#goodnight everyone im going to fly into my bed and fall asleep

[greenmenace]

Sorry for not being around, I've just been a little busy with birthday shenanigans, I'll be 21 next Sunday!

[lexwritess]

hii! i saw that your requests were open and wondered if you could do like an angsty xavier x reader? with the prompts 38. and 19? thank you <3 !

why’d you only call me when your high? [x.p.]

pairing: xavier plymton x reader

warnings: dr*g ab*use, fighting, angst, smut, swearing, cheating, both y/n and xavier are assholes, it’s a fucking lot okay? it’s good tho promise!

college au!

italics is flashbacks

normal text is present time

-

xavier fucking plymton.

you had some sort of an idea what you were getting into once you befriended the gorgeous blonde hair idiot but you never imagined this.

“xav, get over here!” montana shouted among the loud music and drunk students.

“meet my friend y/n! she’s super chill, i think i’m gonna make her join the group.” montana smiles.

“make me?” you raise and eyebrow at the blonde.

“oh yeah, montana isn’t to keen on asking people if they want to do things. you’ll end up doing it anyway.” xavier jokes.

“i guess i just got that kind of charm. i’m gonna go fill my drink!” montana walks away.

“xavier.” xavier introduces himself and extends his arm out to you.

“y/n.” you reply and meet his hand to shake it.

“you go to school here?” you asks xavier.

“no, i do go to the improv classes after school hours though.” he replies, leaning in closer to you.

“oh really that’s cool! what’s your interest in that?” you ask.

“i’m going to be a famous actor!” he says cockily.

“oh yeah?” you ask with an amused smirk on your face.

“yeah, i’m already in tons of commercials.” he gives a smile back to you.

you giggle and look around the cramped frat house.

“you wanna get out of here? there’s a really good pizza place down a couple blocks.” you ask xavier, hoping he agrees.

“hell yeah, this place sucks ass.” xavier says happily and grabs his jacket.

“wait wait wait, you’re telling me you did a commercial for some weird ass dildo in japan?” you laugh loudly.

“shhhh!” xavier laughs and pushes his finger against your slightly chapped lips.

“i didn’t know! it was before i had an agent and i was desperate for a gig.” xavier exclaims.

“mmm, japaneseeee dildoooo.” you giggle abruptly.

“oh my god y/n keep it down! are you sure you’re not drunk?” xavier quirks an eyebrow at you.

“i was just at a frat house for three hours with montana fucking duke as my tour guide...i’m drunk.” you giggle again.

“good point there.” xavier laughs at you.

“you can’t act innocent. you’re just as drunk as me!” you cross your arms and look at him.

“well yes, but i never said i wasn’t.” xavier gives you a smug look and takes a drink of his soda.

“yeah yeah whatever.” you playfully roll your eyes and take the drink out of his hand to take a sip.

“do you have a bucket list?” xavier asks.

“no, i don’t think so? i mean there’s things i wanna do but i don’t have them all sorted out.” you reply, shrugging your shoulders.

“well what’s one thing, anything in the world, you want to do and we’ll go do it?” xavier smiles.

“well...i’ve always wanted to hook up with a famous actor.”

“fuck xav!” you moan out as xavier thrusts increase in speed.

“shit y/n.” xaviers eyes roll back as he breathes deeply.

xavier moves your legs so they’re above his shoulders. making him go deeper, causing you both to moan loudly.

“fuck y/n you’re so fucking tight for me. so fucking tight.” xavier grunts, pining your hands above your head.

“shittt, xavier! i’m going to cum!” you moan into his ear.

“i’m almost there.” xavier says in a breathy voice.

“fuck xavier please!” you plead, tightening around him.

“shit shit...go ahead cum for me!” xavier’s thrusts get sloppy as he gets closer to his peak.

your walls clench around him one last time before you both finish.

“fuck that was good.” you giggle and xavier pulls out with a big smirk on his face.

“glad i could cross that off on your bucket list.” he smiles and gets under the covers.

“goodnight x.” you say sleepily and scoot closer.

“night y/n/n.” xavier says softly and wraps his arms around you before falling asleep.

that’s the night you thought you found your perfect person, but nothings ever perfect.

“we’ve just been on a few dates mon, it’s nothing serious!” you explain to montana.

she had found out about you and xaviers “relationship” you don’t think it’s a big deal. you’re just friends.

“what about all the hot dirty sex i’ve heard about?” montana looks at you with her eyebrows raised.

you rolls your eyes at her.

maybe you and xavier aren’t exactly just friends.

“keep your eyes on the road.” you tell her, avoiding the question.

it was her turn to roll her eyes at you.

“okay, you’re still not answering the question.” montana points out.

“okay! maybe we have sex sometimes but it’s normal! a little...” you give her a sheepish smile and she just laughs at your stupidity.

“don’t tell him but i kind of really like him. i like the way his eyes widen when he talks about acting or the way he gives side comments that fly right over chets head, or the way he has to remake his sandwich when we go out to eat because he has this very specific order-.” you rant while montana cuts you off.

“okay, you’re in love with him! why don’t you date him already!” montana shouts.

“he’s just been distant i don’t know...he’s only been calling me over to hook up i think somethings wrong.” you say glumly.

“you should go over and check on him, his apartment isn’t far away from aaron’s. want me to drop you off?” montana offers.

you debate her offer. you don’t just wanna show up uninvited but you did talk about coming over earlier.

“yeah sure if you don’t mind.”

you knock on the door of the apartment complex waiting for your favorite blonde bimbo.

when there was no answer you turn the handle to see if the door was locked.

you open the door and walk into the house a little.

“xavier?” you call out.

no answer.

“xav?” you ask again walking towards his room.

you smile when you see the sight of xavier sleeping soundly in his bed, little snores leaving his mouth once in a while.

you walk around his room admiring the many polaroids of him and his friends.

you grin when you find the one of the night you met.

you take it off the wall to take a closer took at it but you knock something over.

“oops.” you mutter to yourself and bend down to pick it up.

you pick up a small orange bottle with the words oxycodone written on it.

not prescribed to xavier.

you look at the location it fell and found another bottle of pills.

you don’t bother to look at the lable of it and put the other one back.

“what the hell?” you say quietly, tears brimming your eyes.

“y/n?” a groggy voice fills your ears.

you don’t say anything and walk out of his bedroom out to the kitchen.

“wait y/n where are you going?” xavier asks rushes out to stop you from leaving.

“you didn’t tell me you were an addict.” you say just above a whisper.

xaviers face goes white and he runs a hand through his hair.

“you weren’t suppose to find out like this.” he says quietly.

“were you ever going to tell me?” you ask louder this time, making contact with his icy blue eyes.

“of course i was going to tell you.” xavier grabs you wrist pulling you close to him.

“were you high all the times we hung out?”

“no! not all of them...” xavier looks away uneasy.

“the past couple times we fucked?” you ask him with an attitude.

xavier looks at you and a tear runs down his face.

you scoff and continue to put your shoes on.

“y/n, please don’t go! i’ll stop! i’ll drop the pills.” xavier pleads.

“why do you even want me to stay? you won’t commit to me, you don’t wanna hang out with me normally anymore, and you only call me over when you’re high! im fucking tired xavier!” you shout, tears streaming down your face.

“please, i love you. i’ll stop for you.” xavier pleads again.

“you love me?” you ask him with wide eyes.

“yeah.” xavier breathes, his face inches from yours.

“you promise you’ll stop with the pills?” you ask xavier, extending your pinky finger towards him.

“promise.” xavier whispers and intertwines his pinky with yours.

he technically never did break that promise.

“remind me again why we’re getting ice cream ten o’clock at night?” you ask your group of friends with a smile.

“because we’re fucking cool.” montana replies.

“i wish we would of took a car, it’s freezing out.” brooke shivers.

“here! take my jacket.” chet removes his jacket and places it around brookes shoulders.

“you guys are disgusting.” you laugh, taking a bite of your ice cream.

“oh c’mon y/n/n, let them enjoy being in love!” ray jokes, nudging your shoulder.

“yeah, you’re just mad xavier didn’t show.” chet says while shoving a spoonful of ice cream in his mouth.

“wait you told me xavier had an audition?” montana asks you confused.

“i know...i’m sorry i lied. i’m just worried and i didn’t want to think about it.” you say quietly.

the group looks at you with remorse and ray wraps a comforting arm around you.

“guys be careful going around this corner, lots of junkies.” chet says distastefully.

everyone picks up the pace a little walking down the alleyway to get back to the main street.

you turn your head to look towards a group of people when you recognize someone familiar.

“holy shit.” you say with tears brimming your eyes.

“guys be quiet and fast now.” you say urgently and you quickly get back to the main road.

“y/n what’s wrong?” brooke asks.

“xav-xavier was back there.” you say with a shaky breath.

“i think i’m going to head out...i’ll see you at home tana. thanks for ice cream.” you say quickly, walking past them to haul down a cab.

you got and the cab and told the driver to go to Arrow street.

which is not where your apartment is, but xaviers.

you had a key to his apartment so you just let yourself in and sat on the couch waiting for him to come home.

that’s until you saw a glimpse of orange in the garbage.

needles.

you didn’t want it to be true you did everything you could to try to convince yourself it was for something medical, but the more you looked around the apartment and saw the scattered needles in his bedroom you couldn’t.

“y/n, shit you scared me!” xavier laughs nervously.

“you disgust me.” you say say standing up, turning around to face him.

“what?” xavier knots his eyes brows in confusion.

“listen, you don’t think i know but i fucking know. i know you xavier. you’re not secretive i know when you’re not yourself, but heroin! seriously?” you ask the boy you love with tears streaming down your cheeks.

“babe-.”

“no! don’t do that shit! you’re in deep shit now. you know that? i do everything for you and you don’t make me feel like it’s worth it...you make me feel worthless! you lie to me, you’re high every time we’re together, and you blow me off to go buy dirty needles off junkies! it fucking hurts!” you scream, finally telling xavier how you feel.

“is it all worth it? is being high all the time worth it? it is worth to lose me?” you ask bitterly.

“no, no it’s not...” xavier says quietly as a tear rolls down his face.

“then why don’t you get help!” you say with anger.

“i will! i will please, one more chance just give me one more chance please!” xavier sobs.

you direct your gaze towards the floor as xavier steps closer to you.

“one more chance.” xavier says again, grabbing the side of your face, tilting your head up to look at him.

“are you high right now?” your voice hoarse from the fighting earlier.

“no, and i’ll flush the rest of them down the toilet right now.”

and you gave him another chance, and another chance, and another fucking chance.

always luring you with the dates, his jokes, the sex, his charm, the i love yous, and you would forgive him every time.

almost every time.

“how could you?” you say with a shaky voice, tears threatening to spill.

xavier told you that he wanted to have a movie night later that night, but when 8 o’clock rolled around and you walked into his room, you wish you never would of went.

seeing a girl on her knees in front of your boyfriend and him enjoying it killed you.

“you need to leave now.” you tell the girl.

she muttered a sorry and left the apartment.

xavier opened his mouth to say something but you didn’t want to hear it.

“don’t fucking lie to me right now, is this the first time?” you ask.

“no, i’ll never do it again please-.”

“xavier!” you say sternly.

xavier inhales sharply. “no this isn’t the first time, i’m sorry.” he sighs.

“you’re always sorry aren’t you? did you guys fuck?” you ask, clearly irritated with xavier.

“yes.” you can barely hear him.

“i fucking hate you xavier plymton...you ruined me!” you shout, letting all your emotions wash over you.

“you know it’s not like you’ve been fucking perfect either!” xavier yells, he’s never yelled at you like this before.

“i didn’t fucking cheat on you!”

“you’ve been distant. when i need you, you’re not here. you’re out drinking, or hanging out with fucking ray! i needed someone so sorry i was fucking that bitch but you weren’t here.” xavier shoots back.

“are you fucking blaming me? the only reason i’m drinking and hanging out with ray is because you choose drugs over everyone! you’re not the same guy i fell in love with. you say you love me xavier but it doesn’t feel like it...” your sentence trails off at the end, you’re not sure you can argue much longer you’re feeling yourself breaking.

“well maybe it’s because i don’t love you! you’re always on my back and you never shut the fuck up!” xavier hisses.

you’re speechless.

xavier doesn’t love you?

you can see the regret in his face after the words leave his mouth.

“don’t talk to me ever again, i swear to god xavier. never again.” you say as calm as possible, leaving the apartment building.

you go outside and let all your emotions out. your back slides against the wall as you bury yourself in your knees and start sobbing.

you pull out your phone and try your best to see through your teary vision for montana’s contact.

“y/n what’s up?” she asks.

“mon, i, i really need you to come pick me up.” you hiccup.

“shit, of course. where are you?” montana asks with concern.

“xaviers...”

you hear her sigh on the other side of the phone.

“be there in 5.”

“that son of a bitch! i’m so sorry y/n, this is my fault.” montana rubs your back for comfort.

“it’s not your fault, he changed.” you say, your voice raspy from all the screaming and crying.

“i just, i don’t think i can see him for a long time.” you say quietly, burying your face into your pillows.

“fuck, y/n my works calling, i’ll be back im going to call off.” montana starts walking out of your room.

“no, i’ll be fine. don’t call off.” you tell her.

“no, y/n it’s fine.”

“mon you call off all the time, they’ll fire you.” you give a little laugh.

“are you sure?” she sighs heavily.

“yes! now go i’ll see you later.” you shoo her away.

you never thought that day could of got worse.

you groan at the noise of someone knocking at your door.

“montana you have a key!” you complain, going to open the door.

you’re taken a back when you open the door to see two police officers.

“can i help you?” you ask nervously.

“you are y/n y/l/n, correct?” the one on the left asks.

“yes, am i in trouble?” you ask confused.

“no of course not, you’re number one in xavier plymtons emergency contacts so we decided to come to you.” the other answers.

you blood runs cold as a million possibilities rack through your brain.

“we regret to inform you that xavier has passed.”

you swear your vision went black for a second.

he’s not gone.

he can’t be gone.

“what, what happened? i-i just saw him two hours.” you stutter.

“he was found outside his apartment, needle in his arm-.” the woman officer cuts her partner off and mumbles something about being to blunt.

