#griefbooks

[maryannwrites]

Grief Doesn't Have an Expiration Date

Enjoy this brief anecdote about a special lady and a special few hours I spent with her.

The other day I had a most delightful visit with my neighbor across the street. Before I talk about that, however, it might be good to give a little background on this particular neighbor. The neighborhood where I live is primarily populated with Spanish families, and many of the folks don’t speak very much English. That’s is true for this dear lady across the street. By the way, my Spanish is…

[authorcecelia]

Are you ready for this novel? ⁣. Because it'll be ready s o o n e r than I thought. ⁣. WAHOO! ⁣. Even though I wrote this manuscript in JUST a month, during NaNoWriMo 2015, it's probably the c l e a n e s t (editorially) than any other I've ever written. This means it won't need to go through as many rounds of editing, with various betas and a final-eyes' reader, as I'd planned (and kind of hoped for) (I thrive on feedback!). ⁣. I got my edits back from my very S W E E T substitute editor yesterday afternoon. ⁣. I was so nervous and SO excited to find out what she thought: ⁣. She l o v e d it. She said it was a beautiful tribute. (My heart.) She said she cried, and reading her kind words made me cry too. . This was not an easy manuscript that was easy to pull out and dust off, emotionally. . But I’m ready to share it now. . ⁣So this weekend I c a n ' t WAIT to accept her edits and her suggestions and finalize AN ILLUSION OF CONTROL for you. ⁣. Working with an editor is like taking a crash course in grammar and writing. I learn so much every time I get my edits back! ⁣. I leave you with these words from my soon-to-be novel. ⁣. "Fear overtakes me, and I wish I had a god to talk to, to pray to, someone bigger than Mom and the doctors to trust and ask to help. I wish I didn't feel so alone." ~ Cecelia Earl, AN ILLUSION OF CONTROL . #bookshelf #bookaholic #bookish #bookworm #bibliophile #bookstagram #coverdesign #coverlove #amediting #comingsoon #newrelease #yabookstagrammer #ireadya #yacontemporary #teenbooks #griefbooks #christianbookstagram #catholicfictionchallenge #catholicblogger #catholicfictionchallenge #readersofinstagram #readmorebooks #writersofinstagram #writingcommunity https://www.instagram.com/p/CF2LyEJAs3g/?igshid=1vqiof0q6p8hl

[blackberrycreekblog]

Today is the last day to order "The Other Side" for guaranteed delivery before Christmas! Feeling generous? Choose the Rainbow Option, and we'll donate one this holiday season as well! Link in bio or below! https://igg.me/at/theothersidestory/x/22442072#/ #petloss #rainbowbridge🌈 #animalheaven #animallovers #theotherside #petgrief #petlosssupport #missyou #dogheaven #catheaven #pigheaven #chickenheaven #blackberrycreek #griefbooksforkids #griefbooks #petlosshurts #petlossgifts https://www.instagram.com/p/B56dzOrn1Dp/?igshid=17c21p93v7g7a

[brytay1982]

Posted @withregram • @journey_to_wellness_ A page from my soon-to-be-released new book; Words of Comfort. You can pre-order yours now through the links in my bio, depending on where you are in the world. It’s out in Feb! Your resilience is bigger than your trauma 🌼 #griefbook #griefrecovery #traumaquotes #therapyresources #journeytowellness #wordsofcomfort #therapytips https://www.instagram.com/p/CYuPgYKrjwX/?utm_medium=tumblr

[blogpravinjadhav]

Affirmations To Overcome Grief 10 x Your Success By Downloading Special MP3 Version Of These Affirmations Its FREE! From Link Below…   https://dailyaffirmations.xfunnels.io   Download Free Spoken Positive Affirmations App https://goo.gl/dSsyMt #Grief #grieftip #grieftolife #griefawareness #griefstories #grieftourism #GriefSupportGroup #griefquote #griefreiki #griefdoesnotcontrolme #griefcoach #griefquotes #griefcare #griefline #griefandgoodhealth #grieffing #griefcounselor #grieftherapy #griefwriting #griefbook #griefisreal #griefvacation #GriefTalkTuesday #griefteatime #griefdiaries #griefandloss #griefandlosssupport #GriefCouch #griefjourney #griefisweird   https://www.instagram.com/p/BvgJgbPnZbK/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=m1at5tmg695c

