#had i known better for certain things i wouldnt have done them.

[1tsjusty0u]

YIGA CLAN! what are they up to....what are they doing...

OH ough so haha funny story actually..!

they sure are Doing. theyre actually banned from certain places and by banned i mean met with ruthlessness and immediate . not violence but the places where theyre banned from Will resort to that its just theyll drive them away by firing warning shock to freeze shots, to actively shooting them and starting a fight. these places include zoras domain, rito village (though less hostile), gerudo town, and kakariko village (for more obvious reasons, uh. oh man this causes grade a Problems for cado. poor guy). thered be more but theres not a lot of villages left standing, and most hylian towns only know them as bandits and nothing more. the zora were Really headstrong with the yiga, sometimes actively hunting them in areas they were in, and during the calamity their anger surged MASSIVELY with miphas death but then . turned over? rolled over? mellowed out later on. hey like a wave tide. but anyways yeah they dont hunt them anymore thankfully. the rito dont either and are honestly the better of the places to get caught by. they arent that angry but they do ban them and escort them out through whatever means they have to. most yiga only really go to hebra rather than rito village so its mostly chill. teba is a little more forceful to the yiga though- revali was known to be extremely pissed at them, enough to find and raid their hideout and wouldve done it alone were it not for urbosa. however teba doesnt want them all dead. revali doesnt either really but he absolutely uses them at target practice he doesnt like them. and kakariko village!! they dont hunt yiga really. theyre close knit and dont really Leave so they mostly just observe the travelers who pass by. yiga can station near kakariko to get to link however inside the village is immediate fury. some shekiah Wouldnt be lenient towards them. at all. theyd likely escort them out or question them, letting impa do some of the work. luckily none have been killed when caught but they absolutely sustained injuries. gerudo town is surprisingly less angry? than the others? like yeah theyll point their weapons towards you once they know youre a yiga but theyll warn you to get out or get bularia. theyre more of a nuisance rather than a true threat (besides the thunder helm). but urbosa surprisingly didnt send anyone after them though she did task them with finding the hideout. no this was personal to her and she had to be physically restrained from committing an actual war crime. goron city isnt chill with them but they arent really banned? per say? they mostly dont know about the yiga daruk didnt have the others hunt them down and was pretty quiet about it. like urbosa it was more personal to him which meant He had to deal with it, as it wasnt his comrades problem. also as death mountain became active again the yiga decided it really wasnt worth it to go there. theres easier places to get em

so whatre they doing!! theyre still robbing places for valuables and such and still going after the thunder helm and gerudo things like bowls and such. but they actually lay fairly low compared to canon. they dont destroy stables or kill people like in gboh (i dont know. if seldon died to the yiga actually, or even if the stables are Their fault but just to clarify yeag they dont do that. also SELDON D: ). they only go after link but uhm. theres actually some controversy about it? some are against it because of “more work” while others are for it to “finish what we started.” kohgas confused about the entire thing and while he knows how wreath survived he honestly doesnt know what to do. some yiga are actively mad at the clan because it now feels pointless or like theyd have to kill the hero Every Time. the monarchy isnt even action guys why bother . some are more vocal about it than others too, while others hide their disdain to be more accepted. others are actively joining the clan for purpose and to not be slaves to a day by day lifestyle, only to be slave to a day by day lifestyle because nothing is safe from that </3. others genuinely want to kill link, some hate him but question why theyre even. killing him at this point. so the clan isnt in shambles but its going through one hell of a time. absolutely No One knows what to do. it was actually more in shambles pre cal for a bit. it regained hope after calamity ganon rose but people are doubting it again now, especially because its been 100 years. but otherwise some are trying to kill link and rob people. mostly same as canon in that regard. maybe sprinkle in sheikah tech research or more actual. Studies about it. something something theyve clung to their roots far more than the actual sheikah.

also note about cado. uh. he’d be in absolute Hot Water if he was found out. hed be forgiven if they knew he was being threatened, but thered still be doubts about him and people would fear him really badly.

post . Everything. when zeldas free. uh things actually get back on track because i do want her to try and reinstate the monarchy. and while some things are good ideas (rebuilding towns and getting more houses/making areas generally safer) some are Not (REINSTATING THE MONARCHY AND A RULER CHOSEN BY DIVINE BLOOD.) focus changes from killing link to killing zelda; the ones who doubted killing link would fix or do anything moved on to killing zelda, while the other half worked on killing link. zelda has sheikah tech knowledge however, while not enough to rival the yiga she actually has some from when the monarchy exiled and hunted the sheikah, burying it but also taking a glance at it to make sure at the very least, it was Theirs rather than the sheikahs. most of her knowledge comes from studying the tech herself though, but terms and slang forgotten come from the previously stated monarchy things. so basically their knowledge collides and zelda would put up a fight against them. she can exploit their own tech theyd despise her for that. she also knows how to fight thanks to cado and. sometimes link. he doesnt train her a lot but he helps her with strength shrines and also helps correct her when need be to make sure she doesnt pull a muscle. thered be fights over whos easier to kill vs who Has to be killed.

she wouldnt manage to reinstate it and while they still go after her after that shes mostly safe while living in kakariko. i think ganon the guy would . Happen. after the reinstating the monarchy attempt however thats for later me to decide. basically its complicated. kohga respects however also fears and detests zelda. i dont think he hates her but he sees her as a bit of a threat. hes still silly though he isnt like a dark brooding “so the princess awakens…… mwuhahahahahaahaha………. once the blood moon rises Kill Her…. or else i will break your bones……….” or something hes just. “HOW IS THE PRINCESS STILL HERE????? SHE KNOWS MY SECRET TECHNIQUES. HOUSTON WEVE GOT A PROBLEM.” he sometimes goes to personally stop her but otherwise he just. half chills and half lives in fear. hes kind of mad about the monarchy honestly but once again its like “YOU HAD ONE JOB??”. not “cursed princess and her toilsome guy……………. that loathsome monarchy i will rule it” or something. hes doing his best </3. think of him constantly like. in a shinji chair pose. or that stickman reaction of a guy on his hands and knees crying. also. more tech afterwards. like the zonai tech however its the sheikah tech instead . study overdrive…..

uhhh yeah just totally normal things. :).

[1eos]

Wanted to ask: how is Arise as a whole? I love the demo but when I started playing the actual game I thrown by the slavery plot (my fault for not researching). I want to give it another try but that pink is giving me a racist vibe. Does it let up?

oh no i get u 100% when i booted it up and it said 'slaves' i was like HUH? no way....like no way....but so far (im like 30 hrs in) its avoided every common pitfall of fantasy slave narratives. the slaves don't all look a certain way and the slavers don't all look a certain way which i was worried abt. and the enslaved ppl havent done anything to 'deserve' being enslaved which i was also worried abt. everyone reacts to the pink haired elite girl w a correct amount of suspicion and teammates are chastised not for not trusting her but moreso for arguing when theyre abt to be like bombed 😭😭😭😭and the game does a really good job hammering home that no matter how much the pink haired girl helps them the slavers are overall the enemy. and in the arc im in now i was surprised bc they made a 'good' lord and then revealed that his 'benevolence' at the time was purely selfish. its surprisingly nuanced. even in the realm where other enslaved ppl help turn in other slaves theyre painted as victims who deserve to be redeemed and only the slavers don't

as someone who has a LOT of complaints abt slave narratives in video games (see my beef w dragon age) i don't have much to complain abt w arise. which is shocking bc i was VERY wary. they even made sure to never look down on slaves who didnt fight back and a character tells the main guy that survival is all u can do sometimes and that's ok. its hella clunky at times but ppl who are racist fr get killed like w no exception

the only iffy thing is the pink haired girl. she is VERY off putting and i can tell she's just a tsundere for justifiable plot reasons but it does come off as her being racist which is uhhhh. but as u progress u realize she don't like anyone slaver or enslaved and i THINK the story is going to push her to address her implicit biases and open up so she doesn't come off as a cunt. bc she is the first one to swing on a slaver so its very clear that she's pro liberation even if she's a tsundere that makes it seem like she's only doing everything for herself and like i said other characters are quick to drag her. so that probably will be the main thing that bothers you but once u get past the first 1 and a half story beats that part of her personality takes a back seat for better parts of the narrative

im glad i went in blind bc if i had known i probably wouldnt have bought it bc of how wary i am abt slavery plots but so far? im not mad at it and ive been really pleasantly surprised at how well things have been handled???

[mostlymalena]

im a wilmy local who never really looked at your blog until yesterday and while i have my own mixed thoughts, my genuine question for you is do you think the blog can be more harmful than helpful for your own mental state? im sure writing things down and getting it out there can feel healing but do you ever think that keeping things private may make them easier to deal with? and might lead to a better result? most people dont want their personal life recorded publicly on the internet, but im sure you know this. i dont say any of this with malicious intent, but it seems to me, from an outside perspective, that you do care about what people have to say in response to your words. of course i love the drama just like everyone else but how would your relationships be different if you kept it between you and those involved? i guess it all boils down to is this good for YOU or good for your ego? i understand you think you’re the most honest person on the internet and im not denying that or shitting on it because honesty is a really valuable trait to have but you can be honest and private at the same time. everyone is different but if it were me, i would be more willing to fix things and be vulnerable with a person if i was sure it wouldnt be recorded online. again, im loving the drama, but on a human to human level, how does the blog itself effect your relationships?

Loved this take!

I do not post everything on my blog. That is something Grace asked of me when we started dating and I respected that. I did not record our fights or what we were going through. I did not write about the breakup or even post about it until now.

If grace never posted on her story I would have never written the blog about the situation.

One thing I have always kinda just lived by is the well known fact that people will talk regardless. If you explain yourself, if you stay quiet, if you post, if you don't post. That is the world we live in today. Towns folk will gossip regardless, in my mind I am skipping the part where everyone just assumes my actions/thoughts/feelings. Here you can have it all laid out.

Ive been recording my thoughts on here for a long time - if you go back in the archive you can see just that. It was never something I ever published outwardly and for a long time only shared with my friends. I track metrics and realized people had found it - most likely because it has the same username as my instagram. I just put it in my instagram bio once I realized it was discovered. I didnt mind but I also never expected 350+ people to be reading this stupid blog.

What I say on here is the same as what I say to my friends, what I expect my readers to talk about with their friends. I am just not afraid to put it out there. I think the blog has done more good than harm but I would never know how to measure that.

Also I realized people already make their minds up about you and about certain situations based on how it made them feel - me writing my side/thoughts/feelings/experience will never change their perspective which is why I've never written with that goal in mind.

Being able to look back at this blog has been relieving, I am growing but in lots of different directions. That is life, that is the fragility of being a human. It our first time living and boy does it feel like it.

[snekdood]

i kinda think im not as bad as some paranoid strangers on here seem to think

[unnerving-presence]

On my shit again, you get more Caleb fluff headcanons as a result -

Caleb's the absolute definition of 'ride or die' (cowboy pun intended) He doesn't give two shits what happens, he's sticking around until the absolute end unless you tell him otherwise or betray him in some way. Oh you have horrible mood swings? That's okay bbgworl so does he. Lowkey kinda crazy? That's foine shawty it makes you so quirky and not like other girls. Man's a simp, what do you expect

With that being said, I also believe that Caleb is one of the more patient killers in a relationship despite his short temper. He's surprisingly tolerant to a lot of bullshit, and while he'll call anyone pissing him off out right away it takes a lot for them to really get to him yk

ALSO on the topic of his short temper, it doesn't matter how angry Caleb is, he would never hurt his S/O purposefully outside of a trial (unless consent was given, if you're into that) If he accidentally hurt them, while upset or not, I feel like he'd definitely be fucked up for a while.

Once he realizes what he did, he'd probably be terrified of touching you unless you initiate it, and once you make it known that you're not upset and you're okay with him touching you he just kinda... holds you for a while. During so, he's just whispering apologies nonstop, I genuinely don't believe he in any way wants to hurt his S/O and it pains him to even do it during trials.

After he's done feeling bad (for the most part) he'd probably try and get you to hurt him somehow, eye for an eye kind of thing. I had a family member that accidentally slapped me when we walked into each other and wouldn't let me walk away until I slapped him back, I feel like he'd probably try and do the same thing. (If you do slap him, please mind the jaw)

i am not complaining at all i love hearing yalls hcs also long ass post below lol

caleb always gave me arthur morgan/micah bell vibes?? that first hc just sorta reminded me of how dedicated arthur was to his gang and it just reminds me of caleb all the time ajhfdjksf (I'm so obsessed w rdr2 rn so feel free to send in any asks relating to it even tho this is a dbd blog LMAO)

i think caleb only gets a temper when people intentionally try to get on his nerves or if he messes up on something too much. i think anybody would be angered by betrayal, so i dont think he'd have too much of a temper other than him getting smacked on the head by pallets and simply making a mistake. i wouldnt be surprised if he was bipolar tbh

i completely agree with caleb not hurting you. sure, he kills people, but that doesn't mean he would intentionally hurt you. caleb respects you and never believes you are deserving of pain. i also feel like caleb thinks its immature to hit someone just because their emotions get the best of them, so he doesn't want to hurt you just because hes angry at you (he's a little bit of a hypocrite cause he'd def rock someones shit if they tried to talk shit abt you)

if caleb does hurt you accidentally or not (if its not on accident its probably one of those RARE times his anger takes control) he would probably distance himself for your safety. he'd definitely scold himself for it too. i feel like caleb likes to hide certain emotions from you so you can worry about yourself and not him, so you might not even know he's feeling guilty about it. he knows it makes him seem like an ass if he doesn't say anything, so he will confirm that he will do better and that he knows he did wrong

[oh-for-fic-sake]

The Mount Teaser

Warnings: Swearing, Typos

A/N: so this is the first little teaser for a small probably two part for the Cavillry School Writing Challenge. My teacher is August Walker as Truant officer. i hope you all enjoy. XXX

Please ignore any typo’s this is unbeta’d.  

