#god this interview is genuinely painful to watch

[uhbasicallyjustmilex]

Please please please tell me that you’re as obsessed with the little sound he makes at 10:29 as I am :’) - just the little ‘mhmm’ and the way he sucks his bottom lip I CAN’T.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=f7ZufuOHiz8&pp=ygUVQWxleCB0dXJuZXIgaW50ZXJ2aWV3

just seconds before the poor man got called a tart 💔

no for real though i am obsessed with it the way i am obsessed with all his little non verbal encouragers, and the way he kind of savours the sound of them as he utters them?? (he does the same with certain words too and i am if possible even more obsessed with that 😭) but yeah, i feel like there’s definitely an undertone of irritation or impatience here that gives this little 'mhmm' a slight edge - which, jesus christ. is NOT surprising given the literal everything about this interview. but yeah, i love how much expressiveness he injects into that one little sound. i love HIM 😭😭

[xiao-come-home]

Giggling, kicking my feet, spinning in circles over Boothill...

Just imagine, S/O in a creative field, and they've been preparing for an event where they get to show off their work..

Except, they've been doing it in secret because they don't feel confident and they're unsure if people would stop by for them..

So cue S/O's surprise when they suddenly bump into Boothill at said event—maybe even burst into (happy) tears if he praises their work.. I just know this man's the sweetest for his S/O ;;;-;;;

YUEESS anyway this got kinda long but take it 🫡

You knew the day was coming - the day so, so important in your career that could possibly shift everyone's opinion about you and your hard work. Day after day, more preparations were made, and people who assisted you kept patting your shoulder as you walked by, already congratulating you.

Yet, amongst all of the joy - your hesitation was certainly present. No one close to you knew about the event - not even the closest people, not even Boothill himself, who was your significant other. Even though so many already praised you - just what meaning does it hold if no one actually shows up to the event itself?

The lack of confidence and worrying were the only ones that bothered you to no end - which, Boothill noticed immediately as it was not your usual behavior. Not only were you constantly busy and away from home when he finally got back, but you were constantly stressed out. He tried not to pressure the matter as you were unwilling to talk, but that's Boothill we're talking about - which means - time for Boothill to snoop around and find out himself.

Today is the day. The day you anticipated so much, but also dreaded to finally have it happen. You hop onto the stage, and gasp at the amount of people below. You can't count the amount of eyes that gaze at you, and people seem to be genuinely impressed at your work - applauding loudly, causing you to tear up on stage.

That's a shame you haven't noticed the familiar cyborg who's been watching you the whole time, smiling widely to himself.

Once the official part is over and the festivities begin, people swarm around you to ask you more about your work or actual interviews, but you gently excuse yourself for now under the excuse of being tired. Surprisingly, the crowd goes away, but they'll surely be back...

You breathe in and out, shaking your head from all the attention, but suddenly, you bump hard against something and your hands automatically cover your poor nose; the pain makes you cry under your nose a tiny "oww," just what the hell is that pole here? Was there one before?!

"Ouch! 'm sorry sweetheart! Thought ya would finally notice me, but not that kinda way..." Boothill's voice reaches your ears and you open your eyes in the span of seconds, "I can't believe ya didn't tell me about all of this! A god dang event just for you, and those little motherfudgers that barely let me in, let alone get closer to ya—"

Boothill takes your hands off your face in his, pressing a soft kiss on your nose, "I didn't know my sweet pea was so smart," his voice gets softer and quieter, eyes gazing into yours, "I'm so proud of ya. I really wish you've told me about this, so we could be properly celebratin' this together."

You no longer could fight your tears and let them run down your cheeks, "I'm sorry, I didn't— I didn't think anyone would even show up," you sobbed, "I didn't even know if I could get through this if—" your sentence gets cut off by Boothill's fingers pushing your chin up and staring at you with ungodly amounts of love in his eyes.

"Silly you," he wiped off the tears with his hand, "of course they'd come. They did. So many people are here just for you, admirin' yer work and almost fightin' to say a word to ya. I know ya often doubt yourself, but, as you can see," Boothill looks behind you and see people fawning over your projects, "there's no need for it. You deserve all of this, sweetheart, even if I can't understand a single fudgin' word. You put yer entire heart into this - I see it, love."

Boothill's words only make you cry harder, wrapping your arms around his neck and hugging him tightly - but this time, your tears are those of joy.

After calming down, you sit nearby with Boothill next to you. Sparing him a glance, you confusingly mention the new hat he's wearing, "Ha! Took ya long enough to see! It worked as intended - ya didn't know it was me back there, in the crowd!" He exclaimed proudly, sending you a smug grin.

[goosegoblin]

god i want to watch interview with the vampire but it has the stink of a show that will send me genuinely and completely insane. like 'will dominate my personality for 6-12 months in the painful and unpleasant way'. is it worth it or no

[c0ld0utside]

Hi! May I request a yandere vampire with a teen reader? (Maybe the reader escapes and the yandere ends up turning the reader)

Ily so much! Feel free to ignore if you want :)

This reminded me of Interview With The Vampire (1994). Thank you for that. I am now planning on getting all 13 books of the original series. 

Criticism is welcome!

Warnings (Let me know if I missed any): Suicide mentions, Suicidal thoughts, Possessiveness, Clinginess, Death, Reader gets turned non-consensually.

Holden had been alone for years. His family was long gone, and so was his sire. He was foolish at the start, befriending humans and falling in love with them. It was funny, really. Being immortal made Holden forget about his past life as a mortal for a while. Until his human friends and lovers got older and withered.

Some he had to end himself. They had either asked too many questions, grew suspicious, tried to sell him out, or thought he was some other unholy creature. Sometimes they found out but didn’t care. Those were rare. After years of pain and loss, Holden kept to himself and did the one thing he enjoyed: traveling. 

He didn’t know why, but constantly moving around made him feel safe. As time went by, new things popped up and old things either dropped or changed. Now, vampires were nothing but monsters from fairytales. Some people even liked them! …Some a little too much. The one thing that didn’t change was the rule Holden made for himself. 

Never get close to anyone ever again. 

Not even a pet.

Mortals had no escape. All they will do is wither away and die slowly. Holden didn’t want anything to do with them, either. Not anymore. They were all evolving backwards. 

There were hardly any other vampires around. On the chance that Holden came across one, they were either downright insane, genuine assholes, or wanted nothing to do with him. He’d hear through the wind that some couldn’t take it anymore and let the sun burn them away. Immortality was a curse, and Holden was a fool for thinking that the loss of food, drink, and sunlight was the only downside. Immortals weren’t so different from mortals. They die for eternity. 

He made a mistake. He should have never agreed to be that man’s fledgling. Here he was, walking through the streets that got dirtier and dirtier, standing out like a sore thumb. Holden didn’t even care about his businesses, his stocks, or his riches anymore. Holden would never make someone suffer the same fate as him and every other vampire out there. He would never get close to someone just to watch them die over the years. 

He should just find a nice spot away from any sort of civilization, drop his umbrella, and wait. 

Holden almost set out to do it immediately, had he not tripped over poor little you. 

“Oh- ah, sorry,” Holden said, stumbling over his words. He looked up and glanced around. …Where was he? He sees the sidewalks lined with tents and there’s a horrible smell in the air. Like piss and…oh, yuck. That brown stuff across the street was exactly what he thought it was. 

He still remembers poor little you, looking up at him with big, sad, tired eyes. Crying and begging him for help because Mommy wouldn’t wake up and you were feeling worse. Promising that you wouldn’t touch him because you knew how filthy your hands were. Poor little you… scared that he’d ignore you like everyone else. Clothes ragged and covered in muck. 

Holden tried to ignore you. Tried to focus on getting out of that awful part of town. Tried holding onto his rule. Someone else would take pity on you. …Surprise, no one did. God, humans really were evolving backwards. 

So, he finally gave in to the feeling in his chest and threw his rule out the window. Holden remembers how easy it was to scoop you up into his arms and carry you to his car. He ignored how awful you smelled. How dirty you were. How matted your hair was. He ignored the looks he got from others as he buckled you up in the backseat. Holden’s heart was singing joyfully the entire drive home.

