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#god this was theraputic
ghostfrog81 · 2 months
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Playing around with Klaus Voormann’s style
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Points at you. 10 and/or 11 for starstruck?
Two starstruck asks,,,,,,joy of joys,,
Part of an ask game linked here.
#10. What's an au you have for them?
Since them meeting at all is technically an AU i have 3 different ways that they do meet up. There's the one where Juniper ends up with the agency/adjacent to and ends up working with Reggie (have written a fic with this). The next one is Juniper surviving but basically going stealth and living as normal of a life as he can and ending up meeting Reggie through chance (most recent fic I've written). And then there's my personal favourite where Reginald "You're lucky my tracking skills are still up to snuff" Crane keeping himself busy after Phoenix was MIA and finding Juniper still alive (fic I want to write but haven't started mainly because it may end up multi chapter).
In terms of more AU canon bending taking them and putting them in a completely unrelated situation...I have a guilty pleasure Warrior Cats AU for IEYTD in general. Both JJ and Reggie have perfect warrior cats suffixes in their names already (Juniper and Crane) so they're called Junipersong (charcoal bengal) and Craneflight (tabby Norwegian forest cat). It's very silly but the amount of scenes I have in my mind for it...good lord...
#11. How was their first kiss like?
Augh my friend Imp wrote an absolutely excellent fic about it (tragically in the realm of unfinished Google docs) and I'm shaking their hand about it so hard. Basically Juniper kissing Reggie but he like wasn't ready/fully expecting it and Juniper absolutely panicking because he thinks he's misread every interaction between them both since they got closer. The second one is much sweeter though,,
#realised i phrased all the fics ive written like those ghosts that haunted scrooge#ah yes the fic of starstuck past#the fic of starstruck present and the fic of starstruck yet to come. it's so dumb#and uhh for the warrior cats thing um. of course they aren't purebreds minus Juniper who used to be a kittypet (housecat) but -#- it was moreso for easy description#reggie is fluffy but he's not quite maine coonf fluffy...norwegan forest cat was a nice middle ground...still gets big guy points too#also um side note roxanix in that au um. they adopted a kit as a stand in for robutler in that au......#also solaris is a VERY grumpy warrior turned medicine cat annnnd thats about all I have fully hashed out in my mind for it so far#im so torn abt also having triple threat.....extra large polycule where phoenix is just intimidated by the others prism is dating lmao#ANYWAYS ENOUGH ABOUT THE WARRIOR CATS AU#can you tell I have a special interest in cats/warrior cats. oh how I miss drawing cats. but I must learn people. for the brainworms...ouuu#i don't have much else to say on that second question other than....AUUUUUUGH they're so. there's so much pent up stuff.#like for JJ it's the first time he's let himself actually love another man the way he wants to while for Reggie it's a lot of -#- realising JJ is trying to be a better person while still ackowleging the fact that he did bad??? basically second chance yada yada#man. i love these two#ik im a broken ass reccord but I've never proactively posted abt them outside the last couple months and it's been so theraputic#ty for the ask it was fun :3c#ieytd#starstruck#junicrane#ask game#not tagging them specifically I don't wanna clog up tags too much#god WHY do i have such an issue eith that. mental issue. anyways
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aviduringgremlinhours · 6 months
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I always like to think I'd be so normal if I ever met Mizu but in reality my rabid chihuahua-like personality and autism rizz would both scare and intrigue her to the point where she keep me around just to put me in a jar and ovserve
...AND THEN WE GET MARRIED UH HUH UH HUH GOOD SHIT GOOOOOOD SHIT THATS SOME GOOD SHIT RIGHT THERE-
Also yeah thats how I draw myself
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tears-that-heal · 5 months
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At a local coffee shop, having fun doing a warm-up drawing before I get working on my design sketches for a first real art commission. 🥰 I’m super excited!!!!
Updates on my new art commissioned project are to come! So keep your eyes peeled. 😜
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chamomile ⇢ what kind of things do you like receiving as gifts? (So I'll know for next year. Heh.)
ive just taken a tour of my own house like shit what DO i like
the skill mags and paperbacks you’ve sent have been a delight, none of them were things i would have picked up on my own but i have loved them all! if you run across any cool iron or sew-on patches those spark great joy. stupid novelty cat toys for the chief henchwoman. NASA/space race paraphernalia. postcards are always aces, unused stationery esp blank cards are great (always a slut for weird vintage deadstock). love a map/chart/graph. bandannas or light scarves.
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nonsensemonkey · 2 months
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shin is sitting with me while i write today 🥰 he's good company...all things considered.
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The Psyche Has A God-Shaped Hole
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View On WordPress
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honexjams · 8 months
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i need more people to know about violent pictures by dream on dreamer
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ziracona · 1 year
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This reminds me of that one poem I wrote in college that my professor got furious at me for and would never explain what was wrong about it and when I tried asking got so mad she cried and just said 'never ask me again'
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velvetboyette · 1 year
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OH MY GOD AGAIN WITH THE MEDS AUGH WHY IS IT WEARING OFF A FUCKING HOUR EARLY 4AM 1PM 7PM FUCK IM DONE ITS ONLY 330 AND IM FULL FUCKING TILT AGAIN
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norrkatt · 2 years
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ppl think i'm an edgy athiest nope i'm a christopagan i just have a sense of humour
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bgomtori · 8 months
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☆ falling behind - k.th
synopsis - where everyone around you falls in love but you.
-> taehyun x reader
-> strangers to potential lovers, college au!
