#Haz/bin Ho/tel

[maladyinpink]

🔊 RAINY DAY SOIRÉE ♥︎♠︎- Haz/bin Ho/tel Wav - ♡-Day Special

Projects will always be strictly AI FREE.

Hi All!...HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY! I'm nervous as hell but excited to share my first wav, this Established Husker/Dust Special, with you guys! ART PAGE/MAKING OF

RAINY DAY SOIRÉE - An/gel Du/st comes home from the studio in a hellstorm to find poor Hu/sk, snuggled up with Fat Nuggets and coming down with a cold in his muzzle. The spider affectionately takes care of his bartender beau, but not without catching it himself...Lil vignettes of Husker/dust's shared sick day and soft caretaking.

CW: Long depiction of shared illness, breathy vocal build-ups, loud deep cold sneezing, contagion, higher pitched cold sneezing fits, snotty/honked nose blowing, dry coughing, snzart visuals, blessing, kissing, emotional comfort, spoilers for the Great Gatsby and lots of fluff.

Script, if you guys want to read along, is below...Enjoy!

~ Love, Pink

♥︎♠︎ - Rainy Day Soirée - Script.

(Scene 1 - ANGEL DUST enters the front door of the Hotel in one of the Pride Ring's thundering hellstorms under his Pink umbrella. It's early evening and the lobby is suspiciously empty.)

ANGEL: *Shudders* It's wetter than dick out there!...Shit…Hello? Anybody home?

(Hanging up his coat, ANGEL heads upstairs and unlocks the door to the room he shares with...)

ANGEL: Husk…Honey?...You in here?-

(He's greeted by Fat Nuggets! The hell-hog scampers off the bed and across the floor to see his Daddy at the door)

ANGEL: Hey! My Sweet Boy!...Lookat'chu Bastards, you an' Papa havin' a snuggle, without me…Traitors.

(Yawning deeply, HUSK is still waking up, grumbling to himself about being woken up by a pig and stretching just like an Old man should. ANGEL coos to Fat Nuggets.)

ANGEL: Uh-Oh…Did we wake Papa?...Yeah, we woke Papa…(then to HUSK) Hi, Baby.

HUSK: (Just noticing his partner, tilts his head) Hm- Hey Legs…Damn, y'home early?

ANGEL: Yeah, just pick up shots today (Not really, by pick up shots, he means his scene partner picked him up and pinned him against the wall, he doesn't want HUSK to worry though.)

HUSK: (always concerned when it comes to the studio, but doesn't want to press ANGEL) Oh…um…Y'okay?

ANGEL: (Can't lie, sadly, but tries to reassure) Just uh…the usual...B-But I'm okay, m'fine. (Starts to laugh and ramble)...Actually, it was kinda funny…Long story short, the last scene- Val wants to get the climax again…and again…AND again. What a set of pipes on the poor motherfucker, screamin' to high heaven!...But, uh- Val got called into a meetin' with Vox, thank god…Shoot got cut short an'...Well, most workin' wanted to head home before the storm got bad…

(He trails off...Usually HUSK would respond somehow...ANGEL notices HUSK scrunching up his muzzle and squeezing the bridge of his nose with two fingers, as if he's in pain. He tenderly approaches.)

ANGEL: S-shit…Are you okay?...You ain't lookin' so hot.

(HUSK waves ANGEL off)

HUSK: M'fine…S'just a headache…

ANGEL: (know's he's been given bullshit) N-No No, there's somethin' else…Whaddya not tellin' me…Whaddya hung over?-

HUSK: HUH'ETSH'SHOO!

(ANGEL startles at the intense sneeze and Nuggets squeals, running under the bed. HUSK sniffles and wiggles and clicks his muzzle.)

ANGEL: Jesus!...Honey?! What the fuck was that?!

HUSK: (out of breath, and a little flustered.) Whew, Sorry…'Scuse me…Didn't mean to scare ya.

ANGEL: Next time warn a gal…It's just, heh-…Y'never do that…Come to think of it, I don't think I've heard ya so much as sniffle before?

HUSK: W-whaddya talkin' 'bout…Everyone…(Trails off) S-s-s…..sn-...Sneezes…

ANGEL: (scoffs) Yeah?...Not like that…

HUSK: HEH'ISHH'HOooo!

ANGEL: (starts laughing and mimics Husk's low growly sneeze) Achoooo!

HUSK: Oho! Y'think that's funny?...Laugh it up, Smartass…L-laugh…Hhhh- Goddamni-EH'RTSH'SHOO!...Motherfucker.

ANGEL: (still laughing, but sympathetic) It's…a little funny….Bless you!..H-honey, are you okay?

HUSK: Figures…Now I'm gettin' a cold, now that the seasons pickin' up.

ANGEL: Aww, my poor baby...That's why y'closed up shop so early, huh?

HUSK: Charlie said I was lookin' a lil…hhh… hhh...Peaky…Shit wasn't my choice.

(HUSK lets out a raspy sounding cough and leans back to monstrously sneeze again.)

HUSK: AH'RKK'HOOO!

ANGEL: Ah, Salute! Here…Blow the Thompson on the end of your face hon. (He offers a tissue box from the nightstand)

HUSK: …Thank you baby…(into tissue) AH'ITSH'IUUU…Ugh, Christ…

ANGEL: (unable to keep from laughing, lovingly mocks again with similar inflection)...B-B-Bless you!

HUSK: Very funny Ange…Real fuckin' hilarious…Alright, C'mere y'little shit!

(HUSK starts to tickle ANGEL's arms. The couple both start laughing.)

ANGEL: No!...No…I'm sorry!…H-Honey that tickles!...

HUSK: (growls playfully) I gotcha!

(Both laugh)

ANGEL: Husk!...Husk, Uncle!

HUSK: (listens, satisfied) Hm…That's whatcha get sweetheart.

ANGEL: (fondly) You're a sadist…M'sorry y'sick honey… (leans down and plants a kiss on the top of the cat's head, then notices a book in his paw) …Hey, whatcha readin'?

HUSK: …Gatsby (The Great Gatsby by F. Scott. Fitzgerald)

ANGEL: Ooh, t-that one…Uh…(suddenly a little embarassed, nervously laughs)...Y'know, s'funny…I ain't never read it?

HUSK: Sweetheart, you've never read The Great Gatsby?

ANGEL: I know, I know…S'crime against literature or somethin'...Y-you tell me, if y'think I'da had time between all the heists n' highs for a few chapters

HUSK: Y'got time now, don'tcha? (Sniffles) Why don't we read it together?

ANGEL: (hopeful) Really?

HUSK: Yeah!...I mean…I've read it a hudred times, but….I'd love to see it through your eyes.

ANGEL: Alright, babycakes…But uh, blow y'muzzle first, I can hear ya, gettin' all stuffy.

(HUSK honks a hefty blow into a tissue. Key word being honk.)

ANGEL: Alright, Mother Goose! D'ya wanna start the story or should I?

HUSK: I ain't got the energy to put up with this shit, dickhead…

ANGEL: Alright, Jackass! I'll take care of it, just listen to the Soothing sounds of my voice...

(He clears his throat and starts the book.

♥︎♠︎

(Scene 2 - The next time we see the pair…It's the next morning. ANGEL is in bed and is woken by a loud nose blow and growly bellowed sneezes coming from the bathroom. ANGEL stretches and cranes his neck to look at the bathroom door.

ANGEL: (called out) Bless you!

(The bathroom door opens and a pathetic looking bartender enters, looking exausted.)

HUSK: M'sorry, did I wake you?

ANGEL: Oh baby, nonsense!...You can't help that. You're sick….(clears his throat, still waking, hesitates to ask)...Uh, how's the head?

(HUSK just deeply coughs and raises his eyebrow at the wording. Anyway, ANGEL already knows the answer.)

ANGEL: Y'know what- …don't answer that, uh…I'm gonna go downstairs an' make us some tea.

HUSK: (childlike, pleading eyes)...With bourbon?

ANGEL: (Agreeing) With. Bourbon.

(ANGEL fiddles with the kettle in the kitchen, filling it up with water, putting it on the stove, turning on the burner…He feels something creeping up.)

ANGEL: Heht'ktsh'iew!...Damn…Niffty needs to dust 'round here.

(He hears the door creak open and feels something ELSE creeping up. Needless to say, it's not HUSK.)

ANGEL: Oh, honey?...It's okay, I got it under control you can just go back to bed.

ALASTOR: …Are you quite sure?

(ANGEL startles and rolls his eyes once he sees ALASTOR, but politely replies and resumes watching the kettle.)

ANGEL: Yeah...G'mornin' to you too, Al.

ALASTOR: My my! Someone's broadening their palate!...It's rather funny, usually you'd be schmoozing a mimosa out of our esteemed bartender…But here you are! Making…what smells to be a morning cuppa of chammomile- Or a double. How domestic…What's the occasion?

(ANGEL keeps his reply short, cold and brisk. He's never liked how AL treats his boyfriend and knows AL probably already is well aware, but wants the satisfaction.)

ANGEL: Well our esteemed bartender is playin' hooky today, he's got a real bad cold…(then realizes he can use this to his advantage) Y'don't wanna risk gettin' it Al, y'should probably keep away…like far far away.

ALASTOR: (Sees right through) Come now Angel, you can rest assured that I have no desire to hang around such pestilence. But I also trust that you'll inform Husker of his responsibilities and how he'll be making up for lost time…(He presses the laugh track on his staff)...I must say, I never took you as the caretaking type.

ANGEL: (Ignores the bite, sighs fondly) Well, someone's gotta take care of the big lug…(then bites) Lord know's you won't…Eet'Tschuu!

ALASTOR: (knowingly) Well! Seems as though pot just met kettle, and with that, I'll be on my merry way…(darkly) Seems as though disgusting affections are in the air…among other things.

(In an instant, AL leaves and the kettle begins to screech. ANGEL growls to himself in Italian.)

ANGEL: Stronzo di Fragole!…Hhh…Aat'tshew!

(Back upstairs in ANGEL's room, ANGEL sets the tray with two mugs and another box of tissues down on the bed and sits down.)

ANGEL: (tenderly) Here ya go, Babycakes. Careful, it's hot.

HUSK: (coughs sleepily)...Thank you, Sweetheart.

ANGEL: D'aww, you are welcome!...So uh, where did we leave off?

