#like maybe i could wrap myself in a blanket and take my tablet and work on the posters in peace or draw ocs or work on my-

[tendebill]

update: i am becoming more and more sick as we speak

[blu-joons]

He Worries About You Overworking ~ Song Mingi

Mingi felt his heart break as he watched you stumble down the stairs, smiling weakly in his direction as you made your way to the sofa. He quickly stood up, grabbing a blanket, and moving some of the cushions to make a bit of space for you.

Your voice was barely audible as you thanked him for making the space for you, laying yourself across the full length of the sofa, letting go of a sigh of relief.

“You were asleep for hours,” he sighed, taking a seat on the floor beside the top of your head, “I’m beginning to worry Y/N, this is really doesn’t feel like something goof to be happening.”

You’d been working hard recently as work got busy with deadlines for you to reach, no matter how much they took out of you, it was too important for you to give up on. All of the time you spent on work had a severe knock-on effect on your life at home too, you barely had any time for Mingi, and when you did, you usually spent it fast asleep on the sofa or tucked up in bed.

“I didn’t think I was asleep for long, but I didn’t really get much sleep last night,” you informed him, tucking your hand underneath the cushion.

“You’ve not slept in weeks, I thought you were fine, but I’m beginning to worry Y/N.”

You knew Mingi worried about you, your health hadn’t always been in the best condition since you met him, which was something he often struggled with. He tried hard to trust in you and leave you to understand your own body but at times like this, he couldn’t sit back and watch.

“Maybe we need to have a chat with work about what’s going on,” he suggested, but you quickly shook your head. “You’re overworking yourself to a point where you have no life aside from work anymore Y/N.”

Your eyes closed at the sound of his voice bellowing beside you. “It won’t be forever, in a few weeks then all of this will be done, and they’ll be no reason to worry.”

“And what if it’s a few weeks too late?” He challenged, refusing to let the topic drop. “Your body is exhausted, it’s not in the best condition anyway. At what point do you decide that enough is enough and you need to put the focus back on yourself?”

You pressed the cushion tighter against your head, trying to push aside the pain that you were beginning to feel in your head, made worse by the sound of Mingi right by your side.

As much as you knew he cared, you knew at what point you needed to stop. A couple of weeks of exhaustion and stress were something you could deal with if it meant you didn’t face the pressure and anger from everyone at work towards you.

“It’s breaking my heart seeing you struggle Y/N, and don’t even try and convince me that you’re fine. I’ve known you for long enough now to know when you’re far from fine.”

“What can I do?” You asked him, opening your eyes back up. “I’m stuck in the middle of making myself ill and potentially getting the sack from work, how can I choose between the two?”

His head shook gently, “you choose your health every time, no matter what. If work give you the sack, I’ll look after you, but I’d rather look after you here than in hospital at your bedside.”

His words were tough, but they came from a place of love. You were unaware of a tear rolling down your cheek as Mingi reached across to wipe under your eye, quickly removing it.

“I’m not prepared to sit back and watch you waste away once again.”

The first time he watched you fall apart was easily the toughest time of his life, there was no way that Mingi could stand back and watch it happen again, it was hard on you, but it was hard on him too.

“I appreciate how important work is to you Y/N, but how can you work if you can’t even stand on your own two feet for a few minutes before collapsing onto a chair again?”

“I’d make it work, like I always have to.”

“You don’t have to,” he quickly clarified, “there’s always a choice, and I’m begging with you to make the right one before it’s too late. You just have to trust me on this.”

Your head and your heart pulled you in two different directions. You weren’t blind to the fact you were beginning to fall apart, but you were also very aware just how important everything at work was for you to do too.

“I won’t let this drop Y/N,” he added as you fell silent, “I’ll do whatever it takes to make sure that you’re alright, I can’t let this happen to you again.”

“What if it already is happening? What if it’s too late?”

He sighed softly, moving closer towards you. “It’s not too late,” he spoke in a much softer tone, “there’s always a chance to turn things around, you can’t possibly think like that.”

“That’s the thing, I’m not thinking,” you groaned, pressing your exposed hand to the top of your head, “I’ve not been able to think for weeks, work fills up my mind.”

“Then let me help you change that, it’s what you have to do.”

Your eyes met his, noticing the sincerity from the very start. “What am I supposed to do Mingi? Maybe I do feel like I’m overworking and falling apart, but where do I go from here?”

As you finally began to admit that you were struggling, his whole body relaxed. One of his arms wrapped over your waist, whilst the other pressed over yours on the top of your head, recognising straight away why it was there.

“Let me handle things, and you just focus on yourself. I’ve always told you that I’ll care for you no matter what, and that’s not going to change now.”

“Thank you,” you whispered, squeezing gently against his hand. “I don’t what I’d do sometimes if I didn’t have you here with me.”

You’d spent a long time fighting all by yourself, which often left you stubborn to help. Mingi knew that if he worked hard enough, he could break you down, it was just about finding that weak spot that would make you recognise how much help you needed.

“How about I start with getting you some pain relief for that headache and then we can think of something?” He suggested, standing up from the floor to had into the kitchen.

“What are we going to do?” You asked as he came back a few moments later with a glass of water and a packet of tablets in hand.

His shoulders shrugged innocently, “I don’t know where we go right now, but if we sit down and take a moment to relax, we’ll come up with something.”

“What do I do about work? What if they get rid of me?”

“I’ve already told you; I’ll look after you. Whatever happens, your health comes first, and then we can think about the future after that.”

“You really want to be the one that looks after me?”

“Of course. That’s all that I ever will do.”

---

Masterlist

[boop-le-snoot]

PARTY FAVOURS | CHAPTER 1

Rating: Explicit. 18+

‼️TW: Reader is EIGHTEEN! Recreational drug use, smoking and alcohol consumption, deeply internalised self-loathing, very questionable moral standards. Daddy kink taken half-seriously. BDSM themes in later chapters - explicit content will come with it's own TWs. FIRST PERSON POV.

Summary: You're Peter's classmate, a child of rich and famous but uncaring parents. Getting paired up for a lengthy project with the boy was an interesting turn of events and you don't know whether to feel blessed or cursed when you develop, seemingly, a perfectly normal, harmless crush on Tony Stark. Fueled by feelings of inadequacy and boredom, your life spirals out of control - and you're lucky your newfound friends are there to pick up the pieces even if you cannot find it in yourself to believe these amazing human (and not so human) beings voluntarily give you more than a fleeting glance and an offhanded thought. And they brought cake!

A/N: Bad girls are sad girls! Always wondered what goes through the mind of a spoiled, rich but intelligent and perceptive teenager? Have you found yourself craving that adrenaline rush, the danger of a forbidden fruit? Okay. That was cheesy as hell. Gross.

Let's try again. Sarcasm? Check. Vine references? Hell yes! Crude humour? Check. Blunt honesty? Double check. We're living in a Lana del Rey song, ladies.

The author doesn't actually condone codependent relationships in real life. This is a filthy little fantasy. Enjoy, deviants.

THE TAG LIST IS NOW OPEN! @another-stark-sub​ @mostly-marvel-musings​

Beta read by the lovely and patient @miscmarvelwritings ! She deserves all the love 💙

Pining. I was pining after Stark and it made me upset. I thought I was better than that. Better than acting the part of a lovesick puppy, begging for scraps of attention- a kind word, a pat on the shoulder, a blanket thrown over me in my sleep. Even if he was my Mount Olympus, I wasn't exactly on board with starting the whole damn journey in the first place.

Most of all, I hated being a cliché. I tried my best to avoid showing how I felt and with time, I think I excelled at it. I am really good with things if I really put my mind to it. Was it a blessing, or was it a curse? Only the future will tell. I try not to think about it, as I prefer not to stress out too much. Peter was the anxious kid and I was the calm one. I was the Ying to his Yang. He flipped his shit often and I always calmed him down and cleaned up after him. No complaints there, Pete is pure and precious and I would kill everybody and then myself if he actually got hurt.

I'm only a year older than him and that year feels like an uncrossable bridge to me. We get along like a house on fire and I delight in the way he starts smiling when we're paired together for a project. Deep inside I'm sure he thinks of me as one of his best friends, his homies but-and there's always a but-I can't reciprocitate that. He goes to decathlon after school with his wholesome BFF duo, I go to a local dive bar with a fake ID I'd made sometime when I was about 15.

Peter has everything I wish I've ever had. Good for him. I'm not going to mess that up, no matter how much my angst demands I throw a tantrum and become, like, a supervillain or something.

I banter, instead. I chit-chat. I laugh and I repeatedly make a joke out of myself. Nobody suspects a thing, and I'm not surprised. People always see what they want to see. I've been the weird loner since middle school. Not the sad kind, of course, my pride wouldn't let me. I'm too good at things to be completely ignored. Teachers adore me, the event planning committee approaches me every year with tentative pleas for advice. The list goes on and on; what they don't understand is that it's just High School. Another year and I'll be out of there and nobody will be wiser.

I feel like a liar every time I'm excited. Because I'm not that - I don't care about their stupid field trips or collaborative projects. My mind is five steps and two hops ahead of that bullshit. It has to be or I just won't make it in the world.

"Parker-pen, Mr. Stark. G'day, sirs," I nodded, entering the lab, looking straight ahead. They both were hunched over... Something vaguely mechanical and I was terribly, horribly hungover. Saturday night was Science night but I'd gone to bed around 2PM after a party ran way too late.

"Hi," and "Powerpuff girl," came from them respectively, and they didn't even lift their heads.

I wondered if I could just skedaddle and leave them to their big brain time. "Is this a bad time? I can come tomorrow instead," I immediately regretted speaking, even to my own ears my voice sounds scratchy.

"No, actually, Dr. Ban-Bruce-wanted to talk to you," Peter mumbled out half-coherently. Tony kept ignoring me and I was fine with that. The less temptation I have the less trouble there will be.

"I'm not playing with his zucchini again," I groaned, causing the intricate pile of metal to squeak sadly as Pete tripped over his own damn body, jostling the prototype in the process. I could have sworn the room got several degrees hotter from the boy's blush alone.

Tony cackled, shuffling away from the newly ruined prototype. "He won the damn contest, you should've seen the judges faces," The engineer's grin threatened to split his face in half. I poked at my phone in muted interest. "Hold up, Friday has a recording. I definitely recorded the thing."

A holo-screen popped up. Tranquil scenes of a local fair, gourds and other assorted vegetables of various grotesque sizes were scattered throughout the square. An unmistakable mop of curly greying hair posed proudly next to a zucchini half the size of Hulk - I was fairly certain genetically engineering the plant was cheating and warned him so but somehow Banner managed to persuade the judges into letting him participate, and ultimately win, the competition for the Biggest Zucchini. Some of them were quite shocked at the size of that thing and well - well, their glances were quite contemplative to say the least.

"Damn, Tony, that blonde chick's face tells me all I need to know," I gave a lopsided smirk in the engineer's general direction. That was our thing, you see? He called me these ridiculous cutesy nicknames and asked me about getting my nails done or going to the mall and I'd make salacious comments and go on an occasional flirtatious spree. That was comfortable. We both enjoyed making Peter blush and giggle like the little schoolboy that he was.

"Our Brucie bear is a freak, don't let him tell you any different, Princess," Tony winked at me.

"Oh, I know all about it, Tones," I suggestively wiggled my eyebrows. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Peter groan and palm his face. I briefly bumped my knuckles to Tony's outstretched hand and made my way to the adjacent lab that hosted the second resident crazy scientist.

"Bruce?"

"Oh, hi there, come on in," He smiled warmly at me and I relaxed, shrugging off the tension in my limbs that seemed to appear every time Tony was around me. Banner's soft, friendly nature always made me feel welcomed and appreciated.

We made small talk as I threw on a lab coat and some protective glasses and discarded my bag in the far corner, away from any possible explosions. I congratulated him on his recent victory - here is when I say that despite what most will say, Banner has a serious competitive mean streak and isn't afraid to get down and dirty when it comes to matters of his personal pride.

That's what makes us alike, I think. I have too much dignity and self-respect to walk around Tony with stars in my eyes and hang around his neck like yesterday's tie.

The quiet, even pace of doing lab work made me completely lose track of time. Some time passed as I felt the crick in my neck become noticeable, and the deep ache in my calves from standing and dancing yesterday worsened. I hopped onto the nearest table, hunched over a tablet, eyes skimming over research articles - most of it didn't register at all in the wake of a dull throb behind my temples. My hair limply hung over my face - I had to wash it to get rid of the stench-hard liquor and cigarettes - but I was way too lazy to style it properly.

I ignored the swaying strands until a large palm gently tucked them behind my ear, a white lab coat coming into my field of view. "You okay?" Banner's quiet voice interrupted my reading. I lifted eyes enough to see he was wearing a dorky button-up in some gross shade of blue under the lab coat. His eyes were affectionate behind thinly rimmed glasses.

"Rough Friday night?" He questioned.

I chuckled. "Yeah, I'm hungover as fuck." There was no point in hiding the obvious; I'm sure the bags under my eyes already had tattled on me.

He chuckled, too, leaning his hip against the table, one broad arm coming to wrap around me in a hug. Usually he wasn't so touchy-feely; but I wasn't complaining. Banner was really, really warm. "I'll spare you the lecture on underage drinking," He said with another chuckle.

"Yeah, it's pretty pointless. You'd be three years too late."

A deep sigh left him, both of his arms wrapping around me in a comfortable embrace. I rested my chin on his shoulder, trying my best to really avoid showing how touch-starved I was. I was a hundred percent sure they all figured out my family life was difficult; the last thing I needed was their pity.

"Y'know, we should sit down and talk someday," He said after a brief moment of hesitation. "About your future. College, maybe?"

I gave a non-committal hum, basking in the warmth of the hug, staring straight ahead with unseeing eyes - behind the glass divide, I could faintly distinguish Tony's and Peter's shapes, still bent over that bench the pile of metal.

"You have a lot of potential," Banner continued, his tone developing a gently admonishing hint. "I understand if you want to take some time off from your studies but I'd rather you succeed and not let all that potential go to waste," He finished, patting me on the back with a gentle hand.

I tried not to preen under his touch. "Are you attempting to guilt-trip me over a party, doctor Banner?" I teased him, expecting the smile that I felt being hidden by my hair. Sometimes I felt that I could read the man like an open book, he was so earnest about his interactions.

"I just - we want you to stay safe, okay? Don't blow your future for a little bit of fun," He shrugged carefully.

"Okay, Bruce," I simply replied, meaning it this time

He kept hugging me, running his hand over my back absentmindedly. Probably thinking about his recent science bender. I wasn't upset: my own brain tended to get tangled in personal projects, too. I had only one complaint and it was that the cuddle was making me sleepy.

I yawned, startling the man. Pulling away from the hug wasn't really an option. He was broad and quite strong, probably courtesy of the Hulk and radiation in his blood.

"Why don't we put you in a guest room for tonight?" He inquired and I nodded. "Call your parents for me, okay?"

"My mother is in Vancouver for the week and I doubt she would care anyway," I rolled my eyes. "She's in the middle of some shitstorm with OsCorp and their marketing department." If anything, I was grateful my mother was preoccupied with her job. Being around her was like hanging out on top of an iceberg in the far end of the ocean.

I felt Bruce's frown. His body tensed briefly, blink and you'll miss the hunch of his shoulders. "What about your dad?"

I cringed. "He's been in Ibiza since the season opened, no doubt snorting miles of coke and... " I hesitated. "You can guess the rest."

My dad was kind of a dick, but I don't blame him at all for being the way he is. My parents have been married for twenty years. They were happy, once - I saw their college pictures with my mother's bright smiles and bushy hair, and my dad's terrible fashion sense and their dog, a funny little runt with an atrocious name. Then mother had me and for a while, they were happy too, but it lasted about until she landed her first prospective job. Kind of cliché.

Bruce sighed again. "Okay. You hungry?"

"No, I'm not going near food until tomorrow. Nu-uh," I fake-retched next to his ear, making Bruce shiver and playfully pinch my side.

"It'll help with your hangover. Doctor's advice."

"You're not even that kind of doctor," I laughed, very gently poking him back, somewhere around his stomach. He squirmed.

"I have seven PhDs," Bruce smiled as he rested his chin on top of my head as he adjusted his torso to prevent my fingers from reaching his ticklish spots. I poked him again in retaliation, fully enjoying the snort and squirm I caused. Soft™. "Let's go get you settled in," Bruce, seemingly without any difficulty, picked me up, propping me against his hip like a toddler. It probably looked awkward but what the hell, I haven't been carried around since I can remember myself. My legs wrapped around his hips for balance, butt resting on his forearm.

"You're a showoff," I couldn't help but snort, getting a lopsided smirk in return.

He made his way over to the elevator with me dangling and examining my nails in an expectant fashion. Tony's jokes aside, I really enjoyed getting them done and weird colors were a quest of entertainment for me. I obviously couldn't have them very long because I worked in a lab so I chose outrageous prints and decorations instead. This week, each of my nails had a different style - thankfully my aesthetician was professional enough to make it look somewhat put together even if it took a good chunk of my allowance and an hour long Uber ride to get to her salon.

I noticed the dimmed lights in Tony's lab and none of Peter's usual mess scattered on the tables, figuring he'd already left. Stark himself stood propped against a table, watching something, smoothie in hand.

For only a brief moment, I let my eyes rake over his body, his beautiful, sculpted physique hugged by a pair of fitted jeans and an old Led Zeppelin tee. Tony's handsomeness wasn't obvious, it wasn't in-your-face kind of appearance like Captain America's, but the engineer was built sturdy and his arms - the only bare part of him - were riddled with scars. He used his strong, bulky body for work.

I turned away before I got too ahead of myself. Bruce smelled like lab equipment and rubbing alcohol, something that made me sober up and snap out of my daydream before Stark took notice and started teasing me about ogling him. My once-over lasted barely three seconds yet with Tony's genius, I always had to be on my toes.

I saw movement in my peripheral. Banner waved before entering the elevator - at Tony, probably, so I looked back, seeing the man watching us, content replaced with a contemplating frown. I waved at him, resting my cheek on Bruce's shoulder. "Tony's having a big mood," I noted quietly in the scientist's ear.

"You know Tony," Bruce sighed, adjusting his hold on me as the car ascended to the housing floors. "His brain runs a mile a minute and he can't make sense of it for the biggest part. Give him some time and he'll be back to his annoying self."

I didn't see Tony as annoying in any way, but then again, I was severely biased. The billionaire was quirky venturing into absurd but also clever and brilliant.

We had reached our destination and Bruce carefully set me down on my feet once the door to my room was open. A large queen bed, TV and another door to an adjacent bathroom. It was really simple but luxurious nonetheless - I had the exact same carpet at home, having heard my mother bitch about it's cost after seeing me spill soda on it way too many times.

"I'll let you get settled in. Ask Friday if you need something," Bruce awkwardly shuffled his feet, taking off his glasses and briefly examining them before putting them back on again. "Breakfast here is on the 74th floor starting around 7AM, someone will probably get you around nine if you sleep in," He finished, giving a shy tilt of his lips.

"Thanks, Brucie-bear," The nickname easily slipped from my lips. I didn't resist the urge to hug the kind scientist, quickly wrapping my arms around his middle, delightfully sighing when he immediately returned the gesture.

"Good night, Princess," I had to suppress a happy squeak when the man kissed my forehead before retreating and closing the door behind himself. A quick shower and a quest to find a power outlet to plug my charger into preceded my less than graceful flop into the bed. It felt like sleeping on a cloud, honestly, it had nothing on my mother's orthopaedic memory foam mattresses. I passed out faster than I’d ever had.

[nicolewoo]

Daddy Please Part 2

-Pairing: Joe Anaoi X Reader (Roman Reigns X Reader)

Warning: SMUT SMUT SMUT Spanking SMUT SMUT SMUT

Note from the author: I’ve spent a good portion of the day trying to write this despite having a dreadful day. I’m exhausted, so I’m not even proof reading it. I’ll get to that tomorrow, but here it is.

Enjoy Part 1

Joe and I slept at the club. It was a neutral point, and we were exhausted after the night we had. He offered to take me home after our shower, but I was too tired, and I didn’t have to be in the office …. well… anytime soon. After the 6-month long trial in Florida, I’d earned a break. I emailed my assistant that I would be late at the very least and may take the whole day off. I also instructed her to have a new pair of cuff links sent to Henry’s house with a thank you note. “He’ll know what for.” I added so she wouldn’t ask questions.

Joe curled his body around mine, spooning me tight as we slept, and I reveled in it. Being without a dom for 2 years was difficult, but the hardest part was sleeping alone. Henry had spoiled me by letting me sleep with him most nights, and I hoped Joe would want that also.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

A hand brushed over my side, pulling the sheet and blanket off me. I moan as the cold air hit my skin, and Joe shushed me. “It’s ok, baby girl. I’m just checking your body.” His fingers explored my skin, stopping when he reached my hip. “Is this ok?” he asked as he pushed into the bruised skin of my hip. It didn’t hurt bad, but it was tender.

“It’s ok.” I said. I was much more concerned about my vagina. He had fucked me wild last night, and I could already feel the tenderness of the skin without even touching it.

He sat on the bed, covering me up to keep me warm and bent over to kiss me. “I have to go to work.” The sun wasn’t even up yet.

“What time is it?” I asked and heard him chuckle.

He brushed my cheek with the back of his fingers. “It’s 4 am. Go back to sleep, baby girl.”

I tried to figure out how much sleep we’d had but couldn’t quite shake the sleep fog out of my head. I knew it was just a couple of hours… Maybe 3? Either way, it wasn’t enough. As sleep began to pull me down, I stopped worrying about it and just relaxed. “I’ll call you later.” He kissed my forehead before leaving.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

I woke feeling completely new. My aching need had been sated, and yet, my body craved more of Joe. I smiled as I remembered last night.

When I went to the bathroom, I found Joe had left me a note taped to the mirror.

Good morning, beautiful. Last night was perfect and I can’t wait to see you again. When you wake up, call the front desk, and they’ll bring you breakfast. I’ve already ordered, and I expect you to eat at least ½ of what I give you. I’ll call you around lunch time. I’m hoping we can start contract negotiations tonight. Relax and enjoy your day and Thank you.

The note made me smile as much as the memories of last night. Next to the note was a bottle of Ibuprofen and some numbing cream. I took advantage of both, spreading the numbing cream over my hips and letting the ibuprofen help with everything else. Now that I was up, I could feel the aching in my muscles. I hadn’t used some of those muscles in 2 years, and they cried out for attention.

I drew a hot bath and called the front desk as I waited. “This is Y/N. I’m supposed to call you for breakfast?”

The desk attendant didn’t miss a beat. “Yes, ma’am. Would you prefer coffee or tea?”

“Coffee please with lots of sugar and cream.” I requested.

“How would you like your eggs?” He asked.

“Scrambled, please.”

He acknowledged me and said breakfast would arrive in the next 15 minutes. That wasn’t enough time for a long soak in the tub, but maybe the hot water could work out a few muscles before breakfast. I climbed in the tub, cursing at the heat, but knowing the hotter the better.  

After my bath and breakfast, I dressed and attempted to fix my makeup, to no avail. My phone dinged as I was finishing my hair.

Morning babe. How did last night go? It was Henry texting me.

It was wonderful. Thank you for connecting us. Really! Thank you!

My pleasure. I was getting worried about you working so much and not taking care of your other…. Needs.

I laughed at the idea that he wouldn’t just come out and say my need to be a sub. After all, he was once my dom, and we were still great friends. My “needs” are met, although I suspect more will arise soon.

Lol. Enjoy your day babe. Ann says hi.

Tell her I said thanks and I’ll probably see her tonight.

You’re coming back to the club? Two nights in a row? I figured you’d be with Joe tonight.

I chuckled. I’m still at the club. We stayed here last night. We still have to negotiate a contract, and I think the club would be a nice neutral place.

Agreed. See you tonight.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

My cell phone rang, and I let the car pick it up. “Y/N” I announced.

It was my assistant, Alyssa. “Ma’am. I have a Joe Annooowhy (she fumbled trying to figure out how to say it) …. Something like that. Would you like me to forward the call to you?”

My stomach rolled in anticipation, but I was able to keep my professional demeanor. “Yes please, Alyssa.”

“Good afternoon.” His deep voice through the speakers of my car vibrated through me surrounding me in warm waves and memories of last night.

I sighed happily, “Joe.”

He chuckled. “Miss me baby girl?” I could hear the smile in his voice. “Sounds like you’re relieved to hear my voice.”

