#hazbin adam x male reader
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ambrosiagoldfish · 1 year ago
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I loved your Adam x 3rd spouse piece! I think you really captured his personality! I also just really like you're writing style! You did an qmzyjob and I think you'll continue make amazing pieces like this? Have a wonderful day or night and continue to rest if you can! đŸ„°đŸ„°đŸ„°
Benefit of the doubt Pt.3
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Adam x 3rd Spouse! Reader
Viewer discretion is advised
Warnings: Hurt/Comfort, Angsty, General Adam TW’s, Reader HIGHKEY has a complex about being loved, Reader finally talks about their issues, Lucifer and Lilith scout for new kissing partner but fails miserably/hj, Lilith will probably be OOC in the future (once Season 2 comes), Adam has abandonment issues, Adam is a puppy in private but a bitch in public, And the couch returns once again (why do all the sad things happen on this couch), This is set way before the show, and Gn! Reader! (Annnnnd We popped the Y/n cherry! It’s used only once tho)
Part 1 Part 2 Part 4
Request box: Open
Word count: 3664
A/N: Hi!!! Thanks so much! I’m using your request as the ask for part 3 so I hope that’s ok! You all were so nice with all the love for part 1 and 2 đŸ˜­đŸ˜­đŸ«¶đŸ«¶ this part is also pretty long but I just couldn’t stop writing it. I wanted to do 1 more part set in the past before we jump to the angst that is the show. So I guess you could call this the penultimate part! A lot of people wanted to see Lucifer hit on Reader and try to do what he did with Lilith and Eve but with Reader. And I had quite a hard time coming up with a reason that could occur in the past but I think I figured it out.
Since Luci and Lilith would still be together at this time I’ve decided to add Lilith in as well for POLY GOALS. Also they may seem malicious but I genuinely don’t think they are (they just find Reader hot LBH) 😭😭 Also I added a few more people to the tag list!
Tags: @tired-of-life-86 @nervoussystemss @qopia @lovelyemily
It’s been a while since Adam first moved into your newly shared home. You weren’t sure exactly how long, it was hard to keep track of time in heaven. Days seemed to blur together. It made sense to you at least, it is heaven after.
After Adam moved in, your life was filled with so many new things to experience with him, and the same was true for him. While he may seem a bit brutish, (and at times he can be) he loved the new things you showed him, the new feelings you showed him.
You were so kind, so thoughtful and so, so patient with him. You never forced him to do something he didn’t want to do but you would still push him to explore new things, even managing to convince him to be a part of heaven's official duties. That’s why, at times like these, you knew exactly what to do.
The sound of Adam slamming the front door as he entered the house made you jump. Even from a few feet away, you could hear him mumbling curses about something as he plopped himself down on the couch. You followed quickly behind, gently laying next to him
“Hey, what’s wrong?” You try to keep your voice light and soothing. Looking at him it was obvious that something was bothering him. The gold feathers of his wings were unkempt from them flaring up, his halo was slightly crooked and his LED mask showed an almost snarled expression.
Your hand slowly caressed his wings, moving the out of place feathers back to normal. But no matter how hard you tried they would stick back out.
“It’s nothing, just some lame shitty meeting I have to go to tomorrow” he crosses his arms and looks away from you.
“Hmm? Something tells me there’s more to it than that, right?” You snuggle into his belly, rubbing it softly .
His mask pouts “Dammit’ bitch, how do you always see through me, huh?” He sighs defeatedly before continuing “You know how more people are starting to kick the bucket or whatever? Well, heaven’s worried about the surplus of sinners so they're having the aforementioned shitty meeting to come to a solution and
”
He pauses
“And?” You look at him anticipatingly
“And
 He’ll be there.” Oh
 So that's why he’s upset. “They’re having the meeting in their brand new “heaven embassy” down in hell.” His voice mocks
“Oh, I’m so sorry Adam, Have you tried asking Sera if you can sit this one out?”
Adam groans, putting his face in his hands “Yeah like forty fucking times but she keeps saying that it’s my “heavenly duty” and she won’t let me.”
You bring your arms around Adam’s neck pulling him in towards you. You weren’t sure what to do if you were being honest. There’s nothing you can do really, if even Sera won’t let him miss it. Hmm

“Adam, I know it’s gonna suck but if you can’t get out of it, then that’s that.” Adam looks at you a little confused “but I can go with you, I’m sure Sera wouldn’t mind an extra pair of hands in the discussion.”
“What! Hell no!” He shouted as he sat up from the couch, shaking his head defiantly.
You look at him confused, “Why?”
“That’ll only make the whole thing fucking worse! If it’s just me, I don’t have to worry that he’ll get anywhere near you!” Adam’s mask turns into a slight grimace as he attempts to keep his eyes off you.
You make your way to him, the sound of your footsteps falling off as you stop in front of him. You grab his hand as the other one moves up to his face, cupping it.
“Adam
” you rubbed circles on his hand as you continued “We’re partners. You haven’t forgotten my promise right?” You play with the golden ring on his finger.
Adam groans “No, I haven’t
 sigh Shit- Fine! But
 just stay by me, alright?” Your face lights up before your arms wrap around his shoulders joining you both in an embrace
“Of course,” you rub his wings gently before you grasp his hands in yours, leading him by them. “Come on, you must be tired right? It’s getting late. Couch or bed?”
“Couch. I’m way not in the mood to make a bed right now.” You laugh at his comment as you pull him to lay on the couch with you. His soft, warm body pushes up against you as you both slowly drift off to sleep for the day ahead.
-
A not-too familiar sight laid before you, the pearly gates of heaven, guarded by the one and only Saint Peter. There was no real reason for you to ever come here. You never had the chance to die, which is when most, if not all Winners see it for the first time. No one’s allowed to leave heaven unless given permission by a higher up and on top of all that, you weren’t really that enticed to leave the oh-so perfect afterlife, so there had never been a reason to see these golden gates.
But now, here you were standing behind them with some other angels. You didn’t know most of them, the only ones you recognized were Sera and Adam. As expected, it was pretty easy to convince Sera to let Adam take you along. They even prepared an extra wide seat for both of you to share. How generous!
Ever since you woke up this morning, Adam had been
 Nervous? Scared? The right word doesn’t really matter but he’s been sweating buckets and was clearly more agitated than normal. His feathers were once again unkempt and you tried your best to keep them in order but he always seemed to get them messy.
Eventually, right on schedule, a flaming portal opened in front of the group. Sera was the first to enter, then followed by the others. Finally it was just you and Adam but as you take a step towards the portal, Adam stops you
“What is it?” You look up at him.
“Just
 stay by me, ok?” Adam’s voiced was softer than normal, a way he only did when you two were alone
Nodding your head with a smile, your hand comes down and interlocks his. One of his bright golden wings veils itself around you, bringing you closer to him. You snuggle into him slightly before you both step into the portal.
You didn’t know what to expect when you stepped through the portal but a sight that was almost like home awaited you. The familiar gold that heaven was so fond of was everywhere in the building, accents of white and orange were also present. All and all, it was a familiar sight in a not-so familiar place.
But there was definitely something that wasn’t familiar in that place. Sitting in a chair at the end of the room was him, Lucifer Morningstar. The aura he had definitely made him seem angelic but there was clearly something about him that separated himself from divinity. Though you do have to admit that he was much shorter than you anticipated.
There was something that surprised you however, to his left sat a tall woman with long blond hair and horns. It took you a second to put 2&2 together but when you heard Adam mutter “Shit
” you knew immediately it was Lilith. And from Adam’s reaction even he wasn’t expecting her to be there.
You squeeze his hand gently as comfort, giving him a smile before you both walk to your seat. Your body is pushed closer to him as his wing wraps tighter around you. Looks like there’s no calming him down.
Finally the meeting starts, Sera begins by explaining the issue of the fast growing population in hell, leading to groups trying to form uprisings against heaven. To be honest you didn’t really understand it too well, just a lot of business-y sounding words that weren't really your forte. So you just stayed quiet.
From what you could tell, the meeting was going
 well? They haven’t been able to agree on a proper decision even with Sera leading the conversation. Adam though, was being eerily quiet. You don't even think he’s said a word since you both got there. Sera seemed to notice this.
“Adam, want to share any ideas?” Sera spoke in an encouraging tone slightly gesturing to him. This seemed to catch Lucifer and Lilith’s attention. Maybe they didn’t recognize Adam because of the mask?
Adam was caught off guard but still talked “Oh uh
 Man, I don’t know, can’t we just fucking kill them?” Both you and Sera looked over in surprise, “What? That would solve the problem wouldn't it? “ He shrugged
Sera sighed “Ok, how about we take a short recess to clear our minds to let in new ideas. We’ll resume the meeting in 30 minutes”
With that, everyone went their separate ways for the time being, you and Adam were the first to leave the board room, he practically was pulling you along and you could tell he wanted out of there. You both ended up in the lobby, neither of you saying a word.
The silence was so very loud. The only sound was yours and Adam’s breathing. Adam’s hand was still firmly tied to yours, not even the slightest hint of letting go. You rubbed your thumb in circles over his hand when a voice echoed through the air
“Adam, may I have a word?” Sera’s voice echoed lightly through the lobby. She gestured to a door next to her. You both made your way over to her and was about to go in when Sera put her hand in front of Adam stopping him
“What the hell Sera?!”
“Alone, please.”
Adam’s LED eyes widened his mouth slightly agape. He looked down with a scowl before turning his face to you. Your free hand going up to his mask, caressing it.
