#have a nice death muriel

[claudefluent]

The Death Inc. crew in my style.

[scarceghost]

HaND office personnel Halloween costumes!

yeah oof this is like a day late because I’m a slow worker but uhhh yeah.. happy late Halloween :,)

Death and Quinn first!!! They have matching costumes! Death is Jack Skellington and Quinn is the pumpkin king.

Second is Joe and Jerry!!!! Joe is in one of those silly inflatable dinosaur costumes and Jerry is a bedsheet ghost with a twist.

Third is Patrick and Harriet!!!! Patrick is Rose Quartz with glitter (he’s slaying btw) and Harriet is Jason Vorhees.

Fourth (and alone) is Orville!!! He’s a demon because I didn’t realize he was a cauldron when I was first playing the game. (Graphics aren’t as good on switch)

Fifth are my favorite costumes, Muriel and Claude!!!! Muriel is in a performative (I know it says preformance I'm just stupid) metamorphosis inspired costume! (Gregor samsa), and Claude is a headless horseman.

And finally we have Jocelyn and O’sha!!!!! Jocelyn is a spooky witch (with a bit of green hehe), and O’sha is a (very drunk) vampire. (Man what a bad HR manager…).

Jacob, Mark and Burt aren’t on here because they don’t appear in the office. (And I don’t think Jacob actually celebrates Halloween, at least not after that prank death pulled lol).

[erigold13261]

Hello hello I'm in your asks once again lol-

Anyway I'm just curious on how you think Alyona (if she was alive of course) would initially react if she found out that Tatiana had kids of her own (aka Titanium, Sonya, and Rosie) and maybe other members of Tatiana's family finding out about the 3 daughters that are very important to Vinyl City via Titanium ruling in place of Tatiana once she retires, Sonya being the drummer version of Kul Fyra of her own band, and Rosie being the #1 Artist aka the Beloved Idol of Vinyl City.

Of course Matevy (I may have spelled his name wrong-) would not be allowed to be anywhere near the daughters, especially Rosie since she's the youngest and the most impressionable due to her innocent nature. If he even attempts (which I doubt he would) to go near Rosie then everyone would know and Titanium would have to restrain Sonya and her bandmates along with Rosie's boyfriend Azul (who can get pretty dangerous since he is a dragon hybrid-) from jumping Matevy while she has her security escort him out. Poor Rosie would be very confused though-

Also maybe Alyona also meets Olive and they chat and all that, and Olive would be pleased that her and Tatiana's daughters are getting along well with their grandmother. Rosie would always be happy to see her grandma when she comes to visit :3

(meant to answer this earlier woops)

Oh Alyona would be absolutely ecstatic to be a grandmother! Also, if Alyona stayed alive, Matvey have never laid a hand on Tatiana. He definitely would not have been a good father still, but he would not have been physically abusive at least. I would still see Tatiana keeping him away from her kids and family though.

But back to Alyona. She would absolutely be super happy to have grandkids and would spoil them so much! She'd even spoil Olive when her and Tatiana started dating. Maybe she might have been able to change Matvey's mind about some things, but I doubt that.

If your Tatiana is a transwoman like mine is, then Matvey would probably say things behind Alyona's back to Tatiana about having her stop pretending to be a girl since Olive would need a strong man/husband. If your Tatiana is a cis woman though, Matvey would make some lesbiphobic comments about a family not having a father is the worst thing that can happen to kids.

So yeah, no matter what, keep Matvey away from the grandkids. It's not like he would want to be near them anyway. He wouldn't say shit if Alyona was around so at least if the grandkids wanted to meet him for some reason then Alyona would stay by his side the entire time.

Alyona would be very proud of Rosie, Titanium, and Sonya. She probably wouldn't be able to provide them with much in terms of gifts, but you better believe she takes up the stereotype that grandmas never let family go hungry! She'd make all kinds of delicious foods and treats for the kids when she comes to visit of if they visit her! Maybe even making them some clothes or teaching them to control any possible fire powers.

Speaking of powers. I personally have it so the time powers only show up in biologically male individuals, but if one of the 3 daughters have time powers like Tatiana then I can see that being a very rare instance of the time powers going to a girl. This alone would probably make Matvey reconsider some of his world views as he would want to teach his grandkids how to properly manipulate time.

So if Alyona is alive and well, there is a possibility that Matvey actually becomes a better person. Or at the very least a decent/okay person. Still definitely not great, but LEAGUES better than the OG timeline where Alyona has died. I still wouldn't trust him alone with the grandkids as he can still be a huge misogynistic asshole who does not like kids, but at least he isn't beating (or trying to beat) the shit out of children anymore.

But yea! Alyona would be a very positive light in Tatiana's life and with her family!

[santacoppelia]

Putting the Meta in "Metatron"

(couldn't resist the pun, sorry)

Ok, this has been tickling my brain for a while. I've been thinking about how The Metatron designed his role and discourse specifically to manipulate Aziraphale into the end result we saw in the last minutes of S2. I become obsessed with it because… well, I'm a bit obsessive, but also because there were many really smart writing decisions that I loved (even when I despise The Metatron exactly for the same reasons. Hate the character, love the writer). If you haven't watched Good Omens Season 2, this is the moment to stop reading. Come back later!

We already know that in Book Omens, the role of Gabriel in the ending was occupied by The Metatron. Of course, the series introduced us to Gabriel and we won a lot by that, but I feel that the origins of The Metatron should be considered for any of this. He is not a "sweet old man": he was the one in charge of seeing over the operation of Armageddon; not just a stickler of rules, but the main promoter for it.

However, when he appears in the series finale, we first are primed to almost pass him by. He is in the line for buying coffee, using clothes that are:

obviously not tailored (almost ill fitted)

in dark tones

looking worn and wrinkled

This seems so important to me! All the angels we have seen are so proud of their aspect, wear clear (white or off white) clothes, pressed, impeccable (even Muriel), even when they visit the Earth (which we have already seen on S1 with all the visits to the bookshop). The Metatron chose a worn, comfortable attire, instead. This is a humanized look, something that fools all the angels but which would warm up someone very specific, can you guess?

After making quite a complicated coffee order (with sort of an affable and nervous energy), he makes a question that Crowley had already primed for us when asking Nina about the name of the coffee: having a "predictable" alternative and an unpredictable one.

This creates an interesting parallel with the next scene: Michael is discussing the possibility of erasing Aziraphale from The Book of Life (a punishment even worse than Holy Water on demons, because not having existed at all, EVER is definitely worse than having existed and ceased to exist at some point) when The Metatron arrives, interrupts the moment and signals having brought coffee. Yup, an amicable gesture, but also a "not death" offering that he shows clearly to everyone (even when Michael or Uriel do not understand or care for it. It wasn't meant for them). He even dismisses what Michael was saying as "utter balderdash" and a "complete piffle", which are the kind of outdated terms we have heard Aziraphale use commonly. So, The Metatron has put up this show for a specific audience of one.

The next moment on the script has Metatron asking Crowley for the clarification of his identity. Up to this moment, every angel has been ignoring the sprawled demon in the corner while discussing how to punish Aziraphale… But The Metatron defers to the most unlikely person in the room, and the only one who will push any buttons on Aziraphale: Crowley. After that, Aziraphale can recognize him, and Metatron dismisses the "bad angels" (using Aziraphale's S1 epithet) with another "catchy old phrase", "spit spot", while keeping Muriel at the back and implying that there is a possibility to "check after" if those "bad angels" have done anything wrong.

Up to this moment, he has played it perfectly. The only moment when he loses it is when he calls Muriel "the dim one", which she ignores… probably because that's the usual way they get talked to in Heaven. I'm not sure if Aziraphale or Crowley cared for that small interaction, but it is there for us (the audience) to notice it: the sympathy the character might elicit is built and sought, but he is not that nice.

After that, comes "the chinwag" and the offer of the coffee: the unnecessarily complicated order. It is not Aziraphale's cup of tea (literally), but it is so specific that it creates some semblance of being thought with care, and has a "hefty jigger" of syrup (again with the funny old words). And, as Aziraphale recognizes, it is "very nice!" (as The Metatron "jolly hoped so"), and The Metatron approves of him drinking it by admitting he has "ingested things in my time, you know?". This interaction is absolutely designed to build a bridge of understanding. The Metatron probably knew that the first response he would get was a "no", so he tailored his connection specifically to "mirror" Aziraphale: love of tasty human treats he has also consumed, funny old words like the ones he loves, a very human, worn, well-loved look. That was the bait for "the stroll": the moment when Aziraphale and Crowley get separated, because The Metatron knew that being close to Crowley, Aziraphale would have an hypervigilant soundboard to check the sense of what he was going to get offered. That's what the nasty look The Metatron gives to Crowley while leaving the bookshop builds (and it gets pinpointed by the music, if you were about to miss it).

