#guys bo-katan is so hot

[mintyimperiatrix]

listen i love Din to bits, he’s one of my favourite Star Wars characters and he was a fucking badass with the Darksaber. HOWEVER…

clearly Bo-Katan owns this weapon. its hers, there is no competition. she held it for one minute and did everything the Armourer said Din should be doing with it. it is simply Hers and we’ve never seen anyone flow so well with that weapon. i love you Din but the Darksaber was reunited with it’s true owner this week

[gffa]

You know what?  I had a good time with the Mando s3 premiere!  It legitimately was a lot of fun to watch and I found I couldn’t wait to get on-line and make shitposts about it, which is the truest sign of my affection for something.

How could I hate that they chose the objectively funniest route for explaining Grogu’s return happening in a completely separate series:  DON’T EXPLAIN SHIT.  THROW YOUR AUDIENCE IN THE DEEP END OF THE POOL.  SINK OR SWIM, ASSHOLES.

There were purrgils!  We all know we’re never getting a proper Rebels sequel, but I will take the small crumb of seeing my beloved space whales.

Greef Karga’s fashion game is ON POINT, that man was looking absolutely fucking fine, finally we have a worthy cape successor to Lando Calrissian.  The man brought along two droids to keep the hem of his cape off the floor, for fuck’s sake.  #ICONIC

KALEVALA IN LIVE ACTION!?!?  GASP.

Bo-Katan’s wig is a THOUSAND PERCENT BETTER this season, like where the fuck was this previously, this looks so much more like her!

Speaking of my beloved hot mess of a wife who is also a bitch:  I am THRIVING with how angry and messy she is, lounging around on her family’s throne in the castle on Kalevala like she doesn’t care, when she is burning with how much she cares.  Everyone has abandoned Mandalore, she feels utterly defeated, and she is so angry but so broken about it.  Girl, I am making you some soup right this minute, even though I know you’re just going to throw it at the wall in a fit of anger.  Love you, gorgeous.

GROGU DOING THE SPINNY THING AND LAUGHING, SPEED DEMON BABY IS BACK

I thought I was going to hate the Anzellans being put in this, but the MINUTE they started talking and going “Bad baby.” I was irl cackling, PUT THOSE GUYS IN EVERYTHING, THEY ARE HILARIOUS.

Grogu trying to squeeze one of the Anzellans because he wanted a pet was TOP TIER COMEDY.

And on the opposite end of the emotional scale, jesus FUCK IG-11′s torso crawling across the floor to try to kill a baby, practically fucking skittering at warp speed, was TERRIFYING.

I had a good time!  I have affection for everyone in this bar!  That’s all I’m gonna ask of this show.

[phoenixyfriend]

Star Wars AU Masterlist: General AUs

Navigation Post

Fun fact, tumblr allows 250 links on the old editor and 100 in the new. So. Network of masterlists. This is one of sixteen masterposts I have for Star Wars. These are just the most ‘generic’ of the AUs.

(Also this post has been randomly deleted at least once so uhhhh great thanks to the wayback machine holy shit.)

RANDOM AUS IN CANONVERSE

Misconceptions AU

Fem!Obi-Wan - not the same AU, but related: hair and makeup

Magically attractive Obi-Wan

Obi-Wan is Immortal (and it’s not great for his self preservation)

Padme/Sabe timeline

Jedi who leave the Order as a way to save it

“AUs where Obi-Wan gets adopted by Mandalorians” but I made it pro-Jedi and also Obitine

I did not know that about Haiti, whoops

Omegaverse Jedi should be LESS intense about sexism, not more

Pre-TPM

Obi-Wan fakes his death on Melida/Daan

Dooku knows Jango before Galidraan AU

Slutty Xanatos

Sharad Hett finds baby Anakin in Mos Espa and has to Deal With That

Shake that (Stewjoni) Bagpipe - various instruments with various characters

Anakin & Obi-Wan age swap, ft. Anakin and Satine being saltmates

Mand’alor Satine

Rael finds and keeps Komari - Expanded

Force-Sensitive Satine Kryze

Xanatos-Obi age swap (Xanatos/Bo-Katan)

Aayla/Bo-Katan meet during The Year On The Run

Quinlan meets toddler Anakin pre-canon, and Obi-Wan has a contact on-planet (Shmi) when TPM comes around

Raised a Sith Anakin, except Dooku snaps up Anakin and his mom from Mustafar since he’s better at Childcare than Sidious (who is annoyed at this situation)

That time Qui-Gon turned into a tree (via @willowcrowned, with fic by @smilebackwards)

Pre-TCW

Anakin&Obi-Wan, Jedi Stuff

Anakin’s paternal DNA came from Palpatine via Sith Magic

Anakin Skywalker, Secret Son of a Disgraced King

* Kick Up Your Heels - The Summary

Drag Queen AU - Oh, That’s Just Ben

Obi-Wan Wins a Moon

Tiniest Assistant Teacher

Anakin Loses his Connection to the Force, Time For Career Guidance - Addendum

Amnesiac Qui-Gon

Taking out Obi-Wan Kenobi (MaulObi)

Murder Puppy Anakin

Anakin the Snake - This AU is in the Wider AUs masterlist

One of several reasons Qui-Gon may not have been the best teacher for Anakin

Anakin’s teenage rebellion

Through strange coincidence, Obi-Wan and Shmi are actually stepsiblings

The Jedi are Kyber

Best masters for Anakin when Obi-Wan and Mace aren’t available

Obikin Sleeping Beauty AU - TCW Anakin finds a hot guy in cryo, turns out it’s Qui-Gon’s missing padawan from like twelve years ago

Mandalorian and Clone Stuff

Bo-Katan Decides She’s Siding With Family

* Kamino Belongs to the Clones (ft. banana)

Secret Clones AU

Anakin finds the clones a year early

In which Bo-Katan, or possibly Jango, breaks the cycle of violence that raised them

The Darksaber Picks Satine

Sith&Other Stuff

Ventress vs. Absolute Primogeniture

Maul ‘acquires’ Ferus Olin

Dooku Acquires a YA Sith Maul, following up on Sidious’s notes: I can teach you the ways of the Dark Side. Dooku, following literal decades of habit: …I can domesticate him.

