#harge you ass

[mymoviewatches]

ᐢ..ᐢ - Carol (2015)

- - - - [Movie Rating 38] - - - -

★ Ratings ★

✩ Personal Rating: 8/10

✩ IMDb Rating: 7.2/10

[hallospaceboyy]

Easy Living

Carol Aird x Femme Reader

Content warning: Smut

Carol rises gracefully from the carpeted floor, hips swaying as she approaches the gramophone. The dulcet sound of Billie Holiday's ‘Easy Living’ caressing your ears as her slender fingers place the needle delicately onto the record. While you imagine caressing Carol.

You know it’s wrong, know that it could cost Carol everything, but you can’t seem to stay away from her – and her you. As far as Harge knew, you’d gone your separate ways months ago, when Carol assured him so; and the joint custody of Rindy had remained steadfast. You’d never expected Harge to be a man of his word.

Carol turns and smirks at you, her neat curls bouncing.

“Do you remember the first time we danced to this?” Her voice is sonorous, teasing, as her hands clasp your waist and pulls your body flush against hers. You feel your cheeks warm as you feel every soft curve, every angle of her.

“How could I forget?” Your voice comes out a whisper as her hands travel lower, as she begins to sway you in time to the music.

She kisses you then, lips velvety soft and full against yours, and your head spins, fogs with only thoughts of Carol – how she tastes, how she feels, her warmth, her scent, sweet and spicy all at once. Carol has that effect – complete euphoria, invading all of your senses in the best ways possible. She consumes you, burns you up, until it feels like only the two of you are left on the entire planet, until you forget the existence of everyone else.

Carol’s kisses become more desperate, her teeth nipping at your lip, her chest heaving with want as her hands paw at your ass, red nails digging into soft flesh – kneading there as you deepen the kiss, tongue meeting tongue.

All of a sudden, Carol pulls away, and her blue eyes are hardly blue at all – pupils dilated, dark with lust and longing. She bites her lip and nimbly kneels before you. Her hands glide up your thighs, squeezing firmly and she pushes you gently to lean against the wingback chair, conveniently behind you.

“Y/N...” Your name leaves her lips as a breathy sigh, and you shiver, brushing her hair from her forehead as she begins bunching up your figure-hugging dress you’d deliberately worn around your hips.

“Yes, Carol?” You part your legs.

“I want to taste you. Now.” The blonde nips at your inner thigh and you gasp, letting out a breathy laugh. She grins up at you as you snap the waistband of your lace underwear against your hip, raising an eyebrow at her.

“Then what are you waiting for? Bon appetit.”

Carol chuckles as she tugs the garment down your legs, flinging them to one side. You feel her warm breath between your legs as her eyes gaze upward to meet your own.

“Don’t make me regret taking you to Paris. Cheeky.”

Then her tongue flicks out over your clit, quickly at first, followed by a long, firm stroke. Your breath catches in your throat, head falling back as you fist a hand in her blonde curls. She laughs deeply against you, relishes watching you come apart so easily for her.

“My good girl.” She murmurs against you, then resumes the rapid movements of her tongue. You can feel the warmth flood between your thighs, and just as you tense, sparks dancing behind your eyelids, she slows, reverting to long, teasing strokes with the very tip of her tongue.

You whine in frustration, one hand clutching her hair, the other clawing at the chair behind you as your legs shake.

“Carol, please,” You breathe, voice tremoring in your throat.

“Look at me, sweetheart,” Her voice is soft, yet commanding, and you roll your head forwards on your shoulders to gaze down at her with clouded eyes – taking in the haze of her own, her mussed hair, her always perfectly red stained lips smudged. She smirks and winks at you. “Now keep looking. For as long as you can.”

You nod meekly, unable to think of anything but how desperately you need her to carry on, to grant you release – and so she does. Peering up at you, she resumes her ministrations ravenously, her lips closing around your clit and sucking, then flicking again, hard and fast, right on the sweet spot that makes you feel like your legs are going to collapse beneath you.

Your climax crashes through you like a tidal wave, bursts of pleasure jolting through you like lightning, and you moan and whimper loudly, hips bucking against Carol’s eager mouth. You maintain eye contact, and she hums, gripping your hips and anchoring you to the armchair as your legs threaten to give way at the vibrations.

As you come down, you let your eyes drift shut and she smirks up at you, pressing a single kiss to your still sensitive nub before licking her lips and rising to stand on her knees. Carol presses the side of her face to your stomach, and you cradle her head with trembling arms, fingers raking through her blonde tresses.

“I love you,” She murmurs, arms snaking around your waist.

You smile, taking her arms and tugging gently, gesturing for her to stand. She does, coming face to face with your hooded eyes; and as you gaze at her, taking in the soft crows feet at the corners of her eyes, the smile lines alongside her mouth, the pinkness of her cheeks, the sky blue of her eyes, she looks almost unsure – pale blue searching your face, but her smile never wavers.

“I love you too, Carol. And I have for a long time.”

Her whole face softens as you cup her cheek, and she kisses you, with no urgency this time. Soft and slow, with the faint hiss of the finished record still spinning in the background, Carol knows you have all the time in the world.

[lazybakerart]

I stumbled across your account while in the Billy tag. I have to say I am genuinely so happy that someone out there loves him as much as I do. I am so freaking tired of defending him and justifying my love for him. And being told it’s only because I find him attractive. It makes me want to pull all of my hair out. Keep fighting the good fight! I’m not on here a lot, but if you’d like someone to talk to about him or any character. I’m here. I’m always looking for more friends, especially Billy stans. My question for you is, which outfit of Billy’s is your favorite?

my dearest. my darling. thank you.

first up, the Honorary Mention, since it's in a bit of a grey area. billy did wear this, but it was only in a photo.

the one and only crop-top

in a show that purportedly loves the 80s, the lack of crop tops was felt, deeply, and some say may have impacted the show's realism and its commitment to deepthroating nostalgia, but we got our crumbs and if anyone was going to strut around in an itty-bitty shirt, thankfully it was billy because it could only be billy. no one else could pull it off. don’t even argue. don’t even start. you know i’m right. shh.

now, let's get into it.

TOP FIVE BILLIAM OUTFITS

#5

metalhead-tastic

we don't see billy in black all that much and i am on the floor in love with this style of shirt for him because it's such a contrast to our go-to tits-out billiam that we adore. it's a crew neck + sleeveless to show off his arms. billy is all about putting his best assets out first: tits, face, ass, and - you know it - arms. he's a metalhead and he should be in more black! but i'll take what i can get.

#4

niagara baby

the most insane outfit ever. i firmly believe he stole every bit of it from the lost & found at the pool/from his coworkers. it's bonkers. it goes against everything billy believes in style wise. a cap that covers his gorgeous hair he always makes sure is Perfection. a long sleeve shirt that covers his chest and abs AND ARMS? it is iconic. it is trucker-chic. it proves billy can wear absolutely anything and still be damn hawt.

#3 

gym rat

this shirt and his gym shorts? honey. let’s not even get into the one curl that is so exact and so perfectly captures a goldilocks curl straight out of the woods that it could have only been brought into existence with precision and purpose -  we know two things about billy hargrove: he does not fuck around with his hair or girls. back to the outfit, which is really about the shirt. i love it. once again the crew neck collar, but it’s the sleeves that bumps this outfit up the list. wide open. to show off not just his beefy arms, but to give us a peek of side-boob and those wonderful abdominal muscles. this shirt says, ‘yeah, you can look, but you ain’t getting the whole show for free.’ he wants dinner first. he wants to be romanced. he wants a guy to squeeze his bicep and say ‘wow, you’re really strong.’

#2

nice and toit

season three was a hot mess, but it did give us some A++ looks and this one cannot be overlooked. it’s simple. it’s elegant. it’s rough. this is what a metalhead who drives a camaro wears. tight white tank top and a pair of tight-tight jeans. [insert that one gif of dacre and joe talking about those jeans/dacre’s ass here] you cannot go wrong with this look. it encapsulates who billy is - the irony being, of course, technically this is not currently billy wearing it, but let’s not drown in the details, lets gag on the aesthetic - it’s summer. it’s hot. it shows off everything billy wants to show off. he’s a guy who pumps iron while smoking and drinking, he is not working out to get healthy, he’s putting on mass to get that dick. it shows off his chest. his abs. his shoulders. his arms. those jeans show off every damn thing going on down there and it is nothing but good for miles. tight shirt. tight jeans. you know it. you know.

#1

the classic

when i think of billy, well, i think of a lot of things, but that denim jacket is front and center with billy hargrove. no other character quite embraces denim like billy and this jacket is like another limb for him. the cuffed sleeves. the pack of smokes in the pocket. the kiss mark on the sleeve that gives a person ideas and thoughts not exactly pertinent to this post. the cherry on top that pushes this ensemble to number one is the unbuttoned shirt. that’s billy. that’s dacre giving us a piece of himself. it’s that slip of rebellion added to the water. a white buttoned shirt half-undone to drive the population of hawkins wild + the denim jacket and those tight-tight jeans to make sure no one who looks billy’s way will think he’s someone to mess with. he’s a bad boy. he’s trouble. he’s no good. he’s looking to get his neck chomped on. he’s strutting in jeans he can barely sit down in looking to get dicked down. the classic. the original. the best. done. perfect. god i love him.

+ ★★★★★

sexy time

billy and his date night shirt. we have the iconic tight jeans telegraphing the speed at which a man could bounce a quarter off billy’s ass + THE red shirt. this is not any ordinary red shirt. this is the red shirt billy has chosen to wear to whatever date he’s been cockblocked from attending (likely with a few boys from the football team, canon was never very specific, but the subtext tells us everything we need to know on billy’s love life - dudes and a lot of them when steve still refuses to give him his number). it’s one of the only shirts we see on him with a pattern - outside of this, it’s plain colored shirts with a variety of sleeve lengths. this is his nice shirt. this is the quality shirt. this is the shirt a guy will touch and think, yeah, he’s gonna touch billy a little more. add in that it’s barely buttoned with billy’s best assets in the spotlight - eye catching + easy access - you can’t go wrong. and neither can billy. this is his fuck-me shirt. his fight-me shirt. violence and love married in red.

[amerrierworld]

Suspended

Carol (2015) fanfiction

request: “nsfw Carol/Therese with restraints, bottom!Carol”

Summary: Therese sees something she shouldn’t have, and can’t stop thinking about it. 

Characters: Carol x Therese

Word Count: 2,185

Warnings: SMUT! Bondage and restraints, bottom!Carol, top!Therese, modern AU. You’ve been warned. 

Therese hadn’t meant to see Carol’s last internet search, really. Her own laptop had died and she needed to urgently check her emails from work, so she figured Carol wouldn’t mind her using hers while she was out with Abby.

She hadn’t intended to see all the searches for bondage and ropes, really.

And she definitely hadn’t meant to keep searching and clicking further and further through various sex-toy and lingerie online shops. Really.

And the add to shopping cart button was only pressed by a slip of her finger. Really.

She simply had no idea what happened. 

By the time Carol was home, Therese kept her composure and pushed her embarrassing encounter on the computer to the back of her mind, and no further comment was made about it. Carol chatted happily about the latest furniture shop occurrences, expressed her excitement about seeing Rindy next weekend, and asked Therese about her photographic endeavours of late.

But not much was going on in Therese Belivet’s mind other than the image of her blonde lover trussed on the bed with soft but sturdy rope, so she gave a half-hearted answer and continued eating the soup she’d made for their dinner.  

“Darling?” Carol asked suddenly, covering Therese’s hands with her own. “Is everything alright.”

Therese blinked, pushing away the image of Carol, writhing and gasping for air, “of course, why wouldn’t there be?”

“You seem miles off, sweetheart. Is there something happening at work?”

“Well, no-,” Therese stopped, cleared her throat, knowing if she didn’t find a different excuse she’d have to confess to Carol all the fantasies swirling in her head. “I’ve just got a lot of things on my mind, I suppose. Work-related,” she added, hoping it didn’t sound too hasty.

Carol didn’t seem satisfied with the answer, but didn’t press further. She leaned over and gave Therese a soft kiss before clearing the table and heading to the kitchen to do the dishes. 

-

A week or so passed, the weekend with Rindy delighting and exhausting both women. Once Harge had picked up their daughter, Carol coaxed Therese to bed, gently and lazily caressing Therese’s heating body. Until Therese flipped them over and pressed her nude body into Carol’s.

Something hitched in Carol’s throat and her gaze darkened. Intrigued, Therese experimented, tracing her fingers up Carol’s ribcage to her armpits before pushing her arms up above her head and pinning her wrists with one hand. 

Carol kept quiet, but her body shivered and her mouth went dry. Her grey eyes were stormy, looking deeply into Therese’s piercing gaze. 

A whimper escaped her, and Therese breathed in sharply through her nose, and her free hand slipped between Carol’s legs, finding a tsunami at her fingertips.

It didn’t take long, with Therese’s firm grip on Carol’s arm, lips sucking along her jaw and fingers working feverishly inside. Carol cursed, and shouted, and begged as she came, thrashing her head about.

As she came down from her high, Therese gently pulled out and pondered when her package would be arriving. 

-

The day it arrived, Carol was working late at the furniture store, giving Therese ample time to prepare. She bounced around the front door until finally, finally, it rang, with an oblivious postman handing her a package and wishing her a good day. 

It felt like Christmas, but far naughtier and secretive, and Therese was smiling ear to ear, brimming with excitement. There was a selection of soft ropes, ribbons, and a choker in a bright red that matched Carol’s lipstick perfectly. 

Therese let the rope slip through her fingers as she inspected it, enjoying how sturdy and heavy it felt, and imaging it pressed against Carol’s alabaster skin, flushed with arousal.

Carol came home once Therese had put everything out on the bed, and she sheepishly made her way to the kitchen where Carol was rummaging around. 

“I  thought we could try something tonight,” Therese asked, watching Carol as she washed her hands in the sink. 

“Oh? Like a new take-out? We can get Uber eats, sure,” she replied, reaching for the towel.

“I didn’t mean food,” Therese chuckled, wrapping her arms around Carol’s middle from behind, kissing her shoulder. “I meant we could try something.. you know?”

“Oh?” Carol’s tone was teasing, dropping lower with every second. Therese pulled the towel from her and held Carol’s hands in her own, fingers intertwining. 

