#gotta learn how to draw & render faster

[mochibiscuit]

How to make a tiramisu, step 1: dip your lady finger finch in coffee

It's a bird soaking in coffee camouflaging as latte art (◡̀_◡́)

i like that they're called java finches cuz the brown ones look like coffee

[tom-is-online]

may i ask how much time u spend making one piece of art (the more serious posts ig) bc istg you shoot them out sometimes and its actually kinda aspirational ngl

For my doodle type stuff, I don't tend to spend more than 2 hours on them, typically a lot less, and obvs the more characters there are the longer itll take me blablabla, the shading also takes me like 5 mins so its not too hard at all to do

My rendered big style typically takes a few hours to a whole day, depending on how complicated it is. For example I think the Crossworlds Miku I did took about 4~ ish hours? i was on call at the time so if i think about straight working hours and not sat locked out i think it'd be about that. My blender Toya poster thingy whatever I drew took all day that day, like maybe 8-9? but again i might have adhd and i find it hard to sit and do something and not get distracted with a video or whatever so it is kinda hard to say. I do know my Ena birthday drawing took like 5 ish I think, which is crazy cuz thats one of my fav things I've done in a while. but also i was very concentrated that night lmao

I also want to say that I draw absurdly fast. I do animation at uni and that requires you to learn to draw quicker to make it more bearable but also out of my class, I think I am the fastest cuz my style is p simple and my hands move so insanely quick if im locked in. so like my times are probably a lot faster than is normal, like ppl in class have said they look over to me and if im locked in im like insanely fast. also all of the times ive said dont include planning beforehand and whatnot

speed in art is a thing that takes a lot of practice and u gotta learn a lot of ways to shortcut ur art, I use a lot of basic shapes in my planning and in my style in general which make is a lot easier for me to work fast (i do this cuz of my animation background lmao)

also tysm for saying its aspirational that means a lot omg :0

[kurios-development-hell]

FAQ about Delta-Gambit

As I mentioned before, I think this post should clarify a lot of questions behind my project. If anything is missing, be kind to tell me so and I'll edit.

((05/OCT/2024 -- I'm going to unpin this temporally until I finish tidying up this post -- had a huge set-back IRL that will dent my ability to focus on the project)) ((15/SEP/2024 -- Still trying to catch up on pending stuff for my blog, now that I'm getting more confident with Ibis Paint on the phone and combining it with CSP, I'll be able to focus on doing some organizing on this blog soonish. After that I'll focus on the stuff I owe to other people 😳 (not 3D because I still can't buy a GPU replacement for my broken one, but at least I can draw picturs... if RL stops nagging me with their selfish requests) ((18/AUG/2024 -- I gotta do some cleanup in this post later down the month now that I'm learning how to handle better the blog's presentation by watching how other people do theirs. Please disregard the present mess until then.))

((05/AUG/2024 -- I think I should add some disclaimer here -- currently I'm working on the project very slowly due to several RL issues that doesn't give me enough spare time a day -- until I get a new tablet (now a new GPU) to work faster I'll keep posting sketches and other things that I can do on the phone and 3D renders of my AU and OCs of other people -- I apologize for the slow trickling of content on my blog and thank you for dropping by))

🔵 What is this AU about?

This AU branches out after a half-baked Pacifist Route in which the plea of Spamton has been ignored by Kris for too long. Everything else is as a normal Pacifist Route, but with a tasteful twist. The story revolves around Spamton mostly, but he isn't the sole protagonist of this story, as other characters come to prominence later on and get tangled in a deep conspiracy that puts all of their lives at stake. It's roughly a story about the lives of the Darkners in a Dark World more than character centric drama, but I get to weave a ton of narrative devices that so far is being loved by all my proof-readers.

🔵 Is this AU related to any other AU?

Nope. This AU was created without any knowledge about anybody else's AU in the past. In fact, I didn't know other people made theirs until I read about it and that's when I came to the realization that what I did was called as "AU" 👀 I started writing the prologue draft at the end of January 2024, but I did not make any contact with the fandom up until the end of March 2024.

🔵 Why you make so many experimental art not related to the visual novel?

Because that's my way of training art, and I'd rather pick my characters as theme and focus of my training than practicing with something else to be honest. I also need to practice drawing my characters more often so that I can stay consistent with the designs when I start to build up the visual novel in Unreal Engine 5.

🔵 Do you have any samples of the visual novel?

Currently nope, as I'm still in training, learning through an Udemy course a friend of mine gifted me to learn how to make visual novels in Unreal Engine 5. Until I get the script of the first season done, I'll not work on the visual novel, because it would be dumb to work on it and not have any complete chapters done to start sharing them.

🔵 Will the visual novel be free to play or?

The visual novel will be free to download, but of course, you can always give a tip of kromer if you think my work is worthy of it 😁

It will be published on Locals, Itch.io and on Steam (this last one further down the line because of how it must be setup and the $100 that costs to get a game slot on Steam).

I'd also upload gameplay of it on my YouTube and Rumble channels if you are more of watching others playing it than playing the game yourself.

🔵 You mentioned a "season". Is your visual novel split in seasons?

I thought about calling them "arcs" but then I settled with the word "seasons" because of how animated they are and visual-novel format is almost like watching a movie but with huge captions. I've enough material for 1 season (of roughly 12~15 chapters, depending if I need to split chapters more because of their length) and I have ideas for a Season 2 that can survive on its own up until Chapter 3, 4 and 5 of the original Deltarune comes. Then after we get more official Deltarune story, I'll be able to produce a third season.

(moved updates to a different post)

🔵 Why Spamton though?

idk, brainrot? My Spamton should be called DG!Spamton, to distinguish it from the original (or other Spamton in the fandom). Though both are similar (if not identical) mine has something that made a few Spamton haters to start to like Spamton. I don't know how to explain it… It just works ._.

🔵 How do you pronounce "Spwatchton"?

S-pwatch-ton

🔵 Are you a Spaniard?

Born and raised, and it shows in my odd way of writing. Hope you don't mind some typos here and there but I try my utmost to quash them when I see them 😅

Also and just in case, you may address me as he/him or they/them but since I'm NB you may use whatever pronouns you feel comfortable with 😉I love you all 💌 (in the most respectful way)

You may call me Spwatchton or Spwatch, we're not picky.

[kyrodo]

Overall competency level with making an avatar look nice. I'm gradually getting comfortable with all the bells and whistles here and there. Even the bones and weight painting side of things, it was noticeably easier and faster this time around. I already had a less than vague idea of how to approach it and I got the straps redone. Rounded the khnfucat trinket, no problem. I could still stand to go through the donut tutorial in its entirety to iron out my knowledge of all the capabilities of blender and how to do it, including the stuff I don't do right now like renders.

