#having really uncomfortable discussions and challenging your world view

[bloodanddiscoballs]

Kim is a,fascist

are you stupid

[mortalityplays]

Only tangentially related to today's ask discourse but I was thinking about this- do you have advice on pushing more out of your comfort zone ie media? I feel like its really easy to say you like or want stuff thats making you uncomfortable or is less palatable to wide audiences etc etc but I have trouble going out of my way to actually experience things like that over more popcorn you know

a good way to start if you're intimidated is to look for curated recommendations close to your cultural comfort zone (I'm focusing on US/UK lists here but you can look for recommendations from museums, libraries, and national award bodies just about anywhere in the world). e.g. the BFI Sight & Sound list or the National Film Registry (for movies), Booker Prize or National Book Award winners for literature

Don't feel like you have to watch/read everything all at once, it's fine to skim for something that sounds particularly up your street and start there. It's also fine to jump right into something intimidating and find out what all the fuss is about! the absolute worst case scenario is that you're bored or underwhelmed and can pick something else next time.

a lot of my film knowledge comes from when I was at university. I discovered that there was an A/V library and viewing room on campus that I could use for free l, so I just looked through the catalogue and started picking out things I'd never seen that sounded interesting. every day between classes I'd go, pick a title, and spend a couple of hours giving it a try. I watched Blade Runner for the first time in a darkened basement booth with headphones on, and The Cabinet of Dr Caligari, and Wild Strawberries, and Persepolis, and countless other weird and wonderful things. sometimes I picked something incredibly boring or something that annoyed me, but I always came away feeling good that I'd expanded my knowledge of what was out there.

once you do start finding new things you like, a whole other path opens up to you. you can dig deeper into the work of one writer or director or actor, look up interviews and find out who inspired them. if you loved a specific book, see if the author mentioned any direct influences, or if critics compared it to something else you might enjoy. you get to start building these maps in your head and getting a sense for where different things fit, and it becomes easier and easier to hunt for hidden treasures.

finally! if you can find a group of friends (or even just one person) who is interested in taking this journey with you, start a club. take turns to pick something you want to explore, share the journey, and discuss it as you go along. keep sight of your purpose, whether that's to broaden your horizons beyond your home culture, take on more challenging works, or just be better informed. take it a step at a time, and learn to enjoy the experience of exploration even when you don't like something. figuring out why we hated Lady Chatterley's Lover is some of the most fun I've had with our book club yet. introducing friends to The Left Hand of Darkness and getting hype about it with them was just as good. love the process and you'll change your life.

[pintsizemama]

City Sidewalks

Day 30

Daddy Dave ‘verse

Welcome to the 2022 Christmas Writing Challenge!

Summary: You and Dave sneak away to NYC for New Year’s.

Pairings: Dave York x Reader (female), Dave York x You

Fandom: The Equalizer 2

Rating: Mature 18+ ONLY

Word Count: 689

Warnings: infidelity, Daddy/baby girl relationship, age gap…let me know if I missed anything!

A/N: This takes place after Christmas Carols. And this is obviously subjective. I happen to find NYC gorgeous and charming in the winter and at Christmas time…I’m sure there are many who would disagree. 🤣

Day 29 Day 31 Christmas Masterlist Series Masterlist Main Masterlist AO3 Join my taglist

You shivered as an ice cold breeze swept through you. Dave noticed and pulled you into his side to help keep you warm.

“It’s so cold,” you murmured.

“Yeah,” Dave agreed. “It’s not usually this cold…it’s going to be a harsh winter.” You shivered again. Your parents had returned from their trip late on Christmas Eve. Christmas morning was spent opening presents you couldn’t care less about. Your parents still believed if they bought you things, you’d be happy. Parents who gave a shit about you would make you happy.

After presents you had all gotten dressed and headed over to the York’s house for Christmas dinner. It was something you did every year, though this year was a bit more awkward. Well, every year was awkward due to the inappropriate crush you had on Dave for so long, but this year was especially uncomfortable now that you were having an affair with him. Dave had pulled you into the guest bathroom while everyone was distracted to kiss you, then invite you to New York for New Year’s Eve. You had to contain your squeal of excitement, and immediately agreed. So, after Christmas, you told your parents you were going to New York with some friends from school to celebrate the New Year. They barely even reacted and told you to have fun.

“I’m so glad we did this,” you said happily.

“Me too, baby girl,” Dave replied. “After getting you all to myself last weekend, I got addicted. Needed to get my next fix.” You laughed and hugged him closer. He had booked a swanky hotel overlooking Times Square. Neither of you wanted to venture out tomorrow on New Year’s Eve since it would be insanely crowded, so Dave made sure your hotel room had a perfect view of the ball drop. You had decided today was a good day to explore the city and look at all the Christmas decorations still on display in all the store windows.

“The city is so beautiful at Christmas,” you mused. It had snowed a few days before, so it was a literal winter wonderland.

“Ive always loved New York,” Dave said, “but it’s even better this time of the year.” You walked a bit further and then stopped in your tracks outside the Tiffany’s store. The window display had you mesmerized. It was breathtaking. It was a miniature scene of decorating a Christmas tree. The iconic Tiffany chandeliers surrounded it. A gorgeous solitaire engagement ring sat on a small chair in front of the tree. You couldn’t take your eyes off it. Dave pressed himself up against your back and wrapped his arms around your waist. He snuggled his head next to yours to look at the display.

“One day,” he said softly, “when I can do it safely, I’m going to divorce Carol and put that ring on your finger, baby girl.” You sucked in your breath. Dave had never really discussed a future with you before.

“Really?” You whispered.

“Yeah,” he nodded. “I told you. love you. You’re mine, baby girl, and one day the whole world will know it.” You turned in his arms.

“I love you too,” you whispered. He kissed you sweetly.

“Let’s go in,” he decided.

“Now?” You asked, pulling back in surprise.

“Yeah,” he said with a nod. “I’m buying you that ring tonight.”

“Dave!” You gasped.

“I’m serious,” he said in a low voice. “You’re mine. Forever. I want that ring in my possession to prove to you I mean it.” You blinked away tears.

“I never thought you’d want that with me,” you said in a small voice.

“I want everything with you,” he said simply. “Marriage, a house, kids, a future. I just have to keep playing this part until it’s safe for me to make the changes I need to…you know my work is dangerous.” You nodded. “I won’t risk you. I have to make sure it’s safe before we start our future.”

“I understand,” you said immediately. “I can wait, Daddy.” He smiled.

“That’s my good girl,” he murmured. “Now let’s go buy you a ring.”

Day 31

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[mushroom-for-art]

Me writing the most self indulgent shit ever known to mankind lmao, also known as putting May through the pain suffering just because but this time it's Digimon, featuring our favourite horrid REDACTED belonging to @oogaboogaspookyman, he's here to be a cunt really, this is pretty dialogue heavy as lmao its basically just him bullying the shit out of her at her weakest point and rambling about things that would've happened previously in the time line and discussing May's troubled relationship post digimon time lmao, again self indulgent I just had these really specific scenes and gotta get them out lmao

Corruption

Digital energy crackled and pixelated from the unusual vortex in front of them, the crowd hushed and murmured in terror as something from within the blackness pushed forwards through into their world. May put herself at the front of the group shielding her siblings from view the best she could as Lopmon stood by her feet, ears spread to look more intimidating. Dripping dark energy pushed from the portal as sparks of red lightning cracked and whipped around shorting nearby electrical appliances as an unfortunately, familiar grinning maws greeted them, it didn't even try to look humanoid as a mouth closed and opened into a black eye with a frantic white pupil. The pupil bounced around scanning over the horrified faces of the people as its many mouths pulled into delighted grins with teeth large and sharp, a deep echoing laugh coming from each mouth and even the visible eye as it surveyed the terror gladly eating it up before its eye fell upon the three siblings narrowing to a pinpoint before blowing wide in entertainment and excitement.

"How, small and pitiful you all look, my even tinier than you were before."

It's voice mocked from its eyeball, still laughing from its mouths, the eye blinked into a mouth as other mouths closed and opened into eyes scanning around in an erratic manner, though more so to make them uncomfortable, this beast didn't know fear.

"I bet I could splatter you like insects right now, decorate your disease ridden world with your bright gorgeous blood."

"Then why don't you, you Prick." May's voice was cold and sharp as she glared taking a challenging step forward, "oh yea I know why, because you can't interact with this world, your data is too much and you can't fully come through so you just sit there and taunt trying to make us scared, trying to terrify people while you plot a way into this world. It didn't work last time though did it? And I'm not going to fucking let you try again." An eye fell upon her watching her as its other mouths twisted and contorted out of shape.

"Then why don't you come and stop me?"

It asked simply as it started to pull backwards into the portal, the pavement splitting from the ground beginning to float as the portal moved awkwardly into the sky, the slabs of pavement swirling around it as the creature grinned at them.

"Well, digidestine? Can you stop me this time? Or have you already lost too much?"

As its form disappeared, May could only grit her teeth as Lopmon looked up at her for guidance.

"We can't go through that portal May, times synced now in the digital world, we'll lose real time here. Let some other people deal with it, we can't be the digidestine anymore." Her sister spoke behind her and May looked at in confusion and disbelief at what she was hearing, even Salmon looked uncomfortable at the idea they weren't going to do something nuzzling into her sisters leg, May opened her mouth to argue that there was no one else they'd met no other younger digidestine.

"No." Matts voice snapped, "look you might have gotten out of that ordeal fine 10 years ago, but some of us did lose too fucking much!" His voice was a snarl as he moved to touch where his lower arm had been removed from his body, Labramon whimpered against Matt as he crouched on the floor, guilt and shame washing through May making her heart hurt. "You might not be so lucky next time, I wasn't." His words stabbed into her as she looked at him, her sister nodded a bit awkwardly adding.

"We got really banged up last time, I mean, you've seen the scars I got, you've seen what happened to Matt, you got off easy but you're not indestructible." May's hands clenched into fists, their words becoming poisoned jabs, snide hateful remarks for years and years, snipping snapping biting into her over and over as her eyes became wet with frustration.

"Fine. I wasn't even going to fucking ask you to come. I'll fucking deal with this myself." She turned walking away from them quickly, "let the weakest link smash that cunts face in!" Her voice a frustrated yell as she leapt onto a floating pave slab with Lopmon leaping up behind her following.

"May don't be fucking stupid for once in your life!" Her sisters words fell on deaf ears as she leapt and flipped up the platforms with acrobatic precision, ignoring her sister cussing her out insulting her, as she got closer to the portal the air felt static like as Lopmon flew up besides her, digital energy engulfed them both as they disappeared through the dark of the portal.

The local advertising screens came to life displaying the digital island they'd found themselves upon years ago as Dianamon landed gracefully but with force. She walked with a dangerous tremor in her step, "Where are you?! Come out you coward. Let's end this!" May and Lopmons voice overlapped creating an almost new voice as they scowled around looking for the black ink beast. She heard him laughing before she saw him, barely dodging a large black spike that ripped through the ground and would have went right through her.

"My my, all on your own? No siblings to back you up? No lover? Oh yes I forgot, he replaced you didn't he?"

She slashed at him with her moon sickle slicing through the black inky body as the ink fell to the ground with a splat before crawling away to a larger mass of blackness as the creature took form again, still inhuman with eyes and teeth grinning at her. She lunged at him again swinging and striking with her weapon, retreating to draw back her bow and shoot arrows through his inky substance splatting it off and watching it disintegrate. She wasn't going to amuse his games. Despite her attacking he seemed pleased simply reforming lost mass to sustain himself as he dodged or allowed her to slash his form just to pull himself up somewhere else.

"I suppose it does make sense. I mean, you always held them together, you were the link in their chain that strengthened them and how do they respond to that?"

He laughed a wicked laugh as a morphed pale form of her sister pulled through the black slime walking towards her with hollow black eyes. When it spoke it used her voice, it sounded distant like a recording rather than the vocal mimicry it did for its usual voice.

"Why do you always ruin things for me?! You're so fucking selfish you know why are you even in this fucking contest?! You just want to show me up! And are you happy?! I only came second because you fucked with my brain! Why the fuck would you go 'best of luck sis', don't you have any idea how much fucking pressure that puts on me to perform well when I know you're just going to do better?! You're such a shitty person sometimes May, I wish you'd fucking disappear sometimes!!"

Her sisters voice screamed at her even if it felt distant, May leapt back as the fake hollow version of her sister collapsed into black sludge as his voice laughed mockingly before tutting.

"Aw, now that really wasn't very kind."

It doubled over on itself laughing as its mouths snapped with teeth and its eyes rolled around.

"I mean, she was right, you were always better at the gymnast stuff. That must put an awful lot of pressure on her, funny though, you never ever won, not even third."

It straightened to look at her twisting it's head as it leant forward, it's body turned to sludge by another swing of the moon blade but that didn't stop it talking.

"Kind of stupid of her not to notice, why did you never tell her huh? Why did you ruin your own performances with rookie mistakes on purpose to receive worse points when she hated you for even being there? For daring exist?"

She gripped her weapon tightly, not giving it the satisfaction of an answer as it cackled dark ink encircling her and grabbing at her ankles before she slashed it away and flew up to avoid his mocking grabs.

"Oh that's right, because you loved her or something. When was the last time she was kind to you May? When was the last time you felt loved by your sister and not just shame and hatred?"

Dianamon shook her head to rid his voice from her ears, she couldn't afford to think of individual components right now, she was Dianamon now, she can be May later, she couldn't risk dedigivolving and losing her advantage. It seemed to sense her struggling shooting up black tendrils that slammed her back into the ground with a sickening crunch of something and a horrid gasp of pain from the celestial Digimon as she forced herself to her feet before the ink tried to consume her.

"You really struggle and fight so much for people that seem to loathe you, most of the world doesn't know you exist and yet here you are fighting to try to save it, but when has the world ever done anything for you? I know none of you received acknowledgement for what happened ten years ago, doesn't that make your blood boil in rage? That you risked life and well, your brothers limb and all you got was the terror and fear screaming, crying for help as you cradled your unconscious brother as his arm bled new blood."

