#haz//bin ho//tel

[snzysimper]

I haven’t seen any art of Lucifer yet, so I decided I’d take initiative and just do it myself.

I like to think that he doesn’t like sneezing openly in front of people because sometimes his wings will pop out and it will draw unwanted attention to himself. He will usually stifle if he is in mixed company. If it’s just him and Lilith then he doesn’t mind as much. She will tease him about it of course.

“Aww, is my little angel allergic to the feathers from his own wings?”

[stuffdtothemaxx]

I’ve watched Haz//bin Ho//tel + Hell//uva Bo//ss over the last few weeks and there’s a few characters that I think would be fun to fatten up:

Luc//ifer: Someone love this man unconditionally and give him all the best that hell has to offer!! He deserves it!!

Ad//am: listen the first time we meet this bitch he’s going down on some ribs (haha get it cuz E//ve was made from his rib) and he just looks like he has a gut yknow. And he’d be so bossy about it too

V//ox: I think it would be so poetic if his perfect appearance was very slowly ruined but he doesn’t care and simply hypnotizes people to see the ideal version of him

Sto//las: HE NEEDS LOVE OKAY. I WANNA SEE HIM OVERDO IT WHILE WATCHING A SOAP OPERA

Bli//tzø: dude has so much trauma and he needs to be loved and cared for okay

[snzysimper]

How the fuck did I not see this??

Hideaway

hi friends! here’s my first fic on this blog, i hope i do it justice! and thanks sm to the anon who sent in this request, i hope you enjoy! <3 now here’s 1.8k of sick sneezy alastor

~

It’s not exactly out of the ordinary for no one to have eyes on Alastor for quite some time, however it seems that he’s been missing from the hotel for nearly the entire day now.

“I’m just saying, it’s odd,” Charlie explains to a very uninterested Vaggie. It seems not everyone harbors the same worry in their heart for one of Hell’s Overlords. “We’d usually see him around, like, once or twice! Now it’s just radio silence. Literally.”

“I’m sure he’ll turn up soon enough,” Vaggie says with a lot less concern about the situation than her girlfriend. “It’s not exactly odd for that creepy fucker to go lurking around. I give him a day until he’s back.”

If only that were actually the case and Alastor were truly gallivanting around all of Hell without a care in the world. Instead, it seems he’s found himself in a rather unamusing predicament.

“Ḧ̸̳́̽͛̂̒̾̃̍͗̄̋͘’̷͍̹͇͉̓̀D̶̟̺͑̌̆̇̀̓̊̾̉̃̑̍͛̚͠Z̸͈̖̪̝̪̪͉̜͗́͆͌̒̋́̓̂͛͝͠Z̷̡̗̘̼̜̞̲͈̣͖̦͖͘Z̸̢̧̼͓̤̝̺̤̗̼̀̆ͅH̷̢̪̥͙̟̭̺̭̖͍̯̪̉!̶̢͖̳̙̦̙̗̩͍̟͌̃̌̉͒͑͗͜͜”̴̡̫͈̹̳̺̩͍̟̾̽̍͜͝͠

The sound of feedback in his ears makes Alastor wince, but luckily no one seems to be around to have seen that moment of weakness. Not that any lesser soul unfortunate enough to cross his path and witness the sorry state he’s in can’t simply be extinguished with minimal effort, he would still prefer to get to Rosie’s as soon as possible.

And hopefully his nose will stop buzzing when he’s there.

The residents of Cannibal Town know better than to greet Alastor with anything other than the utmost respect, but they aren’t ones to unnecessarily fall at the feet of a more powerful being. For that, Alastor is actually grateful for.

Getting to Rosie’s Emporium is easier said than done, but no one other than himself needs to know that. Not even Rosie. Unfortunately, even an Overlord of Hell isn’t immune to catching a terrible cold, but it’s making his muscles ache and he feels distinctly weak.

Weak

If there’s one person he knows for sure won’t take advantage of his misery, it’s Rosie. Their relationship has always been a special one, helping each other out whenever need be with very few strings attached for such powerful beings. Compared to other favors he’s had to ask, this one is particularly benign.

The first challenge that presents itself are the other patrons of Rosie’s Emporium who currently have no idea they are on one of the Overlords of Hell’s hit list right now. “Oh my goodness, Alastor! It’s lovely to see you here dearie!”

A warm welcome. One that would be much appreciated if Alastor didn’t need the patrons out yesterday. “Yes, yes, I thought I’d pay a visit to my good friend. There’s something I’d like to talk about if you’d lend me an ear—not literally this time, I’m afraid!”

Rosie laughs at the joke, but Alastor can already tell she’s picked up on his unusual behavior if his disheveled (by his standards) appearance wasn’t already enough to go by. “Alastor, dear, I always have time for you. Let me just finish up with a few customers and we can get right away, how’s about that?”

Alastor can already feel the buzzing sensation in his nose getting more intense by the minute. If he doesn’t get away soon, he’s going to—

“Well, then I hope you don’t mind if I take a bit of a look around the store while I wait. I must say, it’s been quite some time since I’ve last paid you a visit! Toodle loo!”

It’s rushed and worse than the usual quick-witted response Alastor could give on the spot, but the last thing he’s going to do is show any kind of weakness in front of a bunch of patrons. If word got out about the Radio Demon being brought down by a silly cold, he’ll never be able to live that down. He can always get rid of one or two unsuspecting passersby in the exact right place and time to witness Alastor’s downfall, but even he can hardly control the spread of gossip amongst an entire town. That’s more in line with the Vees’ skill set.

Quickly, he finds an unoccupied bathroom and ensures that no one is within earshot.

“H̶̬̮̻͔̯̥̤̪́̑͋͋͜Ḩ̸̧̡͈̖̹͇̜̤͍̗͇̻͂̓͛̃͆͝͠’̸̣̺̯̲͍̞͕̳̣̯̿̅̅͛̒N̶͉̺͖̯̟͇͉͎̣̈́̄̋̊̒̄͐͆G̶̛̭͇̪͍̬̳̼̦̎̈́͜K̸̛̛̪̞̉̇͆̿͝͝T̵̲̤͔̈́͂! H̷̭̳̤̗̻͙̀͆̉̓͋͋͑̕͠Ȟ̵̰̥̲̳̱́̍͜͜’̷͇͕͙̰͓̪̭̞͎̋̀͜D̸̢̡̛͇̜̪̱͖̥̝̯̱̃̀́̉̄͜͝Ź̶͇͎̠̟̹̫͈͌̿͒̓͋̈́̃̆̃̿͑̚͠Z̵̧͉͓̔͐́̀͐̈́̋͛Z̶̲̬̠̠͎̩͒̆̎̄̃̿̄̒͆̇̉̓̎͠Ḩ̴̢̢̛͈̔̋͗̈̊̎̀̎̀̎͌̂͝͝! H̶̡̨̠̮͉̱͕̜̼̱̬̫̲̽̀̂̀͆͐͜H̵̛͐̾͌̓͑̔͊̆͊͌̕͝͝��̨̗̘̹͚̰̝̬̱’̶̨͕̗͙̝͕̯̬̯̮̹͛̎͘T̴̡͖̳̱̟̫̫̰̀̂͂̃̀͋͂̕͠ͅS̴͓̘̪̫̼͉̻͈̰̟̈̀̊̍̿̀̓̋͋͛̀͌͝Ḫ̷̙̩̦̤̞͇̟̘̐̐̇͒̀́̈́̑̔̀̏̂͝͠͝H̶̤̺̣̾̃́̆͑̿̃ͅ!”

The buzzing is incessant and the faint sound of radio static begins to fill the bathroom, a true testament to his lack of control. It shouldn’t be this way, he should be better-composed. He’s supposed to be indestructible, infallible, and completely immune to any kind of illness as silly as a cold.

Unfortunately, however, Hell just doesn’t work like that.

“Ugh…”

His head pounds and he’s begging to feel dizzy. Thankfully, there are worse places to pass out than in the bathroom of a trusted friend’s place, but he has a feeling his pride won’t allow him to do even that. There’s no way he’s going to show weakness, even to himself if he can help it.