No one is ever truly emotionless or happy with being alone. Part of Holden had realized that the moment he stumbled into you. Once he had fully accepted it, his life had meaning in it again. He didn’t care how long it took. He had cleaned you up himself and let you sleep with him that night in his hotel room. You were so small then…

The next morning, Holden bought an extra plane ticket and went out shopping for some new clothes. All for you. Everything he ever did was for you. Everything he does is for you. His precious child. His sunlight. All those nights helping you with homework, getting you private tutors, encouraging your hobbies, movie nights, game nights, going out into town, spa days, sleepovers, having you hang out in his office after school, taking you on trips with him…the list unsurprisingly goes on. 

Holden didn’t want to turn you at first. He didn’t want you to find out what he was, either. That was until the years started blending together again and you were getting older. His heart ached. He missed when you were so small, clinging to his side and wanting to do everything with him, seeking his approval. He misses you when he has to go away on trips.

 But here you were now, independent and relying on him less and less. Choosing your friends over him. That’s when he remembers it again. That he’s immortal and you aren’t. That you’re dying slowly and that he’ll lose you like everyone else. How could he have forgotten?

No, he thought. Forget the rule, forget his morals. He wouldn’t dare to try and replace you. He won’t lose you, too. Before he turned you, he figured he should deal with your “distractions.” Suddenly your friends abandoned you and your teachers started to fear you. Your tutors stopped coming around and your dear old dad started acting stranger. You’d smell something like iron from his wine glass as he watched you eat dinner. He’d sleep in later and later. He’d make you stay up late with him. Slowly, Holden exposed you to what being a vampire would be like. 

You never saw your father eat. Only drink water and wine. He was quite the night owl as well, always sleeping until noon. He was getting more clingy, too. Wanting to spend every single moment with you, talking about things you did when you were younger. Telling you to forget about your old friends and tutors and school. You wouldn’t need it anymore, he said.

Holden hadn’t expected one of your old tutors to show up one night. He hadn’t expected her to go off on him, saying that he couldn’t just get rid of her. Saying he couldn’t just give her a bunch of money and expect her to forget about you. 

Holden couldn’t blame her. You’re lovely and wonderful to be around! You always get so excited when learning about something you’re interested in, too. He couldn’t blame her at all, but he couldn’t let her get in the way. Holden tried to be quick and quiet about it, but she did scream rather loudly. Her blood didn’t taste that great, either. 

He didn’t know that you saw it all happen, either. He didn’t know that you couldn’t sleep and wanted to confront him about your education and his behavior. That you missed going outside and being with people that weren’t him. 

He didn’t know why you ran away from him. Or how you suddenly disappeared. It took him weeks to find you. Holden couldn’t help but feel a bit proud of you for staying hidden for so long.

“Believe me, darling, this is for your own good,” He says, his grip firm as he tugs you back inside. “Hey, enough with the screaming. No one can hear you, and you’re hurting my ears, sweetheart.” Holden chides lightly, guiding you into his bedroom.

“This reminds me of our first night together, you know.” He says. “I wish you didn’t run away. I was going to tell you everything, you know. Then you could’ve properly said goodbye to the sunlight and we could’ve chosen a nice spot to do this. …Ah, well. You’re my sunshine, and I’m your sun.”

Holden’s caught off guard when you snap at him. When you curse at him and say that you hate him. When you call him a monster and that you wish you never asked him for help. 

You rarely saw Holden get angry, but that pushed him over the edge. He had been so worried about you! He turned the entire mansion upside down looking for you. He thought he had lost you forever! 

“How dare you?” He hissed, pulling you close and glaring down at you. “You ungrateful little brat! I’ve done nothing but sacrifice for you! I stayed up for hours, just to spend time with you and to work to make sure I had the money to support the both of us! I let you have whatever you want. I gave you whatever you wanted! You wanted to go to school, I let you go to school. And how did that go? Everyone left you!” 

“Because you made them,” You butt in. “I overheard your conversation. I saw what you did to Ms. Caddel.” You say, face hot as angry tears flow down your cheeks. “She was probably the only teacher that actually cared about me. That made me like math. That was normal.  How could you even do that to someone!? She had a family-”

“Don’t talk back to me,” Holden growls. “Don’t you get it? You’re my family. You’re mine.” 

“Not by blood,” You point out. “Never by blood. You’ll never be my real father.” 

Holden stops. And then he smiles slightly. And then he laughs, making your blood go cold. 

Shivers run up and down your spine as he says your name gently. Despite the situation, his tone is full of love and care. Full of amusement, like you just said the silliest thing he’s ever heard. “My sunlight,” He continues. “If you saw what I did, you’d know what I am by now.” 

Holden cups your chin and tilts your head up so you’re looking him in the eyes, your neck exposed. “I’m not a fairytale, my dear. And there is one way that we can be related by blood.” He says, stroking your cheek with his thumb. 

“Now, now, don’t struggle. It’ll be okay. It’ll only hurt for a moment.”

“Hey, look, the sun is rising. Focus on that, yeah? It won’t hurt long, but it’ll hurt bad.”

“This will be your last sunrise, my dear sunshine. Make the most of it.”

[joesalw]

You really can't write this shit lmao...

TS's friend group consists of Miss 'idc about genocide and continue to employ a bloodthirsty zionist CEO for my makeup brand' and Cara D who's great grandfather created the Black and Tans which is a terrorist organisation that killed Irish people during the Irish War of Independence. A group that also sent their people to kill Palestinians in favor of establishing the state of Israel. Last night these 3 went to Ramy Youssef's (who Taylor probably met at the "Poor Things" premiere) comedy show in NYC and 100% of the proceeds would go to the Gaza relief fund. The thing is, Selena and Taylor are getting all the credit and praise for Ramy's activism. I've been a fan of her work for the past 10 years and her recent activities have turned me off of her completely. The turning point was that pathetic TIME interview.

I've always thought of her as this well-read individual who can masterfully express herself whether it would be public speaking or writing but I couldn't help but cringe while reading that article. She tries too hard to appeal to gen z and younger millennial crowd when she herself is practically pushing 40 atp. I feel like all of her 'intelligence' came from being around Joe Alwyn who's a notorious bookworm. The fact that she describes her Rep era as 'goth-punk' was the first strike, the 2016 hate train as a ' career death' was the 2nd and the whole patriarchy delusion she went into just hit the final nail in the coffin and I was like 'nope, not doing this shit anymore'.

I know that swifties have been comparing her to Beyonce lately saying things like 'well, Taylor writes her songs' or 'Beyonce can't read' and talking about how she doesn't give interviews so people don't know that she's dumb. And as a comparison I've found her Harper's Bazaar interview that she gave when she turned 40. And good God, I've slept on this woman for way too long. In the interview she talks about building her work ethic from an early age. The dedication of her life's decades (First decade was dedicated to dreaming, the teens were about the grind, the 20s were about building a strong foundation for her career and establishing her legacy, the 30s were about starting her family and prioritizing her own life over her career). She started her own management company at 27, in 2013 she started her charity foundation in which she helps hurricane relief, education, supporting minorities businesses, families with housing needs, water crises, pediatric health care and pandemic relief. She talks about expanding her business ventures beyond music industry, talks about setting boundaries in the world of celebrity culture, about her friends being a group of strong independent women, about the importance of mental health. She also says that she's most inspired by her parents ("My mother has always been my Queen and still is. She has always been so strong and is filled with humanity", "No matter how tired she was, she was always professional, loving, and nurturing."; "My father constantly encouraged me to write my own songs and create my own vision. He is the reason I wrote and produced at such a young age."). That woman is so well-spoken and genuine you can't help but feel warm while reading it and she doesn't feel the need of throwing unnecessary 'smart people' words to seem that way.

Reading Taylor's "Person of the Year" profile and Beyonce's 'Entering 40s' interview were completely different experiences. And as a result, one of them lost a fan and the other gained one. I wish Tree Paine would stop Taylor from giving these interviews because everytime she does, she comes across as tone-deaf, out of touch, mentally stuck overgrown teenager, try-hard bratty diva who can't stand being not the only one praised.

