#having things for myself 😭😭😭 its no wonder why i live my life like im in a constant panopticon even when im completely alone in

[dynamicks]

bro i wish my parents didnt use my computer 😭😭😭 i wanna make a pretty anime man my wallpapers so bad ffs

[danibeanie]

Cancer mars post 🤍

(Also moon-mars aspects!)

-I really feel like this placement resonates the most with me when it comes to my natal chart. The funny thing is that it makes NO aspects with any other planets.

-I’ve heard somewhere that a planet that doesn’t make any aspects with other planets is important because it’s just itself with no other influences.

-wherever you have this placement with definitely influence that house x10. I feel like planets in their fall or detriment just impact your whole chart in general.

Positives 🩵

-your intuition is literally amped 100 by this placement. someone can be talking to me in a different tone than usual and I can just sense there’s something wrong and they’re like HOW DID U KNOW??😭

-emotions are strong and it’s because it’s influence links with the moon. we know that the moon is who we are deep within, our hidden feelings. anything I do makes me want to work even HARDER because it’s all sooo personal to me 🥲

-strong empathy with this placement you naturally put yourself into others people shoes, want to take care of others and it just comes by instinct.

-people many call you super nice and your just talking LMAO. I have this placement in my 3rd house which is ruled by communication so it’s just natural for me to embody the placement when I’m talk.

-ex you can have this in the 7th house and your just super giving into any relationships kinda intense lol, 10th house people at work may see you as mother😋 (kidding) a nurturing person.

-a lot of passion, many people forget that cancer mars is a CARDINAL sign which means it’s easy for these people to fall into a leader position. we are go getters and can be a bit competitive.

Negatives🩶

-any conflict that we have is literally the end of the world. It’s feels like impending doom when I’m mad at someone because the only way I can control this is by crying 😭

- we hold grudges *sigh* , no but really it will take me so long to forgive someone and it’s hard to let go of that bitterness. Its just that we are so considerate so when someone does something we would never do it’s hard to let go of that situation.

-mood swings are there and other people can easily get affected by this as well. we can be fine and dandy then we think about something that hurt us from 5 months ago and then we get passive.

^im very self aware of this and I try not to let it happen and when it does I isolate myself

-most of our anger is directed towards family???😭 idk if it’s just me but my family tends to see the ugly side of this placement. no one’s ever seen me SUPER-mad except for my parents.

-does anyone else get HORRIBLE,UNBEARABLE periods?!? I feel like no one talks about this.

-AVOID CONFRONTATION like no other and then we wonder why we hold grudges cause WE DONT TALK IT OUT LMAO.

-it’s easy to get drained of tasks that your not emotionally invested in or see no future in. I can make a whole rant on how this affects my school life but that’s too much.*sigh*

Influential musicians 🩵

chester bennington(lead singer of linkin park) also had a cancer mars.(may he rest in peace🤍) A lot of rock and heavy metal musicians have cancer mars which is ironic because they put all that passion and emotion into their lyrics and singing.

-lana del rey is a cancer mars and I feel like she embodies this placement fully. even by her lyrics and just the way she talks.

IN CONCLUSION 🩵

-being a cancer mars has its ups and down and so many people pertain to its negatives. I believe that people with the fallen/detriment placements all naturally have their positives as well. it’s definitely a placement you have to live and learn by. I love this placement because it humbles me, gives me empathy and kindness ,but don’t cross us cause then we’ll reciprocate that rudeness 10x harder.

[vorpalfae]

Trigger Warning: Rare Illness/Health Issues [wasn't sure if this need a tw but these topics make some ppl uncomfy so i wanted to be considerate anyway💜]

so a lot of ppl have been asking me why i don't post pics anymore or why i have barely been on social media compared to how i used to be. and the reason is i've been having severe health issues for a very long time. i can't even remember the last time i went more than a month without feeling nauseous, or actually throwing up, or just having headaches and stomach pain that are so bad i can barely tolerate them.

i've known for a while that i have gastritis, but my mom & my bf convinced me to go to a new doctor for a second opinion. after months & months of pure agony and feeling exhausted and sick to the point where i have no energy, i finally know why. i went to a specialist and discovered i have a rare illness called CVS (Cyclic vomiting syndrome). and i also am lactose intolerant which was amplifying my symptoms because i eat dairy products constantly.

i am going to be starting treatment for it and i really hope it improves my life and my ability to function because i am so tired of "living" like this. just existing has been exhausting and painful. i literally haven't been able to accomplish any of the goals i have because i can't go more than a few days without feeling horrible.

i already feel useless because i'm autistic and i have bipolar 1 and i'm waiting on disability payments to come through because i am unable to work with my disabilities. so my bf has been working and doing his best to take care of me and our kids. i just feel so horrible and guilty all the time. and i genuinely didn't know why i feel sick 24/7. all i want is to feel like myself again. and to do all the things i miss doing. i feel like i'm trapped by this illness.

i'm grateful to have answers and know what i'm dealing with finally. but after suffering like this almost every single day for so long its so hard to feel hopeful for the future at this point. i'm literally in tears as i type this. its just been really bad. i never do my makeup anymore or feel good about myself. i can barely move sometimes because the pain in my stomach is so bad or i get pain in my throat from vomiting for hours at a time, and then i get MORE pain from dry heaving due to not being able to hold down any food. and then i get random migraines and headaches that last all day as a result of all of that. its taking a huge toll on my body and my mental health. my depression gets worse during the winter season so when this started getting really bad it just made my mental health a million times worse. its literal hell.

but yeah thats why i haven't been online. real life is hard enough and i haven't been motivated to post because of the hell i'm going through or a lot of the time i physically CAN'T make content. but i'm going to keep trying. i'm going to do every fucking thing my doctors tell me to do because im so fed up with suffering. i promise that i will make content again and post the things i create and other stuff i used to post about before i stopped being able to function. as soon as i start to feel semi normal or at least well enough to do daily activities and complete even small goals, i will post about it. i'll keep u guys updated.

