#high value dating

[mauvefiles]

When a woman is consistently spoken to softly & treated gently, she becomes a new woman. You're helping her heal her nervous system, you're helping her heal generational trauma, you're allowing her feminine energy to flourish, you're helping her to remember who she is.

[theambitiouswoman]

Types of relationships that look like love but are not:

Infatuation: This is an intense emotional or sexual attraction to someone that can give the illusion of love. However, infatuation is often based on idealized perceptions rather than a deep emotional connection.

Codependency: Codependent relationships involve one person excessively relying on another for emotional or physical needs. This dependency can mimic love, but it is rooted in the need for validation, control, or a sense of purpose.

Unrequited love: This refers to a situation where one person has romantic feelings for another, but those feelings are not reciprocated. It may involve one-sided affection, longing, or an obsession with someone who does not feel the same way.

Limerence: Limerence is an intense and obsessive form of attraction characterized by intrusive thoughts, longing for reciprocation, and an idealized image of the other person. It can feel like love, but it often lacks a genuine emotional connection.

Conditional love: In relationships based on conditional love, affection and care are only given when certain conditions or expectations are met. This type of relationship lacks unconditional acceptance and can be manipulative or controlling.

Trauma bond: A trauma bond forms when two individuals share intense emotional experiences, often negative or abusive. Despite the harmful dynamics, there may be a strong attachment due to the shared trauma, leading to a mistaken perception of love.

Transactional relationships: These relationships are based on mutual benefit or convenience rather than genuine emotional connection. Partners may stay together for financial security, social status, or other practical reasons, rather than genuine love and affection.

Manipulative relationships: Manipulative relationships involve one person exerting control and power over the other through emotional manipulation, coercion, or gaslighting. The manipulator may feign love and affection to gain control or exploit their partner's vulnerabilities.

Fantasy relationships: In fantasy relationships, one or both partners create an idealized version of the other person, often based on unrealistic expectations or fantasies. The relationship may lack a true emotional connection, as it is based on the person's fantasy rather than the reality of who their partner is.

One-sided relationships: These relationships are characterized by an imbalance of effort, care, or emotional investment. One person may consistently give more while the other takes without reciprocation. It can create an illusion of love, but it lacks equality and mutual respect.

Love addiction: Love addiction refers to a compulsive or obsessive pattern of seeking out relationships and being dependent on the euphoric feeling of being in love. It can lead to a cycle of unhealthy relationships, as the person seeks constant validation and excitement without addressing underlying emotional issues.

[sk-lumen]

Date by honoring your nervous system.

This took me a long while to realize, but once I did, it changed how I see dating and chemistry. Let me explain.

When you realize that chemistry and flying sparks have zero correlation with compatibility, you've leveled up your dating mindset.

Most often those sparks and butterflies you feel, that's your subconscious picking up on familiar toxic patterns in the other person. Patterns which remind you of past experiences or even childhood trauma. Our brains are designed to see familiarity as safe, so when toxic dynamics are all you know, this can turn against you. You have to conscious rewire your brain, and be intentional and aware of how they make you feel.

Toxicity = familiar = safe = we interpret it as attraction. If they make your nervous system go haywire, we see this as chemistry and sparks flying, but it is actually alarm bells going off to signal we are not safe.

Healthy = unfamiliar = can feel unsafe and scary. We may interpret a vanilla, calm, comfortable interaction as a lack of chemistry. But there is a difference between no physical attraction, and being attracted to someone but not feeling any sparks. The latter is normal in the beginning. If your nervous system feels calm, they make you feel comfortable and at ease, that's a good sign!

So if there's any advice I would give to my younger self, it's this: date based on how he makes your nervous system feel. Does he make you feel safe, comfortable, at ease? That's the green flag to go for.