You frowned at all the girls around you. All tittering and giggleing like children. Most younger than you. Stupid children. But each a terror in her own right other wise she wouldnt be here. You hated this place already, the garish pink and peach cheque short skirt and white blouse with a bow around the neck, even in year thriteen-sixth form you were required to be in uniform. Ugh. Mount Ephrame academy was a a strange institution. A huge 100 acre plot in the countryside huge caslte like building no not like hogwarts...Think Balmoral or somthing like that. Some gothic Victorian structure with almost everything you could think of dotted around the grounds stables, pool, walled garden, cloisters a fucking orangey even a small bloody lake! It was insane here once stepping out of the car you'd gone cold. Houston we have a problem! A big fucking problem! It was remote and a whole different world you felt it in the air as you'd entered the building lile you were cut off from the world. But if the ten foot grey stone wall that encompasses the grounds was anything to go by. You were. On the one hand it was an all girls boarding school. On the other? A prison. Its where the delinquents were sent. You go to a young offenders unit or if your bad enough or 'salvagable' your sent here if theres any space. It was unnerving. It pitches itself as an 'institution of learning, growth and reform' you can find yourself here from the age of eleven to twenty one the curriculum covers from your year seven SATS through gsce and higher education even some degrees!  Once you are here you are trapt untill you get the go ahead from principal Cavill untill you prove your 'good and well mannered and will contributeto society'. Your trapped despite your age, your classed as a ward of the 'school' untill he says you can leave. You thought it was illegal but no in actual fact it was like prison. Catch you teach and mold you untill you can become a functioning member of society. The school itself had a reputation of being effective but no one knows how or why. No one questions it, if its not broke dont fix it. Aslong as the students excel and come out as pristine young ladies no one cares. You looked around at the long line of portraits hanging on the walls. A gallery of the staff. Nintey percent male. One hundred percent of the gorgeous, even a few abnormal looking ones like a certain Mr...Rivia??. Eyes are not naturally that bright even for honey brown. Contacts. And he must dye his hair. You scoffed at his portrait. He tries to hard. Probably trying to cater to the younger teens newfound 'werewolf' infatuation thats popped up. Just a few years ago when you were their age 'vampires' were all the rage...As long as the sparkled. You paced the hall small heels clicking on the stone floor as you went. You'd done your research you'd been here just over two weeks and you hadnt been idle. Finding out as much as you could and yet nothing at all. The girls didnt talk much about what goeson here one did slip saying 'the mount' as they called the school was traditional in values and the way it handled things. The girl was quickly shushed by the others who turned a suspicious red colour. Other then that not much was said and you were avoided which was fine by you. You wasn't staying. You traced the picture frames slowly one by one the stunning thick men staring back at you from behind the glass, most blue eyed some a bright azure like the astrology teacher a Mr Kent crystal clear blues looking at you from behind thick framed nerd glasses. Others darker. Like a Mr Walker. Ah yes your new foe apparently. You stopped and stared at him, he looked tough but... looks can be deciving, just looke at that Rivia one for instance. No you didnt think the stoic Mr walker dyed his har or wear contact's, but you did think he was trying to seem more intimidating thennhe wpreally was. He was the Truant officer, normally in schools the truant officer is the only member of taff who can really touch you. But here things were. Different. You'd learned from the others that what happens in the mount, stays in the mount. Walker was the one all the students feared most he had a reputation for being the toughest and meanest of all the staff. It was said he was CIA and trained to kill-had killed. And that he hunts down pupils how skip class stalking them like prey before dragging them into his office and giving them hell before taking them to headmaster Cavill for a second dose. Dose of what you didnt know but apparently it was bad. Painful even. You doubted that very much. You doubted many things about this place, the reputation, the legality, the curriculum, the teachers! But most of all you doubted they would contain you. You doubted they'd manage to keep you here at this correctional institution. You'd got to your final compulsory year at school and been thrust into this place dragged kicking and screaming into its halls of residence and set to stay untill 'further notice' you were just about to turn eighteen! Just about to leave behinde the 'holier then thou teachers' and do what you wanted and???  No. The government decided you used up our chances. A few warnings from police and being expelled from a few schools were fine but apparently drinking underage and caught with class A drugs was a step to far. The courts called you a liability and shipped you off here to continue education in a 'safe structured environment' your parents were only to happy to agree, why wouldn't they be? You'd get a free education, free room and board and collage courses a free degree to if you were not 'reformed' withing the next yer or so. All they had to do was sign their rights to the school for the duration of your stay. And indoing so condemned you to stay here until your new Headmaster deemed you could leave and not a second before! But what he didnt know, what everyone around you failed to realise is that your not like the rest. your not a simpering little girl who'd be 'put in you place' by a few pretty men spouting sweet praise and stern glares. you were getting out! you just had to put a bit of work in. "Miss y/l/n/? are you okay?" you snapped your gaze away from the photo snapping out of your thougts seeing Mr Cavill the headmaster. Your jailor, he frowned as he gained on you coming to a slow stop before you chest heaving with a sigh one brow quirked waiting for an answer. "yes I'm fine" you spoke stiffly, it was no secret you didnt want to be here, you hadnt yet fallen under what ever fearful lusty haze that seemed to hang over the other students yet. he huffed shifting on his feet tucking the folders under his arm tightly tipping his head forward  eyeing you over his glasses with an almost scolding look the made you jolt. "Well you wont be if you hang around here much longer. Your skipping class young lady, and right infront of me to. Didnt you hear the bell?" he asked slowy motioning to the school bell in the corner of the hall but you kept your mouth shut chooseing not to look at him. "Right well come on off to class with you, I'll let this one pass but you'll not get another get out of jail free card. come on get out your planner i'll walk you to class we can say you got lost" he added waving his hand at you making you scowl and pull out the planner rage boiling inside of you and you looked at the classes. Block B Art with Mr Solo. you huffed as Mr Cavil turned and motioned for you to follow him. "Come along before Walker Catches you, he does not put up with this type of thing accidental or not and take it from me you dont want to get in his bad books he is not known for being merciful to the girls" he utterd you growled under your breath casting one last look to the portrait trying to commit it to memory. you didnt give a shit about the truant officer's reputation. you'd be the one to get the better of him. And you'd be the first  to get out! You'd be kicked out. You swear to god your not stayng here. You couldn't!

[my-muses-in-op]

First birthday on the Moby Dick

Ann couldn't believe that Ace had accedentially splurted out when it was their birthday. Neither of them really celebrated it, had never really thought that there was a reason to celebrate their birthday, since neither her nor Ace really believed that they were worth being celebrated. They were still trying to figure out if it was good that they were born in the first place.

To be fair, Ace hadn't really had any chance to avoid the question, as Thatch and Izo had played an unfair game of 'Answer with the first thing coming to your mind'. They had in turns asked him some random and very unpersonal questions at first, but it was now clear that they had wanted to know when their birthday was.

"Do you really think they have planned something?" Ace gazed at Ann, as the party to celebrate New Year was going on, the clock striking midnight coming closer and closer. It didn't seem like the pirates had anything planned, but you could never be too sure.

Ann shrugged and grabbed another bottle of soda. She did not want to be drunk around this crew, yet she wished to be drunk to foret the next day even existed. A mixed feeling that was making her really moody and annoyed, even when there was so much happiness and goofiness around them.

"From what I can tell, Thatch just loves to celebrate people and have an excuse to bake a cake." Ann let her eyes wander to the cook, who was laughing and joking around with some other members of this big family. Ann still found the concept overwhelming and wasn't sure if she had made the right decision to stay. Then again, she wouldn't leave Ace's side, he was all she had, besides Luffy. Ace had always been there at her side, always protected her, always made her feel better and she would always do the same to him.

"Maybe he made us a small cake?" Ace mused, looking at the cook too. "I wonder if Izo have made or done something. He seems like the sneaky kind of guy? Maybe they told Oyaji? Do you think they would care enough to even remember that at the stroke of midnight, our birthday starts?" He spoke softly, as he didn't want anyone to hear him, in case Izo and Thatchhadn't told everyone that it was their birthday soon.

Ann gave anther shrug. She didn't know them well enough to even guess what they planned to do with certain information. She'd been careful enough to not slip too much of personal information to them, just in case they would turn their back on her and use it against her, if they ever found out who their father was. You could never be too cautious. Her gaze found Deuce, the only ther person on this ship, knowing who their father was. So far he had proven to be a loyal friend, as he hadn't told anyone about it.

Time passed fast and soon the crew were scrambling to get more alcohol or something to drink, so they could cheer with each other, when the new year began. Ann grabbed a bottle of rum and poured half of it into a mug and handed Ace the bottle. Sharing some rum with Ace was making sure she didn't get too drunk.

"10-9-8-7-6-5-4-3-2-1 HAPPY NEW YEAR." The crew yelled at the top of their lungs, before their eyes went to the twins. "AND HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ACE AND ANN."

Ace almost choked on his drink, while Ann barely lifted an eyebrow. She should have known that it wouldnt stay a secret. Both Thatch and Izo smiled fondly and brotherly at them and while Ace grinned shyly back, Ann chunked down the rum. Screw it, she would get drunk anyway. She did not want to deal with this celebration while being somewhat sober.

"Geez ... uhm ... thanks?" Ace was a little uncertain how to react, as this was new to him, to them both. He gazed at Ann, who gave another shrug, as to say she didn't know what to say either or how to react. It wasn't like she had paid attention to how other reacted on their birthdays or celebrations. Birthdays was just another day, only that you have lived/survived anohter year.

"Come on, don't be shy. It's your birthday." Thatch grinned and pulled Ace into a sideway hug.

Izo gave Ann a pat on the shoulder, have long ago picked up she wasn't much for physical contact, unless it was from Ace or happened through fight or spare. "Enjoy the pampering on your day, sis." He spoke softly.

"Uhm ... I will try ... thanks." She gazed unsure at Izo, not sure how she should enjoy the day she killed her mother, by being born. Giving Ace a short gaze, seeing the insecurioty in his eyes too, she accepted the bottle of beer from a brother. "Anyway, let the celebration continue." She said a little more confident than she felt with all the attention on her and her brother.

"KANPAI." The crew cheered, before continuing singing - a birthday song at first - and partying. A lot came to wish them a personal happy birthday, but Marco shooed them away after a while, telling them that they had enough well wishes for now and should be enjoying the party, not spending the rest of it saying thanks.

Thatch brought them a small cake each - to their surprise with their favorite flavor too. They thanked him and sat down, until Whitebeard came, to give each of them a gift. He'd been holding onto them all night and now was time to give it to them.

Both twins blinked, not sure what to do. It was the first time they got a gift on their birthday - Garp had never bothered bringing anything and they never told Luffy or Makino when it was their birthday, even Dadan hadn't told them it.

Ace opened his first and saw it was a cleaninng and sharpening kit for his dagger. Ann got a new pair of boots, her own being really worn down at this point and she was surprised how he'd noticed this. It had been her intention to buy new ones soon.

"Thanks." They both whispered, unable to know what to feel. It wwas their very first birthday gift and while it was practical gifts, it was so much more to them and they had no clue what to do with their feelings.

"You're welcome. Now enjoy the night, kids." Whitebeard spoke and left them.

Ann and Ace gazed at each other, knowing exactly what the other felt and thought. Was this a sign that someone really cared about them being born?

"I can distract our family long enough to make you sneak into your rooms and call it a night, yoi." Marco suggested, picking up that both were overwhelmed. He made a mental note to find out why and help them with this. It was a tad unsettling to see young adults so confused and oerwhelmed by something so natural as celebrating their birthday.

Both Ann and Ace nodded and thanks to Marco, they slipped away unnoticed. They were just too tired, confused and overwhelmed to cntinue any celebration. However, this day would one day be a very treasured memory of Ann, as this was the first time she felt like being born might not have been a sin.

[sleephyjhs]

You’re sleep deprived (REACTION)

[ requested / masterlist ]

KSJ

Your head followed Jin’s shoulders as they bounced up and down. Using his shoulders as a pillow wasn’t unusual for you. He had just told his 1000th dad joke of the evening; any other night you wouldnt have found them as funny as you did.

As his laughing slowed, he looked over to see you struggling to stop, “You never laugh this much at my jokes, what’s wrong?”

Between deep breathes, you struggled to say, “Nothing.. I can’t breathe.. I think I’m overtired.”

“You must be if you’re laughing this hard,” he couldn’t help but become endeared at your beaming, yet sleepless face, “how about we get you to bed? It’s looking late.”

“Hmm okay!” You giggled, wrapping your arms around your boyfriend’s broad shoulders. He hoisted you into his arms with no diffculty and hurriedly carried you up the stairs.

Without hesitation, after he’d tucked you into your bed, Jin wrapped your figure in thick blankets to shield you from the cold, and left you to sleep. Not of course, without leaving a warm kiss on your forehead.

MYG

You’d spent most of your morning relaxing in Yoongi’s studio at the company. He’d been working on a new song and was desperate to get your opinion on it. Just a few final tweaks and it would be done.

The night before, you’d received close to no sleep at all. Coming to the end of your first trimester of pregnancy meant your constant sickness was starting to fade away. But not quick enough.

Not being the type to disturb someone else, you suffered in the bathroom with your sickness until the morning. Now, your lack of sleep was finally catching up to you.

As Yoongi played you his new song, you couldn’t help but flutter your eyes. They ached just by being open, “Honey? Are you tired? Didn’t you sleep well last night?”

You weren’t surprised he didn’t hear you the night before, but of course, he could sleep through an apocalypse, “No, I was so sick.”

“Lay down there. Catch some sleep now.”

“No, you’re working on music and I’m just in the way. I’ll go sleep in the lounge or somewhere.” You argued, standing slowly to avoid inducing more sickness.

“Thank god for headphones then. Please, just stay. There’s blankets and pillows there. Let me know if you need anything,” knowing Yoongi was always prepared reassured you for the coming months. His presence was comfort enough.

JHS

Whenever you had a spare few hours between work shifts, you’d join Hoseok in the dance studio. It’s how you met, and so you’d often use dance to reconnect with one another after a long day.

However today, you were more exhausted than usual. Before you, you watched Hobi’s blurred figure compromise different movements as he counted out the beats. Your eyes couldn’t help but fall to the floor as your heavy eyelids covered them.

“Does that look okay?” He asked, but you couldn’t reply. You heard his question, but an answer didn’t occur to you until a few seconds later.

“Huh? Sorry..” was all you could mumble. With effort, you raised your head to look at Hoseok in the eye, and of course, he was clearly concerned about you.

“You look so tired, would you like to call it a night and get home?” You could barely manage to nod at his prompt, “Come on, jagi.”

He linked his arm in yours, gathered your coats and bags and lead you out from the company building and into the car park. To you, the short trip took what seemed like several weeks.

Hoseok cranked up the heating and handed you a blanket he kept in the boot of his car, “It’s always busy this time of night, maybe get some sleep on the way home? I’ll drive smoothly, I promise.”

KNJ

You followed Namjoon closely as he toured the bookstore. Equally, the pair of you both loved books, but you’d simply couldn’t find the energy to search for your next big read.

Namjoon read different blurbs to you and made his judging comments on each of them. Usually, his witty analogies of different plots and summaries made you giggle but in that moment, you’d have way preferred a bed to a book.

“You usually pick up at least a couple of books. What’s up, do you just not feel like reading?” Namjoon asked you halfway through your widest yawn that afternoon.

“Reading would make me even more tired but I don’t think that’s possible.” You muttered, linking your arm with his and resting your head on his shoulders, “I’m okay though, take your time.”

Although you couldn’t see, Namjoon’s eyes thinned as he smiled at your drowsy slur. His cheeks folded into dimples as he thought about how to help you.

He glanced at the selection of books he carried in his right arm, “We’ll get these and go, okay? You need rest so that’s what I’ll get you.”

PJM

Once a week, you and Jimin liked to take the time to cook together. Neither of you were particularly gourmet level, however your skills put together always made for an interesting meal.

Today, Jimin was in charge. He had found a new recipe to try and so to make sure things ran as smoothly as they could, you split the workload equally.

Midway through stirring together some kind of mixture, you began to feel a rare drowsiness filter through you. It was hardly mid-afternoon, surely you weren’t already exhausted?

“Go lay down, honey,” The slowing of your stirring must have told Jimin something wasn’t right. Any other day you would have known your unresponsive state would worry him, “I’ll wake you when it’s ready.”

“No it’s okay, I’m okay. There’s so much to do, you can’t do it alone.” You insisted, using the very last of your willpower to finish the stirring.

“Look, you’re virtually finished. I promise you, I can finish this. Let me surprise you, for once?” The joking pout he formed was easily enough to convince you. Jimin knew too well your soft spot for casual aegyo.

KTH

This was your first time flying privately with Taehyung and the boys. Their latest tour kickstarted in Brazil, and as you had never been before, Taehyung convinced his management to allow you to join them.

The whole crew of staff and members flooded the private waiting lounge and inevitably caused a gentle bustle of chat and laughter. You tried hard to focus on what Tae was telling you; the last you could remember he was explaining the concept of his new favourite album.

You hated coming across as though you were uninterested, but in reality, you were just exhausted. By knowing him a few years, you knew Taehyung didn’t like to be ignored when talking about something he loved, and so trying to regain attention was your main priority.

“Are you listening?” Taehyung whispered into your empty ear (the other filled with the melodies of obscure music). His soothing, deeper voice certainly didn’t help your drowsy state of mind.

“I’m trying, I really am. I’m just exhausted Tae, that’s all.” You worried that your apology would sound like a lazy excuse, but instead, his covered arm slipped around your shoulders and pulled you into his chest.

“We won’t leave you here, I promise. Take a quick nap, and then you can get some good rest on the way there. Sound good?”

His raspy voice still sounded better than the music he played you, “Sounds good.”

JJK

If there’s one thing you knew for certain about Jungkook, it’s that he hates to lose. Which was unfortunate for him, as you also hated to lose. Playing video games was dangerous for you two, as you were both as competitive as the other.

Despite this, you, without fail, managed to hook him up to a different games console in his spare him and thrash him at any game he liked. Most of the time, he chose Mario Kart, as he considered himself to be the better driver.

After several rounds and several losses from both of you, you decided to hold a tie breaker match. It would hardly be 3 minutes; it couldn’t possibly impact the exhaustion you already felt.

What you’d failed to tell Jungkook was that your longer shifts this week were finally beginning to catch up with you. It would hurt you to turn down his end-of-week gaming tournament.

“Y/N, did you hear me?” He placed his hand above your knee in hopes to gain you attention a different way, “Would you like to call it a tie this time?”

“What? No, no. It’s okay, let’s go.” It wasn’t okay, another minute really would be pushing you but you were still determined to beat him nonetheless.

You unintentionally zoned out again, and to break your daze, Jungkook swept a blankets around you and plumped the pillows on your other side, “I promise you we’ll rematch when you wake up. I also promise that I won’t let you win.”

( i changed your request a lil as i found it a bit difficult to vary in plots, but i hope this is still okay! )

[catboymingi]

mirror, mirror on the wall - veninder chap. 8

navi/masterlist

story masterlist

pairing: mingi x reader

genre: slight angst, fluff; soon best friends to lovers

word count: 6.2k

warnings: language

det har været et problem / siden vi blev alene / [...] / det er kærlighed, det kan være svært - it’s been a problem / since we were alone / it’s love, it can be complicated

mingi had no right to be as cute as he was, still running his fingers through your hair as you were about to start another movie, something that was only interrupted by a message to the group chat.

[san]: he either managed to fix things or y/n broke all his bones

[san]: no matter what it is i support you @y/n

you looked at the redhead with an expression you didn’t even know how to interpret yourself, because you didn’t know what exactly was going on in your head; looking at him had been more of an instinct than anything, but apparently it looked questioning or curious, because he started explaining.

