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fuckyeahdindjarin · 4 months

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Ravel

A Seams Christmas special oneshot | Moodboard

{ Part IV: Notch | Series Masterlist | Main Masterlist }

Rating: T

Summary: Joel swings by yours with a little something before Christmas dinner at Tommy and Maria's.

Warnings: Unapologetic fluff and softness, inspired by this ask from @casssiopeia from the beginning of the year, no use of Y/N, very lightly edited

Word count: 2k

Notes: I'm so proud of writing up this little drabble. I've been in such a weird place with my writing, I'm just happy to end the year on a creative high. Obviously, I'm a few days late to Christmas, but better late than never!

There is a voice in my head telling me that this isn't good enough, that it doesn't hold up to what I was writing earlier this year. But I need to rewire my brain. There is no such thing as 'good' or 'bad' when it comes to fanfiction. All fanfiction is good fanfiction. This is our hobby, not our jobs, and we need to be kind to ourselves.

I am posting this at 11:59pm on New Year's Eve. Happy new year y'all, I hope Joel and Pin can bring you some festive cheer ❤️

Joel is this close to have a fucking breakdown.

He would measure out how close this is between his thumb and index finger if they were not currently tangled in webs of yarn, rapidly unravelling from from the bottom of what is supposed to be a sweater.

Your sweater.

The book that Lucy lent him months ago lies on the table before him, the pages yellowed and dogeared, open at the the easiest pattern of the lot to knit - a simple pullover in chunky yarn, in your favourite colour.

Well, it was supposed to be easy, anyway.

Despite Lucy basically holding his hand throughout the whole project, he’s had far less time than anticipated to work on it. Too many nights he finds himself at Tommy and Maria’s, elbow deep in dirty baby’s clothes and diapers, making himself useful for whatever needs to be done around the house.

Even Ellie chips in without being asked, often bringing back food from the canteen and making sure the severely sleep-deprived adults are eating, if not well fed. Joel honestly doesn’t remember how he did it with Sarah as a clueless twenty-something, with an even more clueless younger brother.

As he attempts to free himself from the quagmire of wool, he grimaces at the stiffness all over his body, feeling it especially in his back after sleeping in an armchair all night with a rapidly growing two-month old.

He’s too old for this shit - but there’s no saying no to the little rascal with Tommy’s nose and Maria’s eyes.

The knitting needles clatter to the floor when he jumps at the front door opening and slamming shut, a frustrated fuuuuuuck slipping past his gritted teeth.

Ellie’s voice rings out loud and clear as she scampers up the stairs, getting progressively louder until she’s outside his study. ‘Hey! Did you remember to put the potatoes in the oven? We have to leave for Tommy’s in an hour - dude, what the fuck is happening?’

‘What do you think is happenin’?’ he growls.

Crossing her arms, Ellie leans against the doorframe wearing a far too amused expression. ‘Maria said no gifts.’

Joel rolls his eyes. ‘It’s not for Maria.’

The teenager squints, perplexed, at the bits of wool in his hands. ‘What is that meant to be?’

‘... A sweater.’

Ellie bites her bottom lip, holding in a poorly concealed giggle. ‘I think a sweater is meant to have sleeves.’

‘You think?’

‘Want me to go get Lucy?’

With a heavy sigh, he mutters, ‘Fine.’

At the arch of her half-eyebrow, Joel adds begrudgingly, ‘Please.’

Ellie grins, sneakers skidding on the floorboards as she takes off. ‘Hang in there, old man!’

Despite the cold, his palms are sweaty, sticking to the kraft paper wrapped haphazardly around the even more haphazard package clutched tightly in his right hand.

The night air mists before him in puffs of white as he shuffles a path through the falling snow. His ears are tingling from the cold, and flexing the stiff, frozen tips of his fingers, Joel knows he should’ve worn his gloves. They weren’t in their usual place by the door though, and he was so frazzled that he barely got his shoes tied up before dashing out the door, sending Ellie ahead with the potatoes (that are definitely undercooked) to his brother’s.

Your cottage glows yellow and orange in the darkness, and your stairs no longer creak when he trudges up them, having fixed them just in time before the first snowfall.

He hears your footsteps come from deep within this house when he knocks. Your eyes are wide when your door cracks open tentatively, but then your lips curve into a smile - the smile that he takes with him and keeps him warm when he has to leave Jackson for days-long patrols.

‘What are you doing here?’ you ask, ushering him inside, not batting an eye at the snow he tracks inside. ‘I thought we were meeting at Maria’s.’

Pressing a kiss to your lips, he softens at the way you lift your face towards him to catch it, careful to keep the parcel out of sight behind his back. ‘Yeah, we were, but thought I’d see if you need a hand with anythin’.’

‘Such a gentleman,’ you tease.

A low fire burns in the hearth, the wood he chopped for you in the fall stacked in a tidy pile next to the mantelpiece. Sweeping his eyes across the living space, he spots the book with the cracked spine that he reads when he’s here on the coffee table, next to yours. On the other side of the couch is the Christmas tree that he cut for you, and he watched you dress it up in tinsel and fairylights one night after a quiet dinner and before hot cocoa under thick blankets.

He likes seeing himself at your home. In the things he does for you; in his things, casually scattered around - like they belong in your space.

‘The pies are in the kitchen, could you please put them in a bag?’ you ask. ‘I’ll just grab my coat and we can go.’

‘Sure, sweetheart,’ he answers, waiting until you’ve disappeared into the bedroom before setting down the present under the tree.

He’s leaning against the back of the couch when you pop back in, a few layers deeper than when you left him, the pies nestled safely in a carrier bag by his boots.

‘Shall we?’ you ask brightly.

Joel hesitates, wondering if he should wait until after dinner to tell you about the present. It only takes his eyes darting to the foot of the tree for the briefest moment for you to catch on. The slow smile that stretches your cheeks and lights up your eyes warms him from the inside out.

You cock your head to one side, playing coy. ‘What’s that, Joel?’

He shrugs, feigning cool. ‘Why don’t you go ahead and find out?’

His chest physically swells at the way you dash towards the tree, landing on your knees in uncharacteristic recklessness, the impact only softened by the rug underneath. You cradle the lumpy package to your chest like something precious. ‘You got me a present.’

He settles on the end of the couch next to you, his heart beating harder in his ribcage than he’d like to admit. ‘Don’t get your hopes up, sweetheart.’

You frown at him. ‘Why?’

‘You’ll see, but I wanted to give it to you anyway.’

You open the package carefully, as if it was wrapped in the fancy paper people used to buy at the shop. Joel holds his breath when you peel it away to reveal what’s inside.

He’s far too inside his own head to hear your inhale that sounds a lot like wonder. You pick up the sweater gently, shaking it out, and Joel winces when he sees it in the flicker of the firelight.

Disastrous doesn’t begin to cover it. Lucy managed to connect the sleeves to the shapeless body in a last-ditch salvage attempt, but one is clearly longer than the other. The stitches are untidy, some have obviously caught onto something and pulled loose. Rough around the edges is putting it kindly.

Joel wants to reach out, grab it, chuck it into the fire and let the flames swallow it whole.

Finally, the silence gets the better of him, and he blurts out. ‘I’m sorry.’

You stare at him, stunned. ‘What?’

Under his whiskers, his cheeks flush in embarrassment, and he rambles, ‘I’m sorry, I don’t know what I was thinkin’. You deserve better sweetheart, here, let me -’

You almost lose your balance keeping the sweater out of his reach. ‘Don’t you dare, Joel Miller.’

Confused, he watches you rise to your feet, shucking your outer coat and another layer. ‘What are you doin’?’

Grabbing the sweater, you slide it over your head and thread your arms through the sleeves. The soft knit drapes over your curves, too big over your shoulders and the hem falling unevenly, higher on the right side than the left. One sleeve is long enough to cover half your hand, while the other sits right on the wrist.

And yet.

You’re beaming like you just picked up something at Bloomin’dales or whatever the fuck those department stores were called back then.

‘I love it,’ you declare, no trace of irony in your voice, as hard as he’s trying to find it.

He scoffs in disbelief. ‘C’mon, sweetheart, you’re just sayin’ it -’

You surprise him, grabbing him by the scruff of his collar and dragging him towards you to plant a firm kiss on his lips.

‘I love it,’ you repeat slowly, with conviction, as if willing him to believe you. ‘Thank you.’

He doesn’t quite still, but he smiles and kisses you back. ‘Merry Christmas, sweetheart.’

‘Since we’re doing this -’ you trail off, sliding out of his grip to reach around the back of the tree, pulling out a neatly wrapped gift. ‘This is for you.’

Joel pauses.

For him.

For the longest time, nothing had been for him unless it was soul-crushing grief and pain.

And yet here it is - his name on the tag written in your neat handwriting. Something he can hold in his hands. For him.

His fingers tremble when he reaches out. The package is soft, and the paper crackles under his grip. He all but tears it open, uncaring of the way the wrapping falls to the floor.

A laugh bubbles out of his throat, and you look relieved at his reaction. ‘You like it?’

It’s not quite a Santa hat. It’s a chunky dark red beanie with a white brim folded back, and topped with a white pompom.

‘My ears were so cold walkin’ over. It’s perfect,’ he says, pulling it over the crown of his head. Of course, it fits just right, sliding soft and warm over his ears. He adds with a wink, ‘Y’know what, I might just shimmy down some chimneys after dinner.’

‘As long as you shimmy down mine too,’ you retort, not hearing the euphemism.

Joel quirks an eyebrow at that, one large palm squeezing your backside through the layers. ‘That an open invitation, sweetheart?’

You duck your head, more out of habit than actual shyness, with mischief in your smile. ‘Don’t be so crude, Joel Miller.’

Adjusting his new hat so that it sits comfortably, he points at the pompom and jokes, ‘Shame I can’t wear this on patrols.’

Right on cue, you hold up a finger. ‘Funny you should say that.’

He chuckles when you pull out a second, plain black beanie, as if out of thin air. ‘You really thought of everythin’, sweetheart.’

You shrug playfully. ‘I’m smart like that.’

‘I know you are,’ he smiles.

‘Merry Christmas, Joel.’

His lips find yours again in a slow, lingering kiss that has you leaning into him for more when he pulls back. ‘Thank you. For everythin’.’

You hold his gaze - heavy with meaning, light with joy. It wouldn’t take more than a tilt of the head towards the bedroom to derail your evening plans, and you both know it.

In the end, you’re the one who stays strong. Taking one step back from his warmth, you reach for your coat. ‘We’re late, we should go.’

His eyes widen. ‘Wait - you’re not wearin’ that to dinner are you?’

‘Of course I am,’ you say, buttoning up your coat over the sweater.

‘You don’t have to, sweetheart,’ he almost pleads with you.

You grin, heading for the door, blowing out candles as you go. ‘Too bad, I’m never taking it off.’

Joel shakes his head with a wry huff. ‘Well, I hope not never -’

You have one foot out the door when you suddenly remember. ‘I almost forgot - you left your gloves here last time. They’re in the cupboard by the door.’

Ah, that’s where they went. He opens the drawer and pulls them on, one after the other, the leather, worn smooth with age, creaking as he wraps his fingers around the handles of the carrier bag.

Joel is about to follow you out the door when he pauses over the threshold. Glancing down at the black beanie in his grasp, he reaches up and hooks it on the coat rack, nestled among your clothes.

He hopes that when the time comes for him to wear it for the first time - maybe on a patrol that will take him away from you for a few days - it will smell like you.

Gorgeous dividers by @firefly-graphics ❄️

More notes: I hope I will return to the main series in the new year. I've missed these two lovebirds, I hope you enjoyed this little interlude! ❤️

#fuckyeahseams #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller fluff #joel miller fic #joel imagine #joel miller x reader #joel miller x f!reader #joel miller x fem!reader #the last of us fanfiction #pedro pascal character fanfiction #goodbye 2023

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mournings-stars · 2 months

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doubt comes in

happy valentines day, here's my apology in advance for the angst. this is heavily based on the story of orpheus and eurydice specifically in the musical hadestown (my fav) with inspo from the lyrics so a lot of this is written with the intention to rhyme and be in a hadestown-esque song.. I probably wont write like this often, but i hope y'all like it there's one mention of pronouns (she/her) with lilith since i basically swapped the reader for orpheus and luci for eurydice but other than that i don't think there's much to indicate this is a fem!reader but this is an angel!reader if anyone would like a precursor with fluff, i'll compensate yall for the dramatic greek angst

part 2 (prelude) part 3 (prelude pt. 2) part 4 (prelude pt. 3) part 5/finale (semi-alt ending)

It was a long way down; winding, golden steps in a narrow hall that you didn’t know the depth of until you reached the bottom. Your legs ached with each step, and your wings fought not to fly the rest of the way. You could see it in the distance when you reached the ground, the red heat of the pride ring, and the home you were headed to.

It hadn’t been long since Lucifer fell, maybe a few months since he and his love were banished to the darkness he created with the worst of humankind, but you were given a blessing.

Sera, the oldest of the angels, allowed you to go down to Hell to retrieve him. There was a catch, however, one that made you wary as you now neared his home.

You could only retrieve Lucifer. He had to leave his love, and you had to trust that he would follow you. You had to lead the way back up the golden staircase she created for you, all the way to the very top where the golden gates you knew so well waited for you. Lucifer had to walk behind you without a sound; he couldn’t assure you that he was there. You just had to trust one another. To follow, and not to check.

You couldn’t turn around.

Finally, you reached his home, knocking on the door and waiting patiently before it was opened. “It’s you…” You knew his voice well, the sound of it making your heart swell as you wrapped your arms around him.

