#gooey digestion

[vornyfernz]

Prey who are unsure at first, but who melt into you willingly are the best~

[gastrophilia]

Unusual (for this blog) safe vore scenario

Indigestible/otherwise safe slime prey that arent always oozing and dripping. No - they may lack bones, but as they're being eaten, they're as solid as any regular person.

However, as time goes on inside that stuffy, wet stomach, they begin to let go of their solid state, pretending to be digested bit by bit by turning into pure sludge

At the end, they're entirely liquid, and fill up the entire organ with their body. The pred feels so calm, heavy and full - it's easier for their stomach to churn around liquid prey than solid ones, of course. It feels like they drank enough thick soup or porridge to fill every crevice of their gut.

In the end the prey will be regurgitated and return to their regular state, sure. But for now, oh, they're both just so blissed out... What's the point if you don't take a cozy, satiated, comfortable nap, hm 💕?

[objektyart]

erm what the goop

[fullcravings]

S'mores Skillet

[charlemane]

ate a grilled cheese in public with such wild abandon that strangers were staring at me with not only bafflement but genuine concern

[six-owls]

For those who don’t know what a s’more is, it’s a snack that’s traditionally made and eaten during the summer for children on camping trips.

It’s made by sticking a jumbo sized marshmallow on a stick, then roasting it over an open fire to caramelized the outside and get it gooey in the center (there’s been a decades-long debate about how long you should roast your marshmallow to get the perfect s’more, and personally I’m on team “light the whole thing on fire”)

then, it’s sandwiched between peices of chocolate and a type of semi-sweet honey cinnamon flavored cracker called a graham cracker, so that the chocolate melts and it all becomes one cohesive snack

The entire point of the s’more is that it’s a gooey, decadent, so-sweet-it’s-almost-gross sludge, basically the exact opposite of what Paul Hollywood here is trying to say about s’mores. It’s considered an absolute sin to try to make s’mores without an open, wood-burning fire, as the woodsmoke flavor is a key part of the taste of a proper s’more, and making the “sandwich” part out of anything other than a proper graham cracker is out of the question

The taste and texture of those abominations would be Nothing like a proper s’more, and this is a truly sad representation of what I believe should be americas national dish

GBBO: “A s’more is basically just an Italian merengue sandwiched between two ganache-covered digestives”

Americans:

[bodybaggage]

Monthly Phantom Check Up

Frostbite, Danny’s overly enthusiastic yeti doctor, shows up at the Watchtower for a surprise check-up, and things get awkward fast.

———

The Watchtower was in chaos. It wasn’t a typical day of chaos—no alien invasions or time-traveling villains—but something far more uncomfortable. Frostbite, Danny Phantom’s towering Yeti doctor and self-proclaimed “Master of Ghost Medicine,” had arrived unannounced. His massive, fur-covered frame loomed in the main meeting room as he carefully unpacked a series of glowing, intimidating medical instruments.

Superman leaned over to Wonder Woman, voice low. “Is this... normal?”

Wonder Woman’s brow furrowed in thought. “I don’t think this falls under the usual protocol for supernatural beings.”

Across the room, Danny Phantom stood in all his half-dead glory—or rather, slouched in defeat, wearing a hoodie that seemed far too large for his ghostly frame. He was clearly trying to shrink away from the entire situation, one pale hand covering his face in mortification.

“Frostbite,” Danny hissed in a hushed whisper, “you couldn’t have waited until we got back to the Ghost Zone?”

Frostbite beamed, oblivious to Danny’s pleading. “Nonsense, Great One! Your health is of utmost importance, and I detected a slight imbalance in your ectoplasmic core. It must be addressed immediately!”

Batman stood against the wall, eyes narrowing as he watched the scene unfold. “Ectoplasmic core?”

Frostbite nodded solemnly as he began to prepare an absurdly long, glowing probe. “Indeed, Batman. The Great One is half-ghost, and thus, his core requires regular maintenance. There are many nuances to his biology that need tending to.”