“they almost beat some sense into me. i just really didn’t realise that you didn’t hate me until san was about to kill me, so that’s probably why they suspect you might’ve done the same. not that i wouldn’t deserve it.”

and even though the tiny mean part of you agreed that he did deserve it - maybe not to have his bones broken, but some kind of angry outburst - the much bigger part was able to tell that he was clearly still feeling horrible about it and knew that he hadn't meant to hurt you, and that part shut his self deprecation down right when it started.

"you don't. don't say that. you don't deserve to be hurt at all." your hands had gone back to rest on top of his which were still crossed in front of your body, giving them a small squeeze to show that you weren't angry and didn't harbour any thoughts of hurting him in the slightest.

"thank you."

his forehead was resting on your shoulder and you knew he wasn't just thanking you for saying that he did not, in fact, deserve an ass beating, but also for having accepted his apology so readily. as if there'd ever been any doubt about that, but apparently to him there had.

"what do you want to watch now?", you tried to change the topic, because while you weren't angry or upset with him you didn't exactly want to be reminded of being ignored for so long and also the reason why that had even happened in the first place. you wanted to forget that in this moment, just wanted to enjoy his presence and his warmth and that he was there.

"i don't know. do you have a recommendation?"

you thought some, and you did have one, but you weren't sure if you should suggest it. you'd watched random romcoms with him before, but that had been less a matter of recommending and more a matter of just accepting what netflix suggested. you felt a little awkward recommending a romcom, especially now that you were… in a weird emotional situation. or maybe it wasn't weird, but it wasn't one hundred percent clear where exactly you were, either - you were best friends with feelings for each other and an inability to act on them before you could be certain it wouldn't ruin things. were romcoms appropriate in that context?

"you're overthinking." of course he noticed, and you nodded.

"it's silly, but i feel like it's a little different now that there's… like, not even unspoken feelings, but feelings, in the air. i don't want to, i don't know, lead you on? even though it's not like i wouldn't technically want to lead you on, it's just… i don't know how to say it."

he hummed in reply, because while he didn’t worry about anything of the sorts he could understand why you did.

“just try not to worry. what do you want to watch?”

you didn’t want to overthink anymore, didn’t want things to be awkward, so you told him, even though part of you still felt a little odd. it was the first time you were even remotely close to a relationship, so you didn’t exactly know how to act, but you tried to do as mingi said and not worry too much.

“to all the boys i’ve loved before. i’ve watched it like seven times already, and there’s a sequel, too.”

but you still didn’t move to put it on, so he leaned forward, squishing you in a little between his chest and your legs, and put the movie on.

“it’s this one, right? everything is in finnish”, the last part almost a whine because it was near impossible for him to navigate your netflix.

“mhm”, so he put it on, leaning back again and pulling you with him because he wanted to be close to you and he wanted to hold you. then you stayed like this, watching the movie, in comfortable silence except when one of you let out displeased sounds at the main characters’ inability to figure out their feelings or their dumbass behaviour. you watched the sequel, too, and then more movies that were on your watchlist because mingi honestly didn’t care much about what you were watching as long as he got to hold you, first interrupting your spontaneous movie marathon to eat a little. that was the first time he actually had to let go of you that day, and he didn’t like it, but you had to eat so he accepted his fate.

it was getting somewhat dark about one third through the next movie, something that made you feel very cosy and somewhat sleepy, the screen of your laptop being the only thing that was illuminating your room. it wasn’t late enough to sleep yet, and you weren’t tired enough to sleep yet, but you were aware of the fact that you’d be incredibly tired quite soon, and you wanted to ask mingi if he wanted to stay the night, not if he was still awake enough to go home.

“mingi?” you were surprised that you already did sound somewhat tired - it was probably just because you were so comfortable, and also because crying all week had exhausted you.

“hm?” his voice came from above you, his chin resting on your head as it had for most of the movies.

“where do you want to sleep tonight? we have uni tomorrow.”

“can i stay here?” his voice made it clear that he half expected you to say no, but you wouldn’t.

“if you want to? that’s why i asked.”

“i’ll text the boys to bring my bag. or we could go fetch it together?”

you thought for a moment, then made a decision.

“can we stay at your place? i kind of want to go over when i’m not crying. and your bed is bigger.”

not that you’d need a lot of space - whenever you shared the bed you were wrapped so tightly around each other that you might as well be a single person -, but he agreed. the boys would probably be glad to see that you were doing better, and it might spare him an ass kicking if he brought you over without having broken your heart.

“which movie is this? we can finish it there.”

you texted him the name, then replied to the boys, whose previous messages you had ignored and who were making bets on whether or not mingi was still intact.

[y/n]: were coming over soon and i want ice cream

where the ice cream idea came from, you didn’t know. you just knew that you wanted ice cream now. it was a spontaneous craving, but one that the boys seemed to be willing to fulfil.

[yunho]: which flavour?

[san]: and do we need to plan for mingi too or did you knock out his teeth?

[y/n]: wouldnt he need even more ice cream if id knocked out his teeth tho?

[y/n]: but hes fine

[y/n]: and surprise me

“i don’t think san’s going to let me live this down anytime soon”, the redhead almost whined, and even though you hadn’t even done anything you felt like you should apologise.

“sorry he’s so angry at you.”

“don’t apologise. he just really cares about you, i can’t blame him”, then, to distract you before you’d start overthinking again, “let’s go.”

you shut down your laptop and grabbed your university bag along with your wallet, keys and phone charger, and then you left to the boys’ place, almost falling asleep on the train ride, but if you had your best friend would’ve carried you without hesitation. since you managed to stay awake he opted for carrying your bag instead, holding your hand all the way just so he could be sure you’d stay there with him. sure, the risk of you randomly running away was small, but never zero, and he wasn’t about to risk anything. and he just really enjoyed holding your hand, now having full permission to simp because you were apparently simping as well, though he wouldn’t call it that for you. you were cute, he was embarrassing, or so he felt.

“my favourite!”, san greeted you as soon as you entered, forcibly removing you from mingi because he decided it was necessary to hug you tightly even though he’d last seen you this morning. your linked hands hadn’t gone unnoticed, though, so his next words were him asking you if that meant he had to sleep by himself again.

“i’m sorry, sannie”, and you genuinely seemed to be, because he had been there for you all week and you felt a little bad for “ditching” him like this, even though he’d never blame you or be actually upset. he’d just threaten mingi to wait and see what would happen if he dared to break your heart again, because as much as he’d enjoyed having you there to cuddle he most definitely hadn’t enjoyed the fact that you’d been crying your eyes out on the daily.

“just give me half of your ice cream and i’ll forgive you”, and “deal” you said because it felt like a fair compromise.

“no bones have been broken?”, seonghwa, who had now entered the living room/hallway area as well, asked, and the tall idiot shook his limbs (and managed to kick your lower leg in the process) to show that he was still entirely intact.

“yet”, san warned, glaring at his friend because he’d noticed you flinch when he’d accidentally kicked you.

“don’t hurt him, he needs to dye my hair on tuesday”, you tried to convince the black-haired boy to leave your best friend alone, and that worked as a distraction, because now he was excitedly asking about which colour you’d chosen.

“technically, i chose”, mingi felt the need to make known, because while he wasn’t going to reveal the embarrassing almost-kiss and the following rejection he did want to somehow let the others know that he was still special, still your best friend. like a kindergartener arguing about who was cooler.

“which colour did mingi choose, then”, san repeated his question with the slight alteration, rolling his eyes but smiling because things seemed to be okay again.

“red”, you informed him and the other boys that were now all gathered in the living room and about as curious as san about your soon-to-be makeover.

“is that why your hair looks like this right now? preparation for a whole new look?” yunho hadn’t asked with any malice, but you’d honestly forgotten the mess your hair was whenever you brushed it, especially if you went outside after having brushed it, any humidity higher than 2% leaving you looking like your hair had exploded.

“that’s just what it’s like when i brush it”, exasperated because you were scared they’d think it looked bad - your parents, who had the straightest hair you’d ever seen (which had frequently left you wondering if you maybe were adopted), had always thought it looked bad and told you to straighten it to fit in better, even though there was absolutely no use to straightening it because if you didn’t empty an entire can of hairspray on your head the humidity would make it explode again in no time.

“if you do this in red that’s going to look really cool”, jongho told you, and you were strangely relieved. your hair was quite a source of insecurity, so you were glad they didn’t hate it.

“where’s the ice cream?”

your cravings were still going strong, you wanted ice cream now, and you also wanted to change topic from your hair to something with less focus on you.

“we got several flavours, so you can pick and the rest has to accept whatever you leave for them”, and because yunho had been the one to get the ice cream the boys didn’t even have the right to protest when he explained the rules of ice cream division.

“san, do you like banana?”

the boy in question nodded, so your choice was made. mingi fought for the right to be the next to choose and picked the second tub of banana flavour, and the rest managed to solve it a little more democratically. san was considered the least democratic, however, seeing how he not only had his own but also a third of yours (he’d been joking when he said he wanted half of yours, but you wouldn’t leave him alone until he’d accepted a third of it, at least), and mingi turned out to be more democratic than expected, having fought for the second tub of banana so he could share with you and avoid you getting less ice cream than the rest when you’d been the one to ask for ice cream in the first place.

once the ice cream was devoured everyone moved to do their thing, which, in the case of mingi and you, was finishing the movie you’d started at your place. rewatching, rather, because you couldn’t be bothered to look for where you’d left off. after that you decided to sleep, having to borrow clothes from your best friend again because you’d forgotten to bring a pyjama. he was glad about it, secretly, though he’d never admit it, because he thought you looked cute drowning in his clothes, it made him feel soft.

“goodnight, teddy bear”, laying half on top of him because you’d missed sleeping in his arms and because he was warm and comfortable.

“goodnight, y/n.” and though it wasn’t quite how it should be yet, though you weren’t his, he was happy.

//

having to leave you alone for class was the worst thing life could possibly demand from him, but life didn’t care. he (and the other boys, but that didn’t matter much to him) got to spend lunch with you, though, and you still hung out after university, even though you didn’t need to teach him anymore. monday was over fast, tuesday was almost there, and he was hardly able to fall asleep even though you were again half on top of him because he was so excited to get to dye your hair.

“you’ll look so cool tomorrow”, he informed you when you wanted nothing more than to sleep, but you couldn’t even be mad at him keeping you up because he seemed so excited. more excited than you, even.

“only if you do a good job”, you teased, head on his chest and able to hear his heart race.

“i definitely will.”

“what do i get if you don’t?”

it was just jokes, but he took his chance to make some sort of advance, because while he did want to show you that he genuinely did like you a lot he was still nervous about actually acting on it. what if you’d think he was stupid?

“a cinema date, and i get you all the snacks you want.”

“will you sleep if i say okay?”

you were trying to hide the giddy feeling in your chest by teasing him like this, but you were also starting to get incredibly tired - the clock had already crossed the line between monday and tuesday, and you just wanted to sleep. class wasn’t all too early the next day, but both you and mingi would have to get up early since you were planning to buy the hair dyeing essentials before university, so you needed the sleep.

“fine.” he wouldn’t be able to fall asleep right away, but he could try, at least. and stop moving so incredibly much.

“okay. now sleep, you need to do a good job tomorrow.”

“goodnight”, pressing you tight to his chest because he’d just scored a second date with you.

//

“can you please just turn off your alarms, just one single day?”, the redhead whined out the next morning when it was 5am again and he was forcefully removed from the land of sleep by the tone he’d come to hate because it did this every single morning he woke up with you, and you just plain refused to turn your alarm off by this point.

“maybe if you ask really nicely. good morning.”

then you crawled out from his embrace to turn off the alarm for now, looking at him with a smile on your face. he was still so tired - he’d gotten maybe four hours of sleep because of your inability to get up at a normal time -, and he looked adorable, rubbing his eyes for like ten seconds just to force himself to be a little more awake.

“good morning”, he replied, even though he was still somewhat grumpy at your alarm. he just couldn’t not say it.

“today’s the big day”, the day where you’d finally go back to looking more like you, and also the day where you’d match with the sleepy idiot in your bed. though he seemed significantly less sleepy as he realised that he’d be dyeing your hair today, sitting up so fast you wouldn’t have been surprised if he’d lost balance and fallen off the bed.

it seemed to be pure torture to have to wait for a more appropriate time to leave the flat, seeing how he was constantly checking his phone for the time, but it only left him all the happier when it was finally time to leave. he’d gotten dressed hours ago, in an attempt to get time to pass faster because maybe it would if the time gods saw that he was ready to leave - which it, much to his dismay, hadn’t at all, but it didn’t matter anymore now that he finally got to leave.

the store was near university and he bought everything for you, not wanting to let you pay because it felt like it was a treat for him that you were letting him dye your hair so he didn’t want you to spend money on it, even though you were just as excited. then you went to class, and you were relieved he was there with you when one of the girls approached you when you were about to sit down.

“oh, you went back to the old boytoy? didn’t like the one we picked?” her voice was sickly sweet, and if you hadn’t been clinging to mingi’s hand the way you were he probably would have done something he’d regret later.

“this boytoy is more than ready to do things you really wouldn’t want me to do if you try shit like that again”, steam coming out of his ears if that were anatomically possible, “so i suggest you fuck off.”

you were glad he was towering in front of you, protecting you with his body from someone that was supposed to be your friend, because while the girls hadn’t left you alone since the party reminders of it still hurt. and they’d especially hurt last week, when the redhead hadn’t been there with you, something that hadn’t gone unnoticed and given them a reason for even more teasing. you just wanted to forget all about it and you didn’t want to see the smug expression that would without a doubt be on her face.

“you’re no fun”, but she did leave and you visibly relaxed, the grip on the red-haired giant’s hand loosening.

the class went okay with him there, lunch with the boys was fun (they were teasing a certain redhead about how he seemed to be attached by the hip to you), and the last class of the day went by without any major happenings, either, and then, then it was finally time to go home and dye your hair, something mingi’d been waiting for ever since you told him he could do it. the train ride felt way longer than it usually was, and he decided to pick you up and run with you because he didn’t want to be so slow, a plan that was quickly discarded because running with you on his back did prove to be slightly more difficult than anticipated. he still urged you to hurry, though, and because you were physically unable to not do what he asked you to when he was excited like this you ran the last hundred metres to your dorm’s building, laughing loudly when you were at the door.

once inside he immediately beelined for the bathroom, wanting to start right away, but you told him you’d have to brush your hair first if you wanted a decent dye job.

“can i do it again?” and of course he could, because he was, admittedly, better at doing so without hurting you than you were yourself.

his movements were careful and he once more managed to get rid of all the knots without any major pain, running his fingers through your hair to make sure he hadn’t missed anything before going over to his bag and getting out something that looked suspiciously much like one of his t-shirts.

“i always wear this when i dye my hair, and since it’s already dirty i thought i’d bring it along”, he explained himself, throwing the shirt towards you so you could put it on.

“let me in when you’re dressed.”

your best friend put on the plastic gloves in the meantime - he’d had to buy new ones because your hands were definitely much smaller than his, and so were your plastic gloves -, waiting for his cue to start the dyeing ministrations on your hair. he most likely had a worse case of nerves than you did, because you knew how to treat your hair and he had no idea and he was scared that he’d mess up big time and you’d violently kill him for ruining your hair.

“get to work, teddy bear”, you told him when you opened the bathroom door, and you didn’t need to tell him twice. he prepared the bleach (with some help from you because if the bleach wasn’t just the right texture your hair simply would not accept it and dyeing wouldn’t work), then he carefully spread it on your hair, starting with the tips and working up so your scalp would get a break and you’d be spared the bleach sting for as long as possible. he was careful and you really enjoyed the feeling of his hands in your hair, the attention he was paying to his job, making sure he didn’t miss a spot.

you looked absolutely silly with the blueish paste in your hair, but that was half the fun of dyeing hair, looking like a complete mess until the job was done. because of the amount of hair and bleach you waited in the bathroom rather than doing something else until it was time to wash it out, mingi checking how light your hair was every now and then.

when both of you were pleased with the result he told you to lean over, carefully kneeling next to you, who was now on all fours with only your upper body leaning into the shower, and checking the water temperature before he went to wash out the bleach. his movements were slow and soft, making sure every last bit of bleach was gone before he handed you the towel that you’d used before whenever you dyed your hair black and which was, as a consequence, already covered in colourful little splotches of badly washed out dye and residue pigment that was coming out after showering. when he realised that you wouldn’t be able to grab it without either dripping onto the bathroom floor and all over yourself or landing face first on the shower floor he started drying your hair for you, too, attempting one of those towel turbans but not very successful at it.

“thank you”, you said once you’d sat up, smiling at him. he smiled back, then told you to dry your hair so he could see what you looked like blonde and finally put the red in.

