#has decided that this man has IMMENSE mommy issues

[lmelodie]

The Four Seasons

Aka: Things About Jack and Mother Nature That I Totally Made Up But Drive Me Absolutely CRAZY BATSHIT INSANE. For Mother's Day!

Jack learned how to avalanche surf from her. He saw her surf down a massive rockslide once and went I WANNA DO THAT! SHOW ME NOW!!

The one and only ability that they share in its entirety is Wind Shifting (turning one's form into wind/air fronts). Mother Nature has a lot of variations of this ability, with leaves and petals and clouds and such, while Jack just has the snowy version.

And this is the first ability she ever taught him, out of necessity for fast travel when taking over seasonal duties.

They used to go for casual flights like this, and the whispering winds myth came about from these two talking while flying.

The other very small thing that they share is that Jack can actually hear Evergreens! In the same way that MN can hear all plants/flora, Jack has the same thing but only with evergreens, and very very faintly with mountains. But only if he sits up at a certain altitude where it snows, and only then it's more like a murmur.

Using the wind power thing, Jack has actually broken MN's wind speed record ONCE (1). He got real buck wild during the Blizzard of 1934 in Washington that year and capped out at 231 mph.

But he was such an ANNOYING SORE WINNER about it for actual DECADES that Mother Nature shut him right the hell up and beat THAT record with her own 253 mph winds in Australia and 1996. She still reigns supreme to this day.

Father Time sees a lot of similarities between the two and often regards both their intelligence and ambition as the most obvious to him.

Mother Nature got Jack into music/singing. There's a whole passage about how this came about reserved for the CC finale but it's my favorite thing.

They both cannot STAND the groundhog. He's a magical enigma and buts in with his own weather advice and annoy the both of them to no end.

When Jack was created Mother Nature's temperature regulation went kinda out of whack, so without any winter magic in her system she tends to run warm and is prone to heat flashes and overheats easier than before (Exacerbated by global warming).

She's the one that got him into music/singing when he was still very young, before he could permafrost. He got hooked on it as an art form/hobby from the beginning and I have a little passage about it right here! It's meant to show up somewhere in the CC finale but it's actually my favorite thing.

She doesn't sing very much at all in public, not for an audience at any rate. It’s mostly reserved as a self-soothing habit she indulges in when alone. But the crowd tonight is amped, and they haven't heard her sing in centuries, in this instance it would be impossible to say no. The soft piano and building orchestrals cue her intro and the collective skins of all who were present ignited with goosebumps. Shivers up spines and a pang in their chests. The heavens open. The instrumental in the background gives way and makes room for her voice. Confidently ringing out to all corners of the tower with a powerful vibrato. But it also carries a sad current of sentimentality that softens the edge just a bit. Lucy and Charlie were just as enthralled as the rest of the public, not even daring to utter a noise during any of this. But Jack standing next to them was frozen in place, haunted looking.  A deep and ancient recognition lighting his eyes, a voice from his “youth” he never truly forgot but hasn't heard in a long time. Too long. Hearing every word as if it was the only noise in the room, forgetting where he actually was for just a moment. An instant, catapulted back in time. Shaking him to his severed core. He went looking for Mother Nature for a reason that has been lost to him for millennia, went searching for her in the meadows she frequents but he found Father Time instead. He was sitting on the ground with his back against a large birch tucked in the tree line, his eyes peacefully closed.  Jack was not afraid about ruining his moment and was going to ask where the council head had gone to but was promptly shushed by Father Time’s staff waving at him. He didn't say anything but put a single finger to his lips and mimed for him to listen. It took him a few attempts at starting a sentence before he finally kept quiet. And when he stopped, and strained, this was the voice he heard. Dulled by some innocuous distance away, but a voice like liquid gold that resonated with something intrinsic in his being that he could not explain. With only the birds and the breeze as her accompaniment.  A voice, a song that he couldn't forget if he tried. He remembers sitting with Father Time and just, listening to her sing. A habit that Mother Nature couldn't ever shake and a guilty pleasure that Father Time had developed. To sit and listen to her when she was harmlessly unaware.  Jack remembers that moment, that single instance of secretly listening to the woman sing, clear as still water. One never really forgets a moment such as that when their mother is the central pillar of their whole world. The awe of the moment crashes into him again in the present, causing his heart to skip a beat when the instruments fade back in. But the scariest thing was how unchanged she sounds. His memory of a time he used to wish long forgotten was still perfectly correct. She sounds incredible.

[nucleargnocchi]

In defense of Despicable Me 3

It has taken me FOREVER to get to this and I can no longer find the ask but! @squidsandthings, to answer your question of what's up with Despicable Me 3, the plain truth of it is that it is simply the pinnacle of film. Most people think it's a classic case of a company wringing every drop of profit they can from a movie that saw commercial success, dragging it out further and further with each sequel until the plot is so attenuated you can barely see it, the concept is so inane you lose brain cells watching it, and the characters are so two-dimensional they are undoubtably relatives of Stanley. But I say it's cinema at its finest. I will try to make this short, but brevity is nigh impossible when extolling the virtues of Despicable Me 3.

To start, Gru is the morally gray anti-hero this generation needs: an ingenius villain with something to prove (he has mommy issues), yet a tender family man at heart. He yearns for his past life, for the thrill of heists and gadgets and gizmos, but recognizes that he now has joys and responsibilities (the gorls) and must struggle to tame his nostalgia.

Dru, Gru's long-lost twin brother with the most luscious blond hair you've ever seen, is the hot to Gru's cold, the high to his low, the piliferously well-endowed to his follically challenged. Dru has all the charisma and charm that Gru lacks, but he is bumbling and incompetent when it comes to heisting. Yet, despite it all, he desperately wants to follow in his (and Gru's) recently deceased father's legacy of villainy, to make him posthumously proud.

The gorls are growing up: Margo receives a proposal from a boy with limp cheese and a pig, Edith remains surly yet reveals her caring nature as she accompanies Agnes to find a unicorn, and Agnes herself remains a paragon of hope and childlike wonder despite learning that unicorns aren't real, choosing to embrace a one-horned goat in what is possibly a biblical allusion to finding the beauty in imperfection. All the while, the gorls are figuring out what a relationship with their step-mom Lucy looks like, and Lucy in turn is learning what it means to be a mother.

The minions, upset with the dangerous labor conditions (Dr. Nefario was accidentally frozen in carbonite) and unfulfilling work (not evil), decide to unionize in a powerful example of proletariat uprising. Unfortunately, they later get imprisoned for stealing pizza after enthralling fictional and real-life audience members alike by performing a spectacular impromptu rendition of the Major-general's Song on a live singing competition. They then stage a jailbreak like the radical prison abolitionists they are and find their way back to continue a life of crime with Dru.

With such a star-studded cast of characters, you'd think there would be no way to steal the spotlight, but the antagonist, Balthazar Bratt, manages to outshine them all. Bratt is nuanced and realistic with a tragic, compelling backstory (teenage acne) who clings to a delusion of fame after his TV show as a child actor was canceled. He is stylish and funky, bringing all the best parts of the '80s back to life with his superior sense of fashion (I mean, who else can pull off spiky purple shoulderpads and not look monstrous?), immense bravery (he sports a spiky, gleaming mullet despite his large bald patch), and multipurpose choice of weaponry (keytar that emits waves of sonic energy strong enough to blow not just your socks, but all of your clothes off to the tune of Van Halen's "Jump").

In all, Despicable Me 3 is undoubtably a cinematic masterpiece through and through.

Also, it's an inside joke with my cousin that I've taken waaaay too far.

[venusluvrr]

The Psychological Horror Manhwa “Killing Stalking” is not a Romance, but an Emotional Series Depicting the Codependent Relationship Between Two Ill Individuals

Content Warning!!: contains mentions of sexual abuse (rape) and mental illness.

Killing Stalking is an immensely twisted webcomic series, mainly popular within the Yaoi community for its boy on boy focused plotline. The story follows characters Yoon Bum (Bum), a shy, scrawny young man with a haunting past filled with abuse, and Oh Sangwoo (Sangwoo), a younger man who also has a quite damaging upbringing but masks it perfectly with his vibrant, extroverted personality. After being saved from a rape attempt during his time serving in the military, Bum develops a crush on his saviour, Sangwoo, from which an unhealthy obsession starts to arise and he eventually finds himself locating and breaking into the man’s home one day when he’s out. When he does, he discovers a terribly injured woman being held captive in his basement, and with further evidence, soon comes to the realization that his crush is actually a serial killer -- hence the name “Killing Stalking,” as Sangwoo kills and Bum stalks. For a very specific reason though, Sangwoo decides not to kill the man that had been stalking him, and instead holds him hostage in his custody. From here, the story goes into exceeding depth of the abnormal, toxic, and manipulative relationship the two form during their time spent together. By just the mere description of it, it’s a bit concerning to know that a large portion of readers still support Sangwoo and Bum’s relationship. In other words, they believe they truly loved each other and that the story was not only horror fiction but a romance as well. One could easily come to this conclusion by basing their relationship on the few parts within the novel where they showed affection towards each other -- for example when Bum allows Sangwoo to hug him to sleep when he suffered through the night, or my personal favourite, when Sangwoo buys Bum a stuffed frog keychain after finding out that he had an affinity for such creatures. But we cannot simply dismiss the underlying factors of their relationship because of some cute things they did that made our heart melt -- Sangwoo still abused Bum at his leisure which makes those moments quite meaningless in the sense of it all. What Sangwoo and Yoonbum shared can’t be classified as “love,” because even with their peculiar bond and endearing moments, the psychological damage they both endured played a bigger part in the way they perceived each other.

Many toxic relationships start out lovely and glamorous until the couple have become comfortable enough to start revealing some bad habits, but in Sangwoo and Bum’s case, they were already off to a bad start, as the reason they remained with each other was solely for reasons pertaining to their poor mental health.

