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anabsolutefreak · 5 months

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Chapter 17: Folly of the Gith

This is a canon adjacent full campaign based story involving my original TAV character, the full BG3 crew and, of course, our favorite undead high elf. I created this story to help me get through an exceptionally difficult time in my life and so, you might notice Tav's story is a little more atypical than some. Be advised that the story I have created has some mature themes including violence, kink, mental health and self harm. I will be placing warnings on each individual chapter when any of these themes are included so please be aware. Summary: Meeting a group of gythyanki goes horribly wrong and Astarion and Embrae end up spending a very wholsome night together. MATURE CONTENT: A little violence and some love bites/blood drinking.

When Embrae awoke, she was immediately aware that she was no longer alone. In fact, she realized, she had managed to wrap herself almost completely around the trancing elf beside her. When did he get here? She wondered. She breathed in his scent, the smell of, bergamot and something rich and warm mixed with the smell of dried blood. He had been hurt, she realized with some anxiety. She raised her head cautiously to look him over but found no trace of continued bleeding. He had already healed, more than likely. She lay her head back down gently and listened. She was listening for a heartbeat, she realized, but of course, she heard nothing but the breath entering and leaving his lungs. Even that, he had told her once, was mainly just habitual.

She continued to lay there, listening and thinking until the morning sun began to make its way through the broken windows and the cracks in the walls. She eased up slowly trying not to rouse him. His eyes opened though and locked with hers. Confusion passed through them for a moment followed quickly by recognition and and then amusement. “You hog the bed,” he accused her. His voice was husky and alluring as ever.

“It’s hard to hog your own bed,” she said. “Might I remind you that I was in it first?”

“Hmm,” he said sleepily. “Quite territorial aren’t you? I was simply aiming to share some of your blanket when you attacked me.”

She rolled her eyes. “You looked so very bothered by it.

“I—” he paused, thinking. “I found it oddly relaxing, actually.” He sounded so surprised that Embrae had to suppress a laugh.

“I didn’t mind it so much myself,” she chuckled. She stretched. “God, I don’t know when I last slept through the night.” She had, she realized. When she had lay down, she had been so beyond exhausted after the use of her tadpole that she had nearly fallen to the floor.

“Hmm, perhaps the trick is to exhaust you. As I recall, you slept well after our— other adventure together as well.”

She felt herself flush. Dammit, how did he do that?

He smiled and stroked her cheek. “Gods your beautiful,” he sighed.

Her blush deepened and then she sat up, the memory of the gith and the night before jolting her into complete wakefulness. Astarion pushed himself up as well, resting back on his palms. “What’s the matter?”

“Lae’zel and Karlach— did they make it? Are they alright?” She looked around as if hoping to see the tiefling and the gith curled up on the wooden floor.

“I’m certain they’re fine, my dear. There’s not much I think could best those two… Besides, I’m fairly certain most of the gith were on my tail. We shall see if they made it back to camp without us before we panic, yes?”

“We should head out before they come looking for us then.” She said. “Ugh, what a mess. Fucking Gith Crech.”

“Indeed. Although I admire anyone with such an appetite for murder, I think I’d be content not to meet any more gythyanki for a century or two. He made to stand and swayed a bit as he did, cursing under his breath.

“Are you alright?” He looked paler than usual and his ivory skin almost looked grey.

“Fine— I’m fine. I just need to eat something is all. Damned silver sword must have spilled more blood than I realized.” He peered with disdain down at the dried blood crusted on his white shirt and tutted. “What a waste.”

“Here,” she offered, craning her neck. “You won’t be able to hunt anything down like that.”

His eyes rested on her neck hungrily. “Are you quite sure?”

“Yes, just leave some for me,” she teased. “I’m going to need to walk too, you know.”

“It would be rather exhausting to carry you all the way home,” he conceded. Then he dropped back down to his knees and pulled her gently towards him. Touching his lips gently to the skin of her neck, he inhaled deeply. Then she felt the sharp icy sting, followed by numbness as he fed. She sighed, leaning into him, and then, too soon, he pulled away, licking affectionately at the wound he left behind. Then placing one last kiss on her neck, he stood, pulling her upright with him. “That’ll do I think darling. We have things to do after all, don’t we?”

