#had a really hard time finding decent quality video online

[saint-miroir]

[system-of-a-feather]

Do you have any tips on trying to self learn martial arts? I was looking specifically at Muay Thai, because it uses elbows and knees, but literally anything is good, I just have no clue where to start.

-Riley

Muay Thai is one of my favorites as stated before so great choice honestly. The thing with Muay Thai though is that a lot of the strikes do best when you can actually strike something as a lot of the strikes use a lot of momentum, and some of the fancier kicks can really be hard to preform in a shadow boxing manner due to how you have to move - so self learning Muay Thai will likely hit a wall at a certain point unless you have a sparing partner, a kick shield set up, or a good heavy punching bag since having that physical contact and grounded weighted "opponent" is caked into some of the moves.

With that being said, a lot of the core fundamentals and body shit for Muay Thai is more than still possible to practice at home without even having a bag or any target other than a good and proper wall (and light switch if you wanna have fun with it)

For example, a lot of Muay Thai moves and basics comes from the general stance (videos below) and the general way to stand while kicking and blocking as - if you didn't know - kicking often puts you on one leg and there is a form of balance and control that needs to be learned to get any of the kicks landing solidly.

For that in particular, most people would learn the basic stance and basic theory of how to stand and kick from someone else experienced (usually in person, but you can definitely find it online) and then usually one of the tips for people struggling is to go home find a wall and lift your leg up and tap the wall with your toes before bring it back. You could also learn the theory of the jab kick and do that specifically, but if you are learning the balance, so much as just using one leg to touch the wall is a good place to start. A particularly fun but "totally not recommended childish" thing is to do this exact thing, but to flick a light switch on and off. It'd piss off any home owner and you dont want to *kick* it on and off, but it is really good for getting that one legged balance and foot dexterity while feeling like a stupid child about it.

Once you get the general balance down, itd look into basic foot work (helps with fluidity and masking tells, this is something you should work on chronically though if you are dedicated), the jab / push kick (for distancing), low roundhouse, and blocking with the legs from some of the dedicated youtube stuff.

Additionally, if you have a friend that either is a masochist that trusts you, you can also run through the motions of strikes and keep the force to like 5% and / or pull back / pull the kicks and not actually strike them, but I would not recommend that to newbies or people without martial arts training since kicks, particularly high momentum driven ones like round houses, can be hard to control if you aren't confident and used to them.

I'm shocked we havent gotten the police called on us for the amount of times we just casually start a kick or punch or strike at our fiance but either not actually hitting him or stopping and then just tapping him playfully.

Also, if you do have a friend that would also be interested, you could always benefit massively by both just getting decent quality shin guards and actually sparing because sparring practice is one of the best ways to learn practical Muay Thai and it makes me kinda sad we only had time to go to a few of the sparring sessions.

I don't follow as much Muay Thai stuff on youtube as much cause I'm a Wing Chun Primary Simp and I'm currently focusing on expanding Wing Chun skills and repertoire but some of the links below I generally skimmed seemed decent starting introduction stuff and the channels - if you like them - probably have more in depth explanations for things than I could put in a single text post.

This first one looks good, it is a bit heavy so I wouldn't suggest all of this in one day and it is a lot for one time but it seems a good brief coverage of a lot of things you could practice.

The second one seems less in depth in the explanations on how to do things, but it seems more beginner friendly in terms of pacing and information.

That being said for both of these I only skimmed them so I might be wrong.

-XIV

[yelenassecretlover]

youtuber au hcs [sfw] pt 2

anime: attack on titan

characters: Erwin, Hange

a/n: these are streamer heavy hcs but they’re also youtuber’s, I’ll slowly elaborate on this au more in the future lol

Erwin:

Because he radiates such boomer energy when it comes to technology, people are completely caught by surprise when they find out he streams? And not only does he stream, he streams his reactions to current internet phenomena. He is very aware of online spaces…quite shocking really

But don't be too proud of him, he doesn’t know shit about hardware...or software really. His partner set his whole thing up for him, without them he wouldn't even know where to begin on turning on his camera…..

He finds all his clips on his own. Occasionally streams a game when Levi,Miche or Hange request to collab with him

His takes are very factually based, and very informative to watch, even the most silliest videos you can learn from him

He isn’t mega popular but he makes a decent living and is fairly known. It's not about the quantity of fans but rather quality, although I guess that phrase in this case doesn’t match up. Commentary streamers/channels have a rep for shitty fan bases and Erwin isn’t any different (his audience is much more tame compared to others but his partner still hates them), but he punishes his audience often for their antics…so that’s something?

“ I’m sorry sweetheart I can't really control them…but i'll do something about it don't get mad at me please”

Although in tune with what’s a hot topic in the online space….doesn’t understand the online lingo and is often using urban dictionary but even that confuses him

“ Simpin for…Dilf Erwin…hmmmmm I’m not sure what that means but thanks?”

But don't worry his mutuals roast the shit out of him in the discord but eventually explain the terms to him

Very organized creator, always uploads when they say they will, you can rely on him for content

A white man with a semi wealthy background, he doesn’t come from need but even so he still speaks on social issues and is very passionate and educated about them…..some would call him a woke king?

Is strongly against creators dating fans, so sorry to all his fangirls ain’t gonna happen

But does love taking pictures and videos with fans, he always stops for them (annoying to no end his partner who wants to get anywhere at a reasonable time)

Hange:

WAS RAISED BY THE INTERNET

Went through a sonic and nightcore phase 0-0

They started streaming during college but took it a bit more serious after when they were finally free from all their studies and had the time to do so

Worked as a waiter while they slowly built their audience over the years, and eventually started working as a lab analyst ( works and streams, they enjoy their job so even if they’re making more money streaming they’ll continue at their little lab)

Calls their fans their little experiments gone wrong. If you couldn’t guess their channels aesthetic revolves around being a mad scientist

They wear a lab coat every stream

Do live experiments during their streams, which because its live they can’t edit as they would a normal youtube video and shit goes wrong……almost every time

You literally will never know when they will post, so disorganized. It can be daily or you’ll go months without seeing content from them. But it's not that they’re busy they’re recording so much content it's just a lot of it get scrapped and they have to start all over

“ Guys from now on I will have weekly uploads on Thursday see you then…..hopefully” (you most definitely did not see them then)

Although the majority of their content is educational, they sometimes stream games. Usually with their online mutuals, they bring this chaotic energy to the streams that no one else has quite mastered at imitating

Is not a hermit, leaves their house quite often so if you live in the city you’ll mostly likely spot them, loves taking pictures with fans ( also has a really hard time saying no to them consequently interfering with their ability to be on time to places)

Their coworkers know they’re a celebrity in the online world but they don't really understand it.

On that note, they are completely different in their irl job. Very serious with their work almost unrecognizable to their online persona

[max--phillips]

I have a question but if u don't have the answer then u don't- Like you're not obligated to answer.

Okay so. I'm overweight. And i would like to lose a few pounds but I've never been good with like motivating myself to lose weight. The only time i did it was for my high school prom where i got the dress i wanted months later and it didn't fit and i lost idk how many pounds so i could fit in the dress and that was what motivated me to do it. (The dress fit me btw so i was fine)

I've been having fun with having a new style (of clothing) that's not like jeans and a marvel shirt and I've been toying around with colorful sweatpants/flowy pants that are not jeans, crop tops, dresses. But it's also HARD. to find cute cheap plus size clothing where i live. I swear there's like two stores at my nearest mall that sells cheap plus size clothing and not all of it it's my style.

I would like to lose weight to fit into better clothes but i feel like not even that is motivating enough for me to actually lose some pounds.

I was also starting to love myself how i am and i think that's what has stopped me a little. but i do KNOW that I'm overweight. And it doesn't help I'm 5'1" weighting on almost 220 pounds. So imagine that. Also I'm eating like crazy. Like i have eating anxiety or however it's called and sometimes i go to sleep late (for me) at like 10-11pm and what i snack on before going to sleep is either a piece of ham or cheese. Or both.

I don't believe i can afford a trainer or go to a gym. I had started to walk around my neighbourhood a few weeks ago but then i stopped and now I'm thinking of doing it again but like yeah. It's hard to motivate myself to lose some pounds.

Honestly, I might not be the best person on the planet to ask this just because I personally have no intention of losing weight on purpose myself? However, I will do my best :0!

First off, regarding the clothes thing: online shopping is your friend. Just make sure that whoever you’re shopping with has a good return/exchange policy. You might have decent luck with a subscription box; I’ve been using StitchFix for about a year now and I’m really impressed with them, though they can run a bit pricey.

Motivating yourself to do anything can be difficult, I get it. I have trouble motivating myself to do Many things in my day to day life. But here’s what I can suggest: technology is your friend, and if you can create new habits, do it. Set a reminder on your phone for the same time every day to take a walk. There are plenty of YouTube videos with workouts you can use, too, depending on what you want to do. But just get in the habit of setting aside some time every day to do that thing. That’ll do wonders for you.

