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#harmless shark
libralounges · 1 year
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Whale Sharkies 🐋 🦈 ~~~
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Me when people regard an entire animal species as a horrible ruthless bloodthirsty killer that should be hunted down on sight: GRRRR! GRRR!!!
Me when people regard an entire animal species as a cutesy wittle thing that can and should be petted and subsequently bothered on sight: GRRRR! GRRR!!!
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stillflight · 9 months
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"This species is actually super intelligent and will never harm a human" not the best platform for conservation tbqh
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heartbeetz · 2 months
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I NEED to get back into oc f/os. I just remembered my old casino themed anthro shark guy. He never got a solid enough ref sheet (or lore, really) for me to feel comfortable making him one of my f/os but maybe I should remedy that at some point. Big Jack.........
#his name is Jasper Roulette but everyone calls him Big Jack#he's a ''professional'' underground gambler and great white 'card shark'#insists he's an ex crime boss but won't tell anyone what that entailed#well... he WILL. but it's a different story every time. always a lie and often over the top#nobody knows for sure if any of it's true or not. but pretty much everyone either 100% believes it or is too scared to contest it#bc his persona around other casino goers is this rough and tough type guy and he has the looks and talk to back it up#really though even IF it's true he's pretty harmless now. his whole thing is ''yeah I used to do that but I'm turning my life around''#which others are skeptical about but is mostly true. he's kinda just chilling#he's a cheat and a showoff and an asshole but he's more intimidating than he is dangerous#and he has way more money than he cares to do anything with (where he got it who's to say) so he doesn't mind just handing it out#he was the first character I made for a little game / visual novel I wanted to make at one point but ended up giving up on#it was just about sharks in an underground casino#the idea was you could play little mini games and have conversations with them#and if you made the conversation go in the ''right'' direction there'd be little collectibles that opened new paths#but it never went anywhere other than some ideas and a very rough drawing of Big Jack (which actually came first lol)#unfortunately I designed him IMMEDIATELY before I got super into Sparker as one of my f/os so he got swept under the rug real bad#sorry sharky 😔#roz posts
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hydrias · 1 year
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the solution to an animal being demonized isn’t to pass off a predator as a harmless puppy or to claim that actually THIS animal over here DESERVES it i’m going to go insane
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💙Smoshblr December Asks Day 2💛
What are your top 3 favourite movies?
And how easily would your friends (or ppl you work with) be able to guess it was you, based on them?
hiiiiiiii so
i have problems digesting visual media, so when i like a movie, my friends are Very Aware of it. earlier this year, i watched bullet train (2022) fifteen times in one week. so probably bullet train. scream (1996), also one i watched for the first time this year, but i am a big fan. i wish my own favorite movies was something i could google, holy shit. i don't even know three movies i like, how would my friends? IT 2017. 2017 was a banging year for movies - It dropped, Power Rangers (2017) fucked severely, so like if it's possible to have a tie for third place, those two. as for whether my friends could guess, they'd be torn between thinking it was me or my sister til they got to bullet train, at which point i would be summarily roasted.
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delimeful · 2 years
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Soooo... with how many installments there are in the Sit back and watch the world go by universe, and how many AUs there are of it, I gotta ask... WIBAR Beach episode when?
*it’s always sunny in philadelphia music plays*
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wolfydawolfli · 9 months
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I saw the Barbie movie and this little rant I'm about to have isn't actually related to the movie but the movie made me think of it because at the beginning it cuts to a closeup of Barbie's leg to show that she suddenly has cellulite now for plot-related reasons, and I. Saw. Nothing. It was just a normal leg. I've never seen anything but normal skin when hearing about cellulite and I'm tempted to believe it doesn't even exist. Like logically I know is it something, something that assholes make a big deal about even though it's so totally normal that like I think the vast majority of people have it, it's just a body thing that happens, but like. It's nothing. It's made up. It's not real. What even is cellulite. Don't answer because I'm happy in my little bubble of that's not a thing. It doesn't matter and no one should care.
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nightly-ruse · 1 year
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Basking sharks are the second-largest shark species in the world, and can reach up to almost 8m long on average but in some cases are known to be 10m long.
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SHARK LOOK AT THAT MOUTH
I bet they can swallow a lot of corn dogs. They are really big dang. Kinda remind me of the soup dog with the cheeks
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mushroom-for-art · 1 year
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Weird shark mer anthro creature person, heavily inspired by an artist who drew a tuna fish tail on girl. Why she look like this idk. I just like it and it uses all the colors of the pallete I picked. Full credit to lovewhilechibi for the pose. With and without texture lmao love the sparkle brush.
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Cool cool cool cool I can be normal about this I can be SO normal about this
(The Raven King, Ch2.)
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mywillbedone · 4 months
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please please tag or at the very least label in your posts specific types of animals
tagging an otherwise unlabeled photo of a whip scorpion with 'arachnophobia' or the like does me absolutely Nothing because i won't block that/similar tags as it's way too vague and i LIKE seeing posts about most arachnids. its like labeling a picture of a bear as 'mammal' vague.
broad labels do nothing to prevent me seeing images of spindly legged horrors that will incite more dreams of plagues of harvestmen and 20ft legspan maneating monster creatures
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A Rocky Start
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Pairing: König x Reader
Summary: You're determined to find out why everyone thinks König is so scary, afterall he's just some guy that's taller than most people right? He's probably harmless! Well, he's a little scary, but you still like him anyway.
(No use of y/n or mention of gender/race)
Part 1 of A Rocky Start - Full Masterlist Here
-☠️-
There was one thing that was a given when it came to the KorTac guys - stay the fuck away from König. It wasn’t a spoken rule or anything, but everyone tended to avoid him whenever he was around. He would loom in corners and sit silently like a mountain at tables, sending people running off whenever he so much as looked in their direction with his shadowy crystalline eyes. 
It made you curious eventually, how could it not? Why was everyone so afraid of him? Was it his sheer size alone or was it the dubious nature of KorTac combined with his blank crocodilian stares? Perhaps a combination of all of those, you'd figured.
Though, one day you finally decided to settle your curiosity, you’d thought he looked harmless enough - you caught him cleaning his gun and humming an unfamiliar tune in the kitchen. There was no one else around, just König and the meticulously laid out pieces of his weapon laying on the table. 
