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fiction-in-my-blood · 4 years

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Obey Me! Brothers W/ Mentally Slow MC HC

~Longer than necessary A/N ahead so, if you don’t care, you don’t need to read it, just sharing stuff about myself to random strangers on the internet lol.~

So... I’m slow. Like, my brain just does not computer things quick enough a majority of the time? I’m not a great conversationalist because of it, I have a pretty bad stammer, I mix up names even though they don’t sound at all the same, and I get too excited when I do know something that when I try to say it its just a jumble of words that don’t make sense and I tell my friends to just forget about it because I know I won’t be able to say the right words lol. Luckily I have great friends and they give me the time to rethink my sentence so I can say what I want to say. Oh, and I daydream to the point I never dream in my sleep haha. So, this is basically an HC for me lol. That being said, I’m pulling from mostly my own experiences here, so I’m sorry if they sound a lil depressy haha.

And I would like to say, if anyone can relate, there’s literally nothing wrong with you!!! (Cannot stress this enough). We just have our fun lil quirks.

~Also, I’m so sorry for missing out on Belphie. I love him somuch but I could not think of a scenario for him. If I do in the future I’ll edit or reupload idk.~

~Oh, and @theshove , I finally posted again ;), although I’m sure it’s not gonna be as spicy as you’d like.~

Warnings: Descriptive explanation of a panic attack in Mammon’s HC, reference to bullying in Satan’s

~~~~~~

Lucifer:

At first, he was secretly pretty frustrated.

He thought it was a confidence issue, he heard that was a common thing in human youth, to not believe in yourself and have anxiety about the way you looked, spoke, sounded.

You would often be having conversations with his brothers, debating a subject that Lucifer took no interest in, and you would be about to put in your input when a stream of nonsense passed your lips.

“Y’know what, nevermind.” Was a frequent phrase that left your lips when you did slip up, sighing to yourself as you thought about how ridiculous you just sounded.

Lucifer would ensure none of the brothers, or Solomon, ever teased you about your mistakes.

Although, it was mortifying everytime you accidentally called him Levi, and vice versa.

It was hard enough when you were still getting to know the brothers, but even on a date with the eldest, Levi just seemed like an easier word to say in the moment. It led to a few upsetting misunderstandings and some pretty severe punches to Lucifer’s pride.

Once you two got closer, you explained you mixed up your words because you used to be practically mute.

You weren’t a particularly extroverted child, nor were you interested in much, so you hardly spoke at all. You never got the practice you needed to familiarise yourself with words. It was Devildom that really brought them out of you.

After you did share that with him, he thrived off hearing your voice, even when it took a solid ten seconds to contemplate what you needed to say, even stretching your mouth muscles before you started just in case you stumbled again.

Of course, you made your mistakes now and again, got stuck on a word, laughing at how ridiculous you sounded saying ‘in’ several times in a row when you were trying to argue over tonight’s dinner, but Lucifer never cracked a joke like you did about yourself.

He smiled, happy that you didn’t let this impact your personality and recovered quickly and, gradually, at snail's pace it felt like at the time, you could hold a conversation, a bright smile on your face when you were able to pull it off.

“Lucifer, I didn’t stutter this time!”

“Well done, MC, shall I give you a reward?”

Mammon:

“Useless human, can’t even talk, huh?”

Trying to act like the big tough guy he played himself out to be didn’t fare well when you first arrived in Devildom, his brothers practically beat him up every other day for it.

The first time you laid your eyes upon a demon and they explained you would be a transfer student, it took you a few minutes of silence to understand what was actually going on.

It wasn’t because this wasn’t an extraordinary situation, you were an avid reader of fantasy novels and had waited for the day to be transported away from your boring, mundane life, but you just couldn’t compute verbal speech.

In potion class, you had to ask the teacher to write down the ingredients and the quantities because you couldn’t picture the words themselves, so you couldn’t understand what the potion was actually meant to do.

“What’re you writing it all down for?”

“It’s easier for me to listen when I can read what they’re saying. I guess it’s because my hearing’s crap?”

But your hearing wasn’t all that bad, it was just easier to explain it that way than explaining how transcriptions help you listen.

Sometimes, in the hallways of RAD, the bustling students and whispering gossiping of you, a human, making a pact with Mammon? Apparently it was hilarious to everyone else.

But it wasn’t what the demons were saying, it was how loud they were saying it.

It was just too many noises at once, you couldn’t decipher the surround-sound mumbling and it stressed you out, made you uncomfortable, and gave you that all too familiar feeling of a panic attack due to the sensory overload.

Mammon realised your discomfort as tears grew in your eyes and your breathing quickened and, for a moment, he was moving to beat up every single devil that ever even mentioned the word ‘human’.

“Ma-Mammon!” Your frail voice and a tug on his sleeve pulled him back to Devildom and he turned back around to you, watching as you clenched your eyes shut, trying to ignore the buzzing that continued to rattle your brain.

“Can you take me some place quiet?”

From then on, you would often spend your lunch breaks in a quiet classroom away from the majority of students. It was a good place for you to wind down, especially, when you two were close enough, Mammon would hug you closely, helping the panic in your heart when you did have a panic attack due to all the noises.

You didn’t have them as much now, the noise cancelling headphones he had bought you brought solace as you walked from classroom to classroom.

In class, he would try his best to act as scribe when you were running behind, but he did a terrible job. His handwriting was abysmal, only now did he appreciate how quickly you had to write to keep up with the lessons.

You appreciate the sentiment all the same, placing a quick kiss on his cheek- you were dating at this point- and explained that he didn’t have to do that for you, you could just get a copy of the teacher’s notes after class.

Now he could never feel more guilty about picking on you when you first got to Devildom.

“Hey, Mamo?”

“Yeah, MC?”

“Thanks for not getting angry at me.”

Leviathan:

You were pretty silent, never really talking unless you were spoken to directly.

Yet, you still had that dumb, normie trap of cute smile on your face when you listened to everyone ranting and raving.

When you did speak, it was quiet, almost a whisper.

Thank Diavolo for the demon’s enhanced hearing because, if they didn’t, they would be constantly asking you to speak up.

It wasn’t because you didn’t like your voice or you thought you were too loud otherwise, it was just because you couldn’t really be bothered to be louder.

You were content with just listening, watching everyone have a vivid conversation about the latest trouble Mammon had gotten into or Satan raving about the last Detective show you needed to watch.

You never had any questions to ask in class, and the ones you did have would usually be asked by another student before you got the chance to even raise your hand. You weren’t a genius, just a good listener.

Levi understood, somewhat. Why would you want to talk to his normie brothers? They had nothing interesting to say.

Most of the time he suspected you just weren’t listening to them.

But, it’s when you were alone together in his room as he told you about the latest anime he was enjoying, he got annoyed.

“Are you even listening to me? I don’t even know why I try. You don’t deserve Henry!”

“I was listening. You were explaining how you think the next season of TSL is going to go. I’ll admit, the Lord of Shadow saving that servant from the Lord of Corruption seems a little far fetched, but it’d be interesting to watch.”

That had possibly been the longest group of sentences he had ever heard you string together at once. And they were so soft, no hint of trepidation from his accusation.

Eyes wide in embarrassment for misreading the situation, and getting so aggressive about it, Leviathan looked away.

“I’m sorry, I know I seem really dismissive all the time. I just enjoy listening to you talk about your passions.”

The bright smile on your face calmed him down, as it usually did, and, every so often, you would make your comments about the shows you know only because of him. He was very good at explaining plot lines. Even when you had never seen the show, you felt like you had.

You would mainly just talk to Levi from then on, getting to the point where you could express your own hobbies without him judging you as a normie and more as a friend.

Well, not a friend, more than that, much more, but a friend would have to do for now.

The first time you strike up a conversation with him, calling his name from down the hallway of the house you’re staying in as he walks with Asmodeus, Mammon and Beelzebub is possibly the greatest day of Levi’s life.

“Lefty.” You accidentally pronounce his name wrong, like you sometimes do with “Bell” and “Ashmo”.

You didn’t have any problems with saying their names normally, but when you were tired, all hopes of communicating like a normal human being went out the window.