He was quick to return the embrace, the ache in your legs vanishing for a moment in his arms. “It’s me.” He sighed, hugging you tighter and shutting his eyes with his head on your chest. He could hear the drumming of your heart, and he knew if he held you long enough he’d be back in Heaven when he opened his eyes.

But he had to let go.

“How are you here?” He asked a question and it was like a melody, clear as day and symphonic as the winds that flowed beside you as you descended that steep staircase down to Hell. He stepped back, hands lingering until you stepped away.

“Sera allowed me to come down,” you said. “She said I could bring you back — that you could leave this place…” You looked around, shifting uncomfortably in the unnatural heat before you turned back to him with a gentle smile. “Come home with me.”

He laughed, shaking his head. “It’s a trick. She’s never liked me—“

“No!” You grabbed his hands, forcing him to look at you. “It’s a trial — or a second chance at one.”

It had taken you days to get down. You hadn’t seen Lucifer in months. A few days without looking back at him would be nothing if that meant an eternity back home.

He squeezed your hands, looking down at them and suddenly feeling that it might just be possible. “How?”

“It took a while,” you said quietly. “She didn’t want to listen, but I knew you had the best intentions. I convinced her, and she’s letting you come home.”

“She’s letting me try.” He looked down, dropping your hands and frowning at the ground. “What’s the catch?”

“You have to follow me—“

“I can do that,” he said quickly.

“And you can’t touch me, or speak to me. You just have to trust that I’ll get us there and that I won’t look back—“

He cut you off with a dry laugh. “Just?” He laughed harder. “We both know how this will go.”

“I trust you to follow me. Don’t you trust me?”

“Of course I do!” His hands went to your face, holding gently. You moved out of his grip, feeling the coolness of the band on his left hand. “We were always close; I trust you, I just… don’t trust her—“

“You should go, Lu,” a voice came from behind him, and the woman you recognized from Eden stood there. Her hair, long and blonde, flowed behind her in non-existent winds. Her smile made you understand why he fell — why he would for her. “Go home with her.”

It was decided then. Just one encouraging push from his love and he was prepared to leave. He looked back at her, giving a smile that made you look away as you turned.

As they said their goodbyes, you waited quietly, kicking at the ground absentmindedly until Lucifer put a hand on your shoulder. “Ready?” You nodded. “Alright.”

“We can walk together until we reach the stairs… Then, from there, we’re on our own.”

“I won’t leave you alone,” he assured. “I’ll make sure you get back home.”

You frowned at his wording, taking his hand. “We’ll both go home.”

He nodded, correcting himself and squeezing your hand, “I’ll make sure we both get home.”

You nodded. “Let’s go.”

The walk was quiet before it had to be, doubt already coming in and making its way between you. What would happen when you reached the stairs? Would he follow behind you? Who were you to think he would, when his love had to stay in a place like this?

“How bad was it?” Lucifer asked you. “Are you sure you want to go now?” You nodded. “Aren’t you tired?”

“I can rest when we’re home.” You gave him a smile that made him do the same. “You want to go back, don’t you?”

He had his doubts. He doubted that he could. He doubted he could make it all that way. He hadn’t seen you in months, and all he wanted was to talk to you — all he could do was touch you — but there was silence now. Didn’t that mean it’d be easy not to speak? Not to touch you… After all this time. After he found someone to love—

“Sera said if we make it, she’ll listen to you,” you tried, hoping he’d respond. He hadn’t even realized he didn’t answer you. “Maybe we can bring Lilith up soon.”

“I’d like that.”

The smile you gave him made him reach out his hand, the look on your face forced and sorrowful as you walked ahead of him. He wanted to take your hand for comfort — to both of you — but how was he supposed to go days without it if he couldn’t fight a simple urge now?

“We’re here…” You stopped some time later, silence blanketing the two of you a long time ago.

But now it was for a different reason.

Great golden steps stood before you, spiraling high up into thick clouds that shielded the true height of the stairs.

But even from here they looked endless.

“We can’t fly, can we?” Lucifer asked, half joking.

“That’d be nice, wouldn’t it?” You laughed, but it died out quickly. “Are you sure you want to do this? You can turn back now…” You swallowed your pride. “Go home to her… It’ll be days of walking, and going back up is much harder than coming down.”

He took a moment to understand what you were telling him, but surely told you, “If you were down here, I’d come to find you, too.” That brought a smile to your face. There was another pause before he asked, “would you follow me?”

You nodded. “Anywhere.” Even here.

He smiled, taking your hand like he wanted to before. “Then show the way.”

You squeezed his hand before turning to the stairs and letting go, savoring that last touch until you could do it again; back home. You took a deep breath before taking the first step.

Immediately, a marble wall surrounded the staircase, and you could only imagine that the steps were shielded, a wall blocking off the first stair as you started to go back up.

You couldn’t hear a thing, not even your own footsteps as you climbed step after step.

Lucifer, on the other hand, could hear your footsteps echoing; one after the other, each of your steps right after the other, and sounding like the dull pounding of a drum. He couldn’t tell if it was comforting or foreboding, but he listened anyway. This was how he’d make it through, he decided. To the steady sounds of drumming.

But you were struggling. Coming down and back up so soon had made you tired already, but doubt weighing you down didn't help any. You let out a breath before beginning to hum as a way to ground yourself to these hellish stairs.

It was a song both of you knew well; there were no words or swells to make you know what came next, just an endless melody that the winds would sing as they carried the seasons through the Earth. Long before Lucifer went to see the world, this was how you knew it. Through the songs nature sang.

But now he knew the world much better than you did. He didn’t need this song anymore. You doubted he even remembered it,

but no, he was humming along, hoping you could hear that he remembered your song. He remembered how beautiful it was, and how when you sang it, the entirety of Heaven could feel your warmth — your love. It was why you were given the task to change the seasons, your song persuading nature into the most beautiful summers and captivating winters. But what else could he expect from an angel of Virtue? Could he expect that the love that he felt all throughout Heaven would ever be for him? How could he expect anything from you?

Pride does not deserve Humility.

And doubt comes in; he thought about turning back, letting you go alone, but even when he stopped for just a moment you kept walking. You trusted him to follow you, and as you hummed the song of nature, he felt that same love that he used to. The same warmth that was now pushing him up the endless stairs after you. The same winds that made him want to reach out and touch you, just to remind you that he was there. Just to see you look back at him.

But he knew what you were doing, using your gift of song to bring nature into this empty place so it could push you to keep going. You hoped the winds would push you up, but they weren’t strong enough.

You weren’t strong enough for this.

The song stopped after a while, but you continued to climb, up, and up, and further up to no avail. If it hadn’t been that there was only one path, you would’ve questioned whether or not you were going the right way.

It was harder going back.

But there was hope; a faint, golden light that led you back home. A faint, golden light that told you you were so close. A faint, golden light that made you want to turn, smile at him, and say, “we’re almost home,” but you stopped yourself and kept going.

You were much further than almost, but you were getting there. And this light pulled you to keep. Going.

You didn’t care for the exhaustion, or the pain, you didn’t think about the hunger, or the thirst. You kept in mind that you would sleep, rest, eat, and drink when you made it home with him.

When he made it home with you. He would worry about how tired you must’ve been. He would worry how much pain you were in — and he would worry about his own once he made it home with you. But he saw how you faltered, hand on the wall to keep yourself going, and he knew he couldn’t make it much longer like this.

But you trusted him, he had to try.

And doubt comes in.

He doubted how much longer he could take this. He doubted how much longer he could watch you fade into exhaustion and pain without doing anything about it.

He doubted that Sera didn’t expect this to happen.

He doubted, and doubted, until you were finally there. Until you were almost sure he hadn’t followed you. Until your legs gave out on the final step and you felt him rush to keep you from falling. You felt his hands keeping you up and his wings bringing you onto the pale clouds of your home.

And you turned back.

But he was happy that you did. He gave you that same smile he gave her and his hands held your face gently. You reached up to grip his wrists as your eyes pooled. Regret; regret for doubting, regret for tiring, for failing. For turning back. “Why would you?” You asked and it was like a broken melody. Clear as summer rain with no symphony to push away the doubt that just kept coming in.

And he spoke to you. He broke every rule.

“I couldn’t let you fall,” he said, and you knew how he meant it. You knew he never trusted Sera. She knew he’d fail. So did he. But not you. You were the fool that made him put his trust in you.

And now you knew he had to go. And he knew he could never return.

He tilted your head down, wings fluttering and lifting him off the clouds. He pressed a gentle kiss to your head and said, “Visit again if you can.”

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samkerrworshipper · 4 months

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twos a company, threes a crowd pt.4 | alexia putellas x reader x lucy bronze

r is loaned to real madrid and suffers with being away from her partners for so long… when the el clasico rolls around all of her problems are solved… but not without some repercussions for her actions.

warnings: angst, fluff, comfort, sadness, over working, touch deprived, sleep deprived, punishment, safe word use, injury, concussion, so much angst lol but y'all were begging for it.

Getting loaned to Real Madrid was possibly the worst thing that had ever happened to you.

You’d been blindsided by the request, you were happy at Barcelona, you were Barcelona’s star striker, an indomitable force on the field and you’d just won the Liga F golden boot, you were everything to Barca, until you weren’t. It was astronomical to your teammates that Barcelona would loan you out, seemingly it was for the money and with the hopes that you would learn some leadership skills from being the strongest in a team. Real Madrid was paying a hefty fee for your season with them, but it still hurt knowing that to Barcelona you were a mere transaction.

Everything you loved and knew were in Barcelona, your family, your girlfriends, your house, your dogs and cat, your friends.

Madrid was great, and there were plenty of upsides to the team, they were all lovely, the coaching staff was great, your new apartment was awesome, but there were things missing, your girlfriends firstly.

You face timed every day. It had been impossible for the two women helping you pack up and move all of your things across the country. Sure, they were only a six hour drive away and a hour long flight away, but it killed them both nonetheless.

They saw the way that as the season progressed you began to become more tucked up in your own shell, the bright light in your eyes slowly fading. It killed them, talking to you every night and seeing the way that your eyes struggled to meet their own anymore.

They loved you more than anything, but you were a person who needed structure, you couldn’t function by yourself. You needed attention, attention that they couldn’t grant you from hundreds of kilometres away, so you started to get cheeky and bratty. Sending them videos of you touching yourself in the shower, or explicitly disregarding text messages they were sending you. Normally, the two older women would be pissed off, and they were, but the underlying theme was that you were struggling, struggling being away and your coping mechanism was to act out for their attention. The more weeks that passed without their presence, the more needy you became for them, the desperation for your two girlfriends growing in your stomach and slowly swallowing up all of the other organs that resided in your body.

With the El Clasico match quickly approaching though, the women took solace in knowing that you would be able to spend the rest of the weekend after the game, that they’d finally have you in their arms and for even a second they could make you feel loved and less alone.

You’d agreed that before the game you’d be strictly professional, you’d stay in your hotel room but as soon as the game was over you were heading back to your old house for a few days of peace with your girlfriends. You were a little bit scared, when the facetime request chimed in from your phone the night beforehand, you were lying in your hotel bed and you couldn’t help but feel anxious. Because you knew what you’d been doing to the women the last few weeks, it had been like a game for you, seeing just how much you could push before you found the end to the Barcelona players tethers.

“Hola Bebita.”

You pushed yourself up from the bed sheets, sitting yourself up against the headboard to get a proper view at Lucy, whose face was directly in front of yours on the phone screen.

“Hi Luce.”

Your voice was as meek as ever, your throat clearing itself from the sleepy haze you’d been in.

“How you doing sweetheart?”

Lucy’s voice was so sweet, it was interesting to you, considering the outwardly explicit videos you’d been sending them over the week, progressively getting more scandalous the closer your date came to travelling to Barcelona for the game. You were expecting a angry Lucy, deiniftely an angry Alexia, especially considering that you’d broken her one cardinal rule that she’d given you before you left.

Do not orgasm without her permission.

That wasn’t to say that Alexia was expecting you to hold out for months at times, of course not, she just expected you to call or text her, so she could guide you through it, you’d explicitly ignored that rule, and you expected her to be annoyed.

“I’m okay, tired from the train, how’s Ale’s knee?”

There was worry laced in your words, when you’d received the news that Alexia had a set back with her knee you’d been gutted for her, and worried, because Alexia tended to fall down the rabbit hole when she was injured, and you just hoped that she was doing alright.

“It’s a minor injury, nothing to do with her ACL, which is good. She’s sitting out tomorrow, so she’s obviously upset, but it’s not her ACL, so that’s what matters the most. She’s in the bathroom right now, but I’ll chuck her on when she’s done. How are you feeling about tomorrow?”

Lucy’s voice was so genuine, so calm, so caring, and if you were feel less insecure you probably would have confessed all of your worries to her, but you felt so fucking desperate for Lucy and Alexia that it was starting to hurt you but you also didn’t want to come across as needy, even if you felt like you were breaking at the seems for them.

“Okay.”

Your answer was short, and Lucy frowned at it, because she knew that you were most likely feeling anything but okay. She was going to push it, but she was interrupted by Alexia emerging from the bathroom and walking over to join her on the bed, climbing under the sheets and pulling Lucy’s phone from her hands so she could look at you.

“Hola bebe, how are you?”

Alexia’s voice is gruff, and if you didn’t know her so well you probably wouldn’t have picked up on the slight puffiness to her eyes, that told you she’d probably been crying whilst she was tucked away in the bathroom, you knew her like the back of your palm though.

“I’m okay, how’s your knee?” There was some obvious tension coming from Alexia, tension that you were sure you’d get to feel in person tomorrow.

“I’ve had bigger setbacks, we still have to assess the scans indepthly and get a treatment plan in action. It’s probably just a few rough weeks, but I’ll make it.”