“Go talk with Sera,”
“But-“
“Shh, I’ll be fine,” You give him a kiss on the cheek, the cold of the metallic mask reaching your lips, “I’ll just be in the lobby, I won’t go anywhere till you get back. Ok?” Adam didn’t look at you, clearly avoiding eye contact, you grab his chin lightly and gently turn him to look at you,
“Ok?”
Adam’s mouth formed a frown and he groaned “Fuck- fine, ok
” You gave him a smile as Sera walked into the room, you felt his grip loosen and loosen, until finally his soft hand left yours as he walked into the room. He gave one final look back before closing the room's door.
Silence filled the air once again. It wasn’t like it was with Adam, that comfortable silence that you shared ever so often. This one laid in the air, thick and heavy, threatening to suffocate you at any given moment. You sat on one of the many yellow and white sofas in the lobby.
You tried your best to ignore it. Paying attention to less important details about the scenery around you. The weird zigzagging pattern of the carpet of the floor, the intricate designs on the doors, the huge windows. Heaven sure had a unique taste in interior design.
You tried so hard to ignore the silence that you eventually ignored the sound that broke said silence. Footsteps began echoing through the lobby approaching you. You didn’t realize someone was next to you until you heard a voice say.
“Ahem Hello!” A male voice startled you as it chimed in with a sickening sweet tone. You look towards the direction of the voice only to be greeted by the king of hell himself, Lucifer. You jumped back to the other side of the sofa in shock.
“Oh sorry, I didn’t mean to scare ya.” He chuckled softly, rubbing the back of his neck. “I’m Lucifer, But judging on your reaction, I guess you already knew that. I’ve never seen you before so you must be relatively new, right?”
You nodded your head sheepishly to answer his question. You honestly didn’t know what else to do, what could you do? You slowly picked yourself up from the sofa.
“I’m sorry but I have to go-“ you turn to leave only to bump into a tall woman. You must have been so surprised by Lucifer that you completely missed Lilith coming up behind you.
“But we haven’t even learned your name yet, Dear.” The woman’s voice sounded both somber but also welcoming, it was quite frightening how much it could calm your nerves if you kept listening to it. “How about we talk? No harm in it, right?”
“That’s a wonderful idea, Darling!” Lucifer came up from behind you, a sharp smile on his face. “Come on, sit and chat!”
Crap
 they had you cornered. You had no telling what they’d do if you set them off, you wanted the meeting to go as smoothly as possible, for Adam. A few minutes to indulge them. that’s it.
You bit your lip but sighed “Ok
 but just a few minutes”
“Great!” Lilith took your shoulders moving you to sit down beside her as Lucifer sat on the other side, sandwiching you between them. “So, I’ll ask again, what’s your name?”
You hesitated for a moment but decided it was better to get the conversation over with as quickly as possible.
“Y/n”
“That’s a very beautiful name,” Lucifer spoke, his tone trying to make him sound almost charming, almost. “So, if you don’t mind us asking, who are you to
 Adam?” He gestured over to the door Sera and Adam went through earlier.
“I’m his spouse.” This time you answered with complete confidence, not even a shred of hesitation in your voice.
“Ah!” Lucifer nodded his head in understanding. “How’s that going?”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, I for one know how much of a hassle that man-child is,” Lilith laughs, covering her mouth slightly “I asked around, is it true he hasn’t taken that ridiculous mask off since he got it, hmm? Has he even shown you his real face yet?”
“No but-“
“He can be so
 tiresome at times, don’t you agree?”
“No. I don’t. Adam is the best thing to ever happen to me-“
“Exactly.” Lucifer interrupted you as your eyes furrowed “You don’t have anything else to compare it to. Of course you’d see trash like the “first man” as the best thing ever.”
Trash. That word really set you off, at least it would have, if it wasn’t for the next sentence .
“But hey! It’s fine! Eve was the same way! You too are honestly very alike, let me tell you-“
Thousands upon thousands of thin threads binding you up. That’s what this conversation felt like. Each annoyance was just a new thread getting tighter and tighter as they were pulled taut, threatening to simply slice through your body, your soul. But they didn’t, instead they kept stretching past their limits until finally those words came.
Like
 Eve. It felt like each of those tightly pulled threads were all cut at once with those words. Any and all tension suddenly seemed to disappear. A strange sensation of losing any care about your situation.
You know what? To hell with the meeting! You quickly stood up from the sofa causing them both to jump slightly. You turned toward them, your voice was louder than you thought was possible for you. You weren’t sure what had gotten into you but you felt so
 Angry.
“I am nothing like Eve. And I’m especially nothing like either of you.” You had enough, it was untelling what would happen if you stayed. You started walking toward the room Adam was in when Lucifer grabbed your arm
“Wait! That’s not what I meant-“
“Don’t touch me, snake” you stared daggers at him before quickly grabbing his hand and shoving it off.
“We’re sorry if we upset you Dear, but that’s no way to talk to someone” Lilith walks up to you, putting an arm in front of Lucifer in a protective stance.
You walk up to the tall woman, she was at least two heads taller than you but still, you barred your teeth before speaking “Oh! You really think I care about what the first whore thinks of me, Huh?” Your voice dripped with poison from every word.
Even Lilith seemed caught off guard by your sudden change in demeanor as her face turned into a scowl. Red horns protruded through Lucifer’s head, his eyes turning red with anger. You turn your attention back to him.
“What are you gonna do?” Lucifer’s gaze slightly softened with hesitation “Exactly, nothing. Less’ you want to dig yourself deeper into this cyst pool you’ve created for yourself and end up on even worse terms with heaven.”
Without even sparing them a glance, you try to make it to the room, only to be greeted by Adam and Sera standing by the door. How long were they standing there? You must have not heard them over your screaming..
“What the fuck are you assholes doing to them? ” You rush over and grab him by the hand, the action startling him “Babe, what happened-“
“Nothing. Sera. Open a portal back home.”
“But-“
“Sera!” Your voice was gritty and rough “open a portal. Now... Please
” your voice cracked at the end
Sera had never seen you show so much anger before, but here you were, your entire gaze filled with nothing but pure unadulterated wrath.Threatening to burn anyone who got in your way. Whatever happened clearly set you off like nothing else before.
Sera nods her head “Understood”
“Thank you
”
A familiar flaming portal opened up, you quickly made your way through it with Adam following suit. The portal ended up right inside your home, closing as you both were fully through. You honestly didn’t know where you were going but eventually your body couldn’t go any further than the couch
Feeling the soft couch beneath you made your aching muscles feel like they were melting away, and only then did you realize that you were crying.
Adam crawled next to you, hugging close to you. “What the happened out there, Babe?”
You felt your body slowly break down, as more tears left you then you had cried your entire existence. Adam hugged you tighter, his wings coming over you like a blanket.
“H-How much did you see?” Your voice was shaky as you sniffed slightly.
“Not a lot, just some shit towards the end,what did those bastards say to you?”
You cleared your throat slightly. “I only talked to them because I didn’t want them to get upset and ruin the meeting and make your day even worse than it already was”
Adam’s LED mask shifted into a small sad frown “Sweetheart, you never have to talk to any motherfuckers you don’t want to, let alone for me. “
You smile but look away “it wasn’t
 it wasn’t
” you tried to get the words out but couldn’t. You took a deep breath before trying one more time,”It wasn’t the only thing that set me off.” Adam looks at you curious
“They said that I reminded them of
 Eve, and it just made me so
 angry. I was created for you, to love you-“ your tears start swelling back up as you spoke “I want to be so much better than Eve, than Lilith for you. And then she pointed out how I’ve never seen Your face, which I’ve always been fine with, but at that moment, I started to think ‘what if they’re right?’ What if the reason you don’t want me to see you is because I also remind you of Eve”
You choked back tears “So to be compared to her when I’ve tried so hard
 if I’m not better than her for you, then what is even the point of me! I was created to make you happy, if I can’t do that better than someone who hurt you so bad then I’m just useless-“
Soft lips met yours, cutting you off. This felt different than what you normally got on the cheek. It was warm compared to the cold metallic feel you’ve felt previously. Your eyes opened slightly looking at Adam’s LED mask
 or what you thought was going to be a mask. He had pulled his mask off while you were crying.
You pulled back from the kiss “Adam your mask!” Adam just kisses back again
“That fucking thing doesn’t matter right now.” He paused “You're not useless and will never be useless to me. Fuck- I love you because I love you! Not because you were created for me or some stupid shit like that! You make me so fucking happy. I’m sorry if I ever made you feel like you were just some object that was made to make me feel better, because you aren’t.”
“Adam
” to think tears could roll down your face this harder than before “I love you so much Adam” you cry into his soft chest.
Adam kisses you again “I love you too Sweetcheeks.” Adam paused before clearing his throat “So umm
 how do I look? I hope I didn't disappoint you
”
You look up at his newly unveiled face, just as you had been told, short brown hair, golden eyes, and a little bit of stubble on his chin. By all accounts, he was completely ordinary. So ordinarily perfect.
“Perfect. So so perfect. What’d I do to end up with such a handsome husband, hmm?”
“Oh stop, now you’re just being fucking cheesy” he laughs, he would never admit it but his eyes were a little watery just from hearing you say that.
“It’s true though” you lean in and wrap your arms around him, killing you both with a deep kiss.