Blowing his nose alleviates some of the pressure in his head as well as the sound of radio static in the room, but it doesn’t get rid of the incessant buzzing in his nose. He has a feeling that’s probably going to stick around for a while, as annoying as it is.

That’s when he hears the bathroom door open despite him being completely certain that he’d locked it. “Oh, Alastor, dear, you could’ve just told me you weren’t feelin’ well.”

At least it’s just Rosie. Some of the tenseness in his shoulders relaxes at that. He puts a smile back on his face and turns to face her with the little amount of dignity he still has left. “It seems that even Overlords can be brought down by a simple cold, I’m afraid,” he admits in a joking manner, not willing to admit how terrible he truly feels. “Do be careful, I would hate for you to catch something because of me.”

“Nah, that’s not somethin’ you have to worry your pretty little head about, darling,” Rosie says instead, not willing to accept Alastor playing this off. “Just trust me. I can shut down the shop for the day and make you some nice tea to help with that throat’a yours.”

That’s…nice. As much as Alastor would hate to admit weakness, there’s something about being offered a warm cup of bitter tea when he feels like collapsing on his feet right now. “How could I ever turn down an offer as generous as that? I think I’ll join you for some tea and conversation.”

The “conversation” part is ballsy, even for him, considering he isn’t sure how much longer he can go without sneezing. The buzzing in his nose is continuing to bug him even after he blew his nose. But being cared about tea sounds too nice to turn down.

The shop looks much different without the hustle and bustle of busy Cannibal Town residents. For Hell, Rosie has always managed to keep the place is relatively high spirits, a true feat for anyone unlucky enough to be down here.

“H̵̩̄̾̚͘̚H̴̨̞̥̾͊́’̷̱͓̰́̓͋̀̂D̸͎̱͌͑́͠T̴̜̚C̸̢̛̲̮͙̪̈́̋͗͜Ḩ̴̯̼̭̯͚̐͝!”

Great, now the static is back. And Rosie heard him.

His mask is slipping.

“Goodness, I apologize,” he says, trying to act as unbothered as possible. He can’t tell if Rosie is buying it or not since her back is turned to him, making tea. He grabs his handkerchief and rubs at his nose, hoping that will alleviate some of the annoying buzzing.

“You don’t need to act all tough around me,” Rosie chastises. “Haven’t we known each other for long enough by now? No one else is here right now. You can let your guard down, I’ve got you.”

As reassuring as that is (Rosie’s care is a good one to be in), Alastor isn’t sure he can let himself relax like that. He’s never done it before and he isn’t sure he can do it now, even with aches and soreness all over.

“You do have a way of seeing through everyone, don’t you?” Alastor says, finally letting his guard down. His voice is less animated and his ears begin to droop slightly. Anyone else would take this as an immediate sign to attack the Radio Demon, but not Rosie. Rosie is a friend. Rosie is safe.

“Here you go,” she says, sliding over a hot cup of black tea with no sugar. “That should help with your throat if it isn’t already hurting. But I have a feeling it is and you’re just not tellin’ me.”

“Oh Rosie, do tell me how it feels to be right all the time, hm?” Alastor jests. He didn’t realize how much his throat was actually hurting until he takes the first sip of tea. He tries to stifle the cough that ensues behind a fist, but an unsettling staticky sound emerges anyway.

“It feels lovely, darlin’,” Rosie quips. “But it sounds like your throat doesn’t. I really feel for you—getting sick while also bein’ in Hell? What kinda shitty luck is that?” She bursts into boisterous laughter, which Alastor doesn’t exactly appreciate but lets slide.

“I’ve had worse days, but this one is the shittyhh—

Ḩ̷̰͍̹̖̮̟͂̍͑̒̄Ḥ̸̨̯̥͕̣͙̯̠̳̘͇̀̋̄̂͒́̑͘͜͝’̸̡̡̮͔̪̰̼̖͉̝͈̝̃͗̅͋͗̓͛͌͝E̸̤̦̱͓̭͉͇̠͚͂̽̏̎͌͑̀̋̀͂̕̚͝͠͝D̷̢͎̭͙̹̙̖̭̣̣̮͖̰͖̆̚Ż̶̧̨͖̭͕͉͇̩͉̰͙͍͍̰̥̂́̉͌Z̵̳̲̝̱̦̻͙̰͕̭̪̯͗̈̋̑̍̅̓̌̆̀̔̇͜S̴̨̢̢̛̲̦͔̠͔̻̯̼̥͆ͅH̵͎͋̽̀̅̄̕Û̸̢̩̝͕̾̈́̓͂̽̀̓̉̚! Ugh, ‘scuse mbe. Well, I suppose

there’s certainly no way I can broadcast in this condition, now is there?” Might as well rest here and recuperate before heading back to the hotel, he thinks to himself, especially if Rosie is being so amenable. Wouldn’t want to face her wrath if I tried to walk out of here like this, either.

He can feel his ears drooping at this point, but he doesn’t have the energy or the necessity to keep them pointed upright. Hopefully no sneaky lesser demons are lurking around looking for pictures but Alastor is still confident in his abilities to detect any foul presences, even battling one of the worst colds of his life.

“How’s that hotel business going these days? The princess and her friends still up to their little shenanigans?” Rosie asks, trying to make conversation. Alastor thinks he still has enough energy left for that.

“Always,” he responds, the plastered smile on his face suddenly feeling slightly more genuine. “But it can be such a headache. There’s no way I could possibly be there now, imagine the migraine I would get in my state.” It’s certainly not because the thought of being doted on makes his cold, shriveled heart do funny things inside his chest.

“Just don’t stay here too long,” Rosie suggests. “Of course you’re welcome to stay as long as you’d like, dear, but I’m sure the residents would miss you dearly if you were gone more than a few days. It’s just a matter of time before one of them comes looking for you, you know.”

That, he knows too well. He can practically hear Charlie worrying all the way from the hotel lounge. But there’s no way he can show vulnerability around any of them.

Not yet.

“I’ll make sure to recover quickly, then,” Alastor says, sipping on his tea cup. “Give them nothing to worry about. I’ll be back in no tihh… no time—

“Ḩ̴̤͓̫̖͇̤͊̂́͜H̵̢̢̤̺̩̟̖͍̩̹̗̠̑̈́̈́̀͌͑̾̊͝ͅ’̸͇̈̑͒Ë̶̮̝̗͕͖̳͇̗͕̼̬͖́̐͑̈͋̒̀̄̉̈́̒̾̚͘T̵̛̗͚̰̱̭̘͉̯̝̈́̀̂̏̍̽͋͘͝S̴̡̙̺͎̬̱̘̈̅̏́̇ͅS̴̭̥̑̉̂͛̂̾̏̂̾͗Ḣ̵̢̢̞͕̹̰̯̟̰̯̠̖͕͔̀U̸̮͌͆́̏̂̎̏͝͠! Ȟ̴̱’̵̧̛̘́̏͑̌̔̅̑̀͒͂̽͗̃̄H̴̛͙̮͈̠̻̝̱͖̺̺̺͉̩͙̲̆̒́͆̃̂̕͜Ả̷͉̫̘͋̃̋̽̂͂̆̽̏̍̐̾͌̕͜͝Z̵̧̡̠̻̥̲̙͇̙̠͋͌͛̈́͐͋͊͆̔͆͗͒̍͝Z̶̢͚͓͒̆̈́͊̈̑͠ͅZ̶͉̠̗͇̥̰͎̰̱͙͉̱̜̳̣̉̒̌́̓̓͋̚͠H̸̬͓͚̻͖̣̙̬͌̈́̈́͒͌̒̍̒̌̕͠Ủ̶̧̜̱̺̘̖͖̣̣̙͇̩̣͉̄ͅ! Ḥ̴̨̼̣̩̰͓̗̞̜̘͖̱̊̍͜͝È̵̟͒̄͝’̵̙̱̻̥̼̥̹͈̎̈͋̔̅̋̿̓̔͘͜͜Ḍ̷̠̤͕̞̻̟̻͓̜̱̱̃̊̀̎̈́̓̍̇̏͂̚̕Z̸̡̜͈̝̖̈́͊̾̐̓̾̈̽̎̌̍͛̑̕̚̕Z̶̺̣̯̺̫͇̈́̒̇͒̇͆̄̓̅͋̒H̸̜̳̜̜̉̏̇̿͌̈́̈́́̅̊̒͂͆̇͝��̡̣̤̮Ứ̵̡̙̮͍̣̼̹̠̞̣͕̇̂̑̄̑̔̑̋̎͛̚͝ͅ!”

