#habs bears

[loviess]

happy habs hockey season! enjoy more bears art :))

[habken]

little oc sketchess

[mythid-cryptid]

I brainrotted everything out. I'm normal now.

[her-canine-teeth]

sugar water by flower face

[official-lauchzwiebel]

Hanni und Nanni aber Madame Bertoux und Frau Mägerlein sind Lesben

[princemick]

sidgeno fics are how i got into rpf. also don't ever root for the panthers. i might have to disown you otherwise

panthers r cute tho. but ok, noted, dont like the panthers.

[ohneweiterebedeutung]

[bamfkeeper]

Beautiful Devil

RQ: 'Hi, I have a request: a fic about NightcrawlerxFem!Reader, Beauty and the beast AU, starting it like the fairytale (Reader decide to sacrifice herself for her father because the scared man THINK the mysteriuos blue creature ask him to bring one of his daughters in his place). Maybe in the finale you can add the mob attacking the castle like in the episode of the '90 serie, with Graydon Creed guiding the mob (you can't look at that man and don't think he's a variant of Gaston). Just don't turn Kurt into a human, I love our fuzzy Elf. Thanks!' - @historygirl93

Warnings: F!reader, some violence, minor character death. Unedited.

A/N: I think this is a cute idea, I love the story. I don't see how Kurt could ever be viewed as 'beastly' he's too sweet. The fairytale is a longer story and involving all the details would take me a long time to write, so I did what I could to get the idea of the story across. I did my best, it was slightly challenging, and I changed just a few details just because I thought it would be better for the story.

WC: 2.2k

The village held such a prejudice against the blue demon who lived in the abandoned church. Rumors of yellow glowing eyes and a shadow with a devil's tail flicking in the dark, crawling on the walls like a hellish insect. A monster, the children of the village feared him just as much as the adults, whom had weapons ready to kill if he dared leave the cathedral.

Your father was highly religious. He wanted to banish the devil from the church once and for all, to purify the holy ground, but believed that only a sacrifice would satisfy the creature. You were horrified at first, being so helplessly given away as a sacrifice, you were the lamb that was about to be beheaded for no reason.

Upon being abandoned at the cathedral, surrounded by the harsh cold and snow, you thought you'd freeze to death. To your initial horror and surprise, the devil appeared. He flashed in front of you in black and purple smoke, like they rose from the ashes of Hell. You were far too tired and exhausted, so before you knew it, your body was wrapped and you were inside.

You felt the warmth of the fire inside the stone furnace, you sat up and watched the orange flames dance quietly while the blanket remained wrapped around your drenched form. The snow melted away and left you wet and still somewhat cold. But you were at least inside...

Once you regained enough bearings, you looked around for the devil, wondering where he was and what he was going to do to you. You felt fearful, your mind having heavy thoughts invading your mind of horrific treatment. While you searched the dark room, you saw his eyes peering to you from the darkest corner, tiny irises of gold staring through your soul.

"It's you..." your voice muttered out quietly, "You're the devil." Your hushed tone made him tilt his head slightly, he slowly walked around the wall, the far shadows hiding most of him.

"Nein...I am no Teufel..." he spoke back, his voice was even and not nearly as intimidating as you thought it would be. "I was born like this. But I am no demon." He stepped closer as he spoke to you, his appearance becoming more visible in the firelight. He had blue skin and sharp teeth like the villagers said, a long tail with a devil's spade, sharp nails and pointed ears...

"You look like one," you shakily retorted, still on edge of what his intentions were and you weren't about to fall victim without a fight. He only chuckled back, empty and somewhat...sad.

"I know."

He sat down near you, a few feet away, looking at you and slowly giving a smile, trying to be friendly. "I won't hurt you, I wouldn't ever." He paused, then continued, "Besides, a demon cannot step inside a church." He reasoned, holding out a three fingered hand to you. "Hab keine Angst."

You were cautious, but after seeing he wasn't nearly as horrifying as the town made him seem, you reached out and touched his hand. His skin was warm, he was fluffy. He felt like soft velvet, not like cold scaled skin you had been told was the skin of the devil.

Over the following weeks, you became closer to each other. You warmed up quickly after his efforts to try to appear not so scary, and once you spoke more often, he was actually very sweet and kind. You watched him feed birds and squirrels, holding the seeds in his palms and speaking to the birds as if they could understand him.

His favorites were the blue jays.

He showed you the cathedral, leading you through the massive church and showing you around. He showed you the library with lots of books along the walls, the studio where old paints and canvases were. He gave you plenty of things to do, and he provided you with good food, a large space to sleep, he treated you well. He was kind and sweet and...attractive.

You couldn't help but feel yourself get pulled towards him. Feel yourself get swept up by his chivalry and charm. He showed off in front of you, entertaining you with his skills as an acrobat and swordsman, he even let you try to swing one of his swords.

It was much heavier than you thought, making his skills all the more impressive.

You got word that your father had fallen very ill, and you wanted to see him. Kurt didn't want you to leave, scared you'd never return again. He held your hands and looked at you in the eye, his worry etched on his face. "You won't abandon me, will you?" he asks softly, "I don't wish for you to go..." he brings your hand up to his cheek, rubbing his face into your palm.

Your heart melts and you sigh, "I promise I'll come back. I just...want to make sure my father is okay..." you whisper back. You knew how he felt, being abandoned was one of his biggest fears. All he had been in his life was abandoned, by his mother, this town, sometimes he felt as though God himself has abandoned him.

With great reluctance, he let go and you rushed back into the village, desperate to see your sickly father. You were still angry he left you to die, but he was still your father. When you made it back, you came to his bedside and saw how terrible he looked. You had no idea what he had, but he looked on the verge of death.

Word got loose that you were in the town, somehow surviving the 'demon' who resided in the abandoned church. The town's greatest 'champion,' Graydon, nearly stormed up to your home and forced his way in. His voice loud and demanding, he as angry and furious with you.

The vile man had attempted to court you before. You always denied him. Why would you want to be with someone as crude and hateful as Graydon?

"How did you escape that wretched demon?" he demanded, yanking you from your father's bedside. He held your arm tight and stared at you with fury in his eyes. "That beastly creature will invade our town because of you! You were his sacrifice! Leaving signifies that the deal is broken! You've doomed all of us!"

Your eyes were wide as he basically screamed in your face, his cool was gone and he looked like he wanted to hurt you. You tugged against his strong hold, grunting as you tried to get free. "He's not a monster, or a demon! He's just a man!" You shouted back, "He's kind, gentle, he wouldn't hurt a soul!"

Graydon laughed at you, yanking you closer again. "You are lucky you are pretty, girl...you are such a naïve little thing. That devil is evil, and you have succumbed to his incubi ways. Don't worry, I'll make sure I fix that little head of yours up and rid you of the corruption he has brought upon you."

He threw you down, you hit your head and everything became a hazy mess. You heard his footsteps leave, his heavy boots hitting the old wooden floors with anger. You tried to lift yourself up, but you hit your head too hard. The world was spinning around you, but you didn't want any harm to come to Kurt. Graydon was as ruthless as he was egotistical, and he was dead set on murdering Kurt. He always had been, telling tall tales of cutting off his head and hanging it over the statue in town square.

You could hear his voice, rallying the town and heading up the treacherous path to the abandoned cathedral. You felt your heart ache, your body fading to unconsciousness from the injury.

When you regained consciousness, your body ached but the thought of Graydon already at the church gave you a newfound form of energy. You jerked up, your father had been too weak and sick to help, while you worried for him, the memory of him giving you up to die was there. You had to make a choice, and your heart had been decided.

You needed to get to the church.

You stumbled out to the stables, your body staggering as your brain felt fuzzy and heavy. You probably had a concussion, but right now that wasn't important. You didn't have a horse of your own, you prayed that the one you made it to wouldn't buck you off. The stallion let out a soft nicker, you rubbed its neck, your hand weakly holding onto the mane and you forced your body to mount.

