#he did not know home could do that! they'd already had a very stressful and bad few months!

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

fantasy au scribbles!!

[apomaro-mellow]

Every Baby Needs a Daddy 12

Part 11

@spectrum-spectre before you say anything, there's no smut in this one so go to sleep and read it at a more reasonable hour

In Eddie's fantasy world, he took off in a plane with Steve, escorted him back to Indiana, dropped him off at the door of the home he'd be staying at, giving him a very thorough scenting before letting him go.

But Eddie had work to take care of and Steve said he would be fine. And Eddie had gotten the hang of figuring out when Steve meant what he said. It wasn't hard. Whenever he wanted to be spoiled, he put that bratty lilt to his voice. They parted ways, Eddie having rubbed himself all over Steve before they exited the car, then again before getting to the check out counter.

Eddie was avoiding notice by wearing his hair in a braided bun and big sunglasses. He insisted on getting Steve a first class ticket. It was the only way to keep too many people from rubbing against him and thus making his scent fade sooner.

"Don't miss me too much", Eddie teased, looking over the rim of his shades.

Steve wrapped his arms around his neck. "I already do, Daddy", he whispered. He kissed him and then murmured against his lips. "Can't stop thinking about it. In less than ten days..."

Eddie put his hands to Steve's waist. He couldn't wait either. They'd be reuniting for Steve's heat. But they weren't coming back together just for that. While Steve was pretty regular and was 99% it would come when he said it did, Eddie would have Steve on the first jet to Texas on January 1st.

Steve thoroughly enjoyed the luxury of first class and landed back home with less than half the stress of a normal plane flight. Eddie had been a little zealous in spending on him sometimes, and it reflected in how much money he sent to Steve so that he could get a ride at the airport. Steve had specifically told him that Lucas could have picked him up and then he'd be with family for the rest of the time.

Eddie must've heard something different because when Steve checked his venmo, he was several hundred dollars richer. When Lucas picked him up, he decided that money could be well spent doing some last minute shopping.

"You know, I'm actually kind of relieved", Lucas said as they packed the last of the stuff into his trunk.

"Why?", Steve asked.

"I thought when you started being a sugar baby and junk you'd turn into a different person. But you're still Steve."

Steve smiled. "Didn't go through a name change last I checked."

"You know what I mean. You were still cursing out the ref at the game back in DC. And you got Robin a mug with a weird picture, not like a diamond encrusted dog bowl or something."

"She's gonna love the mug more than that. And the ref had his blinders on for the whole first half."

Steve didn't realize how relieved he was to hear that though, that he had retained the real parts of himself even though he felt completely changed by Eddie. Would he start to change in time? How long would it take? His reverie was broken when Lucas pulled into the driveway of his home.

"Okay, so Dustin told my parents you were seeing someone and Mike told them it was someone famous but they don't know it's Eddie Munson."

Steve felt his stomach drop. "Do they know that I'm?"

Lucas shook his head. "You get to tell them that."

"You've gotta be fucking kidding me", Steve groaned.

The last thing he wanted to tell the people who helped him through the final years of high school and the first couple of college was that he was getting dicked down by a celebrity and was falling for him too. The Sinclairs were more like his parents than his actual mom and dad.

They didn't hold back either, bringing it up the moment he entered and they got their hugs.

"Dustin told us you're seeing someone?", Mrs. Sinclair said.

Steve snuck an ear twist as Dustin walked by with a grin, one that the Sinclairs definitely noticed but let him get away with. He had to be honest not just because of how important they were, but because they'd find out everything sooner or later. New traveled fast online and he was honestly surprised they didn't know more already.

"I met him one night at a bar. He covered my dinner when I was a little short", Steve said as his hands were kept busy helping with the food preparation.

"Sounds like a gentleman", Mr. Sinclair said.

Lucas and his friends were sitting in the living room, which Steve was thankful for. He knew they'd want to spill every last bean. He got away with giving them minimal info: Eddie's first name, the fact he was a musician, an alpha, and that they'd been on a few dates.

That night, he cornered Dustin and Mike and made them swear to keep their mouths shut about anything else.

"Lucas got basketball tickets. We should get something to", Mike said.

"How's about you don't get a tanned hide?", Steve offered, eyes hard.

Christmas went as usual, Steve spent the day of and day after in the Sinclair home, then returned to his own apartment where Robin was already waiting to celebrate New Years. He didn't get two feet into the door before she was feeling his stomach.

He rolled his eyes. "I'm not-"

"But you could be. I know you and your cumslut tendencies. So I know you're not making him wrap it up."