“Yeah, something I picked up recently. Something I think that you like,” Therese muttered. Damn her responsive body, she was already blushing, even though she was the one doing the seduction tonight. Therese felt Carol press her body back against hers, felt the curve of her ass press against her middle, and she groaned. 

Slowly, to make sure she wanted it, Therese pulled Carol’s arms behind her, turning her elbow and holding her wrists until her arms were effectively trapped under Therese’s hold.

Carol began breathing heavily, head tipping back to give Therese a shy smile, questioning, curious, intrigued. 

Therese procured a thick silky ribbon from her pocket and wove it around Carol’s wrists until they were bound. She didn’t tie it, but held the two loose ends and tugged, like a leash, letting Carol fall back a little, which earned her a surprised gasp. 

“Angel..” Carol breathed, in a soft, desperate voice that Therese knew so well. 

“Bedroom,” Therese ordered, turning both their bodies to face the doorway out of the kitchen. She kept Carol in front of her, nudging her lightly, encouraging her, and on weak legs Carol lead the way, hyper aware of the tight ribbon being tugged by Therese. 

The bedroom looked the same, save for the neat pile of rope lying on the bed, and Carol’s pulse quickened in surprise. 

“A little present for you,” Therese said, and Carol heard the grin in her voice. The ribbon came off with a soft swishing sound, and her arms fell limply by her side. Normally at this time Carol would be tempted to push Therese to the bed, trap her underneath her body and have her way with her, but this time she felt frozen to the spot. 

She stood there, brain barely working, as Therese helped her undress, occasionally kissing her neck and shoulders.

“Still with me?” Therese wondered aloud. Carol blinked, pulling her eyes away from the ropes and at her lover.

“How did you know?” she asked, finding her voice again.

“Know what?”

“That I like... this.”

Therese shrugged, and smiled, “I had a hunch. Do you like the colour?”

She picked up the choker, a soft but firm leather, dyed bright red. Carol recognized the colour, and blushed.

“Yes,” she muttered. Therese clasped it in place, sitting deftly on Carol’s slim neck, and her lips parted in surprise as Therese leaned forward and bit the spot between her neck and shoulders. Her hands instinctively grabbed Therese’s hips, and the brunette immediately pulled away.

“That won’t do,” she said, half to herself. Carol felt her hands hang limply, awkwardly, wishing they were occupied with something, anything. 

“Come here,” Therese said, sitting on the edge of the bed, grabbing the rope. “Lie down.”

Carol was trembling, needing Therese’s hands to support her noodle limbs. She turned over on the bed, scooting to thee middle, lying down on her back as was requested and again, didn’t know what to do with her hands. She wanted to grab Therese, hold her face, pull her thighs apart. Her fingers twitched.

Instead, Therese guided her arms above her head, reminiscent of when she held her down with just her hands and fucked her until Carol saw stars. 

“Is this okay?” Therese muttered, looking down at Carol. She nodded, “yes, oh, god, angel. Yes.”

Therese was so gentle, so careful in her actions, and the slowness of it made Carol ache between her legs. Her wrists were eventually bound to the headboard, deliciously tied up.

She thought that was it, but Therese had other plans. Her young, daring lover, grabbed two more pieces of rope and begun winding it loosely around her thighs, making sure every knot was immaculately placed. 

Then she pushed Carol’s legs further apart, spreading them and folding her knees. She wound the rope around Carol’s thighs and calves, securing them together so that there was no chance of her stretching them out and squeezing them together.

Carol’s heart was pounding in her chest as she became immobile, staring up at Therese who settled between her legs, rubbing her body sensually against Carol’s cunt that felt like it was on fire. 

“Therese,” Carol breathed, a bare whimper. “Where on earth did you learn that?”

Therese simply shushed her and palmed at her legs, rubbing at the patches of skin, pulling a bit tighter where she could, and Carol felt completely helpless. She couldn’t move, could barely thrust her hips upwards because there was no good leverage for her to use with her legs wrapped up the way they were. Her wrists tugged at the restraints involuntarily and Therese giggled. 

She made her way down Carol’s body, nibbling at her breasts and hard nipples, before diving without hesitation to her most sensitive place. Carol shouted in surprise as Therese pushed her tongue in immediately. With how wet she had become just from the preparation, it was easy. 

Carol’s torso twitched and squirmed, trying to find some way to move in rhythm with Therese’s cruel ministrations. When she realized she wouldn’t be able to get what she wanted herself, Carol whimpered and nearly sobbed, letting her body go limp and be at Therese’s mercy.

“That’s it,” Therese murmured against her cunt, hands pressing against the inside of Carol’s thighs, giving her a delicious stretch that had her moaning.

At the sound, Therese used one hand to pull Carol’s folds apart, the other to enter her with three swift fingers, and here tongue to press up against her clit. Carol’s back arched as much as it could, her legs shaking from pleasure. 

“Therese, oh, Therese,” she cried, eyes glued to the sight of Therese between her legs, green eyes glowing with wickedness. 

“Do you like this?” Therese asked, almost sounding innocent as she fucked Carol steadily, pulling away to replace her tongue with her other hand on her clit. “You like how it feels?”

Carol nodded, sweat gliding down her neck. “I like it too,” Therese said, kissing an exposed patch of her inner thigh. “I like how it looks.”

And the sight really was incredible. Carol was trussed up, spread wide, completely merciless and begging for Therese’s touch. 

“Please, please,” Carol begged. Her voice was nearly gone from the ragged gulps of breaths she was taking, drying out her throat. 

Therese went down again, turning her fingers around inside Carol and instead of curling upwards, she tried pressing down as strongly as she dared, deep inside her. Carol nearly screamed, body going taut. She kept her tongue on her clit and continued short, deep thrusts with her fingers inside her. 

Carol saw stars. Her eyes rolled back and the moment Therese pressed deep inside her and her lips closed around her clit to suck, she knew she was long gone. A shudder made its way from deep inside her cunt all the way up her spine, and her body shook all over. Her gasps of ‘oh, oh, God,’ rose in pitch, making sweet, feminine sounds as Therese fucked her through her orgasm. 

Carol felt like she had fallen apart, piece by piece, by Therese’s nimble hands and mouth. She barely registered Therese undoing all the knots and releasing her arms and legs. Barely registered Therese massaging up her legs, rubbing the faint red lines away. Her body was humming like a telephone line, limp, but still suspended between two places. Her lover’s touch and her intense orgasm. 

Therese kissed her cheeks and rubbed her arms and wrists with her fingers, curling up beside Carol and cradling her head with one hand. The other ran over Carol’s sweaty skin, over her belly and breasts, soothing all the sore muscles. 

“I don’t think I’ll ever try to take charge in bed, ever again,” Carol managed to say. “Not now that I know that you can do that.”

Therese giggled again, and Carol threw her arms around her, kissing her hotly and madly. “Oh, my angel. What did I do to deserve you?”

She realized Therese was still fully closed, and pouted, tugging at the neckline of her blouse. “Please?”

Therese could get used to the sound of Carol begging for something. 

“In a minute. Let me hold you,” she nuzzled Carol’s hair and stroked up and down her shoulders and back. Her own arousal was through the roof, her panties completely ruined, but she was determined to let Carol come down completely from her high first.

Unfortunately, Carol fell asleep within minutes, holding onto Therese tightly and settling in for her afternoon nap. Therese sighed, filled with love as Carol nudged her nose sleepily against her neck. She settled down on the pillow and smiled before closing her own eyes. She could wait. 

A/N: Y’all are nasty with your requests, but I’m also nasty for writing them, and I don’t know which one of us is worse. Have a lovely evening you dirty buggers~

[rappaccini]

tua s1 rewatch

1x07 | og rewatch

0:00

'one is the loneliest number' really should've been a luther song. but it works here nonetheless

+"doctor terminal" is name-dropped here as one of the villains baby harold is play-fighting. he was also the man behind the terminauts, the robots who attack the academy in the comic-equivalent of the hazel/cha cha fight.

here he is.

also i... think it's hilarious and disheartening how the show accurately predicted that the greatest antagonist to the umbrella academy would be toxic, entitled fans who get angry that the hargs are imperfect, try to groom their faves into one-dimensionally perfect, pure love interests while pitting them against the others (and that vanya being flattened into a perfect girlfriend would be her downfall) and completely miss the point. they were smart enough to predict their own fandom.

and it's baffling how in season 2 they... let those fans walk all over them. wack.

also i hate how the show tries to make leonard evil by showing us that he is a lonely, bullied, abused child who's so unsafe that he has to kill his dad. rather than just making him an entitled fanboy, they made him a Bad Victim. more foreshadowing for what they'd ultimately do to vanya: Bad Victims are apparently so much worse than the people who hurt them.

anyway. god how much would it sting if we had no clue harold was shady until this moment?

so much of the harold plot is so smart, and so much is underbaked.

i feel like making the conductor-type a toxic fanboy is brilliant- it also hammers in that celebrity and how literally even their villains prefer vanya's family to her. i think that needs to stay. i think that needs some work to get rid of the dents in the plate, but it's very, very solid as an idea.

the family car even has the same plates. tua is stuffed to the brim with greek myths: icarus, hermes, cronus the child-eater, the labyrinth and the monster at its heart being hotel oblivion, the pseudo-incest, five as odysseus... it's got scope.

so it looks like the kids' hero names are show canon too. i get why the show avoided talking about them: 'kraken' makes no sense as diego's name because he can't hold his breath like his comics counterpart. and asking people to remember 'luther is both one and spaceboy' might be a lot. it's simpler to just keep it to the numbers and names.

their numbers matter a lot more than their hero names anyway.

constant: the conductor-type gets the journal

variable: in the comics, he kills for it, in the show he fishes it out of the garbage. i like how the evolution ties klaus into the tragedy! and how thematically, this all happens because the siblings disregard vanya, the way klaus throws something valuable (that also happens to contain some serious symbology with his trauma) in the trash bc he'd rather numb himself to his issues than face them.

9:35

"the sonny to your cher"

man. why did they not set this show in the 80s, where sonny and cher would've been a much more current cultural touchstone (and where the sonny and cher comedy hour, as an early 70s tv hit, would've been a show that vanya and leonard would've been aware of and have likely watched as teens/20somethings). i swear the writers keep using old references and tech, which makes the 2010s setting so baffling. you clearly want to make this a period piece. so just make it a period piece.

13:26

diego hunting the conductor-type is a comics constant. five and allison joining him is a show addition.

(also why on earth doesn't the academy discover helen's corpse. it's a much easier sell of absolute danger than 'he killed his father, vanya!')

and i love that five gets knocked on his ass with a wound. it's transparently just a way to get him out of commission yet again, but i think it works well.

29:00

okay in hindsight the luther/klaus plot is pure filler. it's just to give them something to do. it's fun, but it's just for that.

i do like how klaus's addiction has steadily been used to foreshadow vanya's power suppression, and that his arc is to do with resolving to try and beat it though.

35:47

more of that Good Phantom Shit: the conductor-type taking the ingenue to a secluded home on a lake to hone her craft.

40:54

klaus meeting god is a constant. and so is being rejected by said god, mentioning he's an agnostic, and not getting a clear answer as to who he was made by.

god's a cowboy and he meets him because of being tortured to death by hazel and cha-cha in the dallas arc in the comic.

god's a girl, and he meets her because... of being killed by a furry in the show.

tbh i prefer the comic. a little less superfluous. idk why exactly it changed- maybe to avoid the complication of bringing a horse on set. but the setting's different because there aren't exactly any deserts in toronto.

and klaus having a near-death experience and hallucinating his father? straight from the comics, but it's hotel oblivion.

it was an interesting addition here, but i'm not so sure it has as strong an effect as it would if it were during his overdose. regardless, i'm sure it's here because we need reginald to resolve the mystery of his death by telling us he killed himself.

54:30

i love the ending. and i love the contrast of the days that were and weren't: where everything goes perfect and everything goes wrong (even if i think episode 6 ultimately shouldn't have been here). i love the break into act three.

despite all my little misgivings about filler, i do really think it works here. for what this season is, being a little too big for its own good, i think the filler plots work to build character, theme and get us to the plot, even if it's slower than we need.

i just wish that the show had streamlined the leonard plot more. they had something really special and fucked it up. maybe next time, someone'll get it right.

101 | 102 | 103 | 104 | 105 | 106 | x | 108 | 109 | 110 | overall

[phasingal]

back to the future

[ moved from discord, klave with @seancesayshello ]

Scrubbing a towel through his hair, Dave let out a heavy sigh, sat down on the corner of Klaus' bed. Tiredly, he cast a look around, as if anything in his boyfriend's bedroom would jump at him, give him a hard enough shock that he'd be startled into reality -- or, at least, if something would seem out of place enough to make this more obviously the fever dream it had to be. 

No such luck. All he heard were the distant creaks of an old house, and all he saw was an ordinary room. As ordinary as it could be, belonging to who it did, anyway. 

Dave sighed again, hand coming up to poke idly at the stitches on his chest, where the shrapnel had hit him and nearly taken his life. Mrs Harg-- no, Grace, had done a fantastic job of patching him up, much better than anyone on the med team could have, all the while with a smile on her face and a soothing voice. So. The future. 2019. Dave had hoped he'd make it here, but not like this. Certainly not like this.

Klaus knocked very quietly at the door with the back of his knuckles, biting his bottom lip before pushing a smile to them. Dave had nearly lost his life on that battlefield, and only narrowly survived the treatment given to him by Grace. He owed his mother a lot for this. He knew it. 

 "Hey, there... I brought you water." Klaus stepped - or tiptoed - into the room with a clear relief to his eyes. He was aware that Dave was struggling, but he couldn't find it in himself to be sorry. It was a spontaneous trip to the future, or death. And Klaus would much rather be thorn to shreds and fed to a pack of rabid wolves than to let his precious, beautiful Dave die. 

 "I know this is a lot... I figured you'd need a bit of time, so I asked the others to get the hell outta here for the day. Not sure they'll actually care, but.." He sat beside the blonde, handing over the water. Dave's dogtags hung around his neck, which he had taken when Grace'd asked that he remove them to clear way to his wounds. He didn't plan to take them off unless he was made to.

The door opened, revealing a happy Klaus. As it never failed to do, the sight of him softened Dave's heart, soothed his mind. Everything he'd seen so far of the future was scary, but Klaus' presence made it infinitely less so. 