Acceptance is good! And you can accept and love your body while still having goals to make yourself stronger, or make yourself a bit more active, or work on your resting heart rate. Maybe that’s a good way to look at it: stop thinking about what you want to do as losing weight, and start looking at it as wanting to help yourself be healthier. Weight doesn’t indicate health. It just doesn’t. In fact, muscle weighs more than fat tissue. Also BMI is a hoax. So, maybe instead of setting weight loss goals, you set goals like… being able to lift a certain amount of weight, being able to walk so many miles, being able to do a certain yoga pose.

As for the eating. I 1000% relate to this. I loooOoOve snacking. I love FOOD. Aaaand I’m known to stress bake. But, one thing I’ve learned is that it’s really about quality over quantity. Honestly, ham and/or cheese is a pretty good snack. You got protein in there! (Also, the whole thing about fat in food being bad for you is a myth. It’s fine. Protein and fat are your friends. It’s when you mix simple/processed carbohydrates with fat that gets you.) Personally, I eat a FUCKTON of pasta and I probably should stop. I don’t eat a lot of vegetables. But I’m sure if I like, cut down on the pasta and added a salad or something?? That would probably be better for me. So, switch up what you’re eating, maybe. I know it’s a lot cheaper to eat food that isn’t so great for you (look at me and my tuna helper dinner right now fjgjdbfjsbsj), but let me tell you what: frozen vegetables are cheap as fuck, and stir fry is Wicked Easy and super delicious. Veggies, protein, and some rice? Pretty good meal!

That’s really all I can think of right now, but if other folks wanna chime in that’d be cool :0! Ultimately don’t be too hard on yourself, you’re perfect as you are and i know you’ll figure it out one way or another 💖

[the-hidden-writer]

An Odd Family Tree

A series of snippets from the lives of the FitzSimmons family, set post 7x13. Also, the series of events that lead up to the birth of their grandson.

Available to read on AO3 and FF.net.

Comments make my day!

Epilogue (1)

.Q.000000073.FS.M. D_01.15.1985_2153. STATUS:[Online] [communication_input]

“So, um, hi. It’s me. This is attempt seventy-three at getting this stupid thing to work, blah blah blah, etcetera. I, uh… miss you, wish you were here, all the usual stuff. Love you.”

“Maybe you should, perhaps, at least consider giving up? This is, as you said, the seventy-third attempt at a successful communication, and since it is taking up a considerable portion of your time-”

“No. No way. I’m not gonna give up now. I mean, you helped me build it! You’re seriously gonna let all that hard work go to waste?”

“That was not what I was implying. You could, instead, view the problem from a different angle.”

“Which angle, Enoch?! You think I haven’t done that already?! This stupid machine already has too many damn angles!”

“If you are counting the inner components then there are approximately-”

“Yeah, didn’t mean that literally buddy. But I guess you’re right. Like normal. Ugh... I kinda wish I’d properly thought about this before I- wait, did you hear that?”

“Hear what exactly?”

“D- there! That beeping noise. You heard that, right? I’m not just going insane?”

“I have noticed that you display multiple symptoms of psy-”

“Hold on, it’s still online!”

“Oh. It is.”

“It- It’s transmitting fine, recording smoothly, sound quality’s decent so remind me to fix that but… it’s working. It’s actually working!”

“Well done. But I do have to warn you that this technology should not exist on Earth in this time period.”

“Yeah yeah, whatever. Right, Enoch, I’m gonna need you to get out of here. This beautiful thing is finally working and I kinda wanna use it before it blows up or something.”

“Of course.”

“Uh… in private? Alone?”

“Oh, I understand. You wish to record your message alone. Without me. In that case, I will take your leave, Director Shaw.”

“See you, buddy. Right. Now I just gotta press thi-”

COMMUNICATION_TERMINATED_

~-.-~

.Q.000000074.FS.M. D_01.15.1985_2157. STATUS:[Online] [communication_input]

“Um… I… *ahem* This is a message for Leopold Fitz and Jemma Simmons. It’s a for-their-ears-only sort of thing, so if you’re not either of them then… uh… stop listening? No! Actually, if you’re not Leopold Fitz or Jemma Simmons, make sure this message gets to them. Please.”

“...I’m guessing this is Fitz or Simmons listening now. Hopefully both. Well, uh… it’s me! It’s Deke! I can’t believe I finally got this thing to work, haha. Uh… yeah.”

“So… you’re probably wondering what’s going on over here. SHIELD got blown up and- oh yeah, you guys were here for that. Or Nana was I think. It’s been a few years, I can’t remember exactly. Gotta adapt, y’know?”

“Speaking of! The second you guys left I might’ve accidentally become director of SHIELD. Which wasn’t my fault! I was nominated! Besides, I don’t know what was supposed to happen so…”

“Right, how am I sending this message. Funny story, actually. A few months after you guys left, Enoch turned up at my mansion and casually asked if he could murder me. Not our Enoch, by the way, this timeline’s Enoch. And he only wanted to kill me because he said I was this huge anomaly in the fabric of the universe and I could potentially doom humanity by just being here. Which sounds kind of dramatic, but nothing’s happened so far so I’m guessing we’re in the clear.”

“Basically, I managed to convince him that I was a good guy. I told him everything that happened and showed him my scars and everything to get him to believe me. And he did… eventually. He even helped me to build this quantum processor. Since this side is working now, I’m guessing it’ll work on the other end too. I’ve set it up to be like a mailbox that picks up anything that’s sent from the other end, so you won’t have to do the DNA-gene-splitting thing that I had to do to make sure it found you. You’re welcome.”

“It’s only audio for now. The 80s are great, but the technology sucks. And if we wanted to record video then I wouldn’t be able to buy supplies without getting asked about it. Equipment is expensive. Who knew. I’ll try and figure out at least how to send an image because I bet you’re missing my beautiful face.”

“That was the other thing: I miss you guys. It’s strange… I’ve spent most of my life on the Lighthouse and I knew a whole bunch of people there. Then when I came with you guys, sure it felt weird with them not being there, but I never really missed them. Probably because they came from that place.”

“But I miss you every day. Literally, every single day. And I love you. People look up to me here, but I don’t exactly have any family. I’ve got the Deke Squad, I guess, but they’re a different type of family. Not like you two.”

“So um, please send something back whenever you get this. I’ve set it so whenever you send something back, it’ll arrive here straight after I send the message you last listened to. I feel like I’m a time travel master now.”

“So I guess I’ll just… wait here. For your reply. Or just any sort of confirmation that you got this message. I’ll try and send you both a message at least once a week but it’d be great to get something back. I’m looking forward to hearing your voices.”

COMMUNICATION_TERMINATED_

~-.-~

.Q.000000079.FS.M. D_02.15.1985_1623. STATUS:[Online] [communication_input]

“Hey Nana and Bobo, it’s me again. Here’s the thing- it’s been a month. It’s been a whole month which is making me think that it’s something on my end. I’ll try and find the problem and fix it since I’d hate for your messages to get lost in that weird void between me and you.”

“But, if I’m gonna be honest, I realised that I don’t actually have any way of knowing if you guys made it back or not. Heck, I don’t even know if you managed to stop the chronicoms. And since I thought of that, I really can’t stop thinking about it, and it would really help if you could just let me know. Doesn’t have to be a whole message, just a yes or a no would do. You could even shout at me and I’d celebrate.”

“Seriously, if you’re all dead then… then I’m the only one alive. Again. I know I’m like 40 years behind you anyway, but it feels like the Lighthouse all over again! I got brought back from that and I felt like I’d cheated the system. Like- Like I didn’t belong, and I got out fine while everyone else stayed there and still had to suffer whatever’s going on up there. And this time I cheated because I’m the one who offered to stay behind and so I’m alive again while you’re all dead. I should’ve let Sousa do it, at least then I could’ve died with you.”

“No, no. You might be alive. You’re probably alive. I’m the one who’s… just send me something back. Please.”

COMMUNICATION_TERMINATED_

~-.-~

.Q.000000127.FS.M. D_04.13.1985_1829. STATUS:[Online] [communication_input]

“Nana, you won’t believe who invited me to a party! Pegs did! She was like, hey, I need you to be a distraction, you’re coming with me. Which is awesome because it’s like the first time she didn’t insult me in a sentence! Yeah… out loud that sounds kinda sad. But it means a lot to me, and I’m pretty sure you were a fan of Pegs or something? Yeah, I’m pretty sure.”

“Anyway, so, we went to this party and she said that since SHIELD is safe enough to be publicly known again I’d need to meet some guy that would help with finances. So we’re at this party, and Pegs takes me up to meet the guy. I promise, all I did was introduce myself (I was actually trying really hard to be serious and polite) and I asked his name and Peggy lost it. She literally almost fell onto the floor, she was laughing that hard. Yup, you heard me right. Peggy Carter. Laughing.”

“The guy, Harry I think his name was? No, Howard. Yeah, Howard was his name. So this Howard guy looks super offended and asked me if I knew who he was, and I said no because I honestly didn’t, and then Pegs offered to buy me a drink. I know! And she didn’t even yell at me for calling her Pegs!”