At the time Sangwoo saved Bum in the military, Bum still suffered from Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) -- a disorder he inferrably developed due to the fact that he grew up being constantly physically and sexually abused by the people around him. People with this illness may easily develop an infatuation for a person who shows them even the least bit of care; It can reach the point where they begin to idolize them and see them almost as a perfect human being -- which is exactly how Bum viewed Sangwoo after he helped him to escape a rape attempt. The likely specific term for what Sangwoo was to Bum is a Favourite Person (FP). To an individual suffering from Borderline Personality Disorder, their FP is everything -- their self-worth, identity and emotional dependency all rely on this one person, making them the center of their lives. In contrast to this sincere fondness, the only reason Sangwoo kept Bum alive was because of the man’s resemblance to his late mother -- the one person in his life who he truly loved. While his father was abusive and negligent, his mother tried her best to care for her son even while her own mental stability wasn’t so great either. Even though it was implied that he was responsible for the murder of both his mother and father in high school -- getting away with it scotch-free because of how perfectly executed his plan was -- he still shared a special bond with the woman, allowing her existence follow and continue to torutue him mentally as he grew older. When he saw Yoonbum, he felt as if she had been somewhat resurrected, or at least he could pretend so by dressing him up in his mother’s clothes and making him cook and do the chores; He also played the husband role by abusing and assaulting Bum just as his father did to his mother -- mostly just out of his own nature. Sangwoo had his own issues, “mommy issues,” and he initially needed to keep Bum alive so he could fulfill his own longing desires. Knowing the man’s character though, things wouldn’t end there and instead headed down a very gruesome and frightful path.

The very reasons that the two were drawn to each other we’re even more evident the longer they lived under the same roof. While Yoonbum continued to recall the perfect image he had of Sangwoo in his head, Sangwoo continued to manipulate the man in order to satisfy his own needs. A healthy relationship cannot be based on deceit, because one person will end up victimized instead of loved.

Oh Sangwoo is a sadistic sociopath with a history of kidnapping, abusing, raping and torturing innocent people, and because of his illness, he shows feels and shows no remorse for his actions and even proceeds to kill off his victims as they pleaded in objection. What some people don’t understand is that when Sangwoo met Bum, the only reason he treated him differently was not because he thought of him as special, but because he had a personal agenda that included making Bum think that was the truth and that he was indeed the favoured victim among many. It’s no surprise with the man’s manipulative personality that he would enjoy planting a lie in Bum’s head to make him stay and continue to do as he says, and this is confirmed whenever he returned back to his old destructive habits even after showing the man acts of affection. Yes, Sangwoo spared Bum’s life, clothed him and fed him, but as their bond grew, his narcissistic attitude was still more apparent than ever.

Upon meeting Bum for the first time, Sangwoo didn’t hesitate to aggressively break his ankles to prevent his mobility, he left the man within the dark confinement of his basement for a certain period of time before letting him out only after he had gained his trust. He made him sit in a chair to wash dishes and make dinner because he could no longer stand. Sangwoo also constantly dragged Bum down with derogatory words and statements every chance he could get, this included calling him a “retard,” and referring to him as a “disgusting” and “filthy” human being. As confirmed by the author, Sangwoo is also heterosexual, which is further proved by the homophobic remarks he made towards a significantly older man who was sexually attracted to him while murdering him with Bum’s aid. This fact alone is another one that should justify a strong point that demonstrates the true hostility of their relationship -- Yoonbum never gave his consent to have sex with Sangwoo, nor did he allow it to happen because “he wanted it.” He specifically used phrases such as, “No,” “Stop,” and “It hurts,” implying that sometimes there was no mutual agreement when they had sex and Sangwoo had actually raped him several times.

People with Borderline Personality Disorder have been reported to have difficulties seeing the faults in their partner -- this explains why Bum still held on to him. He chose to stay when he had the chance to escape, and with tears rolling down his face from excruciating pain he still told Sangwoo he loved him. In a scene where Bum is left alone with the police as they investigate the suspicions they have surrounding him, he questions them saying, “Could you kiss somebody like me? Could you love somebody like me?” As he believes nobody but Sangwoo could answer yes to those two questions, convinced that Sangwoo really does have feelings for him. It’s saddening to know that the poor man had successfully been lured into a trap, and because of his mental health it would be much harder for him to realize it.

To the readers that think, “Sangwoo and Yoonbum needed each other,” -- You’re not completely wrong. They did need each other in the way that they found somewhat of a saneness from each other’s presence, each using one another to each other’s benefit. But being together at the same time built on their insanity, as the presence of Sangwoo’s mother seemed to grow even more prevalent with Bum, who resembled her, also in the picture, and Yoonbum growing so unhealthily attached to Sangwoo that he constantly feared of abandonment and turned the sociopath into the only source of his happiness. They needed each other, but not for the right reasons. They were attached to each other, but there was no love, otherwise it would reflect throughout the story. One of the most debate-worthy scenes that challenge this fact is when Sangwoo is reported by an old lady in the hospital, the one that had ended his life, that he was calling out Bum’s name throughout the night as he lay in his deathbed. Those were his final words, and Yoonbum’s final word was also Sangwoo’s name before he was very well implied to have been hit by a car while he chased an illusion of the man he “loved.” Even I almost felt that this was solid proof that even through the tough and terrible of their relationship, deep inside, the two really were in love but could not express it in the right way due to their mental health issues -- after all, what someone makes of their final moments before death is much more meaningful than most of what they've done in their life entirely. But I came to realize that the only way I could support this relationship would be if they had met in an alternate universe where they did not suffer from such dreadful childhood trauma that made them into the hurting individual they had become before meeting each other. As difficult as it is for me to picture the two with different partners, it would be best if the two had not met at all as they only fed into the severity of their conditions.

[grellestan]

Not As Beautiful As You- Tamaki/Kyoya OHSHC Oneshot

“We’re going camping!”

Tamaki’s excited cry was met with the faintest ripple of acknowledgement. Seven glances were shot his way, but nobody stopped what they were doing or even praised- or more likely, disapproved the idea. Not even Honey paused eating his cake, just blinked and looked up at Mori with an eyerow raised.

The prince scowled at the blank room.

“I said, we’re going camping!”

Haruhi wearily turned towards him, raising her head out of her book. “Senpai, yesterday you said we’d go to the zoo. The day before that, it was paintballing. And last week, you were going on and on about… what was it again?”

“The Bahamas,” Kyoya chimed in, his glasses reflecting the light in a chilling fashion as he looked up. “Where you expect some of our members to get the funding for that is beyond me.” Haruhi winced at the pointed statement. Tamaki took zero notice.

“Oh please, this time is different! See, Kyoya’s family has just bought an acre of land, a forest with a simply beautiful lake flowing through it to build a campsite! Ah, it is most lovely there, almost as gorgeous as me!” Tamaki spun around, producing a rose from his lapel, just to embellish his point.

“We could even do it the way the commoners do! In a tent, with sleeping bags, as an homage to our own commoner!”

He looked around again, expecting some kind of a reaction, before sighing at the blank looks, and slumping to the ground to begin growing mushrooms. Kyoya stared disdainfully at him for a second, praying the idea would be dropped for not wanting to bother hs father by using the not-yet-opened facilities.

No sooner had he fell, however, a grinding of gears and a familiar, shrieking laugh pierced the air. Renge appeared from under the floor in a bright pink, glittery parka and canary wellington boots, clutching a tent bag and sitting on a camping chair. Haruhi did a double take, still not entirely used to the stunts that the club somehow found a way to both fund and pull off without failure.

“Ahahahaha! How foolish you all are for not heeding this idiot’s words! He’s usually a totally terrible excuse of a leader, but he’s onto something with this plan!” She brandished an umbrella from inside her parka, and pointed it at Kyoya. “Kyoya-Senpai! Don’t you see this could be a brilliant marketing scheme? All the outdoor photo shoots and camping brands you could be promoting in exchange for club funding?”

She was right- even Kyoya couldn’t shoot this down. The twins had already started to jump on the idea, joining Renge on her pedestal. Somehow, they were both already in hiking boots and waterproof trousers.

“She’s right.”

From the back of the room, even Mori had put in his twopence. Kyoya couldn’t deny it- it was a perfect way to generate some funding for the club. He gave a tired smile, and made some quick notes down on his clipboard. The whole room was looking towards him now, waiting for approval from the man. Kyoya drew in a long breath. “Fine, you lot. I’ll work my father and make him come around to the plan.”

His statement was met with cheers from the members. Haruhi glanced at everyone, still dumbfounded by how quickly situations at the club could change. How was the place even real, with this level of madness? She was lost in thought when she felt Kyoya’s breath on her cheek.

“Not to worry, Haruhi. I’ll add your expenses to your debt.” She rolled her eyes. He was never going to let that debt go.

The issue of tent-mates had occurred almost as soon as the group of loveable idiots arrived at the Ootori family’s luxury campsite. The twins had attempted to purloin Haruhi into their tent, insisting that they “definitely had space for all 3!”, much to Tamaki’s disdain. Haruhi had taken none of this, and stated calmly that she and Renge had already agreed to share together.

Really, Haruh enjoyed the twins’ antics and knew nothing bad would ever come of hanging out with them, but if Ranka had caught wind that her sweet daughter was camping out with filthy boys Haruhi would never hear the end of it.

After squabbling for a half hour, it was decided that the twins would stay in one tent, Haruhi and Renge in another, Mori and Honey would steal the luxury camper that Kyoya had planned on using alone, and he would be left in the last and smallest tent with Tamaki.

It wasn’t the worst arrangement, and it was only for a night. Kyoya couldn’t help feeling slightly bitter about his campervan, but it would be better for him to stay with Tamaki, however cramped, rather than incur the wrath of a sleepy Honey-Senpai.