You supposed he was probably unaware of any observers, you were nicknamed Sneak for a reason after all (much to your chagrin, what kind of a name was that? It didn’t exactly inspire awe or fear like the other guys in your unit). So you stopped in your tracks, deciding to join him instead of carrying on down the hall. He couldn’t be as bad as people made him out to be, right? 
“Just back from a mission?” You asked, making your way into the kitchen.
Most people shit themselves when you did that - when you’d stroll in and break the silence out of nowhere. Though König merely looked up from the piece he’d been focusing on polishing and fixed his eyes on you. It was as if he’d known you’d been there all along. 
“Yes,” he finally said, quiet voice muffled through his hood.
He sounded strained, as if he might have said more, but thought better of it. You smiled and fetched a mug from one of the creaky cabinets and set it silently on the counter, pausing as you were about to reach for the kettle. 
“Would you like some tea?” You offered. 
He tilted his head to the side for a moment, considering your question as if it merited more brain power than it did. He let the silence brew a little before he shook his head, the heavy material of his sniper hood accentuating his answer. 
“No thank you,” he said briskly. 
You shrugged and offered another smile for good measure. This was probably the most anyone from around the base had talked to the big guy, you wanted to set a good impression. You wanted to show him there was someone around that wasn’t so afraid - like the comms guys -  or merely indifferent - as was the case with guys like your lieutenant. 
The room was rumbling with the noise of the kettle as you set the water to boil, though after a few seconds you realised that the humming that had been there before had stopped. König had gone back to his work, but he was silent this time. You missed the sound of the old fashioned tune that had been bouncing through the corridors before.
“What was the song you were humming?”
You’d waited to ask your question once the water was finished boiling. You had your back to him as you poured it generously into your cup and set the kettle back down again, turning to see Königs measured stare toward you. He didn’t look very pleased, his eyes were narrowing and his gloved grip on the cloth he was holding looked tight. The steam that was billowing out of your cup could very well be pouring out of his ears under that hood for all you'd known. 
“I didn’t mean to eavesdrop or anything, I just heard it when I was coming into the room,” you explained, holding your hands up in appeasement. 
König continued to stare at you with that shark-like gaze, as if you were a silly warbling seal swimming up to him. You tilted your head, wondering if he was going to get angry, but instead he looked back toward the doorway and peered around as if someone were waiting there, ready to strike. 
“Something wrong?” You asked, following his gaze and trying to find what he was searching for. 
“You ask a lot of questions.”
Königs eyes returned to you and you stared dumbly back at him. What could you say to that? 
“Just making conversation,” you laughed, stirring the darkening water in your cup. “But I guess you’re the quiet type? I’ll leave you alone soon, I’m almost done.”
You were just about to dispose of your teabag and be on your way when the silence was broken by his gravelly voice again. He probably could’ve done with taking you up on your offer, his mouth was clearly dry from disuse.
“No one ever talks to me when I’m here...”
He trailed off as if in thought, considering his next words carefully. You tilted your head this time and felt your heartbeat pattering in your chest, thudding faster as you thought about what he said. It must be crappy to be ignored all the time. 
“Did someone put you up to this?” He finally asked, eyes narrowing again. 
“What? God no, I just didn’t want to do that thing I always do where I walk into a room like a silent assassin and scare the crap outta you when I finally make a noise,” you babbled, “plus It’s kinda rude to ignore people, yknow? And doubly rude to make a drink and not offer to someone else that’s sitting right there.”
Your voice pitched probably three times higher than it normally did, you sounded like a squeaky toy. Finally, you were beginning to understand why most people kept out of his way. That calculating glare could freeze the devil himself - you felt like you were walking along the edge of the Andes. 
“Oh.”
That was all he said. Oh. He sounded light, his tone had shifted once again. Well that was better than, I don’t believe you and you’re a minute away from being at the end of this reassembled rifle. However, you’d wished he’d said more. 
Instead, he went back to his work and kept his head down. His eyes were completely hidden from your view now.
End of interaction. Peace out.
You frowned, but decided not to pester him anymore. Instead, you walked out of the room with your cup in hand, ducking out like a shadow and sticking to the walls. 
Note to self - stay the fuck away from König. 
-☠️-
The next time you encountered him, König was once again alone in the kitchen, and this time you weren’t looking to disturb his peace. However, you did really want to make a cup of tea. You paused from your spot by the doorway, angling yourself so that you couldn’t be seen, and considered your next move, wondering if it was worth being in there alone with him again after your last not so friendly encounter.
Don’t be ridiculous, you thought to yourself. It wasn’t like he could actually do anything to you, you’d just go in and get your tea and leave again. In and out, nice and quiet. You’d be fine.
Though, when you finally crept into the kitchen you were faced immediately with his blank stare as he stood by the freshly boiled kettle. Finally someone had given you a taste of your own medicine and scared the shit out of you. You jumped and clutched at your heart, glaring over at him when you inevitably recovered. 
“Tea, yeah?”
You frowned, looking confusedly at the hooded man. What?
“Tea?” you repeated, feeling like you were in some kind of sketch show. 
“Would you like me to make you a cup?” he asked, voice lilting with amusement. 
Oh!
He’d practically chased you out the room last time for asking that very same question and now he was playing house for you? You felt your lip curve into a smile and nodded your head. This was a welcome change to being accused of toying with him. 
You were about to tell him to get one of the herbal teas you kept shoved to the back, the ones no one else ever touched because they’d be too afraid of the mockery, but you were stopped before you could open your mouth. König selected one of the flowery bags without being told and plopped it in a fresh cup of boiled water before he tended to his own cup, stirring in a dark instant coffee. 
“What have you been doing today?” he asked cheerfully, hood shifting as he motioned his head.
Had you emerged into another universe? Was this a different König you were speaking to? You smirked to yourself seeing as he couldn’t catch you with his back turned and took a second to think about your answer. It’s not like you'd had an exciting day, but him being chatty all of a sudden really had you second guessing yourself.
“Uh, did some training, hung out with some of the guys for a bit. I was actually just watching a movie there, but I got thirsty…soooo here I am,” you said finally, watching as he stirred up the drinks. “What about you?”
“I was here for a debriefing, but I was dismissed before it ended and now I seem to be at a loose end,” he answered, finally handing you your tea. 
“Huh, that’s annoying.” 
You both sat in silence for a moment after that, you sipped on your hot tea and watched with amusement as König took to looking at his coffee, stuck in a dilemma. He couldn’t very well drink his coffee with his hood on, so either he would have to remove it, or he’d have to remove himself from the room. 