i appreciate every single person who follows me and my content, and all the ppl who keep checking up on me and wondering where the fuck i went. i love you guys so much💜 and i'm so sorry to all the ppl who haven't heard from me. if i can gain at least a little bit of my physical strength and health back, i will be so happy. i also am trying to get vitamins prescribed to me because im severely lacking nutrients but they are so expensive and i can't afford them out of pocket until i get my disability money. i'm also anemic and have to start taking iron supplements again. i'm just a giant ball of health issues😭 its actually ridiculous how bad my health has been. but i'm a mom and for that reason i will never stop trying. i will do whatever it takes to get better. i don't think my health could get much worse than it is currently. hopefully i didn't just jinx myself by saying that😭

sorry for the super long explanation, i just have sooo many messages in my inbox and questions that you guys send me that i haven't answered. i don't want to leave u in the dark. the connections i've made on this silly little blog mean the world to me. and everything i've been going through has been so hard to explain. but since i recently got a REAL answer as to why i'm suffering so much, i felt it was a good time to let you guys know what is going on with me. like i said, when i am able to feel somewhat normal again i will post consistently and re-open my shop too! it sucks so bad having a passion for creating but being too sick to even get out of bed other than to get sick in the bathroom. i've been to the emergency room more times this month than i have in the last 4 years. if i can overcome this awfulness i will not take it for granted. i will work harder than i ever have to create and share it with the world. but for now i just have to sit back and do whatever my doctors tell me to do and hope to god that it helps me 😞

[tahyal]

Hello tahyal! How can I rewire my subconcious mind? This year I am really stepping into self discovery and spirituality more deeply and last week I realised I have so many limiting beliefs about myself.

Last week my brother's bestfriend, someone I liked a lot, got together with someone and that triggered so many things inside of me that I didnt even know were there. Unfortunately I took it hard, maybe because I've never experinced romance before, which also has been bothering me recently.

I look at his life and think I'll never have that many friends, I'll never have exciting experiences or I'll never find love or be intimate with anyone (Im a late bloomer, never had sex or had a boyfriend, Im 22 years🥲), I'll be stuck in my country living a mediocre life forever etc etc.

I noticed this pattern before and I realised I just dont have high hopes for myself in any regard and Im trying to change that this year. I need help feeling my feelings without ruminating, which I have been trying to do this week, I dont know if I have been very successful at it though. I experience anxiety and a lot of worrying which Im trying to work on as well. I thought I was doing better but that rocked me last week. I am willing to put in the work.

Do you have any messages or advice you can share with me? I know it's a lot, youre the only person Ive shared this with😭

Thank you for what you do on your platform, your grace inspires me, much love🤍

Hi love! Its wonderful that you’re aware of this and are willing to shift your mindset, that’s already 40% of the work.

I’ll give you a list of videos, books, and people that I recommend you check out, get a journal and write down the things that spark something within, and get into the habit of being honest with yourself (you’re already on the right track I think), don’t be afraid to write down your exact feelings, take some time with yourself to figure out why you process things a certain way, why you have certain beliefs, where do they come from, how long have you had them for, how would you react/act if you didn’t have them, which beliefs would help you be the best version of yourself, how can you implement these beliefs, etc.

So, here’s the list :

- Psycho cybernetics by Dr Maxwell Maltz (can listen to it on youtube)

- The Game of life and how to play it by Florence Scovel shinn (available on youtube as well)

- Caroline Myss’s books and conferences

- Dylan James on youtube (I usually find manifestation coaches odd lol but he’s very thorough and pushes you to get to the root cause of your triggers and blockages - he studied neuroscience as well I think)

- Jessica Richburg’s yoga videos on youtube : this is for daily movement, which has a huge impact on your mental and emotional states. Especially hip opening exercises, they’re great for emotional release.

- Dr David Snyder’s NLP (neuro linguistic programming) free lectures on youtube

[tecchous-thicc-buttocks]

what do you like doing in your free time?

why is your name clenched buttocks (I wanna know the reason, pls its so funny lol)

what are things you're good at? (own it babe) (and i don't mean 'babe' in a weird way - just gotta clear that lol)

do you have a best friend?

do you write OG stories and/or fanfics?

one thing you hate about yourself

one thing you love about yourself

do you want a pet? if so, what pet and why

(pls at this rate, its sounding like an interview, so sorry 😂 i'm just...i have a lot of time in my hands and i decided to do this for no particular reason)

fave type of music?

what made you like bsd? and did you always like it? (cause for me, i didnt like it too much at first but it grew on me the second time around)

have you read the bsd light novels and what's your fave light novel if yes?

any pet peeves?

what's your 'ideal' partner (do you have a type like Kunikida or are you fine with anything as long as you're having fun)

Would you rather be single and rich or taken and with a normal salary?

are you happy with where you work/study?

what's your dream career?

what's the app you use the most?

would you rather draw or write?

*** (P.S just pick the ones you want to answer) **

i think im going to look like a weirdo asking so much questions but whatever. at least we dont know each other HAHA i hope you have a good day. <3 and also i love your analyses. just keep posting what you like. i find some of your posts funny lol

good day.

(# you asked and i delivered) (# just me looking for an excuse to use this line) (# cause you said you wanted more questions in your other post TT) (# also ik this isn't a real tag but i wanna be ✨creative) (# fan behavior? idk anymore lmao) okay bye mwa <3

KHJDKJKSAJDGKJSFKG I LOVE THIS I LOVE YOU I WILL BEGIN ANSWERING NOW

i have no free time. I either overwork myself or sleep. however, assuming that i've got a sliver of time to do something, I swap from one obsession to the next <3 rn it's going for insanely long bike rides and turn down every road I feel like until I'm lost,, and going to the gym like an absolute maniac bc i want my arms to be the size of a regular adult's legs

my username is what i desire in life. it is was I strive to be worthy of. it is beauty and life itself, it is the culmination of the universe's most wonderous accomplishments all squished into two raging enormous, gargantuan muscular earth shattering sea trembling ass cheeks 😩😩 (BUT in all seriousness I chose this bc I felt like having tecchousthiccthighs wasn't quite as pleasant??? eheheh buttocks is a funny word)

MY TALENT IS SAYING ANYTHING THAT CROSSES MY MIND TO STRANGERS i've been on this spree lately where I just straight up call anyone pretty when I run into them and HOLY MOLY PPL ARE SO CUTE ABT IT this is your sign to compliment someone today ✨✨ but nah baby i'm good at everything it's a curse ngl (U CAN CALL ME WTV HUN IT'S OK KJKDJFKJS UR SO ADORABLE WHAT)

no best friend bc i can't do commitment and bully friends that get too close to me 😍😍 BUT i'm gonna tag @bellyjellyfish for being my one and only and somehow not hating me thru my unironic "uwu" phase <33