It took them a further 3 hours to set up the tents, while Honey and Mori watched them all struggle from the comfort of the van. Tamaki had refused to use the pre-set-up tents that the Ootori family staff would provide, saying that he “needed the full commoner experience”. It went without saying that he would come to regret this immensely, having multiple temper tantrums when the flimsy tent material wouldn’t bend to his will. Renge and Haruhi were a surprisingly nimble and efficient tem when it came to the construction of their tent, and they ended up begrudgingly setting up Kyoya and Tamaki’s after a flood of begging and crocodile tears from the boss. Kyoya had refused to help with any of the tent-building process, under the grounds that it wasn’t his job after he had managed to wrangle the whole campsite for them to roam for pratically no fee. By no fee, he meant affordable for all club members besides Haruhi, for whom it was an unspeakable amount.

During the tent session, Honey and Mori had dug a pit and had started collecting firewood for a campfire. Rather, Mori collected wood, and Honey found sticks that were the perfect size for roasting marshmallows- “A total essential for the outdoors!” -and organised the snacks he’d stashed in his bag for that evening. By the time the tents were set up in a neat semicircle, there was a roaring fire and even wide logs for them to sit on around it that had been dragged around the woods by Mori.

Their campsite overlooked the still lake, and the moon reflected high in the sky above the friends. Fireflies buzzed around and glowed gold in the night, hovering just above the fire’s smoke, their light bouncing off the group’s faces. Their cheeks and noses were pink with cold and they were huddled under layers upon layers of blankets. Tamaki was sittig next to Kyoya, squashed against him penguin style, sharing the blanket and body heat. Kyoya couldn’t help but note Tamaki’s familiar vanilla cookie smell over the green, clear scent of the woods.

He inhaled before he could help himself, feeling a familiar swell in his chest. There was something about Tamaki, there always had been, from the moment they met and every minute since. He would never admit it- he hardly even let himself entertain his thoughts- but Tamaki was a beautiful, shining beacon radiating warmth and love for his friends, his family, the world. Kyoya privately wished he too could exude this kind of emotion, but more than that he wanted to absorb it from the blond boy. He wanted to soak in every part of Tamaki and then more. There was an unnameable emotion swelling within Kyoya with every glance at his friend, and he knew he wouldn’t be able to hide it for much longer.

He stood abruptly, shedding the blanket onto Tamaki. The feeling in his chest was too much; he couldn’t remain so close to the boy he was trying so desperately to ignore his love for.

“Excuse me- I think I may have to take my leave, everyone. Lots of budgetng to do.” He brandished his clipboard and gave a wan smile. Tamaki looked heartbroken.

“But Kyoya! We haven’t even finished the marshmallows, you can’t possibly pass up smores for work!” The blond boy protested. He knew how to get round anyone but Kyoya knew he wouldn’t be able to stand another minute by his side, feeling his warmth just centimetres away from his heartbeat.

“No, no. Please enjoy the sweets without me. Somebody has to take care of business in this club after all.” He scurried into the tent before anyone could try to stop him, leaving behind the chattering group and the glow of the fire.

Kyoya tossed and turned in his too-short sleeping bag for hours, listening to the crackling fire and sleepy laughter of his friends. What was he going to do? Why couldn’t he love some noble’s daugher and make his family proud? Why was he cursed to love those he would never be able to have?

These thoughts plagued him long into the night, and angry tears escaped from his eyes. He was a failure, a terrible son and an even worse friend to Tamaki for having such terrible feeligs towards him. Eventually, with his mind spitting thoughts that ricocheted round his head like bullets, Kyoya fell into a restless sleep.

“Okay everyone! I’m off to bed. Hopefully Mommy won’t snore!” Tamaki rose from his space on the log after swallowing down his sixth smore.

Honey was leaning against Mori, breathing deeply and clutching at Usa-chan, dreaming of sweets. Haruhi had long gone to bed, and Renge soon followed. The twins were soaked through, having thought it would be hilarious to throw each other into the lake fully clothed. They hadn’t brought towels, the unprepared idiots, so now they had to dry off next to the campfire before they were able to crawl into bed.

A sleepy chorus of “goodnight” echoed around the fire from the remaining group members as Tamaki slowly unzipped the door to his tent, trying his hardest for once to be quiet as to not wake Kyoya up. He’d acted kind of strange earlier, and Tamaki couldn’t help but wonder what could be going on for his oldest and dearest friend. Tamaki was hesitant to give time to the thought, but he was finding himself having different kinds of feelings towards Kyoya recently, just here and there. At first, it was just that he notced a little more than usual when Kyoya had cut or styled his hair differently, then it was that he was almost hyper-aware of Kyoya’s features and how beautiful he was- he looked chiseled, like a marble statue with his clear, glassy skin.

Tamaki shook his head to rid himself of the emotion filling his mind. Not the time or place, he thought to himself, especially given that he would soon be lying right next to Kyoya. As quietly and quickly as he could, the blond boy clambered into the tent, trying hard to fit his long legs and arms neatly into his sleeping bag. He lay his head down onto the pillow and tried his hardest to fall asleep, not wanting his head to buzz with what he didn’t want to admit was love.

Tamaki awoke with a start. There was a rumbling noise, and in his sleepy stupor he couldn’t work out what the sound could possibly be coming from… Ah. After a minute of frantically whipping his head around trying to find the sure, he realised it was his friend snoring. Wow, Tamaki thought. Kyoya snores like a pig. Maybe that would be grounds to try and detatch his feelings! He couldn’t possibly fall for someone so loud- nevermind, it was no use trying to persuade himself of feeling anything other than a swell of happiness whenever he was around Kyoya.

He glanced over at the black haired boy. He was beautiful- his face was softened by sleep, making him appear vulnerable and young, almost like a baby bird who can’t yet fly. The slight tightness in Kyoya’s brow that usually marked his face was dissipated and relaxed, and he no longer showed a air of uptight snootiness. Tamaki wanted to reach out and stroke the smooth skin of his cheek, run his hands through Kyoya’s silky hair. He resisted.

Unzipping the door, Tamaki softly padded outdoors. The sun wasn’t up yet, but it was definitely too light to be the dead of night anymore. He sighed, knowing that he wouldn’t be getting any more sleep that night. No matter, he would nap when he got home.

Tamaki wandered down to the lake’s edge, to where the water lapped at his toes and brushed his heels. It was cool and comforting, softly spashing at his feet. He considered for a second before stripping down to his underwear, the early morning half-light illuminating his toned shoulders and reflecting a shade of orange onto his chest. Tamaki stepped into the water, letting it swell around his knees and thighs for a second before dipping his shoulders under the golden water. He swam with a strong stroke into the centre of the lake, treading the water and watching the sky streak with pink, yellow and gold.

Back in the tent, Kyoya had stirred from his dead slumber. He could see that the door was flapped open, letting a breeze flow into the sleeping pod. He sighed and rolled out of his sleeping bag, pushing aside the door and following the footsteps down to the lake, twigs crunching underneath his bare feet. The coals in the firepit were still faintly glowing, and he stopped a minute to re-stock the fire and get the flames going again for when the others woke up. Once it was quietly crackling once again, he walked down to the lake’s shore, looking out across the woodlands. He could see Tamaki in the middle of the lake, his bare shoulders shining with water. No sooner had he arrived at the edge did Tamaki turn around and smile, yelling something that Kyoya didn’t quite catch across the water. When he didn’t respond, Tamaki made a wide beckoning gesture with his arms.

Kyoya hesitated a second, but reluctantly took his pyjamas off and wading into the lake. It wasn’t as chilly as he’d expected, just a still coolness that slipped over his skin as he swam to his friend. As he got closer, Tamaki sliced through the water towards him, grinning.

“Hey! I didn’t know you snore, I wouldn’t have shared a bedroom with you if I’d known! You totally woke me up” he raised an eybrow and smirked a little before falling into peals of laughter, unable to take himself seriously enough to smirk. Kyoya felt his cheeks redden.

“I do not snore, Suoh. Don’t project your faults onto me.” He deadpanned before smiling to show Tamaki he didn’t really mind the dig.

Tamaki suddenly looked past Kyoya, eyes shining. “Look! The sun’s rising! Isn’t it stunning?”

Kyoya turned. He was right- it was beautiful. The streaked sky was punctuated by the shimmering sparkle of the rising sun, a giant glowing full stop. He felt a hand on his shoulder, quickly followed by Tamaki’s chest resting on his back, chin on his shoulder.

Kyoya reddened again, but this time he felt bolder.

“It’s not as beautiful as you.”

Tamaki pulled away abruptly, and his stomach tied in a tangled knot of regret. Shit. Maybe he was too bold, thought Kyoya. He bowed his head and turned in the water, slightly raising his head to look at Tamaki’s face. The boy was wide eyed and pink cheeked, staring at Kyoya with his mouth slightly ajar.

“Tamaki, I-” Kyoya began to apologise. He was cut off by Tamaki’s tackled embrace, almost knocking him backwards into the lake. He could feel his friend’s- no, his love’s- hands gripping his back before rising to his jaw. Tamaki’s eyes were hazy and dark. He was beautiful.

“Kyoya,” His voice was barely above a whisper. “I’ve wanted you to say that for so long.”

He leant forwards. Kyoya could hardly believe what was happening, and leant into the kiss that he’d waited for forever.

It was perfect. The sun was high now, and the lake was still and crystal, and Tamaki’s lips were so soft, and his hands so gentle. Kyoya didn’t know how this would pan out after this moent had ended… But he’d cross that bridge when he got to it.

[manie-sans-delire-x]

My thoughts/analysis of We Need to talk about Kevin

From abnormal psych class paper:

The character I chose to analyze and diagnose is Kevin Khatchadourian from the 2011 film, We Need to Talk about Kevin. Brilliantly depicted by star Ezra Miller and various other child actors, Kevin is an angry, emotionally detached boy who struggles in his complex relationship with his mother. We see the unhealthy relationship develop between the two through-out the film as Kevin grows from a baby to a young man, ending in tragedy as Kevin achieves his ultimate revenge against his mother by massacring the rest of their family as well as several classmates in a school shooting.  

