#gold mine of chemistry right there

[goldfades]

evangeline's 2.5k fic rec list + celly information !!

before we get into it, i wanted to get a little sentimental because hitting this amount of followers has always been a dream of mine. i made this blog in august of 2023, in hopes of creating a family whom i can talk to and just... be around. and i did just that!

i love every single one of those 2,500 of you, full heartedly and so genuinely. i may not have interacted with every single one of you, but you are all part of my family here and i really, really do 🫶🏼

if you came for hockey or for women's basketball, i don't care i just love you. you're the best, thank you for supporting me and for making my life so much better and more rewarding!

and to my wonderful moots who always make me feel so loved, I LOVE & SUPPORT YOU SO DAMN MUCH!!!!! it is indescribable how much i love you so much 🩷. every single one of you make me feel so grateful and loved, thank you 🫶🏼

take a shot every time i say "love" in this message... you're gonna be blackout drunk...

FIC REC LIST 2024

bold is nsfw! minors dni!

𝐍𝐇𝐋

⟡ jack hughes ⟡

➜ who's afraid of little old me? @babydollmarauders

➜ i'm no goddess @drysdalesv

⟡ quinn hughes ⟡

➜ a view to remember @sweetestdesire

⟡ luke hughes ⟡

➜ goodbye too soon @sc0tters

⟡ trevor zegras ⟡

➜ just a kiss @sweetestdesire

𝐖𝐎𝐌𝐄𝐍'𝐒 𝐁𝐀𝐒𝐊𝐄𝐓𝐁𝐀𝐋𝐋

⟡ paige bueckers ⟡

➜ seven [series] @iminlovewithpaigebueckers

➜ sometimes home is a person @iminlovewithpaigebueckers

➜ fuck the hurt right outta you @makethemhoesmad

➜ false god @makethemhoesmad

➜ sneaky link w chemistry series @arlertwhore

➜ gf headcanons @euphternal

➜ baby daddy @caitlinbueckers

➜ are you done yet? @girlokwhatever

➜ marks of my love @girlokwhatever

➜ overstim @bueckersstrap

➜ imgonnagetyouback @leilanihours

➜ the ask [series] @sweetbans29

➜ throw away [series] @bueckersstrap

⟡ azzi fudd ⟡

➜ if you think i'm pretty @makethemhoesmad

➜ i need you @makethemhoesmad

➜ gf headcanons @paigebueckersmommy

➜ gf headcanons @pbueckerslover

➜ strap @kamii-2

⟡ kk arnold ⟡

➜ gf headcanons @paigebueckersmommy

➜ gf headcanons @mokassong

➜ lunch @luvzpagie

➜ glitter gloss @luvzpagie

➜ caught @mokassong

➜ locker of petals @patscorner

⟡ nika muhl ⟡

➜ grillz @paigebueckersmommy

➜ gf headcanons @paigebueckersmommy

➜ everything @leilanihours

➜ lunch @jareaul0ver

➜ so high school @jareaul0ver

➜ courtside @lovinpelova

➜ domestic headcanons @mayghosts

⟡ caitlin clark ⟡

➜ fuck it [series?] @caitlinbueckers

➜ so high school @leilanihours

➜ dress @leilanihours

➜ be here @sweetbans29

➜ friendship bracelet @sweetbans29

➜ protector @sweetbans29

⟡ kate martin ⟡

➜ good girl @makethemhoesmad

➜ uh oh @girlokwhatever

➜ gold rush @leilanihours

⟡ emily engstler ⟡

➜ make you feel good @girlokwhatever

➜ end of beginnings @girlokwhatever

➜ coach emily headcanons @euphternal

CELEBRATION (THROUGH FRIDAY 05/30/24 UNTIL MONDAY 06/03/24)

[this celebration is not happening as of right now (may 27), it will be active on friday! please do not send anything until friday!!!! thank you, my loves!!!!]

all requests need to be send with a prompt to make it easier for me! any prompt is okay (whether you made it up or found it online, it's okay!) here is a list of prompts if you can't think of any! also make sure to be specific which exact prompt you want, i would prefer you to copy and paste it!

angsty prompt list #1

angsty prompt list #2

fluffy prompt list #1

fluffy prompt list #2

smutty prompt list #1

smutty prompt list #2

🍀 send this & i will write a short fluffy blurb for you!

🌪️ send this & i will write a short angsty blurb for you!

🥭 send this & i will write a short smutty blurb for you!

🥧 send this & a scenario you've been thinking about, and i'll write some headcanons and/or a blurb!

again, thank you to everyone who has ever supported me in any way, shape or form! i love you so fucking much like genuinely, BUT ANYWAYSSS!!!!!!!!

[sonamytrash]

Lust For Life

Levi Ackerman x F!reader

Warnings: Sex, oral sex, fingering, creampie, more sex.

Note: Purely self-indulgent smut. Inspired by Lust For Life by Lana Del Rey ft The Weekend. Song fic, but the lyrics are in a different font, so skip if you like. I left it a little open to interpretation. Levi and reader have been apart for some time, having been in a past relationship. At last reunited they fuck on his desk. Enjoy!

_____________________

In these stolen moments,

The world is mine,

There's nobody here, just us together,

Keepin' me hot like July forever,

He reaches out and gently tucks a strand of hair behind your ear, the proximity between the two of you making him feel alive again.

"You were always worth treating well," he says, his eyes locked with yours. "I never wanted to do anything to hurt you."

He leans in closer to you, the proximity between the two of you causing his heart to race. "I still care about you," he says, his voice barely above a whisper. "I always have, and I always will."

'Cause we're the masters of our own fate

We're the captains of our own souls

He leans in and presses his lips to yours, the kiss full of longing and tenderness. All the years you have spent apart, all the pain and suffering, melt away in that moment,

There's no way for us to come away

'Cause boy we're gold, boy we're gold

And I was like

The kiss between you and Levi grows deeper and drips with passion. His tongue explores your mouth and tastes every inch of you. The electric chemistry that exists between the two of you is palpable, each knowing exactly what the other desires. After all, you have danced this dance so many times before. Your bodies entwine together, the heat and passion impossible to ignore. Completely lost in one another.

Take off, take off

Take off all your clothes

Take off, take off

Take off all your clothes

Take off, take off

Take off all of your clothes

His hand finds its way to the back of your neck as he deepens the kiss, his tongue exploring your mouth hungrily. He moans into the kiss as he feels one hand trailing down his chest, another finding the waistband of his trousers, fingers working on the button. He groans as your hand travels south, caressing his hardness through the confinement of his clothes, the sensation driving him wild with desire.

They say only the good die young

That just ain't right

'Cause we're having too much fun

Too much fun tonight, yeah

One of your hands finds its way back to his muscular chest, having discarded his shirt. Removing each other's clothes, desperate to be as close as physically possible. Years of longing and desire, having been apart for so much time.

And a lust for life, and a lust for life

Keeps us alive, keeps us alive

And a lust for life, and a lust for life

Keeps us alive, keeps us alive

Levi groans loudly as he feels your hand now wrap around his cock, the sensation driving him wild with pleasure. He had missed your touch so much, and now that he's finally here, it feels like a dream. You had always known just how to drive him wild and cloud his thoughts with nothing but you.

He uses his rough hands to caress your breasts, feeling your nipples hardening against his palms. He can feel the wetness seeping through your panties, and he can't resist dipping his fingers down to tease your clit.

'Til we run out of breath, gotta dance 'til we die

You kiss along his jaw and neck, slowly pumping his cock in your hands "Remember the things we used to do together Vi, dirty teenagers fucking like animals everywhere and anywhere." You say seductively, reminding him of the days where he would pull you into an alley or storehouse to fuck you senseless. A wanton moan escapes your lips when you feel those fingers you've missed so, so much.

My boyfriend's back

And he's cooler than ever

There's no more night, blue skies forever

Levi groans as he feels your lips on his neck and the feel of your hands pumping his cock, every touch and moan you bestow upon him, driving him wild with lust.

He can't help but smile at the memory of your wild teenage years, filled with sex and passion. The two of you sneaking around to fuck in the most risqué of places, always craving the feel of each other's bodies.

'Cause we're the masters of our own fate

We're the captains of our own souls

So there's no need for us to hesitate

We're all alone. Let's take control

"I remember," he says, his voice husky with desire. "I could never get enough of you, y/n. And I still evidently fucking can't." He says almost breathless.

And I was like

Take off, take off

Take off all your clothes

Take off, take off

Take off all your clothes

Take off, take off

Take off all of your clothes

He runs his fingers along your slit, the wetness making it easy to slide in between your folds, back into familiar territory. "I want to make you scream my name again," he whispers lustily in your ear. "That was always my favourite sound."

They say only the good die young

That just ain't right

'Cause we're having too much fun

Too much fun tonight, yeah

Levi groans at the feeling of your soft pussy clenching around his fingers, the thought of the sensation around his cock after so long. He loves the way your body sings for him, the way your pussy sucks him in hungrily.

And a lust for life, and a lust for life

And a lust for life, and a lust for life

Without any more hesitation, he picks you up by the hips and sets you down on his desk, spreading your legs wide open. Kneeling down between your thighs, breathing in your sweet scent before his tongue begins lapping at your wetness hungrily.

Keeps us alive, keeps us alive

Keeps us alive, keeps us alive

He sucks on your clit, fingers playing with your folds as he explores and enjoys every inch of you with his tongue again after so long apart, the picture of you having been etched into memory. The sensation is intense and the pleasure that he delivers almost too much.

"You're so fucking wet," he whispers seductively against your skin. "I've missed the taste of you, y/n."

Levi continues to lick and suck on your clit hungrily, worshipping the temple that is your body. He had missed this so much, missed the feel of you under his tongue, the taste of you, and the sound of your moans as they fill the room.

He speeds up the pace, his tongue working harder while he adds another finger into the mix. He plunges two fingers deep inside of you, working them in and out while his tongue laps at your folds.

My boyfriend's back

And he's cooler than ever

You come undone as he devours your cunt. Arching your back in pleasure as your orgasm rips through you.

There's no more night, blue skies forever

I told you twice in our love letter

There's no stopping now, green lights forever

Levi continues to work his fingers inside of you, lost in the pleasure of making you cum. Desperately trying to resist the urge to hump the air as his cock twitches in anticipation for the heaven he knows is yet to come.

You moan his name loudly, your body shaking with the force of your orgasm.

He drinks up every drop of your sweet nectar, the taste of you driving him wild with desire. He stands up, kissing you deeply and passionately as he shares the taste of your essence with you.

