#happykawaiicinnamonroll

[no6secretsanta]

Erlkönig

To: @happykawaiicinnamonroll From: @hi-im-secretly-satan

You asked for an angst fic, suggested getting sick and dying, so I delivered on both accounts! ;) It’s based on the German poem Erlkönig by Goethe, translated by Christopher Middelton. It was also turned into a Lied by Schubert. I highly recommend listening to it before reading this fic. I hope you enjoy and happy holidays! <3

Warnings: Major character death

—

“Shion, what’s that on your hands?”

Nezumi frantically ran through the chain of events that had resulted in him and Rikiga trying to wrestle a delirious Shion into the car, Inukashi anxiously tapping their foot behind them. When had things gone so wrong? He had only just saved Shion from being carried off to the Correctional Facility, a certain death sentence. Deeming themselves safe, they had freshened themselves up after the harrowing ordeal of escaping and Shion had been going on and on about his mother and strange deaths. At the time Nezumi had no clue what Shion was talking about, but now he berated himself for dismissing his words, for just as soon as he had waved him off, Shion became a victim himself. Shion had barely managed to escape from the terror that was No.6, only for another disaster to strike.

The parasite wasp.

In the moment Nezumi had briefly been grateful he had taken (stolen?) the first aid kit when he had quietly fled Shion’s house in the Cronos district, all those years ago. Now he cursed himself for not having made sure the equipment was sterile.

“How is he?”

Nezumi glanced up, catching Rikiga’s worried eyes in the rearview mirror before turning his attention back to Shion, lying curled up in the backseat with him, head resting in his lap. Shion’s breathing came erratically, fingers weakly clutching the torn and dirty fabric of Nezumi’s trousers, face screwed up in a pained grimace. Nezumi’s eyes fell from Shion’s pale face to the bandages wrapped around Shion’s neck, stained green and yellow with oozing pus, filling the car with a wretched smell. Merely a few short weeks ago he had yelled at Shion, a scalpel in his hand, demanding he live. But instead, Nezumi had unknowingly become the cause of his potential death. If the situation weren’t so dire, he’d laugh. Instead, he met Rikiga’s eyes again, and shook his head quickly, jaw clenched tight. Shion was dying, and it was his fault.

But he would not give up yet. They were going to smuggle Shion into No.6 and find a hospital to treat him. Shion had told them where to find one, directions wheezed through waves of pain. No matter the odds, they would succeed in this ridiculous, desperate plan. Shion would live, he would make sure of that. He refused to think of Shion dying, or how to go on living without him. He wasn’t sure he could.

“Nezumi…?”

Nezumi snapped to attention at the sound of Shion’s broken voice, barely audible over the loud car engine. “I’m here, Shion.” He brushed a few strands of tangled hair out of Shion’s face. His beautiful, white, almost translucent hair. Shion shivered but Nezumi doubted it was because of his touch.

“It hurts,” Shion moaned. Sweat beaded on his forehead and he hissed when a bump in the road jostled him and aggravated his already dreadful wound. “I don’t want to die. I… Nezumi, I want to live…” He weakly raised his hand and Nezumi immediately took it into his own.

“You’re gonna live,” Nezumi pressed, eyes locked determinedly with Shion’s. “You’ve survived this long, telling me how to take care of your wound for weeks. In No.6 they’ll be able to help you. You’re gonna make it.” He squeezed Shion’s hand reassuringly.

Shion shut his eyes and shook his head. “Sepsis and severe sepsis can last weeks but-”, a shudder ran through him and cut him off, “…but septic shock is quick and has- has a high mortality rate-”

“Shion.”

At his tone, Shion opened his eyes again and slightly turned his head to look hazily up at Nezumi.

Nezumi waited until he had Shion’s full attention. “You’re gonna live, you hear me? You can’t give up now. You still have so much to live for. I told you before, you still don’t know anything about sex, or books, or fighting. Do you really want to throw in the towel now?” Without realising, his voice had risen and he was nearly shouting. The mice which had been nestled silently in his scarf squeaked softly.