Your words were a low mumble, but they were something Levi had learnt to understand fluently from your late night gaming sessions that would usually end in ruin when your tired brain drastically slowed your reflexes.

“I heard it was your 200,000th bicentennial birthday coming up, so I asked one of my friends to commission this for you.”

Only Diavolo knows how you managed to pronounce centennial at this time of night, but you did it, handing him a paper-wrapped, flat square, a light blush dusting both your cheeks.

Asmo made a flirty, teasing comment about how close you two seemed and how, now, Levi was the lucky one.

Mammon got jealous, demanding that he wanted a birthday present, even though his milestone couple centuries had literally been a couple centuries ago.

Beel’s stomach grumbled, but he was a little curious about what you could have possibly gifted Levi, and how many words you just said as loud as they would usually be, which was wildly out of character for you.

“It’s the Lord of Shadow and the servant.” Levi gasped upon seeing the magnificent drawing your friend had made for you, which you insisted on paying for, and never had Levi been so jealous to have a friend like that. A friend with such talent.

“You were right, he did save her.” You smiled, eyes twinkling at the positive reaction Levithan had made.

You had seen the similarities in the characters with you and the demon. The servant was said to have had their voice stolen as a child, long before they and the Lord of Shadow had met. And it was obvious to you the similarities the anime brothers had with the demon brothers, but you wouldn’t dare tell Levi that. You were worried he’d get shy and call you a normie again.

So that statement you made was a form of confession to Levi. Something you hoped he would understand.

“You watched the season without me?! How did you even get the DVD? It’s not even out yet!”

Yeah, no such luck there.

“Levi, you know what isn’t fair?”

“What could possibly be unfair for you in this situation?”

“That you aren’t as good a listener as I am.”

Satan:

You were an avid texter, just like Satan.

Your fingers moved so quickly against the screen of your D.D.D or the keyboard of a computer, it was amazing someone could see them.

And you were smart. On electronics, you could keep up conversations on the latest book you were reading and discuss the detective shows you and he liked to watch together.

It was only when you spoke in person did your conversations so down.

“Oh for fuck’s sake!” You cried out after a particularly long and troublesome stutter, mainly annoyed because it was an easy word but all the b’s tied your tongue like a tongue twister. Ironically, you felt like you were blubbering like an idiot.

Your stammer used to be worse, far worse. So bad you couldn’t even tell your parents anything without getting angry at yourself, but you got the speech therapy and learnt to just take it slow when you got eager.

Everytime you see Satan, you want to be able to match his intellect and speed. You felt almost competitive.

But it would hardly ever work out in your favour, your ‘S’s coming out like you were trying to start an old engine and ‘B’s and ‘D’s being switched in for each other like you were a toddler.

You spoke before you thought of what you were going to say, hoping the words would just float out of my mouth like everyone else’s did.

But no. Not for you.

You had to carefully plan each sentence, thinking about every conversation you had so you could make a pre-made answer just so you wouldn’t look like a fool taking so long to speak.

You were ashamed most of the time, bullied for your impediment as a child and even in your teen years by people you told yourself were your friends but really weren’t when they called you teasing nicknames instead of your given one after you had asked them several times to use it.

They were the main reason you still didn’t have the confidence to speak well now.

“Hey, take it easy. We’re not in a rush.”

Satan would always be nice, politely giving you the time you needed to take a breather, calm down, and start over again, still blushing from your last stuttering episode.

“Why don’t you call me an idiot?”

A lot of questions similar to these, the only difference- the name you would be called, passed your lips sometimes, when there was a lull in your time together.

You were used to people making fun, telling you to just shut up already so they didn’t have to hear your stupidity anymore.

“You’re not stupid. I care about what you have to say.”

Satan was always so serious everytime he answered a variation of your question, showing you he really cared.

You blushed, your mind blank and it would take a couple minutes after that initial compliment for you to reboot.

It was true, though.

Satan enjoyed watching your lips move and the sound of your voice as you two discussed who the killer in his detective show could be.

You both always came to the same conclusion before the episode ended.

Because most of your conversations happened through text, he found he missed your tone and expressive face when you got really into a subject.

He didn’t care if you stuttered, it was far better than just watching words flash across a screen, as most of your conversations went, on his D.D.D

Although, he did care that you got so angry with yourself.

Being the Avatar of Wrath, he understood how easy it was to give into frustration and just want to hit something every time you made a mistake, he had done that many times in his younger years, and it wasn’t healthy.

It wasn’t healthy to be ashamed of a mere stumble or get mad at yourself for it, you never learnt that way.

One night, laying in his bed, platonically, you shared your reasoning behind getting so mad everytime you stuttered.

You had seen Satan’s demon-form once before, but never had you seen it arise so quickly and so fiercely.

You had been down all day and he had brought you to his room so you could feel comfortable enough to talk to him, but this fearful man, no, creature before you only put you more on edge.

But he continued to hold you.

He continued to wrap his arms around you from behind, spooning your body, trying his best not to fly out of hell right now and hunt down those who had picked on and teased you for all those years for something you couldn’t even help.

To think the reason you hated something he found so endearing was because some mere humans had made you think your excitement to communicate with people was something wrong?

“I don’t think this exchange program is going to work out.”

“Wh...Why?” You tried your hardest now to sound strong, sighing to yourself when you repeated the letters.

“Because I won’t be able to hold back if I have free access to the human world. What kind of assholes do that?”

“Teenage assholes.”

Asmodeus:

What a cute little airhead.

From the moment he first met you, Asmo loved the clueless looks on your face as you sifted through the information you were being given, seconds behind the punch everyone else could get to.

You were slow, but you were meticulous, combing through every piece of information you could to give the correct response.

You were actually pretty smart because of that fact, studying so hard on everything you did so you weren’t embarrassed by being wrong.

And you weren’t too big with the whole ‘social cues’ thing either, mistaking Satan’s sarcasm for truth and Leviathan’s anger for genuine, relationship-ruining upset, desperately trying to fix the situation so that no one would get hurt.

You were selfless in the strangest of ways, too, opting to go without something you actually, really needed before asking someone for help.

Once, you had tried ordering shower gel off of Akuzon, but, instead, ordered Shaitan Gell, a special ingredient often used by witches to summon demons.

You had wondered why it was so expensive, but thought that maybe the Devildom economy wasn’t doing so well right now.

(It wasn’t your money you were using, so what the hell?)

It was even more confusing when it smelled a little off, but demons had strange tastes. Beelzebub literally ate brains and bat wings on the daily.

When Diavolo showed up in your shower the first time you used the oddly thick, black liquid, you just cocked your head, too weird to be embarrassed. Thinking this was a regular occurance in Devildom, you gave the prince a hearty hello and asked him, if he needed anything, could he please wait outside so you could get dressed first.

The news spread like wildfire, especially when Diavolo randomly vanished from a meeting with Lucifer.

When everyone did find out, as Lucifer was reprimanding you for using such a relic in that way, they teased you endlessly, some offering you their own makes of the potion so you might accidentally summon them in the same way.

Every flirty or sexual remark Asmo made went right over your head, thinking that with every personal question he asked was just asked to make conversation and not genuine interest on his part.

“Do you have a partner?”

“Well, no, I don’t really compete in dance competitions or anything.”

“What positions do you usually go for?”

“I don’t play many sports, but if I had to pick, I’d say a pitcher in baseball. I have a pretty mean throw!”

It actually became a little bewildering how oblivious you were to all of his advances, thinking every time he draped himself over you he was cold and you offered him your jumper.

He took them everytime, so you were starting to run low. He tended to hoard them in his room, savouring the sweet scent of the body wash he had bought for you after the Shaitan incident.

“Asmo, can I get my hoodie back?”

You called through his closed door at some point after returning from school in the dead of winter, shivering in the sweat pants and long sleeved top you already had on.

You were generous, you didn’t think you personally were, but all the brothers knew you would give anyone anything if they asked for it.

