#guys did i ever tell you how much i love Bdubs

[epicfranb]

I love Bdubs

[mochiwrites]

One of the hermits sits Grian down one day and tries to tell him Scar loves him, and Grian, just as faithful to the bit as he is to his husband, just keeps brushing them off.

But then they tell him everything Scar went through while Grian was missing, things they think Grian might not know or realize. How Scar would leave Hermitcraft for weeks on end to scour Highpixel and any other server they'd ever been to and come home exhausted and distraught. How Scar would beg Doc to build some universe-breaking contraption that could find anyone and get angry when told it wasn't possible. How Scar would cry for hours some days and be an emotionless husk the next.

So yes, they tell Grian, who is now in tears himself, Scar loves you. Just tell him how you feel.

Grian goes straight to Scar and apologizes for the 100th time for doing that to him, and Scar just holds him and tells him that none of that matters, that he's home and safe and that's all Scar needs.

“Scar loves you.”

Grian blinks as he stares at both Impulse and Bdubs, the pair looking at him with uncharacteristically serious expressions. This is… not what he expected when being asked to meet at Bdubs’ monolith. “Well yeah, of course he does.” They’re married. Of course he knows! Not that Impulse and Bdubs are aware of that part, at least. It’s been a very funny bit going between himself and Scar.

“No G,” Bdubs argues, making Grian’s brows furrow, “Scar loves you.”

He knows that.

Impulse glances at Bdubs before sighing quietly. “Scar never mentioned how he was when you went missing, did he?” His voice is soft as he asks, calm and friendly.

Slowly, Grian shakes his head. They had of course spoken at length about how hard it was on both sides — with Grian being pulled apart and molded into the perfect little Watcher, and Scar wondering every night if he’d ever see his husband again. But Scar never seemed to want to talk about it much outside of his nightmares. Those nights were always hard, when Scar would cling to Grian, shaking like a leaf as he feared Grian being taken from him again. That was painful enough, he never wanted to press for more.

Bdubs scoffs, “The guy was a total mess! An absolute wreck without you around!”

Impulse elbows him, muttering a quiet “dude.” He looks back to Grian. “Bdubs isn’t uh, exactly wrong in saying that. Scar really didn’t handle you being gone too well.”

Grian tenses as an uneasy feeling sits in his stomach. Of course he knew that it hadn’t been easy for Scar. He can only imagine how badly Scar handled it, something he has a feeling he won’t have to imagine for much longer. If the sympathetic look Impulse is giving him is anything to go by.

“He tried to keep a brave face for a while, I think that was to keep us from worrying too much. Not that it worked much,” Impulse confesses with a weak chuckle. “He’d leave Hermitcraft at least once or twice a month for days at a time, said he was going to Hypixel to search for you. And every time he’d come home looking more distraught and tired than the last. It was… really hard to watch him break himself down like that.” Impulse frowns, absentmindedly brushing off his pants leg.

Hearing that makes Grian’s heart hurt. ‘Oh Scar…’ He can picture it so clearly, his husband racing all over Hypixel, asking anyone and everyone if they knew about Grian or his whereabouts. Going at it for multiple days. Grian imagines him going back to their apartment, collapsing in their bed. He probably exhausted himself often, doing that. Had he been properly taking care of himself? No… probably not.

“And that’s not even touching the stuff with Doc, either!” Bdubs cuts in, earning Grian’s attention. “Do you know how many times during Hermitcraft meetings he’d beg Doc to make some world breaking machine to find you?!”

Impulse grimaces, “Doc would tell him no every time, and gosh, I’ve never seen him get so angry before.”

Neither has Grian.

His wings drop slightly, chest aching at the thought of how much pain Scar must’ve been in. And for so long…

“Cub and I caught him crying a lot,” Bdubs continues, just a tad softer as the air in the room shifts around. Both he and Impulse seem to pick up on Grian’s reaction, the response. “Sometimes he’d cry for hours, or stare obsessively at his communicator. And the next day it was like we were looking at some shell of him.” He crosses his arms over his chest. “He was flat out emotionless, G. I think I could count the number of times I saw him smile on one hand.”

No, that doesn’t sound right. Scar is a man who never stops smiling. He has a smile that’s capable of lighting up the whole room. It’s hard to picture him now without one. Because it’s Scar. Wonderfully bright and happy Scar. The man Grian loves more than anything in the world. For him to lose that…

Impulse reaches out, setting a hand on Grian’s shoulder. “But he brightened up the moment he saw you again, G. You’re Scar’s world, man. He loves you more than anything. So just… be honest with him. Tell him how you feel, yeah?”

Grian sucks in a rough breath, willing his vision to clear as he meets Impulse’s gaze.

————————————————

It doesn’t take Grian very long to find Scar afterward.

He spots his lovable man right in Main Street of Scarland, humming to himself as he constructs a trolley by some flowerbeds. He looks focused, very much in the zone of building as he rests out a color palette or two.

Grian doesn’t hesitate to interrupt him, dropping down beside him. “Scar,” he gets out, of course startling the man.

Scar jumps with the usual goofy yell of his, hard hat falling off his head and hitting the ground with a resounding thud. He looks over at Grian, shocked expression melting into one of fondness as they lock eyes. “Oh! Well if it isn’t the love of my li— oof!”

He’s cut off as Grian barrels right into him, arms wrapping tight around his torso as he buries his face into Scar’s neck. Scar stumbles backward as he rushes to hug Grian back, pressing him close. “Whoa there. Not that I’m upset about this, but what’s with the sudden hug, lovebird?”

“I’m sorry.” Grian pressed his face further against Scar, wrapped up in the familiar smell of spice and earthy tones. “I’m sorry I — I didn’t know how bad it was I—” he breaks off, squeezing his eyes shut, voice wet and shaking. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Tell you about what?” Scar questions, his voice ever so soft as he moves to cards his fingers through his hair, picking up on his distress.

“How it was for you those years I was missing.” Grian wraps his wings around him on instinct, needing him close. He feels the way the other stiffens, going tense in his hold. “I’m so sorry, Scar.”

Scar shushes him, shaking his head as he presses a kiss against his hair. “You have nothing to apologize for, G,” he murmurs. “You’re here now and safe in my arms. That’s the only thing I care about.” And he means it. He and Grian could go through a thousand different trials, but none of them would matter, so long as Scar could hold him and keep him safe again. “You’re home. You’re here. That’s all I need, everything else is in the past.”

Grian’s breath shakes with a quiet and distressed noise, guilt flooding him. He mumbles a few more apologies; for leaving Scar, for not being there, for leaving him to struggle alone. “I love you so much,” he says, “I love you.”

Scar continues to hold him, kissing him all over. “I love you too, sunshine.”

[vapemaster42069]

“Why is Cub peeling grapes?”

Impulse shrugged, toeing off his sneakers. “Shrooms, prolly.” He flopped onto his side, socked feet and cargo-short-ed legs flung over the back of the couch. “Cubby, you good?” 

Cub, wonder in his eyes, looked back. He seemed not to be glancing over, but to be watching the world pass in front of him like a rat looking out a bus window, wind in its fur and streetlights in its eyes. “I’m wonderful.” He looked back to his plate, adoration plain on his face. “I love grapes.”

Impulse tossed him a thumbs up. “Good to hear, man.”

Bdubs nodded. Sometimes, Cub was better left to his own devices. “I brought the goods.”

“Did you remember the sauerkraut this time?” Skizz, who was determinedly not looking away from his Mortal Kombat game on the tv, cocked an eyebrow in a preemptive, judgemental jab. 

“Get your own sauerkraut, man.” Bdubs tossed a tinfoil-wrapped hotdog to Impulse, one into the kitchen to his right where Tango was attempting to fix the leaky faucet, his legs sticking out from under the sink into the middle of the tile floor, and one vaguely towards the couch between Skizz and Impulse. “Hotdog Guy sends his regards.”

Impulse raised a brow. “Does he actually, or are you relying on your weird cute-boy-senses again?”

“It’s not a cute-boy-sense! It’s my incredible rizz!”

“Oh, my god.” Impulse groaned, to Skizz’s cackles.

Bdubs grinned, nudging Impulse’s head, which was resting on the ground, with one of his sneakers. “I could show you, if you need any tips…”

“Broooo.” Impulse threw an arm over his face, his ears reddening. “You’re the worst. And– and you!” He half-glared at Skizz, who was still idly giggling at his reaction. “I have plenty of rizz!”

“Yeah? When are we gonna get to meet your boyfriend then?” Bdubs sang, drawing out ‘boyfriend’ as long as he could before losing his composure to a chortle.

“He’s– Hey! He’s not my boyfriend!” He swatted at one of Bdubs’ calves. “He’s just a friend.”

Tango, ever with good timing, emerged from his hazard site that was the kitchen. “Oh, are we talking about Impulse’s boyfriend?”

Bdubs wrinkled his nose. “Why do you smell like fire? Aren’t you fixing the plumbing?”

Tango shrugged, attempting to push up his glasses with one elbow, hands full of assorted tool boxes. “It happens.”

“It– what happens?”

“Oh, you know. This, that.” He gestured vaguely with his head.

Bdubs blinked. “O–key. Weirdo.”

Tango bumped him with a shoulder. “I hear Cute Hotdog Boy said hello this morning… When's the wedding?”

“Well, he didn’t say hello, exactly, but I could sense it.”

“With your cute-boy-senses?”

Bdubs groaned, a traitorous smile quivering over his lips. “Fuck off with that! But I’m totally going to ask him out tomorrow.”

“You said that yesterday!” Skizz piped up, still intently focused on his game.

“Is he into you?” Impulse, still hiding his face, poked at Bdubs’ ankle.

“Oh, he’s so into me. I can tell these things.” Bdubs scratched at his neck idly, cheeks reddening.

“Oh, my god.”

“He’s gone off the deep end.” Skizz signed, mock-mournfully.

“I’m serious!”

“You’ve never talked to the guy.”

“So? He doesn’t talk much! And, I said hi this morning, and he nodded at me, and he already had my order ready.” Bdubs crossed his arms, leaning back in what Skizz would later describe as a swoon, and what Bdubs then imagined was a badass, cool-guy lean.

“I think he’s just learned your schedule, man. You’re there at the same time every day.”

“But he basically said hi today! He doesn’t usually do that…” He hummed.

“He’s lost in the sauce, bro. Or the hotdog water.”

“Lost in the ketchup, more like. ”

“He’s a hotdog dude, man.” Skizz redirected to Bdubs, “How great could he be?”

“He’s awesome, you don’t even know. Plus, what do you have against the hotdog industry, Skizz?”

“Nothing, but what’s a hotdog cutie have in common with an optometry major?”

“He’s in herbology, I saw his bag one time! It had a bunch of band patches, too, and pins– He’s so cool, his hair is dyed this crazy white and he’s into plants and nature and indie rock–”

“Homie. “

“–and he always smells so nice, too. Like … “

“Like hotdogs?” Tango supplied.

“Yeah…” Bdubs sighed dreamily.

“Dude. Bro. Man. Have you ever asked him about this stuff?”

“No, but–”

“And he’s never said hi to you?

“Well, no, but–”

“Homie, I think you’ve just developed a pavlovian response to this guy.”

“Have not!”

“Bro. You always see him when you’re hungry, right?”

“Well, yeah.”

“And he gives you food?”

“Yeah. It’s his job!”

“It’s also his job to make you feel good, man.”

“Is not! You’ll see, I’m asking him out tomorrow.”

“Yeah, okay, buddy." Skizz smiled softly, looking away from his game. "You do that."

“I will!” Bdubs looked down at his half-wrapped hotdog. “I will.”

[frozenjokes]

i continued being unable to sleep so i continued shoving as much of your writing into my brain as possible, by which i mean i just read alllll of the mumbomaid au pretty much at once and am being Normal about it

i love them all, i love all of them so much, i'm very invested in their shenanigans, i love how almost nobody understands gender and they all misunderstand it differently

i am ALSO aro in the "no i don't have feelings for anybody, yes i would date basically any of my friends" way and everything surrounding scar's aromanticism is so well done, i kept being soo exasperated with grian and the like. the incredibly allo misunderstanding of aromanticism, and not listening when scar and cleo try to tell him he doesn't get it, i have friends i've had almost those exact conversations with (but slightly less messy because of varyious factors including but not limited to Not Being Desert Duo, Thank Fuck) just ajfhdjdhjshdjfsk

also also i love textbook monsterfucker scar and i'm convinced bdubs thinks etho grew up in a cult or some shit (i'm throwing words at this ask box like spaghetti)

anyway uh. i'm probably gonna keep wanting to say words about your fics as i keep reading them and the ao3 comment section scares me so. i will probably be back, feel free to tell me to buzz off if this is not a preferred communication method

-guy that said mapleshade=p!scar (maplescar? scarpleshade? there's gotta be something here, did i mention the sleep deprivation sorry if this is all insane rambling lmao)

maplescar is a really cool tortie kitty name I like that a lot. maplescar would go crazy. ALSO PLEASE KEEP SAYING WORDS!!!!! say words FORWVER!!!! spam my ao3 comments and I will respond to them 9/10 ten times!!!!!!! I love talking I love when people talk to me THANK YOU!!!!!! you could send me an ask every single time you finish a chapter and I would kiss you on the lips each time but my followers might be killing you with hammers so. Pick your poison.

yeah my favorite part of mumbomaid is that no one knows what a gender is and they misunderstand in all different ways you put it 100% perfectly. I also find Grian to be frustrating but he’s also a vessel to explore More Feelings and in his defense a little outside of complicated aro/allo interactions scar is a bit of an asshole. They are both assholes. Two guys they Will have their cake and they Will eat it too and they are exploding because of it. I too thank god every day I am not desert duo I! hate them. Generally though I do not feel bitter about allo misunderstandings of aromanticism because I spent 21 years of my life also not understanding. Which. Is the fault of a normative society. However. It is deeply difficult to understand the internal experience of someone who functions differently than you on a chemical level. This is a bit of a tangent but my mom and I’s ability to communicate has been drastically improved by the acceptance that I am autistic. She sees me and we reflect on my life together and it makes Sense that the way I experience the world is Different so whenever we talk about something my mom doesn’t understand in relation to me her mind is so open because she knows my perception of the world is not the same as hers. neurodivergence isn’t entirely related to queerness but it has genuinely opened up so many doors for our communication. she goes aromantic? oh yeah that makes sense. I think she catalogs it with the autism which is correct because to me autism and Every Other Way I Experience The World is related. This is say I have a very amusing experience with one of my trans friends where he was like: …so you’ve never questioned your gender,,, like…. Ever..? and I said nope. and he like couldn’t believe me. He did obviously but it’s the idea that our experiences are so integral to the people we are that it’s extremely difficult to imagine it any other way. can you tell I’m a psych major yet. what was I talking about.