But yeah. Originally the trenchcoat idea was off of watching kippicat's community showcase at furality. He has that heartless looking avvie with the organization style jacket. I thought I could find it myself and found something else instead, and I made it work. I learned so much out of it, I padded out the identity of my mayu sona with it. I even get commissioned for a retexture. My power and knowledge grows and I'm able to keep making these small additions here and there, and people definitely notice it. I love that so much. People will never fully understand or appreciate all the little things I've done for the avatar especially the less noticeable stuff but they appreciate it as a whole and that's enough for me to keep at it. Azuki himself recognizes it, I'm one of the mayus with custom clothing that many never learn that far to do, and that makes me recognizable, that makes me stand out. And the fact that beyond gumroad assets and shaders the rest of my work is pretty much all me, it feels like I've earned it. I feel accomplished as someone who works on avatars, even if it's mostly just my own.

Also I guess the fun thing about avatar work is community content. You can shop around for stuff on gumroad for things like clothing, based, accessories, whatever, but you don't just stick with what you get. You gotta tweak it to fit your colors, you have free reign to make whatever edits you want after you get the asset. So it's legalized art theft in a way. You're editing someone else's work, or your editing a base someone else made, or you're using a shader someone else made. It is a very collaborative process, and while it is useful to be able to do things like make your own assets and models, especially for small things that are easy to make, generally most people look for what's available before they start making something themselves. There is a lot of work sharing that makes avatar work more accessible than regular artwork. And there's so much you can do with tweaks to material settings that is significantly easier than drawing. It's helpful to know how to draw to make your own textures more customized, but beyond that it's more knowledge based. Knowing how the different features of poiyomi work, knowing how the masks behave, knowing how to get vrc fury to behave the way you want it to. It is much more accessible for a non artist to be able to get somewhere and make things look nice under their own power than be dealing with clip studio or whatever art program and trying to draw precise lines or build anatomy from scratch on an empty canvas with a drawing tablet you might not even have. No, instead I am able to thrive here.

[stinkybrowndogs]

how did you develop your art style? it's really cute! and i am struggling to figure out how to develop my own style

Ahh thank you! I very much feel like I’m still developing my art style if I’m being honest 😅

Unfortunately the answer is what everyone else says:

-drawing regularly (I’ve been drawing almost daily for 3 ish years, and I improved much faster in that time than I had over the past 5 ish years where I was not regularly drawing)

- REFERENCE even if u don’t think u need it. Just having a picture of the Thing in the corner of your vision will improve your drawing. My art is always, without fail, better if I have a reference.

-drawing exercises: figure drawing, life drawing, 30 second sketches, 1 minute sketches ect. It looks SO UGLY at first but the more you do the stronger your shape language will become.

basically all the stuff they force you to do in art school (that’s what u pay all that money for… some old guy to shame u when u don’t do ur life drawings). Change how you approach your sketches, try different mediums/brushes ect. Recently ive been sketching in silhouettes rather than lines, which has rewired my brain, and my shape language has gotten so much better. DONT BE AFRAID TO MAKE UGLY ART in fact everyone should make as much ugly art as possible. For each good drawing u gotta do 10 uglies. Try to learn a new technical skill once in a while, like color theory or using line weights or procreate/photoshop skills…. U don’t need to know everything all at once but as u learn and add those skills to ur art u will see it improve (sounds crazy I know). Hit up TikTok or YouTube for art tutorials…. If you don’t know how to draw something, look up how! (Insane that it took me like 10 years of art to start watching art tutorials. Unrelated, I can now draw trees and foliage with ease)

Remember, if you feel stuck or blocked, go back to your technical skills. Draw an apple. Sketch some people. Render a 3d sphere. Practice shadows and perspective.

Personally I’ve been trying to exaggerate my shapes and simplifying my designs. I’ve been using the Oberon brush for blocking colors and the dry ink brush for linework.

And, honestly, don’t feel like you need to tie yourself down to one “style”, you may find that pushing and experimenting with anything you find fun or interesting might be where u find it, u know?

[lucky-komainu]

Dear Artists 11

“Just a doodle.”

“Just a sketch.”

These are two phrases folks tend to hear while staring at what they consider a finished, polished and fully rendered piece of work. It makes you want to scream the artist. “WHAT do you MEAN it’s a SKETCH???”

But I think it’s important to remember that for them, it very much is a sketch. It very much is a doodle. It may be how they approach getting their ideas down in comparison to what they consider working to finish a piece seriously. Because you don’t see their process or understand their thinking behind working on it, it may appear as if they intended on making it a final piece. But to them, you gotta remember it isn’t.

As you get better at art, you’ll begin being capable of dropping down things you’ve learned over the years much faster than you did before.

To get an idea of how this mindset happens, I always suggest people to go do timed gesture drawings. Time yourself for one minute to draw a single pose, but for every minute, change the pose!

Repeat this anywhere between 10 - 30 times. You may begin to find yourself knocking out those poses in more and more detail, finishing what you want to do even before those 60 seconds are up. Time feels like it’s moving slower, and you grow less anxious over thinking you’re running out of time. 

This is exactly what happens for your work as you progress over time.

So, whenever you see your favorite artists posting their ‘doodles’ and their ‘sketches’, using that ever popular phrase, tell them how kickass it looks, and that you hope they’ll consider turning it into a fully completed image!

Just imagine what it will look like when it isn’t just a doodle!

[comicteaparty]

March 28th-April 3rd, 2020 Creator Babble Archive

The archive for the Creator Babble   chat that occurred from March 28th, 2020 to April 3rd, 2020.  The chat focused on the following question:

How many hours do you work on your comic per week, and how do you manager to balance that with other responsibilities?

