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petertingle-yipyip · 2 years

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DEVIL ON MY SHOULDER - MATT MURDOCK

two - glimpse of us

//tags: @ironprincessstranger @johnmurphys-sass @dusstory // one // three // masterlist //

Pairing: Daredevil x Exodus (ft M. Murdock x Reader)

Word Count: 8,228

Summary: Earning trust in Hell’s Kitchen is surprisingly easy when it comes to your newest ally. But one long night reveals more about all of you than you had expected (i haven’t read this since i drafted it so i don’t remember if i love it or not)

You were walking down the street, having just left Matt’s apartment. You were reading the messages Karen had sent about the DA meeting on your way to the office when your attention was caught on a vaguely familiar face. The man was ducking into a pawn shop. The man was broad shouldered, tall, with a buzz-cut. You pulled up short and saw him glance over his shoulder as he stepped through the doorway, almost staring at you.

Almost.

Once he fully entered the building, you hustled across the street and snuck in behind him. You glanced around at various objects in the display, pretending to be interested as you waited to see what the man was there for.

“I need an NYPD mobile communications rig.” The man asked the worker, his deep voice ringing through the small store. “One that get encrypted tactical frequencies.”

If you weren’t sure about his identity to begin with, you were after that.

You turned towards their conversation, eyeing the man for a second before making eye contact with the owner. You lifted a brow quickly, as if to ask what he was going to do. The shop owner swallowed visibly and you were hit with a wave of uncertainty. You smirked slightly and made your way to the main counter.

“Dealing in this shit is illegal.” The owner reasoned.

“Do we look like cops?” You asked smoothly, leaning an elbow onto the counter.

The man nodded slightly before dropping a stack of money on the countertop. The owner looked at the money for a minute before looking back to you two. His eyes darted between you and the large man beside you before nodding and disappearing.

“We?” The man - the Punisher - asked. “There’s no we in this.”

“If there’s anyone in this city you want on your side, it’s me. Especially considering how you shot the Devil in the head last night… You think he’s not gonna remember that? He’s not necessarily big on revenge, per say, but he sure knows how to get even.”

“How’d you know about that?” He turned to face you, brows furrowed as he studied your features. You held his glare with a slight smirk, gesturing to the side with the arm you weren’t leaning on. “Shit.” He chuckled. “That was you?”

“Mhmm.” You nodded. “And you shoot him like that again, you and I are gonna have real issues. Understood?”

He laughed again.

“I missed the part that was funny.” You said firmly, trying to find some emotion to use against him.

You came up empty.

“What do you want?”

“I was gonna ask you the same thing.” You shrugged. “You’re targeting specific gangs with phenomenal precision and results. I could help you, get it done and avoid Daredevil.”

“And what do you get out of it?”

You tilted your head side to side as you thought. Realistically, there was nothing you could really gain by helping him. And you were fine with that. Maybe you really just wanted something to do that didn’t partner you up with Daredevil. Maybe your finger was just itching for a trigger to pull.

“Nothing.” You shrugged a shoulder.

The owner came back with the equipment and unzipped the bag, allowing your eyes to scan the device until you found the serial number. You read the number over three or four times to commit to memory to make it easier to connect to later if you had to. There was a quick interaction and payment before the Punisher nodded for you to follow him out.

That was by no means a confirmation of your partnership but it was something to show he was interested. The owner had been yelling other items at you and trying to get one of you to spend more money. You were both nearly out when he said something that made you sick to your stomach.

“She’s barely twelve, guaranteed.” The owner offered as you two had reached the door, causing both of you to stop in your tracks.

The Punisher held the bag out to you but you scoffed. You leaned forward and flipped the lock on the door before turning the sign to read ‘Closed’. You left your bag on one of the counters and headed back towards the owner of the shop. You heard the Punisher following behind you but you didnt let it change your stride.

You grabbed the owner’s shirtfront and ignored his pleas as you put your hand on the back of his head and slammed his face into the glass countertop. He cried out as the glass cracked but you continued to ignore it and slammed his face down again. That time his head went through the glass. You shoved him back up by his shoulders and threw your fist, driving the glass deeper into his skin and feeling it split your own knuckles. You counted off in your head, every crack of his bones until you reached twelve.

“Barely twelve, hmm?” You repeated as Exodus after shoving the man away from you. He whimpered once he heard your accent, throwing his hands up to protect his face. You placed a bloody hand on the metal frame of the counter and jumped over it. “Guaranteed?”

You landed a sharp kick to his ribs, hard enough to hear him cough all the air from his lungs. You spat in his face before pressing your shoe against the side of his head, hearing him whimper in pain and desperation. The fear left a bitter taste in your mouth that made you want to gag.

“You so much as mention an underage girl like that again, I will come back and put a bullet between your eyes. Understood?”

He frantically nodded so you lifted your shoe before swinging a hard kick to his face. The impact sent his head bouncing off the wall behind him before his whole body went limp. You stepped into the back office to clean your hands before coming back and finding the Punisher still waiting for you.

“You should’ve finished it.” He said simply as you two exited the building.

You simply scoffed in response.

“Guys like that are just gonna do it again and again until someone stops them. Permanently.”

“Maybe not always.” You tried, but you knew it wasn’t you talking. Daredevil had made you soft. Well, soft-ish.

“And the voice.” He noted in a matter-of-fact tone. “What’s with the accent? I mean, really, what’s it gonna do?”

“At least I try to keep this shit a secret.” You laughed wryly. “You might as well be a walking billboard.”

“Look, I don’t need some amateur-“

“I’ve been doing this since I was a kid.” You cut in quickly. “I’m one of the deadliest assassins to come out of the Red Room since it started. So don’t stand there and call me an amateur or so help me God, I will cut out your voice box and shove it up your ass.”

You sidestepped and spun on your heel to block him.

“Part of me knew a man like you was inevitable, a man with a big ass gun and a vendetta who thinks the law belongs to him. But if you want to avoid Daredevil and the DA’s office - which are both chasing you down with the fury of hell behind them, by the way - I’m the one you’re gonna wanna make friends with… Unless you think you can take me, Daredevil, and the DA at the same time. And I promise you, Daredevil and I are not as easy marks as the Irish or the Dogs of Hell.”

He looked you up and down and chuckled slightly. You tilted your head as you read his emotions, though there wasn’t much there. He was annoyed at your pestering but also slightly impressed by your reputation and determination at that moment. He respected you, that much was easy to tell. There was an underlying suspicion of your interest in his work, but it wasn’t enough to stop him.

“Alright.” He nodded with a smirk. “Sounds like I need you.”

“You’re damn right.” You agreed. “Last I heard the DA wants Grotto to wear a wire and meet with Brass but if I know anything about Reyes, there’s something else at play.”

“Okay. I can work my end and get information about where Brass is gonna be.”

“It’s gotta be a sting op.” You spoke slowly, letting your train of thought work as you walked. “Why else would Reyes be personally involved?” You laughed once when you put it together. “Grotto’s not a mole. He’s bait.”

“For what?”

“For you.” You pulled out your phone and called Foggy.

“Y/N, where have you been? Reyes has practically chewed my head off every time and I could’ve used your help.” He said as soon as he answered. “I was hoping you were gonna come back.”

“I heard.” You replied, somewhat regretfully. “I’m sorry. I was at Matt’s and he was going through a whole thing and just…”

“He okay?”

“It’s Matt… He hasn’t been okay since college, maybe. Anyway, I need the details about Grotto’s meeting with Brass.”

“You’re gonna actually be there?” He accused and you frowned, knowing he was right.

“That’s the plan.”

“I’ll text it all to you.” He said and you could tell there was a hesitation, something else he wanted to say. You glanced at your new partner - who wasn’t looking at you - and took a few steps away.

“Go on… Say it.” You urged and he sighed. “I know there’s something bothering you so just lay it out there. You and me. Right now.”

“You’re just…”

“Fog?”

“Everything you’ve been doing lately, the leaving and the excuses… I’ve seen it all before and if you’re doing what they're doing then I- I can’t have you both doing that.”

“What are you talking about?” You pressed. “Foggy, what’s going on?”

He sighed before answering. “Nothing, it’s- It's nothing. Just tell me you aren’t doing something that’s gonna get you in trouble or get you hurt.”

“I promise I’m fine, okay? I’m not doing anything I can’t handle.”

“Just cause you can handle it doesn’t mean it’s smart.” He countered.

You clicked your tongue and pressed your lips together to hide your smile. “You got me there.” You admitted and he laughed. “Text me everything about Grotto and I’ll do what I can.”

“Sure… And Y/N?”

“Yeah?”

“… We love you.”

“We?” You chuckled. “You and Karen?”

“And Matt.”

Your heart jumped and your smile faded.

“Yeah, I know… I love you guys too.”

“Be careful. There’s been too many close calls lately.”

“Don’t worry about me. I’ll see you later.”

You ended the call and met back with the Punisher - you’d have to ask his real name later. You two walked until your phone buzzed with a text from Foggy. There wasn’t much other than a time and place. Your new friend only said that he would see you there before you parted ways.

Made you wonder how long you two would really last, but given that you and Daredevil didn’t last long at all, you didn’t expect much. Regardless of that, you made your way to your apartment and began thinking of how you would approach the meeting.

Foggy expected you to be there and you had a responsibility to Nelson and Murdock. You had a paying job to do. The problem then became that if you went as Y/N, you wouldn’t have time to sneak away, change, and meet with the Punisher in time. You’d have no excuse to leave. And if DA Reyes was there, you’d have one hell of a time getting away without her breathing down your neck.

Exodus it was.

You had your mask hooked up to your tablet and were downloading some of the recent footage to go through later. Not that you expected much of value, but maybe it could be put to use creating a filter to blur Daredevil’s face if he ever wanted to take his helmet off around you. You ignored the texts from Foggy about you showing up and even ignored Karen’s call. She texted and asked you not to do anything stupid, but it was too late. You were already committed.

You changed into your suit, pausing as you were pulling on the plated jacket from Daredevil. You looked down at the engraved ‘E’ on either wrist plate, scratching lightly at the red stain with your thumbnails. The residue of that night never quite left, the night you two took down Fisk.

The blood was still there, stained on the edges of the plates. The scars on your face that hid behind the edge of your mask. The memory of how much rage was flooding your system, the pure red haze you were seeing though. Everything was tunnel vision that night. But you had been forced to pull your punches, forced to take a step back, forced to let him live. You still weren’t sure if you were mad at Daredevil for that or a bit thankful.

You had wanted to be better after all. Daredevil was helping you get there. Were you only mad that he was holding you accountable? Mad that he saw something in you that you didn’t - not always? Or maybe you were just mad at how good he was, knowing that you’d never be that way.

You shoved your arms through and forced the thoughts out of your head. You had a job to do.

You were Exodus.

You weren’t a hero.

So you dawned your mask and met with the Punisher. You two were on the roof, watching the scene below. You watched Grotto’s hesitation as he wandered the lot, felt his absolute terror that he tried to cover. You almost felt bad for the man your office was supposed to help as you watched the diesel plow through the gates. The Punisher moved to the top of the water tower while you waited underneath. You didn’t need to be there while he took the shot.

