#gone. vanished. you will never see it again. also it didnt notice you were hitting on it probably it just thought you were weird

[mantisgodsdomain]

Ok we realize we just wrote like a whole tag essay about this but we just realized that we can pare it down to "either no or no but in a way where people probably still talk about thinking theyre hot anyways".

[guardianofjunmyeon]

Finding Atlantis (part 14)

Genre: Action/Adventure, Enemies to Lovers, PirateAU

Description:  20 years ago the seas became angry. Unruly and unkind to any sailor, to  any ship that dared venture too far out in her waters. Many a man has  heard the tales of Atlantis, the lost city, the key the ocean. But fewer  men know the tale of it’s missing child. The key to the ocean, the key  to Atlantis but a lost little one. The power one would hold should they  find this child would be nearly that of Poseidon himself. Thus, the hunt  began.  

A/N: wait i forgot i left you all on a cliffhanger akjfhjf. Here’s an update (finally) im a bitch blocked about where the next chapter is going so it might take...about as long as this one took to be uploaded. Its gonna have some smut tho. This chapter has new characters and PLEASE appreciate my fucking bubble conversation, i wanted to use the whole “she came down in a bubble dawg!” convo but i didnt

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10, Part 11, Part 12, Part 13, Part 14, Part 15, Part 16, Part 17, Part 18

There are certain experiences you’ve lived through enough times to consider yourself a pro at handling. Situations like being handcuffed to a bed. Like being left on an island with no food or water. Like having to fight your way out of a bar when someone is getting too rough with the other patrons.

Drowning is quickly becoming a situation with which you are getting too closely acquainted.

When the ocean swallowed your little dinghy, your life flashed before your very eyes. This was truly the end. The last thing you would ever live through would be the song of Atlantis tickling your ears, the sight of Junmyeon glowing blue, and the feeling of Baekhyun’s skin beneath your palm.

All in all it wasn’t the worst way to go, but there was still so much more that you wanted to experience.

You’d never gotten a chance to return home, to sit at that cliff where you sent off your mother’s body and tell her about all of the things you’d done with your life. To describe to her the ship you’d bought, the friends you’d made, the adventures you’d gone on and the memories you’d made. You wanted to go find Victoria again and thank her for taking you in.

You wanted to find that boy that saved your life when you were but a child and to thank him properly. You wanted to tell him all that you’d done and repay him for giving you that chance at life. You wonder if he’s grown up into a handsome man now. If he has a spouse and kids and a happy home on that island you once called home that you left as soon as you could. You wonder if he’d even remember you.

You’d never gotten a chance to get the Storm Chaser those new upgrades that you’d been saving up for. An extension to the crew cabins, sturdier masts, a new set of sails.

You hadn’t gotten the chance to fall in love, to have your heartbroken, to have a baby or even hold one for that matter. Would you have made a good mother? Would you have made a decent wife? Would you have been able to find someone willing to spend the rest of their life with you, on the seas, on land, wherever your hearts could make a home?

Would you have tried to make a home with Baekhyun?

The feeling of being sucked down into the depths of the ocean doesn’t get any less terrifying the second time that you go through it.

As a matter of fact, having it happen again is more terrifying than the first time. Maybe it’s because you can actually feel the pressure of the water crushing your chest. You can feel the way you’re being sucked farther down and the way the water rushes into your nose from the shock of being suddenly dragged under.

It’s nothing like the storm, nothing like fighting the waves and catching the flashes of light as you fought to climb to the surface. Of being tossed around and dropping and rising hundreds of feet seconds at a time. At least then you had a purpose. You aren’t trying to save a life this time. You aren’t able to fight the invisible force dragging you farther and farther down into the water. The water around you is calm, the movement of your body whizzing through the water feels scarily misplaced.

Magical. Unnatural.

Then it all finally stops.

The force pulls you into a pocket of air and gravity takes you by force. Your body collapses on solid ground, and you can breathe. You gasp frantically for air and cough violently as you attempt to catch your breath and your bearings.

You sit up and position yourself on shaky hands and knees as you heave on the dark basalt beneath your splayed fingers.

It takes a few moments of panicked breathing to realize –you’re alive.

You’re alive.

You realize that you’re alive and then you regain enough brain power to panic over if Junmyeon and Baekhyun are also alive. You hear dramatic coughing and hurling to your left and when you investigate you find Baekhyun on his ass with his head between his knees as his spits out salt water.

He looks like a miserable wet dog. You would laugh if you weren’t sure that you look the same.

But where is Junmyeon?

You look left and right, in front of you and behind you but you see no trace of him. No sign of him in the underwater cave you’ve somehow found yourself.

“How did we even get in here?” you spit more salt water on the ground and look for your area of entry. Down. It felt like you fell down. So maybe there is something above.

A gasp gets caught in your throat at the sight above you. Open water somehow suspended above. If you weren’t nearly positive that you somehow fell from there, you would think there was some extremely strong glass blocking the water from falling through the hole above. You can see the glow of deep sea fish swimming by and you’re hit with just how far below the surface you are.

Dizziness pounds through your skull and you hurl out more water all over your hands.

Disgusting.

“Are you guys alright?”

You lift your head at the sound of Junmyeon’s voice and feel your remaining strength seeping from your bones. He looks between you and Baekhyun’s pathetic forms with distressed eyes.

Baekhyun looks up from between his legs with an incredulous open-mouthed frown. He looks your first mate from his toes to his head. “How the hell are you dry?”

It’s then that you notice he looks remarkably put together. As if he never even experienced the sensation of being pulled straight towards hell through water. The patterns on his skin have dulled down to a pale blue, but they are still there as clear as day.

“An Atlantian thing,” Junmyeon answers with a shrug and a smile. He reaches out a hand to help you to your feet but you wave him away with a shake of your head.

“No, give me a second. I just- I need,” you point to the hole above, “This is just-” you close your eyes and wave him away weakly. “Fuck, I need some time.”

He laughs lightly and chooses to help Baekhyun up while you gather your wits. This is overwhelming. “Did you just materialize down here what the fuck?”

“No, I came down in a bubble.”

“A…bubble.”

“Yeah you know one of those things filled with air-”

“You couldn’t lend us one of those bubbles?!”

“I didn’t know how. I don’t even know how I got it around me. Must be an Atlantian-”

“If you say ‘Atlantian thing’ one more time I will, and I swear to Poseidon, strangle you with my bare hands right here.”

“…Atlantian thing,” Junmyeon finishes cheekily. Baekhyun groans loudly and you can hear the weak thumps of him trying to smack your first mate and being deflected.

You struggle onto your feet as Junmyeon and Baekhyun argue. Typical back and forth between the two of them, you know Baekhyun is all talk when it comes to most people; he won’t hurt Junmyeon.

Letting your eyes fully wander the cave, you take in the shiny crystals in the rock around you and the way everything glows a tranquil light blue.

You hear the thundering footsteps before you see the people coming charging towards you out of the alcove hidden from your view.

“INTRUDERS, DROP TO THE GROUND NOW!”

“We just got up,” Baekhyun whines at your side. You lower your still shaking body back down to your knees and hold your hands up in the air to show your willingness to cooperate. In the corner of your eye you catch Junmyeon landing a swift kick to the back of Baekhyun’s legs with his good leg and sending him to the ground with a painful crash.

You flinch at the noise and the people in matching outfits in front of you hold out their swords, ready to strike at any moment. Once Junmyeon has lowered himself to his knees, the group of people break apart to make way for who you assume must be the leader. If the aura of dominance and the extra sparking pink embellishments on their otherwise plain white uniform is anything to go by.

“Who are you and what are you doing here?” The man asks gruffly. He’s tall, handsome, big eyes rimmed in dark black kohl. His analyzing brown eyes drag from you, to Baekhyun, and finally land on Junmyeon. You catch the exact moment that recognition crosses his face.

His eyes widen and he blinks rapidly in disbelief, the sword in his hand clatters to the ground and resounds through the cave. “S-Suho? Prince Suho is that you?”

You turn to look at Junmyeon who has locked eyes with the leader with a look of confusion on his face.

“Do they know each other?” Baekhyun whispers to you.

“Shut up,” you hiss.

Junmyeon gasps and climbs to his feet. “Minho? Minho! I can’t believe it,” he says elatedly. The two of them run (Junmyeon more hobbling than running with the shitty cast still on his leg) into each other’s arms to embrace and you watch with a kind of fond sadness as they grip one another as if the other will vanish into thin air.

The other guards slowly lower their swords and break out into disbelieving whispers. Baekhyun grabs your left hand and lowers it to your lap. “I think you can lower your hands now prisoner. I don’t think they’re going to kill us yet.”

“It’s as if nothing in this world is enough to keep you from annoying the absolute hell out of me,” you grumble.

He beams, a wide and happy smile. “It’s my charm.”

You snort out a laugh while he stands up on both feet and holds out a hand for you to take to get up. You slap your hand in his and let him heft you to your feet.

Junmyeon calls out your name and you whip in his direction in alarm. He drags over the leader of the guard with a hand on his bicep and matching grins on their faces. “I want you to meet my childhood friend Minho!” He looks up at Minho with eyes beaming with happiness. “We grew up together, and Minho here is the Captain of the entire Atlantian military.”

Minho looks down at the ground bashfully.

“It is an honor to meet you. Junmyeon says that he wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for you. I, as well as all of our people owe you our highest form of gratitude,” Minho says with a deep bow.

You blink at the gesture, stupefied into immobility. Junmyeon gives you a pointed look and a subtle bow of his own to hint that you should bow back. You quickly bend at the waist and rise up. “It’s- Uhm, thank you. It wasn’t just me though, there are lots of people to thank for his return up on the surface,” you say with a nervous smile.

Minho laughs. “I’m sure. You can all amaze us with tales of your time above at breakfast in a few hours. I’m sure you would all like a moment to settle and…” he looks at Baekhyun and your soaked clothing. “…clean yourselves up.”

The two of you frown indignantly.

As if you planned on showing up soaking wet.

Minho whistles loudly and a smaller man comes scrambling out of the group of guards. “Hendery, show our two outsiders where they can rest. I will take the prince directly to the Queen.”

The smaller man nods vigorously. “Yes sir. I would like to have Xiaojun assist me, if I can.”

“Take who you need,” Minho gives you both another once over before leaning down to whisper, “Make sure there is plenty of soap in their bathrooms.”

You squawk in embarrassment. Junmyeon offers an apologetic smile before coming to place both of his hands on your shoulders and lowering his voice to talk to you and Baekhyun as privately as he can. “Just follow them and relax. I will come find you once I am finished talking to the Queen. They won’t do anything to hurt either of you.” He squeezes your shoulder. “I’ll make sure of it.”

You nod in affirmation. Baekhyun grunts at your side.

Hendery and another young guard lead you away and out of the cave. You are only allowed one final look over your shoulder before Junmyeon vanishes from your sight.

The bleakness of the cave gives way to a wide low hallway covered from top to bottom in blue crystals, or maybe it’s glass.

“You’re awfully quiet,” you murmur to the man at your side. Neither of the guards bother to turn around at the sound of your voice.

“I’m trying to take it all in. This is insane I never thought I would ever actually see this place,” Baekhyun whispers back. You’re shocked by the genuine way he explains himself. “Why? Do you already miss the sound of my voice? I can keep talking if you want.”

“I’ll pass. I already miss the silence.”

His giggle resonates against the walls. You bite down on your lip to keep from smiling in return.

Your group reaches the end of the tunnel and the guards suddenly stop. Hendery turns around first. “Because we are unable to trust you we will have to transport you while keeping our city and location a secret.”

“Huh?”

“I think we’re going to get blindfolded,” Baekhyun whispers to you.

The other guard reaches into his coat and produces two pieces of cloth while Hendery slams a fist on the wall. A hole opens up where seamless wall once stood. You watch dumbly as the other guard, Xiao…Xiao something sits in the human-sized hole and then lies on his back before disappearing through a tube.

What the fuck is this place?

You’re blindfolded first and led to the hole. “Sit.” So you do. What kind of transport requires you to sit in a hole blind? You’ve lived a couple of years now and that's long enough to know that this doesn’t feel quite safe.

Before you can argue your way out of it, you’re pushed and then careening through space. With your eyes covered and the jolt of bewilderment at sliding too fast to be humanly possible you don’t have any choice but to let out a scream.

You’re on your feet again before you know it –albeit dizzy and shaking. The blindfold is removed and you’re met with the impassive face of the guard. You look around yourself to figure out what in the deep sea hell you just slid through.

“You might want to get out right about now,” he suggests.

You hear the telltale sound of Baekhyun’s yelling and cursing getting closer by the second, so you hobble out of the exit compartment and watch in wonder as the top of the compartment opens up and air blasts from the bottom to decrease the force of gravity as Baekhyun drops to his feet.

He’s shaking like a log and his wet hair and clothes are even more disheveled than they were before.

Maybe it’s the overload of being exposed to all the new technology and scenery, but you can’t stop yourself from loudly laughing at his appearance.

Xiaoxi…Xiaode…Xiaojun, that sounds right-

Xiaojun walks forward with a smile twitching on his lips to remove the blindfold from the once one-eyed troublemaker. But, Baekhyun has his eyes squeezed closed, refusing to open them. You take it upon yourself to physically pull him out of his spot.

“It’s over, you’re on solid ground now,” you tease. He peaks open one eye and it darts around distrustfully before he opens them both and leans forward with his hands on his knees to let out a dramatic exhale of breath. Another humored giggle escapes you. “You look like shit and the way you screamed-.”

He stands up straight with reddened cheeks. “Never speak of it,” he threatens in a low voice. You roll your eyes and lift a hand to fix his messy hair. You hear the hiss of air from the tube, knowing that Hendery will be arriving soon, but you busy yourself with smoothing down the unruly strands.

The red darkens on his face as you rake your fingers through the hair at his fringe. You aren’t sure what compels you to initiate the act, but he doesn’t stop you so selfishly you continue to take what you can. Satisfied with your work you smile shyly and turn away to hide your face and the heat you can feel creeping up your neck.

A cough snaps you back into attention.

Right, the guards.

Hendery has a creepily knowing smirk on his face while Xiaojun covers his mouth with his hand, but you can see mirth shining in his eyes.

Baekhyun clears his throat and crosses his arms over his chest. “So…where are we supposed to rest exactly? Or are we supposed to wander around and find it ourselves?”

Hendery motions to the right. “Down this hallway.” He nudges Xiaojun and they both walk forward. You resist the urge to smash your head into the wall as you follow behind. Into one of the…beautiful smooth white walls. For the first time you take in the interior of the building where you have ended up.

High ceilings and pillars. Enormous windows that go from ceiling to floor to show an expansive view of what awaits outside.

You’ve had plenty of time to image what Atlantis would look like, but seeing it in front of you now, bathed in a light like that of early dawn, with the reflection of water moving over the architecture…it’s too unreal, too magical to put into words.

“Keep up. You’ll be able to see the city after breakfast with the Queen,” Xiaojun advises. Both you and Baekhyun pick your pace back up after having fallen behind trying to take in all that around you.

Attempting to keep your gawking to a minimum you keep your eyes ahead and try to quickly take in as much as you can.

“We’re here,” Hendery says. You almost tumble into his side when he suddenly stops; and Baekhyun trips over his own feet at your side. “These will be your rooms. There will be drinking water and a bathroom for you to clean up. We have already notified the castle staff of your arrival and there will be clothes delivered to you for you to change into for the meal.

“Breakfast will be served in 3 hours. One of the castle butlers will come for you to show you to the dining area at that time. Until then we advise you entertain yourself inside of the room.” The door is opened and a grand suite awaits you. Your mouth drops at the extravagance of it.