HUSK: (coughs) Page 41, the big party.

ANGEL: Okay…'I believe that on the first night I went to Gatsby's house'-…'Scuse me…Sorry…Heh…Heh…Ih!…Ihh'eck'iew!...Heh'ish'uu!

HUSK: (chuckling) Uh-oh…Bless you!...Tissue?

ANGEL: Yeah I'b…I'm fine, Honey…Thanks…(tries to start reading) 'I belie- (sputters and coughs)...

HUSK: (gently) Are you okay?

ANGEL: (insistant)…I'm okay! 'I believe that on the first night I went to Gatsby's house…I believe I was-' (takes a deep breath, he is feeling awful and…is about to sneeze again)...Shit-

HUSK: (worried) Angel?

ANGEL: Eh…Eh- Sorry, I'm…I'm godda sneeze!...IT'Tshuu!...Its'Shhh-Oh fuck me sideways!

HUSK: Bless you…Are y'sure you're okay?

ANGEL: I'm fide?….heh…I'm fide.

HUSK: (smirks) Uh-huh, okay…5…4…3…2-

ANGEL: ahh'eeehhhehh'heh!-...ISH'UU!...aghih hhhdihh…ICK'HIUU!

HUSK: Bless you, Sweetheart.

ANGEL: (long sniffle, finally admits)...Baby?...I think I'm catching ya sniffles.

HUSK: (sarcastically) Really, y'don't say?…

ANGEL: Hht'tsh'iuu!

HUSK: (chuckles fondly)...Bless you…Y'know, this isn't how I imagined we'd spend our first day off together.

ANGEL: (coughs) Me neither…(blows his nose) Thought we'd have a glamorous date…Night out on the town…Er- somethin'...

HUSK: Well, we can still do that…With Daisy, Nick an' Gatsby…What's more glamourous than a grand soiree?

(ANGEL blows his nose again, a loud honk)

ANGEL: (sarcastically, glumly) Oh yeah, Honey…Real Glamourous.

(HUSK tries to think of a way to cheer up Angel and gets an idea.)

HUSK: Hold that thought…

ANGEL: Husk?…Whatcha doin'?

(HUSK gets up and starts to mess around with ANGEL's record player. Looking through the collection of vinyls, he finds one that they'd both enjoy. Glenn Miller's 'Chatanooga Choo Choo' starts playing and HUSK starts to sway and kick his feet a little, then does a little Charleston step.)

ANGEL: What are you doin'...Are you…dancin'?

HUSK: Eh…How's that for Glamour?…'Scuse me, sir?

ANGEL: (laughs) Who me?

HUSK: Couldn't help but notice…Y'seem a bit…sniffly-

ANGEL: (still laughing, loving this bit) No shit, it's your fault!

HUSK: -But otherwise…Absolutely beautiful. I'm a bit sniffly myself…(feigns surprise) We have so much in common!

ANGEL: (laughs) Y'so cheesy...

HUSK: I would love nothing more than to dance with you…Whaddya say?

(ANGEL gets up and takes HUSK's arm, joining the bit as they begin to sway gently to the music)

ANGEL: Well sir, I'd love to…But between you an' me?...Keep this on the downlow, Y'don't wanna let my grump of a boyfriend know that I'm dancing with such a gentleman.

HUSK: Well, I dunno this fella…But if he's doin' anything right, I think he'd just be happy to see you happy.

(The two dance and sway in their pajamas for a while, wrapped in eachother's arms)

HUSK: One…Two…-....Hhhh

(ANGEL notices HUSK's twitching and hitching and offers to help.)

ANGEL: Honey?...Y'okay? Y'need a tissue?...A tissue?

HUSK: AH'ICKHH'HIOOoo!

ANGEL: Yeah, that's what I thought…Bless you Ol' Man.

HUSK: Uhhh….Th- Thank-....Tha-...uhh'ITSH'hooo

ANGEL: Salute, Mio Caro…Here.

(HUSK takes the offered tissue)

HUSK: (stuffily) Thank you baby…(he coughs amd hitches as another big painful sneeze is coming)...HEHRK'HOOOOOOO!

ANGEL: (clicks his tongue, sympathetic) Bless you!...I think that's our cue to get back in bed baby.

♥︎♠︎

(Scene 3 - Hours of reading later. The couple has reached the big twist of the heightening drama of the book. Daisy Buchanan was the one driving the car that hit Myrtle Wilson. Jay Gatsby, who's in love with Daisy, will take the blame. ANGEL's heart and weakened immune system cannot take this.)

ANGEL: (floored, heartbroken) Husk…No…No, it was Daisy?!

HUSK: (knew this was coming) Daisy was drivin' baby...

ANGEL: No!...She did it?...N-no!...Fuck no! (Throws the book) Goddamnit! (A coughing jag starts)

HUSK: Easy!...Easy, Jesus Christ…Breathe, baby, breathe…Are you okay?

ANGEL: (carries on) An' he's just gon' take the fall for her sorry ass…Oh my god! (Way too into the story.)

HUSK: (laughs a little at his partner's passion) I know…I know-...Shit Angel are you cryin'?

ANGEL: (He is. Emotional, sniffling)...S'just so fucked up.

HUSK: Easy now…I know…But that's the beauty of it…ain't it?

ANGEL: (crying, looks up, confused) B-beauty?...Of someone bein' a selfish bitch an' ruinin' lives?

HUSK: Nah, Ange, The beauty of the story…is in it's honesty…Shows us the darker sides of love…An' how far an fucked folks'll get protectin' it.

ANGEL: (quiet) Husk?…Husk.

HUSK: What's wrong lovebug?

ANGEL: (sadly)…Would you do that for me?...Would ya..t-take the fall?

HUSK: (nonchalantly) Hm, probably.

ANGEL: Even if it meant…everything?

HUSK: Lookatcha!...Y'gettin' all existential on me!

ANGEL: M'serious!

HUSK: (looks ANGEL in the eyes, with utter conviction) If it meant, keepin' you safe, keepin' y'by my side…Then yes…

(HUSK feels ANGEL's breathing start to hitch as he holds him)

HUSK: Alright baby…Quit cryin'...(Notices he's pulling away and fanning his face and grabbing a tissue)...Oh…O-oh, are you okay?

ANGEL: (breathlessly) No!...N-No, I'm gonna sneeze!...Itsh'uu!...Eck'hiiuu, Ehhhishhh'shuu!...Heh'rkk'kiew! (Groans) Oh go-...Irrkk'hew! (Gasp) Heh'Ihhk'hew…Eh…Ehyiiishhhiew!...

HUSK: Bless you, Bless you- Bless you!...Holy shit, Ange! …Fuckin' Shit! Aww baby…Shhh, Breathe baby.

ANGEL: ….Hhh….Aacksh'IEW!...(groans)

HUSK: (chuckles) Bless you!...Y'always sneeze like that?

ANGEL: (sniffles) Like what?...(realizes) Oh, I'm sorry! (Coughs) Not all of us start a damn natural disaster every time the pollen count goes up.

(HUSK belly laughs, ANGEL's jab was...pretty fair enough. HUSK's laugh trails off into little coughs and grows a bit raspy.)

HUSK: (lovingly firm) Alright, blow your nose.

(ANGEL blows thickly and groans)

HUSK: There y'go…Feel better?

ANGEL: (tired from his emotional burst and his sneezing fit, he deadpans) What do you think?

HUSK: (not really bothered by his partner's moodiness, but calls it out anyway) Damn, you're startin' to get a lil bitchy.

(ANGEL is too sleepy to argue with this, so he lays down and pulls the blanket up, snuggling into HUSK's side.)

ANGEL: (quiet)…Gonna take a nap.

HUSK: (coughs) That's a brilliant idea, Sweetheart…

(Nuggets comes out from under the bed and paws to be let up. HUSK pats the bed.)

HUSK: Well, c'mon!...Get on up, here.

♥︎♠︎

(Scene 4 - Another few hours later…a knock at the door wakes the couple)

ANGEL: (grumpily, sleepily, stuffily)...Hm, Who the fuck is that?... If anyone tries to enter this room with me looking like absolute shit…I will not hesitate to shoot them.

HUSK: (yawns, sleepily and raspily) S'okay, Ange, just stay in bed…I'll get it.

(HUSK coughs a jag into his arm as he answers the door. ANGEL lets our a rough Aagh'ish'hew!, and Nuggets greets Princess Charlie Morningstar behind the door, who's carrying a large thermos and still dressed in her pajamas.)

HUSK: Sorry…Hi, Princess.

CHARLIE: Holy shit…You guys sound awful (coughs roughly a little herself...revealing the bug is clearly going around)

ANGEL: Hell, you ain't sounding much better, Toots.

Charlie: (In-denial, laughs) No!...I'm fine- I'm fine, Angel…Nothing to worry about! Vaggie is downstairs with something nasty…So I'm gonna go take care of her, BUT I brought you guys some chicken soup, I hope you enjoy it!

HUSK: (smiles sincerely and takes the thermos) Much obliged…Thank you…(then looks doubtful) Are you sure you're okay?

CHARLIE: (giggles again, still denying) No! I'm fine! I'm fine guys, I- Hh! HEP'PTSH'SHIEEW!

(CHARLIE inherited her Dad's tendency to occasionally become a...flamethrower when sneezing. Tends to get worse with a cold. Her demon form is out. ANGEL, HUSK and Nuggets stare blankly, a bit scared.)

ANGEL:…Bless you.

HUSK:…Bless you.

HUSK: (quietly to ANGEL) I didn't jus' hallucinate, right?...Fire came out her nose…

ANGEL: (quietly back) Dunno, y'talkin' to a former crackhead, if anyone's hallucinatin' it should be me…

CHARLIE: Eh…Heh…Ih…IPTSH'SHIEEW!

ANGEL: (Gently, firmly, big brother energy) Charlie…Dollface?... Y'takin' care a' everybody…But don't forget to take care a' y'self. (as Charlie coughs, ANGEL melts and invites her in for a hug)...C'mere.

CHARLIE: (Emotional)...Oh, Angel!

ANGEL: (waving her off, still a bit nervous) Yeah, yeah… Just do me a favor? Try not to set me on fire?

(HUSK joins the hug, wrapping his wings around the three of them.)