Shion stared up at him for a moment, before breaking out into a faint smile, eyes wet. “Yeah… Yeah, you’re right. I’m gonna make it.” A tear rolled down his cheek. Nezumi reached out to wipe it away. “Thank you, Nezumi.”

“Don’t thank me yet, just stay alive.”

Shion nodded and relaxed back into Nezumi’s lap, the corners of his lips still lifted in a soft smile. Unfortunately that smile warped into a grimace much too quickly. Shion moaned and curled up a little more, pulling his knees as far into his chest as the backseat would allow. Desperation seized Nezumi’s heart. Shion had saved him four years ago, he still hadn’t repaid that debt. He couldn’t let him die. He wracked his mind, trying to think of something, anything he could do to help, to ease Shion’s suffering.

There was one thing that came to mind, but Nezumi hesitated. It was a last resort, meant to ensure a peaceful, quiet death, but maybe, just maybe he could soothe Shion’s pain just long enough until they arrived at the hospital. Shion moaned again, fragile and broken, and the sound cut deep into his heart.

So Nezumi took a deep breath and sang.

It was soft, hardly louder than a whisper, but it seemed to resonate through the car. Inukashi, who had been barking orders at Rikiga from the passenger’s seat, fell quiet and turned to stare, dark eyes wide and knowing. Nezumi ignored them and kept all of his attention on the boy in his lap who had frozen and was now staring up at him with big eyes. For once Nezumi was glad that Shion knew nothing of literature, culture, or foreign languages, for if he’d understood the lyrics, he was sure he would never be forgiven.

“Who rides by the night in the wind so wild? It is the father, with his child. The boy is safe in his father’s arm. He holds him tight, he keeps him warm.”

Shion closed his eyes and a bit of the tension seemed to flow out of his body. Nezumi inwardly sighed in relief, too preoccupied to remember how Granny would berate him for doing so. He glanced out of the window and saw the gate fast approaching, so he tugged on the scarf around his neck and pulled it up to hide his face. The mice chittered and ran down his arms to hide in his pockets instead. The car came to a halt and Rikiga leaned out of the window towards the guard, murmuring quietly and urgently before handing over a thick wad of cash- a bribe both to let them in, and to forget they’d been there. Nezumi listened closely and mentally thanked whoever was out there when the car rolled forward again, passing unhindered through the gate and quickly picking up speed, desperate to reach the hospital as soon as possible.

“My son, what is it, why cover your face? Father, you see him, there in that place, The elfin king with his cloak and crown? It is only the mist rising up, my son.”

Unwinding his scarf from around his head, Nezumi gently covered Shion’s shivering body with the special fibre cloth. He remembered seeing this song performed in the dingy theater once, before he had joined the cast. A traveling singer and pianist duo had attempted to visit No.6 but were mercilessly cast out, so they had turned to wandering the West Block, trying to make some money at the rundown theater before moving on again. He hadn’t understood the meaning or language of the song then, only remembered the shivers that inexplicably had run down his spine and the strange, curling tension in the darkened corners of the room, until one day he stumbled across the poem in one of the books in the vault and finally understood.

In Nezumi’s lap, Shion stirred and burrowed under the blanket, grateful for the warmth despite his body heating up steadily.

““Dear little child, will you come with me? Beautiful games I’ll play with thee; Bright are the flowers we’ll find on the shore, My mother has golden robes fullscore.””

“Mum…” Shion murmured, weakly pushing away from Nezumi and raising his head, glazed eyes darting around, searching. “Where are you, mum…?” Nezumi swallowed, pausing his singing to wipe fresh tears from Shion’s face. “You’ll see her soon,” he promised quietly. He wasn’t sure if he could follow through on it. He had to believe.

“Father, O father, and did you not hear What the elfin king breathed into my ear?”

Shion shook his head insistently, gasping as the movement pulled at the weeping wound in his neck and sent pain shooting through his spine, setting his entire body aflame. “No, no, I want my mum,” he babbled. He tried to push himself up, trembling and weak, into a sitting position- but his arms lacked the strength to hold his own weight and he collapsed back into Nezumi’s lap, sobbing softly.

“Lie quiet, my child, now never you mind: Dry leaves it was that click in the wind.”