A large bed rests at the very center of the room, draped in iridescent white curtains that look as creamy as milk. The floor is covered in cold white marble and speckled with shells and pearls embedded into it. A large couch is perched near the entrance, a lit fire in front of it keeping the room comfortably warm. A book shelf stretches across a third of the room only stopping at a golden archway that you assume leads into the bathroom. The room is decorated in soft golds, creamy whites and pale blues. You catch little accents of pink in the wall paint and on the couch pillows.

The dome-like shape of the room makes you feel like you’re in a bubble.

“What is with you guys and bubbles?” You grumble to yourself.

Xiaojun shrugs. “It’s an Atlantian thing,” he says simply.

You close your eyes in frustration while Baekhyun grumbles at your side.

“So whose room is this?” Baekhyun asks once he’s done cursing Atlantis and its obsession with bubbles. Hendery and Xiaojun share a look and you catch the sneakiness on their expressions.

Hendery is the one who decides to answer, cheerily as if he isn’t intentionally planning to ruin your time here in Atlantis. “Both of yours.”

“I’m sorry what did you just say?”

“This room is for the both of you.” Hendery casts Baekhyun a wide smile. “You’ll have to share because…uhm..”

“Because we’re low on rooms,” Xiaojun chimes in.

“Yes! Low on rooms,” Hendery agrees quickly, conspicuously. You narrow your eyes. “You see we have a lot of guests recently because of a…” he looks to Xiaojun for help.

“For a uh, for a wedding!”

“Who is getting married?” Baekhyun asks, just to catch them in their lie.

“One of the princes! Ah we must be returning to our Captain now. Rest well!” Hendery says quickly before he and Xiaojun rush away with their hands over their mouths, giggling like school children. You’re adults, you can share a room. You won’t let the giggling of the younger boys worsen the pounding in your chest.

You exhale and shake your head. “Come on.” You enter the room first and immediately feel relaxed by the colors, the roundedness, and general softness of everything around you.

The fire feels like it’s calling your name so you wander over to warm yourself up by its flames. Your wet clothes are beginning to feel bothersome again now that the excitement of being in Atlantis and being alive have begun to fade.

The sound of something sopping wet hitting the ground heavily pulls your attention from the flickering flames. When you turn around you don’t expect to see your roommate getting ass naked…

But alas that is what your eyes land on. His shoes and shirt are already in a wet pile by his feet.

“Baekhyun,” you admonish. He stops with his pants halfway down his legs. You look at his soft naked dick only momentarily before you raise your eyes back to his anticipatory face. “Really?”

“I’m cold and wet. I need a shower do you want me to get sick?”

“You couldn’t even wait to go change in the bathroom?”

“It’s nothing you haven’t seen before,” he responds before shucking the last of his clothing and standing in the middle of the room proudly.

In all his naked glory.

You can’t help but feel a bit put off by the fact that he doesn’t have any issue getting naked around you. He’s not even hard. It’s like your presence doesn’t affect him in the slightest.

Bitterly you wonder if you’d been Jongin would he have a different reaction in this situation. You stand up abruptly. Fuck Baekhyun.

Pettily you strip out of your clothes as you walk towards the bathroom, leaving the wet articles in your wake. “I’m cleaning myself first,” you state coldly as you all but rip the last of your clothing off at the archway of the bathroom.

