Do they know if you wear silver or gold?
When they want to buy an engagement ring do they know what to choose?
Yes, without a doubt
Kaeya
Sneaky bastard is so sure about your preferred metal and style he only needs to figure out the gem. He already got the jeweler waiting for when he figures out your ring size
Has to check
Childe
He was truly just going to get two jewels that represent you two and whatever metal matched best but when his sisters heard the look of surprise they had made him stop on his plan. After much talk about how one of them almost left her boyfriend because she was given the wrong metal and the other almost accused her boyfriend of cheating he decided to be very ‘subtle’ but direct.
The next time he is at your home he asks to see your favorite ring/necklace. By that time you already guessed what would be his next question in a few days
Neuvillette
It's Furina who managed to make him confident enough to talk to you outside of an office setting, and to ask you to be his lover, and actually to ask you for marriage. Her poor back.
Most of the planning is due to her, be it the restaurant reservation or the little speech, now the only detail left was the ring. What she didn't expect was that as soon as she asked your preference he would be stiff as a stick and rain started outside.
Let's spend another hour trying to tell the big dragon that not being sure about it isn't a sin nor is he a crappy boyfriend
Diluc
He is sure he knows, he bought you many rings and earrings with that metal but he would rather make sure you love it than let his newly acquired fear that he might make a mistake choosing metals keep him up at night.
he snoops around the porcelain box in the vanity filled with necklaces and rings just to confirm. Maybe three or four times, just in case
No, in their eyes gold and silver jewelry is the exact same. Has to go change the ring last moment
Itto
For him the ring itself isn't that important so he would propose with a pop ring if it happened, but after saving for so long he manages to buy a modest ring his granny and Shinobu approved of.
If it isn't your color you could change it and he wouldn't notice until he puts your wedding band, and anyway he is doubting himself because he isn't really sure
Zhongli
He understands that when choosing clothes for someone their aesthetics and likings should come first but honestly when he starts planning the best engagement ring he forgot that little detail, too focused on having cor lapis for a good luck omen or a tiny engraved flower that represent undying love.
Just forgive him this once. If it makes you feel better the ring itself is both silver and gold intertwined so he is about 50% right?
mf does a color analysis on you to see which is better before the idea of checking your other jewelry
Kaveh
Even if he doesn't have a lot of money, he keeps a stylish and clean appearance and that extends to you, essentially playing dress up with you, layering fabrics of different weight and color, playing with different region’s styles, so when he starts dragging you to try jewelry it wasn't strange.
Even if he gets it wrong he defends himself saying that it's the most flattering on you
Albedo
He might not be too interested in fashion matters but he heard you talk about seasonal colors and undertones and, after a 3 week long intensive exam, he came to the conclusion.
By the time he has the ring he figured he could have just asked you.
What you two found on an adventure is now your engagement ring
Beidou
The idea to propose only came to her mind when her crew was digging around a treasure they found at sea, the pearls, golden coins and different gems spilled over the floor, one of her crew grabbed a showy ring and acted as if he was proposing to his friend.
That caused her to howl at them while laughing “ Getting married before your capitan? Aren't you two gutsy?” And she chugs her beer. Next morning as they arrive to voyage and she stands close to you her whole crew starts whistling and yelling to show them the ring.
Bennett
(he is doing his best)
His dads often tease him about getting big and already having a lover. Even as he tries to escape his embarrassment he gets trapped in the arms of his fathers and told stories of their youth.
When one of them mentions proposing to his late wife with a ring he found in a chest, it particularly stuck with him, when you ask them why bennett has been adventuring so much lately they just smile as if it was an inner joke.
Honorable mentions
Wanderer
Be it the teachers of his classes, classmates, the dancers of the grand bazaar or even lesser lord kusanali everyone wore golden jewelry or accessories, EVEN HIMSELF! Don't blame him too much when if he defaults to gold for anything
Alhaitham
He proposes to your privately and the next morning he takes you ring shopping to make sure you love it and can make adjustments for your ring size and add or take away anything that isn't quite perfect in your eyes before the announcement to your friends.
Insist it's because he wanted this to be a bonding moment but you got the lightest idea he just didn't want to risk it being wrong
458 notes
·
View notes
An Ill-Timed Confession
Pairing: Peter Pan x fem!reader (kinda)
Summary: You tell Henry about your romantic feelings towards Peter Pan. Unfortunately for you, he turns out not to be Henry.
The citizens of Storybrooke gathered in Granny’s diner to celebrate. Most wore big jovial smiles and talked excitedly to their companions. You took note of the absolute happiness that seemed to radiate from David and Mary Margret. Nevertheless, their daughter was uneasy, as if she half expected the Pied Piper himself to waltz through the doors and rip her son’s heart out.
