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simul16 · 3 years

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The Curious Case of the Original Women of Ravenloft (or Loose Canons Can Be Dangerous)

For many years, we in the Dungeons & Dragons RPG studio have considered things like D&D novels, D&D video games, D&D comic books, as wonderful expressions of D&D storytelling and D&D lore, but they are not canonical for the D&D roleplaying game. -Jeremy Crawford Those among us who are fortunate enough to become shepherds or stewards of the D&D game must train ourselves to become art and lore experts so that we know when we’re being faithful to the game’s past and when we’re moving in a new direction. We decide, based on our understanding of the game’s history and audience, what artwork or lore to pull forward, what artwork or lore needs to change, and what artwork or lore should be buried so deep that it never again sees the light of day. -Chris Perkins There is a very simple statement to be made about all these stories: they do not really come off intellectually as problems, and they do not come off artistically as fiction. They are too contrived, and too little aware of what goes on in the world. - Raymond Chandler, "The Simple Art of Murder"

There's been a bit of a stir in the D&D community over some comments that Jeremy Crawford made at a press briefing prior to the D&D Live event about how only the information published in a WotC Fifth Edition D&D product is 'canonical' for D&D. There was enough of a reaction that Chris Perkins, self-described as "one of the D&D Studio's principal game architects", published an article on the WotC site (linked under Perkins's name above) explaining this statement and explicitly calling out what it means when discussing an intellectual property with a long-standing and vast catalog of lore, where that lore is one of the primary positive features of that property.

On the surface, it seems pretty straight-forward. Crawford's comments focused on not overwhelming partners with lore requirements when producing peripheral products like novels and video games so that they can focus on producing their product rather than meeting arbitrary lore requirements (not that this seems to have helped the most recent video game product release). Perkins mentions this, too, explicitly evoking R.A. Salvatore's novels and how Salvatore (perhaps infamously) used to incorporate elements into his stories that were outright illegal according to the D&D game rules (such as Drizzt's dual-wielding of scimitars, only made legal in 5e, or his creation of Pikel Bouldershoulder, a 'mentally challenged' dwarf who believed himself to be a druid and even eventually displayed druid-like abilities, even though dwarves in the D&D of the era of the Cleric Quintet series, where Pikel appeared, were not allowed to be druids). Perkins's comments also refocused the discussion on players, DMs, and their games, making the point that every campaign develops its own canon, and that the version of the Forgotten Realms run at a given D&D table does not perfectly match either the version of the same world run at a different table, or even as presented in the official published campaign sourcebooks.

This position is easily defensible; I even presented it myself in a response on Twitter to Perkins's own comment on an event in the Acquisitions Incorporated campaign he runs and records for online consumption. A restaurant that exists in the Forgotten Realms of Acquisitions Incorporated might have been shut down for health reasons after a shambling mound attack in a different campaign, or a previous party of PCs might have made a disastrous error during the war with reborn Netheril that led to the fall of Cormyr, with the coastal area of the former kingdom being absorbed by their rivals in Sembia while the interior lands were allowed to be overrun with monsters migrating out of the Stonelands (which makes for a nearly ideal 'starter zone' for a new 5E Realms campaign, IMO).

But just because there are benefits to such an approach to canon doesn't mean that it's the best way to approach canon, particularly with respect to a property which has had a long lifespan and is expected to have an even longer one. There are plenty of ways to criticize such an approach, many of which have been brought up by other commenters:

In any long-lasting intellectual property, there is a core of fans that are devoted to the lore and canon of that property -- see Harry Potter, Star Wars, etc. 'Loosening up' the lore not only convinces your existing super-fans not to continue to support and evangelize your property, but also prevents the creation of a new generation of such fans to continue your property's life into a new generation of fans.

Since much of what is on offer in a published sourcebook is the current 'canon' (despite Perkins's statement that "we don't produce sourcebooks that spool out a ton of backstory", the reality is that much of the content of sourcebooks like the Sword Coast Adventurer's Guide and Van Richten's Guide to Ravenloft is setting material: i.e.: "backstory"), if you're not going to stand up for the lore of prior editions, and by implication make it clear that future editions aren't going to be beholden to the lore of even this edition, then why get heavily invested in the lore at all? (This ties into the above point, as the fewer people who get invested in the lore of a property, the fewer evangelists for that property you will produce.)

If you have any Organized Play for your game (which D&D does, as does so-called 'living card games' which are based on an advancing storyline), loosened canon makes it easier for those authors to produce content, but simultaneously makes it harder to incorporate the content that players enjoy into the overall game. In addition, the later stories can't take into account all of the potential outcomes that a given group might have taken through a given adventure, so in effect, this turns all adventures into "railroad plots" with respect to the larger campaign narrative, where the best outcome is assumed for each adventure and thus the PCs don't really have the ability to influence the overall metaplot. (This gets complicated, because it necessarily involves different campaign outcomes contesting with one another to become the 'canonical' outcome, which is itself pretty challenging. Regardless, one of the attractions of a 'living campaign' is that the campaign in theory adapts to respond to the actions of the players; a 'living campaign' that doesn't do this is no different than a traditional scripted campaign.)

Perkins's final point in his essay, though, seems just as important to the current 'administration' as any of the other explanations, and that's the quote referenced at the top. In effect, what Perkins is saying is that the 5E team wants to be able to take what they consider 'good lore' and keep in in the game, while revising or outright eliminating 'bad lore'. Again, this seems like a defensible position, but it also has a flip side: it assumes that your changes to the lore are not just lazy or arbitrary, but are made consciously and for specific reasons. This could work well if you actually follow through on your intention, but given the realities of publishing on a schedule, it's inevitable that some amount of lazy or arbitrary decision-making will occur, and in those decisions, you can inadvertently (or allow someone without your knowledge to deliberately) make decisions that harm the canon. The statement seems reasonable, but as we'll discover below, it's actually fundamentally dishonest.

With that in mind, let's explore...

The Curious Case of the Original Women of Ravenloft

The original Ravenloft setting as released in the early 1990s, like the game studio that released it, contained a lot of old white guys, and it didn't necessarily get any more diverse with time. The early 3E Ravenloft product "Secrets of the Dread Realms" by Swords & Sorcery Studios lists eighteen Domains of Dread, half of which were unambiguously run by old white dudes. Depending on how you want to define 'old' and 'white', you could even add a few more domains to the list (such as Verbrek, ruled by the son of the former old white dude darklord, and Markovia, depending on whether you consider Markov to still be human enough to qualify as an old white dude). Only five domains were ruled by female darklords, and one of those (Borca) isn't even wholly ruled by the female darklord. Comparing the darklords of Secrets of the Dread Realms to that of Van Richten's Guide to Ravenloft points out just how much of a priority it was for the 5E team to increase the diversity of darklords in the setting.

Curiously, though, the female characters retained from classic Ravenloft don't appear to have been changed in a manner that fits Perkins's explanation of what they consider when deciding what to bring forward from older lore, as in nearly every case, the character became less interesting and possesses less agency in her current 5E presentation than she did in her original pre-5E incarnation.

Jacqueline Montarri

Let's begin our survey with a character who technically doesn't yet exist in 5E lore, and thus by Crawford's definition doesn't exist in lore at all. It might seem odd to begin my presentation of 'female characters deprived of agency by their 5E presentations' by starting with a character who wasn't presented, but on the other hand, being removed from canon and thus from existence could be argued as the most severe loss of agency possible for a character.

Jacqueline doesn't exist in 5E because the organization she founded, the Red Vardo Traders, doesn't exist in 5E. In older editions, the Red Vardo Traders was both a legitimate trade company as well as a criminal organization engaging in smuggling, assassination, and other crimes, and are based in the Barovian town of Krezk. The version of Krezk presented in Curse of Strahd, however, makes no mention of the Red Vardo Traders, choosing instead to present Krezk as a small village dominated by the Monastery of Saint Markovia*, a location that does not exist in pre-5E Ravenloft. The Red Vardo Traders were founded by Jacqueline for a specific purpose, and thus both their legitimate business operations and their criminal pursuits are but shells for their true purpose: to find Jacqueline Montarri's head.

* - Saint Markovia himself was initially presented in the late 3E reboot adventure "Expedition to Castle Ravenloft", as one of the inhabitants of Castle Ravenloft's crypts; Markovia was changed from a man into a woman as part of Curse of Strahd, and the Sanctuary of First Light, the largest church of the Morninglord in Ravenloft pre-5E and placed in Krezk by its developers, was re-written in Curse of Strahd as the Monastery of Saint Markovia.

Montarri sought the secret of eternal youth, and in doing so, consulted with the Vistani seer Madame Eva to find it. Eva originally resisted, but finally revealed that the secret rested within the library of Castle Ravenloft, and Jacqueline, out of a desire to be the only possessor of such a secret, out of a need to do evil, or perhaps both, murdered Eva before departing for Strahd's castle. Unfortunately, Jacqueline's infiltration of Castle Ravenloft attracted Strahd's attention, and she was captured, turned over to the villagers in Barovia, and beheaded for her crime against Strahd. However, some of Eva's fellow Vistani asked to take custody of the body, explaining that the woman had murdered their leader, and Jacqueline eventually awoke -- wearing Madame Eva's head. She since learned that she could 'wear' the decapitated heads of others, and cannot survive long without one. Jacqueline's body has not aged, but her head ages a year for each day she wears it, requiring her to continually murder (and possibly assume the identities of those she murders) to survive while she searches for her original head, the only thing that can break the curse that Eva's kin placed upon her.

That's a pretty amazing backstory, and one I'd think would be very worth including in a new Ravenloft setting, save for one problem: Madame Eva's death. Now this isn't actually a big problem in the context of classic Ravenloft: both Eva herself and her tribe of Vistani were known to have a 'curious' relationship to time (former Ravenloft writer John W. Mangrum explicitly called Madame Eva a "time traveler" when it was pointed out that Eva's continued existence in Ravenloft canon suggested that she had not actually been killed), but it did cause confusion among those with a more static approach to continuity. Since Eva unambiguously exists in 5E Ravenloft, being referenced in both Curse of Strahd and Van Richten's Guide to Ravenloft, it appears that the decision to jettison Jacqueline and her Red Vardo Traders comes mainly from a desire to untangle that confusing bit about Eva actually being dead but still walking around.

Granted, the need for an organization like the Red Vardo Traders is perhaps less significant in a Ravenloft where the Core doesn't exist and every domain is its own Island of Terror, but given that Van Richten's Guide to Ravenloft still lists a number of organizations known to be capable of travel between domains, including two that they just invented out of whole cloth, it would seem as though making use of a pre-existing organization might have worked just as well. The other complicating factor is that Montarri is not herself a darklord; with the focus of the 5E Ravenloft experience on darklords as linchpins of the setting, having a compelling NPC who isn't a darklord (but who honestly could be made into one fairly easily, as her curse lends itself to a darklord's punishment and her formation of the Red Vardo Traders into her way of dealing with the limitations of being a darklord) would seem to detract from what the 5E designers were trying to do with the setting.

But this isn't the only or even the worst example of a female character deprived of her agency in the new regime...

Gabrielle Aderre

Unlike Jacqueline, whose elimination from Ravenloft seems like an editorial red pen taken to an otherwise merely irritating issue, anyone familiar with Gabrielle Aderre's backstory realized that her background would have to change significantly given the changes to the Vistani in Van Richten's Guide to Ravenloft.

In pre-5E Ravenloft, the Vistani were an exotic human culture of outsiders, driven by their heritage and abilities to make their own way within the Domains of Dread, and having developed mysterious abilities and customs to protect themselves from its dangers. Non-Vistani were viewed with suspicion, to the point where the Vistani had a specific word ("giorgio") for non-Vistani, and those who chose to breed with non-Vistani and their offspring were frequently outcast from Vistani culture. Female Vistani were often gifted with 'The Sight', a precognitive or divination ability, but the Vistani took great pains to ensure that no male children were born with The Sight, lest that child grow up to be a prophesied doom-bringer known as a Dukkar. (One such seer was Hyskosa, whose legendary prophesies eventually led to the Great Conjunction which nearly tore the realms apart.) Because of their separation from mundane society, more traditional settlements tended to fear the Vistani, especially their rumored skill with fashioning deadly curses when wronged, and though Vistani would often trade with such settlements, they were never truly welcome in them; ultimately, the Vistani would follow their wanderlust and move on, leaving even more strange tales and confusing lore in their wake.

Van Richten's Guide to Ravenloft changed all that. Now, the Vistani are simply a sprawling human culture who "refuses to be captives of a single domain, the Mists, or any terror." Their abilities are no longer unique -- there are a number of Vistani who "possess the Mist Walker Dark Gift" that can be taken by any character -- though they are said to "understand how to employ Mist Talismans" with their "traditional magic". Instead of being seen by others as mysterious outsiders, now "the news and goods Vistani bring ensures a genuine welcome" from more traditional settlements, and only "more dismal communities view Vistani with suspicion"; likewise the Vistani themselves no longer refer to non-Vistani as "giorgio", nor do they seem to have any issues with those of mixed Vistani blood traveling or dwelling among them. Most significantly, the legends of the Dukkar no longer exist, with both male and female Vistani serving as spellcasters "with many favoring divination magic for the practical help if provides in avoiding danger." In fact, Hyskosa is no longer a lost seer prophesying the doom of the Dread Realms, but "a renowned poet and storyteller" who is alive and leads his own caravan of Vistani through the Mists.

Given all of this, Gabrielle's pre-5E backstory would need to change quite drastically. Gabrielle's mother was half-Vistani, and possessed enough of The Sight to prophesy that Gabrielle could never seek to have a family or tragedy would be the inevitable result. Learning to hate the Vistani based on her mother's incessant refusal to acknowledge her desires for a family, Gabrielle eventually abandoned her mother during a werewolf attack, fleeing into Invidia where she was captured and brought before the darklord, who sought to enslave her to command her exotic sensuality. Instead, Gabrielle made use of the traditional Vistani "evil eye" to paralyze the darklord, murdering him and assuming his lordship over Invidia. Not long after, Gabrielle was visited by a 'mysterious gentleman caller', after which she discovered she was pregnant, eventually giving birth to a boy who proved to possess The Sight. Delighted that she had managed to give birth to a Dukkar, she failed to realize how quickly the boy grew or how powerful he proved to be until her son, Malocchio, usurped her throne (but not the dark lordship of Invidia) and cast her out of his court. Though there are definitely some problematic things in this story, it's not so terrible that it couldn't still serve as the foundation of a tragic Darklord's origin.

In Van Richten's Guide to Ravenloft, Invidia is detailed among the short descriptions of "Other Domains of Dread", and her pre-5E backstory has been utterly thrown out. There's no indication of how Gabrielle became darklord of Invidia, who the father of her child is, or anything from pre-5E lore. Instead, Gabrielle has become one of the parents from the story of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory -- a rich, bad mom convinced of her child's greatness and willing to accept anyone who supports that story while turning a blind eye to her child's misbehavior and cruelty toward his servants and teachers.

Pre-5E Gabrielle wasn't ideal, but at least she had a drive: she wanted a family, and refused to accept that her desire could not overcome the inevitable grinding wheel of fate. 5E Gabrielle arguably isn't even evil, just supernaturally deluded (ironically, her main flaw is her blind acceptance of the rightness of her own privilege), so it's not even clear why she rather than Malocchio is the darklord of Invidia. Rather than wanting a thing she can never have, 'modern' Gabrielle assumes she has a thing that doesn't exist, and is less a tragic figure desperately trying to assert her own agency than a deluded puppet, acting out a part in a drama that makes no sense. Granted, as we noted above, some degree of Gabrielle's old backstory would need to change to accommodate the other changes to Ravenloft lore as part of the 5E transition, but the decision to simply throw out the old Gabrielle and turn her into a character who isn't even aware of her own lack of agency in her situation is, in its own way, even more tragic than Gabrielle's original pre-5E story.

Isolde

Isolde is a fascinating character, because she was created after the Carnival, the group she leads in Ravenloft lore. In pre-5E Ravenloft, the Carnival was the Carnival l'Morai, run by a sinister being known as the Puppetmaster. The events that led to the Carnival breaking free of the Puppetmaster's influence are detailed in the 1993 Ravenloft novel "Carnival of Fear". Then, in the 1999 supplement "Carnival", John W. Mangrum and Steve Miller take the Carnival l'Morai and introduce them to Isolde, a mysterious woman who joins the Carnival and assumes the role of its leader and protector. Much of the internal story within the supplement itself involves the theories that many of the other characters have about who Isolde is and where she comes from, and how various aspects of the Carnival, such as the Twisting (a change that comes over those who remain with the Carnival for any signficant amount of time and seem to bring hidden or secret traits to the surface as exotic abilities or mutations), relate to her. In the end, though (spoiler alert!), Mangrum and Miller reveal Isolde's true backstory -- she is a chaotic good ghaele eladrin who voluntarily chose to enter Ravenloft in pursuit of a fiend named the Gentleman Caller (thus the Carnival supplement is also the origin of the Caller, one of the signature non-darklord villains of the setting). The Twisting is revealed to be a side-effect of Isolde's 'reality wrinkle'; as an outsider, Isolde can re-make reality in a short distance around her, and one of the ways she does this is by bringing someone's inner self out and making it visible to others. Honestly, if you wanted a domain or group whose underlying reason-to-exist seems tailor-made for a modern RPG audience, it would be one where having your inner self revealed to the world, one that you've been taught is freakish and strange, proves to be beautiful to those who accept you.

But that's not what we got in Van Richten's Guide to Ravenloft, perhaps because of the book's insistence on page 6 that "Nowhere Is Safe". Instead of the 3E ghaele eladrin, Isolde is now just an eladrin, a 4E planar elf variant. Instead of entering Ravenloft and finding the Carnival l'Morai in need of a leader and protector, she was manipulated first by a powerful archfey into leading a fey carnival, then inexplicably decided to swap carnivals with a different carnival run by a group of shadar-kai through the Shadowfell, even going so far as to accept the intelligent (and evil) sword Nepenthe, who is the actual darklord of the Carnival.

Again, as with Gabrielle, some simplification of Isolde's backstory was probably inevitable, as the original backstory made use of very specific Ravenloft mechanics that the 5E version simply doesn't want to deal with (mainly Isolde's 'reality wrinkle' which drives the Twisting). But not only did the designers take a character who had explicitly chosen both to enter Ravenloft in pursuit of the Gentleman Caller and to take leadership of the Carnival to serve as its protector and changed her into a character who is manipulated into doing everything she does that gets her into Ravenloft (and leaves her no memory of how or why she got there), the designers didn't even decide to keep Isolde as the most significant character in Carnival, allowing the sword Isolde carries to take that starring role.

Oddly, a lot of the changes to Isolde's story are reminiscent of the classic Ravenloft story of Elena Faith-Hold and how she became the darklord of Nidala in the Shadowlands, which suggested to me that perhaps at one time the Shadowlands were not going to be included in Van Richten's Guide to Ravenloft, and the changes to Isolde's story were meant to be a call-out to what would be the missing story of Elena. But the Shadowlands also exist as an "Other Domain of Dread", so in the end, the changes to Isolde served no real positive purpose.

Interlude

It's worth taking a moment to contrast the characters above with the domains in Van Richten's Guide to Ravenloft that gained female darklords who didn't have female darklords previously:

Dementlieu, formerly ruled by Dominic D'Honaire, is now ruled by Saidra D'Honaire; it is hinted but not stated explicitly in Saidra's backstory that she is not actually related to the former darklord, but simply assumed the family name as part of her assumption of the rulership of Dementlieu, in which the Grand Masquerade must be maintained above all else.

Falkovnia, formerly ruled by Vlad Drakov, is now ruled by Vladeska Drakov; Vladeska's backstory makes it plain that she is a female re-skin of the original Vlad Drakov, himself a character from the Dragonlance world of Krynn. Other than her origin, which is now no longer tied to Dragonlance, her backstory is largely the same as her predecessor's, save that instead of the dead rising to battle Drakov's attempted invasions of their northern neighbor, Darkon, now the dead rise to reclaim Falkovnia itself from Vladeska's attempt to 'pacify' it.

Lamordia, formerly ruled by Adam, the creation of the mad doctor Victor Mordenheim, is now ruled by the mad doctor Viktra Mordenheim; Victor's hubris in his attempt to create life are matched by Viktra's attempts to defeat death.

Valachan, formerly ruled by Baron Urik von Kharkov, is now ruled by Chakuna; in one of the few backstories in Van Richten's Guide to Ravenloft that acknowledges a former darklord, Chakuna's backstory is that she had to become a monster (a were-panther, specifically) to defeat a monster (a panther who was polymorphed into a man as part of a revenge plot, fled from the Forgotten Realms into Ravenloft upon realizing what he was, where he was transformed into a vampire...look, not every convoluted backstory for the old Ravenloft darklords was necessarily a good convoluted backstory).

I'd argue that each of the darklords above retains her agency in Van Richten's Guide to Ravenloft, but it's curious to note that each of those darklords seems to have inherited that sense of agency from her relationship to the male darklord that preceded her, sometimes literally (in the cases of Saidra and Chakuna) and sometimes figuratively (in the cases where Vladeska and Viktra are mainly female re-skinnings of the original male darklords). The designers clearly have the capacity to allow a female darklord to exercise agency and have drive and purpose to her existence, if that drive and purpose was inherited from or inspired by an original male character. If the character was a woman all along, though, then agency and drive and purpose are not really important to the designers, if they can fit that character into the specially designed hole the size of the concept they had for the new domain. Which brings us to the character who I feel was done dirtiest by the designers in moving from classic Ravenloft to 5E...

Jacqueline Renier

Jacqueline Renier is one of the original Ravenloft darklords, tracing her origins all the way back to the original "Black Box" campaign setting released by TSR in 1990. She appears in two different places in that boxed set -- once as the chaotic evil darklord of Richemulot in the Realm of Terror booklet, and in a portrait of the Renier family included as a handout in the box. The Renier family was actually an ancient wererat clan in the world they originally came from, and Jacqueline herself was the granddaughter of the patriarch of the clan, Claude Renier. When the Reniers fled into Ravenloft to escape the justice of their original world, they first appeared in Falkovnia, where they ruled the sewers until finally forced out by Vlad Drakov's troops. Fleeing into the Mists, the Reniers found themselves in the new domain of Richemulot, and Claude found himself the domain's darklord.

Jacqueline proved an eager student in the manipulative ways of her elders, however; both her grandfather, who maintained control over the clan through a combination of coercion and sheer force of personality, and her mother, who murdered Jacqueline's father seemingly only so that Jacqueline and her twin sister would not need to lose the Renier name. Jacqueline learned the game so well that one day she manipulated her own grandfather into his destruction at her hands, so cleanly that no one else in the family dared to oppose her ascension. Jacqueline was now the matriarch of the Reniers, and the ruler of Richemulot.

But 3E Ravenloft added a few additional wrinkles to Jacqueline's backstory. In the Ravenloft Gazetteers, it was revealed that Jacqueline's ambition to assume control of her clan and the domain of Richemulot were not just driven by a desire for power, but in the name of a vision of the future where wererats would reigns supreme over all other humanoids. She began encouraging migration into the largely undeveloped and underpopulated lands of Richemulot, while overseeing work in putrid laboratories to develop the Becoming Plague -- a disease that would transform humanoids en-masse into wererats under Jacqueline's ultimate command. In every speech Jacqueline would give about the glorious future of Richemulot, it was not the future of humanity she was referring to, but rather the coming age of the rat.

Jacqueline's backstory wasn't perfect -- as with other female darklords, she also got saddled with the 'she desperately wants to be loved and is terrified of being alone' trope -- but for the most part, this is a truly impressive backstory. And in our age, a domain featuring an ambitious politician pushing nationalism to motivate her partisans, only for that nationalism to not be what her partisans believe it is would seem to be an extremely fitting template for horror. It would certainly seem possible to re-write the few problematic aspects of her character with more modern tropes; make Jacqueline an 'ace' (asexual) but who still craves romance based on her upbringing and is both attracted to and terrified by anyone who might potentially prove to be her equal, and you've got what I'd consider to be one of the best darklords in the setting.

As you might expect, given Jacqueline's placement on this list, that's not nearly what we got in Van Richten's Guide to Ravenloft.

Instead, Jacqueline was born as a noblewoman within Richemulot, and was quick to notice that the rise of the bourgeoise would threaten the power of the nobility and lead to their diminution in society. Jacqueline's grandfather was not the charismatic, sadistic mastermind of a clan of wererats, but an aging nobleman growing infirm in his old age, and he proved unable and/or unwilling to work to change things, so Jacqueline would need to be the person to reverse her family's fortunes and the decline of the nobility in society. Not by doing anything herself, mind, but rather by trying to find an organization of nobles working to maintain the supremacy of the nobility. Finding them, she learned too late that they were secretly a society of wererats when she was forcibly made into one of them, but she quickly adapted, rising to command both the rat and wererat populations before finally unleashing a plague -- the Gnawing Plague -- upon the populace. Rather than converting the population into wererats, the Gnawing Plague just killed them, and when the people begged Jacqueline and the nobles for aid, Jacqueline made helpful noises but did nothing useful (it's not recorded if she uttered the words "Let them eat cake," as she watched the peasants die). Her 'torment' as a darklord is that she wants to return to the privileged life she had as a noblewoman, but can't, as the need to supervise the creation of new, more virulent plagues and unleash them to keep the peasantry from revolting and overthrowing the nobility prevents her from building the kind of society that would actually support a thriving nobility.

Instead of a domain where we have seen the future and humanity has no place in it, we have a one-percenter using every ounce of her privilege to stay above the ranks of the peasants she despises. Instead of an intelligent, ambitious planner capable of executing long-range goals flawlessly, we have a vapid, shallow socialite yearning to return to her days as a debutante. As villains go, Jacqueline has fallen a long, long way from her portrayal in pre-5E Ravenloft.

Probably the most offensive part of the redesign of Richemulot as 'the plague domain' is that we've spent over nineteen months living through a plague of our own, and the kind of horror that is presented as Richemulot's primary adventure cycle, the Cycle of the Plague, bears almost no resemblance to the reality we've lived through. Van Richten's Guide to Ravenloft presents a world where common people are to be feared, and authorities abuse their power to heartlessly quarantine the sick to stop the disease from overtaking everyone, yet say nothing about the horror of those who refuse to accept that the plague exists, or who profiteer from bizarre 'cures' and treatments. The designers present Richemulot as an example of 'disaster horror', where "the world has fallen into ruin -- or it's getting there fast," when the domain could be an example of the most classic of all horror tropes: humans are the most horrible of monsters.

Thus, the final quote leading this essay. It's not my place to argue that the folks who wrote Van Richten's Guide to Ravenloft are good or bad writers, and as Raymond Chandler noted, it's not really necessary. After all, "[t]he poor writer is dishonest without knowing it, and the fairly good one can be dishonest because he doesn't know what to be honest about." And ultimately this entire drive, to try to distance the product from the mistakes of the past by also distancing it from its successes, all while presuming that one can correct the deficiencies of the past without committing mistakes that, in hindsight, will seem just as obvious to our successors: that undertaking is fundamentally dishonest. The people writing, editing, and publishing Dungeons & Dragons today grew up on the old tropes that are now being rejected as no longer being relevant, as unnecessary complexity, as potentially harmful, without realizing that the harmful bits aren't just what was written down, but what was learned, such as a woman's motivation and agency meaning little unless they correspond with those of a man.

Yes, there's a lot of stuff published before 2014 that seems bad to us today that, for whatever reason, didn't seem bad to us back when it was published, read, and became part of our fictional worlds. But there's also no reason to assume that process ended in 2014. Update the lore where it's needed, but realize that the process never ends, even with the lore you're writing today to replace it.

#dnd

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bangtansfavwriter · 4 years

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- that's why it felt like a huge discovery to you bc this was probably the cutest book store you'd ever seen, with a very handsome guy sitting at a table in the front of the shop, between some peonies and dahlias that were planted in raised beds

- the guy was fixing something which you recognized as a ukulele when you walked past him and quickly made your way into the book shop, when you heard him grumble and say something like "broke it again..."

-you shook your head when you walked in and forgot about the angry ukulele guy when you got the first look at the superbly organized and clean shop with freaking bonsai trees literally everywhere you'd look

- there were 2 kids at the comic section, some youngsters revising something at one of the tables inside the shop and an old man reading a book next to a tabletop fountain

- as you made your way through the store you noticed something else that made the store even better than you thought, because whoever owned this shop was a salty but funny book nerd

- the book sections were titled in a rather unusual way.. to say the least. one section, for example, was called: "books you probably hate when you start reading but when you get to the end you have an existential crisis because of how good it was"

-you walked to the next section, already curious to see what was next and were surprised to see pretty much the entire bibliography of kafka right there in the "love him or hate him, you ain't him" and chuckled, because you too didn't know anyone with a neutral opinion on Kafka, people either loved him or hated him for his work

-you, however, loved him and apparently so did the person who put this section together

-you full on started laughing when you saw the section "kinda overrated, but suit yourself" and saw "romeo and juliet" displayed at the very front

- "guessing from you laughter, I'd assume you probably agree with me" you heard someone say behind you

- you turned around and zoned out for a sec, as you mustered the gorgeous man in front of you who had the sweetest dimples you'd ever seen

- "you know... I'll get shy if you stare any longer" he said with his deep voice and a slight smirk on his lips

- you snapped back into reality after he said that and quickly tried saving yourself because you already felt your cheeks burning, and you didn't want him to notice that

- "oh sorry, I suppose I was just startled. you're very tall, you know? kinda intimidating with all that... height.."

- he smiled and nodded and you mentally slapped yourself for this statement of yours

- "you're right, by the way, about romeo and juliet. absolutely overrated story about dramatic teens." you said and put the book back "did you come up with these categories?"

- "yeah, maybe it's a tad bit too personalized, but it's my humble opinion about some 'classics' the general public is trying to shove down our throats" he said

- "like 'old man and the sea'" you said and started laughing when he shot you a look of bewilderment

- "don't you dare insult hemingway in this household" he said, but started laughing himself after he said that

- "that was by far one of the most boring books I have ever read in my entire life!!"

"but it depicts the long struggle of the old man who faces his struggles and realizes how they ultimately become his-"

"boooring! and hemingway got a nobel peace prize for literature? for that writing? you should make a new category in your store - 'got prizes but at what cost (hint: my patience)'"

-he broke into laughter and you physically had to refrain yourself from poking his dimples

- your felt your blood rush into your head again when he shot you a beaming smile and said "maybe I should make a new category. 'controversial opinions from a gorgeous stranger' - how does that sound?"

- you quickly changed the subject, because his smooth answer actually made you flustered - something almost no one ever succeeded in

- "are these all your bonsai trees?" you said and walked some steps away from him, secretly hoping he'd follow and continue the conversation you were too shy to make a flirt out of

-"yes, cost me a lot of money and almost a friendship, but these are my babies."

-"this friendship... there was a rather angry looking guy sitting in front of your shop. does it have to do anything with him?" - "did he have a ukulele?" - "...yes." - "yeah that's him. jin hyung is mad at me because he helped me carry that big boy there (- he points at the biggest tree next to the check-out) and I obviously couldn't see what was around me and I accidentally kicked his ukulele. apparently it's broken now, I don't know." - you could somehow understand the flower-boy's anger but the book store guy was cute so: "he shouldn't have left around a damn ukulele then?? i mean?? "

- you giggled as he blurted out "I KNOW, RIGHT?" while wildly gesticulating in excitement about the fact that a stranger agreed with him

- you both went silent after laughing together, the tension didn't go unnoticed by neither of you. you remembered what he said to you earlier and had to suppress your smile. these couple minutes you spent with this stranger made you smile more often than you probably did this month altogether and you were aware of the fact that this is obviously something very special. but you just moved here and had to get adjusted to your new life in this city, would it really be sensible to get a new guy this quick? hell, he probably isn't even single, right? with these looks AND that height plus these dimples that you highkey wanted to kiss?

- he interrupted your train of thought by just clearing his voice, which you were incredibly thankful for, as you got very tongue-tied that moment:

"I should probably get back to work..."

-that was definitely not what you wanted to hear and you clearly couldn't hide your disappointment, bc his eyes widened all of a sudden and he started fidgeting nervously.

- "I should go, too, then..."

-that was not what he wanted to hear either... he sighed deeply and looked around quickly before softly pushing you into an aisle ("yearning 101")

- your breath hitched, his breathing became rapid too, as there were mere millimeters parting your lips from each other.. he gently ran his hands up your arms and you felt goosebumps all over your body. the only time his eyes left yours that moment was when he looked at your lips, that were more than eager to meet his at that moment. just as he was about to lean into you - "KIM NAMJOON! You owe me a new ukulele, you airhead!" was heard across the entire shop, followed by the front door slamming shut

-both of you stared at each other in shock before breaking into loud laughter

- "Oh my god, way to ruin the mood!"