I wrote a 700 page story when I was 12 and it remains unfinished bc I kept rambling and there was no plot 🕴️I love writing but abandon a whole lot of works bc I dream up the rest of the plot and go "oh well why write it now i've been there done that" I DO WRITE FANFICS 👁️👁️ I have a wp account where i wrote a bunch of awful stories and it still stands to this day! (no i will not disclose it don't even try me grr)

I hate how sexy I am 😭😭😭😩😩😩🥵🥵🥵🥵🥵

I love how sexy I am 😳😳😳😳🥶🥶🥶🥶😜😜😜😜

I WANT A TARANTULA I WANT A TARANTULA I WAS A CHILEAN RED KNEE TARANTULA AND I WANT ONE SO BADLY OMFG I've always liked spiders but the ppl I live with would absolutely kick me out if I got one??? once i live on my own i'm def buying two cages so that whenever I have guests, I just put out the empty cage, hide the real one, and be like "oh no what happened to billy my tarantula, he escaped again :(" just to wreak havoc

(HAHA NO IT'S OK I USUALLY DO THIS TO OTHER PPL SO I APPRECIATE U SM LOL SLIDE INTO MY DMS BBG)

fav type of music is classical bc i'm edgy and not like other girls 🤩🤩🤩 something about la campanella just hit so hard when I was like 10 that I have taken it and ran, but I do listen to rnb a lot, never in just one language tho bc sometimes english sucks my d

I liked bsd as soon as I saw ranpo's silhouette in the first episode, I was like "him. I want him 🏃‍♀️" but it was solidified in my head as soon as I saw natsume bc 1) he's hot AF IT'S NOT FAIR I WANT HIM 2) I had been reading his irl works and fell in love, so I started exploring other bsd authors and it introduced me to gogol (i'm so in love with his writing style it's not ok) soooo yeah :)) I started reading bc someone (you know who you are) liked chuuya and I haven't looked back since, tbh it's one of my favs just bc of the characters and their depth

I've read all the light novels I could get my hands on, and I have to say stormbringer FOR THE ONLY, SOLE REASON THAT I AM IN ABSOLUTE LOVE WITH ADAM

pet peeve hmmmm idk??? i'm chill with everything except pickles I hate those mfs, but if I had to chose smth it would be when someone shoves a ship down my throat (it's me i'm bitches go stan satosugu rn)

no ideal partner! I'm aro fyi, but also I feel like I'd be chill with just abt anything?? if u match my energy, we can be partners in chaos and i'll feel understood, and if you don't, I get to learn abt a different kind of lifestyle and get to have someone sane to hold me down (or to corrupt), so either way it's a win. I find culture to be incredibly attractive, speak a language I don't or tell me about a tradition of yours with a wholesome smile and I'd move mountains for you 💖💖 teach me abt something that you're emotionally invested in and an expert, and I'm literally yours <3

haha i don't ever wanna be in a relationship so i'll take being rich,, but honestly it ain't about the money, i'd want to have a normal salary and be taken, but it just ain't my vibe ?? dunno how to explain erm-

dream career is racecar driver YOU TRAVEL ACROSS THE WORLD TO ICONIC DESTINATIONS YOU GET PAID INSANE MONEY AND YOU GO VROOM VROOM VERY FAST WHILE CONSTANTLY ALMOST DYING WHAT ELSE DO I NEED IN LIFE????

app i use most is my local library app bc i'm constantly trying to renew my books that are incredibly close to being overdue 🫡 but nahh i don't use my phone that often it still irks me i'm actually a 60 year old gilf who hates technology and complains abt kids these days

I CAN'T DRAW BUT I ALSO CAN'T WRITE YOU'VE GOT ME AT A DEADLOCK BRO??? if it's which I would rather be GOOD at, i'd say drawing bc imagine thinking abt something and just printing it out on paper??? yall fr got some magical talent omg

WHAT IF WE DO KNOW EACH OTHER THO??? WHAT IF WE'RE ACTUALLY NEIGHBORS??? CHILDHOOD FRIENDS??? YOU NEVER KNOW AND YOU PROBABLY NEVER WILL MUAHAHAHAHA i'm gonna stop now but ty for all your questions and have a wonderful day, darling <33

[purpleyoonn]

I think its frustrating that people doesn't understand how hard it is to write under pressure. Its one thing to get compliments, and another to feel like a press machine? I hope people respect you more after reading this!! If they don't, I hope they have the sense to google some of the things you mentioned to see how they affect someone. I think knowing these things helps a lot for general compassion when we live in a world of empathy fatigue.

With that in mind, the fatigue behind disabilities is something (some) people don't seem to get? I have Narcleopsy type 2 so I struggle a lot with chronic tiredness. It's not easy to deal with!! Some days its a choice between if I'm going to make myself meals, or if I'm going to take care of myself. (To oversimplify it in a way to show my own struggle). I can't imagine your own situation, but I know how mine affects me.

I actually find you really inspirational because of this- not just your writing (cause its beautiful af and sooooo well thought out), but also because of how hard you work. The past 3 years I've hit a rut because my psychologist basically said I need to give up all hope of a normal life. That college, work, etc is not possible. That my life is just going to be some early onset of poverty-stricken retirement starting in my 20s. I really had no hope, only a lot of fear. But following your blog for the short time I have has uplifted me so much. Not just from your newest series you started (I have a serious fear of not having worth because of my own disabilties) but from everything you've said and written.

I think you're incredible. I'm terrified of my future, if I will ever live a normal life. You've helped me want to start looking for a new normal, and to fight for what I want. So please keep setting boundaries because you're amazing. You need to take care of yourself for you ❤️

I try to reign in my online interactions (I don't do very well, I comment too much and annoy some ppl I think djfjjf) because I tend to be misunderstood a lot. I hope my sincerity is clear. Because you really are fantastic, and it's not fair for people to push you 😣

you made me cry with your words and understanding😭

pressure is such a struggle to be under. like I sometimes wonder if I should take another break but I love writing and I love posting for you guys. there is a line between loving a story and just being curious to when im posting next and sending me ask after ask and messages wondering and pushing me to post the next chapter.

its hard for me even now going through the trial of getting my diagnosis (still going through it unfortunately) but my biggest diagnosis so far is pots. it is so hard for me to understand why my body does what it does and I even fainted for the first time today helping my grandma in the kitchen. my heart rate was in the 170's and I almost gave my grandma a heart attack. just standing up from the couch my heart rate skyrockets and I go into prescyncope (which means im about to faint but don't). fatigue is a real struggle every day and some days are better than others.