That’s why it wasn’t that ridiculous when Asmo had all of your jackets. Hoodies from years ago, sweaters you bought just to treat yourself because they were so soft, and even this jumper you got from your ex-boyfriend in high school, something you meant to give back but never managed to. You forgot every time you went to meet him with that exact intent the reason for seeing him.

It didn’t remind you of him, he barely wore it before you practically stole it, but it did make Asmo’s heart skip a beat at the ‘sweater-paws’ you got from the much-too-long sleeves.

Following a clattering from what sounded like trash cans, followed by a comical shriek of a cat, the door flew open to a slightly disheveled Asmodeus, fabric clutched in his hand as he stood topless before you.

“Oh, sorry, Asmo. I didn’t mean to disturb you. I’m just so cold.”

You laughed to show you weren’t upset with him as you rubbed your arms, bouncing on the balls of your feets to get your blood moving enough to create some heat.

How could all these devils, avatars of the seven deadly sins, not have heating?

“Let me warm you up, MC!”

Without even stopping to hear your answer, but he knew you’d say yes, no matter what, Asmo pulled you in by the wrist, immediately wrapping his bare arms around you the moment the door was closed.

He was warm and you were comfortable with him, he showed you curiosity and care, so you eased into that embrace, thinking it a friendly gesture as a thank you for using your clothes all the time.

When you felt a slight nibble on your ear, you started to freak out a little.

You stuttered out an inquiry as to what he was doing, shyly pushing away as he drew back with his flirtatious smirk.

“I’ve made it so obvious for so long, MC. I really like you.”

Asmo cooed back, prodding your puffed out cheek with the tip of his tongue as you tilted your head to the side the same way you did every time someone told you something new.

Knowing you would be taking a moment to compute the information, Asmo used this chance to bury his face in the crook of your neck.

“I really like you too, Asmo.”

The realisation came pretty suddenly.

You had never put much thought into it.

Sure, he was the Avatar of Lust, he could just be saying this so he could express his temporary desires, but that was how you felt. You weren’t one for holding back, you were always scared of forgetting the topics of your thoughts if you didn’t say them aloud, so you just went for it.

Beelzebub:

Does this person even have bones?!

Like, seriously, your tripping over your feet like they’re not even attached to your body.

Rolling your ankle, walking off in directions that definitely don’t lead to where you intend on going, skipping right passed the class you’re meant to be attending.

The amount of times you’ve gotten lost in both the House of Lamentation and RAD is honestly worrying.

Your sense of direction? What even is a map because it seems like you’ve never even heard of the concept of signs or specific routes you need to take to get to your bedroom.

To help with your impossibly slow way of getting a lay of the land in your new dorm, you would often take midnight strolls.

Often getting lost, which is how you found Belphegor up in the attic, even when you had stayed on the same floor.

That’s how you and Beel got so close.

Because of the delectable scents coming from the kitchen, you would often find him having his late night snacks.

He would invite you to stay, at first only because Lucifer had instructed him to walk you back to your room every time he found you aimlessly wandering the house late at night.

“Is your ankle okay?” He would ask through a mouthful of food, but somehow you were still able to understand him.

Blushing, you looked down as your injury that was caused earlier in the day. You had stepped weird on the side of your foot- something that would usually happen and something you would usually be able to walk away from- but this time it was on the tall spiral stairs of the school you were still getting to know, sending you tumbling down flights and flights of steps.

It was a wonder you were human, because even Solomon was shocked you survived that.

“Y-Yeah, just a little red,” was an understatement.

You’re ankle killed. It was only a little swollen thanks to the spell your sorcerer friend used on you, but that didn’t help the sprain of your tendons. It was slightly bruised, covered by your loosest, most comfortable socks.

“Are you embarrassed?” Beel pointed out your bashful blush and you looked back up. He had seen your obvious hobble as you made your way to his side, but didn’t want to mention it in case you were feeling fragile about the subject.

“It just gives me flashbacks, is all.”

Oh?

Memories from MC’s past?

Yes, Beel would very much like to hear about that.

Not to tease or bribe you with, he was genuinely curious about your little human life. Not that you could tell, but he had never been so curious about another being like that.

“Oh, god, well, I guess I trust you.” You joked, blushing harder as you laughed about the memory that plagues your thoughts.

One time, in high school, you were walking out of the cantine when you tripped over literally nothing, throwing your bottle of water across the school yard like you needed to save it from your fall. It landed in the middle of a group of older students.

The amount of laughs you got from that. The teacher that came up to you to ask if you were okay. The cut that occured on your knee.

(Yes, this is a personal story. Yes, I have ptsd every time I pick up a plastic bottle of water)

Oh, it was like you were reliving the horror right there and then.

“It was mortifying! My friends still bring it up. To. this. day.” You sulk, resting your forehead on the table to hide the deep red on your face.

“Did it hurt?” The blunt question came as a shock, that’s for sure, and you no longer felt unbearably hot when you looked up to see him. There was little look of amusement except for a kind-hearted smile.

“W-Well, not as much as this other time...”

You found yourself telling him all of your most embarrassing tales, seeking for that one story that would make him laugh the way everyone else would laugh at you.

He didn’t. At all. It was actually a little worrying that he found none of your stories funny.

Truthfully, he did find the want to chuckle at a few of them, but he didn’t want to betray your trust by laughing at such ‘precious’ memories for you.

#this has been in my drafts for far too long #I have 20 other wips #why do i do this to myself?#I so wanna write but I have like four assignments due and I have NOT started any of them TT #obey me!#obey me #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me mamo #obey me levi #obey me leviathan #obey me asmo #obey me asmodeus #obey me satan #obey me beel #obey me beelzebub #obey me fluff

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shiro-0197 · 3 years

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Oh bae grrr don't apologize!! I'm just glad your day was alright, and I hope you get some rest tonight!! My day was okay. I was just in front of my laptop since I had classes, and then I finally finished my slides, and had another leo meeting. My brother was a royal pain in the ass the whole day istg, but I'm fine now :) thanks for asking btw!!

Aww but that's so admirable! Gotta love teachers like that, haha. And I totally get that! That one uni I researched is probably the one I've set my eyes on. I've done EXTENSIVE research on it, so I don't want to set my sights on other places. What about you? Do you have any specifics for your future uni?

ikr?? He's just grandpa Kuroo to me istg. He's also an ENTP, and I vibe really well with ENTP's, so haha I think that'll also be cool.

I AGREE SOMUCH. Shōyō is just such a cute smol bean. He'd be the best little spoon, honestly. i agree thoo, they're all amazing characters, and probably would be so fun to hang out with 😭

that's actually pretty great!! I hope the cases come down to double or single digits soon!

oh nice!! And aaah I've heard A LOT about Russian food, it honestly sounds delicious. (I just love hearing people talk about food and culture. I could read/listen to them for hours istg). And aw that's such a cute story. I'm sure they were all really glad you introduced it to them. Confuzzled tho... Y-you don't like cottage cheese? :O

Yes you should be proud!! Today I was ready to kill my brother, then I saw your message(‼️) and I decided I could let him live a little longer, because I was busy reading it.

Ah yes!! Your country's flag colour too!! Tho the blue is such a pretty shade, it's like a teal? So pretty‼️💖💖💖. The Malaysian flag is just like an off-brand US one 😭🤚

and aw I'm glad I'm right! I only know one other person who has white as their favourite colour, and she's the best (Angel). So maybe both the cool people in my life like white xD my favourite colours are pink and yellow :>

Yes, why wouldn't they be? I cherish anything anyone makes for me, and especially you, because you're truly that special. Love you!! Sleep well, sweet dreams :))

—ari (gone back to signing my name with lame ol' Ari because I'm out of ideas. Also. I'm getting territorial over my nickname because at today's leo meeting there was this other guy also named Ari and we DID NOT vibe well grrr)

Hey hey!!! I know I answered like ... 24 hours late which sucks a lot, very sorry :(( I'm hoping your day went good today too!! Tell me about it?