Danny groaned. “Oh, Ancients, kill me now…”

The Justice League—gathered for what they thought was going to be a strategy meeting—could only look on in awkward silence. Aquaman coughed and pretended to adjust his trident. Green Lantern pulled up a holographic projection of the solar system, which he stared at intensely despite not needing to. Flash, of course, was barely containing his laughter, lips twitching every time Frostbite said something ridiculous.

“Now,” Frostbite continued, holding up a glowing vial of something green and gooey, “the first concern is the ectoplasm imbalance. Too much exposure to the Ghost Zone can cause buildup, which leads to... ah, let’s say, irregularities.”

Superman cleared his throat. “Irregularities?”

Frostbite nodded gravely. “Yes. In the human digestive system, it might be compared to... indigestion. But in ghosts, it manifests as random phasing, ectoplasmic leakage, and occasional transformation into a much more terrifying version of oneself.”

Superman blinked. “That sounds... worse than indigestion.”

“Oh, much worse!” Frostbite said brightly, not catching the sarcasm. “Especially during ghost puberty. It’s when the ghost’s core is developing at its most volatile stage.”

Danny’s entire face turned bright red. “Frostbite! Seriously?!”

“Ghost... puberty?” Batman echoed, voice laced with what could only be described as grim fascination.

“Indeed!” Frostbite said, now fully in doctor mode. “The Great One is well past that stage, but it’s important to note that ghost puberty can last several decades for some. Phantom’s transformations would have been wildly unpredictable for years, often triggered by emotional stress or large quantities of fast food.”

Flash actually lost it at that, letting out a snort and quickly covering his mouth. “Sorry, sorry! Just—did you say fast food?”

Danny rubbed his temples. “Yes. I went through my ‘ghost puberty’ eating burgers and stressing about math tests. Can we move on?”

Frostbite chuckled warmly. “Ah, yes. The human world does have its unique challenges for the Great One. Now, the next matter—”

“There’s more?” Danny wailed, half considering flying straight through the floor and never coming back.

“Oh, yes!” Frostbite said with far too much enthusiasm. He turned to the League. “His dual nature also means his ghost half sometimes conflicts with his human immune system. It’s a fascinating process! For example, Danny can phase through objects, but if he catches a human cold, it throws his phasing abilities off and he might accidentally phase into a wall and get stuck.”

The room went silent.

Batman stared at Danny. “You’ve... phased into a wall?”

Danny gritted his teeth, wishing for the sweet release of invisibility. “I was twelve, okay? And yes, I got stuck. It was fine.”

“Mostly fine,” Frostbite corrected, waving around a spectral thermometer. “There was that one time we had to extract you from a particularly thick brick wall in Amity Park. Took several hours.”

Wonder Woman, who had remained silent up until this point, exchanged a concerned glance with Superman. “Is this something we should... prepare for?”

Danny shot them both an exasperated look. “No. I’m not going to phase into the Watchtower’s walls. Probably.”

“Unless his ectoplasmic levels are low,” Frostbite added cheerfully. “Which is why this check-up is vital!”

As Frostbite pulled out what looked suspiciously like a ghost-themed blood pressure cuff, Danny gave up. “I’m going to die—again.”

Flash wiped away a tear of laughter, his shoulders still shaking. “This is the best day of my life. I didn’t know ghost puberty was a thing.”

“I’ll send you my research papers,” Frostbite said kindly. “There’s a great deal of fascinating biology involved!”

Danny, ignoring everyone, shot a glare at Batman, who was watching all this with far too much interest. “Don’t even think about adding this to my file.”

Batman didn’t respond, though his fingers twitched ever so slightly toward his utility belt.

Frostbite, oblivious to the ongoing awkwardness, finished prepping his tools. “Now, Great One, if you could just sit still. This next part involves extracting ectoplasmic residue from your pores—”

“I’m phasing through the floor,” Danny muttered, promptly sinking halfway through the Watchtower’s pristine floor, only his head remaining visible. “See you guys never.”

The Justice League stood in stunned silence as Frostbite packed away his tools with a serene smile.

“Very well,” Frostbite said. “I’ll schedule the next check-up for next month. Goodbye, Justice League!”

And with that, the massive Yeti doctor vanished through a portal, leaving the League standing there, trying to make sense of what they had just witnessed.

Superman finally turned to Danny, whose head was still poking out of the floor.