You don’t turn around and you don’t bother to investigate why he seems stunned to his spot or why he averts his eyes as you walk by.

~~~

The bathroom is just as opulent as the main room. A creamy white with pretty pale pinks streaked through the marble and coloring the crystals that illuminate the room in a soft pinkish glow.

A tub the size of a small pool is carved into the corner of the room. Oils and scented salts in jars cover the expansive shelf built into the wall at its side. A wide mirror stretches across the room with a spout and basin to wash your hands in front of it. A varied range of brushes and facial oils and paints are neatly organized across the counter, settled in front of a thick patterned chaise. You find candles nestled snuggly beneath a shelf of towels and unused sponges on ropes.

Looking at your appearance in the mirror, your hold in the need to physically recoil. You skin looks blanched from the overexposure to water, and the hair on your head is knotted beyond belief. Not wanting to look at your naked form for too long you twist the knob at the tub to release a steady flow of lukewarm water. You toss in some oil that smells good and a soap that catches your attention. The bottle is make of glass and has writing that you can’t read as it must be in Atlantian, but it smells and looks good and bubbles up when it comes in contact with the running water.

Grabbing a comb from the counter of goodies and the specialized hair soap left at the side of the tub, you decide to make an event out of pulling your appearance back together. You will be meeting the Queen in a few hours.

Gingerly, you lower yourself into the water and shove your head under the spout before lathering it in hair soap and detangling the strands on your hand. Rinsing out the suds and then turning off the water, you allow yourself to be semi submerged in the water.

“Yah, you can’t steal the bath and then spend an hour using it. I could have been in and out already.” You crane your neck to find Baekhyun’s complaining form leaning against the archway.

“You weren’t fast enough. Not my problem. You can wait.”

“No I can’t.”

“You can, and you will. I’m not fucking moving.”

In the month you have spent time more intimately with Baekhyun aboard your ship as a fellow crewman, you’ve learned one thing about him that you didn’t know before. He can be astoundingly petty.

His intelligence, his wit, his strength and skill as a pirate, his ability to charm and talk his way out of anything –you knew of it all before. But this petty level of childishness is new.

That being said, you aren’t surprised to find him padding over and then climbing into the large tub across from you. He settles and then his bottom lip juts out.

“Happy now?”

“No.”

You snort loudly and his pout breaks off into something like a smile. You push a handful of water in his direction, not enough to do much and not with enough strength to even be called a splash.

The little shithead he is takes your push of water as permission to send a small tidal wave in your direction, splashing you directly in your face.

You splutter and wipe the water from your eyes while he laughs his loudest most punctuated laugh at your expense. When you squint at him through the water still in your eyes you see pure relaxed happiness in his features, and you can’t find it in you to even attempt to be mad.

This Baekhyun is the real one. The one he covers up with cocky smiles and biting words. The one he leaves locked away and protected from the heartlessness that is required of your jobs.

Happy Baekhyun is a vulnerable Baekhyun. A soft version of him that makes your heart hammer in your chest and sparks a juvenile desire to keep him at your side safe from anyone who dares try and take that side of him away.

His laughing calms to muffled chuckles hidden behind his hand. “Okay, now I’m happy.”

“That makes one of us,” you scoff out. The water begins to agitate your eyes so you run the water from the spout to flush out the fragrance laced liquid. Blindly you reach out for the stream only to continuously miss.

“Come here,” you hear at your side. “Here, lean back.” You’re moved to the side and you lean backwards only to come in contact with his chest. You tense before giving in and letting yourself relax against him. You feel his muscles shifting as he reaches around you to cup water and pour it over your eyes. You blink away the water and scrunch up your face in discomfort. “I’m not done, try and keep your eyes open this time,” he says gently.

You reach up and hold open each eyelid as he cups the water and lets it flush out the soap. Finally you can blink without agitation. You contemplate thanking him, but decide to do it once you’re safely on your side of the bath. As you’re making your escape, arms wrap around you and pull you back securely down between strong thighs and against a warm chest.

“Can you…uh can you let me go?”

“Nuh uh,” he grunts with a head shake.

You look down at where his arms are crossed over your chest and swallow thickly. He perches his chin on your shoulder and takes in a deep relaxed breath. You feel stiff as a board. “This is nice,” he sighs out.

This is too intimate. This is too intimate. This is too intimate.

“How long have you been in love with Jongin, Baekhyun?” you ask in a rush of breath. His grip on you loosens to nothing and you pull yourself away from him, crossing your arms over your chest to hide the hardening of your nipples. From the cold of the air and the all too close embrace you’d found yourself enjoying just a tad too much.

He splutters. “I- wh-” he starts to cough violently. You feel your heart sinking with each noise he makes. “I don’t- I’m not in love with Jongin!”

You let your silence and your frown portray your disbelief.

“I’m serious. I’m not in love with Jongin he’s like my younger brother, what would make you think that?!” He fake gags. “Oh gross, just the thought-” he covers his mouth to fake gag again.

You gawk at him. Is he overcompensating to hide the truth?

“What in Poseidon’s name would lead you to believe that I’m in love with Jongin? I nearly raised the kid.”

You feel embarrassment creeping up your neck like snakes. “You- the…Minseok said…”

“Minseok said I was in love with Jongin?!”

“No! Wait let me-” you smack a hand to your forehead. “Minseok said that you took the compass with you when you came to find the three of us and I guess I just I don’t fucking know assumed you had to want to find your crew most in the world and then I figured you were actually in love with one of them and Jongin seemed like the most likely of him and Chanyeol because Chanyeol doesn’t really seem like your type but I guess it could also be him since he’s kind of goofy and airhead at times too-”

His hands come out of the water to cup your cheeks and then –lips.  

“Stop talking,” he says softly. Another quick press of his lips against yours. “You’re wrong and you’re stupid and you need to stop thinking before you overload your dumb little brain.”

“Hey-”

“Ah ah. What did I say?”

You purse your lips and let him squish your cheeks closer together until your lips are puckered ridiculously. The look in his eyes is fond almost, the smile on his lips and the shine in his eyes soft as he squishes and unsquishes your face.

You bat away his hands. “You still didn’t answer my question,” you whine despite yourself.

“Aw the baby getting upset?” he makes a face of exaggeratedly fake concern. “Come here, sit on daddy’s lap and I’ll make you feel all better.”

“Baek that was gross.”

“The invitation still stands.” He waggles his eyebrows and shimmies his shoulders. When his gaze drops down to your uncovered chest and a bit of the playfulness gets swallowed up by want, you feel a bit of that desire rushing through your veins again.

He isn’t in love with Jongin?

That only leaves more unanswered questions, but you let them go easily at the sight of Baekhyun reclining lazily against the side of the tub, rubbing up and down his thighs slowly and watching you with predatory closeness.

He is so sexy, you are so fucked.

Squashing the tiny feeling of shame, you crawl over and wrap yourself around him. You can feel him rising in excitement from beneath you. You let your arms rest lazily around his shoulders while he busies his hands with massaging circles on your hips.

“That feels nice,” you whisper in a puff of breath. You know that he can see how affected you are –can feel it in your impatient squirms against him as you attempt to subtly relieve the ache growing inside of you. He hums in agreement and focuses his eyes on your mouth.

You can take a hint when it’s staring you in the face like this. You lean forward and connect your lips softly. A peck. Another one. A kiss on the corner of his mouth. A kiss on the tip of his nose. Another on his smiling lips.

When you pull back there’s emotion swimming in his irises that sparks a heat in your core. You nip at his bottom lip.

A lick, a nibble, a juvenile laugh against pressed lips.

He sticks his tongue out through pursed lips, waiting for you to try and kiss him with his ridiculous expression. You pull away to grimace, only to laugh and lick a messy wet stripe from his upper lip to the tip of his nose.

“You’re a dick,” he laughs, wiping your saliva off his nose.

“And you’re a bastard,” you respond easily. You look at your deeply pruning skin with disdain. “We should dry off.”

“But I like it here in the tub; I haven’t even scrubbed the dirt off.”

“We can clean ourselves properly after I get your cock inside me.” You feel him twitch from beneath you. You cock your head to the side teasingly. “Oh, now you’re ready to get out?”

He scrambles from under you and over the edge of the tub right to the towels. You roll your eyes playfully and climb out just as he plops a towel on your head and quickly tries to dry your hair, only messing it up further.

“Hurry up. We’ll get sick if we stay like this for too long. We need to go to the bed and warm up, I can already feel a cold coming on.”

[familyagrestefanblog]

Wait a second I just noticed something. If the original French script of the sad Adrien talking about mom piano scene in "Feast" doesn't turn out to be completely different from the english one, then the implications of the time of Emilies sickness pre Show are... holy damn...

We know that Emilie was by far the more affectionate and present parent and that Gabriel was always very distant. I can buy that no problem. Everything about Gabriels parenting, the dialog, the body language and just even the little ways and priorities of how he treats Adrien show me that Gabriel was always distant. Not deliberately mean, hateful or cruel just... incredibly distant and too demanding. But this means that it was all the more Emilies part to not only bring joy into this household alongside Adrien-

(I very much imagine that these two could be total rays of sunshine together. Adriens got it from somewhere and I refuse to believe that she was evil and horrible too. Kinda problematic with some big flaws and WAY too overprotective? Definitely. But still a good person who loved her son with every inch of her heart to the point where she just didn't act in his best interest again. And, you know, she would never turn into a fucking sadistic terrorist like Gabe right now)

-She also was the only one who really could keep her lonely and isolated son company every day. There was no Plagg, Gabriel was always unintentionally too distant and even if Adrien and Chloe were childhood friends I never got the impression that they saw each other like, every day. I get more the impression of once every two weeks max. to sometimes. Not too much not too little, you know what I mean? So the way I see it Emilie was the main contact Adrien had in his childhood on a daily basis until he was around 12-13 when she disappeared.

So when she... like, I mean...

Pre-her-disapperance Emilie got sick like Natalie through wearing and using the peacock for too long... and in “Feast” Adrien confirms that Emilie indeed had the same symtoms as Natalie displays in the show

Does this mean... Is..is this show actually trying to tell me that when he was only around 12-13 years old, Adrien saw his Mother (who was pretty much the ONLY solid, reliable and genuine positive and loving emotional and social relationship/connection he had ALL HIS LIFE) getting sicker and weaker to the point where she kinda started fainting (maybe even DID faint) in front of him like Natalie does now?? To the point where Gabriel had to step in and tell his concerned young son that he doesnt have to worry about his mothers condiction, she will be alright again??? And then she vanishes and now he thinks he’ll never see her again??? 

Thats dark!

This implication came out of nowhere and hit me in the face with a reality I didnt know this show would dare to tap into. Adriens words above in the gifs sound like he genuinely thinks shes gone. Probably dead. I know everybody in the show proclaimes Emilie as “disappeared” and not dead. Adrien even says so to Nino in “the Bubbler”. But frankly for me it was always quite obvious that what is officially said in the in-universe Paris and what the characters acually believe and how they behave accordingly were always two very different things (also a kids show propbably tries to avoid saying “dead” even if other dubs dont mind doing so). Adrien always came across to me like he was mourning his dead mother and wants to move on while also trying to support and be there for his grief-striken father so Gabriel can at some point finally let go and move on too.

Its just...damn, I mean think about it. Think about what this implies for the periode of time where Emilie as gotten sicker and sicker

Because she still had to be there for her son!

And she did still spend time with Adrien every single day no matter if she was sick or not, I cant imagine her any other way. She and Gabriel propbably tried to find a cure simultaneously and Emilie refused to leave her child all alone by himself if it wasnt seriously needed. She put on a brave face. And thats the problem

THAT is the point that really kicks me in the guts

Because that means that most of the time where Emilie has gotten worse Adrien was around to witness it each and every day. He SAW his mother getting weaker and he SAW her dizzy spells up until the point where his parents left for Tibet for the last time. From which she then never returned for him.

And we know that because now he SEES the very same symtoms in Natalie and makes the connection. He just doesnt know that this connection involves the lost Miraculous and not just normal illnesses.

Everytime I thought about Emilies time as peacock miraculous holder before this episode aired, I always thought that Emilies sickness was somehow handled in secret from Adrien, just like the whole family backstory and the Hawkmoth&Mayura thing now. But...it wasnt. Adrien was right in the middle of it when the peacock slowly destroyed his mother. He had to witness that and... that just fucks me up on so many levels

It honestly brings the whole Sentibug thing in “Ladybug” and every time when Chat Noir sacrifices himself for Ladybug to a whole different level

Miraculous wtf???

[hey-hamlet]

BNHA AU Ideas : The villain’s little hero

Also on AO3! 

TL;DR:  All Might, Japan's number 1 villain has a successor. The problem? His successor is a hero hopeful. All Might will stop at nothing to make sure his kid gets to live his dream.

au where all might is a villain raising izuku to be a hero!

quirkless izuku, his backstory is mostly the same

all might decided that hero work had too much red tape. if he was going to take down afo, he needed the freedom to do whatever he had to and he wasnt getting that working within the law

so hes a,,, viilllaaaiinnn?? like. stain. but less murdery, would also save civilians if they were in danger

he has 0 qualms about crippling fake heroes but hes not a fan of murder

nighteye is still his sidekick, he doesnt use his quirk on allmight bc all might h a t e s it

hes kinda on board with "the future is only set in stone because you've seen it now" so he wants the freedom to break fate. but its very useful to get info, so nighteye just uses it on other people

hero to the people villain to literally everyone else

allmights villain costume is reallll similar to his hero costume. just less eye bleeding

he has longer grey hair too.

all mights bronze age costume is basically his villain costume thanks for listening

david shield is still in this story

david agrees w all might and like,,, sneaks him stuff on the downlow

all might told him ab. his quirk because who on earth is gonna believe that one america man about japans worst supervillain?

also melissa is a Soft Young Woman and she is all mights favourite person on this fucking planet until he meets izuku

all might went to ua, only defected after completing his hero training because he wanted to be trained by the people he was going to screw over

izuku has always kinda been a big fan of all might. not openly because hes legally a villain and very much paints himself as one, but his quirk is one of the most amazing things izuku has ever seen

when he looks closer, all might has never let a civilian get hurt once hes been on scene. hes taken hits to protect housing, hes pulled heroes from the line of fire

izuku watches his sports festivals and wonders why? why did all might, the man who happily told the world he'd stop at nothing to keep them safe, suddenly flip sides like that for no reason?

izuku doesnt buy it

izuku's big yellow backpack is a big red one in this universe, hes had it so long its gone pink but he still loves it

the sludge villain

all might saves him and izuku is crying. allmight thinks its because hes scared but izuku just turns to him with this big weepy eye smile and gives him the most genuine thanks he thinks hes ever been given

(its honestly the shock of that that makes him deflate into small might, which has izuku scrambling to find tissues and called an ambulance before he thinks better of calling emergency services for All Might)

izuku is like "Im SO SORRY SIR ARE YOU oK"

and all might is like ",,, b  oy"

izuku softly asking

"can,, can i still be someone with out a quirk? can i still make a difference?"

all might doesnt get the chance to anser because there is a massive explosion in the distance

its bakugo!! hes dying

the sludge villain got away bc izuku and all might were chatting a little

izuku hears it and he feels this terrible realization, because its probably not bakugo? but its definitely bakugo because izuku's life is falling to pieces

he sprints towards him and katsuki will n e v e r admit it but he feels hope in that moment because some one is trying to help. even if its just izuku, he wasnt totally left for dead

all might sees this tiny, nervous, quirkless kid run straight up to a villain that almost killed him seconds before to save someone what looks like they'd rather die

and he thinks

"no one deserves one for all more than him"

and allmight, the most wanted villain in japan, maybe the world, jumps in

the heroes look at him and they are scared. if they couldnt take the sludge villain, what is all might going to do to them? but the scariest man in japan, the person parents tell their kids about to stop them from going out at night, blows the sludge villain to tiny pieces and carefully, gently, places the two boys by the heroes

before he vanishes before they can call for backup or even ask why

izuku gets yelled at by the heroes because the heroes are scared and angry they couldnt stop either of the villains and izuku is so overwhelmed that hes crying and he can hardly breathe

bakugo doesnt even yell at him because hes so dazed about everything that happened and he cant make himself yell at this sobbing kid that used to be his friend

(bakugo is holding izukus hand like hes going to crush it but its the only thing keeping izuku present)

izuku is walking home and hes still hicuping and crying because he almost died and the heroes hate him and he feels a hand on his shoulder, and a soft :"its ok now my boy"

he knows its all might but he cant help but hide his face in his shirt and sob

all might gets down so he can look izuku in the eye

"you asked me if you could be someone with out a quirk and i didnt get the chance to answer. my answer? you already are someone. you are someone that inspired me, a villain, to save the day. you are going to be amazing"

and looks him dead in the eye "you'll do amazing things, even with out a quirk. but, you of all people deserve one, and no matter what you chose to do with it, it can be yours. hero, villain or someone in between"

izuku looks at this villain

this painfully thin villain, who just saved his life and who has unimaginable strength

and he throws his arms around his waist and sobs