“he overdosed, heroin. i’m so sorry baby.” she looks at you with pitty.

“thanks for telling me...” you say so quiet you’re surprised they heard you.

they say goodbye again and you shut the door.

“no,no,no,no!” you scream falling to the ground.

“why the fuck would you do that? why why why why?” you tell again, tugging at your hair.

you let out a loud, heartbreaking sob and fall onto your knees.

“i didn’t mean what i said...i didn’t mean it i wanted you to talk to me i was just angry. you were angry. fuck fuck!” you wail out again.

xavier fucking plymton .

[perfectly-imperfect82]

Jealous- uswnt

Y/N POV

"Where have you been? It's almost curfew?" Christen asked giving me a curious look and I saw Mal roll her eyes from her bed as I walked into my hotel room.

Christen and Tobin have taken me under there wing and have been very protective over me since I've started joining camps a couple months ago.  I'm pretty sure that why Mal hasn't taken a liking to me, being Preath kid and all, but I do my best I ignore it.

"I was hanging out with Kelley and Emily" I replied, doing my best to keep my compose and stay away from the so they wouldn't smell the alcohol on my breath from going out with them

"Well we just came to say goodnight" Tobin said giving me a smile

"Well uh goodnight" I said going to my bag to grab clothes,  hoping they wouldn't come over and hug me,which only caused them both to look at me with confusion

Tobin started to head to the door while Christen made her way over to me and I felt my heart to to beat faster. I knew I should have brought gum come or something.

She pulled me into a hug and I felt her freeze in my arms before she pulled away from me and kept her hands on my shoulders and looked me over.

"You've been drinking" she stated angrily and I just stared back at her

"(Y/n)" Tobin said walking up next to Christen and placing a hand on her back, trying to calm her down. I've seen Tobin do this many times to not recognize the action

"It was only a couple of drinks. We a free day tomorrow, so it's not that big of a deal" I said trying to get around them and towards the bathroom since I really didn't want to argue with them while I was buzzed.

I felt Christen grab my hand to stop me

"You are only 19" she exclaimed

"Why don't we talk about this in the morning? When we are all sober and have had time to think" Tobin said and I watched Christen nod

"No, this is the end of this conversation" I said, the alcohol in my system making me speak my mind more than I would have sober

I saw Tobin looked shocked, while Christen looked like she got even more angry.

"No?" She hissed out

"Im 19, not some little kid. I don't need you guys acting like my parents. I've being looking after myself for a couple of years now and have been doing just fine. I don't need your help" I ranted and I looked up to see hurt in both of their eyes which made me feel a little guilty but I stood my ground.

I watched as Christen rushed out of the room and Tobin gave me a look of disappointment and shake her head before quickly following her out.

I stood there for a second looking at the door with a sign

"Did you have to hurt them?" Mal said angrily which made me jump, I had completely forgotten she was here

"Shouldn't you be happy, you'll have them all to yourself again" I said rolling my eyes

"Of course thats what I want, but I didn't want them getting hurt to get it that way" she said

"Getting hurt is apart of life, you will learn that when you grow up" I said falling on to my bed and closing my eyes

"I'm older then you" she replied

"But you still act like a kid"

"No I don't" she replied defensively causing me to open my eyes and give the really look

"I don't" she said again

"You've been acting like a jealousy little kid about my relationship with Tobin and Christen since I've arrived and they literally tucked you into bed tonight and that's not the first time they've done it" I said looking at her to see if she try's to deny it

"I'm not jealous, you are" She replies causing me to laugh and I see that she is starting to get angry

"Me jealous of you? That's hilarious" I said continuing to laugh

"Yes, jealous that I got called up to play at 17 and have been apart of this team for years" she said which caused me to stop laughing and a feeling irritation and anger to start filling my body since I had been called up at the same time as her but I had to turn down that offer due to certain circumstances

"Not all of us have the luxury of not having responsibilities and being able to attend any camp, anytime time they want" I replied angrily as I got out of bed and started to head towards the door before I gave to much away in rage

"Where are you going?" I heard her ask worriedly

"Don't worry, I'm not going to tell on you" I replied sarcastically as I shut the door

I knew it pretty close to curfew but I honestly didn't care as I made my way out into the lobby out the doors into the cold night air.

I just started walking, trying to get the anger out of my system and prevent the memory's of my mom out of my head.

I don't know how long I was walking for before I finally reached the hotel again after letting the anger leave my mind and time to think over the situation.

I quickly made my way up to my room and hoping I don't run into anyone.

I tried opening the door to my room quietly and enter but stopped when I saw the light still on.

"(Y/n)" I heard which caused me to open the door and stare at the room in shock.

All the veterans and Mal were scattered around the room. Everyone looked relieved to see me and I saw the christen and Mal were both crying.

That when I felt a a slightly smaller body fly into me, causing to wrap my arms around them.

"I'm sorry" I heard her cry into my shoulder

"It's okay" I said starting to rub her back in hopes of calming her down

"No it's not, I've been acting rude to since you've arrived and then tonight you left and then it was 1 am and you still hadn't return. I got worried call them. I'm so sorry" she kept rambling

"Mal, it's okay. I forgive you" I said still rubbing her back which caused her to pull back and look at me in shock which I only returned with a smile as I let go of her and she moved back to sit next Tobin and Christen as I looked around the room at the veterans

It was true, I could never have hard feels toward Mal. No matter how annoying she got, I still cared about her.

"I'm sorry" I said awkwardly rubbing the back of my neck

"Do you know what time it is?" Carli asked calmly causing me to quickly look at my watch and I my eyes widen as I saw it said 3 am

"By your reaction, I'm going to say no" Becky said

"We get it that you were upset, but you can't go running of into the night by yourself. It's dangerous for any of us, not just you" Carli continued and I nodded my head in understanding, I knew my actions were wrong

"Now that is out of the way, we need to have a talk about what you said this evening" Tobin said looking  at me and I felt my heart rate pick up at the thought have to talk about my past

"W-What do you mean?" I asked nervously

"That you've been looking after your self for a couple years now? What did you mean by that?" Tobin asked and that's when I found my shoes very interesting

That when I felt someone pull me into a hug and I instantly knew it Christen and I just broke down crying.

I felt her lower us gently to the ground and pull me into her lap and closer to her.

When I looked up I saw that everyone else had joined us on the ground

"We are all here for you" I heard Alex say as she grabbed my hand and held it which caused me to give her a weak smile

"My mom died from cancer my freshman year of college" I said quietly looking at my hands as more tears filled my eyes.

I felt Christen pull me closer to her as I felt her tears fall onto my shoulder and Tobin place a hand top of Alex and mine

"She was diagnosed with it when I was 16. She fought hard for two years until she lost her battle" I continued as more tears fell and I heard Mal gasp. I looked up at her to see tears falling down her face as she fully realized what my comment from earlier meant

"You got called up at sooner then we all know didn't you?" Mal asked bring the attention to her

"I got called up a few months after you, but turned it down to take care of my mom"

"Well I think that's enough sad talk for one night" I said getting out of Christen grasp and standing up which everyone quickly followed, wiping their tears

"I think it's time we all get some sleep" Carli said before she pulled me into a hug followed by everyone before they left the room, leaving Mal, Christen, Tobin and I

I quietly made my way to my bed, getting under the covers as exhaustion from everything hitting me.

That's when I felt the covers getting lifted and the bed sink on both sides of me, causing me to open my eyes as I felt people snuggle into my sides.

I looked to see Christen on my left, with Mal on my right with Tobin next to her.

I felt Christen wrap her arm around my waist and pull me closer to her as she rested her chin on my head as Mal cuddled into my chest.

I started to fall asleep, felling safe and protected.

"I love you guys" I mumbled tiredly which they all returned

"We are still talking about you drinking tomorrow" I heard Christen whisper in my ear causing to just smile and reply "I won't expect anything else" with a small laugh

[writing-fanics]

[Mamoru x Fem!Reader]

[Part Seven]

 a/n; so for this season I'm focusing more on Mamoru and Y/n's relationship so, i'll have a lot of og, scenes to do it.. and, as well have elements from the show... i'll use the manga fo chibi-usa introduction and, of course i'll have that dramatic break up scene that hurts me..... ] 

so this chapter maybe short i'm more focused on having interaction's between y/n and mamoru just to add more to their rekindling romance, even though they don't know that they know each-other. If it seems to be moving fast in them rebuilding their relationship they once had, I don't think it is im my opinoi. 

I know the moonlight knight is the embodiment of Mamoru's strong love for usagi.. in the story its y/n..but in this... some feelings are still there in Mamoru, but they are because he has a slight tiny tincy wincy little crush on y/n even though he doesn't know much about her.. the two have really cute interactions in which for them, feel strangely familiar....

i can't wait to do the babysitting chapter.. oh, goodness i'm gonna die at how cute its gonna be.. 

Also for the flashbacks,, I know its not explicitly mentioned in the manga, but for me I think the reincarnations of Mamoru and Usagi, Endymion and Serenity.. Were the same age so they were like possibly 16 or 17.. Maybe but for Serenity.. she would be 100 or something due to the silver crystal granting an 1000 live longevity. 

So Endymion and Y/n are 17.. don't judge me... 

[Y/n] sighed as she looked up, at the stars. A longing look on her face, every night she would do this. It always seemed to bring her comfort,  as she looked up at the sky. She noticed something, making its way down. She gasps, as it crashes into the ground. And, explodes. 

Her eyes widened, as she looks at it. And, runs out of her apartment complex to get a look at it. Everyone in the surrounding area, made their way to the crater that was left by the explosion. They all stood around the edge, 

"Musta been a meteor!" Rei's grandfather says, looking at it. 

[Y/n] looks curiously at the boulder, "No way!! All candy is 80% off?! Sounds like my kinda place!" Usagi shouts, looking at the flyer. 

"If all you ever eat are sweets, you'll turn your body into a giant bun, too." Mamoru says, looking at Usagi.

"Hey I know that obnoxious voice." She says, looking towards him. 

"Only you call me that!" She shouts at him, 

"The thought of a Bun-head turning into a bun-body is almost too much for me to take." He says, causing [Y/n] to snicker a bit, trying to hold back a laugh at this interaction. A familiar feeling washed over her, this felt so familiar.. 

Why was it?

[Time-Skip] 

[Y/n] was at the library, looking at books about the stars. Even though she already knew so much, it wouldn't hurt to know more. She got up from the chair and, checked out the books she was reading. She left the library and, made her way back to the apartment while reading her book, as she looked at the book. 

She didn't realize she bumped into someone, causing them to both drop their books. "I-I'm so sorry." She says, bending down, to help pick up their books. 

"It's okay, seems I'm being bumped into a lot lately." He says, to her and, she looks up at him. It was Mamoru, 

"O-Oh, hi Mamoru." She says, looking up at him. 

He looks up at her, "Hi, Y/n. Second time bumping into me today." He says to her and, chuckles nervously. Picking up his dropped books, 

"I-It seems so.." She says, smiling at him. The two then seem to reach out for the same book, their hands touching. A familiar warmth washing over them, the two look into each-other's eyes. The two quickly pull their hands away, from each-other a slight blush spread across their faces. 

[Y/n] turns back and, reaches for the book. Picking up the last one of Mamoru's books, she looks at him. "A-ah, sorry for bumping into you again." She says, to him nervously. 

"It's okay." He says, taking the books from her. And, handing her, her own books. She smiles at him, as he helps her off the ground. The two smile at each-other, the two look into each-other's eyes. 

"H-Have a nice day Mamoru." She says, bowing at him. Then walking away, a blush spread across his face... Her heart was racing and, she didn't know why. She barely knew Mamoru, but for some reason she felt she's known him for her entire life. 

This was so weird...

An saw this and, gasps. "Ugh! Who does she think she is?!" She says, as she was about to walk towards Mamoru, she fell to her knees. Clenching her chest, needing more energy. 

[Y/n] sat at her desk, taking notes on Stars. For her university, she sighed as she typed away. As she did, she couldn't stop thinking about Mamoru. And, again she didn't know why. She groaned and, fell onto the floor. She looked up at the ceiling, 

"Get your head outta the clouds, Y/n." She says, looking up at the ceiling. She sighs, she looks out the window once more. And, walks onto her balcony, she looks up at the stars. As she looks up at the stars, she sees Mamoru looking up at them, she looks over at him and, smiles. 

He sees her and, smiles back at her. "You must really like the stars." He says and, she giggles and, nods. 

"Yes, I love the stars. I absolutely adore them." She says, looking up at them. Her hands, clasps together. He looks at her, 

"It's the only thing, that makes me feel close to my mother." She says, to him a smile spread across her face. As she looks, at Mamoru. This moment between them, once again feeling so familiar. The two looking at each-other under the night sky. 

The two even though not knowing much about one another, would just have these interactions that seemed like they do know about each-other. Her eyes seemed to sparkle as she stood there underneath the stars, the two just stared at each-other. 

[Y/n] looked down, she began playing with her fingers. "I-I should probably get back to working on my paper." She says, blushing. She slowly backs away, a blush spread across her face. She turns back towards him and, jokingly says, 

"I-I guess I-I'll see you tomorrow when we bump into each-other." She says jokingly, causing Mamoru to chuckle a bit. Her heart skips a beat,

"I hope so.." He says and, her heart was racing. She felt like she was going to pass out, from embarrassment.She smiles, at this and, looks at Mamoru. 

"G-Goodnight Mamoru." She says, her hand over her heart. As she walks into her apartment, she plops onto her bed and, blushes. Her heart racing. She brought the blanket to her face and, squealed quietly to herself. As she lays in the bed, she couldn't stop thinking about him... 

All these interactions are so familiar, they feel so familiar. She snuggles her head, into her pillow and, smile. She slowly begins to close her eyes and, falls asleep. As she lays in bed, a monster breaks into her apartment. Causing her to be startled awake, hearing the shattering of glass. She gets out of bed and, grabs the broom that was in her room. 

She opened the door to her bedroom and, gasps seeing the monster in front of her. "What the f-.." She says, but was grabbed by the neck by the monster. 