“Danny... you okay?”

Danny didn’t respond, choosing instead to fully disappear beneath the floor.

Flash wheezed. “I love that kid.”

[rhymeswithchronic]

Okay listen so we’ve all heard about how ParkCiv is a really good analogy for late stage capitalism that has been simplified into an easy to understand in an easily digestible format for younger audiences to learn and understand, but CAN WE TALK ABOUT THE INTENSE MORAL QUESTION THAT PVPCIV PRESENTS?

What is the value of a human life? Is the suffering of one person acceptable if it means a life of peace for the rest of the world?

Evbo originally tried to get out of his first 1v1 by claiming that he has a wife and kids, which implies these family units DO exist in some way.

While the people we see that are eager for “The Chosen One” to appear so they can gain everlasting life are all fighters, not everyone who lives in this world is on their own. There are likely mothers, fathers, children, natural leaders, amazing people that are clinging onto life by only a few swings of the sword. It’s not just violent fighters, it’s likely normal people trying to simply get by day to day life.

Is it selfish of them to want to be there for their families, friends, etc.? To fear death? Is it selfish of Evbo to try to escape his fate of being essentially a pig for the slaughter forever?

Is world peace worth the suffering of a single person?

If one person has to suffer for an eternity to bring peace to his civilization, someone with no friends, no family, no ties to the world, is that okay?

Is it okay to torture someone in any circumstance?

I don’t have any clue whether this kind of thought was intentional, but this is SUCH a vivid and interesting moral dilemma. It’s the trolly problem made physical. Of course everyone wants to say that it’s never okay to facilitate the suffering of another individual, but in a world where your continued death spreads life and allows families and friends to remain together for the entire natural lives, would you even be able to continue saying that? Or would you be willing to accept that this is the price, and an innocent person has to pay it.

Would you partake? Observe? Fight back?

It’s SO FASCINATING and I am IN LOVE

And it’s once again presented in such a simple and easily understandable format that it is available for everyone to consider.

GOD my brain has melted into a gooey puddle on the floor please send help

[lesbianoms]

It would be an absolute dream if whenever I was struggling with my mental health, a big pred lady just flopped her belly onto the table in front of me and told me to get into the “therapy tank” while gingerly patting it

Cue the warm, slow, gooey digestion that could factory reset my emotional state into a better one~ ☺️

[randomrabbidramblings]

Phantom anatomy

General

Bit of a parenthesis on Boos first as Phantom is by all means half Boo. Boos are ghostly creatures with a bit of a mystery on their origin. It's not known if they are dead creatures who came back as a ghost or a species of creatures on their own. What is known is their anatomy. Or lack of, as they are exclusively composed by ectoplasm, a gooey substance that can be made transparent and intangible at will by the Boo. With this, Boos can phase through objects, become invisible or pretend to be a small item by keeping said item inside their bodies and making their ectoplasm invisible. Boos don't need to eat, sleep or breathe. They are very basic ghostly creatures.

Phantom isn't a dead Rabbid came back as a ghost. Since he was created via merging with a Boo Balloon, he's as much of a ghost as a Boo is a dead creature, so he's in a bit of a grey zone. Even the ectoplasm he's made of is the same that composes Boos' bodies. He usually keeps his upper body completely visible and tangible, while leaving his belly transparent, but he's capable of turning either entirely tangible or entirely transparent (he just doesn't turn invisible a lot because he likes having attention).

Biology

Phantom doesn't have internal organs: instead the ectoplasm he's composed of acts as some of a living's being internal organs, although only for basic functions: food will be digested and dissolved into the mass (only stuff that is eaten will be digested, not things placed in his belly), his breath is given by the ectoplasm forming a bubble of air in his torso (even if he doesn't have to breathe, but it's used for singing) and a "heartbeat" is needed to keep the ectoplasm in movement and functioning. External organs (ears, eyes, nose, etc.) work like a normal Rabbid's ones. Due to Rabbids' reproductive organs being half internal ad half external in all sexes, Phantom is sterile as testicles are internal (hormones are produced in the ectoplasm).