Oh, this should be interesting. 
Your eyes widened as he made up his mind and lifted the bottom of his hood, revealing his stubbly golden chin and soft pink lips. He was hiding a pretty face under there, a little bruised, but very defined. From what you could make out of his jaw at least, he seemed like a good looking man.
You briefly thought of Ghost, remembering back to all the times Soap teased the Lieutenant for probably being a “big ugly bastard under that mask” and realised you assumed the same of König. Well there was that theory out the window. 
Once König finished taking a drink his eyes wandered over to yours and you panicked, feeling your heart leap into your throat as you raced to cover up your staring. You’d made headway with him, and you didn’t want to set him back by making him feel like a museum exhibit. Not to mention, you’d flustered yourself thinking about how soft his lips looked. 
“You wanna watch the rest of my movie with me?” you asked hurriedly, hoping to distract him from your mini freak out. 
When you finally met his gaze again, König looked surprised. His eyes were widened into crystal saucers, but he soon seemed to recover and tilted his head at you, considering his answer. 
“What are you watching?” 
“Uh, I only have a few movies downloaded on my tablet, but I was just starting to watch Rocky if you like that? We can always put something else on though, I’ve seen it a million times…”
König paused in thought, then looked back at you. 
“I’ve never seen it.”
“Never seen- What? I don’t understand?”
“I believe that was the correct way to say I’ve never watched Rocky, no?” He laughed.
His voice sounded light and airy, nothing like it had the last time you’d encountered one another. It almost felt like you were just two normal people conversing, instead of you talking to the scariest man on the base. Well, neck and neck for the scariest man on the base - Ghost was top dog in that area most of the time. 
“No, like grammatically sure, but I just don’t think those are words that should be said. Rocky is a classic,” you explained, looking at him as seriously as if he’d just said he liked to kick old people in his down time. “We gotta fix this!”
“We do?”
“Yes! Just- trust me, this is happening. Stay there, ok?” 
“Is that an order?” he asked, amusement snaking around his words.
“Yes, soldier,” you grinned, 
With that you raced off to get your tablet and found yourself back in the kitchen quicker than light speed, practically hearing the whoosh of air that fell behind you as it feathered through your hair. You were so caught up in the euphoria of showing someone one of your favourite films, you didn’t even blink at the fact you’d ordered König to sit and watch it with you. 
Though, despite being all too capable of moving away because he wasn’t taking any of your shit, König remained in place and continued to sip at his coffee. You walked in just as he was taking another drink, letting you confirm for a fact that your original thoughts were indeed correct. There was a good looking guy hidden under all those layers somewhere.
Focus!
You pulled yourself out of your thoughts and motioned for him to join you on the ratty couch in the corner - if you were going to be providing him with a cinematic education, you resolved that you weren’t going to have a sore ass afterwards. So, with that, he silently got up and joined you, sitting his massive frame down on the other end of the small leather couch. The seat was cosy at the best of times, but it was especially cramped with the giant you had next to you. 
You decided not to think about it too much. Instead, you set the scrubber back to its starting position on your tablet and held it at the edge of your lap, making sure that König could see. Then, without further ado you hit play, and watched giddily for his reactions, excited to see what he thought of the movie.
While it played, there were a few people that came into the kitchen. They clearly hadn’t spotted you two in the corner to begin with, but once they had they set about getting what they wanted and left like there was a great migration. Even with you there, it wasn’t enough to offset the fear of König, people that usually smiled when they saw you were turning away like you were sat there licking a leper. 
You paid them no mind, instead you bounced between watching Rocky and watching König, grinning to yourself when he smiled at parts or gasped softly to himself. He was a very kinetic movie watcher, he fidgeted and raced his knees, but despite that he stayed next to you watching the whole thing.
It was priceless. You’d not only broken down König’s barriers enough that he was actually talking to you, but you had him watching one of your favourite films and he was enjoying it!
“So, what’d you think?” you asked as soon as the credits played. 
You weren’t letting him think about it - you wanted his honest answer. 
“I liked it, it wasn’t what I expected, actually…”
“Oh?”
“I thought it was just going to be a dumb boxing movie, but it wasn’t,” he shrugged. “His character was pretty interesting too. He kinda comes off as someone that would be a big two dimensional aggressive guy, but he was actually pretty nice.”
Like someone else you know…
You smiled to yourself. You’d both succeeded in befriending König and getting him to watch Rocky, so your mission for the day had been achieved and you could go to bed happy. No doubt, you’d be thinking of what you’d seen under that hood in your last conscious thoughts, but that was for later. 
“Well, thank you for watching the movie with me. I suppose I better go find my team now,” König murmured politely, shifting from his position.
During the movie he’d drawn closer to you, you supposed to see better, but couldn’t help noticing that he’d been touching you for half the run time. His big bulky thighs were pressed up against yours and he leaned into you more and more over time, almost stifling you with his warmth. Though, you felt like you missed his body heat now as he stood up and walked over to the door. 
Though, he didn’t leave without acknowledging you again. 
“I’ll see you another time, yeah?”
“Course! Thanks for the tea as well, you brewed it just right,” you complimented, lifting your now empty cup.
He didn’t answer, he just nodded and you could’ve sworn you caught a twinkle in his eyes before he walked off out of sight. Well that just happened. 
You sat almost giggling as you thought about how close you’d been to him, and how many glances you’d gotten of that chiselled jawline. If you weren’t certain before, you were sure now. You had a crush on König - The resident scarecrow. You knew you had a thing for big guys and accents, but for a time you’d managed to suppress your interest in König given his reputation. Though, now that had all changed apparently. 
Just as you were getting up to get a bottle of water, you froze as you heard Ghost’s rasp from down the hallway and shook yourself off. You couldn’t walk around with your head in the stars while he was around. He’d ask questions, and you hardly wanted to talk to him about your new found crush.
“Oh, well look who it is, Johnny, little Sneak.”
You bit your lip and squeezed the water bottle in your hand, hoping to relieve the pressure that had creeped down your spine. They were onto you already.
“Two cups o’ tea was it?” Soap teased, eyeing up the mugs you’d just placed in the sink. 
“No, just one,” you said through a strained smile. “Can I make you both some?”
“You know I prefer the normal stuff,” Ghost said, emphasising exactly what he thought of your fruity herbal tea, “but I hear you had someone joining you, and like Johnny so observantly pointed out - you got two cups there, sweetheart.” 