Dooku becomes Count of Serenno… and brings the Jedi with him

Dooku hasn’t Fallen yet, and adopts teen Ventress, who has

An Accountant in Theed

Parenting Focus

Obitine Raise Anakin, ft. Grampa Dooku

* Mand’Alor Korkie Kenobi

The secret accidental Obitine baby isn’t Korkie, it’s Bo-Katan - Bokkin addendum

Obitine’s Pregnancy Scare

Obi, Protect Them

She’s Little Sister Shaped

Power Limiter Robes

Quinlan’s Smear Campaign

Artoo and Threepio adopt Boba

* Congratulations, Master Jinn, It’s a Boy!

Anakin isn’t human and reproduces via Space Parthenogenesis (and possibly lays an egg)

A “Stewjoni are all capable of pregnancy” fic where Obi-Wan offers to have Bail and Breha’s heir for them

Calligraphy I prompted from @theshitpostcalligrapher

Bo-Katan is Korkie’s bio mom, but got him removed to finish gestation in a tube (like clones) as soon as she found out because she was sixteen and not at all ready

Transmasc Obi-Wan babytraps ‘escaped Naboo intact’ Maul, who is now having difficulty deciding what to do with himself - Why we love MaulObi

TCW

Main: Anakin

Anakin Assists the Jedi Council While On Medical Leave (with a Horrible Miscommunication Addendum by @willowcrowned) - Now with a longform (and really good) fic on AO3! Sith Lightning, Paperwork, and Other Extreme Sports by @deadstarsrisingsblog

Chip Reactivation AU

The Romance Movie Curse - Ficlet written by @chaoticevilbean

Deserters? What deserters?

Anakin accidentally used the Force to make people like him, and is now panicking in an attempt to undo All of it (especially Padme)

Mace gets de-aged, hooks up with Anakin (much to the distress of Obi-Wan and Depa)

* Ficlet: Because I Fell Too

In for a Penny (Anakin confesses to the Tuskens)

Truth Serum AU (Anakin confesses to the Tuskens) - It’s all fun and games until it isn’t

In Which Palpatine Leaves the Door Open (Anakin confesses to the Tuskens) - A conjugal visit

Voluntary servitude (slavery) as the highest form of penitence and reparation on Tatooine, Anakin’s apology to the Tuskens - A different response - The context of Anakin’s childhood

Anakin invents a twin brother

Undercover Anakin&Mace have to pretend to be father and son

Anakin becomes aware of the fourth wall and ‘solves’ his problems by leaking nudes and otherwise fucking up his life “The way to break free of a story’s gravity is to consider every possible option and then pick the one that makes the absolute least sense.”

Sith Heir Anakin arranged marriage to second daughter of Mandalore Bo-Katan

Everyone Anakin meets is obsessed with keeping him safe post-Mortis and he hates it (horror)

Main: Obi-Wan

Mandalorian Mamma Mia (AKA Korkie lies about his dad)

(Most Obi-Wan focused AUs are in other lists).

Main: Ahsoka

Ahsoka gets Winter-Soldiered (This already exists and is much better than I could have managed)

Artificially Evil Ahsoka (Mortis had some lasting effects)

Ahsoka accidentally becomes a Film Noir Private Detective after leaving the Jedi, and derails all of Palpatine’s plots

Ahsoka’s crush on Barriss is “notice me senpai”

Bosoka arranged marriage when?

Main: Disaster Trio

Ghost on the Wire AU

* Anakin’s DNA Wish

Even Ventress Sees You’re Dad - Anakin talks too much

Disaster Lineage on SpaceTube

SW Prequels “Watch Your Own Series” AU (chrono)

Anakin & Barriss

Obi-Wan joins Dooku in AotC as a ploy to gather information, fails upwards

Anakin Accuses Obi-Wan of being Blonde

Sudden Soulmarks

Ahsoka accidentally outs Palpatine as a Sith through the use of incomprehensible emoji jibberish

Main: Clones

In which Cody and Rex Accidentally God-Mode - Kix Fights Rex’s Blood

Furbie the Coruscant Guard

Clint and Matt

Ghost Kitten Clones

Keep the Jedi Out of It, now with art by @lemoneste

In Which Fox Arrests His Boss - On a Technicality

Bly’s Glitching Brain Chip

Commander Fox is the Organas’ sugar baby (non-sexual, mostly)

Rex/Ventress - stranded together

Sponsor a Battalion

Fox arrests some senators for littering

Cody and Fox become building safety inspectors post-war

Clones deserve to be frat boys. Also date Anakin.

Rex/Barriss, in which Barriss is Fucked Up (but trying to do better)

Echo takes Dogma under his wing

Main: Other

Sidious and the Worst Kidnapping Ever

Who Gave Ventress the Keys? - Additions by others

Yoda commits a murder, blames the dementia

Shrink ‘em

Necromancied Qui-Gon kidnaps Ventress (she’s a Free Grad Student) - Addendum

Ventress Gets Married to Fuck Up Sidious’s Day

Dookasta interviews/negotiations, TCW as the galaxy’s ugliest divorce

Korkie picks up the Darksaber, and sees Dead Mand’alore

Satine manages to piss off both sides of the war by taking in defecting clones

Parenting Focus

Ahsoka Steals a Baby

Rattatak Death Swap

Baby 501st Legion

Oh, So THAT’S What People Think

Fairy Jango Fett

* Big Sis ‘Soka

Anakin volunteers to be a surrogate (the timing is… not optimal)

Trans Anakin explains that he is NOT the father

* Implications of a Miracle Pregnancy

If Obi-Wan gets pregnant, Anakin’s going to be the one getting invested in the future nibling

Grieving with Newborns (Padme still dies, and Anakin goes to Obi-Wan for help) - Addendum - Addendum 2

Ventress gets pregnant as a get-out-of-jail card

Anakin and Obi-Wan babytalk the twins differently

Post-O66

* Eldritch Ahsoka (1k plus notes)

- Speaker of Mortis

The Mortis Song

Emperor Bail - Addendum

Pirate Mace (Mace survives O66, joins Hondo) - Tax Evasion

Yularen’s Radio Show

Yularen undercover on the Death Star (feeding info to the Rebellion)

* When Vader Fails (in the Wrong Direction) (quick note)

* Owen Needs a Favor

Korkie gets dragged along on Bo-Katan’s insurgency plots

What’s Korkie Up To?

