#god. not even getting into how heinous it is to make the conflict into a tv show plot

[umi-iro]

absolutely sickening the level of pro Israel propaganda in mainstream media

[on-a-lucky-tide]

Fic idea that I am feral about right now because Wayward Son played on my walk this morning.

cw: Nikprice, alternative universe, mentions of torture, canon-typical violence, mention of internalised homophobia, Supernatural influences (sorry).

So, my partner commented on how Nikolai is like Price's guardian angel, because he always seems to be there when Price needs him (including when Price explicitly says it's a "one way trip"; Nik finds a way).

I laughed at the time, then promptly got headshot and threw the controller down, but wait.

What if he... is.

Sergeant Price dies in an Al Qaeda prison cell. They torture him for days, pushing his body into shock and then eventually into organ failure. Even with all the training, there's only so much a human body can take. Because he has done some pretty heinous shit already by this point, obviously his soul has a one-way ticket to the hot place and it ain't Mallorca.

But he has a fan.

An angel that has been watching him for a while. Price comes from a Protestant family, and he used to pray almost every night for god to make him "normal". To take away the unnatural feelings he had. To help him make his family proud. The angel used to listen and want to intervene, to tell him he's perfect the way he is, but there are rules.

After the... incident, Price stopped praying. (For those that know my headcanon, it's that, but I won't go into it here cause it would need a whole plethora of tags.)

The angel noticed.

In fact, he (we're going with that because it's Nik, but we all know angels are a... they? it?) misses the sound of Price's voice. He heads down to find out what happened and ends up visiting Price as he joins the service, becomes the very best, works hard, but always carries that deep sadness. He commits himself to getting dirty so others don't have to. Knowingly, given his faith, putting his soul on the line. The angel falls in love with Price, body and soul.

When Price dies, the angel can't stand the idea that someone who sacrificed for others is condemned to hell, simply because of what he had to do. So, he rebels. His last act before he is cast out is to wrench Price from hell and deposit him back into his body, and his first act on earth as one of the Fallen is to occupy the body of a lost and conflicted Russian Pilot, pushing him to accept the enticement of the US and the UK so Nik can reach Price. The guy has all but given up on life, so it's a mercy, really.

Price wakes up in an open mass grave and scrambles over to the corpses to safety. He doesn't know how or why, but he doesn't pause to think. He finds a radio, manages to get a message out, steals some weapons and some intel, blows the place sky high. Gets a medal.

The medics on base give him a clean bill of health but for some bruising and a broken bone or two. It's a bloody miracle.

A few weeks later, Price meets Nik for the first time because he's been drafted in as a pilot, and, for some reason, feels like he's known him for a lifetime. Nik thinks Price is the most beautiful thing in this world and the next, and wants to spend another few billion years looking into those blue-blue eyes.

The angel doesn't know why. Perhaps it's because he's so human. So flawed, so broken, so grizzled. Price isn't the dark underbelly of humanity and he's not the glittering hero; he is the scrappy, stubborn, imperfect, beautiful reality of the human condition, without apology.

To Nik, he's perfect.

And just... the heartbreak, the fear, the yearning, as Price falls for this tall, dark Russian who is always there. Always looks at him like he's worth something. Battling with the internal conflict of what he wants and what he should want, and realising the only thing holding him back now is the ghost of a man who can't hurt him anymore.

The betrayal, the disbelief, as Nik is forced to reveal what he is. The apology, the love confession, from both sides. The god damned wing kink when Nik takes them in the wilderness, high enough so that Price can almost touch god as Nik makes love to him for the first time; great, dark wings wrapped around them as if they could shield Price from ever being harmed again.

Nik ties his soul, his being, to Price's mortality. They'll grow old together, they'll turn grey, and after a billion years the angel will die at his lover's side, knowing that wherever their souls might end up, they will be together.

[the-owl-tree]

I’m gonna try and make my point again but on anon bc worried of harassment if Certain People don’t agree.

the christofascist themes in warriors I’ve only been able to notice because they align pretty well with patterns I’ve noticed in my own life. clan life (and starclan) HAS to be the only way for cats. it has to be accepted willingly, or forced upon the “lesser” groups (see, atheist or simply non christian) or they will be destroyed in some way. chased off their own land, killed, assimilated, etc. the clan cats are colonists just like eropean christians. see, squirrelflight’s hope. why does no one challenge the clan’s ideas that they are entitled to land, any land, that would benefit them? even if other cats live there? because they aren’t christia- I mean clan cats so they’re lesser and their lives are expendable. see again, squirrel flight’s hope.

I know the conflict of that book that everyone remembers (other than the abuse apologists and kids who don’t understand) is bramblestar abusing squirrelflight for 464 pages (and then getting her sister killed but he’s a man so it’s okay), but the glaring problem is the author’s bias on people different from them. there was absolutely no reason the only cat loudly protesting the slaughter of expecting mothers and children was the protagonist. and she was treated as though she were in the wrong, and punished over and over again in this book alone. remember they hate squirrelstar and her ideals. heinous, genuinely. and there wasn’t even a good resolution to that! moonlight died! the sisters had to leave! and then helped them in the next arc! what the fuck! anyway

one will note how christians are known to refer to non christians as “wicked” “evil” “dark” “lost” or other terms to make it pretty clear they think less of you for not sharing their faith. the clans the same. even through uncontrollable circumstances such as birth you are shamed in this society and downright humiliated on a good day, attempted murder on a bad one (stormpaw, featherpaw and stonefur)

and the victim mentality the clans have along with the paranoia that they are constantly at risk of being wiped out despite there being like 30 cats in their fucking colonies at all times. there is always a war on christianity. there is always a fight the clans have to win to survive. they always have to kill someone else, lately someone minding their business, to survive. they have to impose themselves on other cultures because they are the True way of life and they never have to be confronted with the idea that they are just as flawed if not more than their counterparts. and if they are, conveniently their opposition is killed off or written to submit later on proving them right. I will not include bloodclan and the kin in this because they were legitimate threats, even if in a way they were also caused by clan culture.

the most glaringly obvious example of why I believe warriors and christofascism overlap outside of the need to force themselves on everyone, is the inability to question anything without severe punishment. you cannot question god without threat of eternal damnation or being ostracized from peers and even attacked. you cannot question starclan without threat of eternal damnation and the same. even when there is no logical solution but to admit that they’re wrong and cruel and just as petty and dangerous as the dark forest, in the end the lesson is that you should listen to starclan, never doubt, never question, or you will be punished. and there is no hope for redemption even if you offer yourself to be used.

that is the issue I have. and it’s a very obvious one that I’m sure I’m not the only one who says something about it, but depending on where you live, I live in southern america, it’s not hard to see parallels. do I think it will ever escalate to the severity of reality? no. probably not ever. but the fact that I can see it is what worries me.

again not very well written, and I even got anxious towards the end so my apologies if it’s hard to follow or too sloppy! just wanted to share my thoughts even if people don’t agree.

This is really interesting, thanks for sharing!! I thought it was pretty illuminating, as I'm someone who's never heard of the term Christofascism. I don't know enough about Christian discourses or the subject at hand to commentate too much unfortunately, but I really appreciate your taking the time to write this out for me. If you're interested in expanding this further, I'd actually recommend looking into some texts on decolonization, as a lot of what you wrote hit on points similar to that (in my opinion of course).

I'm not really the best person to asks for texts like that so I'm gonna link you to communistkenobi's reading recommendations on the subject.

edit: missed it so thank you to cicadaclan for pointing this out but i'd argue against the separation of bloodclan and the kin in this. bloodclan are literally written to be godless outsiders who hate families. the kin are the continuation of the evil outsider intent on destroying the clans. the kin, whether or not they were a threat, still fall into the evil outsider trope.

[sage-nebula]

Look man, there's nothing wrong with disliking someone's writing. Sometimes a writer's style or content is just not for you, and that's okay! It's okay even when the writer is super popular. For instance, I myself am not a fan of Tolkien or Neil Gaiman. Tokien takes way too long to get to the point for me, and at least in American Gods, Gaiman just used too many metaphors in quick succession, which made me feel the writing was pretentious to its detriment. It was Pratchett's style that made me love Good Omens, not Gaiman's.

Of course, that's not to say these men were / are bad writers! They're wildly beloved for a reason, after all. It's just to say their styles aren't for me. This happens sometimes. It's okay.

So when it comes to Sonic writer Ian Flynn, not everyone has to like his work. Heck, there are things he's written that I myself don't care for, such as:

The House of Cards arc in Archie

Sonic not correcting Kit when Kit called him "sir" in IDW

How the conflict between Tangle and Whisper was resolved in #58

Belle somehow knowing who Surge and Kit were despite Metal Sonic not knowing that

No writer on this planet is perfect, and that includes Ian Flynn. Good faith criticism of his work is natural, and from what I've heard on the Bumblekast (and I've listened to a good number of episodes at this point) he takes good faith criticism very well.

You'll notice, though, that I said good faith criticism. There is a difference between good faith criticism, and bad faith attacks. Here are some examples of each:

Good Faith Criticism:

I feel that [character] was written out of character in [thing] when you consider recent characterization in other things (with emphasis on recent; games that came out 16 years ago may no longer align with Sega's view of the character)

I think that the writing was a little sloppy here for the sake of speeding the plot along

I don't enjoy this plot arc because of the pacing / the themes / the characters being focused on

These are good faith criticisms because they don't attack the person or people who created the work; they make sure to note that this is personal opinion / preference on behalf of the critic; and they're grounded in reality, rather than conspiracy.

Bad Faith Criticism:

The writer on this licensed product HATES the IP and HATES these characters and wants to make them something totally different

All of the writers on staff are LYING when they say the company that owns the license they are working on has rules they have to follow

The writers have an AGENDA they're pushing and that's the ONLY reason why they're working on this licensed product at all; if they say they're doing it for love of the series or work they are lying once again

These are bad faith criticisms because they attack the people who make the works directly; they contain baseless accusations as a form of defense against the idea that the parent company could be moving their mascot and characters in a new direction; and altogether they paint the writers as some sort of nefarious masterminds instead of what they actually are: people who are fallible.

And then of course, there is always something so unhinged it's even worse than the above:

Heinous Behavior:

I hope [writer] dies and I'll celebrate when they do!

This sort of behavior isn't even criticism. It's just heinous, and I shouldn't need to explain why. Disliking someone's work is fine. Talking about why you dislike the work is fine. Wishing death on someone because you dislike their work (or dislike that people enjoy their work) is deplorable behavior. When you are at this stage, you need to log off the internet and go sit alone in a quiet place to reflect upon your behavior. Also, if a children's comic (or discussions about a children's comic) is making you this deranged, perhaps consider seeking counseling, because this sort of reaction to a franchise about a blue hedgehog is not healthy.

Overall, there are healthy and unhealthy ways to engage with media. If a piece of media is making you seethe with rage to the point where other people enjoying it makes you think wishing death on an innocent person is okay, you should probably find another piece of media to engage with. It's not difficult to not read a comic or block fans whose opinons upset you. Actually, it's quite easy and I recommend it.

Be decent to each other. That's all anyone asks.

[starbuckaroo]

Sorry I know this is going around a lot rn but anyone who wants to say ANYTHING about bad parenting on this show and wants to talk about Eddie mf Diaz can eat a fucking dick UNLESS they can show me they’re not being hypocritical and can show me their posts that rip Athena apart. Fucking hell.