You felt sorry for Emma’s needless worrying, but understood where it stemmed from. After all, many restless nights would have to be endured before you forgot Pan’s threats in Neverland, not that you wanted to forget every single comment of his just yet. You pushed that particular thought back deep in your mind where it would have to be reconsidered later. You chose to focus on more trivial matters.
Hook was seated at the bar, drinking with the boisterous dwarves. It didn’t escape your notice how often his gaze flickered between the Savior and her ex-boyfriend; Neal left his place beside Henry to chat with Mother Superior. You eyed the pirate’s ill-natured manner with interest when Ruby interrupted your musings of his unfortunate predicament by placing a steaming mug of apple cider on the counter.
You accepted the hot beverage, maneuvering your way through the crowded restaurant and slid into the booth to sit across from Henry. His attention was directed to the storybook in front of him. Even upside down, you recognized the illustration of Cinderella dancing at the ball with her prince. Henry glanced up, seeming apprehensive at your arrival, he tensed for some strange reason. His fingers tapped the edge of the smooth paper.
You offered him a reassuring smile. It would be reasonable for his nerves to be a bit frayed after his harrowing adventure. You blew on your drink and asked in a quiet tone, “How’re you holding up?”
“Good. It’s good to be back here with my family.”
You nodded your head in agreement. That was the understatement of the year. The distress and danger he went through the past few days must have been unimaginable. People often said kids were resilient, however, it was odd how unfazed Henry was at being reunited with his loving family. Odder still was his cold and distant attitude towards you. This was the first genuine conversation you two had exchanged since his capture. It was unlike him to keep to himself for so long.
You were close friends and confidants. It was worrisome for Henry to be this reserved around you. What had happened in Neverland that would have caused such an abrupt change? The next second, you berated yourself for such a thought, having one’s heart torn out would have drastic mental consequences. It was possible he wasn’t comfortable discussing his feelings yet. On the other hand, it would be harmful if he kept them bottled up inside his mind to fester.
The best course of action was to respect his silence and hope in time he would open up. You took another sip of cider while Henry went back to reading. The message was clear; he had no interest in talking any further. The temptation to leave was strong, but you remained in your seat. There was a question you were desperate for Henry to answer, the sooner the better. You blurted out, “What was he like?”
He glanced at you again. “Who?”
“Peter Pan. What was he like? I only met him a handful of times on the island, and he was pretty intimidating. How did he act around you? I mean, Pan was deranged, how’d he manage to convince you to give up your heart?”
Henry shrugged and flipped a page before replying. “He told me magic was dying and my heart was needed to save it. I believed him. And he was…” Henry shivered a little. “He was scary. I’m glad he’s gone.”
You propped your elbows on the table and rested your chin in the palm of your hand, waiting for him to elaborate. He didn’t. Henry reached for his glass of root beer, refusing to utter one more word. You sighed, “Too bad he was a psychopath. Pan was kinda hot.”
Henry spat out his drink, spewing the soft drink all over the table and its contents. You grabbed a handful of napkins and dabbed them on the storybook. “Henry, be careful you almost ruined it!” Emma paused speaking to her parents and shot you both a quizzical look. You waved the wet napkins at her, signaling everything was fine, only a little spill had happened.
“What did you say?” Henry wasn’t the least bit concerned about the precious book. His eyes were wide and his mouth somewhat agape.
“I know, I know, he was a murderer and evil and wanted to kill all of us. But in my defense, he was attractive.”
Henry said nothing for a solid minute, and stared at you as if an extra head had grown from your neck. You were beginning to worry that the poor boy’s brain had broken upon hearing your staggering statement.
As the seconds ticked by you began to regret saying your astonishing confession aloud. Your attraction to Pan was something you had been grappling with ever since laying eyes on him.
You shamed yourself for feeling this way toward such a revolting person, but that would not dampen them. During the adventure, it had been eating you alive from the inside out.
The rest of the group had been debating over the best way to save Henry, how to rescue Neal, and the complications of getting off the Island. Meanwhile, you had been battling the guilt of being enamored with your best friend’s captor.
Near the end of the journey, you made peace with this upsetting fact by realizing you could acknowledge Pan’s attractiveness and still hate his guts for kidnapping Emma’s son.
Though the shock on Henry’s face made you question the wisdom of admitting this so soon after the terrible ordeal. You were on the brink of explaining your more nuanced views to him on this delicate subject when his expression changed.
The corners of his lips turned upward in a disbelieving smirk as he raised one eyebrow in wonderment. He said in a soft voice, almost to himself, “You… like Pan?”