The horse moved a few steps, adjusting to your weight. No saddle, it'll have to do.

You squeezed your legs and held on, the horse moved forward and with your encouragement it began a steady gallop through the trail that led up to the church. The horse was fast and bareback was hard for you to hold on, especially with a head injury. the horse sensed your wavering weight and tried to steady its run.

Over the hill was the church, and the stallion ran you right inside the broken down doors. You heard loud shouting, men fighting, and the sight that came to view was horrible.

Most of the men were down, unconscious, and Graydon was shooting arrows at Kurt, who had been disappearing in puffs of smoke, reappearing in other places. His yellow eyes blazed and he hissed at Graydon, landing kicks and punches to the larger man. You shouted at them to stop, but your voice fell on deaf ears.

The torches the other men had been carrying caught the tapestries and the flames eagerly began to eat the fabric and grow. The horse reared up, and you fell off its back as it ran out of the church. You sat up and cried out at Graydon, "Stop it! Don't hurt him! Can't you see what you're doing?!"

Kurt's teleporting soon became predictable, Graydon memorized the pattern and he shot an arrow into Kurt's leg right as he reappeared again. Kurt let out a strangled cry, stumbling from the beams and to the ground. By now the flames had consumed the entire room, smoke became thick and Graydon towered over Kurt's body. His eyes reflecting the fire, his face red and his hair a mess. He looked like the devil now, the fire only adding to his hellish desires to smite out Kurt's existence.

"Die, I cast you down to the pits of Hell where you belong!" Graydon tore a blade from his sheath, raising it above his head. But Kurt's eyes were focused on the burning wood above him, and he managed to teleport from that spot right as the wooden beams fell from the ceiling. Kurt reappeared by you, his fuzzy arms wrapped around yours as he teleported you outside. The last thing you saw in the church were the large beams falling onto Graydon's body, crushing him.

When you reappeared outside, you saw Kurt was hurt from the fight. He had two arrows in his body, one in his leg and one in his back, several lacerations from fighting the others and some parts of him had been burned. He let out a deep cough and he laid beside you, unresponsive.

"Kurt?? Kurt! Wake up!" You shook him, gently at first but it became more frantic when you noticed his lack of response. "Please get up!" You felt tears prick your eyes, your head swiveled around, looking for anyone to help. You weren't sure what to do, you felt hopeless. After you thought he was gone, his tail twitched at your side, gently curling up around your thigh weakly.

"Kurt??" You asked quickly, glancing down at him. You could see the exhaustion on his face, the weakness, but he nodded back. He gave you a weak smile, his yellow eyes soft and pure.

"Liebe..." he whispered back, his hand held yours and he pulled you closer. Your body naturally obeyed and you let your lips find his, both weakly pressing together as the two of you kissed for the first time. It felt so right, his hand cupped your face and his tail wrapped around you, being so weak but loving all at the same time.

You hadn't noticed the other townspeople had been watching from the trees, seeing how gentle and sweet you were to him. They could see that Kurt didn't resemble a creature of Hell like they thought, while he did seem odd looking, he didn't look to be horrific as they predicted. Their imaginations took over and the tall tales took over their logic.

When you broke the kiss, he smiled up at you. "You....came back..." he rasped, he was hurt still, but he was okay. He'd live. That's all you needed to know.

"Of course I came back...I told you I would..." you whispered sweetly, guilt gnawed at your core, "If I hadn't left then..."

Kurt cut you off, shushing you, "Nein, liebe...do not worry...the church can be rebuilt...I am going to be fine. What's another small scar? My fur will cover it anyway." He added, giving you a playful smile.

You couldn't help but roll your eyes, "Oh, Kurt...don't make me laugh right now..." You muttered, some of the onlookers came to aid you in bringing him to the town to get treatment from the doctor there. You knew he'd be okay. The awful stories were debunked and the town appeared to accept him.

You had your love, safe and sound, and the real demon of the town had been snuffed to ash.

Thanks for reading.

*BAMF*

Dividers by @/adornedwithlight

[diorsluv]

feather , part 3

“ i’m your dream come true ”

series m. list previous chapter next chapter

( socialmedia!au )

yourusername

liked by trevorzegras, _alexturcotte, lhughes_06 and 103,016 others

yourusername quinn kept provoking me at the ducks @ nucks game and started throwing a bitch fit because i was rooting for MY BROTHER’S TEAM so here’s to all the quinn girls ❤️❤️ (ft. jacky poo poo bear and trev because he played so well tn)

and just so you know i like the habs better 🙄

tagged: _quinnhughes, trevorzegras

view all comments

jackhughes I’VE NEVER SEEN THE MIDDLE PHOTO BEFORE

→ yourusername that’s bc i just made it babes

→ jackhughes all hail mini drizz, our graphic designer lord and savior 🙏

jamie.drysdale oh my god

_quinnhughes OH MY GOD

→ yourusername YEAH WHAT ARE U GONNA DO ABOUT IT NOW HUH

→ colecaufield don’t provoke him 😧

username51 SOULJA BOYYYY TELL EM

→ yourusername BABY YOU KNOW THAT I MISS YOU

lhughes_06 WHERE DID YOU GET THAT PHOTO OF HIM WHEN WE WERE KIDS

→ yourusername a magician never tells her secrets 🫢

→ lhughes_06 oh god i’m next aren’t i

→ yourusername idkkk 😈😈😈

trevorzegras I MADE IT ON THE MAIN

→ yourusername yes you did!

username28 the quinner album edit???

username3 we quinn girls thank you 🙏

username92 the huggy bear behind the scenes photos 🤧

_quinnhughes

liked by jamie.drysdale, markestapa, adamfantilli and 39,738 others

_quinnhughes she’s literally climbing something in half these photos

tagged: yourusername

view all comments

yourusername HAH YOU HAVE LESS PHOTOS THAN ME AND THEY’RE NOT EVEN THAT BAD EITHER

→ _quinnhughes YOU MAKE IT DIFFICULT TO TAKE BAD PHOTOS OF YOU

→ yourusername that’s a compliment dumbass

luca.fantilli disclaimer: NEVER try to bring her to top golf or she will accidentally hit you with a golf ball

→ yourusername YOU’RE SPREADING RUMORS ABOUT ME WTFFF 😟

→ rutgermcgroarty I’M A WITNESS

→ yourusername YOU WEREN’T EVEN THERE

username20 it’s impossible to take bad photos of this woman confirmed

jackhughes mom said to “stop terrorizing luke’s poor girl”

→ lhughes_06 SHE SAID “stop terrorizing THAT poor girl”

→ yourusername woah there slow your roll bud i’m not anyone’s girl 😐

→ _quinnhughes oh my god she literally did it to me first

trevorzegras what the shit is going on

→ _quinnhughes what the hell is “what the shit”

username40 I WAS AT THE STORE AND I SAW QUINN POINTING THAT WATER GUN AT HER HEAD WHATTTT

markestapa i think you should start putting a leash on her

→ yourusername nonono i think we’re good (don’t give them ideas)

→ edwards.73 lil drizzy as a leash kid???

→ yourusername STOP IT WITH THE LIL DRIZZY ALREADY

next chapter notes ) so she’s a short one but i liked it a lotttt i’m probably gonna go inactive for finals week (i know it’s horrible 😥) BUT I WILL BE BACK AND GREATER THAN EVER

[toomanybrainrots]

Hi pookie wookie bear I’m back from walking my fish (having a fucking mental breakdown)😍 now can I get some F!Bot!reader x drunk!Rodimus Oneshot? Tysm pookie 😘😜🥺

Are you the same anon that sent the fort max request? Just curious. But here’s your requested oneshot

Warning(s): Female Reader, Reader is referred to with female pronouns and/or referred to as a femme

Drunk Captain (A drunk Rodimus with a femme/female bot Reader)

You had no idea how you ended up with him

“Rodimus…” you let out a sigh as the Captain in your arms let out a drunken giggle. Apparently, there was a party at Swerve’s, almost everyone was there except for Ultra Magnus and yourself, everyone got drunk, and you and Ultra Magnus had to do cleanup.