inko isnt a great mum in this au and she likes to basically pretend izuku doesnt exist

izuku trains a lot and has to make his own food bc his mum just ignores him

he sneaks out at night to clear trash and sneaks back in before dawn to clean the sand from his hair

he smells like saltwater and rust, and he hasnt slept more than 4 hours a night in weeks and katsuki is worried

all might sees him crumbling with a smile stuck on his face and he wants to stop him from self-destructing, but the kid will never learn his lesson until he feels his body give up under what hes doing to it. if all might steps in he'll do it again and again until no one stops him and hes never learnt his limit.

so he waits and he watches while he pretends he cant see the bags under his eyes and pretends that everytime izuku sways on his feet he doesnt feel a jolt of deep panic

did he do this? if he the reason izuku looks like hes falling apart before his eyes?

the kid passes the fuck out and all might tells him off in a soft dad way and izuku cries bc why does this villain care more than his mum does

and all might catches the end of that little mumble, and feels terrible so he pretends he didnt hear and takes him for lunch

they go to a cafe and all might buys izuku the cutest slice of cake and a big ass bowl of katsudon and some fancy fucking tea and covers the kids eyes every time he tries to look at the prices

izuku looks at all might and asks

"are you buying me katsudon with crime money"

and all might looks sheepish and izuku giggles like an idiot and says "dont tell me ill feel bad!!!"

all might grins bc this kid is honestly the only reason he hasnt stabbed a pro hero in a few months bc hes so fucking sweet

he has to carry izuku half the way home bc the kid could barely lift his chopsticks and almost fell asleep in the booth after he finished eating

and allmight, skinny and kinda scary is giving his 15 year old a piggy back and someone says "you're such a good dad!" and he almost coughs up his last lung

izuku mumbles sleepily and hes has the biggest warm and fuzzy feeling and hes going to yell bc hes All Might the No. 1 Villain and this fucking kid is drooling on his sweater but he would die for him

some random stranger on the street commenting on how it was rly fortunate that izuku inherited his adorable smile from his father

all might, abt to burst into tears: whack

allmight is easily flustered even when hes killed a man

he comes home and inko isnt there so he has to like, wake up izuku to get him to open the door and he feels bad bc izuku is a Sleepy Man

izuku mumbles that he cant ever tell if shes at home or not because nothing changes and all might feels a wave of "wait my son isnt being parented enough"

so he makes izuku a cup of tea and tucks him into bed after he has a shower because izuku is His Son Now Inko

hes like

sitting in the living room reading the paper and he hears inko's car and hes like ",,, fuck it im walking out the front door im no coward"

she doesnt even notice and hes going to scream because does she have a brain

inko, spaced out, tired and terrible: oh is the tall man here for izuku :))) thats great :)))

all might is screaming bc"" do you get let weird men into see your tiny son>???? what the fuck???

hes so small inko??? and you?? let random men in?????

all might would yeet her into the sun if he could but his boy needs an actual family member to make going to ua easier

inko is kinda mentally ill. she is depressed and often forgets she has izuku. like shes not always being terrible she just sometimes forget to do basic things

one time she locked izuku out of the house for 10 hours and he had to sleep next to the front door

one month she didnt buy any food so by the end of it he was starving and out of his own money and there was n o t h i n g in the house, but inko would go out to eat every night and lunch and not take her son

allmight is upset bc izuku didnt tell him but izuku is embarrassed. embarrassed that he was forgotten by his own mum, that he couldnt do anything to help her or himself and honestly mad he was so hungry all might noticed bc he didnt want to bug him

it was getting to the point that katsuki actually slipped some change into his bag with a candy bar

[imagineseclipse]

Your Character Development Imagine

Season 1 Part 2

You really were not planning on waking up super early the next morning, even though you had school you intended on staying in bed for the entire day.

But apparently mother nature had different plans for you.

You awoke abruptly to what sounded like stones being thrown at your window, at first you buried yourself further into your covers mumbling to yourself inaudibly not even being able to understand your own words. You felt really out of place, something felt weird and it was lowkey starting to freak you out. 

The noise got louder and louder until it was too much to bear. Once again you threw the warm duvet from your body, exposing your body to the cold air almost instantly. Leaving you with terrible goosebumps as you trudged over to your window, peering out of it curiously. 

Turning back to face your bed you noticed a white shimmering dust, scattered all over your bed sheets.

The events from the night before had been forgotten up until that moment unfortunately, it was like you were having a really bad hangover, when you watched out of your window the banging stopped.

Rolling your eyes as you suddenly turned your back to the glass. That’s when it started again. Quickly you rushed back to the window ledge eager to see what causing such a racket at 6am.

As you pulled your curtains apart you came face to face with a small robin bird. Tapping it’s beak against the double sided frame. You continued to gaze as the bird for a minute wondering how such a small animal could make so much noise.

To your surprise one more small robin joined the first, tapping persistently at your big window. Your eyebrows furrowed together with confusion as yet another bird flew to the outside of your bedroom. Mimicking the actions of its fellow friends.

You took a step back from your window growing increasingly worried while a number of birds appeared, all knocking at the same time making the sound almost deafening.

You threw your curtains back together backing away from the assemble of feathered creatures. Your heart was beating so hard in your chest you thought you were going to have a heart attack.

Retreating into your bathroom you slammed the door closed behind you, shutting out the commotion that continued to make your ears bleed.

You let out a sigh relief, reaching for the bottom of your t-shirt so that you could finally assess the scratches.

Your heart finally stopped when you checked the area that you had previously bandaged. The deep wound had vanished it had disappeared leaving no trace that it actually existed.

To say that you were confused would be an understatement, inside you honestly believed that you were going insane. There was no sign of blood, no grazed skin, no scratches.

You could have sworn it happened.

Letting your t-shirt fall back down by your sides you turned on the cold tap reaching down and splashing water over your face. Waking you up properly.

When you brought your head back up you reached for your towel attempting to dry your face. You froze suddenly noticing that your skin was so pale, you looked different. You felt abnormal. It had taken you a minute or two to notice that your eyes had gone from y/e/c to a bright silver.

How was that even possible?!

You stared for what seemed like forever, it had to be a dream it had to be. You stood looking dumbfounded at your reflection. your new grey eyes never leaving your own face as you continued to inspect the change.

The consistent tapping making your mind warped. It was as if it was echoing throughout your brain, suddenly causing you to break down.

“Please just stop, i want it to stop”you cried as you slumped down on your cold bathroom tiles.

A second later and the persistent drumming in your mind had come to a halt as if the birds had listened to your wishes.

You waited for a moment before deciding that it was safe for you to leave your bathroom. When you entered back into your room everything was hushed, and there was no sign of the small dainty animals.

Maybe you were finally going crazy stuck in that room, maybe you were seeing things. You’d come to the conclusion that you needed fresh air so going to school was your only option.

You carelessly threw the first hoodie in sight, making your way down the kitchen. You were pleased to see a note from your mother taped to the fridge explaining that she had gone to work already and that there was money on the counter for your lunch.

You didn’t know how you were going to explain the silver eyes. It then occurred to you that you hadn’t used your phone since the night before. In fact you didnt even know where your phone was.

The realisation then hit you, you’d left it behind in the woods.

Swiping your car keys angrily from the table you made your way out to your car, speeding away from your house with only one objective.

As you approach Beacon Hills High you searched the crowd for your victims, ready to unleashed your newly found anger. Once you had safely parked your car you stomped towards Scott and Stiles.

Scott could hear your heart racing from miles away, he didn’t know how but he could. He could also feel the anger radiating from your body.

Stiles noticed you after Scott had, his eyebrows raising at you a smile forming on his face. It was if he was happy to see you.

“Y/n, you’re alive i couldn’t find you yesterday in the woo-

“Yeah i am alive, but you won’t be for much longer”you growled, cutting stiles off as you approached the two boys, dragging each of them by their bags to an area where nobody hung out. Nobody would be able to hear their screams.

“Oh! My god, wow”Stiles yelped as you pushed Scott into him with some force backing them both into a corner folding your arms and tapping your foot impatiently.

“Woah y/n, nice contact lenses your eyes look so cool”Stiles complimented you unaware of the consequences.

You lunged forwards picking him up by the scruff of his shirt.

“They aren’t contact lenses dumbass, you think this is funny?!”you started to raise your voice.

Stiles gawped at you “I don’t know what you’re talking ab-

You scoffed, letting Stiles go a little too quickly making him stumble backwards into Scott. A look of hurt flashed across his face before you opened your mouth to rant again.

“You two nerds did this to me, what you wanted me to come into the woods so that you could put some weird chemicals into my body for your stupid little experiments don’t think for one second that your weird projects go unnoticed i see you two sneaking around all the time!”you exclaimed not really making any sense.

Scott and Stiles exchanged confused glances.

“Whatever you did to me, change it back before i ruin your lives”you hissed.

“We didn’t do anything to you y/n”Scott explained quickly.

“Look i really don’t need this right now, last night when you left me alone i was attacked”Scott added, his head dropping so he was looking at the floor.

“What?”you grimaced. You’d been having brief flashbacks to when you were knocked to the ground by the unseeable force in the forest.

“He thinks a werewolf bit him”Stiles continued the story.

You let out a menacing laugh.

“Don’t be stupid, werewolves don’t exist”you shook your head as if it was the most ridiculous thing in the world.

“Show her Scott, show her the bite”Stiles nudged his best friend. Scott hesitated before lifting up his shirt showing you a white gauze covered with tape that resembled your own.

There were small spots of blood covering the bandage as he peeled the tape from his skin to reveal nothing. 

“What i could have sworn there was something there”Scott mumbled to himself, the same thing had happened to you and you were one hundred percent baffled by it all.

Narrowing your eyes at Scott, you found yourself unintentionally reaching up to rub the area of your own wound, only to feel discomfort. Stiles watched you shuffle around for a few seconds he watched closely as you rubbed the side of your body nervously. Stilinski frowned slightly, cocking his head to the side deep in thought.

You could feel Stiles’ eyes on you, raising your head in his direction immediately making eye contact. Your eyes bored into his wondering if he had seen your previous actions. 

“What makes you think it was a werewolf”you asked turning to Scott, trying to change the atmosphere. 

“I heard a wolf howling in the woods after i was attacked”Scott answered.

“Impossible, there have been no sightings of wolves in California for like 60 years”Stiles shook his head.

“Well i found the body aswell” Scott announced.

The conversation had started to bore you so you found yourself walking away not wanting to talk to them anymore than you had to, you obviously weren’t getting the answers you needed from them so there was no point in hanging around. You decided that you would catch them out later so that they could fix you eyes because you were convinced that they did something to you.

You were only a few footsteps away from the teens when you were barged to the side by the queen bee herself Lydia Martin. She carried on strutting past as if nothing had happened whereas you turned around ready to confront her about her attitude. 

She may have gotten away with walking over everyone else but you were not ‘everyone’. You were just about to give her a piece of your mind when you were cut short by the sound of Stiles Stilinski shrieking about the dead body Scott had come across the night before.

“Oh god that is freaking awesome. I mean this is seriously gonna be the best thing that’s happened to this town since-

Stiles’ eyes landed on Lydia mid conversation, and suddenly he was in a trance. You rolled your eyes dramatically before listening in on the conversation, entertained by the fact that Lydia didn’t even know that Stiles existed.

“Since the birth of Lydia Martin. Hey Lydia, you look...like you’re gonna ignore me”

You watched the one sided exchange with a uninterested expression on your face.

“Pathetic”you whispered, tutting to yourself as you hugged your hoodie tighter around your body. The winds were picking up rapidly and you were regretting your life decisions. You were better off staying in your bed.

Luckily for the boys, they didn’t see you for the rest of the school day. You figured that after lessons had finished you would go back to the woods to try and locate your phone.

It was comforting that you were visiting during the day time, you really didn’t want to run into whatever had attacked you the previous night.

 A small part of you wondered if the creature that had attacked Scott was the same animal that had attacked you, however you shook away the thought.

You kicked the leaves from your shoes, scanning the ground for your phone. You cursed under your breath remembering that your battery had been quite low the night before so it was most probably dead. You’d never find it.

Whilst you were roaming the woods on your phone search and rescue you noticed that you felt at peace, as if you were meant to be there. You could breath and you didn’t feel pressure on your chest like you normally would. You weren’t suffocating. Then the thought of returning back to reality hit you like a brick.

 Just when you thought that your day couldn’t get any worse you heard two male voices approaching you.

“Y/N? Is that you?”Stiles jogged over to you.

“No, it isn’t”you deadpanned.

“What are you doing here?”Scott asked.

“Not that it’s any of your business but i lost my phone here last night”you spoke out, not even attempting to make eye contact. You were terrified that Stiles was going to become suspicious.

“I’m trying to look for my inhaler”Scott stated.

“I didn’t ask”you replied expressionless.

“We could help eachother”Scott offered.

You let out a deep audible breath before turning to face the two. Yet another burst of anger made it’s way out of your mouth.

“If it wasn’t for you and that stupid animal thing attacking me then i wouldn’t have lost my phone in the first place!”you shouted as you pressed your hands into Scott’s chest accusingly.

“What did you just say?!”Stiles edged closer to you. Of course he had perfect hearing, you had realised that you had basically told them everything unintentionally and you decided that muting yourself and controlling your anger would be best in the future.

You sighed, pinching the bridge of your nose. Inhaling sharply. If you didn’t tell them now they really wouldn’t leave you alone.

“I said i wouldn’t have lost my phone in the first place if it wasn’t for Scott”you repeated yourself quietly.

“No about the animal”Stiles said folding his arms.

This time an aggressive groan of frustration left your lips.

“After i left Scott last night, i dropped my phone and i was trying to find it and something tried to attack me. It kind of did and kind of didn’t now don’t come up with any of those bullshit theories about how i’m a freaking werewolf”you warned.

Stiles looked as though he was conflicted for a couple of seconds before turning to Scott who was sniffing the air like a dog.

“What is that smell?”Scott asked as he continued to stick his nose in the air.

“It smells like mint, like an old mint and it stinks”you shook your head in disgust as it wafted towards you.

“Guys i can’t smell it”Stiles frowned.

“See this is what i mean, like earlier i had all the time in the world to catch the balled during lacrosse and that’s not the only weird thing. I can hear stuff i should not be able to hear. Smell things”Scott explained, growing increasingly stressed.

You really didn’t want to explain that you were going through the same thing, especially to two strangers.

“Smell things? Like what?”Stiles questioned.

“Like that damned Mint Mojito gum in your pocket, please it reeks throw it away”you pinched your nose.

“Y/N you can smell it aswell?!”Scott asked, his eyes assessing you. He had noticed your appearance had changed drastically overnight. Stiles had noticed aswell.

“I guess”you mumbled taking your attention away from the conversation once again, searching for your phone.

“What actually happened to you last night?”Stiles asked as he watched you.

“Nothing”you lied.

“Y/n please-

“I’ve already told you i got attacked okay? i don’t know what it was but it scratched me really badly”you raised your voice, losing all sanity.

“Show me the scratch”Scott and Stiles yelped in unison.

“No point, it’s not there anymore”you mumbled walking ahead humming to yourself.

Stiles’ mouth dropped open, and he threw his arms around in the air behind you when you had your back to him, frustrated that you didn’t mention it earlier in the day. You spun around as Scott started to speak, Stiles’ arms falling back down to his side quickly.

“Y/n, what if it’s like an infection that had different effects on us i mean look at you suddenly you have grey eyes and your skin has gone so pale it’s almost like it’s glittering”Scott’s head cocked to the side.

“Stop with all these theories seriously, the scratch must’ve just healed overnight maybe it wasn’t as deep as i thought, and as for my pale skin wow thankyou for the insult loser”you exclaimed.

“What about your eyes, how can you explain that?”Stiles interrupted you. You would have come back with something witty but you just didn’t know what to say. You just couldn’t explain it.

“Do you know what, i’m perfectly fine without my phone”you hissed before spinning on your heel, walking away.

Again you didn’t get too far before a hand on your shoulder pulled you backwards gently.

“Y/n, wait stop”Stiles said quietly.

You shrugged his hand from your body before looking up to see an older male, he stood staring at the three of you. His green eyes piercing through your bodies.

“What are you doing here? Huh? This is private property”The handsome man approached you all.

Scott and Stiles stood closer together, frightened but you remained still. Your head tilted to get a closer look at the man, you could’ve sworn you recognised him from somewhere.

Stiles stepped forward, ready to grab your hand and pull you back away from the stranger.

“Uh sorry man, we didn’t know”Stiles explained.

“Yeah we were just looking for something but uh forget it. Uhm. Alright come on i gotta get to work”Scott ran his hands through his hair awkwardly.

Derek’s gaze fell onto you, it was as if you couldn’t move, he was fixated on you the only one who hadn’t said a word. You were stuck. Your lips pressed into a thin line.

Stiles watched the two of you in confusion.

The Hale’s hand lifted from his side, tossing Scott his inhaler, he then proceeded to throw your phone towards you.

But you didn’t move to catch it, in fact you let it drop into the leaves in front of you as you continued staring at Derek. Stiles rushed forwards to pick up your phone for you.

