#goodbye windchime of hell

[infinitesplinters]

Heads Up

I was not magnificent at all. Where does this road end? Hollow ink and forever unfree. Having everything you wanted, it feels like no thing. The grief comes at once. Flimsy reeds. Let us go, then vacant signs are ourselves. More true than art. How did this happen so many times. Sore from falling. Broken strings across the sea. Nearly portrait of some 17th century ne'er do well, it is well with my soul. Meeting my maker, not now, too savage high. Cracked, undone, moving on without moving. No shade even trapped in this apartment. Hell is yourself unfiltered. Gain from lonesome struggle, to be alone in bed with another, like I did anything to merit such mercy. This is the thing about dying: it doesn't really affect you. Until it does. Where does this end, where does this make sense, where does this enough make enough. This raft has fallen apart. To drown would be grace. Let the waters rise over me. Let the time consume me. Waited for the remedy, when it no longer works. Inhuman calumny, cast away the beliefs. Captain of nothing, capturing this barren coast, this fantasy, real time love, denied by the craving, to seem together. I am with myself too much. Lost them all, given so many, how to repair what can't be made whole. Ruminating on the black sweater unwound. The Baptist, the dog, the girl, the little lies I tell my shadow. A fragrant way of killing the mystery. Only an ether of me. Not really here. Just doing what I think others would have me do. Not even very rote upon the rope. Can i be another kind of man? Who was he who ordered those tickets. Collected books for the gospel, none matters but now. Vaping in my sleep. Now I know why he left a chew in at night. The only thing that matters now is how I treat. Slaying myself on my actions, correspondence with Mephisto all along. Stained moon, night comes too fast. Returns to you. Deaf dumb blind like grace, to have seen so much. This human life on wax. Wake up from this dream. Wake up from this selfish calamity trauma honored and fake eyelashes covering my soft skin. When the glass is broken, all that's left is your arms that I ignore. If only I could do enough to earn the seat. Except for pulling, sitting still, listening, collapsing. Put back together only by chance: the heart of those that love me despite. Kiss yourself goodbye when the windchimes play. Long mountain, the flood has ended if I'd stop swimming. Look, I bow down to the symbol but cannot carry it in my soul. Carried until ghost, merry wedding cake. Eat it with your flesh. Tastes like forgiveness or failure. If only fire could come down. To walk the coals again. Somehow differently. Without pretense. The shame is still there, even as I deny it. Gallantly lying to everyone. To be burned, the breast of the earth, holding this body aloft, articles of what necessary death. I try to hold my head up.

[cygnus-arts]

PLEASE RELEASE THE NOTES ABOUT THE LOTR AU (please 🥲 ?). I am still in renkaza hell/denial

okay this is going to be long and very messy. this is literally pulled directly from my notes app with no editing, so it’s largely incomprehensible, but i hope you enjoy the smattering of quotes and plot elements

lotr au outline

CHAPTER ONE- RIVENDELL ARC

- [x] kaname delivers news of nezuko badly wounded by ringwraiths on the way to rivendell, kyojuro runs to leave

- [x] kyojuro assures senjuro he is coming back and for senjuro to prepare healing stuff “you remember what mother taught us to fend off the darkness”, senjuro watches him ride, windchime blowing with him, “brother, should you know watching you leave has grown harder each time, would you still do so”, “don’t tell father”

- [ ] kyojuro rides out, finds the pair, does the arwen thing and brings nezuko back,

- [ ] ruka flashback #1, showing boys how do elvish healing, kyojuro fails miserably, senjuro excels, shows him healing nezuko, she wakes up

- [ ] senjuro notices how they are the same age and the horror that a child is carrying a ring “they expect you to carry a burden with no knowledge of its weight and no connection to its crimes” “they killed my family to get it, i can’t stop now… besides, where else am i meant to go, how can i live on normally knowing they’ll never get the chance” “you carry a heavy burden, don’t carry the weight of the dead”

- [ ] kyojuro hears people talking and throws open the door, properly introduces himself to nezuko, gifts her senjuro’s unused mithril armor, senjuro looks away, and tells her of the meeting to determine what do to with the ring

- [ ] council of elrond scene, uzui as dwarf tries to flamboyantly destroy the ring, infighting, nezuko declares she will take it, tanjiro declares he’ll go with her, and senjuro is shocked and saddened kyo offers his sword to protect the siblings

- [ ] kyo visits his father, boromir dialogue, shinjuro insists on having the ring with the idea that it will bring strength back to the rengoku’s, and maybe even bring ruka back, our family is a ruined imitation of what it once was

- [ ] kyo and nezuko say their goodbyes to senjuro, all three head out

- [ ] senjuro flashback, cooking with kyo, elven waybread, kyo’s is burnt, he drops flour all over himself, senjuro make extra for his journey knowing this would happen, ruffle hair moment

- [ ] a few shots of traveling through different terrain, cut to them eating the waybread on the road with the pair, kyojuro picks flowers that senjuro uses for healing stuff, “how many did you eat” “4”

- [ ] more on the road shit, nezuko: i wish the ring had never come to me, i wish none of this had happened”, kyojuro: so do all who live to see such times, but that is not for them to decide, all we have to do is decide what to do with the time that is given to us. there are other forces at work in this world nezuko, besides the will of evil”

- [ ] kyojuro boromir moment after accidentally touching the ring catching nezuko tripping in the woods, momentarily corrupted (hears the voice of the ring, visibly stops and basically sees the muzan dream scene of a normal life with his family), hand reaches towards the ring, sees nezuko’s expression look just like senjuro’s after hearing his father, and retracts his hand , sees akaza in the distance, steps in front of nezuko, sword raised akaza silhouette

- [ ] ruka flashback #2, promise scene, kyojuro walks in after elven healers can’t do anything to help (she’s human)

- [ ] kyo and akaza fight scene, uses horn to try to call for aid, it’s broken by akaza, (boromir vibes, kyo is gravely injured and buys the pair a chance to run), giyu sees kyojuro fallen, akaza reluctantly leaves dying kyo behind to chase after them

- [ ] kyojuro flashback #1, telling senjuro his plan to live as mortal, encouraging him to do what he thinks he right, “you have a brother who believes in his little brother”

- [ ] rides horse bloodied aragorn style back to nearest settlement, akaza reminisces about the fight and wonders if kyo is still alive

- [ ] shinjuro hears of his sons presumed death, (crow delivers news) senjuro in corner overhears and packs, trans of gender scene, “would you still believe in me if I was someone else”, puts on something of ruka’s design

CHAPTER TWO- ROHAN ARC

- [ ] shinobu treats kyo, with injuries flashing back to kanae’s as narration describes them, mitsuri announces the knights arrival

- [ ] kyojuro wakes up, wild hair! shinobu grills him about why the fuck he is here, kyo reveals the ringwraith, shinobu’s hand curls around her quill

- [ ] iguro, sanemi and other rohirrim return, shinobu and mitsuri conflict “go see their return mitsuri, it’s what you wanted right?” “what i wanted” “men with strength, who knows, maybe they found a wedding band among the corpses”, “i only mentioned their return to get you out of these dungeons. when was the last time you saw the sun shinobu?” “i have a patient, and will promptly have more”

- [ ] kayaga as theoden, corrupted and with his illness, shinobu and his kids try to talk to him of the incoming threat

- [ ] kyojuro while walking as part of his healing overhears the movements of muzan’s forces, vows to aid them

- [ ] akaza visits when curiosity gets the better of him after hearing that a man looking like kyo was seen riding to rohan, displays knowledge of medicine that piques kyo’s interest, rest of the soldiers are out patrolling, so there are no viable people to call

- [ ] kyo challenges akaza’s humanity after offering him to join Muzan, and kyo snaps “what would you know of honor? how many have been left dead in your wake” flashback to the backstory bodies TM but faceless, sounds of rohirrim returning force akaza to flee

- [ ] kyojuro tells shinobu of akaza’s visit, shinobu tells him that as long as he is not able to kill akaza, it’s best to use him for information, “the lands of mordor and their weapons have been unknown except for their capacity for slaughter”

- [ ] senjuro rides out of rivendell, flashback of training and her remarking on her lack of dexterity, orc attack that she narrowly survives when rohhirim arrive and see the very obvious family resemblance

- [ ] sanemi and senjuro talk about what she’s doing out here, telling her kyo’s alive, sanemi vulnerable moment thinking about genya

- [ ] butterfly triplets/kanao doing laundry sees rohhirim return, run to find shinobu who is pouring over tomes about the kingdom of the dead and the ringwraiths

- [ ] sanemi enters the hall and yells to kyojuro very bluntly sen is here, reunion scene, sanemi and kocho stand and watch to the side

- [ ] akaza returns as kyojuro is outside building stamina, he stops and puts sword against his neck, akaza’s calls him out when his ribs start straining him, asks why an elf would be so insistent on battle, “do you often visit those you’ve injured” “you’re the first to have survived”, “then why not kill me now?” “kyojuro you should see your potential, the things you could achieve if you just abandoned these foolish tethers, don’t you want to be strong?” “and are you? strong, in any way but physical?” “why would i need anything else” “a pitiful existence you live” “save your pity for those who want it kyojuro”

- [ ] senjuro notices kayaga and offers to try and heal him, the corruption fades, but the illness remains

- [ ] kyojuro asks why akaza wants to get stronger, patented no memory distant stare, akaza asks kyojuro why he would give up immortality, tells of his promise to ruka, “to love is to loose”, “it is true that love is mingled with grief, but i would choose it all the same”

- [ ] akaza warns kyojuro of an attack on rohan, “you would tell your enemy of muzan’s attack” “there is no honor in slaughter against civilians, it’s underhanded” “when” “a days time” “will you be apart of it” “i am ordered to” “then i suppose you shall get the fight you have been seeking”

- [ ] retreat to helms deep, but gets ambushed on the way

- [ ] fight scene, mitsuri protects kocho who is frustrated at her lack of strength, akaza, basic orcs plus some extra demon moons, akaza sees kyojuro fighting alongside kanao, protecting her and sen, akaza sees a sneak attack towards them and blocks the arrow, kyojuro looks stunned, akaza calls for a retreat

- [ ] they arrive at helms deep, kyojuro contemplates why akaza would stop a fight

- [ ] akaza punishment scene

- [ ] shinobu telling mitsuri how she hates being weak, and how she wishes she was like kanae. mitsuri talks about how ostracized she felt for being strong, “i never felt like a proper girl, like i was just a boy in a dress who wanted to escape war, it seems that our actual abilities aren’t the problem shinobu, we’d feel defeated either way.” “your strength was never a fault” “neither was yours”

- [ ] kanao discovers shinobu’s plan, shinobu recounts how she figured out she was ilsidurs heir, “it’s funny isn’t it, that the fate of men lies in the hands of a girl who can’t even wield a sword”

- [ ] “what’s this, a soldier outside a keeps walls? we’re you waiting for me?” “i’m simply not used to being trapped in stone” kyojuro waits outside the walls of helms deep for akaza, akaza asks where kyojuro is from, “rivendell”kyojuro confessing to akaza that he doesn’t know how to fix his home and that it feels like cowardice to leave, “you’ve done all you can, the minds and hearts of others are not so easily changed” and asks akaza why he is so insistent on leaving mordor and the other orcs, “i won’t be leaving them for long, muzan will strike here soon” “will you fight for him?” “i was built to” “you were built as fodder, too many of our men may die at the hands of war, but at least we are given funerals when there are bodies left and thrown flowers before we face battle. orcs have no tombs” “you sound like you’re asking me to stay” “would you say yes” “it’s not that easy, in making me, i am bound to him” “you were human once, weren’t you? you were not always bound” “i can’t go back. i don’t want to be weak again” “i see” “let’s fight kyojuro (peace offering)

- [ ] they fight, akaza knocks kyo’s sword out of his hand, kyo does his best to fight back. akaza remakes on his skill and offers critique, “show me” “you’re asking an orc to teach you?” “you are the best bare fisted combatant i have faced! it’s a tactical choice” “okay tactician, arms up”

- [ ] they finish sparring, akaza leaves by telling kyojuro men have 2 days to prepare, kyojuro sees akaza leave and runs to tell the peeps

RANDOM MOMENTS:

kyojuro teaching akaza elvish 😭😭😭

kyo gives akaza the light of the valor necklace and it allows akaza to survive muzans pinishment

arwen scene of seeing her child, but it’s kyo seeing akaza as human

KYOJURO ABLE TO DO THR ARWEN DREAM TBINH TO AKAZA

“do orcs sleep?”

