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happy maid dress day <33333
#submas#ingo#cosme doobles#had a whole conundrum about who to draw#too many blorbos in my head.. i am ill.......#i missed ingo tho#hopefully ill be able to get out all the submas doodles ive been planning#taking a backseat from new stuff while baking in the totk juice
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My Bodyguard Pt. 2
Jungkook x male reader
this beautiful king
Stuff: fluff, smut, youre both a bit dumb with feelings, like supes fluffy, bottom reader, top Jungkook, missionary, cuddle fucking, kissing, one bed trope? kind of?
Tw: threat used to propel the romance.
Word count: 3,261
Notes: I'm sooooooooo sorry I haven't written in such a long time, i was swamped with stuff and then had no motivation, but then I got a request, and they asked if I was actually going to write it and that reminded me that I had to get off my ass and feed the public what they want, gay shit about real men I have and never will meet, and of course men who are just drawings.
Jungkook couldn't remember a time where he was more carried away in the beauty of another. He couldn't remember the last time he's felt such things for another, he can't remember because it's never happened before.
He was completely and utterly enamored by you, the way you talked, dressed, laughed, cried, yelled, even the way you ate had his full attention, and you felt no less.
You can't get your mind off of that night when he was staring at you, you knew there was something behind his dark gaze other than just a platonic view. He could have been looking at one of the most beautiful sunsets to ever exist, yet he was looking right at you, almost totally ignoring the sun set... why?
These thoughts have been plaguing your mind ever since, it was like you couldn't think of anything else but him. His dark eyes, his tattoos littered on his left hand, the way his jet-black hair looks all sweaty after a workout, his lip piercing that just looks so kissable, his bright and adorable smile, and most importantly the way he looked at you. You weren't so oblivious that you didn't realize the way he looked at you, the way his eyes were always filled with... something whenever he would gaze upon you. You noticed it every time but didn't say anything about it, not knowing yourself what exactly was, and asking your bodyguard why he looked in such ways at you sounds terribly awkward, something you don't think you have the ability to deal with.
"Hey y/n, are you ok?" Jungkook asked, pulling you out of your daze.
"Oh yeah, I'm totally fine." you replied, it wasn't exactly a lie, it was hard to feel anything negative when around Jungkook, which is so funny. When you first met him, you hated the bastard, but now you can hardly stand to be without him, which makes it convenient since he is your bodyguard after all.
Though saying that you are totally fine is a bit of a lie, since you haven't been able to get him out of your head. It's like he plagued your every thought, but you can't do anything about it. Telling your bodyguard, basically the man that works for you, that you think about him and only him in ways that aren't necessarily platonic may be quite the odd conversation to have, and one that you'd rather just not have.
But little to your knowledge, Jungkook felt the exact same way. Ever since that night he can't get you out of his thoughts, nor his dreams. He was almost dying, having to constantly be around the person that he's done many a sinful thing while he's asleep, and every time he's with you all he thinks about are these dreams, and since he's always with you it makes it quite the conundrum.
"Are you ok? you seem rather flushed." You pointed out, causing Jungkook to snap back into reality, such as you did.
"Ye-" before he can even finish what he was about to say, you see your father bash into the room in distress.
"What's wrong dad?" You asked, understandably worried about his random outburst.
"I have some terrible news. We've been sent a disgusting letter, a threat, placed on this house." He panted out, fear evident on his face.
"Can I read it?" You let out, your father's fear rubbing off on you.
"Absolutely not, it's too vial, downright evil. Though guard, you probably should." He exasperates.
Jungkook takes the note and reads its contents, his face scrunches up in disgust at the letter. It's filled with threats on the family's life, the same family whose heir is the boy he's infatuated with.
"We need to harden security, and I'll have to be around y/n at all times, be in the same room and have him in my sight constantly, even if this is fake, we have to take it with absolute certainty." Jungkook says to your father, taking swift action while also shocking you, as he's never taken his job so seriously in all the time he's been here so far.
You begin to shake in utter terror, never realizing what your title nor what your family meant until now. Jungkook notices your erratic shaking and attempts to calm you down, holding you tightly against his chest.
Though the terror of the situation still lingers in the air, it is quickly dimmed by Jungkook's touch. He holds you so tightly to his chest that you can hear and feel his heartbeat, which is beating like crazy, understandably.
This is the first time he's touched you in such a manner and it feels great. The threat is so quickly a thing of the past, after all you have gotten them before, nothing as bad as that but being so rich that you're in the public eye definitely has its drawbacks, but all of that seems so silly when you're in Jungkook's arms.
Though you've gotten the worst threat ever, you've never felt more secure in his arms. He continues to hold you tight, even after the shaking has stopped. Jungkook realizes that he's still holding you and he doesn't stop, also enjoying having you in his arms.
He lets go, leaving you disappointed, but that emotion is quickly covered up when he cups you face in his hands, forcing you to look into his eyes. Eyes that are already usually filled with adoration for you, are now filled with genuine care and worry.
"It's okay, I'm here, and I'd sooner die than let anything hurt you." He stated, leaving any worry or fear left in you to be completely squandered.
You continue to look into his eyes which can only be described as way longer than platonic. You match his determined and caring gaze with your longing one, practically getting lost into the infinity of his orbs. The view was far better than any sunset, better than anything up until this very moment. For the first time in the short time you two have known each other you finally know what's going on behind those orbs.
You finally know how he feels about you. With the way he was holding you, and now how his hands gently hold your face, it's clear that he cares about you more than any mere platonic affection, but should you confront him about your findings, or leave it be.
Jungkook, much to your dismay, pulls away from you, his touch leaving you as well, which feels like a devastating loss. You feel so much for him that a possible threat on your life is diminished just from his touch.
Jungkook noticed your gaze and had to pull away, for your father was still right there and he doesn't know what he might do if you looked at him like that any longer.
"Are you ok now?" He asked, genuinely worried about you.
"Yeah, I'm fine, thanks to you." You responded, not missing the fact that Jungkook's face erupted in blush after you said that. Jungkook is gracious yet surprised that you seem okay, though he assumed that you must have faced multiple of these. This assumption causes him to feel even more guilty about his first impression of you.
"Th-that's good." He said, before realizing that your father has left the room, Jungkook was too caught up in the wonder of you that your father's absence went completely unnoticed. Which brings him to remember all the times he forgot that people were around other than just the two of you. It's a mansion full of servants and helpers, yet he's never noticed them. He's always only noticed your over encompassing presence.
Later that night when you get ready for bed with Jungkook, he insists on getting ready with you so that no one may attack you. You realize that he chooses to sleep shirtless, opting to wear nothing but red plaid pajama pants. You try to look away, you really do, but his muscled biceps, rippling abs, and glorious pecs are just too damn attention catching, it's his fault really.
"Well, night." You said quickly, trying to just go to sleep so you don't have to ogle at him any longer. You almost make your way out of the bathroom until you're stopped by your one and only, Jungkook.
"And where do you think you're going mister?" He asked you playfully.
"Uhm... to bed." You answered, confused as to why he asked that question.
"Not without me you're not." He stated matter of factly, acting as though you should have already known this, and your face erupting in blush does not go unnoticed by him, causing him to chuckle and smirk at you with that damn charming grin.
"Wh-what?" You stuttered.
"You heard me. I can't take any chances with you so I'm going to be sleeping with you." He answered plainly, though his confident facade did shake a little after he realized his poor word choice.
"But..." You tried to deflect but the words got caught in your throat. You can't believe that the same man whom you've had many wet dreams about is actually going to be sleeping in the same room as you. This is absolutely fucking insane.
"No buts, I care far too much about you to take any risks." Jungkook said casually, done talking about it and leading you into your own room, and he of course follows closely after.
You stop any kind of arguing, partly because you know it's useless but also because of what he said, he actually said he cared about you. Obviously, you knew this already, but to actually hear him say that is something else entirely. You were in awe at the statement, but the reality of the situation came flooding back in as you lay in your bed, and Jungkook didn't just mean sleeping in the same room, HE MEANT THE SAME BED!
The reality of the situation being that the man you're completely obsessed with is laying right next to you, half naked, this is literally the plot to one of your many wet dreams you've had of this man. It's like a dream come true, but also a nightmare.
Your nerves are off the charts, shaking erratically at the prospect of him actually sleeping next to you. You intentionally face your body away from his, since if you could see his face so close you'd probably faint. Jungkook notices your erratic shaking, since he's in the same fucking bed as you. He quickly springs into action, wrapping his arms around your waist and pulling your back to his chest.
"Still scared about the note." He said, not even asking thinks that must be the answer, why else would you be shaking so much, it's not like the man of your dreams is in the same bed as you, shirtless.
"Y-yeah, the note, that's what it is." You lied, since the truth would be far too difficult to come out and speak. Now could you just tell him how you feel, probably, He almost definitely feels the same way, and you do really want to be with him, but it would all be too hard. You're a rich heiress to one of the biggest fortunes in the country, and he's your bodyguard, basically your employee, it wouldn't work between you too... right?
"It's okay, I promise not to let anything bad happen to you, I don't know what I'd do if something were to happen to you." He said, trying to calm you down, going as far as to rub his hand on your side, even pulling your shirt up and touching skin. He's just trying to calm you down, why else would he be running his hand along your bare side.
Okay, you have to tell him how you feel. Just by the way he says that is enough to make your heart melt, and you're already getting hard at his touch, you breath catching as he runs his hand along your side. Your breath shakes at the skin-on-skin contact. You know you can't keep it in any longer, you can't, you have to say how you feel now. Declare your lo-
"I love you y/n." He declared, not quite out of nowhere, but certainly not from somewhere either. He said it so casually, it practically rolled off his tongue like it was the most normal thing to say to someone, like saying hello, you still notice the tenderness in how he said it. Even though he said it so casually, it's still obvious that he meant what he said. You can feel it in your soul that he really does, well, love you.
You turn around so you can see him face to face, resting your hand on his cheek and looking into his stunning eyes, "Thank god you said it first." You said, grateful that at least one of you finally declared what was so obvious.
He chuckles at your statement and continues to rub your bare side, his other coming up to hold your chin. "Does that mean..."
"It means that of course I feel the same way as Jungkook. Fuck I've loved you for so long now, it was torture to keep it in." You finally declared your own love for him.
"Then why did you?" He asked.
"I didn't hear confessions from you either." You stated, pointing out the irony of his statement.
"Fuck, that's fair." That's all he says before finally laying his lips on yours.
The kiss is delicate, practically just being a long-lasting peck, but it finally becomes a kiss when he brings in the presence of tongue. Even after he lets his tongue in your mouth, it stays delicate, until it doesn't.
The kiss becomes passionate, his tongue swirling with your own as his hands go to grip your ass tightly, pulling you closer to him as he rubs his ever-present erection with your own. You moan into the kiss which only makes him dive his tongue deeper down your mouth, exploring every millimeter of it with said tongue.
You still can't believe that this is actually happening, but if this is a dream then it better not stop. Though he's gripping your ass so tightly that if it was a dream you would have woken up already.
The kiss is fucking great but dear god do you need more than just his tongue. He senses your restlessness and acts accordingly by dividing his finger in your ass.
His finger intrudes you so quickly you can't help but moan. In fact, you moan so much that you end up breaking the kiss. Jungkook takes no mind as he just tries to pleasure you more, pumping his finger in quickly so he can get you ready for the thing that really matters.
You moan from pleasure and take it upon yourself to return the favor, taking his big cock out of his pants and into your hand. Jungkook groans at the sudden touch and happily accepts it. You quickly match the pace of your hand pumping his cock with the pace of his finger.