"But I'm still taking my birth control", Steve said.

"You just know that if you get knocked up I'll have no choice but to move back in with you and help you raise this pup", Robin said.

"There is no pup. And I wouldn't make you do that."

"I would though. For you", she promised.

"I know Robs. That's why I'm not gonna let it happen. If I wanna have his baby, you'll get a six month notice before we conceive."

"Thank you for that."

They spent December 31st ordering take out from three different places and binging Empire. When it got to the time for real festivities to begin, they turned the tv to where Eddie said he was going to be performing.

"So that's your beau. He's not bad", Robin complimented. "How's the rest of the band?"

"They're great. I think you and Jeff would really get along. He's actually really into brass instruments too. And Gareth knows a bunch of nerd languages."

"You mean like Klingon and Elvish?"

"And apparently he's learning Atlantean."

Midnight came and Steve kissed her forehead and Robin kissed his cheek.

--------------------

The next day, he was packed and ready to hop on his flight. Robin dropped him off and hugged him tight enough to hold him over until the next time they met. His ticket was first class again and when he landed in Austin, he was already feeling a tingling under his skin. He missed his alpha. Need his scent, his touch, the rumble of his voice.

Because of this, while he loved the other CC boys, he was a little disappointed to see them awaiting his arrival and not Eddie.

"The Ed-man had to finish something in the studio last minute", Gareth explained as they led Steve to the car.

"Thanks for picking me up, guys", Steve certainly preferred them over a stranger from Uber.

Grant drove the way back, taking them to a mansion that had Steve's jaw dropping. He was no stranger to big houses, but he was used to them being simply for status. They'd been grand but sterile, devoid of any personality. The moment Steve stepped in, he could see that wasn't true for this place. He could pick out each of the resident's scents, could see each of their quirks as he was given a tour of the place.

They saved Eddie's room for last and he found out when Eddie barreled down the hallway to meet them at his door.

"They're really good pack", Steve said as Jeff, Grant, and Gareth left the two of them alone.

"I knew I could trust them with you." Then Eddie kissed him about six times. "For all the missed mistletoe." Then again. "For New Year's."

Steve laughed against his lips. "You gonna show me the bedroom anytime soon? I'd love to lie down, Daddy."

Eddie bit his lip, looking nervous all of a sudden as he slowly opened the door. Steve wanted to take in everything. After all, a bedroom could tell you a lot about a person. But his attention was immediately grabbed by the bed situation and what was sitting on the bench in front of it. There was a thin quilt turning it into a canopy bed, much like the den Eddie had made in their hotel room back in New York.

Steve recognized the pattern from what he'd heard before. Jeff's handiwork. And by the foot of the bed was a small bench where a collection of clothes sat. Steve went right to them and took a whiff of the first shirt. It was so undeniably Eddie, he would have thought his neck was pressed to his nose were he not still by the door.

Then he picked up a tank top and caught notes of lemon and ginger. "Are these...?"

"I tried to scent a lot of stuff before you got here, the boys helped out too. I hope that was okay?" His hands were stuck in his pockets and his back was tensed like he might run.

"It's more than okay", Steve reassured him.

"And the den? You like it? I can always change it if you don't. We've got tons of linens here, all that can be scented in a moment's notice and-"

"Eddie", Steve put a hand to his arm. "It's great. Now...", he held up one of the garments. "Help me nest?"

Eddie swallowed and nodded. He followed Steve's lead as they arranged everything on the bed for maximum comfort. Once Steve was satisfied, he sank down into it, smirking when he saw the way Eddie gingerly lied down next to him.

"Your first time doing a heat?", Steve asked.

"I've been around omegas in heat before. Just not as the uh, let's say star alpha", Eddie admitted.

Steve turned so his back was against Eddie's chest and pulled his arm over him. It took Eddie a moment, but he got comfortable and melted against his body. The exhaustion from the flight and being up for hours finally got to him and Steve closed his eyes.

When he opened them hours later, his body was warm and he felt a wetness between his legs.