I will preface this by acknowledging that ofc there’s absolutely no way I can know what it’s like to be a black woman raising a black child. I never can. I do have some personal experience with raising a black boy in the US, though, so the episodes with Harry have always hit me really really hard, and usually because I always want to mcfucking scream at Athena for the way she allows her career indoctrination to harm her children.

Yeah my main gripe with this show always always boils down to “Athena quit your job” bc I can’t stand her anymore tbh. She would have stayed an interesting character IF at some point in s4-5 thereabouts she started to have doubts about the system and they did something interesting with that

OR

If they would allow the literal actual conflicts of interest to crop up and let her be a fucking antagonist. Let Bobby struggle with his ethical evaluation of a scene and his marital obligations. Let May struggle with learning and growing away from her childhood home and wrestle with what her mom continues to do. And let that storyline with Harry this season actually carry the fucking heavy and heinous weight that it truly has. It turns my stomach honestly like I had to stand up and walk away, and let me sister tell me when it was over so I could go sit back down.

But the apologism is what is so unforgivable. Like don’t get me wrong, I love the hell out of this show and it’s my full on hyperfixation and has been for years, but its top billed character has been nigh unwatchable for most of the last few seasons. The narrative trying to sell me that she’s one of the protagonists, that she doesn’t have to struggle meaningfully at all about what she does for a living or to her family, and I’m supposed to swallow that without protest? Nah. Can’t happen.

I liked her character a lot in the first three seasons tbh against my better judgment! I was expecting to hate her from day one but I was sold, actually. Michael leaving the show kind of tanked her character, I think, maybe. I think it was their dynamic that made her interesting at first, and then sympathetic later on when she really was trying to make their blended unconventional family work despite her upbringing. But honestly once Harry aged into teenagerdom and Michael left and May graduated it meant there was like…nothing left about Athena that was interesting except her job except that’s actually the worst part about her lmao woopsies.

Anyways. Let Athena be a villain or at least an antagonist. That would fix everything tbh. It would make her interesting again, it would be in character given how many ethical messes she’s caused or been party to, and would allow the show to keep doing their dumb copaganda shit that they’re almost certainly contractually obligated to shove in at least once per season. But it would finally be interesting because it wouldn’t feel like I was being asked to swallow bullshit covered in glitter spray. Maybe they could explore her toxic relationship with her mother and how engaging so heavily and perpetually with respectability politics has done damage to herself (and her parents and her ex husband and her children) over the years. Maybe her magical fairytale white lady boss at the precinct can actually act in character for once and pls god I would just like. I would sell a kidney for a real and honest Athena Quit Your Job plotline. Fuck. They could even take the coward’s way out like they did with Eddie’s military service and just have her quit for some random reason so ethics never actually has to be part of the conversation but neither would we have to deal with the copaganda all the time. You know Angela Bassett would act the fuck out of that kind of complicated character. It would be a real conflict instead of whatever contrived nonsense they’ve been putting on her this season.

Anyways this really fucking got away from me but I’m just not willing to hear a fucking WORD against single dad Eddie fucking Diaz unless the speaker has already done their bit about Athena and they’re just making their way through the line.

Except

I don’t actually want that bc We Know Why they’re saying that shit about Eddie and if they ever opened their mouth about Athena I don’t even really have to wonder about what sort of racist bullshit might fall out. Those aren’t the people I want attempting to critique Athena Grant. So actually yeah can everyone just shut the fuck up.

Myself included.

[nanomooselet]

#knives is so fascinating#i want to study him like a bug#the way he rationalizes everything will never cease to amaze me#and the thing is#i do believe he genuinely loves vash#doesn't excuse anything he does#but love can sometimes get all twisted and be used as a reason to justify heinous things#and i think knives definitely went down that path

@deludedfantasy

Figured I should address this in a new post actually. In short: YEAH.

There was a CRPG released in 2007 called Neverwinter Nights 2: Mask of the Betrayer.*

In Betrayer, almost every major conflict both in the main plot and for your party members is driven by love. You spend the whole game trying to untangle yourself from these conflicts. They extend into other worlds, the realm of the gods and even the afterlife.

One of my favourite lines (it's such a well-written game): Only love could be so cruel.

The god who says it is referring to romantic love, which turned his most favoured and devoted disciple against him and started a war... but I think he also refers to how he punished that disciple: by killing the woman he loved, stripping him of his memories/personhood, and condemning him to suffer in mindless agony until the end of time.

What makes me insane, and the reason I bring the game up in this context, is that Knives did something just like that to Vash under the sincere impression that it would make Vash... better, somehow?

I have to respect his powers of delusion, if nothing else.

* It was an expansion pack for the Forgotten Realms-based game Neverwinter Nights 2, which may have the most disastrous inverse ratio of time played:ending satisfaction I've ever experienced. But I got to play Betrayer after finishing it, so that was cool.

[badnikbreaker]

chatting about issue #56 ; obviously we’ve got some IDW spoilers incoming with that in mind.  this is mostly just my impressions and rambles about why i love these interactions so much; i’ll save actual headcanons and character examinations for a different post.

first, broad impressions of the chapter; i’m so happy with how sonic and surge interact here.  i think, broadly speaking, evan does a more consistent job at hitting on the sonic characterization that i tend to love than ian (  ian often gets it right also!  just he has more misses for me personally  ) so it’s nice to see him back in her hands.  i love that sonic isn’t monologuing at surge, that he’s sincere in his desire to communicate with her as a person — he’s not just talking down at her with zero interest in understanding or connecting or minimizing her to some random angst - bucket, and the timing works out to justify it in - universe as “oh now that i realize you had your freedom and autonomy ripped away because of me, the guy who values freedom and autonomy above all else, i am Going to communicate with you differently.”

one of my biggest issues (  aside from the monologuing  ) in their first interaction was that sonic was speaking to her as if she was just stupid, missing an obvious and easy out of her situation, as if it was that easy for someone who’s been traumatized and programmed to be this — which makes sense for sonic as a character, he doesn’t know the backstory!  but the narrative almost seemed to think he was right, that surge was just being an idiot rather than the result of heinous trauma.  (  it’s especially irritating because the cover for that issue leaned into the sonic - as - the - villain - thing, and it would have been cool to see the narrative itself commit to that view.  sonic being — accidentally, obviously — the villain to surge’s story is so fun, and i wish they’d have let that be the reality instead of trying to frame him as being In The Right early on.  god i could write paragraphs on this alone.  )

i appreciate that in this issue, it feels like both of them are being treated with more respect — sonic’s talking to her like a person, really trying to reach her, and surge’s pain remains sympathetic, and she gets to explain that it’s not that easy.  sonic even acknowledges, sort of, with his “we got off on the wrong foot” that he was a dick to her at first.  i especially love that kit at the end, in his little monologue, isn’t even wrong — sonic does want to change them into what he thinks is right!  obviously it’s a much more benign version of what starline and eggman did / want to do to them, but it doesn’t change the fact that absolutely no one has ever just needed or cared for surge and kit as they are; starline completely erased and rewrote them, and sonic has, throughout his interactions with surge and kit, definitely given the impression that they’ll only be ‘okay’ once they stop being so broken.  obviously not his intention, and he’s also right — they can’t keep causing problems and risking lives! — but it has to sting for people who’ve been through what they have.  i love that the conflict here isn’t “one person is obviously right and one person is obviously wrong” but “everyone is right, everyone is communicating honestly, but because of traumas and mismatched moral codes, these people simply can’t reach and understanding.”  that is, to me, so much more interesting.

obviously, if i had to, i could take a red pen and find things i’d change, but overall i really am just delighted by this issue.

also lmao @ all the people absolutely chomping at the bit for surge to get her shit kicked in by metal and sonic.  how’d that work out for u.  huh.  whacking him wednesdays

[ultraericthered]

Anime Update V2 Last Post

Vinland Saga S2 - None this time. The second half of this second season will begin for me next year.

Hunter x Hunter - It was Spiders VS Ants in the two episodes I saw recently. That's right, the Phantom Troupe returned and this time they actually got up to some good, fighting against an invasion force of Chimera Ants that were besieging a city and taking its population before Zazan, the would-be new queen, who does one of the most disturbing, absolutely heinous things I've seen done in this entire series by twisting these poor people into inhuman slaves forced to fight for her in their constant agonized state of Body Horror. I was rooting for the Spiders to take her and her underlings out, and seeing her true form be so hideous and creaturesque came as no surprise. Also felt for Kalluto as she starts fearing she might be out of her depth with this group, and the way they kill all the enslaved people after making them fight them to the death, to ensure they die like men rather than animals, was surprisingly moving and decent of them. In dire situations, even the bad guys can be the good guys!

Fate/Stay Night: Unlimited Blade Works - So Saber has taken a new vow and is now technically Rin's servant, but that doesn't much matter when, after a trippy confrontation within the Unlimited Blade Works dimension, Archer abduts Rin and holds her hostage for both Saber and Shirou to fight to retrieve. Shirou arranges a meeting with him at Illya's villa, so that's where Archer decides he'll hold his former master. It also turns out Rin has become well aware of Archer's past, and which heroic spirit he really is, in a way that pretty much spells it out for us but without the name actually being spoken. And then Shinji and Gilgamesh show up, looking to have Rin for their own needs, and Archer agrees to let them have her only once Saber and Shirou are dead. As Saber and Shirou make their way to the villa, they're joined by Lancer, still on their side and wanting to save Rin.

Symphogear AXZ - Finished the season with its last three episodes and yeah, this one really was not as strong as the previous ones. The weird shit that happened pushed the boundaries even for this series (Adam's an android? Gungnir is a "God-slayer" that can absorb Divine Power? Hibiki turns into a cocoon? Saint-Germain's fellow alchemist friends didn't fully die only to then die for real along with her in a big heroic sacrifice? The sacrifice happens at all because fucking America launches a goddamn nuclear missle?), but that itself really was not a big problem. I could still roll with it and enjoy the show. The actual problem is, well, just look at the Wikipedia summary for the last episode of AXZ and its length compared to literally any episode of the series ever. It feels to me like the main conflict of this season was more simple and low-key in execution than what came before, so then the really complicated stuff all had to get shoved into these very last episodes, which leaves this season feeling very notably imbalanced. Hopefully, XV will fare better.

Eureka Seven - With Eureka having fallen ill and her body turned to putty, Holland goes out to find a preist who could use spiritual arts to help in her recovery, but only after making "it's for the money/for me and the crew" excuse rather than being open about how much he cares about Eureka, leading to him and Renton coming to blows yet again and more despicable abuse of an actual child by the belligerent manchild. Renton's own efforts to help out in the Nirvash end up going catastrophically wrong for him (he has to take human life in a very gruesome manner and take an actual good look at what the consequences of being a soldier look like), and the show briefly turns into Evangelion again, complete with Renton screaming his lungs out in a very Shinji-esque fashion. This traumatic experience put on top of Holland's abuse of him and how unable he feels able to really connect with Eureka and the Nirvash no matter how much he wants to, leads to Renton deciding he's had enough and is calling quits on working with Gekko State. So while Dewey is recruiting some old acquaintances of his - a mercenary pair (that's also a married couple) - for his efforts to crush Gekko State, Renton is wandering, all alone.

And with that, I close the lid on 2023 and can look forward to my third and final rebranding of these posts once the new year's come!