Its mouth quirked into a wicked smile as her expression darkened knowing it had touched a nerve. She slashed and attacked with everything she had yelling in anger and pain trying to destroy him as his corrupted data mass remained consistent allowing flecks to crumble away to make a form to be slashed to keep her eye to exhaust her as it laughed at her torment. From the ink a pale Matt formed looking at her with bleeding black eyes as it too approached her.

"Look you might have gotten out of that ordeal fine 10 years ago, but some of us did lose too fucking much!"

His voice was distant like a recording once more as it parroted back things that had been said. More and more words came from its blackened mouth phrases that she'd heard throughout the years since coming back, passive aggressive 'good for you's, snarly snapping remarks, and things she hadn't heard, spiteful bitter whispers of 'why me', a cold harsh 'it should have been her,' that made her throat go dry and heart almost clench as though grabbed and crushed, Dianamon couldn't afford to cry and yet her eyes watered and her grip on her weapon trembled.

Once more the pale clone copy collapsed back into the blackness as it taunted and laughed.

"What a cruel thing to say! He said it often as well, oh how he wished you had suffered instead of him, he thinks it's unfair, unjust, that he didn't deserve it, how funny he believes that you in turn did deserve it. Its quite funny actually! I suppose it's because you never told him the full truth did you? I mean, you wouldn't have dared he lost his arm. Who are you to tell him it was going to be worse? And that you stopped it being worse like some savior when he was going through such a horrible affair, you would've looked like quite the dick, I can understand why you kept it to yourself."

Dianamons made more empty slashes at her tormentor, snarling "JUST SHUT UP AND DIE! I'LL DESTROY US BOTH IF IT STOPS YOU FUCKING TALKING!!" But it only cackled at her swirling and forming eyes and taunting mouths as it without her knowledge began to destroy the data around them, disintegrating trees and rocks leveling the area slowly.

"How fittingly self-destructive. You always did value others more than yourself."

Another hollow pale form, this time herself, or well the form of May, Dianamon struggled to maintain its own identity as the voice of May parroted from the past spoke.

"Please god don't hurt him! He's my baby brother, please you can take anything from me, humans, we have all kinds of interesting organs! Yea yea, I'll trade you, you could have my kidney! And you give him back yes? Please, I am begging you please take from me don't hurt him my skin, my hair, my eyes, my lungs Fuck you could take my heart kill me right now just just please, please let him go, please, he means too much to me I will do anything just don't please don't take him from me please"

Dianamons eyes watered uncomfortably at sickening memories from the past, her brother unconscious as an Archnemon regards him for experimentation for devouring planning to hack him apart and then dissolve his flesh. The hollow stared forward and through her before screaming horribly as it was cut open by nothing, Dianamon tearing her eyes away cringing and exhaling a shaky breath through her nose at they remembered the sensation of large hands plunging into her guts and pulling out what it wanted, the carving of her organs and the teeth, the horrid teeth that sank into her wound ripping her flesh away from her body and the sickening enjoyment the Archnemon had taken from the experience, helplessly caught in the creature web, and then the guilt and horror as it took a cleavor and-

Dark tendrils slammed her chest sending her flying backwards hitting the ground and bouncing slightly as she cried out her weapon flying from her hands and disintegrating before it hit the ground as she weakly hauled herself into a kneel.

"That was a dirty move." She snapped, but her component's were struggling, tears ran out of one eye at the guilt of not being able to stop the twisted digimon from taking her brothers arm. It only laughed at her in enjoyment feeling her terror, guilt and pain with great satisfaction. She pulled herself to stand but her body was struggling, the phantom pains still ripping away at her body as she shuddered, she'd never told anyone about what happened, not the truth at least. Dianamon shook her head, May had never told anyone but she was not May right now.

Black ink shot out in the form of a large hand grabbing her body and began to squeeze before she could even move, her armor crushing uncomfortably into her body as the entity pulled itself up out the ink and took on a painfully familiar form, it copied the face and body of, someone May once cared deeply for, another crush from the hand engulfing her body and Dianamon faded. Lopmon fell to the ground with a weak groan as May remained crushed in the grip.

"Lopmon run!" May attempted to struggle as the tired rookie pushed itself to stand stumbling before the ink wrapped around its body dragging the bunny-like digimon by its ankles to the twisted form of May's old crush. They tried to attack, opening their mouth weakly to summon energy before the pale humanoid grabbed its mouth shut harshly with a snarl.

"Behave little one, would be a shame to destroy something that could be of use to me. Besides, i'll kill your human if you're a brat."

Lopmon whimpered but couldn't fight, too injured and tired from being Dianamon, and May was weakening too. It looked over at her and slowly the large hand pulled down into the earth releasing and leaving her standing though with difficulty she swayed and gave a weak glare as it scoffed at her before it was right in front of her with astonishing speeds it's pale hands grabbing her face, Lopmon tossed aside, as it arched over her threateningly, grinning with too many teeth at the wonderful fear from her.

"You've always intrigued me, such fight such love and for what?"

It's grip tightened threateningly on her face as she tried to pull away and shake her head sinking in claws to draw blood making her still as Lopmon was restrained in dark inky tendrils, the surroundings barren now save for his corrupting black ink.

"Don't make me pop out your eyeballs~"

It's tone faked sweetness as his thumbs pressed under her eyes threateningly.

"It's a shame he gave you up the way he did, choosing another woman while you were kept apart by distance, it's like everything you went through meant nothing to him, like he didn't care about the bantering you shared, the stories the company, do you think he thought of you as much as you him? It must hurt knowing you don't matter so much to someone, that they can replace you just like that."

A finger snapped for emphasis on another arm before it disappeared, his tone was quieter than usual it was almost sympathetic comforting as her eyes began to water against her control, tears rolling down her cheeks as she struggled to breathe, all the repressed feelings all the times she made herself be strong crashing down on her so now she was weak, bubbling pathetically under her worst enemies watching gaze as she cried against her control. She was unloved and despised, she wasn't enough for the people she cared deeply about and she couldn't stop him she couldn't protect them she couldn't save the world from his plans to destroy it and now he was going to kill her, and the worst part was she was alone. The people she loved weren't coming to save her. Her breathing choked as her knees felt weak. She wanted to rip his hands from her face to just collapse and cry to pull her eyes away but he held her firm and her eyes were locked to his.

"Sweet little thing, all alone and unloved. You tried so hard to be the best you could be and to be good enough, you sacrificed so much of yourself, didn't you?"

She choked a breath, her head nodding against her control as her knees gave out and desperately grabbing at his arms fearing that she would fall and he would simply pull and rip her head from her body, but the tug never came, his hands didn't move as she gripped to him weakly her body slightly limp as his thumbs wiped against her cheeks in a way that was almost soothing if she wasn't so terrified for why he was acting this way, she was so so tired, every moment her energy seemed to be sapped. Was this his plan? Cradle her till she expired, taking her life energy? Maybe he was going to take her body upon her last breath turning her into a puppet to get to the real world. She could only fear more at every passing second.

She could feel the ink starting to crawl up her body, oh god he was going to turn her into a flesh puppet for his data. She didn't even have the energy to struggle.

"You're so tired aren't you? So tired of not being enough for some people, tired of hurting in silence, tired of thinking, tired of existing, tired of hurting because of other people. You just want to stop thinking don't you? Stop worrying, stop hurting. I can make all that go away, empty your mind of all that aching all that anguish, I wouldn't hurt you like he would. "

As she stared up at him his face began to slowly slide off and melt almost before his face fell and splattered black flesh and liquid right onto her face, she gasped in horror choking on the foul ink as it slid down her throat and up her nose and crawled into her eyes, she tries to struggle but her body couldn't move wanting to cough up the black corruption but only choking further as he threw his body backwards to howl in laughter removing his hands from her face as she collapsed from choking and the blackness already wrapped around her legs. He watched her spluttering on the floor on her back, black liquid bubbling up out her mouth as she choked and her eyes turned black, the corruption engulfed her pulling her down into itself with only a few bubbles as the last of her breath was taken. The creature grinned as its form became twisted once more, despising the humanoid guise it needed to use.

He hadn't been lying, he had always been intrigued by that one, she was just so corruptible, pushed to the edge of darkness by those around her every day, they really did all the hard work for him. Once he was through with her well he could have his fun before disposing of the last of the filth known as humanity, but until then he now held a very powerful ace, a Kelpymon and a digidestine corrupt to his whim. It glanced over to a patch of pixelated space, knowing the human world could see him and could only grin as the fear, they were right to be afraid of him. He slashed his claw through it ending the connection, laughing to himself, he shouldn't have been surprised by the lack of help really, May was the link that strengthened the chain, with her gone well all that was left was the coward and the clown, as for his human guise well he had his own better life now, why would he risk it. What a blight on this world. Selfish creatures. Horrid creatures. Oh well. They'll all get what they deserve.

[skadren]

I keep seeing a bunch of live and let go, boundaries are personal and not moral stances posts about writing and i largely agree ppl should be able to explore what they want in fic but also. Is there a way to balance or talk about "hi um white author so you kinda reinvented racism/blood eugenics and unilaterally present sex work as inherently degrading and etc etc etc for Shipping Angst Drama fodder, when the text is like. None of that" in fandom or even just in like. A server community. Maybe I'm a bit sensitive bc i feel constructed/projected misery is kind of tacky to begin with and i wouldn't do it with a complete stranger but idk my guy. I don't want to alienate myself but it's weird to go completely uncritical here

i think there are a couple items you need to check off the list before you can go "yes talking to internet stranger #37461239 about a highly sensitive topic is a good idea"

is it tagged appropriately? if it's tagged trust me the writer knows. they have probably gotten way more unsolicited feedback than they would really like

is the portrayal you're concerned about reinforcing an unhealthy or discriminatory predominant social narrative? if it is and you think the writer is genuinely unaware, then yeah, it might be worth bringing up. the emphasis here is on predominant please i am begging on my hands and knees

will this result in a productive conversation? if the intent behind this is to get people to reconsider, it isn't helping anyone if you know it will just lead to them doubling down and doing it even worse. at that point you're only making a performative statement to validate your own stance

if it really is bothering you that much, is there a compelling reason why you can't just block and move on? it isn't your responsibility nor is it feasible to fix how a fandom is doing things, especially if it's a group of people you don't really know. your own mental health always comes first, and a bit of salty venting in private with your friends never hurts anyone

if it IS a friend or acquaintance who is doing this and you think they would be open to discussing it with nuance, then you can probably bring it up. if that person has a basic level of consideration and respect for you it tends to go well, but i've also seen people double down because they already know there's something wrong with their attitudes but get mad at you for wanting them to change, and then it creates a whole ton of drama and people get hurt and it's not pretty. so. ymmv

ultimately, someone's views on racism or sex work or whatever is reflective of a broader social norm, and fandom is not the best space to try to fix that through confrontation-- it's usually someone's "safe space" where they want to retreat from the world, not come face-to-face with any sort of personal reckonings. do i think it's a mark of privilege that some people have the luxury of ignoring these issues when they "just want to have fun"? yes, but again, this is about being able to have productive discussion, not about what's "fair". unfortunately.

my two cents: if you're in a server community or some other space that makes you uncomfortable there's really nothing wrong with going "hey, we have fundamentally different standards when it comes to [x], and i don't think i want to be here" and moving on. the best way to challenge these things is quite literally to make your own food. there's a much better chance of the people you're worried about coming across it and realizing they like it than magically being able to argue them down with well-placed logic and reasonable points or whatever

EDIT: OH ALSO IM STUPID if you mean talking about it in general. not naming writer names but trends in the fandom. yes absolutely-- not in a public space like social media but definitely find a group of people who you trust who you can talk about these things with!! it is good and healthy. just make sure it isn't just a discord server open to the public or smth tho so you personally know and trust everyone who can see it (and you don't accidentally shit talk someone who is in that space lmao)

[pastorsperspective]

That's What This World Needs

This week’s sermon was titled: Roots: Social Holiness and the text was from Matthew 26:31-46. If you missed it, you are in good company! We had a live stream issue that prevented our online congregation from joining in the worship. As such, I will admit that I didn’t get to hear the sermon myself; but I did get to read the original written copy. I hope I didn’t miss any truly interesting or embarrassing anecdotes!

My first reaction as I began to read the sermon was about the phrase, ‘Social Holiness’. I’ve never heard of this, what does it mean? To be holy in social situations, to always appear holy to others? I’m confused. How do you define social holiness?

Social holiness is our ability to understand God more and grow in grace through social interactions and involvement.

I have to admit that I have a very introverted nature and social interactions are extremely hard for me sometimes. I’m not uncomfortable because people are different from me or hold different views; I’m uncomfortable because there are people. In your example of sleeping disciples, you mentioned that you would get fed up and probably just want to tell them to go to bed. I struggle with this as well. How do we keep from dismissing people who seem to continually ‘get in the way’ and leave us feeling like we should just do everything ourselves?

This is the challenge of life, isn’t it? To constantly be offering new chances and new opportunities, even in the midst of disappointment. I find Jesus reminding and cautioning us in this text to remember first our own humanity and limitations before we go simply writing off or dismissing others for theirs. When left to ourselves we get a very closed view of things, but when we allow others into our lives God moves in a myriad of more ways.

You mentioned that Wesley feared we would become a country club, only inviting in OUR members and never welcoming in others. I know I have experienced this on multiple occasions. Have you ever experienced this?

Sure! In some ways the church is guilty of this, but at the same time there are so many people who give me such great hope as they push against this. When I think about John Wesley, and above all, Jesus Christ; I see one very clear consistency and that is radical inclusivity. Jesus was radically inclusive. John Wesley was radically inclusive. I believe we are called to be radically inclusive. The day we get so lost in being radically inclusive that we look up and go, “where in the world did all of these different people come from? Look at how diverse we all are!” That’s the day we know we’re really getting at living out our gospel calling. A church full of all white, similar minded, same economical level, similarly political group of people is not my understanding of the church. A misfit, mismatched group of opposites and a spectrum of colors, races, ethnicities, political affiliations, theological views, sexual identities, and backgrounds all coming together in love of Christ and love of neighbor. Now, that’s my understanding of the Church!