Anyway, I'd recommend to read the full interview and watching her new film. I've watched it yesterday and got the urge of turning my life around. That lady is truly such a light.

Taylor's friend list also includes 'Mr. and Mrs. plantation with slave cabins on the property wedding', 'a sex offender and a SA apologist as the newest addition', 'Ms. "I assaulted my own sister", ' an insecure and whiny music producer who likes to stir drama on Taylor's behalf'. And not to mention that she's dated a nazi this year and her newest flavour of the month is a fatphobic jock with a double digit iq, her father is also an avid republican voter. I think the people she surrounds herself with tell about her more than she does herself.

And concluding with two cents about Joe Alwyn. I'm glad she's out of his life. While I was a swiftie I've watched his interviews and he always came across as a very gentle, calm, well-spoken and a bit introverted man. And she's... well, her. I also think that she'd held him back in her job in regards of producers and directors not wanting their work to be overshadowed by 'Taylor's BF is in this' articles. I'm hoping he does more projects in the future or maybe dips his toes in writing and directing something because clearly he's a talented writer.

Sorry for the long rant, had to get it out of my system <3

I love reading your rants, keep it coming. they are so on point.

[safely-in-vhagars-belly]

Vhagar's diary (The Point of view of a dragon) ((Slight spoof)

This fanfic has been dedicated to my friends, who told me to start writing and to kinda dont give a f what people think about it, tbf people will always moan.

The majestic dragon Vhagar shares her story, in a exclusive interview/tell all biography. What does she remember and what can she tell us about the past? What do we know? Vhagar tells all is part of a mini series featuring three parts of Vhagars life leading up to house of the dragon, with her ...unique thoughts and perspective!

I have always been a simple, elegant and well-educated dragon. I was born at Dragon Stone, which would become the ancestral seat of the Targaryens. The Targaryen family has plagued me for as long as I’ve been alive. From the very moment I hatched, I was wary and paranoid of those white-haired people. It was very clear to me, as with any other sane soul, that there was something incredibly wrong with them. So, naturally: I felt right at home in their presence!

I could hear the swords clash whenever Aegon, Visenya and Rhaenys were around. I could smell the sweet smell of blood whenever they were near and feel the fire burn in their veins, yes all that is true. But I must admit that I never felt more comfortable as I did at Dragonstone. It is perhaps a bit childish, but I hatched there. It shall always be my home.

What did I think of the three conquerors personally? Aegon smelled funny. He smelled like cattle and he had a big dragon called Balerion. Aegon was a true Targaryen in name, and birthright, and shared this wonderful bloodthirsty mind that befitted a Targaryen. He also gave me treats whenever Visenya would look away. Aegon married both Rhaenys and Visenya, for some reason I as a dragon quite don’t understand. But he preferred Rhaenys over Visenya, unfortunately. 

It was difficult for me when he died, I’ll admit it. I wish I had killed him for the pain he inflicted on Visenya. That will forever be my greatest regret, dear reader. I lit his funeral pyre, but I must admit it is no fun lighting a corpse that has been killed by a better, clever and stronger someone before you.

Rhaenys was a sweet boring woman and therefore never interested me, personally. But as Visenya’s first soldier, loyal servant and beloved pet I had to see and watch how Aegon treated Rhaenys and Visenya and let me tell you it was so difficult to not breathe fire at each of them whenever i saw them together.

Visenya. Visenya was the cleverest sweetest most generous and greatest woman that ever lived and shall ever live, mark my words and count my scales! From the moment we bonded, I knew, that woman was a special soul, like me. I could tell, because these are my words, so you have to either buy them, or leave it. 

I remember after she and I bonded; she did a victory ride, with me, soaring through the skies. I never had been bonded before, and no rider’s bond would be as strong as the one I shared with her. I always suspected that Visenya and I were part of the same soul, brought together by fate. We were meant to die together, too. 

Aegon, the pervert, was watching us, and now that she did have a dragon, he was interested in marrying his other sister as well. Visenya was happy. I think I know why. She was finally noticed. She was finally good enough.

From the moment I hatched, I always have been in Balerion’s shadow. Quite literally. Have you seen the size of that beast? But sadly, it is true, I swear on my beautiful horns. The Black dread, they called him. He inspired genuine fear, true terror in ways I could only dream of. You must know, that I was quite the pathetic baby lizard at that time, but I grew and I grew harder out of pure spite, jealousy, and determination. 

It was a sight to behold, the conquest. So many burning things, so many fleeing things! Visenya and I flew to Stokeworth. I never understood humans very well, but according to Visenya StokeWorth was not first in line when the gods handed out brains. They shot bolts at us until I turned the castle roofs to crisp and ash. 

At some point, they crowned Aegon too, I can’t recall when it happened, as I don’t really care about Aegon, much as you can probably tell.  I do recall Visenya feeding me a nice big cowhead as a thank you for my loyal servitude. I never had any friends, but she comes close to what I would consider a friend if you must know.

Castles fell at our feet, men begged us for mercy, they screamed prayers at their gods as I and the other dragons soared above the skies of Westeros, teaching it the meaning of ‘Fire and Blood’. It felt great to be a part of something bigger than me, something that I would know would last centuries. Something that I would know would last long after I had left behind this, earthy crispy shell of a ball.

It was great. But like all great things, this came too an end. 

The Dornish people killed Rhaenys and the dragon Meraxes in Dorne. Aegon never was the same after their deaths, neither was Visenya. There was this hole left in her soul that no dead body could fill. We went on a beautiful trip to Dorne, avenging the fallen Queen and her dragon. I did not care much for revenge; I was just happy to be invited and to taste Dornish. 

Aegon died in 37 AC, and I was invited to light his funeral pyre. I did so with great pride and effort, happy to see the flames lick away the remains of that man. Visenya had again lost something very dear to her, and she remained close to me. The eldest of the three, yet the last alive.

In 41 AC, I saw my birthplace again. Visenya had taken me back to Dragonstone, when Aenys, one of the sons Aegon had fathered, named another Aegon, the prince of Dragonstone, which made him the heir of the Targaryen kingdom we just conquered. I pray to their ‘gods’ whatever these might be, that this is the final man named Aegon in the Targaryen dynasty, as this dragon already finds this incredibly confusing.  I understand my lady was very upset. We passed the moon, and it turned red, according to witnesses. Well, those had a little bit too drink, I think. I did not see such a thing. 

It fell from the skies and shattered. I did see that. But what they claim? No that’s a lie, my apologies. 

The rest of the tale that follows is the tale of the maesters, of corrupt men writing on powerful women. I would not speak ill of the dead, though I do so with much pleasure, but my Visenya was no evil woman. She was gentle with me, she was good and kind. She had given dozens of reasons to burn her sister and brother alive, jealousy being the main one. I must admit, perhaps time erased all the horrible things Visenya did, and only made her sweet in my memory. I do not see Visenya as some beacon of goodness. I see her as any dragon should see their riders: Once upon a time, I was confronted by a girl who stared into my eyes, tears running down her face, begging for a chance to become a Queen. And I gave it to her.

As a dragon, it is hard for me to remember all this stuff. I did not become attached to much humans in my lifetime. Most I ate. But Visenya was unique for I felt we had a connection. A deep connection that threw us together and bound us. 

It was terrifying watching Visenya visit me, every time a little thinner, and a little thinner. I once shared my cow with her, but she did not like the meat, I think. Visenya was declared dead in the year 44 AC, but she died much earlier, I tell you. I watched her die, multiple times a day, multiple times a year, until I finally felt this, horrible emptiness. I wept and screamed, breathed fire until I had blackened the walls of dragonstone, but none of it mattered. I knew she was gone. Nothing could bring her back. I felt alone, truth be told.

At that moment, all I wanted was to join her. We should have died together, fighting as warriors. They call my lovely lady a Kinslayer, perhaps a Kingslayer and a murderer and an unfaithful witch. Well, let them, I say. My lady remains one of the most iconic queens of the Targaryen dynasty, and I shall forever be proud she was my first rider. 

