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artificialqueens · 6 years

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Four Times Brianna Hated Tutoring, And The One Time She Didn’t So Much (Crameron) - Millie

A/N: this is a little birthday present for Elsa so I really hope you like it!!! Summary: Brianna and Kameron are both excellent mathematicians, although they’ve never interacted properly over the almost two years that they’ve been in the same class. When Brianna is punished by their teacher for slacking, Kameron is forced to participate.

Brianna wasn’t stupid. In fact, she was far from it, hoping to make valedictorian in senior year (she was only a sophomore, but a girl could dream), and at the top of all her classes. She couldn’t pick a favourite if you asked her, even if you begged, but some subjects she liked more than others would be Languages, Drama, and Math. Math was easiest, though, so she couldn’t understand other students’ hardship when it came to the class.

Brianna wasn’t stupid. So, why did her teacher seem to think she was?

“Miss Cracker,” the woman in question scolded yet again, placing several sheets of paper, held together by a staple clinging on for dear life, face down on her desk, “how many times do I have to tell you?! Always show your working.”

Brianna huffed and turned over the papers, greeted by a sickly green 47 out of 100 at the top of the front cover. It might as well have been written in blood red; she knew the teachers marked papers in green to make everything appear reassuring. It was basic psychology. Green meant “good”. But Brianna wasn’t stupid. She knew just how bad a 47 was.

“Teacher’s being tough on you again?” Yuhua asked, seated to the blonde’s right. Peering over her forearm, she could see a beaming 82 out of 100 on her friend’s paper.

“That’s one way to put it,” Brianna replied, folding the sheets in half and stuffing them into her bag, even though she knew she wasn’t going to look at the test again until it was thrown into the recycling.

She knew she’d answered most, if not all, questions correctly, and she was often the student whom her teacher called upon to help others who were struggling a little in class. The only problem was, she didn’t write any of her working down - she did it all in her head, and by the time it’d come to her, it’d disappeared just as quickly, and she was only left with the answer. So, that’s what she wrote. And she lost out on marks for it.

Brianna leant back in her chair, letting out an angry sigh. She disliked, hated, even, this kind of humiliation, especially when her teacher just had to announce it in front of the whole class. Of course, everyone knew her intelligence was not reflected in her test scores, but it wasn’t the best feeling to know that it could impact her grade when it came to her finals. She just couldn’t wait for this class to be over.

The teacher spent most of the lesson going through questions on the paper, showing the working and how to get the correct answer. Almost every one, Brianna had answered correctly. She stared at the working on the blackboard, the white chalk harsh against it, its colour and its ridiculing pricking her eyes. She would call upon students to help answer the questions for the others, but Brianna kept quiet as a silent protest. Kameron Michaels, who sat on the other side of the classroom, ended up answering the most, and from the top of the sheet hanging off of her desk haphazardly, she could make out a 74 out of 100 written by a seemingly proud hand.

Kameron had always been the quiet kid, although she’d definitely come out of her shell since freshman year. It was a rare occurrence to see her putting her hand up in class, but their math teacher was so far up her ass that it forcefully made her answer questions. She would always shoot an encouraging smile the auburn-haired girl’s way, knowing that she knew the answer, and it gave Kameron a little bit of confidence. You could see her face light up whenever she was praised, and, Brianna had to admit, it was kind of sweet.

After a less-than-bearable hour, Brianna shoved her pen and exercise book into her bag, about to push herself away from her desk before her teacher called out, “Brianna and Kameron, please wait after class,” staring both of them down so they knew they couldn’t easily escape.

If Brianna were a three-year-old, she would’ve thrown a tantrum right there, with tears and all. She just wanted to break free from the eighth circle of Hell that was this classroom and join Monét, Bob, and the rest of her friends for lunch.

The remainder of the class left within the next minute, and Brianna and Kameron walked over to their teacher’s desk with a little apprehension.

“Girls, sit down,” she asked. Kameron took the seat out from the front desk and sat there while Brianna perched on the edge of another table, much to their math teacher’s dismay.

“Brianna, you seem to not be taking any of my direction, and I think there are some precautions that we need to take.”

The blonde raised an eyebrow. “Precautions?” she questioned.

“I was thinking, if she would be happy to, Kameron could tutor you.” Kameron looked over at Brianna like a deer caught in headlights, her face fluctuating between sheet white and beet red. Brianna mirrored her expression, except without the blushing. “She never fails to show every single piece of working, and could probably help you out. I’m not saying it’s mandatory, but if Kameron chooses to opt out then I have many other students that I can ask.”

The only other people in her class that were amazing at math were the greasy, smelly guys who’d probably never even looked at a girl for longer than two seconds. Or, the polar opposite, the ones who looked at girls for far too long to the point where it became predatory. Brianna certainly didn’t want to get stuck with them, and so she quietly prayed that Kameron would agree.

“I, uh, sure,” Kameron said. “If that’s alright with you?”

Brianna nodded almost too enthusiastically.

“Great!” Their teacher clapped her hands together, a smiled pulled across her lips. “You can start tonight. And you guys can work the schedule out yourselves, as long as you’re meeting at least twice a week.”

They were shortly dismissed, and exited the classroom together. Brianna let out a sigh, and Kameron appeared so tense that even her breathing was frozen. Brianna didn’t know what she was even worrying about; they’d known each other for the past two years, they just hadn’t spoken much.

“So, where should we meet tonight?” Kameron asked, rubbing her bicep with one hand.

“I have karate practice tonight, so it would have to be some time after 6pm,” she replied. She didn’t think they were close enough to suggest, “Hey, what about your/my house?” so she was hoping that Kameron had some idea in mind.

Kameron looked taken aback at the mention of martial arts; she wouldn’t have guessed that the tiny blonde she was about to tutor could probably kick her ass in one move. She herself went to the gym most nights, but that was glaringly obvious unlike Brianna’s stature.

The cogs seemed to turn in her head. “There’s a little place on the edge of town; a diner,” she said tentatively. “I can send you the address on Facebook, or something.”

“That old 50s diner?” Brianna asked. She’d been meaning to go there at some point, but she was always so busy with extracurriculars.

“Yeah, it’s pretty nice there.” She cracked a small smile.

“I can meet you there at seven if that works for you?” she said.

“That sounds good. I’ll see you then.” They parted ways, Brianna swinging her bag over her shoulder, the weight of it just as heavy as the humiliation she felt, looming in the back of her mind.

Kameron was already inside the diner once Brianna arrived, and so the shorter of the two took the moment alone to admire the outside of the building. Above the walls were red and white chequered tiles, worn and chipped a little with age, and the sign directly above the door flashed white, buzzing softly. Most of the front wall was window except for the bottom three feet that covered the seat of the benches, also adorned with the same tiles. It was a cute place, quite cosy-looking, and she could see through a tiny window at the back some people working in the kitchen, steam rising from the stove and water vapour crawling from the ice and freezer. She also spotted Kameron, her red hair bright against the few brunettes and blondes sitting inside with her. She was tapping a pen against some paper laying on the table and had a drink in front of her.

