#had an epiphany babes

[francesderwent]

[ereborne]

Song of the Day: May 22

"And So It Goes” Billy Joel cover by Jennifer Warnes

[astralee]

surprise

james potter x f!reader

you’re panicking. your hearts racing, you feel flushed and your body’s shaking so much you can hardly control it. “what does it say?” you manage to tremble out nervously. “i think i’m gonna throw up.”

marlene stood before you, the pregnancy test in her hand. “it’s positive.” she spoke cautiously. “are you okay? i can’t believe i’m holding your piss stick right now.”

your eyes had shot open even wider than you ever thought they could go, practically bulging out of your head. “i’m gonna be a mum.”

“yup.” she hummed. “and i’m gonna be the coolest auntie in the world.”

she was probably right about that, she’s certainly the coolest girl you know.

like an epiphany, you thought of your boyfriend. “oh my god.” you groaned out gripping the sink tightly. “how do i tell james? what if he’s disappointed? what if he doesn’t want kids? what if he doesn’t want kids with me?”

“woah, woah, woah.” marlene interrupted your word vomit, her hands firmly on your shoulder as though they were grounding you. “james is gonna be over the moon. he loves you so much and you’ve spoke about kids before.”

“but we’re still so young, i hardly thought either of us was wanting them right now.” you huffed. “i’m scared marls.”

her arms were around you in an instant and you felt the kiss she placed on the top of your head. “i get that, but you’ve got all of my unconditional support and you’ll have everybody else’s too.”

you nodded in her arms, tears streaming down your face.

“why don’t you send your patronus and ask him to come home . i won’t leave until he gets here so you’ll have no chance to spiral, alright?” she suggested and clapped you on the back when you agreed. “atta girl.”

james was home before you knew it, his beaming smile falling at the sight of your puffy eyes and post breakdown face. “what’s up? what’s happened?”

his gaze was wavering between you and marlene and so she broke the silence between the both of you. “nothing to worry about jamsie boy. i’m getting off now, alright? pop round at any time if you need me.”

marlene was gone in a flash and james slowly moved towards you. “you alright babe?” he spoke gently.

“i’m okay.” your voice was shaky and he was quick to bring you into his arms. his homely scent immediately calming your nerves. “i have something to tell you.”

“yeah? what is it?”

you pulled back from him but reached for his hands. you hadn’t planned how to tell him, so the only option was to blurt it out. “i’m pregnant.”

“you’re pregnant?” he choked out and you noticed his eyes filling up almost instantly. “we’re gonna be parents? i’m gonna be a dad?”

you could hardly find the words to respond so you gave him a clear nod of your head.

he was crying, so were you. two lovers desperately clinging onto each other in happiness. “this is the best thing ever.”

“i’m glad. i worried you wouldn’t want a kid yet.” you admitted. you felt a lot better now knowing he was on board with having children. “because we’re still young.”

“i’d want to have kids with you in every universe.” james admitted. “it’s going to be hard but we’ll work through it. we have so many people around us that can help out.”

that you did.

“pads is gonna freak out when he finds out.”

“so is your mum.”

“she’ll be so excited.” james agreed wholeheartedly. “i’m so exited. this is all i’ve wished for for a while. i love you so much, you know? and id never want to experience parenthood with somebody else.”

“me too james. i love you.”

[lalacliffthorne]

🪽 if you go down 🪽

Azriel x Reader

part I part II

summary: when a mission goes awry in the cold mountains, things take a turn, and suddenly, there's a lot more at stake than planned.

notes: look who's back!! yours truly got knocked out by a flu sent straight from hell, which meant being buried in bed and no writing for what felt likes ages. and of course when I did write again, I did not focus on other WIPs - noooo, I started this! whoops *winces*. to be fair tho, parts of this had been sitting in my ideas-folder for quite some time and when I had a sudden epiphany on how to use them, I couldn't just ignore that. especially since that epiphany was so... steamy. *grins* I'm back on my bullshit, and it's a spicy one! strap yourselves in, babes. we've got incoming drama and smut. also, even after splitting the whole thing, this is still long.

______________________________________________________________

The whole thing had been a shit show even before Azriel was shot out of the sky.

Rhys had sent the Spymaster and me into the mountains, to track down a group of soldiers gone rogue that had somehow swerved into the icy wilderness of the Night Court, raiding the small villages and leaving a trail of chaos and bodies.

It was a simple track and eliminate situation; find the group, assess the situation, move in if possible and track and wait if not.

Of course that meant nothing about it was simple.

“Damn it,”, I hissed, feeling my body tremble as a gush of ice cold wind grasped me.

I squinted, trying to make out anything in the chaos of swirling thick snowflakes that stuck to my lashes and hair. My cheeks were stinging under my heavy hood, my fingers freezing even in my thickly lined gloves, my skin icy under my winter leathers that weren't enough even with a second layer beneath.

The snowed-in wilderness of the Night Court was an icy climate to begin with, hard to navigate even in good weather.

Nearly impossible in a snowstorm.

We'd lost track of the soldiers about two or three hours ago, the quick falling fresh snow covering every track within minutes, the wind destroying every trace of footsteps and scent. Even Azriel's shadows seemed to be confused, coming up empty in the snowed-in woods, like the soldiers had buried themselves to avoid detection.

I huffed, my breath a white cloud.

Wouldn't have surprised me. They were trained to stay undetected.

This was bullshit.

Raising my head, my squinted eyes darted over the grey sky, clouds of thick whirling snow over the dark pines almost conceiling the dark figure high in the sky.

Even though it was risky, Azriel had decided that trudging through the forest without quite knowing which way to go wouldn't do. He had also ignored my protest that he'd be visible like a fucking beacon up there, no cover anywhere.

I had seen the hard glare he'd sent me before launching into the air - he knew perfectly well that it was a dangerous move. But just like me, he was irritated.

Pairing us together probably hadn't been the best idea.

The shadowsinger and I always clashed. Where Azriel was cool and quiet, I was fiery and quick to charge. Where he scowled, I grinned in challenge, where his eyes pierced, mine twinkled. He was rational and controlled to no avail, and I was empathetic and following my heart. His quiet watchfulness annoyed the crap out of me, and my smirks and cheeky taunts made his eyes flare.

I egged him on, challenged him where I could, and he usually rose to the occasion, shooting right back with sharp, well placed jabs.

It didn't help that he was breathtakingly beautiful. That his low, deep voice sent tingling shivers down my spine. It was infuriating, really; how it could make the hairs at the back of my neck rise, how him towering over me made something dip over in my chest.

It was a constant back and forth between us, which had made pairing us together for a mission a risky move even before the storm had hit. Now, we'd lost the soliders, I was freezing, Azriel's shadows were frenzied and uncoordinated, like they were responding to their master's agitation –

All in all, it was a mess.

Shivering, I slowly started to trudge through the snow again. I needed to move, or I would turn into a fucking icycle.

Screw Azriel and his stern “Stay here.”; if I did, he could take me home as an ice statue.

The snow swallowed every noise, the howling wind making listening for treacherous footsteps even harder. I moved slowly and carefully, my brown leathers blending in with the tree trunks, but still far too visible in the white forest as I squinted against the onslaught of falling snow that covered my tracks within minutes.

Gods, in this weather, those bastards could be miles away by now and we wouldn't kno-

Something shivered down my spine.

My eyes darted up, and I felt something dip over in my stomach when a wave of dread washed over me - premonition, instinct; precise and never amiss.

The strange tingle of sudden knowledge that something was about to go terribly, awfully wrong.

My instincts were something that even Azriel couldn´t scoff away.

In over 300 years, they had never once been wrong.

I swung around, drawing my swords as my gaze darted over the snowed in forest in search for anything; a trembling branch, a moving figure –

My gaze rose, and my eyes found the dark silhouette high in the sky.

Everything seemed to slow, my breath coming out in heaving clouds as something swelled under my ribs.

Then an arrow whizzed through the sky and hit the dark shape square in the chest.

My heart stopped. Simply ceased beating as I felt my eyes widen and my lips part.

In complete silence, the winged figure wavered. Then more black shapes whizzed through the air like lightning, catching and ripping through his wings, and like slow motion, Azriel tipped to the side and began to drop through the sky, freefalling towards the earth.

My limbs unfroze. A jolt went through my body as a wave of all-consuming dread crashed over me, and breathing a panicked “No.”, I rushed forward. Plunging my swords back into their sheets, I dodged a low hanging branch, then I started running.

My feet flew over the snow-covered ground, clouds of white whirling up behind me as I dashed through the trees. My heart was pounding against my ribs as something seized my chest, something like a clawed fist, squeezing tighter and tighter as I ran. Stumbling over roots and slipping on the icy ground, I dodged branches, freezing deadly cold washing through my veines as I stormed through the woods.

No.

I stumbled out from between the trees onto a stony beach, almost tripping as I skidded to a halt.

In front of me, a huge lake stretched, dark and deep and silent.

Right in it's middle, the water was sloshing, silently throwing small waves, like something big had crashed into it.

For a moment, I felt frozen, a name filling my throat, threatening to spill out, but I couldn't, couldn't scream without drawing attention, couldn't yell out the panicked cry building in my chest –

Azriel.

Panic crushed my ribs, and without a thought, without a second of consideration or planning, I darted towards the shore.

The water soaked my boots within seconds as I splashed into the lake. Icy cold water hit my feet, spattering up my legs and almost causing my muscles to lock in place. But I fought forward, holding onto the pulsing fear in my chest as I pushed my legs to move. Then I dove into the waves.

For a moment, the water seemed to freeze the blood in my veines. My lungs closed up, cold gripping my body. Then my head broke through the surface, the air hot in comparison to the icy water as I started to swim.

Something gripped my chest like an iron fist as I fought my way through the cold water. It was so deep, so dark, I couldn't see the ground, could only focus on that spot in the middle of the lake where the water was slowly beginning to calm.

Azriel had still not come up for air.

Something rose in my chest, gripped my throat, and I pushed, my skin burning with cold as I tried to swim faster, my arms and legs cleaving through the icy waves in powerful strokes. Then I sucked in a deep breath and dove under.

The water was so dark, I could barely see a few feet. Pushing myself deeper, feeling my wet clothes pull at me, my eyes darted through the depths until I spotted a huge shape floating below me. Shadows were slowly swirling around it, almost serenly, reaching out towards me like soft, gentle hands.

Something tightened violently in my chest, and I pushed myself up.

My head broke through the surface, and I gasped for air as the ice cold wind stung my wet cheeks. Breathing in deeply, I filled my lungs. Then I dove again.

The icy water enveloped me like hands pulling at me, like ghostly fingers numbing my skin as I started to swim into the deep. My body was burning as I fought my way through the stinging cold towards the far away bottom of the lake where Azriel was being gently swayed by the water, his wings stretched out and body limp, eyes closed.

My heart pulsed painfully.

Shit.

My lungs were beginning to protest as I reached out, feeling the pressure on my body pushing me as I grasped at nothingness. Then my fingers closed around Azriel's shoulders, and something dipped in my chest. I slipped an arm around his collarbones, feeling coolness sweep around me as his shadows pushed me upwards towards the light.

My chest was constricting as I fought myself upwards, black spots beginning to dance at the edge of my vision, and I tried to fight the panic, push forward -

My face broke through the surface, and I gasped for air, my fingers digging deeper into Azriel's shoulders as I hauled him up and into my chest, his face coming out of the water. The ice cold air stung my lungs and skin, but it was nothing compared to the feeling of Azriel's tall, solid body completely motionless.

“Shit.” Gripping him tighter, I turned, frantically trying to catch sight of the beach. For a second, I couldn't find it, feeling panic slosh through me. Then I caught a glimpse of black stone strip in the distance.

“No, no, come on.” Shaking, I began to fight my way through the sloshing waves. Azriel's wings dragged through the water, making him even heavier and pulling him down. Water sloshed over his face, and I tried to tug him up, my eyes beginning to burn and a desperate sound breaking from my throat as my muscles protested.

Come on.

It felt like hours until I reached the shore. I was shivering uncontrollably as I pushed myself to my feet, my knees shaking as I dragged Azriel out of the water, his wings scraping over the stony ground. His shadows whispered as I dropped him, falling to my knees next to him.

“Az?!” My voice was hoarse and panicked as I pressed my fingers against his neck and felt my heart skip once before stilling.

He wasn't breathing.

“No, no, no, come on!” An ache spread through my chest, and with widening eyes, I slid forward, beginning to press my hands down on his chest in a quick, steady rhythm, my whole body shaking as my heart pounded in my throat.

“Come on,”, I whispered frantically, “come on –“

Water sloshed out of Azriel's mouth, his body rearing up as he coughed out lake water.

Sucking in a sharp breath, I hastily pushed against his body, turning him onto his side and patting firmly onto his back.

Azriel inhaled harshly, his breath rattling. His body was shaking under my fingers, and something tightened violently in my chest when I felt him slump against me.

With shaking hands, I turned him onto his back again, leaning forward to slap his cheek. “Azriel. Azriel, fucking look at me!”

Whispering curses under my breath, I stared at the ash arrow in his chest, feeling my heart pound.

I couldn't take it out, not here, not without anything to stop the bloodflow, not without risking him loosing too much blood. His wings needed healing as well, the rips in the thin membrane too big, too broad.

“Shit, shit, shit,”, I whispered hoarsely, throwing my head up to look around wildly. I couldn't stay here, or we'd freeze, and with our luck, the soldiers were heading this way, just to check on whether they had actually hit their target.

We needed shelter.