Truly ordinary. You couldn’t be happier
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deadghosy · 1 year ago
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đŸ«§đ“‡Œđ“Č*à©ˆâœ©â€§â‚ŠËšđŸŽ
JELLYFISH! READER X HAZBIN HOTEL
Prompt: A sea creature wants to bring light in hell. ⋆.àłƒàż”*:đŸȘŒâ‹†ïœĄËš
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đ–Šč * đŸȘŒ ₊˚ you died while being an oceanographer. You studied the ocean for its plant and creatures. You drowned specifically while trying to push a jellyfish away from you. And honestly, you went to hell becoming a flowing beautiful jellyfish.
đ–Šč * đŸȘŒ ₊˚Charlie welcomed you with opened arms, she liked how beautiful you are. The way you flow in the air, you were eye catching and majestic
đ–Šč * đŸȘŒ ₊˚jellyfish! reader is a Mitski, grimes, and tv girl fan of music. I think it fits their vibe at how peaceful but dangerous they are with their stingers.
đ–Šč * đŸȘŒ ₊˚imagine how your human form would look. Jellyfish hair cut with the colors of the blue from your og form with some pink and purple. Or like blue and light blue. You would be an actual main attraction to the hotel.
đ–Šč * đŸȘŒ ₊˚you probably did get mistaken to get sent to hell instead of Heaven. You were beautiful like a heaven angel, but you were in the depths of hell. Surprisingly the hotel was a safe haven for you.
đ–Šč * đŸȘŒ ₊˚a beautiful creature like you gain the attention of many to the hotel. You could say that you are the main attraction. And Charlie doesn’t use you like that, but she does make you a resident to get into heaven.
đ–Šč * đŸȘŒ ₊˚vaggie finds you calming. You have this type of aura around you that just makes people relax. So your hotel room is specially designed to your liking. Which is a dark blue wall with a glowing blue that has ocean waves. It’s basically jellyfish’s en ocean designed. It’s just so magical.
đ–Šč * đŸȘŒ ₊˚you love floating around as keekee would follow you around. Then you would have the egg boiz following you plus fat nuggets. You just collected your own little band of little people.
đ–Šč * đŸȘŒ ₊˚husk doesn’t know much about you in the hotel other than you are practically the princess/prince of the water in hotel. You make sure the water is okay as it’s your duty.
đ–Šč * đŸȘŒ ₊˚you once had made water appear. You had guess you have water power based on you drowning. And using that power, you soaked husk who started to go crazy almost scratch angel dust in irritation. ïżŒ
đ–Šč * đŸȘŒ ₊˚Lucifer admires your colorful being. Like he may seem as if he doesn’t care about you. But he sorta does as he secretly makes you a jellyfish toy that lights up in the dark.
đ–Šč * đŸȘŒ ₊˚alastor, he might as well try to see what you are. He still senses a human soul in which makes him want to get your soul. A human souls is rare than a disgusting sinner’s soul. But you sting him every time he tries to even get close.
đ–Šč * đŸȘŒ ₊˚you once accidentally stung Alastor with your stingers. He oddly didn’t lash out at you, but rather just walked away. He was trying to hold on the stinging pain you gave him.
đ–Šč * đŸȘŒ ₊˚sir Pentious found you alluring even. Frank and the rest of the egg boiz agree. Frank once called you mom/dad since you were singing him a lullaby.
đ–Šč * đŸȘŒ ₊˚imagine how crazy you can be. Like one day you are the calming person every one loves and knows in the hotel. And next thing people know is that you are stinging people just because they breathed the wrong way around you.
đ–Šč * đŸȘŒ ₊˚luckily you are a passive aggressive person sometimes. Or else you would be frying people like bacon. EXTRA CRISY‌
đ–Šč * đŸȘŒ ₊˚angel dust dead ass thinks you should have a cute blue ocean crown or necklace. Maybe even a cute blue with purple star car. Bro he’s thinking of so much ways to make you girly pop.
đ–Šč * đŸȘŒ ₊˚you could’ve had shocked angels, and I mean literally cause if it was the battle between hell and heaven. You would win lmao. Cause what if you shocked then hoes into an angel kebab
đ–Šč * đŸȘŒ ₊˚headcannon on how your stingers is as powerful like the jellyfishes in SpongeBob. You area full electric chair.
đ–Šč * đŸȘŒ ₊˚vox had a whole board about who tf were you. Legit was giving crazy science man vibes cause how tf is a jellyfish in hell?! You don’t even look demon! You dead ass don’t fit the hell palette. As he is making theories, Valentino and Velvette just stare at each other like “wtf is this?”
đ–Šč * đŸȘŒ ₊˚now say you did went to heaven. Everything would probably be different, but you are something no one had seen before. A jelly fish angel? Yeah that seems unique.
đ–Šč * đŸȘŒ ₊˚Heaven would admire your original look. Your calming energy makes most of heaven better. Like say for example the angels complement each other with the light of your energy and how your energy flows. You basically have a pheromone, but it’s for positivity to be spread. #bethereasonsomeonesmiles LMAOïżŒïżŒ
đ–Šč * đŸȘŒ ₊˚Adam probably makes fun of how you are such a small sea thing creature. But then he switches up when you turn into your human form and start to sting his ass every time he tries to offend you. Fly like a butterfly, sting like a bee.
đ–Šč * đŸȘŒ ₊˚sera would possibly have you as a cherub cause of your small jellyfish form. It only makes sense for you to be one as you are so adorable.
đ–Šč * đŸȘŒ ₊˚Emily adores you. She knows you don’t mean any harm towards her with your stingers. She’s the type of person who makes you a flower crown cause she loves it be creative around people she likes. Honestly 10/10 friendship honestly.
đ–Šč * đŸȘŒ ₊˚lute probably doesn’t care about you much. Other than your stingers are damn annoying. She just wants to rip them out, but you are is kind and sweet. So you have her vote to stay in heaven with her.
đ–Šč * đŸȘŒ ₊˚headcannon on you just humming a soft lullaby as you swim in the air, your blue soft glow in the dark makes anyone go to sleep. The blue is pretty alluring.
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A/N: I tried a different writing style with the “bullet points” I hope you guys like this lol and sorry if it seems lazy.✹ inspired by: @selvyyr <3
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reticent-writer · 1 year ago
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Would I be able to ask for [platonic] Adam x reader, with reader being his child. [Bio or adopted]
And if possible some reactions to others finding out the connection?
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âœżâœŒ:*:.ïœĄ..ïœĄ.:****:.ïœĄ..ïœĄ.:*:*:âœŒâœżă€€ă€€
This man can't keep a secret for shit
He talks about the things he likes and even if he tried to keep it a secret he would slip up eventually
but when you came into the picture, you were always around him
it was rumored that you were him and lutes love child
soon the rumor got to Sera who tried to shut it down but it was out of her control
But then she heard that Adam took you to hell for an extermination
"Adam." Sera said sternly.
"Whaaaat, they're fine, See." Adam picked you up like he was presenting you to Sera, "Tell her what you learned, lil bud."
"Sinners are bad and don't deserve redemption." The both of you had a stupidly wide on grin your faces that could only make the Seraphin sigh.
"That's not the point, Adam. They're just a child, they shouldn't have to see that." She was so clearly disappointed as she took you from him and checked over him yourself.
"Papa says that bitches and whores live down there." You say with the widest smile. Sera looks at Adam in disgust.
"What? Am I wrong?"
âœżâœŒ:*:.ïœĄ..ïœĄ.:****:.ïœĄ..ïœĄ.:*:*:âœŒâœżă€€ă€€
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redr0sewrites · 1 year ago
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So bc u requested Adam and/or Lute stuff I'd like to request Adam x male!reader? Like literally anything that comes to your mind, idc if it's sfw or nsfw I just crave it °^° (also if you're not comfy with writing male reader that's totally cool too, in that case just ignore this)
I HAVW NO QUALMS AB WRITING MALE READER NONNIE DW!!!! ♄
đŸ„€Cw: fluff, smut, male!reader, overall adam's usual shenanigans
đŸ„€minors dni with the nsfw portion
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sfw:
you can NOT look me in the eyes and tell me adam does not have some form of internalized homophobia, and the minute he starts catching feelings for you i genuinely think he'd have a mini crisis
because of his major fuckboy personality he has a LOT of experience with flirting with women, but literally no experience with flirting with men
adam is still pretty confident however, and would probably approach you first.
i think he'd have to be friends with you to catch feelings for you in the first place, so he's probably around you pretty often
adam is very subconsciously flirty with you, but in a much more genuine way without his usual bravado. he doesn't even realize how soft he acts around you, but others can tell by the way his eyes always follow you and how he seems to orbit around you, or the way he'll purposefully stand as close as possible when he's talking to you. theres also the fact that he's literally always touching you, whether it be an arm around your shoulders or a hand resting on your back, he just needs to be close to you. you attract him like a moth to a flame, even when he's in a crowded room all adam is focused on is getting your attention. even his casual hookups stop as he literally focuses all his time on winning you over, even he doesn't realize how much he likes you (everyone else can tell. theres a betting pool in heaven on when you both will get together and who will confess first, etc)
adam definitely acts like a BUFFOON around you, deep down he doesn't think someone like you would want to be with him and overcompensates by bragging constantly about all the woman he's liked in a slightly pathetic attempt to flirt with you and literally CONSTANTLY trying to get your attention. think of his usual flaunting attitude and then turn up the dial by 100%. he wants to be on your mind 24/7 the same way your on his mind all the time
meanwhile ur lowkey heartbroken, bc you think adam is straight and yet you can't get rid of your stupid ass crush on his stupid face!!!! it's honestly especially irritating because he'll flirt with you and call you so many petnames and nicknames and will always be touching you, so you think you have a chance, then all of a sudden he's talking about some girl he banged and you just feel a bit led on
its very amusing for lute to watch the both of you dance around eachother and your feelings, when you both so clearly like eachother but are too scared to do anything about it
honestly i think you'd both end up confessing to eachother in the middle of an argument, maybe your pissed at adam for bragging about the "super hot girl he banged last night" (she isn't real and he spent the entire night thinking about you) and he's pissed off that your getting mad at him instead of being impressed or falling in love with him
definitely one of those dramatic "because i LOVE you, okay?!" confessions i am cringe but i am free and adam just kinda stares at you for a hot minute
adam would literally be like "wait... YOU like ME???? i thought you HATED me????? IM the one who likes YOU!" in usual adam fashion, and you would literally be like -_-"YOU LIKED ME THIS WHOLE TIME??? WHY DIDNT U SAY ANYTHING????" his dumbass would literally be like "I WAS TRYING TO??????" and all of this useless dialogue would literally just end in the two of you admitting your true feelings (much to lute's amusement who was recording the entire thing bc she NEEDS to win that bet)
once you both are officially together? prepare for adam to be the clingiest mf alive (in a cute way tho). he waited so long to be with you and literally became solely devoted to you for a WHILE before winning you over and it's probably been a hot minute since he's genuinely dated someone. sure, he's had hookups, but real, soulful relationships aren't common with him.