And of all mechs, you ended up with the obnoxious captain.

“Awe, come on—“ Rodimus let out a drunk hiccup, an equally drunk grin plastered on his face “don’t be so uptight all the time, my femme! Relax a bit!” He said with half-lidded optics, slinging an arm around your neck “Let loose!—“ he let out another hiccup. You let out another frustrated sigh.

You ignore the rest of Rodimus’ words as you arrive at the door of Rodimus’ hab suite. You quickly enter the code and open the door, walking inside. The captain’s hab suite is as neat and clean as you expected it to be. Which, wasn’t all that neat.

You plop Rodimus onto his breath, turning on your pedes to get out as quickly as possible. Suddenly, you felt Rodimus pull you down - catching you by surprise as you find yourself now on Rodimus’ berth, his helm on your chassis and arms wrapped around your back.

“Stay. Please.” It might’ve been the tiredness in you, or maybe it was his tone, or maybe cause of the heat that had suddenly rushed to your face, but you couldn’t bring himself to deny. Not when he looked so vulnerable, was vulnerable. Not when his tone a silent plea due to his drunkenness or something else, you couldn’t tell.

Slowly, you wrap your arms around his mid section, already feeling him falling alseep on your chassis. Atleast he was warm, that was what you thought before you felt yourself drift into the land of dreams too.

[habken]

kung fu panda x bnha crossover doodles

+ panda!deku cause I couldn’t decide what I wanted him to be

[gallifreyinstituteforlearning]

What native Gallifreyan species are there?

Gallifrey has a diverse range of fauna, both native and introduced. Despite claims of minimal ecological impact, the installation of the Eye of Harmony and millions of years of Time Lord civilisation have significantly altered Gallifrey's original biosphere.

🦋 Invertebrates

Beatitude Flies: Begin as maggots and pupate into golden-winged nocturnal insects. They use nectar to create helium in their bellies and are attracted to light and decay.

Butterflies: Various species flutter across Gallifrey.

Bees: Essential for pollination.

Gullet Grubs: Likely to live in digestive tracts of larger mammals, or similar environments.

Blossom Thieves: Possibly insects that steal nectar or pollen.

Scrubblers: Likely small, cleaning insects.

Neversuch Beetles, Sandbeetles, Waspbeetles: Various beetles.

Dustworms: Likely live in dry, dusty environments.

Scissors Bugs: Possibly predatory insects with sharp mandibles.

Flutterwings: Gigantic insects (3 meters by 25 meters) that never land. Five races include Wild Endeavor, Mandrigal, Silver-Band, Blue Crystal, and Perdition.

Snails

Water-Sligs: Likely aquatic or semi-aquatic molluscs.

Web-Spinning Insects: Including spiders about an inch long.

Other dangerous invertebrates: There are also nasty creatures that live beneath big stones.

🐟 Marine Life

Singing Yaddlefish: Notable for their song, and they can be eaten.

Kittensharks: Hatch from eggs and presumably grow into Catsharks.

Axolotl Salamanders: Amphibious creatures with regenerative abilities.

🐍 Elapids

Taipan: A venomous snake, 10 metres long.

Venal Snakes: Possibly nest-stealers or highly venomous.

Bat-Snakes: Presumably flying snakes.

Dinosauria: 20-meter-long reptiles resembling brontosaurs with thick chitinous scales and serrated teeth.

🦅 Avians

Owls: Symbol of Rassilon.

Flurry Birds: Likely small, fast-moving birds.

Trunkikes: Game birds whose eggs are often eaten.

Air Diamonds: Fly in the upper atmosphere, possibly crystalline or bioluminescent.

Song Birds: Various species.

Gargantosaurs: Dinosaur-like creatures, twice the size of a hab-bloc, with two legs, vestigial wings (with purple and white feathers), and four eyes.

🦣 Mammals

Plungbolls: Thumbnail-sized furry creatures living in mountains, attach en masse to warm objects.

Taffelshrews: Edible rodent-like mammals.

Fledershrews: Bat-like, mushroom eaters, nearly extinct.

Cobblemice: Mice that sprout wings.

Rovie Mice: Field-dwelling, long-lived if kept safe, sometimes pets. They have short memories.

Moss-Rats: Possibly rodents that live in marshes with moss-like camouflage.

Vex: Burrowing animals.

Gallifreyan Womprats: 1-metre-long rats with fifteen legs.

Pig-Rats: Inhabit the Drylands, presumably combining porcine and rodent traits.

Rabbits

Flubbles: Small six-legged koalas.

Unnamed rounder rabbit-like creatures

Ounce-Apes: Might be tiny monkeys that are particularly agile.

Sealak: Perhaps a kind of seal, often eaten.

Bear-Ass: A donkey-like animal with bear-like qualities.

Horse-Cats: Probably a horse/cat hybrid-like species.

Sagittary: Horse-like creatures.

Elephants

Pig-Bears: Can be trained as pets.

Wolf-like Creatures: With long snouts and black-and-white striped fur, almost as big as adult humanoids.

Broakir: Live in foothills, often hunted for food.

Baanjxx: Arboreal browsers that like to eat hallucinogenic cerub nuts. As a child, the Doctor was kicked by one in the head, apparently.

Cows

Walrus

Gallifreyan Marlot: Purple and unique in all of time and space. Probably a bit cat-like.

House Cats: Revered as symbols of intelligence. Traditionally, Presidents kept them as pets.

🐱 Killer Cats (C.A.T.S)

Killer C.A.T.S: These sapient creatures possess instinctive precognitive powers and cat-like physiology. Known for their lethal gladiatorial contests, they despise Time Lord traditions and live in the Gin-Seng Sector of Southern Gallifrey. Their culture includes mercenaries and oracles; they are telepathic.

🏞️ Ecosystem Preservation

Though Gallifrey's outer ecology has suffered, the Time Lords have used technology to preserve many species. Extinct species have been collected, ensuring none become completely extinct. The more fearsome creatures are contained in the Death Zone, while xeno-zoos hold alien species from other worlds.

🏫 So ...

So there's your whistlestop tour of the species on Gallifrey. One day, I'll try to put these onto a species distribution map. Oh, by Rassilon's Beard, I just gave myself more work.

Related:

How is Gallifreyan geography different to Earth?: The landscape of Gallifrey.

Factoid: The Fruits of Gallifrey

What could be some biological traits of Gin-Seng cats?: Looking at who the Gin-Seng cats are, their biology, and their place on Gallifrey and in society.

Hope that helped! 😃

Any purple text is educated guesswork or theoretical. More content ... →📫Got a question? | 📚Complete list of Q+A and factoids →😆Jokes |🩻Biology |🗨️Language |🕰️Throwbacks |🤓Facts →🫀Gallifreyan Anatomy and Physiology Guide (pending) →⚕️Gallifreyan Emergency Medicine Guides →📝Source list (WIP) →📜Masterpost If you're finding your happy place in this part of the internet, feel free to buy a coffee to help keep our exhausted human conscious. She works full-time in medicine and is so very tired😴

[babydollmarauders]

MEDIA MANAGEMENT — JACK HUGHES (23-24 SZN PART 10)

au masterlist

y/ndevils00

liked by tofff73, jackhughes, and 266,359 others

y/ndevils00 🚨🚨 NEW UNCLE HAT TRICK 🚨🚨

TYLER ‘TOFFEE TRUFFLE’ TOFFOLI GOT HIS FIRST DEVILS HAT TRICK!! just coming off his first goal as a devil, too! GO NEW UNCLE!! YOU SLAYED TONIGHT, QUEEN! first slide was my reaction to his empty net hatty goal!!

but before those three goals could happen, we had to kick off the scoring somehow! and what better way to do it than with a Holtzy goal!! congrats on your first of the season!!

and squished in there between those three goals, CAPTAIN SWISS GOT HIS FIRST GOAL OF THE SEASON! TWICE! one goal WAS taken away for goalie interference— but don’t worry your slutty lil mind, Neeks, because it still counts in my heart!