I also learned last week that people with pots have a quality of like likened to those on dialysis with kidney failure. that's hard to grasp and understand. a normal life is hard to imagine sometimes and feels impossible.

it truly is a choice between eating and taking care of yourself some days. sometimes its even hard to get out of bed.

im am so happy that ive been able to help uplift you and help you believe that normal is possible for you. I understand being terrified of your future and I completely get where those thoughts come from. I hope that the both of us get everything we want from life and our disabilities don't hold us back.

thank you so much for your ask and your kind and understanding words.

[krewekreep]

Introduction of Sorts + Interests

This page will really be for me to get back into writing, develop my writing and indulge myself. I’m open to requests though but ask people to definitely contextualize your Bias (person you’re requesting for—yes I’m gonna use K-pop lingo oh well) and/or the scenario cause otherwise I’d simply write for myself. Which is why I also am making this page because I’ve been on tumblr for 10 years (my main account turned ten this year) and I’m worn out of the smut fest no prose or story fics. Definitely has its place in the community but the older I get the more I need actual full blown delusion. I need scene, setting, set up, climax, denouement…and so I’ll fulfill the order myself. 🫡

My interests:

(Im a 2010s coded Tumblr user so uh, I mean I suppose Dr Who and Supernatural aren’t 😂😂😂😂lmao ew anyway (I was into supernatural I’m ewwing at you and myself) .

Too I usually am not following everything that’s mainstream (I know im so cool) so also if something isn’t listed I most likely know of it—but went no further. I also like older anime and media so if you have something super specific that feels out of place no worries. Im gonna end up writing Greek smut about Dionysus so…🤷🏾‍♀️

Anime: (I’ve seen actually too much anime to name so here’s the ones I have a bias or have an affinity for the characters)

JJK,

Chainsaw Man

Bleach

Naruto

Demon Slayer

Attack on Titan

Fate Series

Etc

Manga:

JJK

Chainsaw Man

Bleach

Attack on Titan

Spy x Family

DanDanDan

Berserk

Etc

Fave genres are horror/seinen, shoujo, and slice of life.

KPOP: (1st-mid 3rd Gen main but still aware of 4th gen pretty deeply)

I dont really want to do requests for idols but I don’t mind overall, explained further below

My fave boy groups (somewhat in order): Big Bang, Shinee, BAP, BTS (ex-army, long story**, don’t come to my page with that bullshit 💕) B1A4, IKON, EXO, 2PM, GOT7…I could go on. (I’m not gonna list them in an order but my heart can’t not include MBLAQ, Teen Top, U-Kiss, etc ugh those were the days😭)

Girl Groups (in definitive order): 2NE1, Brown Eyed Girls, F(x), Girls Generation, TWICE, 4Minute/Hyuna, Wonder Girls, Secret, After School, Global Icon (short lived), Tiny G ( VERY short lived), EXID, Ladies Code, etc.

Now 4th Gen…is cute…they got CUTE people that’s for sure. This list will be co-ed simply because I’m not feral for boy groups like I was younger. Really the boy groups don’t do it for me (4th gen overall criticism tbh) cause it’s really looks and kinda arrogant personalities I find obnoxious given y’all can’t even publicly date or be seen smoking…tone down the elitist vibe lol. But shade aside I do jam some things and have a playlist for my fave 4th gen songs so for sure no hate just a BOMBASTIC side eye sometimes. Anyway…

Stray Kids

Aespa

Lessaraffim (I’m gonna leave it like my mind spells it, enjoy)

NCT 127 (specifically them ((in reference to the units)) cause I enjoy R&B coded K-pop, they do too much Niggaboo shit (looking at Mark and Taeyong DIRECTLY in the eyes 👁️👄👁️)((BUT it’s a Soo Man thing cause him, YG, and JYP competing over who wish they were a born a Black man the most…Soo Man and JYP ✨fist fighting✨over the top spot IYKYK)

New jeans (they’re minors and if they all aren’t their def much younger than me so no requests for minors please this is for taste assessment only)

BIBI and other female soloists (Hyuna, Sunmi, Ga-in, Lee Hyori, etc)

IVE (they really got some bops tbh, this is another TWICE case of let these young women talk and sing how they naturally would…music and live performances will thank them for it)

Nobody really else I guess honorable mentions are Ateez, Fifty-fifty,

———————————————————————

*im gonna add that for Anime/Manga the double dipping means some combination of me knowing the material in both forms of media. Like Jujutsu Kaizen is an amazing example currently as of course the anime is ongoing but the manga is far ahead by a large portion of plot. So if your anime only, manga only, or something be sure to let me know so I’m not spoiling by accident. Don’t want the smut to spoil a character death or something….right? 😅

**the long story short and overall caveat of why I’ve fallen out of love for groups and K-pop are the fact that yeah as a Black person I genuinely started getting pissed off with colorism, n-word usage, appropriation, and mockery. The shit gets old and as a poor old super fan I’m happy I didn’t spend the money people do for folks who would literally refuse my hand…🫤 be fr. Likewise, the deaths of idols who were literally my biases really (of course) bothered me and took a toll on my enjoyment of the genre too. The more you love it the more you learn and that’s usually where the fun ends and now it’s numbers charts and placements. Lame 😭. I let the time I was fan be that but otherwise ? Eh I’m good I’ll bop from time to time and catch the tea but my bread in my pocket (besides my B1A4 What’s Happening and Twice Scientist albums😂)((and the other old albums I’ll get before they disappear forever or get destroyed🫠))

But yeah that’s that on that. I’ll be posting whatever ends up decent enough to be read by others. Otherwise wherever this ends up hope you drop a message🥸!