The next thing we listen from The Metatron is "You don't have to answer immediately, take all the time you need" in such a friendly manner… we can see Aziraphale doubting a little, and then comes the suggestion: "go and tell your friend the good news!". This sounds like encouragement, but is "the reel". He already knows how Crowley would react, and is expecting it (we can infer it by his final reaction after going back for Aziraphale after the break up, but let's not get ahead of ourselves shall we?). He even can work up Muriel to take care of the bookshop while waiting for the catch.

What did he planted in Aziraphale's mind? Well, let's listen to the story he has to tell:

"I don't think he's as bad a fellow… I might have misjudged him!" — not strange in Aziraphale to have such a generous spirit while judging people. He's in a… partnership? relationship? somethingship? with a demon! So maybe first impressions aren't that reliable anyway. The Metatron made an excellent job with this, too.

"Michael was not the obvious candidate, it was me!" — This idea is interesting. Michael has been the stickler, the rule follower, even the snitch. They have been rewarded and recognized by that. Putting Aziraphale before Michael in the line of succession is a way of recognizing not only him, but his system of values, which has always been at odds with the main archangels (even when it was never an open fight).

"Leader, honest, don't tell people what they want to hear" — All these are generic compliments. The Metatron hasn't been that aware of Aziraphale, but are in line with what would have been said of any "rebel leader". They come into context with the next phrase.

"That's why Gabriel came to you, I imagine…" — I'm pretty sure The Metatron didn't imagine this, ha. He is probably imagining that the "institutional problem" is coalescing behind his back, and trying to keep friends close, but enemies closer… while dividing and conquering. If Gabriel rebelled, and then went searching for Aziraphale (and Crowley, they are and item and he knows it), that might mean a true risk for his status quo and future plans.

Heaven has great plans and important projects for you — this is to sweeten the pot: the hefty jigger of almond syrup. You will be able to make changes! You can make a difference from the inside! Working for an old man who feels strangely familiar! And who recognizes your point of view! That sounds like the best job offer of the world, really.

Those, however, are not the main messages (they are still building good will with Aziraphale); they are thought out to build the last, and more important one:

Heaven is well aware of your "de facto partnership" with Crowley…

It would be considered irregular if you wanted to work with him again…

You, and you alone, can bring him to Heaven and restore his full angelic status, so you could keep working together (in very important projects).

Here is the catch. He brought the coffee so he could "offer him coffee", but the implications are quite clear: if you want to continue having a partnership with Crowley, you two must come to Heaven. Anything else would be considered irregular, put them in a worst risk, and maybe, just maybe, make them "institutional enemies". Heaven is more efficient chasing enemies, and they have The Book of Life as a menace.

We already know how scared Aziraphale has always been about upsetting Heaven, but he has learned to "disconnect" from it through the usual "they don't notice". The Metatron came to tell him "I did notice, and it has come back to bite you". The implied counterpart to the offer is "you can always get death". Or even worse, nonexistence (we have already imagined the angst of having one of them condemned to that fate, haven't we?)

When The Metatron arrives, just after seeing Crowley leave the bookshop, distraught, he casually asks "How did he take it?", but he already knows. That was his plan all along: making them break up with an offer Aziraphale could not refuse, but Crowley could not accept. That's why he even takes the license to slightly badmouth Crowley: "Always did want to go his own way, always asking damn fool questions, too". He also arrive with the solution to the only objection Aziraphale would have: Muriel, the happy innocent angel that he received with so much warmth and kindness, is given the opportunity to stay on Earth, taking care of the bookshop. The only thing he would have liked to take with him is not a thing, and has become impossible.

If God is playing poker in a dark room and always smiling, The Metatron is playing chess, and he is quite good at it (that's why he loves everything to be predictable). He is menacing our pieces, and broke our hearts in the process… But I'm pretty sure he is underestimating his opponents. His awful remark of Muriel being "dim"; saying that Crowley "asks damn fool questions", and even believing that Aziraphale is just a softie that can be played like a pipe… That's why telling him the project is "The Second Coming" was an absolute gift for us as an audience, and it prefigures the downfall that is coming — the one Aziraphale, now with nothing to lose, started cooking in his head during that elevator ride (those couple of minutes that Michael Sheen gifted to all of us: the shock, the pain, the fury, and that grin in the end, with the eyes in a completely different emotion). Remember that Aziraphale is intelligent, but also fierce. Guildernstern commited a similar mistake in Hamlet, and it didn't go well:

"Why, look you now, how unworthy a thing you make of me! You would play upon me, you would seem to know my stops, you would pluck out the heart of my mystery, you would sound me from my lowest note to the top of my compass, and there is much music, excellent voice, in this little organ, yet cannot you make it speak. 'Sblood, do you think I am easier to be played on than a pipe? Call me what instrument you will, though you can fret me, you cannot play upon me."

I'm so excited to learn how this is going to unfold!! Because our heroes have always been very enthusiastic at creating plans together, failed miserably at executing them, and even then succeeding… But now they are apart, more frustrated and the stakes are even higher. Excellent scenario for a third act!

*exits, pursued by a bear*

[iliveforyouilongforyouvesuvia]

M6 with MC who is an amputee plss??

The Arcana Mini-HCs: When MC is an amputee

Julian: trust him, he knows all about this. pain meds? he'll smuggle you the best stuff. physical therapy? he's always down to work through it with you. no task is too much or a bother for him

Asra: they've struck a magical balance between supporting your independence and always being willing to help. that said, he's also made all kinds of odd/suspicious modifications to your prosthetics

Nadia: absolutely fascinated by the technicalities of your day-to-day functioning. will grill you for details as soon as you're comfortable and has a new life obsession for engineering the perfect prosthetic

Muriel: only starts to notice or care about it when Morga makes a couple harsh comments on your "ability levels". can tell when you're having a rough time with one glance and knows just what you need

Portia: genuinely incredible at adapting her cottage and living situation to make things accessible to you. also has constant new ideas for things you could do (smuggling snacks in the empty spaces)

Lucio: hey, twinsies! you deserve a really nice golden prosthetic too! though er - maybe this time he'll let you ask Asra's parents for it ... nicely ... without involving any dungeons or death threats ... oopsie

[thesherrinfordfacility]

✨already on the metatron erasure campaign™ let's fucking go✨:

*EDIT, IMPORTANT* I can't believe i even missed this...but metatron is dressed in a dark coat and (iirc) tie

we know from s1 that metatron has very little patience for aziraphale, was pro-armageddon, and at least claimed to be the voice of God (when my man is basically a glorified answerphone)

the half-and-half miracle was conducted on top of the sigil, the transportation circle through which aziraphale dialled 101-metatron in s1, and we know the miracle ended up being Very Powerful

michael doesn't seem to recognise metatron... which is odd as theyre high ranking, uriel and saraqael seem to recognise him, they've definitely met, and michael was shown in the job minisode to have pretty good recollection for job's kids' names - possible memory wipe? saw something they weren't supposed to?

says he has consumed human matter before - why would metatron have been on earth??? and know what to order in a mf café???

speaking of the café, the dialogue, about people asking for death? "No... I don't suppose they do... So predictable."not sure on what this means but 💀 fckin weirdo

refers to muriel as the dim one but still puts her in charge of a heaven sanctuary on earth? as far as we know, the only one? hmmm seems like you want a puppet metty babes

butters up aziraphale with the sweet, cosy coffee - but indicating that he barely knows him at all given that we mainly see aziraphale drinking tea

what he ordered in the café was a small dash of almond syrup, but then describes it to aziraphale as being a hefty jigger of the stuff, indicating something added? wondering if there's further significance to the laudanum poison - an opiate? planning to essentially kidnap aziraphale knowing that crowley won't come looking now?

'hmm it's nice!" "yes I should jolly well hope so" 😁

a veeeeeery faint miracle chime as the coffee is handed over and when aziraphale raises it to his mouth, but hesitates... He asks "shall i...?" And metty goes:

"DRINK IT???😠 of course🙂"

definitely History™ with crowley; crowley readily recognises him after a moment, the look metatron gave him as they left the shop was filthy, and: "ah well! always did want to go his own way... always asking damn fool questions, too!"... like i get metatron is the voice of God, but was it metatron that actually made crowley fall? does metatron have that power, not exclusively god? did metatron say it was on god's orders?

plus - metatron tells aziraphale that he can reverse falling which, to me, seems like a pretty bomb ass power... and a bit OP even for the highest Archangel of heaven, leading me to:

very low, sultry ass voice, maintaining eye contact with aziraphale - all trademarks of hypnotism (temptation?) behaviour? while aziraphale was possibly drugged?

and was the promise of getting crowley restored to heaven actually a bluff, metatron knowing the aziraphale even attempting to broach it with crowley would split them up?