Brianna pushed the door open and was greeted by an arrangement of smells coming from the kitchen, as well as Kameron’s head shooting around at the squeak of the hinges. The warmth enveloped her which was a lovely change from the chill outside, but she was still quite hot from karate.

“Hey,” she said breathlessly as she walked over to Kameron, sitting down on the red, leather bench opposite her. She noticed the wire-rimmed, aviator-style glasses sitting on the bridge of her nose which she’d never seen before, and Brianna turned her head slightly to silently question why.

Kameron noticed this. “Oh, I wear these instead of contacts when my eyes get tired,” she responded.

“I didn’t even know you wore contacts,” Brianna said. She looked into Kameron’s eyes as if she would see them there.

Kameron chuckled softly before taking a sip of her pink milkshake and turning the papers towards Brianna. “I found some practice papers online that I thought we could go through.”

Brianna eyed them up, dreading the likely easy questions already. Despite hating it all, she wasn’t going to give Kameron a hard time over it. She just needed to suck it up.

“Where do you wanna start?” Kameron asked.

Brianna flicked through each bit of paper until she landed on something vaguely interesting. “Let’s go with this one.” She fished it out from the pile. The topics listed on the front were circle theorem, trigonometry, simultaneous equations, quadratic sequences, and iteration. She liked four out of those five topics; the way to answer circle theorem questions on a test was basically saying, “this is this because I said so”. Yet, using that to answer other questions was frowned upon.

“Great!” Kameron said, although she looked pained as she spotted the topics. “I needed to go over iteration anyway.”

“Can we start with some trig?” Brianna asked. “It’s, like, minimal writing.”

“Sure thing.” She opened the booklet and turned to a page that had a triangle on it. “You probably know this like the back of your hand, but I wanna start easy, anyway.”

Brianna peered over to look at the page, and fished through her bag for a calculator. She cursed at herself once she realised she’d left it at home, but Kameron thankfully had one on hand.

She checked over the information she’d been given in the question and slammed it all into the calculator, writing down the answer she was given in the box at the bottom of the sheet.

Kameron looked at her quizzically. “You know, the whole point of me tutoring you was so you’d write down your working.”

Brianna huffed and picked up the pen again, pressing a couple buttons on her calculator to look through its recent history. She copied out the calculations: tan(angle) = 15/9, followed by tan^-1(15/9) = angle. “Is this alright?” she asked.

“You’d get one more mark for labelling the sides of the triangle,” Kameron said. She smiled and bit the end of her tongue teasingly when Brianna rolled her eyes and put pen to paper once again.

They continued these tutoring sessions at the diner for three more weeks, meeting every Monday and Friday for a couple hours or more. Brianna had gone from loathing them to simply not being the biggest fan, and that was improvement enough for the time being. Kameron still came off as tentative whenever she was around her, though, although, she wasn’t as bad as when they first spoke. She liked to poke fun at Brianna sometimes, testing the water most likely, and Brianna would just laugh and shoot something right back.

“The usual?” the woman who was normally their waitress asked from behind the counter.

“Uh-huh,” Brianna said. She always ordered a strawberry milkshake for Kameron and a chocolate milkshake for herself, and then a slice of cheesecake to share between them. Paying for Kameron’s drink was the least she could do to thank her for wasting her time on her.

“And the usual table?”

“Thirty-seven, like always.” She flashed the waitress a smile.

She returned the gesture. “Coming right up.”

Brianna went and sat back down opposite Kameron, who thanked her like always. Brianna was exhausted from today - her math teacher had been giving her a hard time yet again, something about some homework she hadn’t handed in. Sure, she wasn’t the best at returning assignments in any class, but she had significantly less time than before now that she was doing four hours of tutoring per week. That woman just couldn’t let her win.

“Brianna?” Kameron said, tilting her head at the blonde. “You okay?”

Brianna snapped out of her frustrated trance. “Huh? Oh, I’m fine,” she said.

“Is this about what happened in Math today?” she asked. Brianna didn’t even realise she cared enough about her to ask about it.

“… A little,” she admitted. “She just seems to have it out for me all the time.”

“I know she’s nice to me, but she’s such a bitch,” Kameron said. “I think she only likes me because I only speak when she wants me to.”

“Right?” Brianna exclaimed. “That’s exactly it.” Her eyes widened. “That wasn’t meant to be an attack on you - I think she likes you because you’re a lovely person.”

Kameron’s face became heated and she looked like she was trying to suppress a smile, but she eventually gave it permission to show. “I- Thanks,” she said, rubbing the back of her neck. “But, seriously-” she reached forward to touch Brianna’s arm very lightly, “-she hates you because she can’t control you. And that’s why she got me to tutor you.”

The hair on the back of Brianna’s neck stood on end at the touch. “Part of me wants to throw all of her efforts back in her face.”

“The only way to get revenge on her is to just do better.” She smiled. “Become so good at math that you have to take over the class.”

Brianna giggled. “Imagine that; she just has to leave the classroom because I’m too good.”

Kameron laughed along with her. “It-”

“Here’s your milkshakes and cheesecake, girls,” their waitress interrupted, and Kameron pulled her hand back abruptly. Brianna suddenly missed her physical presence there.

The waitress put their milkshakes down, the strawberry in front of Kameron and the chocolate in front of Brianna, and set the cheesecake at the end of the table, a fork lying on either side of it. Although Brianna was grateful that their food and drink had arrived, she was enjoying the conversation that she and Kameron had going.

They both said thank you to her and drank a bit of their milkshakes, deciding to save the cheesecake for when they had done a bit of work.

Kameron set her drink aside and pushed a couple sheets of paper towards Brianna. “So,” she said, “are you ready to tackle some percentage increase?”

Brianna groaned; these questions were always far too much writing. Nine times out of ten, they were stupid comparison questions to do with interest or something involving car value.

“I can’t say no, can I?” she said matter-of-factly.

“No; then you’ll be buying me this milkshake for nothing,” Kameron joked.

“Can’t I be buying it as a lovely, caring friend?” she countered, blinking innocently at the girl opposite her.

Kameron’s face lit up, and a beaming smile broke through her previously neutral exterior. “We’re friends?” she asked, mirroring genuine innocence.

Brianna furrowed her eyebrows. “Of course we are,” she said. “We can’t not be friends after hanging out this much.”

The redhead’s smile widened. “Of course,” she said. “I… I dunno why I assumed anything different.”