 "Hey there", he echoed, weakly, trying and failing to put on a decent smile. He took the water with a nod of thanks, and finished it in one go. It probably meant he was a bad guest, but only after Klaus mentioned them that Dave remembered there were other people in this house. "Oh. Right. Luther, Diego, Allison, Five --" not Ben, Ben was the dead one -- "Vanya, right? It's okay. You didn't have to do that. It's their home, too." Besides, he'd always been a little bit curious to meet them, in spite of (or maybe partially because) how rocky the relationship between Klaus and his siblings was. 

 Out of the corner of his eyes, he spotted an extra set of dogtags, his own name engraved on them. With a small smile, Dave reached up, gave them a flick of his finger to watch them swing back and forth. "They look good on you." Everything looked good on Klaus, Dave wagered it was his real superpower.

Klaus chuckled softly when Dave said that the home was theirs too, because he knew for a fact that they were not going to leave. None of them cared for Klaus as they grew up, or cared to notice he’d even been kidnapped, so why would they now? He figured they probably didn’t even know he’d asked them to go. 

“Well, none of them give a shit about me, so they’ll still be here, so you’ll likely meet everyone. Ben is here, too. In fact, he’s standing against the door with a very disturbing smile on his face.” He looked toward the Ghost as Ben snorted, but he did in fact smile. Ben liked Dave a lot, the man brought happiness and courage into Klaus. Things he’d thought were never going to be a part of him again. Or, at least not in high enough strength that it would stop him from poisoning himself. “He likes you.” He smiled, eyes meeting Dave’s with only a vaguely hazy hint to them. Klaus wasn’t exactly clean, but he’d been working toward it greatly; Dave deserved a healthy lover. 

 “Oh.” Klaus looked down at the tags and wrapped his hand around them, a blush growing on his cheeks. He knew his own were laying on a desk somewhere but he didn’t care, he wore Dave’s proudly. “She needed me to remove all of the things that were in the way-... I can give them back if you make me.” He laughed a little, holding them a little tightly. God, the amount of times that he’d squeezed that thing in his fist, kissed it, and prayed to whatever gods there were to not take his man from his life.

Meeting everyone. When the war got too tough, when the bloodshed and death were too much, and Klaus was already asleep, Dave would wrap his arms tight around his lover and imagine an ideal world where they'd leave this blasted war, Klaus would mend fences with his family, meet Dave's siblings and they'd all get along. Guitar and violin didn't go along very well, but he and Vanya could discuss music and Allison could teach him how to apply eyeliner so he could surprise Klaus by doing his makeup. 

 Now, all the Hargreeves were in the same building as he, but this felt far from a dream come true. 

 At the mention of Ben, Dave lifted his hand in a wave in the direction of the doorway and said, "Hi, Ben." Out of all his siblings, Ben had always sounded like the one Klaus got along with most, which only made his death all the more tragic. Regardless of their relationship while he was alive, now that he wasn't, he seemed to be constantly watching over Klaus, which automatically made him Dave's second favorite Hargreeves. 

For a moment, Dave considered asking for them back. They were invaluable, both because  it'd mean his family would be notified of his death rather than spend the rest of their lives wondering, and because it marked him as Jewish, so hopefully whoever found his body would be a decent human being and give him the proper rites, rather than merely assuming he was Christian and, ugh, cremating him. But, with the way Klaus held on to them so tightly, made Dave think Klaus probably needed them more. 

 "Nah", he said, dragging his gaze from the tags up to Klaus' face. "You wear 'em better." He leaned in, then, to give a brief kiss to Klaus' cheek.

Klaus smiled at the wave, thankful that Dave was so comfortable with the whole I see dead people thing. Klaus hadn’t been able to sober up fully in ‘nam, because of the amount of death. He’d wanted Dave to know so that he understood why being entirely functional wasn’t an option... likely, he would die easily if he had to see the agonising spirits of the fallen soldiers and civilians on the battlefield. 

 And, god, Dave had of course been so understanding. Of his use, but also of his story. He could have thought him crazy, but he didn’t. And Klaus’ love for him grew tenfold. But they were safe now... And Klaus had been flushing his stash away, refusing drinks, and wearing cigarette patches. He’d taken a mild thing here and there out of weakness, but he wasn’t anywhere near as bad as he had been before Vietnam. 

 “I-... Shut up.” He chuckled, his trembling hand finally releasing the tags. He loved them, and he was thankful that he could keep them. Klaus tilted his head so that his lips would meet Dave’s and breathed against them after the short kiss. “Everything is going to be a lot. I-... I’m sorry, I know you’re going to struggle.” He looked at him apologetically. “PTSD, the changes, just being in another time will suck... but I’m here to help you through.” He took his hand with both hands. “I know it was selfish of me, but you were going to die.” He closed his eyes and kissed Dave’s hand.

"What? You do.  The old... ugly,  dirty grey really brings out your... hair." It did, too, or maybe Dave was just head over heels and stupid. He smiled when Klaus turned the cheek kiss into a better one, however, the easy look in his face was taken over by a shadow, a drop of his smile, at the mention of all the shit he was gonna deal with. Dave straightened up a little, free hand coming up to poke at his stitches again. 

 "What's a pee-tee-ass-dee?" he asked, with a small frown. The changes were already so weird, from the little he'd seen, even without including Mrs Grace. The shower, for one thing, and the clothes, for another. So far, he'd only been to the medical room and to Klaus' bedroom, and already he felt overwhelmed. He didn't say anything about Klaus' comment of it being selfish, because he didn't even know what to say. It was too much, far too much to process, and Dave had no idea how he felt about it. Truth be told, he wasn't sure he wanted to find out, either.

Klaus had blushed and grinned at the comment, but he was too busy apologising to give an actual response. He looked up, though, and bit his lip. Right, that term was kinda new.. wasn’t it? What would Dave call it? Beats him. He wasn’t great with history, all he knew was that Dave would have it. 

“PTSD. It’s an acronym for Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder.” He smiled weakly, closing his hands around Dave’s as he spoke. “It’s okay, I got it too. And I’m sure it’s been worsened by the war.. I can help you through that.” He sighed, though. There was so much wrong about the soldier being in this time period. And yet, the idea of returning him to his ranks tore his soul apart. “This time isn’t so bad, you know? You just need a lot of time and some baby steps.” He hesitated to say more, straightening the black skirt he’d been wearing, “And... And if you hate it enough, I can-“ He took a difficult breath, “I can ask Five to take you back.” He got up and brought the glass to his dresser, setting it down and finding a reason not to show his face. He didn’t want to prove his own selfishness. “Are you hungry?”

"Sounds like a complicated name for shell shock", he observed. He remembered his father and the rest of his family, they'd had that. Almost all of them who'd lived in Europe, including his own mother, had that damned diagnostic. She'd wake up screaming hysterically, crying for people long gone, and Dave gave a shudder to even think of suffering the same fate. 

 Oh, how much did it cost of Klaus to offer sending him back to Vietnam, now that Dave saw what he'd done to bring him here? Although he couldn't see his face, Dave knew Klaus well enough to know his heart had to be breaking at the mere idea. For a second, he almost asked for it immediately, wanting, more than anything, to get away from robot people and post-traumatic nonsense, but... what for, really? He hadn't spoken to his family in years, even before he shipped out, because the moment they caught him with another man they disowned him. He'd joined the army because he had nothing left, nowhere to go, and that hadn't changed. 

No, scratch that. That had changed, irrevocably, in ways he hadn't imagined. He had changed. The proof was standing right in front of him, wearing a black skirt and his own dogtags. 

 He knew, immediately, with absolute certainty, that there was no point going back to a time period when the one he was in allowed people like them to get married, to have a future. 

 "Take me back to what?" he asked, reaching out to tangle his fingers with Klaus'. "Everything I have is right here."

“Shell shock! That’s what you call it.” He chuckled, setting his hands onto his hips as he straightened his back and took a deep breath. It’d been 10 months since he’d been kidnapped, and yet it felt like years. Years, because Klaus hadn’t had any intention of coming back. If Dave hadn’t been fatally wounded, Klaus wanted to leave the war with him and make a life for themselves. Meet his family, live happily in a time much more complicated than his own. It didn’t matter where, so long as Dave was there. 

 But he had been fatally wounded. And Klaus had no desire to live in a world where his beloved soldier wasn’t. The travel had sucked, the few days in Grace’s care were worse, and now.. now he was alive, out of danger, but lost. Confused, afraid most likely. And Klaus was to blame. 

This is better than death. 

 He was trying to convince himself when he felt a hand reaching for his, fingers tangling with his own, bringing him back to the present. His green eyes met the other’s, lip caught into unforgiving teeth, as Dave spoke with that same delicious voice he remembered from their nights of hiding to cuddle each other. Soft, kind, and honest. 

 “D-Dave-“ his words caught at the back of his throat, dying before they could reach his lips. He cupped the soldier’s cheek and smiled kindly, then leaned in and pressed his forehead to the blonde’s. “I love you, so much. I promise that it will get better, we can take this slow, ease you into the weirds of my everyday life.” He chuckled softly.

Dave sighed, allowing his eyes to close. There was nothing back home but a war to finish, family that didn't want him and friends long dead, while here he had, for the first time since he was 17, someone who truly loved him and a society that allowed him to marry whoever the hell he wanted and even adopt children with whoever he wanted, white people and people of color could legally frequent the same places, but that didn't make time traveling over forty years into the future any less scary. 

 At least, Klaus was being understanding about how shocking this was. After all, it hadn't been that long ago when their roles had been more or less reversed. It must have been so much more terrifying for Klaus, to be dumped in the middle of a warzone with no one to show him the ropes, to help him acclimate. 

"I don't know what to do", he admitted, all at once, the words more or less strung together. "I mean, I have to get a job, but I didn't have anyone lining up to hire me when I was up to date with the world, there's no way I can get one now, unless I sign up for the army again and I don't wanna do that." Only now that he no longer had to go back to the front lines, did Dave realize how much he'd loathed it, how relieved he was to get that off his shoulders. Besides, Klaus hadn't dragged his ass decades into the future to save him from a war wound, only to have him die from another one. At the thought, he started picking at his stitches once more.

Klaus let himself relax, smiling at the mere thought of being able to make a life for themselves. Maybe he and Dave could get their own place once the other was comfortable in the twenty first century. They could get married one day, have a few dogs and adopt a baby. He surprised himself with all of those gentle domestic thoughts, and chuckled at himself. 

 "You don't have to worry about that right now, Dave." He raised an eyebrow and moved so that he could look into his eyes, pressing his hand to his lover's soft cheek. He was so happy to see him awake and standing. Only a few days ago he wasn't even certain that he would ever see those beautiful eyes open again. 

 "You helped me when I was in a time that made no sense to me, and I'm helping you now. Plus, finding a job here won't be that hard." He pushed the other back down onto the bed, wanting to make sure he rested. "Please never say that again." He frowned and shook his head, ignoring the mere thought of Dave leaving for yet another war. "Look, first we get you back on your feet, then we get you some valid IDs, and then we can talk about you working. Okay? Even I don't have a job and I've lived here all my life." He leaned down and kissed his nose, grinning suddenly. "And I can show you the things that are really cool about this time period."

Logically, Dave knew Klaus was right. He'd nearly died, for God's sake, of course he needed to rest and heal up, before finding the appropriate documentation and then he could look for a job. There was no rush, no bills to pay, no rent to stay on top of, no stupid landlord breathing down his neck. Still, it didn't sit well with him. This was the first time, since he was 17 and alone, that he could take time for himself -- not to mention he didn't want to stay at the mansion forever, not with it belonging to someone else, and holding so many awful memories for Klaus. 

 Not to mention, it would be beyond embarrassing to ask other people for money to buy his basic necessities. 

 "I just don't want to live off of your family money. That's not me." He sighed, allowing himsefl to be pushed onto the bed. "But you're right, I'm getting ahead of myself. I have to slow down and rest." If the distaste in his voice wasn't enough, the grimace that went along with it made it very clear how eager he was to do that. His face broke out in a smile, though, when Klaus kissed his nose. Oh, what a sap. He grabbed Klaus' wrist and gave it a gentle tug. "I'm not staying on this bed unless you're here with me." Taking advantage of the fact he already had a hold on Klaus, he lifted his boyfriend's hand to kiss the back of it. "I have you, and I'm -- I'm scared to death, Klaus. I can't imagine how scared you must've been."

Klaus took a very deep breath when he listened to his precious Dave talk, understanding what he meant though he also did not want to give him the impression that he was using his family's money himself. Klaus was.. kind of lazy, but he would have worked if he was able to be hired. But a man who had overdosed multiple times wasn't likely to get hired anywhere. He knew that Dave would likely hate living here for long, and he figured that he was used to the whole work and pay rent thing, maybe at least through his family. Klaus' father was rich, and so he never witnessed the struggles of making rent. 

 "We won't, I promise. I'm going to get clean, and then I'll apply for a job and you can too. and we can move out of this damned house of hell." He chuckled, pushing Dave's hair out of his face. 

 He stood beside him and grinned, instantly happy with the sudden playful affection he was being given. Dave brought the best out of Klaus, and god did he love that smile. "Fine, I'll lay down next to you." He stuck his tongue out and blushed at the kiss, laying with him and nuzzling his neck. "I... yeah, I was pretty freaked out. The briefcase wasn't working, I tried to leave a few times, I couldn't handle the war." He frowned and pulled him to his chest, "But I was fine, because you were there and you helped me. In the end... I wasn't even planning to leave."

It felt so good to put his arms around Klaus, to hide his face in Klaus' chest, and take a moment to just breathe. In the war, even in the few quiet moments they could steal for themselves, nothing ever really felt peaceful, or safe. At the very best, they'd have the threat of going back into the battle hanging over their heads (at least, that's what it felt like to Dave), giving their little love bubble a bittersweet taste. 

 Here, though, there was no expectation of ever holding a gun again. They could spend the whole day tangled up wtih one another if they wanted, with none of the urgency Dave had so often found himself chasing, adrenaline running through his veins from the fear of getting caught, and the looming threat of more fighting for his life. Just more of these completely normal, peaceful moments of boredom. 

 "Do you mean it?" he asked, so quietly it was barely audible, especially with how it was muffled on Klaus. "About getting clean, I mean." Dave had loved him all this time he wasn't sober, would continue to love him if it carried on the same, but he had to admit it broke his heart to see how badly Klaus craved them, the danger they put him in; hated the hopelessness in Klaus' eyes when he was running out, how they glazed over when he took a hit and he seemed to just... check out. The worst of it had to be, for sure, had to be that first moment as the drugs hit, when Dave would wonder if this was it, this was finally going to be too much and he was going to overdose right there, right in Dave's arms. Still, this was something Klaus had to choose for himself.

