#happy devil day 2021

[zegrasdrysdale]

Can you write about Nico dating a really famous actress, she is in House of the Dragon and in Dune, and now she is doing the press tour for the movie so she hasn't seen Nico in a while so to surprise him she goes to the stadium series and is at the family skate with him holding hands and being cute the whole time, so Nico is asked about their relationship the press conference after the game and he answered the question being a proud boyfriend, please? I love your writing

[ press pause ] n. hischier

paring : Nico Hischier x fem!reader

summary : after being away for a few months filming and doing press for her projects, (Y/N) surprises boyfriend Nico at family skate before the Stadium Series

warning(s) : one suggestive comment but other than that, cute and fluffy

author’s note : this request has been sitting in my drafts bc i wasn’t very proud of it but i decided to let it see the light of day bc i miss the stadium series. pls lmk what y’all think (the entire press conference is completely made up for the sake of the fic btw)

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She needed a vacation by the time her tour ended in New York City. It’s exhausting doing a multi-month press tour for a show that wasn’t coming out until the summer. She knows she’ll have to go on another one anyway while the season is airing on HBO.

The idea didn’t enter her mind until she saw a billboard on the highway going into New York. It advertises the two NHL Stadium Series games that are happening in a few days.

When the games were announced a few months ago, she was already booked on the press tour for season two of House of the Dragon. Nico wanted her to come to the game against the Flyers but she wasn’t sure if she’d be in the area to go.

Turns out, she is. Since she’s in the area, she decides to surprise her captain boyfriend at family skate.

Cat Toffoli worked closely with a designer to make some jackets for the wives and girlfriends of the players for the Stadium Series. She even made sure to make one with a “13” on it, just in case.

She’s happy that she gets to put the jacket to use since she’s surprising Nico at family skate. Pressing pause on her press tour to support her boyfriend in what’s one of the most important games of his life was the best idea she’s had in a while. It’s been a long time since she has laced up the skates Nico bought her when they first got together during the 2021-2022 season. Tonight seems a good time.

An Uber takes her from her shared apartment with Nico in Hoboken to MetLife Stadium in East Rutherford once she's in something that she can comfortably skate in, which ends up being leggings, a red shirt, and her jacket that Cat had made for her. She grabs one of Nico's beanies out of the endless pile in his closet just in case her head gets cold.

She gets more excited the closer she gets to the football field turned hockey rink. She shakes with excitement when the Uber pulls into the player parking lot.

Cars are parked all over the place. She recognizes most of the cars that are parked. The Devils get the ice tonight for practice and family skate.

With her jacket wrapped tight around her and a duffel bag holding her skates, she heads in the back entrance. She shows her ID to the security guard, who gives her special credentials so everyone knows she’s allowed there and is allowed onto the ice.

She’s already late so she could pull off this surprise. All of the players and their families are out on the ice. With quick feet, she makes her way onto the field. Her duffel bag slung over her shoulder as she rushes to the rink.

As soon as she reaches the bench, someone tells, “Nice of you to join us!” She sits down so she can change into her skates. Jack skates by with a smile on his face. “He’s been hoping that you’d show up.”

Her eyes scan the ice to find her boyfriend. She finally is able to spot him as he skates over to her. Jack skates off and Nico takes his spot.

When her laces are tied, she stands up and Nico helps her over the boards. “You’re here?” he asks as she gains her balance on her skates. “I thought you were traveling today.”

“Decided to press pause so I could be here for you,” she tells him. “Wanted to support my boyfriend after all the supporting you’ve done for me.” Nico flashes his dimpled smile at her.

She takes in his appearance. He’s in full gear with his red practice jersey since they did practice before the families came onto the ice. He has on his Devils beanie with the pompom on top of his head. The eye black he has on his cheeks looks good.

Nico takes her hand and loosely laces their fingers. “I’m glad you came,” he says. “It wouldn’t have been the same if you weren’t here.”

“Your dad and sister came though,” she replies as Nico begins to skate backwards. He pulls her along and she manages to keep her balance by holding his hands. “I’m sure it would’ve been okay if I wasn’t able to come.”

He pulls her closer to him so her chest is pressed against his gear on his chest. Nico’s hands rest on her waist to make sure she doesn’t fall. “You’re the most important person in my life, schatzi,” he tells her. “It wouldn’t have been the same. I promise”

She smiles up at him.

Out of the corner of her eye, he notices all the cameras on the two of them. She’s not even surprised. She’s one of the world’s most known actresses and he’s the captain of the Devils. Reporters are probably getting all the pictures they can get.

Nico doesn't let go of her hand. He makes sure their fingers are locked the entire time she's on the ice.

It's easy to forget the world around her when she skates with Nico. She's so focused on Nico and Nico is so focused on her that it feels like they're the only two people in the world despite multiple pairs of eyes being on them and a bunch of cameras trained on them.

There's only a few minutes left of family skate when Nico decides that it would be a good idea to spin his girlfriend. When she's on the toe pick of her skates, because Nico thought it would be smart to get her figure skating skates, he grabs her hand and spins her around.

"Nico!" she gasps as she spins right into his arms. He wraps his arms around her waist "You can't just do that without warning me. What if I fell?"

He laughs against her ear. "You know I'll always have you," he tells her. "You would think that you'd be able to skate on your own by now."

She shakes her head as Nico kisses the swell of her ear. The smile that forms on her lips is involuntary since she's trying to be mad at Nico. "I don't think you understand that I skate maybe three times a year," she sighs. "My job doesn't involve skating like yours does."

Nico smiles and she looks up at him. "Have I ever told you how good you look on skates?" he asks. "Because this look does it for me. Hope you know that."

With a gentle shove from her, Nico backs away but always makes sure to keep a hand on her so she doesn't fall.

"You are so lucky that I love you," she says to Nico as she carefully turns to face him.

He hums and playfully rolls his eyes before he slides his hands up to cup her cheeks. His fingers are freezing, but she quickly pushes that thought out of her head when Nico pulls her in for a soft kiss. She can't help but smile as she returns the kiss.

It's very rare for Nico to show this type of affection in public let alone at a Devils event. They're both very shy about their relationship when it comes to the public eye, but sometimes a moment overwhelms them and they can't help it.

Like this moment. Center ice on the Stadium Series rink.

She wraps her arms around his waist for a little extra security. The last thing she wants to do right now is fall on her butt. She can hear all the snaps of the cameras the longer their lips are connected.

Nico breaks the kiss and smiles at her. She reaches up and pokes his dimple, which gets a laugh out of Nico.

"Alright, Dimple Lover," he says with a smile. "Let's go. I feel gross and sweaty. I need to shower."

"As long as I can join you if you decide to shower at home."

"We're going home right now."

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

From the moment Nico scored on Sam Ersson thirty seconds into the game, she's been on her feet. It set the pace for the rest of the game. The Devils scored two goals every period, and Nico himself scored two goals on the night.

East Rutherford is on fire in the stands. They're cheering. It gets even louder when Nico is being interviewed by Emily Kaplan on a live mic and he says, "Thanks for showing up. It was fucking amazing- sorry."

He has the cutest smile on his face and waves at the crowd around him. The smile she already had on her face grows impossibly bigger.

When Nico heads down the tunnel to get out of his gear, she heads down to stand outside the media room so she can catch Nico before he goes in and does his post-game comments.

She's liking pictures of her and Nico from yesterday on Instagram. She replies to some of her mentions on Twitter. She even posts one of the pictures of her and Nico from yesterday when they were on the ice at family skate. Almost immediately, it begins blowing up on every single social media platform like her posts usually do when she posts Nico.

Minutes after she posts the picture, Nico comes walking down the stairs that lead to the hallway. He's back in Sopranos outfit, sans the jacket. The white tank hugs his body and shows off his arms. The cut he has under his eye completes the look.

Nico spots her before he turns into the media room. He says that he'll be in the room in a second. Then he walks over to his girlfriend.

"Hi, handsome," she says with a smile on her face. "Nice goals. Oh, I like this outfit too."

He leans down and steals a kiss. "Those goals were for you, schatzi," he whispers to her as he tucks her hair behind her ear. "I had to show off for my girl."

She smiles up at him and he mirrors it.

"Nico, we need you in here," someone says. "Nate's ready to go."

Nico nods and looks into the room. "Want to come watch?" he asks. "I'm sure they wouldn't mind."

With a nod, the two of them head into the room.

The reporters buzz as Nico walks up to the table to sit with Nate and she makes her way to an empty seat among the reporters. The woman she sits next to has a moment of panic and realization of who she is as the press conference gets underway.

One of the reporters in the front row asks, "Nate, was that celly after your goal planned?"

Nate laughs and nods. "Yeah, actually," he replies. The reporters in the crowd laugh. "Chris and I sat down and planned out a couple of different cellys just in case either of us scored. I happened to be the one to score, twice."

"Speaking of two goals, Nico," another reporter begins to say. "How do you feel after those goals you scored? Effing amazing?"

Nico smiles. "Yeah, it felt good, without the addition of another word that shouldn't have been said on live television," he replies with a very light laugh. "No, it feels good to score two goals coming off the All Star break. Took some time off, skated and worked on what I needed to, and, uh, I'm ready to have a good second half of the season."

They make eye contact and she smiles at him. One of the reporters notices that Nico's smile has gotten softer. "So, your goals have nothing to do with the fact that your girlfriend was here all weekend?" a third reporter asks.

"The fact that she was able to take time out of her incredibly busy schedule to be here means a lot to me, yeah," Nico says. "Being able to score a couple goals was me telling her that I was happy she was here."

"So it doesn't bother you that her presence this weekend has made multiple headlines and occasionally overshadowed the game?"

Nico scans the crowd and finds the reporter that asked the question. "I have never once thought that her being here this weekend overshadowed the game," he replies. "I am more than happy to have her here. If she makes a view headlines then oh well. She's one of the world's most well known and talented actresses, and I am proud to be her boyfriend. If that means that some of the attention is off of me then okay."

She smiles and bites her bottom lip as she watches Nico while he and Nate finish up the press conference with questions about the game.

One of the things she's always been worried about was completely overshadowing Nico and his career with hers. Now that she knows that he's proud of her accomplishments.

As soon as Nico is done, he makes a beeline right for her. She opens her mouth to say something but Nico quickly cuts her off with his lips. She giggles into the kiss and wraps her arms around his neck.

Cameras click around them but she doesn't care. Neither does Nico if he meant what he said.

"Nico," she laughs as she breaks the kiss. "This is your day. Enough about me. Stop making me a headline by kissing me in front of the cameras."

He smiles. "I don't care," he tells her. "I'll kiss you in front of a million cameras."

She shakes her head and pushes his hair out of his face. "You are insane," she tells him.

"You love it."

"I do."

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MASTERLIST

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[their-we-go]

50+ Queer Movie Recommendations

Hi! I'm Ray, and I love queer movies. Here are all of the ones that I've seen that I can think of, including some favourites and some not-so-favourites.

Please feel free to ask me about particular movies or to recommend new ones that aren't on here yet—I'd really love to hear your suggestions!

Comedies & Rom Coms

D.E.B.S (2004)

But I’m a Cheerleader (1999)

Big Eden (2000)

The Birdcage (1996)

Happiest Season (2020)

Imagine Me & You (2005)

Latter Days (2003)

In & Out (1997)

Booksmart (2019)

Victor/Victoria (1982)

The Watermelon Woman (1996)

Horror & Thrillers

Rocky Horror Picture Show (1975)

What Keeps You Alive (2018)

Fear Street Trilogy (2021)

Jennifer’s Body (2009)

The Handmaiden (2016)

Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy’s Revenge (1985)

Rope (1948)

Arthouse Films

Mulholland Dr. (2001)

Tropical Malady (2004)

The Duke of Burgundy (2014)

Documentaries & Based on True Events

The Celluloid Closet (1996)

Disclosure (2020)

A Secret Love (2020)

Pride (2014)

Historical

Portrait of a Lady on Fire (2019)

Carol (2015)

The Favourite (2018)

Desert Hearts (1985)

Maurice (1987)

Sci-Fi & Fantasy

Born in Flames (1983)

All of Us Strangers (2023)

Everything Everywhere All at Once (2022)

Coming of Age

The Way He Looks (2014)

The Half of It (2020)

Bottoms (2023)

Edge of Seventeen (1998)

Shelter (2007)

Boys (2014)

Do Revenge (2022)

Summer Storm (2004)

Handsome Devil (2016)

Beautiful Thing (1996)

Get Real (1998)

North Sea Texas (2011)

Heartstone (2016)

Drama

Denied (2004)

Moonlight (2016)

Call Me By Your Name (2017)

Brokeback Mountain (2005)

You & I (2014)

God’s Own Country (2017)

The Boys in the Band (1970)

Weekend (2011)

Thanks for reading, and happy watching!

[fillinforlater]

Monday of Appreciation: Part 101

Hello everyone, Smite here!

2 YEAR ANNIVERSARY of Monday of Appreciation!

My first MoA post was posted on the 20th of September 2021, two years. Time really flies, huh? I don't want this to be just another MoA 100 post, but I really gotta thank you all, especially because Part 100 received so much love, God, it made me so happy <3 It was a kinda cathartic moment, the series had an epic peak... all thanks to you.

I definitely also want to thank all the writers, without whom this all wouldn't exist. My way of thanking you all is by... featuring a FUCKTON of stories below. Even if you are not featured (first of all, I'm sorry lol), I still appreciate your work and comradery in the bunker. Y'all are amazing <3

LET'S GET TO IT!!!

No. 1: @dnd-writes: Way of Water ft. Eunbi

Ah yes, Waterbomb Eunbi. The event that captured us all. The idea with the backup dancer is straight forward, nice, but the greatest thing about this is the watersports. Waterbomb, watersports... you get it? Just read it.

No.2: @leafostuff: No Names Needed ft. Sheon (Billlie)

Thanks to Leafo for spreading the good word of Sheon and her... goddamn midriff. No more reasons needed, appreciate this girl already, ugh.

No. 3: @iznsfw: The Devil's Telephone ft. Yujin

Everything IZ touches skips the part where it turns to gold. Fuck gold, IZ just creates diamondtic-masterpieces. I was thrilled to learn about this fic and when I read it... IZ did it again! This portrayal of Yujin is everything. What are we to your might!

No. 4: @idyllicidols: Cheat Day ft. Wonyoung

Wonyoung gangbang with her fans? I bet you all are already foaming at your mouth. Go on. Read it. Leave some love for this talented writer after getting your loads off the screen.

No. 5: @rvp32: Whisper of Uncontrollable Desire ft. Chaewon

Let me tell you, rvp is great! They don't hold back, they go all out, they try A/B/O, they like futa (please write futa!) and they have a Gaeul series. This one fucking sent me <3

No. 6: @existslikepristin: Not Summer Yet ft. Jeongyeon

Thx ELP for the nice message on Part 100! Thanks also for giving us these crazy pieces again and again (well, this one isn't too crazy for your standards, but you get me). This felt really intimate, liked it!

No. 7: @dreamcatchers-husband: The City of Love and Secrets ft. Sejeong

You better learn French for this fic. But fr, now I wanna go to Paris and marry a beautiful girl before :floshed: filling her up because she truly is mine now ahhhhh

No. 8: @capslocked: SERENDIPITY ft. Eunbi

Caps, Caps, Caps, Caps, Caps, what am I gonna do with you? Your fics are ALWAYS in my to read list and when I get to them... yeah, takes more than one attempt... more like five. Fuck you, I love you.

No. 9: @ggidolsmuts: Sin, Hormones and the Starlet's Boyfriend ft. Yunjin, Somi

HOLY FUCKING FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK, that was so FUCKING hot, I caaaaan't stop meeeeee, this is so good, I need more of this. Yeah, basically every ddeun fic makes me go like this. What a fucking legend, man.

No. 10: @smuttysabina: A Pervert Bred by Perverts only Breeds more Perverts ft. E:U (Everglow)

As you can see, the title is quite elaborate on what happens in this fic. A bunch of perverts, a lot (and I do mean a LOT) of cum to breed and in the end everyone is happy. You too, you filthy pervert?

No. 11: @writingsomesin-amber: Puppies' New Toy Part 3 ft. LSFM, Xiaoting

FUTA, the best kind of futa. The one with Alphas, with Kazuha (who always has a HUGE cock), with boundless sex that's just horny nonsense. This is what I want to read. Thank you for writing it!

No. 12: @co-reborn: [PPV] BG SEX PERFECT PINK HAIR KOREAN COLLEGE GIRL RIDES AND GETS CREAMPIED - Full Ver ($30).mp4 ft. Jiheon

This is a sequel to probably the best porn focused smut to ever exist. Thank you, c.o, for creating this, for making it a universe and for dropping another Jiheon smut. She hot, you hot <3

No. 13: @pfxhk: Staircase: Prepotent Pleasure ft. Yuqi

Kaaajin <3 finally another Yuqi fic and a very good one at that. I want her hot lips wrapped around me too now.

No. 14: @rosiesmuts: After Dark ft. Rose

Rose little fuck doll. Her pics lately have been mind-fucking or sth like that, I dunno, just sex. Oh, and I know a lot of good things happen late at night.

No. 15: @akkaweo-akkaweo: Treatment ft. Jinsoul

That's the treatment wr allll want from our dear Jinsoul. Her gorgeous visuals have really stunned me since she joined Modhaus. Now paint that pretty face.

No. 16: @mode-lfy: Jinni (SMUT) ft. Jinni (ex-NMIXX)

Sooooo... when does Jinni unzip my pants, first thing in the morning finally come back?

Edit: SHE ACTUALLY IS?!?! LFG!

No. 17: @worldsover: link in bio top 0.1% creator ft. Jiheon

This one is the follow-up to c.o's [PVV], so we got a whole-ass universe with pornstar!Jiheon now. What a blessing, and it leaves us with no doubt that Jihron would reach that 0.1% if she'd show her cute face and bubble butt on cam... when tho???

No. 18: @allthekingssmut: She's Rough And Coarse And Gets Everywhere ft. Heejin

Star Wars is already a win in my book, pair it with hotness everywhere (the sun, a mechanic, her face) and it only gets better and better. The release to all the fucking tension between those two is EPIC. Great fic!

No. 19: @writerpeach: Overindulgent ft. Wonyoung

To say I have over-indluged in this fic would be a massive understatement. When Peach let's loose and pours out tens of thousands of words of unpure smut, we know we got ourselves a massive hit, no matter the idol. To make it even better, Wonyoung.