“Alright, come on.” Scrambling to get to my feet, I grabbed Azriel's wrist, his body dead weight as I slid his arm over my shoulder and dragged him to his feet. His wings slumped towards the ground, and I clenched my teeth, wrapping my arm tightly around his waist and firmly nudging my shoulder into his side.

“You're not giving up, you hear me?” My body was trembling from cold and adrenaline as I started to stumble towards the treeline, half carrying, half dragging Azriel with me. “You're going to hold on until I find a safe place; you're not going to leave me!” My voice quivered.

“I need you to glare at me and call me stupid for putting myself in danger, and I need you to be a stuck up idiot so I can kick your stupid beautiful ass for it!” My voice broke, and I cursed myself, raising my head and blinking against the stubborn burning sensation in my eyes as I breathed shakily. “You're not going to die on me; you're not going to die!”

The snow made getting forward difficult. Soon, my knees were shaking under Azriel's weight, and I could feel his rattling breath against my soaking wet hair, becoming flatter. His body shivered like mine, like it was fighting against the icy winds ripping at us, howling as the snowfall became heavier. At least it would cover our tracks and mask our scents.

I nearly stumbled over a root hidden in the snow, and something in my chest clenched.

If we didn't find shelter soon, Azriel would be dead by morning.

Something hot and flaming rose in my chest, and I clenched my teeth, adrenaline surging through my body.

No fucking way.

“Come – on,”, I pressed, gripping him tighter and fighting against the cold stinging my whole body, numbing my skin as I dragged the shadowsinger with me. “You're not getting away that easily, you hear me?”

For once, I wish I would get back a cutting, precise remark. But Azriel just rasped a flat breath, his body sinking heavier on mine. Panic washed over me, tightening its grip around my chest.

Shit.

The wind howled around us. Every crack of a branch when the weight of the snow got too heavy made my head whip around, my eyes darting frantically through the trees. But I couldn't see a soul, could only hear the sound of crunching snow under our feet, our heavy breathing and my heart pounding in my ears. My mind was racing while I dragged Azriel through the snow.

The arrows had come from the opposite side of the lake, probably from quite a bit inside the forest. If they wanted to check if they had hit their target, they would have reached the lake by now, but the quick falling snow had masked all our tracks.

Hopefully.

They would hardly check the lake for a body, so if they didn't find one washed onto the shore, maybe we had a chance. Maybe if we found a spot to hide, wait out the storm and I got Azriel at least half back on his feet, he'd be able to transport us back to Velaris, and we could send reinforcements to find the soldiers.

For some reason, the thought wasn't nearly as satisfying as the heat twisting and raging in my chest, urging me to hunt them down myself. And sink my knives into the bastard who had dared firing those arrows.

The image kept me going, fed my numbing, chattering body with a grim, burning fire that wasn't warming but gave me something to cling to, hold onto as I staggered through the snow.

That and the male I half carries, half dragged with me, his body becoming heavier with the second. It caused a desperate tremble in my limbs.

There was no way I was going to lose him, no way I wasn't going to push until my legs gave out, and even then, I would curl over him if I had to, protect his far too tall body with mine, give him the last bit of warmth that was burning in my chest.

It was either the both of us leaving this stupid forest, or neither of us, because there was no way I was going to leave him. Even if his beautiful, dumb, rational ass would tell me to –

My eyes got caught on a dark structure ahead, flashing between the dark trees, almost obscured by clouds of whirling snow.

My heart tumbled, and I exhaled shakily, feeling my eyes widen as I tightened my grip around Azriel's waist and started lugging him forward.

The thrum in my chest began to quicken when I caught a glimpse at what looked like a simple wooden cabin. It was probably nothing more than one big room inside, with small windows and closed shutters, the porch covered in a thick layer of snow that the wind had blown past the protruding roof – but it made my heart rise in a wild flutter and my limbs melt from their frozen state.

The cabin looked empty, no light peaking out from the shutters, the snow high and unmarked around it. I dragged Azriel around to the front and felt my heart dip.

The door had been opened by force. It looked like someone had kicked it in, and when I leaned forward, breathing heavily, I caught a glimpse at an empty, slightly trashed inside. Judging by the thick layer of snow that had covered the entrance, the raid had happened more than a few hours ago, maybe even already last night.

My heart fluttered and jumped into my throat.

That meant the soldiers had already been this way, had probably reached the lake from this side before moving to the other to disappear deeper into the mountains.

If we were lucky, that meant they wouldn't come past here again, clearly already done searching for valuables in this place.

Unless they had a reason to, they wouldn't just backtrack and risk running into the people hunting them.

I nearly stumbled, lugging Azriel up the steps to the porch. We almost got stuck in the door, and I had to slide my arms around him to pull him through sideways to not hurt his wings. Then I looked over my shoulder, breathing heavily as I quickly scanned over the inside of the cabin.

It was one big room, with a fireplace and a bed covered in furs on the left, a big table and shelves on the right. The air smelled ice cold but stale, like no one had been here for quite some time. The cabinets had been thrown open, but nothing but cups and bowls were scattered over the floors, the bottles and jars in the shelves untouched. The sight made my heart skip high.

Maybe I had a chance of mixing something for Azriel's wounds together from that.

“Alright, come on.” Dragging Azriel towards the table, I heaved him onto the top, my limbs shaking from his weight. Minding his wings, I turned him onto his back, hastily checking his pulse before turning around and darting towards the door. Kicking most of the snow out onto the porch, I threw it shut, bolting it and using one of the chairs to block the handle just to be sure.

Now, the cabin lay in almost complete darkness. Outside, it seemed to already get darker, the thick clouds and the snow storm that only seemed to get heavier darkening the woods even quicker.

My teeth were chattering as I darted towards the shelves, my trembling fingers skimming over the bottles and tinctures, dried herbs and berries in jars. I found some candles in a drawer and matches in another, and setting them up in holders around the cabin, I lit them, my breath shaking as warm, golden light filled the room. Now that I wasn't moving, I felt the cold clinging to me even more, numbing my limbs.

We needed to warm up, quick.

But first, I had to take care of that arrow.

I had never been more thankful for Madja.

My fingers flew over the pestle and mortar I had found in the shelves, grinding up berries, mixing them with herbs, honey and fresh snow. I heard the old healer's voice in my head as I worked, explaining how to best treat wounds caused by ash arrows, how to make the paste that would help the naturally quicker healing of an Illyrian.

Provided the arrow had not injured any vital organs.

The thought made something dip over in my chest, and I threw a quick look over my shoulder to where Azriel was laying still on the big wooden table, his breathing far to flat, the white of his eyes visible under his fluttering eyes. His tanned skin was pale.

Snatching some bandages I had found in the back of a cabinet, I turned around, dropping the mortar on an empty chair next to the bandages and some clean fabrics I had found in the chest next to the bed. My fingers were trembling as I undid the buckles of Azriel'ss chest armor, the heavy leathers pierced by the arrow. His clothes were soaked and clammy like mine, and his skin was icy to the touch, so much so that I flinched.

Shit.

Breathing out, I closed my hand around the arrow, my breath shaking as I pressed my free arm down onto Azriel's chest.

“I'm so sorry,”, I whispered.

Azriel gave a gargled sound when I pulled the arrow from his chest, twisting in the spot. I tried to hold him down, squeezing my eyes shut as the arrow clattered to the floor and I hastily pressed some of the cloth onto the wound that gushed blood, though it looked a lot less than it maybe should be.

Godsdamned cold.

Hastily, I dragged Azriel's leathers off his torso, dropping the soaking material to the ground as I caught the blood with the cloth, pressing it down. My body was trembling as I waited, then I peaked at the wound - the bleeding was already slowing down.

I prayed it was Azriel's healing that caused it, not the cold shutting down his bloodflow.

Spreading the thick paste over the wound, I picked up the needle and thread I had found in a drawer and held the sharp tip into the flame of a candle before pulling the thread through it. My fingers trembled, and I needed three tries until it was looped through the needle.

Azriel twitched when I started stitching the wound together, my needlework a lot less clean than Madja's, but I was shaking too hard. My eyes darted towards Azriel's face constantly, my heart dropping deeper every time I caught a glimpse at the white of his eyes peaking out from under his lids. It felt like he was wandering somewhere between concious and unconcious, twitching and groaning softly at the pain, but too far away to open his eyes or gather anything about his surroundings.

Tying off the string, I grabbed the bandages. It took all my strength to pull Azriel up, his wings dragging him down as I wrapped the white gauze around his ribs tightly, my arms shaking.

I was sweating when I finally carefully put him down again, my cold, wet clothes sticking to my skin and making my teeth chatter.

I needed to get out of these leathers or I would catch something worse than death.

But Azriel's wings were first.

The thin membranes had been shredded by the sharp tips of the arrows, blood crusting the gaping cuts. I cleaned them, whispering trembling apologies whenever Azriel shifted and gave slurred, pained sounds that sunk their own sharp claws into my chest. Carefully stitching them together in the way Madja had showed me once, I spread more paste on the wounds, thick enough to cover them from both sides.

Hopefully, it would speed up the healing process.

Pressing my hand onto Azriel's cheek, I cursed under my breath. He was icy cold, his skin clammy.

I had to get him warmed up. Now.

My eyes darted over to the fireplace, then to the windows, and a knot formed in my throat.

Even though it was getting darker by the minute, the smoke of a fire could still give away our location, even with the storm.

I turned back towards the shadowsinger, who's hair was curling with dampness and melted snow, his torso bare, his wet pants clinging to his legs.

I needed to get him out of those; he didn't have a chance of warming up when he was still wearing the damp, clammy clothes.

Which meant stripping him.

Even though I was chattering with cold, I felt heat bleed into my cheeks.

“Gods, get yourself together,”, I mumbled to myself, moving forward and beginning to unbuckle the sheaths wrapped around Azriel's thighs. I tried to avoid looking at him; his chiselled torso, the smooth curve and width of his shoulders, the ink swirling over the planes of his chest, tried to not think about the rising feeling in my chest that came to life whenever his amber eyes settled on me for too long.

Letting the daggers slip to the floor, I unlaced Azriel's boots, cursing softly at how stiff my fingers were. I could barely feel them as I tugged the black leather off before turning around, blaming the cold for my trembling limbs and for my inability to unbuckle his belt on the first try. Then, stubbornly not staring at his bare skin, I tugged his pants down his legs. They were soaked like the rest of his clothes, making it difficult to tug the thick winter leathers off his skin.

Dropping the pants, I felt the heat in my cheeks deepen and quickly averted my eyes, sliding my arm around Azriel's waist and grunting softly when I maneuvered him off the table.

“Alright, come on.” Staggering slightly, I tried to ignore the weight of his muscled body as it leaned heavily onto mine, the feeling of his harsh breath, his lips brushing over my temple and his skin smooth and cool against my fingers.

It proved impossible.

Somehow, I managed to get Azriel under the covers. Turning him onto his side so his wings weren't in the way, I tucked him under the blanket and threw the furs over him, shivering as I turned around and spread out his dripping wet, icy cold clothes over the chairs. My own were beginning to feel like they'd been frozen by the snow and wind, and when I caught a look at myself in one of the windows, I felt my heart drop at the sight of my slightly blue lips.

Crap.

Quickly throwing a quick look over to where Azriel was laying on the bed, buried under the furs, still breathing too harsh, too uneven, I turned around again, feeling something thump harshly against my ribs. Then I swallowed and quickly started peeling off my own clothes.

My leathers stuck to my skin, wet and clammy, and I hissed in frustration as I kicked off my thick pants. Suddenly, I realised how cold the air in the cabin really was, making my limbs shake even more as I rubbed my stiff fingers over my thighs before quickly spreading my clothes over the rest of the furniture. Then I hesitated, looking down at the bra and top I was wearing over my underwear, both sticking to my skin, making goosebumps rise on my body.

I needed to get them off, but if I did – I was practically completely bare.

For a second, I was still, just breathing quickly and feeling myself shiver. Then I cursed softly and quickly shed both the undershirt and the bra, throwing them over the backrest of a chair. Crossing my arms quickly over my chest to cover myself, I turned around, my eyes getting caught on Azriel's frame. He had started to shiver violently.

I felt the overwhelming urge to grab one or two of the furs and curl up on the armchair by the unlit fireplace. But I could feel the icy cold seep through me, now settled in my bones, could feel myself grow number.

Staring at Azriel's trembling form for another second, I whispered a curse under my breath, then I darted towards the bed and slid under the blankets.

Immediately, my body started shivering more. It felt like now that I wasn't moving anymore, the cold invaded every inch of me, causing my teeth to chatter loudly as I curled up on my side under the heavy furs, my damp hair sticking to my bare skin as I stared at Azriel's face in the warm flicker of the candles. He looked too pale, his breath too labored.

Swallowing, I scooted closer under the blankets until I could feel his body, just shy of touching my curled up form. Then I forced myself to relax, to stop the shivering, focusing on Azriel´s face, the crunch of his brows, like even unconcious, he was fighting, angry.

The thought made my lips twitch softly.

Curling up tighter, I buried myself in the sheets and breathed out. Suddenly, the exhaustion crashed over my like a wave, my limbs burning not only from the cold but from dragging Azriel through the water and the snow. My eyes drooped, and I had to fight to keep them open, clenching my jaw.

I couldn't fall asleep, I had to stay awake enough to listen for anything. To, for once, keep watch over Azriel, in case anything, anyone found us after all.

But the woods outside were quiet except for the howling wind.

I dozed off a few times. I didn't fall into a deep sleep, my body too cold, my heart beating too quickly, my ears too sensitive to any sound coming from beyond the windows, where the world became darker and darker. But the exhaustion soon overwhelmed me, and my body took what minutes of shut-eye it could pry from the grip of my will. The rest of the time, I stared at Azriel's face in the light of the candles, something thrumming heavily against my ribs.