I thought for a second. “I am.”

“Thought I wouldn’t call?” He asked.

“No. No that’s not it. I just…. It’s corny.” I laughed to myself.

His voice lowered another octave. “Tell me, baby girl.” He sounded amused, but I wasn’t going to defy his order.

Should I actually say this? Being a sub felt odd after all this time of being alone. I tried to remember how I did it with Henry. I was easily able to separate work me vs. sub me. I’m out of practice now. What would Henry want? He’d want me to say it. “You sound like,” I paused. “home.” As soon as I said it, I was afraid I’d said too much.

“I like the way that sounds.” I could hear his smile in his voice. “So, tonight, Henry and Ann have invited us to dinner. I’ll pick you up from your office at 6.” He wasn’t asking.

“I wasn’t going to go to the office today.” I admitted.

He paused for the briefest second. I’d thrown off his plan. “Alright. I’ll pick you up at your house?”

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

I was ready when my doorbell rang, and I rushed to get to the door quickly. Joe looked amazing, and I couldn’t stop my smile when I opened the door.

We crashed into each other. All hands, lips and tongues, fingers grabbing with need. Our moans and grunts filling the air as we desperately tried to find relief. Joe pushed us through the front door and closed it behind him with his foot. “That made it worse.”

I pressed as close to him as I could, and it still wasn’t enough. “Made what worse?”

He pulled my hair back gently and kissed his way down my throat. “All day long, all I wanted was you. Now that I’m here, I want you more. Why the hell did I accept Henry’s dinner invitation?” He asked between kisses.

I knew what he meant. I wanted nothing more than to be alone with Joe. Alone, naked…. There was a good chance negotiations would take hours, and dinner would make the day even longer. I melted into Joe’s kiss; my head clouded with lust. I needed to focus. “Because Henry doesn’t take no for an answer.” I said.

Joe pulled away to look into my eyes and paused before chuckling. “You’re right.” He took a deep breath and placed a chaste kiss on my lips. “We should get going.” He peeked at the clock on my wall.

I looked slyly up at him, “We could have a quickie?” I brushed my fingers over his crotch.

He grabbed my hand and pulled it up to his lips. “Baby girl, there are only 2 things I want to do quick tonight. Dinner and the contract signing.” I couldn’t help but laugh.

“Yes daddy.” He hugged me tight.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

“You know, I deserve credit for hooking you two up.” Henry said as he stretched his arms out and wrapped one around Ann.

Dinner had been amazing. The food, the conversation, everything. I got to see how Henry and Joe interact. They were better friends than I had known, and they were happily laughing at stories. Between Henry and his boisterous personality and Joe with his intimidating size and loud laugh, Ann and I barely got a chance to talk. I sat pondering these 2 men. Both of them had giant personalities, and incredibly good looks, and whenever they entered a room, they commanded attention. Now, with both in the restaurant, it almost became a power struggle, but somehow it worked.

“Henry,” Joe said straightening up. “I’m sure you’ll understand. I quite anxious to start contract negotiations. We’re going to head out.” Joe stood and gave me his hand.

When Henry and Ann both chuckled, Joe shot them an un-approving look. “Joe, it won’t take near as long as you think. She probably has an envelope with 3 different contracts in her purse.”

Joe looked from them to me as Henry and Ann stood. “Don’t be ridiculous, Henry.” I said as he hugged me. “It’s all done on a tablet now.” I patted the side of my purse for effect, and we laughed more.

“We won’t hold you up any further.” Ann said as she hugged me. “He’s a great guy,” she whispered in my ear. I smiled fondly at her as I mouthed thanks to her.

“Ready, baby girl?” Joe said placing his hand on the small of my back. I looked up at him with every intention of saying yes, but when his eyes locked on mine, I couldn’t speak so I nodded yes.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Contract negotiations went perfectly. Henry had really chosen well for me.  Joe and I wanted similar things, and we only had to negotiate 3 points. All in all, it took an hour, which thrilled both of us. Now, the night loomed before us full of possibilities.

“Stand there.” Joe said quietly but forcefully as he pointed to the spot he’d had me stand in last night. He locked the door and hung up his suit coat before coming to me and kissing me deeply. His hands roamed down my sides and slipped under my dress, slowly pulling it up over my head. Stepping back, he surveyed the matching black lace underwear and bra. “Black lace again?” He sounded pleased. I nodded yes as he ran his hands over the fabric of my bra. “You paid attention last night. Thank you. Black lace is my favorite.” He kissed me gently and ran his hands over my ass before walking across the room. He grabbed a bottle out of a desk drawer and poured an amber liquid into a high ball glass before sitting on the desk chair.

As I stood there, he casually leaned back in the chair and sat ogling my almost naked form as he sipped his drink. The longer he sat, the more awkward it felt to be standing there. I assume he was doing it on purpose to push my buttons, and it was working. After 2 years on my own, I wasn’t used to such obvious leering. The complete silence in the room was just making everything worse, and I was grateful when he spoke. “What are you thinking?” He asked.

I don’t know what I expected him to ask, but this wasn’t it. “I’m wondering why you’re not touching me.” I admitted quietly as I looked at the floor.

“You don’t need to look down tonight. Just be yourself. Talk to me.” He crossed one leg over the other, resting his ankle on his knee. Each move was slow and calculated and screamed dominance. “Maybe I’m thinking about what I’m going to do with you tonight. What do you want me to do?”

Slowly, I raised my eyes from the floor to him. “I….um…. whatever Daddy wants.” I said, which he smiled at.

“Daddy wants to know what you want right now. Tell me the truth.” He stood, took a sip of his drink, laid the glass down and came to stand in front of me.

“I want to make you happy.” I said, and he stepped forward another step, standing close enough for me to feel his body heat and smell his cologne. “I want….” His eyes locked on mine and I couldn’t answer. He just stared down at me, towering over me, somehow dominating me without even saying a word.

He had smiled at my inner brat last night, so I tried to stand my ground. I challenged him with my eyes and my stance. I tried. I stood still for what seemed forever, him so close to me I could almost feel his heartbeat. I tried, but eventually the dominant in him overpowered my inner sub, and I looked down.

I could hear the smile in his voice, “Good girl.” He kissed my forehead and wrapped his arms around me, his large hands covering my ass. It had been a power play. This whole thing had been a power play. I should have known. Mentally I chided myself for not understanding what was happening. Without warning, he undid my bra and pulled the lace down my shoulders and tossed the bra onto the desk.

I took a deep breath as the cold air hit my nipples. “Cold, baby girl?” he teased. I wanted to make a smart remark but instead I just nodded yes. “I’ll warm you up soon. Just wait.”

Wait? Wait? I’d already been waiting. He pulled away from me, untied his tie and unbuttoned his shirt. I peeked up as the edge of his Samoan tattoo came into view, and resolved not to smile, but good grief, he was beautiful. Once his shirt was unbuttoned, he quickly pulled the tie out of his collar, circled me and grabbed my wrists, pulling them back and using the tie to bind them together tightly. He tested the tautness of the knot, but still asked, “Is that ok?” I quickly nodded yes. “Good. So, you’re wondering what I’m going to do to you? You don’t get to know that. I decide that and you accept it. Is that understood?” He ran his hands down my sides until he reached my underwear. Hooking his fingers inside the waistband, he slowly dragged the material down. “Step out.” I did, and he tossed the underwear onto the desk with the bra.  

He grabbed my hips and turned me until I was facing him, but he didn’t rise. He stayed crouched on the floor. He looked up at me with a devilish grin and quickly pushed his hand between my legs. “Spread your feet.” He commanded, and I obliged. He crouched for a moment, drawing out the suspense before finally running two fingers over my slit. “You’re very wet.” He teased me.

I gasped as his fingers ran over my slit again, “Yes, daddy.”

“Do you want daddy to lick you?” He asked.

I looked right in his eyes as I begged, “Please, Daddy, Please.”

I wasn’t even done saying it before he pushed his face into my crotch and he flicked my throbbing clit with his tongue. My head fell back as I moaned in delight, but just as suddenly as he started, he pulled away and stood in front of me. “On the bed, on your knees.” I walked over to the bed, but just as I was getting ready to climb up it, he wrapped his hands around my waist and helped me up.

“Thank you.” I whispered.

I listened as he removed his pants and underwear, desperately wanting to see his dick. When he climbed on the bed behind me, he cupped my breasts with his hands and pushed his erection against me. He pinched my nipples between his fingers, and I felt his hot breath on my neck as he began to twist and pull, gently at first then harder and harder until I yelped. “Very good,” he whispered in my ear. “Henry told me you couldn’t handle much pain, but you did very well with that.” I smiled with pride. “You’ve got a praise kink!” he said excitedly as if he’d just opened a present.

“Yes daddy.” I whispered.

I felt him relax just a bit, “That’s very good, because I like to praise.” He slid one arm down around my waist and pulled the other up along my back until he cupped my neck. He pushed me over until my face was against the bedding. His hand now caressed down my back slowly sliding between my legs and pushing 2 fingers inside me. I cried out. “Does it feel good?” He knew it did, but he wanted me to say it.

“Yes daddy.” I sighed.

“Then fuck my fingers, baby girl. Fuck them like you fucked my dick last night.” He pressed his fingers deeper into me, and I groaned. “Come on. Show me how bad you want my dick.” I pushed back against his hand, and I felt his fingers flutter inside me. I rocked my body away from him and back against him, picking up speed with each rock.  “That’s it baby. Try to get yourself off.”

I had every intention of doing so, but just as my orgasm started to build, he pulled his fingers out of me and brought them to my mouth. “Clean them.” I opened and he slid the two fingers in my mouth. “Don’t you taste delicious?” I nodded my head yes as I wrapped my mouth around his fingers and sucked.

He moaned. “I love that mouth.” I beamed with pride as he laid down on the bed and I could see how hard he was. “Wrap that talented mouth around my cock,” He instructed as he scooted close to my face. Leaning back onto my knees, I positioned myself over him and stuck my tongue out as far as I could. He ran his fingers into my hair, grabbing it as he roughly pushed me down on his cock. I took his full length into my waiting mouth, tasting the pre-cum as I lifted my head. As I flicked my tongue over the top of his head, he groaned so softly I could barely hear it. I slid my lips down his cock again, just deep enough to gag. “Yes, baby girl. Just like that.” He used his grasp on my hair to pull me up and down again and again, and again. “That feels so good.” He loosened his grip and let me play. I explored his cock tip to base, licking, kissing, sucking before taking a ball into my mouth and humming a sound of contentment. He instinctually bucked his hips and crashed into my face clumsily.

He shot up and started doting over me. “Are you ok?” He cupped my face in his hands. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. Let me see.”

I couldn’t help it, I just started laughing and completely ruined the mood of the scene. I half expected to get I trouble, but he laughed with me. He reached behind me and undid the tie. “Let’s take a look.” He searched my face. “You ok?” He chuckled.

“I’m fine.” We both chuckled as he leaned his forehead against mine and wrapped his arms around me.

“You might be a little too good at that.” We both laughed. “Lay down baby girl.” He smiled as he climbed between my knees. He pressed sweet kisses up my thighs. When he flicked his tongue over my clit I gasped loud. I felt his lips spread in a smile before he wrapped his lips over my clit and sucked. I forgot I’d even been laughing. His talented mouth reduced me to a moaning mess quickly.

“Daddy!” I cried out.

“Baby?” He asked.

“Can I cum? Please.”

He smiled big again but didn’t look up at me. “Yes.” He slid two fingers into me again and sucked my clit until I was consumed in a wave of warm tingles. He stopped sucking, but slowly moved his fingers in and out of me to extend my orgasm, finally stilling them inside me as the clenching slowed. He gently pulled them out and crawled up to lay beside me with a warm smile on his face. He trailed his fingers over my arm and watched as I rode out the last shock.

He kissed me softly, sweetly as he climbed between my legs. He pressed his cock up against my core and kissed me again while he slid inside me gradually. He stilled deep inside me. “Open your eyes baby girl.” I did and found him looking sweetly at me. When I smiled at him, he began sliding in and out leisurely at first then building faster and harder with each stroke. I tried to focus on keeping my eyes open, but the better he made me feel the more I forgot and closed my eyes.

He stilled when a second orgasm washed over me. “Baby, you’re so tight.” His words caused me to clench again and he groaned. I wrapped my hands around his neck and pulled him in to kiss me. He started fucking me before the orgasm ended which caused another orgasm to start. My back arched and my head snapped back. He wrapped an arm around my waist and slowed his thrusts. I collapsed onto his arm and he laid me down gingerly. Burying his head in my neck, he peppered kisses along the skin. He thrust in and out of me as he nipped and sucked along my collarbone. When the orgasm was over, he kissed me sweetly.

Opening my eyes, I saw his smiled had turned to a smirk. He allowed me a second to process the change before he grabbed my hips and flipped me over and pulled me onto my hands and knees. Violently he pounded into me as hard and as fast as he could for a few minutes before wrapping an arm around my waist and pulling out of me as jarringly as he started.

I barely had time to process the change when I felt the riding crop hit my ass hard. I yelped in surprise then moaned as the pain turned to tingling. A swift hard hit landed on my other cheek, and I felt his hands rub over the skin. “More?”  he asked, and I moaned out a yes. Slap Slap. The crop hit both cheeks one right after the other. I yelped, then moaned. Slap Slap. Yelp. Moan. Slap. Slap. I yelped. This time though, the pain stayed longer and the moan came later. Slap. Slap. I yelped. When I didn’t moan, he began to massage the skin again. “Good girl.” He soothed. “You did great.” He kissed each cheek before kissing a trail up my back. When he was close to my ear he lowered his head and whispered in my ear. “Ready?”

No. No. I wasn’t ready. Not for another slap from the crop. I didn’t want to use a safe-word so I paused, trying to lengthen the reprieve.

“Answer me baby.” I couldn’t answer. I couldn’t say no, and I wouldn’t safe out. Not this early in the relationship. “Are you ok?” There was a touch of panic in his voice.

The pain was lessening but I answered hesitantly. “Yes.”

“Did we reach your pain threshold?” He soothed me as he asked, and I nodded yes. “Ok baby. I’ll remember that.” He shifted until the head of his penis pushed against my slit. “Ready for me?” I nodded eagerly now that I knew what he was asking about.

He slammed into me, pushing me forward and down into the bed. He yanked me up onto my knees again and held me with a ruthless grip on my waist as he pulled me back onto him fast and rough. I screamed out in joy as he pounded relentlessly into me for what seemed like hours, his grunts mixing with my screams. I came quickly, but he didn’t slow, didn’t stop, he kept pounding into me unceasingly until his grunts grew louder and he exploded inside me with a loud roar wildly thrusting as he emptied himself inside me.

I collapsed and he slowly lowered us onto the bed, sliding his arm under me and pulling me until my head was cradled on his chest. We laid there, catching our breath. His hands caressed me gently, and my skin tingled with each touch. I sighed, content to lay with him forever, and he was in no hurry to move either. So we laid there touching, kissing, enjoying each other for a long time. “Let’s get you cleaned up and get some sleep,” he said softly. I smiled wide as I realized he wanted to sleep with me.

Part 3

 @mindofasagittaruis​ @lclb13​ @reigns-5sos​

[inagetawaycarxo]

Consequences| Jay Halstead

um she finds out she's pregnant and he's with Erin - @ElleVoight

Featuring: Jay Halstead, y/n, Connor Rhodes, Hank Voight, Will Halstead, Maggie, April.

Fandom: Chicago P.D.

Summary: y/n gets some unexpected news that changes her life, and Jay's.

WARNINGS: angst, lots of tears, medical stuff I probably got wrong, the reader is a doctor in this, the mention of abortion, cheating (mentioned/implied), more cheating, kissing, this is an imagine so relax linstead fans.

Word Count:3k +

NOTE: y/n/n = your nickname

Your grip on the medical stapler gun tightened. As your head throbbed. Your hand trembling. Heart beating faster. You felt lightheaded.

"Doctor Voight, the stapler." Connor spoke. Holding his hand out. Waiting for you to put it in his hand. When you didn't hand it over, Connor raised his head up. Turning his head to the side to look at you. His eyebrows furrowing as he noticed your trembling form.

"Y/n." he spoke again. Making you snap your head towards him. Gulping rapidly. You stared at him.

"The stapler." Connor spoke again. You looked down at your trembling hand that was holding the stapler. You looked back up at Connor. Who was looking at you. Waiting patiently for you to hand him the stapler.

"Right...here, sorry." You spoke. Handing him the stapler. Connor took notice of your trembling hands, as he took the stapler from you. Your head felt like it was spinning.

"Are you okay, Dr Voight?" Connor asked.

Just as you were about to reply, you heard the stapler click. Making you flinch.

"I'm fine..." You mumbled. Black spots appearing in your vision. You felt woozy. Your hand went to grab something, but you collapsed. The last thing you heard was Connor calling your name before darkness surrounded you...

__________________________________________

The sound of a groan escaped your mouth, making Hank sit right up. His hand gripping your hand tighter.

Eyes fluttering opened. You let out a whine, as the bright lights blinded you. Making you shut them again.

"Oh sweetheart, you gave me such a scare." Your dad spoke. Making your eyes flutter open. You quickly turned your head in the direction of where his voice came from.

"Dad, really I'm fine, you don't have to be here. I'm sure you have some big case to do." You huffed out. Taking in his worried features. You tried to remove the blankets from your body. But of course, your father stopped you. Giving you a stern look.

"Nonsense, Your more Important than that, and you're not fine. You fainted. A healthy young woman your age doesn't just faint." He spoke sternly. Making you roll your eyes.

"I'm just exhausted, that's all." You grumbled. Crossing your arms over your chest. Frowning at him.

"How many hours have you worked? Have you been getting enough sleep?" Your father asked. Making you roll your eyes again. You pinched the bridge of your nose. Cursing underneath your breath.

"Seriously?" You whined.

"Yes, I am serious. I could have lost you today." Your father grunted out.

"Well, I survived." You muttered out. Picking at the hospital blanket. Slightly wincing as the IV cannula poked your vein.

"I wish you would take this seriously, y/n. You could have died." Your father shouted.

"I'm sure all my tests will come back okay." You sighed. Looking at him. Smiling at him.

"Maybe you should get fewer working hours, or fewer shifts, or take a holiday." Your father insisted.

"Dad, seriously I am fine, I don't need to cut back on work." You sighed out. But he didn't listen to you.

"How long does it take to run some tests?" Your father grumbled. Looking at the door of the hospital room. His jaw tightening.

Just as you were about to speak, the door opened. Revealing Connor, holding a tablet. Making you let out a sigh of relief. Being saved from your fathers ranting.

"Is she okay?" Your father asked before Connor could even shut the door.

"Everything checked out fine, though your blood pressure is low." Connor spoke. Making your father grab your hand. Gripping it tighter. While his heart beat faster. You felt your heart go to your throat. As you gripped your fathers' hand tighter.

"Is that a bad thing? What does that mean?" Your dad asked. Looking more worried by the second. Thinking the worst.

Connor looked at you than at your father. Pursing his lips. Before speaking.

"Hypotension can happen for a number of reasons-" Connor started to say, only for your father to cut him off.

"What's the reason?" Your father cut Connor off before Connor could finish what he was saying.

"The reason for y/n's, low blood pressure is because she is pregnant. It's common in the first 24 weeks of pregnancy for blood pressure to drop." Connor answered. Making your breath quicken. While your dad's eyes widen in shock.

"Pregnant, my daughter is pregnant?" Your father asked in shock.

"Yes, Mr Voight, your daughter is pregnant. Congratulations, y/n." Connor announced. With a smile on his face. While you looked at him in shock. Your father, on the other hand, was ecstatic.

"I'm going to be a grandfather?" Your father asked. Tears forming in his eyes.

"Yes, Mr Voight." Connor replied. Smiling at him. Hank quickly looked at you. A proud smile on his face. You gave him a fake smile.

"This is great news." Your father beamed.

But all you could think about was how you were going to tell Jay? And how he was going to react? Would he dump you?

Connor frowned at your reaction. Letting out an awkward cough, before excusing himself.

"I'll leave you both alone for a minute, I'll get your discharge papers straight away." Connor spoke. Nodding his head at you and your father, before he left the room.

"Thanks." You muttered.

"Thank you." Your father spoke.

"My little baby is having a baby." Your father beamed. Pressing a kiss to your hand. As tears of joy gathered in his eyes.

"Dad..." You mumbled.

"Though I have to ask who's the father?" Your father asked.

"So, you can beat them up, I don't think so." You grumbled.

"It's not Rhodes is it?" He asked.

"No." you answered him. Scrunching your face up in disdain.

"Halstead?" he asked again. Making your heartbeat race. You gulped, as you felt anxiety set in. Your throat felt like it was closing. Thinking he finally found out about Jay and you.

"So, it is Will?" Your father spoke. Taking in your reaction. You felt your heart rate slowly sped down, before letting out a scoff. Relief flooding you. Glad he said the wrong Halstead brother. But that didn't give you much relief since you still had to tell Jay.

"What? No. Can you stop interrogating me on who the father is." You huffed out. Pulling your hand away from his and crossing your arms over your chest.

"Alright, I'll lay off." He spoke. Raising his eyebrows.

"Good." You grumbled.

"For now." He smirked. Making you roll your eyes.

Just as you were about to speak the door opened. Revealing Connor, holding your discharge papers.

"Here's your discharge papers." Connor spoke. Walking up to your bed. Handing over the discharge papers to you. You gratefully took them from him.

"I'll let you get dressed. I'm going to grab the car." Your father spoke. Getting up.

"Dad lots of pregnant women drive. I can drive myself home, I'm not injured, just pregnant." You grumbled. Signing your signature on the discharge papers.

"Nonsense, I'm taking you home." Your father spoke. Making you roll your eyes. Your father gave Connor a small smile. Shaking his head at your stubbornness, before leaving the room.

"Here." You spoke. Handing Connor the discharge papers.

"Are you okay?" Connor asked. As you began to take the IV cannula off.

"Yeah, of course, why wouldn't I be." You replied. Furrowing your eyebrows in confusion.

"It's just..." Connor started to say but stopped himself. Sucking in a deep breath before letting it out. Making you turn your head towards him. Eyes narrowing as you looked at him.

"When I told you the news of your pregnancy you didn't seem to happy about it, more shocked than happy." Connor spoke. Making your jaw tighten.

"Well, you would be shocked to if it was unexpected." You grumbled. Taking the blanket off you.

"Look, y/n I know your current situation isn't exactly that great. But I hope you tell Jay, instead of getting an abortion." Connor spoke sternly. You stopped getting up. Giving him a cold glare.

"Sh, anyone could here you. Besides I'm not going to get rid of the baby. I just...I don't think I should tell him." You hissed out.

"Y/n, he has a right to know. He is the father of your unborn child, it's his kid." Connor snapped. You let out a scoff. As tears blurred your vision.

"Y/n, I highly recommend you tell him." Connor demanded.

"As a friend or a doctor." You snapped. Getting up.

"As your friend. He was a right to know, you will regret not telling him." Connor sighed. Pinching the bridge of his nose.

"I can't, what if he leaves me for this? What if he chooses her over me because of this? What if he abandons me, what if-" You gulped out, voice shaking.

"You do know that." Connor softly spoke. Walking closer to you. His hands resting on your shoulders.

"I'm scared, Connor." You sobbed. Tears falling from your eyes.

"Hey, sh, I will be here for you when it goes south, just tell him, and if he abandons you and the baby then I will beat him up." Connor spoke. Pulling you into his chest. His arms wrapping around your shaking form.

"Thank you." You mumbled into his chest. As he rubbed his hand up and down your back. Soothing you, for a few more minutes before pulling away.

"You going to be okay?" Connor asked. As you pulled away from his embrace.

"Yeah, I always am. I should get dressed." You answered him. Giving him a slight small smile.

"I'm here for you, y/n, you know that right." Connor spoke. Making you smile.

"I know." You replied. Connor gave you a slight smile, before leaving you to get changed.

You quickly put your clothes on. Wiping your tears away, before you exited the room, walking down to the ED...

You quickly walked into the resident's lounge area, smiling at Will, as you made your way over towards your locker. Putting the code in.

"Congratulations, y/n." Will beamed. Smiling at you.

"Nothing stays secret in this hospital does it?" You joked

Will pretended to think for a moment, before answering you.