Jungkook then fits another one inside you, causing you to grip his dick harder for some kind of leverage, making Jungkook let out another grunt from his lips.
Jungkook pumps his two fingers in and of you more, now being knuckles deep inside and intruding easily, which lets Jungkook know that you're probably ready for the real thing.
he takes his fingers out of your hole and quickly takes his clothes off, that bodyguard training being very useful since he did it all very speedily.
He fully takes off his own pants, opens your legs for better entrance, and then rubs his cock against your rim, letting out many a moan from your lips, but that's pussy shit to what's about to come.
"You ready?" He asked, voice lustful, but he also genuinely wants you to enjoy this just as much as he will.
"Born ready." You cheekily answered, ready to make love with the man you love.
"If I ever go to fast or-"
"Fuck Love please fuck me!" You accidently yell out, Jungkook only responds with a chuckle and kisses your forehead.
"You asked for it." He said, putting his lips on yours again before finally plunging his cock into you.
He starts off by just putting in bit by bit, not wanting to hurt you or go too fast, since he was so big. You're not exactly complaining, though you want to get plowed by him you're also aware that it would hurt in ways that's not even worth it if he started going so fast now, so you settle with passionately making out with him while he slowly but surely fills your hole.
After what feels like forever, he finally bottoms out, he stays still for a bit, kissing you in hopes of distracting you from the gut splitting cock currently inside of you, before eventually moving.
His thrusts start off slow and waiting, as to now break you so soon into the relationship. He's a master at taking his time, which you kind of love, with every thrust you know he cares about you enough to at least let you walk a little next morning, but these thoughts are quickly beaten out of you with the beating his dick soon does on your ass.
Though you can still feel love in every thrust, you can tell he really loves you since he starts thrusting into you like crazy, totally filling your ass again and again with his cock.
Your moans fill the room and his grunts echo through the walls, the entire mansion is probably awake and listening to the two of you making sweet love, but neither of you care. You're both used to zoning others out and just focusing on each other, especially in Jungkook's case.
He lays his forehead against yours and looks into your eyes the entire time, though his cock is splitting you open, he still wants you to know that this is an act of love, which is why his arms are completely wrapped around your waist, holding you impossibly close.
The closeness of your bodies can't hold a candle to the closeness you feel emotionally with him, but it does help. You've never felt so connected with another person and probably will never feel so close. The way he deeply kisses you mixed with the way he's holding you, and of course the fact that he's literally physically inside of you is a big part of why the moment feels so special.
After a few more thrusts you moan ear splittingly loud as you cum all over his chest, finally feeling release.
"Can I?" He asked like the sweetheart he is, in which you immediately, to fuc- I mean loved out to speak. He smiles and grunts loudly as well, not at all as loud as you but who's counting, as he too reaches climax, filling your asshole with his hot cum.
He stays inside of you, not having to move much since you both are practically already cuddling.
And that's how you both stay, Jungkook buried inside of you while holding you tightly close to him, your head resting on his muscular chest.
"I love you y/n." He declared, holding you even closer.
"I love you too, Jungkook." You declared right back, "I'm beyond ecstatic that my soulmate is also my bodyguard."
THE END
final thoughts: tell me if you got the kiss is when there's tongue reference.
#bts#jungkook#jeon jungkook#k pop#reader#male reader#x reader#x male reader#reader smut#male reader smut#reader fluff#k pop smut#jungkook smut#k pop fluff#jungkook fluff#bts smut#bts fluff#bts fanfiction#fanfiction#k pop x reader#k pop x reader fluff#k pop x reader smut#k pop x male reader#k pop x male reader smut#k pop x male reader fluff#bts x reader#bts x reader smut#bts x reader fluff#bts x male reader#gay
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YOU BROUGHT YOUR DOG(BOY)
[I.D. seven photos of pencil drawings of marble hornets characters with dog/cat ears and tails. first is jay making a slightly worried face with cat ears, next is tim with droopy basset-hound style ears replacing his sideburns as he makes a mildly questioning look. third is alex with cat ears that are slightly pointed down and a flicking tail matching his unimpressed expression. fourth is brian who smiles with lab/retriever ears and a wagging tail, and fifth is jessica who makes a nervous face with greyhound ears and a pointed tail. image six is two doodles an a four panel comic. the doodles are of hoody with ear bumps at the side of his hood and alex hissing with flat ears. the comic starts with tim grabbing hoody by the collar and growling in his face, the next two panels are tim going "wait..." and sniffing hoody, who catches on and tries to pry himself out of tim's grip. the final panel shows tim's face in horrid realization saying "no..." the final image is a three panel comic of jay and tim post entry 74. in panel one tim helps a sleepy jay sit up while saying "alright, up you go." in panel two jay leans forward into tim, beginning to purr. tim makes a surprised and flushed expression. the final panel has tim's tail wagging rapidly as his whole face flushes and he thinks "at least he won't remember this..." while jay continues to purr. end I.D.]
Bonus stuff and rambling under the cut heehee
[I.D. a photo of pencil doodles and a screenshot of chat messages. the doodles consist of the operator with bunny ears, a full body drawing of catboy jay standing with his camera, an uneasy look on his face and tail puffed in fear, and a comparison of dogboy tim and catboy masky with an unequal sign, question marks, and a doodle of me making a confused expression going "hhhhh". the chat messages are all also sent by me and read as follows:
a drawing of tim and jay as an actual cat and dog in a standoff
damn marble hornets looks different than how i remember
(the rest are in all caps) no
no
bring him back give him back
end I.D.]
firstly, tim has caused multiple unnecessary conundrums in this scenario bc usually my catboy style has the human ears as well but i really wanted to do droopy basset hound ears for tim (to replace the sideburns and also i fell like thats more his vibe) but then the human ears would be covered by the dog ears so i had to just nix double ears entirely as well as dissonance bc tim is So dog-coded but masky is like literally a cat so like what do i do there. maybe ill just make separate catboy masky 🤭 the other thing also ties into dogboy tim bc ig kinda the whole inspo behind this is when i did my first watchthrough of the series i was CACKLING at the bit in entry 77 when tim is like "DROP IT" bc he sounds like someone scolding their dog 😭😭 which got into the conversation (hi cris) of the reason tim and jay dont get along is bc tim is dog coded and jay is cat coded, leading me to make the previously seen doodle, completely unaware of what was about to happen, and there's my reaction to That Scene in entry 80. if you read all this i award you one kiss on the forehead mwah
#lane speaks#nebulart#art#marble hornets#mh#ough these drawings have been sitting in me brain for days but i finally did em#and now my hand is tired#and yeah i did specifc dog breeds but jay and alex just get Generic Cat bc theres only like 3 visually distinct cat breeds lmao
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No Nut November Part 1
Words: 4.8k
Warnings: SMUT! You help your boyfriend Van uncover his secret submissive side… ❤️
Imagines Masterlist Main Masterlist
"What the hell did you just say?"
You're sitting in the pub with your boyfriend, huddled in closely in a small booth. You were only nipping in for a quick pint, but one pint had turned into two, which had then inevitability turned into three... and now the table in front of you is littered with glasses and you've lost count.
You don't reply straight away, giggling to yourself as you take a sip of your lager. Van eyes you with amusement over the top of his glass as he also takes a swallow.
"I said No Nut November!" You announce suddenly, and your voice comes out a lot louder than expected, travelling cross the crowded pub, drawing the attention from an elderly chap propping up the bar.
Van's eyes widen and he swallows the mouthful of lager too quickly, a hand shooting up to his mouth as he starts coughing and spluttering violently in between gales of laughter.
"What... the fuck... even... is that?" He manages in between laughing and practically choking on his drink.
You're laughing too at his comical reaction, and now you're both so loud that you've also caught the eye of a middle-aged couple sitting in the booth next to you. They eye you distastefully but you're too inebriated to care now, you're having way too much fun.
"The clue's kind of in the name..." you say, placing your empty glass down on to the table, enjoying the way Van's face scrunches in confusion as he ponders the conundrum.
He's drunk too, that daft, silly, tipsy drunk he gets that you love so much. The heavy-lidded eyes and the dopey expression and the way that his usually affectionate nature just amplifies a hundred-fold. You watch him mull over the words, nudging him teasingly.
"Do I have to spell it out? No... Nut..."
That's the lightbulb moment. His shocked expression quickly turns into a look of what can only be described as horror.
"No nut? Like no..." He pauses, his voice hushing into a dramatic whisper. "Sex?"
You nod emphatically, smiling at Van's visible panic.
"For the whole of the month? Like nothing? None at all? Not even..."
You don't let him finish, folding your arms across your chest as you speak. "No sex, no blowies, no hand-jobs... and no wanking either."
"No wanking?" Van's voice raises by at least two octaves, and his volume increases too.
You hear an audible tutting noise emanating from the booth next door so you nudge Van in the ribs, urging him to keep quiet. "Keep your voice down for gods sake!"
He shakes his head, looking distraught, draining the last of his pint before turning again to you, talking in muted tones this time. "And remind me exactly why you wanna do this again?"
You roll your eyes, despairing that he can't even recall the conversation you'd been having five minutes previously. You'd been talking about abstaining, and who copes best with the lack of sex when Van's touring. You know damn well that you're the clear winner here, but Van loves to remind you that he can get you worked up in no time when he's talking dirty down the phone to you. You never used to get off on phone sex, but since your little shopping trip to Ann Summers a few months back and the purchase of certain sex toys, you're now an eager participant. And that's not the only improvement to your sex life. All of a sudden lights out, missionary position seems almost yawn-inducing.
"I didn't actually say I wanted to do it anyway," you explain. "I simply said that you wouldn't be able to manage it."
You lean back in your seat, watching Van carefully. You think you know exactly how he's going to react and he doesn't disappoint, drawing his bottom lip in between his teeth, his brow furrowed as he considers your words. When he looks up at you there's an air of determination about him, his shoulders squared as he turns his body to full face you.
"Are you challenging me?"
You mirror his posture, smirking gleefully. "Maybe I am. But there's no way on this earth you'll manage it anyway, so it's silly even talking about it..."
You shrug, looking down, rummaging in your handbag for your purse, but Van stills you with a hand on your arm. "Hold up. Who says I can't manage it? It's just a month, that's only like four weeks yeah? Last tour was nearly six weeks when we went to America. I definitely abstained from sex whilst we were away. I could do this easy."
He has a smug, self-assured look on his face which doesn't stay put for long when you remind him of one very important rule.
"No wanking, remember?"
Then you're up and out of your seat, making for the bar, wobbling slightly as you realise just how drunk you are. You're thankful to get to the bar and you slump against it heavily, ordering another pint for Van and half a shandy for yourself this time. You know that if you don't slow down you'll soon be in the realm of 'bad decisions' where you and Van will most likely end up agreeing to attend some tacky club night after the pub, thinking it's the best idea of your lives. It happens occasionally, and it's all good in the moment when you're dancing on the tables, miming to 90s hip hop and knocking back the tequila slammers, but when you wake up the next morning with the hangover from hell and no recollection of the past twelve hours it all changes.
You collect your drinks when they've been poured, slurping from the tops of the too-full glasses before you start back over to Van, watching him watching you as you move closer. His eyes slip down to roam over your figure as you walk, and you purposely add an extra sway to your hips, seeing his eyes glint with hunger. You laugh to yourself. He's so predictable. He'll never manage this. The man is like a walking hard-on.
Van waits until you're sitting back down and you've settled into your seat before he slips the arm that's been resting on the back of the seat down to your shoulders. "So... what's in this for me then? This so-called no nut thing? Surely I'll get something out of it other than blue balls?"
