#halt and catch fire s3

[haltandcatchfiretothemax]

Mackenzie Davis as awkward roommate and third wheel supportive co-worker, friend, and confidant Cameron Howe in Halt and Catch Fire (2014-2017)

[groguspicklejar]

The Questions We Ask [Chapter Twelve]

Summary: You come to find that the Mandalorian doesn't make empty promises. Unfortunately for George and the people who jeopardised your safety, those promises threaten their very existence.

Pairing: Din Djarin x fem!reader

Warnings: Violence, mentions of SA and trauma caused by SA, Protective!Din, George (let's be honest, he's a warning), mentions of Brexlee, blood, soft!Din, Helmetless!Din, Depression, self deprecating thoughts, Angst, Grogu being adorable, toxic relationships, mentions of child abuse.

Word Count: 6.6K

A/N: Took me so long to write this. I'm not very good at fight scenes, so I kept a lot of it short. Thank you guys again for all the love and support❤️💐 p.s– I'll be watching The Mandalorian s3 very soon to catch up with our favourite father-son duo✨

Chapter Nine, Chapter Ten, Chapter Eleven

Masterlist

There is an ache in his chest.

Din thinks his heart is already preparing to grieve. It's a silent howl in the forest. He can't calm down. He cannot stop the clamour rattling in his chest, howling and thrashing and begging for you.

That crippling fear he felt on Sorgan comes back with a vengeance. This time, it clings to the nightmare he’s had. His feet move as fast as he can, but it doesn’t seem to matter how many steps he takes. You were nowhere in sight. You were out there, struggling and freezing. You were out there, most likely bleeding. Stabbed or shot or both. Din doesn’t know.

He doesn’t know if he’ll ever see you again. The uncertainty scares him more than having to face any danger on his own. The thought of being without you threatens to unearth from beneath the crevices of his armour.

It looms from deep within his soul. The loneliness, it seems, never truly leaves him unless you are with him. He doesn’t know if he can face it again. He will never be at peace knowing that it will always be there, waiting to devour him in your absence.

He makes sure the kid’s pod sticks close. It is sealed shut, protecting the little green baby inside. He knows the kid’s still awake and is most likely anxious about what is about to come. Din does not like the idea of bringing him right to the middle of the battlefield, but he has no choice. He doesn’t trust anyone in that town any more than you do.

 He’s running toward the sounds of blaster fire. Every echo strikes something in him that leaves a smoke trail of fear. He prays that none of those bolts end up embedded in your flesh.

There’s danger lingering in the air. Din is used to it. Years of hunting down some of the most despicable souls out there made him somewhat immune to the idea of death. He cannot, however, bring himself to envision the same for you. He cannot accept the idea of death claiming you. Not while he still breathes.

Din trudges through the snow as fast as he can. Blaster drawn and ready to aim anything that poses a threat to you and the kid. And chaos is what he finds.

Mere Minutes Ago.

“Cyare?”

You were being followed. There was someone else in the woods and they were following you. You are not sure if that was the proverbial sixth sense speaking to you or if you were just paranoid. Either way, someone was tailing you and it was not the Mandalorian.

“Cyare, talk to me. What’s going on?”

The sound of a blaster stopped you dead in your tracks. It stares you dead in the eye, smoke coming from the hollow barrel. And the person holding it seemed just as eager to end you as it did.

You smell the burnt stench of wood bark. She had shot the tree next to you.

“Take another step and the next one goes right between your eyes.” she warns, halting your every move. “Drop the communicator.”

Your jaw clenched tightly. The small device was the only thing connecting you to the Mandalorian, to Beetle. Your whole life. Resistance floods your veins for a moment.

“Don't make me repeat myself.”

“Marshal Vanda.” you struggle not to stutter in her presence, obeying her order. The communicator sinks into the snow.

She sighs deeply as if this is the last thing she would rather be doing. “You know, I actually thought that by the time the Mandalorian leaves, all of my problems would be fixed.”

You remain silent.

The irritation on her features grates you the wrong way. You’re not sure how to react to it, lest she shoots you for ruining her plans. “I thought he’d go back and help me get rid of the thugs that have been plaguing my town. I thought I’d have to overlook the fact that there were three bounties just waiting to be collected on your heads for the sake of my people.”

Now that is what sparks your rage. You burst out before you can really think better of it, “You claim to be this benevolent saviour yet you work with the likes of George Celwik.”

Her expression hardens. “I’m aware of the blood on his hands and the lives he has ruined merely for his amusement.”

You wonder how she could claim to be looking out for her people while she strikes a deal with a devil like George. You were not even aware of how they came to know each other and although you want to ask, you know it’s not relevant. “Then why?”

“A means to an end.” she simply states, the fingers on her blaster flexing slightly. “I wanted to protect my people. I hope you can understand that. Your bounty alone would’ve done more harm than good if you stayed long enough.”

“So you burn an entire inn with your people in it instead.” you sharply return, the fury melting the chill in your bones. “The people you so desperately want to protect are being caught in the crossfire because you wanted to be rid of me.”

“That wasn’t my idea!” Zaria bursts, taking a step closer. “But the casualties would’ve helped in persuading the Mandalorian to stay a little longer to find the gangs who have been poisoning my town. I had hoped that even if Celwik had taken you, he’d stay to help me fix this mess because Mandalorians seem to have a soft spot for children.”

It doesn’t help ease your apprehension. You’re sure it shows and it irks her. If your judgement makes her ashamed, good. You hope she chokes on her guilt. You hope she realizes that she did more harm than good by inviting that serpent into her town under the pretence that he was going to help her.

“But he didn’t, did he?” your voice is soft, condemning.

“No…” she solemnly confirms. “What I wasn’t counting on was his love for you.”

There’s something in your chest that shatters and it is devastating. You don’t know what spills out of the cracks, but it weighs down on your soul and sinks to the bottom of an abyss. It’s a quiet kind of sorrow that cripples you.

For a second you want to believe her. You want to think that the Mandalorian feels that way for you. The way you could’ve only hoped anyone would’ve felt.

That raw, single most catastrophic feeling floods the heart until the body cannot function without it. 

For so long, you wished Brexlee could feel that way for you. You tried to pretend that he did for a while until it wasn’t enough anymore. Until he hurt you the way he did. You tried to give it time, tried to do everything in your power to make him stay with you, to make him loyal, to commit to you and you alone.

You dressed up. Wore more make-up. Cooked more of his favourite meals. Ran his errands. Spoke less. 

Not a damn thing worked. It wasn’t enough. Nothing ever was.

But when you think about the Mandalorian, about how he risked everything to save the child and somehow bring you with him, something surges up from the depths of your broken heart.

You remember the tenderness in his caress when he holds you close, the soft reverence in his voice when he speaks. You remember when he took off his armour in front of you, letting himself be vulnerable in your presence. It dawns on you that he never would’ve done that with anyone else. Only you have that privilege. Only you.

When he allows you to touch him, you know that it is as close to divinity as you’ll ever come to. Nothing will ever compare to the honour of having his trust in the cusp of your hands. You cradle it the way you would hold Beetle to your chest, nestle it close to your heart and never let go.

He is out there right now. Tracking you down. As he promised, he is scorching a path through the thick snow to find you.

You want to dig your heels and stay exactly where you are. You want to wait for him right here. Elation sings in your bones at the thought of seeing him again.

You barely had any time to react before a shot pierced her arm.

“Get 'em, boys!”

Several shrieks are all you hear before you take off. Blast fire rings everywhere and you do your best to get away from it. You barely glance behind as you do and it seems one of your nightmares has come to life.

Bandits, it looked like. They were all teeth and knives and blasters blazing in the thick of the cold forest. You wonder if they were the same ones the Mandalorian was hunting. 

You don’t get very far before one of them blocks your way. His teeth glint as brightly as the dagger in his hand. “Where do you think you’re going?”

Your skin prickles with fear. He throws the knife between his hands. Back and forth, the steel gleams and silently terrorizes you. He takes a step closer and you take a step back.