Klaus was grinning, laying his head on top of Dave's as they laid there, comfortable on his bed. The blankets were tossed allover, creating a nest for the two of them, and adding to the feeling of comfort and safety that was provided by the closed door and.. well, the time period. No one cared about homosexuality anymore, no one cared about cross-dressers. Well, most people didn't. 

 Klaus ran a hand through Dave's hair and smiled, staring ahead of himself. Back in Vietnam, Klaus would sometimes wonder about what it would be like to take him to 2019, away from the war. But he hadn't expected to have to take him, to save his life. The though had him frown, and he found himself pulling the soldier to his chest protectively. It'd been so close. If his mother hadn't been able to save him- 

 The question caught him by surprise, and he frowned. Did Dave doubt him? Of course he did, it would be crazy if he didn't. Klaus wasn't ever able to risk being sober ever since they met, and he'd asked for his help getting his hands on substances a few times.. Which was probably ridiculously selfish, but he was afraid. Especially in Vietnam, where he would have easily died if he had to be tormented by withdrawal and the ghosts of the countless dead. "Yes." He moved so that he could look into his lover's eyes, frowning softly. "Dave, I mean it. It... It will be hard and I'll fucking hate it but I can do it. In vietnam, there was no way.. Babe, I'd never have survived it. The ghosts, the withdrawal.. not controllable on a damn battlefield. But.. here?" He pressed his lips together and looked around before bringing his gaze to Dave's again. "I know you're afraid of me overdosing. I see the way you watch over me every time, and the sad smiles when I finally get a new stash. And I know that you love me either way, but I-.. You deserve a healthy lover. And I.. I want to be that for you."

For no reason other than getting more skin-on-skin contact, Dave wiggled his hand under Klaus' shirt, until he had his palm splayed out over Klaus' waist, thumb rubbing circles into his skin distractedly. In the battlefield, just because Dave had more or less accepted he liked men, didn't mean he actually wanted to get court martialed, or worse. So these gentle carresses, this distracted petting most couples enjoyed, hadn't really been an option. Until now. 

 Naturally, he planned to make the most of it. 

 Klaus was pulling back, only a little, only enough that they could look at each other the way a conversation this serious required, which was about the only reason Dave let more than one centimeter between them. 

 "I know", he murmured, and admitted, with a shallow laugh, "I could barely handle it, and I didn't have to deal with any poltergeists on top of it." He sighed, letting go of Klaus' waist so he could cup his face. He'd never said it before, but Klaus knew anyway, so he finally confessed, the words breaking out of him like a dam had erupted. "I'm not afraid of it, Klaus -- I'm fucking terrified. But I don't want you to sober up for me, this is something I want you to do for you. And it's something you have to want for yourself. You deserve to be healthy more than I deserve a healthy boyfriend."

Klaus had smiled and shivered at the touch, moving so that he could allow better access and inform Dave that he was enjoying it. He loved the touches, a lot. They hadn’t been able to be openly physically affectionate, before, and Klaus had been fine with it of course.. but he liked this a whole lot more. There was no need to fear someone walking in on them and making their embrace a matter of crime. It was so hard for an openly queer man born in a time of acceptance to control his desires, honestly. 

 Staring into his lover’s eyes had Klaus’ breath caught at the back of his throat for a moment, and he needed to remind himself that the conversation was important. Because it was. 

 “Dave-..” He sighed, closing his eyes for a second which left the former soldier staring at the smokey eyeshadow that Allison had put on Klaus when Dave was asleep. He moved into the hand on his cheek and took a soft, deep breath before he spoke again. “I never could do it for myself before, Dave. I didn’t want to do it. I overdosed, you know? Before.” He opened his eyes and looked at him. “I didn’t care if I died, and I kinda wanted to. But-... But now, I have you and I’m happy.” He grinned, actual joy in his eyes. “I’m so happy. I have reason to be, and to want to tame the monsters.” He frowned, though, as he realised that he meant it. “Can I want to do it for... for us?”

With how much, and how often Klaus used, it was no surprise that he had overdosed at one point in his life. Still, knowing the blow was coming didn't make it any easier to handle. Hearing that confirmation made Dave's chest ache so bad he almost missed the sensation of having shrapnel embbeded into it. It sure as hell was preferable, and he didn't even try to hide it from his face -- because that wasn't him, for one thing; for another, because Klaus deserved, and needed, as much confirmation of how important he was as possible. 

 "That's... that's better than doing it for me", he said, voice coming out strangled through the knot in his throat. "Honestly, you could want to do it for a dog and it'd still be better than using. We just... we just need to find some more things that make you happy. Y'know, so it sticks. We, we could -- we could do pottery? We could join a pottery class. Instead of chips, we can have your 30-day sober ceramic bowl, your two-month sober vase, so it goes. Or, uh. We can pick up gardening? Not a lot, just a couple of... tomato plants? Pepper plants? And you'll take care of them, and then we can use them to cook. I like cooking, but I'm definitely rusty and I never really had the money to make anything elaborate. Oh, I never made you any Jewish dishes, have I? Did you ever eat any Jewish food? It's great. I think I'll need to look at some recipes, the only thing I can make by heart is latkes, but I really want to see you try Gefilte fish." Shit, he was rambling. "Am I rambling? I feel like I'm definitely rambling."

Klaus' face had been serious and nervous as he'd spoken of his use and his desire to drop it entirely, and he had been nervously twirling Dave's tags between his fingers. D. Katz, Jewish, Blood Type-.. Klaus sighed through his nose as his thumb ran over the words. This tag was meant to identify a soldier should they be found dead on the battlefield. 

 He wrapped his hand around it. 

 The rambling had him look up and into Dave's eyes, his lips spreading wide into the biggest grin he had ever given anyone. His eyes were bright, sparkling, and he listened to the world's sweetest words. "You are, and it's the best rambling I've ever heard." He chuckled, lowering his emerald eyes so that he could find his boyfriend's hands and enlace their fingers together. "I would love to take up pottery. That sounds far cooler than chips. We could have a whole set of dishes." He leaned in and kissed his jaw, "Gardening sounds awesome and we better plant an olive tree, we could grow it and carve our names into it." With a soft chuckle, Klaus lied his forehead against Dave's. "I have not taken anything today... You could cook me a one-day jewish meal tonight?" He smiled, pulling the blanket over them.

[creamedspinachoverpoachedeggs]

Which fictional character would you say that you are most like and why?

I would say I am most like Carol Aird. We have so many of the same traits, as well as life experiences.

We both had to deal with being lesbians in less-than-accepting environments; Carol being a woman in the 1950s, being expected to perform her traditional duties as a wife and mother, all the while dealing with a controlling, sexist husband. I grew up in a conservative Christian environment, where the gays were not only not accepted, but condemned to hell. I was expected to get married out of college to a man, have children, and be a housewife. Being gay is the total opposite of everything I was “supposed” to do.

Another thing I think is similar, is both of us having to risk losing the people we love by coming out. Carol stood up to Harge and the lawyers, and risked losing her daughter; while I risked being not accepted (or worse) by my family when I came out (luckily my family has left the church completely, and they are nothing but supportive, accepting, and loving.)

Carol and I also have some of the same traits, such as being a bad-ass with a hard exterior, but having a soft spot for our girlfriends. There’s so many other things, but I’ve already rambled on enough. Thanks for the ask!

Oh…and we’re both tops. 😉

[babyawacs]

@ap @reuters @bbc_whys @france24 @snowden @haaretzcom @fisa  .@law @law @harvar d_law @all @world druggmix ontable and jarmix is hereisno food  but t h a t th ey spoil and poison and drug too e v e r y single t ime e v e r y single meal e v e r y single preparation  e v e r y s i n g l e drinking every single chow time itis their mildest terror for 8yearsor six every single day icantbelieve itis midlsafe a day someone mustbe newthen either kickedtheir ass or they must play how innocent they are again or setup how batshit nuts youare as nothinghap pens destroy gasvalves minors rescue you m u s t prevent that germans use the m or bad things must happen thegermans give em cockroachdrugs or a granny to poi son water w a t e r w a t e r maybe y o u live f rom booze ihave nothing else to drink /// isthe second filter poisoned within an hour today both what a shithole what a s h i t h o l e detox chrystal acid ticket whateveriti s cockroachdrugs findit and jailthepieceof crap thatdidit if a minor did it setup by who why did noone preventit whogave emthestuff dependson the first me ss they efforted thesame again? or someone else? shows someone radio connected to em gives em thestuff until sth happens and wants that i drink unfiltered water ispent 20bucks for a filter that held 1-2days now 1-2 h ours h o u r s after daytiemchargingit publish jarmix in bag idiscardit  sothe sugars spoiled e a c h a n d e v e r y drink p oisoned cockroach drugged yougotused to it that its  sowhat there is nothing else to drink /// lawyers really what s mine is mine is mine is mine it doesnt matter whatthey want? it doesnt mat ter whatthey pretend? it doesnt matter how they quell information and access? whats mine is mine is mine  is m i n e //// that it i s daytime c harged and a c c u r a t e l y so that is whatthey lull publishing it isnt to impressyou? its that e v e n t h e m ! know them youkeep as fools and fraud just as badly that it iiiisn ot safe allalong whilethe system tries sth foryears that its lulled and victimbl amed that it iiiiiiis daytimecharged and a c c u r a t e l y so I am Christian KISS BabyAWACS – Raw Independent Sophistication #THINKTANK + #INTEL #HELLHOLE #BLOG https://www. BabyAWACS.com/ Inquiry@BabyAWACS.com PHONE / FAX +493212 611 34 64 Helpful? Pay. Support. Donnate. paypal.me/ChristianKiss

@ap @reuters @bbc_whys @france24 @snowden @haaretzcom @fisa .@law @law @harvard_law @all @world

druggmix ontable and jarmix is

hereisno food but t h a t they spoil and poison and drug too e v e r y single time e v e r y single meal e v e r y single preparation e v e r y

s

i n g l e

drinking

every single chow time itis their

mildest terror

for 8yearsor six

every single day icantbelieveitis midlsafe…

[thepetepetersonexperience-blog]

sly cooper 100

SLY 100a/n: this is for sly

I andy and this you don't understand me

this is my first story I'm posting on tumblr sly cooper 100                                                                                                                                      SLY 100

a/n: this is for sly 100 and it is my 100 story. this is beautiful and i'm crying becuz i nevah thuggt (which is like thought but thuggin) I'd get to so menny fucking stories. I love you wall but you guys should seriuousyl fucking review my stories moreyeah. FUCK YOU Sly cooper in 100.