You listened in on the police chatter, interrupted by a call from Foggy. A call from Karen. It made you realize there was no call from Matt, but you guessed he hadn’t gone either. You didn’t have much time to dwell on it before you heard the clatter of metal on metal and the Punisher came flying off the water tower.

You cursed to yourself and ducked back, reaching for your belt. You thought quickly about what to grab but the brilliant blue glow of your Bite distracted you, not to mention the sniper shots. You kept low to the ground as you came out but were quick to disarm your Bite. The snipers had put holes in the water tower which meant the water made your electricity that much dangerous, and you realized it was only Daredevil.

You slid on the side of your leg and swept Daredevil’s legs as the Punisher came in hard with one of Daredevil’s batons. Your move was just in time to get him out of the way. You glared up at the Punisher and were ignored as he swung the baton downwards. You pulled yourself up to a kneel and crossed your arms above your head, allowing the baton to smack the plates. The impact pushed your arms into your head and you groaned as you wobbled on your knee.

“We don’t have time for this.” You said firmly, flipping your hands around the baton to snatch it from the Punisher.

You threw it to the side and got to your feet.

“Ex?” Daredevil spoke through heavy breaths, clearly disoriented.

“Shut up.” You spat over your shoulder.

“Who’s side are you on again?” He challenged with a squint.

Before you could answer, you heard the radio in your implant.

‘Take the shot. Repeat, take the shot.’

Your eyes widened for a second before you moved. You dropped to your stomach just as the gunshots came again. You aimed your wrist for the Punisher’s ankles and shot a wire, yanking hard to pull him to his back. You twisted to find Daredevil, seeing that he had dropped the same as you did.

You felt the yank on your arm and looked up to see the Punisher unwrapping the wire and throwing it to the side. The two began their brawl again, seemingly unfazed by the gunshots.

“Идиоты.” You grumbled as you made your way across the roof. (Idiots.)

You realized the two were close to a ledge and you remembered seeing a glass skylight earlier. With hope you were in the right spot, you ran at them. You kept an arm up to block gunshots - though your hip was grazed - and tackled them down. You felt Daredevil’s arms wrap around your waist as he turned so you would land on top of him.

You were shocked that he would prioritize your safety over his given your foul treatment of him lately, but there wasn’t much time to dwell on it.

The impact jarred you all and the pressure of your body landing on his only ignited the burn in your hip. As you all shakily got to your feet, you pressed a palm against it and winced at the pain.

“Можете ли вы вдвоем отрезать дерьмо на две чертовы минуты, чтобы мы могли снять полицейских со спины?” You nearly yelled, aggressively pointing a finger to the ground to prove a point. Your other hand was growing hotter at your hip and you could’ve sworn you smelt the searing skin. (Can you two cut the shit for two fucking minutes so we can get the cops off our backs?)

“Tell that to your little boyfriend.” The Punisher scoffed, though you doubted he knew what you said.

“Why are you so obnoxious?” You groaned before turning to Daredevil. You noticed he was wobbling on his feet, holding his head.

You quickly tried to remember if he had hit his head. Surely the impact would’ve made his head bounce up and hit yours, but you hadn’t felt anything. It must’ve been residual from when the Punisher shot him, you realized. You reached out for him but were shoved aside, the Punisher taking your place and kicking out at Daredevil’s chest.

The motion sent him backwards and he hit his head on the wall behind him before slumping down. You glared at your partner, who now gave you an expectant look. You groaned and moved closer, throwing one of Daredevil’s arms over your shoulders.

“You’re a dick.” You muttered as you two carried the unconscious vigilante, you desperately trying to push through your limp.

“Cause you’re some saint, right?” He chuckled. He glanced over and saw the blood leaking down your leg and his stride slowed, so casually that you barely noticed at first.

“Where are we taking him?” You rolled your eyes but got no answer.

The place, you soon found out, was nothing more than a random apartment building as far as you were concerned. The roof of the random building, to be specific. You refused to help chain Daredevil up, stepping to the side to acknowledge the aggressive stinging at your side. The bullet caught you just below where your belt sat, an irritated and bright red line that left the area sticky and wet with blood. You pulled some gauze from your belt and stuffed it under the hole of your suit, clenching your jaw as you pressed down.

“Hey.” You breathed once you got the bleeding to stop. “You speak Russian?”

“No, why?” The Punisher answered, though he didn’t pay much attention to you as he finished his chain project.

“Seemed like you knew what I said earlier.” You shrugged.

He chuckled slightly as he finished the lock. He made his way over to you and knelt beside you, carefully reaching for your newest wound. He pulled the gauze away and pressed around the opening, causing you to wince and smack at his hands as new blood bubbled out.

“I just figured you were talking shit.” He shrugged with a lazy but amused smile. “It’s not too bad. Does it hurt still?”

“Yes but no, more so when I walk on it.” You answered with a sight wince as you scooted further back to lean against the air vent behind you. “It’s just a graze though, doesn’t need stitches or anything. I’ll be fine.”

“You’re pretty tough.” He shrugged before leaning over for a small kit. “Anyone else probably would’ve dropped and not gotten up… Let alone tackle us down - what was it - two stories.”

“You guys are like two dogs fighting… Neither of you were gonna stop until something distracted you. Hence, a two story fall.”

He reached for your leg again, one hand behind your knee and the other on your shin. He pushed on your shin to bend your leg before he pinched the skin together. You let out a yelp as the two sensitive edges touched but you simply tightened your hands into fists while the Punisher meticulously placed butterfly closures.

“You have a name?” You asked when he finished, backing off so you could replace the gauze and tape it on. “Can’t really call you the Punisher forever.”

“Do you?” He retorted.

You offered a lazy smile and noticed the bullet wound on his arm. You climbed up to your knees and grabbed the needle and thread from the kit. You began to close his wound without saying anything and he didn’t try to stop you, even though you could tell his instinct was to pull away and do it himself.

“They say you don’t hear the bullet that gets you… Always thought it was bullshit till now.” He said, grimacing as you pulled the stitch.

“It is.” You nodded, focusing on the movement of your fingers. “Well, for me at least. I’ve heard every shot taken at me. They usually miss… Couple get lucky, I won’t lie. Learned the hard way to pay attention to everything.” You shrugged casually.

“What about you, Red?” The Punisher called, turning his head towards Daredevil. You hadn’t realized he was awake. “The other night when I cracked off your forehead, did you hear that?”

You tugged the next stitch hard and he glared at you. You raised your brows in a slight challenge as Daredevil thrashed against the chains. He nodded with a small smirk and raised his free hand in surrender.

“You can pull on those chains all night.” Your accent found you as you warned Daredevil before tying off the thread and biting off the rest. Your thumb ran over the now closed wound and you nodded in satisfaction. Not your best work but still pretty clean, given there wasn’t a ton of light on the rooftop.

“Only way you get out of here is if we let you.”

“We?” Daredevil scoffed. “You’re with him now?”

“You didn’t leave me much choice.” You rolled your eyes.

“Don’t give me that.” He shook his head. “There’s always a choice.”

“Not for me. Not after what you did. You’re lucky you’re even alive.”

“You didn’t take my mask off… Why?” Daredevil spoke, his expression hidden as he turned to you.

“Don’t give a shit who you are.” The Punisher answered.

“Not you. Her.”

You moved closer to your former partner, a slight limp in your stride. He must’ve noticed that your footsteps sounded different because you were hit with a brief feeling of concern, concern for you and your well-being. Part of you wanted to assure him that you were okay, that you just got nicked, but the bigger part didn’t care if he was worried. Sure, he was your friend - maybe - and your old partner, but those days were over.

Exodus and Daredevil were done.

You dropped beside him and his hand went searching for yours, despite his limited reach. You sighed to yourself and gave him your hand, just to be kind. A weakness, you knew, that only he could manage to create in you. His fingers wrapped around yours tightly and through both of your gloves, you felt that relief - the familiarity - jolt through your fingers.

It made you think that maybe Exodus and Daredevil didn’t have to be done. But which of you would change for the other? Which would break first?

“How do you know I didn’t?” You countered after a seemingly eternal silence as your thoughts had been processing. “When he shot you in the head, I was there… All night. I saw him do it. I could’ve seen your face then while I waited for your friend to show.”

“No, I don’t think you did.” He said softly and tilted his head towards you.

You wondered why he didn’t believe you. Maybe it was the fact that he knew the identity secrecy was your idea, how adamant you were that you two couldn’t know anything about each other.

But didn’t you want to know? The power you could have over him, the way he would have to beg for you to keep his secret. The way he would have to give control of his future to you. Didn’t you want that?

So really.. Why didn’t you look that night? Why waste time waiting on the roof?

Maybe it was just out of respect, a professional courtesy.

“Why would you say that?” You asked in the same low tone.

“You’re not one to give away your leverage.” He nearly smiled. “And I know you, Ex. This guy-“ He shook his head. “He’s not who you wanna be. He’s not-“

“You done over there, Princess?” The Punisher called suddenly.

You turned and saw him already looking at you with an amused smile and raised brows. You flipped him off and he chuckled.

“Call me that again and I’ll shoot you myself.” You said firmly.

You realized then just how often moments like that went with Daredevil. One of you would crack the other’s exterior, get a glimpse of the person under the masks and under the costumes. Only for reality to snap you back like elastic, pulling you out of that instance of peace and back into the fight. Back into the brawl. Into the blood.

You shook the realization and focused on keeping the men on the rooftop calm. You drummed your fingers against your leg, watching little white waves come from the light impact. They floated across the roof before dissipating and you felt irritation brewing, but it remained at a manageable level.

“You’ve killed everyone else… Why am I still alive?” Daredevil announced. “I’ve gotten in your way twice now. Her, I get.” He nodded to you and you rolled your eyes. The fact that he thought he had some insight into your logic made you want to shoot him yourself. “But you don’t seem like the kind of guy to just let that happen.”

“You should stop instigating.” You announced, pushing to stand. “You’re nosy, always have been. It’s gonna land you in a bad situation one day.”

“One like this?” The Punisher joked.

“Oh, yeah. Maybe.” You nodded before shrugging. “Hell, maybe one worse.”

“Military grade hardware.” Daredevil continued. You scoffed and crossed the roof. “And you carry yourself like a soldier… What are you gonna do with all this?”

“I’ll do what’s required.” The Punisher answered.

“Y’know I’ve heard that line before. That you have to do it and you’re what they deserve.” Daredevil chuckled bleakly and turned his attention to you, only for a second. “But you’re wrong. You’re wrong because it’s not-“

“Not this again.” You groaned. “You think you’re better than him - better than me - because you keep some moral high ground. And I’m tired of it! I’m tired of trying to be different, to be like you. Because I’m not and it’s exhausting to try.”

“How many does this make?” He yelled past you, though the Punisher was ignoring him. Your new partner offered you his thermos and you staggered over to see what it was. “Ten, maybe twenty times? How long has it been? Your whole life?”

“Nosy bastard.” You grumbled and sat beside the Punisher, sniffing the open thermos before taking a tentative sip.

“No one else has to die.” Daredevil continued. “You can stop now, walk away.”

“Walk away?” The Punisher repeated as you handed back his thermos. “Could you do that? Could you walk away?”