Unsure of how to respond, Brianna took a long sip of her chocolate milkshake. She was so used to breezing by when it came to making friends, that it hadn’t fully occurred to her that Kameron was struggling with the prospect of it. A product of her shyness, she guessed. But Kameron was a sweet girl - if she were more outgoing, there would be no doubt that she would be one of the more popular students.

“Should we get started with that percentage increase?” Kameron asked, breaking the brief silence.

“If we have to,” she replied, although picked up her pen and calculator. She just had to keep reminding herself that this tutoring - if you could still call it that - was going to benefit her in the long run. It had been a while since she’d received a good Math grade.

“We’ve got that cheesecake to look forward to once we’re done,” Kameron said.

Brianna ran her fingers through her thick, blonde hair as she released a sigh, reading over the first question. There were no ways to articulate just how much she hated this type of writing, but at least she got a small reward at the end of it: cheesecake, an improved grade, and seeing Kameron. The girl had really grown on her.

“Brianna, you good?” Kameron asked her, tilting her head to try and get a better look at the blonde’s expression.

The girl had her head propped up in her hands, fingers over her forehead shielding her expression. School had been painful, even more so because of their goddamn Math teacher. It seemed to Brianna that she just couldn’t get her off her back, no matter how hard she was trying. She felt like she was an olden-day prisoner turning a crank - it was cruel, pointless work, and it wasn’t getting her anywhere.

Brianna nodded to Kameron’s question, but the other girl saw right through her lie. Cautiously, she reached out to touch Brianna’s hand, enclosing it in her larger one. She slowly pulled it away from her face, revealing a dreary expression and eyes that wouldn’t meet hers.

“You can talk to me,” Kameron assured.

Brianna squeezed her hand weakly. “I just…” she began, “I’m not feeling great. Nothing I do is enough.”

“Don’t let some vile teacher get you down,” she said, her eyebrows knotting together. “You’re a smart girl, Brianna. And you’re trying to improve. That’s what matters.”

“She’s just being such a bitch about it,” Brianna spat. “I’m doing what she’s asking, goddamnit. That should be enough.”

“It is,” Kameron insisted.

Her eyes flashed a deadly glare. “Not to her.”

Kameron gritted her teeth. With Brianna’s hand in hers, that part of her body felt disconnected. The other girl seemed okay with their current position, but, God, it had been so long since she’d interacted with a friend so physically. She was so hyper-aware of the feeling of skin-on-skin that she was frozen, and that feeling wasn’t helped by the anger she felt towards her teacher.

She wasn’t going to make Brianna see how meaningless their teacher’s frustration at her was, but like the stubbornly passionate Cancer she was, she was at least going to try. She’d grown to care deeply about Brianna, and even though she hated how quickly she put so much faith into a friendship, she was beginning to accept that that was what was happening. To an outsider, their conversations sounded a little like an ego stroke, but she knew the situation was far from that.

“We’re still gonna do work, though, okay?” Kameron said. “I know it’s gonna suck basically proving to her that her idea was good, but this will help you in the long run.”

Tears of dread pricked Brianna’s eyes, but she wasn’t going to let herself cry at that moment. As much as she hated to admit it, Kameron was right - she just needed to buckle up and get on with it for a few more weeks, and then maybe, just maybe, her teacher would hop off.

For some reason, she found it hard to pull her hand away from Kameron’s, although she had to if she was going to write. She took one long look at the question in front of her before angrily slamming the necessary equations into her calculator, writing down her final answer once she was finished.

Kameron raised an eyebrow at her, pursing her lips and exhaling. As soon as she’d finished, Brianna was straight onto the next question, working speedily, spite fuelling her work.

“Hey, slow down,” Kameron said, putting her hand forward, but refraining from touching her this time.

Brianna did, but she still continued to push through a third question. She looked up at Kameron and the volume of already-present tears began to increase as she continued to blindly press buttons.

“I know you’re having a bad day, but don’t let it derail you,” she continued. “And don’t take it out on that calculator. Slow down; do the writing.”

She looked back down, retracing her steps, and shakily wrote her working. Once she was done with the first question, she slapped the pen on the table, the sound emitted making both of them wince.

“I can’t do this,” Brianna said, running both hands through the sides of her hair and gripping the roots. “I’ll do an extra day tomorrow, I swear, I just can’t do it right now.”

Without prompt, Kameron rose from her seat. Brianna suspected she was annoyed with her brattish behaviour, now ready to leave her stupid drama, but when she shuffled up beside her on her side of the table and wrapped her arms around her, those suspicions dissipated. Brianna leaned into her embrace, loosening the strong hold on her hair and winding her arms around Kameron’s waist. Her scalp throbbed lightly, and she let some discreet tears fall.

“We’ll leave it for now,” Kameron said softly.

“Thank you,” Brianna whispered. She could feel eyes on the both of them, however, that was what she cared least about at that moment.

“You want another milkshake?”

She shook her head. “I just want to stay here.” She pulled on the taller girl’s shirt to bring her closer.

Kameron was noticeably tense, but Brianna didn’t mind. She simply appreciated her presence. Plus, it was a nice gesture. For the past few weeks, she’d been going by Kameron’s boundaries, and she realised that this was the first time they’d hugged.

When Kameron was standing outside the diner instead of inside like usual, Brianna was a little confused. She had never waited for her outside if she arrived first - she would sit down and await her, maybe order their drinks if she was running late for any reason. She was holding a white, card box with a red line going around it in both hands, and two milkshakes in plastic to-go cups were balanced on top in a cardboard drinks holder.

“What’s this?” Brianna asked, her eyebrows knitted together as she eyed up the scene in front of her.

Kameron shrugged. “I thought we could go somewhere new,” she said a little apprehensively, her voice wavering. “Of course, with our usual things. Our waitress seemed a little confused when I asked for it to go.” She laughed nervously, and Brianna imagined her hand rubbing the back of her neck like she usually did. The term our waitress made her feel famous, like she could afford a thing like that.

“So, where are we going?” Brianna asked.

“I, err, I was thinking we could go to my house instead.” Kameron shuffled around. “Soon, we’re gonna start associating that place with math, and we’ll hate it.”

Brianna had to admit that she felt a bit nervous at the idea. What if it got awkward? What if her parents weren’t nice? No, no, her brain had to shut up for now. Kameron was even more tentative than her, and she just had to remind herself that, whatever she was feeling, Kameron probably felt a thousand times more intensely.

“That sounds great,” she replied, plastering a smile over her nervousness. Maybe if she told herself that, she’d believe it.

Kameron visibly relaxed, returning the smile. “Great,” she said. “It’s not too far from here so we can walk.

“Lead the way,” Brianna said, motioning for her to move forward. She did as instructed, and the two began to walk.

The diner was situated at the end of a long road, surrounded by the openings of a small forest, so with that as a reference, Brianna tried to picture where Kameron’s house was and what it looked like. She imagined it being in the suburbs on the edge of town, probably in a nice neighbourhood. Most houses in New York looked the same - copy-and-paste, three bedroom family houses, unless you lived in the centre of the city. Then, it was the option of a cramped apartment, or a mansion worth millions of dollars.