"Nope." He answered. Making you chuckle. As you took your jacket off. Putting it on the coat hanger. Then taking your handbag out of the locker. You quickly took out your phone. Turning it on. Furrowing deeply, as you saw you had twenty missed calls and texts from Jay. Your breathing hitched. As your heart quickened.

"Y/n, did you hear what I said?" Will asked, snapping you out of your daze.

"No...What? Sorry." You apologized. Giving him an apologetic smile.

"I said if you need someone to help you put the baby furniture up, I'm your guy." Will spoke. Giving you a charming smile.

"Right, thanks. I should go before my father gets impatient." You spoke. Shutting your locker door.

"Right, see ya, y/n." Will spoke.

"See ya, Halstead." You spoke. Smiling at him as you exited the room. You were immediately wrapped in an embrace.

"Congratulations, y/n/n." Maggie spoke. Pulling away. Resting her hand on your stomach.

"Thanks, Mags." You responded to her.

"Congrats y/n." April spoke. Hugging you carefully.

"Thanks, April." You replied. Smiling at her.

"Better get going, before my dad comes storming in here, or he puts me on house arrest. Which really wouldn't surprise me." You mumbled.

"He just cares about you, sweetie." Maggie spoke. Her hand resting on your shoulder. And giving it a reassuring squeeze.

"Little bit too much." You muttered. Making Maggie and April let out a chuckle.

"We are here if you need us. Nothing is off the table." Maggie spoke. Making you smile at her.

"You'll regret saying that, but thank you, I'll see both of you tomorrow." You spoke.

"Bye." Both Maggie and April spoke. Maggie's hand slipping from your shoulder, as you walked out of the ED.

You quickly made your way over to your dad. Who has leaning against the car. Arms crossed. He quickly stood up straight as made your way over towards him.

"You do realize I can drive myself home." You spoke. As he opened the passenger door for you.

"What if you faint on the way home, have a car accident, lose your baby, and your own life?" He spoke.

"So morbid. Fine, but you aren't staying at my house. I'm fine." You huffed. Getting in the car. You shut the door before he could argue. You quickly put your seat belt on.

He quickly got in. Starting the car up. And speeding off.

"I really think you should move out of your apartment. It's too sketchy." He spoke.

"Seriously, dad." You huffed out. As he slowly drove to your apartment complex.

"Maybe, come live with me." He suggested making you roll your eyes.

"Dad, I'm not leaving my apartment just because I'm pregnant, and I'm definitely not moving in with you." You huffed out. crossing your hands over your chest.

"I just worry about you. All alone in that apartment. Especially now since your pregnant. Single and alone. You never know what sick minded people are out there." He spoke.

"Dad, just drop it, okay." You grumbled.

"Okay, but the offer still stands." He spoke. Making you let out an annoyed sigh.

The rest of the car ride was met with silence. You let out a sigh of relief as your father stopped in front of your apartment complex. Turning around to face him, as you take your seatbelt off.

"Thanks, Dad, I'll talk to you tomorrow, love you." You spoke. Pressing a soft kiss on his cheek, then a side hug, before opening the door, then exit the car.

"Wait, just be careful." He spoke. Making you playfully roll your eyes.

"Always am." You responded. Slamming the door before he could say something else.

You quickly entered your apartment complex. Saying hello to the receptionist, as you made your way to the elevator.

You quickly entered the elevator. Pressing the button to your floor. Tapping your foot on the ground, as you waited for it to go to your floor. Your mind quickly wandered off. Thinking of how where you going to tell Jay? Should you tell him? I mean he did have a right to know. Would he leave you?

The loud sound of a ding brought you out of your thoughts. You quickly exited the elevator. Grabbing your keys out of your handbag, as you walked towards your apartment.

You quickly opened the door. Walking in quickly. Before closing it. Then locking it. You quickly put the chain across. Then turned on the lights. You turned around, stopping in your tracks, as you saw a figure sitting on one of your barstools. A small scream left your mouth, as you put your hand on your heart. Your heart felt like it was in your throat.

"Y/n." Jay spoke. Quickly walking over to you. You let out a sigh of relief as you realized it was Jay. But the feeling of your heart in your throat didn't go away.

"Oh my god Jay, you scared me." You gasped out.

"I'm sorry, you weren't answering my texts or calls, I thought something bad happened to you." Jay spoke. Wrapping his arms around you. Bringing you closer to his chest. Jay pressed his lips against the top of your head.

"I'm fine." You replied. Squeezing your eyes closed.

"Y/n-" Jay started to say, only for you to cut him off.

"I have to tell you something, it's important." You spoke. Pulling away from his embrace. You stared up at him through tear-filled eyes. Jay frowned at you. As you stared up at him with a sad expression.

"You're breaking up with me?" he assumed, tears filling his eyes. As his bottom lip trembled. Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

"No, I'm not breaking up with you. But you might break up with me." You spoke softly. This time it was Jay's eyebrows that furrowed in confusion. His forehead creasing.

"I would never break up with you." Jay sniffled out. His thumb caressing your jawline. As he looked at you. Searching your eyes.

"I'm pregnant." You quickly spoke. Making Jay look at you with a shocked expression.

"Wait? What?" Jay spoke. His thumb slipping from your jawline.

"I understand if you want to end this because of this. And well, you know you don't want anything to do with the baby. But you had a right to know. And I would never keep you from the baby if someday you wanted to be a part of their life one day." You spoke. Tears blurring your vision. Jay looked away from you. As he gulped rapidly. His jaw clenching. Tears fell out of your eyes. Which broke your heart. You quickly looked down at the ground. Feeling ashamed.

"Pregnant." Jay whimpered. You nodded your head. Still looking at the ground. Closing your eyes. As tears fell from your eyes, and down your cheeks.

You felt Jay's warm hands cup the side of your face. Pulling it up to look at him. Your eyes fluttered open. Staring at Jay through tear-filled eyes.

"We'll work this out, we will make this work." He reassured you. As you nodded your head weakly.

"How you are still with her?" You asked. Squeezing your eyes shut. Jay quickly wiped your fallen tears away with the pads of his thumbs.

"Then I'll leave her." He spoke. Making your eyes snap open. You looked up at him in shock. Mouth a gap a bit.

"Jay-" You started to argue, but he cut you off.

"I love you so much, I can't lose you." Jay cried. His eyes gazing into your eyes. Your tongue slightly wetted your bottom lip. Making Jay's eyes wander down to your lips. He quickly kissed you passionately. His thumbs caressing your jawline, as he deepened the kiss.

When Jay pulled his mouth away from yours, he rested his forehead against yours. Staring at you with so much love. One his hands slid down from your face, and towards your stomach. Resting his hand on your stomach.

He quickly tilted his head up. Pressing a kiss on your forehead. Before wrapping his arms around you. Pulling you close to his chest. carefully making sure he doesn't hug you to tight.

"I promise you everything will work out. Everything will be fine." Jay spoke. Pressing light kisses on top of your head, and your forehead. But you knew that wasn't true. You knew something bad was going to happen.

[official-wayward-keener]

Irondad Bingo - "I Don't Feel So Good"

Past Memories and Sick Days

Peter is sick and say something that cause Tony to remember a day he would rather forget.

Ao3 Link here

“I don’t feel so good,” Peter said as he came into the room with a blanket wrapped around him. Tony turned, panicked. The last time those words were spoken, Peter fell to his arms and turned to dust. He had held his kid one last time for over five years. Peter now was swaying and pale. Tony went and led the kid to the couch to sit down. Tony watched Peter for a bit. He waited for Peter to turn to dust like he had that one day. A memory repeating itself. Except Peter never disappeared, he just shivered. Tony decided to get the kid some medicine. When he came back he half expected Peter not to be there but the kid was still there. Peter was shivering. Tony handed him the medicine to take before Tony went off to grab more blankets for the kid. When he came back he felt Peter’s forehead and noticed the kid was warm. He made sure to wrap up the kid in the blankets before going to make him some hot tea. Peter fell back asleep as he rested not knowing that what he said concerned Tony more than it did.

~

Peter woke to Tony working on the couch beside him. May was checking his temperature as she smiled at him.

“Afternoon,” She told him. “How are you feeling?”

“My head is still pounding but I feel less like throwing up,” Peter said, which seemed to let Tony breathe a sigh of relief. May smiled.

“Your temp doesn’t feel as warm so I guess it was just a cold. I’ll get you something so you can go back to sleep and when you wake we will see how you are doing before we decide if you need to stay home tomorrow from school as well.” May walked off without saying anything else to Peter. Peter smiled at her before turning to Tony.

“I got some gatorade here if you want some. May said you need to stay hydrated,” Tony told Peter. Peter took it, thankful for the liquid as it went down his dry throat.

“Thanks,” Peter said after gulping down half his gatorade. Tony just nodded before turning back to his tablet. Morgan was playing not far from them.

“Shouldn’t Morgan still be in school?” Peter asked before seeing the clock. It was 2:47pm. Morgan normally got home at 2:30 from Kindergarten. Peter had seen her off the first few days before his own school started back up.

“Happy picked her up. He grumbled about it but I know for a fact that if one of my kids asked him for something that he would do it,” Tony said. He was still focused on the tablet.

“How many times has Harley begged for something from Happy? I see Morgan but not Harley,” Peter said.

“Normally it's Morgan but he has given Harley rides before. Especially when his mother let him stay the summer. Though Happy I think has more of a soft spot for you and Morgan,” Tony said.

“I’m not one of your kids though,” Peter said, feeling a yawn come on. Tony smiled, setting down the tablet before pulling the blankets back over Peter’s arms.

“Sure, Bambino,” Tony ruffled his hair before sitting down. Peter was confused but got distracted by May’s return with medicine for him. Peter took it though he wasn’t a fan of it. Before he could ask Tony anything more, May told him to rest and started talking to Tony. Peter closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep. Not knowing how much Tony cared about him or how much he was haunted by the time on Titan.

~

“Mr. Stark, I don’t feel so good,” Peter said. Tony looked at Peter who had just walked into the living room. Tony ran to him and caught him in his arm as they fell to the ground. Tony held him as Peter turned to dust. “You failed me, Dad.”

Tony woke up breathing heavily. He tried to calm his breathing but he could not. Pepper looked at him and talked him through the normal breathing exercises. Tony eventually calmed down as he noticed Peter was fast asleep on the couch with Morgan sleeping next to him. Tony seemed to breathe seeing both kids there. He would probably message Nebula and Harley later and even check in with Wanda. He knew losing Vision was hard on him; he could only imagine how it affected Wanda who was in a relationship with Vision.

“We won,” Pepper reminded him.

“We won, Mr. Stark,” Peter cried out. As his voice let him start to drift into the void.

“I know, but the kid said something recently and it triggered a memory. It made me have to think about losing Peter, losing Harley, and losing Vision. I have lost so much and yet everytime I save the day, I almost lose myself,” Tony looked away but Pepper put her hand on his face and made him look at her.

“I think you aren’t getting in the suit for a long time,” Pepper reminded him. His arm was mostly gone. A prosthetic arm replaced it but it was still something that led him to not being able to get back in the suit. Which left Harley to take over the Iron Man mantle when he had been properly trained and finished school. Not that anyone knew there was another Iron Man ready to take the mantle. No they were more focused on Spider-Man which is why his kid was working himself sick. That was until now that Tony had finally figured out how Peter got so sick in the first place. His kid needed a break so maybe May and Tony decided he would take the rest of the week off. Peter would try fighting them but it was a much needed break.

“You have a bunch of amazing kids who are here to support their old man,” Pepper said.

“I’m not that old,” Tony whined. Pepper just grinned.

“Sure you’re not.” Their conversation was interpreted by Peter calling out Dad. Tony didn’t know if he was calling for his dad or for Tony. He knew Richard Parker had been dead for a long time but he never dealt with a sick Peter before.

“I’m here, Kid. You can go back to sleep,” Tony told his kid, putting a hand on his cheek. Peter relaxed, falling back to sleep. Peter smiled as he fell back to sleep.

“Like father, like son,” Pepper said before picking Morgan up to put their youngest in bed.

“You know you have five kids because you married someone who keeps gaining kids for some reason,” Tony joked.

“I think I know why,” Pepper said before leaving him to make sure Peter didn’t wake up again. Tony sat back down watching Peter sleep peacefully glad he got his kid back after everything.

[marvelmadam08]

Meanwhile, In Quarantine...

Part of 100 Days of Marvel

Prompt 7: Well which is it? I’m getting nervous. // Prompt 79: You just ignored rule one through five. // Prompt 39: We’re gonna die here. // Prompt 11: I remind myself murder, even attempted, is illegal.