Daredevil was quiet.

“I tried.” Your voice filled the silence, though it sounded distant as you spoke. Your eyes remained fixated on a suddenly interesting crack in the concrete. “I’ve had to leave people behind and I thought I could walk away… Hang up these little bracelets and the suit and just be myself, live a normal life. But it never worked. I was always drawn back in because someone was trying to kill me. Or threaten people I cared about. Now they don’t get the chance.”

The church bells tolled, dramatically punctuating your words.

“Midnight.” You nodded and lifted your eyes, seeing the Punisher on the side of the roof.

“You gettin’ tired, Princess?” He teased, making you pick up a nearby rock and throw it at the back of his head.

“St. Matthew’s.” The Punisher chuckled as he looked in the direction of the church.

“You a Catholic?” Daredevil asked in gentle shock.

The Punisher looked to you. You shrugged slightly since it didn’t change anything for you. So was Matt and so was Daredevil. What did you care?

Matt and Daredevil… Hmm.

His attention flipped to Daredevil for a second before focusing back on his original task.

“Once.” He said simply.

“From New York?”

“Once.”

“You still go to Mass?”

“Stop it, Red. Stop digging.”

You listened quietly as Daredevil spoke. He spoke of New York with such tenderness, a deeper understanding of the city and how it affects people. He was quick to try and get your partner to open up, though those attempts were quickly shot down.

But you found that Daredevil’s voice was… different this time. He wasn’t speaking with the usual low gruffness he usually used. He wasn’t trying to be intimidating or cold. He was just talking but it was extremely familiar. The comfort you felt as you digested his voice - not his words - was something that you had only felt around Matt, Marc, Steven, and Natasha when you were younger.

But who exactly was he?

“You gotta be somethin’ when you’re not wearing the long johns.” The Punisher teased.

Daredevil glanced at you and it made you wonder if you were the only reason he didn’t outright say it, in that moment at least. “I’m just a guy.”

You zoned out of their conversation after that. They continued to antagonize each other in hopes of getting a confession. You paid it no real mind until you realized your new partner was gesturing to you as he spoke. By the time you focused in, his point was made and he was coming to sit beside you again.

“Why am I here?” Daredevil simply asked.

“Your way doesn’t work, in case you hadn’t noticed.” You chimed in. “I’ve told you before that you have to finish them, not just knock them on their ass.”

“So what he’s doing is better?” He asked bitterly. “You can’t trade lives.”

“What we do is out of necessity.” The Punisher clarified, earning a scoff from Daredevil.

“You’re not the only one, you know.” Daredevil pressed. “C’mon, who did you lose? Or you, Exodus? Huh? Someone you loved? Boo-hoo.” He mocked.

You shook your head and pushed yourself up while he continued to talk. There wasn’t much thought behind your actions other than a sparking anger in your chest, a burning disbelief that he could be so nonchalant about loss. You moved to kneel in front of Daredevil, silencing his words. You pulled your arm back and threw a right hook to his jaw.

“Loss doesn’t work the same for everyone, Red.” Your new partner chuckled.

Another punch. How dare he sit there and mock loss.

“We don’t pick what fixes us.”

Another punch. What did he know about what you’ve lost? What you’ve had to give up.

“Makes us whole.”

Another. Daredevil knew nothing. He could never understand the depth of your loss.

“Gives us purpose.”

One more hit before crossing the roof again. You heard Daredevil spit, likely a collection of blood. You huffed loudly as you sat back down, rubbing your tender leg.

“What kinda name is The Devil of Hell’s Kitchen, anyway?” The Punisher continued.

“Quit instigating.” You groaned.

“I didn’t choose that name.” Daredevil defended.

“You’re not exactly running from it.” The Punisher urged as he gestured to the horns.

“I don’t do this to hurt people.”

“No? So what? It’s just a job perk?”

“You once said ‘I’m doing this because I enjoy it’ before putting a man in a coma.” You cut in quickly. “You burned and resuscitated a man that I could’ve killed and saved so much trouble. You saved a man who you called a cancer to this city when I had him on his knees, about to beg for his life. You’ve sent men to the hospital with broken limbs, comas, and one coughing fit away from their deaths. You cause more pain than we do.”

“I don’t kill anyone.” Daredevil reasoned but you were hit with a wave of his uncertainty, a wave of his disappointment.

“Is that why you think you’re better than us?” The Punisher scoffed. “That why you think you’re a big hero?”

“It doesn’t matter what I think or what I am.” He argued.

“What you think matters when it comes to me.” You accused firmly. “Then your opinion is the only one that matters.”

“People don’t have to die.”

“You believe that?” The Punisher scoffed.

“He does.” You sighed in annoyance as Daredevil answered “I believe it’s not my call and it ain’t yours either.”

“Deciding if they live is the same as deciding if they die!” You countered loudly, vividly remembering the first night you two met. “I’m tired of the same shit from you, day after day. Night after night, since I got back here! You put that costume on. You decided you were gonna beat the shit out of people and try to scare them straight.”

The Punisher pushed himself to his feet and you waved a hand. He helped you up and allowed you to limp ahead of him to Daredevil, almost as if he was making sure you didn’t need or ask for help. You knelt down and the Punisher was beside you.

“Guess what, Сорвиголова? It. Doesn’t. Work.” You said firmly. (Guess what, Daredevil?)

“I think you’re a half-measure.” Your partner pressed and you chuckled. “I think you’re a man who can’t finish the job. I think you’re a coward… And you know the one thing you can’t see? You’re one bad day away from being me.”

“He doesn’t believe you.” You sighed, dropping to sit flat. “He’ll never believe you. He thinks his faith in God and belief in second chances will keep him on the right path.”

“Someone’s coming.” Daredevil said, choosing to ignore you.

“I’ll say this once. You make one sound and I’ll open his head all over this roof.” The Punisher warned.

“Hey.” You said, reaching for his arm as he stood. “That guy has nothing to do with this. Don’t.”

“Better keep him quiet then.”

While the Punisher - Frank - spoke to the owner of the building, you stayed beside Daredevil. He continued to struggle and strain against the chains until you had enough. You leaned forward and positioned your knee between his legs, the other foot on the outside of his hip. You slammed your forearm against his chest and pressed your other wrist to his throat while the blue of your Bite shone. He let out a groan as he hit the wall behind him.

“Why are you doing this?” He asked you softly, nearly a whisper though his voice found the gruffness you were used to. “Why are you working with him?”

“Shut up.” You muttered, not looking at him.

“Exodus, come on. You’re better than this.”

“How would you know?” You faced him. Your eyes traced the hastily repaired line down his helmet, remembering the night it happened and the one who found him the next day. “How long have you known Franklin Nelson?”

“You know him?” He didn’t bother hiding his shock. “You really did stay that night…”

“Is he why you cared about Y/N?” You continued on your newest suspicion that arose from that night. That maybe you knew him outside the suits already. “When she was attacked by the Russians.”

Everything about him seemed to soften when you said your name. But it only made you more on edge. How did he know you? And who was he to you that the simple mention of your name, the simple thought of you, was enough to practically melt him?

“She-“ He began gently though Frank was already coming back. You moved to Daredevil’s side as your partner came into view. “You get off threatening innocent people?”

“Listen carefully, okay?” Frank said angrily as he came and pressed his gun to Daredevil’s forehead. “You listening? Feel it?”

Your old friend didn’t cower or move away, rather pressing his forehead against the gun. You hopped up as quickly as you could and pulled your own gun, pointing it at Frank.

“Drop it.” You said firmly. “Or I swear to God, Frank, I’ll put a bullet in you before you can thumb the hammer.”

He glanced over and saw your stance not faltering. He nodded slightly before taking a couple steps back and lowering the gun. You hesitantly did the same but kept an eye on Frank’s hand for a moment longer.

“You still gonna defend him? Despite the shit he’s been talking all night and the high horse he rides around on?” Frank challenged.

“I’ll suffer my own consequences for it later.” You shrugged. “You don’t get to kill him.”

“Fine.” He shrugged before facing Daredevil again. “I’m not a bad guy, Red. Neither is she if she’s willing to save your sorry ass.”

“You think you’re anything else?” Daredevil chuckled in disbelief.

“The people I kill need killing. That’s what I think.”

“You left men hanging from meat hooks!”

“You did what?” You asked Frank as he climbed a billboard later.

“He didn’t tell you about that?” Daredevil said in amusement.

“Neither did you if you found them like that.” You said over your shoulder.

“When was I supposed to? When you were dodging my calls?”

“Frank?” You turned away, annoyed once again with the masked vigilante.

“They got off easy in my opinion.” He reasoned from above.

“You shot up a hospital!”

“And nobody got hurt who didn’t deserve it.”

“My friend was in there.” You said firmly, thinking of how Karen screamed on the phone that night. “Would she have deserved it?”

“Don’t tell me you’re buying in to this crap.” Frank rolled his eyes.

“What happens the day someone decides you guys deserve it?” Daredevil called.

“Then they better not miss.” Frank answered simply as you replied “More than enough already did and failed.”

“You can’t treat this city like your personal shooting galleries!”

“What do you do?” You challenged. “You act like it’s a playground! You beat people up, throw them in jail and act like a hero. But guess what? They end up right back on the streets! You think what you do is better than what I’ve done? What he’s done? What happened when Wilson Fisk is back and goes after your precious little Y/N?”

That made him jerk against the chains and you smiled wickedly. Maybe you could use yourself as leverage, you realized.

“So you two will just put ‘em in the morgue, huh?” Daredevil replied bitterly.

“You’re goddamn right.” Frank said firmly, his conviction palpable.

“You ever doubt yourself?”

“Not even for a second.”

“She does.” Daredevil turned to you and your jaw tightened. “She doubted herself time and time again. And I was getting her through it. But then you come around and act no better for her than the Red R-“

“You don’t get to speak for me!” You cut in angrily, swiping a hand through the air angrily. You watched the red sparks at your fingers. “You hardly know anything about me or the Red Room so don’t throw that place around like it means anything to you.”

“I think you and me - you and her - me and her, we’re all the same.” Frank explained as he came to sit in front of Daredevil again. “You hit them and they get back up. We hit them and they stay down. Permanently. We make sure they don’t make it out in the street again.”

“What about hope?”

“You wanna talk about Santa Claus?” Frank mocked and you almost laughed.

“It’s real, Frank. It is. It’s real and it’s possible. She used to believe in it too, in redemption. Isn’t that what you wanted when you got here?”

“That’s what you thought I wanted.” You clarified calmly. “I gave up believing in that a long time ago and I told you that.”

“The people you kill deserve a chance.”

“What? To kill again?” You scoffed. “To kidnap another kid? To sell another girl into whatever hellscape will give the most money? You want that on your conscience?”

“To try, Ex. They deserve to try again. And if you don’t believe that anymore then there’s something in you that can’t be fixed.”

“Let me ask you something”. You knelt beside Frank to be eye level with Daredevil and you felt a sadistic urge tingling down your spine. “If Anatoly or Vladimir or even Fisk himself had killed Y/N because… Because they still thought she was me or they found out she had ties to you, would you let them off with a coma? With broken limbs or a fractured frontal bone.” You tapped the forehead of his helmet. “Broken nose, maybe. Or would you kill them? Would you make sure they never hurt another innocent girl?”