Fuck. Clearly gossip had got round and now you were in an interrogation with the only two men that could put most old biddies to shame. You weren’t ready for their teasing, if they got wind of your feelings for König it was over for you. It would be all there was to talk about. 
“I did have someone join me,” you answered nonchalantly. “You know I hardly ever sit by myself.” 
“Hmm, usually don’t take up König’s company though, do you?”
You felt your body go rigid and licked your lips, uncomfortably standing there as Ghost kept perfect eye contact with you while he poured water into the kettle. He fetched a pot noodle from one of the cupboards and you found your breath again when he finally looked away. Your nerve was somewhere outside the field of his vision. 
“I was just watching a movie with him.”
“You were watching Rocky with him,” Soap noted. “That’s your favourite, right?”
“Well, yeah…I always watch it.”
“Sharing your favourite movie with your favourite KorTac operator, sounds cosy,” Ghost chuckled, pouring the boiled water into his instant noodles. 
You swore your legs were going as soft as the contents of that black plastic pot. You could only dream that the ground swallowed you up in a whirlpool of water and took you away. Though, unfortunately, you remained stuck in place.
“He’s hardly my favourite, I just started talking to the guy,” you frowned.
“So you’ll be talking more with him then?” Ghost asked, stirring the boiling cup with a fork. 
You had half a mind to knock the pot noodle all over him, and if he weren’t leagues above you in rank and stature, you actually might have. You’d pity the poor person that would do that to Ghost though. Instead, you shrugged and got on with washing the mugs and made a move to leave, but you were blocked by Soap, who’s bulging arm was hardly an easy obstacle to overcome. 
“The Lieutenant asked you a question,” Soap grinned.
You sighed.
“It’s polite to make conversation,” you said simply, tilting your chin up to meet Ghost’s gaze. “So, I suppose I will, yes.”
“Well, as long as it's all just polite conversation, Sneaky.” Ghost said, tilting his shoulders up teasingly. 
You frowned at the two men in front of you and looked between them, catching the hard look that was in both their faces - or rather in Ghost's eyes. Despite the fact they were above you, it hardly concerned them who you spend your time talking to. Especially when it was someone that wasn’t even in your squad. It’s not like he was a superior or anything…
“I hardly see why it concerns the two of you.”
Soap raised his eyebrows, surprised you had the balls to come back at Ghost like that. And soon enough you were doing the same as you realised what you’d actually said. 
“It doesn’t concern us, it concerns Price,” Ghost shrugged, “He said, and you can go confirm with the Captain if you like ‘I catch Sneaky and that psychotic mammoth cunt together, they’re going to be scrubbing toilets well into retirement’.”
“Price didn’t call him a cunt to be fair,” Soap corrected, smiling as he caught your gaping mouth. “But yeah, that was the long and short of it.”
How the fuck did word get all the way to Price? You hardly had to ask, it was definitely the gossips in front of you that had told him. And even so, to your earlier point, why did it matter to Price who you ‘got together’ with? And scrubbing toilets? Really? 
“You two are fucking with me aren’t you?” you smiled, tilting your head in hopes the captain wasn’t seriously putting the order out for you to stay away from König. 
Ghost and Soap both looked at each other and laughed, tipping their heads back like they were in a cartoon. For a brief second you had hope that you were right, and that would be the end of it, but soon enough Ghost was staring you dead in the eyes again with that ghoulish look of his and killed your moment of peace dead.
“Oh no, he was absolutely serious, love. He doesn’t like König one bit.”
You gulped and begun to reconsider your crush. Was a handsome jawline worth the risk of being knee deep in piss? 
“If you ask us though, you make a real sharp couple o’ coconuts,” Soap laughed, recalling a line from the aforementioned film. 
Oh now it was going to get childish. That was your queue to leave.
“Oh really?” you replied sarcastically, moving around him finally and heading toward the doorway.
You were ready to escape from their scrutinising looks and dumb comments. 
“You’re right, Johnny. It’s just like the movie - they’re dumb and he’s shy! Wait - it’s the other way around innit?”
You growl out in frustration and traipse down the hall, listening to their hyena like laughter die out as you escape from them. Being stuck with them on the next mission was going to be hell. As was another encounter with a certain forbidden KorTac operator…
-☠-
Next Part
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A Sticky Situation
Wriothesley x Fem! Reader
Summary: With the sticker count rising higher and higher that week, it has finally reached a point where Wriothesley needed it to slow down for his sanity.
Words: 1,766
AN: I love stickers. I want to join Sigewinne in her bet.
Wriothesely had found what had to be the fifth sticker he had peeled off of his jacket just that morning alone. Not to mention it was the forty-second sticker that week and it was only Thursday morning. Usually, this prank from Sigewinne and the other Melusine wouldn’t bother him too much. It was harmless after all. But Forty-Two Stickers??? All in the same week?
Was it always this many and people were taking them off for him without telling him in pity? No, he would have noticed that if that was the case. It wasn’t like Sigewinne also had more Melusine friends visiting her more than normal. Maybe he really was a bad influence on Sigewinne if her bets had gone this far. Hopefully, that would be the extent of his influence and nothing else.
The one question he couldn’t get out of his mind besides how they were getting so many stickers was, where they were getting so many stickers from. It wasn’t like they got this many stickers sent down here from the overworld or that Sigewinne had the time to make so many stickers. And he hadn’t seen many of Sigewinne’s friends come to the Fortress of Meropide that week. It had to be Sigewinne who was currently winning that bet.
None of it made sense at this point. And what didn’t make even more sense was that he just found a sixth sticker on his boot. Maybe it was time to at least slow her pranks down. He wouldn’t stop them but this was starting to get disruptive. At least make her understand not to sticker on the leather of clothes. It never felt like it cleaned off right. He just hoped by bringing it up the sticker amount would go down instead of jumping it up higher as a challenge.
Making his way out of his office he took a glance around his surroundings. A peak over at the cafeteria had him spotting exactly who he wanted to talk to. Sigewinne was talking to her pharmacist friend from the overworld, a lovely woman who had taken it upon herself to sub in to try and help give Sigewinne a break to join her Melusine friends in the overworld. It made Y/N quite helpful as well if Sigewinne ever requested a set of extra hands as she was more comfortable around the Fortress than anyone else they would send down.