"You taste incredible, you always do," he coos, hands gripping your hips tightly. "I want to be inside of you so badly. I need to mould this pussy back to the shape of my cock." He says, telling you what he's going to do rather than asking.

You look at him, eyes heavy with lust "Fuck me levi." you pant, your legs open wide and your fingers spreading your swollen cunt for him to see before he stretches you on his cock.

And I was like,

Take off, take off

Take off all your clothes

Levi growls at your words, he positions himself between your legs, his cock hard and throbbing with need as he readies himself at your entrance.

Without warning, he plunges himself deep inside of you, feeling the warm wetness of your body enveloping him in a tight embrace.

Take off, take off

Take off all your clothes

"Fuck" he hisses, almost a whimper. "You feel so fucking good." he grunts, hips slamming hard into your own. "I've missed the feeling of your pussy around my cock like this."

As he thrusts into you again and again, he can feel the pleasure building inside of you once more, your moans becoming louder and more desperate with each passing moment.

"This pussy was made for me."

Take off, take off

Take off all of your clothes

He picks up the pace, gripping your hips tightly, thrusting harder and faster into you as you both become one. The sound of your moans fill the room, your bodies moving together for what feels like eternity.

And a lust for life, and a lust for life

He can't get enough of the sound of you and the sight of you quivering from pleasure, as you cum again on his cock, tits bouncing from his relentless movements, he relishes the feeling of your tight pussy squeezing him. With one final thrust, he feels his cock pulsing inside of you as he reaches his own orgasm, hot cum spurting deep inside of you as his cock kisses your cervix.

Keeps us alive, keeps us alive

He kisses you deeply, the taste of your lips forever etched into his memory. He knows that there's nothing in the world that he wouldn't do for you, nothing that would stop him from loving you endlessly, worshipping you for the rest of his life.

[a-court-of-lust-and-stardust]

Love on Ice: An Illustrated Semi-Modern Elriel Fanfic

Yes, you absolutely read that right.

Together, @chachachai17 and I have been working tirelessly to create something wonderful for not only our friends, but also fellow Elriels.

What happens when you put an artist and a writer together? You get an illustrated fanfic.

@chachachai17 has created so many incredible pieces of art to go along with the chapters. She is a wonderful friend of mine, and I’m sure some of you have already seen her beautiful work. You will be SPOILED. 💖

A few things to note:

I have permission from Charlie to be posting her artwork.

This fanfic and Charlie’s artwork will be posted on my Ao3 account ( obsidian_witch ) and my tumblr! Charlie’s artwork can also be found on her tumblr ( @chachachai17 ) and her twitter ( @cha_chachai )

Chapter 1 will be posted tomorrow.

Blurb and Cover Art for the fic below 💖

A few months before Prythian’s Annual Ice Dancing Competition, Elain Archeron’s partner Lucien Vanserra drops out of the competition, leaving Elain to scramble for a replacement. Desperation drives her straight into the arms of Azriel, former ice dancer turned star hockey player. Teaming up with her teenage rival is certainly not her first choice, but Azriel’s skill, precision, and grace, coupled with the undeniable chemistry between them, may be Elain’s only shot at winning the gold.

[anintriguedintrovert]

It's just lazy writing honestly. Saying that you want to develop a "mature relationship" between two characters and killing off the female character to fuel man pain is such a tired and dirty trope.

And from his own words in that article - caryl falling in love is "obvious" and "easy" and such a "TV book of tricks" (again - all of these words could have different interpretations.)

Like, my dude, "friends to lovers" is an old but gold timeless trope for a reason. UNLIKE, introducing a female character and killing her to serve the male character's man pain (if that is the route they are in fact taking - I would rather her live or have her death serve some larger/meaningful purpose - bcoz yes...i can't imagine Daryl and Isabelle together - they have known each other for two months and most it has been her lying to him/manipulating him - my man deserves better BUT I also want female characters to be treated fairly) Forcing a relationship between her and Daryl so that the audience would feel more for her when she dies - and completely reducing her death to prop up Daryl is NOT the way to go. Give her a meaningful arc and real/clear/grounded motives and emotional depth.

Also - can we like backtrack here for a minute - saying that making Caryl romantic would be too easy - is like the most ridiculous thing I have heard in a while. Besides the fact that they are both incredibly complex and layered characters of their own right (the best to come out of TWDU imho) - their shared journey is such a gold mine in terms of potential - there is angst, real emotional stakes and conflicts, so much freaking build up that was already established (I mean the entire s10 arc was basically the angst-iest fanfiction to ever fanfiction) - and underneath it all - a bond/understanding/love that is so revered by so many (even the non-carylers). AND - the chemistry between the actors is the perfect cherry on top of this fantabulous sundae. I mean, u can create a whole rom com and a half out of it.

The easy route is pairing Daryl up with a character like Isabelle. Because it doesn't take much creativity or much thinking honestly.

In short, if you are going to go with a TV trope - plz don't put your bets on something as tired and tedious as reducing a female characters death so that the man can cry a few tears. Go with the tried and tested and timeless dynamic so many ppl root for (I mean - I only recently joined twitter to get updates on the Book of Carol - and twdcaryl has been trending for like three days straight now - and that Entire hype is created by carylers- they are out there dissecting every teeny tiny bts pic that we get from s3 - and creating fan art and just non stopping talking about it.)

I only finished twd a few months backs and since then, have been obsessed with this dynamic. I can't say I have hopes for canon. And I have never once interacted with this fandom beyond liking posts and devouring caryl fanfiction from so many talented writers here. But this article just seems like the dumbest decision ever (like why dig your own grave)

Me about Caryl...

[amanita-muscaria-lover]

Iron Flame lines that have altered my brain chemistry:

"She made her choice, and it wasn't you. It will never be you."

"I'd rather you scream at me than pretend everything is all right with silence."

"then what about the wabern, or whatever you called them?"

"Do I know something about the Archives that you don't?"

"And I still don't regret it, Vi. Not one second."

"You're all right... I'll be right here. I'm not going to leave you."

I look up into the wrath of Dunne in the form of gold-flecked onyx eyes.

"My heart only beats as long as yours does, and when you die, I'll meet Malek at your side."

The entire cliff, above and below, echoes it, as if the gryphons grieve the loss of the flier as one.

"You've earned an honorable death."

"My house. My chair. My woman."

"Look at how beautiful you are, Violet, coming for me on Tyrrendor's throne."

"That trick you mentioned? You know, with the fingers? Thanks."

"I fucking love you."

"I'm sorry. I choose your life, too. You are mine. I can't let you die."

"Less than a minute."

[fandoms-are-my-friends-1321]

Adoring Stands

Here’s another JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure fanfic! I love Mista with my whole heart, and I came up with this idea the other day and had to write it down. As always gif and characters are not mine, and if anyone would like to make a request, please feel free to ask!

Description: Guido Mista’s stand, Six Bullets, absolutely adore the reader, and they love to show the bullets affection in return. When Mista tries to rest after an exhausting mission, he is greeted by an adorable sight.

Warnings: cursing, mentions of fighting and violence from the mission, otherwise none (if I miss something though, don’t be afraid to point it out!)

After a successful mission, the Bucciarati gang loved to go back to the Libeccio for a five course dinner. Bruno spared no expense when it came to boosting the moral of his comrades, and each person took their seat in their usual spots. Abbachio sat to Mista’s left, his headphones playing classical music as he drank from his wine glass. To Mista’s right was Y/N L/N, the newest member of the team, followed by Fugo and Narancia. Bruno and Giorno sat across from Y/N and Mista.

“Excellent work today, Y/N. I must say your fighting skills continue to impress me.” Bruno commented as he took a bite from his garlic bread.

Y/N gave a slight smile as they bowed their head in respect. “Thank you, Bucciarati, but the mission would have failed without the help from the rest of the team.”

“Come on, don’t be so modest! You totally kicked that stand user’s ass.” Mista playfully nudged Y/N in the ribs, and they returned the favor by punching him in the shoulder. Narancia snickered at Mista and Y/N’s antics, and the rest shared knowing looks. The chemistry between the two of them had always been present, and the others loved to tease Mista about when he would make an actual move.

“What are you laughing at, uomo idiota?” Mista asked as he glared at Narancia. 

The younger boy laughed even harder as he twirled spaghetti around on his fork. “It’s nothing, Mista. You’ll figure it out eventually.”

The group continued to eat in silence, or it was silent until Mista’s stand, Six Bullets, complained about their own hunger. They all tried to climb up onto Mista’s plate to steal some of his food, except for Number Five, who had been punched by Number Three and knocked back onto the table. Number Five rubbed his swollen gold cheek as he started to cry, but Y/N quickly scooped them up into their hand.

“Easy now, Number Five, there’s no need for tears. Number three may pick on you, but you are just as valuable as the other bullets. Here, I saved you a little something.” Y/N offered part of their tiramisu cake to Number Five, and the bullet squealed happily as it pulled the dessert off the fork. Number Five quickly shoved the coffee-flavored cake into their mouth before the others caught them in the act.

Number Five hurried back to the group, and they whispered to Number One the kind deed that Y/N had done, hoping to earn some brownie points with the leader of the group. Of course, this wasn’t the first time that Y/N had slipped the Six Bullets desserts or extra snacks on the side apart from what Mista gave them, but it still excited each of them every time.

One by one, the other bullets sneaked off to steal some tiramisu from Y/N, trying their best not to catch Mista’s attention, but he wasn’t a fool. “Y/N! I told you not to sneak extra snacks to these guys! The last thing they need is coffee, especially since I will be the one dealing with the aftermath.” Mista shook his head, but Y/N simply giggled as they looked towards the Six Bullets.

“Do you all promise me you won’t trouble Mista? I would appreciate it if you take it easy on him, and if you behave, I might be able to spare a macaron or two.”

“We promise, Y/N!” The bullets replied in unison, causing Mista to shake his head at them, but Y/N noticed the start of a smile on the Italian’s face. After lunch came to a close, the Bucciarati gang headed back to their secluded hide out to rest. Bruno told them that it would be better if everyone lay low for a while in case other enemy stand users were still searching for them. Fugo and Narancia sat down on the couch in the common room of their hideout since Fugo promised that he would help Narancia with arithmetic problems. Bruno sat at the table by the window drinking a cup of tea and recording the details of the mission. Abbacchio sat across from Bruno listening to Monteverdi, taking a moment to reach across the table and take hold of Bruno’s hand. The capo smiled at the gesture and rubbed his thumb against the back of Abbacchio’s hand. Giorno worked on trimming a bonsai tree that had been a basket a few moments earlier before he transformed it with Golden Wind. The atmosphere radiated with tranquility, that is until Mista started pacing the floor.