-> warnings! talks about the inability to fall inlove, yn zones out a lot, mentions of almost dying and being suicidal, alcohol, slowburn
-> note! happy tyun day!! love this man so much :' + laufey is so theraputic, i love her songs sm
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love, a complex and profound emotion, an emotion experienced by many at least once in their lifetime. many may find solace in the warmth of shared gazes and the gentleness of intertwined fingers. love is like a canvas painted with the hues of understanding and compassion, where every stroke tells a story of shared excitement, or even bitter arguements. however, not everything is perfect, love can be exhausting and scary. while people yearn for the feeling of affection, some individuals decide to isolate themselves and prevent hurting themselves in the future, and completely destroy the meaning of love.
you sighed at the thought of being attracted to someone romantically, as you listened to your friends' sappy love stories about their partners, you couldn't help but feel a tinge of jealousy in your heart. when someone confesses their feelings to you, you can't help but feel disgusted, why can't you feel any romantic feelings towards anyone, like a normal human being? were you a robot? why can everyone around you fall for each other but you? your best friends have been in and out of relationships for god knows how many times, but you could only watch that happen. while everyone was falling inlove, you were falling behind.
"the right one will come to you, maybe by then, you'll feel your heart racing faster." ningning reassured you. but how? how would you know how love would feel like? you looked down, feeling devastated about the thought that you may never get married in the future. "don't worry yn! they'll come to you, it may not be in college, but maybe when you start working? who knows, or maybe they're here right now?" giselle exclaimed, trying to be more positive after seeing your gloomy state.
"i've never fallen in love with anyone before, how am i supposed to know how that feels." you groaned, stirring your coffee even though the milk has already been mixed in. "don't worry! the both of us can help you." you looked up from your sad coffee, just to see your friends stare at you with hopeful looks, you couldn't help but chuckle at them.
"fine." you couldn't believe you agreed to something like that, how were you going to find someone to try, or force yourself to fall inlove with. you were an introvert, you barely knew anyone that was in your college, all you did was follow your friend group around campus and laugh along with their jokes. as you left the cafe, walking in the opposite direction of your friends, you couldn't help but wonder how it was like for you to openly like someone, hold hands, or even kiss. the thought made you cringe, hell no, you can't imagine yourself doing that. however, the sound of finally having a shoulder to cry on, and calling someone yours, made you smile to yourself, that must be nice.
you were completely lost in your own world, not even noticing the traffic light infront of you, it was still red. cars quickly zooming past before the green man appears, you were clueless enough to almost step foot onto the busy street, until someone yanked you away, making you shriek in fear. you came back to your senses, finally realising that you were infront of a traffic light, you looked over your shoulder to notice the man holding you back from almost killing yourself. he was quite attractive, despite his outfit being a graphic tee with some sweatpants on, he had a nice face with big eyes.
"are you blind, or suicidal? why would you walk onto a road with oncoming vehicles." his tone was harsh, you could feel him belittling you. "i was lost in my thoughts, sorry.." you spoke barely in a whisper, slightly embarrassed that a stranger had to save you from a tragedy. he finally let go of your bag, walking away into the distant, you stared at his disappearing figure, wondering why he looked so familiar.
ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁
"please yn, let's watch the football finals tonight. don't you wanna support our school." giselle whined, hugging onto your arm. "fine.." you grumbled, you were forced into this, you wanted to go home earlier today after your lecture and rest, but the universe has planned a different fate for you.
"yes! then you're gonna follow us to the after party too." your head turned towards ningning so fast, your head could fly off. "i didn't agree to that." you almost shouted, "nuh uh, you need to socialise, especially since you're in college." ningning gave you a smug look before walking off towards her classroom. you rubbed your head in annoyance, you couldn't believe that you were forced into this, but you were slightly excited, maybe you could find the someone you've been longing for. you quickly shook your head, why would you be thinking about stuff like that now. what are the chances that you would meet your future partner.
"i hate this so much." you mumbled to yourself, taking a seat near the back of the lecture theatre, trying to complete the last few questions of the homework assigned. you hoped that the day would go by faster, so that you could be in the comfort of your own home. yet again, you were occupied by your own thoughts, zoning in and out of lessons, only to be interrupted by the sudden movement at the front of the lecture hall.
"kang taehyun, how many times have you been late to class this month alone." the lecturer complained, taehyun apologised for his tardiness, completely ignoring the lecturers fussing as he made his way to the back of the class, where the only seat available was the one beside you. you stared at his face, trying to make out who he was, he felt familiar.
"oh it's you." he suddenly said, you looked at him with a puzzled expression on your face. that was the guy who saved you yesterday, you blushed at the sudden memory. how embarrassing.. "is this class the reason why you wanted to walk onto oncoming traffic? if it was, i understand." taehyun joked, taking out his laptop from his bag. you rolled your eyes at him, did he really think that you wanted to kill yourself?
"i already told you last night, i was just in my own world, i didn't notice the road infront of me." you retorted, taehyun chuckled at you, bringing his attention back to what the lecturer was teaching. you couldn't help but sneak glances at taehyun, he had to admit that he was fucking attractive, how have you not noticed him before. heck, you didn't even know that he was in your class to begin with. you quickly snapped yourself out of it, trying to focus in class.
"you really zone out a lot." a voice brought you back to reality, you didn't even realise that class had already ended, which part of lesson did you zone out at? "sorry, i think i'm just tired.." you rubbed your heavy lidded eyes, about to leave your seat.
"i'll send you my lecture notes, you gotta repay me though." taehyun stated, you stared at him in confusion, why was he acting so nicely to you? "what are you staring at me for? do you want to fail?" ouch, he was really straightforward. you gave taehyun your email in order for him to email you his notes. you briefly thanked him, walking out of the lecture theatre as fast as you could. you saw your friend group standing in the distance, probably waiting for you, you jogged up to them, giving them an apology for holding up their time.
"what took you so long?" ningning asked, eyeing you suspiciously.
"i zoned out in class, so i needed to get notes from my tablemate, sorry." you explained yourself. ningning gave you a slow nod before pulling you along with her, "well, let's go hang in your dorm before we head out for the match."
not long after, you've been lazing around with ningning and giselle, talking about basic things like what you did during the day, your classes, and obviously, their current partners. you sighed into the palm of your hand, looking down at your phone, scrolling aimlessly on tiktok, nodding your head occassionally at what they had to say.
"i'm so excited to support him later, hey yn, do you want me to introduce some players on the football team to you? i think there's some that may suit you." giselle suddenly questioned, you flinched at the sudden question, shit, you weren't listening at all up till that point.