Please be okay.

I was slowly slipping away into a deeper sleep when the mattress jerked. My eyes flew open, and my heart skipped into my throat when I found another pair staring right at me.

Azriel's eyes were blown as his gaze slowly tracked over the sliver of my bare shoulders and collarbones visible from where the furs had slipped from his abrupt waking. Then his throat worked, and I could see the moment he seemed to tear himself out of it, could see the confused but soft, slightly feverish expression bleed from his eyes as his iris narrowed in and darkness settled over his face.

A muscle in his jaw shifted, and Azriel tore his gaze up, eyes flaring as they pierced into mine.

He didn't need to open his mouth for me to know exactly what was going on in his head.

Explain. Now.

I breathed out and dropped my head onto the pillow, mumbling: “Calm down.” Curling tighter into the furs wrapped around me and trying to keep my teeth from chattering, I grumbled: “This was not how I imagined this going either.” Trying to ignore the heat bleeding into my cheeks, I watched him, my voice becoming softer when I mumbled: “You fell into a lake when they shot you down.”

Azriel blinked, and his eyes found my hair that was still damp and cold, sticking to my neck. His pupils constricted, and something flared in his eyes.

“You pulled me out.”

His voice sent a tingle down my spine, low and deep, so deep, hoarse with exhaustion but cutting, his eyes blazing with something I didn't recognize.

I shrugged softly, pulling the blankets tighter around me as I sent him a smile that wasn't half as mischievous as usual.

“Yes, well, I thought about how much you would hate me doing that and just couldn't resist. You know how I like to push your buttons.”

Azriel's jaw twitched, and something burning grew in his eyes as they pierced mine.

I felt my lips twitch in a weak attempt at a cheeky smirk. “That would be the moment to thank me for saving your life.”

Azriel's eyes narrowed, and I could see the muscles in his cheeks shift. “You exposed yourself, left yourself defenseless. That was reckless and stupid.”

His voice was cutting, icy, but I just stared at him, feeling something hot bloom in my chest as my heart skipped high against my ribs.

I blinked and felt my lips curve softly.

“You're welcome.” I turned to slide of the mattress, shivering as my bare feet hit the cold floors. Wrapping the furs around me, I dropped onto my knees next to the fireplace, reaching out to close my fingers around my pants. The leather was icy cold and wet.

“Damn it,”, I whispered under my breath.

I looked over my shoulder and found Azriel's eyes on my face, something raging in his iris, something I didn't recognize.

“What?” My gaze flickered over his face, something skipping softly against my ribs. Then I blinked and looked him over, feeling my lips curve into a cheeky smirk. “Don't worry. I didn't look anywhere important.”

From the corner of my eye, I saw Azriel's eyes dip towards his bare chest, and if I hadn't known any better, I thought I saw a faint blush spread over his cheekbones. Then he tore his eyes away and clenched his jaw.

“You left yourself completely defenseless.”

I turned back around, staring at the fireplace as I felt the smile bleed off my face.

“Yes, well, I wasn't exactly thinking,”, I mumbled, something tightening harshly in my chest.

Even from the corner of my eye, I saw Azriel's gaze flare incredulously, his deep voice slicing through me.

“Not thinking gets you killed.”

I swallowed. My heart thrummed against my ribs as the moment I had watched Azriel fall flashed before my eyes.

“What if the soldiers had been at the lake, what if they'd gotten there by the time you came out of the water?” Azriel's jaw clenched, his voice tight, unrelenting. “You didn't think, and it could have cost you your life –“

“Why do you care; if I hadn't made it, you wouldn't have either, but we did; so what is your problem?!” I turned to stare at him, my breath hitching as an ache spread through my chest, and shadows whipped up the walls as Azriel growled.

“How can you be so reckless when it comes to your own fucking life –“

Something under my ribs shattered.

“I thought I'd lost you!!”

My desperate scream caused Azriel to fall silent like I had slapped him across the face.

I stared at him, breathing heavily, my body trembling as I barely fought the burning feeling of tears behind my eyes.

“You asshole!” My voice was shaking even though I was willing it not to, a bright aching feeling burning in my chest, flaring like that flicker in Azriel's eyes.

“I saw you fall, and then the lake and I thought –“ My voice broke as I stared at him, an all-consuming pain growing under my ribs.

“You were drowning.” My hands trembled, my throat closing up tight as I blinked against the tears threatening to spill over my cheeks. “I wasn't thinking about anything but that, and that there was no fucking way I was going to let it happen! And you are a fucking bastard for berating me for it, just because what I did doesn't fit with your strategic expectations, or because you think it was reckless, when I thought I had lost you!” My next breath shuddered as I stared at him, my limbs trembling.

Azriel's throat worked as his eyes pierced mine, but for once, he was completely silent.

“You think that it was stupid? That it was reckless and emotional?” I felt heat grow in my chest; familiar, angry heat, and I scrambled to push myself to my feet, glaring at him as I trembled.

“Well, I don't give a shit about what you think! I would have dragged you through that gods damned snowstorm until my legs gave out, even if it meant freezing in the end!” I balled my hands into fists. “There's no fucking way I would have ever left you!” Blinking against the tears gathering in my eyes, I swallowed, staring at him.

“Because that's the next thing you would have said, right?” I breathed a bitter smile, something tightening harshly in my chest. “That the rational thing would have been for me to leave you behind? That there was no way I could have carried you until I found a village, let alone all the way back to Velaris? That pulling you out of that lake and taking you with me meant leaving myself defenseless, to those bastards and that fucking cold out there, and that I should have never done that?” I fought the way my breath hitched and tears pricked my eyes as I glared at him. “I don't give a shit about all of that. Because I don't give up. I don't give people up, and I sure as hell never leave anyone behind, especially –“ I cut myself off, biting the inside of my cheek.

Especially not you.

I swallowed and curled my fingers into the fur wrapped around me as I returned Azriel's blazing stare, even as something closed around my throat, causing my voice to sound hoarse as I mumbled: “I would have rather frozen to death with you than leave you behind.”

Azriel blinked again. His jaw worked as his eyes flickered over my face, and something flashed through them. But I turned away before I could find out what it was, my chest tightening as I angrily wiped away the tear that rolled over my cheek, treacherous and letting on that maybe, I gave quite a shit after all.

“Our clothes are still too wet.” My voice was thick and a little shaky, but I refused to look at Azriel as I stared at my pants before turning my eyes towards the windows, behind which, the woods were completely dark.

“Without warmth, it's going to take too long for them to dry. And your body's too focused on keeping you from freezing to properly heal you, so you need to warm up.” I started pulling logs from the stack of firewood next to the fireplace, mumbling hoarsely: “Let's hope it's dark and windy enough that no one can trace the smoke.”

I could feel Azriel's eyes on me as I built and stoked the fire, my fingers trembling not from the cold. Something was constricting in my chest, rage towards this stubborn male swirling under my ribs, mixed with something aching and fluttering that made my heart quiver.

I stoked the fire until I could feel the warmth of the flames on my face. Shivering, I wrapped the furs tighter around me.

Just the thought of being close to Azriel caused something to tighten harshly in my chest. But I could feel cold crawl up from the floorboards, and the desire not to freeze was stronger than the one that told me stay away from the male on the bed.

Pushing myself back onto my feet, I turned around and, without looking at Azriel, slid back under the covers. Turning my back towards the shadowsinger, I curled up, my limbs trembling with cold and something else that had closed tightly around my chest.

I could feel Azriel shift behind me, slowly moving back under the blankets. I tucked myself in tighter, my teeth chattering softly.

The flames in the fireplace started to crackle slowly. I stared at their light dancing over the floorboards, tried to ignore the presence right behind me. But I couldn't ignore his scent, night chilled cedar mixed with the metallic scent of blood, and how it made something twinge in my chest. My mind kept looping back towards the fact that if I shifted back just a few inches, my body would press into hi-

“You're shaking.”

The low vibration of Azriel's voice trickled over my spine. It was deep and clipped, and I pressed my lips together.

“Yes, well, I'm cold.” I tried to scowl, but my voice sounded weak, not at all angry or sharp like I had hoped it would be.

Swallowing, I stared at the light of the fire dancing over the walls. I could feel Azriel's stare piercing the back of my head, could sense the tension in his jaw and body –

The mattress shifted, then I felt something brush against my back.

I froze.

Scarred, calloused skin gently grazed over my side, and my breath hitched, getting caught in my throat.

Azriel's fingers curled against my skin, like he was hesitating, thinking about pulling back, or not quite in control of his own body – then his hand splayed over my skin, slowly sliding down onto my stomach, and carefully, Azriel pulled me backwards into his chest.

My heart dipped. Then it stilled.

I could feel Azriel shift behind me, could feel the tension rippling through every part of his muscles. His hand slid over my stomach, skin cold against mine as he slowly wrapped his arm around my waist and pressed me into his chest.

Suddenly, something twinged between my legs and in my heart.

I could feel every ridge of his torso in my back. Every curve of muscle, every inch of smooth, icy cold skin pressing against mine. His legs came up to thread through mine, and his tall, solid body slowly curled around me until there was no place we weren't touching.

Swallowing harshly, I stared at the light of the fire dancing over the walls, my breath fluttering in my throat and my heart pounding against my ribs. I could feel every shift of muscle in Azriel's body, could feel the tension in his chest as he tightened his grip around me. Then he carefully dropped his forehead against the back of my head and gently tapped his fingers against my ribs six times.

My breath hitched, and my heart stilled.

The tapping was something between Mor and I, to communicate when were in the same room but not able to talk to each other. I hadn´t even realised Azriel knew about it, but - of course he did.

He always knew.

One tap meant I'm here, two taps danger, three taps you okay?, four taps need a distraction, five taps for they're lying, and six taps -

Something rose in my chest in a wild flutter.

I´m sorry.

I swallowed and stared at the wall.

Azriel's hand was still for a second, and I could feel the tension ripple through him. Then his fingers gently tapped against my skin again.

One, two, three. Four, five, six, seven.

Behind you.

My heart swelled in a weak, trapped giggle.

For a moment, I hesitated. Then I slowly twisted around under the blankets, and my breath hitched in my throat when my eyes found Azriel's only a few inches away.

My head settled on the pillow. The fire crackled as I swallowed softly and stared, and Azriel's iris shifted as he stared back. His eyes looked less stormy, glinting like molten caramel in the warm flickering lights as they pierced mine.

Slowly, his fingers brushed over my bare spine.

I barely suppressed a shudder, my lips parting, and Azriel's eyes dropped. His pupils expanded, and something flared in his eyes.

A muscle in his jaw shifted, then he mumbled, his voice quiet and rough: “After pulling me out of the lake, did you call me a stuck up idiot?”

My breath hitched in my throat, and my eyes darted up to meet his as they widened a little. But Azriel just stared at me, and behind that strange blazing fire in his eyes, it almost looked like they were twinkling a little.

“No,”, I whispered and blinked, and just for a second, the corner of Azriel's lips twitched. His gaze pierced mine.

“You also called me beautiful.”

I stared at him, something fluttering wildly against my ribs when I mumbled back hoarsely: “No, I called you stupid.”

Azriel's eyes flared, the gold in his iris melting together as his gaze dragged over my face.

Swallowing, I tore my eyes away before the fluttering thing in my chest could break free. Dropping my head a little, I reached out before I could stop myself and carefully brushed my fingers over the bandage wrapped around Azriel's ribs.

A deep sound broke from his throat, and my breath got caught in my throat as my eyes darted up again, just in time to see a muscle in Azriel's jaw twitch, his pupils blown as he stared at me.

“You're freezing.” Something dipped over in my chest at the rasp in his tight voice, and I swallowed and stared up at him.

“I could think of some ways to warm up.”

It was supposed to be a cheeky taunt. But it came out breathless when I felt Azriel's scarred hand brush slowly over my bare skin.

Azriel's fingers stilled. There was something in his eyes as he stared at me, that strange blazing flicker I had seen before, something raging and all-consuming that seeped through his carefully crafted walls.

A muscle in Azriel's jaw shifted as his gaze dragged over my face. Then his hand brushed up over my ribs, rising from under the blanket.

His rough skin against my neck made me shiver, a tremble running down my spine that suddenly had nothing to do with being cold when his fingers slipped into my hair. They threaded through the strands, and I felt my next breath shudder when his thumb slowly traced over the side of my throat.

Azriel's eyes moved slowly over mine, and that look in his eyes flashed, grew stronger. Then he lightly tugged me forward, and when I followed, my breathing growing shorter, he dipped his head.

His nose brushed against mine, and I reached up like reflex, my fingers trembling a little when I wrapped them around Azriel's wrist as his hot breath hit my lips.

Azriel stilled, fingers still threaded through my hair, lips nothing but a breath away from mine. I thought I could feel his lashes on my cheeks, the heat of his pulse under my fingers. Something was thrumming under my ribs, growing stronger with every second.

I sucked in a soft, trembling breath when I realised he was waiting.

The thrum in my chest grew unbearable, and I moved, dipping my head and pressing my lips slowly against Azriel's jaw.

His fingers curled into my hair, muscles shifting under my hand wrapped around his wrist, and I thought I felt something rumble in his chest.

I slid lower. My lips traced over the shape of his throat, feeling it work under the featherlight press of a kiss against the side of it. My teeth grazed over his skin, and Azriel's fingers scraped lightly over my scalp when a grunt escaped his chest that sounded a little strangled.

Dipping my head, I carefully pressed my lips onto the curve where his neck met his shoulder, and my heart rose, flaring.