-Lumen

[blissfullyecho]

march looks a lot like

consistent skincare routines, healthier meals, being more active, opening the windows to let in the fresh air, crisp new book pages, green juices, smoothies, daily walks, journaling, meditation, prayer, positive thinking, affirmations, mirror work, spending time with amazing people, vision boards, stretching, burning candles that smells like spring, buying flowers, planting something special, baking, picnics, feeding ducks, going to the fresh market, visiting local farms, going on a bike ride, sunshine, clean products, enjoying personal time, trying new cafes, studying, working on self-development projects, spring cleaning, spending more time in nature, thriving in femininity and stillness, seeing the bunnies in the grass, going to bed early and waking up early, listening to smaller musicians and bands, trying different things, new bedsheets, new pillows, massages, stargazing, listening to the birds, dancing in the rain, unplugging, and allowing spring to be the season of true mental growth.

[thesirencult]

Have any favourite book recommendations? ✨💘

5 Books Everyone Should Read

This is a collection of 5 books I believe anyone can read and gain something from them. These are all from different genres and I probably need to post a bigger "masterlist" of sorts when I have the time ! @siren-honey thank you for this question ! These books are some I read (or re-read) this past few weeks, so they are not my "all star" rooster but nonetheless they are great books!

The Bank by Marc Roche

This is an older book but its teachings still ring true. My dad bought this book many many years ago and it talks about Goldman Sachs and how the big banks and investment companies "rule the world ". Now I know that doesn't sound very exciting to read baout but it is great for anyone who wants to level up and open their eyes on what is really going on in the world. If you can not find the book and want to learn a bit about it, just send me a private message or an ask and I will post a summary <3

2. Why Men Love Bitches

Everyone and I mean, EVERYONE should read this book. Don't scrunch your nose because of the name! It helps you come in contact with your auntentic self and the wild feminine side of yours. Let your head down tiger ! It's time to show what you're made of.

3. Plato's Republic

A dialogue written by Plato. It doesn't only discuss the matter of "justice" but it also contains the "Allegory Of The Cave". Now, I'm studying history and philosophy so these texts are "easy" (lies!) for me to read and analyze (more lies! lol), but if you don't want to read thw whole dialogue just search it up online and read about the main points. You will still learn something !

4. 48 Laws Of Power

I'm a history buff. I love the way Robert Greene, in all of his books, combines history with psychology. Sadly, his teachings are right. This book will help you distinguish people and learn how to spot the good characters in your life. Anything by Robert Greene is great to read! You won't want to put it down !

5. The Richest Man In Babylon

This book is one of my favourites because it is a no bull$hit guide to wealth. It tecahes the fundamentals and shows that they never changed. As an example, many "wealth coaches" tell you to never buy a house and always rent, but right now we see that it is much cheaper to buy than rent. These cycles repeat themselves all the time and the author suggests you always have a home, big enough to live at comfortably or that you can rent and use as an investment property. The book is also a container of wise teachings on life in general.

BONUS:

6. The Body Keeps The Score

Health is wealth. PERIOD. I love this book cause it shows the link between our brain, mindset and physical body. If you read just one book of all the ones I mentioned let it be this. As a society we have glorified wealth and wordly accomplishments and we have forgotten our temple, our vessel of life, our body!

[becomingher-era]

[red-pill-to-swallow]

How to be attractive to men and my goals

Hey babes,

like I said – I want to incorporate RPT (Red Pill Theories) into my daily life immediately.

A few things that every women within the community seemed to be content with were:

1. You are never finished with glowing or leveling up. Never stop learning. Never stop trying to better yourself.

2. Pretty privilege is real.

I agree that pretty privilege is very real. I mean, I get affected by pretty people like everybody else, even if I don’t do it on purpose. It’s just something that is ingrained in our brains and I need to learn how to take this to my advantage.

I think I have a decent starting base, because I’m a skinny white woman in her twenties with long blonde hair. I am not really tall – even short men are at least 5-7cms taller than me – but I’m also not extremely short.

I have a petite frame but my body-shape is something between an hourglass and a peach. My face is average – I don’t really have striking features or am a natural beauty model – but my features also aren’t hideous. It’s really just something you can look at without thinking too much.

On a scale, I would rate myself a 5,5-6/10 on an average day and I guess that’s great!

But how can I make myself look better on a daily basis? I really took hours to research how I could make myself more attractive to wealthy and high value men.