No. 20: @okaylikesmomo: Kampfyre Part 1 - Vocals ft. Winter

Just one word: vocal training. Wait, that is two words! So Imma a need okay to write a second part to this, because Winter has not been trained enough (imo).

No. 21: @pupyuj: Magic Words ft. Wonyoung (fem!reader)

More love to female reader fics! Especially thise one, with this sweet and spicy Wony that makes girls' legs weak and mine too xD Thank you for this great story and hot smut!

No. 22: @usedpidemo: Parasailing ft. Yuri, Minju

This story feels so nostalgic, so oddly familiar. Like I was there throughout it all and feel entitled to the release at the end. This fic has me gliding, high on their two perfect bodies.

No. 23: @summersault31: Concerto Pt. 1 ft. IU

Blowjobs under the table while tempting another woman into your sinful lifestyle... this combines a clichee with a hook that has you begging: Summer, where is Part 2?

No. 24: @midnightdancingsol: I swear, the Bear Poked Me! ft. futa!Minji x Danielle

Now for the futa appreciation. I think Sol is perfect for this, especially because the mere thought of Minji fucking Dani with her... HUGE COCK... so big and... were was I? Oh yeah, Hanni is also in this.

No. 25: @maemisnippets: You're Mine, Cheeks ft. Chaehyun (fluff)

In between 29 smuts, there is this one short fluff by our dear Maems. Well deserved, I must say. Keep it up, qt, always fun bits to read.

No. 26: @mintwithchoco: [CYMX-461] ft. Choerry, Jinsoul

Monopoly can be so much fun, if you are willing to strike some questionable deals to further your chances of winning and everyone's chances to have a good time. Bathtub sex?

No. 27: @nichuuu: Where our blue is ft. Rei

A beautiful story, it truly made me fall in love with Rei, her strive and determination, her failure, her rise---and the insane, drawn-out fucking at the end. Where our blue is has it all and I have to congratulate @nichuuu: In between all these great writers, this story really stuck out to me!

No. 28: @svndaysaweek: Niche ft. Hanni

Cute little Hanni in need of her step-brother, because she is so deeply in love with him... this was so adorable and sweet at the start and then went into an excessive smut part that fried my brain.

No. 29: @sinswithpleasure: You Can Watch, But You Can't Touch [At Least, Not Yet] ft. Mina, Sana, Momo

I. Would. Not. Last. There is no shame in me saying this, but I just couldn't, with these three hotties right in front of me. Blast it all over their bodies, hng.

No. 30: @xiakato: Ella Baila Sola ft. Xiaoting

Hm, maybe Xiaoting should dance alone, I'm not really good at it though my Just Dance scores would beg to differ.

Hey, if you read all of that, you're fucking awesome. I appreciate you, and hope, you have a great week ahead. Until the next MoA, goodbye!

[sinofwriting]

Made For Each Other - Max Verstappen

Words: 3,486 Summary: Max never put much stock into love at first sight until meeting her. Note(s)/Warning(s): Near Physical Cheating, Some Emotional Cheating (on Kelly not reader). So this is the toxic!max fic I mentioned and uh yeah this isn’t super like toxic but it’s something. Also, I will not apologize for inserting found family into this fic.

Masterlist | Support Me! 

“What?” Max presses his lips together, jaw twitching and he’s happy that P isn’t here, but with Daniil’s parents. “Things haven’t been good for us in awhile.” Maybe ever. He thinks and nearly winces, because they had been good in the beginning. But things had changed halfway through the 2021 season and it had only gotten worse as the weeks and months went on. “Kelly, it is unfair to you for me to pretend that I want to be with you anymore.” He nearly says that once the season was over he was already planning on breaking up with her, but manages to hold his tongue. She’s looking at him in that way that he hates, that’s caused arguments because it reminds him of his father. “What do you want me to tell P?” He can’t help the sigh of relief that escapes him at her easy acceptance. “Tell her that I will always love her and that if she ever wants to talk to me, she can call and I’ll do my best to answer.” “Okay.” Her voice is quiet and she looks around his apartment. “There shouldn’t be much here, but what you do find, have it shipped to me.” “Of course.”

He watches as Kelly walks towards the front door and maybe he shouldn’t say anything, doesn’t want to give her false hope, but he can’t help it. “Kelly.” She stops, her hand on the door knob ready to turn it. “Thank you for the past few years and all your support.” He sees her shoulders move as she sighs. “Your welcome, Max.” And then she turns the handle and walks out of his apartment.

He watches the door for a moment, feeling like if he looks away, suddenly she’ll be back. But the handle doesn’t turn and he’s spinning around to move to the couch where he had thrown his phone when Kelly had unexpectedly come here.

His thumb quickly moves across the screen, opening his last text message thread and sending a simple text.

I broke up with her.

It stares up at him and three dots appear along with those little check marks and he can’t help but smile. And god if the media could see him now, smiling after just breaking up with his girlfriend of so long, they’d use this as some sort of proof that he is the devil.

And now what?

His smile grows and his thumb moves again.

And now I come to you.

—

“You know, I thought you athletes had to train. Keep fit for the season.” She teases as he watches her move around her small kitchen. “I’ve barely been here a day and you’re kicking me out?” She shakes her head at him. “No it’s just I know that China got canceled, but you do have another race soon.” He shrugs, “It’s at the very end of the month. Besides, there's a gym close by. I can go there.” “And did you tell your trainer that you wouldn’t be home so he shouldn’t drop off any food or expect you?” His eyes widened. “Fuck.” He curses, scrambling out of the kitchen and to the bedroom where his phone is, her laughter ringing in his ears.

Calling Brad, he hears the phone ring three times before his trainer picks up. “Hello,” “Hey Brad, uh I’m not home right now. I mean, I’m not in the uh country.” “Did they call you for some testing?” “Uh no. I’m not there either. Just took a bit of a break, so don’t worry about meals or anything.” There’s a bit of silence before Brad speaks again. “Max, is everything alright?” “Yeah, yes. Everything is fine. I just needed a bit of a break. I’ll see you in Milton on the twenty-first, yeah?” “Sure.” “Great.” And Max hangs up the call, feeling a bit like a hurricane.

“You’ve made me go crazy.” He tells her when he sees her standing in the door of the bedroom, raising an arm when she doesn’t move. She immediately moves into his space, wrapping her arms around his waist, as his arm wraps around her shoulders, pressing a kiss to her forehead. “Have I?” “Yes. Meeting you has made me crazy.” “Do you regret it?” “No.” The answer is swift and firm, because no he could never regret it.

So much had changed since he had seen her for the first time just barely two weeks ago. Most of those changes happened in the past forty-eight hours. But he liked those changes.

He liked how he felt ever since she first looked at him, shook his hand, said his name. Liked how she made him smile and laugh. Maybe it was fucked but he liked how in Austrailia when he won and he nearly kissed her at the afterparty, she had to press her hand on his chest and hold him back. Remind him that he had a girlfriend. Had to stop him from pulling out his phone to call her and break up with her right then and there. Liked that despite that, she had taken his unlocked phone, added her number and told him to text her. Pressed her lips to his cheek and let the scent of her bury itself in his brain. He liked that when he first texted her asking when he could see her again, she hadn’t asked who, just told him they could talk when he was single. Liked that barely a day later he had texted her telling her he was and now he was here, with her, in her home.

Max loved however, her. The way she kissed him when he showed up at her doorstep. The then slight shyness she had over her giving him her number and her text, though there was no guilt or apology to be found in her words. Just more disbelief that she had done so. How she smelled, her house smelled. The way she sat, how her fingers brushed over his skin. How passionate she was about her job, about the music she listened to, and the candle that sat beside her bathtub.

And so it comes out. “I love you.”

He shouldn’t be saying it. People would and will call him crazy for it, but he knows himself. He knows what he’s feeling. And he loves her. Loves this woman that he hasn’t even known for a month. And fuck, people like to talk about how love at first sight doesn’t exist and you don’t know when someone is the one immediately or so soon after meeting them, but that isn’t true. There are outliers. He’s got a cousin that married her husband barely a year after dating him and they are happier than any couple he’s ever seen. One of the guys he grew up karting with met his girlfriend and a month later they were moving in together. He thinks they have three kids or maybe it’s four now.

And she, she feels like he was made for her and only her.

“I love you too.” The words aren’t whispered, no shame or doubt on them. Just certainty and he doesn’t know that she’s thinking the same thing. That she was made just for him.

—

She doesn’t come to the next race no matter how much he begs. Even when he’s about to run late for his flight back to the factory, head buried her neck as he pleads with her to come. But she only laughs, brushing her fingers through his hair.

“You just barely made a statement about no longer being with Kelly.” And he kind of hates that there’s no distaste in her voice about him having a girlfriend when they met. He knows that if she had been seeing someone his blood would be boiling everytime his name got brought up or even hinted at. “Give it a bit to settle.” He straightens with a bit of frown, “I won’t hide you.” She laughs, eyes lighting up and it makes him smile. “I’m not asking you too. Just for patience. I don’t want your PR team to end up hating me.” “Miami, then?” She shakes her head, pushing him away. “You have a plane to catch, Max.” “Imola?” He asks, backing up. Eyes widening a bit when she shakes her head again. “Monaco?” “Max!” And she’s laughing again. “Spain?” And this time she nods her head and he groans, picking up his duffel bag that’s been sitting by the door for probably thirty minutes now. “That is so fair away. You will make me wait that long?” “Oh, poor baby. Having to wait just a little over a month.” He pokes his bottom lip out, unashamed to pout. Because yes, not having her with him for the next four races sounded like torture. He had only gotten a taste of what her support was like in Australia. He wanted all of it now.

She must see that on his face because her smile turns fond, no more teasing and she’s capturing his lips in a quick kiss. “It will go by faster than you think, Max. And it gives me enough time to get everything situated so I can really be comfortable working from anywhere in the world.” “So, you’ll join me for the rest of the season?” “Yes.” He grins, pressing their lips together once, then twice. “If it does not go by fast like you say,” She stops him before he can continue. “Go, Max, it will. And I’m always a call away.”

—

The press eagerly awaits Max’s arrival in Baku. Hoping to see the two time world champion, downtrodden, miserable, regretful. Instead they get an even better story. He arrives at the track on the phone laughing, smile wide and body relaxed. It wasn’t the image of a man who had just separated from his girlfriend of a few years. It was the image of a man happier than he ever had been before.

They all want to ask questions, want to ask who he’s talking to, what or who perhaps has him smiling. Why did he and Kelly break up? Did he break up with her? Did she with him? But none of them are willing to risk the odd relationship that Red Bull has with the press, kind even generous until you cross the line.

—

“No more races without you.” He murmurs when she arrives at his hotel in Spain, his breath causing goosebumps to appear on her neck. “No more.” She agrees, before pulling slightly away, just so they can look at each other. “Hi.” She greets. He smiles at her. “Hi.” “Congrats on Monaco.” He huffs, but something warm fills him with her words. “You said that on the phone.” “That was on the phone.” She teases, before lifting her arms to loop them around his neck. “Proud of you, Max.” He doesn’t know how to respond to that, to how sincere her words are, so he presses their lips together.

“I love you.” She breathes when they break apart, panting slightly with shiny and swollen lips. “I love you too.”

—

The camera's shuttering intensifies as soon as Max’s car that he was given for the race weekend arrives at the track on Saturday. And it only gets worse when instead of just locking the car and starting his walk to the red bull garage, he rounds to the other side, opening the passenger door and helping a woman get out.

This woman is not one that any of them recognize. She is not Max’s mother or sister. She is not Kelly or some sort of model, super, instagram, or swimsuit. And even better they don’t recognize this Max. Who as soon as she is out of the car, purse in hands, shuts the door for her, which is fairly typical for him. But what is not is the way he presses his lips to hers for a quick kiss, before snaking an arm around her waist, a sort of love sick smile on his face as they begin the walk.

“I can’t believe you wanted me to come to one of these things earlier.” She murmurs to him, giving a wave to all the cameras. If she was going to do this, be with Max, she’d have to get used to them and quickly. “I still wish you had.” He murmurs back, squeezing her waist and turning his head to press his nose quickly to the top of her head. “Did you tell anyone about me or that I was coming?” She asks, though she already has a feeling what the answer is as they move further into the paddock and sees some of the drivers do double takes. He smirks, “now why would I do that?” She shakes her head, “your PR team is going to kill you and I’m going to watch.” Her eyes then catch on a slightly familiar man who’s looking at Max with murder in his eyes and she amends her statement. “Daniel is going to kill you and I’m going to watch.” Max pales slightly as he takes a look at the man she only knows from his stories and a few brief clips she’s seen on youtube.

As soon as they enter Red Bull’s hospitality for the weekend, Daniel pounces. Dragging Max and her since Max refuses to let go of her, to Max’s drivers room.

When the door closes, Daniel shoves Max though she expects more gently than he normally would due to her and stands in front of the door, hands on his hips, anger and disappointment warring on his face.

“Max.” “Daniel.” He replies, though it's a bit meek and she can’t help but give his hand a quick squeeze before letting go and stepping away. Not returning to his side despite the offended and hurt look he gives her. She shakes her head. “I told you that you could tell people.”

Daniel turns to look at her, giving her a quick grin. “I like you.” He declares before turning back to Max, grin gone.

“Seriously Max. First there was Kelly and you breaking up, which I found out through social media and you still haven’t told me how that whole thing went down.” She winces at the exasperation in Daniel’s voice. She knew from Max how close they were, considering themselves brothers just about and she couldn’t imagine how Daniel felt learning about Max’s breakup from social media and not the man himself.

“And now this!” He waves his hands around between her and Max. “I’m sure you're great.” He tells her quickly and she gives him a sheepish smile. “I mean really Max. What gives?” Max stares at the older man, unsure of what exactly to say to him.

It wasn’t like he didn’t think the people he was closest to weren’t going to have a reaction to the news of his breakup and now new relationship. It’s just that besides Daniel none of them had really reached out wanting to know what happened because they were all right with not knowing. They knew that if Max wanted to talk about it with them, he would. But Daniel was different.

He talked to Daniel about everything. A side effect of the older man having to deal with him as a teammate for those few years when he was so young and trying to really figure himself out. They had developed a different kind of relationship. One where he knew that he could go to Daniel with anything and everything and receive no judgment, only support. Daniel to him was a weird cross of a friend, brother, and father.

“I’m sorry.” He apologizes and his hands tighten into fists a little. Always unsure of himself when apologizing. “I should have called. Told you, explained what happened.” He hesitates, but knows that Daniel deserves the truth. “I nearly did.” And wasn’t that the truth. There were many times he nearly called or texted Daniel to tell him about the stunning girl he saw, then met, then nearly kissed, then got together with. But he hadn’t. He knew if he told Daniel, he’d end up telling everyone. Daniel stares at him, face giving away nothing, making him fidget, before he sighs and gives Max a smile. “It’s all good mate. You’re a bit of a cunt. But,” he shrugs, grinning. “You’ve always been like that.” Max lets out a laugh, relaxing at the familiar energy of Daniel. “Yeah, just a bit.”

He turns to look at his girlfriend, who's looking between the two of them with a smile, beckoning her back to his side. Enjoying how she easily fits into his side. “Daniel, this is my girlfriend,” and he knows his voice is lovesick when he says her name with the way Daniel looks at him. “Darling, Daniel.” “It’s nice to meet you, Daniel. Max talks about you a lot.” Daniel’s eyes flicker to Max, expecting some sort of an embarrassment or denial, but the younger man just nods. And that’s good enough for Daniel, who immediately grins at her before pulling her into a hug. “Nice to meet you as well. Max treating you well? I taught him everything he knows.” He tells her with a wink when he releases her. She lets out a small giggle at his words, but nods. “Very well. And thank you for your services.” She winks, making Daniel laugh.

“Oh, you are amazing. Now, tell me how this happened and what happened with Kelly.” He says gesturing between the two of them, sitting on the folding chair in the room, while they sit on the couch. “They are very much connected.” She laughs, before patting Max on the arm and sitting back fully.

“Oh, no.” Max groans, running a hand over his face. Daniel was going to have a fucking laugh. “So, we met a little before the Australian Grand Prix. Nearly had an incident there.” He tilts his head towards her and Daniel nods, understanding what he’s saying. “I actually nearly broke it off there. She managed to stop me however. But when I got home to Monaco, I broke up with Kelly then and there. Was already planning on doing it at the end of the season.” Daniel nods. “You mentioned that before.” “Yeah.” Max sighs, before telling him the rest.

Daniel stares at him for a moment after he's done before shaking his head, with a sort of breathless laugh. “Only you, Max. Only you. I’m happy for you though.” Max smiles at the older man’s easy acceptance. “Thank you.” “PR’s going to kill you for not giving them any warning.” He rolls his eyes, she had been telling him the same thing. “They won’t do anything. Besides, didn't they want me to be more personable?” “Don’t think this is what they meant or had in mind.” She tells him. “Probably hoping you’d vlog. Do what Charles and Lando do.” His nose wrinkles at the idea, making her and Daniel laugh.

—

“You’re good for him.” Daniel murmurs as they watch qualifying. She turns her head a little, still keeping most of her focus on the track. “Think so?” “Know so.” He corrects, taking a moment to flash her a smile. “Max and Kelly,” he sighs. “They had a lot of issues.” She says for him. “Wanted different things or the same things but not at the same time.” “Yeah,” the older man breathes, feeling at ease with how much she knows. “She made him happy at first ya know? But you,” he pauses to shake his head. “You make him into the person I think he would’ve been without Jos. Relaxed, at ease, happy.” His voice is a little quieter with the last word and she has to blink so she doesn’t start to cry. “I want him to be happy. And I know we fell into this fast, but Max.” She sighs, feeling a smile stretch across her lips as her heart flutters in her chest all at his name, at the thought of him. “I was made for him.” Daniel chuckles, taking in the infatuated, lovesick, expression on her face. It was the same look he had seen earlier on Max. It was nice to see that it really did go both ways. “There might be some fuss around it, but it’ll die down eventually.” He hesitates not wanting his next words to seem to much, but thinks fuck it. They went to the extremes here, and she’d have to get used to it fast with Max, if she wasn’t already. “I’ll message a few drivers that I know will support you and Max. We’ll have your guys back with the media or anyone else.” His support and approval make her reach out, squeezing his forearm for a few seconds. “Thank you, Daniel. It means the world to me.”

---

Tagging: @lapb @gemofthenight @peachiicherries

[heartandfangs]

HALOS, HORNS & EVERYTHING IN BETWEEN.