Barriss breaks out of prison and incidentally joins up with Rex

Barriss breaks out of prison and finds Ahsoka because she needs an external moral compass

Quinlan finds, frees, and press-gangs Bly into helping him fuck up the Empire, in Aayla’s memory/honor

Ventress Bothers Darth Vader

Bo-Katan bothers Ben Kenobi

Vader hallucinates so intensely that he destroys the Empire because he talked to a ghost who was disappointed in him.

Vader gets turned into an anime waifu and everyone hates that

A trad Mando of Din’s type finds Merrin, and decides to return her to her people. The only one still alive that they know of is Ventress.

Padme’s Handmaidens: Let’s Scam The Empire Into Thinking Amidala Is Still Alive

Original Trilogy and Beyond

Han’s Anti-Force Force-Sensitivity

Bumbling Vampire Han Solo

The ghosts of all those murdered Jedi Kids are haunting Vader but he’s just… too pathetic for them to try that hard

Mace’s ghost mentors Luke - Jocasta’s ghost mentors Leia

ANH Obi-Wan pretends to be senile, lost, and politely befuddled on the Death Star when noticed by Stormtroopers

Rex and Wolffe, dying Cody

Boba Accidentally Acquires The Darksaber, And Now He Can’t Get Rid Of It

Vader skypes his kids from jail

Mpreg Vader - This AU is in the Wider AUs Masterlist

Trans Vaderkin pregnancy, prenatal addiction to the Dark Side - Followup

Darth Vader gets turned into a cute teen girl and makes it everyone’s problem

Luke finds Decrepit Old Hermit Dooku hiding out on some mountain and recruits him to the new Jedi School before anyone can tell him why that’s a bad idea

The Mandalorian:

Ahsoka’s got Beef (The Mandalorian)

Boba’s Older Brothers

No, REALLY Old

Whacking sticks

Maul’s Back - Now with art by @its-not-a-pen

What I would want out of The Mandalorian            

Bo-Katan knows Luke is Vader’s kid, keeps her mouth shut

Bo-Katan fucking with Obi-Wan’s Ghost

Get some actual Mando’a in here, Disney, you cowards

BobaDin but Fennec’s making fun of Boba the whole time

Satine is one of the darksaber ghosts - Addendum

Tradition as Din’s Covert vs. Tradition as Death Watch

Middle-Aged Foppish Duke in Distress Korkie is very enamored by Mand’alor Din regularly rescuing him

[lizzy-bennet]

thinking about what a wild 24hrs bo katan has had. like, it’s #sadgirlhours when the shiny guy who accidentally stole the dark saber from her and is inadvertently responsible for the aforementioned #sadgirlhours waltzes into her house with his green wizard baby and is like, hi, i took off my helmet and people saw my big, beautiful brown eyes so now i must bathe in ~special water~ or else i won’t ever be allowed to go to family reunions again. and she’s like, ugh. fine. whatever. and she thinks that’s it, but then his ship shows up again, so she can’t even continue sulking on her throne and listening to all by myself (max rebo version) in peace, and right when she’s about to tell din off for interrupting her depression era, it’s revealed that his space hot rod is actually being driven by a droid with anxiety issues and a baby. and bo katan is ABSOLUTELY not becoming a parent rn, thank you very much, so she has to go get baby his dad back, trust said baby - who does not talk - to guide her through the creepy ruins of her ravaged home while fighting off various aliens and droids popping out at her like she’s in a video game, and save damsel-in-distress din djarin from being roasted like a rotisserie chicken. THEN this guy still insists that he must bathe and be redeemed, so bo’s like, i might as well go with you to save myself a trip back because i KNOW you’re going to need my help again. which he does. and she doesn’t even get to see any mando beefcake for her troubles, because this guy insists on going swimming in full body armor, BUT she does see a mandalorian cryptid, which was definitely not supposed to even EXIST, so there’s that. mind blown. and then a bunch of idiots she stole from blow up her castle. and she accidentally joins a cult. bo katan and the terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day. 

[bolithesenate]

hello i would like you to choose violence. questions 1, 7, and 13?

AND VIOLENCE WE SHALL CHOOSE

1 - the character everyone gets wrong

can I say Yoda?

i feel like theres two camps in fandom: either he's a Fun Lil Guy Who Eats Frogs And Talks (sometimes helpful) Riddles OR he is The Source Of All Our Problems (derogatory)

and make no mistake. i've been part of group 2 before and especially in EU material there are a lot of... questionable choices made by the man. deeply questionable. but I lso feel like there's no one really tackling the sheer existential horror that is yoda's life?

he is older than all his peers. if we look at grogu, then he must have, already as a *baby*, seen his friends grow up, live and die like like fireflies, shining bright for only the briefest moment. basically all of his padawans are dead. his padawans' padawans as well.even with the extended livespans that jedi have, he is so old that he literally speaks different

idk, i think i just want to see more people look at this weird green guy and really THINK about why he is how he is, bad sides and all

(and yes, I also could have said Tarre Vizsla here, bc i have some very CHOICE opinions on him. but ive talked about those in length before, so Yoda it is)

7 - character I began to hate bc of how fanon acts about them

Obi-Wan

well, it's not really hate-hate, but I now find myself actively avoiding fics that have him tagged as a main guy.

idk, i've just grown bored of him?

also i really don't understand why ppl find him so hot. sorry. he looks like a random guy i could see at the train station.

like, guys! expand your horizons a bit! there's so many funny little guys out there in the big gffa, do we really have to sing the praises of the same ginger over and over again? yeah I'm salty but this is revenge for every time a random commenter asks about Obi-Wan in a fic where he isn't even tagged

13 - worst blorbofication

yeah.

see above.

second worst to me probably is Bo-Katan. idk, i don't get it. this woman was a literal dterrorist and showed no remorse whatsoever about being part of the reason her sister is dead and her planet crumbled. and yet people call her a girlboss?

idk, make it make sense

[lothcatthree]

STAR WARS

*cracks knuckles* time for some hot fucking takes.