He said nothing but his emotions said everything. He didn’t know what he would do. He couldn’t say with certainty that he wouldn’t kill them, but he wasn’t sure he could bring himself to do it. Even for Y/N.

“Exactly.” You scoffed.

“You do this, Ex, you stick with him… And you’ll have to kill me this time around because I won’t stop coming for you until I take you down.” Daredevil continued.

“You’re giving me a goddamn ultimatum.” You chuckled in realization. “Are you that desperate?”

“I know there’s goodness in you, Ex. Even in you, Frank.”

“Опять не это..” You groaned and stood. (Not this again.)

Once you had moved, Frank knocked out Daredevil.

“And you used to work with this guy?” He asked you.

You shrugged. “He used to be easier to get along with.”

“How’s your leg?” He asked and knelt beside Daredevil and began fiddling with the chains. “That little limp’s getting more noticeable.”

“It’s just tender.” You admitted as you hobbled across the roof and sat with your back against the ledge. “I need to pick a place and stay there.”

He chuckled. “Can I ask you something?” He called out, not looking away from his new project.

“Sure.”

“The hell is the Red Room?”

“Place I was raised. Trained since I was a kid. Espionage, martial arts, weaponry, ballet, gymnastics, foreign language, culture, computers. Pretty much everything. They offered my parents money when I was a baby but Mom said no. We ran for a few months till Dad got tired of it. He went behind Mom’s back and sold me off a little after I turned one… And they’re still together.”

“That’s some heavy shit.” He nodded.

“You have no idea.” You agreed and your fingers went to where the Red Room emblem sat in your suit, though it was covered by the top from Daredevil. “And you… Marine, huh? Couldn’t have been easy.”

“Sounds like we both got a short end of the stick.” He said casually.

“Yet we both ended up here… Wonder why.”

“You believe in that?”

“I think there’s a point in the people you meet.” You shrugged, eyes landing on Daredevil for a second. “You think everything's a coincidence?”

“I just think shit happens the way it happens.” He said plainly.

“Simple.” You nodded.

“I’m not exactly the showy type like this guy.” He shook Daredevil by one of his horns and you chuckled.

“He’s not always so high and mighty, yknow.” You said honestly. “But you’re right. He is a half-measure.”

“I’ll be right back.” Frank said and disappeared into the building. “Got a little something for him…”

You craned your neck to see what he had done and saw a slight reflection off some duct tape. But what really caught your attention was the gun beneath the tape.

What the hell was he up to?

Daredevil began to stir not long after Frank left. But he was quick to come back with another man in tow.

“Caught this bastard trynna steal a car and skip town.” Frank explained as he threw Grotto to his knees.

“Grotto.” You gasped and tried to make your way over.

“He doesn’t deserve to die because you caught him stealing cars! It’s up to the law, not me or you or her!” Daredevil practically pleaded when he realized there was nothing he could do.

“Tell him a little bit about yourself.” Frank said in annoyance.

“I’m nobody, I swear.” Grotto pleaded.

“No? Lafayette Street, second floor. Tell him what happened.”

“What did you do?” You asked Grotto. You thought about that street but couldn’t remember any stories about it.

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry, please!”

“What. Did you. Do.” You asked again, flexing your hand to wake your Widow’s Bite.

“Say it.” Frank pressed, punctuating his words with a right hook.

“Okay! I killed him! I put two in his head!” Grotto cried desperately. “I- I couldn’t say no! I couldn’t! I’m sorry! But I didn’t- I didn’t know the old lady was in the house!”

“What old lady?” Daredevil asked quickly.

“She started screaming and I begged her to stop… She saw my face. I had to!”

Your jaw clenched and you fired your Bite at his chest, causing Grotto to scream in pain.

“I’m not gonna shoot him.” Daredevil shook his head.

“Then I will.” You shrugged and drew your gun. “Unless you wanna kill me to stop me.” You teased.

“Don’t you dare!”

“Why not?” You laughed, a manic and bubbling sound that was oh so familiar to the teasing laugh you used on Red Room missions. “He’ll kill again. How many old ladies - or what if it’s a kid next time? Do you wanna live with that? Cause I won’t.”

“It won’t bring anyone back!”

“No… But it’ll keep him from hurting anyone else.”

“Shoot him!” Frank insisted. “Shoot him or shoot her. Either way you’re a killer.”

“Ты такой же, как и я, независимо от того, что ты выберешь.” You said firmly, knowing Daredevil wouldn’t shoot you. (You’re just like me, no matter what you choose.)

Instead, Daredevil shot the lock that held the chains in place. Upon hearing the gun fire, you pulled your own trigger and shot Grotto in the chest. Immediately after, Daredevil tackled you to the ground, your head bouncing off the concrete and your gun clattering away. Daredevil had one knee pinning an arm and the other was pinned by his foot as he began throwing punches, the gun still taped in his hand. You dodged what you could and found an opening to awkwardly aim your Bite towards his neck. You shot the burst quickly and he fell off of you, though the throbbing of fresh bruises remained.

Frank came to your side and helped you to sit. He carefully tilted your face to either side as he examined the blossoming lumps. You waved him off and wiped your sleeve across your face, clearing the blood from your nose and ignoring the pain. Your vision was blurry, head pounding as you shakily crossed the roof for your gun.

He took a second to lean over the ledge and fire across the street. Frank was quick to jump into the fight with Daredevil when he charged you again. You were loading your wire at your wrist when Daredevil knocked Frank unconscious.

“This is really who you wanna be?” He called to you as you got to your unsteady feet. “Last I heard, you were tired of killing.”

“Это уже то, кто я есть.” You grinned, despite the blood in your mouth. “Я просто больше не притворяюсь.” (It’s already who I am. I’m just not pretending anymore.)

You tumbled messily over the ledge and hastily shot your wire to catch your fall. You landed awkwardly and wobbled on your feet all the way back to your apartment. Once inside, you were quick to strip out of your suit and sit on the floor of your shower. You couldn’t even think how you were gonna cover your beating for work the next morning.

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sgt-morgan · 1 year

Text

Dancing🎵

Summary: Matt learns all the moves of a dancer (apart of the Robin Trilogy)

Warnings: AFAB&female identifying reader, death of a family member, nothing else, very sweet and fluffy.

A/N: apparently I’m very inspired by Sting. Who would have guessed?

Daredevil Masterlist

You and Matt were dancing in the living room, your little girl was giggling and twirling around your legs she was perfect in every way. Stunning, and brave, and devilish, just like her dad. She was a curious child, smart and silly, she was the perfect addition to your little family and now Batman and Robin had a little Batgirl. She looked just like Matt, much to your pleasure. They had the same smile, the same nose, the same eyes. Matt was just glad she had your personality. She was silly, and vibrant, and a fighter. She lives up to her namesake everyday, and the nickname Battlin Jackie fit her like a glove. Your little family was giggling and twirling, and Matt held you close as you lay your head on his chest and watched your little girl run about the room. Then she stopped and tugged Matt’s pant leg.

“Sorry Robin! Batgirl calls.” Matt chuckles and kisses your temple, you sigh and close your eyes in content. He runs your back then releases you, picking up his daughter and looking like he was cradling the whole world in his hands.

“Ok you two, keep dancing. I’m gonna go turn on the oven.” You smile and leave them to their dancing. You wander to the kitchen and flip on the oven, hoping to make dinner for once this week. You and Matt had been so busy, but thankfully, you were free for the weekend, thus the impromptu dance party. You returned to the living room to see a sight that filled your heart to the brim.

Matt held your baby in the middle of the floor, he was swaying back and forth in a slow dance as some song by Sting played softly in the background. One of her little hands was clasped in his big calloused one, he had her wrapped up snugly in his arms, and one of her chubby cheeks rested on his shoulder. Her eyes were slowly dropping closed, and he was grinning and placing kisses to her curls, and suddenly you were reminiscing about an evening during your pregnancy.

You were in the living room, snuggling up to Matt, you were reading a boom and Matt was skimming over some paper work with one hand, while rubbing your belly with the other. There was a record playing, and you were humming along, when suddenly you were hit with a blast from the past.

“Oh, my grandfather and I always always used to dance to this song.” You smiled, standing and swaying back and fourth in a familiar box step. You smiled faintly and hummed the lyrics. Eventually singing them under your breath as you held your stomach and continued to read.

“Why do stars fall down from the sky

Every time you walk by?

Just like me, they long to be

Close to you

On the day that you were born the angels got together

And decided to create a dream come true

So they sprinkled moon dust in your hair of gold and starlight in your eyes of blue”

When they sing ended you sighed, and Matt could faintly smell the salt of your tears in the air. He placed his paperwork aside, and cradled you in his arms.

“What’s with the water works Robin? Hmm?” He shushed you as you continued to sniffle.

“I don’t know, I just. I miss him. I miss dancing.”

You sighed and Matt’s heart ached as your tears soaked his collar.

You and Matt were a lot alike, you were both orphaned at a young age, you both lost a parent to murder, but where you differed was what happened after the fact. While Matt was sent to the orphanage, you were sent to live with your grandfather. He was a prickly old bastard, full of grunts and sarcasms, but you always loved him the best. He was the one who gave you that mean sense of humor, and when he died, you were devastated. He raised you as best he could, and you both filled in holes in each others lives. When your grandmother died, he became a ghost of himself, or so your dad said, but when you were born, he always claimed it was like having a mini version of her. You were his pride and joy. He was constantly smoking a pipe, the smell of cherry tobacco permeated all of his clothing, and you loved the smell. He had a big white bushy beard and long silvery hair. When you were little you believed him to be Santa clause, and he always played it up like he was. Your favorite memories of him though, were of those when you would dance.

He always would squeeze you tight and make

Noises as if you stepped on his foot, even when you didn’t, and he would hum the song under his breath. You really loved it when you would dance and he’d tell the story of how he met your grandmother.

“Me and your Nana? We met at a fall

Formal in college.” He would chuckle, spinning you around. “She was the most beautiful

Thing I’d ever seen, she was in this pink dress with white gloves, and I thought she was a fallen angle. Im sitting there, thumb up my ass, just staring at her. I couldn’t even remember if I had brought a date she was so beautiful. So this song, ‘Close To You’ by The Carpenters comes on, and I see she’s all alone, swaying to the music. In that moment, I decided that mo girl that damn beautiful should ever dance alone, and that if I had my way, I’d dance with that girl every night for the rest of my life. So, I walk up to her, and offer her my hand. She accepts, and two years later we were dancing to it at our wedding.” You would

Always smile, and tell him how you hoped you’d find a man who’d talk about you that way someday. He would always smile, spin you and plant a kiss to your hair, and repeat what he’d always say. “Sweetheart? If a man won’t dance with you, he’s not the marrying kind, and if he can’t dance? He better learn. You’re too pretty to not have somebody to dance with.” You lived with him for five years, and two years after you moved out he passed away. You missed him every day.