I hadn't known the taste of someone's skin could do this – make you feel drunk off of it, cause a rush to fill your body, make your skin tingle and heart race.

Tracing the shape of Azriel's collarbone with my lips, I left a slow, careful kiss on his cool, inked skin before following the shape of his chest. My hand slid lower, and I felt the thrum of his heart under my palm, quick and erratic. It made my own swerve sharply, and Azriel's breath shuddered when I dragged my lips over his smooth skin.

Looking up at him through my lashes, I felt something jolt right down into my lower stomach, my own breath hitching and something hot rushing through my chest when my eyes met Azriel's, fixed onto my face, the amber flickering in the light of the fire, pupils blown. His jaw worked, and my spine tingled.

Slowly sliding down his body, I traced my lips over his chest. Leaving slow, careful kisses on the swirls of his tattoo, the silver lines of faded scars, I felt his muscles shift and flex under my featherlight touches. My fingers brushed over the bandage wrapped around his ribs, and a sound left Azriel that caused my heart to tilt over when I carefully pressed a kiss onto the spot where the arrow had pierced him.

Somewhere buried deep in my head, the thought stirred that this didn't feel like it was just about warming each other up.

Not with the way Azriel was staring down at me, something flaring in his darkened eyes, his breath out of rhythm, his body reacting to the smallest brush of my fingers with a shudder like it was the answer to a long lost prayer.

My lips traced over the hard ridges of Azriel's stomach. Following the lines, I felt his muscles shift and clench beneath his smooth skin when I pressed my lips slowly against his side, my tongue tracing lightly over his skin, and Azriel's hand fell out of my hair to grab onto the sheets. His knuckles turned white as I slid down, and something curled and tightened in my lower stomach when I traced my lips over the sharp line disappearing into his underwear.

Azriel's hips bucked upward, and a low, pressed grunt left him that caused tingling warmth to wash over me, my stomach twisting.

I gently nudged my nose against his skin, then I raised my head, and something rose in my chest in a wild flutter when my eyes met Azriel's, his jaw locked as his gaze burned into mine until something closed around my throat and I barely kept myself from swallowing.

Slowly, I shifted. Then I slung my leg over his waist.

Azriel's pupils seemed to grow darker, and without looking away, feeling that steady thrum in my throat, I slid down his body.

The sheets and furs went with me, but Azriel didn't seem to notice. His eyes were transfixed on my face. Then my hand slid under his waistband, and his expression slipped, jaw going lax and eyes fluttering when I wrapped my fingers around his cock.

Slowly pulling him out of his pants, I felt something dip and plunge in my lower stomach at how hard he already was. Swallowing, I carefully ran my thumb over his tip, coaxing a low curse from him. Then I looked up through my lashes and sent Azriel a small, cheeky smile.

“Tell me if I'm doing something you don't like.”

The shadowsinger's eyes flashed as a choked sound left him, and I dipped my head and wrapped my lips around him.

“Fuck.”

A breathy grunt broke from Azriel's chest, his head fell back as his hands fisted the sheets, and I gently ran my tongue over the underside of his cock before sucking him into my mouth.

Incoherent sounds spilled from Azriel's lips, deep grunts and rough muttered curses that made my stomach twinge as I started to stroke him slowly. His blazing eyes were dragging over my face, the muscles in his stomach twitching as my hand worked what my lips couldn't reach, my tongue running over the underside of his cock as I took him deep, beginning to suck.

“That's it.” Azriel's hands fisting the sheets trembled as he grunted breathlessly, his throat working and eyes squeezing shut for a second like he was trying to reign himself in, but the words stumbled past his lips, deep and gravelly.

“Fuck, just like that.”

My heart swerved sharply as I drank him in, his cheeks flushed, hair dishevelled and body heaving the longer I worked him. I twisted my hand a little, and he grunted, head falling back and hips bucking. I could feel him pulse, could tell he was getting closer, closer to that edge, his breath shuddering.

Azriel groaned. His fingers slid into my hair, threading through the strands and beginning to guide me, like he just couldn't help himself anymore, had to touch me, his grip tight as his flashing eyes followed my movements. My teeth grazed the underside of his head, and Azriel grunted, his voice strangled.

“If you don't stop I'll -“

I looked up at him through my lashes and sent him a crooked, cheeky smile that made him break off with a grunt. Then I swirled my tongue around his tip and sucked him into my mouth, and Azriel unravelled with a sound so deep, it vibrated through my very bones.

His head fell back, his back arched and his hips bucked, and Azriel came with a shudder. His load hit the back of my throat, and I swallowed it all, the salty taste causing my eyes to flutter.

Sucking gently for a few more seconds, I slowly let him go, gently brushing my thumb over his base, and my eyes met Azriel's, flickering amber in the firelight, his skin glowing with a thin layer of sweat as his burning eyes dragged over my face. His grip tightened in my hair, and he tugged, pulling me up his body.

My breath hitched when our noses brushed. Azriel's eyes looked like molten gold in the light, the flecks all swimming together in his hazel iris as it flickered over my face, and I felt my heart rise, trembling –

“Get on your back.”

I needed a second to realize the meaning behind the words mumbled against my skin, so deep and low and like a tremble running down my spine.

A wave of heat washed through me, my stomach twisted tight, and I blinked and pulled back my head, feeling my brows crunch incredulously.

“You're still hurt. No way; you're staying like this.”

Azriel's eyes darkened.

“Now.”

“No.” I glared back, which really, was ridiculous, because just the thought of him between my legs caused the pulsing feeling in my stomach to intensify tenfold, and I knew he could sense it, saw it in the way his nostrils flared and eyes flashed, but –

Azriel's hands closed around my sides, sliding my underwear down my legs; he groaned deep in his chest, then rough scarred fingers dug into my skin, right where my thighs and hips met, and my heart dipped and fell when Azriel dragged me up, up his torso, up over his shoulders.

“Wha-“ My breath got caught in my throat, and I hastily grabbed onto the headboard to not loose my balance, my eyes widening when I realised what he was doing.

My gaze whipped down; I tried to lift my hips, and Azriel wrapped his arms over my thighs and dragged me down, his piercing eyes meeting mine.

“No; I'm too –“

Azriel's tongue sliced through my folds, and I jolted and whimpered a string of trembling curses, my hips bucking down onto his face as my stomach twisted and my spine melted into burning, glowing matter.

Azriel groaned, the vibration travelling through me, and I dug my fingers into the headboard, feeling my heart tip over and insides clench.

“Shit – I –“ I tried to twist away in a weak attempt of trying to keep my weight off of him, but Azriel dragged me down further, not seeming to give a fuck about suffocating as he licked a broad stripe through my folds. His eyes flutterered, and he gave another grunt.

“Perfect.”

The low mumble rose up my spine, so deep and gravelly, my insides tightened around nothing. My breath shuddered, my brows crunched as my lips parted, and Azriel buried his face between my legs.

Whimpered curses spilled from my throat, senseless, blending into each other as my limbs trembled and Azriel's tongue traced the shape of me, mapping it like he was trying to commit to memory. Then he lazily circled my clit, and my lips parted, brows crunching as my hips bucked down in reflex and a whimper built in my throat.

My eyes flew down, and I could feel myself clench when my eyes met Azriel's, burning and flaring as he dipped his chin.

My breath hitched in a whine, and my hips spasmed when Azriel licked over my clit and sucked. His grip tightened, and the shadowsinger hummed, his nose nudging against my skin as his hazy, hooded eyes tracked over my face, molten like gold. My left hand flew down to bury in his dark hair as he ground my hips down onto his face, and I whimpered.

My body shook, the reason now far from freezing as my spine shuddered and hips bucked and waves of heat washed over me as I felt the world tip. Then Azriel's tongue slid into me, and my insides shuddered.

A breathless sound left me, I clenched, and Azriel groaned, tugging me down, and my head fell back as his tongue started to lazily dip in and out of me, circling, lapping until my body melted into a puddle. My fingers dug into his hair, nails scraping over his scalp as my hips rolled down without me being able to control it, but Azriel just gave a deep sound that travelled through me, his heavily hooded eyes fixed hungrily onto my face.

A knot formed in my lower stomach. Slowly, it build, twisting and churning as Azriel carried me towards something that would probably make me lose every last bit of control over my body, sucking on my clit, his eyes trained onto my face, coaxing every little reaction out of me, from my trembling fingers to my eyes rolling and head falling back, my thighs shaking next to his head –

Azriel's hand shifted, sliding down over my stomach. His tongue slid into me, and his thumb found my clit, circling tightly.

The world exploded, shattering as heat washed over me and the knot inside me bursted into a thousand stars. My hips spasmed, my back arching as my body tightened and loud, trembling noises left me that caused my fingers to curl and chest to tighten, my spine bleeding into nothingness, waves of blinding pleasure racking through me and causing my body to shudder and tremble. My hips jerked, and something bloomed in my stomach when Azriel groaned against me.

It took what felt like a lifetime until the sensations slowly dispersed and my spine stopped shuddering, and yet, Azriel was still lapping lazily at me, causing my hips twitch and a soft sound to break from my throat.

Slowly sliding my fingers out of his hair, my joints weak from clutching onto the silky strands, I weakly held onto the headboard and lifted my hips. My thighs trembled lightly, and Azriel's hands slid up to close around my hips, steading me, his head tipping back to stare up at me as I slowly started crawling down his body.

When I was hovering above his chest, I dropped my gaze. My heart rose into my throat, something dipped under my ribs, and I stilled.

Azriel's face was only an inch away. His iris was nothing but a ring of golden flecks around his blown pupils, his skin no longer pale but slightly flushed, the crease between his brows almost gone even as his jaw flexed, his gaze dragging over my face, and his lips -

My chest tightened as my breath hitched and I stared at his swollen, glistening lips. My hips bucked back as my spine shuddered, and Azriel's lids fluttered heavily, eyes blazing as his hand slipped onto my back, pushing me down, down until –

My nose grazed his, and something turned over in my chest when my own scent hit my lungs.

A deep sound rumbled through the shadowsinger's chest, his hand slid up to cup the side of my neck, and he dragged me down.

His breath ghosted over my lips, and my own hitched.

Azriel's nose softly nudged against mine, his thumb slowly tracing the curve of my throat. I could feel him, the warmth radiating from his skin, could feel his scent invading my senses and causing my heart to shudder, could feel something building in my chest as my fingers trembled.

Azriel's lips brushed over mine. His grip tightened, a strangled sound built in his chest, and he tugged me forward and crashed his lips onto mine.

My heart faltered. Then the whole world stilled.

Azriel kissed me like he'd been starving.

A breathless whimper tore from my throat, my fingers dug into the pillows, and Azriel groaned softly. His fingers slid further into my hair, then his lips parted mine and his tongue slid into my mouth.

My breath faltered as the ground seemed to sway. I clutched onto the sheets, a desperate sound building in my chest, and Azriel's hand curled into my hair as he kissed me harder, more feverish. He was kissing me like he'd been wondering what it would be like for centuries and now that he'd had a taste - nothing else would ever be enough.

The thought made something pang painfully in my chest, and I whimpered, my body curving into his as I settled on his hips, my hands sliding to the sides of his neck, tipping his head, and Azriel's breath shuddered in a deep moan as his thumb brushed over the side of my throat. His tongue swirled lazily around mine, then his teeth caught my bottom lip, and a soft whimper broke from my throat as something clenched in my stomach.

Azriel's grip tightened, dragging me down towards him, his nose brushing past mine. I could feel something travel through his hands that felt like a tremble. Then he pulled me in with a hoarse noise and kissed me again, deep and hard and feverish as his fingers curled into my hair, and something in my chest rose in a wild flutter.

part II

@azrielshadows1nger @waytoomanyteenagefeels @secret-ly-here @icey--stars @azriels-mate2 @ailyr92

[bunny-queen]

3d vs 4d

This is one of the big epiphanies I've had recently, and it's going to sound questionable. Or not. Ig many other LOA blogs have thought of this before but I'm still figuring out the logic of things lmfao

SO

nothing you do in the 3D has any impact whatsoever. It has no consequences. Nothing comes out of it, good or bad.

YOU CAN'T CHANGE THE 3D BY ACTING IN THE 3D

babes, the 3d is dead. Like legit. It's a fire gone out, you can't do anything with it. It holds no power, none whatsoever

That might seem daunting at first, but it's actually freeing: it doesn't matter!!! It doesn't matter if you saw bad grades on your last few exams, it doesn't matter what the reflection in the mirror is like, it's DEAD!!!!!

Even more, you don't have to force yourself to do anything you dislike out of hope of changing your circumstances: you don't have to study 9 hours a day, you don't have to workout religiously, you don't have to diet, because nothing done in the 3D has consequences to the REAL world

Which, finally means, that ALL CHANGE must be achieved in the 4d

Aka in your mind

Now's the part where you cry from joy and say "oh my god I'm so relieved" bc baby changing things in your mind is literally the easiest thing in the world

Going through class after class thinking "no I can't sleep I need to study more" is depressing, so instead of it you can retreat to your mind and tell yourself all you want to hear

"I've already passed my exams"

"My past grades were all A's"

"I am the perfect student"

And that's it. It's done. The minute you tell yourself these things, you've done not only everything you could—you've done everything you HAD to

You don't need to do anything in the 3d

You've changed your perception of things and now your outer world will reflect it

By retreating into your mind and telling yourself all you want to hear, you are effectively shaping your reality

And there are NO bad consequences associated with it, unless you think there are

Meaning; you won't fail your exams bc instead of studying you meditated and changed your state

...except if you obsess over that possibility and give it power

Then it might happens

But if it does, no panic, continue denying everything you don't like about the 3d, and it is BOUND to change

Nothing's ever a lost cause, nothing's set in stone

You are safe from everything in your mind

Your only job is to change your inner world. That's it

[goldenamaranthe-blog]

Angelic Steel: Chaggie

Charlie: Has anyone seen Vaggie?