After carefully noting Kevin’s behavior and the way he and his mother Eva interact when he is a young child, I have decided to diagnose Kevin with reactive attachment disorder (RAD). The diagnostic criteria from the current Diagnostic and Statistical manual (DSM-5) for RAD reads as follows: 

A. A consistent pattern of inhibited, emotionally withdrawn behavior toward adult caregivers, manifested by both of the following: 

1. The child rarely or minimally seeks comfort when distressed. 

2. The child rarely or minimally responds to comfort when distressed. 

B. A persistent social or emotional disturbance characterized by at least two of the following: 

Minimal social and emotional responsiveness to others 

Limited positive affect 

Episodes of unexplained irritability, sadness, or fearfulness that are evident even during nonthreatening interactions with adult caregivers. 

C. The child has experienced a pattern of extremes of insufficient care as evidenced by at least one of the following: 

Social neglect or deprivation in the form of persistent lack of having basic emotional needs for comfort, stimulation, and affection met by caring adults 

Repeated changes of primary caregivers that limit opportunities to form stable attachments (e.g., frequent changes in foster care) 

Rearing in unusual settings that severely limit opportunities to form selective attachments (e.g., institutions with high child to caregiver ratios) 

D. The care in Criterion C is presumed to be responsible for the disturbed behavior in Criterion A (e.g., the disturbances in Criterion A began following the lack of adequate care in Criterion C). 

E. The criteria are not met for autism spectrum disorder. 

F. The disturbance is evident before age 5 years. 

G. The child has a developmental age of at least nine months. 

Specify if Persistent: The disorder has been present for more than 12 months. 

Specify current severity: Reactive Attachment Disorder is specified as severe when a child exhibits all symptoms of the disorder, with each symptom manifesting at relatively high levels. 

Kevin displays behavior that meets both criteria A and B. As a baby he cried constantly, reportedly even when held, showing an inability or unwillingness to be soothed. As a toddler he shows defiance, disinterest in social interaction, and a refusal to engage in play, such as when his mother is attempting to play with a ball with him and he refuses to roll the ball back or respond in any way, instead staring at her with a sullen expression. Kevin also refuses his mother’s pleas to say the word “Mommy”. As a slightly older child, Kevin continues to act defiantly and shows anger, ripping up the paper when his mother attempts to school him, immediately soiling his newly changed diapers on purpose, throwing food against the wall and onto tables, breaking his crayons, making nonsensical noises to irritate his mother, and destroying his mother’s artfully decorated room. When he is taken to the doctor to be examined, he shows no expression, does not speak, and stiffens his body. When his baby sister is born, he purposefully sprinkles water onto the newborn, causing her to cry. It should be noted however that in one instance Kevin seems to relax his cold exterior and accept comfort from his mother, shown by the scene in which he falls ill and cuddles with his mother while she reads him a story. He even apologizes for her having to clean up his throw-up. Unfortunately, as soon as he is feeling well again he is back to being rude and rejecting any attempt of hers to take care of him, refusing her help to change his clothes.  

As for criteria C, although Kevin has not experienced extreme abuse or neglect, I believe Kevin suffered from a traumatic birth as it was mentioned that his mother was resisting. His mother Eva did not desire a child, especially not one as difficult as Kevin, so she emotionally neglects him and is cold to him. Eva makes it very clear to him that he is unwanted, telling him straight to his face that she was happy before she gave birth to him and not correcting him when Kevin mentions that Eva does not like him. In one instance, she is accidentally too rough with him and breaks his arm, which Kevin later refers to as being the most honest thing she ever did. Kevin also meets the criteria of D through G, and his symptoms are persistent. I would say Kevin has moderate to severe symptoms as he does exhibit all listed symptoms quite regularly.  

I believe Kevin’s psychological problems may also have developed into conduct disorder (CD) as an adolescent and then antisocial personality disorder (ASPD) or psychopathy in adulthood, especially after taking into consideration the mutilation of his sister’s eye and the killing of his sister’s guinea pig, his father, his sister, and several classmates. He shows no guilt or empathy, appears to have shallow emotions besides anger, and shows no evidence of having affection or emotional bonds to anyone. He is also very manipulative; putting on a fake act of normalcy for his father, turning his parents against each other, and navigating the legal system to get his best outcome. However, I know that children with RAD can also be violent and if not treated, behave in a way very similar to conduct disorder in adolescence and ASPD or psychopathy in adulthood. The main reason I chose to focus on RAD over CD or ASPD is because I believe the root of Kevin’s problem is immense pain at being rejected and unloved as a child and that he harbors a deep desire to have that connection but is unable to accept affection.  He is so focused on and consumed by his anger towards his mother, while someone with true psychopathy may be more detached and indifferent. I also leaned more towards RAD given that he showed symptoms from such a young age and did not seem to have any problems outside of his issues with his mother, such as acting out in school or engaging in petty, impulsive crime. I do wish that the film showed more of his interaction with his peers. Lastly, I felt RAD was a more accurate choice because of the subtle signs of it that are associated more with RAD than CD, such as stiffening his body when others try to hug him, making nonsensical sounds, and not making eye contact as an infant, although that may not have been intentionally put in the film. Either way, his parents certainly needed to talk to professionals about Kevin when he was a child. Had they done so, perhaps they could have prevented the tragedy of both his life and the pain he inflicted on others.  

Response to tumblr ask:

I agree! I would have loved to see how he interacts at school, what he does when he’s alone and has spare time, and more of his childhood.

I think he had multiple reasons:

1- To make his mother suffer since he obviously has a lot of anger and resentment towards her

2- Because he doesn’t feel much positive emotion and gave up on ever feeling pleasure or enjoyment from regular life. Normal life is incredibly boring for him. He wanted to DO something- real, meaningful, make something happen. He wanted to Live. I very much relate.

3- He enjoys the attention he gets from it.

We talked about this in my forensic psych club- whether we should give interviews and all this attention to violent criminals. Our society is fascinated by them to the point where we make movies and books. People sell and collect memorabilia. They have fan-girls writing love letters and showing up to their court sessions, even fighting each other over them. It’s pretty crazy. But on the other hand, it’s important that we study them. Or is it? There’s a debate about everything.

4- His philosophy and world view. 

He is very nihilistic, he doesn’t believe life “means” anything and right/wrong doesn’t exist/is just a matter of opinion or viewpoint. His actions don’t really matter either, nothing does. I used to think exactly like he did when I was a teen, and I still do in a way.

As for your last question, it’s easy to forget one way of thinking when you’re in another. It’s hard to remember how one state was when you’re in a different one. Also, as shitty as outside life can be, life in prison is even shittier. Makes you appreciate the ability of choice and being able to do things, even just to walk around outside or buy an icecream cone. He was also only 15 at the time of the crime, and in the last scene he’s 18. A lot of chemical changes and neural development happens in that time. He matured- his way of thinking about himself, the world, and the others around him changed.

[papers4me]

Fruits Basket, SE02, Ep25 (Season Finale)

ah~ I finished furuba’s Season 2..T_T.. now my life is empty..that’s a good ep!

- A moment with yuki:

I think there’s sth I still don’t understand abt yuki’s tohru-mom feelings...I thought that yuki after acknowledging such feelings, will slowly build a healthier, more equal relationship with tohru  & the only reason he didn’t tell her is cuz he wants her to be ready & not worry. So today, it makes sense that he comes & tells tohru he stood up for himself & was scared but made it! he’s proud of himself & tohru should be proud of him, too. Also, it helps tohru let go of worrying abt him & realize his growth. All amazing!!! However, the scene was depicted in a way that screams, “look mommy, I’ did it!” rather than a friend reaching out & proudly telling a friend. it really cemented the mom-son dynamics. I felt “awe look at him proudly telling his mom” sth I thought, we’ll be slowly moving away from towards more equal dynamics. Yuki was drawn extra thin & he was leaning as if he was waiting for a head pat. Nothing is wrong with yuki wanting motherly feels since he never got one but i felt nothing changed between them. yuki still below tohru. I mean he’ll never be able to repay her kindness. true. but I thought the story will let us see him standing taller bit by bit, y’know? I know he still calls her honda-san & perhaps him finally calling her “tohru” is when they’re equal..but shouldn’t he move slowly towards that? rather than suddenly coming & thanking her for being his much needed mother figure? why is this scene depicted with extremely strong mother-son feel? could it be cuz yuki is still putting tohru in a pedestal? he told momiji “did u do sth worthy of honda-san’s praise” as if tohru isn’t the person who praises momiji for a cute uniform or kyo for making a standard riceball. hmm, maybe yuki can’t be equal to her if he still sees her as the sky or an angel or someone who desperately needs protection. tohru is precious to him & he’ll protect her with his life, but I thought he’ll do so as a friend, not as a son. Maybe SE03 is abt him learning to see tohru as a normal, lacking but still amazing person? I’d love to see that!!

- Shigure ( the main character ):

It’s always forgotten that this goofy, good for nuthin dude is a main character. But once he turns dark & reveals his face, no doubt that this guy is the plot’s leader! Shigure doesn't do lengthy inner monologues, nor his actions are easy to read. Mayuko is right “ he is like a ripple in the water” .The stages of shigues’s emotions:

Bitter: “why not let yuki take responsibility & tend for akito?” mocking akito’s bedridden status over yuki’s defiance. “ why u ask abt tohru in the phone?” & proceeds to mock kureno for calling. Tohru would never answer the phone first. “ you’re featherbrained” cruelly mocking him using a pun on his zodiac while suspecting he isn’t one anymore. Only shigure is capable of such salt!

Silent Anger: looking at akito as she rants abt him not coming to her first! not choosing her first. while she’s the one who didn’t choose him. “you’re one to talk” Epic!! “ what do you want from her?” shigure had no right intruding on kureno’s business with tohru. but he’s too angry to behave. Kureno answers like a good boy.

Refusing to play blind: hatori looking for excuses for akito’s behavior within the curse’s lore. Shigure fires back with “haven’t u ever felt sth off with kureno?”. They all did. “ Ah~at long at last” not even waiting for kureno to say first.

Sticking his finger in open wounds: “don’t accept it?scared? sad? emotionally attached to the bond?” Verdict: “devious” he’s calling out  hatori & kureno both!