“you’re so impatient”, but you were laughing because it was kind of cute, if you were being honest.

“yes, so hurry up.”

you had no choice but to comply, drying your hair as much as possible with the towel before asking him if he was ready for the big reveal.

“just show me”, the so far still lone redhead whined, and you finally did as he’d begged you to, showing him what you looked like blonde.

“so?”

he didn’t know what to say, because he thought you looked stunning, but he also didn’t want to embarrass himself by saying so when you weren’t even going to keep this hair colour. but maybe one day he’d have to go blond with you.

“if we weren’t going to match i’d tell you to keep this” was how he decided to let you know that he really liked it without seeming all too whipped. but maybe it was time to be whipped, because he did want to show you that the feelings you seemed to doubt were genuine, from his side. so, he added: “you look really beautiful with blonde hair.”

“let’s hope i look good with red, too.” he’d flattered you and you were a little flustered, so you tried to get his attention away from your looks and back to the task.

“you will.”

he first noticed that he hadn’t opened the dye when he was already wearing the plastic gloves, sending a sheepish grin your way and asking you to please open it for him. you did as asked, handing him the little tube so he could continue, and he once more carefully put the dye in, trying really hard to not miss a spot and spread it evenly. then you waited, again, until it was time to wash it out, which he did with the same amount of care as the first time.

once it was all washed out, however, he near caused you a heart attack.

“i think i messed up”, mingi informed you, and your head shot up in fear without caring about the fact that you’d be dripping all over the bathroom floor, because you half expected your hair to be falling out. you rushed over to the mirror, trying to see just how bad it was.

“what are you talking about? it looks great!” relieved that you would not have to rock a buzzcut again, because growing your hair out after the first had been a pain and you were so glad that it was as long as it was again, chest length and still going strong.

“no, i definitely messed up”, and now that you were able to look at him you saw the playful glint in his eyes, “so i owe you a cinema date.”

“you’re a fucking idiot”, heart still racing from the moment of panic he’d caused you, “if you scare me like that again you’re not going to get any date, ever.”

his expression quickly changed from playfully teasing to a very specific emoji, one with big, sparkling eyes, as he apologised.

“i’m sorry, please forgive me, please don’t do that”, something that only worked because you were so incredibly soft for him, especially when he looked like that.

“fine, i forgive you. but you can just ask for a date instead of near killing me.” how you managed to act like the butterflies in your stomach weren’t doing somersaults was beyond your comprehension, but you stayed cool, something you were happy about. relationships were weird and somewhat intimidating, as were feelings, and you didn’t want to make it even more intimidating and embarrassing by showing him just how excited you were about the idea of going out with him.

“let me try again, okay?” and before you had a chance to reply he continued: “will you let me take you out on a cinema date this week?”

“yes, but now we need to dry my hair before i ruin your shirt”, because the dye-water mixture that was dripping from your tips was leaving small stains already.

“it’s fine, that’s why i brought this one.”

but he still dried your hair for you, carefully, before looking at the finished makeover.

“do you like it?” you were nervous, fiddling with his shirt because what if he regretted his idea now? what if he thought you looked stupid?

“yes! you look cute, but also really cool, i don’t know, but it suits you so well.”

“i’m glad.” then, grabbed by the sudden desire to hug him, you wrapped your arms around him tightly.

“thank you for dyeing my hair.”

even though your hair was still moist and a little uncomfortable against his cheek he held you just as tight, happy that you seemed to like your new colour.

“do you want to go to my place? show the boys.”

you wanted to keep hugging him, but you’d have to stop that sooner or later anyway, so you might as well.

“okay. but you help me decide what to wear tomorrow.”

he followed you to your closet, and for the first time since he’d known you did he notice that it was divided, in a way, that you had two shelves for pants, shirts, skirts and so on. you pointed to one side of the closet - the shirt shelves were next to each other at the same height, as were the others -, telling him that this was where you kept the remnants of your alternative phase.

“can i take some clothes out? so i can get a better look.”

you nodded and soon half your closet was spread on the bed because he wanted to try putting together different outfit combinations.

“hold on, i have something i just remembered”, you interrupted him, walking over to your closet and fetching something from a drawer he hadn’t dared to open because he suspected he might be greeted by your underwear. you didn’t fetch underwear, though, instead throwing several pairs of fishnet tights at him, then a pair of what he assumed to be socks, and then, the biggest surprise, thigh garters.

“maybe this helps spice things up”, and it did, because you also owned a pair of red fishnets, something he chose as the base for the outfit. then, black high-waisted shorts with a distressed hem, an oversized black crop top (that crop tops could be oversized was new to him, but he imagined it would look cute), and of course, the socks that revealed themselves to be thigh highs and the spiked thigh garters that had almost cost him an eye when you’d thrown them at him carelessly.

“this?”

the redhead was curious to see what you’d think of his amateur alt attire - he had no idea if you’d like it, but at least he knew you weren’t opposed to the clothes as individual items because they were quite literally yours.

“i think you have a secret alt girl hidden somewhere deep inside you, and she broke free when she saw my clothes”, you joked, though obviously approving of what he’d picked out.

“just don’t like her more than me”, joining in on the joking, pouting at you before a grin spread on his face because he wasn’t able to hold it in anymore.

you collected the outfit he’d picked out, some makeup and your pyjamas, then you texted the boys that mingi was coming with a surprise.

you hadn’t bothered to change out of the hair dye shirt, your hair was still slightly damp, and your friend had red splotches on his forearms from where the gloves hadn’t covered his skin. it was pretty obvious that he’d just dyed your hair, which the two of you thought was kind of fun; maybe it was just the excitement from your first somewhat-date, but both of you were full of energy still, even though the dyeing was done already.

when you were in front of their door mingi texted the boys, telling them to gather in the living room and keep their eyes closed - he’d check, he informed them -, and while you were kept outside until he’d checked you luckily didn’t have to wait for long because they’d done as asked.

“open!”

you were the surprise, sporting a bright red hair colour and your hair looking straighter than they’d ever seen it, even though it was slowly regaining its regular curliness and puffiness.

“you look like you’re way too cool for us”, yunho decided, and the others agreed.

“that’s because she is”, mingi let them know nonchalantly, wrapping an arm around your shoulder and pulling you against him. he hadn’t considered how that would leave him unable to decently walk, though, starting to waddle towards his room while gently pushing you to move along with him.

“we’re going to watch a movie”, and off he went.

“what movie are we gonna watch?”

you were half sitting, half laying on his bed, watching him as he got out his laptop and joined you, motioning for you to make room for him so he wouldn’t fall off. his bed was big, sure, but you had to actually make use of that space, which you were very much not doing, leaving barely enough room for him if he were to lay on his side, which wasn’t the best movie predicaments. you readily scooted closer to the wall, though, sitting up more so you’d be able to watch him choose the movie.

“i don’t know, it feels like we’ve already watched so many.”

he was right; you’d watched about a dozen different movies by now, maybe more, so you were slowly running out of options.

“we could listen to music? just relax a little.”

“but we’re not going to listen to those songs you put on at the pyjama party”, he told you. “they weren’t exactly relaxing.”

“you can pick.”

he did, selecting some random relaxing lo-fi beats playlist on youtube. and because you were going to relax he put the laptop on the ground, laying down and making some grabby hands-adjacent movement at you so you’d come cuddle with him. and you did, wrapped yourself around him the way he’d been wrapped around you during your first movie night, an arm and a leg slung around him and your head not on his shoulder, not on his chest, but the space in between, and both of his arms were around you. he drew on your back, nothing in particular but just because you’d told him once that the movement relaxed you, switching which hand he used when the current arm started to feel heavy but not stopping even for a second. this situation made him happy, having you there and everything being calm; he wished it could last forever.

“are you tired?” mingi didn’t know why he’d asked - maybe because you weren’t moving at all, maybe because your breathing was slow and even, maybe because he was a little bit tired himself.

“mh, not really? just cosy. you’re like a big soft teddy bear.”

he felt so warm when you told him that, full of joy, full of soft feelings. you hadn’t talked about your feelings after that embarrassing and incredibly emotional situation at your place on sunday, but knowing that he did hold a special place in your heart, that you did like him the way he liked you, was enough to already make his heart grow to twice its regular, anatomically correct size.

his hands continued roaming your back, taking turns, sometimes trying to draw an actual shape, a heart, on your back, thinking you wouldn’t notice because you didn’t expect him to actually try to draw, but after several secret hearts you did notice that sometimes his movements seemed more coordinated, and then you noticed that he was drawing a heart, something that made you smile. he obviously wasn’t expecting you to realise what he was doing, so it was a genuine display of affection, not at all to convince you that he did like you but just because he wanted to.

even though both of you were convinced that you weren’t actually tired your eyes started feeling heavy about an hour into the playlist, despite the fact that it was barely past nine, and even though you maybe shouldn’t be sleeping in your street clothes you couldn’t be bothered to change, especially not when you realised that getting changed would mean waking up the gentle giant, whose movements had stopped and who was snoring just a little bit in your arms. you couldn’t possibly wake him up, and you couldn’t possibly bother him to turn off the laptop, so you just rubbed your cheek against the soft fabric of his shirt and closed your eyes, ready to doze off as well.

[misterbitches]

Hello! @flootweed replying to the post from before. the long format was killing me. why does tumblr look like this...

I haven’t watched episode 8 yet...or have I? If it’s the most recent one. No.

Is the hornbill a bird? It probably is but I have a terrible memory and I’m dumb so. I skipped the last few weeks because I’m scawwed. How are you liking it? I did see someone say that the hornbill makes sense (without knowing what it is...at all) bc heart transplant patients only live like 5-15 years after but someone in those comments pointed out that he was so young when he got his and that’s pretty rare so he has a higher likelihood of survival. Frankly, this is the only way I will proceed. Since when did shows ever care about the heart transplant health? Never and it needs to stay that way!

What did we think of ep 6? LMAO. I need opinions! And omg it makes me feel special when I can point things out to people because I so...rarely get to LOL. Editing is like one of my favorite things ever so I can be super particular about it but I try to do the thing you do when you’re supposed to see if it works within its context. I’d like to go in with scissors and glue but alas. 

THe mic covering....the rustling....it’s like guys...please. Ironically the audio today wasn’t great. I don’t know why. IDK if you watch c-dramas but I am not even sure what’s worse between them because they dub their dramas. But actually no it’s best to have the dubbing because even tho it is painful they have to put a lot of effort into it. LOL. 

Right? @ Aey! It’s just weird if they would show us more about what he’s done instead of saying he’s done sth bad and not even explaining that....like you could even do some shitty exposition. I think if he is to be a true villain then we really need to be privvy. All the warnings make it seem like he’s a fuckin’ serial killer so when we get the scene of him at home it’s like....actually this is really serious? Maybe his pain is like...for a reason. Althought you won’t even TELL US WHAT HE’S DONE WRONG BESIDES BE JUST FUCKING WEIRD AND ANNOYING! So from what we have it’s just a realllllllll fucked up sad person lol. god i forgot about the dinner! and i totally agree. he really needs them to succeed. i like your theory because it would make the scene where he like blocks the twitter user make more sense. he also says they dont really know each other etc so it’s realllllyyyyy probable that he just sees it as a way out. if not then we shall pretend u wrote it :)

god yea i wouldnt say it is art but i also guess we technically have to since it is technically. in the way that technically performance artists are artists but mostly i uh technically ignore them. Also one of my fav BLs is called the best twins. If you do not know what it is I will not elaborate further.t 

i want to know more abt poli sci majors lmao but they sound DRAMATIC/ hopefully most ppl in ur cohort arent losers! 

hahahha i understand. there was just a thing on twitter about DSA and then the day before about reading discourse. the same thiings. over. and over. and over. and over. we are our own worst enemies but also our own best friends? but i hate tankies and that wont change. but hasan’s a decent guy. he said sth abt black ppl during biden’s primaries in GA or whatever and i was like chill. but he’s insecure and has adhd which means ur more open to being wrong and changing otherwise u will suffocate and die. 

and totally about hiding fuck ups. i’ve tried really hard bc of organizing IRL to like...be honest, question, etc but also like...approach it naturally? because if you’re trying to be perfect and so worried you’ll fuck up you don’t realize that puts  more stress on you, makes you seem like a robot, and could potentially not make you realize the mistkaes you made. also if we’re privileged in certain spaces there is just no possible way we won’t get something wrong. im light and i know that honestly any way to speak up on colorism is going to be difficult and that’s a space where i have power so i just have to figure it out. we should be uncomfortable because we have to sit with unpleasant feelings and sort through our own whatever. that just makes the next time even better and people can trust u more.  i think some people sweat it sooo much or maybe they think their personal life and what theyve been through is more the norm? on the other hand people can be sf reactionary in the worst way and idk what their issue is. there was also a user who said sth very inch arresting about tankies which i thoroughly enjoyed (how like violent lefitsts or tankies / ppl who are like ooh a gun whatever just want to be violent in another space so they have shit tendencies from jump and nothing of substance which i think i agree with tbh fo ra lottttt of ppl. like their anger is actually like “no im about to beat that ass” instead of what we actually want to get done) 

sort of in the same vein re: taking it easy...we coudl all be more understanding too. to slow it down like you mentioned about not being privvy to fucking eveyrthing and saying anything on our mind. i saw this person talk about y2k which was a huge deal while happening bc it was the turn of the millenium (bruh were u even alive?) but this twitter user grew up in a super super SUPER religious household and was like why do ppl make jokes about Y2K it was insanely traumatizing? though my first instinct was confused ive tried hard to like look more before i judge especially thanks to a friend of mine. turns out that with the further reading the more we found out he was just really traumatized; it was very common in religious households to be afraid of 2000. so we could have come at him with no understanding and he could have thought that everyone had the same experience with that year that he did. his feelings sit precedent though but i think it was just very hard for him to fathom. 

i didnt reply bc he didnt need that and what could i have said? he’ll see what the truth is with exposure and unfortunately this was something he really did go through. 

and that’s what makes most people think others could be over the top. because it sounded ridiculous but then it was this huge traumatic thing that we could have never known about. so maybe when someone sounds like actually crazy they have an explanation? of course some ppl are just batshit or annoying but that’s anywhere not just leftists it’ just means more i guess when a ~~librul is annoyed~ but it can be easy to want to make fun of ppl too. lmao.  basically what i am saying is the internet? especially twitter? for leftists? in this economy? bitch it’s the wild west out here.

i am 29! idk if i said it or not. i am OLD u probably werent even born in the year i was talking about wah. i know not old-old or old at all but compared to you i’m due for a colonoscopy.

omg i hope u can get vaxxed soon! are you wfh rn? i hope ur also not in a bad state as in state state not state as in ur being :| bleh what a fucking time. it sucks that you have to fucking do work. well unless u like school. which i hope u do. i just assume everyone hates it cos i did lmao

was it the lindsay ellis drama? that bitch is dumb. if there was other drama oh wait the drama i was referring to it all happened on the same day. idk book twitter that well but i saw something from someone who was abt that shit and wowie! the american people are not that.....intelligent to put it lightly.

i’ll get better. ppl tell me they miss me and im like aw. i have insanellllyyy bad insomnia and a lot of stuff happened this year HOWEVER I SLEPT FOR TWO DAYS FOR 8 HOURS AT A REASONABLE TIME. im a new woman.  anyways you too! i hope ur not too burnt out with school. we just dont know when the burnout is or we just dont know we are burnt out until we are. the panaramiciccici hit and all the things i was ignoring kind of just fell on me and sooo much happened at once. and frankly it’s hard to take care of ourselves. lord. 