“So, how was school today?” Kameron asked. “Thank God we didn’t have Math.”

Brianna chuckled. “That automatically made it a good day,” she said. “It went well, I guess. What about you?”

Kameron nodded. “Same. Dance was fun; we kind of got to do whatever.”

“You take Dance?” Brianna half asked, half exclaimed in shock. Dance was full of the cocky, overconfident kids, extroverts who didn’t have a care in the world. That was the complete opposite of Kameron.

“You didn’t know?” Kameron asked.

“I don’t exactly keep up with Dance students.” She tried to imagine how Kameron would dance, but the image just wouldn’t, couldn’t, come to her head.

“I’m performing with some others at school next month,” she said, “if you wanted to come watch.”

Brianna smiled. Maybe she’d get to see the real Kameron, the one in her natural habitat. No matter how good she was at Math, she could never help but worry if she was getting something wrong. Dance, now that Brianna had wrapped her head around the concept, seemed more like Kameron’s niche; she was happily sharing it with her, and that spoke more than any anxious, jumbled sentence could.

“That would be awesome,” she said.

After passing through most of the more expensive suburban areas, they came to another long road. This one was surrounded by more trees and grass, and there were some houses dotted along it. The tarmac was free of potholes and the sidewalk mostly free of cracks, and overall, the area was pretty nice. The houses were mostly disguised by trees, but from what Brianna could see, they were grand and picturesque, like something out of a movie.

They continued along the road until they came to the end of it, and they were met with a large, tall house - if you could even call it that. It was practically a mini-mansion.

“This is where you live?!” Brianna exclaimed. She looked up at the building in awe. It had organised ivy and vines growing up the wall, and the front door was about a foot taller than Kameron, painted a rich black. The walls were exposed, grey brick, extending up to the attic that seemed to be converted into another room. The front porch was caged by four white pillars, and the windows were framed by the same colour. It was like a modernised princess’ castle.

Kameron led her to the front door, setting down their food and drink so she could pull her keys out of her pocket. “My family may or may not be rich,” she said, unlocking the door, which opened with a click. They stepped inside, and Brianna was even more blown away by its size. “Well, not exactly rich. My parents are in high-up jobs, though.” She went back to grab the containers still outside.

“This is… big,” was all Brianna could choke out. They stood in the living room, which had creamy walls and two long, suede, L-shaped couches lying in front of a sixty-inch TV. Several photos in frames were dotted around: Kameron and her parents, a couple school photos, et cetera.

Kameron took the two of them into the kitchen-stroke-dining room. At the far end was a medium, wooden table with six black chairs, and the colour of it matched the tone of the cupboards lining the walls. The black matched the countertops, both glossy and chic.

“We moved to New York because of my dad,” Kameron spoke up, noticing Brianna’s starstruckness. “He had to travel a lot, especially to the City. So, it was easier to move.”

Brianna sat down on one of the chairs, which cushioned her perfectly. “Where did you move from?” she asked.

“Tennessee.” The moderate, southern twang that occurred in her voice sometimes suddenly made sense. Brianna realised that she was learning more about Kameron today than she’d learnt in the last few weeks.

Kameron removed the slice of cheesecake from its box and went to grab a couple plates from the cupboard. Brianna caught herself staring as she reached up for them, standing on her tiptoes and her stomach exposed. Her abs looked like they were chiselled by the Ancient Greeks.

She looked away, immediately ashamed. Kameron was her friend, and not even one that she’d known that long. It was weird to look at her in any other way - however, that was becoming a struggle the more Kameron stretched.

“Do you want the big half or the small half?” Kameron asked, luckily interrupting her train of thought.

“Isn’t the point of fractions supposed to be that they’re equal?”

“Small technicalities.” She tutted jokingly.

“Hey, nothing wrong with trying to get into the math spirit.” She raised her arms to show innocence. “Big half.”

The redhead put their milkshakes on the according plate and padded across the tile floor, sitting down opposite Brianna. She moved the plate with the chocolate milkshake towards her.

“I swear,” Kameron said, “these cheesecakes are my motivation to go to the gym more.”

“As if you’d need to do that,” Brianna laughed. “You’re ripped.”

Kameron chuckled, a blush rising to her cheeks as she spotted Brianna not-so-subtly eyeing up her arms. “I could look ripped-er.”

“Why do you work out so much, anyway?”

“Why do you do karate?” Kameron countered.

“I asked you first.”

“I asked you… second.”

Brianna laughed, her eyes creasing. “That makes no sense,” she said. “But if you’re gonna be difficult…” Kameron pouted playfully. “It’s just for fun. I started when I was a lot younger. But, it also helps with self-defence.”

“Now my answer seems really stupid,” Kameron said lowly.

“Go on; I’m sure it’s not,” Brianna assured. She smiled at her encouragingly.

She took a long sip of her milkshake, not meeting the blonde’s eyes. “Promise me you won’t laugh?”

“Promise.”

She took a deep breath in. “I just wanted to be strong enough to pick up every dog,” she said, eyes directed at the table and the redness still in her cheeks. “Like, the big ones.”

Brianna was expecting a tragic story of betrayal and revenge, and at her pleasant surprise, she couldn’t help but let out a noise of endearment. “That definitely wasn’t what I was expecting,” she said, unable to disguise her grin. “That’s so sweet, Kam.” They both looked a little taken aback at the nickname, but neither one spoke on it.

“It’s kept me going on this long,” she said, looking back up. “I can lift a labrador, a malamute, you name it.”

“Can you lift humans?” Brianna asked. The thought had been lingering on her mind from the moment Kameron had mentioned working out, but she hadn’t predicted it to fall out of her mouth. She was silent as soon as the question had been asked.

“Y-you wanna try?” Kameron stuttered. She looked Brianna over, probably sizing her up, but Brianna herself felt like there was another element in her stare.

“I mean, we have the time, don’t we?”

Kameron’s eyes widened. “Oh, my God, I completely forgot about the math work,” she said. “… Maybe we could try after that.”

Brianna did her best to hide disappointment, but Kameron’s obvious subject change clearly showed alarm. The last thing she wanted was for her to be uncomfortable, feeling like the two were moving too fast friendship-wise.

“Sure thing.” Brianna smiled softly.

Kameron looked deep in thought for a second. “Actually, no,” she said. “Math can wait. And this’ll be more fun.” It sounded a little like an internal pep talk that had made its way out into the open, but that made it all the more charming.

Brianna pushed her chair out from under her with the back of her legs, and Kameron followed suit. The other girl bent down onto one knee.