“I think I’ve seen you before.” he says, twirling the knife between his fingers. “Pretty little thing you are, aren’t ya?”

You don’t respond. Eyes wide and glancing about to see if you’ve got anything to use against a Devaronian twice your size and his weapon. You have nothing besides the snow beneath your feet and–

Wait…

The flash charge.

“Where’s your Mandalorian, huh?” he jibes, grinning from horn to horn as he takes another step.

There’s another one behind you who asks, “Kriff, is that the Marshal?”

Your hands are shaking. You want to escape this mess but you are aware that if you don’t get it right the first time, it might just be your only and last attempt. Before he could even think, you close your eyes and activate the charge. Behind your eyelids, there is nothing but dull light and you hear a piercing cry. You keep moving, hoping you don’t bump into anything through squinted eyes. You keep your vision away from where the charge was shot.

You hear them yelling in your wake.

“What the kriff was that!”

“Where’d she go?!”

The worst one was the one who got the brunt of your attack. You know for sure that the flash charge burned him in the worst way possible because he was wailing about how his eyes hurt. There’s a part of you that does feel sorry for him.

But you think better of having sympathy for those who seek to harm you. This is the consequence of his bad intentions.

When you’ve run far enough from where the light was, though it has now faded, you open your eyes and charge forward.

Just by Maker’s intervention or simply dumb luck, the bandit in front of you bursts into dust.

Dust. He doesn’t drop into a heap. Doesn’t fall on his back. Doesn’t even make a sound of distress. It all went by too fast for either one of you to even react. No wounds. No bruises. No cuts. No black blood splattering on the tree bark and the snow. He just… poofed into ash. The knife he held dropped into the snow.

You’re so disconcerted by the sight that you screamed.

He didn’t mean to frighten you. Only the bandits. The vile men who want to hurt you.

Din felt the sick satisfaction rush through him when the Devaronian dissipated into ashes right in front of you. His only regret was your blood-curdling scream. He doesn't have time to dwell on it before the rest of them swarm upon him like a hive.

He sets the pod to move away from him before he gets to work. There are more who stay than run. The ones who don’t value their lives hang back to try and fight. One by one, each dies by rifle, knife or fire. He barely glances to see you hiding behind a tree before a bullet bounces on his pauldron. He does his best not to get shot where the armour doesn’t cover him.

Another blast rings behind him. He finds another rat dropping at his feet. The one who shot him was someone he least expects to be here.

Deputy Tenyl Khan joins the fight. He barely sends a nod before finding himself in a scuffle.

It’s a bloodbath. Those that save themselves are far and very few, but there are still enough of them to make his ears ring with adrenaline. Most likely on their way to the nearest spaceport.

Another bandit disintegrated with frightening accuracy. Din hits the closest criminal with the butt of his rifle. The next one puts up a fight, but it’s hardly a match. His opponent’s knife merely grazes his armour and ends up with a vibroblade in his stomach. It ended as quickly as it began.

“Let me go!” He’s startled by the sound of your voice. Din doesn’t hesitate to draw his rifle once again, ready to shoot at whatever is a threat to you.

When the commotion dies down, he’s only left with one more obstacle. A wave of dread freezes him right where he stands when he finally comes to terms with what he’s looking at.

George holds a blaster under your chin while his other hand firmly clasps around you, restricting you from running. You’re breathing harshly through your nose, keeping your head held high as George backs away with you.

“Put the rifle down, Mando! Or she dies!” he yells. “Put it down!”

He’s backed into a tall tree. Two to one. Blood oozed from his forehead and stained the locks of his blond hair. Green eyes, wild and heated with desperation as he looked around for a way out that did not involve him getting shot dead.

There wasn’t a way out. Not if Din has something to say about it. On top of that, he wasn’t about to allow George to take you with him either. Not when he’s come this close to having you in his arms again.

“You’re outgunned and outnumbered.” The Deputy speaks, rigid as he moves to one side. “Don’t be stupid. Let her go.”

He’s surrounded. Din stands in front, staring right at you. He hates having to point his rifle in your direction. You’re trembling. Frightened and distressed. The exhaustion set in your bones was suppressed under a thick layer of adrenaline. It was nothing like the picture in his mind, of you, of his nightmare. But it was close enough.

You’re heaving in shallow breaths, but you’re still alive and well. There’s a nasty bruise on your face that he’d like to tend to. Your body temperature is most likely lower than it should be. He should get you somewhere warm. Preferably the Razer Crest. Where it is safest. Once the three of you are in hyperspace, Din can start working on every wound that has been inflicted on you while he was absent.

He shouldn’t have been absent in the first place. He’s been away for too long. He should’ve gotten to you sooner–

“You should’ve just left her on Nevarro, Mando.” George chuckles darkly. “Would’ve been a lot easier for both of us.”

Din disagrees on that last part. He watches silently as the man jerks you around when you fidget. A quiet rage bubbled underneath with each waking moment.

There were countless quarries that had captured and capitalized on when he was working for The Guild. Many of them didn't deserve to be sent to their doom. Din earned the right to choose his own bounties because of the stories he's heard. Innocent men, women and children being sentenced to death by hunters and their clients.

He didn't want that on his conscience. That's why he picked the worst of the lot. Bail jumpers, murderers, predators, all the ones he wouldn't give a damn about when he pulled the trigger.

But you?

You were no quarry. Your only crime was being the daughter of a man who only saw you as a broodmare. You did not deserve to be hunted down like some animal and held at gunpoint.

George made the mistake of believing so. He was as good as dead the second he put his hands on you. The same goes for everyone else who took the job. 

“Is she really worth all this, hmm? She that good in the sack?” The barb burns something deep, making his jaw clench tightly. “She must be. Heard she drove Brexlee to the point of insanity because he couldn't get enough of her. Always had to have his hands on her, whether she liked it or not.”

Din's ears trickle sharply at the words. The small blinks in your tearful eyes, the way your gaze shifts away from his…

Did he hurt you? His own voice rings back to him. It felt like so long ago since he asked that question. It was a request to glimpse into your life without him. Or rather, an excuse. A valid reason to execute the man who mistreated you.

The first night on Sorgan comes back in flashes. Soft touches. Fingers laced between his. Low candlelight. Din's own heart thundering perilously in his chest because you were so close to him. So close, so vulnerable.

He asked that question because he needed to see, to know if he was going to live with an ocean of guilt flooding his chest every time he thought about how he didn't take a chance with you sooner. How he could've saved you the trouble of being with that scumbag.

He stops breathing.

N–no.

The tight smile hid a lie he should have never ignored. He should've pushed. He should have dug deeper because he wasn't sure then. He is now and the ocean crushes his soul.

Beside him, Tenyl brazenly speaks up, “Drop the blaster, Celwick.”

“Not until Mando drops his rifle.” George sneers, shifting you back when you squirm against him, pressing the blaster harder against your skin. “Or I blow her pretty little brains out.”

Din freezes. His mind forces him to imagine it. The blood in the snow. Your body, cold and lifeless. Bile rises up his throat because he cannot bear to see that image unfold. An inexplicable, volatile monster nearly forces its way to the surface to prevent that thought from turning into yet another reality.

He won’t take the risk. The imminent threat to your life is too great.

Slowly, the rifle is lowered. But it does nothing to ease the heart rattling violently in his chest. So long as that blaster is still pointed at you, Din won’t relax. Not for one second.

“That’s right.” George goads, eyes gleaming with victory. “Easy does it, Mando.”

“Mando.” Deputy Khan warns beside him, but he ignores it. He has to.

“Drop your weapon.” Din responds to him instead.

Tenyl doesn’t immediately react to the order. Din wants to go over to him and knock him down for not listening, for increasing the risk on your life. He doesn’t.

He won’t look away from you. Too afraid that if he does, you might just vanish and slip right through his fingers again and this time, he won’t be able to find you. He’s going to choke on his own blood-stained sorrow if you are not in his arms soon.