adam is ridiculously loyal to you, definitely one of those people who will be like "i have a bf 🙄" when someone random texts them, even if that person wasn't even interested in them romantically
LOVESSS flaunting you!! adam will bring you to every event he attends, he loves bragging about you and showing you off to all of heaven
if anyone ever gave you any shit about your relationship adam would literally drop kick them, he's very defensive about your guys' relationship and wants everyone to know that he loves you.
adam doesn't know shit about labels or sexuality so you probably have to teach him some things, i honestly think he'd be pansexual or just queer/unlabeled (i am totallyyy nooot projecting)
nsfw:
adam has been alive a long time and thought he tried everything sex related under the sun, but being with a guy opened a whole new world of possibilities
adam had explored with anal a bit before, but never with a partner. only in the late hours of the night when jerking off just wasn't enough, and he found himself with a strange temptation, his hands creeping lower and lower until he finally began to thrust his fingers in and out of his aching hole, tears welling in his eyes from a mix of humiliation and pure pleasure. yet, when he admitted to having tried fingering himself before, he also admitted something else- he had never managed to make himself cum, and had always gotten too embarrassed to push himself over the edge
he is a switch FIGHT ME. the first time your both intimate, adam absolutely talks so much shit about topping yet starts whining the second he begins fucking your tight cavern. this leads to you taking control and fucking him senseless, and adam is shocked at how much he enjoys it
he takes dick like a champ, he's a bratty sub at first but once you praise or degrade him, he's melting like putty in your hands
adam is sooo loud, he's a shameless moaner and everyone within a mile radius can hear his screams
you have to teach him how to give head, and he is surprisingly a very fast learner. adam lowkey gets off on how humbling it is to be below you, and he's also the type to get off on his partner's pleasure.
adam definitely has some sort of breeding kink, and when he's fucked dumb and so, so needy, he'll beg you to cum inside, whining about fucking a baby into him and babbling pure nonsense
even though it is quite literally impossible for either of you to get pregnant, he loves that kind of dirty talk. adam will pretend to be embarrassed about it but the thought of you breeding him or him breeding you is genuinely such a turn on for him
yall literally never use a condom im sorry 💀
adam would enjoy topping as well, i def think he enjoys fucking you and he loves fucking you senseless with pleasure
the first time he tops adam goes slow, he wants to learn more than anything and becomes incredibly skilled at reaching that sweet spot inside of you
adam is the first man, the original dick, and he definitely knows how to use it. he's such a fast learner when it comes to sex-related things, and memorizes everything about you and your body. he wants to know what makes you tick, and everything that pleases you or turns you on
adam is a pretty big guy and he can easily maneuver you into any position you want, he really likes hitting it from the back and loves fucking you from behind. he'd definitely pull your hair, forcing your head back so he could whisper absolute filth in your ear
i really really enjoyed writing this urgrhrgregregeh i love me some adam- im an afab person but im genderqueer/unlabeled and sometimes feel more masculine or more feminine, snd this was very fun to write bc i usually don't get requests for male reader or more masculine reader so yea i really really enjoyed this!!! also happy easter to anyone else who celebrates lmao i can't believe yall r getting smut from me on easter 💀
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libraryraccoon · 1 year ago
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A Penguin And The Angel Of Death
Gift for : @deadghosy
Gender : Penguin
Pronouns : They/Them
Message of Raccoon : I just really wanted to write Azrael with Penguin!Reader, so I try.
TW : bad english, english isn't my first language.
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How you met Azrael is a mystery for everyone.
Azrael had heard about Heaven and Hell fighting over a penguin, and he decided to go check it out.
"So you're the famous Penguin." -Azrael, seeing you for the first time.
Friendship. Instantly.
He was your platonic soulmate.
I can see Azrael taking you flying with him. Imagine being a normal angel or demon, looking up and seeing the angel of death flying, holding a penguin in his arms.
The day of the trial, you and Azrael were watching everything from the sidelines, eating popcorn.
“Do you think they know you’re going to stay with me ?” -Azrael, watching the scene while eating popcorn, amused.
You made a penguin noise that can be translates as "Sshh, this is starting to get interesting." -Penguin!Reader, watching the scene like a TV novela.
Azrael speaks penguin. Don't ask how, he just do it.
"Guardship returns to.." Sera paused, either in disbelief or to be dramatic. “Azrael ?!” Certainly the first.
“Yo bitch.”
They looked at him as if they were seeing him for the first time- they hadn't even noticed him.
"WHAT ?! BUT HE DON'T EVEN KNOW THEM !" -Lute.
You worried for a second for Azrael's safety before remembering that he was the Angel of Death and that he was in no danger.
Lucifer looks at his brother, feeling betrayed that he is taking one of his children away from him.
Azrael walked out of the room with you in his arms, happy of the trial he saw today.
Azrael is like your cool dad who takes you everywhere with him and takes you wherever you want.
Azrael can go to Heaven, Hell or even Earth just with a snap of his fingers, say your destination and he'll take you there with no problem.
You often go to Hell and Heaven because you are attached to the people that are there.
Azrael only leaves you alone with Lucifer or Emily.
Lucifer is basically your uncle who babysits you all the time.
You have met Big G and the other archangels. I don't make the rules, as soon as Azrael won your guardship, he introduced you to the rest of the family.
You are the archangels' favorite nephew and Big G's favorite grandchild.
I just know that you and Big G spent hours on grandpa-grandchild outings. You go to the beach, get ice cream, play jokes on others... until Azrael comes to pick you up.
I headcanon that you help Gabriel in his work as a messenger.
It was you who passed the message of Sir Pentious being in Heaven to Charlie, telling her that redemption was possible.
It was your first message, Gabriel and Azrael were very proud of you after you managed to successfully transmit it.
They had a party to celebrate it.
No one can fuck with you.
Literally, you have Azrael, Big G and all the archangels on your side. Upsetting you/being on your bad side is a death sentence.
Lute and Adam are so disgusted that Azrael stole you - like you can feel their jealousy at 3000km/h.
Azrael just smiled at them before calling you “his son/daughter/child” in front of them just to piss them off.
And it works.
I can see Alastor trying to make a deal with Azrael for you to stay at the Hotel, Azrael just looks at him like "Really now ?"
Needless to say, it never worked and if it wasn't for you, he would have already killed the deer demon.
The angels find it adorable that the fearsome angel of death is walking around with a little Penguin, it's just too cute for them.
Family dinners are ✚beautiful✚
Beautiful in the sense that it's chaotic and it's never bored.
Usually family dinners are you, Big G, Azrael, Lucifer, Charlie, and the other archangels.
But one day you invited Emily, Sera, Adam and Lute to join you..
Let's say you weren't bored during all the dinner.
The best moments are those of hugs.
Hugs with Azrael are the best because he wraps his wings around you while carrying you. It's so quiet and peaceful that it puts you to sleep, which is very useful especially when you can't fall asleep.
Hugs with the whole family are... interesting ?
I mean, from the outside it looked like a mess of nameless feathers-
You are always in the middle of family hugs.
Azrael almost executed all the exterminators after learning about the extermination that was directed against the hotel when you were in it..
LET ME CANONIZE PROTECTIVE!DAD!AZRAEL.
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normanssurvivalsite · 1 year ago
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Almost got you, bitch
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(Hazbin Adam x fallen angel!Male reader)
No warnings I think perhaps cursing
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You were a fallen angel.
You questioned heavens doings after finding out about the extermination, and of course heaven didn't like that.
When you fell, your best friend, Adam, was the most pissed off. Granted he was the one who told you about it one night when he was drunk and you had to get him home but he didn't know you were gonna make such a fuss about it.
You were in heaven, everything was fine you had your friends there, no one important to you fell before you, and most importantly you had him there, your best friend. Why would you care about those misfits in hell??
All though he shouldn't have been surprised, even though you put on a hard shell and make very similar jokes than himself you are a kind soul, a very kind one at that always helping others. But still, you fell, you are not here with him anymore. That sucked.
*flashback*
Heaven was a pretty new invention and adam and eve were trying to settle, for that god sent an angel, you.
When you knocked on the door adam went to open it.
"Who the fuck is here this early?" Was the first sentence he ever spoke to you.
Now you aint gonna take shit from nobody.
