#acting like im the worst person in the world lmao

[todayisafridaynight]

would it be okay if u told me why u like aoki😭/gen😭😭😭😭BEEN TRYNA LIKE HIM FOR SO LONG I JUST CANTT but i love ur art so much so i still consume it otherwise lol

i liked tohru adachi in high school and tbh i think that alone is enough of an explanation for why i ended up liking aoki

[bobzora]

there are some bits of what they did with the rooftop scene that i like and others where i was like :/ this isn't as good as it could be. and this is an important scene lmao

[ddlcbrainrot]

I love how your mind works so much everything you say is canon now bc I said so.

Since you've done Monisuri, Moniyuri and Natsuri thoughts, do you plan on doing any other ships? Sayonika would be cool/nf

my mind is a cat, a red panda and a raccoon in a trench coat pretending to be human, or so i’ve been told so thank you

if people ask me to, then sure!

sayonika makes my brain go brrrrr and i stop thinking proper thoughts bc i love them so much every time i see them i just go hehehe so this is going to take a while bear with me

m…monika and sayori,… kithes…

ok but srsly, i think the reason i like sayonika so much is bc its a very versatile ship. You want cute best friends to lovers? Side stories are right there. You want angst fest, hurt no comfort with no happy ending? Base game is right there

If we are talking about base game, a lot of questions pop up. Like how did they even get together? (probably some time after the ending, maybe since both have gone through the epiphany they bond over that) Can they even be in a functioning relationship after the events of ddlc? (a functioning one? no lol, but maybe after a lot of work they make something special) Does Sayori ever forgive Monika? (surprisingly, yes after a long time. I actually can see her "forgiving" Monika right away, only for her to build up resentment over time and snap and so she realises that she needs to actually feel and process her feelings of anger and betrayal before she can forgive Monika) Does Monika forgive herself and lets herself be loved? (THERE IS NO WAY LMAO). So yeah, the main headcanon i have for them in base game is that Monika never fully forgives herself, no matter how much Sayori insists she forgives her. Because i love suffering.

Anyway lets step away from the sad sad world of base game and get to the happy stuff of side stories :D

So yeah, bffs that slowly realise they like eachother

I think ive mentioned this before, but they give off first sapphic crush/relationship vibes. if you know you know

Both had a hard time accepting they like each other bc both were like "shes too good for me..." (dumbasses)

Acting like a couple before even being together, im talking hand holding (how lewd...), cuddling, compliments, you name it

And when Natsuki would be like "you guys act so gay for eachother" they'd be like nnNnNoOoOo We're just gals being pals (dumbasses p2)

Who would confess? Probably Sayori. But only in a last resort situation. She'd be expecting to be rejected too. Surprise surprise being the kindest person alive gets people to like you who would have thought

PDA couple.

Sayori's physical affection and Monika's words of affection? You can't be around them without getting diabetes

Im not kidding when i say they would be the worst couple to be around. But like in a sweet way

Sayori steals Monika's clothes

They paint their nails the eye colour of the other person, so like Sayori paints them green and Monika blue

When one is having a bad day, the other gives little notes filled with cheezy puns throughout the school day to cheer them up, and they talk about whats bothering them after (sayori started this and it has become kind of a tradition)

I can keep going but if I do this will end up longer than the declaration of independence

[chnt-confessions]

i think i'm the only person in the entire fandom that has any genuine empathy for elijah, and i'm stuck thinking there's something deeply wrong with me for that. i feel like quite a lot of people split black on him (and joshua) and then split white on jedidiah, and sydney. the ONLY two options are to dehumanize or objectify him. no hate to jedidiah-likers, but jedidiah is not a victim. he doesn't act entirely the way he does because of trauma, he acts that way because he implicitly looks down on sydney. what kind of man jeopardizes the entire world for a man that he let gravely sick in the first place, only to gaslight and neglect him?? all this because of mommy and daddy issues that, like, 70% of the population has?? i had to headcanon extra issues and trauma for him to just to keep myself sane. i don't mean to invalidate his trauma, but he has lived such a privileged life and can easily go to therapy and yet. i'm sorry but it's bojack-horseman levels of "how tf do you expect me to feel bad for you? lmao." like, i need him to get better because people will likely die if he gets any worse, but other than i couldn't care less about this guy. i'm way more sympathetic to sydney because he's trying his best but he seems to have an empathy deficiency of some kind (it's not his fault but it is painfully obvious sometimes and i wish i could fix him but i have to fix myself first because i also deal with this); i also relate to the "feeling unlovable" aspect of things.

we have only seen elijah at his worst. the elephant man is elijah "mental breakdown, 2 years and counting psychotic episode" core; did everyone just assume he was born like that? and if he was, that would also make me sad tbh. he had a similar upbringing to jedidiah and yet he does not show it at all and i'm wondering what tf was different. he also generally sucks at being a villain sometimes (i.e. telling sydney his weakness, letting sydney go back to jedidiah, reacting way better than most people would when sydney told him that he couldn't get the journals). when jedidiah says "sydney, you're always fine." vs when elijah says it; jedidiah said it to gaslight sydney and because he feels bitter about the fact he's working so hard to keep sydney alive and can't use it to manipulate him (i'm joking but i'm also not joking), while elijah was just being a little acolyte and also he's symbolically the earth, so when he says the earth will catch him when he falls, he is fr. idk what snapped in him with the murder-suicide thing but considering that he is the earth, and unfortunately due to sydney's weird little mind and jedidiah's horribleness, the earth is, like, post-apocalyptic now so it probably has something to do with that (idk why he switched from stabbing to burning alive; probably cuz of the theatrics/j). anyway, he does suck and he needs to go back to russia and never come back for everyone's good, but i really do think he would be better than jedidiah could ever be (yes, even with therapy; i'm literally speaking facts/hj) if "everyday [wasn't] a living fucking nightmare." and i'm constantly like "._." whenever i remember that jedidiah is the reason "everyday is a living fucking nightmare." also i really wanna see someone do elijah/the elephant man analysis/interpretation that doesn't reek of disgust and hatred (or lust; do whatever you want, but i'm judging you rn), just for variety tbh. here is his official playlist: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/389N5sUULTXFC63I3CSn7c?si=756dacaa18cd491c some of the songs in here are, like, "???" and i want to see someone's else's take on them (even elijah haters tbh) sorry for the essay, that's all i wanted to say :)

also im so happy that i can say this anonymously, thank you chnt-confessions for doing god's work, i love you platonically <3

(ABOUT THE LAST PART) no need to apologize and I'm really glad to make you happy!!