However, the Deputy lowers his weapon with a heavy sigh and a hardened mask. Din’s breathing comes a little easier. Your expression softens ever so slightly.

“Good.” George nods. “Now here’s what’s gonna happen.” Din clenches his fist when you whimper as the man taps his blaster on your temple. “I’m taking her with me.”

“Forget it.” Din spat.

“Oh, I’m sure you can find a new slut to take care of your needs in hyperspace, Mando.” Your bleary eyes slowly blink, closing as the blaster pressed firmly at your cheek, digging into your teeth. “This one’s already spoken for.”

Your shaky voice speaks up, “You might as well shoot me right now.”

“Cyare!” Din sharply barked, trying to dissuade you, but you began to struggle against your captor.

“I’m not going anywhere with you–” You're a caged bird, thrashing against the bars. Frantic and afraid. Tears in your eyes, but still fighting to get out. Din fears you might hurt your wing while trying to escape, or worse.

“Hey!” George barks immediately, keeping you still. He seethed harshly into your ear as you grimaced.  “Play nice, Sweet Cheeks. I don’t wanna have to return damaged goods to my buyer.”  He glanced at Din, faint amusement lining his features as he continued, “But since Mando’s already had a taste, I guess it’s a little late for that. Bet your fiance’s not gonna be happy about that.”

Another blaster clicks. This time, it’s not Din’s or Tenyl’s or even the one held so close to your throat. “Drop it.”

The Marshal is pissed.

She breathes deeply through her nose. Her face sports a few cuts and bruises, probably from being ambushed by the men that had attacked you. There’s blood on her sleeve. Her hair, wild and dishevelled. She looks like she is fighting the intrusive thought of just pulling the trigger. Din almost wishes she would, if it were not for the chance that it might trigger Celwick’s blaster.

A dark chuckle escapes George, not even bothering to turn his head to face her. “My, how the tables have turned…”

“Don’t make me say it again.” She jerks the nozzle against his head, the same way he had done to you.

“Zaria.” He grits his teeth, face hardening. “You’re making a big mistake.”

“I don’t think so.” she counters quickly. “Most of those scumbags are dead. Those that remain are all on the run and those that remain are smart enough to get off this planet, which means Mando did his job.” She has the audacity to smirk. “I have no more use for the likes of you.”

The irony of her words is not lost on any of you.

“I knew you were too much of a goody two shoes to join my ranks.” he scoffs.

“Let her go and drop your weapon, Celwick.” she orders and when he does nothing, her eyes narrow. “Don’t make this harder on yourself.”

“You think Mando won’t come after you just because you’re putting up the hero front, hmm?” George remarks smugly, laughing when the Marshal falls silent. “You were in cahoots with me to steal his little pet. He’s not letting that go–”

“Do it!” she hisses, abruptly cutting him off.

Din holds his breath, waiting for a shift in the tides. His hand tightens on his pulse rifle. He was already preparing himself to use it one more time.

For a minute, no one moves. No one makes a sound. Tension hangs in the air and haunts everyone present.

And then, for some miraculous reason, George makes his last mistake.

You’re shoved to the side. You land on the snow. Din does not think. He saw an opening and he took it. His finger is on the trigger faster than he can breathe. Several shots ring and echo into the forest. Eight in total. Two from Tenyl. Two from Zaria. Three from Celwick.

And one from Din.

Suddenly, there was one less person in existence.

Dark ashes floated and fell like snowflakes onto the ground. Din’s mind was numb for a split second as he stared almost in disbelief. There was one less man out to get you. And he was responsible for that. He did that.

He heaved out a sigh of relief before turning to look at you.

You were still on the floor. Trembling with hands over your head as you were curled up into a ball to shield yourself from the spray of blaster fire.

Din goes to you, his head ringing from the fact that this nightmare was all over. You were still alive, still breathing. Up until now, he had to face the possibility of living what was left of his lifetime without you and that was not something he was willing to accept.

He kneels and reaches you, finally–finally…

You’re startled when his hands grasp your shoulders. Wide eyes staring right at him, heavy, shaky breaths heaving in and out. There was terror in your soul and it seeped through your clothes like water and stained his gloves and his armour when he embraced you.

“Mando…” you cried, burying your face in his cowl. “You found me…” your voice trembled as your bones did and it frightened him as much as it thrilled him when you kept mumbling– “You found me, you found me, you found me–”

He did. He did find you. Just like he promised. He didn’t fail you this time.

“I’ve got you, Cyare.” he croaked, nearly choking back his own tears as they threatened to drown him. “I’ve got you.”

He’s not letting you go this time. Not for anything. He rooted his fingers into you. Tightly. Deeply. Anchoring you to him. As if parting with you will kill him.

After all of this, it might as well have.

“He said that you beat him up on Nevarro.” you quietly ask him, noticing the way his shoulders tense. Your hand cupped the side of the helmet. “Is this true?”

He doesn’t answer you immediately, focusing on wrapping the white cloth around your wrist. He’s gentle, careful not to do it too tightly, but makes it firm enough to stop you from losing any more blood.

There’s a certain honour to his actions. He does the task with the same kind of respect that can be seen when he’s cleaning his armour. He holds your wrist as if it is made of Beskar, like it is meant to be valued by high-ranking officials of the universe.

Something in your stomach flutters as you quietly regard him, relishing the care he takes in looking after you. The adrenaline in your blood is dispelled by his presence and your shoulders finally ease down. The assurance of having him around you quietly whispers, telling you that you are going to be okay.

“Looking back on it now, I realize that I’ve made a mistake.” he finally speaks. “I should’ve killed him right then and there.”

You’re not sure whether to be frightened by his confession or laugh. But a warm smile etches across your lips, your tone softly teasing, “Mando, how long have you been looking out for me?”

It does not come as a surprise when he doesn’t immediately answer. His visor faces anywhere by your eyes and it makes you aware that you’re making him nervous.

Finally, he says, “Since the day we met.”

Your smile drops. The quiet shock in your eyes is clearer than the waters of Naboo. You’re sure his confession sparked a glimmer of stars in your wounded soul. Lighting their way through your darkest hour.

Now it makes sense. Even if you hadn’t seen the light –his light– it was always there. Showing you the way. Directing you to better paths. Guiding you out of an abyss.

Be a little more careful around these streets. The next person might not be so forgiving. He had told you this the first day you met.

Brexlee is bad news. A warning you should have taken heed of, but a warning nonetheless.

You are not a liability. Even though you’ve always felt like one to him, it feels nice to know that he doesn’t think so.

Little moments like this you’ve rarely had with anyone else. He’s been right there for you, even when you thought he wasn’t. This is more than what you’ve gotten from anyone. If the price of devotion was steep, you are to pay it in earnest, and you are overjoyed to have it reciprocated.

“I’ve…” He's struggling. You can tell as his helmet tilts downward, unable to hold your gaze. “You’ve always been…”

Your heart takes the form of a never-ending storm. Like blue flames scorching through the darkness. Uncontrollable and untamed. You will never understand how a man with few words can undo you so aptly when you’ve spent nearly your entire life plagued by those with endless false promises.

But he speaks. Although it is silent, he still makes his own promises. Unbreakable vows that fill your chest with something that never fails to numb the ache left behind by those who have wronged you. He speaks with his actions. The hands that brought chaos to so many others could never seem to harm a single hair on your head.

You look down and you smile. You’ve heard enough. This was enough for now.

“I know who sent the bounty.” you confided softly instead. “On me, I mean.”

Somehow, this was a lot easier to talk about. The danger. The bounties. The lives you were both running from. For all of the chaos you’ve endured and how reluctant you are on reliving it, it felt much better to air it all out, rather than talk about what this thing hanging between you and the Mandalorian was.

He looks up in surprise and waits for you to continue.

“George wasn't taking me to Nevarro.” Your hands fiddle together. “He was taking me to Naboo.”

Vast oceans. The smell of salt in the air. Your mother’s soft humming lulling you to sleep at night. The taste of jogan fruits. Laughter in the house, in the shop. Your mother’s toolbox opened as she shows you all the different parts of a droid and how each one works.