"it's fine, i'm not looking for anyone right now." you mumbled out your answer, apparently that upsetted giselle, causing her to pout at your words. "you gotta have a look at them, seeing you all single and lonely hurts me too." she whined into your arm, making you cringe a little. you let out a nervous chuckle, pulling her away from your arm, "i'll try."
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this was definitely new to you, the loud screaming, along with the band blasting in the background felt foreign to you. the stadium was packed with students from your school and the opponent's school. the guys were already warming up on the sideline, getting in their stretches as quickly as possible, looking up at the bleachers time to time to spot their friends, family or partners. you looked at the players from the opposing school, you have to say they looked really tough to play against, hopefulky your school would be able to beat them.
now you scanned the players from your school, but to your luck, you accidentally made eye contact with a certain black haired male, kang taehyun? you really didn't know he was apart of your school's football team. you stared at him with widened eyes, shocked to find him there. he caught your gaze, returning the same surprised look you had before slowly waving at you. you looked around you, maybe he was waving at someone else? ah fuck it, you waved back at him, giving him an awkward smile.
"you know taehyun?" ningning teased, bumping your shoulder as if you successfully flirted with someone. you rolled your eyes, "yea, he's in my class. he was the one who gave me notes earlier today." you bluntly replied.
"ooo, he isn't the type who would help someone so easily." giselle smirked, giving you a knowing glance. you glared at her, no. you and taehyun would never be something like that, he was out of your league, and especially if you may not even feel any romantic attraction, you can never be with taehyun.
"that'll never happen." you whispered out, leaning onto the railings infront of you, staring at taehyun as he runs across the field, dribbling the ball with his foot before passing it over to his teammate. yea, he was kinda attractive, but he was off-limits. you hear chanting from your side of the stadium, before it turned to loud screams of delight. they scored, your school scored. you clapped your hands, smiling at the field infront of you. this was fun, something out of your comfort zone, yet so exhilarating.
the match was extremely close, it was currently a tie between your school and the opposing school, the win for your school was dependent on this singular penalty kick. the whistle was finally blowed, signalling for the penalty kick. the tension was high, the stadium was pin-drop silent, eyes fixated on the ball infront of taehyun. everyone was praying for either a good or bad outcome, taehyun took a deep breath in, backing up from the ball slightly, getting a few jogs in before kicking the ball towards the goal.
there was a brief silence before the referee called for the whistle. the game ended, the crowd roared in happiness, screaming their lungs off. the boys on the field jumped onto taehyun, hugging him.
"holy shit, you just helped us win the entire season, you sick bastard." yeonjun yelled, slightly tearing up. taehyun smiled widely at his teammates, if it weren't for them, he wouldn't be able to score that perfect goal at the end.
"they did so well!" ningning slapped you shoulder, along with giselle, making the two of you hiss in pain. "come on now, let's go to the after party before it gets too crowded." ningning exclaimed, hugging the two of you by the shoulder, pulling you guys towards the taxi stand.
ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁
"let's all get fucking wasted tonight, this win was ours, let's celebrate it." a tall, lean male shouted causing the whole room to burst in screams and cheers. this night was going to be a hectic one.
fuck, but now this was an awkward situation for you. you were sitting at the corner of the room, sipping on the alcoholic beverage you had in hand, snacking on the snacks infront of you. apparently, giselle and ningning left you to take care of their bags while they were off finding their partners, it's even worse that you barely knew anyone here, you only knew their names, but have you spoken to any of them? that was another thing.
you scrolled on your phone, tuning out the obnoxiously loud music that was blasting, you really wanted to leave. you were zoning out from time to time, either that or observing the people around you. pockets of couples dancing with one another, or making out with each other near where the toilets were, gross. you sighed to yourself, this was getting boring, how much longer into the night must you be here? giselle was supposed to introduce some of the football players to you, but guess that was scraped off her agenda.
"zoning off again?" a voice broke your trance, making you jolt in your seat. it was kang taehyun, again.
"you don't seem like the type who would go to parties." taehyun assumed, taking a seat next to you.
"i was forced here." you simply replied, not wanting to socialise with anyone right now. there was awkward silence between the two of you, allowing you to dive into your thoughts again. recently, you realise that you have been seeing taehyun more often than usual, why was that? was it because he saved you from not accidentally killing yourself.
"you wanna leave this place together?"
"excuse me, what?"
"you heard me, wanna ditch this place, i'm getting bored here." taehyun admitted, shrugging his shoulder while waiting for your response. you played around with your fingers, you were getting bored as well, but is it really worth it to leave this place with a guy you barely knew? furthermore, you have two designer bags that were entrusted to you. well fuck it, you're gonna leave with an attractive guy.
"you know what? sure." you stood up, looking down at the male who was staring at you with shocked eyes, taehyun could only chuckle at your actions, pulling you through the crowd. finally, the air didn't feel hot and sticky anymore. the cool breeze hit your skin, making you shiver slightly. you quietly followed behind taehyun to his car, hoping that he wouldn't knock you up in his car or something.
"where are we going?" you asked, your voice was soft, you weren't exactly comfortable with going into a vehicle with a male in it.
"i know a spot, i find you interesting, i wanna get to know you more." taehyun answered, unlocking his car door. you sat in the passenger seat, not knowing what to do. this was so new to you.
"don't feel too uncomfortable, i won't do anything bad." taehyun reassured, reading your exact thoughts. you nodded your head slowly, looking out of the window, taking in the views while softly humming to the music in the background.
"you're not a talker aren't you?" taehyun broke the silence, trying to brighten the tense atmosphere, only to be shot down by your quick, 'yea'. taehyun remained quiet for most of the ride, unable to find topics to talk about.
"what's your view on love?" you suddenly questioned, taehyun was taken aback, he didn't know how to respond to your inquiry. did you always start conversations like that?
"hmm, i think it's quite meaningful?" taehyun was deep in thought, what really was his view on love. he didn't know, it comes and goes for him, he has never experienced real love. "how about you? you must have had a horrible experience to ask me that question." taehyun shot back the question to you. you stared out of the window, unable to form any words, you barely knew this guy, but he seems reliable.
