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miraculouscontent · 3 years

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Didn’t Need Burrow (May 3rd-May 22nd)

Anonymous said:

Don’t Need Burrow to know that Ladybug’s distrust of Volpina will be played off as though she was simply jealous of her because she thought she was going to steal Adrien/Chat, even though she didn’t like Chat! Oh, but she did, she didn’t know it yet. That’s why she kissed him in Dark Cupid!

Not like she didn’t have a bunch of other reasons to distrust Volpina.

(the show also does this a lot where Marinette has an extra reason on top of “““jealousy,”““ like in “Oni-Chan” where the thing she was concerned about actually ended up happening, but the fandom boils everything down to jealousy anyway)

Anonymous said:

Didn’t Need Burrow: Su Han will take the Miraculouses from all the girls because he thinks girls don’t have the “physical and mental fortitude” to be heroes, giving them tto guys instead. The girls will find out about each others’ identities and join in the battle to get their Miraculouses back without any powers, led by Marinette, despite the fact that the genre of Miraculous Ladybug is supposedly Magical GIRL and thus the girls being powerful should be a given

(there was another part to this but I didn’t get it all so I clipped this ask a bit so it could work alone)

tbh the true ending should just be Marinette and the girls kicking each misogynist to the curb without any powers, and Su-Han goes last.

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: Luka and Zoe, from their styles and hints like the ice cream Luka holds in Truth and the flower on her shirt.... I'm sure at this point the writers will either send him on a tour with Jagged, or make him Zoe's bf offscreen somehow... Also more torture for Mari mentally :)

Of course. :)

Gotta make sure Marinette doesn’t have any choice but Adrien. :)

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: Zoe will be Adrien's new love interest because she's "very sweet". Mari will be okay with it because she feels the Guardian must be alone. (And she's still punishing herself for hurting Luka.) The New-Bee and Chat also bond, making her feel even more alone. (But now Lila can't claim she's jealous and her hold over the class is lessened as Zoe becomes more popular.)

I’m super not here for Marinette punishing herself (and the show possibly presenting it as her “growing up” and “doing the right thing”) and for Ladybug getting jealous over the playboy cat.

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: Prince Ali/Rose turns out to be endgame, while Rose/Juleka gets Lukanette'd -- their relationship happened mostly off-screen and we only see them pulling apart. Juleka has to let Rose go so she can live out 'every girl's dream', possibly even being put on a bus/written out of the series.

In which the Couffaines aren’t allowed nice things because they’re poor-coded.

Anonymous said:

I can’t believe the Pig’s weapon is ACTUALLY a tambourine. I’ve had that down as my guess for the pig miraculous for ages but I never thought I’d actually be right. On that note - Didn’t Need Burrow: the Ox’s weapon will definitely be a hammer, and the Goat’s might be a shepherd’s crook or grappling hook, and the Rooster’s could be a horn.

Congrats on being right!

We’ll definitely see on the whole weapons things.

Anonymous said:

Don't Need a Burrow: That Rose's mysterious sickness from "Guiltrip" episode will be ignored in other episodes.

Honestly, it was ignored in “Guiltrip” too. Rose’s illness seemed to be related to headaches and then they literally have her headbanging in her transformation.

Anonymous said:

Don't Need a Burrow: After "Guiltrip", the dynamics of Juleka and Rose's relationship will revert to the "romantic standing next to each other somewhere in the background".

Just look at them doing [friendly task]... romantically!!

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: Tikki's comments about not really understanding love are later treated as her being in denial about her being in love with Plagg. Because the two of them are 'soulmates' *just like Adrien and Marinette*, and there's no such thing as a PLATONIC bond. Plus, it's denying another feminine-identifying character the right to define and declare her own feelings -- she's not ALLOWED to not love him that way! If she says otherwise, she's either in denial or mistaken! Or both!

[flashbacks to “Animan” where Alya denies feelings for Nino as being “like a brother to her” and then gets together with him at the end of the episode]

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: In the upcoming Mr. Pigeon episode, Chat Noir's behaviour toward Mr. Ramier in Lies will not be brought up at all.

Yeah, this is why I knew writing “Lying on the Job” was the right choice. :P The show wasn’t going to do it.

(part of me hopes that this acts as a jinx but I doubt it)

soap-lady said:

Didn't Need Burrow: It will be revealed Adrien always knew about Mari's crush. He tells Plagg it's because not only would rejecting a friend be hard, her akuma would be even scarier than her dad. He later admits at the end of the episode to Plagg that having an "awesome person like Marinette" crushing on him makes him feel good about himself. The show will frame this as charming rather than egotistical.

wow i hate it

throw the whole man away, Marinette

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: The "reverse love square" will happen as a result of Adrien being drunk on a love potion/under the control of a spell which makes him fall for Marinette. This will result in Marinette being uncomfortable with Adrien's relentless pursuit of her...AGAIN...which is, of course, played for laughs...AGAIN. Her friends will probably shame her, saying, "why are you so upset? You used to like Adrien and now he's returning that affection! What is WRONG with you, Marinette?". Meanwhile, during battle sequences Chat Noir will be less playful and intrusive of Ladybug's personal space because he's in love with Marinette now and not her, which is good(minus the"in love with Marinette" part, obvs), except that it will cause Ladybug to suddenly fall in love with the new Chat Noir who is being respectful(and "just like Adrien used to act"), and she'll act like a giddy schoolgirl over him, which will be used to humiliate her for comedy as Chat treats her like a freak now. And no, the show will NOT "call him out" for suddenly being averse to the affections of the "girl of his dreams" but will treat him as justified, because guys who pursue girls are gentlemanly and entitled to love back, while girls who pursue guys are pushy and obnoxious. There will even be a lesson on how you shouldn't have to put up with unwanted advances. Chat will be the one to learn it. There will also be a lesson on how you can't force someone to love somebody else. Adrien will be the one to learn it.

Wow, how’d you get the synopsis to Season 5? Impressive! (⊙o⊙)

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: Chat will complain about Ladybug not trusting him, so she tries trusting him with further responsibilities which he then shirks, blows off and whines about. Naturally, Marinette is Wrong for DARING to think that her 'partner' should share more of the burden -- no, she HAS to carry everything herself and enable him to keep treating their duty as a game! It's not FAIR for her to expect anything more from him--!

oh my god

he would *gestures loudly to “Lies”*

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: Chat Noir will *deliberately* mess up a vital task that Ladybug assigned/entrusted him with, either to punish her for some petty/imagined slight (which is treated as Incredibly Serious and Deserving his retaliation) or because he simply doesn't want to have to deal with the extra responsibility. Much like somebody who 'never learns' the right way to load a dishwasher/do laundry/other chores so that somebody more responsible is forced to pick up their slack.

Sounds about right.

“Bonus” if Chat Noir is presented as in the right because Ladybug’s task was “too difficult”/”she didn’t instruct him right”/”you can’t expect him to be perfect on his first try,” or Chat Noir’s shirking is treated as “payback” for something she did that he maybe doesn’t even know about.

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: Marinette gives up on becoming a fashion designer because her duties as Ladybug/Guardian take priority. Tikki protests not for Mari's sake, but because she enjoys her creative drive/justifies it as a form of honing Marinette's creativity. Thus the lesson is not that Marinette was Wrong because she deserves to have things that make her happy/goals outside of her duties, but because she can fold them into her Greater Purpose.

Miraculous: Tales of Marinette Not Being Allowed to Be Happy

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: Chat Noir will be (temporarily) killed during one of his 'Pity/Praise Me!' stints, because he decides that he can't function without Ladybug kissing his ass and she's too busy fighting the akuma to coddle him. Naturally, this is presented as Marinette's F-Up of the Week that she must fix at all costs and apologize for, insisting once more that she 'can't do this without him' despite being constantly forced to do this without him.

It’s Ladybug’s fault that Chat keeps sacrificing himself, obviously! She’s just not telling him not to in the rIgHt wAy, and she should be

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: Ladybug will finally learn the truth about how Theo was akumatized, but Chat Noir will insist that he didn't lie and that she really WAS to blame for it. And anyway, that was 'so long ago' that she's not allowed to be mad over it anymore. (Bonus: this or other episodes will have callbacks showing that Adrien is still salty over things like being 'stood up', with HIS frustration presented as perfectly valid, as there's no expiration date on HER screw-ups.)

[flashbacks to “Stormy Weather 2″ where Plagg retcons Ladybug’s avoidance of Chat’s date as her standing him up]

+ Yeah, I don’t see Adrien not having expiration dates on his mistakes, and his are always for the better (i.e: stealing the book in “Volpina,” which was wrong obviously, and then Marinette covered for him immediately to get him back into school).

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: Chloe is given a 'redemption arc' after all... in the vein of her falling for Kim or some other male character and being convinced to change her ways for/by them. On top of being grossly sexist, this lets them slam Marinette even more, painting her as a failure who couldn't help Chloe despite that never being her responsibility in the first place.

“Bonus” if it’s Luka who does it.

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: Rather than confirming Juleka/Rose, CHLOE is officially revealed to be a closeted lesbian, retconning all of her bullying into the tried-and-trite 'They're only tormenting you because they LIIIIIKE you'. Bonus points if this is used to reinforce the notion that Chloe is irredeemable because 'Evil Jilted Lesbian can't be saved by Hetero LI'/she lied about crushing on Adrien/other toxic and heteronormative bullshit. AND her evilness is Mari's fault for not loving her back!

It’s always Marinette’s fault for not loving people back.

Also, this just reminds me of how much I hate the “lesbian bully” trope fdkjgdfgdfg.

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: Chat Noir throws another Pity Me Party in the middle of a fight; Ladybug is sniped by the akuma while scolding him to stop fooling around. Naturally, this is presented as HER fault for not immediately accommodating his demands for attention. After saving her, Chat mockingly echoes her words about concentrating and keeping her head in the game.

╰（‵□′）╯

EVERY TIME!!

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: Chloe gets another chance at redemption by learning how to mimic Adrien/Lila and feign niceness. Whether or not her 'redemption' sticks depends upon her patience level; if she sticks to it and 'grows' into another Lila/holier-than-thou lecturer like Adrien, it's considered good (and Adrien gets full credit for helping her change 'for the better'), but if she goes back to being *openly* judgy and bitchy, it's another sign that she's 'irredeemable'.

Ugh, when Chloe’s options are either to be a Lila or an Adrien. All I feel is disgust.

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: The Love Square is reversed when Adrien learns Ladybug's secret identity and decides to focus on pursuing her as Marinette. Mari is put off by his advances/still convinced that she can't HAVE a romantic relationship with all her other responsibilities, and is further distracted and concerned by Chat Noir growing distant (as he's bitter over his failures and taking it out on LB/holding a grudge after learning she confided in ALYA and not HIM).

i hate it

And of course the method of “now she’s not interested so I’M interested.”

Anonymous said:

Didnt Need to Burrow: Despite being 'twins' with Juleka, Luka will never show up in another episode. Ever. And the only mentions of him are only about the breakup. Even in Juleka-centric episodes, Luka will only be a passing mention. Oh, and Juleka will 100% stick to just mumbling outside of episodes where shes akumatized. Because gIrL poWeR

I’m honestly just--expecting Luka to have like one/two episodes, maybe to get a charm, and then he’s gone forever.

I don’t know if it’s a mercy or an insult, but the constant mentions of the break-up between Marinette and He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named-Outside-Of-Spiting-Him definitely are an insult.

Anonymous said:

Don't Need a Burrow: "Gigantitan <insert high number>" episode

ANYTHING BUT THAT.

Anonymous said:

Didn’t Need Burrow: Ladybug and Cat Noir will be able to power up in some way, but they have to form a special bond (this is implied to be a romantic bond). They use this power up to defeat Hawk Moth. bEcAusE tHe pOWeR oF “LoVe” cOnQUerS aLL! Bonus if the characters imply that Ladybug should’ve accepted his affections sooner (Adrien won’t be mentioned at all, i wonder why:p)

I’m cringing so hard right now. I hate everything about this because you sound so correct.

Anonymous said:

Don't Need a Burrow: Lila will be written out/ret-conned from a show because she was only a Unredeemed!Chloe stand-in for time of Chloe "redemption arc". Every speculation about Lila (next Hawkmoth etc) will be applied to Chloe instead as a "plot twist".

I’m half-expecting that she’ll get akumatized as a season finale bad guy, then just immediately move.

Anonymous said:

Didn't need Burrow: Alya is the one who comes up with the akuma repellent charms and Marinette is going to be jealous that Alya is so much a better guardian. Alya'll also probably be able to wrangle the kwamis better than Marinette.

Honestly I might as well just put this one on the card right now. :P

Anonymous said:

Didnt Need Burrow: When Ladybug tells Chat that she told somebody her secret identity, hes gonna be mad, talking about how she broke his trust and the show will portray it as her fault for breaking under the pressure of being guardian. Meanwhile the fandom is gonna be mad at Ladybug. Ignoring, of course, the entirety of the New York Special.

We could sum up the fandom card as just, “Adrien is right and a sad uwu sunshine child, Marinette is wrong and OP and doesn’t give Chat the respect he deserves.”

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: Rose's 'mysterious illness' will naturally flare up during times where Pigella might have been useful, with Ladybug getting blamed for her flare-ups/worsening condition.

BANNED

I HATE IT DX

Anonymous said:

Didn’t Need Burrow: Building off of the “Adrien knows about Marinette’s crush and manipulated her for it”, any time Marinette does something Adrien doesn’t agree with or disagrees with Adrien himself, Adrien will play the cute, naïve, sad boi we all know and “love”, complete with Bambi eyes and gratuitous long eyelashes, forcing Marinette to give in to what he wants. This is treated as cute, quirky, and hilarious, never abusive, selfish, or misogynistic.

I mean, considering Chat Noir and “Chameleon,” yeah.

Anonymous said:

Don't Need a Burrow: a) Episode, where Chat Noir is even worse than in "Lies" b) Situation where Chat Noir during meeting with Ladybug is like always (M'lady, Bugaboo, unwanted psychical contact etc.) then Ladybug reveals that she recognized him as impostor because "real Chat Noir never will be so pushy" (bonus points if false Chat Noir is akumatized Felix) c) Writers somehow manage to put both above options in one episode (obviously with real Chat Noir being even worse than his impostor)

“Copycat” but worse

differenttriumphdragon said:

Didn't Need Burrow to somehow correctly predict Zoe's identity as a joke based solely on some blurry pictures and an offhand comment about "secret siblings". Like, a YEAR or two ago.