“we have no need to”

“you should try!”

“why kyojuro, so i’m easier to slay?”

“because it is enjoyable and a reprieve”

sanemi and iguro like legolas and gimli compare kill counts

shinobu as isildors heir?? her not fully understanding, but kanae telling her stories of family with great quests and full of rangers and knowing about natural poisons through that

shinobu screaming into the city for her sister, asking her to come back because she promised to always be there and thus broke her oath, she sees kanae and starts to walk towards her, but hears kanao grabbed by the ghost soldiers, turns after a moments hesitation to save her living sister rather than chasing ghosts

douma targets kanae because muzan knows that living heir, but not shinobu

pieces it together with her frantic research, develops poison because even with the blood of a king she is not strong enough to wield his sword

having to journey to the kingdom of the dead, whispers and fleeting glimpses of kanae,

kyokui, keizo, akaza’s father also there, renkaza separated from the kocho siblings, parallel scene of both kocho and akaza reaching out towards dead loved ones

climax of story: fight to distract muzan from tanjiro and nezuko, shinobu leading army of dead men, her and mitsuri defeating douma, renkaza fighting together and getting separated, akaza having to confront kokushibo or muzan,

getting kyo into mordor??

maybe using akaza as a way into mordor to sabotage muzan/gain intel/protect nezuko and tanjiro

- [ ] walking through pompeii’d town- keizo couldn’t move himself and kyoki fast enough given her health/ money

- [ ] DOUMA AS HEAD RINGWRAITH “no man can kill me”, kocho “i am no man”

- [ ] akaza showing kyo how to fight hand to hand >>>>

- [ ] hakuji flashback of running back to keizo and kyoki only to be buffeted by ash and see muzan in the middle of the cloud

“Akaza doesn’t understand how he can still love someone who has so clearly hurt him. It feels like self inflicted punishment, like kyojuro is resigning himself to a task he didn’t even want in the first place”- IS THIS HOW AKAZA THINKS HIS FATHER KYOKI AND KEIZO VIEWED HIM

keeping iguro and mitsuri friendship, they eat meals together

giyuu brings nezuko and tanjiro to rivendell

uzui as gimli type character, dwarf

zenitsu and inosuke as merry and pip

muichiro as legolas (spacey and a bit strange)

kyo as aragorn type

tamayo as gandalf/galladriel type, uses her blood dripped into the bowl for her prophetic magic

mitsuri fights with kyo

shinobu as eowyn type character, also fights with kyo “you’d inject yourself with poison to see him dead” “war will make corpses of us all”

shinomitsu!!! shinobu encourages her to not hide her strength

“there are people who already value your strength”

iguro and sanemi as rohhirim riders

shinobu and kanao scene of kanao discovering shinobus whole poison plot, kanao uses sign language

other ringwraiths are made of ice like doumas blood demon art

TRANS GIRL SENJURO, “i do not wish for an eternity of falsehoods”, putting on clothes very similar to ruka (maybe same headdress) before leaving after hearing of kyojuros death, her dying her hair black to match ruka, also she has chronic fatigue

“you are fodder, too many of our men may die at the hands of war, but at least we are given funerals when there are bodies left and thrown flowers before we face battle. orcs have no tombs”- kyo to akaza

nakime’s eye and infinity castle archecture as eye of sauron

rui as shelob

[spacedoutman]

【𝕻𝖞𝖌𝖒𝖆𝖑𝖎𝖔𝖓 | 𝕬 𝖐𝖎𝖘𝖘 𝖆𝖚】

(𝕻𝖆𝖗𝖙 6)

Description: Kiss was the perfect name for the infamous bank robbers who kissed everything goodbye to go out in a blaze of glory. Wreaking havoc on 1930s America, what happens when the chase ends?

♥ Paul Stanley x Reader

Note: Oh god... watch what you say, Doris. also the image is from the Asheville post card co and published around 1930-1945! How cool is that?

Warnings: None for this chapter

𝕽𝖊𝖆𝖉 𝖕𝖆𝖗𝖙 7 / 𝖕𝖆𝖗𝖙 5 / 𝖕𝖆𝖗𝖙 1 / 𝖆𝖔3

The next day

“There’s someone else I’d die for you to meet.” Doris’ voice flooded with joy. She stopped. Fine China dishes piled in her hands like a stereotypical waiter. You wondered how the hell they didn’t fall.

Doris set some down quicker than a heartbeat. She looked at you with a wide enthusiastic grin. “My sister. She’s coming up from Asheville to meet us.”

You’d heard a lot about Doris’ sister. Her New York accent was apparently so strong she couldn’t be understood. “She always asks me how and why I’m here.” Doris shrugged casually, putting more dishes down. The dark oak table glistened. You set down the ornate glasses bunched in your arms. “I tell her every god-damned time—Love takes you places.”

You two broke into laughs. Doris waved her hand dismissively. Kenneth ran past, screaming like some axe murder was chasing him. He tripped over himself, crashing into the sink. He glanced over his shoulder. A terrified gasp left with all the air in his lungs as his eyes widened in mock terror. He jumped up and ran. Eloise laughed happily as she chased him with a paper airplane.

Doris giggled. You couldn’t help but to smile. “You’ ever considered having kids?” She asked lightheartedly, heading over to the dish rack. The little window above the sink lit up the pastel yellow walls. The sunflowers painted on it looked like they’d pop out at you.

“Paul’s enough.” You joked. Doris burst into laughter.

“Don’t.” Her voice dropped. “Just don’t.”

She snickered. “Maybe sooner or later when you’ve got everything figured out—but no matter what, don’t. I waited.”

“Thank you, Doris.” You said softly. She nodded with glee.

“Now, she’ll be up around dinner with a couple if that’s alright with you.”

“It is, completely.”

“Thank you, doll.”

Doris’ gaze snapped to yours. She threw up her finger. “She’s coming with her friend, Dale.” Her cheer blared like windchimes. “He’s an agent in Hollywood and he’s heard word about you wanting to be an actress.” Your jaw plummeted and your heart went the opposite way. Anything you could say fled like the loser in a skirmish.

Your eyes wandered from her.. to the dish to—was this really happening? You quickly put all your dishes down. “Is it true?” Excitement poured from your voice. Your brows drew together. Your hand eased over your heart. Doris raised an eyebrow, twinkling.

“Would I lie to you?” She teased. “But for now, I think you should go home.”

You nodded quickly.

“They’ll be over this weekend! I’ll swoop around to pick you up sometime around breakfast once I’m certain.”

Your head grew so light in an instant you stumbled. Doris slid her dishes on the table quick as a mouse and ran over, wrapping an arm around you. You laid your head against her arm and sighed so big the air flew from your lungs. “Thank you so much.” You murmured. Her touch was gentle as the spring sun. She laughed happily.

“You can count on me.”

A couple hours later.

Doris wheeled around and sped off. You stood on jello legs feeling like you’d swallowed heaps of sugar. Your body raced quicker than your head. You waved, pumped with enthusiasm. You turned around and started on your—what? You squinted. It sure seemed like you had your hands cupped around your eyes to make binoculars.

A black, shining blotch hid behind a thin row of trees. You pursed your lips. Your eyes hit the ground. Deep tire tracks ran all the way to it. Your eyes widened quickly. Your palms moistened. You took a single step back. Your legs stiffened. ‘Oh my god.’ You thought through shaky breaths, trying to be as quiet as possible. Another step back-

“Wait!”

“I HAVE NOTHING TO ROB!” You said in a shrill scream, praying one of the neighbors would hear you.

You froze. Your face of pure terror melted into a flat one. You dusted your shoulders. Gene stood, wide-eyed in the doorway. He looked like his heart would leap out of his throat. You calmly walked over.

“Gene, what is that?” You said plainly, gesturing at the car.

“Paul and I have a lot of explaining to do.” He said through grit teeth, his eyes darting from it to you. An overly wide grima—grin shone on his face.

You raised your brows. He looked down, sinking in on himself. “If you weren’t Gene I’d..” ‘What the hell?’ You blinked rapidly for a split second before your eyes flew wide. “Paul’s home??!” Gene sighed deeply. “How long have you two been here?”

“Two days.”

“You two have been here for two days..?” You doubted, crossing your arms loosely.

… Your expression softened.

“What happened?”

Gene lightly scratched the nape of his neck. He froze, closing his eyes and composing himself. “Come inside.” He turned all low and sappy. He backed up, holding the door wide open for you. You walked in. He eased it together. Paul snapped up like a bent ruler. His scared face melted into a loving one—then a terrified one. He stood up.

You gasped as he stumbled back. You and Gene ran over at lightning speed, taking him by the arms and sitting him back on the sofa. You two sat down. You took Paul by his shoulder and brushed his hair out of his face. Paul’s eyes shut a bit tight. He was unusually small. “Paul.” You said sternly, tightening your grip. “What’s going on?”

“We.. uh.. we robbed a gas station.” He blurted.

Every emotion humanly possible flickered on your face as you froze up. Paul’s shoulders curled in tightly. He looked away. Your heart bounced around your chest like a ping pong ball.

“.. you robbed a gas station.”

You raised your trembling hand and pointed. Paul slowly nodded. He sighed. “Gene and I.. robbed… the gas station.” He was as glum as a rain cloud. You threw your hands to your sides, looking at him like he was insane. All you wanted to ask: ‘Why?’ Paul sighed… again.

“Look.” He cupped your hands in his warm palms, leaning close. “Gene and I.. we got a bit desperate. We were out of gas.. a-and the truck was falling apart.”