HUSK: C'mere, kid…If you tell anybody about this…I will gut you like a fish. (No real bite)

CHARLIE: (beat.) Thank you guys…Um…Vaggie and I are gonna watch some movies in the lobby, if you guys wanna join us, you're free to!...And if you need anything, give us a holler- Well actually, don't do that- Save your voices…Okay, bye!

(Door closes)

HUSK: Could be fun…It'll help distract from your…existential dread.

ANGEL: (coughs) Hey, fuck off!...Anyway, I have a better distraction…

HUSK: What?...(realizes and stiffens) No!...No. Are- Are you really feelin' up to that right now?

ANGEL: (pouts) C'mon Whiskers, don'tcha want me to…feel better?...(muffles a stuffy sneeze behind his hands) Ktsch'yew!- Oh my god…

HUSK: (smirks) Need a tissue?

ANGEL: (sniffles) I need…YOU, Baby! Besides, didn'tcha know that the Pentagram's leadin' scientists and' medical professionals say 'Sex is good for a cold!'

HUSK: (contemplates, then smiles slyly and inches closer) Well…Then I guess we gotta do what we gotta do…For science.

ANGEL: (smiles back, sniffling) That's right, we're just doin' this for a good cause…In the name of 'Science'.

(They melt into an embrace in a slow passionate kiss.)

ANGEL: ...I love you

HUSK: ...I love you too

(ANGEL's nose gets brushed and he pulls away to harshly sneeze, and looks up apologetically)

ANGEL: ...Aack'shew!...Ugh sorry.

HUSK: (tenderly) Bless you, Sweetheart.

♥︎♠︎ - è finito

The end, hope you enjoyed!

[ripelytoo]

Sickly Vox~

(I don’t know why, but I hate my own art. I feel as though it’s not good enough and I keep having to restart every sketch I start with.. Hopefully you guys will enjoy it though! 😣)

[snotmorty]

Adam, you're gross 🙄

[snzysimper]

Merry Christmas All!!

I’ve wanted to write a Radio/dust fic for a while but never had any good ideas. Thankfully some anon hate given to @hehkshew was just the creative spark I needed!!

Merry Christmas friend. Together we can keep Radio/dust from dying!!

Haters gonna hate

1400 words

| I am allowed to write what I want and would appreciate you keeping whatever rude comments you have to yourself |

Angel Dust and Alastor. Not two names you often hear in the same sentence together. At least, not in a positive way. Most of the time the two are seen going at it with each other. Angel makes some sort of sexual comment and Alastor says something smart back. Angel always has to have the last word which leads to it dragging on for quite some time.

This of course is in the presence of others. Behind closed doors things are much less…hostile. Their relationship is a bit complicated. They are dating but are more of each other's “boyfrienemys”. In the end there aren't any hard feelings.

Not everyone is quite so fond of their “special” friendship. Charlie was ecstatic to hear that the two were getting along. Vaggie on the other hand, while supportive, was mildly annoyed that two of her least favorite people in the hotel could now team up to drive her insane. Husk was indifferent, Nifty didn’t really care and Sir Pentious…well, he was dead. But that’s not important. This isn’t about him.

“The fuck do ya want Al?” Angel is met by his antlered friend outside of the porn studio. The deer flashes his usual smile. “I was sent by our lovely princess to come and retrieve you.. Is that such a problem?”

Angel rolls his eyes. “I don't need a personal escort just ‘ta come back from work.” Nonetheless, the spider follows behind his partner.

On the walk back, the two make casual conversation. The two almost seem to be enjoying each other's company. “Don’t touch me.” Alastor glares at his companion. Angel Dust playfully pokes his cheek. “Aww, don’t be like that Al.”

“Why can’t you learn to keep your hands to yourself?”

“Oh, trust me. People pay the big bucks for me to put my hands all over ‘em.”

“Repulsive.”

Angel makes a kissy face. “C’mon baby, lighten up.” Alastor growls. “I suggest you remove your hand if you wish to keep it.” The spider proceeds to ruffle the other’s hair. “Be honest, y’know you’d never do that ta lil ol me.” Alastor rolls his eyes. “You’re lucky I care about you,” he says in hardly a whisper. Angel mocks the deers radio voice. “You’ve heard it here first folks, the Radio Demon has a heart after all!!”

Alastor wouldn’t be caught dead saying the ‘l-o-v-e’ word, let alone in the presence of others. “Shut up.” Perhaps they aren’t both enjoying each other's company after all.

The clouds turn dark and cover the sky. A light drizzle becomes a downpour within a matter of seconds. “Ugh, shit.” Angel turns to notice that his “personal chauffeur” is nowhere to be found. He stands in the rain briefly, looking around in every direction. “Al?” He soon finds him under an overhang. That cheeky bastard. “Oh, yeah. Don’t bother takin’ me with ‘ya.” The spider hurries over to the deer.

“Thanks asshole.” The deer laughs. “You’re welcome my dear.” Angel groans. “I fuckin’ hate you.” The deer sustained minimal damage from the rain, meanwhile Angel is drenched. He does his best to shake some of the excess water off of his fur. “Watch it,” Alastor puts his arm up to shield himself from the flying water droplets.

It doesn’t take long before other sinners join them underneath the overhang, seeking shelter. “It appears we may be stuck here for a bit.” Alastor looks up at the dark, cloudy sky.

Angel can’t help but endlessly complain. “I fuckin’ hate this. I’m cold, wet and exhausted. I worked all damn day. I just wanna crash in my room and not wake up till tomorrow.” As he keeps complaining, Alastor gives the occasional “Mhm” to assure his partner that he is listening and offering moral support.

“Perhaps if you didn’t wear such little clothing and covered up a bit more you wouldn’t be in this predicament.” Angel raises his fist. “Why I outta-!!” The deer closes one eye, the other’s cornea turning black. “I wouldn’t try that if I were you.” Angel groans. “Oh fuck you.”

Angel suddenly turns to his boyfriend, almost in a fit of rage. “Wait, can’t you just use your voodoo magic shit to teleport us back?” Alastor grimaces. “I’d rather not risk overshooting seeing as the hotel is quite the distance away. Especially in the rain.”

“Besides, I’d rather the two of us not be seen so closely together,” Alastor quietly hisses at Angel. Angel crosses his arms. “You and ‘ya damn ego. Are you really that ashamed of being seen with me?” The deer looks around before leaning towards his companion. “Not specifically you, although it certainly doesn’t help considering your…profession.”

“Oh, fuck off.” Angel shivers, wrapping his arms around himself. “Fuck it’s cold. How much longer we gotta wait here?”

As Angel continues complaining, he suddenly inhales sharply, his head leaning back slightly before jerking forward and bending at the waist as he sneezes. “hH’EhT-kKT’shUH!! ” He groans as he rubs his face. “Motha’ fuck’a, I swear to god if I’m gettin’ sick I’m gonna fuckin-hHI’ETDd-Zziew!! Ugh, fuck.” Alastor remains silent, seemingly ignoring Angel’s struggles and misery.

Alastor pulls a handkerchief from his coat pocket. “I would appreciate you keeping your germs to yourself.” Angel laughs, accepting the handkerchief. “Aww, you worried bout me antlers?” The deer growls, a warning for him not to push his luck.

Angel takes a step back. “Ok ok, calm down. Geez.” The two sinners seem to be particularly enjoying themselves. “Looks like the porn star finally found someone who thinks he’s worthwhile.”

Angel rolls his eyes, sniffling. It’s hard for him to roam the streets unrecognized. If he’s not being cat called then he’s being thrown a derogatory comment. “Assholes,” he mutters to himself. Considering his job in the porn industry, he’s used to people only caring about him for sexual benefits. Thankfully enough Alastor couldn’t care less about using Angel for sex.

Alastor can’t help but notice Angel’s mild change in demeanor. “Just ignore them, dear. They can’t hurt you if you don’t let them.” He remains facing forward, not making eye contact with Angel or the other sinners.

“Aww, how cute. Is the big bad radio demon trying to make you feel better? Can’t even stand up for himself. No wonder he’s the sub.”

Alastor’s eyebrows furrow slightly. He generally wouldn’t give it a second thought but something about seeing Angel’s face hearing the insults makes him mildly annoyed. “I’d refrain from antagonizing him if I were you. It’d be a shame if it were to escalate unnecessarily.”

“Al, don’t. It’s fine. I’m used to it anyway.” Angel doesn’t sound so much hurt or offended as he does pissed off. This only fuels the fire.

“Yep! Keep telling yourself that! You can’t really think that Alastor of all people would give two shits about you. If you can’t keep an average sinner around, what makes you think you can win yourself an overlord?”

As if almost natural instinct, Alastor casually empales both sinners with a black tendril. They are flung off to lord knows where.

“Oh, damn. Uh,” Angel watches in awe. He’s not quite sure whether to feel touched or terrified. Either way, he blushes, smiling. “Thanks for that, smiles.” Alastor sighs. The two are now alone under the overhang.

“Don’t let them get to you. They know nothing about you or who you really are.” Alastor looks almost embarrassed as he says this. Angel laughs. “Wow, you’re bein’ bold today, ain’t ya? Complimenting me out in public. Damn, maybe you really do have a heart after all…hH’EKk-DdsHIE’uUh!!”

Angel sniffles as he rubs his face again, this time with the provided handkerchief. Alastor sighs. “Come on,” he removes his coat and drapes it over Angel so it acts as an umbrella. “The sooner we get back, the sooner you can dry off.”

The spider laughs. “Aww, you sure are bein sweet to me. You sure you didn’t fall an’ hit your head…II’Hh-GgsSh’EUGH!!” He grimaces, clearing his throat quietly. “Ow…”

Alastor begins walking. “I assure you my love, I am quite alright. You on the other hand won’t be if you are out here much longer.”

Alastor promptly takes Angel by the arm and continues down the sidewalk. Angel blushes. This is about the closest they’ve gotten to holding hands in public. And probably the closest they’ll get for a while.

Angel sighs, smiling. “Thanks Al.”

“You’re welcome, Angel.”

[goodlucksnez]

Is h/azbin snez peeps still around?

we;; either way...ENJOY

DO NOT REBLOG TO NON-KINK BLOGS

MINORS FUCK OFF

cw/tw: Sneezing (duh), hitching, mentions of s/ex w/orkers, glitching, sfx of robotic sounds and computer things, implied romance

I swallowed my pride and finally made a wav with the moth! I cannot do accents so I tried my best

Also sticking with the headcannon V/ox has bad allergies to pollen in hell.

transcript below:

*Vox snez*

Hmm. Blessing. Ohh. That's the fifth time today mi amor …Is it already that time of year?

