#hamslicer

[hearts-hunger]

i think maybe we all agree on this but i'm curious: tag with your lane, the lane you chose for the poll, and why you think that lane deserves a trophy for being braver than any us marine

[trip-the-cal-fantastic]

TW: This post is in no way, shape, or form meant to cause emotional harm to anyone who may have experienced sexual harassment and/or abuse.

Another TW: H***** W******* or, affectionately, hamslice.

Yes, that is a shitty thing that may or may not have happened (I hope to God she isn't making shit up because that's fucked up).

But Sam must not be home to give her any attention.

Like, dayum. You "love" the outdoors so much. Go sit in the grass and write another bad-at-best song.

For someone who skipped TWO WHOLE ASS GRADES, you'd think she'd be smarter.

[readyforthegarden]

DANNY WAVE SAM KEYS

[trip-the-cal-fantastic]

I like to think of hamslice in equivalent to Yoko Ono.

Sammy, sweetie, you can do so SO much better.

Is there any way she can promote her music with out using someone else’s tragedy to do so?

[zeke-fanfucs]

OKAY OKAY BIG IDEA AND I LOVE TO SEE SOMEONE DRAW THIS!!!

⸻

“Bastard vs. Zombie: Gamer AU”

HIPSWITCH

• Streamer name: “SwitchShot”

• Content: Western-style and survival games—Red Dead Redemption 2, Hunt: Showdown, Weird West

• Vibe: Cowboy hat-wearing, drawling commentary, always rides off into the sunset (usually after accidentally shooting his horse). Chat loves him for his moral dilemmas and soft rants about the nature of justice in video games. He’s got a loyal following called “The Switchgang” who spam tumbleweed emojis whenever he starts streaming.

• Favorite quote: “There’s a code to every outlaw. Mine just happens to include lootin’ and petting dogs.”

MAHATMA & ATTILA

• Shared channel: “ScalpelTwins”

• Genre: Medical horror, grotesque anatomy puzzle games (Autopsy Simulator, Body of Evidence, Surgeon Simulator 2)

• Setup: Mahatma tries to calmly analyze and explain the medical aspects while Attila—either over his shoulder or forcibly hijacking the stream—insults the game, the devs, the players, and sometimes the viewers. Their fans love the twin dynamic.

• Mahatma is the soft-spoken host who talks about body horror like he’s giving a lecture, sipping tea while removing a virtual lung.

• Attila screams things like, “That’s not where the liver goes, you pretzel-brained fucker!” and throws snacks at the webcam.

• Their fans are either med students or chaos lovers.

ALBUS

• Streamer name: “RagePill”

• Game of choice: Elden Ring, Dark Souls, and the occasional Monster Hunter

• Style: Absolute gremlin. Always makes cursed characters with names like “Hamslice” or “DaddyRuin” and gives them tragic backstories. He beats impossible bosses shirtless and with a fork, then turns around and gives dating advice like “Just parry their emotional distance, bro.”

• Drinks mid-stream. Half the chat doesn’t know if he’s serious. He probably doesn’t either.

• Once got banned for telling a boss, “You fight like my last ex and just as disappointing.”

• People tune in for the unhinged chaos, but stay for the bizarre wisdom hidden beneath.

KARMOR

• Streamer name: “Kamor.exe”

• Genre: Still discovering. Plays chill indie games, occasionally ventures into big-name titles like Stardew Valley, Subnautica, or Outer Wilds.

• Vibe: Soft, awkward, very “just chatting with lo-fi music,” but when he gets scared in horror games, he lets out tiny, startled “eep!” sounds.

• Genuinely unsure why people watch him but is slowly developing a fanbase drawn to his sincerity.

• Occasionally gets raided by Hipswitch or Mahatma, and it sends him into a mild panic every time.

• Known for asking “How do you jump?” far too often.

⸻

FAITH

• Streamer name: “SisterSpatula”

• Content: Cozy cooking streams with soft lighting, relaxing music, and gentle narration—her stream is like digital tea.

• Signature: Every so often, little Kerano pops in with her own “child genius” wisdom like, “If the oven beeps twice, it’s lying,” or “You don’t need a recipe if you have hands and God.”

• Video Games: She occasionally plays Stardew Valley, Spiritfarer, or wholesome indies.

• Special Feature: She’s part of the “Unholy Trinity” game night with Albus and Devlin, where the three of them co-op horror or survival games. Faith is scarily good. The boys begged her to join because they sucked at it and screamed too much.

• Her followers: lovingly called “the Kitchen Choir.”

• Favorite quote: “Just add love… and butter. But mostly butter.”