Husk: I think she's out back in the shed.

Charlie: But... we don't have a shed.... (walks out back and sees a sizeable shed) WHEN DID WE GET A SHED?!?!

Husk: About a week ago when Vaggie had an epiphany to try a new hobby.

Charlie: Wait. Vaggie's trying a new hobby? AND SHE DIDN'T TELL ME?!?! (stomps over to the shed and rips open the doors, instantly getting blasted by heat that's hotter than Wrath itself) Vaggie!

Vaggie: (looks up from a forge, shirtless, blacksmith apron covering her front, and covered in sweat and some soot with her hair tied up in a messy bun) What's up, babe?

Charlie: (jaw drops as her eyes turn red and scour Vaggie's exposed skin) Wha...... *gulp* What... uh... what are you-?

Vaggie: (pulls a white hot rail of steel out of a handmade forge with a smile) I figured out how to make and forge angelic steel!

Charlie: (blushing as her tail sprouts and starts flicking back and forth like a cat) You're forged angelic steel~.....

Vaggie: Uh... Babe?

Charlie: I never realized how much I've wanted to make love to a sexy welder all my life~ (slides the shed door shut and starts prowling forward in demon mode)

Vaggie: (sweat drop) .....T-Technically... I'm a blacksmith.... SHIT!!! (drops the rod, cursing at herself when she hears the steel shatter, and runs for the backdoor of the shed)

Charlie: (gives chase) Where are you going, forge goddess?!~ I have a fire you can play with!~

[remcycl333]

OMG I was listening to Edward Art “Frequency” lecture on Youtube and had a damn epiphany after he said this:

“ In this case the imagination is the muscle that needs to be shaped, but the actions we’re performing the exercise is to feel the wish fulfilled everyday. That’s what one must do, you must be consistent about it daily. I’ll say this and I mean this in all seriousness is that feeling the wish fulfilled ONE time is greater than listening to eight hour subliminal messages while your sleeping or trying to impress your subconscious or repeating a thousand affirmations a day and I’m telling you from experience feeling it ONE time is GREATER. Because once you feel it for the first time, what you’ll realize is that your desire is within you and the fulfillment is also within you and you must fulfill your desires in IMAGINATION. And once you realize that you can do that and then when you do do it, you have a profound peace that you have found it, that you found what you’ve been looking for”

Like HELOO!? You don’t need to do ANYTHING to be in the wish fulfilled except experiencing it IMAGINATION!

Experience = imagination

Why do you need to listen to a subliminal overnight to manifest your desires? Why do you need to enter the void state to manifest your desires? Why do you need sleep paralysis to manifest your desires? Because it’s “instant”? YOU ALREADY HAVE IT! Once you’ve experienced your desire in imagination, it’s ALREADY yours. You have it NOW, instantly! Why do you need to do so many “methods” to fulfill yourself when fulfilling yourself is INSTANT. Or is it because your conditioning your desires and heavily relying on instant/overnight results when you ALREADY have it 🙃 you can have blind faith that your food from ubereats will be delivered to your door but can’t have the same faith when it comes to your imagination? If you experienced something in your imagination, IT IS ALREADY YOURS!! There is nothing to fear in there (your imagination) because you can have whatever you want in there! Time doesn’t matter nor will it ever because you have it right NOW. If you spent the time you used on using all these different “techniques” and “methods” and fulfilled yourself in imagination you could be living your BEST life already. Just relax and surrender to your imagination, trust it and have faith in it. What’s the worse thing could happen by fulfilling yourself? You getting all your desires? 😭 if you could have all your desires RIGHT now if you let go of the void, sleep paralysis, subliminals, etc would you do it? I know your answer was YES 💀 the law will never fail you babe, you can’t do it wrong and your doing everything right! It’s so easy and simple, you don’t have to lift a damn pinky finger to get what you want.

Recommend post to read:

https://www.tumblr.com/sexydreamgirl/722421591825334272/what-exactly-is-conditioning-your-desires-or

https://www.tumblr.com/sexydreamgirl/722612981825961984/i-finally-gave-up-on-the-void-as-a-means-of?source=share

https://www.tumblr.com/aliamanifests/721288702915231744/i-just-wanna-say-ilysm-like-youre-literally-my?source=share

https://www.tumblr.com/sexydreamgirl/686089306257981440/i-think-the-problem-with-ppl-who-fail-to

https://www.tumblr.com/muselogy/682340252705275904/refresh

IMAGINATION IS THE REAL REALITY, YOU ARE IN BARBADOS *slams door*

Listen to source and APPLY! *mic drop*

🤍‼️

[roanniom]

i saw that you take requests and i never saw someone write how 69 with eddie would be so i would love to hear your perspective of it in a little wip (only if you are comfortable with writing that, if not please ignore me)

Above and Below

Eddie Munson x fem!reader

Warnings: NSFW, 18+ ONLY, teasing, dirty talk, light degradation, mutual masturbation, oral sex (both receiving) / 69, mentions of alcohol consumption

As with most things with Eddie, I could see it being born of a silly moment. You both are making out like fiends, both a little drunk off cheap beer from a night out with friends. And each other. You’re definitely both drunk on each other. Hands and lips everywhere, rolling around on the bed when suddenly both of you lean down at the same time, practically bumping heads.

“What are you - ?”

“I’m trying to - ,”

You both laugh as you realize you’re speaking over one another. Eddie places a hand on your cheek with a massive grin, one that you return.

“What were you gonna say?”

“I wanna suck your cock,” you reply, reaching down and taking hold of his hard member through his straining boxers. His stomach tenses but he laughs.

“Thanks baby but I wanted to taste that sweet pussy,” he says, bringing his hand between your thighs and cupping your wet heat. Though the action causes heat to flood through your body, you shake your head and try to push him onto his back.

“No, you ate me out last night. And you’re such a selfless asshole that you never let me suck it,” you say petulantly, jokingly at the edge of a tantrum in spite of the fact that you have his cock in your hand. Eddie raises an eyebrow.

“You’re calling me an asshole…because I always put your pleasure first…and I won’t constantly shove my dick down your throat?” He’s incredulous but still filled with humor. You shrug.

“Not really putting my pleasure first if I want your dick in my throat and you won’t let me have it.”

Eddie tosses his head back and laughs. You giggle along with him, well aware of the absurdity of the situation.

Both of your laughs die down, however, when it becomes harder to ignore the fact that your hands are still moving against each other. You reach into his boxers to tug on him with long intentional strokes and he bypasses your panties to play with your clit. It’s not long before your mouths are glued back together and your tongues wrestle for dominance. Fuck he feels good in your hand, but you want him in your mouth, a fact you’re reminded of by the delectable way his tongue plunders your depths.

“Eddie,” you whine, the first to break away. He stares at you and pants, open mouthed. You go to push him on his back and move between his legs again but he still won’t let you so you frown. “C’mon let me have it.”

Eddie pulls his fingers from you then and you gasp at the discomfort of being empty again. You watch as he sucks hour slick off, his eyes rolling back in his head obscenely.

“Not a fucking chance, babe. I’m going down on you and I’m doing it first,” he says, reaching for you. You writhe in his grasp.

“Can’t you do it after?”

Eddie’s eyes suddenly widen as if making room in their sights for the epiphany he’s obviously just had. But then his features immediately drop into a devious smirk.

“I have an idea.”

You shrug.

“If it doesn’t end with your cock in my mouth, then I don’t -,”

Eddie cuts you off with a searing kiss before pulling back.

“Okay first of all you’re an insatiable slut for me and I couldn’t love you more for it.” he says, giving you another kiss before continuing. “And second of all, take your clothes off.” He finishes his sentence by delivering a hearty slap to your ass which makes you yelp.

You do as he says, peeling your bra and wet panties off while watching his slide off his boxers hungrily. You make yourself pretty on your knees on the center of the bed, hoping to entice him, but pout when he nudges you out of the way. He lays down on his back with his head on the pillows. You try to clamber between his legs while you still have the chance but he grabs your wrists and stops you.

“Ah ah ah, Princess. You’re gonna sit on my face.”

You inhale sharply.

He’s only ever eaten you out while you were on your back. This is new territory. New enough that you feel your breathing speed up and this time you don’t argue.

Instead you crawl up the length of him and settle with both knees on either side of his jaw.

“Eager little thing, huh?” Eddie asks with a laugh, grabbing at your thighs. They tremble a bit in anticipation and you clutch at the headboard to steady yourself. “Tell you to sit on my face and that’s all it takes for you to forget about my cock?”

“Fuck you, Eddie,” you whine. “You know I wanted that more.”

“Well then you’re in luck, baby. Because this isn’t what I meant when I said I had an idea.”

“What do you mean?” you ask, looking down at his face, framed between your thighs and beaming. Eddie lifts his hand up and smooths it down your tummy to your mound, clearly in no rush to clarify. When he reaches the space between your legs he caresses the slick gathered there before moving up to boop your clit with the tip of his finger. You jolt at the sensation, and then jolt even more when he suddenly slaps your ass hard.

“Turn around.”

“Turn…?”

Eddie helps guide you and soon you are facing away from the headboard, giving you the perfect view of his hard cock.

“Ugh thank god,” you gasp to yourself, immediately reaching out and taking him in your hand. Eddie snorts.

“You’re acting like I deprive you or something,” he says indignantly, his hands settling on the backs of your thighs. You begin jerking him and lean down to place a kiss to his tip.

“You have, you asshole.”

Suddenly you feel Eddie slide your slick from your pussy up to the tight ring of muscle that he has yet to fully explore. You gasp.

“Eddie!” It’s an admonishment, but not too strong as you’re shocked by the thrill the action sent through your system. You crane your neck to look back at him and he’s got an obnoxious grin on his face.

“Oh I’m sorry. You said ‘asshole’ and I got distracted by my view.” He slaps your ass while you look back at him and you huff. “You’re fucking delectable.”

You shiver at the implication. You two haven’t done what you’re doing now before, but you definitely haven’t done anal of any kind yet either. The idea of breaching that barrier excites you, but maybe just one new thing a night is a better pace. So you straighten back up, slap his thigh lightly and then lick a stripe up the length of Eddie’s cock. He convulses just as you’d hoped.

“Well then eat my pussy, Eds. God knows you went on and on about it.”

“Says the girl literally drooling for my dick.”

He doesn’t hear a response for a moment but suddenly feels wetness drop onto his tip with no accompanying pressure. He groans as he realizes what you’ve done.

“That’s me. The girl drooling for Eddie Munson’s dick,” you agree happily, pumping your fist up and down his length, aided by your own saliva, before swallowing him whole.

Eddie groans deeply.

It takes him a moment to adjust to the overwhelming pleasure of you doing what you seem to do best. You move up and down for a bit before pushing further, taking him deeper till you gag.

“Jesus fucking Christ that’s good,” he moans. You come up for air and look at him between your breasts.

“Weren’t you the one insisting on going down on me first? Because I would have gladly just done this - oh.”

He cuts you of by diving face first into your cunt. He completely bypasses all teasing going straight for long, lush licks that end in a swirl on your clit.

It’s not long before he has you moaning, although it’s hard to vocalize with a full mouth. You do your best to welcome him as far into your throat as possible. The dual experience has your limbs shaking, and eventually you find it hard to continue supporting yourself above him. Eddie notices, gripping your waist and keeping you still and aloft.

When he finally pulls back, you’re on the precipice of your orgasm and his face, though you can’t see it, is covered in you. He replaces his mouth before you can miss it by thrusting two fingers inside you and crooking upwards. You gasp.

“You are an insatiable slut. Need me filling both holes at the same time, isn’t that right?”

You whine around his cock and the vibrations wreck him further. He knows he’s at the edge, so he works harder to wreck you right back.

“You’re gonna cum on my face, yeah? Feels too good, huh baby?” he mocks, knowing that dirty words really do it for you. “Don’t hold back. Theeeere, that’s it. Fuck. So good for me, Princess.”

Eddie latches onto your clit suddenly, sucking on it with a ferocity that’s got you cumin in seconds, walls tightening and pulsing around his fingers. You moan desperately with his cock still in his mouth and the vibrations tip him over alongside you.

“Fucking - oh fuck,” he breathes against your pussy as his house buck upward, briefly gagging you before he drops down, swollen, spit covered coco falling from your mouth. “Baby. Baby please…”

You understand his urgency immediately, so even though your ears are still ringing and you’re still dazed from your orgasm, you grip his cock and give him a few purposeful tugs. That’s all it takes before he’s cunning in large spurts, all over your chin, neck, and breasts. His guttural groan is delivered right into your pussy folds and you bite your lip to suppress the way the sensation makes you want to grind down on him and ride his face again into the sunset.

When his cock finally softens and he wriggles from overstimulation, you let him go and shuffle above him. When he sees your face, covered in his cum as your tongue licks away whatever it can reach - it makes his stomach flip. You smirk as you take in the affect you have on him.

“That good, pretty boy?” You ask confidently.

“My best idea yet, If I do say so myself,” he responds with the same shit eating grin.

[chosetherose]

Updated as of 6/30

The Eras Tour *Surprise Songs*

Taylor said her goal is to not repeat each show’s surprise songs so I thought it would be fun to track them as the tour goes on! Black strikethrough is included in the main set list. Purple strikethrough are included in the main set list but have been switched up at some show/s. Blue songs Taylor played but might be repeated due to messing up.