The flirty interaction between him and Y/N was not the first, and yet the more time that passed the more that Mista felt something growing deep in his chest. It felt warm and comforting, but at the same time it made his stomach twist into nervous knots. The others told him numerous times that the feelings he experienced each moment he stood beside Y/N was love, but Mista still had some uncertainty. What if Y/N flirted with him for fun? It wouldn’t be the first time someone played with his feelings and left when boredom took over. “I’m going to go lay down for a while. Maybe some rest will help clear my head.” Mista walked down the hall and opened the door to the room he typically slept in.

Mista expected to see an empty bed, but the sight in front of him made his heart leap with joy and astonishment. Y/N laid on their back, their favorite blanket tangled over their legs as their eyes remained closed. The Six Bullets were curled up on Y/N’s chest, also in deep states of sleep. Number Five snored lightly as they nuzzled into the soft fabric of Y/N’s shirt. Mista grinned from ear to ear at the sight in front of him, and he thought to himself that this moment was sweeter than the chocolate cake he had for dessert that afternoon.

Trying his best not to wake Y/N or any of the Six Bullets, Mista crept over to the dresser and sat his hat on the oak furniture, running a hand through his curly locks. He crossed over to the side of the bed that looked the most spacious and settled into the spot. Mista leaned over and lightly touched Y/N’s shoulder. “Hey, you’re hogging my bed, bellissima.”

Y/N let out a groggy mumble as they opened their eyes. Their chest felt heavier than usual, and as soon as they looked down to see what was causing the weight difference, they noticed that the Six Bullets were still snoozing away. “I’m so sorry, Mista,” Y/N apologized. “I thought you were busy, and these guys were ready for their nap, so I offered them a comfortable place to rest. It appears I dozed off myself.”

Mista brushed the back of his knuckles against Y/N’s cheek, causing them to blush. “No need to apologize, especially after the ass kicking you did during our mission today. You deserve the rest, and clearly my Six Bullets are in the same boat.” It was Mista’s turn to blush as he glanced away to look out the window. “They really seem to like you Y/N, adore you is more accurate, and they aren’t the only ones who adore you with all their heart.”

Y/N gasped at Mista’s confession, but they could feel their heart swell with joy from his sentimental words. Y/N had developed feelings for Mista months ago, but after so many failed relationships, they thought that it would be impossible for someone like Mista to reciprocate the feelings. They reached for his hand, and Mista turned back to face Y/N. “I think you should lay down and rest a while too, Mista. I would say that you look even more attractive when you are exhausted, but I wouldn’t dare lie to the person I’ve had a crush on for months.”

A chuckle rumbled from Mista’s chest as he reclined on the bed and wrapped an arm around Y/N’s waist, pulling them closer into his warm embrace. The Six Bullets seemed to enjoy the extra warmth from Mista’s sweater as well, and for once in a long time, Mista felt at peace. “I’m glad to hear that you would not lie to me, tesoro, because now that you have confessed your feelings too, I will be by your side for as long as I live.”

Tag list: @pansexualtimcurryvampireelf

Y/N hummed as their eyes drooped shut, sleep taking over once again. Mista fell into his own peaceful dreams, but none of them could compare to his current reality where his dream had already come true.

[soup-scope]

DUN DUN!

You have been bitten by the mutual virus. To cure yourself, you must provide one reason why you follow each of your mutuals before sending this to others (whether mutuals or not) while in anon.

Good luck!

This… is gonna be so long…..

@star-sheeps : absolutely fucking hilarious. i always catch myself giggling whenever i see one of ur posts!! i also loved the ‘styling the listeners’ lil series u were doing i love fashion content sm. you were also one of the first people i followed when i first joined the redacted fandom🫡🫡

@caramel-metal : you somehow find the funniest shit to ever exist. your blog is a genuine gold mine for content i would’ve have seen otherwise it’s so‼️‼️‼️‼️

@taelonsamada : i thought it was a mistake when u followed me back 😭😭 but ī absolutely ADORE your writing. i constantly find myself rereading between me you and the fence post ehehehe. i’m gonna be ordering your new book soon and i’ve been vibrating at a frequency that’s impossible to witness with the naked eye (translation: im very excited)

@davidsfanclub : ANOTHER PERSON THAT MAKES ME GIGGLE. i loved ur angel design the first time i saw them and it’s genuinely infected and rotted my brain like THATS how i see angel too now omg. a very creative mind that makes me want to nibble on it

@artbykays : another person who i thought followed me back by mistake. *THE* best listener designs omg. THE ANGEL DESIGN EVER. AAAAAAAAAAAA. i genuinely love ur redacted art sm i had heart palpitations the day u followed me back

@basiliskbrews : another one of my first moots!!! i love citrus with a burning passion. i witnessed u rebrand ur blog and i still absolutely adore all and any content you put out. your vega and warden design has me frothing and convulsing on the ground like a fish abandoned on a deck.

@mothmayhem : I MISS YOU💕💕💕 another moot that has me giggling and kicking my feet. constantly has me twirling my hair and laughing ehehehe. i still can’t get over how you CALLED the david and asher proposals like dawg. how

@beedoes-stuff : GIGGLE ALERT. aka another moot that makes me laugh my ass off. not only do u post absolute bangers you have a tendency to reblog them too and i always have to put my phone down for a few mins

@themonotonysyndrome : it took me three tries to spell ur user right. we got another castin lover in this house 🤝🤝 i want to bite you on the head and then maul you. (all said with love and extreme amounts of affection) I LOVE HOW U TALK ABOUT BRIGHT AAAAA. i want to take a gigantic chunk out of ur writing i love it sm it has me rolling around and flailing

@falkea : MISS YOU💕💕. THE ANGEL DESIGN THAT EXECUTED ME ON THE SPOT. i hit the floor when u followed me back like my mouth was AGAPE. your quinn and darlin art genuinely changed my brain chemistry i will never be the same. a very big art inspiration for me. i shake with anticipation whenever i wait for ur next posts.

@vaselinepot : sometimes all you need is a silly lil moot who says the funniest shit unprompted. sometimes i have to put my phone down and breathe. i miss u vaseline come home

@darlin-collins : ANOTHER MOOT THAT MAKES ME LAUGH. YALL ARE FUNNY AS FUCK. however whenever you talk about the imperium i have to mentally prepare myself to be mentally and physically crushed.

@jollyfang : I LOVE THE REDACTED ART SM AAAAAA. another person who’s follow sent me into cardiac arrest. THE GAVIN DESIGN THAT HAD ME SWEATING. i love how you draw portraits it has me falling in love with ur art all over again when i see that u post.

@thevqid : i think we need to sit down and have a talk. idk about what. i just know that one of us isn’t leaving that room alive. said with all the love i can possibly muster. i love u tho💕💕

@beemybella : genuinely one of the sweetest people i’ve ever interacted with. i love being on ur tag list smth whenever you post it tosses me out of artblock and FILLS me with inspiration 💕💕

@konnorhasapen : PIRATE AU PIRATE AU AAAAAAAAA. i love your writing sm i need to be beaten back with a stick. i’m going to fist fight with you in a parking lot one of these days. i’m so glad you made it back into ur account. i love u sm from afar i feel like a maiden waiting for her husband to return home from the war.

@bratty-telepath : so shape. so shape. i love how stylized your work is. make an art book. please. graphic design IS your passion like pls spare some good character designs and interesting layouts for the rest of us. another moot who id be down the fist fight. this is a fight that i know id get my ass kicked during tho. like my body bent at angles no one is capable of. said with love ofc

@lovesstateofmatter : i always forget we’re moots until you interact with my shit and i bounce around for 5 minutes straight. YOUR BLAKE AND ELLIOT ART. I STILL THINK ABOUT IT. that’s fr how i imagine them now 😭😭

@friendly-waffles : TANKTANKTANKTANKTANK I LOBE UR TANK DESIGJ SM AAAAAAA. AND ANGEL AAAAA. i want to bite your art and SHAKE like a rabid animal. i think about ur sam and darlin art daily. i hit the floor when we became moots

@peraltuki : THE WWDITS X REDACTED VIDS 😭😭 we joined the redacted tumblr at like the same time so i feel a bonded connection to u. ily. you have the best fucking posts they have me sobbing on the floor (cause i giggle too hard)

@doodleanddie : your redacted doodles killed me, sent me to heaven, then dragged me back down to hell and then reincarnated me as a fly. i love ur art and all ur doodles have so much character it’s WILD. (i miss u💕)

@epsi-l0n - your thoughts are so incredibly big brained i want to pick apart ur brain and take a few bites while i’m at it. i think if we fought it’d be the battle of the ages. simply because i think we both *CANT* fight so it’d just be entertaining to every witness

@dollvre : VINCENT STAN HIIIIII. finding another vincent lover and taylor swift enjoyer in this fandom had my brain exploding. tell me what zsakuva videos i should watch. i’m too indecisive to choose what series i want to get into. i think we need to hold hands and exchange rings 👍

@mrsmiagreer : Niyah i would genuinely kill for you. tell me a name. or names. plural. i would quite literally do anything for you. say the word. BUT I LOVE UR WRITING SM PLS MAKE A TAGLIST PLS

@oceanicwhitetipshark : whenever i feel myself drifting from redacted. i get a notif that you’ve posted and i’m immediately pulled back in by all ur writings and your thoughts. ur genuinely so talented and so incredibly sweet di i’m very glad we’re moots

@kelseadelle : i’ve never loved women more in my entire life. the way u draw has me wanting to sacrifice myself to the nearest woman for no reason other than that they’re a woman. your evie and ranger art. id give anything to be a werewolf.

@romeo-the-homeo : there can only be one trans jackass in the redacted fandom there isn’t enough room for the both of us. we should totally combine our physical forms and ascend to a higher form of being. and then get a wendy’s frosty or smth.

@plutobutartsy : stella. LIGHT OF MY LIFE💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕 I LOVE UR DESIGNS SM YOUR ART IS SO BEAUTIFUL I LOVE HOW YOU SEE THE LISTENERS AAAAA. YOUR FAITHFUL DESIGN HAS SHOT ME THROUGH THE HEART ILY AAAAAAA

@clover-46 : whenever smth messy happens i always appear in ur dms 😭😭 i love obsessing over hush with you and giggling in our dms💕💕. YOUR DESIGNS SLAP SO HARD. i hope you know that i think of your milo design on the daily. he’s my little girlfriend and i’ve never wanted anything more in my entire life

@celestecreateschaos : trying to type out ur user gave me an aneurysm. I ALSO MISS GEORDI SM WHERE IS HE. you’re genuinely so funny you constantly have me giggling. i wanna tape an x-ray of ur brain to my wall.