You relay all this to Matt, and he frowns contemplatively. He hadn’t realized how important this was to you. You continue to hold him and eventually you look up at him with a frown of your own. “What’s going on in that crazy head of yours devil man?” Matt too another second to contemplate. He didn’t know how to dance. It was shocking, but it was true. World class flirt and slut extraordinaire, Matthew Murdock, had never learned how to properly dance. He knew the stand and sway middle school slow dance thing, had done it a couple times. Serious slow dancing though? The opportunity has never really crossed his path. He didn’t really go to dances, he mostly mingled at galas, and because of his blindness, people generally (read: annoyingly) steered him from physical activity. This includes dancing. So he had never really mastered the skill.

“Teach me.” He says suddenly, and you stare at him confused.

“Teach you?” You question, “teach you what?”

“Teach me to dance. Your Grandfather was right, a girl like you deserved a dance partner, and I’m more than willing to oblige.” He gives you a boyish grin, and you squeeze him tightly.

“Oh Matty! That’s- yeah! Let’s do this!” You turn on a Frank Sinatra song, and you stand in front of Matt and show him where to put his hands. You take his calloused left hand, and place it on your waist, and you clasp his other hand in yours, putting him in the proper slow dancing stance. “Ok so you’re gonna-“ you show him how to lead, and he struggled a bit at first, stepping on your toes a time or two. He was scowling the whole time he was trying to get a hang of it, and you were pretty sure the harder he concentrated, the worse he got.

“Ok Matt. Jesus, I can hear your wheels spinning from here, it’s a foxtrot not nuclear physics.” You laughed and he released some of the tension, smiling at your amusement. “You know what? Think of it like… think of it like a boxing match!” He barked a laugh, and you smacked him over the head, “I’m being serious asshole, think of it this way. When you fight someone, you’re anticipating their movements, and leading them to your desired movements so you can beat them. Instead of knocking someone’s brains in, you need to anticipate what movement would best fit the songs rhythm, and leading your partner in the desired movements in order to stay on the beat.” Matt nodded, impressed. Surprisingly, that made a whole lot of sense. Once he finally gotten the hang of it, he was actually an amazing dancer.

“Wow Batman! You really do have skills!” You giggle, letting him waltz you around the room.

“Oh yeah! I mean, Bruce Wayne has to be dapper too.” Matt chuckles spinning you under his arm. “That, and if this is important to you, I want to pass it down to our daughter. Something to keep his memory alive.”

“Well, I’m one very happy Robin.” You grinned and captured Matt in a sweet kiss, the most thoughtful man alive that one.

You’re zapped out of your day dream by the oven signaling it was preheated. You sent a soft gaze Matt’s way as he continued to sway your now dosing little girl in his arms. Once dinner was in the oven, and she was settled on the couch, Matt gathered you back into his arms, and sang the lyrics of a sting song he had recently fallen in love with. He thought it perfectly described your relationship, and you couldn’t help but agree.

“In the streets around here

There was nobody tougher than me

I was quick with me fists and fast with me footwork as you can plainly see

But while fighting was useful for getting your way among the toughs of the town

Where you could hold sway

There had to be something that was better than this

I was 15 years old and I'd never been kissed

Well of course she'd ignore me, her friends would all sneer

At me bloody nose dripping and me cauliflower ear

For it's hard to convince in a romantic pose, with a lovely black eye and a broken nose

Where a girl is attracted to skills more refined than the pugilist's art, and so I inclined

To take meself serious as a modern romancer

And I secretly learnt all the moves of a dancer

Ye swing to the left, ye swing to the right

Keep your eyes on your partner, more or less like a fight

Ye just follow the rhythm, and ye keep to the beat

The important thing's never to look at your feet

Then a miracle happens, your mind's in a trance

Though the strategy's subtle, retreat and advance

It's all about attitude, all in your stance

Attention to detail, leaving nothing to chance

Which explains how the pugilist finally learned how to dance.”

You chuckled and kissed Matt on the cheek.

“Oh Batman, even with a broken nose you’d still steal my heart. Thanks for dancing with me.” You cuddled into him and Matt felt sunshine in his soul.

“For you Robin? Anything.”

Tags: @pbeckn26

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spiritmoodboards · 3 months

Text

x x x x x x x x

Stimboard for Matt Murdock/Daredevil (Marvel) For an anon~ Hope you like how it looks!

We're closed for now, thank you~ <3

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burnt-scone · 2 years

Text

My brain told me a funny

#clint barton #hawkeye #hawkeye clint barton #clint barton hawkeye #deaf #deaf hawkeye #deaf clint barton #Matt Murdock #daredevil #daredevil matt murdock #matt murdock daredevil #blind #marvel #marvel comics #im sorry

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firelance2361 · 2 years

Text

Spider-Man: Freshman Year

Just a fan-poster piece I did for the upcoming Marvel Animated Series with Spider-Man and Daredevil, striking the same poses they had in the cover of Daredevil Vol. 6 #23 from 2020 by Marco Checchetto and Matthew Wilson.

To be clear this is just a redrawing of the original cover, so any and all credit goes to the creators.

Hope you guys like it!

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miniimegs-art · 2 years

Photo

Fan art of Matt Murdock, Foggy Nelson, Karen Page, Marci Stahl and Wilson Fisk, based on Charlie Cox, Elden Henson, Deborah Ann Woll, Amy Rutberg and Vincent D’Onofrio. I hope you like it 😊😊

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cellophaine · 11 months

Note

i dont know if you listen to lana del rey but MATT MURDOCK AND SAD GIRL BY LANA DEL REY

i need a fic based on this like i have been listening to it non stop and i cant stop thinking on him so a matt murdock angst fic with fluff with a lil smut?

Sad Girl

Pairing: Matt Murdock x F!Reader

Warnings: Fluff, angst, smut.

Author's Note: This fic is brought to you by delusion and denial. The song has a big influence, but I made a few tweaks. Italics are flashbacks.

To Anon: yes I do listen to Lana! Quite religiously 🫣 If you read through the fic names in my masterlist, you'll see some of Lana's song titles.

Share and feedback are welcomed!

GIF Credit

"Sooo … how's it going with the guy you're seeing?"

Over the rim of your cup, you cast your watchful eyes at your friend as you took a sip of your steamed drink. Mindy's inquisitive gaze bored into you, pawing and prodding at the film of protection you projected on the particular topic. You had expected her to ask about Matt since that was where you left off the last time you saw her three months ago, even though she was your closest friend. The way you left it wasn't positive in your friend's eyes, so this time, she was adamant about the two of you catching up. You couldn't hide from her anymore, even if you tried.

You bit into the side of your cheek before releasing it; your eyes briefly darted away from Mindy's face before answering.

"It's… good."

Mindy arched a brow at your drawn-out 'good', waiting patiently as she expected you to divulge.

"It's really good. Same old, you know?"

She nodded, her eyes slightly narrowed in a way that seldomly meant something good.

"Does that mean you're still stuck in the … grey area?"

You placed your drink down a little harsher than necessary, striking a sharp sound on the delicate saucer.

"I'm not 'stuck'. It's not even a grey area; it's black and white. I chose this."

She had struck a nerve, and you didn't want to admit that to yourself.

"So you chose to be in an ambiguous relationship with a man who doesn't seem to care that much about you? Who only hits you up when he needs someone to warm his bed?"

Your casual, friends-with-benefits relationship with Matt had gone on for well over eight months. At the very beginning, you both agreed on strictly no strings attached. He would come over, you would fuck, and at the end, he would leave. It started out as a once-in-a-while thing, then once a week, and now it had almost become a nightly basis. Your closet stored some of his comfy and formal clothes, your bathroom cabinet held his own hygiene items, and your pantry was stocked with his favourite teas. Matt had slept over so often that you felt like your place was his, too. Even your first aid kit got an upgrade as you equipped it with stuff you wouldn't need yourself so you could be more prepared for any injuries he might have. You knew Matt was Daredevil, knowing the danger he might face every night. It wasn't something he could hide from you. Not for as long as Matt tried to, anyway. After your discovery of Daredevil and Matt's acceptance of the fact that you knew, you started patching him up when his nights got rough, and he began to ask for your help more often. On those nights when his injuries weren't so grave, his fucking would get rougher as the extension of his waning wrath.

"No! You're wrong. It's not like that at all. He cares about me …."

You trailed off when the doubt crept in, making you unsure of yourself. Mindy caught on to your hesitation and gave you a concerned gaze. You couldn't help it, but you wanted to prove your friend wrong. After all, it only happened three weeks ago, and the memory was still fresh in your mind.

Your boss was in a particular mood that day. He scrapped the entirety of your careful research and made you go down the police station all the way in Brooklyn to obtain the paper documents yourself. You barely made it out of work and into a cab before eleven, slouching in the back seat as the toll of the day took over. Your feet ached from the heels, and your body was riddled with tension. You were so exhausted that once you came home, you headed straight for the shower to wash off the grime and sweat; the melody of your wind chime outside on the fire escape didn't even register in your ears. After the much-needed cleanse, you settled on the couch with greasy takeout and put on your show. You didn't even notice how the wind chime had gone quiet, turning into a gentle tune momentarily before three dull knocks on the window pane startled you.

Your attention turned to the window, recognizing the silhouette outside. You only realized then that you had forgotten to take the wind chime in – the form of communication you used to signal that you were waiting for him. The melody had almost become a permanent fixture on your fire escape. You hurried to the window and ushered Matt in.

"Sorry, I totally forgot that you were coming."

You felt guilty of your own forgetfulness for giving him a false signal, but a small part of you didn't. You wanted him to stay, but you couldn't bring yourself to ask him to. It felt like a violation of your agreement. And yet, you desperately did not want to be alone that night. All the turmoil in your head quickly evaporated as Matt closed the distance, discarding his mask before he reached you and pulled you in by your waist. He planted a hungry kiss on your lips, slowly smouldering to a lingering touch. You would be lying if you said his impatience didn't turn you on. You pulled away from him, feeling embarrassed when you remembered the chow mein you had, but Matt didn't seem to mind.

"What was that for?"

Your eyes drank in the messed up hair, the glossy unsighted eyes focused a lower point on your face, and the easy smile tugged at a corner of his plump, just-kissed lips. Everything added to the boyish charm you had come to love.

"It's been a while since I last saw you. I missed you."

His confession and the way he said it with a soft smirk made you melt. Matt wasn't one for sentimental statements, but when he was in the mood for it, he always knew how to make you weak in the knees. No matter how true the admission was, he knew you knew that this was no more than a casual arrangement. Crossing the boundaries was something of a figment.

"It's only been three days."

"I know. And I still missed you all the same."

He stepped even closer, slotting one leg between your open stance before slanting his lips over yours. You couldn't help but lean into the kiss and moan; your body arched into his embrace out of second nature. His soft lips found the pulse on your neck and sucked, marking the smooth skin there as if he deemed that it was missing his mark. His hands started pulling on your clothes, making your mind run wild with the possibilities of the night. But your muscles' cry for rest was louder. For the second time that night, you gingerly pulled away from his warm embrace, and the crestfallen look on his face once you had distanced yourself almost made you regret it.

"Is something wrong?"

He asked gently. None of the whining and all of the genuine concern. You sighed, running your hands over your face.