You almost want it back now. But you know you would have to trade it for the life you have with the Mandalorian. Actually, no. That’s not even correct. You wouldn’t even be living with your mother and uncle. Your father won’t allow it this time.

“I guess my father sealed whatever deal he's made with the highest bidder, even in my absence.” You weakly shrug with an empty voice. “I wonder what he'll do once he finds out that I'm not pure anymore. Used goods won't fetch a fair price—”

“Hey.” he sharply interjects, gloved hands cupping your cold cheeks to make you face him. “You are not used goods. You are no one's property. No one's.”

Your eyes stay fixed on his visor while your heart threatened to burst inside your ribcage. “Not even yours?”

The silence that follows is nothing like the cold that surrounds you. It is stifling, terrifyingly warm. He makes a sound under his helmet, you weren’t sure if he was saying something or if he was choking.

“I…” The touch of his gloves faltered on your skin. “I don’t consider you to be property.”

You know this. He has made it abundantly clear to you since the day you met. And he has hardly given you any reason to believe otherwise.

“But since you are travelling with me, that means…” he hesitated, but your breath stuttered when he steps closer. “You are mine to protect.”

You cannot deny the warmth that floods your cheeks. He is a dream you never want to wake up from. The ocean you would like to drown in.

A slow smile breaks through your lips. You tipped your forehead against the top of his helmet and sighed as his arms wrapped around your waist. You sink into his embrace with no resistance, revelling in his strength. Everything slows and you know, you just know that nothing will ever compare to this feeling.

This is the part that screws you over. Because you don’t want it to end. You don’t want to slip away from him ever again. Not like the last couple of times. Or any other way. But you know that there will be something after the other, so long as those bounties still stand.

How long until your next separation? Is it going to be permanent this time?

You don’t want those questions answered.

Not soon after, when the snow starts to fall again, you quietly feed Beetle while the Mandalorian speaks to Deputy Khan. The Razer Crest had been fully restocked with items you were sure weren’t poisoned and heated up to melt away at the chill in your bones. You’re sitting on a storage box in the cargo hold with the baby on your lap, glancing at both of them.

Beetle has been babbling endlessless since your return. He clings to you as you pick him up and carry him, nuzzling his little face in your neck. He threatened to cry when his father wanted to take him. As much as you were tired from all the violence, you missed him too. You didn't mind him much because he just wanted to be close to you.

“Your reward.” Khan hands him a briefcase, no doubt filled with a large amount of credits. “It looks like you scared off the rest of the bastards who were poisoning the town. We’re closing down their base of operations right now.”

“The old factory.” Mando says.

“That’s the one.” Tenyl confirms with a nod. “Those bastards were systematically picking off and abducting people and killing them off in that Maker-forsaken place.”

“And the Marshal?” you spoke up, surprising both men. Their heads turned to you and you shrink, wanting to disappear.

“In a holding cell.” Tenyl replies sadly. “She turned in her badge.”

To your understanding, she was a good friend of his. He couldn’t understand why she would jeopardize everything and everyone she has ever known and loved the way she did. Granted, she was trying to save the town, but there should have been clear judgement in her mind when it came to how she went about it.

Some people just don’t know the difference between saving the world and destroying it.

“She…” He paused, taking a few steps closer to you. He was apologetic, sombre. It pulled at your heartstrings. “She didn't intend to hurt you, Miss. She was just desperate to make it all stop. Maker knows she's lost too many people to this plague. We all did.”

The infant cooed softly in your lap, his tiny claws gripping your shirt. You frowned deeply. Grief has a weird way of showing itself. It would be difficult to forgive Zaria, but not impossible. The Deputy, for all of his benevolence, did not expect forgiveness from you anytime soon. He could only tell you the truth and let it be as it is.

“Thank you for saving this town, Mando.” were his final words before he left the Crest.

Your heart felt a little heavy for him and his people. That, hopefully, will fade once you leave this planet.

In hyperspace, after you had taken a shower, you lay your tired body to rest. The cot felt smaller than before. Maybe that was because you spent too many hours in the vast icy forest, where everything felt too big and the land stretched wide. Or maybe it was because the Mandalorian lay right behind you, holding you to him in the dark with a gentle palm splayed against your stomach. The heat spills into the fabric of the shirt you wear. It’s his. The one you borrowed on Sorgan.

You’ve been in the cold for too long. Because you happily allowed him to cling to you, his arm firmly chaining you to him. There is no armour attached to his chest or thighs or his head. He took it off long after he found you in the cot. You were glad to breathe in his scent. The soft fabric of his tunic was comforting. But most of all, the sound of his breathing. Steady and certain. Assuring you that every one of your fears will never reach you again.

Although you close your eyes, you refuse to fall asleep. You want to savour this. You want to look back someday and remember this. Remember the way he holds your heart against his. Remember his unwillingness to let go.

It’s almost sad how no one will know how much it means to you. For they will never know how much of this you’ve been denied. You don’t mind that though. As long as the loneliness is no longer something you have to bear, nor the guilt being the factor that cripples you, it’s all right.

The ground can swallow you whole for all you care. It wouldn’t matter. The Mandalorian will be right there with you. Grasping your hand in the dark as you both walk in step toward the light at the end of the tunnel.

“Ner cyra’ika…”

You’re jolted by the rumble of his voice. It is unfiltered, raw. Yet faint, lulling you to an unknown solace. Like a silken touch to your senses. You have yet to get used to it without the modulation of his helmet. It takes you a moment to collect yourself after being called that for the second time in your life. You hope there will be more occasions. “Yes?”

Silence falls over you. You welcome it. You feel his breaths on the back of your neck, his nose gently tracing your skin. He makes you ache and sigh and wish for an eternity spent like this. He is like the moon, high above and caressing you with his gentle light.

“You know you can tell me anything, right?” His tone is soft, relenting. Whatever answer you give will be enough and he won’t push it.

Tears prick the corners of your eyes. Your lashes flutter in the darkness. It comes as no surprise. Of course, he would ask about that.

Always had to have his hands on her–

Taking a shower after that night was nothing short of dreadful. The piping hot water boiled your skin raw and even after that, you still couldn't erase how filthy you felt.

–whether she liked it or not.

Repeating the things Goerge said earlier was not something you want to do at the moment. You were a blink away from reliving it all again. The vile lust of the man who destroyed something in you. It'll never go away.

Please stop it. You’re scaring me.

You will remember that night for as long as you live. That was certain. If there was any way of erasing it entirely from your memory, from your body, from your soul– you would take it in a heartbeat.

It is not meant to reach the surface of the ocean. Yet.

Your fingers lace through his and you try not to choke as you speak softly, “Some things I’m not ready to tell…”

You know it's irrational. He cares for you. He has proven so far too many times for you to count. You should tell him. He won't condemn you. He won’t leave you.

His hand squeezes yours before you feel his lips press against the back of your ear. “Get some rest.”

Heat chafes your skin, but you force your heart to be still. You will not fall asleep in your own tears today. Even as the memories plague you.

Did he hurt you?

He knows the answer now. And so do you. It breaks both of your hearts.

But how incredibly fortunate it is that each half, yours and his, were a perfect fit for each other.