[autisticandroids]

yknow those episodes where a character's whole personality gets split into 3-5 different distinct separate bodies? what bodies would cas have? I feel like it'd just be a mess tbh, imagine 5 different castiels all of them loving dean to a certain extent but showing it VASTLY differently. one cas would literally want to murder the others lmao

okay so i don’t actually think this trope would be an effective tool for analyzing cas? he’s not conflicted enough in himself. he’s too impulsive, too singleminded, too uninhibited. like, in the end, cas always ends up doing whatever he wants. there aren’t multiple discrete voices vying for control, really, or rather, if there are, one is always significantly stronger than the others. like in the end cas will always end up eating raw meat off the floor, you know? he’ll do what he wants. if i was going to do personality splitting i’d do it to someone intensely internally conflicted, like dean.

however, because i’m in an essay writing mood today, i’ll answer a question slightly to the left of the one you asked. cas may not be internally conflicted, but he is intensely changeable. these two things are related, actually; the same impulsivity and singlemindedness that mean he doesn’t have a ton of internal conflict at any given time mean that different ideas sound good to him at different times, because he isn’t really thinking about, say, what future-him will think of them. and he’s not really trying to maintain an image or identity. he’s just doing what feels right at the time, which is very different at different times and in different situations.

anyway, that in mind, i think a lot about ways to bring together many alternate versions of cas which sort of correspond to different times in the show.

i have a fic in my head about a bunch of cas-es pulled from alternate timelines by some kind of spell. so this would be set during the widower arc because the basic impulse here is to show dean a very bad time. just absolutely put him through hell. also, all the alternate timelines are different because different stuff happened, not because cas made different choices, because if we’re torturing dean it has to be like 5x04, the changes in cas can’t be cas’ fault. they have to be dean’s or just like, the universe’s (which makes them dean’s).

so dean is trying to bring cas back, and he finds some kind of spell that can bring someone “from another world.” and he tries it because hey. can’t hurt to try. anyway i’ve thought a long time about different versions of cas i would put in this and here is what i have. in order of when the timeline split off.

- a cas who never raised dean from hell. think 14x13 “lebanon.” this one i’m not too sure about, like, this could be fun, but i don’t know if it’s different enough from the next one. like this castiel would have lived through the averted apocalypse and subsequent general fuckery that happened as an angelic footsoldier, which would actually be pretty interesting now that i think about it, especially since all that stuff would have gone down soooooooo differently without cas specifically for your average angel footsoldier. like cas has PERSONALLY caused more upheaval in heaven in twelve years of spn than there seems to have been in millennia. so he would be the point of view of a normal footsoldier from a totally other world.

- a cas who died mid season four, and is pulled out of the empty in 2017 by this spell. i’m not sure when this cas died. my thoughts are (1) killed in on the head of a pin by alistair, (2) killed during his torture in the rapture, or (3) simply never resurrected after lucifer rising. (3) makes the most sense, but that cas has already thrown away everything for dean. i prefer the idea of a cas who loves dean, is already on the brink of disobedience for him, but has not yet taken the plunge. both on the head of a pin and the rapture are great places for this, and they both have strengths and weaknesses. if he died in the rapture, he was killed by heaven, which is fundamentally more fun, but he was also really very much over the edge already. if he died in on the head of a pin, he wasn’t killed by heaven, but he is perfectly teetering on the brink of falling for dean. regardless of when he died, the purpose of this cas is to be horrified at all the various and myriad ways he has destroyed and corrupted himself for dean in the other timelines.

- possibly endverse cas, who would have died in 2014, but like s4 cas, would have been pulled from the afterlife by the spell. i’m not so sure on this one. we as a society love endverse cas but i dunno what purpose he would serve. maybe endverse cas didn’t die in 2014, and instead was imprisoned by lucifer, because, you know. he’s the only brother lucifer has left. so he is very excited to see dean alive and well, since his dean is dead, and, not being an angel, cas can’t bring him back. the purpose of this cas would be to horrify dean that cas loves him and needs him so much, and to disgust the other cas-es with his neediness.

- a cas who was in some way on better terms with dean during s6. maybe dean and cas ride off into the sunset together after swan song instead of dean going to live with lisa, maybe dean prayed to cas while he was with lisa because he missed him, who knows. either way, cas has dean’s help with the angel revolution in season six from the start, and never goes to crowley. the plan cas and dean come up with to beat raphael includes breaking into the cage and stealing the grace of michael and lucifer, freeing sam and adam in the process. incidentally, it also involves cas possessing dean, because if cas is gonna eat archangel grace to become more powerful, he’s going to need a stronger vessel. so cas and dean have a whole like. midam situation happening. they’re a double archangel together, and godstiel never happened so none of the other terrible apocalypses that stemmed from that happened, and everything is pretty cool where they’re from, and also they’re obviously uhhhhhh SOME kind of together. the purpose of this cas is to upset dean because this cas shows how much better everything could have been and how much better his and cas’ relationship could have been if dean had simply been more considerate of cas in s6, and also freak dean out with how uh. close. this dean and cas are.

- a godstiel who managed to swallow purgatory without swallowing the leviathans and remained god. he’s probably soooomewhat less scary and murdery than canonverse godstiel because no leviathans, so you know, not as many angel purges or massacres on earth. and he probably went and fixed sam’s wall within about three days because cas is prideful but he does NOT like it when dean is mad at him. so they did kiss and make up, and so this cas would have had dean to act as his morality chain. but he’s still very scary and godstiel. and also he refers to dean as “The Beloved” you know. his purpose is to freak everyone out, because he’s scary, but also, for the past cas-es, because he is a terrifying abomination that they could never imagine becoming, for the future cas-es, because he is a reminder of their worst selves, and for dean, because he is a reminder of how dangerous cas is, but also because he uh. obviously has some feelings about his dean. unclear if they are consummated or not.

- a cas who naomi never rescued from purgatory, and who stayed there. hasn't spoken to another being in half a decade, has not recovered from his emotionally destroyed state in purgatory in s8. believes at first that the spell is his dean rescuing him, and is crushed when he realizes he was wrong. like endverse cas, his purpose is to show dean how much cas needs him and depends on him emotionally, and how he (dean) is capable of destroying cas, as well as his guilt for leaving him in purgatory and how lucky he is that his cas got out. this is especially noteworthy since the guilt for leaving cas in purgatory is part of the reason dean is trying to get cas back.

- a cas who stayed human after season nine, and has built himself a small human life over the next four years. he has a job and an apartment and friends outside the winchesters and yes, he still goes hunting after work sometimes, and he's still in contact with dean, but he is also independent in a way no other version of cas has ever been. he exists to freak out dean because dean has never seen cas independent of him. he is also fairly bitter at dean since dean did kind of stop spending time with him when he was no longer useful, and our dean feels guilty for that.

- a cas who showed up twenty minutes later in 10x03, finding sam dead and dean gone, and had to chase down demon dean, and has now spent three years following demon dean around as his tragically adoring stalker, because he hasn't found a way to resurrect sam yet and he doesn't want to put dean through the demon cure until he can save sam because he doesn't want dean to experience that guilt, but he also adores dean and wants to keep an eye on him and keep him safe and also keep him from doing anything too heinous, so he just covertly follows him around the country and watches from a distance as he commits various murders and fucks his way through every local bar scene. and occasionally cas finds dean something to kill, when the mark gets hungry, and drops it in his path. his purpose is to freak dean out with the lengths cas would go for him, and the depths cas would sink to.

anyway. lebanon cas and season four cas are horrified and perhaps disgusted (lebanon cas more than s4 cas) by ALL of the later cas-es, and how far they’re fallen, all of it for dean. godstiel and archangel cas being abominations, endverse cas and s9 cas being fallen, even purgatory cas and demon dean’s cas for their total dependence on dean.

purgatory cas and endverse cas are just happy to see a dean, even if it’s not their dean. demon dean’s cas, too, in a way. he’s happy to see a dean who is still human, who he can still have as a friend.

human cas is pissed to see that he was right, that dean would have stuck by him if he’d still had his powers, that this version of dean is doing spells to try and bring his cas, who is still an angel, back, whereas he and his dean only see each other once every couple months.

everyone is terrified and disgusted by godstiel, as i said before.

they’re mostly kind of thrown by archangel cas. a lot of them are jealous. godstiel is furious because how dare anyone, even an alternate version of himself, take dean as a vessel (even if dean likes it). godstiel isn’t really there, though, he resisted the summoning and just sort of popped his head through to see what was going on, and he goes back to his own reality pretty fast without murdering anyone.

also to be clear dean has not at this point examined or acknowledged any feelings he may have about his cas besides “friendship,” nor has he wondered what feelings his cas may have for him. given how many of the cas-es were clearly in some kind of relationship with their dean (endverse cas, archangel cas) or just openly in love with their dean (godstiel, purgatory cas, demon dean’s cas), dean is forced to reevaluate the nature of his and cas’ relationship.

[nabrizoya]

honestly would LOVE to hear your thoughts on the nikolai duology because i really only see blanket praise or blanket hate for it whereas I see a lot of wasted potential. Bardugo's actual writing was beautiful as ever for the most part, but the choice of the plot/beats feels baffling to me. I love Nina, but her parts felt so separate from the rest of the book until the very end, and even that felt off. I liked the first 2/3 of KoS enough, dealing with the monster, political tensions, 1/2

and even the cult of the starless saint was at least interesting because dealing with people trying to rewrite the narrative of their greatest enemy (who hurt these young leaders in deeply PERSONAL ways) was really compelling (making him literally come back was. a choice) but I feel like somewhere in the last third, KoS went in a wholly differeent direction, and RoW has this vibe of feeling like she definitely wrote it after reading the show scripts or even seeing some footage. idk. 2/2

I will try to be brief (1/12)

Hey anon! Thank you so much for asking this even though it took 38756588247834 years to answer this I’m so sorry !! The Nikolai duology was good—wonderful too maybe because of the myriad of themes and topics it discussed and explored, all in addition to how beloved these characters are. For me, it’s the end of KoS as it is for you, and the entirety of RoW in particular that irk me the most.

I have very little issue with KoS, and I agree with everything you’ve said. The political tensions, the sort of urgency in trying to secure a country at the cost of personal reservations, preparing for a war that seems unforgivably near the door, etc. was all thrilling. After all, it is the first installment in the duology, and it’s supposed to set the course for the upcoming books.

KoS managed to introduce the stakes and the circumstances, lay the rails for what the characters will face and what it might mean to a vast set of entities connected to the events. And it’s hardly out of sense to expect Rule of Wolves to pick up where the previous book left off and carry forward the themes and plot points introduced in the first book.

Except, RoW failed spectacularly in that aspect.

Rule of Wolves: the second book, and the supposed finale to the Grishaverse and the Nikolai duology; it fails to continue the other number of threads that KoS set up for it, effectively compromising the characters, their characterizations, the themes and other political tensions and stakes. The due importance that should be given to the heavy set of topics that get brought up in the povs are not through, nor are the small details that Leigh added to the conversations evolve into something worth talking about, which are the actual points that could have been given some more page time to explore than just making them facts or points of nostalgia for the characters.

If you take a step back and analyze the whole timeline, events, characterization, objectives of the arcs and the plot points etc. etc., all the way from Crooked Kingdom to Rule of Wolves, there’s so much that is left out and tied in, quite haphazardly, which leads me to believe that Leigh wanted to attempt writing a duology that is more plot-driven than it is character driven. And we know that Leigh writes character driven stories brilliantly, and SoC, CK and TLoT are testament to the same. Heck, even TGT has more consistency than whatever TND has.

So, objectively? Plot possibilities? Characterization? Potential? Personal goals? Addressing the very serious themes it brought up, in little or major light, but give no proper elaboration about them?

The lost potential readily compromised the characterizations of many characters, and it all amounted to their arcs being very underwhelming.

I’m dividing this into four parts and here’s the basic outline.

Writing and Plotting

The Plot, Possibilities and Potential.