A/N: I’m on day seven or nine (honestly I lost count) of my quarantine, and I am slowly loosing my mind. Then I thought ‘What would the Avengers do during this quarantine?

~~~~~

One Week Earlier

“Miss (Y/N), Mr. Stark is calling for a mandatory team meeting in the common area.” Friday announces to you, interrupting your workout

“Right now?” you huffed out

“Yes, he says it’s urgent.”

You were the last to show up, annoyed and sweaty. Nat seemed to be the only other one who looked as annoyed as you, with her hair wrapped in a towel. Bucky, Sam and Steve lounged on the couch, while Clint was sharpening his arrows. Wanda and Vision stood off to the side to themselves. Thor sat next to Peter, who was hunched over his homework and Bruce stood next to Tony by the muted television displaying the news.

“Everyone here?” Tony pointed to everyone “Good, well I’m not sure if you all heard about this whole ‘virus’ that’s going around.”

“The Coronavirus?” Steve asked

“That’s the one,” Bruce nods “there have been a few cases popping up throughout the city, as well as the country, and within the next few days the entire country is going to be on mandatory quarantine.”

“Quarantine?” Peter spoke up “Like we can’t leave the country?”

“No, as in you can’t leave your house. And that includes The Compound and Tower as well.”

The room erupted in numerous hisses of disagreement. 

“Half of us don’t even need to be in quarantine.” Nat stated loudly

“Yeah, stupid super soldiers.” you muttered

“That’s uncalled for.” Bucky gave you a stink eye 

“Doesn’t matter, we’re being order by the government and Fury to stay put.” Tony tells you all “Parker, I’m only gonna say this once, you to stay put. No school, no parties, no dates.”

“But here at The Compound would be more ideal, seeing as it’s away from the city.” Bruce adds softly

“So we’re stuck here?” Wanda asks “For how long?”

“Well they say the quarantine could last between two weeks to two months.”

“Well which is it? I’m getting nervous.” Sam unmuted the TV

‘....stores have already begun to run out of water, toilet paper, and even baby wipes...’

Day 1

You, Wanda and Laura (Clint’s wife) were organizing the last of the quarantine supplies. Clint couldn’t stomach the idea of not being with them during the whole pandemic, so he asked to bring them up until everything blew over.

“Okay so the kitchen is fully stocked, all the cleaning supplies are put away.” Wanda sighed “It’s kind of scary, how everyone is reacting out there.”

“Yeah, I had to wrestle some hand sanitizer from some grown woman wearing a face mask and rubber gloves.” Laura admits

“I wish I could’ve seen that, since you had Nate strapped to your chest.” 

“Speaking of, I should go check on him.” 

Just as Laura walked out, Steve, Bucky and Peter walked in with large pizzas in their hands.

“This is the last of take out for the next few weeks. Enjoy it while it lasts.” Steve tells us

Everyone swarmed for their chosen slices before gravitating towards the TV to get an update on the quarantine. You were instructed to stay inside, only to leave unless it was absolutely necessary, and then return back to respective homes. Keep your contact with other people down to a minimum, and overall to sanitize and wash often. 

“This is what I do on a regular basis.” Bucky scoffed

“Same.” Wanda and Nat chimed in

“This is gonna be so cool, like one big party.” Peter clapped

A few of the other groaned at Peter’s optimism.

“The kid is right,” Tony agreed “most times we’re on missions for weeks at a time. How is this any different?”

“He does make a point.” Vision nods “And surely there’s enough room for everyone to find their own thing.”

Day 4

You glared at Bucky, who was tapping his pen against his teeth, while trying to figure out the crossword puzzle in front of him. You were trying to do silent yoga, silent being the key word.

“Barnes, can you stop that?” you said through your teeth

“Stop what?” he paused

“Tapping the pen on your teeth.”

“It helps me think. Why aren’t you in the gym?”

“Because I can’t take Steve and Nat talking smack when they spar each other. And Sam is playing his music too loud, and his room is next to mine.”

“And it’s the tapping that bothers you?”

“Forget it.” you closed you eyes again and worked on tuning Bucky out

Tony hurried in, scanning around the room “Has anyone seen Parker? I can’t find him and neither can his aunt. (Y/L/N)?”

“Shh, doing silent yoga.” You hushed “And no, I haven’t.”

“He left.” Clint spoke from above the rest of you. There was a small whirling noise, and metal scrapping against more metal, then Clint and his daughter poked their head out from the vent above us.

“What do you mean he left?”

“He said something about building a death star.” The younger Barton, Lila, answered

“Friday, override and track the kid’s phone for me.” 

“Of course Mr. Stark.”

Tony turned his attention to the TV, tapping on his phone and started to call Peter over video. At this point you gave up on silent yoga and just laid out on the mat. Peter’s face popped up on the screen but he wasn’t looking at his phone 

“Trust me, they don’t even know I’m gone.” he told someone off screen 

“Hello Mister Parker.” Tony waves

“Mr. Stark!” He hurried to pick up his phone “Hey, hi... um that’s so funny I was just about to come down to the lab, from my room.... which is where I am.... right now.”

“Oh you’re in your room? Not at Ned’s place building legos?”

He paused “No? I just got so bored! And there were so many rules to just stay in.”

“There were six rules max, and you just ignored rule one through five!”

“Are you sure he’s not your kid?” you chuckled

Day 7

“Twenty-three bottles of pop on the wall.” Sam half sung, eyelids closed, while rocking Nate to sleep

Steve and Bucky were each cuddling a plush stuffed animal on the floor. Morgan ran back and forth between poking Steve with a wooden spoon and the spot where she had a pile of cookies waiting on a plate. And Lila and Cooper were on their phones, headphones in, and not paying attention to their surroundings.

“What the hell you guys?” Nat groaned

“Ooh Auntie Nat said a bad word.” Morgan giggled

“Hey Monster.”

“Auntie (Y/N)!” Morgan jumped over Bucky and ran over to climb up your side until she reached your shoulders. “Guess what, I got to have cookies and chicken nuggets, gummies and a bunch of soda.”

“Nat? (Y/N)?” Bucky lifted his head from the floor, a flattened gummy beard on the other side of his cheek “Please tell me the others are back too.”

“On the contrary, Clint and Tony wanted to know if you wouldn’t mind watching the kids a little while longer.” Nat went to relieve Sam from baby duty “Tony talked to the mayor and got her to extend the quarantine curfew for their double date night.”

The three men groaned, you swore you saw a tear in Steve’s eye.

“We’re gonna die here.” Sam curled into a ball 

“Why did we agree to babysit?” Steve spoke into the stuffed penguin he held 

“Nat, maybe we should help them out.” You held Morgan tightly while she flipped upside down from your shoulders “They’re only men.”

“When the Earth spins, how do we know when we’re upside down?” Morgan poked you in the back 

“Tell you what, clean up your mess, we’ll go get in our pj’s and then I’ll tell you.” you carefully set her back down on the floor, she ran off, picking up her toys and stray snacks 

“Coop, Lila, your homework better be done, because if I have to check myself-.” Nat started. 

They jumped up from their seats and rushed out the room, Steve looked up at you and Nat in awe, Nate fast asleep in her arms.

“How did you-”

“We have a way with kids, don’t take it personally.” 

“Done!” Morgan cheered before pulling at your arm “Can we get in our pj’s now?”

Nat chuckled “Let’s go princess, (Y/N) will meet us there. You can help me get Nate ready for bed.”

Morgan took Nat’s free hand and skipped along side her. You took the stuffed animals and blankets from the guys.

“How did four children manage to out-do two super soldiers and a former air force vet?” you asked

“They’re small, but stealthy.” Sam yawned “Morgan has been asking us that spinning Earth question for hours.”

“I tried to explain how the Earth rotates but she told me I was wrong.” Bucky added

“Oh, it’s a joke. How do you know when the Earth turned upside down?” you paused, waiting for one of them to guess the answer “Fall time.”

Day 12

“What is this called again?” Thor points to Peter’s phone screen

“Twitter.” 

“Twitter? Like the sound a bird makes? Oh and there’s a symbol of a bird there.” he laughed “Humans are so creative. Tell me Son of Stark, what is Twitter’s purpose?”

“Uh.... basically you just post whatever’s on your mind.” Peter handed over his phone to Thor “Sometimes people will like it, and retweet it, or leave a comment.”

“Please tell me you didn’t make Thor a Twitter page.” You spared a glance from your book

“He asked me to show him. What’s the worse that could happen?”

One Hour Later

“Who gave Thor a Twitter page?” Steve marched into the kitchen

You immediately point to Peter.

“He wanted to know about social media. I didn’t think it’d do any harm.” Peter blurted out

“What did he do?” You asked

“He keeps posting.” Steve scrolled through the tablet in his hand “Things like ’What is black twitter?’, ‘poptarts and coffee’, ‘Just noticed how Director Fury sounds like the freeze man in this Disney movie’, ‘Over heard Natasha and Wanda judging who had the best ass. Barnes or Rogers. Clearly it’s me’ He’s trending.”

“Steve it’s harmless fun, he’s excited to be apart of Midgard culture.” you dismissed “Or are you upset because you weren’t voted for the best bum?”

“You should see his latest, and most liked, tweet.” Steve handed the tablet to you with a smirk

“‘Pretty sure (Y/N) and Barnes are dating. How else do you explain their sexual tension?’ I’m gonna kill you Parker.” You went to grab Peter but Steve pulled you away at the last second

“You don’t mean that.” Peter started to back out of the kitchen “Do you?”

“Who gave Thor a Twitter?” Bucky spoke from the other room

“I can give you a ten second head start.” Steve warns Peter

Day 15

“I can’t take this anymore, no missions, no take out, I can’t even go get a freaking smoothie.” You paced from one end of your room to the other “I thought this thing was only suppose to be two weeks.”

“Well Tony said two weeks or two months.” Bucky lounged on your bed, playing with the rubic’s cube “Looks like it’s gonna be two months.”

“How are you staying calm?”

“I remind myself murder, even attempted, is illegal. Plus I’ve been in isolation most of my adult life, so this doesn’t seem so bad.”

“Right.” you said softly “Sorry.”

“For what?”

“I’m complaining about being stuck in here, for my health when you’ve had it way worse.”

“Hey,” he caught your hand and pulled you closer “Don’t apologize, I know you didn’t mean any harm. And you tend to get cabin fever when we go on long surveillance missions. These next few days are gonna fly by, trust me.”

He trailed his hands up and down your arms, traveling to your waist and under your shirt.

“Uh-huh Barnes, not again.” you pulled away slightly “Vision and Wanda almost caught us last time.”

“Because you weren’t quiet.” he kissed up your torso

“No, because you dragged me into a linen closet for wearing shorts.”        

Bucky gave you a small pout “I’m from the 1940′s doll, I fantasized about your calves when I first met you. And that we’re... is this considered dating or are we just messing around during the lock down?”

“I hope this means we’re dating.” you combed his hair back with your fingers “I’m not the kind of girl that you hump and dump.”

“Hump and what?”

You chuckled “Nevermind.” You straddled his waist, he gripped yours a little tighter “So Sergeant, you gonna take me on a date after this quarantine?”

“I’ll take you to Rome as long as you keep calling me ‘Sergeant’ doll.” he left soft kisses on your neck

“Mmm.” 

“(Y/N).” Steve knocked on your door “Have you seen Bucky? I’m looking for him.”

“Nope, haven’t seen him.” Bucky pulled your shirt over your head, and tried to add to the bite marks he left the other day, but Steve wasn’t letting up.

“You know where he might be?”

You rolled your eyes and made Bucky stop “Have you checked the garage?”

“Why would he be in the garage?”

“Steve, pal, can it wait?” Bucky shouted “I kinda got my hands full in here.”

“Oh.” You could only imagine how red Steve’s face was at that moment. 

“You are horrible James Barnes.” you giggled

“Sergeant.” he corrected you in a low growl

“Sergeant.” you brought your lips down to his, quickly fighting for dominance in the kiss. Bucky flipped you over, the bed squeaking under your shared weight

“Uh- should I go now?” Steve asked

[angst-king]

Stuck in this Static Void pt 6

(TW: mention of hanging) Fuyumi had done her packing while Enji had been detained. She’d also found herself a place to stay that could keep her safe from Enji. She was bringing Shouto’s suitcase in to be checked to make sure she packed items that wouldn’t be taken away from Shouto. “I think all of these will pass the bag check. So are you already Shouto?” Asked the doctor, Shouto had been allowed to dress in his casual clothes once his iv’s were taken out and his arms were rebandaged. He had on jeans, a white t-shirt and a zip up jacket that was a little over sized and tennis shoes with straps no laces. Nodding, Shouto looked at his brother and sister with a small smile. They both embraced him warmly, one sibling on his left, the other on his right. “We love you so much Shouto, we will try and visit as much as we can alright.” Spoke Fuyumi who brushed her fingers through his hair. “Yeah we’ll try and find time okay, you just focus on getting better and we’ll try and find a way to keep you away from him”  Natsuo vowed while nuzzling his younger brother sweetly, Shouto replied with a quiet “Okay, just be careful..please.” He was still obviously worried for his sibling’s safety hoping his father wouldn’t seek revenge but. They all knew how ambitious Enji could be when he wanted something. “We will Shouto, we promise we’ll be careful.” Fuyumi reassures him with a loving smile as Natsuo pats his head. 

The paramedics came over with a bed ready to take Shouto. He’s helped onto the bed after his last goodbye and he’s whisked away into the ambulance that is destined for the psych ward. Taking Shouto’s bag they put it next to his gurney and strap it down to keep it from sliding around while Shouto lays on the cot. The ride is silent and it gives Shouto time to think. ‘What medications would they put me on?’ ‘Will they watch me shower….like come in the bathroom with me?’ ‘Will they be in the room while I change?’ ‘Will I have a roommate?’ ‘Will I have to talk to them? Probably not, I hope I don’t. I don’t need to make friends, I need to get in there, get better as quickly as possible and get out.’ ‘How am I gonna do classwork? I’ll fall way behind if I can’t complete my assignments.’ The more the thought the quicker time went by and soon. He was interrupted by the doors of the ambulance opening. He was helped down from the ambulance and down its small ramp. One paramedic followed him up to the door, opening it for him and letting him inside.

It looked like the waiting room of an urgent care, cream colored walls in the corner there was a desk with a nurse sitting behind it, three major hallways leading towards many others. There were chairs and small benches along the walls of the main entrance towards the front desk. Pamphlets neatly placed on small tables between the benches with small summaries of who knows what and they seem to be untouched. The paramedic who escorted Todoroki inside told him to take a seat while he went to talk to the nurse. Sitting down Todoroki relaxed into the seat, it really was setting in that he was being admitted into a psychiatric hospital. It was really setting in that he was getting away from his horrible excuse of a father, and that...he was gonna go through the same thing his mother had. But maybe he’d turn out better, maybe he’d turn out completely fine? Maybe he won't even be here that long? Maybe-Oh here comes the nurse, she walks over and kneels down a little.

“Hello you must be Todoroki Shouto, hi I’m Jitkimi, I am one of the nurses on the floor and will be taking you to your room.” Looking up at the woman who introduced herself he listened tentatively. “O-okay then” “Now I’m just going to warn you, you will have a roommate, both of you actually new to the psych ward...well your roommate has been here for a week but in a different wing. Still a doctor will come in to you both and will explain to you the rules of the psych ward and the schedules. Now why don’t we get you to your room.” She says as an invitation for the peppermint haired boy to follow her lead. Getting to his feet, Shouto nods and grabs his suitcase of items.

She guides him down a hallway that’s blue in color with various shades of the hue. As he walked he noticed many doors that were spaced out like apartments, they had the names of their patients. Five sets of doors that were opened not all the way but cracked open enough to poke your head in. Five sets down and Jitkimi stops at the sixth set of doors, she knocks on the one to her left. Even though it was partially opened she knocked which showed she had some sort of decency. “Hello Mr Midoriya, I’m coming in with your roommate.” She warns before opening the door completely.

The room was a little bit better than what Todoroki assumed it would look like.

It had two beds separated by a large cubby-like night stand with four cubbies and charging ports for devices they’d been permitted to have. On his roommate’s side there was a large window that had blinds that could be pulled by a turning stick. There are duplicates of desks, and closets, one for each person. Of course the desk had chairs and the closets weren’t huge but it's not like they’d need something too big right? The beds were plain, no back board but the base was a completely smoothed wooden bottom. The floor was a series of light blue tiles like the hallways. The bathroom door was left open and Todoroki took note of the top of the door being slanted off. He was confused as to why that was but had a feeling that he knew why.

Sitting up a boy with a mess of dark, mossy green and black hair, and sunken in matching colored eyes stared at him tiredly. He was wearing headphones that he’d slipped off his head to show he’d acknowledged the presence of Shouto and Jitkimi. Jitkimi took this as the cue to introduce the two. “Izuku, this is Todoroki Shouto. Shouto, this is Midoriya Izuku.” Izuku gives a shy wave to him, Shouto just gives a small nod to him. “Go on and get yourself settled in, the doctor should be in soon the both of you will meet with them and will talk about rules and routines and such. There are emergency call buttons around the room in case of emergencies like one of you having an anxiety attack or something…I'm gonna leave you alone now” Jitkimi says soon leaving the boys alone only closing the door a little bit still leaving it the majority open.  

Making quick work of himself he organizes his belongings, he was a little surprised to find a small tablet in the bag with a short charging cord. Still he appreciated it, and went on exploring the bathroom and deciding to keep his body products in the closet, there wasn’t anywhere to put them in the bathroom anyway. He went back to his bed and went through his suit case finding a comforter and a soft fuzzy blanket. Running his hands along the fabric, it felt so warm and inviting, he was tempted to wrap himself up in it. He was still tired, drained from his short trip here, exhausted from the weight of depression holding him down. 

Not only did he feel the weight of his depression but he also felt that someone was staring at him. He felt a pair of eyes watching his every move, and he knew there was only one person in his room. Looking up at his roommate from his position on the floor from his suitcase he catched Midoriya watching him. Todoroki delivered a glare, why was he watching him? Did he want something? Did he want to be friends or something? If so then that wouldn’t work, he wasn’t here to make friends, he was here to get better and out as soon as possible.  

“What do you want?” He asked, making the other pale a bit, the smaller was about to open his mouth but was interrupted as Todoroki got to his feet. “Look, we don’t have to talk, and we’re not going to be friends. Cause I’m not here for that. I want to just get in and get out as fast as I can. So just keep to yourself and whatever is wrong with you and I’ll keep to myself.” It came out sounding rather harsh and made Izuku freeze up, as if answering to a strict boss at work, he silently nodded. Sighing Todoroki goes back to unpacking which didn’t take long. As soon as he was done there was a knock on the door and then the doctor walked in. Todoroki’s eyes immediately darted towards him. “Hello, you must be our new patients here, Midoriya Izuku, and Todoroki Shouto?” They nod at the same time, another man comes in, he has messy black hair that is put up into a half ponytail leaving some of it down around his shoulders. He has a scar underneath his left eye lid just above his cheek bone. He’s a bit pale and his eyes held an exhausted look as if this man had hardly slept in days. His lips couldn’t hold a smile but he still had some sort of warmth to him. “Hello I’m doctor Diasuki, this is Mr Aizawa, he will be your 1-1 nurse. He will check on you during showers, nights, and during the day. You will also have another 1-1 nurse. His name is Toshinori, he isn’t here today but will be here soon.” As Dr Diasuki spoke the boys were quiet, their eyes remained on him giving him their full attention. 

“We have rules here and we have reasons for the rules especially considering you guys are on 1-1 right now. Your door must remain open, it doesn’t have to be wide open but, enough for a nurse to peek in and check. When you are going to take showers or use the bathroom, you are welcome to close the bathroom door. The only reason that door is allowed to be closed is because it does not have a lock and. That large cut out slant over there allows a staff member to be able to check in on you without having to open the door.” 

The doctor continues to explain more things, explaining that they will have a schedule to follow throughout the day. That they will have different types of therapy offered to them along with normal therapy sessions and groups. “You also will have your vitals taken daily at least three times a day. Mornings, afternoons, and nights. That will usually happen after medications are taken. Getting your vitals checked is just your basic, blood pressure test, temperature, heart and breathing check. For some it may include checking your blood sugar, weigh-ins. Though weigh-ins for those who need it, like you Midoriya will get that twice a week and as you make progress that will soon be downgraded to once a week.” Midoriya blushes as he’s pointed out but doesn’t say a word. More rules and things are explained to the boys until over the PA system a soft chiming sound rings. Midoriya jumps, seeming startled but the doctor explains. “Calm down kid, it's just the PA bell, it's dinner time right now. Come on, we'll show you to the cafeteria.” Quickly Izuku got off his bed to go with the adults while Shouto tiredly got off of bed. 

Dr Diasuki opens the door, Aizawa is the first one out with the two boys close behind him and the doctor follows suit behind them. As they walked Diasuki asked the boys questions, some both could answer, some were targeted towards them as individuals. “Midoriya, do you still have your feeding tube?” Izuku quickly answers “y-yes” “You’ve been in the ED for a week, you’re still on a liquid calorie diet?” “mhm” “Alright so I assume you know what you’re getting for dinner?” “y-yes” “That’s good, have you been put on medication yet?” “I-I...um..” Izuku was starting to get anxious about being questioned and was having a hard time getting his words out, afraid of what the reaction would be. Aizawa senses this and stops. He turns around to face the teen and says in a soft voice. “Look kid no need to get scared, now just answer the question.” Izuku just shook his head and quietly said  “Th-they haven’t y-y-yet, s-sorry.” “Hey don’t be sorry Izuku, this isn’t something you’ve done. It's not like you have any control over that. They usually aren’t this slow in medicating patients.” The doctor mutters the last part as if thinking out loud before he speaks more directly to Izuku. “If they don’t have anything prescribed to you by Sunday let someone know okay.” Todoroki was next “Also Shouto if you’re not talked to by a psychiatrist or psychologist by monday don’t hesitate to ask Aizawa or Toshinori who can see if they can get you in.” “okay, thanks''

The walk to the cafeteria wasn’t too far, and boy was it big! It looked like a large high school cafeteria filled with kids of different ages. At the front there serving stations and cafeteria assistants, nurses were scattered about to keep the chaos to a minimum. “Alright boys go ahead grab something to eat and find a table. I’ll see you around sometime.” Dr Diasuki says before leaving Aizawa with the two boys who look around. Sighing Shouta starts walking towards the serving stations. “Come on you two, lets get dinner,” Although Todoroki didn’t feel hungry at all he listened and went with Midoriya and their nurse. Waiting in line Todoroki kept his guard up in case something went down. He could see how fidgety Midoriya was, he took more notice of his features.

He was still a sickly pale color, even if he was on a liquid diet, he shouldn’t be sick looking. There were purple-is grey rings under his eyes, his tired eyes that held an anxious look in them. His lips were pasty and being nibbled on, his teeth pinning down his lower lip. The pants Izuku had on really showed how thin he was. His bony fingers grasping tightly onto the cuffs of his sweater making paws out of them. As well as the feeding tube that dangled from behind his ear and above his shoulder.

The line didn’t take too long, and soon the three of them were next in line. Midoriya knew what he needed to get, so he grabbed a bottle of juice then waited for Todoroki and Aizawa. Even seeing the food in front of him, Todoroki couldn’t feel hunger but. He knew he had to eat, so he got a couple of things to satisfy the nurse and keep concern low. They found a table and sat down together, the table was quiet as Aizawa could tell that his boys didn’t seem to be conversation makers and. This was their first day in the psych ward unit so he was rather patient. Todoroki forced down what he’d gotten for dinner, it was good but he just didn’t care. Sitting at the table without the worry of being screamed at did make him happy.   

After dinner Aizawa walks the boys out of the cafeteria and leads them down to a larger room filled with kids and teens. “This is more of a lounge area and a place to hang out during free times after meals. It's to monitor you guys in a less invasive way and allow you to interact with people. Also it keeps anorexic patients from trying to go and purge what they eat.” He states the last part bluntly making Izuku blush but he still says nothing, keeping his hands in his pockets as they walk. “You’ll only be there for maybe only thirty minutes to an hour.” Izuku nods and goes to find a place to sit, Todoroki is a little more awkward but he goes to do the same. 

Izuku sits himself on the floor, he brings his knees to his chest getting himself comfortable. The room wasn’t quiet yet it wasn’t unbearably loud. Still being around people, Izuku was on edge and uneasy. Arms wrapped to keep himself as small as possible, hoping no one were to notice him. Izuku would rather be invisible to the world than be noticed. Being noticed was never usually a good thing so keeping to himself and remaining alone should get him through this. Izuku didn’t have anything to distract himself with though, no tablet, no pencil or paper. He just sat there with a tired yet blank expression on his face. Time went by slowly, it felt like they had been there for hours when they’d only been there for a few minutes. They both just sat there, looking around and watching others interact or do the same thing they were doing, or even do their own activities. This room was orange and blue, with other colors that weren’t the main focus.There were kids playing board games, cards, or just talking, or even keeping to themselves with their own agenda. Izuku struggled to interact with people out of fear and so he’d much rather keep to himself even if he wanted friends, he knew that wish was a selfish and suicidal one. Shouto never was very social at all, he didn’t really know how to interact with kids his age after a long history of abuse. He was never allowed to play with any of the kids in school, or after school, it was focusing on studies and being Enji’s strong protege. So interacting with people was out of the question, he’d rather observe those around him besides he’s not here for friends anyway.

Todoroki noticed his roommate didn’t interact with anyone either, and he also was rather curious as to why the boy had a feeding tube and was on a liquid diet. It must be because of how skinny he was and they were trying to re-feed him without hurting him, yet. Why did he only have juice at dinner? He consumed that by mouth so why not just give him a liquid substitube drink? Why was he even thinking about his roommate’s needs, they weren’t his concerns or business. Maybe he was just bored? Well finally the time had come where Aizawa arrived and came over “hey, let's go back to your room.” He’s rather quiet but both boys can hear him, so they get up from their spot in the room and head over to Aizawa. Following the man together back to their room, back down the multicolored hallways that soon became different hues of blue once more. Blue, the color of the sky, water, blue sometimes represented sadness, it also represented freeness yet. To the boys blue was their hallway, these blue walls would be their home whether they liked it or not.

In their room Todoroki saw an IV pole next to Izuku’s bed, it held a small machine on it and next to it was a cart. Todoroki didn’t have any time to truly question this when Aizawa suddenly asked “Alright, who's taking a shower tonight?” Todoroki raised his hand, he usually took his showers during the day but he felt gross from not showering much at the medical hospital. “Alright then, Midoriya you showered this morning right?” Izuku didn’t even look at Aizawa and just nodded. Oh great Midoriya is a morning showerer too?! Another thing Todoroki and he were gonna have to deal with. Todoroki was hoping for little interaction with this guy but if they keep clashing with schedules they might have to. “Todoroki, why don’t you get into the shower take care of all your bathroom needs, then Izuku since he will shower in the morning.” Todoroki just sighed and agreed, grabbing some pajama clothes, a tooth brush, tooth paste, and hair brush, he headed to the bathroom wordlessly. 