“Hush now,” Nezumi murmured in the most soothing voice he could muster, softly running a shaking hand through Shion’s hair. His vision became foggy and he blinked away the tears. “Be a good boy now and you’ll see her soon.” In the front seat Rikiga and Inukashi shared an anxious look.

““Come along now, you’re a fine little lad, My daughters will serve you, see you are glad; My daughters dance all night in a ring, They’ll cradle and dance you and lullaby sing, They’ll cradle and dance you and lullaby sing.””

Shion nodded quietly and obediently settled down, face still wet with tears but no longer weeping. He seemed to be at peace for a few moments, but then his eyes widened again and his breathing quickened. “Nezumi…”

Nezumi’s heart lurched at the sudden lucidity and he held his breath. “I’m here, Shion.”

Shion shook his head and shrunk away from him. “No… No, you’re not Nezumi… I-I need to see him…”

“Shion-”

“I need to know he’s safe…” Shion’s eyes darted around frantically. “He left so suddenly, I must see him again-”

Realisation dawned on Nezumi and when it sank in, it knocked all the wind from his lungs. Of course Shion wouldn’t recognise him; he was four years older now. He squeezed his eyes shut and took a shuddering breath, trying to stop the tears from spilling. There was nothing he could say to reassure Shion anymore. He was too far gone. Even if they reached the hospital, they probably couldn’t help him anymore. So he gathered all his courage, every ounce buried in his soul, and pushed it into the song, hoping it could help carry off Shion’s soul in peace, like it had done for countless others before him.

“Father, now look, in the gloom, do you see The elfin daughters beckon to me?”

Shion paused his desperate searching and looked at Nezumi like he saw him for the first time, watching him with childlike wonder. “You have a beautiful voice,” he murmured. He studied Nezumi’s face and smiled. “And your eyes… they’re just as grey…”

“My son, my son, I see it and say: Those old willows, they look so grey.”

Nezumi returned his smile in a way he hoped was reassuring and combed his fingers through Shion’s damp hair. Shion’s eyes fell shut and he sighed, a wisp of a sound.

““I love you, beguiled by your beauty I am, If you are unwilling I’ll force you to come!””

“Sir…” Shion said quietly and Nezumi’s heart fell into pieces. “If you ever find Nezumi, could you please tell him “thank you”? And that I miss him very much?”

“Father, his fingers grip me, O The elfin king has hurt me so!”

“And my mum, too. Promise me.”

Nezumi swallowed painfully and nodded, not daring to stop singing out of fear it would shatter the tentative calm that had washed over Shion.

Outside the car, the scenery rushed by, lush forests and bustling wildlife, carefully maintained by the City Hall, blurred by the speed of the car as Rikiga pressed harder down on the gas.

“Now struck with horror the father rides fast,”

“There’s the tree Shion mentioned!” Inukashi yelled, pointing ahead of them at a gnarled old oak tree. “Floor it, old man!!”

“If I go any faster we’ll all die before we can even get there!” Rikiga snapped in return.

“His gasping child in his arm to the last,”

“Please, sir, promise me…!” Shion begged, hazy eyes fixed unerringly on Nezumi’s own.

“Home through the thick and thin he sped:”

The trees parted to reveal the tiny hospital, a white and pure beacon of hope in the dark. Nezumi’s heart skipped a beat at the sight, but any and all hope that still lingered was crushed immediately after; wrapped in his arms, Shion took a ragged breath, spasmed once, twice, then fell limp, his blank eyes still staring up at Nezumi. Gravel sprayed under the wheels as the car swerved erratically into the parking lot and jerked into an abrupt halt. Seconds later the doors were yanked open and Nezumi heard someone yell something, but it didn’t register. He couldn’t move, frozen and staring unseeing at the boy in his arms, unable, unwilling to believe what his eyes and ears were telling him. A tear dripped down his cheek, followed by another, and another, falling like rain against Shion’s lifeless form. Nezumi’s mouth moved silently, voice trapped behind the gasping sobs threatening to choke him, leaving the last line to hang unsung, oppressive in the heavy air:  

(Locked in his arms, the child was dead.) 