"go tell your friend the good news!!" Said in a voice that makes me think metty knows it's very Bad News Bears

is the whole thing a ploy to split them up? they came together in heaven, and then again on earth; is metatron trying to solve this one by essentially making aziraphale an offer he can't refuse, but that crowley absolutely will?

why choose the lift? why not just power up the circle and go through the sunroof???

and im sorry metatron but you must realise that aziraphale is severely underqualified right💀

[emeritusemeritus]

No Good Deeds [George Weasley x Reader]

Part 5

Part 1 2 3 4 5

Pairing: {George Weasley x Reader} mentions of previous Fred Weasley x Reader.

Timeline: Set a few years after DH, loosely following Canon.

Summary: A few years after Fred’s death, the investors of Weasleys’ Wizard Wheezes demand changes to the name. All it would take is two years of a fake marriage to fix the issues, but no good deed goes unpunished.

Warnings: Fake marriage trope because we love the cliché. Mentions of death (Fred). Friends to lovers. Slow burn but mentions of kissing and eventual smut. Swearing. George calls us Angel. Drinking. SMUT. The smut has arrived! P in V, oral (both). Angst, sadness, grief. Tags will be updated with each chapter. Not Beta-read or spell checked.

Honeymoon time 💕

Your wedding to George was a jubilant celebration with your family and friends, a chance to bask in the love you were so thankful to receive from everyone around you. You'd honoured Fred in many ways that day, including photos of him, an empty chair with his name on and many other little ways to make it seem like he was there. You'd noticed George had worn his chain under his suit shirt and the sight of it made butterflies flutter inside you.

It was a small and quaint wedding that had admittedly been rushed in planning, only two weeks after you'd announced your engagement, but it was perfect. No one had doubted your intentions and the day had gone completely to plan, except for the regular hiccups that seem to occur when a group of people are brought together. Muriel had been characteristically foul as usual and had clashed with your great aunt Ariadne though she'd avoided the more triggering topics which was one consolation.

You danced with your friends and your now blended family late into the night, with George eventually stealing you back from dancing with Bill for one final dance.

"Have you had a good day Mrs Weasley?" He asks, holding you close as you sway with surprising grace even with the healthy amount of alcohol you'd both consumed.

"The best, Mr Weasley," you beam up at him, his handsomeness once again hitting you as you look upon his smiling face.

"Couldn't have asked for better. I don't think you've ever looked more beautiful."

The night you'd spent together had not been repeated since, nor had you really spoken about it. There was a lingering tension between you, growing increasingly stronger throughout the day as you thought of your wedding night and honeymoon, the anticipation almost consuming you.

Ginny and Fleur had whisked you away from George not long after your final dance to get you ready to leave for your honeymoon, which you'd be departing for very soon. It was tradition in the Weasley family to immediately begin your honeymoon the night of the wedding and you had readily accepted the chance to exit out of the wedding a little earlier into the night, giving you and George some time alone.

You'd chosen to honeymoon in the U.K. to keep costs down, after all this whole situation was based upon George reclaiming the shop as sole owner and any unnecessary spending would only increase the amount of time you'd be married. Bill and Fleur had graciously offered for you to stay in Shell Cottage with them but George had instead chosen to surprise you with your destination. He'd tactfully evaded every single one of your questions, relishing in his power of knowledge but had thankfully given you a few clues as to what you should pack. Clothes for all weather, from hot to bitter cold, a couple of 'nice' outfits and a bathing suit. So, nothing to really go off.

Percy had arranged a ministry car for you to borrow for the week, his gift for you both and you'd decided to travel like muggles for the week, taking your time and only using magic when necessary. George was driving to your destination, the luggage and travel necessities having been packed up earlier that day by the Weasley boys and Harry.

The crowd cheered as you both walked towards the car that was waiting for you, your family and friends gathered around with jubilant faces as you walked hand in hand towards the car. You both paused to thank and embrace Mr and Mrs Weasley before climbing into the car, George opening the door for you before getting in on his side. You waved at the gathering of people in front of you as George pulled away and as you pulled away from the Burrow, you peered through the back window, squirming around the freshly painted 'just married' sign to see your loved ones fading further away as they carried on the party.

"Are you okay?" George asks gently as he drives out of Ottery St Catchpole, the rolling Devonshire fields passing you by as the sun begins to set.

"I'm... incredible, I don't think there are words for how I'm feeling," you say with a wide smile, giggling a little at your inability to get your words out. He chuckles and reaches for your hand, pulling it onto the gear stick to join his.

"I know what you mean, I feel like I'm floating," he says, flashing you a smile before turning his attention back to the road. You take the opportunity of his attention being elsewhere to really look at him,  the plains of his face looking unbelievably handsome to you. He looked stunning in his suit, the colour and cut of the material only serving as a compliment to his gorgeous red hair and sharp features.

"Checking me out Mrs Weasley?" He says with a smirk, eyes still fixed on the road. You fight to hide the creeping blush that appears on your cheeks, realising that he'd caught you staring. You bite your lip and turn away, choosing to look out of the window at the rolling hills instead. "You can you know, I'm yours now."

You turn to look at him and the smile he has plastered on his face fills you with warmth and nervous excitement.

"You look so handsome, I feel like I can't take my eyes off you," you admit, a little bashfully.

He gives a deep chuckle and squeezes your hand that is still held by his own.

"You have no idea how hard it is to drive right now, all I want to do is stare at you," he admits, though he sounds completely unashamed of his words. You blush and look away again, this time out of pure bliss, wanting to remember everything about this moment.

"Get some sleep Angel, it's quite a drive," he says softly a few minutes later, turning down the radio that was playing music in the background.

"I'm okay," you lightly protest, despite feeling relaxed by the drive. "I wish I'd taken this dress off though, not the best travelling outfit."

"And take that joy away from me? How dare you," he jokes, sounding a little outraged. Your stomach instantly fills with nerves and butterflies at his words; he intended to take your dress off.

You fell asleep a short while later, just as the last slither of sunlight had disappeared into the horizon, the long stretch of road ahead now only lit by car lights and the faint cats eyes on the ground. The mixture of the low humming from the radio, the gentle rocking of the car and the presence of George was enough to lull you into a much needed sleep as you cuddled into a pillow you'd thought to pack, wishing that you were wearing something much less restrictive but that couldn't be helped.

When you woke again, it was still pitch black and George was still driving, the car lights ahead of you the only clue to where you were.

"Hi Angel," George says, noticing you staring as he briefly looks over at you with a smile.

"Mmm, hi Georgie," you mumble back, still fighting off the last embers of sleep. "Where are we?"

"Nice try," he says, not falling at the last hurdle and you give a little huff, hoping that one would have worked. "About an hour away."

"Is there time to stop for a coffee somewhere?" You ask, sitting straighten in your seat as you abandon the pillow into your lap.

"I don't know anywhere that would be open," he says, flicking his eyes to the dashboard clock, prompting you to do so and realising that it was now past midnight, much to your surprise.

"McDonald's will be," you say with a little shrug, trying to see any hints from signposts as to where you were of where the next services would be.

"McDonald's?" He asks, completely oblivious and you can't help but laugh, never having thought about how the notion of 24 hour fast food had not yet entered the wizarding world, making George completely oblivious.

"It's a 24 hour restaurant, usually around road services, it's fast food," you explain. He immediately gets it and let's out a little 'ahhh' of understanding, telling you that there was a services coming up and you could check if there was one there. There was.

Introducing George Weasley to drive-through ordering was nothing short of hilarious and you'd briefly lamented the fact that his first McDonald's experience wouldn't be inside an actual McDonald's building but you were not about to enter a fast food joint at a service station in a wedding dress. You'd both ordered a coffee, yourself a medium coke and then you had excitedly introduced him to not only a Big Mac but also chicken nuggets, both of which were a complete revelation to him and you had to hold back serious giggles at his reactions. Half an hour later and you were on your way, coffees in hand and belly's a little fuller as you prepared for the last part of your journey.

"Are you sure you don't want me to take over? I don't mind driving to give you a break," you offered as you watch him put on his seatbelt.

"You don't know where we're going," he says with a devilish smirk but you feign innocence.

"Then just tell me and I'll get us there," you say innocently, batting your eyelashes at him.

"Nice try baby," he says with an even more sinister smirk, his eyes roaming your face briefly before he turns on the car and begins to pull away after one last sip of coffee.

You were transfixed as George turned right up a long winding path entirely shielded by trees, the long road leading you deeper under the canopy of trees until you were completely surrounded by woodland. You could make out a small, warm light at the end of the long road and became transfixed on the approaching light, trying to focus your eyes hard on that point, trying to make sense of it. The car swerved a little to avoid a large twig in the road which brought your destination into clear view.

You gasped at the beauty of the scene in front of you, looking excitedly at George who looked more than pleased at your reaction.

"George," you say breathlessly as he parks up in the little clearing beside the place you'd be staying.

It was a rustic log cabin, completely shielded away from everything by a large canopy of trees, a beautiful escape completely hidden away from the outside world. The cabin was almost entirely made of wood with wooden shutters and a wrap around deck.