Holmeaa - working on WAYFINDERS

heheh So we are.. cheating a bit Both me and my coworker are unemployed, and is working on hour comic, like was it a full time job. It is our passion project, and dream that we can work and live of makeing comics. In Denmark you can apply for grants from the government, but you need to have releashed a book before that is possible. We are useing the comic, to show potentional clients in the future what we can do. For now we are working on it from 09:00-17:00 ish (with a long lunch break) while applying for other kinds of grants, and also does all the things we are supposed to to get our unemplyment money, and searching for jobs, and freelance gigs, gathering the courage to start our own small company (not right now though) and yeaah time will tell

carcarchu

@Holmeaa - working on WAYFINDERS that doesn't sound like cheating to me? more like using the tools at your disposal to turn your passion into a viable career

Holmeaa - working on WAYFINDERS

hehe it feels a little like cheating! there are some debates about if it is okay or not, but we think that strengthening our skills is a good use of our time

eli [a winged tale]

Haha also not cheating! It’s great you’re using the time to chase the dream I’m curious what’s your breakdown for those time working on the comic? As for me, usually 1-2 hours a day with a bit more on the weekend if time permits. These days with the quarantine it’s about 2-3 h a day

DanitheCarutor

Since I'm unemployed until who knows when I've been working on my comic between 40-50 hours a week about 6 to 7 days a week... most weeks. Some days, like update day or chore day, I hardly work on the comic or don't work on it at all. Admittedly I'm not the best at balancing drawing with other responsibilities, sometimes I get so into it that I forget about daily house chores, other weeks I do the opposite and only do house chores which makes me totally behind of comic stuff. I can't seem to find a good middle ground, it always turns into completely focusing on one or the other.

eli [a winged tale]

Yeah when I get in the zone, time flies and life gets put to the wayside

shadowhood (SunnyxRain)

So I have no school or work, so the webcomic has become almost a fulltime project for me

I average about 10 hours per day working on it, not counting on chores and exercise

Another thing I worry about is the possibility of carpal tunnel syndrome, which is why I've been relentless with exercise, too

I guess it's just a combination of relentless reminders and also sheer willpower that gets me to do other responsibilities haha

@eli [a winged tale] also I know that feeling

Joichi [Hybrid Dolls]

So since my school had to cancel, I have to be more responsible for my online course. Sometimes I give myself 2 days off each week to work more into my upcoming webcomic but I have to switch my mind for school work, online classes. Also extra time for food. I need to get back into exercise or I feel exhausted more easily. I keep a wall schedule so that I make it a routine to write what I'll do every 3 or 5 days, to keep my active brain reminded(edited)

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

I spent the majority of last year (fun)employed (partially by choice, partially not! my previous job let me go rather unceremoniously... and I needed a hiatus anyway... so it worked out) so I poured a lot more hours into that chapter of Phantomarine than I usually did. I worked on it almost every day - at least for a couple of hours, but sometimes up to a full eight-hour day. That number has dipped tremendously since I’ve gone back to work, but I’m spreading the same amount of time out in a broader way. I’m trying to get a good buffer during my hiatus, so I can work and draw in a healthy balance. I don’t have crazy overtime at my current job like I did at my last one, so that’s already a comfort. I’m confident I’ll be able to hit a good stride once the comic returns in June (edited)

eli [a winged tale]

Can’t wait Lady!!

Feather J. Fern

Two part time jobs, and school killed my comic, but I been working on getting one panel done a day, which is around 30minutes to an hour if possible.

eli [a winged tale]

My routine used to be rendering on the commute but now just once in am and once pm until this limbo time is clarified

That’s awesome Feather! It’s so rewarding when everything comes together after putting effort everyday

Feather J. Fern

Once school is done in two more weeks I will be more free to do things so I hope to get maybe two panels done in a day XD

Online school, stupid quarantine

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

Due to the pandemic im mostly off school and my part time job so i spend like 4-5 hours on my comic per day. Still would like try to get a page done per day but lmao digital painting is slowwww

eli [a winged tale]

What’s everyone’s tips for breaks/stretches/balance? I feel like I certainly need to revisit these to avoid burnout and continue feeling motivated!

Feather J. Fern

Actually there was a cool manga artist who's tip was literally he only worked working hours. His mornings are free and since manga was his job, he worked form 12-6, giving him 2 hours to do other work he needs to get done, and takes morning walks and stuff.

Another person I know had "No working weekends" as a thing becuase they are a freelancer.

I personally have try to make sure I ahve a routine, and actually, stretch before drawing.

Streetch before, during a break, and then after, to keep that body nice and warmed up

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

Health-wise there's this hing for your : every 20 minutes, look at something 20 feet away for 20 seconds. I'm not good at following this, but when I do it, it helps a lot.

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

Despite the current pandemic, my work-life hasn't changed much (unless you count stress getting in the way). I am currently "unemployed," but I do consider comicking my full-time job. I am also not very good at balancing work and life. Something's always gotta give. Last year, I worked at a job that basically ruined my ability to work on my comic. I worked 30-40 hours typically, ruined my sleep schedule, took work home sometimes, and was constantly exhausted. This is what resulted in my year and a half long hiatus, and it's what drove me to work like hell on my comic when I quit. Now (when I'm in the groove and not suffering from art block), I typically spend 60-70 hours on my comic and get 2-3 pages done: - 30 hours sketching (I know, ridiculous) - 5 hours filling in base colors - 20-25 hours painting - 5 hours adding text, speech bubbles, sfx, and finishing touches - 1-2 hours formatting for Webtoon I also spend some time throughout the week typing up the script, doing concept art for things coming in the future of the comic, and preparing for conventions, but I can't tell you exactly how much time.

eli [a winged tale]

Thanks for the breakdown! I’m always keen to learn from everyone and seeing how the workflow is like for different people

shadowhood (SunnyxRain)

oh don't forget to do wrist stretches!

eli [a winged tale]

Ahh formatting time is always so tedious for me!

Yes wrist exercises! Any recommendations?

shadowhood (SunnyxRain)

hmmm well the easiest one is literally just shaking it out

like every hour

and I also like to hold my arm out parallel, point my fingers up and using my other hand to pull the fingers back so i'm stretching the wrist

then I point the fingers down and pull on the fingers until my wrist is stretching

eli [a winged tale]

Awesome. Will be adopting those!

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

I'm pretty fast. 2-6 hours per page, depending on how detailed it is. Average of 3-4. I could probably do 2 pages/ week easily enough, but don't want to do more than that. I'm the kind of person who always needs to be doing a million different things. I need to leave time for my other hobbies and my paintings and my academics and extracurriculars. Otherwise I'd get burnt out doing one thing only

Holmeaa - working on WAYFINDERS

@eli [a winged tale] So since it is both me and @Q (Wayfinders: Off Course) working, we start with working on a rough each, our goal is one step (so rough, ink, color) for two pages pr day, pr person. So in a weak the goal is four finished pages a week, and then we upload 3 pages per week. So it is divided that in the morning we start at 09:00 in the morning, maybe checking mail, being practical or whatever. Then we work until 12:00 were we eat lunch, go for a long nice walk and then we go back to work between 13:00 and 14:00 ish and then work until 17:00 when we begin to prepare dinner. Then of course breaks inbetween

Q (Wayfinders: Off Course)

It’s pretty wild to be able to dedicate your entire day to comics like that

shadowhood (SunnyxRain)

damn you all work fast

do you guys have any tips on how to work on a webcomic faster?