[runawaywidow]

10 Best Grief Books After the Loss of a Loved One

10 Best Grief Books After the Loss of a Loved One

After my husband died, and the friends and family all went home or back to work, I was on my own to figure out how to be a widow. I wanted to find a book, the one that tells you what to do after your husband dies and how to deal with grief. Here are a few of the books that helped me move forward and not feel so alone in my grief journey.

“WE ARE A PARTICIPANT IN THE AMAZON SERVICES LLC…

[alexismariechute]

“An amazingly moving and emotional story that any woman―or any parent―can easily relate to.” ―Jennifer Hamilton, Editor, Canadian Family magazine 🌈 ❤️ Expecting Sunshine is a multi-award-winning memoir and a Kirkus Review BEST INDIE BOOK of 2017 📚💕 Anyone who has experienced—or knows someone who has experienced—miscarriage, ectopic pregnancy, stillbirth, or other forms of pregnancy and baby loss should read Expecting Sunshine, including those considering or already pregnant again. 📖 After her son, Zachary, dies in her arms at birth, visual artist and author Alexis Marie Chute disappears into her “Year of Distraction.” She cannot paint or write or tap into the heart of who she used to be, mourning not only for Zachary, but also for the future they might have had together. It is only when Chute learns she is pregnant again that she sets out to find healing and rediscover her identity—just in time, she hopes, to welcome her next child. 📖 In the forty weeks of her pregnancy, Chute grapples with her strained marriage, shaken faith, and medical diagnosis, with profound results. 📖 Glowing with riveting and gorgeous prose, Expecting Sunshine chronicles the anticipation and anxiety of expecting a baby while still grieving for the child that came before—enveloping readers with insightful observations on grief and healing, life and death, and the incredible power of a mother’s love. . . . . . . . #pregnancyloss #miscarriage #childloss #infantloss #babyafterloss #baby #grievingmother #foreverourbaby #stillborn #stillbirth #babyloss #babylosssupport #miscarriagesupport #miscarriageawareness #trialsbringblessing #expectingsunshine #alexismariechute #ttc #grief #healing #expectingsunshinememoir #mustread #parentingafterloss #griefsupport #lifeafterloss #babyloss #rainbowbaby #pregnancyafterloss #griefbooks #griefquotes https://www.instagram.com/p/B2e-_SWg6Gx/?igshid=1wziicec4ye1n

[lakhbirjassal]

My new book, Farewell Doby, is making its way all around the globe. 🌍I truly hope the book provides positive support in the area of 'pet' grief & loss to those in need.#griefandloss #bereavement #mentalhealth #wellnessblogger #psychology #petloss #petgrief #literature #kidslit #therapybook #counseling #counselling #doyoutravel #pawsitivity #shihtzugram #pnw #fraservalley #playtherapy #writersofinstagram #yogaoffthemat #shihpoo #picturebooks #vancitybuzz #BC #mindfulness #happythoughts #604 #griefbook #trauma #bookstagram

[nostalgia4thefuture]

Moving on, as a concept, is for stupid people, because any sensible person knows grief is a long-term project. I refuse to rush. The pain that is thrust upon us let no man slow or speed or fix.