You rubbed your sides that started aching from laughing so much. "You should go after your friend, you know" you said and could tell, by the look on his, that this was certainly not his priority at the moment. He scooted closer to you again. "Tell me your name, gorgeous." - "Y/N..." - He repeated your name with a hushed voice, as if he wanted to keep it a secret from the world. The mere melody of name leaving his lips affected both of you in a way, that you knew you had to explore further. "Say, Y/N... Any chance you might come along again tomorrow?" - "Most definitely" you replied with a smirk on your lips. "Oh, that's a relief. That'll bring me through the day and dealing with hyung. Maybe I'll even build a new section until you come back." You chuckled and looked at him. "Surprise me then, Namjoon~" you teased. "Maybe something like 'books to read all night because you thought of someone cute'?" - "'Books I randomly put together after I saw the cutest smile on earth" may be an option, I don't know" - "Oh, you're getting bold! 'Books I should have sorted instead of blatantly flirting with a customer'. What are you intentions, hmm?" you retorted sarcastically and slowly made your way to the door. You laughed as you saw the slightly offended look on his face. "Books I need to convince a sweetheart that I'm nothing like Joe Golberg!" - "Books how to learn to let people go and then go apologise to people!" (You two were now shouting through the store, the customers were confused but smiled at you two)

"books I will never read today because I'll see you tomorrow!" he yelled last, before you waved at each other with a smile and you left the store.

- Namjoon was growing more and more impatient the next day, as he jumped everytime he heard the door open, but each time it was some customer and not you. He ultimately starting losing hope and felt a little stupid for actually staying up late and creating a whole new section in the shop, hoping to show it to you as soon as possible. The mere thought of seeing you again made his heart race, that's why it was even more disappointing for him when it was almost time for him to close the shop and there was still no trace of you. He heard the door again and sighed very, very deeply, as an old man walked into the store who was one of the few people Namjoon actually despised, because of his overly-specific wishes. And, of course, the fact that he never actually bought a book. As his life energy was once again being sucked out by the most pointless conversation ever, he thought of you again. He wondered if something happened that made you change your mind. Was he too cocky? Did you think of him as some player who just flirted with each customer he found attractive? He sighed again. "Young man, you don't sigh in front of customers! Were you not taught any manners!". Namjoon, with his best customer service smile, tried to convince the man that it was just him, being absent-minded and that he didn't mean to offend him (even though he'd have every right to do so). In-between all the hassle, he didn't even hear that the door opened once again. It wasn't until you called out for him, that he noticed you finally were in the shop, with him. He stared at you with a blank expression on his face when you rushed towards him and immediately apologised for taking so long, which was because of the moving company being earlier than expected. Namjoon just stared at you while you rambled on, as did the old man. You apologised over and over again and then excused yourself when you finally realized that you probably interrupted Namjoon while he was talking to a customer. "Y/N!" he called after you. You turned around and looked at him with a quizzical look. "There's a new section in the back... Maybe you should check it out." You two smiled at each other, neither of you wanting to break your gaze. "Young man... I think I'm gonna take this book here. You can never go wrong with the classics" the old man said and grabbed 'The old man and the sea'. Namjoon did his very best not to laugh in his face, only did he now have a smile on his face that he absolutely could not hide at that moment. Two victories in one day. This day could only get better.

Meanwhile, you went to the very back of the shop, curious about what would expect you in the new section. A book joke again? One of the things you were talking about yesterday? You lost your train of thought when you noticed a section, that you didn't pass by yesterday. "My loneliness is killing me", with books by Dickinson and Poe at the very front, followed by "I must confess, I still believe" with romance novels all across the table, decorated with peonies he was growing in front of the shop. "The new section is in the next aisle, love" you heard Namjoon say behind you. You hesitated a bit, kind of overwhelmed with how fast you could feel everything developing. Yet, everything felt so right. "Go right ahead, I'm right here", he said reassuringly, as if he sensed your hesitation. You nodded and smiled at him. The most beautiful table in the entire shop awaited you in the next aisle. Inbetween beautiful bouquets and absolutely dashing table decorations were Shakespeare's sonnets and other love poems that were among your personal favourites as well. You looked at the section title, written on a card that was put into one bouquet.

"Books that will help me ask you out"

💕

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bluescreening · 4 years

Text

Practical GCSE Advice

Tips From A New Year 12 Who Somehow Got All 9s

Don’t worry, I’m not becoming a studyblr. I’m writing this on results day as a sort of farewell to GCSEs and to impart some “wisdom” upon the youngsters before I move on to A-levels. I’m going to keep this to specific, practical things you can do to improve, none of that vague nonsense. Subject-specific tips for maths, geography, triple science, language, literature, graphic comms and comp sci under the fold because this is too bloody long already.

General Tips:

Don’t go revision crazy. People will always emphasize revision, but so long as you’re revising effectively (see below) you’re safe to start revising about a month before mocks, and two months before your final exams. In terms of a revision schedule during those months, I worked with one or two hours per day, with a free day on Friday and Sunday.

Use apps to stay organised. Put your school timetable and exam dates in your calendar of choice with appropriate reminders and colour coding. To keep track of homework and revision, use Adapt - you can put in your GCSEs and it tracks which topics you have covered and how many times, as well as allowing you to input homework and your school timetable. During study time use Forest (free on Android) to lock yourself out of your phone for a certain amount of time.

Pay attention to lessons from the start. From the beginning of Year 10 every lesson is a GCSE lesson, and everything you learn could come up in an exam. Follow along with your teacher, make the best notes you can, do the work and understand the concepts as early as you can. You’ll thank yourself in a year as you watch the rest of your class wonder what a ribosome is when revision time comes.

Revise effectively. Use Adapt or a textbook to keep track of your confidence level on every topic, so when you’re revising you can focus on the ones you don’t understand whatsoever. Also, don’t just read stuff when revising. You have to train your brain to retrieve the information. Memorise vocabulary and basic facts using flashcards, then answer exam questions. Lots and lots of exam questions.

Use your teachers. They want you to succeed because it reflects well on them! If you don’t understand something after a lesson, pop back at break or lunch, or shoot them an email and they will help. Don’t just bank on it not showing up in the test because Sod’s Law dictates that it will. After Christmas in Year 11 they will often start revision sessions or intervention. Attend them for any subjects you’re even slightly shaky on. They’ll boost your grade like nothing else, even if it does take up some of your chill out time.

Buy textbooks and study materials through school. If your school offers you textbooks and workbooks it’s likely that will be the best deal for them, since they’re purchased in bulk. Grab all you can in Year 10 and talk to the school if you can’t afford many - they may be willing to help. If you know any higher-level teachers see if they have any sample study materials from CGP and the like. My English teacher gave me a lovely set of sample CGP Macbeth flashcards that would have proved really useful.

Make flashcards at the end of every topic. Stay on top of them. You want a term on one side and a definition on the other, or a quote and analysis etc. If you don’t like endless bits of card floating around use Quizlet - you might not even need to make them yourself as many people have shared GCSE flashcards there.

And finally - don’t forget you’re a human! Humans need regular sleep, healthy food including breakfasts, hydration, fun and social time. Make time in your day to take care of yourself. Your brain works better when you’re healthy so often an extra hour of sleep will do more for your grade than an extra hour of revision. Hanging out with your friends and keeping up with your hobbies reduces stress.

Feel free to ask me any questions you may have about any of this stuff, or if you just need advice I’m here too! I’ve done it before, I can help you out.

Subject Specific Tips:

Edexcel Maths:

Use CorbettMaths. All the time. If you haven’t done every one of his worksheets at least once you’re not grinding hard enough. Jk, but seriously this guy used to teach me in real life and he’s awesome. He makes flashcard packs, videos on every aspect of GCSE maths, daily challenges, textbook exercises, practice exam questions... literally everything you could ever need.

Practice everything until you’re sick of it, and then do ten more questions.

You’ll need to memorise some trig identities. Don’t memorise them as a table, that’s hard. Memorise them as these triangles, sketch them out in an exam and work it out on the spot. Easy.

AQA Geography:

Don’t goof off during your fieldwork. Don’t make the same mistake as me. If I ever had to do the fieldwork paper I would not have got a 9. Even though it’s a field trip, even though you’re with your friends, this will directly impact your GCSEs and you need to treat it like an exam.

Memorise vocabulary then move onto exam questions. Geography is very formulaic and exam questions repeat themselves - take advantage of that.

Memorise. Your. Case. Studies.

AQA Biology, Chemistry and Physics:

A l l h a i l f r e e s c i e n c e l e s s o n s .

Practice those reading comprehension questions where you’re presented with information and have to answer questions about them. A surprising amount of people get overwhelmed because they haven’t revised it. You can’t! You have to read and understand it within the exam.

Memorise your bloody equations for physics or you will fail. Use Quizlet, learn them all by the end of year 10 even if you don’t know what they’re about yet, practice using them.

Buy the CGP workbooks and complete them! Make sure to buy the answers too, because CGP are scammers.

AQA English Language and Literature:

Identify 10-20 brief quotes from each piece of literature so you have a few for each character and theme. They can overlap! Also, memorise the author’s intentions for each one. With poems (for those of you who have to do them... I’m not salty, I promise) ask your teacher to recommend 5 that match up with the most themes and memorise 3 quotes from each. Remember to analyse the rest of the poems too - any of them could come up so it’s good to have an understanding.

Memorise structures for every question. The examiners will tell you not to use structures. Shut up, I got all 9s. Structures are the best way for slow writers to ensure they get everything they need to in. TETAAC (topic, evidence, terminology, analysis, alternative interpretation, context) works for lit essays and can be modified for every other question. Work out how many paragraphs you can write in 40 minutes and take that into account when planning. Once the plan is done it’s just a matter of making it sound frilly. English: hacked. My normal plan for a lit essay is a one-sentence thesis statement for an intro, 3xTETAAC paragraphs and a conclusion which reiterates everything but better.

Don’t worry if your grade is terrifyingly low to begin with. That’s just how English rolls. You’ll slowly develop the skills you need and start to make 3 or 4 grades of progress throughout year 11.

OCR Art and Design - Graphic Communication:

Think long and hard about whether you want to do graphics or fine art, if your school offers both. Graphics is designing logos, fine art is whatever you want. I should have taken fine art in retrospect.

Make as much work as possible from the very start, even if you haven’t decided on your portfolio project yet. Everything, and I mean everything, can be shoehorned. If you make a lot of work you have some leeway and can leave out your early stuff so your overall portfolio looks better.

Annotate as you go and store all your thoughts digitally. Even if you have no clue what you’re supposed to write in annotations, put down your thought process. It’s easy to tidy up something you wrote a year ago, but it’s really hard to stare at a letter F made out of newspaper and remember where on earth you were going with it.

To make enough work you will need to stay after school often and give up a lot of lunch times. That’s just how it goes. At least with the right crew it can be fun - the combo of my friends and the very chaotic art teachers at my school made my Thursday graphics sessions something to look forward to.

OCR Computer Science:

Use Quizlet flashcards to memorise terms. Being able to correctly define terms is half the battle, literally. You’ll basically get an instant 9 on the first paper if you memorise every term defined in the textbook. Luckily, someone beautiful and generous by the name of sporkified (wink wink) on Quizlet has created two sets with everything you need to know for the entire qualification.

Practice programming in your chosen language before your programming project starts. Learn to do everything mentioned in the textbook and try it out on a sample project. Many will tell you to not bother about the programming project, it doesn’t matter. That’s true to some extent, but excelling in the programming project can tip you up a grade as well as making the algorithm questions on paper 2 easier for you.

Take part in Cyber Discovery. Give it a Google, sign up. It’s really hard if you have no practical computer experience but doing it gave me a real edge with paper 2 which is where you want to focus your energy as it’s weighted more. Also it’s fun.

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miami-panda · 4 years

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I was re-reading my post about my SS theory and it got me thinking

(this is another Sander Sides post; obviously, spoilers ahead, if you haven’t caught up with the series in a while go do that first and THEN come back. also, fair warning: this post is gonna be long, lol)

I mentioned in my theory about why Roman got so upset in the last episode (POF - Putting Others First) that Roman was like the ego, as in Freudian psychology. And that got me thinking: if Roman is the ego, who is the id and the superego? And is Roman the only part of the ego? To answer this question, I needed to look up the definitions of all three. They are as follows (according to alleydog.com, a super reliable website when it comes to psychology vocabulary):

Id - “the part of the human personality that is made up of all our inborn biological urges that seeks out immediate gratification (guided by the Pleasure Principle), regardless of social values or consequences.”

Superego - the part of the human personality that “acts as our moral guide and mediates between the id and the ego. The superego contains the conscience, which makes us feel guilty for doing or thinking something wrong and good when we do something right.”

Ego - “the part of personality that helps us deal with reality by mediating between the demands of the id, superego, and the environment. The ego prevents us from acting on every urge we have (produced by the id) and being so morally driven that we can't function properly.”

So based on these definitions, I would revise my previous statement: in Freudian psychology, Roman would absolutely NOT be the ego. In a non-Freudian sense, yes, Roman is the ego of Thomas: “a person's sense of self-esteem or self-importance” (google), but it is factually incorrect to say that Roman would be part of the Freudian ego.

If Roman isn’t the ego, then what is he? THE ID (why I didn’t see this before I have no idea)! The id is the part of the personality that deals with instant gratification, and has all of our biological urges. Think about Moving On: when Thomas said his ex was calling him back, Roman instantly switched from apologizing to “PICK IT UP! PICK IT UP!” even though he knew the repercussions of what he was doing. It was a very instinctual move; almost an like an urge, if you will. Roman isn’t the only part of the id tho; his brother, Remus, is as well. Remus would do and say things that were completely against societal values and without thinking about any consequences. I’d argue that Remus is even more a part of the id than Roman, but they both exemplify the same qualities.

Patton is a part of the superego, unsurprisingly. Patton is the primary side that deals with Thomas’ moral issues, and also the main side that makes Thomas feel guilty for doing something wrong. The whole point of POF as well as DWIT was that Patton was being way too strict in a moral sense, and making Thomas feel overly guilty for every bad thing he did, but Patton isn’t the only one who does that. Virgil is also a part of the superego, although to a much more extreme and generally more pessimistic point of view; however, they are both two sides of the same coin. So in a way, you COULD say that Patton and Virgil are like father and son, as they both have similar functions, and because Virgil represents a singular emotion (anxiety) while Patton represents several (happiness, sadness..etc). You could also argue that Virgil also somewhat represents the ego; he tends to switch back and forth, depending on who else is in the episode. As an example: in DWIT, he was much more like the superego, both he and Patton agreeing that the thoughts Thomas was having were “wrong” (initially). But in Moving On, he tended to be more of a mediator; this was especially true when Logan left. But generally speaking, Virgil is a part of the superego, as well as Patton.

So then that leaves the ego, and the two sides that are a part of it: Logan and Janus. Think about it: both have mediated conversations between all the other sides, and argued in favor for or against certain arguments. Logan is the obvious example: in DWIT (I’m using that video quite a lot because there’s several examples), he calmed down Virgil and Patton, telling them they were being too hard on Thomas (superego), while simultaneously bringing down Remus a few hundred notches (id), thus making him the mediator of the siutation. Logan has also done this in countless other videos: Accepting Anxiety, a small part of POF, some of Moving On (both when he was there and also when he was speaking through Thomas), Are There Healthy Distractions...etc etc etc.

Then of course our snake boy, Janus. His part of the ego wasn’t nearly as clear to see until POF, but he really was the main mediator between the superego (Patton) and the id (Roman). He also represents understanding every side of a situation and, like Logan, has a full understanding of every side of an issue and is therefore very well equipped to be a part of the ego.

Like I mentioned earlier, Virgil can be the ego, but he’s primarily a part of the superego. Along with this, Janus could be considered a part of the superego, but as of POF, he’s more a part of the ego than anything. I get the feeling that this is part of the reason that he and Virgil are dubbed “the others” (Virgil’s words) - they are more complex than the main three, can tiptoe into another area when the time arises. The only reason Virgil and Janus are dubbed the “dark sides” (Roman’s words) is, I think, because of Remus. But even then, Virgil, Janus, and Remus aren’t “evil,” as Roman’s naming suggests, just like how the “light sides” aren’t always good. But I digress.

In short, Roman and Remus are the id, Virgil and Patton are the superego, and Logan and Janus are the ego, at least in a Freudian sense.

Thanks for coming to my TED talk. Also, @thatsthat24 and @thejoanglebook along with everyone else who helps write this series: I don’t know if this is something that was intentional, but either way, you and everyone else who writes this series are literally geniuses and I applaud you.

#sanders sides #sanders sides theory #thomas sanders #thomas sanders and friends #holy moly #this took way too long #totally worth it though #logan sanders #patton sanders #roman sanders #remus sanders #janus sanders #virgil sanders #sander side #sander sides fan theory

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newmayhem · 4 years

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Character analysis: Aubrey (Part 1)

Because this post heavily refers to direct quotations from the author and the OG text, I’ll stick calling everyone by their original names throughout (as I usually do when I’m talking specifically about the original iteration and in quotations). But elsewhere on the site, I typically refer to everyone by different names in all other situations.

Aubrey is both easier and harder to pin down than either Risika or Alexander. He gets a decent amount of screentime in ITFOTN both DIMV. Whereas in ITFOTN we’re seeing him exclusively through Risika’s pov, DIMV is narrated in the 3rd person so we also get to see him more objectively, and because he’s more of a hero in that book, we get to see a different side of him.

Still, what’s going to make him slightly harder to articulate is that his motives in ITFOTN have never been explicitly spelled out in the text, and we also never got to see his pre-vampire history so we don’t really know what shaped him.

I’m going to split his character analysis into three sections- Aubrey’s motives re: Risika/ITFOTN, Aubrey’s personality/worldview according to the og text, and a (re)imagining/reverse engineering of Aubrey’s’ personal history.

Motives

It seems a little backwards to start with looking at his motivations, but this being Risika’s story, it makes the most sense to examine Aubrey in relation to Risika. For me, the most interesting part is trying to figure out exactly why he keeps popping up in Risika’s narrative. It’s never covered in the og text, and that makes sense because this is being told from Risika’s pov and she doesn’t care about Aubrey’s motivations, only about the disastrous results of them. Which is more than fair, tbh.

Like I said, we don’t get any explanation of Aubrey’s motives in ITFOTN, but we do get clues in DIMV as well as some Word of God statements from ahar, and the excerpts from Black Flame (an unpublished TDOS story from Aubrey’s POV).

Quotes From Chapter 10 of Demon in My View:

More than her physical appearance, Jessica had a rare aura of strength about her. Aubrey remembered Ash Night's describing him as having the same kind of aura while he had been human, but he had seen it in very few others. Risika had been one of the exceptions; that strength had drawn Aubrey to her before she had ever caught Ather's eye.

And you can read these two excerpts from Black Flame on the Nyeusigrube-haven blog, which archives quotes, fanart, clips, and words of god about The Den of Shadows series. I’ll reblog them later just so I have a copy on hand.

From a blog post of ahar’s entitled Perspectives from 9/3/15:

“When it comes to Aubrey's and Risika's complex relationship, In the Forests of the Night is only half the story. Someday, I would love to release a revised and extended version that includes Aubrey's point of view in addition to Risika's. Here are a few details it might include:

Pandora had claimed Alexander as a student; he had attacked Ather, and she had decided to retaliate by killing Alexander's sister Rachel. Why didn't she? Who do you think convinced her it would be better to change Rachel into a vampire instead of killing her?

After her change, when Risika was weak due to her refusal to feed, who convinced her that she needed to hunt?

Who finally baited her into fighting him, proving her strength and taking her rightful place as a force to be reckoned with among her own kind?

Aubrey has been around a couple thousand years. Do you think it's more likely he's stupid, or more likely that he's manipulative? Rachel never wanted to be a vampire, and maybe would have preferred death at Ather's hands back in 1704 (Did I get that date right? I don't have the text in front of me) but long-story-short: Aubrey saw her first, had his options limited by Ather's bloodclaim... and didn't want Rachel dead.

Try rereading In the Forests of the Night sometime with this point of view.”

And most recently (3/2/20, to be exact), ahar posted some more details in the Nyeusigrube discord server (in the Den Of Shadows channel) under the username Nesrerai (Note that I made some formatting edits to make it more readable. No edits to the content have been made).:

“Someday I'd love to rewrite an "extended edition" of In the Forests of the Night showing more of the back-story. I wrote some of it out in an Aubrey background/POV book that was TERRIBLE and shall never see the light of day but was good for author-knowledge.

Key event relevant to this conversation was that Alexander attacked Ather. Ather couldn't kill him because he was Pandora's, but that didn't protect Rachel, so she planned to go after Rachel in retaliation. Aubrey encouraged her to change her instead, as a more effective form of punishment for Alexander, because he didn't want Rachel killed. Aubrey is more powerful than Ather, but she had blood claim on the family so he had to go manipulative instead of direct.

He was tracking Rachel before Ather got involved. He has a sorcery background, and has an interest in the powerful but untrained. Also, she's Jager's lover's daughter, so he was keeping an eye out. If I recall my notes/drafts right, he was more or less at the "I wonder whether it's more trouble with Jager and Lila than it's worth if I mess with this family" stage. Keeping the kids safe was kiiiiiiind of part of the deal that kept Lila in line ... which is why Mayhem burned down shortly after Rachel was first there... which in turn put Mayhem/Silver's line in a vulnerable position while they were trying to gain power, so they hired a spoiler to knock Midnight down a peg.”

Findings To avoid redundancies, I’ll list out all of the findings and then cite the specific sources in brackets:

Aubrey has a very different version of how ITFOTN went down (i.e., he did not see himself as Risika’s antagonist). [BF; blog]

Aubrey was a sorcerer when he was a human, so he’s always had an interest in those who were very powerful but untrained -> he was drawn to Risika because he saw a rare aura of strength around her, one that he himself had as a human. [DIMV; discord]

Risika had initially caught Aubrey’s attention and he had been tracking her well before Ather ever got involved. [DIMV; BF; blog; discord]

Ather initially wanted to kill Rachel, but Aubrey was the one who convinced Ather to change her into a vampire instead. [BF; blog; discord]

Aubrey was trying to help Risika all along [blog]

Aubrey manipulated Risika into drinking from her stepmother in order to show her that she needs to hunt/feed regularly.[blog]

He got frustrated when he pushed her down and she didn’t get up right away. [ITFOTN]

Aubrey purposefully provoked Risika into fighting him (in public) with the intention of getting her to prove her strength and take her rightful place as a force to be reckoned with among their kind. [blog]

Aubrey was considering changing Risika himself (among other options that didn’t involve her dying) [BF; blog (implied)]

Aubrey didn’t want Risika dead [BF; blog; discord]

Aubrey saw it as a plus that Ather would take the blame for changing Risika. [BF]

Aubrey knew that Alexander was still alive and actively conspired with Pandora to keep the twins apart so that Alexander wouldn’t interfere. [BF]

Aubrey argued with Alexander when he came looking for Risika, meaning that up to present day, he was still trying to keep them apart. [ITFOTN]

*It’s also worth noting that in a facebook video, ahar confirms that Aubrey has a lot of respect for Risika

There are also some other findings in the discord post re:Lila Light, but that’s tangential and I’ll be covering those in a separate post.

Questions Basically, Aubrey was drawn to Risika for reasons unrelated to the situation with Ather (namely, her strength). He’s heavily invested in Risika’s survival to the point where he was actively manipulating the situation both in the initial stage of having Ather change her instead of kill her, and then later on in trying to help her. Not only did he want Risika to survive, he also wanted her to ‘take her rightful place as a force to be reckoned with among her own kind’.

But we’re left with the overall question- what was Aubrey’s endgame? This effort was clearly very calculated, time consuming, and required a lot of effort and attention (I mean, how did he seem to always know where to find her? And how did he know she hadn’t been feeding regularly?). So how did Aubrey see any of this benefiting him?

So we know that Aubrey was drawn to Risika’s strength/power/potential, but to what end? Based on the blog post, Aubrey was considering a few different options for Risika before Ather’s bloodclaim forced his hand. What were those options? We know he was considering changing her himself, but again, to what end? Was she meant to be part of some larger plan he had? Clearly, she was important enough for him to go out of his way to manipulate Ather into not killing her.

Possible Explanations The least exciting explanation, I think, would be that Aubrey wanted to sire a strong fledgeling...for the clout? I mean, it happens! Ather does it, but she does it out of necessity- Aubrey doesn’t need strong fledgelings to protect him or scare off his enemies. And the fact that he saw having Ather change Risika as a preferable result implies that he just wanted Risika to be changed regardless of whether it was by him or not. Which is also interesting.

Another explanation could be that Aubrey planned to use Risika’s powers (or her potential powers) for his own personal gain. This seems very unlikely. I can’t picture a plausible scenario for this and even if this were the case, it doesn’t make sense that he would keep treating Risika the way that he does, knowing that it alienates her. I also find it hard to believe that he’d wait three centuries for her to come around rather than move on to other targets.

Additionally, Aubrey was setting Risika up to ‘take her rightful place as a force to be reckoned with among her own kind’...and that would effectively set her up as his competition, which is the exact opposite of his goal if we were to go with this possibility.

A similar but slightly more plausible explanation is that Aubrey was ‘recruiting’ on behalf of Silver’s line. We know that Mayhem at the time was in an intense rivalry with Midnight, so they’d probably be in need of strong fledgelings. Word of God has also mentioned that Silver’s line is one of the least prolific because they are serious about only siring the strongest. It tracks that Aubrey came across Risika and her unusual strength/power, and saw that she was the perfect candidate. That could be why he was not only ok with Ather changing her (rather than him doing it himself), but he also took responsibility for Risika survival and ‘education’ after she was changed. Maybe he wanted Risika changed no matter the cost because they couldn’t afford any lines loyal to Midnight getting to her first.

But if this were the case, why was Aubrey the only one looking out for Risika? Why would he still try to convince her to prove herself centuries after? And if siring and training new powerful fledgelings who would fight for Silver’s line was a priority at the time, why were there no other fledglings during this time period? Generally, this just seems like a very flawed and inefficient plan. Training fledgelings takes time and energy that could be better used to fight Midnight directly and, as we see in Risika’s case, their loyalty isn’t even guaranteed.

Conclusion This may seem like a cop out...but I feel like in this case, we’ll have to go Occam's razor. The answer that seems the least complicated- so uncomplicated that I haven’t even mentioned it until now- is that Aubrey feels some type of affection for Risika.

This might not necessarily be romantic or anything like that (though that’s definitely a possibility). It could just be that he recognizes some of himself in her and feels a sense of kinship, but it’s obvious that Aubrey cares a lot about what happens to Risika. He wants her to succeed and repeatedly goes out of his way to keep tabs on her and help her even if it inconveniences him, even if it puts his own status at risk (I don’t think he planned on losing the fight, but he must’ve known that in order for her to come out of it looking good, he would’ve to win by a much smaller margin than normal for him). He didn’t care if she hated him and never realized that this was all to help her, it was more important to him that she survived and thrived. And he was willing to do all this over the span of centuries.

The big counter-argument for this is that in ITFOTN, Aubrey does say “Remember this, Risika—I have no love for you. I think you are weak, and I don't care about your morals. If you challenge me again, you will lose.” But for me, his actions speak louder than words, and it makes sense that because he’s trying to get her to be tougher and to fight back so that she could survive, he’s not going to be gentle with her or let her expect help from him. And, I mean, he could’ve killed her right then and there if he wanted to, but he actually let her get away with a lot (she called him a lap dog, slapped him, spat on him, broke his knee cap, and lived to tell the tale).

Anyway, the beauty of this explanation is that it would be really interesting to explore, but won’t get too convoluted. I think it would be really interesting to go deeper into:

Possible parallels between Aubrey and Risika.

The dramatic irony of Aubrey’s well-intentioned efforts contrasted with Risika’s perception of them.

Aubrey as a foil for Alexander and a rival for influence over Risika (and how Risika breaks free from both of them in the end).

Aubrey’s feelings regarding how terribly received his ‘help’ has been and why he keeps choosing to help her regardless.

How it’s also kind of messed up that Aubrey decided that he knew what was best for her and mercilessly imposed that on her despite her clear lack of consent (or knowledge).

The nature of Aubrey’s affection for Risika, how it compares to Alexander’s, and if/how it has evolved.

This is probably beyond the scope of this rewrite, but I’d also be interested in some sort of ‘deleted scene’ type epilogue where Aubrey and Risika (post-fight) have a real conversation/confrontation about all this.

#In the Forests of the Night #amelia atwater rhodes #Nyeusigrube #Den of Shadows #aubrey x risika #aubrey #characters #Andros #character analysis

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kob131 · 4 years

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https://rwbyconversations.tumblr.com/post/626550438587678720/the-scarlet-letter-lets-talk-about-rwbys-male

Can’t even say I stan RT since I helped in developing your own break in RT’s abusive business practices.

So let’s start with a blunt statement: RWBY’s male LGBT representation has not been good. If the series’ handling of female LGBT rep is good (which… well there’s worse shows) and the general standard for how you write LGBT characters in a show like this, its handling of male rep has been… how not to. And Before the Dawn kinda solidified the idea in my head that the show’s handling of its male LGBT cast just isn’t good enough, either by the standards of when RWBY began in 2013, or today in 2020 when compatively massive steps have been taken over the past decade to show a more diverse list of characters… or at least a more diverse list of female characters.

So how do you make good male LGBT representation? If we’re talking about how something is done badly, you’d think some ground rules would be established. ... Yeah, he never does that.

It’s big romance is (unless the writers are very stupid) going to be between Blake and Yang, their first out character was Ilia, Coco got sent to the Book Dimension where she confirmed “I use my sunglasses to perv on women without their knowledge” which uh… yeah you can definitely tell RWBY is written by men… and Volume 6 had Saph and Terra being a good example of an LGBT couple without any real drama. In the last three years alone, the show has drastically increased its lesbian and bisexual characters, alongside even including its first out trans character in May Marigold (albeit only revealed on Twitter). In general, these depictions of sexuality have been pretty OK. Would have liked it if Ilia wasn’t immediately written out of the show after Volume 5 as it made her feel a bit more disposable than intended but whatever, subject for another day.

A. What examples do we have of Bumbleby being canon? One or two animation things and voice actors? Cool, when’s White Knight becoming canon.

B. I’ve heard Barbara say similar shit. Acting like that’s a male thing is fucking sexist.

C. I’m sorry but by every single standard of LGBT writing I’ve heard-wouldn’t they be considered tokens and flat caricatures? Since they’re so irrelevant and have so little character? They’re barely even characters INCLUDING their kid.

Sorry but considering how there’s no ground rules made for what is good LGBT rep- I can only go off what others have said. And so many, OVERWHLEMINGLY MANY, people have said Saphron and Terra aren’t good.

D. Okay the Illa thing is yet another example of why ground rules need to be set. Saphron and Terra BOTH are written out in Volume 6 so wouldn’t they get chewed out too? What makes Illa getting written out different or more disposable?

RWBY’s male rep though is a bit spottier. There’s the plant bois in Volume 5’s premiere, we nearly had Pilot Boi until some last-minute revisions, and… Scarlet.

Look about the same as the female LGBT audience to me. Why is this so bad?

“Why Scarlet’s a bad launchpad for male LGBT rep”

I don’t like Scarlet or how his sexuality has been handled. Scarlet’s homosexuality wasn’t revealed in the show, or by the writers, or even in anything that’s actually canon. He’s confirmed gay in his sole of dialogue in a non-canon fan anthology, where the manga’s Twitter team had to say that Miles suggested the idea and approved of it.

In short, Scarlet is Dumbledore’d, where his sexuality is revealed in out-of-show material and in a way that doesn’t make it supremely obvious (Miles himself never commented to confirm this so this news was limited in how far it could spread. I’m genuinely curious how many people still don’t know Scarlet’s gay), and Scarlet himself is a nothing character who was written out of the show after Volume 3 and only reappeared in Before The Dawn, half a decade after he vanished. Compared to Ilia, as this came out after Ilia’s entire arc in Volume 5, it’s not a great starting point for mlm rep. But things would have been forgiven if it had gotten better, if the show did have more male LGBT characters introduced, even just on the Saphron/Terra level of just being around for a few episodes before leaving. Then it would have been a misfire but then we could all say “Things got better.”

Why should I care?

See, part of the job of a critic is to make the problems understandable to the audience. I emphasized ground rules because it gives the reader a base level understanding of what constitutes as good in this case. Why should I think Scarlet is bad when Saphron and Terra are on the same level and you said they were at least acceptable?

It… didn’t. Which is why when Before the Dawn released in 2020, a full two years after Scarlet was first confirmed gay, while the franchise had more than doubled its wlw rep, Scarlet remained the one male character in the entire franchise who had a name and liked men. I remember vividly a fake leak for After The Fall which claimed Yatsuhashi would come out to Velvet and admit to having a crush on Fox. And I remember as well how many people were disappointed when it was said to be false, because it would have been nice for Yatsuhashi’s character, especially after the fleshing out he gets in the CFVY books. If Yatsu had come out as gay in the books I’d like his writing enough to say he’s a good case for rep, albeit with the caveat of “This is all in side material.” But in reality, the leak was fake and Coco was confirmed gay instead.

I remember the same leak. Yatsuhashi also disappeared at the same time and even if he was fleshed out-he’s still irrelevant to the show so wouldn’t he be bad? And if it’s about having fleshed out characters, why did Illa whose a fully realized character get shaded while effective background characters praised?

Unfortunately, Before the Dawn proceeded to ruin Scarlet and made me at times feel genuinely uncomfortable as a queer man! Let’s talk about that.

And people said the same about Saphron and Terra and people get backlash for praising them over other lesbian characters.