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

Lol, I wish!

Still looking for those magical secrets

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

@shadowhood (SunnyxRain) You know the 80-20 rule? You can get 80% of the result with 20% of the effort? My comic is very messy if you zoom in. I don't spend time making sure the linework or the coloring is perfectly clean. Also, I'm pretty fast at drawing figures. I used to practice figure drawing a lot by rushing to draw strangers irl before they moved, or by drawing a bunch of fast figures from the free figure drawing model websites online. I've also taken a figure drawing course (didn't even have to pay because it was part of my university! Even if you don't have that option you can probably find free life drawing sessions on Meetup or similar!) which really helped me streamline my process for drawing people

shadowhood (SunnyxRain)

Oh I see! Yes, I used to take life drawing classes too! And your response makes me feel a lot better

I tend to be a bit messy with inking, and since i'm a perfectionist a lot of my time is wasted on editing/clean up

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

I've seen cronaj draw, and while I think the results look excellent, I think her method is a kind of inefficient. She draws like a printer, nearly finishing one detailed body part before moving on the the next. I think maybe if she drew in a more classical way, going from a gesture drawing to progressively more detailed, it might help her be faster and her poses more cohesive and dynamic. Maybe working on 1 or 5 min figures would help? Practicing things like this?

eli [a winged tale]

Yeah I try to do figure practices for efficiency

shadowhood (SunnyxRain)

I heard that there are some online life drawing vids you can follow too

but what are your experiences with online life drawing vids versus the real thing

like is there a real difference?

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

found some of my old 1 minutes

To me there's not too much difference

I've heard some people say that life drawing is either way easier or way harder though. Because of your depth perception when looking at a real person

But the bruises on my legs can attest to my horrid depth perception haha. That might be why I don't notice a difference

Actually those previous sketches might be 30 seconds? I don't remember

I would recommend you try both but right now we pretty much only have the online option haha

eli [a winged tale]

Yeah I’ve done both and I think irl creates complexity with depth and the interactions with others etc is helpful but online is my go to for flexibility

I think having a process streamlined will make things more efficient. The downside is that it might feel tedious and I do switch it up from time to time for variety

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

Might feel uncomfortable but that's how you know you're improving

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

There is a TON of difference for me. I HAVE to look at a physical model in front of me.

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

Can't get better if you always do the same things

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

This is what my brain does.

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

I wonder- could drawing yourself in a mirror be a decent substitute?

If youre lucky you might also be able to ask an SO or roommate to model for you. Should probably pay them back by cooking for them or something though

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

Brain: sees a real model in front of me Brain: translates 3D to 2D, result: drawing Brain: sees a photo/video of a model Brain: SHIT. That's supposed to be 3D, isn't it? Brain: Translates 2D to 3D (basically re-constructing it in my head, or attempting to re-construct) so that it can translate it back to 2D Brain: BSOD

There's some online resources out there that have "3D" photos... you know, two near-identical images side by side, so if you look at it cross-eyed, it becomes 3D?

But I can't do those because I get a headache X'D

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

Just thinking about drawing from that makes me dizzy

eli [a winged tale]

Oh interesting!

Yeah maybe looking out the window to draw people would be the way to go...

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

But maybe figure drawing in VR exists?

eli [a winged tale]

Balcony figure drawings

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

I live on the top floor so those are going to be some very small figures

eli [a winged tale]

For ants

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

Once this coronavirus thing is over, there's lots of ways you can do gesture drawings from just random people -- bus stops, cafes, museums (I have not done this, but people who have done this report this is really good because others assume you're drawing the artworks. XD)

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

I've done this a lot

Sometimes I've even shown people drawing of themselves if they've turned out particularly nice

They've always taken it well

shadowhood (SunnyxRain)

I like drawing my professors because they use hand gestures a lot when they talk

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

Airport was REALLY good for finding people stuck in one pose indefinitely

shadowhood (SunnyxRain)

they alwayas laugh when I show them

eli [a winged tale]

Shadow omg I do that too

Draws classmates

shadowhood (SunnyxRain)

yeah the only issue i have with drawing classmates

is that they're always doing the "i'm using my phone" pose

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

Become the master of drawing people on their phones

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

Maybe try drawing children on the playground?

This works better if you're a woman

shadowhood (SunnyxRain)

oh thank jesus

I also like going to the zoo or the museum

or the aquarium if i'm feeling adventurous

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

I am a University student so I also have some pretty interestng drawings of people asleep in weird poses

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

I really need to start going to weekly figure drawing sessions once this is over (there's one here... 20 min drive... 8AM Saturdays )

shadowhood (SunnyxRain)

ditto or just go to the park and draw

and @Eightfish (Puppeteer) I've had some.....weird poses from all my profs

one guy was incredibly hard to draw; he was VERY enthusiastic about showing us knife skills

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

The parks here are too spacious, to a degree where it's weird to get close enough to people

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

Bring binoculars

shadowhood (SunnyxRain)

Don't worry ma'am I'm an artist

nothing sketchy

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

(except my sketch)

shadowhood (SunnyxRain)

A+ pun right there

another place to go for figure drawing

theaters

like.....opera/plays

I once tried drawing the men dancing in the Newsies musical

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

Tried that once, but it took me out of the performance

shadowhood (SunnyxRain)

same i was dazzled by dancing men

aaaaand then i abandoned sketching at all when they started throwing newspaper strips into the audience

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

But they were giving you free paper!

shadowhood (SunnyxRain)

THEY WERE

i'll take what i can get

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

@Eightfish (Puppeteer) While I agree that my method of drawing is "inefficient," I do not draw like a printer. There are videos of people drawing like a printer and it's not what I'm doing. I have done gesture drawing before, but it always looked incredibly abstract, and not quite like people, which is fine, but not what I'm going for. I treat gesture drawing like a warm-up exercise. It doesn't really do anything for my end result, but gets my drawing muscles stretched out.(edited)

eli [a winged tale]

Gesture drawings are definitely a good warmup!

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

Perhaps it was an inappropriate analogy. What works for me I guess wouldn't work for everyone. I was trying to offer advice because whenever you talk about how much time you spend on art and you work life balance it's commendable but also dismaying. I hope you find something that works for you in the future

sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)

Oh god.. I sometimes work 6 hours a day. I guess thats like 30 hours a week? Crazy to think about, it's like a full job

Oooh you guys are sharing figure drawings... I swant to show some of mine

Behold

sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)

My figure drawing usually breaks down into like, medical anatomy study. I feel like I understand body shapes better by including the muscles & bones

carcarchu

ABS the most important figure study

Deo101 [Millennium]

ah figure drawing? I love figure drawing ^^

I do like a lot but this kinda thing is most of it

anyways as for the question at hand, I do a lot of different things for my comics weekly. My millennium pages take me 2-6 hours i would say, but I also have patreon things I need to do so I'd say i spend 10-15 hours on it a week. for my other comic, I spend about 6 hours an update, and it updates every other week. but honestly, all of my free time goes to assorted comics. If i'm not working on school work or chatting with people, I'm working on things for patreon, potential merch, or other comics I want to start sometime.

sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)

Oooh nice poses!!’