Max Porter, "GRIEF IS THE THING WITH FEATHERS"

[blackberrycreekblog]

#Repost @theotherside.ig with @get_repost ・・・ Our first book signing was so fun and we got to meet so many wonderful people who told us about their animal friends who have passed on. The book is still on sale for $16 on Indiegogo through Dec. 31st (all orders will ship in January when we receive our next shipment), and you can still choose the Rainbow Option to donate a book as well! They will be available for regular price, $18.99 on Amazon in January! Link in bio or bit.ly/theothersidestory @_mother_of_chickens @dianapope238 #booksforkids #griefsupport #animalloss #animalgrief #loveoneanother #theotherside #rainbowbridge #therainbowbridge #petsofinstagram #animalheaven #dogheaven #catheaven #bunnyheaven #birdheaven #pigheaven #horseheaven #mourning #petstagram #griefbooksforkids #booksaboutdeath #booksaboutgrief #griefbooks # #animalbooks #bestkidsbooks #rainbowbridge🌈 https://www.instagram.com/p/B6lnJ9DnTBm/?igshid=bq0io7vcqniw

[alexismariechute]

“An amazingly moving and emotional story that any woman―or any parent―can easily relate to.” ―Jennifer Hamilton, Editor, Canadian Family magazine 🌈 ❤️ Expecting Sunshine is a multi-award-winning memoir and a Kirkus Review BEST INDIE BOOK of 2017 📚💕 Anyone who has experienced—or knows someone who has experienced—miscarriage, ectopic pregnancy, stillbirth, or other forms of pregnancy and baby loss should read Expecting Sunshine, including those considering or already pregnant again. 📖 After her son, Zachary, dies in her arms at birth, visual artist and author Alexis Marie Chute disappears into her “Year of Distraction.” She cannot paint or write or tap into the heart of who she used to be, mourning not only for Zachary, but also for the future they might have had together. It is only when Chute learns she is pregnant again that she sets out to find healing and rediscover her identity—just in time, she hopes, to welcome her next child. 📖 In the forty weeks of her pregnancy, Chute grapples with her strained marriage, shaken faith, and medical diagnosis, with profound results. 📖 Glowing with riveting and gorgeous prose, Expecting Sunshine chronicles the anticipation and anxiety of expecting a baby while still grieving for the child that came before—enveloping readers with insightful observations on grief and healing, life and death, and the incredible power of a mother’s love. . . . . . . . #pregnancyloss #miscarriage #childloss #infantloss #babyafterloss #baby #grievingmother #foreverourbaby #stillborn #stillbirth #babyloss #babylosssupport #miscarriagesupport #miscarriageawareness #trialsbringblessing #expectingsunshine #alexismariechute #ttc #grief #healing #expectingsunshinememoir #mustread #parentingafterloss #griefsupport #lifeafterloss #babyloss #rainbowbaby #pregnancyafterloss #griefbooks #griefquotes https://www.instagram.com/p/Bz_0ODIA6Ff/?igshid=18prt229gb01h

[alexismariechute]

I’m sharing the post of my friend and fellow writer and bereaved mom @stillbreathinglindsey ⤵️ ・・・ “You will not be raw forever. Soon the sun will shine once more and all that will remain is love.” -Alexis Marie Chute, Expecting Sunshine ~ I loved this book! With every chapter focusing on each week of her pregnancy after loss I found myself nodding my head, ‘yes’ in response. ~ There aren’t many books out there that are specific to the pregnancy after loss journey and Alexis’s captures that emotional journey so well. ~ Today is the rerelease of her book with added content! Be the first to pick it up or enter her giveaway that ends tonight by visiting @alexismariechute for more details! ~ Love this read. And her wise words above couldn’t be more true. Where the rawness once was now lives all the love I have and had for Nora. ❤️ . . . . . . . #pregnancyloss #miscarriage #childloss #infantloss #babyafterloss #baby #grievingmother #foreverourbaby #stillborn #stillbirth #babyloss #babylosssupport #miscarriagesupport #miscarriageawareness #trialsbringblessing #expectingsunshine #alexismariechute #ttc #grief #healing #expectingsunshinememoir #mustread #parentingafterloss #griefsupport #lifeafterloss #babyloss #rainbowbaby #pregnancyafterloss #griefbooks #griefquotes https://www.instagram.com/p/BzcEyteAA41/?igshid=101b4ekg4sags

[alexismariechute]