She flipped through a book leaning down just enough to show Sigewinne without causing her to strain her neck. Whatever the two were discussing had caused them to laugh aloud. “Personally, this one is my favorite. Its eyes are bigger than the shark's body."
Yeah, that was different from the normal pharmaceutical talk he never followed along with. It's easy to lose track of everything being referred to in great detail due to its chemical composition. This conversation even a child could follow.
"I take it your lunch went well.” He said making his presence known. 
Y/N closed up the book the two were going through handing it off to Sigewinne before standing straight up. “It did. I brought some muffins I bought down to share. How’s your day going so far your Grace?” She looked at him and smiled.
His eyes followed the book that had been handed off. “It's been okay.” He looked back up at Y/N’s face. “What happened to you thinking calling me that was weird?”
“You’re working at the moment. I can respect the professionalism within it even if it feels weird to say. Sigewinne and I were just finishing up.” She bit her lip holding her smile from getting any bigger.
“Anything you need?” Sigewinne asked making sure that the plain back of the book was facing his line of sight. She counted the stickers she could still see on him. There were 4 left. 5 if the one she placed on his chair made it on him.
“Can you at least not place any stickers on leather?” He bargained.
“Hmmm. I don’t see any on leather.” He must have peeled most of those ones off already. Pity. 
“I’ve counted forty-three this week. At least twenty of them were on leather. I don't care as long as they aren’t on the leather. Takes too long to clean off right.”
Y/N covered her mouth trying not to laugh. “Fourty-three?” Sigewinne had to be in the lead for sure.
Wriothesley frowned. He really didn’t want to have to bring her into this. “And do you want to tell me what medicine the two of you have been going on about that contains a shark with eyes bigger than its body?”
Annnnnnd Caught.
“I should go back to the infirmary. Someone might have shown up by now.” Sigewinne excused herself before she lost what Y/N had come down to give her.
She looked down at a nonexistent watch on her arm. “Oh look at the time. I should go.” She tried to walk away towards the exit only for Wriothesley to grab her arm and pull her back. “I didn’t dismiss you.”
 She turned her head over her shoulder looking back at him. “I’m not working for you today.” “Doesn’t matter. What was the book about?”
“Nothing to worry about. You do see how inappropriate this looks to everyone else. I can practically feel your heartbeat against my back.” “You’ve given me hugs in front of inmates before. We’ll be fine. I’ll let go when you tell me what was in the book.”
"Cause you won a match in the ring. I was high on adrenaline." She rolled her eyes at the memory. "Don't tell me you enjoyed it." She teased. 
"Don't change the subject.
“I’m perfectly on topic. I don’t know what you are so pressed about.”
“Do you understand that anything that comes within the Fortress without my knowledge can be considered contraband?"
Y/N pulled out of his loose grip and began walking towards the infirmary. He followed right behind. "Contraband? You do understand that Sigewinne and I are free people who work and sometimes work here."
"I know that. I asked nicely the first time."
"Nicely? You manhandled me." “I think we are running off of two very different definitions.” He lightly elbowed her side. “I have a feeling you’d enjoy that anyway.”
She rolled her eyes hiding a small laugh that tried to creep into her voice. “Wriothesley.” She attempted to scold him.
“We can unpack all of that on a different day.”
“It would be a short day with nothing to unpack.” She sped up her walk. It was hard to take his flirting seriously when there was still a sticker in his hair. He’d benefit from keeping a mirror on his person if the stickers were becoming a problem.
Upon entering the infirmary, Sigewinne and Ottnit were flipping through the infamous book. Laughing. Plotting when to strike their prank next. The two Melusines were clearly enjoying themselves. 
“Hi, girls.” Y/N greeted them as she and Wriothesley walked down the stairs towards them. “I’ve been assumed of bringing in contraband. May I see the book for a moment?” She held out her hand as Sigewinne passed her the book. “You do know we aren’t inmates here.” Sigewinne frowned at Wriothesley. “Told him that already.” She showed the open book to Wriothesley. “Happy now?”
His mouth dropped in shock. “I trusted you. Have you been the one supplying them?”
“Stickers are cute. I’m just giving my friends a gift. I don’t think that's betraying your trust.”
“Tell that to all the sticky residue on my jacket and boots. It won’t even come off right.” He complained. “Twenty of them on leather. I’m just covered in sticky dust.”
The three of them couldn’t help but finally break out laughing. Y/N invested her money in the right thing if he was to look this cute pouting. He crossed his arms frowning in an attempt to save himself from turning into a dust ball at the rate it was going.
Y/N handed the book back to Sigewinne. “Ottnit could you get me some baby oil and a few cotton balls.”
“Sure.” She went off and bought back the supplies. Sigewinne went off, setting the sticker book down on her table before sitting on a chair watching the faces of the two infirmary guests. 
Y/N took one of the cotton balls and dabbed a bit of the baby oil on it. Ottnit took the bottle of baby oil back. She grabbed one of the sleeves of the jacket and peeled off a sticker he had missed. Wriothesley frowned as she placed the sticker on his nose.
“You are doing a horrible job helping.” He took the sticker off his face and crumbled it up in his hand.
Y/N rolled her eyes. “My grandpa was a leather worker. He told me if there was any sticky residue on any leather, take some baby oil and rub it over it with a cotton ball.” She said as she cleaned off the sleeve of the jacket. She handed the used cotton ball to Ottnit before taking a clean one. “Dry it off with another cotton ball and then it's good as new.” 
Wriothesley looked over the sleeve. It was a lot better than his attempts. He sighed. “This doesn’t mean you can keep placing stickers on my jacket or boots,” he told Sigewinne and Ottnit. They were going to keep doing it anyway.
“Nothing to be angry about now.” Y/N dropped the sleeve of the jacket and handed the cotton ball to Ottnit. Ottnit went and threw away the used ones before putting up the baby oil.
“I wasn’t angry.”
“Good cause I’m going to keep giving them stickers.” She reached up pulled a sticker out of hair and placed that one on his nose as well. “I think they look good on you Ri.”
He rolled his eyes before repeating his action from before. “I’m not sure if you know the meaning of help.”
Y/N laughed. “I really need to get back to the surface. This lunch break has been going on a little long. I’ll see you later.” She turned around saying her goodbyes to Sigewinne and Ottnit before leaving the infirmary.
Wriothesley hadn’t even noticed how his eyes hadn’t left her till she was out of sight.
Ottnit sighed shaking her head. “You were right.”