The grin spread wider across his face and he covered his mouth with a hand to muffle the sound of his laughter. His body shook in a fit of merriment. He pointed a finger at you; his eyes contained a mocking glint which was quite foreign to them. “You have a crush on Pan!”
You were uncomfortable at his reaction, but believed it was somewhat deserved. Gesturing to him to lower his voice, you attempted to hobble together a defense. “Not really a crush per say, I–”
Henry interrupted, “That’s so gross. He's– he’s Rumpelstiltskin's dad!”
“That’s true, but it just makes me wonder whether or not Mr. Gold was that good looking in his younger days,” you joked.
He shuddered at that remark and twisted his features into one of disgust. “Ew, I’ll never understand girls.” Puzzled at your stance on his villainous great grandfather, Henry probed, “Why did you like him?”
“Like is a strong word. I didn’t like him. He was gonna kill us all for Pete’s sake, but I did observe that Pan was blessed… genetically speaking.”
A mischievous air hung about Henry as he inched forward in his seat, tilting his head close to yours, and whispered in a low tone. “Tell me, do you fantasize about Peter Pan?”
Your mouth dropped open at his blunt question. You replied in a strained voice, “Henry, that’s a very inappropriate thing to ask.” What on earth had possessed him to say that?
Moments earlier, he was repulsed at the prospect of you harboring secret feelings for Pan and now he was inquiring whether or not you fantasize about his relative!
It was your turn for your brain to stop working. Henry had never, never asked you such a personal question in all your years of friendship. This was most unlike him.
Was there a chance he had bashed his head on a rock somewhere to justify this sudden change of personality? He leaned back into the booth. “That alone gives me my answer.”
Before you could chastise him for his nauseatingly smug attitude, Emma sauntered next to the table. “Sorry to break up the chit chat, kid, it’s time for something you didn’t have in Neverland. Bedtime.”
Henry closed his book, disappointed for having to leave so soon. You were quite relieved; however, sensing Henry was having far too much fun with this knowledge at his fingertips. You were too stunned at your friend’s responses to see he had left with Regina and not Emma.
That conversation had left a bad taste in your mouth. Something wasn’t right with Henry and it made you uneasy. Regret at having confessed your passing fancy towards Peter Pan seeped through you. It could be that this Neverland escapade still had a few loose ends that needed to be tied up.
You help David and Emma cover Mother Superior's body with a blanket. You shoved your trembling fingers in your coat’s pockets. Your eyes darted up to the sky and scanned for any sign of the one who did this. You didn’t feel safe. At any moment you could meet the same fate as well. The danger was lurking around the corner and–
“What the hell happened?”
You jumped slightly as Regina and Henry raced up to your group.
David answered her. “The shadow, it killed her.”
“Pan’s shadow? I trapped it on the sail.” Regina was confused.
“Yeah, well, it got free.” Emma said while crouching on the steps.
Comprehension dawned on everyone as they realized what that meant. Pan was back. You moved to Henry and wrapped your arms around him in a protective gesture. All thoughts of last night's events flew from your mind.
If Pan was somehow controlling the Shadow from inside the box, then he would never stop terrorizing them until he had the Truest Believer’s Heart. Henry was going to die. The adults discussed what to do as you patted Henry on the head.
The boy said in a hollow voice, “So Pan can still hurt me?”
Regina responded to comfort him, “We don’t know that.” You knew it was inevitable he did though.
“But we have to assume he’s still a threat.” Mary Margret clasped her hands together in worry.
You added, “And that he’s after Henry.”
“Then what am I doing here?” Henry wriggled out of your grasp, looking anxious.
David said, “He’s right. He’s not safe out in the open.”
“You’ll protect me, right?” He hugged Regina as she consoled him.
You were put off at how easily he disregarded you in favor of his mother. It was like he didn’t even acknowledge your presence. But of course, it was natural for a son to turn to his mom in his time of need.
You stopped scolding yourself when you overheard Emma tell Regina that Henry didn’t seem like himself. Your feelings of unease felt vindicated now if she was aware that her son was acting a bit different. It made your head spin; what could it mean?
After convincing Mr. Gold to give up Pandora’s Box, you all drove to the edge of Storybrooke. You huddled close to Mary Margret and David, watching the red smoke swirl out of the box.
It transformed into Pan, and Emma cocked her gun. Pan stood up, breathing hard, he acted confused, and dumbfounded to see everyone's mistrustful faces. You had to admit, he was a good actor. You couldn’t believe the next words that popped out of his mouth.
“Mum?”
Emma was also taken aback. “What?”
“What are you waiting for? Shoot him,” Gold ordered.