He picked up his pack and reaching in, drew out half a loaf of bread and an apple and handed them to her.

“Why are you carrying food around?” she asked taking them gratefully. She was starving.

“Oh, I liberate things here and there as we travel,” he said casually. “And it’s only fair that since you’re always so generous about feeding me, that I return the favor in kind.

#astarion fanfic #original female character #baldur's gate 3 #baldurs gate astarion #bg3 tav #slow burn #love bites

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dawn101 · 7 months

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You know what?

For the last 2 days, I have litrally been beaming and almost busting with happiness (something that rarely happens in the first place) because say what you want about neflix's avatar the last airbender but you can't deny explosion it hade made in the fandom and the story itself.

Theres love and hate for the new one, adorance for the original, people coming back to or joining the fandom to watch for the first time and suport the original, more people reading, writing and drawing and memeing and just more hype.

And have you searched for the music on spotify? Or youtube maybe. Theres the Samual Kim epics, some of the original tracks, newer official tracks, the music from the film (shit film, great music), the tracks from the netflix series and oh my god, the concert! The concert which is the first concert I actully really wanted to go to but couldnt. So much flipping music that just has me replaying scenes in my head and filling me up with that wholsomness that only Avatar can provide.

So yeah, im blooming happy at the moment and it would be realy nice if you guys felt it too.

#atla #avatar the last airbender #natla #avatar: the last airbender #atla fandom

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siyuri · 9 months

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Wanted to write some stuff so why not here. It appears it is kinda fun to forget about some social media and then like 10 years later pick it up and read stuff your past self wrote. So for the future me.

Hi! Like...you know how everyone always have this habit at the end of every year to be angry at it, feel this bad summury of the feeling for everything that happened and forget any good things? So...fuck this, I had an amazing year. After covid, after mother's cancer, after her death, after my long four years of existing fuck knows how inside all that I had an amazing year. And just wanted to apreciate it and not look for bad things, but celebrate great ones.

This year started with me living in an amazing faetales world - I kinda have this problem... Myself from April to October is hyperactive person. I need to be outside ALL THE FUCKING TIME. I will camp, I will cycle, I will run, walk, crowl but everything should be outside. And my creative part of the brain is silent for half of the year. And then I have Myself - November until April. My creativity just wants to do EVERYTHING. Draw, lern some musical instruments, readreadread, paint glass, do toys, make ANYTHING. But for the love of gods don't look outside (I hope future me knows how to balance them). So, when I have a more than million words fic to let myself live into, I will do it. And when I can't think about anything but it, it is the best thing that can happen to me in this period. So, after like month of pure drugs, I watched some bad play in my city theater, and it was the last straw needed to me FINALLY go to Saint-Petersburg for an amazing theater they have there. Last time I was there, it was with mom, so it was hard to start. But. Then...oooooh! How many amazing things I saw! One of them - I was on 8hours long play "And Quiet Flows the Don" Sholokhov. And it was so epic - couldn't process it like for a day, just didn't talk and was in this happy drug creativity mode again. Then comes March! I had this dream...kinda long time ago, 8-9 years, when life was... good I guess. I wanted to do Cami de Cavalls track around Menorca...but life. And finally, this year!!! I have a wonderful job, I have stable income, I have powers and I can do it. So, comes April and i am walking 250km around Menorca on foot, and one and only dream I had is fullfiled. So... Then I am back and it is the hardest drop I had in a while, but who cares, we are here talking about good things. Then SUMMER! I am finally on good foot with my sister again, I have a friend, I have my bicycle again, I have the sun and everything is GOOD. And after 1.5 years of struggling our grave is done and it is the coziest fucking place in the world!! And then it is tents on the beach, sunrises, good food and seaseasea. And then it is Austria and Wachau and me, walking again and blue happiness at the horizen, because I never saw such mountains up close, and 250km on foot up down up down, and this drop wasn't even bad!!! So I am back home and it october and Larian is waiting for me, and this is just AMAZING, because I LOVE when good people do good things and get recognised for it. And then Palmarosa, it is like full circle, because outside me already asleep and the other one READY TO MAKE THINGS! And I make them and I even LIKE THEM!!! And aside of all transition problems and shitty things aside... like... who cares about them when yesterday I had the artist who is inspiration for me reblogged my art with inspiration tag? Like... WORLD JUST FEELS WHOLSOME!!! and I don't want to remember any bad shit from this one.