Oh I'm glad you got the work done! Mind showing me a few slides? I'm curious hehe~ Also I'm going to have to detach your brother's ribs for bothering you, my apologies😁

Yeah!! They really make me feel like there is a reason to keep going. Like, at least to make them go "that's my student!!"😭

Well, since I got all the research done for me, I just mostly did research on what its actually like to be a translator, you know? I read through like 24 articles on both languages I know and I think I'm prepared xD I'm gonna look up the unis my teacher suggested soon though, and probably question some of the students because I'm desperate like that😝 Hopefully that'll pay off

Hehe, yea, the way he acts like he has seen life is adorable in a way. That's so cool though, imagine having the luck to have your personality match your favorite character's😭 I really wish I had an extroversion trait in my mbti xD I'd really need that ..

YES also you saying he'd be a little spoon made me want to cuddle him SO BAD I'm JSJDJWJDJ I want to give him a headpat and squish his little cheeks .....

Not gonna lie, I wish I could spend a year with one character each day. How cool would that be? You get a hang out and maybe learn something new. Then live in pain for the rest of your life because they wont be here anymore but that's nothing to worry about

I really hope so too!! Honestly this has been crazy. And the way everyone still refuses to cover up their nose... sometimes I wonder if it's ok to mock people who got COVID, cuz like, it's not always their fault, but when you saw that person without a mask before and now they're in the hospital, it's kinda funny, in a rude way. I'm an asshole, I know, I'm sorry😔

Yes yes, if you ever get the chance to try it, you should!!! I'm really sure you'll love it. You should try adding ketchup and mayo mix as well! It'll do magic

Oh no, I LOVE cottage cheese (mixed with sour cream and sugar..🥰🤤🤤), I just really hate it when its cooked or baked. Like ... that's it, its warm and so much soggier now. What have you done? You ruined it. Congratulations! You've lost my respect. Well, not you of course, anyone who cooks cottage cheese xD it's like water, it sucks when warm.

Awh what !!!!! That makes me so happy??!?!? I bring you that much joy you pass up on murder ?!?? That's a lethal strike ma'am were getting married again

Yeah!!! I also kinda like the symbolism. And the story. Which is an honor for this whole place because I really dont like this country xD dont ask why~ personal reasons. Though it's so much more peaceful than others, so that's also great hehe. The Malaysian flag is kinda funny now that you call it like that😭😭😭 I still think it looks cool though!! I'd call it "Asia's USA" but that would, uh, be more of an insult, considering the state (see what I did there? Haha states... haha) of the country right now😓

Welp, the purest people like the purest colors xD just kidding, we're all probably chaotic~ at least out of everyone I know, everyone with white as their favorite has done something no normal person would do (ex. One of the color-white-lovers I knew tried stealing 7 shopping carts😐 I really didnt believe him until he showed me the photo of the fine he got.) Pink and yellow are such a good combination🥺🥺 they're like peach and sunset and uhh... PB&J, if that counts? Peanut butter is now yellow, deal with it😔 Anyway they're really pretty, together or not !!! what's your favorite hue?

Daww... you're so sweet... I'm melting🥺🥺😭💕💕 just so you know I also created a separate album for the stuff you drew me <3

I hope you sleep well tonight!!! You deserve it after all♡♡♡

Dawwh😭😭 I know what it feels like. Sometimes people with your name embarrass themselves so much, it makes you embarrassing because you have the same name. It's not the situation you're in, but uh ... another example? xD I could change your tag to "Shortcake🍰💕" if you'd like😝

#Ari💕#i know you said not to apologize but #i mightve worried or frustrated you so😡#im very sorry!!!#i love you!!!#💕💓💕💞💞💝💓💖💞💖💕💝💓💖💕

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oliverwxod · 6 years

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Tell me you love me even if you don’t (Part 2)

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x reader

Warnings: mentions of sex like always (oops), swearing

Summary: Part 1

Masterlist

Y/n stood at the end of her bed staring at the red tissue papered package.

Lately Bucky seeemed really down, ever since he admitted how he felt. So y/n was taking it upon herself to cheer him up. She had told him she had a surprise for him tonight, telling him to come by her room at 10.

She unwrapped the paper carefully, revealing a set of lace, scarlet coloured lingerie. Bucky had once told her that she looked stunning in red so she just had to pick it.

she put it on, staring at herself in the mirror, admiring the way it fit her perfectly. Normally she would never do something like this but Bucky deserved to have a good time as he had be so down.

She patiently sat on the end of her bed in silence, waiting for Bucky who should be there any minute. 30 minutes later and he wasn’t there yet making her worry.

Pulling her silk robe on to cover up she left her room in search of him.

“Hey Steve” she spoke gaining the Captains attention. He was sitting on the compound sofa watching tv.

“Hey Y/n, what’s up?” He asked flashing her a smile.

“Have you seen Bucky? He said he would drop by tonight” she spoke trying to hide how disappointed she was.

“Oh- I - think he went out to a bar with Sam and Clint” Steve replied.

“Oh- right. Okay. Well thanks anyway!” She spoke “good night”

“Night love” He spoke back watching her leave the room.

Steve sighed knowing exactly what Bucky was probably going to do. He had told Steve all about the situation with Y/n and if he knew his friend he knew he was going to drink his self silly and wake up with a lot of regrets.

———————————————————-

“Where were you last night?” Y/n asked walking into the kitchen where Bucky was sitting at one of the breakfast bar stools, chatting with Steve.

“Oh -uh me and Steve went out” he spoke stuttering, looking to Steve who froze.

“Um yeah, yeah we did” he spoke. Knowing that y/n knew he was lying as y/n had seen and spoke to him last night at the compound.

Bucky didn’t wait any longer, leaving the kitchen as soon as he could.

“Why’s he lying to me? Were you lying to me last night when you said he went out with Sam and Clint?”

“Maybe you should talk to Bucky”

“Look Steve if he wanted to tell me he wouldn’t have lied. I need to know if I’ve done something wrong”

“I don’t know how you’ll react to the truth” he spoke.

“Whatever it is wont be the end of the world” she spoke, confused. She didn’t understand the sudden ignorance on Bucky’s behalf.

“He was with Clint and Sam at a bar. But they came home before him.” He started “Look- I’m just going to be out right with you here y/n, Bucky slept with someone last night”

“Oh. Okay” she spoke slightly shocked. She wasn’t expecting that.

“You okay?” Steve asked, watching her reaction closely. She seemed pretty calm to him, as if she wasn’t bothered.

“Yeah why wouldn’t I be?” She shrugged. “He can do what he wants”

Steve nodded not really knowing what to say. It was an awkward situation for him. He knew why Bucky did it, but it wasn’t Steve’s place to say.

——————————————

Y/n left the kitchen, not wanting Steve to see through her fake smile and careless attitude towards the information he shared about Bucky.

He slept with someone

Someone that wasn’t her. Even though she knew he was a free man and could do what he wanted.Y/n was the one who made that clear to him.

Yet she couldn’t shake the sick feeling. Bucky had been with someone else last night while she waited for him, dressed up for him. She never thought she would be in this situation. But she knew eventually Bucky would move on from her and want to actually start a life with someone else, he couldn’t wait on her forever, nor did she want him to. Y/n was now a waste of his time after making it clear she didn’t want anything apart from sex from him.

She couldn’t understand why she was feeling this way.

---------------------------------------------

Bucky had avoided Y/n for weeks now. He had lead himself down a path of self destruction. Drinking himself to sleep, going out to bars and causing trouble, getting into fights with everyone and anyone.

It hurt Y/n to see him this way, yet he didn’t want to speak to her. He only came to her occasionally in the middle of the night, crawling into bed next to her and letting her cuddle him. Her fingers tracing mindless patterns on his back, soothing him to sleep and letting him pretend he was hers for the night.

Yet he still wouldn’t talk to her. Just going to her for comfort every now and then.

It was all becoming too much. She couldn't carry on seeing him self destruct like this. She had never realised how horribly lonely and unhappy she was without him around all the time.

She had never realised how happy Bucky made her without even trying. She couldn’t admit to herself how she felt about him though. Knowing she wasn’t what Bucky needed. He may have wanted her, but she knew she was bad for him.

“Bucky” she spoke quietly. He was laying next to her in her bed, drunk and sleepy, wanting nothing more than to be close to her.