“Stand in front of my left shoulder,” she instructed, so Brianna did just that. Kameron wrapped her arms around Brianna’s thighs and then pushed herself up, and Brianna fell over her shoulder. In a second, she was hoisted in the air, giggling at the sensation like a child. “You okay up there?” Kameron asked, laughing along with her. She had to admit, she was a little surprised at her strength.

“I’m good,” Brianna said, using Kameron’s shirt to push herself up - she felt she like was on top of the world. Kameron twirled her around. “Show off,” she teased.

“You’re just so pint-sized,” Kameron retorted, repeating her action, “that it’s easy.” She set Brianna back down on the ground.

Brianna scowled. “You won’t think I’m pint-sized when I take you down with a kick,” she said bluntly.

“Is that a threat?” she asked, smirking. She sat back down in her chair, resting her head in one hand, and raising the opposite eyebrow. The sight made Brianna feel an emotion she had on the tip of her tongue, but she couldn’t quite pinpoint it.

“Make of it what you will,” Brianna replied, sitting down as well.

“Now that’s definitely a threat,” Kameron said.

There was a soft click, the sound of a large door shutting, and the sound of footsteps. The collection of noises brought the two students out of their little bubble as - Brianna assumed - Kameron’s mom walked in. The redhead shot around, back to her timid demeanour.

Her mom had shoulder-length, brown hair, and was dressed in a pantsuit - she must’ve just been arriving home from work. She set her briefcase down neatly on the floor and took her hair down from her ponytail. It took her a moment to register the fact there were two people at the table instead of the usual one.

“Oh, I didn’t see you there!” she exclaimed, masking her exhausted expression with a shining grin. “Is your name Bri?”

“Brianna,” Brianna corrected, returning the smile. She could see Kameron’s cheeks going rosy for the third time that afternoon. “Well, either works.”

“Ah, you’ll have to forgive me for not noticing you at first,” she said. The woman had an even thicker accent than her daughter. “It’s not often that Kameron has friends round.”

The girl in question buried her face in her hands. “You’re making me sound like a loser,” she said, and Brianna was startled when her accent came through stronger. Normally, it was almost undetectable, only coming through on certain words or when she was anxious.

“So, what are you girls doing?” her mom asked.

“Some math,” Kameron said. That was a bit of an overstatement, considering that they hadn’t even taken any papers out.

“If y’all get hungry while you work, there are snacks in the pantry,” she said. She walked over, kissing Kameron on the head and ruffling her hair. “I’ve got to take a call in five, so I’ll see you later.” She flashed a smile towards Brianna before heading towards the stairs, picking up her suitcase on the way out.

“Sorry about that,” Kameron said once the sound of footsteps against carpet disappeared. “She’s so busy, she doesn’t notice most stuff.”

“It’s okay,” Brianna said. “But, why did she think my name was Bri?”

“I don’t know,” she said quickly. It was clear that she did.

They did the same the following time they met - they met at the diner, grabbed their food, and made their way back to Kameron’s. Instead of their usual cheesecake slice, the two had decided that it was time for something new. The diner was home to a whole variety of cakes, pastries, and fast food, and it was weird to always get the same thing when so many other delicious foods were on display. Per Brianna’s request, they’d opted for two hefty chocolate éclairs, stuffed with whipped cream. Kameron had never tried one, which was an outrage to her, and so she had insisted that she tried one.

When they arrived, the door was already unlocked and immediately upon opening, sound filled Brianna’s ears. There were a couple authoritative voices talking, and what sounded like the crackle of a Skype call. Kameron showed a little annoyance at it.

“What’s that?” Brianna asked.

Kameron sighed. “Some conference thing that my dad’s doing,” she said. “A few people from his branch are here, and then they all Skype the head of the company who’s always too goddamn “busy” to leave his office, even though it’s less than an hour from here.” She made quotation marks with her fingers.

Soundlessly, she walked slowly into the dining room where they were all seated around the table, Brianna following. She peered into the room from behind Kameron to see several men and one woman dressed in office attire, accompanied by a MacBook placed in one corner of the table with a man dressed similarly on the screen.

The man in the centre facing them smiled, tipping his chin upwards to make it seen; the rest of the party turned around with dead expressions.

“Hey, good day at school?” he asked, so Brianna assumed that he was Kameron’s dad. He looked over at the blonde. “And you must be Brianna?”

“It was alright,” Kameron said as Brianna nodded and smiled a little. She had her bottom lip seized between her teeth. Her father went back to speaking to his colleagues, this time in a hushed tone, and Kameron backed herself and Brianna back towards the living room. “Uh, we’ll have to do everything up in my room,” she whispered. “If that’s okay.”

Brianna would’ve been lying if she said she wasn’t a little nervous. The whole prospect of being in a friend’s room was quite foreign to her, even when it came to Bob or Monét, who she’d known for years. She was used to just chilling downstairs, watching trashy TV and/or eating trashy food. But, to be fair, math tutoring at a friend’s house was also new territory, and that hadn’t gone terribly. It couldn’t be much worse in a bedroom.

“That’s alright,” Brianna said.

Kameron nodded curtly, walking towards the stairs and implying that Brianna should follow her.

She was led up two flights of stairs, the first taking them to the floor above with Kameron’s parents’ bedroom, a second bathroom, and another, smaller living room. The second flight then took them to the attic conversion, which was now Kameron’s bedroom.

Her room spanned half of the floor, the other half being taken up by the stairs and the part of the attic still used for storage, which was separated by a wall. The walls were painted baby pink and didn’t have much on them apart from some fairy lights dangling along them. Her bed resided next to the far wall of the room; a vanity table and a half-dead potted plant were lined along the left side. There were other random things dotted around, including a selection of dumbbells.

“So, what’s that conference about?” Brianna asked.

Kameron shrugged. “General business stuff, probably,” she said. “I don’t see why they can’t just do it somewhere else; they hold them here way more often than anywhere else.” She walked across the room and sat on her bed, beginning to dig through her bag for math work. Brianna followed, perching lightly on the end of it and balancing the food and drinks on her lap.

“You don’t like your dad’s work friends?” she asked, puzzled. She’d always got on well with her mom’s colleagues whenever they came over; they were pretty friendly and always made sure to speak to her. Of course, like anywhere, there was the occasional drama at work, but it was never anything serious. They were all smart, kind, rational adults.

“They’re barely friends,” Kameron snarled. She leant back, lying down on top of her duvet.

“What do you mean?” Brianna asked.

“They just- don’t worry, it sounds stupid,” she said, looking up at the ceiling.

“No, I’m sure it’s not,” she insisted, furrowing her eyebrows and pulling herself onto the bed more, shifting a little closer to Kameron. Their thighs were almost touching, but Brianna felt repelled slightly, like one magnetic force against a similar one. Perhaps it was the setting that made her feel unable to make contact. Perhaps it was Kameron, or maybe even herself.