"it sucks."
"what?"
"i think love is hard to understand." you mumbled, feeling slightly embarrassed, now you looked like a loser.
"wow, what made you think that." you pursed your lips, opening up to a new person was harder than you expected. "it's better if i don't tell you.."
"why not? don't trust me enough?" you groaned, rolling your eyes in the process, "i barely know who you are, i'm not telling you my personal feelings." he was getting on your nerves, even though he didn't do anything to harm you.
"yet you're sitting in my car, not knowing where i'm bringing you. wow your priorities are set." taehyun sarcastically said, he was right, you remained silent, unable to argue back. "cat got your tongue?" taehyun tease, you could hear the smirk that was adorned on his face.
"just shut up." you scoffed at him, bringing your attention back to the scenary outside. it was empty, too empty for your liking, at this point you felt like you were getting kidnapped. you recited multiple prayers in your head, you haven't even been able to live your cat lady dreams, but now you may be killed by a football player. how sad is that? you squeezed your eyes shut, hoping that maybe a slight nap would be the solution to whatever was happening currently.
"we're here." you stirred from your nap, looking around to check your surroundings. an empty, secluded field, away from the vibrant and bustling city, away from the chaos happening at the party, this was theraputic. the way the wind blew gently into your face, the pretty view of the ocean, plus the night sky embellished with countless stars, the moon's soft glow adds a touch of silver to the tranquil scene.
"you always come here?" you sat next to taehyun, making yourself comfortable as you watched each wave crash onto the rocks below.
"yea, to relieve stress or when i wanna be alone. feels nice right?" taehyun took a deep breath in, the air felt so much cleaner here compared to the polluted air in the city centre. you nodded your head, humming in response, "so why'd you bring me here?"
"nothing in particular, you're quite interesting i guess." taehyun shrugged, his large brown eyes meeting yours, you felt yourself heat up under his intense gaze, what's this feeling? why does it feel so icky, yet so nice..
"so, about earlier, can you tell me why.. why you think love is so complicated." you let out a nervous chuckle after hearing his words, he's going to make fun of you, definitely. "it's kinda embarrassing." you whispered, rubbing your sweaty palms against your thighs.
"i won't judge." taehyun reassured, his eyes speaking to you that he can be trusted. you sighed, comtemplating on whether you should tell him or not, your head was telling you no, but your heart said otherwise.
"i, i don't think i can ever fall for someone romantically, and even if i did, i don't think i'll be able to commit into a relationship." you admitted, your voice was barely a whisper.
"have you tried it with the right person?" taehyun suggested, his eyes now fixated on the glimmering stars in the sky, you continued to gaze at the ocean, knees proped up to your chin, resting your gead on your knees.
"no."
"then that's the problem i guess." taehyun said non-chalantly. "no, but i've not felt any of those sensations you get when you're in love, like butterflies in your stomach, kicking your feet in bed when they reply you. i want to feel those as well, but it's so hard.. seeing all my friends fall in love is so wholesome and it makes me feel happy for them, but what about me? i'm always falling behind." you complained, plucking the grass beneath. you could feel him staring at you, your eyes darting around the empty field as if you were searching for something. his silence was killing you, you shouldn't have said that, the longer the silence was, the more you felt smaller under his piercing gaze.
"sorry–"
"what are you sorry for?" you smacked taehyun's shoulder for interrupting your apology, "let me finish, i'm sorry for suddenly ranting to you like that."
"you're apologising for that? you're cute." taehyun joked, laughing at you. your face started to heat up, how humiliating, you should have shut your mouth from the first place, but that wasn't the thing that bothered you, rather the fact that he called you cute. why was it that when it came out of his mouth, you feel flustered?
"you're just protecting yourself from hurting yourself, there's no wrong in that. even if it means you barely experience what love feels like, it's better to build up your walls than to go through a heartbreak." taehyun looked into your eyes, before looking at the ocean again.
"but experiencing love is better than never being able to have a shoulder to cry on, or rely on. i just want to find someone to love too." you groaned, hoping that it'll make him understand where you're coming from. as much as you supported your friends with their love lives, you've always wanted to have what they have, but your heart shuts this emotion out.
"then wanna try with me?" taehyun suddenly blurted out, his eyes gazing into your now widened eyes. is he insane, does he want to get heartbroken this badly?
"you're not gonna want to be with me." you mumbled, rubbing your fingers against one another.
"but this is my own decision, let's try it. you've not met the right person to love yet, maybe i can be the one." his hands on top of yours, as if he was reassuring you that it was fine to try out love with him. your heart skipped a beat, what is this? why are you feeling so giddy? your lips tugged upwards, "alright." you agreed to his proposal, making taehyun smile to himself, his thumb playing with your hand.
"you know i've noticed you for some time, i've always thought that you were quite cute and interesting." taehyun admitted, his cheeks flushing a light hue of pink that was barely visible under the moonlight.
"what." your jaw dropped, here you were thinking that no one was into you.
"crazy right?" you nodded your head.
"let's go now, it's getting late, i'll send you home." taehyun quickly stood up, pulling you up together with him, walking back to his car, this time hand in hand.
perm taglist! (send an ask to be added) @mrsyawnzzn @tinyelfperson
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pacifymebby · 1 month
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Get Your Hands off My Girl, Man
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Protective Cal intervenes when two new guys start harassing you one night at the bar.
Warnings: unwanted sexual advances which start when you are asleep. This is 99% an incredibly self indulgent theraputic little piece of writing for me.
If you don't want to read the description of events prior to the comfort bit, I'm going to put the particularly triggering bit between two dividers so you can skip.
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You hadn't really meant to fall asleep by yourself that night. In fact you'd promised Cal you'd wait up for him to take you home on the back of his bike, and that if you got really tired you'd come and find him before you fell asleep just anywhere like you used to. You had a reputation for falling asleep before the end of the night and Cal was more than used to your droopy eyed smile as the sun went down, finding you'd fallen asleep across three chairs lined up, tucked underneath his Vandals jacket.