That damned buzzing in his nose! If it were an enemy, he would be able to eliminate them in nanoseconds. But even the great Alastor can’t fight off a cold without rest and relaxation.

Thankfully, he can get plenty of it at Rosie’s.

[maladyinpink]

🔊 RAINY DAY SOIRÉE ♥︎♠︎- Haz/bin Ho/tel Wav - ♡-Day Special

Projects will always be strictly AI FREE.

Hi All!...HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY! I'm nervous as hell but excited to share my first wav, this Established Husker/Dust Special, with you guys! ART PAGE/MAKING OF

RAINY DAY SOIRÉE - An/gel Du/st comes home from the studio in a hellstorm to find poor Hu/sk, snuggled up with Fat Nuggets and coming down with a cold in his muzzle. The spider affectionately takes care of his bartender beau, but not without catching it himself...Lil vignettes of Husker/dust's shared sick day and soft caretaking.

CW: Long depiction of shared illness, breathy vocal build-ups, loud deep cold sneezing, contagion, higher pitched cold sneezing fits, snotty/honked nose blowing, dry coughing, snzart visuals, blessing, kissing, emotional comfort, spoilers for the Great Gatsby and lots of fluff.

Script, if you guys want to read along, is below...Enjoy!

~ Love, Pink

♥︎♠︎ - Rainy Day Soirée - Script.

(Scene 1 - ANGEL DUST enters the front door of the Hotel in one of the Pride Ring's thundering hellstorms under his Pink umbrella. It's early evening and the lobby is suspiciously empty.)

ANGEL: *Shudders* It's wetter than dick out there!...Shit…Hello? Anybody home?

(Hanging up his coat, ANGEL heads upstairs and unlocks the door to the room he shares with...)

ANGEL: Husk…Honey?...You in here?-

(He's greeted by Fat Nuggets! The hell-hog scampers off the bed and across the floor to see his Daddy at the door)

ANGEL: Hey! My Sweet Boy!...Lookat'chu Bastards, you an' Papa havin' a snuggle, without me…Traitors.

(Yawning deeply, HUSK is still waking up, grumbling to himself about being woken up by a pig and stretching just like an Old man should. ANGEL coos to Fat Nuggets.)

ANGEL: Uh-Oh…Did we wake Papa?...Yeah, we woke Papa…(then to HUSK) Hi, Baby.

HUSK: (Just noticing his partner, tilts his head) Hm- Hey Legs…Damn, y'home early?

ANGEL: Yeah, just pick up shots today (Not really, by pick up shots, he means his scene partner picked him up and pinned him against the wall, he doesn't want HUSK to worry though.)

HUSK: (always concerned when it comes to the studio, but doesn't want to press ANGEL) Oh…um…Y'okay?

ANGEL: (Can't lie, sadly, but tries to reassure) Just uh…the usual...B-But I'm okay, m'fine. (Starts to laugh and ramble)...Actually, it was kinda funny…Long story short, the last scene- Val wants to get the climax again…and again…AND again. What a set of pipes on the poor motherfucker, screamin' to high heaven!...But, uh- Val got called into a meetin' with Vox, thank god…Shoot got cut short an'...Well, most workin' wanted to head home before the storm got bad…

(He trails off...Usually HUSK would respond somehow...ANGEL notices HUSK scrunching up his muzzle and squeezing the bridge of his nose with two fingers, as if he's in pain. He tenderly approaches.)

ANGEL: S-shit…Are you okay?...You ain't lookin' so hot.

(HUSK waves ANGEL off)

HUSK: M'fine…S'just a headache…

ANGEL: (know's he's been given bullshit) N-No No, there's somethin' else…Whaddya not tellin' me…Whaddya hung over?-

HUSK: HUH'ETSH'SHOO!

(ANGEL startles at the intense sneeze and Nuggets squeals, running under the bed. HUSK sniffles and wiggles and clicks his muzzle.)

ANGEL: Jesus!...Honey?! What the fuck was that?!

HUSK: (out of breath, and a little flustered.) Whew, Sorry…'Scuse me…Didn't mean to scare ya.

ANGEL: Next time warn a gal…It's just, heh-…Y'never do that…Come to think of it, I don't think I've heard ya so much as sniffle before?

HUSK: W-whaddya talkin' 'bout…Everyone…(Trails off) S-s-s…..sn-...Sneezes…

ANGEL: (scoffs) Yeah?...Not like that…

HUSK: HEH'ISHH'HOooo!

ANGEL: (starts laughing and mimics Husk's low growly sneeze) Achoooo!

HUSK: Oho! Y'think that's funny?...Laugh it up, Smartass…L-laugh…Hhhh- Goddamni-EH'RTSH'SHOO!...Motherfucker.

ANGEL: (still laughing, but sympathetic) It's…a little funny….Bless you!..H-honey, are you okay?

HUSK: Figures…Now I'm gettin' a cold, now that the seasons pickin' up.

ANGEL: Aww, my poor baby...That's why y'closed up shop so early, huh?

HUSK: Charlie said I was lookin' a lil…hhh… hhh...Peaky…Shit wasn't my choice.

(HUSK lets out a raspy sounding cough and leans back to monstrously sneeze again.)

HUSK: AH'RKK'HOOO!

ANGEL: Ah, Salute! Here…Blow the Thompson on the end of your face hon. (He offers a tissue box from the nightstand)

HUSK: …Thank you baby…(into tissue) AH'ITSH'IUUU…Ugh, Christ…

ANGEL: (unable to keep from laughing, lovingly mocks again with similar inflection)...B-B-Bless you!

HUSK: Very funny Ange…Real fuckin' hilarious…Alright, C'mere y'little shit!

(HUSK starts to tickle ANGEL's arms. The couple both start laughing.)

ANGEL: No!...No…I'm sorry!…H-Honey that tickles!...

HUSK: (growls playfully) I gotcha!

(Both laugh)

ANGEL: Husk!...Husk, Uncle!

HUSK: (listens, satisfied) Hm…That's whatcha get sweetheart.

ANGEL: (fondly) You're a sadist…M'sorry y'sick honey… (leans down and plants a kiss on the top of the cat's head, then notices a book in his paw) …Hey, whatcha readin'?

HUSK: …Gatsby (The Great Gatsby by F. Scott. Fitzgerald)

ANGEL: Ooh, t-that one…Uh…(suddenly a little embarassed, nervously laughs)...Y'know, s'funny…I ain't never read it?

HUSK: Sweetheart, you've never read The Great Gatsby?

ANGEL: I know, I know…S'crime against literature or somethin'...Y-you tell me, if y'think I'da had time between all the heists n' highs for a few chapters

HUSK: Y'got time now, don'tcha? (Sniffles) Why don't we read it together?

ANGEL: (hopeful) Really?

HUSK: Yeah!...I mean…I've read it a hudred times, but….I'd love to see it through your eyes.

ANGEL: Alright, babycakes…But uh, blow y'muzzle first, I can hear ya, gettin' all stuffy.

(HUSK honks a hefty blow into a tissue. Key word being honk.)

ANGEL: Alright, Mother Goose! D'ya wanna start the story or should I?

HUSK: I ain't got the energy to put up with this shit, dickhead…

ANGEL: Alright, Jackass! I'll take care of it, just listen to the Soothing sounds of my voice...

(He clears his throat and starts the book.

♥︎♠︎

(Scene 2 - The next time we see the pair…It's the next morning. ANGEL is in bed and is woken by a loud nose blow and growly bellowed sneezes coming from the bathroom. ANGEL stretches and cranes his neck to look at the bathroom door.

ANGEL: (called out) Bless you!

(The bathroom door opens and a pathetic looking bartender enters, looking exausted.)

HUSK: M'sorry, did I wake you?

ANGEL: Oh baby, nonsense!...You can't help that. You're sick….(clears his throat, still waking, hesitates to ask)...Uh, how's the head?

(HUSK just deeply coughs and raises his eyebrow at the wording. Anyway, ANGEL already knows the answer.)