"Im the fuck who is here get you asses moving cuz we're going to heaven" you said with an equally annoyed tone.
Thats when Adam knew he liked you. And with the same amount of sass to each other the two of you became fast friends.
"I Almost got you, bitch" yelled Adam. You guys were playing flying tag cuz he just got his wings and they were completely new to him.
"You wish, fucker" you answer with a shit eating smirk. You were the one to teach him how to fight, the one who helped him through his divorce withe eve, you were his best friend.
*end flashback*
"...Shit" adam called seraphim, an idea occurred to him, how about they move up the next extermination, that way he has a reason to get down there sooner and bring you back, also slather some demons.
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When you woke up in hell, the first thing you saw was someone trying to cut out your organs.
"WAAHH...MOTHERFUC-- WHAT THE HECK R U DOING??" You jumped up and started yelling at the demon.
"Calm down pretty boy, the cannibals pay good money for fresh organs like yours."
"Well guess what jackass I dont give tiny rats ass how good those fuckers pay you my organs aint for sale" and with that sentence you quickly kicked him in the nuts and when he fell to the ground brocke his neck. Yeah...you were kind but god help people who mess with you...literally.
"Well shit, never had to fight without wings."
"...Interesting, and here I thought I would have to come to your rescue in exchange for your soul." Came a...static voice from behind you.
"Uhhh...thank you?? I guess, but there will be no taking my soul." You looked at the grinning man in a red suit.
"Such a shame, you'd be my first fallen angel"
"...Ok, listen can I help you with something ooooorr??"
"Not particularly I just wanted your soul, but alas that ship has sailed, however since you just fell I assume you have no where to stay" his grin stretched a bit as he said that.
"Well, you assume correctly but Im not gonna agree to any deal you have to offer just for a place to stay"
"Well, well, you are smart one even though angles can be so gullible, but no there is no deal the only thing you'd have to do is perhaps act nice"
"I can do that." you answered finally smiling at the strange man.
"They are coming" you whispered to yourself. After you arrived in hell, Alastor offered you a place in the hazbin hotel and you were happy to take it. This was over 7 months ago, in that time you grew close to everyone who was there, they were your found family and now you will protect them even if its against you first family.
Today was the day of the extermination, the day you'd have to fight heaven, the day you's have yo fight Adam. Even though you never admitted to yourself you had deeper feelings for him than friendship, but since he literally went around fucking bitches that kind of lowered your hopes.
The fight was raging on. Since you were the one who literally trained these exorcists they were no match for you. However Alastor was supposed to take on Adam, and that worried you. You knew how powerful Alastor is supposed to be but you have seen Adam's powers first hand.
Just as you suspected Alastor couldn't take on Adam. So Charlie had to take over which made you even more worried. You climbed up and saw Adam hitting Charlie into the hazbin hotel sign.
"NO" you yelled
Adam turned towards you with a smile that said he was ready to kill, that disappeared however when he saw that it was you.
"(Y/N)...."
He looked at you for a moment when someone punched him out of no where.
"Oh shit" you said while looking at Adam flying away and than back at who punched him. Lucifer.
"Lucy?" U asked baffled. You met him when he was still in heaven. Personally you loved his creative ideas while the making of earth so you guys would talk a lot. You also found it highly unfair when he fell and considered going after him, but Adam held you back.
"...Who--? SHIT (Y/N)? Omg why tf are you down here??" He asked half pissed half happy to see you.
"Well a little this, a little that, you know, also I fucking fell so." You replied while hugging him.
"How many of you fuckers do I have to beat before I can take (Y/N) home with me" said Adam very pissed after crawling out from the window he was punched into.
"What?" You asked
"I'm the only one that matters, you messed with my daughter and now Im gonna fuck you" said Lucifer proudly smirking. Everyone went silent while you were trying to hold back your laughter.
"Khmm...its fuck you up, dad" corrected Charlie
"Wait what did I say?" Asked Lucifer confused.
After this a kind of...fight started between Lucifer and Adam. Well, only adam was fighting Lucifer was mostly changing forms.
It was quite funny to watch.
At the end Lucifer won over Adam and he wanted to kill him, but your body moved on its own and you threw yourself at Adam.
Charlie also told his dad to stop.
You stood up from Adams body.
"Take your angel army, and go home" you told him in a soft tone.
He painfully stood up and looked at you with sadness...and something you couldn't quite place.
"(Y/N)..." come with me, please. Is what he wanted to say, but he knew you are still mad at him and that your answer will be no. Or he just didn't want to seem vulnerable in-front of demons.
"I Almost got you, bitch"
Your lips twitched upwards a little bit.
"You wish, fucker"
And with that the angel army and adam flew up to heaven.
When adam arrived in heaven, something downed on him.
"Fuuuuuuckkk..IM GAY-"
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Is he an (at best) mid white man who thinks he is the shit?
Yes.
Is he a fucking loser though and a lil bitch
Also yes.
BUT YK WHAT.
HE IS FUNNY AF I LOVE HIM AND HIS SONGS R FUCKING AWSOME.
HOPE MY FELLOW ADAM ENJOYERS LIKED IT THOUGH😎
I hope you enjoyed your reading ladies gentleman and others, good afternoon good evening and good night🩖🧡
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bloodyboi · 7 months ago
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What was the most embarrassing things reader/YN has ever done in a smut you’ve seen?
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hazbinwhoree · 1 year ago
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Can I please request an Angst of Adam x Male Imp Reader where Reader is killed from the extermination and Lute was the one who killed Reader as Adam saw everything
Extermination & Mistakes
A/N: It’s short but I hope you like it!
Warnings: Reader death
Adam was living a nightmare.
He was in the sky. He was too far away to do anything. All he could do was watch helplessly as Lute drove her spear through (Name)’s chest. It happened so fast. The imp fell to the ground.
“NO!”
Adam finally reached them, and dropped to his knees. Lute looked on in utter confusion as Adam pulled (Name) into his arms, gently cupping his face. “(Name), no, please, not you, fuck-” Adam desperately tried to stop the bleeding, but Lute was a seasoned killer. Every blow she delivered was meant to kill.
(Name) coughed up blood. His eyes fluttered, but he kept them open to look up at Adam. He reached up, resting a bloody hand on Adam’s face. Adam was thankful for his mask so that no one could see his tears.
“Adam,” (Name) smiled weakly. “You’re here.”
“What the fuck were you doing out on the streets, I told you to hide,” Adam cried. “You know I don’t listen,” (Name) joked. But Adam couldn’t joke at a time like this. (Name) was rapidly losing color and becoming weaker. His hand dropped from Adam’s face. “I’m sorry.”
“No,” Adam refused. “You’re not sorry, because you’re not dying. Fuck, (Name), please!”
“I love you.” (Name)’s eyes fluttered shut and he fell still, cold to the touch.
Adam cried silently, defeated. “Sir?” Lute asked tentatively. “Go away!” Adam snapped. “Get the fuck out of here!”
Still confused, Lute obliged, leaving Adam with the imp’s body.
Gently, Adam laid (Name)’s limp body down. He smoothed back his hair before standing. He mourned for another moment before allowing rage to take over him. He flew off to brutally take it out on some poor sinners.
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wisteriaiswriting · 1 year ago
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Wait a funny idea but, femboy reader who ends in Heaven and Adam hitting on him, and reader is like 🧍my brother in christ i am a MAN what are you on vs Adam absolutely flabbergasted going đŸ«”đŸ€š what are YOU on. I guess more like crack being taken seriously?
Yours truly,
🖍
â„•đ• đ•„ 𝕎𝕙𝕠 𝕐𝕠𝕩 𝕋𝕙𝕚𝕟𝕜 𝕀 𝔾𝕞
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It wasn’t uncommon for Adam to hit on any new soul that arrives in heaven, but it was the fact he mainly flirted with the women. So when you arrived St. Peter threw him a weird look, one he didn’t catch.
“Hey Cutie~” He was leaning against a nearby wall with such a smug smile, likely thinking he’ll be able to sleep with you. But even if you've been here for less than a day, word travels quickly.
He was a womanizer, and you weren’t a woman. When his first attempts didn’t work he tried just a little harder, which didn’t make a difference.
“You realize I’m a guy, right?”
“Wha– huh!?” His eyes widened, probably scanning over you. “But you dress like that?”
Hands pointing all over your outfit before looking back towards a masked angel.
“Eh, you’re still hot so I’ll fuck.”
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maj-3k · 1 year ago
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Y.N (seeing Adam): I can fuck misogyny out of him.
Lute: You can what?!?
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ambrosiagoldfish · 1 year ago
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I've never sent a request before, but I'm fiending for more adam, like anything, anything at all
Benefit of the doubt
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Adam x 3rd Spouse! Reader
Viewer discretion is advised
Warnings: Angst(?), Not exactly fluff at the end but it gets better, typical Adam TW’s, reader low-key high-key has a complex about being loved, this is set way before the show, and Gn! Reader. (Also Y/n isn’t used, which also surprised me, the author, LMAO)
Part 2 Part 3 Part 4
Request Box: Open
Word count: 1760
A/N: Hi! Thanks for the request! I haven’t had a chance to write something that was originally my own idea in a while, so this was very refreshing! I’ve had this idea since I’ve watched the show so I hope you enjoy it!
I’m entirely up for making a small series from this oneshot, but I would need to know y’all’s opinion on it! (So don’t feel scared to let me know if you want some more of this idea in my Request box/the replies on this post!!)
Also Adam may be slightly OOC but please just chalk it up to him not yet getting his ego’s dick sucked 24/7
Anyways, I hope you all enjoy, let me know if you do!