I haven’t thought of exactly what bdubs thinks about etho’s past but it’s probably something like that. Deep down, it doesn’t really matter. Bdubs just wants to protect him. He’s so worried, but he just wants etho to feel safe.

lightly suggestive under the cut bc I talk about the monster fucking a little bit and I don’t know your age/if my elaboration is unwarranted I’m just talking. I’m here for a silly time not a sexy one.

monsterfucker scar is dear to me. extremely important. Grian will never be able to do to him the, frankly, deranged things he fantasizes about. they can try but the mood is going to be ruined when scar is like :( your tentacle dick isn’t real. and Grian is going to sigh with his dumbfuck strap and the blue curtains and lights they hung up to make it look like they were underwater. Their entire experience in the bedroom is going to be a series of extremely comedic extremely unfortunate events to make up for the fact that scar is never getting any fish pussy 😔 scar will be put off the mood because Grian just isn’t Convicning enough like COME ON if I don’t believe I’m going to die THEN what’s THE POINT??????? their home life is just increasingly deranged. grian has accepted that he will never be able to compete with the horrors of the ocean and you may think that’s a ‘but he’s still a little jealous though..’ but he’s not. He’s accepted it. Full acceptance. The kind of worn down you get from fishing for a mending book for weeks on end but without the agony and more just. Amused. goodtimeswithscar is going to die young and by drowning but you’d better believe he’ll do it in ecstasy.

[weirdfreakshow]

Can I just say I love your bully Joel AU? HOLY SHIT the thought of Etho raping him and basically isolating him from everyone because "he's an irredeemable asshole, nobody would want to be close to him ever, right? Etho is the only person willing to talk to him at all" and manipulating Joel to make him dependent on Etho because Etho himself has become addicted.

Joel lashes out and rebells, just for Etho to put him in his place again and again. At first Etho just did it to shut him the fuck up, but goddamn if that brat wasn't the cutest ass he's ever had. At some point he just started manipulating him and making him have sex with Etho whenever (whether he wanted to or not) as a form of "retribution" and it's this fucked up toxic relationship but Etho doesn't care at all. All his friends praise him for always protecting them from Joel's bullying but little do they know Etho is doing something wayyy worse himself behind the scenes.

I also like to think about how Joel would cope. Like at first he'd cry a lot because it hurt like shit, but then why tf is his body reacting like this?? Why is it responding to Etho? Is there really something wrong with him? I imagine it makes him angry and defensive which causes him to get into even more trouble than before, which leads to Etho abusing him more, which leads to even more lashing out, and the loop just spirals until he's either miserable but still entirely dependent on Etho, or he starts liking it and actively seeks punishment (he never stops crying tho, Ethos likes it when he cries anyway).

Anyway can you tell I'm going insane??? Good food.

Oh my goddddd this. this is everything. I still very much cherish the Bully Joel au, it's SO good

And yeah! You got the looping spiral perfectly, that's kind of the drive for the the whole au to keep going and getting worser. Joel gets a bit shaken at first by it, obviously thrown off by being pushed out of his weird power play he had with everyone, being reminded of his place in the world as "prey", but once he recovers from it a bit he goes right back at lashing out. He's violent, mean, annoying. That's what he does! Lash out at everyone!

Add Etho into the mix and it all becomes a mess, because Etho makes him feel small and scared again, and that makes him want to appear scary, makes him be crueler with the pranks and his words, makes him want to occupy more space and let everyone know he's NOT prey, he's just not, he's not the little red riding hood, he's the wolf. Totally! It makes him hate bdubs, he knows he can't hurt Etho but he can hurt his precious "Bubs" instead. But oh well, that just gets him raped again! Joel is so fucking stupid sometimes!

And oh, when he actually is raped, speared on Etho's hard cock. It's just like he's a kid again, scared and shaking but cumming sooo hard all the same. He hates himself so much, what the fuck is wrong with him? He'll catch himself getting hard from having Etho's gross rapist dick down his throat. Slobbering all over it, taking it all in like a little fleshlight even if it bulges his throat a bit. He doesn't know what's worse, keeping his eyes open and having to look at Etho's lustful eyes or closing them and remembering other things that happened in the past. It's like there's no escape. He doesn't get to dissociate because he's just so horny his whole body burns, and a normal person would wish they were home instead of having to face this horrible situation, but Joel knows being there wouldn't be any better, so he braces for it. Tries to fight back sometimes, yes, but it's pointless. He's small and stupid and I guess his body WAS actually just made for being raped.

All their friends praising Etho is just so good. So . fucking . good . Joel knows not to mess with Gem, avoids Bdubs most of the time, doesn't even bother Tango even though he fucking hates that guy too. It's just fun, Etho says it's truly nuthin', its fine. Oh, always so humble, the guy. What a guy.

Joel already doesn't have THAT many friends, or if he did he doesn't seem to hang out so much with them anymore, especially Grian. Ever since he got a boyfriend they kinda broke apart, so getting Joel alone isn't a hard task. Joel usually ends up sitting alone somewhere hidden, like under the bleachers where he goes to smoke his older brother's stolen cigarettes. Hurting him and getting to his little head isn't hard either, after all he's all bark, secretly a sensitive kid inside

[catmaidetho]

assigning my favorite guys crane wives songs

aka, in honor of the crane wives being my #1 artist on spotify this year, have some insanity. this list is loosely based on the life series, but each song aims to encapsulate a character as entirely as possible w/o focusing too hard on any specific event. i'll also say that i actively tried to choose songs that i haven't seen us as a community talk about that much.

Etho - Volta volta is a song about making the conscious decision to be present in your life, taking back control. etho is someone who constantly jumps from thing to thing, never really staying put, and i personally interpret volta as not just consciously taking back control of your life, but also making the decision to settle into something. it is about fighting your nature of running away and choosing to stay. i will admit that this song is about vibes more than lyrical content. still, have some lyrics

"Do you remember being young and eager? My heart was buzzing like a wire Give me a reason to connect, be nearer"

Bdubs - Little Soldiers ON THE BROKEN BACKS OF ALL THE WORDS WE SPARED, LIKE LITTLE SOLDIERS IN THE TRENCHES. IT WAS A MARCH WE MADE TOWARDS RUIN AND DESPAIR BUT WE HELD HANDS ALL THE WHILE. I SWEAR THAT I LOVED YOU. I SWEAR THAT I LOVED YOU. I SWEAR THAT I LOVED YOU---I SWEAR, I SWEAR!!!!

LOOK ME IN THE EYES AND TELL ME THAT DOES NOT FUCKING SCREAM BDUBS. HE LOVES ME. I FOUGHT TOOTH AND NAIL BEFORE THE FLAG HAD FLOWN BUT YOU WERE ALREADY GONE!!!!!!

sorry little soldiers is one of my favorite crane wives songs. two people tied together with barbed wire, knowing that what they're in isn't good but refusing to let go out of a desperate attempt to cling onto love. tell me that isnt ethubs, especially the way we as a fandom dramatize them.

Cleo - High Horse high horse is a song about being a petty, spiteful motherfucker. it is about looking at someone you hold dear who has hurt you, and saying, "you know what? i won't stand for this" and throwing them under the bus.

"I'm done thinking about it You're never gonna get what you want So why feel guilty about it?"

Grian - How to Rest listen. look me in the eyes. i know we all like to pretend, especially in regards to scarian and the desert and double life, that grian did not/does not love scar. that the love, that the friendship, that the real connection they shared was not there because it makes for some juicy angst. look me in the eyes and tell me that grian being outright cruel towards scar is somehow more interesting than grian pretending he does not love scar, when in reality he does. tell me that blatant angst for angst's sake is more interesting than grian looking out for scar, not because of an obligation, but because scar is his friend and his ally and maybe sometimes people just chose to be around each other.

"Here's the truest thing I've ever known The heart is just a muscle with a rhythm all its own It doesn't stop when you decide not to move on The heart knows nothing of your love or of your loss"

Joel - The Wolf oh joel wants SO BAD to be a threat. he wants so badly for people to fear him, to take him seriously, to be the bad guy. however, his attempts at this often fall short, usually due to his own brazen overconfidence and snappy, petty nature. all of this, of course, pushes anyone who he hasn't latched onto away because who would want to align themselves with someone who wants so badly to be a loose canon?

"Can it be Can it be easy for once Cause I’m no good at being kind to myself Or anyone [...] I am a beast at your back You better run for your life"

Jimmy - New Colors i am by no means a jimmy expert, but this song is just so jimmy to me. he is so desperate to do well. new colors is a song about desperation. he is so desperate to be taken seriously, in a similar way to joel, but the difference is nobody ever does. i'm just going to leave you with these lyrics.

"Don't tell me that I can't Oh Lord, don't tell me that I can't I need this so damn bad"

"I give up my sight To see I give up my air To breathe"

Scar - Down The River i'm gonna admit, i really struggled to find one for scar, but i think this one works. scar doesn't put much stock into past grievances if it isn't convenient for him, he will simply move on and pretend he didn't do anything. this is ESPECIALLY relevant in moving between series---all bridges are burned, and must be rebuilt.

"Now, tell me, when you start again Where will you house your skeletons? Or will they stay behind Your settlement in kind?"

this post is getting kind of long, and im gonna admit im not confident enough in my characterization of the rest of the cast to assign them a song, so i'll leave this here for now :)

[b-dubs-valdubs]

a little ethubs fic. they experiment with eyeshadow. enjoy!

fic under the cut, or you can read it on ao3

reblogs appreciated! <3

CW: none! this is pure fluff :)

---------------------

"Hey, Etho," Bdubs called, practically tumbling into the room with armfuls of brightly coloured products, "Which one do you want?"

Etho looked up. "Uh, do you have any turquoise?" he asked.

Bdubs wrinkled his eyebrows, in thought. "I should have? Let's have a look!"

And with that, Bdubs dumped all of the sparkly products onto the bed, alongside the various brushes needed to apply the makeup.

Bdubs had never given someone a makeover before. It was a similar sort of passion to when he'd opened a barbershop back in season seven; he loved making things pretty, and wanted to extend that philosophy to people too.

He'd always wanted to experiment with makeup, like how he'd experimented with hair, but trying to teach himself on his own face was very difficult. Luckily, Etho had volunteered to be his test subject- uh, he means, his canvas.

"Hmm," Etho hummed to himself, looking at all of the different colours availible. "That one," he stated, jabbing a finger towards a glittery teal colour.

"A fine choice, good sir, a fine choice," Bdubs nodded, trying to act professional (which earned a raised eyebrow from Etho, and an answering glare from Bdubs). The professional character soon returned, as Bdubs branished his utensils and proclaimed: "Step into my salon."

Etho looked around him. "What salon..?"

Bdubs narrowed his eyes, "Very funny. I guess the bed is the salon for now, but just you wait! Once I'm done with you people will be begging to have me work my makeover magic on them, I'll practically be forced to build a salon!"

"Yeah, riiiiiiiiiiiight," Etho rolled his eyes, "More like they'll see what you've done to me and ban you from ever using makeup again."

"HEY! Just remember that I'm the one with the makeup here, wise guy. So you better be careful!"

Etho chuckled. "Okay, okay, sorry! Just get this over with."

Bdubs stared at Etho, thinking through his process. "Close your eyes."

Etho obliged. Bdubs dabbed the small, spongy brush into the sparkly powder, before applying it as gently as he could to Etho's eyelids, being sure not to get it everywhere.

Etho huffed. "Feels weird," he mumbled, "Like you're pressing on my eyeballs."

"I'm being as gentle as I can," Bdubs whispered in reply, too concentrated on what he was doing to make any form of snappy remark.

Bdubs worked dilligently, ensuring that the touch of the brush was as light as it could be, while still concentrating on staying within where eyeshadow usually goes.

After Bdubs was done, he brandished a small mirror. "You can look now."

Etho cracked his eyes open one by one, and nervously looked at his reflection. He hummed. "Well done, Bdubs, this is actually decent."

Bdubs practically lit up. "HA! YES! SEE? I TOLD YOU!"

Etho just nodded along, accustomed to Bdubs's bragging by now. "Can I have a turn now?"

Bdubs's face suddenly contorted into an expression of confusion. "You..? Huh?"

"I want a go with the sparkly stuff. May I?"

Hesitantly, Bdubs shuffled a little closer and handed Etho the brush. "Okay... you can take your pick of the colour, I dont mind."

Closing his eyes, Bdubs was beginning to regret giving Etho so much control - but he couldn't find it in his heart to tell Etho to stop, not when he was humming a little tune as he worked.

Etho took a little longer than Bdubs did to finish the eye shadow, and from the amount of pauses that he was making, he seemed to be struggling a little bit. That's okay, Etho was only a beginner, no way he could match up to Bdubs's prowess right away. That would take years of training, at least.

"Hmm, okay. You can open your eyes now," Etho said, sounding a little timid.

Oh, no. What had he done.

Bdubs nervously opened his eyes and looked at his reflection in the mirror, before spluttering in indignation.

It was... beautiful???

Green glitter blended into the gold glitter effortlessly, the sparkles swirling together in a soft gradient that melted into his skin.

"H- how did you... What? Etho?"

Etho simply giggled. "I dunno, beginner's luck?"

Bdubs gasped dramatically. "BEGINNER'S LUCK?? OH, YOU-"

"Hey, dont worry Dubs!" Etho grinned, "You'll still be able to have that salon someday, just a little more practice!"