It didn't used to be so much of an issue, back when the bar was packed out with familiar faces and friends, guys who looked intimidating but were good at heart. Well meaning guys who just wanted to unwind and have a bit of fun. Guys like Cal and Johnny who just really fucking loved motor bikes.
Cal was a pretty laidback guy and he didn't mind seeing his girl pick a snug little spot in the corner of the room to curl up and get her beauty sleep. You were never too far from him and he could relax knowing you were safe, that Johnny wouldn't let anyone bother you, that all the guys knew and respected you and Cal too much to interrupt your dreaming.
Lately however things had been a little different around Johnny's place. The picnics and the house parties had become rowdier. Busier. Guys from different towns riding in to join the 'fun'. And these guys were different. Younger, or back from Vietnam and fucked in the head. Guys bringing all sorts of drugs and weapons around. They were more violent, didn't seem to have much respect for anyone else at all. And the way some of them looked at the women. Cal had mentioned it to you a few times before because it always ground his gears seeing the way those new guys looked at the women. Looked at you.
"Like they ain't even people man, it's fucked up, looking at the chicks like they're somethin t'eat man, I don't like it..." You'd heard him tell Johnny on more than one occasion.
And Cal wasn't the only one who was bothered by the new guys and the thinly veiled threat they posed to the old guys and their girls. Benny was wary too, Johnny always seemed to have a look of trouble in his eyes when he saw the younger guys pull up outside the bar and fill in.
Some of the guys wanted to do something about it, there'd been grumblings at meetings, murmurs of laying down some new rules, enforcing some old ones. Teaching these new guys a lesson or two about how things worked in the Vandals. The things that were okay and the things which were, obviously, fucking, not.
But Johnny seemed worried about conflict. Seemed wary of the new guys. Less eager to see any of them challenge him. He wouldn't say it out loud but he was worried about starting a fight he couldn't win. So he was being careful. Trying to keep things friendly. Only stepping in when it became absolutely necessary.
Well, tonight it would be.
You hadn't meant to fall asleep there at the back of the room. You'd been fighting sleep away for hours by the time you'd settled on the sofa by the juke box. You'd slipped your shoes off and pulled your knees up to your chest, rested your head against the back of the sofa and searched the room with your tired eyes for Cal once more. He'd headed outside for a smoke a little while before, him and Benny and Johnny, all outside shooting the breeze. God knows how long they'd be out there for and you certainly didn't fancy braving the cold night air for a drag on a joint that would make you even sleepier than you were already feeling. You'd already been out for a smoke, already drank your beers. You were all worn out now and all you could do was settle down and try to stay away until Cal came back inside.
Once he saw you curled up like that, your eyelids so heavy and dozy looking he'd know you needed to go home and insist upon giving you a ride back to his so that he could tuck you into bed himself.
You only closed your eyes for a moment. Just to relieve the tired sting of them. Only closed your eyes for a moment but that had been a moment too long and you'd succumbed to sleep before the jukebox beside you had finished her song.
When you awoke you found yourself trapped at the center of a nightmare. You could feel hands on you, jostling you as someone tried to manoeuvre you out of your curled up position.
"C'mon pretty baby, parties only just begun..."
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You didn't recognise their voice and even in your half asleep state you weren't naive enough to presume this was just one of the guys trying to prank you. This was real, really happening and the moment that fact registered with you you were gripped with panic.
Without opening your eyes you froze, hoping desperately that if you just pretended not to have woken up you'd spoil their fun and they'd leave you alone. After all what could they possibly get out of you whilst you were asleep.
"Looks like someone's been on the junk..." You heard one of the snigger, their friend laughing too, a hint of delight in his voice that made your blood run cold.
"Oh boy," he cried, "she's gonna easyyy..." You heard him clap and rub his hands together before you felt hands slip beneath your knees to pull your legs away from your chest. You tried to resist a little, but only a little. Scared that if you fought back they'd realise you were awake and get ten times worse.
You knew there was nothing you could do as you felt a hand grope your breast and then another push your knees apart. The horror which gripped you was truly paralysing, your body freezing up, every muscle in you stiffening as you became rigid. There was no questioning whether you were awake now, your eyes shoot open as you starred, absolutely petrified at the grimy, practically toothless man leering down at you.
"Well would you look at that boys!" He grinned a brown, rotten smile. Your felt a cold creeping sickness tighten in your stomach, thoughts rushing through your head so fast they blurred into one.
What were they going to do to you? Why weren't you screaming? Why weren't you calling for Cal?
You wanted to desperately, but something was stopping you. That nauseous lump in your throat that had you struggling to breath let alone scream.
"C'mon baby, gimme some sugar..." He winked, his tone so laden with the threat of what he might do next, so spiteful and cruel. You knew he was enjoying scaring you half to death.
His friends jeered and laughed along, cheering him on, snatching at you, pulling your hair, their unwashed grimy faces hovering above you as they tried to get their mouths on you.
Cal
That was the only word you could conjor to mind in that moment. He was all you could think of. Desperate as you were for him to come back inside and save you.
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And just like that it was over.
You didn't really see what happened but you heard it. The sound of a bottle smashing over the back of someone's head. You heard the strange gurgle in the back of your attackers throat as his eyes rolled back and his head slumped. His whole body falling to the side as Cal shoved him aside and out the way.
"Get your fuckin hands off my girl man," he wasn't looking at you, he was glaring with all the hatred in the world at the second man. The one who had been pulling your hair and threatening to let his string of drool land between your eyes.
He let you, raising his hands above his head and backing away when he saw the threat in your mans eyes.
You couldn't move, still frozen to the sofa you'd probably never feel safe on again.
"Shit man is she yours? We're sorry Cal we didn't realise!" But his defense was weak and seeing the whites of your attackers eyes only stirred Cal's rage all the more.
His hand gripped the neck of the now broken bottle he held as he raised it above his head.