my not-so-sweet, bff4l-ttylxox, maraschino cherry got a penalty for roughing— i missed what he actually did because i was climbing into the penalty box (btw if you have pics of that, please delete them, i can’t have evidence of me breaking into jail), but i’ve decided in my head that he punched a guy to defend me. and if he didn’t… what a bitch

and of course, who would i be if i didn’t point out that MY BOYFRIEND IS THE FIRST PLAYER TO GET 14 POINTS IN THE OPENING 5 GAMES OF A SEASON SINCE MARIO LEMIEUX IN 1992! whew, try saying that 10 times fast! the love of my life had FOUR primary assists tonight (on all 3 of uncle Toff’s goals and on captain’s goal!)! MY MAN, THANK YOU TO MY MAN!

p.s. i swear i feed him

p.p.s. we have no enemies of tonight, because none of the habs really played great… so i would just like to point out that, though not pictured here, I SAW MY TEDDY BEAR, COLE CAUFIELD TONIGHT! he seemed happy to see me! until i showed him my french? idk why that upset him so much

tagged dawson1417, holtz_10, tofff73, nicohischier, jackhughes, and john.marino97

Load more comments

holtz_10 thank you, y/n!!

y/ndevils00 well this is awkward

holtz_10 i’m not sure i understand how

y/ndevils00 you gave me nothing to work off of. how am i supposed to show my personality if all you say is “thank you”?

holtz_10 oh, i know! Nico gave me answer to this one: you don’t.

y/ndevils00 @/nicohischier am i a joke to you?

dawson1417 I MADE IT

y/ndevils00 you’re such a meme, i love you 🫶

dawson1417 thanks, i was born this way!

y/ndevils00 never change, sugar muffin!

user19 so who has the pics of y/n climbing into the penalty box?

colecaufield YOU CALLED ME YOUR “LITTLE CABBAGE HEAD”

y/ndevils00 well yeah, but i said “JE T’AIME, mon petit tête de chou.”

colecaufield saying you love me does not make it better

y/ndevils00 yes it does?

colecaufield how?

y/ndevils00 because i said so?

colecaufield @/jackhughes take her home. i don’t want her in my country anymore

y/ndevils00 I WAS BORN HERE! YOU’RE AMERICAN!

john.marino97 i wish i could say i was shocked when i got to the penalty box and you were sitting on the floor, but nothing you do surprises me anymore

y/ndevils00 awww that’s so sweet!

john.marino97 that wasn’t a compliment

y/ndevils00 it’s okay to not act tough <3 you can compliment me

john.marino97 i’m beginning to worry you don’t know what compliments are

nicohischier i wasn’t worrying at all, but nice to know. it’s appreciated ❤️ love you

y/ndevils00 love you too! hey, i have a picture of you bent over, do you wanna see it?

nicohischier i take it back, please move back to canada

y/ndevils00 well that was mean :( you could’ve just said no :(

nicohischier fine, i’m sorry. no, thank you

y/ndevils00 okay! i just sent it to you!

nicohischier why do i bother?

user83 i would do anything to see Marino’s face when he walked into the penalty box and just saw y/n there waiting for him

y/ndevils00 it was a little like this: 🤨😐😑🙄!

jackhughes YOU don’t even feed me. i feed YOU!

y/ndevils00 that’s cause you make the money and i look pretty and make jokes!

jackhughes and you do such a good job!

y/ndevils00 thank you, i know!

jackhughes well that’s a bit conceited

y/ndevils00 you’re one to talk, mr. mirror ***

jackhughes THAT WAS FOR YOU AND YOU KNOW IT

y/ndevils00 IT WAS YOUR IDEA

jackhughes AND YOU LIKED IT

y/ndevils00 yeah, i did *insert debby ryan gif*

tofff73 Cat says i did indeed “slay tonight” ?? whatever that means

y/ndevils00 ask her to marry me

tofff73 she’s MY wife?

y/ndevils00 okay and? what, are you against love?

tofff73 no, i’m against you stealing my wife

y/ndevils00 you are no longer slaying tonight. you ran out of slay. you are flopping. you’re in your flop era.

tofff73 i kissed your boyfriend a few days ago and then got a hat trick, what did you do?

y/ndevils00 i did other things to my boyfriend and i’ll get a hat trick tonight

tofff73 you don’t even play hockey?

john.marino97 how are you so innocent? you’re 31

tofff73 @/john.marino97 i’m so lost

dawson1417 probably better if you keep it that way, dude

trevorzegras can’t believe you saw Cole before you saw me

y/ndevils00 not my fault we played the french before the quackies 🤷‍♀️ take it up with buttman

trevorzegras it’s *bettman

y/ndevils00 oh, i know

trevorzegras how do you still have a job?

y/ndevils00 nepotism

trevorzegras oh yeah

user68 this is the second time y/n has used this joke, WHO IS SHE A NEPO BABY OF?!

lhughes_06 you yelled at me

y/ndevils00 you knocked down my teddy bear

lhughes_06 I DIDNT MEAN TO! AND IT’S MY JOB!

y/ndevils00 WELL I WANT YOU TO SUCK AT YOUR JOB WHEN YOU PLAY AGAINST MY FAVORITE FAKE CANADIAN

_quinnhughes you said i was your favorite fake canadian!

y/ndevils00 @_quinnhughes and you are!

_quinnhughes you just said Cole is your favorite!

y/ndevils00 @_quinnhughes no i didn’t

_quinnhughes are you trying to gaslight me? when there’s literal proof?

y/ndevils00 @_quinnhughes no! (is it working?)

_quinnhughes yes, you are! (no)

y/ndevils00 @_quinnhughes (damnit)

[cozzzynook]

Rodimus not knowing he's sparked until he goes into labor and freaking out.

He didn’t have a clue he was sparked and its pure chaos.

Rodimus would be sitting on the bridge shifting uncomfortably in his chair until his shift was over.

Plagued with spark pains, tank bloating, spinal strut pain, stuttering vents and a sense of dread from the time he wakes that morning until his shift is over and he’s asking Megs to carry him back to his hab so he can rest.

That alone is enough to worry his co captain who takes him to his hab and waits until he’s back on the bridge to call Ratchet and Drift to inform them they should check on Rodimus.

Of course with Rodimus having spark issues they take it serious and try to leave earlier than usual but things pop up, emergencies happen and it’s not until they finish their shift are they able to rush and see if Rodimus is okay.

Do they walk into their hab to see Rodimus gripping the sheets on his knees while the other holds his tanks.

A thick puddle of energon and emergence fluids coating the floor and his lower half.

Modesty panels wide open to reveal an angry pulsing valve thats steadily leaking energon and fluid as his hips struggle with the painful pressure pressed against his insides thats wiggling and stuck.

Rodimus has scratch marks on his tanka from how tight he’s gripping himself and he knows by now whats happening.

They stand in shock as they hear Rodimus give out a loud and painful cry as he bears down and tries to push but the sparkling won’t budge and his spark starts to flicker.

They rush inside at the sight of Rodimus gushing out energon, he’s internally bleeding and its making its way out of his stretched forge canal. Ratchet knows immediately that this is bad and Drift is terrified because Rodimus is radiating pain so badly its effecting himself and Ratchet.

Ratchet can’t move Rodimus in this state but he can have Drift try to comfort Rodimus who is apologizing because he didn’t know and Drift is steadily telling him its okay.

Ratchet reaches inside to feel if he can take the sparkling out himself because Rodimus spark can’t handle all this turmoil and its making him worried.

So when he reaches inside and feels what he knows is a spoiler and some etchings on the protoform that belong to himself and Drift he knows why the sparkling is stuck.

Its not big, but it is tearing and cutting Rodimus from the inside while having wiggled itself into a literal jam.

“Alright kid, when I say relax your frame as much as you can you do it. I’m gonna pull them out and when I do, Drift you catch Rodimus and run like hell to the medbay. I’ll be right behind you.”