Like if you aren’t interested in expanding on the issue in a way that hasn’t been done before all you gotta do it like… spread resources and donate if you can. I dont see the point in having to say something about every issue especially if you (not at you specifically just in general) aren’t immediately impacted by the issue. Like is the 14 yr old white marxist named sarah on twitter really gonna have meaningful insight on anti-asian violence ?

this is part of why i cannot telecommunicate. i dont want to do shit on the internet. i am able bodied so i know that this time has been of such ease for other people. but mentally i just can’t. i don’t have a comment on hand like that and i hvae no desire to engage with ppl that way. i am a super super super solitary person but thats bc it’s MY time so when it’s like all this effort with other people i dont ever want to be alone. it’s the same with the way i approach filmmaking. it isnt a sole thing so i hate it not together. that’s part of how u can get so sucked in and repeat doom scrolling. i was in this webinar last may after [redacted] and this black woman prof said “read with a community and talk” because otherwise she said we are torturing ourselves. you can’t carry that weight all on your own. unfortunately i hate zoom, discord, slack, signal, whatsapp, facetime. you name it this panera has made it evi.. L

you make a really excellent point. i think the young young gen zers are really really just interesting because it’s like this whole new world for them with leftist politics and they just can’t grasp the horrors of the world and the kind of freedom being a leftist can bring. and so many people don’t grow out of it. those people so happen to be the “least productive” in terms of how much time they spend IRL withe these issues. naturally, younger kids are gonna have a harder time. they are not as mobile as well so the internet becomes this place. but then it’s this echo chamber. and many times just things posted without sources. and social media NEEDS that to exist.

i think of the irony of leftist kids on tik tok and while i am happy it’s reaching them it’s just....different. very different. the growth of social media is so good but also so fucking sad, it’s too much! i think the point about not writing everything is major. even i have to do this which is part of the disappearing.y ou need to detach and make sure your head is on straight again. but when you think eveyrone has to be privvy to every thought and you can’t just sit back....which twitter and social media doesn’t encourage. you have to join in. that’s often why when i have something to say it is dense because i don’t feel like repeating it. ever. lmao ust ever. i cant pay attn. social media is a fucking minefield for my brain u can get so lost in it and absorb it but once u start talking you may not be able to stop. 

i think a big part of that is it not being a leisurely thing but sort of just in our lives always. this sounds like a grandpa rant but ykwim. We dont have to see the same thing over and over again. And eventually it gets sincerely diluted or its diluted bc of capitalism or whatever. Or if theyre very young or maybe they don’t have like the greatest way of sharing the knowledge? then it can be butchered. I hope this is making sense...i’m talking beyoond the boring surface-level milquetoast shit. i see really ahistorical stuff on there from leftists (like this thing about NK + africa and it being a beneficial rship as opposed to a um not beneficial one. and it isn’t.  beneficial but this young black girl was talking abt it and noname rtd and i was like it’s just too complex. there’s no good/bad here just bc it’s not america. dont get me started on this.)

but Lol that was kinda off topic but I think what I meant in my last reply about not turning off the voice in my head is about when I consume media, not necessarily when I’m online talking about. Even if I have criticism for something, I’m usually pretty chill when consuming fandom content bc I think being serious online all the time is kinda boring. Like sometimes I’m analyzing theme and shit but really most of the time im memeing.

exactly.........gotta laugh. thats why sometimes im like i cant think lmao. unfrotunately i have been ARGUING with ppl on the internet for rly no reason when  i could have replied to ur very nice fun wholesome message. i love torture. i miss memes.

“ i think the people who get the least enjoyment out of that are those so obsessed with getting upset with anyone thinking outside of their lines as if it equates to them “ EXACTLYYYYY

kekekekeke im glad u got it. it’s like with conservatives throwing around snowflake. now im beginning to question who the real complainers are. 

LMAO exactlyyyy. i posted a screenshot of this writer from twitter saying that exact thing. Like first of all, I’m...an adult? and if you are as well uh? i’m sorry for you but are we 12? But how is it affecting u this viscerally? And if it does why dont u...do...research? pihgofuaipoajghou but honestly everything u said. we’re trained to go into it with nothing. i was only around ur age when i started to get more serious about this stuff but you’re like lightyears ahead of where i was at 21. did i say this but i’m in iww and literally i can tell u in 2016 i did not think 2019 me would be in a union bc i told my friend in a train station that we don’t need unions. i was 23...but the thing is i didnt know what i was talking about. at all. and i knew i didnt know and she knew i didnt know and now i am the clown.

also yes at critical engagement. i had to learn so much through experience and this is tuff that i coudlnt be shielded from. there’s an empathy you kinda have to develop and this understanding that you move through the world as this person who is “nowhere and everywhere; nothing and everything” so i’ve always had to think about things differently just to survive. that’s also what can drag a lot of people towards it like theres so many black kpop fans bc i think a lot of the pain in SK can be mirrored (sort of) through our history. and theres currently a history now but it had to be forged. uh what was my point oh yea however i wouldnt have been able to move further if i didnt have my background to go off of  bc i knew something was off when i started getting into all these things (ill give u a hint) but if i had no prior knowledge and didnt have to think about it then the critical approach is either stale or stupid. 

i had to research but i dont understand how ppl are so bold with little to no research and understanding? thhey just inherently know with also like ZERO experience in what they need experience in. engaging critically means “how i see the world” with dashes of trying to be open adn understanding or whatever. actually that’s another thing like being afraid of criticizing things bc theyre foreign to you so u give it a pass (like we discussed) but it doesnt hAVE TO BEEEE JUST REAAAAAD and then take all the info ur teensy brain and apply it. be a normal human being and dont be fucking rude and racist. thats it! u can complain abt literally anything without being a dick.

as we start with LW and end with LW.....what do we think (i asked this already) omg please share wbl thoughts i THINK i know what ur talking about. well it could be two things; their rship when they came back and the physicality and then pei shou yi. i almost dont even want to use my brain to fucking look at that. i think wbl can get away with more bc of visual~*~*~* reasons (like literally, the look of the show. there’s more space to get lost in the frames. many thai dramas are a lot more literal? this isn’t the right word but it’s very heavily character focused particularly bc of $ i think) though good production also underscores flaws so i am also wrong. but like do u know what i mean? u have to kinda focus on it? or maybe it’s just cos like.....ur so used to it in thai bl idek. i’ve seen tw bl ofc. 

look i swear i will justify this forever bc there are some things we miss right but if u feel like someone’s a bad actor....theyre bad. it’s about tone movement etc etc etc and since most thai bl productions have 0 interest in that....well. they take these newbies and put them in these situations. we dont understand thai but if we see them and we’re like “wow this is really bad” then they’re bad lmao. IDC i will never be like cos idk what theyre saying NO WHY HE LOOK LIKE A ROBOT???????? DOES HE EMOTE? why is he CRYING WITH NO TEARS? and it’s not even a total requisite to cry with tears(i mean for me it is) but it’s just like what is happening on ur face right now young man????????

painful.

the inflection stuff is very valid ooh good point tho but that’s only a part of the piece. plus we get used to the way they communicate. like the ppl from sotus were prtty bad. i dont like that show but thats an ex of ppl liing the actors and the person i thought was better other ppl dont think that? well apparently hes a shitty guy but. um. so when theres decent acting its so glaring.

although i must say even tho i dont care for 2gether anymore and would never like to be reminded about its existence (only bc i just cringe lol) i honestly....didnt think bright was a bad actor? but people keep saying he is and i am much more inclined to believe them than myself. though i am not often dickmatized that could have been it. until he opened his mouth and ruined it and then i stopped paying attn.

although honestly i’m so much more critical than i could be positive. i have ben stumped for the last day about how i wasnt mad at his acting in the show. is it me? is it him? who’s......the wrong one.....(me) 

oh shit they have been denied? i haven’t been paying attn to whats been going on recently. i just got into it on MDL because of snowdrop. sometimes i literally cannot engage bc ill just be like alright well im black so this power button in my head is going off when ppl talk abt that shit. back in the day when kpop jawns were saying some real outta pocket anti black shit (now everyone is slick with it) it’d always be THEY DONT HAVE GOOGLE THEYVE NEVER SEEN A BLACK PERSON but really it’s like no...maybe they are just racist? that’s ok too.

also the past 2 weeks have been um atrocious bc how fucking easily people fell into the pit of white supremacy and started to turn their ire towards black people and making a competition between our groups just like they wanted. it’s not about the women who are dead anymore, who were sex workers, their womanhood, being asian, being poor anymore. it’s about how much black people get attention and why people only pay attn to us. i am not feeling very generous this week for ppl to excuse that hsit.

on a lighter note, ppl say that abt the whole husband and wife thing. i dont know how to explain how angry that shit makes me but maybe it’s because i do not want to think of my body in relation to a fucking penis at all hours of the day. if bls could kindly not do that it would be nice lmao 

yes there are a lot of those. who are only there to gawk lmao. and just idk worship bc of the cult of personality thing bc of how weird and open they have to be as actors. some of the others are people who /think/ theyre really smart (i think im asmart but i also think i am very dumb and i have adhd to prove that MEDICALLY!!!) but are actually not? or their observations arent great? or idk if they are they arent interesting? but i think well..........we have more refined palettes :P

jk also theres just different personalities. you and  i mesh more bc we have a lot of the same beliefs and are coming from the same place. that makes it easier to understand as well. i really try to remember that but some people are really weird so. again just...the perception of certain things even down to acting skills. but i also dont like.......believe this genre can really do anything at all. on one hand i want them to do it right bc it’s a piece of work so they should. be proud of it. cos most things arent advancing us bc representation and culturalism are a lie bla bla. it’s just that when the depictions are negative or not done well it adds to the problem as opposed to the things that are well done are fairly benign and can’t really pull us back (perf example is the black panther film. i woudl definitely not say it was transgressive as a literal work but visually it’s just stunning. and it’s sad that it’s stunning and surprising but still with basically an all black cast of mostly dark people abd like what it means in the zeitgeist yes. it’s also just a good movie. but it’s still imperialist prop and unfortunately and this is fucking pathetic to say it “opened eyes” in other countries where they hate black ppl and ignore their own racialized minorities HENNYWAYSSSS a better ex is moonlight except moonlight isnt mainstream and is indie tho...still thru a funnel of capital bc a24 but who cares bleed the fuckers dry is my motto. my point is moonlight is both a great work and doesnt bring any failures to the table and its existence helps in ways outside of art but they arent the defining things giving us material advancement sooooo i mean it’s complex (this is my conclusion to everything um guys it’s complex) 

er i had one more point in conjunction to above. oh yea so i like dont need all these extra things to make it progressive. like people really want more women in the show and i am honestly like i really dont. i dont want them to actively do this. if they cant do it naturally then let someone else do it. i am not asking for more bc i dont want it from them. when something comes along i embrace it but i do not see why women should be represented when the genre RELIES on patriarchy. there is no complete satisfying existence for the women in these series. i dont want it. i dont ask people to show us~*~* or respect~* like fuck no the people who make it make it and hopefully more will make it in the future but i will not beg bc THEY DONT WANT TO DO IT SO WOULD FORCING IT MAKE IT BETTER? just fucking leave them out entirely. that’s the answer if theyre gonna make nasty female characters then those bitches can geaux. we have other plcaes to be. booked. and. BUSY!

[fan-clan-fun]

Clans of the Wood Ranks

On second thought, I just want the rank system looked over. Also because I’m frustrated at having to write the same thing over and over again (this is attempt four).

Yay! Good news is I figured out a workaround to finally access submissions and comment on them appropriately! Im so excited to read all about this!

Just know a lot of realistic cat behavior is taken into account, such as toms killing foreign kits and cats relying on their ears and nose for perception over their eyes.

When a cat of the Woodland Clans is born, they’re called kits or kittens. For the first month of life, they have minimal interaction outside of the nursery. The second and third months of life are generally spent playing and learning about clan culture through stories. Kittens four months old begin assisting other ranks that largely stay within camp. Upon five or six months old (depends on the maturity and size of the kittens), they can begin to help ranks that may be considered more dangerous. Cats are considered kittens until they are fully accepted within a rank, which usually happens between a year and a year and six months.

Interesting, I see you have done away with the apprentice rank. I feel like there are pros and cons with this. For one there isnt any illusions that kits are minors in every sense of the word, and it would be entirely inappropriate for them to hold certain responsibilities or expectations with relationships. But I can also see older kits being extra hurried to become warriors or the equivalent since being so much older than the younger kits but still being considered kits would be frustrating. I can certainly remember as a teenager  being annoyed when I was considered a child (even if I was still a minor and therefore technically a child).

A handful of cats take up the role of healers. They are to look after the health of cats within the clan and maintain a good supply of medicine in storage. While every cat in the clan gets basic medical training, these cats specialize in it and memorize remedies to every known injury and illness. Mollies also tend to double as midwives.

I like how this is worded, because it is important for the entire clan to have at least basic first aid, but also of course to have cats to specialize in it. I had always seen medicine cats to share like the medical side of birth, while older more experienced queens provided the emotional support, but I suppose these healers could do both. 

A handful of cats stay within camp as guardians. They are to protect camp, fight off predators and aggressors, and escort weaker members to other camps. Every cat does receive battle training, these cats also study strategy and the weak points of predators like wolverines, birds of prey, foxes, dogs, and coyotes. Tom guardians sleep with the rest of the clan and molly guardians sleep in the nursery.

I find it interesting you split up warriors into two groups. I have an image of some gorgeous big buff cats. And also female guardians protecting the nursery! Super cute.

Two or three cats within each clan are messengers. They stay within camp and are sent to camps of other clans when urgent matters need to be relayed. Only swift cats become messengers and must be disciplined in the art of remembering messages.

As nice as this is, I feel like the messengers wouldnt be able to be only messengers, as there isnt a constant need for messages to be carried (unless there is, Im just going off what I have been given). Maybe they are just some of the fastest hunters?

Seers are the one or two cats who are highly attuned to the earth, listening to her whispers and echoes. They can assist with daily life and have mates and bear kits, but must remain open to the earth’s voice. Many cats are born with an innate attunement to the voice and it’s partially hereditary. Commonly, a current seer’s kit, grandkit, or nibling will have this affinity.

I do like me some spiritual cats, I would love to hear more what they see about the earth!

Hunters is everyone else in the clan. They hunt for most of the food and patrol the borders, bringing friendly tidings from other clans. They take up the bulk of the population and have a wide array of personalities and skills.

Ah I see, so the Hunters are basically the warriors of the clan, with the guardians being like the equivalent of -claw cats being extra skilled in fighting

When a cat decides to bear kits, she can decide to move to the nursery at any time and become a mother. Because of the often stressful situations cats can get into, it’s imperative a pregnant mother remain calm lest complications will arise endangering her and her kits. Once they’re born, she will be with them at almost all times during their first month of life. After that, she can leave them for longer periods of time until they’re fully weaned. Once weaned, she can decide to stay with them until they’re all around six months old (when they’re kicked out of the nursery), or can return to her duties, checking up on them periodically.

Elders are the clan’s history and are just as protected as its future. They’re cats normally over a hundred months (eight or nine years) old, spending their days sleeping, bestowing wisdoms to all who ask of them, and gossiping on inter-clan politics and relationships.

The matriarch is the overseer of mothers and kittens. She will usually try to get restless pregnant mothers to calm down for a safer labor and look after the young kittens of nursing mothers when she needs me time. If any orphaned kittens are taken in, she will be their mother. In a way, all kittens born under her care are her kittens, and many young cats call her “Mother” alongside their own mother. She doesn’t even have to be fertile or have her own kits to be the matriarch; if she has a strong maternal instinct and knows a lot on mothers and kits and has the skill to back it up, she can be the matriarch.

I have had a similar role in one of my clans before, and I do really like it. Its something of the idea of a permanent queen, but only one and with a serious amount of authority in the clan.

The keeper is the diplomatic leader, not only in charge of maintaining friendly relations with other clans, but also other feline societies outside of the clans. Their job also includes relaying their diplomatic information to the leader and let members of the clan know when they should probably stop fraternizing with that sexy otherclan cat because tensions are high, so it’d be better if one of them moves to the other’s clan instead. A keeper is likely to have formerly been a hunter.

This is quite clever and makes me wonder about the existence of informants and primitive spy networks. 

The captain is the military leader, in charge of organizing a quick response when the lives of their cats are endangered. They are almost always a former guardian and normally a brilliant strategist. They are also in charge of overseeing the kittens’ battle training.

I appreciate that you have sort of deputies for the two major  ranks in the clan, which is nice because Im getting the vibe that these are fairly large clans, so the extra organization is helpful.

Lastly is the leader, the head of the clan. They are to make decisions for their clan as a whole based on the information gathered from their council of elders, senior clan members, seers, matriarch, keeper, and captain. Should the keeper or captain die, retire, or be exiled, the leader is to choose their replacement, knowing which cats are skilled for the role and who the clan would find a good decision. A leader is the final authority on all decisions, but the seers can authorize their overthrow if the clan is overall displeased with their rule and the seers receive an omen confirming this. A new leader is chosen upon their death, retirement, or exile through a vote of all adult cats between the matriarch, captain, and keeper. Everyone votes for who they are okay with being leader, not for who they prefer, so you can vote for everyone if you like everyone. The one with the highest votes wins. Ties should be non-violently resolved between the tied parties.

I like this because  it doesnt necessarily require votes for every decision, but there is a vote for a leader, which would then lead based on those votes and the advice of their council and others who are most familiar with different aspects of the clan. That said I can just imagine the shenanigans involved when it comes to an election, like do they campaign? What does a campaign look like? Are there any restrictions as to who can be voted for or is it just anyone? Has there been a time where a young and maybe inexperienced  leader was voted for? Its an intriguing possibility.

So yeah, I’d like to know what you think of this unusual setup for my clans. Thanks for taking the time to look it over!

This was lovely to look over! Sorry it took so long! Thanks for sending it in.

[theworldsoul]

Okay so basically... lets talk.

I should've seen this coming. I should've known that after such a long period of happiness, something would give.