She was amazing.

Not as amazing as me, but be honest: Who even can be?!

Vhagar's diary ends here. A part two might be in the works, I love vhagar very much and i like imagining her life but clearly she forgets/misremembers things and its so fun to write something else for a change.

[dippable]

hey gang! haven't posted in a while. so let's talk about the boiled one phenomenon/TOE, that webseries with the character that made me unable to sleep correctly for a few days.

okay, so, i do believe that uh. thing with the hands. his name's locust. i'm not very sure how he ties into the story, but i do know a few things. when he gets a victim, he hollows them out- making it look as though nothing happened- and takes their heart (or, in the title, a "love thumper"). i'm not very sure how TOE (the organate enterprises) fits into it, but based on what i'm seeing, it seems to be the company behind the nature broadcast, the ad for the star candies, and whatever showed up after the ad for the star candies. do i know what this means? of course not

okay here's the part that i'm definitely sure of. there's lots of references to the bible, and locusts. i'm not christian, or even that interested in the bible, so if anyone wants to correct me here, do it. however, the locusts in the bible eat everything they come across. also, locust is mentioned in revelations (which i will talk about in a minute)

the boiled one's introduction has heavy, HEAVY references to the bible. mostly, i saw the sky opening up and the trumpets in the ears of the victims as VERY biblical sounding. however, when zamperini's (his name is likely a reference to watanabe matsuhiro, who was in the japanese military and a known war criminal) laying in the bed while being interviewed, we see the sign about jesus turn into "i can see you" above him. we can also see the uh. hair? spikes? whatever? of the boiled one in the window. personally, i see it as very similar to how god watches over people- all-seeing, all-knowing, etc etc. plus, most of the events in the fetal fanfare part (sky opening, trumpets) tie directly to revelations. plus, the "tree of heaven" part ties to it as well... but i don't know about a tree of heaven. maybe it may tie to the garden of eden? but i'm unsure. anyways, time to focus on zamperini, the war vet.

job zamperini, while being a reference to the events of prisoners of war in japan, also references job's suffering in the bible. again, not a christian, but job's story involves god taking everything from him. plus, the ephrata branch (according to comments under emortalmarcus's video) is named after a town in pennsylvania. ephrata, while being a town in PA (which may tie to why it wasn't placed in zamperini's original hometown) sounds similar to efrata/efrat, which is an israeli settlement, believed to be the original location of bethlehem- more ties to religion and christ.

overall, i personally believe it's leading to a focus on zamperini and watanabe. zamperini turned to christ to deal with the pain and suffering he endured while a prisoner of war, and watanabe died in 2003. i do believe the boiled one is watanabe's ghost coming back and using biblical imagery, themes, and events to torment him further. however, i'm not very sure how my boy locust ties into this (and i haven't even SPOKEN about that creature that follows you after the lights turn off) or how TOE ties into that and all. overall, i need me some more lore to figure out if doctor nowhere is focusing completely on zamparini's story, or if he's using it as a symbol of war (like one of the comments on the original series said)

overall 10/10 series i saw the boiled one on a thumbnail of a video and genuinely shat myself

[elialys]

I’ve finished season 2 of The Newsreader two hours and a half ago, and I’ve yet to be able to talk about my feels with ANYONE, so I’m doing what I do in most cases when I have too many feels about something—opening a new word document to write things down.

This season genuinely surprised me so many times. I had no actual expectations, but I had thoughts on what might happen from the season promo and the episodes' synopses. Most of the time, turned out I was absolutely wrong, and I’ve never been happier to be wrong.

This is not very coherent, more ‘string of thoughts’ than anything else, and I’m skipping soooo many things but here are my main thoughts/emotions on each episode:

Episode 3 Greed and Fear

I knew it would be about Helen’s past being dug out and was so worried. Didn’t expect to be laughing so much?? Like, only a couple of scenes but god those were genuinely funny. Gerry’s wife telling Helen’s about her torn vagina from giving birth? Lindsay’s song about Charlie being hit hard in the economic crash? Absolute gold.

The "hey let’s get married to give that columnist something else to write about” idea from Dale and Helen’s reaction to it went about as well as I expected it to go.

I have to say, I did not expect the Helen & Charlie’s interactions to get that real that fast but I…kinda liked it? I still think Charlie’s a shit head but I loved that they made him feel like an actual human? Genuinely fond of that scene of him and Helen in his office waiting for midnight, with her on his couch telling him about her past, it just felt genuine.

Don’t get me started on Helen and Dale on HER couch at the end of the episode though. Just, I want to live there, in that scene. With them cuddling on that couch, and nothing bad ever ever happening to their couple, ever.

Episode 4 The Hungry Truth

This episode was a punch in the gut. The way the approached the Bicentennial event and the Aboriginal side of the story was so poignant and heartbreaking. That shot of them watching the cheery News at Six promo at the end instead of the planned interview with Lynus was captivating in a ‘I feel sick in the stomach’ kind of way.

Helen’s convictions and hard work being cast aside and spat on again at the last second was infuriating, she tries SO HARD to stand up for those who don’t have a voice and she hits walls every step of the way.

Dale’s real proposal? I'm still recovering. When I read the initial synopsis, I worried he was going to do something *big*, but he didn’t. It was intimate and romantic and sincere, and holy hell couldn’t have happened at a worse time ??? I know there was no way for him to really ‘hide’ his preparations from Helen at that point but ugh.

That end scene had me in tears tbh, both Sam and Anna just killed me. Because you can tell Helen loves Dale and he loves her yet she turns him down and everything hurts?

Episode 5 A Model Daughter

Let me just say I’ve loved Kay’s character. I love the extra depth it brought to the Walters family, and I love how she allowed for the very real issue of heroin addiction to be explored this season. And obviously, I love how her story intertwined with Helen’s and the way it made this episode unfold, like, DAAAAMN.

But first of all, Helen and Dale. Oh the pain. Oh the sweet sweet pain. I binged so I barely had time to process any of my feelings, but I felt all the feelings. It was dramatic without being overdramatic. Again, all of it felt so human. I wish we’d seen more actual conversation between Helen and Dale with Helen explaining exactly why she doesn’t want marriage and why she broke it off completely, but there’s enough there to get it and just hurt with them.

That scene of them in the make up room, after Dale realizes there’s been some ‘flirting’ going on between her and Charlie? SO many things are said without them needing to actually say them, it just hangs in the air and OH THE DELICIOUS PAIN.

That award party was so good, they were all so drunk and I was so worried about Dale. And then the whole Gerry, Tim, Dale thing was wholesome for about two and half seconds. I wasn’t sure when the ‘gay club’ scene would happen or how Dale would end up there, I didn’t expect things to happen that way, it was like watching a car crash in slow motion. I feel sad for people who ship Dale and Tim because I’m sure this is not how they hoped Tim’s character would come back—and that the random dude Dale wakes up next to is not who they were hoping for. Dale’s whole spiraling out this episode was just painful in a painfully perfect way.

Everything about Kay’s interview, every character involved…ugh so damn good. The interview itself made me cry, but that’s probably because of my own issues haha. Kay going to Helen and begging her to take her part off the story, not knowing Lindsay decided to make the story ALL about her and her parents against Helen’s assurances that they wouldn't do that.

Helen’s demeanor sitting at that desk, finally deciding that enough is enough. HELEN STANDING UP, GETTING THE TAPES AND DESTROYING THE TAPES WHILE WALKING OUT.

Actual Queen. Might be my favorite sequence in the entire season, but don’t take my word for it yet. Of course she goes to Charlie and jumps on him right after that but everyone’s human hahahaaaaa.

Episode 6 Fireworks

I don’t even know what to say, I’m still trying to process this. They gave us time with everyone, and I loved every second of it, but I still begged for more time with Helen and Dale, individually and together. Now I get what Sam meant by ‘Dead Dale’. Oh yes he’s the Big Guy now with the Big House, King of News and all that but he’s clearly dead inside too, so that’s nice I guess.