Obviously, no man is like the other and every man prefers something different. One man might like tattoos and piercings while another man with the same social status thinks they are hideous. I don’t want to completely change who I am and I don’t want to spend thousands of dollars for it.

However, I really like this whole clean girl and old money aesthetic that is going viral on Tiktok right now – and I think those two aesthetics could fit me and my personality really well.

Most wealthy men seem to like this traits in women:

1. great skin without obvious pimples or enlarged pores

2. long and healthy hair in a natural color

3. straight white teeth

4. clean nails on both hands and feet

5. hairless legs, armpits and at least trimmed pubic hair

6. wearing clean and wrinkle free clothes without any holes

7. wearing a nice smell that is fitting to your overall appearance

I think those are the basics and they can be achieved by almost anyone. If you can’t afford braces make sure that your teeth are always perfectly brushed and that you’re keeping up with your dental hygiene in general.

In fact – if you have problems affording certain beauty procedures, research how to get as close as possible to them with DIYs.

For years, I always wanted to be the mysterious woman in the room. The woman with a dark aura, the woman that doesn’t speak much and remains most of her life a secret.

Well, I am not this woman even if I’m trying very hard. It would be an act that I would put on and I am sure that everyone in the room would notice.

I am naturally very bubbly and I love having conversations with people in general. I would also say that I have a broad knowledge on different topics and that I’m able to talk to almost everyone.

I am also very welcoming and I enjoy making people laugh and have fun in my presence. I tend to have strong opinions and I’m not afraid to take on a discussion.

With everything that I know about myself now, I made some points that I need to tackle in order to level up:

1. stop oversharing. Being bubbly is great but not everyone needs to know everything about my business. Sometimes it’s just better to be silent and to listen.

2. start with exercise again. I am happy with my weight but I am extremely weak and I have almost zero muscle mass. My breath is getting heavy if I have to take the stairs and my legs start to hurt after roughly 15 minutes of walking. I plan on going for a walk every day and doing pilates 3x a week.

3. start doing my hair and makeup again. My hair is long and blonde – so it is an eyecatcher. It’s also very healthy but I usually just throw it up in a bun or in a clawclip, so no one is really seeing it. I have multiple styling tools at home and I need to start using them. The same applies to makeup. I have so much great stuff that looks really beautiful and natural but I am just too lazy to use it. I plan on taking 20 minutes every day to do my makeup and to suck it up – because I usually always do a double cleanse at night, so it’s not really a struggle to take it off in the evening. It’s just inconvenient in the morning.

4. taking better care of my skin and of my dental health. I have high quality skincare and I love doing my skincare but sometimes I’m just too lazy. Let me just say that it doesn’t happen often – but still too much for my liking. Also my dental health – I need to make a dentist appointment asap. I think the last time I went was around 3 years ago!

5. buying better fitting clothes. I don’t like shopping for clothes but it is what it is. Right now I only have cute lounge sets for being at home but when I go out I usually only wear jeans with a basic top and sneakers. I want to look more polished and feminine. I want to stop wearing jeans and focus more on pants, skirts and dresses. Also literally any other shoes than sneakers.

6. go out more. I’m your typical homebody. Movie night? Reading a book? Ordering food? Count me in! I always have fun when I go out but I’m still mostly at home and I want to change that. I want to have a group of like minded friends that want to hang out with me. Maybe even at home. Lol.

I really thought hard about those six points but I think those are the first things that I need to tackle down.

In the end – I was asking myself: what could I do to feel the most comfortable with spontaneous outgoings and meeting new people?

It came down to wanting to look my best. Obviously. I want to make a good first impression and maybe even profit off of pretty privilege.

I’m sure we all know those times when we’re dressed like slobs and suddenly an opportunity to go out arises and we decline because it would take hours to get ready.

That’s the reason why I want to get ready in the morning – so I would only need to touch up if anything came up.

see you soon!

[subcoolture]

Men will never understand how heartbreaking it is to realize as women that we love men who can never really love us, because they are raised in a culture that makes them unable to. That culture have made them internalize such an entitlement that it doesn’t even cross their minds that they don’t empathize with women. They feel entitled to everything, even to those women’s love whose mere well-being, safety, and basic rights they don’t even care about. And it is seen as normal that we give our bodies and souls to these men. And it is not normal: it is violent.