The first character I first fell in love with:  this is hard. probably obi wan, but he's everyone's first love lbr

The character I never expected to love as much as I do now: FIVES MY BELOVED

The character everyone else loves that I don’t:  .... anakin. i'm sorry. there are many reasons, but i don't have room to elaborate on them in this post (though it's not rocket science to come up with some on your own, that's kinda his whole thing). big anakin x consequences fan.

The character I love that everyone else hates:  bo katan, easy. free my girl. and dogma (doesn't rly count because the chronically online fandom loves him, just not the casual fans).

The character I used to love but don’t any longer: satine....... watching tcw six times really makes you start to notice shit and do some critical thinking.

The character I would totally smooch: is all of them an acceptable answer? atm thinking of fives <333 (always thinking of him)

The character I’d want to be like: rex or ahsoka. i can't decide, they're both so good

The character I’d slap: ........... anakin. but just to slap some feminism into him.

A pairing that I love: CODYWAN <3333333333333333 (gonna cheat and also throw in kanera and finnpoe)

A pairing that I despise: anidala :/ come on guys. be so for real.

[bylightofdawn]

So I got about halfway through Mando Season 2 at work today.

Things that amuse me to absolutely no end.

Mando CONSTANTLY foisting the kid off on people. He's like, I'm gonna throw myself down this krayt dragon's throat and am probably going to get eaten, but I'm going to trust the kid to this hot guy I met five minutes ago. Two episodes later, he leaves the kid with the Frog Lady. Also how much I adore her? And in that she calls him out on ALL OF HIS BULLSHIT. Including his nebulous interpretation of keeping his word.

2. Which brings me to my second point. I LOVE how Mando is a mean son of a bitch at times. He's a rule lawyering asshole who deceives multiple people by skating by the barest edge of his word. Does it to the dude in the first episode. Does it in the dude in episode 3 with the jetpack.

AND THEN HE HAS THE BALLS TO BE UPSET WHEN BO-KATAN DOES THE EXACT SAME THING TO HIM.

3. Man I hate what a waste Cara Dune was because she had potential. Sadly even recasting her would not wipe out the stench of controversy surrounding the character but can we PLEASE have another hot buff Amazonian woman to benchpress me I mean kick a lot of ass? Sadly, I think Disney has been scared off for life and I don't think that's going to happen anytime soon. What's Michelle Rodriguez doing these days? Just sayin'

4. I actually really like Bo-Katan, I know she's controversial and I GET why people detest the shit out of her but that's kinda...the point? You're not SUPPOSED to like her OR root for her. Not every character has to be likable and charismatic. Sometimes people are assholes and cunts and that's perfectly alright.

That being said, man, the second part of the season is definitely kinda all over the place, and I still detest the oh shit, we have to wrap up shit RIGHT NOW with two episodes later because we having too much fun with filler episodes, and now we need to fit half a season in two episodes trend that has plagued a lot of Disney SW shows, especially of late.

I'm debating if I'm going to stop after this. I really do want to watch Visions but that requires me...actually watching rather than letting it play in the background in my ear buds while I occasionally look over at the screen. So maybe I'll keep going even though S3 is not my favorite for a multitude of reasons. It's got some fun parts and I don't think I've fully watched i through since it aired. I remember throwing my hands up in disgust and eyerolling so hard I nearly broke myself over the jetpack jousting/fighting in the last episode.

[jessicas-pi]

WIP tag game

Tagged by @tarisilmarwen

Rules: In a new post, list the names of all the files in your WIP folder, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. Let people send you an ask with the title that most intrigues them and then post a little snippet of it or tell them something about it! And then tag as many people as you have WIPs.

I have a terrifying number of WIPs so I'm not going to do every single one but here's most of them, semi-organized by time period:

TCW fics:

Matchmaking, Mad Science, And Accidental Child Acquisition: How To Bother Your Bodyguard, Befriend Some Social Outcasts, Raise A Foundling, And Survive The Ongoing Sheevery (You Might Just Fall In Love, Too)

Ugh, look what you made me do

Jaig Eyes and Diamonds

Midnight Snacks, Space PowerPoints, And Jedi-Nightsister Intercultural Relations

the sheevery ends and the shenanakins begin

Fives' Blyla Fic (Feat. Jesse's Beta Reader Notes)

A Friend in Need (of therapy and maybe a nap)

The Secret Life Of Queen Apailana

mandalorianakin

The Pad(awan) Batch

Rebels/OT fics:

Paint Bombs, Pixie Cuts, And Elopement: How To Spite Your Mother, Troll Your Friends, Scandalize High Society, And Escape An Arranged Marriage (You Might Just Stop A War, Too)

rebelvengers assemble

Licorice offerings (and other ways to cope)

Graveyards and ghost towns (and other stuff you wouldn't expect to be bonding experiences but were anyway)

that awkward moment when your bf's family is a bunch of oversized judgy canines

Starbirds and Wolves

Yes, I’ve Been Brokenhearted (Blue Since The Day We Parted)

All I've Learned Has Overturned

It's A Rich Man's World

We're In This Together

April's Tomfoolery

In Hindsight, This May Not Have Been The Best Idea

iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii'm hOOKED ON A FEEELLING

Local Teenagers' Vacation Ruined By Tropes, More At Six

the jetpack fic

This Is Fine

The Phantom(s) Of The Eclipse

this is getting out of hand now there are two of ALL of them

and they were CELLMATES

Commit To The Bit

The Promises AU

How To Train Your Mythosaur

It's About Time

Lost In (Wild) Space

Frances Hodgson Burnett Star Wars Rebels Crossover

Parenting For Dummies

Philosophies, Prophecies, And Even More Found Family

road trip! road trip!

Twin Blades And Beskar

Runie Kressa Wridger’s Guide To Human-Merfolk Relationships: Friends, Enemies, Family, And Really Hot Guys You’re Gonna Marry Someday.