“You’re gonna be fine Rodimus, i promise.”

That didn’t stop Rodimus from crying harder because he knew Ratchet was scared and when Ratchet was scared, things were really really bad.

Still. He nodded.

drift held him and after a painful pulse, Rodimus relaxed the best he could feeling his optics dim and his spark flicker as his forge widened and Ratchet quickly pulled their sparkling free after a few moments.

He screamed so hard and loud his audials crashed and his spark jolted.

Drift caught him and ran him to the medbay with Ratchet right behind him as promised and was brought to the medbay with First Aid at the door waiting.

He only caught a glimpse of the wiggling, crying sparkling Ratchet was tenderly cradling.

Everything was numb and painful all at once and felt the world go dark as he watched his sparkling cry out to him.

When he woke, his chronometer stated he’d been asleep for two days.

Ratchet and Drift were cooing at their sparkling and he was on a heavy numbing agent that he was thankful for.

“Let me hold them.”

Of course they jumped at his voice before Ratchet gave their sparkling to Drift and he started checking him over.

Ratchet was not allowing him off berth rest for at least a month and while he was annoyed by it he understood.

His spark was still recovering from the trauma of emergence much like his tanks and frame were. The pain was still felt through the numbing agents but that all became a blur the moment he held their sparkling.

They nuzzled their helm against him, gripping tight with chubby little digits and he didn’t even realize he was crying until Drift wiped his tears away.

“A femme Roddi! We have a little femme!”

Drift was so excited, he was kissing his face plates all over while cooing at their little one while Ratchet was holding her other servo and nuzzling her helm, crying to himself.

“she was really inside me all this time? Oh my gosh,” he cried, “i didn’t..i didn’t know..fr-Ratch?! Is she alright?! I drank with her! I-fra- what if-”

“She’s fine kid,” his smile was genuine and open, “she’s as healthy as can be. Small. But healthy.”

His spark rhythm returned to normal and he relaxed.

He gazed down at her and asked, “whats her name?”

“We thought we should wait for you to online before naming her.”

“Really? I..i’m not good with names,” Rodimus laughed, “maybe you two name her and if I like it too, its a deal?”

It was agreed and after a couple suggestions they settled on a name.

“I like it,” Roddy whispered kissing her helm making her smile.

Rodimus giggled as their sparkling opened yellow optics that looked exactly like Drifts once did. Her spoiler a deep red that was richer than his own. She looked beautiful and the moment the name came from Drift and Ratchets lips together he knew that was it. That was the one.

“We’re so happy to meet you little one. Welcome to the galaxy,” he cried so hard from happiness that he almost couldn’t say it, “Carmine.”

[spreadwardiard]

Home is Where You Are p2

First part here

Summary: Megatronus comes home after a fight to his new home in Iacon, excited to reunite with his conjunx.

Megatronus was in a foul mood when he stepped off the transport platform and into the streets of lower Iacon. His trip back to Kaon hadn’t gone exactly as planned. He’d won his fight, of course, but the joy of victory felt hollow when combined with the rest of his visit. Just as he had expected, many of his followers were ill at ease over his relocation to Iacon, and they had made their displeasure known. 

It mattered little to them when he explained the political reasons for the change. They only saw it as him running off with his higher caste lover to live in luxury while they lamented with their scraps.  They were wrong, of course, but that didn’t stop them from asking questions and doubting his sincerity as their leader. It was a pain in his aft, but one he couldn’t afford to ignore. 

Their hab wasn’t even luxurious, especially by Iaconian standards.  It was in the lower levels, in a section of the city reserved for manual laborers. Its proximity to the docks meant that there was little peace. Shipments came in all throughout the cycle with little regard for the resident's recharge needs, and the ground shook periodically when the largest of transport trucks took their goods from the docks into central Iacon. Combine that with the relatively high crime rate in the area, and he may as well have been in a mid-tier neighborhood in Kaon. In Iacon, this was a slum. 

The few saving graces it offered were an affordable price, fast access to the transport station and the size of the habs available. Orion had refused to budge on that last issue. Megatronus was used to shoving his large frame into spaces too small for him, but Orion insisted on finding something they could both fit comfortably in. 

Megatronus rounded the corner and ex-vented heavily as their hab came into view. He wanted to force the foulness of his mood aside before he made it home. The last thing he wanted was for Orion to ask him what was wrong, especially when all he wanted to do was kiss the mech senseless and forget about his woes. He could think about them all tomorrow, hopefully after a sensual reunion with his conjunx and a well deserved recharge in his own berth. 

The thought finally brought a smile to his face as he punched in their lock code. There was absolutely nothing that would ruin the rest of this evening for him. He stepped inside, eager to greet his little archivist. 

He only got two steps past the door before his pedes were suddenly out from under him. Megatronus didn’t even have time to brace himself. His helm crashed back against the door and his aft hit the ground with a soft thud, cushioned only by the sound proofed padded tiles that lined the floor of the whole hab. 

The gladiator groaned and gritted his dentae together as the stars assaulting his optical inputs subsided. His would-be assassin lie scrunched up at his pedes: the custom-made rug bearing his movement’s logo that Orion had surprised him with as a homecoming gift when they had first moved into this place. The same rug that had been torturing him ever since they had put it on the blasted floor. 

Megatronus snatched the offending hunk of imported fabric in a rage, ready to rip it into a million tiny pieces. He didn’t know why the rug had it out for him. No one else had any problems walking over it. It was only he who it seemed to target with its mythical ability to take a mech to the floor. 

The soft, purple and black mesh seemed so unassuming in his servos… so easy to shred for its continued insults to his pride. But that would upset Orion… He in-vented deeply, and squeezed the rug in a momentary death grip before tossing it to the side. It wasn’t worth upsetting Orion over and ruining his first night back home. 

After hauling himself back up onto his pedes, he spared a glance back at the door, which had a brand-new helm shaped dent marring its otherwise pristine surface. Slag... He’d have to call someone to fix that before Soundwave saw it. He’d never hear the end of it if his spymaster knew he was still tripping over that fibrous death trap. 

Megatronus forced the thoughts from his mind. His war with the rug would resume another cycle. The lights were dimmed in their living area, and Orion was nowhere to be seen. It was late, he probably hadn’t waited up, which was disappointing, but understandable. At least he hadn’t been up to hear him slamming his helm into the door. 

He snorted at the thought. It would have been embarrassing for Orion to see him taken down by a rug. This was a small blessing, no matter how disappointing it was that he wouldn’t be having the reunion he’d fantasized about. This was fine. It just meant that the next morning would be that much more fun. 

He flicked the lights completely off in the living room before he turned down the hallway. Recharge sounded nice, now that he thought about it. The door opened for him, automatically, and he couldn’t help the smile that spread on his face as his optics settled on Orion Pax draped over the desk at the window, deep in recharge. 

It took only a glance to see that he had dozed off while looking over one of Megatronus’ upcoming speeches. His Archivist was ever dutiful to him and their cause. He should have expected to find him here, like this. 

Love wasn’t something that Megatronus was great at expressing. He wasn’t an overtly affectionate mech, and when he was, it came off more as possessive. He also wasn’t all that great at verbally expressing his more tender emotions. Orion made it seem natural and easy. Orion could turn the normal task of editing into a declaration of devotion without uttering a single glyph.

The best that he could do was a clumsy attempt at gentleness as he scooped his Conjunx out of the chair and into his arms, grimacing as Orion’s helm clanked softly against his chassis, before slipping him as carefully as he could onto the berth. Orion didn’t budge from his slumber, and Megatronus huffed a quiet chuckle at that. No one recharged deeper than Orion Pax. 

He was lucky. He could admit that. Everyone knew Orion deserved better, including himself. Some were brave enough to even say so to his face. Even though Orion Pax insisted that he was exactly where he wanted to be, Megatronus found it difficult to shrug off his insecurities regarding the matter. 