I’m guessing this is referring to the writers creating her?

Because yeah, probably.

Anonymous said:

Didn't need the Burrow: We will get Lukagami. One of the reasons will be the clash of the Tsurugi-Motto of "No Second Chances" and Luka's snake power of "Second Chance" resulting in some weird sparks flying.

*puts head into hands and groans loudly* kill meeeee

Anonymous said:

Don't Need a Burrow: The Multimouse!Mylene's model will be based on the Multimouse!Marinette's model (in the same way that the Rena Rogue's model is based on the Volpina's model)

plz no

plz

Anonymous said:

Didn't need burrow: Guilt trip hints at Adrien having actual depression, which isn't necessarily a bad thing, but knowing the show, two things will happen: 1. His depression will only exist to make people feel bad for him instead of exploring his mental state and seeing him working through it, and 2. his depression will be magically cured when the LS becomes canon because "true love heals all your mental issues".

All of the above, yes. :|

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: Ladybug gets a fresh new look (for the sake of more Real-Life ML Merch), and Chat Noir gets sulky about it. Both because he didn't get an upgraded appearance at the exact same time (despite doing absolutely nothing to earn it), and because he didn't get any input on her new look. So he passive-aggressively complains about the change, saying he preferred 'classic Bugaboo', and Marinette is presented as Wrong for not letting him dictate her power or appearance.

*stares at “Mr. Pigeon 72″* I’m waiting.

Anonymous said:

Didn't need burrow: Imagine after you made that fic where Bustier and D'argencourt get the miraculous they reveal in the show that Bustier's husband/boyfriend/fiance is D'argencourt.

I WILL DIE.

OF LAUGHTER? OF PAIN???

THE ANSWER IS “YES.”

“Bonus” if it’s a DJWifi dynamic where Bustier can get D’Argencourt to do whatever she wants and suddenly becomes aggressive/upset when he doesn’t, which D’Argencourt immediately folds to (because the only “““girl power”““ the show knows is “lol girls are scary when they’re mad”).

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: The Love Square gets 'Reversed' via Alya deciding that Marinette MUST have a crush on Chat as well, since she personally ships LadyNoir. All insistence to the contrary is waved off as denial, and Alya is bound and determined to hook up her BFF with ONE of her crushes, come hell or high water. Thus, Mari gets shoved towards Chat in much the same way she's forced towards Adrien, creating much awkward hilarity at her expense.

Marinette’s entire being: i want to go home

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: Alya learns about Marinette getting jilted by Chat Noir during 'Weredad', possibly from Tom and/or Sabine. She rubs this into Mari's face as proof positive that she really DOES have a thing for Chat, crowing about how she 'does her research' while teasing her about her awful luck with guys. This casual cruelty is 'balanced' by her insistence that she'll help her hook up with ONE of them by forcing her towards both.

Alya, looking at her plans and just shrugging: Hey, now her odds of getting a guy are doubled as far as I’m concerned.

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: Alya will insist that all of Marinette's romantic woes are her own fault due to her being interested in multiple guys. (Mainly meaning Adrien and Chat Noir; 50-50 on whether she acknowledges Luka's existence as more than just proof of her 'fickle heart'.) She 'supports' her by shoving her into humiliating scenarios with her love interests, blaming all her failures on her 'divided loyalties' and giving her grief for being a 'dirty two-timer' that can't even get off first base.

Yyyyup.

And of course Luka would only be mentioned to shade Marinette.

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: Tikki will keep nagging Marinette about her inability to solve her romantic woes until Mari snaps that Tikki doesn't know what she's talking about, throwing her own words about how kwami don't understand love back in her face. Naturally, this is Mari's Mistake Of The Week, as Tikki is driven to tears over the rebuke and all the other kwami get pissed off at Marinette for upsetting her, giving her grief until she apologizes. Tikki barely apologizes in return, if at all.

Ugh, I am just dreading an almost-inevitable “all the kwami are mad at Marinette” episode, since Marinette literally cannot escape from them since the Miracle Box is in her room.

Anonymous said:

(Mylene's personality anon) Don't Need a Burrow: Mylene's "Marinette's trait" will manifest in Multimouse!Mylene's introduction episode.

Mylene: Soon, I will have successfully swiped a personality trait from each of my friends to form one of my own.

Anonymous said:

Don't Need a Burrow: Characters who are popular fandom choices for alternate Miraculous Holders (Bee!Aurore, Fox!Lila, Cat!Felix etc) are akumatized into evil versions of Core Five Miraculous Team (Ladybug, Cat, Fox, Turtle and Bee)

Season 2462 finale.

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: There will be more immediate self-contradictions, where Marinette is berated about how something she's doing/done is Wrong, badgered into following somebody else's 'good advice', and then promptly punished for doing so when the results blow up in her face. These turnarounds will become so fast that they happen within the same episode. Naturally, this is treated as entirely her fault.

At the rate her treatment is escalating, I would be 0% shocked. Still disappointed, but not shocked.

Anonymous said:

Don't Need a Burrow: It will turn out that the mysterious future Hawkmoth successor that Timetagger talked about is simply the Shadow Moth.

I laughed at this one so hard because it’s so accurate. I don’t know for sure if it’s a reference to the whole “new villain who’s been around since the beginning who just turned out to be Shadow Moth” thing but omg.

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: The akuma-resisting pendants are used as an excuse to push Marinette even further past her breaking point, subjecting her to ever worse humiliations and traumas. If the fact that she basically NEEDS the pendant to survive is ever brought up, it's in a chiding way; obviously, as Ladybug, she needs to be mentally stronger than this and not rely on a 'crutch'. Nobody else is insulted for needed the pendants' protection.

Imagine the pendants as metaphors for medication and this takes on a whole new meaning.

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: In a counterpart to "Chat Blanc", one episode visits a Bad Future where Marinette was akumatized. Naturally, this is depicted as entirely her fault, with both Maris being raked over the coals. No matter what the breaking point was, it's treated as though it was petty and pathetic for her to let it effect her so much. For bonus points, this was at a point after she got the pendant, but she accidentally ditches or pitches it while reacting to whatever broke her back.

Especially with the reveal of two new seasons, I’m very much expecting Marinette to get akumatized at some point.

“Bonus” for a “Miracle Queen” set-up where Adrien needs to wear the ladybug miraculous and is suddenly good at it despite being awful at it before, ala Snake Noir.

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: Marinette will wind up making most of the anti-akuma amulets. This is purely so that, when they inevitably fail, she can be blamed for it.

It’ll probably be like--Marinette needed to do something specific to make the pendants and they’re “only as strong as she is.”

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: The Love Square gets reversed when Alya decides she ships LadyNoir more than MariAdri, pushing her newfound agenda over her BFF's protests. Meanwhile, Adrien reveals that he knew all along about Marinette's crush, starting to pursue her because he just doesn't uNdErStAnD why she's pulling away, feeling entitled to having her chasing after him even if he never intends to actually reciprocate. Marinette is caught in the middle and blamed for all this drama.

Marinette, counting down the days where she can finally drink alcohol.

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: One or some of Adrien/Chat Noir's past lies gets revealed to Marinette/Ladybug... for the sake of a moral about forgiveness and 'letting things go'. Meanwhile, he continues to grouse and hold grudges against Ladybug for her supposed slights against HIM without being seriously challenged.

I’m seething.

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: Marinette is shown a 'better world' wherein she never developed a crush on Adrien. In this 'better world', Ladybug and Chat Noir are romantic partners. Bonus points if this pushes forward the agenda of reversing the Love Square by getting Marinette to start seriously considering Chat as a potential love interest, treating this as her 'missing the point' of what she was shown... even if the goal was rather unclear beyond guilt-tripping her for having FEELINGS and DESIRES.

The true goal/moral is that Chat’s feelings are valid while Marinette’s are not.

Anonymous said:

Don't Need a Burrow: Hawkmoth will somehow get Black Cat Miraculous and attack as Moth / Cat Fusion (Cat Moth?). After defeating this form, Black Cat Miraculous will be taken from him and without any questions returned to Adrien. Whole thing will happen in one episode.

“Bonus” if Hawk Moth just stumbles upon the ring and doesn’t question it.

Anonymous said:

Didn’t Need Burrow: All Ladybug and Black Cat Holders are soulmates/ have gotten romantically involved. This gives Chat even MORE motivation to invade LB’s boundari-I MEAN to pursue her. Also, LB reacts in horror to this (who wouldn’t?) but its played for laughs.

At this point, I feel like this is the only way for them to push the love square as hard as possible. “Chemistry” has just flown out the window and they need a crutch.

Anonymous said:

Don't Need a Burrow: Reveal that Rose has rich parents because ML writers can't make sad blond(e) character who doesn't have rich parents (and also to increase the "You see! They love each other despite so many differences between them" factor of JuleRose)

Zag, “Stop Giving Rich Kids Sad Backstories” Challenge.

Part of me imagined an episode that just shipbaits JuleRose constantly, with Juleka constantly asking Luka and others advice on “getting closer to Rose,” which just ends up being Juleka asking Rose to be best friends.

#Didn't Need Burrow

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animepreferences · 4 years

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P R E F E R E N C E #11 - D E P R E S S I O N

WARNING - TRIGGER WARNING! IF YOU HAVE A HISTORY OF MENTAL ILLNESS, THIS PROMPT MENTIONS THOSE TOPICS AND YOU SHOULD PROCEED WITH CAUTION KNOWING THAT IT WILL ABSOLUTELY BE MENTIONED! PLEASE DON’T READ IF YOU ARE SENSITIVE TO THIS CONTENT!

D A Z A I

“I don’t like this anymore than you do.” You would whisper, your eyes unmoving from the wall in front of you. Even though you would never once turn around to face him, you would still be able to detect his presence, his eyes burning holes into your back. “I know you don’t.” Dazai would murmur, his voice growing closer as his dull footsteps would inch near the bed. “I would be concerned if I felt you were enjoying living in the state of mind.” He would chuckle humorlessly, the bed dipping beneath you as he joined you in bed, his warm limbs entangling with your frigid ones. It was the first time he had tried to touch you in days simply because he had been trying to give you the space he felt you needed. He had realized his endeavors were futile, nevertheless, realizing a little too late that you needed him. You needed his touch, his presence, his words of encouragement. You needed him period. And he had let you down. It hadn’t been on purpose, but it had still happened. How were you ever going to forgive him? Would you be able to? “I understand why you don’t want to be around me though. I’m not angry. In fact, I understand. You have your own demons, you don’t need to shoulder mine.” You would state curtly, your voice faraway as you closed your eyes basking in the wonderful feeling of having him close to you again. His heart would quite literally crumble at your words. “I always want to be around you, my love. Your demons are my demons, just like mine are yours. We’re a team now, Y/N. I’m sorry I’ve left you alone in this to feel that way about me. I love you very, very much. And we both know that I don’t ever say that lightly.” You shivered as you felt his lips on your neck, his words hot against your cold skin. This touch alone was enough to make you forget for a fleeting second about how empty you were feeling. Surely, it wasn’t enough to cure your dark emotions, but it was a nice distraction-a bandaid, if you will. “Dazai, how do you do it? How do you feel like this constantly and still have the courage to do what you do?” You would ask very seriously, turning around to face him as your eyes bored into his. “Are you asking me what my muse is in existing? What keeps me going even when I feel like life is an endless void of suffering?” Dazai would inquire, taking you into his arms as he stared down at you with an indescribable emotion stirring in his features. All you could do was nod as you took in his ominous form, not sure you were really wanting an answer to the question that you were so painfully curious about. “It’s quite simple, really. My muse in getting up every morning and wanting to right my wrongs, my purpose to living in this cruel, dark world is nothing less or more than the love I have for you, Y/N.” Your heart would stop all together before propelling into an alarming rate knowing that the indistinguishable emotions in his face had been nothing but ardor and pure love for you. Dazai wasn’t typically one to let his exterior guard down, but for you it was nothing. He loved you. He really, really loved you. “And that is the exact reason why I know you’re going to get through this. Because I love you and I will never give up on you because you never gave up on me. We’re in this together now, my dear, sweet Y/N.” And with that, his lips would be crashing against yours with the most sincere, most gentle touch.

A K U T A G A WA

“Do you think I am a fool?” His words would pull you up short, your body freezing in place as you turned slowly on your heel to face him. His face would be stone cold, his expression unreadable as he stared intently at you. “Of course not.” You would whisper, your eyebrows furrowing together as you took in his unmoving expression. He was completely still. In fact, you had never seen Aku look so frozen in your life. You would be lying if you said it didn’t frighten you, for you knew this was the calm before a massive storm. “Then why are you lying to me.” Even though his words were supposed to come out as a question, you could hear the statement plain and simple behind his words. This was not a question, no. This was a confrontation. A confrontation that you were destined to lose. Gaping at him for a moment, your head would drop as the tears rushed to your eyes before you could fight it. You hated crying, but what you hated more was having to explain your actions. Why you hadn’t been eating, why you had been spending more time in bed than not, why you had been taking extra long showers and dissociating from Akutagawa for decent periods of time. Furthermore, you knew you were going to have to come clean about your trauma, your depression. You hated it. You hated it more than you could even bear. “I don’t want to lose you.” You would gasp, forcing yourself to look through your blurry vision at your unreadable boyfriend. “I-I-I am damaged goods. I haven’t been depressed since we’ve been together, but this is who I am. This is what I go through from time to time. And I-I really don’t want to lose you because of this.” You would force yourself to pull it together, taking a deep breath as you closed your eyes. You had mastered the art at stifling your emotions. You had mastered the art of pretending like you were okay. “Do you seriously think you’d lose me because of that?” Aku would ask, his tone cold and glaring. “Y/N. You are allowed to be depressed. You are allowed to feel other emotions other than happiness. That is what being human is. It’s not always perfect. It’s not always jubilant. You CANNOT control that. You can control being honest though, which you failed to do making you exceedingly selfish.” He was scolding you, but it wasn’t to parent you. He was scolding you because he felt slighted. He felt slighted and left out of the loop. And he had every right to feel that way, you couldn’t deny that. That made you feel even worse. “I never looked at it that way, I’m just so very ashamed of myself. I’m sorry, Akutagawa, truly.” As he stepped toward you, he let out a complicated sigh, the different emotions flitting across his face in a millisecond. “Typical me making you feel bad for being depressed. I’m not use to taking care of people and having people in my life the way I have you. I shouldn’t be frustrated with you when you’re suffering as you are. I’m the one that should be apologizing, not you.” Wrapping his arms around you as he enveloped you in a bone crushing hug, you would sigh gratefully at his touch. “We’re a mess.” You would laugh against his chest, smiling as you felt his body rumble with laughter as well. “You’re gonna get through this, you know that?” He would finally ask, pulling away to look sincerely at you. With his complete confidence and support, how could you not make it through a depressive stage? “As long as I have you anything is possible.”

