Lullaby from Hell, as both manga are very similar. 

As the title suggests, Panorama takes place in a hellish setting, described in great details by the main character.  He is a painter who uses his own blood to paint, and the world he lives is horrible in many ways: from his window he sees an execution platform operating non-stop, a stream full off trash and corpses runs next to his house, he lives in the smell of burning bodies because of the next-door crematorium... 

These first few chapters are so insistent on being as abhorrent as possible that I found it hard to take seriously. In the beginning it felt so exaggerated and lacking any subtlety  that it almost felt a bit comical at times, like the author was just stacking awful things on more awful things for shock value.

“his daily routine”

And it keeps escalating from there. Next, his family is introduced: cruel children with a dark sense of curiosity, a beautiful wife who seems straight out of a classic japanese horror tale (pale skin and long black hair, wearing traditional clothes...), until we go back in time to witness the story of his grand-parents and parents. 

It gradually becomes more interesting, especially the part about his family which shows deeply ingrained violence and insanity getting passed down from a generation to the next. It culminates when historical events (WWII and its aftermath, the atomic bombings) are shown, intertwining with the painter’s personal story.

Different kinds of hells complete each other (ambient with initial setting and scenery of desolation, a more personal hell with the intra-familial violence, and the wider-scale historical hell of war).

Overall, I find Hino less imaginative than  fellow “horror masters” Junji ito and Kazuo Umezu. Those two can come up with the craziest ideas, whereas Hino’s scenarios and imagery are somewhat more expected/conventional for horror. 

But perhaps the most interesting part of Panorama is the way it blurs the borders between reality and fiction. First of all, the main character, an artist who specializes in depicting horror, acts as a stand-in for Hino himself. This is fairly common in his work, his other manga Lullaby from hell even has an extremely similar character overtly present himself as Hino: 

The artist from Panorama is making his last, best painting, just like Hino who was thinking of ending his mangaka career with his strongest work.  Both the painting and the manga share the same title, “Panorama of Hell”. 

 The similarities between Hino and his main character don’t end here, and many elements of the story are actually taken from Hino’s own life: his grandfather really was a yakuza, his brother went into a coma, his father was pig farmer with a tattoo on his back...

Just like the painter, Hino grew up in the context of the direct aftermath of WWII. Both the character and the author were born in Japanese-occupied China, and were nearly killed when their family fled back to Mainland-Japan after the country’s loss. He takes inspiration from his own life and in the traumatizing things he witnessed and lived through to draw his manga. It is hard to discern what is fiction or not in the painter’s story. Many elements are obviously fantastical and folklore-ish, like the beheaded ghosts visiting the wife’s bar (this chapter feel like a tone-shift, it is much more whimsical, with the corpses happily eating their own body parts), yet the references to real historic events like the war and Hiroshima bombing still links Panorama of Hell to reality, to our world. 

The painter’s insanity makes him an unreliable narrator. Indeed, at the end of the story, the current members of the painter’s family (his wife, his daughter and son, his brother...) are revealed to have been fake all along : the wife and children are a mannequin and puppets, the brother is a pig’s corpse...

Moreover, by having the painter address the reader directly (”let me show you...”) Hino breaks the fourth wall that should separate the world of fiction from reality.

 This culminates at the very end of the book, where the painter throws an axe at the reader to kill them.

Hino’s art style is really simple and easily recognizable. The way he draws body horror and wounds isn’t very realistic, which makes the gore parts less shocking. His character’s simple, soft, deformed appearance reminds me of modeling clay or perhaps melting plastic toys.

I am even tempted to describe his style as cute. The big eyes, round features, and the way his characters are often miserable and mistreated by others...it is cute in a pitiful way.

Hino draws lots of babies, children, and baby animals which adds to both the cuteness and the horror. It also helps that I share Hino’s fondness for insects, worms and other similar crawling creatures...

There are figures based on his works that are just too cute! 

Hino often puts animals in his stories and even merges animals and humans. He writes stories where people transform into animals (Bug Boy) or give birth to inhuman creatures ( Unusual Fetus -My Baby ). Human bodies are more often than not hosts to parasites and maggots (Mermaid in a manhole...).

In Panorama of Hell, humans are executed one after the other like livestock in a slaughterhouse, and their bodies get dumped in a stream where they mix with other dead animals. Beheaded bodies try to put animal heads on to feel complete again, and the painter’s daughter is obsessed with animal corpses that she collects and dissects.

He doesn’t use any screen tones, nor does he use a lot of crosshatching as a mean to create different shades of grey, so the jet black ink creates a stark contrast against  the white of the paper. Some pages are beautiful and esthetically pleasing in spite of the repulsive contents. Especially towards the end of the book, which depict strange surrealist imagery as the world is falling apart.

His frequent use of pitch black silhouettes reminds me of shadow play theater  (which originates from China where Hino was born), as well as of Kamishibai (street theater using paper, which was very popular in post-war Japan). 

Kamishibai originates from buddhist temples and was often used to spread buddhist teachings.

Hino makes uses of buddhist concepts and imagery in his depiction of hell. Panorama of Hell could be compared to the Hell Scroll, a famous scroll describing the Chinese Buddhist conception of hell with text and pictures. 

↑ The “Blood Lake” and “Needle Moutain” in this panel refers to two of the different kinds of hells depicted in the Hell Scroll. The blood lake is exclusively for women.

Young women are only thing that are drawn in a conventionaly beautiful way.  However, finding beauty and fascination in the most horrendous things is a central point of Hino’s body of work. His characters are either artists or collectors obsessed with what fits their strange idea of beauty (cf. Flower of Flesh and Blood, where a woman’s dismemberment is an act of creation and a research of ideal beauty in the perpetrator’s eyes).

The contrast between the solid black shadows and the untouched white of the paper can give the impression that a strong, blinding light is hitting the world. The violent light emitted from an explosion, for example. Which is fitting, giving the importance of the Hiroshima atomic bomb in the story and its repercussions that still dawn on the characters years later. It’s like the characters are constantly bathed in the harsh light of the bombings. 

The Hiroshima bomb is called a “gigantic emperor from hell”, it rules over the character’s lives, even years after it was dropped. As a child, the painters created a replica of the mushroom cloud that he worships like a god.

Panorama of Hell is a very dark and pessimistic work, displaying a world where there is no hope and nothing is spared (not even the reader, who receives the painter’s axe!). In fact, the main character was already doomed before he was even born. Indeed, he is the child of the Hiroshima bomb itself: his mother got pregnant as she was hit by a beam from the explosion. 

[weebrecs]

Recommended Romance Anime Part 2

Hi Everyone, Someone messaged me asking for straight romance anime recommendations. I already made one list here: (https://weebrecs.tumblr.com/post/157666048002/recommended-romance-anime) and I have included more below. The ones with the *** are movies. I hope you enjoy!!

Gekkan Shoujo Nozaki-kun (9/10) Chiyo is the definition of adorable and loveable, at least for everyone except for the person that she likes. Nozaki is oblivious to the world around him and most of all Chiyo’s interest in him. However, Nozaki’s distance is due to him actually being a respectable shoujo mangaka. In her efforts to win his heart Chiyo finds herself acting as Nozaki’s assistant. Together they undergo hilarious situations and act out possible scenarios for Nozaki’s manga. Nozaki asks Chiyo to help him with brainstorming situations for his romance manga and Chiyo swoons just like the protagonist of the manga, and Nozaki starts wondering where the manga ends and true love begins. It is a great show to watch and has interesting character development as Chiyo goes from a girl that has a simple crush to a girl with real reason and purpose. Romance, Comedy, Slice of Life, School Life

Lovely Complex (8/10) If you love height differences then this is the show for you. Meet Koizumi who is much taller than the average girl and Ootani who is much shorter than the average guy. They are known as a Comedy Duo and they are constantly play tricks or making gags at the other’s expense. However, they soon learn that they have more in common then they first realized when their crushes end up falling for each other. Then as soon as they both start to realize that they might be falling for each other too the question of their mismatched heights comes up.  Romance, Comedy, Height difference

Ouran High School Host Club (8/10) Haruhi is an insanely bright and gifted girl that just wants some peace and quiet. She sneaks into a music room to get alone and stumbles into the school’s host club. Frantically she tries to remove herself from the situation and shatters an expensive vase. Since she’s a scholarship student without a lot of money she doesn’t know how she’ll pay to replace the vase. However, the host club has an option for her. Join Haruhi as she meets a delight cast of male hosts that slowly find themselves changing due to Haruhi’s influence. Haruhi starts to learn about life outside of books and the boys learn to love someone. I love how relaxed this show is at times and how crazy the characters and situations are. Romance, Comedy, Slice of Life, School Life

Skip Beat (9/10) Kyouko is willing to bend over backwards to help her childhood friend, Shou, in his dreams of becoming famous. Out of the goodness of her heart she helps him basically live his life. She thinks that they are perfect together then everything changes when she over hears him telling someone that Kyouko is like is his servant. Furious Kyouko stops supporting him and decides that if she built him to become a famous celebrity then she could do it for herself too. As she grows she meets someone that can help her not only gain her revenge on Shou but someone that might actually treat her right. This is an encouraging love story that shows that people that love you can bring out the best in you Romance, Comedy, Show Business, Revenge

Akagami no Shirayuki-hime (8/10) This is a modern retelling of Snow White, but this time with a twist: she has red hair. There are two season of this anime and if you love romance animes with a dash of adventure you’ll love this one. Shirayuki is a skilled herbalist who is noticed by a prince. Terrified that she’ll live a kept life she escapes and is rescued by Zen (who is adorable and perfect…goodness I love him!). Zen brings her to his castle and their life begins. Slowly friendship turns into romance. Romance, Adventure

Akatsuki no Yona (9/10) When I first read the synopsis of this I thought it was going to be one of those off animes that wouldn’t win me over, but I was wrong. This show introduces Yona who is the princess of a well off kingdom, but when the King is betrayed by Yona’s cousin Yona must act swiftly. She escapes danger with her bodyguard Hak (I think you mean Hunk—sorry lol). Together they team up to save Yona’s kingdom. Action, Adventure, Reverse Harem, Romance

Ao Haru Ride (8/10) After risking everything for a boy she met in a rain shelter, Futaba is ready to turn her life around in high school. She is determined to have friends and be liked by everyone. Her plan is foolproof until the boy she met returns and so do her feelings for him. However, he is different from the boy that had betrayed Futaba in the past. Together they need to learn more about themselves and each other. This show is emotional and shows the sacrifices we all make for those we love. School Life, Blooming Romance

Fruits Basket (9/10) This show has recently been rebooted and is expecting a second season. It tells the story of Honda who has lost her mother in an accident and goes to live with her grandfather. However, as renovations are being done at her house she lies to her grandfather and tells him that she’s going to live with a friend. When she is actually pitching a tent in the woods. The esteemed Souma family actually owns the woods that Honda hides in and the prince of the school Yuki Souma invites Honda to stay in his house, but the Souma’s have a secret. They are possessed by the Chinese Zodiac spirits, and will turn into their respective animals if they’re hugged by the opposite gender. This series is adorable and super fun to watch. The characters are all special in their own way. Comedy, Zodiac, Mystery, School Life, Supernatural, Romance

***Hotarubi no Mori e (10/10) I love this movie it is so beautiful. Hotaru has been fond of the mysterious tale of the mountain god since she was six and after she loses her way in the mountain forest, she stumbles into a masked spirit named Gin. Together they begin their unlikely friendship. Gin informs Hotaru that they can play together as long as she doesn’t get too close. They start to spend every summer together and Hotaru helps Gin learn what is means to be human and love someone. Soon they find that the distance that they are keeping between them is slowly shrinking. This movie is epically beautiful, romantic, and heart wrenching. Spirit, Supernatural, Romance

Ore Monogatari!! (10/10) Are you sick of the romance animes filled with beautiful girls and handsome princes? Well then it’s time to watch Ore Monogatari staring an unlikely anime pairing: Takeo Gouda and Rinko Yamato. Yamato is the definition of adorable and angelic; while Takeo struggles with love due to his tall and muscular build. Takeo’s appearance might be a little rough, but under it all he has a heart of gold. However, few ever see it since Takeo’s best friend Makoto is the definition of an anime prince. Without trying Makoto is a girl magnet and Takeo finds that people only talk to him to try and get close with Makoto. But when Takeo saves Yamato he instantly falls for her. He worries that she’s only being nice to him to gain Makoto’s love, but in truth she actually like Takeo and not Makoto. I love how this shakes up the romance genre and I love Makoto and Takeo’s friendship. Every time Yamato is on the screen I swoon. She is precious! Comedy, Friendship, Romance, First Love, Dorks