Bdubs pouted (and Etho found it hilarious). "You're a freaking jerk."

Etho smiled softly. "I know."

[eyelessfog]

hello hi i care about llau falsestress !! <- has yet to read lifeline ever

tell me more about them

THATS OKAY I JUST. i would like to clarify that this is alllll in my head. okay. magpie almost certainly did not mean for me to feel these feelings about them, but to me theyre in love

so false and stress are both astronauts. stress steers the ship and false is the captain. theyre best friends and i appreciate that soooo so sosososo much

and then they pick up tango, whos just dealt with parasites, and then parasites dock on their ship, and then two of thw crew get taken, and then they get sent back in time to the 1300s and theyre left almost entirely alone. sure, there are two other people there, but they never leave thw goddamn tower, and it feels like false and stress are entirely by themselves

and in my head this is when theyre like. theyre in love but theyre not dating? theyre roommates and their relationship is just what it is. theyre never girlfriends theyre just in love and exist with each other. deal with things as they come.

and then wels shows up. this guy is so badly third wheeling ans he doesnt wven knowwww hes just like huh. okay. this is a normal thing thats happening <- guy who lived exclusively with men, and then lived by himself for the past Many years

theyre just. very domestic kind of? everything is weird and screwed up and they live in 1300s england and they dont know what theyre doing!!!! but theyre together and theyre just. living. and in love. theyre so important to each other you dont get it

and then everything goes wrong all at once

stress leaves, which is fine, stress leaves all the time - she can take care of herself. better than false can, in some ways. but then wels’ clone shows up and they kill him and he falls to the bottom of the tower and bdubs and etho are gone - and false allows herself a moment to realize that she never knew that bdubs and etho were gone which means that she has no clue how long its been since they disappears

and then she follows after stress but stress is gone and her neighbours are dead and infected and she lets their bodies fall to rest because theyre ALREADY dead and this is a mimicry of them that’s puppetting their bodies and they said that they touched stress and they deserve nothing less than to be burned

shes so protective of stress and im normal about that prommy

god no yeah im skipping straight to the chapel its. i want some people to be able to read it for the first time so

okay so in the chapel scene, false finds stress finally and it all feels so tension filled because you know something is wrong and sometimes you know WHAT is wrong [i certainly did] and its terrifying and false is asking stress to come home because how could they not go home together?

and stress wraps her arms around false’s neck and hugs her and she apologies and false doesn’t get why but then stress pushes her down and theres a grub in her mouth and stress has opened her eyes and her eyes are red and false realizes that stress has already died and shes being puppetted by an alien. and wels comes to get stress off of her and stress wrangles herself out of her grip and false has had a gun under her skirt for forever, and finally she pulls it out to use it and

stress is already dead

it doesnr make shooting her through the skull feel any better

and to me its. what if someone stole your lover and put her face on and said “i love you” in the only way either of you have ever said i love you, and it tried to kill you too and it made you stare into her eyes as you killed her killer and. and. and you press your boot down on the grubs that killed your lover and you send wels away to go get you fire so you can burn them to hell and when he’s gone you cry. because your lover is gone and you didnt kill her, but it feels like you did, and she’s gone

and you don’t really get over it either. you get cloned, and your clone gets grubbed and your clone keeps saying that YOU killed her with your own two hands and a gun, but you didnt. you killed the being that was pretending to be her, and youre trying to kill the being that is pretending to be YOU but she keeps saying you didnt love her enough because if you loved her you would have let her live, and you keep saying she was already dead, but your other is infected too. and maybe she’s right

but this has long since become your life mission - to get rid of the grubs - and you can’t drop it now. you can’t doubt yourself now.

and you kill her, and you killed stress, and you swear to yourself that all you ever did was lay the dead to rest. surely. surely.

and then t=♾ and there’s stress again and she isnt grubbed and you missed her and you love her and youve loved her and-

but she says that she was alive even when she was grubbed and her eyes arent red so you cant force yourself to believe that her mind isnt clear, and then your double says that you wouldn’t have killed her if you loved her but you KNOW that you killed her BECAUSE you loved her but everything is breaking apart and maybe you killed the one you love and then

and then stress is back, and ren is there and both of them are people you failed but theyre both something like alive and you think that maybe you were the monster the whole time

explaining this is just. they were in love and stress died, whether when she was infected or when false killed her and grieving over her has made false who she is and WAUGH

[riacte]

HBomb watching Grian’s world tour.

It’s like 1h 30mins long with the commentary. Here’s some highlights lol. Keep in mind most of this is paraphrased :P

*seeing Grian has 61 eps* Hermitcraft is nuts. They are so invested and talented.”

“Did they makes little railing things to send messages to each other? That’s the cutest thing ever. It’s like when you’re living on treehouses with your next door neighbour.” OK HBOMB WAIT TILL YOU SEE THE SEASON WHEN REN AND FALSE LITERALLY LIVE IN THE SAME AREA.

Grian, about the mansion: It’s lacking soul

H: WHERE??

H FREAKING OUT ABT STRESS’S BUTTERFLIES

About Grian’s chest monsters: “I’m starting to realize me and Grian have a lot in common.”

“You can give villagers dragon heads?”

He was stunned into silence by Scar’s Big Dig. For like fifteen seconds. Just gaping.

About the Big Dig: that’s more work by Scar than we put into Dream SMP

AND YEAH HE HASN’T EVEN SEEN THE SHOPPING DISTRICT???

About Mumbo’s base: “This is so beautiful”

H said people really under appreciate Minecraft grass and leaves. YEAH HE’S ON TEAM HEP LMAO.

He smiled so much at Grian and Mumbo’s shenanigans lol.

He screamed “ISKALL!” the moment the Omega Tree came into view. And he proudly told chat “I KNOW THAT GUY!”

H legit made the POG face when he saw Stress’ base. “I thought they all lived super far from each other.” “I know Stress too!! She’s on Vault Hunters!”

“I wanna see more of the dragonflies”

“Renpog renpog renpog? That’s my MCC9 Teammate”

About Ren: “he’s nuts”

About Ren’s Darth Vader base: “this would take me a full year to build”

AND THEN REN SAID “<3 <3 <3” in chat

“We love Ren in this chat. Ren’s out of his mind.”

Now he said Ren put in more effort than everyone on DSMP except Sam.

Grian: I struggle with terraforming

H: I struggle with everything compared to the Hermitcrafters.”

“It’s so crazy!” H said while massaging his head.

“Mumbo Baggins.”

“I forgot about Keralis! I haven’t watched him in so long.”

H also stared at Keralis’ build for ten seconds just making the Pog face.

“I can’t tell how big that is. 30 blocks or 300.”

“I feel like there’s always 40 people on the server.” Good try, H. Lol.

Grian fell down Keralis’ hotel’s elevator chute but flew himself to safety. “Grian’s at 3 hearts. Thank God’s he’s so good with an elytra.”

H about graffiti: “Oh I love this”

H saw the Keralis Bee in front of X’s base and instantly made the same face.

Grian admitted he doesn’t watch his friends.

H: as a content creator, it’s very awkward to watch your friends. 100%.

He said Etho was the first MCYT he fanboyed over aaaa

About Etho’s base: ohh it’s so cool

“I love that the beacon is going through the end crystal!”

About Wel’s base:

Grian: I don’t think he’s on very much

H: that’s more than I built in my lifetime

H confusedly squinting and peering at Zedaph’s base lmaoo

About Tango’s base: “that looks straight out of a Doctor Suess novel. I LOVE IT. I LOVE THESE TWO (Tango and Impulse’s) BUILDINGS.”

About Impulse’s base: the quartz and water combined look really cool

Grian, about Impulse’s base: is this mega?

H: y e s

Grian: no

H: that thing is freaking huge. I’ll say that’s mega. That’s huge. It’s mega.

Grian: it’s not mega

H: it goes down the water IT’S MEGA

H ARGUING WITH GRIAN ABOUT MEGA

H stared at Tango’s base for fifteen secs. “I love it. I love it. Chat, have I ever told you I love it.”

“Did he make an iron farm with ravagers?!”

Grian: I don’t know what I’m doing with farms

H: I don’t know what I’m doing 24/7

LMAO BOTH H AND GRIAN BEING CONFUSED BY TANGO’S PEASHOOTER CREEPER FARM

HE RECOGNIZED FALSE’S BASE AYYYY

“She’s nuts, chat”

“When I raid False, I ask my chat to ask her to show her base because it’s so freaking cool”

Grian: is False’s base mega

Grian: this is juuuuust mega

H, screaming: JUST? I’m gonna throw hands with Grian

H: LET’S TALK. CHAT.

Then he proceeded to talk about False’s water at the bottom of her base and how she had to place water sources and blocks (chat told him she used ice, but hey it’s the thought that counts)

“That’s insane, chat!! It’s so cool!”

“I’m ready to throw hands with Grian.”

He wanted to win the mega argument with Grian lol. “Hbomb VS Grian.”

“I actually don’t know what Grian looks like irl. He might beat me up.”

H stared at Cleo’s armour stands. “OHH THAT’S SICK!”

“WHY IS SHE ABLE TO MAKE BETTER MINECRAFT CREATURES THAN MOJANG. EXPLAIN.”

“I’m still mad at you on the megabase thing. Other than that, we’re good.”

He watched False make the Nether hub on Twitch.

Grian: X made this Nether build-

H: X gonna give it to ya

“Ren and False are just built differently.”

H’s face legit froze when he saw Cub’s base. And he bellowed “WHY?!”

H: size matters

“Link’s ready to throw hands with Grian” (Link is H’s dog)

“He managed to make our Targay look absolutely irrelevant.”

“Do you think they’ll let me on to play with them? Just for like, twenty minutes? 🥺👉👈”

“THAT IS DOPE!!”

“Walls made out of ancient debris. Jesus Christ. WHY?!”

Pomo, donation: impulse once raised his base by one block bcz he thought it looked better

H: oh no

“Imagine there was an ancient debris wall on the Dream SMP, chat. It would be there for an hour. Maybe two. Maybe.”

“Doc was another Minecracker”

He was so relieved when he saw Joe’s stuff lol. Since people can be “normal”.

About Mt. Goatmore: OHH THAT’S DOPE!

He went to a Bdubs meet up when he was in college. And had a photo and autograph of Bdubs and Gen.

“Yo that cliff is dope”

About Bdubs’ castle: I won’t be surprised if he used diamond blocks.

“I love how Bdubs use the nether wood trapdoors.”

He loved the anvil droppers thing and said he’s gonna steal the idea. He also mentioned Beef and Mindcrack.

H is such a HC stan now lol. AND HE WANTS TO PLAY THE HC MINIGAMES. PLEASE LET THE MAN ON. Also he’s gonna vibe so well with Grian. Not only do they have similar views in MCC but also in a lot of other things (don’t watch their friends, chest monsters, etc).

[theres-an-impulstor-among-us]

Heyo, reporting back to request a continuation of a continuation of a continuation, if you wouldn't mind! Aka, please more 3rd Life Villainpulse angst, I'm so invested (and very curious as to whether his latest murder attempt was an actual success, or if he really should have stuck around to verify the death...)

i genuinely rly love this! i’ve got such plans for it now that i think i’ll make it into an actual proper fic.

i’ve also now posted it on AO3, titled Stand For Nothing! link here

…

Impulse is getting concerned. It’s been over five minutes and no death message in chat. It should’ve happened by now. He had been worried about being found near the scene of a death — it’d already been about five minutes since the meeting and someone would’ve gone to find Skizz, so his items would almost certainly be found — but now he’s starting to think he should have stuck around anyway and made sure the job was finished.

He had been intending to stay here at his villager trading centre until the death notification came up and then he would run back to Dogwarts and play the distressed best friend.

But no death message. So his plan has to change.

When he makes it back to Dogwarts, he finds Ren standing outside the Renchanting building, his face pale. When he spots Impulse, he quickly beckons him. “Impulse! For the love of god, where’ve you been?!”

Impulse blinks. With no death message in chat, what can Ren be so worked up about? “W-What? What’s happened…?”

“Skizzle’s been attacked! We heard an explosion outside our walls and when we went to check, we found him out there, passed out. He’s in a critical condition but Martyn’s with him now and hopefully he’ll recover.”

Impulse can only stare at Ren with an open mouth and a pit in his stomach. Somehow, in all the possible outcomes he pictured for this scenario, he never imagined Dogwarts would actually find Skizz alive. After three perfect murders, it seems he got careless.

“O-Oh my god,” he manages to choke out. “C-Can I see him?”

“Not yet, but Martyn will tell us when we can.”

Ren takes him down into the living area under Renchanting. There, Etho is pacing back and forth in front of a closed door, clearly deep in thought, but he glances up as Ren comes in. “Ren, you found him.”

Ren nods, even though it wasn’t really a question. “Any word?”

“Not yet. Martyn has three healing potions in there with him though, so I’d say Skizz’s chances are really good.”

Impulse has to strain to keep his expression steady at that. “G-Good. That’s good.”

Something changes almost imperceptibly in Etho’s expression, but Ren, clearly not noticing, rubs Impulse’s back reassuringly. “He’ll be okay, Impulse. Don’t worry.”

All Impulse can do is nod, not trusting himself to speak.

Finally, after what feels like hours, the door opens and Martyn appears, his body blocking the view inside the room. “He’s awake,” he reports, a very serious look on his face. “Ren.”

Ren quickly ducks into the room, but when Impulse starts to follow, Martyn blocks him. “Not you,” he says coldly. “Etho, stay with him, please.”

Impulse’s heart freezes. There’s only one reason Martyn would stop him from seeing his injured best friend.

Skizz has told him everything.

He takes a step back and bumps into something behind him, causing him to jump.

“What’s going on, Impulse?” asks Etho casually, an only-just-discernible undertone of danger in his voice. “You seem a little tense.”

“My best friend almost died,” Impulse replies coldly, but even he can tell his words are unconvincing.

“Indeed. I wonder how that happened?”

“I don’t like what you’re implying, Etho. Why would you have any reason to suspect me?”

Etho just folds his arms and says nothing, infuriating Impulse. “You said I was the only person on this server you really trust!”