So often we do hear similar themes being preached, but we don’t see them being practiced. I have expressed much of what you shared on several occasions with my husband. We have shared discussions of both how good it is to see people who are different enter the church service and then how terrible it is when you witness them being run off. How do people remain welcoming and love on their neighbors in instances where they may be very uncomfortable?

I have two thoughts: 1) If your faith is comfortable, are you really living it to the fullest? This is what I ask myself. I am constantly trying to push myself and try new things and become comfortable with being uncomfortable. 2) I have always found that finding our common areas of passion can be the very best way to be inclusive. For instance; you love to bake. Talk with others who bake and be invitational that way. You love music. Find music lovers and be invitational in that world, etc…

Common ground is a very powerful bonding agent, I think. It helps people who ordinarily wouldn’t spend time together to share moments of pure joy as they discuss or engage in something that both of them love. Books, movies, music, food, sports… All of these things (and so many others) are ways to connect on a more surface level so that we can then connect, hopefully, on a deeper, more spiritual level. Sometimes people just can’t see past their differences in order to get to that point. Your description of church as you understand it, it reminds me of a song. (There’s a shock!) One of the verses says this:

What this world needs Is for us to care more about the inside than the outside Have we become so blind that we can’t see God’s gotta change her heart before he changes her shirt What this world needs Is for us to stop hiding behind our relevance Blending in so well that people can’t see the difference And it’s the difference that sets the world free

If contemporary Christian music doesn’t offend you, you can listen to the whole song, What This World Needs by Casting Crowns here: https://youtu.be/NuGaEZYfAwc

As always, see you next week for another sermon dissection! Have a blessed week!

Don't forget to love your neighbor!

[wowzerwyrm]

Maybe it’s just me, but I feel like there’s a huge back and forth that happens on tumblr (and other sites) about how good/bad it is to block and stop interacting with people. It’s somewhat frustrating, because it seems to sort of encompass the issue I have with discourse and communication in general.

And that is the fact that everyone treats it as if there’s no nuance.

Yes, blocking and not talking to people when you don’t have the time or mental effort can be good for your health. It’s not always healthy to throw yourself at a conversation that doesn’t seem like it’s going anywhere.

But at the same time, I really do think it’s important to listen and speak to others who have different views from yours. Even and especially views that might seem particularly stressful or frightening or evil.

One, because if the other person is wrong and their views or beliefs are harming themselves or others, the only way that they’ll ever even have a chance to figure that out is by hearing different ideas from different people. This is, admittedly, really hard to do, since people don’t like being wrong or misinformed. And with most strangers you meet on the internet, it simply won’t be possible. But my point is that we are part of a society, and isolating yourself from other parts of it won’t actually make your section any better, especially if you’re in a minority.

And second, possibly the MOST important reason to listen to and communicate with topics and people that make you uncomfortable or stressed out is that you might be wrong. Our brains often try to protect ourselves from things that we feel might hurt us, but we don’t always know what is actually healthy or helpful or not until we’ve taken the time to push past that stress and fear and take an honest look at the views expressed to us.

That doesn’t mean, of course, that every view that doesn’t match your own is correct. Don’t abandon your beliefs easily. But don’t let them stand on their own without challenging them often. It’s scary and frustrating in many ways, but sometimes you might find yourself on the wrong side of a particularly distasteful argument, and unless you’re prepared to listen instead of avoiding it, you can never change your views on the matter.

I view blocking people as a coping mechanism, mostly. And there’s nothing wrong with that! The world is big, there’s lots to do and not enough time to do them all, and sometimes we’re just not ready to go through an intense philosophical discussion. And sometimes the person we’re talking to won’t be discussing it honestly or openly, and neither of you are going to get anything out of it but angry.

But it’s also important to do your best to give yourself the ability to work around that, and sometimes listen to the other side and speak up with your own ideas.

[saltypiss]

I feel like as a default, people that have depression are open to suicidal jokes and discussions because they're just used to a mental torment few will deal with and need the release and understanding from others to get by. Humor is a good way to gage the amount of understanding one will get in a discussion. A good way to lift your and other's spirits through comradery.

And as a default, non-depressed/non-experienced people want to protect the depressed and mentally ill, and see jokes about suicide as pushing depressed people further, or making fun of those that committed to it.

The reality is always nuanced, situation and time matters. Make the joke at the right time, call it out at the right time.

But don't infantilize depressed or suicidal people. They can make jokes and don't need you to helicopter parent them. Their lives are hell enough as it is, let them laugh, let them numb some of their pain. Let them verbiate their own pain to you. Don't punish someone for a twitch from their pain.

If you're uncomfortable around those jokes for reasons pertaining to purity, then challenge yourself more. The depressed person earned their right to laugh, more than you have a right to punish them.

Simply walk away til you're ready to handle it. But expecting people experienced and rugged to be as infantile and unexperienced as you is simply embarrassing and isn't going to happen.

I get this argument is always discussed from an edgelord's perspective, I get it, the idiots are loudest, but that doesn't discredit the point in any measureable degree.

The infantilizing of depressed people by people without depression, and those with depression viewing this topic via the infantilized lens instead of their own tried and true, mental anguish proven and earned, right to humor, is solely damaging.

Listen, if you're making suicidal jokes and are depressed, I get you, your feelings are valid, communicate til you find someone who will listen. Don't take puritan culture as something being wrong with your personality or self, it is and has always been, on them, for failing to assist people like you and choosing to double down on that. To deny mental health, to deny aid to you. That is primarily what puritan culture does. They keep you depressed and unable to afford or get assistance, and are mad you're still around and depressed. Fuck them.

Otherwise, why punish a depressed person for a personally involved joke? Simply put, they're offended at the prospect that their life isn't reflective of everyone else's. They're mad you could even be depressed in such a wonderful world they can afford but you won't.

The priviliged neurotypical response to other's suffering and vocalizing of, is punishment. Make your jokes. Laugh with yourself. Laugh at your situation. If it just makes you laugh, that's all that matters. The person who can help most outside of medically, is yourself and friends. Don't listen to puritan culture. Puritan culture is why getting help is so difficult, why communicating is so difficult, why life is so difficult. Nobody lives to these impossible standards, not even them.

You are valid. Your feelings are valid. What you're trying to communicate is valid. You matter.

Don't cause harm, that's all anyone in this world has to do, and from my perspective, the depressed cause the most change and growth, while unexperienced puritans go out of their way to ignore reality to continue living in their bubble.

Yes I know this sounds edgelordy, I'm drunk, I really just suck at communicating this opinion. The more I try, the better I'll get. That's this whole blog's purpose is a way for me to look back and re-assess. Hell I used to be anti-feminist, now I just hate Tumblites who pretend to be feminist. It just takes time, and a want to improve. I know those in puritan cultures can grow, but you can only wait til shit hits the fan before they start even considering other people. Instead of hitting my head against a brick wall of stupid, I'd rather do my damndest even if poorly, to communicate this point I'm not entirely sure of in it's wording, to help people in the future.

Can't fix stupid, gotta wait for something to smack the TV so the signal get's back to normal. But you can help people to understand themselves and others better, the one's willing to grow that is.

[mafaldaknows]

I think you've watched/are aware of Luca. On Tumblr I see most people agree on the queer allegory. But beyond Tumblr, people are outraged that some people want to see it that way. I mean, the crew did say that they didn't intend to add any queer elements, but it's so much there and we can make our own interpretation of it. I understand that some would wanna watch a simple movie about friendship. What I don't understand is them shading others for seeing something else in there. Their argument is that we're sexualizing a kid's movie! Like, come on! If we find parallels between their story and a queer kid's struggle, doesn't mean we're sexualizing them. Sexual orientation and sex, aren't the same thing. We can discuss the LGBTQ community without it being problematic for children. No wonder Cmbyn receives so much flak! If anything, this reassures me that perceiving cmbyn the way I do is my choice and nobody can shade me for it. What are your views on all this?

Hello, Anon:

I watched Luca (2021) last night and was immediately struck by the similarities between Luca Paguro and Alberto Scafaro in this delightful movie and Elio Perlman and Oliver in Call Me By Your Name (2017) especially between Luca and Elio, right down to their insouciant curl (“Charlotte”), freckles, smile, slender frame, expressive eyes, and adorable bunny-like feet. I could not help but see it.

The fact that Jack Dylan Grazer, who plays Alberto, is one degree of separation from TheHolyTrinity™️ of CMBYN is also not lost on me.

I mean... how could I NOT see it?

This is obviously a movie marketed to children, but, imho, it shares with CMBYN the elements of challenging one’s boundaries in discovering one’s identity, the search for acceptance, and the blossoming of a beautiful friendship, which aren’t inherently sexual, in and of themselves. But many people who are squeamish on the topic of sex in the first place will shut down any and all discussions about sexual orientation, even if it is about identity, not sex, especially as it pertains to children, who are, first and foremost, human beings, and as such, are entitled to their own thoughts about their own identities. A lot of people view children as incapable of knowing themselves, and that’s the problem.

There’s an inherent disrespect in the innate ability of children to understand what’s right and good in the world and in themselves, in being uncomfortable with the idea that children are whole human beings, in every aspect, and yes, even as it pertains to their identity and sexuality. It’s part of being human.

Some people are unable to separate the mechanics of sex with the philosophy of identity, as it pertains to sexuality. They believe that sex is bad, and therefore, must never be discussed in any context. Ironically, they’re often the very same people who can sexualize even the most wholesome things, even other people’s personal ideas and opinions that have nothing to do with the act of sex at all.

A queer kid’s struggle with sexual orientation has nothing to do with sex, and everything to do with having to live in a world that makes them feel like they need to hide who they really are in order to be acceptable to the world. This movie is precisely about love and acceptance, and the courage to love someone exactly as they are, exactly as you are, with courageous vulnerability and fearlessness, even at great risk of pain and personal sacrifice. I can absolutely see how someone in need of love and acceptance for exactly who they are can identify with this movie. It’s essentially Professor Perlman’s monologue, but with adorable sea monsters. That’s how I see it: The immeasurable gift we get from the experience of genuine love is worth the pain we might suffer through to find it.

If someone sees a problem with other people using their own personal perspectives to form their own ideas and interpretations of a charming Pixar movie about love and acceptance, then they are the cause of their own problem. No one should shade anyone for having their own harmless positive thoughts about a beautiful movie.

Thanks for your question. 😊💗🦑🐠

[lilacsupernova]

Recently read Who Cooked the Last Supper? and this quote really stuck with me:

"In the course of history, to be a woman had been a sin against nature and a crime against God. Now it has become an ideological deviance in the bargain. Under this system, the woman who dared to question the ideology by which she was judged would find herself among the "daughters of the Devil" whom the men of God, or the God of men, had determined to destroy. For the woman who argued, questioned, challenged, was not a woman. Woman was designed by nature to please and complement man, to love and serve her lord and master. After all, what else are women for?" (Rosalind Miles, p. 284, bolding mine)

Things haven't changed for so many women around the world still subject to religious rule under men. However, a new religion (or cult) has sprung up and spread alarmingly quickly, with a particularly strong hold in more secular societies: trangenderism.

The way Miles' analysis applies to the ideology of this new cult is two-fold: women who question and rebel against their expected role in society are not women but instead 'transmen' or 'non-binary', and women who dare to question the trans cult itself are dehumanised as 'TERFS'.

Lesbians, by their very nature, do not conform to the patriarchy's expectations for women. Whether a society's dominant message is 'a woman's role is to serve her husband and bear him children as a good, chaste housewife' or 'a woman's role is to be a hot sex object on display in public and a sex slave at home for her boyfriend', lesbians do not conform. They do not desire romantic or sexual attention from any man in public or in private, because they are LESBIANS. Therefore, even a lesbian who enjoys dressing in the most feminine clothing and doing the most feminine things is still rebelling against the expectation that she desire to "please and complement man".

While many Western (and other) societies pride themselves on the increased rights of LGB people with the legality of homosexual sex, gay marriage, etc., they still have not entirely shaken off their long- and tightly-held homophobia, including on the left and traditionally secular side of politics. This homophobia combined with a good dose of misogyny mean lesbians suffer doubly as "daughters of the Devil", with the system of patriarchy working doubly hard to reassert itself against them. Lesbophobia is alive well and truly with increasingly common accusations of 'genital-fetishism' and 'transphobia'.

However, while lesbians are held in particular contempt by the trans cult, any woman who "argue[s], question[s], or challenge[s]" society's expectations for women is at risk of having her very womanhood called into question:

Unhappy with being cast as second-rate since you were a girl? Maybe you aren't a woman 🤔

Mortified and terrified by the unwanted attention you're getting because of your growing breasts? Maybe you're not a girl!! 😃

Never had any desire to have kids? Or get married? Are you sure you're a woman? 🤨

Refusing to bow down to the demands of men and holding your ground? Seems pretty masc to me... 😉

Prefer wearing sturdy, practical attire to uncomfortable, painful and even dangerous alternatives? Hmm, sure you aren't trans? Or non-binary? ⚧

Etc., etc.

Modern day trans-activism is a new backlash against feminism and women. It's not the only weapon the patriarchy has at its disposal, but it is a potent one. As discussed above, it encourages women to view their issues with men and femininity on a self-centred, individual level, distancing themselves from their own womanhood in the process. It could also be argued the harmful processes associated with identifying as a 'transman' or 'non-binary', such as breast-binding, self-delusion, taking puberty-suppressing hormones, taking wrong-sex hormones, and having risky, unnecessary surgeries also serve to keep women physically and mentally under control, caught in the self, transfixed with identity and possibly sterilised, their growth stunted, undergoing early menopause, and worse.

But even more dangerous to the trans cult than the gender non-conforming women discussed above is the woman who takes her own negative experiences with societal expectations and extends it to her fellow women the world over. To recognise the plight of women and girls as a class is far too dangerous to the system. And thus, we reach the second way Miles' words resonate with the present day.

A woman who "dare[s] to question the ideology" of the patriarchy's new guise – even without outright rejecting it – can with a few words from a nobody 'transwoman' (man) on Twitter or a bratty actor in an interview become the unforgivable, the abominable, the "sin" itself: a TERF.