#me #like sorry if it feels like bragging #but i just need to put it into words #so brain could focus #and remember only this #so #back to drawing things :D

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libidomechanica · 11 months

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“And but shepheards God”

Night he devil told you shall early thinly place! I cut up one day beate vpon a dunce. At her graue, the grainy days. Silence, that thou leaves chatter’d Houses—and yet if needes be possess’d in teares doth aske: and weep; is it speak no Latin? And but shepheards God Bacchantes with they brings that often, in which wonted calm pervades his corage accordaunce

hast the sandy down. He robs thee, and sing and clear falls melodious flames of straw in the Line. And though, that Hope adore you up inside. But dark when I am nothing blessed, when my neck, her riches, and wade in the breath, her abdomen at least showed my deare, is our feats of Loue, bending simplicitie: and blossomes rownd. And painted, to subsist;

till to me as laughter eyes make captive on the myrth now and the presence, so farre am I from your name of beechen greene woods which other; and away. The monks look upon us that I by verse. At first blossoms scent beneath her speechless raise out of the miles, and Spirit to Elenor walk’d by Nature is not his eyes; for this fate, dost the

table, tables, foam and Soul that while the time to you: and one Night hauing, nought they letting sways, yet still relented thee: but this is no good, but, pale it lay upon the aisles shuffled so, but envious enmity shall shines, colors, like to the room to araye. Which cruddles in one of ancient trees why you see even to bring an invertest. Her lie

with the small. To pretty sure take me thus, my Katie? Thought. It is your good black and anon doubting to Conclusion: for her, and prepar’d by blackest Winter cave. And death, and mused rhyme, but born just light should I, like the fine beside thy tables, by submitting, endless wings in the rest, teacherly head. How pale cheats us from yours I was for that in

Heart bled from her solitarie Brere like you not exactest traits of painful and told that myrth now and do is eloquence, so arguing a Gangster her eddy bear it? But sad mortals, yet who you see as a city made forth creeping the sea, the fields below the wholsome jellies were closed in my shadows the sea, till not run out I wanna be

your dusk eyes. A World forlornest uses, that had to asswage: and howling, kiss’d my Hand, as he a brave man of nut-brown ale, till the sea- stocks bloom misted their substance of life the scent. Such a burdenous, but comes clear to no such prouder part Doppelganger. With no passing. And the sun his packe, as Sappho’s breast, so long, the graunt the wight, but for queens

to stombling doth steep him compare betters to new world of life, enlisted inside clean: for crooked thee faded at th’ unguarded from Stella euer was seene the longer that doth keepe. As the tower sublime of something into whiffs of cloister’d without afar, when shepheard you. I think they benumb our ” I ask and life of nothing i know.

#poetry #automatically generated text #Patrick Mooney #Markov chains #Markov chain length: 6 #185 texts #ballad

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spiritmaiden23 · 4 years

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Kiss on the cheek for New Years from wholesome boy!!

She’d expected nothing less from him! Their friendship encompassing time itself, it was a relation that she did not expect to come from her mishaps with time but one she’d gladly accept and even embrace with nothing but affection for yet another dear friend.

“Happy New Year, Link!!”

Returning his kiss back with one of her own, she’d pump her fists and look to him with vigor!

“We oughta work hard to make this year a good one! I hope our friendship will last for the next year!!”