Your Lie in April (10/10) This is one of those romance animes that you hear rumors about. You know it will hurt you, but you have to watch it anyway because it’s a masterpiece. It is a truly enjoyable watch! Plus, the animation is breathtaking. Kousei is a great piano player and under the tutelage of his mother he excels in the competitions.  Then his mother dies and Kousei turns from music and his world begins to turn grey. Until his world us turned upside down by Kaori, an outstanding violinist who is anything but traditional. She is free-spirited and challenges Kousei to join her in exploring music once more. Kousei starts to fall in love with music again and also finds himself falling for the girl that added color back into his world. Together they enhance each other’s musical ability and change each other’s lives. Music, Romance, Mystery, Friendship, School Life

***Toki wo Kakeru Shoujo (10/10) The last year is difficult for everyone, but for Makoto it is crazy since she can literally jump through time. She doesn’t really understand this new-found power and must learn how to control it. She fosters old and new relationships and might even fall in love, but with all time travel sacrifices must be made. I really don’t want to say too much because it could ruin the plot, but just trust me—watch it. Mystery, Supernatural, Time Travel, Romance

[bafflinghaze]

Hi! You’re one of my favorite Drarry writers but I’ve also realized you like danmei (Chinese bl novels)! Heaven Official’s Blessing and anything by MXTX is awesome, but I was wondering if you know any other good novel recs? See, I would privately message this but I’m shy >\\\<

 HELLLLLOOOOO. Yes, aside from MXTX, I have so many good novel recs. I’m currently obsessed with e-sport novels lol, but I’ll categories them for you~

(Also, feel free to privately message me 🥺)

But first, my absolute favourite, the only one I’ve actually written fanfic for is:

Very Happy: happy actor x unhappy CEO, SUPER SOFT, SUPER FLUFFY, (and some good, good angst), I’ve re-read this like...over five times 🥺🥺🥺 Sooo much doting and devotedness~

Okay, now for the other recs, which are ranked by favourite ness within each category. Also, warning that some of these may or not may not be completed...

*(for people who don’t know, MC is main character, and ML is his love interest~)

Cultivation & ancient china novels:

Heavenly Soul by crimson_carnation: This is an original English BL xianxia, but you WON’T REGRET IT. The MC and ML are both super strong, and ML is really good at consent and there’s a lot of explicit sex (the beauty of original English hehe). There’s also a lot of other BL side couples too!

The Disabled Tyrant’s Pet Palm Fish: This...the MC transmigrates into the body of a fish. Sounds crack, doesn’t it? BUT IT’S SO GOOD. It’s so surprising just how many interactions MC can have with ML while in fish form. And then MC gains the ability to turn into a human for short amounts of time...and the humour shoots straight up. ML is SO THIRSTY haha. There’s also fanart already on twitter

The White Cat’s Divine Scratching Post: The funny thing is the MC (gong) becomes a divine tree based human, and the ML is a cute cat that has cultivated to human form. So the MC is literally the ML’s scratching post 😂 MC is the ultimate crafting cultivator and has made many, many treasures, and also spends priceless amounts of materials and money on making cat items for his ML/master/previous pet cat.

The Jade Veterinarian by tigerine: another original English BL, the MC is a vet by accident. In the story, there are jade animals that have the ability to purify the land. However, for some reason, many of these animals have been...buried, have stopped working. MC ends up reviving them, and the jade animals love him haha

Modern novels:

Very Happy, of course.

Death Progress Bar: OMG. THIS. ACTION TO THE EXTREME! The MC goes from weak to strong AF, the ML is the leader of the biggest underworld organisation. The MC and ML protect each other~ Also, the MC’s five older brothers...they get so amusing as the story progresses.

Reborn with an Old Enemy on the Day of our Marriage: This is like enemies to lovers, but with the two main characters both being reborn back to their last year of school! SO FUN. Imagine if Harry and Draco slowly became friends and eventually got married post-war, but then returned back to Hogwarts at the start of Eighth Year, making everyone confused when H & D “suddenly” are best of friends 😂😂😂

King of Classical Music: The music, the details about how orchestras work....so good.... the MC was murdered and rebirthed into another violinist (in the same world) and he used this second chance in life to become an even more powerful and amazing violinist. The ML is an OP pianist lol

I’m Afraid I’m Now a Salted Fish: MC is a low-key actor, and ML is a boss at his entertainment company. BUT the twist is that MC wants to be a salted fish. ML wants to give him all the resources but MC is like no thanks!! And everyone thinks that MC and ML have a sugar baby/sugar daddy relationship, but it’s actually really cute and loving. ML wished he could act more the sugar daddy lol.

Rebirth of a Cannon Fodder from a Novel: MC had a horrible life, and was rebirthed back, also learning that he was a cannon fodder in a novel that centered around his sister’s amazingly lucky life. I really like this, because MC is smart, and the face-slapping is about using the law to persecute all the villains, and he only does this after they do something bad (i.e. it’s not like he’s punishing them for their crimes in his past life, grudges aside). ML is a CEO~

After Brushing Face At The Apocalypse’s Boss For 363 Days: the only “apocalypse” novel that I’ve actually read, it’s cool because the main character lives in both the original world and in the apocalypse world, and I thought the interactions of the MC and ML were amusing

Pastel Colours: The MC is a children's book illustrator, the ML works creating robots. Most of this is the MC looking after the ML’s cute little kid. There is angst about MC’s past, but overwhelming a lot of cuteness and love.

E-sport novels:

My Teammates Are All Crazy: This is SO CRACK. The MC plays what is considered the weakest character in the game. And he joins an e-sport team that...likes also to play the most random characters. This is FUN AF. When they start playing, they make the opposing team spit up blood so many times by playing the “weak” or “beginner” characters and completely trashing the opposing team.

The E-Sports Circle’s Toxic Assembly Camp: Here, “toxic” refers more to their trash talk rather than actually being toxic. The MC is the coach of the team, and ML is the team captain. Both of them are really strong gamers. 

Glory: The MC...he has such a glib mouth lol, basically flirting (with the ML) 24/7 but this “flirting” is just his admiration for ML. The ML is so conflicted because he likes the MC, but the MC is completely oblivious.

PUBG Online Romance of the Century: ...MC is such a voice con lol. He’s a livestreamer, and his first backer is ML. And ML’s voice...is to die for lolll. 

God Level Summoner: If I had to compare any other e-sport novel with The King’s Avatar, it would be God Level Summoner. The MC, an experienced gamer, is collecting a team, and fighting their way up the league! The battles are so detailed, and the MC and ML, although on different teams, are SO OP and BADASS whenever they pair up with each other.

Other:

Beloved Husband: (quick transmigration) A novel from the seme/gong perspective! The premise is that the seme transmigrates into the world, without any memories, but always falls in love immediately with his shou/uke. The previous owner of the body was a scum, but the main character isn’t, and does his best to love his husband~

Live Broadcasting Raising Dragons in the Interstellar: What it says on the tin, lol. It’s an A/B/O setting...that basically doesn’t come up. The MC has transmigrated and retains his abilities from his previous world. But again, it’s not so important, the important point is this calm, serious, somewhat cold-faced MC raises the cutest like dragon orphans and dragon kids. The ML is a dragon (dragons also have human form), and the ML is like...sometimes the smallest baby of all hehe

[sunmaylight]

TGCF Book 3 Reaction pt.3 - Wind Master’s Self-Designated Quest & The Events that Happen After

I am back again with reactions & comments for when I read book 3. 

This is honestly fun for me because I can look back at what I read and remember my first reaction to everything. I can also see how things connect to make up each arc by going back and reading them. 

I really want to start book 4, but completing this first so I compose myself and not be a mess of emotions reading it. Cause, any book that is mainly about Xie Lian’s past is bound to be filled with angst and possible tears for the guy.

Ch 102: The Love for All Seasons Stew, the stew Xie Lian made and Shi Qingxuan is enthusiastically wanting to try some, shares with Ming Yi. Hua Cheng eats it like nothing and gives Xie Lian feedback

- Me: Ah, RIP Shi Qingxuan and Ming Yi. It was nice knowing you two.

Start of the Venerable of Empty Words

Ch 103: The stew knocks out Ming Yi and sends Shi Qingxuan to tears. Then Shi Qingxuan hallucinates

- Me: You know, by this point Xie Lian should have his own warning label to prevent this from happening in the future. What if he made something for Jun Wu and kills him with his cooking? Actually, that sounds pretty funny. This just in: Heavenly Emperor Jun Wu defeated by a plate of questionable food made by his favorite Heavenly Official, Xie Lian.

103: Shi Qingxuan tells a horror story. Xie Lian feels a cold breeze and discovers it’s made by SQX.

- Ah, I think I’m understanding more that Heavenly Officials are really eccentric. Especially the upper court.

Xie Lian casually mentioning he has encountered a Venerable of Empty Words in the past and how that ghost left him after staying with the fallen god for almost a year.

- Me: *sobs* Xie Lian. 

Wind Master talking about his past before ascension and then post ascension

- Me: Okay, but did you actually ascend?

Learns about Heavenly Calamities

- Me: Well, that will surely be relevant in the future.

105: Investigating for the Ghost. Learns that from a tampered list that Hua Cheng killed vengeful, malevolent tyrants

- Me: Hua Cheng, who else have you killed? How the fu-dge is it that you are more productive than Heavenly Officials in making sure nothing bad happens?

As the group was going to leave, Xie Lian remembers the kids (& Qi Rong). 

Hua Cheng: I have already called a babysitter. Don’t worry about a thing Gege.

106: The group was teleported to the wrong place.

- Me: Well, aren’t things starting out just lovely.

Hua Cheng changed clothes and Xie Lian Noticed. 

Hua Cheng & Xie Lian exchange verbal communication passwords. Hua Cheng’s password has Xie Lian blushing.

- Me: WHAT IS IT?

Xie Lian’s password: “Just recite the Ethics Sutra a thousand times.”

- Me: ...Is that a joke? Xie Lian, if they actually had to recite that, it’s like saying you don’t want people to talk to you.

Xie Lian’s password is revealed to be just that phrase. He set it up as a joke

- Me: goddamnit. I have been bamboozled. 

Learning about the legend of the Potential Scholar He, who was mad smart but got a lot of people wanting to crush him out of jealousy. He died after getting his revenge against those who were gatekeeping him.

- Me: HI! WHERE IS THE SHRINE FOR THIS GUY. I NEED A SHRINE TO WORSHIP SCHOLAR HE AS WELL AS A CERTAIN DIANXIA AND HUA CHENGZU

Xie Lian and Hua Cheng now have to play Mafia in a four man group.

Ch 108: A game to sniff out the Word Ghost. The game reminds me of the Japanese Game, King’s Game.

- Me: Is there a Chinese equivalent to the King’s Game?

SQX -’king’- Xie Lian and Hua Cheng have to strip each other. Just one layer

- Me: If this was me to my crush, I would be weirded out to do this in front of my friends. Unless if I was drunk

SQX to Hua Cheng (from the book): “What’s the worse suffering in the world?”

Hua Cheng: “To watch with your own eyes your beloved be trampled and ridiculed, yet unable to do anything. That’s the worse suffering in the world.”

- Me: (ToT) Hua Cheng. I got to mark this down. Hua Cheng’s beloved and him need their happy ending.

Ming Yi to Xie Lian: “What’s the biggest regret of your life?”

Xie Lian: “My Second Ascension.”

- Me: !!! Xie Lian, what the F*CK happened during the shortest ascension recorded in Heaven?

Ch 109: Hua Cheng lends Xie Lian a ‘bit’ of spiritual power. Xie Lian does a palm thrust and blows off the roof of the temple.

- Xie Lian & Me: ...Hua Cheng, that’s a little bit?

Hua Cheng: Was that not enough? I can lend you more.

Ch 110: Hua Cheng puts on a mini fashion show to Xie Lian in the middle of something important. 

Xie Lian: *focus is pulled away to stare at Hua Cheng*

- Me: Okay. Cute, but please focus. There is a time and place for everything. Now is not the time!

