Everyday I wake up and thank God you make harbinger content because they're such a banger and it feeds me all the needs I require to survive another day of suffering in school and existence 🙏🙏
Ly smooch /p good luck with everything, take care of yourself or ELSE 😡😡 I'll have to forcibly wrap you in a blanket and threaten you until you're all snug and comfy and safe+relaxed 😌💕
KAI PLEASE I'M BLUSHING AT ALL THIS PRAISE 😭 teehee i'm so glad they're helping you get through school and life though, you got this friend!!!
I should be thanking YOU for all of your content too, I love your writing so much omfg (especially your Dottore works ofc... BANGERS EVERY TIME. doesn't matter if it's angst or fluff or anything. i will eat it up) 🫶🙏 🙏 HAHAH I PROMISE I'M TAKING CARE OF MYSELF 🥰🥰 But please wrap me up in a blanket anyway... i'd like that 🥹
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cw: just self-indulgent, self-soothing, self-shipping fluff
“I don’t think this is gonna work.”
You stare at the laptop sitting on your kitchen counter, your chin resting firmly in your hand, cheek squished against your folded fingers.
Toshinori glances up from his novel, his eyebrows knitted together in concern. “What do you mean, sweetheart?”
You gesture widely at your treacherous laptop with outstretched arms. “This! This job! I don’t think it’s gonna work.”
He slides a thumb between the pages of his book to hold his place, and tilts his head at you. “Why not?”
“I dunno,” you grumble, shrugging your shoulders, “I’m just not getting it. I don’t understand any of this yet. There’s so many acronyms, and all these systems to use, and half the stuff I need I don’t even access to!”
“Honey, that’ll all come with time.”
“What if they made the wrong choice?” you ask, a weighty panic starting to settle on your chest.
“Well, I don’t think they did,” he said, glancing back to his book. “They loved you in your interview, and you said you seemed to really impress your new boss when you went in the other day to meet him.”
“Well yeah, I look good on paper.” You scroll through the 47-page document, and squint as the words start to blend into black and white blobs on the screen. The panic sets its full weight on you, starts to crush you. “And I know how to talk to people when I have to.”
“You are very charming, sweetie pie.” Toshi smiles his biggest, most toothy hero smile at you. “But I’m probably biased.”
You roll your eyes at him and give him as much of a smirk as you can muster before going back to the never-ending folder of documents to read. Every one of them seems to be laughing at you, taunting you with rows and rows of business-speak that run laps in your brain, not one of them seeming to stop long enough for you to catch up to them. You feel like an oversoaked sponge that can't accommodate even so much as a droplet more.
Toshi sets his book down and folds his hands in his lap, watching you shift uncomfortably in place. “Love, do you really think they would have hired you if they felt that way?”
“I mean, I kind of may have overstated my skillset.”
“You didn’t lie to them.”
“No, not really.” You fiddle with the brightness settings on the screen, as suddenly the bright white pages feel like the sun. “But I think they were under the impression the work I used to do was a little closer to how it’s done here and it’s not.”
“But they didn’t care.” He says it carefully, drawing out every word, trying to convince you of what you already know.
You let out a groan and close the laptop screen, hoping if you didn't have to look at it anymore, all the anxiety would disappear too. “Toshi, I don’t understand half of this. I’ve been here over a week and they haven’t even trained me on what I’m actually going to be doing!”
He stands up and slowly crosses the room towards you. “What are you afraid of, honey?”
“I’m afraid I won’t be the person they thought I was.” You glance down at the floor, chewing your lip.
“And?” He tilts his head.
“And I’m afraid I won’t be able to pick things up quick enough.”
“So?” He reaches out and places his wide hand on your upper arm, squeezing you. “You said your manager was only going to assign you a few things, though, right? So even he knows it’s going to take some time to get used to a new job.”
“Toshi, I’m—I’m afraid I’m gonna fail!” The words come out in a warble as a loud sob breaks through your barrier and thunders into the room. It’s all over for you now—your utter terror has escaped containment, and hot tears start to roll easily down your cheeks. “I’m just afraid I’ll fail, okay? I’m afraid I’ll fail and I’ll be unemployed or stuck crawling back to my old job, and I won’t even be able to get my old position back.”
“Oh, honey.” He wraps his strong arms around you, pulls you into him. “You won’t fail.”
“And what if I do, Toshi?” you weep into his chest, fat tears soaking into his sweater. “What if I do? What if I suck at this, and I get fired, and I have to start all over again?”
“Then I’ll be here to pick up the pieces, and we’ll figure it out together.” He holds your chin between his thumb and forefinger, tilting your puffy, tear-stained face up towards him. He kisses you between the eyebrows, lingering a moment and sighing. “That’s what I’m here for.”
You look up at him through dewy lashes. “Promise?”
“I promise, cupcake, we’ll always make it work somehow, as long as you let me in.” He strokes the back of your neck with his large hand and rests his chin on the top of your head. “You know, I can be your hero once in a while, if you’d let me. You’ve saved me enough times, least I could do is return the favor.”
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