Sigewinne smiled knowing she just won herself even more stickers. “When do you plan on asking her out?”
His head turned over to her. “Forty-five stickers. You get no say in this right now.”
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laracrofted · 11 months
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supernova
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synopsis: in a game of truth or dare, you reveal your dream threesome.
pairings: natasha trace x fem!reader x bob floyd
warnings: 18+ minors dni, ageless blogs that interact will be blocked, explicit smut (f/f/m threesome, oral sex, unprotected sex, blink and miss it choking, sort of dom phoenix, edging, cum eating, orgasm denial, overstimulation) and like, swearing lmao (wc: 3.2K)
notes: a little something something for my fellow bisexuals during pride month 🌈 and yes, i defeated awful writer's block with horniness and so can you 💖
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much love to @sushiwriterhere @theharddeck @sometimesanalice and @roosterbruiser for letting me bounce many depraved thoughts off of them and i'm summoning a few people who might be interested: @princessphilly @seresinsweetie @rhettabbotts @lewmagoo @bradshawsbitch @i-wanna-be-your-muse @sebsxphia and also no one look at me
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“Anyone would want to sleep with me. I’m the most fuckable person in this room. Ask anyone.”  
"What's Hangman so up in arms about now?" Phoenix asks, sounding unimpressed. She leans against the pool cue, waiting for Fanboy to make his shot, and cracks her knuckles with one hand.
You shrug. "Who knows."
Honestly, you can't even remember who made the comment that got him so worked up, so defensive over his own sex appeal. His general fuckability – which as a side note, you're pretty sure is not a real word.
Maybe Rooster, actually probably Rooster.
Regardless, Hangman has decided to make them all suffer the consequences, going on and on and on.
"Fine," Rooster manages, choking down a laugh, almost always given away in the unmistakable twitching of the overgrown ferret on his upper lip. "Go ahead. Ask anyone then, Hangman. This will be good."
You are minding your own goddamn business in the corner of the common room, sipping a canned red wine that isn't half bad for the price. It is sweet, a little bubbly, pleasant.
You press your lips against the cool edge and are in the middle of a sip when Hangman catches your eye, a sharklike gleam in his green eyes.
Is it worse to make eye contact or break it? Is that bears or sharks who see it as a challenge?
And in truth, Hangman is neither. He's more or less harmless with a sometimes sharp bite.
You lower the can, slow and suspicious, narrowing your eyes at him with a raised brow. “Can I help you, Hangman?”  
Smirking, Hangman drawls, “You owe me a truth from earlier, ain't that right? You ran out on the game before I could get my question out."
You roll out a red carpet of curses in your brain and swallow another mouthful of the sweet red wine.
You'd gotten a call from the Domino's driver to come down and grab the pizzas from the front door before Hangman could ask whatever pointed – and alarmingly observant – question had popped into his scheming brain.
Everyone else has forgotten the game with some pizza in their stomach and a basketball game on the big screen, but clearly, Hangman has a good memory. Bastard. 
"Fine. Hit me with your best shot, Hangman."
Fire away and all that.
His canines are gleaming white. "Who would you most want to have sex with in this room? No, wait, I should give everyone a fair chance of selection. Pick two."
"Together? Or separate?"
His brows raise, and Hangman's smirk deepens. "Well, damn. Someone's a little adventurous." Your eyes are practically slits now, staring him down. "Together. Who would you have a threesome with in this room? And unfortunately, no, I don't have a twin."
“My nightmare,” Phoenix mutters, and Fanboy shakes with silent laughter.
“Hmmm…” 
An answer had popped into your head the second that Hangman asked, but in the name of suspense, you pretend to mull it over and really contemplate.
You look around the room. Halo and Fritz are on the sagging couch with Yale and Harvard in the opposite chairs, watching the game too closely to overhear this cursed conversation.
Bob and Fanboy are strategizing in the corner, but Bob is definitely listening. His shoulders don't look quite natural.
Across the pool table, Payback shows you his wedding band with a faux scolding expression. You grin.
“I guess I'd have to pick... Phoenix and Bob."
Rooster absolutely crows with laughter as Hangman goes into a full control-alt-delete shut down and reboot, blankly staring at you with disbelieving eyes and a slack jaw.
Someone should commemorate this moment. Add it to one of the frames in the Ready Room. 
"Are you malfunctioning?" You drain the rest of the wine and drop the can into the nearest recycling bin. "You know I'm bisexual, right, Hangman?"
"But Phoenix and Bob?" Hangman splutters, as if recovering from an ordeal with a capital O. "I need the reason. Why would you pick them?"
You glance over at Phoenix, who is regarding both of them with a smug smirk. You don't dare look at Bob right now.
You smile, radiant and knowing, with a “Follow up questions aren’t part of the game, Hangman,” and breeze across the room for another can of wine, patting him on the shoulder.
"So..."
Five or so minutes later, Phoenix sidles up to you and sits on the arm of your chair, ignoring the perfectly good and empty chair in the corner. Her boot brushes against your leg.
She leans in, and Phoenix's familiar vanilla and amber scent washes over you.
"Am I allowed to ask a follow question?" A nod, and Phoenix looks kind of self-satisfied. Kind of smug. "Did you mean it? Or were you just kicking the chair out from under Hangman? Because..." She lowers her voice, all smoke and velvet. "I had fun with you before. Just us."
"Both..." You pause. "I kind of wanted to knock him on his ass, but also, I was very much serious."
Her smile widens, and Phoenix leans in more, brushing the shell of your ear in a puff of warm breath. "Meet me in my room in 20 minutes."
Her canine grazes your earlobe for a brief second.
You blink, dazed, and Phoenix is already walking away.
"What about...?"
What about Bob? is the question on the tip of your tongue, but obviously, you can't call that out in this room. He is still here somewhere.
She looks over her shoulder, dark eyes warm with want and promise, and mouths, "20," with a wink.
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A little over 20 minutes later, Phoenix has your wrists pinned down on her soft sheets, nudging under your chin with her slender nose in search of the sensitive spot on the side of your neck.
Her bottom lip drags against it.
You bite down on a moan, and in retaliation, Phoenix bites the spot harder.
"I want to hear you," Phoenix murmurs, an order wrapped in a pretty bow. "You sound so pretty, angel."
She kisses you again and sucks your bottom lip between hers, making it impossible to bite down on.
And with intent, Phoenix slides a smooth thigh between your legs, dragging her knee against the red flash of fabric that covers your cunt and grinds down.