[mauvefiles]

Ethereal beauty of melanin

[theambitiouswoman]

💗 A Healthy Relationship Should:

Boost your confidence

Encourage you to achieve your goals

Elevate your happiness

Bring you peace

Provide stability & security

Cultivate experiences

Nurture emotional and physical intimacy

Inspire you to take care of yourself

Enhance your life

💗 A Healthy Relationship Should Not:

Undermine your self esteem

Hinder your independence

Limit your growth

Create stress

Promote jealousy

Neglect your needs

Isolate you

Manipulate or guilt you

Be overly dependent

Ignore boundaries

[sk-lumen]

If a guy chases you, he has an agenda. He’s not emotionally invested. Once he gets what he wants or you stop running, he will disappear. Don’t give in to these men.

If a guy pursues you, he is emotionally invested. This is the kind of man that if you run, he'll stop pursuing you. If you walk towards him, he comes towards you too. If you set boundaries, he respects then, because he genuinely cares about your wellbeing.

[blissfullyecho]

march is my wellness month

[darklovecat]

How did you improve your posture?

It's as easy as ABC!

I have been engaging in a morning routine that involves following the guidance of Yuuka's instructional videos. I love her videos, her exercises are low-impact yet highly effective. She provides a preview prior to commencing the next set of exercises, it's a very welcome touch that enhances the experience for me and I appreciate the consideration for her audience because her videos are truly easy to follow. I like her voice, it helps to relax and soothe me as I engage in the physical movements. I have found that Yuuka's approach to exercise has proven to be remarkably effective in yielding positive results, I see immediate results which makes it an essential part of my preparation before important events and I would highly recommend her videos.

Cat.

[thesirencult]

MEN ARE LOOKING FOR THE APPROVAL OF OTHER MEN, NOT YOU

You know what I'm talking about. He is not looking to impress you. He is looking to impress his boys by being with you.

You are just another stroke for his ego.

Only 5%-10% of men do not care about their peer's approval. Let that sink in. You are less important to them than some of their friends are. This is why if a guy's friend makes fun of his gf he would drop her.

Now, women. We don't go around building strong relationships. Sadly, we stay competing with eachother for men's attention!! We should all create a girl circle with a couple good, strong ladies who are TRUE friends. Even if you can find just one good girlfriend or a gay friend, DO IT!

Why do you think he got you that Range Rover ? Why did he buy you the Cartier Bracelet that absolutely does not hold its own worth ?

He just wants other men to see you and feel jealous. Then they will consider him the ALphA.

When you are a high value woman you automatically raise the value of ANY MAN YOU LOOK AT.

That's why wealthy but low value men marry superficial but gorgeous women. They can play "arm-candy". Can you even imagine being with a man who does not consider you a person with their own identity, thoughts and ideas? Is the money worth it? How much does your dignity cost?

Don't get discouraged if the vast majority of men don't approach you. There are guys out there who have escaped this mindset or don't really care about the opinions of others. Sometimes I wonder if it is much better to find a "nerdy" guy rather than a boastful man. Maybe we should stop attaching value to superficial things like cars and a big attitude. Many high value men are super humble and reserved, cause they don't want anything to do with this "fast and shiny" culture.

I'm against approaching men first but I've noticed that many successful relationships start by a guy who is interested yet reserved and a girl that seduces him slowly and lets him explore her slowly.

They are only a handful of them, but look around you... How many women do you see who are truly high value in the way you're trying to be?

How many women do you see boosting men's egos and getting nothing in return?

Like I always say : Invest in yourself, build your own empire and let someone in only if they are there to support you and love you.

[becomingher-era]

[red-pill-to-swallow]

Doing your part in a relationship

Hey babes,

it’s Monday – a new, fresh week and the ultimate opportunity to make some changes.

I don’t know why it feels so much better to start a new routine on a Monday than it does on a random Wednesday.