C H U U Y A

“Are-Are you crying?” You would be horrified. Absolutely, positively horrified. For there stood your beloved boyfriend, the person whom which you adored with your entire soul and being and he would be crying. He would be crying and you wouldn’t know why. “Chuuya.” You would breathe, inching towards him as the pads of your thumbs brushed away his fallen tears. “W-What happened?” You would inquire, your breath hitching in your throat as his miserable eyes would connect with your own. “Y/N, what’s wrong with you?” He would speak, his words no softer than a broken whisper. “You’re growing so thin, you never sleep anymore, I can barely get you to eat or take a shower or do anything. I-I feel like you’re just a hallow version of yourself and I have no idea what to do or how to help you. I feel so helpless. All I want is to make you happy,” Pressing his fingertips gingerly against your cheeks, his eyes would be wild with desperation looking for the slightest bit of life in your dead eyes. Where was that spark? That light? He missed it so much. He missed you so much. Too much. “Chuuya, there’s something you should know.” You would sigh, pressing your forehead against his as you would slump with complete fatigue. You were exhausted, exhausted from the disorder, but you needed to find the courage, the strength to tell Chuuya everything. Furthermore, he deserved it. He deserved to know why you were hurting yourself and hurting him in the process. So, you would tell him. You would pour your complete heart out, starting from phase one. Starting from when you first got these feelings, how you had grown up with them, how you had suffered for an extensive period of time. Most importantly, you would assure him that none of it was his fault. That no matter what he had been telling himself, there was not a single thing that he could do to make your emotions go away. Little did you know that that wouldn’t sit well with him. Not. One. Bit. “You are wrong.” Chuuya would snap, letting go of your hand as he would pace back and forth his face complex with distress.

“Chuuya, no-“

“No, Y/N. I will not stand here and allow you to give up on yourself. We are going to fight this sickness head on. You are going to eat, I am going to make sure of it. We are going to be active, we’re going to get out and run and live. I am going to get you help, we’ll get you medicine or get you to a therapist if we have to. No longer am I going to let you sit here and be captive to your mind. From now on you are at MY mercy. And, Y/N, my dear, you aren’t going to like me. But you WILL thank me. Because I am going to get you through this.” You wouldn’t know what to say. You were terrified, relieved, angry, and overjoyed at the same time. Not once had someone ever taken you into consideration the way he was doing now. He loved you. He really, really loved you. “I swear to everything, Y/N, that if it is the last thing I do I will see that spark in your eye again. I promise you’ll be happy again.” Pulling you into his chest, he would hold on to you tight as you would bury yourself in the crook of his neck. Little did he know that the sparkle in your eyes, though very dim, were starting to make their return. And it was all thanks to him.

A/N: I know this is a little intense, but I like to write about things that are personal to me and I struggle tremendously with my mental health. Thank you for reading and I am very sorry if it was too much.

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flirting-with-psychology · 4 years

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1. I own a ferret. 2. My best friend is my boyfriend 3. My best friend is a girl 4. I use the word super way too much 5. I am a boy 6. I like My Chemical Romance 7. I own more than 100 CDs 8. I like discussing politics 9. I collect state quarters 10. The Legend of Zelda is my favorite video game. 11. I have Cingular 12. I love MAC makeup 13. I smoke too much 14. I own more than 5 bandanas 15. My favorite movie is Kill Bill 16. I watched Lamb Chop when I was young 17. I have my ears gauged 18. I can do HTML without guidance 19. I watch Spongebob Squarepants regularly. 20. I go to the movies at least once a week 21. I play guitar or bass 22. I love Elvis 23. I’ve had a mo/bi/trihawk before 24. I have met my favorite band 25. I like to hardcore dance 26. Something’s outside my window 27. I believe in ghosts 28. I do drugs regularly 29. I am straightedge 30. My favorite feature about myself is my lips 31. I have never consumed alcohol 32. I want a tattoo. 33. My favorite actor is Will Ferrell. 34. I have seen Conan O'Brien live. 35. I hate MTV 36. I used to watch Cheaters every week 37. I have my own vaccuum 38. Frank Sinatra is awesome 39. I sleep with a stuffed animal 40. I am scared of werewolves 41. I watch hockey regularly 42. I am originally from New York 43. I own an iPod 44. Some people aren’t funny. 45. I hate school. 46. My favorite vegetable is lettuce. 47. Tickle fights are fun. 48. I am currently unemployed. 49. I have my license 50. I hate spelling mistakes 51. I love Spanish class 52. I live in a big city 53. I have been to the Grand Canyon 54. I listen to music to fall asleep 55. I watch TV to fall asleep 56. I only get a few hours of sleep each night 57. I’m relatively innocent. 58. I am a size 3 or smaller 59. I’m bored. 60. Purple is my favorite color. 61. I hate flossing 62. I have a car. 63. I believe in God 64. I’m in love. 65. I used to love Unwritten Law. 66. Reno 911 is my favorite show. 67. There is a mini stapler on my computer desk. 68. Cuddling’s my favorite. 69. For sure. 70. I have a flip phone 71. I love my handwriting 72. I own a Louis Vuitton handbag 73. I want to be an astronaut. 74. I love the song Dragostea Din Tei 75. 50 Cent is not talented 76. I like scanners better than digital cameras. 77. I own at least one Punk-O-Rama CD 78. My room is sound proof. 79. I’m 5'5 or less 80. Lying pisses me off 81. I backstab people. 82. I have been in a fist fight. 83. I have PaintShop Pro. 84. It’s almost midnight 85. My nightlight is cracked 86. I only listen to Dashboard Confessional when I’m sad 87. And I feel like a pansy when I do so 88. I hate metal 89. I’m in a band. 90. Napoleon Dynamite is annoying now. 91. I love hickeys 92. I want to lose weight 93. My favorite channel is the Food Network. 94. I don’t have a CD burner. 95. Pixar is stupid except for the Incredibles 96. I own an apartment/house 97. I am engaged. 98. My computer’s a Gateway. 99. I hate driving. 100. I like watching boys sleep. =========================== 01. I miss someone right now 02. I don’t watch much TV these days 03. I love olives 04. I love sleeping 05. I own lots of books 06. I wear glasses or contact lenses 07. I love to play video games 08. I’ve tried marijuana 09. I’ve watched porn movies 10. I have been in a threesome 11. I have been the psycho-ex in a past relationship 12. I believe honesty is usually the best policy 13. I have acne free skin usually 14. I like and respect Al Sharpton 15. I curse frequently 16. I have changed a lot mentally over the last year 17. I have a hobby 18. I’ve been told I can suck the chromes off a trailer hitch. 19. I carry my knife/razor everywhere with me 20. I’m smart 21. I’ve never broken someone’s bones 22. I have a secret that I am ashamed to reveal 23. I hate the rain 24. I’m paranoid at times 25. I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scars. 26. I need money right now! 27. I love Sushi 28. I talk really, really fast sometimes 29. I have fresh breath in the morning 30. I have semi-long hair 31. I have lost money in Las Vegas 32. I have at least one brother and/or one sister 33. I was born in a country outside of the U.S. 34. I shave my legs 35. I have a twin 36. I have worn fake hair/fingernails/eyelashes in the past 37. I couldn’t survive without Caller I.D. 38. I like the way that I look sometimes 39. I have lied to a good friend in the last 6 months 40. I know how to do cornrows 41. I am usually pessimistic 42. I have a lot of mood swings 43. I think prostitution should be legalized 44. I think Britney Spears is hot 45. I have cheated on a significant other in the past 46. I have a hidden talent 47. I’m always hyper no matter how much sugar I have. 48. I think that I’m popular 49. I am currently single 50. I have kissed someone of the same sex 51. I enjoy talking on the phone 52. I practically live in sweatpants or PJ pants 53. I love to shop. 54. I would rather shop than eat 55. I would classify myself as ghetto. 56. I’m bourgie and have worn a sweater tied around my shoulders 57. I’m obsessed with my Livejournal 58. I don’t hate anyone. 59. I’m a pretty good dancer 60. I don’t think Mike Tyson raped Desiree Washington 61. I’m completely embarrassed to be seen with my mother 62. I have a cell phone 63. I believe in God/ a higher being. 64. I watch MTV/Vh1 on a daily basis 65. I have passed out drunk in the past 6 months 66. I love drama. 67. I have never been in a real romantic relationship before 68. I’ve rejected someone before 69. I currently have a crush on someone 70. I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life 71. I want to have children in the future 72. I have changed a diaper before 73. I’ve called the cops on a friend before 74. I bite my nails 75. I am a member of the Tom Green fan club 76. I’m not allergic to anything 77. I have a lot to learn 78. I have dated someone at least 10 years older or younger 79. I plan on seeing Ice Cube’s newest “Friday” movie 80. I am sometimes shy around the opposite sex 81. I’m online 24/7, even as an away message 82. I have at least 5 away messages saved 83. I have tried alcohol or drugs before 84. I have made a move on a friend’s significant other in the past 85. I own the “South Park” movie 86. I have avoided assignments at work/school to be on Xanga or Livejournal 87. When I was a kid I played “the birds and the bees” with a neighbor or chum 88. I enjoy some country music 90. I think that Pizza Hut has the best pizza 91. I watch soap operas whenever I can 92. I’m obsessive, anal retentive, and often a perfectionist 93. I have used my sexuality to advance my career 94. I love Michael Jackson, scandals and all 95. I know all the words to Slick Rick’s “Children’s Story” 96. Halloween is awesome because you get free candy 97. I watch Spongebob Squarepants and I like it 98. I have dated a close friend’s ex 99. I’m happy as of this moment 100. I was born in the 80s but I am truly a child of the 90s 101. I have slapped john dasaro and chris burke in the face..on the same night 102. I haven’t showered in two days… and I like it. 103. i own every f***er here 104. I procrastinate all the time 105. I’m a nerd 106. I LOVE the movie The Wedding Singer. 107. i hate corn. 108. i’ve attended the rocky horror picture show 109. i’ve never seen Bambi the movie 110. Thinking about the future terrifies me 111. Without music there would be no point in living. 112. If I could change one thing about myself I would 113. If someone of the same sex liked me, I would date them. 114. I went to the mall today for 5 hours ================================ Would do Have Done