You giggle at his description, smiling up at him. "Well... it'll show your strength of mind and your willpower. And... you know... I guess if you manage to pull it off then I'll have to like... reward you or something."
You inject a sultriness into your voice, pouting slightly, pushing your shoulders back so Van's faced with the alluring sight of your cleavage. Predictably his eyes slip down, lingering longingly. You place two fingers under his chin, tilting his head up, smirking at him.
"Of course you'd have to follow the rules. No cheating."
He looks right back at you with a sexy little smirk of his own. "I reckon if the reward was tempting enough I could manage it. So what's it gonna be?"
His free hand slides across the upholstered seating and up on to your thigh. You feel a little tingle of excitement shoot through you. You love the flirtations that you and Van have. There's plenty of teasing, tempting touches and smutty insinuations, both of you drawing out the moment and ramping up the tension. You'll carry on before the two of you can't stand it any longer, then it's a quick dash for a taxi back home or an exciting hookup somewhere very public and oh-so daring. Either way your sex life is never dull, but you just can't think up anything enticing enough to reel Van in this particular time.
But maybe you don't have to. Maybe you don't have to try at all. Maybe the mystery of it will be the biggest temptation in itself.
"Maybe..." you begin, fixing him with a seductive look as you feel his hand inching further up your thigh under the table. "Maybe I'll let you do anything you like to me."
"Anything?" His eyebrows shoot up and you can practically see the x-rated thoughts scrolling through his head. "Anything at all?"
"Well yeah... I mean... within reason," you reply quickly, your own thoughts running wildly, excitement and a tinge of nerves simmering in your gut. Then you remember what the conditions of the challenge are and you relax a little, almost certain that Van has already as good as lost.
"So what about it then? You up for it?" You speak with more confidence this time, spreading your legs slightly, allowing Van's fingers to travel even further under the secrecy of the table.
"Fuck, you drive me crazy ya know? Yeah... yeah I'll do it."
His fingertips draw small patterns on the bare skin of your thighs, just below the hem of your skirt, sending shivers through you.
"Well... you better make the most of it tonight then. It's October 31st you know..."
He leans even closer and you can smell the faint scent of his cologne, feel his breath warm on your ear as he whispers into it. "And what happens... if I don't manage to do it? What then? What if I go and break the rules?"
A dark part of you stirs and starts to come to life. It blooms inside you, filling your head with sinful thoughts, a switch in the dynamics of your usual sexual encounters. You just don't know whether Van will be down for it.
You fix him with a steady gaze, your arousal rising as his fingertips dance along the hem of your skirt, straying underneath.
"Maybe then I'd have to punish you..."
You watch your words reach him, watch them sink in, his eyes widening for a second before they darken, simmering with lust, that heavy, needy way he looks at you that makes your heart pound. The thought flits through your mind that you must be mad to be offering up a challenge whereby you'll have to forego his passionate touches for a whole month, the feel of his fingers, his tongue, his cock, every single part of him that makes you feel the way that he does. The way he worships you like you're some kind of goddess, bringing you to your peak over and over before he even thinks about his own pleasure. But then you imagine how good it'll feel when you've held off for so long, how desperate and hungry he'll be for you and it sparks a fire in you, wicked thoughts of him being completely under your control, eager and needy... and all for you.
And it's not actually November yet... Not for a few more hours.
"Come on," you tell him, sliding your hand into his just as it's about to creep under the hem of your skirt, going to rise up out of your seat, urging him to follow you.
"Huh? But we've not finished our drinks yet. Where... oh... okay..."
Van's puzzlement quickly fades as he clocks the hungry look on your face. It must be pooling in your eyes... it's certainly throbbing between your legs, so much so that you don't want to lose your momentum having to wait for a taxi to transport you both home. You turn into the short corridor that leads to the pub toilets, Van trailing behind you, not even pausing even though you know you're risking being caught as you push through the door to the ladies toilets.
"Y/N..." Van mutters, and you feel resistance as he pulls back, bringing you to a stop just as you're about to step over the threshold. "Not in here... what if someone comes in?"
"No one'll know if we're quiet. C'mon... where's your sense of adventure? You're always dragging me off to do it in risky places!"
He hesitates for all of a few seconds before quickly glancing back to check the coast's clear and then urging you forwards. You both stumble, laughing, into the small room, immediately heading towards the bank of narrow cubicles lining the back wall. You take the first one, diving inside with Van hot on your heels. He turns to slide the lock across and you're already reaching for his hips, impatient, swivelling him around and pushing him back with force, causing his back to crash hard against the door.
He lets out a groan from the impact and you're just about to apologise but then you see the look on his face, the need etched into his features, and you think that maybe he wasn't voicing his discomfort as much as his arousal at your show of dominance. He reaches his hands to curl around your waist but you instinctively grab him by the wrists, watching his reaction carefully as you push them back firmly against the door. He lets you, his breathing deepening as he tips his head back against the wood. You push yourself up on your tiptoes, your lips going to his neck which you cover with kisses all over, starting gentle but getting progressively harsher, sure to leave bruises.
"Fucking 'ell..." you hear him utter under his breath, his arms flexing under your grip but he doesn't attempt to break free. "What's got into you? I like it."
"I want you... right now," you tell him, surprised by the commanding edge in your voice, feeling a strange kind of empowerment as you finally release him and begin hungrily tearing at the buttons of his shirt. One pops off and falls to the floor in your haste to uncover more bare skin. Then your fingers are deftly unfastening his belt buckle and ripping open the fastenings of his jeans, one hand slipping inside to encircle his rapidly stiffening cock.
He sucks in a gasped breath through gritted teeth as you grip him firmly, your fingers sliding down his length whilst your other hand pushes his jeans and underwear down. You feel drunk on desire, a feral kind of need overtaking you as your hands dart up to grab the edges of his shirt, pulling him forward and manoeuvring him backwards and pushing him down on to the closed toilet seat. Van just complies, his eyes fixed on yours as he looks up at you, glimmering with an awe-like wonder as he finally speaks.
"Right now you can do whatever you like to me babe... I'm all yours."
"I just fucking want you... okay?" You say, hitching up your skirt around your hips and hooking your fingers around the waistband of your panties, tugging them down your hips and stepping out of them, discarding them on the floor.
His cock's already standing proud and he looks delectable sitting there ready and waiting for you, a flush on his cheeks and his full pink lips slightly parted, so inviting that you waste no time in mashing your own lips against his, swirling your tongue around his as you rest your hands on his shoulders to steady yourself as you straddle his lap.
"I love it when you take charge," he smirks up at you when you finally break away from the kiss and you're pushing his shirt back off his shoulders. "Just want you to ruin me."
You can't help but giggle even though his request has made you feel things, a glow of desperate heat inside you. "Ruin you? Oh god you old romantic!"
He grins back, his hands smoothing down over your bare hips under your hitched up skirt, fingers curling tightly around them, sliding you further up his lap.
"It's not all about romance though is it? Sometimes you just want someone to take control and fuck your brains out!"
"I can definitely do that!" You reply, grasping for his cock, the feel of him rock hard and eager for you spurring you on. You want him and you want him now. Not slow, sensual love-making, taking the time to delight in his touch and planting kisses all over his skin, you just want to feel him inside you, all of him... every delicious inch of him.
You hover over his lap, guiding his cock to your entrance, the sigh already building in you as you begin to lower yourself down, feeling his thickness stretching you out. You temporarily forget that you're in a very public place, a loud moan bursting from you as you slide yourself completely down, the feeling of sudden fullness making your eyes roll back.
"Shit... feels so good," Van groans as you come to a rest completely in his lap, your bodies fused as one.
He bucks his hips, eager for you to move but you press down on him, stilling him, moving your own hips just ever so slightly. You can tell he's desperate for you, he needs the friction of you grinding on him, his fingers tightening their grip on your hips, enough to leave furrows on your skin. You just smile down on him, a mix of sweet and sultry, teasing him by slowly rotating your pelvis, not giving him what he wants... not just yet.
"C'mon... want you," he breathes, looking up at you with hungry eyes, his hips twitching.
"Oh you do, do you?" You purr. "You think you deserve this?"
You're enjoying this, the heady feeling of being in control, soaking up his need. You flick your hips quickly before stilling them again, drawing a moan from him which tapers off into a whine.
"Fuck Y/N... please..."
And it's the way he says it, his voice thick with desperation, the pleading look in his eyes that stirs a dark part in you that relishes the power you hold over him. You wonder how far you can take this, how it would feel to make him really beg for it.
"I don't know Van... I mean maybe you don't want it that bad..."
You emphasise your words, drawing them out slowly with a smirk, your hips lazily circling, giving him a taste of pleasure but without the pressure he needs. His eyes are glazed over with lust, yearning as he looks up at you like you can make all of his dreams come true.
"Please baby… please... I want you so bad..."
The teasing smile on your lips tells him all he needs to know. He'll get his pleasure but if you want to take your sweet damn time he'll just have to suck it up. It's your pleasure that's of utmost importance here. You reach up a hand, brushing his hair back from his face, cooing at him in a soft voice.
"What do you want... do you want this?"
You buck your hips at him harshly, just once before you press down on him again, gasping yourself from the sensation. He groans, his mouth falling agape. Your hand smooths against his hair, your fingers twisting through it, winding it tightly into a fist.
"Fuck yes..."
"Yes... what?" You tease, yanking his head back with force, a sudden movement that has an impassioned groan bursting from him, confirmation that this is turning him on just as much, if not more than you.
"Yes... please... oh fuck please Y/N... just want you to fucking use me..."
His words shock you, arousing you beyond belief, spurring you on, your hips grinding torturously slowly against him. You pull his head further back to expose his neck, sucking and biting a trail across his skin until his hips are bucking and he's letting out needy whines. His fingers are digging even harder into your hips now, insistently so, his breath coming in harsh pants as you thrust your own hips again and again.
Part of you could go on like this all nigh but it's not just torturous for Van. Your need is growing by the second, simmering uncontrollably as another thrust creates a delicious friction against your clit as your bodies collide.
"Gonna fuck you now," you whisper into his ear, catching and nipping his lobe in your teeth as you pull back to look at him, the purplish blooms of bruising that litter his pale skin, his pupils blown wide and clouded over with lust.
You let your hips pull back before thrusting back down, moving with as much force as you can muster, one hand gripping at his shoulders to steady yourself, the other still caught in his hair. Desperate, frantic groans fall from his lips as you set a fast pace right from the start, his cock hitting a spot deep inside you at every thrust which has you gasping breathlessly. You just ride him even harder, slamming your hips against his, the harsh sounds of your skin connecting filling the small cubicle.
You know he won't last long, his face screwed up in bliss, his eyes rolling back, needy grunts and gasps spilling forth. He's always been vocal in your love-making but you don't think you've ever heard him this loud before, it's like you've tapped into some primal need in him to be used and fucked like this.
At some point you're dimly aware of sounds outside your cubicle, shuffling footsteps, a door slamming, a toilet flushing, but you're fuelled by the same need as Van, desperate to reach your peak now. You reach down a hand to increase the pressure on your clit, your fingertip sliding over your slick skin, bringing you closer and closer to the high that's just out of reach.
"Fuck... fuck... FUCK..."
Van hisses out curses through gritted teeth, his body going taut below you as you slam on to him again and again, relentlessly as your own climax approaches.
You can feel him start to shudder beneath you a moment before he spills into you and you pull back to watch him, mesmerised as the intensity of his orgasm consumes him. The divine sight of him losing it drives you to your own peak, your fingers flicking quickly over your clit until you're a quivering wreck yourself, still driving yourself on to Van even though he's now a trembling mess from the sensitivity.