⸻

KERANO

• Not a streamer, but a recurring star on Faith’s channel

• Known for saying unnervingly wise or cursed things during cooking streams or while Faith plays games.

• Occasionally grabs the controller and wins without knowing what she’s doing.

• Meme status: her saying “Maybe the ghost is just lonely” during a Phasmophobia stream became viral.

• Once beat Albus in Mario Kart and said, “He drives like he does in real life.”

⸻

DEVLIN

• Streamer name: “PatchMeUp”

• Content: Engineering/maker streams—welds, 3D prints, or rigs bizarre contraptions like a flamethrower toaster or a potato-based motion sensor.

• Games: Streams techy survival/horror games like Dead Space, Astroneer, and Five Nights at Freddy’s (which Albus dared him to play).

• Dragged Albus in to test his DIY projects live, such as:

• The “Taser Gauntlet of Encouragement”

• A chair that ejects when you lie

• An automatic snack launcher (still in beta, launched a whole sandwich at his wall)

• Stream Vibe: chaotic genius, tech gremlin energy. Uses words no one understands. Regularly electrocuted.

• Fans: Tech nerds and people who enjoy watching someone almost destroy their own apartment.

• Quote: “This is technically safe. If you ignore the voltage curve.”

[tsaritza-mika]

I can't have been the only one who thought of this when that patch went thru... XDDDD

Shadowheart: NO! NO!! MY ACCOUNTABILI-BUDDY!! Gale: Well that doesn’t make you look very good, now does it, Shadow? Shadowheart: I LOST HER WHEN LIGHTS WENT OUT!! I SWEAR!! Karlach: Oof, really doesn’t look good for you, Shadow... Orin: IT WAS ME!! I DID IT!! Gortash: Actually, I can confirm that Shadow was circling around Admin yelling for Alfira Orin: I’M THE IMPOSTER!! Halsin: Quiet Orin, we all know you’re Jester this round; how do you know Shadow’s innocent Enver? Gortash: Because I could hear her from Cams Tav: I can actually confirm that, I passed by him in Cams before lights went out Shadowheart: Ugh... So where was the body, Tav? Tav: I found Alfira’s sweet, little hamslice down in Speci~ Astarion: I hate to say it Tav, but you’re looking pretty sus to me. Where the hells were you in all this? I haven’t seen you all last round! Wyll: Says the guy who’s likely the Imposter... Astarion: Wh- WYLl!! WHAT THE FUCK!? Wyll: Oh don’t act so shocked, we all know it’s you, Astarion Astarion: I- SERIOUSLY!? GALE! Back me up here! We did lights together! Gale: ...uh... Astarion: I WAS RIGHT THERE!! Tav: You were acting pretty sus that round, Astarion... Astarion: I HAVEN’T EVEN SEEN YOU THE WHOLE ROUND TAV!! Orin: THAT’S BECAUSE IT WAS ME!! Astarion: Oh for fucks sake, Orin...! Gortash: Yes, yes, sure, Orin. You killed Alfira, we get it. Now sit down and shut up while we blame the literal bloodsucker Astarion: Thank yo-wait! WHAT!? Karlach: I don’t want to think badly of you Astarion, but I haven’t seen you the whole round either, so I dunno... Halsin: I am so disappointed Astarion... Astarion: WHY AM I THE IMPOSTER WHEN NOBODY HAS GIVEN ANY PROOF!? Shadowheart: Astarion how could you!? Honestly! Astarion: I FUCKING TURNED ON THE LIGHTS!! Gale: So we’re all voting Astarion, then? Astarion: GALE YOU FUCKING CUNT!!

[trololohfluffs]

Stream sketch commission for Hamslicer

Posted using PostyBirb

[annezhuo]

ham slicer sausage cutting machine

[hearts-hunger]

[daribofoodmachinery]

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Daribo FoodMachinery (@daribofoodmachinery)

Cooked meat slicing machine. It can cut cooked meat, beef, chicken, sausage, bacon, fruit, etc. +86 15221311443 darren06@daruibao.com #meatslicingmachine #meatslicer #beefslicingmachine #beefslicer #sausageslicingmachine #sausageslicer #chickenslicer #chickenslicingmachine #hamslicer #hamslicingmachine #sausage #ham #daribo #daribofoodmachinery（在 Saint-Jacut-du-Mené） https://www.instagram.com/p/CVQC7VSoiJ3/?utm_medium=tumblr

[arimwe]

I have anosmia, which in my case means I have no sense of smell at all, but I can still taste things. I was either born without the ability to smell, or I lost it at a very young age.