Don't even. Go there, Val.

You know this happens to you every now and again.

I know, I know every. Fucking tree. It hell deciders to…to. *snez* fuckin hell bloom

If this is how you are in hell. I would love to see you when you were alive I bet it was so entertaining.

Not really. Although they did have medicine. The best I can here do here is drink myself to...

Mi Television. I can tell you feel awful.

And yet you seem in high spirits. Do I want to know?

 You know I'm a proprietor of kinks , mi amor I’m surprised you have to ask

Uh. I appreciate the sentiment.…*snez*  I don't think I'm in the mood right now to play.

Very well, very well. I’ll take your confession.

 What confession?

That you need my help and I'll let you be.

*hitching*.

Really convincing there. Come on, voxy. You know you need me. You never get over those fits without it. I'm pretty sure half of hell remembers when you tried. How long did that blackout last?

Fine

Oh. You know that's not enough. Consent. mi amor. It's very important.

Fine Val. Help me you fucking masochistic Kicky motherfucker

*hitching and snez*

Oh, goodness. Goodness. Come here. mi amor, come here. I got you.

Ohh hold still

It tickles

Do you want to stop? I would suggest killing you, but. I think it would be more fun if you were alive. I always enjoyed a little plaything.

Fuck *snez*

You are holding me so tight!!

 I'm not even gonna elicit them with a response.

 Ohh. Your poor vents are Working overtime and I can practically feel the air blowing out myself.

Oh, God, don't even. Mentioned that..

Well, if you wanted to stop, might I suggest actually shutting the window for once

And pay for AC you may keep your studio as cold as. *snez* fucking saten.

We've all dreamed of that. Although I don't think he enjoys the sentiments, from what I've understood, he's a little bit of a how do I say, exclusive clientele? He only likes that bitch wife of his.

*shutting window* fine there at least more more of the ..*hitching*

Ohh, you can't even say the word. Do you mean pollen?

*Fits*

I will be definitely letting the media outlets know about expecting blackouts this week.

If you stoped fucking with me and actually helped.

And now can I help…do enlighten me.

 Do you have any handkerchiefs?

 You are so old fashioned. Most of the whores I hired now use tissues to get the job done. And yet you would like a pocket square

Easier on my screen.

 Oh. Very well. Here you go.

Thanks. You're going to stand there and watch me.

Oh, come on. I thought we already went over this.

*Blows nose*

Do you feel better now?

I think you're going to give me an encore Corazon.

*hitching*

I got you. I'm holding. I got you. Come on. Oh. Well done.

I hate you

I love you too.

Don't worry, I'll take care of that cute little face of yours. For as long as the pollen may last.

 Yay, yay yay…just another fucking week with val, fuck my life.

[glitterrosesnzz]

anyways. y'all remember that one "demons who are allergic to being blessed" post someone made like. idk a while back i don't remember- yeah anyways.

L/ucifer still having that instinct to bless someone when they sneeze cause yknow, used to be an angel, but now it just makes the situation worse + sets himself off-

[lil-pink-coupe]

Vox (posing for a driver’s license photo) : Hold it. Wait, I need to…(sneezes) KACHOOO!

~ Later, at the Vee Tower ~

Velvette: Wow, this is your best driver’s license photo EVER!

Vox (calling over to Valentino, who is laughing his ahh off) : Until this expires, I will be driving EXACTLY the speed limit!

[snzficsaturn]

What about V/ox snz headcannons? 💕

This may not be the biggest revolution, but I think it’d be funny if he snzed in multiples and each one changed his screen to a different channel.

Or if it’s singles, all you get is static or color bars for a split second.

When sick, he gets that glitchy pixelated static.

His old TV model (I believe that he upgraded his head every whatever years) would completely blow a tube after a particularly harsh snz and he would require assistance to replace his whole head.

[maladyinpink]

🔊TENDING THE BARTENDER ♥︎♤ Haz/bin Ho/tel Wav

AI PROJECTS WILL ALWAYS BE STRICTLY AI FREE

Thank you for your patience everyone, after the long wait. Here is the next wav in the series! (the eighth in listening order). I would have had it up yesterday, but I fell asleep on my keyboard 😬 Anywho...I hope all my fellow Husker/Dust fans enjoy! And SPECIAL THANKS to my beta readers @zensations35, @themiseryandcompany and @very-freakin-effable for cameo-ing and voicing my very Irish, disgruntled bar patron. Much love to you all.

Format is a little different this time, guys, bare with me ♡

TENDING THE BARTENDER: It's early spring in Pentagram City and one of Angel's rare days off from work. After a shopping spree and a lovely walk with a happy piggy, he returns to the Hotel bar to find Husk in an...itchy situation.

CW: Allergic Fittish Cat-like Sneezes, Loud Sneezes Come later, Adorable couple antics, And...a song...hehehe

TITLE CARD

Script is below, enjoy!

- Baci, Baci, Pink

(It's early spring in Pentagram City and one of ANGEL DUST's day rare days off from work. He's decided to spend part of the day shopping, with Fat Nuggets in tow on his leash. It's late afternoon/early evening and they've just made their way back up to the Hotel's front gates and courtyard.)

ANGEL: Fat Nuggets!...Was that a good day?

C’mon sweetie!...C’mon...Do you have to sniff every tree?...EVERY fuckin’ tree?...Wanna pee on the bush? Alright, pee on the bush (he sighs as Nuggets rustles through the bush and does his business) Alright…C'mon ya little bastard, I got dinner duty  tonight!…Yeah, c’mon… G-Good boy…Yeah, you're so goo-…Oof, Hey! ‘Scuse me, asshole!

(A bar patron has stormed out of the lobby into the courtyard and nearly runs into the pair.)

PATRON: Bloody abysmal! Can't get one lousy drink…What a fuckin' schmuck!

(ANGEL winces as the patron storms away and realizes that something must have happened) 

ANGEL: ...Yeesh, that don' sound good…C'mon, Nuggs…Let's go see 'Papa' the bar.

(ANGEL opens the door and enters back into the lobby with Nuggs.

HUSK: (mutters angrily to himself) The fuck do I care? Make y'own drink...Ain't in the mood f'jack shit!...Come to m’bar and fuckin’ yell…

 ANGEL: …Hon?

HUSK: ( growls, startled, his ears pin down, sputters uncharacteristically)…Angel?…m’Sorry, …y'know I'd-…I jus’...Uh… shit.

(ANGEL can tell by now when his man is going through something and knows the old defense mechanism like an old friend by this point. He doesn't take it personally.)

ANGEL: (tender) Hey…S'okay…We was just out shoppin' an' we was just checkin' on you…Someone got a new sweater an' wanted to say Hi to Papa. Say Hi to Papa!…

(ANGEL giggles and waves Nugget's little hoof and Nuggets gives a happy little oink.)

HUSK: (grumpily, deadpans)…Hi, Pig.

ANGEL: (fat-nuggets/baby voice, then falls out of it.) Heyo, Papa?...Is you angy?...Is you, havin' a bad day?... Did somebody go an' piss in y'flask?...Like uh, seriously who are we killin' tonight, honey? 

HUSK: (sighs) Nah, it ain't like that…don' worry 'bout it…Jus’ another shit day…

(HUSK sniffs)

ANGEL: Husk?…Have you been cryin’?

(HUSK looks up at ANGEL like he’s grown two heads)

HUSK: …M’fine.

ANGEL: (gestures at the tissue box, jokes) Well, don't tell me are for jerkin’ off behind the bar?…

(this earns him a growl)

ANGEL: (catches himself)…Sorry, I know…not in the mood.

HUSK: (reiterates)…M'fine…hhh..Heht’kmtch’choo!...Hitschtt’schoo!...Htschh’Schuhh!

(HUSK writes in his notepad, rustles through his stock and counts, hitches and stifles a few sneezes, these ones quieter than his usually loud sneezes, Angel casually acknowledges and blesses the first one, until he keeps going, a bit fittishly, like a stressed cat, Husk rubs at the bridge of his muzzle and sniffles.)

ANGEL: (sympathetic) Uh-oh, Bless you!...Aw, Papa's sneezin'...You don't...got a cold now, do ya?-" 

HUSK: (he clears his throat, tries to gain his bearings, his tone is firm) No…Nahh…ehht'khtxhh! Tchscht’shhuhh!

ANGEL: …Ain't nothin' if ya was…We took care a eachother last time, remember?

HUSK: (he starts to warn)...This ain't like last time…Ehht’chhu!...Tsht’iihhh!...

ANGEL: (undeterred) Well yeah, for starters, why're ya pinchin' y'muzzle like that? That sounds like it hurts…(hears another big stifle) Aww, y'wings are shakin'.

HUSK: (shakily) I'm Fihhne!...eTtschhht'tdiiew!

ANGEL: …Bless you!…That don't sound fine.

HUSK: (Bites) Christ! Ange, I don't have a cold! I'm fuckin' doin' fine...Now leave me be...'fore I bite ya head off.

ANGEL: (Bites back, mutters) Alright y'big bully, I'll leave y'be…Jesus, thought we were past this…You ain't gonna push me away like 'at. Heaven forbid, I should worry about my man, an' wanna take care a' his sorry ass.

HUSK: (softens, sighs tiredly, closes off.) …M'sorry, Sweetheart…Don' worry bout me, you-...Look, it's ya day off…jus' focus on you.

ANGEL: (scoffs, petty)...Really?….Tch, well then, if you'll excuse me...I, Angel Dust...am gonna make MYSELF...a cuppa tea...with honey…and a lil' liquid courage…I don't suppose you want any...Fat Nuggets? It's so chilly outside, ain't it little man?...

(HUSK mutters to himself and scratches and lets out another rough cat-like sneeze, as ANGEL is talking to Fat Nuggets and goes to the kitchen about stupid feathers and how itchy he is blowing his muzzle into his last tissue, sadly sighing. He continues to take inventory, and scrubs and sniffles his snout. ANGEL comes out of the kitchen humming with two mugs filled with tea and some clinking spoons in each one.)

ANGEL: There we go, one for me, and one for my boy, now where is-…Ah, there it is! Good ol' Jacky D!…You know what, Nuggs?...There's some real drama queens 'round here.