"Holy fucking shit!" He breathes as you finally come to a stop, panting uncontrollably, pressing up against his warm body, burying your face into the crook of his neck. "That was somethin' else!"
A warm glow of satisfaction engulfs you as you finally peel yourself away to look at him, sated and happy. "I don't know what came over me!" You laugh, taking in his blissed out expression.
"I don't fucking know but I am here for it babe... 100 percent! You were like a fucking animal!"
His lips curl into the widest grin and you can't help the loud laugh that bubbles up in your chest, bursting forth until you're both sniggering, even more so as you start to manoeuvre yourself off Van's lap, groaning at the sticky mess that immediately starts dripping down your thighs.
"Oh god, look at the state of us!"
In fact you're both so caught up in your tipsy, post-fuck haze that you don't pay any heed to the toilet door opening again, much louder this time, crashing back on its hinges. It's only when the loud, stern voice booms out that you both freeze, eyes wide and panicked, mouths wide in embarrassed horror.
"EXCUSE ME! YOU TWO! WE'VE HAD COMPLAINTS FROM THE OTHER CUSTOMERS!"
A hand shoots up to your mouth in an instant to stifle a horrified gasp as you look at Van who's expression quickly changes from shock to a gleeful kind of mischievous delight, sniggering like a naughty schoolboy who's been caught smoking behind the bikesheds at school.
"Oh... errr... sorry mate. We... errr... we'll just get going then..."
"Shhhh!" You hiss urgently, scrabbling for your panties off the floor, even though it's much too late to worry about being quiet.
The voice rings out again, even sterner this time. "Yes, I suggest you do... and may I remind you that this is a LADIES toilet..."
"Yeah... shit... yeah sorry... I... errr... got a bit confused. When ya gotta go, you gotta go though, right?"
"Van!" You whisper a warning, digging him sharply in the ribs, urging him to shut up as he tries to swallow down another snigger, clumsily fastening his jeans and buttoning up his shirt as fast as he can.
There's a disgusted kind of huffing sound before you hear footsteps and the sound of the door swinging shut, and you breathe out a sigh of relief, smoothing down your clothes and reaching for the lock on the door.
"Fuck's sake how embarrassing!" You groan. "I hope there's like a fire escape or something we can sneak out of!"
Van's still laughing, pushing you forwards gently as you edge cautiously out of the cubicle. "Nah, we've actually got to walk back through the pub to get out!"
He sounds much less traumatised than you at the thought of facing the poor unsuspecting person who was privy to your sordid toilet shag, and you can already feel your cheeks aflame as you imagine the disapproving looks you'll get.
"Bloody hell I'm never coming in here again!" You whine as Van pushes past you in the short hallway that leads back into the pub, taking the lead and grasping the door handle, striding in like he's walking out on to the stage for a performance, full of his usual confidence.
"Don't think we'll be welcome anyway love," he chuckles.
You shuffle along quickly behind him, trying to make yourself look as inconspicuous as possible even though you swear you can feel several sets of hostile eyes burning into you. "Hurry up, just get going!" You urge, butting into him, head bent down, studying the pattern on the carpet as you both make for the exit.
There's no cheery farewell by the pub landlord as you both file out of the door, Van with a huge shit-eating grin on his face and you blushing and shame-faced beside him as you come to a stop in the cold October's night chill.
"Thank god we're out of there! I've never been so embarrassed in all my life!" You shake your head, cringing as you fan your glowing cheeks, feeling a smile simmering that you can't control as Van bends over double with a huge gale of laughter.
"Your face!" He gasps, clutching his belly, uncontrollable now with his laughter, causing your giggles to start up. "Anyway... this is all your fault. If you hadn't been so insatiable..."
"Fuck off!" You laugh, landing a well-aimed slap on his upper arm which he yelps at playfully. "You were well up for it!"
"I always am with you... can't get enough of ya!"
He catches you around the waist, drawing you in. You pretend to resist for a moment before you give in, still laughing, letting him envelope you in a warm embrace which staves off the chilly breeze that's whipped up around you.
"Well... I'm glad you enjoyed it as that's it now!" You bring up your wrist to check your watch, calculating that by the time you've made your way home, November won't be far away.
"Wha..." he begins, and then you see the realisation dawn on his face. "Oh, right! The No Nut November thing. Ahh shit... I forgot about that... but it's fine... no problem... I can handle it."
He nods emphatically, a glint in his eye, still on a high from your latest encounter which makes you laugh inside. He might be confident now whilst he's still coming down from your sleazy toilet encounter but how will he feel when hours turn into days and days turn into weeks and he has to abstain for all that time? He'll never manage it.
"Well, we'll just see about that shall we?"
He scoffs at your smug grin, pulling you against his body even tighter. "Yeah, we will. Honestly love, if you think I'm gonna lose this bet you're wrong. It's gonna be worth it anyway... just gotta think up my reward... oh it's gonna be good, I can promise you that."
He dips his head down to plant a warm kiss on your lips, pulling back to reveal the seductive smile you're wearing as your thoughts stray to your own wicked plans. "Meanwhile I'll just be plotting your punishment... for when you fail."
You emphasise your words, letting them roll slowly off your tongue, coated in the promise of something dark and sultry. You can see the intrigue in his eyes even though his competitive streak won't let him give in.
"Not gonna happen!" He smirks, and you both laugh, kissing again, finally breaking away as Van catches your hand in his as you start your walk home.
Read Part 2
If you were wondering where my inspiration came for this fic, it was this ask I got… I’ve written 5 parts so far so I’ll upload the rest soon xxx
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P.G. Wodehouse characters on panel shows
Because I had A Thought in the jerver (Jeeves x Wooster server) and had to expand it to Many Thoughts, owing to my normalness about both Wodehouse and britcom :)
Long & incredibly niche post (x"D) under the cut!
Preface: Characters covered vary and I may not be entirely accurate as I have not consumed as much Wodehouse as I'd like. Polite discussion entirely welcome (and, in fact, desired)!
QI
Jeeves would do well fact-wise but, owing to the fact that he does not watch the show and thus does not understand the format, would, on attempting to make a joke, be klaxoned to hell and back (possibly via goading by Alan). Unless he very carefully managed to dodge the goading he would not win and would be very bitter about it
The Elves would absolutely adore him btw. There'd be a behind the scenes photo of him looking puzzled/slightly scared while the Elves who are there on filming days all pose around him and grin at the camera
Would never forget to use his buzzer (regardless of how embarrassing it is) because he feels bad about interrupting. Would be very much unnerved by Stephen (obviously) and perhaps a little intimidated by how flamboyant he is. Aisling Bea would like him I think
Wooster would have no idea what was going on but would be endearing enough to make up for it entirely. Sort of like Johnny Vegas. He would have to be stopped forcibly from going on long rambling anecdotes a la Gyles Brandreth. If the host is Stephen he will not be paying any attention to anything being said the entire evening. Might win entirely by accident because he's saying nothing remotely relevant & thus is never klaxoned. (Though tbh he might have a heart attack before even starting the show on account of seeing a man who appears pretty much to be Jeeves wearing colour!)
Would get along well with Bill Bailey I think—agents of chaos the both of them. Alan would make fun of Wooster for being posh (a la the way the panel usually makes fun of Stephen). Would do very well on live demos. Stephry would adore him & he would not know what to do with it ("why is campier Jeeves so enamoured of me?"). Sandi would LOVE him. Might bring a blue whale plushie along for emotional support
Ukridge (and here my Wodehouse knowledge starts to thin) would very confidently be very incorrect but would be so charismatic about it that the Elves would forget to klaxon him until he was done speaking. Almost Rhod Gilbert-y levels of accidentally-on-purpose annoying (see: Rhod claiming that it gets totally dark at night in Denmark for like 5 minutes). Gyles Brandreth-levels of ability to talk at length. He starts spontaneously filibustering in the middle of the episode
8oo10cdc
(A.K.A. 8 out of 10 Cats Does Countdown, but the full acronym is so much more fun)
Jeeves wins. Obviously. He would be guest team captain I think, and he would absolutely carry. Jon would be awkward the whole episode because he's being outperformed by this weird posh guy. The jokes about Jimmy being weird and non-expressive and android-like would be redirected at Jeeves and he would just kind of stare blankly at them
His mascot would be something very simple or something very strange/non-humorous (like. Not even a lucky fancy pen, just a fancy pen that writes well that he can use for the working-out). He'd get the conundrum immediately
If Joe Wilkinson was on to do A Bit you'd be able to see him looking confused in the background the entire time
Wooster is hopeless. Maybe if he's on a team with Jon or Jeeves he'd be able to scrape some points but, realistically, he's drawing on his paper the whole time. He takes to the mascot-ing with abject glee & does very well with that. Panel is not sure whether to make fun of Jimmy or Wooster for being posh. Russell Howard would like him
Would be delighted by a Joe cameo. Would be very polite when requesting his letters and/or numbers. Would delight Susie Dent
Ukridge is in Dictionary Corner fucking shit up. If he knows how to work PowerPoint then he's got a PowerPoint to back up his little bit of standup; if not he's got hand-drawn posters. Nobody is quite sure what he's talking about. There's something about ungulates in there. Possibly a mention of cellular respiration. He spends the whole episode asking Jimmy for money. He gets on with Joe.
Corky, for reasons* that go entirely unexplained sits quietly next to Ukridge in Dictionary Corner for the whole episode. He is not mentioned by name once. People in the YouTube comments are asking who the weird silent guy is & if anyone else can see him & if it's some avant-garde Bit that they're doing. Someone says they wish that they'd've tried this Bit out with Jimmy
(*He's emotional support)
Archie Moffam starts crying
Mock the Week
Wooster is entirely unfamiliar with current events. Lends a Milton Jones air to the whole panel. Dressed similarly to Ed Byrne; they are both made fun of for wearing waistcoats
Jeeves is not asked onto the show because he would start doing actual fully-fledged political commentary and being so good at it that nobody would feel comfortable interrupting him
Ukridge would have either Egg Scramble (i.e. Ed Gamble) or Milton Jones vibes for reasons I cannot explain. Would get distracted by the flies & start trying to catch them in his hands
Corky is too soft-spoken to get a word in edgewise
Would I Lie To You?
Jeeves has an excellent poker face & ability to distinguish truths from lies, rendering him excellent at parlour games. Unfortunately he does not understand what there is to be enjoyed in them & as such is only invited on for one episode. He does get into a good little argument with David about something horribly pedantic, though. Also Rob makes fun of him by doing his O.O face into camera and Jeeves entirely misses it
Wooster is great at telling stories but horrible at lying. Everyone loves having him on because he tells a captivating story but it's so so easy to tell when he's lying. Might team up with Lee to annoy David. Rob really likes him. Starts spinning on his chair when they're doing pick-ups, distracting everyone
Ukridge is pretty good at playing. His comedic rant abilities rival David's, except he's not actually really trying to be comedic. All his stories end up being about Schemes & he writes them down during the episode planning to try them. People think this is a bit. It is not.
Only Connect
Jeeves is far too literally-minded for the connecting board but he does remarkably well on the rest of it. Victoria pokes fun at him the entire episode for being posh. He does not notice
Wooster's mind works in such mysterious circuitous ways that he's actually rather good at the connecting board. Unfortunately he is bollocks at the rest of it
Big Fat Quiz
Jeeves does not do very well. Too much pop culture for him
Wooster also does not do very well. His mind is like a sieve except the sieve has very big holes. Or maybe even no holes tbh. So basically his mind is like a sieve if you took the mesh out and all you have left is the metal loop around the top. Essentially he remembers nothing about anything. He brings homemade* sandwiches for the snacking segment. He is goofy & delightful enough that he does quite well be he is not invited back on account of performing so terribly. He does wear a spiffing outfit for the occasion though
(*i.e. Jeeves-made)
Ukridge does surprisingly well. He does start talking about his schemes though. He tries to get Jimmy in on them. He does not succeed
Corky is apparently the only chap who reads the newspapers. He does quite well!