"George it's beautiful," you say, completely gobsmacked as you look at the gorgeous lodge in front of you, seeing it illuminated by the multiple lanterns that offered a stark contrast against the pitch black night.

"Only the best for my bride," he teases, opening up his car door, prompting you to do the same.

"Want to explore whilst I unload the car?" He asks with a grin, holding the keys to the cabin out in front of you, the little wooden keyring clinking against the two old fashioned keys. You nod enthusiastically and reach out to grab them, pulling George in and without much thought, you leaned up to press a kiss to his lips. Instantly, you realised what you'd done and took a step back, blushing a little as you avoided his gaze. His hand had instinctively wrapped around your back and he gave your back a little rub as you parted, showing no ill will as you turned and walked excitedly towards the cabin.

Opening the door, you were immediately met with an illuminated room thanks to the warm lighting from multiple lamps and light fixtures. The cabin was warm, as if there was a log fire already burning and the smell was heavenly, clean and fresh but with an indisputable scent of wood and pine, a natural consequence of it's idyllic surroundings. You walked through a little entrance hall that houses a utility room before stepping into an open living room, dining room and kitchen, all of which were warm and inviting with natural wood features throughout and neutral colours, highlighting the windows which you knew would almost certainly have beautiful views in the morning. There were two brown leather sofas that looked absolutely lush and a single armchair underneath a window that looked perfect for reading, a tall lamp beside it and a little table for drinks. There was a television and a cabinet in the corner and beside that was a beautiful log burner that was indeed lit, radiating heat throughout the home. You couldn't see much through the side door that was half glass but the outside light did illuminate the decking a little, highlighting a rather impressive sunken hot tub that was covered, eliciting a little excited squeal from you.

You walked down a small corridor that led off from the main atrium through a beautifully carved wooden door with an old metal latch which led you to the bathroom on the left and two bedrooms. You crept into the bathroom to take a peak and saw a big bathtub to the left and a built in shower to the right, as if every need was catered for. One bedroom has two single beds partitioned with a beautiful shelving unit and the other bedroom was almost certainly the master.

There was a huge four poster bed against the back wall bookended by two beside tables with lamps that looked entirely too inviting. The bedding was sheer white and completely crease free, only adding to its appeal. There was a smaller television in here too, along with a dressing table and a large, ornate wardrobe that looked older than the cabin itself.

"What do you think Mrs Weasley?" George asks from behind you as you pause to run your hand over the ornately carved bed frame. You turn to see him leaning against the doorframe with a smirk, still wearing his wedding suit but now with his tie removed and a few buttons open near his collar.

"I think it's absolutely beautiful Mr Weasley," you reply, turning to him with a look of pure elation.

"Just like my wife then," he says with a look in his eyes that makes your pulse race. He steps towards you with clear conviction and it's all you can do not to melt into a puddle, the look in his eye so dangerously arousing that you're almost frozen to the spot. It was the first time he'd called you his wife and the reaction that it pulled from your body was almost unbelievable, the sound of it almost heavenly in your mind.

As soon as he reaches you, there's a brief pause as if he's searching your face for any hint of resistance, not that he'd find any. When he sees the look in your eye, knowing that you wanted him just as much as he wanted you, he steps even closer and wraps his hand around the back of your neck before leaning down and kissing you with a burning passion.

Your hands slip up to his chest, feeling the material of his lapels under your fingers and pull slightly, needing to feel him as close to you as possible as you pull his jacket off. His fingers tangle in your hair as the kiss deepens, tongues working together to fuel the burning desire between you both.

With his right hand cradling your head and his left clutching as your waist, he begins leading you to the side of the bed, silently asking if it was okay to go further.

"Make love to me George," you say against his lips, hardly wanting to pull away for even a second. You hear him groan against your lips before his hand slips from your hair and down to your butt, cradling you and taking your weight. In a move that would otherwise impress you if you'd seen it in person, he sweeps you off your feet whilst climbing onto the bed and lays you down softly before climbing over you, kicking off his shoes in the process.

"I've waited all day to rip this dress off of you," he mumbles against your skin as he begins kissing down your neck, onto your bare shoulders where your dress straps began, the soft layers of the gown suddenly feeling much too restrictive as your skin burnt up with desire. He kisses down your chest as your hands tangle in his slightly grown out hair. There's a single moment where your eyes meet, just as he hovers over your panting cleavage and it takes your breath away how absolutely sexy he looks, the desire and admiration in his eyes mirroring your own. His long fingers drag against your rib cage as they dance over to your covered breasts before he reaches in to pull down the cup of dress, exposing your right breast to him, your dusky pink nipple already hard and waiting for him. He groans, watching your breast spring free and immediately bends down to run his tongue over the pebbled nipple, eliciting a deep, breathy moan from you before his lips wrap about the little bud and begin sucking. You moan out again, throwing your head back into the pillows at the overwhelming sensation and suddenly you feel the whole atmosphere change. There's no trepidation anymore, no resistance or questioning but rather just a primal urge between both of you.

You can tell that George is feeling for the opening your dress so you divert his fingers to the small, concealed zipper on the side and help him drag it down, much too slowly for your liking. He pulls away the dress after you slip your arms out and you watch carefully as his mouth slips open to a little 'o' shape as he pulls the dress from your body, exposing you completely to his gaze. You couldn't wear a bra with your dress thanks to the unique straps but you had thought you buy a tiny white lace thong that you'd had embroidered with a little 'W' on the left side of the crotch, knowing it would either make him laugh or make him growl. Luckily for you, it was most certainly the latter as he groaned as he spotted it, momentarily fixated on your naked breasts that were exposed completely for his view, his eyes travelling down your body with acute precision before he eventually noticed your little customisation. He groans and leans down to press a kiss directly to where the 'W' was situated, just above your mound and you can't help but squirm as the sensation of having him so close to where you needed him. He notices, of course he does, and his eyes flick up to yours with a look of pure mischief as he begins kissing the inside of your thigh and across your bikini line, teasing you. You groan and can't help but roll your hips as he flutters kisses everywhere apart from where you need them.

"My beautiful wife needs something?" He teases, acting completely oblivious when you knew he was very aware.

"Please George," you beg, "need you."

Like a switch had been flicked in George's mind, his long fingers begin tracing your pussy through the very thin and nearly transparent lace, groaning once again when he feels the wetness seeping through the lace. You feel his fingers hook into the side of your thong, catching your labia with a little stroke before he pulls them away from your burning pussy, exposing you completely to his view. He wastes no time and leans down, licking a long stripe across your pussy, catching your swollen clit with the til of his tongue in the most perfect way that has you gasping and moaning.

"Fuck you taste good, so sweet," he whines into your pussy, resting his forehead against your mound for a moment before he slips down again, this time licking you with vigour. "So wet baby."

His tongue is everywhere, delicately stroking and teasing whilst also hitting every spot you need him in perfectly. It's a perfect juxtaposition between his igniting a fire inside of you, making you burn with desire and pure torment whilst also extinguishing the flames with his tongue. As soon as his finger traces your inner lips as it moves down, gently pressing into your waiting hole before he slips one of his long, deft fingers inside of you, you're gone. His name falls from your lips like a prayer, hips rising of their own accord as you grope your breasts, completely consumed by your pleasure. He slips a second finger into you as you cry out, fucking yourself on his fingers as he circles your clit with his tongue, putting pressure on the left side just as he's discovered drives you crazy.

"George, George!" You chant as you feel the beginning of your orgasm rising in you very quickly, consuming you and burning you from the inside out. Your pussy is drenched and you can feel more arousal gushing from you as your climax crests, George's own moans ringing out in your mind as he pushes you over the edge. It's like you're falling, the crescendo of light and burning arousal overtaking your whole body and mind, the only capable thought in your mind is of George. He licks you slowly as you come down, careful to avoid your sensitive clit as he laps up your cum, fingers still slowly fucking you bath and forth with gentle strokes, extending your pleasure.

You gasp to catch your breath, chest rising and falling rapidly as your heart pounds, the effects of your orgasm still lingering as you feel a tingle across your whole body. It takes all of ten seconds for you to focus your attention back to George who has pulled his fingers out of you and began kissing your inner thigh again, soothing you as you return to him.

You sit up and reach for him, pulling him on top of you as you kiss him feverishly, moaning as you taste yourself on his lips. He notices and groans deeply against your lips, almost growling as you lick at his lips, desperate for a taste. You claw at his shirt, desperate to even out your nudity and feel his skin against yours and as if he can sense the sheer desperation, reaches down and completely rips the front of his shirt, the flying and falling buttons only an afterthought as you fight to get the shredded shirt away from his body. Your hands slip to his smooth shoulders and down his back as you kiss him desperately, pulling his tongue into your mouth so you can suck on it, relishing in his deep groans and little whines. Your hands rest on his collarbones as you slowly pull away from him, pushing him slightly until he realises was you want. You overpower him with just enough force that he rolls onto his back as you immediately latch to his chest, kissing and biting as you make your way down to your destination.