(He unscrews the top off the whiskey bottle and pours in a splash into each mug)

 HUSK: Hm, Drama queen is right…

ANGEL: …An' you know...Nuggs…Some of them folks is real stubborn...an' forget that they deserves a bit of TLC too from time to time…

(ANGEL stirs each mug. Nuggets silently watches and blinks.) 

ANGEL: Yeah, I know, right?...But, Che Cazzo! What can ya do...when you love 'em?" 

 S'why you gotta keep remindin' them that ya there, ready to love em, an' take care a' them, even when they're bein' all grumpy and stubborn...

HUSK: Tschtt!...Tsscht’iew!...Heh’EhK'eww!...HAHK’HOO!...HRRRT’SHEW!

(As HUSK sneezes and the fit gets harsher, his wings flap and flutter, shedding a bunch of red and black feathers. His tail flicks up and comically kinks up at each big sneeze.)

ANGEL: (gently) Salute…Salute…Salute, baby. Here.

(He slides 'Nuggets' tea mug directly in front of his partner. HUSK holds a claw under his nose and sniffs, embarrassed.)

HUSK: (quietly behind his paw, but very grateful) …Uh...Much obliged Ange.

ANGEL: (knowing, tender, huffs a slight smug laugh)…Y'welcome.

HUSK: (as if admitting)…I know you care...You know, I-…I still ain't used to that shit.

ANGEL: Well, I ain't usually playin' nurse either. But that's what partners do, right? …We take care'a each other at our shit lowest. 

HUSK: (chuckles) You ain't exactly Florence Nightingale, Sweetheart.

ANGEL: Maybe not, but I'd look damn fine in her corset, Eh?...Y'want a hanky?...Give y'poor schnozz a hoot…

(HUSK takes Angel's offered handkerchief and sniffles, his wings flutter out and we hear some scratching and he lets out another big AHT'SHEW!.)

ANGEL: There y'go! (he mimics his gruff boyfriend's loud sneeze lovingly) Achoo!…Now tell Nurse Angel what's gotcha all ruffled up.

(HUSK finally lets out a huge loud allergic fit that he’s clearly been holding back. This one sounds like the sneezes that ANGEL has grown used to.)

HUSK: (muffled) HEHGH’SHUHhhh…ERRTTSH’SHUHhhh…ERRTTSH’ScHhOOooo…

ANGEL: Bless you…Bless you…After you finish…doin’ THAT.

HUSK: (muffled)…AHRttsch’HOO…HEHck’SHMMmm!

ANGEL: (sympathetic, tuts, worried) Babycakes, I ain’t ever heard y’sound like this…Y’sure y’okay?

HUSK: …ACK’TCHHOoo! (he blows his muzzle and groans, then breathes through his teeth) …God…S'Embarassin'...Y'won't laugh?

ANGEL: Cross my heart…s'just me, Husk.

(HUSK hesitates and growls in frustration, but knows Angel is being sincere, and slowly manages to let out what's been bothering him.)

HUSK: Look, I ain't sick….I just- s'fuckin' spring, everythin' is fuckin' bloomin' an' Ihhh...I'm- HEHGH'SHOOooo!…m'hhhh?....hhh…Moltin'...an'...ahhhn' it's!-...EhhTSH’HOOoo!…(sighs) fuckin' itchy…M'like a goddamn feather duster...ERSTCH’SHOO!

ANGEL: (snorts, this is VERY adorable)…D'Awww, honey!

HUSK: (pleading)…Sweetheart

(ANGEL composes himself, he made a promise, no matter how adorable he thinks this is. He is also very sympathetic and empathetic to this…as he knows the feeling.)

ANGEL: Ahem, sorry…I ain't laughin' at cha…An' look, it ain't nothin' to be hidin' about, hon…I know s'uncomfortable as fuck…S'gotcha all stressed…Y-y'know I got allergies an' I molt too, comin' up real soon actually…an' all that skin and fur…it ain't pretty…I know how y'feel, m'sorry.

HUSK: ...Jus' shitty timing…I'd usually take care of it m'self…but ever since we lost that shipment, countin' inventory's been fucked up, ahhn' Alastor…hahhs…mhhe… AHSTCH'OOO!

ANGEL: (sweetly, gently) Bless you…Anything I can do?...Getcha a Belphadryl?

(HUSK just grunts noncommittally. His wall is still up, but ANGEL hasn't given up and just wants to help him feel better, pamper his man like a prince.)

ANGEL: I can do that!… S'my turn to make dinner…I'll cook my Nonna's Pesto Gnocchi, that you liked so much, hm?…How's about-…How's 'bout a massage?..Yeah?...Six hands, sound any good?

(HUSK’s ears perk a little…ANGEL sees that he's starting to break through HUSK's wall…a little. ANGEL gives HUSK'S temple a sweet kiss.)

ANGEL: (tries the waters) Okay…Hm…Y'know I've been around, with a lot a sinners, I know a thing or two about uh…preenin' an-

HUSK: (wall is back up, abrupt) No!...None a’that shit!

ANGEL: (sighs) …Okay…if y'sure...Honey, ain't no need for pride, but I understand…But..if I can do somethin' so y'ain't sufferin', you jus' tell me, okay?

I can see it when you're feelin’ low

You can't hide that from me!

You're no status quo calico

So why keep tryin’ to be?

'Cause you're more than that

You're my big bad cat

I wish you could see the you I see

Honey?…Well, I say

If you molt celebrate it

Brand new coat, serenade it

Gotta gloat over a cat like you

And if…

What you are is a strange you

Doesn't mean you should change you

Only means you should change your point of view

Hey feline

You are just fine

To thine ownself be true

Fur and Down's 

The cat's meow

It's how I know you're you

You can call me Pazzo gattara

Bid your woes sayonara

Trust your nose 'cause it knows the way to go

When you

Wave ya tail you're enchanting

Your a swell confidante babe

In all'a hell, Molto Belissimo!

There is not one hair on you

That I would rearrange

I love you the way you are

And that will never change

That will never change

ANGEL: …Hon?...Husk-

HUSK: (the wall crumbles, and he sniffles and sighs)…Brush an' a lil thing of oil in m'room…Jus' keep quiet…No fussin'.

ANGEL: (smiles, proud) Aye Aye, Cap'n!…Ey, Nuggsy, Take care a’Papa for a minute, kay?…Be back in a minute!

HUSK: …HEH'IRSCH'Sshooo!

ANGEL: (called back) Bless you, honey!

(Nuggets, sitting on the bartop, oinks and stares at HUSK as if to say his own little blessing.)

HUSK: …Whatchu gawkin' at, Porkchop?

(Nuggets…of course doesn't answer and just snorts. HUSK melts a little, sighs and chuckles. He pets Nuggets between his horns.)

HUSK: (a little tender)...A silly Ol' bastard?...Yeah?...C'mere…Good boy.

- E finito - Pink

[ripelytoo]

I love torturing him.. I still have more ideas to torture him and make him miserable..

[snotmorty]

I wanted to draw boob snz so, have Angel D/ust trying to work through a cold (poor thing)

Uncensored version on my bluesky

[sickficsaturn]

snz headcanons for a hel/la/verse character(s) of your choice

~ Effy

Thank you so much for the ask!

Cracks knuckles

It’s hard to choose any of them, so I’ll begin with brief bullet points for the mains and if you’d like a deeper dive of any, let me know

He//uva:

Blitz:

-Sneezes punctuated by silly little swears and quips.

-Loud, spread out singles.

-pure denial mode over any allergies or illness. Will hold this stance to his final breath (exaggerating, but only slightly).

-Stolas’ feathers get to him sometimes!

Stolas:

-rapid multiples, at the mercy of his beak.

-chronic stifler

-super polite, embarrassed of his sneezes.

-pretty celestial themed handkerchiefs!

-Sad, wet cat of a man who plays up any minor inconvenience for Blitz’s attention, but recluses when something is genuinely off.

Millie:

-I…I want her to have the kink.

-unapologetic sneezer, often into her hands or just bent at the hip/aimed at the ground.

-not one to enjoy being cared for when ill, but if Moxxie insists, she appreciates the attention from him.

Moxxie:

-for some reason, I see him doing an occasional, accidental scream-sneeze. This embarrasses him greatly. Millie thinks it’s cute and funny ��️

-Definitely melodramatic when ill, just a disaster of a man, but Millie is more than happy to take care of her hubby!

Loona:

-Sneezes often due to her sensitive snout.

-Either loud and abrasive (sometimes exaggerated just to startle certain people…ahem…Moxxie.) or nearly silent due to her upbringing- don’t show weakness.

-I associate the term “snot-nosed” with being an edgy/bratty/‘punk’ type, so, messy, even on a normal day.

Haz//bin:

Charlie:

-I adore others’ headcannon that her magic malfunctions when she sneezes, causing embarrassing mishaps that she always overapologizes for.

-Couldn’t survive a cold without Vaggie doting on her (Well, of course she could, but…she wouldn’t want to!)

Vaggie:

-louder vocalization on the inhale compared to the sneeze itself. Like “HUH-ksssh!”

-All around strong, including her immune system. However, how the mighty fall, if she’s ill it’s always a devastating chill, nothing small.

Angel:

-gotta lotta fluff ta muffle things into! Coughs? Sneezes? Built-in silencers.

-curls in on himself as he sneezes (a la dead spider.)

-makeup is his best friend to hide symptoms of a cold best he can (though with excessively watery eyes, goodbye eyeliner)!

Alastor:

-I agree with the fandom’s headcannons of having an electric-sounding sneeze and despising sneezing as a whole. It’s a sign of weakness to him, after all.

-photic

Husk:

-DAD SNEEZES.

-recluses when sick, literally hides.

Pentious:

-his hair/hood opens up fully during each sneeze.

-overly polite, doesn’t want to be a bother in any way.

Apologies for taking so long with this response

If there’s anyone who isn’t here that you’d like me to post about, my asks are open!

[hzbinnerdlover]

Late Evening sickness (Part 2)

(I gotta request to do a part 2- and I couldn't resist so here's that lol. Enjoy!)

Val laid in the bed as he ate the takeout that Vox had promised him, yearning and missing his TV demon husband. Vox had to suddenly rush back to work after breakfast, some kind of emergency or something which pisses him off, but he understood since he could just take the elevator back to their floor easily. So the rest of the day Kitty took care of him, bringing him drinks and water and tissues, anything he could need really.