I hate Before the Dawn. It’s… bad. I read it while on a vacation and the only solace I had about the entire thing was that I’d bought an M&M chocolate bar. The bar was finished before the book. That bummed me out. It’s not a very well written book, the prose is very Early 2010s YA Writer, none of the characters are memorable and there’s various Fun Incidents like “NGDO using children as bait for Grimm,” and “Neptune’s hydrophpobia being used as a threat to torture him and the scene is played for comedy.”

A. NDGO is repeatedly shown to be massive assholes in the book.

And B. I can’t really find anything wrong there. In one of my favorite shows, Justice League Unlimited, criminals get threatened with actual torture and even death and it’s treated as a joke. Yeah the context is different in that the victim are criminals but both the villains and Neptune get over it so quickly I see no real problem here. Especially since Jaune’s own low self worth was a joke up to Volume 5.

Theo was cool. I can’t wait to see him as written by good writers, he should be a highlight of the Vacuo arc.

Don’t go blaming E.C. Myers for this- Miles and Kerry helped. You’d have to call them shit writers too.

I had two hopes for Before the Dawn- “Don’t be bad,” and “Let Scarlet and Sage be well written.” I’d liked how After The Fall had handled some of its characters (barring, y'know, Coco perving on women), especially Fox and Yatsu who were surprising in how much I liked them. I was looking forward to seeing Myers give Sage and Scarlet similar treatment- two relatively nothing characters meant he’d have a blank slate to write them however he wanted, he could give them unique personalties and if nothing else it could be cool to see their Semblances.

You know how frustrating it is to see people blame Miles and Kerry for shit that Monty had a hand in and may have even been responsible for?

Yeah well we finally found the flipped version-

Miles and Kerry worked with Myers on the book. Just as Monty is just as much at fault as Miles and Kerry, they’re just as much at fault as Myers.

And then I read the book. (Sage fans I am so sorry for you, you got baited harder than Johnlock fans)

I thought we were talking about male LGBT rep.

Scarlet’s a giant dickhead in the book. It’s his sole character trait and his inner monologues go on, and on, and on about how much he hates Sun, how he revels in mocking him. Most of his dialogue is sarcastic put-downs about Sun and how lame he is, and Sun is never properly allowed to defend himself or point out how going with Blake meant he was able to help save Haven Academy.

You mean like how character criticized Yang for being so reckless even though she was trying to save Blake?

It shouldn’t matter what the intent or results are- Sun and Yang still did bad things and affected the people around them. They should be criticized, especially Sun here since A. He’s still doing it in the book, B. He hasn’t had any real flaws in the show which means his dynamics and interaction are limited and C. This addresses what people bitched at him about in Volumes 4 and 5 thus robbing them of the excuse to chew him out anymore.

(hey remember when Sun in Volume 6 expressly says to Blake “I was a bad leader for ditching Neptune and the others, and I need to work on that” only for Before the Dawn to have him staunchly refuse to accept that he let the team down? I don’t think Myers did but I do)

Remember how characters in RWBY don’t always learn their lesson, especially when it’s related to mental issues like...say....losing their parents and trying to run from their problems?

Also remember how MILES AND KERRY ALSO HELPED WRITE THAT BOOK?

Scarlet being a ratty bitch would be one thing if, again, the franchise had done more rep. He’d still be a badly written character, but it wouldn’t sting as much. But because Scarlet is still the only expressly confirmed male LGBT character in canon (the book teases that Nolan is gay but there’s never confirmation either way beyond him smiling at Scarlet), it means that he has to represent that entire ideal. So when the one gay man in Remnant is being an asshole and a snide loser, that means that by extension, this is how the franchise sees gay men. And that fucking sucks! I wanted to come out of Before The Dawn singing its praises, I wanted to like the book, but it was a massive letdown, especially coming off of the other big 2020 RWBY controversy involving gay characters.

Fun fact: LGBT people can be assholes.

In fact, Scarlet would be the ONLY LGBT character to be snide in the show. Kind of makes him unique in that regard. ...If he was an asshole in canon. When in canon, he’s portrayed as hurt and bitter over Sun’s repeated irresponsibility and doing what anyone would do in his situation.

So honestly, he’s pretty fucking human which I would praised BEYOND being LGBT.

Yeah. We’re doing this.

Remember, you choose to do all this.

Clover and Fair Game: Technically not queerbaiting. BUT:

But nothing. Once again, without any ground rules for what you constitute as ‘queerbaiting’- I only have myself to rely on. And just about every serious definition says Queerbaiting is baiting LGBT rep or pairings to get people to watch the show.

Issue? Not only was Fair Game not used to promote the show, there are other LGBT characters in RWBY. You can’t be queerbaited anymore than a straight person can be ‘straightbaited’ (We’ll be getting into SO MUCH MORE than this later...).

Let’s pre-empt this: Clover wasn’t queerbaiting, and Fair Game, while cool and I dig it, kudos to them for becoming one of the top 5 RWBY pairings on AO3 in one year that’s fucking impressive (I say with mild malice as an IronQrow main), never had a chance. The writing never seriously boosted it barring one interaction which was flirty (them talking in the lobby of the Schnee Manor), and everything else was out of show boosting through the social media teams and CRWBY hyping it themselves by saying they liked it. If you wanna blame people, blame the animators who went off-script with stuff like Kim Newman adding the wink as a deliberate nod to the Volume 4 waitress, or the social media team deliberately using the same policies for Fair Game as they do for Renora and Bumblebee.

So nothing I should give a shit about since marketing teams often work detached from the actual product and are notoriously CUTTHROAT.

It wasn’t Eddy’s fault that things escalated, and he himself has said that in retrospect, he should have warned people that this never had a shot.

But I can’t blame the Fair Game fanbase. Because Fair Game took off like wildfire. It came right as the fanbase began seriously asking for more male rep, Qrow’s pretty hot, and the Clover wink came right after the Great IronQrow Reawakening of November 9th, 2019. The rocket was primed, and they rode it to the moon. Finally, to these people, after seven years RWBY seemed to be doing something with mlm rep in show. People started getting into RWBY just for Clover and Qrow’s interactions. And if heroes were boring, Watts and Tyrian also had a fantastic dynamic that made Nuts and Volts one of the more popular villain ships overnight. Things seemed to be turning around! RWBY was remembering that gay men existed! You could hear the choir sing!

... You JUST said that show didn’t bolster the ship aside from one interaction (one that pales to the shit I use to say in private to fuck with people). It was obviously NOT meant to be a serious component of the show. If people got into a show for something it was never meant to stick to- it’s their own fault for when that part falls away.

… And for those people, that meant that episode 12 hit like Truck-Kun.

People got pissed. People were horrified. And it didn’t help that some members of CRWBY had said in the build-up that episode 12 would have some shots that made them nauseous (probably the Tyrian thumb thing) Out of context, it looked to these fans like CRWBY were basically laughing at their suffering, like they were saying “Lol, you thought you had a chance, get fucked, I hope your vomit burns on the way up.”

Yeah, Fair Game was never gonna be canon, and I think some people ran too far with it. But in the wider context of how desperate RWBY’s mlm community had gotten for basic crumbs of content? I can see why they’d run with what they had. The writers aren’t at fault for what happened, but CRWBY didn’t help matters. And that desperate mix of what felt like official backing from the crew, jokes about how cute the ship was, and the hope that finally the show would have onscreen rep? I can see why people ran with it.

Ah huh ah huh ah huh-

Now do that for the first three Volumes of the show with a bigger fan favorite, more build up and kill one half of it off at the end of the show’s big dark turn while the creators are even MORE unsympathetic.

Sorry but when compared to Arkos, this looks fucking minscule. And you invoked the Arkos comparison due to the numerous parallels. And just like with the Arkos fans, I’ll disregard this without a second thought.

‘But Mlm are STARVED for content-’

Then go somewhere else. I’ve been saying this to your Wlw AND Straight counterparts for years. You are not entitled to have ‘a meal’. The show didn’t advertise in universe around rep- That is not the point. This is like saying you hate nachoes because it dares to have chips instead of more toppings.

So why is the show more lackluster in depicting mlm characters?

I don’t think you ever answered that the question ‘is the show’s mlm lackluster?’ because you spent a third of this post talking about something you basically admit doesn’t count.

Money. Let’s be honest, most RWBY fans don’t care if the show doesn’t have good male rep. I’m willing to bet some of you reading this won’t care and just dismiss it as not being that big a problem.

I dismiss all the romance related shit as not being that big of a problem, so what?

I don’t think the writers care if the show doesn’t have good mlm rep because they’re not poaching that market. They’re after what they see as a bigger, more lucrative market, which in this case is female LGBT rep. That gets people buying games, watching shows, raising awareness and boosting awareness of your property, which means you make more money. In short: Two women kissing hits more markets and generates more attention than two men.

I’d believe that if not for the fact that there is barely any lesbian merch for RWBY, which would be the key way to cash in on that market and squeeze them for as much money as possible. In fact, there’s barely ANY shipping merch from Rooster Teeth. Rather unusual if they’re trying to cash in on a market.

‘Well what’s YOUR explanation?’

Easy: Misandry and moving goalposts.

Guys notoriously get shat on in the fandom more than women. Jaune is STILL being called a spotlight stealing MAry Sue and numerous people are siding against Ironwood because he’s a man. So making good male LGBT rep would just be inviting more pipe bombs in the mail.

And a large amount of people like to claim RWBY has yet to give GOOD female LGBT rep, constantly raising the bar to get what they want. And considering they make up the original hatedom in the show- they naturally hold more power.

Tl;Dr- You fucked yourselves out of good male rep by having male characters having any focus whatsoever be a death sentence.

Am I saying that Miles, Monty and Kerry deliberately sat down seven years ago and said “We’re not doing gay men because it won’t generate enough ad revenue and traffic to be worth the loss in revenue from homophobes?” No, that’s silly. But I’m saying that it’s less important for them, and it shows in the things that are small and add up. Things like Miles not verifying Scarlet’s sexuality or retweeting the manga account’s confirmation to spread the message (compared to how he enthusiastically confirmed Ilia being a lesbian himself during the Reddit AMA). It shows in how Pilot Boi would have been the first mlm character only to die in his second full episode until M&K were told about the Bury Your Gays trope. It shows in how Shannon believes that Ozma is “megaqueer” and Miles jokingly laughs it off instead of confirming it, leaving it to just be Shannon’s headcanon. It shows in how actor shipping is compared between the mlm and wlw ships, where Arryn and Barbara’s frequent pushes for Bumblebee are seen as “official confirmation that it’s endgame” while Michael and Kerry saying they enjoy Seamonkeys is treated as “well it would be cute if they did it, but they’re never going to.”

The whole point of AMA is answer questions, one of which was ‘is Illa a lesbian’ among SEVERAL others.

Yeah and Illa gets called a psycho lesbian.

Yeah and no other voice actor headcanon has been accepted. In fact, Kara pushes for White Knight and the writers don’t even so much as acknowledge that unlike Shannon. Also I dunno what ‘megaqueer’ means but his only on screen relationship was straight so that’s probably why it wasn’t confirmed.

Not the creators, don’t care.

I’m not gonna say anything like “CRWBY are gonna have Qrow end up with a woman like Robyn out of spite against the bad apples of the Fair Game crowd.” I’m not gonna say that I don’t think CRWBY cares about male representation in the series. It is, however, definitely a low priority for them, and because that leads to gaffes like Scarlet’s writing in Before The Dawn being offensive in his depiction, it only makes the contrast between the sexes all the more painfully apparent.

Again, the female side ain’t much better. Fuck, the straight side isn’t much better. This was never a focus of the show.

I’m kinda tired of waiting for Rooster Teeth to show that they do care about mlm. I’m kinda tired of RWBY’s male rep being written like it came from a 1993 time capsule where I have to enhance the screen to see a guy holding a sign of Sun’s abs or be content with the only onscreen rep still being the plant bois in Volume 5. I’m tired of how often the crew dances around answering basic questions about sexuality (and age, and birthdays, and heights, and so on) by treating it as a spoiler question, as if just wanting to know what way people swing would ever be a spoiler. I’m just… tired of all this. When the best mlm rep in Rooster Teeth’s history remains the two dads in Camp Camp who show up in a few episodes, that should say something really bad about your company and your biases (To say nothing of the recent Red vs Blue seasons and their blatant queerbaiting for Grif and Simmons and the whole can of worms that is Donut).

And their best rep in wlw according to some people is a psycho lesbian.

This is all just personal opinion that is next to useless without the basis needed for clear understanding. I don’t know what you would consider good male LGBT rep aside from a squeaky clean good guy...and many would decry that as condescending and unrealistic.

What can they do except ignore EVERYONE and just do whatever they feel like?

P.S. Someone’s representation is NOT their view on LGBT people. Especially since, as I have said, the reception of said rep can be outright contradictory.

I’d like to not feel like I’m borderline unwelcome because I’d like to see two men in this show kiss, and that the sole thing that represents people like me in this show is some British twat who complains about sand.

Oh fuck off. I’m also apart of a minority group (autists) and yet you don’t see me winging about how unwelcome I feel because there’s no autistic characters. I relate to characters like Ruby not because they have shallow autistic traits but because I constantly struggle with the same ideological dilemma Ruby does: the struggle to keep doing good in an uncaring, cruel world. THAT is what you should find relatable and welcome. Not something like sexuality.

I’d just like to feel like my sexuality isn’t a joke to Rooster Teeth (or at the very least, be like Donut and have it be a funny one). But at this point after the last few years? I feel like a very uncomfortable punchline to them. And it just sucks.

Cool-Welcome to club. You know, since EVERY sexuality has been used a punchline by Rooster Teeth.

Your sexuality should be the LAST thing that you use to find being welcome, especially with a god damn company. And you have no one to blame for your feelings but yourself here.

Your post is damn near useless and I don’t even know how honest that RT stuff is considering Miles and Kerry get away while E.C. Myers gets blamed for stuff you don’t like.

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plays-the-thing · 4 years

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Netflix’s Witcher: What Makes a Good Adaptation? – A companion piece

If you’ve somehow found this without seeing the video first, here’s a link:

In this video I analyze the screen adaptations of Lord of the Rings, A Song of Ice and Fire, and the Witcher series. I use the comparisons of the three to discuss what makes adaptations in general work and to explain why I feel the Witcher is heading down the road to mediocrity.

However, this is a hugely complicated subject, and the works themselves are also complex, especially Martin’s work. I make plenty of claims in the video that a reasonable person could disagree with without any explanation for why I think they are true. Unfortunately, if I were to go down every rabbit hole that I touch on the video would be hours long, so I have to gloss over some potentially confusing or controversial statements.

Enter this post. Here I will be attempting to pre-empt any questions that I think people may have, and go through my thought process on certain claims. I don’t recommend that you read the whole thing. Each explanation will be followed by a timestamp and relevant quote from the video that I am expanding upon so that you can quickly search the page and find what you are looking for.

I’m sure there will be things I don’t think to cover, or things that are poorly reasoned both here and in the video, so feel free to ask additional questions. Just please check to make sure you aren’t asking something that I already covered here.

I will also be attempting to give as much credit as possible to all the wonderful writers and creators who have influenced my thinking with regards to these works. I’ll be linking as much as possible to my sources, as well as to additional content that expands on ideas I mention. Also I’ve included some personal tidbits and commentary, just for fun.

Under a cut for length.

INTRODUCTION:

Huge props to the people who put together the behind-the-scenes footage of LOTR. I’ve watched all the bonus footage numerous times in my life. If you have any interest in the nitty-gritty of how movies get made, I can’t recommend it enough. It really shows all the work and complexity that goes into making movies. That they even get made at all is honestly incredible, especially massive undertakings like LOTR.

[3:30] And if you've ever wondered what the hell happened to The Hobbit, to me it seemed like they were indulging all of these worst impulses instead of catching themselves and editing them out like they did in LOTR.

As soon as I saw that they were making three Hobbit movies my hopes plummeted. It just reeked of executive meddling, and of trying to make the story into something it just isn’t. Lo and behold, that’s what we got: sticking in loads of unnecessary and thematically incoherent material to stretch out the runtime and make it more “epic.” I couldn’t bring myself to watch past the first one, but Lindsay Ellis has an excellent video series exploring in detail what went wrong with the trilogy.

PART ONE: LORD OF THE RINGS

[8:40] If you followed the events and the chronology of the book they would just hang out with Faramir for a little bit and then the movie would end

Technically it’s more complicated than this because that’s already following the revised movie timeline. In reality, Frodo would have just left the Black Gate. They *are* moving the events around to some extent, usually by a few of days here and there, but they can’t move stuff together that takes place weeks apart or the whole timeline would crumble.

[9:55] You can call it the theme, the soul, the spirit, the point, or whatever else you want, but the great works of fiction have something at their core that pulls everything together and elevates it into art. It’s a difficult thing to describe, but I think this scene perfectly tapped into the soul of Tolkien’s work.

Huge shout out to Bob Case and his video “Blame of Thrones” for first introducing me to this concept and the language of the “spirit” of a work to describe this phenomenon. In many ways the first two parts of this video are merely building on the LOTR-GOT comparison that he makes in that video, digging a little deeper and looking at more specific and concrete (and spoileriffic) examples of what he’s talking about so that we can apply these ideas to the Witcher…and beyond. Like all his work, it’s excellent. His YouTube is pretty much inactive these days, but he also occasionally writes content for Shamus Young’s blog if you want more of his work.

PART TWO: GAME OF THRONES

Alright, here it is: the section that really caused me to want to make this companion piece. Earlier I mentioned that I have sympathy for the GoT showrunners, and I really do. Martin’s work is incredibly complex, and so this section dominates the blogpost because there is so much to explain and no way that I could explain it all in the video without incredible bloat.

First I should mention that I, and all the writers I am going to credit here, share a very specific interpretation of Martin’s work. This isn’t the only interpretation. I doubt it’s the interpretation of the majority of readers. Obviously, I fully believe it is the correct interpretation, but the showrunners clearly had a wildly different one.

People who have this interpretation express it in different ways. Joannalannister collects hers in her tag #the-meaning-of-asoiaf. PoorQuentyn expresses it here, and in his analysis of Davos, Quentyn, and Tyrion. Other writers express it in their own ways.

With my lit degree hanging over my head, I can’t help but see it as a problem of competing artistic movements. To me, HBO’s Game of Thrones is part of the art movement of the past few decades, namely postmodernism. Art movements are complex, but basically postmodernism is the cynical reaction to the sincerity of modernism which came before it. Cynicism is, I think, the defining trait of Game of Thrones.

But it is NOT the defining trait of the books. In my view, Martin’s ASOIAF is part of the art movement that we are moving towards, which is starting to become known as metamodernism. Metamodernism is a reaction to the nihilistic pessimism and cynicism of postmodernism, and replaces it not with the unbridled sincerity of modernism, but rather oscillation between the two modes. It can be both ironic and sincere, deconstructionist and constructionist, apathetic and affectual. Once you have peeled back all the layers however, it is ultimately hopeful and optimistic. It embraces a sense of radical optimism. In metamodernist works optimism is often radical because the world the characters live in can be so dark. But that darkness serves only to highlight those characters that can hold fast to virtue amidst such darkness.

So, be warned. If you believe that Martin’s work is all about controlling the Iron Throne, and believe that cynicism is for the wise and honor is for fools, we just aren’t going to see eye to eye.

[12:45] Ned is a competent northern politician who has some trouble adapting to southern culture. Through a combination of bad luck, some understandable mistakes, and a misconception about his position, he fails in his goals.

The show didn’t invent the idea of Stupid Honorable Ned. Plenty of people believed this, even before the show. Obviously I believe they are wrong. If you would like to read more about it I would suggest Steven Attewell’s analysis of Ned’s chapters that he does on his blog, particularly Eddard XI and Eddard XIII. Steven does a much better job of analyzing Ned as a political actor than I ever could.

[13:00] Most of these changes are subtle…the best example is the council debate about whether or not to assassinate Daenerys.

Many of the ideas in this section are pulled from two essays by turtle-paced: Poor Doomed Ned and The Argument to Assassinate Daenerys. Turtle goes deep into the details of the differences between the Ned Stark of the books and the show, and I skimmed some of their comparisons for my argument. Steven Attewell’s analysis of this chapter is also worth reading.

[14:09] It’s a good argument, and I think in the books we are expected to mostly agree with Ned, both morally and politically.

When I say “expected” I mean from the authors point of view, which of course relies on me being correct about my interpretation of Martin’s work. Obviously I think I’m right, but if you don’t agree with my interpretation you may not agree with this statement.

[14:16] Notice also that the supporters of the assassination: Littlefinger, Varys, Renly, and Pycelle are all villains (all except Pycelle are trying to destabilize the kingdom), and the people who oppose it, Ned and Barristan, are heroes.

Each of them represents a different sort of evil. Littlefinger is a scheming sociopathic villain. Varys is a well-intentioned extremist whose willingness to commit utterly heinous acts in the pursuit of his goals makes him a villain. This is because, as Huxley puts it, “The end cannot justify the means, for the simple and obvious reason that the means employed determine the nature of the ends produced.” Renly is narcissistic ambitious evil, willing to throw a realm into war to satisfy his own ego, and is totally uncaring about the lives of other people. It isn’t precisely correct to say that Pycelle is a villain because he represents the banality of evil. He thinks he’s just doing his job, but he’s morally bankrupt and politically corrupt.

[16:40] It would take too long to list all the ways that Tywin is awful, and everyone knows it.

To clarify, I mean that everyone in-universe knows it. For some god-forsaken reason, some readers seem to think that Tywin was just being effective after he unleashed the Mountain on the Riverlands and violated every military and political norm in Westeros.

If you are going to say that he is “Machiavellian” I would encourage you to actually read The Prince, where Machiavelli says “Nevertheless a prince ought to inspire fear in such a way that, if he does not win love, he avoids hatred” and goes into the reasons why.

[17:17] Tywin on the other hand accomplished a lot of short-term gains by being as treacherous and dishonorable as possible. But this has a cost: by proving themselves fair-weather allies they surround themselves with the same. Nobody trusts them, and so their allies scheme and betray them.

Oberyn and Doran are both scheming in their own way to revenge themselves on the Lannisters for the deaths of Elia and her children. The Tyrells poison Joffrey and scheme to spirit Sansa away to Highgarden.

[17:36] Ned failed due to a couple of minor mistakes, some bad luck, and treachery.

I mention a few times that Ned, and more broadly the Starks, get “unlucky.” Again, Steven Attewell does an excellent job of documenting this with his keen eye for how GRRM cheats political realities, but I’ll note a few of the many ways George has to bend over backward to screw the Starks.

In AGoT Catelyn leaves King’s Landing roughly around the same time that Tyrion leaves the wall, and both are on horseback. In order for them to meet at the Inn at the Crossroads Tyrion has to travel roughly 2,000 miles in the same time that Catelyn travels 400 miles. This is basically impossible, but necessary for the plot so that Catelyn can lose Tyrion at the Eyrie. If she had caught him somewhere further north she could have simply chucked him into her own dungeons and managed his trial herself.

Cersei has been trying to kill Robert for goodness knows how long with just as unreliable methods as “get him drunk on a hunt.” In order for Ned to get screwed she has to succeed in killing Robert at precisely that moment. If it had failed like every one of her other attempts she is most likely dead, because Ned would tell Robert the truth about her children as soon as he got back.

In order for Theon to take Winterfell, veteran military man and castellan Ser Rodrik Cassell has to stupidly empty the Winterfell garrison while he knows that Ironborn raiders are running loose in the North, not even leaving behind a mere twenty-five to fifty men that would have completely thrashed Theon’s assault. If Theon can’t take Winterfell, the Red Wedding doesn’t happen (as Martin has told us that the real inciting incident of the Red Wedding was the fall of Winterfell).

[17:41] However, killing him was a terrible idea, and backfired on the Lannisters instantly.

Continuing this theme, the Lannisters were in an absolutely horrible position at the beginning of the War of the Five Kings. They pretty much just have their bannerman in the Westerlands. Stannis seems to have the support of most of the Crownlands, and he and Renly are splitting the lords of the Reach and the Stormlands (with Renly having the larger chunk). The Starks have all the support of the North and the Riverlands combined. The Lannisters are surrounded by enemies who outnumber them on all sides. Killing Ned immediately jumpstarts a war that will almost certainly crush the Lannisters. That it didn’t took some very thin plotting and improbable developments at times, but overall George made it work. For more analysis of this, again check out Steven Attewell Blog: Race for the Iron Throne.

[17:48] Tywin was killed by both a guest whom he considered his ally, and his son.

I firmly believe Oberyn poisoned Tywin. Here’s a good rundown of the evidence. Beyond simple means, motive, and opportunity it also provides neat answers to lingering odd questions like why Tywin rotted so oddly and aggressively, why Tyrion knew he would find him in the privy, why Oberyn was willing to chuck his life away for a confession before seeming to have secured revenge against Tywin.

It’s also thematically juicy. I love the idea that Tywin, who so egregiously violated Westerosi norms culminating in the total breach of the social contract at the Red Wedding, was a victim of contrapasso. He can’t be protected by social norms, so he gets poisoned by his guest and ally. Did Tyrion know he was dying? Had he put it all together? Was that bolt really an act of mercy? Perhaps it was one final service to the Lannisters, to keep the dream of their alliance with the Martells alive. Who knows, but boy is it interesting to consider.

[18:13] his alliances fall to pieces, and his children are abandoned by even their own family.

I’m referring here to the infighting between the Tyrells and Lannisters (and Martells, though they never had any intent of staying true to the alliance) after Tywin’s death (though there was some before as well, just intensified after Cersei takes over from Tywin). Kevan forces Cersei to take the walk of shame, and Jaime and the rest of the Lannisters abandon her to that fate.

[19:41] Just like Lord of the Rings, and the Witcher, ASOIAF is clearly dedicated to anti-violence. Not pacifism: all three works have heroes dealing out retributive violence in order to try and restore justice.

I understand it might be odd to suggest that three works which feature so much violence can be dedicated to anti-violence, but depicting something is not the same as endorsing it. I would argue in the case of Martin’s work in particular that his depiction of violence, so un-romantically brutal and direct, is intentionally revolting, and therefore is designed to be anti-violence. Martin purposefully makes you want revenge on certain characters, gives it to you, and then forces you to stare at the inhumanity of this thing you thought you wanted. Yeah I wanted Theon to pay, but not like that. Yeah, I wanted Cersei to pay, but not like that. Yeah, I want the Freys to pay, but I don’t think I’m going to like what Stoneheart is going to do to them.

There is a certain amount of this in the Witcher as well. I can specifically think of one scene in The Blood of Elves, but I promised no Witcher spoilers.

The violence in LOTR is much more romanticized, but as Faramir says: “I do not love the bright sword for its sharpness, nor the arrow for its swiftness, nor the warrior for his glory. I love only that which they defend.” The hero is still Frodo, who doesn’t fight anyone or anything in the whole story. Frodo is a pacifist, but his pacifism is enabled by others who are willing to fight.

[20:07] In a Dance with Dragons Daenerys allows the old slave-holding class to maintain too much power and so they immediately attempt to continue the old violence of slavery. Daenerys did not commit enough violence against the slave-owners, so they were allowed to continue existing, and as long as they existed they were always going to abuse and oppress the ex-slaves.

A couple years after the release of ADWD, an obnoxiously wrong and poisonous idea began to creep into the ASOIAF fandom: Daenerys’ violence against the slaveowners in Slaver’s Bay is dangerous and immoral, and peace is the better option. This idea was most persuasively argued in the Meereenese Blot’s series of essays.

I’ll quote some of the conclusion here:

“They are supposed to feel this generic distrust for everyone, and to fail to grasp that their peaces were actually quite successful. Dany is supposed to conclude — wrongly — that her behavior through most of the book was silly and foolish. And if you came away with those impressions too, it’s perfectly understandable…The whole plotline is designed to maneuver Dany into a mental place where she’ll decide to sideline her concerns for innocent life, and take what she wants with fire and blood.”

This idea, much like the idea that Daenerys is some sort of unhinged fascist just waiting for the right trigger, makes me unbelievably angry. This idea that I am supposed to value the life of the slaveowner and the slave equally, and that maintaining a “peaceful” slave-owning society is an acceptable alternative to violent revolution is so fundamentally revolting to me, that it turns my stomach even to write that sentence.

Some fans went even as far as to suggest that Daenerys’ occupation of Meereen was a parallel to the US occupation of Iraq, and that she was engaged in erasing an authentic slave-owning culture that she despised. If you read the above series of essays, you can see that they are, at the least, enabling that kind of thinking.

To be clear, I do not consider any slave society to be worth a damn thing. Anything that continues it is evil and all that attempts to destroy it is good. That being said, once again Steven Attewell does a better job than I ever could of rebutting the ideas of the Meereneese Blot, and explaining how the correct parallel of Daenerys’ actions in Meereen is the American mistake of abandoning radical reconstruction. He describes her actions in Meereen as abandoning a revolution half complete. I highly recommend reading it, especially if you are American.

Martin is not a pacifist. He has said he would have fought in WWII. He demonstrated against Vietnam. As far as I know, the first time George ever used the words “Fire and Blood” was in a book released in 1982 called Fevre Dream:

“I never held much with slavery […]. You can’t just go… usin’ another kind of people, like they wasn’t people at all. Know what I mean? Got to end, sooner or later. Better if it ends peaceful, but it’s got to end even if it has to be with fire and blood, you see? Maybe that’s what them abolitionists been sayin’ all along. You try to be reasonable, that’s only right, but if it don’t work, you got to be ready. Some things is just wrong. They got to be ended.”

Daenerys is a slave-freeing, slave-owner-killing Hero with a capital H. She has made mistakes. I weep for the lives of the slaves that she has thrown away by abandoning her revolution, by failing to give the people of Astapor the strength to defend themselves, by maintaining a false peace that allows the Meereneese KKK to kill ex-slaves in the night. I shed no tears for the slaveowners that she has killed. When you treat other human beings as property you forfeit your right to Prosperity, Freedom, and Life. Preferably in that order—I would prefer that a slave society could peacefully transition, that those who attempted to continue it could be locked up, and that bloodshed could be avoided. But sometimes violence is necessary.

Daenerys will make more mistakes, I am sure. I believe that she will swing too far in the other direction, temporarily. But that’s a topic for another time.

[20:57] She comforts the hound even as he threatens her and helps him on his path from violence to peace.

Sandor did not die, despite what the Elder Brother told Brienne. He uses his words very carefully, to suggest that the Hound is dead, but that Sandor Clegane the man is simply “at rest.” He has become a brother of the isle.

“On the upper slopes they saw three boys driving sheep, and higher still they passed a lichyard where a brother bigger than Brienne was struggling to dig a grave. From the way he moved, it was plain to see that he was lame.” - Brienne VI, AFFC

[21:40] If they don’t understand why Tywin is a villain then of course they won’t understand why the Others are the main villains of the series, and will probably replace them with some blonde queen. And if you don’t understand that the cold of the human heart is the real enemy than of course you’ll think you can stop winter by just stabbing it. Like Tywin would.

In the books the Others are the villains. They are what the whole story is building towards, much like in LOTR the story builds towards Frodo casting the ring into the Fire. Martin has said that he thinks that the finishing chapters of LOTR, like the Scouring of the Shire, were important, so we may see something like that, but the clear emphasis will be on the existential evil, and cleaning up Cersei or Aegon “Targaryen’s” mess will be a clear step down in importance. It’s something that the heroes have grown beyond, but still need to handle, just like Saruman in the Shire.

[22:04] There’s nothing wrong with liking Game of Thrones, or disliking Lord of the Rings, or anything else.

I really do mean this. I am going to be critical of things you like, and am going to praise things you love. People are different, that’s to be expected. I am not here to pretend that people should only like the things I like. I’m interested in what makes these stories work. I said much the same thing in my last video about some of the new Star Wars properties. People tend to get really attached to the media they like (I’m no exception) and that can color our perception of criticism. Do try to keep in mind that if you like something I criticize it isn’t an attack on you. You have a sacred and personal relationship to the things you enjoy that no one can take from you. I like all kinds of stuff that other people might consider bad, and that’s okay. Actually it’s great, because it gives us something to talk about.

I may genuinely hate Game of Thrones because it butchers something I came to love, but that doesn’t mean I have anything against the people who do like it for their own reasons. We’re all just out here enjoying what we like.

PART THREE: THE WITCHER

There is less in this section for two reasons. First, I promised not to spoil anything past the material covered in the show and I’ll stick to that here. Second—full disclosure here—I haven’t read all of the books because after Blood of Elves I got pretty bored and from what I had heard they did not improve in quality, and if anything got worse. Having already felt that going from the anthologies to Blood I was happy to end my reading there.

If something I say is contradicted by a later book that I didn’t read feel free to let me know.

[23:31] First I should mention that Sapkowski’s works are not on the same level as Tolkien’s and Martin’s, who are the best and second-best fantasy authors of all time. I have enjoyed the Witcher books that I have read, but they are not anywhere near as complex or beautifully written.

This is just my opinion, see above paragraph. I really do think that it’s a pretty common opinion though. I’ve read it before, and you often see people recommend the first two Witcher anthologies in a “if you like it maybe see if you like the rest of them?” sort of way. Book sales numbers also support this, though by all accounts they are exploding in the wake of the show.