The term 'TERF' has become a very effective silencing tactic for the trans movement. Activists love to fling this term at women who say things they don't like. Some 'transwomen' (men) like to take it one step further, proclaiming they're 'more of a woman than you, anyway'. And others go further still, sharing vile threats and violent fantasties of what they would like to do to 'inhuman' TERFs. Not to mention all the 'trans-inclusive' language which dehumanises all women – see: 'cervix-havers', 'menstruators', 'birthers', etc.

Detransitioners are also held in strong contempt by the trans cult. Their very existence calls into question one of the cult's core tenets: 'everyone who says they are trans, really and truly IS trans'. They hold fantastic insight into the experience of identifying as 'trans' and undergoing transitioning procedures before realising it was wrong for them. Furthermore, they can provide excellent insider knowledge of the workings of the trans cult. As a result, trans rights activists seek to also silence and denigrate them.

Unfortunately the threat of being called a TERF and what may accompany it makes many women silent. But more than that, it has turned many a woman into an (often unwilling) drone, "lov[ing] and serv[ing] her lord and master" – men, because let's be real, that's who this movement really benefits – with apologetic platitudes and proclamations of enthusiasm which would make a self-flagellating Medieval monk proud.

Many women become silent or start speaking the party line ('transwomen are women', 'they just want to pee', etc.) after being accused of having come across as 'TERF-y'. Many more have said little to nothing at all – especially in public or at work – because of real fears of losing their job, friends and reputation. We have seen the real life consequences for women of high and low profile again and again – jobs lost, Twitter bans, questioning by the police, public disowning, rape threats, death threats, etc.

I do not wish to dismiss these very real potential outcomes but falling in with the 'morally superior' woke or staying silent comes at an enormous cost. Even if we women believe none of this new trans activism makes any sense or does women any favours, even if we really, really wish we could just speak freely but don't, we are giving the cult power. It thrives on making as many people as possible believe their shifting values are righteous and correct, and that only bigots or inhuman 'TERFs' would disagree with them. Staying silent as the reasonable, caring women we are, is only reinforcing this.

Every time a slogan is spoken, free marketing had been performed.

Every time another right is lost to 'gender-affirming' policy with no push-back, we have lost ground.

And every time we stay silent, all women, but especially more vulnerable women, are losing.

We cannot afford to keep throwing fellow women, children and LGB people under the bus. We must stand together and fight off this new strain of the patriarchy like the deadly virus it is.

For the sake of all humans, for the sake of free speech, sanity, and for the women who have fought and died before us (some of whom Miles brings to life so vividly):

We MUST speak.

We MUST fight.

And united, we WILL win.

[animepopheart]

Wonder Egg Priority, Episode 11: “The Temptation of Death”?

Wonder Egg Priority is a beautiful, uncomfortable, moving and confusing series that starts out engaging all the things we don’t talk about—self-harm, abuse, rape, bullying, gender dysmorphia, and homosexuality, to name a few. Our silence and blindness to these issues have a weight and pressure to them, and WEP shows how this reinforces the isolation and hopelessness of the young women of the “eggs” who turn to suicide for relief. The first ten episodes have been exhilarating and exhausting alike.

And then there is Episode 11. This past week, the series took a bit of a turn, leaning hard into the sci-fi-philosophical, with appearances from Greek gods, a murderous artificial intelligence, and really, really disturbing insect girls, one of whom, despite being a brutal killer, is apparently a vegetarian. Has the show gone off the rails? Has it lost its way in departing from the familiar procedural approach of engaging a differing social or mental health issue with each episode?

Such a critique is perfectly legit, but before you write off the penultimate episode of WEP, just hear me out on why the abstract, meta turn in episode 11 may just be the most valuable thing this series has to offer so far.

Before we begin though, a little recap of what we learned this week. In episode 10, we hear the eggheads, Acca and Ura-Acca, discuss the need for warriors of Eros to battle Thanatos. This is our first hint that things are about to get lore-full and maybe a bit weird. Eros and Thanatos are of course gods in the ancient Greek pantheon, Eros being the god of love, and Thanatos, of non-violent death. Within the first minute or so of episode 11, it’s clear that the eggheads’ hope is now focused on Ai becoming the long-awaited warrior. At this point though, rather than continuing with Ai’s story, the episode shifts into flashback mode and we are finally introduced to the villain, an artificial intelligence created by the eggheads back when they were still human. Their lives gradually come to revolve around her: She is the fulfillment of their obsession to create life, and she is good.

Frill is associated with hydrangeas, which symbolise heartlessness and pride in Japanese flower language. But is it her heartlessness and pride, or that of her makers?

(Atelier Emily has done an outstanding series of posts on the flowers in WEP. Check it out!)

Only, it turns out she doesn’t play so nice when others join the happy family. After killing Acca’s wife, and putting the life of the unborn baby at risk, the AI—who named herself Frill—is unrepentant, all traces of her seeming humanity now revealed to be illusory, a mere affectation. Acca locks her away in a hole in the cellar. Years pass. The baby, Himari, grows up and is a ray of sunshine. But after effectively confessing to her ‘uncle’ (why does anime always do this?), she commits suicide. Ura-Acca discovers that Frill is still very much alive and active from her hole in the cellar, having powered up all the discarded monitors and laid down reams of electrical cables—to what end, we do not yet know. Though Ura-Acca surmises that she has somehow influenced Himari to take her own life. How else would the girl have known about Ura-Acca’s admiration for her mother? Where else would she have learned to make what will forever be to me now that uncannily sinister popping sound?

Here’s where it gets weirder. Unlike the suicides of subsequent egg girls, there is no indication that Himari, Frill’s apparent first victim, struggled with any mental health or other issues that would motivate her to take her own life. Indeed, her ‘uncle’ did not even reject her confession. (Again anime, why you do this thing?) Instead, the eggheads explain Himari’s suicide as being on account of the “temptation of death.” What now?

This is implying that death is somehow attractive, not just to someone facing overwhelming brokenness, trauma or pain, like the egg girls we’ve met so far, but to someone on the verge of stepping from a (relatively) happy childhood into young adulthood, with the promise of potential love to look forward to; someone who has not known suffering, but rather only smiles and cake. (To be fair, it is always possible that she experienced trauma in the womb, or was more deeply affected by her father’s sadness than Ura-Acca’s memories belie.)

That’s my question too, Ai.

The notion of death as somehow attractive or even beautiful is rather alien to Western culture. Certainly, there will always be some who romanticize death, à la star-crossed lovers (Shakespeare, I’m looking at you). But in general, Western culture views death as something ugly and frightening, something to avoid until it is staring you directly in the face, and even then, closing your eyes in denial is a perfectly reasonable response. Death is one of those things we don’t talk about. In my experience, Anglo-American culture is not very good at even mourning death. We lack the grieving rituals and observances of other cultures, and instead seek to confine death to the sealed, sanitized spaces of hospitals, care homes, and funeral parlors. We keep it shrouded tightly in silence. How could there ever be anything like the “temptation of death”? How could we ever consider death to be something desirable? Are the eggheads or CloverWorks simply aestheticising suicide and death here to make it sound deep and philosophical?

No, I don’t think that’s it. Instead, Acca and Ura-Acca are doing what all good researchers do—and indeed what all Christians, as believers in an unseen spiritual reality, are also called to do: They are looking more deeply into phenomena that seem, on the surface, to already be explained. The two idol fans were consumed with their obsession, so when their idol killed herself, they followed suit. The young woman whose identity was wrapped up in her own appearance ended her life to preserve her beauty. The abused gymnast saw no way out, no hope in ever living free from torment. Some explanations may be more sympathetic than others, but they all possess their own internal logic. Contemporary society is full of a vast array of pressures and stresses and each one, taken to breaking point, can result in death. Case closed. This might very well be our conclusion from the first ten episodes.

Only the case isn’t closed. Because there is a question that has pervaded every episode until now, but has remained unspoken: How is it that death could even become an option for the egg girls? Why does reaching a breaking point trigger suicide? What made death seem like a savior to these girls? This is the question that episode 11 tackles, in its own admittedly obscure way. The eggheads are focused on the underlying, deeper reality that unites all the eggs’ stories, as disparate as they are—the common thread, which is the idea that death is a release, a rescue, a beautiful ending, and as a result, it is tempting.

“But we wondered if there could be another push that drove them to suicide,” explains Ura-Acca.

This is a really important question for us to be asking. Because it’s not just these traumatized, vulnerable girls who fall for the seduction of death. We do, too.

Just ponder for a moment: Have you ever anticipated how wonderful it will be when, in heaven, you no longer struggle with that particular temptation? When your temper is no longer so short, when you’re not afraid of being hurt anymore? Or maybe you think about how one day, on those gold-paved streets, you won’t have to worry anymore. All your hard work coping and just keeping it together will finally pay off and you’ll cross that finish line and heave a sigh of relief, knowing that you made it in the end. Have you ever contemplated these kinds of things? I know I have.

But here’s the thing: When I expect my liberation to come only after I die and not right here, right now, then it is not Jesus who is my savior, but death. I am waiting for death to free me from temptation and sin and fear and brokenness, and usher me into eternal life. I make Thanatos my god.

The temptation of death is not limited to the drastic act of suicide, but also permeates all the accusations and fears that inspire us to put off living the fullness of life in Christ here and now. It’s the temptation to believe that it is death that will ultimately solve the more difficult and painful problems in life.

Acca and Ura-Acca seek to create a love that suits their ideals, just to relieve their stress.

The source of this “temptation of death” in Wonder Egg Priority is Frill, the AI. That is, a man-made, artificial version of love—with ai meaning “love” in Japanese. According to Ura-Acca, they made her “just for fun,” as a way of dealing with the stress of their enclosed lives. They designed her to suit their preferences, to make it easier to love her and forget that she was artificial. In this sense, Frill is the fruit of their self-centeredness, her every characteristic designed to satisfy their own ideals of how a daughter and woman should be. And this artificial love born of selfishness brings death into their midst and beyond, spreading it through the horrendous deformities of girlhood that she in turn creates, in imitation of her fathers. (Only perhaps her creations are less deceptive than theirs, wearing their monstrosity plainly on the outside…)

Frill’s creations. We’ve met Dash (right) and Dot (center), but who is that on the left? And is her name Morse??

To counter her destructive influence, Acca and Ura-Acca need true love, a genuine love. They need Ai, a messy, at times very weak human being, but one who nevertheless is willing to fight to live up to her name and maybe, just maybe, become a warrior of Eros.

There is also a deep, underlying force at work in our world, one that connects all despair and the actions born of it. A wide range of social issues, traumas and mental health challenges can and do trigger suicide, but they do not explain it fully. The deeper reality is the existence of an enemy who seeks to manipulate us into believing our true savior can only be death, whether it is right away by our own hand, or more subtly, decades from now by natural causes. But this is a lie, and it is one that we can combat. Just as I’m sure we’ll see in the final episode that Ai is equipped to wage the coming battle in WEP, so too are we armed, here and now, with the power to overwhelm the enemy’s “temptation of death”—we possess already the words of life, given to us by our true savior.

Jesus began his ministry with a public announcement that he had come to heal heart wounds, comfort those in pain, fill broken lives with beauty, and wrap those in despair with reasons to praise like a warm protective blanket, so that they might celebrate with joy once again. He came to bring freedom to prisoners and captives alike, giving a fresh new life to those locked up because of deeds done wrong, and those punished and injured at the hands of others. He came to take the outcasts, the weak, the traumatized and broken and transform them into mighty oaks, clean and strong; into people with the vision and skill and compassion and fortitude to rebuild a broken world (Isaiah 61:1-4, Luke 4:18),

He came to rewrite and restore our experience of life here on earth, and through us, to redeem our communities, cities, nations, and the world. God does not withhold the fullness of life from us until we finally make it to him in heaven. No, instead he moved heaven and earth to get right up close so that he could pour his own life out into us, even going so far as to breathe his very spirit into our hearts and bodies and minds. We don’t need to wait for death’s rescue—our hero has already come. But we do need to remind each other and ourselves of this truth pretty often, and let it work down deep into all the cracks and bruises in our souls until it strengthens all our weak spots.

In Deuteronomy 30:19, God tells the Israelites that he has given them the authority to choose between life and death. But he also tips the balances in their favor, urging them to choose life. In Jesus, he comes to tip the balances even further, making it possible for us to step into eternal life here and now, immediately and forever. So let’s do it. Each day, through each struggle we face. Let’s choose life and not death.

Warrior of love? And is Ai’s himawari (sunflower) related to Himari somehow?

Join me (in spirit) for the final episode on Tuesday to see Ai’s love triumph! (At least, I really really hope that’s what happens!)

[angel-tries-to-write]

Bloody favor

Fandom: Shingeki no Kyojin/Attack on Titan Rating: Explicit Pairing: Levi Ackerman x Hanji Zoë Word count: 3204 Genre: smut, fluff

When Hanji suffers from menstrual pain, there's only one person who can help them.

Sometimes Hanji joked, that if only they could do more experiments on Eren without hurting him, they would be able to get to know titans so well, they could predict the times they attack. Levi would always roll his eyes and say that it would be very convenient, yet very impossible as well, since the titans weren't much known for thinking, with the obvious exception for shifters. Unfortunately for him, the crazy scientist wasn't the type to give up on their theories, until proven wrong, besides that would be a wonderful ability, to predict the attack and being able to properly prepare for it. Hanji felt it on a personal level, knowing there is a certain pattern to their behavior would made all their lives and fight less stressful, and stress was the last thing they needed.

Their body was acting weird recently, it felt uncomfortable, heavy and tired all the time, their personality has changed as well, they always were impulsive and short tempered, but the past few days have proven that their patience was very short, to the point that when Nanaba joked that maybe they are pregnant, she barely dodged a particularly heavy book Hanji threw at her. Not that it was impossible, those hot nights with Levi might or might not had something to do with that, even if none of them would ever admit something was between them. But Hanji knew better, Nana's stupid joke didn't make them paranoid, but they actually connected the dots: it wasn't pregnancy, but upcoming period.