[menalez]

Hii mena! Its okay if i rant for a bit? 😭 i peaked (more or less) recently and it feels so. isolating i guess. It has done wonders for my mental health and my self esteem though! The pressure of being femenine and wearing make up and shaving and trying to fit in etc is gone (at least the pressure i used to put on myself) so ive stopped feeling like shit whenever i had to conform to any of that. The problem is that the entirety of my circle of friends, whom i love dearly, are libfems and very alligned with gender ideology (we live in a VERY gendie positive place). So. While i obviously hang out and talk a lot with them Ive started to get weird looks from them whenever i wear smth that shows my unshaved legs or critique anything having to do with idk plastic surgery and diets (thats a topic that idk why comes up A LOT because some of them like to discuss which procedures would they like to get and how much they cost anddd i didnt realize why i felt so uneasy with that and how fucked up it is until i peaked i guess). Ive tried gently critiqueing it whenever it came up, because i honestly feel like my self esteem drops whenever they start to talk about it, but i only receive weird looks and eye rolls and whatevs. And like. I love them, i really do, and its really hard for me to make friends and im lucky to have them. But lately whenever i get back home from hanging with them i feel ugly and dirty and inadequate and like maybe i should either stop talking to them or start shaving and fitting in again. Idk. One of them texted me today and asked if im still a girl or im nonbinary. I just wish they would listen to me and my perspective but im really afraid that i will labeled as a terf because thats like instant harassment at the art college im going rn. This is really badly worded and im sorry but im kind of a mess :") i just wanted to know if you have any word of advice. Thanks in advance :(

congrats on reaching this point anon!! your friends sound .. awful honestly. but you should know their logic and what will get through to them better than me, especially since you held similar beliefs relatively recently. if it were me i would’ve answered that friend asking if ur nonbinary by first asking her why she asked that and why she thinks that. if she points out stuff like body hair or not wearing makeup or not being feminine, i’d say that those things don’t mean someone isn’t a woman & it’s enforcing gender roles to say they’re necessary for women to do. use their language and their logic when contradicting them. when criticising plastic surgery, think of what they care about and what would make them listen. if they’re anti-capitalism bring up how it’s a capitalist ploy. if they care about feminism, talk about how plastic surgery advertising involves fuelling the insecurities of women for profit. it depends on what their priorities are and u can bring up many things to appeal to what they care about. if they care about ur feelings u can also try to find a way to gently tell them that they’ve been making u feel insecure / bad about urself and it makes it hard for u to live ur life as u want to. hopefully they’d at the very least respect that, if not … perhaps finding new friends even if difficult is better for u

[murdoc]

this is a weird post to make, but i dont really have many places to say it and i wanna share my thoughts Somewhere lol

so i found my dad after more than a decade of being out of contact with him (probably since 2010? at latest, very early 2011). or rather, after every few years of searching for a little while and coming up fruitless, he made a new facebook less than three weeks ago and i just happened to get Really lucky timing.

just before him i had also found my (former) step sister + mom, as well as my half sister (all sisters younger than me and previously i couldnt find), and.. its a strange experience to finally see people who used to be so close to you in your life show uo again, visibly older and doing their own thing.

its hard to explain.. its almost like youve woken up from a coma. you have memories and have had dreams of these people for years and years and during that time you never really realized that the image you have of them was one trapped in amber; even when youre cognizant of the passage of time, your mind just can't take into consideration the individualized process of aging, both physically and where the passage of time will take them and their relationships. you realize these people are now essentially strangers to you.

my (former) step mom has remarried again and has her own set of children (again), one of my step uncles ended up passing away, my step sister is no longer how i remembered her in 2007 from one of the few photos i have of her in my possession and is posting hippie white woman stuff on her feed, my half sister doesnt share my last name (paternal) anymore, nor her mother or new husband's, whom she is having a child with. i was able to figure out it was her because of the name and how she looks strikingly like her mom and has photos with my dad in them.

my dad himself has aged significantly since he's last shared a photo of himself anywhere. he used to always wear hats, but in a new photo he's got solid white hair despite being in his early 40s and is balding (HE did this to me..) and finally learned what glasses suit his face better LMAO. honestly, he looks better now than he ever did when i've seen him. which i think was one of the biggest shockers because god he looked so lame. this also gives me hope for myself B)

the thing i noticed the most though is how "normal" him and my half sisters turned out. granted, he was always so much more put together than my mother-- i'm sure thats why they didnt really like each other lmao. but, while im not sad about my life, even if it's definitely different than i assumed for my age, i can't help but wonder where i'd be if i had allowed myself to overcome the fear of my mother and went to go live with my dad like we had planned in 2008 or 2009.

however, just from how hard it has been to piece together the state of that side of my family, i don't think any speculation could even be remotely accurate. ive also never really been one to dwell on what could be anyway. at the end of the day i cant undo how horrific my childhood was, but i can make steps to grow from it and learn to love who i am and where i am now.. for how cheesy that sounds 😭

i am glad i finally got a bit of closure on this though. i knew my dad was still around somewhere, but not knowing anything beyond "he's alive" for so long left me with a lot of questions, now mostly answered. it's nice to know he seems to be doing good and that he's there for my younger sisters (not sure about my step sister, but i have an additional half sibling that i never met beyond a few times as a toddler and it seems she's fine too). i know that social media doesn't tell all and is usually finely curated to share the best moments, but i'm saying this in comparison to my mother who would never in a million years do what he seems to be doing.. down to having custody of his kids LMAO.

i don't think i'll ever reach out to any of them though. i know my dad still thinks of me once in a blue moon, as he's dedicated a birthday post to me some years ago on a now deleted profile, but if you can imagine.. i think my change in the last 13 years or so is a bit more drastic than just growing up. not to mention they have their own lives going on and it all seems just fine.

i guess if he ever does try to find me, he'll find out that my former step uncle (different one who is still alive) who teased him about only having girls was wrong LMAO. but i dont think he could ever find me unless he got in contact with my older sister who isn't doing too hot rn, or my mother.... and if it's my mom he goes through, i sure as hell hope he thinks finding his now son was worth it. i sure as hell wouldnt go through talking with my mom if i was him.

i dont think i ever made a post so long and detailed about my life on here??? if someone fsr actually read this... hi :) why did you do that? you are silly

[snickerdoodlles]

I have finally learned the real reason why I haven't change my username yet...how else would I know my tumblr year in review.....

(jk)

Anyways, only posting the relevant things;

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@/zeldahime

@/rythyme

@/snow-and-saltea

@/likestoimagine16

@/aethersea

^ this makes me laugh, because Emily should actually be the top 4 spots here 🤣 most of my reblogs are from her, except she sends them to me directly. some friends curate tumblr via your dash, other curate them via DMs

*edit: IM SORRY I THOUGHT I REMOVED THE MENTIONS THE FIRST TIME AROUND

I tagged 7,946 of my posts in 2022

#q* - 5,920 posts ← doesn't count, i do almost everything via queue 🙄

#bad buddy - 634 posts ← LISTEN IKIVE SLOWED DOWN BUT ITS STILL GOING STRONG IN MY HEART 😭😭😭😭😭😭 cannot WAIT for my break, im going to bury myself in blankets for 24hrs and watch only THEM there will be SO many tears

#kinnporsche - 561 posts ← hahahahahahahaha hello new obsession, im not letting you go any time soon ❤

#hey yuu - 471 posts ← HEY YUU ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

#the untamed - 242 posts ← lol

#mdzs - 239 posts ← LOLLLL

#writing woes - 187 posts ← ........hahahahahahahaha

#jeff satur - 160 posts ← i feel exposed

#not me - 130 posts ← i found a bunch of unposted meta for them in my drafts, now im wondering if i should've posted those after all...