Deo101 [Millennium]

thanks!! I have a ton of gesture/figure drawings but these ones are my most recent that I have saved to my computer i think

10 minutes im pretty sure. very good for speeding up

sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)

Those look really nice, good values

Deo101 [Millennium]

thanks ^^ I really hate working in charcoal honestly, it kinda always winds up hurting my body somehow, but its very quick sooooooo

kayotics

My answer for the prompt question has changed a lot since I started quarantine lmao... I used to do about 10 hours of work throughout the week on my comic page (usually after work, I have an office job) but ironically it’s gotten harder while I work from home. I’ve been struggling to find time since I don’t have a separation between work and home now, and putting the boundaries up of “I’m not always available” to coworkers is difficult.

Also on figure studies: they’re a great way to practice speed. I use the concepts of figure drawings all the time.

RebelVampire

@kayotics As someone who always works from home doing remote contract work, I have to say I think this is something a lot of people underestimate about work at home life. In that it's sometimes really difficult to establish boundaries with ppl and make them understand you aren't always available and also aren't gonna work billions of hours of overtime. So I'm sorry to hear that's affecting your comic work.

Shadowmark Productions

I work anywhere from 6-8 hours a day on comic stuff. That’s an average though. Sometimes I slack and need to pull all nighters to make up for it. Yes, I am terrible at time management. They say entrepreneurs are the only people willing to work 80 hours a week for themselves so they do not have to work 40 hours a week for someone else. I guess webcomic creators are the only people willing to work 80+ hours a week so that they can... go to work for someone else afterwards

AntiBunny

4 days of procrastinating, 1 of procrastinating and hating myself, and 2 of actual comic drawing seems to make up my weekly comic making schedule. :p

sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)

I can only imagine how stressed I would be if I forced myself to update weekly

Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)

This is a hard question to answer because it varies a lot depending on my energy levels. Ideally I’d spend several hours a day on comics, but realistically I draw as much as possible when I have the energy (5+ hours a day for as many days in a row as I can handle it) and then go weeks or months too tired to do comics. On average, barring any long periods of exhaustion or other interruptions from RL, I spend about 20+ hours a week making pages for my comics.

sagaholmgaard

I prefer to work on my comic for about an hour ever morning and maybe 2-3 hours in the evening, that's the ideal routine for me. Right now I sadly have a lot of schoolwork to do (writing my thesis) so i might get less than 30 minutes in the morning and then feel rlly tired in the evening so I dont get as much time then either. but oh well!

I can still work for 4-5 hours on the weekends so I manage ^^(edited)

chalcara [Nyx+Nyssa]

The whole stay-indoors order's currently completely wrecked my pattern, but before that I did between 3-4 hours a day.

Shadowmark Productions

Can’t imagine the stress of a daily or even weekly posting schedule. Hats off.

[misbhaves]

neko twitch stream log; the final entry.

2018, FEBRUARY 3rd 04:07 AM. 

11.

The room was mostly dark, were it not for the neon lighting bathing itself across the walls, the cupboard, the bed in the corner and the silhouette of the petite hooded figure sitting bow-legged in a chair far too big for her. Between the length of her bangs that were falling into her eyes and the mask stretched over the lower half of her face, nothing was visible, but the feminine posturing and avatar seemed to do the job because not even ten minutes in and no words said and the number of people watching the stream had already jumped up to twenty. The first exhale she released was shaky, and her hands trembled around the XBOX controller in her hands. The viewer count went up and down sporadically as she tried to psych herself up, before, finally a soft voice began speaking: “K-konnichiwa, minna-san.” the girl gave a small bow with her head, the light washing over her concealed face creating shadows over the mask that almost indicated a facial expression. either a smile or a nervous laugh. “I-I’m Neko-chan. Pleased to meet you. Um. I’m a little shy, but I’ll do my best.”

After the first few encouraging comments poured in, her shoulders appeared to relax and her expression, too, or what was visible of it anyway. 

2018, AUG 21st 14:21 PM.

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There was certainly something to be said about popularity, although all her peers repeatedly claimed it wasn’t that important. It was certainly a phrase Neko was guilty of saying, and often, in both languages. Even as she thanked her followers for each milestone she passed from her humble beginnings. Unlike the shy manner with which she had carried herself in her first few videos, she now opened her videos with more fanfire and open excitement. She hadn’t grown comfortable yet to take off her mask, but as she inched closer to the 500K follower mark, she had already decided to change that soon. 

“I-D-K how I feel about the Gamerscom trailer for DMC5. Personally, I’m not sure I really pictured Dante the way he’s been looking in the hyper-realistic rendering of his character,” The girl rambled, pausing only to give herself a sip of the gargantuan soda she had by her side, having to push the mask slightly upward over her mouth to do so. “Show my face?” She said, nearly choking on the soda in the process. “Just like Dante, I feel like the live-action is not going to live up to the anime drawings, you know?”

There was a voice off-camera, seemingly stealing her attention. “What, already?” She whined, before turning back to the camera. “Gotta run off for an IRL sidequest,” She huffed apologetically, setting aside her controller already. “Neko signing out. Ja ne!”

2018 SEP 2ND 16:45 PM.

127K.

“A-Ah, I’m nervous,” It was said daintily, her head ducked and voice shaky for the first time since her early days on the platform. There were already words of encouragement pouring in. Others were impatient, reminding that she had, in fact, promised that today would have been the day. An anxiety she didn’t know the birthplace of always knotted in her chest when it came to the prospect of allowing herself to be judged my others. It was strange. A sharp ache that felt defensive somehow. As if her body was shielding itself based on a previous rejection her mind could not remember.

Shaking hands came up to the tight cotton straps of the mask curved around her ears. “Um. I just want to say uh, I’m sorry if any of you are disappointed.” She mumbled quietly, breathing out shakily, painfully, before slowly unhooking the straps and lowering the mask off her face. 

Then, with one of her hands, she went ahead and pushed her bangs out of her eyes, too. “Konnichiwa, minna-san,” She said, mirroring her first ever greeting, comfortable with her mother-tongue. “It’s me. Neko-chan. Nice to meet you.”