001. Bought everyone in the pub a drink 002. Swam with wild dolphins 003. Climbed a mountain *004. Taken a Ferrari for a test drive 005. Been inside the Great Pyramid 006. Held a tarantula. *007. Taken a candlelit bath with someone 008. Said ‘I love you’ and meant it. 009. Hugged a tree *010. Done a striptease 011. Bungee jumped *012. Visited Paris 013. Watched a lightning storm at sea *014. Stayed up all night long, and watch the sun rise several times *015. Seen the Northern Lights 016. Gone to a huge sports game 017. Walked the stairs to the top of the leaning Tower of Pisa *018. Grown and eaten your own vegetables *019. Touched an iceberg *020. Slept under the stars 021. Changed a baby’s diaper 022. Taken a trip in a hot air balloon *023. Watched a meteor shower *024. Gotten drunk on champagne *025. Given more than you can afford to charity 026. Looked up at the night sky through a telescope 027. Had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment 028. Had a food fight 029. Bet on a winning horse 030. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill 031. Asked out a stranger 032. Had a snowball fight 033. Photocopied your bottom on the office photocopier 034. Screamed as loudly as you possibly can 035. Held a lamb 036. Organized and planned a surprise party for a loved one *037. Taken a midnight skinny dip 038. Taken an ice cold bath 039. Had a meaningful conversation with a beggar 040. Seen a total eclipse 041. Ridden a roller coaster 042. Hit a home run 043. Fit three weeks miraculously into three days 044. Danced like a fool and not cared who was looking *045. Adopted an accent for an entire day 046. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors 047. Actually felt happy about your life, even for just a moment *048. Had two hard drives for your computer *049. Visited all 50 states 050. Loved your job for all accounts *051. Taken care of someone who was really sick *052. Had enough money to be truly satisfied 053. Had amazing friends 054. Danced with a stranger in a foreign country *055. Watched wild whales 056. Stolen a sign 057. Backpacked in Europe *058. Taken a road-trip 059. Rock climbing 060. Lied to foreign government’s official in that country to avoid notice *061. Midnight walk on the beach 062. Sky diving *063. Visited Ireland 064. Been heartbroken longer then you were actually in love 065. In a restaurant, sat at a stranger’s table and had a meal with them *066. Visited Japan 067. Bench pressed your own weight 068. Milked a cow 069. Alphabetized your records 070. Pretended to be a superhero 071. Sung karaoke 072. Lounged around in bed all day 073. Protested something you feel strongly against 074. Scuba diving *075. Got it on to “Let’s Get It On” by Marvin Gaye 076. Kissed in the rain 077. Played in the mud 078. Played in the rain *079. Gone to a drive-in theater 080. Done something you should regret, but don’t regret *081. Visited the Great Wall of China 082. Discovered that someone who’s not supposed to have known about your blog has discovered your blog 083. Dropped Windows in favor of something better 084. Started a business 085. Fallen in love and not had your heart broken 086. Toured ancient sites 087. Taken a martial arts class 088. Swordfought for the honor of a woman 089. Played D&D for more than 6 hours straight *090. Gotten married 091. Been in a movie 092. Crashed a party 093. Loved someone you shouldn’t have *094. Kissed someone so passionately it made them dizzy 095. Gotten divorced 096. Started an office war 097. Gone without food for 5 days 098. Made cookies from scratch 099. Won first prize in a costume contest 100. Ridden a gondola in Venice 101. Gotten a tattoo 102. Found that the texture of some materials can turn you on 103. Rafted the Snake River 104. Been on television news programs as an “expert" 105. Got flowers for no reason 106. Made out in a public place 107. Got so drunk you don’t remember anything 108. Been addicted to some form of illegal drug 109. Performed on stage 110. Been to Las Vegas 111. Recorded music 112. Eaten shark *113. Drank an entire 6 pack by yourself *114. Gone to Thailand 115. Seen Siouxsie *116. Bought a house 117. Been in a combat zone 118. Buried one/both of your parents 119. Shaved all of your hair off *120. Been on a cruise ship 121. Spoken more than one language fluently 122. Gotten into a fight while attempting to defend someone 123. Bounced a check 124. Performed in theatre 125. Read - and understood - your credit report *126. Raised children 127. Recently bought and played with a favorite childhood toy *128. Followed your favorite band/singer on tour *129. Created and named your own constellation of stars 130. Taken a bicycle tour in a foreign country 131. Found out something significant that your ancestors did 132. Called or written your Congress person 133. Picked up and moved to another city to just start over 135. Walked the Golden Gate Bridge 136. Sang loudly in the car, and didn’t stop when you knew someone was looking 137. Had an abortion 138. Had plastic surgery 139. Survived an accident that you shouldn’t have survived 140. Wrote articles for a large publication 141. Lost over 100 pounds 142. Held someone while they were having a flashback 143. Piloted an airplane 144. Petted a stingray 145. Broken someone’s heart 146. Helped an animal give birth 147. Been fired or laid off from a job 148. Won money on a TV game show 149. Broken a bone 150. Killed a human being *151. Gone on an African photo safari 152. Ridden a motorcycle 153. Driven any land vehicle at a speed of greater than 100mph 154. Had a body part of yours below the neck pierced 155. Fired a rifle, shotgun, or pistol 156. Eaten mushrooms that were gathered in the wild 157. Ridden a horse 158. Had major surgery 159. Ridden on a passenger train 160. Had a snake as a pet 161. Hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon 162. Slept through an entire flight: takeoff, flight, and landing 163. Slept for more than 30 hours over the course of 48 hours 164. Visited more foreign countries than U.S. states *165. Visited all 7 continents 166. Taken a canoe trip that lasted more than 2 days 167. Eaten kangaroo meat 168. Fallen in love at an ancient Mayan burial ground 169. Been a sperm or egg donor 170. Eaten sushi 171. Had your picture in the newspaper 172. Had 2 (or more) healthy romantic relationships for over a year in your lifetime *173. Changed someone’s mind about something you care deeply about 174. Gotten someone fired for their actions 175. Gone back to school 176. Parasailed 177. Changed your name 178. Petted a cockroach 179. Eaten fried green tomatoes 180. Read The Iliad 181. Selected one "important” author who you missed in school, and read 182. Dined in a restaurant and stolen silverware, plates, cups because your apartment needed them 183. …and gotten 86'ed from the restaurant because you did it so many times, they figured out it was you 184. Taught yourself an art from scratch 185. Killed and prepared an animal for eating 186. Apologized to someone years after inflicting the hurt *187. Skipped all your school reunions 188. Communicated with someone without sharing a common spoken language 189. Been elected to public office 190. Written your own computer language 191. Thought to yourself that you’re living your dream 192. Had to put someone you love into hospice care 193. Built your own PC from parts 194. Sold your own artwork to someone who didn’t know you 195. Had a booth at a street fair 196: Dyed your hair blue 197: Been a DJ 198: Found out someone was going to dump you via LiveJournal 199: Written your own role playing game 200: Been arrested ====================== 1. I have self-mutilated before. 2. I still love the song Dragostea Din Tei 3. I used to like New Kids on the Block 4. The 80s was funny. 5. I have realtones enabled on my cellular phone. 6. Public bathrooms scare me 7. I have keys on my belt 8. I’m not wearing a belt 9. I hate writing 10. I hate reading 1. I love compilation CDs 12. My favorite teachers have all been guys 13. I think Bad Religion’s only been around for ten or so years 14. I don’t know who Bad Religion is. 15. I don’t wear my hood unless it’s raining 16. I enjoy smaller clubs rather than big ones 17. I’ve put a song on repeat for more than 8 hours 18. I have sound on my computer 19. Someone wants my hiney. 20. My mom loves Elvis 21. I have my own computer 22. I live on the east coast 23. My favorite animal is a kangaroo 24. I’m on vacation 25. I don’t own a pair of ripped jeans 26. I am very insecure somewhat 27. I love to dance 28. I curse way too much. 29. I choose the pansy way and star out my curse words (f*ck) 30. I feel dumb because I was just called a pansy 31. I have a flatscreen computer 32. I collect something. 33. I’m married 34. I won’t date someone who’s smaller than me smaller, as in also shorter? 35. Brass knuckles are the shit. 36. I own a hand puppet 37. I write with blue pens 38. I wear eye makeup almost every day 39. I wish I lived somewhere other than here 40. I don’t own a band shirt. Not yet anyway.. 41. I love techno. 42. I have my nipples pierced 43. I’m shitty at wrapping presents 44. I know someone in the KKK 45. I’m racist/anti-semitist. 46. I don’t know what those mean. 47. I love life most of the time 48. I have posters all over my room 49. I’ve never been a camera whore with someone.. And I want to. 50. I’m halfway done 51. I wish I lived in the 80s 52. I know what the term borgie means 53. I’m interested in social hierarchy. 54. I love music videos. 55. I have a DVD player 56. I’m drunk right now 57. I’m listening to music 58. I have a big screen TV 59. I have an STD 60. I know the singer of the Clash’s name 61. The only IM program I have is AIM 62. I skateboard regularly 63. I live on the north side of town 64. I have been to Alaska 65. I’ve worn a cowboy hat 66. I watch late night infomercials for retarded, unnecessary things 67. I LOVE DOING THE DEATH GROWL TO MY FAVORITE METAL SONGS. 68. That last question was dumb. 69. I know what the word “peligroso” means in English 70. I speak another language fluently 71. I’ve been in a limo 72. I own a bong 73. My lungs hurt 74. I know someone who’s committed suicide 75. I’ve got a six pack and I don’t need you! 76. I know what band sung the above line 77. I like strong boys. 78. I’m sick right now 79. I know someone who’s currently enlisted in the army 80. I do not own a color phone 81. My birthday is in September 82. I hate mall cops 83. I hate most cops in general 84. I’m wearing blush 85. I live in an apartment 86. I’m still in high school. 87. I own something from Victoria’s Secret 88. I don’t know a boy that wears girls pants 89. I’ve had the same best friend since I was 8. 90. Brownies are my favorite 91. So is cake 92. I’ve heard the song “Looks Good in Leather” 93. I own some sort of propaganda, fake or real 94. I deny the Holocaust happened 95. Kisses are my favorite sign of affection 96. I need to charge my phone 97. My purse could pass for a suitcase 98. I take birth control 99. I only buy what’s fashionable

1. I love bolding 2. I know someone named Mimi 3. I hate my old best friend 4. My favorite alcoholic drink is Jack n Coke 5. I have a digital camera 6. I’m talking to at least one person online 7. I like watching college basketball 8. I have never moved. 9. I have at least one cat 10. I have at least one dog 11. I’m going to see a movie tonight maybe 12. I make my own AIM icons 13. I’m in pain 14. I watch more than five shows a day 15. I love the Cure 16. My parents like some of the same music I do 17. I have never been to the dentist 18. I listen to the radio 19. I do my own laundry 20. I’ve made at least one article of clothing 21. I have/want something on my face pierced 22. I go to at least one concert a week 23. I’ve written a story 24. I’ve dyed my hair every color of the rainbow 25. I own a Grand Theft Auto game 26. My favorite pattern is camoflauge 27. I know someone who does/did cocaine 28. I have too many game systems 29. I love scary movies 30. I hate scary movies 31. I’ve had sex more than 5 times 32. My favorite chips are Lays Original 33. I think butter is unhealthy 34. I hate the Osbournes 35. I used to have dreadlocks 36. I need to take medicine for something 37. I suffer from insomnia 38. I speak ebonics 39. I’ve gambled 40. And won 41. I have at least one gay friend 42. I like going to pet stores 43. I own a dog toy 44. And I don’t have a dog 45. I own more than ten candles 46. I’ve smoked a cigarette in the shower before 47. I’ve flunked a class 48. I listen to music every day 49. I have more than one nickname 50. I wear pajamas when I feel like it 51. I’m wearing more than one jewelry item 52. I haven’t washed my hair in a week 53. I watch the Grammy’s every year 54. Along with the Macy’s Parade 55. My favorite season is winter 56. I have seen the All American Rejects live 57. And I’ve enjoyed it. 58. Boobs are nothing special 59. I go swimming at least once a week in summer. 60. I have a pool. 61. I’ve gone skinnydipping 62. I’ve played strip poker 63. And lost 64. I want a nautical star tattoo 65. My cell phone turns off when it’s charging 66. And it pisses me off 67. I used to buy my entire wardrobe from Hot Topic 68. I’ve been to albinoblacksheep.com 69. My favorite subject is History 70. And/or math 71. I am a republican 72. I am a democrat 73. I listen to the Used occasionally 74. I have been to the Warped Tour 75. I am part Mexican 76. I am part German 77. All of my grandparents are still alive. 79. I love bowling 80. I know that there is a South Park, Colorado 81. I love Dairy Queen 82. Sometimes I think I’m crazy 83. I own a Moffatts CD 84. I own a Backstreet Boys CD 85. I want plastic surgery 86. Operation, operation, snip and tie, snip and tie 87. I know what song that line is from 88. I have killed something [bugs!] 89. I’ve never had a Nokia cell phone 90. I’m never sarcastic 91. Light eyes turn me on 92. I have never been to a foreign country 93. I don’t eat enough 94. I own illegal weaponry 95. I know someone who has overdosed on something 96. And lived to tell about it 97. I don’t own a pair of mittens 98. I love the heat 99. I’ve never had a steady boyfriend/gf 100. I want to makeout.

#survey

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vanityloves · 4 years

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Storm and ivy + medic

@septemberlove i have. no excuse for how late these are but uh. thank you for sending these in 💕.

[word count: 1.8k+ with the longest 'authors note' bc im mentally ill]

sfw, mmm comfy cozy, general sick hcs,

storm - what are cozy days in with your f/o like?

Whenever I think of cozy days, my brain immediately goes to rainy/chilly weather where we can cuddle up together and my brain short fuses. I'm gonna assume this is just like a day off or something though!

How I visual them together vs how I write them is odd because they technically don't act or accept they're 'together' until after the comics but I always write them like they're in a Steady Relationship while on base. I'm always writing a slight AU if you will. Or maybe it's after they get their jobs back at Mann co - I should highkey adjust that but No ♥️. No more thinking, just content based off my idealized universe.

There's definitely a point in their relationship where it's like 'I think I have to put in a little more work here'. I'm not saying either party is slacking but they're slacking ♥️. Neither of them really take action. Chef doesn't blame him or really complain about it because that's their nature, plus they don't know how romantic relationships really work or flow, especially with a person like him. Medic doesn't see an issue with anything and continues on with his normal business.

What I mean by slacking is, there's not a lot of quality time being spent together which would be fine if it wasn't both of their strongest Love Languages, which could help them strengthen their relationship. It's odd because they're 'romantically involved' but they don't spend a lot of time together for either of them to consider it romantic, simply because it's on company time.

ANYWAYS THATS JUST ME BEING CONVOLUTED. FEEL FREE TO JUST IGNORE ALL OF THIS.

Medic goes to bed pretty late and wakes up at a fairly early hour. Chef is a late sleeper and forced to be an early riser because their Actual Job is to make at least 2 or 3 meals a day (if they want something else, they're on their own but hate when anyone messes up the kitchen and will honestly, stand there and watch said person).

There's minimal time they can spend together if they want to do their own activities - for Medic, it's tinkering around with organs or in Engie's garage, for Chef, they're typically meal prepping or trying to tend to an animal or plant of some sort.

Medic is actually more direct about wanting attention and it's never been a problem because he's cautious about it. Chef is more emotionally inclined and willing to drop hints that they want more attention.

Chef probably has one day off where it's a complete free for all, for the rest of the team, which would be the perfect time to spend with Medic - If he wanted to stop working, that is. Just don't picture it but, Chef will literally sit in the medbay for hours just to be near the guy, but it isn't bad? The drone of machinery or the scratching of his pen is relaxing, or having his doves nearby is always sweet! Plus, he's prone to talking their ear off when he finds something interesting, so they'll chime in and have some back and forth.

But, yknow - sometimes having someone's undivided attention is nice and Chef is pretty dense when it comes to that and wonders why they feel so upset.

They swallow their pride and ask Medic if they sleep in his room one night and Medic's not as dense as Chef, he understands that they'd never ask for something so out of the blue for no reason and he promises to finish up his work early so they could head to bed together. Chef had nothing planned, they literally just needed that affection and closeness - since it was their day off Medic takes the hint and puts his work aside for the time being.

They'd probably sleep in and stay in bed a while longer before getting ready together - no uniform required. Chef isn't so talkative in the mornings, Medic's noticed, but they were happily fiddling with his buttons and tie, humming in thought before answering his questions. Medic's seen them out of uniform of course, but it's always funny seeing them in just a button up and jeans like … mom on the go vibes. Medic leaves his coat behind before making his way to the kitchen with Chef.

The kitchen usually has a couple people loitering around, grabbing their coffee or honestly, waiting around for Chef because they always make extra and these bitches are lazy. But the kitchen has now become A Medic Supremacy Zone and he has first dibs - the benefits of being w/ Chef I guess. The two would work as if the others weren't there, keeping their conversation between each other even if that means Medic tilting his head down while Chef leans in closer to reply. There's a high possibility the other have left them to their own devices, seeing as the couple was ignoring them / knows they won't be getting anything. Breakfast isn't extraordinary but it feels special since they actually get to sit across each other and share the morning today.

It's possible that they'd go out and run some errands today, but it's a cover to window shop and walk around. I'll be honest, they probably haven't had proper dates so it's refreshing. You could ask Chef what they liked the most and they're just like :] Yes.