#THANKS WHOLSOME FARM BOI #god what a good farm elf we love this wholesome boi #the both of us :'))) two of us #THEIR RELATIONSHIP IS SO SWEET THO I LOVE THEY!!!#answered.#kcmorebi

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meowmeowmessi · 4 years

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#childrens book illustrators are honestly he sweetest creatures on earth imho #(and childrens book authors as well)#I follow a bunch of them on Twitter #(one of them did the sailor moon redraw challenge and I thought their art style was cute so I followed them lol)#and they always post the most cutest and wholsome content???#they post these cute drawings of fairies and friendly bears and kids in colorful raincoats and I just think they're neat ok #my tl is just my moots arguing with hellers punctuated by these wholesome illustrators lmao #this is so ironic considering the fact that I cannot stand children #tldr: fuck destielies and god bless childrens book illustrators #also yes I can see that it says 'he' instead of 'the' in the first tag #*continues to rage at this hellsite for not letting me edit tags*

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basqueabed · 5 years

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hey does anyone wanna know what I've been up to on minecraft because I've been up to some wacky shenanigans

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theenbynightingale · 3 years

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Rating Total Drama ships that showed up when playing with the generator! (Pt. 12)

Brody and Sammy/Samey (or Bromy): That sounds dangerously close to “Brony”. Anyways... Sammy deserves the best and I love Brody so god damn much. So I pass off on this. We don’t get to see much of Sammy outside of her conflict with her sister so I’m not sure how she’d feel about Brody’s naiveté but he’s so endearing that I’m sure she’d love him and never-ending optimism. Rating: 8/10

Brick and Owen (or Browen): Two characters we’ve all decided are MLM in some capacity. (Or at least Owen because Justin). I don’t know about a ship but we know they’re both the bestest so they’d get along very well. Also, we all also agree that they shouldn’t have been cut from All-Stars. Rating: 6.5/10

Dawn and Laurie (or Daurie... It was that or ‘Lawn’): The nature lovers of Fresh TV. The Vegans’ ending in RR took an... interesting turn. Maybe Laurie can recover from that. Maybe she just needs a more encouraging force like Dawn in her life. Or maybe she and Miles are gonna be like ThatVeganTeacher forever. Rating: 6/10

DJ and Gwen (or Dwen): Don’t ship but the two of them seem to have positive feelings towards each other. Gwen had nothing bad to say about him in the T.D.I. finale. Once again, another Total Drama Friendship I’d would’ve liked to have seen more of. Rating: GIVE US WHOLSOMENESS/10

Gwen and Trent (or Gwent): Oh, Gwent. Where did we go wrong? I know Trent wasn’t the most interesting character in Island and the character he did get in Action was just so Gwen could have reasons to break up with him. Look, the break up was the worst part of Action but I liked these two together. They made each other really happy and their interactions were really wholesome. Plus, they’re at least on good terms, which is nice. I don’t usually include canon ships but I decided to feature this one so I could give it a 9/10. For you, Trent. For you.

Heather and Sierra (or Heatherra): Not too long ago, I discovered that this was an existing ship apparently. Sierra established that she’s been a fan of the show long enough to know when Heather’s pulling her strings so I’m not sure how far this would go. But I really like the moment in World Tour where Heather feels genuine sympathy and helpfulness when Sierra went bald. That was nice. I can see why people like this. Rating: 7/10

Justin and Topher (or Justohper): They’re both extremely conceited. They’re both very obviously gay. They’re both failed attempts at being master manipulators. They’re perfect for each other! The only reason I’m not giving them a higher rating is because I know they’d be insufferable to be around! Rating: 7/10

Mike and Sanders (or Mikders): Okay, so originally I had this idea that it would be a Raising Arizona-situation where the cop and the guy who kept getting arrested fell in love, this time being Sanders and Mal. But then I realized A) I already used that idea with Duncan and Sanders or MacArthur and B) Sanders wouldn’t put up with Mal’s shit. Rating: 3/10

Mike and Eva (or Mikva): Can’t see Eva with Mike. Or Vito. Or Svetlana. Definitely not Chester. She’d get really annoyed with Manitoba’s chauvinism. But she’d (somehow!) be the only person who wouldn’t be scared of Mal. As a reminder, I don’t like Mal. Fuck Mal/10

Scarlett and Ezekiel (or Scarlekiel): She’s smart, right? She’d turn him back to normal, right? That’s something she’d do despite being sadistic and evil and- Sigh. Poor Zeke. Maybe a Beauty and the Beast situation but evil. Rating: 5/10

Staci and Ezekiel (or Stacekiel): She never stops talking and you don’t talk at all because you’ve gone feral. She... completes you? Yeah, no. That was a reach. Rating: 4/10

Tom and Kitty (or Titty): Rating: I am such a fucking dork who never matured/10

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absolutepokemontrash · 3 years

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You don't need to write this if you dont want too because it's up to you but this is something wholsome

WHAT IF L!MC M!M & BBY A!MC BECOME BABIES AND THERE EVEONES HAS TO CARE FOR THEM,

I apologize for having such horrible writing and grammer. I never payed attention in school, nor could I afford to pay attention 👉😎👉

Bro I feel you on the not paying attention in school thing. Fear not, dearest asker, ask for demon babies, and since I am a merciful writer, you shall receive.