“So yeah, that happened. Since then she’s been smiling at me? I don’t know what I did, so I thought I’d throw it to you two to see if you had any ideas. You can boast to your friends that your grandson charmed over the great Peggy Carter.”

COMMUNICATION_TERMINATED_

~-.-~

.Q.000001032.FS.M. D_07.12.1988_2306. STATUS:[Online] [communication_input]

“Hey Bobo, hey Nana. I’m kinda tired so I’ll keep it short today. The Deke Squad got an award today. It’s funny, I was so busy with SHIELD that I’d forgotten that we had that many fans.”

“Having a double life sounds fun, but trust me it’s hard. Ha.”

COMMUNICATION_TERMINATED_

~-.-~

.Q.000001051.FS.M. D_10.22.1988_0642. STATUS:[Online] [communication_input]

“I finally finished my first original song! Are you proud of me?”

“Since we won that award, every night I’ve been having visions of Bobo shouting my head off that all I do is steal stuff. So since I’ve been messing with music for so many years, I figured, how hard can it be?”

“...It’s very hard. But! It’s completed, and it feels good that I can at least announce that to someone. Even if those someones can’t answer me back. But that’s fine.”

“The song’s called Alya, and it’s all about family. That was my Mom’s name, by the way. Alya. I can’t remember if I ever told you that.”

“If you want songs about you, then you’ll have to let me know, okay? Cool.”

COMMUNICATION_TERMINATED_

~-.-~

.Q.000001132.FS.M. D_11.25.1989_1903. STATUS:[Online] [communication_input]

“So, um… Hydra attacked. Big time. We beat them in the end, but we lost a whole bunch of agents. Joe was only nineteen and he told me I was his hero. They shot him in the head, I had to identify his body, and I... And that’s… that’s on me.”

“If only I’d taken that shot when Daisy told me to. I could’ve killed Freddy and none of this would’ve happened. I practically killed all those agents and I… Sorry. You don’t wanna hear this kinda stuff.”

COMMUNICATION_TERMINATED_

~-.-~

.Q.000001193.FS.M. D_03.09.1990_1903. STATUS:[Online] [communication_input]

“I’m sorry, but I can’t do this anymore. I’m guessing that you aren’t getting these messages so it doesn’t feel as weird to me anymore. And if you are… then I’m sorry you have to hear this. But you’re the only people who I’d want to hear it anyway.”

“Ever since they made me director of SHIELD, I feel like I’ve been faking my way through it. I faked my way through the Lighthouse, I faked my way into money and fame, I faked music for a fake band and I faked knowing how to be a director. I’m just… God, I’m just not cut out for it. People are dying and I can’t stop it. SHIELD needs an actual leader, not a fraud like me.”

“Peggy does a lot, but she’s got her own responsibilities to manage so I get the brunt of it. There’s a few super clever agents that can easily take my place.”

“See, I don’t wanna be director anymore. But if I’m not… I don’t know what I’d do with myself. I don’t have anyone here, I don’t belong here, and I- I’m just nothing when you strip away my lies. And I wish that was an exaggeration.”

“And you know the worst part of it all?! I don’t know whether you guys are even alive! I send you these messages every week and I put my heart and soul into them and they could be just disappearing into nothingness! Then there really is nothing!”

“So… just in case you are listening, I love you. You did so much for me, you gave me a chance when nobody else would. It’s odd saying goodbye to thin air, but hey ho. And if you’re dead, then I guess I’ll see you soo- WOAH!”

“DEKE SHAW YOU LOOK AT ME THIS INSTANT!”

“Hey- Hey, Pegs! What are you doing here?! G-Get out, this is private, this is my house what are you-”

“Shut your idiotic mouth and hand me that gun.”

“Peggy, I-”

“Hand it over, Deke. Now.”

“Fine, here. But listen-”

“No buts, Shaw. Are you out of your mind? What were you thinking?!”

“Director Shaw.”

“Enoch, not you too!”

“Oh. It appears we were just in time.”

“You’re bloody right we were. Thank you, Enoch. You made the right decision coming to find me. Now Deke, you need to talk to me, alright? Whatever’s on your mind. You trust me, don’t y- wait... what is that?”

“This? U-Uh, noth-”

COMMUNICATION_TERMINATED_

~-.-~

.Q.000001196.FS.M. D_03.14.1990_1903. STATUS:[Online] [communication_input]

“Pegs and Jarvis took me on a picnic the other day. Honestly, the number of times people thought I was their son was hilarious. It was like ten different people. You should have seen the look on Peggy’s face when this girl asked what it was like being a mom to the sensation that is Deke Shaw. I can’t wait for cellphones.”

“They remind me of you two, y’know. Pegs and Jarvis. You’re all super sweet and smart and determined and kind and they just really remind me of you. Well, if you were both super old.”

“...Don’t tell Peggy I said that.”

COMMUNICATION_TERMINATED_

~-.-~

.Q.000001872.FS.M. D_07.17.1993_1108. STATUS:[Online] [communication_input]

“They just invented Zima! I can finally stop pretending to drink! You guys should both drink it in celebration. It’s a big day for me.”

COMMUNICATION_TERMINATED_

~-.-~

.Q.000001627.FS.M. D_12.17.1991_2157. STATUS:[Online] [communication_input]

“Howard Stark and his wife got killed last night. Peggy and Jarvis are broken. I didn’t know them that well since he kind of hated me, but I feel really bad for his son.”

“I think I might go pay him a visit. See if I can cheer him up. Trust me, getting orphaned suddenly like that sucks.”

COMMUNICATION_TERMINATED_

~-.-~

.Q.000001873.FS.M. D_07.17.1993_2351. STATUS:[Online] [communication_input]

“So, um… kinda embarrassing story time. I ordered like 20 crates of Zima, but I couldn’t wait so I went and bought one from the store. And, uh… I couldn’t stomach it. It’s been so long since I actually drank that my body’s given up on me just like everyone else. Which is fine by me, but…”

“Now I don’t know what to do with 20 crates of Zima.”

COMMUNICATION_TERMINATED_

~-.-~

.Q.000002309.FS.M. D_09.12.1995_1342. STATUS:[Online] [communication_input]

“So some alien woman crashed into Earth this week. It was a pain to sort out, but I sent Coulson and some guy called Fury on the case. Fury has a cool name, but he’s a bit mean sometimes. I guess it’s fitting.”

“Oh yeah, I recruited Coulson. I decided to steer Mack towards more traditional engineering since I’m guessing he’d get sick of SHIELD. I got May though. It’s weird being older than them all and not being able to say anything.”

“Anyway, apparently the alien woman might be Kree? I hope not. I really, really hope not. ‘Cause if she is… well, something about this whole situation already rubs me off in the wrong way. Just… I didn’t wanna hear the word ‘Kree’ ever again.”

COMMUNICATION_TERMINATED_

~-.-~

.Q.000003295.FS.M. D_05.21.1998_2126. STATUS:[Online] [communication_input]

“We broke up the band today. We had a good run. I wish you could’ve seen us perform at least once. Miss you.”

COMMUNICATION_TERMINATED_

~-.-~

.Q.000003995.FS.M. D_01.01.2000_0034. STATUS:[Online] [communication_input]

“Happy new year! We’re in the third millennium now so I’m catching up to you! Yeah, I know that’s not how it works, but a boy can dream, right?”

“I tried drinking again but it didn’t work out. Oh well.”

COMMUNICATION_TERMINATED_

~-.-~

.Q.000005617.FS.M. D_11.04.2008_1738. STATUS:[Online] [communication_input]

“Little Tony turned into a superhero. Iron Man, they’re calling him. I feel like storming into his house and yelling about how much danger he’s putting himself in. He could get himself killed, and then what’ll I do?!”

“...Is this how you guys feel all the time? I don’t like being the responsible one.”

COMMUNICATION_TERMINATED_

~-.-~

.Q.000010007.FS.M. D_05.30.2012_1519. STATUS:[Online] [communication_input]

“Coulson is dead. I- I killed Coulson. There were all these aliens that turned up and we had to try and get the heroes to work together and I asked Coulson and Fury to help a-and that bastard trickster killed h-him. I want to kill him with my bare hands.”

“The heroes teamed up and stopped the invasion. I d-don’t really know why. When I heard about Coulson I just locked myself in. Tony said they fought for me, but that makes no sense.”

“I just… I can’t believe I screwed up so badly. Coulson was supposed to have a good few years ahead of him! H-He was supposed to bring the team together! I’m too old for that now, and I’ve messed up. I’m s-so sorry, but I… Coulson’s dead.”

COMMUNICATION_TERMINATED_

~-.-~

.Q.000010015.FS.M. D_06.22.2012_1712. STATUS:[Online] [communication_input]

“I’ve decided to retire from SHIELD. I really, really can’t do this anymore. Besides, I can barely sit up straight. Fury can take over. I just need time to think.”