He can survive without eating or resting as he takes energy from the attention he recieves, but he can't go forever without sustenance. He will get weak if he doesn't eat or rest like any other Rabbid, but as long as he has energy from his public, he can go on for a very long time. He will eat and sleep like a normal Rabbid to always look his best.

The Belly

Phantom's belly acts like a cetacean's melon. Cetaceans use sounds as echolocation, producing sounds from inside the blowhole, focusing it in a uniform sound wave (thanks to the fat in the melon and their skull shape) that travels in the water and then recieving the sound through their jaw bones. Phantom, insead of using the sound as echolocation (as he doesn't have the means to recieve the soundwaves back and process them), he only channels them into a focused blast to attack. The sound blasts he uses in battle are produced by the grammophone, the sound then bounces off the instrument's horn and travels through the belly's fatty ectoplasm, focusing it in a powerful blast that can be very harmful in close proximity. When firing the blast, Phantom alignes it's trajectory with his mouth, making it look like he's singing it, rather than firing it from his midsection. His actual voice is not that powerful to generate such a sound (still it's not advised to have him yell in your ear, he's still an opera singer, lol).

When it's transparent, his belly is not entirely tangible and things can pass through it with little resistance. If you were to put your hand in it, you would only feel a slight resistance of the cold, gooey ectoplasm. The grammophone (or any small object or being placed inside) floats in the ectoplasm and cannot fall out unless manually taken out. Objects can be inserted or extracted from Phantom's belly only when in the transparent state. Hovever they can only be carefully placed in, they can't be tossed in as they will just go through him. Heavier items tend to float lower than lighter ones and can encumber Phantom's movements if too many heavy things are inside him. Everything inside the ectoplasm becomes "intangible" (as Phantom can phase through things without having them fall out, but they can be affected by outside effects, such as hits that will make them move accordingly) and can be made turn invisible (all at once).

The ectoplasm is sensitive to light, so when flashed with a strong light source, it automatically turns invisible. When Phantom is under the spotlights for so long, he gets accustomed to being invisible by default and the sensitivity of the ectoplasm rises, so when he suddenly doesn't have the spoitlight on, his belly automatically turns tangible. He will regain the ability to return invisible at will after some time.

When the belly is visible, it's tangible and acts as completely solid with fur and all, bar the tail that stays intangible and cold. In this state, at the touch it feels the same temperature of the rest of Phantom's body.

The Grammophone

The grammophome is a very dear object to Phantom as it functions as a second set of vocal cords. It amplifies his voice and can also play the music of the disc inserted into it. Music discs can be changed as a normal grammophone and this only affects the music, never Phantom's voice. It can be removed from his body, but Phantom rarely does so after the accident at the Galactovision Song Contest. In that occasion the instrument broke due to stress (and Bea's scratch) and Phantom had to replace it with a new one as well as getting tons of continuous practice to "tune" it to his voice. His "actual" voice got damaged too, but that can be healed like in a regular non-ghostly Rabbid. If he happens to lose his voice now that he has the grammophone back, he will use it to "voice" himself.

Other abilities

When manifasting legs, his belly reconfigures to have legs, so he has to shrink in size due to some of the ectoplasm being used to form the limbs. In this form he still can float and phase through walls as well as turn invisible. He isn't very skilled at walking as he often fails to look where he puts his feet, being so used to not having to, but tripping once in a while is worth it when he can show off fancy pants and shoes.

Phantom can emit a bluish smoke from his body. This is usually seen when he turns invisible/teleports to make for a more dramatic appearence/exit. He can also kind of manipulate it, usually by puffing it out of his mouth to create effects.

[objektyart]

get souped idiot

[monakisu]

p5 mementos thoughts

i know it's meant to be an adaptation of jung's collective unconscious shenanigans but i think it'd be SO Cool to imagine mementos as some sort of living creature...

it's an amalgamation meshed with tokyo's urban metropolis environment so you'd notice the familiar stuff first, like train tracks and stations, but staying long enough in mementos reveals that it's still very much alive. you're exploring its innards! the walls are fleshy and veiny and pulsate verrryyy slowly to the rhythm of breathing or heartbeats, the wandering shadows can be thought of as bacteria or protein, and the reaper's obviously the immune system kicking in with its very determined white blood cell gunning to eliminate you the virus!!