"Vampir!" it shouted, as it began to drain her of her energy. She tried to hit the monster with her broom, but the monster snaps it in two. She groans as her energy begins to drain, from her body. 

"Y/n!" Atlas shouted, jumping at the monster attacking it. But it flings him away, causing him to hit the wall. The monster drops [Y/n] who falls to the ground in a daze, Usagi now as Sailor Moon runs into the room, 

"Y/n!" Sailor Moon shouts, shaking her but [Y/n] is unfazed. The monster attacks Sailor Moon and, begins to drain her energy. Atlas looks at this in shock, "No! Sailor Moon!" He shouts, seeing her struggling. He was conflicted, all they wanted was to have a normal life. 

And, [Y/n] and Mamoru, bit by bit were already rekindling their lost romance. She wanted a normal life with him, not having to worry about monsters, coming after them. Or having to save the world and, lose people she loves. Tears brim Atlas eyes, "I'm sorry Y/n! But Sailor Moon needs your help. Become Sailor Luna again!" he says, as a beam comes out of his crescent moon, and it hits [Y/n]'s forehead. 

Tears roll down her cheeks, as the memories are beginning to come back. The death of her friends, her dying in Mamoru's arms. And, him staying by her side till the very end. 

'No, please let me live a normal life!' 

'Please, that's all I want is that so hard to ask for!' 

'I don't want to remember! let me live a normal life!' 

'Nooo!' 

She gasps tears rolling down her cheeks, she smiles sadly at Atlas. "I'm so sorry Y/n.." He says and, she shakes her head. 

"There was no other choice." She says, wiping the tears from her eyes. She stands up, 

'Lunar Prism Power Make-Up!' 

[Y/n] looks at Vampir and, growls. Kicking, it in the face. Sending it flying out her window, "If it wasn't for you we'd be living a normal life, no thanks to you!" She shouts at it, it swings at her and, she dodges it. She jumps do

"Come on, Sailor Moon." She shouts, looking towards her, Who looks up at her and, nods. 

"Right." Sailor Moon says, as she touches her tiara. 

'Moon Tiara Action ' 

'Lunar Beam!''

They watch as the monster disappears and, a card appears before them. Falling onto the ground and, fading away... 

"Sailor Moon and Sailor Luna was it? I had no Idea someone like you was on this planet." Ail said, appearing as an apparition.

"Who are you people?!" [Y/n] shouts, at them. 

"Nomadic Nobles of the universes I'm Ail." He says, looking at them. 

"And I am An." An says, 

"You were the ones who sent that monster, weren't you" Sailor Moon shouted, at them. 

"Yeah but that was only a sneak peek at was what to come. " An says, laughing as they fade away. 

[Time-Skip] 

[Y/n] groaned, as the sound of glass crunches as she walks on the floor. "Man, this is gonna cost so much to get repaired." She says, looking down. She couldn't deal with it tonight it was going, to have to be tomorrow before she could do anything. Atlas was in her arms, she looked down at him and, said, 

"Looks like we're going to have to stay at a hotel for a bit." She says, to him. Looking down, as she left her apartment and, making her way to the nearest hotel. Once in the hotel [Y/n] plopped onto the bed and, laid her head down on the pillow. 

"Y/n?" Atlas says, jumping onto the bed walking towards her.  "Are you okay?" He asks and, she groans and, shakes her head. He notices tears in her eyes, 

"No, even though I have all my memories back, so does Usagi.. I know eventually the others will, but... I don't know why I have this feeling Mamoru will never remember me.." She cries into the pillow, 

"M-Maybe, I can try to help him remember; but... I have this feeling nothing I say or do will help him at all. I love him so much and, now I felt before I had my memories back, that we were slowly rekindling what we'd lost." She mumbles, tears streaming down her cheeks.

"I'm sure he'll remember you eventually, you're Princess Y/n and he's Prince Endymion. You two are star-crossed lovers, who always find a way back to each other." He says to her and, [Y/n] looks at him. A smile spreads, across her cheek. 

"Thanks Atlas." She says, petting him and, he purrs. She looks out the window, looking at the stars. As a picture of image of Mamoru's smile enters her head, tears stream down her cheeks. 

- [ Flashback ] - Silver Millennium 

[Y/n] was looking down at the ring, that Endymion gave her. She fiddles with it a smile, spread across her face. As she looks up at the moon, her hands clasp together. In prayer, hoping for the future for her and, Endymion to be allowed together. 

So they could start, a life together. And, as well have both the Earth and Moon kingdom together as one, where they could live together in peace. Where her and Endymion, could be happy and, as well either have a prince or princess of their own. 

She wanted to have a future with, him. That was her ultimate dream, for both kingdom's to be one. A life she wanted for both of them, to have a happy and, prosperous kingdom. She smiles as she looks up at the stars, as she looks down back at the ring. 

She was so lost in her own world, she didn't notice her sister coming up behind her. She tapped on her shoulder, causing [Y/n] to jump. 

"Ah, Serenity!" She shouts, turning back towards her sister. 

"Please you, must keep it a secret." She says, to her showing her the ring. 

"I love him so much, and I know it's forbidden." She says, fiddling with the ring a smile on her face. 

"What if he's using you?" Serenity asks, taking her sister's hand into her own, [Y/n] shakes her head, and looks at Serenity. 

"That's not like him, he'd never do anything like that. He loves me, I can see it in his eyes." [Y/n] says, to her a smile on her face. 

"But...I'm worried about you. I don't want to see you hurt." Serenity says to her and, she intertwines her fingers with her sisters. 

"You won't he promises to protect me." [Y/n] says, smiling at her looking back up at the stars. She smiles at her, Serenity looks at her sister. 

"Then.. I'm happy for you.."  Serenity says to her, [Y/n] wraps her arms around Serenity, she hugs her sister back. 

"For the both of you.." She says and, [Y/n] giggles at her. 

"And, the ring is beautiful." She says and, [Y/n] nods. 

"It is, I don't know if I can live in a world without him." [Y/n] says, looking at the Earth. 

"I want to be there with him, every second of everyday. In his arms, where I feel safe." She says, wrapping her arms around herself. 

"In his arms, is where I belong." She says, smiling looking up at the stars. 

"My Endymion, the love of my life.. My one true love.." She says, looking at the garden. 

[Time-Skip]

[Y/n] was on Earth dancing underneath the night sky with Endymion, a smile spread across both of their face. She giggled, as she looked into Endymion's eyes, his eyes that she'd always get lost in. Like he would for hers, her eyes that shined brighter than any other star in the sky he would say. 

Endymion placed his hand on her cheek and, she accepted it. Placing her hand over his, she leaned into his touch. She blushed at what she was thinking, "What is it, my star."  He asks and, she looks up at him a blush spread across her cheeks. 

"I-I was just thinking about, how it be life if we ever had a little prince or princess." She says, looking down embarrassed.. Endymion blushed at this, but he smiled. Placing his fingers underneath her chin, causing her to look up at him. 

"i'm sure, if we were to ever have a prince or princess. They'd have eyes that shine brighter than any other star and, your beauty. Kind, sweet, caring personality."  He says to her and, she smiles at him placing her hand on his cheeks. 

"And, I know that they have your, kind, caring, personality. And, will go to any lengths to protect the ones they love." She says, as the two intertwine their fingers and, share a kiss. Thinking about what it would be like, to have a prince and princess. 

"I can tell out future will be bright, full of love. Happiness." She says, snuggling her head into Endymion's chest. He places his head, on the top of her head. 

"Elara.." She says, smiling up at him.

"That's what I want to name our future princess, when we become one." She says, and Endymion smiles, placing his hand on her cheek. 

"Elara.." He says, nodding. And, she hugs him giggling. 

[ugh... i was gonna have the reader be secretly pregnant with his child.. but i decided not too...] .. 

SIKE! They are in love what do you expect.. but she's in the really early stages and, isn't getting any symptoms.. 

[Y/n] smiles as she looks up at the stars, her hand clasps together. Praying, 

'Please, let the Moon and Earth Kingdom be one kingdom, one day. Were Endymion and I, and possibly our future child can, live together happily. As a kingdom, that is peaceful. Where we aren't separated from the ones, we love.'' 

She says, looking up at the sky. Tears rolling down her cheeks, "My Endymion." She says, happily. Placing her hand, on her stomach, smiling softly. 

"My little Elara." She says, rubbing it gently. Feeling the tiny child in her stomach..She looks at the stars. But it was that same day, the Moon Kingdom fell. Where she lost Endymion, which in grief she took her own life. 

[Flash-back Ended] 

[Y/n] placed her hand on her stomach, tears brimming her eyes. She placed her hand over her mouth, 

"We were gonna have a princess." She says, choking back a sob. Closing her eyes, looking up at the ceiling. [Y/n], smiles looking down at the blanket.

She looks down at her stomach, even though she wasn't pregnant. It felt like she could feel the small child in her stomach, growing. A child they had created together through love in secret, she looked towards the window. And, up at the sky. 

Tears streaming down her cheeks, for a child she never had the chance of knowing. "Elara.." She says, softly looking up at stars. She closes her eyes and, smiles softly. 

[ i was gonna have a future flash where yall see Elara. .but i decided not and to wait till we get to that..]

[pbandjesse]

Today was a pretty nice day. It wasnt super interesting. I dont feel 100%. But it was a nice day. 

I slept alright. Had an easier time falling asleep. I woke up when I heard James on the phone. I would take a while to actually get up. I took the curlers out I had in. My hair looked so cute. The curlers and wrapped seems to work best for my hair. And I will probably just keep getting better at it. So thats cool. 

I loved my outfit today. I felt super cute. Just cozy. I hadnt planned on leaving the house so I wasnt super concerned about being warm. But we have hung up a curtain in the livingroom so now the big cold window from the kitchen isnt such a heat sink. So the rest of the apartment stays fairly comfortable and I can wear a tshirt. So thats nice. 

I had breakfast and played a little animal crossing. SweetP is being very lovey and in our faces. Its nice. James didnt have a ton to do with work today so we could just spend some time in the same room and it was calm and good. 

But around lunch time I decided to go for a drive. I didnt need anything so I just drove out to Savers. I had good music and enjoyed the drive. Seeing ice sheets fly off others' cars scared me every time. But I got out to the savers in one piece. 

It wasnt busy so that was cool. I had a really good time walking around and seeing things. I got a heart shaped tupperware and a vanity mirror. I also got a couple pieces of clothing. A dress for my renfair costumes. Because thats a fun thing to just build up a collection of. And a skirt. And a plain black sweatshirt I will put iron on letters on. Mostly I just walked around and enjoyed my time. 

But then I was like. I want to go home. I dont want to be out here anymore. I got to my car and was just. Time for home. 

I had trouble finding a spot to get into when I got back here. There were to many people parked badly. So the spaces were bad sizes and I had to go around the block twice. James would find a better spot for the car later. 

I had a nice afternoon though. I had a little lunch. And I got to work on my sweater. It didnt take to long to attach the sleeves once I figured out how to do it. I am super pleased with the fit of the sweater though. Its so warm. The body is a little more boxy but I think if I wear it for a bit it might loosen up a little. I am just so excited that I made this!! I am super proud of myself. And I learned a lot. I will probably try again and do better. But Im still excited about this one. 

After I finished my sweater I painted my nails. And then I worked on my jewelry drawing. Which continues to be hard. But Im learning still. 

I spent some time cleaning. And putting things away. I played with my roller skates for a little. I had left over chipotle. And soon James was done work. He went to move the car. And then he played video games and I painted his nails. He looks very pretty. 

I think now I am going to go get a shower and get in bed. Were going to go have lunch with my parents tomorrow and Im super excited. I am still dealing with this sinus issue, so lets hope it is just better tomorrow. Like today was better than yesterday. So send me good vibes and wish us luck on our travels tomorrow. Goodnight everyone!

[igottoomuchwriting]

For Forever Chapter 2

Series: First Part/Previous Chapter/Next Part

Connor Murphy: i stg if this mom doesnt chill tf out i will find where she lives and fight her

It has been a month since Connor and Evan started talking. At first, it was awkward, but slowly they broke the barrier through text messages and small conversations during English. Slowly they were learning more and more about each other.

Connor loved to read. Any book that they read as a class, Connor loved, even if it was an older one that everyone else thought was boring. One day in English, Connor had overheard a kid talking about how much they hated Pride and Prejudice and Connor started whispering to Evan about how the kid didn’t no good literature, how Lizzy was a feminist icon of the time, Darcy was the best boy and the romance was correctly written and “he was just pissy because he is a fucking white boy that doesn’t understand the hardships that women of those days have had to go through!”

He also loved TLC shows, especially Say Yes To The Dress. That was a shock to Evan, but Connor was talking about different dress one day and Evan was curious on how he knew. Connor was nervous to share, but he knew that he could trust Evan.

That’s what he was texting Evan about now. Hulu had put out new episodes and Connor was watching them while live texting Evan about everything that is going on.

Connor Murphy: SHES CRYING NOW AND THE MOM STILL WONT BUDGE

Connor Murphy: thats it

Connor Murphy: im flying to georiga. Ill see you later evan

Evan Hansen: I know you have that ability so please dont

Connor Murphy: like my parents would let me

Evan Hansen: Find something nice in Georgia that your mom would love to see. I’m sure that will get her going

Connor Murphy: well which is it hansen

Connor Murphy: should i go punch this lady in the face or no

Evan Hansen: Definite no

Evan never really was interested in those shows, but he did watch one episode to see what he loved so much about it. It was a good show, and he really did love Randy and most of the brides that came through the shop. His mom had walked in when he had it on the TV, which sparked a conversation of how they were and who Evan liked.

“You know this is a safe place, honey!” Heidi had cooed.

“I know,” Evan mumbled, looking down at the ground awkwardly.

Since then, he’s been trying to pointedly show that he likes girls, and only girls.

Connor Murphy: oh good the bride won

Evan Hansen: With Randy on her side, how could she not

Connor Murphy: true

Connor Murphy: shit

Connor Murphy: my mom is home

Connor Murphy: i have to go to my bed and pretend to get some sleep

Connor Murphy: night

Evan Hansen: Goodnight

Evan decided that he should probably go to bed too. He had a test tomorrow, and he needed to sleep so he wouldn’t freak out as much when the time came.