@venuslove-28-replies : HIIIIOIOIIIIOOOOEDIIWIWISIDOW. one of these days i’m going to shake you so hard you come apart like a mr potato head. your art has me wanting to bite you and not let go. all your designs have me AAAAKAOSAIKALA

@peacefullibrarian : i will never get over that one piece of writing u did about lasko and his listener. the “like the fan” has me slamming myself into the ground imagining them interacting. make a tag list. make a tagLIST RN AND ADD ME

@morgansplace : hi king i’m going to evict you from this plane of existence. (translation: i love you and i love how incredibly creative you are. i want to eat ur nails. i think we could solve all the worlds problems if we held hands and spun in a circle until we fell over from dizziness. i think it’d be nice)

@heshheshfish : omw to send u a cease a desist. your walls are very comfortable. i have officially devoured all tress-passers who have crossed my unwelcome path. i only accept offerings in the form of whole blocks of cheddar cheese. (translation: hi hehe)

@teaseat : i don’t think i can genuinely put into words how much i love u tea. you have me CACKLING. and other days you have me needing to put down my phone to take a minute. anyways. IN SO GLAD IM IN UR TAGLIST HEHEHE I LOVE UR WRITING SM AAAAAAA

@deviantaj : you make me want to listen to marina and the diamonds and then kill someone. aj ily. you make me giggle. i think if we were ever put into the same room we’d probably cause a cataclysmic event that no one could ever recover from.

@swanconcerto : HOLLYYYYYYYYYYUEJFJE. ily holly my favorite person to ever exist you have me twirling my hair and giggling i’d give anything to exist in ur presence. holly i am in ur basement.

@messenger-of-stupidity : i love your writing so much it has completely rewired my brain i think we should tussle outside and then hold pinky’s or smth. THE VEGA LOVE>>>>> i wait with baited breath for your vega fic

@shawslut : i love ur blog layout sm how do you do it. we both go by ray/rae so i think maybe we should do a lil dance to decide which ones superior. your geordi fic had me wanting to test the sharpness of my new kitchen knives. i will eat you one of these days.

@4letteraroace : i want to bite your hands so bad bro. i still think about ur darlin dance fic. now i know nothing about dance but i could fucking picture what was going on and it HURT. i think your keyboard deserves to be taken away. it should also be taken away because of how u interact with lemon on a daily basis 😭😭

@milosirlgf : hi jaydyn i think one of these days you’ll genuinely rule the world so pls remember that i am nothing but ur undying servant hi. i’m going to empty my life savings in ur name.

@terrazaurio : YOUR DAVID AND ANGEL DESIGN AAAAAAAAA RAHHHHHHHH. i want to bite someone’s head off. i get horrific cute aggression whenever i see your work. i think if we ever existed in the same section of the universe the space time continuum would collapse

@goodboyaudios : i think we should fist fight.

@tunasfishbowl : i think we should paint each others nails and then watch horror movies. tuna ur designs have me gasping for air on a daily basis i lost my mind when we became moots.

@yoteako : THE LASKO DESIGN EVER. INCREDIBLE WOLF BOY DESIGNS. i lobe how u draw them as grown men. idk if that makes any sense but it does to me. also enlightened me to the idea that is vega and brachium omg the most brain idea ever. when we became moots i breakdanced on the hardwood floor

@echovale052 : HI ECHOOO i’m taking a few chomps out of all of ur works like your art style is so pleasant i wanna EAT IT. i think that if we fought we’d probably end up destroying a few small towns.

@kittyshaw : HI REIIIIIII 💕💕💕💕 genuinely one of my fav people. you have the best takes and omg i love ur headcanons sm. i am going to eat ur brain one of these days. any second you aren’t moving i’m only getting closer

@lovelylonerliterature : i’ve read your cutie/geordi fix it fic an ungodly amount of times. (also a shadows appeal……) i love ur writing and interpretations of the redacted characters so much. your ability to capture angst has me wanting to throw myself into the abyss.

@elisacaleisa : another user i struggled to spell 💔💔. THE BEST MORGAN DESIYJ IVE EVER SEEN THATS MY MAN THATS MY WIFE I LOST MY SHIT M.LWFIIWKSJWIWO. i’m going to bite and shake your gavin design. i think our brains should combine at some point for fun

@sweetlemongrove : Lemon u are the light of my life. please make a taglist and add me to it. i love you. THE LOMLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL. also ur blog layout is so pretty what.

I LOVE YOU ALL MOOTS‼️‼️‼️

(Ok but in all seriousness. This is my first time ever really fully interacting with a fandom and not just lurk. To be able to interact with an incredibly creative and kind fandom has been a pleasure :)))) thank you all for all the work you do!!!!)

[ckret2]

youve gotten a few asks about billford before, and your plans for ford's relationship with bill in your fic, but im curious if you personally ship it yourself/*like* it. and, just for the hell of it, if you have any opinion on billdip too, since that one's even more controversial.

I'm gonna put most of this under a cut since it's not only long, but also long about two different topics, but the tl;dr is:

Yeah, I'm a fan of billford. I don't think it's canon, inevitable, or necessary to their dynamic, and I'm still on the fence about whether things will tilt toward the romantic in my fic or if it'll stay platonic, but I do enjoy the ship a lot because it has a lot of (obsessive, weird, unhealthy, angsty) elements that interest me to explore in ships. Billdip, on the other hand, does nothing for me. I don't care about how people ship imaginary characters in their fictional fandoms and I'm not gonna block anybody for liking it, so this isn't a moral stance, here—I just don't like it personally.

One of the things that intrigues me most about a ship is the idea of love that's gone so far it isn't even love anymore but punched out the other side into unhealthy obsession, and "I'll spend the next thirty years of my life hunting you to death" versus "What if I turn you into a gold statue and carry you around to stare at you a lot" sure fit right into "unhealthy obsession." On top of that, some of my favorite ship dynamics are:

the worshiper and the person they've picked to revere as their god, either metaphorically or literally—with bonus points if the person they've devoted themself to doesn't deserve that worship and maybe isn't even all that special, and the worship actually reveals more about the mind of the lover than it does about the (un)divine nature of the beloved

the mad scientist and the muse who gives them ideas and inspires their work (one of my all-time OTPs has a line where the mad scientist says to his ex "we were each the muse to the other"), with bonus points if they both get so caught up in "what can we do together? What dreams can we make reality—" that they plunge into full "so preoccupied with whether or not they could, they didn't stop to think if they should" territory—and bonus bonus points if they eventually come out of the haze of SCIENCE and one of them is horrified by what they've done... but maybe the other one isn't.

two people who are wildly compatible with each other (similar hobbies, tastes, worldviews! they fill in the gaps in each other's personalities! they each happen to be the other's type! they understand each other like no one else can! whatever, fill in the blank!), but for some reason one betrayed the other, they've tried to kill each other, and now things are vicious and bloody and painful and raw between them; but if they talk to each other and accidentally let their guards down for even a split second, all that history is still there, they still like the same stupid movies and share the same stupid inside jokes no one else will ever understand and have the same stupid complementary life dreams, they could have been good for each other, but there's no road back to where they were before the betrayal. Their chemistry is like two huge magnets strapped to land mines: the attraction is as powerful as ever but heaven help them both if they ever touch.

or, alternatively, two people that have all that chemistry, but are just really toxic and do bad things when they're together and enable all each other's worst tendencies, even if they don't necessarily do bad things to each other; and they've got to navigate the fact that they might adore each other so much but they are objectively worse people when they're together.

I like ships with inhuman things. As a writer I like waxing romantic about the inhuman things and trying to convince the reader that yes, this too is beautiful and lovable when seen through the eyes of a lover. I will make you take the stupidest love interest seriously for five minutes. I've romanticized a sticky pile of goo, I've romanticized a robot spider, I've romanticized the concept of being a disembodied voice, I've romanticized a pteranodon made out of lava, and I'll romanticize a cyclopic gold-plated corn chip too, don't test me. Who better to adore a sentient triangle than a scientist-artist who sees the beauty in precise angles?

Depending on the headcanons and/or AUs you're working with, you can get all of these pretty darn easily out of Billford.

I like writing Ford as the awed naive intellectual, hungry for knowledge, for the secrets of the universe, for more, who was utterly dazzled and starstruck by this divinity who tantalized him with esoteric secrets—and who's been furious at Bill for thirty years for betraying him, hurting him, threatening his home and everyone he loves, but underneath all that also furious at him for not being what he advertised when he could have been that; and Bill, meanwhile, playing it cool, far too comfortable playing the role of faux god, but privately, secretly distraught that his favorite "student"—the one who takes Bill's "teachings" and gets creative and inventive with them, the one who always wanted to know more, not just about the universe but about Bill personally—his favorite student no longer worships him, doesn't even respect him, doesn't even see him as an equal, but looks at him like he's the scum of the universe, and Bill won't even admit that it bothers him but it's killing him that nothing he does can get his favorite to so much as smile at him again.

That's the dynamic in my head when I write them. You could play it as purely professional, a god disappointed to lose a worshiper like a boss disappointed to lose his best employee or a celebrity disappointed to lose the president of his fan club; or you could play it like platonic friendship, maybe a QPR; or you could play it like a romance. I like the zest added when you toss romance into this already nasty mess of emotions. I like capping off all that heartache with, "—and if things had turned out differently, maybe I would have taken your hand and traveled with you to the ends of eternity, if only you weren't [such a brutal heartless backstabbing piece of shit]/[unable to forgive a few white lies and some light torture]."

Billdip, on the other hand, does absolutely nothing for me. Not even just for the age reason—that does squick me out, but even if I try to look at it like "okay pretend he's aged up" or "stick it in an AU where they're both dumb kids having dumb kid crushes" I just, see nothing there. I don't even see anything there platonically. Like, legitimately—for the fic I'm working on, I've been trying to figure out what kind of dynamic/interactions they'd have beyond just "Dipper scowls at Bill a lot" and even on that level I've been struggling to think of something compelling between them. I look back on the fact that for a good few years billdip was the ship in the fandom and I go, "why? where's the meat? what do they do for each other?"