"It's not you. It's me. I had a pretty … shitty day at work, and I … I don't feel like doing this right now."

You quickly added.

"I hope that's okay."

His immediate response untied the knot in your belly.

"Of course it's okay. You don't have to do anything you don't want to. You know that, right?"

You lowered your gaze to the ground; your voice was small and quiet.

"I do, I just don't want to disappoint you, that's all."

Matt placed a hand under your chin, lifting your face so you could look at him.

"You could never disappoint me, no matter what."

You clasped a hand around the wrist that was hovering over your collarbone. With all the courage you could muster, you begrudgingly gave voice to the inescapable outcome of the night.

"Well, I guess I'll… see you later?"

His brows furrowed as if you were speaking a language he didn't know.

"What do you mean? You're not getting rid of me that easily."

In a fell swoop, Matt picked you up. He walked to the couch, gently laid you down on the plush surface and told you to stay still. You watched with wide eyes as he disappeared into your bathroom. You heard the water running, then shutting off, and Matt appeared only to vanish into your bedroom. You peeked over the couch as you heard him rummaging around what sounded like your bedside table, helping himself to its content. Eventually, he left the bedroom with your body oil mist. You braced yourself on your elbows, apprehensive and confused, when Matt asked you to remove your sweats.

"I'm just going to give you a massage. No funny business, I promise."

He urged you to lay back as he carefully folded your clothes and put them on the armchair nearby. He loosened the knots in your muscles, kneading at your sore limbs. His hands worked with so much tenderness and patience, smoothing the oil over your skin, making sure you were relaxed and comfortable. You practically melted into the couch once he was done with you, feeling the tension had long ebbed away.

You sighed happily; the touch of appreciation sweetened your voice.

"Thank you for that."

"You don't have to thank me. I'm here for you."

Matt smiled fondly at you, which deepened the crinkles around his eyes. And then, there was a brief moment of hesitation, as if he didn't know if he should say what he wanted to say.

"Do you want me to leave?"

He finally asked, his voice soft. The question seemed so small, yet, it made your heart soar, sending a familiar serotonin rush through your veins.

"No. Stay with me, please."

Matt slid onto the couch with you, cuddling you from behind. The space was a little cramped, but you were grateful for it for the way his body pressed up against you underneath the cozy blanket. The two of you watched your favourite show together. Still, you didn't pay much attention to it as your mind tried to soak up as much of this feeling as possible until you fell asleep. When you woke the next morning, he wasn't there. Yet, something felt different now that you had a taste of what it was like to be on the other side of the thorned fence.

Despite the "developement", you still felt unsure. And Mindy could tell that.

"If he cared about you like that, why haven't you made it official? Is there something holding you back?"

You bit your lip, your head lowered as you still tether at the edge of acceptance of your situation after an even more recent event.

"Actually, yeah …"

You thought you knew him better than most people did, but maybe, it was you who knew the least of all. You thought about last week when you were tasked with writing a piece on the new up-and-coming law firm in the middle of Hell's Kitchen that took down Wilson Fisk.

It was all a coincidence, but you didn't mind getting to observe Matt on a professional level. The business plate on the wall outside looked new and polished, contrary to the inside. The building was a little dingy but functional. When Foggy Nelson welcomed you into the small office, the sight you saw was all but welcoming. The glass panes did nothing to conceal the view of Matt being awfully cozy with a gorgeous woman, who you knew was Karen Page. She straightened his tie, and Matt was saying something to her, his soft lips close to the crown of her head. Karen laughed at his words, and in return, an easy smile spread across his face. The intimate scene made you feel like you were intruding on the two of them just by looking in. A lump formed in your throat, but you swallowed it down. It was no time for personal feelings and thoughts.

Still, the unpleasant feeling simmered and stayed with you throughout the interview until the very end. When the photographer showed up to take their photos for the newspaper, you bore witness to their intimacy once more. It was obvious to anyone that there was something between them, whether it was in the past or present. The way they held each other before your observant eyes manifested into something tangible that you could touch and couldn't compare. Their bond was something deeper than your relationship. That only aggravated your stubborn jealousy and how ashamed you felt afterward for feeling such fierce possessiveness over someone who wasn't even yours. He never was, never had been, and never would be. What you had was a casual agreement, and that was all to it. But you had to go ahead and fall for him.

The look on Mindy's face after you told her about Matt and Karen was one you knew too well. It was of pity, and you hated being on the receiving end.

"It sounds like he might have something going on with that woman. After all, you didn't agree to be mutually exclusive."

She took hold of your hand, giving it a squeeze as if to soften the blow she was about to deliver.

"I think you should reconsider your relationship. Being the other woman is not worth it, no matter how good in bed he is."

You couldn't stop the frown that formed on your lips, but you could control the trembling that almost broke in your lower lip. You jerked your hand away as if Mindy's touch seared you with shame. Your voice shook as your defensiveness raised itself around you.

"You don't know him like I do, okay? Stay out of it. I don't need your sage advice."

I don't need you to tell me how wrong I am. You wanted to say. You knew that already. Saying that out loud would mean admitting you were wrong about Matt, about the two of you, and about everything.

You grabbed your bag from the chair and walked out of the coffee shop, ignoring Mindy's calls. Your nose felt stung from the unshed tears, from the weight of your friend's words. You knew she only wanted good things for you, but she was wrong. She must be.

Even then, in your heart, you weren't so sure.

That night, you didn't think Matt would come. But you were thankful that he did. The moment you heard his familiar steps on the stairs, making his way up to you, you were already at the window, practically pulling Matt in once he reached you. You didn't even wait until he got even footing on the floor to kiss him senselessly, drawing a surprised gasp from him. He didn't seem to mind and quickly reciprocated. Moments later, your clothes were shed, letting your bare skin and laboured breaths fill the silence. Matt's hands ran all over your curves appreciatively, his lips tangled with yours fervently. He whispered on your lips when you parted to breathe.

"I missed you."

You heard that, Mindy? He said he missed me.

"I missed you too."

Your words drawled into a soft moan as he took your bottom lip between his teeth and pulled slightly. His hand settled on your ass, urging you to jump into his arms like you always would, and you did. The proof of his need for you pressed against your stomach, hard and unyielding. Matt shifted you in his arms, and you used the movement to graze your slick core around his shaft. Your arousal smeared on his length, and you couldn't stop the gasp at the feeling of him so close to your entrance. Matt found your bedroom easily and fell onto the soft sheets with you. You scuttled back to make room, and he followed you. You held yourself up by your elbows; a shiver ran through your body as you watched him stroke his cock a few times before teasing your entrance. His tip touched your wet folds, dragging and spreading the slickness along the slit. He stimulated your clit with his velvet head, and you whimpered at how good it felt. As you parted your lips to tell him to stop teasing you, he plunged in without warning, and the complaint from your throat became a blissed moan.

Matt stopped for a moment after fully sheathed inside you, his face tilted towards yours, allowing you to drink in the pure euphoria on his face. His mouth was open-slacked, his brows curved up in an acute focus of relief, his unsighted eyes lost in the heaven you shared. You rocked your hip to meet his, only to be stopped with his hands on your waist, his hold tight, but not enough to leave bruises.

"If you keep moving like that, I won't last very long."

You nudged your heel against his ass, and your thighs squeezed his hips like an invitation.

"I don't care. I need you. Please."

Something shifted in him when you begged, and your prayer was answered with a withdrawal and hard thrust of his hips. You cried out, letting yourself fall back on the mattress and allowing Matt to pound into you. Each delicious thrust brought you closer to the edge, but you used all of your willpower to hold on. You wanted to finish with him. Matt's body covered yours as he nudged your head to rest on the crook of his arm. He caged you in, encompassing you in a cocoon that was him. His fingers wove into your hair, pulling the strands slightly to draw out your moans. His face hovered over yours, and with the barely-there distance, you felt like you were observing a piece of art reserved for your eyes only. Matt was all-consuming, demanding your attention and submission in every sense possible. All you saw was his beautiful face, all you heard was his lustful cries, and all you felt was his fullness inside you, stealing your breaths. You succumbed to him fully, worshipping him with everything that was attached to your mortal shell.

Your cries of pleasure intertwined with his created a beautiful melody of primal desires. Your hands clawed at his back, without a doubt making marks. Matt only groaned louder at the claim you made on his back, enjoying the pain you inflicted on him. As you neared your end, your core clenched hard, and his thrusts only got rougher at the tell-tale sign of your finish line. You could feel how close he was with the way his pace stuttered. You took hold of his chin, and Matt took a brief moment to kiss your thumb.

"Let go. I've got you."

You whispered breathlessly as his deep strokes made it hard to talk. Matt drew your thumb into his mouth and bit on it, but it did little to muffle his grunts of release. The feeling of him filling you up triggered your own orgasm as you came with him. The white-hot pleasure made you arch your back, making your pebbled nipples graze his broad chest. Matt's hand came down to grope at one breast, massaging and playing with your nipple, making you gasp, moan, and writhe at the sensation. He dipped his head to the hardened peak and soothed its ache with the warmth of his mouth as if to apologize for the lack of attention he paid. When you finally came down from the high, Matt whisked you into a breathless, lingering kiss as if he never wanted it to end. You happily reciprocated, and at that moment, it really felt like he might have feelings for you.

A little while later, after Matt had helped you settle in bed and fetched you some water, he slipped into the spot beside you, nudging your head to rest on his chest. His fingers caressed your arm, raising goosebumps on your skin. You played with the ridges of his abs; your blissful mind ran wild with all the possibilities and hypotheses. You felt something different tonight, just like that night when he cuddled you to sleep.

"Hey, I was wondering …."

He hummed in reply, waiting for you to continue.

"We've been doing this for a while, and I … I wonder if anything has changed."

His hand still kept a steady rhythm on your arm.

"What has changed?"

"Us. Our relationship."

Matt turned his face towards you, and your heart chipped a little at the confusion. He took a moment before answering you.

"We both agreed on being strictly casual. So … no, nothing has changed."

The crack on your heart turned into splinters that kept falling down like a flimsy house of cards, and you weren't fast enough to catch all the pieces. Of course, Mindy was right. You were such a fool. How could you hope for something different after all this time?

"Where was my memo on this thing?"

Matt chuckled softly, seeming to please with the little joke he made. Even though his body was warm, you only felt colder than ever. You slowly removed yourself from him as if Matt had grown thorns, and every movement hurt. Once you left the bed, Matt braced himself on one elbow, an easy, nonchalant, suggestive air about him.

"Are you freshening up for round two?"

You sighed heavily.

"No, I'm tired, and I would like to go to bed."

When Matt didn't say anything, you quickly added.

"Besides, I have to get up early tomorrow."

It was not exactly the truth, but a half-lie would do just fine. It seemed like Matt got the hint as he got up and searched for his scattered clothes on the floor. Once decent, he made his way to you at the window sill; his hand reached out to touch your elbow.

"Are we okay?"

He asked with a touch of hesitation. You huffed an indulgent chuckle.

"Yes. We're okay. I've had a long day, with a lot to think about."

You forced yourself to smile, even though he couldn't see it. It was more for you, so you wouldn't physically surrender to the turmoil inside. Matt kissed your cheek softly, and you did everything not to avoid his affection.