and i like to think that metaverse costumes not only serve Stamina and Style (the two essentials) but also sorta trick mementos into thinking you "belong" in its body—at the very least, you're not food anymore! like, if the world's luckiest unluckiest human managed to noclip into mementos and somehow avoided evisceration via shadows, imagine if the floors and walls have been secreting a subtle acid and by the time this human notices their sneakers corroding away and how moist and raw their palms have gotten, they finally realize that they've been caught in the process of digestion! but of course metaverse users are safe and sound from turning into a goopy gooey mess :]

i especially enjoy likening mementos to the tunnel in Coraline that connects the real world with the other world + the Mystery Flesh Pit National Park in Texas :D both are creatures so massive that they breach eldritch proportions, and you the human are sooo itty bitty you've basically only been wandering in a single blood vessel out of an entire circulation system! or something like that!!

[sol-consort]

I love cooking, it's the only thing I've been naturally good at so far, and gastronomy is so fascinating to me. What are your headcanons on alien cuisine

do you love cooking because you're good at it, or are you good at it because you love cooking?

Asari

Element Zero infused food, 100% inedible and deadly to humans.

-

Turians

Dextro based food, 100% inedible and deadly to humans.

-

Quarians

Dextro based food, 100% inedible and deadly to humans.

-

Hanar

90% meats, raw. Consuming something cooked is very bad for them, especially the oils or too many human seasonings, could seriously hurt their digestive tracks. Fun Fact! Hanar are one of the few species that can safely participate in cannibalism with zero health repercussions—they don't, but they could. Just a food for thought :) Some asari scientists theorise it was part of hanar culture to consume their dead as a part of a religious ceremony back in their early stages of civilisation, but the hanar have yet to deny nor confirm that. Where was I? Oh yeah, human safety... 85% inedible. With a predator as deadly as they are, you really don't want to see the type of eldritch horror straight-outta-Dredge their prey fish were forced to mutate into just to survive. But as a result, the hanar can safely consume 100% of the Earth's aquatic life! Yes, even those freaky fish, at that point poison is the hanar's equivalent of spice.

-

Krogans

Mostly consists of meats, Pyjack and Varren, and bones (their shells require tons of calcium to maintain) 70% inedible only because the human digestive system can't properly break down these items, but only 40% is actually deadly to us—the rest come out the same way they came in.

-

Drell

In theory, 50% ediable to humans. But how do you feel about consuming thorns, spikes, leather-like meat? Thought so. Blended dishes make them safer to eat, but be sure to bring a water bottle because oh boy it's like the drell cuisine has to make love to the world's most dehydrating air-fry oven as the last step in every dish. On the flipside, Drell think human cuisine is too... watery, mushy, and gooey. If they consume too much, they might even get water overdose/intoxication, which is a real thing even humans can get if we ingest too much water, except our threshold is so high, really hard to graze by it unless you're in a water drinking competition or something.

-

Salarian's

Varied with proteins, fruits, and some meat, but very little carbs/grains. They didn't need to invest in agriculture much nor selectively breed their fruits/veggies, by the time they stopped licking their own eyeballs, Sur'kesh was an open buffet of colorful fruits and juicy bugs and small easy-to-catch prey. As a result, their culinary arts didn't develop much besides the basic, there was no necessity for it. Humans can eat their sugary fruits and fiber-rich veggies, some of the bugs. Salarian food is known to trigger an allergy reaction the very first few times you consume it until your digestive system and immune system familiarise themselves with it. 30% inedible, but there aren't many options to eat to begin with.

-

Batarians

Their diet overlaps with the salarians a lot! Except for the lack of meat. The whole species is somewhere on the vegetarian scale. Their culinary arts are more creative and considered a part of their culture, agriculture more advanced, and only 10% of it is poisonous to humans to eat, not deadly, but annoying poisonous. Some determined humans insist a particular batarian plant is basically paprika 2.0, but their vision have yet to be accepted by the masses.