The way they resolved the issue of “Helen and Charlie” being a thing in under 3 minutes combined was beautiful to be honest. I was losing it watching that short, extremely distressing montage of Charlie and Helen like, might have clawed at my face a bit. But the way she threw him out of her life the second he dared say some shit about Dale? Beautiful.

Lindsay needs to die in a fire though. I’m so glad Dennis punched him in the face but someone needs to push him in front of a bus. That scene between him and Helen in his office was just VILE. What a pathetic excuse for a human being, all these things he did to her and SAID to her, I am not okay. And him sabotaging her at her new job like, DIE ALREADY OMG.

Was it really Gerry who told the columnist about Tim though??? Because that scene between Gerry and Dale, all unspoken? GOD. This damn show.

Gotta end with Helen and Dale. I am so upset. I think/hope they will find their way back together WHEN we get a 3rd season, and I believe them learning to live apart is needed and necessary, BUT GOD I AM GENUINELY HURTING. Helen’s desperate proposal was so upsetting. The fact that Dale was too dead inside to tell her more than “no” and “just do your job” like.

I don’t even blame him because he’s a hot mess trapped in his own catatonia but THE PAIN. That airport scene, someone put me out of my misery please, how dare they use THAT song (Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, anyone??). Also, I realize I’m extremely biased given how much I love Anna Torv but??? She doesn’t say a single word in that scene as she watches Dale on the tv yet you know exactly what she’s thinking and feeling and everything hurts.

Noelene and Rob? So sorry I didn’t mention you at all in this post yet, you were so lovely and precious and so necessary for my emotional sanity, absolutely love how they “mirrored” and contrasted Helen and Dale, even if it adds to my pain as a Helen/Dale shipper who just watched three failed proposals in the span of 8 hours.

This show better be renewed. I need them to fix this mess. Wonderfully crafted mess but still a mess.

[ghooostbaby]

i wonder where the interpretation for the whole “he xuan’s revenge failed” thing came from... (jk i know it’s beefleaf fanon :P)

as far as i could tell, there was no indication that he xuan was determined to immediately kill shi qingxuan as part of his revenge, and that not killing him along with shi wudu is a “failure” of his revenge. are you all such vicious revenge perfectionists you DEMAND beheading or bust?? in fact, he xuan already stripped shi qingxuan of his heavenly powers, exposed his brother’s corruption to him, forced him to live out his days without his brother as a mortal in abject poverty without the possibility of reincarnating (as mxtx said in an interview, once someone ascends to the heavens they are taken out of the cycle of reincarnation so shi qingxuan won’t reincarnate) - seems pretty revengey to me ???

there’s also the part when he xuan’s still in disguise, but after shi qingxuan has found out the truth of how he became a god and lost his powers, he xuan gives him the chance to go stay with the rain master while they are going after shi wudu. maybe he was faking it, maybe he genuinely hoped shi qingxuan would go, but it seems like his main interest was shi wudu.

and if he xuan decided not to rip shi qingxuan’s head off ... he xuan was the one that decided that? he wasn’t outsmarted or strong-armed out of it, he was perfectly capable of doing it and didn’t. yeah, i suppose this is where beefleafers could say he doesn’t behead shi qingxuan because he has conflicting feelings.. and this is why it seems that reading beefleaf into the black water arc requires reading he xuan as disempowered. It only works if he isn’t capable of doing what he wants for some reason, but why in the world would that be? is it more likely that he xuan is actually capable of doing things he wants to and not doing things he doesn’t want to do, or that he is rendered incapable of action by romantic feelings? (but i really don’t think what he did to shi qingxuan could be considered “going light” or not taking action... true romantics over in the beefleaf ship, if it’s not a beheading it must be love! XD) I wonder if it’s because he is so defiantly silent, and maybe some readers can’t see agency in introversion, or if maybe if some people who ship them see themselves in shi qingxuan and he xuan is a convenient absence that can be filled with a tragically passive longing. or some people just like shipping things that are nothing but pain... that’s definitely true ...

but it’s such an unfortunate waste of he xuan’s character to read him this way. try reading the black water arc assuming that everything he xuan does, he intentionally chooses. i find it much more interesting. he is a furious, silent, powerful ghost king with a strong sense of justice who has shown himself capable of doing whatever the fuck he wants. if he is in love with shi qingxuan, wouldn’t he do something about it? or maybe even the black water arc was him doing something about it. if he WAS in love with shi qingxuan before he stages the black water arc and this was a test to see if he xuan could really trust him, shi qingxuan so utterly fails him and fails his own commitment to justice, i can’t imagine he xuan would still feel the same by the time they come to the reveal. (and shi qingxuan CERTAINLY doesn’t feel the same way about he xuan as he did for “ming yi” when they see each other again in the imperial city.)

does it really make more sense that he xuan makes all these convoluted moves to avoid murdering shi qingxuan because he has fallen in love with him while hating himself for falling in love with him, so he spares him while also destroying his last family and condemning him to a slow death as a mortal while tortuously watching him from afar for the rest of shi qingxuan’s days ... or that ... he doesn’t want to murder shi qingxuan, doesn’t, punishes him, kills the villain who destroyed his family’s lives, and then gladly gets the fuck out of the heavens, and never appears to shi qingxuan again except that one time his bb gurl (hua cheng) asked him. this feels like a very “he’s just not that into you” scenario. sometimes if someone murders your brother and leaves you to ruins and other than one time where they acted extremely angry never appears to you again, it’s NOT because they secretly harbour an eternal flame for you. !!

the simplest explanation is likely the right one! and also this is an explanation that assumes he xuan is capable of acting on his own desires. i mean ... did you READ his backstory?! he is THE character of desire and determination!

[desirepathzine]

Is SAVED! by Reverend Kristin Michael Hayter a Christian album?

Yes? Sort of?

Hayter's musical career seems to always fling her at the foot of God. Her previous work as Lingua Ignota protrays God like a horrifying eldritch god of vengeance conjured by some ritual on All Bitches Die, a gleaming and gilded Catholic executioner on CALIGULA, and folkloric legend of the Pennsylvania landscape on SINNER GET READY. In 2022, Hayter announced she was retiring the Lingua Ignota moniker, and the associated back catalog, citing the emotional and physical pain of this powerful music, and the toll it was taking to write it, record it, and tour it.

As a vocalist and a performer, I have cannot fathom how Hayter completed even one of these Lingua Ignota shows. Her voice is a multi-faceted instrument of destruction, soaring high, screaming in pain, perfectly cracking with authentic imperfection, and I cannot imagine preforming the musically complicated and emotionally taxing music of Lingua to enraptured crowds watching your every move. I just missed my chance to see her while she was promoting SINNER GET READY (I mixed up the dates on my calendar and was ready to go the day after she had departed Nashville). While I was blissfully ignorant of missing the show, Hayter was haphazardly getting ordained in a hotel outside of Nashville in preparation for her next project.

In October of 2023, a few months after the very last Lingua Ignota shows in London, Kristin reintroduced herself to the world with that new title obtained in Tennessee, and released SAVED! as Reverend Kristin Michael Hayter.

Some of the tracks might be familiar tunes, for a variety of reasons. There are several old school hymns that I recognized from my Baptist upbringing. But Hayter had started performing some of this material while promoting Sinner Get Ready, and at a self-styled tent revival service at the first inaugural Perpetual Flame Festival, which marked the end of Lingua performances in the States.

Per Hayter, SAVED! was borne of a genuine attempt to find salvation through old time religion. Whether it 'worked' is up for debate, both in the album's narrative and in Hayter's demure and vague interview answers about her salvation. She built a doomsday cult bunker in the basement of her home, as featured on the album's cover and where the majority of the visuals for the record were filmed. She fasted before recording, blasted clips of revival sermons, and engaged in glossolalia, aka speaking in tongues, as part of the record.