He swallowed. Hard. You froze again. Your mouth fell open. You looked from him to Gene to Gene at your hands to-You shook your head quickly. “What now??” You spluttered. “They’ve probably got the feds after y-you or something!” Paul closed his eyes.

“Gene and I.. we talked it over and he a-and I are going on the road.”

“And where would you two go?” Your voice sharpened like a blade. “How far could you go?”

“.. Don’t you worry. Please.”

“Well I have to cause’ I’m coming along.”

[diguerra-moved]

Alleria Windrunner I know this is the right number to reach you on! Now hand over your son! The Light will heal his scars! It is his destiny and it will make him new!

the number you called is currently unavailable or out of the coverage area please try again later

[tickle-bugs]

Reignite

Summary: Dean stumbles--or is cosmically shoved, more like--back upon the largest loose end in his life. This is one knot he won’t leave untied.

Took me a year (couldn’t resist the dad joke) but here’s my SPNFluffsgiving fic! I ended up writing two fics and frankensteining them together because I wasn’t happy with either on their own, and I think, all things considered, it turned out well!!! Tried something new with the present-tense vs my usual past tense, which was very, very hard for some reason. Anyways, enjoy!

Spoilers for Supernatural episode 15 x 19 through the finale ahead!

“What’s eating ya?” Bobby takes a swig of his beer and eyes Dean sideways. 

“Nothin’.” 

“We have all of eternity to sit here. Don’t think I won’t.” Bobby flicks the bottle cap at him and chuckles when it bounces off his shoulder. 

“I like it here. It’s nice. Quiet.”

“But…?” Bobby looks at him in that very Bobby-like way, that strange blend of impatience and kindness that leaves no room to doubt that he cares.  

“Something is just...wrong? I dunno. I felt a little better when Sam got here, but I still have this weight on my chest. Like something is missing. I dunno.” Dean taps his fingers against the beer bottle and slumps down in his chair. He heaves a breath that gets stuck somewhere between a sigh and a groan.

“You’re saying ‘I don’t know’ a lot for someone who seems to know exactly what’s buggin’ ya.” Bobby raises his beer in a silent ‘I’ll drink to that’. 

“If I knew, I wouldn’t be talking to you,” Dean grumbles, kicking a pebble off of the Roadhouse porch. Bobby whips off his hat and smacks Dean’s arm, then his leg, then his stomach which really wasn’t cool. 

“Ow! Okay, I’m sorry! Back off!” Dean raises his arms to shield from Bobby’s wrath, biting back a comment about Bobby being a crotchety old man. 

“Think about it. Who’s the only person you haven’t seen since you made it here?” Bobby makes a little bird with his hands and raises his eyebrows as if Dean’s first thought wasn’t of teary blue eyes.

“Cas is in the Empty, Bobby. He’s gone. It just swallowed him like--like nothing.” Dean’s voice breaks and he knocks back his beer to hide it. 

“Jack must have built this magic box wrong. You’re supposed to feel it when a loved one arrives.”

“What?”

“Cas is here, Dean. He helped put this all together.” 

The world shrinks to a pinpoint. The beer bottle slips from Dean’s fingers and his attempt to catch it sends it soaring into the road, where it rolls far enough to qualify as a lost cause. The image of a teary Cas, seconds before destruction, grabs a swift and tight hold of the front of his mind. 

I love you.

“Bobby-”

“Are you really gonna waste your breath arguing with me when I just told you that he’s out there? This may be heaven, but I can still kick your ass.” Bobby narrows his eyes at Dean. 

Why does this feel like a goodbye?

Because it is.

“But-”

“Go after him, Dean.  You made him wait this long already.” Bobby squeezes Dean’s shoulder and shakes him a little, fixing him with those kind-but-tough eyes. Dean sighs and rubs a hand over his face, hissing when cold metal pokes him in the eye.

Baby’s keyring dangles from his finger, clinking gently as it collides with his palm. He sighs and shoves it in his pocket, making sure to shake the little ring off of his finger. 

Weird. 

“Can’t escape what your heart wants.” Bobby gestures towards Dean’s hand with an infuriating little smirk, like he knows something Dean doesn’t. 

“That doesn’t mean jack shit,” Dean grumbles. 

“Sure, and I’m President Roosevelt.” Bobby rolls his eyes. 

“Which one?”

“Teddy, obviously.” Bobby leans back in his seat with a chuckle. Dean scratches at his cheek and grunts when, once again, metal digs into his skin. Baby’s keys jingle menacingly at him, like a pushy set of windchimes, and they don’t budge when he tries to shake them away. He turns his hand upside-down and scrapes the keys off like a stubborn piece of gum, but they reappear in the other hand.

“What the fuck?” He holds them up to eye level and they sway in the breeze, jingling again. He drops them and they zoom right back into his hand, like a lame Mjolnir, and okay, someone has to be messing with him. He shakes them a few times to detect any evil (a foolproof method, in his opinion) and Baby’s car alarm starts blaring much louder than it should.

“Dean.”

“Alright, I’m going!” He trudges away from the porch, grumbling under his breath, and the car’s alarm shuts off with a pleasant chirp.

“Tell him I said hi!” Bobby waves and watches the Impala pull onto the open road, raising his beer until he disappears from Dean’s rearview. 

…

Dean cuts the ignition and slides out of the Impala, squinting against the sudden warm breeze. It’s quiet out here. If it wasn’t for the constant tugging on his soul, like a bratty kid demanding attention, it would be nice. Peaceful, even.

He leans against the bridge railing and closes his eyes against the next gust of wind, this one much more powerful than the first. Everything in the vicinity rustles as the wind dances by. He leans his forehead against his hands and sighs.

What the hell would he even say?

There’s no manual for this, no prior experience or family legend to consult. Jesus, he’s like a teenager trying to apologize for standing up a date. He’d ditched Cas at the celestial prom, and now he has to face the music. No more asking Dad to leave early for the next hunt so he wouldn’t have to face whichever girl he dumped. Grown-ass men face their weird, divine love affairs with dignity, not revenge hookups in the girl’s locker room. 

Highschool Dean would call Present Dean a bitch for even trying to chase after Cas.

Highschool Dean was a dick, anyway. 

Okay, he needs a gameplan. Stay calm, cool, and collected--like he’s working a case. Cas doesn’t need to know about the butterflies rioting in his stomach. Dean would be smooth and chill. They’ll talk like adults--yeah, that’s it. Grown-ass men, and whatnot. He’d just send Cas a message on angel radio, he’d zip on down, and they’d be hunkydory--

“Hello, Dean.”

Shit.

He whips around, his throat already closing up in mutiny. Just seeing Cas is a punch in the gut--he looks just as Dean remembers, if not better. It’s as if not a day has passed since the Bunker, and god, Dean might not be qualified for this. 

Cas smiles timidly as he steps forward, hands shoved awkwardly into his coat pockets. His head’s bowed, as if he’s in trouble, as if Dean would scold him for who fucking knows what, and his blood boils at the thought. 

“Dean?” Cas tilts his head.

Something grips Dean, something powerful and terrifying in its ferocity. A force he doesn’t understand surges at the bounds of his body, welling up into his throat, his heart, his lungs. Tears spill from him at a terrifying rate but he’s numb and aching all at once. He’s shaking--no, trembling--and he pulls Cas into a kiss before he loses his nerve. 

If he could quantify the triumph of nearly two decades of suffocating pining, he’d say it tastes like stale peppermint. He makes a mental note to lecture Cas about his choice in gum later—spearmint is obviously superior. 

Dean pulls away when his gross, sticky hiccups start to interfere with the sweetness of the kiss. He feels disgusting but he couldn’t stop crying if he wanted to. 

Definitely not one of his highlight moments. 

“Cas,” he croaks. Cas, Cas, Cas, loops in his head, interfering with the static everything else he needs to say. A tumultuous wave of words presses against his lips and he focuses all of his energy on getting them out. 

“It’s alright. You’re alright.” Cas cradles Dean’s face in his hands, swiping away tears with his thumbs, but he’s sobbing so hard that it doesn’t make a difference. His ‘calm, cool, and collected’ plan is effectively blown to hell and he curses himself for it.  

“You shouldn’t have gone out like that, man. Fuck, I should have said something-”

“Dean, it’s alright--”

“No, it isn’t. I screwed up, Cas. I screwed up so fuckin’ bad.” Dean blinks at a tear-warped Cas, gripping his forearms as if he’d disappear in the breeze. 

“When you said...what you said, I thought it back. It was easier to say in my head but I should’ve said it out loud. You deserve to hear it. You deserve everything.” Speaking his mind is like willingly chugging motor oil. He swallows thickly as his thoughts start to align into some semblance of clarity. 

“You deserved more time,” Cas murmurs, and he has the nerve to look upset. He always wanted to give Dean more, so much more than he ever deserved. 

“Shut up,” Dean growls. Some switch flips in him, some bristly protectiveness that has him wanting to shake the angel like a margarita until he finally admits his worth. 

“Dean--”

“Nope. No more heroic bullshit. You’ve given enough, Cas. It’s enough. You’re enough.” Dean grips Cas’s shoulders and stares him down. Cas opens his mouth to retort but whatever expression is on Dean’s face presumably shuts him up. 

“You’ve always had me, Cas. You will always have me. I have never loved anyone the way I love you.” Finally, finally, the words tumble out without a second thought. Dean’s death grip on Cas’s shoulders loosens. He did it. 

“I love you too, Dean. I’ve loved you since the very beginning.” Cas smiles, as if it’s simple. 

“Gross,” Dean quips on instinct, and he regrets it the second it comes out. 

“You’re gross,” Cas fires back, squinty eyes and all, and Dean barks out a laugh that startles them both.

“C’mere.” Dean pulls him into a hug, cradling the back of Cas’s neck with his hand, and resolves never to let him go. Never again.

...

“Dean Novak ain’t bad,” Dean murmurs, rubbing a hand over Cas’s bare shoulder. The angel’s nestled into his side, huffing warm breaths into his collarbone, and he would rather die again than forget the feeling of Cas’s sleepwarm skin. 

“Mm. Castiel Winchester.” His lips graze over Dean’s chest in a low effort sort-of kiss. 

“You shouldn’t have to carry that name, after everything.”

“Hyphenation isn’t uncommon. Winchester-Novak?” Cas tilts his head up and scoots just slightly, trying to preserve his warm spot in Dean’s arms. He presses a proper kiss to the base of Dean’s throat and hums when he twitches away. 

“Sounds less like a name and more like a spell.” Dean snorts, and Cas swats his shoulder.

“I fell in love with you, Dean Winchester, and it would be an honor to carry that name. Even if it is completely ceremonial.” Cas turns Dean’s face down towards him, forcing their eyes to meet. Dean’s a little more than breathless at the way Cas’s eyes catch the moonlight but he still manages to grin. 

“Winchester is a dumb name, sorry.” 

“You are blatantly disrespecting my fiancé.” Cas squints at him. 

“Hmm, am I?” Dean’s eyes flit down to Cas’s lips, tongue flicking against his teeth. 

“Yes.”