“mmmph” he made a small humming sound in reply, his arms latching on around her waist and pulling her to him.

Her hand automatically went to his hair, softly stroking it the way he loved.

“please stop doing this to yourself.” she spoke.

“mmmh maybe” he said sleepily, it was clear he wasn’t even listening.

Y/n took it upon herself to look at him properly. He seemed at peace, now asleep next to her, a small smile on his face which brought one upon her own.

“what are you doing to me Bucky” she whispered shaking her head to herself, her hand still carding through his hair softly. “I can’t love you but... fuck. I really do and I shouldn’t”

“you should” he whispered, his eyes still closed.

Y/n froze.

“oh my god, I thought- I thought you were asleep.” she spoke, she took her hands away from his hair, trembling slightly. He had heard her admit out loud what she never should feel for anyone.

Bucky could sense she was panicking. His eyes opening and meeting hers. She tried to remove herself from his grip, but he held on, dragging her down so she couldn’t move.

“don’t leave me” he spoke, vulnerability in his voice.

“Bucky you have to ignore what I just said.”

“what? that you love me?” he asked with a small smile.

“I’m being serious.” she spoke.

“there’s no way i’m ever forgetting that doll.” he said smirking slightly.

“Bucky please”

“no” he said. Sitting up now, he was going to get to the bottom of this. “why can’t you let yourself love me. What are you so scared of?”

Y/n didn’t answer, refusing to look at him.

“y/n. Tell me what you’re so scared of. What we have right here is so rare, I know that i’m never going to love another person like I love you. And you just said you love me too, we would be silly not to fight for this.” Bucky spoke gently.

“you say that- but -” she couldn’t get her words out, tears falling down her face. Bucky reached out wiping them away then taking hold of her jaw gently turning her face so she would look at him.

“but what?”

“but someone else will always come along, someone better - then you’ll leave”

“I can promise you now. I would never ever leave you. I’ve been falling for you since the day we met years ago. No one has ever even turned my head.” he spoke, smiling softly at her. “Plus I could say the same about you. Some other guy might come along and you may pick them over me. You deserve someone who isn’t a monster. But if you’ll have me i’ll happily be yours for as long as you want me.”

“you’re not a monster.” she spoke frowning. Hating how Bucky thought that. Y/n leaned forward, her hand cupping the side of his jaw now and pulling him down to meet her lips in a soft kiss.

“you know, you’re the second person in the entire world that i’ve said those three words to” she said looking down at the bed sheets with an embarrassed smile.

Bucky frowned.

“who was the first?” he asked curiously.

“my mother” she spoke watching his reaction. He chuckled, happy it wasn’t a guy who had broken her heart previously.

“well doll, i’m honored. So what do you say? should we do it properly this time?”

“yes. We definitely should. Would be silly not too right?” she spoke, smiling happily at him.

Tagging people who commented on part 1 just in case you wanted to read a second part. Message me if you want to be untagged. Thank you for reading and commenting on part 1 love you loads xx

@thirstresponsibly @marvelheadquarters @ilovethings-somuch @optimisticheartyouth @overlywhelmedfangirl @who-the-hell-is-sebastianstan @songsaboutcupcakes @makapaka11 @lusty-loki @uselesspileofstressandsadness @iron-dad-is-my-new-kink

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xxchibilifexx · 6 years

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I wish i could kill myself. I even wrote a letter. So if i do it then theywill hear my last words. I want to die. And I just wish Icoukd talk with someoneabout iy. Someone who stands next to me and whowill see how much icryand how much i struggle. Someone who will hugmr and just listen. I want to besavedbysomeone but at thesame time i dont want to bothersomeone wiyh it. It bothers people. They dont want to hear this stuff. People want to behappyand i amjust interrupting them. So i will try to seem happy for them. And give them a positive versiin of myself until i am finally gone. I want to thank my sister for being therefor me and that i was the only person for herwhocould stay byherside. I am glade that i made you smile a lot. And j am glade that you love me somuch. I amhappy that i coul help you tobecome such a good woman. You are strong and you dont need me anymore because youfound your love which is enough. I trust this guy so hebetter take care of you ok? You can have all of my stuff. All those things that I had. Please dont throw my art away. It was the only thing that I loved in this world. If it is possible could you please bring it to a place where its safe or where it can stay forever? It doesnt need to be seen by everyone but just...make it last forever. Thank you for staying so strong. You will become stronger after Ileft. Then there wont be amyone who will bother you. Iwont hold you back and iwont causemore trouble. I wont be a useless person anymore who makes everything more difficult. Iam sorrythat i coukdnthelp you more. But i cant do this anymore. My sister is the only person who i can talk to so there arentreally people who i am close to... But yeah Ihave a friend who is called Vigga. He is beautiful and he trieshis fucking best to stay inthis world. I am proudof him. We havent wrote much but he was the only one who coukd calm me down when i wanted to kill myself. He was strong for the others but not himself. I love you. You are amazing and although you always call me brother, I need to tell you that I had a crush on you but I dont know what a crush even is...so i think its wasnt really real. But you willalawys bemy brother. Those drawing where my last gift for you and I hope that you will remember me. The book was beautiful and I want it to be safe. So sister, please take care of itok? ...this is the pointwhere I shoukd be talking abohtmy parents right? Yeah,but there isnt much. Mother you taughtmethat Iwas useless and that I shoukd hide myself from theworld and be afraid. That iwill neverbe good enough. Thank you, i know that now. You tried to make up your mistakes and be a good "mother", but you will never be one to me. For me you are just a woman who came to late to safe me. Your hugsare could and you voice makes me scared. But hey, you can be happy that you at least try to seem like a good person right? But one thing, if you dare to hurt my sister one more time, I will come and kill you because that is what you deserve. You wanted to protect us from "father"? Well but you didn't even consider that you are the one who should be gone. I never loved you. And I don't want to mention my "father" so I will just say that I never had a father but there was a man who made me feel helpless and lose all the hope that I once had inthis world. You make me sick. And if you dare to contact my sister again I will come and kill you too because you fucked the whole family up and you arent even sorry for it. Be ashamed of yourself. Ok and to end it I just want to say that my brother is amazing. I know that you cant read at all but i want to say that its not yourfault for not understanding us. Youstill make a lot of people happy with your big smile.so be proud of it. I am glade that you are here and dont listen to mother. You don't need to change. You are perfect already. You are happy and that is enough, brother. Keep being awesome my lovely brother. I love you so much, although you don't like hugs but its fine. Now that I amdone with my family and my best friend I just want to let say some randomstuff to some people who made me feel something jnthepast. Lina you are an amazing person and I hope that you get your 15 points in each subject. I alwayswanted to belike you. Be popular. Loving yourself. And being comfortable inany kind of area. You alwaysmake the room shine and tthat is awesome. Kira,Jakob, Vic and Nicoli, I haven't got to know you all as much as Lina but you are all really nice people and wish I could have been a part of your group.but i never really was. Maybe you didnt notice my true feelings but ialwzyswishedthat j could run away. I wasnt shy but terrified to live. But yeah. I apologize for not telling you allmy true name, its John. Dont be surpised about it, Lina and Kira already knew it. Oh and Jakob, you still look like Peter Parker from Spiderman. I am kidding butI really like you a lot, youareawesome. And Vic, I think you are thecoolest girl that iever got to know becauseyou are just being you and its amazing. I wish icoukd have open up to youbecause i liked to be around yoh. But i was alwaysto uncomfortable with myself. But because of you iwas able to sometimes say what i reallythink about others or things. You all alwags took it as a jokebut i was always serious. And Nicoli, ok i dont want to make you uncomfortable but i loved youreyes a lot. Icould starre at them and still be impressed. Ok, so i liked your jokes a lot and wish i could have seen how you dance. You are really a beautiful dude and i hope that you and youtwin brother will find happiness... Kira I am sorry that you got to be the last one. Dont bemad at me. Anyway ireally love your art. It was so wonderful and i was always jealous. I wznted to hate you dumb ass were so nice to me so icouldnt hate you.but i amglade that i meet youbecause you are really a sweetheart and i am surprised that you still donthavea boyfriend yet. You are really such an interesting person and I always wanted to bake a cake with you or dance with you. You guys are too awesome and I thankful for the time that you spend with