Finally you managed to snap out of the trance, sending Derek a glare before walking off in the opposite direction. Scott and Stiles started to job so they could catch up with you.

There was no way you were going to get rid of them.

“Guys that was Derek Hale, you remember right? He’s only a few years older than us?”Stiles spoke out before yelping as you plucked your phone from his grasp.

“Remember what?”Scott asked.

“His family, they all burned to death in a fire, like ten years ago”

Your heart dropped, you were very familiar with the hale fire... In fact you had witnessed it, you must’ve been 7 when you were playing in the woods not too far from the Hale residents.

You had seen the whole thing so that where you had recognised Derek from.

“I wonder what he’s doing back”Scott noted, continuing to walk towards the car park.

A/N:Part two is finally out, i’m sorry for the layout and the dodgy paragraphs but tumblr is hating on me because i have been away for a while, i’m still editing it to make it better but for now here is part two:) x

[damn-stark]

Dark hope ch.10

A/N- .... okay I hope you guys liked it :)

A/N- a lot of Kylo ren lately but then again this is a Kylo ren series so... I seriously don’t know the timeline in this movie so sorry i just know it takes place in like 2 days.

Warning- nothing

Pairing- Kylo ren x reader

Tagged- @angelmarie823

(Let me know if you want to be tagged)

—

“Y/N.” It was like a whisper. Barely audible but you heard it. You looked over your shoulder and noticed that no one was there. It couldn’t be Kylo ren because you would’ve felt his presence. “Y/N.” You heard it again. You halted where you walked and turned and again and no one was talking to you. It was weird but you also weren’t trying to look to into it at the moment. Poe needed you and you couldn’t leave him waiting at a crucial time.

You turn to your left and go into where Poe was waiting for Finn. As you enter you see still an unconscious General organa. You can’t help but feel guilt as you pass by her bed.

“Still nothing?” You asked as you stood across from Poe. He shook his head and you could tell he was worried. And who wouldn’t be. The life of the resistance rested on Finn and Rose to do what they needed to do. And with the first order hitting the crusisers the worry arose in everyone even you. And there’s nothing you could do right now but wait for Finn and Rose.

Poe was more anxious then you were, you could feel it and see it. He’s an impatient man and that’s not good when it came to stuff like this. Yet again you felt the same. Your kept shaking your leg and tapping your fingers on your lightsaber. The room was quiet making it easier to get lost in your own mind. You were not used to this. Being still in one place before when you were with Han and Chewie you were always on the move, never to long in one place or the other until now. And it just seemed weird. You didn’t like it. Because now you thought of memories you’d rather push back but they came up. The memories took over like the darkness and the light that invaded you, fighting for one to take over.

-

Waiting was something you did a lot. You waited for your father to return home. You would sometimes look out the window of the little hut you lived in, you would look outside just in case if your father would show up. Other times you played with the two toys he managed to get for you to play with. But today it seemed that you were restless. Nothing entertained you. You lay on the floor and saw the sky through the window on the ceiling. The sky was clear and blue with no clouds to find a certain form like you did many times when their was clouds. You groaned as you threw your toy across the room. The sound the toy made when it hit the wall was hollow. You quickly sat up and walked towards it.

Your young self to curious not check it out. You let your fingers graze the wall to try and figure out if there was some secret door in the wall. You squinted your eyes and took a step back. A wide smile spread on your lips as you saw the unplaced lining along that spot. Your fingers began to hurt as you tried to pull it out. And when you did you smiled to yourself. That’s when you heard something. A voice. Calling out to you.

“Y/N.” It couldn’t be. There was no one here beside you. You looked around frieghtned but you were also curious and tempted. “Y/N.” You heard the voice say again. You stretched your hand into the opening and then found a box. You felt a strong force in the box. Your fingers trailed along the Initials the box had, M.W. “Y/N” the voice sounded louder and you felt more tempted to open it. As you opened the mysterious box you found something metal. It was not long but also not short and it had a button on it. You touched it to take it out and as soon as you did you got flashes. You quickly let go and dropped the box. Your eyes were wide and you were breathing heavily.

You heard footsteps approaching which caused you to quickly react and put the box away. You closed the little door and made it seem like it was before. You grabbed your toy and rushed to the floor and lay there. The door opened and your father came in. Even if half of his face was covered with a mask you could still his eyes and they seemed to gleam at the sight of you. You jumped up and wrapped your little arms around his neck.

“Hey daddy.” You greeted him with so much joy. Your eyes gazed over to the hidden door on the wall.

“Hey little star.” He responded.

-

“Y/N? Hey. You there?” Your eyes snapped to Poe who was in front of you waving his hand in front of your face.

“Sorry I was just uhmm..thinking of something.” You said with a fake smile. He nodded but you knew he barely believed it himself. “Uhmm I think all this waiting is just making me very nervous.” You say to him as you got up and went to the table.

“Yeah me too why don’t you go rest I know that things haven’t been easy for you.. you know with everything that went on recently.” He said to you. You know what he was referring to and you sighed.

“I’m fine I want to wait here and hear what Finn has to say.” You said to him with a half smile to try and convince him but he didnt look it.

“Go really Y/N I’ve got it handled I’ll get you if I hear anything okay?” You were hesitant but you listened to him.

When you made it to your room you stood in the center. You remembered the memory you had while you were waiting with Poe. Your hand reached for your lightsaber without much thought. You take it out and now that you see your lightsaber you know that before when you had opened that box it was a lightsaber. But who’s? Who was M.W.? As far as you remember you never saw your father use it then again you were young. But the voice you heard was the same voice you heard in the hall before.

You closed your eyes and rubbed them. Their was to much on your mind. When you opened your eyes you saw your lightsaber and ignited it. Revealing the purple double blades. You closed your eyes again for a brief moment and tried to forget your surroundings and focus on your lightsaber. You twirled it in your hand and then swung before throwing it to your other hand. You fought better with your left hand but you also didn’t have problem fighting with your right. Everything around you seemed to disappear as you lost yourself to the movements you were doing with your lightsaber. You felt every thought that worried you disappear. All your problems vanished for that moment.

The moment though was then broken and you felt your lightsaber clash onto someone else’s. You saw the red blade and knew who it belonged to. You looked up and saw Kylo. Your chest was going up and down rapidly due to your training with your lightsaber. It seemed that you were really focused on your training because this time you didn’t feel his presence.

“Ben.” The name escaped your lips without thought as if almost natural. You both didn’t move from your position. Both lightsabers against one another. But it wasn’t in a threatening way. You both just got lost in the moment and saw nothing else but eachother. At that moment you saw it again, you saw it in eyes the soft look. You saw Ben solo. You didn’t see Kylo ren. Just him, Ben. You both at the moment didn’t question the fact that your lightsabers were physically touching.

You saw the way his eyes wondered down below to your lips yours doing the same to his. When you both looked at one another again this time he seemed to wake from the stupor he was in and cleared his throat. You both turned off your lightsaber. You blinked rapidly and then you let your eyes wonder until they landed on him once again. You swallowed thickly as you saw that his exposed chest. You quickly tried to look else where beside him.

“Hold your arm more up.” He said and you looked at him again but avoided looking further then his face. You felt your face get warm and you felt flustered.

“What?” You questioned and not focused on what he was meaning. You saw that he stepped forward and pushed your arm in a higher position. “Oh yeah okay....wait how are you doing this?” You questioned as you furrowed your eyebrows.

“For some reason the force is connecting us and the connection it’s stronger then I thought.” He said. You hummed in agreement and again avoided looking at him. It had seemed that he noticed what was going on with you because he got closer. He moved your arm again into a better figting position. “Now you’ll get a better hit on your opponent.” He told you.

“Should I try it on you?” You questioned with a smirk playing at your lips. He didn’t say anything but you only smiled. “It’s a joke.”

“This is why you need someone to teach you .... I can teach you.” He said with a certain softness to his tone. You sighed and looked away, once again he was trying to convince you. But this time it was different, You saw that his fingers ghosted over your tattoo and scars on your arm. “They won’t hurt you again.” He said quietly. You then felt his hand on yours, you didn’t move your hand away instead you let it happen.

“Ben..” You whispered. When you looked into his eyes you saw this certain look that you couldn’t quite define. Not now anyway. But it felt like he needed you to be with. But what you didn’t see was that when he looked at you he saw everything he’s always wanted, but when he sees himself he sees nothing you deserve. He felt it again, he felt it everytime he was around you,the light. He tried to deny and hide that feeling but he couldn’t. That’s why he always asked to you join him so could deny what he felt. And because when he went to his grandfathers mask it told me do so. To make you join him.

You noticed that his face was just inches from yours, you could feel his breath on you. You both didn’t say anything. You moved your hand slowly to touch his cheek but as you did you heard someone out your door. Poe.

You looked at your door and heard Poe call to you. And in that instant Ben was gone again.

.

.

.

.

.

[monsterloveday]

Your grief is depressing me.

I have no idea how people will feel reading this, but ultimately I want to because  death is such a taboo subject - its avoided so much that I don't think we do ourselves any favours by avoiding it. After all, if you haven't already been through it, you will at some point. (You know what they say, you can never avoid death or taxes).

Although nothing will ever prepare you for it, I do believe we should give lee way for the people who do want to speak out on it, as it was from going through grief myself, I noticed how so many people tried to silence me due to their own fear / awkwardness / attitude towards it - this is not fair nor is it healthy. Its also a really shitty treatment towards grieving people. I feel that it is such a painful subject that we seem to fear the thought of it (and rightly so), but, I feel we do need to speak on it more - whether you have been through it or not.  This isn't to say that death should be spoken of all the time as that of course would be draining, but I do fear there are many ‘unwritten rules’ on this, one example being that you are ‘bringing people down’ or that people wont want to hear it or know what to say and you can understand that and appreciate that to a point.

But really, pretending death doesn't happen or locking those thoughts away probably don't help individuals when a loved one does actually pass away. I feel it is something us humans have to try and learn to be more open about, to not be afraid to bring it up, accept and perhaps educate ourselves on. When dad was having his last days (as horrendous as they were), I almost feel like I can say that the aftermath of death is actually worse (or maybe just as bad), that it is probably worse for the people who witness the death, over the person who is actually dying. People think that even with death ‘Time is a healer’, I even remember thinking to myself that at the year mark point, I would probably be so much better.

How naive I was. Grief has no expiry date. There is no ‘getting over it’. I feel just as bad now as I did then, and I wonder just how long this will be with me, I then fret that I will always carry this, as like I mention before, there is no ‘Light at the end of the tunnel’ with death. That person has gone, that theyre absence is so loud, it is a constant reminder, its massive, dark and noticable, and that the fact they have died will always, always, always be shit and nothing will change that. Im just telling it like it is.  Since then I look at the rest of my family, friends, and even my dog and worry about how bad it will be WHEN (not if) WHEN other loved ones die. That I have to do this again, and again, many more times. It makes me want to vomit. It makes me want to die first to avoid it. It makes me not like life at all. The world has become a very scary place now, how it snatches anyone it wants, and you are left to deal with that, and live a life knowing that that hangs over you all the time, yet you are expected to just ‘carry on’. At the time I remember seeing a gif of a monster hovering over a man walking up the stairs  - he knew it was there, lurking, waiting for the right moment, an extended version of waiting for the axe to fall. This is exactly how I felt. It. is. Awful. I remember being at dads side all day, at every minute looking at him and my heart pounding, checking if he was still breathing, wondering “is he dead?!”. Seeing my once strong dad now with all sorts of shit in his arms, his face, and everywhere else, not even able to open his eyes, the sounds of the machines trying to help him breathe - gah. Fuck that memory. And then going home to an empty house. My sister was with her other half, my brother his, my mum staying with dad (and rightly so). I had to walk past dads room, his belongings became SO noticeable, that even the sight of them scared me. How different this house was now. I was alone in a house that used to be my family home, now it was a house filled with horrors that reminded you of what was about to be taken away, how just a few weeks before he was in this house - not about to die. I remember wondering what I had done to deserve this, to watch my dad slowly die all day and night and have to come home alone. I wanted to be held. I wanted to be held so tight that it knocked me out. I kept all the lights on and I rang my friend who has also lost her dad and stayed on the phone to her until I fell asleep. I never forget friends like that. It was the worst. It was hell - but it wasn't a case of I was owed bad karma, its that life can be cruel, and it can be cruel to ANYONE. Not just me. And that ultimately - death is a part of life. When he died, after 10 long days of waiting for it to happen, I couldn't deal how people looked at me awkwardly, that I was the elephant in the room, that it is said that talking about things will help but yet when you try and open up peoples body language scream “I DONT KNOW WHAT TO SAY TO YOU”, the looks on their faces, the silence. Not only that most of the people around me hadn't lost anyone, so they didn't get it, but that my grief was actually making THEM feel awkward or that they didnt really want to speak to me. Some friends didn't even bother to contact me and said “ I didn't think you would want to come out”. It all added to my isolation. To this day I still don't talk to close friends or even my family about it, how death has taken such a massive characteristic from me - expression. Its taken so much of me. And people don't know what to say. That is not an attack or criticism, because its not a popular topic, and people avoid it like the plague. And rightly so, because its depressing. But this is why I wanted to write about it, I feel that if talking of death wasn't so taboo, It would help people for when they are actually going through it, or even in the smallest way, help them accept or prepare for an inevitable death, theres no ‘How To’ on death and for me personally, not having addressed death before - it really kicked my ass (and still is to this day) when it did arrive - after all, everyone goes through it at some point in their lives. Soon people see it as old news’ (especially after the funeral - how ghastly funerals are) and assume you must be ‘better’ now. It really doesn't work like that. Its ongoing. The heart specialist that saw dad through his last days told us himself that life is much harder after the funeral - this made me dread and dread and dread the funeral so much. But he was so right. Every day was so scary, dreadful and just black. It really does feel like you are in a out of body experience, that your mind just cant handle what is going on, so it shuts itself down and blocks things out whichever way it can, for some its denial, shock, its like your in a never ending nightmare and you just want to wake up. Soon after, my sister announced her pregnancy and I freaked.the.hell.out. I couldn't deal with all this massive change in my family in a tiny amount of time, what If I never see her now?, she will have her own family and we will be forgotten?!, that dad just missed it! what if what if what if?!!?. I ate and ate my way through these situations, I couldn't control or be disciplined at such a bad time in my life, the weight piled on and so did the depression - but this decision to eat has made things so much worse - but I still wouldn't have been able to do it any other way. I had a breakdown and that very morning took myself to the doctor. I couldn't deal and I wanted pills to take me out of this, at any cost. I wanted to be drugged at the highest level. Just take it away. Pills. They were not my friend. This in itself will be another blog as I want to stay focused on this topic. But in short, my health went to shit. My confidence was dropping and dropping and dropping. I stopped sculpting, I stopped art, I stopped ukulele, I stopped cooking. I stopped dating. I stopped singing, I stopped trying. My labido completely vanished. I didn't feel like a human anymore, I couldn't give love and I couldn't receive it. I was just a thing with skin. I didn't like boys, boys wouldn't like me - not at this weight and my belly. I hated how I looked, I hated my hair, I hated my whole appearance, I hated my now unfitting clothes, I hated how depressing clothes shopping had become, so I stopped. Everything I once took pleasure in, didn't please me anymore. Not even if I tried. I think I could have done the most amazing things and it still wouldn't budge this thing inside of me, taking over. I was turning into the worst version of me, a version of me I never knew existed. Mornings became a demon.  Im sure theres loads of you that relate to this and know what I mean by this. Id be in bed and suddenly my heart raced and it felt like that feeling you get when your about to do something that scares the shit our of you or makes you so nervous you need to puke, that the tiniest tasks became mountains - “Oh my actual god I have to get out of bed today and face people and do things”?!?!  I was so nervous and scared all the time and didn't know why.

I become so so tired having to work throughout the week, yet hated the weekends because of feeling unproductive or lonely. I felt so tired doing too much but felt like I had to be doing something as soon as I stopped, its like you are in a constant battle with yourself. My life went from grief, to anxiety and depression all in one hit. And I had to try and live with it every single day. Its so hard. And I still have to keep fighting through all this crap that life throws at me, Im still not at the ‘other side’ of all this and when I think I've had my dose of it, it gives me some more. But life does this to everyone and thats why I think its important to not be afraid of being open about feeling shit, because we can be there for each other. Yet we all seem to stay quiet and get annoyed when people express themselves if they are feeling sad, they are given the “you are so negative / moaning label - this isn't the case. I hate that people turn a blind eye because people express their negative emotions, really, what is wrong with that? I think ultimately I want to say to anyone that has lost someone, or is about to, or maybe people that just battle with their inner demons... Its annoying as hell but you have to fight back. And I know its so frustrating to have to fight for things that other people get so freely. Like - just being ok. Know that I am with you. I. Am. With. You. Know that this terror, too shall pass and you will get stronger. You will.