“Your fiancé is a dumbass for not proposing to you sooner.” Dean cradles the back of Cas’s head, absently scratching his fingers along the scalp.

“He absolutely is. But only I get to say that about him.” Cas’s face settles into a steely neutrality betrayed only by the sparkle in his eye. Dean leans in closer but Cas stops him with a finger over his lips.

“Apologize.”

“Wh--are you serious?” 

“Apologize, Dean.” Cas pushes himself up on his elbow and cocks his eyebrow.

“You want me to apologize...to myself?” Dean chuckles in disbelief, waiting for Cas to admit he’s joking, but all he receives are wide, blinking blue eyes. 

“Perhaps you need some encouragement,” Cas murmurs, his lips quirking into a smirk. Before Dean can protest, Cas throws his leg over Dean’s and buries his nimble fingers into his ribs. 

“Wait, Cas--ahaha!”

“If the next words out of your mouth aren’t kind towards yourself, I don’t want to hear them.” Cas leans up to nip at Dean’s ear, burying a few chuckles directly behind it. His fingers trail down Dean’s body, pinching every inch of his ribs and sides.

What leaves Dean next is less words and more a verbal error noise. He arches away, desperately shoving at Cas’s shoulders. All he does is turn himself around, and Cas is very quick to wrap him up in his arms. His fingers press into Dean’s lower stomach and trip over one another like he’s gliding over piano keys. 

Dean curls, arms folded over his middle. Cas manages a cheeky pinch to the back of Dean’s thigh and he squeaks--apparently Cas likes that noise because an avalanche of more pinches follow. 

Dean doesn’t expect him to find that devastating spot near his armpit on the first fucking try, but Cas is full of surprises and Dean is full of laughter. He clamps his arms to his sides but it barely makes a difference. Fireworks overwhelm his nervous system. In Cas’s arms, he feels like he’s flying--but he can’t tell if it’s the lack of air or the endolphins. Endorphins. Whatever. 

“Cas!” His name floats out of Dean, blanketed in crinkly-eyed, heartwarming laughter. It’s all he wants to hear for the rest of eternity. 

“You are everything to me.” Cas doesn’t expect Dean to hear him over his near-violent giggles, but Dean squeezes his wrist twice to acknowledge him where his voice can’t. His fingers slow, gently trailing over pinkened skin, and Dean slowly remembers how to breathe. 

“We can renegotiate the name thing. Maybe,” Dean wheezes, and his shit-eating grin is nearly audible. Cas rolls his eyes and scribbles at Dean’s exposed hip, following each turn, twist, and twitch. For the first few moments, he’s concerningly quiet, only squirming with strangled noises, but within seconds his laughter catches back up with his brain and he’s cackling into the mattress. 

“Maybe? Is that your final answer?”

“Nonono, please Cas!” Dean shrieks, kicking his legs as if it will help. He flails all the way to the edge of the bed but Cas is quick to pull him back into his arms. His tickly touch turns calming in an instant, tracing over muscle lines and battle scars as they both resettle. 

“We’ll work on it. Together.” Cas flips him over and steals a quick kiss, drinking up the leftover laughter. Dean’s joy is sweet on his tongue. 

“Together,” Dean murmurs, leaning their foreheads together. 

Holding his lover—Castiel, his Castiel—in the moonlight is all that Dean Winchester-Novak could ever ask for.

There was happiness in the having, after all. 

[btsslowburnfic]

BTBY Ch. 18

Series Summary:  For Namjoon, the moment he set his sights on being the #1 rapper, he pushed the symbol to the side and hated it. Love should be chosen, not forced on you. He didn’t believe in fate and this mark on his wrist was a big “fuck you” to all that.

AN: Sorry the taglist hasn’t been working. I’ve started tagging my local to check  -_-  Let’s get these two back together, what do y’all say??  Previous chapter here --------------

Time passed on with you living on Joe and Xavier’s couch. You had gotten into the habit of texting Namjoon on a semi-regular basis. Sometimes about important stuff, but mostly, and surprisingly it was about dumb shit. He would send you photos from the cities where they were touring or of food. It was finally your turn to return the favor. 

Joe and Xavier got married a few months after you moved in. Joe was offered a position with a Broadcasting company in New York City that was too good to pass up, and so the three of you all packed up and began the long drive to your new two bedroom apartment in New Jersey. 

NJ: What exactly am I looking at here?

Y/N: The World’s Largest Mailbox.

NJ:.........

Y/N: And here is the World’s Largest rocking chair.

NJ: Why am I looking at these things?

Y/N: Haha, haven’t you ever been on a road trip? We’re stopping to see weird things along the way.

NJ: No. I haven’t. My family always vacationed in the same places growing up and management shuttles us around.

Y/N: ha! Well next time you come to the USA I am sneaking you out for a road trip. 

NJ: You’ll have to do all the driving sweetheart, I don’t have a license.

Y/N: Waaaat?! Really? Fine. You can be in charge of navigating.

NJ: That is also a bad idea but I admire your excitement. G2g, interviews. So. Many. Interviews.

You smiled and put the phone back into your purse. You had saved a table for the three of you in the diner next to the World's Largest wind chime. 

“More coffee, honey?” The waitress asked, holding the regular and decaf pots as she made the rounds.

“Yes please. And 2 more menus. My friends are walking over now.”

“Sure thing.”

You put your hands around the cup, enjoying the feeling of warmth spreading through your fingers.  It was early in the morning and you were trying to give them some private time in the hotel room so you had left early to do sightseeing in the small town of Casey, Illinois. It had not disappointed with it’s array of random big shit. 

You heard the bell ding and saw the two men enter, looking sleepy but happy. You didn’t need to wave seeing as there were only ten tables in the whole place, but you did so anyways out of habit.

They sat across from you, as the server walked over and handed them some menus. “Good morning fellas. What can I get you to drink?”

“Coffee.” They responded in unison and then laughed.

“You got it.” She walked away from the table.

“Did you guys check out the windchime?” You asked.

Xavier squinted at you, “Darling, you are way too happy for this early in the morning. No. I have not looked at a windchime.”

Joe put his arm around his husband’s shoulder. “I’m sure we’ll look after we have breakfast though. Why are you in such a great mood this early?”

“No reason. I guess I just think the town is cute and weird.” Your phone pinged.

“You’ve been talking to your boyfriend-not boyfriend.” Xavier said.

You rolled your eyes at first but then a smile crept across your face, “Well I guess I was excited to finally have some pictures worth sharing. He always sends pictures from everywhere that look super cool. And I never have anything other than coffee and LA traffic. Which he has already seen. So unimpressive.” 

The waitress dropped the coffee off at the table and then took the food order. You took your phone out and snuck a peek while Xavier and Joe were discussing the merits of turkey sausage versus regular. 

NJ: You should come see me sometime.

Your eyes grew wide and you threw your phone back in your purse as though it was made of poison. That was a sudden shift in conversation.

“What the hell?” Xavier laughed.

Your eyes remained wide as you looked at both of them. You had imagined visiting him, but to you it was just a pipe dream. Your texts were never romantic in nature or anything. The two of you never mentioned the soulmark or the nights you had spent together or anything, You bit your lip nervously. “He asked me to come visit him. After we get all settled in New York.”

“Fucking go. Book that flight now.” Xavier exclaimed loudly, drawing a few looks from some of the older locals. 

You laughed nervously. “Why so we can awkwardly hang out, have sex, and then never speak of it again? I’ve already done that twice.”

“Yes. That is a great reason to go.” Joe deadpanned. “Absolutely. Go get that soulmate dick. Oh also, because you like him and you would get to see a different part of the world. And you’re between jobs right now. I can’t think of a reason not to go.”

You took a sip of your coffee. “I’ll think about it.”

-------------

“Has anyone seen my phone?” Namjoon asked. The other guys had been in the break room for a while, but as the leader he had a few more duties he needed to tend to before he could be done for the evening. The interviews had finally wrapped up for the day. They had done 6 online ones back to back. 3 in English and 3 in Korean.  He was exhausted from translating and answering questions. The guys were always extra chaotic during the English interviews.

“I think it’s over on the table.” Hoseok replied, sending some messages on his own phone.

Jimin got up quickly, pulling V along with him,“ we ordered food. See you guys later.” They left the room.

Yoongi was sitting at the table texting as well, “I’m hungry too. Why didn’t they invite me?” He pouted.

Namjoon picked up the phone to see if you had sent him any more weird pictures. He felt bad sending you pictures all the time from all over the world. He felt like a spoiled brat. He knew they had worked hard to get to where they were, but the fame and success and everything that came along with it still felt so foreign to him. He unlocked the phone and checked the messages.

“What the fuck?” He looked up from his phone. “Jimin! Taehyung!” He yelled. Of course it was pointless. ”Yoongi? Can you unsend a message once it’s sent?”

Yoongi blinked slowly, he was also tired and confused by Namjoon’s sudden yelling. “Why are you asking me? I don’t know. I don’t think so.”

“What did they do?” Jungkook, who had been quietly sitting on the couch next to Jin asked, his big doe eyes full of concern.

Namjoon scrunched up his face and wiped it with his hand, pausing to pinch the bridge of his nose. “They texted Y/N and told her I wanted her to visit.”

Jin let out a surprised laugh, “Oh my God.”

*Jungshook*

“Well you want to see her don’t you?” Yoongi said calmly

“I mean I do but she doesn’t want to see me. Remember? She left.” He replied. He was going to kill them. Maybe the IT staff at BigHit could help him. He grabbed his coat, determined to find out. 

“She left in the middle of the night because it’s hard to say goodbye. You’re the one who left the country.” Yoongi said, putting his phone down.

Namjoon looked over, sighing. His phone pinged.  

Y/N: Maybe ^_^ I don’t start work for a little bit after we get moved in. Let me know your schedule! I got my passport renewed.

Namjoon stood there opening and shutting his mouth a few times.

The room stayed quiet for several seconds.

“Did she answer you?” Jungkook tentatively asked.

Namjoon slipped his phone into his pocket and ran a hand through his hair. “She did. She wants to know my schedule.”

Yoongi got up. “Great. Jimin and Tae can live. I’m going to go join them for food.” NEXT CHAPTER @calling-dips-on-j-hope​  @ghostkat23​ @cuteipat​ @marianeamine​ @thisisval​ @almonte12​  @themisunderstoodblackswan  @bobbyboops  @betysotelo18 @katerbees

[trade-baby-blues]

Blink

Pairing: Jim x Reader 

Word Count: 2052

Warnings: angsty!! major injury, mentions of death, depression etc

A/N: Requested by an anon. Definitely more inspired by the song Andria by La Dispute than the song you sent me but...I hope it still satisfies you! Will also post it on AO3 later and update with a link to that as well!

“I promise I’m fine,” Jim said, flashing his best smile. He even squinted his eyes a little, hoping it would make it more realistic, but there was no fooling Teresa Ruiz. She regarded him the way one would a work of modern art at a museum. She looked at the lines on his face and tried to parse a meaning from them, tried to study every rise and valley in his skin as if it would reveal some great truth. She looked at him like he was infinite. It made Jim realize just how small he was. 