Other times, they like to curl up and catch up with some reading (well, Medic at least) while Chef rests against him and skim over the words. They're not too invested in what he's reading but likes to have some idea of what he's talking about so they don't ask too many questions. (Very 'these words are big and english/german is not my first language + I can't read as fast as you can so I got lost 7 pages ago). Medic likes to watch Chef garden and tries to help them tend to whatever they're able to grow in the goddamn desert. He overwaters a cactus and looks away if it dies. Chef talks ab how they're growing mint and how it really took off while Medic's standing there like :] Oh, lets make tea with that. Because they're Old People (read: Medic is old)

🕊🐁

ivy - how do you take care of each other when you’re sick?

Chef is easier to take care of when they're sick. They continue working until they're pretty beat but once they feel sick and a break doesn't work, they'll try to finish up what they can before turning in early. They see themselves to bed and inform whoever's near that they won't ne there at dinner and if they really cant figure it out, then come get them - other than that, they're barricading themselves in their room.

When they're sick they're REALLY sick but recovery time is usually a few days (depending on how bad it is). They basically hibernate and don't like being disturbed. They're used to not fending for themselves since they've been on their own for a while but really appreciate all the check ins Medic does w/ them, especially when they're all better.

Medic, being...their Medic, he definitely gives them a check up when they first begin showing symptoms and he can be a stickler when it comes to drinking fluids and eating properly. Chef usually has a finicky stomach as it is so Medic really urges them to drink soups and easy foods like bread and crackers. He checks in on them A LOT, even if that's just peeking in to see if they're asleep or not. He backs off when Chef gives him a cold stare from under the covers and minimizes his intrusions/tries to be more sneaky about it. He has colder hands and they let out a sigh when he puts his hand to their cheek or forehead to check their temperature.

Chef doesn't hesitate to take any medication he has for them, mostly bc they aren't fully coherent but they also don't have energy to care, in fact they have the thought that if he accidentally kills them, maybe respawn will cure them. Unfortunately, Medic debunks this before they can even muster up the energy to ask.

Overall 7.5/10, very good patient. Will refuse to get up and accidently falls asleep in the shower which scares the shit out of him.

Medic on the other hand is very stubborn and doesn't like to stop working unless there's something that physically stops him (ex: vomiting, serious injuries [unlikely bc medigun], etc). If he tricked the Devil, surely the man can beat the common cold or flu! Unfortunately he gets those full body shivers and feels terrible. He can be pretty dramatic when he's sick and everyone's subjected to his bad attitude.

It's Chefs turn to play doctor - they can tell by looks alone that he's under the weather. His face is flushed and he's a bit sloppily put together, which isn't *too uncommon* but his tie isn't tied and his glasses lamely slide down his nose. They tsk a bit while taking his temperature just to keep track of it before ushering him to his room.

He can be dragged to bed if persistent enough. Chef's firm hold on his arm is enough for him to get off his chair and have them tug him along. He doesn't have any room to argue with them as they look up at him, so he relents, stating that a short break would definitely do him good, but he'll be up and at em by tomorrow.

Chef is doting and becomes a bit of a helicopter parent when checking on him. This mostly consists of peeking their head in but not really stepping in the room. Every so often they'll wake him up to drink water and either hand him an ice pack or offer a cold towel and move to dab at his forehead and neck.

Medic hasn't been too keen on having others taking care of him bc that's HIS job, and he often tries to shoo Chef away by saying he's more than alright now. Sometimes he's caught sitting up in bed doing work or taking notes on something bc he's a bit restless when he's sick and stationary for too long.

But he's right. He's very good at taking care of himself - when Chef offers him food he'll force himself to eat some of it and he's drinks plenty of fluids without needing reminders. He kinda bosses Chef around, telling them to grab certain medications from the Medbay. They trust his judgment on his own health and bring him what he asks for but Chef keeps a mental note of what he takes and when. Don't need the doctor accidentally taking too many pills today!

Overall 6.5/10. It's hard to get him into bed and becomes restless fairly easily. He is persistent that he's ok after one day of rest only to be found sneezing himself away in the Medbay.

#tf2 oc #self insert #medic #self ship #tf2 headcanons #my headcanons #my writing #i guess #'have you written enough?' idk you tell me.#s: soul food #if anyone reads even a part of this im sorry #💙 2d's spouse 💙#mars!!!#ahh thank you again.. sorry these are so late ahshhd i get caught up w/ other stuff so this was self care <3 !#im very passionate ab medic YSHDHD like yeah no shit bitch 🦧

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tearofaeons · 5 years

Text

UHH F/O february!!

1-.Reverse Self-Ship: You are your F/O’s F/O!!

I have a hard time picturing any of my faves having me as their f/o because i think most of them aren’t of people to consume media (books, tv shows) in excess. they might look at something and think “oh cool” *never picks it up again*.

BUT!! HYPOTHETICALLY SPEAKING--

Zeтsu... well?? he seems like the type of guy to read a lot of comics and books but never participate in fandoms or tell anyone about it.

One day he heards of a comic series about a character who hunts demons and is searching for their siblings, who are lost somewhere in the deepest parts of Hell, he´s interested, so he buys it, reads it, and immediately gets attached to the protagonist.

He just... relates... you know? Like, both sides, but they never talk about this.

(Kuro = black side. Shiro= white side)

Kuro was in denial for the most part, like

“Why do people like this character” *searches for fanfics*

“Disgusting, badly written. Doesn’t make any sense.” *consumes EVERY story and headcanon post he can find until there´s nothing left*

Kinda just keep going like that until he realized he was too deep in the mud to say he was doing it ironically. Who’s the fool now!? huh!?

I make him feel at ease and, in a weird way, understood, like well, maybe things are going to be okay.

Goes back to the source material, reads it over and over again until he memorizes it, just for fun.

“Why are you angry”

“I read a FICTIONAL THING that made me genuinely happy for no logical reason and I HATE IT”

He doesn’t like feeling vulnerable and really takes pride in being a “mature adult” who has NO ISSUES or PROBLEMS he would like to deal with but doesn’t know how.

So when something external acknowledges these feelings he just... nope. goodbye

Kuro likes to write and create stories, so at some point, already bored with the lack of content, he starts to make his own “headcanon” and theories posts. Arguing with people and having discussions about me, what might be my possible next steps if i want to find my siblings, my plans, things i wouldn´t do. etc.

Later, he creates a RP blog of my character, but then remembers months later that he actually detests interacting with people, so he opts for writing stories, which he adamantly REFUSES call fanfiction.

Kind of took the “job” of debunking theories and popular headcanons, with proof, of course. He likes talking about me and he LOVES being right, it’s a win-win situation !

Writes really long posts about me, explaning my character arc with extreme detail, why did i do a certain thing and not the other. He also talks how did my actions reflect a certain part of my story that are worth exploring. Fancy pictures, dramatic italics, the whole thing, you know?

His posts are always interesting to read, though. He’s a good writer.

One particular day he wasn’t feeling so good, he wrote something that could be called a reader insert (but he definitely doesn’t call it that), where i’m doing the dishes and having an imaginary conversation in my mind with a character who is struggling with the same problems he is, comforting them and stuff.

Made it an habit to write about me comforting this hypothetical person when he’s dealing with difficult emotions. It helps him get back on his feet.

Has one article of clothing that is.. very similar to a jacket i wear in the series.

and a sweater

and some pair of gloves...

He also bought a plushie to have it as a reference whenever he needed to describe me in a story (i have a very complicated outfit in this parallel universe), but stll kept it even after it wasn’t necessary, he occasionally likes to hug and squeeze it, or merely hold it when he’s watching videos or reading something.

“It’s just a toy, it doesn’t have any emotional meaning” he says.

*brushes strand of hair off forehead so i don’t look sad*

*stops to pat my head every now and then*

:( *holds the plushie’s hand* :)

He just really really likes the texture, okay! jeez!!

but no seriously he has a crush on me

Shiro just goes on with the ride and doesn’t think too much about how he feels or why. He just knows he likes me and that’s enough for him.

Collects fanart and enjoys re-reading the source material once in a while.

LITERALLY RECOMMENDS IT AT LEAST ONCE TO EVERYONE HE MEETS.

Somehow never runs out of things to say?? could talk about the series for hours, but he’s not saying things with substance and plot it’s more like a casual conversation.

He just likes talking about it.

Zones out thinking about me doing domestic stuff (sleeping, cooking or--his favorite--playing with a cat), sometimes imagines himself being there. Would rather die than to tell anyone it makes him happy.

Daydreams a lot.

Gets home and is somewhat upset his girlfriend isn’t there!! where are his kisses!! haha jk jk he doesn’t have a crush on a fictional character..

..... unless?

Doesn’t want people to find out about this because people tend to make fun of him or not take him seriously at all, so he covers it up by acting nonchalant.

“Yeah i like them a normal amount”

Is broke so he can’t afford merch, saves up for one lil figure of me and takes care of it as if it were one of his plants.

Has one-sided conversations with the figurine.

*to the figurine* “Hey, did i water my plants today? i can’t remember”

“I wonder how the shell of a lemon tastes like.... I have one in the fridge, should i eat it? for science? yes? no? alright, i’ll do it”

Writes posts about the series/me and shares them, they’re tend to be very nonsensical and funny, or downright cursed.

“Here’s some art i commissioned of Julia wearing a button up shirt with shorts and sandals :)”

His inbox is a mess because of this.

Likes to participate in conversations and add his two cents, but his favorite thing to do is send people (particularly Kuro) dumb questions just for the giggles.

anon: “how would julien react to their s/o having tapeworms? :)”

“I cannot phantom what kind of illness compels you to send me this.”

anon: “would julia read shrek x reader fanfiction?”

“GOD DAMMIT!!! NO!!”

Shiro got lowkey jealous thinking about me reading x reader stuff because it kind of implies me having a crush on someone else, he then had to mentally punch himself when he realized he was getting jealous of shrek.

Has one cactus he loves very much named Julia. It’s a pincushion cactus.

#self insert #aeon speaks #fofebruary #self shipping #that's all i think..#very late but in my defense i wrote this on the correct day i just didn't post it so um akcshuatlly --#sdkjskd i'm joking <':#as long as you're having fun then it's fine baby!! it's still february #OKAY but th ereal reason (that i didn't mention) for kuro to be so hesitant to EVEN get invested in a fictional work #is because he doesn't believe in love #and the main message of my source material is that love IS worth it. like... love is alright #not everyone is out to hurt you #some people DO care #so he's... afraid i guess #he doesn't want to get hurt so he just shoves everyone away #i don't know how to explain it. he wants to be loved and appreciated but has a very negative view of everything regarding relationships #he grew up alone so i don't blame him #meanwhile shiro is too... afraid of being himself or stepping out of ''the line''#the line being what everyone thinks he is vs who he wants to be vs who he is #or something like that....#long post #dang it! just let me hug them >:c #drawings and stuff

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kristmullet · 5 years

Text

My Journey to Delmar

Wow, blog #3! Who knew I had it in me??

My love life(if it could be called that) was never fun and mostly just confusing and messy until I found my husband.

I’d had crushes on boys when I was young but my first “boyfriend”(psh!) was in 8th grade. Back then I had a group of friends that was pretty evenly mixed boys and girls. At that time, we all basically played square dance with each other(it was just a case of switching partners when the last girl was done with whoever she was “dating” at the time. embarrassing, I know). My first actual guy who acknowledged the mutual crush we had on each other and put that boyfriend/girlfriend label on us was a boy named “B” (names changed out of embarrassment). He was sweet, funny, somewhat shy as well, but never seemed embarrassed of me. It was a quick, young thing that ended for reasons I’m not sure(patterns start here). I casually dated/crushed on other “square dance partners” from that friend group with little heartbreak or consequence. It seemed like I always had more feelings for them than they ever had for me(also pattern). I was friends lots of guys as well at school just because they were generally more fun/funny than the girls. My style at that time also started to transition to more of a punk/emo style that made me feel more comfortable and like myself.

Anyway, my next, more serious, “square dance partner” in that friends group started innocently enough, with pretty little thought that this one would actually change my life pretty intensely. This relationship started out pretty chill. Mostly just hanging out, taking walks, sitting together at parties(if they could be called parties). “O” was even my first kiss. Sadly, this was a time I initiated and felt like I was more into him than he was to me. We started hanging out more and more and with my close friends less and less. He started to lightly pressure me and guilt me in little ways that I didn’t even really notice. He would make small comments about things he liked and disliked about me. Sometimes he would contradict himself but I just assumed I misunderstood him the first time. He would even tell me things that I knew instinctively(!) were lies and stories but I just figured I was wrong. Slowly his moods, attitudes, preferences would start going from one extreme to another. His stories got more unbelievable but they also preyed on my want/need to help and take care of others. He had claims of abuse, neglect, being poor, but all of it had a ring of believe-ability to it all. So I always tried to protect and help in whatever way I could, even financially. With his swinging preferences, one day he would love my style, then say I was a “poser.” He wanted me to be a “bad girl”, then wanted me to be more “innocent.” He would love my curves, tell me I was fat, tell me to leave alone, then call me and tell me not to hang up for hours. Make me stay with him while he cried and tell me to go F*** myself basically. I sincerely stopped believing everything that I thought. **Big disclaimer: Ladies, Always trust your instincts. Don’t brush off that nagging voice. If you think someone is lying to you, they probably are. For those of you believers, I fully believe this nagging women’s intuition that people always talk about is the holy spirit trying to guide you. Don’t ignore that gut feeling. It can save you time, money, energy, heart break, and possibly your life. I’m not exaggerating when I say there are times I think this intuition saved my life.**

I second guessed everything. I mean everything. What I thought, wore, said, how I acted, even as little as what I listened to with my music. I would talk to my few remaining friends about him but I shielded him. I made everything sound less bad. I cannot stress to you how much he just straight up made me think I was wrong. Always wrong. I went from having normal female teenage emotions to my feelings predicated on his and his swung so hard that I felt just sad and anxious so much of the time. I didn’t even realize it either. Hindsight has cleared this up so much. So how the hell was I supposed to get away from this? I didn’t! I believe 100% that God used his mood swings to save me. He decided he hated his life in Indiana so much that he ran away to his biological mothers house in Washington. Also around this time he told me that his mother was diagnosed as bipolar and that he thought he was too. This did start to connect the dots for me in some ways but also made me feel like a crap person if I gave up on someone who was mentally ill. He straight out told me that he would never get on medication and never talk to a therapist. He thought it would take out his spirit of who he was(or some ridiculous crap like that). Even with this, I was so controlled that I still stayed with his ass. He would call and message at all hours to talk, to beg for us to be together, to cry, to yell, to vent about how terrible his life was. He even would tell me how he hated me but didn’t want to break up, but wanted to get another girlfriend who was better, hotter, would “take care of his needs”, as a second girlfriend. That broke my heart. Destroyed me. Made me feel like a piece of trash that had to be discarded to the side but was kept around for the scraps.