He quickly turned off the TV and headed back up to his room.

---

Evan did not get any sleep. Right as he was about to fall asleep, his mom came home. Since he was still delirious, he thought it was a burglar. Suddenly he was awake and on alert, ready to do what he needed to.

Without getting out of bed and drawing attention to himself, of course.

He stumbled off of the bus, shoulders slouched over and tired look in his eyes. His classmates shoved past him in a hurry to get to the cafeteria for breakfast, but Evan just slowly made his way to his locker.

“Acorn!” he heard Jared call. Evan turned around to see Jared walking towards him, same amount of confidence in his walk as he always had. His backpack was slung over his shoulder, so Evan assumed that his first period teacher is either late or has a sub who is late.

“Please don’t call me that,” Evan mumbled.

“Aw, come on! It’s a term of endearment. All fun and games, ya know?” He threw his arm over Evan’s shoulder and they continued the walk to their locker. “It’s a playful jab at a silly mistake you made.”

Evan’s hand shot to his cast, holding onto it gently.

Yeah. A silly mistake.

“I’m gonna come over today after school. My mom’s been wondering why we haven’t been hanging out lately.”

“Oh. Uh, okay.”

“You still got Mario Kart, right?” Evan nodded his head. It was the last gift his dad had gotten him before he left, and even though Evan is not fond of his dad, he still tries to hang on to when life was good.

“Cool! Then we can play that today!” Evan just nodded his head again and opened up his locker. Jared continued to talk about a girl--or the same girl that he met over the summer, he doesn’t know anymore--and Evan turned his head to the side to see Connor at his locker. He was slouched over and seemed to be angrily putting stuff into his backpack.

“Sorry, uh,” Evan spoke, interrupting Jared’s sentence, “I’m gonna go talk to Connor.”

“Really?” Jared turned to look at Connor as threw a book into his locker. He flinched. “I don’t think you wanna talk to that dude right now. He seems like he is in a bad mood.”

“That’s why I wanna, um, talk to him.” He started playing with the bottom of his t-shirt. “I want to see if he’s okay.”

“Your funeral, man,” he said with a shrug. He gave Evan one last violent pat on his shoulder before walking away.

Evan closed his locker and took a deep breath. Connor hasn’t been in a super bad mood since they started talking, so Evan was worried if Connor would even want to talk to him or not.

“Hey Connor,” he mumbled. Connor whipped his head around and shot a glare at Evan.

“What?” he snapped. Evan took a step back and looked down at the ground.

“Well you seem like you’re in a bad mood so I wanted to come over and see if you’re okay but you barely know me so I don’t know why you would even want to talk to me about it. I’m sorry I should’ve have even come over, I’ll leave, I’m sorry,” Evan stuttered out. All his words started blending together and he was stumbling over his words.

Connor sighed and hit his head against the top of the locker.

“No, I didn’t mean to snap at you. You did nothing wrong.” Evan glanced up at him before looking back down.

“It’s okay if you don’t want to tell me,” he mumbled. Connor was silent for a moment. Evan was just about to turn around and leave him alone when he started talking.

“My parents took my fucking phone last night because they didn’t believe that I was texting someone other than a fucking drug dealer. I told them that no goddamn drug dealer would be answering fucking calls at that hour because they were trying to act like normal fucking people but they took my phone anyway!” He slammed his locker closed and Evan jumped. “They don’t believe a fucking thing I say and it pisses me off because I was actually telling the truth this time!”

Evan looked around the hallway and saw people giving Connor both confused and dirty looks. He didn't know what to do. Jared never came to him for emotional things, and since Jared has been his only friend growing up, he never had anyone else come to him for anything. The closest that he has come to comforting someone was when he walked in on his mom having a breakdown, but even then she turned it around and made sure that he was okay.

“I’m sorry,” he mumbled. “That’s--That, um, sucks.”

“Understatement of the fucking century,” Connor grumbled.

The first bell rang, signaling that students have five minutes to get to class. Connor turned towards the doors at the end of the hallway.

“Wait, where are you going?” Evan anxiously called.

“Anywhere but fucking here.” With that, he was gone.

Evan watched Connor’s dark figure disappear around the corner outside, wondering if he should tell someone. What was Connor going to do? Would he hurt someone?

Would he hurt himself?

“Get to class, Mr. Hansen!” Evan heard a teacher call. Evan looked behind him to see Ms. Asher--the English teacher that no one liked--raising an eyebrow at him. Saying nothing, Evan moved on to his first class.

---

Evan hasn’t seen Connor all day. It was lunch time now and the boy still wasn’t here. Since they started talking more, he and Connor started sitting together at lunch. Connor never ate anything, and Evan did try, but sometimes his anxiety became too much and he just couldn’t stomach what the school was giving him. During those days, Connor tried his best to calm Evan down enough to where he would get Evan to each at least some bland tater tots.

That wasn’t the case today. He sat alone in the corner of the cafeteria, untouched food in front of him.

It’s not like he wasn’t used to this. Jared would never sit by him, always opting to work on programming by himself and not be seen with Evan, and since he had no other friends, he was pushed to the corner of the room.

Evan was deep in thought when he heard a voice.

“Evan Hansen?” Evan snapped his head up, only to freeze when he saw Zoe Murphy standing there, kind smile on her face.

“Oh, uh, yeah. That’s me,” he stuttered out. How long has she been standing there? Was she just waiting for Evan to notice her?

“Sorry to bother you, but can I ask you a question?” Oh okay, straight to the point. Evan wiped his palms on his jeans.

“Yeah! Yeah, of course.”

“Are you and my brother friends?” That’s not what he was expecting.

Are they friends? He doesn’t know if Connor considers Evan a friend, but does Evan?

“Uh, yeah,” he drew out. “Yeah, I guess.”

Zoe raised an eyebrow, but said nothing. She looked around the lunch room before sitting down across from Evan.

Oh God.

“Do you guys text?”

“Yeah, why?” Did something happen? Why would she need to know if they texted?

“Were you guys texting last night?”

“Yes?” Evan was about to have an anxiety attack. Did Connor tell her? Did Connor spill everything that Evan told him? Is Zoe making sure that this is the Evan Hansen that he is talking to so that she can go around and tell everyone?

“Okay,” she mumbled. She sighed and looked up at the ceiling. “I’m sorry for asking these questions, but Connor got his phone taken away yesterday and my parents wanted to see if who he was texting went to our school.”

“Oh.” Great, so Connor’s parents read their text messages? There was private stuff in there. He hasn’t even met these people and they already know his fears? Did Connor delete the texts he sent when he was having a mental breakdown?

“I haven’t seen the messages!” she quickly added. “My parents only asked if I knew the name ‘Evan Hansen’ and so I wanted to make sure it was you.”

“Okay,” he mumbled. They sat in a silence for a moment, neither knowing what to say.

Zoe broke the silence.

“When did you two start talking?” The questions continue.

“About a month ago?”

“Why?” Well that’s not going to be shared. How would Evan even say that? Yeah, you’re brother stole something of mine and flipped out on me but I was able to calm him down and get it back and now we are basically becoming best buds!

No.

“He, uh, wanted to apologize for getting mad at me in the hallway on the first day of school.” That was kind of the truth.

“And you guys kept talking because…?”

“He was nice.” Zoe immediately rolled her eyes. Oh no. Did he say something wrong?

“He’s not nice, Evan.”

“Wh-What?”

“He’s a druggie who will turn on you when you make one little mistake.” Evan stared at Zoe in disbelief. Here is Connor’s sister, who is known for being happy and helping others, staring at Evan with an angry look in her eye. She’s spending her time, giving Evan a warning.

“He--I don’t think--would he really?”

“He’s done it to me countless times.” Before Evan could say anything else, she stood up. “I’m not telling you what you should do. I’m just warning you that my brother is a loose canon.” With that, she left.

Evan stared at the spot she had just occupied. Zoe has obviously been with Connor her whole life and she knows more than Evan. If she is giving him a warning, he should listen.

Shouldn’t he?

---

When it was sixth period, Evan didn’t know what to do. Surprisingly, he didn’t have any homework to do for that day. He didn’t want to write a letter to his therapist either, as the only thing that happened today was talking to Zoe.

He decided to walk home. It was the last period of the day, and no one was going to be waiting for him. He also wanted to make sure his house was clean before Jared came over.

Evan didn’t get far off of campus before a truck pulled up next to him. With his headphones in, he didn’t hear the driver call out to him. He did hear the car horn, however.

He whipped his head to see Connor sitting in the truck, looking at him threw the passenger window. He quickly pulled out his headphones.

“Connor?” he asked.

“Get in, Hansen.” Evan didn’t question, he just walked across the grass dividing the street and the sidewalk and into Connor’s car.

Connor pulled out into the road before Evan could buckle his seatbelt fully.

It was silent between the two. Evan wanted to know where Connor went in the beginning of the day, if he was doing better, if he was okay in general.

“I didn’t mean to flip out on you earlier,” Connor stated.

“I know,” Evan mumbled. It was silent again. You would think after talking for a month, they would be a little better at talking to each other.

Evan watched all the trees go by. The radio was playing in the background, and the sky was blue with only a few clouds. Always a little strange for October weather.

“Have you ever been to the orchard?” Connor asked. Evan shot him a confused look.

“What orchard?”

“So I’ll take that as a no.”

“Where is it?” Evan asked.

“Well, it’s closed now, but it was almost like a forest reserve for people to go to. You could have picnics, there was a creek, all that fun stuff.” Evan hummed.

The rest of the car ride was filled with small talk. At some point, they had gotten onto the topic of bands they liked, and it blew up from there.

“You’ve never heard of Hollywood Undead?” Connor laughed. “How the fuck have you not?”

“They’re not a very popular band, obviously,” Evan shot back. Connor turned to him with a look as if he had personally attacked Connor’s work himself.

“They are popular!”

“Sure, Connor.”

“You shut the fuck up, Mr. ‘Taylor Swift is a better country singer than pop’.”

“Well, she is--”

“You have no taste.”

It wasn’t long before they reached where Connor was taking them. Evan looked around as Connor turned off the car and saw trees everywhere, as well as a gate with a sign that said “NO TRESPASSING”.

“Uh, what are we, uh, doing here?” Evan asked.

“We’re gonna walk around.”

“W-Wait, what?”

“Come on, Hansen,” Connor called, ignoring the panic rising in the boy. He hopped out of the car and Evan quickly followed, leaving his backpack in the car.

“We can’t go in!” he called out. Connor rolled his eyes.

“Trust me, it’s fine.”

“What if someone finds us? What if they see your car and come searching and then we get in trouble? What if we get arrested? I can’t have my mom bail me out of jail, and your parents won’t--”

“Evan!” Connor yelled. Evan immediately stopped talking. “It’s fine. I come here all the time. I was just here earlier, and no one found me. No one even thinks about this place anymore.”

Evan nodded his head in understanding and looked down at the ground. He heard Connor take a deep breath.

“Just… Come on. You can trust me.”

Evan followed Connor to the fence. Right under the trespassing sign was a cut part of the fence that looked like it was able to be pushed back. Connor pushed the fence piece back and held it open, motioning for Evan to make his way through.

Evan made it on the other side, careful with his cast, and Connor followed suit. Evan looked around in amazement. How come this place was abandoned?

“This place got closed down after they opened up the park as a national park,” Connor answered his unasked question. “Apparently people feel like going to a national park would be more fun than an orchard, even though it’s the same fucking thing.”

Connor stared walking into the trees and Evan was quick to follow.

It was gorgeous. It was a surprise that he has never seen this place. His mom and dad would always love to take them out and show him the nature, the flowers, the birds. It was a big part of his life, and a big reason why he loved trees. Participating in the Junior Ranger program was a way for him to try and go back to those times.

Happier times.

“So homecoming’s coming up,” Connor stated. “You going?”

“Well, uh, probably not?” Those kind of things were never Evan’s thing.

“Even if a cute girl asked you out?” Connor laughed as Evan blushed. The only girl Evan would even want to ask him out is Zoe, but after their conversation, he has been questioning his relationship with her.

“If someone asked me out, that’d be a shock in itself.”

Connor laughed. “Fair enough.”

“What about you?” Evan asked. “You going?”

“No. No way.”

“Not even if a girl asks you?”

“There’s no girl that could make me go to any dance.” Evan hummed.

“What if your crush asked you? There is a girl you like, right?” Connor gave him a side look and coughed.

“Yeah. A girl…” He didn’t say anything after, and Evan didn’t want to push it, so they fell back into silence.

“We’re here.” Evan gave him a confused look.

“Wait, where?”

“Look.” Evan looked anxiously at the space past the trees Connor motioned to before walking forward.

Past the trees was a big open grass field, surrounded by trees. The wind was blowing the long grass gently and the sun was peeking out from behind the threes, just getting ready to set for the night.

Evan was in shock. This place was gorgeous.

“I assume you like it?” he heard Connor call.

Evan shook his head. “Connor, this--this is amazing! How did you find it?”

“I was just walking around one day and stumbled upon it.”

Evan stared at the whole place. Connor watched him with a smile.

“You said you like to climb trees, right?” Connor asked. Evan stiffened up.

“Um, yeah,” he stuttered out.

“Come on. There’s a tree with really low branches.” Connor started walking away towards a tree that Evan saw stuck out from the rest. It was slightly out of the circle of trees, and Evan understood why Connor chose that one. The branches are definitely lower than the others, and easier for the boys to reach.

“I--I don’t think I can climb right now,” Evan called towards him. Connor turned and gave him a confused look.

“Why not?” Evan just held up his cast. Connor looked at for a second before realization hit. “Fuck, that’s right. I’m a fucking moron.”

“Sorry,” Evan shrugged.

“Why are you sorry?”

“You wanted to climb the tree, and I can’t.” Connor sighed and shook his head.

“That’s not your fault, man.” Evan nodded his head and decided not to say anything else.

His phones started buzzing in his pocket. He quickly pulled it out to see who is was.

It was Jared.

“Shit,” he mumbled under his breath. Connor was next to him now, looking down at his phone.