Embracing himself with no regrets: “ weak, intolerant, worthless, worst kind of man”. He embodies his own description of himself as he talks to kureno over the phone & sends tohru. “ see you later” only the worst kind of man uses tohru like that. sending her with no clue to an emotional shock. He wants the situation to escalates. He’ll use tohru if he have to. Let’s see if kureno’s “kindness” spares tohru the pain or if it tears her heart apart as it has been tearing everybody, kureno induced!

-Akito’s manipulating tactics start to backfire:

“ I speak cruelly of you, You know I don’t say it out of spite” very typical sentence abusers say to further their grasp around others. Insult them cruelly, then play the kind apologetic card. It makes the other person linger longer. “X didn’t meant it. X actually cares. X just lost control”. It happens in domestic abuse cases all the time.. it never changes..it never stops. Akito knows when she’s loosing her grip on someone. she feels it. Her ego doesnt let her acknowledge it. However, seeing akito’s innocent young self humanized her so much. She wasn’t despicable since birth as we’ve seen in yuki’s flashback, but here she was even more innocent than with yuki. Could it be cuz it’s from kureno’s perspective? someone older than her? or she treated older male zodiacs differently. Akito knew kureno’s curse broke as he himself did. hmm. it’s the bond, so the ruler does have a connection with the zodiacs. Akito fearing kureno’s abandonment is understandable. Akito using tears, screams, pleads & frantic behavior, “so typical of spoiled children” to get kureno to stay. It is a working tactic. A tactic that abusive adults use in toxic relationships so much & works to trap the other party to stay. Stay with me cuz you pity me, yes, but I’m the one on control. Keeping in mind akito’s age here, she looks 6? 10 maximum! is really twisted. Akito learned early one that manipulation works. She gets what she wants by playing games, whether it’s tears, pity, rage, ridicule, mockery, bets, humiliation, or sexual seduction. It reinforces her behavior that nothing can stand between her & her desires. curse or no curse. If she can keep a  non-cursed person, then the cursed ones are way weaker to leave. This, off course doesn’t justify her abusive behavior with yuki/ kyo/ momiji/ kisa/ rin/ haru/ hatori but today, we got a small window open into her psyche. The best “antagonist” is someone with irrational behavior that stems from twisted mindset! She is so interesting!

-Kureno & ( the most destructive foolish traveler):

So, kureno stayed with akito cuz he can’t turn a sad, lonely, fragile child away. Can’t bear to break her heart. The child became a woman. The woman needed him in bed, he can’t turn a sad lonely woman away. He gave in & their relationship became even more twisted with the complexity of intimacy issues. Kureno said “ arisa is the first person he ever loved on his own”. meaning that he slept with akito using the remaining feelings of attachment of his previous bond. EXACTLY as shigure said while questioning hatori’s refusal to believe the curse can break“ emotionally attached to the bond”. He continued this unbalanced sexual affair with her. completely submissive to her moods & whims. Unbalanced relationship cuz both stayed together for twisted reasons “unable to let go”, She has control over him since she’s the family head, over even his freedom outside the house, He is willingly submissive to her, choosing to not seek his happiness,  not standing up & denying her, or stopping her or telling her sth as simple as “ i want to go out to the supermarket”. content & satisfied with his dull, lifeless life. Until akito “ the sad child/ the sad woman doesn’t need him anymore??? but kureno can see that him staying by akito’s side didn’t do shit to improve anybody’s situation!!! Akito is still miserable! even before tohru appears in their lives. all the zodiacs were miserable & united in a toxic fake bond. The bond is so fake that all this time there was a fake imposter & no one dared to question. They’re so accustomed to submissive obedience that they don’t dare to hope. Only shigure. The intolerant jerk saw through it all.

-Kureno is a different kind of foolish traveler. He helped no one. Not even the person he gave his eyes to, Akito didn’t benefit from his kindness. He didn’t benefit, nor arisa, nor any zodiac. What kureno’s kindness brought him is misery. What it brought the sohma’s is enabling abuse & continuation of current toxic atmosphere. He is a more sever enabler than hatori. Hatori enabled the continuation of the curse by erasing memories & staying by akito’s bed tending for her with no life of his own. But hatori knows he’s a sinner & hatori is still chained by the bond. Kureno is free to leave. Yet, he’s still here deceiving everybody & suffering alone while pretending to be content with fake smile. Was Kureno raised to always follow orders? No personality. No needs. Still, he decides to continue even after given a chance to leave now!!!! he lost the first chance due to a promise he made while he was afraid, lonely & felt pity. Now, he knows someone there loves him (arisa), he has a new friend (tohru), someone flat out told him to freakin leave (shigure). Still, he feels that causing akito to break down & cry is cruel. The most passive character in the shows I’ve watched!! Kuteno is another proof of this brilliant writer! there are many kureno’s around us. hurting themselves & others by staying in the cycle of abuse. The writer is really brilliant for writing such variety of characters. Who cares if fans find him appealing or not? hot or dull? good or bad? that’s not the issue here. He fits the plot so amazingly & realistically represents real life ppl who are caught between causing immense harm & being severely harmed, between helping & ruining! Kureno just closed his own caged tight shut behind him. so foolish, so tragic!

Side Notes:

Momiji pulling tohru to his level to tell her abt his achievement is cute! I was told he’s supposed to be taller than tohru now! can’t wait to see that!

Momiji’s been dressing more mature for a while, such as the violin ep, ep24 & now. All three tops while still having so much decorations, a hint of feminine designs are still in tune with momiji’s funky spirit! Also they are NOT toddler-like clothes! at all. I’m convinced it is done on purpose!! baby is growing!

I love dark shigure!! OMG! the story take a whole other level once he turns dark & turns off the goofy mode, activating the bitter mode! He was raw with no mercy & unveiled hatori’s hidden feelings with no hesitation. He tore kureno like a vicious dog! I LOVE.

Akito’s Japaneses VA is queen! & shigure’s Japaneses VA is so amazing!! can’t wait for his American VA!!! he’s one of my faves!

the bond breaking visuals are perfect! 10/10. No words needed.

tohru does have a women’s intuition! She is the most emotionally intelligent & socially perceptive character in furuba, just as long as it’s not abt herself. XD

tohru had a flashback within a flashback! lol. flashback inception!

they gave tohru a lil bit bigger boobies than usual!! my girl is maturing, too? =D

The scene of kureno & akito’s innocent childhood & the curse lifting being cut & inserted all over the ep is EPIC!! 10/10 presentation. It gave the ep eerie & distorted feel. Exactly as both kureno & akito felt. 

The scenes of tohru realizing sth is off with kureno’s curse is 10/10.

“ how did the curse break?” tohru’s first question! wow! I thought it was good for you, I’m happy, then ask afterwards. But NO. Interesting!!!!

I love that there is NO explanation of why the curse broke!!! I hope there is NEVER any explanation!! plz don’t let it be sth magical kureno did without noticing or anything. Let it either be random to keep the suspense as we wouldn’t know who’s is next or let be sth abt the bond somehow. But not sth tohru herself needs to do!

I still don’t understand kureno much, but I find him well-written for the reasons mentioned in my post. As for akito, I still don’t know much abt her. I doubt I’ll like her easily. But I can feel that her part in the story would be so amazingly entertaining!!

Shigure is the most unique furuba character hands down!!!!! this unbelievably entertaining jerk! is hot too.

[xjamlessparkx]

divorce | myg | 01

summary: in which you have to go through a painful process of your own family shattering

pairing: yoongi x reader

genre: angst

01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05 | 06 | 07 | 08 | 09 | 10 | 11 |12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17

“Mommy!” you heard your ten-year-old daughter yell and ran up to your room. The bed shifted as someone jumped on you. You groaned loudly while your daughter shook you awake.

“YAY NO SCHOOL!!” you heard your son yell out of joy. He was only two years younger than his sister. Your eyes widened and you looked at the time. Oh man! The bus will arrive in less than 20 minutes. You jumped out of bed, grabbing the two and dragging them into the bathroom. “Alright, you two will brush your teeth now. Ahran! Make sure your brother doesn’t create a mess. I want your teeth to shine brightly, alright?” you rattled off without pausing once. Spotting a small scrunchy, you grabbed it and tied your hair into a messy ponytail. As long as your hair wasn’t annoying everything would be fine.

You ran downstairs to prepare their bento boxes. You turned on the rice cooker and started to cut some vegetables and fruits for their lunch. It was a race with the time and you had to be really fast. You heard growls from upstairs and sighed when you heard a loud sound of something falling. You ran upstairs and could literally scream.

“What are you two doing?” you looked at the mess they created in the bathroom.

“Mom, Junsun is getting on my nerves, he splashed water on me…” Ahran mumbled, pouting in front of you. You shut your eyes, preventing yourself from yelling at them because of your lack of time.

“Come on guys 10 minutes!” you three ran into their room and you helped your little son change into his clothes while your daughter wanted to do it on her own. You brushed their hair and helped them to put on their jackets. The bus stop was in front of your house and you were happy when you made it in time. Just as you saw the bus, something popped up in your mind.

Their food.

“Oh no …” you turned around, leaving your kids at the bus stop to run into the kitchen. Grabbing the completed bento boxes to ran after the bus. The bus driver spotted you from his outside mirror and waited. You hoped into the bus, not caring that you were in bare pajama and didn’t even wash your own face. You thanked the bus driver while he nodded. Giving your kids their lunch you kissed their cheeks and hoped out of the bus, waving at them.

You smiled to yourself as you returned to your house.

Your husband Min Yoongi wasn’t home. He went to work earlier than usual even though it has already been more than a month that he left early and came home pretty late. Sometimes he would pick up your kids from school and other days they spent time together without you. You didn’t blame them, though. It was more important for your husband to spend more time with his kids than with you. You were an ordinary housewife. While the two were married you still worked hard, to help him earning money to lead your own household. Once you were pregnant he didn’t allow you to work. He wanted to be a good husband and father for your family.