Reggie Pepper also reads the newspapers but he is too busy being inexplicably hot while phoning people from bed so he only gets the barebones of most stories
Taskmaster
(I don't know if this really counts as a panel show, but what the hell.)
Jeeves takes everything literally and is very polite to Alex during all of the tasks. His prize tasks are almost all underwhelming except for one that is accidentally genius. He is so single-mindedly focused during studio tasks that he looks like he is about to murder someone the entire time. Surprise tasks/extra rules that he didn't notice prompt him to stare blankly into the middle distance. Greg is baffled by and attracted to him in equal measure throughout the season. The fanbase is very starkly divided on him. He probably wins the series but not many episodes
Wooster is a sort of Mike Wozniak figure. Endearingly baffled the entire time. Moves in an odd but captivating manner. Committed to the bit. Starts telling anecdotes while he's meant to be doing tasks. Absolutely delights Greg. Is probably lifted up in a studio session at least once (a la Jacaster)
Archie Moffam continues crying
Ukridge wears his mackintosh to studio sessions. He is overly familiar with Alex, who looks despairingly into the camera every time he is manhandled or asked to help with a Scheme. Every prize task is either an opportunity to get Greg in on a Scheme, or to offload things he does not need from previous unsuccessful (i.e. all) Schemes. He gets second place and is pleased as punch about it
That's about all I have at the present moment. Perhaps I'll update with more characters once I've ventured further into the House of Wode. Tootle-pip for now!
#me.txt#britcom#pg wodehouse#jeeves and wooster#taskmaster#QI#ukridge#james corcoran#archie moffam#bertie wooster#reginald jeeves#8oo10cdc#only connect#wilty#would i lie to you#reggie pepper#tm#big fat quiz#mock the week#I am very aware of the lack of women in this post and I am sorry#In my defence I have read like 3 stories#(j takes charge; e. young gussie; dog college)#and there haven't Really been women in any of them#besides various aunts i suppose but they're not really fleshed out enough for me to know how they'd do on My Shows#anyway. This might be something
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Worldbuilding: West Down Jongno Boulevard
Here’s one reason I get hardcopy references whenever possible. It’s much, much easier to have two books open at the same time while you compare each reference. Especially their maps. In this case, Flowering Plums & Curio Cabinets and Korean History in Maps, where I’m comparing their various maps of Hanyang (modern-day Seoul) and the information relating to those maps.
That bit in the Kindle sample of Flowering Plums is why I got the book in the first place. It goes into descriptions of where yangban, merchants, and commoners lived, and where various kinds of shops were. The Korean History in Maps has less details in the text, but has three maps of the area I’m looking at; one of Hanyang as a whole, one of the area leading to Gyeongbok Palace, and one of a major intersection with labeled shops on Jongno Boulevard, the main street running from Donul Gate (the Great West Gate) to Heunginji Gate (the Great East Gate).
Yes, that intersection will be important. Particularly since it runs down to the Gaecheon, a shallow river through the city that eventually flowed into the Han.
...And this is a reason I check multiple sources, because the name on the river in the Korean History is Cheonggye Stream (Cheonggyecheon). Likewise in Flowering Plums, though they use a much different Romanization. Which is the modern name of the river in Seoul.
Ordinarily, where two history books matched, I’d take that as a given. But. Wikipedia had a mention that the Cheonggye Stream is currently undergoing restoration, bringing it back to the surface after it was paved over during the Korean War and later decades. And it notes that in the early Joseon Dynasty this river was the Gaecheon. You see the conundrum.
On the other hand, Wikipedia.
So I went looking for sources on this restoration. And found research paper abstracts. That likewise say, yep, Gaecheon.
Thankfully I’m writing an alternate history that diverged centuries before the story even starts. So I’m going to lean on my ecological preferences and come down on the side of the people actually restoring the river to have the right name.
(Seriously, if you want the specific history of any stream, forest, or ecological area in general, talk to the people who live with it, conserve it, and try to fix things that went wrong. They have a vested interest in getting their facts right.)
And I know. I know how silly that sounds. Two books, a dozen websearches, Wikipedia, and at least ten research paper abstracts. Way too much overkill for one river name.
...But darn it, it matters. This is the river that brings good feng shui to Hanyang, and draws evil influences away. This is a waterway used for transport and moving goods - not all of them legal. This is a place to spy frogs, catch fish... and possibly be caught by monsters.
This is an alternate history and I have to get some things very close to right. With enough differences that a reader who gets curious and pokes around can see the divergence.
Flop.
And maybe now the bunnies will at least let me start making a more detailed sketch of this sticky “track down monsters” bit.
Slightly related note: All of you who find swords Shiny and are curious about Damascus/ wootz steel? This is the time period it was being made. And it was traded east as well as west - scholars in the Ming Dynasty knew it as bin iron.
When Jason realizes that, possibly by looking at a particular cultivator’s sword, he is going to squee.
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Ever since I have moved an art blog over to tumblr, I have been sort of feeling out how these two blogs are going to operate/ interact with one another and from that I have gleaned some personal and interesting stuff? (At least I think so!)
My art blog is for my art, friends art, art I happen to find and really enjoy, and some bits and bobs that I collect like a magpie. But it’s mostly art I have made or others art pieces. Some chitchat with friends too! Within that art, bubble? I feel safer posting fan art here, non-monster stuff, etc.
My writing blog is the horde of, writing of course, doodles, day dreams and rambling. In the long run it doesn’t feel as polished as the artsy one, but it feels a lot more personal. This blog feels very much like… my heart is on my sleeve, or the cross section into my mind in the moment. Where I talk freely about whatever and feel more inclined to post those self indulgent doodles or thoughts.
I have yet to come up with a good idea for posting work back and forth, and how to… watermark it? Originally I watermarked each piece with two seperate marks because they were on two different platforms. But I don’t know if I should put all my finished art on the Ghoulie side and then reblog from there, (adding poetry, writing, more indepth comments) Or if I should continue making seperate posts with corresponding watermarks. Doing things seperate takes a chunk of time, funny enough it’s not really because of adding two seperate watermarks, but actually uploading the pieces to tumblr. XD
Has anyone dealt with this conundrum? And what did you do to solve it? I never really had to think about it before because my writing wasn’t something I shared. Up until only a few years ago I only really ever wrote rps/stories with close friends. And oh man sharing the stories I wrote on my own?? That was even slimmer. 😵💫
Merging the art and writing arenas completely together feels unfair, because I do draw more than monsters, robots, and aliens (albiet it’s very slim) and I have friends who don’t like nsfw (A topic I tend to tread on lightly with sharing those kind of pieces, but I still enjoy writing them enough that I flag this blog to keep those works here.)
And gosh worrying about AI, and wondering if it’s safe to post writing on here is another whole thing that I don’t wanna touch with a ten foot pole at the moment! 🤣 But if anyone has suggestions, I would be happy to read them!
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You know if we wanna be perfectly fair to the show the games themselves show a portraial of the Church that is mostly negative
We've talked about Sypha being taken in by monks and accepted as a vampire hunter by the Church...but was she really accepted?
I mean she was forced to wear robes and hide her gender to throw people off from her being a witch (presumably), which tells me that the Church only "accepted" her as a weapon to be used, not as her own human being that would like to live free from persecution. At best you could say that the monastery that took her in was being genuine but there's nothing to imply that the larger institution saw her as anything more than a tool, especially given the witch trials at the time
Leon had to give up his title to go rescue Sera because otherwise the Church wouldn't allow to go because they were more interested in fighting heretics than go rescue a kidnapped girl
Vincent as a priest is depicted as being somewhat greedy and a little seedy
I'm pretty sure that both Isaac and Hector faced persecution and Rosaly was killed because of it
Yeah the Church often helps out against Dracula....but it kind of has to or face destruction
So I don't have issues with the show's CHURCH BAD from a principled standpoint since the Church has been, and in many ways still is, bad.
The issue is how hard and often it beats you over the head with it and how there isn't a single religious person that isn't depicted as either evil or stupid, not to mention characters like Trevor, who in Castlevania 3 was seen praying at an altar, being turned into a cynical atheist.
In the games God exists, the holy items that the Belmonts, who are presumably all believers, use draw their powers from Him essentially and we are explicitly told in the Sorrow games that Chaos and the Dark Lord exist as counterbalances to God. The games never seem to criticise the notion of believing in God, just the way said belief is institutionalised.
The only time God is ever called into question is by Mathias for Elisabetha's death, which calls into question the usual conundrum of "but if God is good why are there bad things?", and he feels like a fool for ever fighting for God...but he's also depicted as being in the wrong with how he....expresses his disappontment. Meanwhile Leon certainly is never depicted as being an idiot or in the wrong for simply being a believer, only for being a former Crusader Knight fighting heretics for the Church aka an often corrupt institution.
Hell Rinaldo, an Alchemist and technically heretic, also believes in God given his description of alchemy, and he's a 100% positive figure, just one who has seemingly suffered persecution by the Church as indicated by the way he approached Leon at first
I actually like the scene with "Blue Fang" where he says that God does not love people like the corrupt bishop and does not recognise himself in their actions. That is a much more nuanced take!
...where did it go past season 1?
You said everything, lol
We know that Church Bad. This is not a new take. Church Bad in real life, Church Even More Bad in the time period CV3/the show takes place, and Church Morally Questionable in the games too for all the reasons you said. Yes, in short, you can say that in the games God is good and so are the people who genuinely believe in Him like the Belmonts, but the Church as an institution has caused many problems. (although I like that it's the Pope himself who finds Trevor in CV3, when his family was shunned by common humans - there seems to be a misconception that it was the Church who exiled them)
NFCV simply doesn't add anything new, and beats on this point as if we didn't get it by the time the bishops all celebrate to themselves after executing Lisa. All the church people are evil, and the humans are purposefully kept ignorant by the Church, unlike vampires who are superior because they retain old knowledge and that's why Dracula has a whole magitek castle complete with electricity and teleporter instead of a creature of Chaos at his command. It's just boring. Berserk treated the same argument in a less "reddit athetist" way.
And I have mentioned the water-blessing zombie bishop a lot of times, I know, not my fault it's so fucking stupid. But it says a lot that fans point at it and instead of seeing it as a lore-breaking deus ex machina, they see clever commentary that the bishop is more "holy" as an undead creature possessed by a demon.
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20 Questions for Fic Writers
Thanks so much for tagging me in this, @acetonitril! Sorry for the delay, but I wanted to really think out my answers.
1. How many works do you have on AO3?
12 currently! This is my first year actually posting fics and I'm happy with my progress.
2. What’s your total AO3 word count?
118,159! There's a chance I'll get another fic finished soon, too . . . And maybe I'll be able to sneak in something short and smutty before the end of the year.
3. What fandoms do you write for?
All I've published is Top Gun. I'm not going to be surprised if I end up writing soapghost for the COD games. Y'all have some superb writers and artists that keep drawing me in. Historically, I started some small 00Q and Destiel stuff back in ye olde golden days. There's a dramione fic from on my old computer from years back that was like 30k before I stopped.
4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?
Kissed By The Sun
Falling Into Place
A Safe Place to Land
Running on Empty
Spare
5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?