“Kleinman? What does that fucker want?” Evan opted to not comment on Connor’s obvious hatred of Jared.

“I forgot I was supposed to hang out with him today.” He hit answer and turned away.

“Evan! Where are you?”

“I’m sorry, I was walking home but Connor wanted to hang out--”

“Connor? Connor Murphy? You’re with him right now?”

“Yes, I’m sorry, I am headed back right now--”

“Did he kidnap you or something, dude? You guys never hang out outside of school. I never even thought the guy was stable enough to do something.”

Evan anxiously shot a look at Connor, but he was picking at his nail polish, so Evan was sure he didn’t hear Jared.

“He can. I’m sorry, I’m so sorry I’m heading back now. Just go inside, I’ll be home soon, ignore the mess.”

“Whatever you say dude. Bye.”

With that, Jared hung up. Evan turned back to Connor, fiddling with his phone.

“I’m sorry Connor, can we--”

“Yeah, we can go back.” Connor clipped. Evan flinched. He looked down at the ground anxiously.

“Sorry, this was fun, but--”

“I know,” Connor forced a smile across his face. “You and Jared had plans. Nothing wrong with that.”

Connor started walking away, and Evan couldn’t help but get the feeling that Connor was truly upset.

He quickly followed Connor back to his car and tired to calm down his anxiety.

“Thank you for taking me here,” Evan said when they got back into Connor’s truck.

“Yeah. We can come back.” Evan looked down to hide a smile.

Connor actually wanted to hang out with him again. Hang out, in public, for no reason other than to hang out with Evan.

Is this was real friendship is like?

[flamebrain]

mattfoggy hcs, straight from the bastard empire sorry these all read like shitepostes(L O N G post under cut you’ve been warned)

WTNV au:

nightvale is just populated by like. vigilantes and other poewered people and foggy shoes up one day like. hey anyone need a lawyer? and the whole town falls in love w him

MURDERDOCK IS KEVIN

matt does radio and talks about foggys perfect hair and perfect teeth and foggy calls in like "heh, thanks dude, but aren't you like blind?" and matt shuts the call off immediatley

everybody knows matt is daredevil because he makes wink wink nudge nudge comments about it like 'ah. it appears that an entity has appeared near the dog park. castle appears to be on the scene now, and...ok, he's got a gun. i cant do anything about that, but my pal (noises of him scrambling and obviously knocking things over) daredevil might be able OKHERESTHEWEATHER" and it cuts off and like. he shows up 5 seconds later to kick frank in the face for using lethal measures AGAIN

EVERY TIME IT CUTS TO THE WEATHER AND THEN CUS BACK AND THE PROBLEM HAS BEEN SOLVED ITS JUST MATT. like. breathing just a little heavier than normal into the mic like. 'so it appears uh. the issue has been resolved thanks again to daredevil and his pal moon knight. such a shame i had to cower under my desk while the weather was on. ok goodnight'

the funky thing abt nightvale in this au is that it's basically just like. new york from 616 but foggy's like. from our earth so he's like HWAT THE FUCK AND AHIT IS GOING ON IN HERE ON THIS DAY AND WHY CANT I LEAVE he gets kidnapped by super villains on like his second day in town and immediatley regrets every life choice he's ever made

matt works at nightvale radio by day and conviently cuts to the weather every time something comes up so sometimes there's like. 7 half hour weather broadcasts a day and the townspeople just. humor him

foggy falls in love with matt after figuring out after .5 seconds that he's daredevil and he saved him from a bunch of baddies on like his second day and matt compliments him on the radio like every day and yeah they're fuckin good ok assorted stupid college hcs: matt and foggy like to chill in each other's beds. foggy doesn't notice that often because matt moves back b4 he gets back and matt pretends not to notice but  like. he can smell foggy was there. foggy. stop napping in this bed you're making my sheets smell like you, foggy, i KNOW they're silk and i know you think you're getting away with it but you're NOT,

matt, coming back into the dorm after being out for the day: foggy are you laying on my bed foggy, sitting up straight: nah pal. just sitting on the end for a minute hehe. just had to rest the old joints matt, knowing DAMN well that he was lying down a second ago and he's obviously lying but not being able to say anything; haha ok. move

hrnnn matt knows foggy is gay long before he tells him because he catches him in a lie about who he was out with but he can't say anything and like. he knows foggy is scared to tell him but he doesn't know how to bring it up and he's like. i want him to know he can trust me but i don't know how to tell him i know please foggy

foggys heart goes a mile a minute anytime the subject of being gay comes up around matt and matt wants to yell at him that it's OK and he doesn't care but his hints that he's fine with it seem to fly right over foggys head and so one day he gets so fed up with trying to convince foggy he's chill with gay people he just kisses him. wig

hrnnn. matt doesn't like the snow because it messes with his senses and he can't see but he can't say that to foggy so he just says he doesn't like the cold and foggys like "yeah doofus you weigh like three pounds you're skin and bone compared to me smh" and insists on cuddling him every time he sees matt get like That bc he thinks he's just chilly and it's. oddly comforting to matt because yeah. nobody really Holds him like that, and he Is Cold, and foggy is Warm,

matt gets Very touchey around people he's close with and so when he gets close with foggy he puts his arm around him a lot, rests his head on his shoulder, holds his arm even when they're not going anywhere, etc. foggys heart speeds up every time but matt just assumes that's what people hearts do when that happens because he doesn't really do that with anyone else and hey, he's happy when he does it and his heart maybe spikes a little too, but then he gets someone else's arm to lead him when foggys sick one week and their heart stays the exact same, what's up with that? so then he starts paying attention to all the people on campus, and the touching doesn't usually make the hearts go wild, but, well. matt 'sees' it happens and he's like HaHa, See, This is A Thing, and then he realizes that the people that have it happen to them? they're couples. and he just. freezes because first of all, Foggy- and at him- an- and second, his heart ALSO does a thing, so-

heres a rEALLY stupid unrelated au/hc i got after hearing a friends disater story hfdjhskja matt goes on a blind (hehe) date with a girl and it's pretty much a disaster, it turns out she brought her friend who is also meeting a guy at the same place, and like. she's obviously incredibly wack she says blind people are god's mistake and stupid shit like that so matt gets up halfway through their meal to go sit in the bathroom for 20 minutes while he thinks of an excuse to leave? and eventually a guy comes in and he's like 'uh hey, dude, you in here? your date grabbed her friend and left so we're both dateless now, thats a relief for me and unless you're just having incredibly bad bowel movements i think it's pobably one for you since you Have been in here for like half an hour uh im foggy by the way' and then they go back out and sit together and talk about how wack that fuckin was and like. inadvertent date

hey i can talk a lot of shit about how matt falls asleep on foggy but. sometimes foggy falls asleep on or next to or with matt and matt goes !!!! and he does not move and then he eventually falls asleep with foggy head on his shoulder and his head on foggys and when FOGGY wakes up and realizes matts still there and is ALSO asleep he doesn't move and eventually falls back asleep and then it's just like. waiting until the time aligns that they're both awake at the same time because neither wants to move and wake the other send tweet

SOULMATE AU:

foggy looks up from his college bed, sees matt, and suddenly EVERYTHING is fucking rainbow and he's like 'oh fuck. oh shit. wait. this is a dude' and matt's like 'is everything ok my guy?' because foggy's like. >:O and of course he has no idea because he's blind but foggy doesnt realise this and for a hot minute he;s like "OH FUCK. ITS ONE OF THOSE RARE OCASIONS WHERE HES PERFECT FOR ME BUT I'M NOT FOR HIM," and is about to s o b before he's like wait a fucking minute

yknow the au where like. the first words you hear from your soulmate are marked on your skin at birth? foggy's are 'excuse me', absolutley common, a chance meeting, and he stops jumping every single time he hears them after age 8 when he realises just how many times that phrase is said. matt's are 'yeah, who're you looking for,'  but he doesnt remember that, there's no constant reminder of it since he's blind, the nuns wouldn't tell him, the kids made up childish shit like 'poopoo', and stick DEFINITLEY wouldnt fucking tell him because hes stick and hes an asshead and eventually matt stops asking and caring. it takes WEEKS for after they meet for foggy to ask matt about his words and matt just says 'oh yeah, i dont remember. here" and shows foggy and when he sees them he's like. 'hm. sounds familiar' and forgets about it untill like two years later theyre drunk and talking about the first time they met and matt's like 'yeah you asked like 'who'm i looking for and then panicked because i was blind' and foggy's brain just like. short circuits for a whole ass minute and then when it clicks he just goes. "yOU"

TRANS MATT:

matt realises when he's still in the orphanage that mayhaps he hates being not a dude and haha! hes not gonna fucking come out to catholics he knows about That. he tries to tell stick, around the time their closest, and FUCK STICK he refuses to call him anything else or support him becaise stick is a peace of fuck shit FUCK STICK so that scars matt from coming out for a DAMN while so like. when he goes to college he introduces himself to everyone as matt and emails his proffesors like. 'hello please my name is redacted on your forms please call me matt its uh. a nickname' and he's not like. out to anyone but matt is close enought to his deadname that most people don't question it. foggy does, though, a little while after they meet, and matt is so fed up with not telling people and being called the wrong pronouns he just goes 'i want to be a guy ok' and goes absolutley APESHIT when foggy's like 'oh, cool. do you want me to use he pronouns for you' because wait. people are...ok sometimes? and matt's like. about to cry 

 alternatley: matt says "I don't wanna be a girl." and foggy goes "oh hey are you trans? same hat!" and then foggy tells matt like. binding tips and shit and theyre Good ok

deadpool kills transphobes, sm n dd just fucking beat the SHIT out of them in a back alley and like. they let DP know where they are but whatever happens happens :D

elektra, impaling two transphobes onto the side of a building with her knives: matthew, i know you can hear me, why

one day elektra sees matt has dumped a guy on her roof and just. sighs and goes back inside and matt waits for like 15 minutes before halfheartedly picking up the dude and dropping him off at franks.

matt dropped them off at nats One Time and she went apeshit and hunted down like 20 more of them.

foggy, holding a bat: cmon matt let me kill ONE matt: 'fine but if you get caught im not going to be your lawyer.'

INTO THE DEVILVERSE AU:

earth 14512/TRN700 (peni parker’s universe) matt murdock has a robot seeing eye dog who's also a vigilante

hddjdsjdhdn they all show up to earth 6's foggy and he just. sighs and all the devils start crying because He Is Here

hmm ok. canonically we know nothing about miles's matt but we know he exists and is known figure because miles knows of him but doesn't know he's daredevil i'm Prefty Sure so like. i'm gonna say he's just a successful lawyer who has radarsense but never got yoinked away from the orphanage by stick and never got training so like. hemndhdjsjnow the QUESTION is who finds that matt because there's a Very Different outcome depending on if like. murderdock meets him first or the matt from hobopeters universe does

hmm. murderdock comes in first like gwen does but doesn't out himself as competent w like swords and shit. but he OH HES THE OPPOSING FORCE FOR UH A COURT CASE MATT IS IN AND MATT HAS NO IFEA HOW SIMILAR THEY LOOK BECAUSE HES BLIND HRNNNNNHSHDHDHDJ and then matt from HP's universe comes in like HEY YOURE ME RIGHT. what the FUCK i need the laws in this dimension STAT and murderdock ':"sees" him and is like ah fuck. my goose may be uhhh cooked

ok mileses matt is like 'so what brought y'all here??? hhh????  and murderdock sighs and goes well my boss who's not really my boss from MY universe is doing something stupid here and opened a dimensional portal and it could maybe tear the multiverse apart which i guess i'm not stoked about' and matt's like 'who's your boss?' and murderdock begrudgingly says 'wilson fisk' and matt immediatley goes >:O because he's CONSTANTLY defending people who were injured as a result of what fisk and his company do

anyways. matt immediatley rushes to foggys because "foggys my partner, he's helped me deal with fisk, he knows him, he can help," and he swings open the door and like. one of two things happens actually either A: foggy is like matt. MAATT. AHAT IS GOING ON WH. WHY IS THERE A TALKING DEER WEARNING SPANDEX WHO CLIMBED THROIGH MY WINDOW MATT PLEASE HE SAYS HES Y O U or like. matt walks in and deerdevil is playing pattycake with robodog and daredevil noir is incessantly flirting with foggy and when matt comes in foggys like 'hey. i don't know what's going on but i think i'm trading my best friend'

murderdock is like...the cool college student who tells freshies about weed murderdock: so, you don't know how to fight right  matt: no??? i'm blind??? md: but you can kinda see right. matt: yeah like a radar kinda md: normal blind people can't do that you know matt: they wHAT md: you can listen to heartbeats if you try hard enough. you can tell when people are lying matt: i can W H A T md: yeah. what me to teach you how to kill a man matt: W H AT NO IM A L A W Y E R WH

hrnnn the matts in this universe push our matt away to stay with foggy because he doesn't deserve 2 die and you KNOW every matt pushes people away but foggy is like. matt i know you tried it's ok i lov you buddy and he's like HRGGHHHH FUNCK YOU and makes foggy tell him stories untill he can distinguish lies and hide in a place around their office untill matt can like. find him instantly and training montage shit you feel me and he rolls up to the collider in his black pjs like "hello my fellow devil men. i hear you all have no plan. well. i don't either but i'm here" and one matt is like. how did you go-OH YOU DID IT and all the mats high five and cry a littlethey're still reluctant to let matt come help but they're all like. "we're all depressed and suicidal anyways we all have big guilt and if we didn't let him i lnOW he's gonna have big guilt forever he can stay"

THE PENUMBRA PODCAST AU:

foggy is a private eye, kinda depressed a lil bit, and he works w his secretary karen who helps him with tech and stuff because he is god awful at all that 

"mike whatevermaggiesmaidennameis" is an occult specialist from dark matters agency assigned by an agent natasha of dark matters to help him with his current case. 

foggy does NOT want to do this with any damn occultist or whatever the hell but before he can escape mike shows up and god DAMN is he charming and catches him before he can climb out the window, so. that's that for introductions. anyways, hijinks, elektra is cassandra, if you care listen to the murderous mask, anyhoo foggy stars to notice something is kinda weird about matt but brushes it off. they finish investigating and retrieve an important artifact.