Finally, one night he flippantly said he wanted to break-up so he could be with this girlfriend(whom he did cheat on me with). I just said OK. I do not think he knew I meant it. He wanted me back almost immediately the next day but I decided I was done. I even eventually had to block him because he was still trying to manipulate me.

After that, I was a bit more hesitant with my heart. I still tried to just have fun with guys(laugh, make jokes, etc), but I second guessed when I thought I maybe had a crush on someone. Even now looking back, I remember boys pretty obviously flirting with with me but I thought they were actually making fun of me. I couldn’t fathom someone genuinely flirting with someone who looked like me, who was as uncool as me. Sad, huh?

The next guy I even attempted anything with was this super friendly guy I had class with. I crushed on him and I figured he didn’t have a crush on me but he was kind enough that he’d go to prom with me if I asked(he was a sophomore, so could not go by himself, so it made sense to me to ask him.). He agreed to go and we went. It was a pretty fun night, lots of dancing but nothing too remarkable. At the end of the night, after having an ok time, I got pretty bummed out when he basically left me at that. Polite after that but pretty much stopped being friends.

After a while, one of my friends invited me to go to a random guy she somewhat knew house to hang(aka she wanted to make out with said dude but didn’t want to go alone). I went, hung(very uncomfortably), and ended up being set up with make-out dudes buddy, “W”. This was another time I was half-sure I was being made fun of or being set up as a total joke. “W” had no balls to even ask me out himself. It was fully ridiculous, BUT, we dated for maybe a month. This was another time where I initiated the first kiss. I basically always felt like a joke with him. Like he was going to throw up when he kissed me. He ended up breaking up with me in front of his bosses house after hanging out the whole evening, just to get back with his ex-girlfriend the next day. Yey for me.

I even met some dumb joker who was a friend of a friend. I think our first interaction was on instant messenger. Two dates, me driving 35 minutes to meet up with him both times. He immediately gets back with his baby mama. I never wanted to admit that one. I will say that these terrible “relationships” all came back to this complete lack of self confidence and respect. I wasn’t worth anything better. Totally thought this.

After I met my husband, I still continued to have these thoughts. Still wondered when the other shoe would drop. When would he drop me and find out it was all a joke or a lie? Even in the past year, I am realizing I still allowed those things put in my brain long ago to still affect my feelings today. I’m still working today to be more clear and accurate in how I feel and how I look at myself. Also, allowing myself to feel happy and good when someone(AKA hubby) wants me to be happy and feel good. Insane but God is still working in my heart and head.

Also, I can’t emphasize how much my husband has done to be steady and strong, caring and loving. I know I’ve never told my husband the extent of what happened in my relationships in the past, so the fact that he has always been such a rock is that much more amazing. Whether or he knows it or not, he saved me. Literally saved me from everything I could have put myself through. I could never repay him. Ever. I’ll love him forever.

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vikaskumarme-blog · 6 years

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Jesus ? Is Jesus God?

Has Jesus Christ ever claimed to be God? See the evidence from the life of Jesus Christ that why believing in Jesus Christ is not superstition.

For us, decisively knowing that ‘what is the existence of God?’, And ‘what kind of person’ it is, it is impossible, unless God himself does not take initiative and does not reveal himself.

To find some clue to the revelation of God, we need to look at the pages of history. It has a clear sign. 2000 years ago, a baby was born in the stables of an unplanned village in Palestine. Today the whole world is celebrating the birth of Jesus Christ, and for the right reason – his life changed the way of history.

How did people see Jesus

We have been told that “Aam Aadmi used to listen to Jesus’ words happily” and “He was teaching them not like Judaism leaders but like an officer.” 1

But, soon it became clear that he was giving very shocking and wondrous statements about himself. He described himself as a great teacher and greater than the Prophet. He said in clear words that he is God. He made his identity the main issue in his education.

From his followers, Jesus asked the most important question, “And what do you say that I am?” Then Simon Peter answered, “You are the Christ, the Son of the living God.” 2 Jesus Christ was not surprised to hear this, Neither did he scold Peter. On the contrary, Jesus appreciated that!

Jesus Christ often addressed God by calling “my father”, and his listeners had complete influence on his words. We have been told, “Because of this, the Jews tried to kill him even more. Because he not only broke the law of Sabbath (day of rest), but by calling God as your Father, he used to make himself like God. ” On one occasion, he said, ” My father and I are one. “At that time the Jews wished to stone him. Jesus Christ asked them, for what good works did they motivate him to stone him? “ They answered, ” We do not stone you for the good work, but because of the blasphemy of God, and because you are a man, makest thyself God. ” 4

Jesus said this about himself

Jesus explicitly claimed the powers that are with God only. When a paralyzed man was descended from the roof, so that he could be healed by Jesus, Jesus said, “Son, you have been forgiven by your sins.” The theologians immediately responded, “This Why is the person doing such things? He is insulting God! Only God, who can forgive sins? “ Then Jesus said to them, ” Which is easy: Tell the person suffering from this paralysis, ‘Your sins are forgiven,’ or ‘Get up and walk’? “ Jesus further said, “But whom you know that I have the power to forgive sins on earth, he said to the paralyzed man,” I tell you, get up, take your cot and move to your house. “ He got up and immediately took a cot and left the front of everyone and went away. All were amazed at it.

Jesus also made such statements: “I came that they might have life and get abundance.” 5 And “I am the light of the world.” 6 And many times he said that whoever believes in him, Jesus Give them eternal life. “And he is not commanded to be punished, but has passed from death to life.” 7 And I give them eternal life. They will never be destroyed. ” 8

In those momentous moments, when Jesus’ life was on the stake, to claim such a claim, the high priest questioned him directly: “Are you the Christ, the Son of the Most Blessed?” “Yes, I am,” Jesus he said. “And you will see the Son of Man sitting at the right hand of the Almighty, and coming with the clouds of heaven.” Then the high priest rent his clothes and said, “Now, what are the reasons for the witnesses to us, Heard. ” 9

Jesus Christ was so deeply related to God that he spoke of a man’s feelings towards him, and his feelings toward God, equally. So, knowing the Lord was to know him. 10 To see the Lord was to see him. 11 To believe in him was to believe in the Lord. 12 To receive it was to receive the Lord. 13It was hating the Lord against hating him. 14 Respecting the Lord was to respect him. 15

Possible explanations

The question is, was he telling the truth?

It may be that Jesus lied, when he said to himself, when he said to himself, God is God Maybe he knew that he was not God, and deliberately betrayed his listeners so that he could give a right to his teaching. Some people think that. But there is a problem in this argument. Those who deny Him to be His creatures believe that Jesus was a great moral teacher. But they fail to understand that both statements are conflicting. How would Jesus Christ be a great moral teacher, if he deliberately used to lie about the most important subject of his teachings – his identity ?“When we look at the claims of Jesus Christ, there are only four possibilities. Either he is a liar, or mentally ill, he is a divine figure, or is true. “

The other possibility is that Jesus Christ was honest, but he was deceiving himself. Nowadays, the person who thinks he is God / God is called by a name – mentally disabled. But when we look at the life of Jesus Christ, we do not get any evidence of abnormalities and imbalances, which is in a mental patient. Rather, we see immense patience, even in times of deep pressure in Jesus.

A third option is that, in the third and fourth centuries, enthusiastic followers of Jesus presented their words of exaggeration, and if Jesus listened to them, they would be surprised. And if he came back, he would immediately reject them. This is not right, because modern archeology affirms that the four life books of Christ were written in the lifetime of those who saw and heard and followed Jesus. The accounts of these Gospel describe the specific facts and attributes that have been confirmed by those who were direct witnesses of Jesus. William F. Albright, who is a world-famous archaeologist with the Johns Hopkins University of America, said, there is no reason to think that any gospel can be found in 70 A.D. (After Christ). Due to being written in the beginning at the beginning of the novel by Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John, its circulation and influence were more.

Jesus Christ was neither false nor mentally handicapped, nor was he built beyond the historical truth. Only one other option could be that Jesus Christ was absolutely true when he said that he is God.

What evidence is there that Jesus Christ is God?

Anyone can do anything, claims. There are many people who claim to be God. I can claim to be God, you can also claim to be God. But if we do this, then we will have to answer to this question, “What solid evidence, or certificate can we bring to prove our claim?” If you ask me to refute my claim You will not even take five minutes in Even in denying your claim, maybe it does not take much time. But when it comes to Jesus Christ of Nazareth, it is not easy to deny their claim. They had a certificate to complete their claim. He said, “… even if [you] believe not me, but do believe the works: that ye may know and understand that the Father is in me and I in him.” 16

Quality of Life of Jesus – His Unique Moral Character

His unique moral character matched his claim. His lifestyle was such that he could challenge his enemies through his questions, “Who among you can convict me?” 17 They found silence (no one could say anything) when they addressed them Who had tried to find fault in his character.

We read that Jesus Christ was seduced by the devil, but we never heard of the confession of sin to him. He never apologized, although he asked his followers to do so.

The feeling of no moral failure in Jesus is surprising, especially when we see that it is the opposite of the experiences that saints and musicians have experienced throughout the ages. As much as men and women go to God, the more they are overwhelmed by their failure/failure, corruption, and shortcomings. Anyone who goes near a shining light, he feels more about the need to clean himself. For ordinary humans, this is true in the ethical area.

It is also worth noting that John, Paul, and Peter, who had been trained to believe in the universality of sin from childhood, all discussed the sin of Jesus Christ “Neither did he sin, nor his There is no word of deceit on your part. ” 18

Pilate, who sentenced the death penalty to Jesus Christ, asked, “What has he committed so?” After hearing the crowd, Pilate concluded, “I am innocent of the blood of this righteous man; You people know. “The crowd continued to demand Jesus crucifixion (to blaspheme God, to claim to be God). The Roman army hero, who handled Jesus on crucifixion, said, “Truly this was God’s Son.” 19

Jesus Christ healed the sick

Jesus constantly demonstrated his power/compassion and compassion. He carried the langers, summoned the dumb and showed the blind, and gave good to many patients. For example, a beggar, who was blind from birth and who knew all, sat outside the temple. After being healed from Jesus Christ, the religious authorities questioned Jesus about the beggar. Then he said, “I know one thing. I was blind, but now I can see! “ He announced. He was surprised that the authorities of these religions did not recognize this health man as God’s son. “From the beginning of the world, it has never been heard that anyone opened the eyes of a blind person,” she said. 20 This proof was clear to him.

Their ability to control nature

Jesus Christ demonstrated a supernatural power over nature. By only words, they calm down the storms of stormy winds and waves in the Sea of Galilee. Those who were riding on the boats wondered about each other and asked, “Who is this, that even the wind and the water obey its commands?” 21 In a marriage, they converted water into wine. They fed the crowd of 5,000 people with five loaves and two fish. He resurrected the only son of a miserable widow from the dead.

Lazarus, Jesus’ friend, was dead and he was in the tomb for four days. Yet Jesus called him, “O Lazarus, come out!” And brought him back from death, and many were witnesses of it. It is the most important thing that their enemies did not deny this miracle, rather, decided to kill them. “If we leave him alone,” he said, “then all will come to believe in him.” 22

Is Jesus God, as he claimed?

The supreme proof of being the God of Jesus Christ is their resurrection (resurrected from the dead) after their death. During his lifetime, five times Jesus clearly predicted that in what specific way he would be killed and confirm that after three days he would leave the dead body and then live again.

Definitely, it was a big test. It was a claim that was easy to prove. Either this would happen, or not. Either it proves the truth of their stated identity, or destroys them. And, what is important for you and me is this – either by the resurrection of Jesus, these things would be confirmed, or this statement would become ridiculous: “I am the way and the truth and the life; No one can come near me by my Father. ” 23 ” I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will not walk in the darkness, but will have the light of life. ” 24 And whoever believes in me, ” I give them eternal life ” 25

So, in his own words, he gave this evidence, “The Son of man will be betrayed into the hands of men, and they will kill him; And he will rise three days after his death. ” 26

Who is Jesus Christ?

If Jesus had been raised from the dead, then whatever he said he gave us, he can fulfill it. It means that he can undoubtedly forgive sins, give us eternal life, and can see our way in this life. He is God, so now we have come to know how God is and we can accept his invitation – to know him personally and his love for us.“It is easy to say. Anyone can claim But when it comes to Jesus Christ of Nazareth … they had complete evidence of supporting their claim. “

On the other hand, if Jesus Christ did not rise from the dead, there is no validity or reality of Christianity. It means all this is false, and Jesus was just a common man who is dead. And those people who were martyred for Christianity, and contemporary missionaries, who lost their message to others in their lives, were delusional fools.

Did Jesus prove that he is God?

Let’s take a look at the evidence of Jesus’ resurrection –

Seeing all the miracles that Jesus performed, it can be said that he could easily save himself from the cross, but he chose not to do so.

Before becoming a prisoner, Jesus said, “No one can take away my life from me; I dedicate myself to it. I have the right to offer my life and to receive it again. ” 27

While making him captive, Jesus’ friend Peter tried to save them. But Jesus said to Peter, “Put your sword in its sheath … Do you not know that I can beg my father, and he will present me more than twelve lamps of angels right now?” 28 Heaven and Earth In both, they had such kind of power. Jesus Christ willingly accepted his death.

Crucifixion and thickening of Jesus

Jesus was killed in front of the crowd by crucifying him. This was a common practice for the Roman government, coming from many centuries, torturing and giving death. Jesus said that it was to pay our sins. The charge against Jesus was blasphemy (to claim to be God).