And you'll be surprised by how many people feel the way you do, but we just don't speak of it, so we think its unique to us - its not, we are a massive bunch of humans who suffer but not together!. I learned that life isn't always on my side and admitting that life is hard, we just have to get harder, and we do. I think sometimes we don't realise it though. You don't have to be fearless to be brave, being scared all the time is brave, because you have to force yourself through the fear all the time! I wont ever be the same person I was before my dad died, but maybe I need to stop trying to be, maybe its ok that I will always be a little bit broken. Death is so life changing for the people still remaining, so don't expect to stay the same person. And that is also OK. I would like to hope that at some time, life will be brighter for us once more, I think good and bad times pass by like waves, we cant have one without the other. What a beautiful cunt life is, ay? =p. One difference I have noticed in myself is how much more appreciative I am of small things. Just being with people, taking photos, hearing the birds sing, Knowing that life isn't forever, but its now, and now is all we have. So go get that tattoo, go on that trip you have always wanted too, tell that person how deeply in love with them you are, go and get your life and chase those goals, its scary, but its worth it. We wont be here forever! There is no “Im over it” now, as mentioned before, after losing someone, a gap is there that will never be filled.  But. Although it seems so very unlikely, you will feel love again You will laugh so hard again You will be able to think of that person and a smile come onto your face, instead of a tear and sometimes it will just be tears Sometimes you will miss them so much it hurts Sometimes you will feel lucky you had them in your life Sometimes you will feel cheated that they were taken away. There will be days where you can face things and days where you cant. You will never feel just one way, but you really do learn to live with it, and I promise you, although you will miss them so much - you're going to be OK. You become better at always being sad about it, and it will always be there, but it wont destroy you like it does in the early days / months / years. I was watching a film last night, about a man who died and was saying to his still alive wife beyond the grave, “I still exist”. This filled my heart will sheer comfort - the thought that death doesn't mean they are gone, that they really are still alive - just somewhere else. Dad please be up there, I really want to see your face again! and the hope that I could gives me me such a lift!. And maybe if we try to think, that maybe death isn't the worst thing, because hopefully our loved ones have gone somewhere BETTER! where they are the happiest they could ever be, no suffering, no pain and that they are having a ball up there! its like I've said, I think its worse for the people left behind and maybe if we start accepting that death happens, maybe we wont fight against it so much by knowing that death isn't the end! Im trying to hard to feel this way! Involve only good people in your life, be true to yourself, express yourself no matter how you feel and most importantly... They still exist. Jay

[virulentshadow]

*Kharinas Mate*

We met briefly in the Quicksand. A few shared words after a passing glance. I didnt know then just how much he would mean now. As I walked out of Uldah and across that bridge I didnt expect it to change how I lived. I had accepted my life of being alone and wandering aimlessly for somewhere to eventually call home. Then they attacked and in the brief moments of my capture I saw he was also taken .. Over the next three months I was afraid and was trapped in a dungeon with this stranger and didnt know if we would ever escape. He was different and never spoke leaving me to assume the worst with each passing day. I remember the first words he spoke to me.. asking me if I was okay. I remember watching the color draining from his face..seeing him get weaker and weaker I thought we would die here in this place. I remember him struggling to speak as he told me about his past. Im still not sure why. Maybe he too thought we werent going to make it. I remember not understanding what exactly Voidsent were or what it meant to need aether to survive. I only knew it was something inside of me ... something that could help keep us alive. I remember exactly how his breath felt as it brushed across my neck. I remember the sharp pain as he bit down and the rush of fear and excitement that followed. The next days he grew stronger and eventually enough to break our "cage" I thought as we were running out they would catch us and throw us back into that place. We hid out in the shrouds. The sounds of the trees in the wind and waterfalls lulled me to sleep. One night while I woke middream to a soft kiss on my cheek. When I opened my eyes there was nothing into the  darkness he had walked away.

THE BATTLE

The two next years were lonely and filled with hunting and training. I stayed hidden unsure of my safety and didnt bother finding any long term companionship. I did only what I needed to survive. One day while in Limsa my linkshell seemed to malfunction and a voice came through. It was familiar but unrecognised. It said to meet them at a location. I entered the area undecided if it was a good idea or not. When I got closer I noticed a man standing in the middle. I stopped a ways before reaching him unsure of what his intentions were. I stood staring at the man. His voice sounded somewhat familiar but I couldnt figure out from what. The talk of Aether reminded my of a friend long ago.. but this couldnt be him. He looked so different though it was hard to tell with all the armour he wore. And then he spoke:

"I am your savior from the Imperials that time long ago. Though this may not be the reunion one may find pleasant."

I stood still unable to find my words. I had so many questions and so much to say but didnt know where to start. Instead all I could do was stand there and stare at him. I took a step back from him but froze. If I left now how would I ever get answers. Little did I know that a battle was about to commense.

He held out his hand as dark aether would form into a ball in his palm. "Thank you for saving me in the past, but now.  You must die." His arm began bolting black electricity which began flowing into the ball making it grow slightly larger.... he feels his hand and arm get thrown back from the blast, it leaves his palm hitting its mark perfectly. As the blast hits in front of me the lightning surges and knocks me off her feet. Struggling to stand I look up at him.  "Pleasant? Why would I ever think of you and expect pleasant? You vanished! I needed you and you were gone. Where the fuck did you go?!"  Enraged I didnt wait for a response. Instead I drew her sword and ran towards him. He would begin another blast this one forming faster than the first. "You would not understand how the void calls."

I continued toward him but once again was struck by the blast. It wasnt as strong as the last but it was strong enough to knock the weapon out of my hand and the breath out of me. Hurling my shield at him I collapsed to the ground. "Why are you doing this?" I asked trying to catch my breath. He held out his arm opening his palm once more. The ball forming once again. "Why, why.." he repeats to himself. I stands slowly in front of him not bothering to pick up my sword or shield. That would be pointless. I had hoped for so long for his return and here he was in front of me. I wasnt letting him go this time without telling him how I feel. I reach out he has time to move I placed my hand in his feeling the energy from the orb.

He looks at her hand as his orb dissipates. He shakes his head again. "Why are you so forgiving. I've abandoned most of my Auri side and leaned towards the void."  His other hand comes to my neck, but he does not squeeze hard enough to stop my speech.

I stood silent for a moment giving myself time to gether thoughts wonding what was running through his mind. "Then perhaps it is you..that doesnt truly understand. I.. accepted the voidscent part of you long ago and while you may not have seen it. I was yours. When you disappeared something broke inside of me. I have spent the last two years going from place to place in search of something. While my excuse has been a necklace..that wasnt what it was really about. I have hunted and trained and traveled in hopes that one day I would run into you again...and just when I gave up here you are... and I want to know why. To kill me? No i dont accept that. Tell me why."

He releases my neck and takes his hand from mine as he took a few steps back. "You have grown stronger. In my studies i've reached a conclusion. Feeding off other sources of aether has not sated me as much as yours, that might be because you were the first i've drained from." He holds up his hand as his armor disappears into a cloud and the red ripples around him disapate into nothing. "I was going to kill you, oddly enough. I cannot bring myself to do it." he eyes my neck where he just had his hand. It had a bruised outline of a handprint.  Bringing his hand to the mark he brushes it slightly, "and now i've hurt you, for some reason, I feel guilty."

Shaking my head I walked over to him and slowly unbuttoned the top of my blouse pulling it slightly open. Tilting my head back to expose it more to him I said softly "Then feed on me. I was and still am yours" and closed my eyes waiting. I could feel his hand trail to my shoulder tightened as he began too lean forward, he paused and removed his hand. He huffed. "Very well then, Do you know what it means to be in a contract with a voidsent?"

Shaking my head I replied. "I do not.. you are the only one that i have met."

"I'm not a full voidsent, so my contract is slightly different. I'll protect you and in turn you'll offer yourself to me."

"Then I agree. As long as you dont disappear again. and if at some point you must go.. least say goodbye before you leave. Until then I am yours.

"I've achieved what I came for, in time you will understand."  He reaches for my unbuttoned shurt and opens it up wider. He looks at the scar he left from the last time he fed off of me. "Hmph." He huffs taking a few steps from me turning his back. "There is much to be done, I still have much to do."

Watching him walk away I ran towards him not wanting him to leave.. "Where will you go from here? I dont want to spend another two years looking for you.. " I spoke softly but clear. "What are you going to do?" . "There is an extremely powerful sucuubus that has had her eye on me, the moment i began my journey. My first task is to rid the world of her.""Well is there anything that I can do to help you?" I asked now standing next to his side. He held out a linkshell to me it was different than the normal brown link shells handed out. This one was black and when held to the ear had small static sounds. "With this you will always have direct contact with me. From now on you will be by my side indefinitely."

I took the linkshell from him and put it away stepping closer and wrapping my arms around him burrying my face into his chest smiling. "Good .. where do we go from here?"

TO BE CONTINUED @follower-of-the-void

[angstalottle]

I Dont Deserve It

Commission for @surinnsenpai

It started out innocently enough.

Just skip lunch to get a little extra training in, missing one meal was fine especially when all he was going without was grabbing a bowl of goo and listening as his friends congratulate each other during training.

Never him though.

Sure they will bring up a good shot he made but it will be quickly forgotten and overshadowed by something Keith did.

It was always Keith.

Lance wished he could hate the guy he really did, he was just so obnoxiously perfect and better than him in every way that it made his blood boil just to think of him. Lance wanted to loathe him, to curse his name to no end.

But a part of him knew that wasn’t fair.

That Keith couldn’t help it.

Someone had to be the best…. And someone had to be the worst.

That became almost like a mantra for Lance as he spent hours upon hours dueling against the training bot.

His body being beaten as his friends laughed and chatted not even realising he was missing.

Lance lay on the floor curling up on himself as the bot vanished in a glimmer of light. He had managed to get to level five, a personal best of his.

He had stupidly let his guard down, not noticing as the level increased the bots movements grew faster while his exhausted body grew slower.

All it took was one sluggish dodge and a swift kick in the ribs for him to crumble to the ground with a cry of pain.

“End training sequence.” Lance gasped agony shooting up his side just from the effort of talking.

He was so close to level six, he could practically taste it.

But judging from the pain Lance knew he had to stop now or risk getting really hurt, or worse the team finding out what he was doing.

It wasn’t that he was hiding his extra training sessions exactly, more that he didn’t want him to know just how far behind the others he really was.

That if they knew he could barely scratch level five while even Pidge was well in the twenties then maybe they wouldn’t want him on the team anymore and finally find the person meant to be the blue paladin now that the stand in just isn’t cutting it anymore.

A lump formed in Lance’s throat as he pushed himself up off the ground, arms shaking from the effort.

He had to bite his lip to keep from crying out as he stood up, his ribs burning and tears prickling at his eyes.

“Lance?”

No no no please not him.

Lance forced a smile on his face as he turned to look at Keith.

He was stood in the doorway, towel draped across his shoulders and bayard in hand. He was clearly coming for training alerting Lance to just how long he had spent trying to get better and failing miserably.

“Hey mullet, not at lunch?” Lance asked managing to hide a wince behind a chuckle.

“We finished like ten minutes ago… you weren’t there?” Keith asked his eyebrows knitting in confusion.

His words were like a punch to the gut, he didn’t even notice that Lance wasn’t there. Did anyone notice?

Did anyone care?

Lance wanted to curl up somewhere and cry but he knew that he was already a burden on the team, he couldn’t be a mope on top of all that.

So instead lance shrugged “I grabbed a bowl and then went for a nap. I figured i could get a little beauty sleep before Allura busts are balls all day.”

Keith seemed to relax a little, buying the story fed to him. After all it was easier to believe a lie then look for a truth that would call for your attention.

Lance knew he just wasn’t worth the attention no matter how much his brain screamed at him to ask for help.

Another jolt of pain from his ribs pulled Lance out of his thoughts, they could be bruised maybe even cracked. He had to tell someone.

Lance opened his mouth but when Allura stormed in with a glare on her face it snapped shut again.

She was on the warpath, likely stressed and more exhausted than all of them put together. Last thing she needed to worry about right now was the useless seventh wheel.

So Lance kept quiet all through training.

He ignored the blinding pain that erupted with every breath and every movement.

But he couldn’t ignore how he fell behind the others, how they lapped him running and left him in their dust.

Allura didn’t ignore it.

“Lance! Stop goofing around and take this seriously!” She yelled as Lance once again fell out of pace with the others.

“S-sorry princess, im just tired i guess.” Lance shrugged trying to give her a small smile.

“We’re all tired Lance but you actually have to try here.” Shiro jogged next to him, going painfully slow in comparison to his usual speed. “I don’t want to be the bad guy here but if you don’t start pushing in the next few laps you have to train through dinner.”

Lance’s stomach rumbled at the thought.

He couldn’t remember the last time he had eaten lunch, but dinner was different. It was when Hunk took over the kitchen and scents so painfully familiar to home would fill the air.

It was the one time of day where he didnt feel the ache of homesickness because he could close his eyes and pretend the off tune humming coming from the kitchen was his mama making dinner.

So Lance put what little energy he had into running.

He tried, God did he try to catch up. To not be a disappointment.

However come the end of training Shiro closed the door behind him “don’t come out until you’ve run 50 laps, i don’t know what your playing at today but i won’t let you get out of training.”

Soon as they were gone lance slid down to the floor, lifting his shirt to see the deep purple bruises that stretched across his side.

He winced and he prodded at his ribs experimentally. They hurt like hell but from what he could find weren’t in any danger of puncturing his lungs.

Lance elt out a long sigh and he pulled himself up and looked around the empty training room.

“Just 50 laps… just 50 laps then i’ll tell Coran i need a pod.” He mumbled as he began to run.

————————————————————

Shiro yawned as he walked into lunch the next day.

He had been up all night with nightmares and because of that Allura had decided to grant the paladins a personal day.

She herself badly needed one, being so stressed about an upcoming alliance meeting that she had barely slept for the last two nights.

Hunk and Pidge had binge worked the night before so also appreciated the extra rest.

Keith though not minding the personal day would of preferred to train instead of lounge about on the couch while Hunk made a special lunch.

“Morning sleeping beauty.” Hunk greeted as he placed down a large tray filled with pastel pink puff balls.

They looked like baked rocks but there was no denying the smell “Are those garlic knots?” Shiro asked his eyes widening.

Hunk grinned proudly “Yeah i felt bad that Lance missed dinner last night and wanted to make sure he had one of his favorites. I know he’s been missing home and i figured this would help.”

Shiro couldn’t help marvel at Hunk. He never ceased to amaze him, somehow managing to create a earth style food up in space all to make his friend feel better.

“I’m sure he will love them.” Shiro looked around and realised Lance was missing from the table so poked his head into the lounge, frowning when he found Lance wasn’t there either.

“Has anyone seen Lance today?” Shiro asked receiving a chorus of nos from the team.

“Perhaps he is still asleep? I must admit i didn’t hear his go to bed last night so it must of been pretty late.” Allura suggested a pang of guilt hitting her as she only now realised the absence of their blue paladin.

“I swung round his room this morning to see if he wants breakfast but he wasn’t there. I figured he already ate and was in the lounge…” Hunk looked down at his team a realisation hitting him “So no one has seen him all day?”

The nos this time came with a note of panic.

“Last i saw him was in the training room.” Pidge pulled out her laptop and began to look through the castles security cameras.

Suddenly she gasped bolting out of her seat “He needs help!” She yelled.

No one hesitated to follow her.

Lance was laying on the floor.

His body shaking, skin pale and limbs too heavy to move even an inch.

He was so close!

49 laps down and only one more to go. He had somehow managed to crawl the last five when his legs gave out and his head spun from a mixture of pain and hunger.

At some point his body just stopped working, leaving him lying there unable to move due to exhaustion or sleep due to the emptiness of his stomach.

He lay there for hours just staring at the course in front of him.

One more lap.

Keith could do it in a heartbeat.

Keith would of taken all night and half the day just to get this far.

Keith would’ve gotten hurt.

Keith wouldn’t of been forgotten so easily.

This time when tears pricked at Lance’s eyes he didn’t try to stop them. They fell down his cheeks and clouded his vision. He just wanted the pain to stop so badly.

Somewhere behind him he thought he heard the doors open and footsteps come running towards him.