I went to pick up my glasses from the dinner table today, because that's where I left them. When I put them on... they wouldnt stay on. I checked and they were missing the two plastic parts that hold the glasses up and still on my nose.

I check the table for them, and I dont find them. Then I ask, like hey, did any of yall touch my glasses? Both the plastic things are missing. My dad IMMEDIATELY assumes that I took them off ON PURPOSE. For some reason. And I tell him no, i didnt touch them, all I remember is picking them up from the table and seeing the plastic bits missing.

Then I spend like an hour telling them no, I didnt break my own glasses, I FOUND them that way. And my dad is like mocking me, going "u always say 'I didnt do it!!!' Like you never do anything huh? I guess you're just perfect." And I'm like... BUT I ACTUALY DIDNT DO IT!!!!???!? and hes like "you never take responsibility for anything, blah blah, you're so fucking stupid, you act like a four year old, stop fucking crying, how dare you ask us if we know what happened, why are you trying to blame us, you obviously did it on purpose and now you're acting all surprised.." and I'm just sitting there. Taking it. Thinking to myself... wow. They automatically assumed the worst in me. And THIS SORT OF THING HAPPENS OFTEN!!! I get blamed for shit I didnt do all the fuckign time.

So I'm just. Crying. Because theres a certain amount of verbal abuse i can take and it's not very much. I'm being interrogated. And its distressing, because I cant PROVE that I didnt do it on.purpose, because i GENUINELY DONT REMEBER WHAT HAPPENED!!! so they just get to assume that i broke my own glasses.

Why would my dad jump to that conclusion so quickly? Simple answer: he literally hates me. He holds back, I know, but hes done this before and he'll do it again, hes shown and said what he REALLY THINKS and he'll say it again and do it again and again and again because his mask is slipping. I dont know what I did to make him hate me but he does. That's just how it is. I can't change that. Man, my parents behave like children.

Anwyays so I'm just very upset, in distress, crying really hard, trying not to say too much so I dont make them angrier but also always telling the truth, which is that I DIDN'T DO IT AND I DONT REMEBER ANYTHING HAPPENEING TO THE GLASSES!!

He asks me, who did it then? I say I dont know but it wasnt me. He said who then, if not you. I said I dont know. He didnt believe me!!!

I hate when I tell the truth and people dont believe it. Like... this is the truth. I have nothing more to offer you. Take what little I give, cos it's my fucking blood.

Anyways in the meantime my mom is checking, looking for the plastic bits. She finds them in my coat pocket.

I am proven innocent. At what cost? Well, now I'm shaking, curled up into a ball, crying, and in actual pain. My brain cant handle so much pain so it transfers it to physical pain. So there I am. A fucking kid. Who's been punished for somehting he didn't do. And theres the proof.

My dad fixed the glasses. Left me there on the couch, still trembling. Gave them to me in a case. Said I gotta be careful. I said thank you. Because, even if I'm upset, I gotta make sure other people dont get upset. He said sorry, but he said it in this huffy way that made it sound reluctant. Then he was like, I said sorry so stop crying.

He wanted a kiss on the cheek and I was gonna give him one because I dont want to seem like a dickhead, he DID apologize... and if you dont accept my dads apologies and move on and pretend that the word "sorry" fixes everything, he gets even more angry and i REALLY dont want to deal with him guilt ripping me over it. So I lean in for a little kiss and... I cant. I cant do it. My face crinkles up all ugly and I start crying hysterically every time I get close. I try a few times but I'm overwhelmed with a feeling of like... oh god. I felt so hurt. Like a scared little rabbit. Oh shit, I was fucking scared. I couldnt do it. It made me feel disgusted.

I said, later I'll do it.

I dont know why he thinks he can hurt me so bad and make me cry, then give some shitty apology and expect me to change my mood entirely and go back to being all happy. That's not how it works. If you hurt someone, they stay hurt. Your shitty little word, "sorry", doesnt make me feel any better and doesnt fix any of the damage.... but I have to pretend like it does because if I dont you get mad, and you say I'm mean for not accepting the apology,,,

Later on, he did come for a kiss again. I was in my room, pretending to be busy so he would ignore me but he didnt. This time, I didnt kiss him but I allowed him to kiss me. I just... I couldnt kiss him. I was holding back tears, and i knew if i tried to kiss him i would start crying all over again and make him upset or angry. So I just sorta... let him kiss me on my forehead. Then I went to the bathroom fast as I could, acting like I had to brush my teeth.

I locked the door, sank to my knees, and cried. Hard.

I just wish that I had a dad who loved me, or who knew how to love me... or who I knew loved me, a dad who knew what he was doing, so I didnt have to debate if he loved me or not in my head.

God. I feel so small. Like I literally feel like a little kid right now. Fucking hell. Looks like tonight I'll be indulging in my delusions, playing pretend.

It's sad that my parents fuck me up, but its sadder that afterwards I dont have anyone to comfort me and help heal me.... only myself and whoever I bring to life in my imagination.

Sometimes when I get overly upset, when I'm pushed to the edge like this, I begin to feel... a lot younger? Like shockingly younger. I'm not even the same dude anymore, I'm a fucking five year old all of a sudden. Which makes the situation even more scary and painful.

Just imagine like, a hurt scared little kid with no one to help him. He's tryna pick himself off the ground and hes telling himself "shhhhh... it'll be okay" that's me. That's literally me and it makes me feel so fucking BAD but its true.

I've been breaking down. Earlier in the day I had trouble on a quiz because I didn't know the definition of a word in a poem and I couldnt answer the question (does character A like character B?) And when I asked they said they couldnt tell me which was bullshit but whatever. Uhm so I got upset. Like, scarily upset. I gave up, wrote that i didnt want to do the question on the paper, guessed at half the answers, crumpled it up and threw it to the ground. Then I just... spaced out for the rest of class because I was STILL upset and fuck them.

At one point I left to go cry in the bathroom, but when i went in there, all the stalls were taken and there was a huge group of guys in there, like maybe ten people in there total, so I ran back out and was like fuck now what. Now I wait. I waited and nobody came out. I double checked and they were sitll there and I ran out again. I dashed to another bathroom down the hall hoping it was empty. I was blasting metal in my ears to try and drown out the FEELINGS, I hate feeling things. Got into a stall, slammed the door, started CRYING, sobbing, talking to myself, all of this with metal music blaring out of my headphones. I composed myself. When I went out of the stall I checked my eyeliner and it was... well, you could TELL I cried. I didnt bother with it tho, i just ran out of there.

Ugh and when I got back I kept doing the stim that usually evolves into literally hitting myself, so that was. Bad. At least this time I refrained from beating the shit outta my own left arm.

God.. I hope everyone who hurts me, everyone who ever fucking hurt me, feels GUILTY as all hell. I hope whatever being made me FEEL all these emotions so hard so strong so fast, ROTS. because nobody deserves to feel so intensely upset that they resort to the worst ways of coping. No one.

I'm just glad I didnt relapse. That's a positive.

[shadow-assassin-blix]

It’s a Grey Area

CHAPTER 6

A/N: Getting further into last episode. Not gonna lie... I saw it like 2x... It wasn’t great either times. So. Trying to get through it. If some things are off between this and the next couple of chapters, it’s cause I’m going off my memory and basic summaries on the internet. It’s not going to end once we get through the plot of Ep 9 though. There’s still more to explore. So. I said, I was changing some things, but not everything. I am not a medical expert, when I talk about the brain scans, I’m going off what I remember of what certain brain disorders look like. Other than that: “talk” ‘thoughts’  “Force Talk” 

Gif is from @captain-flint of whom i wouldnt remember this entire scene without.

The next few weeks were hectic. There came word of a spy for the First Order, and they gave damn good information. However, no one knew who it was. They passed on their information through a network of rebel sympathizers.

That’s where Poe currently was, gathering the new intel. Blix was in the middle of training with Ben and Rey. Ben didn’t need too much training, but his skills were being refined. He was learning to use the Force for good. Rey was learning just how powerful she truly was. However, there were some… concentration issues, as Blix soon discovered.

Rey came forward after running the obstacle course, with BB-8 directly behind her looking… rough.

“Oh. No. Uhoh. Um. Maybe I can fix you before Poe comes back,” Blix fretted as she kneeled down and looked him over.

BB angrily beeped at her, saying a tree was dropped on him. “I know honey. I know. Uhh. Oh boy. Poe’s going to kill me.” He beeped. “True. He’ll kill Rey then me.”

There was commotion behind them near the flight deck, and as they turned their attention to it, they saw the Falcon… on fire.

Rey stared at it and Poe and Finn in disbelief as they made their way over to them.

“It’s on fire. The.. the whole thing is on fire,” She began looking at Poe with mild horror. “Han’s ship.”

“What did you do to the droid?” Poe asked staring down at BB with an expression mixed between concern and anger.

“What did you to the Falcon?” Rey threw back, glancing at the 2 annoyed.

“Falcon’s in a lot better shape than he is,” Poe argued gesturing toward BB.

“BB-8’s not on fire-“ Rey began before she was cut off.

“What’s left of him isn’t on fire!” Poe nearly shouted his own look of horror growing as he continued to examine the state of BB.

Finn and Blix glanced at each other; Finn shrugged not wanting to get involved, and Blix was trying to not laugh.

Their arguing continued, and when they thought it was over, BB-8 then felt the need to tell Poe what had happened. That stirred the arguing back up before Poe stormed off in a huff.

“BB. Was that really necessary honey?” Blix lightly admonished him. “C’mon. Let’s go get you fixed up and then go find your dad. Hopefully by then he’ll have settled.”

An hour later after a quick stop in the repair shop, BB-8 was bright and shiny again. “Alright. Let’s go find Poe yeah?”

They took off toward his room, and as they stepped in, they see Poe tiredly running a hand through his curls, exhaustion radiating from him.

BB rushed forward to show himself off. Poe quietly told him he looked great before turning his gaze toward Blix. He beckoned her over with a wave of his hand, and she strolled over to him, a look of concern on her face.

“What’s up honey? What happened?” She quietly asked as she stood between his knees.

“It.. we had to light speed skip.. to get outta there. Ya know… I’ve gone on many missions… but this is one of the rare few times… that I was scared that I wasn’t going to come back… It’s like… the closer we get to finally finishing this war… the more I worry. About… everything,” He quietly confessed as he leaned to rest his head against her stomach.

She gently brushed her fingers through his hair, trying to relax him. “That’s not all that strange honey. It just means, that you are finally seeing the end, and the closer you get to it, the scarier it is. Besides, you’re not allowed to die. Not until we’ve married, had many kids and grow old with each other,” She informed him, pressing a kiss to his unruly curls.

“Is that so? Well. I’ll make sure to not disappoint you,” Poe sadly promised.

“You could never disappoint me. I got to work the Medbay for a couple hours. I’ll come get you for dinner,” She whispered to him before urging him to lay down and rest.

He laid down with a nod and muttered something that sounded like he understood.

Blix made her way to Medbay and began working there. About 30 minutes before her shift was to end, she got a visit from someone she didn’t expect.

“General Leia. What brings you here?” Blix asked concerned.

“I have been having some headaches. Wondered if you could help me figure out what’s wrong?” Leia answered with a heavy sigh.

Blix nodded quickly and led her over to one of the beds, so she could sit or lay down.

“How long have you’ve been experiencing the headaches? Any confusion, lightheadedness, trouble remembering stuff?” She began as she grabbed a device to scan her head.

“Sometime after Crait and yes to all of the above,” She answered.

“You mean… sometime after you were tossed into space and nearly died? That long?” Blix asked alarmed.

Leia nodded once. Blix completed her scans and made her way over to computers to print them out. A few minutes later, she was examining them with a deep frown. She took a deep breath before mentally reaching out to Luke.

“Luke. Get Ben. The both of you need to come to Medbay. Now.”

A few minutes later they both walked in and began to ask her what was going on when they realized Leia was lying on the bed.

Blix led them over to her, and said, “I’m sorry, but… they need to know.”

She sets the scans onto the nearby board, grabbing a seat to begin explaining.

“This is your brain. See the large dark spot? That is inactivity. In most cases that’s not fairly abnormal, but when its almost the entire brain? There’s a problem. From… from the looks of it… your brain is dying. I don’t know if… its because of lack of oxygen from the attack, if you picked up something while exposed to space,” She began to explain.

“What… what do you mean? Can-can it be reversed?” Luke asked stuttering slightly.

“If we had known sooner? Maybe? At this point, it’s not a matter of if but when. I’m so sorry. I-… I don’t know of anything I can do except make you comfortable,” She hesitantly informed.

Ben turned and walked out at that. Luke began to follow after him, but Blix stopped him before he got out the door.

“Luke. Go after him. Do me a favor…. Talk to him like he’s your nephew, not your student. He doesn’t need Master Skywalker. He needs Uncle Luke,” Blix requested with a small frown.

Luke nodded and looked back over to his sister sadly, before exiting.

“I apologize for bringing them in without warning you, but they needed to hear that as well. What… What do you need me to do?” Blix appeased turning back to Leia.

“Honestly. They did need to know. You saved me the trouble of having to tell them later. Can you have Commander Dameron come in please?” Leia asked with a sad smile.

“Of course. Then I’ll give you something for the pain, something light, to at least take away the headache,” She promised before going over to her communicator.

She quickly got ahold of Poe and asked him to come see her. A minute later he walked in, looking slightly disheveled.

“What’s up baby?” He rasped rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

She nodded her head over to Leia, and he quickly made his way over to her. They talked quietly for a few minutes before Leia called Blix over.

“Dr. I wish for you to make a notice and note it my medical charts. I am currently unfit for duty, and as such has appointed Poe Dameron to acting General,” She commanded.

“Yes Ma’am. Lemme get you that medicine real quick too,” Blix noted, quickly giving her some medicine before doing as she requested.

Soon enough the entire base knew that the General Leia was unwell, and that Poe had taken her place. They both escorted Leia back to her room, before returning to Poe’s room. They both plopped down onto his bed with heavy hearts.

“You’re sure there’s… there’s nothing that can be done?” He sniffled.

“Jedi have the ability to heal, but… when the damage is that extreme… It would be giving up a life for a life,” Blix croaked.

She sees out of the corner of her eye, him nodding. His hand slowly reached out and held her own, fingers laced. They both slowly fell back onto the bed, staring at the ceiling.

“I… I don’t know how to be a general. I’m barely good at being a commander. What… what the hell am I supposed to do?” Poe questioned softly, shaking his head.

“Leia trusts you. She believes in you. You know the Resistance inside and out. I can’t think of anyone better suited to take over. You can do this baby. I know it,” She encouraged turning on her side to look at him.

“I’m going to make us some sandwiches, and then we should head to bed. We got a busy day tomorrow,” Blix announced as she sat up, and made her way over to the kitchen.

Tomorrow they would be heading to Pasaana, to figure out what happened to the Sith Wayfinder and the man who had it last. They ate dinner silently, and when they went to bed, Poe laid down, resting his head on her chest. They soon feel asleep with sadness in their hearts.

The next day, Poe, Rey, Finn, Chewie, C-3PO, BB-8 and herself were on their way to Pasaana. Ben stayed behind to watch over Leia with Luke.

As they landed and began making their way, following Luke’s steps, they realized that a festival was occurring. 3PO excitedly informed them it was a celebration of their ancestors and that it only occurred every 42 years. As they moved through the crowd, Blix looked over at Poe with a smile.

“What? What’s that look for?” Poe asked trying to squash his annoyance.

“Anyone ever tell you that you look very sexy with a scarf?” She flirted as she moved forward, her grin growing at the dumbfounded look that appeared on his face.

She came up to Rey as they were conversing with a local. She heard them talking about last names, and before Rey could say anything, Blix bounded forward.

“She’s a Kenobi. Adopted. But a Kenobi. C’mon lil sis, we got work to do,” Blix answered before dragging her away with a laugh.

As they made their way back over to the guys, another native walked up to her, and began to speak to her.

3PO began to translate, “I’m sorry to interrupt, but is that man over there your significant other.” And she motioned at Poe.

“Yes. He’s mine,” She answered with a smile.

She then draped a crown of flowers on her head, and then gave her a necklace to give to Poe.

“Do these items have some sort of significance? Are they important?” She asked curiously as she gently held the necklace with both hands.

3PO informed her, “That it was to signify your union. In some ways, it is considered a marriage in their culture, if General Poe accepts the necklace.”

She silently mouthed an “Oh.”

She looked over at Poe and then back at the native and said, “Wish me luck.”

Blix made her way over to him, and Poe stared at her curiously, his eyes glancing up at the flower crown.

“So. Apparently… if you accept me giving this necklace to you, we are considered hitched in this culture. May I?” She offered holding the necklace up.

He smiled, shaking his head slightly, but leaned down to allow her to put it on him. While he was leaned down, he asked, “Do you really think I look sexy with this scarf?”