I'm forced to imagine that the ship must have been based on some combination of "fandoms naturally want to ship the everyman main character with the charismatic fun villain," "a bunch of teens with crushes on Bill were using Dipper as their self-insert stand-in," and "people assumed Bill wasn't lying when he said Dipper impressed him and didn't start revising that opinion until we got to see firsthand that he uses lines like that on everybody." It feels really uncharitable of me to the shippers to assume that their OTP is founded entirely on statistically average fandom trends and character misinterpretations rather than, like, y'know, traits actually present in the characters, so I'm taking it on faith that there's probably more to it than that and I just don't see it because it just ain't my jam.

When I do try to speculate harder on "how would I get them to interact with each other in a compelling way, like, just in a platonic sense?" my brain starts going "well, dipper's a nerd who's into the paranormal, he wants to know about mysterious things? maybe he's fascinated with bill as a mysterious thing? and maybe... idk, why would bill give a hoot about dipper—maybe bill takes advantage of that fascination, tempts him with more information, maybe he's amused by Dipper's curiosity about weird things—?" and that's usually about the point where I go "this is just, the way Bill and Ford met. This is the watered-down junior version of Bill and Ford's first few weeks." In trying to figure out what the heck Bill and Dipper would even talk about I keep accidentally recreating a less interesting version of Bill and Ford's dynamic.

I want and need Bill and Dipper to have an interesting character dynamic in this fic so being unable to come up with something that personally compels me has been actively frustrating me lmfao, but it does serve to illustrate my main point here: man, billdip does nothing for me so hard that I can't even see them platonically interacting.

[urelvisgirl018]

elvis and the 68’ special 😉

(elvis and susan henning more specifically)

you are a performer for elvis’ upcoming special, when you feel a strong sexual tension drawing you toward him…

tw: i’m not rly sure of the warnings to put here but this is kinda dirty smut sooo like 15+. first time writing smut let me know how i did and if you have requests let me know!

love u ❤️❤️❤️

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

you and elvis had chemistry. everyone knew it, the way that you two connected on screen was like nothing before. you had been working with him as a dancer for his 68’ comeback special to be aired on NBC for about a week now, and you were ready for it to be done.

you liked working with elvis and all, but it felt as though he was almost playing with you. you both knew he was married, with a new little girl named lisa marie. still, he toyed with you and teased you. making you feel like a bitch in heat whenever he was near. the way that he would dance with you on screen, how his hot wet lips were almost touching yours, his eyes searching deep in your soul making you feel things you know you shouldn’t. it’s almost like he knew that you touched yourself to the thought of him everynight.

we were working on a scene that we just couldn’t get right. elvis was supposed to seemingly “choose” one of the many women depicted in the scene. the past girls that he had chosen the scene didn’t come out well. this time he picked me. the music started playing as he sat down in a red chair surrounded by “whores” in skimpy pink outfits. he looks at me with the sweltering look in his eye and uses his long slender finger to tell me to come here. the camera was rolling and i tried my best to hide how nervous i was, i was totally gonna fuck this up. as i approach elvis, wide in his manspread with the first four buttons of his dress shirt unbutton, a glimpse of his raven chest hair poking out i was growing even more nervous.

i stand right in front of him as he grabs my cheek with his hot hand making our faces meet. he then drags his thumb along my lip pulling his face closer to mine. the moment felt so real i thought he was actually going to kiss me on screen when the director yelled “cut!”. we didn’t look away from eachother, both of our chests heaving.

“EP we got it! that was sick man”. elvis eventually looks away from me to go talk to his director. he seemed pleased with the cut. I threw on my jacket and started to make my way out of the studio when i felt a hand on my shoulder

“honey wait, where you going?” elvis’ deep southern drawl called after me. i stared at him and started to explain how i was going home, “well why don’t you come keep me some company honey, you sure worked you’re ass off today huh? let me treat you”. I nodded and smiled wanting to spend time with him we went back to his dressing room.

he opens the door for me and i am met with a dimly lit dressing room. a vanity in the corner and a plush sofa sitting adjacent from it. his personal bathroom was next to the vanity. some of his clothes were hung up on a rack as well as a picture of baby lisa marie on the wall right beside it. I walked in and sat down on the sofa.

elvis began unbuttoning his shirt further down and loosening his ascot. “I’m so happy we got that scene done today honey. i’m so sick of this, jus wan be done”. I hummed in response not knowing what to say. he went to go change in the bathroom, and came back out in a black silk robe. his initials imprinted in gold on his chest.

he sat down next to me on the couch and brought me a glass of white wine. i sipped it slowly as we began to talk about some of the other scenes that were bothering him. the room eventually fell quiet. “your daughter is very beautiful elvis”. he looked at me and smiled, “she is my whole heart, didn’t know i could love somethin that much”. i smiled then laughed wanting to bring up his wife, “what about priscilla?” he rubbed his face in stress. “i jus don’t know honey. i mean i love her sure but.. im jus not happy”.

i looked at him with concern. “i-im so sorry elvis. i wish i could help you somehow” he took a deep sigh and said “there’s not much you can do for me honey. what bout you? are you happy doll?” i sat in thought for a minute. am i happy? i don’t really have a love life and i only talk to my parents. i was quite lonely in reality. i looked back at elvis and shrugged “i don’t really know, im just kinda lonely i guess” i began talking about myself and explaining my loneliness and longing to elvis when i eventually started to cry. pretty soon after he started comforting me his long warm hand rubbing up and down my leg. his other hand petting my hair over and over again. i leaned my head on his shoulder.

“shhh baby don’t cry, there’s nothin we can’t fix” his deep southern drawl was very comforting and sexy at the same time, my sadness turning into arousal.

his hand wrapping around my thigh when i could feel my panties start to get wet. i looked up at him through half lidded eyes, he was smiling down at me. i hummed contently and began to hug him.

he moved his head so that his mouth met my ear, his hot breath tingling my ear lobe… “let me help you honey. let me love on ya” my eyes went wide, i wasn’t sure that i had heard him correctly. i sat up with wide eyes.

“what?” elvis looked at me with a smile and put both of his hands on my cheeks and said “baby i know you feel it too, please.. j-just let me love you” you didn’t have a second to relax before he kissed you. his plump red lips meeting and moving with yours. you grabbed on to his cheeks and slid your hands into his hair moaning into his mouth. it was perfect like your lips and tounges were meant to be with eachother, two pieces of a puzzle. elvis pulled away panting, looking through your eyes for a reaction he asked “are you sure bout this honey? i-i mean we can st-“ you interrupted him. you had never been more sure of anything in my entire life. “elvis, please keep going” you practically moaned. he put his mouth back on yours in an instant.

you began to slide your hands down his back revealing his chest from his robe. you slid your hands along his raven chest hair and tugged on a little bit, he laughed then growled in your mouth.

elvis lifted your shirt above your head and took your bra off, breasts now on full display for him. you looked down and you could see his cock pressing up against his stomach from inside his robe. a sight you wish you could have tattooed in your brain.

elvis began kissing and sucking on your neck releasing tiny moans and giggles from you. eventually elvis got down to your breasts, taking his time with each of your hard nipples. he took the first one into his hot mouth and rolled his tounge around the sensitive bud. you looked down at him as he met your eyes and you played with his hair. you moaned lightly and tugged on his hair resulting him to lightly bite on your nipple.

you laughed at him as he started moving even further down your body taking off the rest of the pink outfit that you had worn for the scene you shot. you were left in just your pink thong, he began to lower his face as he smiled at you. you began breathing heavier needing a release from his mouth. he moved his tounge on your inner thighs driving you crazy.

you tried to move his head closer to your core.. “nuh uh honey, be patient” you giggled and let him take his time. he started your clit from the outside of your panties. the feeling was irresistible as his hot wet tounge was almost touching you.

he licked a stripe up your panties from your hole to your clit making you breathe even harder. he moved your panties to the side and began sucking on your clit and rolling his hot tounge around it. you threw your head back onto the arm of the couch and began to tighten your legs together, however elvis held them apart. “fuck elvis” you moaned, he began to thrust two fingers in and out of you as he sucked on your clit.

his warm fingers pulsating in and out of you while his warm tounge sucked on your clit made you a moaning mess. you were writhing under his touch before he pulled away, your juices left on his face while he licked them off. “not yet baby, i want you to cum while i’m inside of you”. you smiled at him as he removed his robe. his cock was huge and veiny, you weren’t even sure it was going to fit.

elvis lined himself up with your entrance. the tip of his cock sliding around your wet pussy making you even more wet. “you sure baby?“ elvis asked with half lidded eyes. he looked as though he couldn’t control himself anymore. he tried to slide into you slowly, both of you moaning loudly until you covered your mouth with your hand.

elvis moved your hand away from your mouth and kissed each of your fingertips while his cock was deep inside you pulsing. “let em hear you honey”.

he started sliding in and out of you at a medium pace both of you moaning erratically and heavily breathing while you listened to the sounds of his cock driving in and out of your pussy.

he moved your knee up so he had better access to your pussy and grunted. “such a good fuckin girl”. your eyes rolled back into your head as you moaned loudly “fuck elvis fuck!”. he smiled and titled his head back while pumping into you, giving you the perfect view of his sideburns and his adam’s apple.

his cock was hitting the exact spot inside your pussy that you needed. you were clenching around his cock as your back arched, your nipples hard. “you gonna cum baby?” he said. “y-yeah elvis fuck”. he dove his face into your neck and began kissing you as you slid your hands through his hair as you came, writing with pleasure. “good girl baby, that’s a good girl” elvis softly purred in your ear. “can ya keep going baby or you need me to stop?” he looked at you with concern. you kissed his lips passionately, “keep going” you said breathlessly.

elvis hopped off the couch and picked you up bridal style, you giggled and kicked your legs. he brought you over to the vanity so that you could see you and elvis naked in the mirror. he positioned you so that your leg was up on the vanity table. a perfect position for his access. “i’m gonna fuck you while you watch baby, you deserve this”.

you looked back at him in awe as he pounded into you animalistically. growling and grunting, sweat dripping down his face as he was coming closer to his release. he pulled on your hair pounding into you from the back, moans coming from the back of your throat you felt his hand snake around to the front of your pussy.

he began rubbing tiny circles over your clit, you moaned elvis’ name loudly. “you can take it baby, cmon baby take it” he grunted into your ear. your pussy continued clenching around his cock, like you two were made for eachother. two bodies moving with eachother in a perfect harmony.

your legs began shaking and your body hit its climax as you came on elvis’ cock. you came down from your high breathing heavily, looking at elvis pumping into you from behind in the mirror made you smile with content.