[sunshowersanddandelionwine]

YOU ASKED AND YOU SHALL RECIEVE

(this is going to be Long so prepare yourself XD)

Murderbot Diaries:

I have no idea if you've ever read the murderbot diaries books by martha wells (which, if you havent and have any sort of interest in science fiction PLEASE READ THEM THEYRE SO FUN) but the character of secunit is SO ghost coded its not even funny

for those unaware: secunit is short for security unit, which in the world of murderbot are partially artificial and partially human constructs created as cheap labor. secunits are considered property rather than people, despite being totally sentient. they are not, however, autonomous. secunits have a thing called a "governor module" that will essentially fry their brains if they do anything to go against the company/their client's orders. secunits can be repaired and reissued to new clients, so the whole thing is just super fucked up

anyway, back to the au. ghost, like murderbot, manages to disable his governor module somehow and is able to act completely autonomously. however, he's been so Fucked Up by you know... being a secunit, that he doesnt exactly know how to be autonomous or his own person, so he just. Doesnt. and he continues to protect clients as they come up, doing his best to hide the fact that hes able to act freely.

enter the 141 survey crew, who are his latest group of clients that hes been tasked with protecting. its a much smaller group than he's used to, only seven members compared to dozens and dozens, but that means he's the only secunit sent along which is for the better tbh. the members of the survey include laswell, price, gaz, soap, farah, alex, and roach.

for once in ghost's life, he's not treated as a looming threat or an inanimate object, but an actual person with thoughts and opinions of his own. and he Does Not Like This At All.

at least, not at first. but he finds his walls start getting eroded by these idiotic humans and their idiotic tendencies to make the worst possible choices. (especially a certain engineer with a taste for explosive materials, but thats neither here nor their)

of course, something has to go wrong, as it always does. there are two other survey teams on the planet - kortac and shadow company. and according to a message sent by one of them (not sure which yet lmao), something is hunting them.

and soon, the 141 is going to be hunted to

im trying not to directly copy the plot of all systems red (the first murderbot novella) so yeah!

Muzzled:

this is going under the read more because its getting too long lmao

cw for mild mouth trauma and general blood/violence

SO this one is fun.

ghost is still part of the 141, alongside gaz and price. he's a werewolf (obviously XD) and somehow, a mark gets the drop on him while he's shifted into his full wolf form

he wakes up in a tiny iron cage in a dank basement, with a burning pain across his snout, jaw, and neck. his captors managed to muzzle and collar him with pure silver, keeping him as weak and docile as possible. hes still fucking dangerous as shit, but this way they can at least handle him.

his captors, a group of hunter/poachers, have a shitton of other supernaturals trapped in the basement with him. they come down to gloat, and with them is a strange man. he doesnt talk smack like the others. he moreso tries to blend into the shadows and disappear. but ghost cant tear his eyes away from the bright blue eyes lurking in the darkness. or the thick iron band locked around his throat.

the man is clearly inhuman, but he cant - or wont - speak. hes tasked with taking care of the "feral wolf" (ghost) for the duration of his stay. from the precise wording of the orders, ghost knows exactly what the man in.

fair folk. something powerful, too, given the iron bands around his wrists as well.

days of ghost plotting his escape pass, and ghost and the fae start to come to some sort of wordless alliance. they take care of each other as best they can from their relative cages, finding solace in each other that they cant find anywhere else.

something happens later down the line, maybe gaz and price are getting to close to the operations, but the poachers decide that its time to cut their losses and skip town. they order the fae to "take care of the wolf". ghost's heart drops, because he knows that a fae cant disobey an order given by the keeper of their true name.

but in the poachers' haste to get things wrapped up, they made a mistake. they left the order unclear and open ended.

and the fair folk always take notice of loopholes.

the fae unlocks ghost's cage and releases him from the silver. ghost, rather than just go up and slaughter the entire organization himself, decides to be extra and lets loose every single other creature trapped down there with him. they all go and massacre the ring, but ghost doesnt. because the fae collapsed on the floor of the basement, dropping his glamour in the process. and the sight is grisly.

he's skin and bones, barely any muscle or fat on him at all. the iron ring around his neck and the iron bands around his wrists hang loose, showing the thick rings of scar tissue on pale skin. but the worst is his mouth.

coarse, rough thread seals his mouth shut, the wounds red and angry and irritated. locking the fae's strongest weapon away, keeping him firmly under the whims of his captors. he may have had the freedom of movement that ghost lacked, but he was as much a prisoner here as the rest.

ghost somehow manages to get them all out safe, and he finally gets the fae's name. his true name. not the silly little nickname he gave him in his head while watching him clean the basement day in and day out (soap).

for the first time in months, simon and johnny speak to one another.

there you go, hope you enjoyed! @bl-nk-sp-ce

[borom1r]

1-25 choose violence ask game ❤️

ALL OF THEM?????? you’re so real for this ty snfnsnbfns. doing LotR bc of course I am

1. the character everyone gets wrong

PIPPIN I HATE TO SAY IT BUT PIPPIN. all those incorrect quote polls that have been posted where pippin keeps fucking winning YALL REALIZE HES AN ACTUAL CHARACTER RIGHT?? with like depth?? and bonds?? and a personality. yall realize that right?????? right??? ik we all love 2 joke but he would not say half of those things

2. a compelling argument for why your fave would never top or bottom

ok I personally enjoy both for Boromir BUT if he IS topping. he is a service top. I will die on this hill

3. screenshot or description of the worst take you've seen on tumblr

I block ppl for these takes so no screenshots but everyone who thinks Boromir is a villain. if you think Boromir is a villain I will key your car.

4. what was the last straw that made you finally block that annoying person?

there is one singular straw and it is bad Boromir takes in the Boromir tag

5. worst discord server and why

I don’t join fandom discord servers bc I love myself too much for that 💗

6. which ship fans are the most annoying?

ummm idk? most of my lotr mutuals have different ships from me and it’s all chill. but tbf I’m very selective abt who I interact with now lmao.

7. what character did you begin to hate not because of canon but because how how the fandom acts about them?

no one yet thank fuck.

8. common fandom opinion that everyone is wrong about

Aragorn/Arwen isn’t actually romantic sorry I think it’s fucked up actually. the vibes are off there for SURE

9. worst part of canon

FARAMIR’S “yeah I’m gonna take you from your home and tame you. haha wdym. you don’t need a blade during times of peace.” SHTICK WITH ÉOWYN IN THE BOOKS. UNPACK YOUR BIASES YOU LITTLE FREAK!!!!!!!!

10. worst part of fanon

HM. I will stick with “people who horrifically misinterpret Boromir’s character”

11. number of fandom-related words you've filtered

at the moment I only have rings of power blocked but I’ve had that blocked since it came out bc if I look at the armor in that show I will commit crimes.

12. the unpopular character that you actually like and why more people should like them

MOVIE!FARAMIR MY SPECIALEST LITTLE GUY OOOOOOOOOO MOVIE!FARAMIR I LOVE YOUUUUUUUUUU he’s so handsome and special and I love him and you WILL all look at him and clap and cheer. it makes me insane that his temptation by the ring mirror’s Boromir’s and he’s actually fucking normal abt the Rohirrim AND I just love him very much :)

13. worst blorboficiation

ummm idk… maybe Frodo

14. that one thing you see in fics all the time

HMMM exposing myself but I basically only read Aragorn/Boromir fics lmao + since we’re Choosing Violence the most annoying thing is Boromir just being A Brute. like damn I love the surface level reading of the text maybe try engaging with it above a 1st grade analysis next time 💗

15. that one thing you see in fanart all the time

hmmmmm idk cuz again I don’t interact w a lot of fanartists so there’s nothing like. annoying. all th ✨motifs✨ I do see r very fun + I like them :)

16. you can't understand why so many people like this thing (characterization, trope, headcanon, etc)

ummm for Serious, portraying Pippin as Stupid. for Silly, uhhhh Trans Faramir is so real to me I completely forgot cis people both 1) exist in the real world and 2) probably interpret Fara as cis too. i don’t get it :(

17. there should be more of this type of fic/art

trans Faramir 🩵💗🤍

18. it's absolutely criminal that the fandom has been sleeping on...