Her cheeks were stained a deep red, her gaze averted so she wouldn’t be too tempted to look at the chat. “A-Anyway, I’m going to play Yakuza-0 first,” She said, fumbling for her controller. “I hope you guys enjoy.”

2019 APR 20TH 20:07PM

45K.

The video opened with royalty-free 8-bit music playing in the background of a dark room bathed in neon pink lighting. sitting cross-legged and hugged by a gaming chair a little too big for such a small person. Neko - a video-gaming streamer of some influence greeted her viewers with a classic ‘v’ sign.. “Hey demons, it’s ya girl, Neko, back at it again with a cringey youtuber intro. First off, good evening to all of you and special greetings to the moon which is out here killing it after the sun was way too hot today.”

The girl fanned herself dramatically, “Today, I was going to go out to see what new games I could buy, but since it was too hot to wear a mask, I just stayed home and continued playing Yakuza all day long. But then like an hour ago, it hit me that i was being a doofus and should at least let you guys play Yakuza with me. So, here we go, minna-san. just a girl, her bunnies and some sweet Japanese gang action.” Her nose wrinkled. “I already don’t wanna know what the chat is gonna be like after that poorly worded statement.” The camera jerked slightly as the girl moves closer, knocking her knee into something underneath the desk and making the desk shake as she jumped in place. “itai... sorry...” She was mumbling, one eye squeezed shut, then louder and more cheerfully, she continued, I fell down the stairs earlier today and I think I might have hurt my ankle, but it’s okay as long as I don’t touch it. an’ I accidentally kicked the CPU.” The screen split then, showing live-action gaming footage. “I-R-L is looking pretty crazy lately, guys. every time I go outside it’s like, I see someone else being collared and taken into a van. america land of the free, home of the brave my ASTEROIDS. What’s brave about going up to people with weapons that render them totally powerless and shackling them without giving them the chance of a fair fight? And like, for what crime anyway? For being born? No wonder so many of you Americans are always raving about going to Japan, because let me tell you, I know plenty of people - some very close to me - who are mutants and nobody cares.” Her fingers continued to rapidly tap away at the controller in her hands, her eyes focused on the game as she spoke.

“You know what I think? I think the mayor of this city is just intimidated. he’s too scared and insecure in his own ability to control a city where some of his civilians are stronger, or faster or smarter than he is.” With an uncharacteristically humourless laugh, she continued. “Boo hoo, Virgie, everyone in the world has to deal with the fact they’re inferior to someone else. It doesn’t give them the right to commit genocide. For Hitler , it was art school. who wants to take bets on what Virgie’s big old justification is?”

“Maybe he was bullied in school, or like a mutant stole his girlfriend, or - wow, what if like, he auditioned for the school play and a mutant stole his role and the guy of his dreams? You know... like Sharpay Evans, who deserved better. whatever it is. It doesn’t matter, because people go through bad, horrible things every day and they still make the choice to be good. I make the choice every day, that even if I’m capable of hurting the people who hurt me a hundred times worse, I won’t do it.”

Her voice was then accompanied by the sound of automated grunts and groans as she concentrated momentarily on the in-game killing she was providing her audience. “And I won’t let you do it either. So, if any of you out there are scared, don’t be. Find others like you and take shelter, because the more unified you are, the less power he has over you.”

After a pause, the girl giggled. “Or something like that. I’ve had a lot on my mind lately, sorry. Um, moving on... did any of you guys play the latest Yakuza? what did you think of it, I personally...”

2019 MAY 25TH 22:17PM.

11K.

The steam begun with uncharacteristic silence, bereft of the tinny music the girl had been opening her streams with for the past five months, if not more. The room was the same, as was the chair, but there was something about the girl seated in it that seemed different. Haunted almost. The bruises on her youthful face had almost entirely faded, but they were enough cause for alarm amongst her fans, most of whom had flooded in after seeing her go live for the first time after a nearly month-long hiatus. 

“Hi, everyone,” She greeted in English first before repeating the same in Japanese. “Been a while, huh?” She folded her legs up onto her chair, spinning to and fro. “I haven’t been home in a while. There’s been a lot going down in the city I live in and... I haven’t been dealing with it well, honestly.” She reached up, pushing her hair behind her ear. “You know, I used to think that being a hero just meant doing the right thing, or saving the day. 

43K.

Her nose wrinkled slightly. “But recently, I’ve come to realise it’s not that simple. Sometimes being a hero means not being able to save the day, but being able to send a message.” She cleared her throat, her fingers clenching around her knees. “Yesterday, there was a rally, in which dozens of mutants of various ages were kidnapped. Chained and carted away like cattle. Some of these people are my friends.” Her voice cracked on the last word.

67K.

“And I have failed them.” She continued. “By being born someone privileged enough to have my status swept under the rug.” She bit into her lower lip. “While people like me rot in ... these pseudo-military bases and get tortured and prodded and experimented on as if it’s the second world war and we have learned nothing.”

113K.

“And just like me, if you’re sitting at home and you’re doing nothing while this happens even though you have the power to do otherwise,” She continued, voice strained. “Then you’re just as bad. Just as cowardly.” With a shuddering breath, continued. “The time I’ve spent here, with you guys, will always be the happiest memories I’ll ever have. And maybe one day, I’ll come back and make some more. But, for now, I guess...” She shook out another sigh, reaching up to catch a traitor tear that slipped down her pale face. “I’ll have to be on this hiatus indefinitely.”

130K.

“Because even if I don’t know how this fight is going to end... and even if I’m scared I,” She reached off-screen for something, and when her hand drew back it was holding a porcelain mask, shaped in the traditional Kitsune shape. “I can’t wait around expecting for things to just... get better.”

“And I can’t keep relying on friends or family anymore either, because in the end...” She trailed off, something about her expression breaking. “You never really know a person, do you?” Resolutely, she fastened her mask onto her face. “I can’t wait to be saved anymore.”

“I’m sorry, dad. But, in this story, the princess rescues herself.”

And just like that, the live stream ended abruptly. 