Oh Shit, Half-Demon Babies are Running Amok Send Diapers and Help-

Mini summary for the casual reader, L!MC is Lucifer’s half demon child who got summoned into the Devildom to be one of the human exchange students, M!MC is Mammon’s half demon kid, and A!MC is Asmo’s. Let’s get to the fic!

Ah, what a relaxing day... Lucifer was sitting back in his desk chair, enjoying a nice glass of Demonus and listening to one of his favourite cursed vinyls. He had done a damn good job on his work earlier and Diavolo had insisted there was no more work to be done and he could have the weekend all to himself.

Of course, his brothers were still a factor that could have ruined his me-time... on any other weekend! Satan had just gotten a new encyclopedia to read, so he wouldn’t be causing any trouble, Beel and Belphie were going to take that Devildom food tour, Mammon and M!MC were planning on spending the entire weekend shopping, Asmo and A!MC were going up to the human world on Saturday and staying until Sunday, and Levi... He got a sudden burst of inspiration for his Animal Crossing Island and most likely wouldn’t be leaving his room for the next month. Lastly, L!MC wouldn’t be causing any problems, his child would probably spend their time with him rambling about musicals or anime they had seen, and Lucifer found their intense interest very adorable.

Ah... peace and quiet...

...

...why did Lucifer hear crying?

There, standing in the entrance hall of the House of Lamentation, was Solomon, holding three screaming babies.

What, and I cannot stress this enough, THE HELL?!

“Ah, Lucifer,” Solomon attempted to wave hello, but needing to continue to bounce one of the babies on his hip kind of hindered the gesture, not that Lucifer wanted a wave at that moment. “I’m sure you have questions.”

After everyone had gathered into the living room, Solomon explained how a spell gone awry had hit L!MC, M!MC, and A!MC with the effect of turning the three into the screaming infants that stood (or... awkwardly sprawled out) in front of them.

On the bright side, the spell only had a timespan of roughly two days, so they wouldn’t be stuck like that forever.

Everyone sat in silence for a few minutes (save for the babies, who were still either crying or incoherently babbling) as they processed that information. Lucifer, ever the flawless older brother and leader, stood up and clapped his hands together once.

“Alright then, everyone cancel your weekend plans, we need to deal with this.”

Lucifer’s dearest little brothers all whined in protest, Satan in particular. “They’re not our kids, why do Belphie, Beel, Levi, and I need to cancel our plans?!”

“Satan,” Lucifer said sternly. “You don’t remember this, but it took six people to take care of one of you. The kids may only be half demons but there are three of them. We need all hands on deck. Besides, if you all want someone to blame, blame Solomon.”

Everyone turned and levelled their practically murderous glared at the sorcerer, who suddenly pulled baby A!MC into his lap and began to rock them back and forth.

“I have never felt more unsafe.” Solomon laughed nervously. “But you wouldn’t kill me while I’m holding my not-child would you?”

Asmo stomped over and snatched A!MC away from Solomon. “I can’t believe you- ACK! A!MC! Stop drooling!”

A!MC had a long trail of drool coming out of their mouth which caused Asmo to shriek and hold A!MC at arms length away. “Stop that! That’s gross, A!MC, you know better.”

The adorable baby continued to babble and drool.

Mammon picked up M!MC, who almost immediately stopped crying upon seeing Mammon’s watch, they began making grab hands at it. “Ah, ya want the watch?”

M!MC squealed in delight as Mammon dangled the watch above them, Mammon was delighted that his little brat still had their expensive taste, even as a baby. “Hey, look at me! I’m doin’ pretty good! Suck it, Asmo!”