He leaned back, staring at the ceiling. He began to drum his fingers against the arm of the chair until he heard the scratch of pen on paper. “What are you writing now,” Jim asked, desperate to fill the silence. 

“My grocery list,” Teresa said nonchalantly. “At least one of us should get something out of this session.” 

“Look,” Jim said, leaning forward again, “we don’t have to keep doing this. You could just sign my release forms, and then I’ll be cleared for duty and out of your hair.” 

“I could.” Teresa kept writing. Jim watched her, listened to the scratching of the pen as it grew louder and louder until it seemed to be coming from inside his own skull. 

“You could, but?” 

“But I don’t believe you’re fine.” 

“God, how would you even know how I am when you’re writing your grocery list?” Jim threw himself back against the chair, allowing his hands to clench around the arms and shutting his eyes against the office and the world and her. 

Teresa sighed and dropped the notepad onto Jim’s lap. His eyes opened as his hands found the pages. “Oh,” he said softly. 

It wasn’t a grocery list. Of course it wasn’t a grocery list. 

Lack of interests. Refusal to open up. Fear of loss. Fear of silence. 

"Fear of airports," Jim quirked his eyebrow up. "How do you figure that one, doc?" 

Teresa leaned forward to grab her pad back. "Because your jaw clenches every time you mention it."

"I'm not scared of flying," Jim said, trying his best to relax his jaw. He hadn't noticed how tense it was until Teresa mentioned it. 

"I didn't say you were."

"And I'm not scared of silence either. That's all there is in space." 

"Prove it." 

Jim snapped his jaw shut and crossed his arms, fully aware that he was acting like a child. His eyes bounced wildly around the room from the clipboard in Teresa's hand to the clock on the wall which refused to go faster. Was it even moving at all? After an eternity, the secondhand dragged itself forward once. Twice. Three times.  

"Why would I be scared of airports?" 

"Because of what they represent." 

Jim scoffed. Still, his eyes bounced around the room. "And what's that?"

"You tell me."

"This is so stupid. They don't mean anything, and I've got better things to do that wax poetic about the 'deeper meaning'," Jim punctuated his outburst with finger quotes as he stood to leave the office. His hand was on the door handle when Teresa spoke again, freezing him in his tracks:

"Loss," she said. "They're full of goodbyes."

"Yeah, so is this office. Goodbye," Jim said as he pulled the door open. His mouth was curled in a smirk yet he couldn't help feeling like he'd lost this round. 

She doesn't know what she's talking about. Jim tried to comfort himself. This is pointless. I'm not scared of airports. They don't mean anything. 

Jim kept these reassurances up all the way back to your apartment - his apartment. It was just his now, he had to remind himself. He fought back a wince as he hit the light switch, half expecting you to be fast asleep on the couch as he often found you: hair loose around your chin, a thin spot of drool creeping from the corner of your mouth, and, if he really strained his ears, Jim could hear the softest snores drifting from your mouth to his ears. 

Instead, the silence roared at him until Jim turned on whatever was queued up on the music player. He turned the volume up until he could feel it in his teeth. He could hear Teresa’s voice in his head saying “scared of silence” and turned the music up more until even that became a distant whisper under the heavy bass. 

Jim could feel your hand on his, your fingers brushing his wrist. He held onto you like his life depended on it, like he would float away if you let go of him. You brushed your knuckles against his cheek and his eyes fluttered up to you. He couldn’t remember ever being this nervous. His heart beat faster than it ever had - faster than when he stole his step-dad’s car, faster than his first lift-off in the Enterprise. He felt dizzy on you. 

You giggled, trailing your fingers down his cheek to his lips as you leaned in. Your lips ghosted over his and Jim melted into you. 

His eyes opened, hands fisted into the sheets below him, and sighed. Jim rolled onto his back to stare at his ceiling. He could feel your lips on his still. His hands shook as much as they had the first time you kissed him. 

He was running now. Vines bit at Jim’s ankles, branches brushing his cheeks. He had to go faster. Had to catch up. Jim could hear you up ahead. Your shrieks floating to his ears, catching in his throat as he finally burst into the clearing, launching off the bank into the water. 

“Christ,” he yelled once his head was above water again. “You didn’t tell me the water was so cold.” 

Your laugh was like windchimes. “I thought the shrieking would be a hint.” 

“Oh, that was you? Thought maybe a velociraptor escaped.” You laughed again, splashing Jim with water as he swam closer. 

He reached out to touch your hair, but his hand went through you. A branch breaking to his left caught Jim’s attention. When he looked back, you were gone entirely. 

Jim’s eyes shot open, greeted once more by the blank ceiling. He spared a glance at his alarm clock. 3 a.m. With a groan, Jim turned onto his side, curling himself around a spare pillow and willing sleep to take him just to see you again. 

People were talking. Jim could hear them talking but couldn’t make out what they were saying. All he could focus on was your fingers on his wrist, your thumb brushing the skin where his palm and wrist met. His hands were shaking again. Why were they always shaking? 

“I’ll be back before you know it.” You slipped your hand under Jim’s chin, forcing him to look at you through those infuriatingly long lashes of his. 

“Do you have to go?” Jim’s voice was softer than he wanted and he winced, trying to shove away the image of a little boy scared of losing the person he loves most all over again. 

“That’s my line.” You stepped closer to Jim. The image of you clinging to his shirt as he left on mission after mission flew through Jim’s head. He felt a pang of guilt before you kissed it away. “It’s two days, babe. You’ll blink and it’ll be over.” 

And it was. 

Jim blinked and then his phone rang. A voice on the other end asked him to confirm his name. To confirm yours. Asked about your relationship. Jim excused himself from the mission briefing as his heart climbed higher and higher in his throat until it stopped entirely. 

“Yes, this is Jim Kirk. Yes, she’s my girlfriend. Yes, she was on a flight to New York. What do you mean the shuttle crashed?” 

The operator on the other line continued to talk, but Jim couldn’t hear it. “Wait, wait, start again,” Jim begged, hoping he could make it out this time. Surely, he’d misheard. There was a mistake. There had to be. 

Bones peeked his head out of the meeting room, eyeing his friend warily. Jim handed him the phone, still unable to process the words. Unable to process anything but the screeching in his ears and the sobs threatening to rip from his throat. Bones took the phone, calling after Jim as he sprinted away. 

The airport felt bigger now as he ran in. Why did he come here? What could they do? Jim couldn’t stop himself from running ahead to the gate, half expecting you to be waiting there for him. The sobs came freely now as he tried to push past the security checkpoint. Jim pleaded with the officer, not entirely sure what he was saying between shouting your name as if it could bring you back. 

A sob wracked Jim’s body as his eyes snapped back open. He took a breath. Ran a hand down his face. Maybe Teresa was right. Maybe he did hate airports. 

-

Jim hated hospitals too, but he was here. He was here for you. His hand shook as he pressed the elevator call button. The crinkling of cellophane filled the air as he tightened his grip on the flowers in his left hand. 

Jim blinked and the elevator came. He blinked and the doors opened again, letting him off. He blinked and he was at the door, hands clamped around the cool metal of the doorknob as he tried to remember how to breathe. 

You looked as angelic as ever, despite the monitors and IVs hooked up to your body. Jim swallowed against the growing lump in his throat. He placed the flowers on the bedside table as the beeping of the heart monitor filled the room, reminding his own heart to beat. 

“Hey,” he croaked out, reaching for your hand. It was limp in his. Clammy. “Good to see you.” 

Bones said talking to you would help, but what could he say? How could he talk about the minutiae of his day when you were in a coma? How could he say anything when he spent every second fighting against the guilt threatening to swallow him whole? Hell, Jim should’ve died. He should’ve died and Bones saved him, but he couldn’t save you. He couldn’t do anything but ensure you were ‘comfortable.’ 

How could this be comfortable? The starchy hospital sheets scraping against your skin. A tube down your throat helping you breath. Jim wanted to help you, but for the first time in his life he didn’t know what to do. He felt frozen. 

“I saw Teresa again yesterday. I hate to admit it, but I think she’s helping.” Jim laughed. “You’d really like her. She doesn’t put up with my shit either.” Jim closed his eyes, imagining your laugh. The smile made his muscles ache, too used to disuse. He could almost hear what you’d say. How your eyes would crinkle at the corners and your fingers would slip around his wrist again. The pressure was almost palpable. 

His eyes opened, focusing on the fingers brushing the skin where his palm met his wrist. A gentle squeeze which may as well have been around his throat as the breath left his lungs. His eyes shot to your face, still bruised in places Jim couldn’t wait to kiss. The pressure on his wrist came again just as he began to think he imagined it, and he watched your eyelids flutter open. 

Jim called for the nurses, never taking his eyes off you in case you disappeared again. The nurses worked quickly, not bothering to try and dislodge Jim. He’d been glued to your side since you were brought in. 

Your throat felt raw, voice cracking as you tried to speak. “It’s okay,” Jim said, pressing his forehead to yours, kissing the tip of your nose. Kissing your eyes, your cheek. Every inch of skin he could reach. “You don’t have to say anything.” 

“Guess it was a little more than two days, huh,” you croaked weakly. 

Jim couldn’t help but laugh as he blinked away tears. Nothing would interrupt his vision of you. He stroked your hair, half expecting to wake up alone in his own bed again. “That’s okay. I’ll always wait for you.” 

Tag List: (i stole this taglist of an earlier fic I posted so if you do/don’t want to be tagged let me know!)

@outside-the-government @martinawalker @thevalesofanduin @goingknowherewastaken @thefanficfaerie @brooke-taylor0323 @slither-in-a-half @cuddlememerrick @reading-in-moonlight​  

[thehorrcr]

SHOOTING STARS by @thehorrcr

[It’s a warm June night. The air is heavy with cicada songs. Silver moonlight is streaming down from the heavens, like musical notes in the night’s grand symphony. Two figures are sitting on a rooftop of a large, victorian-style house. While warm orange light spills from the first floor windows. The soft sound of music and laughter, drifting from an open door. The two figures on the rooftop though, sit away from the chatter, like a pair of boats far away from shore. Their lilting conversations, echoing through the night.]

DANTE: (laying back on the tiled roof) Do you think SOLI is really going to leave us, for Chicago?

ROSEMARY: (Gives him a funny look) That is the point of a ‘Goodbye Party’, right? Can’t really take it back once its done, can you?

DANTE: (Frowns deeply) It’s a lousy trade if you ask me.

ROSEMARY: What do you mean?

DANTE: Soli, leaving us for college. That’s like trading Messi for -

ROSEMARY: (Gives Dante a light, playful shove) Don’t bring your silly soccer teams into this, Dante Amezcua.

DANTE: (smiles up at Rosemary lazily. There’s something caught in his eye, that Rosemary can’t quite place her finger on. It resembles starlight, and makes her heart hiccup.)  I am going to miss her.

ROSEMARY: Me too.

DANTE (a dark expression crosses his soft features) Rosey, does it ever bother you how fast people can leave?