I’m sharing the post of my friend and fellow writer and bereaved mom @stillbreathinglindsey ⤵️ ・・・ “You will not be raw forever. Soon the sun will shine once more and all that will remain is love.” -Alexis Marie Chute, Expecting Sunshine ~ I loved this book! With every chapter focusing on each week of her pregnancy after loss I found myself nodding my head, ‘yes’ in response. ~ There aren’t many books out there that are specific to the pregnancy after loss journey and Alexis’s captures that emotional journey so well. ~ Today is the rerelease of her book with added content! Be the first to pick it up or enter her giveaway that ends tonight by visiting @alexismariechute for more details! ~ Love this read. And her wise words above couldn’t be more true. Where the rawness once was now lives all the love I have and had for Nora. ❤️ . . . . . . . #pregnancyloss #miscarriage #childloss #infantloss #babyafterloss #baby #grievingmother #foreverourbaby #stillborn #stillbirth #babyloss #babylosssupport #miscarriagesupport #miscarriageawareness #trialsbringblessing #expectingsunshine #alexismariechute #ttc #grief #healing #expectingsunshinememoir #mustread #parentingafterloss #griefsupport #lifeafterloss #babyloss #rainbowbaby #pregnancyafterloss #griefbooks #griefquotes https://www.instagram.com/p/Bx0Ywz3AbtI/?igshid=qtmgcm18dlgn

[nostalgia4thefuture]

The Book List

My growing list of books about grieving. Not everyone gets something out of reading meditations or memoirs about loss, but I've found it incredibly helpful in normalizing what is, after all, a universal experience.

Edit: I’ve rearranged these in order of how helpful I found them and how often I read and re-read them. 

Sameet Kumar's Grieving Mindfully

I've got this one on the Kindle app on my iPhone. It's the one Kindle book that I have extensively bookmarked and kept notes on. There's been an odd backlash against the practice of mindfulness of late that I don't understand. The practices here are calming, reassuring and life affirming.

Recommended for: Those in grief who have questions and are open to the idea of spiritual answers.

George Bonnano’s The Other Side of Sadness, What the New Science of Bereavement Tells Us About Life After Loss

A very well-researched book, full of anecdotes about people’s lives after losing a loved one. I found it to be full of reassuring proof of our resilience in times of sadness and crisis. 

Recommended for: People who may need a reminder that there is reason to hope, people who may be experiencing “extreme grief reaction” who may need help recognizing that and seeking out help. 

Carol Staudacher's A Time to Grieve

This was one of the first grief books given to me. I still keep it at my bedside table and flip through it at the odd moment. It's full of comforting wisdom, in short, easy-to-comprehend chapters, which is kind of important when you have foggy widow brain. 

Recommended for: Anyone who's grieving. Honestly, there is something in here for everyone who has lost a loved one, whether that loss is straightforward or really complicated. 

Martha Whitmore Hickman’s Healing After Loss, Daily Meditations for Working Through Grief

I discovered this book almost a year and a half into my grief. Unlike some other grief books, this one isn’t focused on the early stages. Hickman, who suffered the loss of her daughter, recognizes that grief never really leaves us. These are helpful, comforting thoughts, broken up into calendar days, but you can flip through at random until you land on the one that fits the way you’re feeling right now. 

Recommended for: Those who are suffering any kind of loss. Hickman lost a child, but her compassion extends to anyone who is missing their loved one. She invokes God and spirituality, but I didn’t find it preachy or heavy-handed, just comforting. 

Linda Feinberg's I'm Grieving as Fast as I Can

Feinberg comes off a bit scoldy and bossy, but ultimately the diverse range of experiences chronicled here and the wealth of practical advice makes this is a must-read for any young widow or widower looking for hope and guidance.

Recommended for: Younger (under 60) widows and widowers, parents without partners.