Val whined as he laid back against his pillow and felt his throat, the soreness coming through as he sighed. "Goddammit. Course this fucking happens to me." Giving a stuffy sniffle he goes back to his phone for entertainment.

"This fucking blows! I just...want....gah...GA'SHOO!!! ECK'SHUU!!! HIP'SHUUUU!!! Ugh...."

"Bless you beautiful", Val perked up as he looked over, seeing Vox standing in the doorway as he smiled softly. "How are we feeling hm? Any better?" He asks as he takes off his suit jacket and hangs it up, clearing his throat a bit.

"Yeah, better. The medicine helps a lot. Makes me feel a little less congestion, sneeze a bit less. But I still feel like shit", Val sighs as he grabs a tissue and blows his nose, sighing in relief afterwards and tossing it away. "Yeah well, you'll probably be sick for at least a few more days Val. That's typically how colds work." Vox goes over to his drawer as he starts taking off his bowtie, back turned towards Val as he's putting it away in the drawer. Giving a loud whine Val shakes his head. "Yeah well I hate it! I just want it to stop! It just hurts and makes me cold, and it's worse if you can't be here with me and I feel so-"

"Hzztu!" A small noise interrupts Val, leaving the moth rather confused as he looks around. "The fuck- did you hear that?" Vox shrugged as he started making hus way towards his closet and rubs eyes, looking for something more comfortable as he removed his vest.

"Huh- well. What was I saying? Right. Being sick is a fucking BITCH! I'm telling ya! My fucking nose is gonna fall off from all this fucking sneezing, I can't stand it. It just makes it....all the....heh...", Val hitches slightly as tho about to sneeze before he hears another small sound. "H-Hzztu!" Val immediately stops and blinks, the sound distracting him from his sneeze as he groans. "Dammit Vox, is something glitching in here? If so it's pissing me off."

"Sorry baby, not sure what it is. I'll have to check it out in a bit." He sighs as he looks around for something, giving a slight shiver. "Shit. Val, have you seen my hoodie? The blue one with the Giant shark on the back?"

"Huh? Oh. Pretty sure it's in the very back there hon. You haven't worn that one in awhile-"

Vox rolled his eyes and reaches back as he starts pulling it out with a pair of pj pants, quickly changing as Val continues his rant, "Ugh they really did make this hell didn't they? It's unbelievable!!!" He gives an eye roll as he coughs a bit.

Vox rubs his head, getting tired of all the whining. "I know it sucks Val, but I'm sure you'll feel better soon. Can we not talk about this right now...? My head is pounding..."

"Well- this was gonna happen whether you were here now or earlier- so it's happening now cause I've barely had anyone to talk to except texting Velvette! And that isn't very-" he stops when he notices Vox's eyes close and tilts his head confused. "Vox- shit does it hurt that bad...?"

Vox simply nodded as he turned his back to him, raising a sleeve to his face as another sound came out. "Hzztu!!! Hzztu!!!"

Val raises an eyebrow at him and blinks. "So that is you? The fuck kind of noises are you making there, it's hard to tell"

Vox groaned as he looked at him with a slightly annoyed look. "Look can I just get 5 minutes to just...think things throught...I....heh...." shutting his eyes again Vox shook his head, no longer able to stifle.

"H-HIT'ZZZZZZUUUUUU!!!", giving a groan as he swiped hie hand across his face, his cheeks giving a slightly flushed look as he looks at Val. Val stared back, the two of them going into a silence for a moment before the moth finally spoke. "......YOU'RE FUCKING SICK TOO?!?!"

"Um well- just a little Val- it's fine. Not a big de-"

"Dont start with that shit!!! Did you go to fucking work like this?! While you were fucking sick?!"

"Uuuuuuuuh-" Vox blinked as he looked away, thinking back to earlier today.

(Earlier that day)

Vox groaned as he starts walking down to the office. "Jesus this fucking sucks....course I have to get sick same fucking day Val does. H-Hzztu!!!", he stifles into his sleeve to try to keep the sneezes as hidden as he can. He did NOT want anyone else to know he was sick around here. Quickly he got into his office and sighed in relief. "Thank god...I just stay in here, and no one has to know."

He walks over to hus chair and slumps down, sighing as he pulls up hus forms and emails and starts getting to work. Hearing footsteps enternhe groans and turns around.

"Yes? Who the fuck is-" he then saw it was hid assistant, Eli, giving a smile with some of paperwork and reports he no doubt had to share. "M-Mr.Vox, I have this week's reports to read to you sir." Of course he did. Of course he fucking did. Vox sighed and stood back up as he walked over. "Fine fine, let's just get this over with. Quickly please."

"O-Oh right- so. There was an incident this week with the marketing department, but it should be relatively easy for us to fix and-", Eli swished his eel tail back and forth as he continued reading the rest of the messages and reports that came for this week. Vox could barely pay attention tho as he felt a familiar itch hitting his face. Trying desperately not to focus on it he mentally told himself, "No no, come on not now. Please", but it was no use. The itch was pursuing and there was no way to stop it.

Seeing Eli was focused on the task at hand Vox quickly turned away to attempt to stifle again. "H'zzztu! H'zzztu!"

Eli blinked for a moment as his eyes looked up from the paper. "Did you say something sir?"

Vox sniffed as he shook his head. "No, nothing. Please continue" he insisted as he put hid hands behind his back. Unfortunately stifling all the time like this just made Vox's nose itch even more, so badly that as Eli went back to his reports, Vox's breath started hitching a bit.

It only got deeper and deeper, more noticeably audible as Eli once again looked up rather concerned. "Sir...?"

Vox shook his head as he tries to fight it back. "D-Dont worry about it, i-it's j-just heh...." Turning away again he knew he couldn't hold back. "H-HZZZZZTUUU!!!!!", sneezing loudly this time around he groaned in annoyance, feeling his nose run as he sniffled.

"Oh! Bless you Mr.Vox! Are you feeling well there...?" Vox nodded as he attempted to respond. "I'm fine, I'm just- TSK'SHIEEEW! HIT'ZUUUUU! Ugh....I'm fine." He finally spits out with a damp sniffle and another groan.

Eli looks at him rather worried, reaching for something in his pocket. "Um, if you don't mind me sir, I believe I have something that'll help." Giving a warm smile he pulls out a travel sized packet of tissues and holds them out to his TV demon boss.

Looking over slowly he glances at the tissues, sighing in defeat as he reaches over and takes one from the pack. "Ugh, thank you. Just don't tell- ACK'SHEEEW! Scuse me, don't tell anyone about this okay?"

He then let's out a gurgling blow into the tissue and let's out cough.

"Yes sir of course. Feel free to take the rest of the pack if you need it, and if you're falling ill I can bring some lemon tea for you. I imagine your throat must hurt."

Vox nods as he sighs and takes the pack of tissues finishing up wiping his nose with the wet used one. "Thank you...that would be wonderful. I'm gonna try to get some work done, don't let anyone else in for the day." Sighing he watches Eli leave and goes back to his work, slumping in his seat as he focuses at the task at hand.

(Back to the present)

Val gave a heavy sigh and facepalms. "You fucking idiot-"

"I had to Val! There's was shit that needed to be done!"

"Oh please, I'm sure your little assistant could've handled everything just fine. Now you listen to- Dammit hold on-" Val turns away and inhales sharply as another sneeze fit goes through. "Ech'shuuu! HI'CHUUU!!! IP'SHUUUU!!! Heh...HICK'CHUUU!!! ACHIEEEW!!!! Fucking christ"

He sniffles loudly as he groans and grabs a couple tissues, blowing his nose into them with a heavy breath.

Vox rolled his eyes as he mutters under his breath. "Bless you...can you not get on my- Hzztu!" Turning into his sleeve he let out a few stifled sneezes. "Hzzztu! Hzztu! Hzztu! Ugh..."

Raising an eyebrow Val rolled his own eyes and gave a slightly amused chuckle. "Bless YOU, Cariño, you really should stop trying to stifle them. It just makes the itch worse. Tho I'm sure you know that at this point." He grabs the tissue box and holds it out. "You need one?"

Vox nods as he groans. "God yes please, I ran out in the office." He walks over, hovering a bit as he shivered and coughs. Reaching out he grabs one immediately. "Thank you- Hzzztu! Thank you so much." Giving a sniffle he wipes his nose before coughing again.

"Voxieeeee, now what was I saying before hm? As amusing as thus is~ You're not doing yourself any favors." Vox shot him a glare as he finishes mopping up his face. "Oh fuck you, it's a hard habit to kill okay? I'm used to it. Heh....oh fuck..." Throwing the tissue out he breathes deeply for what he assumes is an incoming sneeze, only for it to get stuck as he stops and groans. "Come ooooon, seriously?" Plopping onto the bed he looks at Val desperately. "Vaaaaal it's stuck"

Val gives a slight chuckle to which Vox gives a slightly annoyed look. "You little- heh....heh....gaaaah dammit stop laughing at me!!! I'm serious I just wanna fucking-" he stops when Val leans over and gives a simple blow of air towards Vox's face.

"Heh.....heh....", suddenly the tickle came back in an instant, freeing his poor sinuses. "Heh....HICK'SHUUUUUU!!!!! ECK"CHHHUUU!!!! HIT'ZUUUUU!!!! H-HECHEEEEW!!!! HECHEW!!!! HECHEW!!!! HECHEW!!!! Hi....HET'ZZZZZZZUUUUU!!!!" Once the fit finally ended the bedroom lights flickered, and Vox was out of breath, his nose running like a faucet as he sniffled.

"Ugh....fuck that was gross...", Vox groaned as Val laughed a bit, grabbing some more tissues and passing them along. "Sorry, figured you'd want that pesky itch out."

Rolling his eyes Vox took the tissues gratefully, blowing heavily into them and snatching the box to repeat the process a couple times before finally finishing. "Ugh...where's that medicine i gave you this morning?" He asks through his raspy voice, laying down and cuddling close to his husband.

"Ah, I think it's over here", reaching over he hands it to Vox, the tv demon immediately taking two ofnthe pills and plopping back down. "I'm ready to fucking sleep...."

Val chuckles and nods as he lays down and holds the poor tv demon close. "Goodnight Voxie~ Dont worry, I'm sure you'll feel bet...better....fuck" He sniffles and rubs his nose.