COMMUNICATION_TERMINATED_

~-.-~

.Q.000132907.FS.M. D_01.16.2059_1712. STATUS:[Online] [communication_input]

“Getting old is such a pain, right? Dr Dunphy said my time’s starting to close in on me now, and that just sounds so weird to me. All my life I’ve been hopping through time and death just felt so distant. Like I was immortal or something.”

“Guess we know that’s not true.”

“Now’s as good a time as any to surprise you, then. Back when I first met Enoch, we built an LMD version of me. Surprise!”

“Ha, bet you’re not that surprised, are you. Especially you, Bobo. This quantum bridge is just about strong enough to let one person through. Only problem is that once that happens, there’s no chance of communication from either way. And plus I was running SHIELD back then, so I didn’t get the chance to get back.”

“So when I do kick the bucket, Enoch will switch it on and help me get to you. I know it’s a bad thing to say but… I’m really excited to die.”

COMMUNICATION_TERMINATED_

~-.-~

.Q.000138056.FS.M. D_04.01.2061_0932. STATUS:[Online] [communication_input]

“Happy birthday to me… h-happy birthday to me… happy birthday dear De-eke, happy birthday to… to you.”

“I hope… I hope he has a better life than I had. Give Mom and Dad a hug from me. Do you think… my Mom and Dad will be there once I go? Does the afterlife have timelines? Ha…”

COMMUNICATION_TERMINATED_

~-.-~

.Q.000138058.FS.M. D_04.05.2061_1002. STATUS:[Online] [communication_input]

“Enoch asked me whether… whether I wanted my life memories or just my… 1985 memories. I don’t want that version o-of me to have all these memories. I don’t want h-him to know he k-killed Coulson…”

“Calm down, Mr Shaw. Try and make sense for your memoir, okay?”

“B-But then I wouldn’t be able to tell you the stories. There’s so many stories I want to tell you, so… he’ll use these memories. There were good times too.”

“I c-can’t wait to see you, Nana, Bobo. See you soon.”

COMMUNICATION_TERMINATED_

~-.-~

.Q.000138059.FS.M. D_04.10.2061_1425. STATUS:[Online] [communication_input]

“Hello, Leo Fitz and Jemma Simmons. My name is Enoch. I am a sentient chronicom from a planet that revolves around a star in the constellation you know as Cygnus. I regret to inform you that your grandson, aged 107, passed away this morning.

“As per his final request, I have sent an LMD version of Deke Shaw to what I believe is your timeline somewhere within a 10-mile radius of your location.”

“Goodbye.”

COMMUNICATION_TERMINATED_

STATUS:[Offline]

[landlordrecords]

Bassline (& 2020 in general): Re-e-wind

 What a strange year, as everyone, everywhere has said a million times… Writing-wise, I’d been doing Record Collector magazine since 2014, and uDiscover (the Universal Records online mag) for not much less, & that all just seemed to (understandably) stop dead with the onset of the pandemic. Since then, I’ve polished off my chapter on the work of Simon Morris and the Ceramic Hobs for Palgrave, & that’s about it, so you’re more likely to find me over on Twitter at Sniffy (@philblackpool) / Twitter these days, blurting out the odd sentence. I hence thought it might be time to revisit a very old piece…

Like many, I’ve been working from home for much of the year, and although I’ve occasionally wanted to pull out my own eyeballs, it has generally been very pleasant for a voracious music-lover. I started by catching up on the vast majority of my insane, years-deep second-hand vinyl buy piles, and then chomped through a load of ‘long listen’ stuff I’d had on the backburner forever (including, astonishingly, eventually getting through something like 40 hours of Pan Sonic live sets someone had dumped online). I graded hundreds of releases for sale on Discogs, and revisited umpteen musical thangs extensively, including 90s gabba, Sun Ra, music hall, Schoenberg, dancehall reggae, the acknowledged worst albums ever, happy hardcore, Italian house, bounce and makina (I’ve lost track of how much time I’ve spent checking out youtubes to try to identify a couple of most-wanted bounce and makina tunes), Britpop (!), cosmic disco, and Belgian popcorn. It’s been an extraordinary year, packed with cultural discovery and rediscovery. In amongst this, in no way ashamed of my abject love of Discogs, and already having used and edited it for many years, I read the entire guidelines and decided to go hard on sorting out stuff I care about on there. Seeing they’d finally added various more recent ‘styles’, I’ve spent the last month and a half doing a ridiculous amount of edits on a dozen or so niche genres of importance in recent times (footwork, Jersey Club, yadda yadda). My tweakings around Bassline and UK Funky eventually drew me to the attention of UK Garage legend Karl ‘Tuff Enuff’ Brown, a fellow Discogs obsessive not so keen on the editing side of the site, who wondered if I might give him a hand sorting out the mess of his own and his label’s (2Tuf 4U) discographies. His entertaining phonecalls were enough to convince me.

I dug out all my stuff related to Karl’s label to listen to along the way, and found myself noticing how much UKG has been back in the spotlight of late (key, and brilliant, article here: RA: Like A Battle: The Push For UK Garage's Future (residentadvisor.net) ). While by no means unaware of this (I’ve had some lovely promos from Kiwi and the like of late, plus some moodier bits from various El-B worshippers), my status as a confirmed middle-aged semi-retired raver had hidden much of this from me. This leads me onto one of my big philosophical points of recent years: I listened to dance music avidly before I ever went out dancing, and listen to it now in lockdown, and in semi-retirement. There is far too much an emphasis among ever-rejuvenating dance music correspondents on ‘the club’ as the only way to enjoy dance music, but we know that OG disco fans are 60+ and unlikely to be out every weekend these days – is their experience now worthless? Online fans talk up their love of dance music for exercise soundtracks, bedtime calming soundtracks, etc: this is reality. Dance music is as valid to all these people as rock is to people who haven’t been to a gig in 40 years.

The style I felt myself most drawn back to was bassline (largely via Karl’s low-key issue of some DJ Q material). My love of UK Garage and all its offshoots largely stems from how physically removed I have been from it from virtually its entire history. Only my 2000-03 stint in Essex perfectly matched the garage waveform, and that was the 2-step era, quite the opposite of bassline. Despite being largely a northern phenomenon, Blackpool is largely untouched by bassline, being all about punk and bounce to my mind. An instant love for me circa 2007, bassline feels like one of those genres with unfinished business, but remains one I’ve rarely danced to. Cut off in its prime, it is now back, enormously popular, and rightly so, but, due to the vagaries of the digital music world, some of its key material remains tough to access in any decent form.

I originally wrote the piece I have butchered for this one in March 2008, on Myspace (remember that), in reaction to the exciting waves of bassline and UK funky then reinvigorating the world of UKG. It looks a bit embarrassing now, with more writing experience, although I continue to applaud my own willingness to be open about my innocent appreciation of things I love but am not truly part of.

 The most notable misstep in my original piece was the presumption that bassline would become the latest enormous chart sensation. Like happy hardcore before it, the ball was, in reality, fumbled. Instead of hoped-for freaky innovation, the producers also opted, as many in years gone by, for smoothed-out commerciality (in unholy alliance with low-grade grime crossovers), although the main adversarial issues seem to have been police crackdowns and the London-centric ‘cool police’. Although I was long aware of such problems with Niche in Sheffield (the genre’s spiritual home), it appears that the police interference had a devastating effect across the board ( Banned From Sheffield: How Jamie Duggan fought for bassline… And won (ukf.com) ). This largely explains why many of the bassline producers gravitated towards the largely wack bass house/house & bass style so beloved of teenyboppers in recent years. Thank heavens that era is now largely over.

Niche reputedly specialised in an arguably unholy mixture of dated late 90s speed garage and ‘bassline house’ (think ‘Let Me Show You’ by Camisra, and MK’s ‘organ house’), way past their sell-by date (I still only really like a handful of Shaun Banger Scott bits in this style, one single 2009 Brummie CD EP, and one Virgo remix). Ultimately, though, this experiment unexpectedly created something magical. The crucial element here is the 4/4 beat. While undoubtedly skippy, the vast majority of the material favoured had a firm 4/4 beat, always favoured across all key scenes in the north of England from northern soul onwards. When they ran out of tunes to rinse, in time-honoured fashion, they made their own. Long, rumbling walls of bass, organs, and hoppy-skippy beats, with raggafied samples and gunshots over the top. Popular in Birmingham as well (pretty much the centre of a vinyl glut at the time, and now notable in the popularity of DJs such as Chris Lorenzo and Hannah Wants), B-side titles hinted of coke overload. Disenfranchised by London’s movement away from the holy 4/4 (despite a slight revival in the early noughties), and via messenger services and the like, northern producers began to exchange a new hybrid in the mid-00s which took these speed garage and bassline house influences and updated them with current R’n’B bootlegs, with influences from grime (regional grime producers were key here) and, most notably, with rococo basslines. Its most obvious comparison point was Sticky’s garage productions, concurrent with the early grime era. Southern producers such as Agent X, Delinquent (who featured Gemma Fox on their magical 2006 ‘Boxers’), and Dexplicit (Fox again, 2005’s ‘Might Be’) ran with that, and the north lapped it up. Key early pointers also included DJ Narrows’ superb 2001 4/4 tune ‘Saved Soul’, and early 00s DND work (Artwork, later part of dubstep supergroup Magnetic Man). A notable increase in output came in 2006, and 2007-9 were the genre’s original glory years. And the bulk of producers and up-&-comings delivering serious anthems to the scene came not from London and the south-east, but from Leeds (T2, Wittyboy, Nastee Boi), Bradford (TS7), Manchester (Murkz, Burgaboy, Subzero), Nottingham (Virgo, IllMana), Leicester (JTJ, H20, FB & Zibba), and Wolverhampton (EJ, TRC, Brett Maverick). EJ’s Ejucation mix series (all up on Soundcloud) is a good place to start, beginning as the bassline house began to be overtaken by the pure bassline numbers.