ANGEL: Y'know what- …don't answer that, uh…I'm gonna go downstairs an' make us some tea.

HUSK: (childlike, pleading eyes)...With bourbon?

ANGEL: (Agreeing) With. Bourbon.

(ANGEL fiddles with the kettle in the kitchen, filling it up with water, putting it on the stove, turning on the burner…He feels something creeping up.)

ANGEL: Heht'ktsh'iew!...Damn…Niffty needs to dust 'round here.

(He hears the door creak open and feels something ELSE creeping up. Needless to say, it's not HUSK.)

ANGEL: Oh, honey?...It's okay, I got it under control you can just go back to bed.

ALASTOR: …Are you quite sure?

(ANGEL startles and rolls his eyes once he sees ALASTOR, but politely replies and resumes watching the kettle.)

ANGEL: Yeah...G'mornin' to you too, Al.

ALASTOR: My my! Someone's broadening their palate!...It's rather funny, usually you'd be schmoozing a mimosa out of our esteemed bartender…But here you are! Making…what smells to be a morning cuppa of chammomile- Or a double. How domestic…What's the occasion?

(ANGEL keeps his reply short, cold and brisk. He's never liked how AL treats his boyfriend and knows AL probably already is well aware, but wants the satisfaction.)

ANGEL: Well our esteemed bartender is playin' hooky today, he's got a real bad cold…(then realizes he can use this to his advantage) Y'don't wanna risk gettin' it Al, y'should probably keep away…like far far away.

ALASTOR: (Sees right through) Come now Angel, you can rest assured that I have no desire to hang around such pestilence. But I also trust that you'll inform Husker of his responsibilities and how he'll be making up for lost time…(He presses the laugh track on his staff)...I must say, I never took you as the caretaking type.

ANGEL: (Ignores the bite, sighs fondly) Well, someone's gotta take care of the big lug…(then bites) Lord know's you won't…Eet'Tschuu!

ALASTOR: (knowingly) Well! Seems as though pot just met kettle, and with that, I'll be on my merry way…(darkly) Seems as though disgusting affections are in the air…among other things.

(In an instant, AL leaves and the kettle begins to screech. ANGEL growls to himself in Italian.)

ANGEL: Stronzo di Fragole!…Hhh…Aat'tshew!

(Back upstairs in ANGEL's room, ANGEL sets the tray with two mugs and another box of tissues down on the bed and sits down.)

ANGEL: (tenderly) Here ya go, Babycakes. Careful, it's hot.

HUSK: (coughs sleepily)...Thank you, Sweetheart.

ANGEL: D'aww, you are welcome!...So uh, where did we leave off?

HUSK: (coughs) Page 41, the big party.

ANGEL: Okay…'I believe that on the first night I went to Gatsby's house'-…'Scuse me…Sorry…Heh…Heh…Ih!…Ihh'eck'iew!...Heh'ish'uu!

HUSK: (chuckling) Uh-oh…Bless you!...Tissue?

ANGEL: Yeah I'b…I'm fine, Honey…Thanks…(tries to start reading) 'I belie- (sputters and coughs)...

HUSK: (gently) Are you okay?

ANGEL: (insistant)…I'm okay! 'I believe that on the first night I went to Gatsby's house…I believe I was-' (takes a deep breath, he is feeling awful and…is about to sneeze again)...Shit-

HUSK: (worried) Angel?

ANGEL: Eh…Eh- Sorry, I'm…I'm godda sneeze!...IT'Tshuu!...Its'Shhh-Oh fuck me sideways!

HUSK: Bless you…Are y'sure you're okay?

ANGEL: I'm fide?….heh…I'm fide.

HUSK: (smirks) Uh-huh, okay…5…4…3…2-

ANGEL: ahh'eeehhhehh'heh!-...ISH'UU!...aghih hhhdihh…ICK'HIUU!

HUSK: Bless you, Sweetheart.

ANGEL: (long sniffle, finally admits)...Baby?...I think I'm catching ya sniffles.

HUSK: (sarcastically) Really, y'don't say?…

ANGEL: Hht'tsh'iuu!

HUSK: (chuckles fondly)...Bless you…Y'know, this isn't how I imagined we'd spend our first day off together.

ANGEL: (coughs) Me neither…(blows his nose) Thought we'd have a glamorous date…Night out on the town…Er- somethin'...

HUSK: Well, we can still do that…With Daisy, Nick an' Gatsby…What's more glamourous than a grand soiree?

(ANGEL blows his nose again, a loud honk)

ANGEL: (sarcastically, glumly) Oh yeah, Honey…Real Glamourous.

(HUSK tries to think of a way to cheer up Angel and gets an idea.)

HUSK: Hold that thought…

ANGEL: Husk?…Whatcha doin'?

(HUSK gets up and starts to mess around with ANGEL's record player. Looking through the collection of vinyls, he finds one that they'd both enjoy. Glenn Miller's 'Chatanooga Choo Choo' starts playing and HUSK starts to sway and kick his feet a little, then does a little Charleston step.)

ANGEL: What are you doin'...Are you…dancin'?

HUSK: Eh…How's that for Glamour?…'Scuse me, sir?

ANGEL: (laughs) Who me?

HUSK: Couldn't help but notice…Y'seem a bit…sniffly-

ANGEL: (still laughing, loving this bit) No shit, it's your fault!

HUSK: -But otherwise…Absolutely beautiful. I'm a bit sniffly myself…(feigns surprise) We have so much in common!

ANGEL: (laughs) Y'so cheesy...

HUSK: I would love nothing more than to dance with you…Whaddya say?

(ANGEL gets up and takes HUSK's arm, joining the bit as they begin to sway gently to the music)

ANGEL: Well sir, I'd love to…But between you an' me?...Keep this on the downlow, Y'don't wanna let my grump of a boyfriend know that I'm dancing with such a gentleman.

HUSK: Well, I dunno this fella…But if he's doin' anything right, I think he'd just be happy to see you happy.

(The two dance and sway in their pajamas for a while, wrapped in eachother's arms)

HUSK: One…Two…-....Hhhh

(ANGEL notices HUSK's twitching and hitching and offers to help.)

ANGEL: Honey?...Y'okay? Y'need a tissue?...A tissue?

HUSK: AH'ICKHH'HIOOoo!

ANGEL: Yeah, that's what I thought…Bless you Ol' Man.

HUSK: Uhhh….Th- Thank-....Tha-...uhh'ITSH'hooo

ANGEL: Salute, Mio Caro…Here.

(HUSK takes the offered tissue)

HUSK: (stuffily) Thank you baby…(he coughs amd hitches as another big painful sneeze is coming)...HEHRK'HOOOOOOO!

ANGEL: (clicks his tongue, sympathetic) Bless you!...I think that's our cue to get back in bed baby.

♥︎♠︎

(Scene 3 - Hours of reading later. The couple has reached the big twist of the heightening drama of the book. Daisy Buchanan was the one driving the car that hit Myrtle Wilson. Jay Gatsby, who's in love with Daisy, will take the blame. ANGEL's heart and weakened immune system cannot take this.)

ANGEL: (floored, heartbroken) Husk…No…No, it was Daisy?!

HUSK: (knew this was coming) Daisy was drivin' baby...

ANGEL: No!...She did it?...N-no!...Fuck no! (Throws the book) Goddamnit! (A coughing jag starts)

HUSK: Easy!...Easy, Jesus Christ…Breathe, baby, breathe…Are you okay?

ANGEL: (carries on) An' he's just gon' take the fall for her sorry ass…Oh my god! (Way too into the story.)

HUSK: (laughs a little at his partner's passion) I know…I know-...Shit Angel are you cryin'?

ANGEL: (He is. Emotional, sniffling)...S'just so fucked up.

HUSK: Easy now…I know…But that's the beauty of it…ain't it?

ANGEL: (crying, looks up, confused) B-beauty?...Of someone bein' a selfish bitch an' ruinin' lives?

HUSK: Nah, Ange, The beauty of the story…is in it's honesty…Shows us the darker sides of love…An' how far an fucked folks'll get protectin' it.

ANGEL: (quiet) Husk?…Husk.

HUSK: What's wrong lovebug?