Which left Izuku and Aizawa but well, Aizawa had to stand guard of Todoroki while he was in the bathroom. Todoroki knew the other had to somewhat ‘watch him shower’ yet Aizawa didn’t stare at him through the open door, more so he would watch the other every so few seconds before looking at Midoriya who was changing into his own Pajamas in the corner. Either way neither boy tried to do anything to harm themselves while doing either activity. The shower was special to say the least, it wasn’t a normal shower. It didn’t have a true shower head, more like a rounded spout system like shower that wasn’t very big yet did produce a good flow of water. The lack of a real shower curtain set was brought to Shouto’s attention when he accidentally took it down while getting in, the shower curtains were held up by magnets.  Hearing the clattering sound Aizawa looked over seeing an apologetic boy looking at him bashfully. “It's fine” The man sighed “you just have to push the magnets back to the ceiling….can you reach?” Aizawa asked as he stood up, yet was a little surprised that Todoroki could put the curtain back up, he wasn’t all that tall, then again the ceiling wasn’t all that high either. So now Todoroki could continue his shower, closing the curtain was rather see through for the adult who never watched for too long since he had another patient to look after.

Shouto wasn’t a person to really bask in the shower even if it felt great to see the hot water against his skin that felt so oily and gross from not being able to properly clean himself since his medical admission. The soap washing those gross disgusting feelings away would be a dream come true, yet it did wash away the sticky from the bandages during his hospital stay. When he got out, he quickly dried off and washed his face and brushed his teeth. He decided he’d brush his hair when he was in their room. He didn’t need to take up anymore of his roommates time being in the bathroom, he tried to be a considerate roommate.

When he got out, Midoirya grabbed what he needed and quickly went in. Shouta spoke to Izuku and Shouto as they continued their nightly routine, “Izuku once you’re done I’m gonna set your feeds, then I’ll check your guys' vitals.” Izuku quietly nodded and Shouto gave an “okay then” as he brushed out his wet hair. Izuku only had to brush his teeth, and wash his face. So he was done quicker than Shouto, getting out of the bathroom, he heads over to his bed and goes through one of the cubbies where his art entertainment stuff was. Sitting his stuff out onto his bed he organised everything while Aizawa got started on Izuku’s feeds. Going through the car Aizawa grabbed a feed bag, one can of meal real placement ‘drink’ and one can of electrolyte replacement. Taking off the blue seal of the feed bag, Aizawa then opens the cans and pours them into a the small feed bag, mixing them together he closes the bag and hangs it up connecting it to the small machine before priming the pump until it was ready to connect to Midoriya’s feeding tube. Once it was hooked up Aizawa adjusted the IV pole’s placement before going through the medcart and then bringing it to the between area of Shouto and Izuku’s beds. 

Mr Aizawa started checking vitals, he had everything he needed on the medcart to do it. It was like when you go to the doctor and the nurse checks you over with the thermometer, then the heart rate finger clamps, then he listens to breathing, before taking blood pressure. It was a very long process, just a little awkward seeing as they were mainly silent during this but. It was fine, there wasn’t really much to be said. Izuku did flinch a couple of times but he was okay after a little bit of reassurance. Aizawa was very patient with Izuku seeing as he seemed to have a little more difficulty with being around people than Shouto.

Once vitals were done Aizawa told the boys that lights would be out at around 10:30. It was only 9 oclock by now so this gave them free time to settle in and relax. Leaving the boys to their own devices, Izuku went back to drawing, he was using his tablet for a reference picture of something he was drawing, he seemed to be rather focused. While Shouto just played on his tablet, it had a few games on it which did preoccupy the red and white haired boy for a while but. It still wasn’t enough to last him the whole duration, yet he wasn’t all that tired. He couldn’t help but watch his roommate. He didn’t understand why his eyes always wandered towards Izuku, maybe it was because he’d never been able to be alone with someone his age and allowed to interact with someone? Maybe he wanted to talk to Izuku but he didn’t know how to? Maybe he didn’t wanna try and make friends only to find out the other would take advantage of him? Whatever the reason was, Todoroki didn’t take his eyes off of Midoriya who sketched away in his book.

Those tired emerald eyes went from the screen to the paper as his hands scribbled and flowed across the page with his pencil. Wondering what the other was drawing, Shouto was close to asking the other but, then he remembered what he’d said earlier to the boy about not having to talk to each other, and not making friends. Maybe he was being a little cold towards Izuku who hardly could say a word to anyone? But it was too late now, he may have already scared his roommate away.

[dontcare77ghj]

Kitten

Natasha x reader x Peggy x Wanda

Masterlist      Sleep Series Masterlist     Halloween/Supernatural Masterlist

“Are you still feeling unwell?” Wanda asked sympathetically, pressing the back of her hand on your forehead. You whined at her extra body heat and tried to shift away from her hand.

“Maybe we should take you to Bruce.” Peggy suggested, looking at you worriedly. “He might be able to give you something, darling.”

“No, no I don’t need to see Bruce.” You said, sitting up in bed. “I’m fine, it’s just a cold. I just need a little rest and I’ll be fine.”

“Are you sure, sweetheart?” Natasha asked, coming back into the room and handing you a glass of water and two cold and flu tablets. “Because I woke up to you at three stuck on the floor of the bathroom because you couldn’t move.”

“I sat on the floor for too long, my legs locked up, it’s normal.” You said, waving a hand at her before downing the water and pills.

“You know what I’m going to do for you?” Wanda asked, standing from the bed. “I’m going to make you some ciobra de perisoare.” She announced, leaning down to kiss you on the forehead. “My mother always made it for me, and Pietro and it always worked.” She added and left the room.

“And I’ll get you a cure of my own. A nice big shot of vodka.” Natasha said, kissing your cheek before following Wanda out of the room.

“And because I love you, I’ll help Wanda and stop Tasha.” Peggy told you with a grin and gently pushed you back down on the bed. “For now, get some sleep darling.” She said, kissing you before chasing after Natasha and Wanda. The medication kicked in quickly and you were soon fast asleep.

When you woke up the alarm was glowing 3 o’clock, and you were alone. Sitting up, you noticed a note on the pillow next to you with Peggy’s loopy script.

Y/N,

I’m sorry none of us are with you right now but unfortunately Natasha and myself are being asked to help Steve and Tony with something and Wanda had already gone out grocery shopping. There’s soup in the microwave for you and we’ll be back soon.

Get some rest, have some soup and take some more medicine.

Love you.

You smiled at the note and threw back the blankets. You slowly made your way into the kitchen and pressed two on the microwave. You turned around to sit at the kitchen table when you got lightheaded. Black spots covered your vision and you felt yourself beginning to fall.

You gasped in fright and shock as your feet left the floor. In your shock you felt yourself shift into your cat form. You landed on your feet but immediately felt white, hot, pain shoot through your body. You let out a loud screech, curled into a ball and quickly shifted back.

As soon as you shifted back, the pain stopped but you could still feel the aftermath of your burning system. You sat up and leaned against the island and let out a few deep, shuddering, breaths to calm yourself down and to settle your stomach which was now churning.

The microwave beeped and drew you back to reality. You took another breath before you forced yourself to stand, get re-dressed and then slowly moved over to the beeping device. You’d just sat down at the island when you heard the door open.

“Do you think she’s awake?” You heard Natasha ask as the door closed.

“No, I think she’s awake.” Wanda responded. “She’s in the kitchen.” She added and you knew she was smiling.

“She is the cat’s mother.” You said loudly. Seconds later Natasha, Peggy and Wanda all entered the kitchen, each holding a grocery bag.

“Hey kitten.” Wanda cooed, leaning down to kiss your forehead and then pressed her hand against your forehead. “You’re still a bit warm. Have you had any medication yet?”

“Not yet. I just got up and I just heated up the soup.” You told her, a small smile gracing your face at Wanda’s mothering instincts.

“Eat your soup, I’ll get you some medication.” Wanda said, setting her bag on the counter behind you. Peggy took the bag out of Natasha’s hands and Natasha sat next to you.

“How are you feeling, dorogoy?” Natasha asked, taking your free hand in hers.

“I’m feeling much better.” You told her, leaning over and kissing her on the cheek. “I told you I just needed some rest.” You teased the red head and turned back to your soup.

They didn’t need to know about what happened before. It was just your sickness and your abrupt shift that caused the pain, you decided. It wasn’t worth it to worry them.

It was a few days later and you were feeling much better. Your fatigue had disappeared and for majority most of your cold symptoms were completely gone as well. You hadn’t shifted again since the last time, mostly because you had become incredibly busy, but there was a part of you that was a bit worried to shift again.

You had a stack of paperwork in your arms as you walked into your section of the Avengers Compound. It needed to be done and the air conditioning in your office had crapped out, it turns out Tony was trying to fix the air conditioning the whole building and it was going to be on the fritz for a while.

Instead of sitting in the boiling hot office for a couple hours, you’d decided to just go back to your room, turn the fan on and work on your soft bed instead of your uncomfortable chair. You set the large stack of paperwork on the bed before going over to the bed and moving it closer to the bed.

You sat on the bed and turned the fan on high and that was a mistake. You thought you’d grabbed all the papers before you’d turned the fan on, you were incorrect. a few papers and files began to fly around the room. As quickly as you could you turned the fan off, but the papers were already out of order and scattered.

“Great.” You sighed, running your fingers through your hair in annoyance. You started grabbing papers and groaned when you saw a few of them stuck under the bed. If you had any other type of bed, you’d have been able to reach under or crawl under and grab them, but you didn’t have any other type of bed. The four of you had paid for a custom bed which was very large and low to the ground with bars touching the ground.

You tried for a few minutes to reach the papers, by yourself and after grabbing a couple long objects to try and reach them before huffing and sitting up.

“This is ridiculous.” You huffed. “Next time we’re not getting a low bed.” You sighed before quickly stripping down and shifting. You quickly moved under the bed and you had just grabbed the pages when you were hit with the same blinding pain you’d felt before.

A loud screech ripped out of your throat and you raced out from under the bed. The pain was so immense you weren’t immediately able to turn back. You felt your bones beginning to bend and it felt like they were all going to snap. You had to really focus to centre yourself and control the pain.

“The pain makes you human. The pain makes you human.” You thought repeatedly, each time taking a deep breath until you could focus through the pain. Once you could focus through the pain you immediately shifted back.

You rapidly looked around the room and began checking yourself over to make sure none of your bones had snapped. You let out a sigh of relief which quickly turned to panic as you clapped your hand to your mouth and rushed into the bathroom.

After what felt like hours of you relieving your stomach of any and all contents, you sat on the floor and closed your eyes.

“What is going on?” You asked yourself aloud and let out a shaky breath. You picked yourself up from the floor, flushed the evidence of what just happened, brushed your teeth and re dressed.

You were standing in the kitchen and had just poured a glass of water when a pair of arms wrapped around your waist.

“Hey sweetheart.” Natasha greeted, kissing your neck as you jumped. “Did I scare you?” She asked, a smirk in her voice.

“Just lost in my head.” You shrugged, turning in her arms and wrapping your arms around her waist. “Wasn’t paying attention.”

“What’s going on in that beautiful head of yours?” She questioned, raising a shaped brow at you.

“Just, how great my life is with the three of you.” You said, giving her a smile and kissing her check. “I love you Nat.”

“I love you too, sweetheart.” Natasha said, pecking your lips chastely. “Now, put some shoes on. We’re going out for lunch with Wanda and Peg.” She added, not giving you a choice.

“Sounds fun.” You admitted. “Give me a second.” You said and moved back into the bedroom. They didn’t need to know you were still sick.

It had been three weeks since you last shifted. You were too nervous to shift again after the last incident, but you’d put all your worries aside for tonight. It was the full moon. The one time a month the four of you set aside to run free and shed the stress of the month.

The excitement of your partners fueled your own excitement and made you push any and all worries to the side. The four of you loved full moon night and you couldn’t find yourself wanting to worry. You’d put the shifting pain down to stress and the fact you had been sick, but you were better now. Everything should be fine.

“Let’s go!” Wanda laughed, jumping onto Natasha’s back. Natasha easily caught the woman and laughed as she firmly gripped her thighs.

You and Peggy chuckled at your girlfriends as you walked behind them.

“Hurry up you two!” Natasha called, starting to run with Wanda. Wanda let out an excited shriek making you grin widely.

“You heard them, Peg.” You laughed, grabbing Peggy’s hand and spinning. “We gotta go.”

“We gotta save our tribe?” Peggy teased, kissing your cheek and then twirling you.

“Did you just make a reference? I love that.” You smiled and kissed her deeply before pulling away. “Let’s catch up to our tribe.” You smiled and dragged Peggy along as you raced after Wanda and Natasha.

The four of you made it to where you had set up the tent and easily fell into your routine. The four of you stripped and you all shifted. You felt yourself smile as you didn’t immediately feel the pain you had the past two times.

You crawled onto Natasha’s head and with that you were all off. You and Natasha had only been running for a few minutes when you began to feel weird.

“What’s wrong?” Natasha asked as you involuntarily let out a distressed noise.

“I don’t know.” You whimpered as the pain began to set in. “Nat, let me down.” You said before letting out another loud noise. Natasha helped you to the ground and that was when the pain finally kicked up to high gear.

The pain was the worst you had felt yet. Your world went white as your body contorted and a loud, piercing, screech tore its way out of your throat.

You could hear Natasha franticly asking questions and attempting to help you, but you could barely hear her words as your nervous system began to burn. Your bones began to audibly snap and it was when your back began cracking and snapping, your world went black.

Non-reader POV

Natasha had shifted back to her human form when Y/N let out her first shriek. She had been too scared to touch her, in fear of causing her more pain, and was forced to just watch as the woman, well kitten, contorted and wailed.

Natasha’s head snapped to the side as she heard thundering footsteps rushing towards her. She moved to stand in front of her vulnerable girlfriend and only relaxed when she saw it was her other partners. She turned back to Y/N and not even a second later Wanda and Peggy were next to her.

“What happened?” Wanda demanded, staring down at Y/N and flinching as she heard bones breaking.

“I don’t know!” Natasha exclaimed, cracking her knuckles as she fretted. “I don’t know. We were running like normal and then she let out this noise like she was in pain. She asked me to be let down and the second she touched the ground she started screaming and now her bones are breaking!”

“Tasha, breathe.” Peggy ordered, grabbing Natasha by the shoulders and making her look at her. “You cannot help Y/N if you work yourself up.” Natasha nodded and took a few deep breaths.

The three women’s heads all snapped towards the woman as they heard the loudest crack of the evening. Y/N had stopped moving but had not shifted back. Natasha’s eyes widened, Wanda looked and shocked and Peggy was very unsure of what happened.

“What the?” 

 Reader POV

You could tell you were no longer in the forest when you awoke. The bed below you was soft but the sheets felt slightly papery and crinkled loudly as you shifted. You were in the infirmary.

You inhaled deeply as your eyes opened, the bright white ceiling above you nearly blinding you. You let out a soft grunt as you attempted to sit up only to be pushed back down.

“Dorogoy lay back down.” Natasha said firmly, hands resting on your shoulders. “Peg, can you go get Bruce?”

“Of course.” She replied from your side. Turning your head to look at her you noticed just how tired she appeared. She leaned over to kiss your cheek before leaving the room.

“How are you feeling?” Wanda asked from your other side. She sat next to Natasha and took your hand in hers, you noted they both looked tired too.

“Sore.” You murmured. “And gross. What happened?” You asked, turning slightly towards your girlfriends.

Before either could answer Peggy returned with Bruce who gave you a small smile as he stood at the end of the bed.

“How are you feeling Y/N?” He asked kindly. 

“Sore.” You repeated with a grimace.

“That’s to be expected. Minus some fatigue you’re going to be just fine. You can go home soon and I’ve got some medications for you to take.” Bruce told you.

“But what about when I passed out? What happened?” You pressed feeling annoyed at the lack of answers.

“I’ll leave that to these three.” Bruce said. “I’ll just go get your medications while they explain it to you.” He added and left the room.

“Who’s going to explain?” You asked, looking at the three next to you.

“First we’ve got a couple questions.” Natasha said, narrowing her eyes slightly. “How long was the pain going on for?” She asked, making you look down.

“Almost a month.” You said. “But I only shifted three times to feel it.” You quickly added before any of the women could respond. “Please don’t be mad with me.”

“Y/N we’re not mad, we’re just extremely worried. You have no idea how it felt to see you screaming in pain and not know what to do.” Wanda said, squeezing your hand. Natasha and Peggy nodded at her statement.

“Why didn’t you tell us?” Peggy asked, sitting on the edge of the bed.

“The first two times I just thought it was a side effect of stress and being sick. I didn’t think much of it and I didn’t want to worry you for nothing.” You explained, the blanket suddenly becoming very interesting. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, I just didn’t want to worry anyone.”

“Oh dorogoy.” Natasha muttered, leaning over to kiss you sweetly.  “We love you and that’s why we worry. It’s because we don’t want to see you hurt.”

“Speaking of, can someone please tell me why I couldn’t shift?” You pleaded.

“Well after you passed out you changed.” Wanda said. “Your form is different. It’s older.”

“What do you mean older?”

“You know we estimated you were around a six week old kitten. Well now your form is much closer to that of a six month old.” Wanda explained.

“Why would it change now? And why so drastically?” You asked, feeling very confused.

“Well there’s actually a rather simple explanation for that, darling.” Peggy said with a smile. “Do you remember what we did two monthss ago?”

“Of course I do.” You said. “But what does that have to do-?” You began to question her but stopped in realization. “Are you saying it took?”

“It took.” Natasha announced with a large grin. “Bruce says your about eight weeks along and that he believes your other form had to change so it would be able to carry a kitten.” She added, grin widening.

“Holy shit.” You breathed, eyes stinging with tears. “We’re going to have a kitten. We’re going to have a baby.” You cheered, Peggy pulling you into her arms.

Natasha and Wanda joined the two of you on the bed and the four of you sat together and held each other for a few minutes. You all had tears in your eyes but they were good tears.

“I love you. I love the three of you so much. We’re going to be parents.” You said, before kissing each of them.

“We love you too kitten.” Wanda said, holding you close to her. “But I hope you know now that you’re pregnant, you have to tell us if you’re sick or injured or anything.” She said, Peggy and Natasha nodding in agreeance. 

Seven months later the four of you became proud parents to a healthy, human, baby boy. It was seven months of three hovering, panicky, partners but it was all worth it as you all got to hold your son.

Taglist

@piper-koko-barnes-rogers @skeletoresinthebasement @hopingforbarnes

Show your support. Give it a like. Leave a comment. Share with your friends and reblog. Inbox/Message me any comments, ideas, pairings, if you would like to be added to the taglist or if you would just like to talk.

Coming soon;

Natasha x reader x Bucky

Steve x reader x Bucky

Bucky x reader x Sam

Natasha x reader x Sam

Steve x reader x Sam

Steve x reader x Sam x Bucky

Natasha x reader x Bruce

Bruce x reader x Thor

[blu-joons]

BTS Reaction: Taking Care Of Him When He’s Ill

Jin:

A yawn escaped from him as you turned to face him, cupping the side of his face gently. “You look like that nap did you a little bit of good Jin.”

He smiled, nodding his head against your hand. “It felt good to be able to rest my eyes properly and get a bit of sleep in me, I’ve not slept for such a long time.”

“It was nice to see you asleep, you’ve had too many restless nights recently,” you commented, smiling as you noticed a small spark in his eyes for the first time in almost a week.

“My body is still sore though, and my head still has a bit of an ache,” he told you, pouting across at you, “it’s nowhere near as bad as it was the other the day though, which is a start.”

You nodded, it was hard seeing him without his usual mojo, so ill and weak beside you. “In a few days you’ll be back to your usual self, just let me look after you for now.”

“I will,” he grinned, trying to stop his eyelids from fluttering shut once again as sleep still threatened. “Do you mind if maybe I close my eyes for a few more minutes?”

“Not at all, it’s nice for me to see you so relaxed and peaceful Jin.”

“Thank you,” he hummed, taking a hold of your hand, squeezing it gently. “Will you stay here with me? I like waking up with you next to me.”

“I’ll be right here, waiting for you to wake up.”

Yoongi:

Your whole night of sleep had been disturbed by Yoongi beside you, he’d been tossing and turning all night long, sighing heavily to himself. “Yoongi, what’s wrong?”

“Oh,” he muttered, realising that you were awake beside him. “I’m just not feeling so good, I didn’t mean to wake you up,” he whispered, as you turned around to face him.

“Is there anything I can do to help you?” You asked, as he shook his head. You frowned, wrapping your arm loosely around his waist, feeling how hot he was. “You’ve got a bad temperature.”

He sighed, “if I sleep with the duvet, I’m too hot, sleep without it, I’m too cold, I simply can’t win,” he vented, leaning closer into your body.

You were stuck with what to do, you’d never seen him so ill before. “Maybe you need to get rid of the duvet and sleep with a blanket instead, it’s easier to cool you down with.”

“I don’t want to disturb you, you need the duvet,” he pointed out, throwing it back over you as you tried to remove it from the two of you. “I’ll be fine in a short while.”

“You’re not fine, stop being so stubborn. I’m happy with the blanket.”

“You’re too good to me sometimes,” he whispered, as you stood up, swapping the bedding for the two of you, “do you want me to sleep in the spare room instead?”

“You’re staying right here where I can see you.”

Hoseok:

Your heart sunk at the sound of retching coming from the bathroom, you walked over, peering through the gap in the door. “Sunshine, you alright in here?” You asked him.

He looked up at you from beside the toilet, shrugging his shoulders. “I knew the food was dodgy in the restaurant when I ate it earlier, clearly it doesn’t sit well.”

“I’m sorry,” you frowned, walking across to sit beside him, resting your hand onto his thigh. “Just take all the time you need, and we can sort this all out when you’re sorted.”

“Thank you,” he muttered, throwing his head back to try and get rid of the horrific feeling of sick that he was suffering from.

You rested your hand onto his forehead, making sure that he wasn’t too hot either. “Maybe it would be good for you not to head to the studio tomorrow, you don’t want to make things worse.”

“I can’t let the boys down, they’ll be expecting me there,” he told you, but your head shook back at him, “Y/N, I’ll feel fine in a moment.”

“I’m not taking no for an answer, you’re staying here tomorrow, regardless.”

“You worry too much,” he giggled, turning to face you, covering his mouth with his hand. “But I’ll stay here tomorrow, if you promise to look after me.”

“Of course, I will look after you Hobi.”

Namjoon:

You unlocked the door finding Namjoon laid out on the sofa, you frowned, not expecting him home so soon. “Keep your distance jagi, I’m not feeling too good right now.”

Naturally, you took a step back, watching as he sat up so that he could look across at you. “You were alright this morning when you went to work, what’s happened?”

“I don’t know, things have just got progressively worse through the day at the studio, the boys decided it was best for me to head home,” he spoke, coughing several times.

“I’ll see if I can find some bits in the cupboard to make you feel better,” you told him, walking into the kitchen, grabbing all the cough medicine that you could find.

He smiled weakly, holding his waist where his aches were when you walked back in. “You’ve had a long day at work, you don’t need to worry about me.”

“I’m going to worry when you’re not well,” you sighed, handing him some tablets and a glass of water, “I don’t like seeing you when you’re not feeling good.”

“I’ll be fine in a bit, now that I’ve got you here to look after me.”

“I’ll get on with tea, just call me if you need anything,” you shouted through, walking back into the kitchen, “try and get some sleep as well Joon whilst I cook.”

“You’re the best sometimes, I think I’ll be alright.”

Jimin:

His frame stirred, looking around as he found himself laid out in the living room, he had no recollection of what had happened, or why he was on the floor. “Hey.”

“Hey,” he mumbled back across at you, scratching the top of his head. “Why am I on the floor Y/N? I don’t remember laying down here or anything.”

“You fainted,” you informed him, brushing his hair out of the front of his face, “you’ve been too ill and not taking care of yourself, and now this happened.”

His eyes shut, he felt terrible that he’d allowed himself to get that way. “Sorry that you had to deal with this,” he told you, smiling weakly up at you.

“You don’t need to apologise, I just want you to realise that you need to take a step back and look after yourself,” you told him, watching as he nodded his head back at you.

“I thought if I pretended, I wasn’t ill then it would just go away, not cause this to happen,” he groaned, reaching out for your hand to hold.

“Sometimes you just need to take some time to look after yourself.”

“I know,” he sighed, “and I will do that now, I need to get better so I can go back to work,” he told you, clearing his throat loudly.

“You can start by staying home for now.”

Taehyung:

His eyes watched the door to your bedroom open, you were still in your work uniform, smiling across at him. “Feeling any better?” You asked, sitting on the end of the bed.

His shoulders shrugged, patting the space on the beside him, “I’m still feeling really bad, but a bit better than this morning, but that’s not much.”

“Is there anything I can get you now that I’m home?” You asked, but his head shook. Your eyes looked around the room, “you’ve not eaten all day, you need to try and eat something, it might make you feel better.”

“Maybe I could do with a little something,” he hummed, running his hands over his face and through his messy strands of hair.

You nodded, standing up from the sofa, smiling down at him. “I’ll see what I can find downstairs in the kitchen, they’ll be some recipes online for good foods for sickness.”

“Don’t do much, you’ve probably had a long day at work,” he called out, but your shoulders shrugged, your priority was making sure that he was better.

“Just lay there, and I’ll be back soon you don’t need to worry about me.”

“You’re too good,” he smiled, pulling the duvet tighter around his limp frame, “I’ll wait here for you to come back, make sure that you get some food for yourself too whilst there.”

“I will, I’ll come back, and we can eat together.”

Jungkook:

You tiptoed up the stairs, finding him wide awake, smiling across at you as you walked into the bedroom. “You were supposed to be asleep,” you chuckled.

He smiled, “I was for a while, but then I needed to sneeze, and everything just fell apart.” He sat up, taking the mug of tea that you’d made for him to try and help him feel better.

“Has the sleep made you feel better?” You asked, perching on the end of his bed. “I have to say you look a bit better, your eyes have got a bit of a spark back in them.”

“It was a good sleep, until I had to bloody sneeze,” he groaned, rolling his eyes. You chuckled back at him, straightening the blanket that he had around himself.

“Hopefully, you’ll be able to get some sleep again soon,” you encouraged, resting your hands around his ankles, “sleep is obviously doing you a lot of good.”

He hummed, “and the fact I’ve got you here to look after me, you’ve been amazing over the past few days, even when I have been really annoying and irritable.”

“It’s no bother for me, I just want to make sure that you get better.”

“You’ve gone above and beyond,” he pointed out, “all these little things really do help me to feel more like myself,” he spoke, raising his mug of tea in the air.

“I’m just glad I can make you feel a bit better.”

---

Masterlist