me but i am angry at myslef that you wasted your tine on me. A person who didnt had a face. It wasntworth it. So please forget me. I alwaysthoughtthat icould tell youall my feelings and that iwant todie but i know itwould bejust me being a burden. So i shut up. You all deserved more than what you got from me. I am really sorry. Now I want to talk about a few people who probably donteven think about me. Karsten, it made my day to see you at least once. I loved yoursmile a lot and it made me happy to see you laugh with yohrfriends. I zlways wznted to beyour friend but i know that i am not good enough. Youare amazing and it was a shock for me when youcalled me John before this spanish lesson. I didnt know that you knew about the name...but it made me happy that you just accepted me as a guy although i ha ent even explained myself or said anything. Youjust respected me and yhis made me cry. I had a huge crush on you and wish i hadmore lessons with you. Iwish we could have kissed each kther and I wishyou were my best friend. Since 2016 i liked you. You are awesome but i think you never liked me as muchas ido. Keep being a sunshine. Mia i loved how good you were in volleyball and i wish i was as good as you are. I admired how nice and supportiveyou were. I wish i could have been brave enough to tell youthat i suffer in every sport lessonthat wehad. That iwas embarrassed to go into the girls changing room. That i was sorry to exist. I neverwanted to come but ididnt wanted to make it more difficult forme than it already js.. youare beautiful and i hope you find a good guy. Johanna, i am thankful for the time that youspend with me. Itwas short but it was so.ething. you saw how much i suffered but you didnt ask me why. No you asked but i used an excuse so that idont need to explain myself.WHY DIDNT YOH ASK ME MORE. WHY DIDNT YOU SAW THAT IWANTED TO DIE. Anyway, i think youare a cool girl and i sometimes wished to be yourboyfriend butyou never sawme as a dude. You justsaw the person who tried to be something thatcant even be figured out. My math teacher and my art teacher were really nice to me too. I alwagswanted totell you both that i ddont feel good but ididnt wanted to say what was in my mind. Itwas to muchtk beexplained. But my art teacheralways knew that i wastrans and he saw that j was getting sicker and sickerso why whywhy WHY DIDNT YOUSTOP AND ASK ME. I SAID IT WZS NOTHING BUT YOU KNOW IT WAS A LIE RIGHTright?? Amywag..you both were my favourite teachers and i am happy that yoh were my LK teachers...please just forget me ok? And to finish this.... Hey my dearest friend Sev, Yes i am sick. Yes I have trouble with staying here. But it wasnt because of me beingtrans. It. Wasnt.BECAUSE.OF.THAT. So shut the fuck up. I am dead because of many reasons and everyone in this letter has caused it. Yes you too. Because you left me and decided that yohr religion is more impirtant then our deep relationship. I hate you. Why did you leave? If you werentgonethan this woukdnt happen. But well you alwayscared aboutyourself anyway. I am glade that i helped youto find your way.are you happy? Well probably because you dont need tosee or hang outwith me anymore. Guess what iwillbe gone from this world too haha so youdknt need to be afraid to see me i thecity or street! Are you haply now? Good luck with yourlife. And Bas, I am glade that wehad a good ti.e together.yoh were honest and brave. I admire that. Be happy. I dont know anyone else who I know in real life so let me talk about you gugs here. @fallcter i am gladethat you are here and that you wanted tohelp me. My blog is useless andso am I. Ihope that youwill get better soon.idonthave hope for myself but you will make it. @snow-wiz20 thank you for cheeringme up when i felt lonely and messed up. I dont knowhow to thank you..but i am sorrythag i wasted your time and I hooe that you dknt have to gothrough thesame thing as me... @nouga-agathe-zed hay ehm, i am really glade that iwasable to get to know yoh, itwas interestingto meet sucha person and i wish icoukd have been a better person.i wishi was more funny and thatiwas more joyful....what youdo it amazibgand yourart is nicetoo...i am sorry that i took qso much time from you and i hope that your life will be nottoo stressful.. This is not a suicide note...it seems like one right? Haha yeah...i needed to say it I am sorry if j worried everyone but i just need toqay stuff like this I dont know when i wi b gone so j alreadg wrote this..i am sorry Dont beworried about me

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language-rxgers · 6 years

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I was tagged by @lilmissperfectlyimperfect, thank you for tagging me even though I was prob just one of the first 11 blogs to show up when you chose your tags, but still thank you :) Also this will probably be hella long because idk how to write a short answer.

Here’s the rules:

Post the rules

Answer the questions given to you by the tagger (my questions for my tagged blogs will be found at the end of the post)

Write 11 questions of your own

And tag 11 people

1. Your favourite season?

My favourite season is probably winter because while winters where I live are cold as balls there’s really lovely lights on outside all the time and it’s just really cozy inside :)

2. If you could have a chat with a dead celebrity/actor/historical figure/musician who would it be?

I would have to say I would chat with Carrie Fisher. I think that she just had such an interesting life, and she seems like she would be so funny to talk to. Her role as Princess Leia was one of the first strong female characters I was introduced to as a kid and growing up with Star Wars being one of my dad’s favourite movie franchises, I was very influenced by her work.

3. Favourite holiday destination?

Gee, I’ve never really gone on a holiday vacation except to Disney World once, but I do love going to my cousins’ cabin over Christmas and summer breaks. It’s really great just being with the family, and the cabin has such a cozy atmosphere it’s like I’m in my own little bubble.

4. What would you do if you could be president/PM?

I would definitely give a shitload more funds to the education budget for our First Nations students. In my province, First Nations students receive about half the funds per student that a public or catholic school student like me would receive, which I think is grossly unfair and absolutely ridiculous. I think everyone deserves the same opportunities to succeed, no matter their status, and that can absolutely start with giving on-reserve schools the funds they need and deserve.

5. Favourite musician of all time?

Oh lordy, I really really love Led Zeppelin, Glorious Sons and The Hip, but on the other hand, I’m a sucker for oldies like Elvis and Bing Crosby. There’s too many!

6. What superpower would you want to have?

I would probably want to have something that I could use to help people, like super healing that I could transfer to others (as you may have seen in some of my fics lol) or just all around super enhancement like the Super Serum. Or maybe enhanced knowledge, memory and learning, like I could learn languages really quickly and remember important dates and events. Wow, I’m kinda boring lol

7. If you could live in another country for the rest of your life which would it be?

I would want to live in Finland. Idk, I just feel like things are pretty good in Finland, like it’s beautiful, safe, clean, and there’s good food. Of course, I don’t know the language, but that’s where the super learning would come in ;)

8. Favourite food?

My favourite food is prob either cheesecake or tourtière, which is basically just a meat pie, but homemade really is the best

9. Who is your biggest inspiration?

I think my biggest inspiration would be the character of Steve Rogers. He’s good and just and he fights for the little guy because he knows no one else will. Even before the serum, he was always standing up for what he believed in, and being a generally shy person, I was always really inspired by how such a small man could be so strong. Idk, be it in the comics, movies, whatever, Steve Rogers is a character who represents everything I wish I could be, and I know he has influenced me to try to follow his example.

10. Book to movie or book to tv show?

I wasn’t really sure what this one meant, but I think it means what’s me favourite book turned to movie or tv show? And if so, then (obvi) prob the Marvel Cinematic Universe (if comic books counts) or Harry Potter.

11. Favourite thing about where you live?

I live in Canada, so while I know that there’s a lot of jokes about how Canadians talk weird and are all too nice and whatnot, I love that we kinda run with it. Like the other day I literally had a Canadian showdown with a guy who was trying to turn into his driveway where I was walking on the sidewalk, we were both trying to get the other to go first. Idk I just think that shit’s hilarious, and it happens more than you’d think. Also, free healthcare is always kinda nice.

Alright, sorry for the rambling... here are my questions:

1. What’s your favourite holiday movie?

2. If you could travel to three places in the whole world all-expenses-paid, where would you go?

3. Coffee, tea or hot chocolate?

4. Who’s your favourite superhero?

5. Favourite place to go when you need to think, study, or whatever?

6. Favourite day of the week and why?

7. Favourite pastime activity?

8. Do you play any instruments? If so, then what?

9. Song/book/movie that affected you significantly?

10. Favourite movie and book of all time?

11. If you had the opportunity to ask any actor/historical or political figure/musician/etc. (dead or alive) one question, who would you choose and what would you ask?