[kohakhearts]

39. Your character walks into a cafe. What do they order? (with Ada please <3)

coming back here almost half a year later bc i completely forgot to answer these D:

39: your character walks into a cafe. what do they order?

ada is like...so much the person who orders stuff because it “sounds cool” or because it takes a lot of steps to prepare it. it’s not because she wants to make the barista work more jgjjgkf she just likes the Adventurous options! she likes lattes. loves seasonal drinks. for the record, she would absolutely love starbucks. she would probably like iced coffee but i think she prefers warm drinks. also...it’s gotta be sweet. she doesn’t really like the taste of coffee, so something that’s been sweetened to hell and back is right up her alley. she’d also like hot chocolate for sure, but.......she is, at heart, a Tea Person. i don’t think she has a regular order she really likes to try as much as she can.

ask about my ocs?

[yuudefensesquad]

*gives you a very big hug because you deserve it and so much more*

i wove u so much @happykawaiicinnamonroll

[codeadleaves]

12 & 15 for the ToZ ask game.

pff I’d just rolled a 12 so your ask is perfect! Thanks

(check the tozanniversary ask game!)

12. How do you prefer to play? (eg “on the sofa with chocolate bars in my mouth and a cat in my lap”)

This description sounds like the ideal way to play video games, unfortunatly my cat is way too distracting, between the random moment like “I’m gonna stand in the corner and meow until mom gives me full attention” and “let’s lie next to mom in the most ridiculous position ever so she will be too busy laughing and will lose her fight”, the best moment to play a game is to wait for him to be sound asleep, preferably with a safe distance between us so my eyes and hands don’t drift toward his soft looking fur… Add a nice cup of tea and it’s perfect. 

15. The game’s theme is “passion”. What part of the game are you most passionate about?

I’m very passionate about the whole game and will defend it against every injustified bashing I come across. …well, even against some justified stuff sometimes xD. Same goes with characters bashing, Zestiria is one of those rare game where I love every single party members, and hearing stuff like “Rose is a mary sure it’s impossible for her to be a killer and still be pure that’s shitty writing” make me lose it, like have you even played the game ffs??

To be honest I wrote a looooooooooot of posts on the matter over the years but I’ve never published them because most of them are probably unpopular opinions and tumblr being kind of a shitty place I’m always anxious about sharing opinions. (I did share a couple of thoughts but it was via anon ask. Polite anon asks though, I can’t stand useless trolling/hating)

[rockgator]

🖤 (for the demon ask)

🖤Have you ever manipulated humans to commit crimes or sinful actions?

“Well, the Asuramaru side of me has definitely done that. I have yet to do that myself, but maybe I will?”

[vixenfur]

Tomorrow

Fanfic ask meme! (Open)

tomorrow: favourite ways to write fluff?

Oh man, fluff!!

[dailymikayuureminders]

happykawaiicinnamonroll replied to your post “I'd turn off anon for a while if I were you. just a few days or a week...”

It's funny that an anon proposed that xD

There’s actually an explanation behind anon’s reasoning. Apparently Yuu being sexually interested in Mika means he’s a molester to some people, like anon.

I got another message right after talking about it and I was like: what. the. fuck.

[nosinsnolights]

Just wanted to tell you that your art is beautiful, cute and unique. Keep up the good work!

Oh my god, thank you so much!!!

[no-signs-no-lights]

B & C

B - A pairing you initially didn’t consider but someone changed your mind

Hmmm... kuregure!

C - A pairing you have never liked and probably never will

mika//krul. I hated it since day one.

Thanks for the question

Ask me

[aurynne]

Bluebell? (Hint in case you forgot the meaning: 👓)

Ohhh so /this/ must be for the botanical asks. Idk what the emojis you sent in earlier were for then, sorry about that.bluebell (do you wear glasses?) - Yup! Purple glasses!