Yes! If someone was kind enough to make the effort to leave a comment, I want to make sure that they know I saw it and that I appreciate them for letting me know what they think. I don't generally reply the same day, but I try to reply within a couple of days. I love hearing what readers think and I hope that me engaging back only encourages more comments
6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
Hmmm I have a couple. Mission Report is a whole pile of angst just as a concept. It's short and sad all the way through imo. Spare ends on a really big cliffhanger which can be read as sad; a character is left in a really fragile medical state. Snow Day is so sweet but then the end is just a gut-punch. You could say that I like to temper fluff and steamy stuff with sadness and angst.
7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
If the ending isn't sad, it's usually pretty happy. Or at least hopeful. I think I'll give happiest ending award to A Cookie Conundrum. It's so silly and light, no angst.
8. Do you get hate on fics?
None that I've ever seen. But I'm still new and I write safe fics as far as subject and pairings.
9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?
Yeah lol. I'm still getting used to writing it. What kind? Pretty standard MLM fic smut. I'd like to write harder edged stuff in the future, but right now it tends to be really loving stuff.
10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?
I haven't. That's not something I'm super into as a reader or as a writer. Never say never - it'll only take the right combo to get me going I'm sure, but it hasn't happened yet.
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?
Not that I've seen. That is a worry of mine.
12. Have you ever had a fic translated?
No. I'm still new and I don't see that Top Gun has a lot of fics that get translated (I could be very wrong and missing out)
13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?
No I haven't.
14. What’s your all time favorite ship?
All time ever favorite? Yeesh. Uhhhhh I'll cop out and say that I enjoy a similar dynamic to my favorites - they're highly competent in their field but often less confidant about romance, there's a degree of imbalance in the relationship (rank, age gap, experience, etc), and I'm an absolute sucker for a character that doesn't let anyone else emotionally close who lets That Guy in.
15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?
I don't think I'm going to finish any of the old fic I mentioned, like from years ago. If I pick up those fandoms and pairings again, I'll start over.
16. What are your writing strengths?
God I don't know. I consider myself someone with a good grasp on grammar and how things Should be written as far as that goes (please go ahead and point out all of my mistakes, I know they're everywhere) which helps with readability. Comments repeatedly point out that even my smut is very tender and emotional. I tend to write characters affirming each other and being very giving lovers. I'm sure that says nothing about me as a person. I really like to dig into missing scenes to expand the emotional complexity of the canon story.
17. What are your writing weaknesses?
Knowing when and how to end a story. One of those writing posts that go around here mentioned going back a couple of paragraphs when you get stuck, which has been so true for me. But endings are still so hard. Writing sex is still weird, too, and I can get stuck on a single scene for days. Coming up with titles is also so, so hard. Occasionally one will appear and I'll run with it, but usually it's one of the last things done before I post. I'm really not happy with the titles for my Ace Week fics.
18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?
Do you mean including characters speaking a different language and writing their dialogue in that language? A block of text in another language is rough on a reader and there's not really a good work around. Asterisks to the bottom of the page don't work on A03.
If I want a reader to know what a character is saying, I'd make note of the language change and use italics in dialogue but otherwise write normally. If the characters are in a situation where I DON'T want them or the reader to understand, then I'd type the language in italics.
19. First fandom you wrote for?
I've written what I would now call fanfic off and on my whole life. When I was seven, I wrote a horribly indulgent self-insert fic of me joining the characters of one of my favorite book series (Pony Pals) for an adventure. In middle school, before the publication of Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, I wrote my own version. I think I filled like two notebooks. I wonder if it's still around somewhere - I had some good ideas, some that were better than canon ended up imo
20. Favorite fic you’ve written?
Running on Empty! I loved it as one chapter but I really enjoy the whole story as it turned out in three. The only big thing I might change is tweaking the emotions Maverick feels after he and Ice finally get together. But that story flowed so well while writing and I really loved the world that I created with their families and especially Lisa and Jason for Slider. Plus I feel like that fic really addresses some of the trauma that Maverick went through and how he wasn't getting the support he needed in the OG movie.
That went long! Thanks again to @acetonitril for tagging me in this. I'm sure everyone else has already chimed in, but feel free to jump in if not. These are some great questions!
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musing on jotunheim again. as much as i like to talk about the thor movies as self-subverting and critical of imperialism from the beginning (which i stand by, on a thematic level!), the way the jotuns are actually portrayed is uhhh Not Great.
like. recap: they wear very little clothing, they are presented as extremely physically strong and menacing, they have very deep voices and express themselves nonverbally more than asgardians (ie they growl :/), they use ~nature magic~ and blend in with their landscape, they have very strongly distinct facial features from asgardians, and their skin is a bright colour not found among asgardians. this is... looking uncomfortable close to a racial caricature. like if you made the small but vital change of making their skin red instead of blue it would be undeniable. as it stands, it's not quite literally there, but it's got Coding for days.
and on top of that, loki, while he is a twist villain, is definitely portrayed as more sympathetic for having more human features. like... yes, he has fantasy-dwarfism or something like it and is therefore in some ways inherently vulnerable... but his vulnerability is still visually represented through less othered features, which kind of frames the other jotuns as INvulnerable - in comparison to the average asgardian, not just loki himself.
(which is also just... not true. asgardians and jotuns seem to be evenly matched on a physical level. and also the idea that physical strength is the be-all and end-all of power and vulnerability to begin with is Bad. i guess the end corrects this a little: we see jotuns screaming and fleeing the bifrost, frightened, powerless, victimised! but we still only see adult men. loki is the only jotun we see as a child, and we never see a jotun woman. where are the jotuns who aren't warriors or kings?)
also. less important. but. the jotuns do not reflect any existing culture. which, on one hand, is like. great thanks for only putting in a vague racial caricature and not a specific one 👍. but on the other hand. what are you meant to Do. with a human AU loki.
like obviously step one is dialling down the formerly-space racism by a factor of about a hundred lmao. but like even if you do somehow manage to handle his whole deal sensitively... if asgard = scandinavia, what is jotunheim. what IS loki's culture. is he sami? is he white-passing mixed inuit? it's pretty damn significant that jotunheim has its own monarchist + imperialist past and was originally a competitor to asgard, so should he just be, like, a different scandinavian nationality from odin? or maybe russian or something? but then there isn't racism to deal with. potentially some level of linguistic/cultural shame, sure, but no accusations of devil worship, no dehumanisation via race science, etc. nothing quite fits.
or even disregarding AUs, what real-world culture can/should you draw on to flesh out jotunheim, if any? is it inappropriate to do so at all when they're treated SO horrifically and they're also, you know, Blue Fantasy Aliens. or is it erasive to act like scandinavian colonialism is pure fantasy with no real-world implications. OR is it inappropriate to draw on real-world indigenous peoples for a fantasy history that doesn't reflect their actual history very well at all (see above: nothing fits.)
a thought i had recently was that the combination of blue skin, gold body jewellery, and warriors wearing very little clothing actually resembles descriptions of ancient celts (with either tattoos or body paint). and i feel like having some historical basis for jotun warriors, even if it's centuries apart from the viking inspiration of asgard, can maybe slightly improve on what's currently there. but equally, that's still a description from an imperialist (roman) perspective and i'm pretty sure its accuracy is... controversial?
yeah. a conundrum! i have no solutions at present i'm just thinking about it all. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
#space viking tag#i mean at least they aren't as dehumanised as the chitauri#where you can't even really tell if they're meant to be *sapient*#but that's a low fucking bar#also uhhh my own writing. hmm. :/#some level of prejudice against jotunheim often finds its way in bc it's just like. part of the emotional landscape#i do wonder if i should. idk. be more careful about where i use that#restrict it to stories that can actually examine it in some detail#but also. idfk it's just there isn't it.#it's inextricable from the family dynamic and i don't really believe in ignoring the uncomfortable parts of the characters#idk!!! ¯\_(ツ)_/¯#constructive complaining#s: t1#th: ethnicity#th: worldbuilding
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MTMTE 41-43
MTMTE 41
oh right I forgot about Thunderclash's death scare
Nautica with an entire gaggle of freaks in her room, just freakin it up
“Why is everyone being silly today?” Today???
hdfjsk I forgot that Brainstorm doesn't know how money works
aww Swerve misses Ratchet...
we did it, we finally made exactly one (1) step of progress in the actual quest what with the knights and such
oh right, Roddy's desk doodles that turn out to be a copy of the map that the matrix had, if I remember correctly
oof, Nautica and Firestar are making me have high school flashbacks lmfAO
oh, Thunderclash was also drawing the map. The same map, or part of the map and Roddy's got the other half? Fuck I was almost proud of myself for remembering a minute detail lmfAOsjadfk
I barely remember what these weird little parasite things are, I just remember that they feed of charisma and die immediately when Roddy and Megatron walk into the room lmAO
MTMTE 42
“Oh, and First Aid's there too- the poor man's Ratchet-” don't be fUCKING RUDE, SWERVE LEAVE HIM ALONE
I do find it unbelievably funny that the best way to deal with the Gender Conundrum that Simon Furman forced upon this transformers continuity is to just. Downplay it as much as possible and not make a big deal out of explaining why the robots use more than one set of pronouns, especially since the entire fucking reason we have this problem in the first place is because Furman could not stop himself from making a big deal out of it and creating a lore explanation instead of simply being normal about it lmfAO that's honestly why it matters so much that Anode's explanation for going from he to she was just “I found out that girls exist and thought they were pretty neat,” like that was truly all it took this whole time and Furman never had to do All That Shit
Skids is real sweet with Nautica
Jesus, rip Skystalker. Poor Firestar has clearly never had to deal with this kind of gore before lmAO
Thunderclash's speech here is simultaneously funny because of how overly heroic and perfect he's being and also genuinely touching lmAOgdfjks I am not immune to Thunderclash's pull... “For every act of aggression there are a thousand acts of kindness, for every hateful word, a million declarations of love” is hitting me particularly hard after having been on Twitter for the last few years. Like yeah yeah bird website bad (or I guess it's the letter website now but I'm gonna be real I'm calling it Twitter forever) but like actually, I'm not just dunking on it for laughs, it is a website designed to thrive off of negativity and it is also unfortunately the best social media platform available so it's the only place you can reliably find everyone from all over. So for a lot of us, our only option for keeping in touch with a lot of our friends and peers has just been forcing the most soul-draining bullshit in front of our eyes for years and it's hard not to start thinking that the world is just an inherently awful place, but it's not. We're just being shown so much of the bad at such a constant rate that we forget that there is just as much good, the good isn't an outlier, it's just getting buried by algorithms. It really doesn't help how much other websites are also going down this road of “all attention is good attention and making people upset gets the most attention so we'll just constantly churn out rage bait so our funny little engagement number go up”
like. I'm reading all this explanation on “personality ticks” and thinking back to Ratchet checking everyone for “super scraplets” and First Aid being like “really? That's the best you could come up with?” as if it was too stupid and yet here we are dealing with this
I do love how it was a group of nobodies who saved the day from the charisma-eating parasites, good for them, good to know if all our showoffs can't handle a situation, team nobodies has still got us covered lmAO
aww good for Firestar and Nautica for starting to put in some genuine effort in their relationship
oof hgdjfks and on the other hand we've got Cyclonus and Tailgate not quite putting in enough effort, Getaway has thoroughly sunk his grimy little claws into Tailgate's heart at this point, noooooooo
ooh Swearth is next hell yeah
MTMTE 43
I said it before but I'm still so glad for the new holomatter avatar designs lmAO granted not all of them are winners, I'm gonna be real Rewind's avatar is kinda boring, but they're still leagues better than the old designs
“Bluestreak said you don't look very twenty fifteen-y.” casually crumbles into dust lmfAO this DID come out in 2015 huh... that's almost a decade ago........