@the-instrumental-mortal @satans-knitting-club @palaiasaurus64 @crazy4thewinbros @winterboobaer @chrevastan @e-g-b-o-k @viollettes @ilovethings-somuch @pitubea1910 @avengerofyourheart

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fantastic-fantasy-fanfics · 7 years

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WHEN YOU TAKE THE MASK OFF (Part 10)

Series Summary: Frank’s one-night-stands turns into more than he thought, and this girl is more than she seems.

A/N: there is a serious trigger in here: abuse. This chapter will be talking about it a lot, but when I go into major detail, I will mark it with “’[[ ]]”. Even though I have marked it, I highly advise you avoid this chapter is abuse triggers you.

Frank Adler x reader

Word count: 1149

Summary: Frank finally understands what’s been going on. But now he has to rescue (Y/N) from her own home.

Warnings: fighting, destruction of special objects, insults, injuries, abuse (the actual abuse will be emphasized with “[[ ]]” at the beginning and end if you need/want to skip that part)

PART 9

(GIFs not mine)

Everything hurt… There were marks all over your body, bruises all over your neck, and blood dried onto your skin. Ever since Frank left you, the beatings had been far more frequent. And normally, Paul would keep the marks he left on you hidden, like on your back or thighs. But, now that you had been locked in the house, away from other people's prying eyes, he would hurt you and leave a mark anywhere and anytime he thought you deserved. But what really twisted the knife, happened just hours ago...

“(Y/N)... what the fuck is this?” Paul asked as you limped down the stairs. Paul had left a gnarly bruise on your hip when he threw you down the stairs last week, which made it very painful to walk.

As soon as you got to the bottom of the stairs and held your balance, you looked at up the object he was holding. Your eyes went wide as you saw what it was. It was one of your sketchbooks. The only thing that kept you sane during this toxic relationship with Paul, was now being held in his hands.

“Give it back!” you shouted, lunging at him to try and grab the notepad out of his hands. But he quickly dodged you and gripped the book tighter. “Answer the fucking question!” he scolded as you tried to regain your balance with your bad hip after jumping at him.

“It’s… it’s my sketchbook,” you admitted timidly, slowly backing away from him as you noticed his eyes glowing red with rage.

“Not the book you moron, this!” Paul opened up and pointed to the group portrait you made for Mary’s birthday a couple months ago. Your heart started racing as you realized why he was mad. “That’s how long you had been fucking this guy?! Long enough to start making shitty art about him?! You fucking whore!” Paul screeched, slamming the book closed and slapping you across the face with it.

The sharp impact caused you to stumble and fall, leaving a bright red mark and a slight bruise on your face. As soon as the pain numbed out a little, you looked back up at your boyfriend. “I’ll show you, bitch!” he spat through gritted teeth, stomping into the kitchen. As quickly as you could, you followed him, groping the walls as you tried to hold yourself up; whatever he was doing could not be good.

Paul stood by the sink, holding a lighter and your sketchbook, looking at you with an evil glint in his eye. “No…” you whimpered, knowing exactly what was running through his head. He didn’t listen to your plea.

Paul lit the flame of the lighter, holding it up to your precious sketchbook, setting it on fire. “NO!” you cried as he threw the burning book into the sink. Running up to the source of the flames, you quickly turned the faucet on, extinguishing the fire as fast as you could.

… It was destroyed...

Your one coping method, the place you held your hopes, dreams, and emotions, the only place of peace you had left… was destroyed. The cover was ruined, the paper pages inside were mostly ash, and whatever survived was severely damaged. With tears in your eyes, you picked up the wet, ashy book, and held it to your chest. He destroyed it.

[[Soft sobs escaped your lips as you became too overwhelmed with fear, anger, and hurt, but Paul would have none of it. “Don’t you dare cry, you little bitch!” Paul scolded, yanking your hair back, causing you to yelp in pain and drop the sketchbook. “You’re the one who decided to be a little slut and fuck another guy behind my back!” Paul slammed your head down on the corner of the table, giving you a nasty gash on your forehead. A few dishes and a chair were knocked off the table, creating a mess on the floor.

“Stop crying!” Paul demanded, grabbing you by the hair again and throwing you down onto the floor. He didn’t stop, he was too jacked up on boiling rage, he kept going.

Grabbing you by the arm, he slammed you against the wall, pinning you there by your neck. “You think it’s okay to do things like that, huh?” he spat. You couldn’t respond, you were just clutching his wrist, struggling for air. “Well I don’t like it!” he screamed, throwing you over against the cabinet.

With a loud thud, you hit your spine against the edge of the counter before falling to the ground. A cluster of pots and pans were knocked down to the floor, echoing a loud clatter as they landed. You lay there on the floor with them, struggling to stand up as you coughed, desperate to get oxygen into your lungs.

Showing no mercy, Paul approached you, towering over to your quivering form as you looked up at him with desperate, pleading eyes. With no warning, he kicked you right in the stomach, making you gag and nearly throw up.]]

“I’m going out,” he grumbled, grabbing his jacket that was draped over one of the dining room chairs, “this place better be cleaned up by the time I’m back,". With the loud slamming of the door, Paul was gone, leaving you on the floor, bruised, bleeding, and crying.

Eventually, you had been able to crawl across the kitchen to retrieve your scorched sketchbook, but after that, you were too exhausted to move anymore. So, you sat on the floor, sobbing and clutching your sketchbook with your back against the sink cabinets.

You had been sobbing for hours, unable to stop as your body and heart hurt from what just took place. But your heart stopped hurting and started racing when you heard the lock of the door jiggling. You seized up with fear, realizing you hadn’t even begun cleaning the kitchen like Paul had ordered you to. He was going to kick your ass when he saw the huge mess!

Curling up into a tight ball, you slowly inched towards the corner, hoping to turn yourself invisible or disappear altogether. The lock stopped moving, but now the door was being pounded into. “BANG!… BANG!… BANG!…” it went, making you suck in a gasp of air with each loud, startling thud.

The noises got louder and louder, making you shake with terror until “CRASH!” the door was kicked in. The man making all the noise stood in the door frame, breathing heavily as adrenalin pumped through his veins. He stepped into the house, taking quiet, but firm steps across the floor as he approached you. You didn’t dare look up, fearing he’d beat you again, but you could still clearly hear his voice. “(Y/N)?” he called softly.

“... Frank?”

A/N: only a couple parts left! After that, I’m DEFINITELY writing little one-shot sequels!

TAGLIST:

@xkaciesearlex @theycallmebecca @victorianfancy @addictionmarvel @always-an-evans-addict @a-court-of-stydia @captainrogerss @calicokitkat @mumbles411 @buckyshattergirl @suddenly-im-helpless @katiew1973 @meatballevan @jojomonsterbunni @irepeldirt @imagine-cats96 @bitchy-tacos @ilovethings-somuch @callie-swagg1 @loricameback @umwhatandrea

#frank adler #frank adler x reader #frank x reader #gifted #gifted movie #chris evans #when you take the mask off #wyttmo series #tw: abuse #triple f #Fantastic-fantasy-fanfics

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frosted-starlight · 7 years

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Literally just scrolled through The Mummy 2017 tag and.. wow lotta hate okay. *sits in corner* Guess I’m just sit here because I actually genuinely liked the movie. I’m obsessed and can’t wait for more. Though one thing I do agree on is that yeah I wish Russell Crowe and Jake Johnson got a bit more screen-time. I really love their characters and wow Sofia did a freaking great job I love her somuch! Tbh Tom is never gonna replace Brendan Fraser, I mean guys c’mon Brendan is freaking irreplaceable! He is The Original! He will forever be our first! Nothing is ever gonna change that. No hate to Tom though I love him loads. I just don’t think he and the whole film deserves so much hate. Sigh.