It's much more stripped back than any of the expansive and grand Lingua instrumentation, mostly just Hayter and her prepared piano that was also used in previous touring, the inner strings of the instrument laden with chains and various other doodads that clang and whirr when she plays the keys. The lushly layered vocals are used sparingly. Perhaps most interestingly (and that's high praise on an album that regularly utilizes speaking in tongues), Kristin and longtime producer Seth Manchester recorded on tape, and proceeded to intentionally sabotage these physical recordings, stomping and smashing them, creating imperfections to further give these pieces a time, a place, and an irreplaceable atmosphere.

All of this makes SAVED! feel like a tape you found in the woods of a long passed tent revival, full of charismatic performances, blissfully imperfect voices, songs running into one another as the spirit moves, and maybe a snake handler or two. There are showstopping pieces like IDUMEA (the only track to feature synth) and I WILL BE WITH YOU ALWAYS, manic interludes of well-known hymns (PRECIOUS LORD TAKE MY HAND, NOTHING BUT THE BLOOD OF JESUS), interlaced with spine tingling interjections of tape damage and glossolalia.

Hayter's original works pair well with the much older hymns and traditionals. Album opener I'M GETTING OUT WHILE I CAN sets the tone perfectly, a march towards that imagined tent, inspired by the jovial piousness of the Louvin Brothers, as is ALL OF MY FRIENDS ARE GOING TO HELL.

I WILL ALWAYS BE WITH YOU is perhaps the closest a portrayal of the mission statement of the album: a bedridden narrator is beset by demons, that spill blood and inflict sickness, but finds release and freedom in celestial salvation. It's some of my favorite writing from Hayter on the album and maybe the strongest vocal performance as well, a technical feat. It never allows itself to become too beautiful, the song is always on the edge of complete oblivion from the keening feedback that appears throughout. It sounds like your ears ringing after an explosion. journey. MAY THIS COMFORT AND PROTECT YOU is a wailing prayer of protection, but it is external towards the listener as opposed to the internal reflection of its sibling songs. It functions almost as a benediction to the sanest part of the album.

But easily my favorite track on this album is THE POOR WAYFARING STRANGER, a traditional song that Hayter had been performing in her piano sets on tour. It is dark, moody, and she sings the third and fourth verses that are not heard as often but contain some of the most stunning lyricism.

So how does it end, this strange and beautiful tent revival in the woods? The closing track is the hymn HOW CAN I KEEP FROM SINGING? Hayter's piano is unbound, all objects removed from the strings, her voice is in a comfy key that doesn't put her into theatrical strain, surely within the album's narrative all has ended well. But partially through the song's length, Hayter speaking in tongue rises, more manic and guttural than anywhere else on the record, and it is her alone, no archival sound, no crowd noise. Just her. Even after the song sweetly finishes, she is screaming, crying, voice rising and falling. At one point she chokes, coughs, inhales deeply, and falls right back into her trance. The tongues continue for roughly two minutes after any music has stopped.

It's a shocking, beautiful, and captivating finale to an album of interesting choices, one that sticks with the listener. I sat in silence for I don't know how long upon hearing it for the first time. Kristin had performed SINGING on tour as well, a light and airy hymn amidst the fire and brimstone conjured in either of her two sets on any given SINNER GET READY date. Her ability to transform it into a haunting album closer is incredible (the same can be said for NOTHING BUT THE BLOOD OF JESUS, which she sang a capella over the recording of Jimmy Swaggart's infamous apology sermon during those same shows).

It's an insane album, full of fascinating production choices, performed to perfection. But such wild choices on the heels of such acclaimed work can polarize an audience. Lingua Ignota was always an uncategorizable project. Black metal and harsh industrial fans gravitated in particular towards All Bitches Die and CALIGULA, while recently Lingua's name will occasionally be tossed in with Ethel Cain, fans seeing similarities between Cain's screaming pain on Ptolomea and the rural gothicism of SINNER GET READY. Indeed, Anthony Fantano of theneedledrop, perhaps the most famous music critic on YouTube, gave his audience a heads up towards Hayter's music when he awarded SINNER GET READY an extremely rare 10/10, exposing the album to legions of folks who otherwise would have missed it. To many artists, this would be a sign to stay the path, follow a proven formula, keep chasing an angle that is clearly connecting with people. But I have a deep respect for Hayter's commitment to healing, to finding peace, and pursuing something that is still fascinating without being as taxing to her physical and mental health.

SAVED! is so unlike those other records, it's a bold move. But it's on purpose. This music is not directly tied to the worst events of Hayter's life, that she chronicled so unwaveringly in her previous work, admittedly to her personal and physical detriment. And she also comments often on SAVED! being maybe a transitory project, a sound and character that may not stick around for long, but was cathartic for her to release and work on. It was her first album that she recorded with some stability, living peacefully in New England, spending time with her horse.

Not everyone who enjoyed Lingua has jumped over to following the Reverend. A friend of mine who enjoyed SINNER GET READY said that SAVED! just falls close enough to what actually was used in their church's worship services to the point where it was mildly triggering for them, more than the death and destruction of previous Lingua entries. Which brings me to my original question: Is SAVED! a Christian album? It is earnestly sung (by an ordained minister nonetheless, although Hayter is quick to mention that she did it on a laptop and it took like eight minutes). Of course it is far too horrifying to play for the congregation of any given Christian church.

I like that there isn't a clear answer to these questions. Like the album's conclusion, there's no correct way to feel about it, no correct meaning to infer, just what you bring to the table. And even if it isn't a journey you take repeatedly, it is one worth taking at least once. Look into Kristin's Rorschach test and maybe you'll see something you love, or something that horrifies you. There is only one way to find out.

[tweexcore-undrgrnd]

if this ever gets weird: obscure review edition.

(slight spoilers)(probably more than slight)

if you thought there was any chance in hell I would not watch this as soon as I possibly could.. oh to be wrong. autism always wins.

Things i thought were great:

heart-wrenching cathartic piece of art that made me weep , all the clips of Cedric on stage where the lights shine on his hair , lots of silly little moments... all throughout their time they're just... whimsical , the 1 million shots of all the pedals and tech pieces (love) , very funny English accents , waow ftm backstory waow... , kissing the homies anyone??? oh and also long hair pre 2000s Cedric you have my HEARTTT

Things I thought were not great:

I heard some songs from despair come on and immediately all the life drained out of me in horror because I Knew shit was about to go down. been religiously listening to that cd but still It is like a clarion call from hell. (did anyone get that)

yeah I don't actually have any gripes with it I was too in love with the whole thing ..... glad I saw it now. it feels like this is the right time for me to be viewing this. evaluating what I want in my own life too.

I can't stop thinking about the unconventional uses of love and affection from Omar's commentary too, I really feel it when he says he loves Teri and Cedric. it means so much to me to finally see someone like him just admitting so openly that they feel so deeply and genuinely towards the people around them! using words that might confuse others with a too closed-minded view of what love, and soulmates can be. he's totally radical.

(was loving the taped glasses here)

It always takes me out when Cedric's been very honest in recent years and interviews just, plainly saying what he feels. he's got such an air of sincerity and wisdom about him that's amazing to see so much of in this documentary. The difference in how he and Omar talk about painful things is so interesting to me, their way of recounting and the words they both use is nothing short of a wonder to hear. For Cedric in particular, listening to him really tap into that emotional side and physically express it, crying and letting pain shake his voice a little at times, that's amazing. for someone who seemed to disconnect themselves and push people away in that aspect, being so open and honest now is an insane progression.

this scene... hi girl

At the end of the doc, when they're talking about coming back together and their bond and doing volta again, and it's cutting back to clips of them being young together GOD. THAT HIT ME LIKE A FREIGHT TRAIN. being able to stitch that film together and look back on it, seeing some of the worst times as halcyon in your memory and actually making that mental journey something physical, that other people can experience is so magical. this whole thing is like being let into the deepest recesses of their mind, it's terrifying, I love it.

sharp turn now, um..... lots of technology... big fan.. I'm definitely going to be making a few gifs of the equipment.. I'll probably make a post with 1 million screenshots anyway bleh bleh bleh