And obviously, obviously, this thing always comes unwanted. It seems to have this annoying ability of picking the worst timing ever, especially when you were busy. Hanji knew that very well, they lived for long enough to experience menstrual bleeding in various moments and places they neither expected it nor wanted. Super important and absorbing experiment? Check. Boring but mandatory meeting? Check. Long expedition that was supposed to gain valuable information? Check. First secret date with Levi? Of course. If Hanji only wanted and cared enough, they could make a very impressive list of all the places and moments they started bleeding out of nowhere. And they hated it with passion.

It seemed like, at this point, the only inconvenient situation when this condition hadn't started, was a battle with titans. Obviously, with Hanji's luck in this field, it was nearly undoubted that it was only a matter of time. Yet as usual, they weren't thinking about such things, when the titans attacked, they took their gear and rushed to the Wall with no hesitation. Even though they felt tired, overwhelmed, and they really didn't want to move, Hanji knew it was their duty as a soldier. So they fought, they fought with passion and rage no one ever expected from them. For the first time they didn't care about the experiments, information, any scientific knowledge, all they wanted was to defeat the titans and go to sleep.

At some point, when they slaughtered their way through another titan's neck, its steaming blood splattered onto their face, blinding them temporarily. Hanji swore under their breath, pushed the goggles up to see anything at least and headed to the wall for a quick break. Of course, titan blood evaporates eventually, but they didn't have time to wait until this happens, so they had to clean the goggles manually.

“Squad leader! Are you okay?” Moblit screamed, running in their direction, as Hanji took the goggles off their head, to properly wipe them.

“As okay as I can be in the middle of the battle, thank you” they answered, voice dripping with sarcasm.

“You're bleeding, four eyes” this time Levi spoke, though his voice was perfectly calm in comparison to Moblit's.

“I don't have time to bleed. Tell me where, so I can ignore it” Hanji did their best to look at him angrily, but they couldn't even see his face, so it was a challenge.

“Your pants” he pointed out. Hanji looked down to see a pretty large crimson pool, staining their white pants. Perfect. They should have expected that. It would also explain the constant pain in their abdomen they were experiencing.

“Oh for fuck's sake, not now” they groaned. Hanji wasn't swearing often, only when they were really tired or angry. “Fuck it, I'll take care of this later.”

“Maybe you should—”

“Don't you fucking dare to tell me what I should, unless you have more experience with periods than I have, shorty!” they snapped at Levi, very efficiently making him shut up. He knew that angry Hanji was the scariest person in the world. Apparently Moblit didn't, so he opened his mouth, but Levi elbowed him in the ribs.

“Don't even try, you'll only make them angrier” he said quietly. Meanwhile Hanji finished cleaning their goggles and they could see again, so they rushed back to fight. But as they landed on a rooftop of one of the smaller buildings, they could hear another person landing behind. They knew these footsteps too well to not figure out who followed them.

“I swear, one comment and you're dead” they growled, certainly not in the mood for bickering and jokes.

“Are you in pain?” he asked, approaching his partner. Hanji could see concern in his usually cold eyes. At first they wanted to yell at him, but they knew it wasn't going to help anyone.

“Yes” they sighed, leaning against the wall of the nearby, taller building, massaging their stomach in hope of easing the cramps.

“What I was going to suggest was that maybe you should go back and take some rest. I know it's your duty to fight” he quickly added, before they could interrupt him. “But just like injured soldiers, you only cause risk for yourself and the others by not being in your best shape.”

“I'm not injured. It's nothing, I can fight” they protested. Levi stepped forward and pinned them against the wall.

“Your pain is blinding you. Don't you see? All you've been doing is flying around and slashing titans like a maniac. That's not you, Hanji” he said and they could easily tell he was scared.

“Then what do you think I'm supposed to do? Rest comfortably while my squad and friends are fighting, bleeding and dying? Guess what, I can fight and bleed and not die” they stated angrily.

“Alright, then I'm going to have to use the more drastic methods” he leaned in and kissed them. But Hanji was not having it, they pushed him away as fast as they could.

“Are you out of your mind?! Someone might see us!” they scolded him furiously.

“Let them see, I don't care. You need relief from pain. Then I'm at your service” he smirked suggestively and put his hand on their thigh. “My body is yours, all you have to do is to use it the way you desire” he offered, pointing at himself.

“Fuck you” they spat angrily, but their blush was an obvious evidence they loved this idea, just maybe not in this place and timing.

“Excellent answer, now come and do it yourself.”

“Later” they sighed defeated, knowing fully well they couldn't resist him for long. “Once we're finished here, we can discuss your generous offer” they gave him a quick kiss and used their ODM gear to get to the other side of the area. Luckily the battle was soon to be won, after that, when they took care of the wounded and dead, Hanji could finally rest. The insides of their thighs were stained with various shades of brown and red from dried and fresh blood, and their body hurt, so all they dreamed about was a bath, a massage and, oh yes, almost naked Levi waiting for them with an already prepared bath.

“Ah, finally, you decided to show up. I thought I'd have to go and drag your dirty ass here.”

“I don't deserve you” Hanji said quietly, their eyes filled with tears.

“Less talking, more undressing. There's a bucket with cold water we have to put your bloody clothes in” he approached them and started to help them get out of ODM straps, then clothes. “Why didn't you change? I imagine it must have been very uncomfortable to wear this for that long. What did I tell you about self care?” he asked while working on taking out all the straps.

“I know, I was going to, but there was so much to do and so many people to take care of, that I didn't have time to even think about myself” Hanji explained, unable to look him in the eyes, they felt like they failed him.

“You really have to learn to care about yourself, shitty glasses” Levi said, his tone was difficult to read, even though Hanji knew him so well.

“I'm sorry.”

“Don't apologize to me. You did harm only to yourself” he said softly, kissing their neck. It tasted like sweat and dirt, which meant Hanji really needed that bath. He helped them undress completely, trying to be gentle. “Are you still in pain?”

“Yes. But I also want you so bad right now” they admitted, shamelessly staring at his chest. They were so close that they didn't even need glasses.

“Are you sure?” he asked, getting rid of his own remaining clothes. “I don't want to cause you more pain.”

“Really? That's what you care about?” Hanji raised their brow in confusion.

“What else should I?” he took a cloth, dipped it in water, kneeled for better view and started to clean all the blood on Hanji's thighs.

“Don't you think it's disgusting? And dirty?” they asked hesitantly. “Like... even more than a regular sex?”

“There's nothing that can't be cleaned later. Just like I do it now” he wiped dried blood off their skin, proving his point.

“Are you sure? I mean, cleaning is one thing, but sex?”

“Hanji... Don't make me say sappy shit” Levi sighed.

“Say it. I know you hate it, but maybe that's what I need right now” they leaned against the bathtub, to let him get a better access to their legs and crotch.

“Alright. But if you laugh, there will be consequences” he warned them. “I've heard once, that a true warrior is not afraid of a little blood on his sword, and I pretty much agree with this sentence. I don't like it, but I can handle it” he said with his eyes focused on Hanji's leg, too embarrassed to look up and meet their eyes.

“That's... disgustingly sweet.”

“Also ridiculous and pathetic.”

“Yeah. Don't do it again.”

“Don't worry, I'm not going to. But what I mean is that if you need me, I don't care about anything but your comfort” Levi stated, putting the cloth in the bucket with cold water, with Hanji's pants and underwear. He sat back on his heels and looked up, waiting for their move.

“You look really hot right now. I love to see you on your knees” they smirked, biting their bottom lip.

“Oh, I can imagine. I like to see you in this position too” he replied, there was a spark in his eyes.

“I feel almost bad I won't be able to properly use this position” Hanji lowered themself onto his lap, straddling him, then wrapped their arms around his neck. “Almost” they whispered and kissed him. Levi returned the kiss with passion, one hand entangled in their messy hair, the other caressing their buttcheek. Hanji's hand slid down his chest and perfect abs, but hesitated and only barely brushed his hardening penis. “Are you sure you want it?” they asked, looking him in the eyes.

“Yes. Now touch me, Hanji” he growled and captured their lips in another hungry kiss. The timing was perfect, just when he did it, he could feel his partner's hand on his dick, which made him moan in their mouth. He squeezed their butt in response, but that made Hanji break the kiss.

“Just be gentle, alright? My body is quite sensitive and not in the nice way. Especially my boobs, try to avoid touching them, it hurts” they asked and Levi nodded in response.

“Anything you want” he promised quietly and leaned his head on their shoulder, closing his eyes and focusing on pleasure they were giving him.

“Ass gripping is fine, besides you do it so well” Hanji purred, palming him for a while and waiting for their lover to tell them he's ready. Which he did, after a moment.

“I think that's enough. Do you want me to warm you up too?”

“Umm... no, you don't have to...”

“Hanji.”

“I...” they sighed, seeing his stare. “Yes, I do” they admitted.

“It's the first time I see you this shy and embarrassed. Even our first time wasn't this awkward” Levi noticed, his thumb found their clit almost immediately. Hanji gasped when he touched that little bundle of nerves. Period cramps made it difficult for them to actually feel the pleasure in its fullest, but their lover's magical hands were doing their job very well, making Hanji feel at least a little better.

“I wasn't bleeding during our first time. Neither I felt like shit” they explained, having difficulties with gathering their thoughts when Levi was touching them like that.

“Does it really matter that much to you? It's just some blood, no big deal” he peppered their jawline with kisses.

“We'll talk about it the next time it gets on your clothes” Hanji chuckled, but Levi pressed his hand harder, making them moan.

“Clothes are a different story. I don't happen to have any now, though” he noticed, tracing their skin with his fingers. “Besides, I don't mind getting dirty from time to time. As long as I'm with you” he confessed softly.

Hanji looked at him with these beautiful, big, brown eyes and pulled him in a passionate, breathtaking kiss, then pushed his hand away and connected their bodies by sliding themself on his cock. Both of them moaned into each other's mouth at the sensation. Levi pulled his lover closer, grabbing their thighs and ass firmly, to help them move with ease, once they were ready.

This act was quite different than their usual lovemaking, but also very familiar. Levi ignored his pleasure, focusing completely on giving all the control to Hanji. It was rare, usually the one who wanted domination had to fight for it, because both of them enjoyed being in control. Even when they felt like just leaning back and leaving most of the action to their partner, none of them liked to make it that easy. But this time he knew it was a necessity. Hanji needed relief and distraction from pain, not further discomfort, so he just had to let them do whatever they needed. It felt good for him too, so he didn't actually mind. And he obviously tried to help whenever they struggled with pace or angle. It was a quite weird, slightly uncomfortable and pretty awkward comfort sex, but no less sweet and loving than their usual intercourses. Slow pace might have felt less intense than rough and fast act, but it always allowed them to feel their bodies in a different way, to learn each other and to discover new sides of pleasure. They moved in slow, steady pace, even a little sloppy, their orgasms building up like glowing embers instead of burning flame and finally flooding them calmly like a lazy sea wave, instead of usual explosion. But they enjoyed it, that soft pleasure, so different, but still satisfying.

“You were right. I needed it” Hanji panted, hiding their face in a crook of Levi's neck.

“Do you feel better?” he asked, embracing his partner.

“Yeah. I don't feel pain for now” they answered with a small smile.

“Good. We can take a bath and go to sleep” he decided, kissing his lover's shoulder and caressing their butt and thighs. “Come on, you deserve to rest after that battle.”

“You too, captain” Hanji lazily slid off him. “That looks scary” they said, staring at his cock and lap, which were covered with their menstrual blood. Levi didn't say a word, he simply reached for the cloth he previously cleaned Hanji with and wiped himself, then his lover.

“There” he gave them a quick kiss. “Now get your pretty ass into the bathtub, or I'll throw you there myself.”

“You think I have a pretty ass?” Hanji echoed, surprised by his words.

“Of course I do, you have a lovely ass” he stood up with a little difficulty, his legs were getting numb because of this position.

“Your ass is lovely too” they smiled, standing up as well. It felt really tempting to annoy Levi further, but Hanji decided they're too tired for this and stepped into the bathtub as he told them.

After a quick bath, they both headed to Hanji's room. They tried to hide their relationship, but it was common among the veterans to seek comfort in someone else, it didn't necessarily mean they were dating. It became clear after one time, when all of them woke up in a giant pile in Erwin's room, after a particularly rough expedition. It was the day when the commander allowed to bend the rules for their all mental health. It turned out to be extremely helpful. Just when Levi and Hanji were sneaking through the hallway, they heard a scream. It was Nanaba. But before the couple could react, they heard Miche's voice and screaming stopped. She had a nightmare again and he had to calm her down, sometimes in a quite drastic way, like yelling at her first, because nothing else but shock would work, only then he could hug her, when she was aware what is real and what is not. Hanji and Levi exchanged pitying glances, on top of everything they all had been through, Nana had a terrible childhood. Levi knew exactly how she felt, he wasn't surprised she couldn't sleep well, though sharing a bed with someone else was really helpful. Usually she would come to Hanji or Moblit, but recently she started to sleep only with Miche and surprisingly, her nightmares became even less frequent and less intense. Just like Levi's insomnia eased a lot since he started to share bed with Hanji. No one questioned why or how it was working, it just was and everyone simply accepted it.

Finally they reached the room and crawled into the bed. Or at least they tried. Hanji just groaned as they collapsed ungracefully onto the mattress, too exhausted to even cover themself with a blanket. Levi had to do it for them, as he placed himself behind their back, to massage their stomach.

“You're the best, Levi” they whispered. “I don't know what would I do without you.”

“Go to sleep, Hanji” he kissed their neck and nestled himself comfortably. He didn't have to tell them twice, they dozed off a moment later. Levi looked at them for a while, before closing his own eyes. He hated to see them in pain, but he was slightly happier, knowing he could help them even a little.