[bewareofchris]

Public Relations 25/??

R atm | Alec Hardy/Dr. Bill Masters | Broadchurch, Masters of Sex | Strong language, eventual sexual situations

“The fact that Alec Hardy was not currently, had not ever, and did not want to date the American sex research did not seem very important at all to the town of Broadchurch.  They did what they had always done with a little bit of juicy gossip: they made a spectacle of it.”

AO3 Link | From this part on, the posts should line up with the chapters posted on AO3.  This “part” is 25 here but it will be Chapter 9 on AO3.

Betty had a peculiar way of simply existing in spaces that she hadn’t been present in a moment ago.  Bill had only just looked down at the growing stack of papers awaiting his attention for a single moment.  Just barely long enough to lift up the first resume on the massive stack of possible assistants before he dropped it again and fell back into his chair in defeat.

“Hard day?” Betty asked as if she’d been there since he walked in.  As if she hadn’t just materialized there with a tablet resting in the crook of her arm as she eyed him with some dismay.  

He gasped, “Betty!” Because she surprised him.  But he just glared hatefully at the pile of resumes because there was no defense for his desperate disinterest in going through them.  “I assume you’re here on official business.”

“Sure am,” she assured him, “but, in this case, I was sent by my real boss.  My wife.”  She nodded her head in that way that assumed he understood.  And then she cleared her throat to go ahead with, “well, she’s decided that we’re inviting you to Christmas dinner.  I don’t know what’s happening with your family, or if you’ve got someplace else you’d rather be.  But if your only options are eating some uninspired ham steaks and pre packaged mashed potatoes with a couple of lesbians or sitting alone in your apartment waiting for a text from your overseas lover boy, well--”  

“I don’t have a lover boy.”

“You can always eat the ham at our house and wait on the texts.  And sing carols with us.  We might even make a stocking for you.”

Bill had not even gone through the pretense of purchasing a Christmas tree for his poorly furnished little apartment.  He hadn’t turned on the radio in his car in weeks for fear of having to listen to the same merry songs over and over again.  Christmas had only ever been something that wound up his guts into a fist of apprehension.  Libby had been filled from top to toes with warm memories of long holiday seasons with her family.  She hummed carols as she hung stockings and she laid against his side daydreaming about little fat babies to make her Christmad dreams come true.

But Bill’s memory of Christmas was an echo of every other day.  His Mother made some attempt, and they assembled for dinner like waiting for a bomb to explode.  Father was unforgiving and Mother was skittish.  The only presents Bill remembered receiving were black eyes and bruises.

And yet, every year, he’d been sent out into the world with this expectation that he must know how to choose a gift worth giving.  He’d suffered through all the Christmas movies, he’d listened to all the chatter.  He’d received more than his share of gifts from thankful families and co-workers and friends.  And still, he stood in department stores like an idiot, hoping to be saved by someone who took pity on men who barely had an idea of what they were doing there.

“Oh,” he said when the silence had dragged too long and Betty’s amusement had started softening to real concern.  “I--uh, that’s very thoughtful of you, Betty.”

“So I’ll tell her to expect you.”  Betty wasn’t asking him.  She wasn’t even letting him work out how to turn her down.  No, she was looking at him the way she had when she handed him a coat and a plane ticket.  There would be no arguing with her.  “We shouldn’t disappoint Helen right now.  She needs to be in top condition for conceiving.”

“Right,” he agreed.  “Right.  We can’t upset Helen.”  He cleared his throat, “should I bring anything?  What should I bring--I…  Libby usually handled these things.”

“Baby steps, boss.  Bring some wine and yourself.  We’ll take care of the rest.”  Then she smiled at him (or tried her best) and turned with a swish of her skirt.  She pulled the door closed behind her and lingered for just a breath before she walked away.

--

His primary consolation was that, while this had been a stupid idea, at least it had not been his stupid idea.  A lucky follow up was how the aisle was filled with other similarly lost looking individuals staring at a selection of brightly colored baby toys without any clue which would be the best gift.  At least Hardy didn’t have to look like an idiot by himself.  

All of the boxes seemed to offer some guidance as to the appropriateness to the age of the child.  Fred was a baby, but his exact age was unknown.  He was old enough to stand up on his own but he wasn’t old enough to talk.  (And it had been a very long time since Daisy had learned to talk.  So long ago now that he didn’t remember when it happened.)  Still, that wasn’t as big a problem as the fact that he couldn’t begin to guess what sort of color, character or type Fred would prefer.

(He seemed to very much enjoy knocking over block towers.  And sucking his thumb.)

Hardy had never bought a gift for another person’s child, but he also felt as if some consideration was meant to be given for what Miller would prefer.  

Surely, nobody had ever gone wrong with buying brightly colored, age-appropriate cars for a child?  That’s what he’d been telling himself when he picked the box up.  He just had been failing to believe it for the past five minutes or so.  Because there were also dinosaurs that roared and trains and blocks made noises when you stacked them.  And electronic toys that promised to teach letters and numbers.  

An educational gift seemed ideal, unless it implied that he didn’t feel like Miller was educating her child appropriately.  

Hardy was still holding the cars in one hand as he dug his phone out of his pocket.  He stared at his sparse contact list as he tried to work out who he could call for help.  Miller was an obvious choice but he didn’t want to make her uncomfortable.  (They hadn’t, after all, discussed anything at all about exchanging gifts or the impending holiday.)  It was too early to call Bill (and he was useless anyway).  Daisy would be at school.  He sighed at himself, and the toys, and his phone, and the world, but he still tapped on Tess’ name.

She answered on the third ring, sounding almost amused enough to cover her confusion.  “Should I feel special?”

“How should I know?” Hardy answered, and he squeezed his eyes shut at the flutter of his heart beat getting light and flighty.  He cleared his throat, “I was calling for advice about a kid’s present.”

“Ok,” Tess said, “whose kid?”

“A co-worker’s.”

“A lady co-worker?”

“Tess,” Hardy said.  He opened his eyes and dropped the box he’d been holding back on the shelf.  “If you can’t help…”

“Calm down, Alec.  Boy or girl?  How old?”  

The conversation was so polite it was almost professional.  Tess directed him to fat little cars that made noises and came with track pieces.  And when that gift had been secured, her voice was soft when she said, “this might be the most civil conversation we’ve had in years, Alec.  It’s nice to hear you sound almost happy.”

Hardy was resting one arm against a shelf, frowning sideways at nothing at all, thinking terrible-and-unkind things about his wife.  He could have said nothing at all, but he said, “I’ve been happy, Tess.  You just don’t get to know about it.”  

Her silence was shock.

“Thank you for your help,” he said when he couldn’t take the sound of her breathing one more second.  He hung up before she recovered; his body felt flushed hot and he took a minute to steady himself before he trusted his feet to carry him.

--

Bill was making dinner, and Alec was staying up very-very late.  

“What have you been eating?” was Alec’s voice wrapped up in a blanket on his bed.  It was shadowed in the after-midnight dark; just now starting to get heavy with sleepiness.  “Microwave food?”

“I haven’t had to cook for myself in a very long time.  And besides,” he said, off to the side of the stove, where his phone was propped up on a glass container.  “It’s oddly difficult to make enough food for just one person.  I don’t even know how to shop.  I bought six chicken breasts when I went to the store, what am I going to do with six chicken breasts?”

“Eat six meals?”

“The only food packaged with a single person in mind is microwave meals.”

Alec made a noise like a wheeze, a snort of disbelief, and disapproval and amusement all at once.  His voice was stretching and settling into a new place as he said, “and you call yourself a doctor.”

“Yes yes.”  Bill moved the pan off the hot burner and picked his phone up to take it off speakerphone.  Their conversation was yawning itself to a close and there was something far more fulfilling about talking quietly into the phone.  “You don’t have to stay up so late,” he said.

“I know I don’t,” Alec agreed.  He was quiet, like thinking very carefully about what he wanted to say next.

“Betty said you were my lover boy,” he tried to make it sound like it had been funny.  He tried to make it a tease, like it was every bit as silly of her to think such a thing as the people from Broadchurch had been to think they were a couple.  It had been funny at the start, when they were building a friendship off appreciation for how silly it was.  

But here they were, breathing into a phone call where neither of them wanted to talk first.  Here they were with phones full of long text messages and half-whispered admissions.  Here he was, with his heartbeat pounding in his chest, biting his lip, hoping and not hoping all at once for some kind of reaction that--

What?

What the hell did he want?

What the hell was he even doing?

Waiting on a man from Broadchurch to tell him that maybe Betty had a point.  That maybe if you woke up looking for a message from the man, and fell asleep thinking about what you’d talk about tomorrow, and stole moments from your day to escape into the ease of another nonsense conversation with him.

Alec’s sigh was almost wounded.  He said, “tell me something.  Something that you couldn’t tell your wife.”

Bill was staring at his socked feet and his floor that desperately needed to be swept.  He was churning over a thousand different things in his head, all the ugliest secrets he’d ever kept.  He was wondering what sort of test this could possibly be, and how terrified he suddenly found himself to be.  He said, “I never loved Libby.  Before I met her, I…  I was in love.  I loved her and I thought, I thought she loved me but I wrote her a note asking her to marry me and…”  His throat was squeezing his words out of shape, his face was filling up with heat.  Bill pressed a hand across his mouth and then cleared his throat.  “It didn’t work out.  And I married Libby because I needed a wife and I thought I liked her well enough.”

The silence stretched, and the quiet moved through the phone.  Alec must have been pushing himself up to sit on the bed.  He said, “did you love Virginia?”

“Yes,” Bill whispered, “but I wasn’t kind to her.”

“I loved my wife,” Alec said, “and that wasn’t enough for her.  I don’t want to not be enough for someone again.”

“I want to be happy with someone. I want to know that I’m loved, I want them to know that I love them,” Bill said, because he couldn’t say that he didn’t want to be here.  He didn’t want this lonely little apartment.  He didn’t want the office waiting for me at his job.  He didn’t want any of the things he’d spent his whole life trying to get.  Whatever they had meant to him before, whatever franticness had driven him to such heights all these years, it wasn’t in him anymore.  

It was stupid, to be standing in his kitchen, hoping that a man an ocean away from him would understand.  

Alec said, “don’t make it sound so impossible, Bill.  You can have that if you work for it.”

Maybe it was how late it was where Alec was.  Or maybe it was how lonely Bill felt just then, but those words sounded almost like a promise.

Then Alec said, “go to Betty’s for Christmas.  It’ll be better than being alone.  And go eat your dinner, the food’s got to be cold by now.”

“Yeah,” Bill agreed.

“Tomorrow, we’ve got to have an earlier call.  It’s one in the morning.”

Bill snorted.  “Sleep well, Alec.”

“Enjoy your dinner,” Alec said.  

They were idiots on the phone, wasting seconds, waiting and waiting to see if they had to be the first one to hang up.  Bill moved first, because just then he wasn’t sure he could bear to hear the sound of the call disconnecting from the other end.  He stood in his kitchen, feeling like his skin had been peeled away from his flesh, with something like a flicker of hope resting firmly in his chest.

--

Hardy woke up like a man with a hangover.  The night before had been no less full of rash decisions just because it lacked enough alcohol to justify them.  His body felt no less abused.  Exhaustion settled into his limbs like filling all his insides up with warm sand.  The morning sun mocked him through the window as he lay on his back, searching for some sense of purpose big enough to drag him out of his bed.

Sitting no more than an arm’s distance away was the instrument of his own stupidity.  (Just the memory of it made him press both his hands to his face with a groan that shook through his whole body.)  The boldness of asking Bill for secrets he’d never shared with anyone else.  The agony of laying in this very bed with both his hands wrapped around the phone, waiting for a response he had no right to expect.

But he’d gotten one.

Oh hell.  

Staying beneath the blankets, far from the phone and all the damage it could inflict on his well-being, seemed like the only good, logical decision that could be made.  A smart man would have walked away, but Hardy was a shaky, weak-hearted sort.  He grabbed the phone almost as soon as he’d decided he shouldn’t, and there was a text waiting for him.

Bill had sent it before bed, and all it said was: Good morning, Alec.

The text could have said anything at all and Hardy would have smiled.  It was a response made of reflex, a steadily growing expectation that was as essential to the mood of his morning as a good cup of tea.  It held him over through the morning quiet as he went about the mundane activities of his life.  Just when the softness of a good morning text was waning, Bill showed up with a complaint about his coffee, or his office, or the unnecessary (his words) amount of paperwork waiting for him.  

With the way they were carrying on, late evening phone calls were going to become as much a part of his day as good morning texts.  He was going to rearrange dinner and bedtime to make a space to answer the phone to the slowly brightening sound of Bill Masters fumbling his way into a conversation.  It was a wonder how a man could dial a phone, and wait for it to ring and breathe hello across the ocean and still have no idea what you meant to say.  But Hardy did understand why it didn’t matter to him if they talked about the mind-numbing nothings of a day, or exchanged dinner plans, or their least favorite holiday songs.  Hardy would have had a conversation about anything at all--

His boldness was self-preservation because he knew.  He’d been here before, spending all his time waiting on texts and phone calls.  Falling asleep and waking up thinking about what he was going to say the next time.  Taking showers without washing his hair, replaying all the words on repeat.

Hardy had to live withe answers he’d been given now.  He had to accept life in the aftermath because Bill had barely taken a full minute to come up with an answer, almost exactly like a promise.  

So he was an idiot, falling in love with a man he had no hope of being with, smiling at his phone as he typed out: Good morning, Bill.

--

Bill was wearing the lab coat because he’d convinced himself that he was going to do something like real work today.  There was enough of it waiting to be attended to that he shouldn’t have had trouble finding something to throw himself into.  He’d convinced himself that it would be better than sorting through resumes, but that had been well over a half an hour ago and all he’d managed to do was find himself staring at the nicely-made bad in the observation room.

His head was full of thoughts that he couldn’t quite hear.  It was a peculiar feeling to be caught inside your own body, knowing something was going on, and being just out of earshot of your own emotions.  (Or not.  Maybe Bill felt plenty.  It was the ideas he couldn’t get a grip on.)

“Bill.”  Virginia was standing in the doorway, one hand resting against the frame and the other behind her back.  Her voice was as soft as flower petals; her face as gentle as early-morning sunshine.  

“Virginia.”  He didn’t even have a pretense of being caught preparing because he hadn’t even made it as far as pulling a chair out.  The most he’d done was turn on a light.  They’d built this room to contain any noise and it covered the space around them cotton, sealing away all the world around them.  

“I appreciate that you’ve gone out of your way to make my return as smooth as possible,” she said.  “I just wonder if…  How are you?”

Oh, he was thinking about a beautiful woman named Dody that had whispered his name from kiss-pinked lips like she loved him.  He was wondering where she was, and why he hadn’t been enough for her.  

Is that what he was wondering?

That’s what Alec had said.  That he had loved his wife, and he hadn’t been enough for her.  Bill had loved Dody like that, he had dreamed about the life they could have.  Oh hell, he’d even imagined a lovely little house, and a little dog, and when they were ready, a child with the face of the woman he loved.  He could imagine happiness in Dody’s image because it had felt possible.

Libby begged for children, and she’d gotten them in the end.  Bill had never imagined a life full of children with Libby.  He’d never dreamed of Christmas carols and little stockings by the fire.  He couldn’t imagine kissing her in the morning with an arm wound around her back.  He hadn’t even loved his children with any hope, because he had never felt that he could.

That was the sort of bastard his father had made him to be; the one that hadn’t even tried to love his own children.  And for what reason?  Because he hadn’t wanted them?  

(But didn’t he?  It had felt like heartbreak in that God-damn operating room, with the weight of his stillborn daughter in his hands.  It had felt like his soul had been ripped.  You couldn’t break a heart that couldn’t love.  He had loved Catherine.  He must have loved Johnny, and Jenny, and Howie.)

“Fine,” Bill said, “I’m doing well.  Thank you.”

“Things don’t have to be strange between us,” Virginia said.  “We’ve always been able to separate our work from other…distractions.  I hope that we’re able to find that same balance again.”

“Of course,” he cleared his throat, “right.  Of course.  I just--” he looked down at the tablet in his hand, and then at the door behind her.  “I think I’m not feeling well, if you excuse me.  I’m going to take some paperwork and go home.”

Virginia looked, if only for a moment, disappointed by him.  As if she had expected something different.  

Bill slid past her before he could get caught on wondering why she would look at him like that.  He passed Betty in the hallway, and she didn’t even try to stop him.  The most she did was frown back down the hall like she already knew what she’d find. 

But it wasn’t Virginia’s fault that Bill didn’t know what the hell he wanted.  It wasn’t her fault that he’d made this terrible situation.  It wasn’t her fault that he wanted to be anywhere in the world but here.

Impulse stopped him at the last moment.  And it felt very much like it had the night before.  When he was asked for honesty and he had barely hesitated.  It must have been all those thoughts of his, just slightly too far away to hear clearly.  He called, “Betty?”

“Yeah?” Betty was torn between following him and continuing what she had been doing.

“I’m going home for the day,” was a coward’s way out.  He didn’t look away from her trying to figure out what to say in response, so they were still staring at each other when he cleared his throat to add, “and I’d be very happy to accept your invitation.”

--

“What is that?”  Miller had barely made it in the door.  Her fingers were still reaching up to pull her scarf loose.  Even poor Fred was still bundled so tightly in his winter wear that he couldn’t quite manage to lower his arms.  

Hardy had left the gift sitting on the table by the stack of case files that they kept thinking they were going to get to.  But the white-shocked-look on Miller’s face made him think that perhaps he should have tucked it out of sight until he’d had the chance to provide some lead-in to giving it to her.  (Except that Hardy had never seen the sense in pretenses.  People wasted altogether too much time on nonsense.)  “It’s for Fred,” he said.  And it sounded immediately stupid to him.  “For Christmas.  I wasn’t sure--  If it’s inappropriat--”

“Oh shut up,” Miller said.  Her fingers were still curled into the scarf but she hadn’t managed to pull it loose yet.  The words came as one gust of breath and she jerked to the side, spinning around so she wasn’t looking at him. 

Fred looked back at his Mom and then up at Hardy.  His overstuffed coat sleeves were keeping his arms straight out to the sides but he raised them vaguely toward him.  “Off,” the boy said to him.  (Or might have been up.)  

Hardy could have taken the boy’s coat off but he couldn’t be sure that Miller was going to stay.  As much trouble as he appeared to be in, it would just be made worse by removing the coat of a small child that most likely wouldn’t want it put back on.  “Miller,” he said.

“Shut up,” Miller repeated but her voice was tight and wet.  She turned back to look at him as she wiped at the tears gathering at the edges of her eyes.  “What do you think you’re doing?”

There he was, a fully grown man, ducking his head because the truth was that he didn’t know what he thought he was doing.  “That’s what friends do, isn’t it?  You’ve got a kid and we’re friends, and that means I buy him a present and--”

“Oh, shut up,” Miller shouted at him.  She was scrubbing fresh tears from her eyes with greater aggravation.  Poor Fred, who had really reached the end of his ability to be held prisoner in his coat, started crying at the sharpness in her voice.  Miller pulled her own scarf off before she crouched down to release the boy and kiss his distressed little forehead.  

“I can take it back,” Hardy offered.

“Don’t you dare,” Miller snapped.  She dropped Fred’s coat on the back of his little couch and pulled her own coat off.  “I don’t think Tom’s coming home for Christmas.  He says that he needs space and he feels happier when he’s not around me.  He says he didn’t want to leave Broadchurch and he doesn’t want to be punished because of me.”  

Hardy was miserable with comfort, standing there without any ability to offer anything that might make the thick-wet pain in Miller’s voice even slightly more bearable.

“I didn’t do this, did I?  I didn’t murder a boy.  I didn’t make us pariahs in our own home.  I didn’t--  I haven’t even put up a tree.  Fred’s too young to care.  I haven’t even thought about making dinner.  I didn’t even wrap any gifts.  I don’t…  I didn’t think I could stand it.”

Hardy looked over at the little boy dragging his box of blocks off the bottom of a low shelf.  “We could get a tree,” Hardy said.  “I haven’t gotten one because--  What’s the point?  Daisy’s visiting her Grandparents with her Mom.  I won’t get to see her until New Years, if she agrees to see me at all.  We could…”  He shrugged, “we could eat.  Let Fred open his gifts.”

Miller was shaking her head at him.  “You’re a bastard,” she said.  And then she cleared her throat again.  “Look at me, I’m a mess.  I’m going to make myself presentable.  And then we’ll talk about trees and dinner and…”  She moved like she was going toward the bathroom but she lurched back and dragged Hardy into a hug.

He was too shocked to do more than stand there, and it didn’t seem to matter if he reciprocated or not.  She held on a matter of seconds and then let go to retreat to the bathroom.  Hardy was left standing there, looking at the empty space where Miller had been until Fred climbed onto the back of the couch to grab his hand.

“Blocks,” the boy said to him.

They were building their sixth tower before Miller came back out, and when she did, her composure was a worn-thin cover barely hiding her pink-tipped nose.  She didn’t bother to touch the case files, just came around the couch to sit on the floor with them.  “If you were sincere, and you weren’t just offering because I was making a scene, we’d be very happy to have Christmas here with you.”

Hardy nodded, and Miller reached out to wrap an arm around Fred and drag him back up against her body.  She kissed his fluffy hair as he wriggled to be free enough to kick over the block tower.  “You’ll have to do the cooking if you want something edible,” Hardy said.

Miller snorted.  “We’ll split it down the middle.  Joe always made Christmas dinner.”

“We can buy premade,” Hardy suggested.

They were idiots, trying to find something like happiness, smiling at nothing.

--

Betty opened the door with a jerk that made the knob rattle.  He’d expected some level of formal attire; most likely something very similar to what they frequently wore to work.  But Betty was wearing a baggy T-shirt over a pair of leggings patterned with Christmas tree lights.  Her hair was pulled away from her face by a wide-black headband and she smiled at him with fondness that had no name.

“Oh,” Bill said.  He was wearing a tie and carrying a bottle of wine (as directed).  “Did I come at the wrong time?”

“Is that the pizz--oh.”  Helen was all smiles in baggy fleece pajamas zipped from her waist to her neck.  She had a fist full of cash and an almost embarrassed smile.  “Hello Dr. Masters.”

“Just Bill will do,” Betty said.  She opened the door as wide as she could and motioned for him to step inside.  “No, you came at the right time, boss.  We just decided that we’d take it easy on you this year.  We ordered pizza, we bought beer and we’re going to watch Christmas movies.”

“Betty.”  He didn’t step inside because he was wearing a suit.  He was wearing a tie.  He was holding a bottle of wine that certainly cost more than all the pizza and beer combined.  There was every indication available that he didn’t belong here.  He’d misunderstood the invitation, and he wouldn’t fit.  “I think it’s best if I just…”

“Look,” Betty said as she leaned against the door.  “No offense to your fancy education and all, boss but I think you might be the least qualified person standing in this doorway to decide what is and isn’t in your own best interest.  Now, I thought something like this would happen so I took the liberty of making sure we had some pajamas in your size.”  

“No, really, I think…”  He took a step back and Helen turned in an awkward circle on her heels to duck back through the doorway she’d come through.  

Betty slid forward, so she close enough she could grab him by the hand if she wanted.  She was leaning against the door jamb, giving him just enough space to make a run for it.  “I’m offering you a night of pizza, beer, pajamas and no expectations.  Nobody wants to be alone on Christmas, not even you.  And besides,” was a light and happy tilt to her voice, “they’re great pajamas.  You can send a selfie to your Scottish sweetheart.”

“He’s not…”

But Betty just hiked up an eyebrow at him, daring him to finish the sentence.  She was daring him to call her a liar, and he just couldn’t find the words for it.

“Well,” he shifted on his feet, “I brought wine.”

Betty’s smile was beautiful, and it glowed like the sun.  (And he thought, like an answer to all those things that he couldn’t quite figure out, that this is what love must look like.  Love at it’s most sincere, and least selfish.  Because Betty had nothing to gain from loving him, and still she dragged him into her home just so he wouldn’t be alone.)

--

Fred fell asleep first, face down in the left over bits of wrapping paper with his fingers curled around one of the noisy little cars Hardy had bought him.  He was still wearing the pajamas he’d woken up in and the little white stars caught the twinkle of the Christmas tree lights.  

“God, I wish I could fall asleep anywhere like that,” Miller said.  She was curled up on the edge of the couch, sipping another mug of just enough eggnog to be an excuse for the alcohol she’d put in it.  “Do you remember what it was like to be that unbothered by everything?”

Hardy snorted.  “Does anyone?”

They’d had a slow-and-lazy day, drifting through every emotion a human could feel in a day.  The morning had started later than he remembered any Christmas involving Daisy had.  Fred had found the gifts by the tree, but he was happy enough to get something to eat before he tore into them.  Miller had spent an hour in the bathroom crying her eyes out, and they’d put together race tracks and installed batteries until all the toys finally worked.  

They’d eaten lunch while they watched kids cartoons off a laptop.

“You’re a pretty good guy, Alec Hardy,” Miller said because she’d had just enough alcohol to make her think the words were a good idea.  “Still a shitface.  I don’t think I’ve ever seen you smile--well, I saw you smile, but you didn’t smile at me.  You were smiling at your phone.”

Alec was smiling at a stupid picture of Bill Masters wearing fluffy gray pajamas and an elf hat, squished between two smiling women on a small couch.  He was smiling because Bill was smiling, even if it was twinged with embarrassment.  “I smile,” he said, “when there’s something to be smiling about.  What have I got to smile about?  My heart is trying to kill me.  I can’t drive.  I can’t work.  I can barely walk some days.  And if I die before I solve Sandbrook, all I’ll ever be known for is fucking up an investigation that let a child murderer go free.”

Miller took another drink.  She shrugged, “you were smiling at your phone.  I saw you.  I watched you play with Fred today.  You’ve got things to smile about.  We both have.  Now, don’t start with all that depressing stuff.  I’m trying to be a merry drunk.”  Her smile was exhausted and her cheeks were pink.

“Fine,” he said.

“Fine,” Miller answered with a smile.

@marvelmisha, @e3105eb, @may-darling, @bigleosis, @it-is-ineffable, @stardust-andwine, @echelongaga, @imnotokaywiththerunning, @heirofsarcasm, @thedoctorsblogger

[fuwafuwamedb]

The King’s Dumu Lugal Pt 7 (Hakuno, Caster Gilgamesh)

Previously: One, Two, Three, Four, Five , Six 

____

She had to take a couple pictures.

Inching close to where the two lay, she pulled out her phone, aiming it at the blond duo on her couch. Gilgamesh had lost his turban, his hair in disarray as he pressed his cheek lightly to the boy’s head. The boy meanwhile wiggled here and there, cuddling close to him.