“That was before I joined these guys. I’ve had a weird feeling in my stomach about you for a while, Impulse. Something hasn’t felt right since this whole thing started, but I assumed it was just me trying to apply rationality to this irrational world. But one thing never changes, Impulse. No matter how much you try to change it.”

Impulse falls silent, scowling at the ground. He’s already given away too much in his tone and expression.

He glances sideways at Etho, who has his eyes fixed on the door Ren and Martyn went through. Realisation dawns on him: Etho isn’t expecting him to put up a fight. Etho thinks he has nowhere to go.

Now is the time, then. He can’t afford to wait any longer; when Ren and Martyn come back out here, it’s over. Impulse knows he can’t take on three people at once. This is his last chance to escape alive.

So when Etho shifts position a few seconds later, Impulse strikes. Before he can react, Impulse sweeps Etho’s legs out from under him and shoves him into the wall as he’s falling. Without waiting around to see the result of his attack, Impulse takes off running.

He makes it out of Renchanting and is just about to run down the hill towards the crastle when an arrow whizzes by him, nicking the sleeve of his t-shirt and causing him to lose his balance. Suppressing a scream, Impulse topples down the hill and lands in the shallow river at the bottom. He tries to continue onward but has to stop as he puts weight on his left foot and realises he must have twisted his ankle during his fall.

Gritting his teeth through the throbbing pain, he looks up in time to be able to dodge another arrow fired at him by the figure on top of Dogwarts’s wall.

He has to keep going.

Every step on his left foot is agony but he pushes himself on, half-galloping down the hill on the other side, the crastle in his sights.

“Bdubs!” he shrieks as he draws near, his heart racing. The Red Army is likely right behind him. “BDUBS!”

The person he’s calling rushes out of the castle over the drawbridge just in time to catch Impulse as he finally loses his balance and pitches forward.

“Impulse! You’re soaking wet!? What the-?!”

“Th- They’re coming for me,” he croaks. His eyes flicker up and he spots two faces in the windows on the second floor. It’s time for the performance of his life. “Dogwarts turned on me! They think I killed Tango and Cleo a-a-and made you kill Joel!”

“What?!” gasps Bdubs. “That’s ridiculous! Why would they think that?!”

“I-I don’t know but th- They’re gonna kill me, Bdubs…!”

“Not on my watch!”

Bdubs quickly ushers Impulse inside the crastle and into the waiting arms of Jimmy. Together, the two guide Impulse upstairs and lay him down in the bed Grian has placed in a position safely away from the slit windows.

“What happened, Impulse?” Bdubs asks softly. “How did they turn on you?”

Impulse takes a shaky breath. “Something happened to Skizz. He… He got attacked. Then he told everyone it was me and that I’d killed Tango and Cleo and manipulated you into killing Joel.”

“First of all, that’s utterly ridiculous,” Bdubs snaps. “I killed Joel because he was about to kill you. And second, why on earth would you want to kill Tango or Cleo?”

“I-I think you might’ve been right, Bdubs. I th-think Etho was responsible for Cleo’s death. And now he’s got Dogwarts trying to make me a scapegoat.”

Bdubs’s gaze darkens. “Despicable little-.”

“BDOUBLEO!”

“Stay there,” says Bdubs.

He strides to the window, flanked by Grian and Scott, armed with his crossbow. “What do you want, Ren?”

Down on the ground, having left Skizz in the care of BigB, stand Ren, Martyn, and Etho, staring up at the castle. The latter two hold bows, while Ren is armed with a sword and shield.

“We know Impulse is hiding out in there,” Ren announces, with the regal but dangerous air of a king. “Hand him over to us, Bdubs.”

“No way in hell,” Bdubs snaps back. “He told me everything!”

“We can guarantee you he did not,” responds Martyn steadily. “Not the truth, anyway. He’s using you, Bdubs.”

“YOU’re the ones using HIM! As a scapegoat!”

“Impulse isn’t the angel you think he is, Bdubs,” Etho says darkly. “You’re protecting the person who killed Cleo.”

“No, YOU killed Cleo,” snarls Bdubs. “And I bet you killed Tango too and tried to blame it on me! You’re just trying to frame anyone you can so you can get away with it!”

Despite the pain and stress he’s experiencing, Impulse can’t help feeling proud of himself. The seeds of doubt and suspicion he’s sown between Bdubs and Etho are paying off now.

“Bdubs.” Ren’s voice drops slightly as emotion creeps into his tone. “He attacked his best friend and left him to die. If we hadn’t found him in time, Skizz would have succumbed to his injuries alone and terrified in the middle of nowhere, murdered by his own best friend.”

“What exactly is Impulse’s motive supposed to be, here?” Scott asks suddenly. “You say he killed Tango and Cleo, orchestrated Joel’s death, and tried to murder Skizzle. Why exactly would he want to do that?”

“Skizz claims Impulse said it was because Tango “knew too much” about something,” Martyn says. “Some kind of secret that Impulse is keeping. And that Cleo’s and Joel’s deaths were “necessary to push the war forward”. That’s his motive, Scott. Impulse wants war, and he doesn’t care who he hurts to get it.”

“We ARE talking about the same Impulse, right?” demands Bdubs. “Our Impulse? The sweetheart who wouldn’t hurt a fly? Are we sure Skizz didn’t just misremember? He's a little unreliable like that. Maybe he said it was someone else who-.”

“Don’t you dare!” Martyn bursts out suddenly, his voice filled with the most venom anyone had ever heard it. “Don’t you DARE say that! You weren’t there, Bdubs! You didn’t have to fix his broken ribs and his fractured neck and his shattered arm! You weren’t there when he finally woke up after several minutes of crying out and panicked breathing like he was having a nightmare! You didn’t hear the way he cried, how terrified he was when he told me what happened, the raw agony in his voice! That’s not the demeanor of someone who MISREMEMBERED! Skizz has gone through hell today and it’s all Impulse’s fault! So I’m not leaving here without his head, in one form or another!”

“YEAH!” Ren yells in agreement, hitting his sword against his shield. “No more arguments. No more wasting time. If you don’t give us Impulse right NOW, we will declare war on you and take him by force.”

Inside the crastle, Impulse’s heart skips a beat. This is it: the moment of truth. Either everything he’s been working towards will finally come to fruition… or Bdubs will hand him over and he will die.

Bdubs straightens up, a steely look of determination appearing in his eyes.

“Then consider us at war.”

[give-grian-rights]

HERMITCRAFT 8 LIVEBLOGGING

fifteen hermits worth of liveblogging. i am losing my mind. LONG POST AHEAD.

JOE HILLS (First HC8 Video)

Mumbo did the speech. he forgot everything he was supposed to say <3

Pearl and Gemini were just .in a pit . having stuff thrown onto them

Every Hermit is staying on the same continent !!

FIRST DEATHS VERY QUICKLY, Iron Golems took out Tango and Etho (maybe more?)

Joe seems to be the only one looting the chests

Evil Jevin !!

Evil Xisuma appearance on Jevin’s 60 second video!

Pearl has something planned for an “archeticual wonder” for a resupply area upon death?

Stress, Xisuma and Joe are capturing villagers and starting up a resupply debut.

Bdubs is killed by Cleo and is now OUT FOR BLOOD

First death counts- Etho, Tango, Bdubs, Cleo?

Cleo was killed by Keralis

Joe has now supplied Cleo with weapons and food . She left but not before saying “Time to kill BDubs again!”

Gemini was killed by Bdubs! They both died and are now at spawn.

Pearl was killed by Cleo

Pearl is planning a respawn inn !!

Cleo was killed by Iskall

Cleo was killed by Pearl

False, Stress, and Gemini team up??? AA!!! they brought a delivery of supplies to Joe <3

i wish i knew what was happening on that end .

APPARENTLY XISUMA IS ONTO MAKING THE SECOND VILLAGER BREEDER ALREADY ??

Iskall is the first with Diamonds??

Breathe in that ash !

WAIT IS TANGOS EYES LIKE THAT RN BECAUSE HES TEAMED WITH KERALIS AND BDUBS ???

KERALIS, BDUBS, AND TANGO TRIED TO DO A SHAKEDOWN ON JOE. HE TRIED TO DROP LAVA, GOT HIMSELF ONTO TWO HEARTS BECAUSE HE PLACED IT ON HIMSELF, AND IS NOW SWIMMING OUT INTO THE SWAMP

the big eyed trio are now off to shake down Gemini

Joe fell in Lava in the Nether

Joe Death To Lava Two: Electric Boogaloo

Joe drowned trying to kill a glowsquid

WATCH JOE’S VIDEO OH MY GOD SEAN HILLS RECAP RAP??? MY BELOVED????? i am gonna be streaming this unironically later LIKE OH MY GOD THIS SLAPS. ALSO THE CREDITS AT TEH END IS HILARIOUS

Zedaph Episode Recap

Zed gave us a recap of the continent every Hermit will be living on !!

Wouldn’t recommend Zedaph as the first video for the season, he skips the intro/speech but it’s Zedaph and hes making it fun!! Lots of nice editing :)

~SCIENCE TIME !~

Zedaph.. why is your starter base made out of concrete ?

There are no sheeps whatsoever on his mountain

Hes calling his lab an icecream sandwich..yeah i see it

Zed tried to make a portal underater...f

Scar died to a creeper </3

Zedaphs base is gonna be tracking how long hes there/someones loading the chunk!

XISUMA LIVE BLOGGING

A cool cinema scene of him becoming an axolotl!! <3

NOW I CAN SEE IT, GRIAN WAS THE FIRST DEATH!! Death by Iron Golem!!

XIsuma’s baseplans need over 45 THOUSAND BLOCKS TO BE PLACED

He’s also planning on making a shulkershell farm!!

i’m not gonna lie ! talking axolotl X is horrifying ! thanks !

Day one Villager Breeder... chaos.

Xisuma Derp! looked straight at a buncha wool and said how badly he needed beds and then walked away

THE GIRLS CAME OVER AND CONVINCED HIM HE NEEDS TO MOVE THE DESIGN OVER MY FIVE BLOCKS FOR SWAMP VILLAGERS..

THE GIRLS ARE JUST LAUGHING AT HIM AND HIS VILLAGER TROUBLES

day one and Xisuma has got his axolotl!!

Very pretty starterbase!!

XB’s

..I’m not gonna lie theres not much to say!! He’s very calm :) he says hes going into it without a plan, and htat last season was the only time he had any thought of what he was gonna do.

He made a real nice starter house and thats about it!

Cleo’s

Bdubs: “She ain’t gonna hurt me!! i’m invincible, babey!”

Cleo learnt that BDubs will never hurt her even if she deserves it . I am starting to realize why she kills him

SHE DECIDED SHES GONNA BE A PROPER CHAOS GREMLIN THIS SEASON...

AISDJASID CLEO GOT PAID TO KILL BDUBS?? HDUIAIHSI SCAR WHY

“Alright I found my mission for the season! Murder.”

Cleo, Mumbo, Grian, and Scar are all holed up in a cave together!

..Scar died from a skeleton !

Cleo has now split from Grian and Mumbo! Scar is missing in action

CLEO FOUND A GOAT

SHES KILLING THE GOAT???

she got a HORSE <3 and Joe gave her a saddle! I think her name is..Widget?

She LOVES the candles for shamboo n waterbottles and bits n bobs for her armorstands!!

Got her Armorstand stickgod book <3

Geminitay POV

NEW HERMIT NEW HERMIT NEW HERMIT!!

She has a LOVELY voice!!

The pov of her in a hole . being surrrounded . is kinda hilarious

It might’ve been Etho who was first death?? I GENUIENLY CANNOT TELL BECAUSE OF EDITING

All the murder was just for heads!

Seriously her voice is. wow

WE LOVE A QUEEN WHO KNOWS HOW TO CRAFT A SHIELD WITHOUT USING THE GUIDE <3

False, Gemini, and Stress are on the great journey for MOSS !

Gem just blew their minds with the moss.

TANGO KERALIS AND BDUBS ARE BACK Keralis: “Show the diamonds show the diamonds show the diamonds!” Gem: “Keralis. This is not how you make friends.”

The boys suecessfully recieved a diamond each

Etho n Iskall are travelling together!! You dont see those two together often

Etho got a glowsquid head!!

Gem: “Etho doesn’t share, is what i’m learning..?”

Etho hooked her with a fishing rod and said she has to do what he said .

In order to get the diamonds, Tango, Keralis, and BDubs placed down a sign saying “Gem is Great!” and Gem used a glow inksack on it.

Etho: “So..What is this? Do you have an ego, or this a motivational thing, or..?” He said, while laughing

Iskall: “I think its really funny that you have set your base up in the middle of a birch forest.” Gem: “I love birch forests! Do you not like my birch forest? Iskall: “I love it, yeah.” Gem: “This is the best biome in the game, Iskall.” Iskall: “Mmmm..” Etho: “I’m pretty sure I heard Iskall talking earlier that like, of all the biomes in the game, there was one he hated more than anything. Gem: “Oh really? And what was that one?” Iskall: “..Taiga.” Gem: “Taiga.. That’s true, thats a good one, thats a good one.” Iskall: “Don’t like Taiga.” Gem: “Mhm.” Etho: “Which one do you hate more than anyone?” Iskall: “..Diorite fields. Thats a bad one.” Etho: “Yeah thats a bad one.” Gem: “Didn’t know about that one. Well make sure to avoid’em. Birch forests are really good.” Iskall: “I’m a big fan of birch forests.” Gem: “Yeah, me too, me too. I’m glad we’re on the same page :) This is so beautiful! All the white and- and the like zebra stripes! is fantastic.” Iskall: “I..Um.. Yes.”

OH SHE’S CANADIAN,, ETHO HAS A FRIEND /j

She’s still in college :O SHE’S A SCIENTIST?? SHES WORKING AT A HOSPITAL?? POG!!

She accidentally found an enchanted golden apple in a mineshaft!! she thinks its the first she ever found in survival!!

She has a cow, sheep, and a few crop farms set up!! Her starter house has INTERRIOR!

SHE CHANGED HER SKIN AND ITS SO PRETTY AND HAS OVERALL AND I LOVE IT!!

shes doing a cottage core inspired base!