Water Master is suppose to prepare for the third Heavenly Calamity. SQX is kidnapped

- Me: What if this is the third calamity? Having to save SQX from the Venerable of Empty Words?

Xie Lian wants to do a soul-shifting spell, but Hua Cheng is stopping him.

- Me: Hm, does Hua Cheng know something? That is suspicious.

Ch 111: Venerable of Empty Words says: “Don’t worry, with your eyes wide open, you will watch the person coming to seek you die before you!”

- Me: *Thinks of Hua Cheng for Xie Lian* Shit, it got to Xie Lian. I really hope this doesn’t happen in the future. Cause, it’s not like Hua Cheng can die by conventional means since his ashes are ***** - Safe

Wind Master is revealed to be wearing a lot of treasures and gems on their person

- Me: Why is Wind Master wearing all of that?

Soul-Shifting spell ends, Xie Lian hears Hua Cheng’s voice

- Oh shit. I think Hua Cheng is mad.

SQX: “This is the Terrace of Cascading Wine. It’s where I ascended”

- Me: Wait, SQX is one of the Four Famous Tales? The odd one that is like Qi Rong that is about a guy who ascended for just pouring wine?

Learns that Xie Lian was actually sleeping when he ascended.

- Which ascension did that happen at?

SQX is in hysteria after Shi Wudu grabs him. SQX was acting suspicious before then SWD arrived.

- Me: Wow, what happened to SQX? D-did he actually fail his Heavenly Calamity and this is part of the punishment? Do Heavenly Officials get an advance notice that they have a Heavenly Calamity they have to face? Or is he behaving like this because of the removal of all of those artifacts and jewels?

-----

Ch 113: Hua Cheng sent a step-litter, a step-litter that is very extravagant, to Xie Lian. Hua Cheng is giving Xie Lian a fancy carriage ride towards somewhere.

- Me: Wow. What an obvious sign that Hua Cheng has deep feelings for Xie Lian 

The whole Step-Litter Scene of Ghost calling Xie Lian Hua Cheng’s ‘lady’ while he was in the Step-Litter and everything after until they drop Xie Lian off at Puqi Shrine

- Me: THIS NEEDS TO BE ANIMATED

Xie Lian’s new banner: “Return Babes through Miraculous Hands”

- No words

Hua Cheng helping Xie Lian do a task of working in the field. There is an indescribable tension that has been created through Xie Lian’s dense brain

- Me: Man, you can slice the tension with a sword and they still wouldn’t realize anything.

Xie Lian has a mysterious donor who filled his donation box with gold bars. He decides to return them

- Me: Yes, good for you Xie Lian. You do you.

The Drama between the Wind and Water Masters

- Me: You know, there is someone on YouTube who animated this part. I can now only visualize that while reading through my notes.

Earth Master forged his shovel to be his spiritual device. Ming Yi, Shi Qingxuan and Xie Lian travel through the tunnels dug by the Earth Master’s Shovel under Heaven

- Me: Wait, does this mean technically anything can be made into a spiritual device?

SQX can’t access his spiritual powers

- Me: shit. Did he actually fail a Heavenly Trial against Reverend of Empty Words?

The three are forced to dig and end up at Quan Yizhen’s palace with Pei Ming behind them

Pei Ming: QYZ, help me out and capture them

QYZ: *sees Xie Lian and remembers what he did for him during the Lantern Festival* - Grabs bed and throws it at Pei Ming- YEET!

Xie Lian tosses dice and the three end up at Puqi Shrine again. Xie Lian is greeted to the sight of a shirtless Hua Cheng finishing up some labour work with using E-Ming.

- Me: Is this going to be Xie Lian’s gay awakening? Will he finally acknowledge he has feelings for Hua Cheng?

Xie Lian immediately calms down and gets back into action

- Me: dang it!

The group, now with Hua Cheng, teleports to the Rain Master’s land. They exchange what they know and Xie Lian is drawing a very terrifying conclusion.

- Me: So, if there was a chart of the four famous tales compared to the four great calamities based on comparing their authenticity of tales

- Xie Lian    Hua Cheng       (They have to match somewhat)

- Princess who slit her throat         White No-Face      (Both have very little knowledge and seem very much bamf)

- General who broke his sword       Black Water       (Just vibes based on their names)

- Shi Qingxuan         Qi Rong     (Don’t really match the others, but are famous enough to get on the list)

Xie Lian connects the dots on Scholar He's name

- is that even possible?

Pei Ming arrives and then the group moves to Shi Wudu’s Heavenly Trial ground cause mortals are in danger. Their mission is to help the mortals and not get in the way of Water Master. 

Hua Cheng changes into a fisherman outfit

Xie Lian and Hua Cheng share a tender moment with a steam bun. General Pei watches them

- Me: Oh? Pei Ming, what did you notice? Did you notice the potential ship between the two of them?

118: The ship somehow wandered into the Ship-Sinking Black Water’s territory.

- Me: Oh no. The drama.

--------

Alright, here seems good. The next part will be the Wind & Water Master Arc pt 2 (?). At least I think so since the Wind part was discovered and now it’s the Water part that’s next. 

You know, I really wanted to comment on a bunch of other stuff. Especially the Hualian moments, but decided against it cause there are some things that should be read

[shijiujun]

On Translations

Once again, I’m just plain incensed by dumbasses who think it’s okay to firstly, steal someone else’s hard work and secondly, think they’ve got some right to edit that person’s work because they think they’ve got a better grip on English (not true btw) - It didn’t happen to me (well, as far as I know) and I’m not in the Guardian fandom and I don’t personally know the person who’s dealing with this ridiculous shit, but oof am I angry after seeing the tweet.

Just saw on twitter that some asshole stole a translator’s works (Guardian, Chinese to English) and edited it - Yes it’s just like the MDZS saga a few weeks ago when some white person who doesn’t have any Chinese language knowledge, tried to ‘improve’ translations done by another person who actually knows what they’re doing in both Chinese and English - And then put in on Wattpad with a ridiculous letter and intro where they said: “Great things can be made greater” to explain why they edited the English of the original translation.

“Great things can be made greater,” said the thief.

“I hope my actions will be appreciated,” said the thief again.

Like wow, once again, the audacity - There’ve been extensive arguments on translations since the MDZS saga a few weeks ago and obviously the fan who took ExR’s translations and ‘made them better’ stupidly stepped on a landmine by fucking with the MDZS fandom that has a longer history, more resources and clout than the amount of time she’s been exposed to MDZS via CQL, and got bitch-slapped by the rest of the fandom where there exists a majority of fans knowing clearly what to do and not to do.

Unfortunately, the same can’t be said of all fandoms, especially smaller ones - The user i saw is a translator for Guardian and the mofo 1. Stole their translations 2. Edited the translations to ‘better english’ 3. Wrote that they don’t know who did the original translations but “they know where to find me” *cue my eyeroll* 4. And after op commented to say please credit at the very least in May, they’ve been ignored so far - but luckily they’ve got some supporters as well to help report the mofo.

Aside from the ridiculous thievery (not crediting, blatantly lying and stealing, being an arrogant, indecent person stuck on that high horse) of course, the “I believe that great things can be made greater” is a fucking load of bullshit in this instance, and I mean taking someone else’s translations and adding your own spin to it because you think you’ve taken tests in English as a first language in school all your life (fuck off, a lot of these translators did too), that you’ve got some superiority over English or because you think it reads funny?

Granted, most fan translators don’t put up flawless translations (once again, these translators are FREE LABOUR), but you get it for free and you don’t have to (and can’t) read the original text, so suck it up.

Moreover, the disgust that I feel at the claim that the thief’s work is now ‘greater’ is extremely visceral - It’s not a greater piece of work because the thief stole it, period. No one asked for the thief’s help.

(In case you guys are curious the stolen post on Wattpad is here: https://my.w.tt/7dehLj7D56 and if you’d like to report just follow the instructions)

On Chinese to English translations:

1. If you don’t have good grasp of the original language, you have no right editing the translated work after, regardless of language. Until you can clearly understand the original idioms, context, characters etc. or have at least lived with the language for a substantial part of your life, honestly, just stop, you’ve got no right! 

Sure, some translators aren’t as good as you like them to be, but the argument is always, well, you wouldn’t even have this minimal translation if they didn’t do it, so yay you’re like a few sentences and words closer to the text than you were before. If it’s really that bad, hopefully there are better translations and you can ignore the one you’re looking at, but the same rules apply across all translations!! Don’t disrespect the translator (especially when they’ve done nothing wrong except try to give you access to more content).

2. For Chinese, it’s even worse because the language is known for its hidden nuances and complexities within just two to four characters that, when translated into English, can sometimes take up to two long sentences to explain. That’s why sometimes shit reads funny. It’s not that these translators can’t do English, but Chinese to English acrobatics is beyond your comprehension, hell sometimes it’s beyond translators’ comprehension, so thanks for editing something you’ve got no idea about. This user Bee made a very good argument thread IMO about this on Twitter which I suggest people read

3. Adding your edits to a translated piece of work especially without permission or discussion with the translator, honestly who the fuck are you to do that? Either work your damn ass off by painstakingly translating the original and then editing it however you like, or just... enjoy the free content. Chinese BL novels (in this instance and as in many instances i’ve seen) and some of these translators have been around for longer than you’ve been in the fandom, so suddenly when you have an interest in the content, in a culture and language that you’ve never seen before, are unfamiliar with and have zero knowledge about, you think that as a fan you now have the right to edit someone else’s work that was already done correctly? 

The fact is if the translator wrote a bogus line in the English translations, you wouldn’t have known, and when you upload it as your own and ‘improve’ it, you would be a joke, but you didn’t read the original text did you, so what makes you are any sort of authority to edit the translations?

4. Of course this is not to say that non-Chinese speaking people can’t enjoy the same content or have excellent, poignant discussions and understanding over the content, but honestly a lot of translations don’t capture 100% of a Chinese novel because the nuances are just that complex, and translators do their best to convey it regardless - This is why RESPECT FOR THE TRANSLATOR IS IMPORTANT. And I don’t mean simply paying lip service and typing “we respect all translators for their hard work on this work”, and then disrespect it entirely by not crediting, by the simple act of editing without permission etc.

Respect their interpretation and translations, because it can differ from translator to translator translating the same sentence (and people who don’t speak the original language want to compete with that, I don’t understand?!)

5. Honestly, considering how people are still arguing on the semantics of the Bible for example, not only in its original language but also in English alone - if people can’t agree on every sentence of the holy text and what each sentence means to different people, fan translators get a fucking pass

6. I read in Bee’s threads where someone disagreed with their argument of ‘only people who understand the original language can translate and edit’, saying that it’s okay if the editor doesn’t have a grasp of the original language - I understand that yes, someone else’s English might truly be better (for e.g. actual editors but also please don’t proclaim that you’re one just because you think the translator hasn’t lived with English for most of their lives or whatever), but even then, the editor has to work really closely with the translator because the translator is the primary source of the translation i.e. they know exactly what is going on in a particular sentence in their heads that may not have been translated fully, so how can non-Chinese reading editors truly understand the translated text on its own, editing in silos?

7. Perhaps in actual publishing houses that deal with official translations, this is a fallacy that is ever-present and editors do that anyway without understanding the original text (not sure about this, I’m bringing up the point for consideration, hypothetically putting this out here), but my issue with ‘editors’ in the fan translations space is that they come off sitting on some high horse because they think they’re better in English than you are (which of course yes, might be true, but then read points 1-6 again)

8. A thief is a thief, don’t put up an open letter or disclaimer explaining your motivations. It’s plain and simple, you stole someone else’s work, claimed it for your own and are riding on the great (sometimes not so great but still great, if you get what I mean) work that the translator did. You don’t get to claim ownership for any part of it, even your edits. And once again, “original work belongs to the translators” without actually naming the translators? Fuck off.

9. God, I hate Wattpad and Instagram (okay sometimes Twitter but Twitter seems to be a halfway point) - The Sanctuaries for Lazy Content Thieves Where The Platform Endorses Their Shitty Behaviour

10. Aside from translations, I’ve also seen assholes stealing like shitposts and jokes - These are the hardest to prove as well and it’s almost impossible to claim ownership when someone steals your jokes. Thieves only wish they had as creative a brain as some of you (didn’t happen to me but to a mutual) do. The audacity. The audacity! if the work was actually done and paid and recorded, if TurnItIn.com was available for fandom posts, these thieves would be out of gas.