Ahran was born and you two shared the happiest moments in your life. She completed you two. You two had many up and downs in your marriage and fought a lot, even while you were pregnant. After she was born everything changed to better. That’s what you thought actually. Ahran wasn’t even one year old and your old habits returned. You sometimes regretted your choice in marrying him so fast but you didn’t want to make any choices because now everything was different. Throwing away a marriage would be easier if both sides agreed and if there was no child. Just as you thought about letting go the doctor told you that you’re pregnant again. You saw it as a light in your empty and dark world. He would be the reason for you two to fight for your love and marriage. Junsun was the jewel of your house. Of course, kids should never be used as a pretext to save a marriage but you didn’t want your kids to feel lonely and have divorced parents at their young ages. Everything went well at first but you and Yoongi lived yourself apart. It was hard to not argue with him once you two were left alone. You were afraid that once your children will hear your arguments that is why you try to ignore the urge to talk back to him. You knew that it was hard to save your family but you wanted to fight for your children. You would sacrifice yourself for the sake and happiness of your children but you doubted Yoongi infighting as well. He already gave up and you knew it.

At home, you cleaned the mess in the bathroom first. Pulling a bandana over your forehead you started cleaning the whole house since you had nothing to do. Sometimes you would feel so bored but you knew that even your friends were working and had no time. Most of them weren’t married and the ones who are married don’t have children yet. As you were cleaning the kitchen you felt your vision getting blurry. It’s not the first time that you had dizziness. It’s been already a month that you suffered from headaches, dizziness, fatigue, and inefficiency. That’s also the reason why you have to rush every morning. You don’t feel good and powerful to wake up. You believed that it was the stress which you had to suffer from. At home, the kids and of course the issue with your husband. You bit your lip reaching for your phone. It felt like you would collapse any minute. You clicked on the caller ID of Yoongi who was probably working right now. He didn’t pick up your call and you ended it. You put your phone on the counter and grabbed a glass to drink cold water. It relaxed your senses and you sat down on the chair. You should eat something but you had no appetite. Sometimes you forced yourself to strengthen yourself Suddenly, your phone rang. You picked it up without looking at the caller ID.

“Hello?” you mumbled questioningly.

“Hey,” a female voice exclaimed and you looked at the caller ID which showed Yoongis.

“Excuse me … but do I know you?” you were pretty calm.

“No… no, you don’t but soon you will know. He was always so hesitant at telling you that’s why I decided to-” you cut her off, not being able to understand a word.

“Where is my husband?” you asked, wondering why a stranger called you.

“Ex-husband…” she corrected you and your mind went blank. You ended the call as soon as possible and stood up. Feeling your throat burning and your eyes filling with tears.

You threw your phone at the counter, letting it ring over and over again. You went upstairs to hop into the bath. Letting the hot water flow in the bathtub. You removed your clothes, feeling the cold breeze of air touching your bare skin. You lost an immense amount of weight but you blamed it on the stress which prevented you from eating. That’s why you had to force yourself to eat.

Everything was already so clear for you to be surprised by the situation. But it still hurt that your effort didn’t matter. It made you sad that he didn’t think about your kids as much as you thought about them and their feelings. The puzzle was complete now. Why he left early and came home late. It’s been already years that you two had shared your last physical contact. The last time you truly made love and felt the passion. After he went distant you waited for him to give in the divorce papers. It was needless to fight anymore because you lost all of your strength already.

It was sad that the last memories of you two would be nothing but hurtful.

You hoped into the bathtub and leaned back, putting your head on your neck. It felt refreshing. You always took your time to the bathroom and it was already getting a little darker outside. You showered and went into your room to change yourself. You had a towel wrapped around your body and pulled out some clothes.

“You showered?” you heard a deep and familiar voice asking. You turned around to look at Min Yoongi who wasn’t even looking at you. He was searching for something in the drawer. You nodded, knowing that he still saw you from the corner of his eyes.

“You’re early …” you mumbled putting on your clothes. Having a clue that he came early to confess because he probably found out about his new affair and wife sharing a conversation.

“I had to get something …” he mumbled and cleared his throat when you sat in front of your mirror to brush your hair.

“I believe there is more …” you said when the room filled with an awkward silence.

“Are the kids in school?” he looked around the room and you nodded. He scratched his neck and stared at the movements of your hands. He bit his lip.

“Y/N … it’s been already so many weeks and the cold ice between us still didn’t melt. I want you to know that I didn’t cheat on you-” you cut him off, feeling the hot tears filling your eyes.

“Yoongi … I only wonder how you think about starting a new relationship when even our relationship is shattering…” it hurt to see that someone you truly loved had no interest in you anymore.

“That’s not the same …” he started but again you cut him off. It was another habit of yours and you knew that you two would argue any minute soon.

“You didn’t even think about your own children Yoongi… You went after your own desire. I’m okay with you not loving me anymore because, to be honest, I am sick of fighting for someone who doesn’t even show slightly effort in saving our relationship. It’s already over Yoongi. It was over even before our kids …” you said, looking to the side.

“I am sorry Y/N…” you let out a sarcastic chuckle. It was the first time you heard him apologizing for something he had done.

“I don’t know what you feel sorry for. The fact that you already moved on, the fact that you want to leave your family behind? That you don’t care about the kids-” he cut you off, getting angrier.

“Oh stop it already! I  love my children. They’re my everything and I would never let them go. It’s just that we both see that nothing works out for us and it is the best to end it before we two destroy ourselves. It’s for the best …” he said. The topic of him meeting a new girl was totally unnecessary for you because you cared about your kids more than your own happiness. You couldn’t even express any sad feelings towards him. It was anger which filled up your whole body but you maintained calm.

“So you wanna divorce?” you murmured. His silence was louder than a hundred words. So he gave up your family without even doubting himself.

“Alright,” you put the hairbrush on the table and stood up “Let’s divorce.”

[wolfpawn]

Life is a Game of Risks, Chapter 41

Chapter Summary - Alexianna starts her therapy, leading to a revelation.

TRIGGERS - Past domestic abuse, Past emotional abuse, Past sexual abuse.

Previous Chapter

Tags: @damalseer​​ @hiddlesbitch1​​ @winterisakiller​​ @theoneanna​​

Request if you wish to be tagged

For the next few weeks after the argument and the reconciliation, Tom and Alexianna were not intimate in their relationship, but they still had nights where Tom stayed over. Both tried getting Alexianna to speak about her issues, but words always failed to describe the feelings in her head and as a result, frustrated her and confused Tom.

She went for her initial therapy session, where the counsellor spoke to her about different things; her childhood, her accident, Jonathan and Lily were the major points, none were in great detail, just what happened. He said he would talk more with her when she came again, but that he was trying to get a general picture. She left that session feeling okay. Nothing overly painful was brought up and she felt he seemed to realise that the issue was not solely Jonathan as the last one had focused on, so she felt she could work more with him.

Tom was pleased that she was satisfied with her counsellor and insisted on her taking a warm relaxing bath and that he would cook dinner that night afterwards. When he asked her when she was to go again, he was not surprised when she said that the counsellor, Mr Barrows, said that she would need at least a session a week until she felt otherwise.

*

Tom was sitting down to a script when his phone rang. Seeing it was Alexianna, he smiled and pressed the answer button. ‘Hello.’ There was no response. ‘Lexi?’

‘Tom.’

Tom sat up straight. ‘Alexianna, what’s wrong?’ He asked, scared to hear her crying. ‘Lexi?’

‘I...Are you free?’

‘Of course, Darling. Give me half an hour.’

‘Please.’

‘I’ll be there soon, okay?’

‘Okay.’

‘I’m coming, just give me a little bit.’ He hung up the phone and rushed to get himself ready, wondering what had caused Alexianna to be so distraught. He drove to her apartment complex and parked his car in her allocated spot before rushing up the steps to her home. When he entered, he could hear Lily singing to a DVD in her room and in the living room, was Alexianna, crying into her Stitch soft toy that he had gotten her. ‘Lexi?’

‘Tom.’

He rushed over and held her to him. ‘What happened?’

‘I went to my next appointment today.’

‘Why didn’t you tell me?’

‘I didn’t want to bother you.’

‘Well, that was foolish. So what did today have that made you so upset?’

‘Tom...I am so broken.’

‘No, you’re not as broken as you think you are. You are just seeing small cracks, the same as most people have.’ He kissed her head. ‘Talk to me.’

‘When my father left, he never came back.’

Tom knew that. Alexianna’s father saw nothing of her or Dan when he divorced their mother. He paid their school fees and gave sums of money here and there for other things, but he never actually saw his children. Something that, to this day, he could not understand how Alexianna was not bothered by. Apparently, he was wrong. ‘I know.’

‘I...Why didn’t it bother me?’

‘You always said that he was the one missing out.’

‘I...then the same with Lily and Jonathan.’

‘Lexi, he is a pig, he does not deserve to be in her life. Look how happy she is, she does not need him. The same as you did not need your father, some men bring no positive to your life so forget about them.’ Tom decided to state that immediately, lest Alexianna feel any modicum of guilt in her current state and try and initiate contact with her ex-husband, a man she would never want in her life otherwise.

‘But I continued the cycle.’

‘No, Lexi, he left you did not push him, though I wish you had the honour.’

‘But am I damaging Lily, I thought I was okay…’

‘You are not doing anything of the sort to that little girl. She is upstairs singing Bryan Adams watching her horse movie and is so incredibly happy.’

‘Some people would classify Bryan Adams as failing her.’ Alexianna joked, causing Tom to laugh. ‘I just...I want her to be more than me.’

‘What is wrong with her being like you? A strong woman, who follows her own path and does not let the setbacks force her down. In one way, she will be stronger than you, because unlike you, she will have you in her corner, you didn’t have Marie. And she will have me and Uncle Daniel, not to mention my mum and her aunts and cousin, that girl will be incredibly supported.’ He promised.

‘I...I figured it out.’

‘Which part?’

‘Why I was bothered.’

‘Okay?’