"SLY COOPER 100″

"hey sly" "yeah bently" "why did you just say your name and 100 like that like you did that just you did there." "fuck if I know, that's some gay ass shit." "fuck." bently said. sly and bently were playing sly cooper thieves in time for the nintendo 65. it sucked. "nintendo 66 is bettar graphics sly. 100 times better" murry said. "fuck you murry let me play this game of myself bently made for me for our 100 anniversity of when we met each other and "man remembler the hampy camper?" murry screamed as he pooped himself and jizzed because that was funny. 100 times funnier that cod haters. "man fuck you murry. let's look at a clip." sly said like in family guy when they talk about the clips that happen in the story story. "flacsh back." bently and sly said. "this is how we met at the hampy fucking capper." the bently said. "biddly doo biddly doo biddly doo" flashback sounds said. 100 times. it was the hastpy sstamper. sly was crying like a homo cuz his his parentos were dead like mentos (a/n only real men don't cry never ever fucking ever okay? FUCKERS) "FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK my parents are dead." sly siad. "join the fucking club." the main person, a bald fat dude that was like a rhino maybe or some other shit running the place said. he punched sly in the face. "fuck you shitty fuck fuck." sly said, scratching at his balls. "OOOH FUCK SHIT KID THAT HURT." the bald dude got really happy "your fuckign legit. nobody ever fucked wiht me like dat befo." he was black too. "my name patrick." "hi patrick." sly said 100 times. "hi there little boy. what your name?" "fuck you old man I'm leaving this shitty gay place already. i got a fucking cane and shit. FUCK YOU." "hey." "what?" "one fucking rule here shit." patrick said, punching yls in the ribs so they hurted and felt like broken. "fucking don't fuck with me fucker." he said and spat on sly, and rubbed his blood filled wounds on the dirt which hurt him quite a lot really.; ) sly cried and cried and cried until the night kame 100 minutes later. he missed his parents. "fuck this shitty shit fuckery fuckers." sly yelled at the 100 fire ants that crawled awl over him and burned him. then a bee stung him. "AHH I'M ALERGIC TO BEEEEEEEEEESSSS." sly said. 100 bees attacked him. "you guys." sly said as the bees stung him. "100 BEES" sly said. "BZZZ" the 100 bees said. sly got all puffy and could not breathe anymore! he was really scared and wet himself. "i'm really scared." "hey." "yeah?" sly said. "let me fucking help your gay ass." bently said, shooting sly with a needle. the shit went away and all the bees everywhere died. "fuck what was that shit?" sly said. "I feel all bettar." "fuck if I know. FUCK." bently said. "fuck's wrong with you, got fucking tourrets or some shit hehehehehehehehehehehehehehe. "sly said he 100 times. (a/n; like the tourreets guy his vieeos are funny haha he must have like one hunnah videos or some shits) "dane cook is awesome.' bently said. "yeah he is let's whatch dan cock special on telijizzon." sly said much coolerly than he would have if he said television 100 times. they went into the hampy camp and watched the dane cook special 100 times. "hey are your parents dead too?" sly asked. "yeah they got killed in the fucking war." bently said crying. "miss them a fuck lot, shit head." "my parents got killed by a gay ouwl." "fuck." "I know right?" "do you wanna watch this dan cola special again?" "we already watched it like a 100 times so I don't think we should watch it again." "why" "I mean we alraddy watched it a lot." "100 times." "yeah." "okay" "let's go to bed." they went to bed. tehre was a fat fuck on the bed and it wasn't patrick. "this is murry he's retarded." bendly said as he pucked murry all over. "WAHHH WHY?" muruu said. "BLEHHH." sly said. "ahhh!" mrury said. he was really scurred. "HEY YOU FUCKERS OH MY GOOD FUCKING GOLLY WHAT THE SHIT ARE YOU DOING UP THIS FUKCING LATE AHHH WHAT THE FUCK?!!?!?" patrick said as he knocked the door over. "SHIT HOLY SHIT GO TO BED GO TO FUCKIGN BED AHHH WHAT THE FUUUUUUCK!" patricks slaped all of them with a wicker metal pole. he pierced their ears and tied them together, and drugged them into his secret office. he opened the fucking locked safe and the floor opened and there were many gaters in there. and water I think. it was dark so they could see it not very well. "enjoy your FUCKING knight as you sleep with these dangerous critters." patrick said, drulpding them like dumplings into a very bad and dangerous place that was scary and scared them a lot. there were 100 baby alligators and 100 waters. "wha wha wha wha wha what are we gonna do do do?" bently sud. "i don't not not fucking know ok bently? i just don't now ok?" sly said. he was scarred. "harg." murry said. A/N: FOOFIL GWAP!!!! "grate idea murry!" bently said. sly bit the ropesz that tyed him and betnly and sly and murry together and they actually tasted good! THey tasted like beef jerkie. he through murry at the alligarytos and they started to bite murry. a lot. like if you were there you'd see al ot of murrys blood because they were biting the shitting fuck out of him! one even bit him on the balls but that made sly and bently laugh a lot. all in awl, they bit him 100 times. "sly! i do think thoses gater bited murry 100 fucking times!" bently said. "hahaha murry's a fag. i know that now." sly said. murry cried but sly and bentley laughed at him. they went back to theyre room to watch the dane coock special 100 more times. it was funny. very funny actually. "this dane cook special is funny actually." bentley said. "real talk bruh" sly said. "hey sly?" bentley said. "yes?" sly said. "you wanna see something cool?" bentley said. "i dunno. why?" sly said. "i askled you first." bently said. "who me? sly?" sly said. "your the only one in the room r-tard and murry's too gay and retarded for me to show him something this fuckity fuck cool." bentley said. "ok?" sly said. he was confused. "take a looky look at this." bently said. he pulled out a joint. "the fuck is this shit?" sly said. "it's called weed or mairjuwanna. it's good bro try some." bent-lee said. sly lit up a blunt and felt really good because he was high and that is what wheed does, it makes you feel high. and good. "bently bro...im so high.....your name is should be bluntly lol" sly said. "What the Fu-" Sly said as he was grabbed by someone behind him. It was Murry. "Hi Sly. it rhymes." Murry said. "Yes." Sly said. "Sly rhymes with Hi." "you guys wanna play Ultra Thuggn 5000® on the Xbox 360®???" murry murr said. "no you fatass retard. that game is lame. What the fuck? Fuck Mury, it's fucking chinese checkers. This game is lame. Heh heh eh.. it rhymes." sly sly said. "fat fat fatty! murrys a fat fat fattyy fuck fatty!" betgnly said. sly and bently started laffing at murry. like a lot. if you were therte you'd be so annoyed with how much they where laughing because it was lot. "haha" murry said. he was laffing to try and seem like therye bullying wasnt getting to him but deep inside murry was ANGRY. he did a double punch and punched sly and bently right in the fucking face. they fell down. sly falls down. bently felled down too! "my fists are dubble trubble mothrerfuckers! dubble bubble trubble!" murry said. "oh it's on you fat shitcake" sly said. he got up and grabbed murry's balls and put them in a Slap Chopâ„¢. he slapped the chop out of fucking murry's ball sacks. "ARGH HARG GUIRGE>...FUCK YOU SLY." murry said as his balls bled all over the blace. then something bad and not good happened. patrick found out that they escaped his bastardly trappy trap! "You little wobblering fucking cunts." he said. sly, bentlkey and murry started to cry. "how the fuck did you escape the gaters? you motherfuckers i'll kill you all myself. you little bastard fucks are nothing but trubble. i know it. ok?" patrick said (a/n not patrik sars from spungebob) "fuck you patrick, step the fuck out of my face motherfucker or i'm finna put a cap in your rhincoeriys ass." sly said. patrick pushed sly and bently and murry down. "Do you have an understanding of your life? Does not he? ! ! I put some pain in your life son, in some fucking pain. I want to fuck the shit out of you and your boy did not do anything since the first day of trouble. Do you understand it? Do you understand the langauge of shit that I speak? I want to fuck you! Finnish to break my belt, I whip out your fucking shit! Put whipped cream on your back, I whip out your shit! Are you all right? Are you crying? So you need to fucking shit works. To kill you, I kill the dust you're fucking your fucking homo trying to crush your body into dust. 100 seconds worth the pain I will give to you 100 years.You fucking faggots." patrtick screamed loud and loudly at them. bently wnet into his shell because he was really scared. so was sly. like if you were there and someone scary like patrick was yelling at you would you be scared? i fucking know i would. sly kicked bently who was in his shell over to patrick and hit him in the fuckin foot. "OW FUCK." he said. he fell back because sly just lunched bently at his foot and it hurt him a lot. he fell out the window and fell a lot and landed on the grass hard. 100 fire ants, 100 bees, 100 giraffes and 100 wolfs all attacked him! and they all had 100% rabies. "AH NO PLEASE I DON'T FUCKING WANTED TO DIE THIS WAY." Patrick screemed as the rabie animals ripped him to shred. there was blood and shit and a blody carc-ass all over the floor and the ground. patrick was fuckiond dead. "i'm happy patrick's dead." bently said. he came out of his shell. "yeah me too." sly said. "and me." murry said. "SHUT THE FUCK UP MURRY." sly said. he had a really fucking devious look on his face. "guys i think we should be criminals. it is our calling in our lives to steal shit and bad!" sly said. by bad sly meant bad in a cool way not bad like in the way that they'd fucking suck or some shit. "yeah that sounds like fun. a lot of run fun really." bentley said. flashbork over. "FUCK" murry yelled suddently "DAMN IT SHIT WHAT THE FUCK" sly said. he was really scared because they were all chille before. "sorry that story made me pissed. I have to hang out with you assholes now cuz of that shit." "the doors fucking right there pal, go the fuck out if you're gonna be a lil' bitch. we gonna call you lil' bitch from now on capeesh?" sly said like a new york bostin guy. "fune fickers shit the feck outta heeyeeh" murry said. "Ojay." sly said. "WHANT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST SAY!?!??" MURRY SAID. "I said ojay it's better than okay." sly said. "Okay." "NO!!!!!!!! YOU FUCKING SHIT!!! IT'S OJAY!!!!!" sly said. "AAAAAAAAAAARHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!NNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Murry said. Murrys eys turned blood red. He grabbed the game disk and ran out smashing out a window. "good fucking riddance." sly said. "shit sly you think he's gonna try anad kill us?" "over my dead ass he is. FUCK HIM." "remember the time we tried to steal shit the first time?" "you mean the time we robbed the poop festival?" sly said. (a/n remember to do this story it funny) "no the time we were first like fucking criminals or shit." bentles said. "oh" "do you want to do a flashback of that?" "fuck bently what are we gonna do flashbacks 100 times or something?" "100 times?" "yeah" "I don't know that seems like a lot of flashbacks" "I know that's why I said it. it's a big number." "100 times seems like a lot" "it is" "maybe we shouldn't do flashbacks 100 times" "maybe we shouldn't." "I think we shouldn't do flashbacks 100 times" "ok" "yeah" "so what do you want to talk about?" "remember the time we tried to steal shit the first time?" "you mean the time we robbed the poop festival?" sly said. "no the time we were first like fucking criminals or shit." bentles said. "oh" "do you want to do a flashback of that?" "fine whatever" "biddly doo biddly doo biddly doo" flashback sounds said. 100 times. sly did a triple helix back fucking flump and landed on his ass. he still sucked at theifing shit so he fucked it up really badly. he talked on his fucking dial up shitty walkie fucking reh-SEE-verr because fuck it was the olden times or some gay as fucking fucking fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck shit damn ass drumpin flump. "shit" sly said into the walkie "sly what the shit are you fucked up and high? are you smoking crack? are you fucked up 100 ways from tomorrow?" bently said. "no bently I just forgot what we're stealing and where we are and when we are." "it is night time and you are stealing from this video game museum. we be robbing nintendo, microsott, sonny, all that shit." bentarly said literally. "oh" "so maybe you should go steal this video games or something 100 times." "I gotta take a dump first." sly said. he went to go poop in a toilette before he would need a moist towelett to clean his pants. fucking carmelita was hanging around the front of the bathrooms. "who the fuck are you some kind of pervert?" sly said quietly but and to himself so she wouldn't hear him but she did. she got really scared and ran away. sly went to the toilet and sat down and did number 2 100 times. he got up and washed his hands 100 times. then he saw a see ling skware move. he saw cankaleamgia hanging around up there. "fuck you are a pervert you fucking pervert. maybe you should be a cop instead of a pervert." sly said. "fuck that's a good idear." carmeiliat says as she jumps away. "shit" sly said as he rememerd what he did. "i took a shit." sly ran to the video games and stole some of them. he made sure to only get cool games. there was a geekazoid loser with a glow stick uniform doing sekuritee. sly punched him in the dick and ran away. "ahhh fucker." the guy said. the guy's name was a big fucking surprise, it was barack obama back when he was a nerd. flashback over. "fuck that was obama." sly said. "I fucking punched obama in the dick." "cool" "yeah" "maybe we should go do something" "maybe we should" "let's get ice cream and then go to the shopping mall to by supplys sly." "ok" they got in the van. they went to the mall. they got ice cream. it was good. "sly this ice cream is scrimply tastey i do say so myself as i am bently." bently said. "bently shut the fuck up and enjoy the ice cream because it is fucking good." sly said. "what kind of flayvor did you get?" betnyl siad. "100% chocklate." sly said. he wasn't kidding like it was no joke. even the Spüüne was made out of chocolate! "nice." bently said. he liked the spoon or spune or Spüüne "what did you get." sly said. "dubble bannana 100 budge fudge." betnly said with a big smile on his fucking face. "i like ice cream" sly said licking his chops. "yum yum yum" "Indeed it is very yummy" bentradely said. "yum!" sly said. he ate the ice cream. "did you know that ice cream is really really good?" bently said. "yeah." sly said. "it is." bently said. "i know, you didn't need to fucking tlel me that ice cream's good becuz is fucking is ok?" saly said. "i know, but i just like it alot." bently said. "i know me too." sly said. "i know how you feel about ice cream because i feel the same way," bently said "we feel good about our ice cream." sly said. "yes indeeder we do." bently said. "we feel really fucking good aobut it." sly said. "yes because ice cream is really good." bently said. " i bet murry wishes he could stuff his fat fucking face with this ice cream?" bent;ly said. "whos murry?" sly said. "you know the fat gay retarded hippo that follows us around." bently said. "oh you mean lil' bitch. fuck him, he's not  good enough for ice cream because ice cream is good." sly said. "indeeder that it is sly." "yeah" sly said. "ice cream is yummly." bently said. "but murry is a fagtard and a redneck motherfucking piece of shit." sly said. "i agree with you on that one." bently said. "but you also agree with me about ice cream." "yeah i do sly." bently said. "i bet ice cream gives murry gas." sly said. "yeah" bently said. they laughed at sly's funny joke. "oh my head hurts. i ate my ice cream 100 times too fast and now i have BREAIN FREEEZE!" sly siad. "AH ME TOO IT UFCKING HURTS. IT HURTS! AHHH" bently said. they screamed until the pain went away and it hurt a lot. have you ever gotten brain freeze before? i get it a lot when i eat ice cream and i do the same thing sly and bently do, i scream for my cream, my ice cream! they finished their ice cream. they were happy because it was good ice cream and not bad ice cream. "fuck we gotta buy supply but we spended too much money on ice cream!" bently said. "you know what that means!" sly said. "WE GOTTA STEAL!" sly and bently said at the same time. "STEAL SOME SHIT" sly said. "SHIT WE GONNA STEAL." bently said. everyone looked at them funny. "whant supllies do we neeeeed?!" sly said. "we need some grappelling hooks and some wire. 100 times what we use unusally." bently said. "how much would that cost if we didn't eat the iced creamiscles?" sly said. "about 100 dollars." bently said. "nice!" sly said. "but that ice cream was really good." bently said. "worth the money i know, we must've spent 100 dollars on ice cream." sly said. "right?" bently said. "shit was so cash." sly said. "cash with some ass." bently said very slowly. "ass." sly said. "cash." bently said. "ass cash ash ass cash" sly said. "cash ass ash cash ass." bently said. "ASS CASH!" they saided at the saime time. "100" sly said. "ok time to steal." bently said. they went to the thieving goods store at the mall. seriously those exist, google it dude. "ok bently i got a pro thieving idea that's ultra fucking devious and theivoes. 100 % fucking devious." sly said. "ok you got this shit sly" bently said. "i got this because ima spicey meat-a-ball!" sly said in a cool voice. he went into the store which was called THIEVES R US© they had a lot of theifing stuff in there. sly went up to the place where the grapplinger hooks and wire were and just put a shit ton in his bag. then something bad happned. "WHAT WHAT WHAT WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" a mall cop said. "oh shitting fuck nuggets" sly said. they ran away, they came back to the mall once the mall copz were gone. they went to get 100 times more ice cream adnd then they went to the shopping mall to buy supplyes for sly. "Hey SLY?" bently said. "Yes?" sly said. "Do you want to want to make some fucking ice cheddar cheese nachos cream burritos?" bently said. "Yes?" sly said. "LET'S MAKE THAT FUCKING ICE cheddar cheese nachos cream burritos!!!!" bently said. "Yeseser." sly said. they went into home and into their place to the kictchen. they put ice cheddar cheese nachos cream burritos into a ice cheddar cheese nachos cream burritos container. they made it and squeezed it from a icing tube it into a bowel. they ate it with licking it. it was tasting goodlicious. "MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" sly said. "THIS ICE cheddar cheese nachos cream burritos IS FUCKING GOOD!!! WE FUCING ATE IT IT!!!!" bently said. they had like 100 cheddar cheese nachos cream burritos. then they got bored. "fuck now what" sly siad. "fucking bored now" "fuck so am i" "fuuuuuuuuuuckles." "shit bricks, let's go rob some shiz with these surplies, or try to mess with cazremeltiua " sly said making funny face. "fuck okay just don't whip your dick out and try to have sex with her or perhaps she'll pull the legal lever to making hunting coopers legalized." "aiight. fuck." sly siad mad because that was his plorn. "Will you quit saying fuck?" "FUCK!! Fuck." bently said."...fuck..." "sly stepped on his foot...hard. "FUCK!! Fuck." bently said. "STOP SAYING FUCK!!!" SLy said. "it's totes my thing tos ay fuck plus you said it like 100 times" "FUCK YOU!!!" bently said in a plerb accent. sly promptly carefully reached into bently's shell carefully and grabbed his tiny turtle balls. "OOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!" "Look Buffalo Bitchcake, if you say the word "fuck" one more time i will crush these puny blueberries you call racoon testicles and you can't have sexual intercouse with penlpe or even masturbate good. you said it 100 times okay" "I'm sorry..." bently said as tears coursed down his face and hit his balls 100 times. The tears started to burn, causing steam to rise. "Oh God!" bently screamed as sly began to twist his steaming nuts. "Now lets' find carmelia." sly began to leave. "Um Sly." "What?" "Could you let go of my balls, please?" "oops, sorry buddy." sly let go. Sly and Bently climbed into the shiny smooth Cooper van. "Sly. My balls are killing me." bently said as he massaged his area. "Sorry. You shoulda stopped saying the f word. you said it like a hundred times." sly said. "fuck." "I guess. It's just..." bently stopped talking. "It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just.. my balls hurt really really really bad." bently said 100 times. "Just stop swearing." sly said, combing his stupid fucking haircut so carmfarmbelarmblita would think he was legit. it like an affrooo. "OK." benly said. "i'm gonna fucking murder you and everyone else if you ever fucking do that again you motherfucker. I'll build a goddamn nuke to kill ever living beeng. so go fuck yourself and never touch my sack again fucker, I will fucking end you and everything you hold dear." "ok" sly said."You wanna grab something to eat." "k." 'tly said."where the FUCK do you want to eat?" "How about Mickey dees, Ba-ba-bah-ba-ba. I'm lovin' it." bento struck sylverster (that's his full fucking name alright? don't fukin pretend it's not scrub, it fucking is, it's fucking slyvester okay.) with a frying pan. "DON'T YOU EVER SAY THAT AGAIN!!!! YOU HEAR ME!!!!" BENT-LY SCREAMED. "get bent" sly said. "hehehe" "hahahaha" "hahahaha" "good one" "I kno. let's go to Quizno's insted." sly said. "Sounds good to me." They pulled into the Quizno's/" "Yeah, I'd like one hundred Quiznos, a hundred cups of coffe, exrta syrup and sugar. 100 peeses of sugar and syrup." Sly said to the waiter. "I WANT NOTHING!! Bently screamed. The waiter flipped off benlty and ran away. "That waiter looks familar ;and fucking shit. FUCK." "Go to hell, you coconut sodomizing BITCH." Sly yelled at the waiter. "WAIT!...IT IS MUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!" "Guys?" Murry said. He ran over, flipped the table over and tackled Bently. "WWWWWWWWWWWHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHYYYYYYYYY?!?!?!" Murry said. He began jump on bently's gut 100 times. "NNNOOOOO!! Murry You suck! HA HAHA hA hA hA HA ha HAHA HAHA hA hA hA HA ha HAHA HAHA hA hA hA HA ha HA!" Bentley said as he tried to laugh to ease the pain but it turned his tears to blood and jizz. Sly came to the rescue just in time with a fork and lodged it deep into murry's back, like fuck it was so deep you'd be really surprised and all grossed out and shit if you saw it, for fucking realsies. "OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWOWOWOWOWOW!!!!!!!!! murry screeched 100 times. "Cat got your tongue?" Sly said as pulled murrys tongue our and he dumped 100 hot sauces on murry's tongue. "ENOUGH!" Murry overpowered sly and pushed him into some old people. they died. they were patrick's parents and they were really happy to be dead because they hoped they could go to hell to be with their son patrick in hell. "First, I Will Be serving some apetizers!" Murry said as he punched Sly in the face,"Then the first course" Another punch."Then the second." Yet another punch."Then the third!!!!" Sly was now currently a bloody racoon. He tried to crawl away. But murry grabbed his nuts. "Murry got your balls?" Murry said as he dragged sly's sac over to the grill stove. "For 100 time's sake, Murry." sly begged. "PLEASE DON'T!!!! "Maybe you should've thought about wearing pants." murry said. but then something wierd happnd. penelope showed up. "holy shit." sly said. "what" penpy said. "you never fucking show up you shitty fucking nerd." bently said. "if penpy saiz one fucking word." murry said. "one more and I'll rip sly's balls off." "fuck." sly said. "don't fucking say shit penpie. OKAY? I kno you're a chick so chick's like to fuckin talk all the god dam time but SHIT this once, my balls are on the fucking line, or should I say in a fat gay hippo's strongly grap!" "CRAP!" bently said. he knew pembly couldn't fucking do it. she was a woman after all. "HOLD IT RIGHT THERE MOTHERFUCKERS" carmelita said. she wuz disguyzed as a chair. "ho shit hehehehe" sly said, obvosly checking her ass out 100 times. "hehehehe" "FUCK YOU CARMELITA. I FUCKING NEW U WER THERE OKAY?" murry said, throwing 100 tiles from the grownd at her. "i'm sick of your ficking bullshnit cunting shit fuck fuck fucking fuckery where you fucking come in fucking shit up and shit, fuck you, fuck you, and fuck YOU." murry started punching carmelita 100 times and sly was too scared to do nothin. she was nearly dead when she fell over. "oh fuck carmelita may be dead." penplo said. sly started crying more because murry was sure to rip off his balls now. "oh shit hehehe" murry said. "now I get to rippy rippy." "or do you?" someone misterious said from the fromt of kwissnose. it was....DEMETRI!!?!?!?!?!? "Demeatree???!" sly said. "dametri? fuck demetri, you're gay you fuck fucking 100 times fucking cunt!" murry said. he went outside. he picked up a car he threw it at demetri. demetri was dead! "No!" sly said. "i'll save you bently" pepy said. "pepsi no!" bently said. murry thought she was a drink so he drunk her. "no she dead no." bently said 100 times. "lol." sly said out loud laughing. then murry grabbesd sly's fucking balls harder. carmeliat got really sad. "i don't want sly balls die." she jumped at fuckin murry but sumthin fuckin weird fucking happnd. "I don't feel good." carmelita said then melted. a death ray laser from outside had crashed into her and she died! "NO FUCK HOLY SHIT WHAT THE FUCKING NO NO NONOONONONO" sly said. "she's dead sly, ok she's dead. deal with it." bently said, taking his glasses off and breaking them to sho how for real he is. "no fucker you fucker..." sly said, cursing murry to death 100 times in his souls. "ha ha fucking ha." murry said, as his mech suit (which look like a gundam mixed with a school bus so it was super fucking legit). he got in his mech suit that ripped the roof off (remember to fix the other part A/N) and flew away. "meet me at london at big ben the big clock tower if you want to end this." murry left, and his ship was flying away with gayness. "fuck sly, good thing I built you a giant mech suit just in case this happened." he pushed a baton and then a giant mech suit shaped like sly but like a transformer, like the new movie transformers, not the old transformers, the new movie ones okay? but anyways sly got in and bently strapped himself to it, they flew away, burning up quiznos and penelpys and carmolitas bodays. "we cremate them" bently said as he cry. "yeah bently we did, we did good. now we kill the fucker once and for all." "sly I got something to say." "ok" "if we don't make it i have a solution. we gotta fucking do it. just say cheese when we're done." "ok sure bently whatever." sly was actually pretty bored now. they flew to big ben and murry was flying. "HEY FUCKO" murry said loudly and oncely. "what is it why did you keel them." sly said. "fuck you." "man I could be palying video games " sly said, firing a hundred rockets at muhwey. "uhhh" murry said taking a dump in his robot. "haha now I will win." sly said he was reading macks ihm may gah zeen. but murry was ready. he fired a murry laser from the canon and shoted sly. "AHHH NO" bently said as he died when the leg part he was strapped to fell off and blew up forever. "ahh damn." sly said. he wanted to cry another tear, but no more tears would come anymore forever. "100 times damn you sly cooper." murry said, firing more rockerts. sly started to fell to the ground. "man this is my fucked up life." sly think. "I fucked up everything, and everyone I love is dead, how will I go now that I crash into this burning robot suit to the ground by big ben, I hope I don't fall on any bad tooth british faggots. fuck the british." "hey" bently's ghost said. "say cheese" "bently! why you here you like the force or something?" "no this just a hologramp." bentrometer said. he wasn't really a ghost i lied okay. "what do I dooo everything so shitty and I'm dyin." "fuck sly this is what you gotta do. say fucking cheese. then it will activate the back up platn. then you can defeat murry. then after he's dead push the bright fucking button with a dick on it." "ok" sly said. "cheese" "and sly" "yeah?" "fucking rape him for me, okay?" bently said as he flew away into the internet. sly pushed a new button and THEN SHIT WENT DOWN. new legs came out of the robot like ketulu, and then robot tentacles turned into regular robot arms. a fuckton of missles hit murry's robot and he crashed to the ground. sly flew the robot down behond murrey's which was all on fours. "hey fucker, this is for killing patrick." sly said as he activated rape mode and his robot raped murry's robat. "ahh OOH nOOO" murry said as his robot exploded and he fell out. a bunch of gay british people found him and raped him too and he died. "now what. oh yeah that button" sly said. he pushed the dick button and time exploded. "FUCK TIME IS GOING AWAYYYY" he woke up on da balcony. carmelita walked out. to be continued in thieves in time. 