His suit trousers are completely tented, the sheer size an excitement of him almost intimidating to you as you fight to open the fastenings of his trousers. You don't wait even a moment after they are open to slide them down his hips, along with his black boxer briefs until he was completely bare, except from his sentimental chain and your wedding rings. You crawl back up the bed after throwing aside his bottoms and flick your eyes up to see his own desperate look as you come face to face with his rather impressive member. His lips are parted and he looks completely desperate as he watches you carefully, silently pleading for you to take his aching length in your mouth. You grant him reprieve almost instantly, licking straight from the crest of his balls to the engorged tip of his cock, tracing the throbbing vein on the underside of his cock, following the gentle curve. He cries out at the contact and it makes you want to do everything in your power to hear it over and over again.

You gave into him completely, taking his tip in your mouth and licking all around, earning another heavenly noise from him before you sucked in your cheeks and bobbed up and down his length, taking him deeper and deeper with each fall; never stopping your tongue from running along the length of him. You were addicted to him, the taste, the weight of his length against your tongue, the feel of his smooth skin against your lips. You fought to go further with each bob, sucking him down like the most delicious treat from Honeydukes, giving everything you could.

George was moaning mess before you, desperately searching for any part of your body he could reach as he fought to stop his hips from rising each time you'd pull off, like he never wanted to leave your hot, wet mouth. Sweet names, curses and a load more expletives fell from his mouth as you pleasured him until he reached out, leaning forward to pull you closer to him.

You were dripping, more aroused than ever and so desperate for him to fill you that it was all you could think about. He pauses, looking at the little strip of lace that was still misplaced, concealing nothing of yourself and ripped the thin strings on the sides, tearing it away from your body, both of you complete bare to the other's gaze.

It was so intimate and intense that it stole the breath from your lungs, just how adoringly he was gazing at you. His hand grabbed around your neck, holding your face and threading into your hair as he kissed you completely without abandon, your chests pressed together as your leg slipped between his, desperately seeking friction.

"Ride me baby," he mumbles against your lips and as if acting directly on command, you comply. You lift your hips and straddle him, his narrow hips allowing your thighs to rest against his comfortably as your centres align, the heat and sensitivity joining together to make you both gasp.

He reaches down and holds his perfect cock at the bottom, ready for you to climb onto and you can hardly contain your cries as you slowly sink down, feeling him stretching you out. He pulls his hand away, moaning at the sensation as his hand rests on your bum, the large hand and long fingers wrapping around your bum and thigh.

It's sinful how well he stretches you out, filling you completely without any pain or discomfort, like you'd been moulded perfectly for his cock alone.

When your hips rise again and you sink back down, this time much more confidently, your head flips back at the sensation. George grunts and tightens his grip on you as you slowly begin to ride him, hips undulating and breasts bouncing as you fall into a perfect rhythm. Your hair fans out across your back and you've never felt sexier in that moment, feeling adored under his gaze and praised by not only his words but also his moans and growls.

You're both so worked up, so perfectly in sync that you can hardly contain yourself, not even caring to try and hold off the impending climax that threatens you, creeping up slowly until it's impossible to resist. You can feel your walls clenching around him, your arousal peaking as it leaks out around his cock and you're rewarded with the most incredible moans that spill from his lips at the sensation.

"George, Georgie I'm gonna," you stagger, completely breathless as you keep riding him, finding the perfect spot and movement so that he hits every single pleasure point inside you.

"Cum Angel, fuck, cum around my cock," he pants, groaning and tightening his grip on your hips as he fucks up into you. "Godric you're tight, perfect little pussy squeezing my cock so good. Cum for me Angel."

You chant his name as the heat of your second orgasm consumes you, never once stopping as you bounce on his cock. He takes over fucking up into you as you ride out your climax, filling you completely as he shoves his entire length into you before pulling almost completely out and repeating the motion. You're in complete bliss, overwhelmingly so, and can hardly stop tears of overstimulation brimming at your eyes, blurring your vision only slightly. George lets out a roar as he cums, fucking up into you with a brutal pace that is sinful at best. His hands pull you close to him, bruises forming under his grip but it's perfect.

His thrust stop slowly as he comes down from his high, riding out the last of his pleasure as he pulls you down to rest on him, softening cock slipping out at the angle. You breathe deeply as you feel the evidence of his pleasure slipping out of you slowly, trickling down until it dripped onto your inner thighs.

He cranes his neck to reach out to kiss you again, though this time it's like a warm down, gentle and sensitive.

"Welcome to the family," he wheezes after a few moments of comfortable silence and you let out a loud belly laugh at the absurdity of his words, tapping his chest as you slink down to rest beside him, his arm still keeping you pressed to him. He's covered you both with the duvet and you can't resist slipping into a very comfortable sleep, too comfortable and worn out from the day to fight it.

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[harlotofupdog]

The Serpent and Thistle - Chapter Three

Hey, check out this dumb wonker harlot who can't even finish a picture in time to post, but here, have a lil sneak peek small version because who finishes stuff anyway? That would be weird and I am demonstrably not weird. Anyway, here's chapter 3 of pubby pubby jizzy jizz.

Summary: Aziraphale is a Met officer who transfers to a small village police station. Crowley is the local publican. They don't see eye to eye.

There is also a plot. I hope.

Rating: E (E for Eventually)

CW/TW: I'm going to add a content warning here now rather than later, just so people are aware - there will be a couple of briefly mentioned deaths in later chapters of this story, but none of them are any of the characters that we know (including animals, of course). It is, in part, a cop story, so there will be a couple of slightly grim allusions, but we're not going into anything too rough in the story itself. I'll do specific CW/TW tags before the chapters in question, but I just wanted to foreshadow that now.

Special eternal thanks to u/Paperclip_Ninja who did an EXTRA SPECIAL last minute beta this weekend for me because I'm useless and hopeless. Thank you always sun-ox.

Excerpty boi:

Aziraphale looks up to where the vicar is pointing out the culprit, perched neatly atop the belfry. Harry, of course, does not look up. He is investigating the vicar’s trouser leg with benign interest, while PC Muriel Constable squints first at their notepad, and then at the church roof, as if the sum they were quite sure of does not add up in the end.

“I’m sure you’re very busy, officers—aren’t we all? But I thought I really should report it. You never know with these things,” says Vicar Brown cheerfully. He seems a nice enough man, although he stands just a little too close and is perhaps a little over familiar. As if to reinforce the point, the vicar claps a chummy hand on Aziraphale’s shoulder and leaves it there, fingers flexing slightly against the wool. It’s the sort of thing that would warrant a hand on his baton if he were walking the beat in south London. Here, though, it just makes him wince.

[sungmee]

GOOD OMENS NYCC PANEL HIGHLIGHTS

NEW POSTER

(not really spoilers, but a lot of hints; under a read more just in case)

-nina and maggie confirmed as new characters, named nina and maggie; shopowners in soho, aziraphale is basically their landlord. maggie owns a record shop, nina a coffee shop called 'give me coffee of give me death' 

-"[about msheen and dtennant] i can't talk about one without the other, they get grumpy when i do that" - douglas mckinnon 

-neil calling the new characters for nina and maggie their actual names and accidentally creating hell on set, how crowleycore of him 

-quelin plays muriel, a “nice angel” visiting earth for the first time 

-neil saying there are "love stories" in s2 

-"can you give us any clue of what season 2 will be about?" "it will be about 6 episodes" 

-new character for miranda richardson; demon 

-anna maxwell martin will not be returning as beelzebub, new actor 

-they showed a clip (not visible for those of us watching the livestream) where muriel posed as a “human police officer” and visited aziraphale, who was kindly helping her pretend, and they have tea, then crowley bursts in and apparently its very domestic. crowley kind of bullies muriel a bit, then says ‘angel, a word in private?’ and they go into a room together and close the door

-michael, david, and jon all joined via zoom call 

-scene of gabriel walking nude down a soho street?? 

-s2 comes out summer 2023

[onceuponapuffin]

Fanatic Intervention Part 3!!

Okay, this thing needs a name. Please suggest ideas in the comments :) I know this part is tedious, but the thing with self-insert is you have Establishing to do before any Real Action happens. We'll get there, just hang on.

//Edited to include title.

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***********

The shaking must have been more visible than you thought, because Muriel is at your side before you can speak. They touch your shoulder gently.

“Um, excuse me,” they say, “Sorry, but you’re shaking an awful lot. Maybe you should sit down.” You nod, and it takes concentration, but with Muriel’s help you make it to the sofa. Apparently caffeine and adrenaline aren’t the best mix. Your breathing speeds up, despite your best efforts, and the rest of the room feels fuzzy. Shit, you do not need this right now. There’s talking and movement, but listening to the words feels too sharp, and the best you can do to convey that you are not okay is to shake your head over and over and over. You reach out a hand next to you, and are surprised to find the sleeve of Aziraphale’s shirt. It’s not ideal, but it’s something, and he doesn’t pull away. You focus on the feel of the cotton, the button on the cuff, the pattern of the stitching in the seams. Slowly, you’re able to tune back in. You focus on your breathing, you look around and count five things that start with B – button, books, brown, bow tie, black. Crowley hands you a mug of cocoa, and you accept it, running your thumb along the porcelain wings and letting your hands feel the heat of the drink. You take a sip and take stock.