ROSEMARY: (contemplative)  Not really, but I guess I never really expect people to stay, either.

DANTE: (Runs a hand through his hair) It scares the hell out of me.

[A moment of heavy silence passes between the two. The air has gotten colder now, the sun’s warmth draining itself from the evening, like watercolors. The stars have grown brighter, so that ROSEMARY can almost see the Milky Way. Somewhere below them, there is the sound of laughter, echoing like windchimes through the quiet night. Although the noise is joyful, there’s a deep sort of sadness attached to everything. Purple and bruised, like the sky that stretches above them.]

DANTE: (his voice comes out evenly, but his words sound like mud) Do you remember when they took my dad?

ROSEMARY: (Her eyes don’t meet Dante’s, but she nods slowly) Dante…

DANTE: (shakes his head quickly) There are days where I feel like I was born just to miss everything. Like, my whole life exists just as a reminder of everything that I can’t keep.

ROSEMARY: (shifts so that she’s leaning over Dante’s head. She runs her fingers through his hair, gently)  That’s not true -

DANTE: (voice breaks) But that’s how I feel, Rosemary. It’s so lonely.

ROSEMARY: But you’re not alone, Dante. You have me. I am not going anywhere.

DANTE: (laughs a little, the noise is bitter) You can’t promise me that. Everyone says they’ll never leave and then… (voice trails off, Dante gets a faraway look on his face) And then, life happens.

[A shooting star falls from the sky like a teardrop. DANTE gasps and points up at it. They both remark at the phenomenon for a few moments.]

ROSEMARY: … maybe some people are meant to be our shooting stars.

DANTE: (frowns) What do you mean?

ROSEMARY: I mean, I think some people are supposed to come into our lives. I think we’re all on a crash course towards one another, like how the andromeda galaxy is supposed to collide with our own… and I think we’re meant to change each other. Like how gravity rips some things from deep space, or how asteroids scar the face of the moon. But… just like asteroids and shooting stars, people and things are made to change us, and then disappear.

DANTE: (grumbling)  That doesn’t make me feel much better, Rose.

ROSEMARY: But don’t you get it? That’s the wonderful part. (ROSEMARY points up at the moon) we marvel at the moon and her craters every night. People are supposed to walk in and out of our lives, and they’re supposed to hurt us, or heal us, or whatever. Just because they leave, doesn’t make the scars they gave us, any less beautiful. Do you look at shooting stars and think they’re useless because they’re gone all too quickly?

DANTE: (smiling softly) ...no.

ROSEMARY: Then, why do the same for anything else? You can’t spend your whole life mourning shooting stars, Dante. You can’t avert your eyes to all the ugly parts in life, or else you’ll miss the really beautiful ones, too.

[There’s the sound of a hatch opening. Orange light pours itself like spilled honey onto the blue rooftop. DANTE and ROSEMARY turn to see their friend, SOLI hoisting herself up onto the roof, and then walking towards them.]

SOLI: (Takes a seat next to her friends)  I didn’t know I was missing the Antisocial Party-Goer Club up here.

DANTE: (scowls, but a grin tugs at the side of his mouth)  We just wanted to look at the moon.

SOLI: (tilts her head up towards the sky, moonlight reflecting off of her dark hair, like coins in a fountain) She is beautiful.

[Another shooting star arcs itself across the sky. Like a painter swiping stardust across the night’s canvas]

ROSEMARY: (gasps)  Did you see that! There was another one!

DANTE: There must be a meteor shower or something.

[A voice from the hatch calls for SOLI to come back down.]

ROSEMARY: (raising an eyebrow)  Looks like your company is in high demand.

SOLI: (shrugs slightly)  Let them wait. I’d rather be here with you guys, anyways.

DANTE and ROSEMARY: (both murmur in agreement)  Me too.

[The three sit together like sets of cats on a windowsill. All of them, gazing up at the moon, enjoying each other’s presence. Soaking up starlight, until late in the night. When the last star, disappears from the sky and gives way to dawn. The gold light of morning, cracking open the night like an eggshell, giving way, to yet another tomorrow.]

[whisperwoofwoof]

Golden Ch 3

Rating: Mature Pairing: JongKey Chaptered/WIP | 1.6k words Warnings: Language, alcohol mention, occult, supernatural Prompt: Dish soap, Children climbing a tree, Whistling, A sex scene, Holy water (PENDING) 

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Jonghyun awoke to cicadas creating a ruckus.

He opened his eyes to find himself on the couch, sunlight pouring through the blinds. The TV had been turned off and the soda cans that were on the coffee table had disappeared.

“Good morning, babe.”

Kibum appeared from the front door, very clearly coming in from outside. His clothes were on the casual side, a little more ragged than he usually wore. This only meant that Kibum was in one of his cleaning moods. Jonghyun stretched as he sat up, determined to the other man.

“So, you’re cleaning this morning?” he asked him.

“Yeah, it just seemed like it was time,” Kibum grinned as he handed an empty trash bag.

Jonghyun could only smile at him as he took the bag and went to his bedroom. Kibum looked fondly at Jonghyun walking away, expression falling as he shifted out of view. He didn’t want Jonghyun to know the real reason why he started on this cleaning frenzy.

When he awoke that morning, the board was nowhere to be seen. He was sure that he nudged it underneath the bed after the events the night before. He even tried to convince himself that the way the lightbulb shattered, with tiny pieces of glass being strewn across the room, was merely a dream and that the board never came home with him. However, when he looked closer at the nightstand and the floor beneath it, shards of the lightbulb were still visible.

He deep cleaned his room and the entire apartment, save for Jonghyun’s room. He could not find the board anywhere. He even texted his friends to see if they knew of its whereabouts for some reason, but they were either hungover or busy.

Kibum continued to clean the living room and watched Jonghyun walk out of his own bedroom with a bag full of trash. He smiled at him as he walked past, never mentioning the search for a missing Ouija board. He waited until he was sure Jonghyun was on the way down the stairs to take a quick peek into his bedroom. The trash was picked up, and the room itself was is a disarray that simply represented Jonghyun, but the board did not make its way into the other man’s bedroom. Hell, it was impossible, but Kibum was desperate to find that damn board somewhere.

It creeped him the fuck out. He wondered how the hell a piece of wood could just disappear without a trace. He hardly felt comfortable in his own room, and even in his own home. He continued to sweep up and was in the middle of dumping the dustpan into the garbage when Jonghyun walked back in.

“Wow, you really cleaned this place up!” He said, curving his arm around Kibum’s back.

“Yeah, the place just felt a little gross after last night,” Kibum replied as he melted into the comforting touch.

“I’ll bet. Alcohol always makes me feel gross the morning after. But hey, since you’re not puking your guts out, we should go out for breakfast!”

“Sure, I’ll go get dressed.”

Kibum did not want to stay in his apartment while that board was still missing. He felt uncomfortable, like he was being watched, like he had to be wary every time he turned the corner. He didn’t want to overthink it, but as long as that board was missing, his once safe haven had him on edge.

-

It felt good to get out of the house for a while. What was supposed to be a morning out for breakfast soon turned into an all-day outing. They went to a farmer’s market, took in a movie, and found themselves on the other side of town. There were small shops that neither man had ever seen before, including a New Age shop. The store window had displays of crystals and flowers, with candles and books appearing as well. One book did catch Kibum’s eye. It looked like an older book, but had a detailed picture of an Ouija board on the cover. His interest was piqued and he felt like it had answers to the questions he had. How did it know Jonghyun’s nickname? Why did the planchette move the way it did? Did he mess with something he shouldn’t have?

“Hey Jjong, let’s go in here,” he called out to the other man.

“Seriously? Don’t you think that stuff is just a bunch of bullshit?”

“Are you coming or not?”

“Yeah, yeah.”

Jonghyun was right behind Kibum as he entered the shop. A small windchime fluttered with the breeze of their arrival. The shop was almost comforting, air smelling like lavender and another herb he could not recall. The background music was of an American artist he had heard before. Her unique voice and the soothing notes of the song helped to set the atmosphere of the shop.

He made his way to the display to pick up the book he had seen. As he thought, it was older, but the information inside looked fairly legitimate, or as legitimate as a new age book could get. It mentioned many things that are supposed to be done when using a spirit board. It mentioned to use salt for protection, and to not use while under the influence of any drugs or alcohol, or while emotionally distressed. The book mentioned some essential rules to consider while using the board, including the importance of never leaving the board without saying goodbye.

Kibum stopped and tried to remember the night before. He was sure he said goodbye, unless that was only when he did it with his friends. He focused on the events in his bedroom, how drunk he was when he slid onto the bedroom floor, how he left the board in his shock and kicked it underneath the bed, only for it to go missing within hours. He remembered the things his grandmother would say, about how demons preyed on the weak.

He felt sick, feeling that he not only let his grandmother down by messing with shit he shouldn’t have been near, but he also let himself down. He wanted to be accepted by his old friends so bad. It didn’t matter what they did or how they did it, he just wanted to be involved. With them, he felt like he was back in his glory days, when everybody still loved him and his family still talked to him. Now, he felt like shit because the sun was setting and no one could tell him of the board's whereabouts, or if they experienced any weird happenings. They were unbothered and living their lives, while he stupidly opened a door to something sinister, dragging Jonghyun into it as well.

His turmoil was interrupted by a voice behind him.

“Can I help you guys find anything?”

He turned to see a man behind him, wearing a lilac apron. He appeared to be the same age as Kibum and Jonghyun, but his energy felt more mature. His smiling face broke Kibum out of whatever internal conflict, forcing him to answer.

“Uh no we were just leaving.”

Jonghyun looked up from the candle he was sniffing as Kibum spoke and put down the book. The shop worker threw and inquisitive glance at Kibum, but didn’t pry for an explanation.

“Oh, well if you change your mind, here’s my card.”

The man reached into a pocket on his apron and pulled out a little blue card. It showed the name of the shop, along with the phone number, store hours, and the name of the shop worker. Kibum looked at it before putting it into his own pocket, while Jonghyun finally appeared beside the two.

“If you have any questions, please don’t hesitate to come back.”

“Thanks,” said both of the boys as they pulled the door open once more to leave.

-

Nothing seemed too weird when they returned to the apartment. Still, Kibum insisted on sleeping in Jonghyun’s bed that night. It took him a bit to fall asleep, considering what the shop worker had mentioned about any questions. He chuckled at himself, figuring that the man was probably talking about customer service questions and not the occult. He calmed himself down, falling into a slumber with Jonghyun by his side.

He awoke to a shrill beeping in the middle of the night. He covered his ears before realizing what it was. The smoke detector was going off, and both he and Jonghyun jumped out bed. They ran out of the room and Kibum felt his heart drop as he realized where the smoke was coming from. The doorknob to Kibum’s bedroom was hot to the touch, forcing him to kick it in with all his might. After numerous tries, the door swung open to flames engulfing Kibum’s bed.