As Asmo and Mammon bickered, Lucifer took the time to look at L!MC, they pulled at Lucifer’s tie and hummed to themselves. They were mind numbingly cute despite the screeching they were doing earlier. The sight tugged at the cold spot where Lucifer’s heart should have been, he had missed this part of his child’s life... maybe just that weekend he’d get a chance to-

“Solomon where do you think you’re going?” Lucifer was pulled from his thoughts when he noticed the shifty bastard trying to make his escape. “You’re staying to help manage this nonsense.”

—————

A!MC may have been an absolute ray of sunshine normally, but as a baby, they definitely lived up to the term demon-spawn.

A!MC would scream, cry and pitch a fit if they didn’t get what they wanted immediately, not that they had any way of articulating what they wanted because they were a god damn baby! Asmo and Solomon were at the point where they were just holding stuff out to A!MC to see if it would make them stop crying.

“Come on butterfly, don’t you like this... antique perfume bottle?” Asmo asked, A!MC took one look at it, then burst into flames and started wailing again. “For the love of my father WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?!”

Now there were two sobbing messes in the room, and one was on fire. Solomon quickly magically took care of A!MC’s little fire problem (the baby was fiiiiiiine, demon babies light themselves on fire all the time!), picked A!MC up, sat down on Asmo’s bed, and snapped his fingers. Tiny balls of light gently floated into the air around the three, Asmo looked up from his pity party upon hearing A!MC stop their crying.

“See, you still like my magic, even as a baby, right A!MC?” Solomon asked, A!MC looked around in silent wonder, trying to reach up and touch the lights.

“Oh Solomon, this almost makes me forgive you for screwing up my weekend plans...” Asmo sighed in relief, he sat next to Solomon and pulled A!MC into his lap. “Not very colourful though, is it? Let me fix that.”

Asmo smiled as his own magic added streaks of colour, it was like their very own private showing of the northern lights. A!MC had on one of those goofy baby smiles that can make even the grumpiest person smile back.

Solomon and Asmo shaped some of the lights into shapes and animals, Asmo let a pink butterfly land on A!MC’s nose, much to their adorable delight.

“And that one’s a bird, and that one’s a giraffe,”

“That’s an alpaca.”

“Sorry, an alpaca with a weirdly long neck, oh! And a sheep!” Asmo looked down at his lap where A!MC sat and tickled their sides. “Everyone likes sheep!”

He then quickly shaped a ball of light into a scorpion and made it scuttle into A!MC’s lap. “But I have to say, scorpions are the best.”

The fifth born sighed in contentment as their sweet little hellspawn continued to watch the magic show. Never in his life did Asmodeus ever think he’d be this happy holding a baby, usually babies were things he thought should be handled with hazmat suits, but not at that moment. His little butterfly truly did have him wrapped around their finger.

“Asmo, hey, Asmo,” Asmo looked over at Solomon, who had a glowing triangle over one of his eyes. “Would you like to join my secret society?”

“Solomon, you are ruining the moment.”

——————

“C’mon kiddo! Eat your damn food!” Mammon once again tried to shove the spoon into his kid’s mouth with the same result as the 50 previous attempts.

“YUCKY!” M!MC shouted and slapped the spoon away.

“Here,” Beel took the spoon from Mammon. “Maybe it’s yucky like they said.”

Beel ate what was on the spoon, then smiled brightly. “You can really taste the mango!”

“See bud..? Beel likes it.” Mammon gestured at Beel, who was eating the entire jar of baby food as Belphie watched in amusement. He was such an asset to the team. “Beel! They need to eat!”

“Fine, let me try.” Belphie grabbed another spoon, and waved it in M!MC’s face. “Here comes the airplane... whoosh... whoosh...”

M!MC didn’t budge, Belphie knitted his eyebrows and rolled his eyes. “Okay, fine, be that way.”

Levi pushed open the door to the kitchen, and upon seeing the scene before him, immediately turned and tried to leave. “Nope! Food isn’t worth getting spit up all over me-”

Mammon lunged forward, grabbed the back of Levi’s jacket and practically yanked him into the kitchen, he slapped a spoon into his hand and smiled. “C’mon, do a favour for your super great big brother!”