-

Angara

100% safe to eat, but their dishes taste as bland as sin. One serving of beige goop paste coming up! Stuff outta dystopian futuristic movies. Very rich in nutrition value... in the nutritions needed by the photosynthesis electricity-generating angara body—not so much for the plain-jane humans. So don't eat too much, or you'll get poisoned from overdosing on the wrong vitamins. Angara have shown to place great cultural and sentimental value on certian food items, refusing a plate of freshly cut fruit from an angara is akin to spitting in their face, kicking their baby, punching their mother, and burning down their house, in no particular order.

-

Protheans

You don't want to know.

Let's just say, if they've held the power to consume planets and stars, they would've already, it wasn't from a lack of trying either.

They can eat anything and everything under the sun, even you, especially you. Or so Javik claims, and since he's your only frame of reference, you really don't want to put this theory to the test.

Although... he still acts queasy around pineapple juice. He claims it's not because he can't consume it, but for some other personal reason, he would rather not disclose.

-

Geth

Element zero based engines and hydrogen fuel mostly, 100% inedible and deadly to humans.

-

Vorcha

Man I don't fucking know what they eat, they scare me. Your mom or something.

-

Humans

Oh my god 100% safe to eat who would've thought, we need to throw a party someone go invite lady gaga.

This is more of a reverse list of what percentage of our food is safe to eat when it comes to galactic species.

Quarians, turians, and Volus can't eat any of our stuff.

Turians can enjoy our alcohol, but quarians can't for some reason.

Hanar enjoy our sushi. The rest is a no-go, but in theory, they can consume the raw meat of any Earth animal... maybe even us included.

Salarians absolutely adore human dishes and our varied cultures of culinary arts. A salarian can eat almost everything a human throws their way, except for a selection of a few items. One of the few species that can handle our seasonings and cooking oils just fine. Except for spiciness. They actually think our desserts and candy are not that sweet, well, in comparison to their sugar-rich Sur'kesh fruits.

The galactic species as a whole are weirded out by our obsession with milk and its incorporation into cooking—there were even plans to incorporate that fact into propaganda smear campaigns against humans by turians in the late stages of the First Contact War if things kept escalating—The thought of using the fluid meant for babies in cooking didn't even cross their mind, until they met us and were briefly horrifed. It simmered down into mild concern after they tasted a cake for the first time.

As a whole, no other alien species had a positive reaction when introduced to spiciness by enthusiastic humans, lots of masochism accusations thrown around.

A lot of them hate our more acidic fruits as well, because it digests them back faster than they can, especially pineapples that have yet to be safely consumed by a species other than humans.

On the other hand, enjoy this mental image a galactic murder mystery with an open can of pineapple slices as the chosen murder weapon, hanar detective and their elcor Watson-like helper that acts as the window for the readers to observe the world from. Homoerotic subtext sprinkled between these two throughout their journey.

[phattiepheeder]

are you trying to gain currently? how have your bowel habits and such changed since you have been gaining? i've gained 50lbs over the past year and i've definitely noticed that i get constipated more often and have to strain more on the toilet. maybe its all the big and heavy meals.

I am not trying to gain, but I do like seeing just how big my shits can be, so especially in the past year I’ve had multiple stuffings a week. The number on the scale slowly crept up and I’ve gained about 40lbs this year. None of my pants fit anymore and I definitely see a difference in my level of fitness. Just walking up the stairs gets me out of breath, I start sweating when I’m just walking. Plus I guess due to the constant consumption of too much fatty, fried, sugary and processed foods, my appetite has grown a lot. And I always answer it by eating until I’m too full. I don’t mind the weight gain though.

My bowel movements have changed too. I do get constipated a lot more. The heavier the meal and more dense the food is, the more likely I am to get backed up. But if I have a stuffing and it’s full of fried or greasy food, or if I go to a buffet and have three or four plates, the next day once everything is digested, I could go to the bathroom and 3-4 times, each time emptying a huge full load. I find myself enjoying my bathroom trips a lot more because I’ve been eating so much that it’s so relieving when I can make a bit of room for my next meal, especially if I’ve been constipated.