“want me to cum in you baby?” you moaned in delight, his cock twitching inside of you and his pumps becoming slower. “cum so deep inside me, fuck elvis”. his cock pumped his juices deep into your pussy feeling warm.

you liked the feeling of being filled with elvis. you rested your head back on his chest, both of you breathing heavily. your legs were still shaking when elvis removed himself. you could see his white warm cum dripping out of you from the mirror. “wanna bath baby?”

you looked back at elvis who was turning on the bath water. “yeah that sounds great”. he came over and scooped you up bridal style, knowing that your legs wouldn’t work.

he set you in the bathtub and then climbed in right behind you. you laid back on to his chest as he began to whisper sweet things into your ear. you couldn’t remember when you had felt more loved.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[writing-biting]

Just pick a random one, based on vibes. Or read these bad summaries

three little words: lego monkie kid, kind of a warm up for practicing the characters, shadowpeach is horrible at communicating, wasn't supposed to be more than a one shot but temptation got my ass. G rn, but with communication and boredom, might shoot all the way up to E

Get the Key, Stop the Krang: rottmnt, Casey Junior ends up going back to before the show and proceeds to get help stopping the Krang from the unlikeliest of places because the turtles are like two years younger than him and he thinks he can do everything himself. I think this is T, but it might be M for the violence

Pull the Strings (Mine or Yours): Undertale AUs, I haven't touched this one in ages because I've kind of lost the thread of the plot. Was supposed to be an origin story for an au I have. M for violence and kidnapping and starvation and abuse

Icarus: rottmnt donnie ends up in 2012 tmnt because he 'flew too close to the sun'. he sucks at existing in 12 because of incompatible physics and has to relearn everything, and recover from really shitty lab accident injuries. Might be a timeloop fic, we'll see. M for violence

What Do We Fight For?: bay and 2012 (and eventually 2003) end up in rise, specifically in the Battle Nexus. M for Major Character Death and violence.

Tang Sanzhang thing I haven't named yet: I may have made an 'everything is shittier' version of the LMK version of Journey to the West, and this is in exploration of my version of the Gold Cicada's character. (used the word version too many times oh well) unrated

Tmnt fairy reboot: draxum, a chemistry student, makes a very cool ooze and runs right over to an wildlife rehabilitation center to show his boyfriend Yoshi. Yoshi is like wow, nice ooze, stop bringing your chemistry to my job you're gonna get me fired and Draxum is like, it's literally fine, nothing will happ- and then the beaker explodes in their faces. It covers the turtle section of the center, and get everywhere. Now, the turtles are growing hands and feet and shit. Instead of facing the consequences of their actions, they grab the turtles and book it. They run away to, idk somewhere cold that has forests, uhh Minnesota, and move into a small town that doesn't ask too many questions next to a fairy infested forest. Honestly I'm not actually sure how this is a tmnt reboot besides the fact that there are turtles, but still. Probably gonna be T if it ends up existing, we'll see

other???: probably gonna grab one of the aus off the ol' brain shelf, write something and then show it to no one.

Help me. Hit a random button 🙏 do it for your local gorgeous dykeboy 💗💓🥺

[cialovesklopp]

𝐂𝐔𝐏𝐈𝐃’𝐒 𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐅𝐄𝐂𝐓 𝐌𝐀𝐓𝐂𝐇

—𝓼𝓾𝓶𝓶𝓪𝓻𝔂: in which evan and his girlfriend go public, leaving a scorned amara behind who’s talent is questioned

masterlist

𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐈𝐓 𝐊𝐄𝐄𝐏𝐒 𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐆! Just a few weeks ago both were seen walking around in New York, holding hands and, we might as well say it, acting like two teenagers completely in love, with the way both could not stop smiling at each other. And finally yesterday, millionaire heartthrob and model confirm their relationship by proudly parading the red carpet to the MTV Movie awards. Henderson and Gerber could not stop smiling at each other, stealing sneaky kisses in between every second with a love struck look we haven’t seen on Henderson for a long time — it seems love is in the air in Hollywood.

From inside sources, we know that the singer does not seem to cope very well with the break-up. After a nervous breakdown at her last concert in Nice, Imani cancelled her entire europe tour, announcing the news this morning over her social media platform. She also declined to show up at the MTV awards, just after Henderson and Gerber confirmed their presence. It appears as if Amara Imani has gone into hiding. Was this really the right choice?

But the more we think about it, the clearer it gets.Amara Imani was simply never cut out for the celebrity scene. She may have shortly convinced us that she had a place at the top with the others but let’s be brutally honest — she has no more than what we haven’t heard already from the Beyoncés and Taylor Swifts. The only connection ever made to her was the title of “Evan Henderson’s Girlfriend”.

It’s obvious that the singer had obviously been given the benefit of the doubt after appearing on a track with Beyoncé and stunning the world. but not everything that shines is gold. And Amara Imani proved this with her second, very forgettable album. The time where everyone expected her, the singer left her fans empty handed with an average album, which makes us question of course: Have we been too soft on her?

In comparison to Henderson’s new flame Kaia Gerber, Amara Imani is paling very quickly. While we can all recognise the talent Gerber has inherited from her parents in the fashion world, we’re all left thinking, “Where is Amara Imani’s Talent?”. One cannot help but wonder if her lack of talent is coming with her inability to seize good opportunities and career choices.

Especially because her discography is so forgettable. Imani had saved herself from falling by bringing out hits like “mine” or “jealous” but the more played, the more bored they got and one is remembered, they were only short successes. Now her days as Henderson’s flame are nothing more than memories, making her lose all relevance she ever had. With his new flame by his side — that is, may we add even loved by mum and dad Henderson — has he finally upgraded to a woman of his level?

Perhaps, it is time for Amara to say goodbye to the business and step aside. After all, it is clear that except her relationship, which is gone now too, Amara Imani is not able to convince anyone of her talent. And after failing to even keeping Henderson’s heart, what is she truly worth?

When asked whether he thinks he holds any responsibility for his ex-girlfriend’s absence, Henderson answered, “She will get over it. She’s just a sore loser who knows she wouldn’t have won anything tonight. And it’s not like it was truly working between us.”

Some hard words from her ex-boyfriend and yet they have never been more true. Even with the dust settling, and Henderson and Imani’s scandal taking different turns for each of them, one cannot deny the true chemistry between the new star couple. And Amara will have to live in the shadow of that couple.

So is Amara Imani really worth her place in the music industry?

𝐒𝐎𝐂𝐈𝐀𝐋 𝐌𝐄𝐃𝐈𝐀:

[chiniece-curlygirlystory]

Girlhood + Makeup

My first experience with makeup came in the form of a cheap princess makeup set that came with a pair of high heels shoes to imitate the popular glass slipper from Disney’s “Cinderella”. Clip-on earrings, rings, and beaded necklaces intended to mimic diamonds we all know diamonds are a girl's best friend personally I'm more of a gold or pearl girly but I digress we all had this set or some variation of it. I’d dress up in little heels barely able to walk in them, lips properly glossed, peel off nail polish on my fingers with glittery eyeshadow across my eyelids the perfect embodiment of the prettiest girl in the world, well at least in my mind at that age. I often think about the fact that at an early age as girls, we’re given very few options at developmental stages in our lives when it comes to what could be our interests. We’re given baby dolls, cooking sets, make-up, and jewelry-making kits to keep our hands busy. We’re indoctrinated early on into the mindset to be focused on our looks and this translates into our older years switching out the cheaply manufactured make-up palettes to more expensive make-up kits equipped with the necessary items to perfectly conceal any imperfections that we may have. I had no interest in makeup after those days of enjoying the children's make-up sets. At most, I would use flavored lip gloss that came in an array of colours that wouldn't show on your lips but they were pretty to look at. Until I was a bit older maybe around 15 years old, again the influence of my eldest sister, she properly introduced me to make-up, and again for the first time, I had this feeling of fireworks going off in my mind. That initial “WOW”  I could look so pretty in a whole different form that  I had never known. Again I was sitting on the chair in front of the mirror my hair freshly done on my wonky kinky twists and now my face done well with a sparly shimmer shadow almost mirroring how it was done in my early years. The bold red lip didn't suit me at all but I  felt so pretty at that moment I didn't care. Something about that changes your brain chemistry as a young girl wearing makeup for the first time simply to go nowhere getting ready with your eldest sister It is quite remarkable and to this day I long for that experience once again. I'm very glad that I can still look back on that memory fondly and not with any type of disdain. Others have different experiences making their relationship with makeup more negative than mine and see it as a form of oppression. For me make-up is something that brought me joy simply because I didn't feel pressured or made to believe that it was something I needed I was reassured by my sister throughout the whole process that I was perfect with or without it makeup added to my natural beauty. I knew this before but the words of affirmation were very much needed for me to keep a great relationship with makeup. Even now when I wear my simple false eyelashes, brown lip liner coconut scented lip gloss over the top, and my blush I feel that same amount of confidence that I would have with a bare face. 

       I believe all women are pretty without makeup, but  with the right makeup can be pretty powerful

   -Your favourtie Curly Girly

[mermaidsirennikita]

Thank you so much for all your detailed recommendations!! I'm a picky reader and often disappointed by recs from my real life friends so this blog is like a gold mine to me.

Given how much you've read in the genre, I'm curious what makes a really great romance in your opinion? And are there any flaws in a romance novel you just can't look past?

You're so welcome! I enjoy doing it. I too am often disappointed by RL recs lol. Currently, I don't know that my tastes always align with what's happening in trad publishing, so I kind of have to look off the beaten path for books myself.

I hope you don't mind me publishing my answers, because I find this really interesting.

As for what makes a great romance novel--for me, I think that big feeling is what takes a romance into greatness. Taking the love story that extra mile, taking the risk that really moves me? That's what takes it to another level. And I do tend to love big swings and risks; that does often make a book appeal to me more. But that's because those big swings tend to yield a higher volume of emotion.

And that doesn't mean every book has to be like... As dramatic as Dreaming of You, or Mafia Madman, or Lothaire. Heated Rivalry is a novel I love with all my heart, which I've re-read multiple times. It is, in many ways, a slice of life book. The plot is the character development and emotion. However, those emotions are challenging, and not easy, and I found myself completely and utterly invested in the character development as a result. I could say the same of a book like The Duke Gets Even--really, more of a character book than a plot book. Nobody does anything INSANE. But it feels like people have their hearts on the line, and that's what I want. To me, you can have a good romance without that sense of "oh my God, I am losing my head to this" in the story. But I don't know if you can have a GREAT one without it.

I think some of the BEST romances have a moment where you're genuinely like "I know there's an HEA, but I am kind of sweating it right now".