ANGEL: (sadly)…Would you do that for me?...Would ya..t-take the fall?

HUSK: (nonchalantly) Hm, probably.

ANGEL: Even if it meant…everything?

HUSK: Lookatcha!...Y'gettin' all existential on me!

ANGEL: M'serious!

HUSK: (looks ANGEL in the eyes, with utter conviction) If it meant, keepin' you safe, keepin' y'by my side…Then yes…

(HUSK feels ANGEL's breathing start to hitch as he holds him)

HUSK: Alright baby…Quit cryin'...(Notices he's pulling away and fanning his face and grabbing a tissue)...Oh…O-oh, are you okay?

ANGEL: (breathlessly) No!...N-No, I'm gonna sneeze!...Itsh'uu!...Eck'hiiuu, Ehhhishhh'shuu!...Heh'rkk'kiew! (Groans) Oh go-...Irrkk'hew! (Gasp) Heh'Ihhk'hew…Eh…Ehyiiishhhiew!...

HUSK: Bless you, Bless you- Bless you!...Holy shit, Ange! …Fuckin' Shit! Aww baby…Shhh, Breathe baby.

ANGEL: ….Hhh….Aacksh'IEW!...(groans)

HUSK: (chuckles) Bless you!...Y'always sneeze like that?

ANGEL: (sniffles) Like what?...(realizes) Oh, I'm sorry! (Coughs) Not all of us start a damn natural disaster every time the pollen count goes up.

(HUSK belly laughs, ANGEL's jab was...pretty fair enough. HUSK's laugh trails off into little coughs and grows a bit raspy.)

HUSK: (lovingly firm) Alright, blow your nose.

(ANGEL blows thickly and groans)

HUSK: There y'go…Feel better?

ANGEL: (tired from his emotional burst and his sneezing fit, he deadpans) What do you think?

HUSK: (not really bothered by his partner's moodiness, but calls it out anyway) Damn, you're startin' to get a lil bitchy.

(ANGEL is too sleepy to argue with this, so he lays down and pulls the blanket up, snuggling into HUSK's side.)

ANGEL: (quiet)…Gonna take a nap.

HUSK: (coughs) That's a brilliant idea, Sweetheart…

(Nuggets comes out from under the bed and paws to be let up. HUSK pats the bed.)

HUSK: Well, c'mon!...Get on up, here.

♥︎♠︎

(Scene 4 - Another few hours later…a knock at the door wakes the couple)

ANGEL: (grumpily, sleepily, stuffily)...Hm, Who the fuck is that?... If anyone tries to enter this room with me looking like absolute shit…I will not hesitate to shoot them.

HUSK: (yawns, sleepily and raspily) S'okay, Ange, just stay in bed…I'll get it.

(HUSK coughs a jag into his arm as he answers the door. ANGEL lets our a rough Aagh'ish'hew!, and Nuggets greets Princess Charlie Morningstar behind the door, who's carrying a large thermos and still dressed in her pajamas.)

HUSK: Sorry…Hi, Princess.

CHARLIE: Holy shit…You guys sound awful (coughs roughly a little herself...revealing the bug is clearly going around)

ANGEL: Hell, you ain't sounding much better, Toots.

Charlie: (In-denial, laughs) No!...I'm fine- I'm fine, Angel…Nothing to worry about! Vaggie is downstairs with something nasty…So I'm gonna go take care of her, BUT I brought you guys some chicken soup, I hope you enjoy it!

HUSK: (smiles sincerely and takes the thermos) Much obliged…Thank you…(then looks doubtful) Are you sure you're okay?

CHARLIE: (giggles again, still denying) No! I'm fine! I'm fine guys, I- Hh! HEP'PTSH'SHIEEW!

(CHARLIE inherited her Dad's tendency to occasionally become a...flamethrower when sneezing. Tends to get worse with a cold. Her demon form is out. ANGEL, HUSK and Nuggets stare blankly, a bit scared.)

ANGEL:…Bless you.

HUSK:…Bless you.

HUSK: (quietly to ANGEL) I didn't jus' hallucinate, right?...Fire came out her nose…

ANGEL: (quietly back) Dunno, y'talkin' to a former crackhead, if anyone's hallucinatin' it should be me…

CHARLIE: Eh…Heh…Ih…IPTSH'SHIEEW!

ANGEL: (Gently, firmly, big brother energy) Charlie…Dollface?... Y'takin' care a' everybody…But don't forget to take care a' y'self. (as Charlie coughs, ANGEL melts and invites her in for a hug)...C'mere.

CHARLIE: (Emotional)...Oh, Angel!

ANGEL: (waving her off, still a bit nervous) Yeah, yeah… Just do me a favor? Try not to set me on fire?

(HUSK joins the hug, wrapping his wings around the three of them.)

HUSK: C'mere, kid…If you tell anybody about this…I will gut you like a fish. (No real bite)

CHARLIE: (beat.) Thank you guys…Um…Vaggie and I are gonna watch some movies in the lobby, if you guys wanna join us, you're free to!...And if you need anything, give us a holler- Well actually, don't do that- Save your voices…Okay, bye!

(Door closes)

HUSK: Could be fun…It'll help distract from your…existential dread.

ANGEL: (coughs) Hey, fuck off!...Anyway, I have a better distraction…

HUSK: What?...(realizes and stiffens) No!...No. Are- Are you really feelin' up to that right now?

ANGEL: (pouts) C'mon Whiskers, don'tcha want me to…feel better?...(muffles a stuffy sneeze behind his hands) Ktsch'yew!- Oh my god…

HUSK: (smirks) Need a tissue?

ANGEL: (sniffles) I need…YOU, Baby! Besides, didn'tcha know that the Pentagram's leadin' scientists and' medical professionals say 'Sex is good for a cold!'

HUSK: (contemplates, then smiles slyly and inches closer) Well…Then I guess we gotta do what we gotta do…For science.

ANGEL: (smiles back, sniffling) That's right, we're just doin' this for a good cause…In the name of 'Science'.

(They melt into an embrace in a slow passionate kiss.)

ANGEL: ...I love you

HUSK: ...I love you too

(ANGEL's nose gets brushed and he pulls away to harshly sneeze, and looks up apologetically)

ANGEL: ...Aack'shew!...Ugh sorry.

HUSK: (tenderly) Bless you, Sweetheart.

♥︎♠︎ - è finito

The end, hope you enjoyed!

[ripelytoo]

Sickly Vox~

(I don’t know why, but I hate my own art. I feel as though it’s not good enough and I keep having to restart every sketch I start with.. Hopefully you guys will enjoy it though! 😣)

[snotmorty]

Adam, you're gross 🙄

[secret-explosion]

Headcanons of a sick or sneezy V//ox? 🥺

Sorry for taking so long to get back to this!

I have a feeling his sneezes changes as the decades went on. When he first came to hell and had a 1950's style TV, which was much more prone to overheating and overloading. Plus, there were not as many reliable vents. Hence, when he sneezed, it was so violent that this man used to blow a fuse each and every time. This was especially a problem when sick. Try as he might, that head of his just wasn't made for quiet sneezes nor the ability to hold them back. Tired of being black screened and useless until someone replaced his fuse, he decided it was time for some adjustments.

He tinkered throughout the years until eventually he had a much more efficient screen, volume control, and a better ventilation system. With Filters! With fewer allergens to make him sneeze and a reliable control of volume, he was now a master at stifling! With a few nearly imperceptible sneezes, the allergen is out of his vents and off to bother someone else. However, with all the adjustments he made, he is more computer than TV; leaving him much more susceptible to accidentally downloading viruses. On top of it all, he still runs into the problem of blue screening when caught in a particularly bad sneezing fit nowadays

[snzysimper]

Holy fucking shit holy fucking shit holy fucking shit holy fucking shit holy fu-

🥵🥵

Words cannot describe how this makes me feel

F L I C K E R || H//azbin H//otel

lil s//taticm//oth because i'm going insane kink!v/al because reasons

Val's lower arms come to rest on Vox's thighs. The tech mogul repositions himself along Val's hips which earns him something between a grunt and a growl. The moth's upper arms reach up, one hand curling around a lean shoulder and the other pulling at the lapel of his blazer to yank him back into a kiss. As Vox leans in, his screen flickers just slightly. It's slight. Barely noticeable if you weren't paying attention. But Val is always paying attention. His tongue glides up the flat, smooth surface, feeling the strange static hum on his tastebuds. "Mm, trouble, amorcito?" he asks as his tongue snakes back into his mouth.