GENRE Roommate AU, Smut, Hint of Romance

PAIRING Jongseong/Jay x Fem!Reader x Heeseung

WARNINGS 18+ ONLY MDNI, Threesome, Cursing, Jealousy, Breast worship (what’s new), Making out, Oral sex (f!receiving), Mention of food, Light biting, Daddy kink, Role play, Cum eating/swapping, Unresolved feelings, Dom!Jay, SoftDom!Heeseung, PowerSub!Reader, HeeJay are pervs

SUMMARY After several long months of ignoring the angel and devil living across the hall, said roommates take matters into their own hands to please you on your special day. 

WORD COUNT 4k

AUTHOR’S NOTE This one’s simple but kinda crazy?? ngl I REALLY got carried away with the wc for this first request, but I’m going to try and keep the others shorter so I can get through them quicker. Definitely felt less pressure while writing this for fun tho. Happy birthday 🪶 anon! I took some artistic liberties with your simple request lmao, but hope you and everyone enjoy it regardless (if it’s not ur cuppa tea dw!) 🖤🤍🖤🤍 

See end for cont. author’s note.

Masterlist

© 2021-2023, Heart and Fangs. All rights reserved. Do not translate or post anywhere.

After an incredibly rough week of work, you’d completely forgotten to switch off your alarm last night so you could sleep in for your birthday. It was your long-awaited day. 

“The fuck,” You groaned before tapping the screen of your phone to silence the obnoxious sound. 

Clambering and scurrying footsteps could be heard outside your bedroom and in the shared kitchen. A nagging feeling in your stomach told you that you wouldn’t be allowed back to sleep any time soon. 

After about a minute, you noticed the sound of your roommates gathering outside your door— then knuckles tentatively rapping against it.

You pulled your duvet over your head and curled up tighter onto your side, refusing to answer. 

Another knock.

It was more insistent this time, annoyingly so. 

“What?” Your grumpy tone made it known that they were unwelcome visitors this early in the morning. 

Please go away…

Jay, seemingly unbothered by your attitude, cracked open the door, surveying your condition before swinging it wide open to reveal a birthday cake in his hand. 

Heeseung didn’t look any better than you in his black sweatsuit set and cowlicked ash-gray hair hiding his half-lidded eyes. Jay more than likely dragged him out of bed to help him prepare your surprise, yet he still gave you a smirk behind Jay’s shoulder and flashed you a peace sign. 

With a mischievous smile, Jay strode to the edge of your bed wearing a typical pair of gray sweatpants and a black tank, his lean arms on display. “Morning, birthday girl.” 

Heeseung made his way in and released a handful of red and pink balloons that floated to the ceiling; you’d think it was Valentine's Day or something. “Happy birthday, ___.”

Slowly, you dragged yourself up to sitting, keeping your blanket wrapped tightly around your shoulders. You rubbed your eyes, “I can’t believe I sabotaged myself with my alarm today.”

“Happens to the best of us,” Jay balanced the cake in one hand as he kneeled on the floor by your bed and ran a hand through his pale blonde hair, “And well, now you just have more of your day to enjoy. But first, cake.”

Of course, they knew better than to sing. You sighed and stared down at the simple, pink-frosted cake piped with red dollops in a heart-shaped border. 

In the center was written in red frosting:

u can’t pick ur dad

but u can pick ur daddy(s)

hbd!!!

You snorted and pressed a hand to your lips, raising an eyebrow at the two. Grammatically, it didn’t even make any sense, but you guessed it wasn’t supposed to. 

“What the hell is this? Which of you—” You barely managed to get out, shoulders shaking from laughter as you eyed Heeseung and gave Jay a look of scrutiny, “Or should I even bother to ask?”

In return, Jay playfully swiped the pads of his fingers across the corner of your lips, effectively smearing a bit of pink cream onto your skin. 

“Hey—“ Despite flinching, your tongue automatically darted out to sample the rich semi-sweet frosting, eyes widening in approval, “Mm!”

Jay chuckled and licked the remaining frosting off of his thick fingers, watching as you quickly averted his gaze, “I baked and decorated it. Obviously. But this guy stalked your Pinterest boards and saw something similar. So that’s how we got the idea, I guess.”

“Stalked? I just follow her,” Heeseung insisted, twirling the pink ribbon from a balloon around his finger. The two of them glanced at each other, and despite being touched by the sentiment, you paused.

While you had some pretty questionable content saved to the boards on your account, you definitely couldn’t have known Heeseung bothered to keep an eye on them.

What else did they see?

“Oh— how thoughtful of you,” You glanced over at the culprit, who suddenly found your carpet fascinating.

Jay cleared his throat and gestured the candle-lit cake towards you, its dancing flames taunting you, “Well, make your wish before the candle wax melts all over it, ___. Anything you want?”

“Hm,” You casually stretched your arms and shrugged off your blanket to reveal your gym shorts riding up your thighs as you crossed your ankles, “So if I wished for you both to leave me alone right now, you’d grant my wish?”

Heeseung untangled his finger from the balloon ribbon, blinking in surprise just as Jay’s shoulders slumped slightly, a flicker of hurt unexpectedly crossing his features. The blond pressed his lips together and stood to his feet. 

“Well, if that’s what you want. We’ll leave you be.”

“Jay…”

He nearly bumped into Heeseung on his way out but stopped at the sound of your sultry voice. 

Heeseung seemed enraptured as you gnawed at your lips and ushered Jay back with a simple look and tilt of your chin. The younger man’s gaze settled on the stretch of your thin cotton shirt over your breasts, and you felt yourself flush.

“I’m fucking with you both. Bring my pretty cake back.”

Both of them seemed to perk up as though they misheard you before trying to cover up how your choice words affected them.  

Jay huffed at your smug grin, “Go on then, blow it out, princess.”

With a roll of your eyes, you leaned forward and blew out the candles lined along the top of the rosy pink cake, leaving a trail of smoke in the air. 

“There, I made my wish. Thank you, boys.”

The last word seemed to grate on Jay’s nerves, with the way he haphazardly slid your cake onto your desk. 

“Hey, be careful. Why wouldn’t you handle your hard work with care? I’m gonna eat that later,” You quipped. 

“What was your wish?” Jay dared to ask, crossing his arms as he leaned back onto your desk. 

That earned him a weird look from you. 

“You can’t just ask her that,” Heeseung nudged Jay in his side and took the opportunity to sit next to you, the mattress dipping under his weight. Heeseung was a bit intimidating in size, but his proximity didn’t make you uncomfortable in the slightest— or so you liked to tell yourself. “We’re not done with your gifts yet.”

You faced him and leaned back on your hand, placing the other atop your thighs, skin suddenly prickling with goosebumps. “No?”

Heeseung couldn’t help the subtle smile playing at his lips due to the unnecessary but predictable tension between you and Jay, “We know the extra attention isn’t your favorite, but just for today, don’t fight it.”

“What do you mean? Don’t fight what exactly…?” You continued to feign confusion, feeling your heart thump erratically as Heeseung tucked your messy hair behind your ears and dragged his soft caress along your warm cheeks.

You felt a sense of adoration in his touch, those languid eyes of his melting into your own so you wouldn’t have doubts about what was to follow. 

“This,” The manner in which Heeseung moved against you was gentle but confident, his moist lips capturing yours as though he didn’t want a second with you to go to waste but still knew he could take his time with you. 

How could you fight such a sweet kiss?

Not long after, Heeseung began to playfully prod his tongue along your inner cheek before swirling it against yours, slowly dropping his palms down your delicate neck, then even lower, until he found your soft breasts. The squeeze of his warm hands around them sent a jolt through your body and tightened the knot in your belly; you couldn’t help but arch your back to press closer to him with an airy moan.

It took a second before you realized the gravity of what you were doing with your shyest roommate and steadied yourself against his chest. “Heeseung—”

Then you felt a rougher set of fingers hook underneath your jaw and steal you away from Heeseung’s kisses. 

Jay stood over you and held you in place, pressing a frosting-dipped thumb past your lips, the flavor awakening your tastebuds once more. 

“Suck,” Jay commanded under his breath, which was somehow more intimidating than if he were to shout it. As he pushed the pad of his thumb down onto your wet muscle, you obediently closed your lips around the knuckle of his finger and met his keen eyes.

He nodded approvingly, “That’s a good girl.”

It was common for the two of you to always give each other a hard time, but if he ever overstepped his boundaries, he always made up for it through an unexpected warm gesture or a home-cooked meal the next day once things had simmered down. He wasn’t as much of a hardass as he let on.

At first, Heeseung appeared to be the most laid-back and benevolent of you three, but you always figured he was more of a maverick than one might initially guess. It wasn’t until he started playing clever pranks on you after a couple of months of getting to know him that you realized you’d finally cracked through that bashful exterior of his.

Although the three of you shared an undeniable chemistry that allowed you to live together as roommates without entirely wanting to rip each other’s throats out, neither of them had ever made a move on you before— and you couldn’t have ever guessed they’d make a move on you together.

Were there signals over the months that you’d missed? Looking back, yes, that might’ve been the case— but you’d chosen to ignore them due to an inability to make up your mind. Perhaps that’s why things were getting out of hand; you’d driven the two of them up the wall, and they had no choice but to retaliate.

All you could do right now is try to make it through whatever they had in store for you… and somehow, you didn’t mind that. 

“Hate it?” Jay asked.

Judging by your heavy eyelids and the sweet hum of your voice vibrating against his digit, he had an idea that it was quite the contrary.

“Figured,” Jay removed his thumb from your mouth with a pop and leaned over to pull you against his lips for a crushing kiss of his own.

He was all heat and didn’t hesitate to tug your lips between his teeth or shove his tongue against yours until you were red in the face, gasping for air and more of him simultaneously. 

“Mmh— Jay!”

He gave you a haughty look and continued to make a mess out of you, ruthlessly nipping at your ear and down your neck, knowing that you enjoyed the roughness of his affection. It almost killed you when he slowed down a bit, eyes flickering open to stare at you with his forehead pressed to yours, breathing the same air as you.

Right then, you felt Heeseung mouth over the fabric of your shirt, gradually coaxing your nipple to hardness. With the moan you rewarded him with, he grew bold and pulled the fabric over your breasts to take the one closest into his mouth, suckling sweetly around it.

You swore your nipples had a direct connection to your clit because it pulsed against your tight shorts and made you sink your fingers into tufts of Heeseung’s dark grey hair with a whimper.

Of course, Heeseung would be the one to make you give in.  

After seeing your lovely reactions to his other roommate’s ministrations, Jay promptly kneeled on the bed and caught your other nipple with his soft lips. You cried out as he released it with a smack, only to continuously flick at the tip with his tongue, sending you into oblivion. 

The two boys worked in tandem to pleasure you, tugging at your delicate nipples and laying kisses on your burning skin, the delicious sounds of their mouths worshiping your body falling on your ears. How they had their own ways of going about it made you feel even more cherished by the two. This was the kind of gift that kept on giving. 

“Oh my god, that feels so good,” Panting, you tipped your head back and squeezed your eyes shut, letting the pleasure wash over your body at being tended to with such enthusiasm. Your panties were growing wetter by the second. 

“I told you she’d lose it once we started milking her tits,” Heeseung commented, reaching up to stroke your cheek with his thumb, “Like the feeling of getting milked that much, baby?”

The way Heeseung addressed you made your stomach do flips. 

“Mmn, yes… You guys are fucking— ah— crazy,” You whined helplessly.

“We’re not the ones posting kinky shit to our public socials,” Jay deflected with a hoarse laugh, remembering something in particular he saw on yours that he liked.

He continued to suck and knead at your breast with the intent to make you swell under his touch, and by the time you were begging for release, he wanted you to be soaked through your little shorts.

With a bit of tooth and control, Jay gradually sucked around your areola until you let out a delighted yelp, in which he quelled your pain with laps of his tongue. He was extremely cognizant of how your hips twitched, inviting him to touch you further.

“Hngh— please, it’s not like I planted a seed in your minds. You were both perverts to start with,” You shot back despite feeling stranded in the fog of bliss, “Jacking off in the shower with my soap…”

Jay, in particular, froze at your accusation.

“I’ve used that brand my whole life and noticed each bottle went quicker ever since I moved in with you two. And then jacking off in my bed when I’m not home—”

You punctuated your slight annoyance by curling your fingers around Heeseung’s cheeks. That irked you a bit more than Jay’s shower antics for hygienic reasons.

“I can smell your shampoo all over my pillow, you know. Can you at least change my sheets out of courtesy once you’re done? Bet you wanted me to figure it out, didn’t you?”

The entirety of Heeseung’s skin above his collar turned a deep shade of scarlet, his large eyes shining from embarrassment. “Shit, uh. I-I…I’m sorry. I’ll make it up to you. I’ll even do your laundry for a month.”

“What, so you can steal another pair of my panties?”

Heeseung couldn’t hide his startled expression. A few seconds passed before a smirk made its way onto his flushed face, and he wet his lips. “‘Course not …”

Jay cocked a brow at Heeseung having been exposed to the degree that he was. Really, the two of them should’ve known better. Although the blond wasn’t sure if there were more things Heeseung’s done that you hadn’t caught onto yet, he knew that to be so in his case.

“I knew it all along,” You sat up straighter and stroked Jay and Heeseung beneath their chin, spreading your legs to reveal how your arousal had seeped through your layer of panties staining the fabric of your bottoms a darker, enticing shade.

With greedy looks in their eyes, both boys set their sights on the evidence of your excitement, saliva collecting under their tongues. 

“So, how are you both really gonna make up for such shameless, deranged behavior?”

Heeseung felt his cock twitch heavily in his sweatpants at your challenge, knowing it was all your fault. 

“We were just getting to that part,” Jay appealed, caressing his hand along your inner thigh, dipping closer and closer to your warmth, “___, trust me, you’ll forget all about our fuck-ups in a few minutes.”

“Yeah, we’ll see about that,” You directed Heeseung to continue stimulating your tits by dragging his chin forward as you leaned back onto your elbows. 

He peeked over his shoulder at Jay, who positioned himself between your legs, and it was evident by the dark glint in his eyes that he wanted to taste you as well. However, you judged his sinful shenanigans to be greater than Jay’s and instead jerked his head towards your chest, your free hand gripping your breast.

“C’mon, Daddy, make my wish come true. Milk my tits and pussy, I want it so badly...”

That was a first. Your words seemed to reset the two back in order; Heeseung’s breath caught in his chest, but Jay fell back into the flow of things quicker. 

“Shit, baby. We’ll give it to you.”

You squirmed as Jay ran his hot tongue over the seam tucked between your swollen mound, his fingers tugging at your waistband to strip you bare.

Heeseung held your hazy gaze as he yanked off his top, tossing it onto the floor before diving back into devouring your breasts. With each messy kiss placed on your chest, your entire body shuddered, and Heeseung found himself groaning against your skin from how amazing it felt to finally gratify his urges for you. 

It was so satisfying to make you moan nonsensical things while feeling your nails scrape along his nape and upper back. 

Once Jay freed you from your shorts, all that was left was your drenched panties, which he took an even more passionate lap at, shoving his tongue against the dip of your entrance through the fabric but all too conveniently avoiding where you needed him most. 

“Mm, Daddy… please,” You whispered with a gulp, spreading your legs even wider to lure him in, “Please make me come on your tongue.”

Jay’s eyes softened; in return, he pressed a kiss to the flesh of your trembling thigh and began to remove the last barrier of clothing that kept him from your warm, wet pussy. “Alright, baby. I’m gonna help you come so much, okay?”

“Mhmm…” You nodded.

Ah, it was so different to see him like this. He’d always spoiled you one way or another, hadn’t he?

If only you noticed how his cock was straining in his pants at seeing you spread so prettily for him while thoroughly enjoying getting your tits sucked. 

“I haven’t seen a pussy prettier than this,” Jay commented, catching his roommate’s attention.

For a second, you were given a chance to breathe and merely collapsed onto the sheets, staring up at the balloon-covered ceiling as Heeseung leaned over your body to enjoy the sight of your arousal dripping down your folds. 

“Fuck, it’s so wet,” Heeseung murmured, his eyes drinking up the erotic view of you from above as he spread your lips apart with his middle and index fingers. “Look at that drooly little hole. It’s clenching so tightly…”

Jay chuckled, and you could only whimper, feeling Heeseung’s breath ghost over your pussy. Hearing them talk about you so casually caused your face to overheat; you wondered if they ever discussed you behind your back like this. 

“Think this pink little clit would like it if we suck on it?”

Before Jay could respond, Heeseung pressed forward and swiped his tongue across your swollen clit, fit his lips around the nub, and then sucked. 

“Heeseung!” You jerked against his face and reached back to grip your duvet, feeling more wetness drip onto your sheets. 

Heeseung had the nerve to snicker in front of Jay’s face before pressing himself back up at the sound of your needy voice.

Jay’s jaw clenched, but he hadn’t made a move to stop the other male since it wasn’t against their agreement. All he could do was sink his grip into your mattress, pissed that Heeseung had just stolen the first taste of you from him.

Well, he did practically invite him over to gloat before feasting on you. He just didn’t anticipate that it’d backfire; should’ve thought twice about that. 

Little did you know it’d work in your favor. 

“Mm, knew you’d taste like candy,” Heeseung hummed, clearly trying to hold back a smile. He tipped your chin up, his voice low and tender, “Give Daddy a kiss, I want you to taste yourself.”

You were tentative in doing so but eventually got lost in the sensation of sharing the taste of your arousal with Heeseung. It made your lips tingle, toes curling against Jay’s shoulders. 

“Ah…”

Every inch of your skin became a magnet for Heeseung’s lips as he kept himself busy, rubbing at your tits, fully aware of the havoc he’d wreaked with Jay. He supposed that’s one thing he shared in common with you— getting on Jay’s nerves when he felt like it. 

Oh, were you feeling absolutely dizzy now, and even more so when a plush pair of lips you’d been missing began to make out with your pussy. 

You exhaled harshly and glimpsed down your body at the blond tending to your aching mound. All that softness previously on display was gone; Jay’s never looked more starved than he did now, grip fierce on your thighs whilst plunging his tongue into your pussy.    

“Oh fuck, Jay—!“

He wasn’t messing around. With each heavy drag of his hot tongue on your clit, your muscles seized, breath growing shorter and shorter, your body on the brink of an orgasm. 

Heeseung latched onto your tit and rolled your other nipple under his fingers, watching your desperate expression from beneath his lashes. 