Pan panicked. “Don’t! Please! I’m Henry. Pan, he switched our bodies.”
“You expect me to believe that?” Emma continued pointing the gun at him.
You didn’t know what to think of this situation. You wanted to trust him. It would explain Henry's peculiar actions. The other, more cynical part, of your brain was reprimanding yourself for entertaining the outlandish idea.
Pan was a master manipulator, capable of slaughtering you and your loved ones in a millisecond if it benefitted him. He toyed with people’s minds and reveled in the horrible game of it. Your sympathetic side excused that truth when seeing Pan’s face. He was hurt and betrayed. Henry, you were sure it was him, needed a friend.
You almost took a step over the red line when Gold stopped you with his cane and said, “Don’t listen to him. This is one of his tricks.”
Pan/Henry was adamant. “No, it’s not! He did it right before Mr. Gold captured me in the box. I swear!” He stepped forward, but Emma stopped him.
Holding one hand out, she commanded, “Don’t come any closer.” Mr. Gold ordered her to shoot him again. She didn’t. “Maybe he is telling the truth. Maybe that’s why I can’t shake this feeling something’s off about Henry.” Mr. Gold argued with her, but Emma asked Pan to prove his claim.
He started listing facts about Henry. They weren’t persuaded by this. Emma stated, “Pan might know facts. But life is made up of more than that. There are moments. He can’t possibly know all of them. The first time you and I connected, you remember that? Not met, but connected.”
Pan’s face softened at the happy memory. He told her the conversation they had at his castle right after she came to Storybrooke. Emma lowered her gun and embraced him. “It is Henry.”
She released him and they crossed the line into Storybrooke. Henry hugged his grandparents and you soon followed. He enveloped you in a bone crushing hug which you returned with equal joy at having your friend back. It was a little weird since every sense told you this was to all intents and purposes Peter Pan. You pulled back to examine him.
Staring into his green eyes, you squished his cheeks. “This is so surreal.” You tapped his nose. “You really look like him, ya know.” Henry laughed, a delightful but bizarre sound coming from Pan’s throat. It was too innocent.
The full impact of what was happening hit you. You retreated a couple of paces from your friends, and hid your face as mortification overcame your entire being. “Oh no.”
“What’s wrong?” Henry put a comforting hand on your shoulder.
Your face felt ablaze. If Pan was Henry, that meant… “I might’ve– I didn’t know it was him!”
Mr. Gold urged you to go on. “Yes? What is it?”
You gulped as they came closer. “Last night at Granny’s, I told Henry— who I thought was Henry— that Pan was hot.”
Both David and Mary Margret closed their eyes in exasperation. Emma stared at you, questioning your sanity. Bell grinned, and to your surprise, Mr. Gold was unbothered by this. “How tragic. However, we have larger problems that must be dealt with other than your lack of taste.”
“Do you think he’ll do anything to me for saying that to him?” You asked Henry. He had smirked at your confession, which made your heart beat faster at the sight. You wanted to slap yourself for that reaction. Now he frowned at your inquiry.
“I don’t know. Pan might not care or he might target you because of it. Don’t worry about it. We’ll stop him.”
You climbed into the truck’s backseat. The sinking sensation settled in your stomach despite Henry reassuring you everything would turn out for the better. Peter Pan had a plan and it would lead to everyone’s ruin. Your only hope was that he wasn’t concocting a special method of torture for you since laying open your abashed feelings towards him.
(The previous night)
In the body of his grandson, Pan walked arm-in-arm with Regina down the sidewalk to her home. It was loathsome having to humor the woman while she talked to who she believed was her son. He answered her relentless questions to the best of his ability, keeping his replies vague and unassuming.
She didn’t seem to heed his noncommittal responses. He was impatient for this part of his scheme to be done. He restrained his strong desire to kill her this instant because he had to find her vault first. Pan distracted himself from that impulse by thinking of what you had told him.
It would be beyond humiliating for you when you found out the truth. He couldn’t wait to see your gobsmacked expression when he revealed his true identity, and made Storybrooke into the New Neverland.
Peter Pan would make you regret ever spilling your secrets to him. He was eager to make you into his new plaything, to see how long it took you to cry, to break. He wondered how far over the edge he could drive you. Grateful for the limited light, he allowed a cruel, sadistic smile to form on his lips. This was all too perfect and pleasurable for him.