There are flaws I can't look past. Aside from the more political ones, I'd say what I can't really get over is:

--A lack of tension. To go back to Heated Rivalry--nobody is in danger of dying in that book. But people do have their careers and personal lives at stake. Even a "brother's best friend" contemporary romcom can have stakes (what if someone finds out) though... in some ways, I think a contemporary romcom is kind of more difficult to write than some of the alternatives. Because it is harder to add stakes to scenarios that aren't really THAT big a deal. You need to pitch the emotion in a big way.

But yeah. If a book is just two people feeling relatively comfortable, I don't want it. What am I reading for?

--Conversely, if the tension is forced... we've got a problem. Again, this is a tough needle to thread with contemporary romcoms, and the threading is usually in the character development. I'll use a non-Heated Rivalry example lol. In a contemporary romance I recently loved, Kristen Callihan's The Friend Zone, nobody is going to die if Gray and Ivy ruin the friendship and get together and then break up. But Callihan spends a lot of the book making you recognize how much those two value and lean on each other, so the stakes feel higher. Additionally, she gives both Gray and Ivy backgrounds that shape how big and risky crossing that line feels for them. She WEAVES these aspects into the story, rather than word vomiting at us. She writes good chemistry.

All of these things add to the tension. Whereas tbh, a lot of books I've read recently have had this incredibly forced sense of stakes. These are books wherein I'm like "okay, but you're a grown woman, why do you CARE if your brother finds out you're fucking his bestie" (this is just a tough one to pull off with adult contemporaries, let's be super real). It feels incredibly contrived, and I'm gonna be real. The only way you can handle this is with good writing. There are subpar writers who can make books work if the story itself is a good concept, even if it's not as good as it could've been had a better writer been working on it. But to me, if a story is simple, the writing needs to be good to beef it up.

--Going back to contemporaries... Oooh, boy, I can't do the "he's kinda conservative and learns the errors of his ways when he falls for her" thing in recently published books. It's not that the guy needs to be perfectly on the up and up (more on that in a minute). But when I read a book set in 2024 and the guy calls women "females" (and it isn't a demon/vampire/whatever lol) and talks about how crazy women are, whatever... Nah. That's a no from me. It's like--what's his excuse? He's not in the 1800s. He's not a warlord. He's FRED FROM WORK. I deal with that shit enough in real life to know that it's not something I want to have to fix.

--Conversely, I also think there's something really boring and bad about books right now, regardless of the genre, that feel like they're ticking Acceptable Behavior Boxes. Like, the amount of times I've read books where... and I'll be honest here... there is TOO MUCH asking for consent? Yes yes, it's all nice and good.

But is it something that feels authentic to human behavior? Yes. A quick "you sure?" is one thing. When a hero sits back and is like "[heroine], I want to make sure you're comfortable and that we're both fully consenting" I'm like... who the fuck talks like this during a random hookup lmao.

And this is FICTION. When I constantly see the rhythm of a scene--not even a sex scene, all the time--interrupted so that a character, usually the hero (which in itself feels kind of weird, as men aren't the only ones who can violate consent) can give a spiel about how very aware he is... It feels so fake lmao. FAKENESS is the big flaw here.

A really good example of this sort of... over-awareness, imo, is Lisa Kleypas removing the kiss in the dark scene from the prologue of Secrets of a Summer Night. The scene before literally just has a quick kiss--nothing more--between Simon and Annabelle when a room goes dark. He doesn't ask for consent. He kisses her. She doesn't flip out. It's intriguing. It's fine. To me, the fact that this was overthought to the point that the scene was removed... You FEEL that kind of calculation, and the calculation and artificiality that comes with it really fucks with a book for me. (See: the changes to It Happened One Autumn, on a bigger scale. Those changes ruin a great book.)

I'm sue there's more I can't deal with lol, but those are some of the issues!

[joandfriedrich]

Hi! I was wondering what’s your top 3 favorite Jo and Friedrich moments?

Only 3? Hmm, that's tricky, I am going to have to break it down from book to adaptations. Let me just say it right now, the best scene ever regarding these two is the Under the Umbrella, that is just a given, (one day I'll rank the best Under the Umbrella scene on screen) but let's look at some other moments that deserve love.

Book:

3: Sometime after Beth's death, Jo finds an old note that Friedrich wrote that reads "Wait for me, my friend. I may be a little late, but I shall surely come." And the narration shares that the original meaning has changed into something more tender, and her wishing that he would be here. Chapter 42, “All Alone”

2: After coming to Concord and meeting Jo's family, Friedrich returns to his room, pulls out a picture of Jo and kissed it, and the narration saying how if Jo saw this moment, her doubts of whether Friedrich loved her back would be squashed. Chapter 43 “Surprises”

1: Jo defending Friedrich from Laurie's dashing, calling him old, and her, at first confused since she doesn't consider him old and thought he was speaking of Mr. Laurence, calls Friedrich her best friend next to Laurie, and warns him not to "abuse my professor" (not the professor, but my professor). The early signs of her feelings were so clear there, even Laurie saw it before she did. Chapter 35 "Heartache"

Adaptations:

3: 2017 miniseries has a small but really sweet moment. When Jo is returning home, Friedrich sneaks into Jo's hands violets, which is a moment in the book, but it just says "she began her solitary journey with a pleasant memory of a familiar face smiling its farewell, a bunch of violets to keep her company", it didn't specify if it was Friedrich that gave them to her, so I like they made it clear. Bonus: according to the Victorian flower language, violets mean "faithfulness".

2: Utterly underrated is the 2018 modern day film, and it is a gold mine for Jo and Friedrich shippers, but one that I enjoy greatly, and it is their version of the Under the Umbrella scene (I know, I am cheating), but what makes me need to mention it here is that it's different from the book in the best way possible. Freddy visits her home after receiving her draft, and he gets to see the attic that defined her childhood. It's intimate, tender and romantic, with wonderful acting and chemistry from their actors.

1: The opera scene in the 1994 film. This was the best idea of an addition I have ever seen, and it really shows just how it could be that she would fall for Friedrich, and the brilliant acting and chemistry between Winona Ryder and Gabriel Byrne really seals the deal. If you watched this scene and didn't swoon, then I truly think there is something wrong with you.

Thank you for this ask, it was fun!

[the-eclectic-wonderer]

Tag someone you want to know AND/OR some of your besties.

I was tagged by @valentinaonthemoon, my sweetest mutual! Thank you!

Favourite colour: warm shades of yellow (think gold yellow or sunglow yellow).

Last song: Dreams by The Cranberries (thank you, Derry Girls!)

Last movie: Anastasia (1997). My brother mentioned he'd never seen it, and I simply had to show it to him. It's as magical as i remember. The last new movie (as in, not a rewatch) I watched was Asteroid City by Wes Anderson, which left such an impression on me I still rant about it regularly with the friend I saw it with. It was an incredible experience!

Currently watching: The Golden Girls! I'm having such a blast - it's hilarious, the girls have amazing chemistry and interactions, and its treatment of 'charged' themes (regarding eg sexuality, gender identity, poverty, race, having/not having children etc) holds up surprisingly well for a show that was made between 1985 and 1992. It's easy to see why it's so well-liked. I'm also watching season 2 of Loki, and enjoying it very much! I haven't really posted anything about it yet because I'm watching with family, and we're quite behind schedule. So no spoilers, please!

Other stuff I watched this year: Oh, dear. I don't remember all of them, but let's see... I rewatched Steven Universe, Steven Universe Future and Brooklyn Nine-Nine in the first few months of the year, but I don't remember watching anything new in particular (although I remember playing a lot of videogames - that's probably why). I caught up with the new season of the lovely Only Murders In The Building just in time to theorize about the last four episodes or so (and this season was so so so good, I think it's become my favourite!), and I watched S2 of Our Flag Means Death as it aired (I still haven't recovered from the ending of Ep. 3, good heavens). A dear friend recommended Derry Girls to me a couple of weeks back; I finished it just a few days ago and loved it to bits. It completely broke my heart and put it back together in such a gentle, caring way - instant favourite. And then, of course, although I haven't talked about it all that much, I've also watched Good Omens, season 2. And then rewatched Season 1. And then rewatched both in Italian, to check out the translation. And then rewatched them both in English, because I missed the original voices. I might have a bit of a problem.

Shows I dropped this year/didn’t finish: I don't recall anything specific this year, but the last season and a half of The Marvelous Mrs Maisel has been hanging above my head for a while. I reached a point in the story where the second-hand embarrassment was so intense I couldn't bear to keep watching, and it's been haunting me ever since. I'd love to get back into it, eventually, when I find the courage.

Currently reading: The Blackwater series, by Michael McDowell. I'm not usually a fan of horror, but the cover art captured my attention, and before I knew it the story had captivated me completely. I'm also re-reading and annotating A Girl's Story (which is a horrible translation of the original title, Mémoire de fille) by Annie Ernaux for my book club. It's a poignant, thought-provoking work, and a truly deserved Nobel prize winner.

Currently listening to: Mr. Hozier decided to drop his new album at precisely the right time to twist the knife into my Good Omens heartbreak, and so it was inevitable I'd end up listening to his stuff a whole lot. Jokes aside, Unreal Unearth is phenomenal and has made me cry a lot of tears so far. Then we have some sparse stuff (Glenn Miller, Queen, Kate Bush) and some rock - mostly Greta van Fleet (Starcatcher) and Voyager (Colours in the Sun and Fearless in Love). The most recent addition to the roster is the new album by Rebecca Sugar, Spiral Bound (Good Morning Afternoon has quickly become a new favourite of mine).

Currently working on: a couple of WIP fanfics, planning for Christmas gifts.

Current obsession: Listen. Listen. If you follow me, you know. You know what my current obsession is. Good Omens has filled my every waking thought since July 28th, 2023 and I have made it everyone's problem for months. (I'm not sorry about it, by the way. i did warn you all.) At this point, I'm guessing this new obsession will sustain me at least until season 3 drops.

This was really fun, thank you @valentinaonthemoon! I honestly can't choose someone to tag, so - if you got this far and would like to tell the world about your interests, please consider this your official invite. And tag me if you do it! Enjoy!

[fae-fucker]

Review: Of Goblins and Gold by Emma Hamm

Oops forgor to post this review here lmao :')

So ... I read the prequel to this book and hated it with a passion of a thousand suns. You might be asking, "Ok you hater, why go back to read the actual book it's based on?"