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Masterlist

Chapter Ten, Chapter Eleven, Chapter Thirteen

Taglist:

@groguspawbeans @graciexmarvel @thirddeadlysin @sofasoap @15letthegamesbegin15 @deceiver-of-gods @blub-senpai @ayothatsano @astrolockley @minky77 @rennalouise @sofsofsposts @jreads @dindarasuum @dindjarinsmut @storyarcscribe @fatima-marisa @princesscy4rika @andshewentsplat @hello-th3r3 @janebby @unofficialavenger90 @come-hell-or-eldren-fire @littlemisspascal @princessofclovers @jaguarthecatt @zanzann @sandinthemachine @darkenwolfie @gram-cracker24 @taro-666 @sgt-morgan @lexloon @djarinsstuff @tragerlover @uncoveredsun @emiemiemiii @lordhavemurthy @frogtits1 @midsommar-nights @yeeteth-the-raven @jellybeanstacey0519 @defibrillator7 @mildlyhopeless @tanzthompson @meandorla @iloveshawn @your-slutty-gf @atiffliz @crazypaine @intense-sneezing-reads @potenzel @sana-li @meofary

[castiellesbian]

Did motw episodes because obviously mytharc ones tend to be forgettable/blur into one another

[finchers-ipad]

Still watchin Hannibal? It’s great! Hannibal and Halt and catch fire are my comfort/favourite shows ✨ Peace

yes!! i’m currently on S3 EP3 me it’s sooo good! i’m getting through it really slowly though because i prioritise movies over it basically but i’m getting close to finishing it! it has quickly become one of my fav shows the cinematography is so beautiful it’s insane.

hoping to finish it soon (i basically have the whole thing spoiled for me anyway because of tiktok edits and random things i see on tumblr lmao)!! but i think i’m going to watch ‘mindhunter’ afterwards!!

[theninjazebra]

As someone who has watched too much tv for a long time i thought i should share with the group.

TV recs for the upcoming drought:

Some of these are harder to find, the tone and quality vary wildly, they're in no specific order. I tried for not too obscure, but not too obvious. Some are still airing, some are 20 yrs old. I swear I have a life.

Slings and Arrows. Early 2000s Canadian dramedy about theatre and shakespear. Fun without being shallow, aged ok, lovely performances, great writing. nuclear grade comfort watching.

Halt and Catch Fire. 2014 - 2017, US drama. Follows four characters through the 80s tech industry. First time I got the hype around Lee Pace. S1 is ok, but nothing special, s2 is a lot more interesting but kinda goes round in a circle. S3 and 4 and some of the best tv I've ever seen.

Somebody Somewhere. This is actually a new show, but has 2 seasons out if u want a gentle but never shallow comedy. Fills my sad gay heart with joy. And if want more new tv with middle aged gays Deadloch is streaming on amazon atm.

The Expanse. Finished recently. The sci fi I've always wanted. Big and scary and wonderful and pew pew pew space battles and adventure. Balances the grim with a surprising amount of hope? Has repeated themes of redemption. Also a whole book series should u need more.

This Is England. UK drama. A film and 3 mini series set from 1983 through to 1990. Grim, sad af, also funnyand sweet? And characters that I love. The start of my undying love for Vicky McClure. Big ol CW for violence, sexual violence, and era specific racism (esp the first film). Very good, but very hard tv.

Kingdom. 2014. Can be a pain to find because so many shows are called Kingdom. About MMA fighters having drama. Also families, mental health, addiction, etc. Excellent performances. Both a very dumb and very sweet, painful show.

Animal Kingdom. Legit only watched it because I was searched Kingdom posts and AK was out around the same time. Awful family having drama and heists. Adaptation of an Aussie film into a southern California TV show. Kind of a mess? but very compelling mess.

Obligatory Succession (Kardashians for annoying people, aka me. I am the annoying person. this is my perfect tv show), The Bear, (hospo stress and family grief show) and Severance (people talk about workplace horror, but tbh it also gives big mega church horror vibes too)- new shows that live up to the hype, esp if you like sad people. I don't think they really need recs, but i really liked them.

The Thick of It. 2000s UK political comedy? Tragedy? Though these days it looking fuckin utopian compared to UK politics now. Feels a bit like a partial villain origin story for Succession. I like how sad and broken hearted it is.

Outrageous Fortune. 2000s nz dramedy that is the source of my love of family crime drama. Aged badly in places, but still very good character drama. Also, for The Boys fans, Antony Starr at his absolute best. It's a big nostalgia fest for me now. Cheryl West is a forever fav.

Justified. 2010 - 2016ish. i'm lazy i'm not looking stuff up. Yes a cop show, yes a dad show, but also rock solid tv writing and timothy olyphant in a hat. I've watched it so many times, and every time it rewards. and yes, am watching Justified City Primeval atm.

White Collar. A dumb, total fantasy art crimes and capers show. Shit, but if you need to not think and also have Matt Bomer do a shirtless painting montage for vague plot reasons then oh boy there is no other.

Being Human UK. A ghost, a vampire and a werewolf share a flat. it's sweet and agonising and 10+ years later I still love these characters so much.

Legion. 2017 - 2019. Why make tv comic adaptations that are trying for realistic and boring? When they could all be like this? Why make anything that isn't as visually interesting as this?

Doom Patrol - same for doom patrol - superhero tv that cut out the boring bits and just went for the weird and painful. I read a couple of random doom patrols years ago and was so surprised and delighted and loved them. the tv show has the same effect.

The Boys. new, and still going, as far as I know. but two kiwi leads means under nz law i have to be a fan? also it's awful, pulpy vicious popcorn viewing. appeals to the shithead 12 yr old in me. yes, it's vicious anti corporate thing is deeply ironic for an amazon show, but considering amazon saved the expanse with no sense of irony at all I figure take all their money and keep yelling.

Preacher. Another comics adaption. The Boy's weirder, less obscene, more disturbing cousin. Tulip is another forever fav tv character.

Banshee. Continuing the tradition of heth and i starting dumb Dude TV and then getting overly attached. kinda pulpy trash, but if you can stomach the violence it's surprisingly good.

All Star Treks. I love them so much. They're so weird, and uneven, and dumb, and they're all the best and I love them.

One season wonders -

Trust. about the John Paul Getty III kidnapping. also about italian countryside.

State of Play. UK. the tv show, not the film.

I dunno. I could do a whole separate post for sit coms and brit coms and the weirder, more obscure shows and movies, but ffs this is so long.

[annakie]

A List of Shows I’ve Watched So Far This Year

...and a couple of sentences about each one.  Also some movies and podcasts, too.

I started keeping a list around the time the entertainment outlets started publishing their “Best of 2021″ lists near the end of the year so I would be sure to catch some good TV since I wasn’t sure what to watch half the time.  So this list is partially from those lists, partially stuff I found in other ways like via tumblr gifsets on my dash, some things I stumbled upon, had already been watching, and some just because I was subscribed to whatever service a show was on and thought “Hm that looks interesting.”

Tried keeping track of movies and podcasts, too. Gonna do video games in a different post.  Currently I have 34 shows on my “To Watch / Catch up on” list, and always adding more.

This is in no particular order at all.

Taskmaster (& rewatched a lot of it.) - OK I immediately lied.  I moved this to the top because I honestly believe everyone should watch Taskmaster.  It is the most joyful thing I’ve ever watched, I love it so, so much.  Everyone I have convinced to watch the show has loved it.  It curbs anxiety, it always always always makes me laugh, and there’s a lot of it to watch. 

Taskmaster is a British... panel/game show, sort of, where five comedians/entertainers are at the whims of the Taskmaster (Greg Davis) and his assistant (Alex Horne, who is the true genius behind the show) and do ABSOLUTELY ABSURD tasks to earn his approval.  The same cast stays for an entire season (early on 5 or 6 episodes, then 8, now 10.)  Greg scores their efforts, and at the end of the season, the winner takes home... a bust of Greg’s head.  Mostly bragging rights and a spot on the Champion of Champions special that happens after every 5th season.

I cannot express how much I love Taskmaster. You can just watch most of it for free on Youtube.  Series 1 Episode 1 is a fine place to start, or maybe try season 4 for people you likely already know.  Anyway, that’s the sales pitch.  Everything else is just my opinions.  Watch Taskmaster, unless you hate fun and don’t need a distraction right now?

I started watching it near the end of last year, and then synced up with @ahab99 and we watched the rest of it together.  It’s been one of my favorite things to do this year, and the fandom is great.  My favorite seasons are 4, 5, 7, 9, 12 and 13, but I love them ALL.