"Come on. Let me hear you."
A drawn out moan escapes your mouth, and right then, Bob walks in.
He closes the door behind him, oblivious, and then, spots you both and freezes.
"Phoenix?" Bob manages, sounding uncertain. His eyes are wide and blue behind the wire frames. "You said 30 minutes, right? Should I – I can come back. We can catch up another time."
Despite the words, Bob doesn't move. He looks down, cheeks pink and flushed, but doesn't move.
"Don't worry, Bob." Phoenix releases your arms and climbs over the edge of the mattress with a smile. Walks over to him in an electric blue bra and underwear set that looks downright radiant against her dark hair. 
She looks like a goddess. 
"You want him here, don't you, angel?"
She circles behind him, sliding the plaid button-down shirt from his broad shoulders. It crumples to the carpet without resistance as Bob raises his chin and meets your eyes.
"You told me before," Phoenix prompts. "Tell him."
He is watching you, waiting on your answer with bated breath.
A long breath releases from your mouth. 
You push up on your elbows, then your knees, wanting to see him more clearly.
“Earlier with Hangman… I wasn't kidding when I said I wanted both of you. I want you – both of you – to fuck me."
His Adam’s apple moves as Bob swallows, sudden and hard.
He looks surprised. He shouldn't be.
He's always felt a little out of reach, so damn nice. You didn’t want to freak him out – or worse, offend him with a casual invitation to very casually fuck your brains out and maybe, let you suck his cock before or afterward.
You’re not picky. Whatever works for him.
You were pretty sure Bob was at least a little interested, but now... Bob only stares.
Phoenix gives him a gentle push and strolls over to the record player. She looks casual and languid, flipping through the records, but you're not so fooled. She's giving him a moment alone with you.
"Phoenix and I have... before, but I want you as much as I want her. Do you want me? is the only question, I guess."
He coughs into his elbow, messing with his lenses, which are fogging every so slightly. "I do. You're very pretty and nice, and I've... I mean, I do want you."
A smile dimples your cheek. "Oh, I'm pretty and nice, am I?"
"Shut up," Bob mutters under his breath with a slight smile. His ears are a little red.
You reach out and pull him closer to the mattress, pulling until Bob has to plant a knee on the edge to keep his balance. He watches you with wide eyes and says your name in a rush of breath – like a sharp wind over the ocean – and leans in, gravitating.
He cups your chin, slow and careful, pulling you in for a slow kiss that fizzles in your bloodstream like champagne. He is still giving you ample time to pull back and change your mind.
You deepen the kiss, even as Bob holds back.
You're still not sure Bob believes you.
Music swells from the corner, slow and sultry and sensual, as Phoenix settles behind you. She unlatches your bra and pushes it from your shoulders, running her fingers in soothing circles over the muscles.
She reaches between you and him, moving to cup your breasts, but at the last second, Phoenix skims her hand down the curve of your stomach and down and down, dipping under the waistband of your panties.
Clever fingers glide through your wetness, glancing off your clit in a tease that makes you whimper into Bob's mouth. A satisfied hum vibrates your back.
"So wet already, darling. We haven't done anything other than kiss you. You must really want us," Phoenix murmurs, warm against your ear, licking the sensitive patch of your neck again. "Come here, Bob."
She pulls you back from him with a hand around your throat – squeezing once, hard enough to make you feel light all over – and puts her glistening fingers in his open mouth.
His moan makes you even wetter.
You watch, breathless, as Bob closes his eyes and licks your taste from her fingers. His pupils are blown, eyes almost black, when Bob opens his eyes again.
His groan against your mouth is a rough sound, drawn out and unrepentant. He kisses you like religion, like a prayer.
Phoenix's voice is smug in your ear. "He believes me now."
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You've been paired with Bob and Phoenix on enough exercises to know that the Naval aviators are an unstoppable pair in the air, cutting through the skies with grace and precision.
You'd imagined – more than once – that Bob and Phoenix would be an unstoppable pair in the bedroom as well. Sue you, okay? Who wouldn't?
Phoenix had been a force on her own, pinning you down and making your thighs shake over her shoulders; coaxing you to the edge and kicking you over without warning with a razor sharp smile that bordered on mean.
Bob always seemed so quiet. Seemed so unassuming.
But Bob dated, and on the one and only occasion the WSO brought a date back to the shared apartment complex, all of the Daggers had heard about the dying cat sounds that'd been loud enough to bleed through the walls. Hangman had been relentless.
You were seemingly the only one who could put the admittedly horrendous moaning aside and remember the other sounds.
(Oh, oh, Bob, oh, Bob. Fuck me. So good.)
You knew Phoenix was good in bed.
You had a feeling about Bob.
Together?
You were absolutely and without a shadow of a doubt right.
Phoenix is in the backseat for once but never ever on the sidelines. She seems to sense that the WSO might still need more reassurance, might need some control to feel wanted here.
She focuses on you, nibbling your neck and pinching your aching nipples, as Bob rests on the red and orange pillows, watching you swallow his cock, mesmerized.
You pull back, keeping him half in your mouth and circling his base with your hands, and run your tongue along the sensitive underside of him.
He bobs in your mouth, letting out a rough curse.
"Are you sure?" Bob had asked before, stilling the hands that were reaching for his zipper, running a thumb across the veins at the base of your wrist. "We can start with something else. I don't want you to feel pressure."
"Positive. I've wanted to suck your cock for about six months now."
He blinked, looking even more owlish with his glasses on the nightstand. "Six months? You've only been here for like six months."
You cut in, "And I wanted to suck your cock the whole damn time. Any other questions?"
He audibly swallowed, and Phoenix grinned.
You could easily get lost in him – lose minutes, even hours with the weight of him on your tongue and the sound of his broken moans in your ears – but Phoenix is too impatient to let that happen.
She nudges your soaked underwear to the side and pushes one, two, three of her fingers inside of you. You're wet enough that Phoenix doesn't meet any resistance.
"She's so fucking wet for you, Bob. Jesus Christ," Phoenix moans. A wet kiss is pressed into the curve of your shoulder, against the nape of your neck. "Should I make her come?"
God... and Phoenix says it like, What do you think, Bob? Am I clear? Should I take the shot?, in the same voice from the air. Asking him to weigh the pros and cons. Deferring to his decision.
You'll never be able to be paired with them on a drill again and not remember.