Multiverse travel (?), mouthing off to the literal Voice of God (lol), brush with death (or...eternal saltiness?), confronting your very limited mortality (at least it’s 5 lives and not 3), panic attack. WELP. This is going well so far. Just peachy. You take another sip, and notice that everyone’s waiting. Oh, right. You clear your throat.

“Thanks,” You say, “Sorry about that. Um...I’m gonna guess that you all have some questions.”

“That would be accurate, yes,” Aziraphale says next to you. Now that you are better, he stands, straightens his waistcoat, and moves to stand nearer the chair (and Crowley), and watches you with his hands folded in front of him. “The first of which is, who exactly are you?”

“Buckle in, folks,” You say to them, “You’re in for a ride.”

And so you begin your info dump. You notice Muriel taking dedicated notes. Good, they’ll probably need those later. You tell them that you’re not sure exactly where you’re from, but it’s not here. You explain the tv show, the radio show, you even mention the musical, and of course, when you get to the book, you ask Crowley to find it on the shelf behind him. It’s right where you remember Jim leaving it. Crowley opens it, and you begin on instinct:

“’It was a nice day. All the days had been nice. There had been rather seven of them thus far, and rain hadn’t been invented yet.’ Now skip a couple lines Crowley. ‘I said that one went down like a lead balloon.’ Sound familiar? There’s more.” You stop quoting there, because Crowley has started flipping through the pages quicker. Aziraphale holds out his hand, and after a while, Crowley hands it to him, then goes to a corner where you notice him taking a few deep breaths. You lean to the side to see that he’s not smoking, exactly, but definitely smoldering. You look at Aziraphale next, and see him turn white as a sheet, before handing the book to Muriel’s eager hands. The scrivener is the only one who looks delighted as they flip through. Aziraphale cleares this throat and composes himself.

“Uhm...now I believe you told Metatron that...The Almighty sent you here. Is...is that actually the case?”

“Honestly,” You say, “I have no idea. I just needed to get him out of your shop and away from you.”

“Away from...me?”

“Yeah...um...” You notice that Crowley has come back to the conversation now, although his sunglasses are slightly askew. You glance at Muriel, who has noticed the shift in your tone, has closed the book, and is now watching you. They put the novel on the nearest surface and reach for their notebook again.

And so, you explain the most solid fan theories that you know. That their joint miracle from the other day made them a threat for Apocalypse 2.0, and that Metatron was here to separate them, by offering Aziraphale the job of Supreme Archangel. This news is met with...surprise.

“Well that’s just stupid,” Crowley says, “He says no, in your tv show, clearly.”

“Yes, I rather can’t imagine I’d be so keen to return to Heaven after everything.”

“Weeeeelllll…...”

The room goes silent, except for Muriel’s writing. They stop after a moment, unaware of the silence.

“So then, you were trying to keep them from being separated because the power of an angel and a demon is most powerful together.”

“Yeah, or the power of love maybe. I’m not sure. Neil’s been kind of vague on that point.” You intentionally keep your gaze on Muriel once you realize what you implied. You will get there. Making those two talk about their feelings is on your list. Patience, patience.

“Oh, the author – Neil Gaiman?” Muriel points at the book with their pencil.

“Yeah, him. He answers questions sometimes.”

Muriel makes a note. You realize something.

“Wait a minute, Muriel,” You say, “Are you...on board with this?”

Muriel stops writing and considers your question for a minute.

“Well, see, the thing is,” They begin, “I’ve seen an awful lot that I never thought I would see? Just in the last week. Like a demon being nice –“

“HEY! Not nice!”

“And the Archangel Gabriel being in love with a demon and running away with them. And then you fell out of nowhere, and honestly what you said to the Metatron may have been a lie, and therefore, you know, bad, but it makes sense. If God didn’t want you here, you wouldn’t be here. So if I help you, I’m helping the Will of God, right?”

Crowley is the one to break the silence that follows.

“Honestly I would have thought it’d take longer for you to take after me. I have to say, I am impressed.”

“Take what after you?”

“Nevermind.”

“Well,” says Aziraphale, “Is there anything else that we need to know about?”

You think about the kiss. You think about everything that came after. You think about ‘and I would like to spend -’ But no, none of that is relevant now. Why do you feel like you’re forgetting something?

The bell at the door rings. You turn around to see Maggie and Nina. UGH. Right.

“I’ve got it, ladies, no worries! Come back later!” You call, desperately.

“Excuse me! No, we need to speak to these two now if you don’t mind!” Maggie says. Clearly she doesn’t care who you are or what you’re doing here.

You roll your eyes. Honestly, you don’t have beef with Maggie and Nina. You agree with them telling off Crowley and Aziraphale, it’s just that you can’t help but feel that the clock is ticking. But, well, there’s no helping it is there? With a sigh, you stand.

“Come on, Muriel,” You say, “Let’s go to the kitchen and get some more cocoa while these four talk.”

Muriel follows you into the kitchen. You don’t listen, you don’t need to. All you need to do is refill your drink while Maggie and Nina tell them off. While you’re at it, you try to convince Muriel to have one. Despite your best effort, you’re unsuccessful. Oh well, all in good time. When you hear the bell chime again, you go back into the shop to find Aziraphale and Crowley looking very pink in the cheeks. You can’t help but smirk.

“All right, chaps?” You say in your best-terrible-British-accent. Aziraphale nods. Well good. Because you all have work to do.

❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ 🖤

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[mimisempai]

Reading your love on every card

Summary

While wandering around the bookshop, Muriel comes across a strange tarot deck. Showing it to Crowley, he discovers that he's on every card, without exception. It seems his angel has some explaining to do.

Notes

My way of repairing the fact that the Lover's card has become The duo in the official Good Omens game.

On Ao3

Rating G -  1099 words

"Oh, what's this?"

Aziraphale barely looked up, vaguely wondering what Muriel had discovered during one of their bookshop musings. But his book was really exciting and he didn't want to interrupt his reading.

"I'm going to go see what our little nosy bee has discovered."

Crowley rose from the sofa, gave Aziraphale a gentle squeeze on the shoulder and walked over to where Muriel was standing.

Aziraphale hummed and resumed his reading.

Until he was interrupted by Crowley's exclamations, "But it's me, isn't it? It is me, isn't it? On these cards!"

Muriel replied, "I don't think there are many demons with that eye and hair color."

Crowley continued, "Wait, The Moon! That's my face on the inside of the moon!"

Muriel replied, "Oh, and there, The Emperor, even without the hair and eye color, that smug look is totally you!"

"You cheeky little thing!!!"

Muriel giggled as Crowley continued, "Wahoo, even the Empress is me!"

"Absolutely gorgeous I must say."

Crowley chuckled softly and replied, "Thank you, I forgive your earlier impertinence, little bee."

Aziraphale suddenly felt like leaving, knowing exactly what Muriel had found.

An ancient Tarot deck, and not just any old one.

One he'd crafted years, if not decades, ago.

They were both right, for on every card, without exception, was Crowley, whether clearly visible or in metaphorical form.

Muriel chuckled again before saying, "Oh... The World would almost make me blush. It doesn't hide much of your anatomy."

Crowley grumbled, "Give me the cards! Now!"

Aziraphale sank further into his chair as Crowley called to him, "Angel, a word, please?"

"I think it's time for me to go have a nice hot chocolate at Nina's... I've got so much to tell her."

Aziraphale, his cheeks now burning, hid his head in his hands as Crowley shouted, "You little..."

Only Muriel's laughter answered him, followed by rapid footsteps and the sound of the bookshop door opening and closing.

What he hadn't heard were Crowley's footsteps as he approached, so he flinched slightly as the demon's hands settled on his wrists. 

"Angel, don't hide from me, please." 

He tugged gently on the angel's wrists, pulling his hands away from his face and leaving him with no choice but to look at Crowley, who had crouched in front of him.

But instead of the annoyance he'd expected to read on the demon's face, Aziraphale was surprised to see a mixture of wonder and amusement.

Crowley asked softly, "When?"

The angel couldn't help but blush as he replied, "1941, after Will Goldstone's death, many things from his magic shop were sold or given away, and among them was an old fortune-telling tarot deck."

Crowley raised an eyebrow and said softly, "I know when, now I'd really like to know why."

Aziraphale shook his head before lowering it, but Crowley would have none of it and grabbed the angel's chin, forcing him to look at him before continuing just as gently, "Come on, Angel, it can't be anything bad."