11. Fan translators are not obligated to answer to any of their readers when it comes to why they translated something a certain way. You don’t like it or don’t agree with it, simply ignore, close the tab and go find another translation you like, it’s that simple. Nowadays readers 1. Threaten/Diss the translator directly and rudely 2. Steal the work 3. Add their own spin on it without understanding the original content and say: Yay! Look at this I made it so much better so give me some attention 

*****

The point of this post is not to claim ownership over any fandom or content just because translators or Chinese-speaking/reading people in the fandom know the content better. It’s also not to say that non-Chinese speaking/reading people can’t enjoy, understand, have great discussions over original Chinese content, because just from MDZS alone you can see that they can. Of course there are also individuals who might not be able to speak the language but are familiar with Chinese culture etc. because they’ve studied or lived it well, or maybe they’ve actually watched decades of Chinese drama to be able to analyse it properly now, all that’s awesome. 

Also, I’m all for people who are learning Chinese (or any language for that matter) to translate something as practice. That’s great, that’s good, that’s to be admired!! 

It’s non-Chinese speaking/reading people who claim they know the original content better than translators without any discussions, claiming some superiority over the content because they think the translation is not done well enough without doing any of the ground work that I really have an issue with (and also the fuckers who steal of course XD).

*****

And unfortunately I had too much time on my hands today and got pissed off after seeing the tweet so some of you have to read through this drivel XD

[skinks]

hi!!! what are your favourite movies? like actually good ones but also any trashy comfort movies? is IT (2017) one of them?

Hello!! IT (2017) IS ABSOLUTELY ONE OF THEM oh man, thank you for this, I love talking about movies!!!! This is possibly the most difficult question you could have asked me. Apologies for how absolutely off the rails this got, I just... love movies so much lmao

I’ve said this before, but opening night of IT ch1 was the best cinema experience I’ve ever had, I’m so glad I got to see it with a fully packed audience who were all laughing and screaming together the whole way through. I’m a huge fan of... everything ch1 was doing, the 80s nostalgia, the summer-coming-of-age themes, the solid ghost train funhouse JOY of the Pennywise performance and scares, the washed-out cinematography, the tiny background details to make everything that much more eerie, the kids’ ACTING?!

Like, a lot of the time I find child actors can be really awkward and stilted to watch, but I remember leaving the cinema really impressed by JDG and Sophia Lillis in particular. I liked that they were all allowed to be little shitheads with potty mouths, it felt like a callback to 80s movies like The Lost Boys or Stand By Me. The whole thing worked to make me really care about what happened to the kids (even if I do still have issues with how they handled Mike. I understand even ch1 had limitations with juggling so many characters, but still). I saw it another 2 times in the cinema and have rewatched it at least, I dunno, 7-10 more times since then?

Add to all of that the retroactive CANON R+E baby pining subplot? I just love it, as if that wasn’t obvious by now given my Whole Blog. It’s a really special movie to me!

Anyway!! Ok, the main handful of movies I rewatch all the fucking time are:

Back to the Future, The Lost Boys, Pride and Prejudice (2005), Jaws, Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, The Breakfast Club, Ocean’s 11, POTC 1, The Dark Knight, Inception, Die Hard, LOTR trilogy, Snatch, The Nice Guys, Logan Lucky, Mad Max Fury Road, Clueless, 10 Things I Hate About You, Billy Elliot, Dirty Dancing, Tomb Raider (2018)...

Those are the easily consumable ones that I’ve seen so many times I don’t really have to concentrate or think about them, but I really love them and unfortunately often KEEP rewatching them instead of new stuff. It would take too long to go into why I love all these movies so much because I could write the same amount as I already did for ITCH1, and everyone already knows why those movies are good, so, lol.

I think I’m gonna have to subdivide and categorise this whole post because there are too many separate criteria for... goOD MOVIES, AUUHH 😩

Okay so first off, HORROR MOVIES? I’m especially in love with Re-Animator (1985) and its sequel Bride of Re-Animator, they’re such good examples of camp and batshit 80s practical effects, and also EXTREMELY funny. I’m actually just gonna post my list of my fave horror movies that I do actually keep on my phone at all times lmao. These are in no particular order:

Wholeheartedly recommend every one of these. I’ve never been so scared in my life as I was watching Hereditary in the cinema, hoo boy. Mother! by Aronofsky is one of the strangest experiences I’ve ever had (and I actually saw it on the same day I saw IT ch1 for the first time!! That was a fun day)

Psycho (1960) and The Fly from 1986 should also be on there but I couldn’t fit them in the screenshot.

I’m a HUGE fan of a ton of martial arts movies too, like Kung Fu Hustle, Shaolin Soccer, Ip Man, The Raid movies, John Wick 3 is my fave of the trilogy, Drive from 1997 with Mark Dacascos is incredible, SPL 2, Ong-Bak, Operation Condor, Project A, Iron Monkey, and Zatoichi (2003) are some favourites.

My favourite Tarantino is Reservoir Dogs, fave Coen brothers are Raising Arizona, The Ballad of Buster Scruggs and O Brother Where Art Thou. Love some old-timey colour correction and weird offbeat dialogue. I also love Goodfellas!!! And Donnie Brasco! And The Firm, I’m so easy for any good crime/law/gangster/heist procedural like that, especially if they’re from the 80s or 90s in a super dated way.

Fave Disney movie is Tarzan, favourite Ghibli movies are Spirited Away and Lupin III. I remember watching Spirited Away during a thunderstorm one time and it being.... god! Transcendent! Favourite Pixar movie is The Incredibles (the first one. ALSO the documentary “The Pixar Story” is great and well worth a watch, it’s very comforting for some reason) and my favourite Dreamworks movies are HTTYD1 and Spirit: Stallion of the Cimmaron.

I tend to watch more anime movies than tv shows, so stuff like Akira, The Girl Who Leapt Through Time, Summer Wars, Journey to Agartha, and my ultimate fave anime is Sword of the Stranger (2008). The climactic fight in that movie is fucking stunning and should be counted in “bests fights” lists right alongside anything live action

Also if we’re talking animated movies another hearty favourite is Rango, and a Belgian stop-motion (which at one time I considered my favourite movie ever) called Panique Au Village (2009) which is one of the funniest movies ever made imo.

As for TRASHY movies, I’m not sure if that’s the right word for how I feel about these ones but.. dumb/silly/slightly guilty pleasure movies? Ones that I feel need some kind of justification lmfao

Troy - something u must know about me is that I’m a giant slut for the Assassin’s Creed franchise, so if a movie smashes historical and mythological nonsense together with fun costumes and sword fights, I’m gonna enjoy myself. Even if they should have made Achilles and Patroclus gay. Other movies in this vein are King Arthur: Legend of the Sword, and Immortals (2011)

Gods of Egypt - I know all the reasons this movie is whitewashed bullshit. But it was already bullshit with giant Anubis mecha and giant snakes and bad acting and ridiculous CGI and frankly I had a blast at the cinema (my friend who I forced to come with me did not have a blast. Sorry H***)

Avatar - yes, the one with the big blue people. This movie gets a lot of flack nowadays but I really do enjoy it just for the spectacle. The full CGI world technology was so new at the time and I love to wallow in the visuals and daydream about riding a cool dragon around in the jungle

George of the Jungle - I’ll defend this movie to the death ok this movie shaped me as a person, it is fucking hilarious and Brendan Fraser is the himbo to end all himbos. It’s perfect. The song Dela is perfect. I still want to write a reddie AU about it. It’s one of the best movies ever made and I’m not being ironic

Set It Up - I KNOW this is a dumb Netflix original romcom but consider this; it was funny and the leads had great chemistry. I got butterflies. I once watched it and then literally immediately set it back to the start so I could watch it again

The Brady Bunch Movie - when people talk about great satires or parodies you will see them bring up the same movies over and over again, Blazing Saddles, This Is Spinal Tap etc, but they never talk about The Brady Bunch Movie from 1995 for some reason, which they should. It is one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen and every time i watch it somehow it gets funnier

Some more general favourites that I do still love but don’t rewatch as often, and don’t wanna go into more detail about are:

Moon (2009), Crna Mačka Beli Mačor, The Sixth Sense, Parasite, The Handmaiden, Tremors, Wet Hot American Summer, Tucker and Dale vs Evil, What We Do In The Shadows, Hunt For the Wilderpeople, The Secret of My Success (I love kitschy 80s movies, is that obvious by now), The Green Mile, When Harry Met Sally, Rear Window, The Odd Couple, Breaking Away, Pan’s Labyrinth, To Kill A Mockingbird, The Eagle, Gladiator, The Artist, The Extraordinary Adventures of Adèle Blanc-Sec, Call Me By Your Name, Master and Commander, Pacific Rim, Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, Legend (1985), Emma. (2020), Flash Gordon, Trolljegeren, Hross í Oss, Beverly Hills Cop, Coming to America, WarGames, District 9, Ajeossi (2010), Tracks (2013), Sightseers, Mud (2012), Pitch Black, Four Lions, Shaun of the Dead, Starship Troopers, The Truman Show, Withnail & I....... Jesus Christ ok I need to stop

NOTABLE EXTREME FAVOURITES that I didn’t include in the regular rewatch list because they’re too heavy/not as well known/require more attention.:

Thin Red Line (1998), Badlands (1973) both dir. Terrence Malick

Malick’s brand of dreamy impressionistic filmmaking is something I find really appealing, both of these movies are gorgeous and unusual and poignant and, in the case of Thin Red Line at least, have a lot of things to say about a lot of rough subjects. I don’t totally understand all those things sometimes, but a theme with a lot of my favourite movies is that I’ll be more likely to love something long-term if it raises unanswered questions, or is surreal/esoteric etc. Plus the cinematography is incredible, and I wish there was a way to get Jim Caviezel’s narration from The Thin Red Line as an audiobook because it’s very poetic and soothing.

Let the Bullets Fly (2010) dir. Jiang Wen

This movie is WILD, it’s so much fun. It’s sprawling and intricate and epic and smart and really fucking funny, it! Has! Everything! A gang of very tolerant outlaws!! Jiang Wen’s beautiful broad chest!!! Chow Yun Fat absolutely DECIMATING the scenery, and the two of them outsmarting each other in order to gain control of a small Chinese town!!! Plus it’s long, but it packs so much nonsense and intrigue that it goes by really fast. Wow what a flick

A Field in England (2013) dir. Ben Wheatley

I know I included this in my horror list but aaaaahhh ahhhh Wheatley is one of my favourite directors (he also made Sightseers, and is directing the Tomb Raider sequel which makes me absolutely rabid.) This is a surreal black-and-white psychological horror black comedy set in the English Civil War about some deserters who may or may not meet the Devil in a field. People eat mushrooms. It’s bonkers. I love being blasted in the face with imagery that I don’t understand

Mandy (2018) dir. Panos Cosmatos

Speaking of being blasted in the face!!!!! This movie... I saw it in the cinema and I can’t even begin to explain the experience, but I’ll try. My favourite review site described it like this:

“...somewhere between a prog album cover come to life and a metal album cover come to life, and subscribes to both genre's artistic tendency towards maximalism: what it ends up being is basically naught else but two glorious hours of being pounded by bold colors...”

So, prog and metal are my two favourite genres of music. This movie opens with the quote “When I die, bury me deep, lay two speakers at my feet, put some headphones on my head and rock and roll me when I'm dead.” and then a King Crimson song, it is SURREAL to the nth degree, it’s violent and bizarre and Nic Cage forges a giant silver axe to destroy demonic bikers and there is a CHAINSAW DUEL. A galaxy swirls above a quarry. Multiple animated horror nightmare sequences. At one point a man says “you exude a cosmic darkness” and releases a live tiger. At another point Cage says, in a digitally deepened voice, “The psychotic drowns where the mystic swims. You’re drowning. I’m swimming.” and I haven’t stopped thinking about it for two years

Paper Moon (1973) dir. Peter Bogdanovich

Really fantastic movie set in the Great Depression (and also in black & white) about a conman and a little kid who may or may not be his daughter, running cons across the Midwest. It’s beautifully shot, so sharp and sweet and the progression of their dynamic is really well done because they’re played by an IRL father and daughter. Tatum O’Neal was NINE YEARS OLD and she’s so amazing in this movie she’s actually the youngest person to win a competitive category Oscar. I keep trying to get people to watch this fbdjfjdbf it’s wonderful

Alpha (2018) dir. Albert Hughes

THIS MOVIE IS A VICTIM OF BAD MARKETING ok, the trailers made it look like some twee crappy sentimental Boy And His Dog Adventure, plus it had voiceovers in American-accented english? That’s a total disservice to one of the coolest things about this film; the fact that they got a linguist to construct an entirely original Neolithic language that all the characters speak for the entire runtime. And yes, it is eventually a Boy And His Wolf adventure, but it’s COOL and fairly brutal, and it has some really incredible cinematography. The landscapes are so strange and barren and alien, you really get the sense that this is an ancient world we no longer have any connection to. And it’s also about like, the birth of dog & human companionship sooo it’s perfect.