WOAHH!!! SHE MADE HTE MOST GOREGOUS CUSTOM TREE I’VE EVER SEEN ??

BDUBS IS HERE and he is so so so impressed by the tree ?!

also hes carrying a clock.. :(

He’s here with a present!

HE BROUGHT BAMBOO!

she thinks its so funny that he stops conversations to sleep AOIDHFEAUI\

SCARS

WE GOT A TRANSITION SCENE!! the canonical reason for the bed in his old village always being occupied is because underneath it, was his wizard portal!

Bdubs: “It’s a new season! You’re the little guy now!”

They are all very amused by that ^

they’re rubbing the fleece of bdubs jacket .

Bdubs: “Have a nice rub :)” PLEASEAHSIOJDIUASLDHIASDA

His starter base is gonna be a wagon and he wants the end game to be a bioshock esque skyscraper!

he confused a horse for a player . flashback to iskall thinking mumbo was a mob

PEOPLE THINK MUMBO DOESNT HAVE PANTS ON.... </3

Scar, Mumbo, and Grian.. have NO braincells. at all. THey just placed a crafting table with a boat on top with a bed on top with a boat on top .

this is what BROS FOR LIFE looks like.

BOATEM POLE !

SCAR IS STUCK UNDERGROUND IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT IRL AND HAS NO PICKAXE..

AND HE DIED TO A CREEPER .

it seems like Grian, Mumbo, and Scar are working together !!!! HOLY SHIT !!

THERES SO SO SO MANY FARMS???????

he died several times trying to catch a skeleton with a sword

FIRST CHEST MONSTER OF THE SEASON <3

SCAR JSUT TOLD BDUBS HE LOOKS LIKE OSCAR THE CROUCH... BDUBS CANNOT EVEN ARGUE

OH NO.... GRIAN WENT AFK IN A HOLE . WITHOUT A HELMET .

THEY PUT A  GLOWSQUID HEAD ON HIM

OH MY GOD MUMBO MADE A NOTEBLOCK SONG?? AJUDA

SCARS BUILTING IS SO SO SOOS GOREGOUS SERIOUSLY GO WATCH THE VIDEO OH MY GOD ITS HUGE

its a giant ass house boat wagon . its pulled by a llama . that killed him . so now its trapped, pulling hte agon, forever

Grian: “..Thats a very big house, for a very little hat.”

GRIANS SUPER SPECIAL EGG??

SCAR PUNCHED IT..

they really came out here . and killed the egg already.

Scar: “..I touched the thing”

TANGO POV

We see the three big eyed boys forming <3 they interrupted Tangos intro

THEY’RE BULLYING HIM ABOUT HAVING SMALL EYES AHIDUIASUHDWIS

HE TRIED TO CALL THE TRIO TEAM BUG EYE... THE OTHERS ARE VERY OFFENDED

they found an axolotl and Bdubs was TERRIFIED just screaming “WHAT IS THAT YELLOW THING?!”

BDUBS IS ATTACKING IT ???

okay nope Bdubs caught one and Tango lost it

Bdubs is naming his axolotl Idiot

AMAZING HOUSE. WHY IS TANGO SO GOOD AT BUILDING AND REDSTONE??

Impulse POV

MUMBO TRIED TO PLACE DOWN A BERRY BUSH TO HURT IMPULSE . HE FORGOT HOW BUSHES WORK..

I DIDNT EVEN NOTICE THAT IMPULSE WAS IN THE BOATEM POLE

so it looks like those four are hteo nes who grouped up together

PEARL BROKE THE CONSTITUION SHE GOT IN THE WRONG BOAT SMH

THIS IS SEASON EIGHT! FIVE BROS !

So its gonna be about five people in the same area!!

YOO!! Fantasy build for Impulse!!

G gave Impulse a spyglass, they had a fun moment of zooming in on eachothers face and complimenting eachother IHAUDIHAW

Grian and Impulse worked on an xp farm!

ASHDUIWAHISD GRIAN JUST LOGGED ON INFRONT OF HIM

a pillager stole his boat . not just any pillager . the one with a banner. </3

he has to live with Mumbo tuning a song .. </3 haha

Mumbo POV

it took fifteen seconds until Grian ran in during Mumbos intro

CONFIRMED? GRIAN WAS FIRST DEATH?

SECOND PERSON TO THINK MUMBOS PANTS ARE SKIN COLOR. GRIAN..

Grian: “Can you..Briefly explain why you’re just wearing a hawaiian shirt?” Mumbo: “Uh- what do you mean ‘just wearing a hawaiin shirt? I have shorts on as-well, dude”

FOLLOWED BY

Mumbo: “Can you explain why you’re wearing a red jumper?” Grian: “You know- you know i was born with this!”

MUMBO AND GRIAN STOLE THE BOAT LOOT FROM RENDOC

I THINK RENDOC JUST STOLE THE DIAMOND MUMBO THREW??

Grian: “Is that Scar?” Mumbo: “I can’t see past your giant waffle!”

DSFSDFJIOA they did an edit where they placed down a boat, both Mumbo and Grian got in, they made noises and then bopped up on top of the ravine they were in <3

THEY HAVE NO BRAINCELL THEY JUST PLACED DOWN A BENCH AND SAID “THIS IS THE MARK OF OUR VILLAGE!” and then placed a torch and a boat and a bed and aANOTHER BED..

..Mumbo is trying to be a pacifist this season!

Grian’s taunting him with beheaded things

And obviously part of being pacifist means he’s gonna be vegetarian in minecraft!

..he cannot use monster farms because pacifisim..

Mumbo was in the middle of reading the magical Timmy shack that Tango made (did i remember to mention that? who knows) and IN THE MIDDLE OF GETTING TO THE PART ABOUT IF YOU REMOVE STUFF FROM THE CHEST, NOTHING WILL BE ADDED IN IT AGAIN. Grian opened the chest . Mumbo SHOUTED HIAUDHUW Grian jumped man

They renamed it “Cave of Do Not Enter” HIAUEDUH

Mumbo and Scar BOTH did not know- at least Mumbo didn’t, Scar forgot,  that podzol spawns from two-by-two spruce..

him and his guitar song to be played underneath his house.. it goes with the aesthetic i suppose

MAN HE NEEDS SO MUCH HAYBALES I FORGOT THATS NEEDED FOR THE TUNE HE WANTS

Mumbo: “What.. On Earth.. Scar, it’s meant to be a starterbase, buddy! What is this? This is many things, many many things, a starterbase is NOT one of them!”

HE LITERALLY DIDNT KNOW THAT THE DRAGON EGG TELEPORTS... WHEN YOU TOUCH IT...

BDUBS

nothing special we havent seen yet!! just him screaming about axolotls.

He was working in the Mesa in his intro, skipping the “speech” from Mumbo

He released Idiot the Axolotl and lost it .

Him SCREAMING “Gemini” is HILARIOUS

While Gemini gave away those three diamonds, Keralis got so excited he won a bet with Tango and Bdubs, that he gave back . two of the diamonds . and none of htem released until well after they left

Bdubs: “That’s why i have my mwoss skin!” PLEASE I LOVE THE WAY HE SAYS IT.. make the moss hood.. REAL..

it took me a while to figure out what his base is but i LOVE IT so so much!!!

Nothing much new to add !!

Stress pov

please i love her . very good !! False seems to have joined her sheerly because Stress sounded like she knew what she was doing. she does not.

False felt peerpressured and asked Stress for permission to fight her because everyone was killing eachother .

It ended up with Stress following False. they found a village!

ISKALL only saw him one other time today!!

JEVIN APPEARS AGAIN !

XISUMA FELL INTO HTE BREEDER AND IT WAS SO FUNN IUAHHYIAUSD

Ren: “Ya look goregous, Stress!” Stress: “Thanks! Don’t murder my dog!”

She’s so proud of herself for caving!! (with False n Gem

Iskall blew up!

..Iskall fell from a high place

Stress has a LOVELY ravine base!!

False

False wants to become pirates with Stress <3

gatekeep gaslight girlboss

BIG OL MUSHROOM HOUSE !!

it looks like a mushroom church and i LOVE IT.

Nothing new we didn’t see from Gem. She does want to come up with a banner design for her base, though!

Grian

..Mumbo just thought Grian had a purpose so decided to follow him <3

ALSO HIS INTRO, AS HE JOKED ABOUT IN THE OTHERS VIDEO, WAS, IN FACT, THE BOATEM POLE

Grian is SO PROUD of the fact taht they got good loot from a treasure map. Ren and Doc are NOT IMPRESSED

Grian: “Lets go, potato boy!”

Mumbo: “I don’t have to replace everything I break! Peace Love and Plants- are these plants..?” He says, mining amethyst

pants

he who controls the egg, controls the server... Grian.. you’re doing great sir

...He decided.. his goal.. is to make his OWN..caves and cliffs update... HELLO..?

Grian was the first one to kill the enderdragon, MAN. Speedrunning career WHEN? /j

Grian: “And now [Mumbo] is flexing on my bed!”

he might not have a base. but he has an egg.

It is now 2am. i cannot do this anymore. This will be continued.. tomorrow!

[some-days-we-get-sundays]

Relationship Q&A - Wildmoore Edition

Who confessed feelings first?

Sophie. Definitely Sophie. Ryan is too damn stubborn to admit or even realize that she has feelings for Sophie. Sophie knew for a while that she had feelings for Ryan and she had an inkling that Ryan liked her back but she knew that Ryan would not realize it or admit it if she did realize. Sophie admittedly wanted to start kissing Ryan and going out with her romantically instead of always leaving their hangouts feeling unsatisfied lol so she knew she had to make the first move. When she did, Ryan slapped her playfully on the arm and said, damn Soph, it took you look enough. 

Nicknames for each other? 

Ryan still calls Sophie, “Crowphie” but it’s endearing and playful and Sophie doesn’t mind it. She calls her, “Soph” as well. They both call each other bae, babe, boo, baby. Sophie calls Ryan, “Ry Ry” and also calls her “Shawty/shorty.” When they’re playing video games and it gets competitive, Ryan refers to herself as “Bdub” short for BW (batwoman). Bdub finna drop this 30 piece on your head Soph. Sophie usually let’s Ryan win when they play 2k because she thinks it’s cute when Ryan gets competitive and gloats. 

Who apologizes first in fights?

Since they are enemies to lovers they are used to fighting with each other and not seeing eye to eye. So they don’t ever really freak out about a big fight. They know one of them will eventually come around. Even though Ryan is more stubborn and hard headed, it’s usually her that apologizes first. Sophie can’t stay mad at Ryan’s puppy dog face and her sweet smile. They always hug and then Ryan says, Soph, I’m sorry. And then Sophie immediately says, no, babe, I’m sorry. They are good at talking through their issues and know how to have  healthy communication Then once they talk they have a lot of make up sex and cuddles. 

Who said I love you first?

Ryan said it first. Ryan was in the batsuit and she thought she was about to die after getting bested in a big fight. She turned on her comms and told Mary and Luke to get Sophie on the line.  

Soph? 

Yeah I’m here babe, what is it?

Sophie, I love you. Ryan said this with zero hesitation in her voice. She turned off the batsuit voice manipulator so that Sophie could hear Ryan’s real voice when she told her. 

You wha-

I love you. I’m in love with you. And I have been for a while now. I wanted to tell you but I didn’t know the right time. I thought maybe I would take you to dinner at our favorite spot, but it doesn’t look like I’m gonna make it. Ryan’s breath was coming out in short bursts and she was struggling. Sophie heard the distress. 

BABE, Ryan talk to me! What’s happening? 

I’m ok, I just needed to tell you this incase I didn’t get the chance. I love you with my whole heart Sophie. You’re the most important thing in my life and I’m so glad I didn’t die before I met you.

Are you quoting a Bright Eyes song to me right now? Sophie let out a raspy laugh.

Damnit Soph, I’m trying to be serious here. I didn’t know you know that song.

Ryan, I hear you sing it to yourself literally every morning when you’re getting dressed.

Oh. 

Ryan?

Yeah? Ryan’s voice comes out strained but she’s holding on. 

I love you too. And you’re not dying today. Hang tight shorty. I’m on my way. 

Who is the cuddler?

Ryan is more cuddly for sure. Ryan always wants cuddles even when Sophie isn’t in the mood. Ryan likes to act big and tough and she totally is but she’s also a huge softie. When Sophie is grumpy and they’re lying in bed together, Ryan rolls over and big spoons Sophie. When they’re on the couch watching movies, Ryan always wants the cuddles. She hasn’t felt very safe for most of her life and Sophie makes her feel safe. When she’s cuddled up with Sophie she feels like she’s in a cocoon where nothing and no one can harm her. Sophie has picked up on this being the reason Ryan cuddles so much and so she lets her do it whenever she wants even though Sophie isn’t the biggest cuddler. 

Who wakes up first?

Sophie does. And she makes breakfast, has her coffee. Reads through her twitter news feed, takes a shower, brushes her teeth, does her hair, and gets dressed and is ready to go before Ryan gets out of bed. Ryan always marvels at how Sophie is always so prompt and ready. Sophie says it’s because of her military background. Ryan thinks it’s because Sophie has had trouble sleeping ever since Kate died (and then came back to life as something that is not Kate). Ryan knows Sophie doesn’t have feelings for Kate anymore and she’s not jealous. But she knows how traumatizing it was for Sophie and she’s had trouble sleeping ever since. Ryan hopes that some day she can wake up before Sophie because it will mean she has slept through the night comfortably, uninterrupted and unbothered by her worries. 

Who falls asleep first?

Ryan usually does. Being Batwoman is tiring. They don’t tell you that when you sign up for this gig. Ryan usually knocks out on the couch while Sophie is making dinner or taking off her work clothes and slipping into something more comfortable. Sophie will come out of her room and see  Ryan curled up on the couch asleep. Sometimes she puts a blanket over her and then sits near her and runs her hands through Ryan’s hair or rubs her back. Or they will be watching TV or a movie and Ryan will fall asleep on Sophie’s shoulder. Sophie always finds these moment tender because it reminds her of when Batwoman, before she knew it was Ryan, rested her head on Sophie when she thought she was dying. Sophie likes listening to the sound of Ryan’s soft breathing, in and out in and out. It puts her at ease. And she often sneaks a kiss onto Ryan’s forehead. At night when they crawl into bed, Sophie will be telling Ryan about some new case and Ryan after a while will stop responding and Sophie will see that she’s fallen asleep. Sophie always finishes her story anyway and then she reads a book until she grows tired too and shuts off the light.