Jesus was killed with a thick rope made of many ropes, in which fragmented pieces of metal and bone were embedded. To blow them, the crown made of long thorns was placed on their heads. They forced Jesus Christ to go out of Jerusalem, walking on the mountain of execution, where he was hanged on a wooden cross, and his feet and hands were knocked down on the cross with nails. Till he died, hanging on that cross. To find out whether he was dead or not, his back was pierced.

The body of Jesus was crucified and wrapped in a sheet with scent. Their bodies were placed in a tomb, which was dug in the rock, and then a large stone was rolled over the entrance to the tomb, so that the door was safe.

Everyone knew that Jesus had said that he would rise from the dead body three days later. Therefore, trained Roman soldiers were deployed on their tomb. They put an official Roman stamp outside the tomb so that it could be declared that it is a government property.

Three days later, that grave was empty

Despite all this, three days later, the stone which was sealing the tomb was found on a slope a few miles away from the grave. Jesus’ body was not there. There was only a sheet lying in the grave, without a dead body.

It is necessary to note that both the critics and followers of Jesus believe that the grave was empty and their body was missing.

Initially this explanation was being circulated that his disciples had stolen his body when the guards were asleep. But this sounds untrue, because such training of trained soldiers of the Roman army was not less than the crime of the death penalty during sleep.

Apart from this, every disciple (lonely and in various geographical locations) was tortured and martyred, for the claim that Jesus was alive and had been raised from the dead. But they do not reverse their claims. Any person is prepared to die for the truth that he believes to be true, even if he is a liar. But, he does not want to die for that which he knows is a lie. If there is a time when a person speaks the truth, then it happens at the close of his death. Every disciples continued to preach the resurrection of Jesus till the end.

Maybe the authorities have removed Jesus’ body from there? But this is also a weak possibility. They crucified Jesus, so that they could stop people from believing in them. If they had a body of Jesus (body), they would have parade it in the city of Jerusalem. In one instant, they successfully managed to suppress Christianity. That they did not do this, it gives great testimony that they did not have the dead body of Jesus.

One second opinion is that women (who first saw the empty grave of Jesus) get overwhelmed by the anxiety and misery, have forgotten their way in the morning blurry and went to the wrong grave. In his pain, he imagined that Jesus had been resurrected, because the tomb was empty. But there is also doubt in this matter, because if the women went to the grave, why did the high priests and other enemies of religion not show the body of Jesus on the right grave?

Another possibility, according to some people, is “the theory of unconsciousness”. According to this principle, Jesus did not really die. He was considered to be dead, and in reality he had become unconscious due to fatigue, pain, and lack of blood, and due to his coolness in the grave, consciousness returned to him. (According to this, you have to ignore the fact that his side was pierced, so that it can be proved that he was dead.)“Anyone is prepared to die for the truth that he believes to be true, even if it is actually a lie. But, he does not want to die for that which he knows is a lie. “

But, let us assume for a moment that Jesus was buried alive and he was unconscious. So it is possible to believe that for three days he would have lived in a moist grave, without food or water, or any kind of care? Did they have so much strength that they pulled themselves out of grave clothes, take away heavy stones from the grave’s face, conquered the Roman guards, and walked on feet to miles, who were pierced by nails? this does not make sense.

Even so, only the empty grave did not give the followers the belief that Jesus was really God.

Not only empty tomb

Only the empty grave did not give them the belief that Jesus really lived from the dead, he was alive, and he was God. All these things also convinced them – Jesus appeared many times, as a person of living flesh flesh, and he ate with them, talked to them – they spoke with different places, different times, different people . Luke, one of the authors of the Gospel, said about Jesus, “He revealed himself to them with many concrete proofs that he is alive. He continued to appear for 40 days and told them about God’s kingdom. ” 29

Is Jesus Christ the God

The four writers of the Gospel tell that after comprehending Jesus, he physically appeared to them. Once he appeared to the disciples, Thomas (a disciple) was not there. Thomas did not believe when Thomas was told by other disciples about him. He said straightforwardly, “I will not believe unless I see the nails of his hands in his hands and do not put my fingers in the nails of the nails, and do not put my hand in his side.”

A week later Jesus appeared to them again. At that time Thomas was with them too. Jesus said to Thomas, “Put your finger and look at my hands, and bring my hand into my side. Stop believing and believing. “Thomas answered,” My Lord, my God! “

Jesus said to him, “Because you have seen me and have believed in me. Blessed are those who did not believe. ” 30

What do you offer to Jesus

Christ gives purpose and direction to life. “I am the light of the world,” he says. “Whoever follows me will not walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.” 31

Many people in general are in the dark about the purpose of life, and especially about their own lives. It feels like they are looking for a light-burning switch in their life. Whoever is in the dark, or in an unfamiliar room, is very popular about the feeling of insecurity. But, when the light burns, there is a sense of security. It feels just when we walk in darkness, in the light of Jesus Christ.

The late analyst psychologist, Carl Gustav Jung, said, “The most critical problem of our times is emptiness. We think that our experience, our knowledge, relationships, money, success, success, fame, will give us the happiness we find. But always remains an emptiness. They are not completely satisfied at all. We have been created for God, and we will receive fulfillment only in them. “

Jesus said, “I am the bread of life: he who comes to me will never be hungry, and he who believes in me will never be thirsty.” 32

You can establish a closer relationship with Jesus at this time. You can know God individually in this life on earth, and after death, in eternity. Here is the promise of God, which he has done to us: “For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, so that none of her faith, destroy it, but have eternal life.” 33

Jesus took our sins, on the cross, over us. He accepted the penalty for our sins so that our sin could not become a wall between them and us. Because they paid our sins full, they give us complete pardon and a relationship with us.

Here’s how you can start this relationship.

Jesus said, “Behold, I stand at the door of your heart; If someone will hear my voice and open the door, then I will enter his house … ” 34

You can invite Jesus Christ right now in your life. Not your words, only your reaction to it, is main. Knowing what he has done for you, and what he is doing, you can say something like this, “Jesus, I believe in you. Your density to die on the cross for my sins I want you to forgive me and come to my life right now. I want to know you and want to follow you. Thank you for coming to my life, and to build a relationship with me from this time. “

If you have invited Jesus to come to your life,

For us, decisively knowing that ‘what is the existence of God?’, And ‘what kind of person’ it is, it is impossible, unless God himself does not take initiative and does not reveal himself.

How did people see Jesus

We have been told that “Aam Aadmi used to listen to Jesus’ words happily” and “He was teaching them not like Judaism leaders but like an officer.” 1

But, soon it became clear that he was giving very shocking and wondrous statements about himself. He described himself as a great teacher and a greater than the Prophet. He said in clear words that he is God. He made his identity the main issue in his education.

Jesus said this about himself

In those momentous moments, when Jesus’ life was on the stake, to claim such a claim, the high priest questioned him directly: “Are you the Christ, the Son of the Most Blessed?” “Yes, I am,” Jesus he said. “And you will see the Son of Man sitting at the right hand of the Almighty, and coming with the clouds of heaven.” Then the high priest rent his clothes and said, “Now , what are the reasons for the witnesses to us, Heard. ” 9

Possible explanations

The question is, was he telling the truth?

The other possibility is that Jesus Christ was honest, but he was deceiving himself. Nowadays, the person who thinks he is God / God, is called by a name – mentally disabled. But when we look at the life of Jesus Christ, we do not get any evidence of abnormalities and imbalances, which is in a mental patient. Rather, we see immense patience, even in times of deep pressure in Jesus.

A third option is that, in the third and fourth centuries, enthusiastic followers of Jesus presented their words of exaggeration, and if Jesus listened to them, they would be surprised. And if he came back, he would immediately reject them. This is not right, because modern archeology affirms that the four life books of Christ were written in the lifetime of those who saw and heard and followed Jesus. The accounts of these Gospel describe the specific facts and attributes that have been confirmed by those who were direct witnesses of Jesus. William F. Albright, who is a world-famous archaeologist with Johns Hopkins University of America, said, there is no reason to think that any gospel can be found in 70 A.D. (After Christ). Due to being written in the beginning at the beginning of the novel by Matthew, Mark, Luke and John, its circulation and influence were more.

What evidence is there that Jesus Christ is God?

Quality of Life of Jesus – His Unique Moral Character

His unique moral character matched his claim. His life style was such that he could challenge his enemies through his questions, “Who among youcan convict me?” 17 They found silence (no one could say anything), when they addressed them Who had tried to find fault in his character.

We read that Jesus Christ was seduced by the devil, but we never heard of the confession of sin to him. He never apologized, although he asked his followers to do so.

The feeling of no moral failure in Jesus is surprising, especially when we see that it is the opposite of the experiences that saints and mysticians have experienced throughout the ages. As much as men and women go to God, the more they are overwhelmed by their failure / failure, corruption and shortcomings. Anyone who goes near a shining light, he feels more about the need to clean himself. For ordinary humans, this is true in the ethical area.

Jesus Christ healed the sick

Jesus constantly demonstrated his power / compassion and compassion. He carried the langers, summoned the dumb and showed the blind, and gave good to many patients. For example, a beggar, who was blind from birth and who knew all, sat outside the temple. After being healed from Jesus Christ, the religious authorities questioned Jesus about the beggar. Then he said, “I know one thing. I was blind, but now I can see! “ He announced. He was surprised that the authorities of these religions did not recognize this healthman as God’s son . “From the beginning of the world, it has never been heard that anyone opened the eyes of a blind person,” she said. 20 This proof was clear for him.

Their ability to control nature

Jesus Christ demonstrated a supernatural power over nature. By only words, they calm down the storms of stormy winds and waves in the Sea of Galilee. Those who were riding on the boats wondered about each other and asked, “Who is this, that even the wind and the water obey its commands?” 21 In a marriage they converted water into wine. They fed the crowd of 5,000 people with five loaves and two fish. He resurrected the only son of a miserable widow from the dead.

Is Jesus God, as he claimed?

Definitely it was a big test. It was a claim that was easy to prove. Either this would happen, or not. Either it proves the truth of their stated identity, or destroys them. And, what is important for you and me is this – either by the resurrection of Jesus, these things would be confirmed, or this statement would become ridiculous: “I am the way and the truth and the life; No one can come near me by my Father. ” 23 ” I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will not walk in the darkness, but will have the light of life. ” 24 And whoever believes in me, ” I give them eternal life ” 25

So, in his own words, he gave this evidence, “The Son of man will be betrayed into the hands of men, and they will kill him; And he will rise three days after his death. ” 26

Who is Jesus Christ?

Did Jesus prove that he is God?

Let’s take a look at the evidence of Jesus’ resurrection –

Seeing all the miracles that Jesus performed, it can be said that he could easily save himself from the cross, but he chose not to do so.

Before becoming a prisoner, Jesus said, “No one can take away my life from me; I dedicate myself to it. I have the right to offer my life and to receive it again. ” 27

Crucifixion and thickening of Jesus

Three days later, that grave was empty

It is necessary to note that both the critics and followers of Jesus believe that the grave was empty and their body was missing.

Even so, only the empty grave did not give the followers the belief that Jesus was really God.

Not only empty tomb

Is Jesus Christ the God

Jesus said to him, “Because you have seen me and have believed in me. Blessed are those who did not believe. ” 30

What do you offer to Jesus

Christ gives purpose and direction to life. “I am the light of the world,” he says. “Whoever follows me will not walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.” 31

Jesus said, “I am the bread of life: he who comes to me will never be hungry, and he who believes in me will never be thirsty.” 32

Here’s how you can start this relationship.

Jesus said, “Behold, I stand at the door of your heart; If someone will hear my voice and open the door, then I will enter his house … ” 34

If you have invited Jesus to come to your life,

11 notes · View notes

lavender-buck · 7 years

Note

Hello, Laurence! I am writing a novel and I need your help. I am writing a character with autism, and I most definitely want to portray him as accurately as possible, seeing that I don't have it myself. The story is told through his best friend, Zyah, and I was wondering how to portray his autism through his friends without butchering it. You do not have to answer this question if you don't want to, but it would certainly be helpful so I can his autism as accurately and real as possible!

Hello Anon! I can’t answer very well in just one ask, but I can vaguely give some tips on stuff some people tend to slip up on/not think of! I really don’t mind this so don’t worry, I’m happy to educate people! If you would like something more in-depth or accurate to what you’d like to know, feel totally free to come off anon asks and message me, or you can send more asks like this. It’s up to you. c:

Don’t try too hard to shove it in there. To be honest, a lot of people just think I’m a little bit weird if they don’t know, all they see is a guy who gets a bit excited sometimes and is a picky eater and other very small details like that. Unless your character is severely autistic, remember that he’s still just like any other person too.

On the other hand, I still stim in public and touch things a lot if I think they’d feel good, so there’s no shame in him showing it either. It depends. I also sometimes get overly excited in public and my mother says I raise my voice or talk very fast, and once I calm down and look back on it I notice it too. Excitement and stimming are hard to stop even in public! So are negative sensory experiences, but I’ll get to that.

Stimming can be anything really, but we do it a lot and it’s most commonly flapping our hands (”Happy flaps”), making small noises (Clicking, tapping, rubbing clothing fabric together), touching or adjusting our clothing, touching something we like (A keychain, shirt, rock, etc), rocking on our feet, bouncing, swaying… You can be creative! I wave/shake/jiggle my hands in front of myself and my mom calls them “Jazz hands”, and I sometimes do them with a fist instead. A little bit off track but my mom finds it really funny and laughs and waves her hands too because she knows it means I’m happy about something. Even if he won’t do it in public, most of us will do it with our friends and around others we feel safe with.

Bad sensory can be anything too, so be creative. Though it’s most commonly food, clothing, lights, sounds, or showers. Some of us may not like a certain fabric or shirt cut. Some of us may HATE crunchy foods. Some people hate certain noises. When faced directly with the bad feeling, as a child I would literally find something sharp like a pen and stab myself with it or rip my flesh out in chunks just to focus on any other feeling. I got angry and screamed and cried. Some of us gag, some of us get violent, some of us just cry in a ball… I’d rather have my finger chopped off than eat a hamburger, to be honest. I won’t go into detail but I hate the texture and flavor and it makes me sick for DAYS just thinking about it. Sick as in like… HURK– BLEEEEGGHHH. Now’a’days I can hold it together kinda but if I wear a fucking sock I’m gonna bawl my eyes out and find something to destroy as violently as possible even if it’s just an empty cereal box. That shit does NOT feel okay. Your main character may have to help his friend with this a lot, so be prepared to think of what calms your autistic character down. Pressure stimming (Hugs or heavy blankets), soft talking, etc?