She gave him a kiss in response and a wink. He tensed as he looked over her shoulder. “We got stormtroopers.”

A few minutes of panicked running and they were safely hidden with Lando Calrissian. Rey grabbed her attention really quick and asked hesitantly, “Did… did you mean what you… what you said earlier?”

“That you’re a Kenobi? Yeah. Damn straight you are. Listen. If or when, we find out your lineage, it won’t change how everyone in this caravan or within the Rebellion sees you. You’ll still be my kid sister. May as well make it official,” She assured holding her hand.

Rey smiled at her, her eyes watering up.

“Don’t you dare cry. If you cry, I’ll cry, and that’s not a good look for either of us,” Blix fretted jokingly.

Rey laughed at that and as they pulled to a stop, they followed Lando’s instruction over where they last tracked Ochi’s presence.

They explored the area, walking onto a strange patch of blackened sand. They looked every which way trying to figure out what had happened, when suddenly they began to sink. Poe grabbed onto her, as Finn tried shouting something at Rey.

When they finally dropped, they were in a small tunnel. Blix pulled out her lightsaber and turned it on, prompting Rey to do the same. As they moved forward, they looked around cautiously. They soon ran into a large serpentine creature, who allowed them to move past, when Rey reached down to heal it.

When he had moved, they discovered a corpse lying there. Ochi. Amongst his remains was a dagger that had a strange language inscribed on it.

Blix gently picked it up and stared at it concentrating. “It’s the Sith language. It’s… old… Difficult to translate.”

“But can you translate it?” Poe asked looking at the dagger over her shoulder.

“It would take time. Time we don’t have. 3PO? You got any ideas?” She admitted before turning her attention to the droid.

“Why, yes, I can translate it, Doctor. However, it is against my programming to translate it,” 3PO stated.

“So, the one time we need you to speak, you can’t?” Poe and Blix asked at the same time.

“Cool. Great. So… who knows how to override said programming?” Blix asked the group.

Poe winces, his face scrunching up as he thought. “I do. But. It’s risky.”

“Risky? How?” Finn asked exasperated.

“I’ll explain later, let’s get out of here for now,” Poe dismissed moving forward, following the path the serpent took.

Blix, Rey, and Finn all squinted at him in suspicion and looked at each other, then back at him.

“That was sus, right?” Blix asked in a whisper.

“Extremely,” Finn replied squinting his eyes at Poe’s back as they began to follow him. “Blix. Ask him why he bein’ weird?”

“What? Why me?” She blinked in slight confusion.

“He’s your boyfriend.” Came two voices in response.

Blix sighed with a laugh and ran up to walk alongside Poe.

“So…Why you bein so secretive, babe?” She asked, after a moment, not looking at him.

“We have to go to Kimiji,” He quietly muttered.

“….the planet… where you were a spice…runner? The one where your partner stabbed you? That Kimiji?” She clarified her voice slowly becoming more and more panicked.

He quickly grabbed her hand with his, and shushed her gently, “Hey. Don’t panic. It’ll be fine. I promise.”

“I wish I had your undying hope, but past encounters throw doubt,” She angrily whispered back, making her way forward, toward the end of the tunnel, shaking her head.

“Are you… are you seriously mad at me?” He asked incredulous, running up to catch her.

“Yes. You want us to go to the one place, where you could potentially be KILLED. Just for existing. And what? I’m supposed to be okay with that? No. We can… we can find another way, another… something. I don’t know,” She ranted panic beginning to consume her.

“Honey. Honey. We will be fine. You just said, we don’t have the time. You want to spend however long trying to find someone else to reprogram a droid, or do you want to try and translate it yourself?” Poe reasoned, trying to get her to focus on him.

Blix breathed heavily through her nose, looking away, not thrilled with this plan at all.

“Let’s just… get back to the Falcon. Regroup there,” She said finally walking in its direction.

As they were walking, Blix slowly came to a halt. She felt a presence coming toward them, a dark one.

As everyone began stepping up onto the rock formation, to get into the Falcon, Blix turned her attention toward the energy she was feeling. Rey quietly walked over to her and tensed as she realized what was going on. In the distance they could see a TIE-fighter rushing toward them.

“Rey. Run. Now!” Blix commanded shoving her toward the Falcon.

She turned her lightsaber back on and prepared herself. She took a deep breath and twirled the lightsaber.

As the fighter approached, she tensed her legs, preparing to jump. As soon as it was close enough, she leapt into the air, flipping over the fighter and running her lightsaber down its left wing. She landed in a crouch as the fighter crashed a few feet away.

From the wreckage, a figure dressed in black, wearing a hood and a face mask appeared. As the figure came to face her, she could see a pair of eyes that glowed like amber.

“Darth Sidious didn’t mention another Force wielder. Who are you?” came a raspy, feminine voice.

“I’m complicated,” Blix said sarcastically, throwing her hand out to use Force push the Sith away.

The push threw her back a couple of steps, but otherwise didn’t deter her. The Sith began to walk toward her, when Rey intervened, slashing at her with her own saber.

Blix tried to intervene, but the Sith was now focused on Rey, taunting her; trying to provoke her for some reason. They kept moving away, so she couldn’t hear what was being said, she just knew that all of sudden, Rey screamed in anger, lightning shooting from her hands.

Blix’s eyes widen in surprise, she could vaguely hear Poe screaming about more enemies coming in. Rey looked at her with such terror at what she just did. Especially when bolt was directed at another enemy ship that may have had Chewie on it.

Blix looked at the Sith who stood quite smugly, staring at Rey. While she was distracted in her gloating, Blix decided to give her a taste of her own medicine. She felt the Force surge around her, and she directed as much energy as she could to both of her hands, throwing them out at her.

The Force blasted her off her feet and tossing her several feet away.

“REY! C’MON!” Blix yelled out.

Rey rushed over toward her, grasping Blix’s outreached hand, the both of them rushing to the Falcon

As they raced onboard, Poe taking off as soon as they had jumped onto the ramp. It took mere seconds for them to reach space and make the jump to hyperspace. The both of them collapsed against the wall, breathing heavy.

Blix looked at Rey and pulled her into her arms. Rey shook, soft sobs coursing through her. She could hear her thoughts running amok, one thought that stood out clearly: ‘I killed Chewie.’

“Honey. We don’t know that. There were two transporters. It’s quite possible he was on the other one, okay? If so, we will save him, alright?” Blix whispered to her, as Rey held onto her tightly.

“As for the other thing… even if… you are his grandchild… that doesn’t change how everyone here sees you. That doesn’t change our love for you. You’re still my adopted kid sister, got it? In my eyes, you are a Kenobi,” Blix affirmed turning Rey’s head to look her in the eyes.

Rey tearfully nodded her head, before burying it back into Blix’s chest, her tears continuing, but not as harshly. They sat like that until Rey calmed down, and slowly fell asleep in her arms. Blix pressed some kisses to her hair affectionately. Blix slowly gathered her in her arms, picking her up, and carrying her over to one of the beds. She laid Rey down, making sure she was comfortable before grabbing blanket to cover her.

Blix made her way to the cockpit where Poe and Finn sat.

“Finn. Can you… can you go watch over Rey? I don’t want her to be alone right now,” Blix quietly requested.

Finn nodded his head, standing up. “How… how is she doing?” He asked as he got next to her, pausing.

“Not good. She just now fell asleep. I don’t know how long she’ll sleep, but I don’t want her to wake up alone.,” She began. “She’s feeling lost. Don’t..uh. Don’t. bring up what happened unless she does first. She’s still processing it, okay?”

Finn mumbled he understood before continuing out to her.

Blix all but collapsed into the co-driver’s seat.

“If you didn’t join the Navy, or the Rebellion… what would you be doing?” Blix wondered, staring at the ceiling.

“Ooh. Tough question. Mechanic. Or smuggler. Think I could’ve given Han a run for his money,” Poe answered thinking on it for a second. “You?”

“Pod Racer. Politics are too boring. Maybe even train kids on it,” She noted with a tired sigh.

“When this war is finally over… I’m taking you to my home in Naboo, and we are not leaving my bed for a week,” She announced as she straightened up.

“Deal. But you have to also come home with me to Yavin and meet my dad. Need for him to meet the woman who’s going to become his daughter in law,” He countered leaning over to press a kiss to her lips.

“Sounds good,” She replied leaning forward, resting her elbows on her thighs, looking at her hands.

“My mom would’ve liked you,” She whispered staring at the ring he got her on their first date.

“My mom would’ve loved you. Would’ve thought it was hilarious that you kept rejecting me for a year. She always said, I would wind up with someone who would keep me on my toes,” Poe admired, his hand gently stroking her cheek.

“How long until we reach Kimiji?” She wondered looking at the controls. “And uhh… can the controls go on auto pilot?”

Poe flicked a couple of switched with a small smile. “It’ll be a couple of hours. Wanna go lay down for a bit?”

She nodded her head, and they both stood up, walking toward the nearby bed. Poe laid down first on his back and waved her over once he was situated. She grabbed a blanket, holding it over her shoulders like a cape, before crawling on top of him. She gently maneuvered the blanket to cover the both of them, before sinking onto his chest.

The gentle lull of his heartbeat coaxed her to sleep, as Poe watched over her for a few minutes before going to sleep as well.

C-3PO and BB-8 were charging after the hectic morning. Rey had at some point woke up, and persuaded Finn to curl up next to her. The moment his arm wrapped around her; she was out again.

“I want to tell you, that I love you,” Finn whispered into her hair. “Maybe one day, I’ll be brave enough to tell you when your awake.”

He eventually fell asleep as well.

The occupants of the Falcon were momentarily at peace. It had been a rough couple of hours, and they all knew, that it was probably going to get worse. But for now, they were going to take refuge in the peace. Once they dropped out of hyperspace, things would be hectic again. But the end was near. They were on their way to finally defeating the Empire, they just needed to continue fighting.

ELSEWHERE

Darth Sidious was angry.

"What do you mean "there was another Jedi" Maeve?" He seethed.

"Exactly that, my lord. She was powerful. She was able to toss me like I weighed nothing. She's protective of your granddaughter though. Maybe we can use her to convince Rey to join us?" Darth Maeve suggested.

"Hm. We shall see. I need to know what drives her. If she can be turned easily," Darth Sidious contemplated cackling. "If so, we can turn the tides on this ridiculous Rebellion, and the Dark side shall rule all. Continue with our plans for now."

"Yes, my lord," Maeve responded disconnecting her projection.

[drkcnry67]

oops sorry wrong boy toy

title: oops sorry wrong boy toy... (drabble)

pairing: lucifer!sam x reader

rating: pg-13

fluff sq: in vino veritas

h&H sq: lucifer!sam

share the love: fever dream

tags: illusions, vivid dreams, dreams that feel and look so real that you believe they are but get awoken by something else in reality that shakes you out of the dream. other than that nothing really else maybe the warning of some potion usage

created for @thisismysecrethappyplace​ @spnfluffbingo​ @heavenandhellbingo​

share the love list    fluff list    h&H list

this was reality wasnt it, you were under the impression that nothing had gone wrong, when infact everything was wrong. this seemed so real it was uncanny. 

you, your boyfriend Sam and his brother Dean had gone to stop Lucifer from rising, to stop the apocalypse from happening. in fact that is exactly what you all thought had happened. 

this day happened to be the 2 month anniversary of you all stopping the apocalypse, the boys were out on a hunt you on the other hand were soaking in a nice hot bath.

till something or someone pushed you down and ran some more scaldng hot water. it was a few hours later when the boys returned to find water all over the floor and you passed out unconcious and salding hot in the water. 

Sam was freaking out, Dean was trying to clean everything up. but both of them looked round there was no signs of forced entry, no signs of hex bags or anything. then they saw that you were making something. they knew better than to touch it. 

--------------------------

meanwhile, you were unaware of what was happening on the outside, you were focused on what you were witnessing on the inside. 

Sam: babe, why dont we go find something fun to do... i mean you know like a normal couple...

YN: sam when have we ever been normal... we hunt monsters for christ sake. besides i think we can have lots of fun right here. besides i feel like we just had date night...

Sam: are you having de ja vu. cause if you are then whats the issue...

You had to second guess yourself, something seemed a little off, Sam didnt seem like himself. he kept speaking about normal, normal wasnt what either of you were accustomed too. 

also sam never ever called you babe, like never... he always called you angel... he never ever called you babe. something was seriously wrong thats when you watched the scenery shift around you and Sam, things got really really hot. 

you started sweating feeling like you were gonna pass out which you did waking up still sweting a few moments later except now hanging above a pit of boiling hot lava. 

Sam or what looked like sam standing above you..

YN: sam what are you doing?

lucifer!sam: nope wrong boy guess again?

you took no time to think on this everything suddenly made sense.

YN: lucifer...

lucifer!sam: in the flesh, i cannot tell you how amazing it is to be out of that cage. there is a certain sense of accomplishment i feel right now, i had hoped you wouldnt figure it out for a while longer but something inside me wanted to have a bit of fun. so hows this for fun.

YN: this is a dream.. this has to be a dream...

--------------------

on the outside, Dean, sam and Cas were all hovering over your still scalding hot to the touch body. Sam was "frantic".

But Dean started to notice Sam mumbling to himself. He pulled Cas outside with him to "help get something out of the impala".

Cas: what's wrong Dean we should be finding out what happened to YN.

Dean: that's not sammy

Cas: what are you talking about?

Dean: that's not my brother in there he keeps mumbling to himself the Sam I know wouldn't doesn't do that.

Cas: I have an idea to wake YN. I need to be alone in the room when I do this cause it's not gonna be pretty. Something is causing her body to go into fever shock. That's why she is too hot to touch. The fever needs to break which means I need to go in and pull her from whatever is holding her in. you just need to keep “sam” distracted and out of the room while i save YN. 

Dean: we will go get some alcohol.

Cas and dean walk back inside the hotel room, “sam” is kneeling beside your still form as Cas and Dean approach, Cas goes to place a hand over your forehead, using his angelic grace to scan your mind. 

Cas: i know how to save Yn but i need to be alone for a few moments. like no one else can be in the room. its not gonna be an easy thing to watch nor will you guys be able to withstand watching this, humans can go blind from seeing this process. by the time you guys come back inside YN should be awake.

“sam” got up and looked at your body. none of the 3 boys except maybe castiel knowing what was occuring inside your head. 

-------------

speaking of which, you are still suspended over a boiling hot pit of lava, lucifer!sam is ranting about his grand plan to start the apocalypse, to deal with the world itself once the apocalypse is in completion. 

Lucifer!sam: are you still listening?

YN: yes unfortunately... but i thought we were in my head i thought we would be able to do what i wanted. 

Lucifer!sam: that unfortunately is not true, we are not gonna get into too much detail. now pop quiz beginning with what did you and the 3 idiots use to open the door to the cage?

YN: the rings of the 4 horsemen.

Lucifer!sam: very good. now who else is supposed to be apart of the apocalypse. 

YN: michael but he wants dean for his vessal. dean is not keen on that idea at all. now i have a question for you: how did you get my boyfriend to say yes to you using his body?

lucifer!sam: easy i threatened to take away the one thing that he loves the most, you... i threatened you... i was really surprised cause i knew you were pregnant the second i saw you, that is why i threatened you, thats why he said yes. 

you suddenly went into a state of shock... you were completely clueless. wait did he just say Pregnant?????? you were not sure you trusted your voice or anything. 

YN: what did you say? did you just say im...

Lucifer!sam: pregnant yes... Sam is right here inside my brain in a cage, he is screaming for you to hear him... i might be willing to let  him speak to you one last time, but after that im taking him and we are going to bring on the apocalypse and no one can stop us. 

YN: what's that light?

-------------

On the outside Dean and "Sam" went out to grab some disposable cups and alcohol. While Cas stayed behind to wake you up.

Whatever Cas was doing seemed to be working. He took one look at your current situation and could only reach in and pull you out as fast as possible.

Once he did that you were back in your own body. You sat straight up and woke up. You hugged Cas.

Cas: are you okay?

YN: I'm fine kind of. Umm where are the guys?

Cas: getting some alcohol.

You had sat up a bit before continuing to speak.

YN: can you tell me if you hear anything irragular in my belly... Like anything at all.

Cas places one hand on your belly, light begins to flow from it, you look at your belly then at Cas then back at your belly

Cas: is it Sam's?

Yn: yes but I don't want to tell him yet. That's not Sam... Not our Sam anyway. i have the perfect thing to use to find the truth but we all 4 need to be here for it. 

Cas: they should be back soon, anything i can do to help in the mean time?

you and cas go to where your workstation is set up and you get to work finishing the potion that you were working on. you also get into a silk gown and house coat while cas mixes something for you. 

Cas: the boys are just approaching the door. we will see if this works. what was your purpose for making this in the first place?