‘I was jealous, not intentionally, I didn’t even think of it, it’s because you wanted her and my father did not want me, and I realise now, that I was risking her not having something brilliant because of it. I love seeing the bond between you, I love how the smile she has when she sees you. But it opened up something in me, something I have never actually thought about and repressed and then when you did that, and with everything going on with you in Lily’s life, my mind correlated it to my father not bothering with me and my brain construed it all wrong and resulted in the world’s most stupid meltdown.’

Tom held her against him more. ‘Your feelings are not stupid, and the fact you could not explain them shows this was not something you wanted to have, but something you could not control.’

‘Thank you for understanding.’

‘How was it overall?’

‘Fine.’

‘Lexi?’

‘I have never been more exhausted in my life. I feel so drained, but not in a bad way and then I felt guilty for what I did with us…’

‘Shh, it was a step in the right direction. I think you know you needed this.’ Tom commented. ‘What did he say about Jonathan?’

‘He didn’t feature much. Just asking about the men in Lily’s life because I said I needed to get to the bottom of that particular event.’

‘Okay.’

‘I...I was thinking, and I realise, that I am completely over what he did, I...I am indifferent. Not angry, not upset, I don’t care when I talk about him or anything. But I still don’t want to mention him too much around Lil’s. Not yet.’

‘Of course.’ Tom bit his cheek.

‘We will have to tell her someday, I know that.’

‘So do I, but I don’t want to.’ Tom confessed.

‘Dad’s try to protect their children, you don’t want her hurt.’

‘The idea of that kills me. Her knowing that he did not want her.’

‘Mommy?’ A voice called from the top of the stairs.

‘Shit, Tom, I can’t let her see me like this.’ Alexianna sat up properly, fully aware of her current state from crying.

‘I have this.’ He winked. ‘Yes, princess?’

‘DADDY!!!!!!!’

‘I’m going to count to five and then I am going to go up there, and gobble you up.’ There was a giggle. ‘One.’

‘Ah!’

‘Two.’

‘Run Lils.’ Her mother giggled.

‘Three.’ Tom rose to his feet and headed for the door. ‘Four.’

‘No, Daddy.’

‘Five. I’m going to get you, Lily.’

‘Mommy!’ Lily’s footsteps rushed across the ceiling above her as Alexianna smiled at the sheer happiness in her daughter’s voice.

With her day’s revelations regarding herself voiced to Tom, Alexianna dried her tears and assessed. She had been so emotional when she realised why she felt as she did, but telling Tom and having him understand too, meant she felt truly as though an immense weight had been lifted from her shoulders. She knew it was cliche, but it did. The idea of making dinner made her all but gag, so instead, she just went on her phone and ordered a delivery.

When Tom and Lily came down the stairs, Tom checked how Alexianna was before bringing Lily into the room. Alexianna had washed her face a few times with cold water to lessen the puffiness, though her eyes were still red, but she still nodded for Tom to come in. When they walked in, she smiled lovingly.

‘Are you okay?’

‘Yes. Thank you, Tom.’

‘I am here for you, no matter what.’ He promised. ‘Thank you for talking to me about it, I know it is hard for you.’

She nodded. When the bell rang, Tom and Lily looked around. ‘Who wants Indian?’

‘That sounds good, right Lils?’

‘Korma!’

‘The boss has spoken.’ Tom chuckled.

After Lily was put to bed, Tom reading her the story, he walked back down the stairs to see Alexianna reading. ‘Did she go down?’

‘Of course.’ He smiled, sitting down beside her and curling her in against him. ‘I am so proud of you, did I tell you that? Having the strength to acknowledge something was not right, and asking for help, that is an incredibly brave thing to do and I am proud of you for doing it.’

‘I am so grateful you are still here. I don’t like feeling like I am pressuring you to be, but days like today, I really am so grateful to have you and I think part of my wanting to get through all of this is so I do not lose you because of it because that would crush me. I know that there is always a chance of this failing, I am not stupid, but I don’t want it to be because I would not attempt to communicate with you.’

Tom smiled lovingly at her. ‘Even if everything were to fall apart, I would still be here for both of you. That’s a big part of this, Lexi, knowing you for so long, us having a connection more than just this, that matters.’

Alexianna contemplated his words for a moment before leaning up and kissing him. Tom reciprocated which only caused her to become more passionate. Before long, she was straddling his hips, her body against his.

‘Lexi...we...bedroom.’ He sighed, loving the feel of her body against his., but he forced her back. ‘You need to tell me you’re in the right place in your head for this too. You are going through a lot right now, if you think you have to do this for me, you don’t.’

‘I want it.’ She confirmed. ‘Not because I feel I have to.’

‘Then bedroom.’ He ordered, she did not move, instead, she began to unbutton his shirt. ‘Lexi, what if your daughter comes down the stairs?’ He asked, trying to get her to focus.

‘Our daughter.’ She corrected.

Tom paused for a moment and looked into her eyes, seeing was she just trying to sidetrack him, but seeing the way she looked back at him, it was clear she meant it. Filled with elated joy, he flipped her around so she was with her back to the sofa and he was over her. ‘Fuck it.’

[sage-the-mage]

Sometimes the littlest things that happen when you're young can have massive impact on you when you're older.

So I've been thinking a lot lately. About my childhood, mostly, trying to figure out why it is that I am the way I am.

I'm nonbianary. While I've never really felt like much of a girl, it took me until this last year to fully realize it. And even now, I'm hesitant to tell people. On here, I have no issue being who I am and proud of it. But irl, very few people know. My wife knows, obviously, and a few of our friends know too, and all of them use my preferred name, Sage, instead of my birth name. A couple other people met me after I'd come out to my wife and friends, and they know me as Sage, but not that I'm nonbianary. And no one really ever uses the right pronouns, and I'm always too afraid of upsetting everyone to correct them. I mean, my wife tries when she remembers. One of the friends I told is just bad at remembering, it was honestly a bit of a struggle to get her used to the correct name. And the other two I remember telling don't see us as much to get used to it, on top of never hearing the right ones.

No one in my family, or my wife's, knows. Her grandpa, who we live with, is older and we know wouldn't really understand it, so I never really intended to tell him. He's out on the road a lot so it's not a big deal anyway, plus as everyone's gotten used to calling me Sage, when he's home everyone seems to use that and Meg interchangeably, so he's sorta picked up on that and will call me that sometimes. My mom and my grandparents and all the rest of them still know me entirely as Meg though. And I want to tell them, I really do. They're my family, they raised me, they're honestly a tolerant bunch, especially considering the area we live in. But the idea causes me anxiety.

Just like the idea of telling anyone at all did.

Just like deciding on a new name did.

Just like the idea of telling anyone that doesn't already know.

Just like how as much as I'd like to throw a stuffed animal and pout at anyone referring to me as she or girl, instead I sit back quietly because I'm afraid of stirring up trouble or causing any upset.

But, why am I like this? My mom was my best friend, I used to tell her everything, surely I should at least be able to tell her? And if any of my siblings ever have gender identity issues, I'm sure having a sibling that understands would help them immensely. I've had these thoughts running through my head for ages, but only now am I really acknowledging them.

For as long as I can remember, I saw most things as either boy things or girl things, with very few things that both were allowed to like (silly bands being one of the few "both" things.) I thought that girls weren't allowed to like boy things, and same for boys with girl things. I thought it was an actual rule, too. I don't know how or why exactly this got started, but I'll bet it had something to do with always being taken to the girls section for toys and clothes, to the point I didn't think I could go into the others.

I repressed a lot of my likes and interests. Sure I liked Barbies and playing with them and a lot of most of my other "girl" toys, but I would've loved playing with toy cars, not that I'd have admitted it then. I liked climbing trees and getting dirty, and yes I thought those were boys activities. I wanted to play sports. I did wind up playing basketball in third grade when I found out there was a girls basketball club, and around fifth grade I did climb trees and stopped worrying so much about getting dirty after I saw girls my age playing like that. By then I'd started realizing it wasn't so clear cut.

I said I hated superheroes, despite my favorite show being Kim Possible, a superhero/spy type. And, once I discovered it, I loved Teen Titans, and my excuse for why was because there were two female heroes as part of the main characters. I adamantly denied liking any other superheroes until I was thirteen and saw Danny Phantom and Iron Man Armored Adventures. After that I finally gave up the pretenses of hating superheroes, at least to myself, and to others a few years later.

In forth grade, I found a show, Bakugon I think is what it was called, probably spelled entirely wrong, that I wound up loving and watched before school. When it stopped airing at that time though, I didn't look to find out when it did, because I was afraid of my own mother judging me for liking boyish things, even though I knew she had said stuff before about parents judging their kids for liking stuff commonly associated with the other gender being wrong and stupid. To this day, this is the first I've told anyone about this, aside from maybe mentioning it once to my wife, if that.

Over the years, I've collected a fairly big wardrobe, a few things I've gotten myself or my mom got me, most of it coming from my grandma though. And it's all highly feminine, because while I did and do like that it was expected for that to be all I liked. Some days the thought of wearing my hyper feminine wardrobe was so off putting I'd stay in my pajamas all day, because at least that didn't involve effort. Other days, I'd find some skinny jeans and hope I still had a fairly plain t-shirt to wear, because that was a pretty neutral look. Or I'd stay in my work clothes. Or I'd be feeling like looking feminine and make full use of what I did have.

The thought that I wasn't really a girl was always there. For as long as I can remember, at the back of my mind was the nagging feeling that, while I liked enough feminine things and I certainly wasn't a boy, I didn't really feel like a girl. I would cringe when people would say I was such a cute girl, such a beautiful young woman, I'd grown into such a wonderful lady. Because that's the sort of thing I'd hear from people, any compliment for some reason needing to bring up my gender, as though that was important. Why couldn't I just be called cute, say I've gotten so big or mature, a beautiful young adult? And, furthermore, why was it always pretty and beautiful used for girls and women, but handsome was reserved for the boys? Maybe sometimes I want to be called handsome, or at least feel like it's a possibility to be called that. I always preferred being referred to as a kid, my mom's child, one of the grandbabies, instead of daughter or anything like that. Niece never bothered me so much, mostly because I don't really know much of an alternative,(similarly, I'll probably be called Aunt by my siblings' children) and I could go either way with sister vs sibling, because sister sounds a touch more personal but sibling is neutral like I'd prefer, and not that impersonal sounding. And I'm sure I'll be Mommy or Mama or even just Mom to my kids because calling a parent parent sounds fucking weird, though I might go with Ma because it's not as commonly used anymore and that's among the first sounds a kid makes anyway, or make something up or maybe people will have a gender neutral set of parent tiles like Mom and Dad and the variations of those by then, I mean I can hope right. Wow this got off track but my point is I've never felt like girl was the right thing for me to be called, for as long as I can remember it's felt wrong, but up until just a few years ago I didn't know that neither boy nor girl was even an option, and until earlier this year for those thoughts to really edge their way to the front of my mind to make me confront them.