He rounded the berth, and dimmed the lights to the lowest setting before finally allowing himself to lie down beside his beloved. He pressed a single kiss to the crest of Orion’s helm before tucking him against his frame, the way he knew Orion liked. Megatronus had missed him more than he would be able to say out loud and judging by how Orion had instinctually nuzzled into him, he’d missed him too. 

It was good to be home.

[silverinkbottle]

Chapter 2:Titles and Tribulations

Summary: Sometimes moments are only fleeting. But the memories of them last forever.

A/N: Thanks for all the love on the last chapter! This one is a bit longer so please enjoy!

Chapter 1 Linked Below

Chapter 1: Oh, You

-> Chapter 3: Shopping Around

Titles and Tribulations

Well, the hotel seemed to be structurally sound as you peered up at the gleaming windows. A far cry from the pile of rubble that once cluttered the ground. Sighing under your breath, you raised your fist to rap on the gleaming wooden surface of the double doors. Your stoic expression shifted into surprise as your knock met bare air instead of solid wood. Followed by a piercing squeal of excitement as you found yourself dragged into the inside by hand first, feebly looking behind at the paperboys who ‘shared’ a shrug before running after you.

“Welcome to the brand NEW, Hazbin Hotel. We are so HAPPY to have our first NEW guest after our sudden refurbishment. Now as you can see-” 

It was all too easy to tune out the little Princess’s words while making the appropriate nods and hums as you followed her flourished gestures. Charlie Morningstar wasn’t what you expected, but at the same time it was. A strange dichotomy of impossible bubbliness against the rumored fierceness that lurked underneath her smile. Not like you could have gotten an interview with the poor bastards that had gone against her a week ago. 

“Oh, here is the statue of the bestest boy ever Dazzle! He was-”

Extracting your hand from her grip was like trying to scrape off slimy seaweed in the shallows. Yet, somehow you managed as you forced a polite smile on your face that seemed to dim in the brilliance of Charlie’s smile. 

“Lovely scenery, Miss Morningstar, but I am not-”

Another squeak of joy interrupted your speech as Charlies was peering around your skirts. To the huddled forms of the paperboys, their ears flat against their heads as if they could sense something about the Hellborne Princess. 

“Aren’t they adorable, these your kids- Look at their little buttons and vests. Just so-. Are..you alright?”

Her first question sent you into a coughing fit as you hastily waved off her concerns. Eyes watering as you managed the word ‘No’. It was impossible to protest as you found yourself ushered towards the bar and its’ equally grouchy but polished looking bartender.

“What can I get you? Aside from Charlie off your back, can’t help you there..”

“Gin. Tonic. Don’t you touch that.” Your last words were sent as a low hiss catching sight of a floppy ear peering around the bar front. Its paws trembling in excitement as the glass gin decanter glimmered in the lighting. 

“A little booze never hurt no one. Trust me, toots.” The other bar patron waggled his fingers at you. Angel Dust, wasn’t it? He was all but baiting the souls as he dangled a shot glass above their smaller forms.  The spider demon let out a yelp as small black holes materialized on their masks, eagerly drinking down the meager offer of liquor.

“Watch your pockets.” You retorted as you took another deep drink of your glass. Fingers tapping on the marble countertop as a timer. A telltale yelp came from their victim followed by the pair scurrying off their prize secured in their paws.

“Little bastards pickpocketed me,both of em. I must be loos’en my touch to not feel that.” Angel whined as you laughed into your glass. It made a hollow sound all too soon as there was a clink of ice. He was quick to scurry after them feebly chasing after the thieves. It was like trying to grab a shadow as the paperboys materialized their own ‘holes’ to hop in and out of utilizing the inner spaces of Purgatory. 

“I warned you. Can’t even give them pocket lint, any items bind them further to this reality. Makes them little kelptos. Can’t tell you how many pens I have lost from that unfortunate hab-” 

“FUCK.” Angel let out a yelp as he pulled back one of his arms, now bearing a fresh bite mark as he daringly stuck in hand in one of the tiny portals. Curious. He was far too curious as you withdrew your little black book from your pocket to add to your notes. It seemed to be a running theme of eavesdroppers as you sighed before lowering the book to allow Charlie a better look at it. At least she was too polite to rip it from your grasp.

“Angel Dust. Porn Star. Mafia ties? Power-” Charlie flushed over the word before sheepishly passing the book back over. 

“So, a little black book of secrets is it? Been a while since I have seen one of those.” Husker rasped before holding out his paw to flick through the book. His eyes widened as he too quickly passed over the book. 

“Are you some kinda journalist?” Husk growled with an edge of suspicion as you gave a wry smile. Something like that he was close enough. While Charlie, an apparent optimist clapped her hands together before once again taking your hands in her clutches. 

“Maybe you can do a piece of the hotel. For its grand reopening. Oh, oh, we can start with the introduction of the new parlor room. We even installed new stained glass windows that really make the ambiance pop. Oh, please say yes, it would be a perfect-”  

“Perfect time for her to leave. You mean, right darling Charlie?” Alastor’s less than pleased tone boomed over the room as all eyes watched the Radio Demon descend the stairs. Microphone in hand. As if it hadn’t been broken into two pieces like a match last time you saw it. No, this was entirely Alastor’s bravado instead of the mess that you met before.

“Better make me another drink, it seems.” You muttered under your breath as the faintest hint of smirk slid over your lips as Alastor’s gaze flickered from Charlie’s tight grip on your right hand, while your left slid protectively over the little black book on the bar. 

“Hold that thought, Husker.” Alastor snapped as the bartender’s scowl deepened before slamming the decanter of gin back on the bar. 

“Husker do this, Husker don’t do that. I have about had it with-” Husker’s grumbles were ignored by Alastor as he seemed to have grown a faint sliver of patience. An impressive feat if it wasn’t causing your glass to remain empty. Even the ice cubes were melting as you rattled the cool glass.

“Why should she leave? She’s a new guest.” Charlie protested as you chuckled at the thought. You, a Sinner looking for a chance of redemption. Perhaps, you should have tried to write funnies after all. Or perhaps the Princess of Hell had a strange bizarre sense of humor.

“Apologies Princess, I am afraid you have gotten the wrong impression of me.” You explained gently pulling your hand from hers as you tried to find the right words about the entire affair. It wasn’t like you had planned to move into the hotel to stir up the pot. Far from it.

“FOR THE LAST TIME I AM NOT YOUR SECRETARY. YOU CAN’T EXPECT ME TO WRITE DOWN YOUR THOUGHTS FROM LAST WEEK AND REMIND YOU OF THEM. CHARLIE, I CAN’T- A shrill rant was punctured by the ruffle of wings as a gray streak quickly took refuge behind the princess. Wings? A quick flicker through your notes as you could feel Alastor’s gaze burning into your hands with each whisper of the paper.

“Please don’t worry, Vaggie. I have a solution to your concerns.” You muttered as you slipped the book back into your pocket. 

“Charlie, sweetheart, please tell your girlfriend, a genius like me needs-”

“Every thought dictated back to him like a parrot. Yes, I know that sir. I am afraid I hear your voice in my dreams. Or should I call them nightmares. Who knows what sort of information you stuffed into that poor girl’s head.” You chirped lightly as you swept your way past Alastor. As if he was a mere tree amongst the woods. Dropping into the smallest of curtsy as Luicfer clapped in his hands together in an all too familiar gesture. Like father like daughter, you soon found yourself caught in his grip, a familiar hand around your waist as he ushered you back to the group.

A shell-shocked, wide eyed group as all you could manage was an almost shy wave as Lucifer began to sing your praises without a hint of awareness. 

“Everyone, may I present the newest staff member of the hotel. Well, my personal staff member. My ever diligent, steadfast and almost too prompt Secretary. It’s been my request that she take up quarters here.”

“Well, it was said work is a new kind of Hell. At least it will be a stylish one.” You deadpanned weakly as a burst of laughter broke the tension in the air. Your tail flicked angrily as Alastor wiped a tear from his eye as he managed to speak through his laughter.