Free Solo (2018) dir. Elizabeth Chai Vasarhelyi, Jimmy Chin

The Free Climbing Documentary. I loved climbing as a kid, I love outdoor sports, and I love movies that elicit a physical reaction in me, whether that’s horny, scared, real laughter, overwhelming shivers, or in the case of Free Solo - HORRIBLE SWEATING TENSION. Like, I knew about Alex Honnold beforehand because of this adventure film festival I go to every year and I followed him on IG so obviously I knew he lived, but the actual climb itself was torture. My hands sweat every time I see it!! It’s incredible, such a cool look into generally what the human body can do, and more specifically, why Honnold’s psychology and life means he’s so well suited to free soloing. It’s such an exercise in getting to know an individual and get invested in them, before they attempt something very potentially fatal.

Brokeback Mountain (2005) dir. Ang Lee

I can’t even talk about this. When I was around 13 I snuck downstairs to watch this on TV at 11pm in secret, and my life was forever changed. I wouldn’t be who I am if I hadn’t seen Brokeback at the age I did. I seriously can’t talk about this or I’ll write an even longer essay than this already is

God’s Own Country (2017) dir. Francis Lee

The antidote to Brokeback Mountain, I’m so glad I managed to see this one in the cinema too. It makes me cry every time, as someone who’s spent years working on a cold British farm with sheep it was very realistic, which is expected since Lee grew up on a farm in Yorkshire. I love that this movie isn’t really about being closeted, but about being so emotionally repressed and self-loathing that the main character finds it so hard to accept love. Or that he deserves to be loved. The cinnamontographies.... lordt... but also the intimacy and sex scenes are fucking searing wow who hasn’t seen this movie by now. 10 stars. 20 stars!!!

Tomboy (2011) dir. Céline Sciamma

I saw this years ago but I’ve never forgotten it, it cut so deep. It’s from the director of Portrait of a Lady on Fire and it’s about a gnc kid struggling with gender and misogyny and homophobia in a really raw, scrappy way, it reminded me very much of my own... childhood... ahh the central performance is amazing for such a young age. I haven’t seen Portrait yet but I feel like if you went nuts for that, you should definitely check this out, it’s lovely.

Donnie Darko (2001) dir. Richard Kelly

EVERY TIME I WATCH THIS MOVIE I UNDERSTAND LESS AND LESS and that’s what I love so much about it. I love surreal movies, I love time-fuckery and stuff about altered perception etc etc and Donnie Darko scratches all my itches. I wish I could find a way to figure out an IT AU for it, because I know it would work! Somehow! Plus it’s got the subdued 80s nostalgia and I found it at an age when I was really starting to explore movies and music and the soundtrack FUCKS.

Offside (2006) dir. Jafar Panahi

I wish more people knew about this!!! It’s an Iranian film about a disparate group of women and girls who are football fans and want to watch Iran’s qualifying match for the World Cup, but women aren’t allowed into the stadium, so they all get thrown into the Stadium Jail together? They don’t know each other beforehand, but it’s about their changing relationships with each other and the guards and just, their defiance alongside hearing the match from the outside and WOW it’s so lively. Great dialogue and very funny, and such a different kind of story from anything you usually see from Hollywood.

The Fall (2006) dir. Tarsem Singh

This movie... I guess it’s the ideal. This is the platonic ideal of a film for me, it has fantasy, magical realism, glorious visuals, amazing score and costumes and production design and a really interesting, heartbreaking relationship at the core of it. I don’t know why so many of my favourite films feature incredibly raw performances by child actors but this is another one, Catinca Untaru barely knew any English and improvised so much because of that, and it’s fascinating to watch! Also the dynamic with Lee Pace is one of my favourites, where a kid forms a friendship with a guardian figure who isn’t their parent, but the guardian grows to really care for them by the end. It’s like Paper Moon in that sense. What is there to even say about this movie, it’s pure magic joy tempered and countered by genuine gutwrenching emotional conflict in the real world, it’s also ABOUT old moviemaking, in a way, and it’s stunning to look at!

Mad Max Fury Road (2015) dir. George Miller

I know I included this in my “most rewatched” section but it deserves its own thing. We all know why this movie is fucking incredible. I remember clutching my armrests in the cinema and feeling like my skeleton was being blasted back into the seat behind me and tbh that is the high I’m constantly chasing when I go to see any movie. What a fucking gift this film is

Théo et Hugo dans le Même Bateau (2016) dir. Olivier Ducastel, Jacques Martineau

I only found this movie last year and it became an instant favourite. Initially I was just curious because I’d never seen a movie with unsimulated sex before, but it’s so much more than the 18 minute gay sex club orgy it opens with. No, not more than, AS WELL AS. The orgy is important because this movie is so candid and frank about sex and HIV treatment in the modern day, it was eye-opening. Another thing that really got me is that I’d never seen a real-time film before. It’s literally an hour and a half in the lives of these two men, their intense connection and conversation and conflict in the middle of the night in Paris, with some really nice night photography and just!!! Wow!!! AMAZING CHEMISTRY between the actors. This is such a gem if you’re comfortable with explicit sexual content.

Ok. This is already over 3k but film is obviously one of my ridiculous passions and I can and do talk about it for hours. I’ve been reading magazines about it for years, listening to podcasts and reading review blogs and recently, watching video essays on YouTube because the whole process is so interesting to me and I want to learn more!!

Recently I’ve been thinking a lot about the concept of valuing form over narrative. The idea that story can often come second to the deeper physical experience and emotional reaction that’s created by using ALL the elements of filmmaking and not just The Story, y’know? Whether that’s editing, shot composition, colour, the sound mix, the actors, how it should all be used to heighten the emotional state the script wants you to feel. And so, I think for a few years now this approach has been influencing the types of films I really, really love.

I think I love surreality and mind-bending magical realism in films specifically because the filmmakers have to use all those different tools to convey things that can be way too metaphysical for just... a script? I’m always chasing that physical response; if a movie can make me stop thinking “I wonder what it was like to set up that shot” and instead overwhelm that suspension of disbelief, if I can be terrified or woozy or crying for whatever reason, that’s what I’m looking for. That’s why I watch so many fuckin movies, and why I’ll always remember nights like seeing IT (2017) for giving me another favourite.

Thank you again for this question, I didn’t mean to go so overboard. Also there’s no way to do a readmore on tumblr mobile so apologies to anyone’s dashboard 😬

[naanima]

Joy of Life (庆余年) - Cdrama Rec!!!!

Joy of Life (庆余年) is a Chinese television series based on the novel Qing Yunian (庆余年) by Mao Ni (who has written several popular series). The story is a transmigration series! Yes, a transmigration series. The tv series in the first few mins set up the premise, what if a modern person is sent to ancient China (feudal area) with modern beliefs and morals.

Our main character (Zhang Ruoyun whom I have watched a tonne of series I would normally not watch for) is transmigrated to an alternative universe ancient China in the body of an infant called Fan Xian who is being protected from being assassinated. Yes, people are trying to kill a new born because of his mother. Fan Xian is saved by Wuzhu, the blind folded martial artist who is all protecting Fan Xian, killing anyone who tries to kill Fan Xian, and picking fights. I love Wuzhu, he is one of my favs in the book and show full of awesome characters.

Wuzhu takes Fan Xian to the kid’s grandmother. Fan Xian is the son of the Imperial Secretariat Fan Jian. Fan Xian grows up in an estate with his grandmother, and protected by Wuzhu. At the age of eighteen, Fan Xian is recalled to the capital by his father due to Fan Xian’s impending political marriage with a princess. The princess happens to the illegitimate daughter of the Grand Princess who is in control of the inner treasury or underwear. If Fan Xian was to successfully marry the princess he would become the person in control of the inner treasury, which makes him an extremely popular among all sort of court officials and the Crown Princess and the Second Prince. And hence start Fan Xian’s troubles; assassination attempts, political pitfalls, the princes courting of his power, the Grand Princess’ plans, the emperor’s interests and so much more.

Here ends the basic summary. Now why you should watch this.

The PACING and script of this show is amazing. We can all admit that 95% of Chinese television shows suffer from pacing issues. JoL does not have that problem at all, the script is tight and fast, and actually follows logic. The script is written by Wang Juan, he who write amazing scripts. So, it is fucking great that he has kept up the excellent record of great scripts.

The cast is amazing – I love Zhang Ruoyun, I have watched so much crap for Zhang Ruoyun and have never regretted. Even when the production he is in is mediocre I can still accept it. But beyond zry, the young cast are all excellent, many of them with years of experience in theatre or smaller roles. The older cast are full award winning actors, and let me tell you, there is nothing like watching three old dudes talk and just being drawn in by the ACTING. The sheer amazing master class acting.  

The characters – YOU WILL LOVE OR AT THE VERY LEAST BE ENTERTAINED BY EVERY CHARACTER. Fan Xian, our main lead who likes to troll others, is super smart, and just want to live a life of peace and comfort. But what is better than Fan Xian is when he is surrounded by a host of people who often smacks him down for when he is being too much of a smug little shit. Fan Xian’s family are so supportive and hilarious in their own way; there is his stone faced father who loves him dearly, his younger sister who is eager and trust him 100%, his younger brother who only wants to make money not to use it but just because he likes money, his stepmother who isn’t the smartest but once she accepted him would stand in front of him and an incoming army. THEY ARE JUST SUCH A GOOD FAMILY.

There is the Emperor, who is both amazing and fucking terrifying. Here you have an emperor who is in complete control of his empire, and one is forever questioning his motives. The Grand Princess who is playing games, the Crown Prince who always seem a tad behind, and the Second Prince who eats, reads books, and likes to clear out sections of town to eat and wait in peace. They are all amazing and fucking terrifying in their own way.

There is a whole host characters; men, women, old and young, and they are so interesting and even the bad guys you feel sorry for because in many cases they are making decisions based on their environment. And I haven’t even touched on Fan Xian’s helpers, his fiancé (SO ADORABLE).

And yeah, Xiao Zhan is in it, but it is minor role, and I’m not going to say anymore in fear of spoilers.

Other things of awesome:

The action sequences are decent, better than a lot of other tripe that was released this year.

Makeup is not over the top, most of the women are white as snow, but at least still looks human. Yes, Chinese people do have tan.

I like the costumes, they are actually functional. I know a lot has been made about the ugle hair and headpieces in this show, but honestly not any worse than a lot of the other historical stuff.

It is HILARIOUS. I cannot say how funny some of this shit is. I laughed so hard.

Fan Xian’s mother. You don’t see her, but almost person of a certain age and in power has opinions of memories of her and because of her they want to protect Fan Xian.

The POLITICS!!! AHHHH! I LOVE IT! And it really highlights the many various powers in play in an Imperial court. There isn’t just two sides, there is about a hundred sides with different and shifting alliances.

The WOMEN and relationships. Look, I hate about 99% of het romances in c-drama because people become fucking idiots when they fall in love. It is trying and so annoying. Nobody here is dumb about love, yes, Fan Xian loves Wan’er (his fiancé) but he won’t sacrifice ignore wrongs done or doing the right thing just because he is in love. Every woman in this show is different and unique and I fucking love it.

How every person have their own story, just because you are the designated bad guy doesn’t mean there is no good in you. There are several characters in this show that has done horrible horrible things and yet I still felt something when they died. It is good storytelling.

LOOK, PEOPLE. I hardly rec things, I scream about stuff I like, but I rarely make an actual rec post on the things I watch or read because a lot of time they are things I personally find fun but I wouldn’t waste the time writing a rec post. But GODS, WATCH THIS SHOW. It is honestly my top 2019 show, and I for one cannot wait for season 2.