it's cold, mike says. sorry dude, all the places near here are closed, foggy says. is your place? mike asks. oh, says foggy they go back to foggys place and maybe make out a little bit, but foggy realizes oh shit, mike just tried to steal the keys to my safe where i stored the artifact, shit, and plaxces him under arrest before he can do anything, and calls the cop cops.

they come to take mike away, and minutes later foggy finds a note, scrawled INCREDIVLY messily, in his pocket. "sorry," it says, "i wasn't tricking you about anything i said, and i meant everything i did. -matt murdock ps. check around, say, X avenue. you may have to do a bit of cleanup." when foggy checks cameras that overview there, he find the officers that took murdock from his apartment hogtied together, and sees their clothes strewn on the ground - forming letters - with love. their car is gone. PODCAST AU:

matt listens to podcasts a lot right and so foggy is like hmm mayhaps this is a good idea. but the type of podcasts they listen to differs so incredibly like matt listens to serial and the wildest one he listens to is probably judge john hodgman whereas foggy listens to shitpost podcasts like mbmbam and can i pet your dog foggy keeps referencing mbmbam around matt because he just assumes that he listens to it and matt is so confused every time and one day foggy says "damn matt you're really horny for this one huh" and matt just snaps and says FOGGY WHAT DO YOU M E AN

so then they are like oh shit you're not listening to the good ones. no YOURE not listening to the good ones. solution?  listen together which means sharing earbuds which means sitting next to eachother on small college bed which means????? cuddling

also eventually they decide fuck it. let's make our own podcast and they combine the mbmbam and jjh format so they get questions and do goofs and stuff and then give actual legal advice but sometimes foggy will be like "ok. here's what you do. you need a cat? go into the pet shelter and take one. what are the gonna do beat you up with their cat toys? didn't think so." and matt starts crying because "Fo g g y WE ARE LAWYERS I KNOW YOURE GOOFING BUT THATS ILLEGAL FOGGY YOI CANT TELL OUR LISTENERS TO GO DO CRIME"

COFFE SHOP AU:

matt has a caffeine addiction and constantly comes to foggys coffee shop and orders one black coffee every morning and foggy eventually is like. hey buddy. do you EVER drink ANYTHING F U N EVER

matts like...no...i need coffee as strong and dark as my soul... and foggys like ok edglelord. wait up i'm about to change your life

foggy makes him a latte that's just a little bit caramelly but not too sweet and he's like here. drink this. no charge you deserve to live a little. also here's your boring edgy coffee you still have to pay me for that one. matt tries it and he's like hmm. not bad, but just not. Good and foggy is like wow fuck you. i'm going to find a good drink for you that isn't this hell water so every morning matt comes in and foggy gives him a black coffee and a free Fun and Cool coffee on the house

matt always is polite even when foggy can tell he DESPISES what foggy made but he's not going to stop untill he finds something god damn it matt

ok anyways they start meeting up more. matt starts taking his breaks in the coffee shop and and foggy hmmm...always seems to have a shift off when matt comes down..hmm. coincidence....hmmm....theo suffers for him by covering all his shifts when matt comes in and he's like well, actually fuck work

eventually foggy is like hey dude. do you wanna test my drinks before they go on the menu or help me perfect my recipes and shit you have a good toungie right (matt goes apeshit, because fuckin FOGGY YOU CABT SAY THAT) but he's like haha yeah. that'd be fun. haha

and then foggy finds out matt is INCREDIBLE at baking when he hands him a cookie and matt goes. hmm. too much flour add a fourth a cup less and a pinch more of saltand he's like??? bitch. i'd like to see you do better. and then matt does

so basically every day foggy closes up a little earlier and lets matt in and they dick around in the kitchen and bake and make coffee and foggys shop gets more and more popular because hey this already really good joint just started selling the most BALLER carrot cAke waht the fucké

anyways fall comes around and foggy is like GUES WHATT ITS TIME FOR WHITE GIRL DRINKS TRY THIS and he gives matt a pumpkin spice latte and matt is like. •.• THIS IS IT. THATS THE ONE

and foggy starts crying MATT PLEASE YOU HAVE TO BE FUCKING KIDDING ME. PKEASE MATT, MATT I CANT ADD PSL YEARROUND BECAUSS YOURE A BASIC WHITE BITCH MATT

he bullies foggy into keeping the latte on the menu by threatening to stop helping him bake and foggy is SO OFFENDED, on behalf of good taste everywhere, matt, please,

anyways foggy continues rags on matt for only liking the shittiest fucking drink god damn it matthew fucking hell i make you 3 billion and THIS is the one you pick you disaster and matt is like haha shut up. stoopid

foggy doesn't, and you can guess where this be headed because i'm gay and soft,

matt kisses him and foggys like. ?????????? and matt goes AH FUCK. I COULDNT THINK OF A BETTER WAY TO GET YOU TO SHUT YOUR MOUTH SORRY. GUESS ILL GO and foggy throws cookie dough at him and drags him back over because he's not leaving fuck that. fuck you. and then they're happy and domestic the end

wait i lied matt opens a pro-bono firm in the back of foggy's shop and he gives all his clients freshly baked dessert and coffee and he's so good at being a lawyer and foggy becomes so good @ running his shop that customers keep coming and they're the Cute Gay Couple everyone knows abt and loves

ACCIDENTAL (?) KISSING:

SO. there are so many god damn moments foggy nearly fucking breaks and smooches matt out of sheer unbridled uwu soft feelings. SO MANY. when they win their first mock trial together and matt looks so FUCKING happy and he tells foggy how good they work as a team and foggy is about to lose his mind but he just goes. 'haha yeah' and gives matt a fist bump they finish taking the bar: matt's had to take it in a seperate room, stupid blind accommodations. he finishes first because OF COURSE HE DOES HE'S MATT MURDOCK and the second foggy finishes and leaves the room he sees matt there and he's filled with so many emotions he's about to go apeshit but he manages to contain them JUST enough not to make out with matt on the spot but gives him the tightest fucking hug and matt's like "ok buddy! love you too! please dont break my ribs!" and foggys too happy to notice matt forgot to flinch like he didnt know foggy was coming

Foggy gets the sign to matt and he can tell how fuckin stoked matt is and all he can think about is how grateful he is that the two of them get to work together and fucking do GOOD together and he's trying to express that in his awkward foggy way and he's GOING to kiss him right then and there!! hes about to do it look out world!!! and then matt says "you're NOT going to kiss me" and foggy realises haha YEAH THATD BE A BAD IDEA HUH and jokes it off and gives matt another hug - "i'll be careful not to break the ribs this time, buddy, seems like you've been falling over and hurting yourself enough recently,"-

foggy almost kisses matt out of anger when he finds out he's daredevil, when he won't shut up about how this city needs him and foggy would have done the same and blah, blah, bullshit because maybe then he'd FUCKING listen to him, or at least it'd shut him up, but the honest betrayal he feels - at matt for not telling him and at himself for STILL having a part of him that wants to kiss matt - is enough to get him just to leave : ^)

alright. the gang is watching fisk get carted away and see that SHIT, he's broken out, of course it wasnt going to be this easy. matt puts karen in a taxi goes to run off and foggy grabs him by his coat because MATT. you're not going to go fight fisk in your god damn pajamas right now it's too dangerous you're going to die you stupid son of a bitch idiot

and of course matt doesn't listen, he tells foggy to get back into the car with karen, go to his place, they'll be safe there, and grabs his own taxi

and foggy's left to sit there with karen in the cab as it drives Oh Too Fucking Slowly to matt's, and he's mumbling curses all the way and karen is trying to calm him down, he doesnt know why he's so worried, and all foggy can think about is what if matt dies because i didnt stop him and what if karen never gets to hear it from him and about 10 billion what-ifs that wont leave him the FUCK alone, and he sits next to the windowsill he knows matt comes in through and waits, not even wanting to look at the tv because what if he sees worse news Hrgh

matt beats up fisk and he barely even waits for the cops to get there, he gets one look and confirms 'yup, that's mahoney,' and fucking BOOKS it to his apartment, he climbs through the window and foggy's just sitting there waiting, karens in the next room watching the broadcast at a 3 minute delay on her phone, matt doesnt have a tv hes BLIND >:,\

and when matt comes in, bloody and beaten up and doing That Panting Thing He Does, but definitley alive, foggy just fucking. grabs him by the shoulders and kisses him because HE IS A L I V E !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and matt is suprised but he doesnt even try to protest because he's still riding the adrenaline from the fight

anyways. foggy pulls away for air and says 'you're so fucking stupid and i hate you' and then matt kisses hIM because uhh, thats FOGGY

and it's a minute later that matt senses another heartbeat and realizes karen's standing in the doorway, and she raises an eyebrow and obviously trying not to panic asks 'uh, foggy, pray tell, buddy, why you're making out with the devil in matt's bedroom' and foggy goes apeshit and tries to think of an excuse that doesn't invole 'uh thats matt' but it just kinda comes out as some stupid shit like 'i,,, uh,,,,, secret,...affair,,?i',m....gay." and matt just sighs and pulls off his helmet like "hey karen. it's me. hey karen whats poppin its me blind matt murdock" and needless to say they all have a Lot to talk abt

DRUNK KISSING:

so like. the first year they're together matt and foggy go out a lot, and it's mostly foggy dragging matt places and matt reluctantly coming because A) if someone doesnt watch foggy this idiot is going to puke and pass out in a ditch and B) he really like his company shh. no telling because that gay

anyways matt usually only drinks a little but foggy is mad lightweight right. he doesn't get shitfaced too often, usually only after exams or when he knows he has no classes the next day. when he does get shitfaced though he absolutley loses his shit and becomes even more touchy than usual, which is VERY TOUCHY because fuck you its my au and i get to choose the default affection levels

so basically. once foggy starts hugging matt and leaning on him and whining into his shirt about the 'hot girls' and 'killer nachos' at the party matt knows it's time to head home and foggy is too busy wrapping his arms around matt to notice he's being dragged out untill its too late

and y'know, thats fine, that's usual, all normal friend stuff, except what foggy also has a tendancy to do when he's drunk is kiss matt. sometimes its on his cheeks, or his forehead, or his shirt?? matt doesnt get that one??? and sometimes foggy even tries to go for the lips when hes particularly wilde. matt knows to expect this by the third time they go out, but it's still always a suprise when it happens, because sometimes it'll be out of nowhere when theyre walking back, or foggy'll stop matt and grab his cheeks and kiss him? sometimes they'll get all the way back to the dorm and matt will make foggy lie down and foggy will grab his shirt and pull him close enough to give him a quick peck before rolling over and promptly beggining to snore

which, y'know, is absolutley great for a maybe-gay-for-his-best-friend-catholic. what's also great is that foggy never seems to remember the fact he kissed matt the night before, and if he does, he definitley does NOT bring it up

so that's fine. whatever. thats life and matt will pretend like he doesnt care when foggy gives him a smooch because hes straight and loves girls and jesus christ, no homo, amen

but THEN. . then matt and foggy have been studying for exams for weEKS and theyre FINALLY DONE, FINALLY, and they are both going to get wasted out of their mINDS you better BELIEVE IT

so they do! and eventually they stumble back to their dorm together and sit together on the floor with a half-downed bottle of tequila and matt decides fuck it. he tells foggy he's never kissed a guy and foggy is like "haha cool. i have." matt's like "haha was it good" and foggys like "hell yeah man better than girls" so matts like hmm. "foggy i think i want to kiss a guy" and you can guess where this is goin

foggy is an oblivious little shit and just thinks matt's having a gay awakening so he's like "oh cool" and matt starts vibrating at inhuman frequency because FOGGY THIS IS THE ONE TIME I"M BASICALLY ASKING YOU TO DRUNK KISS ME AND YOU D O N T" so he just goes "haha yeah." and foggy's like "haha yeah"

and then matt chugs the bottle of tequila and says "foggy i think i wanna kiss you" and then he does but he's a good christian and also stupid so he just like. goes mwah on foggy's cheek

and foggy stares at him for like 15 seconds before basiclly challenging him to 'kiss him like a man, murdock, how are you supposed to get the gay experience if you dont go all in' and then they make out for like 20 minutes and life is good

(they both wake up w the worst fucking hangovers and theyre passed out on the floor and matt's like "foggy....im gay..." and foggys like "haha do you remember i kissed you" and matts like "????foggy i kissed YOU" and foggys like "oh yeah you did. you should have done that earlier" and matts says "????you were too busy trying to kiss me" and foggy goes "oh haha i was. cool" and then they fall back asleep...then they.....boyfriend.s)

FLOWER SHOP/TATTOO ARTIST AU:

so. matt is a florist and he runs a little shop across the street from an empty piece of real estate. a tiny place that used to be a deli but had just the WORST sandwiches, it was no wonder they closed down, god damn. anways. matt runs his shop with his best friends kirsten and karen who have IMPECCABLE taste in flowers and less impeccable taste in impulse control and not being huge lesbians.

one day this dude pulls up into matt's shop. his request is maybe the strangest matt's ever heard - 'can you get me two bouquets of like, the most metal flowers you have? like, ones that just look super cool but also, yknow, smell super good and sick and shit?' 

matt laughs, and tells the guy that yeah, he can't help with the looks part, but he'll make sure to get him some that smell 'quote' sick and shit, come back tomorrow morning and they'll have some ideas-hey, what are these for anyways?