With the incredible sensations you were experiencing all over the pleasure points of your body, you were done for. 

Jay reveled in the fact that you couldn’t keep your plush thighs from squeezing tightly around his head. He was just as attentive to your responses as Heeseung, his kisses to your clit pushing you over the edge as your eyes fluttered shut. 

Shocks of pleasure traveled up your core, causing spasms throughout your entire body. The boys couldn’t get enough of your precious moans echoing off your bedroom walls, and Jay seemed to be enjoying your high as much as you were. You felt his moans rumble against your skin— had a feeling he was savoring every drop of you.  

Heeseung fondly ran his fingers through strands of your hair strewn across the sheets while your limbs were awash with ecstasy. Despite your twitching, you felt Jay continue to dip between your thighs and gather your creamy release on his tongue. Shortly after, he crept over your body and reached for your jaw, his eyes trained on yours as you felt his cock scorch against your abdomen.

“Open,” He urged, and not a second later, you were mindlessly offering him your tongue. 

Your cream dribbled from the tip of his tongue onto yours, like honey— and just before the strand could break, he sealed his lips over yours, stroking deeply and slowly into your mouth like he wanted you to blackout in his arms from lack of oxygen.

Oh god…

After all that, you managed to let out a breathless chuckle and offer Jay a bashful smile which he returned.

“So, did we somewhat make up for our shameless, deranged behavior?” He asked. 

Well. You supposed you could say you weren’t nearly as put off by the secret perversions that took place over the past several months as you were 30 minutes ago.

You swallowed thickly, adrenaline still coursing through your veins as you pressed your sticky thighs together. “Yeah… a bit.”

“Just ‘a bit’ she says. Good thing we have more gifts,” Heeseung exchanged a look of amusement with Jay and kneeled by your side.

He began to stroke himself over the jet black sweatpants hanging low on his hips, brazenly shooting you a heated look as he did.

Without thinking, you reached out to touch him, and his large hand immediately covered yours, guiding you to squeeze along his thick cock and feel him up as you pleased. You just couldn’t get your hands on enough of him— either of them.

Heeseung clicked his tongue.

“Wanna open mine?”

—

A/N CONT.

Yay, I can finally add something to Jay’s repertoire! It was fun to see what naturally came out on the page for him in this fic, he ended up being Very Daddy. 😵‍💫 I actually started a femdom sub!Jay fic months ago but never got around to finishing it so I’m glad some other anons requested more of him lmao

I wasn’t sure if I’d like writing a threesome fic, but I thought I’d try it out– I didn’t hate it. A threesome tit sucking scene had been a long time comin 🤭 ANYWAYS Hee was a nice contrast to Jay in this as I’m still high off of him in NIIY. 🥰 This is also my first time writing in some aspects of a Daddy kink, but I’m still exploring it. Let me know if you enjoyed that aspect bc I know I usually tend towards more switch dynamics in my fics?

I was about to write a part 2, but I gotta get the other requests done! Also random but not, I feel like perv Hee is just a running joke in this fandom on here, so I’m just keeping the legend alive (again), he’s the official panty thief ™

As always, reblog, like or follow me if you enjoyed and check out my masterlist for more fics ⚰️🖤 It’s appreciated!

[ruanbaijie]

𝔳𝔞𝔪𝔭𝔦𝔯𝔢𝔰

SELECTED VAMPIRE* SHOWS WATCHED IN THE PAST 15 YEARS for @userphotoshop​ event 6 ✦ halloween

*including dhampirs and it-was-never-specified-they-were-vampires-but-hey-they-drink-blood characters

the lost boys (1987)

forever knight (1992-1996)

interview with the vampire (1994)

vampire hunter d: bloodlust (2000)

queen of the damned (2002)

the league of extraordinary gentlemen (2003)

underworld (2003-2016)

van helsing (2004)

supernatural (2005-2020)

30 days of night (2007)

blood ties (2007)

moonlight (2007-2008)

being human uk (2008-2013)

the twilight saga (2008-2013)

true blood (2008-2014)

let the right one in (2008)

vampire knight (2008)

daybreakers (2009)

thirst (2009)

the vampire diaries (2009-2017)

the gates (2010)

let me in (2010)

shiki (2010)

fright night (2011)

priest (2011)

vampire prosecutor (2011-2012)

being human us (2011-2014)

abraham lincoln vampire hunter (2012)

byzantium (2012)

only lovers left alive (2013)

dracula (2013-2014)

hemlock grove (2013-2015)

the originals (2013-2018)

dracula untold (2014)

what we do in the shadows (2014)

the strain (2014-2017)

blood (2015)

scholar who walks the night (2015)

seraph of the end (2015)

the vampire lives next door to us (2015)

shadowhunters (2016-2019)

eat locals (2017)

castlevania (2017-2021)

devils line (2018)

tenrou: sirius the jaeger (2018)

a discovery of witches (2018-2022)

the passage (2019)

dracula (2020)

noblesse (2020)

blood red sky (2021)

happiness (2021)

mars red (2021)

midnight mass (2021)

the case study of vanitas (2021-?)

first kill (2022)

the invitation (2022)

morbius (2022)

vampire in the garden (2022)

interview with the vampire (2022-?)

vampire academy (2022-?)

[preseriesdean]

for @spnficrecfest day ten 🧡

2x05 SIMON SAID

have a cigar by deadlybride 5.6k words, rated E, published 2020 What happened with Andy and Ansem unsettles Sam. Dean doesn't seem worried.

2x14 HOUSES OF THE HOLY

The real green thing will come by victoria_p 1k words, rated T, published 2007 He'd like to blame the whiskey, but he thinks it's more than that, this whatever-it-is between them that's been there for years.

2x20 WHAT IS AND WHAT SHOULD NEVER BE + 2x22 ALL HELL BREAKS LOOSE

Worthless cartography by Goshen / applecrumbledore 15.6k words, rated E, published 2022 Dean didn’t know what finally made him go for it. The djinn’s dream was a catalyst, but the call was coming from inside the house, and he’d been letting it ring for a very, very long time. (They get one night together right before Sam is taken to Cold Oak. Dean has to deal with that.)

2x22 ALL HELL BREAKS LOOSE

When I Fall Asleep it Is Your Eyes That Close by britomart_is 1.9k words, rated E, published 2009 Sam is alive. Dean is happy.

3x11 MYSTERY SPOT

North of Wednesday by Mollyamory 3.5k words, rated G, published 2008 Sam's behind the wheel before he realizes he doesn't have the keys. Dean does. There should be another cheesy eighties song coming on any second, because it's like he wakes up again, without ever falling asleep.

This Fortress Made of Us by mickeym 10.8k words, rated E, published 2009 Sam really didn't do very well without his brother.

What Went Wrong Yesterday by SinnamonSpider 16.2k words, rated E, published 2017 With Broward County in their rearview and a new case in their laps, Sam struggles to come to terms with the six months he spent alone after Dean’s death - and the fact that it never happened at all. And on top of it all, he now has to deal with the feelings for his brother that have been dragged to the surface.

4x17 IT'S A TERRIBLE LIFE

How Many Floors to Realize by lazy_daze 26.2k words, rated E, published 2009 In which Zachariah decides to keep stringing them along a little while longer, because damn if they aren't somewhat entertaining, right?

5x01 SYMPATHY FOR THE DEVIL

Lesser Evils by Dyed_Red 9.3k words, rated E, published 2020, non-con “So you’re just gonna, what – torture us for an hour while your guys hightail it to Buffalo? That’s your master plan here?” “Oh I can do a lot in an hour or two, Sammy. Like having your surrogate daddy here carve Dean a new face. Like backsliding you off your pretty bandwagon. Like…Seeing how far big brother will go for his sweet baby Sam.”

5x04 THE END

Further than a Ship, Faster Than a Bomb by queenklu 622 words, rated M, published 2010 Set during 5x04, when there was a glorious moment of two Dean Winchesters at the same time. "You left him."

5x14 MY BLOODY VALENTINE

The Heart of Life by queenklu 626 words, rated T, published 2010 A Vonnegut Valentine.

5x18 POINT OF NO RETURN

the tabernacle reconstructed by redmyeyes 2.9k words, rated M, published 2022 They pulled on clothes, afterwards.

6x18 FRONTIERLAND

You Have One Saved Message by killabeez 3.1k words, rated T, published 2011 Sam gets a new smart phone.

6x22 THE MAN WHO KNEW TOO MUCH

These Things I Know Are True by killabeez 4.6k words, rated E, published 2011 Cas is off the rails, Sam's barely keeping it together, and Dean's trying to figure out where they go from here.

8x21 THE GREAT ESCAPIST

Last Temptation by merle_p 3k words, rated M, published 2021 Sam is running a fever again, the kind of fever no Ibuprofen or cold compress will bring down, the kind of fever that is eating him up alive, eviscerating him from the inside. He is too hot and too cold and too pale, delirious and shaking, resonating with whatever divine energy the trials are subjecting him to, and Dean is not sure how much longer he can stand to see him be in this state.

10x12 ABOUT A BOY

capitulation by deadlybride 8.5k words, rated E, published 2018 When they don't manage to turn Dean back into his adult self, Sam spends a month researching how to fix it.

Betelgeuse by hellhoundsprey 2.8k words, rated E, published 2020 The hex bag never burned.

Telescope by doctor_idiot 7k words, rated E, published 2017 Sam stares at his brother in his baggie hoodie with the rolled-up up sleeves and he wants to cry.

11x17 RED MEAT

Chosen by killabeez 2.5k words, rated E, published 2016, mcd This might be their last night on earth, so Sam figures, what the hell.

[tranzjen]

✨ 8 Days until my Surgery ✨

I'm very very excited for my surgery (it's my second gender affirming surgery but this one is more significant to me since it'll be top and bottom surgery) and I'm obviously counting the days until it and I thought some people might be interested in my trans journey. So see part 3 below the cut

You can read part 1 here

So, we're now entering the era of a lot of firsts for me. I lost my virginity and then started dating the person who's currently my fiance 🥰. Also, I got my first job (as a pizza cook), moved in with my partner, and went to my first concert (Amigo the Devil). This was when I first started feeling like an adult and a real person tbh.

I remember hating that job bc I would get misgendered constantly 😒 It was take a few years before I was consistently gendered correctly and there are still random moments where I get misgendered but it's pretty rare by now.

Besides my mom, my partner has been my biggest supporter and had a big influence on who I've become. Also they accepted their nonbinary identity shortly after we started dating so our transitions are intertwined.

This was also the part where a lot of physical developments came. Like, I remember going from wearing breast forms constantly to my developing boobs getting too sore to wear at all. Also I loss a lot of weight. I thought that was because of the estrogen but that was more because I stopped taking antidepressants. Honestly wish I could gain some weight back 😅. I was also developing my personal style as you can see below. It's funny how I defaulted to a very basic repeating outfit pre-transition to discovering I did have a sense for style, just only with feminine clothing lol.

(pictures taken between Dec 7th, 2020 and September 14th, 2021)

This was definitely my era of using filters a lot. There's nothing wrong with using filters (it's kinda like easy makeup imo) but as I started dealing with dysphoric traits, the desire to use themlessened.

Also it was around this time I went to simply she/her pronouns. I remember my friend I should use whatever pronouns make me happy and she/her did when they/them felt neutral at best. And this was when I finally felt like I "deserved" to call myself a woman.

In the next update, I started loving my body 💕

Next part

[babydollmarauders]

MEDIA MANAGEMENT — JACK HUGHES (PART TWELVE)

notes: i’m finally caught up on this series! just in time for the last regular season game!

previous: eleven

next: thirteen

y/ndevils00

liked by jackhughes, lhughes_06, and 72,810 others

y/ndevils00 if you’re allergic to sappiness, you may wanna keep scrolling tonight!

first of all, i’m so proud of ALL my boys tonight! all 5 of our goal scorers, the assisters, and the ones who just played their asses off tonight!

now is where it gets sappy!

my jacky: you broke a 22 year old franchise points record tonight. YOU did that. i always knew you would do it, and i’m so grateful that i was there to see it happen. you’re my (real) best friend, my love, my heart, the father to my cat, and the best hockey player i’ve ever seen (sorry boys). the talent that you possess is constantly leaving me awestruck, and i can’t wait to see what you achieve in the future. i can’t imagine the past 3 years without you, and i hope i never have to live a future without you either. i am so unbelievably proud of you. congratulations, my sweet boy. lil satan and i love you to pluto! <3

my lukey: my little (not so little) brother for the past 3 years. for some context, i met luke when he came to a devils game literally the same month i started working for the team. jack introduced me to him and lukey and i hit it off. i ended up sitting with him at the game, we exchanged numbers, and i adopted him as my own little brother very quickly. when luke was chosen in the 2021 draft, i cried tears of joy; but those tears were nothing compared to the ones i shed tonight. my baby brother made his nhl debut tonight and i couldn’t be happier for him. i look forward to seeing you absolutely kick ass and show everyone in this league how incredibly talented you are. congratulations on your debut, smush! i love you! <3

p.s. rasmus dahlin, i am in your walls. stay away from my boyfriend.

tagged jackhughes and lhughes_06

user did she just call luke “smush”?! that’s so cute, i need the reason asap

y/ndevils00 no real story behind it! we just smush/squish each others cheeks a lot! also, we watched finding nemo for our first facetime movie night and he took up calling me “squishy” like dory called the jellyfish.

john.marino97 they really do do it often. i’ve counted 12 times in the past 2 days

jackhughes i love you to pluto, sweet girl. thank you for being by my side to celebrate this achievement. i’m so thankful that i get to spend life with you ❤️

y/ndevils00 you’re so obsessed with me

jackhughes PARTS of you, for sure

y/ndevils00 you perv! there are innocent eyes present! @/lhughes_06

jackhughes i meant your heart!

lhughes_06 we have thin walls, i know you’re lying.

lhughes_06 @/y/ndevils00 also, why would you tag me?!

lhughes_06 thank you squishy! this was really sweet but can you stop crying now?

y/ndevils00 you didn’t say you love me, so no

lhughes_06 i love you!

y/ndevils00 well now it just seems forced. i hope you can sleep through my wails and tears

john.marino97 congrats hughesy! so happy for you! and congrats little hughesy! you did great!

jackhughes thanks bro!

lhughes_06 thanks man!

y/ndevils00 @/jackhughes @/lhughes_06 yeah, you guys are so siblings

john.marino97 @/y/ndevils00 did you think they weren’t?

y/ndevils00 idk i was just kinda hoping that maybe ellen actually switched jack at birth and he’s not actually their son but i’m their daughter

jackhughes @/y/ndevils00 that’s the oddest way to say you love my family. you’re such a little nutcase, i love you

lhughes_06 @/y/ndevils00 you weren’t even born in florida like jack…

y/ndevils00 @/lhughes_06 you’re a brat

dawson1417 LFG BRO! SO PROUD OF YOU HUGHESY!

jackhughes THANK YOU BRO! APPRECIATE IT!

dawson1417 congrats luke!! smashed it tonight, dude!

lhughes_06 thanks dude! looking forward to playing more games with you!

trevorzegras HOLY SHIT CONGRATS BRO’S! KILLING IT! can’t wait to play against you @/lhughes_06

y/ndevils00 no.

jackhughes thanks bro! hope your game goes well!

y/ndevils00 @/jackhughes no.

lhughes_06 thanks z! excited to kick your ass next season 🔥

y/ndevils00 @/lhughes_06 yes.

y/ndevils00 @/trevorzegras is officially banned from my comments until he apologizes to me. any more comments about or from him will be deleted.

trevorzegras what did i do now?

y/ndevils00 @/trevorzegras it’s more what you WON’T do.

trevorzegras is this seriously because i won’t dress up as ken to see the barbie movie with you?

y/ndevils00 @/trevorzegras blocking you. deleting your number. lasering off our matching tattoo.

user63 they have matching tattoos?!

y/ndevils00 @/user63 not anymore.

lhughes_06 @/user63 yeah it’s the moon and saturn

user84 am i the only one who thought she and trevor just genuinely didn’t get along?

y/ndevils00 @/user84 i feel like a lot of people think that, so i’m only gonna say this once so he can’t use it against me: trevor is actually one of my closest friends! i love him very much and i THOUGHT he loved me. if you scroll back to the summer on my account you’ll actually find loads of posts with him! we just have a funny way of showing our love but i’m actually very grateful to have a friend like him 🖤

trevorzegras 📸

y/ndevils00 @/trevorzegras i take it all back. i hate you, troll doll.

trevorzegras did you just insult my hair?! TAKE IT BACK!

_quinnhughes @/trevorzegras she literally called you a “brainless bimbo” and “the human equivalent of cat zoomies” the other day on the group call and your HAIR is where you cross the line?

_quinnhughes so proud of the both of you 💙 congrats guys

lhughes_06 thank you quinner ❤️ love ya bro

jackhughes thanks quinny! love ya ❤️

y/ndevils00 my baby boys <3

jamie.drysdale i wanna know what was running through your mind when jack looked straight at you when you took the arrival picture

jackhughes she yelled “shit! fuck! abort mission!” and dove behind the equipment boxes

lhughes_06 she scared the actual photographer and almost made them break their camera

user37 why does luke look like he has no emotions in the third slide?

y/ndevils00 it’s the hughes dead eye stare! they can all do it VERY well because they’re all emotionally dead inside <3

nicohischier proud of you guys! excited to play with you more @/lhughes_06 and can’t wait to see if you’ll break your own record next season @/jackhughes

jackhughes thanks cap!

lhughes_06 thank you cap!

y/ndevils00 he will!

[whatifyoulivelikethat]

not allowed xvi | myg, jjk

pairing(s): est. poly relationship – yoongi x reader x jungkook

summary: The date of Min Yoongi's mandatory service is drawing close. It is not a solemn time, but rather a time to reflect back on how your relationship is different now. Um... other than Jeon Jungkook passed out on the couch. Ignore the snoring.

warnings: rated M (18+) for language; discussion about Yoongi's mandatory civil service; relationship talk; holy shit, they love-love each other, all the feels; no smut; idol!BTS - Yoongi x reader x Jungkook; reader is JK’s noona; based on real time

part of ‘not allowed’ series, but can be read alone. basic summary: your bf asked JK to fuck you, twice, and then on the regular. blue haired JK. 2021 YG birthday, ‘Butter’, wiyllt remix. new skill acquired, JK’s sheer pj punishment, 2021 JK birthday, during PTD in LA, 2022 HNY, 2022 YG birthday, PTD in LV, 2022 JK birthday; 2022 Christmas

--

“I’m going to be living like you for a while.”