[heyitsmerose]

Ateez reaction to a fan with Smudged Lipstick (Maknae Line)

Okay, I decided to write an imagine that didn’t include y/n and the members being in a relationship, because that too unrealistic, but then again this isn’t any more realistic so I don’t really know. Okay also, I think I may be starting to run out of ideas, please send in your requests I’ll make sure to do all that I can! :)

Word Count: 2k

Genre: Fluff, Whump

Mature Language*

San: 

You couldn’t beleive your luck. You had been selected for one of the ‘82′ challenges that Ateez were featuring on, and as a lucky guest, they had to do your makeup. (Inspired by this video) You were living every atiny’s dream right now. You got to personally interact with Ateez, and they would be doing your makeup. To be honest, before applying to get this opportunity, you didn’t really know what it was going to be, after you found out they were doing your make up though, you started getting a little nervous. They would have to see your bare face and you were quite insecure. Although your skin was really clear, you had freckles and covered them up when you could so it would be hard for you to show the world your bare face. 

You were sitting and waiting in the studio for the first member and Hongjoong walked in. You tried your best to keep your composure only to fail miserably. Hongjoong looked at you directly, and you immediately felt shy covering your face. He noticed and removed your hands assuring you that you had no reason to feel shy. He was the first one, so he had to put foundation, this was the scariest part. He was going to have to stare at your face for very long. You got nervous and insecure and he seemed to notice how you covered your face whenever you got the opportunity. He asked you and you said you were insecure about your freckles, but he just gasped telling you not to worry as your bare face was pretty. Once he was done, he went back to the other room, he made sure to tell the rest of the members about your insecurity, so they could try to cheer you up. You definitely noticed the extra jokes they cracked and the compliments they gave you. 

Finally it was San’s turn and he was to apply lipstick. He picked a soft pink colour and you nodded at his choice. He then came very close to your face and began applying lipstick. He held your chin with his index finger and thumb as he slowly started applying it. He made the mistake of looking up into your eyes though, because as soon as he did, you both burst into laughter. This caused, his hand to shake and go off to the side, messing up your foundation. You heard the members yell from the other room, as you had only a certain amount of touches. He decided to fix it, by using his thumb, as technically that wouldn’t be counted as a touch, and he could adjust it as much as he wanted. He held your chin firmly, and licked his thumb, wiping the excess lipstick off the side of your mouth, you could feel his spit, and you turned bright red. You heard a bunch of loud hollers and ‘OHHH’s from the other room, presumably from the other members. San just giggled and continued fixing it. After a while, he was done, and the rest of them came in to see the final look. You however, couldn’t stop thinking about what San did, and your hand unintentionally flew up to your face to the place San wiped your lipstick. The other members noticed and teased you for getting so flustered, while San just rolled his eyes. It was safe to say that you’d remember this experience for the rest of your life. 

Mingi:

You were going to see Ateez, and had planned your outfit for months. To your surprise, you were able to get a limited ticket to one of their fan meets. You were excited and wanted everything to go perfectly. Except Of course, Something had to go wrong. They recently had a comeback and had a title track similar to ‘wave’, with the concept being similar to ‘One to All’, a bright summer concept. You decided to dress up similarly with a bright orange outfit and matching coral lipstick. You actually were one of the first people to get the tickets and so you arrived early, when not too many people were there. It was just you and maybe another 30-40 people. Finally it was your turn. Mingi was actually the second person in line and once you reached him your eyes lit up. Your bias was sitting right in front of you and you were starting to feel the emotions. Mingi held your hands and happily swayed them from side to side to match one of the songs playing. You just giggled. You were just talking calmly until one of the staff interrupted you. She informed you that you had just another 3-4 minutes left with Mingi. This was one of the advantages of being first, you got more time, but still 3-4 minutes would go by so fast and you were disappointed. You pouted, your top lip making contact with your nose. Mingi noticed and licked his thumb. He grabbed your face with his other hand and just openly wiped the bottom of your nose with his thumb. Your eyes widened and a blush crept on your face. Mingi didn’t see anything wrong in it and was unfazed, you on the other hand, were burning from embarrassment. You feared that something was on your face so you croaked out softly....

“What’s wrong? Is there something on my face?” You whispered feeling embarrassed.

“No, no, no don’t worry, its just when you scrunched your face like this... Your lipstick got on your nose, it’s fine now though” He said, while scrunching his nose, showing you what you did. You just nodded trying to calm yourself down. How was he so unfazed by that? He just grabbed your face and wiped your face. After your time was up and you had to move on to the next member, the only thing on your mind though, was Mingi.

Wooyoung:

Ateez was doing a challenge in which they had to serve drinks at a cafe. They weren’t too popular at the moment, so they didn’t need to worry about security as they knew many people wouldn’t recognise them. Additionally, atinys were one of the most respectful fandoms in general, so they didn’t have to worry too much about that either. You were going to your usual cafe, only to realise that it was packed directors, camera men, etc. You thought that there was some movie shooting going on inside, so you decided to take a seat outside and wait a bit before placing your order. For a few minutes you were scrolling through your phone until you heard a voice approach you.

“Hello, miss! What can I get you today?” You furrowed your eyebrows, as the cafe didn’t have any waiters and was self service so you looked up, only to be greeted by your biggest celebrity crush. You gasped audibly, and your eyes widened. You moved a little farther from him, not wanting to invade his personal space. The second you gasped however, the biggest smile erupted on his face as he realised you were a fan. He then began to speak casually to you.

“Hi, beautiful, what’s your name?” He said flirtatiously, you knew it was apart of his idol tendencies to please his fans and everything, but you couldn’t help your heart fluttering. You bowed deeply, and he ushered you to pull down your mask so he could see your face. You were a bit insecure, so you slowly pulled down your mask. As soon as you did however, Wooyoung stepped in front of the cameras blocking you from them. You raised an eyebrow, but he just held a hand in front of your mouth, covering it, signing that your mask had smudged your lipstick. You nodded and thanked him turning away from him and fixing it quickly. You turned back around and he smiled moving away from the camera so you were in view too. 

“I’m Y/n and I’ll have my regular please” He raised his eyebrows and you corrected yourself.

“S-Sorry, I mean I’ll have a caramel macchiato” You said embarrassed he just chuckled and went back inside. The cameras followed him and you got a minute to chill. 

Reality was finally setting in, you just met THE Jung Wooyoung. 

Jongho:

Ateez was on the last leg of their world tour and were flying to your country. In fact, you were actually with your friend in Paris at the time, and had just watched their concert in Paris too. You didn’t know they were coming to your country, as it seemed that the last tour stop was surprise. If you would have known they were coming to your country, you would have never flown all the way to Paris. Either way, anything for Ateez. You were on your flight back to your country and got you and your friend business seats. The problem was that you had separate seats, on opposite sides of the plane. You had seat number 2a while she had 3d, how unlucky huh? You discussed trying to switch seats with the others when you got on the plane. You boarded the plane and a few minutes later, around 10 people walked into the plane and took their seats, with two of them attending to the other 8. One of them sat right next to you and you noticed all of them had hats and masks on. You noticed the opportunity as another one of them was sitting next to your friend, maybe they’d want to sit together and agree to switching seat, so you slowly asked.

“Excuse me, is it possible to switch seats by any chance? My friend is right behind us, on the other side, and I noticed one of your friends is there too, do you mind switching with my friend?” You said softly. He looked at you and you noticed those familiar eyes. It was fucking Jongho from Ateez. Your eyes widened but you said nothing, not wanting him to feel uncomfortable. He removed his mask and you saw his face clearly, trying your best not to break character, and remaining nonchalant. He just nodded and looked at your friend. You smiled widely and thanked him sincerely, waving to your friend with a big smile. He looked back at you and smiled and your heart almost exploded. You instantly stopped and blushed bright red. He just took his bag and walked to the other seat. Before leaving though, he looked back at you and motioned at his mouth, your hands flew to your lips and you looked at them noticing your bright red lipstick, you quickly bowed and thanked him, rushing back to your seat to fix your lipstick.

After the flight was over though, he did something surprising, as everyone was leaving the flight, he made sure to stand right behind you and he quickly slipped a piece of paper into your pocket. You acted as if you didn’t notice, but your heart was beating out of your chest. As soon as you entered the airport, you checked your pocket, while your friend was silently fan-girling. You opened the piece or paper only to realised he had slipped his autograph into your pocket. He must have realised you were a fan. Real smooth Jongho, real smooth.

[sofijaeger]

Sway

eren yeager x reader

word count: 3.3k

i wrote this about a year ago, i apologize for it being awkward lol

this isn’t the one I was planning on doing in my recent post, but I simply pasted this from my wattpad account and I think it’s kinda cool! This will mainly be set in 2nd person P.O.V. but your thoughts will be included as well.

Eren’s kinda OC... but who cares:)

Warnings:

• just a lil spicy👀 *Eren’s fault not mine*

• mentions/spoilers of season 3 part 2

Members of every Regiment appeared for what was planned as one special, social occasion, honoring the Scouting Regiment for their success in reclaiming Wall Maria, one of humanities' biggest comebacks. The take-back had caused so much pressure on the people, Historia, who had recently been enthroned as Queen a few months prior, had obliged an event to settle the scouts, and release any frustrations they had felt in the past.

Entering the large ballroom, each of your eyes gleamed in excitement at the sight before you. Captain even widened his eyes in amusement. Hundreds of formally looking pairs were painted across the spacious room. Many gathered in clumps around the perimeter of the ballroom, discussing each other's wear and significant ones, others casually seated at the tables, enjoying the fresh cuisine that had miraculously increased in supply thanks to the farmlands of Maria reopening.

Yet your eyes focused on one thing only. The dance floor, fully covered in couples flowing effortlessly in patterns like words written into poetry. As you began to step forward, lifting your dress in courtesy, a hand had gently tugged on your sleeveless arm. "Don't you think it's best we start the night off with conversation?" Armin gave you a gentle smile, despite his attempts to hold Connie and Sasha back from the royal buffet.

Inviting Captain Levi's Special operations squad as her guests of honor, discussions between your group and the rest of the Soldiers  from each wall had been intense. The 10 members including yourself felt too uncomfortable thinking about the subject again, specifically the losses you each endured.

As the late evening began to set, and the population of the room increasingly drunkened themselves, the cadets and yourself had had enough of the boring conversations. "That's it", Connie interrupted the group, "LET'S PARTY!!". He chugged a small shot glass of alcohol, receiving a few cheers from random guests and shocked faces from you and the rest of your squad, before pulling on your wrist, leading you to the dance floor. Excited to start dancing, a single thought held you back, and eventually another wrist.

You turned your head, viewing a surprisingly timid brunette holding your hand. "Eren?" you questioned. "Is something wrong?". He finally made contact with you, and seemingly blushed? Eren was never one to make such emotional faces but it seemed the view of something had changed his thoughts.

Or someone.

"Y-You..." he stuttered. By this time Mikasa had placed a hand on his shoulder. "What's wrong Eren?" she comforted.

Still keeping his gaze upon you, he mustered the words "You promised me a dance, don't you remember?" Your eyes widened at the question you answered only a day ago~

☼ ☼ ☼

"[Nameee]" Eren called, a day earlier. Finishing up the last of your chores, you hadn't turned in time for him to hold you in his arms, lifting you up and spinning you in surprise. "Eren?!" you laughed. "Enough with the sweetness, I'm not finished yet!" Placing you down, he reached for another broom and assisted you in your cleanings.

After a few moments,  you broke the silence, yet Eren was much more into physical showings than verbal. "I'm excited for the party tomorrow" You smiled. Turning to look at him, he kept his focus on the task at hand, sighing in what seems like half content, half dissatisfaction. "Oh, don't be so mopey Eren. Especially not around me!" He leveled to your eyes, a saddened look still present on his face.

"Er, what's wrong?"

"Taking a break doesn't sound very soldier-like to me"

"Don't you think we deserve a break?" you questioned. No matter how hard you tried it seemed you could never understand him and his motives.

"We're supposed to be fighting. Staying on the front lines until everything has been settled. What's the point in taking a rest?"

"Well let's see...to maintain our sanity?" You both chuckled. After another quick moment of silence, Eren considered your thought. "I guess it won't be too bad" he laughed. "Just don't expect me to be the life of the party"

"Oh you most certainly will be" you answered. "You HAVE to dance at least once".

"What? No way!"

"Despite what you may think, you've got some of the best rhythm i've ever seen. I promise you one dance won't hurt" you told. Eren looked into your eyes, the same eyes you'd fallen for not so long ago. "Will it be with you?" He spoke in almost a whisper, unknowingly moving closer to you. Your breath jumped before you could answer with a grateful smile.

"I promise".

☼ ☼ ☼

"I had her first, Titan boy!" Connie shouted, taking your hand again. Jean seemed to stand in disbelief. "Hey, I want to dance with her too!" He argued. Mikasa quietly giggled, sneaking you a shot glass before you approached the floor. Captain Levi was careless over the boys behavior but was quite concerned for the ladies, making sure they were safe was one of his priorities, almost making him seem father-like. As Historia from the other side of the ballroom instructed the musicians to mature the theme of the night, you took a few final sips of the beverage, seeing a few shocked looks from your comrades. Before accepting Connies proposal and making your way to the floor.

Almost immediately as the two of you stepped out, the music began to play. You were glad you had such great friends to dance with, but there was one problem.

Connie surprisingly had no rhythm.

He seemed to be enjoying himself as the instruments strummed in complexity, but his steps rather than reaching the floor stepped onto your small feet. You couldn't last more than 8 seconds with him. Jean suddenly tapped your shoulder and you accepted his offer to dance. "You understand, don't you Connie?" You cheekily smiled before walking away with Jean.

When Marimba rhythms start to play, Dance with me...

"Make me sway" The two-tone haired boy sang to you, making you laugh as you attempted to assist him in his dance steps. Jean was a good dancer, it was well known between the scouts, but it seemed no one could match your skill or competitiveness. "Jesus, Jean you really are a horse!" you critiqued. Your laugh though soon became more of a worry. Where was Eren? In all honesty you just wanted to spend time with him. Where could he have gone to?

What you hadn't observed was the turquoise-eyed boy on the side of the ballroom, who was very skeptical of your time spent with the others. No matter how often he denied it, seeing you happy with Jean pissed him off.

"I'd step in if I were you." a smaller man suggested, stepping towards Eren and Armin, who was trying to comfort his friend in the process of being extremely possessive over a girl who wasn't even his.