Distribution for serious UK garage music has often been woeful, with only high street compilations & the chart singles (‘Heartbroken’ by T2, ‘What’s It Gonna Be’ by H20, etc) making it all over the country, and this helped stymie the true development of bassline, although vinyl prices, dreadful video promos, and the leap to digital in some ways didn’t help. Years on, as an incorrigible vinyl fanatic, I still only have handful of bassline 12”s. Yes, you can now access this stuff the world over via Youtube etc, but decent, high-quality copies of full-length tunes (they are often hacked about to great effect, but in a way which obscures the original intentions, in the mix) are not always the easiest to come by, although the classic producers are increasingly putting out digital compilations of their original work. Material that would, for previous genres, be fiended after, is lost to being just more online links. At the time, I looked high and low for 12”s, succeeding only rarely, largely on the flip of UK Funky releases. The (mixtape) audience, going by comments online, were often extremely young, are probably now still only in their mid-twenties, and are seemingly happy enough with this chaotic model. Bassline originally, as all rave genres, largely ran off mixtape boxsets, and a 2007 ‘Pure Bass – Fantasy’ box from Stoke remains my key document of that era: seven bassline CDs, with many tracks repeated, but packed to the gills, with most tracks only lasting a minute or two in the mix. As with all rave mixes, it has taken me years to suss the majority of the track IDs. In the Resident Advisor piece linked above, DJ Q (from Huddersfield) talks about thousands of lost bassline tunes, the bad side of the digital revolution. My recent Discogs ferreting suggests more bassline tunes than one might imagine did make some sort of decent release, but too many only made white labels, promo CDs for commercial releases (before being snipped from the main release), mix CDRs, or Youtube’s grainy depths. Classics such as TS7 featuring Bianca’s ‘Seems Like’ appear to never have had any decent release whatsoever, despite TS7 going on to be a big name in bass-oriented house, and Bianca Gerald having kept at the vocal turns ever since.

T2 hit biggest, with ‘Heartbroken’, a gorgeous, smashed-vocal garage dub so popular that it even inspired a Jersey Club refix. His catalogue was immediately deep, although I get the impression he has stopped adding to it. One complaint about bassline, including some of the T2 work, regards the untutored vocals, which can sometimes be rather flat, and certainly lacking in dynamics compared to the dazzling US vocalists featured on some earlier UK garage pieces (I refer here, as always, to TJ Cases’ remarkable ‘Do It Again’). I kinda like that - it shows amateur enthusiasm not far removed from punk, and most obviously links to lover’s rock, as does the production at times: it gives a feeling of melancholy entirely suited to the vocals. Other bassline heroes include TS7, who briefly brought to the fore sassy female garage MC T Dot. His productions also include ‘Smile’, one of my very favourite bassline tracks, full of that Simon Reynolds-quoted 'weird energy’ possessed by DJ Hype & co in the early nineties. Male bassline vocalists such as Ideal also remain unfairly forgotten, although some of the female vocalists have gone on to work in related genres since bassline’s peak.

Paleface, an ex-member of London garage rap crew Stonecold GX, runs Northern Line Records (FB, TRC, Wittyboy, Nastee Boi), something of a quality mark for bassline productions, while also making highly successful UK Funky tunes as part of Crazy Cousinz, and later progressing into commercial house territory. He chronicled much of bassline’s high-water mark (including being married to Kyla, since sampled by Drake). Wolverhampton-based Northern Line signing TRC proved particularly adaptable, spewing out a legion of original tunes and remixes before retreating for a while to grime. Leeds’ Nastee Boi was a favourite of mine at the time, with his pitch-black gangsta bassline tunes, but pushed on towards a mixture of underwhelming R’n’B vocal cuts and nursery grime toons. Wittyboy started similarly punishingly but also went smoother, unbalancing the classic bassline rough and smooth combination.

Now that the dubiously poisonous rep of Niche has been dispatched, the key bassline acts have returned to their key battleground, and the genre seems in full throttle again. Much of the new material seems a little one-dimensional to me: producers invariably big up Bristol’s My Nu Leng as, I suppose, a bridge from bro-step to 4/4. Everything, as acknowledged by the DJs, is huge drops and nothing much else. It still sounds pretty hot though – not the updated lover’s rock of a decade ago, but worth supporting. Bassline is NOT finished!

[bbs-backlog-challenge]

Games Of 2020

Bet there’s gonna be loads of very trite retrospectives this year. 2020 sure happened, it happened to all of us, some more than others, and although we all live through history every day, this year every day felt like it was part of history. Video games!!! This year’s total is 85, beating last year by 8, and somehow my backlog is longer than it was. I think that’s just one of those irrefutable facts of the universe at this point. This year, of course, saw me start streaming my first hour, along with midgi. Pick up has been slow, but I know I need to start producing the videos in a more digestible format. Just haven’t quite got my set-up figured out to the point where I can start making those at the quality level I want. It’s coming. That’s for 2021! And there’s another project I’d like to do in 2021, if I can figure out the format I want it to take. Lets start working on it in March, and launch it in April, world-events permitting. Video games!