The English subs are on youtube.

Join me so we can scream together.

[musicrunsthroughmysoul]

Hi dear followers and mutuals, today (hopefully still where you are - whoops) is #settlersaturday and I felt inspired to officially make a post linking to some of my very favorite Indigenous artists, designers, and jewelry makers, plus add a little personal commentary so y’all might be more inclined to check them and their stuff out if it appeals to you. :)

Note: I am even sharing this list under extremely good faith. Time and time again I hear/read - from far too many Native people - that racist people have commented on their posts or DMed them completely insulting, ignorant bullshit that ranges from bigotry to actual intended harm (and I am DISGUSTED AND HORRIFIED by ANYONE who dares to do such a thing. How SHAMEFUL. Although, to be fair, all acts of bigotry are shameful, and that cannot be overstated. DO NOT BE ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE.) If you are interested in these artists’ art, let alone if you are reading this, I HAVE to say: under no circumstances are you suggested to harass anybody here, for whatever reason, be it due to: racism, sexism, misogyny, homophobia, transphobia, ableism, or fatphobia. (And if you’re a vegan who takes offense to Indigenous people using animal hide for their jewelry, you coming onto their posts or into their DMs to “shame” them for it counts as fucking racism, so DO NOT FUCKING DO THAT EITHER. If you must be a vegan or vegetarian, DON’T BE AN UGLY RACIST.) If I find out you contacted any of these artists with malicious intentions, I will make sure to personally compensate these artists for any grief they may receive. Like imagine that situation where some asshole was yelling at a teenage cashier for not making their food right, and every time the cashier was insulted, the person in line behind them put money in the cashier’s tip jar. I would be the person in line behind you tipping them for your fucking nonsense. Do not test me. Just do not be an ugly bigot, thank you.

That out of the way, to the kind and lovely people who follow me - I hope you enjoy these artists’ art as much as I do. 😊💖

@/husquamun on IG and Twitter aka Alex Britt (Nansemond, mixed), website; jewelry maker and beader. They just restocked today with GORGEOUS!!! pride themed jewelry. :’)

@/plain_to_sea on IG aka Paige Pettibon (Salish Flathead Nation, Black, and white), art website; jewelry maker and artist. I intend to buy some of her abalone-incorporated jewelry one day - you do not even know how much I covet it. Plus her jewelry goes VERY fast, so beware that if you want to buy her jewelry you totally have to follow her and be super quick.

@/coppercanoewoman on IG aka Vina Brown (Haíɫzaqv and Nuu-Chah-Nulth), website; jewelry maker. The creator of my favorite earrings of all-time that I own. :’)

@/rosericodesigns on IG and Twitter aka La Tisha Rico (Diné), website; jewelry maker and artist/designer. They have an option set up where one can sponsor a pair of earrings for BIPOC which I really appreciate and intend to do one day (at least one day - I’d love to do it more than once)!

@/stonesongjewelry on IG aka Azie Dee (Afro-Indigenous - Pamunkey); jewelry maker and beader. I will probably never be fast enough to buy a pair of earrings made by her, but god damn if I don’t wish I could be one day. The color schemes of her jewelry plus the gemstones she uses to offset them is just fucking *chef’s kiss*

@/busybeaverbeadwork on IG  aka Gunanáalk’i Tláa/Erika (Lingít); jewelry maker and beader. Her earrings are sometimes made with salmon skin which I didn’t realize until just now, holy shit (so cool)! Vegans who wish to say something negative about that, DNI.

@/hlambert530 on IG aka Harmony (Chumash); jewelry maker and beader. She has a sale coming up on May 30th!

@/swt.grss on IG aka Danica Freeborn (Mi’kmaq), website; jewelry maker and beader. Her most recognizable theme seems to be eels (that are really cute)!

@/sageandsapphirebeading on IG aka Jasmyn Lili (Coast Salish/Tulalip, Vietnamese and Chinese), website; jewelry maker and beader. Lots of beaded rainbows (like, earrings that are literally beaded rainbows) with poms and other cute accessories, and most of their jewelry uses pastel color schemes!

@/chiffons_designs85 on IG aka Zhaawanigiizhigookwe/Chiffon (Afro-Indigenous - Ojibwe), website; jewelry maker and beader. I’m obsessed with her abalone-incorporated jewelry (SURPRISE!) and intend to buy some when I can; her Etsy is still very well stocked and tbh her prices are way more than reasonable. Like for how beautiful they are I wish I could pay more for the ones I especially like, so treat yourself and/or your loved ones to some gorgeous jewelry when you can!

@/jiaxin.beads aka Jiaxin (mixed Indigenous and white); jewelry maker and beader. I am lucky enough to own a pair of earrings she made so think of that endorsement as you will. :)

@/lauren.nicole.creations on IG aka Lauren Nicole (Tongva and Chumash), websites; artist, jewelry maker and beader. Her art is GORGEOUS (I’m gonna need a calla lily print ASAP!!) and her jewelry, especially when made with beautiful gradients, is so so lovely. A lot of her jewelry is made with resin, too, with beautiful little elements of nature embedded within (like she uses flower petals and seeds from her garden in them! BEYOND LOVELY AND WHAT WHOLESOME VIBES).

@/beadzbycat aka Cat (mixed Indigenous); jewelry maker and beader. They make and sell stud earrings and bracelets (in addition to beaded earrings and such), unlike most of the jewelry makers/beaders who I follow and am listing, LOL, so the distinction here seemed appropriate to add?

@/nimii_tli_eva on IG aka Eva Angus (Nimiipuu, Cayuse, Łingit, Haida, and Pamunkey); jewelry maker and beader. She seems to be a super well-known Indigenous jewelry maker as far as I’ve noticed, because, like, just a little while ago I saw Katherine Paul (aka Black Belt Eagle Scout) show off a pair of her earrings and I was like !!!! holy shit! She (Eva Angus) makes a TON of daisy chain beaded earrings with dentalium shells, but I prefer her beaded fringe earrings, personally (and would love to buy a pair some day).

@/beksbeads aka Rebekah (Nêhiyaw and Métis); jewelry maker and beader. She makes a lot of small (in terms of dangly earrings) beaded earrings with floral motifs that are cute, but I prefer her fringe earrings with beautiful gradients (and I long to be quick enough one day to get a pair).

@/oyosowsbeads aka Brianna Cervantes (Chumash); artist, jewelry maker and beader. Most of her earrings are beaded hoops, which are really cool, but they also recently made a beaded ring and bracelet and I am so 👀 if they ever make more and make them available to purchase. (I don’t even wear rings that often and I never wear bracelets but a beaded ring would be SO COOL.)

@/flower_chanel on IG, @/inc_flower on Twitter aka Chanel Flower (Red Lake Ojibwe), website; jewelry maker. Unlike most of the rest of the Indigenous jewelry makers I follow, she doesn’t seem to make beaded jewelry, so if beaded jewelry isn’t your thing, her style might be right up your alley!

@/sandrawpb_art on IG, @/plateaupop on Twitter aka Sandra Warriors (Sqilxw), website; artist and jewelry maker. They’re one of my absolute favorite Indigenous artists and I just really appreciate them. (Most of their jewelry is not beaded, either - from what I’ve seen, their jewelry mostly seems to involve metal work and animal bone, which is a cool thing in itself I think!)

@/johnniejae on IG and Twitter aka Johnnie Jae (Otoe-Missouria and Choctaw), shop website; designer. As far as I can tell, Johnnie Jae is an incredibly well-known Native person in tech, but she also sells t-shirts (one of which I own) and other cool things with usually nerd-related designs as well as Native pride (not necessarily as in queer pride, LOL) themed stuff!

@/pinasoulspc on IG and Twitter (Black and Indigenous-led collective), websites; artisans. Most of the jewelry and other art is made by Oaxacan artisans on behalf of Black and Indigenous-led mutual aid projects and conservation/sustainability projects, many of which are in Mexico. I am lucky enough to own a pair of glass blown earrings by them! 💚

[claudiafekete]

This is another ordinary story of “how xxx fandoms changed my life” -

- or maybe not. you decide. I want to write it down.  trigger warning for politics, discussion of sexual violence, mild gender dysphoria It’s also horribly long. Don’t say I didn’t warn you. 

When I first came to tumblr, I had just graduated from APH. Short for Axis Power Hetalia. I learned about it in the form of manga. For years it was my everything - I learned what fanfic or fanart meant and I learned the basic online etiquette. As I grew in years, it accompanied me.

Until it didn’t.

Shortly after I fell into solangelo.

It’s a fun story, how I picked up PJO years after years of absence. My brother was whining about something written in Magnus Chase. “What do you think the Norse Gods were going to do to Percy that Annabeth was crying?” He demanded. I expressed my confusion. He kept on with his different theories and I made the decision to look it up online later.

My online search of Percy Jackson’s fate soon revealed something unknown to me before: solangelo. The first canon gay ship I ever knew. Therefore, at the ripe old age of 19, I threw myself into this endless hole called “tumblr” for the first time.

It was the most LGBTQ+ friendly place I had ever been. I joke you not. It was also the place where I was taught not only how a healthy relationship should look like, but also how sex should or could be like.  You don’t learn anything healthy about sex in Chinese or Mandarin using fandom, at least during the years I was in them. There were rigid 攻/受(roughly translated as top/bottom) stereotypes that everyone rushed to squeezed their characters into them. A lot of time though both person might ship A with B, they wouldn’t interact because one thought A should top and another thought B should top. Their different topping designation resulted in depictions of the characters’ personalities so dramatically differed that you couldn’t recognize them as the same characters.  Other than the refreshing relationship dynamics, Magnus Chase and the Gods of Asgard offered me a chance to take a look at my gender identity. I had known that theoretically non-binary people existed outside of binary gender, but I hadn’t known how one might live as one or describe themselves as one. I’m not trying to claim that Alex Fierro’s story is the only story of non-binary people. I’m trying to say that it was the starting point for me to make exploration and find the label  “agender” for myself.

I stayed in APH for 6 years. I had expected to stay in solangelo for longer.

Entered June 2019 with its whispers and anxious demonstrations. Entered folks pouring into streets in Hong Kong. Entered tear gas and facemasks and sticks and a bullet scarcely missing the heart and journalists beaten by police. Entered young students not of age disappearing mysteriously. Entered people dressed in white attacking citizens and not arrested by police. Entered dead bodies that were probably “被自殺 (being suicided)”.

Entered a city falling into the hands of tyrants next to your door, and you didn’t know how to help. You didn’t know what to do with yourself with your clean and spare hands. You were so far away from the frontline, you were angry and helpless and hopeless for that.

It was the first time I witnessed, first-hand, how the Chinese government directed the discussion online, so that it seemed as if there were random mobs who were disturbing the peace of Hong Kong and possibly taking money or being trained by US.  “Bullshit. Would there still be so many kids hurt on street if we have received any kinds of training for this?“  Of course, the majority of Chinese people inland wouldn’t hear that. Hong Kong is a former colony. Any calls of outrage toward the present government must be made by disillusioned young people who were unaware of colonization and imperialism. 

That was why I took refugee in Good Omens. I needed to run some where to stop myself from scratching myself to blood. I needed to some works for these clean and spare hands to do so that they wouldn’t pick up something destructive, such as a knife.

If the PJOverse fandom had felt the best place on earth, well, the Good Omens fandom lifted me into paradise. 

I’ve never seen so much kindness being showed under one tag. The creators and actors were all kind and interacted with the fans in their own ways. We were encouraged to do everything, anything, to build art with it however we liked. We as fans were recognized. We were seen. We were ... cared for. It was overwhelming, in a good way.  For that, I would be forever thankful to Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett and Michael Sheen and so many others in the production. I would be forever thankful to artists who liberated body types and freed the ties between gender expression and genitals. I would be forever thankful for the fantastic creators out there.

Would it seem as if I’ve only cherished the mutuals I met in Good Omens fandom? It wasn’t my intention. There are friends I keep in touch long after I fell out of love with APH. There are mutuals I got to know through solangelo and I feel, I hope that we are friends. Everyone who has chat with me I do my best to remember. (Though I do left conversation in weird places, become so ashamed of my incompetency that I do not continue them.)