He thought he felt gently hands and worried voices calling his name.

He thought he felt strong arms carry him and lay him down on a soft bed.

But he couldn’t be sure.

After All who would care enough to do that for him?

——————————————————————–

Certain moments were cemented in Shiro’s mind as being truly terrible.

Being captured and forced to fight in the arena was one.

Finding Lance lying half conscious on the ground with a racing pulse and too shallow breathing was another one.

Coran diagnosed him with severe malnutrition.

Apparently he had been just about managing to function on breakfast and dinner. But after three meals in a row he was finally sent over the edge.

Shiro felt awful.

Lance had clearly been off him game in training but instead of checking if he had been ok they all assumed he was goofing off.

Worse Shiro had punished him when he was clearly trying his damned hardest.

The bruises were a shock as well.

One that sent Keith screaming about how he should of know. How he was too much of an idiot to see something was wrong.

But that was hours ago.

They had taken shifts sitting next to Lance as an IV fed nutrients directly into his bloodstream hoping he would wake up.

Shiro sat by his bedside when Lance finally let out a small groan and came to.

“Shiro?” he croaked wincing at the bright lights of the infirmary.

“Yeah kiddo its me, how are you feeling?” Shiro asked offering a water pouch that Lance too gratefully.

“Like crap… what happened?” Lance asked.

Shiro didn’t say anything for a really long time and when he finally did Lance almost wished he had kept quiet “You passed out training… Lance why haven’t you been eating? Not just last night, Coran said you haven’t eaten lunch in months and that you skip breakfast most days.”

Lance looked away not baring to see the inevitable disappointment and rejection in hid leaders eyes “I don’t deserve it.”

“Don’t deserve what?” Shiro asked tilting Lance’s face towards him “To eat?”

Lance nodded and flinched at the look of rage that crossed Shiro’s face “Who told you that?” he growled.

“N-no one did… it’s just im worthless im nothing compares to you guys. I try my best but no matter how much i train i can’t get past level fucking five.” Lance didn’t even realise he was crying until the tears stained the sheets.

Shiro stared at him in horror for a moment, was this the kind of leader he was? He always thought that creating a little competition within the team would encourage them all to work harder but now… Oh God he had let this kid think he was nothing just because he didn’t have as high a level as the others.

Shiro pulled Lance into a hug “Listen to me Lance McClain, you are not a nothing and you are certainly not useless! You are the kindest, bravest more good hearted person i have ever met. I have never seen someone with aim like yours, you think level five is bad? Lance your a sniper, in long distance training your hundreds of levels ahead of us! You deserve to eat and you deserve to be a Paladin!”

Lance didn’t say anything, he didn’t need to.

Instead he hugged Shiro tighter like a lifeline and sobbed.

After that day team meals became mandatory and Shiro made sure lance knew he was as worthy as the rest of them no matter what.

[brokenin21stcentury]

THE MOMENT I REALIZED

I AM EMPTY. MY FEELINGS VANISHED FROM MY BODY. THERE’S NOTHING LEFT OF ME.

I WANT TO FEEL BUT I DONT. I LISTEN BUT I DONT HEAR. I AM TRYING TO UNDERSTAND BUT I DONT UNDERSTAND.

I WANT TO SCREAM BUT I DONT HAVE THE VOICE. I WANT TO CRY, BUT I CAN’T AS THERES NOTHING THAT WOULD CAUSE THEM TO DROP BY DROP DOWN MY FACE. I KNOW I WAS HURT BUT I WAS HURT SO MANY TIMES THAT I AM EMPTY NOW. THERE SHOULD BE PAIN BUT THERE ISNT. THERE SHOULD BE HATE BUT THERES IS NO HATE IN ME. HAPPINESS, THAT ALSO LEFT ME LAST NIGHT.

I AM SIMPLE BOY IN MY TWENTIES BUT NOW I FEEL MY LIFE HAS BEEN TAKEN AWAY, NOT ONLY BECAUSE OF MY FIRST HEARTBREAK BUT BECAUSE OF EVERY FUCKING HURTFUL HATEFUL THING I HAVE HEARD BEEING THROWN AT MY FACE. DISRESPECT COMES MY WAY EVERYDAY. MAYBE. JUST MAYBE. IS THAT ME, IS THAT MY FAULT, DID I CAUSED THIS ?

•HEARTBREAK•

SOMETIME AGO I FELT MY HEART IS STONE COLD AND DEAD. IT JUST PUMPS MY BLOOD AND THAT’S IT. I WAS TEACHING MYSELF TO LOVE, AND CREATE SOMETHING FAKE. AS YEARS OVER THE YEARS PEOPLE DID SOME CRAZY THINGS AND I FELT LONE AND DOWN. BUT I DID MY BEST.

ONE DAY I JUST DECIDED TO SEE WHERE COULD A PRETTY FACE PUT ME. MAYBE WILL TELL ME THAT I AM NOTHING AND JUST MY LOOKS DOESNT FIT THE NEEDS. i was wrong.

BOY WHO THOUGHT HIM SELF TO BE SOMEONE AND NEVER LISTEN TO ANYONE. AS TILL NOW PEOPLE ONLY HURT ME.

I FEEL IN LOVE THE MOMENT I SAW HIM WALKING MY WAY. I FEEL IN LOVE WHEN HE STARTED TO SPEAK. I FEEL IN LOVE WHEN YOU SMILED. *inhale and exhale* HIS SMILE WAS JUST SOMETHING, IT HIT ME AS A ELECTRICITY AND TEARED DOWN THE STONE COLD WALL AROUND MY HEART. I FEEL IN LOVE WITH HIM WHEN HE WAS SPEAKING. I LOVED MYSELF WHEN I WAS AROUND HIM. I WAS LISTENING AND I UNDERSTOOD, THERE WAS HAPPINESS AND PASSION. THAT’S WHY THAT DAY I FEEL IN LOVE WITH HIM BECAUSE I LOVED MYSELF. WHO WOULD KNEW THAT JUST ONE PERSON WOULD COME AND HEAT ME UP AND BUILD ME UP.

AS YOU SEE, THE STORY IS ABOUT CAUSING MY BREATH STOPPING, STOPPING MY BODY. NOT EVEN CREATING THE STONE AROUND MY HEART BECAUSE SIMPLY I DONT BELIEVE THERES SOMETHING EVEN IN ME ANYMORE.

WE SPENT TIME, TALKED AND DID THINGS. HE STAYED AT MY PLACE. HE WAS NEXT TO ME. AND PUT HIS HEAD ON MY CHEST. AND MY HEART TURNED INTO A FIRE. BEAUTIFUL, WARM FIRE. AND EVERY OTHER THING I KNEW ABOUT LOVE WAS NOT EVEN CLOSE WHAT I FELT. NOW I KNOW HOW THE HEAVEN FEELS LIKE. I WAS DEAD AND YOU WOKE ME UP. YOU GOT UP. GAVE THE LAST KISS AND WALKED OUT. I WAS THE HAPPIEST PERSON ALIVE. I DIDNT NEED ANYTHING. I WAS JUST ME. BUT THEN IT ALSO CAUSED PAIN.

MAKES SENES, EVERYTHING IS IN BALANCE. I FELT PAIN BECAUSE YOU LEFT, I FELT PAIN BEACUSE YOURE NOT HEAR. I FELT PAIN BECAUSE I WANTED YOU HERE. I FELT LOVE BECAUSE I WOKE UP NEXT TO YOU, AT THE SAME FEELING PAIN, BECAUSE WHY I AM THE LUCKIEST TO HAVE YOU.

- I WAS WRITE. why did i have you?

THE ANSWER IS SIMPLE. I NEVER HAD YOU. YOU WANTED TO EXPLORE. JUST WITH THE WRONG PERSON. YOU SIMPLY SAID - IT WAS A MISTAKE. I NEVER SHOULD HAVE STARTED THIS. YOU ARE SWEET AND LOVING BUT I HAVENT GOT OVER SOMEONE.

IT KILLED ME. YOU KILLED ME WITH YOUR MISTAKE. AND AT THE BEGINNING I SAID THE ONLY THING PEOPLE HAVE DONE IN MY LIFE IS CAUSED PAIN. AND YOU WERENT ANY BETTER. YOU MADE ME ALIVE. WILD AND FREE. I WAS MILION TIMES BETTER THEN I WAS THAT PERSON WHEN I WAS 12 YEARS OLD WHEN MANY PEOPLE DESTROYED ME IN PIECES.

I FINALLY THOUGHT ITS MY TIME, SOMETHING GOOD FINALLY. IT WAS ME WHO REBORN WITH MORE IN ME THEN EVEN. BUT YOU ONLY NEEDED TO TELL ME I WAS A MISTAKE TO KILL ME. ONLY THIS TIME THE FALL WAS MUCH HIGHER, THE PAIN, MUCH GREATER AND EVERYTHING ELSE WAS WAY MORE PAINFUL THEN WHEN I WAS 12 YEARS OLD.

*RECOVERY*

MANY THINGS HAPPENED, YOU MADE ME TO NOTICE THAT YOURE STILL HERE. AROUND ME. TO MAKE SURE I AM NOT GETTING UP FROM A PLACE YOU KILLED ME.

HAVING THE BEST PEOPLE AROUND ME AND TREATING MYSELF GOOD AND DOING THINGS THAT I LOVE. WITH A TIME I BUILT MYSELF AS A DECENT HUMAN. NOT HAPPY. NOT SAD. NOT MAD. JUST SIMPLE BREATHING CREATURE. I WAS BREATHING AGAIN. ALIVE, MAYBE NOT REALLY. I WAS BETTER ANYWAYS.

*REALIZED PT. 1*

YOU MAYBE CAME MY WAY TO SHOW ME WHAT I CAN BE. AND FUCK ME UP AT THE SAME TIME. BECAUSE THINGS WERE CHANGING. THEY WERE CHANGING BECAUSE I WAS A PERSON WITH NO SOUL. I WAS JUST GOING THROUGH LIFE AS IT NEVER REALLY MATTERED. SO IT HAD TO SHOW ME. THAT I CAN LIVE, BE IN LOVE AND BE SEXY. AT THE SAME TIME. FEELINGS ARE JUST A GAME AND PEOPLE ARE STILL JUST TO HURT YOU.

*FEELINGS*

SOMETIME AGO I HAD MY FIRST REAL CRUSH ON A BOY. I MEAN, EXISTING PERSON IN FRONT OF ME. NOT SOMEWHERE VIRTUALLY. WE MET ONCE, IT WAS BEAUTIFUL BUT COMPLICATED. AS HE WAS NOT LIVING CLOSE. JUST HUNDREDS OF KILOMETERS AWAY. SO IT WAS SOMETHING BUT STILL IT WAS SO SHORT AND THE TIME WAS STOLEN TO ACTUALLY MAKE THIS WORK.

TAKING YOU BACK TO NOW.

THIS FIRST CRUSH AGAIN IS BACK FOR COUPLE OF DAYS. I MEET HIM AND AT THE END OF THE EVENING I KISSED YOU. AND AWKWARD MOMENT TURNED INTO BEAUTIFUL PASSIONATE NIGHT FOR JUST COUPLE OF SECONDS. BUT HIS LIPS TASTED AMAZING.

NEXT DAY I GAVE ROOM FOR YOU TO DO SOMETHING AND YOU DIDNT DO ANYTHING. AND THE NIGHT WAS OVER.

TWO DAYS LATER MY FRIEND HAD THE LAST GOOD BY PARTY AS SHES LEAVING. WE BROUGHT THE PARTY TO HOME AND PARTIED THERE.

TILL YOU SAID YOURE IN TOWN. AND WE MIGHT MEET. TOOK ME COUPLE OF MINUTES TO GET READY, AND MY BESTFRIEND AND OTHER FRIEND WAS ON THE HUNT FOR YOU.

I MET YOU. YOU WERE COLD. I WAS CONFUSED. THEN RUMOR WAS, THAT YOURE GONE. BUT MOMENT LATER YOU WERE THERE. NEXT TABLE. NOT GIVING ANY ATTENTION. ALTHOUGH MY FRIENDS HELPED ME TO GET IT. THEY SAID YOU WERE LOOKING AT ME HOW I DANCE. YOU JOINED OUR TABLE WITH YOUR FRIEND. BUT DIDNT SAY ANYTHING.

THEN MOMENT LATER WE ALL ARE LEAVING FOR ANOTHER PLACE. WE TAKE A CAB AND WE ARE TWO MANY. GIRLS TAKE THE CAB I CALLED AND YOURE LEFT WITH ME.

WHILE WAITING. YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU COULDNT NOT LOOK. YOU LIKED THE WAY I DANCED. AND ACTUALLY YOURE HAPPY THAT ITS JUST YOU AND ME HERE BECAUSE YOU GET TIME WITH ME.

AT THE BAR WE ARE FINALLY GOING TO ORDER DRINKS. YOU AND YOURE FRIEND ARE IN FRONT OF ME. YOURE TOUCHING MY LEG AND I RESPOND. YOURE GIVING ME SIGNALS. I LIKE IT. BY THE TABLE YOU IGNORED ME.

EVENING IS GOING SUPER NOT WELL. AND I AM ALMOST SOBER. I TOOK SHOTS. WE GO OUT TO SMOKE. WE GO BACK FOR THE TOILET.

*Toilet*

THERES TWO DOORS IN THE TOILET. ONE IS TAKEN. I GO FIRST. HEARD YOUR KNOCKS. I GO OUT AND LET YOU GO IN. FUCK, I AM AN IDIO. I DIDNT PULL YOU IN.

YOU CAME OUT. AND ANOTHER PERSON CAME IN. HE IS WASHING HANDS. AND YOURE WAITING TO DO THE SAME. YOURE WASHING YOUR HANDS. ITS JUST YOU AND ME. YOU GIVE ME A LOOK THROUGH THE MIRROR. THAT AGAIN TURN ME ON AND I FELT SOMETHING GOOD. THE NEXT MOMENT. OUR LIPS MEET. I AM AGAINST THE WALL. KISSING. AND ENJOYING. FIREWORKS IN ME. FEELING GOOD. TILL I GOT SCARED IF SOMEONE COMES IN. AND I STOPED. BUT I WAS A FOOL NOT TO GO BACK AND CONTINUE.

THAT WAS IT THAT NIGHT. I FELT AMAZING BUT I WAS MISSING MORE.

NEXT DAY I ACTUALLY COULDNT DRIVE BUT I DROVE YOU HOME. HOLDED YOUR HAND ALL THE WAY. HOPED MAYBE WILL CONTINUE WHAT WE STARTED LAST NIGHT. BUT NO, NOTHING HAPPENED. IT WAS ONLY YESTERDAY.

*SAME EVENING*

I AM HOME WITH MY PARENTS. I THINK ITS ENOUGH. BUT TO SAY FAST. THEY TOLD ME THAT I AM HORRIBLE. SHITTY SON, AND I FELT HOW MAD AND UNHAPPY THEY ARE WITH ME. I SAW HATE. AND DIDNT KNOW ABOUT WHAT WAS THAT. AND SOMETIMES ALL YOU NEED IS ACCEPTANCE FROM YOUR PARENTS. FOR YOUR PARENTS TO SAY - YOURE DOING GREAT SON. KEEP UP. NEVER HEARD THAT. AND THE QUESTION IN MY HEAD IS - WHAT DID I DO SO WRONG? DO THEY LOVE ME?

MOMENT I REALIZED ...

I AM EMPTY. ALL THESE PEOPLE JUST TOOK ALL THERE WAS LEFT IN ME. AND WE ARE BACK AT THE STARTING POINT. THATS HOW ACTUALLY I FEEL. PEOPLE SHIT ON ME. AND I AM UNHAPPY. BUT AT THE SAME TIME - HOW DO I KNOW? I AM REALLY EMPTY.

[bloojayoolie]

Anaconda, Animals, and Ass: Anonymous 11/29/13(Fri)00:50 UTC+1 No.13772211 Reples: >13772244 Dude, where the hell were you?! > "Something was following me down the trail, so l fish hooked to ambush it, but it went back the way I came. I waited a little longer in case it was trying the same thing. then I took my time coming back so l could me Then he gives us all a dirty look and says, "T told you to leave my ass if I was gone more than ten minutes. It's like you people have never seen these movies before. >Jill and Sarah are freaked out over the person imitating us, and then the gunshot >Rachel just calmly swaps out the spent round in her revolver for a fresh one to >Well, now we know how she handled herself living on the streets as a homeless person Bill gathers us in the front room and insists on a rational discussion of what's happened We eventually decide it's someone pranking us and they're just really good at imitating voices. And repeat the same phrases we shouted earlier. And is in the middle of fucking nowhere screwing with some college >We all eventually go to sleep, but I noticed Bill kept his rifle within arm's reach >The next morning there was a dead something or other with its skin missing and its guts splattered all over the front of the cabin; Bill thought it was either a possum or raccoon Anonymous 11/29/13(Fri)00:58 UTC+1 No. 13772244 Reples: 13772288 are cree t now and insist on >Sarah is convinced it's some serial killer and the dead animals are a warning or some sick gift >Bill isn't entirely convinced the dead animals weren't left there by a bobcat or something, but is also convinced there's a person out in the woods fucking with us >Steve and Fred dont know WTF is going on, but they don't think it's funny >We all eventually decide we're going to find whoever is messing with us and get them back >The girls are too scared to leave the cabin Bill recruits Fred as his assistant and they spend the day building booby traps, digging pits, and rigging perimeter alarms from empty cans full of pebbles >Steve retrieves a hatchet from the wood pile and nominates himself captain of the Creepy Cabin Self-Defense Squad, since it's his uncle's place >Everyone basically ignores him and Bill becomes de facto leader since he seems like he knows what he's doing Finally, he and Fred finish whatever the hell they were doing out in the woods and we all sit around the table playing cards None of us really know how to play poker, except Jill, who wipes us out >Fred suggests strip poker, which the girls immediately veto >At this point, I don't care how creepy the motherfucker is, whoever is messing with us BETTER show up or I'm going to be pissed Anonymous 11/29/13(Fri)01:13 UTC+1 No.13772288 Repies: 13772343 Just before sunset, Bill instructs Sarah and Jill to shelter in their back room and has me and Rachel guard the door with our guns. Fred and Steve, being armed with a hatchet and khukri, are to guard the girls in the back while we defend the front door >"Tll be up in a tree waiting to ambush whoever it is, they'll be expecting us all to be holed up in the cabin >Bill ignores me and tells us not to shoot unless we know 100% for sure it isn't him are you going to be >Jill is insisting we all just go home (sensible) and keeps asking how we know Bill isn't just an idiot who's making shit up to look good >Fred insists he knows what he's doing a rattle from one >"Who the hell are you? Come out where I can see you!" but my voice >"Come out where I can see you! >Against my better judgement, I step outside the door and shine my flashlight at the trees There's someone standing in the tree line with their back toward us >They're dressed the same as Bill, but they look filthy and the its hair is longer > Turn around so I can see you!" >"I have a gun! Ill shoot if you don't turn around!" >It didnt say anything. but whoever or whatever it was started convulsing. like it was laughing hysterically, but there was no sound >You better leave us alonel This is our property! You better get out of here" lt was still standing there with its back to us, but now it was jittering like... it's hard to describe, but it's like it was under a strobe light or something >l take a step forward, keeping the flashlight and my 22 aimed at it "Do you Anonymous 11/29/13(Fri)01:23 UTC+1 No.13772343 Replies >l was debating what to do next and wondering where the hell Bill was, when I smelled that stench again >lt was so sudden and so foul, it was like being hit in the face with a brick >l gagged at the stink of a dead animal decomposing in raw sewage and mold and my eyes watered l looked back at the cabin at the others and Rachel and Steve both shouted in shock l spun around and the what ever-it-was was suddenly much closer, halfway between the tree line and cabin, with its back still toward us >l scrambled backwards toward the cabin ll never forget what ha >Fred holds the khukri over his head in a two-handed grip and, no shit, screams "BANZAI >Charges out of the cabin toward the creepy strobe light person >No wonder he gets along so well with Bill; they're BOTH crazy motherfuckers Fred runs past me, then immediately trips over a piece of stray firewood and faceplants into the dirt, dropping his bigass knife >The person is convulsing like something is crawling around under its skin and clothes, Rachel is shouting for us to get back inside the cabin and waving her revolver around, and suddenly the night is shattered by a >The creeper freezes motionless >Even louder than the gunshot lf a banshee and a cougar were slowly lowered into a wood chipper, it wouldn't sound half as loud or disturbing as whatever the hell this scream was s is an ear-splitting shriek e creepy person vanishes like they were never there on >" told you >After some shouting back and forth, Bill and Fred investigate outside while the rest of us go back in the cabin >They find some blood where the thing had been standing or at least they think it's blood, because it's pitch black >They can't find any footprints anywhere, and other than the alarm that was shaken when it first appeared, none of the booby traps were tripped Anonymous 11/29/13(Fri)01:33 UTC+1 No.13772396 Repies: 213772440 >They come back inside the cabin and the rest of us have decided fuck this, we're getting the hell out of Dodge" Bill calmly loads three rounds into his magazine to replace the ones he shot and asks if we really want to load our stuff into the van in the dark with that thing out there >We all pack our shit anyway so we can leave at first light SE The stench returns, that dead animal and burning copper smell > What the hell is that smell? Do you think it's the thing? >"Probably, but we didn't smell it earlier when it was- >Something just smacked into the wall of the cabin Dead silence as we all grasp weapons, makeshift or otherwise, and nervously listen thuds >Something began scratching at the door, like slowly dragging your nails down the length of the door, then starting again after reaching the bottom on >lt was Steve's voice this time, and he paled visibly when he heard it >"Fuck you! Who are you? What do you want?" >That's when Rachel fired a shot through the door >Despite the ringing in my ears, I could hear what sounded like the world's nastiest cat fight as something screeched, hissed, spat, and slammed into the door repeatedly >She fired a second shot and the noise stopped >After a long, uncomfortable silence, we heard the screeching again, but far off in the woods Bill opened the door and told everyone "get your shit in the van, we're l Anonymous 11/29/13(Fri)01:42 UTC+1 No. 13772440 Repies: >>13772494 >As we started throwing shit into the van, I noticed Bill had disappeared around the side of the cabin that the thumps on the wall had come from >l tossed the last of my stuff in the van, then followed >There were two splotches of blood on the side of the cabin, and underneath each was half of a full-grown deer It RIPPED A DEER IN HALF AND THREW THE HALVES AT THE CABIN at had thumped against the wall >Bill tells me not to say anything about it because it'll scare the girls >We rejoin the others as they make one last trip inside the cabin for the last of our stuff ll grabs me by the s > "Steve, go start the van. Girls, go wait in the van. We'll get everything else >The girls made no argument and got in the van with Steve, leaving Bill, Fred, and me in the cabin >That's almost everything. Fred, you go check the back and make sure we have everything. >Then Bill physically pulled me and Fred out of the cabin while we gave him a WTF look. And then I saw someone else in the back of the cabin, wearing filthy clothes like Bill's, packing things up >Oh fuck, it was in the cabin with us. >Bill quietly pulled us out of the cabin, and I pointed my rifile at it >I heard a pop like a firecracker going off and something smacked me in the leg; I looked down at my feet and saw looked up just in time to see Bill pull the pin from a second grenade, one of those big smoke grenade types, release the spoon with a pop, and throw it into the cabin. >Then he shut the door and locked the handle and the deadbolt with Steve's keys and stepped back now >Then he pointed his rnfle at the cabin and waited Steve got out of the van and joined us, asking WTF we were doing Suddenly, we heard that ungodly screeching again, this time from inside the cabin

[many-miscellaneous-musings]

Jughead x Blossom!Fem!Reader- IDFC

Inspired by the song IDFC by blackbear :) First ever attempt at a song inspired fic soooooo lets go! There are some lyrics in here, but it is not solely based upon the lyrics :p The lyrics that are included are changed a bit, just for grammar reasons

Reader was never like the rest of her family, until she feels she has to be.

Warnings: well considering it’s me, swearing. Definite swearing. Also underage drinking