Aziraphale replied, "Bad, no, but ridiculous, yes, absolutely. After we met in 1941, I missed you so much that I saw you everywhere. In everything I did, all the music, all the paintings, all the sculptures reminded me of you. So of course I saw you even in an old tarot deck when I looked at 

The Moon, The World, The Emperor, The Empress, The Star, The Universe - Crowley?"

This time it was Crowley who had hidden his face in the angel's lap.

"Angel, you can't confess something like that to me without warning."

Aziraphale put his hands in Crowley's hair and leaned over him, saying amusedly, "You're the one who wanted to know."

Crowley mumbled something Aziraphale didn't understand, so he took the demon's face between his hands and, raising his head, asked, "Again, my dear, I didn't understand."

Crowley repeated audibly this time, "Did you miss me that much?"

Aziraphale bluntly replied, "As much as you can miss someone when you've just discovered how much you love them.

Crowley just murmured, "Oh, Angel..."

He straightened up a bit to bring his face closer to the angel's and whispered, his voice slightly hoarse with emotion, "Every time I think I can't love you more, but every time you do or say something like this, it proves me wrong."

He pushed the angel into the back of the armchair, then straddled his lap and wrapped his arms around his neck before capturing Aziraphale's lips in a deep, lingering kiss.

A little later, it wasn't shortness of breath that forced them apart, but Muriel, whom they hadn't heard return, exclaiming, "Nina was right!"

Since the angel had surely seen them kiss, Crowley did not bother to get up from Aziraphale's lap and turned to Muriel, who had one of the cards in their hand, and asked, "And what did our dear barista queen of Whickber Street gossip say?"

Muriel, with a flash of cheek in their eyes, replied with a smile, "That since Aziraphale was head over heels for you, it was clear he'd drawn you both for the Lovers card."

They flipped the card over to the angel and the demon, and Crowley could see that there was no doubt that Nina was right; it was indeed him and Aziraphale on the card. He felt the angel press his face against his back and chuckled softly as Muriel continued, "She promised me a second free hot chocolate if I could check it out. So thank you!"

Muriel put the cards down and left as they had come.

Aziraphale muttered to Crowley's back, "We're going to be the subject of street gossip again."

Crowley turned to him and replied fondly, "Well, it's no secret that we love each other, the only thing they're going to know is that you love me so much that you designed a tarot deck entirely after me."

Aziraphale pouted and retorted, "You're not helping, here."

Crowley wrapped his arms around the angel's neck again and said softly, "I don't care what other people think. Angel, you've created the only fortune-telling tarot deck where love can be read on every card."

This time it was the demon who left the angel speechless. 

For he was right.

It was love that had driven Aziraphale to create this deck. 

From then on, he had nothing to be ashamed of, and everything to be proud of.

Proud to love Crowley.

This time it was he who captured his demon's lips to show him, even better than with cards, how much he loved him and how proud he was of it.

Made by the amazing @rins-love-wins

_________

Still not beta'd

Still not my native language

Still hoping you'll enjoy this story  🥰

Still thanking you for bearing with me 😝

Ineffable Growing Love series : (After season 2) 

Part 1 Story 1-99

Part 2 Story 100-?

Ineffable Husbands masterlist : here (Before season 2)

[verdemoun]

Dutch Motherfucking Van Der Linde in timewarp au.

@themodernpr0metheus because this is your fault be warned it's 1400+ words

so much to process. every single damned character in timewarp is affected by the very idea what became of Dutch Van Der Linde again let alone how they're meant to handle it when Dutch comes back. also gentle reminder that in the report the bureau wrote that John shot and killed Dutch so that's a whole other conflict they're going to have to deal with

also for the 1899 gang it's been 12 years. honestly for most of them it's been 12 years the only person who really interacted with dutch after 1899 was Micah and Dutch fucking shot him. Micah is still salty about it. look at that rat man you know he can hold a grudge.

12 years, no Dutch. Hosea's nearing his 70s, he has his wife and a house. Lenny, Jenny, Karen and Sean aren't kids anymore they're well into adulthood with legitimate jobs. Arthur and Charles are the new curious couple with Isaac their unruly son. Kieran doesn't jump or flinch anymore when people try to talk to him. Hosea really got everything he wanted - they're out of the gang, they're safe and happy.

Also Dutch isn't the only one coming back in a relatively short time period. They have to go all the way to Mexico to get Javier and Bill. They have to get John!! John, who was shot at the house Charles and Uncle helped him build for Abigail, who stared down a firing squad because it gave Abigail and Jack time to escape. They absolutely have to be there for John.

Hosea thinks long and hard. Dutch: who left Lenny to bleed out alone, who was willing to leave John to be executed in prison, and left Arthur to die alone, and abandoned Javier and Bill. Dutch: who formed another gang and killed innocents, used Muriel Scranton as a human shield before shooting her IT WOULD HAVE BEEN MORE OF A DISTRACTION TO LET HER GO ALIVE DUTCH. Is it everything he feared would happen to Dutch? Is it the Dutch he started to see glimpses of after Blackwater or did he know, deep down, this is what Dutch was always capable of?

What's the pettiest, bitchest thing he can do? Absolutely nothing. Hosea Matthews sits down with the gang trying to prepare for the 1911 returns and says that he is not going to get Dutch Van Der Linde. He is not going to see Dutch, talk to Dutch or help Dutch. Dutch is not welcome in his home or near his family and he doesn't expect nor want any of them to afford him the luxury of coming into their lives.

Annabelle is the one who goes to collect Dutch from the base of a cliff. The last time Annabelle saw Dutch, he was young and idealistic, and she had to read about Blackwater and everything that came after it right up to his death. She needs to see him so she can understand how someone she did genuinely love became something so evil that the people who did love him had to sit down and seriously ask themselves if he could be redeemed.

And Dutch Van Der Linde hits her with the 'you're as beautiful as the day I lost you'

She so nearly, nearly faulters. God as much as she hates him she wants to believe there is a reason, a sound, logical reason how Dutch abandoned so much of the ideals that made him Dutch. It's a tremendous burden only people who have loved Dutch know but deep down there's always a part of you that will love Dutch, as much as you try to kill it. She desperately wanted to believe she as the oldest, the most separated from Dutch, she was over it - but it's there. That awful demon is clawing its way back into her mind as she wonders if she can fix him, if she can save him and make him something recognizable again.

She knows damn well this is why Hosea knew he couldn't be the one to get Dutch.

Remembering why she has to be the one to get Dutch, to protect the gang she is now part of again and cares so much about from falling into the very real, intoxicating charm of Dutch, she holds her ground. Pulls away and tells him to get in the back seat of the car.

She takes him to a very nice, private, well-researched, pre-booked and thoroughly inspected in-patient mental health ward. the gang themselves have argued whether or not Dutch did the things he did because he was mentally ill or hit his head too many times or if he would've become a monster regardless but they do agree something is not right with Dutch and frankly 24 hour medical supervision is probably something he needs regardless because no one wants to just… bring him into the homes and lives they've tried to hard to build in modern era.

i promise, dutch is thriving. the d in dsm-5 might stand for dutch once the doctors are through with him but he's getting diagnosed with A lot.

they're paid to listen to him so he's going on so many rants and giving speeches and they're sitting there listening and nodding and asking questions (as they frantically write notes) and he's just basking in the attention. -> this. this is dutch's life

also dutch getting to finally admit to and work through his grief over what happened to the gang. he saw the old guard die. he lost so many people he cared about. he lost john. john left. john would've moved on completely after micah's death if not for the bureau. and the gang did lose faith in him, even before then. he felt it, he knew it. they did betray him (in his warped sense of betrayal)

also just dutch getting into intense philosophical and ethical debates with both his doctors and other patients. his doctors knowing they are absolutely not meant to engage when dutch is on a rant but it's just so fun debating with him

medication does help get Dutch back to something closer to 'old Dutch' he's still very grandiose but he's calmed down to the point he isn't reckless he can recognize when his behavior is crossing into outlandish

it's inevitable the gang do reach out to him and find it personally terrifying how close they can get to forgiving him before they remember all the shit they went through as a direct result of Dutch's actions

occasionally take him out on day trips but he is not getting to the point where he can be left to roam freely. Dutch always was and always will be a dangerous person when he can morally justify it to himself.