Characters, Characterization, Character Potential.

Remedy (what I think would've worked better to tie this all up)

This can get very looong, so be forewarned.

I. Writing & Plotting

Now, Leigh Bardugo’s writing is exceptional, no doubt. The sentences are short and flowy, and convey the tone, psyche, environment and the setting and its effects on the pov character marvellously. It's also immersive. It’s the same in Rule of Wolves, except, a little or a lot weaker.

The two main parts of this is that one, that Leigh slightly overdid showing a lot more than telling, and two, that the RoW (and perhaps KoS too), was more plot driven than character driven, the latter of which is actually Leigh’s strength.

In Rule of Wolves, Leigh’s writing seemed very choppy and snappish. The descriptions were lacking, or maybe that’s just me wishing for more internal conflict and dilemma, and going back and forth in one's own head for a bit. It felt like she showed more than she told.

Example being how Zoya ‘snaps’, ‘drawls’, ‘scoffs’, or ‘scowls’ less, and even if that’s supposed to be show Zoya beginning to be a little less unpleasant than she usually is, the tone in those chapters was not strong enough to distinguish how and why the character was acting a certain way. Nor pinpoint an explanation on what brought that change about. (And there were many instances like this with many other characters), which resulted in the characters themselves feeling so off to me.

Leigh’s characters are important to the story. They carry tremendous weight and actively contribute to the plot. Except, by focusing a lot more on the plot, some parts of these characters’ relevance was not up to the mark. It is greatly due to how weak the plotting and pacing of the book was, tbh, more than just her writing.

Consider: Mayu Kir Kaat. She is integral to the story, but she is thrust into responsibilities, and that doesn’t give us much time to see her as a person, and then as a person with a duty, like we see with most other characters. Whatever parts of her we did see were very circumstantial and timed, which is probably the reason why not many we’re unable to appreciate Mayu as much as we should. (Maybe fandom racism also plays a part, so, well,,,).

Like, we know from Six of Crows and with The Language of Thorns, how great care went into describing the characters’ state of mind, which further heavily influenced their choices and decisions. This time though, I think she wanted it to be more plot driven, hence the whole crowded feeling of the book and general worry about oh my god too much is happening, how will all this be solved and all that.

And this, I think, greatly hampered Leigh's writing, leading to unsettling and rather unsatisfying character arcs. Not to mention that there was quite little space given for the characters to develop or let them grow in a satisfying way which touches on most of the elements and themes that get brought up with regard to their powers and potential,,, and when it was indeed brought up, it was all in vain since they were never followed through.

That's one of the biggest problems for me in RoW: Plot points brought up in KoS were not brought forward in RoW.

II. The Plot, Possibilities and Potential.

Phew. Truly buckle up because this train has too many coaches. And to discuss them all, let’s keep the starting point as Crooked Kingdom.

a) Parem

Now, by the end of Crooked Kingdom, we know some important things about the parem.

It's dangerous asf for the Grisha who have to sacrifice their will and capabilities for a short time superpower high that they didn’t even ask for

Which means they are more often than not forced to consume the drug

Shu Han is the creator of the Parem and are also creating a new kind of soldiers called Khergud (who additionally require Ruthenium, but we’ll talk abt that later)

Fjerda snatched the formula after kidnapping Bo Yul-Bayur, keeping him away in the Ice Court and in their possession, and used the Parem to further their own heedlessly heinous agenda

I think it’s easy to understand how KoS started off on the right track, considering that Kuwei Yul Bo is mentioned, the antidote and jurda is brought up and so come the political tensions alongside it (what with the impending war, the demon, the lack of funds in the coffers and security and peace for the country alongside safety for the Grisha).

The point is, parem is a character of its own. CK was its inception, and its fate was decreed along with its lifespan and its doom. Ideally, by the end of RoW, parem should have been vanquished while addressing its nature as a deadly drug, the addiction and aftermath, and the key person who will guide the plot: Kuwei Yul Bo.

Parem is a political tool that pitted countries against each other, making one another their allies or enemies. (Though parem is not the only one factor). Ravka doesn’t yet know about Kerch’s neutrality. The Shu made their move to assassinate in the end, just as Fjerda cleared the air about their goals.

Point is, parem is weapon, a new kind of warfare that keeps getting alluded to in KoS. The first book gave a glimpse of how the Shu and Fjerda are using parem, thereby exploiting, prejudicing etc. the Grisha in their countries. Khergud whose humanity is washed away with parem + ruthenium, and the Fjerdan Grisha (are targeted) drugged and exploited while be subjected to torture, training and imminent death, parametres of these outcomes being severely gendered.

Ravka too wanted to weaponize it and create a usable strain that would still give the Grisha their powers but at a minimal cost, until Nikolai’s conversation with Grigori convinces him out of it and to use only the antidote for the Grisha.

And when are the contents of this conversation brought up again?

Never.

Another aspect of parem (that the conversation also covers) is this: that what was once merzost, parem is its strange cousin. Parem parallels breaking the bounds of Grisha norms unnaturally, while merzost takes it a step further to break the bounds of nature itself, which comes with a heavy price. They're both the same with little differences. Amplifiers are in tune with this discussion, hence the conversation between Zoya and Nikolai about how, and whether or not the abomination in him, the parem, and the amplifiers are tied together. This gets brought up again in the conversation with Grigori.

Parem parallels the superpowers, something that Zoya too manages to achieve once the corruption of the amplifier business is resolved, which makes her realize how in tune with nature the Grisha must be, and how limited the Grisha powers until then had been. And why the amplifiers were a corrupted piece of magic.

Zoya was supposed to be the conduit in that sense that she reversed the Grisha norms and understood the importance and nature of small science. This is alongisde parem getting abolished or resolved in the least, be given a redressal.

Yet instead in RoW, we barely see any of Zoya’s powers, nor even her experimentation and hunger for power which would give her protection. We don't see how she begins to realize that while power was indeed protection, it was also a responsibility. Not clearly, anyway.

So like, not only is this entire discussion thrown away in Rule of Wolves, but no matters are resolved either. Parem did not reach its end like it was supposed to. Merzost with regard to parem would have been an excellent thing to address, with or without the Darkling being present, because the blight is there. But that doesn’t happen.

What happens instead? We get one chapter of Grisha getting the antidote during the face off at the start of the book, the women in Fjerda are not brought up again and instead we jump to Shu Han. Kuwei is also conveniently forgotten because hey, the Zemeni are here so it’s all sorted!

RoW could have (should have actually) sought to address both the political and medical (?) aftermath and implications. Maybe it did succeed in showing the political side of it, with regard to Mayu, Ehri, Makhi and Tamar’s storylines. But that’s only in Shu Han, whose state of affairs we had NO idea of until RoW. No idea, so much that it was completely out of the blue.

And what we did know (get to know about in KoS) is Fjerda and the affairs there remained… unsolved.

(...sorry).

b) Grisha Powers

Re: From the conversation between Nikolai and Grigori, and Juris and Zoya, about how parem and the amplifiers are parallel to each other in terms of being abominations, a corruption of Grisha powers. Now the theory of it is not entirely explained, but we do know that the parem and whatever Zoya learnt from Juris was meant to move along in the same direction.

But we don't see another mention of it, except maybe we could dig a little deeper and realize that it all adds up because Zoya is the Grisha Queen of Ravka, Summoner, Soldier, Saint, all of it rushed and unnecessarily magical in a war so dire and realistic in RoW.

Welp.

c) Spy business

Just… genuinely what even was Nina up to in RoW? A spy, sure, but only to garner information on the pretender?

Why couldn’t there have been two responsibilities for her to uncover: the lies or truths about the pretender while the Apparat causes hindrances, and Nina trying to seek out more documents of the locations and labs where the Grisha women are being tormented and the other Grisha being weaponized? It could have been a leverage to discredit Fjerda in front of everybody in the Os Kervo scene. Imagine if Nina whipped out the documents of Grisha labs and brought the truth of the exploitation and killing and kidnapping etc. in front of the convention of all nations. All of it together would have upped the political tensions by quite the notch.

Even then, there’s a possibility that it wouldn’t matter either because the Grisha aren’t exactly valuable to all the nations. But killing and exploiting is still wrong so maybe it might have worked? Or see, even if it wouldn’t have, the slow and sluggish realization of Mila’s identity by Brum, and alongside writing it as a tragedy where Nina’s efforts seem to have gone to waste, or where Nina is telling Zoya about not accounting for Prince Rasmus’ word and she informs her about the documents she has snatched? Something could have been done here?

The point is, KoS focused on Fjerda and its unraveling, and it wasn’t continued with and through in Rule of Wolves. Instead it sought to find the problem in a whole new country, Shu Han, and fixed it within the same book leaving the other country as it is.

d) Ruthenium and the Blight

Ruthenium, the metal that is an alloy of regular metal and Grisha made steel, could have been utilized more significantly in the books.

I mention it in association with the blight because while on one hand it is true that the blight is an area full of nothingness, ruthenium as a metal could have been utilized to show the effects of rushed industrialization that is leading to the ground losing its essence. This is supposed to be advanced warfare after all. Besides, Makhi loses someone very dear to her. Perhaps ruthenium is more dangerous in Shu Han because the Shu use it to create the khergud, so the constant manufacturing of it has been leading to the metal leeching the lands of their fertility, along with the blight.

And so also to broker peace, Ravka could have provided aid in some ways. :

1) The Darkling sacrificed himself, as a result of which the blight vanishes. While the blight took away her niece, the possibility of a blight persisting despite the ending of RoW could be attributed to ruthenium.

2) Ravka could provide the reversing effect to the alloy of ruthenium and metal using Grisha and otkazt’sya engineering and ingenuity to replenish the lands.

All in addition to whatever will be Shu Han’s policies to bring lushness to their lands.

e) Women and War:

Holy fucking Shit, where do I start with this?

Whatever we saw in Fjerda was haunting, and we see it from Nina’s chapters. There’s literally no resolution for it, nor is it ever brought up again, at all. In Zoya’s chapters, we see through her eyes the brunt that Grisha faced with the war, and in a country that has refused to recognize Grisha as the citizens and considers them expendable.

Add to it her own narrative of how the women are never mentioned, let alone the ones that she has lost or has known to suffer, at the hands of the war, at the Darkling's torture and powers. The description of these women suffering, often being forgotten and thrown aside as mere casualties… where or when was it ever going to be brought up again?

Like, switching between such horrifying things happening in Fjerda to whatever was happening with Zoya and Nikolai and Isaak is such a contrast, horrifyingly demeaning and insulting, even more so when it failed to align with the importance of parem and offer a solution to both these problems.

Now switch to Rule of Wolves, where the Tavgahard women immolate themselves on Queen Makhi’s orders. Not only is that such a cheap and insensitive thing to do, it gets treated a simple fucking plot point in the book, and it barely gets addressed afterwards. Women in Asia have a vastly complex and complicated history with fire, and this is a serious criticism that culturally affects readers in personal ways. And what gets done about it? Fine, Zoya feels baaaad, sorry oops why would the women do that?!?!?

Where is the adequate sensitivity to the topic? Where is the continuation of the pain Zoya feels for many people, despite them being the enemy? How does she honour them? Where is all that dilemma and pain? Why does she not think of them or just get a line or two to talk about them?

Where is the due importance for this suffering given? Structurally and culturally?

f) Soldier, Summoner, Saint / Yaromir the Great

We never really get any explanation for why Zoya deserves to be the Queen, and why she is the best. But we do get to see why Nikolai isn’t the one supposed to be on the throne, and it’s not just because of his parentage but also because of his failings and doubts and the need for acceptance with the secrets he carried.