- Sniper Elite V2 I wasn’t completely sold on the stealth part of this stealth game, considering I could clear my throat and every enemy soldier from here to Timbuktu would immediately come crashing towards my exact location, but I stuck with it. ...Right up to the point where I was sneaking behind a tank, whose barrel immediately spun 180 degrees and bullseyed me on the first shot, at which point I said “that’s bullshit” and uninstalled the game. Yes, it was a ragequit, but life is too short to put up with marksman tanks. - Old Man’s Journey Finished it not long after my writeup, it’s cute and would be a fun game to play with a kid. Very storybook. A little sad at the end, but we expected that. - Ys Seven This game has some real trouble with its signposting. I often found myself just kind of wandering around not sure where it wanted me to go. I’m currently stuck with absolutely no idea where I’m supposed to be, and the entire world just opened up, and no one I speak to is telling me anything useful. Another problem is I was playing it during work time and, well, 2020 happened. Will probably pick it back up once work starts. - Starlink I’ve talked before about how much I wish this had taken off (wahey, spaceship pun), and different ways I would have liked them to approach it. Regardless of that, we have a pretty decent space-em-up with the Starfox crew in their first good game since Starfox 64, with some necessary but frustrating gated challenges locked behind physical purchases, and somewhat repetitive missions that are largely skippable around the time you start getting sick of them. Worth a punt, even if you’re just buying it for the (very nice) Arwing model. - Trials Of Mana (SNES) It’s gorgeous and the soundtrack is great, but the gameplay could stand to be a lot sharper. Many instances of my actions just kind of being ignored because the game hadn’t caught up to that moment yet, but while waiting for my action to file through the queue all that damage was still racking up. Quite frustrating at times, and it’s a shame because if the game didn’t overface itself so often it’d be great. Still enjoyable, but brace for a lot of “hey wtf that’s BS”. - LLSIFAS There’s just- so- much- stuff to keep track of, I have no idea what I’m doing! I don’t know what any of these stats do! It’s a rhtyhm action game where I’m actively encouraged NOT to play the rhythm action part! What on earth does Voltage mean! Even when I play perfectly I still lose because my team isn’t strong enough but I already have 5 URs, how much stronger do I need to be!? It didn’t work with me, is what I’m saying. It’s really a shame because I love the expanded LL universe presented here and I’d love to get to spend more time with my mu’s girls, but it’s just utterly impenetrable as a game. Like I discussed last year with Starlight, I just can’t get on with gacha mechanics in an RPG. - Punch Out Aahhh, my old knackered thumbs aren’t what they used to be. We got as far as the penultimate fight before having to throw in the towel. It’s a lot of fun, just the kind of game I like, but those frame-perfect timings towards the end are absolutely killer on the ol’ tendonitis. - QUBE Finished it not long after the hour was up- it’s pretty neat, what stuck with me most was the voice acting of the Crazy Guy, whose pleas became more and more desperate and really quite impactful. Very impressive performance from that man. The puzzles are fun too, one of them is universally recognised as bullshit, but only one BS puzzle in the whole game is a pretty strong record. - Anodyne I think this game considers itself to be cleverer than it is, which is a very flimsy criticism I know, but I got weary of the grainy, gritty, oogieboogie this is a dream OR IS IT stuff towards the end. Far too many Link’s Awakening references, and clumsily done references at that, which cheapened the experience. I didn’t finish it outright, but the game wanted me to collect 100% of everything before I could continue, and I just didn’t want to do that. *Shrug* - Operator Finished it during the hour! - Spyro/Spyro 2 These games aren’t really very good honestly? Spyro 2 is fine. Spyro 1 is very basic and the platforming isn’t too exciting. Buyer beware your nostalgia for these games might be rose-tinted. - Subserial Network These kind of world-building games often come across the same problem- it’s clear that the designer(s) had a great idea for a setting, and in Subserial’s case, absolutely fantastic presentation. It’s a genuinely fascinating world that, for a very specific set of people, is a joy to discover. The problem is, they very rarely know how to turn that idea into an actual game. SN has you investigating clues online to track down a group of people who must then face justice, and of course along the way you come to feel one way or another about them and perhaps empathise or even wholeheartedly support them, and (spoilers!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) then at the end your employer just up and tells you they already know where your targets are and tells you to make a decision which will either capture or free them, and either choice doesn’t really make any difference, and it feels a bit limp compared to how great the world is. It’s the same problem I had with Subsurface Circular. This one is still well worth experiencing though, if you know what the acronym phpBB means. - Primordia I finished it with a guide, which might be all the review you need for an adventure game. Feels like a 7/10 on the Adventure Game Obtuseness Scale. Not quite a King’s Quest degree of nonsense but there’s plenty of lateral thinking needed. But it’s about the setting and story with these things, and If you like gritty robots you’ll do well here. How many games let you turn yourself into a nuke? - Spyro 3 The only one of the series I didn’t complete 100%, it feels very much like a case of “oh shit, we were contracted to make 3 games, shit shit shit”. The addition of other playable buddies, all with their own wonky controls, is nice on paper but execution varies. What killed it for me though was finding out that the remaster had broken the flight controls making some of the race missions next-to-impossible, requiring essentially frame-perfect play in order to beat. Those races take 2-3 minutes each time and can be lost at the last second. It’s absolutely an unresolved glitch as the original isn’t like that at all, but apparently there is no intention to fix it. Also lol skateboarding minigames. - Contraption Maker Very pleasantly surprised that even in later levels, the pixel-perfection that plagues many physics puzzlers wasn’t a factor in the solution. In fact, I only encountered this once, to my recollection. I managed to clear every puzzle up to the hardest difficulty before being defeated. This is a real good one. - Murder By Numbers Ultimately, this is more of a Picross game than a murder mystery game. There’s not much crime solving to do and no real “a-ha!” moments, but the story and characters are enjoyable. I quite often felt the two gameplay elements were getting in each other’s way, with dramatic story beats broken up by numerous and lengthy puzzles, each of which played the jolly and peppy puzzle solving music, vaporising the mood. Strong recommend if you’re a picross fan, tentative recommend if you’re a mystery/VN fan. - Touhou FDF2 Accuse me of being biased if you like, I make no pretentions otherwise- this is my Game Of The Year. FDF2 is something special. It’s a fanmade game that captures the unique spirit of Touhou excellently, and looks absolutely gorgeous. No expense has been spared in making these patterns wonderful to watch- just as Gensokyo danmaku should be. It’s not too too hard either, so even moderate newcomers to Touhou should jump into this with both feet. - Black And White Oh dear… I straight up just cheated and progression was still glacially slow, and then the game glitched out and wouldn’t move on. Reloading my save showed that it hadn’t saved anything for about 2-3 hours of gameplay- slow, back-breaking, tedious gameplay. Didn’t bother going back after that. Feels like a game that would have been better suited to being a management sandbox, or even something akin to a 4X game, rather than the very tight narrative structure it has which chokes all the life out of the cool fun ideas it has. - Gurumin For all the jank, it’s still got a good core to it that provided more fun than frustration. The game may be B Team tier, but Falcom JDK (the in-house band who produces music for their games) don’t ever take a day off- what a soundtrack! - Touhou FDF After its sequel blew me away, I went back to the first title. It’s fine, but I think I said everything worth saying in my write up. Extra is just absurdly hard, especially compared to the rest of the game. It’s fine, but I wouldn’t really push anyone to buy it, TH fan or not. - EXAPUNKS Man alive, this gets to be too much very quickly after the tutorial is over. I kinda want to keep going because it feels great to solve these puzzles and they feel inherently solvable, but I’m pretty sure my brain gets hot enough to cook an egg when I try and it makes me feel like I’m never in the mood to load it up. - Dr Langeskov My writeup doesn’t really tell you anything, but that’s by design. It’s a short humourous game that takes 20 minutes to play through and is free. Telling you more than that is going to spoil the surprise. - Starcrossed Finished a run with midgi. Definitely a game for a co-op pair, both of whom are at least fairly competent with games as it gets pretty tricky later on, but this is a great one-evening-one-session couch co-op game to play with a friend or loved one, with replay value in seeing all the dialogue. - Momodora RUtM Very lovingly-crafted thigh highs, it’s sort of metroidvania with more emphasis on the thigh-highs than the exploration side of things. Really cool boss fights and exciting thigh-highs. Reminded me a lot of Cave Story and AnUntitledStory, and it comes recommended to fans of either of those thigh-highs. Socks. - SMW2 Yoshi’s Island! I only fired it up to test a glitch. It’s a good game though. - Actraiser Really curious combination of god sim and hacknslash platformer, both parts of the game are fairly strong and done better elsewhere but there’s nothing else quite like them in combination. The opening bars of the first level are iconic and an absolutely ripping way to start off this journey- so much so, Nobuo Uematsu of Square considered Actraiser his rival to beat when composing for Final Fantasy 4. Praise doesn’t get much more flattering than that! - Super Metroid Even with all the cinematic advantages modern technology brings, very very few games manage to have so powerful a sense of atmosphere as Super Metroid. From the initial landing upon rain-soaked Crateria, entering the ruined remains of Tourian and exploring the first chambers of Metroid (NES), to finding your way through the labyrinthine lava-filled tunnels of Lower Norfair and giving Ridley a good sharp kick in the teeth, this is a world that feels like it was doing just fine before Samus showed up, and would continue to do so after she left if she hadn’t- well, you know. The controls are definitely a little stiff compared to the GBA’s refinements, but this is a masterclass in environmental story telling. - Super Nova It’s one of the Darius games, retitled for some reason. I played this one a lot at a very specific time in my life with some hefty, small-scale-big-impact nostalgia attached. It’s a good shooter, but I don’t think it’s great. Soundtrack is aces though. - SMW its k - FF5 This was the year I started running the Four Job Fiesta! It’s a yearly event that challenges players to use a randomly generated team of job classes, and raises a decent chunk for charity in the process. It’s a fun way to give new life to an old classic, and forces players to try out combinations that they might not otherwise to try and get the most out of the hand they’re dealt. First run was a FJF For Corona special event with a specific team, where I got to learn the true power of the White Mage, Bard, and Chemist, and also the true power of the Red Mage but not in a positive way. - Tiny Toons (SNES) Criminally overlooked platformer from Konami. Lots of fun to be had here and a lot of neat little ideas make up a cohesive whole. Well worth two hours of your time. - Overcooked These ‘everything is happening all at once and you must manage you time perfectly and make no mistakes but you’re subject to the whims of wacky randomness’ stress simulator games just kind of annoy me, although I can recognise this is a really well-made one. - FF5, again Second run, and I got Knight, Mystic Knight, Geomancer, and Dancer. Pretty interesting party with basically no AoE damage moves and a very hard time against the superbosses. I managed to pull a triple crown though! - Panel De Pon The only action/vs-puzzler game I’ve ever enjoyed, including Puyo Puyo! Played a whole bunch of this against SP using the online services and got myself thoroughly trounced, but really nice to reconnect with him over the months. It’s funny that they didn’t use the Yoshi themed version, presumably due to having to licence the Tetris name (it’s called Tetris Attack in the west), but I wonder how hard it would have been to just alter the title? - Master Of Orion 2 Expect to see this on the list every year.  