Vox raises an eyebrow. "Val you...you good?" He starts to ask, feeling his own nose itch again as both demons are now left hitching for a moment till finally-

"HECK'SHUUUUU!!!", sniffling softly among themselves they blink at the realization of their shared sneeze before chuckling and closing their eyes, falling asleep with their love and sickness.

[glitterrosesnzz]

oh my god wait though a sneezing while hiding scenario with L/ucifer would be so fucking good??

for one, i hc that he is absolutely horrible at holding back. so unless he gets help on that front he'd have to resort to stifling, which he's so-so at, and-

well. his powers acting up (fireworks, fire in general, wings-) would be highly inconvenient, especially if he's in an enclosed space, doubly so if he's hiding with someone else.

[snzficsaturn]

Do you have any Al/as/tor snz head cannons?

They’re not too far off of ones already cycling through the fandom, but

-despises snzing as a whole, sees it as ‘for the weak’.

-stifles are a buzzing, static sound; “Het-zzzt!”

-one thing I’ve been thinking is that he’s photic. Deer in the headlights LOL

-No way he’d ever allow anyone to see him even slightly ill. He’d vanish at the drop of a hat- or first sign of a sniffle.

-most unhygienic germaphobe award.

[maladyinpink]

🔊 CARE-SNAKE-ING: Feelin' Crook 🍒🐍Haz/bin Ho/tel Wav

ALL PROJECTS WILL ALWAYS BE STRICTLY AI FREE

WAP BAM BOOM Alacazam! Here it is folks, the second haz wav project in the series! Wav is dedicated on 🍀 St. Patrick's Day to my Irish buddy and fellow Cherri/Snake enthusiast @very-freakin-effable! Wav would not have been completed without your support... and thanks to Effy and @themiseryandcompany for beta reading the script. I really appreciate it, dolcezze 😌💗💗💗

CARE-SNAKE-ING: Feelin' Crook: Our chaotic couple have their version of date night in the doomsday district, battling a gang of thugs that have hijacked a shipment of beelzejuice heading to the hotel! However, Pen/tious quickly discovers his lady isn't feeling quite up to snuff. But getting Cherr/i to slow down and admit that she's sick is a battle of it's own.

CW: A SLEW of wacky voices (cough drops were NEEDED on this one folks.), Slow burn...sneezes come a bit later, good things come to those who wait. Badass BG music, fast paced action/combat audio, Sounds of Gunfire, explosives and other fututistic weaponry, explicit dialogue, sounds of illness, loud rough female cold sneezing, mention of drug use, coughing, denial, emotional comfort and tender soft CARE-SNAKE-ING.

Script is below, enjoy!

~ Baci Baci, Pink

🍒🐍 CARE - SNAKE - ING - SCRIPT

(Scene 1 - We close in on a dark seedy area of the Pentagram’s Doomsday District, a small group of THUGS has taken one of the shipments of alcohol heading to the nearby Hazbin Hotel. A hellhound, THUG #1, the leader, in amongst the group of shifty lowlives is talking into a phone, going over the details of the stolen shipment.)

THUG #1: (chuckles) Yeah…Me an' the guys have secured the area an' the goods. Hijacked that truck heading to that crummy hotel on the edge of the ring, shipment of Beelzejuice straight in from Gluttony…We were just leaving…

(He laughs and gestures at the truck)

THUG #1: Hey! Who wants a cold one?-

(The THUGS however are not alone and aren’t getting away with the spoils that easily. A hissing posh accent sharply draws the attention of the group. A slithering figure approaches out of the shadows, wielding a ray gun that powers up, ready to take a shot.)  

SIR PENTIOUS: Not so fast, you Pigeon-livered jolluck!...If I’m not mistaken you’ve got something that doesn't belong to you and I'm not above brute force…Hand over the libations and nobody gets hurt!

(The hellhound seems to know PEN well enough and approaches.)

THUG #1: Pentious! Been a while, y'slimy bag of farts…Seems someone finally grew balls, but not the brains…

(The THUGS laugh, but PEN stands his ground, unwavering as they taunt like schoolyard bullies.)

THUG #1: We still gotcha outnumbered, dickless! All on your lonesome…

(The band of uglies laugh again, and cock and load their weapons toward the snake. Mostly guns…but seems like one brought a sword to a gunfight. The leader laughs maniacally.)

THUG #1: Where's the girl, Ol’ man?

(Always knowing how to make an entrance, an explosion comes from overhead, signalling the presence of the ballistic belle of chaos…)

CHERRI BOMB: RIGHT HERE, BITCH! And SHE…is on fucking fire today!…Sorry m'late, handsome!

PENTIOUS: (delighted, called upward.) Ah! Not at all, you're right on time, darling!

CHERRI: (cheerily) Look out below!

(She slides down a gutter pipe on the side of the building to reach their level, PEN takes her hand as she lands to check in and make sure she is alright. CHERRI thanks her partner, then turns to enact her first verbal blows, getting up close and personal to the hellhound. The much shorter woman is not intimidated in the slightest, pointing directly at the leader's chest.)

CHERRI: (overzealous) Who’re calling dickless, dickless? Listen, NO ONE…talks about my man like that…except for me, especially what’s going on downunder. If you ask me, you're just jealous cause he got two bananas in his bunch.

PENTIOUS: (blushing, embarrassed) Oh, Cherri!

CHERRI: Y'know…Two can play your game, where's your mate at? Dingo lookin' fucker, right? Late, full as a goog? As per usual, after he left y'sorry ass?

(THUG #1's face drops and he whines as CHERRI seems to have hit a sore spot)

THUG #1: (growls) Hey bitch, fuck off! He's sober…Most of the time…We've been…going to counseling. 

CHERRI: (mocks) Aww, see I missed the part where I gave a shit, fuckhead.

(PEN is now genuinely offended, this was low hanging fruit. Of the couple, he is the more emotionally conscious, but she's been improving.)

PENTIOUS: Tch, I say, Miss Bomb! Manners!

(A little annoyed, CHERRI stops herself and hesitantly tries to be more sympathetic.)

CHERRI: Ugh, fine!...Ahem…Sorry to hear that, bruv…You know what?...Don't suppose you lot…want a head start?...'fore we do this shit?

(The THUGS start running without hesitation, PENTIOUS turns to CHERRI with a tender smile.)

PENTIOUS: See, that was very nice, darling, you can be very kind sometimes…

CHERRI: Yeah, poor guy deserved a break, I guess…(sniffs, barely a beat)...Anyway, now?

PENTIOUS: Absolutely! I'd love nothing more, shall we gut this scoundrel?

CHERRI: Fuck yeah!…Let's…Oh no…hold on-...hh….hEHt'TSCHT'HIEW!...(sighs)

PENTIOUS: (concerned) Oh goodness! Bless you!...Are you quite alright?

CHERRI: (laughs) Uh-huh, relax, m'fine…Let's go catch these suckers…Ready?

(PEN powers up his ray gun and tests a shot out to the side, he pulls CHERRI in for a tender snog, that she lovingly returns. She giggles.)

PENTIOUS: (laughs slyly) I love when we play dirty…

CHERRI: (tender whisper) Me too.

(She lights the fuse and throws the first bomb, signalling the official start of the action, of what is a typical date night for the couple. CHERRI's musical laugh carries as they get a move on to catch up with the THUGS and the music drops as the fight begins. CHERRI jumps through the air and whoops out a yell. PEN takes aim and shoots at one of the gang from a distance, landing a hit. ) 

PENTIOUS: TAKE THAT!

CHERRI: (triumphant, proud) Nice one, babe!

(She almost loses her footing, but throws another bomb and it goes off, landing another hit and taking down two more targets. PEN blasts out several shots.)

PENTIOUS: Taste my fury, you barmy hooligan!

CHERRI: Eat shit, y'miserable cuntlickers!

(PEN laughs, but then hears his partner…coughing. He shoots and calls over his shoulder to CHERRI as they keep moving.)

PENTIOUS: I rather don't like the sound of that cough, dearest!

CHERRI: (calls back) M'fine!…It's just the smoke babe!…

(PEN'S gun jams, and signals a reload.)

PENTIOUS: (sarcastic) Right and I’m Queen Victoria-...Oh! Dearest, aim, 3 o'clock!

(CHERRI gasps and throws a bomb, but misfires, covering them in rubble, dust and smoke.)

THUG #1: (laughs to his men) Think we lost 'em.

(This is a fake out, as the couple emerges from the dust and smoke.)

CHERRI: Think again, champ. Now give us the goods. Under the order of Lucifer Fucking Morningstar.

(PEN's gun reloads.)

PENTIOUS: Honestly…You pussy willows make this far too easy.

THUG#1: Fine, Alright!...I surrender, I- huh?

(A gun cocks and loads. Seemingly CHERRI was wrong about the 'Dingo lookin' fucker'...A coyote sinner with a thick southern drawl signals his presence. THUG #1's boyfriend, THUG #2. There's a gun in his paw and he's brought a handful of more THUGS with him.)

THUG #2: Step away from my man, y'candy asses. He ain't gonna surrender if I have anything to say about it.

THUG #1: (love-struck, he whimpers) Barry! Oh Sweetie you came! And…you brought my favorite gun…Awww, you shouldn't have!

THUG #2: (sweetly) Of course, Peanut…Wouldn't miss it for the world…

(He pecks his lover's cheek with a quick 'Mwah' and gets back to the matter at hand, giving the gun to his partner who points it at the other couple.)

THUG #2: Now let's skin this bitch alive!

(CHERRI nervously laughs and grimaces.)

CHERRI: Oh great, they made up, congratulations!...Run, babe!

(CHERRI runs…leaving PEN with…everyone else.)

PENTIOUS: (panicked, then sheepish) W-Wait, darling!...I don’t suppose we could work something out, friends…

(NOPE. All of the THUGS cock their weapons. And PEN's ray gun…jams...again.)

PENTIOUS: Oh shit…

(From a distance, the gunfire and yelling echoes through the district. The thugs chase after PEN.)

🍒🐍

(Scene 2 - PENTIOUS has managed to slither away momentarily from the THUGS, but is…missing his partner. He pants to catch his breath, slithers and crawls quietly around the streets and alleys. His gun is at the ready and scanning for any danger.)

PENTIOUS : (Whispers) Cherri?...Cherri, dear, where are you?