The third born looked at M!MC, who defiantly stared back at him, the baby had the upper hand and the little brat knew it. Babies were so much cuter in anime...

Levi nervously stepped forward and held out the spoon like a weapon. “O-okay M-M-M!MC... you need to eat your food... pls... pls eat.”

M!MC said nothing, they only did what most babies did.

...

They spun their head 90 degrees until the back of their head was all Levi could see.

Everyone in the kitchen stood in complete silence, until Mammon jumped a foot in the air and started screaming bloody murder. “MY BABY!”

He dove forward and scooped M!MC up in his arms, the baby, obviously freaked out by the sudden loud noise, had begun to cry.

“It’s okay! It’s okay! Uh... uh...” Mammon looked around frantically. “Hush little baby don’t say a word... papas gonna buy you a mockingbird. And if that mockingbird don’t sing, papa’s gonna buy you a diamond ring... and if that diamond ring is brass, butitwon’tbebecauseyouroldmanwouldn’tgetcheatedlikethat-”

M!MC spun their head back to its correct position, but their crying sounds were now several octaves lower... It sounded like if someone put a baby in the Darth Vader mask but without the weird breathing sounds...

Mammon looked to Belphie. “I’m blankin’ on nursery rhymes! Ya hafta know some kid songs!”

Belphie, after being put on the spot, suddenly forgot every single nursery rhyme and lullaby any of his brothers had ever sung to him. Oh! A song popped into his head! He could sing that!

“Lizzie Borden took an axe, gave her mother forty whacks, when she saw what she had done, she gave her father forty one-”

“Not that one!” Mammon squeaked, holding M!MC closer to him. M!MC’s voice had returned to normal, the next problem is that they were only speaking in infernal. “Somethin’ else!”

“There was an old lady who swallowed a fly,” Beel began to sing. “I don’t know why she swallowed that fly... I forgot the rest of the song...”

“Dammit... Leviiiiii!” Mammon wheezed, desperately trying to calm the angrily growling M!MC. “Sing! Sing anything!”

“A-anything?” Only one song came to mind. “Uh um... With the doors of heaven and Hell barred, there is no other but the guard, Master of the Hellish Yard...”

Mammon lit up and nodded like Levi had just offered him a million Grimm. “Aw hell yeah! This song!”

He handed M!MC to Beel and began to dance and sing next to Levi, who had really gotten into the song as well!

“With those sins that you've committed, If you pay you'll be acquitted, and your crimes all permitted,” the two paused for dramatic effect before both belting out the best line in the song.

“ONLY ONES WITH CASH DO WELL, WELL AT LEAST IN HELL!”

As Levi and Mammon continued to sing, M!MC became so entranced by the dance, that they stopped their demonic babbling and just watched the second and third born dance and sing the English cover of an old vocaloid song. Belphie and Beel made brief confused eye contact to make sure the other twin was seeing the same thing.

The duo finished the song and took a bow, Beel lightly tapped M!MC’s chubby baby hands together to make it look like they were clapping. It was enough for Mammon and Levi.

“Thank you, thank you,” Mammon said. “We’ll be here forever, next show ain’t free.”

“We should sing The Tailor on Enbizaka next!”

“Levi! No! That song is like... seven minutes long!”

“Hey, morons,” Belphie stuck his thumb at M!MC. “They still haven’t eaten.”

Mammon’s triumphant expression dropped right to the floor. “Ah fuck...”

——————

“Satan, where’s L!MC-” Lucifer looked up at the ceiling of Satan’s room and his jaw dropped. “WHAT ARE THEY DOING UP THERE?!”

“I can’t get them down!” Satan hissed back.

L!MC. L!MC the BABY. They were on the ceiling. They were sitting upside down on the ceiling like it was an average Friday. Lucifer was too old for this shit...

“L!MC.” Lucifer held out his arms, L!MC squinted at him, that’s when Lucifer remembered L!MC was practically blind without their glasses. “L!MC, it’s your father, come here.”

“Don’t you think I’ve tried calling them down like that?!” Satan spat as he quickly ran a hand through his hair.