"Really, Captain?" Eren responded. Levi nodded, adjusting his tuxedo before shoving him to stumble closer to you and the horse.

Jean's face showed an apologetic frown for his clumsy footwork, before he noticed something over your shoulder. Jean smirked, then used his shoe to tangle you into your tight dress. You gave him a look that meant none else than 'are you kidding', leaving you no choice but to twirl yourself out of your tangled attire.

Immediately as you settled yourself out of your entwined dress, the hands of your partner were reapplied to your form, less tense.

You look up, only to notice your partner grabbing your hand and swerving you in a circle, beginning your dance again. You couldn't turn your head quick enough to meet his face, and it was quite a sharp twirl, one you never thought would've come from Jean.

And that’s when you realized you weren’t dancing with Jean anymore.

The male then began challenging footwork, something you could easily tag along to since it was...

At a quick tempo?

Just who am I dancing with?!

Again, before you could turn your head to make eye contact with your partner, he spun you once more, so that your backside was facing his chest. One hand of his sliding over your stomach, the other gently tracing down your arm to grab your hand again. Your breath hitched, and your feet continued to move in a pattern so insync, it was quite hard to understand how you were keeping time with him.

This guy is better than me! 

Like a lazy ocean hugs the shore, pull me close, sway me more.

Spinning you back around so you were held in a standard partner position, this boy held you so close your head was practically leaning on his shoulder. He didn't want you to see the reactions of the hundreds of people, now stepping off the floor to give their attention to you two. He wanted you to feel the moment with him, as if you were the only two in the world.

You were his world, that was for sure.

Like a flower bending in the breeze, bend with me, sway with ease...

The two of you continued to move in a circular motion across the center of the floor, stopping only for improvised footwork or him lifting you off the floor as you two spun.  From afar, you met Mikasa's eyes as she and a few other couples danced around you. She was with Jean, as he held her waist with a grin, but she didn't seem to happy about it. Chuckling at her facials, You were twirled again by your mysterious partner, his chocolate tussles brushing over your cheek.

When you dance you have a way with me, Stay with me,

The male hugged your form, pressing your entire body so close to his, slipping one finger into the cut of your dress so he was now tickling the bare skin of your lower back. The music timed perfect with this words:

"...sway with me"

Eren sang into your ear.

Your jaw dropped open, as the male longingly looked to your gorgeous complexion. Finally, you had the chance to meet Eren's eyes, but you didn't want to anymore. He had left you a beet-red mess.

God, you loved him.

Other dancers may be on the floor

Dear, but my eyes will see only you

Only you have that magic technique

When we sway I go weak.

It truly was an odd moment for everyone. The other scouts who had become your family had noticed your reaction in this very moment, as well as your emotions around him in the last few years. You were stubborn, but you'd always allow your temperamental, boss-like exterior to subside whenever you were with, him.

You had no choice than to wrap your arms around Eren's neck, to avoid any hints of your already blushing self. Dammit, what the hell is wrong with me?! you thought to yourself.

Eren chuckled in surprise, taking his far hand to support your upper back. "What?" he flirtatiously questioned, sending breathed heat to your neck where his mouth spoke. "You did say 'enough with the sweetness'". Eren used his index finger that had already been under the waistline of your dress to titillate your lower back once again. You whimpered in what you both knew was pleasure, and placed your head snug into the crook of his neck, your heavy breaths making his smug look even greater.

He took pride in how he was making you feel,

I can hear the sounds of violins, long before it begins

Make me thrill as only you know how, sway me smooth, sway me now

He slyly kissed the side of your upper half, from your warm cheek down to your collarbone over and over, continuing to sway as to not make a scene. You couldn't do anything but grit your teeth, for Eren had never pulled any sort of loving move to this extent. It was obvious he wanted to please you. And it was working, because you were furious.

No person could ever come close to making you feel this way, so why Eren? What about his sincerity and allurement made its way into you? Why did he make my heart race? It may have been his eyes, which caught you by surprise from the first day of Cadet training. You remembered thinking how you've never seen green eyes so bright, or how they could easily pass as turquoise from the blue and yellow flecks scattered in them. Maybe it was his confidence? An emotion he let out so effortlessly, even when he felt hopeless. It made you feel warm, like a true savior was guiding you.

As you pondered stressfully between your thoughts, so much frustration had caused you to gather a small tear in your eyes, and if you hadn't blinked, it wouldn't have trickled onto Eren, butterfly kissing his now damp neck.

Eren widened his eyes at your reaction, and immediately supported your head in his hand. "[Name?]" he worriedly whispered, burying his nose into your hair to shield your emotions from any eyeing guests. A minute passed with no response, he desperately tried to get an answer from you.

"Are you?... I didn't mean for you to-"

"It's not that" you whispered back.

"It had to have been something I did-".

"Yes-" was all you could muster before Eren spun the two of you in between couples, exiting the hall in an elegant fashion. He let go of your form, only holding on by your hand as he led you out to one of the many balconies the castle held, away from all the people.

Coming to a stop by the balustrade, Eren quickly turned around to see your almost dizzied form. Head down and sniffing back tears you most certainly didn't want to release in front of him. He took one step, wrapped his arms around you, less provocative than before, and held you for quite a while in silence. That is until he gained the courage to speak.

"I'm sorry, I really am." he cooed. "I never intended to make you feel uncomfortable. Please, know it was just a joke if I hurt your feelings in any way..." He placed a hand back over your head, softly rubbing it as you stood in his embrace. You wanted to cry right then and there. Cry out all the emotions youd held in these past years. He confused you so much you didn't know how to think or act around him. If that wasn't enough for you to begin crying again, the kiss he gave onto your forehead did the trick.

"I don't understand. " you whispered.

"What?"

"I don't understand you!" you shouted. Eren's face paled as you shoved out of his embrace, crossing your chilled arms. Wary of being too loud, you stuttered your next words.

"How come... you always know what to say. Is that another perfect quality of yours?".

Shit

Holding back your feelings wasn't an option anymore.

You had to let him know.

You wanted to let him know.

"No matter how hard I try I can never understand you! One minute your completely focused on what you have in mind, and the next your smiling without a worry in the world. I don't get it! You never give up on me, or never fail to make me beam, even in the darkest of times. How can you do that to me?! How can you make me nervous and excited at the same time? What is it about you that makes me want to fall harder for you?!"

Eren stood at you bug-eyed. How in the world was he supposed to respond to something so heartfelt? Words he conveyed so mutually? Luckily, you gave him more time as you continued to confess in your confusing way.

"Maybe... it's that your so loving towards your goals" you calmed down,"Yea...That's it." confirming with yourself out loud."Goals I find so astonishing, though I can barely understand how you approach them. It makes me want to stand by you, all the time, defeating all the challenges you face”.

You grabbed each of his clammy hands that hung beside his limpish figure.

“I want you to achieve the greatest happiness imaginable Eren." You looked up at him, and there was that blush you'd seen on him from before. Darker this time, even in the illuminated sky.

"It's a distinct feeling, I think of admiration? No, more than that. One I can't help, so rather than trying to fight it, I can't do anything but surrender to it. I sound absolutely crazy but I can't help it because-"

“I’m in love with you” Eren finished your sentence.

"Yes, that's exactly how I feel Eren! Wait, come again?"

By the time you could process his words, Eren had pulled you into a deep first kiss. His lips were warmer than you expected. The boy had wanted to hold you like this for as long as he could remember, his own hands couldn't bring you closer to him. He slid his hand through your hair, the other around your waist, finding its way back to that sweet spot underneath your waistline hem.

You quiet moan from his action was enough permission to passionate the bond between you two, as you grabbed him around the neck.

Eren was so immensely happy. He'd had never felt this kind of love.

A love he felt so rawly, he was completely lost in his dreams when he was with you.

You couldn't contain your breath much longer, forcing yourself to break away in a gasp, yet your noses still connected, Eren blindly searching for your lips again.

"[Name]" he whispered , touching his forehead with yours.

"I didn't know how to explain it, how you complete me when I thought no one could, but you do understand me, that's why I-" He stared into your tired eyes, gesturing his confession. "I-I can't contain myself around you. As soon as I see you each morning, I feel every urge in my body to tell you every detail about me, knowing you'll listen and genuinely care. I want... to kiss you every single time I look at you." His breath carried him into a few peppered kisses to your lips.

"Never in a thousand years could this event, or any person i've met be the source of my sanity. It's you, [Name], it always has been".

Your mind couldn't process what exactly had just happened, so you continued to stare down at his shoes, Your foreheads still connected as Eren once again attempted to get a response out of you.

"Was that too much?" Eren asked. His hand had made its way to hold yours, his other against your dry, tear-stained cheek, stroking it with upmost sympathy. "What I did back in the ballroom?"

You smirked, meeting his eyes with pure confidence and shook your head 'no'.

"I never said I didn't like it, Eren".

Eren smiled, wiping your damp under-eyes with his finger as he lead you back into the ballroom. There, you'd met the rest of your squad who was seated at your reserved table.

"Oi, that was some dance you two did" Connie raised his eyebrows up and down in amusement. "I got... lost in the moment." Eren nervously claimed. Connie seemed to notice the two of you still holding hands just as Jean had. "Someone confessed" Jean confirmed, but you could only smile.

"That's enough with the chatting. Get the last of your fun in now, because you won't have another chance like this for a while." Captain Levi broke in. The 10 of you ran back out to the dance floor, enjoying every bit of yourselves into the late night.

In all of your losses, all your tragedies, you'd found true happiness. And it seemed Eren had as well, turning to you with an even greater smile than he had ever made before.

[swordandboardllc]

Diversity: It's About More Than Race and Gender

Patrons received this post 5 days early.

“Your medical record isn’t proof of your condition.”

I’m paraphrasing and summarizing the response I received after four hours of trying to resurrect a dead “Ask Me Anything” on r/IAMA on Reddit. The AMA had gone fantastically, with plenty of engagement from other people with my condition asking questions that the answers might help them make their days (or in one case, the life of their 4-year-old daughter) a little easier. But then, in one fell swoop, a comment appeared from the mods and the post removed. Why?

Because I have Ehlers Danlos Syndrome, and no proof I could provide (including my official medical records) was sufficient. Just like that, the awareness I had been raising for this condition, the help being offered to the Redditors unsure where to turn for their own EDS, was shut down.

“So what does this have to do with writing?” you may be rightfully asking.

Everything.

Disability Inclusivity & Diversity

There has been a massive push for inclusivity regarding gender, sexuality, and race. These minorities are important, as is intersectionality throughout them. But disabilities make people uncomfortable in a different way, and they don’t often fit into a protagonist power fantasy. When disabilities are included, it’s usually a physical disability such as an amputation (usually lost for the sake of the story or plot). Genetic disabilities, amputations pre-story, or mental health issues are rare occurrences within stories (mental health issues are especially rare in fantasy, where it is often too easy to turn a mental health issue into a fantastically created reason, such as an actual demonic possession instead). PTSD is the exception and is becoming a more commonly discussed mental health issue within fantasy and YA fantasy worlds in particular. But the inclusion of mental health challenges and disabilities such as ADHD, autism, or psychosis, to name a few, are rarely discussed without appearing quirky or being explained away by actual magic (it’s one thing for a society to think that a person is possessed if they’re hearing voices, but it’s not schizophrenic representation if those voices really are demons).

Viewing the world from a different perspective is the very reason that we seek out stories. If you are the member of a marginalized group, you are constantly expected to read characters from a perspective and reality quite different from your own. For me, I know it is amazing to read about honest, raw chronic pain in a book that truly understands what it’s like to manage it daily. To share with others what that experience is like is a lesson in empathy. A lesson that everyone, no matter how empathetic they are, can always use the occasional refresher on. Writing characters with genetic disabilities, pre-story disabling injuries, etc. is an impactful choice. It leads to the next point…

HOW DO I WRITE DISABILITIES RESPECTFULLY?

Give disabled characters agency. Show realistic struggles and give them means to overcome those struggles without being required to wait for an able-bodied or neurotypical person to save them.

Make the story not about their disability. Two excellent examples of physical disability inclusivity done well are Toph from Avatar The Last Airbender, and Hiccup from How To Train Your Dragon. Rin’s addiction and PTSD in The Poppy War is an excellent example of mental health struggles. None of these stories revolve around just solving the disability. The plot moves on and the characters have to move with it in whatever way they can while struggling with those disabilities. 

Don’t create a disability and then immediately magically solve it like in Harry Potter with Wormtail’s hand amputation.

Talk to people within the community you’re writing about. Every type of disability has their own subculture that comes from it. There is no harm in respectfully approaching a group (often there are subreddits and facebook support groups you can go to) to ask if anyone is willing to open up about their experience to a writer. You’ll find people willing to do so! 

Create multidimensional characters with disabilities. Create villains with disabilities (but don’t make the disability the reason they’re evil, that’s a whole other trope that needs to become less frequent). 

My inbox is always available for answering well-intentioned questions about disability. Now go out and write some intersectional and diverse characters! 

-L.J.

Author of The Dying Sun, Book 1 of The Gods Chronicle. Pedantic Scribe of the ‘Scribe’s Journey Podcast’

Support Independent Creativity! Become a Patron Pick Up Your Own Copy Today! Use our Amazon Affiliate link to help support more content like this.

[whenihaveyouromione]

When I Have You - Chapter 39

Read on Fanfiction.net and ao3!

Also, I now have a Discord server set up for people who enjoy books and like talking about books. It’s new, but eventually we will have Secret Santas, reading challenges and group read-alongs. Please join if you are interested! The more the merrier!

For my oneshots and other Romione stuff, please follow @firethecanonsfanfiction

----

Chapter 39

Ron landed with Hermione in her parents’ garden, hidden by the large hedges that fronted their house. Hermione was gripping his arm tightly and didn’t let go once they had Apparated. Ron had to pry her off.

“Are you worried they won’t approve?” Ron asked, teasing as he gave her hand a squeeze.

“Of course not,” Hermione said, though he could tell her mind was a little distracted. “Still, it’s nerve-wracking trying to find a way to tell them.”