this fuckin rendition of the Cheers theme, fuck off lmAO
oh that's right, First Aid had to go do combiner shit for a minute lmAO
it's weird seeing all the human-sized holomatter avatars next to Rodimus, I frequently forget the robots are giant since it's mostly just them interacting with each other
I do think it's interesting that Swerve's avatar gets split into three different facets of himself, I've said “we stan a multitalented king” but I guess we're taking that to its extreme here huh lmAO
god. I hate that I still find Roddy's holomatter avatar hot lmfAO I am forever afflicted with this curse. I wanna run my fingers through his stupid mullet
gonna be real, Bluestreak is kind of a random pull for this issue but I appreciate it nonetheless because his avatar is very cute
aww Skids... come on buddy it's not your fault you couldn't have known anything was wrong
man, poor Swerve. I fuckin get it though, I didn't quite get as bad as almost dying, but being covid-conscious plus a bunch of personal losses and tragedies have left me rotting in my house for years and all that lack of self care left me with three kidney stones, one of which was so intensely painful it traumatized me into taking better care of myself last year and the other two I've been battling as I've done this reread. Shit's rough and it is so easy to not take proper care of yourself when you're too physically, emotionally, and spiritually drained
still so funny that all the Swerve recap pages were just canon, like no this is plot relevant, remember these
something something meta commentary on how MTMTE, much like the sitcoms Swerve loves so much, is also a story about misfits and failures who are trapped with each other and get on each others nerves but they overcome various obstacles and, in the end, they come to like each other. I don't have the brain power right now to do it justice but yeah, that is absolutely what this comic is to me, same hat Swerve
I really do like that Cyclonus likes Swerve, I definitely noticed at least a couple little background moments throughout the comic with them interacting and I love that it culminates into this moment where Cyclonus can just come out and say it
uuuuuUUUGHGFSND that little group picture with Ambulon, Ratchet, and First Aid still kicks my ass
oh shit that's right, the bullet that was a message from Dominus, I completely fucking forgot
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OK. Stuff I like:
It’s painfully obvious that John is not buying what Halsey is selling anymore, and that has her rattled.
Speaking of Halsey, she gets worse every episode. That flashback? She’s grooming John. Seriously, the whole interaction is what predators do. Make the kid feel special. Ask if you can see him again. Isolate him from his parents (“this will be our secret”). As a mom and someone who has worked around kids much of my life, the whole thing makes me rage. And once John figures out that Halsey has been making him a puppet his whole life, I have a feeling he’s going to rage too.
The whole sequence in the house is just so great. Especially John “interacting” with his younger self. And especially especially that brief second where he’s out of his armor. I’m a cinematography nerd and GOSH that scene is well done.
Also, John is a dog person. This is now canon. You will not convince me it isn’t.
Kai becoming a girly-girl when her pellet comes out. You can be girly and powerful. You can be girly and smart. You can be girly and courageous and capable. You can be girly and like guns (your humble authoress is exhibit A here). Femininity is not weakness. Femininity is strength. Own your girly, Kai my friend.
Kai’s newfound emotion vs. how Riz and Vannak are still “flat.” And how John seemed sort of bewildered by his emotions returning and Kai just jumps into it.
Stuff I don’t like:
I like the story of the rebel forces on Madrigal, but Kwan does nothing for me. My husband actually fast forwards through her scenes.
Gratuitous @$$ shots. Honestly, it’s starting to feel like the writers just want everyone to stop talking about the helmet so they’re distracting us with butts. And if tumblr chatter says anything, it’s working. But seriously. John’s butt scene was a little gratuitous, but at least it made sense. Why did we need to see Vinsher’s? Twice?
Not enough Cortana. I am here for chipper/eager Cortana and her broody/reluctant Master Chief. Give me more of it.
Not enough action. The exposition is good. I like the whole “what makes you human” question with the Spartans and the liberty/security/order conundrum on Madrigal. But when I watch a military science fiction series, I want some military action. Touchy feely emotional stuff is what I go to fanfic for. It gets old quickly on TV.
Other stuff:
Any possibility Reach For Life went south and John’s parents gave him up to Halsey because she told them she could save him?
Is a Spartan rebellion brewing? Or at least a Silver Team rebellion?
Can we talk about how John clearly had a happy childhood until things went off the rails? His parents loved him. He played with his dog. He liked to draw. I can’t imagine that knowledge won’t affect him somehow. That scene where he hugs his dad? When is the last time John felt someone touch him who wasn’t trying to alter his body or harm him in some way? Oh man, so much possibility here. For fanfic. And a little bit of TV. But mostly fanfic.
#halo tv#halo tv show#halo the series#halo paramount#master chief#john 117#catherine halsey#kai 125#kwan ha#cortana
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baby me
pairing: chris evans x female reader
request: Can you pls write something about Chris sick with some kind of stomach bug and fever and doesn’t want the reader to help him because he’s embarrassed but then he throw up and almost faint so the reader comes to the rescue and help him, and then cuddles? Thank you!!❤️ - anon
warnings: none, this is pretty pg
a/n: I wrote this one shot a little differently, it’s way less wordy and descriptive (imo). I’m trying to be more ‘to the point’ with my writing ahh we shall see how it goes. Otherwise please enjoy this little gem, thanks for the request, anon!
“What do you mean you can’t have it done? Oh, c’mon Tony that’s not what I— Alright okay, you know what, sure, whatever, do that then.”
You’re annoyed. You’re frustrated. You rummage through your oversized purse for the house keys that Chris has graciously lent you yet you somehow manage to misplace in the silk sheath of lining, receipts and a whole slew of miscellany.
Your one track life becomes an undisputed conundrum of work which never fails to follow you home even on a somewhat good day. Tony, the wrought-up site manager, says something the minute you tune out which allows to spiral right back in. Sometimes you bark. And sometimes you bite.
“Right but the unit division budget doesn’t have anything going forward in respect to that notion! You know this!” You boisterously tell your colleague after jiggling the door open and tossing the keys on top of the nearby console. The house is quiet, and your voice is the loudest carrying tremor that pulls Chris out of his lulling state. “No, no you are not fucking negotiating with Kingsley alright. That isn’t apart of the deal, Tone! Jesus.”
Your call consumes you just until you see your deadbeat partner sprawled up on the couch, sallow and sick. His dry lips are agape, breathing is staggered, little to no life is present in his form. His beautiful mutt looks to you from his side, tail slightly wagging and that is enough to have your heart torn out.
“Hey, hey Tony, can I call you back later? O-Oh sure, okay yeah that’s fine. Okay, alright buh-bye.” You frantically end the call, furrowing your brows as you take long, leaping strides towards Chris who is finally relieved to see you in all of your concerned beauty.
“Everything okay baby?” He croaks like a dying horse, eyes closing as his stomach lurches some more.
“You’re asking me? Goodness Chris, you look terrible.” You cradle the side of his balmy face while crouched in front of him. You are frightened with worry as he kisses the inside of your palm in return. The sweet action itself makes you wince as you scan his sunken and unpropitious features.
Chris is at his worst. You knew he was feeling a bit under the weather but didn't think once that it'd be this bad. He's severely impaled, sweating up a storm yet swathed in his favorite velour duvet. The TV is fuzzily broadcasting C-Span while Chris’s laptop is flipped open with a flood of emails that he wasn’t able to get around to. There’s a half eaten loaf bread and an open sleeve of crackers that doesn’t pass his appetite. While looking around, you casually pet Dodger with one free hand who also seems to be happy to see his momma around and readily waiting for you to do something.
“I don’t know what it is that I had last night at the launch party but it’s rocking my insides honey.” Chris groans after feeling another ripple go through his abdominal cavity.
“Aw baby you should’ve called me. I would’ve picked up some Pedialyte and left work early.” You reach over to turn off the TV and close the laptop.
“I didn’t want you to worry.”
"Too late for that, hon." You fearfully laugh while getting back to him and running a hand through the top of his head down to the nape of his neck. "Now c'mon lets get you in bed first and then I can make you some light dinner."
"I'm fine." Chris hums, loving the way your hands felt against the shaft of his scalp. "You just came home from work, you're probably really tired — go shower and get changed. I'm good right here."
"Don't be stupid, Evans. I can do all that later, now up." After some reluctant attempts you manage to get Chris up who for the most part can stand on his own two feet. Dodger barks his cautionary welcome as you and Chris trudge across the threshold of the single storey home together. You both enter his unmade room and that’s when Chris freezes in mid-stride. He has an uneasy feeling wash over him and everything becomes a jolting sprint of madness.
"Oh no babe I think I might—“ Upchuck. Chunks of indistinguishable remnants of undigested food and bile all came down on your frame as you stood in the line of fire. It’s fleeting and there wasn’t much you could do as you wore his vomit, letting it weigh down the front of your seersucker blouse and skirt.
"Fuuuuck." He panics and you exhale shakily with your arms spread apart, studying the wet projectile painting that amasses your body.
"It's fine. It’s okay." You say while trying to remain sympathetic and undeterred by throwing up yourself because the smell was impalpable. You imprudently gag while guiding Chris back to the bed. "How about you lie down and I’ll just —Chris? Chris!"
Chris's eyes gradually roll back, his body swings forward the minute he sits on the edge of the mattress and with your fast reflexes you manage to catch him against you. He's practically deadweight, passed out and that scares you.
"Oh god Chris babe? Baby, hey, hey..." You shake him a little as his face is caught in the crook of your neck, body rigidly leaned up against yours. He moans a little, regaining consciousness in a matter of seconds and calming your increased heart-rate that still continues to thunder. He was truly going through the motions.
"You alright?" You breathe, placing a hand on his cheek and forcing him to look at you.
"Yeah, yeah I'm okay. I'm so sorry, baby I...I..." He's a bit frazzled as you hush, pacify and hold him close to your form. He breathes you in as you strip off your soiled blouse and skirt. He’s hunched over when you start to peel off the black tee he has on that is smeared with vomit as well, leaving him bare chested in your embrace. You are crouching in front of him, his forehead against you shoulder while your hands were rubbing his back and soothing him. You could hear the low indigestible rumbles coming from his belly knowing how bad he’s been having it on both ends. “Oh I feel terrible Y/N.”
“I know. How about you get in the shower with me." You whisper in a non-sexual way as his body is burning up and the sour smell of regurgitation still lingered around your bodies. He softly nods and with some consuming seconds later, you walk him into the ensuite.
After you both wash up in the shower, you pass Chris some fresh clothes to change into while you travelled across the room in nothing but a towel for the past 10 minutes or so, making sure Chris was able to get himself sorted out first before you stepped away to get changed.
With dinner on your mind, you start thinking to yourself how you can't leave Chris alone in this state. You have an idea and that’s when you text Scott to bring up some dinner so that way you could spend some time holding Chris and making sure that he was okay.
Scott at 7:45 pm:
'On it baby cakes. Ma knows, she's making his favorite chicken noodle with lots of cayenne, ginger and all the good stuff. So you just stay put alright?’
You smile after reading the immediate response from Chris’s sweet brother. While you continue lathering yourself up in lotion you could hear Chris dozing off on the bed. You turn off the bathroom lights and leave to start up a load of laundry before sneaking back into bed with him. Chris stirs a bit before he wraps his arms around you, pulling you in closer.
“I promise I won’t throw up on you again.”
“Only if you don’t have to.” You whisper jokingly while pressing your lips against the underside of his chin. He hums at this with his eyes closed, his hands graze your exposed skin as he’s trying to hold you as inhumanely close to him as possible. “How are you feeling?”