[ubercharge]

How do you draw paws so well? They're always so cute and round and the toes look great. I can't seem to master it. ;w;

ok so i drew this for you but it’s a fucking mess (i’m sorry) so i’ll try to put it into text form...

if you’re studying anatomy sometimes you get too caught up in exactly how something looks. but when it comes to natural stuff sometimes you wanna force yourself to look at it less rigidly (unless rigid works for you), you can do this by drawing faster and thinking sketch > rendering

keeping things loose + organic help sell the natural look

use curves and round lines. to prevent shapes from turning to mush, know where things angle off like the arc of each toe, it’s not a perfect curve all the time (some cats got round af toes though)

also along the lines of ‘don’t be too rigid’: paws are squishy like a lot of natural forms. boobs aren’t perfect spheres at every angle and position, you gotta think of them more like water balloons or whatever. teardrop shape. same with paws, they’re not gonna be perfect circles/squares. it can help to think of organic forms as broken down shapes, just remember they squash and bend so use non-standard shapes

unless you’re doing super stylized chibi paws it’s easier to stylize after you learn how the irl anatomy works. then you can fuck it up all you want

don’t force all the toes, sometimes you don’t see them all based on the angle

middle toes are bigger/taller with larger beans

different animals have different paw shapes, paw pads, etc. you know which artists have done their homework when you see people put paw pads on rabbits

check out tutorials, you never know when an artist’s tips/tricks work for you. i learned how to draw paws and wings off of devart tutorials way fuckin back as a kid

use and study from photo references. practice. if you don’t like what you’re churning out from memory, go back to studying refs. build up your brain library then you’ll have more material to use to tackle your next drawing and it’ll get easier to do stuff from memory

it’s ok to go back to studies no matter how experienced an artist you are. focus on learning + improvement. don’t ever beat yourself up over this shit. as an artist you WANT to constantly be learning and that entails sometimes just straight up not being satisfied with what you put out cuz you know you can do better, just gotta help your brain and/or hands catch up with each other.

if you’re trying to focus on one area (like paws, or maybe you’re studying a certain kind of animal, etc.) i think it helps to check out what works for other people (tutorials) and do studies where i redraw what i see in a photo. it’s ok to trace off stuff if you’re learning, just don’t post it. it can help you understand the curvature/angles of something as you work on studying it, but it’s a good practice to keep those studies private. unless maybe you own the photo then do whatever

he he squishy beans

[gore-400]

two halves of a whole - ch 2

summary: Sangwoo isn't a bad person, he just needed help. And Yoon Bum could help him. He had to help him. There is no alternative.

(AU where the rat poisoning scheme goes down differently. the tables will turn and everyone will be horribly abused)

cross posted to ao3 (here)

rating: explicit (violence), canon typical violence and abuse

content warnings: emetophobia

Climbing down the stairs to the basement is slow and hard. Every step needs to be taken by itself, and Yoon Bum has to re-adjust himself and his shaking limbs before climbing further. After what feels like far too long, he makes it down. The concrete is smooth and cool on his hands and knees. It’ll bruise later, but he can move freely again. He knows where the handcuffs are. He remembers from when Sangwoo … used them on him, and used them on other people. On multiple occasions. He finds them sitting in the middle drawer of the brown oak cabinet, along with their key. The metal is cold from the chilly air of the basement. Yoon Bum shudders when he thinks about the weeks he spent laying on the ground with them chained to his wrists, mostly naked. He’d curled into a tight ball and shivered with cold for so long that eventually, it felt like his body had gone numb.

In the kitchen, Sangwoo is still lying on the floor, still breathing shallow breaths, still red in the face, his eyebrows still drawn in pain. He doesn’t seem to have moved from where Yoon Bum left him. A sick feeling sinks in Yoon Bum’s gut as he realizes what he’ll have to do next. He’s not sure if he even can do it, but he has to. There could be no possibility of Sangwoo’s escape. If he woke up before Yoon Bum had immobilized him, he would make sure Yoon Bum was begging for death long before he actually-

Yoon Bum forces himself to take a deep breath. That won’t happen. I won’t let that happen.

On the other side of the room is a firm metal bar on the floor. Sangwoo sometimes chained Yoon Bum to it and. Yoon Bum doesn’t like to think about the things he’d done there. Sangwoo is sick, he reminds himself. It’ll never happen again. He looks at Sangwoo’s body. He had to be at least 200 pounds. Dread paralyzes him for a brief moment as he considers what he has to do, but he has to act, soon, and he knows it. Every second he wastes is a second closer to when Sangwoo would wake up, and Sangwoo had to be chained when that happened.

He starts by chaining Sangwoo’s hands together. He picks up one of his arms, and Sangwoo groans and twitches. Yoon Bum nearly drops the cuffs in animal terror, but he forces himself to snap them around his wrists, locking them off. Even picking up his arms is a bit of a challenge, they’re so heavily muscled. Yoon Bum knows that Sangwoo lifts weights regularly, when he’s not doing bodyweight workouts around the house, and eats protein supplements and shakes so he can build even more muscle up. He’d hated watching Sangwoo exercise, knowing he was getting even stronger and stronger, knowing how much he used those muscles to overpower others. He’d hated feeling powerless to stop him. But he doesn’t feel much better now, as he feebly lifts the dead weight of Sangwoo’s arms. And now came the truly hard part.

Yoon Bum positions himself behind Sangwoo and wraps his arms around his chest. Sangwoo feels warm and solid. Maybe warmer than usual. Yoon Bum wonders if he has a fever. Hopefully not. He’d deal with that later. He takes a deep breath and pulls Sangwoo towards the bar with all his strength. He moves him a scant few inches. Sangwoo groans again and his eyes flutter shut. Quickly, quickly, faster, please…

Not for the first time, Yoon Bum hates how pathetic he is. Like a bird, his classmates had said. Like a girl, his uncle had said. Not enough power to pull Sangwoo’s unconscious, heavily muscled body across the floor without more frantic, panicked, panting breaks than he wanted to risk. He pulls him again and again, stopping only when his lungs feel like they’ll burst from his chest. Lactic acid burns in his muscles and he fights to stay calm enough to keep working. Almost there, one more time, one more, again, again-

His back hits the bar, finally, and his body relaxes with relief. His throat burns from wheezing and his arms feel like rubber as he clumsily unlocks one of the cuffs don’t wake up don’t wake up and pulls Sangwoo’s arms around to lock him in place. And then he snaps it shut.

Done. Safe.

Yoon Bum crawls just out of Sangwoo’s reach and collapses on the floor. He stares at the floor, panting wildly, and closes his eyes. Regret starts to creep in, but he’s able to push it away. He’s making progress. The next parts would be incredibly hard – if this was the physical challenge, the next part would be the psychological challenge, steeling himself against Sangwoo’s guaranteed impotent rage. It would be painful, but the next part… Sangwoo loving him, Sangwoo learning to love himself… it would be worth it.

He doesn’t know how much time passes before he’s startled out of his thoughts by the sound of a metal clink. His thoughts still and his stomach drops. Quietly, he takes a deep breath to steel himself.

“Bum.”