[kywatchesmovies]

Watching Carol

Watching carol for the first time

Why is she crying on the train??

44:31 ahhhhh bitch of course she’ll forgive you ur so sexy

Honestly Carol is the smoothest bitch ever and Therese is weakkkkk how can she resist her

Cate is so amazing her hand was shaking while she was on the phone like she should have won that Oscar hands down

THIS MOVIE IS GONNA RUIN ME TF

“Ask me things please” bitchhhhhh I’m ded my poor gay heart can’t handle this shit

BRUH FUCK HARGE bro that’s some petty ass shot like honestly why does he even want someone who doesn’t want him like dude that’s her kid it’s not some negotiation or revenge tactic

This Richard dude needs to fuck off tbh I’m ready for my girls to be together

Sarah and Cate before oceans 8 is honestly so great and all of that rhymed because that’s how good it is when they are on screen together

Aw carol is nervous that’s so cute

Aw my poor baby is crying 😭

YES THEY GOIN TOGETHER

Stfu Richard

Everyone has a crush on her she’s gorgeous

My adorable gay babies at the cafe 😭😭😍

Stoppppp she covered her

YESS BABE YOU TELL HIMMMM

Lmaoo my baby gay smelling her clothes

🤤🤤

Bed sharing trope anyone?

Ew tom is annoying

I’m gonna cry omg

HAROLD

My poor little gay heart can’t handle this 😭😳

That was gorgeously done

NOOOO WHAT A SOB

JUST LET MY BABIES LIVE HAPPILY

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO STOPPPPPP

I did not sign up for this bs no way

But there is still 30 mins left so there’s still hope

Okay just shatter my heart Therese

😭

I don’t know why I’m doin this to my self like honestly just rip my heart out of my chest I don’t want my babies to hurt anymore

Plz just give her rindy

She deserved an Oscar

MY BABY CAROL IS SO STRONG AND I LOVE HER SO MUCH SHE DESERVES BETTER

Therese she loves you so much plz meet her

Yessssssssss

Oh no don’t do this plz

SHE SAID IT 😭

Wow what inconvenient timing

ASFSGDJKSHD

The view across the room

👀👀

So this movie ripped my heart into a million pieces and I might never be the same again

[shadowladyadriennewalkerworld]

nope cant even pretend bitch die or imma make you so what who I made kill theyself aint no sorry yaw will die I aint never been no obahma supporter bitch come make me shut the fuck up and botch I don't give a fuck what they facebook victor massey how many of my charges did you pay off bitch I had 6 of em hoe a mastercad from iupui a 500 dollar visa etc fucking dumb somebitches understand yaw are still facing harges that's credit hacking hoe and bitch Charles wasn't in the picture and dumb ass Shannon Hamilton I never used yours or the ones bridgetts mom got for me fucking dummies I had a buckle I has ls aryers I had zales I had tRGET I HAD MACYS BITCH YAWSO WE KNNOW Adrienne three of em in good standing hoes yes dumb asses which mmeans they were never used dummies

[news-mashable-yahoopartner-blog]

What the most successful people do, according to this meme

It seems like everyone on Twitter has an opinion about what makes a person successful. 

Last week, Twitter user @APompliano tweeted a list of things he believes "the most successful people" do. It's a pretty vague bunch of descriptors —  successful people "have laser focus" and "build incredible teams," he claims. 

Apparently, successful people and the protagonists of Disney movies have something in common: They "believe in themselves." Sure.

The most successful people I've met: 1. Read constantly 2. Workout daily 3. Are innately curious 4. Have laser focus 5. Believe in themselves 6. Build incredible teams 7. Admit they know very little 8. Constantly work to improve 9. Demand excellence in everything they do

— Pomp 🌪 (@APompliano) June 10, 2018

But if @APompliano — or "Pomp" as he apparently goes by — should know anything about successful people, it's that no level of success can protect you from becoming a meme. Twitter users don't like being told what they should and shouldn't do — remember the "by age 35" meme? 

SEE ALSO: You'll enjoy the 'by age 35' meme even if you have nothing saved for retirement

In the week since Pomp's original tweet, Twitter users have offered their own takes on what makes a successful person.

The most successful people I've ever met: 1. eat three square meals a day 2. wake up at 4AM, VERY READY TO GO 3. are very demanding with their time 4. nap throughout the day 5. are extremely affectionate and loving 6. are cats 7. i'm talking about my cats https://t.co/DX2Md2R8Q4

— Elizabeth M. (@_ElizabethMay) June 16, 2018

The most successful people I've met 1. Drink a whisky drink 2. Drink a vodka drink 3. Drink a lager drink 4. Drink a cider drink 5. Sing some songs that remind them of the good times 6. Sing some songs that remind them of the better times 7. Get knocked down 8. Get back up again https://t.co/J0RoVaPYgX

— Kelly Cates (@KellyCates) June 14, 2018

Who's more successful than brilliant scientist/temporary Empress Yzma from The Emperor's New Groove? 