“It is not as exciting as you think it is,” you had replied with a small laugh.

This.

The addition of Jeon Jungkook to the relationship between you and Min Yoongi had a comfortable rhythm. At first, there had been hesitancy. Uncertainty in defying convention, but it had felt so natural that it seemed weirder to defy the connection. A male idol having a girlfriend was already not allowed, so what was one (or) more rule(s) broken? And so, the relationship between you three was a secret from the public for reasons and a secret from most for other reasons.

All obvious, logical, unspoken.

Of course, the ones who knew the most were the other five members of BTS. For the sake of happiness, they preserved this bubble and did not interfere. Understandably, in the beginning, there had been a light discussion between all about if this was helping or hurting. They had wanted to know if anyone was overstepping bounds or if there were any ill feelings. At the end of the day, Yoongi and Jungkook did work together. But, more importantly, they were friends. The group could only work as a unit if everyone trusted each other. This was unmarked territory. Love could be messy. No one could predict the future of forever. You could only promise to be honest. Yoongi had said that he would do his best to communicate and take care of the relationships. And Jungkook, well, he was the kind of man that always had to come back to who he was, otherwise he felt lost.

Meaning…

He was alarmingly bad at hiding his attraction to you.

As proven on Run BTS!, Jeon Jungkook was a very shitty liar.

Surprising to all, the dynamic ended up having a good flow. You knew what you were getting yourself into and you knew you had to adapt to unusual circumstances, as you had been when you chose to pursue this love. As the older one, Yoongi understood Jungkook well. As the younger one, Jungkook was considerate and pure-hearted. There were no major difficulties because everyone went to great lengths to communicate and to be understanding. There was a shared belief in the power of a promise. No need for specific rules on how much time you spent with one or the other, nor any rules for how the time would be spent. With the introduction of solo activities, it became a little easier.

It was easy to love and, now, even easier to spend that precious time together.

Jungkook always told you how important you were to him. Probably because he too wanted to hear that you reciprocated the feeling, which you did and told him so. He was, as he often said, a (large and excitable and very cute) handful. He had odd hours. He was eccentric. Unpredictable. It very much depended on the day if Jeon Jungkook wanted to think very deeply about something specific… or nothing at all. Unbeknownst to ARMY, he had incorporated parts of your personality into his own. It worried you a bit, but it didn’t (did?) bother the fans when he started being a bit more devil-may-care (shirtless).

A good problem to have, one might say.

He often asked for your opinion on this or that. He had worried about being dishonest, about shying away from fans because he felt like he had to keep secrets. You told him to just act on his feelings when he missed them. Friends contact friends when they think of them. Why should ARMY be any different? You didn’t want him to and didn’t think he should stop interacting simply because he was in love. You had told him there was more to him than his relationship with you, and now he was terrorizing ARMY at midnight instead of his girlfriend (his habit of having no sleep schedule was slightly affecting your work life so you were very grateful when he made this decision). That was how Jungkook was. He wanted to know what you thought and how you thought about life. You would always answer honestly, even during times when you knew he wouldn’t like it. Sometimes he would go against your advice. He would usually come back and mumble, you were right, noona, so you never felt the need to scold or say anything more.

Stubborn ox.

Fucked like a rabbit though.

There was some truth to those chosen animal emojis, huh.

Anyway.

You realized that, because of your now relationship with Jeon Jungkook, your relationship with Min Yoongi was different now. Different in all the obvious ways, yes.

But also different in ways you nor him had predicted.

This.

After you lightly joked about him mentioning his soon-to-be-change in work life, it is not as exciting as you think it is, you had looked into Yoongi’s eyes and you knew. He, too, understood. It was a split second. The tension went over Jungkook’s head (he was also a bit too focused at laughing at Kim Taehyung’s appearance on Running Man, understandable), however, in that millisecond of shared gaze, you saw that something about your response had bothered Yoongi, something that he didn’t want to talk about in front of the maknae. Neither of you had ever agreed not to argue in front of Jungkook. Bicker, yes. The youngest found that hilarious. But a more serious discussion? It had never come up.

Until now.

And now you realized – and, by reading his expression and sudden turn of his head, Yoongi as well – that unconsciously both of you had always relied heavily on how well you knew the other, always relied on the many years before Jeon Jungkook to be the centerpiece of this relationship, always relied on an unexplainable telepathy that had developed from knowing the heart, relied so much so that neither of you wanted to show Jungkook anything but that indisputable harmony.

Was that… wrong?

It was hard to tell. There was probably no good answer. But there was that shared silence, the unspoken rule, and Jungkook fell asleep unexpectedly (expectedly?) sometime later, with a smile on his face and his arms around you. He was too heavy for you or Yoongi to carry. Well, probably too heavy for both of you combined too, but you didn’t try. Instead, Yoongi brought a blanket and you nestled Jungkook’s head on a pillow, taking care to give him good neck support and keep his now short black hair out of his closed eyes.

“He’s going to wake up sweating,” Yoongi commented with a smile, not pulling up the blanket too high.

“He should have thought about that before passing out. For someone who doesn’t wear a shirt in public, he keeps it on too often in private.”

“You know he only kept it on while we were laying on the sofa because you complained that one time about your hair sticking to his sweaty chest. Now he’s self-conscious.”

You stuck your hands on your hips. “Well, he should stop being so sweaty around me.”

“Sorry. You turn him on. He’s a hot-blooded animal.”

You rolled your eyes in mock distaste and turned to start clearing the coffee table of the wineglasses and empty snack wrappers. The television was on low, nothing but mumbling and light. Your hand reached out and long, gentle fingers rested on your knuckles.

You paused.

It was cooler now. Nearly fall. Still somewhat hot at times, but the nights were cold. The change in temperature reflected in the skin-to-skin contact. Your head turned, seeing his bare fair-skinned arm, then the sleeve of his large white Valentino t-shirt. Black pajama pants that matched the ones you were wearing, but you were in a dark grey sweatshirt with the bottom half cut off. Up to his face, framed now by his shorter black hair, a sign of what was to come, and then.

Yoongi looked back, dark brown eyes glimmering in the dark.

Lost.

When you were younger, it had been easy to fight.

You had been young, he had been young, and it was only you two. Inexperienced and experiencing everything for the first time, at least when it came to the realness of the emotions. Not yet knowing what either of you wanted from that word called love. Not yet mature but responsible enough to learn what was worth fighting over and what wasn’t. There were things worth worrying about and things not worrying about, the latter of which you and Yoongi chose to let go. It became easy once you both came to the conclusion that it was a conscious choice to address issues promptly rather than wasting time playing cat-and-mouse. When it came to Jungkook, then, you already knew how to read body language and demeanor, not to mention Yoongi had spent enough years being dragged around (literally) by the youngest to know everything about him.

It did help that Jungkook could be read like a children’s book. Again, he was not good at lying.

Now.

You looked back at Yoongi, also lost.

He lifted his hand away from yours.

For the first time in what seemed like forever, you didn’t know the right words to say or the correct way to read him. You could tell Yoongi didn’t know what to say either. It had become a habit to not speak too much about the things he or you had to do. You had static work responsibilities and Yoongi understood that. He had no set schedule, only bursts of time that were in unpredictable cycles despite trying to schedule things. You understood that. His life was a little chaotic and difficult. On some level, you enjoyed it, otherwise you wouldn’t be here. He knew that.

Or.

Did he?

His dark brown eyes shifted downwards. Then, back up, quickly, accompanied by a defeated sigh. You could see that he was telling himself to just say it because the silence was going to become unbearable.

“Are you disappointed?” Yoongi asked you softly.

“What?” Your voice was also quiet. “Why would I be disappointed? About what?”

When he had mentioned earlier that he would be living like you for a while, he had been referring to his mandatory civil service. You knew that. You also knew it was not something you got to decide, nor something he got to decide either. It was assigned. This was a known part of life for Koreans. It was something you could not change, something every able-bodied Korean man had to do, and something you did not look down on.

He was silent for a moment.

“I didn’t want to press on it,” you said, taking a step towards him so you didn’t have to raise your voice above a whisper. “I know you did your best in physical therapy and that you wanted to try and see if you could do military service since it is shorter time period.”

Those dark eyes came back to you. It was apparent that it was much easier for you and Yoongi to comfort Jungkook rather than each other. Being two people that were shown reality rather than having accessible comfort, it was always awkward at times like this. It was too late in the relationship and there was too much consideration to be angry over a misunderstanding, but now you could see why couples resorted to it rather than the discomfort of stumbling towards comprehension.

“Everything has a silver lining.” He smiled again, sheepish and not wanting to frown. “You taught me that.”

The words your ordinary and my special came to mind.

The corner of your lips ticked upward. “Yeah, you’ll be the most handsome civil service worker in all of the nation. It’s going to be so troublesome for them,” you sighed, shaking your head and waving your hand.

His fingertips touched your wrist.

You ceased all movement, gazing up at him.

Underneath wisps of black, those dark eyes searched yours.

“I thought you would be happy,” Yoongi admitted, his touch lingering. “I finally get a small taste of how you live. What hardships you have.”

A pained pause.

“At least some idea of ordinary.”

You took a moment to truly listen to what he was telling you.

Then, your fingers curled, caressing his thumb.

“Min Yoongi,” you breathed out, savoring his name with love and admiration. “I have chosen extraordinary since the day I chose to stay with your heart. I have never regretted a single day, a single hour, a single minute. Not even a second.” You shook your head again, lightly and in seriousness this time, turning your hand in his, not just holding it but believing in the precious power of a promise. “For the record, I don’t need you to experience ordinary life for me to feel like you understand my occasional work complaints. Hell, sometimes I complain just to complain,” you chuckled, squeezing his hand. “I only want you to trust my word. I don’t have the same hardships as you, yes, but I don’t need you to experience mine to for you to be empathetic towards me.”

He sighed and you looked up at him. There wasn’t exasperation. Only a wish that he said something sooner. “At times I feel so out of touch with most of the world.”

“You know that’s okay, right?” you quipped.

Dark brown orbs darted back to you, cocked eyebrow and slight frown.

Himself again.

You shrugged. “You are now a once-in-a-lifetime mega world superstar. Your talent literally cannot be contained in Korea. Didn’t your sold-out solo tour teach your that, hm?”

Gaze sharpening.

You smiled.

Yoongi narrowed his eyes. He was annoyed, but in a good way.

“You will be doing something many normal people do, but you have always done normal people things, you know,” you reminded him.

His expression softened, pensive to your words.

“You have famous friends in the industry, but you don’t make connections you don’t believe in. You help other music artists that many people know the names of, but you don’t do it with only profit and benefit in mind. While the situations are extraordinary, your actions are heartfelt, genuine, and what any ordinary person would do if they cared about them.”

There was something Yoongi always did when he was embarrassed at someone complimenting him and that was cringe and try to smile away the words like he couldn’t hear them. He wasn’t stopping you though. You tugged at his wrist and made him look at you, albeit with some shifty eyes.

“I’m sorry.” You held your joined hands between your beating hearts. “I have learned to expect the unexpected. I didn’t want to get any hopes up of maybe having aligned schedules in case they aren’t. I am not worried about the next couple years, but now I see that bothered you.”

A beat of recognition.

Soft sigh.

A half-smirk.

“It always kind of does.” Yoongi leaned down, forehead to forehead, closing his eyes. Your felt his hair against your skin, his warm breath feathering over your nose. “You are so capable and self-sufficient that I sometimes wonder if I am a selfish one.”

“Hah, how?” You tapped his own knuckles against his sternum sternly. “Are you fucking two dudes from the same group too?”

“Shut up,” he snickered, pressing his lips to your brow. Firm pressure. He clutched your hand tightly. “I know that I can’t give you normal, but it feels too strange that you don’t demand much. I know it is because you don’t want to pile on any stress, but…”

“Are you saying you want me to be a brat?”

A measured silence.

You pressed on. “Don’t you get enough of that from Jungkook?” you whispered low.

A defeated exhale. “I’m only saying I would understand if you were a little bratty.”

“Are you just saying that to get an excuse to spank me?”

“I don’t need an excuse. You’ll beg for it anyway.”

“Excuse me, I do not beg. I order youto spank me.”

“Uh huh.”

“Why are we whispering?” came the croaky, groggy voice of Jeon Jungkook.

You nearly got whiplash.

“Gah!”

“Woah!”

You and Yoongi both pulled away instantly, not really in fear of being seen but more in shock and mild embarrassment. Maybe you both had somehow forgotten Jungkook was there. He had been snoring a little after all. A pink twinge danced across Yoongi’s cheeks. You looked away quickly, and so did he, feeling the tips of your ears burn, not really sure why, and you felt your intertwined fingers begin to loosen.

Both of you froze as a large, tattooed hand slapped onto your joined hands and stopped them from untangling from each other.

Your head jerked, staring at Yoongi wide-eyed. He had a similar, confused expression, soft pink lips parted, blinking quickly. In unison, both of you turned your heads to the fluffy bedhead standing beside you. It was a narrow space between the sofa and coffee tables, so there wasn’t far to look.

Jeon Jungkook was much too sleepy to open his eyes fully.

“Hyung? Noona? What’s wrong…?”

You started a little at his naked pecs. “What the… Why are you shirtless?”

His left hand came up to scratch his head as he yawned. “I got hot, so I took it off… What were you guys talking about?”

“Never mind that, you should sleep on a bed now that you’re up,” Yoongi sighed, shaking his head. He began to pull his hand away and you followed suit, thinking it was safe, glancing at Yoongi who offered a wry smile with his eyes, this guy, and you smiled back, also amused.

Strong fingers tightened.

Three hands bound together.

“Hey.”

You paused, sensing something in Jungkook’s soft tone. Yoongi did too. No one looked at each other. Three introverts between a sofa and a coffee table, between snacks and cushions, between complicated feelings and the belief of a precious promise.

“Hyung’s right, noona.”

You felt your heartbeat slow.

He stumbled a little bit on his words but you barely noticed.

“I’ve never really said this before but… You are the best thing that happened to me besides BTS. I am so lucky to have met six really good guys who took care of me and taught me so much. I am so lucky to have fans that support our journey and music. I have people who have such great love for me that I would have never received if I was all by myself. But... I am also lucky to have someone like you who understands that love. Someone who never tries to come between it, someone who cares about that love as much as I do, someone who encourages me and stands by me even though I am a lot to handle and don’t listen sometimes.”

You couldn’t look at him. You wanted to say, ah, Jungkook, stop, don’t say this, but you felt Yoongi’s sharp gaze and his eyes told you, shut up and listen to this half-asleep man ramble. You shut your mouth but it was still way too embarrassing (not to mention staring at nakey JK was not appropriate for the serious atmosphere, time and place, time and place). His deep voice was a soft murmur, as if it saying these words suddenly like this was not planned. Probably wasn’t.

“I am so lucky to love you.”

A small sniffle.

“I am so lucky to have you too, Yoongi.”

You half-expected the older male to start sprouting you’ve grown up so much once again, but the words couldn’t come out and those cat-like, dark brown eyes were misty, listening.

Really listening.

“I was talking to Taehyungie and I… I realized…”

Jungkook’s fingers caressed your hands.

“Because of you and Yoongi, I have it easy… Everything… Everything is easy. I never feel like I don’t have your attention when I speak to you. You can always tell when I’m stressed and can get me to talk about things even though they might be silly or it’s a situation you’ve never really been in.”

“Feeling frustrated or sad about your everyday life is normal,” you quietly interjected.

You heard the gentle appreciation in his voice. “And you never made me feel like my everyday life is not normal, even though it clearly is.”

You looked up.

Jungkook was staring at all three hands. His eyes were heavy with drowsiness and perhaps something else. A heaviness of words unsaid, maybe, or maybe he was just honest and the thought popped into his head right now.

“Well, I do kind of, sort of, possibly, know someone already who has the exact same lifestyle as you,” you lightly joked.

But.

There was a softness under those lashes and kindness that galaxy of stars in those dark brown orbs.

“I know. And I know I don’t have to explain anything. I don’t have to go through any troubles. I know I can trust you. I don’t have to worry. And that makes me lucky.”

This.

It was true that you didn’t need to hear all this to believe it was fact. You didn’t need, no. But hearing it, and then it hit you harder than ever before, the inexplicable feeling, the naturalness, and Jungkook looked up when he sensed your silence, meeting your eyes, you looking back, into big brown eyes that could be cool, could be sexy, could be endearing, could be anything, but all they said right now was, I love you.

The thought popped into your head.

Wow, he really has matured a lot.

“I’m not doing anything special, Jungkook,” you chuckled softly, about to shake your head but he caught your eye, stopping you in your action.

“You are, noona. Hyung knows, I know, and, like you say to me all the time, it is okay to be a little selfish sometimes.”

“I…”

But you couldn’t look at him anymore, feeling your cheeks flush and your hold tighten, placing your left hand over theirs and pulling your body closer to them. You didn’t have any particular selfishness, really. Truly, what more did you need than Min Yoongi and Jeon Jungkook trying their best? You didn’t need any grand actions. You only needed to know their hearts were in it. They always were, no matter what, always meaning well, and this small bubble was enough, this contentment was enough, but also you realized that maybe, maybe once in a while.

Maybe it was nice to hear that acknowledgement.

“I only want you both to be yourselves. I don’t want your happiness to be taken away because of numbers, because of what people say, because of unnecessary expectations. That is all I ask for,” you murmured, blinking quickly and taking a slow breath. “I am a simple person deep down. I don’t want to be a burden. There are still so many amazing things you two can do and I don’t want to be the one to hold you back–”

You felt Jungkook’s hand leave yours and Yoongi’s.

Suddenly, strong fingers plonked onto the crown of your head and yanked your head back to face two rather vexed expressions.

“Noona, not trying to be rude, but are you actually listening to anything I’m saying?” Jungkook grumped.

You fixated on his two lip rings and the bouncing mole underneath that frown.

“What?”

Yoongi’s hand also left yours and landed on your shoulder. “We appreciate you. We love you. You are not a burden. No one is questioning your intentions. Please, if you want something that we can give, say it and let us do it for you. A little lost sleep, a little inconvenience is nothing.” He sighed with slight exasperation. “There are things we can do, or can try to brainstorm alternatives, even if you think it’s a little unreasonable.”

“Also, why aren’t you looking at me?” snapped the younger male impatiently.

“Uh.”