You nod, she always does, she never fails to amaze you with her can-do attitude and determination to always be better, to always be at the top of whatever she’s doing.

“I believe in you.”

Ale gives you a soft smile, and it doesn’t calm all of the nerves contained in you but it does manage to calm your heart down.

“We’re so excited to see you tomorrow amor, you’re going to make us proud even in that ugly uniform.”

You know that no matter what club you are at, Alexia and Lucy are always going to be your biggest supporters, but you can’t shake the reminder that tomorrow, when you step on the pitch, all of your friends and family are going to be your enemy.

It plucks at your heartstrings, and almost sends tears to the back of your eyes.

“How’s the team been? I feel like we haven’t talked about any of it with us all being so busy.”

The team was fine.

That was the problem, the team was your team, but they weren’t your family, they weren’t the support that you needed and craved.

“They’re good, Olga’s been nice and me and Raso get along.”

The two women nodded, they knew they weren’t going to get much from you, but this was even less than what they had expected.

“That’s good, you can tell us all about it tomorrow, hmm? We’re so excited to hear every single detail.”

The way both of their faces were so happy and content made your stomach do front flips.

“I’m excited to see you guys as well.”

It’s hard for you to admit, because for the last six or so weeks that you’ve been apart, you’ve internally been denying it, trying to convince yourself that you were fine without them, but in reality you were struggling more than ever.

Alexia gave you a small smile, her lips tightening upwards into a sweet smile.

“You’ve been taking care of yourself, sí? Getting your sleep and listening to your dietician?”

You don’t like lying to anybody, especially Lucy and Alexia, but in your mind in some situations, there is justification for some white lies, especially when it’s going to benefit the person you’re lying to.

“Yup.”

Your words are half empty, trying to get this conversation over as soon as possible.

“Well, we’d better let you get to sleep then, we’ll see you tomorrow bebe, don’t hesitate to call us if anything happens, okay?”

You nodded at the two of them, a little part of your heart begging for them to hang up so you didn’t have to see how happy they were together, how at peace the two of them looked lying in bed together without you.

“Bye, see you tomorrow.”

They both smiled at you, Lucy pressed a kiss to the camera.

“We love you amor, good luck tomorrow.”

You gulped, just another reminder of what tomorrow held.

“Love you guys too, see you tomorrow.”

Before you had to look at them any longer you pressed the red button, dropping your phone onto the duvet and groaning into the pillow behind you.

You’d never considered yourself as the jealous type, in the beginning of your relationship you’d been the glue that kept it all together, Alexia brought Lucy in for you, not for herself. When you’d been in Barca their relationship had grown slowly, but surely, you encouraged it.

When you’d left, you’d almost been scared that it would be the end of your relationship with the both of them, you just weren’t sure that they’d be able to sustain it, but you’d watched their relationship strengthen massively, the two of them becoming practically inseparable in your absence.

You were happy for them, so incredibly happy, but it made you feel a little bit out of place, a little bit like when you returned to Barca everything would be different, maybe all of their love was being used for each other and they didn’t have anymore to give to you.

It felt like you’d become a chore for them, a scheduled call every few nights, flowers or meals showing up on your doorstep every week from them, texts here and there asking how you were doing.

You were all trying your best, but they had each other, the both of them got to come home to each other every night, you came home to an empty apartment.

Your apartment was a shell, exactly the same as when you’d moved in.

You didn’t put out any pictures, didn’t buy any furniture, it seemed pointless to you, because Real Madrid was supposed to be temporary, you didn’t want to settle down, didn’t want to become at home in a place that you would be leaving as soon as you could.

You knew it wasn’t exactly healthy, but it worked for you, or it worked for the first little while.

The hard part though was that you didn’t have a home at all, and a person can only survive so long without having some form of home, some form of comfort.

You tried your hardest to sleep through the night, to get some rest before the game, but no sleep came to you as you lay in the lump hotel bed trying your very hardest.

The team all woke up at 7 o'clock and headed down for breakfast, you went with them but kept to yourself, sitting by yourself.

You weren’t hungry, more emotionally starved than anything.

You got a few wayward glances, but you ignored them, opting for scrolling through your phone and trying to put yourself in the right headspace to get you ready for the hellish day that was to come.

It was a 12pm game so as soon as breakfast was done the whole team was being sent to the bus to Camp Nou.

It was a bittersweet feeling, returning to a place that had so many incredibly positive memories for you, with a completely different group of people, people that you liked but you didn’t love.

Your anxiety only rose as you got even closer to the stadium, the realisation of what was about to happen setting in for you.

Stepping off the bus and into the stadium was weird, normally, it would be with your closest friends, Ale by your side as the two of you stepped foot into a place that had been the highlight of so many of your childhood dreams.

Barca had always been the dream, when the two of you were little kids it had seemed unachievable, a mere figment of your imaginations, and then it had come true, but it wasn’t your life anymore.

You kept your head down, speed walking into the change rooms and getting into your game kit as quickly as possible before walking out on the pitch to warm up by yourself.

Instead of being met with an empty pitch, you were met with a lot of your ex teammates already out warming up, and your girlfriends as well as your closest friends loitering by the sidelines.

It’s impossible to avoid them, they’re standing directly in front of the entrance to the pitch, you wouldn’t put it past Alexia or Lucy to have planned it, planned a little sneak attack on you pre-match.

You dragged your feet up and out of the tunnel, loitering a little bit as you waited for one of the women to take notice of you.

It didn’t take long, Ingrid being the first one to spot you, her big green Norwegian eyes lighting up when they landed on you, her arms lighting up almost immediately, a small squeal leaving her lips.

The whole group was quick to turn to you, both Alexia and Lucy’s faces lighting up as they took you in.

“Bebita!”

Alexia looked insane for an injured person, the Barca olympic t-shirt and leather jacket hugging her body perfectly and making her look absolutely drop dead gorgeous.

Alexia’s big arms opened to you, and you allowed yourself the luxury of walking into them.

You felt so safe, so at home, it made you sort of sick to your stomach, so much so that you forced yourself out of her arms.

You knew it was only going to be harder the more you integrated yourself with them over the next few days, because it would only make leaving that much harder.

Alexia frowned a little bit at the way you almost pushed her off of you, it hurt the Catalan woman more than she would ever admit.

“You oldies ready to get your asses kicked?”

Mapi’s jaw dropped, her arms reaching for you to put you into a headlock, the only thing stopping her being Ingrid.

“Oldies? Disculpe? It’s called being experienced.”

You smiled a little bit at Mapi, she was like your older sister, the closest you had to one.

“Sounds like an excuse for being old.”

Mapi just rolled her eyes at you, her arms opening up for a hug and you allowing her to.

“It’s good to see you, nena.”

Mapi lets you go fairly quickly, letting you take a step back from the group.

“It’s good to see you all as well, I’ve missed you guys.”

It was murmured under your breath, the loudest you could vocalise without the words hitting you across the chest.

“We’re going to have to put a stop to your scoring fun tonight I think, 4 braces in a row? Can’t let you get too big for you… what is it the English say? Pants?”

Ingrid rolled her eyes at her girlfriend and her lack of knowledge for English idioms.

“Britches, but we get your point.”

Mapi nodded, a little sparkle in her eye.

“Yes, well, me and Lucia will have to work hard to keep your magical feet at bay.”

You laughed humorously, entertaining María.

“I guess we’ll have to see, you oldies should get to warming up, don’t want to harm those old bones.”

Alexia hit you across the shoulder, rolling her eyes at you before bringing you into a brief hug and then pushing you towards your half of the pitch, where a few of your teammates were already warming up.

You went through the motions, all of it blurring in your mind as your eyes glazed over the iconic Barcelona stadium, this was once your home, it was the pinnacle of your career, not today though.

Walkingout of the tunnel, and onto the pitch, a crowd full of blue, red and yellow, normally would be the adrenaline hit of a lifetime, enough for you to walk up mount everest, but not today, today it did nothing but make you weak at the knees and sick to your stomach.

You did your best to avoid your former teammates' eyes as you shook hands before taking your starting positions.

Mapi was marking you, which wasn’t abnormal for when you were in training, but dealing with it during a game was a whole different playing field.

She was one of the best centre backs in the game, you knew this, the crowd knew it.

You were faster though, more agile, quicker on your toes.

That was your advantage, that was what you had to use against her, and you planned to do so.

The first thirty minutes saw no shot opportunities for you, Salma and Aitana both managed to slot in their own goals though, leaving Real Madrid and yourself with big room for improvement.

You put your head down, focused on what you knew you could do, waiting for the opportunity to come, and it finally did in the form of a beautiful cross from Olga that was sent directly to your head and then into the back of the net.

Your team went wild, you were shocked, completely gobsmacked at how the ball managed to somehow slot itself into the corners of the goal, you didn’t have time to wonder though, your whole team engulfed you in a big hug.

You couldn’t think, couldn’t breathe, the crowd booing you as your teammates pushed you back to your position gutted you, never in your life would you have expected to be booed after scoring, but here you were, standing in the stadium of your childhood dreams with a crowd booing at you.

It was then, in that very moment, that everything sort of set in for you, and as Barca kicked off you couldn’t help but find yourself stuck in position, your studs dug into the turf as you willed your legs to move.

All you could do was sit and watch the ball moving on the other side of the pitch, the blood was rushing to your ears, deafening you of the booing and making you feel like you were in a fishbowl.

You felt like a spectator, a external part of your body.

It was only when the ball was being sent your way, in the form of a pass from Bruun that you finally found yourself being able to move, your legs darting towards the ball as you searched for someone in the box, finding Raso and sending the ball soaring towards her before Mapi had the chance to land a tackle against you.

It was bread and butter, a simple pass, one that you could make in your sleep.

For whatever reason though, it came off your boot completely wrong, not making the distance nor going remotely anywhere near Hayley.

You growled in frustration, cursing under your breath as Lucy of all people took possession of the ball and sent it flying as far down the field as her bott could muster.

Ras sent you a worrying glance, a silent question of what happened, all you could do was shrug and wonder to yourself what was happening? Why was this happening?

You hardly made it to half time, your body just managing to hold itself up long enough to trudge back into the tunnel and down into the Real change rooms, where Alberto was already getting into his half time pep talk.

You accepted a gatorade and protein bar from one of the trainers, focusing all of your energy on sustaining yourself instead of paying attention.

You weren’t trying to be respectful, but today, everything was harder than normal, thinking, breathing, moving, living.

You weren’t sure why, you were fairly sure you didn’t really want to know why, you just knew that today of all days just wasn’t yours, and it made you hate every single part of yourself.

By the time half time was over and you were making your way back onto the field, your head was somewhere else entirely, everything from the past few weeks playing on repeat in your head.

You weren’t in the headspace to be doing anything at all, let alone play out a match of football, but it wasn’t like you had a choice.

It was clear Mapi had picked up on your inattentiveness, her eyebrows furrowed in concern as the both of you tried to watch the ball moving on the other side of the pitch.

She didn’t push you, she knew better than to, knew from experience that when you got pissed off on the pitch it was a ticking time clock.

The ball didn’t end up anywhere near your feet until the 80 minute mark, Barca’s midfield managing to stop any attempts at getting the ball into your third.

It was aggravating, but you were also grateful, because the longer the ball was away from your feet the further your mind began to drift to places you didn’t trust.

What happened when the game ended?

When you had to go home to Alexia and Lucy and act like all was fine, be their perfect good girl, be whatever they needed or wanted.

The ball finally made it to your feet, just above the right corner of the penalty box, before you could even look at the goals though, Mapi was edging her feet towards the ball, sending you towards the corner between the baseline and sideline, managing to boot the ball out of bounds.

You groaned as everybody set up for a corner, slotting yourself into the goals, watching as Robles set up to take the kick, she was searching for you, nestled between Mapi, Sandra and Pina.

Pina was tugging on your shirt, slowly teetering your off balance and forcing your further forwards then you’d like, closer to the goalpost as every second passed.

You heard the sound of the ball connecting with Robles foot, all you could do was jump and send your body forward to where the ball was supposed to be heading.

You closed your eyes and prayed.

All you felt was an initial contact, it lasted a second at most, the usual length of a header.

Then you felt your body continuing to propel forwards, and then there was secondary contact.

This time it was more blunt, harder, more painful, lasting longer, then there was your body thudding against the pitch, your face going down straight into the grass.

For a few seconds, it was just pure pain, ringing ears, your brain completely unable to process anything more than that.

It wasn’t until somebody rolled you over and the bright light from the sun started to try and penetrate your eyeballs.

“Y/n, Y/n, can you hear me?”

You flinched away from the hand that was dusting the turf off of your face, pushing yourself away from whoever was trying to touch you.

There were more hands though, on your neck and head, preventing you from moving anywhere at all.

This stressed you out, your ears were still ringing, your head swarming as you tried to focus on the faces hovering above yours.

“Y/n, keep still, you hit your head pretty hard, nena.”

It’s Mapi’s voice, extra soft and gentle, her head peeking over yours as she pats your hair out of your eyes and the turf off of your face.

“I’m fine, I’m fine.”

The other people holding your head didn’t give up, holding you still even as you tried to move.

“Nena, stay, the medics need to check your neck out.”

María’s voice is a little bit sterner, enough for you to let out an annoyed sigh but relax, no longer thrashing against the hands holding your neck and head.

“Where’s Ale and Luce?”

Your voice is meek and questioning, a little whisper.

“Lucia is standing a few feet away, Ale is on the sidelines, they’re here for you nena, do you want them?”

Of course you did, they were all you wanted right now, but for whatever reason you shook your head.

“No, no, no.”

Mapi looked half hurt by your answer, but she didn’t question it.

“Okay, that’s okay nena, the medics are almost here okay, just stay calm for me.”

Just as the words left María’s mouth a crew of medics were at your side.