[no6secretsanta]

For: @minibunbon​ From: @happykawaiicinnamonroll​

Trigger warning: Blood

[krisseycrystal]

rated: t

original work: What Rises From the Depths

prompt: “Home Invasion” + Chelsaline

requested by: @happykawaiicinnamonroll​

thanks for the request, happy!! just in time for OCeptember, even if it doesn’t TOTALLY fit the prompt for today <3 i’m posting it anyway...woo

read on ao3

[somefinelipstickonthatpig]

rated: t

fandom: Tales of Symphonia

prompt: “Coughing Up Blood” + Lloyd

requested by: @happykawaiicinnamonroll

OKAY LITERALLY thank u so much Happy u gave me like the literal best prompt paired with my FAVORITE CHARACTER EVER and i just wanna say thank u and bless u and ilu and i hope u enjoy. i had PARTICULAR fun writing this 

if u like what u see and want to request ur own angst fic, hmu!! the ones unmarked are still available <3

o - o - o

Apnea [Read on AO3]

Lloyd’s voice is raspy, warped around something in his airway. He holds up a hand; he straightens up. With a slow, deep inhale, he makes a good show of a single large breath, but it’s thin and stoppered, as if there’s a cork in that red-lipped bottleneck of his and he can’t manage to pry it free.

“S’oka--”

Then he coughs.

And it’s a hacking thing.

o - o - o

When Zelos had first raised an eyebrow at the creepy-ass lingering spirit of a four-armed swordsman, Lloyd had shrugged, grinned, and said, “Well, we’ve fought him before in an underground mine shaft. And now we have you! So no biggie! This’ll be a sinch. We’ll be out of here and at the Temple of Earth in no time.” 

Zelos watches as Lloyd’s back crunches against the wide trunk of a tree and he wonders if any part of a “sinch” was supposed to be reassuring when their asses are being handed to them.

“This is your definition of easy?!” Zelos shouts across the clearing, half to make sure Lloyd is okay enough to respond and half to actually get a legitimate answer.

Lloyd stumbles forward, nearly tripping over the thick, sprawling roots. “Uh…in my defense, this wasn’t…” A strangely blank look passes over Lloyd’s face: pale and wane, before his nose scrunches like he tastes something bad. “This is harder than I remember.”

“Grand Cross!”

The forest floor lights up.

Curling white encircles the skeletal swordsman. Swords-thing? Swords-bones? Zelos isn’t sure. He’s never seen anything like it before. Not that he needs proof besides looking at the thing to know it, but when it screams in pain, it definitely isn’t human. When it crashes to the ground, sprawling out on its vertebrae, the entire Gaoracchia Forest shakes.

Once it’s standing, Genis sweeps in with an Air Thrust.

Raine shouts to Lloyd, “Lloyd! Now!”

Zelos gets a funny feeling in his gut--he’s not sure why--as he watches Lloyd nod and break into a jogging run towards the Sword Dancer. Raine charges a Photon and launches it time with Lloyd’s spinning Tempest.

As it fades, the skeleton is happy at its defeat.

Genis and Raine and Lloyd get caught up in a conversation about the spirit and what it’s doing and how they should get rid of it, considering that before it disappeared, the spirit had promised a “next time.” 

Lloyd, as always, vows that he’ll get stronger which Zelos finds ironic considering he looks like he’s one wrong wind away from falling over. The fight must’ve done a bigger number than he thought. Lloyd’s voice comes out wobbly, like there’s a frog in his throat.

When Zelos meets eyes with Colette, he knows he’s not imagining things.

“We should keep moving,” Sheena says. Her gaze darts around the shadows of the thick underbrush. The long line of her shoulders is rigid. “This isn’t a safe place to rest.” 

“Right.” Lloyd nods. He clears his throat. 

He takes one step before the red of his shirt stretching across his shoulder blades pinches with a flinch, or maybe it’s a jerk. It’s not so much a sound as the motion that’s alarming.

Genis and Colette are at his side in an instant.

“Lloyd, you okay?” Genis’ eyes are wide, head tilted in that funny way he does when he’s trying to get a good look at his best friend’s face.

Colette puts a hand on his arm. Then, she thinks better of it and reaches into her bag. “Here--”

“--h-hang on.”

Lloyd’s voice is raspy, warped around something in his airway. He holds up a hand; he straightens up. With a slow, deep inhale, he makes a good show of a single large breath, but it’s thin and stoppered, as if there’s a cork in that red-lipped bottleneck of his and he can’t manage to pry it free. 