But, one potential issue is that I’m reading a translation so I have no idea how good Sapkowski’s prose actually is. You get a lot of sentences in the US edition like: “it must be both bothersome and irritating.” Translation is art, not science, and passages like these make me worry that the translator is just translating each phrase without worrying about all the subtlety that makes language beautiful. These are minor examples of course, but they worry me about what else might be changed. So take my criticism of his writing with a giant, translated, grain of salt, in that I don’t read Polish.

[23:58] Despite this, Geralt the Witcher has been worming his way into popular culture for years, interestingly on the back of a series of video games

Google trends clearly show that the video games are what primarily generated interest in the character before the show. There were no English editions until around the time the games started coming out, and the US editions all feature concept art from the games on the covers. The release of the subsequently translated books after the games received very little attention in comparison to the games.

[24:15] In my opinion, that decline of focus on Geralt was the greatest weakness in the books, and the focus on Geralt is the greatest strength of the games. Because Geralt is at the core of what made Sapkowski’s story and world engaging in the first place. He is a fascinating character in a way that Ciri, who is a fairly standard fantasy “chosen child,” could never be.

This is just my opinion, and I explain why I think Geralt is so great in the subsequent paragraphs. Reasonable people can disagree on this, but I’ve come across more than a couple fantasy characters who could be generically described as “royal orphans with special powers.” It’s not exactly novel. Geralt is pretty novel, at least in terms of what I have read.

[24:49] He suffers many of the same psychological problems that characters like Tyrion and Brienne suffer from in Martin’s work

The technical name for these kinds of issues is “internalized bigotry.” This happens when you get treated consistently horribly by the society you live in due to some fundamental fact about yourself that you didn’t choose, and eventually you begin to believe and “internalize” their opinion of you. For example, people expect Tyrion to be unlovable, conniving, lecherous, and debauched. Eventually he simply leans into these characteristics, because in a way it’s almost easier to be what people expect you to be.

[25:48] To top it off, he hides all this inside a cynical and nihilistic exterior, he pretends he doesn’t care when in fact, he cares more than anyone.

The shot that accompanies this, of Geralt looking intently at what’s happening in the room while others tend to be watching with a sort of mild curiosity like you might at an unexpected circus performance, did an awesome job of conveying this idea.

[26:36] This was kind of a cool idea, but predictably their scenes ended up being generally less interesting and engaging then Geralt’s. Yennefer’s were sometimes fantastic but Ciri’s rarely were.

This was the opinion of fans that I most commonly observed. I don’t have any empirical evidence of this. If you have any that either supports or contradicts this please let me know, I would be fascinated to see it. I could see someone really loving Yennefer’s scenes, and I personally enjoyed a lot of them, but I don’t understand how someone could walk away from the first season with Ciri as their favorite character of the three. I’ll come back to this in a later section.

[27:40] In many ways the first two books, and the games, have more in common with Sherlock Holmes than they do most other fantasy stories.

Really a more accurate comparison would be Philip Marlowe since Geralt is definitely more of an American Pulp detective than a British one. I do love the similarity between Geralt’s Witcher Senses in The Witcher 3 and Sherlock’s detective vision in Crimes and Punishment. I can’t make the same comparison to a Philip Marlowe game, because no one’s made one yet.

Actually that’s not strictly true. There was one game that came out in 1996.

[28:12] But Netflix’s Witcher has barely a whiff of detective fiction anywhere. I think this has caused a lot of fans to feel alienated by the show, even if they can’t explain exactly why.

It’s not reasonable to expect people to know why they like or don’t like something. It’s a feeling, and unless they have experience with writing, narratology, literature, film studies, or just read a lot of tvtropes.org, they are not likely to be able to put their finger on what it is. This causes people to disproportionally blame the things that are most obviously wrong. The premiere example of this is Jar Jar Binks in The Phantom Menace. Jar Jar was obviously bad, but he doesn’t even come close to the top ten biggest problems with the movie. It was much worse that there was no main character or understandable plot and drama. Check out Red Letter Media’s legendary review for more on that.

I think a similar thing happened with Ciri, in that her story was sort of obviously underwhelming and so received a lot of flak, but there are deeper problems with the show.

[32:04] The third change is more subtle, but I’m worried that this Geralt genuinely believes in neutrality.

Just like Ned, the showrunners would not be the first to espouse this view. This quote in particular about “evil is evil” is obnoxiously peddled about as a justification for fence-sitting despite the fact that Geralt’s actual behavior doesn’t support it at all.

I don’t know for sure if the showrunners genuinely think Geralt tries to be neutral. There’s some evidence for yes in the first episode, the Borch episode, the Striga episode, and a couple of others. There’s strong evidence for no in the Duny/Pavetta episode. We’ll just have to see.

To be clear, when I mean “neutral” I mean in the face of immediate violence or injustice. Geralt often doesn’t care who is king, as he explains to Ostrit. But he won’t let a Striga continue to kill people just for coin.

[37:20] When the writers took away Ned’s best arguments for his actions, when they took his story of existential triumph, of not compromising his morals, and turned it into a simple tragedy, they showed they clearly did not understand his heroism.

See PoorQuentyn’s explanation of existential heroism, and how it applies to ASOIAF.

[37:58] In the books, Ciri and Yennefer are included in the story through their connection to Geralt, because he is our hero and the foundation of our connection to the world. In the show they are included before ever having met Geralt, and they take up time that could have been spent focusing on those devilish detective details that make Geralt’s stories and character work.

Originally this video had a lot of discussion about how well these two other characters worked, but it ended up being kind of useless because it comes down to personal opinion, and the writers failure to properly use Geralt massively overshadows whether or not someone liked or didn’t like either of the other two leads. Again, I get why someone could like Yennefer’s scenes. I get why someone could maybe even like her scenes more than Geralt’s. Anya Chalotra did great. I thought the writing was a little weak at times, but on balance pretty decent. Geralt gets the benefit of all his stories being straight adaptations, and she didn’t, so it was a pretty decent job.

On the other hand, I thought Ciri’s storyline was a giant waste of space. When I think of all the best moments in the show, Ciri doesn’t show up in any of them. She spends the entire season running away from and interacting with fairly minor and forgettable characters that did not need to be introduced in this season. Calanthe, Eist, and Mousesack were great characters and the actors gave great performances, but that did not make up for the fact that her storyline went nowhere and did nothing to justify its inclusion. If someone loved Ciri’s storyline I would genuinely be interested to know why.

[39:10] I do have some sympathy for the writers of the Witcher.

Many times in this video I mention sympathy for various writers. Moviemaking is a massively complex undertaking. If you know anything about the difficulty of getting these things together you’ll know that it’s an absolute miracle any movie gets made and takes herculean effort from everyone involved. Television series are arguably even worse because they are longer, more complex, and often have a lower budget despite that. The people involved are honestly doing their best, and I recognize that, even if I criticize the product.

[39:47] They are in this unfortunate position where they can’t really pull the majority of their writing straight from the books because the material isn’t really strong enough by itself.

The books are very dialogue heavy. As I allude to, the one scene that was very close to the book is that scene with Filavandrel and it’s just obnoxious because the two characters just dialogue at each other. It goes on even longer in the book. How well that works in a book is up for debate but it wasn’t going to work on the screen, and it didn’t.

These problems are not insurmountable though. You can put other footage over these monologues. You could have included some footage of Elves fighting in their war. You could have footage of the “cursed” daughters of Lilit being locked in towers or autopsied while Stregobor explains it. I get this is more budget, but that budget went other places.

On the other hand some great scenes that I think would have translated excellently shot-for-shot from the book with little additional budget, like Renfri and Geralt in the Alderman’s attic, are entirely cut. Ah well.

[40:25] Well, I have my theories, but it in the end it doesn’t really matter.

I have a sneaking suspicion that somebody thought it needed to be more “epic” than the first two books are, so we got all this princess and political stuff in early. If there’s any merit to the idea that this series “copied” GoT, it’s somewhere in here, just like how the Hobbit got poisoned with all of the “epicness” of LOTR.

[44:54] Lastly, I’m gonna do my best to put out more regular content going forward. I’m aiming for at least one video a month.

I place no limitation on topics. It’ll probably be mostly media analysis, but if I’m honest I’m just going to write about whatever interests me. That’s the best way to keep myself interested.

That being said, if you have something you think I should analyze let me know. If I’m interested, I might do it.

#witcher #netflix witcher #lotr #asoiaf #game of thrones #anti-got #lord of the rings #adaptation #video companions

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hunnybadgerv · 4 years

Note

Writer Ask Meme 3. What is your favorite/least favorite part about writing? 10. Pick an author (or writing friend) to co-write a book with 12. Which story (or: stories) of yours do you like best? why? 17. What things (scenes/topics/character types) are you most comfortable writing? 29. Is writing more of a hobby or do you write with the intention of getting published? 36. Post a snippet 49. Favorite fictional world?

Behind the Scenes of Fic Writing: 30 Questions for Authors

3. What is your favorite/least favorite part about writing? Getting started. Once I’m writing, I can usually find the zone. But it’s getting started that is always the hardest for me. Like this morning, I didn’t know where to even start. So, I opted to edit, since it is something I wanted to accomplish this week. And I know that in the revision process I also tend to refine my prose, i.e., write, so my editing and writing work today coincided.

I have, however, written every day this month and I’m hoping to continue that trend. But regardless of the time of day, getting started tends to be my biggest obstacle overall.

10. Pick an author (or writing friend) to co-write a book with. Must it only be one? Gosh.

There are so many great writers I know, more than I could ever even try to consider for this.

I’ve always admired @theoriginalladya for the uniqueness of her ideas and character development are second to none; I equally love and hate when she and I talk about her characters because I get super excited about them because of how amazing they are. Then I quickly become obsessed, which may or may not be the only “bad” thing. @painterofhorizons has angst super powers; even in a snippet of text she can rip your soul clean from your body. Her writing is so evocative and emotionally striking. Then there is @chyrstis, whose ability to seamlessly weave humor into her fics sparks more than envy. She manages to put characters into such believable, yet laughable situations that it only serves to endear them to readers.

I’m not sure I could ever co-write a piece, but I would count myself lucky to write with any of the writers I regularly associate with, especially one of these three. Apologies to all the amazing writers I know who I did not mention by name, but I already didn’t follow the question in the first place by mentioning three rather than a single one.

12. Which story (or: stories) of yours do you like best? why? Oh gosh. This is so cruel. One story! Really? That’s all. Honestly, First Watch of the Night (Guardians in the Darkness Series) is one of my favorite. I think that might be in part because of nostalgia--it is Nyx Shepard’s WIP. I actually have it planned all the way through ME3, though I’ve currently stalled in the revision process in the ME1 timeline. I’m not sure why either.

I find myself wondering if the reason I have not finished it is because once I know what happens, maybe I won’t have the drive to finish writing it. Maybe I can’t get past the block because I’m worried that finishing their story will vacate those muses from my mind, which I kind of don’t want. I really have grown quite attached to Nyx, Kaidan, and her crew.

Honestly, I think that might be the struggle I end up in with all my longer fics. Short fics in collection are so much easier because the story never has to end. A long fic follows a certain line and has a definite conclusion, which I think worries me.

17. What things (scenes/topics/character types) are you most comfortable writing? Umm, If you were to look at characters like Tayen Quick, Nyx and Feign Shepard, Furia, Remy McGinnis, Mari Ryder, Cyna Mahariel, and Laerke, you’d see a common thread connecting them. I tend enjoy writing strong female characters, especially those that are flawed or broken in some way. Honestly, Nyx and Furia, also to some extent Leah Rook, all share imposter syndrome to one degree or another--so does Mari. I always tend to have one or two characters that share a flaw. I have Mari, Laerke, and Furia who have all lost their entire families. Characters that come from big families. But I tend to write female protagonists more so than males.

29. Is writing more of a hobby or do you write with the intention of getting published? I published a short story in college. And I really would like to be published some day. Right now, I am mostly writing for me. I’ve got original fiction ideas, but I don’t work on them currently. I focus on my fandom work in order to practice and hone the skills and plans I have for future pieces.

I want to write something in the mix of fantasy/sci-fi. But I also have a strong sense of realism. I still hold tight to Mark Twain’s statement that the difference between real life and fiction is that fiction has to make sense. Things have to stem logically from one another in a story, and I always try to ground my writing in experience--sights, smells, sounds, textures that my readers can be familiar with--in order to add some sense of connection. I try to make my characters flawed in ways that feel accurate to them.

A part of me screams in the back of my head that I am a writer. I can be an author, but a part of me worries that perhaps it may not happen. I keep writing. And I keep trying new things. I’ll always be a storyteller. I will keep writing and falling in love with fictional beings and places that I cannot resist exploring.

36. Post a snippet This is from First Watch of the Night. I really love the characters and depth I managed to capture in this piece. Honestly, it’s one of the pieces of my own writing that intimidates me ... a lot. I don’t write the same way anymore. I feel like my writing lacks the same emotional depth right now. And I’m not sure why. It might have to do with how disconnected from other humans I have been in the last decade.

The scene here is Nyx Shepard and her father from Chapter 18:

The two Shepards watched one another for a long moment, before Taranis returned his attention to one of the soft cherries. The commander sighed, sipping her tea quietly while the captain waited. It was his usual tactic. He knew there was more and he could always wait her out. Nyx would talk to him in her own time, even if it had to be in carefully crafted abstractions. His daughter knew the drill. Taranis' methods were nothing new to her. He would take long pauses, allowing her to consider all the things she was not telling him. Then he would ask careful questions in case it was actually related to her current or a classified assignment--since need to know could interfere with her desire to disclose and his fatherly curiosity.

Whatever it was, Nyx held onto it much longer than usual, which told him she really did not want to bring it up. Despite this, Taranis knew she would relent because she kept glancing over at him with a look that suggested she was merely trying to find the way to bring it up. Nyx always came first for him; he redirected his career to give her the life she had, a life where there was always one parent there to hold her tight when things weren't just so. He knew it was not perfect, but he did everything he could to be there for her.

Nyx sighed as she set the tea cup on the table between them. "Fine," she breathed heavily.

It took another few moments for her to look up at him. Then she scooted a little closer, lowering her voice in discretion. Watching her carefully Taranis could not quite be sure what she was going to say, but she bit her lip and winced a little when she finally asked a question he never expected to hear.

"What did you do when you met Mom?"

Everything froze for a second or two as he stared at her. The little blush on her cheeks threw her father for a loop, but made him smile. "Well, damn."

The commander shook her head at him, trying to discourage him from thinking too hard about what she had just asked.

"Answer the question, please."

Captain Taranis Shepard rubbed his hand through the short stubble on the back of his head as he stared at his daughter in stunned silence. "I avoided her. Tried to just keep my distance. I even put in for a transfer," he admitted with a wry smile. "It got denied because I did not put in what command thought was a valid reason. Then, on leave, I talked to your Grandpa Shepard about it."

Nyx smiled and laughed. "And what did the old devil dog have to say about that?"

Her voice held a note of disbelief that her father was not surprised to hear. Taranis' father was a stickler for rules, regulations, expectations. He was strict and set high expectations. The captain could tell by the way his daughter eyed the dregs in her tea cup that she was as completely unprepared for what her father was about to say as Taranis had been when he heard it.

"He told me it was not a weakness to want someone to be part of your life."

Nyx's eyes darted to his. She was easily as shocked as he had been. Moving the tea cup, Taranis laid her hand out in his and covered it with the other.

"I told him all the things, I'm pretty sure you're telling yourself right now. All the excuses about regs, concerns, and bad experiences and stories you've heard," Taranis said quietly as he stroked the back of her hand lightly.

She leaned toward him. Her voice was tight with emotion. "And?"

Holding her hand tightly, her father smiled at her softly. "He told me that there are some things that outweigh the regs."

They were both quiet for a moment as Nyx let herself fall back in the chair. Her mind was clearly racing. Kirk Shepard had always stern, at best; he still was totally by the book in everything except when he met his wife. That was the only rule Taranis could think of his father ever even bending, let alone breaking out right. Nyx had been very close with both her grandfathers; she respected them as men and as marines. For her they were role models, people she that influenced her greatly.

"I'm going to tell you something you probably don't know. My parents met in the service, too. We Shepards seem to fall for our brethren," he said playfully. Nyx did not look relieved in the slightest. "He almost lost her on a mission. Even in love, your grandfather was still the same man. He couldn't justify risking the primary objective. The mission at all costs, you know?"

Taranis knew she understood it. Hell, he knew she lived that decree just as solidly as his father.

"She made it out alive, barely. Your grandfather, sentimental bastard, proposed to her when she woke up from surgery. Grandma Amelie was just as stoic as he was. Told him she would consider it, but only if he promised to do always put the mission first, even if she was in his command. She believed him when he said he would. Even lived up to it. Had to put her at risk once more in the field before they got married."

"And he told you this when you asked him about Mom?"

"Yep," Taranis said, nodding as he studied his daughter's reaction. "I was rather hoping I wouldn't have to tell it to you, but I guess it was too much to hope you'd break the trend of falling for servicemen."

She shrugged and looked at their hands for a long moment. "Seemed to be going well for a while," Nyx said quietly.

"Just tell me it's not the Zingel kid."

Her laugh made him smile, and brightened her eyes. "No, it's not Caz."

Taranis leaned back in his chair, fidgeting with his uniform for a moment. "So, tell me something about this fella."

The way she tilted her head at him suggested that the question might have been her maximum.

"At least tell me his name so I can start checking up and get a little peace."

"Da."

"Fine." Taranis let his hands fall on the arms of his chair. "Don't relieve your old father of the undue stress he is now placed under worrying about what kind of man his plucking his daughter's heart strings."

"Seriously?" she replied with a doubtful look.

They both knew she did not see herself as the type of woman who was plucked, but Taranis had a long and vivid memory and he could still recall the girl with the romantic sensibilities.

"What? I remember the shelves of Austen, Gaskell, and the Brontes. Then there were the sonnets your grandmother always sent you. And if I recall you were planning on marrying Captain Wentworth." He tilted his head at her slightly. "Perhaps I should have seen this coming after all."

They both laughed. Then Nyx sprang forward and hugged her father around the neck. "I've missed you, Da."

"I love you, Nyxy-girl."

Her lips were warm on his cheek. "Love you, too," she repeated before she stood. "I should probably go."

"We should do this again," her father offered, as he stood and proffered his arm. "Soon."

His daughter smiled and looked away for a moment. "Sure. As soon as I can."

Once they exited the little shop, they stopped and he touched her cheek before he bent and kissed her forehead again. He did not like her chosen phrase. Taranis knew she meant it, but he also knew the schedule she had kept for the past several years and there was little hope of relief given the most recent change.

"I'd prefer sooner," he noted.

It always killed him to say what he said next, the phrase was tradition, but always made his heart ache because he knew there was always a chance that he could lose his girl in the line of duty. He had been in her boots and hung them up for her. She had taken them up with fervor and so much more skill and determination than Taranis ever possessed.

"Good hunting, Commander," he said, a waver in his voice, as he saluted her sharply.

Nyx returned it as smartly as she would to an admiral. "Thank you Captain."

Taranis watched the girl with her mother's hair and his eyes weave through the crowds in the wards. He remembered meeting a boy once, at her basic graduation. Keith or Kyle or something that started with a K. He managed to stick around until a few months after her graduation from Exeter. Somehow the kid had stuck it out through three mission deployments before the relationship ended without so much as a whimper. The captain could not remember his name or much else about him. Even after a few years together, his daughter never hinted at the question she just asked. It elated and scared the hell out of him.

49. Favorite fictional world? I really enjoy writing ME and in SWTOR. They are amazing worlds full of science, magic, adventure, and drama. Though I’m also drawn to fantasy for the same reasons. But I think futuristic worlds and space are some of my favorites.

#Behind the Scenes of Fic Writing #30 Questions for Authors #Writer Questions #long post #painterofhorizons

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thearkhound · 5 years

Text

1998 Metal Gear Solid art commentary from Yoji Shinkawa (revised translation)

Source:http://web.archive.org/web/20050109031649/http://www.konamijpn.com:80/products/metalgear/art/index.html

The following is a translation of various artwork commentary by Metal Gear Solid illustrator Yoji Shinkawa that were posted on the game’s official Japanese website on July 9, 1998. These pages remained online until 2008, when Konami decided to relaunch the website in order to promote the digital download release of the game on the PlayStation Store.

I posted an earlier translation of these blog posts on March 8 of this year (2019) that was missing most of the illustrations being described, since the image files were not archived. I’ve since found the missing image files on another website and took the liberty of revising my translation to fix mistakes or clarify certain statements. I’ve tried to edit the original blog post, but for some reason tumblr didn’t allow me to upload any new images, so I decided to delete it and post the revision as a new blog post.

I’ve also found the images of the scratch Metal Gear REX model sculpted by Yoji Shinkawa that were uploaded on the official site, but unfortunately they were watermarked by a fansite that copied them back in the day. With that said, it’s still better than nothing, so I added them at the end of this blog poster.

Unfortunately, I still haven’t found any of the photos used on the seventh blog post, so that will still remain untranslated for the time being.

Interviewer: First of all, it’s a pleasure to talk to you Mr. Shinkawa.

Shinkawa: Please to meet you too.

Interviewer: I’ll start by asking about the game’s protagonist Solid Snake. What kind of details were you paying attention to when designing his character.

Shinkawa: Well I talked about this before in Konami Magazine Vol. 2, but there were two Metal Gear games prior to this one, so I struggled to find a balance between them. The Snake in the original Metal Gear looked like a young musclebound guy, while in Metal Gear 2 he was more of a bitter middle-aged man. This time Mr. Kojima’s image of Snake was one of having a tough and athletic body like Jean-Claude Van Damme combined with the middle-aged nature of someone like Christopher Walken. As a result, he became something of a middle ground between the two.

Interviewer: I see. What was your work after Snake’s image was decided on?

Shinkawa: The truth is I had trouble designing his costume. At the beginning I was thinking of a conventional military uniform in blue urban camo. But then I thought it might had been a bit too careless to have Snake swim underwater wearing such a uniform. Since the story takes place in the near future, he ended up wearing a costume made of leather and waterproof material.

Interviewer: It’s an amazing attention to detail that you kept in mind Snake’s infiltration route when designing his costume. So there’s a scene where Snake is underwater? What happens if the Ninja lands in a pond or something?

Shinkawa: What would happen? Huh... He would spark up and then yell something like “Water! My weakness!” (laugh) Just kidding.

Interviewer: (laughs) I guess not.

Shinkawa: It’s hard to know when it comes to Mr. Kojima though...

Interviewer: Don’t worry about it. By the way, is there any behind-the-scenes stories about the game’s development.

Shinkawa: Yes. It’s not much of an inside story, but I drew Ninja in a train.

Interviewer: During a train ride?

Shinkawa: Yes, I drew him while riding a commuter train. I was stationed at Osaka at the time. Most of the people there not friendly, so I would spent time observing the college girls.

Interviewer: That’s pretty nice.

Shinkawa:I guess so. But the friendliness here is good though. But Tokyo doesn’t have such a thing, so it feels a bit lonely. How I should say this, but there’s something that could be described as “enjoying the reaction of people watching in my direction” that could be seen not just over there, but here too.

Interviewer: So that’s how you train your sense of observation!

Shinkawa: No, that’s not what I meant. (laughs)

Interviewer: Is there a type of woman that you like?

Shinkawa: I wonder about that.

Interviewer: I’m sorry, that was such a trite question. Let me rephrase that. Is there a particular celebrity that you like?

Shinkawa: I guess I have no choice. My type would be someone like Shinobu Nakayama.

Interviewer: Is that so? Personally I’m a fan of Yuki Uchida if you’re curious to know...

Shinkawa: Yeah, she’s not bad.

Interviewer: Ah!

Shinkawa: Well, let’s put that subject aside. The truth is that the character of Mei-Ling was actually modeled after Nakayama herself. I used to watch her drama series.

Interviewer: Ah! That’s such an interesting thing to learn. Now that you say that, Mei-Ling really does resemble Nakayama looking at her closely, doesn’t she?

Shinkawa: Mei-Ling was written to be a bubbly college girl. She tends heavily to my taste, since she’s in the right age range and has my ideal image.

Interviewer: That’s nice. Having your preferences tied directly to your job.

Shinkawa: It’s not just mine. The character of Dr. Naomi Hunter was made to suit Mr. Kojima’s preferences too.

Interviewer: I see. Huh? At this rate, will you have a type for everyone?

Shinkawa: That wasn’t the intention, but... (laughs)

Interviewer: When was this drawn?

Shinkawa: I think it was around the end of last year. Huh? Around six months ago. Time sure fly quickly! I drew it for a magazine ad.

Interviewer: I heard the Ninja was your idea.

Shinkawa:That’s right. But originally there was a trio. They would say something like “Worya! Trinity Attack!” and they were going to have random kanji characters on their backs such as flame (炎) or horse (馬) without any particular significance.

Interviewer: “Fire” doesn’t seem so unreasonable, but why “horse”?

Shinkawa: I’ve mentioned “horse” as a joke, but that sort of thing happens very often, doesn’t it? When it comes to the image of Japan from a foreign perspective, while the outline is the same, the finer details differ. I like that kind of thing. The finalized design of the Ninja is and isn’t a ninja. If nobody told you he was a ninja, you wouldn’t think of him as one. But if someone points out that he must be a ninja because he has some ninja-like parts if you look at him closely, then you might think of him as one.

Interviewer: Is that so? That’s the Shinkawa magic!

Shinkawa: (laughs) What’s that?

Interviewer: I think I’ve seen this artwork a long time ago.

Shinkawa: It was first published around a year ago.

Interviewer: I see. So why did you draw it like an American comic book?

Shinkawa: Well, in reality I was going for a BD-style. Doesn’t it look like that?

Interviewer: I’m sorry, but what does BD mean?

Shinkawa: It stands for bande dessinée, which is the term for graphic novels in France. It means “sequential art”.

Interviewer: Huh, I did not know. So, is there a particular reason why you chose the BD-style?

Shinkawa: Of course! There is a reason. While talking to Mr. Kojima during the early stages, he said “Alright! Let’s turn Metal Gear into B.D” as a conceptual image. So I drew a few illustrations like that. This one was used as promotional art.

Interviewer: I see. So that’s the reason. And this one was perfect for a promotional artwork. Huh! Why is Gatse Becker [the BCPD chief from Policenauts] there?

Shinkawa: That’s not him. (laughs) It’s the Secretary of Defense [Jim Houseman]... Jeez... (While saying this, Shinkawa’s mouse keeps hovering on Mei-Ling for some reason.)

Interviewer: (nervous face) Uhh... Mei-Ling’s skirt seems awfully short... By the way, will you be able to shake the female characters’ breasts like in Policenauts?

Shinkawa:...That’s classified information!

Interviewer: Well, here’s REX. Is there anything particularly different about this Metal Gear model?

Shinkawa: The Metal Gears in the previous two games had weak legs, so this new version has a strengthened lower body. During the initial planning I came up with several illustrations and settings, but the finalized version was settled pretty quickly.

Interviewer: How so?

Shinkawa: Since it was going to be turned into a polygon model, I made it into an actual model in order to solidify its conceptual image and verify its functions.

Interviewer: Is that so? Please show the model to me.

Shinkawa: Of course! REX was designed purely as a weapon, so it’s not exactly a heroic mecha. I decided on a dinosaur-like design like this one, since it conveyed a scary and grim image.

Shinkawa: There are three types of enemy soldiers shown here. From left to right: we have the light infantry, the heavy infantry and the arctic warfare soldier (nicknamed Yukinko by the developers). There’s also a gas mask-wearing fourth type.

Interviewer: Were you given any sort of references to use?

Shinkawa: I had books and photos that were given to me by Mr. Motosada Mori (MGS’s military advisor).

Interviewer: All the enemy soldiers have their faces covered up. Was that decided because they were terrorists?

Shinkawa: That’s certainly something that could be think of, but there’s actually more important reasons.

Interviewer: Huh? Explain!

Shinkawa: Simply put, we needed to reduce the number of polygons.

Interviewer: Is that really the reason?

Shinkawa: If you want to draw faces on your characters, you have to use quite a few polygons to get them to a satisfactory level, which ends up consuming too much resources. When taking into consideration the game as a whole, you got no choice but to trim certain parts. It’s a shame, but in the end I think the finalized designs suit the enemy soldiers better.

Interviewer: It’s a matter of balancing supply and demand. By the way, I really like the helmet worm by the Heavily Armed Troops. You don’t see them often in the game though.

Shinkawa: Well that helmet is an original design. Like everything, I try to keep things intuitive for game-playing purposes. The enemy soldiers are color-coded from left to right: brown, green and white, plus yellow for the gas mask-wearing soldiers.

Interviewer: There are indeed a variety of schemes. By the way, the arctic warfare soldiers are layered with clothing. Snake spends most of the game in arctic environments, but he isn’t wearing that much. Why is that?

Shinkawa: He’s wearing a high-tech suit.

Interviewer: You said it so bluntly... (laughs) One last nitpicky question. Who does the laundry in the base?

Shinkawa: They use a laundry machine. (laughs)

Metal Gear REX Model Photos

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guksthighs · 6 years

Text

To The Boy I’ve Always Loved || knj

CHAPTER: ONE | TWO | END

Summary: It’s the last two months of fake dating Namjoon and you’re forced to get more intimate - not that you’re complaining since youve been crushing on him for as long as you can remember.

Genre: fluff, angst, eventual smut

Length: 1.5k

Aes: @petrimyg - she’s truly amazing and creates the most beautiful aesthetics !!

A/N: i watched to all the boys i’ve ever loved and wanted to write a fake dating au !! so here is a homage to that but better because namjoon is involved,, !!

this will be a 3 part series!! THIS IS PART ONE !!

The slam of the front door stirred Namjoon from his sleep, dreary-eyed he stretched his legs and arms above him before sitting up and rubbing a hand over his face before calling out, “welcome home honey!”

The sound of footsteps increased in sound and he grinned as his door swung open as you stormed in, “don’t call me that! Our rules said only use endearments outside of the apartment!”

Namjoon bit his lip as he tried to hide his smile whilst watching you try and look stern before you both started to laugh. The laughter quelled for a few seconds before Namjoon next spoke, “I just can’t contain all of this love.”

Your laughter stopped as you raised an eyebrow at his comment before clearing your throat awkwardly, as you did whenever Namjoon flirted with you and instead changed the topic, “you haven’t eaten breakfast, you night owl-”

“I’ll have it now,” he smiled, watching as you picked your way through the scattered clothes and books. You stopped when your knees brushed against his beige knitted blanket to reach over him and pull open the curtain to reveal the midday sun.

Namjoon looked up at you and felt an urge to push himself up and kiss your chin, and your collarbones so lightly that he’d make you giggle. He longed to see you smile, really smile instead of the forced laughter he’d just heard. But there was little he could do without ruining everything.

There had been an awkward feeling between both of you ever since he’d announced it was only two more months of fake dating. Namjoon quickly reminded himself of all the small squabbles you’d gotten through during your friendship and decided not to think about it anymore.

You heaved a sigh and turned on your heel before stumbling out of his room, shoulders slouched in a way Namjoon could only link to you being tired. He made a mental note to talk to find a way to help you with your sleeping.

“You’re really not a morning person,” he called after you to receive the sound of a door slam as a reply - well, more of a confirmation of how bad you were in the mornings. Namjoon walked out of his room and smiled at the sight of his large apartment, bigger than his single friends all because you were fake dating him.

The housing system of your university was biased to couples and offered much nicer housing to old relationships, if given proof, which Namjoon and you had plenty of because of your friendship that had existed since you were kids.

So Namjoon has approached you with the idea to fake dating and you’d agreed, thinking it would be nice to spend time alone with him. However quickly you’d realised you weren’t comfortable kissing Namjoon or even hugging him in public.

Namjoon spoke under his breath as he got ready, “maybe i should just tell her.” He shook his head and pulled on a pair of ripped trousers, “no I can’t risk ruining everything or even worse-” he pulled his head through a grey sweatshirt, his head popping through so he could finish his statement, “we could lose the dorm.”

As he emerged from his room, Namjoon felt firm in his beliefs that the dorm master hadn’t figured out what was happening which meant everything was okay for now and he knew you would start to feel better soon.

But the second his gaze landed on you, seated by the window staring out of it, Namjoon’s heart felt heavy before you turned to look at him with a sad smile, “The air feels heavy today,”

He blinked, surprised at how blunt you had been. Did you really feel like things were awkward between you? But as Namjoon went to question your statement you turned away from facing him, “I think there’s going to be a storm later.”

The sky was a bright blue with students lounging around the campus wearing very little clothing and he felt like there was something else on your mind that wasn’t just the weather. Namjoon swallowed hard and clenched his jaw before walking towards you with the intention of not leaving until you were smiling again.

But just as he was getting close you whipped around, “you know you’re ten minutes late for class already, right?” You watched earnestly as Namjoon dropped the plate he was holding and stared at you with wide eyes because he was certain last he’d checked that he had an hour.

A snort broke the silence as you burst into laughter, falling forward onto the sofa and shoving your face into a pillow to stifle your laughter. “You were joking?” He asked tentatively and watched you kick your feet into the sofa as if trying to rid yourself of the joy of shocking your friend.