“Hola, how’s your neck and head feeling? You’ve got a nice shiner on your forehead.”

You nodded at the medic, allowing a small smile to fall across your lips.

“Neck is fine, a little bit stiff, head’s throbbing but it’s fine.”

You knew subconsciously that all of the sub windows for Real had been used, that if you were to leave the pitch your team would be down to ten, and that simply wasn’t an option.

Barca might have been up by three goals, but there was a part of you that believed that you maybe still had a chance.

“Okay, well we’re just going to check your neck to be safe, then we’ll concussion test you, sí?”

You shook your head.

“I’m fine, seriously, it was only a little hit. My head doesn’t even hurt.”

That was a lie, your forehead was throbbing so bad that you were struggling to make out different colours, but there was no way you’d admit that to the team doctor, not if you had any hopes of playing out this match and the ones to come in the next few weeks.

“Small hit? Your head practically hugged the post.”

That explained the secondary hit.

“I feel fine, seriously.”

You were doing a piss poor job at trying to be convincing, you knew it, you were fairly sure the medics knew it.

“We have to clear your c-spine and head for concussion, it’s not up for discussion.”

Your body involuntarily slumped into the turf, as Mapi and whoever else was holding your head moved out of the way for the medics to continue their assessment of you.

Flash lights shone in your eyes, and your head was tossed in every which way as they assured you that your neck and spine seemed to be intact.

Once your neck had been checked they allowed you to sit up, painkillers and a drink bottle being forced into your hand.

“You’ve got a concussion, I’m not sure what stage, you need imaging and a proper examination inside the medical room, you need to come off.”

You shook your head, this was the El Clasico, this was the pinnacle of your season, you weren’t coming off for some collision with a pole.

“We’re three goals down, I’m not coming off.”

The medic furrowed her brow at you.

“Two actually, you somehow managed to put the ball in the back of the net, you need to come off.”

Again, you shook your head in complete refusal.

“Is there a sub window left?”

Your medic bit down on her lip and shook her head, after that your mind was completely made up.

“So, I’m not going off to leave my team with ten, I’m playing out the next five minutes and stoppage time, I will deal with the repercussions, when we get back to Madrid.”

You didn’t wait for permission, pushed yourself off of the ground, shoving the water bottle into the trainers hands and righting your uniform.

“Y/n, you need to come off.”

You once again shook your head, sending a thumbs up to the umpire, telling her that you were fine to continue.

You went back to your position, getting as far away from the yelling from your team doctor.

Mapi was on your mark, a very concerned look across her face.

As you took your position beside her, she leant down to whisper in your ear.

“You should be getting checked out.”

You gritted your teeth, you were so sick of everybody telling you what you were supposed to be doing, what you were supposed to be feeling, it was your call to make, nobody else's.

“I’m fine.”

The ball kicked off, the sound of the umpires whistle had stars darting across your vision, all of the background noise from the stadium made the pounding in your skull so much worse.

“That’s bullshit.”

You ran away from María before she had any more of a chance to give her opinion on your current predicament.

The five minutes were hell, your body was tearing at every seam, the throbbing pain in your head was making it hard for you to breathe, impossible to try and focus on the people around you and where the ball was on the field.

Mapi was practically dragging you around the field, her hand hovering on your jersey as she directed you around for the last couple of minutes of stoppage time.

When the final whistle blew, you practically collapsed against your best friend.

“Hey chica, let’s get you off the pitch, yeah?”

You couldn’t do much more than nod into Mapi’s jersey, allowing her to drag you over to a sideline and into the arms of somebody else, who helped to pull you down into the tunnel and into your locker rooms.

The Real locker rooms were very quiet, everybody was too bothered in tugging their cleats and kit off as quickly as possible to pay any attention to you, something you were fiercely grateful for.

You took your time tugging off your uniform, your body slowed down by the blindingly searing headache that was penetrating your head.

Most of the girls decided against showering in the rooms, there were showers at the hotels and there was an obvious overshadowing feeling that the quicker the girls could leave the stadium, the better.

You however, were in no rush to leave, so you clawed off your sweaty kit, flinging it into your cubby and then heading towards the showers.

The hot water against your battered and bruised skin was beautifully painful, it made you feel cleaner, sure your head was pounding but this was like some kind of refuge, at least until Alexia and Lucy came to find you, as soon as that happened you knew you were going to have to put up with two extremely doting and overly-concerned girlfriends.

You weren’t ready for that, you weren’t ready for the two of them to act like they cared for you, to love you so much for two days all for you to have to leave them once again.

You couldn’t do it, you couldn’t take up all that love and space all for it to be ripped away, leaving for national camp was hard enough, at least when that happened there was a guarantee you’d see the both of them after it was done.

You wanted to enjoy their company, how you loved to the most, good, rough, reunion sex. You wanted the two of them to treat you like you were an object, like nothing to them, because that’s how you felt, you felt like just an accessory to their relationship.

Which was kind of ironic to you, because the relationship had started with just you and Ale, the two of you against the whole world, it was great. Adding Lucy to the equation had been fantastic, she was the missing puzzle piece to every single part of you and Ale’s relationship.

It just made being apart from the both of them that bit harder when they got to fall into bed with each other every night whilst you were left all alone in your apartment.

When the boiling water stopped making your skin crawl you stepped out of the shower, drying yourself off procedurally before walking into the empty away rooms and getting yourself changed into a matching plain grey sweatsuit.

It was neutral, you weren’t going to go home with your Barcelona girlfriends fully kitted in Real hear, but you also didn’t feel up to wearing some of Alexia and Lucy’s clothes, it would break you down well before you were ready for it too.

Once you were done getting changed you collected up your gear, finally ready to go see Lucy and Alexia, but you were stopped in the doorway by your favourite team doctor.

“You need scans, and a proper examination.”

You knew theoretically she was right, you did need scans, to make sure that there were no brain bleeds or a significant traumatic injury, but you really didn’t want to either.

“I’m fine, a big bruise and a concussion but apart from that I’m fine.”

You’d tried your very hardest to cover up the bruise, but it was hopeless. There was a big, red, slowly forming bruise down the left side of your face where you’d made contact with the pole.

You were honestly unsure so far as to whether your cheek bone or eye socket were broken, they sure felt like they were but you figured at least it wasn’t your nose. You’d dealt with a broken nose and it was probably up there on the list of one of the worst injuries you’d ever dealt with in terms of practicality.

“You know just as well as I do that you can’t be cleared to leave without an examination.”

You rolled your eyes, an action that hurt a lot more than it probably should have.

“Maya, c’mon, it’s my few days off, as soon as I’m back in Madrid you can assess me every way you want, but just let me rest for now.”

She didn’t move from the doorway, her stare beating down on you.

“You’re going to stay with Putellas, sí?”

You nodded your head, trying to hurry the conversation along.

“I want to speak to her, if you’re going to refuse medical care then the person who you’ll be in company with needs to be aware of the complications that could occur.”

That was almost enough to convince you to get the examination, Alexia was hell when she was aware you were injured, she’d probably make you get the scans and exam.

“I’ll tell her, it’s not that big of a deal, we both know concussion protocol.”

You were really hoping she’d believe you, but you knew as soon as you saw the look on her face that she could see straight through the lie.

“If it’s not that big of a deal then you’ll let me accompany you to the Barca rooms and talk to your girlfriend.”

You couldn’t be bothered with the fight, so you just nodded your head, pushing your way through the door and navigating yourself with ease to the home changerooms.

They were rooms that you were familiar with, you knew Camp Nou like that back of your hand, it was probably your favourite place on earth.

The atmosphere, the history, everything that resonated in Camp Nou was magical.

You hesitated before pushing your way through the locker room door, pushing out all of the doubt in your mind when a Rosaliá song hit your ears and the sound of tone deaf singing rang out.

It was a beautiful sight, watching your ex teammates celebrate a well deserved win, dancing, drinking, singing, it was the magic of the El Clasicó.

It hurt your head, but it still managed to put a little smile on your face, you shrunk into the doorway, observing the utter excitement and happiness on all of the girls' faces.

Ingrid was the first to realise you’d joined them all, and before you could even really smile at her she was walking towards you with open arms and wrapping you up in her embrace.

It was nice, homey, she smelt like sweat, grass clippings and oranges.

“Hola bebita, how are you feeling?”

Ingrid was probably the best person for you to have initially run into, she was soft and kind and possibly one of the most empathetic and caring people you’d ever met.

“I’m okay, I miss you guys more than anything.”

Ingrid pulled you out of her arms, only to lean down and press a little chaste kiss to your forehead before wrapping an arm around your shoulders.

“You know we will always be your home, and you’ll be back soon enough, this Real thing isn’t for forever, you’ll be back with all of us soon enough.”

Soon enough couldn’t come quicker for you, you quite literally were counting down the days before you were finally back in blaugrana.

“Yes, well I suppose that is the positive.”

Ingrid nodded at you, a big smile on her face as the both of you watched the group of girls.

“Ale had to go and deal with some press conference things, Lucy should be just finishing up in the showers if you're ready to go. I know the two of them were eager to head home as soon as you showed up.”

You smiled a little bit and nodded, as fun as the celebrations that you knew would come tonight sounded, you definitely weren’t feeling up to it at the minute.

“That’s fine, I’ll just wait around until they’re done.”

Ingrid nodded, giving you another smile.

“You’re welcome to sit wherever you’d like, would you like an ice pack for your face?”

You snorted, looking back at Maya, who already had one in her hands.

“I think we’re all good on the ice situation here, Maya is hell bent on talking to one of my carers, so she’ll be waiting around with me for now.”

Ingrid looked behind you to wave and flash another smile at your doctor.

“Good, someone needs to look after you, because we all know that you won’t be doing it. Here’s Lucia now, you won’t have to wait long.”

Your eyes locked onto your girlfriend, who had emerged from the showers, her hair damp on her shoulders. She was dressed in pj pants of all things and one of Alexia’s vintage Barca hoodies.

Her knee was strapped up and already had an icepack secured to it, something that was routine for Lucy after any game.

“Lucia, your girl is here for you.”

It was the loud and painful voice of Patri that made you roll your eyes, but sure enough it managed to get ahold of Lucy’s attention, her head rising from her phone and searching for you until she located you in the doorway of the rooms.

Immediately her face lit up, and she was running towards you as quickly as she could with one of her legs so restricted.

“Nina Bonita!”

Before you could say anything her arms were wrapping around you, bringing you to her chest as she cradled you gently into her.

“You were magnifico, mi amor, how’s the head?”

You roll your eyes painfully once again at the concern.

“It’s okay, nothing that some chill time with my favourite girls won’t fix.”

Lucy smirks at you, a big wide grin like the cheshire cat.

“Well, I think me and Ale are more than happy to amor, but let’s not forget you’ve been misbehaving the last few weeks.”

This was good, this was normal, this wasn’t life being overshadowed by pity.

“Y/n, I need to talk to a caregiver.”

You were brought out of your happy bubble by the sound of your medic.

You swivelled on you heel, pinching your face when the rotation hit you and you began to be a little bit dizzy.

“Lucy, Maya, Maya, Lucy, this is our team doctor, she wants to chat to you about my head injury, which is not major at all, I feel fine.”

Lucy’s face expression changed into something less recognisable, a mixture of concern and something else.

“Well if it concerns your health then it’s best we have a chat. How about we talk outside then, stay with Ingrid, we’ll be just a minute and once we’re done we can head home little one.”

Lucy patted you on the back, giving you absolutely zero opportunity to argue before she was exiting the change rooms, taking Maya with her.

It made you frown, but before you could follow them out one of Ingrid’s arms was wrapped around you, followed by Mapi’s, essentially sandwiching you between the couple.

“Hola, how’s your head, nena, I was worried for a good second, I’m surprised they didn’t veto you on the head injury rule to get you off the pitch.”

Mapi’s voice was a whisper, hard to pick up in the room of cacophonous sound, but you heard it.

“It’s sore, but I’ll be okay.”

Mapi whispered directly into your ear, to avoid Ingrid.

“You’re always okay, nena, that’s the problem, it’s eating you up, before you know everything inside you will be gone.”

You tried your best to keep a straight face, it was hard though when what Mapi was saying to you was making you tremble.

“You don’t know what you’re talking about María.”

She was relentless as always, she was like an annoying younger sister to you, always prodding, even if she was technically older than you.

“I’ve been where you are, before Ingrid, when I was spiralling, you know it, you saw it all, and now I’m seeing it in you. Telling you from personal experience, hiding from your loved ones only gets you so far, and worrying them only makes it that much worse. Pretending and lying, it only makes everything worse.”

It hurts, because it’s true, but you keep a straight face, determined not to give into Mapi’s games.

“María, now you’ve actually got no idea what you are talking about.”

Mapi pulls you from Ingrid, who seems a little bit confused but lets it go.

Mapi pushes you up against the wall gently, right beside the door, her hands pushing on your shoulders to keep you where she's put you.

“You might be right, I don’t know exactly what’s happening in your life. But I’ve seen the look in your eyes, whatever is going through your head, whatever thoughts your having out there in Madrid, if they aren’t getting back to Ale, then you know you’ll be in trouble, so get your head out of your ass and start to talk about your feelings instead of shoving them down your throat until you are choking on them. That cowboy shit you pulled today to put that ball in the net was stupid, you were asking for a hospital trip, you are lucky you didn’t get stretchered off the pitch, so count your lucky stars because if there is a next time I can guarantee you it will be a far worse outcome.”

Mapi released you from the wall, just in time for the door next to you to open up and Lucy to return inside the rooms.

“Have you got all your things?”

Lucy’s face was pointed and pinched, and slightly scary. You nodded at her quickly.

“Wait outside for me, I need to grab my bag.”