“It is not like you haven’t seen Jungkook naked. In fact, I think the whole world has seen him naked.”

“Hey!”

You cleared your throat. “I have absolutely zero problem with a missing shirt,” you corrected firmly, still avoiding anyone’s eyes and (more importantly) chest. “I… I have simply realized this conversation is quite serious and I am trying not to get distracted by anyone’s nip–face.”

A light pat on your shoulder.

“Is communication turning you on?”

“Min Yoongi, I will bite you.”

“I like it when you’re feisty. It’s hot.”

You jerked your head around and poked him in the chest roughly, which did nothing to stop that signature smirking face.

“Noona, it’s been a while since you bit m–”

“Don’t say anything,” you cut him off, snapping your wrist to also (sternly?) prod Jungkook in the (naked) chest. “You are the most trouble–”

The younger male grinned, playful and devilish.

You completely forgot Korean all of a sudden.

Jungkook patted you on the head.

Infuriating.

“You’re so cute, noona.”

You swiped at him, gripping his forearm and growling. “I’ll show you cute–!”

Smooth like butter (like a criminal undercover), Jungkook bent his elbow, devious smirk widening, yanking your hold and your stubborn ass forward before you could realize your mistake, gasping as you felt the hard muscle and graceful simplicity of the movement. Suddenly you were right in front of his face, chest-to-chest, to a brilliant smile and a large nose poking the top of your cheek, playful laughter and his other arm around your waist, pulling you closer.

This idiot was flexing his tattooed bicep right next to your dropped jaw too.

“Whatchu think? I’ve been trying to work out still but I’ve been eating a little too well lately.”

You grasped his forearm tighter.

Not helpful (but also helpful).

“Be quiet,” you managed to squeak out, jumping as you felt hands on your shoulders and a low, husky voice chuckle next to your ear.

“Discipline him.”

Not your boyfriends ganging up on you and preying on your kinks to…

Oh.

You relaxed.

Ah.

Raised your head.

Jungkook gazed back at you, smiling wide, expressive big peepers telling you all you needed to know.

You’re equal, noona. You always have been.

It still wasn’t the easy to say, but it got easier every time because every time you were more and more sure of how much you meant it.

“I love you.”

He said it back, your eyes sparkling in his. You turned your head and said it again. Hundreds of times, thousands of times, millions, didn’t matter, Yoongi said it back, a small kiss to your hair, murmuring, comfortable against you, and you faced Jungkook again, sharpening your tone to seducing sternness, hm, Jeon Jungkook, you really think you know who you’re dealing with, a promise of precious love expressed in (right) body and (right) mind because it was important to say but also to do. Important to feel but also express. Important to be selfless but too much selflessness was also selfish in a way when someone only wanted to feel a little needed now and then, even in a small way, in held hands and lips-to-lips and skin-to-skin.

Yes, the next few years would be different.

They would also be interesting.

You looked forward to them because you trusted them and you trusted yourself. There was always a silver lining. Every day was a new adventure. There was no need to be afraid. After all, one stopped living life once they became afraid.

You wanted to be present.

Every hour, every minute, every second.

-

The last moments came and they ended with a laugh.

"Don't get sick."

His small, teasing smile said, who are you, my mom?

"Do your best."

The playful eye shift said, eh, I'll think about it.

You smiled back. A slow breath. Your fingertips lingering, sensations of adoration, a million words exchanged between your gazes. Min Yoongi reached up and closed his hand around yours, holding it lightly. There was a lot being said. A lot of memories made and to be made. A lot of future to look forward to. Conversations in the quiet breathing and in the rhythmic pulse of your joined touch. Hands that told stories.

"I can't tell you how much I love you," you chuckled softly. "That would be really embarrassing."

A good-natured smile that hid a laugh. "Yeah? I couldn’t tell you how much I love you either. And, anyway, there's plenty of time. Years and years to elaborate."

A precious promise.

"Yeah. There's plenty of time," you quietly echoed.

A stillness.

This entire exchange didn't last that long to the outside world, but there was forever in his eyes.

Yoongi smirked. Time to get a move on. "Don't get into too much trouble."

You grinned. Leaned in and gave him a delicate, soft kiss.

Whispered against his smile.

"I would never do anything that is not allowed."

This time Yoongi didn’t hold back and laughed.

-

part xvii ... relationships were not allowed.

--

masterpost

[emoelrics]

How Asa Captures the Experience of the Modern Teenage Girl

I truly have to applaud Fujimoto for his writing of Asa Mitaka. It’s been a while since I have seen such an inspired character and truly excellent writing of a teenage girl in shonen manga. In most shonens, the experience of a teenage girl is reduced to stereotypes like the tsundere or a love interest for the protagonist. *cough cough Naruto* But Fujimoto really shines bright among writers by turning his previously teenage boy led manga to a part led by deeply troubled and melancholic teenage girl.

Part 2 opens with a loss of autonomy specifically bodily autonomy which is something teenage girls are all too familiar with. Teenage girl’s decisions are made for them without any consideration of their own feelings and opinions. Parents, guardians, and other authority figures feel the need to make decisions  on behalf of the overly emotional and volatile teenage girl. Teenage girls are never taken seriously and no one really cares to sit down and listen to them. It is a prison -- to be caged in a body and mind that no one cares to pay attention to.

Teenage girls also lack their own bodily autonomy both physically and sexually. Teenage girl’s bodies are policed heavily and overly sexualized. Despite the over sexualization of their bodies, teenage girls are not empowered to make their own sexual decisions. While Asa is not overtly sexualized in the way she is drawn, we can tell that her body and other teenage girl’s bodies are deemed for consumption by authority figures. The teenage girl is never safe even if she is respectable, conservative, and demure; grown men and authority figures will still be tempted. As is exemplified by her teachers budding relationship with the class president and lust for Asa.  

I thought that it was so fascinating that the direct cause of Asa’s death is her male teachers lust and her classmate’s jealousy. It echoes true for many cases of grooming and it is an experience many girls are all too familiar with. Girls who are groomed lash against their peers due to the lies spoonfed to them by their adult male groomers. They will never find solidarity amongst fellow teenage girls instead they seem them as sources of competition. 

Not only does Fujimoto capture bodily autonomy and sexual desire perfectly, he perfectly embodies the inner monologue of teenage girls. Puberty for teenage girl’s is a pivotal moment in their lives. Childhood and innocence remain so far out of their reach as they are forced to mature quickly due to the nature of our society. 

These facts make it unsurprising that teenage girls exhibit high rates of mental illness. In a CDC survey, it was found that more than 57% of high school girls  “persistent feelings of sadness or hopelessness.” Asa completely exemplifies this. She is lonely, sad, and isolated. With no one to trust or turn to for support, she is prone to destructing coping mechanisms. 

One of which is suicide as is covered in the falling devil arc. The crushing loneliness leads to an inability to trust peers/adults which further contributed to Asa’s suicide attempt. And in our modern day, 30% of the girls surveyed reported seriously considering suicide and 13% attempted suicide one or more times in 2021.

Young people in our day are struggling with the crushing fate of the world -- climate change, capitalism, and social upheaval. This contributes to mental illness. Asa too faces a similar fate -- a world marred by violence, lack of accountability and support from authority, and destruction left and right.

All in all, I am just so happy with how Fujimoto has written and dealt with Asa’s character. It’s real, raw, and respectful. And I’m sure so many teenage girls who read Chainsaw Man must find some sort in Asa and the struggles she deals with.  

[noonesgaylikegatson]

A Definitive List of over 100 Films featuring Gay/Bi Men of Color

Macho Dancer (1988)

The Fruit Machine (1988)

Tongues Untied (1989)

Young Souls Rebel (1991)

Anthem (1993)

Farewell My Concubine (1993)

The Wedding Banquet (1993)

Shinjuku Triad Society (1995)

Happy Together (1997)

The River (1997)

Pusong Mamon (1998)

Hold you tight (1998)

Gohatto (1999)

Punks (2000)

Iron Ladies (2001)

Lan Yu (2001)

The Road to Love (2001)

Mango Souffle (2002)

Yossi and Jagger (2002)

Proteus (2003)

Brother to Brother (2004)

Formula 17 (2004)

Star Appeal (2004)

Chicken Tikka Masala (2005)

The King and the Clown (2005)

My Brother Nikhil (2005)

Boy culture (2006)

No Regret (2006)

RagTag (2006)

Blueprint (2007)

Soshite, Harukaze ni Sasayaite (2007)

Pleasure Factory (2007)

All of my life (2008)

Antique (2008)

City without Baseball (2008)

A Frozen Flower (2008)

Lovebirds (2008)

Noah’s Arc, Jumping the Broom (2008)

Boy (2009)

Do Paise Ki Dhoop, Chaar Aane Ki Baarish (2009)

Soundless Windchime (2009)

Bashment (2010)

Dunno Y Na Jaane Kyun… (2010)

Fit (2010)

KickfOff (2011)

Lost in Paradise (2011)

My Brother the Devil (2012)

Mixed Kebab (2012)

Morgan (2012)

One Night and Two Days (2012)

The Skinny (2012)

Speechless (2012)

Leave it on the Floor (2013)

La Partidoa (2013)

Peyote (2013)

Snails in the Rain (2013)

Hidden Away (2014)

Hot Guys with Guns (2014)

My Bromance (2014)

Night Flight (2014)

Praybeyt Benjamin (2014)

The Way He Looks (2014)

Yo Soy la Felicidad de esta Mundo (2014)

Aligarh (2015)

Beauty and the Bestie (2015)

Blackbird (2015)

The Blue Hour (2015)

Daddy (2015)

Eat with Me (2015)

Fire Song (2015)

How to Win at Checkers (Every-time) (2015)

Out in the Dark (2015)

Loev (2015)

Naz and Maalik (2015)

Thanatos, Drunk (2015)

Time Out (2015)

2 Cool 2 Be 4gotten (2016)

Dear Dad (2016)

Front Cover (2016)

LUV Don’t Live Here (2016)

Kapoor & Sons (2016)

Moonlight (2016)

The Pass (2016)

The Super Parental Guardians (2016)

Teenage Kicks (2016)

Alaska is a Drag (2017)

God’s Own Country (2017)

Method (2017)

My Son is Gay (2017)

Play the Devil (2017)

The Wound (2017)

I am Happiness on Earth (2018)

Noblemen (2018)

Dear Ex (2018)

I Miss You When I See You (2018)

Voyage (2018)

Kalel, 15 (2019)

The Panti Sisters (2019)

Socrates (2019)

Funny Boy (2020)

Your Name Engraved Herein (2020)

B-Boy Blues (2021)

Gameboys: The Movie (2021)

Barrio Boy (2022)

Bhaadai do (2022)

Cobalt Blue (2022)

Fire Island (2022)

Golden Delicious (2022)

Marry My Dead Body (2023)

Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe (2023)

[eregyrn-falls-art]

Here's my 2023 Art Year in Review!

Oof. Yeah, not a great year for output. As you can tell by my having to put in some photos I took for May and October, since I didn't have any drawn art for those months. What I used for January and Sept. is definitely fudging things (in a "hmm close enough" way.)

So, here's the damage: 15 pieces total (all but one full background and color); 54 individuals.

BUT.

I'm not going to be super hard on myself, because this year is when I organized a big fan project that I'd been wanting to see get done for years and years -- the "Trouble" multi-artist lyric comic. (Art here, video version here by the amazing @stariousfalls.) As I've said before, absolutely awesome seeing 72 people step up wanting to do a big GF fan project in 2024! I was truly blown away by what a spectacular job everyone did.

And while I'm noting some of the stuff I can feel good about, I was happy to finish the Stan Twins meet the Jersey Devil comic that I'd also been meaning to finish for years.

So, not a great year personally, but some things to feel satisfied about.

Saying it here: my new year's resolution is just to DRAW SOMETHING in every month. Even just one thing!

Links below the cut.

2022, 2021, 2020, 2019, 2018, 2017

(For this year's images, I am in the process of updating the original posts with image descriptions in the image ALT text. I should have all of them done by the end of tomorrow, January 4th.)

January: Fiddleford as Disney Mirrorverse Kermit

February: GF Finale 7th Anniversary

March: Not What He Seems 8th Anniversary

April: DTIYS: Mystery Farm AU Stan and Jackie

May: (a photo I took of a sunset that I didn't even post, lol)

June: The Pines family and Paul Bunyan Day

July: My Portal Ford page for the "Trouble" lyric comic

August: A pinch-hit Stan page for the "Trouble" lyric comic (collab with @stephreynaart)

September: My polaroid for the "Trouble" lyric comic

October: Sunset photo from LBI in October

November: Fiddleford Friday - father and son fishing

December: The Pines family around a Winter Solstice campfire

Template by @mossygator

[toasttt11]

introducing octavia

Octavia Wren Hughes was born September 9, 2003 she was born first and 8 minutes later Luke was born.

Octavia never once played on a girls hockey team growing up as Luke and her did not want to be on separate teams so Ellen had Octavia join the boys team and she never left.

Octavia has always enjoyed anything with art and from a young age anyone could tell the talent she had with painting, it became a passion that she loved almost as much as hockey.

2021 was the year that Octavia and Luke were drafted in the NHL, the day they dreamed of but also dreaded because they knew their was like a 4% percent chance they got on the same team, meaning they would have to be apart.

Octavia Wren Hughes was drafted the second overall pick of the 2021 NHL Draft to the Toronto Maple Leafs. Luke Warren Hughes was drafted fourth overall of the 2021 NHL Draft to the New Jersey Devils.

Octavia committed to the University of Michigan with Luke, no one in the family knowing she denied the offer to join the Maple Leafs right away wanting one more year with her twin.

Octavia spend the year of collage enjoying as many moments with her twin brother knowing it was most likely the last time they ever play on the same team.

Octavia and Luke have always been attached at the hip, and most of the times just look at each other and understand what the other wants or is saying.

Octavia is the most similar to Jack, she got a lot of his sass and they share a lot of the same play style on the ice. The two tease each other the most and love to compete against each other.

Quinn has always been a good grounding place for Octavia, Octavia always felt like Quinn always understood all of his siblings extremely well and always knew what to do and say.

Quinn is the person Octavia looks up to the most and is always trying to make proud, seeing how much Quinn has accomplished from his hard work and seeing how Quinn deserves all his success.

Octavia went to the 2021 WJC without Luke as he was injured and her parents couldn’t come because of Covid so it was just her. The team had a hotel next to the rink so she could walk there. The first night she couldn’t sleep so she walked to the rink and scanned her pass and went to go onto the ice when she noticed someone else on the ice and that’s where she met Simon Nemec. The two got to know each other well as they spent almost every night on the ice playing hockey together while talking.

When she got drafted her phone blew up from phone calls and messages from the Leafs team, they were all very accepting and excited for her to join the team.

When Octavia joined the team for the first time she fit in extremely well, The whole team loved her and her sarcastic comments and she just fit with the team very well.

Octavia was reminded a lot of Jack when she met Mitch and she never minded listening to Mitch talk for a long time, most of people couldn’t ever stand listening to someone they long and Mitch really appreciated it.

Octavia loves dogs she always has, and when she went to her first team party seeing four dogs there, she was so happy and the team quickly realized how much she loved dogs as she sat with the dogs all night playing with them.

Octavia has a personality that is very different than Jospeh and it surprises everyone when they saw how close the rookie got with the goalie.

Octavia and Matthew got extremely close as they were in the same draft class, the tow went to the developmental camp together and we’re roommates so they because fast friends.

The team noticed that she sometimes just looks sad and then noticed how happy she was to talk about her brothers especially Luke, or when she is on call with Luke how happy she looked with her twin, they realized she was missing her twin brother a lot.

When Octavia moved to Toronto and the days she had some free time she would go to places she went to as a kid, and sometimes would go the outside rink that was Luke’s favorite to feel a little closer to him.

Octavia has never been a fan of shopping like her mother has, so a lot of them Ellen will just buy stuff for Octavia to wear, but Octavia has always loved leather jackets and sneakers and her closets are mostly leather jackets and sneakers.

Octavia has always loved tattoos and when she turned old enough she slowly started to get small and easy to hide tattoos. Her first tattoo was a number she got on the inside of her wrist that is usally covered by her bracelets but she got a 6, as her whole family has all played with number 6 and there is six of them.

[letgoandfallforyou]

Rating LGBTQ+ Movies I have watched

Patrik, Age 1.5 (2008) - 8/10

Fair Haven (2016)- 8/10

The 10 Year Plan (2014) - 6/10

Crush (2022)- 7/10

Elisa and Marcela (2019)- 5/10

The Christmas Set Up (2020)- 8/10

Portrait of a Lady on Fire (2019)- 10/10

Princess Cyd (2017)- 8/10

D.E.B.S (2004) - 10/10

Saving Face (2004) - 8/10

But I'm a Cheerleader (1999) - 9/10

Booksmart (2019) - 9/10

Weekend (2016) - 8/10

Carol (2015) - 9/10

Pride (2014) - 10/10

Handsome Devil (2017)- 8/10

Dating Amber (2020)- 9/10

Maurice (1987)- 10/10

Big Eden (2000)- 7/10

Prom (2020) - 5/10

A New York Christmas Wedding (2020)-6/10

Happiest Season (2020) - 7/10

Imagine Me and You (2005)- 8/10

Boy Culture (2007)- 5/10

God's Own Country (2017)- 9/10

The Way He Looks (2014)- 10/10

Boys (2014)- 9/10

Bedrooms and Hallways (1998) - 3/10

Is it Just Me? (2010) - 4/10

My Beautiful Laundrette (1985)- 7/10

The thing about Harry (2020)- 7/10

All Over the Guy (2001) - 5/10

Beautiful Thing (1996) - 9/10

Touch of Pink (2004)- 4/10

Shelter (2007)- 9/10

Latter Days (2003)- 8/10

The Old Guard (2020)- 10/10

The Half of It (2020)- 6/10

Love, Simon (2018)- 7/10

Brokeback Mountain (2005)- 9/10

Dashing in December (2020)- 7/10

Breaking Fast (2020)- 8/10

Just Friends (2018)- 9/10

Single all the Way (2021)- 7/10

Bros (2022)- 7/10

Still so many more out there that I haven't watched so please give any recommendations (I have a preference for ones with happy or hopeful endings)!