Proofread but of course could have left mistakes!
You’ve existed for almost all of human existence, Almost.
You were the 4th being to be created during the time of Eden. But unlike the other 3, you weren’t human. In fact, you technically never lived before. An honestly hopeless existence, yet it was so beautiful in every way. But for what purpose? Well

You were created shortly after Eve ate the apple, before she and eventually Adam committed the first act of sin that caused evil to latch onto humanity like a leech.
The reason for your existence was simple. To be Adam’s new spouse, except for when after he died. From the very moment Eve bit the fruit of temptation, it was already decided she would hold no place in heaven. Adam was given mercy due to him not possessing any knowledge of the fruit Eve had shared with him, he trusted her wholeheartedly. Which is exactly why heaven gave him mercy
 no, pity would be a better choice of words.
Upon your creation you learned immediately of the happenings before your existence. About Lilith and Eve, and about Lucifer
And so, after Adam and Eve were casted away from the Garden, they continued to live their lives, fostering the existence of mankind for the rest of time. And when they eventually died, Adam was given pity while Eve was thrown to the wayside, the vast unknown.
You thought it was finally your time to experience existence with the one you loved, the one you were made for. Of course you never would know life as he did but surely your life never-after life could be just as meaningful as his.
How excited you were, how completely enamored by the thought of it. But there was a problem with that, Adam had grown into a new person, he was meant to of course, he was human. But he had grown selfish, abhorrent
 insecure.
You understood why, to be betrayed by not one but two of his wives for the same person. You couldn’t possibly imagine what he could be feeling. Before you were to meet your future husband, Sera informed you that he had asked for a mask, and once on, he has refused to take it off.
That didn’t bother you, it’s irrelevant to your love for him. You've only heard descriptions of his features. Short Brown hair, gold eyes, bushy eyebrows, some scruff on his chin. All in all, he sounded perfectly fine, ordinary even. But even then it’s his choice to wear the mask, so you’ll respect it.
Finally, the time he arrived in heaven, and when Sera finally introduced you, his new spouse, the one to whom would be by his side for the rest of forever.
He rejected you outright.
“What?” Your breath hitched as you stuttered over the word, the sharp inhale of your lungs through your mouth flicked through the air.
Sera looked just as shocked as you but she quickly regained her composure “What is the meaning of this Adam?”
“If you think I’m going to let my life get fucked over by another one of your “gifts” well, you’ve got another thing coming!” He crossed his arms and shook his head defyingly. “I’ve already learned my lesson with those last 2 bitches.”
“Adam I’m sorry that happened to you but I would never-“ almost like lightning his finger shot to your mouth, shushing you.
“Save it, Sweetcheeks, I really don’t care what you have to say, so just stay there and look pretty, k?” His hand fell and grabbed the sides of your face, squishing your cheeks together, his LED mask flashing a sharp smile.
You saddeningly looked down at the clouds below you.
“Adam!” Sera’s voice sounded through the air, still soft but firm, she continued, placing a hand on your shoulder, “Divine judgment allowed you to be the first human soul in heaven, so I gave you the benefit of the doubt. I expect you to give your new spouse that same grace.”
Slowly your eyes looked up at Sera with a soft smile. Adam only groaned “Ugh, Fine but don’t be fuxking annoying, capiche?” You nod your head quickly.
“Very good, glad we have it settled.” Sera gives a quick smile, “now, I have some business to take care of so I’ll leave you two alone to get to know one another” With that, Sera flew away leaving the both of you alone.
The silence was thick in the air, the only sound being the occasional wind breeze blowing past. The sunlight creeps in through the clouds painting an orange sky above you both. In every sense of the word, it was perfect.
It was almost funny. You had waited so long to finally meet him, your true love, the one you were made for. All the things you dreamed about, the laughs you’d have together, the warm embrace of the person who you loved. But now
 you didn’t know what to say

“I’m
 happy to finally meet you.” Your voice is quiet, almost non-audible. “I’ve been waiting for you since
 well, forever
”
He doesn’t respond. He seems to be transfixed on something below you both. You train your eyes on whatever he’s watching only to see the dark cavernous abyss below you. Finally he breaks his silence.
“The fuck is that?” He asked pointing down, a sound of genuine intrigue hidden behind his abrasive voice
“That’s hell?” You stated confused “where would-be sinners will go to be punished, didnt you k-“ you suddenly realized that perhaps Adam really didn’t know what hell was. It was only created relatively recently, after Eve and Him ate the apple, of course he wouldn’t know. “it’s also where Lucifer-“
“Don’t fucking say his name.” Adam spoke, his voice rough in his speech. LED mask putting a harsh frown on his face. “Let’s get one thing straight M”Kay babe, if you’re my “new spouse” that’s something you should remember.” The “new spouse” was said with a tone clearly meant to mock you.
“Sorry
”
“Ugh, It’s fine, just don’t do it again.” He groaned before a wicked smile crept onto his mask “Sooo, that means he’s going to be stuck with all the wasteful beings of existence, HA fuxkin’ hilarious. Guess that makes them the losers and us the Winners!”
His laugh filled the air, the sound was like music to your ears, sure maybe it wasn’t really what you’d hoped he’d fine funny, but you loved it all the same but eventually his laugh died down
Silence again
 in admits of all of it you suddenly was sparked with a thought “oh!” Adam looked confused at the random exclamation. “I had almost forgotten
 I brought you something, as a welcome gift or was it a nice to meet you gift? Both? Eh, it doesn’t matter but the point is-“ you suddenly snap your fingers.
Golden light began shining, the light seemed like liquid hot magma as it moved and molded slowly into a shape. Light seemed to be overlapping and churning into itself, forming your desired outcome. With one final snap of your fingers, the gleaming gold liquid took hold, and quickly hardened to a solid.
The object that had formed quickly fell down, landing in your arms with a light thud.
“I’m still learning this creation stuff, so I’m sorry if it’s not perfect but-“ you hold out the object in your arms as an invitation to grab it “I learned from Sera that you liked to play guitar when you were alive, so I thought you might like to have one here
”
Adam looked at the instrument in your hands. The base color was gold, the neck was pearly white with gold strings. To be honest it looked more like a harp then anything, like if a guitar and a harp had a baby.
Silence again. Did he not like it? Did he hate it? You go to pull it back to you and apologize when suddenly it’s ripped out from your hands.
“Holyshit, this is sick as Fuck!” Adam immediately started playing some rifts on the new guitar. The sound wasn’t what you were expecting but you guess Sera was right about his talent with the instrument. The whole time his mask had a wide and sharp smile as he mimicked guitar sounds with his voice, the occasional laugh leaving his mouth.
“I’m really glad you like it” you say, a sigh of relief leaving your body.
Adam looked at you, one you missed. He saw how relieved you were, how nice you were being. No person who supposedly loved him ever gifted him something, well, one other did. Someone he trusted and loved more than everyone, anyone. But look how that ended, with them being removed from the garden, away from an eternity of happiness until he died. All from someone giving him what he thought was nothing but love, a gift.
But he could see that this was different, you were different. When Eve gave him the apple, she didn’t explain what it was or why she wanted him to eat it, even when he asked her she didn’t explain. But with you, you had not only given him something you knew he liked but also expressed the reason behind it. Yes, you were different, even Adam could see it.
“Anyways, thanks for the axe, I guess
” Adam for the first time was stunned, but quickly he continued “What was the thing that Sera chick said about me and “divine judgment” or whatever the fuck? That she gave me the “benefit of the doubt
”
You were a bit confused but continued listening, “I guess I should at least try to give you a chance, since you got me this sick ass guitar an’ shit.” Your face lit up, you about began to speak before you were, once again, shushed “B-B-But-” his finger tapped your lips with each repeated syllable ”-only a chance. If you betray me like those last 2 bitches then you’re done, got it?”
To say you were overjoyed would be an understatement, a smile quickly plastered across your face as you quickly nodded your head
“Alright good, so uh, what do ya say about showing me the best places to get a bite to eat around here, I could really go for some ribs right about now.”
“ I’d
 love to, thank you Adam”
“Yeah don’t mention it Sweetcheeks” Adam quickly wrapped his arm around your shoulder and you two began walking.
Maybe you will get your eternity of happiness.you can only pray you do.
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deadghosy · 1 year ago
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Since your stuck I decided to help you out with the power of creativity!
How would characters of Hazbin Hotel react to Swan/Duck reader it's branching from penguin reader with how she got stuck in hell for a while
The power mainly focuses on them flying and wind magic ect!
REMINDER: REQUESTS ARE CLOSED‌
HAZBIN HOTEL X DUCK! READER
Warning: yandere themes.
prompt: a common mistake made your life eventual as people started to fawn over you
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You were supposed to be in heaven
BUT NOOOO, they sent you to hell because they mistook you for someone else. They could’ve just said they were full like a night club

So now you are in a pond swimming around peacefully. But there’s always a man with a hat and an apple cane that comes to see you literally everyday. You don’t know who he is, but he got attached badly. He would bring bread and show you rubber ducks with an awkward smile.
You just go over to him and eat the bread. You never learned how to talk since birth since your mother abused you. Being jealous of your pure soul and natural beauty. She always told you to shush. Making the sour taste in your mouth sting to never talk.
Eventually the man introduced himself as Lucifer, that’s when it hit you that this man was the first fallen angel, and king of hell. He must have seen your eyes widen in shock. “You can understand me?” He asked you as he scratched under your beak making you lean in his touch. You nodded as he smiles showing his sharp teeth.