Kongen Befaler (Taskmaster Norway) S1 & 2 - I love Taskmaster so much I started watching the Norwegien version, which is slow going because I have to be in the right mind to watch something with subtitles, but the Norwegian version is very nearly as good as the original.  Highly recommend it if you’ve finished with the original.  I haven’t yet gotten to the New Zealand version yet because I’m waiting for ahab99 to be ready, but I know it’s also considered to be great.

The Great S1 & 2 - Speaking of great... watched this as it was on Alan Sepinwall’s best of 2021, and I trust him about quality of things most of the time.  Enjoyed The Great a lot, not one of my favorite things of the year, but thought the leads were very good and also Sacha Dhawan was a nice surprise.  It’s got a lot more grossout humor than you were probably expecting. But I’ll watch S3.

Halt and Catch Fire S1-4 - I’d watched S1 and the first half of S2 when it was airing, then fell behind, and my DVR broke, and I never caught back up.  But Sepinwall had mentioned it somewhere in a review I read recently and put it back on the list.  It’s a show that got stronger every season.  S1 was really trying way too hard to be Mad Men But In the 80′s And About Tech, once they figured out the characters in S2, toned down Lee Pace’s character and made the “mousey wife” not so mousey, it got amazing.  Loved it so much.

Station Eleven - The first few eps aired last year, and I watched it in real time, but the last three aired this year.  This is one of the best things I watched not only this year but... ever.  A story of love and hope after a world-ending pandemic.  You would think “I don’t need a pandemic story right now” but yeah, you need this story.  One of the most satisfying moments I’ve experienced in fiction near the end of the series, too.  So good.  Highly rec.  This also means Mackenzie Davis was one of the leads of... the last two things I talked about and she deserves all the awards.

Hacks S1 & 2 - I love Jean Smart and had been meaning to get around to this one for awhile, so I got to it like a few weeks before S2 aired.  Really funny and powerful story of two women in different generations who were there when they needed it the most.  A definite rec.

Starstruck S1 & 2 - I watched this not only because Sepinwall recommended it, but because it was created by & stars Rose Matafeo, who is on series 9 of Taskmaster and who I adore because of it.  Really funny,  great story, a little frustrating, but well worth it.

Our Flag Means Death (3 times) - Thanks to tumblr for all the gifsets, and finding out Guz Khan (who is in S12 of Taskmaster) is in this show, I gave in and watched it.  I didn’t watch it the first time til the week after it ended, but then I signed up for HBO Max to support the show and watched it three times in one month.  Loved it.  Can’t wait for S2.

Severance - Came for Adam Scott, stayed for holy shit what is going on here why do I have to wait week to week for more?  I NEED ANSWERS NOW.  Creepy, bleak, and very, very intriguing.  Am on the edge of my seat for season 2.  Another one of the best things I’ve seen this year/in awhile.

The Expanse (Some in 2021, some in 2022) - One of those shows I’d been meaning to get into for a long time and I knew if I could stick with it eventually I’d love it. I had tried the first episode a couple of times over the last few years and didn’t like it but... I was determined this time and stuck with it.  I have LOVED Shohreh Aghdashloo for a long time and she got me to stick around.  I honestly didn’t love the show until season 2 or so, but at some point I was all in, and was sad when I finished, though a couple of the seasons were weaker than others for sure, and learning the circumstances behind the removal of one of the main characters, who was another of my favorites, put a small damper on it.  But I’m glad I finished it.  Someone make a S7. :(

Upload S2 - Watched S1 and thought it was decent, S2 was... definitely affected by the Pandemic filming.  It was OK, but not great.  The season finale especially seemed cut off too soon.  But I’ll keep watching.

Doctor Who Specials (New Year’s special and The Sea Devils) - New Years special was great, other one was okay. It’s nice that they’re addressing 13/Yaz.  Even though, ya know, it’s almost regeneration time.  There’s a lot about the 13 era I have liked, but also a lot of wasted potential.  And I’m not a fan of the Timeless Child thing... have seen few who are, though. 

I also rewatched the Husbands of River Song because the Taskmaster himself, Greg Davis, plays King Hydroflax in this episode.

Critical Role S3 + Calamity - Been keeping up with Critical Role still, though sometimes I fall behind a week or two.  I have been enjoying S3 a lot, probably more than I enjoyed the first arc of S2.  Having Ashley back full time is great, and I like the new characters.  Been staying far, far away from the fandom and the drama, though.

Calamity was amazing.  I know I posted a thing about maybe not watching but I did because of how everyone was talking about it, and it was everything people said it was.  I cried through most of the finale.  Thanks to @thequeenofmyownscreen for crying with me. :)

I have very much wanted to get into Dimension 20 since before Calamity and really want to now, but have yet to find the time.

Breaking Bad Rewatch (Just season 2.5 to the end) - After watching the first half of S6 of Better Call Saul, and hearing the second half is going to have more relevance to Breaking Bad, I went back and re-watched BB from the first Saul episode to the end, since I hadn’t seen it since it aired. For like the S2 and some of the S3 part I was fast forwarding through a lot of like, Hank & Marie scenes or parts that were a lot of people staring at each other, but after awhile I just settled in and re-enjoyed the ride.  Worth it.

Better Call Saul S6 - As noted above, have been keeping up with BCS the whole time.  Love it.  Can’t wait to see how it ends.  DON’T KILL KIM WEXLER, PLEASE SHOW.

(BBC) Ghosts S1 - 3 - Three of the main characters have been contestants on Taskmaster (Charlotte Richie - S11, Lolly Adofope - S4 and Katy Wix - S9) plus at least two guest stars (Jessica Knappet - S7, Bridget Christie - S13.)  So after learning this plus seeing some gifsets on my tumblr dash and seeing it was on HBO Max, I watched.  Really enjoyed it, highly recommend. 

(CBS) Ghosts - While looking up info for BBC Ghosts, I saw CBS had brought the show to America.  I thought “Well, let’s see how bad they fucked this up” and dove in, intending to watch just the first episode or three.  I finished the (currently only, S2 is incoming) season in like a day and a half.  They did a good job making both the living married couple and the ghosts American, retaining some flavor of the BBC version without it being a direct ripoff aside from the pilot and one ghost being a near carbon copy of the British counterpart.  I think they did a good job making it their own.  The Brit version is probably still better, but I don’t regret watching both and will watch the next seasons of both, too.

(New) Kids in the Hall - I was in High School when the Kids in the Hall was originally airing on Comedy Central here in the US, and things like “I’m Crushing Your Head” were as cool as Wayne’s World quotes.  Wasn’t sure what to expect about the revival but I really loved it, a lot.  Be warned if you watch it there is old man full frontal in uh, the first episode, lol.  But seriously, it was great.  And I’m flabbergasted and mad that it wasn’t nominated for an Emmy.

Only Murders in the Building S2 - I think S1 aired last year?  Watching S2 now.  What a delight this show is.  As an Old, I grew up loving Steve Martin and Martin Short and they’re amazing here.  I had no idea who Selena Gomez is before this show, and now I adore her.  Enjoying S2 a lot.

For All Mankind S3 - I think I watched S1 & S2 at the end of last year, and except for that mindbogglingly terrible subplot at the end of the 2nd season, I really loved it.  S3 has been likewise great so far.  Even though the stupid subplot continues into S3.  I’m a Margot and a Dani stan.

Mare of Easttown - When this was airing last year it felt like everyone was talking about it and how great it was, so I got around to watching it.  It was, indeed, very good, with a resolution that was surprising but didn’t feel like came out of nowhere.  Also more Jean Smart = good.

The White Lotus - I mean, I have HBO Max right now and this is another show people kept talking about when it was airing, so I watched it.  Eehhh, it was okay.   It was a good takedown of white people at their most white-people-ness.  Don’t think it deserves the Emmy love it’s getting except for the guy who played the hotel manager.

The Umbrella Academy S3 - I keep up with TUA when it’s on, and enjoy it. Enjoyed S3 as well.  Not as much as S2 but hey, enough to look forward to S4.  Mostly glad this season Luther got over Allison, but Allison this season was uh... not great.