I took some time after I posted my last two posts and really thought about the relationship dynamic between my man and me.

I thought about changes that I would like to make and what could help us to become a better couple.

Honestly, I was pretty shocked after all my thinking because it turns out that my man is the rock in this relationship and I am not sure why he is still sticking around when he could probably do so much better.

But let me explain:

I gave up working in my full-time job around January 2023 and have been home ever since then.

My man was aware that I was totally burned out from my job and offered me that I could stay at home and take care of the household chores.

Previously we used to split the chores around the house roughly 50/50. It was very fair and in some weeks he did more than me and some weeks I did more than him, like it’s in every relationship.

I would say that I am fairly good at housekeeping. I know how to cook, how to clean and how to do laundry.

However – I never before was responsible for everything. From going grocery shopping and planning meals to cleaning the bathrooms every week – suddenly all of this was on me.

I struggle really bad with organizing myself, this was one of the reasons why I was so burned out from my previous job, and I started slacking.

I would do the laundry one day and take three days before I started folding it. My man literally had no underwear one time and flipped out because that’s obviously disgusting and instead of improving – I started to get mad at him.

It wasn’t only the laundry, it also began affecting my cooking – which I loved doing before – and I would start making only frozen meals or just serving cold meat cuts with bread.

We started fighting a lot more because my man was sad, that instead of relaxing at home he would need to help me with my chores – after a full workday.

I had my epiphany a few weeks ago (when I made this blog) and realized that my man has every right to be mad at me. He does his job. I am not.

So, let’s see – my man works really though hours. He leaves the house early in the morning and comes home in the early evening. He’s usually stressed because his job is very demanding and he is responsible for a lot of people.

Imagine coming home to your girlfriend, who’s staying at home, and almost nothing is done. The fridge isn’t restocked, the floor is dirty and there is no food. After your shower you realize that you have no fresh underwear because your girlfriend didn’t wash any.

I would flip out too.

My behavior was/is borderline disrespectful and I am honestly ashamed because of it. I would have broken up with me if I was him.

But here we are – still together and I don’t plan on dodging this second chance.

I think many girls that want the lifestyle of a spoiled girlfriend or a stay at home girlfriend don’t realize how hard it is to organize a whole household on your own.

Yes, there might be some men out there that are so rich that they don’t mind employing staff to help around the house, but I don’t think that this is achievable for a woman in her twenties without having various high value connections in the right circles. At least I don’t have those connections.

I am responsible for keeping the house clean, making food and going grocery shopping. That takes maybe 5 hours of my day and the rest of the time I can do whatever I want.

My man only wants to come home to a clean, organized house with a stocked fridge and possibly a hot meal on the stove.

Honestly – he is the one that is working his ass off every day, not me.

The worst is, that I even started to neglect my appearance. I used to shave every second day and that slowly progressed to only once a week. I used to color my hair religiously and worked out at least three times a week.

Now I haven’t touched up my hair in over three months, my roots are disgusting and I am very ashamed because of it. I mean, even though my man pays for my beauty appointments – I couldn’t get my ass up.

However, I cleaned our whole house today. From the bottom to the top. It’s spotless. I did laundry and went grocery shopping and I made a plan on how to maintain all of those things.

I won’t share the plan just yet because I want to make sure that I can actually follow it before I share it with you.

What should you take with you after reading this rant?

Be careful that you’re always a responsible partner. Don’t be like me. If you’re telling your partner that you plan on doing something – actually follow through and do it. Don’t disappoint them all the time.

Make sure that you acknowledge what they do for you and thank them for it every once in a while.

It is unattractive to be lazy and not being able to keep up with your standards. It’s unfair to your partner to let yourself go and they have every right to be upset about it.

Think before you speak and start an argument. Are you really right? Is it worth to start an argument about something that is your responsibility?

I mean, my man made it clear in the beginning: If I want to stay at home and live a cozy life – I have to take care of the house while he works and provides for us both.

He does his part of the agreement. Every single day.

I’ve only done my part of the agreement when I felt like it and that is not okay. But I am changing and I know that he has already forgiven me for all the hassle.

See you soon