Taylor Swift

Tim McGraw (3/17) • Picture to Burn • Teardrops on My Guitar (5/5) • A Place in This World (4/22) • Cold as You (4/23) • The Outside • Tied Together with a Smile • Stay Beautiful• Should’ve Said No (5/19) • Mary’s Song (Oh My My My) • Our Song (3/24) • I’m Only Me When I’m with You (6/30) • Invisible (5/20) • A Perfectly Good Heart

Fearless

Fearless • Fifteen (5/6) • Love Story • Hey Stephen (5/14) • White Horse (3/25) • You Belong With Me • Breathe• Tell Me Why• You’re Not Sorry (4/21) • The Way I Loved You • Forever & Always (5/13) • The Best Day (5/14) • Change • Jump Then Fall (4/2) • Untouchable • Come In With The Rain • Superstar • The Other Side Of The Door (4/28) • You All Over Me (6/3) • Mr. Perfectly Fine (6/16) • We Were Happy • That’s When • Don’t You • Bye Bye Baby • Today was a fairytale (4/22)

Speak Now

Mine (5/7) • Sparks Fly (5/5) • Back To December • Speak Now (4/13, Taylor restarted part of the song but did not confirm it could be played again) • Dear John (6/24) • Mean (4/15) • The Story Of Us (6/17) • Never Grow Up • Enchanted • Better Than Revenge • Innocent• Haunted (6/9) • Last Kiss • Long Live • Ours (3/31) • If This Was A Movie (6/23) • Superman

Red

State Of Grace (3/18) • Red (5/21) • Treacherous (4/13) • I Knew You Were Trouble • All Too Well • 22 • I Almost Do (6/9) • We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together • Stay Stay Stay • The Last Time (6/16) • Holy Ground (5/27) • Sad Beautiful Tragic (3/31) • The Lucky One (4/2) • Everything Has Changed • Starlight • Begin Again (4/23) • The Moment I Knew (6/4) • Come Back… Be Here (5/12) • Girl At Home • Ronan • Better Man (5/19) • Nothing New • Babe • Message In A Bottle • I Bet You Think About Me (4/30) • Forever Winter • Run • The Very First Night • All Too Well – 10 Minute Version

1989

Welcome To New York (5/28) • Blank Space • Style • Out Of The Woods (5/6, Taylor confirmed it might be played again) • All You Had To Do Was Stay • Shake It Off • I Wish You Would (6/2) • Bad Blood • Wildest Dreams • How You Get The Girl (4/30) • This Love (5/13) • I Know Places • Clean (4/1, Taylor confirmed it might be played again, 5/28) • Wonderland (4/21) • You Are In Love • New Romantics

Reputation

…Ready For It? • End Game • I Did Something Bad • Don’t Blame Me • Delicate • Look What You Made Me Do • So It Goes… • Gorgeous (4/29) • Getaway Car (5/26) • King Of My Heart • Dancing With Our Hands Tied • Dress • This Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things • Call It What You Want • New Year’s Day

Lover

I Forgot That You Existed • Cruel Summer • Lover • The Man • The Archer • I Think He Knows (5/21) • Miss Americana & The Heartbreak Prince • Paper Rings (6/23) • Cornelia Street • Death By A Thousand Cuts (4/1, Taylor confirmed it might be played again) • London Boy • Soon You’ll Get Better • False God (5/27) • You Need To Calm Down • Afterglow • Me! • It’s Nice To Have A Friend • Daylight (6/24) • All of the Girls You’ve Loved Before

Folklore

The 1 (replaced IS multiple shows) • Cardigan • The Last Great American Dynasty • Exile with Bon Iver • My Tears Ricochet • Mirrorball (3/17) • Seven (spoken, 6/17) • August • This Is Me Trying (3/18) • Illicit Affairs • Invisible String (replaced by T1 multiple shows) • Mad Woman (4/15) • Epiphany • Betty • Peace • Hoax • The Lakes (6/2)

Evermore

Willow • Champagne Problems • Gold Rush (5/12) • Tis The Damn Season • Tolerate It • No Body, No Crime • Happiness • Dorothea • Coney Island (4/28) • Ivy • Cowboy Like Me (3/25) • Long Story Short • Marjorie • Closure • Evermore (6/30) • Right Where You Left Me •It’s Time To Go

Midnights

On 4/14 Taylor changed the rule: ALL SONGS ON MIDNIGHTS MAY BE REPEATED. I’m adding the dates to the midnights surprise songs but they will remain in black text since they can be repeated.

Lavender Haze • Maroon (5/26) • Anti-Hero • Snow on the Beach (3/24) • You’re on Your Own, Kid (4/14) • Midnight Rain • Question…? (5/20) • Vigilante Shit • Bejeweled • Labyrinth • Karma • Sweet Nothing • Mastermind • The Great War (4/14) • Bigger Than the Whole Sky • Paris • High Infidelity (4/29) • Glitch • Would’ve, Could’ve, Should’ve (5/7) • Dear Reader • Hits Different (6/4)

Other

I don’t wanna live forever (6/3)

[wtftarot]

PAC: The Sun

The Sun stands as the counterpart to the Moon. Representing clarity, the Sun leaves nothing in shadow. It speaks of blessings and growth. What do you need to learn from the Sun today? Let's fuck around and find out.

As always this reading is meant for entertainment purposes only and is not a substitute for professional advice in any way. Remember, use common sense, and don't be a dumbass.

Masterlist

Pick the Sunflowers, the Kid or the Horse and head on to your reading.

The Sunflowers page cups Rx, Justice, 7 swords, the Fool, three cups, the hierophant Rx, temperance rx

A lot of things are lookin hazy for y'all, huh group one? The energy here is super interesting. First, y'all are entering an era that will redefine what you think it means to have a balanced life. You'll figure out what it means for you specifically. Which is awesome but that's not the focal point of your reading. There's something here that feels very sneaky, not in a harmful sorta way, more like a heist. It's like you're heisting yourself back. I fuckin love that. I think y'all may have lost yourself or a part of yourself somewhere along the way. The cards aren't saying how or why, which I feel is significant. While whatever happened had its impact, it's so much less important than this, than you, finding yourself again. Now you're scheming and plotting ways to get yourself back and it's beautiful. There's so much excitement and joy here. You may still have to hide them because of circumstances outside of your control but you're not burying them. You should feel absofuckinlutly no shame about it, fyi. You had to adapt, that's all. Now though, you are plotting and planning yourself towards a life that you don't have to adapt yourself to. The clarity you're getting is clarity of self. Things in your life feel a little hazy and off because they kinda are. You only "fit" your life as it is now because you lost those parts of yourself. Things were always 'off'. You edited yourself to what the situation called for. So, as you find yourself, you won't 'fit' the roles in life you used to. You're stepping into a life that gets you. A life where those parts of you are celebrated. Moving forward you may not get many satisfactory answers from sources outside of yourself on what to do. That's cause this is a time where you are creating the answers. You may find yourself doing a lot of inner-child work in the next few months. Deconstructing outdated teachings, or just seeing through bullshit you once thought to be true. Your awareness of when you are or are not acting in favor of your true self is being heightened. Now, this all feels like the inner-shift that has to happen before the external changes. So, you may wanna seek out some alone time or journal your thoughts cause I'm willing to bet you'll be having some epiphanies or ah-ha moments. This is awesome, babe. It's gonna be beautiful to see.

random ass vibes: Cats, 8,888, the wizard of oz, My Chemical Romance, shout out to all y'all with adhd/autism. religious upbringing? Red, "you can't buy happiness- steal it", goldenrod, something about acrylic nails? first time getting them? owls.

The Kid

The Sun rx, Nine of Swords Rx, Four of Cups Rx, Page of Wands, Knight of Cups, Eight of Wands Rx, Nine of Wands Rx, King of Swords Rx

This reading was interesting as hell to do. The short version is: Y'all are intuitive, you're just not letting yourselves simply BE intuitive. You try to force things or second-guess others and it's fucking you over. 

There is a message that you may be spending too much on different divination tools when you don't need them. This reading is cool and frustrating. I had to walk away from your cards because every time I tried to read them, the message was muddled and contradicting itself? I'm writing this a day later because now that I'm not trying to force it, it's flowing like the goddamn Mississippi. I didn't even plan to get back to your reading yet. It's like 6,7 am? I was just drinking my coffee and the reading became clear. Which is the whole ass point of your reading. Everyone has different intuitive psychic skills and different skill levels but if y'all chose this group? Y'all are pretty fuckin psychic. Or you could be if you got over some self-doubt and shit. When I said you're not letting yourselves be intuitive, I mean you may be relying too much on divination tools and signs instead of your intuition. You can strengthen your intuitive gifts, and learn to interpret them more accurately but you can't force it. It seems like you've become so focused on trying to pick up on things psychically, that you're not even living in the moment anymore. Which leads us to the other side of this coin. When you're determined to know and see more when there's nothing there, you can start to take your anxieties for hits cause they're the only thing you got. It's sorta like how when you're looking into a dark space, and you start seeing things that ain't there. Which understandably makes you freaked out, then when the anxieties don't come true you doubt yourself cause your "intuition" was wrong. Truth is not everything is a sign or a hit. Sometimes a number's just a number and a bird's just a bird. A bad feeling in your gut is just your gut feeling bad. Truth also is sometimes true psychic hits are kinda dumb, most of the hits I get regularly are just my cat needing something. It's okay if your intuition is just when produce is on sale. You ARE psychic. You're also human. All of this is confusing and that's okay. We're always confused until we figure things out. This all came out with the Sun in reverse because y'all expect your intuition to be clear the way your other senses are clear. You're looking outside of yourself for something that dwells inside of you. The advice here is to learn to trust your inner instincts. I keep hearing "Play psychic games". Scry out what animals you're going to see the next day. Try to intuit what suit a card is before you turn it over. Being psychic isn't (always) foreshadowing doom, it can be super fun. Try to get readings on non-serious topics. Let your intuition flow and play.

y'all have no random ass vibes because you need to stop relying on external confirmation of your intuition.

The Horse

This reading may be triggering, I'm not sure if feelings of not deserving love are a trigger but just to be safe. If you struggle with depression, anxiety, or the like please seek professional help. I'm just a chick with a computer and a deck of cards. Remember, don't do anything to compromise your safety.

I took some time between readings, and leading up to your reading horses kept popping up everywhere. I knew this reading would be different. I did pull some cards, but they feel unnecessary because y'all's guides are just talking to me. Why are y'all so convinced you won't get a happy ending? Mind out of the gutter, please. Thank you. You seem to be utterly convinced that you will never have a solid, safe, joyful life? "None of that is for me" is what I keep hearing. It's like there is one way to be happy, one sort of life that leads to happiness, and if you do not conform to that you're just doomed to die alone in squalor? There's this energy of I cannot do things my way and be happy. I can't be myself and loved. I just heard " I don't get to.." As in I don't get to be myself. I don't get to be loved. I don't know who made you feel that way but they better fucking hope I never see them. Or better yet, hope that future you never meets them. Cause sweetie, this reading? It's about your comeback. And HOLY FUCK YALL THIS WILL BE A HELL OF A COMEBACK. There's this overwhelming feeling of happy, unbridled defiance rearing its head in you. If you haven't felt it yet, you will soon babe don't worry. This may just be a heads-up. Defiance in the face of every fucking thing that makes you feel like you'll never get what you want. SPITE. That's what yall are embracing. I FUCKING LOVE THIS ENERGY YALL. SPITE IS MY ENTIRE LIFE PHILOSOPHY. This may be sort of a "villain era" for you. You're gonna be spitting in the face of everything that made you feel like you'd never be enough. YOU ARE ENOUGH. I want to be clear, you're not going to wake up and suddenly be immune to all the bullshit you've been told. You are however going to wake up and decide to live in defiance of what people have told you. That's why it'll feel sort of villainous, you may not feel like you deserve happiness (yet, give it time). BUT is 'deserving" it going to stop you? HELL NO! This is giving happiness is the best revenge. Those fuckers saying you can't be you and loved? They're gonna have to sit and WATCH YOU. And you get the pleasure of shoving your success, your happiness DOWN THIER FUCKING THROATS. Sometimes, you have to move towards things before you feel deserving or ready, so you can learn to feel deserving and ready. It's gonna take some work and strategizing, (y'all may wanna chat with some of the people in group one) I am so fucking pumped for y'all. If y'all don't feel this energy yet, you will soon I promise. In the meantime, maybe make a happy-upbeat revenge/spite playlist. Cause above all, this is about being HAPPY.

Random ass vibes: Danger Days, snakes, cats, 666, y'all may wanna look up Hopepunk, zombies,

[azen13]

hello! could i possibly purchase the fool’s mask from the starlight pawnshop?

Love is a Fool's Game

⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⋆

Fool's Mask: A red and white mask with an eerie smile. When the clock strikes twelve, its wearer shall don it and dance with his love for their affection.

⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⋆

Description: After escaping your lover, Sampo Koski, on Epsilon, you moved to Penacony for protection. However, one night, you fall asleep in paradise, only to awaken to a nightmare.

CW: Yandere Themes, Non-Sexual Intimacy

⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⋆

You hate this planet. 

You hate the dazzling lights, the unending din, and the drunk dreamers. Top to bottom, bottom to top, inside out, outside in, every which way you look at this manufactured paradise, you can only see Epsilon. However, unlike Epsilon, there are no dangers lurking beyond every corner, no chains holding you captive in their choking embrace. You aren’t completely free, but you are free enough, and that is adequate for you.

Penacony is safe, you tell yourself, from the moment you awaken to the moment you fall asleep, completely submerged in sweet dreams.