The most successful people I've met: 1. Turned him into a flea 2. A harmless little flea 3. Then put that flea in a box 4. Then put that box inside of another box 5. Then mailed that box to thenselves 6. And when it arrived they sMASHED IT WITH A HAMMER https://t.co/PIMYh2pBaq

— Daragh (@DaraghQuinn) June 18, 2018

Or Carol, from Carol?

the most successful people i’ve met: 1. put others first 2. dress for success 3. collect vinyl 4. don’t believe in accidents 5. treat service industry workers well 6. will have the creamed spinach 7. should have said, “Therese, wait” 8. are not ugly people, Harge 9. like the hat https://t.co/MdvYjlMjY4

— Netflix Film (@NetflixFilm) June 14, 2018

Some, like Twitter user @NMamatas, pointed out that many financially successful people come from a privileged upbringing.  

The most successful people I've met: 1. Have well-connected parents 2. Who are also wealthy 3. And work in a related field 4. But have a different surname 5. Which allowed my successful acquaintances to "come out of nowhere" 6. Because that's a feature hook 7. Easily arranged https://t.co/KD7WqNroFD

— Nick Ban Nazis Mamatas 🤼‍♂️🏴 (@NMamatas) June 15, 2018

Or, as @DavidKlion brought up, are baby boomers who started their careers with fewer obstacles than Gen X'ers and Millennials did. 

The most successful people I've met: 1. Were born between 1945-1960 2. Are white 3. Received debt-free higher educations 4. Have always counted on having publicly/lavishly subsidized retirements and health care 5. Own homes worth 10x what they paid for them 6. Have had "careers" https://t.co/OSGBOCIHhf

— David Klion 🔥 (@DavidKlion) June 16, 2018

Even a Jesus Christ stan account had its own take.

The most successful people I've met: 1. Repent 2. Sell all they have and give to the poor 3. Become like children 4. Love God with all their heart & love neighbors as themselves 5. Love their enemies 6. Emptied themselves & served others 7. Picked up their cross https://t.co/0K4cZV4bci

— Jesus Christ (@JesusOfNaz316) June 15, 2018

And as with any Twitter meme — from gorls to bible verses to the gay/straight/bi meme — it always comes down to song lyrics. 

The most successful people I've met: 1. Don't fuck with 2. You 3. You little stupid ass bitch 4. I ain't fucking with you 5. You little dumb ass bitch 6. I ain't fucking with you 7. I got a million trillion things 8. I'd rather fucking do 9. Than to be fucking with you https://t.co/J92g7if7Ur

— Lindsay Ellis 🕷🍆 (@thelindsayellis) June 14, 2018

The most successful people I've met: 1. Poopity Scoop 2. Scoop diddly whoop 3. Poopity Scoopity 4. Scoopity Whooop 5. Poop poop 6. Whoop diddly scoop, poop 7. Build incredible teams https://t.co/mEoF7PAsJf

— jon (@jondaly) June 16, 2018

The most successful people I've met: 1. can make folks cry when they play and sing 2. have paid their dues 3. can moan the blues 4. know how to bend them guitar strings 5. can make folks feel what they feel inside 6. are not afraid of long hard rides https://t.co/G2PRk573y8

— Tater Tots and Cow Twats (@TheDailyCowman) June 18, 2018

The most successful people I've met: 1. Consider the coconut 2. Consider its tree 3. Use each part of the coconut, that’s all they need 4. Make their nets from the fibers 5. Use the leaves to build fires 6. Cook up the meat inside

— OhNoSheTwitnt 🌈 (@OhNoSheTwitnt) June 18, 2018

The most successful people I've met: 1. Wake up 2. Grab a brush and put a little makeup 3. Hide the scars to fade away the shakeup 4. Leave the keys upon the table 5. Create another fable 6. Wanted to https://t.co/PUGNw7j1Dk

— Gav (@miracleofsound) June 17, 2018

The most successful people I've met: 1. Have a mansion, forget the price 2. Never been there, told it's nice 3. Live in hotels, tear out the walls 4. Have accountants pay for it all 5. Have a limo, ride in the back 6. Lock the doors in case they're attacked https://t.co/3s4WI80uRY

— Liz (@noiseandlight) June 16, 2018

No Twitter meme wouldn't be complete without a reference to The Killers' "Mr. Brightside." 

The most successful people I've met: 1. Wake up early 2. Believe in themselves 3. Know it was only a kiss 4. Are falling asleep 5. And she's calling a cab 6. While he's having a smoke 7. And she's taking a drag 8. Now they're going to bed 9. And m https://t.co/OzNWEu70sk

— Kimball Alt Account Factory (@deleteuraccont) June 15, 2018

Yikes. 

I'm an archivist. The most successful people I've met are all dead.

— Rebecca (@DerangeDescribe) June 16, 2018

Sometimes you have to ask yourself: Did this meme go too far?

ðə moʊst səksɛsfʊɫ pipɫ aɪv mɛtː 1. kæn ɹid ði aɪ pi eɪ 2. ðæts ɪt 3. aɪ dʒʌst wɑnt ɛvɹiwʌn tu noʊ ði aɪ pieɪ 4. daʊn wɪθ bæd tɹænskɹɪpʃən sɪstəmz

— Gretchen McCulloch (@GretchenAMcC) June 18, 2018

Keep the advice coming, Twitter.

WATCH: Screen name confessions: Our most cringe-worthy online handles

[fitdesignldn]

Bad Ass Web designer Tips for Noobs

*Pricing your design work right is one of the hardest things a freelancer has to do.

I really struggle in my freelance web design career to cahrge a fair price.

So be confident, believe in your skills and charge whatever you feel will make you and your customer happy :D 

If you have put a lot of effort in aproject, changed it few times because the customer was picky and invested a lot of time - here is a tip - Harge him extra :D

*Start using online tools, applications and software that will help your website’s SEO and conversion rate.

*Use Images that grab attention

*Start an email marketing campaign

*Read and develop your skills rather than playing League of Legends :D

[amerrierworld]

Playtime

Carol (2015) - oneshot

For anon

Summary: Carol is stressed, Therese wants to help.

Characters: Carol x Therese

Word Count: 2,439

Warnings: SUPER NSFW. bottom!Carol with use of strap-ons! You’ve been warned.

“Agh! God damnit!”

Therese jolted, looking up from her book to see her girlfriend bustle about the apartment, stressed.

“Carol?”

“Not now, angel. I’ve got to get going,” Carol said hastily, grabbing one of Therese’s purses without realizing it and shoving in her things.

“Where?”

“I’ve got to pick up Rindy. Harge was supposed to -the bastard- but he just texted me he needs to be in the office for some last-minute meeting. As if business is more important than our daughter.”

“So you’re dropping Rinds off at Harge’s... and then you’re coming back?”

“No, Abby needs me at the shop right after. There was a filing mistake with an order going out tomorrow done by the new kid we hired. We have to get it done, I don’t know how long it’ll be until I get home.”

“Alright,” Therese said in her usual agreeable tone. Carol was preoccupied, muttering about her keys or wallet or something, and didn’t notice Therese shuffling over from the couch to her. She was sitting on the small seat by the door, frowning at the floor and smashing her feet in her shoes.

Therese silently appeared in front of her and tilted Carol’s head up with a finger to look at her, where she met stormy blue eyes.

“Hey you, still with me?” Therese asked playfully. Carol couldn’t see her lover past her own thoughts for a moment, but then the green eyes returned to her and she sighed with a weak smile.

“Of course, angel. I’m sorry, don’t wait up for me,” Carol muttered. Therese chuckled.

“Nonsense. I always do.”

The brunette leaned down, towering over Carol, and kissing her slowly and softly for a moment. Carol’s shoulders eased, and her fingers grasped Therese’s arm.

Therese pulled away, proud of herself for making Carol look so dazed, before she said,

“Promise me you’ll drive safe?”

Carol nodded and stood up with a regained energy, kissed Therese again, and  then hurried out the door. The brunette watched her go, mildly amused at the crazy curls in her hair and the lack of effort put in her outfit; so unlike Carol. She decided she would wait up for her, with a surprise to maybe ease her stress.

-

When Carol got home, her feet were killing her. She’d been impatiently waiting for Harge to get home so Rindy wouldn’t be alone and gotten late to the shop, then was lectured by Abby and then wracked her brain over the job that she thought she knew how to do.

It was nearing 11pm and she assumed Therese was probably sleeping. She always said she would stay awake, but often Carol found her tuckered out on the couch, the TV still on. 

Surprisingly, the house was entirely dark when she got there. She made her way in the darkness, staying quiet as to not waken Therese who was surely sleeping in their bed. 

As she opened the bedroom door, however, she was met with a surprising sight. Therese sat at the foot of the bed, legs stretched out in front of her, wearing a thin, dark green silk robe. Her hair was down and she looked wide awake. 

“Therese?” Carol asked, startled.

“Hi, Carol. How was work?” she was feigning innocence, while Carol’s eyes were immediately drawn to the smooth, soft legs that were exposed in the dim yellow light of their bedroom. 

“Uh, fine?” 

Therese smirked. Usually their roles were switched; Carol in control, orderly and immaculate, while Therese was usually the one flustered, out of control, trying to focus. 

“Angel, what’s all this?” 

“I told you; I was going to wait up for you,” Therese smirked as Carol cautiously closed the door behind her. 

“Yes but this is a lot more than just... waiting up.”

“Oh, obviously.” Therese stood up and walked closer to Carol, green eyes smouldering. “I wanted to give you a little more attention... and maybe play with some more toys? If you’re up for it. We haven’t played with them in such a long time, don’t you think?”

Carol felt heat rush from her face all the way down to the pit of her stomach, settling in a lava-like consistency, slow and rumbling. 

“I- well, I mean, I don’t know-”

Therese blinked, seeing that she overstepped, and her gaze fell to the floor.

“Of course, we don’t have to do anything if you don’t want to, Carol. I just thought- well you were so stressed and tired, maybe this would help.”

Carol reached for Therese’s hands, holding them gingerly.

“Oh, no. No no, angel. It’s not that, never that. I’d love to- but I don’t know if I have any strength tonight to... play with anything. I’m so exhausted.”

Therese frowned a little before her face split into a grin.

“Oh, but, baby, don’t you get it? You wouldn’t be the one playing... I wanted to play with you.”

Therese undid the ties of her robe, revealing a sheer, black lace bra that set something ablaze inside Carol. She then pulled Carol’s hands to hook around her waist, pushing the robe far enough to the sides to reveal a thick, black strap-on harnessed proudly at the junction of Therese’s milky thighs. 

Carol’s mouth went dry and her brunette love pushed up on her toes to kiss Carol’s jawline.

“Only if you’re up for it, Ms. Ross,” Therese rumbled seductively, her deft fingers working at the button on Carol’s jeans. 

She pulled back to glance at Carol’s dazed look, not unlike the one from before and the blonde groaned softly as Therese smoothed her hands over her abdomen.

“Yes... yes, please,” Carol whispered. She felt her usually dominant habits crumble at the sight of those dimples, ready to give herself up to Therese.

“Just relax,” Therese said softly. “Let me do the work tonight, baby girl.”

Carol whimpered as lips attacked her neck, unbuttoning her blouse and pushing it off of her shoulders, letting the fabric flutter to the floor. Therese worked Carol’s jeans off of her long legs, along with her socks, leaving her standing in her underwear. 

Carol was about to reach behind her and undo her bra, but she was stopped.

“Nuh-uh, I’m doing the work,” she said with a harsher bite to her voice. “Lie on the bed, baby.”

Carol felt a surge of arousal shoot through her at her lovely angel, her darling Therese, being so wonderfully in charge. Feeling limp, she did as she was told, settling on the edge of the bed, hands at her sides.

Therese stood in front of her and Carol couldn’t tear her gaze away from the cock just inches away from her. To think of Therese using it on her, fucking her, made her feel dizzy.

A finger tapped her knee. “Spread.”

Carol realized she’d been clenching her knees together hard enough to have her legs trembling in anticipation. 

As she spread her legs, Therese’s hand cupped the back of her neck, kissing her and easing her down to lie on her back as well.

“Good girl,” she whispered as Carol’s head landed on the sheets. The blonde gasped a little at the praise and felt another jolt of arousal go through her body, landing in a pool between her legs.

“Tsk, what’s this? Someone seems to be enjoying herself,” Therese’s fingers trailed up her thighs and rubbed at the wet spot on Carol’s panties. She groaned and her hips lifted up in response.

“Stay down and don’t move, there’s a good girl,” Therese commanded, lowering herself to her knees in front of Carol. “Let me have a taste.”

Carol squirmed but didn’t move further, breathing heavily, sweat collecting on her skin.

Therese pressed the flat of her tongue right against Carol’s cunt, soaking the wet spot even further and her lover cried out audibly. The sound made Therese hungry with need and she yanked Carol’s underwear down, immediately pressing her tongue to her clit.

Carol saw stars as Therese attacked her cunt without holding back. She went from breathing rapidly to holding her breath, clawing at the sheets and tossing  her head. 

Therese gripped Carol’s thighs hard enough to leave bruises and kept exploring her lover, dipping inside briefly but never enough to give Carol any satisfaction. 

She kept going back to pressing her tongue against her lovely little clit and would watch with aroused amusement as Carol would begin gasping at the contact without the friction. 

Carol started moving her hips, feeling hot at the feeling of Therese’s tongue against her but needing movement of some kind. A sharp slap to the side of her ass made her still and she looked down to meet Therese’s eyes, fiery and wild with need.

“What did I say?” Therese growled against Carol’s skin, making her shiver.

“D-don’t move,” Carol responded obediently, forcing her hips to still, but her legs were still trembling uncontrollably.

“Exactly. Do as I say and I might just let you cum, okay baby?”

Carol nodded hastily, wanting to feel Therese against her again. This time Therese pressed two fingers inside, sliding into her cunt easily with her collected arousal.

“Oh! O-oh, Therese,” Carol cried out.

“That feel good, baby?”

“Yes, yes, yes. Please. Please don’t stop.”

Therese worked up a pace slowly, her palm pressing against Carol’s clit with every thrust. She curled her fingers just so and Carol nearly screamed.

Not relenting, Therese picked up the speed, moving her body up to bite and lick at Carol’s lovely neck, listening to the whimpers and grunts coming from the blonde as she fucked her with her fingers. 

Carol’s body began to tremble and stiffen, and Therese worked her hand harder, pressing deeper and harder and faster, faster, faster. 