Stranger Things S4 - Just like most everyone else, watched ST4 and I did love it, though the criticisms of it is pretty valid, too.  NGL, got pretty bored with the Eleven subplot in the first half and fast forwarded through it as I thought it was very obvious Henry = Vecna and it felt like otherwise we were rehashing a lot of other stuff.  And the Russian Prison subplot could have been cut way down, too.  But still, love Stranger Things.  Can’t wait for S5.

Murderville - Will Arnett’s improv / cop comedy.  Swung WILDLY in quality depending on who the guest of the week was.  They were right to put Conan first and Kumail Nanjiani last so it started and ended on its strongest episodes.  I adore Annie Murphy but it was uncomfortable watching her stumble through her episode.  But I finished it and would watch a S2.

Resident Alien S2 - I think S1 was stronger so far, but still loving this show, and Alan Tudyk is great, so is his co-lead Sara Tomko.  Could do with less Mayor and Mayor’s Wife who’s character’s names I can never ever remember, and more of everyone else.

Barry S2 & 3 - I watched S1 as it aired and never got around to picking up S2 or 3 until a few weeks ago.  It’s very good, and very violent.  Can’t believe they’re still gonna do a S4 after that S3 ending.

The Flight Attendant S1(ish) - I watched the first episode and thought... I am not into this enough to watch the rest of the season but I do want to know how it ends.  So I skipped right over to the last two episodes.  Maybe I’ll do the same with S2.

Gentleman Jack - Was interested in this from tumblr gifsets.  Literally watched the first episode and a couple of hours later the cancellation was announced, lol.  Overall, I enjoyed it but I hope Suranne Jones’ back is OK because she carried this show for all sixteen episodes.  Anything focused on Anne Lister was great.  But they could not write a subplot of side characters to SAVE A LIFE.  The cast was great, (I mean they had Five himself Peter Davison!) with what they were given.  But so many subplots either were messy, boring or went nowhere and were dropped without resolution.  Still glad I watched it but... it feels like only Lister/Walker ever found its footing and everything else was... not there.  I’d have kept watching, but not super upset it’s likely not going to happen.

Star Wars

Book of Boba Fett - I think I liked this series more than most when it was focusing on Boba Fett but also like... the criticism was fair.  And yeah it felt more like a sub-show of The Mandalorian rather than its own thing in the end.  It was quite cool seeing the whole gang, minus Cobb, fighting together in the finale.  And also uh, this may be blasphemous, but I am slightly disappointed they brought Grogu back?  I think they are victims to their own success if they don’t think the show can survive without Grogu, whereas I was kinda looking forward to Mando on his own.  But I’ll enjoy Mando S3 either way, I think.

Even this review of BoBF became a review of The Mandalorian. *facepalm*

Obi-Wan Kenobi - Yeah it was messy blah blah but I really really loved Obi-Wan.  We’d been waiting for Obi’s return forever and I think they did a great job making the show emotionally resonate.  It was so great seeing Hayden back, too.  And it also adds a little more emotional weight to ANH how too, with Obi-Wan having a relationship with Leia.

Star Trek

I watched all the Star Treks. Yesterday was the first NON-STAR TREK Thursday of this ENTIRE YEAR and I AM MAD ABOUT IT.  Luckily Lower Decks S3 starts next month.

Prodigy S1.0 - There’s still more Prodigy S1 coming, but I am enjoying this show more than I thought I would, grading on the “It’s for children!” curve.  NGL I am most invested in the Real Janeway & Chakotay stuff but the kids and Holo-Janeway are also great.  Excited for more.  And the Kobiyashi Maru episode was a fave, as well as the 1.0 finale.

(Rewatch) Picard S1 & then Picard S2 - I forgot most of what had happened in S1 so I rewatched it.  I like it more than most people did, but I mean... there’s like no Star Trek I don’t like.  S2 started strong, and I liked the ending, and a lot of what they did in the middle stumbled with some great moments and a few not so great.  There were definite parts of S2 that... didn’t work.  But it was also fun.  Plus my Teenage Dream Crush (lol) showed up, which was a huge plus for me.  And uhm... I am absolutely feral about what’s going to happen in S3.

Discovery S4 - I think Discovery had gotten stronger every season, and I again, have enjoyed every season.  I do definitely agree I wish every season wasn’t universe-ending threats, and the bridge crew doesn’t get enough to do, but I mean... that doesn’t at all ruin my enjoyment of the show. I thought the universe-ending threat was at least new and original this year.

Strange New Worlds S1 - Ummm... yeah.  It’s great.  I’m mad about how great it is.  It’s not my favorite of the New Treks (Lower Decks is probably my fave) but I do get why so many people say this is their favorite.  REMEMBER THOUGH... we wouldn’t have this Pike, Spock and Una without Discovery S2.

--

MST3K

Mystery Science Theater 3000 S13 + Specials - I Kickstarted MST3k season 13 for uhhhh... more than I probably should have.  I am really loving Season 13 so far.  Jonah is great as always, I already adore Emily and her bots, and having Joel back in the riffing seat with J. Elvis by his side mashed the nostalgia button so hard.  All the episodes have been hilarious, though some are more faves than others, but that’s normal.  Really enjoying the “special events” too.  Having something to do like, every other Friday by appointment has been nice, too.  The chat is very friendly and actually funny.  Ready to support them for as much as I can when S14 talk comes around.

The Mads Are Back - MST3k-related, Frank Coniff and Trace Belaiu have been doing monthly riffing livestreams since July 2020 and I’ve been to them all.  So another monthly Tuesday night appointment.  They also do a guest interview after each, which has been delightful.  Was a big help early in the Pandemic to have another monthly “appointment” to look forward to, and I’m glad they’re keep on keeping on with the livestreams especially since Frank’s health problems.  And I love that nearly all the old cast plus some of the new MST3k cast has come and hung out in the post-show with them. <3

Along with that, just rando, MST3K and Rifftrax episodes whenever I feel like it, often as white noise when I’m gaming or working.

--

Trashy Realtiy TV - I make no apologies.  I don’t watch a lot of reality TV but I have watched these.

The Circle S4 - I just lilke the Circle, OK? Love is Blind S2 - It’s a dose of drama that I usually avoid. 70% of Love is Blind Japan S1 - Wanted to see the differences. I watched the pods and vacation part, skipped most of the “We’re back at our real lives!” episodes and just went and saw who made it to the altar and who said I do.

JUST STARTED:

The Other Two - Haven’t finished yet, but just wrapped up S1.  A Sepinwall rec I wouldn’t have checked out otherwise.  The Entertainment Industry Takedown stuff is kinda funny but nothing we haven’t seen before.  What has made this show work so far is that yeah the mom + adult kids are very dysfunctional on their own but they love each other and their little brother a lot and that glue makes the show worth it for me.

Blood and Treasure S2 - I would not watch this show most likely but Mark Gagliardi is one of the main stars (probably #3 on the call sheet I’d guess) and when a guy you kinda know is on TV, you usually wanna watch that guy being on TV.  It’s a fun cheesy National Treasure like romp.  This season was filmed in 2020 and JUST NOW BEING RELEASED and only on Paramount+ so we’re probably not gonna get more.  The first two episodes released just this week so, we’ll see how the rest of the season goes.  Mark’s character has his own subplot this season though so I’m excited for that.

Movies

TBH I don’t watch a lot of movies?  There’s too many shows to watch.  But I have watched these in the last 6 months...

Everything Everywhere All At Once - Everyone was talking about it so I wanted to experience it.  As amazing as everyone said.  I still think about it often. And get Absolutely Story of a Girl stuck in my head.