Who is more Romantic? 

Ryan is. I told you she’s a big softie. She loves spoiling Sophie. She kisses her all the time, she’s always reaching for Sophie’s hand and interlocking their fingers. She makes playlists for Sophie, she goes all out on Sophie’s bday or just because. And she likes planning dinner dates for the two of them. Ryan has been out longer than Sophie and she is more used to the PDA and the dating and spoiling a girl thing. Sophie is still learning what it looks like to be romantic with another woman. Besides the sex and kissing which she is very good at. Sophie does go all out for Vday, Ryan’s bday, and Christmas though. 

Who has more of a temper?

They both are hot heads and fly off the handle but it makes for great angry sex and make up sex. 

What do they argue about the most?

The others’ safety. 

Who is more jealous?

Neither of them are really the jealous type. They know they each only have eyes for each other. Before they started dating, they both were a little jealous of Mary. But it turns out Mary didn’t like either of them in that way and they were both didn’t like Mary in that way, they were just projecting. The conversation went something like this: I thought you liked Mary? What I thought you liked Mary? No. I like you. I like you too. Some girls at the bar do try and flirt with Ryan and if Sophie is there she just laughs. She finds it more amusing than anything. Because Ryan gets all cute and flustered. Ryan finds it funny when they’re out and guys try and hit on either one of them- assuming that the two are just gal pals. They shoot the guys down and then they laugh and say to each other, “why are we so hot?”

What do they do for fun/in their downtime?

Ryan and Sophie are both huge tomboys and so it makes for a fun relationship. They play fight a lot! Mary walks in on some of their playfights and thinks they are fighting for real and tries to break it up. Then when she realizes they are play fighting she gets grossed out and says, ew is this foreplay?? They go mini golfing, bowling, go to the shooting range because Ryan wants to learn how to shoot like Sophie. They go to arcades, and they go to amusement parks and movies. When they’re at home they like to watch streaming services, watch sports, read, watch movies, take naps, and order take out. They like trying new places and ordering food for each other from the new places- and if they order food the other likes then they get a point, if they order food the other person doesn't like then they don’t get a point. Whoever gets 10 points doesn’t have to pay on their next date. 

Favorite thing about each other:

Sophie likes Ryan’s lips, Ryan likes Sophie’s eyes. Ryan likes that Sophie is not scared of standing up for herself or what she thinks is right. She likes her bravery and courage. She likes how bad ass Sophie is but also how she is so kind and sweet. She likes Sophie’s raspy voice. She won’t admit it but she likes how Sophie proved Ryan wrong. She likes that she kept her secret as Batwoman and how she isn’t like the Crows in the way she thought Sophie was. Sophie likes Ryan’s cute smile and puppy dog eyes. She likes Ryan’s unwavering confidence and strength. She likes that Ryan doesn’t back down and that she protects the people that she loves with her whole heart. She likes that Ryan isn’t afraid of anyone and will challenge and step up to anyone. They both love how the other loves them. They both love how safe, and protected the other one makes them feel. 

[thehermitcraftqueen]

Angst, Tango x Vampire!Etho - Vampiric Glitches

There's been a glitch in the server. Not even Xisuma knows what it is, until a night attack reveals a vampire in their midst. Tango takes the job of confronting said vampire, even if the vampire turns out to be his love.

------------------------

I'm sorry not sorry for this one. It's mostly angst and kind of creepy, but there's some fluff at the end. Another Hermitcraft AU and mostly self indulgent, but I had a lot of fun writing it.

Obviously a warning for vampire stuff, it doesn't get too crazy but it's there.

For those of you ready for more fluff, I've got some cute requests coming, so just hold tight ;)

“We have an issue.”

Xisuma’s gaze swept over the assembled Hermits. Tango shifted uncomfortably in his spot, wondering what was going on. The admin had randomly told them to gather at the Town Hall a little while ago. He gave no context, and his voice was as calm as ever, but Xisuma didn’t normally call meetings with no warning, and every Hermit could sense something was up.

“There’s been a glitch,” Xisuma went on. “But this time, I can’t tell what it is to fix it. It’s either minor or hiding somehow. Although I hope it’s the former, I’m thinking it’s more the latter...either way, you all need to keep an eye out for anything strange. It could be anything, including potentially harmful things, so we have to be careful until we know what it is.”

Uneasy murmurs passed through the crowd of Hermits. Tango glanced at Impulse and Etho next to him. Impulse had a mixture of curiosity and concern in his gaze, and Etho seemed a bit uneasy but calm at the same time.

"I know no one has any real idea, but what do you guys think it is?" Tango asked them.

"It could be anything if Xisuma doesn't even know..." Impulse murmured. "I have no idea."

"Hopefully it's not anything too bad, but we'll see I guess," Etho said.

"Yeah," Tango sighed.

After more fruitless discussion about what it could be, the Hermits returned to their bases. By then the sun was beginning to sink, and Tango was more than ready to curl up in bed. He put the last few blocks away from finishing a build, then slipped into the sheets, sighing as he let himself relax. Still, no one had found the glitch Xisuma had talked about, but nothing had been affected either. Everyone was beginning to think it was just a minor issue.

Beeping from Tango's communicator woke him up not long after he'd fallen asleep. Letting out a yawn, shortly followed by a growl of annoyance when the communicator wouldn't shut up, he snatched it off the table and began reading the chat to see what was going on.

Impulse: WE HAVE A PROBLEM Ren: What's up my dude? Grian: Why are we being woken up before it's even midnight, come on guys Impulse: I THINK I FOUND THE GLITCH Impulse: OR SOMETHING

That piqued Tango's curiosity, all sleepiness fading. If Impulse was as scared as he seemed, it didn't sound like the glitch was something minor either.

Tango: What is it?!? Impulse: ETHO TRIED TO BITE ME

Tango had to do a double-take, and still the sentence made zero sense.

Tango: What?! Ren: Dude what? Impulse: He jumped out of nowhere and started attacking me, then while we were fighting he tried to bite me with like vampire fangs or something?? Mumbo: :0 Impulse: OH COD HE'S STILL HERE HELP Xisuma: Meet at Impulse's base everyone.

His heart beginning to pound, Tango shot out of bed. He spread his wings and jumped into the sky, beginning to fly to Impulse's base. He was worried about both of his friends--Impulse, who seemed to be in trouble; and Etho, who for some reason was attacking Impulse. His communicator fell silent halfway there, increasing Tango's worry, and he couldn't get to Impulse's base soon enough.

Most of the Hermits had gathered in the base or were heading to it when Tango arrived. Xisuma was questioning Impulse, who looked a bit shaken, while the others looked on and listened intently. Tango landed and made his way over, straining to hear Impulse and Xisuma as he neared.

“Tell me exactly what happened,” Xisuma was saying.

“I was just sleeping, like normal, when suddenly I woke up feeling unusually cold and uneasy for seemingly no reason. I didn’t see anything right away, so I started to go back to sleep. Then something shot out of the shadows and hit me with a sword, and I realized it was Etho. We started fighting, and he pulled down his mask during it. He had fangs and started trying to bite me. I got a pretty good hit on him and he disappeared long enough for me to chat with you guys. And then obviously we were fighting again when you guys started showing up,” Impulse replied.

“Bdubs and I were working on something in Aqua Town and we got here first. We started to help Impulse fight but then Etho vanished into the shadows,” Scar said.

“I guess he didn’t like being outnumbered,” Bdubs added.

Etho was a vampire? What? Tango was struggling to process the information. He couldn't imagine Etho with fangs and a taste for blood. Besides, he'd been fine earlier. Hoping Xisuma would have answers, Tango turned his gaze to the admin, who was currently silent, looking thoughtful.

“Well...assuming Etho being a vampire is the glitch...that makes it a lot harder to fix,” Xisuma said after a moment.

“It can be done, though, right?” Tango asked.

“I’m not sure,” Xisuma admitted. “I can code the server, but I can’t code a player. Etho has to fix himself, in a sense. We might be able to help him along, but ultimately he has to fix himself. And if he can’t...” Xisuma trailed off, and Tango’s heart twisted as he realized what the admin was going to say. “If he can’t, we’ll have to kill him. We can't have a vampire to worry about all the time."

In all honesty, Tango knew Xisuma was right. But the thought hurt a lot more than he wanted to admit. He’d never told anyone, and somehow no one had found out, but Tango had a pretty significant crush on Etho. He was a lot more than a friend by this point, and Tango didn’t know if he could deal with losing him.

“We need to talk to him, then,” Scar said. “Maybe we could talk some sense into him.”

“He’s not going to come out if it’s a big group, though,” Impulse pointed out.

“Maybe someone needs to go alone to somewhere Etho would be able to easily find them, while the rest of us stay here on stand by if they need help,” Bdubs said.

“I’ll go.” Tango didn’t even realize what he was saying at first. His heart spoke before his mind, needing to know that Etho was okay. But he didn’t correct himself once it was out. It could be fun, right? Exciting? Maybe?

"I don't like the idea of someone going alone in such a dangerous situation, but I guess we don't have a choice," Xisuma sighed. He glanced at Tango, the seriousness in his eyes making the demon hybrid shiver. "Are you sure you're okay with doing this, Tango?"

"Yeah. If I can build decked out and survive the ravagers, I can deal with Etho," Tango assured, with much more confidence than he felt.

"Oh, I don't doubt you'll survive him," Xisuma replied. "What I'm worried about is what will happen if you can't convince him. If he doesn't change, whoever goes will have to kill him, and I'm honestly not sure you can do that, Tango."

Tango swallowed hard. That wasn't something he'd considered at all, nor did he think it was something he could do. But...something told him he would be even worse off if he wasn't the one to go. This was something he had to do. He could only hope that death would be an unnecessary measure.

"I can," Tango replied, just barely managing to keep his voice firm.

Xisuma gave him a long stare, then sighed. "Okay, fine. Just please, be careful."

"I will," Tango promised. "Should I go now?"

"I guess so, while there's still plenty of night left," Xisuma agreed. "If you need help, we'll be a message away. Check Etho's base first."

Tango gave one last nod to Xisuma before taking off again. As he flew, he was painfully aware of his sword resting in its sheath against his side. He desperately hoped he wouldn't have to use it against Etho. On second thought, maybe he wasn't the right person for this job. But he wasn't going to turn back now.

The base that was normally so friendly and cheerful-looking now gave Tango chills as he landed. Structures of varying looks and heights cast eerie shadows throughout Etho's base, and the fact that it was dead silent didn't help at all. Tango struggled to stay calm as he slowly made his way through the base, his gaze flicking nervously from shadow to shadow as he watched and waited for Etho.

"So they sent you to kill me, huh?"

The whisper about gave Tango a heart attack. He spun around, frantically searching for the source of the sound, but he didn't see anything.

"Funny. I was wondering what your blood tasted like~"

Tango's heart was pounding as he continued to spin in circles, unable to find Etho. "E-Etho, stop, please..." he said, hating how his voice trembled slightly. It scared him, how much Etho had changed. "This isn't you."

"No. It's better." Etho's voice was a slight snarl, putting Tango even more on edge.

"At least come out!" Tango said desperately. He was terrified, drenched in sweat. This was by far the most exciting night he'd had in a long time, but he hated it with every rapid breath he took.

Something dropped down behind Tango. He whipped around, his heart skipping a beat as he met Etho's mismatched eyes, practically glowing with the menace they held. The temperature seemed to drop significantly, while Tango's heart rate spiked. He gulped, trembling with either cold or fear, he didn't know.

"Etho..." Tango whispered, not knowing what else to say. The now-vampire's stare didn't waver, but Tango noticed his hand slipping to his sword. "Please, Etho. Listen to me. Come back to me. I don't want to have to fight you," he begged.

Etho drew his sword. "Too bad," he said coldly as he raised the blade.

Instinctively, Tango pulled his sword out to block it. The weapons clashed, the sound breaking the quiet. Etho pulled his back to attack again, but Tango blocked. The cycle continued, neither of them giving nor taking hits. Soon, Tango's moves began to slow as he grew tired. He couldn't take this much longer.

"Etho, just stop. You're stronger than this. You can fight it," Tango said, praying Etho would listen.

"Why should I? I'm fine like this. No one can convince me otherwise," Etho hissed.

"I will!" Tango growled. "I'm not losing you, Etho!"

Fueled by his new determination, Tango began to overpower Etho. After a few more blocks and attempted hits, Tango tried a disarming move. Etho's sword flew out of his hand, leaving him defenseless.

"Now you have to listen to me," Tango said.

"I won't," Etho growled. He spread his arms, leaving his chest and ultimately his heart vulnerable. "Just finish the job, Tango. You can't change me back, and I know Xisuma gave you one other option if I didn't listen. Now do it."

"I..." Tango glanced at his sword, then at Etho. Tears pricked at his eyes and a sob escaped his throat. "I can't. I can't kill you, Etho. It would destroy me."

"Guess you're mine then." In a flash, Etho had pulled his mask down and lunged. Pain stabbed through Tango's neck as Etho's fangs sank in, and he let out a choked cry. He pulled away from Etho and pressed a hand against the wound. Etho stared at him, licking his bloody lips and fangs. Tango's stomach twisted at the sight, and his mind drifted to his communicator. Should he call for help? He was definitely in need of it. But if the others saw this, Tango had a feeling Etho wouldn't last long. Something told him there was still hope for Etho, he just had to keep trying.

"What's on your mind?"

Etho's voice, twisted into a demonic whisper, jolted Tango back to reality. He had an idea. Love confessions worked for this sort of thing in the movies, right? It was by no means sensible, but Tango was getting very desperate.

"You," Tango admitted. "I like you, Etho. A lot. And it hurts me to see you like this. I want to help you, but you need to cooperate with me."