Vox peeks a red eye open, "Huh?"

Val's smile sharpens. "Nothing."

He pulls Vox closer by the hips, digging his fingers in hard enough to bruise. He feels like starting a fight. It'll make this so much sweeter. Vox is always so much sexier when he's on edge.

Shoving back, he yanks his head away from Vox's mouth and narrows his carmine eyes.

"You're distracted," he accuses.

Vox blinks. He looks surprised, then his expression flattens into annoyance.

"The fuck? No I'm not."

"You are. You think I don't know?"

There's that flicker again. It's a little more pronounced this time. A whisper of static around the edges of his screen, as if someone just gave the side of his box a good whack. Vox is oblivious to it, or at least he's pretending to be. Arousal pools in Val's gut.

"I have plenty of other people I could be fucking, Vox."

"Why do you always fucking do this?" Vox complained, "I was just getting into it."

"Then why are you doing that?"

Another wobble of his screen. It passes in an instant.

"Doing what?!"

Val scrapes a gold plated claw down the edge of his casing. Again, the screen twitches and this time, it comes with a soft, uneven inhale on Vox's part.

"Hhih..."

"You're all...glitchy," Val grins.

Vox wrenches out of the path of his hand and recovers, "Fuck off, no I'm not. Are we doing this or can I get back to work?"

Val leaned back into the chair, smug. "That depends." "On what?" Vox snapped.

"If you're going to just get it over with and sneeze already."

Vox's hypnotic eye went wide and crazed for a moment, the other tightening in clear aggravation.

"I'm not--" "Oh, but you are," Val murmured, dropping his voice low, "I know you, baby."

As if enticed by the mere suggestion, Vox's screen flickered again. This time, he acknowledged it with a slight twist of his expression. He blinked hard and shook his head. Val could hear his fans whirring in earnest.

One of his hands went up the sinuous curve of Vox's waist. He felt his ribs expanding in his palm. "Hiih..hhh..." Vox's screen began to fade with his breath, winking out as he slowly lost control.

"Mmm, I thought so," Val grinned.

Vox's screen went completely black before he whipped to the side with a face full of grey, crackling static and--

"H’AEHHZZSCH'ah!"

"Hey," Val murmured as he watched Vox's expression slowly filter back onto his screen, his pixelated eyes squinting in itchy limbo. Val grabbed the side of his face, turning the Overlord towards him with a forceful tug. "Don't turn away from me."

Vox gasped, planting a hand in Val's chest to try and put some distance between them as his head snapped down with a poorly contained second sneeze.

"hH’NGXtssh!"

"And what have I told you about holding back?"

"For fuuuhcks saake, Val," Vox managed to roll his eyes as his screen glowed erratically.

Val pulled him closer, listening to his fans working overtime, the whine of his internal processors trying to dispel the irritant. There was one heavy inhale, and then another. Vox's chest pressed against his desperately.

"Ghh...hg..."

As much as he wanted to be close, he enjoyed the show far too much to miss the front row seat. Val leaned back once more and watched hungrily as Vox's expression snapped and popped with stray tendrils of wayward electricity.

Finally, he gave in, sneezing freely into Val's lap.

"eH'HTZ҉Z҉S҉H҉IEW!" The power in the building whined as it overloaded and filled every room with blinding light. Somewhere overhead, a lightbulb popped. Third time this fucking month.

Vox groaned in the aftermath. His expression returned to his screen, slightly dazed, undoubtedly annoyed.

"So sneezy," Val praised him his arms pulling the other Overload close once more as he sniffled scratchy, static sounds into his ear.

"Fuck you," Vox muttered in a congested voice. But he melted into Val's touch, rubbing the flat surface of his screen along his shoulder for some relief.

"Are you done?"

"Think so." "Shame."

[snzysimper]

OMG GUYS!!

What if Lucifer were allergic to Razzle and Dazzle and that’s why he sent them to be with Charlie.

“Welp, you’re 18 now. Here, they’re your problem now. Good luck 😀”

Rest in Peace Dazzle 10/10 will be missed

[goodlucksnez]

Is h/azbin snez peeps still around?

we;; either way...ENJOY

DO NOT REBLOG TO NON-KINK BLOGS

MINORS FUCK OFF

cw/tw: Sneezing (duh), hitching, mentions of s/ex w/orkers, glitching, sfx of robotic sounds and computer things, implied romance

I swallowed my pride and finally made a wav with the moth! I cannot do accents so I tried my best

Also sticking with the headcannon V/ox has bad allergies to pollen in hell.

transcript below:

*Vox snez*

Hmm. Blessing. Ohh. That's the fifth time today mi amor …Is it already that time of year?

Don't even. Go there, Val.

You know this happens to you every now and again.

I know, I know every. Fucking tree. It hell deciders to…to. *snez* fuckin hell bloom

If this is how you are in hell. I would love to see you when you were alive I bet it was so entertaining.

Not really. Although they did have medicine. The best I can here do here is drink myself to...

Mi Television. I can tell you feel awful.

And yet you seem in high spirits. Do I want to know?

 You know I'm a proprietor of kinks , mi amor I’m surprised you have to ask

Uh. I appreciate the sentiment.…*snez*  I don't think I'm in the mood right now to play.

Very well, very well. I’ll take your confession.

 What confession?

That you need my help and I'll let you be.

*hitching*.

Really convincing there. Come on, voxy. You know you need me. You never get over those fits without it. I'm pretty sure half of hell remembers when you tried. How long did that blackout last?

Fine

Oh. You know that's not enough. Consent. mi amor. It's very important.

Fine Val. Help me you fucking masochistic Kicky motherfucker

*hitching and snez*

Oh, goodness. Goodness. Come here. mi amor, come here. I got you.

Ohh hold still

It tickles

Do you want to stop? I would suggest killing you, but. I think it would be more fun if you were alive. I always enjoyed a little plaything.

Fuck *snez*

You are holding me so tight!!

 I'm not even gonna elicit them with a response.

 Ohh. Your poor vents are Working overtime and I can practically feel the air blowing out myself.

Oh, God, don't even. Mentioned that..

Well, if you wanted to stop, might I suggest actually shutting the window for once

And pay for AC you may keep your studio as cold as. *snez* fucking saten.

We've all dreamed of that. Although I don't think he enjoys the sentiments, from what I've understood, he's a little bit of a how do I say, exclusive clientele? He only likes that bitch wife of his.

*shutting window* fine there at least more more of the ..*hitching*

Ohh, you can't even say the word. Do you mean pollen?

*Fits*

I will be definitely letting the media outlets know about expecting blackouts this week.

If you stoped fucking with me and actually helped.

And now can I help…do enlighten me.

 Do you have any handkerchiefs?

 You are so old fashioned. Most of the whores I hired now use tissues to get the job done. And yet you would like a pocket square

Easier on my screen.

 Oh. Very well. Here you go.

Thanks. You're going to stand there and watch me.

Oh, come on. I thought we already went over this.

*Blows nose*

Do you feel better now?

I think you're going to give me an encore Corazon.

*hitching*

I got you. I'm holding. I got you. Come on. Oh. Well done.

I hate you

I love you too.

Don't worry, I'll take care of that cute little face of yours. For as long as the pollen may last.

 Yay, yay yay…just another fucking week with val, fuck my life.

[glitterrosesnzz]

anyways. y'all remember that one "demons who are allergic to being blessed" post someone made like. idk a while back i don't remember- yeah anyways.

L/ucifer still having that instinct to bless someone when they sneeze cause yknow, used to be an angel, but now it just makes the situation worse + sets himself off-

[sweetlysniffly]

I’ve been on a huge VoxVal kick recently, and I’ve also been yearning for some “faking it” content cause it’s one of my favorite tropes but I never run into it

So Val is feeling very deprived of attention from Vox, he’s just too busy for him these days. He’ll try to make a pass at dinner, over the phone, wear tighter clothes or less clothes around, but nothing is getting his attention, it’s all “not now’s” and “I’m busy’s.” 🫩😔

So Val thinks back, when was the last time he got Vox’s true undivided attention. It was…last week when he was examining final cuts of his upcoming releases, and Vox couldn’t stop staring at the nurse role play film he shot. Every-time Angel sneezed, Voxs eyes grew increasingly fixated and his face grew even more flushed. Even if his sight wasn’t the best, Val was great at noticing things.