Carol’s body seized up, hips lifting off the bed with her arms thrown around Therese’s form to have something to hold onto. She trembled and shook, crying out Therese’s name.

Therese cooed in her ear words of praise and approval as Carol’s breathing evened out again. The blonde’s body was covered in sweat and Therese didn’t remove her fingers as  Carol’s arms felt limp by her head, catching her breath.

Therese watched her girlfriend with an adoring look in her eyes; the way her throat was gasping for air, her blonde curls damp and spread out on the sheets.

As Carol came to, she noted the brunette still had her fingers inside that slowly began curling inside her again, making small movements that sent shivers through Carol’s body.

“We’re not done yet, sweetheart,” Therese said. Her thumb swirled around Carol’s sensitive clit, making her tense.  

She then pulled out her fingers and ordered Carol to go up further on the bed. Weakly, the blonde shuffled backwards until her head met her pillows. Therese followed shortly behind, pressing her warm body against Carol’s and pinning her wrists by her head. 

Her mouth found Carol’s and their tongues met in a feverish dance. Carol could taste herself on Therese’s tongue and she whimpered pathetically at the feeling, feeling hopelessly and deliciously submissive.

Therese hands moved down to unclasp Carol’s bra, working it off her hastily before latching her lips around an aching pink nipple. Gasping at teeth pulling at the sensitive nub, Carol’s eyes fluttered shut. She felt Therese press against her hot cunt, the plastic of the dildo easily coated in her cum

“Oh, dear god, please, Therese,” Carol begged. Therese let her nipple go with a pop and looked up.

“What was that?”

“Please, please... fuck me.”

“Yeah? You want me to fuck you baby?”

“Yes, please.”

Therese shifted her hips so the cock rubbed playfully against Carol’s cunt.

“Why would I do that, hm? Do you even deserve to be fucked?”

“Oh, oh god... ah, y-yes. Yes,” Carol babbled.

“Why? Tell me.”

“B-because I’ve been a good girl,” she whimpered, eyes screwed shut. “Please, I need you to fuck me, Therese. I’ve been so good.”

“Open your eyes, Carol. Look at me.”

Carol looked down at Therese pleadingly. The brunette had a smug look on her face, but her eyes were soft. A hand rubbed lovingly against Carol’s hips and she smiled.

“I guess I could indulge you this one time, since you have been so good for me all night,” Therese said, kissing Carol’s breast.

With one swift motion, Therese pressed the cock inside, easily welcomed by Carol’s warm cunt. Both women gasped and Carol’s fingers grabbed at Therese’s back, nails digging in.

“Please...”

Therese didn’t hesitate, setting up an animalistic pace that had Carol’s head thrown back. Her youthful, agile hips spiked Carol’s arousal like never before and every time Therese thrust inside, she saw white before her eyes.

Her mouth was hanging open, Therese’s lips sucking bruises along her collar bone. 

Long fingers wormed their way between their two bodies and Therese pressed two fingertips against Carol’s clit. Therese pressed diligently, circling around the nub, Carol’s entire cunt slick with arousal. 

“God, angel, I’m so c-close,” Carol managed to gasp out. Her hand suddenly flew down and held Therese’s wrist in a death grip, pressing up against her clit. “J-just like that- h-hold it just like that.. I-I’m..”

Therese bit into Carol’s shoulder as she came, working shudder after shudder out of her body, thrusting deeply and staying inside as Carol convulsed, her head pressed sideways against the pillow. biting into the fabric. Her face was contorted in the most beautiful way, eyebrows furrowed and raised, eyes shut and cheeks a rosy pink. 

When Carol’s body slumped against the sheets, Therese made to move out of her gently to let her catch her breath and then eventually for the two of them to fall asleep, but Carol had other plans. She moved with Therese, keeping the strap deep inside and pushed Therese onto her back, straddling her.

“N-not done,” the blonde muttered. “More, please.”

“Oh? You’ve not been fucked enough then?” Therese teased, hands trailing up over Carol’s stomach and kneading her breasts. Carol shook her head, blonde waves hanging in limp curls. 

“Get to it then, baby girl,” Therese grinned, gripping Carol’s hips. “Show me how much you like to be fucked.”

“Ah! Oh, oh, god. Th-thank you,” Carol muttered, arching her back as her hips began moving against Therese’s, the cock pressing deeply inside her. It was a sight; seeing her like this, completely giving into Therese and wanting nothing more than to cum on her cock over and over and over again.

As Carol began rocking to the point where the bed was creaking, Therese had a feeling she wouldn’t be getting out of this harness anytime soon.

A/N: smut smut smut smut smut smut !!!!!! shout out to the anon who requested this and thanks for coming ;)

[amerrierworld]

Curtain. (iv)

Carol (2015) fanfiction

Pt: 1 | 2 | 3

Word Count: 1,289

September - just before the first day.

"Yes, yes. I know, Harge. I'm her mother for God's sake, I'm not going to forget anything," Carol grumbled into the phone as she grabbed the last of Rindy's bags from the back of the car.

"Well you better make sure she gets everything she needs, Carol," her ex-husband responded gruffly. "I want her to do well in school."

"Harge, it's first grade. What dire needs would a six-year old have to have? It's not like she's learning calculus."

"Listen, I don't want to have a tantrum-prone child at my house in a month because you decide not to discipline her with the school. They like me over there, you know."

"Yes, you've told me many times, Harge. Just because you have the money to fund that school and make them all lovey-dovey for your spare change does not mean we normal people have money coming out our asses."

"Watch it, Ross. It's still my name in the registration."

Carol pursed her lips, forming a foul expression but deciding not to snap back.

"Anyway, I want her in at least one team. They're very disciplined with their physical education, it'll do Rindy some good."

"What? You can't be serious, Harge. She's too young to be participating with any rigorous sports-"

"And I said she was too young to make her suffer through her parent's divorce, but here we are."

Carol sighed as she closed the car and headed up the steps to the house. "I can't promise anything. When Rindy wants something from that school, she gets it, fine. But if it's not sports, that's just too bad. So don't come blaming me if she wants to play in the band or some crap, okay?"

"Fine."

"I'll bring her over on the last Friday of the month, like we agreed."

"Thank you, Carol." His voice was cold and monotone and Carol summoned all her will power not to throw her phone against the brick wall. She hung up before he could say anything else and pushed through the front door.

"Mommy!" A squeal of delight sounded from the living room as her daughter came bounding towards her. Notorious wine-aunt and babysitter Abigail Gerhard followed closely behind.

"There you are, nitwit. Rindy was beginning to think her mom had been kidnapped."

"Oh nonsense," Carol said, crouching down to pick up her daughter, whose wispy blonde curls were sticking out everywhere. "I've got the last bits of your stuff, sweet pea. Now we can properly arrange your new room."

"Yay!"

"I best get going, Carol. I got you some of those bath salts you really like, I figured you might need some, plus they were on sale, so I had to."

"You're the best, Abby, I can't thank you enough."

Carol gave her best friend a quick peck on the cheek as she passed by her to the front door.

"Good luck with school, kiddo," she ruffled Rindy's hair and gave Carol one last squeeze on her shoulder before exiting the house.

Rindy snuggled in tightly against Carol and her heart felt like it was about to burst. She wrapped her arms tightly around her daughter, kissing the top of her head and letting out a sigh of relief. The bags could wait, she thought.

"It's far too quiet here without Aunt Abby, don't you think? Let's put on some music and I'll make us some dinner."

"Can we listen to Frozen, momma?"

"Of course, sweet pea."

-

After chicken nuggets and a desperate attempt to make Rindy eat some broccoli, her daughter lay tuckered out on Carol's lap, who was watching the news rather than Coco for the fifteenth time. Her legs were stiff but she dared not move from her spot. Rindy had flailed around and danced to endless Disney songs, forcing her mom to dance with her in the kitchen while making dinner.

Now, it was getting late and the way her eyes were straining against the bright TV made Carol realize it was probably time for her to go to bed as well. Eventually she relented and got up, cradling Rindy carefully as to not wake her up before heading to her new bedroom. The bed had been made and Rindy's fairy lights were strung up, but there were still loads of boxes meant to be gone through. The walls were a soft lavender shade with butterfly decorations everywhere; on the walls, lamps, and closet door.

Carol tucked her daughter into bed and wished her a quiet good night before turning the lights out and leaving. She left the door open a crack like she always did and headed to her own bedroom, which seemed much darker and lonelier compared to the toddler's dreamy childhood bedroom.

Carol debated a hot bath to help her relax but decided against it for the sake of sleep. She threw on an old shirt and a pair of boxer briefs to sleep in and crawled to the middle of the large bed, surrounding herself with the thick duvet and ample pillows. The air conditioning made it extra cold in her room and she felt herself trying to get to sleep, but her brain was too preoccupied to let her body shut down.

Carol grabbed her phone, intending to call Abby but remembered that she had a date that evening, which is why she had left so hurriedly. Abby was most definitely already occupied at this time.

Instead, she went to the school's online directory. The title Frankenberg Elementary came up and Carol scrolled through the names of teachers, wanting to remember as many as possible.

Carol and Harge had been huge influences on the school since Rindy started going there. Harge spared no expense in funding many of the school's programs, and consequently gaining immunity for their daughter through power play. Though the thought of it made Carol squirm with guilt, she knew at least now Rindy wouldn't be treated unfairly by the system. Other kids, not so much.

She went straight to the phys-ed tab and up came T. Tucker. Carol sighed, knowing she'd have to face him for another year. Him and Harge had got on swimmingly from the beginning, but Carol had never really enjoyed his company or comments. His female counter part; Mrs. Morgan who taught phys-ed to younger years found him just as insufferable, as she had noted at several PTA meetings.

She went through the regular listings, noting that Robichek was teaching kindergarten again, and thanking heaven that she didn't have to deal with the elderly woman again now that Rindy was out of kindergarten.

A new subheading under Subjects caught Carol's eye; Art. She didn't remember there being a distinct art teacher before; usually it was just doodle or craft assignments assigned by regular teachers.

She clicked.

One name came up.

T. Belivet

Carol blinked at her screen, her eyelids heavy, and frowned. Surely it wasn't the same girl as the shy, petite brunette who had taken photo after photo of Carol which she had pretended not to see? The name seemed too familiar... but what were the chances the girl would be teaching at Rindy's school? Carol scoffed at her own imagined fantasy. It was ridiculous. Abby was right; she ought to get on the dating scene again instead of these desperate fantasies and daydreams.

There was no picture. For all she knew, it could be a relative. If Abby wanted to hire Therese again for the Christmas show, surely she wouldn't have started teaching at a kids' school?

Carol shut off her phone and groaned a little at the ache behind her eyes. It wasn't worth worrying about things that probably meant nothing. She turned over on her side, and curled into a protective ball, determined to get some sleep and give Rindy the best first day.

A/N: My promised Just Pretend pt 2 is coming up after this folks, and then the rest of my queue. I’ve just been on a roll with Carol and Therese that I gotta get some chapters out of my system :3 love you all

[rappaccini]

What's your Head canons for the Hargreeves as 2-5 years olds? I was watching the Incredibles 2 and when ever Jack Jack teleports, I keep imagining little baby Five, they must have drive their nannies insane (you know, before they were dead- I wonder if they ever loved the kids)❤❤

well first off, according to canon, by the time the kids are 4, they’re already being trained, both in group and individual sessions. i’d say that starts around age 3 at the earliest, because before that... i mean. they’re toddlers. they’re just learning how to walk and talk and Not Die. and given who the hargs are, that’s an achievement. 

specifically, in terms of how training started:

one and six needed to be taught from day 1 how to withhold their strength. i’ve mentioned elsewhere that in my head, they were especially close early on, what with having similar training.

for that matter, seven’s power was probably also approached with the goal of teaching control, but given its intensity, she was likely always trained apart. 

two’s power was probably specifically associated with knives early on. he’s probably able to bend more items, but reginald being reginald, immediately decided he’d use weapons.

five was a NIGHTMARE. as soon as baby five could conceive of different rooms within the house, he was all over the place. and the goal was literally ‘@god please don’t let this little shit teleport himself into a wall again.’ i say ‘again’ because he has definitely landed in crawlspaces and between walls, and they literally had to excavate him out. there’s a 65% chance that all those busted-through walls in the mansion are because baby five got stuck in them, and reginald thought ‘fuck it. take the rest of the wall down too.’

four, along with three, was probably one of the last kids to have his powers discovered. as a result they were likely disliked by reginald. four in particular likely still just had to deal with the basics of ‘talking to ghosts’ rather than channeling them, seeing as he only just starts to do that in adulthood. so though it was undoubtedly traumatizing for him, he wasn’t in immediate physical danger like most of the other kids. 

i think that three’s power, given how it has a very specific trigger phrase, didn’t initially start out that way. it’d make a lot of sense if it was much more general, and in order to give her a means to control how and when she used her mind control powers, reginald conditioned her in a very pavlovian way, to only be able to use it after she said ‘i heard a rumor...’ said words are like a trigger phrase that help three channel her power, and she’s so dependent on it that she can’t access it without that phrase anymore.

as for the nannies... if that opening sequence of reginald collecting the children is any indication, up until around age 4, all the children had their own personal nanny. and rip to them. they were the real soldiers. you CAN’T convince me that vanya wasn’t the only one who killed her nannies.

think about it: 

baby luther accidentally crunching nanny wilma’s face between his squishy baby hands when she holds him up.

baby diego yeeting his spoon at nanny rachel and sniping her from his high chair.

baby allison, the second she learns to speak, mindlessly babbling that she wants things, and forcing the nannies to comply.  

baby klaus doesn’t kill any of his nannies, but he wAiLs constantly. baby klaus may not kill you, but after you spend twelve straight hours trying to get this little shit to sleep, you’ll wish he did. 

baby five teleporting around the house, onto the roof, out into the middle of the street, causing nannies to climb/crawl/sprint into perilous situations to come get his ass. 

baby ben’s bentacles ripping out of him at random and maiming any nanny withing a ten foot radius.

and as for whether they loved the kids... idk man. look at the nannies caring for vanya. they weren’t exactly indulgent of her. and it makes sense: if you were hired to take care of toddlers, and you saw what hargreeves was doing to them, and you didn’t call a social worker immediately, i’d say you’re kind of a dick. reginald wouldn’t have employed someone he knew would develop a connection to the kids that’s stronger than their loyalty to him. 'they cared, but didn’t bother to help’ is the best case scenario.