"That's sweet. But I already told you, there's nothing to be helped. This is fine," Etho said.

"Is it?" Tango asked softly. "Are you truly okay with what you've become?"

"I-" To Tango's surprise, Etho faltered. "No. I'm not. But it's too strong for me..."

Tango's heart clenched, but he continued with new confidence. "Etho, I may not know how strong whatever this thing is, but I know for a fact you're stronger. You can beat it. I know you can."

Etho dropped to his knees, his fingers curling into fists. He whimpered softly, trembling. "It's...too strong..."

Tango sat in front of Etho and hesitantly placed a hand on his cheek, causing him to look up. "You can do it, Etho. Don't let it win."

Etho's eyes flickered and he closed them, releasing a low hiss. Tango watched anxiously as Etho battled unseen demons, mentally cheering him on. He slipped a hand into one of Etho's, and Etho's grip tightened as if it were for dear life.

Seconds turned to minutes as Etho continued to fight the glitch, urged on by Tango's words of encouragement now and then. Tango lost track of time, completely focused on Etho. It was painful watching Etho suffer, but all he could do was offer support.

Finally, Etho began to relax. His fangs began to disappear, and when his eyes fluttered open Tango noticed the normal sparkle was returning to them.

"I think...I did it..." Etho gasped.

"I think you did too!" Tango grinned. "I knew you could!"

Etho cast Tango a tired smile. "Thank you. I couldn't have done it without you, Tango."

Holding back tears, Tango wrapped his arms around Etho and pulled him close for a hug. Etho snuggled into Tango's arms in response. "I love you, Etho," Tango whispered.

"I love you too, Tango," Etho replied.

Both gazed into each other's eyes for a long moment. Then, both leaned in to meet the other's lips, letting their worries fade away as they kissed passionately.

-------

"It's been over an hour." Impulse turned to Xisuma, biting his lip anxiously. "You'd think if everything was fine they'd be back by now. I think we should look for them."

"I'm not sure. These things can sometimes take a while. I don't want to disturb the process," Xisuma responded.

"I'll be careful, I promise," Impulse said.

Xisuma sighed. "Okay. But try not to be seen, and don't engage unless it's absolutely necessary."

"Understood." With that, Impulse was off.

He flew over to Etho's base and landed on one of the upper areas. It was oddly quiet, and Impulse began to get worried until he looked down. Tango and Etho were curled up together, both sleeping soundly. Impulse smiled, reassured, and happy to see them both sleeping well.

As he made his way back to Xisuma, though, Impulse made a mental note to tease them about it later, like the amazing friend he was.

[lechairpourriedegrianri]

Untitled Shulker Box Fic!

I said that I’d tag you in this so @redwinterrises

Words: 1728

Description: Seven scenes of Grian contemplating his partnership with Scar

Warnings: Descriptions of blood, injuries, and violence

Though Grian hoped his partnership with Scar would end well, deep down he knew that things could only turn out badly. Case in point, the tree issue. “If we made an iron farm, do you think we could get enough iron shovels to dig up the desert,” Scar deliberated, deep in whatever constituted thought for him as they moved towards the desert.

“I keep telling you, trying to dig up the desert is a waste of time. If we get the dark oak forest then we’ll have a monopoly. How are we even going to make an iron farm? There’s like three villagers and Impulse has them all.”

“We're smart guys! We can think of some-OH! There’s a bee over there.” Scar bounded off on a detour and Grian gritted his teeth. Scar was great, but when he was taking such a lackadaisical approach to things. having to follow his orders was unbearable. He couldn’t wait to die the first time so he could get away. Scar ran back up, “Had to kill the bee; so you think we could just steal everyone’s iron and diamonds and stuff to make shovels?”

Feeling something in him tense, Grian turned to Scar and did his best to feign calmness and control, “Scar, where on the server can you find sand?”

“The desert, obviously, the bottom of lakes and the river, and the beaches too I guess.”

“And where can you find dark oak?”

“Just the one forest but-” he trailed off when he saw the piercing stare Grian was giving him, “Okay. Forest it is.”

——

Grian stood on the edge of the sand dune, sun beating down on him as he watched Scar and Etho haggle over shoes. “Those are awfully nice shoes, Etho. Surely they’re worth some good reputation.”

Grian sighed, sick of watching Scar scam people for worthless garbage, “Don’t take him up, Etho. He’s cheating you.”

“No I’m not. You’ll get fifty whole reputation points, Etho.”

“What even are reputation points?”

“I’ll take it,” Etho kicked his shoes off and took the scrap of paper from Scar, making Grian groan in frustration.

After happily waving Etho off, Scar turned to Grian. The way the sun glinted off his scar from the creeper explosion still made it look like it was fresh and bleeding red. “Don’t interrupt my dealings,” he muttered, the shadows turning his skin a twisted grey. Grian nodded, having no intentions of doing what he was told.

——

“How do you make a tnt trap?” Back home the question would have been completely innocuous, but here, with his torn pants exposing the deep gashes on his legs from the fall, highlighted on his dead-looking skin, Scar’s words gave Grian cause for concern.

“Where are you going to use it?”

His eyes glowing with malice, Scar clenched his fist, “Dogwarts is going to pay. I’ll use the enchanter as bait and wipe them out in one quick blast.”

Immediately, images of Scar blowing himself to pieces rolled through Grian’s head. As nice as that would have been earlier, now….it was too dangerous. He had no idea which one of the others he could trust, and which could trust him. Love him or hate him, at least Scar was loyal to him. As much as he didn’t want to, Grian placed down a chest, “Give me the tnt you got.”

“Um, sure.” Scar tentatively dumped the tnt in the chest, as well as a spattering of minecart, observers, and pistons. “Are you building the trap or are you just taking this away from me?”

“I’ll….I’ll build it,” Grian shook his head, “It’s preferable to having you build it.”

“Good,” Scar placed a hand on Grian’s shoulder. It was rough, less a friendly gesture and more holding his lackey in place. “I’m glad you’re finally listening to me for once.”

——

Smoke billowed from the gates of Dogwarts, and Grian laughed. Jimmy had been stupid enough to nudge the tnt while the were disarming Grian’s trap, and and he, Skizz, and Ren himself had been turned into an ashy crater. Just the thought of it made Grian turn from giggled to unrestrained, ridiculous laughter. Scar and Ren grappled on the edge of the hill, and with a sickly crack Scar slugged Ren in the face, sending him toppling over the edge and letting him hit the ground with a thud.

Blood trickling from his forehead and a nasty scrape across his arm, Ren bellowed furiously, “You’ll pay for this, desert fiend!” before limping back to Dogwarts. Scar scampered away as well, likely to recoup in the desert. Feeling giddy, Grian turned to follow him, but Martyn grabbed him by the wrist.

“Grian, wait. I need to ask you something.”

“What is it?” Grian glanced back at Martyn, who was a mix of worried and hopeful.

“Big B and I were talking and…as the Blue Sword Boys we think we should try to rescue you from Scar. We’re going to ask Skizz to kill you so that you can get out of your deal without suspicion.”

Something in Grian churned, and a frown curled over his face, “What makes you think I want out of my deal?”

Martyn tightened his grip, “What are you talking about?”

“Right now Scar trusts me completely, and I’d rather have the most powerful wild card on the server in my palm than at my throat. So,” he broke free of Martyn’s grasp and drew his sword, “That’s,” he slashed his sword across his opponent’s knuckles, leaving a thin trail of blood, “A no.” A boot to the stomach sent Martyn tumbling backwards, and Grian ran.

——

Grian and Scar sat on a hill at a safe distance from the Crastle, deep in thought as they watched Bdubs and Cleo move about inside of their stronghold. “There has to be a way to get to them,” Scar pondered aloud, “A full attack isn’t an option, and I’d doubt they’d fall for the tnt trap again.”

“What if we trap their bubble elevator,” Grian proposed, trying to avoid eye contact with his partner.

“They don’t have a bubble elevator.”

“Then we build them a bubble elevator, act like it’s a big gift from us, and trap it to kill them when they actually use it.”

“That’s…actually pretty smart,” surprised, Scar glanced at Grian, who was looking at the tower with a calm intensity. “Let me grab the materials for it and-“

“No.”

“Excuse me?”

“No, I’m building this. You keep them busy while I get the job done.”

“You actually want to help me kill them?”

“Of course,” Grian flashed him a teethy, soulless smile.

——

Screams of pain and anger wafted in through the window of the bunker and blood stained the desert sands red. Grian sat huddled against the wall of their bunker, hand hovering over the lever to the kill switch. Almost the entire server was out there, playing capture the flag on the largest death trap the server had ever seen. A body thudded against the bunker’s iron door, and blood trickled through the crack beneath it. Blood………

Blind to Scott’s tearful screams of “Jimmy!” Grian pulled the lever.

The sound burst one of his eardrums almost immediately, and the blast caved in the wall he was leaning against, sending him flying across the room and slamming into the opposite wall, fracturing his skull and shattering the bones in his left arm. Ignoring the mind-breaking pain, Grian rolled over onto his back, listening to the sounds of panic as the final small explosions fired.

“Grian.” Ren shouted as he stumbled in through the collapsed wall. His right arm seemed to have been torn open, and his mane of hair was matted with blood and sand. An ugly crack ran through his crown. “You did this. You have to pay.”

“And he will.” Before Ren could comprehend, Martyn leapt into the bunker, driving his sword between Grian’s ribs and twisting it to double the pain. Grian’s vision blurred, taking on a yellow tint as it faded.

——

“Where are you, Scar?” Grian called softly as he stalked through the charred ruins of Dogwarts. He carried the sword of the Red King and was coated in the blood of the King’s Hand. He stopped in front of where the Renchanting building once stood and eyed it whimsically, “We did it, Scar. We made it to the end. Final two, bud.”

“I’d count that as a win-win.” Scar’s voice was weary, and Grian caught sight of him entering through the main entrance, one of the few remaining pieces of wall. An explosion had clearly taken a chunk out of his leg, and deep gashes painted his skin. Barely able to walk, he slid to the ground, leaning against an undetonated pile of tnt. “Is this the end?” He said something else that Grian couldn’t hear as he crossed the way and sat down next to his partner.

“I guess it is. We….we killed them all.”

Something in Scar chilled at the way he said it. With a trembling turn to look at Grian, he quietly asked, “So who wins?”

Grian stood up slowly, blood rushing through his head so loudly he couldn’t hear anything Scar said or what was happening around him. He held Ren’s sword carefully in his hands, admiring the etchings on them. In a slow, contemplative movement, he took the hilt and gripped it tightly. Whirling around in a single heartless move, he ran the Red King’s sword through Scar’s neck, killing him. “Me.”

Blinded by fierce, undeniable red, Grian scanned Scar’s battered corpse as it crumbled to dust. He noticed that Scar had been holding something behind his back as he died, something that he hadn’t wanted Grian to see.

As the rushing in his head faded, Grian’s hearing returned and he froze at the quiet, but all too familiar hissing he heard. Scar had had a flint and steel in his hand. He had figured out what was going to happen and set one last fire, a fatal insurance policy.

Grian laughed as the tnt detonated, obliterating him and finishing off the last life on the server. At one point, Grian had hoped that his partnership with Scar would end well, but he had known deep down that it could only end badly for them.

[getgoodlol]

An Unwelcome Meeting

part 3 of my Bdubs' Betrayal fanfic!

heyo! disclaimer before u read; i never claimed to be good at writing. this is purely for fun! i am aware that the hermits are all great people and they're all good friends. i am just playing on the roleplay and the characters they play within the storyline.

please do not tag this as ship. thank you and enjoy!

Grian rocked back and fourth on his feet, his hand in an L shape resting on his chin. His eyes were narrowed, staring at one of the chests in the Barge. He was pondering a price change on dirt; it wasn't selling particularly well. However, there were a few diamonds in the chest, so he took them out and eagerly went to his profit box to deposit his earnings.

Upon opening it, he noticed a thin leather book placed gingerly inside. He recognized it immediately- it had once graced his hands, after all. He dropped the diamonds carelessly, now focused on the presumed response from Bdubs. Grian gripped the book with two hands, excitement pulsing through him. A risky offer was always a rush.

He closed the shulker with his gaze still glued to the book. Swiftly, he opened it and flipped past his note. A few pages in, he noticed more writing that looked shaky and wobbly.

Grian scoffed with a smirk. He tried real hard to make it secret, didn't he?

He read each line with an eyebrow raised. Seemed as though Bdubs had turned him down. He was in denial, of course- nobody would want to be a mayor's doormat.

Then his eyes grazed the final scentence. The word accept looked like it was written slowly, the ink was heavier and it was smudged a little bit.

The pure excitement that beamed on Grian's face was priceless. Luckily there were no shoppers to be blinded at the time.

Quickly, he whispered a message in chat to Bdubs. Perhaps he could've sent everything like this from the start. That wouldn't have been as dramatic, though.

Hey Bdubs. Got your message. Meet me at Stress' potion shop.

Almost immediately, he got a response.

Alright, G. Scar's not around, is he?

Grian sighed. So what if he is? You won't get caught. And no, he's not even online.

A few minutes later, Bdubs popped into view, his elytra making a shadow across the shopping district. He folded his wings and landed not-so-gracefully in front of Grian with a nervous grin on his face.

Grian let the previous goofy excitement die down within him. Despite it all, this was still serious, at least for Bdubs. He expected the Mycelium Resistance to be light hearted, but he had to admit, Scar was taking advantage of his power quite ruthlessly. Although G's attitude was normally jokey, he felt maybe he should tone it down for now. A little bit.

Bdubs opened his mouth to speak- man, when did he ever stop rambling? Grian shushed him before he could say anything. The base had to be kept a secret away from all the other Hermits.

Swiftly, Grian showed him the way in through the shulker box.

"Ohhhhhh," Bdubs murmured, earning a glare.

Once they were inside, Grian led the newcomer to the table and had him sit down. "How does it feel?"

"Different," Bdubs sat awkwardly, clearly feeling out of place.

"Different as in: you're not literally sat on the floor."

"I guess you could say that."

He wasn't talking as much now. Had Grian been too harsh?