As he stood shocked, Jonghyun ran in with the fire extinguisher. The flames soon became smothered and the piercing sound of the smoke detector finally stopped. The two coughed and waved their hands in front of their faces as they were left with a smoky, dark room. Kibum crept inside and flicked on the overhead light. He felt his heartbeat faster at what he saw.

On top of the charred comforter, save for the white foam, was the perfectly placed and pristine Ouija board.

“What the fuck?” said Jonghun, although Kibum could not reply.

They walked further into the room, horrified at what was in front of them.

The missing planchette was also with the board, unmoving and still, with the eye piece hovering over the word GOODBYE.

[thecineastes-blog]

Grand Prix RPDR RuView: Reality Stars!: The Rusical (S06E05)

Break out your selfie stick and get ready to break the internet! For Grand Prix RPDR RuView, we’ll be giving you the overview of each episode, top moments of each episode, the shadiest moment of each episode, our favorite queen of the each episode, our least favorite queen of each episode, best looks on the runway, and our predictions for next week.

The queens re-enter the workroom to see Charlie Hides’s lipstick goodbye...which is quickly erased by Trinity. I miss when the queens would actually read aloud the departing words of their newly eliminated sister. But that seems to have gone the way of the dinosaur. Trinity does not seem to be the least bit sentimental and wants to focus on what’s ahead. The queens seem so bummed that Charlie did not put up a fight. Trinity is also quick to clarify that she had wished she had been put into the bottom two for her performance and not for her questionable leadership. (personally, I thought she was in the bottom two for both those reasons but I digress…)

While everyone does seem genuinely happy about Sasha and Shea’s win, Alexis wants to become the cream to everyone else’s milk this season and rise to the top; Nina seems like she’d pull a Nomi Malone on any of her fellow contestants if given the opportunity.

 The next day RuPaul drops in on the queens, sans her usual cryptic video mail. However, it does seem like our prayers (as well as those letter writing campaigns and hunger strikes) have paid off, we actually get a mini-challenge! Judt in time to be considered an Easter miracle! And on top of the that the Pit Crew is here! This season they are sponsorless, but have two new members, Yadir and Jared!

The queens had to shoot fun selfie photos with the Pit Crew in their summer ensembles. The photos were really fun to watch and made me realize how much I missed the mini challenges. Alexis is chosen as the winner, and will spearhead the maxi challenge in Kardashian: the Musical! Since Alexis won she got to choose not only her role, but everyone else’s.

The show seems to have gotten so disjunctive this season (and actually since All Stars 2). Drag Race used to follow a very linear pattern, there was the She Mail/RuMail, the mini challege, the preperation/rehearsal on the main challenge, performing the main challenge, the runway, and finally the lip sync. There just needs to be more a more cohesion for the rest of the series, because it’s getting ridiculous.

Alexis chooses the role self-proclaimed momager™ Kris Jenner; the other casting goes as follows, Eureka as North West, Cynthia as Kim, Farrah as Kylie, Valentina as Kendall, Aja as Kourtney, Sasha as Lindsay Lohan, Trinity as Paris Hilton, Peppermint as Britney Spears, Shea as Blac Chyna, and Nina as Khloe. Nina, originally wanting the role of Blac Chyna is already complaining about not receiving and the rehearsals have yet to start! 

Eureka, has had her ups and downs these past episodes. ESPECIALLY since she has to use crutches. She is being a real Pollyanna about the situation, which is refreshing. As the queens are listening to their music and trying to get their lyrics down, Nina keeps going on and on about how unfair it felt not getting the role she wanted. Nina is as salty as the Pacific ocean. If this were Dreamgirls, she’d be playing Effie White.

Peppermint said what everyone else was thinking, there are THREE Black actors to the ONE Black role, so two people are gonna end up being shafted! I’m actually surprised they did not have Brandy as a character in the musical, since Kim working for her led to her meeting, dating and making the sex tape with Ray J.

The choreography session, led by Todrick Hall was well...clunky. Apparently, it was an intensive two-day ordeal...and some people took it to more than others. Eureka is making glam happen, she is applying rhinestones on ballet slippers to make it that more glam!

Aja has experienced a true Hannukah miracle with thinking she got a slimmer nose. Eureka also ate some humble pie and asks for Sasha and Valentina’s forgiveness. They both open up about their eating disorders, and even Shea talks about her bulimia battle.  RuPaul’s Best Group Therapy Race indeed!

For the musical, I thought they all gave a strong performance but I’m sad they did not perform Kim Kardashian Meets the Easter Bunny: an American Play (and yes that is a real play, available on Amazon).

Ru comes down the runway in a shimmery silver number (is this becoming her signature color?); I’m happy to see hair and makeup and back to normal. So Meghan Trainor is wearing a unicorn onesie. Did she not have a stylist or at least ONE gay friend to talk to her about this? It just looks like she got up out of bed and ran to the studio to film the episode.

For the musical, I thought they all gave a strong performance but I’m sad they did not perform Khloe Kardashian Meets the Easter Bunny: an American Play (and yes that is a real play, available on Amazon).

Ru comes down the runway in a shimmery silver number (is this becoming her signature color?); I’m happy to see hair and makeup and back to normal. So Meghan Trainor is wearing a unicorn onesie. Did she not have a stylist or at least ONE gay friend to talk to her about this? It just looks like she got up out of bed and ran to the studio to film the episode.

Runway Over-Ru:

Category is Faux Fur Fabulous! First up is Peppermint, wearing a whole lot of pink (are her signature colors Blush and Bashful?). The skirt was very reminiscent of her ‘Naughty Nightie’ look, although the skirt fit her much better. Her faux fur piece reminded me of cotton balls. All in all, I was not a fan. 

Did Kimora leave behind her Princess Banana Lady costume? Because that's what Trinity was serving on the runway (minus the first world sob story about not wearing padding.) the added nose ring and accessories were kind of a cross between Coco Montrese’s ‘Ru-animal’ look and Season one and ‘All-Stars’ alum Shannel. Sasha Velour was serving Russian dressing realness in a Kozachok inspired look. 

The faux fur pants and hat were spot on. Well, after a chilly night of clubbing…” was Alexis’ Look for this runway, although the “reveal” was disappointing. Had she gone with a crystal encrusted mini dress or hell even a nude illusion like a Central Park flasher would’ve been more satisfying than that dress from Forever 21.

Cynthia’s Faux fur look was a lot. It was a two in one, it was mesh, it was faux fur, it had long sleeves, she had on gloves, she had on thigh high boots. Too much. Next up is Nina Bo’nina Brown Mountbatten-Windsor in a great look reminiscent of Mary J. Blige. This look (almost) compensated for Nina’s attitude this episode. 

Aja’s look could best be described as holographic Hoth stripper.Not my favorite. I did like the lavender hair and earmuffs, but wasn’t living for the rest of the ensemble. Looking like a telenovela villain in a snakeskin patterned gown, faux fur stole and wild kingdom jewels was Valentina. I liked the look, but wish it was more faux fur.

Two words: muppet jacket. That’s what I’d use to describe Farrah’s Faux fur piece. That in combination with the holo printed booty shorts, highlighter green color (Hello, Michelle Visage!),  weird windchime foil necklace and Red s-wave wig-it was a confusing look.  I prefer Farrah’s retro showgirl vibe from last episode, it definitely suits her better.

Shea’s neon vinyl faux fur monster look was IT. It reminded me of Naomi Small’s neon runway look-which I also love. Were the Misfits’s missing a member? Speaking of 1980s kids Glam Rock, Eureka looked like she was straight out of ‘Jem’ and I wasn’t mad about it. From the neon, faux fur, hair, leotard and face paint- it quite literally looked like something Pizzaz would wear (minus the crutches).

Farrah and Cynthia are placed at the bottom two, and effectively were polar opposites with their performances; Cynthia performance was high energy but it was clear she did not know the words. Farrah’s performance was lackluster and somewhat boring. But I was clutching my set of Easter Sunday pearls when Eureka was sent home! 

In hindsight, it made perfect sense, but RuPaul (and her lawyers) would be remiss (and held responsible) if they did not give Eureka time to heal. Untucked was just really weird when Alexis got on her pedestal about feeling that she did not feel the other contestants tried to help her with her runway look? Ugh.

Jonny’s Favorite Moments:

Mamma Mia!: Alexis Michelle as Kris Jenner nothing short of epic! She was present on stage, even when she wasn’t the main feature, was amazing.

Peppermint Twist: There is nothing better than Peppermint’s commentary on what is going on. My favorite parts of any episode.

Jonny’s Favorite Shadiest Moments:

Tony! Toni! Toné!: Will we be seeing Kardashian: the Musical make it to the great white way….don’t hold your breathe.

The Last Unicorn: Unofficial Commandment for RPDR Judges that I think Meghan Trainor did not realize, DRESS TO IMPRESS!

It’s the Great Menorah, Charlie Brown: I was glad we were able to witness a Hanukkah miracle! Aja’s nose becoming smaller! L'Chaim!

Jonny’s Favorite Queen:

Eureka, she will definitely will be missed this season. There were times she was downright grating, and others where she was very sympathetic and endearing. This episode, where we saw her hobbling around on crutches and wheelchairs with an ACL tear and not being the least bit salty or bitter? Take notes everybody, this is the attitude to have!

Jonny’s Least Favorite Queen:

Nina’s sourpuss demeanor this ENTIRE episode was really disconcerting. Come on, she was cast as Khloé Kardashian and was acting like she had to play Brody Jenner! And since Khloé is such a fan of the show (and a former judge to boot) I just wish Nina would have put more effort to outshine her cast members. I can see why people have called her a Debbie Downer

Predictions:

It’s FINALLY Snatch Game; this maxi challenge separates the boys from the men (or something like that). Let the odds be ever in your favor darlings.

Anais’ Favorite Moments:

Crystal Crazy: Valentina’s love of crystals and how stoning “feeds her soul” in ‘Untucked’ was adorable.

Unbreakable: Although she wrecked her knee in the Cheerleading challenge, Eureka didn’t let it bring her or her attitude down. (Side note: FYI Ru-no cheerleading challenges ever again.)

Anais’ Favorite Shadiest Moments:

Basic Instinct: How exactly was it the other Queens’ faults that Alexis wore a basic dress on the runway? It’s a competition! They’re going to be cordial but they’re not going to dress you.

Unicorn Tears: Was Meghan Trainor’s stylist on vacation? Really, a unicorn onesie?

Anais’ Favorite Queen:

Eureka and Valentina. Eureka’s positive attitude about her injury and not letting it hinder her in the competition was great-and to be honest I wish she had spent more time being like that, than coming off as desperate for camera time. (Bring positive Eureka for Season 10!) Valentina giving Farrah a bit of tough love was just what the Doctor ordered.

Anais’ Least Favorite Queen:

Farrah Moan and Nina Bo’nina Brown Day-Lewis. Farrah’s whining and cry baby demeanor is getting a bit irritating. She needs to toughen up when receiving constructive criticism-the 5 G’s girl. (Good God Girl Get a Grip). Nina’s attitude was ultra-salty and she spent a majority of her time complaining about not being Blac China, as opposed to taking the role she was given and making the most of it. I understand Nina’s faced a lot of opposition in the ATL drag scene, but she really should be showing her haters that she’s H-E-R-E bitch and showing them that they can’t bring her down.  It shouldn’t be a surprise to her that other contestants are questioning her desire to be in the competition.