Stephanie Erickson's Companion Through the Darkness

One of the Amazon reviews of this memoir says "My young widows' support group all agree that this is the ONLY book that we kept returning to, month after long and lonely month." Funny, because this is the book that all the widows in my support group liked best, too! Which is all I can tell you about my support group. Like Fight Club, the number one rule of Support Group is, You Do Not Talk About Support Group. Don’t let the generic flowery-book-about-a-widow cover put you off. Erickson is heartbroken, pragmatic, witty, and hilariously sarcastic in equal parts.

Recommended for:  Widows and widowers dealing with the mundane, annoying and frightening aspects of their situation.  

Rob Sheffield's Love is a Mixtape

I just love this memoir, even though Sheffield is sometimes a model of what *not* to do to recover from grief. It was one of the first books I turned to after Jeffrey died and it brought me a lot of comfort and made me nostalgic.

Recommended for:  Young widows and widowers, anyone who had their heart broken in the 90's and used pop music to get them through. 

Roz Chast's Can't We Talk About Something More Pleasant?

If you're in the thick of dealing with end of life issues with an elderly parent, this book may hit a little too close to home. Do give it a try, though. Chast is refreshingly candid about her ambivalent relationship with her parents.

Recommended for: Anyone with parents. Seriously.

Joan Didion's The Year of Magical Thinking

You wouldn't believe how many people asked me if I'd read this book. It's become the go-to recommendation for the newly bereaved. I understand why, Didion's reaction of disbelief and wishful thinking is a common one (although it wasn't mine. Get rid of his shoes, already!) I found parts of it maddening—her husband had heart trouble for years, but it never occurred to her to come to terms with his mortality? But there were enough helpful insights that I found this worth reading.

Recommended for: Widows and widowers grieving the loss of a longtime partner.

C.S. Lewis' A Grief Observed

This is lovely prose from an old favorite. But what I got out of reading it was a (probably inappropriate) sense of superiority that made me feel better about the way I was coping. "Pull yourself together, man!" I kept thinking. This is a quick read and will resonate with anyone struggling with their faith at a very trying time.

Recommended for: Anyone struggling with their faith after the loss of a loved one.

Cheryl Strayed’s Wild

I started reading this and put it aside for six months because I was annoyed at Strayed. She came completely undone after the death of her mother, cheating on her husband, getting involved in drugs, and ultimately breaking up her marriage. She makes it really hard to sympathize with her, and it wasn’t until I returned to Wild months later that I realized that that was her point. We all react to grief in our own way, we all have our unique relationship with the person we lost. Strayed doesn’t have some mystical revelation on her Pacific Crest Trail hike. Normal humans rarely do after a loss. What she does get is the realization that life in the world is full of wonderful surprises and things that make it worth living. 

Recommended for: Anyone who’s suffered hardship and loss, who’s looking to find some meaning. 

Becky Aikman's Saturday Night Widows

A book about the healing power of friendship and new experiences. It's uneven, and some of the dialog, though faithfully recorded, sounds stilted. But hope and the power of the human spirit shines through.

Recommended for:  Definitely someone in the later stages of grief, as this is about widows who are ready to tackle the humongous task of rebuilding their lives.

Jill Smolowe's Four Funerals and a Wedding

I like Smolowe's no-nonsense tone and appreciate the subtitle: "resilience in a time of grief". Particularly useful to me was her candidness about her past battle with depression, and how she was able to tell the difference between the sadness of grief and the feelings associated with clinical depression.

Recommended for: Widows and widowers who are ready to start thinking about what life holds for them next. 

Roger Rosenblatt's Kayak Morning 

This one didn't really float my boat (sorrysorrysorry!) but my Dad really liked this memoir of a father mourning the loss of his adult daughter as he helps to raise her young family.

Recommended for:  Anyone mourning a close loved one, but they should be okay with prose poetry. 

  DISRecommendations

I can most assuredly recommend you NOT read these grief books:

The Grief Recovery Handbook

TL;DR. Literally. This weird self-help book is a series of worksheets to work through feelings related to what is known as "complicated grief". You're supposed to do the work with a trusted person who is also dealing with a loss, and not on your own. Look, unless you live in the middle of nowhere, you really need to find a grief counselor, a support group, a therapist or clergy person to work through this pain you're feeling. As appealing as a workbook to help you recover sounds, there are just no shortcuts.