"I'm gonna call the other guys, okay? I haven't told them I recruited you."

Visible fear washed over the taller man's face. "I'm the mayor's second in command. There's no way they trust me."

"And I'm Mother Spore, founder of the resistance. What difference does it make? If you really care about the environment, you'll make them trust you. Plus, they trust me. And I recruited you."

"...M'kay. You'll introduce me?"

Grian nodded. He was afraid he was going to fast, but he needed to act quickly. He knew this really wasn't about the environment to Bdubs, of course it wasn't!

It really wasn't to him, either. It was about the principal.

Grian pressed the button with a firm press, eyes staying on Bdubs. His gaze was aligned with the table in front of him

"Y'know, G, you did a really great job with this table, the whole place is really cool! You say you're not great at interiors, b-"

Though Grian would have loved to sit and gloat about his builds, Bdubs' scentence was cut short by six ender-porters being activated, and six servermates finding their way into their respective chairs, looking frazzled.

"Grian?? Did you call this meeting?" Impulse asked, fixing his hair. He looked like he had been working on something.

Most of them did; Beef was covered in paint. Or blood. Could have been blood, knowing VintageBeef, but Grian assumed he was working on another album cover.

Stress' hair was full of nether-y bits, twigs, even flowers that were seperate from her regular head piece. She must've been working on her base.

Jevin was holding endstone, which was a surprise to no one.

Ren was quickly putting on his lab coat, brushing off ash from his shoulders.

Etho looked unfazed, but curious, his eyes locked on the new member.

Bdubs, on the other hand, sat quietly, eyes wide. He didn't really know where to rest his gaze, his pupils darting back and fourth. His neatly folded hands came undone, his fingers tapping on his palms.

"Yes," Grian answered simply, "Don't worry, everyone, everything is fine."

Before Grian could explain further, Etho pointed at Bdubs. "Uh, Grian? You sure everything is fine?"

Impulse gasped. "An infiltrator? We have to get out of here!"

Anxious chatter broke out amongst the crowd, everyone starting to get up from their seats. Bdubs looked over at Grian with a bewildered face.

"Everyone! Sit down! He's supposed to be here."

Everyone obeyed him. He held back a smile; it was nice to be in charge.

"So you've captured him, then?" Jevin asked, folding his arms.

"He doesn't look very captured..." Stress pointed out.

"No, I've recruited him."

Silence blanketed the table.

After a moment, Grian continued. "Bdubs has had a change of heart. He's on our side now."

Everyone exchanged looks.

"... He's literally Scar's second hand." Impulse gestured towards the silent man at the foot of the table.

"His lackey," Said Beef, leaning on the table.

"Hey! Am not!" Bdubs exclaimed defensively.

"Bdubs," Grian silenced him. He paused for a moment, looking around at his resistance. "Welcome, Bdubs, to the Mycelium Resistance. We have many things in store for you."

"So, what, you're just gonna tell Scar that you're with us now? He's gonna like... blow up the shopping district!" Ren straightened his goggles, as if he hadn't put them on correctly.

"I was planning on it, tonight, actually. He's expecting a note from me, about the shops or whatever, and instead, I was gonna just leave him a goodbye note."

Grian shook his head. "No, no, you're not doing that. You're now named the Head of Secret Angency."

"You really couldn't come up with a better name?" Etho muttered.

"Hey, mine is 'Head of Farming'. You take what you can get." Jevin laughed.

"Enough about the names. Bdubs, you're a secret agent now. You will be sticking by Scar's side, and reporting everything he does back to us." Grian explained.

Bdubs looked as if he had been put under a hydraulic press. Was he up for the job? Sure, Grian could manage the resistance on his own, but ... something about morals? Taking Bdubs away from the capitalist power? Something like that.

"I dunno about this, G, what if he just... double-agents us? Feeds us false information and tells Scar our plans..." Impulse suggested wearily.

Bdubs took a deep breath, then a long exhale escaped his nose. "Look, fellas, I get it if you can't trust me. I'm Scar's... 'lackey'! I wouldn't trust me either... but you'd wanna join the other side, too, if you were under Scar's command all the time."

He got stares from everyone around the table. Grian almost laughed. He knew it.

As soon as Bdubs realized what he had said, he added swiftly, "He's just so prominent about putting all the grass down! H-he really doesn't realize that the mycelium is the natural land..."

"I think I trust him." Stress offered, making Bdubs smile.

The rest of the table stayed silent.

"You're dismissed." Grian said after a moment of quiet. "Bdubs, go to Scar tonight. Find out anything you can about his plans, and report back at the next meeting tomorrow."

Bdubs nodded.

As everyone started to leave, Grian could see Bdubs gingerly grab Impulse's shoulder.

"Impulse? Can I talk to you after we get out of here?"

[twelves-writings]

Sleep

Songfic based off “Sleep” by My Chemical Romance

(tw: suffocation, passing out)

They’re, they’re these terrors

And it feels as if someone was gripping my-

They’re, they’re not like tremors; they’re worse than tremors

They’re these ter-

Doc combed through the footage. There had to have been something there, anything. There was a reason for everything, across every world. Cause and effect. He knew correlation didn’t imply causation, but… there had to be something. He couldn’t've just… 

Doc sighed. He rewinded the video again, staring at the screen as he had for the past… How long has it been? Doc didn’t care. He scoured the footage, analyzing every pixel until his biological eye went numb. He didn’t care at what cost it came to him. There had be a sign, a message, a hint at what was to come. 

A voice nagged at the back of his head, telling him he need to rest. Don’t overwork yourself. Take a break. Go get something to eat. He would’ve wanted you to rest. 

Doc shook his head, erasing the thoughts from his head. There was no telling what he would have wanted. He was gone, and Doc was determined to get him back.

-~-

Another block of blackstone here, slab, block, redstone block… Wait, no; the redstone block goes over there. Or maybe… Beef rubbed his eyes, yawning as he picked up the offending block. It was getting late, the moon was nearly peaked, but he had to keep building. He just wanted to finish one more building in Three Fox Hole, then he would rest. Ah, that’s where the redstone block goes! And then the glass, and the other color of glass, and the other other color… 

Block after block was placed. Not much thought went into the details, but he’d do those later. He was always better at detailing the buildings in the morning. “Oh wait, Keralis is coming over tomorrow. Oh well; I guess I’ll finish them in the afternoon.” 

Beef was always glad to see his friends. He was hesitant about reaching out, about coming back, but Etho convinced him in the end. It was strange, Etho reassuring him when he refused to return to the server himself. Oh, Beef missed him. That was Etho’s choice, though, and Beef couldn’t and wouldn’t force anything upon him. With or without his old buddy, Beef was glad to be back on Hermitcraft. Especially after…

Beef kept building. Blackstone block, block, stair, polished block, glass, polished slab. The city was coming along nicely. Planning out the roads and buildings, filling them all in, and detailing them was all quite relaxing. It was the perfect way to start a new season. Beef stepped back from the building after placing the final slab. He was proud of himself. 

He wouldn’t be proud. 

“Yes he would,” he responded to his thoughts aloud. “Of course he would. I’m creating and detailing buildings. He loved that. He’d be proud.” 

They’re facades, fronts, empty shells. 

“I’ll fill them in eventually.” 

Fill yourself in first. 

Beef squeezed his eyes shut with a sigh. Knowing he wouldn’t win to his thoughts tonight, he kept building. 

Rest. 

There were always other buildings to work on. 

Rest. 

Details needed to be added. 

Rest. 

Mobs that could bring this city to life. 

Rest.

Beef began work on yet another building. He could’ve sworn he heard whispers from behind him, but wrote it off as phantoms, or his insomnia getting to him. “Alright.” He walked away from the build, having run out of blackstone. “I need to get some more- Oomph!” He had run into a street lamp as he turned around. As he looked up, he realized it wasn’t a light on the street, nor a creature of the night come to attack him.

“No, no, no.” Eyes wide as the moon, he stumbled away from the figure. “I- I can’t deal with this again! You’re not real! You can’t be! I- I can’t do this again.” He backed into a wall, sliding onto the ground. Tears welled in Beef’s eyes as he gazed upon the figure. 

Green wrapped around its entire frame, weaving around its torso and limbs. Its face was mostly free of the vines, bar its straggly hair. Its eyes were darker than the void, oozing jet black tears. Beef’s eyes were locked with the figure’s, fear flooding every ounce of his being. When he was finally able to pull away from the unmoving, unblinking voids, his gaze landed on the being’s shirt. His breathing and pulse accelerated as he read the letters: NHO. He timidly brought his eyes back back up. “B- Bdu-”

Don’t you breathe for me

Undeserving of your sympathy

The air was pulled out of Beef’s lungs, leaving him gasping. He clawed at his throat, eyes somehow widening more. He choked, breathing without air to breathe. How is he- Why is he- Beef couldn’t think straight. How could he, unable to breathe because the ghost of his friend yanked the air out of his lungs? 

‘Cause there ain’t no way that I’m sorry for what I did

Tears were spilling from Beef’s eyes; out of fear or sadness, he didn’t know.

And through it all, how could you cry for me?

‘Cause I don’t feel bad about it

Beef wanted to scream. He wanted to tell the phantom all his thoughts. He wanted to tell him how he still cared, how he remembered him, how he’d never let go of him or the memories they shared.

So shut your eyes

No, no! Beef felt the unconsciousness pulling at his eyelids, dragging him down. Beef didn’t want to let go! He couldn’t let go! He could never let go! 

And sleep

Just sleep

The voice reverberated through his brain, overwhelming any thoughts Beef had. It surrounded and enveloped him, echoing through the emptiness inside. He was hollow. He had been, ever since that day. The tears stopped flowing as darkness crept towards him. Eyes flickering, Beef relaxed. The voice echoed one final cry, more to itself than anything else.

The hardest part

Is letting go of your dreams

He’d just rest a bit. Just for a minute. Just for… 

-~-

They’re, they’re these terrors

And it feels as if someone was gripping my throat, and squeezing

They’re, they’re not like tremors; they’re worse than tremors

They’re these terrors

Rewinding the footage again, Doc sighs. He’s getting nowhere with this, but he has to keep going. He would have wanted him to keep going, keep searching for an explanation. He goes over the clip again, subconsciously mouthing the words. He’s heard this so many times, seen this so many times, too many times… He jolts up with a start, his eyes sleepy but wide. He has to stay awake. He has to know what happened. Just a few more minutes.

His stomach growls, like a hoglin that hasn’t been fed in days. When was the last time he ate? That didn’t matter. All that mattered to Doc is answers. Rest and food are for the weak anyways. When was the last time anyone had seen a creeper eat?

Vwoosh

It was a near silent noise, but Doc caught it. He whipped around, sword in hand, ready to face the enderman who dared to interrupt his work. But he didn’t see an enderman. Far from it; he saw a figure leaning again a cluttered table in the corner of the room. A wine glass was held in its hand, and for a moment Doc suspected it to be Joe, bringing him a glass from the winery next door. However, the glass was empty. 

A drink

For the horror that I’m in

Doc took a moment to look the creature over. Its skin was like his own, rough and plant-like. Was that actually its skin, or a thick layer of foliage covering it? Its eyes and head were hidden in the shadows, except for its half-open mouth lined with teeth sharp as blades. What the heck is this thing?

For the good guys and the bad guys

For the monsters that I’ve been

Three cheers for tyranny

It hoisted up its glass, acting as if a toast were to be given. Instead, it tossed the glass in the air. Doc was frozen in place out of fear or exhaustion; it was difficult to tell which. He only moved to flinch when the glass shattered on the ground. It sounded as if a million glasses had broken, not just the one. The figure did not react.

‘Cause there ain’t no way that I’m coming back again

The words burned themselves in Doc’s mind. He knew instantly what- who the creature was. Or rather, what the creature used to be. He shook it off, dismissed it as his mind playing tricks on him. It liked to do that on late nights like these. Before he could turn around to get back to his work, the figure grabbed him by the shoulder. The two were face to face now, mere inches apart. Its dark, empty eyes stared straight into Doc’s soul. The teeth were far more menacing now, softly clinking with every word spoken. Doc didn’t want to admit it, to himself or the beast, but he was terrified. The voice cried:

And through it all, how could you cry for me?

‘Cause I don’t feel bad about it

It took its hands off Doc’s shoulders, pushing him back against the desk.

So shut your eyes

Kiss me goodbye

And sleep

Just sleep

Doc whipped back around, forcing his eyes back upon his work. One of the monitors was cracked, but he didn’t care. He cared about nothing but the tapes. He blinked hard, pushing back any tears that threatened to spill. He ignored the creature’s- the ghost’s cries behind him. 

The hardest part’s

The awful things that I’ve seen

He ignored it all, pinning his eyes to the screens. He was so close; he could feel it. Just another couple of minutes and he’d have it. He’d know why Bdubs died. 

Sometimes, I see flames

And sometimes I see people that I love dying

It’s always-

Just sleep

The creature whispered. He ignored it.

Just sleep

It called to him, like a siren out at sea. He ignored it.

JUST SLEEP!

It screamed. Doc whipped around to see the figure levitating off the ground. Wind from nowhere spun around it, papers and small objects being pulled into the gusts. The being’s eyes shone black, somehow emitting light while being dark as black holes. 

Doc couldn’t take his eyes off the figure, and couldn’t deny its appearance any longer: it looked like- no, it was Bdubs. Doc saw the bandana, ripped and stained a blood-like green, flapping in the wind. Its hair was swooped in the front, blown up off its face. The logo on its shirt was unmistakable, even through the vines that spread across its chest. It screamed again and again for Doc to sleep. 

Eventually, its voice went hoarse. As the cries faded into echos, the wind slowed. Doc was swaying on his feet as it stopped, collapsing onto the ground. His eyes flickered, but no! He had to hold out. He had to stay awake. 

The figure- Bdubs’ feet gracefully touched the ground. Bdubs made his way over to the nearly unconscious Doc. Doc wanted to reach out to him, say something, anything. But he couldn’t. He… he needed to rest. He needed some sleep. 

The tapes were playing quietly as Doc drifted off. 

And I can’t… I cant ever wake up.