The two both had the same nose wrinkle as the flash accidentally flickered at them. They both cuddled closer, snuggling just so against each other.

Gudako had apologized endlessly at hearing that the king had found out about his son. She’d offered to let her take Ur and head off somewhere for a while, but they both knew that wouldn’t work out. Gilgamesh wasn’t someone that one could run away from.

This was the king that could sail the stars, the king that could tear down walls and defy great systems of fate that said that things would not continue.

Of course, right now he and Ur were both shivering a bit, pulling a blanket from the back of the couch over them both. Ur’s arms wrapped around a fair amount of the fabric, cuddling it as best he could. Gilgamesh kicked and fixed the blankets into position, ensuring that they were fully covered.

The two were entirely gone.

They were both hers.

She wasn’t sure how to tell Gilgamesh, since Gudako had given her his command spells immediately. Whether he’d sensed it or not was a mystery, but the woman had heard the news, confirmed that it was true, and immediately insisted on handing the man over.

Gilgamesh had a kid with you. I’m not getting anywhere between that. If you don’t like him, then you can figure out what to do since you don’t want to do any running, but it’s all yours to decide. Let Mash and I know if you need someone to watch Ur.

At least they were willing to lend a hand if she needed to talk to Gilgamesh alone.

Hakuno looked down at the picture of the two slumbering boys, smiling at the similar features.

Ur was cute.

He looked so pleased with his father, cuddling close and enjoying the warmth. His mouth was open, sucking a little on the blanket end as he slept. The tiny wisps of hair on his head seemed to fall into his face just like his father’s bangs did.

What would having her son shared with Gilgamesh be like?

All she could imagine was Gil’s behavior on the Moon Cell: perched in his seat, falling asleep in his swim trunks, complaining and harassing others around him, making others sleep away from him…

Being fiercely protective of those he found important…

Giving support when it was needed most…

Showing respect when those around him earned that respect…

She leaned against the couch a little, brushing a hand on the king’s hair slightly.

“You should be resting with us,” Gilgamesh murmured, opening his eyes.

“I wanted to let you both continue to sleep,” Hakuno countered. “You both were so tired.”

He hummed, shifting enough to sit up. Their son was shifting next, pulling his blanket from his mouth and looking over at them. Those red eyes drifted between them a moment before a soft coo came. The hands were waving, the smile forming immediately.

“Ummummmumm!”

“Hi, baby,” Hakuno moved to the seating, finding herself pulled onto Gilgamesh’s lap as she picked up Ur and held him close. Her lips pressed to his hands. “Did you get to spend time with your abum? Did you get to take a nap with abum?”

Gilgamesh’s arms tightened around his waist as Ur giggled away.

“He’s so happy.”

“You take good care of him,” Gilgamesh replied. “I don’t care for others watching him too often though. The pharaoh was allowing him to stumble.”

“Babies stumble.”

“That doesn’t mean that we shouldn’t try to catch them, Hakuno. If he hurt himself and we could have prevented that, then are we not neglecting?”

She’d been worried about that too, but both Da Vinci and Ozymandias had pointed out that it was fine. She couldn’t protect him from everything. It was better for a couple falls rather than a small bruise later making the boy incapacitated.

“Hakuno?”

“I think if we’re watching him, he’ll be fine.”

She was going to leave it at that for now. There was no need to get into an argument when their son was looking at them both and waving his arms. Instead…

Instead, Hakuno pulled Ur closer and pointed to Gilgamesh.

“Who is this?”

Gilgamesh blinked, watching the boy beam at him.

“Is this Abum?”

“Ahh bumm!”

“Abum? We like abum, don’t we?”

“Abum!”

“Should we let Abum feed you again? It’s getting closer to dinner time.”

“…It’s closer to dinner time?”

The king was tensing, glancing around for a clock or a window or-

“Gil,” Hakuno stared up at him. “I was gone late for my work. I was helping Gudako with some… projects and things.” Getting those command spells that lingered on her shoulder for some reason. She would have to make sure to wear tshirts and sleeved tops for a while until Gilgamesh was either suited for this or she made other plans.

“I thought you just worked the morning,” he growled, moving to stand up. His hand ran through his hair. “I should have been working a bit…”

“Go.”

Hakuno held their son close, pressing her lips to the boy’s head as he squirmed.

“You need to work. Head back to your chambers and I’ll bring you dinner in a little while. We can do this like we did before you knew about Ur.”

“I don’t intend to leave you to watch him alone, Hakuno.”

“I did that this morning.”

“You left your sitter with us too.”

“And yet Ramses isn’t here.”

The man shook his head,

“Gilgamesh, the tablet work you have is important. I’ve cared for Ur-Nungal by myself up until now without a problem. We’re fine.”

“Hakuno-“

“Gilgamesh…”

“I am going to stay here to do my work.”

“And what about missions? Experience grinding? Singularities?” 

They glared at one another, letting Ur wobble on her lap for a moment before the man shook his head. “I will go get my work and a few things before returning to in here. The rest we can discuss later.” 

She really didn’t want to argue this. 

“Get used to this, Hakuno,” the man warned. “The boy recognizes me already.”

He stormed out with that being said, careful about the door despite the obvious glare continuing.

She didn’t have the heart to tell him that Romani was sometimes called Abum.

Right now, she really didn’t want to hurt him.

“Let’s pick out some food,” Hakuno cooed to the boy, carefully holding him close and going to the little fridge in her kitchenette. “Do we want apples today or maybe some peas?”

 “Abum!” 

“Mhmm. Abum will feed you some food too.”

[deathsshadow]

I gasped and forced my eyes open, taking in the sun shining through the half-blinded windows, the lights throwing shadows off the dozens of boxes littering my room. Groaning I rubbed my forehead, clearing sleep and the dark mat of hair out of my eyes before wrestling the tangled mess of blankets from my body and made my way to the adjoining bathroom.

The sudden shock of cold water woke me up and brought me fully back to reality. I stared at the mirror for a few minutes, just talking in my pale complexion. My black hair still fell across my forehead and I had to move it back to look at my face, at my eyes. My whole life I’d been told I looked like my father and they were right, except for my eyes. They were my mother’s, one of the many strange things I had inherited from her.

One of my eyes was a bright crystal blue while the other was what she used to call ‘ghost grey’, a blue that was so pale it was almost translucent. For most of my childhood she forced me to wear contacts, “to avoid suspicion” she always said, but I never knew why. Right now the lenses rested in their case on the sink, never used. Once I turned fifteen I figured I was old enough to just not care what people think of me.

Also on the sink were my variations of meds: pills for depression and to help with sleep and some sort of experimental thing that was supposed to help with ‘hallucinations’. I huffed at the thought but reached for the cartons anyway, taking a few of each and gulping them down with a mouthful of water even though I knew they wouldn’t help. Sighing I twisted the caps back on before just tossing them into the bin, I’d tell dad I lost them during the move and we might even find a stronger type later, besides this prescription was about to run out anyway.

Throwing on the only clean clothes I had that weren’t already packed I made my way downstairs. Dad was already in the kitchen, sitting at the table with a newspaper in his hand and a coffee cup in front of him. The kitchen like my room was full of boxes.

“Morning Sal,” dad said not even glancing up from the paper, his hand instinctively reaching for the coffee in front of him.

“Morning,” I replied, taking the opposite seat at the small wooden table, eyeing the cup hopefully, “can I have some coffee?”

My father sipped his drink before regarding me, “did you take your medicine?”

“Yes,” I told him truthfully

“Then no,” he said simply finishing the drink, “you know what caffeine does to you while on your meds.”

I sighed and went to pour myself a bowl of cereal. Back at the table however my appetite left after one small bite so I just sat there and watched the flakes go soft in the milk. Finally dad finished the paper and folded it, placing it on the table beside him, only then did he actually look at me and took in my pale appearance.

sighing he leant forwards and laced his fingers together, “bad night?”

i shrugged, trying to act casually about it and stirred the spoon around my untouched breakfast, “just tired. all this packing.”

dad sighed again before smiling, reaching over to ruffle my hair, an action he hadn’t done since i was a child.

“it’ll be okay kid,” he promised, “once we head out we can start a new life. things will get better, you’ll see.”

after that he got up and made his way over to the sink, preparing to wash up the dishes. I waited a few minutes before finally caving in under my overwhelming feelings. Sighing i slouched back in my seat.

“I dreamt about mum last night,” I admitted, my voice cracking halfway through my sentence as an unwanted tear welled in the corner of my eye.

The clatter of plates caused me to glance up. Dad stood paralysed, hands in the sink, the dishes left forgotten. He had his back towards me but i could easily feel his emotions, the same feelings was currently running through me as well.

Finally after a few more fretful minutes he turned to glance back at my slumped form. He sighed and pulled the plug before running his wet, soap covered fingers through his hair and dried his hands on a tea-towel, then refilled his cup with fresh coffee.

“here,” he said, placing it down in front of me, “you look like you need it.”

i stared up at him with as much shock as i could force my tired face to show, “but… what about my meds?”

he shrugged, “well, they don’t seem to be working anyway, so…”

at this i practically grabbed hold of the mug and downed half the drink, ignoring the liquid as it burned my throat. as soon as it hit my stomach however a sudden flash blinded my vision, scenes from my past and even worse things flashing by in fast precision, a ringing buzz filling my head. Gasping out in pain i pressed my shaking hands against my temples as the buzzing became horrid screams. suddenly my stomach lurched and i rushed to the slowly draining sink, emptying both the caffeine and useless tablets out of my system. that was when i reminded myself that i just hated coffee.

bringing myself back i wiped my mouth clear with a hand, feeling the sweat trickle down my neck. i could hear dad sighing in the background.

“maybe next time,” he said as i turned to face him. slowly he cleared his throat, fidgeting slightly under my accusing gaze before adding, “speaking of which, shouldn’t you go say goodbye to Toby? it’ll be a while till you get to see him again.”

His question forced me back to the current situation. Sighing i lowered my head and, nodding sadly, made my way to the backdoor. this was one of the things i was dreading, having to say goodbye to a good friend. one of my only friends...

...

He spotted me the moment i exited the door. Giving a happy bark the large black hound bounded forwards, only to be pulled back by the heavy chain holding him down. Whimpering he sat back and scratched irritably at the shabby red collar.

Smiling sadly at his pathetic expression i closed the door, making my way over to unclip him. The moment he was untied he gave a loud yelp of excitement and bowled me over, forcing me down easily. I gave a genuine laugh and pushed him back just enough to sit up, scratching him behind the ears. He whined happily and tilted his head back against my palm, staring at me with his mix-matched eyes.

I had Toby ever since i was a kid, my auntie got him for me for my twelfth birthday. None of us knew what breed he was, some kind of cross-mix by the look of him. He was large and dark, with thick fur, pointed ears and a long bony tail. But the main reason my aunt got him for me was because of his eyes, they were just like mine, blue and grey. shiny and bright.

“Hey bud, it’s good to see you too,” i laughed as he licked my hand and then my cheek.

Smiling i pushed him back again so i could wipe my face clear. As the minutes drifted by my expression started to slip. Giving a small sigh i placed a hand against the dog’s head. He whimpered instantly at the touch, probably picking up on my emotions.

“Listen bud,” i muttered, placing both hands along his long head, forcing us to make eye-contact, “I’m going to go away for a while and i... won’t be able to bring you with me...”

He gave another sad whimper like he understood what i was saying and once again i could feel tears welling in my good eye. Wiping them quickly away i wrapped both arms around him, pulling him close for a hug.

“... I’m going to miss you...”

“— don’t worry, we’ll take good care of him.”

Sniffing I glanced up, shocked but not entirely surprised by the sudden voice.

She was standing in the shadow of the house, leaning confidently against the wall, which was probably why i hadn’t noticed her sooner. She was wearing ripped, faded blue jeans covered entirely in brightly coloured paint and marker stains, a long purple t-shirt and a short black coat. Her spiky black hair was cut short and styled in a way that i could only describe as punk-ish. She had a wide smile on her face.

Smiling back at her i wiped my eyes clear.

“Thanks Ace,” i muttered quietly.

Her smile widened at my response.

My cousin, who’s actual name is Ashley White, was exactly what I should have been, what i wished i had been, having inherited the Prince’s family genetics. Although both our hair was raven, a black so dark and shiny in was almost blue, she had been lucky enough to also inherit those bright emerald eyes, and the normality of sight that came with it.

Although i was admittedly a little jealous of this i never actually resented her, in-fact it was the exact opposite. I loved her. She was the best cousin i could have ever hoped for. Even if she was a little annoying at times...

Stepping out of the shadows she crossed her arms and studied me, tilting her head to the side.

“You look terrible,” she shot out, her words dripping with sarcasm

“...very funny...” i muttered, stroking my pet’s head.

She smiled before dropping the act, becoming the true caring and loving girl i knew. Making her way over she knelt down beside me.

“I’m serious,” she said, actually sounding like it, tucking her hands under her knees, “what’s wrong?”

It took a few minutes for me to say anything, but I’ve never lied to her and holding something back, keeping silent when i was hurting, too me at least was the same as lying. i sighed and gave in.

“I had the dream again,” i admitted, staring blankly off into nothing.

Ace’s eyes widened and her face went pale, but she shifted closer as if i had just informed her on some sort of secret, like a child finding out about a hidden birthday present.

“Was it there?” She asked, “i mean, like... did you see it?”

I nodded, absently running my fingers through the dog’s thick, black fur, “i did. Clearer than ever...”

Climbing to her feet she grabbed hold of my hand, “come on, let’s go to my room. Then you can tell me in detail.”

Nodding i followed her up, re-clipping the ratted old collar back on and saying a hurried, and final, goodbye to Toby.

...

The door to Ace’s room was always kept closed for her privacy and no one was allowed in without her permission, whether she was in the room or not. A plaque on the door read: ASHLEY WHITE’S ROOM DO NOT ENTER, but someone (Ace) had gone over it with red paint and had written: ACE’S.

I snickered a little at the sight, remembering how that whole scenario came about. That name had come around when we were kids, playing our own make-believe version of cards seeing as we were too young to have learned the original rules. She was always trying to hide things, but her smile always gave her away. When i called her out on it she snickered in a way she thought was evil and threw down her hand-made card.

“Bam, ace of fours. I win!”

I snorted at her failed scheme and scolded her, saying that an ace of four wasn’t even a real card. She pulled a face and muttered: “what-ever...” and ever since then it had become a sort of nick-name.

Slowly i brought myself back to the present as Ace pushed her door open. Flicking on the light she nodded for me to enter...

Entering her room was like entering an art studio, it was wrong to even think about calling it a bedroom. From floor to ceiling, even littered along the floor, were hundreds if not thousands of paintings, sketches, drawings, you name it. If someone was to mention something about one of her drawings she’d only scoff and say that it wasn’t even her best work, but i knew better. She had basic sketches that looked as if they could have been taken from an art museum. Even her worst was better than anything i ever drew.

Ace motioned me over to her bed and I obediently sat, curling my feet up silently. Making her way over to her overflowing desk she slipped out a large folio and a broken stick of charcoal. Slowly she flipped through the pages, looking for a clean slate. Each page she passed—much like the rest of her room— pictured a dark illustration of my nightmare. The black, horned shadow appearing to creep closer the more pages she turned.

Finally she found a blank page. Picking up her chunk of charcoal and a plain red pencil she asked me to recite my dreams to her. Tucking my knees up under my chin i obeyed, allowing the faint sounds of drawing to put me under a sort of trance.

The minuets blurred together as i spoke, eyes shut tight as the memories flooded through my mind. Then came the loud, sudden snap of the charcoal that forced me out of my nightmare back to the present, the creature’s glowing red eyes still burning through my retinas.

I sat there, curled up and shivering as Ace blew away the excess charcoal dust, brushing at the page almost lovingly to made sure it didn’t smudge. not once did she turn back to look at me. I didn’t mind, I actually appreciated the few minutes free time, giving me the chance to wipe the invisible tears and calm myself from the relived fright.

Finally she raised the page up to admire her art, the evil stare of the beast glowing right off the page, the blood red gaze so lifelike it was like it was staring right at me. I shuddered at the thought and turned away, re-closing my eyes. Unfortunately Ace took notice of my movement and turned to face me with a look that almost resembled guilt. She placed the page back down and made like she was going to say something when she was interrupted by the sudden, almost reassuring voice of her mother calling out to us.

“Salazar? Ashley? Are you there? The moving van’s here. Let’s go!”

We both let out a breath at the same time. I had no idea what Ace was sighing about, but i was sighing out of relief at not having to keep that image in my head any longer. Putting on a smile she slipped her drawing into a drawer and got up to walk over to me. Giving a small nod i joined her and together we left her room.

[starstruck-xavier]

[4] 5 Times Someone Stopped Virgil From Self-Harming and 1 Time He Stopped Himself

it’s time for janus!! this one’s centred around getting good sleep and not pulling all nighters but there’s some discussion of other s-h methods so just still be warned. i’m finishing up the last chapter and i cant wait to finish this fic aa!!

1 - Logan || 2 - Roman || 3 - Patton || [4 - Janus] || 5 - Remus || 6 - Virgil

ao3 || wattpad || fanfiction masterpost

words for this chapter: 1001 ships: platonic anxceit warnings: mentions of cutting (not described or actually done within the chapter)

“Virgil, you are not staying up all night.”

Janus sighs, leaning on the doorframe as some distant church bells somewhere in the city chime midnight. Virgil is sat at his desk, donning his smudge guard, his pen gliding across the tablet screen tirelessly and showing no signs of stopping.

“Virgil.” Janus tries again to get his attention; this time, he’s met with a tired stare. "Is your deadline set for tomorrow?" He waits for a moment before Virgil shakes his head. "Then you have no reason to rush. You’ve had a long day, just try to get some sleep.”

There’s a few seconds in which they stare each other down, but then Virgil finally gives in, saves his files and shuts off the monitor with a sigh, or maybe it’s a yawn. "I wanted to just get it out of the way, not worry about it.”

"Yes, I understand, but you could finish your art at a much higher quality tomorrow if you get some good sleep." The corners of Janus’ lips tilt into a sympathetic frown as he walks over to Virgil’s bed and sits down, patting the spot next to him. "Come here, tell me what’s wrong.”

"But I—“ Virgil blinks confusedly and hesitates for a second but still complies, setting the smudge guard and pen down and moving to sit next to Janus. "How do you know something’s wrong?”

Janus hums nonchalantly. "I think I've spent enough time with you, I can just tell. You seem a little… mentally exhausted.”

“I'm gonna assume you can tell by being a psychology student and not by my outward appearance.” Virgil rubs at his eyes self-consciously, well aware of the dark shadows that are always there, but continues. "I guess it’s been a weird week. On Monday I got startled by some dumb driver in a sports car and nearly cut again but Logan helped me calm down, and later that day Roman told me that I shouldn’t be so hard on myself when I'm dancing and to take a break before I hurt myself again, which— I— I didn’t know I was even doing that. On Tuesday I didn’t do much except go to class, I guess I was feeling a little depressed that day, but then yesterday Roman and I were doing relays together and Patton came to watch. He brought me some food and then I realised just how hungry I was. I keep… realising that maybe I'm hurting myself in more ways than I first thought, and it’s making me anxious, so I was just trying to get other stressors out of the way, like this art project.”

As he’s listening intently to Virgil telling him about the week, Janus remembers those short moments that he’s seen in the past few days - like when Logan and Virgil returned to the dorms before their class was even over and Virgil took a quick nap between then and his dance class. When he returned again with Roman late that night, looking fatigued and dozing off on Roman’s shoulder while they both watched Youtube videos together on the couch. As well as that, while Janus was happy to see Virgil eating a full meal yesterday evening like the rest of the roommates, he did think that it was a little unexpected, and perhaps somebody had encouraged him to do so.

"I suppose me telling you that you look tired wouldn’t help with those anxious feelings, hmm?" He smiles faintly when Virgil shakes his head again. "Realising your unhealthy habits are just the first step to overcoming them. Maybe discovering many of them in a short amount of time is a little overwhelming, but you can work on them one at a time. You still have your timer going, right?”

Virgil reaches for his phone on the corner of the desk and opens it up to the timer; it’s a sobriety timer meant for people trying to quit drinking, but it works as a great ‘days since cutting’ timer as well. "Two months, fourteen days, five hours and thirty-one minutes.”

A look of proudness overcomes Janus’ usually neutral features. "That’s almost two and a half months, you’re doing amazingly. See, all you have to do in regards to trying not to cut again is to remind yourself of how far you’ve come, and to use those other techniques you’ve learned to lessen the urges." He places one arm around Virgil’s back comfortingly. "We can talk about those other habits you have some other time, but for now, it’s time to sleep.”

“I'm not tired, though.” Virgil attempts to protest, but Janus is already standing so he can pull back the bedsheets and wait for him to lie down.

"I can stay with you if you want?”

Virgil seems to think for a moment, fidgeting with his hands, but then sighs and starts to move. "Okay, fine.”

Once the two of them are underneath the heap of blankets and bedsheets that litter Virgil’s bed, Janus reaches to turn off the bedside lamp and then wraps his arms around his friend’s waist from behind so that he’s spooning him. "Just lay here long enough and you’ll feel tired soon." He mumbles into Virgil’s hair.

It feels extremely comfortable for Virgil to lay there with his back pressed against Janus’ chest; he feels the previous anxiety and tension draining from his shoulders and his breathing becomes softer, slower as he relaxes and sinks into the touch. Janus is right, he thinks to himself, sleep should be able to help him concentrate more on his art once he wakes up again tomorrow, or rather, later in the morning, as midnight has already passed. He’s about to question himself on why he hadn’t thought of that before, but then figures that the anxiety had his thought process set on other things.

Hopefully, he can try to feel this relaxed more often, for it only takes another few minutes for him to drift into a deep sleep.

~

(let me know if you want to be tagged for the other chapters!) @underestimatemethatwillbefun

[saveyourblood]

Stolen Dance | Ch. 4

Summary: “Maybe this was a pipe dream, a delusion you’d soon awake from or a phase you’d outgrow. You didn’t really care. For a brief moment in time, you were in love. That’s what you chose to care about. That what you made matter.”

The one where you’re a paramedic, he’s an FBI agent, and the time you spend together is borrowed.

Notes: If I ever stop updating here on tumblr, you can finish the rest of this story over on my AO3. 

Word Count: 4.7k

Song: Cinnamon — Jome 

Warnings: mentions of blood and self harm, past trauma, regular CM warnings. 

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

_____________________

Eventually, you convinced Angel to move to the bed. You sat in the armchair while he sat on the edge of the bed, and overall, he seemed more comfortable. His legs were no longer close to his chest, and his body language expressed a certain amount of security. He wasn’t curled up into a ball, tucked away in the corner. Other than the fact that he had yet to speak, it was as if the two of you were having a normal, healthy discussion.

“There you go, bring it over,” you praised as Angel rolled the coin across his fingers. “You’re pretty good, Angel.”

He smiled, and you returned the expression.

“You should see my friend Spencer do coin tricks,” you continued as Angel started to roll the quarter over his fingers. “He’s basically a magician.” 

The door opened. You looked over your shoulder to see Angel’s doctor and a nurse enter.

“Hey Angel, the doctor’s here,” you said. “Do you want me to stay?”

The smile on his face faded, but he shook his head ‘no’.

“Okay. I’ll be right outside,” you told him before dismissing yourself from the room. 

Spencer was waiting right outside the door for you.

“Hey,” he greeted, smiling warmly. “How’s it going in there?”

“As well as one can hope,” you said. “What about you? Has Garcia figured anything out yet?” 

“She found the contact information for Angel’s mother,” Spencer replied. “Local law enforcement called; she said she’d be here soon.”

“That’s good,” you nodded.

“Really think so?”

You let out a breath. “It will be, eventually. I hope.” 

“I’ll go get us some coffee,” Spencer offered. “Sit down, take a break.” 

You grinned, wanting nothing more than to kiss or at least hug him. But you had a job to do, both of you. Blurring the lines at work, even in private, could be detrimental. So instead of kissing or hugging him, you bumped your shoulder against his. 

“A coffee sounds amazing.” 

“So far, Samantha Allen is our best lead,” Spencer said, taking a sip of his coffee. “She’s the woman that came into the police station and said she saw a boy in chains when she was a child.”

The two of you sat in the floor’s lounge, taking a break while the doctor looked over Angel. 

“Jesus,” you muttered. “So her father is the suspect?”

Spencer nodded. “Emily helped her recover a few memories. They’re going to see if he gives her access to the basement.”

“Hopefully they find something,” you said. “Otherwise… we’re back at square one.” 

You tapped the edge of your coffee cup, pursing your lips.

“What’s wrong?” Spencer asked softly.

“Do you think Angel blames himself?” You said. 

Spencer briefly raised an eyebrow. “I did.”

You stopped mid-drink. “What?”

“When I was captured,” Spencer said. “I blamed myself.”

“When were you captured?” You asked, setting your coffee aside. It no longer seemed interesting.

“A case we were working on a few years ago,” he replied. “A man named Tobias Hankel kidnapped me after JJ and I split up to search his property.”

“You never told me that,” you whispered. You could feel your heart slowly fracture and shatter. 

He laughed sadly. “It never came up.”

“It wasn’t your fault,” you promised, taking his hand. Rules, courtesy, professionalism be damned. “Whatever he did, it wasn’t your fault. And if you ever want to talk about it, I’m here.”

He squeezed your hand. “I know.” 

Slowly, gradually, naturally, you let your grip falter until your hand was back in your lap. 

You looked up to see the doctor walking in the hallway. Frowning, you stood up and rushed over. 

“Hey, Doc?” you asked, catching up. “Am I good to go in?” 

He nodded. “If you want.”

You pressed the button to the door, stepping in after it automatically slid open. 

Angel now had his back turned to the door, hunched over. 

“Angel?” you asked curiously. “What’s going on, hon?”

He let out a small noise. You heard a soft, unmistakable sound: drops of blood hitting the floor. 

“Angel!” you shouted, rushing over. He shouted as well, but in agony, both physically and mentally. It broke your heart. “Angel, stop!”

Once reaching the bed, you grabbed both of his arms by the elbow and pulled them backwards. You didn’t stop pulling until his back was against your chest. You heard Spencer enter the room. 

“Spence, the call button,” you said, still holding Angel in a death grip.

Spencer scrambled to the remote on the bed, pressing the call button multiple times. Then, he came around the bed and got rid of the needle. 

“Get a towel,” you said, nodding towards the bin of supplies on the tray. “Get it on his wrist and apply pressure.”

From your quick visual inspection, Angel didn’t appear to hit any arteries or break any veins. His handiwork was messy, but shallow. 

“You’re okay,” you promised Angel, moving one arm across his shoulders and the other to his hair. “You’re safe, Angel. You’re okay.”