The Rebel Chronicles

AAAAAANGST

even more adoption

Ship Wars

You Could Do Better

she would not, in fact, Let It Go

Other fics:

Time Heals Old Hate (put your armor on)

Time Heals Shaken Hope (brave the coming night)

Time Makes Things Known

Time Tells Most Secrets (and quinlan tells the rest)

What Time Cannot Take (long as we are loved)

bo-katan and her tin can man

Befriended!

MandaloREYan

untitled modern au

local goth space prince adopts 31 assassins: could this be a redemption arc?

And since there's no way I'm going to be able to tag 56 people, I'll do an open tag to literally anyone who wants to play!

[sapphicsparkles]

Get to know your mutuals!

tagged by @femmefighter 💖 Get to know me tag game

Rules: answer + tag 9 people you want to get to know better and/or catch up with!

Favorite Color: Lavender and pastel pink

Last Song: bad guy by Billie Eilish (from my Bo-Katan playlist)

Currently Watching: HOTD, I resisted watching for a long time because I don't like extreme violence, gore, and brutality but the women kissing got me to give in

Currently Craving: star wars oreo

Coffee or Tea: Boooooth, I have a hot coffee first thing when I wake up, and then macha the rest of the day, and an herbal tea before bed.

Any Hobby You Would Like To Try: Swordsmanship, lolita fashion, and fermenting food

Any Au You’re Plotting For ?: good god I have so many

Sith!Ahsoka/Imperial AU (sokabine)

Mafia AU (botine, bobine, nitearmor)

Kept Woman AU (botine)

Caged Animal AU (botine)

Arranged Marriage AU (botine)

Time Travel AU (botine)

Western AU (different ones for bobine, botine, and nitearmor each)

Protector AU (bobine)

Murder Puppy AU (botine)

No pressure tag @armoralor @kalevalakryze @echo-coyote @furious-blueb-art @impossibleprincess35 @somewillwin @soloorganaas @nightgalen @kleyamarki

[smhalltheurlsaretaken]

I love the jedi but enjoy the sith, mostly vader,new republic sith and old republic sith, do yoi have a lost of your favorite star wars villains.

In order, Dooku, Thrawn, Palpatine, Vader, OT-era Tarkin, Maul - and TCW!Hondo right after Dooku if that counts.

Pretty vanilla lmao. I like the Son as a concept but he's really not hardcore enough to really embody what he's supposed to represent. (There's not enough of the slimy slithering madness and viciousness that makes the Sith do stuff like sacrifice Jedi on altars and do blood magic rituals, among other things.) He's too tame for something supposedly worse than the Sith, though he'd be horrifying if he'd been more Dark-Side-y.

So, Dooku, because he's a disaster and a mirror to Anakin's garbage and because there's a lot of genuinely interesting things about a character who was among the wisest and noblest and who knows what the darkness is and willing embraces it anyway. he's Star Wars' Saruman and I love Saruman. It certainly helped that he was played by Sir Christopher Lee. The man was just that good.

Thrawn, because of the smooth, calm demeanor - much like Dooku's. That scene where he slowly explains what a kalikori is without revealing right away who is Hera, toying with us with his incredible score in the background, gave me shivers the first 4-5 times I watched it. I love sophisticated and collected villains. Brutish villains feel too simplistic and not nearly as frightening. I also love Star Wars aliens.

Palpatine because he's a delight to hate. He has no redeeming qualities whatsoever - he's just absolute selfishness embodied and that makes if very fun. Also love the 'frail' old man whose power is in his insidiousness. I love how maniacally happy about his plans he always is and I love to think of how completely bored he must have been during the Empire days, before Luke showed up and gave him something to plot about. Sure I wish the Zillo beast could have flattened him to a Sheev pancake - or that Dooku would have just punted him into the sun before Naboo, but hey, at least he got thrown down a reactor and exploded twice and was never ever heard of again, right?

Vader because he's a powerhouse and that's always impressive. James Earl Jones' voice was always magnificent as well and there's something so expressive about faceless characters.

OT Tarkin because- smooth, calm and collected old villain. I really have a type ah ah. There's something so maddening about that complete confidence that they're right, that end-justify-the-means mentality they confuse for wisdom, that dismissive way they see the hot blooded righteous heroes as so beneath them...

Maul mostly for the times he goes completely crazy and either turns into a spider or a Temple-dwelling Sith cockroach and runs around painting Kenobi on the walls with his blood. I love his arc with Obi-Wan, I love what it says about the light and the Dark, the Jedi and the Sith, and the Florrum and Twin Suns duels are my favorite ever.

Finally, Hondo... Well, is Hondo. Much smarter, much more ruthless, and much saner than people give him credit for - just spectacularly greedy and ballsy. I wouldn't call him a villain so much as the true example of what a 'morally gray' character is. It's not good guys in impossible situations like Mace, it's not complex villains like Dooku, it's not the image people have of a tortured prince of darkness that deep down feels really sad about all the murder he's doing and it's not the selfless hero who angsts about quickly killing a monster that one time - it's Hondo.

I'm generally pretty indifferent to Ventress, Jango, Boba, bounty hunters like Cad Bane, the Hutts, villains of an episode, or more minor villains and/or reformed antagonists like Bo-Katan, Kallus, etc - as characters anyway. I might like them when they're onscreen or like their place in the story but they don't do much for me individually beyond that.

And a special mention goes to Miraj Scintel - the Zygerrian Queen and only Star Wars villain I truly and deeply loathe. I hate seeing her onscreen, I hate hearing her talk, I hate watching her move, I hate her aspirations, I just detest her. Everything about her is infuriating.