Yoon Bum sits up and looks at Sangwoo. His cheeks are flushed, his eyes a bit unfocused, but he’s looking much better than he did when he passed out.

“You did this?” He jiggles his wrists for emphasis. Yoon Bum nods, and Sangwoo laughs. “Should have seen that coming, shouldn’t I?”

Yoon Bum doesn’t respond. He and Sangwoo look at each other. Yoon Bum can practically see Sangwoo trying to figure his way out of this. It’s almost funny, until Yoon Bum realizes that this was probably something close to how Sangwoousually felt, after he’d brought someone home to kill.

“Bum, honey, why don’t you get me the key?”

Did he honestly think that would work? Yoon Bum unconsciously looks at the key-

And Sangwoo’s eyes follow.

Ah. Fuck.

Yoon Bum gets up and gets the key off the counter where he’d left it. He gets on his chair and wheels out of the room.

Sangwoo laughs. “Oh, come on, baby, why do you gotta be like that?”

He nestles it in the bathroom cabinet. He knows that Sangwoo is listening to him, but at least he’s put it out of Sangwoo’s line of sight.

When he comes back, Sangwoo is still smiling like a wolf.

“No chance you’ll let me out without a fight, is there?”

Yoon Bum shakes his head.

“So what are you planning to do with me? Cut me up? Beat me? Rape me?”

“No.”

“Then what?”

“Help you.”

Sangwoo’s eyes widen for a second, then the calm mask comes back. But his voice isn’t so even anymore.

“Help me with what?”

“You need help, Sangwoo.”

“I need help? Me?”

“You need to stop hurting people.”

“And how do you fit into that, Bum? You’re going to help me? Teach me the meaning of love?” Yoon Bum feels this going somewhere dangerous. His confidence wavers. “But I already love you, Bum.”

Yoon Bum shakes his head. Sangwoo doesn’t mean it. He would, soon, but not yet. It’s a trick. Yoon Bum would have to work to make those words true.

“Why don’t you let me out, Bum?”

“No.”

“Bum. I’m serious, let me out.”

“No.”

Sangwoo tugs at the bars harshly, making Yoon Bum flinch. His calm mask is gone, and his face contorts into something ugly and feral.

“You think I can’t get out on my own? You think I didn’t build a flaw into this bar that you were too stupid to figure out? I’m giving you a fucking out, Bum. Let me out now and I won’t make you wish you were dead.”

Yoon Bum takes a deep, grounding breath. “Then why don’t you?”

Sangwoo seems baffled by the question, then furious. “Because I’m giving you a fucking out, stupid faggot whore, can’t you fucking hear? I can break out of these any fucking time I want to!” Sangwoo pulls against the bar over and over in a way that hardly lends his words any credibility.

But Yoon Bum is shaken. He knows that Sangwoo is lying. He knows that he’s bluffing, and pulling every card that he can to try and manipulate his way out of this. He knows that, but he can’t stop wondering.

This is Sangwoo’s house. Sangwoo knows it in and out. There could be any number of secret passages or hidden boxes of … tools, or all kinds of other things, that Yoon Bum knew nothing about. Yoon Bum had Sangwoo chained up, but does he know that he’s rendered him harmless? He doesn’t, he realizes slowly. He has no idea what Sangwoo is actually capable of, and what’s just empty threats.

Yoon Bum gets on his chair. He knows what he needs to do. He ignores Sangwoo’s foul calls after him. They aren’t important. He has a mission. He has to make Sangwoo harmless for good, he has to completely remove his ability to hurt.

We’ll be matching. Two halves of a whole. We’ll heal together from the wounds we gave each other.

Yoon Bum is both comforted and terrified by his thoughts, but he’s finding it easier to focus on the comfort. This would be painful and unpleasant for both of them, but in the end, they would be so much happier together. Part of him reels at the thought of hurting Sangwoo any more than he already has, but a larger part of him is sold on the promise of their success.

In the basement, the sledgehammer is still leaning against the wall. Yoon Bum finds it, drags it up the stairs. He gets back on his chair and sets it on his lap.

Sangwoo is waiting for him when he comes back. He looks at the sledgehammer and his face drains of color.

“What the fuck is that?”

“You know what it is,” Yoon Bums says dully. Like when he poisoned the soup, he feels like he’s not himself anymore, but someone else watching from the outside.

Sangwoo’s jaw drops for a moment. He draws his legs up, sitting pretzel style. Did he really think Yoon Bum would start on his legs? Did he think Yoon Bum wanted revenge? How bizarre. Bum would have to ask later.

“Bum, don’t.”

“I have to.”

“You don’t. Listen. I was lying. I can’t make it out. I just wanted you to let me out.”

“I know you were, Sangwoo.”

“Listen. Listen to me. I love you. I’ll let you free. I’ll never leave you. We can get married. Please. I love you so much, don’t do this.” Sangwoo’s eyes look wild, but he keeps his voice steady. Yoon Bum wants to believe him, but he knows better.

“I’m not looking forward to this any more than you are, Sangwoo. Don’t draw it out.”

Sangwoo’s mask cracks and falls off, and his face contorts into something monstrous.

“I’ll get out. I’ll get out and I’ll fucking kill you. I’ve done things you can’t imagine. I’ll rip your eyes out and finger your brain through the holes, I’ll make you fucking choke on-“

You can do this. You can do this.

Yoon Bum watches himself raise the hammer.

“Don’t you fucking dare-“

He puts what little strength he can into the blow and lets it fall. The overpowering weight of the metal slams into Sangwoo’s flesh with a sickening sound, slapping and slick and crunchy at once. Sangwoo’s body jolts. His eyes roll back into his head as he lets out a blood-curdling scream. Yoon Bum’s stomach roils and he feels something sick and wet rise in his throat.

And for the other arm.

“Don’t.” Sangwoo’s voice is broken and pathetic.

“I have to.”

“No.”

He doesn’t protest more than that. He screams when his next arm is broken. His entire body spasms and his eyes roll back into his head, and he goes still. But breathing. Yoon Bum checks to make sure he’s still breathing before he rushes to the garbage can. He only makes it halfway before he retches thick, clear bile onto the floor. He feels like he’s having a heart attack. He feels with certainty that he’s going to die. He fucked up. Everything that led him here was a mistake, and what he’d just done was the worst mistake of them all. He can’t think rationally. All the things he’d assured himself of before seem useless, pointlessly theoretical in the face of this. He tries rocking softly, panting and willing the terror away. He wants things back the way they were before. The way they were before the poisoning, the way they were before he came here. Things were bad, but they made sense. Things were bad, but he knew how to survive.

With a cold, unshakable certainty, he thinks,

I’m going to die here.