Words: 3140

===========================================================

The party was in full swing, the dance floor packed and the people around you all stoned or hammered. You couldn’t complain, being in the inebriated state, dancing between all of the teens around you, trying to forget the world and the life you’d been living.

(Y/N) Blossom. The forgotten Blossom, the one nobody had remembered existed after your brother’s death. Even before then you had done all you could to keep it a secret that you were a Blossom. You hated the way your family treated the town, and while your siblings Cheryl and Jason had been better than your parents, that wasn’t saying much. You were only a year younger than them, but they had always been closer to each other than you, and always outshone you.

No one could tell you were Blossom just from looking at you, your hair was a deep (H/C) that you wore in a ponytail or in your hood. Your sense of style was muted, always having preferred the dark blues, purples, blacks and greys. If you were adventurous green would join the mix, but that was a rare occasion. You were nothing like your sister, a quiet little thing that preferred to sit in the back room of your home doing some creative outlet. Or sitting in your room, reading or singing.

Maybe that was why you and Jughead had hit it off so well as children. You didn’t tell anyone who you were, and as small children it never came up, and he was never able to tell from being around you. The two of you would spend hours at the playground coming up with the most interesting make believes, weaving tales between just the two of you. Archie and Betty would join in a lot, but there was no denying you and Jughead had clicked more than any of the children had.

He of course learned who you were in middle school, when your parents had decided that you couldn’t sit out of Cheryl’s and Jason’s birthday party this year. You had hated the loud, over the top parties of the past and hadn’t invited your best friend before, knowing you would sneak off with one of the nannies to see him in the park instead. that year had been different, your parents sick of the vanishing act you pulled every year, and had said you could invite whomever you pleased, so long as you stayed at the party. Of course you had plucked up the courage and invited the small group of friends, worried they would think of you differently but he had just shrugged and agreed to come. It changed nothing, and you two still managed to sneak off halfway through the party anyway. The two best friends going to the park that they so desperately loved, and just playing by themselves, weaving new tales of princes and princesses, fairies and wizards and dark forces. Like most kids do.

You were different from your family. You were happy to be, content in life. Until your brother had been murdered.

When Jason was found dead Jughead became different. He had been growing distant from you for months now, and he had told you his mother had taken Jellybean and left, but that was all you could get out of him. He refused to talk about his home life after that, and you had tried to respect his privacy. These were the months when you realized just how hard you had fallen for him, as soon as he was fading from your life, you realized just how much you needed him. Being best friends and nearly inseparable for so long, you had never realized that you wanted to be more. Until you couldn’t be.

When Cheryl had shown up soaking wet and crying, things in Riverdale were never the same. Suddenly there was more eyes than normal on both the Blossom sisters, and your parents began to buckle down on the two of you to be perfect. The spitting image of how they wanted, and they tried to make you the replacement to Jason. You had to be just like your sister, dress like her, act like her and you hated every second of it. Your only solace was the dark haired boy you had grown to love. You had stopped talking to Betty and Archie after the road trip fiasco, not wanting to hurt Jug more than he was already hurting. What you hadn’t known, was that this would be the downfall.

The problem was, he was fading faster than ever. He had tried to be there for you when Jason went missing, but the book began to slowly consume his life. He had something to throw himself into, a project to distract him from his every day struggles in life. He began to keep secrets from you, and became distant. At first he had been good about not bringing up the book in front of you, and you had given him your blessing to write it. But soon it became the only thing on his mind, and he became less wary about your feelings about bringing it up with you, constantly trying to slyly ask about Jason or what had happened. You stopped hanging out with him, and while he noticed the absence, he never went to find you, assuming that you were simply grieving.

When the body turned up was the hardest part, you had always hoped that Jason would come home one day, but not like this.

It was when you and Cheryl grew closer, with the absence of her twin, you were all she had to lean on in the household. And she was all you had left, all of your friends were gone, and your parents didn’t care about either of you beyond making appearances. You and her became slowly more alike, your need for someone to be there for you made you do anything Cheryl asked, until you became her mini me. You started seeing the Jocks, making snide and rude remarks, you became a cheerleader and became popular. Desperate for friends and to feel accepted and for approval. With everything baring down on you at home to become the replacement twin, you simply snapped and did what was asked of you. You hated it, every second of the new you you hated, but you couldn’t bring yourself not to do it. You especially hated when your sister and her friends would target those you used to call your friends, and you had to join in or face the consequences. You hated every single thing you said, but you felt like you had to.

Jughead had noticed your absence of course, and had caught sight of you around town. His brow would furrow when he saw the new clothing you wore, the copious amounts of makeup on your face, the way you would hang around with the vixens and the jocks. In school he had tried to approach you, but you had shut him down and out, continuing your talk with Reggie who had shoved him away, venomous words dropping from both of your lips as he slowly slipped away and out of sight. This was not the (Y/N) he knew, and he didn’t know what to do, so he simply stopped trying.

You had noticed his attempts to talk to him, and it shattered you every time you pushed him away, feeling now as though you had to to stay on your sisters good side. You desperately missed Jughead, but you knew it was pointless to try. He wouldn’t like you anymore anyways, and there was no way in hell he would ever like you the way you wished he would. You had to get over him, or so you’d thought.

And now flash forward a few months and here we are at the beginning of this tale. The music pounded through your veins, your body moving to the music better than it ever had now that you were drunk and didn’t care. Your self consciousness melted around you and you danced, the party setting being your favourite thing these days. You could get drunk, forget your problems and have a good time. At least, until tonight. The party was crashing, you were too drunk, you needed to get home and when you looked around for her, Cheryl was nowhere in sight. After only half an hour of searching for your sister, you pulled out your phone and texted her you’d be walking home. thoughts of the killer nowhere in your intoxicated brain.

You stumbled out the door, holding your sweater around you as you walked slowly through the town, thoughts and memories filling your head as your feet made your way around, and you suddenly stopped, frowning as you looked away from the sky you’d been watching to see that you were farther from home than before. You were standing in the park, the park you had come to so often as a child. Your face broke into a sad smile at the memories as they filled your head before you sat down on the old and rusted swing set. The place didnt look like it had been taken care of in years, and the thought made you sad, but at that moment it didn’t matter. The memories of you and your friends in this park flashed behind your now closed eyelids, as you slowly sobered up just a tad.

“(Y/N)? What are you doin-” you jumped at the voice, cutting him off as you sprung from the swing and oh so (not at all) gracefully fell on your face.

“Are you drunk?” the voice said again and you looked up from between where your hair had fallen over your eyes and you saw Jughead standing there, hands in his pockets and the familiar scowl missing from his face.

You shook your head defiantly, trying and failing to get up off the ground. “No, not at all Juggie,” you said,frowning as he grabbed a hold of your hand to help you. You blushed at the contact, something he blamed on your drunken state. you felt your chest constrict, and

“You’ve been out all night, I don't know where you’ve been,” he said, frowning as he helped you start walking home.

“What makes you say that?” you asked, a frown on your face as you continued to deny it.

“You're slurring all your words, not making any sense (Y/N),” he laughed and you rolled your eyes.

“Come on, lets get you home,” he said and helped you make your way to the road where he loaded you into Mr. Andrews car.

“What were you doing out here Juggie?” you asked as you settled into the seat, looking out the window.

“Fred let me borrow the car to drive up here and write,” he said, shrugging and you nodded, looking out the window.

“I’ve missed you (Y/N),” his voice broke the silence around you and you frowned.

“Me too Juggie,” you said softly and he frowned deeper, his heart panging as he heard the familiar nickname fall from your lips.

“I know I was an asshole, I should have been there for you more than I was,” he said and you let out a loud laugh.

“Jughead Jones, actually apologizing to little old me,” you giggled, “I must be special then” you said and he smirked a bit.

“You are (Y/N),” he said softly and you frowned, the reality of the conversation hitting you like a freight train.

“You’re not going to remember a moment of this in the morning are you?” he asked as he parked the car on the street in front of your house and you frowned again, shaking your head.

“Prooooobably not,” you said, “though I wish I would. I missed my bestest friend,” you said softly and giggled again as you saw a small smile tilt the corners of his mouth.

“You know, I have feelings for you, I act like I don't fucking care, Cause I'm so fucking scared,” you said, face pointed towards your knees as you spoke the words, unable to bring yourself to look at him as you spoke, but unable to see a downside to getting it off your chest.

“What?” was his only response and you laughed, “I'm only a fool for you And maybe you're too good for me Juggie. I dropped you so fast, and then I had no one left. I dropped the boy I think I love, and Ive never regretted anything more,” you whispered while the stunned boy sat in silence. After a moment of deafening quiet you realized he wouldn’t answer at all. you nodded at the rejection, stomping down the way your heart broke a bit more, knowing you shouldn’t be surprised he didn’t feel the same, and you turned and got out of the car, stumbling into the house and up to your bedroom, falling face first into bed.

Jughead just watched you go, unable to think, speak or function at all until his phone buzzed in his pocket, a text from Archie calling him back to his place of residence. Your words circling in his brain as his heart thumped.

You liked him back. you had told him so, and he had done nothing about it. He tried to tell himself it didn’t matter, that you wouldn’t remember anyway

The next morning you woke with a groan, hearing Cheryl pounding on your bedroom door.

“What?” you asked through a groan, shielding your eyes from the sun as your sister made her way into the room.

“Sorry I couldn’t bring you home last night sis, I’m just glad you got home safely,” she said as she sat down on the bed next to you, passing you a couple of painkillers and a glass of water to help with the hangover. You accepted both items and quickly downed them before sighing.

“Did you come home alone? Or did someone bring you? I do feel really bad for abandoning you, but I passed out on Reggie’s bed, and no, nothing happened. Him and I just talked,” she said, a playful eye roll gracing her features.

As she spoke flashbacks of the night came back, and your stomach dropped, remembering everything you had thought you would forget. Tears began to slide down your cheeks as you realized what had happened. You closed your eyes and Cheryl’s gaze immediately sharpened.

(Y/N)? Whats going on honey? Why are you crying?” she asked, pulling you into a hug as you told her everything, finally confiding in your sister what feelings you had been holding for so long. She held you and smoothed your hair, trying to calm you as you spoke. When you were finally done crying she simply held you.

“I’m going to kill him,” was her words in the silence and you shook your head.

“Don’t, he cant control his feelings just like I cant control mine. It almost seems like it would have been easier if he’d told me pretty lies, just look me in the face and Tell me that he loves me, even if it's fake, 'Cause I don't fucking care at all, not anymore Cherry,” you said softly, using the nickname you’d given her in these times you’d gotten closer to her, “It feels like him lying to me would have been easier. I shouldn’t even remember this shit,” you said softly before stopping and looking at your sister, whose face was only full of sympathy. “But you mean you aren’t mad? You wouldn’t have been mad?” you asked softly and she threw her hands up in exasperation.

“I don’t care who you’re dating honey, as much as I don’t like fre-” she said, biting her tongue and stopping herself from using one of the many nicknames that had been thrown Jughead’s way.

“I don’t care, and I’m sorry I made you feel like I do. I know you weren’t as close to Jason and I when we were kids but I want you to know he always did like Jones. He knew how much that kid made you happy, and so did I. We never tried to stop you hanging out with him because you were happy with him. Jason would have wanted you to make yourself happy, and so do I. I wouldn’t have tried to stop you,” she said softly.

“Really?” You asked her softly and she nodded.

“I’m still going to kill Jones,” she hissed, anger in her voice, “Even if it isnt for him not feeling the same way, but for saying nothing at all,” she hissed and you rolled your eyes.

“I pounced my feelings on him, while I was drunk off my ass and he doesn’t even think I remember. I told him I’d forget,” you said softly and she nodded her head.

“I know sis, but I think you know what you need to do,“ she said softly, “And I mean all of it. Stop trying to be like me because you think I’m going to drop you. You’re my sister (Y/N) and I’m not going to abandon you again,” she said softly and you nodded, smiling as you tried to think of how to get past the boy in the back of your head.

“Does this mean you and I are going shopping? And you don’t get to tell me what to wear?” You said, joking a bit and she laughed, nodding her head. Things seemed like they’d be ok.

When you went back to school on Monday it was in a familiar pair of dark jeans, sneakers and your old oversized hoodie. Only the old, basic amount of makeup you had worn before Jason’s death graced your face, and your sketchpad was held against your chest. It was like the old (Y/N) was back, and much to everyone’s surprise, she was.

The days went on as normal, you stayed on the River Vixens so you could begin to talk to and get to know Betty again. Her and Veronica accepted the new you with open arms, much to Cheryl’s joy. your sister didnt meddle as you regained your way into the friend group and left hers. She was simply happy that her baby sister, was regaining the sparkle that had been missing from her eyes. That she was beginning to regain her joy of painting and photography, began to write down the stories that went with the paintings. She was proud of her sister, in ways that only a sister could be. The friendship with the Sad Breakfast Club was easy, they all forgave you for the words you had spoken in your grieving state, and had agreed not to talk about the things you had said without meaning.

Jughead watched you slowly begin hanging out with his friends again, and actively avoided you. He thought you couldn’t remember the confession, and that made it easier, but he still felt uneasy about it. Knowing you liked him back made it harder to hold back his feelings. Only two things had held him back in the past, and those were gone now. You were no longer a clone of your sister, and he knew you liked him. It was easier to ignore you than to face his feelings head on. He just, couldn’t do it. He was terrified to.

You on the other hand, had decided to come clean to him. you knew it would be hard to but you knew he deserved the truth. You assumed it was because of that night that he had been avoiding you, and you assumed that if you told him you didn’t care, maybe you would get your best friend back. Maybe you could fix things with him.

You approached him in Pop’s, sliding in the booth across from him, unable to not notice the way he tensed up as you did.

“Jug?” you asked softly, but he just continued to type, staring intently at the screen. “I remember what I told you,” you said softly and at this his fingers stilled their frantic typing and you took another breath. “I don’t care that you don’t feel anything back, I don’t care if we cant be together, just please, I miss my best friend. I don’t want you avoiding me all the time anymore, I miss you, I’ve missed you this entire time. I said so many things when I was with them, but it was because I was hurting and desperate. It doesn’t excuse the things I have done, how much of a bitch I was, but I miss you. I don’t fucking care, just please let me back in,” you said softly and his eyes snapped up to yours, tears now sliding down your face slowly. He sighed and closed the laptop, looking you in the eye as you spoke.

“I like you too,” he said softly and you blinked.

“What?” you asked and he shook his head.

He just rolled his eyes and leaned across the table, pressing his lips to yours gently. Your lips molded perfectly together, moving in sync as you silently were stunned. When he pulled away, a small smile was on his lips.

“I like you too (Y/N). I’ve liked you for a long time, and I should have shown you a long time before I lost you. I knew you were hurting and I pushed at it, I pushed you away, I became so absorbed in my writing and I just, stopped caring about the real world. My writing gave me an escape from the things going on at home, and if I’m honest, got my mind off of you. I was terrified of what I was feeling at the time, and I didn’t know what to do, so I buried it. I couldn’t face your rejection, and I just couldn’t handle the thought of losing you,” he said, a dry laugh escaping him, “What I didn’t realize was that in doing that I was losing you even faster. I missed you,” he said softly, rambling a bit and getting everything off of his chest, “and I understood the remarks. I know you were just trying to do what you needed to do. I don’t give a fuck about what you said about the others and I, it was because of your sister and because you were grieving and alone. I know, and I understand why you pushed us all away. It was my fault you were alone. I got so wrapped up in my book and I was an asshole to you, and I made you lose Archie and because of that Betty and then I treated you like shit when I shouldn’t have been, when you were the one grieving and I should have been there for you. I guess I really fucked up huh?” he asked, a blush across his face as he scratched the back of his neck.

A small smile ghosted over your face and you nodded, “I forgive you too Jug, can we please, please just go back to how things were?” you asked softly and he shook his head, taking your hand.

“I kind of would like to see one change?” he said and you nodded.

“So would I,” you said, a sheepish smile appearing across your face, a wide grin on his.

“Just keep your crazy sister away from me,” he joked and you smacked him on the arm, laughing.

“She’s not so bad once you get to know her. And let her give you a makeover at least once,” you said and he shuddered at the thought, rolling his eyes but a small smile upon his face.

==========================================================

I would love to know what people think! Feedback is welcomed and appreciated! Hope you guys enjoyed