can't tell if it's dissociating or just zoning out anymore </3
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I’ve been on vacation with some family for the past week or so (as I mentioned in a previous post) and I’ve been trying so fucking hard to get them to use the right pronouns and stuff for ages, fucking ages, and we were sitting waiting to be seated at a restaurant and someone said something and I told her I already knew, and guess what, she got pissed at me and then like my dad or someone tried to explain why I was “pissy” and he used the wrong fucking pronouns and I know it’s not a big deal but idk I have had to constantly corrects them all week and I guess I broke but idk I feel like I was being over dramatic or something.
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this week is NOT going to be good for my mental health. i just know it. the only day i have off is wednesday and i work 6 and a half hour shifts for all the other days. i already went to bed early last night just bc i was feeling so mentally shitty. i couldn’t even schedule an interview for that other job i applied for bc my work schedule is so heavy this week and i was too scared to try and ask for less hours. i feel like i’ve been at rock bottom for a long time now and this might????? be????? the final straw??????
meanwhile i feel so empty that i can’t even cry about it.
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please i love you i'm begging you bring back suspension of disbelief bring back trusting the audience like. i cannot handle any more dialogue that sounds like a legal document. "hello, i am here to talk to you about the incident from a few minutes ago, because i feel you might be unwell, and i am invested in your personal wellbeing." "thank you, i am unwell because the incident was hurtful to me due to my childhood, which was bad." I CANT!!!!
do you know how many people are mad that authors use "growled" as a word for "said"? it's just poetics! they do not literally mean "growled," it's just a common replacement for "said with force but in a low tone." it's normal! do you hear me!! help me i love you please let me out of here!!!
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Ive said this before but swear the biggest skill to learn as an adult is how to resist high-pressure sales tactics. You do NOT have to answer questions with anything other than "Sorry I'm not interested." No matter how nice they are or no matter how many follow up questions they ask or even how agitated they get when you stand your ground. Just keep saying I'm not interested. Don't answer their questions. Don't give them an opening to try to push back on your reasons. Be a fucking brick wall of I'm not interested.
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I could think of no better way to share the news than this!
So when I was 17, my cat went missing and I'd given up hope of ever seeing him again.
Until on Monday, 27th of May, 2024, my friend sent me a FB post asking 'isn't that your mother?' about the person named on the microchip.
Here he is! 16 years old, and found safe, twelve whole years after he went missing!
Yesterday (Tuesday the 28th of May, 2024) I went to the rescue that had him, and I reclaimed my boy, renaming him Artie! (He'd originally been called 'Cat' because my mother and I couldn't decide on a name)
He's home safe with me now, currently inhabiting my bathroom and purring up a storm every time someone goes in there!
I'll be doing slow introductions between him and my current cat to give them the best possible chance of living in harmony!
Here's some pictures of Artie once we let him out of the carrier:
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I SPENT THIRTY FIVE FUCKING MINUTES IN THE FUCKING COUNSELORS JUST TO NOT FUCKING GET TALKED TO I COULDVE USED THAT FUCKING TIME TO GET SOME GOD DAMN WORK DONE. BUT NO! AND MY FUCKING PARENTS TREAT ME LIKE A FAILURE FOR IT! FUCKING. YAY.
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kind of obsessed with this comment from the aoteaora nz subreddit….
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can you believe that we have fanfiction. that we have websites dedicated to fanfiction. that there is a place that you can go and read tens, hundreds, thousands and thousands of pieces of writing that strangers have made. people who are not "writers". people who come home at the end of the day and have feelings and say, i am going to put that into words. i am going to share those words. short, long, sweet, sad, horny, funny, wonderful words. we are all just human and we all love to make and remake and share that with others. can you believe that.
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