So, he calls Angel to ask for whatever the hell kinda substance they used on that shoot, calls his makeup artist in, and blows his hair drier on high in his own face for like 25 minute.

Vox walks into their shared loft that night, and as soon as Val here’s the door shift he takes a bit of powder in his nose, wraps himself in a blanket, and lays down in bed. He can hear Vox put down his keys and walk around, but he’s not even calling out for him 😡🥺. As the powder kicks in, he lets himself build up the most languid dramatic vocal, teasing sneeze he can.

That certainly gets Voxs attention. He hears him approaching the bedroom doorway and starts pretending to shiver under the covers.

“Val?”

Val allows himself another sneeze, a little less loud than the first, but still whiney. He sniffles and sits up, wrapping the blanket around himself.

“Voxy! You’re back.”

“I…uh-“ Vox swallows. “What’s going on-“

“I don’t know, cariño. I was fine this morning, but all of a sudden I started feeling so achey and cold, and my…my” he’s playing it up, cause if Vox recognizes that he’s faking it, he’s gonna get a show. He fans his face, building up vocally like he trained Angel to do for that film last night week, sneezing high pitched and lingering on the “choo,” giving a little moan after.

“Mm. Perdón. My nose won’t leave me alone. Come to bed, mi amor. I’m so cold.”

He can see Vox’s eyes settle in the exact same way they did before, lazed focused while his screen flushes. He takes off his shoes, his jacket, his shirt, until he’s wearing nothing but his boxers and socks.

Vox places a hand on Val’s face. “You do feel a little hot.”

Val cuddles up to him. “Not as hot as you, warm me up baby.”

Val can heel Voxs dick through his boxers. He’s got him right where he wants him. One more good sneeze should do the trick. His head tilts back, but before he can let go, Vox places a finger just under his nostrils.

“Ah ah ah. So needy. Wait till I let you.”

This kinky bastard, Val thinks to himself. But he’s got his undivided attention, so he’s gotten what he wanted. His nostrils flare, his breath hitches, but he’s not one to beg. He fans his face in the way he noticed Vox likes, while his TV man snatches a tissue with his hand. Val moans out tiny little closed mouth whines to entertain his lover. Vox switches his finger for the tissues and lets Val release the itch.

“Blow, baby.”

As he blows into the tissue, Vox sighs with his eyes closed. “I don’t feel good, Voxy,” though his smirk communicated otherwise.

[maladyinpink]

🔊TENDING THE BARTENDER ♥︎♤ Haz/bin Ho/tel Wav

AI PROJECTS WILL ALWAYS BE STRICTLY AI FREE

Thank you for your patience everyone, after the long wait. Here is the next wav in the series! (the eighth in listening order). I would have had it up yesterday, but I fell asleep on my keyboard 😬 Anywho...I hope all my fellow Husker/Dust fans enjoy! And SPECIAL THANKS to my beta readers @zensations35, @themiseryandcompany and @very-freakin-effable for cameo-ing and voicing my very Irish, disgruntled bar patron. Much love to you all.

Format is a little different this time, guys, bare with me ♡

TENDING THE BARTENDER: It's early spring in Pentagram City and one of Angel's rare days off from work. After a shopping spree and a lovely walk with a happy piggy, he returns to the Hotel bar to find Husk in an...itchy situation.

CW: Allergic Fittish Cat-like Sneezes, Loud Sneezes Come later, Adorable couple antics, And...a song...hehehe

TITLE CARD

Script is below, enjoy!

- Baci, Baci, Pink

(It's early spring in Pentagram City and one of ANGEL DUST's day rare days off from work. He's decided to spend part of the day shopping, with Fat Nuggets in tow on his leash. It's late afternoon/early evening and they've just made their way back up to the Hotel's front gates and courtyard.)

ANGEL: Fat Nuggets!...Was that a good day?

C’mon sweetie!...C’mon...Do you have to sniff every tree?...EVERY fuckin’ tree?...Wanna pee on the bush? Alright, pee on the bush (he sighs as Nuggets rustles through the bush and does his business) Alright…C'mon ya little bastard, I got dinner duty  tonight!…Yeah, c’mon… G-Good boy…Yeah, you're so goo-…Oof, Hey! ‘Scuse me, asshole!

(A bar patron has stormed out of the lobby into the courtyard and nearly runs into the pair.)

PATRON: Bloody abysmal! Can't get one lousy drink…What a fuckin' schmuck!

(ANGEL winces as the patron storms away and realizes that something must have happened) 

ANGEL: ...Yeesh, that don' sound good…C'mon, Nuggs…Let's go see 'Papa' the bar.

(ANGEL opens the door and enters back into the lobby with Nuggs.

HUSK: (mutters angrily to himself) The fuck do I care? Make y'own drink...Ain't in the mood f'jack shit!...Come to m’bar and fuckin’ yell…

 ANGEL: …Hon?

HUSK: ( growls, startled, his ears pin down, sputters uncharacteristically)…Angel?…m’Sorry, …y'know I'd-…I jus’...Uh… shit.

(ANGEL can tell by now when his man is going through something and knows the old defense mechanism like an old friend by this point. He doesn't take it personally.)

ANGEL: (tender) Hey…S'okay…We was just out shoppin' an' we was just checkin' on you…Someone got a new sweater an' wanted to say Hi to Papa. Say Hi to Papa!…

(ANGEL giggles and waves Nugget's little hoof and Nuggets gives a happy little oink.)

HUSK: (grumpily, deadpans)…Hi, Pig.

ANGEL: (fat-nuggets/baby voice, then falls out of it.) Heyo, Papa?...Is you angy?...Is you, havin' a bad day?... Did somebody go an' piss in y'flask?...Like uh, seriously who are we killin' tonight, honey? 

HUSK: (sighs) Nah, it ain't like that…don' worry 'bout it…Jus’ another shit day…

(HUSK sniffs)

ANGEL: Husk?…Have you been cryin’?

(HUSK looks up at ANGEL like he’s grown two heads)

HUSK: …M’fine.

ANGEL: (gestures at the tissue box, jokes) Well, don't tell me are for jerkin’ off behind the bar?…

(this earns him a growl)

ANGEL: (catches himself)…Sorry, I know…not in the mood.

HUSK: (reiterates)…M'fine…hhh..Heht’kmtch’choo!...Hitschtt’schoo!...Htschh’Schuhh!

(HUSK writes in his notepad, rustles through his stock and counts, hitches and stifles a few sneezes, these ones quieter than his usually loud sneezes, Angel casually acknowledges and blesses the first one, until he keeps going, a bit fittishly, like a stressed cat, Husk rubs at the bridge of his muzzle and sniffles.)

ANGEL: (sympathetic) Uh-oh, Bless you!...Aw, Papa's sneezin'...You don't...got a cold now, do ya?-" 

HUSK: (he clears his throat, tries to gain his bearings, his tone is firm) No…Nahh…ehht'khtxhh! Tchscht’shhuhh!

ANGEL: …Ain't nothin' if ya was…We took care a eachother last time, remember?

HUSK: (he starts to warn)...This ain't like last time…Ehht’chhu!...Tsht’iihhh!...

ANGEL: (undeterred) Well yeah, for starters, why're ya pinchin' y'muzzle like that? That sounds like it hurts…(hears another big stifle) Aww, y'wings are shakin'.

HUSK: (shakily) I'm Fihhne!...eTtschhht'tdiiew!

ANGEL: …Bless you!…That don't sound fine.

HUSK: (Bites) Christ! Ange, I don't have a cold! I'm fuckin' doin' fine...Now leave me be...'fore I bite ya head off.

ANGEL: (Bites back, mutters) Alright y'big bully, I'll leave y'be…Jesus, thought we were past this…You ain't gonna push me away like 'at. Heaven forbid, I should worry about my man, an' wanna take care a' his sorry ass.