What I’m trying to say is, as good as the solangelo fandom was, I still ran into biphobic posts here and there. It was only once or twice – but it was a constant reminder that being bisexual didn’t seem “valid” to some of the other LGBTQ+ members out there. Who cares what cis-gendered, heteronormative people said? Bullets that shot from friendly fire hurt the worst.

Besides, with a large and vibrant fandom like Good Omens, it’s easier to feel less alone and more… seen.

Damn right. Even after writing more that 5000 words in English it is still so easy to fall back into the comfortable nest of mother tongue. I can read simplified Chinese characters as well as the traditional Chinese characters I grow up using. There probably will never be getting the accent right but soundlessly devouring words in front of a screen? I excel at that.

That was what’s happening when the days rolled into January, 2020. I flew to US as an exchange student and exchanged long letters with a young Chinese woman I met in Good Omens fandom. I’ve never felt so alone in life. English as in creative writing has never come more naturally for me. The words burst in my head and arranged themselves freely on screen or on papers. I’ve never felt more hopeful about my writing ability.

The days rolled into March, 2020.

The first time my mom told me to come home over home, I laughed. The second time, I frowned. Before she pleaded me for the third time, I had grabbed a ticket.

I hadn’t imagined the disease plaguing China and its neighboring countries would affect the whole world.

You lived the rest of the story. I fled back to Taiwan.

 That was where Doctor Who came in. Or David Tennant. Such a strange time. For fourteen days I was the only living human in the house. I watched Casanova – or was it later? Hamlet definitely came before that. Then I could live with my family again. I handed in my homework and wrote in a different language than the people around me were speaking. My parents were working. My little brother was in school. When there was no one to talk to me I either read or watch Doctor Who to pass the time. I fell for Thirteen. I fell for twissy. Falling fast and hard and completely won over by their glamour.

I started internship. There were some small breaks where I could catch an episode or half, but never as much time as before. I dipped into fandom wiki and found that no matter how much research I did, there would always be details I overlooked simply because I could not afford hours watching all the episodes. No matter how hard I squeezed my schedule for time, no matter how much I devoted myself to the series, it would never be enough.

So I gave up, and let it go. For the first time in quite a while, I willingly gave up something for the simple reason of “I want to live a more comfortable life”.

 Came summer. Damp air combined with biting heat and piles after piles of biochemical terms made life agonizing. An ordinary kind of pre-pandemic “agonizing” which felt like a luxury in a world that was ending.

Hong Kong fell.

It was bound to happen. Once I heard protestors fought their way into the legislature I knew, for almost an year I knew, nothing good would come out of this. CCP would never allow its subjects acting out of hand. With such open despise to the authority, CCP would take nothing but a full conquest at the end of it.

See where we are now. As long as you’re “interfering” the political climate “inside” China, it doesn't matter which nationality you hold or where you were or how long it has been since you made the statement. “According to the law”, China can come for you. No, better, it can tell your country to hand you over. What a clever empire. What a graceful empire.

What a horrifying empire.

With the news I spiraled down fast. I kept away from the young Chinese woman I was exchanging letters with, I kept away from any kinds of Chinese social media, and the worst of all, I kept away from Good Omens, for it was sweet and kind and hopeful, for it reminded me of a time where fighting seemed to make a difference. I was empty and exhausted and a husk. Something must come out to fill the void. Someone needed to paint me in colors so that the world wouldn’t notice I was fading away.

I was surprised at who took the brush.

 After ten years, the first man I ever have a crush on strolled back into my life.

He was over thirty, but I always pictured him in his early twenties. Dark hair, eyes of grey or silvery blue. Loud laughter that sounded like a bark. Swift and elegant. Intelligent. Prideful. Stubborn. I embraced him as I’ve done ten years ago as a little child.

When I looked past him, I saw someone else.

Worn, weathered, with wry humor. Attentive and considerate. Tortured by the world yet never stop giving out kindness. Countless scars. Grey hair unfitting to his age. I didn’t pay him much attention ten years ago. This time, I looked.

Let me introduce you Sirius Black and Remus Lupin, my very first crush and the man who is too much like my last crush.

 2020, a month before Fall semester started, I trekked cautiously, timidly back into Harry Potter fandom.

The fandom of August 2020 was very different from fandom of 2010. The lack of author, for one – it became mandatory to denounce the author’s transphobic statement and other bigotry setting. I’m glad that everyone is doing their best to make it a friendly place for minority groups. Though I’m afraid, by making it a white or black situation with short statements and no discussion, it wouldn’t really help people understand why she is wrong in this. However irrefutable the author’s guilt seems to us, it is not something obvious to those who are unfamiliar with the subjects.

But it does feel good to see blogs and fics with the introduction such as “If you support the author’s transphobic bullshit this place does not welcome you”. It feels reliving.

The second was, I found the type of work I’m actively pursuing changed.

Back when I was young – when I was so little I didn’t even know what the word “fandom” meant – I read Character x OFC and some M x M. During the APH period I read an alarming amount of M x M and countless historical AU. When digging through solangelo, beside the canon divergence stories, simple AU like coffee shop grabbed my attention. Coming out stories were my comforts. The best of Good Omens fics were either in canon verse discussing desires, bravery, humanity and mortality, or setting in an AU with the promise of sweet, fluffy endings. Doctor Who almost always focused on Time and Space. Love was twisted and so often tainted by anger. Monster and god were very alike.

I came a full circle back to the Marauder era, and found myself not looking for heroes, but for young fighters struggling desperately in a seemingly hopeless war. I looked for people who were frightened but never, never ever going down without a fight.

I used to find characters and events unfolding in foreign places, now I want  characters who are close to what I am or what I want to be.

---

So, that’s it, my grand journey through multiple fandoms and basically a journey of self-discovery. It’s messy, sometimes painful, but always with so much joy blooming along the way.

Something doesn’t change. I’m still obsessed with words. I’m still a sucker for happy ending. I’m still wishing someone will come and love me the way I need to be loved.

Something does. I stop imagining that some magical power will come into my life and solve everything. I stop looking for others to save me from myself. I start believing that though wounds hurt, some of them do teach us to be a better person.

Long ago, I saw my friends and I as rabbits, without proper weapons to defend ourselves. That wouldn’t do. I thought. For my friends I’ll grow into a snake with fangs to protect them. Maybe I have grown into a snake. Maybe I haven’t. But I do hope I won’t stop fighting for those I love, with those I love.

I hope I won’t give up.

[bushybeardedbear]

So I've been considering writing and posting this little issue I've had with something. Sorry to anyone following me who doesn't care about MLB. And sorry to anyone who doesn't want discourse on their dash. I will tag accordingly...

So, all that said...

The Native American Miracle Box

Is it just me or is it a little problematic?

So, on the surface it's great to see it. It's using Native American symbolism and mythology. It's establishing that other cultures communed with and harnessed the Kwami. (Though, one could argue the Miraculous in general actually enslave these god-like beings but that's a whole other can of worms I don't want to open...) Jess being a Native American hero, wielding the Miraculous of Freedom. Its all superficially really encouraging, inclusive and nice.

But, this is a big but.

There's a huge period of Native American history where one would assume access to Super Heroes might have been a little useful.

I'm not going to pretend to be an expert on the historical events, because I'm not. I'm not going to pretend I speak on behalf of or in replacement of anyone anyone else, because I don't. If anything, my ancestors may well have been complicit in the acts I'm referring to. So if I'm wrong, call me out on it. If I'm misrepresenting anything, do the same. I'd much prefer other more relevant voices than my own be talking about this and to be listened to. I'm only saying this because to my knowledge, nobody else seems to be talking about this.

This isn't an easy topic, but America is founded upon genocidal colonialism. There's no two ways about it. Indigenous populations were murdered on a vast scale. The effects and marginalisation that resulted are still a part of people's everyday struggle. I'm fully aware that something like a cartoon talking about genocide and the lasting effects it has might be a little outside its remit, but there seems to be something inadequate about the way Miraculous Ladybug simply removes the Native American Miraculous from the equation and in a completely dismissive way.

So, based on what little information is out there, we are to believe that at some point in human history, some Native American people became aware of, communed with and created tools to harness the Kwami. In the centuries that followed, nothing was done with them. And then in around about the 16th century, these ancient powerful artifacts were just for no given reason or cause scattered around the world somehow. Then, it wasn't until the American war of independence that one of these artifacts were first used. By a white man.

Tell me its not just me that sees this as somewhat problematic?

Imagine if this was for example a hypothetical Jewish Miracle Box. Arranged in a box shaped like the Star of David and with Miraculous forged by Moses to free his enslaved people. And somehow, let's say around the 1920s, the box and its contents just conveniently go missing just before a major historical event involving Jewish people.

Wouldn't that be rightly seen as a bit messed up?

Even writing that hypothetical makes me feel a little uncomfortable.

So, isn't the Native American Miracle Box a very close parallel to the scenario I just laid out? Disappearing just before the colonisation of America happened? Or am I being somehow unfair and over-analytical? Please, if I'm talking nonsense, tell me so.

So, to my mind it feels a little like these new Miraculous have the trappings and essentially superficial decoration of Native American Culture. The most recent hero to weild them, also Native American. On the one hand that should obviously be applauded. But in the context of the Canon ignoring or marginalising the struggles of Native Americans and essentially using the peoples and cultures as decoration, isn't that a kind of clueless cultural appropriation? A kind of Colonialist attitude to the various Native American cultures as a kind of way to score points for appearing superficially inclusive?

Did Thomas Astruc or any of the Miraculous staff ask any indigenous peoples or groups for input before including this, for instance. I don't think for a moment it was actively malicious. Just, honestly a little thoughtless.

Though I suppose it's easy enough to argue that the integration of these super heroic power items into world history is in general not a great idea. Is this actually part of a larger trend of lazy world building written from the point of view of someone far removed from the historical horrors he's pushing his magic toys into?

It's one thing to argue maybe Sun Wukong, Robin Hood, the Pied Piper or other apocryphal and legendary figures held the Miraculous. Legends don't have a real world impact beyond the imaginations they spark, their place in the cultural zeitgeist. But when real world history is an issue, maybe you should have made an active choice to make your entire setting into its own historical reality based in mythology?

A similar issue to the historical problems of the Native American Miracle Box popped up in earlier episodes. Whilst not explicitly stated, it was strongly implied that during WW2, Master Fu guarded the Chinese Miracle Box from The Axis Forces. Preventing them from falling, he says, into the wrong hands.

So, why would Fu at no point consider that choosing heroes at this critical point in world history might not have been wise? Was it somehow morally wrong to intervene in defeating an ideology that threatened millions of people? Could any of the Miraculous in the hands of the Allied Nations have been considered the wrong hands given the enemy they were facing?

The issues are only compounded when you consider the Miraculous have existed in one form or another through all of human history. Yet its only now that they factor. We have to consider that either the Miraculous are always conveniently not available when certain conflicts happen or that they were indeed used but changed nothing meaningful.

If you're going to say these ancient relics have existed and been used for centuries, why not go the extra mile and examine how they've changed history? If you don't want to ever deal with the real world history, then perhaps only have the items show up in the modern day? It's the Half and Half response of "they only matter when it's easy to say they matter" that invites discussion of odd choices in the writing.

Maybe my willing suspension of disbelief for MLB is just shattered after season 3 was so... Unsatisfying?

Whatever the case, I'm just wanting to vent, put my thoughts out there and say that maybe attempting to insert new mythology into the existing world history and YET not having any impact on world history seems like its poorly thought out and best and deeply insensitive at worst.

[intruality-overlord]

Why Are We (Best) Friends?

Warnings: Excessive swearing, alcoholism, mentions of drugs, drug use, suggestive humor, implied sexual content (no smut), some gore descriptions. Generally, Remus stuff.

Taglist: @blogging-time @veraisnotfine @littlestr @jessibbb @ibroken-butterflyi @hi-its-tutty @idkanameatall

(For these first couple chapters I have tagged people I thought might be interested in reading this. Please let me know if you want to be added or removed from the tag list!)

The next chapters I will be posting every week on Thursday/Wednesday because this is a prewritten fic (look at me being responsible—)

Chapter Two: Fuck This

The Present.