“That’s even bettter.” He said
Two days after that, you were literally sleeping when you woke up to feel two hands pick you up, it was Lucifer who cooed at your drowsy face as he takes you to a hotel. Were you finally getting a place to stay instead of outside?
“Listen, my daughter has a dream
to redeem sinners
I wanna believe in her, but our people chose to make hell this way.” He says with a somber look. He took you inside to see basically a female version of Lucifer but more cheery looking as she gasped at you. “Dad? Is that the duck you’ve been talking about?! Aww they’re soooo cute!” She says as she holds you.
And that’s your story of how now you are basically part of the hotel’s family.
I imagine you just getting prince/princess treatment everyday from the hotel and Lucifer himself as he literally trims your duck fur as you just sit there on a fancy ass pillow.
I headcannon that angel dust buys you shades a lot because your yellow/white feathers is so majestic, he just had to make you even more bad ass.
Angel dust loves how high headed you are, not letting anyone tear you down even with a word. He admires you, so he wants you to admire him as well.
I headcannon for you to deadass have an attitude when bothered. Literally Alastor wanted to see what was so special about you. And so he woke you up from your beauty sleep making you go haywire on him.
You pecked him as he tried to hit you, possibly trying to injure you only to injure himself as he came out pissed off with a smile. He definitely spit out a feather as you quacked out a laugh as if this shit was looney tunes.
Charlie always rants to you about her days and how her and vaggie’s relationship is going. Charlie was notified by her father that you can understand her. She doubted it at first, but when you actually nodded she gasped shocked with stars in her eyes.
You and Charlie grew close
to the point she was almost like her father. Constantly checking up on you, feeding you. Watching you. You tried to push it off
but it was kinda unsettling.
You could obviously fly, which you do around the hotel to spread your wings. But when you fly you have a glowing yellow light around you.
I can see you just chilling at the bar as residents come in and out as you just get petted as husk grumbles a little and also pets you. Husk was immediately enchanted by your soft duck feathers
You love to make small tornados at sinners who cause trouble in the hotel. You are the hotel’s duck, so you must at least protect the guests at least.
Vaggie is the one to always make sure to research what ducks eat before making sure you can eat them. She likes how you make everyone feel fuzzy and warm inside. Even her.
You damn well hated that you died into a duck body..but it felt nice knowing that you couldn’t just live the possible human or at least whatever you are. Demon or angel. You could possibly be in a pond sleeping and eating bread all damn day.
I imagine Sir Pentious had put a top hat on you that’s similar like the ones his egg boiz wear. So he loves to have you around when he builds things.
You doze off like this and it’s so cute to the point they will record and take a picture of you. (If you don’t wanna click link, it’s a duck nodding its head off until it goes limp since the duck is tired)
I headcannon Alastor to hate you at first and want to cook you for duck stew, but then he falls in love with how entertaining and smart you are. You technically aren’t just a mere duck.
I can see you just making small hurricanes in your bath tub when niffty has to wash you. You once accidentally splashed her. But she chuckled splashing you.
A sinner once tried to take you from the hotel’s pond that Lucifer made for you only be found 30 secs later taking you.
“WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE TOUCHING MY DUCKLING?!” Lucifer yells angrily at the sinner who got knocked flat on their ass. His demon form was coming out as fire spits out his mouth when he huffed.
You did a comedic side eye at Lucifer who was acting possessive as hell itself. You didn’t even know what to do as this man kept holding you like a pet duck you seen fat white men do in the streets.
The sinner didn’t live after that.
I can see husk just petting you softly and then eventually just falling asleep on your body. Like his head is on your body as you just watch hell tv as he snores. Oddly comfortable in your soft feathers.
You literally waddle around the hotel wearing a cute scarf with your favorite color. Alastor oddly knitted it for you like a old grandma to their grandchild 😭
I imagine you just side eyeing Lucifer as he suddenly had the urge to read more information about ducks and how their eggs look. So imagine how Lucifer would act if you pregnant. But the thing is, you rather die then be in pain in birth.
Lucifer makes you a lot of blue things to remind you of a pond since that was the place you chill in a lot. It was to the poke Charlie and Lucifer nodded to make you a pond in the backside of the hotel. It’s your little chill haven.
You felt pissy one day because your feathers were molting..so the wind outside was heavy cause your feathers were just falling and you hated it. You felt insecure but the crew felt your feelings and started to cheer you up. Soon or later, your new feathers came back quickly.
The Vee’s had definitely notice your presence since you first came here. I mean who the hell looks like a damn duck down here with pure beautiful feathers that remind them of so called heaven.
I can see the Vee’s and you having the relationship where it’s basically like team rocket and pikachu type troupe. 😭 they always fail trying to kidnap you because you literally put out ducks that look like you and they fall for it, EVERY SINGLE TIME-
I headcannon you have a ribbon your favorite color wrapped around your neck like a bow or collar with your name on it❀
Vox had literally set his drone to spy on you as he watches with a sick grin at how adorable and elegant you looked just swimming in your sweet pond and how you just outsmart Alastor. ïżŒ
Imagine how badass you are to suddenly turn big in size because the hotel was being threatened. So you literally grew in a size of the hotel building and flapped your wings to fly them bitches to who knows nowhere.
If you were on the same branch, you would definitely be the older sister of penguin! Reader if it was lore type shit 😭 you don’t play no games about your emotions as you are always observing
LOL IMAGINE YOU WADDLING TO GO TO THE BATHROOM LIKE A HUMAN AND THE EGG BOIZ JUST FOLLOW AFTER YOU AS IF YOU WERE THEIR MOTHER-
The Vee’s definitely sneak on you by Vox’s drone that swarms around your pond without your knowledge.
Velvette literally sends you nice outfits your size. Literally cute outfits where the holes are for your wings so you can fly and look drippy as hell.
See I could definitely imagine you sneaking out the hotel to just get hooked up with your new outfit stylist which is Velvette now.
Vox
Imagine how cold the state duck! Reader has (hear me out, edit audio type shit starts playing-)
I can see you just swimming and Lucifer takes a picture of you, admiring your beauty in place as you just flock around your damn pond. “That’s my baby
.” He says wiping a dramatic tear from his eyes.
Valentino. Now I won’t say he would be obsessed romantically but more platonically as he would love for you to be part of his life as his pet only. Like an actual pet he would take care of.
I headcannon Alastor actually tried to feed you some bread
and you accepted it making Alastor smile wildly at how you trusted him getting close to you for one.
Lmao you literally did some Wingardium Leviosa ass shit on someone because you didn’t like how they looked at you đŸ˜­ïżŒ
You literally are so coddled and spoiled
it was to the point you would be walking or more like waddling down the damn streets alone and people would aw at your beauty and gracious. It’s overwhelming, but at least you know people won’t fuck with you.
But people just never learnt to keep their hands off of a beautiful creature.
Once Adam got sent down to find an angel that was suppose to be in heaven. He didn’t except for you to be a fuckin duck. So he laughed and took you up with ease as you quacked furiously, trying to get at least someone’s attention.
It was too late as Lucifer sees you get flown up into the heaven portal. Lucifer dropped the tray of lemonade in shock to see his beloved flying into the portal. Lucifer felt his heart squeeze knowing that the bastard knew he couldn’t get into heaven.
Lucifer quickly spout out his wings and fly sharply towards adam’s fading figure. Adam snickers seeing Lucifer’s anger in his glowing red eyes. He turned around and waved you around to taunt Lucifer as you had a “I don’t have time for this
” face. Literally you pecked Adam’s face and hands making Adam spazz out and throw you at Lucifer’s face.
“FINE! TAKE YOUR DUMB ASS DUCK!” Adam yells as he flies off grumbling about making you into duck stew
So Lucifer was happy with a derpy expression and calmed down holding you. He got even more protective as he makes sure you are watched 24/7. He wanted to give you freedom
but after that stunt Adam did. He’s not letting anyone touch you without his permission. Of course his daughter can though!
But what if Adam had succeeded in his capture of you, things would be most likely how it was in hell
.just more clean and healthy.
St. Peter definitely greeted you with a warm smile as you didn’t
.you didn’t like how he just sassed you and let you fall to hell. So of course it was rocky, but soon or later you two got along since he brides you with bread. He soon gets obsessed with how you get so trusting over things. He uses that to his advantages.
Sera greets you with open arms, literally as she picks you up. Cooing at your pure yellow/white feathers that matches the aesthetic of heaven. You match perfectly here as your angel form is two pair of wings. Your normal duck wings and angel wings. You are the most beautiful angel she ever met and laid eyes on as she shows you around heaven. Every part and area of it. This shall be your new home.
Emily won’t be a crazyyy person over you. As I can see her being a light hearted person who doesn’t love bomb you in a manipulative manner but only wants to be your friend in a loving way. She finds you amazing at how smart and caring you are towards her as you visit her and she visits you back. She brings you every bread know to man and heaven as she noticed you like bread. You and her are clearly amazing friends to each other.
The Angels adore your every movement as if you were also a god/godesss. You were confused at this attention. It was way more overwhelming when you were in hell with the others. Just like how the penguin! Reader was, you made a social media account and half of heaven followed you. It was an insane amount of followers that you didn’t mean to have. But the angels love to greet you as you fly/walk by. With you being so graceful here, who wouldn’t say you belonged here.