It really depends. Sometimes after a fast food binge, I’ll need to desperately shit and it’s all semi-solid greasy sludge. On those days I make sure to be extra careful with my farts because they’re so wet and juicy. After my heavier, greasier meals, im still so bloated even after I shit, and the more unhealthy the food, the stickier and sloppier my shit feels. I just know this year has turned my bowels into a sticky gooey mess. I never feel fully empty or ‘cleaned out’ so I’ve also been trying to have a psyllium husk loaded day once a week where I have 3tbsp throughout. Give my overworked bowels a break from trying to clear out all that garbage. And the bulk of those shits are MASSIVE. I empty a small mountain and I feel so much better after.

I assume those heavy meals, especially after a couple of days, must be difficult to pass. I hope your toilet is ok lol

[hyperlexichypatia]

"Universal housing won't work, because some homeless people want to be homeless! They don't want to be confined inside walls!"

Okay, suppose that's true. If every person were allocated their own house/apartment/unit, they wouldn't necessarily have to stay there. If they're more comfortable in the great outdoors, they could still sleep outside, hang out outside, spend their time outside. But they would still have a housing unit of their own, in case they wanted it. They could stay there occasionally, maybe when the weather was bad. They could take a shower there, receive mail there, have family and friends over there. Even if they chose not to use it as most housed people use our homes, they would still benefit from having it.

All of this, of course, is beside the point that the overwhelming majority of unhoused people do, in fact, want housing, and even the people who supposedly "turn down housing" or "don't want housing" are actually turning down the intense social control they're supposed to submit to in exchange for housing. There's a world of difference between "I'd rather sleep outside than live in a prison where I'm denied basic human rights and dignity" and "I actively like sleeping outside."

"But sometimes people in subsidized housing leave behind messes of blood and vomit and feces!"

Yes. Humans are animals, made of flesh and bone and gooey bits. Animals have gross bodily functions. We bleed and vomit and pee and poop. All of us do those things.

Sometimes, people -- especially poor people, who may have gone years without basic healthcare, or even decent food or hygiene -- have health issues or disabilities that prevent them from things like making it to the toilet in time, or cleaning up after themselves. Sometimes assigned housing for poor people is badly maintained, and may not even have things like a working flush toilet.

So yes, people have gross bodily functions, and some people -- especially if poor and/or sick and/or disabled -- may not have the ability or resources to deal with that issue in a hygienic way.

So what, exactly, is your solution?

Because my solution is to make sure that everyone has housing with adequate, working plumbing, and that everyone has access to voluntary healthcare to address chronic medical issues like vomiting or diarrhea, to provide needed adaptive equipment like a bedside commode, and, if needed, to hire personal care attendants to help people with things like cleaning, bathing, and toileting.

Your solution is what? That people with digestive issues should have to live outside? So they don't throw up on your nice floor? Do you have any idea how inhumane that sounds?

Or that they should be subjected to some type of coercive "behavior" program, because untreated Crohn's disease is a bad habit that they have to be tough-loved out of?

Because you think poor people are... just sitting there soiling themselves because they're too lazy to go to the toilet? That's actually what you think, isn't it? It follows logically from the assumption that poor people are poor in the first place because they're "lazy." But two seconds of thought would show that it couldn't possibly be true. You just think of poor people as less than human.

You are also gross and leaky and fleshy. You also poop and pee and barf and fart and sneeze. You are, through no virtue of your own, able to manage your bodily grossness. You are no better than someone who can't.

[akuyaku-monsters]

Stranded in Another World with the Lewd Exorcist Class (Story 1, Part 1)

The Cave Slime was a lot bigger than the guild scouting party reported. Bigger. Tougher. Stronger. More Aggressive. Was it possible for slimes to be mean? Were Dire Slimes even a thing? Charlotte, as a Guild Receptionist, was tasked with filling out report on the expedition. Was she a member of the Adventurer’s Guild? Yes. But, she wasn’t an adventurer! She wasn’t prepared for this! 

At least no one could see just how undignified any of this was. Charlotte’s receptionist uniform, was all smeared with dirt. She had to have the vest exchanged for a new one—in a larger size. Just a season earlier, she had to have the last of the ‘extra’ seam allowance let out in the white button-down shirts she wore as well. Soon, she’d need to buy a whole new set of the matching dark green vest and skirt set. 