HM idk. trans Faramir again. also bc I love it, utilizing Old Norse culture for the Rohirrim teehee

19. you're mad/ashamed/horrified you actually kind of like...

OK IM MAD THAT FINNISH BOROMIR IS JUST ME. THATS ME. THATS AN OUTFIT I WEAR REGULARLY MINUS THE LONG HAIR. I DRESS LIKE THAT TO BUY GROCERIES. i love him for that tho. I’m also mad that MtG Boromir’s stupid pointy muttonchops have grown on me. freak behavior, keeping his facial hair trimmed in those stupid little points

20. part of canon you found tedious or boring

I’m fighting for my life reading the histories rn 😑 I find them very dry for the most part

21. part of canon you think is overhyped

idk? I think there is an appropriate level of hype. but idk if Rings of Power had a lot of hype. if it did, then Rings of Power is my answer

22. your favorite part of canon that everyone else ignores

idk if it’s IGNORED necessarily but the fact that Boromir carries a Rohirric shield in the films does actually genuinely make me insane 💞 I love that sm

23. ship you've unwillingly come around to

UNWILLINGLY?????? idk?? ummmm I think it’s all fine for the most part I’m just A Fag so I don’t write het ships. it’s like a moral thing. Éowyn/Faramir gets a pass conceptually bc they’re T4T to me tho

24. topic that brings up the most rancid discourse

idkkkkkkk I don’t engage w discourse bc I want this fandom to remain pleasanttttt

25. common fandom complaint that you're sick of hearing

again idk.. I block on sight if I see a Bad Take + then I erase it from my memory so I can continue to live in a beautiful blissful world where I. forgor abt cis people ☺️

[senshis-tenshi]

IM GOING TO SPAM HERE BUT IF I MAY WOULD U SHARE YOUR HCS FOR HOW PF AND NUX MEET

MA‘AM I‘M KISSING YOU ON THE MOUTH OMG

Okay so PF is super obsessed with medical stuff… she loves reading about it, yes, but seeing it firsthand is even better. Since there’s no YouTube or TikTok to watch surgery videos on, she sneaks out to see the sick and dying War Boys whenever she gets the chance. At first it’s like… she gets some kind of sick kick out of it? Not from their suffering but like, from the fact that she gets to see that thing ™️. She’s the type to sit down next to someone with a dislocated shoulder and ask him about all the details LMAO

But yeah she figures out that it’s probably smarter to use the knowledge she gathered over the years to help them instead of just watching. They’re grateful when she pops their knee back in, gets their broken arm back together and into a makeshift cast, gets that glass shard out of their eye… to her it’s fascinating, and to them, it’s a help. And yeah, that’s how she meets Nux. He’s here a lot. Pretty much constantly anemic, easily bruised, gets fevers regularly, weak immune system. She knows what it means all too well.

He’s surprised because everyone treats him like a lost cause, because he’s a half life, a waste of resources, but she’s like you know what? Half life or not, you’re valuable. You’re a valuable asset and as long as you’re alive you can still do great things, even if you’re sick.

He never saw her before. There were rumors of Immortan Joe having a healthy daughter, but refusing to acknowledge her as anything but future breeding stock that he could sell or trade for more power. She introduced herself as Damna to him, and said she helps out every once in a while. Puts what she knows to use.

He only finds out who she really is after the wives escape, and she follows them SIMPLY because she’s so pissed they left her behind 😭 She’s angry that her father acts like she’s a future wife, and the wives act like she’s one of his children. She’s like the worst of both worlds and doesn’t have a place anywhere. Then Nux puts two and two together and he’s like :ooo YOURE THE IMMORTAN’S DAUGHTER and she. Yeah 😒 HDJSK

He now views her as this kind of holy death angel who’s been so kind to him and making his way to Valhalla easier and smoother and she’s just like??? Bro I’m still just a person can you chillax. Can you stop kissing my feet. Sir. Hello. Stop bowing to me so much all your blood is going to your head. Oh great your dumb anemic ass passed out smh *picks him up and wraps him in a blanket and gives him a forehead kissie*

[ravenkinnie]

No matter where Jinx (personal) storyline goes in s2 I want them to keep the message of her being both a victim and a culprit of the violence the current system stands for. It’s so interesting to me how Jinx existence symbolizes this while Jinx herself doesn’t operate on ideology or morality at all. She acts fully on emotions.

Of course all the characters are products of the world they live in but they all have some sort of Ideals and an idea of what the world around them is. Jinx doesn’t really. Or at least that’s not what matters to her or her actions.

Im not saying they can’t or shouldn’t explore Jinx becoming more aware of her own worldview but I quite enjoy seeing a character so fully motivated on her inner world and her desires.

Jinx doesn’t fit in anywhere in her current world because she is both a victim and a culprit for all sides of the conflict.

For anyone to completely accept Jinx they have to reject not only the rules of the world but also their own ideals.

Silco was about to do that and that is what he tells Jinx just before dying.

Whether that is good or bad is a whole other question.

I literally love the theme of a character being both the victim and the victimiser and jinx is such a great version of it because she's not even a good victim. like for example, yes, her relationship with silco is toxic and she's not at fault for it because she was a child in a care of an adult so she had inherently less power than he would in this dynamic but still, she grew into it, she leaned into it, she related to it and it's not a tie she would want to sever. she did work for him and she enjoyed that work, she enjoyed the violence, its not something he ever inflicted on her but silcos influence and his power over her and the fact that he is the root of her trauma in the first place are undeniable

her trauma turned her into the worst version of herself and while arcane treats her mental state with compassion and nuance, it's still obvious she is just not a good person at her core, she isn't a caring or sympathetic victim. I looove the theme of how this violence is further perpetuated by undercity on undercity and I don't like when the fandom fully forgets about it (it mostly happens with silco because jinx would have to do good instead of pure evil for that to apply to her but yk)

I think her inner world and impulsive selfish desires will always take precedent but there's definitely a room for her to grow her own goals that aren't necessarily tied to her relationships - and that goal can be just fucking bitches up, I'm not saying it has to be an overarching ideal that she operates on from this point forward but it's interesting to think of jinx on her own since she's been so codependent with vi and silco up to this point

also people who love jinx have to reject not only their ideals, really they have to reject themselves because to love unconditionally like that and be someone's entire support system does mean to forego a part of yourself (like a lot of parents, especially moms, discover lmao*) and jinx doesn't love people in a way that allows them to be their own people. she cares, in a way, but in a selfish self absorbed way and I love her for how destructive and difficult and poisonous her love is

*silco is milf coded agenda when. he's also dilf coded because he's insane like all dads are tho. he's a woman who can have it all