“You. A Secretary. For HIM. You must be-”

Anger seized your heart as your tail thrashed about, your ears flat as venom dripped in your next words. 

“Fuck you. I wasn’t aware I needed my ex-husband’s permission to do my job. One that I am quite exceptional at.”

“HUSBAND?” A chorus of voices rang through the silent foyer as Husker let out a low whistle before thoughtfully pouring the gin into your abandoned glass. The alcohol’s blissful coolness did little to dampen your temper as another word left Alastor’s curled lips.

“Till death do us part. I would consider this a technicality.”

“Oh don’t start that-” Husker protested as you grabbed the almost empty decanter, hurling it at the infuriating radio demon. His words fatigued like this wasn’t the first spat between lovers he had witnessed behind the bar. The glass smashed against the far wall as Alastor easily stepped out of the weapon’s range. His smug expression didn’t last long as he stumbled out of the way a sudden switch blade aimed for his gut. A single furry arm reaching out furiously swinging as another portal aimed for his knees. Draining your glass with a single long drink, you were quick to join the fray. The weapon of choice is a feathered quill, its sharp dripping crimson as Alastor fell into step with your challenge. A macabre dance of sorts as Alastor dipped into a mocking bow, ears tucking back to narrowly miss shining glint of metal.

“Fuck you. You broke those vows a LONG time AGO.”You snarled as you could feel anger begin to court something you hadn’t felt in years. Sentiment.  The cool burn of the fucking ring still on your finger, like a vice trapping the flesh of a forgotten life, but would ruin you to amputate. A string tying to a much happier time. At least one with glimpses of the emotion.

Alastor’s hand caught your wrist with ease as you snarled when he removed the silken glove from your left hand, revealing the accursed piece of brass. A cheap little thing, but it once meant the world to some stupid woman. Alastor’s eyes widened for the briefest second as if he hadn’t thought that his mocking words from earlier held any weight. Or was it because he hadn’t expected your free hand to strike him across the face.

“I didn’t ASK your PERMISSION. I DON’T FUCKING NEED IT. I NEVER DID.” Your voice was a low hiss now as your hand drifted to your throat. Black ink was slowly spreading across the crisp collar in a slow haze as splotches seeped through here and there on your dress. Ink oozed across the floor like a slow haze as Angel hastily scurried up onto the couch away from the ooze. The slippery forms of hands reached out from the ooze like a drowning man trying to breach the surface, their stained hands gripping your ankles. Alastor kicked at far more hostile hands, their passive grasp turning into sharp claws eager to sink into flesh.

“So. You made some new associates, kit. As did I”

“ALASTOR, ENOUGH.” Charlie’s voice broke through the haze of violence as you bit back your retort under Lucifer’s cool glare. The ink dissipated, but the trembling of your form didn’t. Control was something you always lacked when your temper sparked. It was your fatal flaw, it made you reckless. It scorched you from the inside out as your hands curled around yourself protectively, fighting the urge to gag as if each breath provoked another splattering of ink from the depths of your throat. 

“Breathe.” Lucifer muttered as he offered you a spare handkerchief. It was almost a shame to see the dark liquid greedily seep into the silk cloth like a drunk to drink. Angel was quick to pull up alongside you with a waste basket as you retched further ink into the bin.

“Had enough experience with the gutter to know the “oh fuck I am gonna hurl face”. Angel teased as you glared up at him. Managing only the faintest laugh as Angel winked cheekily at you.

“Well, that wasn’t the worst introduction to the hotel.” Charlie chimed weakly trying to lighten the mood as she stood in front of Alastor. Protecting you from him? Or was it the other way around. Or perhaps it was to spare the risk of another massive clean-up as an excited giggle lit up the room. A maid skittered about the room mop in hand as she invasively wiped a wet cloth over your face before darting off to the next puddle.

“Thank you, Niffty. We would be lost without you.” Lucifer mused as the maid gave a quick salute to the compliment. 

“I mean I did do the stabbing of the nasty big bug” Niffty said in a sing-song voice as you connected the words. This, this was the Sinner that managed to kill the first Man?

“Oh, now I can see why you were so out of sorts.” You sneered as there was that telltale twitch of Alastor’s left eye.

“Fuck you.”

“Oh never again darling.” 

“Well, now that this little reunion is settled. I do hope your files are in order. We have A LOT to cover.” Lucifer announced with a dramatic sigh. It was all false theatrics, you knew likely better than anyone of the renewed passion that had been lit in the King of Hell. The management of the realm itself, to remind the Sinners that he was in charge for a reason. With or without the rumors surrounding his prestige.

“Of course. Sir.” You answered flatly as you snapped your fingers once more. It was like watching a small parade of rabbits as the tiny creatures streamed into the hotel door. Needing little direction as Lucifer’s words began flowing like a river. Your pen dancing over the pages in furious shorthand. Allowing yourself to fall into the intoxicating haze of work into the long hours of the night.

“Now I think it’s time to call it a night. It was quite an eventful day for you.”

The words skittered over the page without a thought as your tired eyes read over them. It wasn’t diction, no, it was the start of a conversation. Lucifer observing you through steepled fingers as you put the finishing punctuation with a loud clack of the keys. Taking extra time to carefully remove the delicate paper from the roller, you wistfully blew over the damp ink. Ignoring the click of Lucifer’s tongue as he knew your procrastination tactics. He couldn’t exactly scold you for being considerate now could he.

“It won’t be a problem. It’s in the-” You began as Lucifer waved you over to the seat in front of his desk.  Now you were feeling like some school girl about to be lectured by the teacher as you slid into the seat with a guarded expression.

“I wouldn’t mind it being a problem. Smug prick could use another reminder of his standing. As powerful as he is, he is still a Sinner. Once human with an apparent speck of a heart that can be rattled it would seem. Especially if you know how to stab at the soft parts.” Lucifer mused with a raised brow.

“Are you asking me to kill Alastor, sir. I wouldn’t be against throttling him in his sleep tonight.” You deadpanned as your fingers twitched at the thought. 

“No. No. A bit of emotional torment is just dessert for me. Besides, I think Charlie would be a bit put out if it came to that. She was already so disappointed with the misunderstanding about a new Guest. Much less I had to talk her down from giving you a rousing speech after your little spat with him.”

You cringed at the imaginary conversation. You could all but see the wide-eyed princess flailing over the dramatics of love and how it’s worth fighting for. Possibly with an extra flair of confetti and trying to ply into a bit of romantic history. An impossible conversational trap that would make flaying feel preferable.

“I appreciate that, sir.” You muttered gratefully as Lucifer chuckled at your pained expression. However, you couldn’t help but feel like this was another trap when the devil’s expression turned from thoughtful to serious.

“I need you here. Charlie needs him here for some inane reason. Don’t push him too far, but don’t let him take advantage of you either. That’s a direct order. Now, off you go, we have plenty of nights to burn the midnight oil on.” Lucifer tutted before turning his chair, his own version of dismissal as you quietly left the study.

Your steps were aimless but seemed impossibly loud in the massive corridors of the hotel. Pale blue lighting drifting through the glass windows. As if it was a true moon outside instead of an endless haze of neon in the Pentagram below.  What would the fireflies look like here? Like some bastardized version of the one’s from Earth, perhaps emitting fire balls instead of a soft glow.  Fireflies dancing over the low tides of some forgotten lake as the early morning fog rolled in soon to be burned away by the rising sun.

“Oh, I know that look. Means it's time for a drink.” A hoarse voice broke you from your thoughts as you sheepishly ducked your head at the knowing words. It was almost embarrassing for Sinners to be caught lost in their memories from before, much to remember them in such vivid details. For many, regardless of age, their memories would come for them in their dreams. Sinners were meant to be punished, dreams ripping apart by the seams into their worst nightmares.  Or callous reminders of their sins amplified by tenfold to send them bolting upright in their beds.