Dutch reuniting with Hosea hits so hard. hosea can only avoid him so long and dutch is old and tired and pulls hosea into a hug on the verge of tears and hosea cannot stop himself from hugging dutch back he still loves him god damnit he loves his wife but he will always love dutch and seeing dutch get help and try to become his old self again would hurt so much in such a positive way

his doctors (who have searched dutch van der linde and now think Dutch has delusional disorder and only thinks he is the Dutch Van Der Linde) do not think he has actually committed murder but the gang know he is very, very capable of murder

dutch is an avid triple mango vape enthusiast. no one knows how he keeps getting them.

he still thinks everything would be fine if they just went to tahiti

he is the #1 evelyn miller fan and thinks evelyn miller's death is further proof of his brilliance. during supervised computer time he will be on the evelyn miller subreddit and sometimes needs to be forcibly removed from the computer because he becomes so enraged at bad takes

the gang are all very protective of their kids being around dutch when he is there (including micah who does not want his stupid annoying pain in the ass grand-nephew kai to become Dutch-ified) but somehow they managed to raise well-rounded young people who just shrug and go 'lmao dutch is talking again'

dutch goes on volunteering excursions for habitat for humanity (under annabelle's supervision) and thoroughly enjoys it. he gradually becomes less 'fight the system for the good of all man' and more 'focus on the good i can do in one (second-chance) lifetime'. all i want is aged dutch in the modern version of his 1911 outfit kneeling in muck and smiling because he's Actually helping people again and he didn't know how much he missed it

[baenyth]

Bethany's Bizarre Miraculous Fic Prompt: Hawkmoth Gets Owned By Various Fictional Detectives

Basically I want to see Hawkmoth/Shadowmoth/Poopmoth/Monarch fail more since he kinda sorta won last season. And it's also crossovers where different fictional detectives (or just people on the Kira case square,) out Hawkmoth as Gabriel Agreste once and for all and hopefully do similar stuff such as outing Lila as a liar, dragging down other corrupt adults like Tomoe and Audrey, etc. and also just various funny moments with these characters interacting with the Miracucast. Here's some ideas I have from characters I know or are just interested in:

Lieutenant Columbo. I already made a post detailing it.

L from Death Note. I haven't watched Death Note, but if the memeposts are to be believed, he would outthink Gabriel Agreste at every turn. Probably ask him to show what's behind his ascot.

Shuichi Saihara from Danganronpa V3. Aside from him deducing Gabriel as Hawkmoth with the help from his friends, imagine the shenanigans. Gonta being ecstatic for the bug-themed heroes and how nicely they treat the purified butterflies. Kokichi takes down Lila by being Kokichi. Tenko is aware of the plot and tries to get Marigami together and make them kiss, alongside getting an Julerose kiss. Kiibo and Markov bond. So do Kaito and Rose. Kirumi somehow becomes mayor of Paris.

The Scooby Gang. In general I like the concept of silly guys managing to defeat Hawkmoth. They would accidentally find the secret elevator to Emile's pod and manage to use Ladybug and Chat Noir as bait for a trap and at the end, (since I like to imagine they're meddling adults at this point,) Gabriel Agreste grumbles that "at least it wasn't those meddling kids Ladybug and Chat Noir." They also take down the rest of Paris's elite because that's who the villains of Scooby Doo are.

The Duwang Gang. I think Kwamis and Miraculous heroes can see stands, but I'm unsure about akumatized people. Maybe. It turns out Crazy Diamond can heal people wounded by the Peacock but they pull the plug on Emile for the health of everyone. Rohan Kishibe uses Heaven's Door on the Miracukids and gets into accidental meta commentary upon discovering the full love square. He also uses Heaven's Door on Luka and it's sheet music. Maybe let Yukako join in too because of how much of a romancefest this show is and also because I like her and she had such a big presence in Great Days. Gabriel Agreste ends up with a similar fate to Yoshikage Kira, being surrounded by our heroes and helpless to do anything.

Sam and Max. I don't know much about them other that they're 1. funny guys, and 2. might just end up hitting Gabriel Agreste with their car.

Steve from Blue's Clues. Aside from the inherent humor of an educational kids show host taking down a terrorist supervillain, it also implies Blue knows who Hawkmoth is. Steve sits on the thinking chair to deduce Hawkmoth's identity and where he's hiding.

Courage the Cowardly Dog. Maybe Muriel and Eustace are dead and he was sent to live with Mylene and her dad. I feel like they'd get along well. Or maybe they're still alive and just visiting Paris and Muriel and Eustace are staying with Mylene and her dad. Either way I think this should take place around season 5 because the alliance ring works well with Courage's themes of paranoia over something supernatural putting your family at risk.

Agent P. Maybe Hawkmoth gets so desperate he gets Doctor Doofenshmirtz to build a wife-revive inator only for Emile to end up in another coma after accidentally pressing the self-destruct button on said inator. No one recognizes Agent P without his hat because this is Miraculous and people are dumb. Perry gets to beat the stuffing and tar out of Hawkmoth. Doof betrays him when he learns about how shitty of a dad he is. The miraculous heroes are allowed into OWCA on account of the animal theming.

The Smiling Friends. It starts off with a mission involving all of the main four helping Marinette smile and spirals down from there.

Not Batman. I've had enough Miraculous-Batman crossovers for one eternity.

[muriel-not-the-dim-one]

To The Angel I Made Friends With Who Has Pretty Shiny Eyes:

Hello. It’s Ulysses. I just wanted to say hi. It’s been a bit hard and I was wondering if maybe you’d like to have a tea or something or maybe talk. I am in not the best place and having company will prevent me from making bad decisions. If you don’t want to, I understand. I have watermelon.

Sincerely,

U.F. Dowell

@pissylittlebirdboy

Hello Ulysses!

Thank you for saying I have shiny eyes.✨ I had a very nice time talking with you.

I’m so glad that you thought of me when you wanted to be with a friend. I would love to have a cup of tea with you.

If you want to come to the bookshop, we could go to Nina’s, Give Me Coffee or Give Me Death.

I know there’s another coffee shop somewhere else, but I hear their coffee is pretty awful. Nina’s tea and coffee is exceptional, so are her Eccles cakes.

I’ve never eaten watermelon. Is it good? You can bring it if you want.

Come over anytime.

Your friend,

Muriel

[yrpalmalikamain]

One more thought I had is about Crowley and Aziraphale scaring their sides during the body swap. 'Enough, let him go', 'It's worse than we thought'. Crowley breathing fire at the archangels, Aziraphale splashing holy water at the demons. Their superiours were intimidated. So much that they called off their executions and let them go back to Earth.

In their eyes, Crowley and Aziraphale were invincible, immune to both deadly weapons Heaven and Hell had. If you think about this, it's pretty fuckin terryfing! 'If he could do this, what more he could do' indeed!

So my question is, where is that intimidation in season 2? 🙂 Where's their advantage?

Shax chats with Crowley, Beelzebub just pulls him to hell and says they didn't have any agreement. Even the lowest demons don't show any nervousness before him.

The archangels send Muriel without any training to observe Aziraphale, then come into his bookshop like nothing and threaten and interrogate him. Basically just repeating the 'boyfriend in dark shades' scene in s1. 'We'll keep a close eye on you.'

Why is literally nobody afraid of them?? Why does nobody respect them??? I'm just sad no one whatsoever mentioned this in the show. It would have been nice if someone gossiped about their failed executions, awed at their power. Or Aziraphale and Crowley could brag about it/bluff to defend themselves.

The only mention is Crowley's confession/death threat to Jim. And it didn't even fucking make sense. Why did he just... throw that out there?? This season 2 tries to paint Crowley as this protective hubby uwu, but that was literally so careless of him. WHAT DID HE EVEN CONFESS SWAPPING PLACES FOR?? Jim didn't get it, and if it was real Gabriel, they would be fucked. (Side note Jim being sorry does not count as redemption, it's not Gabriel)

On my first watch, I was kinda excited about this because I thought it definitely meant Crowley messed up and exposed their weakness. And Gabriel would use it against them. Like a Chekhov's gun. Well that gun didn't shoot at all did it 💀

It's like none of the things that happened in season 1 had any consequences or weight. It's all so...

[iliveforyouilongforyouvesuvia]

Now that the ask box is open again I had a thought: how did the M6 do with picture day as kids? If it adds a little more detail how do you think their pictures would look different from elementary school/middle school/ high school? I like to think that Muriel would have had a classic “excited but nervous” kindergarten photo but in the next several years after that the smile he gives isn’t as genuine/big as that first one since his parents death (damn I didn’t mean to add angst) but what are your thoughts?

The Arcana Mini-HCs: M6 as kids on picture day

Julian: always saw picture day as an opportunity for *drama* and would do everything in his power to turn it into a themed photoshoot. themes changed over time to match that year's drama performance

Asra: it's a nice break from boredom but they didn't care about how it turned out. is visibly distracted or bored in most of them early on - suddenly starts caring in highschool after meeting MC, subtly flexes

Nadia: always needed to outdo her older sisters, would show up trying to look as effortlessly perfect as possible. secretly had melt downs every night before through middle and highschool over acne

Muriel: didn't care at first, just look and gave a shy smile and walked away as a kid. as his social anxiety manifested, he became more and more of the "hide under a hoodie and scowl off to the side" type

Portia: so beyond done with her older brother's fussing that she'd go out of her way to be as normal with picture day as possible. unless there was someone to impress. then she'd break dress code to flex

Lucio: went from sheepish "I got scolded for talking in line two seconds ago" elementary pictures to "I'm striking the coolest pose I can think of in my flame-shaped sunglasses" highschool pictures