Here's the thing though; it’s not just about her showing mercy. It’s very subtle, and in good sense, should actually have been given a little bit more importance that be loosely brought up at random times.

Keeping aside the fact that Zoya is representative of Ravka—a woman, a Grisha, a Suli girl who changed the course of war and who knew what it was like living in poverty, being as an underprivileged person of the society in addition to the trauma from then and the state of living at her aunt’s place—which is meant to be covertly apparent, the other reason tracks back to Yaromir the First, who with the help of Sankt Feliks of the Apple Boughs—the one who raised the thornwood—lead Ravka at that time into the age of peace.

The Darkling testified that in his POVs, that while Feliks and Yaromir worked in tandem for Ravka, Aleksander worked for safeguarding the Grisha. In one sense, Zoya is supposed to reflect that moment in history in the present moment, except she is Queen and Sankta, and Grisha, all three at once.

It is brought up in one of the Darkling’s POVs and once in the conversation with Yuri in KoS. Other than that, we never actually get any more hints of this explanation in the text, which is the reason why the entire ending felt so so rushed, and like a fever dream, that even if it was a plot twist, it was kinda very baseless when it should have been more ohhhhh sort of a thing.

g) The Starless Cult and Saint Worship

This cult had immense potential to blossom into many things, some of which were indeed touched upon in KoS when Zoya says that she saw a bit of herself in Yuri, and brings up time and again how easily she’d been led and had not been aware enough of what’s right and wrong, just as she supposes Yuri is too. And to some extent, there is truth there, because in the Lives of Saints, we do see why Yrui comes about to hail the Darkling and how it parallels Zoya’s, of being helpless and ten being saved by a different power/ their own power, respectively.

That’s where it forks, that Zoya is older and realizes the path that Yuri has chosen and understands that it won't happen until he realizes it himself because the Darkling’s crimes are so obvious.

Even then, there’s still more potential: This cult could have been the mirror that would make Zoya reflect on the questionable methods of the Darkling, and the ways in which she might be mirroring them, despite or not it is the necessity because of the war. How she is training soldiers too, just as the Darkling did, and while the need to take children away from their homes just as soon as they were discovered Grisha was abolished, it was war, and they needed soldiers.

So like, there’s quite a big narrative going on here, how mere children are pushed into one path of becoming a soldier and the whole system that was that the Darkling followed to train the Grisha and all of that. All of this in addition to the juxtaposition to the Grisha being seen as elite despite them being hunted, and the people who are not Grisha frowning upon them. This is also the work of the Darkling, which actually paves the way to see how there can be a world where the Grisha are not feared or seen as abnormal, despite or not they are given a Saint-like narrative.

This cult could also have been the segue to discussing Yuri and his brainwashing, and the sort of cult-ish behaviour of believing in something firm when you couldn’t believe in yourself, or not seeing the magnitude of the crimes of their supposed Saint, alongside always staying focused on becoming a soldier only and never actually thinking beyond what is told.

Some of these are very subtle and some are brought up, but never given too much of an explanation.

Genya brings up another good point in the funeral chapter, about how Fjerda seemingly taking into the whole Saints thing could mean that if the Darkling moved there, he could very well sprawl his influence there to bring in supporters. Which leads to another discussion that gets brought up towards the end of the book: about Nina telling about the Ravkan Saints to Hanne and therefore to the Fjerdans,,, which doesn’t exactly sit right with me. It’s still a very nascent topic, and I think SoC3 will explore this path of faith and personal beliefs etc. but leaving it just there, while talking so much about Saints in both the countries,,, don’t exactly know how to put it into thoughts here.

But regardless, the cult of the Starless had different potential to talk of (blind) worshipping of an ideal without critically examining why the person must be put on the pedestal in the first place (and if it is simply power, then there is actually a narrative right there, which RoW gets right, about the people valuing the power still, as a result of which the monarchy still persists at the end of RoW. Even then, there’s more discussion awaiting there).

Not sure if any of this makes sense, but I’ll leave it at this here for now.

edit: 05/07/2021 | I think what I was trying to say here is that we do not have any kind of narrative evidence to seeing how and why it seems right that the Fjerdans will worship Ravkan Saints; is it merely because they are all Grisha? Or is it because of the segue explore this path of faith and personal beliefs and all of that, of the talk of the monastery and the Grisha there being of all identities, that a monastery is in Shu Han, that it has Djel's sacred Ash tree so far away from Fjerda... much to think about.

III. Characters, Characterization, Character Potential.

Mostly going to be about Nina and Zoya, but I’ll bunch up the rest of them at the end.

a) Nina

*head in hands*

I severely mourned how poorly Zoya was written in RoW, but then I realized that more than Zoya, it’s Nina whose potential was severely undermined and wasted. On one hand, I’m glad she uses her powers and quick thinking,observation and her own tactics to analyze the population and opt for the best way to make them see the truth she wants to show them (eg: making Leoni and Adrik and Zoya saints and also showing that the Grisha are the children of Djel via people’s belief to Joran and Rasmus’s mother).

But then, it’s like you said; her parts were so offbeat and outpaced and completely disjointed, when in fact, Nina is the thread that ties all the characters, their plotlines and potential, together. Nina is connected to Zoya and Hanne, two equally important characters and main characters of the duology. Whatever scope Nina has, they are greatly in parallel to Zoya and Hanne. And it’s all literally there, in the text! What a waste.

Though keeping aside these parallels, Nina’s own journey from Ketterdam to Ravka to Fjerda, while is spoken about, doesn’t touch some other parts that I see potential in. Or this is just meta.

Nina has grief not just from Matthias’ death but also from the loss of her powers as Heartrender. So much of the Second Army was built on being a soldier, and perhaps the Darkling was not outright disdainful of racial differences in his army, yet he still stripped every part of the children away until they weren’t children anymore in his view. They’re all soldiers… (albeit his soldiers, preparing them to do his bidding because hey, give and take right?). Nina was a soldier, and she is a soldier still under Zoya’s role as a General, but an ‘other’ of a soldier. That’s her only identity, and the loss of her powers means that she’s a different kind of soldier.

I imagine that this entire time, some small part of Nina longed for normalcy, or whatever settled as normal for a life like hers. In the sense that she wants to go back, but what is back and where exactly did she want to go back to? What was the before and after and where did things go wrong or change? There’s tragedy in the realization that whatever you were before what you became is not a place you can return to, and that’s a different kind of loss that she has to bear, and all by herself. She has powers over the dead now, a strange power she learns to grow to, but all the places she has been, all the lives she has led and people she had been, everything might seem like they’ve all been locked away in some strange place leaving her barren and indisposable.

She’s off to Fjerda as someone she isn’t, figuratively and literally. In KoS, Nina brings up many times how odd she feels as Mila and in some capacity longs to be Nina Zenik again. This ties in with the previous point of returning to somewhere, but where?, but is also a segue towards body dysmorphia, the thing that Nina and Hanne’s storylines parallel and connect too with in a small way. It’s a great line to follow to discuss what her discomfort with her body means to herself while it means something entirely different to Hanne, who is also not entirely comfortable being who they are. (This discomfort further which leads to gender dysphoria, while for Nina, it will be about learning to accept her powers. I’ll add on to this in a bit,).

I'm mourning the lost potential of that experience being a parallel to Hanne’s own feelings, of a discussion between people being uncomfortable with their bodies, something that can mean multitudes to each person and on their own accord.

In parallel to Zoya, I like to draw it from the fact about Nina wanting to go back to who she was, while Zoya actively tries to lock her past away and drown it somewhere or throw it to the storm, never to hear of it again. She has no identity other than being a soldier, and that’s enough for Zoya, because who she was before she was a soldier is not pleasant. But moving from being just another expendable shell of soldier under the Darkling’s rule, Zoya becomes the one third of the Triumvirate, and then the King’s general, all of which bring self-awareness of Zoya’s capabilities and challenges that are bound to excite her. But all of these also compel Zoya to be many other people to others as she slowly grows to realize that power is not just protection but also a responsibility, and it will inadvertently mean confronting her past of her lost identity, realizing the how of the Darkling, and how harmful it was. As Genya puts it perfectly in Rule of Wolves, that they were all taken away when they were young kids, not even barely children, and then thrust into responsibilities that didn’t allow them to be anything else other than what the Darkling told them to be.

Back to Nina; a few other great parts about Nina’s arc could have been about her connection to languages, as language being a mode of strengthening identity, in addition to growing to her powers. In RoW, there’s this line that goes ‘how sweet it was to speak her language [Ravkan] again’, and the feeling of homesickness. Like, Nina is trying to connect to Ravka through what she knows best—language, and then stories. In that, Nina realizes a part of her identity, which could also act as a segue to Zoya reclaiming her own heritage and ethnicity. Not only that but Zoya and Nina’s stories are literally so intertwined that it’s hard not to see how their choices and line of thought affect one another’s arcs, in the grief they have and how they choose to treat it, and also show why Zoya is particularly protective of Nina (and keeps wishing that she doesn’t become the monster Zoya had become, in the sense that Nina is more mature in handling her grief than Zoya was and the entire mercy plotline ties Nina, Zoya and even Genya together. More meta, haH).

And that’s why the ending doesn’t make sense. Even though the part about her not being comfortable as Mila is not brought up many times in the continuing chapters (and that’s why perhaps naming Nina’s discomfort as body dysmorphia may be wrong), there’s still the part of Nina readily accepting to be who she was a Mila and remain in Fjerda that seems iffy to me. Especially when Nina and Hanne literally a few chapters ago think about running away (it may be just another alternative they might be fantasizing about, but I think it still means that they both want to be their true selves without hiding any parts of it away). So her staying as Mila… well, it doesn’t exactly add up.

I’d also add the part of Nina’s story mirroring Leoni’s, and how she is from Novyi Zem and being a part of the Second Army meant that she had little to no connection with her past, her culture etc. But maybe that’s just wishful thinking on my part that Leigh went for that arc.

edit: 05/07/2021 | I don't agree with my point anymore about Nina not having the kind of ending I assumed she might have, considering that it is very well possible for Nina to treat her identity as Mila as a fresh start, as a Grisha with a command over the the dead and begin a new normal that is suited for her. You can read more here.

b) Zoya

For one, white passing Zoya is not canon to me. I simply pretend I do not see it.

See, her race was handled very badly. Making her half-Suli was supposed to show the struggles and the trauma that the ridiculing of her identity by other people has caused to her. Except, not enough time nor text is given to thoroughly discuss it. Not to forget how problematic of a narrative in itself it is to make Zoya white passing.

It would have made more sense to make her dark skinned and predominantly Suli-looking than whatever yt bs she was put through. Her not being white-passing would have led to conversations about tokenization, or people caring little about her and not giving her any respect because she is Suli. Or being called beautiful to the face and praised just for it or a harmless tumble in their point of view.

So like, instead of making the ‘mistake’ of seeking for acceptance, seeking appreciation and love, from her mother at first and then the Darkling, Zoya instead makes herself someone to be feared, if respect was not what she deserved. The iciness is a part of her and has always been, but all of it soon became a shield, an armour that she vowed to harden her heart with. Just the sheer impact of this narrative and her reluctance, and seeing Nikolai love her for beyond who she thinks she is… if all of this was canon, I’m pretty sure I’d have built a shrine for this duology.

Let’s now talk about her grief, and...