#kinnporsche cast - 100 posts ← THEY'RE GOOFS I CAN'T HELP IT

Longest Tag: 124 characters

#👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀 ← i have no idea what this post is for because tumblr says it doesn't exist but i am 90% sure it's a fucking jeff satur post..... he is my favorite menace ❤

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Chay’s living the Wattpad dream life, Pete’s living the manic AO3 dream

210 notes - Posted October 31, 2022

#4

actually one of my favorite little details in ep12 was pat and pran taking graduation pics with uncle tong and junior. not only because their relationship with those two is absolutely delightful and im so glad they kept their connection to these two strangers from the beach that signified two huge shifts in their relationship, but specifically because we don’t see any graduation pictures with the parents

their parents are still fighting. ming hasn’t apologized, dissaya’s still upset. pat and pran cannot be open about their relationship with them. but this doesn’t change pat and pran--they’re going to keep on loving each other and living together. it’s their parents who will miss out on the milestones. so long as they hold onto their grudge, they will only get the filtered parts of their sons’ lives. until they learn to forgive and move forward, they will lose chances to make memories. but pat and pran? they’re still going to be living their lives to the fullest with their own found family until then

324 notes - Posted January 21, 2022

#3

(x) EMERGENCY EMERGENCY IM ABOUT TO FUCKING D I E

351 notes - Posted February 1, 2022

#2

WIꓘ says DON’T DO DRUGS KIDS

- this is an (un)official D.A.R.E. PSA

*Edit: made for from concrete fic

399 notes - Posted November 27, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

it took a kidnapping, an explosion, a confrontation with his brother, his life getting entirely uprooted, AND a bad breakup with his boyfriend to make Chay cry. the second time he cried still took another home ping pong match, another attempted kidnapping, his brother nearly dying, his mother returned from the dead, AND the emotional equivalent of a cannonball in the form of his ex-he’s-maybe-definitely-not-over soulfully wailing why don’t you STAYYYYYY

Kim broke up with the boy he likes then cried over their date polaroids

they are not the same

1,331 notes - Posted August 28, 2022

👆 i should not find these top 5 posts as funny as i do but i really do

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[sistervirtue]

ok so my crush is my best friend ive known since birth. i dont even know where to start with him because he feels like everything to me. crush doesnt even feel anywhere close to describing it i genuinely feel hes the love of my life and he does so much for me i sometimes wonder if im bringing anything to the table (i am and i know i am) juet because he makes me feel so much more complete and capable and whole and ahhh everything. i know he cares about me and loves me and we say it everytime we talk and what started as joking about getting married and being in love is now 100% genuine to me and i know hes not lying per se but im not sure how deep it goes on his end and ive tried genuinely confessing several times and its just so similar to the way we talk to each other regularly that it doesnt go anywhere bc he just takes it as banter. hes said to my face that hes terrible at identifying flirting and people need to be direct (which. why did he feel the need to tell me that LOL) and theres a million things i can say and ive asked out everyone ive ever dated and i KNOW no matter what ill be the one to make the first move (this is not a bad thing, im a very honest and forward person and im used to it and like it this way it just gets a bit stressful sometimes) but like. ok this is kinda late to mention but hes aro but weve both talked about our complicated feelings about romance and relationships and such bc i have a very hard time maintaining feelings for someone after we get together (idk why its pretty annoying lol) and he can be very interested in dating one day and have no interest the next and i dont want to ask him out and him to feel guilty for not being interested in a romantic relationship with me or like. at all and i really dont want him to feel guilty and i know he will if i can manage to confess outright and the answer is no bc anxiety 😭😭 and if we did get together im terrified of losing feelings for him because he means so much to me and to lose that seems dreadful and i genuinely cannot imagine a world without him because he like. is the only person who helps me focus and got me to do college dorm stuff and a million other things i couldnt convince myself to and also like. were moving into dorms together this fall 😭😭 like if i ask him out and it goes sideways for any reason were going to live together and like. hes my oldest friend and i doubt our relationship would be so easy to destroy but im scared ill do it anyways ☹☹

oh man.....what a situation to be in

i agree that i dont think a romance confession would destroy your relationship, though, even if you get turned down. most of my exes and i remained amicable after breaking up, and when i turned people crushing on me down, i never got the impression that we should stop being friends. the line between friendship and romance is pretty thin.

either way, i hope it works out for you

[hueningshaped]

beffie i'm about to start having trouble differentiating your replies from mine because we're literally 🧠🟰🧠 "u are most definitely right if it means that ur always right and correct <3" SHUTUPPPP how do you always best me i'm blushing so hard,,,. stop this madness . omg YES the GOGGLES!!!!!! although his short hair is gorgeous as well i have to admit that his long hair is my absolute favorite on him<3 my vacations are also only during summer+winter break and it's ALSO me visiting my family who lives far away😭😭 i think my number 1 fear is actually ... pigeons........ i hate them so much and they seem to know since they always come my way😐 plus i get kinda scared in the dark as well especially when i don't have my glasses on because then everything starts looking a little too human for my liking😀 and no stop because YOU'RE the funny one of us!!! it's all YOU!!!!! i'm always like 😆😆 when i read through your blog!! plus u invented using emojis in a cute way why am i the one receiving praise🤨 "u make me feel appreciated and its a not very familiar feeling" i am about wreak havoc because why are you not being told how amazing and lovely and adorable you are every second of the day❓❓also how did u literally read my mind THAT HYUKA PHOTOSHOOT!!!! it's the exact reason i chose blond as my favorite color on him because when i first saw it i could feel my breath getting fainter . he's so gorgeous it is unfair :/ no way you actually played the violing😭😭😭😭 it's always been one of the instruments i wanted to learn right alongside the piano!!! i can't believe this omg ALSO my mbti is infp!! i'm not very knowledgeable about mbti but from what i've read about the descriptions of mine it basically means having no grip on reality🫥🫥 it's very fitting LMAO do you like astrology?? i think it's super interesting and when i read through my chart i felt like i was being watched because why is it so accurate🤨 although i'm not very knowledgeable about astrology either but i love reading about it!! omg,,, a gift,,, i genuinely can't wait to listen to the playlist!!!!! thank😭you😭so😭much😭 plus the beoms</3 what did i do to deserve u😔 also!!! i've had this meme sitting in my notes since i saw that you like mitski and i meant to send it to you in my last ask but i completely forgot😐 stay happy and healthy bff I LOVE U!!!!!🫶🏻😽🌺🫂💘 -🧃