[wegonbealright-09]

ur very much a hater lmao 😭. and last anon was right, yoongi was the one who said the bb hot 100 thing, jk has neverrr said anything about his goals on that chart, even as a group, only celebrated their success after the fact, so not sure where you're getting this "sudden obsession" from. as a matter of fact, jimin has talked more ab his goals for bb than him. and he should ! theres nothing wrong with explicitly stating your goals especially when you make fire ass music that deserves to be number one, its called manifestation and putting their wants into the world. your issue is that you see the 10% of the member's lives that they choose to show us and come up with these narratives to feed your own delusions about how you feel about them and their personalities. bitter ab yoongi going on tour like it has anything to do with his enlistment ? HUH 😭😭? 2+2= fish in your head too ig. and you saying joon being bitter bc he wants to be acknowledged for the work he does... ??? see im typing this out and its just not making sense. he's always done that before they even got instagram, AS HE SHOULD because it's HIS work and if he wants to make a post ab writing some lyrics then he can and you saying he's bitter for doing that is extremely odd. as for tae, be fucking fr lol. u sound like the type to get mad if a member didnt make a happy birthday post like they dont have each others literal phone numbers and addresses. and tae did support jimin's solo songs multiple times on weverse, but you ignore that bc it doesnt fit your narrative. get out your mind, take a walk outside, and come to the realization that you dont know these people and making up these negative narratives ab their personalities is oddball behaviour to say the least. and lastly, joon and suga have nothing to be bitter about. theyre part of the biggest group in the world. their albums are critically acclaimed. this second chapter of bts has brought out the worst in people like you because you constantly try to make it a competition between the members, and theyre not letting you do that bc they actually support each other and congratulate each other in their accomplishments, whether they post it online for fans to see or not. at the end of the day bts trumps all, which is what all 7 members have said and have been saying🤷🏾‍♀️and people like you are just gonna have to suck it up or unstan bc the negativity and d! ck measuring contests are not it and goes against anything bts have ever said about each other.

Anon I should let you write my history essays you know, :⁠-⁠)

Me a hater? Excuse me?

You anon you are the type that goes to posts about jimin stans and qrt " jimin would hate y'all, he's die for his members and put you on fire" every time they trust to address the injustice but okay.

Jk has talked about the billboard he's not even manifesting he knows it it'll lend on his lap because scooter has made sure if that. That man doesn't even shit about his upcoming album he doesn't know shit he's just going to accept it and move on like he did with seven. And lmfao. I'm not obsessed with jk, I've had this blog for such a long time but i didn't post anything I only followed people and interacted in post you can click to see which posts I've liked and who do I follow. But anon I got tired of everyone here acting ignorant like they don't see what's going on, like " yhea we've got some jikook crumbs let's not address the payola and fraud that is going on". I'm not obsessed far from it, this dude lately just pops up in feed and annoys the fuvk out of me, something he's never did before. And also jk is chart obsessed lately even some of his fans can see you don't fine by me.

Jimin never talked about his BB goals like what do you mean. That man wanted to release face as a free album on sound cloud because he felt like this is his story and he wants fans, and everyone to be able to hear it and relate and see the world from his point of view, so you tell me anon you tell me. Jimin didn't even think that like crazy was going to number on he was impressed with how well smf pt2 did because guess what he didn't expect that as well. So idk what you tryna say anon.

I agree I don't know what's going on with their lives. I didn't say I'm telling the truth here or some like that my posts are based on my opinions and observations. If me not agreeing with what most of y'all think is being called delusional girl I've been delulu i still think jimin is going to release and album with Bruno Mars as a featured artist or him and Bruno are going to pay homage to MJ someday so yhea I am delulu.

Birthdays are no big deals I myself I don't celebrate my own birthday and just like jimin I give zero fucks about my birthday. Okay anon I admit I was wrong it's okay for ones best friend to not congratulate him on social media platforms when he had just did the impossible and made history and decides to do so privately only when it comes to them, it's totally okay.

I'm not even going to talk about yoongi and Joon because this I've said what I've said. I'm not backtracking you can go throw yourself off a cliff idc

I thought you said everyone's entitled to their own opinion but now that I'm expressing mine I must touch some grass and take a walk. How about you snap back to reality huh? As I've said if when you see BTS you see rainbows sunshine's and clouds that's okay but I don't and I'm not tryna force my opinions on people I'm just saying what I think and feel and I might be wrong idc it's just how I feel.

Anon I'm not laughing I swear. You know I'm not a hater I've said that in the second chapter there's been a shift in the group's energy and I'm standing on that. Your last sentences wooo anon you're the one to say what I'm doing goes against what bts have said to each other. So is what's jk is going with the fraud and payola but I don't see you ranting and calling him out, he's going against everything that BTS has ever believed in, the legacy they've created, the image they've built. For what? A few records that some western artist is going to break again with more payola than him. If you look as scooters old interviews about Gangnam Style and all. Jk is just a puppet to his show, he hates jimin more than he's ever did because he has a break through in the western market as soloist without his help, he sis what he could do with Gangnam even after all that promotion on his own with little to no promotion

But hey this is just my opinion I don't want to sound" obsessed" so this is the last time I'm talking about jk.

Anon neither you know what's going on behind closed doors but if you like to act ignorant fine by me my opinion and yours are different anyway thank you for visiting my blog and having the nerve to tell me to touch some grass on my own blog smh

[felteverywhere]

here’s a plot wishlist of things i’m thinking about lately but would prefer to plot than write opens for. i’d also prefer to plot on discord but it’s not entirely necessary since obviously i’ll be writing on this account. some of them are kind of variations of the same thing but i think it makes it clear what kind of stuff i really love lmao. if you like this i’ll im you, but even if you like a lot of them it would be amazing if you could whittle it down to 2-3 tops. reblogging and messaging people when i’m online in the morning!

hot & heavy by lucy dacus inspired — the angst of your first love, homoerotic teenage best friend angst coming back to haunt you, bitterness and nostalgia mingling in the worst way, you hate her and you still love her after all this time. optional: period piece (70s, 80s, 90s, early 00s), a dead friend dragging them back to town, one of them is still closeted. 

fear street inspired — small towns where dark, horrible things have happened and keep happening but not everyone can afford to clear out, young people taking on a legacy of evil in the name of love, the truth of the past being unearthed, the loss along the way. optional: period piece (90s), we can run with something similar to fear street in terms of why the killers exist or come up with our own thing. 

college sleuths — a body found in a classroom or maybe an old unsolved mystery, a small campus cradled by woods and hidden from the world, a desperate need to uncover what everyone else wants to cover up, a righteousness or maybe an obligation to the dead, an eventual game of cat and mouse as they creep closer to the truth. optional: literally everything i listed can be tweaked, i just love the idea of a pair of people (even reluctantly) solving a murder. 

scooby doo inspired, college cryptid/supernatural hunters  — they’re the only ones who believe and maybe that’s okay, could be a mumu/could utilise npc characters if we’d like a group. optional: more of a buffy style scooby gang who are solving problems/include creatures in it. 

dark academia, the secret history inspired  — 

zombie apocalypse romance... with a twist on top of that — what’s more romantic than finding your soulmate at the end of the world? well, i guess if she’s also an unhinged person who will murder humans too, if they cross her. finding out she killed her last s/o somehow doesn’t phase you. basically: muse a has met someone after so long alone but muse b is a little crazy and they get into shenanigans. 

thoroughbreds inspired — unsettling girls forming a strange bond in rekindling a childhood friendship, uncomfortable step fathers, murder as a tool to solve problems rather than a ghastly act, taking blame as a romantic gesture. gifset for fun inspo. 