The Batman - Not a huge Batman fan, (like it’s FINE but whatever) but wanted to see Pattison’s take on it.  Thought the movie was a little too long, and I came away with no strong feelings other than Pattison and Dano were both very good, and was excited to see Izzy Hands and Irving from Severance in the movie :v

Star Trek The Motion Picture - I’ve seen this like a half dozen times, and am always amazed at how many reaction shots of the cast’s face they padded the film with.  Wanted to see the new enhanced visuals and cut.  At least what they were gazing at for 15 minutes of the film’s runtime looked great.  I need to finish rewatching the rest of the TOS movies.  I’ve been saying that since I finished my All-ST Rewatch in 2020.  SO I guess I didn’t actually FINISH that rewatch.  Hm.

The Lost City - I truly don’t know why I watched this movie but I had finished whatever show I had been watching and didn’t want to start a new one yet so I watched this for no reason.  Cast was good, movie was cheesy but also fun in a Romancing the Stone sort of way. Not great, but fun.  Daniel Radcliffe makes a great villain.

Suicide Squad - I’m... trying... to watch the DC movies.  I’ve only seen the two Wonder Woman movies, Batman vs.Superman and that first Superman movie, all when they came out.  I’ve heard the second one and the Peacemaker show are great though so I’m trying to shove my way through the rest to that.  Do I have to watch the Snyder cut?  Anyway, this was fine, but felt like it was trying way too hard to be cool. Was entertaining at least.

Podcasts

I haven’t been listening to a lot of podcasts lately, tbh.  Mostly I listen in the last hour before bed when I’m playing on my Switch and hanging out with Patchy. 

The Taskmaster Podcast and Taskmaster: The People's Podcast - Yep been listening to the companion podcasts to Taskmater, too.  The original TM podcast is hosted by Series 9 contestant Ed Gamble and it’s fantastic because he’s SUCH a fan of the show, and he’s a great interviewer.  It’s a recap podcast, of the current episode if a series is airing or past series when one’s not.

The People’s Podcast is hosted by S8 contestant Lou Saunders + a guy who’s a fan (and a writer) who keeps meticulous stats of the show.  Though there’s a bit of episode discussion it’s mostly a celebration of the fandom.  Episodes are a bit more hit or miss depending on who the fan-guest is, but it’s a good effort and usually still entertaining.  Especially loved them interviewing Norwegian Taskmaster Assistant Olli Wermskog <3

Hello From the Magic Tavern S4 + Patreon Bonus Content - I’ve been a fan of HFTMT since about episode 24 (When Craig Cackowski guest starred.)  Through the years sometimes I’ve kept up, sometimes I’ve fallen months behind, but I have listened to it all, including the spinoff podcasts and signed up for the pateron on day 1.  Still love these guys after all these years.  If you want to listen to three guys and guests worldbuild a silly magical world, here you go.  There’s like 400 episodes including spinoffs and Patreon content, you won’t run out any time soon.

The Delta Flyers - Technically as I’m a Pateron patron I watch the episodes online, not listen to them as a podcast.  This is Robert Duncan McNeil (Tom Paris) and Garrett Wang (Harry Kim’s) Voyager rewatch podcast, that they started as a pandemic project, and they’re now in season five.  I really enjoy their takes, even when I don’t agree with them, and there’s so much BTS content.  Also the bonus content includes really great interviews with the rest of the cast pretty often, guest stars, directors, writers, crew, producers etc etc.  I pledge at a mid-teir level now and don’t regret it at all.  I usually watch while working, and sometimes I get a few episodes behind.  And also sometimes I have to rewatch the Voyager episode before listening to the podcast episode.  But very worth it.  Going to miss this one when they’re done.

The “To Watch / Catch up On” list: Counterpart You're the Worst Miracle Workers Zoey's Extradordinary Playlist Pen15 Derry Girls In Treatment We Are Lady Parts Girls 5eva Squid Game Succession Reservation Dogs Evil I May Destroy You Love Life Shadow and Bone Yellowjackets New Girl Wheel of Time Lovecraft Country Atlanta Watchmen Tuca and Bertie Sharp Objects Devs Yellowstone Gaslit Abbot Elementary Shining Girls The Orville

Catchup: Cobra Kai Downton Abbey (last season or two + movies) Rutherford Falls S2

I am taking suggestions.

And then there are a bunch of upcoming shows or shows with seasons that aired in like 2021 that I haven’t mentioned here to watch like, the Lord of the Rings show, and S2 of Leverage: Redemption not currently on this list that I will watch as they come out.

No idea how someone with an actual life squeezes in more show time.  I’m still like 90% in quarantine still (thx immune system) so... at least I’ve got the time.

[chernayavidua]

Tag Nine People You'd Like to Get to Know Better!

𝐅𝐀𝐕𝐎𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐄 𝐂𝐎𝐋𝐎𝐑(𝐒): almost any shade of purple, dark reds, dark blue and very specific shades of green.

𝐅𝐀𝐕𝐎𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐄 𝐅𝐋𝐀𝐕𝐎𝐑(𝐒): spicy and sweet. obsessed with adding gochujang to most of my meals. current sweet obsession are these protein bars that literally taste like candy.

𝐅𝐀𝐕𝐎𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐄 𝐌𝐔𝐒𝐈𝐂: according to my spotify wrapped this year it was karol g, shakira, juanes, becky g and florence + the machine. i will forever love paramore but i haven't been listening to them as often as i used to bc music in spanish has been my current obsession. i got back into listening to pvris and in this moment.

𝐋𝐀𝐒𝐓 𝐒𝐎𝐍𝐆: can i get it by adele

𝐅𝐀𝐕𝐎𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐄 𝐌𝐎𝐕𝐈𝐄(𝐒): no reservations, burnt, miss sloane, molly's game, captain america: the winter soldier, interstellar, the batman trilogy, atomic blonde, john wick, among a ton of others

𝐋𝐀𝐒𝐓 𝐌𝐎𝐕𝐈𝐄: sitting in bars with cake (i was freaking bamboozled by this one! i thought it was going to be like a rom-com or something happy but i ended up crying my eyes out instead.)

𝐅𝐀𝐕𝐎𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐄 𝐒𝐄𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐒: law and order: svu, ncis (but the seasons where my favs are still in it), and a few others

𝐋𝐀𝐒𝐓 𝐒𝐄𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐒: the newsroom, this one novela, the rest of echo 3 i didn't watch last year, along with a few others for world building purposes

𝐂𝐔𝐑𝐑𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐋𝐘 𝐖𝐀𝐓𝐂𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐆: monarch: legacy of monsters, slow horses s3, this one other novela, criminal intent s1, justified: city primeval, halt & catch fire

𝐂𝐔𝐑𝐑𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐋𝐘 𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐈𝐍𝐆: abnormal psychology book because finals rip

𝐂𝐔𝐑𝐑𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐋𝐘 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐊𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐎𝐍: creating a mashup timeline for this blog along with finishing up bios for a few npcs

lifted from: @esoterium (ily!) tagging: YOU reading this !

[jeffersonhairpie]

Anyway finished Halt and Catch Fire tonight and I think Donna’s final big idea was that she and Cameron should make out for three hours and then leave California together never to return

[mac-mcdonald]

like this show has just been fucking me up left and right and I don't want it to end 😭😭😭

[oddishfeeling]

lee pace as joe mcmallian in to halt & catch fire

[ohyayaseance]

one day will I have the emotional strength to continue my rewatch of Halt and Catch Fire? god, I hope so.

[haltandcatchfiretothemax]

Halt and Catch Fire (2014-2017) season 3 episode 7 //

Lessons In Chemistry (2023) episode 8

[billy-crudup]

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Guys, the last thing that we need to do right now is hop in the car and race out to the parking lot of an empty stadium before rock ’n’ roll is even invented. Hey, guys, we are early. And I'm not talking “Let's all just run down to the IHOP and grab some silver dollar pancakes” early. We are years and years early on this.

Halt and Catch Fire: Season 3 (2016)

[piovascosimo]

hacf | cam x donna 2.05

[critgemhero]

NO ONE TOLD ME SHAGGY WAS A PART OF THE STREAM OF MANY EYES OMG WHAT

[therealraewest]

Small brain: cam/joe and gordon/donna

Big brain: donna/cam and joe/gordon

Galaxy brain: cam/donna/gordon/joe