my sweet glorious 🧃i don’t mean to make myself sound smart or anything but SINCE OUR BRAINS ARE SO 🧠=🧠, i’m thinking it’s bc of big brain energy 😯 (have to keep my messages concise since tumblr is against our love letters 😔), BUT im very very sorry for again taking so long to get back to you ! i feel that there’s a threat of this becoming a habit but really it was due to another obstacle i had trouble getting over and uh😔 i want you to know i only ever thought about replying to you and the joy i feel from communicating with u but anyway i digress ~ long hair beomgyu was just so perfect ive never loved a hairstyle more in my life ! it’s also ur impeccable taste for liking bg and his hair and txt hehe and aw why must our families live far away :( well at least they provide vacations for us in seeing them but still i hope you enjoy yourself and have fun !! “when everything starts looking a little human” oh god that always terrifies meee but anyway no but seriously you’re the funny and iconic one ok ☹️ im but a button, just a button ! all my giggles and smiles are only used when reading ur message hehe therefore reading ur ask = +5 years of life btw you’re the one whos lovely and amazing adorable cool wonderful etc ok 😒 and i know for a fact !!! it can’t be refuted ~! and ive always wanted to learn the piano ugh !! do u have any other hobbies :0 im always talking about useless little things i do haha omg UR INFP!? every time i come across someone infp they’re always the coolest people ever (not clickbait ‼️) the way they perceive problems and how to solve and their perspectives [you] is very admirable to me :”) and ik very little about astrology >< im pretty curious about it all i know is im a capricorn what’s ur sign :0 there were a few playlists i considered so i hope that one is at least decent to listen to (when u have time^^) 🧸 hey i do nothing for u and the beoms are complimentary as always <3 OMG THAT MEME WHJFJSJ new fav meme :”) ty for sending it to me 🥹🥹 im on another trip out of town 😭 also do u like cats or dogs or do u have a preference 😨 sorry im asking such childish questions goshhhh also this tiktok made me laugh beomgyu so funny + this era 🥹❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥 and also this compilation of beomgyu going :> is so precious im sorry im not talking about anything really and this isn’t much of a nice reply to ur ask but i just think i talk too much and im just took xcited to have a message out there to let u know im answering and im here for u and i care about u so much i love you hopefully i get maintenance to go through my skull so i can go back to normal anyways i hope that you’re doing well and being happy and healthy always 🫶🏼 take care — all my love to you ♥️ ALSO WAIT DID U SEE BEOMGYU NEW BLACK HAIR??! i just saw as i was gonna hit send haha omg i wonder if soobin is going blond and i heard hyuka might go red 😯😯😯 ANYWAY te AMO <3 — beoms + the infamous flannel

[wildernessuntothemselves]

I AM NOT STRONG I AM ABSOLTELY NOT STRONG

I DID CRY

FUCKKKKKK. here are some quotes of me to my friend while reading

“Oh my baby, you’ve gone insane. You can’t handle the rejection from him so you’re blaming it on me and now my family too.”

❄️: “NAUR NOT THE GASLIGHTING”

friend: “not so girlboss”

❄️: “oh fuck its goin down” ““youre mine” STFU”

friend: oh nooo

You swallow down the ball of terror that occludes your throat. “I want to go to my room.” You request shakily, “Please.”

❄️: “shes scared-“ “this is not girlboss at all” “Omg we got a letter from the taehyun” “YUHHH IT FINALLY CAME THROUGH” “a maid smuggled it in”

friend: “LOVE THAT MAID”

❄️: “PERIODDD”

my reaction to reader wearing a slutty outfit:

❄️: “WE ARE GIRLBOSSING” “DRESSED LIKE A SLUT” “AAAAS WE SHOULD”

me reaction to soobin being scared off by beomgyu:

❄️: “so much for making friends🥲”

“I can do what I want.” You seethe, “You wanted me to be a whore so bad. Why are you mad now when I act like it?”

❄️: “OHOHOHOHO” “PERIOOODD YUHH”

reaction to beomgyu saying the princess wont ever take y/ns place:

❄️: “EW THE SWITCH UP” and the most german reaction ever “IGITT” which means ew but worse “WE DONT FEEL NEGLECTED WE WANT YOU TO FUCK OFF” me @.beomgyu

him being all nice in town and helping the commoners

❄️: “hes being nice rn” “i dont wanna forgive” “remember ❄️ hes a dick” “NO BC IM A SUCKER FOR PPL WHO DO NICE THINGS” “also a sucker for manipulators so…well”

“You attack your father over that whore?” The king spits, slapping the prince across the face. “I have half a mind to let the guards take her right here in front of you so you’ll realize what she truly is.”

❄️: “mom please pick me up im scared😀😀😀😀😀” no srsly i was abt to shit my pants the part with the king scared the f outta me

your eyes fly open in apprehension to see him holding a dagger.

❄️: “BRO FOR A SECOND I THOUGHT HE WAS GONNA FUCKING CUT Y/N” like carve his name into her or smth- I TOTALLY WOULDVE EXPECTED HIM TO DO THAT “this was traumatising” “fucking dickhead” “i wanna hug y/n and tell her everything will be okey ☹️”

ALL OF THIS LIVE REACTIONS OF MINE

i am now traumatized for life and miss tae and want him to safe and accept us more than ever but he also sounded sus in his letters so IDK ANYMORE

beomgyu has absoltely lost it tho and the fact EVERYONE in the castle was in on it???? WHAT THE FUCK

this broke not only y/n but also me FUCKKKKKKK

one thing this goes to y/n if she was real and i could talk to her

baby virginity is a social construct, no man will EVER be able to take something from you and make you be worth-less NEVER is anyone gonna do that, he took you forcefully which means if virginity means something to you… you are still a virgin, if something gets stolen from you its still yours. baby i love you do NOT let him break you

i am so done this was amazingly written seriously you have such a way of getting me immersed? into the story the way you write is amazing and this def was a emotional roller coster

ill out myself by saying i read loser lover many times and also the latest ch. of yamqn probably 3-4 times… and yeah i can see myself reading this ch again as well and then crying some more😭😭😭😭