[cellophaine]

hi, happy new year! first & foremost i love all your work, highlight of my 2021; it always got me giggling & kicking my feet LMFAO i was wondering if you could do a slow burn (the reader could be a vigilante working alongside daredevil), & it’s the enemies to lovers trope, with the italicized oh/ah for realization, angry love confession & all, if you know what i’m talking about. & one of them goes “please-“ in a breath of a whisper & the other just slams their lips into theirs. sorry if this is a lengthy request LMAO do what you want with it!

I'm very sorry for the 10-and-a-half-month-long wait! This was a long request, so I did try to put everything together in a way that makes sense. I hope you'll enjoy it!

Futile Devices

Pairing: Matt Murdock x GN!Reader

Word Count: 8222.

Warnings: Violence. Light angst. Enemies to lovers. A tiny mention of decapitation. Blood. Injuries.

Author's Note: I wrote this with a female reader in mind, but there's no mention or indication of Reader's gender.

Holy shit, this is the longest thing I've ever written. I hope you guys won't be bored to death lol.

*The events in this fic took place after Daredevil season 3*

GIF Credit

The familiar click of the coffee pot registered somewhere in his keen hearing, but he didn't seem to notice. Matt was going through a series of motions, scrambling his eggs, flipping his bacon, getting his plate and mug ready for his breakfast, all while his mind walked on a frenzied march he couldn't keep up in the recollections of that night. That night was long gone, five days into the past, but it was still fresh and present to Matt, no matter the logic he came up with. He tried, and failed. Again and again. It haunted him in his few hours at nights of lying awake, and his days of paperwork and court affairs. Matt had to admit this could be something worse than he initially thought.

The last thing he needed was a new assassin in town.

Thin as a hair thread. That was how close Matt was to failing to save another's life. A criminal's life, but a life regardless. He almost lost it to the hands much more brutal than him. Much more merciless. Even more so than when Matt lost himself, haunted by his mistakes and Elektra's death, tormented by his own malice, of what he would be capable of had he let his pain consume him whole. The fact that someone was out there with such force and cruelty was alarming. It wasn't your ruthlessness that confounded Matt; he was no stranger to it, but everything about you.

You evaded his sweeps and blows as if they were nothing, as if he was only a martial arts enthusiast and not the Devil of Hell's Kitchen. The gracefulness in your moves made you look like a ballerina to his enhanced senses. The sharp gusts of air from your movement cut his skin like a dull blade, and Matt suspected the purpose was not to hurt him, but to warn. You rendered him almost helpless, meeting him for every strike. A good match in all the wrong ways, for all the wrong reasons.

You had the agility and deadliness of the Hand's lifeless soldier, which made Matt think you were one of them. Still, the steady rhythm of your heart said otherwise. It was as real as the sharpness of your dagger when it slid across his forearm. Your mercilessness was not the most fatal part of you. The precise delivery of your weapon almost took a life, and even though Matt prevented that from happening, he felt as if letting your victim live was your decision, not his. He was only a witness who was at the right place, at the right time. Your escape was silent and swift, leaving no trace for him to follow. No matter how hard he tried, he could only detect a subtle scent of wet earth in the air, and nothing else. Since then, Matt had spread himself thin, patrolling the Manhattan area, even as far as Brooklyn, asking for his friends' help in places he couldn't reach, like a confused hound dog on a blind chase. The clues he picked up were only fragments of a bigger picture you were a part of. Days passed, and the seed sprouted from his curiosity of you kept growing, yet his search gave him nothing to attach you to.

Not until tonight, when your ruthlessness struck again.

You took hold of the man's collar, tugging on his tie, making sure that it sat tightly at the base of his throat. His face turned a dangerous shade of red, blending in with the crimson liquid and purple bruises all over his skin. His mouth opened to take in desperate gulps of air as you wrapped the remaining blue-striped tie around his neck, making a noose.

"Pl-please … don't do this. I have a wife an-and … a daughter. I have a family. Please!"

You sighed, bored and fed up with what he told you. In the face of great danger and near death, they always said the same thing. You would know since you had lost count of the men and women who had told you they had families. Unfortunately, none of them was alive to testify that.

"I know you do, Eddie. I had one too, at one point. But they're all gone now …."

You tugged hard on his tie, making him choke on the restricted and precious breaths. His face, stained with tears, only stroked your confidence. You almost had him. Just a little more, and you would have your next victim. Or victims, if he was so generous as to inform you.

"Tell me names. Better yet, point me in their direction, and I just might spare you."

Eddie shook his head, whimpering pathetically.

"I can't. They'll know it's me. They'll kill me."

You ran your beloved weapon along the side of his torso, hinting at the possible chance of you cutting him up at any moment like he was a rag doll. You rested the edge of your blade against his bloated stomach while he tried to stay away from it as much as possible with his legs and hands bound. There was no use in doing that, but he desperately tried, wriggling and struggling against the confines.

"It's either me or them that will end your life. So choose."

You dipped the blade into his side. It wasn't too deep, just enough to draw blood. The metal parted his flesh with little resistance, smooth and easy as if cutting through a leaf. The man before you cried out in pain; his prayers were half screams, half cries and all the agony. He sputtered, choking on the words he desperately tried to get out.

"Imani! Imani Campbell! She's the head of security f-for the Stromwyns. She and h-her team have access to everything!"

You pulled the blade free, patting his face softly as you cooed at him.

"There we go. Wasn't that easy?"

The man sobbed uncontrollably. Blood seeped out from his dress shirt, staining the fabric a dark red. You registered a soft thud from behind; the sound, accompanied by a low voice, made its presence known.

"Let him go."

The deep timbre in his tone was familiar, even though you barely exchanged a word that night. Only grunts of exertion. Twirling the dagger in your hand playfully, you took hold of the hilt once more before slamming it into Eddie's temple, knocking him unconscious. What you might have to say to the man behind you might fall on Eddie's deaf ears since he was only a thin thread away from passing out, but you preferred not to leave that up to chance.

You turned around to face him, fastening your bloody dagger to the strap on your thigh. Your gaze assessed him as you took a few steps forward. The man from the night before returned with a fresh bandage on his forearm, courtesy of your blade.

"I'm sorry. Who are you?"

Your voice was light but alert. You pushed your tongue against the roof of your mouth, keeping the smile off your tone. You wondered what he had to say.

"I should be the one who asks you that."

You chuckled to yourself. An expected answer, but different from what you anticipated from him. You figured as much.

"I thought you should know who I am already, considering what you've been up to lately, Matt Murdock."

The muscles in his body were pulled taut in his straightened posture, locked up in alarm, and you didn't miss that.

"How do you know my name?"

You tsked, shaking your head in mock disappointment.

"Don't feign innocent now. You were looking for me, trying to sniff me out like a dog."

His hands balled tightly to the sides, and you could see the tension in his jaw, even from a safe distance away.

"How do you know that?"

"By doing the same thing as you did. I like to be five steps ahead of everything, you know? That's how I stayed out of your radar."

You were prepared and well-versed to the point it felt like a game. A game of hide-and-seek, catch-and-release. Just simple as that. You spoke over your shoulder as you turned on your heels, returning to the unconscious man.

"Now excuse me, I was in the middle of something."

He was silent and fast. Before you could give Eddie the second slap to his cheek, Matt seized you with his arms around your torso and dominant arm, dragging you away from Eddie. He backed you into the cement railing; the hard and rough texture dug into your back. He pinned your arms back, spiking pain and discomfort along your body. Nothing you could handle. Your heart rattled in your chest as you looked up at him; his laboured breathing reverberated and mirrored your own. You stayed like that for a few moments, studying each other. You felt no fear, yet your heart thundered, your blood pumping for something else.

To your surprise, he smirked as if he had caught onto your wandering thoughts and foreign feelings.

"You're not scared. You're not even frustrated. You're… excited."

You held your tongue, waiting for him to continue his assessment.

"Perhaps this has something to do with me. Having someone on your level."

You huffed a biting chuckle, your eyes trained on the part of his face exposed to you. Plump lips accentuated by light stubble, adding softness to his rugged intricacy. A strong jawline that you wouldn't mind caressing, stroking the scruffy hair on your fingertips. And putting your dagger to it. You would place your fingers on the delicate pulse on his neck while you did that, feeling the panic coursing underneath his skin. But you suspected your foe wouldn't be scared off by a sharp blade that easily.

"Maybe I do like a challenge. At last."

Fearless to the point of arrogance. Matt was dumbfounded, then it clicked: you didn't know who he was. You might be new to this city, its politics and underground scenes. Maybe you were here on a chase for something, someone dangerous, following the trail of blood, corruption and murders. It led you to his territory, which he had slowly but steadily returned to protect. When Matt told you as such, a skip in your heart told him he was right. You went still against him, and goosebumps rose along your skin. Still and rigid, a stark contrast to your confidence and playful manner just moments ago.

Either way, whether you were familiar with the area or not, Matt had to clarify one thing.

"You must stop what you're doing."

"Which is …?"

You dragged your sentence, feigning innocence. The slight lilt in your voice should irk Matt, but to his surprise, it didn't. It glided on his eardrums, soft and soothing, which had started to distract him. Just a little bit, Matt assured himself. He lied some more when he told himself that your body, pressing snugly against his, was not the reason for his slipping focus. Not at all. Your body was warm; Matt could feel it even through your suit. The unconscious man's blood on your gloves enveloped his acute sense of smell, steering him back to the conversation he was having with you.

"Killing those criminals. Taking lives that aren't yours to take."

You fell silent, and Matt could hear the grind of your teeth. The muscles in your jaw grew taut, and he had no doubt that he had struck a nerve. Matt paid extra attention to another scent entering his olfaction. Subtle, yet refreshing, like wet earth … after the rain. And all of a sudden, it made sense to him. Perhaps you used a scent like that to blend into the element around you, becoming one with your surrounding. Leaving no trace. Just like that night when he first met you. The more Matt learned about you, the more fascinated he became. But he wouldn't have known that yet. Not at that moment.

You pushed yourself up, pressing your chest flush with his. Your voice was low in contrast to your guards, which were high and tall, and you hoped they wouldn't topple over.

"Just like you said, they were criminals. I don't kill anyone that doesn't deserve it."

Your answer didn't satisfy him by the way his jaw clenched, his lips curved downward in disapproval.

"What they do is wrong, but that doesn't mean they deserve death. Two wrongs don't make one right."

Your hands tugged on the skin and bone shackles he had on you, but he wouldn't let up. Your skin prickled in frustration.

"I'm weeding the bad out. You should thank me since I'm doing you a favour."

He tightened the hold on you, making an imprint on your wrists.

"They deserve second chances for redemption. How can they change for the better if they're not given a chance to do so?"

Okay, now you were beyond annoyed. Who the hell did he think he was? To walk all over you, to jeopardize your mission. To act as if he was the one with authority.

"Stop with the fucking lectures! Not all of them deserve that."

You thrashed with all you might, desperate to escape his hold. But Matt held on.

"They're humans. They make mistakes, just like you and me."

That snapped something inside you, something that had always been there. You tipped your head back and slammed your head to his face. Matt let you go as he held a hand to his nose. You delivered a sharp blow to the base of his throat, right below his Adam's apple, effectively choking him. He sputtered, taking a few steps back, holding his throat while you followed him like a predator. Anger and grief took over, like a storm waiting to be unleashed.

"Spare me that bullshit!"

You grabbed his shirt, gripping it and pulling him back to you before throwing him against the brick chimney.

"If you know so much about the way this …"

Matt held a hand to his nose, swiping the runny liquid onto his hand. From the feel of it, a small part of his nose was splintered, but other than that, no serious and long-lasting damage. You took hold of him again, throwing him against the bricks.

"… thing works, then tell me. Tell me how it feels to have my entire life stolen from me. To have my family taken away, to have those barbaric so-called human beings abuse me, torture me, put drugs and chips inside of me like I'm no less than a toy? I'm nothing more but a weapon, a tool for their profit. And when I finally escaped and tried to have a normal life with a normal guy, they found me and took that away too?"

You leaned closer, and Matt could sense something other than his own blood. The salt of your tears, the blood rushing in your veins, fueling the rattling rhythm of your pulse.

"Tell me, Murdock. Tell me how it feels like to come home one day, and find your love's decapitated head on the bed you shared, in the only home you've ever known?"

And then there was nothing, only your heavy breathing and his; the wind died down, and the city carried on. Matt thought about the accident years ago, losing his sight, then his father. Stick came as abruptly as he left, and that was how he spent most of his teenage years alone and aloof. Matt couldn't shut out the clamour of crimes happening around him; he was helpless to it. When he decided to do something, to take charge, Matt lost more than he gained. Still, there was Foggy, who brought so much joy to his life. Foggy's presence was a blessing. Then came Elektra, who made him feel heard and understood when no one else could. Being with her was an ever-changing mesh of euphoria and affliction that stuck with him, before and after. The fights he had fought for the better only brought more pain to his life, full of losses.

The words manifested on his tongue, but he didn't say any of them. Your pain was your own, and it was immeasurable. Matt held both hands out in a gesture of peace. And when he spoke, the words were ripped right from his heart.

"I am sorry for everything that happened to you. I won't say that I understand everything what you went through. But I do understand why you're doing this. Trust me, revenge is not everything."

"No, you don't know anything about me."

Your tone was sharp. Final.

"Let me guess, you have some sob stories too?"

He swallowed hard, and you knew you were right.

"I guess that's why we turn out like this, huh? Inflicting pain on others because we can't bear our own."

It hurt more than the healing wound on his arm, than the forming bruise on his throat. It was as if your dagger had sunk into his chest and twisted until his heart was nothing but a mangle of tissues and vessels. He protected Hell's Kitchen; he had kept it safe with his violence. Deep under the overlapping layers of his good conscience, he knew it was another way for Matt not to face his own pain. The past year was the embodiment of that. No matter how much time passed, he knew that time would always stay with him, reminding him of the destruction he had made.

"Stay out of my way if you know what's good for you."

You turned on your heels, stepped onto the ledge and jumped. Your gracefulness landed you on the fire escape as you descended, blending in with the surroundings once more. Matt tipped his head back onto the warm bricks and caught his breath, deep in thoughts and the scent of you lingering behind.

Wet earth. Fresh rain. The saltiness of your tears.

Matt came home to his empty apartment; frustration and pain burned his skin, grating his insides. His throat hurt, the wound on his arm throbbed, and his nose stung, but at least it had stopped bleeding. Matt knew he would have to take it easy for the next few nights. Matt peeled off the dirty suit, undoing the hand wraps quickly. Standing in his boxers, he went to the kitchen and turned on the kettle. The small machine hummed as it heated the water inside as Matt prepared his tea. While waiting for the water, he went to the bedroom and grabbed a zip-up hoodie and sweats before gingerly them on, careful of his injuries. Matt went through the motion automatically because he didn't allow himself to stop and think. Not yet. The kettle whistled a high-pitched note, dragging him to the kitchen. Water was poured, tea steeped, and honey added. Matt settled down at the kitchen table with his mug, hissing softly as his aching muscles voiced their discomfort. Matt closed his eyes, letting the steam of chamomile soothe his eyelids before diving into everything he knew about you. Which was not much at all. But he had more now than he knew of you six nights ago.

Rubbing his throat, Matt took a sip of his honeyed tea. He recalled the sound of your voice, the inflection of it when you were angry. The piercing rawness of it when you cried. He got to learn another part of you that he had tried to reach. You were in the position to knock him out swiftly, to kill him even, but you didn't. You spared him of your own volition. He might not know your name, but he knew your pattern now. You struck precisely, seizing someone on the weaker links and climbing up. However, singling out one of the lawyers on the retainer for one of the most notorious crime families gave him a clue of what you came to New York for. Even though it was out of character for you, it gave him a hint of where you could go next, and Matt wasn't going to pass out on this chance. The crime family you targeted was someone he had an interest in himself. The Stromwyns. They were a force to be reckoned with, and from what he knew of you, you acted alone. It was personal from your history with them, and he suspected you wanted to take them down yourself. Matt would admire your bravery if it wasn't so reckless and incredibly foolish. But on what ground could he judge you, considering that he did the same thing?

Your fist curled tightly, your knuckles drenched in blood and mangled flesh of your own and your victims. But you wouldn't stop, not until you got what you wanted. A swift punch followed another on Imani's broken face. Her bodyguards and associates laid unconscious a few feet away, leaving only your ragged breaths and the woman's pained whimpers echoed in the destroyed meeting room. You usually wouldn't strike them at their base, where they could easily call for backup, which they did, but you felt particularly reckless tonight. You were up for a challenge, and you almost paid for it. The searing pain on your side was the throbbing proof. You wanted to speed your investigation along, too impatient to wait. You had done enough of that. Still, this stubborn woman before you wouldn't give in. You could feel your temper rising, and soon, you wouldn't be able to control it. Imani was a delicate knot in an elaborate scheme that you couldn't solve by cutting her string short. You didn't take out her whole team for nothing, especially when your venture for revenge ended up being something bigger, something more sinister than you thought.

You gave Imani's face a slap. She came to before you, despite her drooping eyelids.

"I know the Stromwyns are planning something big. Tell me what it is."

She gave a bloody smirk, her teeth stained red. She tried to keep her head straight, her eyes bored into you.

"No."

"Should have saved that energy telling me what I want."

Another jab, and she fell to the floor. You propped her up against the table, pulling out the blade concealed on your thigh.

"One last chance. I won't be so lenient this time."

The thumps of his boots made it to your ears, and you felt the air change slightly. Maybe it was just you. His footsteps drew closer on the once pristine marble floor behind you, entering the crime scene. You closed your eyes, already knowing what he would say.

"Don't do this."

You didn't bother standing up to greet him this time.

"I've killed before. This will change nothing."

"Believe me. It will."

His tone was the same. Kind, soft, imploring for the part of you that no longer existed. Yet, he still searched for it, drawing it out. You would lie if you said you couldn't feel the tug of his kindness and patience on your heartstring. It was just that you couldn't afford to follow his call.

"Why are you still trying? Why waste time on me?"

You had to know whether it was his Catholic guilt, and you were his charity case, or it was something else entirely. It wasn't like New York's shady marketplace lacked assassins for hire. You knew that as much.

"I was you before. You think you're irredeemable. But you're not. You still have a chance to turn around …"

Your real name on his tongue sounded foreign to your ears. It affected you in a way you didn't think possible. The sound triggered the alarm going off in your head, screeching in your ears. You slowly rose on your feet, exhaling an unsteady breath. You had isolated yourself and made acquaintance with no one. The shock of Matt finding out shot unnerving prickles along your skin. You used his name in vain to gain an advantage, while he used yours in the hope of steering you back to yourself with such an intricate tenderness. And that made you angrier than ever.