a return to the hurt/comfort fanfic tag. i’d like to explore deeper things while also dealing with the relationship between two characters. optionally but not limited to: grief, abuse (tentatively and with discussion about parameters), child custody issues, divorce, etc. 

this post but like no really, let’s write it. 

people who believe they are impossible to love pushing away the one who is demanding that they let them in!!!! not strong enough by boygenius vibes also 

an affair happening in a position of power, in a place it absolutely shouldn’t, where everything could turn to crap if they gave in but... they really can’t help themselves. people who are slaves to their own feelings no matter how toxic they are with one another. bad people being so passionately and deeply in love that it destroys everything. oh also this. 

still would kick things over for a normal people plot. i’ll never be over it!! never!! gifset for visual. shame and regret almost overpowering love but not quite, hurting each other, miscommunication, all the things. “i'm not a religious person but i do sometimes think god made you for me.” it should be illegal for someone to say that but jeez i am obsessed with it. 

someone truly deranged and evil and bloodthirsty and the only one who can stop them, but also the only one who can understand them. the only one who knows them. the only one who loves them? ah?

figure skating partners for carling i beg on my knees. fc optional i honestly might change her regardless. 

more song inspo without long winded thoughts: reckless driving by lizzy mcalpine, taken by muna, holding back/crowded places/waiting game by banks, forever winter/tis the damn season/cowboy like me by taylor swift but also really any taylor swift song. 

[transjarlaxle]

12 through 16 etienne/halsin :3c 🌳 🍃

EEUEUEUEUU IT'S THEM :dk_global_iceboundfortitude: im soooo emo thank yuo

from. here <3

12. What would they say each other’s worst quality is?

I don't think Etienne thinks Halsin has a "worst" quality, but he is frustrated sometimes by his - indecisiveness, for lack of a better word? Not that Halsin doesn't make decisions, because he was archdruid for a reason, but that he second-guesses himself and spends a long time dwelling on details. Halsin, on the other hand, knows that Etienne's worst quality is his stubbornness, his refusal to approach conversations he doesn't want to have, and his hardheadedness when he thinks he's right. In Etienne's defense, it's a good quality in a Ranger (as a profession), but maybe not so good for his relationships lmao

13. What would they say each other’s best quality is?

To Etienne, Halsin's best quality is his intuition. Not only does it serve him well in both of their jobs as naturalists and guides, but it makes him very understanding of Etienne's inner world without making him have to explain himself. On the other side of Etienne's stubbornness, Halsin believes his best quality is his determination. He will see just about anything through and never breaks a promise if he can help it. It makes him dependable and I think Halsin especially appreciates that.

14. How would they describe one another if asked?

Etienne gives a very methodical description of Halsin's appearance, then trails off after a detailed description of his eyes and hair, then clears his throat and says, "He's recognizable. I'll introduce you if you meet him."

Halsin smiles affectionately and keeps it simple - a tall, green-skinned tiefling, red hair, beautiful vinework tattoos framing his face. There's a sly comment about his speed and power, but it's bracketed by a description of his clothing and gear, and an unfamiliar listener will probably miss the subtext.

15. What names are they saved as on each other’s phone?

Halsin has something simple and cute like "my love" or "my ranger" <3 For the longest time Etienne just had him as "Halsin" but then he found out what Halsin had him saved as and changed it to a single emoji like the falling leaves or the sun with the cloud or something :3c

16. What would they consider quality time?

They go hunting together frequently, at least once a week. They spend a lot of time sharing space without speaking, which is good for them both to decompress and recharge - Halsin cooking while Etienne fletches arrows, or mending each other's clothes, or something similar. Sometimes, Halsin will remain in wildshape, and it's nice for having a giant furry animal to cuddle with and also not feeling pressured to act like a person.

[golbrocklovely]

since i was asked so nicely by a lovely anon...

here’s the first half of colby’s tweets from 2020.

i don’t have proof that these are his tweets, but believe me, they are his.

if it’s bold and italicized, it’s someone’s tweet to him.