You stayed and watched as the doctor cleaned and examined the cuts. Angel managed to get a few good jabs in, but nothing would need stitches. He applied a few butterfly closures over the deeper cuts before putting gauze over Angel’s entire wrist and wrapping it in medical tape. 

You managed to convince Angel to not only let the doctor work on him, but to also allow him to administer a sedative and put an oxygen cannula in his nose. After awhile, the sedative kicked in and Angel fell asleep. You draped a few blankets over him and took a seat next to the bed.

You sat and watched him sleep for a bit, unsure what to make of it. It was strange to see a boy that was constantly on edge let his guard down completely. Rather than dwelling on it, though, you stood up, walked out of the room, and came back with a bowl of water and some towels. 

You started by washing his legs. You didn’t want to scare him off with any foreign smells, so you used only a cloth wet with water to clean his skin. Still, a decent amount of dirt came off. You had to change the water twice before moving past his legs. 

You cleaned only the skin you could see, making sure to not compromise his privacy nor his security blanket. He would stay in his clothes as long as he liked, and no one would tell him otherwise. If it was something he wanted to hold onto, you wouldn’t let anyone take that away. 

You washed from his face, down his arms, and to his hands. You scraped the dirt from under his nails gently, knowing the only way to get rid of the grime was a trim. For now, this would have to do. 

You set the soiled rag in your basin of cloudy water, moving to dump it into the skin. Once you pulled away from the bed, though, Angel grabbed your hand. You turned back to see his small, bony fingers wrapped over your palm. You took his grasp, running your thumb against the back of his hand.

“I’m right here, Angel,” you told him, returning to the chair by the bed. You pulled it closer, until your knees pressed against the frame. “I’m not going anywhere.” 

You eventually got up to stretch your legs, and you ended up standing by the windowsill. Absentmindedly, you played with the dog tags hanging around your neck. It had been years since you wore regularly wore them, yet you hadn’t taken them off since your drive to Virginia. You felt like you had no reason to take them off yet.

You noticed Angel staring at you.

“Do you know what these are, Angel?” you asked.

He shook his head.

You approached the bed again. “They’re called dog tags,” you told him. “Soldiers wear them when they go into war. The idea was, if a soldier was injured or died on the battlefield, a comrade would take one of the tags off and bring it to their commander. The other is left on their body for easier identification.” 

You took a seat next to the bed.

“You went to war?”

You looked up in shock, eyes wide. Angel chuckled, and you did as well.

“I did,” you said. “I went to war, and it changed me forever. Just like what you through: it changed you. Angel, the man who took you took another boy. We need to find him. Can you help us?” 

Angel turned his head towards the window.

You closed your eyes, accepting the minor defeat. Eventually, though, you reached up and took of your dog tags.

“Angel?” you asked. 

He turned to look at you.

You held out the tags by the chain they hung on. “I want you to have these. They reminded me that, no matter what happened, I was a soldier. I was a survivor.”

Angel reached up, taking the tags into his palm. You moved your hand down to clasp his. 

“I don’t know the names of the men that hurt me,” you said quietly. “I was young, in a country I didn’t know. They spoke a language I didn’t understand. They hurt me, Angel, but the pain didn’t stop when they did. I did things like that to myself,” you told him, pointing to his wrist. “I thought that if I was supposed to be in constant pain, I should be the one to cause it, and if I died, so what? The pain would be over. But you know what, Angel? The pain wouldn’t be over. If I died, they would win. No fucking way do they get that. After everything they put me through, they don’t get to win.” 

You held his hand harder. “I want the man who hurt you to pay. I want to take away the one thing he values — freedom. But most importantly, I want to make sure no more little boys have to go through what you did. I want you to win. Can you help me?”

He nodded.

Someone stepped into the room. You turned around to see Spencer holding a tablet to his chest. He pointed it outwards so Angel could see. 

“Do any of these men look familiar?” Spencer asked.

Angel studied the four available pictures for a moment. After some consideration, he shook his head. “It was always too dark. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize,” you said quickly. “Don’t be sorry.”

You stepped out to get some fresh air, asking a nurse to take your place for a few minutes. Arizona’s heat was dry, so if you stayed in the shade, the breeze felt good. 

“You never told me,” Spencer said from behind you.

You turned around quickly upon hearing a disturbance, but relaxed when it was only him. “Never told you what?” 

“That you were captured.” 

“Oh, I wasn’t,” you replied simply, turning back around.

“You weren’t?” He asked, appearing by your side. 

“Empathy is one hell of a persuader,” you shrugged. “I figured if Angel thought I knew how he felt, he’d feel comfortable enough to confide in me.” 

“It’s dangerous to make up stories like that,” Spencer stated. His tone sounded neutral. “If you got caught in a lie, it could ruin not only the Bureau’s reputation, but in this case, the US Army’s reputation.”

“I’m sorry?”

“If a former soldier were to lie about being captured and tortured while deployed, they could face jail time,” Spencer said. “But, if the Army failed to secure a situation, and a combat medic was captured and tortured for information she didn’t have, it could ruin their reputation.”

Your face went blank. “What are you trying to say, Spencer?”

“I’m saying, if you ever want to talk, I’m here.” 

Spencer walked back into the hospital, leaving you alone to gather your thoughts. 

_____________________

It turned out that J.B. Allen, Sam Allen’s father, gave her trophies after a boy from Arizona disappeared. Considering her dad’s behavior when she was growing up, along with her recovered memories, it was hard to accept that as a coincidence. The team raided his house, and after some redirection from Sam, they found Allen attempting to bury Billy Henderson alive. Overall, the case was considered a success. 

“Good work everyone,” Hotch praised as the team filtered back into the office. “Go home, get some sleep. I’ll see you back here tomorrow.”

There was an onslaught of tired goodnights. You, however, said nothing as Hotch climbed the stairs and retreated into his office. 

“Are you hungry?” Spencer asked you. “There’s a restaurant downtown open 24/7. They make amazing egg rolls.”

“Can I take a raincheck?” you replied. “There’s something I have to take care of.” 

“...sure,” Spencer answered. His answer was neutral, but his face told a different story.

“I could go for some late night Chinese,” Emily chimed in. “What about you, Derek?”

Apparently, you and Spencer were doing an okay job of concealing your relationship.

“Count me in,” Derek replied. “JJ?”

“I’ve got my boys waiting for me at home,” JJ said. “Next time.” 

“Alright,” Derek said. He then looked at you. “Catch up with you later?”

You nodded, forcing a smile on your face. “Absolutely.” 

Derek grinned, then threw an arm around Spencer’s shoulders. “Alright, pretty boy: show us the way.” 

You began to ascend the staircase. You could feel Spencer take one last glance at you before he left with Emily and Derek. You chose not to turn around. 

When you got to Hotch’s office, you knocked on the already open door. 

“Y/N,” he stated, which you supposed was his idea of a greeting. “What can I do for you?” 

“Why did you assign me to this case?” You asked.

“Because it’s your job,” he stated plainly. 

“It’s my job to be a paramedic,” you said. “So why is it that, when you went to recover Billy Henderson, I was in a hospital room rather than on the field?” 

“Billy was in no immediate medical danger,” Hotch said. “You wouldn’t have been useful on the field.”

“You didn’t know if he would need help or not,” you countered. “Him being physically okay had nothing to do with the profile, with Allen, with… anything other than luck, really.”

Hotch stood up a bit straighter. “Is there something you’re trying to say, Y/N?”

You ran your hand down your face. Every instinct in your body was screaming at you, telling you to go with your gut and call him out. Your anxiety, however, warned you that, if you were wrong, you should kiss your job goodbye. 

You were a good soldier. So, you stuck with your guns.

“The US Government does an amazing job of covering its tracks,” you said. “I mean, sometimes, things fall through the cracks, but for the most part, what the government wants hidden, stays hidden. Project MKUltra, Camp Hero… no one knew until the government wanted them to know.”

“What’s your point?”

“My point is that you know something happened to me in Syria,” you said quietly. “You just don’t know the details. You know that, halfway through my tour, I was honorably discharged, and a small fortune appeared in my bank account. But no matter how much digging Garcia does, she can’t seem to come up with any answers.”

Hotch didn’t respond; he merely stared at you.

“Like I said: the government can cover its tracks,” you repeated. “Honestly, Agent Hotchner, I don’t care that you know. I don’t care that Garcia knows. I don’t care if you’ve made theories of what happened. All I care about is one thing: what do you want from me? Because after today, it doesn’t seem like I’m here to be a paramedic.”

Hotch took a seat at his desk. He gestured for you to sit across from him. Slowly, you entered the room and did just that. 

“I’ve known about your sudden discharge since before you were hired,” Hotch told you. “I reached out to several of your superiors to ask what happened and if it would affect your abilities. None of them disclosed what happened to you, but they all said the same thing: they’d take a bullet for you, but you’d take one for them first. They said no matter who you treated, you treated them with care. You managed to get along with everyone, even on the few occasions you had to treat enemy soldiers.”

You let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding.

Hotch leaned forward. “I don’t care about what happened to you, Y/N, but I do care about this team. So let me ask you this: will the reason you got discharged ever negatively affect the BAU in any way?”

You immediately shook your head. “It’s done and over with.” 

“Then all I hope for is your success. I hope to see not only your skillset as a paramedic grow, but I hope you can eventually be hired as an SSA, maybe even as a profiler.”

“Then what’s up with all of this?” you asked, tugging at your t-shirt. It was a lighthearted break from the conversation, but you were also curious.

Hotch scoffed with a smile. “That would be the work of Erin Strauss,” Hotch said, confirming your suspicions. “She and the Director were hesitant in hiring you. They wanted to get the point across that were to help this team only as medical personnel.”

“Neither of them know what you assigned me to today, do they?” You inquired.

“Like you said: you spent the day in the hospital,” Hotch said. “That’s as medical as it gets, don’t you agree?”

You laughed softly. “Can’t argue with that.”

Hotch smiled smally. “Go home, Y/N. I’ll see you tomorrow.” 

“Yes sir,” you said, then stood up and walked to the door. “Hotch?” you said before leaving.

“Yes?”

“Thanks.” 

_____________________

“Best Doctor?”

You licked your ice cream. “10, obviously.”

“Have you seen any episodes of the original series?” Spencer asked. 

“They’re not on Netflix,” you replied.

“Have you heard of a library?”

“Don’t get smart with me, you nerd!” you laughed, swatting his arm. “You should just be glad I’m into weird shit.”

The two of you were walking down a busy street that was lined with booths. Autumn was approaching, and apparently, Virginians took the season very seriously. It was only the end of September, yet there were already some fall festivals popping up. You invited Spencer to one that was close to campus.

“No one else on the team watches Doctor Who,” Spencer ceded. He took a lick from his own cone. 

“Exactly,” you agreed. “I watched it a lot after my dad died — it felt like every time I watched an episode, The Doctor swooped in and took me away from my troubles, at least for a little while.”

“I watched the original series with my mother growing up,” Spencer said. “We’d watch the American premiere times when she remembered.”

You smiled and stopped walking. You reached your free arm up and set it on his shoulder. “I guess we’re meant to be,” you said sweetly. 

“I suppose so,” he agreed with a smile.

Spencer leaned in for a kiss. You took it as an opportunity to lick his ice cream cone. 

“Oh, that is so unfair,” He laughed.

“What is that, maple nut?” you asked, licking your lips. “It’s good.” 

When you tried to pull away, Spencer slid a few fingers under the waistband of your jeans and pulled you back to him.

“Spencer!” You practically yelped. He’d never done something so bold, especially in public.

“What?” he asked innocently. Then, he took a lick from your cone. He let you go, a shit-eating grin on his face. “We’re even.” 

“Far from it,” you laughed. Still, you wrapped an arm around his waist.

Spencer pulled you against his side, kissing the top of your head. 

The two of you walked around for awhile, taking in the scenery and the other’s presence. You’d enjoyed the cases you worked on in the last couple of weeks, but you had to admit, nothing beat the alone time you spent with Spencer. Working with him was both humbling and enjoyable, yet the time you spent in his company and no one else’s was priceless.

You wondered if you’d ever be able to fully convey that to him. 

“Didn’t you give Angel your dog tags?” Spencer asked. 

You instinctively reached up and began to play with the tags around your neck. “I gave him the set I kept in my jeep.” 

“Why do you wear them?” He asked, this time, more gently.

“I don’t know,” you admitted. “They make me feel… safe, I guess.”

“Well, in that case…” Spencer said, pulling you closer, “...I hope one day, you stop wearing them.”

You smiled softly, sadly. “Me too.”

You had a feeling that day wouldn’t come for awhile. 

_____________________

In the middle of your psych class, you got a 911 text from Hotch saying you needed to come in right away. Ever since taking the job, you left your phone at least on vibrate and checked every single message or notification you received. Your professors and classmates probably found it obsessive and/or annoying, but that didn’t matter to you. 

You stood up, quickly packing your materials into your backpack before slipping it on. 

“Miss… Y/N,” the professor said, taking a moment to remember your name. With probably 100 students in the class, you couldn’t blame him. Regardless of your name, he seemed far from pleased with you at the moment. “Is there somewhere more important you should be right now?”

“Actually, yes,” you replied bluntly. You walked behind the table and down the stairs. You were out the door before your professor could say anything else. 

“Sorry I’m late,” you apologized as you entered the briefing room. You had to swing by your apartment to swap out your school bag for your go bag and change into your uniform. You still felt a little stupid in both your t-shirt and bomber jacket, but you figured eventually, you’d get used to it. “I was at school.”

“It’s your off day,” Hotch responded, which was as close to an ‘it’s fine’ as you were going to get. 

“What’s going on?” Morgan asked. 

“There was a child abduction in the Potomac Mills Mall,” Hotch said, passing out files. “The circumstances are eerily similar to an abduction exactly one week ago — the same type of girl was taken at the same time in the same place.”

“Did they find her?” you asked, opening your file. 

“They found her remains.”

“So we could have a serial killer on our hands,” Emily said. 

“We’re looking for a pattern,” Hotch said instead. “We’ll finish briefing in the car; Garcia, take what you need from your office. Y/L/N, swap your go bag out for a medi one.” 

“Yes sir,” the two of you replied simultaneously. 

One silver lining to joining the BAU? Even lecture days were exciting. 

“What makes you sure Katie Jacobs is still In the building?”

“The mall's got cameras installed at every entrance and exit. Surveillance video confirms Katie entering the building, but no sign of her leaving.”

The mall had been in complete lockdown for almost 20 minutes, and already, everyone looked panicked. 

“Whoever killed Jessica Davis last week left that mall with her because he wanted time with his victim in privacy. Assuming it's the same offender, he wouldn't stray From his m.o.,” Spencer said. 

“So if Katie is still under this roof, so is her abductor,” JJ agreed.

“Garcia, report to the mall’s security office. Reid, Morgan, Y/L/N, find the head of security: we need all data from every search team,” he instructed. 

The three of you broke off to find security staff that could point you in the right direction.

“117 stores, 69 storage closets, 73 dressing rooms, 6 men’s rooms, 6 ladies’ rooms, access to the roof via the north and south stairwell, 7 restaurants — each with a separate kitchen —, and 4 elevators,” the head of security said. She pointed to each on the map, which was spread onto a table the 4 of you surrounded.

“Every team is going to need a copy of this,” Derek said. 

After scanning the blueprints and printing countless copies, officers began to hand them around. Meanwhile, Derek and Spencer studied the original plan. 

“Well, aside from the stairwells, storage closets, and hundreds of shops, there's a whole underbelly beneath our feet — Subterranean level, Air ducts, boiler rooms,” Derek said.

“Realistically, it’ll take at least… 3 hours to cover this place,” the head of security said. 

“Realistically, we have less than half that time,” Derek countered.

“How do you figure?” She frowned.

“99% of abducted children who are killed die within the first 24 hours, 75% within the first 3 hours, and when law enforcement knows, Jessica Davis joined the 44% of children who are abducted and killed within the first hour,” Spencer explained. 

Derek’s phone rang. “Yeah, what do you got?” He asked before stepping away. 

You tugged Spencer’s sleeve. He followed you when you stepped away from the table. 

“You think she has a shot?” You asked in a low voice. 

For the first time since you met him, Spencer Reid was speechless. 

“Your tech analyst found Katie’s last known location,” the head of security interjected.

“Take us there,” you replied instantly.

“So she and her cousin came in here about 30 minutes ago, and that was the last time anyone saw Katie?” Spencer asked, stepping into the arcade. You and Derek followed.

“That’s right,” the head of security confirmed.

“10 minutes after the assault is generally the molester’s lowest point of self-esteem,” Spencer stated. 

“He could he panicking right now, realizing he left a witness,” Derek added. 

“Richard Allen Davis strangled Polly Klaas just to prevent her from identifying him.”

“That’s… grim,” you muttered under your breath.

A single abduction like this would normally be classified as a snatch-and-grab, but with the Jessica Davis abduction, It's more likely we're dealing with a preferential offender,” Derek said.

“Whose victims fall into a particular type,” Spencer agreed. “He came to this mall knowing what he was looking for, because he feels safe here, familiar with his surroundings.”

“If this was some normal guy, we’d have found Katie by now,” you thought aloud. “The UnSub is hiding her, and it has to be somewhere no one would think to look.” 

“Only former and current employees would have knowledge that intimate,” Spencer stated.

You nodded. “Exactly.”

“We need to talk to her cousin,” Derek said.

You pulled a chair out, taking a seat Jeremy, Katie’s cousin.

“Hi, Jeremy,” you said warmly. “I’m Y/N. I asked your parents if me and my friends could speak to you privately. Is that okay?”

“My dad thinks it’s my fault,” Jeremy said, obviously upset.

“No, he doesn’t,” you promised. “When people are in stressful situations like this, they say things they don’t really mean.” 

Derek leaned forward. “Hey, kid.”

Jeremy looked up.

“The moments right before a kidnapping like this are the most important,” Derek told him. “You’ve got to understand you’re the only one who can help us with that.” 

“But I… I can’t remember.”

“Jeremy,” Spencer said, voice gentle, “all we need is the last thing Katie said or did before you realized she was gone.” 

He began to shake his head. The movement started slow, but as Jeremy’s breaths grew shorter, the shaking quickened.

“Jeremy?” Derek asked. “What’s going on?”

Jeremy stood up, but his posture was slouched. He tried grabbing for his chest. “Can’t… breathe…”

“He’s having a panic attack,” you said, standing up. You set a hand on his shoulder. “Sit down, honey. You’re okay.”

Slowly and shakily, he listened. You crouched down beside him once he was in the chair. 

“Put your head between your legs,” you instructed in a soft, calm voice. You took one of his hands and set the other on his neck. 

Once again, Jeremy slowly but surely listened to you. You patted the back of his head, assuring him you were there and that he was safe.

You looked between Spencer and Derek. Whatever Jeremy saw, he didn’t want to remember. 

_____________________

Notes: Let me know what you think! Comments keep me motivated to write xo

[mylittleotomecorner]

Rainy Day Care Lucien x MC Rating: aww

I finally leave the office. We’ve been pulling late nights to get the proposals done for the next project and finished with little time to spare. Kiki and Willow wanted to get drinks, Minor insisting he check my drinks like last time, but I had to turn them down. I wanted to go home, relax and refresh myself before the next proposal meeting. Walking home, I planned to stop at the store and get a few things to fix for a quick dinner. The air was crisp and the night was calm… until something hit my forehead. 

“Huh?” I look up and a few raindrops hit me as drizzle slowly began to fall. I walked briskly to the store and make it inside just before the downpour came. Sighing as I looked outside, I muttered, “There wasn’t any forecast for rain…” With nothing else to do, I grab a shopping basket and wander the store for the things I wanted for dinner.

Once I have all I need, I looked around to see if there were any umbrellas for sale. When asked, the clerk said they ran out and I was left to wonder how long I would have to wait. Paying for my items, I decided to wait outside and see if the rain will lighten up enough to walk home. 

The awning was large enough and a few others waited as well. The clerk said we could wait inside if we got cold. Time passed, the other people waiting eventually left to take their chances or found friends that so happened to pass by. I heave a heavy sigh. “At this rate, I’ll never get home…”

“[___], are you waiting for someone?” Turning to the voice that spoke to me, there was Lucien holding an umbrella and a look of gentle concern. 

I must look like a wet rat to him. Looking me over, it felt like he must. “I didn’t know it was going to rain so I didn’t bring an umbrella. I was just on my way home.”

“And you went grocery shopping hoping it will stop?” I nodded, feeling pretty pathetic. I’m sure I look it. But all I got from Lucien was a smile and an offered hand. “Let me to take you home and carry your things.”

“Thank you, Lucien. I’ll be okay carrying them while we walk.” I smile as I join him under the umbrella. 

Still with that smile, he wrapped a warm arm around my shoulders. “I suppose this will have to do. I didn’t realize it might be a tight fit under here since I don’t walk with anyone in the rain. Maybe that might change. I hope you don’t mind.” I can feel the flush rise on my cheeks and I shook my head no, too afraid my heart might jump out of my throat. I didn’t have to look up to know his smile was there shining down on me as he held me close to him the whole way home. I was grateful for the warmth as I didn’t realize how cold I was. I hope he didn’t notice the shivering as I shifted the bags in my hands. 

“I must be lucky that you’re living right next door,” I say as we reach our floor.

“Yes, though, I won’t always be there to take you home.” Lucien sounded worried as he took his keys out. “Why don’t you join me for some tea. Maybe we can even share dinner? I just want to make sure you didn’t catch cold after getting caught in the rain.”

“Oh, it’s okay, really,” I say in objection. “I feel fi-choo!” I sniffles and rub my nose. 

A hand goes to my forehead and more concern grows on Lucien’s face. “You’re burning up a little. Come in. No arguments.”

Darn, I just had to make myself a burden. Obeying, I enter his apartment as I hold my bags in both hands. It’s still the same as I last saw it, hardly lived in since he’s always away at the lab working on some research project. Lucien closed the door and took my bags. “I think we can save these for another time. I’ll order us something.”

“Really, I-“ A slender finger was placed on my lips and my wide eyes went to the owner. His smile was one of comfort and gentleness. 

“No arguments, remember?” That look made me feel so safe somehow and I merely nodded. He then went and placed my groceries in his fridge and took his mobile to order takeout. He looked up and frowned. “You need a hot bath and a change of clothes.”

I forgot my clothes had gotten damp from the rain and look at them. “They seem okay. I could just-“

“I’ll draw you a bath and give you some spare clothes. It’s no trouble.” There he goes, to draw a bath and get me clothes. Wait… spare clothes… his clothes?! What about my damp ones?! I’m mortified and embarrassed and other things mixed into one moment. How could this have happened to me…

*****

Freshly bathed, I feel really embarrassed to have to wear a man’s large shirt as a gown. The sweatpants he gave me were so long, I had to roll the cuffs up. It made me feel like a little kid. Lucien is somewhere on his phone. I can hear him talking to someone so I’m left to take a seat on the couch. Somehow, the need to hug a pillow was there. I grab a throw pillow and held it in my arms. 

“That is one lucky pillow.” Lucien had come over with a blanket in his arms. “If only to know how that pillow feels…” How can he say that with that smile of his? My cheeks flamed up and I try to hide behind the pillow.  I even tried tucking my legs under, feeling greatly exposed. “Here, this will be much warmer than that pillow. It’s just a simple throw, but I can get you something heavier if you’re feeling cold.” He held it open and it was big enough for two people. 

“What about you? Will you be alright? Were you in the rain long?” I couldn’t help but worry that if I was caught in the rain that he was as well. I took the blanket, trying not to shiver despite the warm bath I took. But, our hands grazed each other so he must have felt how cold my fingers were. His were exceptionally icy so that made me even more worried.

“Oh, don’t worry about me. Let’s just get you settled in. Food should be here soon.” No sooner was the throw on my lap did the doorbell rang. “That should be it now.” He went to answer the door and returned with a large bag of takeout. He moved the coffee table closer and set the bag down. Out came containers of soup and dumplings. “I figured you would want something simple and maybe got a little hungry?”

My stomach replied with a loud growl just as I opened my mouth. I snapped my mouth shut and wished I could be swallowed up by the cough. All Lucien did was chuckle lightly and take out more dumplings. How does this man know how to take care of me? “I’ll have to repay you for all this food.”

“Nonsense,” he said once everything was set. “I’m just happy to have a meal with you.” 

I smile, now not sure if I have a fever or feel embarrassed that this is seeming like a date. Shifting so I can have my soup, I blurt out, “This kinda feels like a date.”

Lucien was passing a container of dumplings my way, that smile ever present on his lips as he set the container before me. “A date? Hmmm, I’ll have to get you flowers next time I take you home for dinner then.” The hot soup was as good a cover as I was going to get as I avoided looking at the scientist neighbor and try to determine how to feel about all these comments. Again, he chuckles. “You look adorable,” he said before sipping his own container of soup. “Had I known you could make my clothes look so cute, I might hope you’d get caught in the rain more.” 

“Huh?” Did I hear him right? Not paying attention, I burn my lip on the hot broth. “Ah, hot…”

“Here, let me cool that off for you.” Lucien took the spoon from me and moved to sit closer, practically shoulder to shoulder with the professor. He scooped up the broth and blew on it, steam being blown away. “Here,” the spoon was brought close to my mouth and I froze, looking between spoon and wielded. “You need your strength. You won’t have this opportunity to be fed by a world renowned professor, after all.” Knowing he would say I couldn’t take care of myself, I caved in and allowed Lucien to feed me. All the while, he wore that worried smile. “So cute,” he muttered. I blamed the soup for my face feeling so hot. 

The rest of the night was spent watching movies on Lucien’s tablet until I fell asleep. I think I protested staying the night but all I remember was feeling lifted into the air before I lost consciousness. 

**********

Lucien had made sure the movie they watched was something [___] liked. He honestly didn’t know since he never had time to even think about dating. His life was spent with his work. But there was something about her that made him think outside his usual boundaries. Somehow, he felt the desire to keep her safe. 

When he saw her outside, taking shelter from the rain, he knew right away that she was so focused on her own work that she didn’t think to get an umbrella. As she began to doze, Lucien brushed hair from her brow as she leaned slightly against him. Soft fringes fell against warm skin as he felt her forehead. “Hmm, you’re burning up,” 

The only reaction he got was a slight shift and a sigh. The movie had been playing all this time, but no one was paying attention to it. The person it was meant for has fallen asleep and the person that provided it was more interested in watching the other sleep peacefully. 

Before the movie was over, Lucien carefully lifted [___] into his arms as if she were as light as a doll and carried her into the bedroom. There, she was placed on the bed and tucked in for the night. He left her there, door ajar, and returned to the living room where he closed the movie app and opened some research material. It would be a long night and he wanted to make sure he was awake in case she needed him again.