Somehow, Charlotte had lost one of her dark brown leather loafers when she tried to run, tripped, and fell right on her face in the dirt. The other one was left behind somewhere early on in the trail the Slime dragged her down. 

Yes. The slime. The ooey-gooey slightly transparent critter that was supposed to be easy pickings for literally any newbie adventurer with third-rate spell casting abilities.  The easy-peasy pest monster that even little kids could defeat sometimes. Yes, that same one. The same one that had somehow managed to knock out or otherwise incapacitate the entire exploratory force that the Five-Wings Guild had waiting to gather for a deep-dive into a dungeon rumored to have suddenly grown a new floor. 

It was nearly 20 D-ranks, 5 C-ranks, and a veteran B-rank Fighter. Yes. A combined combat force that should have not defeated a slime so quickly that it would not have even been noticed. And yet, there was no on left to rescue Charlotte, the unfortunate Guild Receptionist as well as one of the C rank adventurers from that same exact slime. 

Just how long would it take for someone to notice something was wrong? They were supposed to check in after sunset, after everyone had come back up from the initial exploration. But, that would be nearly 6 or 7 hours. Since everyone was knocked out, there was no one to send a message back to the guild for help. And if anyone would have been the superior choice, it would have been Lin Lin the rogue. 

Yes, that Lin Lin. The one that was also being dragged off to who-even-could-imagine where by the slime, right next to Charlotte. Hah. Yeah, if Charlotte had gotten her choice, Lin Lin would have been the one she sent back for help. The speedy young lady would have gotten back to town in half the time it took anyone else. 

But that slime had shot some sort of liquid with the speed of a longbow and knocked Lin Lin out first before attending to everyone else in the gathered exploration party, and then making off towards the back of the first cave section. Then it paused, noticed Charlotte hiding under the folding table she was taking notes at. And it grabbed her. For one, no slime should have actually shown any sign of intelligence, never mind actually looking like it examined Charlotte before kidnapping her. 

Then there was the second issue. 

Why the hell did the Slime grab both the cute young redhead rogue from the guild and also Charlotte?! If this happened to be some sort of perverted, naughty-tentacle situation, Lin Lin was an obvious choice! After all, the young rogue was barely into her twentieth year: svelt and slim where she was supposed to be and perky where it counted. Lin Lin looked like she belonged in this world. And she had the speed and dexterity that suited her class. Ah, youth was wonder—that was not the point! 

The point was that Charlotte, pushing 33, and now an unwilling victim of gravity and a slowing metabolism, was also getting dragged off by the giant blobby blue slime towards what was probably the back of the cave. Hopefully not to die via digestion. Charlotte never would have said she was particularly ugly. But, she was decidedly softer than she was in her first world, over a decade ago in her college days. Especially around the thighs and her stomach. And, well, she just wasn’t quite as ‘proud and perky’ as she was back in the day, even if she had gained a little fullness. 

When she first came to the second world, Charlotte did receive a class. Was it a fighter? Or a wizard? Would she get to shoot fireballs and Drago-Slaves like she had always wanted? Hell no. Her class was stated as ‘Lewd Exorcist’ but there was a little asterisk by it. A popup stated, as if making fun of her, ‘You can pacify angry monsters by getting fucked by them.’ 

All of this had to be a punishment of some kind. Was it because she masturbated too much to fictional characters? Or because she spent her money on custom dildos ostensibly shaped like the genitals of various fantasy monsters? Or was it her secret tentacle kink? 

Regardless, Charlotte had decided that maybe she needed a change. Her and eyes had changed to a dark, almost pine dark green. So maybe she should give up the Pervert Life and try to be normal. She decided to forget her class—which was probably just divine punishment of some kind—and get a secure, stable, and less dangerous job. 

Somewhere in the back of her mind, Charlotte noted that she would have to get a new Guild Uniform. Because the one she wore got all kinds of torn up, and was only shredding more. Some of is was probably just gone. 

It was fucking dark, ok? Charlotte couldn’t see anything, and there were no torches or magic stones along the wall to provide any light. For an undetermined amount of time, Charlotte could only feel the tight grip of the slime’s (tentacle? Pseudopod?) around her midsection as it carried her deeper and deeper into the cave.  Next