if it’s in (), that’s just me commenting lol

added bonus: if they have a * next to them, that means it’s been deleted

~~~~~~~~~~~

Jan. 1 - being stuck in an elevator with 15 of your friends is the best way to start 2020

i kissed my hand this new years

ladies and gentlemen we are floating in space

Jan. 2 - thank you all i love you all

Jan. 7 - weird to think that about a year ago i was sitting in a cell in FL.. time flies

Jan. 11 - lmao i love you guys you get me

Jan. 13 - only fools rush in

Jan. 15 - you took the sun with you when you left -RK

the back of my mind has a constant itch for you

Jan. 16 - happy jail anniversary @/SamGolbach thanks for bailing me out

Jan. 19 - i promise you i’ll never act my age

Jan. 20 - real talk. should sam and i go on tour 2020?

(this makes really sad…)

Jan. 23 - there was an old man who kept coming to the 13th floor around 3am where our room was last night. i don’t like miami anymore i’m headed to orlando

Jan. 31 - looking for that deep connection with someone i'm tired of the superficial shit

Feb. 2 - IM DRUNK AT 3PM LETS GOOO CHIEFSSS

Feb. 4 - my couch is like a bed i could stay here forever

@/BigNik: Nobody cares about my well being but that’s ok

Feb. 5 - you should rap about this real shit bro that would change a lot. turn this emotion into art. i hope you know even if i’m busy i’m always still down to talk as well brother

(i don't like big nik, but this was such a sweet interaction &lt;3)

out of curiosity , would YOU ever spend the night in Queen Marys room B340 if you could ..?

Feb. 6 - imagine if we could all go explore some crazy haunted place one day … together. 🤔 i wonder if that’s even possible

if anyone is taking high school Chemistry right now , i’m so sorry

Feb. 7 - sometimes i can’t take a joke and it’s so annoying

Feb. 8 - i really don’t like myself when i party too hard but i got the best friends in the whole world

@/badboywolfy: This is Saturday afternoon regret hours

you feel me

Feb. 10 - valentine’s day is coming up soon i think i’m gunna throw up

Feb. 12 - sometimes my mind can turn into my worst enemy

Feb. 13 - cant stop thinking about living in another big house with all my boys.. life is about to be insane

keep on fighting and i will too

Feb. 14 - to whoever left a basket of chocolates and teddy bears at my door .. i <3 u

Feb. 15 - I MISS DUBAI

Feb. 16 - shadow man is watching

Feb. 17 - my pupils make me look like i’m rolling balls CONSTANTLY

Feb. 18 - still trying to process the psychic saying i was an old soul estimated to have lived a past 21 lives .. shit messes with your head

Feb. 20 - meeting you guys never gets old

Feb. 24 - missing the nights alone on my balcony

Feb. 25 - express your creativity

(i always wonder why he tweets shit like this out of no where lol)

Feb. 27 - blue haired Colbys makin a comeback

Feb. 29 - i'm always feeling like i'm in a dream

March 3 - need to watch the sunset more

March 5 - i don’t wanna tell my story i’d rather hear yours

March 8 - if this is all we know then we might as well run with it

March 9 - who’s down to have some deep conversations i’m tired of small talk

March 11 - just had my first sleep paralysis dream .. never experienced something so terrifying

praying for the world right now

(and here we go into the pandemic stuff……… great)

March 12 - you can have the prettiest face but i still won’t f w you if the personality isn’t there

March 13 - knowing that we all know nothing

March 15 - i haven’t stocked up on food or hygiene essentials does that mean i’m going to die ? am i making the wrong move here ?

March 16 - if postmates stops delivering i’m actually fucked

random fan: Just sit on your balcony, the stars will feed you

the balcony is the answer to all my internal worries/suffering

March 17 - day 3 of no food in the quarantine, not sure how much longer i can go with just a few almonds to spare. everything is spinning slowly.. i’ve been seeing silhouettes in my room dancing gracefully on the walls, i think my mind is leaving me. would you guys be mad if i ate Sam?

March 18 - time moves on, memories never fade

March 20 - the worst thing is never the last thing

March 22 - i think the only person i can really make crack up is myself

March 24 - it’s times like this i wish i had a little dog by my side who i could call my bestest friend..

@/amberscholl: here u go (pic of george)

can i borrow him? just for a week..? .. or maybe two?

@/amberscholl: (gif saying 'you want it? come and get it')

see you tonight

March 26 - guys i’m trying to learn how to dance but it’s gunna take some time i’m too awkward

March 29 - my last night on the balcony

March 30 - where the emo girls at

(i remember this tweet causing so much chaos in the fandom. everyone claiming they were emo… absolute madness lol)

March 31 - what can i say? me and the boys got gluteus to the MAXimus

(i take it back. THAT PHOTO OF THE BOYS NAKED AND THEIR BARE ASSES?!?!?! died right then and there.)

[writinandcrying]

I'd like a Match Up if you wanna! .o. Preferably for Rise but I'm familiar with every TMNT verse starting at '03 and forward if u thought of any others.

I'm just a gay/demisexual (a guy match plz!) demiguy (he/they) who's kinda short(?) I'm 5'5" at most but I haven't checked in a few years ngl. Appearance wise I shift between pastel or alt stuff is all.

I'm an ENTP and 9w1! I have a lot of trouble properly expressing or understanding emotions due to my Autism but I try to battle that by being blunt and asking questions! I'm also constantly stuck battling between people pleasing and my anger issues that make me wanna snap. To kinda combat that my anger is now p much pointed at myself so I don't hurt anyone or their feelings. But I'm trying to better myself with the "Do No Harm but Take No Shit" mindset. I generally make myself do my usual "im the funny friend" routine, but that lead to a lot of ppl assuming I'm stupid, so I'm trying to find a balance between that and showing other sides of myself :') I show my love through Physical Touch and Acts of Service! And I think I respond well to all Love Languages? Except I can be bad at accepting gifts bc of a dumb inner voice going "Oh so u manipulated them I to giving u smth" ...oop. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Ahh I really like Animation, Horror, and Comedy shows/movies, especially analyzing them. I kind of want kids in the future? I'd be more willing if I trusted my partner with my Lows (hopefully they trust me with theirs too ofc) or if I could skip the baby part tbh. I really enjoy baking, reading, and video games, but I like physical activities when there's a sort of clear goal? Like playing Volleyball or Soccer, but not just a general run or jog. But I'd love to travel the world in moderation too, I just want to make sure there's always a great place to come back to.

In my platonic and romantic relationships I can be frustrating bc I tend to bottle stuff up so I don't bother anyone. If I felt comfy enough and knew I didn't have to worry about my Big Fear(tm) of Abandonment then I would slowly get better at talking about things. I'm also really forgetful when it comes to my own things, like forgetting to eat, drink, or sleep or if there was anything I needed/wanted to do.. I think the only pet peeves I have is if I feel Not Heard or listened to? Or just Disregarded? I've been told with how I analyze situations but focus on emotions help others when they're in their worst moments? Like helping calm my little brother down from when angry or helping my mom or friends out of their depressive moments.

Thank you for your time! <3

hi there! sure thing <3 ill go towards rottmnt cuz it has literally consumed 70% of my brain lately lmao i match you with...

Mikey!

Honestly i can see both of you helping each other out into maturing and personal growth, Mikey knows he's clever and also still learning along the way, don't even consider yourself a bother into asking him questions cuz he loves to answer them, and if he doesn't know something, he can just asks his brothers!

Dr. Feelings make frequent visits in your hangouts, he constantly reminds you to unwind and has relaxing exercises if he notices you are bottling too much, and if someone ever tries to take advantage of your "people pleasing taste" Doctor Delicate Touch will also show up to yell tell the person to bug off

he understands the feeling of only being seen in "one light"- all mikey's (i mean in any version) suffer from youngest sibling syndrome - struggling with not being taken seriously, so he does gives you extra attention in everything you say, do, your feelings, thoughts, and if you mean business, so does he.