(He hears a few poorly muffled sneezes in the nearby alleyway. And sees his partner sitting on a box in the shadows, her head in her cupped hands, her eye shut in pain. He quickly slithers over to her. She coughs and looks up, exhausted. She's coming down fast….but is in denial.)

CHERRI: Sorry Pen…Y-y'ready to get back up there?-

PENTIOUS: (softly gasps and sits next to her) No no-…Cherri-...Cherri..Perhaps, we might need to put a pin in this?...You don’t look well at all!

CHERRI: (looks up and tries to reassure, in denial) No!...No- no!...There's no time to veg out on a bullshit sickie!…We gotta get up there an'- hh..hih!-...

(She poorly muffles a loud sneeze in her elbow and it echoes in the alley.)

CHERRI: AAt'TSCHT'SCHIEW!-...(growls, frustrated, but her protests are weak) Fuck! m'really alright!

PENTIOUS: (uncharacteristically firm, not like this often)...Miss Bomb, t-that's quite enough, I insist…You must rest…at least take some momentary respite…And if I may, just… let me feel your lymph nodes.

(CHERRI exhaustedly shakes her head, sputters, and tries to bat away his hands, repeating 'No' but is preoccupied as she hitches and feels another few grating sneezes coming, these ones she barely directs into her shoulder, down at the ground.)

CHERRI: (desperate) No no nooo-…heheeh!-.. ECKH'HEW!...aat'RRTSH'SHEWww-…Oh no.

(PEN reaches a gentle claw to each side of her throat to check her glands.)

PENTIOUS: (sadly) Oh…Bless,…Yes, as I thought. Swollen.

(CHERRI swears and pulls away 'Fuck! Gkkk-', sputters and gags a little, coughing.)

CHERRI: (not listening, she coughs out-) …Uh-uh…Pen, we've gotta get back up there!

PENTIOUS: (floored) Are you mad, woman? You're ill!

CHERRI: But, t-the booze?!...They're gettin' away!

PENTIOUS: And your health is more important! The princess would agree...

CHERRI: No!...I-I can handle this…I…just- gotta-...

(She starts to rustle through her bag of explosives and her pockets for something. They CAN'T LOSE this, she hates to lose.)

PENTIOUS: (declarative) No!...No no!...I am calling a ceasefire!

(In an instant, it's clear CHERRI has found something as she starts to run down the alleyway.)

PENTIOUS: Wait! No!...Cherri? Where are you going?!

(This falls on deaf ears as CHERRI coughs, out of breath as she looks around and fiddles with explosives and runs down the alleyway, PEN calls after her. She lights a fuse and throws it up to the building above. It explodes and a scream sounds.)

CHERRI: (triumphant) Yes!

(She starts to cough uncontrollably and has to slow down, until she completely stops, heaving and wheezing.)

PENTIOUS: (frustrated, worried, a bit mom-ish, catches his breath) That's it, Missy!...I'm counting!...One!…Two!…Three…Uh, Four? Whew...Oh god…Damn it, Cherri! I'm putting my foot down!

CHERRI: (out of breath)...You don't have feet, moron…

PENTIOUS: (deadpans) …Right.

CHERRI: (hitches fitfully) Oh no-...huh!-...HUH'ECKH'HEWw! HUH'EHR'ECK'HEWw! PTSCHT'SCHeew!..heht-...HEH'pTCHEW!- Oh, fuck, that hurts…hah?...HEH'ITSCH'IEEWww!

PENTIOUS: (startled) Oh! Good heavens! Bless you! BLESS you!...BLESS, my love…(then sympathetic) Oh, my dear…

(PEN blesses and coos lovingly as CHERRI struggles through the fit. Unfortunately the loud fit signals the thugs to their hiding spot.)

THUG #1: There they are, get 'em!

(The THUGS charge forward, battle crying in a cacophony.)

PENTIOUS: HOLD IT!

(The THUGS suddenly freeze. CHERRI sneezes a loud 'HACK'IEWww!')

PENTIOUS: (matter of fact) Bless you...Party's over lads…We're going home, booze is yours.

(Bunch of disappointed ad-libs from the group of THUGS…Despite the fact that…they won. They love a good fight, it seems.)

THUG#1: I never get to use my favorite gun.

THUG #2: I know baby…

PENTIOUS: (genuinely sorry)…Sorry everyone! The lady isn't feeling well! Same time next week though? I promise to bring biscuits! (he pauses and turns)...Cherri, my love?

CHERRI: One sec…(CHERRI coughs uncontrollably.) 

PENTIOUS: (winces) Oh, let’s go home…You must feel awful. 

CHERRI: (stuffy, hesitantly admitting) Gah…Woke up, feelin’ a bit crook, is all…May've tried to-...I tried to take a line before I got here…

PENTIOUS: (suddenly very worried) …Oh, Cherri…

CHERRI: …Thought it’d get me through today…

PENTIOUS: …Cherri, I thought you were clean?-

CHERRI: (unexpectedly emotional, snaps) Well I didn’t get far now did I?...Nose is too fuckin’ bunged up to…hehhh…

(PEN is a bit wounded at the outburst, but sets it aside to support CHERRI as she launches inti a huge, harsh and desperate sneezing fit, bending the poor girl in half, holding a wall for support. PEN realizes quickly that she can't stop and is a bit speechless.)

CHERRI: …HhEH'ItSH'HEWw! Hh'khECHK'SCHEww! Hhh!- HaeH'ECKHH'SCHEW!  HAH'ETSH'HWw- hold on- HEH'ESH'Hihhh…Ihh-It won’t s-stop!- (the sneezing is getting breathless)...Ihhh…Tsc'hhiew! TSCH'Hiew!...AaPPtCH'tscheww….hhh…HAATCH'CHewww…Hhh!-....HEH'EICKh'HIEEWw!...

PENTIOUS: (a bit unable to keep up) Bless you! ...Bless you, B-Bless you! Cherri! Bless you, my love!

(As she finishes, he suddenly remembers and reaches into his suit pocket for his monogrammed handkerchief and offers.)

PENTIOUS: Here, my dear,  blow…My word! That sounds like it's hurting you, chuffing like a chimney, poor thing…

(CHERRI turns away and blows.)

CHERRI: Thanks…(sniffs, sullen) …M'so sorry, Pen…

PENTIOUS: (melts) …If anything, thank you for telling me…I just care and worry for you, and while I trust you, it’s my duty as your confidant…your boyfriend (the word is a bit foreign to him) to take care of you at your lowest. I- I simply don’t want you to suffer, I can't bear to see you so…miserable.

CHERRI: (exhausted) …Sweetheart?

PENTIOUS: (patient, sweet) Yes?

CHERRI: (quiet)…Feels like my head's gonna blow.

PENTIOUS: (sympathetically coos) I'm sure…We'll set you right, come along, let's get you to bed…

🍒🐍

(Scene 3 - We are back at the hotel, in a suite that the couple share together. CHERRI’s hair is out of her signature ponytail and sitting cross legged in bed in her pajamas with a thermometer in her mouth and a pillow held in her lap. As it beeps, PEN takes the device and reads.)

PENTIOUS: Ooh, 102! Oh dear…Well, you did say you were 'On fire' today.

CHERRI: ...ARRh'RSHHT'SHEW!

PENTIOUS: (a little startled) Bless you! My, you’ve quite a wicked sneeze, you know!

(He laughs, albeit a bit awkwardly and sees her dejected face, she puts down the pillow, pulls up the blanket and turns over.)

PENTIOUS: (he clears his throat and tests the waters)...I know today wasn’t what you hoped for…but I hope you know, I’m quite proud of you… 

CHERRI: (glum, she turns and looks up at the ceiling) What for?...The moment things got hard, I reached for what was easy. I didn’t listen to you…I fucking-... I failed…I’m sorry.

PENTIOUS: (starts) Well yes- yes, you failed…

CHERRI: (looks at him)…Gee, thanks, babe.

PENTIOUS: (a bit exasperated) Cherri- that's not what I-…(he smiles, proud, with conviction and love) You're persevering! Take it from an old man who’s faced defeat on numerous occasions to note. You’ve got determination, unlike anything I’ve seen from anyone else…You'll make short work of this nasty chill and rise again in no time to try again! I know how much you hate admitting when you're not at your best, but you are doing it. And that takes strength…Real strength, my dear…Now I think some lavender tea should help that throat of yours, I’ll put a kettle on.

CHERRI: (she smiles too, grateful, but winded) Thank you, Pen…You know, y'not bad at this sick day thing…Taking care of my sorry ass.

(His eyebrow cocks, and he saddles up beside her in their bed.)

PENTIOUS: Oho? Well what kind of partner would I be otherwise?…When she does need of me, I will always care for my…brave…

(He nuzzles and smooches her temple.)

CHERRI: …Mm!

PENTIOUS: ...Bodacious… (smooches her cheek.)

CHERRI: (giggles) S’that right?

PENTIOUS: (contemplates) Mm-hmm...Often- Bullheaded…(nuzzles and smooches her freckled shoulder.)

CHERRI: (agrees) Hm…Fair…

PENTIOUS Hm…brilliantly (smooches her neck knowing it'll tickle her) bright…(leans over and smooches right under her eye, on her nose)...beauty.

(CHERRI musical giggles grow sleepy…She hitches and lets out a tired tickly 'HEP'PSTCH'hiew!')

PENTIOUS: (he chuckles) Bless you. 

(CHERRI blows her nose in a clean handkerchief.)

CHERRI: (sniffles thickly) I do need you…Yeh?...I don't tell y'enough…but I love ya.

PENTIOUS: (lovingly agrees, insistant) And I you, dear…Now, I must insist that YOU get some rest. No explosions, no battles...not even a shouting match with the neighbors…Now, I’ll be right back!

(PENTIOUS hums and exits to put the kettle on…CHERRI sighs…and sneezes again…a loud muffled HAH'ECK'HEWww into her hanky. An Egg boi, a little shaken, it seems, approaches the bed.)

FRANK (Egg Boi): …Miss Cherri?…

CHERRI: (dazed) Yeh?

FRANK (Egg Boi): …Are you okay? 

CHERRI: (a bit awkward)…Yeh?

FRANK (Egg Boi): …Your face exploded!

(Unable to respond, she flops back on the bed, exhausted, frustrated.)

CHERRI: …UGH

È Finito, Grazie!

- ♡ Pink