“Better.”
“Scott’s going to be dropping off food so don’t go to sleep yet.” You state, drifting in apprehensive thought. Soon Dodger whimpers into the room and you pat the spot next to you for him to jump on. Chris has always been weary of having Dodger on the bed but because of extenuating circumstances you felt like his presence was also needed as well.
“That’s fine. Thanks again for everything.” He shuffles over after he sees Dodger crawling up and wedging himself in between the both of you. “Mmm hi bubba.”
“Anything for you mio amore.” You say, rubbing his soft belly and soothing the ache to the best of your ability.
“You know, you’re going to be an amazing mother some day Y/N.” Chris muses.
“I hope so.”
“I know so.” Chris rebuts, drawing in a deep breath with his eyes closed. “I love you so much.”
“I love you too.” You say in return, spending the rest of the evening in his wake before the entire Evans clan shows up at the front door, each worried silly about their pride and joy, leaving Chris to be theirs and having you watch from afar while they enforced their own tender love and care.
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How About a +1 Sword Instead? - Not giving PCs too much magic too fast
Hullo, Gentle Readers. This week's Question from a Denizen is from fireshock3000. They ask, "So in my campaign, there is a high turnover for magical items. As such my players have asked for a lot of specific ones (whether from books, other games they were in, or from podcast/live plays the have listened to or watched) which are sometimes more powerful then I think they should have. My question is, how can I give them what they want but not make them too over powered for what I have planned?"
I totally get this. Of course every paladin wants a Holy Avenger, and of course every wizard wants a Staff of the Magi. But, man, those are powerful, end of the campaign type items. So how do you give them to the players without giving them the item whole cloth? Well, good news, friend. I have a way of doing so that also gives you tons of story potential.
There's a flipside to this as well. Let's say your paladin wants part of their character to be an ancestral sword. Before the campaign started, his noble house was almost completely wiped out by vampires, and he fled, but not before taking his heirloom with him. This is a conundrum, right? You want to be able to give the PC cool magic weapons as time goes on in your campaign, but, for story reasons, they'd never stop using that sword. So what do you do?
Well, many, many campaigns ago, I had a character who desperately wanted to have an heirloom magic sword as part of his story and inheritance. It was really important to him, and I didn't want to say no. I came up with an idea that later I saw the game itself suggesting as well, and then, even later, I saw Matt Mercer use to excellent effect via his "Vestiges of Divergence". At the core, the idea is an item that levels up along with the PC.
This idea is actually baked in the concepts of my current campaign. There's the concept of Pneuma, the Breath of Heroes, an ephemeral trait that sets PCs aside from most people in the world. In the hands of someone without pneuma, that heirloom sword will never be anything more than a normal sword. As someone's pneuma manifests and increases, however, the attributes in the sword could "wake up" and become increasingly powerful.
Let's take our paladin and his family's heirloom. Maybe at first level, it's just an ordinary sword, with only its history to set it apart. When the PC hits level 3 and takes their paladin's Oath, however, the sword begins to manifest its true nature. It becomes +1, and it glows whenever fiends and/or undead are within 120 feet of it. As time goes on, you could have it manifest as a +2 weapon, a +3 weapon, and, finally, maybe around level 17, as a full Holy Avenger, with all the perks thereof. You could even parse things out further, such as initially not being +1 unless you're fighting Fiends or Undead. You might even make a chart such as:
Level 1: Ordinary weapon, or counts as Magic only when fighting Fiends or Undead
Level 3: Magic Weapon; glows whenever Fiends or Undead are within 120 feet.
Level 5: +1 Weapon
Level 7: +1 Weapon, Extra 1d10 damage vs Fiends and Undead
Level 9: Gains the Aura effect of a Holy Avenger
Level 11: +1 Weapon, +2 to Hit vs Fiends and Undead
Level 13: +2 Weapon
Level 15: +2 Weapon, Extra 2d10 damage vs Fiends and Undead
Level 17: Full Holy Avenger
Another alternative, especially with items that're kind of hard to level up like this (such as the Mighty Servant of Leuk-O noted above) is to develop plot around either finding or making the item. Maybe first they have to find the inert Mighty Servant, then they need to find a replacement crystal to serve as its heart, then they need to find the tome that includes the chant to awaken it. This way, the PCs feel like they have a path towards gaining the item they want, but you're not just giving it to them right upfront.
Likewise, if they want a Staff of the Magi, you don't need to hand it to them at early levels. Have them craft their own staff, and have finding the ritual and components to do so part of the campaign's plot. They hear of a wizard who made such a staff, then they have to track down his spellbook/journal. Once they do, then they need to collect the components of it - wood from a singular tree that grows in the Feywild and is guarded by a hydra; a crystal found in the belly of a legendary purple worm; iron bands from the forges of Avernus; and so on. Once they have the components, they must seek the legendary lost world forge of the dwarven gods and make the staff in a ritual that's likely to draw powerful enemies who will want the staff for themselves. Making the staff could be a side campaign all its own!
Ultimately, of course, it's your campaign. If you don't want an item to show up, just be honest with the player. Tell them you think the item is too powerful, and get a feel if there's something a bit less game-breaking that you can help them achieve. They'll definitely appreciate the extra time you took to speak with them about it, and most will be reasonable and understand. There will always be outliers, of course, but you can essentially tell them it's your decision, and that's all there is to it.
Thanks for asking this, fireshock! You are entered in our contest, and I hope this was helpful to you. Until next week, may all your 20s be Natural.
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I genuinely think that from soft games should have an easy mode (or easier mode or maybe just an accessibility mode) but I also know that a lot from soft fans would get mad at that suggestion cus, game elitism lol.
(uh oh i wrote a lot of words im very sorry every1)
yeah i myself have gone back and forth on this topic awhile, like. On one hand i really do think the challenge of certain encounters is part of the game's intended 'puzzle' it presents to the player. and as someone who's beat a few of em and struggled, i wonder if the ability to press a button that makes it easier wouldve definitely been too alluring for me to resist, and could potentially have 'cheapened' some of my victories. (plus from a game design perspective having a unified single difficulty means not having to worry about difficulty levels throwing off the intended balance of encounters).
BUT! HOWEVER. on the other hand. when i see like, the percentage of players that actually are able to get into the late game (based on achievement statistics) it gives me the same feeling as when a teacher brags about "most of you wont pass this class".
like, I appreciate challenging and niche gameplay experiences, and i absolutely dont think a piece of art should be required to appeal to everybody, but theres a nuanced discussion to be had about what it says about a game that most of the people who want to play it end up discouraged. and it directly leads to the whole "only the TRUE STRONG gamers make it past [xyz] boss, weak casuals need not apply" mentality, and I wonder if the tradeoff of satisfaction vs accessibility is truly worth it.
Fromsoft games also have a lot of really beautiful and interesting content that you can only access if you're able to get that far, and I do think it's a shame that there are people missing out, because the visual design is a huge thing that inspires me and draws me into those games and I think people should be able to appreciate it
its a shame this discussion is the kind that people tend to grab a torch and flock to one of two sides about, though. Like, it's a game design conundrum. I think we can afford to be grownups about it
tl;dr: actually idk how to summarize this quickly just read what i said
#yknow???#i see the value of the challenge but i dont think the answer is 'well if you were simply better at the game you could play more of it'#like cmon now.#also at a certain point this ties into the ongoing discussion about videogames as an art form#which is a can of worms im not getting into rn#long post
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After one pleasant and one.... spirited conversation after that last TMA post, I do want to clarify that I draw a distinction between the dynamic of a supernatural creature going “oh, it’s fine, I’ll just be a vigilante who eats evil people,” and someone like Adelard Dekker who takes it upon themselves to specifically stop an immortal, malevolent superhuman who’s actively killing people, does little else, and isn’t going to stop unless stopped with violence. I don’t view the use of violence as being morally equivalent in those two setups, but after tonight I do feel a need to suss out why, because the methods of resolution are basically the same in both situations- extrajudicial vigilante violence.
If I had to put a pin in it I’d definitely feel comfortable claiming that Dekker’s approach is more problem-oriented- He’s approaching from the fairly detached standpoint of wanting to remove an element that’s killing people. Sometimes that has a fatal outcome for the target of his vigilantism, like with Amherst. Sometimes that just means binding the problem, like with the table, because that's the most permanent thing you can do to get the motherfucker off the board. But there’s a level of dispassion and focus on removing the threat rather than punishing the evildoer, which allows Dekker to, if not maintain the moral high ground, at least remain somewhat grounded.
And as I mentioned in the other post, he’s got the advantage of not personally having to fight monsters to remain alive, which gives him the leeway to be judicious, take his time and wait until there’s an avatar actively on a killing spree, like Justin Gough or John Amherst, where he’s obviously got the moral high ground. He obviously isn’t being genocidal about it or he wouldn’t be pen pals with Gertrude.
With Daisy and Trevor, their whole bent is more explicitly about punishment (for Daisy) and Revenge (Trevor) and that means that their approach is going to be tainted because stopping the monsters from hurting people is at best a nice side benefit to what they’re actually going for, and at worst a fig leaf they use to excuse themselves in polite company. It’s insidious in that it’s superficially a win-win- they get to fufill their cravings AND improve the world, yay!.... except that it’s a mindset that allows you to justify anything, any fuckup, any level of brutality, any lack of preparation, any adherence to your own gut instincts of who’s innately bad and who’s innately good, in pursuit of the actual goal, which is killing something every so often. Any moral argument they make in favor of any specific killing- utilitarian, deontological, whatever- is side-stepping why they’re doing it. Neither Daisy or Trevor entertained the idea that they might be wrong, or more specifically, unequipped to do what they were doing. They centered themselves as the heroes of their own stories.
Of course, none of this is any kind of guarantee that Dekkard is equipped to be doing what he does either- we see objectively better outcomes from his approach, but that could just be luck. Which circles us back around to the original conundrum- when is it okay to direct violence at known threats? It’s a rough question.
It might be good to clarify at this point that my IRL opposition to the death penalty isn’t rooted in the belief that no one deserves to be killed. It’s rooted in the suicidal arrogance of thinking you’ll be able to identify those people correctly, every single time, and that you’ll never slip up. It’s opposition rooted in the implicit disregard for the innocent- or at least undeserving of death- who you’ll inadvertently kill if you build a system that does that. It’s opposition rooted in the impotent, frustrated rage I feel when death penalty advocates think saying “that hardly ever happens” somehow erases the times that it does happen. It’s rooted in the fact that no government that builds a system through which to murder people is going to use that system in good faith, because that’s not what a government is.
But at the end of the day, the TMA world is plagued by something our world doesn’t have- a rash of superpowered, unaccountable serial killers who hurt people because they have to, but also frequently because they can. That isn’t something you can afford to ignore! Or at least, it’s not something I think you can ignore. But the avenues to actually do anything concrete about them are all morally murky, or will inadvertently contribute to the underlying problem. The best you can hope for are slow, judicious actors who keep their own sense of self-importance tamped down, and even that won’t work forever; they’ll still misstep- missteps fueled by good intentions instead of arrogant bloodlust, but people will still be dead. They’ll make judgement calls of subjective value, and there can’t be more than a handful of them because how many people are actually trying to solve the problem for the right reasons, and not for their own self-aggrandizement? Not many, or the hunt wouldn’t be nearly as much of an issue.
Damned if you do, damned if you don’t. That’s the point, probably.
#tma#meta#thoughts#analysis#kinda hoping this one takes off as well because I'm now slightly worried that the previous one may have been taken as a pacifistic tract#the magnus archives#adelard dekker#daisy tonner#trevor herbert
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