How wrong you are.

As you fall back into a dream inside of a dream, you feel as though you are falling into a black hole. Pools of light slowly begin to drain away, buildings bend until they are completely circular, and tiny pinpricks of light in the sky redden. You hear a voice chuckling, then another, then a third, more and more joining in to form a singularity of unceasing laughter, of infinite voices distilled down into one. Even through all the distortion, you know who is laughing.

He was always laughing, always smiling, always saying he would always be there. Constant and unchanging, yet as unpredictable as the wind and weather. Pulling you closer and closer until every facet of your personality crumbled under his touch. You had escaped him once before he could rebuild you, but you knew he was back.

After eons of falling, you finally feel solid ground beneath your body. Standing on shaky legs, you hear a scuffle behind you, but when you turn around, your eyes pin empty air like an archer missing their target.

“Aw, impatient to see me again, are we?” His annoying voice rings out from every direction, bouncing off walls like ricocheting bullets. “C’mon, darling, you know I’d never leave! That’s a guarantee from Sampo Koski. And Sampo Koski doesn’t go back on his word.”

You couldn’t help but scoff at the claim. It was blatantly false, a weak attempt at permeating your strong-willed mind. You had seen plenty of Sampo’s deals and promises fall through, and figured it was only a matter of time before it happened to you, too. Still, you knew his words held power. Given enough time, they would flow through your veins and fill your heart with falsehoods. You couldn’t help but remember your imprisonment on Epsilon, how he had managed to infiltrate your mind with such lies. How he was a good man who could give you everything. How he needed you, lest his heart fail him. How he could be a lover.

He lied, of course. The epiphany wasn’t sudden, but a slow realization, like a river causing a mountain to collapse. It was a slow erosion of your soul, leaving you hollow and listless.

For some time, you believed you could love him. You believed him when he said he loved you. But his words were heresy, and his love was a game. At least, you thought it was. That was what this all had to be, right? Some type of cruel joke for a few laughs, for the sake of elation.

So, you got up and dusted yourself off. “Go away, Sampo,” you muttered, walking around the dark room, feeling around for some kind of exit.

Sampo sighed petulantly; while you couldn’t see him, his presence seemed to press into you from every direction, crushing you in his love. “But I’ve missed you, babe! You wouldn’t…” the man’s voice paused, a stilted sniffle resounding in the room, “r-reject me so quickly, would you?” 

You decide he isn’t worth the effort to respond, and instead devote your energy into the search for a way out. To your surprise, it only takes a few moments for you to grasp a doorknob. Without thinking, you foolishly twist the handle.

Laughter shrieks out from empty space, swirling in your ears like tinnitus as you fall forwards. When you land this time, you stand in a harshly-lit hallway, with four fluorescent light bulbs hanging on strings periodically down the length of the room. Standing right in front of you is Sampo.

He swaggers forwards, already sure he will win this little game. “It’s okay to admit you missed me, love,” he coos, lunging forward and grasping one of your hips with a hand. After a moment, he steals your wrist in a bone crushing embrace, drawing it to his face to press a sweet, gentle kiss to it. “If you want, I can say it too,” he teases, pulling you closer, uncomfortably so. “I missed you so much, darling.” The playful spirit in his voice dies out suddenly, and it makes every bone in your body rattle in response. You have never heard him sound so serious.

“Sampo, let go,” you snarl, pulling your wrist back and attempting to use your other hand to push the man away. But Sampo holds tight. His eyes darken, turning a distilled color of green that shine thoroughly with greed. He can’t let you go. Not after you’ve wasted so much time without him by your side, like he should be.

A quiet chuckle escapes Sampo’s lips. “You drive a hard bargain, babe,” he mutters, his hold loosening. With a sigh, levity reappears on his face, a forced smile coming to his lips. “I guess I’ll just have to be…extra persuasive.” Without warning, the thief’s form dissipates into formless wisps of smoke.

After a few moments pass, you stalk to the door, a simple white wooden one with peeling paint. This time, you hardly even get the privilege of opening the door yourself; the very moment you twist the doorknob, you already hear ear-piercing laughter ringing out from nowhere.

When you land this time, you find yourself surrounded by hundreds of thousands of clones of yourself, all lying down in the same way. As you get up, the copies of you all get up, their motions synchronized. Kaleidoscopic, in a way.

You see a flash of red and white appear in dim light in the corner of your eye. Whirling around, you find nothing. Laughter floats in the air like a dead fish washing up on the shore of a sea. You take it for what it is: a bad omen. “Y’know what? I’m feeling like a generous guy today, so I’ll give you the offer of a lifetime, honey. Come back home, and I’ll be the best lover in the universe. I’ll get a trophy to prove it if you want me to. All you gotta do? Is come back to Epsilon.”

Ignoring the voice, you work your way through the maze. As you do so, his voice gets quieter and quieter, until it disappears, never to be heard again. 

The door this time is fancier, with engraved patterns and a brass handle. When you step through, you expect to find yourself back in Penacony.

What greets you instead is your old penthouse in Epsilon. To one side, Sampo leers over you with a dangerously relaxed smile on his face. “Oh, did you really think I was just gonna let you leave?” A chortle escapes the conman’s lips as he steps closer, hands looping around your waist like a chain, binding you to him. “You’ll always be mine, darling. I always win.”

[stargirlrchive]

epiphany by taylor swift with simon and his lover :,)

nonnie i wish you knew how terribly this made me spiral :(((

so here is some absolute brainrot over this !!!

₊ ⊹ ₊ ⊹ ₊ ⊹ ₊ ⊹ ₊ ⊹ ₊ ⊹ ₊ ⊹ ₊ ⊹ ₊ ⊹ ₊ ⊹ ₊ ⊹ ₊ ⊹ ₊ ⊹ ₊ ⊹ ₊ ⊹ ₊ ⊹ ₊ ⊹

“keep your helmet. keep your life, son. just a flesh wound, here's your rifle.”

simon sat back against his office chair, his eyes locked onto a picture of you on his desk and his mind immediately reeled him in. swamped with memories of you.

like the first time he saw you. it was your first day of training at the infantry and when you met his gaze your eyes were blank and bored. and something tugged inside of his chest.

it didn’t matter that his lieutenant was going on and on about how a lot of them wouldn’t withstand recruit training. how everyone should keep their head screwed on correctly and focus on surviving and nothing else.

that was the one order he couldn’t follow. not as his eyes trailed after you day after day.

his superiors were barking orders his way but all he could think about was you. and thanking whatever circumstances in your life had caused you to want to join the military at the same time he had.

because as days turned into weeks, then months, your smile began to turn soft, and there was a special warmth in your eyes that you held only for him. it was something he cherished, like the gentle laugh that left your mouth whenever he said something that was even remotely funny.

or the way his heart thumped in anticipation to see you, and the way all his worries melted away when you looked over at him.

even when he was sent on his first raid, a rifle shoved into his hand, with his superior screaming at him that he better not end up in a body bag.

all simon could think about was how he’d keep you around, however he could.

“holds your hand through plastic now. "doc, i think she's crashing out." and some things you just can't speak about”

and then the time simon’s worst fears became a reality.

when there was a bullet wound in your abdomen and you looked deathly pale. his hand holding yours to try and anchor you but you were far too cold for his liking.

you looked sick and he hated it.

the only small comfort he had was that there was no exit wound. you’re going to be fine they said but you looked so scared as you began to loosen your grip on his hand.

and he felt his world narrow in on a singular moment. when they finally pushed him away from you and he heard the stutter of the machine that was reading your heart rate. it went flat.

simon threw up into the nearest bin.

“only 20 minutes to sleep. but you dream of some epiphany. just one single glimpse of relief. to make some sense of what you've seen.”

and then the time he startled awake, his heart hammered in his chest as his subconscious mind played a cruel joke on him.

it felt so real, the dream felt too real and tears burned his eyes.

he had retired, moved to some farm in the country side of england. in a quiet house, filled with animals that he’d tend to.

a home, one that he knew his mother would’ve loved.

but the bubbling laughter of a small child not far behind had him turning quickly. and when he turned you were there.

sat on your hip was a small babe. no more than three, and dressed in soft pinks and smiling happily. giggling before she turned to him and wiggled free from your arms to bolt into his.

his throat ached as you smiled at him, his gaze fixed on you as the child, his child, nuzzled into his neck.

you looked your age. no longer weighed down by stress or fear. no more looking over your shoulder after every few steps.

he rubbed at his eyes before he turned to the clock on his nightstand, he needed to be up shortly so there was no point in trying to fall back asleep. the coldness of his empty bed only encouraging him to leave the comfort of it.

but as he stared at himself in the mirror, the ache in his chest melted away into one of yearning. yearning for something that would make everything he went through, everything you had gone through, worth it.

“with you, i serve. with you, i fall down. watch you breathe in. watch you breathing out.”

and as he stood up from his desk, legs wobbly with nerves, he found it. that epiphany.

when your eyes met his after months apart. your final mission. the last obstacle that kept you away from him was finally completed.

the weight on his shoulders melting away with each step you took towards him.

his eyes raking over every inch of you. searching for any injury, anything that would turn this moment of utter bliss into a nightmare. but there was none.

it was just you. safe and standing in front of him.

his voice cracked as he whispered to you, “you’re here.”

“i’m here.”

and he didn’t care that there were people watching. he pulled up the bottom of his balaclava, just above the bridge of his nose and he kissed you.

kissed you as if his life depended on it.

pulling away only when you gently pushed on his chest, reminding him that you both needed to breathe. a small chuckle left his mouth as he pressed a kiss to your temple.

his eyes trailing over your face, getting familiar with the new scars that littered your features before he mumbled quietly, “have you ever thought about moving to the country side?”

[q1ngqve]

Your aventio fic got me in a chokehold and now I'm frothing??? I'm being tormented by the same principal but with Jing Yuan and Dan Heng. Reader being the anxious babe that they are avoiding them at ALL costs outside nessasary things since they don't think that their pursuit is genuine (or that they're pretty or smart enough to be with them) Anti-stalking x 100. Like "hello??? The GENERAL and IMBIBITOR LUNE, interested in me??? Sounds fake af" but their also secretly down bad as well, and having bracelets corresponding to them at all times? A subtle marking of their claim over you by your own volition would probably stir something within them.

I'd think the general would enjoy the hunt while Dan Heng tries to not but can't help but be lured in by readers sweetness. A hidden archive dedicated to you is kept by Dan Heng and updated regularly, Jing Yuan sends his retainer to check up on you from time to time. And if they discover what the other is doing??? Would they team up? Mayhaps, and If so, good luck since you have a LION and a DRAGON, pursuing you. Isn't that perfect? But good luck, once your in their grasp you are not leaving untill the only thing you can remember is their names.

I'd find it even funnier if they got access to their fanfic reading list. For me that's sacred but for them it'd be a GOLD MINE, especially when it comes to readers kinks (praise kinks, marking??? Oral??? Oh~ breeding? Now thats jnteresting) WHAT ABOUT THE FANFICS WRITTEN BY XIANZHOU NATIVES??? BRUH READER HAVING SO MANY FEATURING THEM SAVED AND HAVE WRITTEN SOME THEMSELVES CONFIRMS THE FEELING ARE MUTUAL.

Waiting untill the perfect time, they pounce. Conveniently bumping into Dan Heng during the Lunar Festival celebrations and making small talk before the General bumps into the two before suggesting getting food to celebrate the new year's. Timidly excepting the rimvife dinner goes normally untill it doesn't. The restaurant is small yet not busy despite the festivities. (they call reader nicknames (darling) that were used in readers fanfic that make reader flush) (giving genuine praise and watching them flush. Eventually Dan Heng suggest staying at the attached inn due to how crowded it is Outside " oh no! There's only one room remaining! I guess wr have to share a room. How unfortunate." 🤔 and thus all three end up getting one conveniently large private suite.

Once the door is closed they Sandwich reader between the two as Jing Yuan and Dan Heng confess their feelings, trapping reader so they dont run away. When reader objects, Flustered and in disbelif Jing Yuan cant help but tease about their "little findings" while Dan Heng eyes the bracelets on their arms. Posessiebess blooming at the epiphany of the btacelets meanings as their vidyahara traits peak out. If the insecurities come out to? Then they'll have to make sure that reader (and their body) remembers their love by devouring them whole.

( Even better if those findings are used against reader. Awe is their darling shy? And theyre tryjng to muffle their moans and hide their face? Don't worry, those two make sure reader drowns in so such pleasure that it'll be the furthest thing from their prettty little mind)

If reader ends up cover in marks almost impossible to hide and unable to walk for days after and having to be carried out of the suite the next day? Then that's none of our business.

(Sorry if this is long, I'm frothing at the mouth and losing my mind. That aventio fic has rewired my brain in the best way possible and I need to get this out of my mind ajdbdhdindkdn)

✒️

hello anon…? you are so big brained and for what 🤭ྀིྀིྀིྀིྀི i had a good time gobbling this shit up

[red-pill-to-swallow]

Doing your part in a relationship

Hey babes,

it’s Monday – a new, fresh week and the ultimate opportunity to make some changes.

I don’t know why it feels so much better to start a new routine on a Monday than it does on a random Wednesday.

I took some time after I posted my last two posts and really thought about the relationship dynamic between my man and me.

I thought about changes that I would like to make and what could help us to become a better couple.

Honestly, I was pretty shocked after all my thinking because it turns out that my man is the rock in this relationship and I am not sure why he is still sticking around when he could probably do so much better.

But let me explain:

I gave up working in my full-time job around January 2023 and have been home ever since then.

My man was aware that I was totally burned out from my job and offered me that I could stay at home and take care of the household chores.