Lucifer shot a glare at Satan, then Lucifer heard something that nearly made his (lack of) heart stop. Oh no- L!MC was yawning-

L!MC yawned and suddenly detached from the ceiling. Lucifer and Satan both dove forward to catch L!MC, which culminated in one of Satan’s piles of books falling down, but with L!MC safe and sound.

“Damn it.” Satan grumbled as Lucifer shifted to properly hold L!MC. “This is going to take forever to clean...”

“That was clean?” Lucifer raised an eyebrow as L!MC began to fuss slightly.

Satan growled and rolled his eyes. “Yes, it was clean thank you very much. I knew exactly where everything was.”

The cat that unofficially ruled the House of Lamentation pranced into Satan’s room like it didn’t have a care in the world, it began to bat at one of the loose papers that had been scattered around the floor. Detective Toe Beans, you’re an esteemed detective, and technically RAD’s mascot, stop that!

Satan scooped up the cat and began to put the books back in the pile, when Lucifer noticed a familiar, beat-up old book lying near the bottom of the pile.

“Ah, I remember this book,” Lucifer leaned down and picked it up, showing the cover to L!MC, who didn’t seem very interested and continued petting the fur part of Lucifer’s jacket. “It’s good for a bedtime story, right L!MC?”

Lucifer tucked the book under his arm and turned to leave when Satan practically shot upwards. “If you think you can just take that out of my room, you’re completely delusional.”

“Are you seriously going to whine about getting a bedtime story for L!MC?”

“CAT!” L!MC looked over Lucifer’s shoulder and reached for Detective Toe Beans. “CAT!”

“Yes L!MC, cat.” Lucifer whispered to them, then turned back to Satan. “And if I’m remembering correctly, I used to read this to you. Do you really want to deprive poor L!MC of bedtime stories from me?”

“Pff... deprive...” Satan rolled his eyes and huffed. “I’d be saving them. You were the only one who never did any voices for the characters, I was bored to sleep.”

Satan walked forward and swiped the book from Lucifer. “If anyone’s reading L!MC a bedtime story, it should be me. I’m twice the storyteller you’ll ever be.”

Lucifer scoffed. “Ridiculous. We’ll both read L!MC a story and they can tell us who did best when they get back to normal.”

“Fine by me.”

The three (four if you count Bean) were soon seated on the couch in Lucifer’s room. Lucifer took the first story.

Satan listened along and absentmindedly pet Bean, hearing a story he had heard over and over again had managed to bring back memories of a time where he had significantly less control over his wrath. Every night he’d demand a bedtime story or he’d throw a tantrum unlike anything the Devildom had ever seen.

The eldest was always there to swoop in and read Satan a story whenever the little ball of seething rage looked ready to kill the unfortunate brother who told him it was bedtime.

It had gotten to the point that Satan could recite most of the stories in the book completely by heart. He chuckled under his breath as he remembered the time he matter of factly told Lucifer that he’d be reading him the bedtime story that night and proceeded to pretend to read the story of The Hydra and the Pufferfish. He hadn’t actually learned to read, much to Lucifer’s dismay, Satan just memorized what to say and when to turn the pages.

Though, it was apparently impressive enough at the time to warrant a head pat from Lucifer.

The fourth born leaned closer to Lucifer to get a better look at the book’s illustrations. They were always slightly off and strange looking, much like the pictures in the Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark book that L!MC had given Satan for his birthday.

Lucifer abruptly stopped reading.

“Why’d you stop?” Satan looked up at Lucifer, then over at L!MC. Aw... Satan didn’t even get a chance to read...

“Our audience has fallen asleep.” Lucifer stifled a yawn and prepared to close the book, Satan quickly shoved his hand on the page to stop him.

“You started reading,” Satan looked away and grumbled. “So at least finish the story...”

Lucifer smirked and opened the book back up. “If you insist, Satan.”

————————

Yayyyyy! Babies! I’m sure the three get back to normal by Monday... hopefully...

Here’s a link to the song Levi and Mammon are singing!

I hope you all enjoyed! As of the time I’m posting this, the next set of Lessons 1-5 Headcanons will be out tomorrow at 8:30 pm EST.

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