-❄️

not you traumatizing your friend with my story 😂

i love the live reaction! i sometimes write lines and think "ohh i wonder what my readers will think of this" lol thanks for the german lesson could always use a more powerful form of ew 😂

sometimes the people who appear the most charitable can be the most evil ✊🏼😔

ngl the king scared me too lol imagine being oc in that moment

ahaha a repeat of iyym felix nooo

tyun does sound a bit sus. it's the hint for his flaw so good on ya for picking up on that

and yes all you said about virginity. unfortunately in a society like where yamqn takes place virginity is a real currency. men won't take her as a wife now that she's "ruined" 🤢

[scribbledghost]

okay for whatever the author game thing was- IM SORRY I DIDNT SCREENSHOT THE TITLE ONLY THE ONES I NEEDED 2 REMEMBER FUCKSNSNDBD. but anyways <3 ur like . (2 me). halfway between the live streamer & the cryptid. sort of i didnt think u particularly fit into any of them perfectly so😭😭 i need 2 explain myself here. so the live streamer . like in my opinion u deserve a thousand million notes bc u write w such care & love & honestly the fluff u write for whiskey ... unparalleled , perfect, showstopping, incredible. I LOVE IT SO MUCH OH MY GOD I WISH PPL WOULD FIND IT U DESERVE THAT MORE THAN ANYTHING😭😭😭. also bc the amount of headcanons u have .... it is . i am constantly astounded. ur headcanons are the perfect perfect perfect format for my brain i know i already told u that but still & the fact u have so many of them it is like aaaaaaaaaaa ... surprise this is everything i want!! i dont think ur characterisation varies a lot though so thats why u dont fit so much😭 though , absolutely the last bit abt reading ur work thirty times . I AM ALWAYS IN UR MASTERLIST OH MY GOD its like my home at this point. okay the cryptid now: u dont fit at taking a long time at either posting or responding 2 comments bc literally u do not✋ but pls yes absolutely showing up dropping the best fanfic & disappearing . absolutely . anyways thats the essay over lol , i do want 2 say i am so ill rn & delirious so idk if it made no sense or some sense or lots of sense but my brain is 💫🌟✨🎉⭐✨🌟⭐🎉🌟✨⭐🌟 rn so . if this is just words then that is why . IM EITHER SORRY OR NOT SORRY LOL IT DEPENDS ON IF U FIND THIS COHERANT OR NOT😭 but plsssdhsdnsh. okay bye te amo😭😭

the live streamer: the most prolific author in the fandom. their works are all over the front page when you sort by kudos. you have no idea how they generate this much work, and have seriously wondered if they have access to an extra-dimensional time portal. their stories are usually un-beta’d and the characterization varies wildly, but their best works are inspired and you’ve read them 30 times.

the cryptid: this one comes out of nowhere every two years, drops the best fanfic you’ve ever read, and disappears. fifteen months after you left a three paragraph comment about how they changed your life, you get a message in your inbox that just says “thanks.”

FBEHSHDJEK MY LOVEEEE

ok so first of all whenever I see u pop up in my inbox my heart goes !!!! Cause I love your messages hdbehxje

But anyway, thank you so so much!!!!! Part of me wants to be a prolific author but then another hand I don’t want the mass amounts of attention rhehdhejek. Like. Maybe I can just be in between lmaooo like get a good chunk of notes but stay low key enough to where no one makes a TikTok abt me.

And I cannot thank you enough for enjoying my work enough to read it more than once!! That makes me so so happy!! 💕❣️💖💗💜💞💙

[goldenjunngkook]

hiii i get what you mean by it making this season feel warmer so true!!🥺 tbh music isnt really a big thing in my family or where i live😭 i even have to remind myself to put on some christmas playlists lol! do you have any favorite christmas songs? also more importantly, what about 1d songs👀 give me a top 10! i love talking about this djkfdsn anyways, my pronouns are she/her but please ur too sweet and definitely not rude!!🥺🥺 also i was wondering, what time does the sun set over there? according to google its 16:30 where you are and here it would already be getting dark around that time, these days i feel ready to go to bed at 6pm😔 do you have that too? i hope you have a great rest of your day/evening!! 💌 your holiday pal

hiiii love, im sorry for not answering before, in my country there is some kind of problem to enter tumblr and i've been a bit far away 😭

i do!! i love christmas songs so im going to give you my top 10 of 1d and my top 5 christmas songs jahdhwjs i love talking about this too 🤍

THIS IS MY (NON) OFFICIAL TOP 10 1D SONGS choosing only 10 is VERY difficult

1. what makes you beautiful (BC IT WAS THE FIRST SONG I HEARD FROM THEM AND I LOVE IT)

2. what a feeling (AND i really want to put here ALL the songs of mitam and midnight memories bc ✨ deserves ✨)

3. home (a.k.a. my love anthem)

4. if i could fly (CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT HARRY WRITTEN THIS SONG? IT'S LIKE WTF HOW COULD HE MAKE A STATEMENT LIKE THAT. THAT'S SICK)

5. no control (it's very hot that's why)

6. steal my girl (i confess it's my favorite song to sing in the shower lmao)

7. story of my life (i cried a lot the first time i saw the music video)

8. wolves (this fucking song goes well with any dance scene from a musical pls i love it so much 😭 jkjajsja)

9. little black dress (it was my best friend's favorite song)

10. where do broken hearts go (this song is just... 😭🤩 at the same time, you know what i mean? lol)

christmas songs:

1. rockin' around the christmas tree - brenda lee (listen, you can imagine me making christmas cookies while i dance in the kitchen and this song plays in the background jajzjaj)

2. holly jolly christmas- michael bublé (I like this version)

3. let it snow, let it snow, let it snow - frank sinatra

4. jingle bells - frank sinatra

5. jingle bell rock - bobby helms

and answering your other question here the sun sets around 17:30 almost 18:00 and it gets completely dark around 19:00 and oh my god jahsja as long as i have to work every day i want to go to bed very early 😭 it's like i just wanna get home and hug my cats and sleep but living alone has the great disadvantage that i have to do the housework 😔 jahsja

NOW give me your top 10 songs from 1d pls i want to know how many we have in common