It was the kind of voice that Alexia used on you, the mommyish anger that she used when you’d done something to piss her off.

So, knowing what the most likely consequence of disobeying Lucy would be, you just nodded your head, stepping out of the rooms and finding solace in the silence that hit your ears.

It made your head hurt far less, the silence highly appreciated inside your brain.

Lucy took maybe 30 seconds, before she emerged from the rooms, the same solemn look on her face.

“Let’s go y/n.”

Lucy didn’t refer to you by your name, it was always a variation of some pet name, it burnt you in a way.

Lucy didn’t wait for you, she marched forward, straight towards the staff car park.

You struggled to keep up, your sore bones lacking the strength to keep up with her, but you managed well enough.

When you made it to Lucy’s car she was already seated in the driver's seat, leaving you to sling your bag in the backseat before sliding into the passenger's seat.

Lucy stayed silent until the two of you had pulled out onto the main road, until you made it to a red light, and then she was turning to you.

“You didn’t get examined, or scans, we should be going to a hospital, can you imagine what Alexia would say if she knew?”

You’d known this was inevitably coming, you’d just expected it to come from Alexia, not Lucy.

“Please, don’t tell Ale, she’s mad enough as it is, I feel fine, if I wasn’t one hundred percent sure that it was just a minor concussion I would get the mri or whatever, but they take hours, and then hours to get the result, all I wanted was too come home to you and Ale as soon as possible, I miss you guys.”

Lucy took a deep breath, this situation was no different to all the other times you’d had to convince her to join in on your plans to disobey Alexia.

“You put yourself in danger, Ale would be furious.”

It’s a deliberation, like Lucy is trying to weigh up the pros and cons in her mind.

“Exactly, she would be furious, which will do nothing, I’ve already made the decision, if anything feels wrong I’ll let you know, but I feel fine Luce, all I want to do is get what I’m owed from my girlfriends and enjoy you guys’ company whilst I can.”

You know Lucy’s folded when she sighs, her eyes coming off of the road once again, the orbs softening towards you.

“Alexia’s furious, those little videos and photos have got you deep in the shit, the only thing that’s saving you from that is admitting you're injured. You might be good enough to pretend with me but I know that head of yours can’t handle what she’s ready to give you.”

You knew that Lucy was right, it was one or the other with Alexia.

“I’m not weak, I knew what I was doing, I can deal with the consequences.”

Your words are said with gritted teeth and furrowed brows.

“You're a determined little brat aren’t you, if I didn’t know you well I’d think you were fine, but you aren’t, if you were fine you wouldn’t be acting out at every opportunity you could.”

The underlying message is that Lucy isn’t just talking about your injury, which makes you annoyed, because you’d been trying so hard to mask it with defiance and cheekiness, but Lucy’s seen through it, which most likely means that Ale has as well.

“Can’t you just punish me without all the feelings and shit.”

You’re asking for a reprieve, for a break from all of the concern, all you want is to fall into the arms of your girlfriends without any feelings.

“I would love to, but that’s Ale’s job, I just get to sit back and enjoy the show.”

You bite your lip, turning to look out the window as you slowly crawl closer to your girlfriend's shared house, previously it was yours as well, but not anymore.

“Where is Ale anyways, didn’t you drive together?”

It’s a deflection, one you are fairly proud of.

“She had some media commitments, she should be home by the time we get there, we drove in by ourselves for convenience.”

It’s said just as you pull into the driveway to see Alexia’s car already parked in front of the house.

Lucy stops the car, but she doesn’t pull the keys out immediately, just turning off the ignition.

“Take a breath.”

You nod at Lucy, eyes wide as you take a forced breath.

“Alexia and I love you, when you are away we miss you more than anything, it’s not the same without you around. If you are feeling like shit because you are injured we want to know, and we won’t be mad at you, I know for a fact that Alexia will be far angrier if you lie to her about it.”

You nodded briefly, trying to absorb Lucy’s words before you opened the car door and grabbed your bag from the backseat.

When you made it to the front door you hesitated before opening it up, leaving Lucy to lock it behind you.

You toed your shoes off, stacking them on the rack that Alexia had put at the front door to prevent the mess of shoes that normally accumulated around the apartment.

You walked slowly down the hallway, into the kitchen, where you found Alexia hunched over the island, looking intently at her phone.

“Hola.”

Your voice is soft, you don’t want to break the sound barrier but you feel like you have to.

Alexia looks up and her facial expression scares you a little bit, it’s stern, but you aren’t quite sure what she’s mad about.

“Come here.”

You bite down on your lip, walking towards Alexia tentatively until you are directly in front of her.

Her hands go straight to your face, pointing your jaw downwards so she can take a proper look at the damage across your face.

“You were looking to break your neck on that corner, estúpida.”

Alexia continues her close up examination, studying the bruising and swelling.

“How bad is it, don’t you dare lie to me.”

Alexia’s face is so stern, it almost scares you into admitting just how horrible you feel, but you can’t, you just can’t.

“It’s sore, but I feel fine, it’ll bruise up a treat but it’s not that bad.”

You pray to whatever god that is listening that Alexia believes you.

“You feel good enough to take your punishment then?”

There’s something in Alexia’s eyes that you aren’t used to, it makes you a little bit tentative.

“Yes ma’am.”

Alexia’s eyebrow raises, it’s like a dance between the two of you, the both of you waiting to call each other's bluff.

“You’ve been misbehaving, sí, I think you’re well overdue, bend over the table for me.”

You force yourself to take a deep breath, it’s unlike Alexia to be so harsh, to be so forward, especially considering that you’ve been gone for so long.

You look back at Lucy, a little bit of hope in your eyes that she’ll save you with some weak excuse.

“Ale, I don’t know if that’s a good id-.”

Alexia sent a glare Lucy’s way, her hand pressing itself against your lower back to push you over the table.

“She says she’s fine, if she wasn’t fine then she’d tell me, right bebita, because we trust each other. We don’t lie to each other.”

Suddenly you feel a wave of guilt deep in your stomach, Alexia knows you’ve lied to her, that’s why she’s mad.

“Lucia, go and get my belt for me, the thick brown one.”

You blink a few times, unsure if you’ve heard Alexia right, you’ve played around with a belt once or twice, but it’s not something that Alexia regularly punishes you with, more something for a little bit of funishment, a few lashes here and there but nothing truly painful.

“Alexia-.”

Alexia must give Lucy another look because she stops mid sentence once again.

“Lucia, don’t make me ask again, or else you’ll be joining her.”

Then there's the sound of footsteps going down the hallway, into the main bedroom, rustling around for ten seconds and then returning.

You flinch when you hear the sound of Alexia tossing a belt in her hands, the sound of the buckle clinking against the leather.

She reaches for the hem of your sweatpants, you flinch away from her touch, she doesn’t question it, making quick work of tugging down your pants, leaving you butt naked.

You shiver from the sudden feeling of cold air brushing down against your skin.

You hear Alexia fold the belt in two, your senses heightened weirdly from the headache across your temple.

Then you hear her raise the leather, and suddenly you realise you can’t breathe.

Just as you hear the sound of leather slicing through the air you realise that you can’t do it, you can’t do this.

“Red-fuck-red.”

The words are choken between gasps for air and sobs, your body going limp against the counter.

It’s then that you realise the pain, the feeling, it never comes, the feeling of the belt connecting with your ass never comes, which makes you even more confused.

“Lucia, bath, now.”

There is urgency in Alexia’s voice, a discomposure that wasn’t there previously.

Alexia’s hand falls to the lowest point of your back, her other one tugging your sweatpants up.

“Deep breaths for me nina bonita, big deep breaths.”

Alexia gently flips you over, her face so much kinder and softer than it was a few minutes ago.

“You-You didn’t hit me, you didn’t punish me.”

Alexia rolls her eyes softly, it’s just like you to be completely stressed out about something that doesn’t really matter that much really.

“I didn’t need to. You safeworded, which I’m very proud of you for doing, because you weren’t feeling up to it, I just needed to remind you that it’s okay to admit that, you don’t have to be brave all the time, especially when you are injured, now, it’s time to get you into the bath and bed, no screens or lights for you, you’re on concussion protocol for the next few weeks, which means that if I can have it my way you’ll be staying with us for a little bit longer, how does that sound?”

You force yourself to take some deep breaths to calm yourself, you're still crying but the gut wrenching sobs have come to a more steady halt.

“Don’t want to be a bother, you guys need a break from me.”

Alexia looks at you with hurt in her eyes.

“A bother? Bonita, you are the glue for this whole situation. We need you here, more than anything, we’ve been broken without you here, if I had it my way you would have been on a train home weeks ago, but Jonatan is being an asshole, that cábron will thankfully be gone next year, so at least you’ll be coming home without having to bother with that, hm?”

You don’t really understand what Alexia is saying, suddenly your head is hurting too much for anything to really make sense.

Alexia seems to understand it, because she leans down to pick you up, you attach yourself to her, koala wrapping yourself around her body, leaning into the warmth that she provides.

“I’ve got you bonita, not letting go for a long time, you need Lucia and I to remind you just how much we love you, and we’ll spend the next few weeks doing just that okay, no more hiding behind facetime calls and text messages anymore, we’re here for all of it.”

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repulsiveliquidation · 4 months

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earmuffs

Aitana Bonmatí x Reader [BLURB! angst.]

hey y'all! first work of the year! thank you all for being patient with me, i haven't been active one bit but hope you enjoy this one!

also send in more long aitana fic ideas! i have some blurb ones and one fic i have in my WIPs but i'd love to write more!

It’s New Year’s Eve in Barcelona and the whole team is together at Ona and Lucy’s house for the countdown. You’ve begrudgingly attended, your secret new girlfriend was insistent that you come before dragging you out of your house the day of. You’ve always hated fireworks, an accident when you were a kid in England that hurt your little brother still traumatized you despite it being years ago. The loud noises and the screaming didn’t help; you much preferred to be at home with all the windows locked tight and not a single curtain opened to hide under the blankets until the colorful lights were over.

"come on everyone, the countdown is in 10 minutes!”

Aitana stands, reaching out for your hand to help you up. She smiles softly before her face changes into one of confusion.

“Aren’t you coming?” she asks, reaching down to take your hand. You cringe and smile awkwardly, shaking your head.

“No, you go ahead Tana. I want to sit in here.”

“Bebita, it’s the uh fireworks! It’s pretty no? You can’t miss it, bebé.”

She tries to pull you up and you follow her, she walks ahead with a big smile as she joins the rest of your teammates on the deck.

You’re already trembling, reaching for the wicker chair on the deck to sit on. Kiera is beside you, she also happens to be the only one who knows about you and Aitana. She sees that scared look on your face, immediately rubbing your back as you sit.

“You okay, kid?”

“Uh, yeah. Just tired, that’s all.”

“You look like you’ve seen a ghost, kiddo.”

Suddenly, Lucy is yelling while looking at her watch.

“3, 2, 1, HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!”

The team erupts in cheers and they start to light all their fireworks. Lucy managed to find big and loud ones this year, along with many long ones that you could hold and have them shoot out. You yelp in surprise when the first one goes off, a big box of 30 rounds blowing up in the middle of the garden. Aitana, who was watching you the entire time, hoping for a New Year’s kiss, saw the fear in your eyes before anyone else did. Her hands immediately pressed against your ears and they pulled you into her stomach as she stood between your legs and kissed your head. She leaned down and whispered in Catalan, you didn’t understand a thing but her soothing voice calmed you immediately. Tears streamed down your face but you held onto her, she didn’t move an inch until the fireworks stopped and the girls had retreated inside.

“Amor?” she said as she knelt, hands moving away from your ears to hold your wet face.

“Sorry, it’s stupid,” you begin, pushing her hands away and wiping the tearstains off your face. She huffs, grabbing your face again. She looks deep into your eyes with tears. You begin to panic, cooing at her to not cry. She sits beside you and takes your hands in hers.

“It’s not stupid, amor. You were panicking.”

“I’m a grown fucking adult, I shouldn’t feel this way,” you say with gritted teeth, wiping away frustrated tears as you stand and try to walk away from her. She’s small but defiant, grabbing your arm to make you face her. she’s got an angry look on her face that immediately disappears when she meets your eyes.

“Talk to me, amor. What’s going on, sí? I’ve never seen you like this before,” she says, pulling your body close to her. you’re just a foot taller, she tucks her face into your neck and leaves soft kisses.

The team watches from the inside with deep concern for their teammates, when suddenly everyone's phones are blowing up. Lucy opens her phone from where she’s sitting on the counter with Ona between her legs and gasps in shock. Patri had posted a New Year Instagram story and there was a brief two-second pan towards you and Aitana where she pecked your lips to calm you as her palms pressed against your ears.

“Patri, you idiot!” Alexia yells, chewing her out. There was no point in deleting it, the whole world knew that you were together.

Back outside, you and Aitana had moved to the stairs leading up to the porch to sit and talk. She held your hand in her lap, softly rubbing the back and occasionally kissing it. you leaned into her, head resting on her shoulder as you told her about your fear of fireworks.

“My cousins were being rough and not careful. Their parents told them they couldn’t play with it on New Year till my father got home but they didn’t listen. They lit one and pointed it right at me when my little brother jumped in front of one and got second-degree burns because his sweater caught on fire.”

Aitana listens carefully, eyes widened in shock when she learns the reason behind your fear. She leans in and kisses you softly, taking your hand in hers tighter.

“I wish you told me, cariño. I would have stayed home with you.”

“But you love the fireworks, I thought I could handle it; not. I’m sorry you couldn’t watch them.”

“No bebita, you were more important. Thank you for trusting me.”

"Te amo Tana, gracias por estar ahí para mí".

"Yo también te amo, mi niña.”