…

Okay it’s not for me to point fingers at how Leigh chose to write about grief because there’s no one way or one proper approach to go through that pain, and if that’s how she chose to write about grief for Zoya, fine! But I really wish we’d have gotten a little more into her head to see how the trauma has affected her thoughts and how she struggles against why and what exactly it is that Juris wants her to do. That enough time and text was dedicated to Zoya’s feelings and the mayhem it caused her, as a result of which the dragon’s eye took its cue and made things more unbearable to her because she was the only one to bear them all.

Like, I feel like Zoya was overwhelmed throughout the book and in between she had some skyhigh responsibilities to discharge and it’s all so inconsistent and poorly woven,,, it completely dissolved her character from KoS and made it 10000000x more miserable for me to read her POVs. And honestly, what even were her assignments that the Kirkus review mentioned? Never an inch of text in RoW is given to decipher her complications of her mind, the muddled sense of hopelessness and fear that grips her time and again. Why overwhelm her so much that you fail to do her mental state and capacity any justice?

I’m not going to be harsh about how much David’s death bothered me-- no actually fuck that; what’s the point? Fine, he died. All because you wanted to make his death a plot device to make Zoya reconcile with loss and deal with it? Where was Genya’s grief? Literally no point of having a death in the book at all, and it didn’t even achieve anything. (I’m still trying to wrap my head around why David’s death was important and maybe if I find some straws, I’ll consider…)

There were so many other ways around it; could have brought back Lada and killed her off, or have the Darkling piss her off so badly or just. Something. Instead of whatever happened with David. I think this is too harsh and insensitive of me to say about Leigh, but still… there’s a myriad of other ways to have gone about it. Helping Zoya deal with her grief with Nikolai at her side, to understand that the rage that was fueled from her loneliness, like it had been in the past, could now be a weight that Nikolai was willing to carry with her… Helping someone with their grief, staying and choosing is also a love language you know?

So in that regard, I won’t regret saying how flat the garden scene was to me. Zoya’s lines, though tinged with grief, were so out of what I would expect KoS Zoya to say. Maybe it’s also because of how bitter I was reading about David's death, despite that part being spoiled for me.

The cost shouldn’t have been David’s death, especially not when his death too wasn’t properly handled at all, and Genya’s grief was never spared a second thought beyond bringing Titanium.

+

Now let’s talk about how Out of Character Zoya was throughout the book. Her punchy attitude was missing, and even if she was warming up to her friends, we see little of the iciness she continues to retain. Another part of this is about exploring her relationships, particularly with Nikolai and her growing feelings for him. I wish we’d have seen them grapple with more of their confusion and propriety, if only for the yearning™. Besides, no matter how cute their scenes were, they were mostly (like maybe some. 70%) awful to read them, simply because it felt so odd to see Zoya be so open with Nikolai, all of a sudden.

A part of this definitely has to be the fact that we don’t know just how much time has passed between the end of KoS and the start of RoW, and we never, never see any description of they regarded their feelings for each other and how they understood it themselves. I don’t actually know how exactly I can put this into words in a manner that will make sense, but the only scenes where I appreciated Zoyalai were in the Ketterdam chapters, ONLY. The rest was… bleh lmao. Their scenes were so cute and brilliant, and if only we’d seen more of the internal conflict and had given some more time for them to practically approach their feelings but still end up in the puddle of it. If only.

Their scenes apart were the good ones, because that’s where we finally see Nikolai feeling the loss, no matter how temporary (on the verge of being permanent since it’s the war), of not having Zoya with him, of not being there with Zoya because who else would it be if it wasn’t her? Zoyalai had good scenes but they barely lived up to the mark lol. Their feelings are never thoroughly explored, nor their mental capacities.

While we’re talking about Zoyalai, let’s also talk about how lame it was for Zoya to say that Nikolai was the golden spirited hero all along, from the very start, when canonically we know Zoya had little to do with him in the earlier books, that she may have only been physically attracted to him and never saw him as more than just some guy with a responsibility to manage, and had sooooooo much distrust about him. And that it was only in the next few years of working with him and alongside did she grow to recognize his efforts and relish in the hope that he was building for Ravka, inadvertently making Zoya hopeful too.

Nope. Instead, we’ll just throw in some destiny bs that he was the one all along rather than show that the beauty of their relationship did not stem what they perceived of each other, but was instead built on strong respect and admiration for one another and their capabilities. 100% destroyed their relationship for me.

+

Some good parts about Zoya’s arc in RoW was how she acknowledged her past mistakes, and the nuance that was touched upon in seeing sense in becoming a soldier from the start, that offered her a chance to be anything other than a bride. That some part of her was grateful for the Darkling for teaching her how to fight, while still keeping Genya’s words in mind about how they were mere kids, children who had only one path to traverse because the Darkling (who wanted their acceptance and loyalty) nor the Kings of the country let the Grisha be anything else other than pawns of the war. That she recognizes her mistakes as a teen and how self centred she was, that her being snotty had at times cost some peoples’ lives too. And she doesn’t take the blame all up on herself, because it’s not hers alone to bear. Super good.

Also, the way Zoya comes to view power as responsibility instead of merely as protection was something cool to read about. It’s not clear in the books, but Zoya actively tried to not be the Darkling while still continuing to build an army for the war out of necessity, and actually sharing some parts of the dream that the Darkling had for the Grisha. I can’t articulate this so perfectly, but the point is, Zoya trying to avoid becoming a tyrant like the Darkling was an active process that she was constantly trying to change, and where Zoya could not recognize her own feelings and inherent thoughts about warfare that in some ways did mirror the Darkling’s, by the end of book, Zoya is much more self-aware and conscious of herself and her power than she was at the start of the book. And this was well done.

+

Now, what is up with YA and making people turn into giants or animals lol wtf. Why couldn’t we have seen Zoya use her dragon powers in a way that symbolizes the conditions of her dragon amplifier and the power of the knowledge she obtained from Juris? She is a Saint, and we’ve seen that their powers allowed them to cause ‘miracles’ and such, as we see at the start of KoS and at the end.

Why couldn’t we have seen Zoya dabble with her newfound powers and completely lose her shit in anger during the wae, only to rein back in mercy, just as someone from Fjerda begs for forgiveness since they see her then as a Saint? Adrik and Leoni used their powers in Fjerda, so having Zoya bring about a conundrum of all orders and do something about it would also have been cool, wouldn’t it? In the funeral scene we see her turn water into ice, thereby making a path for Genya. Why couldn’t we have had more exploration of the importance of the dragon’s eye and the general nausea of being overly empathetic every. damn. time? Why didn’t we get to see her powers? Why couldn’t we have seen her fail in them and realize that the reason she was not perfect was because she was trying to be strong on her own and was not relying on others and joint effort?

Her turning into a dragon was genuinely the most baffling part bc here’s a war that’s so serious and dire with metals and bombs, and then here’s this magic that will solve all of it entirely. Like I’m not saying it was bad, (I am actually saying just that) but I also don’t know what I am saying, except that the ending felt like a fever dream.

…?

Not sure if I’ve managed to convey it properly, but well. Zoya felt out of character throughout RoW, and that the only place I saw KoS Zoya was in the final Os Kervo scene where Zoya finally agrees to be the queen.

c) Nikolai

Nikolai’s arc was very satisfying and brilliant to read about in RoW. In KoS, he seemed very much like a passive character, one of the reasons why his stunt with the Shu in RoW was appreciable, no matter how ill-timed of a plot turn it was. His journey throughout this book was also introspective to see why others deemed him unfit as the King, and even if they were his enemies who thought that in want to dispose him from the throne, Nikolai realizes that him being on the throne is not of much value and that this book was entirely about him seeing his privilege and making decisions to counter and correct the mistakes he’s made. That was nice. Oh, also his father not being an antagonist was a pleasant surprise.

I don’t have many complaints about him, except perhaps wanting some more internal conflict and elaboration about his feelings for Zoya. Them being apart was where it was satisfying, and then in the Ketterdam chapters. His arc could have been better in KoS, but that’s to blame the plot for the characterization.

d) Hanne

Now, from the very start, their arc was super good and it only got better and better until… the ending. Except it’s so odd that Hanne, a poc, has to now live as white person, while feeling comfortable in their transmasc identity. Icky, no? That you need to eliminate one part of your identity in order to feel safe and comfortable about another? Add to this the whole white-passing Zoya thing,,, doesn't exactly send off the right message.

Together with Nina, the ending seems uncharacteristic for both of them. Them coming to accept their powers and knowing to use their powers on their own accord was brilliant, though the entire husband business felt very,,, eh to me, even if it did make sense. The ending about their name and their new identity was too vague.

e) Genya, Leoni and Adrik, Kuwei, Mayu,

Genya is the one who faced the most disservice along with David. While there were exceptional parts to both of their plotlines, it's still sad that even if David's death was necessary, we don't get to see the entirety of her grief and the possible anger, and that her kindness is simply used as the justification for lack of portrayal of grief.

It really did take me by surprise, mostly because I wasn't a fan of the original Shadow and Bone book, but seeing David's conscience and self-awareness, along with Genya's (and Zoya thinking of how she wouldn't let any harm come to them, which shows a bit of her development towards her character development), was plenty refreshing. David and Genya were genuinely the highlights of the book and to kill David off was just. doesn't sit right with me.

Leoni and Adrik deserved more page time. They’re saints and immensely capable (no wonder they’re now the Triumvirate), but a few more pages for them to shine would not only have been nice, but also a necessity.

And now, Kuwei...

....

I mean,,, parem should have been the plot, alongside the entire weaponry and the discussion of making a city killer. But uh… that didn’t happen.

There's not much I have to say about Mayu, Tamar and Ehri, except that their plot was superb, only very badly timed.

There's more to talk about them in the remedy tho.

IV. Remedy

Here’s the deal. Before KoS release, there should have been a Nina novella.

Nina is a very important character. All of her potential, alongside many other parts of her personality--from dealing with grief, to accustoming to her powers, to growing stronger--there could be so much to do with her as a protagonist, alongside another character: Mayu.

A whole book dedicated to Nina in Fjerda with Hanne? Brilliant. Show Stopping. Mind blowing. It gives SO much page time to explore not just Nina and Mayu, Hanne, but also Zoya, Leoni and Inej. All together.

How?

Nina’s plotline carries the entire medical effects of the use of parem, just as Mayu’s will carry the pain she feels about her brother being a part of the khergud program. The novella will give ample time to flesh them out as characters and protagonists, each dealing with plot problems and problems of their own--like the loss of ones powers and newfound responsibilities, and the shared loss of a beloved person in parallel, even if neither Nina or Mayu interact on page.

Fjerda and Shu Han could be tied together with one chapter as a POV from Zoya (or maybe two), who, along with the Triumvirate and Nikolai, are completely at loss with the political scenario in the country, and are debating over what should be the course of action. Zoya receives news from the scouts, and missives from Nina, and Tamar takes care of the information she garners from the rest of the network, including Shu Han.

Like, the entire surprise of finding a Zoya POV, from a character whom until CK we’ve known as cold hearted and stern and not giving a fuck about anything or anyone, be humanized in that one chapter, thereby building up the anticipation for her arc,,, the very potential,,, *chef's kiss*.

And by the end of book, we could have an POV--or maybe a cameo if not a POV--of Inej meeting Nina on one of her travels of slave hunting. Inej could help take care that the women that Nina has rescued (as Nina does in KoS) reach the Ravkan shorelines safely. But, for a price.

The entire parallels between Leoni and Hanne and Nina could be set up, while also building up the narrative for the Saints’ plotline with Adrik's, Leoni's and Nina’s powers (like it was at the end of KoS). KoS and RoW would thereby continue it by tackling the weaponization and the antidote, Sainthood and the rest of the politics of it all.