[themagnadefender]

screaming crying eating glass at the smosh news and ian and anthony interview !!! so happy to see two friends reconnect and let go of so much pain in favor of their relationship and to find love in what theyre doing and creating with one another again! was literally crying through half that video because friendship breakups are so devastating !!!! excited that they got their channel and that mythical was in full support of them like the good dads they are, and probably as a duo themselves KNEW what that meant for ian when he brought that to them 😭😭

on the other hand i am ALSO lowkey worried. i mean i know ian said that smosh pit and games will basically be the same and that he’s excited for the main channel to get an identity, or to kind of reclaim what that identity once meant for smosh, but hmMmM idk the thing that ian said about smosh turning into this entity that focused not only on what was going on in front of the camera but highlighting all the people behind it too and this cool community of a company put together by the people in it and watching it, ESPECIALLY after what happened with defy and having to rebuild all of that with mythical’s help, is why i love what the channels are now too!! i like how the crew is loved and shown as well as the cast and i dont want the bitches who hated on smosh after anthony left to,, idk just be stinkers to this very wonderful group of people who put out GOOD content too!! i will defend them to my fucking grave, tommy and rachel and greg and lisa and kiana and zoe and garrett and erin and I SWEAR TO GOD PETER and rock and marcus and heidi and just!! everyone MAKE those videos what they are, and what they are is such a good, fun, and genuinely funny time !! i just dont want anyone coming back to smosh with the mindset that only the ian and anthony stuff is any good and then using that to go hating on the other stuff, or the people always saying they miss the old smosh somehow feeling ?? idk like vindicated or using this as a tool against these people to make them feel bad. i know i cant stop people from commenting shit or talking shit, but i wish i didnt have to think that those people are probably on their way :(

i’m excited for the change! i’m worried too! but at the end of the day, ian saying that he’s willing to burn down the channel he has been with since the beginning so long as he’s doing it with the person he started it with is enough for me to trust them.

[ikram1909]

Saw some old TikTok’s from/about the Spain national team and god it’s just gutting. Gavi getting them through to the euros, them all adoring him so much, Laporte saying he’d make him dance but now he might not be there (idk if he would want to go just as moral support?), Carvajal calling him a pearl in an interview. Those crusty old men from El Chiringuito praising him and a Spanish commentator saying that “Gavi has to play in the euros, any team in the world needs a Gavi, yes any team”. Like when I saw the last bit again I just wanted to cry. It’s not even the fact that he won’t get to play in the euros which he worked so hard for, but that he was finally getting all this love and adoration from people who discredited and insulted him his entire career and now he has to battle to get back to form. Like I want to be sure that he will be just as good, but even if he is as good or better it will probably take a long time and in the meantime people might go back to criticising. Usually I’m fairly positive about it and would be happy just to see him back with the team eventually but seeing all that just reopened all the worries with such a bad injury.

I genuinely can't stand watching those tiktoks anymore, all I feel is pain 😭😭 he was supposed to play in the Euros man like it should've been meant to be he literally qualified them for it 😕 I don't want to make any assumptions about how he'll be when he comes back I just choose to believe in him and his fighting spirit. I know he'll do everything in his power to come back to us stronger and that's all we need to know for now. We'll worry about the rest after he comes back

[ramblingdisaster73]

hi! i saw a few of ur posts and asks lately and i hope u don't mind me popping in to kind of rant a little. i haardd agree w what you've said re: ep03 and 4x04

403 really did hurt. and i get it. i get that it comes hand in hand with the angst, and i think. i hope (?) that they'll be ok in the end bc at this point, it's getting a little bit frustrating to me. i hated the line of carlos being like 'can't let go of a bad relationship' :/ ik its probably a really poor take coming from the writers but like. with the setup, framing, and tk looking at him after he said that line. what did they want us to think. i think there's a fine line between being petty and hurtful and being a jerk. and imo if i want to put more weight into that line (i probably won't, bc i believe its meant to be more like a throwaway line that we'll collectively ignore and won't resurface again), he's leaning towards the latter. i can't imagine the patience tk has rn

i did not like that, time and time again so far, tk is just being his non-confrontational self. and i get it, with the whole 'you lash out at you loved ones in the moment of extreme anxiety and loss of control, whilst knowing that he will be there for u through it all. through all ur messiness and ur shit, it's like a lifeline that he can hold on to.' hell, i did that too. and i love this sentiment, and i think ep1 - ep3 is them trying to show us this. except before we get their reconciliation in 4x04 (hopefully), these are what we have to work with.

i also read somewhere (i'm so sorry i'd forgotten who said it) that we might get more of carlos + iris reunion rather than a carlos/tk one bc it will carry more weight for carlos' character arc, and at this stage, i hate that i can see that happening, and i don't like it. i'm just asking for any sort of carlos/tk reunion to be cathartic af, after all of what we've they've been through so far. i don't think i'm asking for much atp 🥲🥲

(prev.) if this really happens, i hope it's in the context of like, iris reassuring carlos that she's not his legal responsibility anymore, that she's more than capable of taking care of herself, and that he needs to let go of the unfounded guilt that he's carrying towards this whole mess (ik this is controversial, but i would argue that iris carries equal responsibility as well and i blame carlos as much as i do iris, she could've reached out too, but i won't be getting into that), so that he can truly move on with tk. a clean slate, if u will. i won't be able to accept anything else.

i just. my god. i love tk. i want to give him a little hug. it's genuinely really painful to watch him in these 3 eps. i have no hope that it will ever be addressed. can u tell i just really need more tk/carlos scenes atp bc i do i miss them being a team and i don't like it when there's tension that we can never get closure too. i don't want to expect anything for 404 except that it'll probably be disappointing, just so i won't be let down again.

also as like a little sidenote, i saw the 100 in your bio and omg i was there (!!!!!) doesn't this (e.g. tim's post, ro and rafa's interviews) all feel like jrat + the 100 cast mess all over again. bc i see it. i'm not sure if you're aware of it back then, but it was like a whole mess between the cast and jrat and they had to keep defending his writing and lmaoooooooo history repeating itself over at ls here i see i see

i'm so sorry its so long. it got away from me. thank u for reading through all that tho if u did 😭 have a nice day/night!

This storyline has definitely ruffled feathers, a lot of them for a lot of people. The way they are only revealing bits at a time through this 4 episode arc is slowly driving us all insane – especially those of us that were not blessed with any sort of patience (that’s me, I have none) and want to know everything right now.

Just like 3x13 had some painful to watch scenes, so did 4x03 – but watching Ronen & Rafa this season has been a real gift – we care so much about these characters in large part because we know how much Ronen & Rafa love their characters, how much they respect the relationship that they are portraying, combined with their natural chemistry, makes Carlos & TK such a compelling people – as both individuals & as a couple.

-The first couple of seasons, we got glimpses of Carlos’ flaws, but they weren’t as obvious or as loud as TK’s, so many people just over looked them, some to the point where they don’t believe that he can do any wrong or that pretty people should always be forgiven because they are pretty.

*For this particular storyline – They had to pretty much exaggerate his negative traits: Control freak, self-blame, avoidance to the point of lies by omission, and his compartmentalization in order to have him learn more about himself (I think) If they had just kept him as he was in 3x13 with the petty chicken dinner, then we wouldn’t really be able to see him learn anything – it would just have been a continuation of his avoidance, without long term consequences.

– his traits/flaws had to be so in our faces, so that when he loses all of that – all control, all ability to compartmentalize, can’t lie to even himself anymore – we are feeling it with him, feeling him learn that this isn’t a healthy way for him to live.

*I have no clue what their intention for the bad relationship line was – but I do think it missed whatever the goal was since none of us can decide on the meaning. I am currently going with it is part of how they are exaggerating his traits (his pettiness in this case) to show how much out of the ordinary this whole situation is for him. I do think he is filled with so much guilt over Iris, that it almost froze him where she was concerned, especially since TK came into his life – and he realized that he could have something real. -thinking about it this way does make it more tolerable, at least it does for me.