151 notes
·
View notes
comfort & chaos | carmy berzatto x fem!reader | chapter three: heat waves
summary: after a bad date, you find yourself on carmy's doorstep. (the five times carmen berzatto fell in love with you a little and the one time he finally told you)
warnings: so much pining you may be entitled to compensation after reading this, swearing, no use of y/n, she/her pronouns, drinking & smoking, suggestive language, mentions of covid-19, eventual smut.
word count: 3.5k
listen to: i like me better - lauv | ceilings - lizzy mcalpine | heat waves - glass animals (i'm sorry but this song invented sexual tension. full stop.) better than i know myself - del water gap
read: chapter two
“sometimes all I think about is you, late nights in the middle of june…” (heat waves – glass animals)
*
June 2021
You: Hey, I’m in your neighborhood. You around?
Carmy: Yeah, what’s up?
You: Want some company?
Carmy: 👍
You: Heading your way.
Carmy: It started raining. Be careful.
You: I noticed. Thanks, dad.
Carmy: 🙄
You’re not ready to go home yet as you head towards Carmy’s apartment. You’re not sure why you thought it was a good idea to download a dating app the other week… and you’re trying your best not to read into the fact that your first thought was to reach out to Carmy. Hesitant to tell him, you figure you’ll just surprise him by showing up like this – all dressed up.
It’s not like he’s your boyfriend. He probably won’t even notice, you think to yourself.
You hope he just doesn’t say anything – so that you don’t have to tell him you were on a date – but as soon as the torrential downpour starts, there’s no way he won’t say anything. You're only a block and a half away, so you decide to power through, storm be damned.
“Woah,” he says, as soon as he opens the door.
“‘Looks like you got caught in the rain’ woah, or…like a ‘you look overdressed’ kinda woah?” you ask back, your hair beginning to drip on the carpet.
“Both?” he offers up, trying his best to make it seem like he’s not checking you out. “You’re uh… fancy.”
“Yeah…” you trail off, not sure how much you’re going to reveal. It’s just not something you’ve really talked about yet and you’re ambivalent about how he may react. Hell, you’re ambivalent about how you feel about it too.
But Carmy hasn’t invited you in yet either, blocking your pathway as he tries not to make it blatantly obvious that he’s gawking at you. “I uh… sort of had a date.”
“Oh,” he mutters, before stepping aside to invite you in.
He takes a beat, watching you carefully as you enter his apartment.
“How’d it go?” he asks, hesitantly.
“Uh… not great,” you admit, with a shrug. “But I’m not sure what I expected either. Can I borrow some clothes?”
“Oh! Yeah sure,” he nods, hurrying into his bedroom.
Carmy mentally scolds himself for even asking. Would you really be here on his doorstep if it had gone well? He knows the answer, but what feels unfamiliar is the tight feeling that’s lodged itself in his chest.
He wonders when you started dating. It’s not like you’d said anything about it to him. It’s not like you owed it to him to say anything either. Were you on those apps he couldn’t seem to wrap his head around? Or maybe one of those investment banker fuckos that had come into the restaurant a few weeks ago. He’d been this close to burning the whole place down when he noticed one of them practically undressing you with their eyes as you’d walked by from your visit with another table.
Carmy returns to you with a pair of sweatpants and one of his pristine white t-shirts, his eyes fixed on you as you remove your shoes. The kitchen overhead is the only light that’s on, leaving most of the apartment lit only by the TV. You can see a few cigarette butts that have been aimlessly thrown across the ashtray he keeps on his coffee table, and you know he’s been smoking tonight.
“Pasta Grannies?” is all you ask, gesturing towards the TV.
“Yeah,” he nods. It’s as if he’s just remembered that he’s holding a dry pair of clothes for you, a look of panic plastered on his face. “Shit. I forgot. Here.”
“Thanks, Carm,” you say, taking them and disappearing into the bathroom for a quick change.
You examine your reflection in the mirror as you wring the excess water from your hair right into the sink. You take your time, tying your hair into a bun over the top of your head, immediately feeling at ease now that you’re here with him. While most of your makeup is gone, swept away by the rain, you feel much more like yourself in a pair of Carmy’s sweatpants that you ever felt in a fancy dress on that date. You hang your very wet dress over the shower curtain rod in Carmy’s bathroom to dry, before opening the door to rejoin him in the living room.
Carmy’s returned to the couch, his feet kicked up on the outside of the couch as he stretches out across it.
“Much better,” you comment, making your way towards him.
You settle into the couch with Carmy, curled up apart on opposite sides of the couch. It’s a comfortable pattern you’ve fallen into: hanging out, watching movies till 3 am while he smokes a few cigarettes to unwind from the day. You like this rhythm. And you like that it’s with him.
As another episode of Pasta Grannies begins, Carmy’s mind continues to race. He’s wracking his brain for any excuse to bring it up again – this whole, you dating thing.