“Well, it’s like- it seems like they look down on us. We didn’t even pay for our house in full - my dad’s company paid half of it, and all the extra things like my room was stuff we forked out ourselves, and it took so much work.” She sighed, a little defeated. “They’re a lot richer than us. And it seems like they come over here just to look at the house and make fun of us a little more.” She looked at Brianna. “Do I sound crazy?”

Brianna shook her head violently. “Not at all,” she said. “Rich people are dicks like that.” She suddenly remembered the food and drink in front of her. “Hey, how about we have the éclairs? They might make you feel a little better.”

Kameron sat up after a couple seconds of deliberating, deciding that a sweet treat would, in fact, cheer her up a bit. Her legs brushed Brianna’s, and the feeling made all her hairs stand on end. “Go on, then.”

Brianna took the two milkshakes off the box and set them on the cream carpet, opening the box and looking at the éclairs. She moved the box towards Kameron so she could take one. They bit into their food at the same time, and Brianna decided that she’d definitely get an éclair the next few times Kameron tutored her. Kameron wolfed hers down.

“This is so good,” she said, her mouth full of pastry, chocolate, and cream. She had a little whipped cream on her nose.

Brianna laughed at the sight. “You have a little something,” she said, reaching forward with her pointer finger to swipe it off of her nose. Kameron stayed frozen still, her pleased expression turning to one of trepidation, only at the drop of a smile. Brianna cleaned it off in less than a second and watched Kameron’s face go scarlet.

“Thanks”, she said softly, and went back to eating at the same speed, this time with an element of panic.

That’s what their interactions always came down to: a form of panic. Brianna, now she’d thought about it, had noticed it in both of them. Obviously, Kameron seemed to be the more timid of the two, but she’d surprised herself with her own shyness as well. She wasn’t usually like that.

One explanation for it could’ve been her Math teacher, as ridiculous as it sounded. She’d been reduced from slightly cocky about her math abilities to breaking down crying about them in just a few weeks. Plus, the degradation from that woman was enough to make anyone a little on edge.

Another could’ve been that she’d simply picked it up from Kameron. Adopted her mannerisms, perhaps.

The last explanation was the most likely, but Brianna hadn’t even admitted it to herself. This was the first time she’d properly thought about it, anyway. She’d never really liked someone before. The concept of it was foreign to her. The other two explanations, she’d felt before, understood them. This one - she’d just have to see for herself. She wasn’t even sure if that was the case.

And she didn’t like that feeling. The feeling of the unknown.

“You okay now?” Brianna asked Kameron, trying to snap herself out of her thoughts.

Kameron untensed her shoulders, nodding. “More okay than before,” she said, licking the ends of her fingers once she’d finished eating. “Is it alright if we pause on the math for a bit?”

“You didn’t even have to ask,” Brianna said, chuckling. “What do you wanna do instead?”

“Well, since we’re trapped in my room, we could just… talk?” she suggested. “I don’t know, I’m bad at suggestions.”

“Talking’s fine.” And it was. Brianna picked up the two milkshakes from the floor and placed the empty box there in their place, handing the pink one to Kameron.

“We should try and change up our milkshake choices, too,” she laughed, taking the drink. “But this one is just too damn good.”

“One day, we should just try everything they have,” Brianna said. “Like, maybe even next week. The chocolate gâteau looks amazing.”

“It’s a date,” Kameron replied. “Not a date- you know what I mean.”

Brianna giggled. “It’s okay, I do,” she said. Inside, her heart was racing a little at the idea. Kameron was blushing once again, and Brianna felt some colour rise to her cheeks as well. They sat in silence for a bit, just enjoying their drinks, but also unsure of what to say. It wasn’t often that Brianna found herself empty-mouthed, but then again, it wasn’t often that her friends did, either.

There was the almost inaudible sound of speaking from downstairs, but neither one could make out any clear words. Brianna was a little curious about what Kameron’s parents did as a job, however, Kameron seemed like she wasn’t a fan of their work, at least, not of her dad’s.

“Do you miss Tennessee?” Brianna asked her.

She’d clearly caught Kameron off-guard with that one. Her forehead creased as she questioned herself. “Sometimes, yeah,” she said. “It was a lot simpler there, and people were nicer. But New York is more interesting.”

“Oh, yeah?” Brianna asked. “Why’s that?”

“There’s just a lot more to do,” she said. “Before here, I lived in Nashville, which was more exciting than the city I was born in, but even then, it’s not like there was much.” She bit the straw in her milkshake as she drank. “And they don’t have people like you in Tennessee.”

Brianna’s breath hitched in her throat. “People like me?” she questioned. “What do you mean?”

“You’re, like, the only person who’s tried to be my friend in a hot minute,” she admitted. “God, that makes me sound like more of a loser than my mom did last time you were here.” She laughed at herself, a little embarrassed.

“You don’t have friends in Tennessee?”

She shook her head. “Only ones I’ve known since elementary, really.”

“Well, I’m proud to be your friend,” Brianna proclaimed, beaming at her, and Kameron’s expression mirrored hers ten times brighter. “You’re so sweet, Kam, and I don’t see why people wouldn’t want to hang out with you. And you’re, like, gorgeous. I’m surprised you don’t have people all over you.” Her cheeks were burning now; she felt like words had just been vomited out of her mouth.

“I could say the exact same about you.” She averted her eyes from Brianna’s and they grazed her body in a flash, so quickly that she wasn’t sure if she had just imagined it.

Brianna pulled herself further onto the bed so that she was now in the middle of it, just so her body had something to do other than fidget. She could feel the thump of her heart resounding in her chest, pumping a thousand beats a minute.

“Sorry; I feel kinda bad that we can’t work in a decent space,” Kameron apologised.

“Why don’t we just forget math altogether today?” Brianna suggested. “We do it twice a week - missing one session can’t hurt.”

Kameron pressed her lips into a line. “I guess,” she said. “I kind of just want my dad’s colleagues to fuck off in general.” She lay down again, sighing.

“Hey, they’ll be gone soon.” Brianna pushed herself a little closer to Kameron, and was surprised when the girl extended her legs out, just a couple millimetres from her own. “And you don’t even have to speak to them.”

Kameron’s expression stayed the same, lines etched into her forehead. “The whole premise of their personalities just pisses me off,” she spat. “Sorry - I must sound so negative.”

Brianna offered the only thing she could. “Do you want a hug?” she asked tentatively. She wasn’t that great at comforting verbally, so it was her best shot.

“Please.”

Brianna shifted further up the bed and wrapped an arm around Kameron, snaking it between her lower back and the top of her duvet. Kameron hugged her back with both arms; Brianna rested her head in the crook of her neck. Although she’d had minimal experience, she’d come to the conclusion that Kameron gave the best hugs. She just had that ability to make her feel warm. Way more than any coat or jacket could.