"I'll see you tomorrow."

He left your apartment with the promise, one that you wouldn't blame him for not keeping. You stayed up until the morning, and throughout the day, you allowed everything Mindy said to torment you, driving and twisting the knife further until your heart was a mangled, broken piece of decoration in your chest. And you knew you deserved every single cut. You weren't stupid; you knew that you were in the wrong. You were blinded by the possibility of Matt reciprocating your feelings that you were all too happy to be the other woman despite all the red lights. But the answer he gave you last night was definite. There was no future for the two of you that wouldn't end in a crash and burn.

That night, your fire escape was dead quiet for the first time in months. You were home; Matt could tell by the rhythm of your heart inside your cozy place. No matter how many times he called your name and knocked on your window, you wouldn't welcome him in like you usually would. Matt left the bundle of flowers he brought you at your fire escape that night. They would stay where they were as he felt them wither away every night until they ceased to exist.

*Likes, reblogs and comments are greatly appreciated!*

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yum-cy · 2 years

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Why the hell is matt's cane so short? Hes been using one since he was fucking tiny and it doesnt even reach his chin!! What the fuck is that about!!

#daredevil #matt murdock #matt murdock daredevil #seriously what the shit. his cane should be longer!!#unless my sisters perception of how long his cane is is off or smth that is not long enough

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memphisnovels · 2 years

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Fade into you

Chapter 3. Continuum

{Breathe me deeper baby, inhale Intoxicate yourself then exhale Pay attention to my detail

What's your pleasure, what's my name? Blend and merge until we're same Nothing much of us remains}

Matt Murdock x ofc

Chapter 1 & Chapter 2

Sorry this took a while the last couple of weeks have been kicking my ass!

Enjoy my loves!!!!

Alli puts up an icy exterior but she’s a little love-starved cinammon roll when all is said and done

CW: strong smut (18+ friends), swearing, angst, arguing & poor conflict resolution as per usual.

<3<3<3

The sound of bottles clinking together filled my ears, accompanied by the voices of other patrons who’d accumulated around Josie’s. I recalled coming to this dive bar back in college, the Thursday night drink specials were particularly attractive back then. It was all still quite fresh in my mind, the smell of cheap liquor and dingy amenities that gave it this kind of intangible charm. Though, I often attributed a portion of said charm to the company I kept.

“All I’m saying is there’s no way Professor Lark didn’t want me, it was undeniable, the way her face lit up every time I answered one of her questions…” I rolled my eyes heavily at Foggy’s words, hiding my endeared smile behind the neck of my beer bottle. “The way she said my name.”

The reminiscent lilt in his voice caused a hearty laugh to escape me. “I’m sorry, how exactly did she say your name?”

“Like this, like-” he pressed a hand to his chest dramatically “-Foggy.” His tone went light and breathy, eyes closing for a moment as he dragged out the syllables.

I glanced at Matt from across the table, stifling a laugh. “Okay, you’re officially delusional.” He spoke with an amused expression sitting across his lips.

Foggy narrowed his eyes in indignation, turning to me frantically, willing me to back him up. “Yeah, sorry, Fogs, that’s not quite how I remember it.”

“Well, you guys weren’t there so you don’t know.” He sipped his drink with a huff.

My cheeks began to hurt with how wide I’d begun to smile. “Right, well if it’s any consolation your vivid re-enactment of the event in question really made me feel like I was there.”

He rolled his eyes, sending me a glare that was nothing if not feigned.

“Wasn’t Professor Lark like 80?” Matt abruptly piped up.

“Shut up, Murdock, she was a beautiful person alright! She had a young soul.”

I covered my face as the laughter tore through me. “Gross, Foggy!” The two men laughed at my disgust as I attempted to rid the tears from my eyes. “God, I almost forgot how weird you are.”

“Really?!” Matt and Foggy spoke in unison, the latter promptly shoving the former with playful ire.

A lull came a moment later, our laughter dying down as we continued to share memories from our college days, most of which were shared moments, some which were after… Things had changed. I felt a feeling of warmth in the pit of my stomach, something I’d always experienced here, in their company. An inexplicable sense of comfortability.

“Ah yes, many tears were shed in the break room when I was a measly intern.” I sipped my beer. “I swear the higher-ups get off on crushing the interns.”

Foggy sent me a knowing smirk. “Interesting.”

“What’s that supposed to mean, Nelson?”

He shrugged. “I’m not sure what you had to cry about little miss youngest ADA ever.”

I nodded fervently, leaning my elbows on the table. “Yeah exactly! You know how many times I got my ass kicked to get there?” Matt smirked into his glass, sipping the amber liquid with an air of pure smugness. I narrowed my eyes in his direction. “Something on your mind there, Matthew?”

“Oh, nothing much, just thinking about what we were told about you.” With a raised eyebrow I waited for him to continue. “I’m not sure if you know this but you’ve made quite the splash in the world of New York lawyers, Foggy and I were actually warned about you when you were made first chair on the Union Allied case.”

Foggy let out a giggle that caused me to smile. “Pray tell.”

“Other lawyers told us to be careful because you’re a shark, borderline unbeatable.”

“Only borderline?”

His smirk grew as he placed his glass down, mirroring me with his arms folded in front of him on the table that separated us. “Mhm.”

I bit my tongue slightly, a vicious smile on my face. He was goading me. “I’m not sure who your sources are Murdock, but I’d like to know why exactly they’re underselling you on just how good I am.”

“Exactly, how good are you, Blake?”

I tilted my head at him, raising a solitary eyebrow. “Unbeatable.”

“According to?” He asked coyly.

“The extensive list of people I’ve beaten.”

“Ah, but you’ve yet to go head-to-head with me, Sweetheart.” I opened my mouth to disagree, but he cut me off before I’d been able to get the words out. “Other than mock trial.” He added with a smart-ass grin that made me want to… to… I clenched my hand into a fist as if I could grasp all that tension and crush it into a ball to make it dissipate.

Despite my frustration, my smile grew, glad that he remembered and slightly disturbed by just how fast he was able to predict my precise next words. “Oh, I’m not too concerned about that.”

It was his turn to raise his eyebrows. “Is that so?”

“Mhm.”

Foggy scoffed, turning to go get another round from the bar; I barely noticed.

“Well now I’m sure of it?” Matt said, adjusting his glasses, the red lenses reflecting the dim light ever so slightly.

I asked him to elaborate.

He appeared to me as utterly familiar in that moment. I knew him, knew Matt, better than I’d ever known anyone. “You, Allison Blake, have an ego problem.”

“How’s that?”

“You can’t fathom being bested by me, you couldn’t in law school either.” He teased. We were both leaning forward against the table now, my pinkie finger was barely an inch from his wrist.

“I don’t need to fathom it because it’s impossible.”

“What if I took you off guard.”

I scoffed at him, glancing at Foggy who was still awaiting Josie’s attention at the counter. “As if you could ever take me off guard.” I downed the rest of my beer.

He regarded me. Never turning his face, never giving even an inch, his lips were upturned as he sat before me in momentary silence. The dim light painted him like it was curving to his very being. Once my eyes were on him again it was extraordinarily hard to tear my gaze from him. I was sure he knew I was having difficulty because a moment later his tongue darted out, wetting his lips; they remained parted. “I think I could.” I barely heard him.

Neither of us spoke then. My heart was thrumming against my chest, and I was feeling feverish suddenly. Matt’s hand moved; I could feel the warmth of him radiating onto the tips of my fingers. My gaze fell to our hands. They weren’t touching yet to the naked eye there appeared to be no more space between them. I considered brushing against his hand, feeling his flesh under my own, I couldn’t bring myself to move. Foggy approached in my peripheral vision but my focus was entirely on Matt’s fingers which had moved to graze my knuckles, twisting the ring that sat on my index finger, so the small diamond sat upright. I swallowed heavily as I watched his movements.

“Alright you two, enough with the dick-measuring contest, Josie has graciously bestowed us with our last round so we better enjoy it.”

Foggy set the drinks on the table and Matt’s touch was gone. I exhaled deeply, closing my eyes for a split second to regain my composure before leaning back in my seat and accepting the new drink. The night continued on, the three of us teasing and reminiscing. When Matt excused himself to the restroom, I steeled myself to say the words that had been on my mind for a very long time.

“I’m really sorry, Foggy.”

He paused, bottle halfway to his lips. “Sorry for what?” He chuckled. “For drawing a dick on my face when I was passed out at Natalia Lawrence’s party in second year? Because if so good, I’ve been waiting on that.”

I laughed, recalling my magnum opus. “No not for the dick, that was hilarious, I have no regrets over that.” He sighed exasperatedly. “But seriously, I do owe you an apology for how everything went down in our final year of law school.”

Foggy shook his head gently, all amusement draining from his expression. “Alli, you don’t owe me an apology at all.”

“No, I do, Foggy it wasn’t fair on you. I was mad and… And I was hurting but you were my friend too and you did nothing wrong. I should have stayed in touch.”

He took a long sip of his drink, placing a reassuring hand on top of my own. “I’m not mad at you, I never was. You had your reasons for what you did. Of course, it would have been nice not to lose you after the event that shall not be named but I don’t blame you for pulling away.”

I inhaled deeply, willing the stinging in my eyes to go away. Having someone care for me in the way Foggy always had was entirely unfamiliar to me, it was an all-encompassing love without condition or expectation, one I’d never experienced. It was incredibly hard for me to accept it from him, to accept his kindness and unwavering support. “You didn’t lose me, Fogs.” I took another deep breath, forcing myself to speak the truth and swallow it down. “You didn’t lose me, and you never will. I’m sorry for letting you think that you did.”

Foggy hugged me tightly before he left, there was a gentleness there that I could hardly fathom. It was grateful and full of warmth. Though, I was certain Foggy Nelson was incapable of offering coldness to anyone. I was overjoyed at being able to preserve our friendship. “How are you getting home?” Matt’s voice filled my ears as Foggy got into a cab. I could feel the warmth of his chest behind me, the fabric of his button-up grazing my shoulder as he moved to stand beside me. I thanked God for the brisk air prompting me to put my coat on, I wasn’t sure I could bare the contact without it.

“Cab, probably.” I looked at my hands for a moment before glancing at him, he puffed out a breath, the air coming out white. His cheeks were flushed from the cold, his hair slightly less uniform than it had been at the beginning of the evening. It devastated me to see him look so invitingly beautiful. My skin prickled as my mind wandered. He tilted his head toward me, a small smile on his lips. “Why’s that?” I forced out to fill the heavy silence.

He shrugged. “I was just thinking it was a nice night for a walk is all.”

“It’s freezing.”

“Do you have a better suggestion of how to warm up?”

I swallowed, crossing my arms tightly over my chest. Why did he have to stand so close to me and say things like that and look like that? “Are you asking to walk me home, Matthew?”

“That depends.”

“On?”

He let out a quick exhale through his nose, almost a laugh. “Would you like me to walk you home, Allison?”

“It’s a long walk.”

He was facing me now, lips curving into a smirk as he challenged me. “How long?”

“40 minutes at least.” I retorted. It was barely 40 minutes for someone who set a glacial pace.