Previously we used to split the chores around the house roughly 50/50. It was very fair and in some weeks he did more than me and some weeks I did more than him, like it’s in every relationship.

I would say that I am fairly good at housekeeping. I know how to cook, how to clean and how to do laundry.

However – I never before was responsible for everything. From going grocery shopping and planning meals to cleaning the bathrooms every week – suddenly all of this was on me.

I struggle really bad with organizing myself, this was one of the reasons why I was so burned out from my previous job, and I started slacking.

I would do the laundry one day and take three days before I started folding it. My man literally had no underwear one time and flipped out because that’s obviously disgusting and instead of improving – I started to get mad at him.

It wasn’t only the laundry, it also began affecting my cooking – which I loved doing before – and I would start making only frozen meals or just serving cold meat cuts with bread.

We started fighting a lot more because my man was sad, that instead of relaxing at home he would need to help me with my chores – after a full workday.

I had my epiphany a few weeks ago (when I made this blog) and realized that my man has every right to be mad at me. He does his job. I am not.

So, let’s see – my man works really though hours. He leaves the house early in the morning and comes home in the early evening. He’s usually stressed because his job is very demanding and he is responsible for a lot of people.

Imagine coming home to your girlfriend, who’s staying at home, and almost nothing is done. The fridge isn’t restocked, the floor is dirty and there is no food. After your shower you realize that you have no fresh underwear because your girlfriend didn’t wash any.

I would flip out too.

My behavior was/is borderline disrespectful and I am honestly ashamed because of it. I would have broken up with me if I was him.

But here we are – still together and I don’t plan on dodging this second chance.

I think many girls that want the lifestyle of a spoiled girlfriend or a stay at home girlfriend don’t realize how hard it is to organize a whole household on your own.

Yes, there might be some men out there that are so rich that they don’t mind employing staff to help around the house, but I don’t think that this is achievable for a woman in her twenties without having various high value connections in the right circles. At least I don’t have those connections.

I am responsible for keeping the house clean, making food and going grocery shopping. That takes maybe 5 hours of my day and the rest of the time I can do whatever I want.

My man only wants to come home to a clean, organized house with a stocked fridge and possibly a hot meal on the stove.

Honestly – he is the one that is working his ass off every day, not me.

The worst is, that I even started to neglect my appearance. I used to shave every second day and that slowly progressed to only once a week. I used to color my hair religiously and worked out at least three times a week.

Now I haven’t touched up my hair in over three months, my roots are disgusting and I am very ashamed because of it. I mean, even though my man pays for my beauty appointments – I couldn’t get my ass up.

However, I cleaned our whole house today. From the bottom to the top. It’s spotless. I did laundry and went grocery shopping and I made a plan on how to maintain all of those things.

I won’t share the plan just yet because I want to make sure that I can actually follow it before I share it with you.

What should you take with you after reading this rant?

Be careful that you’re always a responsible partner. Don’t be like me. If you’re telling your partner that you plan on doing something – actually follow through and do it. Don’t disappoint them all the time.

Make sure that you acknowledge what they do for you and thank them for it every once in a while.

It is unattractive to be lazy and not being able to keep up with your standards. It’s unfair to your partner to let yourself go and they have every right to be upset about it.

Think before you speak and start an argument. Are you really right? Is it worth to start an argument about something that is your responsibility?

I mean, my man made it clear in the beginning: If I want to stay at home and live a cozy life – I have to take care of the house while he works and provides for us both.

He does his part of the agreement. Every single day.

I’ve only done my part of the agreement when I felt like it and that is not okay. But I am changing and I know that he has already forgiven me for all the hassle.

See you soon

[borahaerhy]

Need Me - jhs

Summary: After moving to a new town to reinvent yourself, your past comes back to haunt you.

Genre: Yandere!Hoseok, Angst, Fluff

Word Count: 1.8k

Warnings: PLEASE READ FOR THE LOVE OF GOD- Hoseok is literally a stalker, obsessive, manipulative, and abusive, extreme dubcon, mans breaks into your house, rough sex, unprotected sex, choking, bruises, dom!hoseok, pet names, creampie, praise kink

Please do not read if you are not comfortable with any of that ^^

You walked into your apartment after what had been a long day at work. You sighed as you kicked off your shoes and let your bag fall to the ground. You started to walk back to your kitchen when you heard the sound of one of your cabinet doors closing. You lived alone.  

Your anxiety spiked as you walked into the kitchen, your heart rate quickening as you saw Hoseok wiping down your counters with a sponge.  

“Hey, babe. You have a good day today?”  

You’d known Hoseok for a while now, as you used to work with him. During the time you worked together, you became office buddies. Getting drinks outside of work even on a few occasions. What you hadn’t known about him at the time was that he was immediately infatuated with you, obsessed even. He had to get to know you, had to get to know everything about you even before you were willing to tell him.  

And so he did, and he made sure he always did everything perfectly so that you’d fall for him. You didn’t exactly fall for him, but you did fall for the way he made you feel. The way he always put you first; listened when you were stressed, helped you out whenever he could.  

You had gone out for drinks with him one evening, nothing unusual until you had gotten a bit carried away with your liquor. Then you had the dumb ass epiphany that Hoseok had been the man of your dreams, he was just waiting for you to realize it. So, you kissed him. A lot. He drove you home and even did the whole gentleman act before you dragged him into your bedroom, then there was no stopping him.  

You hated to admit it, but that night was the best sex you’d ever had. You laid under him screaming for what felt like hours as he made you cum over and over again.  

But then you couldn’t get him to leave.  

Any time you wanted some space, he came up with something that the two of you needed to do that second, together. He’d pull you back to bed, fuck you senseless and reward you with pancakes in bed and kisses everywhere. He did everything for you, and for you to just think you can do whatever you pleased without him was unacceptable.  

You moved. Changed jobs, got as far away from him as you could and he still found you. It had been less than a month, and here he was, cleaning your kitchen that had barely gotten the opportunity to get dirty. He took one look at you and the smile slowly left his face as his eyebrows furrowed.  

“Baby? You seem stressed, did something happen at work?” He tossed the sponge into the sink as he walked over to you, hands extended out. You took a step back, confused as to how he found you. He stopped, looking at you as if you were the one acting strangely. “What’s wrong, Y/n?”  

“What are you doing here, Hoseok?” He rolled his eyes as he grabbed your hands, not letting you back away from him as he then wedged you between the counter and himself.  

“I know how much your new job has been stressing you out, I thought I could help ease your anxieties by helping you out; now you don’t have to worry about cleaning,” He pulled your hands up to his lips and kissed them both gently. “Let me help you with that stress now, hmm?” He leaned down and pressed soft kisses along your neck, knowing exactly how you liked to be touched.  

“Hobi, you need to leave,” Your voice was weaker than you’d intended as he chuckled against your throat. He shook his head as his fingers dug into your hips roughly, leaving claiming bruises on your skin that showed the world that you’re his.  

“You need me, baby. You need me just as bad as I need you,” he thrust his hips into yours, the stiffness of his erection prodding its way under your skirt, his tip rubbing against your clit.  

“I mean it, Hoseok–” He didn’t let you continue, starting to get pissed off with your words. He shoved you onto the counter and spread your legs, pulling you back to the very edge where you could feel him poking you through your tights. He shoved your skirt up and ripped the crotch of your tights, his nimble fingers quickly making their way into your panties and into your wet folds.  

“ Fuck , baby you’re so wet. You can’t tell me you don’t want me, don’t need me, when I know you do,” You clutched onto his shoulders as he quickly pulled his cock out of his jeans and shoved it inside of you, thrusting harshly as he let out a deep groan. “You fucking need me baby, fuck , you wouldn’t know what to do without me,” His grip on your thighs tightening as he kept thrusting in and out of you as fast as he could.  

You stayed silent, trying not to moan as he ripped your tights even more. He groaned loudly as he pulled your shirt down, taking your bra with it, your soft delicate breast now visible to him. He chuckled lightly, his agile hips moving faster than you thought they could as he took your breast in his mouth, sucking on it harshly as his fingertips scratched down the length of your thighs.  

“C’mon, baby. I know you wanna scream out for me. I know how good my dick makes you feel,” He was breathless as he whispered into your ear, the heat of his breath tickling your neck as one of his hands moved to rub into your clit. “I can feel you clenching around me, Y/n. Don’t even try to fucking lie to me,” his voice now a low growl as he hastily pulled your shirt over your head and practically ripped your bra off you before he pulled your legs to wrap around his waist.  

He wrapped one arm around your back as the other gripped your thigh and pulled you off the counter almost as quickly as he’d pushed you up against it. He dropped to his knees and not-so-gently laid you down on the hard cold floor of your kitchen, where he could continue to fuck you at a much more ruthless pace than he had been. Your skirt was pulled all the way up so that he could see exactly what he was doing to you, and exactly how wet you were getting as his dick forcefully moved in and out of you.  

His full body weight rested on your hips, his palms pressed into your hip bones as his fingers curled around them, giving himself more leverage to slam into you. “You’re so fucking hot, fuck , I’d kill for this pussy,” His words were to himself more than to you, but they still made you woozy as the squelching sounds echoed in your spotless home. “You’re fucking mine, you know? All. Fucking. Mine.”  

His thrusts got harsher with every word, hitting your g-spot perfectly as you bit your lip so hard the taste of blood fell onto your tongue as you tried not to scream out his name. Sweat glistened on his forehead as he moved one of your legs up over his shoulder, allowing him to reach even deeper into you.  

“Fuck, baby I love you so much,” his eyes rolled back into his head as you felt your orgasm building up inside you; and Hoseok could definitely tell. “I know you love me, just say it,” he breathlessly spoke with his face centimeters from yours, eyes soft and looking so longingly into yours as he tried to get you to say what he wanted – what he needed – back. “Tell me you need me, tell me you love me, fuck, tell me anything, sweetheart. I need you,” he kissed your lips, forcing his tongue into your mouth as you finally moved your hands to tangle in his hair, moaning loudly into his mouth as you clenched down onto him.  

He smirked against you as he moved his hand back down to circle your aching clit. You moaned out as his lips left yours, licking the small drops of blood off his lips as he brought his other hand up to grab your bottom lip between his thumb and forefinger, pulling it slightly as he smirked down at your fucked-out state, desperate for him to make you cum.  

“This is why you need to stop resisting me,” he growled as he wiped the blood from your lip, before he brought it back up to his lip before he licked it clean, moaning at the taste of you on his lips. “It only makes it worse for you, baby,” He leaned back down, slamming into you with everything in him as he pinched your clit roughly between his fingers. “You fucking need me, baby. Just fucking tell me you need me.”  

You cursed under your breath as you kept your eyes shut, not wanting his gaze to influence you anymore than it already had. He left a sharp slap on your thigh before he brought the same hand up to your throat, wrapping his long fingers around it and squeezing, stifling the yelp that was coming out of you. “I said,” Your eyes shot open as he growled, tightening his grip on your neck. “Tell me you fucking need me,” As he spoke, you felt your orgasm reach its height as you let out a loud moan, brain fuzzy with pleasure as you decided to give in.  

“Fuck, I need you! I need you so bad, Hoseok, fuck,” You called out between moans as you felt his hips stutter as you let the first one escape, releasing into you at the sweet sound of your voice, the sound of your praise filling the room along with the skin slapping that he had inflicted upon you. His head came to rest in your shoulder as his grip on your neck loosened. He let his full weight relax on you as his hips slowed their movements, before halting altogether.  

The sounds of your deep breathing filled the room as you let your fingers play mindlessly in his hair, so used to the feeling of him against you. He lifted his head up and brought his hand up to your face, looking at your lip that was still bleeding slightly with a furrowed brow.  

“Let me get you a damp cloth to help with that while I run you a bath. Then you can tell me all about your day, Love.” He pressed a soft kiss to your lips before getting up and immediately running to get you your warm rag to help with the puncture wound from your own teeth.  

And just like that, he was in again. Making your dinners and threatening anyone who dared speak to you. You were his, and he would never let you get away again. 

[cosmiclove-heavenstruck]

(For anyone avoiding ME! -- There's an acoustic cover called "me." on spotify that I love and its what I imagine the surprise song to be like.)

I've tried to make them somewhat fit/parallel each other:

"I promise that you'll never find another like me" / "I'd give you my sunshine, give you my best, but the rain is always gonna come if you're standing with me" (the dualitiy of the best and worse)

"But he leaves you out like a penny in the rain" / "Just know I'm right here hoping that you'll come in with the rain"

"And I know that you see what you're doing to me, tell me why" / "Why would you wanna break a perfectly good heart?"

"I'm no one special, just another wide-eyed girl who's desperately in love with you" / "I watch you fly around the world and I hope you don't save some other girl" (this combo would just be funny yk)

"While she waits up, you chase down the newest thing and take for granted what you have" / "In search of glorious happenings of happenstance on someone else's playground" (do you see the chaos here)

"Who you are is not where you've been, you're still an innocent" / "Guilty reaching out across the sea that you put between you and me, but it's fake and it's oh so unnecessary"

"Don't read the last page, but I stay when you're lost, and I'm scared, and you're turning away" / "You should find another guiding light but I shine so bright"

"But you dream of some epiphany, just one single glimpse of relief" / "desperate people find faith, so now I pray to Jesus too, and I say to you, soon you'll get better" (family trauma :) i don't think she'd ever sing these together tho)

"Call my bluff, call you "babe", have my back, yeah, everyday, feels like home" / "And I want you right here, a red rose grew up out of ice frozen ground"

"But I believe in whatever you do and I'll do anything to see it through" / "These hands had to let it go free, and this love came back to me"