I can still taste food, however. It likely tastes different to me than to someone else. I rely more on spices and the actual flavor of food, rather than the scent that might come with it.

While this does bring difficulty along with it, like not being able to smell a gas leak or spoiled food, it isn't all that bad. You can still taste things, you will learn to adapt to detect things that are "wrong" (for example, hamslices that are no longer good, will feel more slimey and sticky).

[defrancescoart1]

Yesterday was a very special day… 43 years ago in 1977, Pink Floyd’s album ‘Animals’ was released in the UK! In honor of this great music band DefrancescoArt has created an art piece “Marcelle D.” •Berkel ham slicer
•Pink Floyd limited pink LP Animals (100 pieces) www.defrancescoart.com #pinkfloyd #animals #pink #vinyl #lp #denisdefrancesco #defrancescoart #contemporaryart #limitededition #uniqueart #frenchartist #berkel #artdecor #uniquecollection #hamslicer #artwork #marcelled #artoftheday #anniversary #musicband #music

[readyforthegarden]

the way she’s using scandal as marketing is gross

She’s a disgusting human being tbh who is too insecure and sensitive to have any type of actual career. Not unless she hires a social media manager to take over her socials bc she just digs her grave deeper and deeper

[martincart]

( 1/ 4 )

Here's my new spring / summer outfit for my Meteo crusher pilot / Aaron Galaxicos! The clothing design was created based on a collab I made with a friend. they gave him the color!

I have a lot of photos to show, so I hope you like them!

[theadmiralfanaccount]

Making A Scrap-tokitten!

Hello everyone! If you’re a mechs fan, mechs adjacent or just think that 4 legs is not enough legs for a cat then an octokitten is your new best friend. The originals are made by Jessica Law and are fabulous but if you can’t get your octokittens direct from the Aurora then homemade is fine! There isn’t one definite method but this is the way I made mine and I thought it might help anyone with no idea where to start! This method is specifically for using up scraps but if you have enough to cut the pieces out in one here is another v good tutorial!

First of all gather your scraps together. Mine are from a dress I made for the CoS launch, a cape, a Crowley Cosplay and some scraps I��ve had around for ages. It helps that they are all about the same weight/stretchiness but not a necessity. It will just make your job sewing easier and might stop the final kitten from being as lumpy. Sew the larger pieces together (using a zigzag if you’re using stretchy material) to make square-ish shapes big enough for how large you will want Him to be.

Next is making the patten. The body is just a symmetrical shape that is roughly cat shaped. Imagine your standard model quadrokitten is sat upright, that’s about the shape you want. Your housemates bio-science notes are good for patten drafting these. Write on it to cut two or you might forget and check you have enough of the larger sewn together materiel to do so. If not, sew more!

For the leg pattern measure the base of your body pattern and double it. Now search your house for something that is circular and has the circumference that matches that measurement. A smoothie cup you have been using to hold sunflower seed shells is perfect! Draw around it in the centre of your pattern paper.

Have a think how long you want the legs to be. Mark that measurement on a long ruler with a non permanent pen. Realise you can’t find your ruler and use a fork instead. 

Then at 8 points around the circle your drew mark this distance from the circle line.

Now using the box from a tube of henna, mark how wide you would like the legs to be and cut out your patten! You might notice that the patten paper wasn’t wide enough for all the legs but that’s ok just draw it out separately and tape it on. You’ll also need a piece that is a rectangle as long as the fork measurement and as wide as your box for the top of the legs. 

Cut out one base from a larger scrap and 8 rectangles from whatever you have left. Iron any seams you have from sewing scraps together open to limit the amount of layers you have to sew through at once if your machine is weak and bad, then stitch the body pieces together right sides together. Then using a similar technique stitch the tops of the legs on to the bottom of the body.

With the right sides together sew the base onto the tops of the legs leaving one length of leg open. Turn Him the right way round using something pointy that lets you get in all the corners. Chopsticks are good for this or the metal stick you thread a cloth through to clean a flute also works. You’d think a ruler would be good but it’s too wide and anyway we have already lost it earlier on so that doesn't really matter.

Using the stuffing from a pillow your landlord left and you’ve sliced open to use the casing to make a top for larp, stuff your octokitten until He is the perfect hugging durometer to personal preference. Stitch up that last leg by hand.

The last step is to sew His eyes on and name him! He is complete and free to be set loose! Congratulations!

(also I have used He throughout since this is also an account of making my octokitten who is He however all pronouns or even no pronouns is valid for a squamous thing)

[almightyhamslice]

I’m going back to animating! Here’s a simple gif for now, but I thought it was cute & funny enough to post.

thank you princie, that’s so nice of you