“Afraid that won’t help me much tonight. Today was a bit..excessive” You admitted softly as Husk snorted at your shoddy attempt of downplaying the chaos of the day. The cat demon’s wings ruffled as the pregnant pause filled the space. You could only imagine the questions that were burning to be asked. Ones that you would loath to answer without a bit of sleep.

“So, how did-”

“How many broads do you take on midnight strolls, Whiskers. Hurting my feelings here. I am only a bit late..” 

Your luck may have been changing as Angel’s arrival easily caught Husk’s attention. Or more so, Angel demanded it as he stood behind the shorter demon with a knowing look. A moonlight stroll? You quickly covered your faint laugh with your hand as Husk’s gaze narrowed displeased. 

“A mere accident. Enjoy your night.” You mused as the pair exchanged a quick glance. It seemed they were just as eager to escape the conversation as you were.  The faintest notes of jazz punctured the silence as Husk rolled his eyes in annoyance.

“Course, he is still in a prickly mood..” Husk growled 

Alastor and jazz was like watching the aftermath of a storm. Sometimes it was gentle lull ushering away dark clouds and foul weather. Other times it was the preamble to things to come as the restless notes went on into the early hours of the morning. 

“Ah, he’ll get over it if someone puts him-” Angel teased with a wink as you could feel your face begin to burn like a coal over the open fire.

“Have a good night.” Your words cut over the suggestive tone, perhaps too abruptly as the pair's laughter echoed after your footsteps. As if running away from the mere implication wouldn’t let your mind dance over the words. Your nails dug into the skin of your palms as you could almost taste the burn of rye. The ghostly touch on the back of your neck as you ran your hand over your face. As if that would wipe away the memories starting to prickle in the back of your mind. 

“Fuck.” You hissed as you realized your distracted steps had led you even closer to the source of the sound. Like the luring lull of a siren as there was a quiet rumble of a trumpet that sent goosebumps over your skin. All that was missing was the sweet scent of tobacco and low rumble of conversation. You startled backward onto the floor as the door slammed open at the crescendo of the song.

“Well, this is a surprise, do come in.” Alastor muttered as you silently cursed any entity for putting you in this position. Your dress slid up to above your knees, revealing the torn and ripped stockings beneath it as you hastily smoothed it back down. Alastor’s head tilting as he follows your hands up to your murderous expression before smiling that smug infuriating smile. 

“A leopard can’t change its spots. An intriguing idea isn’t it?” Alastor mused as he lazily waved to the free chair next to the fireplace. The nostalgic force barreled through your skull as your nails sank into the soft fabric of the arm rest. Everything about the room did. The pale tone of greens of the wallpaper, its edges fraying with its deceiving quality. The gentle crackle of the fire tinted by the low notes of jazz. Even the curious restless tap of Alastor’s fingers as he waited to hear your retort. 

“It can if the spots are painted on by another..” You huffed as you forced yourself to not fidget under his keen gaze. Like he was wanting to peel you open like a bit of wrapping paper over a shoddy gift. 

“But what sort of paints would the King of Hell use?” 

“Ones that I bought. I refuse to compromise on that.” 

“Well, even paint begins to fade. Funny how that happens.”

“Perhaps I should use ink instead. That continues to stain.”

The words were barbed and pointed as neither side was willing to back down. Did he really think you all but threw yourself at Lucifer’s feet without a second thought? Clinging to the nearest chance to pull yourself out from torment and torture. For the minute of peace in exchange for blistered fingers and reddened palms. 

“I am surprised you can’t see the stain on your hands. Seems like it was all over earlier.” Alastor quipped as you looked down at your hands. Still covered by the linen gloves as if that could conceal the blood on them. The dark sticky residue that once shown crimson, now tainted every single stroke of your pen.

“There are far worse reminders of our mistakes.” You nudged one side of your face, forcing it into a half smile as Alastor blinked once, but said nothing. You weren’t that blind to the fact that he was holding his cards close to the chest. Not willing to let the smallest risk of letting himself slip like he did before in the ruins of the radio station.

“Now let’s not dwell on the past.” Alastor proposed as you snorted at the clear diversion. There was a quick rattle of tea cups and the gentle floral notes of chamomile tea waiting to be poured within a blink of the eye. The hot liquid tasted slightly metallic on your tongue as you queried a brow but said nothing.  The faint chime of the cup hitting the saucer was all too loud in the room.

“You seem..better.” Hesitation in your voice as if cautiously approaching an injured animal. A single slow blink of Alastor’s eyes was a silent warning. Yet you couldn’t help but brooch the topic. 

“I am right as rain, my dear. Why wouldn’t I be?” Alastor hummed as you clicked your tongue in disapproval. Lying, he was lying to you. As if you weren’t the one that stumbled upon his little fit days prior. The obvious injuries inflicted on him by otherworldly forces, the faint twitch in his left arm when your gaze settled on it.

Now it was like falling back into familiar motions as your feet moved on their own accord to kneel next down to his chair. Your fingers diligently undoing the cuffed sleeve with a single snap of a button. Sharp nails curled under your chin forcing your focus from the fabric to Alastor. Less than impressed as you could feel your heartbeat thud a little bit faster from the malevolence of his ridgid form.

“Don’t act like a child.” You snipped as Alastor’s glare could have burnt into your soul. Well, if it still existed as you defiantly rolled up the fabric with a small hiss under your breath. Tendon and viscera was feebly trying to keep itself together by Alastor’s will. If infection ever existed in Hell, it would have to look like this at least it didn’t smell like rot.

“Pleased with yourself?” Alastor snapped coldly before pulling his arm away with a defiant snap of the button cuff. It was a mere glance but he was acting like you had proposed the idea of amputating the limb entirely. Now it was becoming nostalgic as a slow smirk spread across your lips as you leaned down closer to him. Your hands splayed comfortably over the top of the chair. There was a twitch in Alastor’s smile as you could all but see the same memories begin to play out.

“Still stubborn?”

“Always.” Alastor teased as his fingers sprawled over the length of your throat. Feeling your pulse underneath it. He was cheating in this little game of wills as a low hiss curled in your throat as his smile widened daring you to make the next move.

Any and all tension fled the room like a dog with its tail between its legs as the room’s door slammed open. A wide eyed and jittery Lucifer all but barged in without a single hint of volume regulation. A weary looking paperboy skittered after him with a blocky paper in its hand bearing the single word.

‘Sorry.’

“Cancel all my appointments tomorrow and fetch the coffee. I need to-”

Lucifer’s eyes went as a smirk slid over his snake-like features. His expression the picture of innocence as if he didn’t barge into the intimate moment. Hands tucked into his suit pockets as he slammed the final nail in the coffin for any chance of redemption. 

“Am I interrupting something?” Smug, amused notes that made you want to crawl into a hole and be buried alive.

“No.”

“Yes.”

Your answer came first in a rushed hiss as you quickly stood up to grab the troublesome rabbit by its ears as it frantically scribbled on its scrap of paper to explain the situation. That it had attempted to lead away your boss, but he just got this odd look when he heard the jazz. Please watch the ears. The excuses made your grip all the tighter as the little creature squealed in protest as it was thrown out into the hallway. 

While Alastor’s ‘No’ was far less pleased as the Devil was taking insurmountable delight in the situation. He smoothed out the rumpled edge of the sleeve with little ceremony as Lucifer seemed almost impatient for his next words. It was difficult to cover your laughter as the words never came, only the clatter of china and a loud sip of tea. 

“Now, before I fetch that coffee. What is the issue?” You huffed as you snapped your fingers together allowing your quill the float aimlessly around you. Lucifer spun on his heel before grabbing you by the wrist with a bright smile

“I want to redecorate my office. It’s looking a bit..drab. That means measuring, shopping and all the other joys of furnishing. Now let’s hop to it. We only have a few hours till morning, moonlight is wasting away as we speak. Since I wasn’t interrupting anything..” Lucifer declared as he wrapped his arm around your waist, all but ushering you from the room without a single second to spare.

You made sure to burn the coffee and watched with immense pleasure in seeing him choke it down.