With a gasp for air, you looked up and nodded, causing Namjoon to let out a long sigh and climb onto the sofa where he proceeded to take out his phone and tweet about the injustice of your pranks.

As the elder boy sat typing he felt a pressure on his lap, glancing down to find your head resting on his thighs the way you used to do when you were teenagers. There was a certain normality to your skinship meaning it wasn’t embarrassing but as you shifted to nuzzle into his stomach Namjoon felt his heart flutter and frowned to himself.

The blush that spread across his cheeks following most interactions with you had become normal to Namjoon and every minute or so he would glance down at you. He bit his lip as he tried to stop himself from smiling like a dork when he watched you bite your tongue and squint your eyes as you tried to read something on your phone.

In what felt like no time at all Namjoon was aware that he needed to leave or else he was going to be late, glancing down at his lap he let out a heavy sigh at the sight of your sleeping form. He didn’t want to wake you up, slowly moving his large hands to cradle your head and rest it on the sofa as Namjoon stood up and after grabbing his bag, sprinted out of the apartment.

The halls were empty save for a few students he recognised from his classes who greeted Namjoon with a nod as they also power walked down the stairs. He was practically sprinting out of the door when a teacher moved to stand in front of him causing Namjoon to stumble over his feet and almost trip.

He looked up and clenched his jaw as fear coursed through his body at the sight of the dorm master standing in front of him with a stern look on his face,

“Kim Namjoon, I need to speak to you.”

“This is a joke,” you looked up at Namjoon, who had just run into your apartment and shouted for you before slamming into your room and relaying the warning the dorm master had just given him.

“Not a joke.”

“We have to go on the couple events that are run?” You laughed at the idea as if you hadn’t dreamt of sitting in a dark cinema next to Namjoon as he placed his arm over your shoulder. As if your daydreams didn’t consist of feeling his arms around you and hearing him whisper those three words like any normal couple.

But you had a part to play and you played it well.

Namjoon laughed along with you, sinking into the sofa next to you and pulling his laptop from his bag to search for date ideas before turning to you with that infectious wide dimpled smile, “It’s a joke but we’re going to do it right?”

You nodded and leant your head on his shoulder to watch the ideas he was writing down in a notebook next to him, “this means more PDA?” Namjoon nodded and interlinked your hand with his free one, assuming you were stressed about embarrassing yourself by being publicly affectionate with him.

In reality, you were just scared to get used to this fake love and when it was over you’d be unable to be friends with him without feeling like your heart had been shattered. It was a tough balancing act but when he squeezed your hand, you squeezed back wondering if you could convey your emotional turmoil through simple pressure.

“You’ve always liked holding hands,” Namjoon laughed lightly before pulling up the original document of your relationship agreement and you both heaved a sigh wondering why you thought you’d be able to get through a year with rule three ( ’limited PDA’ ) and rule five ( no kissing ) specifically.

With a loud groan, you yanked the laptop onto your lap and began typing up a revised edition of the rules with glances towards Namjoon every now and then when he made a noise of approval.

Soon enough you were sure that you’d be able to stay in the apartment until the end of the year, you and Namjoon could be the perfect couple - even if you were using rules so you could hide your feelings for your childhood friend.

NEXT >>

If you enjoyed this, please do not hesitate to like, reblog and comment~

And tell me your thoughts in the comments/ask box <3

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athingofvikings · 5 years

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It takes a certain--unfortunately widespread--brand of self-absorbed, self-congratulatory arrogance to leave a review so vile that every person that has looked at it has gone some variety of Ewwwww! and then, when defending it, managed to dig a deeper hole.��

And doing that digging by presenting themselves as objective and free from bias while using the r-slur, as well as casually implying that the author, who has taken great pains to be fair and not bash, is now and will be biased. Quote, “I think you should be really careful with how you write Jews, especially after admitting to be one. While they had it pretty bad at the time I think you are making them too good“

This, among some other antisemitic comments I’ve gotten, just a few days after the latest synagogue shooting... yeah, I’m just tired.

Meanwhile, I wanted to publicly thank @kalessinsdaughter and @primedoverlord for responding to the guy, because I didn’t have the spoons to do so.

The asshole’s full review is under the cut, along with their replies:

[Asshole Username Redacted] chapter 84 . Apr 30

Well, I think I should finally drop a review here. I'm going to be honest, there are "fanfics" and then there are Fanfics and this one is of the latter. You know what I mean? One of those stories you want to read and which have you counting the days for the next update? Well, that's what you wrote. While sometimes I yearn for the setting to be more like "canon" in general I love what you did to this world, to tie together real life with HTTYD. I love the characters and the developments and even if some stuff is a little hard to believe in general I think the narrative works pretty well. Overall this is one of the few fics I would recommend to other people, especially for its historical fidelity. Now, I'm mostly happy with this story but there is some stuff that I don't quite like that much (not even saying it is objectively bad, just from personal preference). I think "progressive Berk" is nice but somewhere along the line you went a little too far. Not in the sense that it is distracting or bad, just that strains suspension of disbelief a little. Though you made efforts to show not all of Berk is that good, so it evens out mostly. Now, what I find actually somewhat annoying and can't decide if it is due to character bias or something supported by the narrative is in relation to the religion. I think your general depiction of Christianity is good enough, especially for the latest chapters as you show that the Church has a lot of problems but isn't cackling EVIL! Little things like the monk who helped the escaped serf or Henry the Black are good to show that Magnus and his people aren't the exception to the rule. I do think you are being overly generous with the Norse religion and culture. Moat European religions weren't very understanding in general and all had traditions or costumes we would found deplorable. This has the problem of making Hiccup come across as very hypocritical, especially when "burn rape and pillage" is considered a quick way to "heaven" for his religion. But of course this could be on purpose. I think you should be really careful with how you write Jews, especially after admitting to be one. While they had it pretty bad at the time I think you are making them too good and Fishlegs inner monologue doesn't help. Basically they are a universally good people who did no wrong ever and who don't have bad people period. They aren't any worse or better than anyone else but the story doesn't reflect this very well. I think Fishlegs should get rid of his pink tinted glasses sooner than later, even if he still cares deeply about his ancestor's people. Well, except for that I once again repeat that your story is superb and excitedly await for more chapters.

@primedoverlord chapter 84 . Apr 30

[Redacted] You say "be careful writing Jewish characters" and yet you tear into him for being honest? I honestly think you should re-read A Thing of Vikings, and pay really close attention to the tiny details you otherwise overlooked [redacted]. I also strongly recommend watching your wording, because the way you commented here makes you sound antisemitic and pretentious.

[Redacted] Apr 30

Hmmm, while I don't think it was that ambiguous I guess that as the one who wrote it my intent will always be clearer to me than to those reading it. So for the sake of avoiding q misunderstanding I can clarify what I was trying to say. No, I'm not saying something retarded as "dur dur jews are evulz" as my fellow commenter seems to imply I was doing. I was instead pointing out that you have shown that independent of their religion, nationality or ethnicity people are good or bad because of who they are and how they were raised. That your "identity" doesn't define who you are but only gives you a conext for your actions. This is important because as of yet you haven't shown this with only the Jewish people (mostly because we only have a few named characters and they happened to be good people) but that this added to Fishlegs basically fanboying over his heritage (I mean seriously, just look at the latest chapter) and that you declared yourself as part of this group males you come across as biased. Personally I don't think you are but as you may know appearances/ reality. So I was mostly saying this so you can avoid this kind of accusation and because it didn't completely fit with what we have seem of everyone else.

@kalessinsdaughter May 1

Just offering you some constructive criticism, [Redacted]: The wording you chose, "... be really careful with how you write Jews, especially after /admitting to be one/." (my emphasis) doesn't seem at all ambiguous. Rather, it comes across as offensive in that it suggests that being Jewish is something one "admits to", as if it were something bad. If you want to avoid appearing anti-semitic, I suggest that you consider rephrasing your statement using less negatively charged words. Also, you might want to revise your initial comment and the follow up reply for consistency, since they appear in part contradictory: If you do realise that there hasn't been time yet to develop the few Jewish characters for complexity in the story, then why did you criticise the—perfectly natural—lack of complexity in the first place? As it is, that inconsistency makes you come across as insincere. Another thing you might want to consider is expanding your analysis of Fishlegs' rosy tinted view of his ancestors' people, to give it some depth. I feel you are omitting two important issues: one is the almost mythical status of said ancestor in the tribe, and the other is the very short time he has had to really get to know any of the Jews he has befriended. That omission makes you seem overly eager to find fault with this particular story arc. I think you should take better care not to appear as one of those who hold non-Christian authors to higher standards than Christian authors, and whose response to minorities depicted from their own perspective is "How dare you not show this abused minority as being just as flawed as the majority?" Now, one thing I find quite refreshing is that you don't romanticise Norse religion the way so many people do. However, you seem to be disregarding the fact that the author has repeatedly pointed out that Berk in this story is an oddity, and in no way representative of Norse religion and culture in general. That makes your objection moot. Again, it's an omission that could easily be seen as a deliberate attempt to find fault, which is why I would advise you to consider revising that part of your criticism as well. On the whole, your objections on how different religions are depicted run the risk of sounding like you're counting the sprinkles on the cake frosting for "fairness", as it were, or like you're making a sort of generalised /tu quoque/ fallacy. You might want to avoid that kind of thing, if you really want to appear unbiased. On a final note, surrounding extensive, and very specific criticism with a few lines of general and nonspecific praise (some of which in itself contains disguised criticism) is a tactic I think you should avoid. While it can work sometimes, it more often signals an insincerity of purpose that is counterproductive. I hope you take my advice as it is intended: not to infer that you are insincere or biased, but rather to help you avoid such accusations.

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zebraslovescupcakestoo · 5 years

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An entry journal of a normal kid.

(A Kingdom Hearts/SVTFOE/Harry Potter/ Epic Mickey/ BBTIM AU)

Entry of an earth kid, day 106.

Hello private journal. It's me again, Felix Lockheart.

Before I start writing in another crazy adventure I had that sounded that came straight out of a fantasy magical princess fiction, although in this this case, magical 'princes,' I wished to revised on the summary and reflect on these past few months since then.

Before my life took a twisted 'magical' turn, it was almost upside down. I was just a quiet, average teenager that is one year away to get my beginner’s licence for a 50cc scooter. I don't have many friends apart from acquaintances and my family consisted a chief policemen who's my father, a older single mother of a sister who's doing just fine and kids of her own that are twins, which are at the time, quite a hand full!

What I meant is that I was almost a lone wolf, awkward socialist. I was one of those type of teenage boys who tried to be cool yet I have that geeky side of me who's interested in detective novels from Sherlock to Poirot, and Nancy Drew to Case Closed. I have an unusual talent of finding the details that most people missed and sometimes... it makes me distant from people. No matter how hard I tried to be normal, the other kids were treating me as an outcast, without the 'bullying' part on most days.

I tried numerous times to have some shed of acceptance until that one faithful day that I met my two new friends.

Oswald and Mickey Disney.

It started almost three months ago, March the XX, I got called in the principal office during a history test, which I luckily finished before the announcement was made. I was a bit worried, I do wanted to be noticed among my peers but NOT as a delinquent.

Upon arriving at the principal office, my first impression is 'what are those two who's appearances look like they've just graduated from kindergarten here and what does it have to do with me?' and there was my father and the principal himself.

Long story short, I was 'elected' by the principal and the teachers to be their tour guide while my father, who's constantly very busy at work, had explained to me that we will be having these 'foreign exchange students' living in our home... and that 'I' was the one to take care of them... I was in complete shock, mentally disturbed and thought is my life going to get weirder than it is?

That would be one of my biggest asking mistake I would have ever made.

I told myself at the time, that this is nothing special and that it will pass. It all started when we, me and the two bizarre guys, had just finished showing around the halls and a couple empty classrooms.

I wanted to write here a couple of reminder notes about the two 'foreign kids' that turns out to be unique if anyone new.

The first one I want to talk about is Mickey Disney, the younger sibling. I would describe him as the up-beat, enthusiastic, sun shine, positive, semi-innocent, lovable little brother. He is a very popular, well-liked kid even in my world. (I will explain in a bit!) Although sometimes, he acts like he's younger than his age but it is without cruel intention.

The second one I needed to talk about is the elder sibling, Oswald Disney. Also known as 'the type of guy I wished to be but can't cause it ain't happening!' He is what I describe the 'dark mysterious prince' type. He's the calm and collected, down-to-earth guy and he's probably likes to get on my nerves from time to time just to tease me... He's what I'd like to called the blue power ranger type. He's probably fit in with the cool kids much better even with whatever he's wearing at the time.

Back to the first day flash back, it was in the cafeteria that sparked our first 'mishap adventures' of the day and so on.

I've just finished showing and explaining the function of the cafeteria and which seat to avoid due to the 'clique systems' that was still a tradition in this school. While it's true that the faculties had enforced anti-bullying and zero tolerance policy, some of the kids had found some loop holes and it was a bit sneaky from one stand point.

The two brother's asked why but before I had to explained, the lunch rush started and the popular kids were at the front of the line. Upon look at me, they were snickering, laughing and they must have thought that I finally 'belong' to a group... of weirdos.

Mickey then asked me why are they laughing and I lied to him that it was nothing. But Oswald on the other hand, told him the cold hard truth that they were laughing at us and that they were mean. That made his unusual, heart shaped, cheek marks glow in a deep red tone when he made an angry expression and he 'marched' towards the popular kids. I immediately tried my best to pull him back but he was very strong and didn't even flinch when I pulled him back. He's smaller than I am yet I'm older...

Upon sawing their 'new' younger student, they just raised an eyebrow before he asked why are they laughing at me. One of them just plainly yet made some sort of an mocking English tone like Mickey doesn't understand our language, just when he clearly said it flawlessly to them. That triggered him to cast some sort of spell from his hands and into the tomato sauce which cause the saucy food to transform into one of those slime looking monsters. It almost attack one of the now frighten kids until the other 'foreign' student, Oswald cast some other spell that caused the tomato sauce monster disperse into a big splattered mess all over them and the cafeteria. He also cast another spell that makes them 'forget' on what just happened after Mickey ducked me down and then once he cast it, they quickly made the popular kids hold big spoon to look as if they were the ones who caused it before pulling me away from the scene. I remembered those 'star struck' dazed look when they had their memories erased while I was dragged out to the nearest empty classroom.

Just when the people outside of the classroom were all coming after the situation in the cafeteria, I almost blasted out until Oswald covered my mouth to keep quiet a bit longer while Mickey cast another spell that causes the room we're in to be 'inaccessible' for the normal people like me... THEN I started to freak out and demanded what the heck are they REALLY are.

That’s when Mickey revealed with a rainbow effect magic that they are magical princes from another dimension. I was still in a blank state of mind until Oswald snap his fingers to appear his Compact Communication and showed me a video message of their grandfather, who is the current king of the 'other dimension' they said they belong to.

I've already mentioned this at the beginning of this journal, but I will rewrite it in this part again for a better understanding.

It began with his introduction as the king of the place called Toonland. His name is King Yen Sid. He is currently the ruler of that world until he retired his crown to his son-in-law when he had his coronation after weeks marrying his daughter. Years passed and they have kids together which is Oswald and Mickey until one faithful day, there was the horrible Black Ink Disaster that invaded their kingdom, almost destroyed the whole kingdom with it's powers until their parents had to made a very difficult decision. They had to 'sealed' the black ink disaster in exchange of their lives...

I remembered that moment when I glanced behind Oswald's Compact Communication device, I can see Mickey's eyes filled with sadness and Oswald's painful expression upon the mention of their parents.

Since then, Yen Sid had to reclaim his position as king due to the fact that his grandsons were still too young at that time and they needed to complete their magical training before they can try for their Keyblade training at the age of sixteen. This was a needed requirement in their world in order to become the next king.

And here I was thinking that there's nothing more dangerous than my sister's first attempt in driving lessons. I was proven wrong again.

So upon the years they were growing up, they've developed in their separate ways their unique skills. If all worked well, both the brothers would be able to stand a winning chance against the black ink monster and freed their parents.

So just to keep it short, they decided to 'train' them with a compatible 'familiar,' which was needed for training, and among the counselors, Keyblade masters, sorcerers, yadda yadda yadda, they pin pointed- drum roll please....

Me. I was the only person in the whole 'dimensions' who can help them. BOTH of them.

Yeah, I know. Quite a load full to take in...

Looking back, it was quite a school year for me. Not only in my daylight hours, but also in my evenings and weekends.

Like my father had said, they moved in our home. I wondered if he ever asked any questions beyond their appearances, like how and why are they're here. Later I found out from Mickey who innocently said in a private conversation between us two that Yen Sid had 'convinced' him to take them in in my care... Guess the apple didn't fall off far from the family tree...

Since I was old enough to be left alone at nights, I was used to being on my own. I ordered take outs or cook my meals for one and then spend my time to do almost whatever I want due to the fact that I did mentioned that my father is a chief policemen. I also wanted to write a statement that just because my dad is a high ranking policemen, doesn't mean I can get away with anything and that I am responsible enough to take care of myself.

The only new problem was is that these two, at the time, weren't exactly the best roommates. When we first arrived at my house, Mickey was like a child who'd seen the outside world and visited his friend's house for the very first time. Oswald on the other hand, just stands there and examined every details from where I was standing. When he walked up to the door and reached the handle, it was locked. He kicked it down before I could get the chance to take out my house keys.

It was also the same time that I had to lay out the rules starting no kicking down locked door unless it was an emergency.

I've already written many of our early adventures from the beginning of this journal, but here were a few short stories to remind me:

Our founded 'neighbor's club' from day two with just us three.

The lecture of the Toonland history and reenactments of certain events.

Learned more about Mickey's life and Oswald's.

The second part of our tour guide to the gym and how we barely escaped the jocks for using dodge balls. By the Disney's magic again!

The library trip that ended up in a unicorn brawl.

Learned more on their life stories.

Learned about one of their adversaries, the ink minions and heartless, that travels from worlds to dimensions and 'attack' the normal people.

Help them with more complicated spells by being at their side.

Learned MORE about their lives....

And more stories goes on and on. I also wrote in this journal about the time our bonds grew deeper which I've already wrote it several times before...

Mickey have grown to be more responsible and well behaved since coming to my world. I knew in the beginning that he was thinking about his citizens, his family and that he loves them a lot. Especially to his big brother he said that he looks up to. He eventually learned to control his magic well and learned that he needs to think before he acts. Especially if he's willing to help others.

One story time, he told me that he wanted to grow vegetables even bigger to combat a famine crisis from one town over in his dimension. He did the spell successfully, but unknown to anyone, there was a praying mantis that got caught in his spell... Just to show he IS a nice guy, just sometimes things got off sided for him and that he didn't meant any harm.

Oswald also had grown in his personalty as well. At first, I thought he just needed to learn not to kick down doors. Boy, was I wrong! I will not lie, he was so bad with people that it made me more of an approachable person! I then learned more about him that he had lost a dear friend from an early age and he was almost over it until the 'Black Ink Disaster' happened that took their parents. It almost made him shut down completely if it wasn't for his grandfather and his little brother to come around, but it made him became more distant from people, including his own people.

I wouldn't be lying in this entry if I never understood why he would felt that way. If I'd lost someone who's dear and close to me, I'd be avoiding anyone just for not feeling the fear of losing someone again. Eventually, he learns to be more opened and kind to other people, after we had a conversation or two.

He was much more mature and on my level, but he was just as difficult to handle as much as his little brother sometimes.

Despite all of that, they manage to grew stronger in their magical abilities and in their character developments. I would almost considered them lucky to have those responsibilities from someone like me who's just an average kid that involves trying not to get into trouble and getting good grades. Which is another bundle of stories that I can always read back from previous entries.

The only problem is that their main threats, now including mine, were the Black Ink Minions and the Heartless that I've previously mentioned over and over again in here. Seems like these low level monsters are after the princes' lives, but unfortunately for them, they are NOT underestimated when it comes to combats.

Among training lessons stories that I wrote in this, I also wrote their battles, especially the big and special ones that stood out most.

At first they were mostly going after them. Over time, they became aware that I was a friend of them and from then on, I was their target too. Eventually, I did manage to learn self defense thanks to them, but I was still a bit short from the big leagues where they are since I don't have magical abilities.

After one high school year passed and one week before summer vacation starts, we had an unexpected visit from their grandfather and my old man who wanted to discus all three of us spending time together in their home country for the summer since we are such close friends and that I deserved a 'peaceful retreat.'

Which was understood in this world among the normal people who doesn't know the 'REAL' story...

When my father went to the kitchen to make a phone call arrangement for my passport, the king had cast the 'casing' spell just for all four of us to prevent future interruptions from the real time. Like it's frozen in time except for us.

Now the REAL reason on why us three needed back in Toonland is cause the princes were needed to aid the now immediate threat to all of us. Turns out there was two people who are commanding the Black Ink Minster's minions and then there was another one who commands the heartless. Despite their King's magical abilities and his best warriors at hand, they still needed help.

Thus came a big yet risky decision from the counsels and Keyblade masters alike that the princes will be required to learn the art of the Keyblade as soon as I finished my school days...

Just my black, cat luck! I spent most of my year in a school and I will be spending my summer vacation in another school. The only highlight is now it's my turn to take a breather since I'm their 'familiar' and I don't need to do much. Their subject studies and mines were very separate 'subjects' from each other, OK?

Then, fast forwards to my last day of school, I was relieved for a brief moment once the final bell rang. I sat at that desk a few more seconds while the rest of the kids bursts out of that door frame. It looks like a scene where the puppies were going all out at once, only this time the door was almost ripped off. I left second last kid from school so that I don't get run over from heels and wheels. When I arrived home, I was mentally prepared to face another three months in another school unknown to my family. What I DIDN'T expect is that the two brothers had already packed almost everything in my room in one of their own trunks that happens to be the same ones they've packed with when THEY arrived. (If I have a 'realistic' wish, I want those kinds of suitcases. It will help me move much better in the future!)

My family, included my sister and nephews at the time, wanted to wish me a safe and fun summer in their 'foreign' country before I left. Inky and Winky wanted to go with me, but my sister wanted to let me have my own time...

If only they knew them just as well as I do. They both had SUCH a hard time on understanding personal space in the first few days!

I have already wrote down there the method on how the heck did we traveled in another dimension, so just to keep it short recap, They ran THROUGH that brick wall in that naked part of a museum. I almost felt like one those stupid guys in JACK@&& that got caught in one of their pranks. The only saving grace from getting our face smashed in was their magic to open up the portal. We were then landed in the royal court of Toonlan's castle.

I was greeted by the whole kingdom. I'm talking about the commoners, royalties, merchants, aristocrats, you name it under one big castle!

...and my first interaction with them is that I arrived landing on my face on the red carpet. You know, THOSE first awkward impressions. Welp! I had worse...

Thankfully, they were in great cheers when they noticed that the princes arrived with me. So I guess that means that they were popular and very well liked. Unlike me who's aside a stranger in their land, I was an outcast as usual... even if I'm right in between them the entire reunion.

If ever I ask for a brother complex, these guys would be at the top of the list. Mickey was the center of attention without making a scene and everybody was attracted to him. Oswald on the other hand, I wanted to say he's more like 'playing it cool' and he's surrounded by the mature audiences and the 'cool kids' crowd... Even in this dimension, I would still be out of place. The only thing I did was standing near the appetizers that looks almost like a buffet for aliens... I'll skip the details of it to spare you from vomiting in this journal.

Suddenly Mickey rushed over to get me and dragged me to his circle of variety of friends. They seemed like they've been from a kid's cartoon characters with bright, colorful and positive attitudes. I also heard that Mickey will be enrolled in those Keyblade mastery classes in a day or two and that he's gonna be in the Hufflepuff Sorority in that school called Hogwarts. Sounds too familiar... I think I've read it in a book ages ago. Then Oswald came and asked them if he can 'borrow' me for a while too. Almost everyone's attitude changed except his little brother, like one of THE coolest older kid just walked in from their Pokemon trading card game. I way stared down by the 'cool kids' like in my world, but they didn't picked on me like they would. At least not yet. They seemed like they were fine with me and my awkwardness and then got introduced by one of the teachers of the sororities. Oswald was accepted in the Ravenclaw Sorority... That got me worried when I realized one tiny problem.

If I'm both their familiar, how can I be at their sides if their houses host different classes from each other? I mean, I've haven't been in colleague yet and have zero idea of their life styles, especially here, but if they're in different houses, how can they practice without me being there? Even if they can do it on their own, they still need me for backup.

It was more than their spell boosts. One time when we fought off a blueberry jam glob monster that Mickey accidentally cast a multi-spell to make more blueberry jam cause we ran out and it was big and it nearly ate him. I unconsciously grabbed a peanut butter jar and it was afraid of it. He lets go of Mickey and thankfully Oswald can in to save the day by casting an oblivion spell. (This spell is hard to master from what they said. Yikes!)

But my worries were then put to rest when I was told later by their grandfather that they'll be taught together and that we will not be separated. Also, most of the teachers will be visiting here instead of us coming over unless we came for a visit. Part of me was a bit relieved that I don't NEED to be in another prison cell like school, but at the same time, I wanted to see what it's like in there... I mean, one of them had a dragon at the party as a familiar for Pete’s sake! And it was only a few months old when I asked.

Anyways, I think I've sum it all up for now. We are indeed to start those training in a day or two. All of the things from my room is now set up by magic and that 'our' bed is a king sized one that can easily fit all three of us... I sometimes asked why can't we get a separate one. Then I was told is to 'bond' to my 'user' and that it eases them...

Sounds like it's an excuse for a 'too close for comfort' resort. Anyways, I will write in a new journal soon since this is my last entry here and I need more space to write.

I hope that in my next journal, I can write my adventures here in Toonland and discover more stories about the royal Disney family.

Singed: Felix Lockheart.

----Author’s Notes------

I hope that you like another one shot. I used multiple AU universes but it’s mostly on Star Vs The Forces Of Evil. I really LOVED the third and fourth season and that I wished that I would have watched the first two before that.

Now, I just wanted to say one thing before I forget, I did heard about the Harry potter series but I’ve been ‘banned’ to read/watched them when I was growing up. For separate reasons. I’ve only used the wiki fir house sororities references and a couple of movie clips for story purposes.

Anyways, I hope that you enjoyed a fun fanfic and I hope you have a fantastic day!

Kingdom Hearts, SVTFOE, Harry Potter, and Epic Mickey are under Disney.

BBTIM AU and Characters belongs to Marini4.

#kingdom #hearts #kingdom hearts #star vs the forces of evil #harry potter #epic mickey #Bendy and the Ink Machine #bendy before the ink machine #alternate universe #humanized #felix #felix the cat #mickey #mouse #mickey mouse #oswald the lucky rabbit #oswald #fanfiction #marini4

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howwelldoyouknowyourmoon · 6 years

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Word and deed in the Unification Church – Rabbi A. James Rudin investigates

A VIEW OF THE UNIFICATION CHURCH

Presented by Rabbi A. James Rudin

Assistant National Director of Interreligious Affairs, The American Jewish Committee

at the American Academy of Religion Convention

San Francisco, California, December 29, 1977

Even as the Unification Church has every right in our pluralistic society to present its claims within the religious marketplace of ideas, so do we have every right to examine and analyze those claims in the light of our own studies, experiences, and faith commitments. I deeply believe that a religious movement must be judged not only by what it teaches but also by what it does; the deed is just as important as the creed. The Unification Church is no exception.

My paper will thus examine two aspects of the Unification Church:

1) Its specific teachings about Jews and Judaism and

2) the impact and results of the Unification Church’s teachings upon a significant number of its members. [revealing testimonies below]

In my study, (“Jews and Judaism in Reverend Moon’s Divine Principle,” The American Jewish Committee, December 1976) I assert that “my systematic analysis of this 536-page document (Divine Principle) reveals an orientation of almost unrelieved hostility toward, the Jewish people, exemplified in pejorative language, stereotyped imagery, and sweeping accusations of collective sin and guilt. Whether he is discussing the ‘Israelites’ of the Hebrew Bible or the ‘Jews’ as referred to in writings of the New Testament period, Reverend Moon portrays their behavior as reprobate, their intention evil (often diabolical), and their religious mission as eclipsed. There are over thirty-six specific references in Divine Principle to the Israelites of the Hebrew Bible—every one of them pejorative.” Three examples citing collective faithlessness make the point: “The Israelites all fell into faithlessness” (p. 315), “All the Israelites centering on Moses fell into faithlessness” (p. 319), and “The Israelites repeatedly fell into faithlessness” (p. 343). (Emphasis added)

Unification Church supporters claim that such references actually reflect the Hebrew Bible and present a fair description of early Israelite communal life. For me, it is a limp and highly defensive argument. In all cases of alleged Israelite errors and stubbornness, the hope of redemption and atonement was always present. The Hebrew Bible credits the people with the ability to repent. Divine Principle seeks to discredit the ancient Israelites in order to transfer God’s heritage to another people. Incidentally, the words “faithless” and “faithlessness” nowhere appear in the Hebrew Bible.

In similar fashion, Divine Principle records some sixty-five specific examples and references reflecting the attitudes and behavior of the Jewish people towards Jesus and its role in his crucifixion—again, every one of them is hostile and anti-Jewish. A few examples will suffice: “…due to the Jewish people’s disbelief in Jesus, all were destined to hell” (p. 146), …“we can see that Jesus’ crucifixion was the result of the ignorance and disbelief of the Jewish people…” (p. 145), “As a matter of fact, Satan confronted Jesus, working through the Jewish people, centering on the chief priests and scribes who had fallen faithless, and especially through Judas Iscariot, the disciple who had betrayed Jesus” (p. 357), “Nevertheless, due to the Jewish people’s rebellion against him, the physical body of Jesus was delivered into the hands of Satan as the condition of ransom for the restoration of the Jews and the whole of mankind back to God’s bosom; his body was invaded by Satan” (p. 510). The last two statements, linking the Jews to Satan, go beyond even the infamous deicide charge—“Christ killer”—that has been hurled for so long against the Jewish people.

Apologists for the Unification Church claim that the Divine Principle passages dealing with this controversial subject have only indicted the “Jewish priests and leaders,” not the people. Yet the record speaks otherwise: the “Jewish people” in their collectivity are implicated time and time again in Divine Principle. The four examples cited here are illustrative of many other selections.

The anti-Jewish thrust of this theological document carries forth into an interpretation of Jewish history and of the current status of Jews and Judaism. There are nearly thirty such references and all are hostile, generally reflecting the worst aspects of traditional Christian displacement theology, and viewing the persecution of the Jews across the ages as punishment for their sins. Thus “Due to the Israelites’ faithlessness, the Jewish nation was destroyed” (p. 431), “God’s heritage has been taken, away from the Jewish people” (p. 519), and the “chosen nation of Israel has been punished for the sin of rejecting Jesus and crucifying Him” (p. 226). Reverend Moon brings the readers up to modern times:

Jesus came as the Messiah; but due to the disbelief of, and persecution by the people he was crucified. Since then the Jews have lost their qualification as the chosen people and have been scattered, suffering persecution through the present day. (p. 147)

Indeed, Moon declared in 1971 [in Master Speaks on February 14, 1974], “By killing one man, Jesus, the Jewish people had to suffer for 2,000 years. Countless numbers of people have been slaughtered. During the second World War, six million people were slaughtered to cleanse all the sins of the Jewish people from the time of Jesus,” In Moon’s linkage of the Nazi holocaust to the Jewish rejection of Jesus we have the total obscenity, the wicked result of a system of indemnity gone wild. This statement is a murderous update of the ancient malevolent deicide charge.

But there is more. Last December, the New York Times carried a full page advertisement signed by Reverend Moon in which Moon notes that if only the Jews had been members of the Unification Church they would have been spared Hitler’s actions. So, even in their death, the 6,000,000 slaughtered Jews are treated as theological pawns to be moved about on a Unification Church chessboard.

Thus, in Divine Principle and in other Unification Church documents, we are confronted with over 130 examples of an unrelenting litany of anti-Jewish teachings. Nowhere in Divine Principle does Reverend Moon acknowledge the continuing validity and authenticity of Jews and Judaism. From Abraham until the present day, Jews are seen as a people devoid of any genuine faith and spiritual qualities. “The inner contents are corrupt” (p. 532), Moon says of Judaism. He depicts the Jewish people as collectively responsible for the crucifixion of Jesus as allies of Satan. Jews have been replaced by a “second Israel” (who, interestingly enough, must soon be replaced by the “third Israel,” the followers of Reverend Moon). Furthermore, the Jews have lost God’s “heritage” and are still being “punished” for their many sins. The Unification Church’s basic teaching document is a feculent breeding ground for fostering and fomenting anti-Semitism.

The Unification Church’s response to my charges of anti-Semitism blandly noted that “Because there are almost no Jews in Korea, there was no danger of a careless phrase (sic!) abetting anti-Semitism as it might in other countries…” I believe I have shown that the anti-Semitism in Divine Principle is more than a “careless phrase,” and a total insensitivity to the Jewish people is patently clear in this tepid defense. Apparently it is all right to malign a group that does not dwell in one’s midst.