HUSK: (softens, sighs tiredly, closes off.) …M'sorry, Sweetheart…Don' worry bout me, you-...Look, it's ya day off…jus' focus on you.

ANGEL: (scoffs, petty)...Really?….Tch, well then, if you'll excuse me...I, Angel Dust...am gonna make MYSELF...a cuppa tea...with honey…and a lil' liquid courage…I don't suppose you want any...Fat Nuggets? It's so chilly outside, ain't it little man?...

(HUSK mutters to himself and scratches and lets out another rough cat-like sneeze, as ANGEL is talking to Fat Nuggets and goes to the kitchen about stupid feathers and how itchy he is blowing his muzzle into his last tissue, sadly sighing. He continues to take inventory, and scrubs and sniffles his snout. ANGEL comes out of the kitchen humming with two mugs filled with tea and some clinking spoons in each one.)

ANGEL: There we go, one for me, and one for my boy, now where is-…Ah, there it is! Good ol' Jacky D!…You know what, Nuggs?...There's some real drama queens 'round here.

(He unscrews the top off the whiskey bottle and pours in a splash into each mug)

 HUSK: Hm, Drama queen is right…

ANGEL: …An' you know...Nuggs…Some of them folks is real stubborn...an' forget that they deserves a bit of TLC too from time to time…

(ANGEL stirs each mug. Nuggets silently watches and blinks.) 

ANGEL: Yeah, I know, right?...But, Che Cazzo! What can ya do...when you love 'em?" 

 S'why you gotta keep remindin' them that ya there, ready to love em, an' take care a' them, even when they're bein' all grumpy and stubborn...

HUSK: Tschtt!...Tsscht’iew!...Heh’EhK'eww!...HAHK’HOO!...HRRRT’SHEW!

(As HUSK sneezes and the fit gets harsher, his wings flap and flutter, shedding a bunch of red and black feathers. His tail flicks up and comically kinks up at each big sneeze.)

ANGEL: (gently) Salute…Salute…Salute, baby. Here.

(He slides 'Nuggets' tea mug directly in front of his partner. HUSK holds a claw under his nose and sniffs, embarrassed.)

HUSK: (quietly behind his paw, but very grateful) …Uh...Much obliged Ange.

ANGEL: (knowing, tender, huffs a slight smug laugh)…Y'welcome.

HUSK: (as if admitting)…I know you care...You know, I-…I still ain't used to that shit.

ANGEL: Well, I ain't usually playin' nurse either. But that's what partners do, right? …We take care'a each other at our shit lowest. 

HUSK: (chuckles) You ain't exactly Florence Nightingale, Sweetheart.

ANGEL: Maybe not, but I'd look damn fine in her corset, Eh?...Y'want a hanky?...Give y'poor schnozz a hoot…

(HUSK takes Angel's offered handkerchief and sniffles, his wings flutter out and we hear some scratching and he lets out another big AHT'SHEW!.)

ANGEL: There y'go! (he mimics his gruff boyfriend's loud sneeze lovingly) Achoo!…Now tell Nurse Angel what's gotcha all ruffled up.

(HUSK finally lets out a huge loud allergic fit that he’s clearly been holding back. This one sounds like the sneezes that ANGEL has grown used to.)

HUSK: (muffled) HEHGH’SHUHhhh…ERRTTSH’SHUHhhh…ERRTTSH’ScHhOOooo…

ANGEL: Bless you…Bless you…After you finish…doin’ THAT.

HUSK: (muffled)…AHRttsch’HOO…HEHck’SHMMmm!

ANGEL: (sympathetic, tuts, worried) Babycakes, I ain’t ever heard y’sound like this…Y’sure y’okay?

HUSK: …ACK’TCHHOoo! (he blows his muzzle and groans, then breathes through his teeth) …God…S'Embarassin'...Y'won't laugh?

ANGEL: Cross my heart…s'just me, Husk.

(HUSK hesitates and growls in frustration, but knows Angel is being sincere, and slowly manages to let out what's been bothering him.)

HUSK: Look, I ain't sick….I just- s'fuckin' spring, everythin' is fuckin' bloomin' an' Ihhh...I'm- HEHGH'SHOOooo!…m'hhhh?....hhh…Moltin'...an'...ahhhn' it's!-...EhhTSH’HOOoo!…(sighs) fuckin' itchy…M'like a goddamn feather duster...ERSTCH’SHOO!

ANGEL: (snorts, this is VERY adorable)…D'Awww, honey!

HUSK: (pleading)…Sweetheart

(ANGEL composes himself, he made a promise, no matter how adorable he thinks this is. He is also very sympathetic and empathetic to this…as he knows the feeling.)

ANGEL: Ahem, sorry…I ain't laughin' at cha…An' look, it ain't nothin' to be hidin' about, hon…I know s'uncomfortable as fuck…S'gotcha all stressed…Y-y'know I got allergies an' I molt too, comin' up real soon actually…an' all that skin and fur…it ain't pretty…I know how y'feel, m'sorry.

HUSK: ...Jus' shitty timing…I'd usually take care of it m'self…but ever since we lost that shipment, countin' inventory's been fucked up, ahhn' Alastor…hahhs…mhhe… AHSTCH'OOO!

ANGEL: (sweetly, gently) Bless you…Anything I can do?...Getcha a Belphadryl?

(HUSK just grunts noncommittally. His wall is still up, but ANGEL hasn't given up and just wants to help him feel better, pamper his man like a prince.)

ANGEL: I can do that!… S'my turn to make dinner…I'll cook my Nonna's Pesto Gnocchi, that you liked so much, hm?…How's about-…How's 'bout a massage?..Yeah?...Six hands, sound any good?

(HUSK’s ears perk a little…ANGEL sees that he's starting to break through HUSK's wall…a little. ANGEL gives HUSK'S temple a sweet kiss.)

ANGEL: (tries the waters) Okay…Hm…Y'know I've been around, with a lot a sinners, I know a thing or two about uh…preenin' an-

HUSK: (wall is back up, abrupt) No!...None a’that shit!

ANGEL: (sighs) …Okay…if y'sure...Honey, ain't no need for pride, but I understand…But..if I can do somethin' so y'ain't sufferin', you jus' tell me, okay?

I can see it when you're feelin’ low

You can't hide that from me!

You're no status quo calico

So why keep tryin’ to be?

'Cause you're more than that

You're my big bad cat

I wish you could see the you I see

Honey?…Well, I say

If you molt celebrate it

Brand new coat, serenade it

Gotta gloat over a cat like you

And if…

What you are is a strange you

Doesn't mean you should change you

Only means you should change your point of view

Hey feline

You are just fine

To thine ownself be true

Fur and Down's 

The cat's meow

It's how I know you're you

You can call me Pazzo gattara

Bid your woes sayonara

Trust your nose 'cause it knows the way to go

When you

Wave ya tail you're enchanting

Your a swell confidante babe

In all'a hell, Molto Belissimo!

There is not one hair on you

That I would rearrange

I love you the way you are

And that will never change

That will never change

ANGEL: …Hon?...Husk-

HUSK: (the wall crumbles, and he sniffles and sighs)…Brush an' a lil thing of oil in m'room…Jus' keep quiet…No fussin'.

ANGEL: (smiles, proud) Aye Aye, Cap'n!…Ey, Nuggsy, Take care a’Papa for a minute, kay?…Be back in a minute!

HUSK: …HEH'IRSCH'Sshooo!

ANGEL: (called back) Bless you, honey!

(Nuggets, sitting on the bartop, oinks and stares at HUSK as if to say his own little blessing.)

HUSK: …Whatchu gawkin' at, Porkchop?

(Nuggets…of course doesn't answer and just snorts. HUSK melts a little, sighs and chuckles. He pets Nuggets between his horns.)

HUSK: (a little tender)...A silly Ol' bastard?...Yeah?...C'mere…Good boy.

- E finito - Pink

[ripelytoo]

I love torturing him.. I still have more ideas to torture him and make him miserable..

[snotmorty]

I wanted to draw boob snz so, have Angel D/ust trying to work through a cold (poor thing)

Uncensored version on my bluesky

[snzysimper]

Rosie is the only person alastor will ever let take care of him