Predictions:

Snatch Game! FINALLY. It’s really the time where we’ve hit mid season and it becomes survival of the fittest. Being safe isn’t enough anymore.

[promise-and-prose]

His Demons, Her Sacrifice

His Demons, Her Sacrifice Pt. 1

Follow my other works here: https://www.fanfiction.net/~bournefiction

~~~~~~~~~

“Everything is NOT FINE Raven!” Beastboy’s fury caused the green creature to finally stand up, the shards of glass shattering into smaller pieces on the tile floor.

“Nothing Garfield. Like you said, everything’s fine.”

That was when Raven could physically feel the distress in Garfield. A surge of energy slammed in her head- her head felt like it would split in half.

~~~~~~~~~

Raven was slowly descending into insanity and chaos. Her inner demons were slowly becoming apparent as the marks on her body glowed a vibrant red. The marks of Trigon seared her ashen skin. Raven stood on the roof of Titan’s Tower. She was uncontrollably shaking from a mix of adrenaline and pure horror. The dark clouds above her danced in the sky creating a light show accompanied by thunderous booms. Rain was starting to pour down and she could almost hear each drop as it landed on her burning skin. Raven knew this day would arrive sooner or later. She knew that her sacrifice would save everyone, it would save him. Fiery explosions erupted from the lower levels of the tower, and Raven took a deep breath in unison with another blast. She couldn’t let Trigon take over, she wouldn’t allow that to happen. The sorceress tilted her head back and allowed the rain to melt her face. It almost soothed her. Her final moments breathing in the fresh air from the earth. Her home. The shaking empath breathed in one more lungful of air, the smoke and rain almost invisible now. Raven started to sway on her feet as the marks on her skin burned brighter now. Raven started to sway on her feet as the marks radiating from her skin burned brighter. A sharp pain behind her chakra stone snapped her back to reality. The ground below began to tremble almost as much as her clenched fists. The earth below began to split, and the waves of the river erupted as a horned demon began to rise out of the water. “It’s time now Rae, you can do this,” Raven’s voice was barely a whisper. The sounds permeating from the splitting earth crescendoed louder and louder as the beast escaped from between  the cracks. “Daughter…” a voice boomed Raven bit her lep and steadied herself. Goose bumps trailed up her burning arms as she took a step forward towards her destiny. The empath’s shoulders no longer shook. Raven inhaled a steady breath and her mind was determined. “Fight me asshole.” Raven spared a single glance back towards the closed rooftop door. “Goodbye guys…” she took another step. “See you later.” Raven’s heartbeat was loud in her ears while her leg dangled precariously from the edge of the tower. As if in slow motion her body allowed one more step. This step initiated her free fall towards her destiny. Ash and smoke assaulted her face during her descent. The wind which blew through her violet hair was cold, and this contrasted with the burning heat of the smoke which caressed her burning cheeks. The empath began to feel tears accumulating in her worn and heavy eyes. “Raven! No!” Garfield’s voice was loud and pierced through her mind. Although she didn’t see him, the sorceress felt her heartbeat beat in harmony with the erratic pounding of the changeling’s. He shouldn’t be here. There’s no way. Raven looked up as she fell; a blur of green was following close behind her. “Garfield! Stop!”

~~~

“Rae?” Even though his voice was gentle, his nervousness made Raven’s stomach turn. The sorceress was lying still in a hospital bed, an erratic beeping noise ringing in her ears. Garfield was towering over the Empath’s small form. His emerald skin and mossy hair were bedazzled with beads of sweat and blossoming bruises. Garfield leaned closer when a small groan escaped from Raven’s cracked and pale lips. Raven felt her heartbeat almost immediately sync with the Changeling’s. The middle of her forehead, right beneath her glowing chakra stone throbbed with every forced heartbeath. Another groan formed in her chest when the empath attempted to open her eyes. The bright hospital lights seeped in through her tangle of eyelashes. Suddenly, realization hit her. As if by instinct, Raven’s stomach clenched and her hands formed fists at her sides, grabbing onto the hospital sheets. “Stop!” Her hoarse voice cried out. Raven’s eyes snapped open, and the heart rate monitor blared in protest. Raven sat up so fast that Beast Boy almost didn’t have enough time to shift backwards. “Hey there, easy Rae” Garfield cooed as he slowly raised his gloved hands. They shook slightly as Raven eyed the boy. Her wild, watery eyes started to gain composure as Beast Boy lowered his hands. Raven’s brow furrowed as she tried to calm her stuttering breath. The pounding in her ears quickly crescendoed as she recalled what had just happened. The fire. Her father. Beast B- Her eyes focused on two,, glowing green orbs. Raven’s hands still clasped to the bedsheets as rage began to boil under her skin and in her mind. Raven opened her mouth to speak, feeling her dried lips crack in the process. “What the hell was that Garfield?” Beastboy visibly flinched at the sound of his other name. The epath tried to conceal and conquer her boiling anger through clenched teeth. He wasn’t supposed to follow. She was supposed to go alone. It was her responsibility, not his- “Rae what are you-” Beast Boy’s voice was smooth yet cemented as Raven interrupted him. Her skin burned, the phantom pain from her seared skin made Raven even more livid. “I told you not to follow me. I told you to hide. What. Did. You. Do.” Her heartbeat that was reflected in the monitor was almost silent as the two team mates stared at eachother. The sorceress’ dark magic began to swirl through her veins. She felt the ebb and flow of the energy through her limbs. Her lip twitched. “Raven, you gotta calm down now.” Beast Boy’s voice became higher in pitched and he raised his hands, bloody palms facing towards her. “Me calm down? Now why’s that Garfield? You could have died!” The sudden increase in volume of her voice caused a fluorescent lightbulb above them to shatter. Pieces of glass rained down on the two. Raven then caught a glimpse of her reflection on one of the pieces as it sliced the top of Beast Boy’s forehead. Her glowing ruby eyes matched the red that formed on Beast’s skin. “This is why Raven.” Beastboy smeared the crimson on his forehead with the back of his hand. Finding her center, Raven took a deep breath through her nose, never shifting her gaze away from the Changling’s face. “Good Rae, just breath yeah?” Garfield seemingly loosened his tense posture. Shards of glass jingled almost like a windchime in a pool on the bed. “What exactly happened Beast Boy?” Raven’s voice was flat now, her shoulders started to visibly relax as she tried to search through her memory for what happened. Trigon didn't win, did he? She was still alive, how could they have won when her life was spared? Raven’s face started to get hot, her cheeks burned, and her head hummed. “...Slade. And then I found you unconscious Rae!” Beastboy was getting more animated and anxious as he continued. The mention of Slade’s infamy caught Raven mid-gasping breath. “Slade? What about Slade?” He couldn’t have been at the tower, could he? Raven leaned slowly back into the pillows behind her; her muscles screamed in protest. Garfield’s once scrunched face turned rigid, and crease-less. “Raven, we don't know what Slade did, but he hurt you… badly.” Garfield’s lip started to curl as a growl rose in his chest. Raven felt the anxiety and pure torture swirl through Beast Boy. “A few nights ago when we tried to capture him,” his voice was getting softer as he lowered his gaze. “He disappeared. But not without taking you with him.” No matter how hard Raven tried to conceal it, her mouth opened slightly in shock. Raven folded her blue hands in her lap, her fingers were practically icicles. “I do not recall such events.” Raven deadpanned. Confusion and knowledge flowed through Beastboy. “I only found you because you were screaming before you fell unconscious.” What…? “I see.” Raven was barely able to digest his story. She dissected his words phrase by phrase, but found no recollection in his story. “What exactly happened to me Garfield?” His elf ears drooped as he closed his dampened eyes. “You’ve been in one of your meditative comas for the past two days Raven. It looks like most of your physical injuries have been healed, but… I don’t know. I have no idea what he did to you or why-...” He shook his head. Raven’s amethyst eyes were trained on the boy, “Is the Tower safe? Anyone else hurt? Anything… unusual happen Garfield?” Raven’s voice was mellow and smooth, but very constricted. It almost sounded like she was choking on her words. “Raven, we’re fine…” Beasboy sounded agitated, and the aura around him swirled red with annoyance and frustration. “You were the one who was hurt. Not me… u-us.” Raven’s purple locks were matted to her face, and her eyes focused unconsciously on the frayed and torn grey gloves BeastBoy adorned. Her eyes couldn't look away from the smear of red on his knuckles. Beastboy started to rub his hands together to distract himself from the anxiety swelling his his stomach. Raven noticed the sudden flux of energy, and she dreaded what was to come next. “Raven, who was I hiding from?” So Slade’s behind this? Raven began to herself. I know I’ve been beaten up pretty badly before, but what could have possibly caused me to fall unconscious? The empath scrunched her brows ever so slightly, and she bit her lip. Something’s not right. “Nothing Garfield. Like you said, everything’s fine.” That was when Raven could physically feel the distress in Garfield. A surge of energy slammed in her head- her head felt like it would split in half. “Everything is NOT FINE Raven!” Beastboy’s fury caused the green creature to finally stand up, the shards of glass shattering into smaller pieces on the tile floor. “For the past three freaking days you have been screaming bloody murder… and guess what Raven! You were UNCONSCIOUS and all glowy-glowy so we couldn’t wake you up! It was torture dude!” His voice cracked, the strain causing a light vein to grow in his forehead. Just as Beastboy took another breath in, a light beeping noise caused both heads to turn expectantly towards the door. “Looks like somebody’s awake!” Cyborg’s booming voice echoed in the empty room, his metallic shoes clanked on the floor every time he took a step closer to Raven. “I heard all the commotion and didn’t want to miss the party!” Cyborg’s nonchalance and positive energy radiated from his metal being and soothed both Raven, and his little green friend. “Naw dude, the party hasn’t even started yet.” Beastboy’s voice was very flat, both mixed with a hint of sarcasm, and dashed with a bit of sadness. Raven looked at Garfield, his emerald hair stuck in any direction possible, and his clothes were decorated with the finest dirt and mud Jump City could offer. What about him… is he okay? “Alright folks, enough googley eyes at eachother - string bean, ya’ll need a shower, ‘cuz you stink dude.” Cyborg pinched his nose as if to make fun of the Beast’s odor. Sighing, Beast Boy gave a last glance at Raven over his shoulder. “Are you gonna be okay.?” His ruffled eyebrow raised, a small smile forming on his lips. “Yeah Beast Boy,” Raven sighed “I’m fine.” With a small nod of acceptance and a little grunt in acknowledgement, Beastboy stalked out of the room. As Cyborg drew closer, Raven realized that indeed, things were not going to be fine. ~~~

Thank you all for reading :D No, this story isn’t even close to being done, but this is like the first half of the prologue hehehe... 

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P.S. I love getting prompts in my ask or pm so feel free! :) I usually write them as soon as I read them!