He shrugged once more. “That’s not very long.” His fingers grazed over the side of my hand. “I’m up for it if you are.”

I’m not sure that’s a good idea. That is what I had meant to say to him, those are the words I decided on, yet my mouth never opened. Instead, I tentatively offered my arm to him. His smirk fell into a pleasing smile as he drew his hand from my wrist to my upper arm gently, fingers wrapping around me so I could guide him. I could almost feel the giddiness that he exuded at having won this round. We walked in comfortable silence for a while, the occasional comment with unbearably flirtatious undertones shared. As hard as I tried to move past it, a comment Foggy had made at Josie’s was heavy on my mind.

“Is what Foggy said true? I know he was teasing but did you really almost not pass the bar?” He was silent then, contemplative. I waited for his response, not wanting to upset him. He exhaled through his nose, nodding gently. We continued to walk as I considered what to say to him next. “I wish you’d told me. I know that we weren’t exactly… simpatico at the time but you could have talked to me anyway, I don’t think I would have ignored you if you asked for my help.” He turned his head ever so slightly in my direction then, remaining quiet. “I don’t think I could have.” The admission surprised even me, but I let it hang in the air, not taking it back regardless of how intensely vulnerable it was for me. I realized then we were nearing my street.

“We used to tell each other things.” I sent him a sidelong glance as he continued. “We used to tell each other so many things, we shared so much of ourselves. I hate that we stopped.”

I did too.

But then I felt incensed. The feeling bubbled in my throat, the back of my neck heating up as his words echoed in my head. As if it were a mutual shortcoming, an accidental severing of contact, the implication drove me to the brink of madness, something Matthew Murdock had never struggled to do.

“You say that as if we simply fell out of touch,” I responded with a bitter laugh.

He tensed slightly as if wounded by my words. “That isn’t what I meant.”

“But that was the implication.” His eyebrows furrowed at my tone. “You’re very charming, Matt, but that doesn’t mean that it’s all just water under the bridge. Unfortunately for you, you don’t get to just opt out of all portions of the blame, not with me.”

He shook his head. “That is not what I’m trying to do, that’s not what I have ever tried to do!”

My eyes widened at his gall as I came to an abrupt stop, pulling my arm from his. “Are you kidding me?! As if you really believe that, are you really acting like you took any kind of accountability for what a monumental asshole you were?”

“I’m pretty sure me coming to your office, hat in hand, to offer you my sincerest apologies was me taking accountability.”

“Oh, how kind of you, I suppose I should consider myself lucky then to have been deigned with an apology by the mighty Matthew fucking Murdock himself?”

He took a step forward, jaw clenched as he regarded me. “What do you want from me, Alli? Huh? Do you want me to build a goddamn time machine and go back to that night to take it all back?” It wasn’t just that night; or at least the wasn’t the first time he’d hurt me, it was the only one I could tell him about though. I grit my teeth, my chest rising and falling rapidly as I took in his words.

“Yes actually, that would be great!” I laughed dryly.

“Jesus Christ, you are unbelievable.” He clenched his hands into fists at his side, scoffing angrily. Taking another step forward whilst shaking his head in indignation. “Seriously, you… you are just infuriating.” Towering over me the way he was now, chest heaving, white-knuckled, disheveled with fury, he appeared utterly terrifying; yet I felt no fear. He had never scared me. The feeling that filled me was the complete opposite, it was a familiar warmth, a tinge of ire combined with a sickly-sweet dose of utter want. My body was tense, and I could feel a tingling sensation running down the underside of my flesh, dancing across each nerve ending. I was on fire. I burned and burned; I burned for him. He was standing far to close to me, half a step at most. My heart was racing, and my body was flushed. The air around me was biting at every part of my skin that it could reach and yet I was sweating.

“I feel for you, truly, I’m playing the world’s smallest violin in your honor.” I bit back, petty retorts the only thing that came easy when he was so focused on me. When the smell of his cologne was fogging my mind.

“Fuck you.”

His lips were on mine then and there was only him. His body was hard against mine, anchoring me to the street as I melted into his embrace. He kissed me fervently, devoutly, one hand finding the curve of my waist while the other found the back of my head, pulling me further against him. I was having a hard time deciphering where he started, and I ended. The kiss was deep and unyielding as if he were trying to meld us into one being. I couldn’t find it in myself to care in that moment, hooking an arm around his neck as my other slipped into his hair. The hand that had rested on my waist slipped beneath my coat, bringing a cold shock into the warmth, encouraging me to move even closer to him. He grabbed a handful of my ass as he continued to kiss the life out of me. A breathy whimper fell from my lips, as the feeling. He’d never struggled to melt me down into an incoherent puddle of need. Air was once again filling my lungs as we parted. Matt rested his forehead against my own, as if unable to break the contact. We both gasped for air as we clutched each other tightly.

Parting from me, he used a single finger under my chin to tilt my head up and capture my lips once more, gentler and less urgent but just as intense. “I think we’re here.” I glanced over to see we were indeed standing before my apartment building. How he’d known that I didn’t question, far too caught up in the feeling of his hand caressing my cheek. I studied the building before me, biting my lip as my gaze returned to him, our bodies were still firmly aligned. I wasn’t sure what the right call was here, probably saying goodbye. Silence sat heavy between us as we basked in the moment. I wished he would tell me what he wanted without me having to ask, maybe it’d make this decision easier. What did I want? I knew the answer, but it seemed like the wrong choice. The logical part of my brain told me to take a step back. To take a deep breath and put an end to this, but then there was the voice in the back of my head, persistent, unyielding in her efforts.

I felt sure she was the devil on my shoulder, not the voice of reason, she is the temptress; the voice I should banish. It was obvious, you don’t listen to the devil on your shoulder when it tells you to do something, but then he tucked a stray curl behind my ear and ghosted his lips over the corner of my forehead, just above my eyebrow and I could think of nothing else. I wrapped my fingers around his wrist, squeezing once before walking toward the steps before my building, pausing only momentarily, waiting for rejection, waiting for goodbye. Instead, after a mere moment passed, Matt stepped toward me, intertwining his fingers with my own.

…

The countertop was cold and hard beneath my back, a complete contrast to the line of scorching, open-mouthed kisses he pressed down the flesh of my thigh, a path mapped toward his destination. Making sure I was aware of where he planned to end up, making sure I was aching for his arrival.

His gaze moved toward my face, settling around my lips. “Tell me what you want.”

I exhaled heavily. “I want you to touch me.”

“I am touching you.” He taunted.

I threw my head back as his grasp on me tightened. His lips pressed against the delicate flesh once more, the same place he’d kissed all those nights ago that had made me lurch from his touch though now I was too far gone to do anything other than beg for him. “Matty,” I whined the nickname that I hadn’t dared utter since college.

He froze then, a shaky breath leaving him as his nose rubbed against my leg. “Fuck,” he whispered. I opened my mouth to urge him along, but the words died on my tongue as he licked a flat stripe between my legs. A high-pitched moan left me as he flattened his tongue against my arousal, setting a soul-shattering pace. I threw my head back as he ate me out like a man starved. Licking and kissing until I was entirely incoherent. “I’m sorry.” I knew the apology wasn’t for his teasing. There was pain in our shared past, a lot of it, for a second, I wasn’t sure how one-sided it was. I could no longer be sure I was its sole custodian.

I was unable to formulate a response as his lips wrapped around my clit. My nipples were pert and begging for attention as I arched my back at the intense burn of pleasure that seared through me. Gasps and squeaky moans fell from my lips as he continued to lick me. He laid his arm over my torso, pinning my hips down against the counter. I writhed under his hold, reaching my hand around frantically and begging him, for what I was unsure. The warmth of his palm filled my own as he intertwined our fingers. The relief and ease it brought me solidified my belief that he knew me better than I knew myself most days.

He moaned against me then, the vibration sending another wave of earth-shattering pleasure through me causing my body to lurch slightly off the counter. When I realized my thighs were clenched tightly around his head, I instantly loosened my grip, spreading my legs further. His arm left my torso then, firmly grasping my leg and pulling it tighter, trapping himself between my legs once more; his other hand never left my own. He continued to moan against me, his sounds were so loud and sure that one would think it was him who was being pleasured.

“You taste fucking incredible.” He traced an intricate pattern over my skin with his fingertips, bringing them slowly down to where his mouth was attached to me. His index finger met no resistance as he slipped it inside of me, the second finger causing me to bite my lip hard. My nose was scrunched as the pleasure bathed me in its cool embrace.

It was when he curled his fingers inside me and sucked hard at my clit that my hips bucked upward toward him. “Fuck, yes!” I cried.

“Stop fucking moving.” He spoke huskily only causing my moans to grow in volume.

“I’m sorry, Matty! Oh my god please, don’t stop, please.”

“Fuck, it’s okay sweetheart, Christ I’m gonna cum before you even touch me if you keep talking to me like that.” I was so close, right on the edge as he remained steadfast in his mission to make me combust. He gripped my hand tighter as I continued pleading. The pace of his fingers quickened as he began to suck harder at my over-sensitive clit. I clutched him, rocking my hips gently as he continued, scared if I moved too much, he’d stop delivering this sweet torturous pleasure. “Let go, sweetheart, cum all over my fingers, please I want you to make a mess for me.” That was all it took for my stomach to tighten and my entire body to explode into bliss. I threw my head back as my vision went white and my nerve endings felt as if they were alight. Cool water bathed me, tranquil and weightless, for a moment there was nothing but its embrace.

The sensation of Matt’s teeth sinking slightly into the flesh of my thigh brings me back to the kitchen with him. Suddenly he is on his feet once more, pulling me to sit upright as he observed me sightlessly. A single step forward is all it takes for his body to be flush against my own. He is still clad in his shirt and slacks, a far cry from the vulnerability of my flesh laid bare for him. I can taste myself on his lips, as his tongue dances with mine, grip tightening on my thigh, as if it is all that anchors him to this life. We did not speak as he pulls me into his arms, one hand beneath my ass the other still holding my thigh. I clung to him as he carried me toward my room, assisted by my verbal cues. He allowed me to move to my feet when we stood before my bed. I made quick work of his buttons pushing the fabric from his shoulders hastily before moving on to his slacks. I wrenched the belt from his waist leaving his pants on but unzipped. Biting my lip I observed him, he’d removed his glasses the second we entered my apartment, his hair was all over the place from my hands and his lips were swollen. My chest was heaving with the tension that was pulled taut between us. The air was thick with it, almost hard to swallow down.

“Take your pants off.”

He rose a solitary eyebrow at my tone, lips upturning in amusement. “That’s cute.”

“Shut up.”

“Watch your mouth.” I stepped toward him pressing a soft, sweet, lingering kiss against his lips. His eyes were still partially closed as I pulled away, flattening my palm on his chest, shoving him; he didn’t move an inch. “Careful, sweetheart. Wouldn’t want you to get yourself hurt.”

My hand remained against his chest. I attempted once more to shove him onto my bed, this time, however, his fingers wrapped around my wrist, and he yanked me abruptly toward him causing me to crash against his chest. My heart was thrumming as the smirk he wore grew, I was on my back less than a moment later.

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