and the guy tells him, oh, hah, i'm moving in across the street, opening a little tattoo place? wanted some flowers to make it seem more, uhh....welcoming. matt laughs and says yeah, sure, cool, and tells him if he has anymore questions to call the store and ask for matt. the guy tells him if he ever wants a tattoo just cross the street and ask for foggy and unless the flowers matt gives him really suck he won't do him dirty and tattoo a dick on him

so anyways, they have a couple meetings, foggy decides on the flowers he wants and thanks matt and tells him hey, he should come check out the shop, it's opening tomorrow, and foggy wants to be able to point to the guy who did the sick florals. matt doesnt have anything better to do and he likes the sound of this guy's voice so hell, he might as well

when he goes over matt realizes oh shit. he really is out of his element here, but he asks the guy at the counter for 'foggy' and is led over to  a corner where foggy's sitting and tattooing...himself? and matt realizes hey. i kind of have no idea what this dude looks like

so he sorta. sits there awkwardly untill he asks like. 'uh. i cant actually see what youre doing' and foggy goes OH IM SO FUCKING STUPID. i'm. man, saying this out loud seems kinda really stupid and cheesy i cant believe i have to do this...i'm....it's one of the flowers in the bouquet you made me....i just thought it looked really neat and smelled good and it....kinda reminds me of you and OK i KNOW that sounds really weird we met like 4 days ago BUT you seem super cool and i kinda hope we can maybe like. be friends or hang out or something,

and matt's like. o//////o yeah okay. uh. thats cool. thats cool uh im sure the flower is really pretty haha i love that type haha UH DO YOU WANT TO GET LUNCH OR SOMETHING haha maybe ill get a flower tattoo one day its pretty cool that you do tattoos UH IM FREE TOMOROW WAIT MAYBE THATS TOO SOON IM SORRY UH IM FREE WEDNESDAYS,

and foggy just kinda laughs and says 'no, tomorrow works,' and hey! they make plans and get coffee together and matt's like so. what tattoos do you have and foggy starts listing a bunch and eventually matt's like :( i wish i could see them they sound beautiful and foggy's like. here. heres my arm can i. yeah ok. and he grabs matts ar,m and he's like ok. feel the skin, its still a little raised can you feel that? ok, run your fingers over here and i can like. tell you wjats there

cue like an hour of sensual arm touching and tattoo explaining and the more matt learns about foggy and his tattoos and the more he hears the way he talks the more he's like A) oh fuck, i kinda really like this guy whos letting me feel up his arms and B) do i want a tattoo? i kind of want a tattoo

anyways. time jump they hang out a bit more, foggy always comes into matt's shop and talks to him in between customers, shows him the patterns he's designing, etc, and one day he comes in with a paper that has a design of some flowers on it and shows it to matt and as he's running his fingers across it he stops and says 'foggy? will you do this to me'

and foggys like 'bud are you sure? first tattoo, right, do you-are you really sure you want to do this, like, when, and wh" and matt's like 'shut up and put this ink in my skin before i chicken out' so matt sits through a PAINFUL ASS TATTOO and when it's done he's like FOGGY CAN I TOUCH IT CAN I TOUCH IT FOGGY CAN I TOUCH IT and foggy has to physically restrain matt from fondling his tattoo because its FRESH MATT

so foggys like 'ok, this is cause for celebration! babys first ink! we;re getting beers cmon' and they both go out to drink and matt's like 'hey foggy...can i touch more of your tattoos' and foggy's like 'uh, sure, i have another armfull,' and they do that for a while untill matt gets to the one foggy did the first time he visited foggy's tattoo parlor and foggy's like hah. remember this one? and matt's like yeah. i do. and they kinda just. sit there for a minute and then foggy's like 'ok. im gonna kiss you now punch me if you hate this, flowerboy' and matt absolutley does not punch him, thank you very much

and when they finish having their moment matt's like 'wow. i shoulda....i shoulda asked to feel you up again way sooner if i knew you were gonna do that' and foggy's like 'hey...i'd let you feel me up anytime' and they both kind of laugh and decide ok, worm, this works, and decide theyre gonna do that more often

they start to go out for drinks / dinner / lunch / any time they possibly can, and matt learns the curvature of foggys (suprisingly muscley?) arms down to a t, but he runs out of space to run his fingers over one night, and foggy kisses him and says 'hey. i've got more tattoos, y'know, but i don't think many people would appreciate it if i showed them off to you here' and matt is like 'wh-O H'

and foggy laughs and drags him to his apartment and pulls of his shirt and says 'ok, we're alone now. tell me what you feel' and matt sits on the bed in front of him and theres lots of sensual chest stroking going on and then yeah. matt gets fed up with all this touching foggy and not enough of foggy touching him and. they fuck oopsie

and after that they decide worm. that was good, wanna do that more often, holy shit, and decide to actually date date and thats like. thats that babey!

but years later they open a joint shop, an absolute mess of soft/punk aesthetics and everyone knows them because matt is still a soft florist who just has a fewwwww dozen flowers inked all over him and foggy is the punk god who flexes his sleeves all over town but flexes his soft boyfriend husband even more tHE END

[thesoundofmadness]

Memory Loss (Lloyd  Reader oneshot)

"LLOYD! WATCH OUT!" Y/n calls out as she jumps infront of him to take the time punch for him. She feels something like a intense shock and flys backward onto the hard concrete of the road. Her head hits the ground first, then her arm. "Y/N!" Everyone calls out. Lloyd runs over and picks her up. Tears fill his eyes. Her vison blurred. Everyone else just stood there, stunned and not knowing what to do. She starts to whisper into his ear. "Lloyd....please defeat the Time Twins. For Ninjago, for Master Wu, for your Dad, for me....please" She then looks the blonde boy in his eyes. He places his hand on her cheek and kisses her. It was a way for him to tell her he loved her before she fell unconscious. She realeses the kiss and hugs him again. "I love you....." She says quietly before she falls limp in his arms. Tears continued to fall as her hugged her tightly. "Y/n...no.....you're the most important person to me. More important than anyone else. Please....no! He sat there and cried into her shoulder fora few minutes. Everyone ran over. "Oh no...." "Y/n!" "First Zane, then Dad, then Master Wu and now Y/n. Why? Why? What did I do to deserve this?! Why?! It should have been me! Not Y/n! Why?!" He then wiped his tears away. "No. We have to stop the time twins. I have to stop them. " He handed the (h/c) (hair colored) girl over to Kai, drew his sword and pointed it at the time twins. All he could think about was Y/n. All he could feel was anger He ran towards the time twins. Aderinline was pulsing through his body. As he fought, flashbacks played infront of him like a movie. For about 3 minutes (pretty much as long as the song is) he fought the time twins. He then finally knocked them down to the ground, took the timeblades, used the reversal one on Y/n to get her to stop rapidly aging, then opening back the time portal and everyone went through it.

*timeskip*

Lloyd woke up in his room. He got up from the light green bed and stretched. It has been 5 months since Y/n got knocked unconscious and put in a coma. Those past few months hadn't been the best for anyone, more specficly Lloyd. He just felt like something was missing. He knew what was missing was Y/n. Ever since the accident with the time twins, his world just hasnt been as bright and colorful as it was when Y/n was there. It just didn't feel right at all. He then walked out of the room to the kitchen, made some cearal and ate it. There was this lingering feeling that this whole thing, was his fault. He felt this before. He first felt it when his dad died and then when he got possessed by Morro. This time it was different. This time it was stronger than before. When he feels like this, he distracts himself from the feeling untill it goes away but he just couldn't stop thinking about what happened to Y/n. It sucked thinking about it all the time and feeing like that but he just could not shake it.  He got up from his spot, washed out the bowl and put it by the sink. He then walked over to Y/ns room. He's been avoiding going in there since the accident. He took a deep breath, opened the door and walked in. He moved her legs and sat on the bed next to them. Y/n was asleep peacefully. It was adorable. It was like looking at a flower ready to bloom, even though this flower wasnt ready to bloom yet. He missed her smile, the way her hair smelled after a shower, how they would always stay up 'till like 3 am watching MLP on netflix (If you dont like MLPm screw you. MLP is awesome), them training together, everything. He hated not being able to do anything. He felt like he should have done something. He didn't know what but just something to let her know he was there. It wasn't right without her there. There was no one to tell him the most insteresting things at dinner, no one to joke around with, no one. When he does it with someone else it just doesnt feel right. He sighed. "It sure is weird without you here Y/n." He says. " I know you cant hear me and I dont except you to hear me, but I just need to get this out." He went on to explain some stuff about how much he misses her, how when she wakes up, he would tell her his feelings for her and that kind of things. Y/n stirred. Lloyd raised an eyebrow. Must be because she's been stiff for the past 5 months. He thought. She stirred again and slowly opened her eyes. "Y/N?!" Lloyd tried not to yell but accidently yelled. She grabbed her head. "Agh. Please d-dont be so loud. My head hurts really bad." "Uh.. s-s-sorry! I was j-just surpised thats all." He says with a chuckle. "Its okay. Um..forgive me for asking but who are you and who is Y/n?" He was shocked at first but them remember she got a pretty bad concussion so got over it quickly. Shit what do I say?!  "You look and sound familer but I just cant put my finger on it." He started playing with his fingers. "Uh...you are Y/n and i'm Lloyd. We were uh...." I could tell her that she was my GF and save having to explain my feelings to her. Nah that wouldn't be right. "We were what?" She asks. Her beautiful (e/c) (eye color) eyes were looking at him with confusion. "We were uh friends. Yeah! Friends before you lost your memory." "Ohhh. That explains some stuff. Alright Lloyd. You seem trustworthy and I feel like I should trust you so I'll believe you. Now where are we?" "Uh we are in your room in the Airjeztu Temple. Come on,lets go to the living room so I can explain some stuff that you need to know. Let me help you up." He says with a smile. She smiles back. She swung her legs over the bed and tried to stand. She just fell back onto the (f/c) (favorite color) bed. Lloyd put his arm on her lower back and pushed her up. She leaned onto Lloyd for support. "Try to take it easy okay? I dont want you getting hurt again." "How long was I out?" "5 months" Her eyes widened when she heard that. "5 months?! Must of been a pretty bad accident" "Y-yeah it was. Just be glad you didnt die. If you did I wouldn't know what to do." "What do you mean by that?" He blushed. "N-nothing! L-let's go to the living room. She gave him a 'are you sure about that?' look but then brushed it off. They just met, or re-met, she didn't want to get to deep into his bissnus.

"So you're telling me, we are ninja. We have these 'elemental powers' that allow us to do certain things. You're the Master of Energy and I'm the Master of (element)?" "Yep. We go around protecting Ninjago from bad guys. We're actually pretty good at it." "And we defeated alot of people using them?" "Yea." "Apart of me is telling me not to believe you, while another is telling me you're saying the truth. Are you really telling the truth?" Lloyd made a little energy in his hand.  "Woah. You arnt lying." "I'm not one to lie. How is your head?" "It still hurts but not as much as it did at first" Y/n took a sip of her tea. "Are there any other elemental masters on our team? Or in general?" "Yeah! Theres Kai Master of Fire, Jay Master of Lighting, Cole Master of Earth, Zane Master of Ice and Nya Master of Water. There's also our sensei, Master Wu and my mom Misako but they arnt elemental masters." "Oh. Okay. Where are they?" "Well, you see. We help run a tea shop in Ninjago City. They are there now. I stayed back because there needed to be someone here to make sure something doesnt happen to you." "Do they know i'm awake?" "No, not yet. I still need to tell them." "Why dont you do it right now? I dont mind." "Well, i kinda wanna make it a surpise. I have not idea why I just do." "Okay! I'm okay with that!" She smiled at him and he smiled back. You have no idea how much I missed your smile (n/n) (nickname). Lloyd sighed. "Is something wrong Lloyd?" He shook his head. "It's nothing." "Are you missing the way I was before the accident you wont tell me about?" He looked at her with a shocked expersion. "H-how did you know that?!" "You just seemed like you were missing something. I know that look on your face, I just dont know how I know." He looked at her with a smile. "You'll figure it out. And yes, I'm missing you before the accident but I'll through it. Dont worry. I'll do everything I can to help you get your memory back alright?" She nodded. He pat her head as he heard voices outside. She blushed alittle. "Lloyd! We're home!" Cole called out. Y/n raised her eyebrow (if you cant just pretend you can) "Guys guess what!" "Did Y/n- HOLY CHRIST SHE DID WAKE UP" "Hi!" She waved to everyone. They all had there mouths open. "Why didnt you tell us?!" "I wanted it to be a surpise." "Okay okay, before anything. Y/n do you know who we are?" Kai asked. "Uh...you look familer but I dont think I know you. You guys are the rest of the Ninja right? Lloyd told me about you guys but I wanna make sure" They all nodded simultaneously. After re-introducing themselves, Zane did a check to make sure nothing was wrong/ broken. At dinner, the ninja caught you up to everything that happened. The snakes, the nindroids, the ghosts all that stuuf. (Except Nadakan. Only Jay can remember. He doesnt like talking about it.) They also explained how you lost your memory. "Wait what? We went back in time, I got hit with one of the 'timeblades' and got knocked out?" "Yeah pretty much." "While you flew back, you hit your arm and your head pretty badly. Your arm is fine now but your head, not so much. You got a concussion. That's why you lost your memory Y/n." "Ohhhhh okay. I understand now. Anything else I should know?" "Lloyd has a crush on you." "I DO NOT." Lloyd yelled after Kai said that. "Why'd ya kiss her right before she passed out then?" She blushed. Hard. So did Lloyd. Both of your faces where redder than Kai's gi. "Hahahhahaha. I'm just kidding. Lloyd never did that." For some reason, she felt like they were lying but just shrugged. "Uhhh......" "WELL IMMA GO TO BED NOW GOODNIGHT" Lloyd quickly got up, cleaned off his plate and left, still with the blush on his face. "Did he really kiss me?" "Yep. Dont tell him I told you that though." "Okay. I wont. Well, im gonna head off to bed too. Night Kai" "Night Y/n"

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Im gonna be posting alot of these. Hope you enjoy them!!!  

[leatherwhiskeycoffeeplaid]

That’s Not Fine

Pairing: Dean x Reader; Charlie Bradbury, and ofc Seraphina

Word Count: 3228

Warnings: Symptoms of Bipolar 2 disorder, depression, hypomania, suicidal thoughts, suicidal ideation, negative self image and thoughts. If any of this is triggering or possibly triggering Please Do Not Read!!!!

