#going crazy going stupid etc etc

[marklikely]

the movie did such a good job at putting me in isabel/owens shoes honestly because i was looking at tara/maddys monologue scene through a lens of just not letting go of nostalgia so i was like 'oh my god do not get in that hole in the ground. this is crazy' but then two minutes later with hindsight i Understood and was like 'NO YOU SHOULD HAVE GOTTEN IN THE HOLE IN THE GROUND GO BACK'

[pyrosomatic-metamorphosis]

STILL thinking about that confrontation from earlier. fucking. "what's up kidnapper" and forever not believing bad (and bad lying directly to his face) and then when forever tried to hug him Bad Stepped Back. and then later tonight when bad got lassoed by tubbo and bagi, bad called to forever for help first. and bad showing forever a fake cell and forever telling him that this isn't how they get dapper back and the "you can kidnap me" and bad telling bagi that he's going to keep checking on the appreciation room because forever told him too and. they care about each other SO MUCH but they trust each other SO LITTLE. can anyone hear me look at them. look at them. they've been so dysfunctional but now they're finding something closer to an equilibrium. how long will that last. they've tried and they've failed to kill each other. holding these cubes so fucking gently and then i am putting them in a glass jar and shaking it violently.

[lifesver]

my new assignments for the friends as xiv jobs if u even care (based mostly on my friends interpretations of said characters)—

leland - paladin lol

connie - astrologian, sage, or bard

sonny - scholar, sage, or summoner

julie - dancer, monk or bard

danny - dark knight, machinist or black mage

maria - white mage, astrologian or pictomancer

ana - warrior, dark knight or paladin

[jrueships]

zesty lowkey just another way for str8 ppl to say faggot / faggy and get away with it

[agnesandhilda]

my father is an olympic gold medalist in the sport of emotionally tormenting women

[fitzselfships]

My paranoia is like. Super bad lately (it's really bad today for some reason) and I haven't been checking notifications, asks, messages, etc as a result so pls just know I'm not ignoring anyone!! Just struggling with the mental illness stuff

[pondslime]

I should be given an award every single time I successfully resist the urge to tag other ppl's gifsets w/the nastiest most vile horny bullshit. I should be an olympic gold medalist @ this point

[wizzycore]

post novus lyric comic... again! you’ll never take me alive

(song is mary by the happy fits)

i might continue this lyric comic i might not so here. take it

[sadmages]

With the oc-tober can I do it with like cheraters from fandoms or only ocs?

I mean there's some pretty oc-specific questions but its just a prompt list you can literally do whatever you want!

[minglana]

its so amazing going on twitter and seeing so much hate for aragonese (both the language and the people) condensed into like... the replies of 3 different tweets. all because now diputados will be able to speak in co-official and native languages instead of having to switch to spanish

[e77y]

Long but relatively unserious vent/rant below the cut (sorry I added this in bc I realized how long this post is oops)

Being at the center of some kind of internet witchhunt (which ik is kind of buzzwordy but) is literally my biggest fear ohhh my god. Even a small scale one… I think I would Die. Maybe it’s because I had a similar thing happen with my friend group in high school where one of them convinced the others I was like evil and spread all these rumors about me… 😭 He was splitting on me but still. That’s an explanation, not an excuse. And it basically confirmed all of my intrusive thoughts about myself, and my personality completely self-destructed and changed, and I haven’t interacted with any of those people the same way since. I isolated from them for MONTHS and just loathed myself. Bleh

The reason it’s on my mind is bc I’ve seen this happen to friends and mutuals and even just people I’ve followed in small fandoms, where the whole fandom hates them bc of this little drama and like. I KNOW that fandom drama is not the end of the world, but truly I think that would destroy me for months. And I would never be able to set foot in those spaces again :’) Getting a handful of rude comments about a fucking transfem hc I had at like 14 made me stop writing fanfic for YEARS 😭😭😭 sigh. Just bc they said it was ‘out of character for him to want to be a girl’ 🙄 (<- character who canonically felt confident when dressed as a woman btw. initially for a disguise but then she grew to love it. BUT I DIGRESS KNSHFJW)

All this to say I think that’s why I tiptoe around everything I say online… I am SO scared of ruffling feathers, but I know that fandoms are places for like! Having fun! And it’s not a big deal! And it doesn’t affect my real life! But like idk.. I just hate the idea of being hated by anyone. I’m sure that I ANNOY some people, and that’s whatever; I talk a lot and make overly personal posts sometimes (like this lol) but I don’t wanna be HATED yk? And idek if it’s better to be hated and ostracized publicly or resented in secret by people who still interact with you… :( Agh. If you ever have an issue with me, please DM me instead of letting it build up into something worse!

ANYWAY LIKE.. with fandom stuff. Idk. I want to have fun! I want to write and post things on Tumblr and AO3 etc but I am just very scared of peoples’ opinions, especially now that I have a decently popular/well-liked longfic in DnDads. For some reason I have convinced myself that writing bad or self-indulgent NSFW will make everyone hate me lmao. Like girl the POINT of fanfic is to be self-indulgent……….. sigh I need to get out more

^ light-hearted… but also kinda true haha. I stay at home a lot just bc I don’t have many reasons to go out atm and only a handful of close friends to go out with. Hopefully that will change when I move next semester lol. And whenever I get interests, they’re VERY strong and long-lasting, and fanfic writing is one of my main hobbies, so I get REALLY into online communities. And rn that is kind of my little niche fandom Tumblr bubble… which is embarrassing and probably unhealthy but whatever. I just inevitably get a lot of anxiety about things that are important/fun to me (bc OCD), especially bc I’ve never really had mutuals/‘friends’ in a fandom before this, excluding my irls

Anyway this got longer and more vent-y than I intended so I will tag accordingly, and sorry to whoever is reading this lol; I just wanted to get my thoughts written down in a public forum bc idk… Makes me feel less insane when ik other people can see it, too. Helps me not take it too seriously and spiral lol.

[edwardshundredyearoldspunk]

…

[bylertruther]

me when season five airs and The Big Reveals are mike's sexuality and will's love for mike bc mike has always known he's loved will but he hasn't always been comfortable with his sexuality and will has always known what he is but he didn't always know that what he felt for mike was that kind of love until it was already too late and thus the source of his pain has been jealousy + unrequited love

[rigginsstreet]

i was talking to my friend earlier whos a teacher (we’re in florida) and i was complaining about all the bullshit laws and bannings that have been going on re: dont say gay bill + the mess going on with in classroom libraries and she said the most buckwild shit to me i hadnt even considered, which is that she works at a catholic school, so ironically none of these legislation apply to them. so like yeah its a catholic school its not like being gay or trans is being openly discussed but also shes not at risk of losing her job for not outing kids lmfao absolute insane behavior!

[strwbrymlkshake]

Why can't I be satisfied with everything? It needs to be perfect to me and I can't accept anything otherwise :(

[trainingdummyrabbit]

me, experiencing the horrors: >:( art shouldnt just be whats most consumable!!! we should do what makes us happy, its an expression of who we are as people and nobody should judge us or our value for that!!!

also me, drawing what i want: Oh God My Art Isnt Marketable Enough :(