[sparrowmoss]

seated for tales of the empire. probably gonna do all six in one post so its easier

the path of fear

GORGEOUS opening shot of that red moon and clouds

kind of sad to get more of morgans story after she just kicked it in ahsoka but shes w the night sisters so maybe she’ll get resurrected

damn morgan that was kind of intense for a couple of kids

well that sucked for morgan! i would not think she would be aligned with thrawn in the future if her people got genocided by grievous but maybe we’ll see her path there

the path of anger

she became an imperial ship engineer?????

okay so again if she thinks the empire is going to take her ideas without giving her credit, payment, or promotion, and KNOWS the empire is now going to her planet to strip it of its resources, why is she still loyal to thrawn so many years later. good lord

morgans little gold ship is so baller i love it

HEYYY IS THIS THE GUY FROM THE MANDALORIAN!!!

oh fuck. hot pink and blue alien lizard

theyre not your people because you werent serving them dude

OH MY GODDDD NOT THIS FREAKISH LITTLE CREATURE AGAIN

HE LOOKS WORSE NOW HELPP

KILL IT KILL IT KILL IT

ugh rukh lives to see another day. freak ass

THRAWNNNNNNNN

why is he kind of hot i dont like thattttt

ohhh okay. i see. i guess i see her reasoning. its pretty narrow and clouded but to her it makes sense

the path of hate

i just realized crosshair’s helmet is in the intro :’)

who in da big blue whale ship

oh theyre cute too ohhh

OH SHE’S NEW REPUBLIC…

nadura… omg her hands are so cool

so morgan is just an “i suffered, so everyone else should have to suffer too” type of person huh

wow. like damn. starting a forest fire just because you are mad at some chick who’s dead. what does this get you. i hope morgan DOESNT come back

BO KATAN?!!&:$;&:!;!:;???

okay. okay this is fine.

devoted

yayyy inquisitor summer camp how funnnn

i dont like how the grand inquisitor looks at all its way too rebels style omg

holy shit barriss

i still want to know more about the other inquisitors especially the two on the left of barriss. their helmets are so cool

soooo… so ummm… do you think barriss knew it was anakin. what do you think anakin thought seeing barriss. i wonder

realization

… this is a nonbinary jedi. this is a non binary jedi? barriss and this other inquisitor are only using they/them. this jedi is nonbinary

FUCK IT UPPPPP BARRISSSSS YEAHHHHHHHHHHHH GET HERRRRRR

the way out

who that baby…

BARRISS!$:$;&:$(&:,!?:$;

oh shes a lot older now huh

“wise mother” hm

who is the friend huh. who is it

how has this inquisitor not aged at all dude

???????? why did barriss let her go in there man

this inquisitors freak out is kind of funny icl

oh you stupid asshole you did it now

so leaving us on a cliffhanger for barriss was not cool. is she okay. please. im begging

[airyairyaucontraire]

running thoughts about S3 E01 of The Mandalorian, "The Apostate"

jesus Christ of COURSE the Mandalorians have their child soldier investiture ceremonies RIGHT WHERE A FUCKING MOSASAUR CAN POP UP AND RUIN THINGS

oh my GOD you guys

simple FISH RADAR could've given you the early warning you needed to avoid this malarkey!

THIS IS WHY YOU'RE ALMOST EXTINCT

YES YOU'RE PERSECUTED BUT YOU'VE ALSO GOT NO SENSE

also okay wow

way to upstage Paz YET AGAIN Dindin

you slay the dragon when he can't AND you have A HOT NEW SPORTSCAR and you still have a CUTE BABY

also listen

THERE'S A SQUID IN THE WARP TUNNEL

or maybe it's one of those space whales that Ezra Bridger disappeared with?

ngl I was a little disappointed one of the street musicians on Nevarro wasn't Max Rebo

awwwww they put up a statue to droid Taika

Greef's clothes just keep getting bigger

"The belters are mining the asteroid fields at the edge of the system." Just like The Expanse! let us know how that works out for ya, you're already dressed a bit like Chrisjen Avasarala

absolutely no one is impressed by Grogu's weak sauce name

you know where else you could be apostate landed gentry? TATOOINE

WHERE YOU HAVE FRIENDS WHO LOVE YOU

I'm not saying Greef doesn't care about you but COME ON why move to a planet with one friend (since I don't expect we'll be seeing Cara again) when you could hang out with FOUR friends some of whom are VERY GOOD-LOOKING and talk with fun accents (Kiwi and Cowboy)

c'mon Greef they just wanna get drunk in a school

you know, for a pirate, you don't have a very good hat. Hondo Ohnaka's hat would take a shit on your hat.

GREEF HAS TWO LITTLE BRIDESMAID DROIDS CARRYING HIS CAPE

A GOLD STAR TO WHOSEVER IDEA THAT WAS

what do you mean you need him back

he EXPLODED in LAVA

what makes you think the brainy parts are even there?

I REALLY FEEL LIKE IG-11 WAS A LOT MORE BLOWN UP AT THE TIME THAN THIS MAKES IT LOOK

I mean always happy to have more Taika

assuming he still talks like Taika

maybe his voicebox is effed up

maybe now he sounds like Jemaine Clement

"now that's using your head" says Din

JESUS Din

oh okay it's the tiny cute mechanics from the sequels

HOW DID YOU CRAWL IN THERE

a new side quest begins

did Grogu want to cuddle the tiny mechanic or eat it

YOU KNOW WHO YOU COULD TAKE WITH YOU TO HELP YOU ON YOUR QUEST

COBB VANTH

JUST SAYING

I bet he's feeling a lot perkier by now! and would do basically anything for you if you bought him a drink and put your hand on his knee under the table

like you wouldn't even have to rub it

ohhhhhhhhhhhh he's starting to deliberately TEACH the baby

the pirate is suddenly talking MORE PIRATEY and saying things like Avast

I miss the Space Scotsman, remember him? "Tell that to Kanjiklub!"

CAPTAIN GREENBEARD

will not be appearing much in this episode, I suppose they're just introducing him so he can be a recurring and very moist foe

With Din talking to Grogu so much more, explaining things to him, do you think his little speech delay will start to come right?

say what you will about Bo-Katan Kryze, she certainly can strike a louche pose on a throne. She's no Darth Maul, mind you. Then again, who is? (blows a kiss towards hell for him)

If she's so depressed and all her plans are fucked, why is she still striking poses on thrones?

get a job Bo-Katan

you can always work private security

or be an aesthetician because given what we know about your age clearly you have SOME incredible skincare secret (and your hair always looks nice)

I mean... the planet was poisoned decades ago, that's why everyone was living under domes.

That felt pretty short, I have to say.