Adam most definitely is possessive and always manipulates you into thinking he is superior. He forces himself to be your caretaker, he literally makes you stay in his place all day and all time watched over. He feels the need to control your very bidding and movement as this dickhead degrades you to make you feel useless. It sometimes works, but sometimes doesn’t. ïżŒ
Lute is a controlling person who sees your intelligence as a threat as she wants to break you into her clasp. She’s the second most controlling than Adam. But she’s an overwhelming controlling as she wants you you to see her as your protector and person you can be dependent on at all times. She wants you to be able to tell her everything you know so she can just please you.
Adam finds it amusing at how you got use it heaven so quick despite this new attention. You literally sit on his lap napping as he lounges on the couch. Basically watching sports or whatever.
You can’t help but think, “why am I even surprised.”
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scekrex · 1 year ago
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Consider chasing dick instead of pussy
prompt by @akiriyo
pairing: Adam x male!reader
warnings: language & implied sexual intimacy I guess
note: not beta read bc idc
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You were completely zoned out, your hand was supporting your head so that it wouldn't slap down on the table.
It was yet another day of Adam complaining - seriously the guy was complaining more about his ex wives than you two were having a normal conversation about anything else. Because no matter what you were talking about, Adam somehow always found a way to talk about Lilith and Eve. And once started, his ranting could go on for hours, there were countless nights without sleep simply because the man wouldn't stop talking about his fucking cheating bitches of ex wives. And with every other sentence he then claimed that ‘he’s totally over it’ and that he doesn't need them anyways.
Fucking bullshit.
“Yo, are you even listening, bitch?” the first man asked all of a sudden, fingers snapping in front of your face to get your attention.
“You should've dated a fucking guy instead of these bitches, y’know. All fucking day you keep complaining about how awful they were, how they cheated on you with Lucifer, how they betrayed you and how you'll never be able to get into a healthy relationship with a woman ever again because of those two cunts. Well then fucking quit chasing after pussy and try dick, you fucking idiot.” In all honesty? You really didn't know where that came from nor were you sure if Adam had been able to understand you because of how fast you were talking but by God it felt good. 
Because for once there was silence. Pure, blissful silence.
“What?” was all that came from your counterpart. His golden eyes were widened, confusion was written all over his face and he seemed truly taken aback. You simply huffed, now that you had started it, you might've might as well finish it.
“Y’know all I hear from you lately is ‘That whore Lilith did this’ and ‘Fuckin cheating cunt Eve did that' fucking quit it already and date guys. If you would've looked at me back in Eden for once, just fucking once, you would've been able to save yourself a lot of trouble. But instead you were chasing bitches that were rather bouncing on fucking Lucifer's dick than yours.”
His expression changed, confusion was replaced with realization and you just thanked God that this man seemed to have enough of his brain left to catch on to what you were saying.
“Fuck, you-” the brunette started. He had sure been expecting something but this? This wasn't something he had been noticing, not until you brought it up that was. “You were visiting Eden because of me?”
“Ding, ding, full points. You want a fucking trophy for being able to follow my words?” you bit back, slightly annoyed by his oblivion. Had Adam really been that blind to not notice the ways you've been staring at him a little longer than friends did? That you were always there for him, no matter how late, no matter what?
Adam's expression soured slightly at your choice of words and he shot a quick “Fuck you” your way. “You could've just fucking said so y’know.” Another huff escaped you as you got up from the chair you were sitting on to be on eye level with him - Adam was still sitting on the chair across the small table. “I could've just said so? Are you kidding? I've been fucking trying to but every time I tried you brought up your ex whores.”
Adam was silent again, he did nothing but to simply look you in the eyes.
That was until he grabbed you by the collar of your robe and pulled you in roughly. You stumbled slightly forwards, your knees hitting against his as your arm shot towards the backrest of the chair Adam was sitting on in order to not collapse on top of him. And then his lips brushed against yours, harshly and firm, far from soft and lovingly. One of his hands wandered to your neck, he made sure you wouldn't pull away too soon. But you weren't thinking about ending the kiss, you had been waiting for thousands of years for this to happen.
Adam parted his legs to pull you in closer, your chest was now flush against his and his hand that had been gripping your collar just moments ago was now on your ass.
And all you were able to think about was that you now had an effective method to shut Adam up properly.
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amphibiahawks321 · 9 months ago
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Female adam from hazbin hotel x male reader
Female!Adam : .....Why the hell is that whore of an angel flirting with MY man...
Lute : You're getting possessive again ma'am...
Female!Adam : she's acting like the literal first tits doesn't own him...
Lute : Own?
Female!Adam : it Sounds hot–oh finally that winged thot leaves him....
10 minutes later
Female!Adam : Who the fuck did she think she is?
[Y/N gently cups her cheeks]
AngelM!Reader : Darlin you need to calm down... You know she can't replace you ^v^
Female!Adam : You're fuckin right... My tits are bigger anyway–
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jay-m3 · 1 year ago
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Y/n: *Stares at Adam*
Adam: *slurps his soda*
Y/n: *Keeps staring*
Adam: *sighs, raising an eyebrow at Y/n*
Y/n: *Stares with unblinking eyes*
Adam: What the fuck you're looking at, bitch?
Y/n: I'm not sure if I should wish you a happy father's day or not...are you my grandpa?
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libraryraccoon · 1 year ago
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Kk so I am too lazy to write on my own but I have come up with a pretty good day dream scenario that you can write for ( I might also do it but maybe not).
But a police officer with a strong sense of justice goes to hell and starts trying to organize after spawning in one of the worst areas in hell, even the overlords are hesitant to go in there. But as they gain more and more power the area to clean up expands.
Their really not a bad person , one of the only reasons their there is because they had premarital sex . ( They banged someone's wife when drunk).
Was killed by the husband by a shot in the chest. Now resemble a fox because of their wit and inganuty.
( in sry if it's too specific but you can cut out anything u don't want)
Gender : GN
Pronouns : None
Message from Raccoon : I try to write a police officer!reader, but i'm pretty sure it's bad.
TW : Reader is in Hell 2 years before the series, 🟣 (one time mentionned), violence.
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General Headcanon
In your lifetime you were a police officer, and a good one at that.
But unfortunately, one day you died and arrived in hell.
The person you loved was cheating on their partner with you. They didn't like it and killed you.
You are now in Hell.
Hell sorely lacked justice, but it's okay, you will rectify it.. :)
Vox didn't like you. Like, really.
He heard about you after you nearly beat Valentino to death.
Why did you beat Valentino ? Because he was a 🟣, forcing people to prostitute themselves, and more.
You also beat Velvette a bit because she created the love potions.
So yes, he didn't like you.
He start to hate you when you broke his head/tv when you saw him manipulating people..
It's hell ! What did you expect ?! Everyone manipulates !
A violent police officer. This is what you were.
You killed everyone who did things against your morals... in one month you killed more than the exterminators ever did.
Adam sees you as a sort of rival/person on his level.
Alastor find you entertained.
You were the only one in Hell with a moral, so you were interesting.
He also finds it very interesting that you manage to beat 3 Overlords and that 2 Overlords (Carmilla and Zestial) consider you their equal.
He wanted to come talk to you, but he decided not to after seeing you kill a demon with an angelic weapon because they were cannibals.
Compared to what you might think, he have a sense of self-preservation.
When you arrived at the hotel, as part of security, Alastor was a little scared..
Especially when you pointed your gun at his forehead, where the hunter had shot, killing him when he was alived.
Bonus point if you are a dog demon, he is really scared and wonders if you want to reproduce his death.
Husk love you and love the fact that you can scared Alastor, he live for seeing that man being your victim.
Niffty love you, she think you are a real bad boy ! RIP
You and Vaggie get along well, you both know that not everyone can be redeemed (looking at Alastor from a distance) and you know how fucked up Hell is.
But you help Charlie because some still have a chance to redeem themselves (looking discreetly at Sir Pentious).
Sir Pentious was afraid of you at first, but in the end he start to like you.
You always get him out of the worst situations, I can imagine that you saw Vox try to use his power on Sir Pentious when he was a 'spy', and you directly destroyed the watch by throwing a knife at it.
Sir Pentious didn't even notice you were here-
After that, a long conversation followed about why we should not harm the Hotel and its residents and avoid the Vees.
Sir Pentious thanked you very much for that by the way.
After that Vox received a little visit from you..
If it wasn't for Charlie stopping you from killing him, he would have died instead of just being injured/broken.
Vox spent a week in repair/hospital.
Angel Dust adores you.
Every time you accompany him to work, strangely Valentino gives him the day off..
Yeah, he takes you with him whenever you can.
Even if you hate the Overlords, you are one of them.
Overlord D/N (demon name), the Police Officer of Hell.
Carmilla loves it when you are at meetings, the other Overlords (*cough* Vees *coughs*) are always calm when you are here.
You đŸ€ break into Lucifer's house.
Yeah, because well before the hotel, 3 days after your arrival, you break into Lucifer's house.
Why ? Because you found unacceptable that he didn't manage Hell and let the demons do all they want.
You didn't expect to find yourself faced with a depressed father whose wife left 5 years ago and who he no longer really has contact with his daughter.
You had to play therapist and friend.
Literally you were giving him therapy sessions in exchange of him letting you stay at his house.
You don't even have a degree in therapy.
Lucifer considers you as his lifeline. He clings to you for dear life, metaphorically and literally.
Hurt this man and the next day you will find his corpse-
Is this a healthy friendship ? No, but are you going to ignore this fact and pretend everything is normal ? Yes.
You have changed his point of view on demons, in the sense that some, not all but some, can be redeemed.
I headcanon that you repaired Charlie and Lucifer's relationship, and that before the series.
Greatest dad didn't happen, sorry everyone.
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