Mutliple reasons. 1) I am a hater. 2) I wanted to see if the author would put more effort into her solo projects/proper books. 3) A friend of mine tried to read it and failed, and I am nothing if not a martyr. 4) Yeah?? Maybe I want to read a story with a hot Goblin King in it? I didn't grow up watching The Labyrinth, I'm a little younger than most who did (and also not American), but just the words "Goblin King" are enough to perk my cat ear headphones.

Basically, I was curious, and I wanted to give this book a chance. Against my better judgment, clearly.

I'll cut to the chase: the writing is very poor. Like, to the point where I wasn't sure about the target demographic of this book, that's how juvenile and simplistic it was. Slightly better than the prose in the prequel short story, but only marginally. It reads like something for lower middle grade kids, it has this fairytale quality that's less dreamy and more "Oh, this could be a picture book." To illustrate my point, I literally, physically recoiled when I read the word "fuck" being uttered by a character, because it was so sudden and jarring amidst what had been, up to that point, Freya sees ball, see Freya run.

The writing isn't helped by quite poor and derivative characterization, the nonsense worldbuilding, and the shaky and confusing plot.

Freya is a fae-hating, determined young woman who totally isn't an off-brand Feyre (and I say this as an SJM hater, so being an off-brand copy of a shitty character is not great), and the Gerblin Shmerblin is a ... star-themed hot guy in a billowing shirt. Cool. Great. They don't have chemistry as much as they have scenes together and interact with each other. I understand Jareth and his magic bulge was the sexual awakening for many, and you will not get that here.

My biggest problem with this here book is the plot, and the ... themes? Morals? Where do I even begin?

Freya is understandably distrustful of goblins because her parents taught her to be. Esther is ... not. So Esther runs away with a goblin boy, and Freya thinks that she's been kidnapped because she finds a threatening note saying so (that I don't remember if it's ever explained who wrote it), and sets out to save her. She encounters the Gorblin Shmorblin, who challenges her to a game to fetch mystical artefacts from each of the four courts. Which she does, very easily. It apparently takes her weeks, though some of that time she spends brainwashed, I suppose. We then find out that it was easy on purpose, because the Gablin Mamblin wanted her to win for some reason?

Spoiler warning because I have to go into some very confusing things that honestly won't really spoil anything because it's hard to make sense of what's exactly being spoiled.

[Spoiler start]

Basically, the Gobbo Bobbo knew Esther came willingly, but also wanted Freya to think she didn't so she would fight to get her back, but also he wanted her to succeed along the way, but also he tried to trick her into getting frozen for eternity, but also he wanted to get her to join him in his court, but also he didn't care about Esther at all and was just doing this to amuse Freya because he saw that she was too special for her mundane life and wanted more from it and he was there to provide that excitement by being the villain in her story? I honestly could not tell you his motivations at all. I don't understand why he didn't just show Esther to Freya right away, cleared up the misunderstanding, and then try to seduce/lure Freya in the way he attempts it at the end of the book, while Freya still believes he stole Esther? Of course he'd fail then! It's made clear that Freya staying with him is very important, so why did he waste all that time toying with her for shits and giggles? It makes no sense. And at the end, when it shows that Freya winning was a huge mistake, him toying around with Freya like this made no sense at all. If so much was at stake, why did he fuck around? What was his actual motivation? What did he want? Yeah, read the sequels etc, but the reader still needs to have some idea of a character's motivations in order to connect with them and, important in a romance novel, root for the romance to happen! The narrative attempts to paint him as this manipulative mastermind, and yeah, he's one of those things, but we have no idea what goal he's manipulating Freya towards at all. In the end, it just looks like he fucked up real bad. Tried to swing his dick around and got it stuck in a blender type shit.

[Spoiler end]

The way this book handles Freya's prejudice leaves a weird taste in my mouth. As per my review of Stolen Goblin Bride, Esther is an insufferable brat who is always right and who never gets punished for hurting those around her, particularly Freya. The narrative and other characters encourage Esther to act like an asshole, because Esther is Good and Pure and Righteous and anything she does is automatically correct, even when she knows it'll hurt her sister. And even in Freya's own story, Esther is vindicated in the end. This book confirms what was hinted at in Stolen Goblin Bride: Esther is always right, and Freya is always wrong. It's honestly kind of gross and uncomfortable to read, like the author had a grudge against Freya and thus didn't want to afford her any sort of depth or complexity.

We're led to believe that Freya, who was raised to believe goblins were dangerous and had no reason to believe otherwise, is actually a close-minded bigot who is in denial about how great the fae are and how much she longs for the adventure the fae world provides.

I get what the author was going for, but it falls really flat for many interconnected reasons. Freya spends the entire book warring against the idea of goblins/fae being good people and the fae world being wonderful, believing they stole her sister, and denying her (supposed) attraction to the Gabby Babby, up until the last pages of the book. But when she finally meets Esther and sees that she wants to be there, Freya's like "Oh ok. Nevermind then. I was wrong and you were right." Like, she kept denying it for so long, to the point it became unrealistic, but all it actually took was Esther, the paragon of righteousness, to tell her to calm down?

It's not even a bad idea, it's fine to have Freya's sister be the final nail in the bigot coffin, but the way Freya folds and doesn't even doubt or give up or feel bitter or anything? She spends the majority of the book being in denial, then flips on a dime and goes "Ok! This is fine actually! Whatever my little sister wants, uwu!" It's the author showing her hand very blatantly. Like, ok, the book is over, time for the finale and for tying a nice bow on the character development. Freya is done with her arc, which was less an arc and more of a 90 degree angle, so now her anger and denial are just gone despite being her main characterization throughout. Freya's entire character gives way for Esther's wants and needs, and it's framed like Esther is doing Freya a favor by opening her eyes to the wonders of the goblins.

And the thing is, Freya being in denial isn't even that convincing, either? Obviously, she needs to be in denial for this particular plot, I get it, and the part that doesn't work for me is the idea that there is something to deny at all. Pretty much every fae creature she encounters wants to hurt her, except for the one side character she forces into servitude who doesn't, at any point, show that he wants to help her out of the kindness of his heart and nothing else, and one character who Freya admits herself seems nice but harbors some threatening edge deep down (not even that deep down, tbh).

So all the things Freya sees that she needs to deny are ... pretty landscapes. The mere existence of magic. The supposed kindness of the fae? The promise of adventure, the type she's on right now trying to save her sister from a creep who, as far as she knows, kidnapped said sister?

Freya's in very unconvincing denial about things that nobody in their right mind would actually be in denial about. Are we supposed to believe she doesn't care about her sister and just wants adventure? That she's convincing herself the goblins are evil to have a righteous thing to war against, to make herself a hero in her own story, and Esther's kidnapping is just an excuse to go on a quest? I think that angle would've worked, and there's hints of that in the book, but it's clearly not the point. Mostly it's Freya's bigotry we're supposed to dislike about her, and her wanting to be a hero is painted as a good thing she's repressing.

Now, I'm not saying that bigotry is somehow justified if the people you're bigoted against "prove" that they're as bad as you think they are. Nor am I saying that it's on them to prove you wrong. But this is a book, and Freya unlearning these things needs to be shown convincingly to the reader. Here, the fae are in obvious positions of power over Freya throughout and several of them attempt to kill her, yet her reacting negatively to this is painted as irrational? Why purposefully write cruel and threatening fae and then punish your character for thinking they're cruel and threatening? It doesn't make any sense.

The fae: We stole your sister and you need to do a bunch of dangerous shit to get her back. Also, a bunch of us will drug you, dehumanize you, insult and belittle you, and generally treat you like disposable garbage. The one guy who doesn't hate your guts is in charge of all of us.

Freya: Hmm ... Yeah that matches what I know about you. Kinda shitty tbh.

The fae: Omg how racist! Open your heart to how great we are!

In the end, Freya wins, but we're meant to dislike that. Because Freya winning means the Gabba Babba loses, and he's correct about everything always, just like Esther. The narrative tells us Freya is wrong, Esther tells Freya she's wrong, the Gorblo Borblo tells Freya she's wrong. You just end up reading about this poor woman who's gaslit into being the villain by everyone around her, and she ends up blaming herself when shit goes to hell, and then Esther is the one who's like "it wasn't your fault uwu" and I'm not sure if we're meant to agree?

Freya somehow ends up being the butt monkey of the entire book despite also being the most interesting human ever (according to the Gebble Pebble) and having the easiest epic quest of all time. She's a bigot but we never see her get any reason to unlearn said bigotry, but she's still punished for her beliefs, ones she got from her dead parents and never had reason to question. Her love interest tells us she's the most fascinating human he's ever met (and he's met millions, despite being a thousand years old? That's a lot of humans for a guy who mostly seems to live on non-human soil) despite her never doing anything extraordinary.

This is a very confusing read. I'm leaving two stars because it baffled me more than it infuriated me, but I wouldn't recommend it unless you're really desperate for lukewarm goblin content. On that note, let's talk about Stolen Goblin Bride and the way these two books together open up a well of wack-ass worldbuilding.

First of all, the events in this book do not match up with the events in Goblin Bride. Lux "kidnaps" Esther in that one, but here, she says she went willingly. The Gobbo Shobbo also distinctly helps Lux kidnap Esther, all while claiming he didn't, and that goblins don't do that. Here, it's also established that only children go out to the human world to sell their wares (???), but in Goblin Bride, there were named characters who were clearly adults. Lux himself can't be a child, either. Assuming he's not much older than Esther's 16, and also that he lives and travels alone and owns a home, he's probably around that same age. That does not make him a child. It seems like the author just retroactively made those goblins kids in order to make Freya look even worse. We also find out that the King Gob is well-loved by his people, despite there being a bunch of starving people that Lux has to personally feed on the king's orders? Man must have one hell of a propaganda team. We also don't really know, generally, what sort of world Esther and Freya come from? They talk about being peasants and living in a small village, but at some point Freya mentions a zoo? Huh??? And again, why are the goblins sending their kids to trade with humans that hate and fear them? What kind of sense does that make? Goblin Bride establishes that they trade mainly with nobles, but this book outright says that human nobles left Freya's village centuries ago. Why are the goblins still sending their kids to remote human villages?

All in all, it's a shambles of a book. Nothing really works, and the protagonist seems to be punished for existing, a pawn in a heavy-handed moral that doesn't really work at all. The characters are bland amalgamations of tropes, the worldbuilding is wacky and nonsensical in a bad way, and the plot has the integrity of string cheese. There are tiny glimpses of a vision, of a goal in there somewhere, that might be enough to please some, but I don't know if I'm masochistic or mean enough to pick up the rest of the series.