She squeezed Kameron gently before pulling back, and while the redhead looked slightly more at peace, her expression hadn’t faltered much.

“I’m glad we’re friends, Brianna,” she said with a soft smile.

“I’m glad we’re friends, too,” she replied, and she meant it wholeheartedly. A part of her wished that they could try something more.

“So, at least we had a good outcome from our teacher bullying you,” she joked, smirking and sticking her tongue out at her.

Brianna hit her arm playfully. “It’s not like the aim was getting me to listen and bring my grades up,” she responded. “Definitely not the desired outcome.”

“Trying to improve in school?” She feigned a gasp. “Unheard of.”

Brianna laughed at her. “Well, if it came down to it, I would rather have her fail me than not be friends with you,” she said. “I’m glad we got to know each other.”

“I’m glad, too,” Kameron said. She was fiddling with the hem of her shirt as she looked up at Brianna, her lip caught between her teeth. “Can I tell you something?”

“Of course,” Brianna said.

“I think you’re really pretty.”

Both of them were a mix of blushing and smiles at the admission, and Brianna was unsure of how to respond. In the most modest way, she’d received plenty of compliments in her life, but never one from someone as gorgeous as Kameron.

“Sorry, that sounded kinda weird,” Kameron said, laughing nervously.

“No, it’s okay,” Brianna assured, unable to help herself reacting the same way. “I think you are, too. Really pretty, I mean. Not weird.”

Kameron giggled, this time more at ease. “Thanks,” she said quietly.

Brianna could feel her eyes dart from Kameron’s down to her full lips as the words left her mouth, and she sensed Kameron doing the same. She moved a little closer so that hers and Kameron’s hips were just touching, and even though she felt a bit of relief at it, the feeling shot sparks of electricity through her.

Kameron moved closer too, just a few centimetres, so that her head was tilted to the side, and her long, thick hair was sprawled across her pillow. Brianna bit her lip.

Moving one hand to Kameron’s hair, she leant down slowly, watching Kameron’s eyes fleet between her lips and the rest of her face, as her own eyes did the same. She wrapped her fingers around a few locks, and they were silky soft against her skin. Once she was so close that she could feel Kameron’s shaky breath against her, she shut her eyes and plunged herself in deep.

Kameron’s lips were buttery soft, and Brianna could taste strawberry milkshake on them. She didn’t kiss back right away - instead, she pulled on Brianna’s collar, bringing her slightly closer, before she captured her lips properly with her own. Brianna felt a wave of relief wash over her, prompting her to move her lips against Kameron’s a little more, and for the first time in a while, her brain had actually shut up.

Brianna swung one leg over Kameron so that she was straddling her, and before she could even worry that that was too far for the girl under her, Kameron affirmed her by placing her hands on her waist. She had never felt so calm, yet so on fire, in her life.

A moment later, Kameron was pressing Brianna’s chest to gently separate them, and when Brianna opened her eyes, Kameron was breathing heavily. “I was running out of air,” she told her, breathless.

“That’s okay,” Brianna said, and she was surprised at her own lack of breath.

“How in the hell did we get here?” she questioned, laughing.

Brianna laughed along with her. “I have no fucking clue,” she chuckled. “Is this-” she moved her hands around to motion the scene in front of them, “-okay, though?”

Kameron nodded. “It’s perfect.” She gave Brianna a wide, closed-mouth smile that showed all the little creases around her eyes.

Staring into Kameron’s jade eyes, Brianna felt for the first time that green actually meant “good”. Her docile expression reassured her, made her feel welcome. The colour of her eyes matched that of the pen used to mark their tests, but for once, she didn’t feel a sense of disappointment or uneasiness looking at it. Instead, she felt comfort.

“Bri,” Kameron said, and she didn’t even look like she was worrying if that nickname was stepping over a boundary. They were past boundaries at that point.

“Hmm?” Brianna responded.

“Can I kiss you again?” she asked.

“You don’t need to ask, Kam,” she said, and before she could respond, she’d connected their lips once more.

#millie #crameron #miz cracker #kameron michaels #rpdr fanfiction #submission #high school au #lesbian au #s10

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gigsoupmusic · 4 years

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SORAIA's New Album 'DIG YOUR ROOTS' Out Today