Onto a lighter note! Let’s talk about special interests and obsessions. An autistic person can have more than one, contrary to popular belief. Usually though they’ll have one BIG one, a favorite thing, and one or two other smaller things. For me, my big thing is Armin and my smaller things are taking care of animals (I particularly love fishkeeping and dogs though) and cooking. They can also change! When I was a child, my special interest was Pokemon! I would memorize all the names and numbers and Pokedex entries in English AND Japanese and look up every bit of information possible and buy ANYTHING Pokemon I saw regardless of WHAT it was and I would never shut up about it and I’d talk about it until my mouth got dry and my spit foamy. Special interests can be ANYTHING. I know of a boy who’s interest was trains. I know another who’s into dinosaurs. I recently talked to one guy who was into Lush products. Literally. ANYTHING. A person, an animal, a hobby, an item, a machine… Anything can be a special interest. What are your character’s special interest(s)? How do they react when they see it or talk about it?

How about childishness? This can be controversial. Some autistic people are mentally younger than their physical age, while others aren’t affected. It depends on severity of the disability, and what symptoms they have. For example, I have an adopted cousin in his mid-20′s but he’ll always be an 8 year old boy mentally. Meanwhile there are people like me. Some people even temporarily regress in age. Autistic people being cutesy-wootsy babies is a very harmful and popular stereotype, though it’s true for some. Just not NEARLY as many of us as you may think. I myself have a LOT of childish habits, to be honest. I can ignore it and fess up but I feel like most of us do temporarily or partially regress at least SOMETIMES. This does not discredit us from being functioning human beings though, and it does not make us actual children if we aren’t literal kids. I can like my stuffies and blanket and being babytalked and still get my taxes done, and so can other autistic people. Is your character mature? Are they mentally stuck at one age? Do they act small and young and vulnerable when they’re upset or after calming down from excitement? Do they secretly or even openly carry stuffed animals around, watch kid’s shows, etc? Does this affect them in any way?

F O O D. Most of us will practically jump off a bridge for food, or at least certain ones. Maybe it’s the texture, or flavor, or smell, or the fact that they stim with their mouth, but food is a Godsend. I like to feel things with my mouth but I know better than to do that because of germs or choking hazards. So when I eat, I LOVE EATING!!!!!!!!!!!!! CRUNCHY FOODS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ALSO GRAINY FOODS!!! We will eat anything we like, it seems. Sand is one of my favorite things in the world, and as a kid I used to go to the beach hungry on purpose so I could eat as much sand as possible. To this day I still drool thinking about the texture, it’s so GOOD in your mouth. It is not pretty, no, but it is funny in a gross way and I joke about it a LOT. I had to be curbed off literally eating sand and rocks, and now I cope by putting way too many bread crumbs on my mac ‘n’ cheese (My mom says my personal mac ‘n’ cheese bake is like eating on the beach on a windy day, haha!) or eating grits, or crunching hard candies into that texture. I also now have to portion my food very carefully and with rules because I would over-eat SOOOOO badly. A ton of us over-eat because we love eating SO much. What foods does your character like? Do they eat non-food items, or want to? Is this an endearing trait of theirs, or a weakness/gross one? Do they find it funny, or is it embarrassing? Does it make them chubby?

Last but not least, read through the first thing I said again. People tend to try too hard when writing autistic characters, which only pushes them to seem like the fake stereotype. Write a person, not an illness - We’re just people with interesting quirks and like I said most people don’t even KNOW I’m autistic, they just think I’m a tiny bit eccentric. There are definitely challenges or noticeable things when you have an autistic friend or loved one, but all in all we’re just people.

Good luck, and feel free to message me or something if you need more or I didn’t answer how you needed.

#autism stuff #Anonymous #ask

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boofrp · 8 years

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1 (more coming) I'm a little confused about your situation. I understand that you don't feel comfortable disclosing all the details with people online, although I'm having a hard time wrapping my head around the fact that you're asking for donations. I realize mental health plays a big part in the reason why you're unwilling to get a job, but... If I were in your shoes, and I was stuck in a toxic environment, I would be doing whatever I could to ensure I was out of that situation.

[CONTINUED] Sure, offering resources for small fees can be helpful, but there are people out there giving them away for free - so how far can that really get you? Eventually, you’re either going to have to put yourself in an uncomfortable situation and do what’s best for you, so you can escape the toxicity, or you’re going to be stuck there forever. Personally, I think it’s time to grow up and realize you’re not going to make a living off of selling resources. I just think it’s very unfair to those of us who are working for our own money, and I believe you’re completely capable of going out and seeking employment. Yes, you have issues - but so does everyone else. There are people who are way worse off than you are, I’m sure. I’m not trying to be rude, but I’ll admit I’m a tad bit suspicious. A piece of me believes you’re just trying to get whatever you can out of the community, as if they owe you something. You’ve been known to lie before, therefore I just can’t trust your story and accusations. Sorry.

i actually wrote a long ass reply to this but because my computer crashed right before i was about to post it, i lost everything and need to start again lmao. ANYWAY. i never once thought that in a community that is branded to be a “safe haven” and an “escape from life” that i would be thrown some bullshit like this at my feet, making me feel anything but safe or comfortable. honestly there are few messages i have received during my time on this account that made my stomach drop to my feet. this includes messages coming straight out and telling me to kill myself - that i can handle.

but something like this, honestly made my stomach drop and i hope you’re happy because when i first read this last night i began gagging/feel nauseous and then had a full blown anxiety attack and breakdown. now i’ve had some sleep and i’m not reacting as badly as i did at first to this message but i’m still shaking and feeling incredibly sick because: fuck you. now i really hate explaining myself and trying to “prove” myself to people that really do not deserve the time of day from me, but i guess i should have expected this because there are some really fucking toxic people in this community. lets get to the fun part, my actual replies to the points made in these horrible messages !!

POINT A: “if i were in your shoes i would be doing anything to get out of your ~toxic~ situation” --- first of all, be fucking thankful you are not in my situation because it SUCKS. it really sucks and experiencing this level of pain on a daily basis whilst trying to remain positive is really fucking hard. and guess what? YOU’RE NOT IN MY SITUATION. therefore you have no right to sit back and play commentator on everything i have said and done. let’s get that straight. now i have fucking tried to get out of here. let me make you a nice fucking list because you probably won’t settle until you have all the information from me.

>>> i have applied for ten jobs in the space of two days, all of which i was qualified for or they offered training for if i wasn’t. all of the answers were the same: we have filled the spot or you’re not what we’re looking for. and i have to admit my resume is pretty fucking lit because of all the things i achieved before my mental health destroyed my life. >>> i have babysat for a woman who years ago traumatized the FUCK out of me one day and i don’t want to go into specifics but it was really hard to put aside the fact that she made me run home in tears to my mum when i was 12 for a stupid reason. >>> i have considered asking my sister if i could move in with her. get this, any other time i wouldn’t even think of it because: a) she lives in a small three bedroom house - by small i mean really fucking small. b) she has a 3 year old daughter and a 1 year old daughter as well as herself and her boyfriend so you can imagine how much space they have already taken up. OH and she’s having another baby so they would be struggling to even fine space for them. c) i know that if i live with her i will only be able to have a suitcase of my possessions and would have to sleep on the floor, yet i still consider it and am close to asking. d) i have practically lived with her for a month and had a complete breakdown at the end because i was treated like a babysitting machine instead of a human and being an introvert, when spending so much time with people i need time for myself to regenerate but because the house was so small and the children wouldn’t leave me alone - i broke down. >>> i have done things to get $5 that i do not want to talk about because i know that if i even told my family i would immediately be disowned and i am not proud at all about what i’ve done to EAT FOOD. JUST LIKE EVERYONE ELSE. >>> and lastly, i’m asking complete strangers for money - something that i have struggled with all my life is asking people for money, even asking my mother for $5 for school when i was younger invoked anxiety. but here i am.

POINT B: “sure you can offer resources for money but how far is that going to get you? people already make them for free” --- do you REALLY think i came into this thinking that selling resources was going to pay my rent? do you REALLY think i’m dumb enough to believe that i could actually live out on my own with just commissions from people online in exchange for pixels that will be meaningless in a few years? HOW DUMB DO YOU THINK I AM? you know what, $5 every now and again isn’t going to pay for my funeral insurance or my wedding in a few years, but $5 NOW is going to buy me a pretty decent fucking meal for once, it’s going to buy me a part of a ticket out of this small town. in the long run, $5 a week is going to add up and its going to HELP. also, there must be a reason more people are taking commissions each day - because there are actually people in this world who are fucking KIND and i like to believe in those people. paying commissions isn’t even buying my resources to me, because i know these people can get it anytime they want for free. no, it’s like a pat on the back or like paying someone a tip. IT’S JUST BEING FUCKING THANKFUL. if i had money i would be tipping my friends all the time. but i don’t.

POINT C: “it’s unfair for those of us who are working for our money” --- i’m,,, sorry. IS MY MENTAL ILLNESS A FUCKING INCONVENIENCE TO YOU? DID MY MENTAL ILLNESS DESTROY HALF OF Y O U R LIFE, MAKING IT ALMOST IMPOSSIBLE TO EVEN FUNCTION PROPERLY IN THE WORLD? DID MY MENTAL ILLNESS DESTROY Y O U R RELATIONSHIPS WITH YOUR OWN FUCKING FAMILY? DID MY MENTAL ILLNESS DESTROY Y O U R FRIENDSHIPS? DID MY MENTAL ILLNESS TURN Y O U R CHILDHOOD AND ADOLESCENTS INTO APPOINTMENTS WITH A PSYCHOLOGIST, ANTIDEPRESSANTS AND FINDING WAYS TO MAKE YOUR SCHOOL LIFE MORE COMFORTABLE SINCE YOU WERE LITERALLY TWO STEPS AWAY FROM KILLING YOURSELF IN THE MIDDLE OF CLASS? DID MY MENTAL ILLNESS MAKE Y O U WANT TO KILL YOURSELF MORE TIMES YOU CAN COUNT ON ONE HAND? DID MY MENTAL ILLNESS MAKE Y O U ATTEMPT SUICIDE TWICE BEFORE YOU WERE EVEN SIXTEEN? DID MY MENTAL ILLNESS EFFECT Y O U IN YOUR WORKPLACE TO THE POINT WHERE YOU WERE CLOSE TO GRABBING THE NEAREST PLASTIC BAG AT YOUR REGISTER AND PULLING IT OVER YOUR HEAD AND SUFFOCATING YOURSELF? DID MY MENTAL ILLNESS MAKE Y O U BULIMIC AND ANOREXIC? DID MY MENTAL ILLNESS MAKE IT HARD FOR Y O U TO LOOK AT YOURSELF IN THE MIRROR WITHOUT WANTING TO FUCKING DIE? DID MY MENTAL ILLNESS DESTROY Y O U R BODY IMAGE? FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU.

POINT D: “you’re capable for going out and looking for employment” --- please refer to my next answer to another anon who is a fucking dick too.

POINT E: “you’re just trying to get shit out of the community cause you think it owes you something” --- again... FUCK YOU. what the fuck have i done to make you believe i’m that shitty of a person? and if i was trying to scam this community out of money or whatever the fuck you think i’m doing, IT MUST HAVE BEEN THREE FUCKING YEARS IN THE MAKING, BEFORE I EVEN KNEW I COULD MAKE A FEW CENTS USING ADF.LY LINKS. i have lied about things in the past, but things that i a) owned up to and b) were NEVER about my mental health or my living situation. i’mm fucking SURE that if you go through my blog you will find me talking about how fucked i am in life. this isn’t some story that i shit out yesterday for money, for fucks sake. if it seems like i suddenly have all these problems - i’m fucking great at pretending i don’t want to be alive and that i hate myself.

POINT F: “i’m not trying to be rude” --- YES YOU FUCKING ARE. IF YOU WERE NOT TRYING TO BE RUDE YOU WOULDN’T HAVE BEEN SELF AWARE OF IT AND PUT YOURSELF ON ANONYMOUS, FOR FUCKS SAKE. IF YOU KNEW THAT THIS WASN’T RUDE, YOU WOULD HAVE COME OFF OFF OF ANONYMOUS, FOR FUCKS SAKE. but of course this isn’t fucking rude it’s just picking away at my life and trying to make it sound like i’m a fucking asshole because i am literally suffering in my own home :~)

you know what? there is no way i can possibly come to a nice conclusion about this message in a sentence or to. so here is all i’m going to say: a) i’M NOT COMING TO YOUR DOORSTEP AND ASKING YOU SPECIFICALLY TO HAND ME OVER $2 SO I CAN BUY DRUGS OR WHATEVER THE FCUCK YOU’RE THINKING and b) YOU DON’T EVEN FUCKING DESERVE AN EXPLANATION FROM ME BECAUSE YOU ARE A FUCKING ASSHOLE. i don’t know what the fuck you want from me. my family is in $7k debt from my mum’s boyfriend’s mum’s funeral a month ago. do you want the fucking death certificate? do you want to see the flowers we got from her funeral insurance? DO YOU WANT A WHOLE FUCKING LIVESTREAM OF HER DEAD BODY BEING LOWERED INTO THE FUCKING GROUND? OH FUCKING HELL, DO YOU WANT TEXTS THAT GO BACK YEARS BETWEEN ME AND MY CLOSEST FRIENDS AND FAMILY OF ME CONSTANTLY TELLING THEM I WISH I WAS FUCKING DEAD? DO YOU WANT ME TO RECORD WHAT I EAT IN A WEEK? DO YOU WANT ME TO RECORD MY MOTHER TELLING ME I’M BEING FAT AND TO STOP EATING? DO YOU WANT ME TO HANG MYSELF IN PUBLIC JUST SO YOU CAN FUCKING SEE HOW SERIOUS THIS IT? i don’t know what the fuck you want from me and what your great plan was when sending these messages, but i hope you’re fucking happy.

#a #if u wanna see me go off then (:#also general trigger warning like if you're sensitive then ?#Anonymous

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