Coming to Shu Han: one key aspect that I’d love to have explored would be the importance of art, during or despite the war. Of how war or pain chips away culture, while detailing on the ill effects of it from the commoners' perspectives, from the soldiers etc. Art is integral to Shu Han and could be portrayed by Mayu’s pain finding balm in poetry, of seeing glimpses of Ehri poring over poetry also mayri ftw, of politics that Makhi is weaving against Ravka, etc.

Or also add some more length to Zoya’s POV and explore a bit of Tamar and Tolya and Kuwei’s interactions and perspective added to it, of missing a home that they seemed to not know, or know; of discussing culture and differences on the basis of where they’re from (maybe the twins are from the borders, while Kuwei grew up near the capital or somewhere distant from the borders etc.), all while directly pointing at Zoya’s heritage and how it ebbs at her conscience, no matter how much she wants to bury it.

POTENTIAL !!!

Like,,, Nina novella would have been too powerful. It would have been perfect. I think I’d excuse bringing back the Darkling too if this was the case. (Or maybe not).

But welp.

Hey, thanks for reading! Not sure if you could make it this far, but if you have, you honestly deserve a medal for sitting through this all. I can’t imagine how tiring it must be to read through this, considering it seemed to take it more than month to compile this there’s also me procrastinating on it too so i’,mbhbdhshfsdn

Drop an ask if you want to talk more about this!

Sincerely, thank you!!!

[volot]

mini-headcanon: cyrus, and what sets them apart.

so something i’ve talked about in dms and recently again today with a friend when prompted about volo’s feelings re: cyrus’s plan + dealing with lysandre, and i forget if i mentioned it explicitly on this blog before, but...

i’ve talked in general about how volo thinks he’s the one chosen by arceus. like, it’s his destiny to meet arceus and “fix” this world via rebirth and recreation under the eye of a god who will not abandon it ( in his eyes, anyway; that’s how he views it ), who will not do as arceus did, who understands the despair of humanity like it’s within his very blood. ( because it is. )

people often like to compare volo and cyrus’s plans back to back. on the surface, they seem similar: they are both tragic, deeply troubled individuals who want to remake the world to be “better”, right? that seems pretty word-for-word. but it isn’t. cyrus’s plan, while from a place of his own sorrows and hardships faced in life, is an attempt to wipe out human spirit, believing it to be the ultimate solution to subdue future suffering. and while volo also aims to make the world free of tragedy, it’s that key detail in destruction of the human spirit that sets their plans drastically apart. volo doesn’t believe in destruction of human spirit: he embodies one of the key components, willpower, as cynthia, cogita and himself all do, with emotion and logic respectively. 

volo doesn’t want a dispirited world. he wants a world without suffering. without pointless wars, pointless deaths, without the conflict of humanity burying history, free of greed and senseless violence and strife and unnecessary blood spilled. it is a world where his people thrive, where the identity of a god won’t be lost to time and buried in conflict. i’ve mentioned this before, but it is an impossible dream, and yet volo’s volition makes him believe that he can make it possible, that he’s the only one who knows how, the only one who has the keys to create something truly perfect. he wishes it, he wants it, so he will will it. no matter the costs, no matter the means, even if he must commit heinous acts of manipulation and violence, it is his means to an end.

because he is the last of the celestica, because he’s unraveled all the secrets of the world, because the knowledge he has, divine and too much and too aware of history, makes him understand things far deeper than anyone else.

because someone else -- cyrus, the cold sun he chased, the boy born of the stars who holds a similar dream and his same ruthless ambition -- would get it wrong.

[sonocomics]

What are your thoughts on Danganronpa's three main antags (Byakuya Togami, Nagito Komaeda and Kokichi Ouma)?

They're all very interesting in different ways. Obviously if I met any in person I'd be very tempted to hit em with a chair, but in terms of narrative structure they're all done quite well imo

Byakuya's the most tame, although his actions in trial 2 are def heinous. ...I do kinda like how they make the absurdly rich guy super amoral though. Like A+ characterization there because yeah 8')

Nagito is probably the best imo in terms of pushing the narrative forward and providing conflict. Like, despite the "real" villain in DR2 let's be honest: Nagito was a bigger driving force. Like he'd be the one to get a big number in a musical :x Also god does he ever keep you guessing

...All of that said, I actually would say that Kokichi is my personal favorite. Although his "master plan" was just a little bit less impressive than Nagito's (just a bit), I'm really impressed by just how well his character ties into the theme of truth and lies. Like...trying to tell whether he's being genuine or lying, even at the VERY end, is almost impossible. Even the stuff I feel "sure" on still has a feeling of doubt. Which like?? Damn that is really cool

...He's also a gremlin, which is fun :x

[hanibalistic]

#67509E | HWANG HYUNJIN.

genre | fluff

word count | 1889

warning | appearances of vampire fangs, mention of blood sucking

tag | @fluffyskzclub​

note | i miss hyunjin.

hyunjin pouted like he was throwing a tantrum—well, to a certain degree, he was throwing a small tantrum.

he curled himself around the fluffy blanket that you two left on the couch from yesterday's spontaneous movie night as he pouted at you bitterly. he tried to fit his tall body within the blanket, but his long legs awkwardly jutted out of the end corner, unable to bend enough to curl himself into a tiny ball. his head poked out of the blanket he draped around his shoulder and over his head.

"must you open the curtains all the time?" he whined with furrowed brows, lightly kicking his feet against the couch. "i hate the sun, you know that!"

you rolled your eyes as you closed the curtains after being drowned in his mindless complaints about the last half an hour. you had opened them so the plants could soak in some sunlight. you even took into consideration that hyunjin would be asleep for longer like he always does, otherwise, you would have never let the sunlight into your shared apartment. but for some reason, he decided to leave his stupid coffin earlier today.

to listen to the birds' chirp perhaps. that's the kind of leisure activity a hundred-year-old would like, you bet.

the same thing happens every time you open the blinds, which is that hyunjin does not shut up about him disliking the sun and how it weakens his vampirism as opposed to it actually killing him. he would not stop until you close the curtains and turn on the lights, which often made you scoff. not only was he annoying, for a vampire who was supposed to burn under the sun, he sure does speak of it a lot.

"we will need sunlight somehow, hyunjin," you said as you turned around to glare at him. "the plants you stole, from outside, in the morning, will need sunlight."

you emphasized your words to make sure he knew of all the heinous frustrations he has caused you. the puppy pout on his face, as well as the pitying glint in his eyes, only deepened with each emphasis of your voice, his body flinching and shrinking when he could tell that you were upset with him.

watching him, there was a rush of conflict brewing like bubbles in you. you weren't sure if you felt more annoyed or endeared about the fact that hyunjin, a not quite literally ancient but old enough to feel ancient vampire, gained such comfortability from you that he was fine with throwing a childish tantrum in front of you.

he looks cute, surely! he always does. but sometimes, you genuinely could not stand another second of him whining.

"stop yelling at me! you know what the sun does to a vampire!" he retorted.

oh, god—blah, blah, blah.

"yeah, a vampire that doesn't have an accessory of the sigil," you said cleverly as you moved over to him. you yanked the blanket off his body, ignoring his protest, and you pointed at his neck. "like the necklace you never take off!"

"i only got this recently! the witch would have never sold me this if you hadn't come with me," he argued, pulling the blanket around him again. "i'm not used to the sun yet, just let me have a little more time."

you pursed your lips together, your neck turning sour at his poor mumble as you softened. he did only just get the necklace—by just, it was about two to three months ago. however, while that alone may seem like a long period, comparing that to almost a whole decade of no sunlight, perhaps he really just needed more time to adjust.

but! zooming past the streets, leaving normal people wondering where the sudden gust of wind came from, and hiding in the apartment that leaves no room for any traces of sunlight was not the way to go about it!

"how about just a little bit, hmm?" you said then, suggesting a compromise casually while you walked toward the window. "take it little by little!"

hyunjin widened his eyes in disbelief as you moved farther away from him. he shook his legs in protest, his body moving animatedly on the cushiony couch as he protested loud and clear. "hey! you better not open the curtains, [name]!"

you grabbed the hem of the curtains, your mind occupied with calculating the correct amount you would flip open. it has to be a very small amount, to a point where the sunlight could only hit one leaf of the plant on the window rail, or just one square of your marble floor. it has to be the form of sunlight that could not hurt even a fly, so you could show him just how goddamn dramatic he was being.

"[name], i swear!"

"oh, bite me," you muttered under your breath.

there was a gust of wind—a familiar kind. it blew at the tip of your hair, making it waft around, and the hem of your thin shirt also danced at the breeze of hyunjin's vampiric speed.

blinking consciously, you loosened your grip on the curtains and turned around. immediately, upon feeling the heat of his face, you flinched back and closed your eyes to settle yourself.

"jesus–what the hell, hyunjin?" you muttered with a hand on your chest before you slowly opened your eyes.

hyunjin was glaring at you; no malice, just alluring intensity. his hair fell over his face prettily. the sunlight that he didn't seem to care much for now shone a soft haze over half of his face, making him glow and glitter naturally.

"those are some reckless words to say to a vampire," he said lowly, tilting his head to the side lightly as he arched a brow, "don't you think?"

your heart pounced.

the matter of blood, or just his general nature as a vampire, like his need to feed off of human beings, has only come up once.

he mentioned it to you when he was applying to be your roommate, having a foul plan to erase your memories in case the truth was not well-received by you. he told you that he has been a vampire for a while so he knew how to control his urges, therefore you would not be in any harm, and the matter was never spoken of again.

he held up his words. he has never discussed blood with you, he has never shown any blood-thirsty behavior at all. he acted like any other roommates you have had; being too loud at night, eating cereal in the living room and eyeing your bed-head with a judgemental gaze, knocking at your door and asking if you wanted to pick a takeout place.

if he used his powers less, you would have forgotten about his vampiric side.

why was your heart thumping then? was he too pretty for your own good? or was he standing too close for familiar comfort? or perhaps both?

you scoffed, making your thoughts vanish. "you won't bite me."

hyunjin softened in a way you couldn't catch. deep within the tender wash of his eyes was a sea of wildfires he hid behind closed doors.

you were right, he won't bite you, but he wants to, especially because the smell of your blood happened to be more enticing than others because he likes you.

the art of blood sharing (in a sense) is done between lovers; consider it like leaving a love mark, of a sort. it is an act of claiming and reassurance, and hyunjin has been wanting to sink his fangs into your flesh for a while so he could leave a bite mark.

but he could never do that. that was a desire trapped in his throat, urging to be let out and to be voiced, and hyunjin would not allow it. there were too many risks of unleashing the deep-seated yearning in his chest. it lingered in his head in withdrawal, cautiously threading through his mind to keep his urges contained.

he puts his want elsewhere. his want to taste your blood, to kiss your neck, has to grow somewhere, so he has to put it somewhere, and he puts in it his daydream which that manifests gently when he is with you, and ferociously when you were away.

"i won't," he muttered under his breath, to which you relaxed at. but then he grinned, and he opened his mouth to speak first, "doesn't mean i can't, though."

you widened your eyes when black veins draped beneath his eyes and his sharp fangs appeared. it was a terrifying sight, but you were only shocked to see it than scared. rationally, you reached your hands up and slapped your palms against his cheeks, startling him.

"hmmm... " you grumbled, sounding thoughtful as you surveyed his shocked expression.

the veins under his eyes retreated and the colors returned to his face. the innocence flooded back into him, bright and boyish, and he dared not move an inch under the pressure of your gaze—beneath your touch hyunjin is but a gentle boy hapless in love.