You two walk back inside where Alexia still hasn’t finished chewing Patri out she’s almost red in the face.

“What’s going on?” Aitana asks, gently guiding you into the kitchen where everyone is.

“Have you checked your phones, both of you?” Ona asks Alexia, taking a break and being handed a glass of water by Lucy.

“No,” you both say, pulling out your phones to see what’s all the fuss about.

“Oh fuck,” you whisper, hand going over your mouth in shock. The two-second clip of you and Aitana kissing while you were having a meltdown is going viral, already trending on X.

“Patri!” Aitana starts, already marching towards the much taller Spaniard. You stop her, grabbing her forearm. She turns around with rage in her eyes, fiercely wanting to protect your privacy more than hers. She softens when she sees the affection in your eyes, letting herself be pulled back to you.

“I don’t want to hide anymore, mi amor.”

“But bebita,” she begins, you cup her cheek and lean in to kiss her before she can finish her sentence. The whole room erupts with cheers and laughter, María capturing another picture of you two. She airdrops it to you as soon as you pull away from Aitana, Alexia already giving Patri a big hug and apologizing for yelling at her.

Back home that night, you post the picture María took and make it official. The world goes crazy, but you and Aitana knew that only the two of you mattered.

#woso x reader #woso soccer #woso imagine #woso fanfics #fc barca femeni #aitana bonmatí #aitana bonmati x reader #aitana bonmati blurb #aitana bonmati imagine

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fiendishfables · 3 months

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Future (short) series idea

pairing: Lucifer Morningstar x Fem! Angel! Reader (I’m probably going to make different versions for each, so a Male and GN, as well)

Feedback on the idea is very much appreciated; I would love to hear y'all lovely peoples thoughts on this concept I am stuck on. Its nothing special but still, haha-

Also don’t forget, my requests are always open! Please, request, request, request! I need things to write! :D

Synopsis/General idea: Reader is one of Adam's assistants/part of the exorcist angels and Lucifer comes to visit Heaven with his daughter, Charlie Morningstar, Princess of Hell and owner of the Hazbin Hotel.

Lucifer is instantly entranced by the reader, as he recognizes them from back when he used to reside in Heaven; when he too used to be an angel all that time ago. The reader and Lucifer, when they both had been in Heaven, had snuck around and hooked up a couple times, but it had never gone public and was never intended to.

He is staring at you throughout the whole meeting with Adam and Lute, (when he's not busy glaring and making smug faces at the 'first man' from across the table), oblivious to what his daughter is preaching or trying to. The reader is well on Charlie's side and on-board with her ideas; she tried many times to convince Adam before and now, or to atleast think about it.

The reader ends up coming to hell with Lucifer and Charlie because she wants to ‘check out’ the hotel and this cooperation Charlie is trying to make with Heaven. Lucifer looks about ready to burst from excitement.

(End of part 1?)

Maybe there is a day before she comes down to hell, and not right after the meeting. Lucifer could be standing in his room in front of his mirror, trying to pep-talk himself into making a good impression on you. Charlie is possibly there to reassure her dad that he looks fine and that he won’t mess things up(again); she’s secretly so thrilled that the reader is able to make her dad feel so giddy and happy, especially after Lilith. He needs someone to keep him company and you seem like just the soul to do it. But of course there is the problem with the reader being in Heaven and Luci being in Hell; good ol’ forbidden love

Charlie ends up showing the reader around the hotel when she comes down from Heaven, and Lucifer sort of just stands by awkwardly. The reader is a bit cold towards him, but they are mainly just scared that he might disappear from their life again, and maybe even a tad resentful at him for being so stupid and doing whatever it was that made him fallen in the first place.

But then of course they end up having sex in the hotel after Charlie offered the reader a stay for the night so they didn’t need to go back to Heaven so late in the night. Make-up, angsty, lovey dovey, etc. Reader may also slip up and call him Luci a couple times instead of Lucifer; she only called him Luci back when they were both in Heaven together and good friends

Honestly- I have no fucking idea where this is going, but if anyone would be interested in reading this small series I’m coming up with, please interact/let me know! I plan to start working on it after I get some requests done. Just had to get this spew of word vomit out of my head-

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redbleedingrose · 3 months

Note

that baby girl Lucy thing could be a drabble or headcanon or whatever ur comfortable with btw 😁 or you don’t have to do anything at all with it if u don’t want! just wanted to mention it bc GIRL DAD ERIS

GIRL DAD!ERIS AND LUCIEN RECONCILLING PART 2

A/N: OKAY YES I AM SO SORRY I GOT BUSY WITH MED SCHOOL, HAD A SHELF EXAM TO TAKE AND THEN I GOT LAZY BUT IT IS HERE!

Edit: So I started writing and realized this is getting a bit long, like I am not done with this part and I am already 2.2k word in, so this will likely be a 3 or 4 part mini-series giving y'all girl dad!Eris lore! I hope you enjoy and I am sorry I had to split it up, but it seems like I had more to this story I wanted to share!

part 1

Your first letter remains unopened, buried beneath legal documents and trade deals in a locked drawer of Lucien's desk. Each week, another one of your letters is added to the ever growing pile that Lucien can't bring himself to open.

Part of him wants to rip all your attempts of communication to shreds, throw it into the fire place and forget that you and Eris exist.

The other part of him, the one that he tries to bury deep within himself, is curious, anxious really, to know what it is you have to say to him. What is it that you continue to reach out to him?

Is it a part your duty as high lady of autumn? Are you looking to start relations between Autumn and Day? Are you trying to keep your relationship to your brother in law as professional as possible? What if you are trying to get to know him? Would that be the worst thing in the world, to get to know his sister in law? He has always wanted a sister.

What if you are writing out of need? For help? What if you need asylum from his brother? Gods, he hopes not. What if Eris turned out to be the exactly like his father, cruel and abusive in his marriage to you? What if he, like Beron, was ruining Autumn court with outrageous regulations and taxes too high that most of the autumn population were left in poverty?

What if you were writing to him to brag about how well Eris has done without him, that this is the only way he will receive any updates on Eris, and to not expect anything more?

What if you are lovely and kind? What are you like? Are you good to Eris? Is he good to you? Do you make his oldest brother happy? Does he make you happy? What is Eris like now? Has he changed or is he the same paranoid male who plots conspiracies?

The lack of response from your brother in law does little to defer your efforts. You continue to write to Lucien, without skipping a beat, sending a letter to him every week, giving him updates on his brother, updates on your pregnancy, even updates on the pups Eris is raising to protect your babes in the coming months. You share with him your feelings about Eris, the story of how you met, how your mating bond had snapped abruptly and without notice, how he fought against your relationship for years until he couldn't hold back anymore, how when he finally gave in, he had made you the promise of a safer home, a safer land, a place in which his father could never lay a hand on you.

You confide in him your concerns over his brother, your fears that his duties as high lord will consume him, that Eris has anxieties about being a good father, and you are scared it will paralyze him. You tell him about the things you notice about Eris, things you think Eris doesn't know about himself. That, sometimes, Er will get a distant look in his eyes when he sees young children playing together, especially when one looks older than the other. That, sometimes, Er mumbles in his sleep, how often his name comes up while he is asleep, how Er wakes up from those same dreams gasping and clutching at his chest, how it takes hours for you to calm him after. How when Eris struggles to sleep, he stares at the family portrait, with his eyes fixated on Lucien before he comes back to bed with you at your urging.

You write to him as if he is your best friend, as if he is sitting across from you and you are just talking to him. You write to him as if you have known him for centuries.

With all of Eris' stories about his beloved brother, you feel as though you have known him for centuries.

It takes a long time for Lucien to muster the courage to open your letters. After weeks of receiving letters and storing them away without a second glance, after weeks of forcing any thoughts of the letters away, after weeks of catching himself thinking about Eris, thinking about you and Autumn court, does he finally force himself sit down to read the letters. To be done and over with it. To read the letters, and never think of you or his brother again. To give closure to that horrific chapter of his life. To have this as his final goodbye.

It takes him several minutes to unlock the drawer after he slumps into his chair by the desk. It takes him a couple of minutes to open the drawer before staring at all the papers on top of the letters. It takes him 20 minutes to pluck the letters out from beneath and toss them onto his desk. Another 30 minutes is spent of him grabbing the letters and setting it onto the side table near his hearth, pacing around his office, biting at his nails, wringing his hands, running his fingers through his long auburn hair to sit in his cozy leather chair with the letters at an arms-length. An hour is spent staring blankly into the near extinguished fire, the pops and crackles from the desperate surviving flames being the only times he blinks. Another 10 minutes of delay, spent with breathing exercises while pouring himself a two, maybe three, fingers of night court imported whiskey and taking several bated sips of the hard liquor.

After almost two hours of delay, does Lucien use the letter opener the night court general gifted him during a visiting trip, to slowly and carefully, with shaking hands, tear the seal open. Deep breathing does little to stop his pittering heart as he opens the first letter, glazed eyes racing over each sentence, each word multiple times, nearly seizing as you break the news of your pregnancy. Tears he didn’t even know were leaking down his cheeks, meeting at his chin to drip down his neck began to stream. Choked sobs with a hand clutched at his chest, your letter delicately being placed to the side as his emotions crash into him.

Weeks of pent up feelings become unrelenting waves that makes it near impossible for him to catch his breath. All of grief for the time he has missed with you and his brother, all of happiness at your pride and clear love and devotion for your mate, his brother, all of sorrow and concern for what Eris turned out to be after years of torment and unrelenting abuse, all of quiet hope for the future relationship he may have with you, with his future nieces or nephews, with his older brother, all of that is almost unbearably overwhelming. The only source of respite, coming from your gentle handwriting.

“Lucien, I implore you to take all the time you need. I will patiently be waiting for a response, whether it takes weeks or months, years or even centuries. I want a relationship with you. As does your brother. And I want our children to have a relationship with their uncle. So I will wait. And if you decide that having a relationship with us is just too impossibly painful for you, then with the deepest regret and with the most profound love, will we accept that fate as well.”

It is your own hope that pushes Lucien to read all of your other letters, whiskey set aside and forgotten. Letters that have his bereaved sobs turning into silent tears of joy. Letters that have him bubbling with laughter as you express your loving annoyance at Eris’ puttering about the nursery and his great insistence that your future babes will need 15 chicks, and at least 6 baby cows to grow up with.

Letters that have him smiling softly, reminiscing in the good memories of his childhood Eris whispered to you in the dark recesses of night. Letters that have him pondering if what you say is really the truth, because you give a convincing argument that his older brother may actually miss him, may have actually loved him… still loves him. Letters that give him insight into all the years he missed, that he now almost feels a part of, like he was actually there to witness all of the events surrounding your relationship and Eris’ ascension to the autumn throne. Lucien spends hours, even as the fire in the office gives way to death and the only remaining source of light becomes Lucien’s own magic pulsating through the room, reading your letters. Over and over, in the order it was sent in and in backwards order. And by the end of it, he is speechless.

No words come to mind that can describe how he feels. He cannot come up with what to say. The only thing he knows is that he is appreciative for the time and patience that you have given him, the grace that you have shown, the honesty of the hardships that you and Eris went through, of the relationship you have formed with his brother, and of all the changes Er has gone through and has brought to Autumn Court since his escape. So, Lucien folds your letters following the exact lines you used, making sure not even a slight crease is created, before carefully placing back into the envelopes you sent them in, holding them to his chest as he walks to his room and retires for the night. Sleep, however, the trickster it is, plays the most exhausting game and evades him most of the night. His usual tossing and turning is replaced with his ember eyes focused on the letters, hands clasped tightly together resting on his chest because his fingers kept twitching with want to reach back for your messages to reread them. Lucien’s thoughts are wildly free of the endless possibilities of what might come in the future… a happy future.

Days were spent rereading your letters. Days were spent stressing out over what to do, he never had a choice when it came to his family. All things were inevitably decided for him. He was brought up to be competitive with his brothers, it was decided that he would have to fight his brothers for the autumn throne, a throne he had no desire of having. It was decided what kind of training he got, despite his lack of interest in violence. He didn’t choose to leave Autumn, he barely escaped with his life. He didn’t choose this. Having a choice… it was a delicacy he hadn’t been offered before.

Lucien knew though. Deep down inside, he knew what he wanted to choose. Going back and forth with his options inevitably landed on one outcome. He wants to try. He wants to get to know you, a sister he always wanted and now, finally has. He wants to get to know his future nieces or nephews. He wants to be a part of their lives; he wants to be the best uncle he can be. And he so achingly wants to know his older brother, wants to know his side of the story, wants to know if he was wrong to blame him for everything. It is alarming. The prospect of it all. It’s… fully… wholly… thoroughly and completely terrifying.

What if he was wrong about it all? What if he spent decades… centuries hating his own brother… someone who should’ve been blameless? Would Eris forgive him for it? What if he comes to the conclusion Eris didn’t try hard enough? Could he forgive Eris, a crimeless, unwilling accomplice in the murder of Jes? What if Eris is uninterested after a near lifetime of rejection? How will they build their relationship, beyond what it ever was? What if, even after all of that, he ends up alone? Was it worth it?

Was the hurt, the fear, the hope… was it worth it?

It took another month of Lucien’s contemplation to come up with a response, not for lack of trying. He had so many thoughts, so many feelings and emotions regarding his brother, his past, his future, you as his new sister in law, the fact that he is going to be an uncle, to work through, that he is still working through. He is afraid, afraid of what he has missed with Eris, afraid of what or who Eris has become. But one thing about the Vanserra brothers is that they have a burning courage within them. So despite the fear, he wants more. He wants to try. Every time he sits down to muster an acknowledgement to your letters, though, he chokes up.