“That fucker drives me fucking insane!” Patton’s shouting bounced off the walls. “Virgil keeps getting fucking mad at me and I don’t even know what I’m doing fucking wrong at this point, but he won’t fucking tell me what the fuck it is either!” He ranted. Remus nodded along, sat across from him. His legs were crossed with his pointy elbows resting on top, and his spine bent awkwardly so he could settle his head in his palm. Thoroughly entertained, Remus hummed every now and then in agreement like a sham therapist.

“And Roman! He... he... You know why he’s a bitch,” Patton lamented. A cackle shattered Remus’s short-lived, feigned seriousness.

“The last time we saw you was fucking Christmas,” Patton mocked. “Maybe because you didn’t fucking invite me, idiot. Of course Logan wouldn’t, though, all high and mighty smartass. And my puppet idea was a fucking good idea goddamnit. Bullshit. Bullshit!— ugh,” Patton sighed out his remaining traces of frustration. He crossed his arms over his chest and sunk into the green bean bag. Some of the styrofoam beads spilled out a small tear on the poor, battered, ever shrinking bean bag.

Grinning wildly, Remus said, “While that was a marvellous performance, I must say it could do with a little more variety in your profanity.” Patton gave an amused, breathy snort.

“Why are we friends, Remus? You’re such a bad influence on me,” Patton said teasingly. Remus rolled his eyes as Patton plucked another Pepsi can (which contents had most definitely not been poured down the drain and refilled with a concoction of cocktails) from his mini fridge. Remus let Patton hide his alcohol stockpile in his room since his dear friend was so paranoid of the other sides discovering it. “Encouraging me to curse, letting me have access to vodka…”

“Oh, shut up. You’ve become an alcoholic all on your own,” Remus said dismissively.

“...True,” Patton conceded. “You were always more the type for cookie mix,” Patton added as an afterthought. Remus doubled over into a laughing fit. Cookie mix most certainly had nothing to do with cocaine. He couldn’t help but laugh at the smug knowing look Patton sent him as him floundered.

“You— you can’t— I’ve been clean for a few months now!” Remus said defiantly, sinking further into his beanbag with his arms crossed. (Quickly, Remus double checked, pulling his hair over his eyes only to find clear brown, no white in sight. Phew.) Patton hummed sceptically. “But you did have shrooms recently,” he teased.

Remus huffed. “No I haven’t— …Wait—” Remus paused, “Have I?”

“I don’t know,” Patton smiled, “Have you?” Remus let his eyes wander the room. “I can’t remember…”

Patton rolled his eyes fondly.

“You know as long as you’re not over doing it, and you’re being as safe as possible, it’s fine with me. I don’t have any right to judge,” Patton said reassuringly. Yes, Patton knew it was inherently wrong to not at least try and steer his friend onto a less self-destructive path. Remus, to him, was like a hairless Chinese Crested puppy. Very weirdly adorable in the nasty kind of way. (That sounds bad, but he truly means it in the best way possible. What he lacked in hair as a metaphorical dog, he made up for in personality and a good heart muddle somewhere in there). Which meant he struggled to ever say no to him.

Patton also knew that the last thing he wanted to be was a hypocrite. Maybe once he got himself on the right track, then he’d intervene more.

“Seriously, how did we ever become friends?” Patton said genuinely. “I still thought babies were delivered by stalks when we first became friends.”

“I dunno… we just did,” was all Remus could come up with. He shifted uncomfortably in his seat. When he couldn’t quite get comfy, he resorted to sitting upside down on the couch instead. Much better.

Silence settled over the two for a minute. Patton stared into space, deep in thought. Taking sips of his drink, he felt the alcohol lethargically burning down his throat. Remus resorted to picking at his nails again in the stillness, wondering if it’s possible to have a tattoo underneath your nails.

“I don’t regret it,” Patton said thoughtfully. Remus cocked his head to the side, neck cracking when his body slipped down the sofa a bit. “Becoming friends with you,” Patton clarified. “You’re the best friend I could ask for, really. You don’t baby and shelter me like the others. You let me just… be,” Patton said sincerely. “Which always seems too much to ask of the others,” Patton tacted on bitterly. He took a generous swig as if to emphasize his point. Remus scoffed, the tiny movement making him slide the rest of the way down onto the carpet. “Aww I’m flattered, honey.” His tone was excessively teasing, yet his expression was anything but.

Midst lazily reaching for another can, Remus swatted Patton’s hands away. “I think that’s enough. You’re already starting to monologue. If you keep going you’ll have a hangover so bad, it’ll feel like you actually hanged yourself,” Remus tutted. While Patton was no light weight (his words hadn’t even begun to slur yet), from the way Patton was chugging it down, Remus knew his body just hadn’t caught up yet.

Meekly lolling his head back to face skywards, Patton whined but didn’t protest. Sinking lower into the cushy bean bag, his eyes traced imagery patterns on the ceiling.

God, Remus knew that look.

“I just don’t know anymore, ReRe,” Patton said defeatedly, “Every time I think I’m over it, they keep giving me false hope. Everything I say and feel is ignored, and whenever I’m right, they always think it’s a stupid flook. They never listen. I don’t think they ever will at this rate. I don’t even know if I want to be friends with them anymore or I’m just really fucking lonely and my brain’s just hard wired to associate, I don’t know, being happy? With them?” His eyes were vacant, dull. “Why can’t it be like when we were little?”

While the whole point of their little get together was for Patton to vent with free will to cuss as needed, this more sappy, philosophical stuff… Remus didn’t like. You can’t blame him for not liking to see his best friend this miserable. Still, he knew it was best to let Patton keep going.

“Even if they did actually care about me, I’m sure they’d stop the moment they knew we’re like… a thing. Logan would think I’m crazy— Virgil and Roman too… I know what they’d think of us and it’s so— so—” Patton made a nondescript noise of frustration. “They’d say you corrupted me or some shit. I… I’m not embarrassed of you. I should stop acting like I am. I hate this stupid dumb angel reputation I have anyway. I’m just… I have to admit the only real reason I haven’t really said anything at this point is it’s kinda funny seeing their reactions whenever I accidentally say something that sounds wrong.”

Remus chuckled. “I don’t know how they haven’t caught on yet, honestly. Your half of our brain cell is just as sick as mine. They must be in denial.”

“Yeah…”

…

“I should be going to bed,” Patton tried to stand up. As soon as he stood however, his knees buckled. Remus dashed to his side and caught him. “You goof…” Remus positioned him upright. Steadying hands on his hips, Patton tried to stand up straight. A task easier said that done when you’re a gay panic. Inevitably, Patton limply collapsed on top of Remus.

“I don’t think I can make it to my room…” Patton’s cheeks flushed and the red ran down his neck.

“You wet noodle.”

“You… blue cheese lover.”

(“Is that supposed to be an insult?”)

(“Who the fuck likes blue cheese?”)

Arm slung over his shoulder, Remus hauled Patton into the hallway and onwards. He would have carried Patton if he hadn’t been so surprisingly stubborn. All well, anything to make him happy. They returned to their earlier, lighter bantering. The alcohol started to really catch up with Patton, his quips came slower. No less witty, though (by their standards).

Everything would’ve gone like normal if it wasn’t for a certain nerd who had decided on a coffee before bed. Most counterproductive. As soon as Logan had started out his room, he spotted them. His eyes settled into a potent, yet subtle glare. Like a droplet of poison spilt on an unassuming biscuit.

“What the…”

“Logyyy!” Patton perked up at the sound of his voice, lifting himself from Remus’s side that he’d been slumped on. The sudden movement made him lose balance. Scrambling to catch himself, Remus found himself with two arms wrapped around his shoulders now.

“Is… is he— are you drunk?” Logan sputtered. Disbelief shaped his words like they felt alien on his tongue. “I’m not thaaaat drunk!” Patton retaliated. Logan ignored him, cold, tired eyes set on Remus. “What did you do to him?” Logan said as aggressively as a guinea pig could manage. Confusion still mostly coloured his stare. “Me an’ Re er havin’ bestie time, duh!” Patton answered. He sounded giddy, but his voice had a touch of satire only drunken Patton could manage. Even in his drunken state, Patton subconsciously was trying to maintain his image.

Remus frowned. This learnt behaviour was ingrained into Patton.

“He shouldn’t be around someone like you in such a vulnerable state,” Logan said, already trying to pry Patton from his arms. “No—” Remus began, looping his arms securely on Patton's waist, “I’ll take care of him.”

“Noooo,” Patton recoiled, trying to melt into Remus’s side. “It's bestiee tiiiimme wi’ Emu.” Patton's arms slid up Remus’s shoulders around his neck as he squirmed. “You’re drunk, Patton,” Logan dismissed.

Seething, Remus shoved Logan off. “You heard him,” he said, sternly. “Back off before I carve out your tongue, blend it, and force feed it to you,” he threatened. Arms crossed, Logan huffed like an exhausted parent. “You’re all bark, no bite,” he dismissed.

“Oh honey, you ha’ no idea how mu’ he bi’es.”

Schooling his face into glares and scrunched eyebrows, Remus sighed out the giggles brewing in his lungs. Nonetheless, Patton was proud of the brief smug smile he provoked. Pretending he didn’t hear that, Logan insisted, “You’re a bad influence on someone like Patton. People like you shouldn’t be around him, especially when he’s inebriated.”

“Better under the supervision of a friend. He’d drink himself to death otherwise.”

“Yes, but preferably, that should be Virgil or Roman or I, most certainly not you.”

“It’s not my fault he doesn’t feel comfortable enough around anyone else, tin can.”

“Re,” Patton interrupted, whining, “I’m bored le’s gooo.” He tugged on him.

“—He’s drunk he doesn’t know what he’s saying— you know what— Okay, Patton, you choose. Me,” Logan pointed to himself, “or him?” He said overly pronouncing his words.

…

“…‘M drunk not a fuckin’ kid,” was Patton’s response. “We go now,” and he was stumbling down the hallway dragging Remus with him.

Both missed the shell shocked expression on Logan, not daring to believe his ears. Patton cursing? An intoxicated Patton, no less? No. Nope. Absolutely not. He needed coffee desperately.

When they finally got to Patton’s room, Remus carefully directed him, even lowering him onto his bed. Patton had the tendency to unceremoniously flop face first onto his bed like a starfish.

“I swear I’m gonna strangle Logan,” Remus muttered as he made sure Patton was comfortable, tucking in his blankets.

“I don’ think he into bdsm,” Patton said as an offhanded thought.

“You never know. He could be partial to a spider gag…”

“You really just want to try that thing out don’t you? I swear to god— oof.” Remus snatched his pillow from beneath his head to fluff it. Pretending to not pretend he was punching a sheep’s limp corpse, he fluffed it extremely thoroughly.

“You gotsa stop relying on me to keep you in check, ya know,” Patton pouted, arms crossed. “Your— you’re fuckin’ innsaaane!”

“I only ask you sometimes…” Remus said (the worst part about that sentence was that it was utterly true).

Blank stare piercing Remus, Patton paused a moment for his brain to function before deadpanning, “I’d like to talk to you about Jesus Christ—”

Remus shoved Patton’s pillow back, and he promptly forgot everything in favour of burrowing down into his bed. Touch light as moonlight, Remus herded Patton’s wild locks from his forehead. “What am I gonna do with you…”

“You’re na’ gon change my mind… kinky b-hole,” Patton mumbled, caught between the conscious world and sleep. Remus’s eyes smiled. Crouching down, he hovered over Patton. Hovered over his forehead, wondering. Pondering, debating, convincing himself. His breath stirred Patton’s brown locks. They scattered like a spooked flock. Running. Patton shivered.

He shouldn’t. Backing away, Remus was ready to switch the lights off and evacuate, yet was stopped.

“Reeemuuuuuss,” Patton called. Suddenly, he was wide awake again.

Huh?— his breath hitched. His hand caught on the doorway.

“Staaaaayyy! Preddy please?” He made grabby hands.

But— they don’t—

Did he deserve…? Right now? His nails dug into the doorframe.

…

“Okay! I’m coming, I’m coming,” Remus assured, relenting. Lazy giggles from Patton rewarded him. Flicking off the light, Remus strode back over. Laying together in silence, Remus picked the paint and splinters out from underneath his nails and waited. When Patton didn’t budge, Remus took his arms and used them like a seat belt. Simultaneously, Patton glued himself to his back like a limpet. A warm wall of heat.

“Remouse?” He mumbled into his shoulder.

“Hmm?”

“You’re really sweet. like… like tomato sauce.”

…

Welp okay then.

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