"ah...aah...wha–" he closed his eyes slightly and opened them with furrowed brows, confused and helpless with his head slightly tilted up. his words were muffled but jot too hard to understand. "[name]–why–uhh–"

you pushed at his upper lip with your thumb and looked at his fangs, wondering why they did not retreat with the dark haze of his eyes. then, ignoring hyunjin's muffled questions, you carefully poked at the tip of his teeth—razor-sharp, but very real.

he was whining again. his hands reached out to the hem of your shirt and desperately, as well as timidly, tugged at it. meanwhile, he put on a defeated face. as much as he would with your thumbs poking his fangs, that was.

"ahh, please stop–[name], stop touching my fangs–why," he feigned a sob, shaking his head as a blush reached his cheeks, "they're just teeth."

"teeth that puncture," you commented when you let go. the way your thumbs briefly smoothed over his top lip was not lost on him.

seeing his pout, you pursed your lips with faint guilt. rubbing the back of your neck, you shrugged. "sorry about that, i just got curious."

"it's okay," he waved you off quickly, "i was curious too when i first got them."

hyunjin looked at you when you giggled under your breath; soft, hearty giggles that tried to conceal themselves without the anticipation for his vampiric hearing. gentle, funny giggles that never once questioned his problematic past. lovely, adoring giggles that are here before and after he revealed who he is to you.

he came to your apartment begging for a home where he could be himself, and you allowed him safety with you.

"alright," you said with a curt smile, "i'm going to go change, need to get grocery."

"i–i'll come with!"

you seemed shocked for a moment, accessing him like a trick question. then you relaxed and nodded with nonchalance. "yeah, whatever."

he melted despite the lackluster reaction. it was the excitement that counted. smiling to himself, he twirled and twisted his body shyly as the sun shone from outside.

yeah. hyunjin truly is but a simple boy in love with you.

[creacherkeeper]

imagine it goes like this

you are a researcher, in mind and heart if not in profession, and you want the answer to the question. if left up to random chance, is it always the course of the universe that people will come to believe in a higher power? our world is much too messy, you think, and much too complicated to answer this on its own. you want facts. you want data. and so you start to set the stage of your experiment - a self propagating ai that will see the universe from its origin and spin outwards in true mathematics and true randomness, from the first flash of fire in the heavens to life to civilization

and you watch. you watch as planets form and storms appear and water - you couldn't wait for the water - washes down over land. you cheer when the first spark of life appears naked and alone on a planet so alien you could not hope to imagine it yourself. you watch mutations, sex, death, as wriggling creatures appear from the deep and begin, in the way of things, to make lives for themselves

you get, after a time, to the people. and this is where the experiment really begins

in rapt fascination you watch them discover the tools of humanity. a sharpened stone. a burning stick. things that roll over and over along a path. you watch them make art and you watch them love each other. and you watch them learn to sing. your hard drive heavies with every song they choose to teach each other

in the way of things, you watch conflict. you were expecting the conflict, but it still hurts. your little strings of code wage war. sometimes it is two children fighting over a toy. sometimes it is much bigger, and much worse. you would not admit it to anyone else, as surely those who are not watching your code on your screen would not understand, but sometimes you are moved to tears by the actions these fake little beings take against each other. it's not real, you know. you built the computer. you wrote the program. but you can't help it. you get attached

the experiment reaches it's conclusion, and your code does learn something of religion. the little creatures dream of higher things, sing of higher things, sacrifice and kill and make peace for the thought of it. it really is time, you think, to turn the program off, maybe start it again, see if things would be different this time. if they'd stay the same again and again and again

but datum 374839 has just fallen in love. and her neighbor has just witnessed the birth of kittens. and over on the other side of your fake world there are people celebrating an anniversary and more mourning a death and you think you, too, would mourn to simply shut the whole thing off

so maybe you'll let it run, for just a little while longer

the people in your little world of digits and parentheses and arrays ask questions and never stop asking questions. they ask questions of each other and ask more of you. they'd do anything in the world for the answers. is our god real? can our god hear us? does our god love? and you, eyes blurry from staring at your screen, answer, yes, but they cannot hear you

some people are desperate. some commit heinous acts in your name. some carry with them the depths of depression and isolation and rage simply for the fact that you never answer. many people doubt and many people question, and you never blame them for that, and never hold it against them. because you could. you could tell them. you could tell them the answer and solve so many problems and ask of them to be kind and to love and to not worry so much, all the time

but that would ruin the experiment

and you don't even know how you'd do it. the ai has created such a vast array of code that you have almost total control. you could send something to the thoughts of every creature on your world at once. you could write it in the heavens. you could send a sign so fantastic no one would ever doubt again

but what a great responsibility it is to decide, and what a great fear you have at the thought. what if you get it wrong? what if people are angry? you're not what they expected, surely, most of them at least. people have sung songs about you since they knew how to sing, and you are merely a person in front of a computer who was a little too curious for their own good. you know you are not deserving of the worship they have brought, unknowingly, to you. you never created them to be praised, but only because you wanted to know. you could never have guessed you would grow to feel such love and protectiveness over these little strings of code, and did not understand the fear you'd feel at the responsibility of caring for them

so you say nothing. and do not interrupt. and you let your little bits of data go about their lives never knowing the answer. thinking the universe cannot hear them. it's better this way, you think. you don't want to mess anything up

and in your program, on your computer screen, some random tick in the numbers, in the way of all mutations that have gotten them there thus far, a little creature of your code gets a computer, and begins to write a program

you wonder if you should stop them. they don't know what's coming. they have never felt admiration or rage or caring like this before. they are simply typing away at their keyboard out of a burning sense of curiosity

you do not interrupt. you think that maybe this is just the way of things. so you watch, and you finish your bowl of soup

[unsanctitude]

opening my hands up politely. may i have some of your octavo and/or shadow link + zelda thoughts. its ok if not !!

ya! i like to think about them : ) ill talk about Shadow link and zelda first and then how they relate to Octavo

-Since Shadow Link is described as the manifestation of Ganon's evil thoughts and resentment, i personally like to think of shadow Zelda as being that of Vaati's, since him being a dead god loaded with inner turmoil warrants him leaving traces of himself with unfinished business lurking around Hyrule for the rest of time

-I also like Shadow Zelda being the manifestation of Vaati's feelings surrounding Zelda just because of how conflicted his feelings were between games; in TMC he essentially tried to kill her to obtain the light force, while in FS he tried to marry her cause he thinks she's pretty. i like to think Shadow Zelda embodies both of these Vaatis, which makes her have very conflicting (and dangerous) feelings towards present-day Zelda, though she's strictly forbidden from acting out on her more power-hungry tendencies since Zelda is a friend to Octavo and Shadow Zelda obeys him.. to an extent

-Shadow Link's loyalty towards Octavo stems from the fealty he swore to Vaati ages ago during FS/FSA, since he still recognizes Octavo as being the "true" Vaati even though he's rejected the mantle of becoming the wind mage. Despite his devotion to Vaati, Shadow Link refuses to recognize Shadow Zelda as being related to Vaati at all, seeing her as his equal, and spurns her demands of deference to her

-Thus, Shadow Link and Shadow Zelda's clashing opinions and constant arguing gives them a very hatred-fueled, sibling-like dynamic in their never-ending cycle of "proving" who is the more powerful, respectable shadow; Shadow Link often touts that he is eons older than her and "he was there" during Vaati's glory days as his trusted servant, and Shadow Zelda argues that her being the reflection of a princess by default has her outrank him, and he should naturally obey her like the real Link "obeys" Zelda. needless to say neither of them will ever have their minds changed

-Octavo wants to see something more to them besides being mindless pawns of evil, so he does try to treat them as such and makes attempts to "humanize" them by giving them hobbies that dont involve violence. Obviously as a music teacher he tries to get them to play instruments (a very, very wide array of them to see if they click with any) met with little success

"Do either of you know how to play any instruments?"

"Do instruments of torture count"

-Along the same vein, he very patronizingly tries to get the two Shadows to get along with each other and "play nice" like an actual parent scolding his children. it doesnt work

-In general, his attempts to get them to go against their very nature of trickery and malevolence goes just about as well as you'd expect, and he finds the most he can do is order them to simply not commit heinous atrocities. The Shadows grow increasingly frustrated by not staying true to their purpose and more often than not will do things behind his back; they enrich themselves by inconveniencing Link and Zelda, but only just enough so they don't get in trouble

-At least, Shadow Link is the one who is careful about disobeying Octavo, since Shadow Zelda isnt exactly bound by fealty to him. In the back of her mind, I think she very secretly wants Octavo to become more like her, and that in fact might just be the whole point of her existence. I think of them like two halves of Vaati-- Octavo is the physical reincarnation and inherited much of Vaati's magic and skill, while Shadow Zelda embodies his hatred and the inexplicable drive to do evil. Shadow Zelda doesn't want to turn against him per se, especially since he's much stronger than her and fears he would destroy her, but she feels the need to "fix" him, and takes advantage of his kindness to try and get into his head

-And.. depending on what "ending" you go with for Octavo, she may or may not have succeeded. I think Shadow Zelda played a part in turning Octavo into the Necrodancer once she recognized a seed of corruption sown into him by the Golden Lute, nudging him towards madness by asserting herself as a voice of reason, especially since they've been ""friends"" for so long. She would have been the one to convince him to hang on to the lute instead of destroying it once he realized what it was doing to him, since he does possess enough willpower to do so otherwise.

[sad-hippie]

I really appreciate that June's anger is mainly focused on Serena and not Fred.

At some point, when she and Serena were in Fred's office working together, she saw what they could have been, who Serena was before Gilead. June felt compassion for her, a sense of understanding towards the writer who could no longer write, the leader that could no longer lead.

I think it's mostly because there was a point when June trusted Serena, to a certain degree. She trusted that she could chose to do the right thing with the right motivation - when she got that doctor and Janine to see Charlotte, when she advocated for the women to be allowed to read, when she let Holly be sent away.

Which makes it so much more heartbreaking all the times she betrays her. June tried so hard to make her see sense, she expected her to wake up from her complacency in Gilead and finally do the right thing. Only to come to terms that this is who Serena is. Who she choses to be, again and again. A narcissist who hides her selfish intentions behind God's will. Who can't even recognize all the heinous things she did, much less admit to her part in her own prison. Who asks for redemption but does nothing to warrant it.

While Fred, June never expected more from Fred. She knew exactly who he was. He never dissapointed her. He was always the villain and she accepted him as just that. It's even telling by how she refers to them. Fred is the Commander, that's all he ever was, he could be replaced with any other commander and it would change almost nothing. While Serena gets to be Serena, with all the intimacy that first names provide in Gilead.

It wasn't that Serena lied to her, it's that June deceived herself into thinking she could be redeemed, only to be proven again and again that Serena cannot. That she doesn't want to. That she doesn't think she has to, not really. She might feign guilt from time to time to warrant sympathy, but it's short-lived and turns to anger just as easily if anyone actually tries to hold her accountable for her actions.

And then she gets pregnant. She achieves the only thing June had over her, the thing Serena wanted the most, after all the pain she caused, all the suffering - she wins. She gets pregnant, with a boy, outside of Gilead. And June's rage consumes her, that she lost her little girl to Gilead and Serena gets everything she ever wanted. In even better terms that what she would get in Gilead.

I think it would have been a disservice to this show to have June be as focused on Fred (who is almost inconsequential at this point) as she was with Serena, when one of this show's biggest driving impulses was the conflict between these women.