A ball of anxiety runs rampant through his stomach, a knot in his throat that he can’t seem to swallow, that he can't seem to clear even with a rough rub at his neck. His hands quake as he readjusts the pen in his hands, over and over, feeling pins and needles at the tips of his fingers as he tries to figure out the words to respond with. Your letters had so much thought, so much effort and sentiment and zest poured into them. And all of the thoughts and feelings he had during the time he took, it seemed… inadequate. A simple letter… it wouldn’t be enough. Not with all the things Lucien wants to say to you and eventually… to Eris as well. Finally, after staring at the blank sheet placed in front of him, sweaty hands rubbing furiously up and down his thighs, does he figure it out.

So… with a shaky inhale, he brings his pen to the page.

Hello dear sister,

I apologize for my delay in responding. If I am being honest, I spent a lot of time, quite a lot indeed, thinking of your letters. Thinking of you. Thinking of my brother Eris the Autumn High Lord. Thinking of the past. Thinking of the future. One letter to tell you all of my thoughts in response to your attempts of communication feel woefully insufficient.

If you are ever so inclined, would you be open to meeting with me? I understand that your pregnancy condition may make it difficult upon you to travel to Day. I’m happy to I am set to be in Spring Court for two weeks from now for a week. Would you be willing able to meet at the border in three weeks time?

with warm wishes,

regards,

Lucien Vanserra

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jaegeraether · 5 months

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Sunsets and footballers (Part 24)

Lucy Bronze x Reader (23)

Masterlist (other parts here)

(**It's my birthday so I figured I'd give y'all another chapter tonight :) **)

YFN woke and the first thing she felt was the soreness between her legs. Lucy had given her exactly what she needed into the early hours of the morning. She felt her sleeping Lucy behind her, arms and legs tangled, her head almost fully laying on the side of her own. She could feel her sleepy breathing in her ear and her heart melted. Sleepy Lucy. Vulnerable Lucy. Oh, the duality of their relationship. The ability to be so in love, so gentle, so kind and caring and thoughtful; and then the fucking. The aggression, the obsession, the instinctual need. It was something she never thought was possible in a relationship, yet here she was, the happiest she’d ever been.

And then she remembered that Lucy was leaving that night and saddened a little. She took a deep breath, telling herself she was just being dramatic and emotional. She stretched out as far as she could without waking her warm girlfriend and grabbed her phone. She hated being on her phone first thing in the morning, but it was going to be a good distraction for her until Lucy woke up.

She’d been in contact with the nine employees already, though none of them had met face to face yet. She sent the email she’d drafted the day before, inviting them all to their first meeting. Joe had suggested she could buy an office space, but YFN had declined as she didn’t think they were ready for that yet. Most of them would be in different places around the country, and so Zoom was their best option for the meantime. However, as the company was new, she and Joe agreed to rent out conference rooms instead whenever and wherever they needed.

The meeting she arranged was for tomorrow, in Birmingham. Joe had already sent her the details for the conference room she’d booked, and she added that to her invitation. Excited, she sent it out and then replied to a message from Jordan that said she was headed out for brunch with a few of the Arsenal girls before they left.

She skimmed through a few notifications out of the hundreds from the night before, and then felt a change in Lucy’s breathing as she slowly woke. She put her phone away as her girlfriend yawned and stretched against her, nuzzling her ear.

“Good morning, little one.” She could hear the happy smile in her husky voice.

YFN turned in her arms and pressed her lips to the base of Lucy’s throat. “It is when it’s with you.”

God, she was so warm and soft and cuddly. She placed tender little kisses up Lucy’s throat until she reached the soft flesh under her jaw. Her skin was so soft there. So vulnerable. She placed a few lingering kisses there and Lucy shuddered, her head tilted back so she could have all the access she wanted.

Then realisation of what the day would bring must have hit her because she groaned, her throat vibrating under YFN’s lips.

“Shhhh.” YFN whispered against her skin, moving her lips down and back up again, her bottom lip dragging behind a little. Lucy relaxed again and squirmed a little, letting a soft moan follow. She did it again, down and back up either side of her throat, over her pulsing arteries. Her lips found their way to the little dip between her clavicles and she kissed that spot, this time dragging her tongue gently up to the top of her throat. Lucy swallowed, obviously aroused, and trying to contain herself. But YFN didn’t want her to contain herself, because it was their last morning together, and she wanted to thank her after the night before. YFN’s hand found Lucy’s abs, tracing there as she tilted her head back so they were almost face to face. She took her bottom lip in between her teeth and tugged gently as she traced over Lucy’s lats, down the dip in her waist, and to her hip. She brushed her lips over Lucy’s teasingly, almost kissing her but not quite, while she let her hand glide over her ass, enjoying the size of it. She reminded herself to never let Lucy skip squat day. She loved her ass, especially in track pants. She grabbed it and kneaded it a little as her tongue traced over Lucy’s bottom lip. Her hand moved down to her thigh and around, softly tracing ever so slowly up towards where Lucy was a little warmer.

She loved that Lucy wasn’t even trying to stop her, she was letting herself be comfortable and vulnerable, something that she’d been working on with YFN. ‘You deserve to be loved too’, she’d said to her one night. It must have stuck with her because the Lucy she saw now was so much braver, so much more willing to be vulnerable. She kissed her as her fingers felt through her folds growing wetter by the second, and her tongue entered her mouth when her finger did. She just wanted to feel that warmth of her inside, that soft flesh, excited and swollen for her. She groaned against Lucy’s mouth because she could feel herself wettening at the feel of Lucy.

Her finger came out and moved upwards devastatingly slowly, her mouth tilting on Lucy’s to get better access. She worked her finger up and down that little sensitive line running up towards her clit until she felt the frustrated whimper of her girlfriend into her mouth. Today, she’d give Lucy everything she wanted. Her fingers moved to her needy clit and Lucy gasped at the touch, YFN happily swallowing it as she began to rub circles in and around it. Lucy’s hips began grinding into her hand, desperate for more pressure.

“Patience, Luce.” She whispered into her mouth and rolled her onto her back, her lips and fingers not stopping their eager work. She put half of her body on Lucy in an attempt to stop her hips grinding but it only partially worked because fuck, Lucy was strong. Especially those glutes and thighs.

“I need..” Lucy moaned into her mouth. Her heart skipped a beat. Lucy was actually letting herself say what she wanted. What she needed. Letting herself put her trust in YFN.

“What do you need, Luce?”

“I think… I feel empty.”

YFN nodded against her mouth as they gasped into each other and YFN’s fingers moved back down without hesitantion, two sliding themselves home inside of Lucy.

“God, you feel so good.” She encouraged.

She knew she just needed the feel of something inside her and so her fingers stayed still inside, her palm meeting her clit and continuing her work. Lucy’s back arched under her, her hands gripped onto her so tight as she got close. Lucy’s whimpers moved to a higher and higher pitch, getting less optional and more desperate, the closer she got.

YFN moved her lips to her ear and murmured there. “Jordan’s not home.” Lucy shivered at that, eyes closed and letting her tension build up with an increase in her vocality. YFN’s mouth moved selfishly across her sharp jaw, down her neck and back onto the throat she loved so much, letting herself feel the vibrations that came with Lucy’s desperate noises. It only took another minute of intensified pace and pressure for Lucy to come, hard. She groaned and her body locked up, her insides clenching tight around YFN’s fingers, her nails digging into her back. YFN shivered in pleasure at the pain of her nails, her palm continuing its circling, though slowing and calming down. God, she loved the feel of Lucy’s body and the ability she had to control it. She felt her body relaxing slowly, riding that wave down enough for her to eventually stop her rubbing, and remove her fingers gently.

Lucy’s breathing slowed and her fingers relaxed, automatically caressing the spots she’s just had her nails in. YFN worked her lips back up over her jaw and she brought one arm under her, leaning her head on her hand above Lucy as she looked down at her. She wasn’t fully focussed, because she didn’t have her glasses on, but YFN could tell she was still excited, her eyes dark.

“How was tha-”

“Sit on my face.” She demanded.

YFN was taken by surprise, her eyes widening. “What?”

“You heard me. Now.” She took hold of her waist and encouraged her up as YFN scrambled to move upwards. She swung a knee over Lucy’s head, suddenly aware of just how excited their little play had just made her, and before she could even fully settle, Lucy had pulled her down onto her face. She gave a grateful groan into her clit as she ate her, no slow build, just straight into it like it was more for her own benefit. YFN cried out softly and her hips began their movement on Lucy’s face, getting more friction from her girlfriend. Lucy gave a grunt of approval as she held onto her. YFN leant onto the headboard, using it as an anchor to be able to better move her body against Lucy. God, that tongue. That mouth. It was desperate. One minute it was sucking on her clit, flicking it with her tongue, the next her tongue was circling around her hole, her tongue pushing in and out as far as she could get it. YFN couldn’t help the cries and whimpers coming from her mouth.

“God your tongue, Luce. Oh.. fuck.. you’re amazing. F..fucking amazing. Don’t stop. Y…yes right there…argh!”

YFN noticed then that only one of Lucy’s hands was on her hip and she swivelled her head to see the other she was using to rub herself. She moaned at the sight. Not on her watch.

YFN lifted herself off of Lucy’s face and swung her leg back over. Just as Lucy started to protest, she remounted her the other way, leaning forwards and dropping herself back onto her face. Lucy understood now. She pinched and flicked both nipples as YFN enjoyed this new angle, and then her hands slid to her waist as YFN leant down and took Lucy’s clit into her mouth. Lucy’s legs parted, her feet pushing onto the bed to try and buck her hips up into her mouth more. YFN’s hands gripped the back of Lucy’s thighs and she focussed on her girlfriend. She felt herself riding that wave but needed to get Lucy there just as quick. Her mouth and tongue continued their assault on her clit as her fingers entered her, slowly moving in and out. Lucy grunted her frustration and her hands moved up to the back of YFN, her thumbs pulling open her folds for better access with her mouth. Her mouth moved up to her hole, her thumb rubbing her clit until she decided she wasn’t happy with that and changed back. Her head tilted as it worked her clit, allowing her to slip a thumb into her for a few strokes. She groaned her frustration at her orgasm building again under the mouth and fingers of her little Australian and she moved her right arm up and around her thigh to thrust two fingers into her. YFN gasped, her body jerking forwards before she continued fucking Lucy. It was almost a competition as to who could get the other there faster, and Lucy loved winning. Plus she’d had the advantage of the face riding. Her fingers fucked in and out of her with obsession, the sound of the room was filled with wet fucking, gasping, whimpering, moaning into each other’s pussies. What a perfect morning.

YFN came first, letting out a cry but refusing to stop fucking Lucy towards her orgasm which came not too long afterwards. They worked each other down, ever the caring girlfriends, and then YFN rolled off of Lucy and onto her back. They laid there like that a little while, their faces glistening with excitement, their bodies spread out as if they were making snow angels, only connected by their little pinkies hooked around each other.

What a perfect morning, indeed.

They tried to make the most of the rest of the day. Everything was done slower, and more together than usual. Lucy was admittedly not the touchy type with people, only hugging people she was close to. However, it was the complete opposite with YFN. She was the exception. In fact, Lucy was trying to make an effort to stop being so clingy, despite her little Australian loving it so much. She wasn’t used to that yet.

They showered, dressed, and went for a morning walk to get Lucy her coffee. She didn’t realise, but Lucy had a specific task planned for the day and so after their walk, she pulled YFN around the apartment, asking her questions about things that would make her feel more at home. Listening and assessing, she drove them into town, the little Australian not knowing where she was going, but just coming along for the ride. They bought furniture she needed, and little things that she had said might make it homier. They bought the stuff home, and Lucy built the modern bedside tables while YFN put the other little bits around the place, like the shower caddy and the little skincare shelf for the bathroom, always letting herself admire Lucy’s building concentration as she moved past her. One of her favourite things was the diffuser and she’d picked out a vanilla, a musk, a black tea lychee, and a blood orange scent that reminded her of Lucy. She set it up on the first bedside table Lucy had made and walked back out to the living room, brushing her hand over Lucy’s shoulders as she passed.

“I think that’s it!” She smiled. “Now just the food shopping..”

Lucy shook her head from where she sat on the floor, legs apart and a half-made second bedside table between her legs. She pointed the screwdriver at a box she hadn’t noticed, because she hadn’t been there when Lucy had bought that. She’d been wandering the aisles, food shopping, wondering what Jordan would like to eat for dinner. And lunch. And in general, really. She didn’t know that side of Jordan yet, but she was excited to.

YFN opened the box that was clearly just there to hide what was inside. She smiled, her eyes lighting up as she lifted it out of the box. Lucy watched her little dimple getting excited at it as she stared, admiring it.

“It’s a peace lily.” She explained. “A bit of life for the apartment. I thought you’d like it..”

“I love it.” She whispered, turning it around and looking at all of it. She got excited even at the little things, Lucy had noticed. She was always grateful, and rarely expectant.

“It symbolises peace and tranquillity. She only needs water about once a week, and I bought a spray bottle so you can spray her leaves as well. She only needs a little sunlight so I thought she could sit on that shelf up there.” She pointed to the top of the bookshelf against the wall in the living room. “Needs to be kept high so Blu doesn’t get to it.”

Blu was Jordan’s dog, a little dachshund that was currently still at her parents’ house because Jordan had been so busy. She was yet to meet him, another little housemate.

Lucy continued. “And I know you will be all over the countryside with your work, but Jordan will look after it, if we leave a note on the fridge.”

YFN laughed at that. “Yes, Dory will need a reminder, that’s for sure. I’ll steal her phone and put a weekly reminder in, I think.”

Things started to move a little too quick then, their time slipping away from them. Lucy getting a flight reminder on her phone really dampened the mood. Lucy was finishing packing and YFN was trying to help but couldn’t seem to move beyond the pace of a sloth.