Plus one of the co-authors faults the other one for losing himself in science fiction after the death of his son. I've gotta call bullshit on that. The science fiction genre has produced some of the most moving modern stories about grief that we have. But that is another topic for another blog post!

Joan Didion's Blue Nights

Ah, here's the Joan Didion I thought I knew and knew I disliked. As she was bravely completing the coherent narrative about the loss of her husband, The Year of Magical Thinking, her daughter died. Blue Nights is rambling and unsure, full of the repetitive prose that Didion is so in love with. Her pain bleeds onto every page. This is a difficult read, relieved only by the occasional Hollywood insider story.

The Unfaithful Widow

OMG Amazon "People who bought this also bought" free Kindle preview chapter, what was I thinking? There's five minutes of my life I'll never get back. I almost wish I had paper copy so I could rip this into tiny pieces.

The Amazon Smile links will designate a portion of your purchase to the charity of your choice. If you found this list helpful, please consider choosing Kara Grief Support in Palo Alto, CA. They facilitate my support group and are sponsoring Camp Erin, the grief camp that Celeste and Revelin are attending this Summer. 

[nostalgia4thefuture]

Novice Mourners Book Club: I’m Grieving as Fast as I Can

Wherein I read the grief books so you don't have to.

“YES! THAT!” “Exactly so!” “Nailed it!” – that’s the sound of my inner monologue, reading Linda Feinberg’s “I’m Grieving as Fast as I Can, How Young Widows and Widowers Can Cope and Heal”. 

Since we’re all “supposed to” live to a ripe old age and grow old comfortably with our chosen mate, there is a dearth of GOOD resources for widows and widowers who have lost their spouse at a young age. What’s true for my Dad, who lost his wife of 58 years, is not necessarily true for me, grieving my husband after only 15 years together, with two young children to care for.

Feinberg takes anecdotes and quotes directly from hundreds of people she’s counseled over the years. They each have unique situations, but all of them are relatable. “Misery loves company” is a cliché, but it’s why support groups work, and why this book is effective. Knowing that others have been through what you’re going through makes the grief process a little more bearable. And Steinberg shares plenty of strategies that have been helpful for her clients. 

Chapters cover emotional topics like “It Matters How the Person Died” and "Anger/Unfinished Business" as well as practical matters like “Returning to Work”, “Possessions”, and “Rings”. (I took my engagement ring off months ago, and I took my wedding ring off the day after Thanksgiving. I felt like, I made it through this momentous occasion of our first holiday without Jeffrey. I wanted to mark that rite of passage in some way. Plus I was finding looking at it more distressing than it was comforting. This book made me feel okay about removing my ring when I did.)

The edition I have was written in 1994, and I don’t know if there’s a newer one.  I hope so, because some of the pre-Internet advice is hilariously dated. “Call your local library or check the classified ads in your local newspaper to find a support group”? “Go on a singles cruise or to events at a tennis club to meet new people”? Oh, right, this is pre-Google. (My other completely shallow nitpick is the butt-ugly cover graphic and the cheeseball 90’s sans-serif font inside.) Feinberg can sound a bit bossy, and sometimes her writing is stilted (there is a weird story about how she helped one widowed client’s sister land a husband by advising her not to wear so many diamonds. And lo, she married a doctor who bought her even more diamonds. Like I said, weird!), but for the most part her advice is straightforward and practical.

This book is great, and I think it could literally be a life-saving aid to someone struggling with a difficult loss. Having access to all these personal stories makes me see that I am not alone in this struggle, and it offers a twisted sort of comfort-- it makes me realize how much worse my situation could be. (Hey, I said it was twisted.)

Go here to order the paperback or here to order the Kindle edition and a percentage of your purchase will go to charity. If you designate Kara in Palo Alto, you'll be helping the organization that is currently helping me.