One must ask why the Unification Church has the need to transmit such hostility and anti-Semitism. In its announced attempt to build a new religious order, the Church states that “When a brighter light appears, the mission of the old one fades. Today’s religions have failed to lead the present generation out of the dark valley of death into the radiance of life, so there must now come a new truth that can shed a new light.” (p. 10). But as a student of religious history, and as a Jew, I must ask “What does the Unification Church intend to do, first, in a theological way and, then, in a political way with those religious communities who have seen, the “brighter light” but who have chosen to remain faithful to their “mission of the old”? Historically, Jews and Judaism have often stood alone against many of the world’s “brighter lights,” and many times the price for such action was death. That is why I, unlike some other observers of the Unification Church, am appalled and deeply concerned about the extant anti-Semitism in the Church’s teachings. Although it claims to wish to unite the human family in love and truth, the Unification Church continues to transmit in its sacred text and in other writings the same teachings about Jews and Judaism that have historically resulted in expulsions, pogroms, and murder.

Surely, we have the right to demand that the Unification Church, which professes a “New Adam,” a new life, not teach the same pathological untruths that earlier forms of Christianity did. If the Unification Church truly seeks to heal the human family, then its first obligation is to prevent the spread of anti-Semitism in all its forms. What is needed now is a complete revision of Divine Principle that eliminates every vestige of anti-Jewish teaching. No religion can bring harmony and peace to the world if its own soul is corrupted and filled with the poison of anti-Semitism.

And what about the non-Jewish world that does not accept the “new light” of the Unification Church mission? Does the Unification Church, which uses the principle of religious pluralism to justify its right to exist itself, allow for pluralism of belief? The statements of Reverend Moon are not encouraging. In an article in the New York Daily News of November 30, 1975, it is reported that Reverend Moon made the following statement at a private gathering:

So from this time [of peak] every people and organization that goes against the Unification Church will gradually come down or drastically come down and die. Many people will die—those who go against our movement. [Sun Myung Moon, Master Speaks February 14, 1974]

So much for the creed of the Unification Church; now let us look at the deed. What is the impact of the teachings of the Church on its members? How are the ideals of improving the world, of uniting mankind, carried out in the concrete actions of the Church and its followers?

I am convinced that the Unification Church uses dishonest recruiting techniques, hiding behind nearly seventy front groups, of which “Collegiate Association for the Research of Principle,” “Creative Community Project,” and “New Education Development Systems, Inc.” are three of the best known. Recruiters never identify themselves with Reverend Moon or the Unification Church until the potential member has already made a commitment. By the time the recruit realizes what he is really involved in, he is often so confused and disoriented from intensive weekend retreats, long seminars, sleeplessness, constant frenzied activity which is tightly supervised, non-nutritious food, and “love-bombing” that he may not have the will or strength to refute the demands of the group at that point. The skillful Unification Church members play on the recruit’s guilt, forcing him to renounce and remove himself from his past life, including job, school, and family. They weaken his identity, then, with strong guilt-oriented and approval-oriented sanctions, remake his identity according to Unification Church theology and role models.

After his initiation the new recruit is frequently put to work in what is called a “Mobile Fund-Raising Team [MFT].” He may work up to 18 hours a day, 7 days a week, collecting funds from the public, carrying out what is termed “heavenly deception” upon a generous and unsuspecting public. The new Unification Church member usually lies by stating that the collected funds are for various social welfare projects when, in fact, the large amounts of money go directly to Reverend Moon’s New York City bank to support the Church’s many real estate and media operations. Much of it goes also to support an increasingly luxurious life style for Reverend Moon and his chief aides, while the new Church members live in almost abject poverty, without privacy, often, without adequate medical or dental care, and without proper nourishment. Berkeley psychologist, Dr. Margaret Singer, has interviewed over 250 former Unification Church members. Her most shocking finding was the “psychological turning off of the hormonal process.” She has seen “repeated cases of menstruation ceasing in women and of men’s beards ceasing to grow.” Dr. Singer concludes: “These young adults have narrowed down their thought processes, constricted their vocabulary …and wouldn’t let their negative feelings show because of extreme pressure from those around them.”

The Unification Church’s theology and ideology has produced some disturbing actions among its members. Ellen Galligan remembers her MFT speeding across Michigan on a remote highway where one might pass another vehicle perhaps only once an hour. One early morning they passed an accident and they saw a “person flagging us down. Another man was standing there with blood all over his face. Our driver woke up our team leader, who said, ‘Don’t stop. Keep on going.’ You see we had to drive the whole night to get to the city the next morning for fund raising, and it was more important to keep going. There was never any concern about other people. I guess we just considered it was indemnity for salvation for them.”

In case after case, it is clear that the Unification Church’s zealous preoccupation with raising money transcends every other activity, even one of stopping on a lonely highway to assist an injured person.

Tony Gillard, a former Church member, “worked the ghettos. I would go in a migrant camp and take the last dollar from a poor family,” he says. “I did the same thing on Indian reservations.” Gillard, a black, was once brought before Rev. Moon for special praise because of his outstanding fund raising ability. “The Unification Church had its ‘house n*gger’”, Gillard notes, and he now considers the Church racist.

The record of forced separations of parents from children, monitored telephone conversations, intercepted mail, and even the threat of violence is now too well documented over and over again by former Church members to be dismissed as the usual “sour grapes” that any former group member may feel. The following story has been repeated by other Church members.

A CARP leader became involved in a serious automobile accident because of sheer fatigue (a common condition among many members). Faced with the possible loss of his legs and a serious operation, the Unification Church “Family” felt it could no longer tend to the young man’s needs. The Church called his parents, the “agents of Satan,” and they came to help their son. The Unification Church’s theology of love and caring apparently does not translate itself into the real world of accidents, illnesses, and medical operations.

Why do I deal with specific names and cases? What do they have to do with the cosmic theological claims of the Unification Church? I believe a clear pattern has emerged that shows the Unification Church, in its actual practice, to be an organization that is obsessed with raising money by means of “heavenly deception”, and through the efforts of thousands of drone-like members.

Earlier in this paper I called for the Unification Church to completely revise all its teaching materials in order to eradicate every vestige of anti-Semitism. I have two additional proposals to make. I urge that the Unification Church open its financial records to the general public and submit them to an independent audit so that the Church’s members, as well as others, can clearly learn how the Unification Church’s funds are raised and how they are spent. Only in this way can it begin to gain the credibility it so obviously and desperately seeks. Only in this way can the serious questions of fiscal integrity be resolved. If the Unification Church seeks to participate in our pluralistic religious society, these basic steps of openness and candor are absolutely necessary. Anything less than total public disclosure will only fan the flames of doubt and suspicion, and will prevent the Unification Church from gaining the sense of public legitimacy it craves.

I would also urge that a high level “blue ribbon” commission be appointed to investigate fully the many charges of human rights violations carried out by the Unification Church against its members. Such an independent commission would be composed of academic, legal, medical, and religious leaders who would undertake a comprehensive investigation of the Unification Church’s recruiting and educational methods and practices, as well as the Church’s treatment of its members. Even as we profess our deep commitment to the cause of human rights throughout the world, so, too, we must be just as vigorous in our own land in this struggle. If the Unification Church is, in fact, violating the human rights of any of its members, and if it is using coercive measures, then immediate legal remedial steps must be taken. If the alleged violations are not taking place, then I would be among the first to call for a cessation of the charges and counter-charges that are currently swirling about the Unification Church. Such charges, if false, do a grave disservice to all parties concerned.

As I indicated earlier, the Unification Church is free to proclaim its version of religious truth. It is free to press its claims and its doctrines. It is not free, however, in our society to perpetuate and transmit any form of anti-Semitism to its members. That grotesque pollution of the human spirit will continue to erode the Unification Church’s foundation. It is also not free to collect sums of money in America without any public accountability or disclosure. Such a closed system as currently practiced runs counter to the spirit of our open, and pluralistic society. Finally, the Unification Church is not free to violate the human rights of any potential or actual members. This is totally unacceptable, and it flies in the face of the Church’s professed doctrine of justice, love, and compassion, thus undermining the theological basis of the Church,

In Divine Principle we read: “Today’s religions have failed to lead the present generation out of the dark valley of death into the radiance of life, so there must now come a new truth that can shed a new light.” (p.10) That is the claim of the Unification Church, but I am deeply convinced that no new truth can emerge from a group whose teachings foster anti-Semitism, whose financial dealings are hidden from public view, and whose methods and style violate the human rights of others.

Sun Myung Moon:

“Our motto this time is for each of the fundraising teams to earn $12,000.00 a month, a high goal....If I mobilize 1,000 members, each earning $10,000.00, then we will make three million dollars a month, which is a usable sum. I will train the fund-raising team to make at least $3,000.00. When I mobilize 10,000 members, it means $30 million in a month. Then we can buy Pan American Airlines, and the Empire State Building. We shall buy Ford Motor Company, not to speak of the Empire State Building. That’s possible. …

In order for us to be able to do this would you prefer to sleep seven hours instead of six? (No.) We are used to sleeping, for instance, six hours. Would you prefer to sleep for seven hours or five hours? (Five.) Would you prefer to sleep four hours or five? (Four.) Would your prefer to go to work without sleeping? (Without sleeping.) I don’t want you to die so I will let you sleep barely enough to sustain your life.”

From MS-452, 9/22/74, Master Speaks, Where We Are Situated Now. Tarrytown, New York, September 22, 1974,

#Unification Church #Divine Principle #Sun Myung Moon #judaism

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askdawnandvern · 6 years

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A Lamb Among Wolves Ch:47

This particular chapter took way longer than planned. It also ended up way longer than planned. Had I not chosen to split this chapter and the previous section up, it would have totaled over sixty pages. As for why it took so long, well, that's a combination of health reasons and how much work I did on this chapter (as well as my proofreaders) coupled with the importance of just how I wanted this chapter to read. I've received a lot of feedback in regards to Yuri. About how he was irredeemable, unrepentant, and just the most unlikable SOB in the entire story. Even more so than Dorian or Ana (granted she got one scene). The goal from the start was never to make him do a complete 360 and suddenly become this likable, friendly character. Really I just wanted to explore why he is the way he is, and maybe open up the path for Yuri and Vernon to at least grow to tolerate one another. I wanted to try and adequately try to explain why Yuri is the way he is, and acts the way he does. And much like Dawn, major growth takes time. And that's the reason this chapter had been mostly done a week ago, and I spent the extra time agonizing over it and sharing it with my backers and revising again in order to try to make sure it came out right. But there comes a time where you have to say 'I've done all I can do'. If I just keep editing this chapter again and again LAW will never end. So here it is, the Yuri chapter. Also, quick update on my health, I have to go in for a surgical consultation this week. I'm not sure if it's about the guided injection, or if the surgeon just thinks it's time to move forward with surgery. I'll have more details on my Dawn Blog as the situation develops... Please consider tippin' me. https://www.patreon.com/wastedtimeee -WT

Chapter Forty-Seven: An Inconvenient Truce

Yuri stared at Vernon blankly for a few moments, his eyes blinking rapidly as he seemed to be struggling to take in just how willing Vernon was to open the floor to the wolf. It gave Vernon the distinct impression that perhaps Yuri hadn't exactly planned ahead this far along when it came to this 'talk' of his. At the very least, he had probably expected more of an argument when it came to Vernon's willingness to hear him out, and the fact that Vernon had given in so quickly had forced the wolf to throw out half of his prepared demands or pleas for the wolf to stay. The dark-furred wolf pulled uneasily at the knot of his tie, letting out an awkward cough.

“Well?" Vernon asked, quirking a puzzled brow at the wolf.

Yuri leaned back into the mesh of fabric spools, letting out an uncomfortable groan as he tried to shimmy deeper into the pile and averting his gaze from Vernon's own. The jet-black wolf ran a terse paw through his mo-hawk before letting it flop to his side and letting out a sigh.

“Mam', old lady Dasy needs more chairs back here..." The wolf murmured. “This mess o' spools is uncomfortable as sin."

“Yuri..." Vernon muttered, wiping the corners of his eyes with his thumb and forefinger and running them down his snout.

“I mean, I know it's a storeroom, but teeth to tails you'd think she'd have a few more-"

"Yuri!" Vernon cut the wolf off. Despite the wolf's seemingly well-intentioned actions, Vernon was already on edge from the previous experiences he had to endure throughout the morning.

“Y' ain't got no patience Vernon." Yuri snapped, turning to face the wolf. His yellow eyes squinting tightly as he threw Vernon a glare. “Sweet sawgrass."

“Can you blame me at this point Yuri?" Vernon replied, only for the dark-colored wolf to roll his eyes.

“What? The rough and tumble treatment is only fun fer you in the bedroom?" Yuri sneered. “Or the cornfield?"

YURI!" Vernon yelled. “What are you trying-!?"

The jet-black wolf held up his paws defensively, gesturing to the wolf to calm down.

"Hold on, hold on..." Yuri shook his head briskly as if he were trying to shake off a thought. "I-I'm just...I'm trying to get my bearings here."

Vernon let out a snort as he slunk back into the wooden chair. The slatted wooden poles that made up the back of the seat weren't exactly comfortable, but at the moment Vernon could barely register the discomfort over the already uncomfortable atmosphere that had built up in the room.

“Look this ain't really easy, I'm just tryin' to smooth the conversation over with some comedy here..." Yuri muttered.

“Because your brand of comedy tends to go over well with everyone else in this family." Vernon muttered, crossing his arms.

“Ada likes it..." Yuri replied in a quiet voice.

Vernon let out a tired sigh.

“Yuri..." The wolf muttered. “ I can't imagine what you want to talk about..." Vernon ran a paw through his scalp, swabbing the hint of sweat that had formed on his brow away as he turned his attention back to the wolf seated in the pile of spools. “But I think it would be less painful fer the both of us if y'all just got it over with as quickly as possible."

Yuri squirmed deeper into the messy pile of spools, letting out another uncomfortable groan as he struggled to get comfortable, but it was clear to Vernon by now that the discomfort was something more internal rather than just how pliable the mound of material was. Whatever the wolf was sitting on, metaphorically that is, seemed to be the real root of the wolf's unease.

Yuri let out a soft sigh. “I hate to admit when yer right..." The wolf muttered.

Slapping his paws on his knees, Yuri leaned up slightly in his seat, taking a more casual stance as he turned his attention back to Vernon. He only managed to focus his eyes on him for a moment before averting his gaze back to the floor, the wolf scratching the back of his neck anxiously as he grit his teeth.

“...Do this...' Vernon couldn't make out the entirety of what Yuri was saying as he mumbled his quiet statement at the floor. The jet-black wolf's hateful sneer returned as he furrowed his brow, a mixture of stress and anger painting his features as he began to growl softly.

"Fer Ada...do it fer Ada..." Was all Vernon could make out before the wolf let out a loud snarl. Yuri's head suddenly jerked back up, his attention snapping on Vernon so fast that it caused the wolf to reflexively flinch as he prepared for what he assumed was an incoming punch. But the wolf kept his balled fists at his sides as he spoke.

“I ain't gonna apologize fer what I did Vernon!" Yuri spat defiantly.

Vernon furrowed his brow in confusion.

"As far as I'm concerned y'all deserved them damned bruises on that mug of yers fer wha-! Urrgh!" The wolf let out a groan mid-sentence, tilting his head back as he slapped his palm harshly against his temple a few times before simply holding it there. It was a baffling sight for Vernon to try to make any sense of. To him, the wolf appeared to be beating himself up in lieu of taking a swing at him for whatever reason. It was a rather confusing prospect, the idea that the wolf was holding back from taking something out on Vernon, as a good chunk of his life had been spent looking for any excuse to do it. Yuri held like that for a few moments before letting out a long sigh.

"So...that's what you wanted to tell me?" Vernon said dully. He should have expected as much, not that he was expecting an apology from Yuri anyway. Granted Vernon already knew that while he hadn't acted as badly as Yuri had, he was still guilty to some degree for stooping to his brothers level. And even if the wolf were the kind of mammal to apologize for his part in it, Vernon would have protested that apology with an admission of his own guilt. The purpose would have been one of simple courtesy to one another. But this was still Yuri Vernon was dealing with. So expecting something like that, unprompted or otherwise was unrealistic. Still, it left the wolf even more clueless as to just what the point of this whole conversation was anyway.

“This is the 'brother to brother' talk?" Vernon shook his head dismissively. “Because I already know I was in the wrong with what I said, which is why I went and apologized to Ada."

Yuri's uncomfortable expression returned as he glanced down at his own paws, the wolf idly fiddling with his thumbs.

“I-I know that..." Yuri growled. “I mean, I heard."

“Are you looking for an apology?" Vernon asked.

Yuri let out a snort, rolling his eyes as he crossed his arms. “Apology?" The wolf chuckled. “Fer how soundly I beat the tar out of you? Now that's a laugh riot!" The wolf slapped a paw against his knee.

“It ended with my jaws around yer throat!" Vernon spat back. “How ca-!" The wolf shook his head briskly, attempting to shake off the rising ire in regards to the pointless way the conversation was heading. It was a paw that Vernon wasn't going to play himself into more than once.

Vernon let out a tired sigh, rolling his eyes at the rather bemused looking wolf before rising to his feet. Taking a moment to dust off his shirt, and stretch out an arm above his head, the wolf began a slow shuffle toward the exit.

"Well Yuri, this has been a blast..." Vernon said in a dry tone. "We should do this again sometime..."

“Wait! Wait!"

Vernon stopped just shy of the curtain, glancing back over his shoulder to find the dark-furred wolf leaned up in his seat, his paws outstretched toward him for a brief moment before the wolf quickly tried to hide the surprisingly pleading gesture. Yuri slapped a paw against his neck, rubbing it awkwardly as he averted his gaze from the wolf.

“Look..." Yuri muttered. “This sorta shit ain't exactly my forte." Yuri muttered, slumping back into his seat. The wolf crossed his arms defensively. “I need to get somethin' off my chest here." The wolf let out a long, tired sigh as he lolled his head back against the mound of fabric.

"Ada's right, Were both adults. Things can't keep goin' on this way. I know it's puttin' a strain on everyone else...but dammit, it's so hard!"

The errant comment was enough to draw Vernon back to his seat, if not warily. As the grey wolf eased back onto the floral pad, he turned his attention to the wolf across from him. It was clear Ada had spent some degree of time scolding Yuri for his actions but based on just how he had worded his strange admission, it seemed their talk had gone much deeper than yesterday's fight.

“Ada's right." Vernon replied. “She usually is."

Yuri let out a grumble, nodding weakly against the spools while his eyes remained fixed on the ceiling.

“But I imagine she's told you that before." Vernon muttered. “If not everyone else in this family." The wolf leaned his paws on his knees once again, watching the black wolf intently. “Why the sudden interest in acknowledging it?"

Yuri glanced back at Vernon, the wolf lowering his lids dully at his brother's question.

"Again, I ain't apologizin'..." Yuri muttered bitterly. " But when is the last time we had a real knock-down, drag-out fight?"

Vernon rubbed the fur on his chin between his fingers as he thought about the wolf's question. It had been quite some time since the two had thrown paws. Yuri's physical abuse had mostly tapered off once Vernon became too large to effectively pin down. Aside from one or two fights after Vernon's more difficult years, Yuri had mostly relied on the art of insults and put-downs. But yesterday's fight had been a benchmark in their current relationship, a new low bar that Vernon had thought they were beyond reaching despite how toxic their relationship already was.

"Before your 'cross-country trip' I think." Vernon mumbled. "Where you tried to make me eat dirt, and I pinned you under your motorcycle."

Yuri pointed a finger at Vernon, stabbing a claw decisively.

“That's because you keyed my ride!" Yuri spat.

“Rut you!" Vernon snapped back “I already told ya I didn't back then!"

"Oh, like anyone else had the motive to-!?" Yuri let out another snort, crossing his arms defensively as he stopped himself mid-retort. The wolf was clearly growing increasingly frustrated with his own behavior.

“Yuri." Vernon shook his head. “Where is this going?"

The jet-black wolf let out a terse sigh, flopping his head back against the fabric once more as his muzzle pointed toward the ceiling.

“Look Vermi..." Yuri shook his head as he stopped just shy of uttering the full nickname. “Look Vernon..." The wolf corrected himself. “I know I've always been an 'ornery' pup, alright?"

“That's one way of putting it..." Vernon mumbled.

Yuri flashed the wolf a momentary scowl before settling back into his seat. The wolf ran a paw through his mane of hair. "Ever since the day I was born I loved gettin' into trouble." The wolf chuckled softly. "I had a fire in my veins from the moment my heart started beatin', and I probably will till the day I die."

Yuri glanced over to Vernon, squinting slightly as his yellow eyes locked with Vernon's own.

“Hell if I know why." The wolf shook his head. “It's just the way I was."

Vernon let out a scoff. “That's seriously what yer gonna go with?"

“Yeah." Yuri quirked a curious brow. “Why?"

"Yer tellin' me you tortured us for all those years..." Vernon hissed. "Tortured me!" The wolf could feel a the start of a seethe beginning to build. The bitter resentment for Yuri's constant abuse poking at the embers left behind by his brother's previous attempts at putting one over on him. "And y'all don't even have a damn reason for it!?"

Yuri gave the wolf an awkward smirk, shrugging slightly.

“I mean..." Yuri muttered. “It's mostly just who I am." The wolf chuckled softly.

“I was born with a chip on my shoulder that never really went away."

“More like a damn boulder!" Vernon sneered. “Yer a ruttin' psychopath!"

“Well, I ain't sayin' I don't have issues, bu-."

“Seriously! I always suspected it, but I never knew until this!" Vernon let out a laugh at just how preposterous what he was hearing was, cutting off Yuri mid-sentence.

“I ain't no psychopath!" Yuri snarled, crossing his arms defensively.

Vernon ran a paw through his hair, shaking his head in disbelief.

“Yuri, yer a damn police officer!" Vernon spat, gesturing a paw at the wolf. “You know criminal psychology!"

Yuri shrugged, his uncomfortable expression shifting to one of confusion. “So?"

“That kind of behavior is textbook fer a psycho!" Vernon snapped.

"If I was a psycho we wouldn't be having this damn discussion! Hell, my th-!" The wolf leaned up in his seat momentarily, his anger flaring briefly before the wolf seemed to try to stop himself again. Slowly the wolf slipped back into his seat, slumping into the fabric with a dull plop. Yuri waived a dismissive paw at Vernon, which only served to make the wolf that much angrier.

“I was born an 'aggressive' pup." Yuri gestured his paws up. “And bein' bad was the easiest way fer me to get Ma's and Pa's attention."

“It was...my identity...I guess..." Yuri sighed, his gaze drifting back up to the ceiling as he continued to prattle off his story. “I was one o' three pups, and then a year later I was one o' seven..." The dark-furred wolf scratched his head. “Seven pups, all clawin' to be the center of Ma and Pa's world." Yuri chuckled softly. “But I learned just how to steal that attention away from any of y'all whenever I wanted."

Yuri lowered his gaze back on Vernon. “What started as just bein' a mischievous pup because it was in my nature, turned into a concerted effort to keep the attention on me." The wolf shook his head. “Least that's what my therapist told me."

Vernon quirked a curious eyebrow. “Therapist?" The wolf said in disbelief. “You?"

Yuri chuckled dully. “Why so surprised?" The wolf snorted. “I'm sure you think I've needed one fer a long time."

“W-Well..." Vernon winced uncomfortably as he scratched at his neck. “ I just...er..." The wolf muttered. “Never took you fer the type of mammal to go to one."

"Ain't cause I wanted to." Yuri snorted, flicking a paw in annoyance. "After my second suspension, I was 'required' to undergo therapy in order to get the damn thing lifted." The wolf raised a finger, waggling it at Vernon matter-of-factly. “And I'd like to point out that she also says I ain't no psycho."

Vernon had to stifle a scoff. Whatever 'therapist' that was willing to clear Yuri of a title like that either didn't dig deep enough into the wolf's psyche, or had gotten their degree off the back of a cereal box. But making a remark to that effect wasn't worth starting another argument over.

“Ah." Vernon replied, bringing his fingers together as he leaned forward in his chair. “So is that where this is coming from then?"

Yuri let out a sigh. "A little from column A..." The wolf trailed off slightly, leaving Vernon to finish the statement in his mind. "But, gettin' back to-."

“How long have you been seeing the psych fella?" Vernon asked.

Yuri rolled his eyes. “Would y'all stop askin' me so many damn questions!" The wolf sneered. “This is hard enough to wade through as it is with you interruptin' me!"

Vernon recoiled slightly, drawing back into his seat as Yuri bared his teeth at him. It was only for a moment, the ire fading away unusually quickly as the wolf let out another derisive snort before slumping back into his seat.

“It was easy too, ya know?" Yuri hissed. “I was the biggest out of all of ya." The dark wolf smirked slightly, sending an uneasy chill down the wolf's spine. “Top of the pack." The wolf let out an almost sickeningly pleasant sigh, as if he were somehow wistful from the memories of his troubled youth, the youth that Vernon's own had suffered under. "Bein' able to keep the rest of y'all down just let me stand that much taller, and at the time I had the power to do it."

Vernon shook his head in disbelief.

“I just can't really wrap my head around it..." Vernon muttered. “ Gettin' yer hide tanned? Gettin' punished constantly? Makin' yer siblin's cry?" The wolf scratched his head. “That's the kind of attention you wanted?"

Yuri grimaced deeply, a soft growl started to emanate from his throat as his ears flattened tightly against his head. His piercing yellow eyes met Vernon's own, and behind the lenses, he could see the familiar flicker hate shimmering from deep within. Vernon tried to swallow, but the lump in his throat refused to move.

"It ain't like I was lookin' fer that part of it, it just was somethin' that came packaged up with what I wanted!" The wolf growled. " I didn't really care about anyone else if it meant gettin' that attention." Yuri sighed. "And any attention was still attention to me." Yuri grumbled. "And in time, it became the only surefire way to keep Ma and Pa's eyes on me." The wolf slunk back into his seat.

"At a certain point, there was no backtrackin' I could do, even if I wanted to try." Yuri hissed. " So all I could do was lean into it that much harder."

With a heavy sigh, Yuri's grimace faltered into something more neutral as he ran a paw through his mane.

"At first, it was just fun to pick on y'all..." Yuri muttered, the wolf lolling his head from side to side. "Especially since the rest of y'all were a bunch of big sissies when it came to name callin' and play fightin'."

“Biting your brother in the arm deep enough to draw blood is play fighting?" Vernon spat, furrowing his brow.

“Pups roughhouse!" Yuri hiss. “It's in our DNA!" The wolf crossed his arms defensively. “'Sides' I didn't mean to go that deep on Trenny's arm...I slipped."

“Mhh-hmm..." Vernon replied dully.

Yuri flashed the wolf another glare, squinting sharply as he regarded the wolf. His piercing yellow eyes never failed to send a chill don't the wolf's spine.

“What I'm sayin' is, I saw it as funny!" Yuri spat. “Mostly harmless fun...at least to me." The wolf glowered. “Back then, I didn't do that stuff outta malice, or hatred. I don't even think I had a grasp of concepts like that yet..."

Vernon wanted to speak, to make a joke at Yuri's ridiculous line of self-defense. But as the wolf's glare continued to sharpen the words died in Vernon's throat. The wolf's eyes were practically boring through him now, and the could feel his stomach turn as his own gaze remained fixed on Yuri's. The adult mammal, the Vernon of the now had taken a step back in his mind. Leaving only the little puppy that Vernon once was, frozen in fear of the wolf that was staring deep into his soul.

“Torturin' others....if y'all choose to call it that." Yuri huffed. “That was fer attention, fer a joke." The wolf growled softly. “But when it came to you...it grew to become much more than just what I thought was funny."

Vernon furrowed his brow slightly as he began to grow aware of exactly where the wolf's story was leading.

“Tiny..." Yuri muttered. “Shrimpy lil' Runter..." The wolf sighed, finally breaking his deep, hateful gaze as he turned his attention to his own paws. The jet-black wolf idly intertwined his fingers together. “Ma and Pa's golden pup."

Vernon felt his wits returning as Yuri's gaze had peeled away from him. His adult self had come back, and with it came his voice.

"Y-Yuri." Vernon's voice broke slightly. "I I ain-."

“I thought I told y'all to keep quiet!" Yuri growled, his attention remaining on his paws as he slammed one balled fist into the other. Vernon was stunned back into momentary silence by the sudden burst of anger, allowing Yuri to continue with whatever point he was trying to make.

“He was the softest one..." Yuri muttered. “The fragile one." The wolf hissed. “I can still remember Ma describin' you over the phone to Aunty Abby as havin' a personality that 'glowed like the full moon in spite of bein' so small." Yuri stuck his tongue out in disgust.

“Y-Yuri..."

“And with Pa, you were gonna be the one to grow up and work at his side." Yuri growled. “Y'all were the one he wanted over any of the rest of us."

Vernon furrowed his brow in confusion. “T-that's not..."

"Y'all don't remember?" Yuri hissed."When y'all was two....?"

In that moment there was the flicker of something in Vernon's mind. A foggy, hazy memory, but it was there. Vernon could vaguely remember walking into his father's study. He could easily recall just how large everything seemed compared to him as his little pawed feet shuffled across the rug to meet the wolf behind the desk. He had been crying...for some reason.

“I gave y'all a native wolf fur-burn..." Yuri growled. “And you went off cryin' to Pa like you usually did."

“But by the time I made it to him...I stopped crying..." Vernon muttered dumbly. “He was...fixing his hat? I think?" The wolf scratched his head. “And I just...my interest went right to the hat."

The memory began to grow in clarity, piecing the murky cloud of the scant memories of childhood, the flickers of things locked behind his pre-Dawn door. He remembered asking about the hat. Something along the lines of getting one just like it. A hat just like his Pa's.

“Y'all wanna wear it now Pup?" Dorian chuckled.

"Can I!?" Vernon yipped. "Weawy?" The pup lisped through gapped teeth.

Dorian let out a loud laugh. "Course ya can kiddo." The wolf said, slapping the over-sized hat on Vernon's head. In that instant, the little wolf's world went dark, and the pup had to struggle to push it up enough to look up at the towering white wolf.

Vernon frowned slightly. “It don't fit."

Dorian pressed down on the hat with a playful paw, patting it a few times. In response, Vernon pressed the hat up again as forcefully as he could, puffing his cheeks at his father in annoyance.

“One day it will Vern." Dorian said with a grin. “One day you and me will be wearin' matching ones."

The little wolf's eyes went wide, his muzzle hanging open in awe of the old wolf's prediction.

"WEAWY!?" Vernon grinned a partially toothless smile, pressing his paws against his father's lap as his tail wagged furiously.

“O' course." Dorian chuckled. “Yer' gonna be my deputy someday ain'tcha?" Dorian grinned, raising an eyebrow at the pup.

Vernon was practically bouncing on his paws with excitement, the little wolf nodding in agreement so quickly it made him light-headed. In response, his father gave him a playful nudge in the arm.

“I think you got the potential boy." Dorian grinned. “If you work for it, I think you and me can make the North Meadowland's an even better place."

Vernon stuck his tongue out of the side of his muzzle, giving his father a determined glare as he held up his hat.

“I wiwl!" Vernon puffed. “I wiwl be da best deputee eva!"

Dorian smiled. “I don't think I'd want it any other way my boy."

Vernon blinked at Yuri a few times as the memory continued to resonate within him.

“B-but..." Vernon muttered. “How di-?"

Yuri rolled his eyes. “Who do y'all think was waitin' to share his side of the story outside Pa's door?" The wolf huffed. “I was ready fer y'all to tattle on me."

Vernon stared at the wolf in shock for a moment, blinking dumbly before he managed to muster some form of response to Yuri's story.

“W-we were pups..." Vernon replied. “It ain't like I meant it." The wolf continued. “Ain't like Pa was serious either!"

Yuri slunk back into his seat, the black furred wolf letting out a tired sigh.

"When you are a pup, the truth don't really matter." Yuri muttered. "It's all about the way it's perceived."

The dark-wolf sighed, running a paw through his mo-hawk once again.

“You didn't do anythin'." Yuri hissed. “You were just born small..." The wolf sneered. “And they dumped attention and love on y'all like it was a summer squall."

The dark wolf narrowed his gaze at Vernon, his piercing yellow eyes burning with disdain.

“That's when I started to hate you." Yuri said coldly.

The way Yuri spoke, the delivery of his words made Vernon's blood run cold. Vernon's hackles rose as a shiver ran down the wolf's spine, causing his tail to jerk slightly as the words rolled through him like a venomous wave. It was strange that the words carried such impact. After all, Vernon had said as much to Yuri the previous day. But the bitter, chilling tone was something that conveyed a deeper power than Vernon's own passionate cry. Thankfully, almost as quickly as the words had been uttered, Yuri broke his agonizingly cold gaze. The dark-furred wolf's attention returning to his paws.

"They just gave you everythin' without hesitation." Yuri growled. "And everythin' you did was worthy o' praise." The dark wolf kicked his leg at a loose spool idly. "They coddled you, and cuddled you..."The wolf shook his head. "And I hated you fer it...before I even knew what hate was."

"Yuri..." Vernon sputtered, but the wolf couldn't manage any more than his brother's name. In truth, Vernon wasn't really sure what to say. Yuri had just dropped a massive bomb in his lap, and the wolf was still struggling to take it all in. Vernon felt a pang of guilt, but it was muted behind a rising wall of ire as the picture began to grow clearer. A growing sense of indignation as it clashed with what Vernon knew to be true when it came to the love of their parents.