You closed the distance between you, wielding the dagger between your skilled fingers.

"Who do you think you are? Waltzing in here with your talks, when you're doing the same thing as I am–"

"I don't kill–"

"Same - fucking - shit! Just because you don't kill doesn't make you better than me."

Your words were punctuated with each swipe of your weapon, which he easily dodged. You were blinded with rage, with a wave of anger so potent that you could only release it when your blade had sunk into his flesh. You knew deep down if you stopped, your weaker emotions would get the better of you. Your fury consumed you whole, fueling every step as you advanced toward the infuriating figure that seemed to have so much trust in you.

"Stop it! I know you have it in you to stop. I know it feels good to get revenge, but it will ruin you."

Matt only dodged your blows and not once fought back. It only fueled your boiling rampage.

"Shut up! Just … shut up and fight back!"

It was harder to ignore his voice and what he said now. His words were like vines, slipping through the cracks of your control, taking root quickly. But you were broken; no one could mend you. You had long accepted that you would never be someone you once wished to be. This was your life. Full of rage, violence and loneliness. That was how you would die. Your demons would always follow you, then, now, and when it was your time to depart this world. You were beyond saving.

The quiet click of a gun made you whip your head toward the sound. You couldn't see clearly through the veil of tears that had started trailing down your cheeks. That was when you realized that you had been crying. It was such an appalling recognition that you didn't register the bullet leaving its chamber. Everything that happened after that was so fast your mind couldn't catch up. You could only feel. You felt the rough contact of his body against yours when he tackled you, the hard marble floor on your back when you crashed. Matt continued to shield you with his body over yours as a few more shots rang out. He cried out suddenly as a bullet hit him; his body jolted but didn't move an inch. You tried to push him off you so the two of you could run for cover, but he wouldn't budge. Suddenly, it became eerily quiet except for some empty clicks, followed by a sharp cry of pain as Imani got up and took off toward the exit. You pushed Matt off, getting yourself ready to run after her, but you ceased acting on your instinct. Matt tried to rise with one hand braced on the littered floor, his lips parted to expel a pained groan. Your foggy mind replayed the feeling of him lunging for you, saving you from the bullets' line. You blinked, watching as your whole body trembled, the bloody blade unsteady in your hand. Your target had escaped, but that was the least of your concern right now. You looked to your saviour, fixed on the ghastly look on his almost unmasked face. His eyes stared straight ahead, his mouth opened agape, and his movements shaky before he dropped to the floor with a sickening thud.

Matt woke to the unfamiliar surrounding, with strange air and the companion of another's presence. He found himself almost naked, saved for his boxers, nestled between the warm sheets that definitely weren't the silk he used to. Despite its roughness, it was just as nice as his own, as it possessed your scent, earthy and soothing. Matt had grown to like it. A pleasant mix of you and his own blood, which he could sense as he moved to set his feet on the floor. Matt ran a hand through his face, rubbing the sleep from his eyes, and felt no resistance. He seemed to only recognize the missing safety of his mask now, and for a brief moment, he panicked. It was soon washed away when the gentle breeze carried something else in from the open window. A scent of moss, morning dews, and vines seemed to attach themselves to the brick exterior of the building, like soil after the rain. It reminded him of how you always blended in with your environment. And the thought eased his concerns. If you wanted him dead, he wouldn't be alive right now. But Matt was here, in your home. Hurt but alive, the rough gauze on his thigh reminded him.

Matt took a few unsteady steps as he oriented himself, getting familiar with the surroundings. The search for the door was a success, and he opened it to step into a different world. A different feel. The space was warm and pleasant, with sunlight coming from the right side, and the aroma that hung in the air felt homey. Upon further inspection, Matt could smell freshly chopped parsley, rice, and chicken. In the midst of everything were you and your ever-steady heartbeat.

Without turning around, you directed him.

"Take a seat. Food is almost ready."

As soon as the words left your mouth, you bit onto your bottom lip, feeling a little out of place. There was something strangely domestic about the way you told him to make himself comfortable. Even though you did try to kill him just a few hours before.

Matt searched for the seating and sat down, his back resting nicely against the cushion. He closed his eyes, soaking in the warm sun. You let yourself look at him from where you were standing, taking in how peaceful he seemed. How at ease. He seemed different, yet still the same as the person who had followed you, matching your violence with his own just to urge you to turn the other way. Realizing that you had been staring at him for perhaps too long, you whirled around to tend to the steaming food. With the porridge done, you turned the stove off before pouring a good portion of the hot dish into two bowls and sprinkling some parsley on top.

You put the bowl in front of him with a soft thump, and his eyes lazily slid open. The spoon made a small clang on the wooden table as you set it down on his right before going to your seat. Matt picked up the spoon, taking in the dish before him. It was steaming hot with a savoury aroma of rice, chicken, herb and seasonings.

"I didn't poison it, don't worry."

Matt huffed a soft chuckle.

"I trust you."

"You're way too trusting considering what you do."

That made him smile. Matt took a spoonful of the food, blowing it for good measure before giving it a taste. A pleasant and hot feeling engulfed his tongue before it smoothly chased down his throat. The taste was delectable, flavourful and wholesome. It warmed him inside out.

"Seasonings are on your right. Just reach your hand out a little."

That made Matt pause for a moment, but he didn't say anything. You continued your meal in silence, and the air between didn't feel tense or forced. Outside of the enclosed space, New York was a bustle of sounds.

Your spoon made a small clang on the side of the bowl, and it seemed like you decided it was more than enough to start a new conversation.

"I'm guessing from the way you are not panicking or overwhelmed or freaking out, you've been blind for a long time?"

No beating around the bush. He liked that. People walked on eggshells around him, around his disadvantage, for a good reason. But Matt didn't need coddling. He definitely didn't need protecting, either.

"Since I was nine. Freak accident."

"Freaky indeed."

Those two words marked the end of your conversation. Matt occasionally felt your intense gaze, watching him carefully as he cleaned the bowl. Once his and your hunger were satiated, you put the dishes away in the empty sink. Matt stood up to help, but his good intention was quickly forgotten as he hissed lowly in pain. He touched the area around the wound, feeling its mouth crack, allowing the blood to seep into the gauze. Matt winced, and it didn't escape your watchful eyes.

Rummaging around your kitchen, you poured him a glass of water and set two pills in his palm.

"Take these. Or don't. I don't care."

Your halfhearted concern warmed his heart. He knew your intention behind it, and the little spike in your heart never lied. Matt took the pills as you walked away, fetching the medical kit.

"Can I see your wound?"

He nodded after a brief moment. You dragged your chair to settle beside him, and your thighs exchanged accidental brushes. Your touch was careful and tender as your hands worked on his broad thigh to unwrap the bloodied bandage. Matt's jaw clenched, holding back a pained groan as you pressed gently around the tender area. You cleaned up the blood with a clean cloth, precise and swiftly. Not a word passed between you as you secured the wound with a sterile bandage until you asked if you could see the injury on his side. There was something serene, tender and peaceful about the way you took care of him, as if you had done this many, many times before. As if you had known each other for a lifetime.

Once finished, you pulled away with a gentle squeeze on his knee before working on your injured hands. You sighed in exasperation as you undid the hand wraps. The torn skin on your knuckles was red and angry, staring back at you as they throbbed a warning melody, giving you no choice but to listen. You would have to take it easy for the time being.

Lost in your thoughts, your hands pulled on another roll of gauze when Matt's warm hand on your wrist startled you, sending a pleasant prickle to your skin. Your eyes widened as Matt extended an open palm, wordlessly offering to help you dress your wound. You stared at him, your eyes flicked at the upward motion of his brow. Tentatively, you passed the white fabric to him. Matt held you in his hands and quickly assessed your knuckles. Your hands were colder than his, calloused and scarred, like a written memoir of your past that you carried all the time. He tried not to think about the smaller, barely-there scars you probably obtained from your younger years. You were older now, yet, your fight hadn't ended. The path you walked on only led you further into the woods like a prisoner who still fought even though their chains were broken, their prison door unlocked. He wanted to focus on the now, where you were safe, alive and with him.

Judging by the echo of your apartment, it was spacious, cozy and most likely expensive. It was a bold move, living in the heart of Manhattan. You were almost fearless, that much he knew. Matt had no doubt that you knew what you were doing, considering your profession. Maybe your name on the lease was fake, or someone owed you a favour. A very big one.

"How do you afford this apartment?"

Matt kept his voice light, distracting you from the sting of disinfectant.

"How do you?"

You asked him with just as much airiness, if not more. He chuckled softly, shaking his head as you found yourself smiling with him. You continued as the crinkles around his eyes deepened in amusement, remembering that you probably knew where he lived.

"I kill for a living. Sometimes. I'm pretty good at my job, remember?"

Matt took a deep and sharp breath, and you bit your tongue. It was too much, and you felt stupid for making that joke.

"I only take on jobs that target the Stromwyn. Nothing beyond that. Anyone with mutual interest benefits me."

"I know."

"Do you now, smartass?"

Matt could hear a slight smirk in your voice. It was refreshing to see you so relaxed, so … different from what he had known of you. But then, you were full of surprises. Silence fell over you like a thin veil; the only sound left was his movements, wrapping the bandage around your hand.

"Don't you get tired of it?"

The strokes of his hands were soft, certain as he wrapped himself around you. His warmth spread to your hands, making you shiver. Just slightly. You took a long moment to yourself, mulling over what he said.

"I do. But I can't stop. They're still doing it to children, to little kids like … like I once was. I'm a result of them, and I won't be the last."

His grip on your hands tightened, careful of your injuries. Matt brought your intertwined fingers closer to his chest, urging you to look into his unsighted eyes. Upon the near distance, you noticed the hazel gleaming in the bright light of your kitchen, holding more than just your attention.

"What they did to you is not who you are. They don't get to make you into someone you don't want to be."

His words were kind, his touch was soft, and they suffocated you. You jerked your hands out of his as if his touch burned you. A reflection of hurt took shape on his furrowed brows and curved lips, and you felt sorry for pulling away. When did you turn so soft for a man you barely knew?

"My firm can bring attention to their organization. With a big case like this, it can't stay under wraps forever. I have connections, and I can assure you that there will be people looking into this. We can work together. I can help you. Let me. Please."

You swallowed hard, feeling queasy in your seat. You stood up, and Matt followed, but he gave you space when you started pacing. You had known for a long time that you wouldn't be able to do this by yourself. The Stromwyns' influence ran deep. It would take more than an assassin with a want for vengeance infused in her blood to uproot that. To completely dismantle their organization, you would need a miracle. And Matt just might be that miracle you need. You sighed heavily, bringing your nervous pacing to a stop. You held his unseeing gaze, more for your sake than his, as if to seal your fate.

"Fine."

Matt offered a hand to you, initiating a physical agreement. After a brief moment of fleeting contemplation, you held his offering hand and shook. He pulled you closer to him by your skin-on-skin attachment, making you take a sharp breath as the sudden movement grazed your wounded skin.

"No killing."

You tugged on his firm clasp, and he wouldn't let go.

"Fine. No killing."

Matt only released you then, and you were all too eager not to have his hands on you again. That was what you told yourself, even though your heart thrashed unhappily at the traitorous thought. The tingling feeling on your fingers was back, and your mind raced with the possibilities of an uncertain future and foreign feelings.

Matt delivered on his promise. It was a long fight, stretched over two years, but the outcome was victorious and sweet. Nelson, Murdock and Page investigated and gathered evidence with witnesses, bringing the case to New York's district attorney. The ordeal was blown up, which brought in law enforcement from the higher-up. The news of the Stromwyns controlling important assets throughout New York, infesting neighbourhoods with gangs and criminals to secretly collect "protection money" from the residents, was brought to the media, pulling the attention of the whole country. When things began to come to light, the Stromwyns issued a bomb threat in an attempt to bury the whispers. It backfired as the warning was proven real by you and Matt on your investigation at night. The FBI quickly acted on the lead, making arrests for the whole family. The Stromwyns were forced to liquify their assets, and their accounts in foreign countries were seized and frozen by the CIA. Unfortunately, before law enforcement could put all of them in cuffs, some members of the family had already fled to Europe, according to the intel you obtained illegally.

It amazed you how a team of three managed to make such an impact, how relentlessly and tirelessly they worked to get people involved. You were also a part of that team; Matt told you no matter how hard you denied it. He introduced you to his friends and partners, Foggy and Karen. Even though they were skeptical of your relationship with Matt, they took your intel seriously and worked with you. You kept your distance, knowing they weren't comfortable being in the same room with an experienced assassin as in Matt's past, and you were fine with that. You had a working association with them, striving for the same outcome. You weren't there to make friends.

You weren't sure what to make of your relationship with Matt. Something had changed, but you didn't want to acknowledge it. You couldn't. It wouldn't be fair to him when you had to leave eventually. You had each other's back when you scouted for new information, when you infiltrated the Stromwyn's warehouses. Those fights didn't often result in grave injuries; when they did, you took care of each other. Small and big damages. Matt ensured that you looked after yourself and wouldn't agonize over your past. He was there to soothe you in his secure embrace when you had a nightmare. It was almost as if his arms and hands had morphed around your frame, embracing you, making you feel at ease when your grief was too much. You would wake up thrashing in his arms when the needles were too close; the stiffness paralyzing your body felt too real. Eventually, your place or his wasn't a matter since you would always end up in the same bed at the end of everything, whether due to exhaustion or nightmare-filled nights into early mornings. Whenever you woke with a headache, he would have his special tea readied, along with medicine at your request. You were afraid that he would spoil you rotten, and if you got used to his affection and care, you would never be able to leave. You couldn't stay, couldn't allow yourself that one thing. You had shared too much of yourself with him, and you were afraid you would be left with nothing if you kept on giving. You knew you didn't deserve him. So you packed your stuff up and booked a flight to Germany, following the trail of the scattered Stromwyns. You decided to leave without a word, but Matt had another idea.

"Don't do this to me."

Call you sentimental, but you had come to the rooftop of your building one last time to soak in the sound, the feel, and the air of this city. There was nowhere else quite like it, and the reason wasn't entirely due to the man standing behind you. You didn't have to turn around to know it was Matt. Your apartment was empty now, doused in the warm late afternoon light. Matt stood before you, his dress shirt creased, his tie crooked, his hair ruffled, and his face flushed from exertion. He must have run from his office in Hell's Kitchen to your apartment in Midtown Manhattan. You extended your gratitude to Karen and Foggy in person for helping you with the case before Matt got there, nothing else. You guessed they were suspicious of that and told him, even though you didn't show anything out of place. You wanted to get this over with.

"Do what?"

"Leave. Leave New York. Leave me."

The wounded edge in his plea twisted the knife that was already embedded in your heart.

"I told you. I can't rest when they're still out there."

"Let the authority take care of that. Don't be reckless."

The tone in his last sentence was stern, reprimanding as if you were a child out of line.

"Me? Reckless?"

You turned to face him, appalled at his audacity.

"I followed your 'no killing' rule. These bastards are still free because of it."

Your hands helped enunciate each word you threw at him, even though it was fruitless. You were making a point for yourself. An excuse to leave.

"They can't run forever. You've done your part. You've suffered enough."

Matt erased the distance between you, getting close enough that you didn't want to step back. You would miss his warmth.

"Stay. You have friends here."

His tender intention thrummed on your nerves, coaxing your guard like the sweet honey he always put in your tea. His words were so convincing that you felt like you could be fooled.

"No, I don't. I don't have anyone."

You stubbornly turned your head away, unable to look at him.

"You have me. Foggy and Karen, too. They don't say it but they do care about you. And I do, too."

"You don't mean that."

"Yes, I do."

He said it with so much conviction. You wanted to believe him.

"I can't, Matt. I don't know who I am without this."

The constant running, following, chasing. The continuous shutout from people, shielding yourself until you were isolated and all alone. In a way, your violence, pain, and loneliness were a way for you to punish and protect yourself. That was how you stayed anchored to reality, never strayed too far from your cruel fate, and never looked at what you could have been.

"You're still you. The strongest, most stubborn person I know. Even when you don't know yourself, you'll get there eventually. Stop running and allow yourself a chance to live the life that you deserve. To be who you want to be."

"I'm still a murderer. That's all I am and all I'll ever be. I'm only capable of that, and I will only bring you down with me by merely being in your life."

He shook his head.

"Yes, I will, Matt. Nothing good comes with me. Why don't you just let me go?"

Your throat hurt with the stricken cry that was torn from your chest. Your eyes were wide, watching Matt through the thin veil of your tears.

"I love you."

"What?"

"I love you. Everything about you."

Matt inched even closer, and you let him step into your space, knocking down your crumbling barrier. You weren't strong enough to back away. To run. You were exhausted from it.

"Please …"

You had always been careful, five steps ahead of most things. But not everything. You didn't expect to fall for Matt, yet, you did. This was his desperate plea for you to stay, to live your life instead of hiding in the shadows, being a ghost of who you truly were. He had whittled away your defence wall, brick by brick, over the span of time you knew each other. He taught you there was safety in letting go. And you did.

In a swift and clumsy motion, you slammed your lips against Matt's, accepting his promises, love, and everything in between. His full lips were soft and addictive, parting easily to deepen the kiss. Your tongues tangled in a fiery dance, and you felt like you could get drunk on his taste alone. Like the barest hint of salt, a touch of cinnamon spice, and something else that only belonged to him. His hand tangled in your hair, bringing you closer as if it was possible. When he was finally satisfied with the absence of space in between, his hand trailed down to the column of your throat in a soft caress, before stopping at the coursing, delicate pulse. Matt pressed in with his fingertips, acting on the overwhelming need to feel you, to feel the proof as if your woven bodies and intertwined tongues weren't enough. That you were real, and you were here with him. You only parted when you felt like your body could slip away from your consciousness. You heaved hard, feeling the gasps of air on your lips as Matt touched his forehead to yours. He whispered against your lips.

"Please. Stay with me."

You closed your eyes. You were tired of running, of letting your rage consume you. You and Matt were two flames. Similar to a fault, but he brought balance to you in his own way. He soothed that anger inside you and showed you that there was more to you than your past, the deadly intents you carried in the company of your wrath. You had a chance to start over with a future that wouldn't end in solitude, with the man who had so much trust in your potential when you didn't. At last, you weren't afraid to take it for yourself, as long as Matt was with you. You nodded; your face bore joyous tears and a genuine smile.

"I'm all yours."

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