Author’s Note: Written for the Mental Health Awareness Challenge hosted by @letsgetoutalive. This is an AU where Dean is not a hunter but he is the reader’s husband. The reader has Bipolar 2 disorder and she is me. This story is based on true events that happened over the summer between myself and several others. They know who they are and I hope this gives them a little peak at what was going on in my head at the time. I can never apologize enough and to some I can’t apologize at all for the things I did while having an episode, and its completely inexcusable. Things are different now and if you feel like things are getting out of control or those around you keep saying, get help, please seek treatment. No one deserves to deal with a disorder like this without help. It’s awful for everyone involved. My birthday gift to myself today is truth, to lay myself out for you all to see. My name is Sundae, I’m bipolar, and this is my story. Italics are inner thoughts, Bold italics are IM messages.

There it was again, that thought, the nagging, constient voice whispering in your ear. ‘They hate you. You pissed them off. They just put up with you and your crap because they feel bad for you. You have to make it up to them, fix it. Fix it. Fix it!’ That little voice was back and it was getting louder and louder everyday.

“Hey babe, you okay?” you husband Dean sat down next to you on the bed, wonder in his beautiful green eyes.

You looked up from your laptop screen, putting a fake half smile on your face as you nodded. “Yep, all good. Was just messaging Charlie back.”

“Oh, tell her I said hi and I’m gonna get dinner going. Thought I’d let you know since I know you are trying to write in here.”

“Yeah, not much writing going on today but alright. Let me know when it’s ready. Love you.”

Dean leaned closer, “Love you too.” his pink plush lips brush over yours before he jumps up and walks out of the room.

Your eyes went back to your screen, the message to Charlie still sitting unsent in the IM window. ‘It’s just I feel like I’m bothering you all the time and I don’t want to do that. I never want to do that to you because I love you. You are one of my best friends and if I’m too much to handle you are welcome to drop me out of your life.’ You reread that message three times before letting your fingers fly over the keys again. ‘I completely understand and I encourage you to distance yourself from me. It would be a lot better if you did.’ Sent.

There it was finally, in black and white, and you hoped when Charlie read the message she would see it was for the best for her to walk away from her friendship with you. You’d always told her that you were trouble. That being friends meant that she would be dealing with a crazy person and she had laughed it off thinking it was just a joke. It wasn’t and now you waited for when she’d read the message and get back to you.

Clicking over into another tab sat the unfinished story you had been working on. A challenge a friend had given you that when you said you’d do it had inspired so many things. A rockstar falling in love and getting addicted to heroin, using with her bass player/boyfriend, the highs and lows of stardom making them chase that high higher and higher until they couldn’t chase it anymore. You’d planned it out, knew what was going to happen, but here you sat staring at just the first few paragraphs, all energy to write it gone.

“Come on Y/N, you can write this.” you whispered to yourself. You’d been writing for years, the last year of which had been your most productive, writing and releasing stories onto your blog multiple times a week. Most of your nights spent wide awake, fingers flying over the keys to bring to life new pieces of storytelling and filth for the masses to read along with you. You knew you could do this, you’d finished every single challenge you’d been given so far, and you were not about to let this one be a failure.

Rereading what you’d written though sparked no inspiration and when you clicked back into the tab for Tumblr you saw a message from Charlie.

‘I’m not going to do that and you aren’t bothering me. I don’t understand why you feel like that but we’ve been over this again and again. Please, Y/N, let this go and move on.’

She was mad at you. Clearly she was mad and you felt tears starting to burn behind your eyes. You’d done it again, made a friend mad when you were just trying to fix it. ‘I’m sorry. It’s just how I was feeling is all.’

‘You have no reason to feel that way.’

Charlie’s response didn’t make sense to you and you reread it half a dozen times before replying again. You did have reason to feel that way because she’d been distant and you knew you’d been bothering her because she’d told you earlier in the week she’d been busy with work. You needed to make her see that you were no good for her and you were a cancer in her life that needed to be eliminated.

‘But I do and I’m just sorry.’

There was no reply after that and you knew your friendship was over. Fat, hot tears ran down your cheeks as you sat in bed waiting for a reply that never came. Dean hollered from the kitchen that dinner was ready and you wiped at your face till you were sure he couldn’t tell you’d been crying.

The smell of steak filling your senses as you wandered slowly into the kitchen. “Smells great babe.”

Dean turned around, a smile gracing his gorgeous face. “Thanks, did you need more time to write after dinner?” He asked as he started to portion out the plates.

“No, wasn’t getting much done anyway.” You were a failure and all you could do was stuff your face and hope Dean didn’t decide this was when he wanted to walk away from a fat ass like you.

Together you ate while he talked about different parts of his day at the shop he co-owned with his dad and you tried to pay attention as you kept rerunning the chat you’d had with Charlie. There had to be a way to fix it, you’d messed it up so badly.

Dean continued to talk until you had finished dinner, not once did he ask how your day had been, and as you walked to the bedroom together to watch tv your heart sank. ‘He doesn’t even care how your day was. He knows it was boring. He probably hates you like Charlie does and like Ellen does, and Jo.’  You knew everyone hated you and you deserved for them to hate you.

The next couple hours were spent watching a movie on Netflix and when Dean fell asleep without kissing you goodnight you’d turned off the tv as well as your bedside lamp, and turned away from him. You reached for your phone, the Tumblr app opening, and showing a new message from someone and you were filled with dread at who it might be.

‘Please, Y/N, let it go. I can’t keep telling you that everything is fine between us. You are my friend and I love you but you need help. Something is wrong and I can’t help you.’

Charlie’s words cut like a knife through your heart and you let silent sobs wrack your body. Something was wrong, very wrong, and every time you saw a doctor they always told you the same thing. It’s just a little depression and a few months with medication should make you feel better. And the doctor was right, it did, for awhile.

That’s when you would feel normal, you’d finally sleep and eat like everyone else, you’d spend time with Dean doing things you loved and your brain didn’t feel like it was running a marathon. The meds worked, they did but then everything would start to slip. You’d take your meds but then you’d start feeling that urge to stay awake. To write one more story, ideas flying out of your head so fast you could hardly keep up. The phrases, “did you sleep? When did you come to bed? Have you eaten today?” all became regular parts of your husband’s vocabulary.

You’d shrug him off, you were fine, and super productive. You had stories ready for when you had writers block and your follower count was up since you’d been posting so much new content. Things were fine, he just couldn’t see it. You didn’t need to sleep to be amazing or put out amazing content, this was how you were and you loved it.

But you knew, every single time, and you dreaded what you knew was coming. What you were going through right now, this low, the darkness slowly closing in around you. Every thought in your head telling you that you were a bad person and deserved to be told so by everyone. You didn’t deserve to be happy, you deserved to feel this way, and to watch your friends walk away from a crazy person like you.

You clicked over to your dash, scrolling through posts and finding nothing to occupy your mind. All that kept going around and around in your head was Charlie’s words, your brain highlighting certain parts and leaving others behind. ‘Y/N, let it go. I can’t keep telling you that everything is fine. You need help and I can’t help you.’ Over and over again your brain kept repeating it until finally you couldn’t hold it in anymore.

Instead of bothering anyone you opened a text post, sticking a little asterisk in where you’d put your usual text and start venting in the tags.

Writing all that out did nothing to make you feel better and you continued to cry until you fell asleep. When you awoke the next morning, Dean was already gone, and you grabbed your phone to check for notifications and messages. A text from Dean told you he loved you and he’d be late getting home. Paperwork for the expansion was finally in and he’d need to work on it with his dad after hours.

Next was Tumblr and as usual you didn’t have any messages. The notifications were from people reblogging mostly your reblogs and a few likes on an old story back when you were actually able to write. With nothing worth looking at there any longer, you opened your dash and started scrolling. Just a few posts down was one by Charlie and she was obviously not happy.

Charlie’s post ate at you, reading it and the tags over and over again. You knew it had been wrong to put her in the tags, knew that online etiquette says don’t out anyone or say anything except positive things about others but you had to get it out. Your brain wouldn’t stop, the voice repeating itself over and over again until you posted it.

You pushed the reblog button, your fingers poised over the keys trying to think of what to say but all you could think was that she was right. You were sick and manipulating people into feeling bad for you. There was no reason for anyone to feel sorry for you because you were acting like a child, boohooing on the internet when you should just keep it to yourself.

Closing the reblog you starting planning instead. The world didn’t need you in it, messing everything up for everyone. Bothering them with your nonsense and dragging them down when they were all so happy. Dean would be home late and you knew that would give you the time that you needed to do this right.

Walking into your bathroom you took stock of what you had on hand in the cabinet. Muscle relaxers from when Dean hurt his back a few weeks before, the sleeping pills your doctor gave you for when you told him you had trouble sleeping, and your Prozac that was half full of capsules. You weren’t sure if it would be enough but you figured if you ground everything down they might at least work faster. Dean would probably get home too late to help you and it would all just end.

With a plan forming in your mind you heard a ding from your phone of a message. Opening it you saw it was from Seraphine, a friend you had made online and you sighed wondering what she wanted.

‘Hey sweetie just wanted to check in on you. I saw your post from last night and if you need to talk I’m here for you.’

‘Hey Sera I’m fine just having a moment. Don’t worry about me. I’m good.’

‘You sure?”

You chewed at your lip knowing you were lying but not wanting to worry your friend at all. ‘Yeah I’m fine. Everythings fine.’

‘Doesn’t seem fine. How are things with Dean?”

‘Dean’s good. Working late tonight which is good for me. Lets me get done what I need to do.’

There was a pause between messages and you sat on your bed waiting for her to reply so you could say goodbye and get the mortar and pestle from your kitchen to start getting your pills ready.

‘What is it that you need to do?’

You were getting aggravated, you needed to go so you could do this. You needed to end this conversation and end your sad pathetic existence.

‘Nothing you need to worry about. Just something that needs to be done. I’ve got to go. Bye sweetie.’

‘Wait! Don’t go, Y/N. Please, whatever it is you need to do I want you to know you don’t have to. What time is Dean coming home?’

You looked up at the clock and realized the day had slipped away from you. Hours of time just bleeding into one another without you even noticing, the sky outside your bedroom window already showing an orange and pink glow of the sunset.

‘I don’t know. All his text said was late. It will be fine. I gotta go, Sera.’

‘You don’t have to go. Stay and talk to me, Y/N. I’m worried about you.’

You scoffed to yourself and punched in your reply. ‘You don’t have to be worried about me. Nothing to worry about. I need to go, Seraphine. It will all be better once I do.’

‘No, it won’t. Please, don’t go yet ,Y/N.Call Dean and tell him you need him to come home. You shouldn’t be alone right now.’

You shook your head, tears burning and falling quickly down your face. ‘I’m not going to bother him and I’m fine.’

‘You aren’t fine and you need to call him. If you won’t I will. Please, Y/N.’

Your phone slipped from your hand and onto your bed where you left it to swipe at the tears coursing down your face. You were so pathetic, crying like this. You needed to stop and just do what needed to be done. Leaving your phone where it landed you stood up and rounded the side of your bed just as you heard the front door open, Dean rushing in while calling your name.

“Y/N! Hey babe, Charlie called me and said that you needed me to come home right away. Sweetheart, what’s going on?” The love and concern poured off of Dean in waves and you were overcome with despair, shame, and fear. A great heart wrenching sob leaving your body as you launched yourself into his chest, his arms wrapping around you as your body convulsed with cries.

“Whoa sweetheart, what’s going on? Come on, kid. Talk to me.” Dean held you tight to him and you just cried, not a single word could be released with how hard you were sobbing. He moved the two of you till he could sit on the end of the bed, pulling you sideways into his lap, rubbing his hand in circles over your back and telling you how much he loved you. “Talk to me, Y/N. Please tell me what happened?”

Through your tears your drew in a few deep breaths, you lips quivering as you shakingly responded. “I’m scared. I’m so scared and I-I don’t know what to do.” More sobs erupted at your confession and Dean squeezed you in reassurance.

“Charlie said you were planning to kill yourself. Where you? Please tell me she was wrong about that. I can’t lose you. Not like that.” Dean’s voice broke as he spoke, his own grief over his wife being in so much pain spilling ovel.

“I’m so scared because I want to Dean, so bad. I want everything to just stop. Make it stop, Dean. Make it stop.”

Dean pressed his lips to your head before moving his hand to your cheek and bringing your face up to look at him. “Tell me what to do to make it stop and I will. Tell me what you need and I’ll do it. Right here, right now.”

You shook your head, tears streaming down your face as you confessed, “I don’t know.”

“It’s okay. I’ll figure it out. Maybe we should call your doctor and tell him what’s going on. He should be able to help.” Dean reached for your phone knowing the number to your doctor was inside along with the emergency contact number for moments like this.

“No, Dean. Please, don’t call him. Not right now. I can’t. Please, just hold me. I need you to hold me and make it stop.” you turned yourself in his arms till you could wrap yourself completely around him, sobbing into his shoulder and releasing all the hurt you’d let consume you the last couple of weeks.

He held you to him, reminding you that he was there, and he wasn’t going to leave you. When you finally started to calm he leaned back and looked into your reddened eyes. “Sweetheart, we need to get you help. I love you but you need to talk to your doctor.”

You shook your head in protest. “No, I’ll be fine, Dean. Really it’s fine.”

“Y/N, that’s not fine. The phone call from Charlie telling me my wife was making posts online, talking to people about needing to go do something and everything would be better after. That’s not fine. You are not fine but you can fight this. We can fight this. Please babe, let me help you fight this. Let me call your doctor.” Dean’s olive orbs pleaded with you and you leaned around him to grab your phone.

“Help me?” A shuddered breath fell from your lips and Dean kissed your forehead before nodding.

He scrolled through your contacts and made the call to get you help.

12 weeks later

Bipolar 2, finally your doctor had listened and you had the right diagnoses. It was scary, the scariest thing a doctor had probably ever said to you and Dean stood by you the entire time. Not once thinking to walk away from you or to let you stop fighting. The medication you were on was changed and with it your activities at home. The amount of time you spent online went down considerably and you’d managed to apologize for your behavior towards Charlie at the time.

You’d told Seraphine thank you, having connected the dots that she had been the one to contact Charlie, who in turn called Dean. Together they had all saved you from yourself and now you were on the road to being a healthy version of yourself. No amount of thank yous were enough but you tried at least once a day, to return some of their kindness back into the world. Because being sick isn’t an excuse but it is a reality and with these people on your side as well as proper medical treatment, your reality was looking a whole lot better.

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