He searches your face for any kind of in. He’s not sure what he’s looking for: a furrowed brow, a sigh of frustration, a look of dissatisfaction? Something he can ask about so that you’ll tell him more about your night. But as he examines you closely, trying his best to get a read on you, iit seems as if you’ve forgotten all about it, comfortably curled up on his shitty $50 dollar couch that he’d found at Goodwill.
“So… what was so bad about this date?” he finally manages to get out, surprising you.
You shrug, carelessly, “Men suck.”
Your answer makes him chuckle as he agrees with a, “Yeah, we do.”
You’re honestly surprised that he’s asking. You and Carmy had never really talked about dating – save for a few stories about your exes here and there. You got the impression that Carmy hadn’t dated a lot at all, nor did he seem all that interested in dating. At least that’s what you’ve figured, considering you spend all of your time together and he’s not once tried to make a move.
“Uh…” you start, figuring you’ll elaborate since he’s taken such an interest. “Just… not great conversationalist. The guy spent half the night trying to convince me that cryptocurrency was worth investing in and uh… I don’t know. Just wasn’t there for me, I guess.”
“What?”
“You know… that spark, I guess.”
And he does. He feels it every single time you look at him with your ‘you’re totally pissing me off and I hate how endearing it is’ look. He feels it on the rare occasion that he makes you laugh. Every time he makes you a new dish he’s working on and you tell him how annoying it is that he’s this damn good.
“Yeah, no I uh-. Sounds like it’d be important,” he offers up, suddenly feeling out of his league. It’s not like he can commiserate or agree with you from experience.
“You uh… wanna watch something else?” you ask him, quickly changing the subject.
“Sure, yeah,” he replies, tossing you the remote.
“Thank you,” you smile at him as you take it.
You begin scrolling through his smart TV’s apps, searching for a movie to put on in the background. The sounds of the rain falling harder and harder against his apartment windows fill his ears since nothing is playing in the background just yet. He doesn’t remember hearing about a storm, but it must’ve come on unexpectedly.
Carmy watches you as you explore your options, and he feels like his heart is going to explode out of his chest at the thought of some asshat sitting here on this couch with you – someone that’s not him. He swallows, suddenly aware that he’s clenching his fist. He relaxes it, beginning to fidget with a spare key chain that lays on the coffee table.
“You end up calling your brother?” you question, in reference to the last conversation you’d had about his Mikey.
You’d encouraged him to call, even though it seemed like Michael had been in touch lately.
“Yeah,” he sighs, disappointedly. “Didn’t pick up.”
“Sorry,” you sympathize, giving him an apologetic smile.
You decide on the first John Wick film when you learn that Carmy’s never seen it. You insist that it’s a classic and he tells you something along the lines of ‘that’s something my cousin would say.’ As the movie rolls on, you stretch your legs out, curling them in towards the back of the couch, while Carmy relaxes, taking up the space of the couch on the outside of you.
“I can’t believe you like this!” Carmy exclaims, gesturing towards the graphic depiction of violence on the TV. You watch Michael Nyqvist’s character shoot Willem Dafoe’s character multiple times, completely unphased, as he searches your face for any kind of emotional reaction.
“What?! Being a woman in a male dominated industry… I’ve found that watching action movies brings a sort of… catharsis to me,” you defend yourself playfully.
“So what you’re saying is… I’m sitting across from a psychopath?” he jokes, crossing his arms over his chest. “That’s great.”
“Yeah,” you reply, matter of factly.
Carmy laughs dryly, his eyes flickering back to you. Your face, lit only by the dim cool hues of the television screen, seems more beautiful than ever. He wonders where the hell that thought came from, brushing it off like it’s nothing. Taking a more teasing tone, he lifts his head to ask:
“And how many times have you fantasized about doing that to me?”
You smirk, shaking your head as you reply, “You don’t want to know.”
He rolls his eyes playfully, letting out the smallest chuckle, before settling back into his spot on the couch. You laugh once again, enjoying this way more than your fancy dinner date.
You’re not sure how you’ve both managed to fall asleep in the midst of an action movie, but when you finally come to, you’re halfway through the second John Wick film and Carmy’s fast asleep. Your phone’s managed to fall on the floor, and you have to lean over Carmy’s legs to grab it.
“Shit what time is it?” he stirs, peeking an eye open as you lean over his feet, reaching for your phone. He finds the TV remote right next to him, hitting the pause button.
“Uh… 2 am,” you answer, sleepily, beginning to sit up. “I should probably go.”
“No, I’m not gonna make you uh-… you wanna take the bed?” he asks, mirroring your body language and sitting up with you too.
“Oh! No, it’s okay. I’m comfy right here,” you reply, returning to your spot on the couch.