"We don't want no trouble Cal, it was a misunderstanding! Thought she was free game man! It was a misunderstanding!" The man looked real scared, shaking his head and cowering away from Cal who had frozen with the broken bottle raised and ready to strike. The gleam of sharp glass caught the light, glinting with malice.
You didn't realise the scream which had rang out moments before had been yours. That it had been the sound of your terror which had stopped Cal in his tracks. His eyes now locked on you.
"Fuck I'm sorry! We're sorry!" The third man tripped over his words, his voice real whiny with fear as Benny interrupted, charging into the scene, snatching the lecherous creep by the scruff of his shirt, fist colliding with his grimy face.
But that was all you saw before Cal rushed to you. He'd dropped that broken bottle the second he saw your petrified little face, guilt tugging on his heartstrings because he thought he was the reason you were now so scared, trembling where you sat.
"Sweet angel I am so sorry baby! Didn't mean t'scare you doll c'mere, gonna get you outa here baby don't need to be scared no more honey..." He said his tone so soft for you as he rushed to wrap his arms around you and pick you up. He wanted you out of there faster than was humanly possible but he was determined to give light speed a good go.
You threw your arms around him, burying your face into his neck as you held onto him for dear life. As he rushed you away from the chaos of the fight which Johnny and Wahoo has both joined now too, you felt like your life really did depend on Cal in that moment.
When he got you outside he placed you down gently on the seat of his bike, not ever really letting go of you as he held your waist and cupped your face in his palm.
"Let me look at you angel, did they hurt you?" He asked stroking your cheek with his thumb as he studied you for signs of harm. "I'm so sorry honey shoulda taken you home hours ago..."
Of course they had hurt you, even if there were no marks to prove it, emotionally you felt completely wrecked. Humiliated, terrified, so full of shame and guilt.
"M'okay," you tried to be brave, tried to pretend you weren't half as upset as you were but with your voice shaking the way it was and that godforsaken heartbroke look in your eyes Cal could see straight through your brave face. He shook his head and sighed.
"No you're not, course you're not baby..." He said doing his best to hold himself together too, to be calm enough to be what you needed right now instead of storming back inside and killing the bastards that hurt his baby.
You choked on another sob as you too tried to hold yourself together. Now it was just you and him outside you felt the adrenaline rush tearing through you, wrecking your nerves. You were shaking, but you didn't want to let your man down or ruin his night. You wanted to beg him to take you home but you didn't want to be dramatic.
"I'm so sorry Cal!" You said struggling to hold back your tears. You bit down on your lip so hard as you tried to fight back a sob.
Cal could see the tears in your eyes but he also knew you hated crying in front of people. He knew you'd never forgive yourself if you cried in front of his friends so before any of them could come outside and disturb you both he shook his head.
"S'alright baby," he said, "not here alright, let me take you home yeah..." He said helping you to sit properly on the back of his bike before he too straddled the seat and gripped the handles. "Gonna take you home like I shoulda done hours ago..." He'd never held that bike so tight in all his life as he revved the engine and told you to hold on tight. Of course you never wanted to let go of your man ever again.
As the two of you sped off into the early morning darkness, Cal's tires spitting gravel and dirt out behind you as he broke the speed limit, you held onto him tighter than you ever had before, your hands slipping beneath his shirt so that you could feel his chest beneath your shakey hands. You rested your cheek against his back listening to his racing heart beat almost as fast as yours. His familiar scent and the heavy dusty air soothed you a little as you shut your eyes and tried to focus on the present moment. Tried not to think about what had just happened, what might have happened to you had Cal not turned up when he did.
And when your mind began to race with too many terrible scenarios for you to handle on your own you couldn't help but shout for him to stop.
"Cal! Please stop!" You shouted fighting to be heard over the grumble of the engine. But Cal heard you loud and clear, feeling your voice and your breath skim his ear as you called out to him. Stopping the bike in a panic so that you skidded to a halt at the side of the road.
You were out in the middle of nowhere, tilled farmland to your left and right, worn out fences running along the roadside.
It was dark but for the headlight on Cal's bike lighting up the night and when he killed the engine the night was silent but for your ragged breathing. His too.
"What is it baby?" He asked you turning to look back at you with worry in his eyes. "What's the matter?"
But you could barely speak, everything hitting you, the rush of fear, the desperate urge to scream, all of it hitting you all at once leaving you on the brink of tears. Tears you couldn't hold back any longer.
"S...sorry!" You cried, your voice a choked sob as you clutched your hand to your mouth to try and stop yourself.
But Cal was already helping you down from the bike, wrapping you up in his arms gently, his hand combing through your hair before cradling your head against his chest. He rested his chin in your parting and rocked you gently, closing his eyes as he tried to calm you. He just wanted to make your pain stop. He hoped Benny had killed that good for nothing back at the bar, if he hadn't well then Cal might just head down tomorrow and kill him himself.
"Angel, honey it's alright," he said as gently as he could, "I've got you baby, no one's gonna hurt you now, s'jus me an you my sweet girl..."
"I know..." You sniffled as you clutched him close and let him guide you both to the ground.
He sat you both down on the grassy verge at the edge of the field and shifted you up into his lap, cradling you in his arms. He held a lingering kiss to your hair and shut his eyes listening to your sobs shatter the cool quiet night.
The road was dark for miles, the two of you completely alone, but that was good. That was peaceful. It meant that you were safe to cry your heart out. Meant that no one could disturb you either. Cal shrugged his jacket off and draped it around your shoulders, kissing your head again as he stroked his hand down your arm and held you close.
"You're safe baby, I won't let no one hurt you honey..." He said it again feeling all kinds of guilt because it was too late. You were already hurt. This was the aftermath of that hurt, hurt he should have been around to prevent.
"I'm s...sorry Cal," you sniffled, "shouldn't have fallen asleep like that it was stupid of me..."
"Honey no!" His whispered exclamation so certain, he couldn't believe you were blaming yourself.
"Know y'dont like it when I fall asleep like that, should t have..." You carried on, not really listening to him, so scared he was going to be angry with you. But how could he be.