You would breathe a sigh of relief when Bob nods, except for... well, obvious reasons. You swallow around him, and Bob leaks against the back of your throat.
You're already aching, and Phoenix is pressing the heel of her palm against your clit. Pleasure is building in the pit of your stomach, and you need, you need, you –
"Or..." Phoenix drawls, easing up on the pressure, all casual and unaffected. She works you open, steady and constant, pinching the thigh that tries to rock you against her hand. "I could edge her for you. Make her wait to come on your cock."
God, Phoenix can be mean in bed. You'd almost forgotten.
You kind of hate her for it right now.
(You really don't.)
You whimper around Bob's cock and clench around Phoenix's fingers at the same time, digging your nails into the pale skin of Bob's muscular thighs, already bruised with a small love bite from earlier.
An abrupt fuck spills from Bob's bitten lips.
He pulls out of your mouth without warning, squeezing a hand around his base and screwing his eyes closed to keep from coming right then and there.
"Jesus Christ, Phoenix."
"So Bob seems to like that idea," Phoenix observes, almost conspiratorially. Her fingers catch your chin. "What about you, pretty girl? You want to come now or on Bob's cock?"
You are a little out of breath but no less certain.
"Do I even have to answer that?"
As a reward, Phoenix slips her tongue in your mouth and starts all over again, ever careful to pull back at the exact right moment when your breaths are short and your gaze is glassy and unfocused.
You are shaking and warm all over when Phoenix is satisfied, running her fingers through the arousal that slicks the inside of your thighs, underwear long discarded on the floor somewhere now.
"Can I..."
You are on your back now, and Bob leans over and sucks your nipples in his mouth. You lose focus, running your fingers over the hard length of him, smearing his pre-cum over the head.
"Can you what?" Phoenix prompts, ghosting a knuckle over your swollen clit. You quiver.
"I want to eat you out. Didn't get to do that last time, remember?"
You seize Bob's shoulder, keeping him pressed against your chest, and Bob makes a pleased sound, content to lavish your breasts with licks and nibbles right now.
You continue, "I want to eat you out while Bob fucks me."
"Well," Phoenix replies, breezily, brushing her hair over her shoulder and bends to suck on your other nipple. "We can probably make that work."
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"Fuck," Bob breathes again.
You've never heard him curse so much, not even in actual missions.
A content sigh pushes everything else from your brain.
You lick at Phoenix again, licking a stripe up the center of her cunt, drowning in the warmth and silk, as Bob pushes into you from behind, bare and hard and so goddamn big.
Fuck is right.
"God..." Bob moans against your damp skin, pulling out and easing back in again. His accent comes out in bits and pieces, smoothing the edges from his words. "Feel so good. S'good for me. So good for us, darlin'."
You melt at the praise and nuzzle deeper into Phoenix with a sigh of pleasure, circling her clit with a content hum that makes her breath go all uneven and shuddering.
Satisfaction slides down your spine, warm and consuming.
You could stay here for hours between them. You would.
She's quick to instruct and correct, but once you're in a rhythm with your fingers hooked inside, Phoenix is nothing but moans and sighs and oh god, so good, oh god.
She comes in your mouth with a sharp gasp and rolls out from under you, which leaves Bob with enough room to double his efforts now.
He presses praise against your neck, circling his fingers around your clit with precision and attention; urging you to come for him with gentle pleas and deep thrusts and blissfully, a well-placed palm against your aching cunt.
You shatter around him as Bob spills inside of you.
Oh my god are the only words that are forming in your head right now. You want to say something else.
Holy shit maybe.
We should definitely do that again even.
But Phoenix doesn't give you even a second of peace.
"You're a mess, angel," Phoenix comments, light and almost mocking. She spreads your legs wide and looks you over. "Let me."
You expect Phoenix to wipe you down, but instead, Natasha presses her mouth against your sensitive cunt.
Stars erupt in your vision. Galaxies.
She licks and licks every inch of you, holding down your shaking legs, until you come again, damn near crying from the overstimulation, shuddering.
Wetness dampens the sheets underneath you, and Phoenix licks the cum that drips down your legs, some yours, some Bob's, and kisses you right on the mouth.
You definitely mean to get your clothes and pee and everything after, but Bob is warm against your side. He nuzzles into the crook of your neck and passes out with an arm across your chest.
Sleep pulls you under soon after.
Phoenix is the first one to leave the bed and even then, only to put on a quieter record and go right back.
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note: is she the filthiest smut piece i've ever written? maybe. she's named after red wine supernova by chappell roan, which is so fun and so queer and worth a listen 💖 leave a comment before i regain an ounce of shame.
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flawseer · 7 months
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On seawing insults...
My partner @flamebringer0 has seemingly been busy writing down a bunch of his WoF headcanons, so I figured I should write down one of mine too. No, I don't claim this to be canon in any shape; I just like thinking about this kind of stuff.
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Setting aside the more recent, squid and shark-themed additions to the vocabulary courtesy of a certain foul-mouthed princess, classic seawing insults are infamous among the pyrrhian populace as being rather underwhelming. If you were to get into an argument with an elderly seawing and push them over the edge, you may find yourself getting called a "clam stack", a "flat rock with kelp growing on both sides", or something similarly innocuous-sounding that'll leave you more confused than offended. Their apparent lack of potent zingers has given seawings a reputation among the other tribes (especially with sandwings) as mild-mannered fogeys with no bite in them.
Are seawings just an unfathomably lame cabal of fops, perhaps even the most boring tribe on the entire continent? Of course not! As it turns out, these seemingly harmless phrases are incredibly offensive... if you say them in Aquatic, that is. Uttering these mild expressions in the seawing luminescent language happens to result in exceptionally harsh blinking and flashing patterns that irritate your eyes if you look at them directly. Flashing them directly into someone else's face is sure to ruin their day, because they may spend the rest of it with a throbbing headache. So the next time you're at a tavern and a seawing calls you an "even-clawed crab", be thankful they happen to be talking with their mouth.
As a side effect, this linguistic eccentricity has caused some seawings who are particularly traditionalist or were raised in strict households to completely avoid these expressions, even while speaking verbally and in a non-aggressive context. You will catch them awkwardly dancing around using certain words, opting to make up new, stilted descriptors to avoid embarrassment. If you see a seawing suddenly hesitating mid-sentence and seeming unable to "spit it out", chances are this is what is happening. So do the right thing and be kind and understanding. Or don't, if the alternative is really funny.
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