“You sure?” he asks.
“Yeah,” you reassure him.
“Okay uh…” he says, making his way up to his feet. “... let me get you a pillow and a blanket.”
“Thanks.”
It’s not that you wouldn’t take the bed, but you’d hate to kick him out of his own bed. And truthfully? You can’t stand the fact that he doesn’t even have a bed frame.
That’s right.
The man sleeps on a mattress on the floor.
As Carmy returns to you, pillow and thick comforter in hand, the only sounds that fill the room are the storm outside. You watch as he gently places the pillow down on the couch for you, and you thank him as you take the comforter, laying it across the couch.
The sounds of a low rumble of thunder fill your ears and you can feel the way the sound reverberates off of Carmy’s apartment.
“You sure you don’t want to take the bed?” Carmy asks you, running a tattooed hand through his messy curls.
“I’m sure,” you reply confidently.
“Okay,” he resigns himself. “Need anything else?”
Just you.
“No, Goodnight, Carmy,” you say, with a soft smile on your face.
“Goodnight,” he replies, with the slightest wave.
Carmy leaves you for his bedroom, closing the door behind him. You slide underneath the thick comforter he’s given you, closing your eyes in an attempt to lure yourself back into another slumber.
But it’s not so easy to fall asleep this time.
It’s funny… thinking about Carmy being in the next room. It’s not like you hadn’t fallen asleep together on the couch before. In fact, you’d napped on the couch with each other multiple times. And nothing had ever happened. You’d just slept. You wonder if you should’ve taken the bed. Should’ve told him to grow up and that you were both adults who could sleep in the same bed together without things getting weird. Unless…
All of a sudden, your mind is invaded with flashes of a fantasy: your fingers tangled in his perfect curls, his lips on yours, the way his body would feel on top of yours as you writhe underneath him…
Holy fuck. What are you thinking?! You and Carmy are just friends. Carmy doesn’t feel that way about you and you don’t feel that way about him, you think to yourself, snapping yourself out of the vision.
You go over the facts in your head, in an attempt to calm yourself down. You’ve been here before. He’s never made a move on you. You’ve never made a move on him.
You’re just friends.
Maybe you just need a cold glass of water… or a cold shower…
As you sit up to get a glass of water, you let out the smallest gasp as Carmy’s bedroom door swings open. He stands there, staring at you with unwavering eye contact – one of those long languid looks that used to think meant he hated you.
For a moment, then tension is thick. You hear another crack of thunder that shakes the floor as a bright flash of lightning from outside electrifies every molecule inside of his apartment. If anything were to happen between the two of you, it had to be now, right?
“Water,” is all he says.
“What?” you ask, trying your best to hide your surprise that that’s all he said.
“I-, I forgot water,” he stammers out, beelining for the kitchen. “Do you want some?”
“Yeah, thanks,” you reply as you rise to your feet.
You follow him into the kitchen area, maintaining your distance as you watch him fill up two glasses of water. You’re not sure what’s come over you tonight, but there’s something different inside of you. As he hands you the glass of water he’s filled for you, you could swear he gives you the most wistful look you’ve ever seen, making it impossible not to get lost in how blue his eyes are.
“You okay?” he asks you when you don’t take the glass of water.
Calm down, you think to yourself.
“Yeah, sorry. Just tired,” you whisper, finally taking the glass from him.
And just when you think this is all in your head and that Carmy’s going to return to his bedroom with a second thought about it, he doesn’t. He just stands there in the middle of the kitchen with you. He doesn’t take a sip of his water. He stays, his eyes fixed on you as the storm outside rages on, another crack of thunder ricocheting through the apartment.
It’s much louder this time – the loud booms and cracks of thunder alternating with brilliant flashes of lightning.
Carmy opens his mouth to say something as the room is temporarily lit by another flash, but he can’t figure out what to say either. It’s just the two of you, holding glasses of water in your hands, trying your fucking best not to drop them as you stare at each other. He doesn’t know what he’d even say to you:
You’re irresistible when you wear my clothes.
I’m holding onto this glass of water so tightly it may shatter.
I think I might love you.
But he doesn’t say anything.
Doesn’t do anything.
He doesn’t take a step towards you and you don’t either.
You hope he can’t hear the shaking in your voice as you say, “Goodnight, Carmy. And uh, thanks. For the water.”
“Yeah,” he whispers, your words snapping him out of his head.
“Goodnight.”
*
As you wake the next morning, you can’t figure out what the hell had gotten into you last night. You almost crossed the line with him – with Carmy, with your best friend – threatening everything you’ve built together. You’re relieved that you didn’t, that neither of you said anything, because the idea of this ending scares the hell out of you.