#please don't kill me #i mean no harm #sigh #why must there always be fighting #why can't we all just be happy and have cookies #cookies are nice #who doesn't like cookies?#the mummy 2017 #the mummy returns #russell crowe #jake johnson #tom cruise #sofia boutella

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gluing-myself-together-blog · 7 years

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Dear Dad

Dear Dad,

This is the only time I am ever going to call you ‘Dad’ so I hope you cherish it.

For a long time, I asked myself, ‘Why is he my father?’ My Mother is the best woman I know. She deserved, deserves and will deserve better than you.

I deserved better than you.

You may or may not have loved me when I was small; I will never know because I cannot remember and when Mom tries to regale me with stories of my childhood with you in them as a positive force, I can never believe her.

Not because I don’t want to, but because you have never ever been gentle with me.

Since I was a child, you have always been so hard on me. You called me a wedge between yours and Mom’s relationship when I was 8 years old. You can deny all you want about you never having said it, but it is one of the strongest and most painful memories I have about you.

You were always the most physically abusive with me. I remember once, while praying in front of you kneeling down, you hit me from behind on the back of my head because you wanted me to pray loudly. You could have always used your words, like Mom did, but you never missed an opporutnity to physically beat me, dominate me, overpower me, in order to put me in my place.

If things didn’t go your way, from setting the table properly before the family ate to not putting something back in its place, you made sure to beat me thoroughly; so much so, that I would be gasping for breath as my tears choked me.

I remember thinking to myself very very early on, as a child, that if I had a hope of escaping this hell, I had to learn how to protect myself. This was also a major factor in making me a tomboy and somebody who preferred to be roughhoused by boys. I didn’t ever want to be caught dead being a female or doing anything feminine. I kept thinking to myself that if I hung around with boys more and they hurt me and punched me and played with me in the way only boys know how to, then maybe when you hurt me and punched me, slapped me and belted me it wouldn’t hurt that much because I already had practice at it.

I remember you being so frustrated with your life and your lack of a job, that you would continuously beat me for no reason. When you exhausted your anger towards me, you would start belting Ade and Jack. I remember protecting them with my body from your blows while you hit them because I knew how debilitating the pain made me feel. Now, none of them might remember it, but I do. It’s easy to forget pain when the blows haven’t been rained upon your body.

I already feel somuch lighter writing this and I know that I am one step closer to freeing myself from my bondage and being the best possible version of me that I can be.

I remember how your constant emotional, physical, mental and psychological abuse led me to hate all men in a romantic and sexual sense. I kept comparing any hypothetical future relationships I would have to the one I have with you. I kept constantly thinking to myself, ‘Even if I do end up in a relationship with a really nice guy, who am I going to go crying to if he physically or, God forbid, sexually abuses me? I would have no one to blame but myself.’ After all, I had lived so many years with you, a man who vowed to love me, protect me and cherish me as a daughter but never had and never did. And if I couldn’t learn from my mistakes while living with you, I would be the only one to blame if this took place again with a boy or a man who was a stranger. This mentality is called ‘victim blaming’ and it would take me many years to read up on it, identify with it myself and understand what I went through. My heart would bleed for the trauma you put that littlegirl through.

There was a small part of me that loved your beatings and beltings. In my child’s mind, at least I was getting ‘love’ and attention from you in some way. It would take me a good portion ofmy childhood to understand that this was wrong and not even close to what love is supposed to mean.

When I was small, there were a million times you tried to belittle me, give me bad words, shout at me, be rude to me, hurt me - both verbally and physically - in front of family, family friends, my own friends, strangers and countless others.

I remember once when I had brought my friend Blanc home, you had told me, ‘You have all the time to go out and fuck around but you can’t keep your bastard room clean.’ I remember walking right back out of the house with Blanc, feelingso humiliated and she asked me why you were talking to me like that. I told her that that is the way you always talk to me.

You smashed the buckle of your jean’s belt on my head, when I was giving Jack a bath. Mom had gone to school that Friday as it was a PTA. You disconnected the landline so I wouldn’t be able to call her and tell her what you did. There was no reason for you to hit me that day; you just did it because you were frustrated with your life.

Mom used to always tell me to be quiet and forget it or offer it up to the Lord or not to bother because there was nothing anybody could do or to forgive you because you were frustrated with your life since losing your job. I know I should be at least a little mad at her for excusing your behaviour for so many years but I can’t help but feel sorry for her. Sorry that she has to drag around your abusive, bitter, mean, wretched, frustrated, angry, hateful and lazy ass until the day one of you conks off.

You’ll notice I never said ‘useless’. That is because being a horrible human being is worse that not bringing home the bacon.

You could have been the best stay-at-home dad but you chose to make you life and the lives of the people around you as miserable as possible.

I used to hate the hypocrite you were.

Going to church and showing people such a holy and do-no-wrong side of you, while you came home and belted your children and cursed at them.

Looking back, there is so much morethat I feel needs to be said. You need to be reminded of your numerous sins against me when I wasan innocent child unable to defend myself.

But you know what?

I’m tired of lugging around all the shit you ever did to me.

My soul is weary. It has been weary for a long, long time.

With everyday that passes, it gets wearier.

I am tired.

You are not going to control my life anymore.

I am going to try and be a better person, to the people around me and the people who love me.

I am not going to let every interaction I ever had with you screw me up for life.

I am going to be kinder to myself and unlearn the harshness and strictness you forced upon me in my childhood. I am going to treat myself with the kid gloves you never did.

I am going to transform every hateful and negative word, thought and action you have ever made against me, into positivity.

There have been countless times where you have subtly verbally jabbed at me time and time again, without saying it directly to my face. Yes, you will do it again and yes, it will hurt. But that will only solidify my resolve to never have anything to do with you. Because you will never change.

You will treat Ade and Jack better. You always have. And yes, it will hurt. But I know that I will always havemy Father in Heaven who is so much more than you can ever be and who will never stop loving me. I will also be happy for Ade and Jack, because at least they get to experience a side of you that I never have and never will.

You might say that I am blaming all my problems on you. From your point of view, it might seem that way. But for me, this is managing to finally put down on paper everything I have ever felt with regards to your interaction with me.

You will hurt me in the future. It might be something you say - making underhanded jabs at me - or do - treating other people’s children better than me. But you know what? That’s okay. Because I know you’ll never change. No one can teach an old dog new tricks.

You are now in the twilight of your lifeand it is too late for you to change or become a better person.

But I am in the prime of my life and I have my whole future ahead of me. I cannot let something as insignificant as you sabotage my whole future.

I will end this cycle of abuse with me and I will not carry it forward to people in my own life and the people I have yet to meet.

Your poison and trash belongs with you; in the past.

I will embark on many loving, stable, respectful, good, positive, nurturing, enriching, physically healthy, mentally healthy, emotionally healthy, spiritually healthy, psychologically healthy and sexually healthy relationships throughout my life.

I will lose my weight and be as fit as possible for me. The small, scared child within me will stop thinking that her fat is a protection for her vulnerabilities against your belt and your blows.

The small scared child within me will stop thinking of her fat as a protection against the world.

For now, we live under the same roof;

Do not ever think it is an invitation to interact with me.

I have interacted with you enough to know that you are someone I should never interact with.

I have so much love to give and just because you have never been receptive to that love doesn’t mean nobody else will be.

I forgive you. For all the pain you have ever caused me.

I am also forgetting. A day will come when you will be nothing more than a speck in my memory.

You can tell the whole world I am your daughter.

However, I, your ‘daughter’, will never recognize you.

I know you will hurt me and continue to do so; it will bring back old and painful wounds for me and all those negative emotions will pour in my heart. I will cry, hatred will grow for you and I will ask myself, ‘Why did you forgive him?’

The answer will come,

‘Because you are not defined by the pain he causes you.

You have always, are and will be something he cannot touch.

You will always be bigger than him.

You will always be greater than him.

You will always be better than him.

You will always be more beloved than him.

One instance of pain is nothing compared to your place in the universe, the grand scheme of things. Nothing compared to the plan your Father in Heaven has for you.’

And I will smile and bless you while you hurt me.

Because I am and I am going to be so much more than you will ever be.

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