And I'm happy I've found an identity that fits me, I really am. But I'm so terrified that everyone that doesn't know would judge me if I told them because I'm supposed to be a girl, I've always been a girl, and basically those childhood thoughts my family accidentally brought forth by always taking me to the girl sections and buying me girly things and never even walking me through the boys sections until my first brother was born, when I was 10 and already deep in the mindset, those thoughts and fears just won't leave. And I can't help thinking that maybe the reason why the people who do know rarely use the right pronouns because they don't believe me, they think I'm lying or something because I still show feminine interests, I wear mostly feminine clothes because I can't afford to get rid of most of my wardrobe and buy new stuff that's more neutral and balanced like I'd like it to be, and my fear of that along with the days when I don't look feminine kicking in has lead to me wearing my wife's sweatpants and shirts a lot. And it certainly doesn't help that large boobs run in my family, and I can't even afford or know where to look for a binder to keep them down, so I rely on too small sports bras and baggy jackets and hoodies when I'm not in the mood for them. I mean I don't want them gone entirely, for when I'm wanting to look feminine, but I'd like them a lot smaller so they for one don't hurt my back, and for two they'd be easier to hide with a slightly loose fitting shirt and a sports bra that actually fit or something for when I don't want to.

Wow this got really long but like. There it is. This has been on my mind for days now.

[stargleeksil-blog]

Criminal Minds s01e01 - Extreme Aggressor - review.

Episode 01 – Extreme Aggressor

OK, so I’m starting to watch this thing from the beginning after my brother got me hooked on it from season 3. I’ll be completely frank and say that I fell in love with Shemar and Kirsten. If’s not funny, it’s serious here.

Let’s get straight to it. Reviewing Criminal Minds from the beginning … oh boy.

Seattle!!!! Never actually been there. Going on my bucket list.

Lovely music.

Wow, I keep forgetting this is from 2005, old technology, lol laughing so hard at this. And what kind of weirdo trusts anonymous chats and goes to meet the guy to see his car and get into it without questioning? Ugh.

But God do I love big cities in the rain. So pretty. Smelly, but I love it.

And here we go, abduction, dun dun dunnnnn!

You’re already abducting her, you locked the doors, why I are you punching her?

So Aaron Hotchner, super cute!!!! His wife is familiar to me.

And who still uses faxes? Oh, yeah … 2005….

SHEMAR!!! Oh my God it’s not fair how hot this asshole is…

Inigo Montoya XD amazing that they got him into this thing, so awesome! I love Mandy. His face is so expressive and calm and blank all at the same time that it drives me insane.

Aww Gubler! When I saw a bit before I started this I got obsessed with him.

Who the hell does Hotch think he is that he’s bossing Gideon around?

A serial killer crying out for help? Kind of oxymoronic …

Who the hell wouldn’t want Gideon on their team?

Awwww old school show-opener

Yeah, I’m gonna write down only the final quotes, it’s too random at the start

Oooh, private jet! Awesome!

“Better killer” She’s already in a cage, why blindfold and gag her? And now he’s clipping her nails … what the hell kind of sick bastard are they dealing with? Ugh

“Dr. Reid, our expert on, well … everything”

I thought Hotchner was the hardass? He’s funny.

Unsub? They should explain their terminology.

Youthful arrogance. In front of Morgan? OK, dude…

Doggy!!!!!!

“The Reid Effect” I love Hotchner so much.

Seriously, Gubler is beyond amazing, I can’t believe he was a model before. And he needs to stop spinning his chair cuz it makes me dizzy.

Why is the music overwhelming?

How the hell are they ready? Gideon hasn’t spoken at all!!!!

Major depressive episode instead of nervous breakdown? Kind of more alarming.

I love it when it’s obvious they’re standing in front of a green screen and describing the scene behind them. It’s obviously fake and yet so awesome, not many shows can pull that off.

Is that the appropriate time to use the word ‘inject’?

Drama!!!! Oooh, Lola! So hot!

Haha it’s the guy from Supernatural who’s obsessed with Dean and Sam, I forgot his name.

Why is he smiling like a looney?

Emerson: “All is riddle. And the key to a riddle, is another riddle.” – please let me know when they decide to pick guys who make sense for their annoying quotes.

Yay, he has mommy issues cuz she died.

“Next time show a little leg”/”Morgan, the only time you are going to see a little leg from me is when I’m about to kick your ass.” God I love this show so much already!

A man who has a kid’s room, well, this bespeaks of serious trauma and whacakdoodleness

Haha how the fuck did Morgan know that the computer was going to do that? He’s definitely more than a pretty face.

Why the Chinese checkers?

“Try again. Fail again. Fail better.” – Samuel Beckett… again, why don’t they ever make sense?

“Try not. Do or do not.” – Yoda …. Just fell in love with this thing all over again.

And yes, I have major issues with real wounds and blood and shit, but it’s soooo good intellectually that I can overlook it. Never thought I’d live to see the day when I admitted it.

Why is the unsub carrying a clipping of a newspaper with Gideon’s face in it? Lol.

Multiple personalities now? Ugh. This is going to be a long one.

Good-to-know facts about CPR.

Wow. This guy is seriously beyond weird. His mom is treating him like a kid? “Cookies for Good Boys Only”… talk about growth complex.

Ooh, Hotch’s intense look is so mysterious.

Yay they finally figured out that the chick is still alive.

I hate it when people say they’re fine when they’re not… kind of ruins the whole façade cuz no one believes you.

The way they talk about rape and murder so nonchalantly is beyond disturbing. I have a whole new respect for cops who investigate this kind of crap.

Aww, cute old lady!!!

“You’ve reached Penelope Garcia, and the FBI’s office of supreme genius.” – and people wonder why everyone loves her.

“Well, gorgeous, you’ve just been handed to the office of too-freaking-bad”. Someone please snatch up the writers of this show, cuz they are amazing and need to be heralded as gods.

Whoa, watching Morgan go through the unsub’s routines is both disturbing and attractive. I think something’s wrong with me :O

Aww, they still have CD collections in 2005. Bless.

I respect Dr. Reid! I do!

Winston Churchill: “The farther backward you can look, the farther forward you will see.” – damn this is beyond cryptic and annoying.

Ooh, prison scene. This should be good.

Great. The other suspect is dead. Which leaves the kid from Supernatural (I’m not about to IMDB this guy, there are going to be too many and I need my brain energy to write awesome reviews of each episode of the next 12 seasons, ain’t happening).

The key is tied to his belt. That should be important. They don’t film stuff for nothing. Why racial profiling, Mr. Guardsman? You’re white, too.

Timothy Vogel. He sounds like a bad guy.

Ooh, they’re gonna freeze the information out of him! That would work on me only if the temp was below 18 Celsius.

Reid!!!! I love him.

Haha that scrawny kid was listening to hard metal? What?

Metallica makes him sleepy? What? Someone needs to check that kid’s head.

Ooh, they got the sirens going, somebody’s in trouble!

Ok, so they’re arresting a guy on the run in the car that abducted the poor girl. Way to go full circle. I like it.

How is Elle not freaking out? She’s kind of a badass.

And it’s not the right guy. Awesome.

And they’ve got a feed of the missing girl? Wow, talk about psychos.

So everyone on this team are geniuses. I love watching hot guys acting smart and doing science stuff.

And Garcia’s worked her magic.

Turns out the chick is on a boat. Nice. Very romantic to abduct a girl and take her for a midnight sail.

And Supernatural boy just gave it away. You go, Aaron!!!!

Ok, they’re just sitting and watching the events unfold, talk about helplessness.

Whoa! That girl is feisty! Even after being tortured she still kicks the bastard and tries to get away? God, I love watching this show.

Please somebody get that bastard. Please.

“I think you’re an absolute moron” – um, not the best way to approach a guy with a gun to the girl’s head. And Gideon is obviously shot. I mean, seriously? That was like the most stupid thing to do, Mandy! Come on!

Gideon – in Hebrew means might warrior … hmmm… not quite true. Technically, Gideon was the son of Yoash, who was the fifth judge in the Book of Judges in the Bible, who saved the Israelites from Medain and Amalek. If you’re gonna get your cross-culture references on, at least make sure your folklore facts are true. Kay? Sure the name stems from the concept of a might warrior, but it’s actually a reference to a guy who saved people, not the actual meaning of the word… I hate when they do that.

Sleeping Morgan… that should be NSFW … aww, baby Reid just turned over in his sleep! So freaking cute!

So baby names. If you go with Charles, Hotchner thinks of Manson. Henry – Lee Lucas. Jeffrey – Dahmer. Nice. Come on, just pick a freaking name! It’s not like he’s gonna grow up to be a serial killer with a dad like that, right? Right? ...

“Think you can hide it from an old profiler now, did ya?” hahaha I love you Mandy.

Nietzsche: “When you look long into an abyss, the abyss looks into you.” What a creepy quote to pick.

OK, see, this is seriously scary. Gideon just happens to walk into a gas station where the guy he talked about in the beginning of an episode works? I mean, odds? Way off the chart here.

 General review: So amazing! Awesome acting, such intricate plots that it’s hard to keep up with yet immensely captivating, and they know how to alleviate the seriousness of the show. I mean, no wonder it’s lasted so long. Can’t wait for the next one.