“How’d you sleep?” Carmy asks as he comes out of his bedroom, his curls unruly and all kinds of wild.
In the light of day, you know it would’ve been a stupid idea – what could’ve happened seeming more and more preposterous the longer you think about it.
“Not great, but I’ve had worse,” you answer honestly.
“Should’ve taken the bed,” he points out, an ‘I told you so’ on the tip of his tongue.
“Carmy,” you sigh, unwillingly.
“Hm?”
“Nothing,” you mutter with a shake of your head.
“No, what’s up?” he asks you, taking a few steps toward you. He’s not tall, but he towers over you as you remain seated on his couch. You rise to your feet so that you have a little ground to stand on as you muster up the courage to finally tell him.
“You need to get a bed frame. You’re a grown ass adult,” you demand, eliciting another dry laugh from him. You take a step towards him, closing some of the distance between the two of you. “And when that happens… I’ll take the bed.”
He shakes his head. He knows you’re right, and he can’t believe it’s taken this long for you to tell him.
“Heard, chef.”
It’s another few weeks before you let yourself go over to Carmy’s – partially because you like hanging out your place with him more, and partially because you’re terrified that whatever juju put those thoughts in your head that night may take you over again. But it doesn’t, and you’re more than pleasantly surprised to see that he’s purchased a bed frame. It’s nothing fancy – just bed slats and risers – but it’s a bed frame nonetheless.
“You ready?” Carmy asks you, as he’s just finished putting his shoes on.
“Yeah,” you reply, slipping off your jacket.
“There’s usually a ton of a/c in the shop. You might get cold?” he suggests.
The sight of your bare shoulders in the tank top you’re wearing causes his brain to short circuit for a second.
“Oh I know, but I like yours more,” you reply, reaching for one of his denim jackets that hangs on the coat hook.
He smiles, watching you slip into the jacket.
His jacket.
The one he let you borrow you the night he got promoted to CDC.
“Now I’m ready. What’re you gonna get by the way?” you ask curiously, in reference to the tattoo appointment you’re accompanying him to.
“Uh… was thinking like… a hand with a chef’s knife going through it. You know. On my hand,” he shares with you.
“You’re so weird,” you blurt out, even though you find it the most endearing.
He is. And yet, you’ve stuck around so far.
“Yeah, I am,” he chuckles to himself.
*
“He literally bought a bed for you!” Liz exclaims enthusiastically, one night after work.
“For himself,” you correct her in hushed tones, asking her to lower her voice.
“Uh no… for you. Because you told him to. And because he wants to get you in it… naked,” she replies. She lets out a frustrated groan before turning to you. “You know what me and Maya call you?”
“What?” you ask, bracing for whatever nickname she’s about to share with you.
“The Queen of Denial,” she says.
“What!?” you exclaim this time, defensively.
Liz chooses to ignore your response, knowing that your defensiveness comes from the fact that you know she’s right.
“Why are you going out on these dates with guys you don’t even like when Carmy is right there?” she asks you, pointing out the obvious.
“I-, I don’t know. I don’t get the sense that he’s interested in dating… anyone,” you admit, your voice softer this time.
“Well, have you asked him?” she states, as if she already knows the answer.
“We talked about it once,” you hesitate.
“Bullshit! The conversation about what Nate said doesn’t count!” she pushes you.
You sigh. There’s so much fear for you here: fear of losing him as your friend, fear of making yourself look like a fool, fear of letting Carmy love you.
Because it just feels safer not to acknowledge any of these things.
“I don’t know,” you admit, quietly. “After my last relationship I just… I don’t know if I'm ready, I guess. And then pandemic happened and it was a much welcomed break from dating. I didn’t expect… I didn’t think Carmy and I would get this close. I don’t want to fuck up what we have right now, you know? Dating other people feels like… lower stakes.”
Liz takes a moment to let you hear what you’ve just said, but with an unwavering determination, she’s not letting you off the hook.
“Sweetie, I love you. And I know you don’t want to get hurt again. But one of these days you are going to have to own up to what’s really going on between the two of you. Sooner rather than later. For all of our sakes,” she pleads.
She’s right.
You know she’s right.
But you’d also like getting to pretend, even for a little while.
Because pretending is easy… uncomplicated… and right now, it seems to work for both you and Carmy.
Fuck, you were fucked.
read chapter four
taglist: @allthefandomstogether @gaysludge @sobshoney @harrysmatcha @starbritestarlite @tpwkkmila @cool-girl-is-hot @nunya7394 @galaxyprincess51-blog @carmensberzattos @blue-weekends @the-nursery
716 notes
·
View notes