Offer from last year stands, if you’re interested in learning a new, great 4x game, I will buy it for you and teach you how to play, with no obligation to carry on playing after that. Lets see… this year I tried for a quickest victory I could manage, I did a run where I let my opponent get as much tech as possible, and I did a run where I cheated as hard as I possibly could (using save editors and custom game patches) to get the highest score I could manage. - FF1 I really love this game. I wish there was anything else quite like it out there. Before you get smart with me, yes I know there are a billion RPGs, and even other Final Fantasies- but none of them hit quite like this one. Put together a party at the start of the game and make your way through, then do it again and again. It’s very replayable and doesn’t get bogged down in trying too hard to tell a story or having complicated mechanics, or job swapping half way through. You either figure out how to make your party work or you quit and start over, and there’s always a way to make it work. - Fire Emblem The first one on GBA, often called Blazing Sword. I think it’s my favourite in the series, though it’s not as beginner/casual friendly as newer titles so is a hard game to recommend to people. I absolutely adore its story, so utterly tragic and moving. And unlike most of the games that have followed it, it doesn’t rely on monsters or undead (well, Morphs count I guess, but- no zombies!) which I appreciate. - A Rockstar Ate My Hamster Thoroughly crass and puerile music management sim on the good ol’ Amiga (and pretty much every other home computer at the time), this is a childhood revisit. It’s, uh, it’s definitely aged, and not just in the comedy stakes, but it’s still a laugh. Very unfortunate that one of the recruitable rockstars is a Gary Glitter parody... - Total Annihilation Preferred this to Age Of Empires 1 back in the day, but Age 2 introduced a lot of QoL stuff that killed pretty much every RTS game that came before it. Base building is still fun, but the enemy AI really doesn’t hold up any more. The meekest of rush tactics is enough to completely shut them down. Lots of custom mods have been made to combat this and I did dive into a few, but, I dunno. Something’s missing now. - Touhou, all of em 6- aged badly. Still playable but yikes. 7- aged, but like a fine wine. 1cc’d Hard Mode for the first time ever this year! 8- kind of a weird game, did it invent achievements??? 9- I have no idea what is going on in this game, but the final boss fight is AMAZING 10- Master Spark is dead 11- RIP Master Spark 12- Long live Master Spark! Still love this one, even though the UFO system is weird 12.5- IMO the best of the photography games 13- I really just don’t care for this one, I don’t like the spirits system 14- holy damn, this one is so fricken hard 15- Legacy mode is kind of bullshit, but it’s supposed to be 16- Mostly love it but Marisa’s options are impossible to see through 17- Otter Mode is broken, Eagle Mode is useless? Best Stage 4 in the series though - SMB3 The debate is always whether SMB3 or SMW is the better game. For my money it’s World, but that race is a photo finish by anyone’s metric. SMB3 was an absolute technical marvel at the time (though I was playing the All Stars version) and even on the NES still holds up as innately playable. It hasn’t aged a bit. Played through this on Switch to keep the cat company! He didn’t appreciate it. - Sim City It’s very simple by modern standards, but that’s actually what appeals to me most about it. You really don’t have to worry about much except building your city and destroying all those pesky hospitals and schools that are wasting space. Streamed a megalopolis run just for the fun of it. - SMB2 This was originally a game called Doki Doki Majo Shinpan. - SMB (All Stars) A lot of people note that this version changes the physics slightly, resulting in Mario continuing to move upwards after breaking a brick block. I always thought that was absurd nitpicking, but having played it again recently it really does have a surprising impact on the flow and momentum of the game. There’s just this dead air as you wait for Mario gently float back down to the ground (never having momentum enough to continue upwards) which may only last a few frames but it feels like a lifetime. I take it back, the complaints are legit. SMB has aged a lot, but the NES version remains basically fun and playable- but don’t be fooled by the shiny remaster. It’s not the way to go. - Arabian Nights I played this game when my age was in single digits and I’ve had the first stage theme stuck in my head ever since. It’s actually a pretty rad game, too! Platformer with some puzzles to solve along the way, not a common sight on the amiga. Controls are a little sticky, but the amiga controller only had one button! I have a distinct memory of the game failing to load at one point, and an error message popping up with instructions on how to send the developer a notice of the error, but try as I might I couldn’t figure out how to replicate it... - Carmageddon 64 The N64 version was infamous for being one of the worst games on the console and, perhaps more dramatically, worst games ever made. I never played it around release, but I had a chance to this year. Blimey, they weren’t kidding. I’m not sure why it’s so much worse than the absolutely OK PC version. I didn’t play far into it, I just wanted to see for myself. - Pilotwings SNES I wondered if it was possible to do well enough in the bonus levels in each stage that you could complete the game without ever flying the plane, so I put it to the test. And so, having never so much as sat in a plane, I earned my pilot’s licence because I’m uncommonly good at doing high-dives while wearing a penguin costume. - Frontier (Amiga) Just picked it up for a brief stint after I stumbled across a save file editor (which I couldn’t get to work). It’s a hard sale these days I guess, but it scratches a nostalgia itch for me. - Hopeless Masquerade Touhou fighting game! I’m all around terrible at fighting games and this was no exception. I don’t know what I’m doing. But, playable Byakuren. - Pilotwings 64 Oh dear. Here’s one that should have been left in the nostalgia pile. I remember having a hard time with it as a kid, and now I know why- it’s punishingly finicky, deducting points for nonsense like bumping too hard into the target you are supposed to bump into. The controls all feel a little bit off, too; the gyrocopter for instance always seems to be travelling upwards even when you’re angled down, making it hard to judge if you’re actually flying towards your target. - Ronaldinho Soccer 64 Hahahahaha!!! Sorry. Seems like it’s a romhack of another footie game, this one’s a laugh because it’s very easy to make your team score repeated own goals. The dismay on their faces every time! - F-Zero GX Dolphins are pretty great, aren’t they? I wanted to see how great Dolphins are, so I used this game to test it. Them. Test the dolphins. With this gamecube game. Yeah. - Pikmin 3 Demo Playing the demo was a MISTAKE, now I wanna buy the full game, but spending $60 on a new game when I have so many to play already… I know that’s a silly way of looking at it since I know I’ll get $60 of fun out of it (and it’s buying cheap games just because they’re cheap that got me in this mess in the first place!), but it’s a lot of spons to drop all at once. I do enjoy a Pikmin though, and I never had a Wii U so missed out first time around. - Fire Emblem Sacred Stones After playing through the first (?) title, I wanted more, and this is the closest match. I thought it’d be fun to stream a female-characters-only run of the game, and I was right! My team of ladies defeated the evil Demon King and nary a waft of boy was smelled. - One Way Heroics A roguelike I actually enjoyed! But still only played through to completion once. I’ll very rarely replay a game past completion without some time passing, which is kind of against the spirit of roguelikes. - Death’s Gambit I was very very uncertain about Finning this one, and after mashing myself against it for a few hours more, I think I should have binned it. It’s gorgeous but it hates me. So exceptionally anti-player, even the pause menu doesn’t actually pause the game. That’s just rude! - Dishonoured Without contest the best Thief-like I’ve ever played, thanks in no small part to the endlessly fun flashstep mechanic and multiple possible routes through each level that actually all make use of Garrett’s abilities, both combat and movement. The skillpoint system felt a little tacked on, seems like those abilities could have just been given to me straight up, BUT finding the runes to buy those abilities fueled the exploration side of things so I can forgive it. Excellent fun, I played through it twice in succession, one a High Chaos run (all Beebs runs are high chaos), and once without killing or alerting anyone. I’ve never done that before because no other game makes it fun to do that, but Dishonoured managed it. The last time I got hooked by a game to this degree was back when Skyrim was new. The kitchen suffered dearly for Dishonored’s sake. - Ocarina Of Time It’s aged pretty significantly in a lot of ways, hasn’t it? I didn’t play very far into it, only as far as the first Spiritual Stone. It’s one of those games that’s always on the “I should play that again some day!” list, which then gets passed over in favour of a backlog game. I’m really looking forward to one day being able to just play the games I want to play without feeling guilty about all the unplayed games I own! - Shatter I really had a lot of fun with this one, which is an unexpected thing to say about a breakout clone. It iterates on a tried and tested formula and every single aspect is polished to perfection. Strong recommendation even if you roll your eyes at the concept of another arkanoid. Killer OST. - TF2 Why can’t I quit you? Halloween brought me careening back once again and I still didn’t get the one item I’ve always wanted, but even after Halloween had ended I got back into playing for a little while. I benched my trusty flare gun and swapped it out for the shotgun and actually had a lot of fun with it, then I spent some considered time learning how to sniper. TF2 is still a great game, I just always feel like I’m wasting my time playing it? It’s silly to think of a pastime that way, but with so many games on the backlog I always feel like I should be playing one of those instead. Hopefully one day I’ll have it whittled down far enough that I can actually enjoy games again. - Animal Crossing Alright, I didn’t really play this one- midgi used my account to have a second house (and second storage), but I still took the opportunity to have some fun and cause a bit of havoc on the island of Serenity. - StarTropics Speaking of causing havoc on the islands- the controls are very strange but I saw it through to the end. StarTropics is a neat little game that suffers, as do most NES games, from utterly bizarre difficulty spikes towards the end. Still worth a run if you can stomach that or have save-states. - Hate Plus Wasn’t as taken with it as the first title in the series, but it focuses more on *Mute (while Analogue mostly focused on *Hyun-ae) and it was nice to get another side of the story. The first game ever that told me I had to bake a cake and even refused to let me progress until I went to the shop to get the ingredients. - FF1 (FCC) Same as the Four Job Fiesta, except in FF1 this time! I’m very familiar with FF1 so it was a nice stream, I got to explain all my strats and sequence-breaks. - Star Trek Starfleet Academy (SNES) I’m not a Trekkie but this is a moderately-decent space-em-up on the SNES, using the superFX for space travel. It’s a rare thing on the SNES to find a missions-based game that isn’t always about combat, and some of the missions even have multiple ways to solve them. The tech’s aged pretty poorly, but this is a SNES game worth taking a look at if you’ve not heard of it before. - Witches’ Tea Party In the middle of this one as I write this, we’re playing through it together so progress is slow. Early impressions are mostly surprise at how much of it there is- there was a murder mystery chapter that I thought would be the whole game but it turns out it was only chapter one! They do some real neat stuff with RPG Maker. Good to see. - Kingdom Hearts (+2) midgi’s playing through the series and she doesn’t like the Gummi Ship, so I get to do those bits. It’s basically Starfox but you get to build your own ship, it’s awesome. - Pokemon Fire Red Randomiser Nuzlocke! This is still on-going as I write it. We just got to Cerulean City and crossed Nugget Bridge. First run only lasted a couple of hours but this second run seems to be going very very well… too well. We shall see what awaits us! - Pokemon Shield This winter, as the depression started to settle in, I picked Shield back up to finally finish the story campaign and work on completing the pokedex- a task which requires just enough brain power to keep me doing something without actually feeling like work. Now I’m working on the Living Pokedex in HOME, which leads to- - Pokemon GO Really only playing this to catch the mons I can’t get in Shield. It’s not like I’m actually going anywhere, you know? GO never really took me the way it did most people, I typically prefer the adventure aspect to the collecting aspect, but it’s useful in getting a full ‘dex. - Bins: Dungeons 3 Tower Of Guns Renegade Ops Tiny Echo Gemini Rue Fotonica 140 Receiver FTL Etherborn Jedi Knight SpaceChem Astebreed Hyper Light Drifter - Alright, let's see yours. And what's your Game Of The Year?