*There is a fine line between petty and jerk, Carlos has been walking it like a tight rope since the minute that venue called, probably since the morning after he realized that he hadn’t dreamed up TK proposing. I think that the show is finally letting us see his other sides, we are seeing him start to unravel a little – he doesn’t know how to deal with it – THERAPY WOULD BE MY SUGGESTION, SIR! – so much damn therapy.

I am loving TK (& Ronen) this season – that man can say a lot with his eyes – especially when the script doesn’t give him words. I do think that part of his lack of an emotional response, isn’t that he doesn’t have feelings about what is going on (Carlos being married), but he sees how fucked up Carlos is over the whole thing – he knows that if he freaks out too, then everything will get worse – this time, even though shit is hard, the last thing he wants to do is run away or blow things up – and honestly, I love it. And I have written quite a few fics so far that have really helped me deal with the emotions that this storyline brought up.

*I do not think that there will be a whole lot of bottled up TK in 4x04 – I think he will be a fiery tornado with one goal in mind – as Ronen has said, we are going to see a different side to TK this season. I think part of that might be the way he processes his emotions/thoughts (plus he has a whole fandom to be mad on his behalf) – I don’t think TK will ever just roll over and let anyone (Carlos included) walk all over him - he has just learned to pick his battles, support his fiancé over himself when needed.

*I can’t wait for feral TK

I did say something along the lines of Carlos more important reunion would be with Iris over TK – to be honest though, I doubt we see a real reunion between Iris & Carlos at this point – BUT, my reasons for thinking that were what you said – that she might be the one that gets through to him that people are stronger and more capable than he gives them credit for – Both her and TK – as well as Carlos.

*We will get some type of emotional reunion between TK & Carlos on screen – I think that Tim loves to pull things apart – but he does it because he loves putting them back together. Someone pointed out that each episode has shown us another aspect of the Tarlos relationship – The understanding from TK in 4x01, the unit that they are in 4x02, what friction and stress can cause in 4x03. I think 4x04 will be another aspect to see.

-I am leaning that the bulk of the ep will be them separated – Carlos being held captive, torture & TK will be realizing he is missing/searching for him. I am also thinking that the amount of time on screen that they will be together will be similar to Push 3x04 – An emotional reunion (like at the hospital when TK woke up), then a domestic like scene (like the initial Tarloft scene), ending with some type of group scene (like the reopening of the 126) – obviously, I could be wrong – but that is how I am leaning as of now.

TARLOS IS ENDGAME & ALL ROADS LEAD TO THE WEDDING – is my mantra and I repeat it as necessary in times of need.

I also love TK, he is also probably the one I can relate to the most, so that helps (or not, depending on how you look at it). That mean needs all the hugs, he takes everything on himself (kinda like his fiancé), and wants everyone to be happy. I can’t get over how blessed we are with the cast that plays these amazing characters – they don’t feel like one dimensional characters – they feel real – this is why we care so much.

I think the difference between Tim & J Roth is that Tim is supporting his work & his cast/characters while J Roth killed off characters if his cast member needed time off for a medical/mental health issue or has a disagreement. I got lucky with the 100, my ship made it to the end, even if they were the ship with one of the smallest fanbases (sorry, I am a total Mackson fan – they are what brought me to tumblr & Ao3 in the first place), so I didn’t hate J Roth for the shit writing in Season 7 (also, don’t hate season 7 – see my ship for why 7x14 was a total gift for me)

*I really can’t see Tim treating any of this cast like J Roth did Ricky & Bob

*Tim will fuck with us though – and since he gives us such beautiful scenes (even the hard ones), I will forgive him. While he loves to tear our hearts out, he is sure to let us know that he will let these characters put them back in place. He knows that we love them, but he does deserve to be protective of his work (even when we don’t agree with him).

I enjoy reading people’s thoughts, adding my own, and welcome people sending me asks/their thoughts!                                                                   

[rose-teeth]

it drives me so. incredibly insane reading western anthropological studies about "sex work" prostitution in western europe, it truly does, because 99% of them are written from this god forsaken postmodern narrative

nevermind the cruelty and dishonesty in them so often //barely// bringing up the poverty in the balkans, and that its not just our women being trafficked and horribly exploited but our men as well. nevermind the dishonesty in the idea that this mass migration is somehow a "choice" and whatnot. nevermind that noone wants to point out that economically&racially there is something incredibly fucked abt the dynamic of the entire situation, us being hated by the westerners while our cheap or alltogether uplayed labour keeps western europe running, while in many brothels its ~/+80% romanian and bulgarian/other balkan women. nevermind that this whole choice narrative is not only privileged but it just leads to incredibly lacking science

but. i find it. truly vile and disgusting that these "social scientists" genuinely do not give a single shit about our women, not at all, not even with 0.5% heart and soul. truly downright morally bankrupt and just. disgusting.

how the fuck can you even write this shit. and completely ignore and not bring up the undeniable massive sex slave trade of balkan children that's being directly fuled by the legalization of "sex work." how can you not bring up that the sex traffickers who "help women migrate for legitimate sex work" are th exact same ones who traffick minor girls and produce child pornography. how can you not bring up and care at all that so many already-traumatized refuggee women and girls are being dragged into this fucking nightmare all the time

you know HOW many cases there are of romanian, moldovan, balkan women being sex trafficked? sexually enslaved? tortured in every god awful unimaginable way? having bar codes and numbers tattooed and branded on their skin?? how many cases there are of balkan girls under 17 being raped several times, sold several times, tortured, even killed? how in romania you cant watch the news without hearing of more and more of our minor girls and women being rescued from some other horrific sexual slavery situation in the west??? how here police departments and the government are involved in trafficking minor girls? how foreign men move here to become pimps or rape children?? how, once again, there is case after case of our women being fucking sexually enslaved and tortured???? in large part directly because of this fucking ideology??? how, how, how, xyz every other horrific fucking thing???

how? how can they ignore this. how can these god damned good for nothing "social scientists" ignore this (they dont give a shit abt us and theire privileged and brainwashed). but how can they lack the...... the BASIC fucking Empathy??? How can they write this bullshit and not care how many of the women they talked to were molested as children, started working before 18, were raped before or after they were interviewed, were beaten after they talked to them or got hooked on drugs or sex trafficked again or tortured or killed?? there was this one study that 7/10 moldovan sex trafficking victims left because they were being domestically and sexually abused by male family member - does that matter maybe?? how can they not care of their ptsd, of their exhaustion, of their physical pain????

it truly. disgusts me aint even enough of a word, but it does. it makes me sick to my fucking stomach, the absolute lack of basic empathy and care and especially sense of responsibility these female western anthropologists feel for us - especially considering how mant of these women are 17-19, so, young as hell - when all of this is in large part the fault of the ideology they helped create and spread in the first place anyway. their most basic lack of care makes me vomiting levels of upset and angry.... and again, worse of all.... even if we buy their bullshit choice narratives.... could they PLEASE care that outside of theoretics they're writing about one of the worlds biggest and most profitable child sex slave trafficking currents? please?? lord help us

[childrenfromthecrypt]

@goranginumber7

Laurel, of course, had been following the story for months. She'd interviewed both of the astronauts on the flight. Captain Alex Toomey had been... difficult. Ted Lockwood was kind. They got along well; her heart had swelled at something that felt like a genuine connection, probably the first she'd has in some time. Damn, she'd been consumed in her work. She thought they were something, before the almost three months away. ...there had been a lot of time off the record for it to not be something. But maybe it was something casual. God, she never knew. And maybe that's why she was still single at forty. But still, she knew she was in love with him.

As the broadcast aired, declaring the mission has met with aliens, they went to type notes on their phone, excited to see what was a historical event that someone she cared about was a part of. What they saw was something completely different. It was him, screams of pain almost inhuman, and she could feel a tightness in her own chest, watching his concave. "No... No." She whispered to herself, before screaming at the bloody combustion, fear and agony rolling into one. She could hardly hear she screams that the world would soon end, their own moon on a collision course. What choice did she have but to wait helplessly, praying to a possibly nonexistent god that the afterlife would be kinder to her and Ted.