I like how you can see from the concept art over the end credits that both Bo-Katan's throne and her pose got fancier over time

[spextronaut]

Thoughts on this week’s episode of the Mandalorian:

Watching the recap at the start of the episode and VERY AGGRESSIVE REMINDER that Bo-Katan called Din “brother” when they first met please please god do not make them have a romance 😭

If any of y’all know Doctor Who,,, these starfish things look like fucked up Oods

Imperial Mandalorians???? What the fuck??

Why is there melodrama. Why are these aliens so fucking ugly

Once again that’s just earth when will we get some decent fuckin out of orbit planet designs

GROGU <3333 DIN <33333

begging for the pattern to continue from last season with the helmet removal increases pls let Din take his helmet off today

I love that Din is having his name used more it’s so fun

These walls are so white I am fucking BLIND

JACK BLACK???? JACK MOTHERFUCKING BLACK??? OF MARIO MOVIE FAME?!?!? WHY ARE YOU HERE???

Grogu my fucking beloved

I seriously can’t get over this I love his beard but fr why the fuck is Jack Black here

Grogu loves his pets omfg <33

Not the fucking Jerry Maguire reference I hate him <3

Still can’t get over the fact that Jack Black is canonically in Star Wars

Din once again being prejudiced against droids it’s really stupid lmao

A Kuill reference?? 2 seasons after he died?? Damn

hehehe Clone Wars reference

Din has another concussion that’s fantastic

We’re finally back to this being the Mando show with Bo Katan as a side character and I can’t even begin to tell y’all how happy that makes me

This place looks like it was inspired by Tokyo that’s really cool

Fuckin yEET

oooo the girls are fightinggg

what the fuck how do Droids drink

I love when he gets violent <3

… Droid race allegory?

The droids drink lube that is so fucking dumb

Droid morgue????

DARK SABER DIN!!!!!!! LETS FUCKING GOOOOOOOO

god he is so,,,, he’s hot I can’t be argued with on that

woww big surprise that the guy that was so obviously evil is evil

was that. was that a Keanu Reeves lookalike

I hate old people

Slay good job Bo Katan <3

BUG!!! BUG BALL!!!

GROGU HE IS SO FUCKING <33333

yay Jack Black is back

they get a key? for all that?

That’s a big fucking key what the hell

Grogu gets a knighthood and he didn’t even do anything I love that for him

THE WAVE 😭😭😭

Din this will be so simple just pull out the fuckin Darksaber

hehehe Bo Katan gets to be a badass that’s fun

Din fr you can stop this so easily just. Darksaber it’s not that hard

At least give him some popcorn if he’s just gonna watch goddamn

… kinky

Din. Beat his ass. Beat his fucking ass you deserve it

Din keep the fucking saber you know how it works

DIN. KEEP. THE. FUCKING. SABER.

Don’t let him give it away I’m gonna get so mad I know he doesn’t want it but HES SO HOT WITH IT THEYRE PLAYING HIS THEME AND EVERYTHING

Fuck this show. Fuck this show. Let him keep the saber. FUCK THIS SHOW I AM SO GODDAMN MAD RN

Can’t believe I was like oh this is the Mando show again bUT NO

HE DIDNT EVEN TAKE THE HELMET OFF I AM SO FUCKINGGG PISSED

Begging this to be a misdirection and the Darksaber will actually reject Bo Katan and force her to give it back to Din and that the last two episodes are good

Im so fucking mad at this episode i hate that fucking ending god fucking dammit Din deserves so much better, Pedro Pascal deserves so much better this is the show that truly got him into the spotlight and his character is being treated like shit and he doesn’t deserve it

I hate this episode but I had fun for the first 3/4 of it so I’m giving it a 6/10 overall it would’ve been much higher if Din didn’t give Bo Katan the fucking Darksaber

The worst part is that him desperately and easily giving away any semblance of power to Bo Katan fits his character it fits his character so well but that’s not how the last two seasons and TBoBF set up his arc and that’s why I’m so mad about it and hope it’s a misdirection

If it’s not a misdirection I honestly can’t say that I’ll come back for s4. I love this show and I love the characters but I would much rather live a life of pretending the fan fictions are canon than watch the show dig itself into a hole it can’t escape and ruin all the characters I love

And I don’t hate Bo Katan I like her and I like that they’re setting up her and Din not getting along very well anymore that’s good but i don’t think the way they’re treating her should be so prevalent considering the other things she’s in, she can have this arc in a different show or hell even her own show it doesn’t have to be in Mando

I’m gonna stick around until the season finishes but if it doesn’t get any better I’m not gonna come back for season 4 unless Tumblr says it’s absolutely amazing or some shit I just can’t take this disappointment anymore

Final comment: good episode when you ignore the ending, the ending was shit. Jack Black was the peak of the episode, but Grogu and Din (especially with the Darksaber!!) were also great and I am very much ignoring the end of the episode it’s not real if I don’t look at it

[burnwater13]

Grogu wondered if his Mandalorian actually liked the other Mandalorians. They did not follow the Creed the same way that Din Djarin did and although they said, ‘This is the Way.’ Grogu was pretty sure that they didn’t mean that same way. Particularly when Bo-Katan said it. When she said it she meant, “This is MY Way.”

Like when they were on Trask and they needed help to find a Jedi because the Mandalorian had to give Grogu back to them because the Armorer told him to. (Wow, who are all these women in Din Djarin’s life and why are they so bossy?) Any way, Din found the other Mandos and they asked him for help and he agreed to help them get some weapons and dropped Grogu off to stay with the lovely Frog family. 

Grogu had a great time with the Frog family, but he didn’t learn until much later, that Din was having a lot less fun with the other Mandos. Particularly when Bo-Katan changed their agreement at the last minute. Instead of taking the weapons crates (stealing is such a harsh term), they, meaning she, decided to steal, uh, er, take, the whole ship! And if Din didn’t help her she wouldn’t tell him where the Jedi was. 

That was not the Way! If it was, Grogu thought they should start over and try something new, because this lying thing just didn’t work for him. And don’t make excuses for her behavior. Is this how you would want your leaders to lead you? Tell you one thing and then corner you into doing something much more risky? Grogu was pretty sure that this was the kind of thinking that had gotten Mandalore into trouble to being with. 