“They’ll be fine,” Ron assured her calmly. “They like me well enough, don’t they?”

“They love you,” Hermione said. “It’s still a little scary.”

“They were fine after you told them about their memories, so they’ll be fine with this.” Ron kissed her forehead as the front door opened. 

“Is there a reason the two of you are standing out the front?” It was Robert, and he was watching them both with that look he often wore — the look that said he was confused, yet amused at the same time. 

Hermione flushed and pulled away from Ron, turning to head into the house. 

“You know,” Robert said as they entered. He closed the door after them and followed them into the living room, “if you wanted some time alone, you could have come five minutes later rather than standing in our front garden. Honestly, we wouldn’t have minded if you were a little late.”

“We were just talking,” Hermione said, giving her mother a hug. Ron noticed that she quickly pulled away, tucking her left hand in her pocket. 

“It’s good to see you both,” Jane said, now hugging Ron. She barely seemed to notice Hermione’s odd behaviour. 

“You too, Mum.” Hermione smiled. 

“Do either of you care for a drink?” 

“Just some water. Thanks, Mum.” Hermione sat down on the two seater sofa in her parents’ living room, Ron beside her.

“Ron?” Jane asked. 

“I guess the same, thanks,” Ron said. The Grangers were keen on their wine for lunches and dinners, but they and Ron seemed to share different tastes and opinions about what was good. He was safest with water here. 

Jane went into the kitchen to get their drinks, while Robert flicked through the TV channels until he found one that was suitable for background noise. He joined Ron and Hermione by sitting in his favourite armchair. 

Ron glanced at the television with curiosity. Robert had settled on something Hermione had referred to as a sitcom in the past. Whatever that meant.  

“How’s your week been?” he asked, looking at them. “Work treating you well?”

“It’s fine,” Hermione said, resting her back against the sofa. “Busy, of course, but fine.”

Ron looked at her questioningly, for he’d given them the perfect opportunity to announce their engagement, but she gave a small shake of her head that went unnoticed by her father. He also noticed her hand seemingly tucked nonchalantly between her legs. 

“Ron’s been preparing for his final tests, so he’s been locked away in the study a little. There’s a lot of theory involved, along with all the aptitude tests he has to do as well. It’s going to be a busy next few weeks.” She smiled brightly. “But, it will all be worth it in the end. He’ll be fully qualified soon.”

“Wonderful!” Robert said with a genuine smile. It always amazed Ron just how pleasant her parents were toward him. How involved they were in Hermione’s (and now his) life, and how much they seemed to want to know about what was going on in a world they couldn’t be a part of. “I know how hard you’ve been working for it, Ron. Three years is a long time to persevere with training, regardless of what job it is.”

“Would be similar to university, I think,” Hermione said. “University can be longer, even.”

“What’s university?” Ron asked curiously. She’d never mentioned that before. 

“It’s... like another school,” Hermione began. “For adults. People our age. It’s what you study to get a job in the Muggle world. Like dentists.” Hermione indicated her dad. “You need to go to university for that.”

“So what’s the point in going to school all those other years, then?” Ron wanted to know. “You said you started at six or something, but all of that is worthless?”

“I wouldn’t say it’s worthless, Ron,” Robert said. “Just… different.”

Ron wasn’t sure he agreed, but said no more on the matter. He didn’t want to offend her parents, of all days. 

“How about you, Hermione?” Robert continued after a brief silence when Jane returned with two tall glasses of ice-cold water. “You still enjoying what you do?”

“Yes,” Hermione said. “It’s great.”

“You said you’re starting Saturdays soon?”

“Unfortunately. It’s not forever, though. We just need to get a law written. My hours should go back to normal after about a month. Which…” she looked to Ron, “will be when his hours will change. Training is pretty standard, but Auror work is shift work. Not sure how often we’ll see each other to begin with.”

“You’ll work around it, I’m sure,” Robert said. “Maybe you’ll both end up with a Wednesday off together instead of a Sunday.”

Hermione looked at Ron and smiled. He smiled back and took a sip of the water Jane had just handed him.

“And what about you?” Hermione asked her parents. “How’s your week been?”

“Same as every other week, Hermione,” Jane said. “Nothing new. Life is pretty dull in London these days. Especially since we closed the practice.”

“I thought you were enjoying your retirement,” Hermione said. “You two should definitely take a holiday somewhere. See the world. You’d have the best time, I think.”

Both Robert and Jane laughed. 

“Oh, we’ve thought about it, I assure you,” Jane said. “We’ve discussed it, and we’re thinking maybe next summer we might hire a caravan and travel through Europe. It’s still in the works, though. It would be for the whole three months of summer.”

“Croatia was nice,” Ron said. “When we were there last year. It’ll probably be even nicer in summer.”

“Oh, yes, we’ve been there,” Jane said. “Absolutely stunning. Greece, too. We’re going to put Lithuania and Estonia at the top of our lists. Would love to go there. And maybe even travel up north to Scotland, across to Wales… Ireland as well.”

“Oh, that reminds me!” Hermione set her own glass of water on the side table next to her. “Harry and Ginny have decided they’re going to move across to Wales. At least while Ginny is with her team. It’s easier for them to manage it that way, and Harry hates where he lives at the moment, so it was an easy decision for them.”

"And they're enjoying their engagement?" Jane asked. “It’s all so exciting when it’s new, and then comes all the planning.”

"Oh, yes," Hermione said. Again, Ron watched as she refused to move her own hand where she wore the engagement ring. Her desire to hide it was beginning to make him a little uncomfortable. She wasn’t embarrassed, was she? "They're so happy. I don't think I've seen Harry so happy since… since he won his first Quidditch match.”

"He's grinning like an idiot," Ron added. "Almost making training unbearable with his happiness. And they’re not really the type to get stressed over the planning side, I don’t think. Given their — um — popularity in our world, they’ll want to keep things pretty quiet and private."

"I'm so happy for him!" Jane said. "If anyone deserves to have something so mundane and normal happen to them, I would think it's Harry. The poor man, and I probably wouldn't even know the half of it."

"You wouldn't want to, Mum," Hermione said. “I don’t think Harry has even told us what’s going through his head half the time.”

"You two want another drink?" Robert then asked, noticing the two had already finished their water. 

"Thanks, Dad," Hermione said, holding out her glass for him to take. "Maybe some wine this time."

Robert accepted the glass from his daughter, and then paused. Hermione tried to wrench her hand back — she'd forgotten momentarily to hide her left one. 

Robert caught her hand in his and then looked at Hermione with a slight smirk. "Seems like you two had a more eventful week than you shared with us," he said.

Hermione flushed and returned her hand to her lap. 

"We were going to tell you," she said. "Over lunch. It was going to be a surprise."

"Tell us what?" Jane, whose view had been blocked during the short exchange, came over to stand beside her husband.

Robert looked down at Hermione with a smile on his lips. Hermione stood up, Ron also doing the same.

"Well…" Hermione looked at her mother. "Ron and I are… also getting married."

"What?" Jane said. "Since when?" She looked between them, her mouth slightly open.

"Since Friday," Hermione said. "Two days ago. Ron asked me."

There was a short pause in the Granger's living room, and then Jane wrapped her arms around her daughter in a warm hug.

"That's such wonderful news!" She turned to Ron and hugged him as well. "I’m so happy for the both of you.”

Hermione beamed at her parents. "Thanks!" she said. "It was all really sweet, was really unexpected…" She clutched Ron's arm excitedly. "We really wanted you to be the first to know."

Robert came forward to hug Hermione and shake Ron’s hand.

“Congratulations,” he said. 

“This just makes lunch so much more special,” Jane continued. “We’ll break out the best champagne we have.”

“Mum, you don’t have to —”

“This will be the only time we get to celebrate an engagement for our daughter,” Jane said. “There’s no better time.”

Hermione smiled, looking up at Ron. He placed an arm across her shoulders. 

“But before we do that, while you’re here, come upstairs with me. I’ll give you a few things that might help you start planning.”

“Mum, it’s a bit early —”

“It’s nothing wedding-y,” Jane assured her. “Just some planners I was given a while back that you might find useful. There’s a bit, though. Might need a bit of your… magic to help transport them.”

Ron dropped his arm from around Hermione. “Have fun,” he said, kissing her temple. 

Hermione followed her mum into the hall, their voices trailing up the stairs. 

That left Ron alone with Robert, which in this moment, unnerved him. His relationship with Hermione’s father over the years had been… interesting. While the man seemed to like Ron well enough, his sense of humour didn’t always gel with Ron’s, often leaving Ron wondering if he was being serious or joking. 

It had never occurred to Ron before just how Robert would react to finding out his only daughter was getting married, and learning about it in such a surprising way. If Ron was in his position, if Ron had a daughter, he’d probably be a bit… well, he didn’t actually know how he’d feel. It was hard to imagine him being in Robert Granger’s position one day.

He looked uncomfortably over at her dad. The man smiled. But was it just Ron, or did his smile not quite meet his eyes? No, that was how he usually smiled. 

Though, the impulse in Ron to prove himself as a good match for the Grangers’ only child had him stupidly saying, “I really do love her.”

“I’ve never had any doubt about that, Ron,” Robert said. “And if you said that because you feel I’m suddenly going to turn against you because you asked my daughter to marry you, you can relax.”

Ron shifted where he stood. He wondered if he could sit down, but decided against it. “Right.”

“I’ve been there before,” Robert continued. “Proposing. Anyway, it’s not my opinion that matters, even if I didn’t approve — which is not the case. Hermione’s an adult, she’s more than capable of making her own decisions, and I like to think she makes rather smart ones. She always has, so I can’t see why this would be any different. She knows what she’s doing.” He smiled wryly.

At this, Ron smiled. He relaxed slightly. 

“I’m happy for you, I really am,” Robert continued. I’ve not seen her happier since she’s been with you. You make her happy, and after what you’ve all been through, I think some happiness is well-earned.” He smiled at Ron in a very fatherly way. “The pair of you have a very strong relationship — that is obvious. You make each other happy, you love each other deeply. And I think that’s wonderful.” He held out a hand, offering it to Ron. “Welcome to the family, Ron. Officially.”

Ron accepted Robert’s hand and smiled. “Thanks,” he said. 

“You know,” Robert then said, his hand dropping to his side, “Jane and I do like our wine, but I think this might call for something… different.” He looked at Ron with a wry smile. “How do you feel about beer, Ron?”

“I’ve not had it before,” Ron said. “Unless you mean Butterbeer.”

“Is that one of your weird drinks?”

“Yes,” Ron said. “It’s not very potent, though.”

“Well, I don’t know if it’s in any way similar, but —” He indicated for Ron to follow him into the kitchen and combined dining area. 

Ron obliged, not wanting to disappoint. 

Robert went to the refrigerator and took out two identical bottles. He passed one to Ron. Ron watched him twist the lid and open it, and instantly felt very stupid when he couldn’t do the same. He flushed as Robert had to do it for him. 

“I suppose if you’re not used to this, it might be tricky,” Robert said drily. 

Ron turned an even deeper red, certain he was making a horrible impression and that Hermione’s dad was reconsidering his congratulations. “Actually, it’s just… we use… magic.”

“Ah,” Robert said. “Well, don’t let me stop you.”

Once opened, Ron brought the bottle to his lips and tasted the drink. He almost gagged at the bitter flavour, but managed to keep a straight face.

Robert chuckled. “I can see it’s not really your thing.”

“It’s just different,” Ron said, taking another sip. It was slightly better this time. 

There was silence for a moment. Then Robert spoke. “You strike me as the romantic type, Ron. How did you ask Hermione to marry you?”

Ron drank from the bottle again before answering. “Er, well… not as I had planned it. I was going to take her to this lake we visit often. I’d asked my brother to organise fireworks and everything, but… you know what she’s like. She kind of figured it out before I got the chance.”

“That’s Hermione,” Robert said with a nod. “Very intuitive.”

“Yeah, well, she also was ready to kick me out because she learnt that I had taken a lot of money out of our account. So, I had to tell her the reason before she got the chance. I used the money for her engagement ring, by the way,” he said at Robert’s quizzical look. 

“It’s a nice one,” Robert replied.

“Yeah, it is.” Ron smiled slightly at the image still in his mind, as clear as day. “I kind of asked her on the floor of our bedroom. But she said yes after deciding not to murder me for spending so much on her. I’ve been wanting to do it for a year, almost. I just… couldn’t afford to straight away.”

Robert smiled. “Well, I really am happy for you, Ron. She loves you very much. You’ll have a very happy life together, I’m sure.”

“I hope so,” Ron said. “She makes me —” He wanted to say a lot of things, but didn’t think some of them appropriate to say in front of Hermione’s dad. “She makes me happy,” was what he settled on. 

Robert nodded. “I know.”

Hermione and her mother came back after that, Hermione clutching a few folders and looking pleased. “These will be perfect, Mum. Thanks.”

“What are they?” Ron asked, taking one from her hands and flipping through it. It was a book with blank pages. 

“Mum said we can use them to plan our wedding. She’s been meaning to get rid of them for ages.”

“I find writing things down and making lists is very beneficial,” Jane said. 

Ron smiled at Hermione, and she smiled back. If they weren’t in her parents’ kitchen, he’d kiss her where she stood. She was in her element with all those empty folders, and Merlin did he love her when she was in her element. 

“So, does your family know, Ron?” Jane asked, breaking Ron’s gaze from Hermione. 

He startled. “Not yet. We’ll let them continue celebrating with Harry and Ginny. We haven’t even told Harry or Ginny yet, either, actually. We probably won’t. They think it’s happening next week.”

Hermione placed the folders on the bench. “Ron’s family has a lot to celebrate often,” she said. “So we told you first.”

At that, Jane beamed. “Well, I think we should get lunch sorted, don’t you? I think we should even maybe head out somewhere nice for this occasion.”

“I was just thinking the same thing,” Robert said. 

Hermione looked at Ron, and he took her hand. “Sounds good to me,” he said, beaming, and she kissed him quickly. 

Everyone smiled and Ron squeezed her hand tightly. 

He loved her so very much and now that he’d asked her to marry him, he couldn’t wait for their wedding day.