Personal growth, rebirth, even revolution – such transformative concepts are the heart of what Soraia is all about. These heady themes inform the songs on Dig Your Roots, the band’s latest album, out March 13 on Wicked Cool Records. “I look at Dig Your Roots as a continuation of what was begun on Dead Reckoning,” says singer and frontwoman ZouZou Mansour of the new album’s relationship to their 2017 Wicked Cool LP. That record’s release prompted Rolling Stone/Mojo scribe David Fricke to write Soraia’s “searing guitars, burning soul and true CBGB grit…are the rock you need, in your face now.” “Dig Your Roots is coming to terms with the light and dark inside myself and in the world,” ZouZou shares. “I come from a diverse multicultural and multireligious background – my father was Muslim and Egyptian, and my mother was Belgian and Catholic. I was ‘different,’ and I hid some of my background from people, thinking I wouldn't be accepted. Digging my roots is being proud of who I am, letting it come before me even at times, being proud of where I come from, and asking the listener to do the same. “Dig Your Roots also refers to loving what grounds you: the people, the lifestyles, the places you live, where you grew up. It’s being willing to dig up your roots and re-plant if where you are no longer keeps you free – metaphorically, of course. Inherently, I want this to be the message of the record: if you're down, get up.” As a spiritual descendent of iconic women in rock such as Patti Smith and Joan Jett, ZouZou’s Philadelphia-based band also embodies elements of kindred spirits of the ’90s and beyond - like PJ Harvey and The Kills, with more than a sprinkling of ’60s Garage Rock and Soul. Their primal sonic attack spreads a message of perseverance through trials of love, loss and letting go. Bassist Travis Smith continues to be a crucial root of the Soraia tree, co-writing five of the album’s new songs with ZouZou, including “Superman Is Gone” and “Wild Woman.” “Travis delved into places on this album that we didn't go to on the last record,” she reveals. “That's scary. But he did it, which ultimately made me do it, too. It's like, ‘Hold my hand, we're going into this dark cave, and who knows what's going to happen…” Roots also finds drummer Brianna Sig with her first Soraia co-write, the enchanting “Don’t Have You.” “Her melody for the choruses reminded me of how The Sirens would lure sailors in Greek mythology,” ZouZou relates. “It was haunting and beautiful – and if Soraia isn't both of those things, then I don't know what we're doing here.” The band faced an unexpected challenge when guitarist Mike Reisman, who co-wrote four Dig tracks, including 2019 single “Evergreen,” left the group. “Mike can’t tour for longer periods of time anymore,” says ZouZou. “It hurt. He still works with us and we still connect. But you grow closer with who remains, and grow yourself.” Going forward, Nick Seditious is handling guitar duties. Further nourishing their roots is the continued support of Wicked Cool’s Stevie Van Zandt. The label head has been an advocate ever since naming their breakout track “Love Like Voodoo” the Coolest Song in the World on his syndicated radio show and SiriusXM channel Little Steven’s Underground Garage in 2013. In January 2020, Dig Your Roots' opening cut “Dangerous” becomes the tenth Coolest Song they’ve earned. Van Zandt has even become a creative collaborator, penning “Why” for Dead Reckoning and co-writing two Roots tunes: 2019 Coolest Song “Still I Rise” and forthcoming single “Darkness (Is My Only Candle).” “I trust him more than anyone in knowing what I'm trying to say and who I am,” says ZouZou. Complementing them in the studio once again is producer/engineer Geoff Sanoff, whose credits include notable work with Bruce Springsteen, Fountains Of Wayne and Dashboard Confessional. “He’s a member of the band when we’re in there,” ZouZou acknowledges. Soraia has come a long way since their punked-up cover of The Kinks’ “(I’m Not) Like Everybody Else” hit #1 on Rock radio in South America in 2015. Their independently released debut album In The Valley Of Love And Guns from 2013 features five songs co-written with Jon Bon Jovi. “I'm all about playing a fun song and throwing myself around, that's Rock ’n’ Roll at its heart,” ZouZou remarks. “But I'm also about telling the stories of resurrection and life and hope and darkness.” And now, the songs of 'Dig Your Roots' in ZouZou’s own words… 1. Dangerous I was listening to a ton of Jet and The Vines at one point, and just loved the recklessness – especially in the screams on those songs – and the pure Rock eruption of it all. It's less than three minutes and explodes the entire time. “Dangerous” was born from that specific decision to write a song with those kinds of explosive dynamics and lyrics – and as always – easy and passionate conversations about the things we love. 2. Wild Woman I had been listening to this female preacher talking about being “born inside the wild” and not knowing where you were – but that strong women thrived in the wild. I fell in love with that idea of birthing yourself – which is one way to put it – over and over when you enter into situations you're uncomfortable in, or have never been in. An added bonus is the notion of being a “wild woman” in that way was a different take on the idea I think social consciousness has on being a “wild woman.” Empowering instead of denigrating. Travis had written this swampy, mysterious riff, so we took that and made it the forefront of the song, and took the subject matter – pieced them together – and VOILA! WILD WOMAAAAAAN!!! 3. Evergreen Mike played this riff that became the verses and said he heard this drumbeat like “Howlin’ For You” by The Black Keys for it. I had been watching the movie Black Snake Moan and heard this line that the main female character “had the devil in her.” That conjured up this old South feeling for me, so I wanted to put that in and give it that vibe. The story is told with a sometimes playful and teasing attitude, and sometimes aggressive and frustrated tone. It really felt freeing and gave the speaker the power back she didn't feel she had in the first place. 4. Foxfire Travis had this intriguing idea of “foxfire” for a title line. I didn't know what it meant, so he told me all about it. It’s this phosphorescent light emitted by certain fungi on decaying timber. It’s beautiful when it glows, but it isn’t real, it’s a momentary thing. And when people would see it in the woods, many got lost being guided by it. We thought it would be interesting to write a song about depression from the standpoint of “foxfire” – or these glimmering thoughts that lead you astray and only give the illusion that everything's alright. The struggle to believe in any one thought, to characterize the confusion of that type of struggle from the speaker's point of view. 5. Darkness (Is My Only Candle) Again, a song written almost together in a room. There's a line of a Rumi poem, “Darkness is your candle.” At the time, there had been the Charlottesville riots, and lots of violence that seemed horrifically reminiscent of the racial injustices of the ’60s. I remember thinking “Where are we?” and being really upset about all the hatred and racial slurs. This song came as a result of anger, pain, sadness, worry, and ultimately the idea we can't be separate anymore or stay quiet. It took a few sessions to write because Travis and I were both so impassioned about making sure we told the truth and stayed with the times as we saw them. 6. Nothing Compares 2 U I had always felt so strongly about the Sinéad O’Connor version of this song. But despite being a big Prince fan, I had never heard his version. When I did, and heard the first line lyric change – “It’s been seven hours and thirteen days” – I knew immediately this was the one. Those numbers alone and the darker, more soulful approach he took to the lyric and melody spoke to me in a different way than the more popular version by Sinéad. In the studio, Geoff Sanoff really wanted to bring this Mott The Hoople vibe to it like “All The Young Dudes” – which added a lot more to our style of approaching it. 7. Superman Is Gone Another Travis and I song, this one was specifically about the idea of being high and feeling like “Superman” when you did that first line of anything. I'm a recovering person, so it was important to me that I also tell the story of the anger I had at my father over being absent when I was going through that. I have already forgiven him and me about that, but I wanted to tell the story honestly. And there's a part of me that still questions where were a lot of different people in my life when I was busy getting high. That idea that you wonder where people were and what they were doing when you were hardcore in this addiction – with no feeling attached to it – just a human curiosity. 8. Way That You Want It It's really just about this guy who is frustrated by a girl he digs but can't have. It's based lyrically off the same idea as “I Hate Myself For Loving You” by Joan Jett & The Blackhearts, but from the viewpoint of another character – where I'm singing as the storyteller/observer instead of the person it's all happening to. 9. Still I Rise Based on a Maya Angelou poem. I live my life in no particular time, almost in a time vacuum. And no matter what, you get up. Mike and I had originally written the song, and called it “I Am (Rise).” But Steven Van Zandt got a hold of it and loved the story of the song, so we rewrote the lyrics, and he rewrote the music to it, to really tell the story of people getting up after falling. I had taken a few lines from actual conversations or experiences I had. Then, Steven and I tried to pay homage as much as possible to the original poem. We rewrote it together in an afternoon – one of the best experiences I've had with him. 10. Don’t Have You This was officially the last song written for the album. Brianna sent me two separate song ideas that ended up becoming “Don't Have You.” This was also the last song recorded for the album, and Geoff knew right away the approach to the piano. It became something really beautiful, and I wanted to keep it simple and stripped in the front end, so the lyric could pull in the listener. This was about my own heartbreak, and that little feeling of hope and possibility still inherent in the relationship is really powerful in the middle of the song. It was Geoff's idea to speak that part instead of sing it, and I was thrilled with how it came out. 11. Euphoria “Euphoria” was written by myself and Travis. I loved the bluesy and spacious riff he came up with. I felt it left a space for some sort of testimony – so I told the story of all these experiences smashed together. Though each line seems to stand alone in some parts, they weave a truthful story of this woman coming back from the dead. I love the lyric in this one. Brianna had this great idea to end it in a church-y way, since it's mainly about wanting this high experience in life. And what a great way to end the record! Read the full article

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