Honestly for Rottmnt Mikey i think he enjoys all love languages as well lmao, his top 3 are def words of affirmation, physical touch and quality time, he loves gifting you stuff as well, but if you ever mention those "oh i manipulated them into giving me these" thoughts he will fight /argue with you, like, every-time. He doesn't really get it, he tries to be as gentle as possible with your feelings, but on this topic things might escalate, he really likes you and wants to show it as well!

he ADORES that you like animation and horror too!! i headcanon that later on Mikey becomes a fan of horror/thriller movies and video games, everyone @ the lair gets scared to watch/play with him so he's more than thrilled to play and hangout with you, Mikey never really thought much about volley or soccer, but after meeting you he gets so addicted to it, even start to watch volleyball matches (specially woman league cuz they are the best mwah mwah chef kiss)

Mikey knows its hard for you to open up, so when you finally feel comfortable to, all eyes and ears on you, you are the main priority at the moment. He begins to notice you sometimes go non-verbal lke his brother Donnie (Canonically diagnosed with autism) so he knows how what to do to make you feel better or more comfortable depending on the situation

overall: your relationship is compassionate, full with hugs, kisses, snuggles (he loves to shower you with affection fr fr) and loads of fun dates! lucky you!

hope you liked it! match ups are closed for now

[thejellybeanboys]

Hi its me again :D and ty for the answer's BTW i didnt mean to overwhelm or hurt Wil-Liam 😰(i was only curious cuz he had hearts in his eyes)

I have a few more questions that i forgot to add in the previous ask but i didn't get to because i was in a hurry lol

Q:

For everybody:

1:what are your biggest fears?

2:Do you have any one for valentines day???(Note:Btw you don't have to answer this one im just curious :>)

3:Worst childhood memories?(Note:You also don't need to answer this one)

4:Fav animal???Why???

5:Whats on your mind?

(NA: LOL it's fine :3 these kids are all emos and embarrassed dummies and its all in their perspective so if these little buggers are mean or acting dumb its not your fault they are teens they are like this, also rest assured that Wil-liam is okay now he's just realized that he totally has a crush lmao) (okay back to the boys)

Luis: "Oh this person again um thanks for the ask. We got another one with multiple so I guess let's do them sequentially."

Codey: "Yeah. um, first one. Oh, Easy, biggest fear is getting forced into a relationship.. even worse if it's with ugh... those misogynistic online guys."

Cecil: "Ahí no, that should be everyone's biggest fear. But um mine is...Oh, this is going to sound really shallow but...being seen as pretty by others if I was...different. Like if one day I woke up to look too different or too... materialistic idk, I'm mostly saying that I like how I look right now and I wanna believe everyone thinks I look good but what if...I looked more up to everyone's standards, then they really didn't like the real me..."

Luis: "Woah..." O.O

Jeremy: "People are dumb if they don't think you're like the prettiest thing ever like how you are now."

Cecil: "...Thank you, Jeremy." (Blushes)

Jeremy: "Oh um... heh...ah, I guess I'll say my fear is...being forced to move in with my even more transphobic aunt."

Mason: "My turn! Two words. Clown. Snakes."

Hoagie: "Mines Getting eaten. Oh come on it's obvious, I'm a snack yes but sometimes not in a good way."

Leroy: "Being a DJ for a famous celebrity but it all goes wrong and my music career tanks forever."

Otty: " Rabbits hating me, wahh I wouldn't make it if those little guys all hated me."

Wil-Liam: "... Getting rejected. And being feared...also other things."

Luis: "Cryptic...But um mine is a monkey attacking me and ripping off my ugly beautiful face, look I...I can handle primates in memes and shows, I just, eh can't do it in real life."

Leroy: "...wait isn't like your uncle a monkey?"

(Second question)

Codey, Leroy, Benny, Mason, Hoagie: "No."

Jeremy: "You see. um...(Just do it man) I WAS HOPING YOU--CECIL COULD be my VALENTINE."

Cecil: "Really?"

Jeremy: "Yeah! Um, its okay if you say no or don't say anything--I mean we could all forget I said anything--"

Cecil: "Sure."

Jeremy: "Yeah?"

Cecil: "Yeah :))"

Jeremy: "Oh...awesome..ha. Um well I'll text you the dets later. Cause were like in a middle of a question."

Cecil: "OFC, hehe. Um thank you for asking me."

Codey: "OH thank gosh."

Luis: "Wow yeah we totally didn't expect that.(sarcasm) But...ugh as for me. I don't think I'm going to give Chris a card this year. I looked but all these cards are crummy and...well it's the 8th and my time is kind of up, so I'll put that plan on hold. Oh well, I guess I'll look through this card that I just found here addressed to me, but I'll see it later."

Wil-Liam: "..."

(Third question)

Codey: "Erm yeah I don't think were okay with sharing trauma rn, look we'll dump out our personal stuff all the time but..."

Luis: "Not really feeling it...Though I'll give a quick one. One day when I was 7 my mom accidentally threw away my vintage ebay bought Webkinz...I cried."

(Fourth question)

Luis: "Easy...DOG. Best answer the only answer."

Wil-Liam: "HEHE it's only a doggy-loving world now!!"

Luis: "That's...acceptable. But everyone else is not allowed to say other animals. I just muted yall,"

Wil-Liam: "Mines are wolves...is that okay?"

(N0t_Wordgirl /command: mute) (Not mute Wolfnoob,exe)

Luis: "HA yeah!"

(last question)

Luis: "We have no thoughts."

Wil-Liam: "Head empty.

Luis: (giggling) Oh wait... I forgo to unmute everyone...eh whatever it's much better like this anyway."

Wil-Liam: (Oh word?)

[angstics]

I have many thoughts about les mis live, and they are all beautiful and complex.

to get it out of the way, things that sucked: the face spotlights were RIDICULOUSLY distracting and ugly use wide spots. the context tidbits are so useless lmao everything is explained in the main songs. it kind of made eponine irritating because she would always appear in these ugly sounding tidbits just to yearn. The surprise is kind of the point. The video effects were kinda distracting BUT also really good which i will expand on later. The tempo was so off, at least to how im used to it. I really dislike how they elongated the notes (though it was impressive tbf). I dislike the weird pauses that were obviously not mistakes. I HATE the line changes. They removed my favorite part of paris look down when the ppl go “whens it gonna end somethings gotta happen now somethings gotta give itll come itll come” then the FANTASTIC fanfare. GOD. Watching it live, i felt act 1 was so rushed — i do think it had abnormally fast tempo… this one’s silly bc it depends on actor intuition but i wish they laughed at the points the characters laugh in the 2010 recording (theres like 3 points that just so perfectly punctuate the sadness). Noticeably awkward staging during rain will help flowers grow. I wish grantaire fell with enjolras SORRY.

Also i wish everyone who talked went to hell, everyone who coughed endlessly took some PILLS, everyone who went up and down the stairs pissed in their seat -_- the worst was when the idiots in front of me (WHO WERE TALKING THE WHOLE SHOOOOOW they were shushed by the usher Three times I need them to be tried for this) were whispering during To love another person is to see the face of god and i wanted to STRANGLE them

anyway, onto the good. And be sure it far outweighs the bad. Great casting, great singing, SUCH a good band, good lighting (spots otherwise). There were no obvious acting missteps that i hear in recordings which was a nice surprise

The set was SOOOOOOOO dynamic and fluid and lighting was used in a simple but CRAZY effective way to morph and splinter the setting. Augh. When the set pushed in during paris, i fell to my kneeeeessss (in my brain). The gate, the barricade, the houses were GORGEOUS

Lighting during the final battle. I wanted to die it was so good. I didnt know or forgot grantaire dies last. I remembered it was voluntary but not like that. Jesus god

There were a lot of surprises in staging acting etc that had me genuinely jump in my seat from shock and delight. I have never acted like that in a theatre, much less for a show ive seen and listened to a MILLION times. Some moments like this: enjolras falling over in the cart and being Dragged out, heart full of love starting so reluctantly (i was DELIGHTED by this it was a nice surprise laugh), the wigs (love), the staging during one day more (god when enjolras is dead center stage haloed by light).... there are so many other moments that had me shook i cant recall rn...