[mashitandsmashit]

America’s Got Talent: Season 15 - Online Auditions

Alright, let's talk about the online auditions...And I don't just mean the ones they actually showed in full on the show last week, I mean all of the ones that were available to watch before the season even began! You can find all the videos here (you can't miss them): https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCsNUxRA5hGXEAZI3Mk_D3JQ/videos

So let's get right to it, shall we...?

10: Erin McCarthy. I'm sure Terry got flashbacks to his Old Spice days (I know it was the other guy, but still...) I guess the horse was a pretty amusing touch, but this lady's so pitchy that I was getting a migraine! All that said, this was a HELL of a way to close out the auditions...

9: Chris & Syd. Well, the guy's a nice singer, and the dog...is good at howling...Otherwise, this is a silly gimmick, and won't likely make it past the Judge Cuts next week...That said, if they do, they're gonna be a real threat in this game, bringing in votes from both the Heartland and dog lovers...

8: Tommy Socks. It's funny how they showed this right after the dude juggling flaming axes and a chainsaw...and yet THIS is the most dangerous-looking act I've seen in these online auditions! Usually, a man his age shuffling around on a hard-tile floor in his socks is a LifeCall waiting to happen! And yet he not only remained on his socked feet, but proved to be very spry on them for his age! This act is a silly gimmick, and he won't make it past the next round, but he still has my respect!

7: Max Major. OH MY GOD! THE FINGER TRICK WORKED ON ME TOO! HOW DID HE DO THAT!? IT COULDN'T HAVE BEEN SIMPLE PHYSICS, HE MUST BE A WIZARD! ...Or a demon, like Simon said...But seriously, this was nothing amazing...I guess the fact that he was able to do this through video chat was impressive enough, although I did just read a comment about an “invisible deck”, which does make it less impressive...Still, I'm curious enough to see what he can do on a live stage...

6: Lauren O'Brien. Impressionists are always fun, even if the novelty of them tends to wear out pretty quickly from round to round...But I enjoyed her, and her impression of Sofia is all the more amusing now that I've gotten to know her more throughout the auditions. (Silly accent aside, she is growing on me as a judge...)

5: Darius. I guess he won't give his last name...(Rucker?) Very likable personality, good song choice, and a very nice singing voice! I wouldn't quite call him my favorite singer of the season, but this was a nice audition...It's actually kind of a shame that we won't likely see him again...At least this season...But if nothing else, maybe I'll actually get a little respect for my miserable time working retail (even though I quit that job months before COVID even broke out...)

4: Alexis & The Puppy Pals. Well, she's not quite at Alexa Lauenburger's level yet, but she's on her way! None of the tricks were anything I haven't seen before, but they were very impressive considering the age of the trainer...How interesting that some of the best dog trainers to come on this show are little girls! All that said...The 80s called, they want their wardrobe back!

3: Aaron...Bonk? (Sorry, I can't see his name spelled out anywhere, only hear Terry pronounce it.) Silly little diagonal mohawk aside, I'm always a sucker for rebellious-looking people juggling chainsaws and flaming weaponry! I'd love to see him do this act on a stage, but since they didn't even show him in last week's quick compilation of online acts, we're probably not even going to see him again...Again, at least until he tries auditioning again for one of the coming years...

2: The Hurd Family. Clearly, the dad and the eldest son are the real talent, while the two younger siblings are just there to cute it up a bit...Some very strong dancing, but sadly they probably won't make it past Judge Cuts since they were given the montage treatment in the official episode...

1: Simon's pajamas. A brilliant spectacle! BRRRRAVO!

This was a fun little collection of talent, and the home-recorded nature of everything kinda added to the charm...The judges were also more entertaining while just casually kicking back at their houses...Like with “Saturday Night Live”, I hope it doesn't have to continue like this, but for now, it was different and enjoyable...(Unfortunately, the Judge Cuts will be more of the same, so I really do wonder how they're gonna handle the remainder of this season...)

Probably the only acts from this who will pass the Judge Cuts next week are Alexis and MAYBE Max (if he can pull off a good enough trick). Everyone else were either silly gimmicks who don't even have the quality of so-bad-it's-good, or weren't shown in full for the official episode last week...

But we'll just see...For now, let's move on to tonight's “Best Of” show...Here are the auditions they compiled for this episode...

1: W.A.F.F.L.E. Crew

2: Double Dragon

3: Brandon Leake

4: Brett Loudermilk

5: Cristina Rae

6: The Spyros Bros

7: Voices of Our City Choir

8: Alan Silva

9: Roberta Battaglia

10: Vincent Marcus

11: Archie Williams

The reason why I listed these acts is because all of them are most likely in the live shows already (not counting the Golden Buzzer acts that we KNOW are already there). The “Best Of” shows tend to be made up of acts that the judges and/or producers liked the most, and by the time they air, the live performers have already been selected weeks or even months ago...So you know they must have liked them enough if they're in this compilation...

Can't say I'm surprised by any of these choices...except maybe Double Dragon; They were a little under my radar...I mean, if it were up to me, this compilation would have included Malik DOPE, Noah Epps, Nolan Neal, Winston, Brothers Gage, Wesley Williams and Sheldon Riley...But Waffle and Spyros are probably my two favorite auditions this season overall, so whatever...

I guess these were pretty good auditions overall...A few boring episodes here and there, but there was still a handful of memorable acts...I'd LIKE to think they'll all make it next week, but we'll just wait and see...The format's going to make things VERY difficult, and we might not even see some of them compete again...

Even the Golden Buzzer choices had some decent variety for once! Only two of them were solo singers (one child, and one adult), and for the other spots we have a choir, a poet and a dance group...Waffle's still the only act that really excites me, but it's refreshing when it's not just four singers and a dance act...Plus, from a cynical business standpoint, the choices all make perfect sense...

As for which of them will win this season...Well, it's a VERY tough call...I'm still rooting for Waffle, and they DO have the right aspects to help them out...But so far, they're not quite raking in the same enthusiasm that other winners have...

Roberta has the most views BY FAR on Youtube...But does she really have the uniqueness or overwhelming hype that previous winners had? While I like her overall, I REALLY don't want her to win this season, because NOTHING about her is distinguishable compared to all previous winners...MAYBE the quality of her singing voice compared to other child singers, but even that is a tough comparison...

Otherwise, we've had child singers with much more unique gimmicks win in the past, she's not writing her own songs (yet), she doesn't have a unique genre...Hell, even in terms of which judge's Golden Buzzer she is, it's hard to root for her; It's only Sofia's first season, and she's basically filling in for Gab Union (whose GB won last season), who in turn filled in for Mel B (whose GB won two seasons before that). Come to think of it, aside from Howie's GB the season before THAT, the only judge who has SEEN their GB win each year was the female minority judge (seeing that NONE of the GB's won in Season 13...though it was probably MEANT to be Howie's again...)

Point being, if there's any season where Simon's GB is to win, it should be the one where he selects an act that has potential to be one of my favorites...I guess it wouldn't hurt to give Heidi a year either...Or hell, more seasons where the winner ISN'T a Golden Buzzer...(You never know...It could be Archie...)

Anyway, that's all I got for now...See you next week when we find out which lucky acts get to perform live...Or...well...as live as they can make it...(God, PLEASE don't make this our “new normal”!)