Sure, you could argue that collecting the weapons they wanted was much easier because they had them in the big shopping bag that was the whole ship. Or you could argue that the ship itself was a weapon and she was always talking about that. But his Mandalorian was pretty annoyed with the whole thing, so it seemed clear to Grogu that Din had thought Bo-Katan wanted something a lot smaller than a whole ship. 

At the Jedi Temple the masters had been sticklers about telling the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, more or less. Everyone was encouraged to be factual. First say what they knew, then say what they suspected. This worked pretty well for the Masters and less well for other people. People like Grogu and the rest of the younglings.

It was hard being a youngling. Everyone else you knew went on adventures, and had lightsabers, and met people from around the galaxy. Younglings stayed at the temple and attended lectures and training courses. They fetched things for the Masters who didn’t currently have a padawan. They put up with people pinching their cheeks when they went to the library because Master Yoda wanted a data pack on the building techniques of huts and other swamp dwellings. 

Grogu was finally over having that one librarian pinch his cheeks, you know the one, all sweet words and pinchy fingers. Well, he’d gotten pinched again, this time with the words ‘Aren’t you just the sweetest little guy helping out the Masters’ and he got very angry. He knows it’s hard to believe. He’s typically very sweet and patient. But this time he’d had enough and gave that librarian a hot foot! Yup! They jumped up and down cursing with words Grogu didn’t even know you could curse with. Then he was hustled off to Master Yoda to explain himself. 

It’s pretty obvious when there are only two of you in a place and one of you gets a hot foot that they other one of you did it. Grogu knew that. But when Master Yoda asked him if he had done it Grogu just gave him a, ‘Who me? Why would I do a thing like that?’ , look. Master Yoda was less than impressed. 

“Tell me the truth you will, youngling Grogu”, Master Yoda ordered him. 

So Grogu told him the technical facts. Yes, he had used the Force. Yes he had created a temperature spike. Yes, the librarian's foot happened to enter the zone where the temperature spike occurred. 

Yoda had not been impressed. The facts were there, but the intent was missing. Grogu had answered the how, but not the why.  Bo-Katan had told Din Djarin a variation of the what, but not the how or why. So the truth wasn’t complete and that was a problem. 

Master Yoda’s solution had been to have the librarian describe what went on and when she slid over the whole cheek pinching thing, Grogu coo’d and grumbled at Master Yoda.

“Oh, the youngling's cheeks did you pinch? Like it not does he. Stop pinching you will.” 

Grogu was very happy that Master Yoda supported him like that. He should have just told the whole truth to begin with. Which is what he thought Bo-Katan should have done. When was Din Djarin every going to turn down the opportunity to relieve the Imp remnants of an asset? 

[sapper-in-the-wire-old]

Star Wars: we will have white women girlbosses

AHT AHT BUT

They will be racist and demeaning towards brown men at every turn

[phoenixyfriend]

I want an AU where Anakin and Padme get a divorce halfway through the war on AMICABLE TERMS instead of the "Padme was using him" that I saw recently. Potentially it's in the context of that "Anakin's crush on Padme was comphet because she was an unattainable ideal, he realizes he's gay after he actually attains said ideal" AU.

He still goes over to her apartment when he's meant to be on meditative retreats, but now it's to lie back on her couch with take-out and complain about things, and she complains right back because the Senate is terrible.

Padme has a gay best friend but he's not helpful with fashion at ALL he just tells her she looks great in everything which is very flattering, but also doesn't really do much for her to decide on which headdress to wear to the gala. He can do all the handyman jobs around her apartment, though. She tells him it isn't necessary, but he does it anyway.

Palps sabotages Padme's birth control but nothing happens because she and Anakin aren't actually sleeping together anymore.

Anakin always greets Padme with a huge smile and a hug that spins her around because he's no longer worried about someone figuring out he's married because said marriage no longer exists.

Anakin at one point just whining on Padme's couch like "I'm surrounded by so many hot guys, and I can't hit on any of them, because I'm their commanding officer! Do you know how much that sucks? It sucks so much. Padme. Padme it sucks so goddamn much."

People keep hinting at Anakin's marriage and now that he's not panicking about it he just fucks with them by pretending to be oblivious to the insinuations.

Drunk Anakin comes out to Obi-Wan with the usual 'so many hot dudes and I can't date any of them' complaint and everyone in the room is just like "wait... wait I thought you had a thing with Amidala......"

Something something Anidala maintain the illusion of being a somewhat exclusive couple so Padme can imply to gross dudes that she has a violently protective S/O, which is... mostly true? He's still a significant figure in her life! He is violent! He is protective! He will hurt them if they keep hitting on her! He's just no longer married to her.

Anakin gets confirmation in a roundabout way that he's not going to get punished for a marriage that no longer exists and then just starts referring to Padme as My Ex-Wife and it's uncomfortable for literally everyone except the two of them.

(Same vibes as introducing your wife as "my ex-girlfriend.")

Ventress: Oh? And how would you feel, Skywalker, if I went and stole that pretty little girlfriend of yours for-- Anakin: Ex-wife. Ventress: ...what? Anakin: Get it right, she's my ex-wife. The divorce went through months ago, you're really behind. Ventress: ...what? Anakin: You probably have a shot, though, she likes projects. Ventress: ...what?

In her defense, Ventress meant "kidnap for torture." Anakin was the one that heard "steal yo girl."

As suggested by @thisarenotarealblog on discord:

Anakin: Hey babe you know how you like disasters Padme: I'm listening

Sabe: She's a separatist assassin, my Lady! Padme: Thats what she does, not what she is.

And from @atagotiak at the same:

Now, Ventress being a separatist assassin does make things complicated but it’s not like massive differences of political opinion is a turnoff for Padmé.

IMO Padme's bi/lesbian lover would have to be either Ventress or Bo-Katan, they are the only ladies that have anywhere near Anakin's batshit moral nonsense going on while still plausibly being someone she could turn.

Padme needs a non-hopeless "I can fix them" project in her life.

Anakin, doing the Will Smith pose as Padme disembarks from a ship: BEHOLD, MY GLORIOUS EX-WIFE. Padme: [laughing indulgently] Obi-Wan: [pinching the bridge of his nose] Mace: 😒