“S’oka--” 

Then he coughs.

And it’s a hacking thing. 

His body bows forward. A hand jerks up to his mouth. His other hand flutters to his knee and it would seem odd, it would seem strange, but Zelos’ body seems to recognize what will happen to Lloyd’s and why before his mind does. There’s a thin, shaking inhale from a torso that decidedly does not move and Lloyd drops. 

Zelos shoots forward. 

He manages to loop his arms under Lloyd’s and bring him back against his chest as his boots kick forward against dead leaves and twigs.

“It’s okay,” Zelos breathes, quiet enough for only Lloyd’s ears to hear as he coughs again. And again. And again. “Hey. Breathe. I’ve got you, idiot.”

Zelos sinks to the forest floor with him.

“Lloyd!” 

Colette and Genis fall to their knees on either side. Zelos doesn’t quite get their frenzied panic until he realizes there’s something wet and syrupy dripping along his forearm, trailing down his sleeve draped across the front of Lloyd’s chest. 

Oh.

Oh.

Zelos pulls back to peer over Lloyd’s shaking shoulder. From ear to cheek, Zelos can see only pallid skin and glazed brown eyes. Blood drips from his open, uncharacteristically slack mouth. Zelos can feel under his arm the hiccuping spasms of sputtering lungs within his chest as they try and fail over and over again to do their one job.

“MOVE!”

On instinct, Genis rolls back as Raine fills his place and cups Lloyd’s cheek in her hand. She doesn’t hesitate when blood speckles her wrist. Her other hand glows golden-white as it passes over his front. Her face is pinched tight, focused, as under her breath, she mutters incantation after incantation. 

At last, finally, when Zelos feels like his legs are falling asleep on either side of Lloyd’s from the awkward positioning, Raine pulls away and Lloyd shudders.

Genis and Colette are at his shoulders, now. Zelos is fairly certain they have nearly forgotten he’s there, even if he deserves a thanks or two for being the only thing keeping their childhood friend upright.

“W-wow,” Lloyd rasps. His chest rises and falls quickly with hungry breaths. “Thanks.”

Raine’s staff crashes hard against Lloyd’s temple.

Zelos leans back as far as he can.

Lloyd yelps and grasps for his head with bloodied gloves.

“Why didn’t you tell me you were injured?!” she cries. “I could have healed you in the fight before making you do that Photon Tempest.”

“I didn’t…I didn’t think it was that--!”  

“You didn’t think, huh? Oh, that’s hardly surprising.”

Zelos tries to stuff his chuckle before it breaks free but fails. 

When Colette reaches forward and takes both Lloyd’s shoulders in her hands, there’s something earnest and pained in the blue of her eyes as she searches Lloyd’s. Then she says, “Don’t ‘it’s okay’ it next time.”

Lloyd stares at her. 

Colette’s face flushes. Her fingers tighten in the red of his shirt sleeves.

Zelos thinks he must miss something in their wordless conversation, because when Lloyd finally sighs, Colette does, too. 

“Yeah,” Lloyd whispers. “Okay.”

[codeadleaves]

@happykawaiicinnamonroll replied to your post: Disabled AU (10-16) It was just a normal day....

Awwww this is so cute. A half blind Sorey and a handicapped Mikleo. Though I got confused at first when I read the title because one of my original stories is called that.

Now think about the two of them having a heated debate about ancient history while Sorey carries Mikleo piggyback style and Mikleo tries to navigate him in the right direction xD That’s a fun coincidence, good luck with your stories :)

@toradh replied to your post: Disabled AU (10-16) It was just a normal day....

omg Edna. As in Edna yes

Lady Edna is unstoppable and totally made poor Alisha carry the wheeling chair to get it repaired. 

[rockgator]

I wanna give Yuu a big hug before kidnapping him or rather taking him away from all the evil creatures.

[ Awww! Yes, he deserves all the happiness. Yuu deserves better! ]

[onsgiftexchange]

Ki’s Owari no Seraph Gift Exchange present to @happykawaiicinnamonroll

Artist’s note:

I headcanon Yuu and Shinoa watching old anime together.