“B-Bull!" Vernon retorted. “I-" The wolf stumbled over his words. “ None of us went without love in this family!" The wolf spat. “Even you!" Vernon growled softly. “And now yer tryin' to put the way you acted on me!?"

Yuri crossed his arms defensively, the wolf tilting his head upward slightly as he regarded Vernon with his usual hateful gaze. The sneer on his muzzle parting as his mouth opened wide. It looked as though he were going to yell the wolf down, yet nothing came. After a moment, the wolf closed his jaws, Yuri seeming to calm slightly as he slid deeper into his seat.

"Whether it's true or not..." Yuri mumbled. "From that point, I kept my eyes on you." The wolf grit his teeth. "My focus on you, and everythin' that Ma and Pa did fer you."

Yuri let out a snort. “I was too young to really grasp that focusin' on y'all probably just made it seem like y'all were gettin' even more praise and love because I wasn't payin' as close attention to everyone around me." The wolf shook his head. “ Therapist says it was like a tunnel vision effect."

The wolf rolled his eyes. "And since I only knew one way to get Ma and Pa's attention, the only thing I could do to mitigate how they treated y'all was to make you pay for it." Yuri bit his own tongue as he hissed. “O' course, that's lookin' back on it now." The wolf shrugged uneasily. “Hindsight's a bitch ain't it?"

Vernon furrowed his brow in confusion. If what Yuri was saying was to be taken as the truth, then the reason his brother had been so hard on him growing up was this perceived notion that Vernon was somehow more loved than he was. Then again, Yuri, at least as a pup, didn't exactly make himself easy to love. The wolf had already admitted as much. But if Yuri had the clarity to look back on his past and see his behavior for what it was, then that still left Vernon with the question as to why the behavior continued. Why did Yuri continue to treat him so badly even now?

“Ain't like I didn't try..." Yuri muttered, breaking Vernon's train of thought.

“What?" Vernon replied.

The dark-furred wolf ran a paw across his forehead, letting out a sigh.

“When I got a little older...I tried a paw at doin' things yer way." Yuri muttered. “Gettin' Ma and Pa's attention in a positive way." The wolf chuckled. “But I always hackled it up."

The wolf grit his teeth, his claws digging into the spools slightly before the wolf released his grip with a heavy sigh.

"But I know now it never worked because that wasn't the kind of mammal I was..." Yuri shook his head. "I...couldn't show affection the way the rest of y'all did."

Yuri turned his gaze back to the wolf sitting across from him, his expression that same, strange look of discomfort Vernon had noticed earlier.

“Back then though, I couldn't figure out why it didn't make a dent." Yuri muttered. “And all the while I had you to look up at, taunting' me with Ma and Pa's approval whether you wanted it to come off that way or not."

“Y-Yuri..." Vernon stammered. “I-I didn't mean..."

“In a way...we were torturin' each-other..." Yuri chuckled. “Just on different levels."

“Now wait a minute." Vernon declared, his voice growing more confident as he spoke. “That ain't even close to fair to comparin' what you did to me on purpose to how Ma and Pa treated me!" Vernon gestured a paw emphatically. “Hell, you doin' what you did probably made Ma and Pa try to compensate by..."

Vernon trailed off as he contemplated just what he was saying. He had been ready to simply write off Yuri's supposed fuel behind his tormenting of the wolf as nothing more than a lame excuse. But as he began to further wrap his mind around the information, a disheartening picture was coming into view. The glaringly powerful image of a wheel, a self-sustaining cycle of behaviors that only amplified each side as it continued to spin.

Yuri furrowed his brow, his previous smirk slipping into a deeper grimace as he appeared to pick up on Vernon's own thoughts.

“By the Gods, I could use a drink right now..." Yuri shook his head.

“Yuri..." Vernon muttered.

“I kept making it worse..." Yuri muttered, gesturing lamely with a paw at nothing in particular. “And you kept makin' me want to make it worse." The wolf sighed.

“And then you went through yer bad phase." Yuri continued.

Vernon froze at the memory as he felt himself pulled back to that troubled time. The years after Dawn was separated from him. It had been a shock to his childlike understanding of greater Animalia. His limited, naive and pure ideals about the way mammals were supposed to get along were violently stripped away as he was instilled with the knowledge that his kind was to be feared. It was a flawed thought process, the wolf knew that now. But back then, confronted with such a concept after knowing no other was too hard to take. And so, while not entirely giving in so far as to actively scare and terrorize innocent prey, he lived as a 'true wolf' in the eyes of some of the toughest mammals the North Meadowlands Middle and Junior High School had ever seen.

Even Yuri had never been a brazen bully outside of the home. Before Vernon had changed his behavior, lashing out at the world around him, Yuri had been known for mostly for being a name-caller. The kind of mammal who only fought when he had enough of an advantage over his opponent to ensure his victory. Yuri had always been more of a manipulator when it came to the whispers of the other students. A craftier mammal who picked his battles properly. But Vernon, well he became a true brute. The fact that he shot up like a corn stalk in junior high only made the situation that much worse, and the students that much more fearful.

It haunted him, that part of his life. When it came to his list of regrets, it was the second thing he wished he could change. The first of course, being Dawn's separation from him, even knowing there was no way he could at the time. But much like Dawn's own sordid history, it was something he had to live with now.

“And how did Ma and Pa deal with y'all then?" Yuri asked.

Vernon bit his lower lip. He already could tell where this conversation was going the moment Yuri had mentioned it.

“T-They punished me!" Vernon protested. “You tryin' to say they gave me a lighter sentence than you fer the stuff you did?"

Yuri cocked a brow, looking back at Vernon with irritation.

“Oh they did, sure enough." Yuri muttered. “Hesitant at first, but they levied the same kind of punishments at you that they did fer me." The wolf chuckled. “Some even worse than any I ever had." Yuri scratched his chin. “At least that much I can say was fair."

Yuri flashed Vernon a wide, sinister grin. “Although since you had taken over the role of Alpha dog at the house, you surpassed purty much anythin' I could dish out in terms of' bein' bad." Yuri snickered. “I'd like to say it was one of the few times I mighta' respected ya a little bit." The wolf sighed. “Ya might say, in the spiritual sense that's probably the closest we've ever been, eh Vern?"

Vernon sneered at the very idea of Yuri considering the two being alike at all. But at the same time, Vernon couldn't deny that his behavior was bad, if not worse than Yuri's at some points, even if it hadn't been directed inside the household. “You certainly didn't act like it."

Yuri chuckled to himself. “As I said, it was just the kinda mammal I was." The wolf flashed him a cheesy grin. “An aggressive little shit with a big mouth."

“Who beat on the rest of us." Vernon retorted.

"Fer the most part I grew out of beaten' on mammals..." Yuri hissed. "You grew into it." the wolf leaned back into his chair, letting out a soft chuckle."Fer a time anyway." He said, waving a paw dismissively. But as the wolf nestled deeper into his seat, his eyes found Vernon's again, his brow furrowing slightly.

"Funny thing..." The wolf sighed. "Durin' that time, that was when I gave a real shot at tryin' to be better behaved fer Ma and Pa." The wolf chuckled again, the laughter trailing off into a bemused sigh as he squirmed in his seat uncomfortably. "I thought, maybe, just maybe..." The wolf continued. "That you foulin' up so bad might have been my in. To get the attention I felt I deserved."

The wolf's eyes drifted back to the ceiling as he took a slow, deep breath. “But with the newly fallen golden pup causin' a ruckus and gettin' into trouble so often..." The wolf's eyes shifted back to Vernon's own, his eyelids squinting tightly around his irises. “The previously 'worst pup' in the pack actin' marginally better didn't exactly net me the amount of attention I was lookin' fer..." The wolf chuckled softly.

“Ya see, despite all them punishments, Ma still wailed for y'all..." Yuri muttered bitterly. “Pa still believed it was a passin' phase, because it 'wasn't like you'!" Yuri scoffed. “they bent over backwards tryin' to 'bring you back around'!

The jet-black wolf leaned up in his seat, stabbing an accusatory claw Vernon's way as he sharpened his gaze.

“And when you finally broke down..." Yuri growled. “Decidin' to clean up yer act and beg fergiveness, they ju-!" Yuri stammered, gnashing his teeth harshly as he seemed to be fighting the urge to growl. “They just took ya back with open arms!"

The wolf slammed his fist harshly against a slab of fabric, the object letting out a muffled crack as the rod the held together presumably broke under the sudden pressure. It buckled under his fist before slipping to the floor as Yuri slumped harshly back into the mound of spools, the wolf letting out a terse huff as he crossed his arms.

“They just dismissed it all! Put it all behind them!" Yuri hissed. “Just like that!"

“So what, you're jealous!?" Vernon snapped back, flashing the wolf a sneer of his own. “Because Ma and Pa were worried about me?"

“JEALOUS!?" Yuri snarled, the wolf lunged toward Vernon, but stopped short of leaving the mound of spools, once again slamming a fist into the material. It was enough to make Vernon wince, but not enough to make him back down.

“OF COURSE I WAS JEALOUS!" Yuri growled. “I was jealous because you could do what I never could with Ma and Pa!" The wolf continued, gesturing wildly with a paw. “You could come back to them! But I was always me!" Yuri barked. “There wasn't a turn around fer me! Nothin' to hope fer for me! I was always Yuri the troublemaker! Yuri the problem pup!" The wolf was practically thrashing in his seat now as he stabbed his claw at Vernon once more, his glare so sharp Vernon was almost fearful it would cut him from across the room.

“You got to go right back to bein' the golden pup!" Yuri snapped. “The pup I never got to be!" The wolf's ears sagged slightly, his hateful expression dulling to something soft and oddly sullen. “The pup I never could."

Yuri drew in a trembling, soft breath. The ragged breathing the only sound permeating the room as the wolf seemed to be trying to steel himself after his wild outburst. Vernon meanwhile, was staggering through his own recovery from the wolf's tirade. The admission had left him reeling. And despite Yuri being a master manipulator, and hard to read, there was no mistaking that emotional whirlwind as the truth. The truth at least how Yuri saw it.

"I-I know." Yuri muttered. "I know who I am Vernon." The wolf continued. "I've come to terms with it." The wolf sighed, running a paw through his mo-hawk in an effort to keep the now sweat-soaked fur from drifting into his face.

“I know now, that no matter what I was always gonna be trouble...even if I was an only child." Yuri glanced back at his brother as he gripped the swaths of materials between his paws. “I ain't blameless...but it was the only way I was gonna act with you in that spot." Yuri let out another tired sigh. “Alpha don't mean shit when held up to knowin' yer loved."

“Y-Yuri..." Vernon muttered. The wolf found himself unsure of how to respond. “Y-you can't mean...I mean..." The wolf struggled to find the words. “You know Ma and Pa love you."

“Not as much as you..." Yuri muttered. “Never as much as you."

Yuri raised a paw, lamely gesturing at nothing as he flopped back into his chair.

“And not just them, but the rest of the fellas too." Yuri rolled his eyes. “Always jumpin' to defend you..." The wolf shook his head dismissively. “They probably care just as much." The wolf slid deeper into his seat. Slapping his paws against the material loudly. “Because even though you weren't the last born, and even though yer the biggest wolf out of all of us now..." Yuri grumbled. “Yer always gonna be 'Puppy' to this family."

The room fell into a bitter silence as Yuri concluded his statement. The jet-black wolf now simply slumped into the mound of materials with his eyes closed. Vernon watched the wolves nostrils flare softly as he took a series of cool, calculated breaths. It was clearly a calming exercise, something Vernon was all too familiar with in his life with Dawn. Granted it was rare the ewe had to resort to it nowadays, but whenever she was nervous or overwhelmed, Vernon would catch her running through the same quiet ritual that Yuri was now undergoing. He could even see Yuri's lips moving as he silently counted through a series of numbers, the same way Dawn would have. It could have been coincidence, but it certainly added to the credibility that Yuri's therapist was indeed a real mammal, and clearly studied the same techniques Dr. Gnu had. But with Yuri lost in his exercise, it left Vernon to reflect on just what he had said.

There was truth in what Yuri said, as much as Vernon hated to admit it. While Vernon didn't necessarily agree with just 'how much' Yuri thought he was unloved, the prospect of the way a family and its roles stay with you long after you grow out of them was something he had never really given any thought to. When Vernon left for Zootopia to become an architect, it was the first time he had ever left the ranch. And in this strange new place, outside of Gus, no other mammal knew anything about him. They didn't know 'Puppy', for his better years or his worse. He was just a wolf, a stranger to most, and Vernon to others. He was an adult to everyone he met because he had met them as such. And no amount of indulging those around him with stories from his past, even the bad ones, would truly change how he was perceived now. They hadn't been there to see what happened themselves, to experience it first paw. And so, in that way, they could never truly see it the same way his relatives would have.

But whenever he returned to the ranch, it was as if he had stepped back in time. He was 'Puppy' again, with everything that implied. Of course, to Vernon that carried with it a warm familiarity, a sense of comfort and longing that he often found himself missing. It was something that drove him back to the ranch to visit almost monthly. But Vernon had never stopped to consider that not everyone might share that same feeling of warmth and pleasure when it came to slipping back into those roles.

“D'ya wanna know why I left Vern?" Yuri's sudden question broke the wolf's train of thought. “Why I took a cross-country ride fer three months instead of stayin' home and scoutin' colleges properly like Zach and Xave?"

“Why?" Vernon asked, despite feeling fairly confident in what the answer would be.

“I had to get outta there." Yuri muttered. “I needed to get away, from this family..." The wolf drew his gaze back to Vernon, flashing the wolf oddly sorrowful eyes. “From you." The wolf averted his gaze, raising his paws and dropping them listlessly to his sides. “From me..."

“You had to get away....from yerself?" Vernon asked. There was a joke to be made in there somewhere, at least Vernon's mind had thought of a couple. Most of them revolving around the general idea of 'I'd want to get away from you too.' But considering the gravity of the conversation at paw, the wolf chose to hold back for the time being, saving the barbs for just in case things suddenly went south.

Yuri crossed his arms defensively. “ I don't know..." The wolf sighed. “ I just....whether I was loved, or not, I didn't really feel it, so I left...lookin' fer something..." The wolf shrugged. “Anythin'..."

Yuri shook his head dismissively. "I needed to get away from Zootopia's little shithole of an off-ramp stop and figure some things out fer myself." The wolf lamented. "To see if there was more to me then where I fit in this pack."

The wolf leaned forward, pressing his muzzle into his clasped paws as he tapped the bridge of his snout.

“I tell ya Vern, bein' out there." Yuri sighed. “It felt liberatin', like I was a new mammal." The wolf let out a soft chuckle. “Well fer the most part."

Yuri took a deep breath, puffing his chest as he began to speak, placing a prideful fist against his breast.“I felt like this burden had been yanked right off my back. Like Animalia was my oyster and I could do whatever the hell I wanted without havin' someone just waitin' to scold me for it."

Yuri glanced at Vernon, a twinkle seeming to gleam from behind his eyes. “I mean, within' reason o' course." The wolf chuckled." I know Pa had so little faith in me durin' my little trip, he was just waitin' fer the phone call that I'd be locked up somewhere for doin' somethin'." Yuri turned to Vernon slightly, flashing the wolf a smug grin. “Not to say I didn't get into a few skirmishes on the road." Yuri took a moment to adjust his tie confidently, dusting it off with a paw. “And I won every single one mind y'all."

Vernon rolled his eyes, only to earn a derisive snort fro Yuri.

“But when I was out there, I could really think clearly fer the first time in a long time." The wolf sighed, leaning his muzzle back into his paws. “I did a bit a...what'dya call it? Soul-searchin'?"

Vernon gave a timid nod, and with the acknowledgment, Yuri continued.

“Despite everythin'..." Yuri continued. “The Hunter blood ran deep in me." The wolf sighed, letting his head droop lamely. “Or at least all that crap Pa used to teach us growin' up about honor and justice actually managed to stick somewhere in this ol' head o' mine." The wolf snorted, jabbing a finger to his temple for emphasis.

"Regardless of what Pa said about wantin' you to be his deputy, he trained us all to be in law." Yuri sighed, glancing back at Vernon from the corner of his eye. "And, call it whatever you want..." The wolf chuckled. "Brainwashin' or some deep-seated desire to appeal to the 'ol 'Mam..." Yuri rolled his eyes. "I figured I'd try and give it a go."

Sitting back up, the wolf ran a paw through his hair before resting it on his neck. "And so, 'round the middle of that trip, I decided I'd just keep drivin' till around the time when all the academies started enrollin'..." The wolf chuckled. "And whatever city I ended up in at that time, I'd set up stakes there."

Vernon furrowed his brow. “You mean, that's how you picked Seaodder?" The wolf leaned up slightly. “There weren't nothin' but random choice behind it?"

Yuri gave a genuine smile, something rather surprising to see.

"It helped that it was about as far as you could get from home." The wolf sighed pleasantly. "But that was purty much the decidin' factor." Yuri gestured with a paw. "My bike broke down just outside o' Redmound, and I didn't have the loose funds to fix it on my own. And by the time I saved up enough for the repair along with food and roomin' expenses, it was time to call Pa and enroll somewhere."

Yuri shook his head, a mischievous smirk crossing his muzzle. “I can still remember dialin' up the ol' 'Mam." Yuri glanced back at Vernon with an expectant look. “Still remember how he answered the phone."

“How?" Vernon asked, his curiosity piqued.

Yuri chuckled. “He opened with, 'Well this ain't a collect call, so I'm already pleasantly surprised.'"

Vernon wasn't sure if it was okay to chuckle along with the wolf, instead opting to settle for a simple grin. Considering Yuri's personality, it seemed like a pretty logical conclusion on Dorian's part to assume any call from Yuri at that time might have meant trouble, and while their father could sometimes be rather blunt, it was still surprising even for the ol' Mam just how honest his statement was at the onset.

Yuri shook his head as he continued to chuckle. “Ada never gets tired of hearin' that line. It still cracks her up."

“Wow..." Vernon muttered. “When you mentioned you thought Pa might have pegged you gettin' locked up before school, I didn't think y'all meant it." The wolf lied. After all, he and the remaining Hunter pack still at the ranch often joked about pinnin' down the date the mugshot would show up on Pa's computer.

Yuri lolled his head back, letting out a tired sigh. “Don't patronize me Vern." Yuri replied. “The whole of the North Meadowlands was placin' bets on when I was gonna end up on the opposite side of the bars the family was used to dealin' with, let alone what the rest of y'all were thinkin'."

Vernon shrank into his shoulders, letting out a quiet, guilty hiss. It was like the wolf had read his mind, and in turn, the sudden surprise call out had forced a genuine response to the surface. But Yuri didn't seem to notice, or desire to linger on catching him, instead pressing forward with his own story.

“O'course, Pa was more than happy to pay out any lodgin' fer me at that point." Yuri sighed. “Seein' how most police academies tend to waive tuition if you got cops in the family, the price of the place wasn't a concern of Pa's." The wolf smirked. “And Ma was just 'dee-lighted' I was goin' to school." Yuri feigned a smile as he stretched out the word, mimicking their mother's tone. "Hell, I remember after Pa mentioned to Ma who was on the phone, she was on the line in two seconds flat, frettin' over whether I was alright or if I needed pickin' up...I..." Yuri shook his head.

“It certainly felt...different. A good kinda different." The wolf flashed Vernon a genuine smile.

With that, Yuri placed his paws behind his head, leaning back into the spools as he let out a pleasant sigh. Out of the corner of his eye, he managed to catch Vernon's gaze again.

“Livin' and workin' in Seaotter..." Yuri muttered. “It helped me figure out what kinda mammal I was, what I wanted outta life, and who I wanted to be." The wolf raised a paw, gesturing with it in a dismissive small circle. “And while that mammal turned out to be...well..."

"Still kind of a dick?" Vernon asked, only to get another glare from Yuri. But the piercing gaze was short-lived, the wolf letting out a huff as he crossed his arms and turned away.

“Aggressive, reckless, and a bad comedian." Yuri spat. “At least that's how my partner Lance would tell it."

Vernon did his best to stifle a snicker, but Yuri clearly caught it, flashing the wolf a sneer.

“Stringy, shrimpy little twerp of a stag." Yuri muttered, letting out another snort despite trying to hide a smirk of his own.

“The point is." Yuri closed his eyes. A warm, genuine smile crossing his muzzle as he leaned back into the pile of spools once more. “It was just...I mean, to be in a place where the only thing anyone had to go on when meetin' me the first time was that a highly respected sheriff had more or less vouched fer me to get me into the academy." The wolf shook his head softly.“Out there I wasn't carryin' all this baggage, this history fer mammals to pick and choose from to decide who I was before even utterin' a damn word." The wolf shook his head. “And fer the most part the work I put in at the precinct spoke louder than my...ahem...'abrasive personality'." The wolf grimaced as he uttered the phrase, telling Vernon that the description, like Lance's, wasn't his own assessment.

The black-furred wolf looked back at Vernon, wearing that unnaturally pleading expression that managed to shake Vernon's guard when it came to trusting how sincere the wolf could actually be. “Fer once I wasn't the worst mammal in the world before I even uttered a word." The wolf muttered.

The statement had left Vernon somewhat stupefied. Was this how Yuri actually felt about everything? Was this the honest to the gods truth or was it just another game for the wolf to play at? Either way, it left Vernon struggling to come up with some sort of reply. Should he be trying to comfort his brother after making himself seem so vulnerable, or should he remain guarded?

But if the wolf was interested in getting input at that moment, he certainly didn't seem it. Instead, the wolf simply continued his story as he nestled his head back into the mound of spools.

“Even the first suspension didn't really change things fer me." The wolf muttered. Placing a paw to his brow. “I was still pretty green at that point, and I went a little too far off book for my Superior Officer's liking." Yuri shook his head.

"O' course, our precinct considers that sorta thing a hazin' ritual anyway." The wolf gestured his paw lamely at Vernon. You ain't really a true Seaodder cop unless y'all have bent the rules once or twice to get the job done." Yuri sighed. "Well, as long as you ain't stealin' drugs from the evidence locker anyway..." The wolf said with a chuckle.

“And more importantly..." Yuri glanced back to Vernon, that oddly sorrowful expression returning as he spoke. “Bein' out there made me confident that if I could change...or grow-up or whatever..." The wolf murmured. “That maybe the family could too."

Yuri's attention returned to the ceiling as he slipped his paws behind his head. “Maybe I'd even make the family proud to some degree." The wolf closed his eyes again, drawing a deep, slow breath. “And based on what Ma and Pa had to say when the came out to visit or called, I knew they were...to some extent.“

“But...I just couldn't bring myself to visit back home..." Yuri muttered quietly. “Not even fer just a day."

Vernon could already see where Yuri was going with his train of thought, but the wolf couldn't stop himself. There was a sense that if he didn't ask the question, Yuri might not be able to muster the desire to continue opening up to him.

“Why?" Vernon asked quietly.

Yuri opened one golden eye, his iris settling on Vernon momentarily before his gaze shifted away again.

"Look..." The wolf sighed. "Don't get me wrong. Havin' Ma and Pa visit me out in Seaotter was...actually purty nice." The wolf muttered. "I actually...I enjoyed myself." The wolf sighed. "It made me just a little hopeful...but not enough to come out the ranch because..." The wolf shook his head, letting out a long, tired sigh before continuing.

"Because, I was afraid that if I went back..." The wolf released his paw, allowing his mo-hawk to spring back into place as he dropped his arm lamely to his side. "Everythin' would just play out the way it always did." The wolf muttered. "And I'd be right back in that...damn place." The wolf snorted. "That cold, miserable place."

The wolf shook his head dismissively before placing his other paw to his brow. “But there was the other part of me that kept tellin' myself things had changed too much to go back to the way they were. I was a different mammal now." The wolf sighed. “Or so I thought."

Yuri's piercing yellow glare found Vernon's gaze again, the familiar flicker of ire behind the lens returning. “Then I got to hearin' Ma prattle on and on about y'all left the ranch to become an architect."

Yuri's jovial demeanor had evaporated so quickly it was almost enough to give Vernon whiplash. Not only had the expression on his face reverted to the usual one of revulsion and disdain, but the tension in the air had flooded in so rapidly it was almost suffocating. Alarms were going off in Vernon's head, and along with them the wolf's guard immediately shot back up. Once again, Vernon found himself taking note of the exit, and reaffirming the quickest way around Yuri and out should the situation get worse.

“And what did Pa do?" Yuri hissed, his muzzle bridge crinkling to expose his fangs. “He just up and let you go!"

“Pa didn't just 'let me go'!" The wolf growled back. “He refused to support my choice in careers! He fought me tooth and nail on not goin' to the Police Academy" Vernon crossed his arms defensively. “In the end, I mostly had to pay my own way to pursue bein' an architect and get where I am!"

Yuri crossed his arms. "Like Ma wasn't sneakin' you money on the side when she could!" The wolf sneered.

“Why does what I do with my life matter to you so much!? Huh!?" Vernon snapped back. “It's my life ain't it!?" The wolf huffed. “Ain't like you'd let anyone stop you if that's what you wanted to do!"

“Because you ruined everythin' fer me!" Yuri snarled, rising partially out of his seat. In response, Vernon leaned one of his feet against the floor, preparing himself for the sprint to safety he was certain he'd have to make.

“The way everyone reacted to what y'all did... All it did was show me that nothin' had changed at all when it came to this family!" Yuri continued, his muzzle quivering as he bared his fangs."That life at the Hunter Ranch was the same as it always was! And I was a damn fool for thinkin' I was gonna make a dent in my reputation if even after leavin' everyone in this family was still kissin' yer ass!"

Yuri's hateful gaze remained fixed on Vernon as his breathing grew increasingly ragged. His eyelids tightened around his piercing yellow eyes as a low growl began to thrum in his throat.

"And that was all Ma could talk about after." Yuri hissed. "All everyone in this damn family could!" The jet-black furred wolf huffed, his breathing growing heavier as he tightly balled his fists.

“Every update about the family from then on started with you." Yuri sneered. “How Vernon was farin' in Zootopia! How stubborn Pa was bein'! How wild it was that one of us was goin' fer somethin' other than a law job!"

The wolf was almost trembling now, the ire inside clearly reaching a boiling point as he clutched at the spools of material that made up his chair.

“The attention was back on you....hell I was stupid to think it was ever off you." The wolf seethed.

“Family, attention, the golden pup. Even when I was in Seaotter it was like I had been dragged back to that damn farm in my head. Those damn calls hangin' over my mind fer days while I tried to do my damn job!" Yuri's growling slowly began to shift into more of a whine as the wolf slipped back into his seat. His grip loosening on the spools as he slumped back into the mound of material. Before Vernon knew it, Yuri was back to counting each methodically deep breath as he worked to calm himself.

Vernon was once again left in a mixture of shock and confusion. Was it okay to let his guard down again, to take his eyes off his means of escape? For the time being, it appeared the bomb that was Yuri's temper had somehow diffused itself. And after holding on long enough for Yuri's labored breathing to become somewhat stable, Vernon's initial wariness began to fade in favor of a strange, growing sense of sympathy. Whether it was a performance or not, the whole affair was visibly taking a great deal out of the wolf. His panting persisting even after the countdown had long since completed, the low gasping punctuated with the occasional gulp as he lay back in the pile of spools with his eyes closed.

Glancing around the room, Vernon noticed an half-empty opened pack of bottled water sitting on another mound of fabric and old furniture. It was something that was no doubt used to stock the drink machine he had seen out front. Leaning in his seat, Vernon snagged two bottles of 'Tundratown ice' water out of the case, slipping one into Yuri's paw before easing back into his own seat and unscrewing the cap. Vernon watched the dark-wolf open his eyes at the sudden contact, his pupils darting to the bottle in his paws momentarily before finding their way back to Vernon.

“I thought y'all might be parched...so..." Vernon rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. “It ain't cold, but it's not exactly hot in here so it should be fine..."

Yuri simply stared at the wolf for a moment, blinking a few times before leaning up in his seat and uncapping the water. Vernon watched as the wolf took a long sip, taking in about a quarter of the water inside the container before pulling it away from his muzzle and letting out a satisfied sounding sigh. Capping the liquid, the wolf leaned back into the spools, letting the bottle rest on his chest as he returned to staring at the ceiling.

“That's how I got my second suspension Vern..." Yuri grumbled.

“What?" Vernon scrunched his muzzle in confusion. “Wait, yer blamin' me fer you gettin' suspended too now?"

Yuri sighed as he leaned forward, his head drooping in his lap as he leaned his elbows on his knees.

“You were in Zootopia fer a year I think." Yuri muttered. “Datin' that arctic wolf, remember her?"

“Anjou?" Vernon asked, taking a swig of his own drink as he quirked a brow.

“That's the one." Yuri smirked. “The one Ma said had more fluff between her ears then brains."

“Ma said that?" Vernon quirked a brow. Yuri simply rolled his eyes.

“I mean she was right..." Vernon admitted, rubbing the back of his neck uncomfortably. “But still..."

"Fact of the matter is she kept goin' on and on about how you were workin' yer tail off." Yuri cut the wolf off, setting his water aside before crossing his arms defensively. "Livin' with Gus, workin' night shifts at a fast food place to pay yer own way as much as y'all could." The wolf raised his paws, wiggling his fingers as he feigned an inspired looking expression. "Oooh...how damn novel of you." Yuri scoffed.

"Barely even congratulated me on breakin' up a huge night howler drug syndicate that same week." Yuri snorted. "The case that led me to meetin' Ada." The wolf scoffed. "By that point, we were just startin' out datin', but Ma glossed over that and went right back to you!"

The jet-black wolf lowered his gaze back at Vernon, squinting slightly as that familiar glimmer of hate returned.

“For the next two weeks that conversation just kept replayin' in my head, over and over..." Yuri muttered. Vernon could see the wolf's fists balling tightly around some of the stray clumps of fabric as he spoke. “And over again..."

Yuri closed his eyes, taking a deep of breath and holding it once again before slowly letting it out. The wolf's nostrils flared as he seemed to silently mutter something inaudible. Vernon watched the wolf fumble for his water without looking, making a few lame grasps at the fabric behind him before snagging the drink. In a blink, the wolf swigged another quarter of the bottle down, letting out a pleasant sigh as he capped the bottle and tossed it back onto the spool.

“I was able to keep my cool up until this..." Yuri let out a terse sigh. “Routine bust went all sideways on us." The wolf took in another deep breath, holding it for a few moments before letting it out. Vernon could hear his brother shudder as he exhaled.

“The dealer made a break for it." Yuri growled. “And since old spindly detective Eckhart was pitiful in a chase, it was up to me to catch the guy."

Yuri took in another shuddering breath. “And when I caught up to the guy..." Yuri continued. “ I pinned him to the ground, only to find out the guy was a wolf."

The wolf's eyes opened, those familiar piercing yellow eyes boring into Vernon's own as Yuri grit his teeth.

"A wolf who looked an awful lot like you..."

Vernon gulped quietly, biting his lower lip in order to keep from breaking into a full wince. Whatever picture Yuri was about to paint, was certainly not going to be a pleasant one.

“And he made the mistake of throwing a punch."The wolf placed his head in his paws, covering his eyes as he let out a sharp exhale.

“Yuri..." Vernon muttered.

In a flash, Yuri snapped his head out of his paws, his now wild eyes locked on Vernon, causing the wolf to jump in his seat.“I just rutting snapped!" Yuri spat, a frenzied look on his muzzle. “I just kept beating him again and again." The wolf mimicked the bludgeoning with his fist, pantomiming the blunt movements with one arm while catching the fist in his other paw. “Eventually two other officers managed to pull me off, but I was snarling and thrashing until they got me back to my squad car."

Yuri let out an uncomfortable chuckle, the awkward sounding laugh sounding particularly unnerving after Yuri's rather disturbing tale. “They actually tested me for night-howler exposure when they got me back to the station..." The wolf muttered. “That's how buck-wild I had gone on that fella."

“Sweet Sawgrass..." Vernon uttered in horror and disbelief. After all, he, along with the rest of his brothers loved to use Yuri's suspensions to get under his pelt for his usual remarks. But Vernon had never known the details. As far as he was concerned it was simply ammo to sling back at Yuri and nothing more. But after his horrid retelling of events, and the reasoning behind it, Vernon felt sick. Not just because of how extreme it had turned out to be, but because of who Yuri had been picturing during the whole affair.

"And that's when I was ordered to take mandatory therapy." Yuri sighed, slumping back into his seat with a listless flop.

“I...uh..." Vernon stammered, trying to regain some sort of footing in the conversation after that unsettling confession. “I imagine that didn't go well..."

Yuri sighed. "Goin' to therapy was like gettin' teeth yanked." Yuri grumbled. " I didn't see anything wrong with me. And I wasn't keen on openin' up to some little, wet rat who looked like my third-grade teacher." The wolf scoffed, throwing up a paw. "And what's worse was that Ada was supportive of it!"

“Why is that so bad?' Vernon asked.

“It ain't I guess..." Yuri muttered. “I mean, we hadn't been together that long but she picked up on my family issues real quick cause she recognized 'em and was fixin' to help." Yuri shrugged.

“No, I meant like..what's wrong with therapy?" Vernon continued, taking a sip of his water. “Ain't like goin' to therapy is somethin' to be ashamed of these days."