"Baby, baby... baby stop that," he hushed you dragging the pet name out slow and sweet for you until your trembling lips hushed and you looked up at him, so dependent on him. "You don't apologise for nothin baby," he said firmly, pushing his finger to your lips to make sure you kept listening to him. "Baby that was not your fault... Wasn't your fault at all...It's these new guys, theres somethin wrong with em, they're fucked up... Now they shouldn't have been anywhere near you whether you were sleepin or awake, they had no right and they know it..." He said desperate to reassure you that it wasn't your fault. And as you listened to him you felt yourself beginning to calm down, felt your trembling calm as he stroked your back gently and rocked you in his arms.
"And I shoulda been there," he said a little quieter then, "I shoulda been there to stop em..."
"You did stop em." You reminded him quietly, trying to wipe your tears from your eyes, letting him do it instead, his calloused thumbs brushing your skin so carefully.
"I know honey, but I shoulda stopped em sooner.." he said swallowing the lump that looking at your sad eyes left in his throat.
"You stopped em just in time," you said, a small smile gracing your lips as you remembered what he'd said as that bottle had come smashing down on your attackers head. You let out a small giggle, one which simultaneously confused and delighted your ol' man.
"hey," he chuckled nervously, "what was that for?"
You bit back your smile as you tried to mimic his accent.
"Get your hands of my girl, man..." You said, your eyes lighting up when you looked back at him and saw him grin a little sheepishly.
"ha," he smirked almost shyly, "yeah I guess I did say that didn't I..." He mirrored your grin when you giggled and nodded your head.
"Y'know I never been more glad to see your face..." You admitted shyly, "moment I saw you I knew I was safe, knew you wouldn't let anythin happen to me..." You said smiling, your fingers playing with one another as you grew shy.
Your adrenaline rush was beginning to wear off now and you weren't shaking anymore. You just felt hollowed out and tired and as you shied away from Cal you had to hide your yawn behind your hand.
"That's right sweet girl," he said, his smile growing when he caught the blush on your cheeks, "your ol' Cal's always gonna protect you..."
So he pulled you back in for another hug, cradling you so gentle and firm like you were the most precious thing in the world. And then as he kissed your temple, and then your cheek, he let out a sigh of relief.
"C'mon baby doll," he said softly, "let me take you home, gonna hold you all night yeah?"
"Yeah." You said with a soft smile, your voice so quiet and calm as you looked up at him with such trusting eyes. He held his hands out to help you up and when you stood they found your waist, held you in front of him so carefully.
"I love you honey," he said, his eyes checking you over once more for any injury, anything he might have missed, only letting you stand on your tip toes to skim a kiss over his lips.
"Love you too baby," you whispered, your eyes gazing up into his like he was your whole world, because really he was... Your whole world.
You stood for a moment, leaning against his chest as he held you, chin atop your head, cherishing the feeling of being held by him, so close to him. The two of you listening to the still of the night, standing so still at the side of the road as you closed your eyes and let yourself lean against him completely. Letting him take your weight as you felt all your energy drain from you. Remembering how tired you had been before you'd been so scared.
Well now you were safe and your exhaustion was overpowering, your eyes struggling to stay open.
Cal could feel you growing weary, his chuckle rousing you from the precipice of sleep.
"C'mon doll, y'better wake up, I've gotta get you home..." He said tickling your cheek with his stubble to make you giggle and wake up a little bit.
"Am awake," you promised, your eyes lighting up at the thought of being home, of Cal lying down with you and pulling the blankets over your intertwined bodies.
"Atta girl," he teased you, kissing your nose before helping you onto his bike, making you promise you'd hold on tight, one hand resting on top of your two hands linked around his waist.
As he revved the engine and the two of you went riding again through the dark his hand would return to yours at every opportunity he could spare. Patting your knuckles, stroking his thumb over your fingers, half to keep you awake, half to reassure himself that you were still there. That you were still his, safe and sound holding onto him.
He'd never known relief like it when he parked the bike up outside, and lifted you up bridal style in his arms, holding you to his chest as he carried you to the front door. He kicked it open and then kicked it closed behind you both, carrying you straight up the stairs to the bathroom where he placed you down on the edge of the bath tub, mimicking your pout when you looked up at him.
"M'sleepy..." You whined making him chuckle as he pushed your hair from your eyes and stroked his fingers over your tear stained cheeks.
"I know baby I know," he cooed, "let me wash your face an I'll take you straight to bed, I promise..." He said. He didn't want to let you fall asleep with a tear stained face and the evenings makeup running down your cheeks. It would only irritate your skin and, in the morning when you woke, serve as a reminder of the awful thing that had happened to you. No when you woke up in the morning he didn't want there to be a single trace of the nights events to haunt you.
"M'kay," you agreed, yawning and rubbing your eyes, waiting for him to damp a cloth with warm water and dab it to your cheeks. You shivered as the warm water trickled down your skin, it was so soothing, lulling you into even more of a lethargic haze. Your eyes were fluttering shut as he washed your face gently, every movement careful and tender. When he was finished he held a towel up for you to bury your face in and, when for a moment you didn't move, he worried you'd actually fallen asleep there, your face nuzzled into the fluffy towel, your head only held up by his hands.
"You gonna walk or dya need a carry?" He asked as you wrapped your arms around his waist and leant against his belly. When you nuzzled wordlessly into his t-shirt he knew your answer.
He let out a yawn of his own, scooping you up into his arms once more, kissing your cheek as you clutched at his shirt, never once opening your eyes.
And then finally he was lying you down on the bed, asking you to help him help you out of your dress. Being ever so careful not to startle you as his fingers skimmed your waist. He pulled his t-shirt off and tossed it in a pile at the foot of the bed along with your clothes. Finding you a clean shirt of his that he could pull down over your head. It fell down around you, far too big for you. Made you look so small and sweet as you lay down and reached for him.
"Hurry up baby..." You yawned making grabby hands at him.