YN: to find the truth if we ever needed too. but i am sure thats not our sam. i am also sure that if im correct and thats not our sam then what sam had told me to do will need to be done. in the event that something happens to Sam in anyway shape or form, Dean is to become more than just a best friend to me. in that event i am to live my life hunting and killing every disgusting monster out there. but with a baby on the way i dont know if i can do that. 

cas was about to reply when the boys walked in. both of them entered the room fully before they saw you. beforre they could speak you ushered for them to sit down...

YN: before you both speak yes im awake yes im fine. but there is something i want my lovely boyfriend to test. i have made something that in the future i am hoping will prove useful in interrogating. will you test it honey bun?

Sam: of course babe!

that set something off in cas and dean... for they both knew that sam never ever ever called you babe. but you brought the small vile to “sam” who drank it. after a few seconds you decided to test if it was working.

YN: im now gonna ask a series of questions but only Sam is allowed to answer. 

both dean and cas were in agreement.

YN: lets begin. what is the numericle date of our anniversary?

Sam: 04.19.2006

YN: how did we meet? 

Sam: we saved you from a vampire den after that we were hooked with eachother. 

YN: you said something to me the day we stopped the apocalypse what did you say?

Sam: you are the most amazing woman i have ever known and i now know for sure that i want to spend the rest of my life with you however long it may be. 

you now had to ask one final question and you knew that this one would have to be envoked by the incantation that goes with the potion. 

YN: what is your name? in vino veritas!

the second you said that he kinda twitched and thats when he spoke. 

Lucifer!sam: lucifer the ruler of hell the son of god that has been locked up in a cage for the last however long cause some of my people in hell decided i wasnt fit to rule the dark dominions. 

dean held his hand towards you while keeping a hand held trained on his brother’s form. well at least what looked like his brother but was not his brother. 

Dean: but how i thought Sammy wasnt gonna say yes to you, you dick bag. plus how did you get out of the cage... there wasnt anything to release you. 

Lucifer!sam: actually you did, when you used those rings it opened an exit from the cage. you were mis informed on what you did and what were actually doing. that was meant to set me free... so when sam and i started arguing he agreed only cause i threatened to do harm to YN and her baby. oh well time to go start the apocalypse.

that was what set the moood in the room, your shock was real and yet something else no one expected was how protective Dean and cas suddenly became of you. this lasted several moments. 

lucifer or sam or whoever that was had disappeared. he was laughing when he did. that became your new life. 

Dean: i guess we all have a new mission or 2. one of them is to save sammy whatever it takes. the other is to protect YN and my brothers kid. 

once you hit 3 months along you were only allowed to go on salt & burns as well as assist the occassional possession and haunting. 

~but that is another story for another time~

[microfeelings]

You know I just realized how rude of me it was to just post the fantasy AU and never elaborate further on, so I'll do my best to write down the most important things from this universe (no timeline because lmao how does a timeline even work)

For Arin it would be the fact that he grew up on a tribe of half orcs, (his mother is a druid orc, and takes care of the horses that help them move around, his father is an elven bard, and because of this he looks less orcish and more femenine than other half-orcs his age, it bothers him at first but he learns to live with it) and when he is of age decides to leave to experience the world on his own and find a meaning to being alive, (he feels like he needs to find a purpose) trains as a barbarian, but leaves before finishing his training and starts taking adventures for money, (freelance adventurer babyy) at this time he cuts off his long hair and buffs out(is that the word??) his tusks (cause he believes hes not that good for his orc part), thats when he meets Ross, (who is trying to kill him but this doesnt bother the man) they travel together for a couple of years and then Ross leaves him for some pirates in the ocean (Or something like that?? Unclear undecided lmao). Then Dan comes into the equation, not much later Suzy, then Ross (who is kind of an on and off character traveling with them), and Brian (same with Ross, but hes justified because he has a family)

The story with Dan is more complicated (and angstier oh yeah). I still havent worked on his whole childhood part, but on his 150 and beyond he was kind of a free spirit, traveling as a bard, with literally anyone who might wanna join, meeting lots of people and sleeping around, he was more of a lover and the works he took were more on the entartaining side than the slaying, he lived without much care up until he was 200 when he met a tiefling lady whom he fell in love with and was decided he wanted to marry, the problem is that they had different views on life (since she was ready to settle down, meanwhile Dan was more of a "keep seeing the world"), even tho he was ready to leave it for her she told him to keep traveling and that she was going to be waiting for him when he was done. At this time (look you really must have bad luck Dan) he fell ill and into a coma of 50 years, when he woke up he found himself in a world where a lot of things had changed, and the woman he loved was dead. Devastated and with nowhere to go he just decided to keep working and travelling, so he joined a band of mercenaries where he met Brian, altho kind of violent (on Brian's side), they hit it off inmediatly and became very close, enough so that Brian presented him to his family, still Dan felt that he needed to keep travelling to fill the void he felt in his heart (and also because Brian was a human, and he couldnt bare the thought of losing him as well, and it was easier to just avoid it by leaving even if it made him feel like a coward). Then he met Arin, Suzy and Ross (I feel like their adventures all together deserve a different post)

Suzy is also kind of a work in progress (I still havent completely decided what drove her to leave her forest so the story might change from post to post). She lived in the forest her whole life (childhood undecided) and when she was around 200 met Arin when he was a teen, they became friends and Arin basically talked his whole life with her, eventually Arin left and Suzy kept living in the forest until a village started growing just outside it and started being rude and mindless on how they treated her forest, so she decided to talk to the townsfolk, they ignored her so she resolved into using fear tactics and that worked for a while, but now her forest was known as a dangerous place where no smart person went, aka a perfect place for mercenaries and other shady groups. She went to the town asking for help but people were either afraid or mad at her (Suzy is not having a nice day) but thankfully Arin and Dan were passing through town when she went to the folk so they decided to help her (sweet reunion between Arin and Suzy <3 the man has bad memory but he still remembered his childhood best friend, also she looks the exact same so... kinda hard to miss, Suzy has thoughts about the beard but this post is not about that). Still not decided why she left the forest (by all acounts it doesnt make sense, but I wanted her traveling with the boys) maybe she convinces the townsfolk to treat the forest better or something cheesy like that lmao.

From this point on the stories become less and less thought out

Ross as a tiefling was always an outcast, and you know what they say, treat someone like a monster and they will become one, he became a warlock at an early age (undecided but he was young) to a demon who would ask him all sorts of favors, one of them being killing Arin: the one favor Ross failed to do, because after trying to murder the man they both got into a life threatening sittuation where Arin saved his life and Ross thought "oh fuck, hes nice". They began travelling together and tho Ross tried to kill Arin a couple more times, tho he could never comit and ended up leaving him so the demon wouldnt find him (or something, how has the demon not killed Ross yet? Loophole! What loophole? I dont know, I havent thought about it yet). He left to travel the seas for a while and met a bunch of people but eventually came back to land and back to traveling with Arin because no one was as cool as him (I guess?) Gets along with Suzy and Brian cause they're scary, and likes to mess with Dan cause its really easy to do (and also because hes jealous of his relationship with Arin lmao) but they get along when its necessary.

Brian's whole life before joining the mercenary is a whole mystery, nobody knows anything about the man, the only person who knows his backstory is Dan, but even he is unsure because he always changes the story (one of them is the true one, which one Danny boy?). All everyone knows it that after Dan left the mercenary group, Brian wanted to retire as well, but the leader wouldnt let him since he was one of the best in their group, and threatened to get his wife and child if he left, so he took one last job to kill a certain Half-orc (everyone wants Arin death, why? I dont know) and after that went as well as expected (lots of knives, Dan trying to convince both Arin and Brian not to kill each other), the group decided to help Brian kill his own mercenary group. He sometimes joins the group on some adventures (Brian's house is one of their many 'safe houses') still enjoys to sometimes stab Dan and Arin, but knows better not to mess with a fucking druid and warlock

Also if you wanna write or draw related to this au, I will love you forever, you can tag it as fantasy grumps, or tag me (but honestly I dont trust tumblr, so you can just message me about it)

[wheredidhiseyebrowsgo]

Hello lovely people! Could you rec some fics where the Pack fucks Up and stiles is just so done so he leaves and the Pack regrets it and stiles makes them work and earn his forgiveness? Please it would be greatly appreciated and I love you all!

AND

Anonymous said:hey you know the "stiles leaves and comes back badass" trope? so do you have any fics to recommend?? it can be Sterek, Steter, Steterek or no ship at all

AND

Anonymous said:I have an obsession with Gerald tortures Stiles fics where Stiles leaves and comes back stronger! Can you recomment me some more, pls? ^-^

AND

roseymoonlit said:Do y’all know of any fics where stiles and Peter leave beacon hills together and fall in love or stiles comes back after leaving the pack and fall in love?

Soooo many Stiles is Kicked Out of the Pack! - Anastasia

On Pack, On Family, On Love by AlexTheShipper

(1/1 I 1,342 I General I Sterek)

Stiles doesn't feel he's truly part of the pack, and Jackson doesn't help the problem. Derek has something to say on the matter.

pack of two by ScarSacrifices

(1/1 I 1,735 I Not Rated I Steter)

“You’ll be alright. No one can hurt you now,” Peter breathed out clutched the sobbing boy to his chest. Peter took a shaky breath and smoothed his hand down the boy’s hair making low shushing sounds as he did so. “Just listen to my heartbeat sweetheart, I’m here. You’re not alone,” he clutched him tighter, “not anymore.”

Theif by Lady_Poison_Heart

(1/? I 1,934 I General I No Pairing)

After months of neglect stiles knew his pack bonds were going to break soon, and his father wouldnt miss him. So he runs away and finds himself in New York and turns to pick pocketing as a way to feed himself. One run in with a pair of avengers later he finds himself being stalked, and with tension brewing between stiles and the local wolf pack, things arn't going to end well for stiles.

The Murder Weapon by twothumbsandnostakeincanon (somanyofthekids)

(1/1 I 2,183 I Teen I Stetopher)

Is the murder weapon guilty?

Black Out Days by Maifire

(5/? I 4,343 I Not Rated I Sterek)

He made his way towards the kitchen, twiddling a light bulb in between his fingers and pausing in the doorway. This was so stupid. The invites had gone out weeks ago, and since then Scott hadn’t given him the time of day. Stiles knew it had to do with the pack, but it still hurt. It wasn’t easy being the only human in a group of werewolves, but honestly what was he expecting? After Scott had been bitten, nothing was the same.

Someone who understands by SnazzyJazzyH

(1/1 I 5,004 I Teen I No Pairing)

“What are you doing here Stiles?” Jackson questioned, more confused than annoyed.

“I-I didn’t know where else to go,” Stiles shuffled looking down at his feet.

Jackson had never seen Stiles this beaten down. It was like everything that life could have possibly thrown at him had been. Something had to have happened that was unthinkable to turn this unbreakable boy into a shell standing before Jackson.

“Get in here,” Jackson opened the door wider, welcoming Stiles in.

The Lost and the Found by Levi_Winchester

(2/? I 5,604 I General I Sterek I MCD)

Stiles tried to turn their opinions of him around, but it didn't matter. It was time for him to embark on a journey on his own, a journey that could change the way everyone saw him for good. Could Stiles balance the Scales of Good and Evil? Or is he destined to fall into darkness?

--or--Stiles gets hurt really bad and Derek decides to bench him until further notice, but Stiles leaves town after meeting some relatives who can teach him how to master his magic. Chaos ensues.

Outrage by Mittymitty

(2/? I 7,334 I Teen I Sterek)

“Stiles—“ his father tried but was ignored as Stiles continued to rant.

“You ignore me all fucking year! Told me I was a waste of space! Told me it was my fault that mom died! Now, Mr. AA is so much better than me because I’m “moody!?” Fuck you! I’m angry! Why do you hate me, why do you fucking—“ Stiles suddenly stopped and began to truly hyperventilate and between his harsh breaths and sobs John could hear him say “why do you hate me?” over and over and the ex-sheriff’s heart broke right then and there and he began to cry to.

“B-breathe, son. It’s going to be ok. I love you so much and I am so sorry I treated you that way. I am so sorry. I swear spending some time in New York is going to do you some good.”

*********Stiles is an angry, over stressed, depressed and moody teenager and his father believes that sending him to New York with his half-brother will help him relax and get a new point of view.

Who needs them anyway by Midnightbluejay

(8/? I 9,838 I General I Sterek)

After the whole thing with Gerard, saving Jackson and him finally becoming a werewolf but still part kanima, and Allison and Scott patching things up, Stiles thought his life was returning to normal sorta. Then when he was gonna go for a pack meeting about some supernatural creature, but instead it was about him.

Blue Moon by Merlin_Wolfgang_Trades_Hale

(4/? I 10,221 I Not Rated I Stiles/Others)

After the events of the Nogistune, the Sheriff thinks Stiles needs a break. The pack's being distant and he's being left with too much time on his hands by himself, so he doesn't fight too hard when his dad sends him away. Where is he going? Well, an old buddy of his owes him a favor and he's calling it in. Who's that buddy?

Charlie Swan, Sheriff of Forks, Washington.

You can't protect me by Lansfics7

(4/? I 11,333 I Teen I Stydia)

Stiles is kicked out of the pack. Turns out it's a false alarm when everyone tries convince him to rejoin, claiming they did it to protect him. When he leaves to learn more about his spark and vows to leave Beacon Hills to figure things out, that's when he's needed most. Stiles has to chose between staying with his comfortable life, or helping his old friends.

Find Who You Are by mizaki

(16/? I 14,176 I Not Rated I Steter)

Stiles and Scott have a nasty break, Scott blames Stiles. Stiles needs some space, time. Stiles feels broken down, he wants to be stronger. Stiles wants to find out what he can do to help his family and friends.

Comes and Goes by toyoto031999

(12/? I 16,739 I Not Rated I Sterek I Rape)

It takes a lot for people to break. And Stiles is at his breaking point.

Meet a Small Death by authoresswithoutwords

(2/2 I 16,991 I Not Rated I Steter)

So, fighting monsters again and again, and being in a pack full of werewolves, is not exactly the recipe for a healthy human being to grow old. It actually only was a matter of time before Stiles fell. It may have been surprising, but no surprise.What was a surpise is that Stiles woke up again.

It seems wasted now by DaaroMoltor

(6/? I 20,082 I Teen I Sterek)

It's been months. Months of lonely days and lonelier nights. And Stiles can't understand what he did wrong.

A Healing Silence by HelloWhyTheFuckAmIHere

(28/28 I 36,334 I Not Rated I Sterek)

Stiles is slowly pushed out of the pack following his fight with Scott about Donovan's death. After receiving a phone number from an old friend, Stiles is surprised to find that it belongs to the one person who may be able to bring him back to himself.

Lost on you by devilscut

(7/7 I 51,322 I Mature I Sterek)

A deadly encounter with an Alpha changes Stiles' life forever - kicked out and betrayed by his best friend and brother, Scott McCall, he leaves Beacon Hills, but much to his surprise not alone. Ten years down the track, living a life he never dreamed possible, a chance meeting brings back memories of that night - the good and bad mixed with a whole lotta WTF that even now still has him scratching his head as to what happened.

Those Are The Days That Bind Us by s_a_m

(5/5 I 52,171 I Mature i Sterek)

His father wasn’t stupid. He was an officer of the law, trained to look for patterns. He confronted Stiles about werewolves and they shouted and Stiles tried to explain but his father was so, so, so mad, more mad than Stiles had ever seen him, ever in all his life and then his father looked at him and said,

“It’s like you’re not my son anymore.”

And Stiles broke.

To Walk the Long Road Home by AnAceAJokerAndAQueen

(31/? I 54,369 I Mature I Scallison)

Stiles goes to the Pack for an ordinary Pack meet, but what he finds out is not what he expected.

The Weight of the World by Belladdictedd

(25/? I 128,513 I Not Rated I Steve Rogers/Stiles)

Stiles had never known more to his life than the pack. Thus, when the pack decided he's too much of a collateral damage, he runs. While running from his past, he stumbled his way into S.H.I.E.L.D and somehow managed to squirm his way into the hearts of The Avengers, especially a certain Captain's.

When he had finally amount to a life worth living, the world just had to crash and burn. He and The Avengers are humanity's last hope--a heavy burden to bear with hard decisions to make, all while dealing with his old pack. Sometimes, you just can't save everyone; Stiles learned that the hard way.

Alpha, Mage, Pack by Foxfire2018

(25/? I 297,331 I Explicit I Sterek I Rape)

Set at the end of Season 2. Stiles was kidnapped and tortured for hours. Yet no one came for him. Hurt and cast out of the pack by people he thought cared for him, what is he to do? He finds himself accompanied by someone he never expected and someone he is eternally grateful for.Derek feels betrayed and foolish for what he allowed to happen. Out of anger and hurt he forced a valuable member he really started to care for out of his pack.With the pack scattered and people hurt, what will come of them? Will they bond together again in time for the next big bad?