“Luce.. your toothbrush..” She said, holding out the little blue brush with a cap on it. It was just a toothbrush, but as she held it out to Lucy, she felt herself getting a little teary eyed. Lucy noticed and left her suitcase, walking over to comfort her girlfriend.

“I left it there on purpose..” She said, taking it out of her hand.

That certainly did it. Her little Australian couldn’t stop the tears as they started to fall, her lower lip trembling and her little dimple sad again. Lucy inhaled sharply, barely able to control her own emotions. She pulled her close and YFN settled in her favourite spot with her head on Lucy’s collarbone. “T…this is going to be healthy for us.” She admitted into her. “I… This… This is so intense. These feelings.. this wh..whole thing. Space will be good for us.”

Lucy nodded against her. They both didn’t want it, but they both knew she wasn’t wrong. “I don’t think either of us really knew what we were in for.” Lucy agreed huskily. They weren’t unsure about their relationship, they just knew that a little space may help them deal with it better emotionally. Perhaps they’d see each other again and be better at dealing with their feelings for each other. Perhaps it would be the complete opposite and they’d be desperate, obsessive wrecks, fucking and needing each other. Either way, a little space would help to draw out whichever one it was.

Their drive to the airport was mostly silent, their fingers tangled. YFN was unaware her hand was anxiously playing with Lucy’s, and Lucy was unaware she was stroking hers softly, calming down that anxiety. They checked Lucy’s bag in but she was unable to go further than that. It was an international flight after all. They found a little corner where they could have their privacy and that’s when Lucy finally succumbed to her emotions. YFN held Lucy’s head on her shoulder as she cried, needing some escape for her emotions. After a while, they knew Lucy needed to go through security or she’d be late for her flight. Lucy looked at her, eyes red and wiping the tears off her face. She kissed her then; passionately, desperately. YFN leant into it, accepting all of that love. Eventually they pulled away, foreheads pressed together for a while.

Lucy pulled something out of her carry on and gave it to her. YFN recognised it as the hoody she’d worn that first night she’d met Lucy. “Keep this.”

She took hold of it, hugging it against her for dear life. “Luce…”

“Take it. Wear it. I know you don’t like owing anyone, or things not feeling ‘even’, so I know you’ll bring it back to me.”

“That’s manipulative.” She laughed, wiping her tears.

“Come to Spain, little one.” Lucy begged.

“I will, Luce” She promised. “13 days.”

She nodded, “13 days. And then come to me.”

“I’ll be there.” She whispered, her fingertips stroking Lucy’s cheek.

“Promise me you’ll be careful. Promise me you’ll call me if you’re in trouble, or upset or… just.. I need you to be safe. Promise me.”

“I promise, Luce.”

Lucy’s lips trembled, but her next words were sure. “I love you.”

#lucy bronze #jordan nobbs #woso #lucy bronze x reader #womens football #woso community #woso fanfics #woso imagine #woso soccer #engwnt #woso x reader #lucy bronze imagine #lionesses

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amhrosina · 1 year

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MCU Men Raising an Infant With You (Pregnancy Headcanons//Pt.4)

MASTERLIST // TAG LIST REQUEST FORM

Requests are open!

A/N: This is part 4/5 of the pregnancy headcanons that were requested a while back! I have one more part planned covering the men raising a toddler/young kids, etc. Basically, it's going to be domestic bliss! Also, currently getting ready to watch game 6 of the world series, and as a life-long Astro's fan, I'm asking for prayers that we win tonight! Send one up for Altuve, y'all. That man is my baby daddy fr.

Link to Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

Frank Castle:

When you wake up in the middle of the night in pain and clutch Frank’s shoulder, he’s up and moving before you can blink.

He had packed a “go bag” a few weeks prior, just in case the baby came early.

You waddle to the door, clutching Frank’s shoulder as another contraction hits you.

As Frank drives you to the hospital, the concern on his face grows as your contractions get closer and closer together. He knows every woman’s birth is different, but yours seems a little too fast to be safe.

He doesn’t mention any of this to you because he doesn’t want to scare you.

As soon as your doctor sees you, she rushes you into the delivery room, Frank hot on her tail.

Frank holds your hand throughout the process, not even blinking when you squeeze his hand hard enough to break it.

He mumbles encouraging words in your ear as you breathe through the pain.

Your labor ended up being less than 90 minutes long, the fastest birth Frank had ever witnessed, and your baby girl was deemed healthy and so cute.

Frank tears up when he finally gets to hold her, rocking her gently and cooing.

Frank swears she looks just like you but you definitely see some Frank in her.

“What should we name her?” You ask, content to watch Frank in this moment forever.

“Anything you want, baby.”

“Lucia Maria Castle? We could call her Lucy.”

“That’s perfect. You’re both perfect.”

When you finally get to bring the baby home, Frank takes a solid 15 minutes to climb the two flights of stairs to your apartment with Lucia in her baby carrier.

Frank holds her like she’s the most precious thing in the world (she is).

Frank has to remind himself that this is your first baby, so he takes things slow and explains things to you patiently, but only if you ask! No mansplaining in this house!

When Lucia wakes up hungry in the middle of the night, Frank insists on being the one to go get her and bring her to you. He doesn’t want you to strain yourself too much while you heal.

He stays up with you, running his fingers through your hair while the baby’s being fed.

If you ever mention something about your post-baby body in a negative way, Frank shuts that down real quick.

“You created a life, and you looked beautiful doing it. You’re always beautiful, sweetheart. Don’t talk about yourself like that.”

Sometimes he’ll play the guitar while you hold her to help her fall asleep.

Even though you’re both sleep deprived and exhausted, he always makes sure to show you love and affection throughout the day and night, especially once the doctor gives you the okay to make more babies.

He’ll hug you from behind while you’re cooking or kiss your forehead as he walks by you in the hallway.

Frank is a literal sweetheart of a dad to Lucia, and you very nearly cry every time you see him interacting with her.

His big ass hands holding such a tiny little baby I can’t take it anymore someone give Frank a baby NEOWWWWW

One night, after rocking Lucia to sleep, you tell Frank you want another one once Lucia gets a little older. Frank is all too happy to take you up on that offer.

Matt Murdock:

Watch me make shit up about Matt’s hearing abilities

A few days before your due date, you’re reading to Matt when he visibly stiffens and sits straight up, looking at you with concern.

You have no idea what's going on, but Matt rushes to the bedroom to grab the bag of stuff you had packed for the arrival of the twins. You can hear him calling Foggy in the other room.

“Matt, is everything okay?”

“Labor. Twins. I can hear it. We gotta go.”

You didn’t fully understand how Matt’s abilities worked, but you trusted him enough to push yourself out of your chair and waddle towards the front door.

Foggy showed up so fast you were half convinced he had been sleeping in his car waiting for Matt’s phone call.

You didn’t grasp the situation until you were walking into the ER entrance at the hospital and a sharp pain ran through your stomach.

The labor delivery nurses said it was ‘such a weird coincidence’ that you happened to be walking into the ER while you went into labor. Matt smiles politely as they complement how well you knew your own body.

The birth is rough – you clench Matt’s hands, Matt prays under his breath, you push not one but two babies out of you.

The twins are born 8 minutes apart, happy and as healthy as can be.

Matt’s in utter shock for a few minutes, completely overwhelmed with emotions as he holds the twins for the first time.

You and Matt had decided on names for the twins weeks ago but saying them out loud for the first time turns Matt into a blubbering mess: Elias Nelson Murdock and Rosalie Blaire Murdock.

When you introduce Foggy to Elias and reveal his middle name, Foggy also turns into a blubbering mess.

When you bring the twins home, you can tell Matt is anxious, but trying his best to help you in any way he can.

Being that he has such keen hearing, he’s a master at rocking the babies to sleep. He’s also in tune to their breathing, so when they inevitably wake up in the middle of the night, he’s usually already halfway to the nursery.

One night, after putting the babies to sleep, Matt asks you to describe what they look like to him. He has his own picture, and he’s able to feel their faces to fill in the gaps, but he wants to know how you see them.

“They’re perfect, Matty. They have your strong nose and your beautiful eyes. They look like little versions of you.”

Matt wraps you in his arms and leaves kisses all over your face and neck, whispering how much he loves you and the family you gave him.

Billy Russo:

Billy is a nervous wreck when you go into labor.

When he’s not holding your hand through a contraction, he’s pacing the hospital room.

When the doctor says there’s a complication, Billy’s face goes white. He grabs your hand and pulls it to his chest, directly over his heart.

The baby is caught up in the umbilical cord, so they’re going to have to perform an emergency c-section.

“I want to be in there with you, but it’s up to you.”

“Of course I want you in there, Billy. You’re his dad. You’re my...baby daddy? Roommate? Boyfriend? What do I call you?”

“Let’s get married.” Billy breathes.

“Oh my god. You would pick right now to propose to me, Billy.”

When they pull the baby out of you, Billy looks like he’s going to pass out. (Did y’all know they have to remove your organs to get the baby out????? Like they fr put your intestines on the table next to you!)

You can’t feel a thing, but when the baby lets out a loud wail, tears begin to pour down your face. Billy rubs your head, kissing the tears as they fall and smiling down at you.

Billy is smitten with the baby as soon as he holds him in his arms.

You both decide to name him Theodore Russo – Theo for short.

The first night you and Billy bring Theo home, Billy sits in the chair next to Theo’s crib all night, watching him sleep.

Billy is a literal super dad to Theo.

He always offers to change Theo’s diapers and will quite literally run to the store to get you anything you need while you recover from the c-section.

He constantly refers to you as his fiancé, even though you technically didn’t say yes when he asked.

You both know that your answer is yes anyways lol.

When Billy has to go back to work, you and Theo end up missing him more than you expected to.

Billy tells you to visit him at work whenever you want, and the first time you and Theo show up, Billy takes you and Theo around and introduces you to everyone (and I mean literally everyone).

He’ll be instructing a team on some kind of military tactic while also holding an infant in one of those fuzzy bear onesies. (im melting someone give ben barnes a CHILD!!!!!)

Bucky Barnes:

When it’s finally time for you to be induced, Bucky is so excited he has to keep himself from jumping up and down.

Due to the high risk of your pregnancy, a c-section ends up being the safest birth plan.

Bucky looks so cute in the blue hair cap and scrub gown.

The birth goes as smoothly as a c-section can go, though Bucky does apologize to you for knocking you up after he sees them cutting into you.

Bucky’s smile is so wide when he finally gets to hold the baby.

You name him Jessie Steven Barnes, after Steve Rogers (because let’s be real, bucky would DEFINITELY name his first born after steve).

You fall in love with Bucky all over again watching him rock the baby to sleep.

“You look so natural like this. As a dad.”

“Wanna know something crazy? I think this is the most terrified I’ve ever been.”

“What do you mean?”

“I met you, and now we have a family, and I feel like this is the first time I’ve ever truly understood what peace feels like. It’s scary, because it’s new. I’m excited too, though. For this life with you.”

You and Bucky constantly argue over whose turn it is to hold the baby.

Bucky warming up his metal arm before picking up Jessie so he doesn’t get too cold.

Jessie ends up having the same icy blue eyes that Bucky does, which is aggravating, because you know he’ll be able to get away with anything by just batting his pretty little eyes at you.

Bucky and you haven’t talked about having more kids together, but you’re pretty sure he wouldn’t like the idea of another high-risk pregnancy for you. If anything, surrogacy would be the route of choice.

When you ask Bucky about it, he tells you that he’s happy no matter what you choose to do. More kids or not, he’ll be happy with the life he gets to live with you.

Peter Parker (Tom Holland):

Peter is already an anxious son of a bitch, so when I tell you this man is ANXIOUS AS HELL when you go into labor, I'm not exaggerating.

Peter is one of those people that rambles when they’re nervous, so he pretty much doesn’t stop talking until you cover his mouth with your hand and tell him to breathe.

The irony of you telling him to breathe while you’re literally the one having contractions is not lost on either of you, and you both giggle about it.

He’s a doll during the birth – pushing your hair out of your face, holding your hand, telling you how good you’re doing.

You’re both anxious to find out the gender of the baby, so when the doctor announces that it’s a girl, both of you are overwhelmed with emotions.

“Have you decided what you’re going to name her?” The doctor asks, handing you the baby.

“May Parker.”

Peter is a puddle of tears in this moment don’t even get me started.

"Who do you think she looks like more?"

"I can't tell. She sort of looks like an alien right now."

"So definitely you then?"

Having a boyfriend with spider-like powers ends up being so helpful while taking care of an infant.

Peter doesn’t have to worry about forgetting to grab anything when he’s changing May because he can just grab whatever it is with his webs lol.

May loves to take naps on a little web cradle Peter designed and has to remake every few hours.

It may all seem like sunshine and rainbows, but it’s just as hard as you thought it would be.

Whenever you and Peter think you have extra money, something comes up for May.

Neither of you complain about it, because May is this beautiful little human that you both created and love, but it would be nice if Spider-Man was a paid gig.

Even when both of you come home from work exhausted, you’re both so excited to be parents that you don’t let it affect how you interact with May.

You spend your nights cuddled into Peter’ side, forever grateful for the strange and unconventional family you have.

End Note: I hope you enjoyed this! I tried not to overlap any of the headcanons, but we all know these men are freaking sweethearts and would LOVE a baby so much. If you want to be added to the tag list for the 5th and final part, you can fill out this form!

Tag List:

@purple-amaranthe @raajali3 @kokoterainonago666 @minervadashwood @emiemiemiii @h4rrys @mylifeispainandiloveit @alexxavicry @hallecarey1 @km-ffluv

(Also tagging the people who asked for specific character tags below!)

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