gavroche was so Present in the set, which you really miss in the audio. His little added dialogue bit was my favorite of those. His relationship w grantaire was particularly pronounced, which kinda shifted the source of grantaire’s sacrifice. Ofc there are many reasons he chose to die for the cause, but i hadnt thought one being grantaire seeing the police state for the robbing force it was. Hard yes, but evil. He didnt know it was *evil*. I think that realization was pushed by Gavroche’s killing and something so interesting in the discussion of how sheltered these kids were (or not). Rich boy’s game to play… what did enjloras know…

On the same line, i felt the “message” very strongly seeing it sung at me. Is there a world you long to see… i also felt the faith themes distinctly. Vaguely christian ending lol ill lead you to salvation, the only survivors being a couple. Wait the thenadiers are also a couple. Lol?

On that lot, they were fun and good lol. They changed one of his beggar at the feast lines and it was kind of silly. “this one’s a queer but what can you do” to “this one’s a queer, i might try it too” ????? I dont know if we want to wokeify this guy in particular

There was a part duringggg i think drink with me before grantaire’s verse where both he and enjolras are in the shadows on literal opposite sides of the stage (e is high right upstage, g is low left downstage) and grantaire is staring Right at enjolras. And enjolras turns to him through the first verse. I was watching this going crazy that they actually fanfictionified them i didnt think they would more than ive already seen. There is one movement in particular ive never seen and would have Definitely been in the compilations i watched (lol). This will have its own seperate joke post

Speaking of, watching it live made me realize how Present enjolras and grantaire’s relationship is. Besides the lovey dovey achilles-and-patroclus slash thing, i loooovveeeee their ideological conflict SOOOO much. It is so genuis. So i love that it was center stage when it isnt really in the lyrics (or 2012 film or other adaptations)

And they were both blond. Which was crazy

Javert at the end made me so crazy. Again, the staging — mourning Gavroche, seeing valjean carry marius — shifted how i thought of his suicide as well. I think maybe he had the same awakening as grantaire

Hey guys maybe the police state and prison complex is bad lmfao

The candlesticks at the end ❤️ (this is a bit of hater moment but i was watching the ramin 14 boot and the moment the bishop walks away from him at the end he does the same thing fredric march does where there is a pause and jean is kneeling infront of the bishop and he holds the bishop’s hands to his head in silence and. It is so vulnerable and meaningful and i adore it. And i wish theyd kept that staging)

I always found it weird that eponine is for some reason fantine’s right hand man in heaven. If we’re being haters i still dont like the caricatured costumes and behaviours of “the poor” and “whores” companies. AND they shouldve really tried harder on boy eponine. cut her hair at the very least and mirror her further w fantine -_- well that makes make me like heaven more

This also really made me think about how valjean saw javert as Just A Man, while javert saw himself as The Law. Which they literally say but seeing how they acted around each other cemented it. Javert was so very humanized by his sadness and anger and all that emotion Destroyed him because there is no compassion in the law lol. Maybe there is something wrong with our governments Lol

for a bit that kinda meanders and strays from the main action, they made "heart full of love" et al. really really wonderful. the staging was so great, like marius actually climbing the gate and throwing rocks at her window, cosette running to him, marius and eponine hiding along the gate in times i didnt think they were listing. the thenadier climbs the house set it's so fun

i love that eponine is consistently black. it adds. so much. and i will always judge a production if their eponine is white. this one had a great black actor play her -- her voice was nicely different from the recordings

i liked the video sets, especially when it emphasized character mvmt. sometimes it was bright and looked kind of bad, so the darker the better lol. there was a moment when we dip in the sewers where thenadier enters from upstage center from the darkness of the sewer in the backdrop and it was AWESOME.

OH MY GOD turning -> empty chairs. GOOOOOOODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD. turning is such an underrated song and they just so beautifully staged it. the all female cast who communicated such different perspectives on the massacre that was a nice change from a monolithic company. and the lights. when i saw theyd set them down, i knew what was coming. and then it came. God. empty chairs. so good. So good.

the choreo during the wedding was great

Enjolras had the red vest. W

god i feel im missing so much. hope i get another cheapo ticket. Eek. im so glad i get to see it at all. limit hit <3

[television-pil0t]

I don’t wanna be touched I wanna be loved. I wanna feel loved. I wanna stop crying. I don’t wanna be needy I wanna be needed. I don’t wanna hurt this much but I don’t wanna die. I wanna handle it myself but I’m at my breaking point. LMAO IVE BEEN HERE FOR A DAMN WHILE! SINCE JULY APPARENTLY! I wear the same clothes to school everyday. I don’t wanna try. My head hurts and it’s spinning. I’m tired of bleeding. I’m tired of punching and burning myself. I’m tired of finding every way out of this. I hate being worried he’s cheating on me. I hate how nonchalant he can be. I hate that i have any problem with him whatsoever GOD IM SUCH A ASSHOLE! WHY AM I LIKE THAT! WHAT THE FUCK DO I WANT FROM HIM! IM THE ONE THAT LET HIM BACK IN MY LIFE AND NOW IM COMPLAINING IT BITCH ITS YOUR FAULT ITS ALL YORU FAULT! Why do I complain so much. Am I asking to much to be loved a little bit more? Yes. Because he’s giving me all he can. We talked about it before. God he’s fucking trying. I’m gonna throw up I hate myself. I’m never gonna be good at art. Programming is a joke. I’m shit at technology. MF probably dosnt EVEN really want me around anymore. He used to talk about how much he wanted me. He said he needed me once. My dad used to hug me. I used to have worth. I used to be worth something. Why did this happen. I used to have so much to me. I used to be so nice. Why did he touch me. WHY DID HE TOUCH ME! WHY DID MIDDLE SCHOOL HAPPEN! GOD I WISH I WAS JUST MOLESTED ON THE INTERNET WHY DID IT HAPPEN IN REAL LIKE! WHY DID HE RUIN MY LIFE! I used to be so fucking nice! I used never be obsessed with someone! I was fucking normal! Why did he have to hit me. Over and over and over! I used to be so fucking nice I CANT GET OVER THAT I USED TO BE NICE! Now I’m such a asshole! Manipulative ass FUCKING BITCH! Using there mental illness as a landing pad when I do something wrong and have the gall to act like I’m better than everyone. MF you wanna go protest. Protest against yourself you fuck up. All this because a guy in 8th grade? All this because some guy when you were 5? Get the fuck over it! SHIT AS IF I CAN BLAME THEM! I’m just a fucking asshole! My bf probably still sends nudes to the gc. He still probably talks shit. He probably likes his friends. LMAO HE PROBABLY FUCKING FLIRTYS WITH THEM ALL THE FUCKING TIME AND I JUST DONT FUCKING KNOW BECAUSE “you get jealous so easily” MF I JUST WANNA DIE GOD DAMN IT IM CRYING AGAIN! I JUST WANNA FEEL SAFE! I WANT SECURITY! I WANT A FUCKING APOLOGY! I WANNA BE TREATED BETTER! EVEN MY PARENTS FUCKING HATE ME! HIS PARENTS WILL TO WHY WOULD I EVEN GO OVER THERE IM A AWFUL FUCKING PERSON WHY AM I ALIVE I SHOULDVE DIED YEARS AGO! I’m a fucking pussy that’s why. I just wanna be ok so fucking back. God it hurts. I cant keep going but I refuse to stop. I don’t wanna die. I just want better. I need better. I can’t be surrounded by fucking hell and be expecting to thrive in it! I’m the the rose in concrete god damn it! I was just a kid. FUCK I ALWAYS SAY THE WRONG THAT! AND THE WORST PART LMAOOO HE DOSNT EVEN TELL ME WHEN I SAW SOMETHING WRONG! HE JUST TALKS SHIT ABOUT ME LMAOO!! “Lol you never learn” YEAH I FUCKING CANT! CALL ME OUT PLEASE SOMEONE HELP ME HELP ME HELP ME! I can’t talk to my own bf about my issues not only has he given up by I just feel like he would say “damn boi it’s not that serious” I scream! Maybe if I scream until I bleed I’ll finally be heard. By everyone. I’m tired of this. I’m not ready to be a adult. I’m not ready for any of this shit. God my heart hurts so bad. I feel like I’m just in year one. So much anxiety. Nothing to ease the pain and who’s fault is that. Mine. As always. Who am I crying to? Who am I asking for help? Nobody. Because it never goes well. I just wanna be told I’m loved. Im needed. Tell me it’s gonna be fucking alright because this world sucks. Im not gonna be able to leave out of my apartment until 26 at this rate because of government and inflation and my bf is just saying “save money” UGH LOOK AROUND!! WERE ALL TRYING! It’s so hard to make ends meet! It’s so hard!!