All he'd wanted to do all evening was wrap you up in his arms, have you fall asleep with your head on his chest. Cocoon around you so that you felt safe and a snug, so that you could sleep peacefully.
And that was what he did, falling down into the bed beside you, his arms bundling you to his body, pulling the covers up over your shoulders. Kissing your cheek, your temple, each of your eyes, your nose and then, pausing. He held your cheek in the cup of his hand and looked down at you.
"Can I kiss you baby?" He asked you, something he'd never really needed to ask you before. But tonight he wanted to be sure. Needed to know he wasn't going to scare you or remind you of anything you didn't want reminded off.
You bit back a smile, opening your eyes so that you could look up at him.
"Please," you whispered, your eyes fluttering shut as he smiled and leant in.
When his lips met yours you felt a warm flutter in your chest, a sanctified feeling spreading through your body, radiating from your heart. You'd never felt so loved as you did in that moment as his lips moved against yours, his nose knocking with yours as you both tried to slip just a little closer to one another. You never wanted him to pull away, despite how sleepy you were. Despite the fact that your head was heavy in his hand. You were sure you wouldn't be able to open your eyes again now that they had closed. But you felt so dreamy and content, so peaceful and cherished. So safe. So it didn't matter. And Cal held you and kissed you, only pulling away to kiss your cheek again, to stroke your hair from your face tenderly, to kiss your forehead and watch as you drifted into a peaceful sleep.
He would have waited up and watched over you all night if his own exhaustion hadn't hit him too. And now that he knew you were safe, that you were happy and peacefully dreaming, he finally felt able to drift off too. But he held you in his arms all night, your heart's syncing to beat a gentle rhythm together.
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pumpkinsy0 · 3 months
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SHEPARD FAM CAREER HEADCANNONS?????
i just woke up so excuse me me if i read this wrong and gave u somethin u aint ask for</33
tim - butcher
•said it multiple times, rhis is just him, he wanted extra cash and wanted it to have a steady reliable flow of it
•he also wanted a job where still nobody could mess w him if the did come in, yknow????
•w his record, its a miracle, maybe the boss just dont rlly care that hes in the gang and just wants the job done or this is a job tim get when hes older, maybe its a mix of both, either way his boss thought he would be an important asset in he was hired
•hes oddly graceful w it, he finds in theraputic, its odd to witness but that nigga has a way w the cleaver and knife, its pretty terrifying, maybe tim shouldnt have a job no more
•yes btw he somehow uses what he’s learned in how he fights, im not saying hes out there KILLIN ppl w his knives btw, however when it comes to rumbles w weapons, hes truly on another level
•he brings home meat for angela and curly, its mostly bacon, but he brings other stuff too, curly loves eating meat (pause on that😭) so he dont mind but ik angela gets sick of it sometimes and just wants rice or somethin
curly - he’s had like several different jobs😭
•like i could genuinely see curly as that guy whos job jumping, he’s been a janitor, a airport baggage handler, camp counselor, rn tho hes a line cook/dishwasher
•out of all three of em, i dont know HOW THIS GUY GOT A JOB, but yknow what, he got it, hes that guy that always has a new job when u see him, was he fired or did he quit??? nobody knows, u just see him pop up behind a counter some place
•he’s that coworker whos always in the back fucking around, god forbid hes the one supposed to be training u, man he’s teaching u some tricks and then leaving u to the wolves mid way
•he NEEDS a smoke break, he hates staying in one place for too long, especially in that hot ass kitchen, hes getting overstimulated and accidentally snapping at ppl someone save him
•hes not a good employee, i promise u if u got a weird ass order, he will look at u strange, and if he can sense u got social anxiety he’d probably fuck ur order up a lil bit bc what r u gonna do??? come back and tell him he got it wrong🤨🤨🤨
•chances r the place he works at is some money laundering scheme hes clueless about, he just say they were hirin and thought “eh why not”
angela - retail or fast food worker but if she tried, she could be a model
•the only one w a clean slate, her getting a job is no hassle
•shes literally nicole from bistro huddy, need i say more, she never wants to work but honestly who does???
•shes that girl listening to this poor single mother of 4 in the break room venting about how badly she needs this money to support her kids, meanwhile angela just wants to buy some damn clothes and make up😭
•man she’s never came to work in a good mood, when she wakes up she sighs putting on that uniform, but i’ll tell u what, she WILL make that uniform look good, shes a good designer w what shes got
•the customer is never right when ur in her presence, shes very intentional w what she does
•if u wanna go the model route, its bc someone took a pic of her at work and it blew up n she got recognized by modeling agencies or somethin, shes def just got “that look”, curly prolly got it too tbh, someone take a pic of him and test the waters, they can be like a two for one deal typa twin models🗣️
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iconuk01 · 8 months
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Look, you know I try to avoid swearing (Though sometimes it is theraputic, and it if gets you through the day without committing affray, then go with fucking god my child)
But your innocent ears are not yet ready for a transcribed version of the stream of creatively obscene Scottish invective that headline just caused me to utter.
I'd ask what kind of deranged, overprivileged fuckwit would say such utter drivel, but... well.. the photo is right there.
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I'll Be Your Sanctuary
(A starter for @frosthawkfantasy)
Laura sighed, she could feel her back aching as she sat down in the comfy armchair, taking the strain off her lower back. "So tired..." She sighed as she flicked through the post. "Bill, bill... Spam... Mo- She stopped when she saw the handwriting she hated as she held up the white envelope to Clint, looking even more tired out. "Mary mary, quite contrary..." Laura sighed, the handwriting of her mother tended to fill her with dread. Grabbing the butterknife, she opened the letter and began reading. "God help us..." She moaned. "She wants to visit the grandchildren, since for some odd reason I won't let them be alone with her." Referencing Cooper and Lila, she stood, anger flashing in her eyes. "Can't be anything to do with her appalling treatment of me." She tutted, pushing buttons on the coffee maker, stabbing them with her long nails as if it had personally wronged her. "Any chance one of the Avengers can knock some sense to her? It might be very theraputic if Thor struck their house with lightning for me." She offered with a slight smile.
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