Yuri glared back at the wolf. “You got a therapist Vern?" The wolf hissed.

“W-well no..." Vernon replied. “But Dawn does." The confidence in Vernon's tone steadily increasing as he spoke. “I mean, it's done a lot fer her, and old Dr. Gnu is a swell guy." The wolf shrugged. “If I ever needed one, I'd be fixin' to see him."

Yuri scoffed. “Y'all remember who yer talkin' to right?" The wolf muttered.

Vernon simply rolled his eyes.

“Either way that's more or less what Ada said." Yuri gestured at the air with a paw. “Except instead of talkin' about yer lil' sheep, she was talkin' about her own experiences in therapy, and how it helped her deal with her family issues."

“And it...?" Vernon spoke softly, the wolf trying to be as careful with his words as possible. “Eventually helped you right?" The wolf asked.

Yuri shook his head dismissively. "Not at first." Yuri grumbled, leaning on a paw. "I wasn't open to it." Yuri sighed. "I didn't trust that shell cracker as far as I could throw her, so I tried lyin' long enough to get my free pass back to work." The wolf huffed.

“I take it by the way y'all phrased that, it didn't exactly go according to plan?" Vernon asked incredulously.

“No..." Yuri grumbled, crossing his paws defensively. “She saw right through me..." The wolf huffed. “The lyin' I mean. Not the stuff she was actually diggin' fer."

Yuri let out a sigh as he ran a paw through his mane of head fur, his eyes wandering back to the ceiling as he recounted his therapy. "By the time my suspension was supposed to be up, the only reason she gave my boss the okay fer me to return was on the condition that I agree to keep up the weekly appointments until she 'pried open this oyster'." Yuri grumbled, throwing Vernon a glance as he lowered his brows. “Her words."

Vernon chuckled. “Otter, I take it."

Yuri rolled his eyes. “They call the place 'Seaotter' fer a reason." The wolf muttered. “Place is lousy with aquatic rats."

“So what happened with her?" Vernon asked. “You say y'all opened up eventually?"

Yuri furrowed his brow. “Eventually Vern." The wolf muttered. “A very long eventually."

"I had only bein' seein' Miss Banks fer about half a year when Ma started pressurin' me about comin' home for the reunion that year, and introducin' Ada." Yuri sighed. "And when Ada caught wind of it, despite my best efforts at preventin' it, she got all excited about it." The wolf crossed his arms. "O'course I couldn't tell her y'all were the reason I was going to therapy in the first place." The wolf shrugged. "But she was so damn persistent...Both her and Ma...So I ended up cavin'."

Yuri reached for his water, taking a smaller sip than his previous ones before pointing the open bottle at Vernon. The jet-black wolf quirked an eyebrow.

"I'm assumin' y'all remember that particular reunion?" Yuri muttered.

Vernon gave the wolf a dull, half-lidded gaze. "I remember."

It wasn't hard to recall meeting Ada for the first time. The fear Vernon had been holding onto during the weeks leading up to that visit had left a strong enough impression on him to permanently etch the entire affair into his memory. He could remember the feel of rising dread as he rode the train that day, the gnawing unease at not only having to see Yuri for the first time since he had left for college, but that he was bringing a 'friend' along.

The prospect that some mammal had found Yuri appealing was nearly impossible for Vernon to wrap his mind around, and if Yuri were to be believed, that mammal could only be as awful and twisted as he was. At least, that was Vernon's reasoning at the time. Of course, being one of the first to arrive made the wait that much more agonizing to endure. The wolf found himself unable to fully unwind knowing that Yuri would be along at any moment to spoil the whole trip. Not that it wasn't already uncomfortable enough with Dorian's judgmental grunts and glares every time the topic of Vernon's schooling came up.

Watching Yuri guide the imposing looking hyena in the dark, spike studded jacket into the family dining hall was almost like watching an officer leading an inmate down to her cell. At that moment she gave off the kind of aura that told Vernon she would bite his head off if he made the mistake of even breathing in her general direction. But that image immediately shattered the moment she started talking. The nervous bouts of cackling coupled with her attempts at cheesy jokes to break the ice completely removed any preconceived notions Vernon had spent hours building up in preparation to protect himself from her. Unlike Yuri, Ada had turned out to be a blast to be around, which had only left Vernon to ponder just why a girl like her had decided to be with his bitter and hateful brother in the first place.

The whole time Yuri had done little to paint any sort of picture of himself that wasn't what Vernon already knew him for. Although he had started out remaining largely silent, limiting his vocabulary to simple grumbles and quiet conversations with Ada. It didn't take long for the Yuri he already knew to start shining through. His crass jokes, and put-downs had remained just as biting and nasty as the wolf remembered. Even with his best efforts at keeping up with Yuri, and throwing whatever he could back at him, including the suspension, it did nothing but manage to worsen the trip. And while his mother and brothers had done their best to defend Vernon, the wolf ended up making a promise to himself never to go to a reunion where Yuri was present ever again. To do anything and everything in his power to avoid the wolf until his dying day if possible.

"I remember..." Vernon repeated, his brow furrowing as he lowered his gaze on Yuri. "After that trip, I made a mental note to try my hardest never to show up fer a reunion you were at."

Yuri cracked a smile, the wolf letting out a dull chuckle as he regarded Vernon before taking another sip of his water.

“You ain't the only one Vern..." The wolf shook his head. “Or did y'all even notice?"

Vernon's muzzle crinkled in confusion. “What?"

“I came back from that trip not only with Ada lovin' our little family." The wolf hissed. “But takin' a weird little shine to you especially..."

Yuri capped his bottle, tossing it aside again before crossing his arms and letting out a huff. "She saw you like the rest of 'em did, and took to y'all like you were her best friend." The wolf hissed. "We actually almost broke up over it..."

“Broke up?" Vernon quirked an eyebrow. “Yuri, she's like a sister to me, you know I was never going-."

"You think I'm sayin' I thought you was gonna steal my girl!?" The wolf let out a barking laugh, slapping his paw with a knee in amusement. "Like you'd have a chance!" Yuri snickered.

“Oh!" The wolf ears sagged slightly. “Well...I mean...you don't have to laugh that hard." Vernon grumbled, slipping his water to his side and crossing his arms as he leaned back into his chair.

“Naw...naw..." Yuri said, wiping a tear from his eye as the last of his laughter died away.

"Naw, see...after that trip, it proved to me that nothin' back there had changed fer me." The wolf leaned up on his knees, resting his chin on a paw as he stared off at nothing in particular. "Fer me it was the final nail. The last straw." The wolf shook his head. "I was dead set on never goin' home again, and puttin' myself in a place where the only thing fer me is that role y'all put me in by default."

The wolf let out a tired sigh, pawing at his eyes softly as he continued.

“But Ada wanted us to go back whenever we could." Yuri grumbled. “Because she...She got to be like me comin' to Seaodder..." The wolf glanced back at Vernon, his yellow eyes uncomfortably sorrowful looking. “ Whatever thought's y'all had about her ya left 'em at the door. And everyone just took her on like she was part of the family at the drop of a hat." The wolf sneered slightly. "It made it all that much harder to endure."

With that, Yuri turned away from Vernon, his expressions now hidden with his back facing the wolf as he went on.

"So after months of bickerin', and pressure from the therapist, I made an agreement with myself that Ada was worth enough to stick out dealin' with y'all a few times a year." The wolf muttered. "But I didn't tell her that from then on, I was gonna be doin' my damnedest to make sure we missed the ones you were going to."

"Me?" Vernon laughed. "You mean, we-I?" The wolf's snickering continued, albeit in an awkward manner as he absorbed Yuri's confession.

“Wow..." Vernon let out an amused sigh, slowly leaning back into his chair.

“If I had known that, I wouldn't have needed to waste so much effort on my part to avoid you." The wolf let out another chuckle, but it trailed off as the deeper, underlying message began to filter into Vernon's mind. One that had built on what Yuri had said earlier, about his young self so long ago. That had stayed with him strongly enough that he felt the need to take it out on some strung out young wolf that looked a little too much like himself for Yuri's tastes.

“You really do hate me, don't you?" Vernon chuckled weakly.

“And you don't hate me?" Was the response that came from the dark furred wolf.

Vernon fell silent, the two wolves simply sitting in the now stilted, uncomfortable air for what seemed like ages as Vernon silently mulled over everything Yuri had told him. The wolf's skepticism was fading fast in the face of the massive deluge that was his brother's confession.

The story seemed far too elaborate and well thought out to be a twisted and manipulative prank. For whatever reason, Yuri was bearing his soul, to Vernon of all mammals. The wolf who had spent his own youth making sure that Vernon's was that much worse. Who's very existence had prevented the family ranch from ever truly being a safe haven to come back to when the cruelty of the outside world had proven too much to bear. And after he had left home, it was the looming shadow of Yuri's presence hanging over Vernon's head that had kept the wolf from visiting home for more times than he would have liked to admit. That had been more than enough evidence, in Vernon's opinion, to have Yuri's behavior pegged for life as a hateful troublemaker, who was dead set on making Vernon's life miserable at every opportunity.

But it was that same line of thinking that could easily be blamed for simply never being open to the prospect of Yuri reaching out. Of being anything other the exact same mammal, no matter how much time had passed. Judged by not only Vernon, but the entire family with a slate that never washed away. It reminded Vernon vaguely of his own thought process when he had chosen to rebel against society after losing Dawn. That awful feeling of being held up against the prejudiced, preconceived expectation of those around you to the point where it's easier to give up, and simply be the monster everyone expected you to be.

“Those ones I was at..." Yuri broke the silence, pulling the wolf's attention back from his own thoughts. “And you weren't..."

Vernon could see the wolf's back shudder slightly as he let out a terse sigh.

“They weren't perfect..." Yuri glanced over his shoulder, his yellow iris meeting Vernon's own with a serious stare. “But they were a lot easier to get through." The wolf shrugged as he averted his gaze once more. “Fer a while anyway..."

“Up until Zach's tithe right?" Vernon murmured. The gaps were quickly starting to close up in Vernon's mind as everything Yuri was saying began to slide into place.

Yuri's had seemed to nod in acknowledgment.

“Had to be there..." Yuri hissed. “Everyone had to." The wolf shook his head. “I knew it was gonna be a disaster, but I knew there weren't gonna be any excuse that Ma would take to let me out o' goin'.

“Same..." Vernon replied. “Not that I was going to miss Zach's tithe fer anything...I just mean-"

"I know." Yuri muttered, holding up a paw. "Part of me wanted to go fer Zach's sake..." Yuri slowly eased back into his seat, raising an eyebrow at the wolf as he turned to appraise him. "Part o' me...cares..."

Vernon placed a paw to his muzzle, listening intently as the wolf continued. His eyes had shifted back to the curtain as he let out another sigh.

“I think we can both agree it was a shit show." Yuri muttered. “And that was on me." Yuri glanced to Vernon from the corner of his eye. “I ain't passin' the buck on that one."

Vernon sucked in a sharp breath of air through parted teeth. Yuri's 'toast' had certainly been an uncomfortable scene. His belligerent mixture of a tirade of cruel jokes and implications laid out at Vernon's expense had gotten Vernon's blood boiling so badly that he packed up and left the next day without so much as a word.

"I was still reelin' from the hangover when Ada dragged me back to the airport the next mornin..." Yuri sighed. "And between fightin' with her and dealin' with what I did on the job...well... let's just say it wasn't too long a'fore I was suspended again."

“Number three..." Vernon muttered.

Yuri gave a simple nod. “I was already going to therapy, so they added 'anger management classes' on top of it." The wolf made air quotes with his fingers. “And Ada was furious."

Yuri placed a paw on his forehead as he leaned back into the fabric pile. "She was right too." The wolf sighed. "I wasn't bein' open with her. And she almost left me over it." Yuri's paw slid down, covering his eyes in the process. "I...couldn't...I didn't want to lose her."

“Because you love her. Right?" Vernon asked, smirking slightly.

Yuri's fingers parted slightly, allowing his eye to fall on Vernon.

“Don't tell her I said it." The wolf seemed to be hiding a smile. “But...o'course I love her."

Vernon rolled his eyes, doing his best to stifle a chuckle at Yuri's attempt to hold on to some semblance of his remaining bravado.

“So I Alpha'd up and told her everythin'," Yuri shut the seam he had made between his finger, hiding his eye once again as he continued to speak. “About how much seein' the family bugs me." The wolf snorted. “About how much seein' you bugs me, and how they treat the both of us. About havin' my mistakes thrown in my face every damn time I go home!"

The wolf pulled his paw free of his face, allowing it to listlessly flop to his side as he stared off at the ceiling.

“Everythin' I'm tellin' you now." The wolf glanced at Vernon once again, his golden irises finding Vernon's own. “And y'know what she said?"

“What?" Vernon asked.

“She told me that the only way thing are gonna change is if I be honest with y'all." The wolf replied. “That she weren't no therapist, but the ball was in my court when it came to actually makin' a change." The wolf muttered. “From her perspective, she believed y'all were good folks, and if I actually opened up things might...change fer the better."

Yuri eased up into his seat, leaning on his knees once again as he let out a sigh.

“And when I managed to tell the therapist, she felt the same way." The wolf glanced at Vernon, raising a brow dubiously. “With a few exceptions."

Vernon furrowed his brow in confusion. “What kind of exceptions?"

“Well, Miss Banks said that from what I told her, that the crux of everythin' is our relationship." Yuri gestured between himself and Vernon with a lazy paw. “I get angry and irritated when I feel the family is bendin' over backwards fer you, or defendin' you. So I lash out like when I was a pup." Yuri muttered, gesturing his paw back toward Vernon again. “And then, based on what she knew about y'all, said that in-turn, you get angry at me fer me givin' you shit." The wolf placed his paw back onto his knee. “And you either remind me of the shit I did as a pup, or the family does, and how little I've changed."

“She's saying...we're feeding each other's behavior at this point?" Vernon asked.

“At this point." Yuri replied. “Back in the day it might have been different. But now..."

“Bu-You...I di-..." Vernon struggled to rebuff the wolf's assertion. But as the therapist's 'prognosis' meshed in among the rest of the wolf's earlier statements, it became increasingly hard to argue a point against the otter's reasoning.

“Face it Vern, we bring out the worst in each other..." Yuri continued. “And it's all we know how to do."

Yuri was right. His therapist was right. As startling as it was to conceive, and as guilty as Yuri was of his own role in this self-sustaining cycle, Vernon was guilty too, even if his role was comparatively smaller in his own eyes. Vernon had become used to fighting Yuri, to having his retorts and one-liners ready well in advance of having to face any interaction with him. He had given up long ago on trying anything else, or even thinking of trying to deal with the wolf any other way.

“How was I..?" Vernon shook his head. “What did you..?" The wolf struggled to reply. Too many questions, all struggling to get out of his muzzle at once and colliding in his throat before withering out as incomplete sentences.

“Y-you never told me any of this." Vernon finally managed to reply, blinking dumbly at the jet-black wolf across from him."We never talked. W-we never..."

“I was never the talkin' type Vern." Yuri replied. “Hell I wouldn't be admittin' this to ya know if it weren't fer...I promised her."

Vernon furrowed his brow. “Ada?"

Yuri gave a slow nod.

“Miss Banks gave me two options." Yuri spun toward Vernon, leaning on his knees as he eyed the wolf. “Either cut the family out entirely." Yuri's muzzle tilted to the floor as he averted his gaze. “Or try and fix the problem by openin' up to the 'source' and workin' outward."

“And by 'source'...you mean..." Vernon pointed at himself with a weak, withering paw, only to receive an affirmative nod from the jet-black wolf.

“O'course I was against both options." The wolf sighed. “I was sure if I tried to bring it up, I'd either hackle things up or ultimatly get nowhere..." The wolf placed a paw to his temple. “But I couldn't bring myself to just...to just say to hell with y'all."

The wolf placed a paw on his neck, rubbing it uneasily as he glanced up and away from the wolf.

“As rutted up as this situation is..." The wolf muttered. “As rutted up as I am..." Yuri shook his head. “I...I care about my family."

The wolf let out a dull chuckle as he ran his paw back over his mo-hawk, stopping to rub his head before allowing his arm to slip back to his side.

“Ada knew that..." Yuri shook his head. “Which is why she agreed that I needed to 'Alpha up' and actually...say this shit to you." The wolf sighed. “That I owed it to myself, and to y'all to work things out. To finally get this weight off my shoulders and clear the air when I was ready."

“In fact...that's...was sort of the reason I decided to come out to this reunion."

Vernon drew backward slightly, his expression one of mild disbelief. “To have this talk?"

“And as y'all can tell by our faces..."The wolf muttered, gesturing between the wolves accumulated bruises and cuts from the day before. “I hackled things up that much worse fer tryin'." The wolf shook his head. “Just like I figured I would."

Vernon let out a barking laugh. “You mean to tell me that y'all beatin' me up was you tryin' to make things right!?" The wolf scoffed.

“I got drunk okay!" Yuri snapped back, crossing his arms defensively. “I was tryin' to muster the courage up to even try to approach makin' things better, and I needed the help!"

“Some help." Vernon retorted. “And considering how you behaved before the drinking I can't say-."

"I came out here with the best of intentions dammit!" Yuri hissed. "I wanted to surprise Ada and the family, and really try at turnin' over a new leaf." The wolf placed a paw to his temple. "But the second I saw you yesterday mornin' I slipped right back into it!" The wolf gestured his paws dramatically at the wolf across from him. "I tried but I just- I could-!" The wolf shook his head. "All that talk about yer new girl, knowin' who she was and that Pa was pissed!" The wolf directed a paw at Vernon. "That part of me, that deep seated part buried inside couldn't resist playin' into it further." Yuri let out a harsh, exaggerated breath. "To keep that wedge forced in there to make sure that this time everyhtin' didn't work out like it always did. To make sure Pa didn't eventually just give in and...ARGH!" Yuri clamped his paws to his head. "And so much fer that beca-!"

The wolf stopped short of finishing his sentence, letting out a harsh breath as he went back to counting down his breathing. The drawn-out, methodical exhales slowly but surely calming down the wolf to a point where he could continue. With the final, long breath the wolf's paws slipped off his head, coming down to brace themselves on his knees once more as he opened his eyes. His gaze returning to Vernon's own.

“Ada was right about somethin' else too." Yuri muttered. “Few things actually."

Vernon quirked a brow curiously. “What about?"

Yuri clasped his paws together, leaning in slightly as his attention returned to the floor.

“After that brawl, while you were hashin' things out with Pa...we had a huge fight about everythin'." Yuri muttered. “I told her what I was tryin' to do, but how hard it was to make good on it." The wolf glanced up at Vernon briefly, his golden eyes looking strangely sullen as he spoke. “Especially with things goin' the way they were." Yuri shook his head.

“The fact that Pa wasn't bendin' on givin' in to you was...just too satisfyin' fer me...the version of me that lives here." Yuri pointed a claw at the floor. “But Ada..."

“She just...she hit me with somethin' I'd never really given much thought about before..." The wolf turned his attention to the floor, his elbows resting on his knees as he studied the gritty looking rug.

"That if the tables were turned." Yuri sighed. "If it was me fightin' tooth and nail fer the right to get tithed to Ada." Yuri glanced back to Vernon, his eyes shimmering softly as he met Vernon's gaze. "Regardless of how we get along, you'd stand up to defend us."

Vernon was taken aback momentarily by yet another odd admission from the wolf. The words almost seemed to carry some sort of emotion other than a simple acknowledgment. Perhaps respect, or a begrudged sense of appreciation. But in that moment, Vernon felt as though Yuri was giving off the briefest glimmer of something resembling care. Care toward the brother he admittedly disliked most of all.

“O-of course Yuri..." Vernon murmured. “I mean...I do...er..." Vernon glanced at his feet for a moment. There was no easy way to say this, but it was the truth.

“Look...I don't hate you Yuri." The wolf glanced back up at his brother. “To answer yer earlier question."

Yuri furrowed his brow, flashing the wolf a dubious glance.

“I love you, as a brother." Vernon said. “But I...really don't like you. As a person."

In spite of Vernon's admission, Yuri cracked a wide, genuine smile.

“That's the other thing Ada was right about." Yuri chuckled.

“Wait, what?" Vernon replied.

Yuri shook his head dismissively. “After all this talk, all this openin' up." The wolf brushed a paw through his mo-hawk briskly. “I still don't like you either."

Vernon couldn't help but laugh.

“I mean I love y'all as my brother." Yuri smirked. “But as a person...y'all drive me nuts."

Yuri's smile faltered slightly as he turned his attention back to the floor, the wolf placing his paws together as he studied the faded, torn up rug at his feet. “So much fer therapy huh?"

Yuri idly kicked a foot at one of the loose spools laying on the floor, letting out a snort.

“All that work tryin' to put things in perspective..."The wolf muttered. “All the arguments with Ada." Yuri glanced back at Vernon, a genuine frown crossing his muzzle as he spoke. “Even after she put it all in perspective for me last night....I don't feel like anythin's changed." The wolf sighed. “It's like there weren't even a point to it all."

“Hey..." Vernon said softly, drawing Yuri's attention back to the wolf.

“Look, I..." Vernon muttered, shaking his head. “What you did today was a huge step." The wolf continued. “You shouldn't short change yourself for actually going through with it."

Yuri simply let out a low grumble in response.

"Makin' a big change, especially when it comes to somethin' so deep-rooted on yer inside, ain't somethin' y'all can just fix in a day." Vernon continued. "I know that enough from what Dawn's told me about her sessions with her own therapist. And I don't doubt that in the slightest."

"But that said, I'm proud of you for takin' that step." Vernon said, offering the wolf a soft smile. "Not that I haven't been proud of you before."

Yuri quirked an eyebrow. “Huh?"

“What, you don't think I'm proud of your accomplishments just because we don't get along?" Vernon continued. “I know fer a fact that with every one of those suspensions y'all got equal if not more accolades to back 'em up." The wolf said with a smirk.

Yuri tilted his head slightly. “Wait, what?"

“That drug syndicate you broke up, hell you had to work against some of the cops in yer own precinct to take that mess down." Vernon chuckled. “How many crooked cops you end up rootin' out in the process?"

“Fourteen." Yuri replied. “But who told y'all-?"

“You forgot Ma calls me too right?" Vernon chuckled. “ I probably hear just as much about what you and the others do as you hear about me and then some."

Yuri's eyes seemed to flicker momentarily, a hint of moisture glossing over his yellow eyes before he began to blink rapidly in a clear effort to shoo them away.

“And Y'all should take pride in that too." Vernon continued. “And you got Ada." The wolf raised a finger, waiving it at the black wolf warily. “Which I might add, y'all would be a fool to ever let that gal go."

Yuri's smile broadened to reveal his teeth, his chest swelling slightly as he placed a paw to his chest that implied a sudden swell of confidence despite averting his gaze once more.

“Pfft, that ol' yeen wouldn't let me even If I tried." The wolf laughed softly before trailing off into a pleasant sigh. “But...there ain't a day that goes by where I ain't thankful to have her."

“And so what if we don't like each other." Vernon shrugged. “We don't have to."

Yuri tilted his head in confusion, his ears lolling to one side slightly.

Vernon raised a finger. "We are two very different wolves." The wolf shook his head. "Even givin' our best efforts, we might never get along."

"But now that this is all out in the open, maybe we can learn to tolerate each other." Vernon said. "To learn to be civil with one another enough to actually be able to visit home at the same time without causin' a scene. And actually have a decent time in the process."

“Maybe..." Yuri muttered, the wolf scratching at his chin thoughtfully.

“We don't have to be the closest brothers in the pack." Vernon gestured to Yuri lazily. “In fact, distance is probably the healthiest thing for us." The wolf shrugged. “But our mates seem to get along really well, and when it comes to Ma and Pa..."

Vernon frowned as the realization came back to him. In the lengthy, unexpected discussion with Yuri he had almost entirely forgotten his current circumstances. Up until this point he had been talking as if there were future visits to the Hunter ranch in store for him and Dawn. That there was really a chance to work on getting along with Yuri in the long run when this was going to be the last reunion Vernon was allowed to attend. After all, for all of his admitted faults and troubles, Yuri remained a Hunter, while Vernon was, for the moment, nothing.

Vernon placed his paws on his knees, letting out a sorrowful sigh.

“Vern?" Yuri spoke, But Vernon's eyes remained on the floor. “Ya'll alright?"

“Eh...it's...it's n-nothing."The wolf said, doing his best to shake off the rather hollow feeling the realization had brought with it. After all, if Yuri hadn't brought it up, then the wolf clearly was unaware of thier Father's declaration as to Vernon's status in the family pack. And rather than risk tempting Yuri's more troubled side into taking over in light of such a discovery, the wolf was keen on riding out the rather rare moment of camaraderie between the two wolves.

However, despite Vernon's reassurance, it did little to change Yuri's level of concern.

“Hey..." Yuri shrugged. “ Like you said, we may not end up bein' the closest brothers in the pack." The wolf offered an awkward, uncomfortable looking smile.

“But there ain't no reason we can't shoot fer it right?" Yuri asked.

Vernon quirked a brow curiously as Yuri reached a paw into his breast pocket. The wolf fumbled momentarily before managing to yank what looked like some sort of strange tribal looking bracelet free of his tux before flinging it at Vernon.

The sudden projectile caught Vernon off guard, and the wolf almost failed to catch it as he clumsy reached his paws in the air. With the item now gripped tightly in his paws, the wolf began to carefully inspect the trinket. It was definitely tribal in nature, the wood cut shapes and carved symbols looks like something straight out of Afrikat. But the most eye-catching portion of the bracelet was the large, wood carving of a hyena skull with colorful face paint marking the features. Vernon tapped the skull gingerly as he dangled the bracelet from a paw before turning his attention back to Yuri.

“What is...?"

“What y'all got there is a bracelet Ada gave me." Yuri muttered. “It was a gift fer our first anniversary." The black furred wolf scratched the back of his neck uncomfortably as his eyes shifted away from Vernon. “I-It's...somethin' that means a lot to me."

Vernon eyed the medallion on the charm more closely, tapping it with a claw again. "Okay..." The wolf murmured before glancing back up at his brother. "But then, why are you giving this to me?"

“I made this promise to Ada." The wolf muttered. “And now I'm makin' it to you." The wolf ran a paw through his mo-hawk briskly, pressing his paw on it a few times in a clear attempt to force some of the 'spring' back into it.

“I told her last night that startin' right there, I was gonna try harder to be better." Yuri sighed. “And I want to try to extend the same deal to y'all." The jet-black wolf rolled his eyes slightly. “And so, with that in mind..."

Yuri held up a paw, pointing up one finger as he eyed the wolf across from him.

“One." Yuri spoke. “From now on, I ain't drinkin' around y'all anymore." Yuri flashed the wolf a mischevious grin. “We all know how that goes."

Vernon flashed the wolf a dull glare. “Right..."

Yuri seemed to ignore Vernon's rather doubtful sounding reply, instead simply pointing a second claw upward and continuing.

"And two." Yuri adjusted his tie slightly with his other paw, clearing his throat awkwardly before continuing. "I want you to wear that thing whenever we're around each other from now on."

The wolf gave a slight shrug. "I don't care what wrist y'all decide to wear it on, just make sure I can see it."

“Because...?" Vernon tilted his head curiously.

“If I start gettin' to ornery, or actin' too much like my...old self..." The wolf winced as the worlds 'old self' left his muzzle. “Just send up the ol' bird at me with the paw that bracelets hangin' off of."

Vernon couldn't help but smirk.

“You want me to..." The wolf chuckled. “Flip you off?"

Yuri rolled his eyes. “That thing yer holdin' will remind me of my promise to Ada." The wolf chuckled. “And my promise to y'all." The wolf grinned. “And hopefully reign me in a little bit."

Vernon inspected the charm once again, chuckling at it before slipping it onto his left wrist.

“So it's like a sacred talisman meant to keep y'all away huh?" Vernon smirked.

Yuri let out a scoff. “If that's how y'all want to look at it." Yuri shook his head. “Although the idea was it's supposed to remind me that we're aimin' to make things better between us from here on out..." The wolf averted his gaze slightly, an uneasy expression lacing his features. “Sort of a symbol of makin' an honest try at a fresh start..."

Vernon flashed the wolf a genuine smile.

“Thanks Yuri." Vernon replied. “I...It..." The wolf sighed. “Thanks."

Yuri nodded softly, the wolf clearly trying his best to stifle a smile.

“Hey." Ulric's voice drew the wolves attention to the curtain as the twitchy wolf poked his head in. His eyes darting from wolf to wolf in a frenzied manner.

“Uh..." Ulric murmured. “Aunt Abby's ready for Vern..." The wolf's eyes warily fixated on Vernon.

“Is he...cool?" Ulric asked.

Yuri rose to his feet, straightening his tie before turning his attention back to Vernon.

“It's a weddin' Vern." Yuri spoke, drawing Vernon's attention back on him. “Fer you and the sheep."

Vernon blinked at his brother in confusion as he struggled to make sense of what he was saying. It couldn't be true, yet Yuri's expression seemed genuine enough to take at face value.

“Yuri!" Ulric whined. “You weren't su-!"

“Aw hush you idjit!" Yuri snapped. “I know what I'm doin'!"

“A...A wedding?" Vernon asked in disbelief.

“That's what these damn pups have been stumblin' over themselves to keep quiet about." Yuri rolled his eyes. “More afraid o' spoilin' the surprise and riskin' Ma given' them the 'ol' glare' than keepin' you from sprintin' to the next county."

“B-but...how?" Vernon murmured, his lip trembling slightly as he spoke. “What about Pa, abou-?"

"It's a caprid weddin', ain't a tithe. And as fer Pa...well..." The wolf rolled his eyes. "He ain't gonna be around to object."

The jet-black wolf shook his head. "But that's about as much as I can say." Yuri held his paws up. "Yer just gonna have to trust me on this, alright Vern? If I don't keep some sort of element of surprise in this whole thing it makes this whole tag and bag thing kinda pointless don't it?"

Vernon winced, his ears drooping slightly. “Y-yeah..but-?"

“Trust me. There's a bit more to this, but I just can't tell ya." Yuri flashed the wolf a broad grin. Vernon was unsure if the smile was intended to be comforting, as it carried the vague hint of Yuri's mischievousness. “But I think y'all will be pleasantly surprised."

With that, Yuri held out a paw to Vernon, gesturing for the wolf to take it. Vernon simply stared at it in surprise for a few moments, watching the wolf flick his fingers in an effort to entice him to grab his paw. Vernon still wasn't very used to trusting Yuri, but to say the conversation hadn't managed to put considerably more faith in the wolf would have been a lie.

Vernon's confused expression slowly morphed into a smile as he took his brother's paw, the dark-furred wolf lifting him to his feet before releasing his grip. Yuri flashed the wolf a smirk. Across the room, Vernon could see Ulric cow his head, the wolf closing his eyes tightly as he turned away from the pair in a show of fear. It was as though the wolf were waiting for a bomb to go off.

“Now get out there, and get suited up." Yuri said. “ Gotta get you fitted fer the funeral fer yer bachelorhood. “

Ulric perked an ear, one of his eyes slowly opening as he regarded the two again. Slowly, a look of partial relief came over his features as he reluctantly slipped out of the room.

“I'm getting married." Vernon muttered quietly to himself. “I'm getting married?" He glanced at Yuri, only for the wolf to give him an affirming nod. It was starting to sink in. This was really happening.

“Sweet Sawgrass, I'm gettin' married!" Vernon placed a paw to his head, a goofy grin forming on his muzzle as he spoke.

“Thinkin' about runnin' now?" Yuri said, flashing the wolf a smug grin.

Vernon gave the wolf a disapproving glare, letting out a huff. “No!' Vernon replied. “Of course not!"

“Ah good, good..." Yuri grinned, giving Vernon a gentle push toward the curtain. “Was worried I was gonna have to put y'all down to keep ya from makin' a break for it."

Vernon chuckled halfheartedly as he neared the curtain, placing a paw on the frame as he looked back at Yuri.

“With what?" Vernon muttered. “Pruning shears?"

Yuri chuckled dully. “Well, since were still bein' all open and honest..." The wolf reached into his pocket, revealing what looked like some sort of compact firearm with black and yellow striping. “You weren't exactly as free to leave as y'all may of thought." The wolf snickered as he spun the weapon around a finger. “If you tried to bolt I was ready to pop a few thousand volts into ya."

Vernon shook his head. He should have figured as much. As always, Yuri didn't make a move unless he felt that the situation was entirely under his control at all times.

“Well....if were still bein' open and honest..." Vernon replied innocently. “I think it's time I tell you that..."

Vernon flashed the wolf a mischievous smile.

“I keyed the rut out of yer motorcycle."

Yuri's expression dropped before his muzzle twisted into a furious and hateful scowl. His fangs on full display as Vernon turned to rush through the curtain. Yuri let out a loud snarl as Vernon pushed through the fabric, the wolf extending his arm in a desperate bid to flash the bracelet. But the talisman was met with the sound of taser barbs firing, impacting the fabric of the curtain with a dull thud as Vernon just barely escaped.

#Zootopia #Assistant Mayor Bellwether #dawn bellwether #fanfiction #wastedtimeee #zoosona #fanfic #furry #askdawnandvern

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