Part 13

Tag Team CLOSED

@awkotaco24 @lingeringmirth @littlewildflowerkitten @estrellami-1 @tartarusknight @velocitytimes2 @mrsjellymunson @trashcanniballecter @paintsplatteredandimperfect @a-little-unsteddie  @sllooney  @starman-jpg  @oxidantdreamboat  @xxbottlecapx   @newtstabber @tiny-enthusiast  @desidrarry-wolfstarshipper @y4r3luv @hello-fellow-nerds  @anonymousbandgirl @alyelf @potato-of-the-lord  @beckkthewreck  @croatoan-like-its-hot @pluto-pepsi @abstractnaturaldisaster @ellietheasexylibrarian @eyesofshinigami @dragonmama76 @greatwerewolfbeliever @chaosgremlinmunson @blackpanzy @millseyes-world @batxsignalsx @lilpomelito @goosesister @libraryofgage @aresthelostboy @royjaimie4eva @silenzioperso @she-collects-smut @lost-wondering-souls @eddielives1986 @marklee-blackmore

[0oolookitsme]

Such an Opportunist

This one was going be a rather sad and angsty one, but it quickly took a turn ...and hopefully, it was for the better. I'll surely write another fic for what I wanted this one to be, but nonetheless – I hope you enjoy this one!

Verse - Singer!Harry x Ceo!Y/n

Word Count - 1.7k

Warnings - Some new-parental-stress in the beginning.

Harry really needs to sleep, and Y/n is very shocked to learn that he's written songs she'd yet to hear. Also, Harry falls on some Lego bits and what better opportunity to ask for a back massage?

Please rb to share! | Masterlist

Harry was in the kitchen, making himself another cup of tea while chewing on some raisins. He could hear Amore playing with her toys around him somewhere and Y/n's humming voice was the only other sound travelling through the house -- apart from the whirring of the washing machine as well that Harry had thought he had broken on his first try.

Andre's wailing had quieted down, some sniffles being the only indication that he was still recovering from the fall. He had fallen from the couch onto the pillow that Y/n had laid on the floor just in case that very thing would happen -- and Harry and her both suspected that the little boy was just shocked.

"Hm, make me one too?" Y/n meekly requested on entering the kitchen, her fingers weaving through her hair to make a braid.

Harry turned back and automatically his first glance landed on Andre, feeling relief when he saw him playing with Amore on the carpeted floor -- and then, snaked his arms around Y/n's waist.

"Feelin' very sleepy today, thought another bedtime tea would surely be helpful" he chuckled hoarsely, before pecking her lips. "Don't know what I was thinking when I put the kettle on the stove," resting his head in the curve of her neck, he admitted. 

Y/n only sighed in response, swaying the both of them as she wrapped her arms around his slouched frame. She could tell that the sleep deprivation was beginning to mess with him. "Been craving a lot of Earl Grey, recently, haven't you?" She huffed out a laugh, pressing a kiss somewhere on his ear lobe.

He hadn't gotten much sleep last night, considering that the pair of twins were teething at the same time, and he was on duty. He and Y/n did all that they could -- from gum massaging to freezing milk popsicles. The silicone teethers and other toys were great help, but only during the day. It was the nighttime, during which Harry and Y/n lived the actual nightmare.

On the night prior to the last one, it was Y/n's turn to look after the babies, and it was one of the worst nights ever. So much so, that Harry was unable to go to sleep because of the loud wails and the fact that his babies were helplessly hurting. So, he was up along with her, although he remained in bed and held onto Amore who had been whimpering with her head nuzzled in his chest – all while looking at Y/n pace around the nursery they'd built out of the room right next to theirs, with a sobbing Andre clung to her chest, bouncing herself in different motions to somehow get him to relax, in the baby monitor

So, it only made sense for him to be tired and sleepy out of his mind.

"I'm glad you came home early tonight. Was hoping you'd sleep in early," Y/n mumbled as she scratched his scalp, something that never failed to soothe him. "I'll take care of tonight. Got to peel some peas, too, you know?" Chuckling, she continued -- "It's been a while."

Harry hummed back, taking a deep breath before rising back to his height. He pressed a chaste kiss on her upper lip, and placed his hands on her love handles, already missing the warmth of her neck and Andre's baby scent that lingered there.

"Only had to do some composing today," he told her. "Pretty happy with the way the song's turning out," he smiled before he moved over to take the kettle off the stove. 

It made Y/n smile, that they were finally talking about something that wasn't in regards to their children or about how tired they were. Because those two topics seemed to be the only thing that they ever talked about these past few days, and she was beginning to anticipate a fight brewing somewhere in a dark corner, away from sight.

Sliding her bottom on the kitchen island, she sat cross legged on it and -- "Oh really? I'm so happy!" She chirped. "Tell me more!"

She heard him laugh lightly, and she felt as if she were glowing because of how happy she'd gotten. "C'mon! I wanna know!" She urged him to hurry as he waited for the tea to leave its flavour in their cups.

Harry laughed again, as if her happiness was contagious.

"You know the song I told you about, the day before yesterday? The one which I described as silently and shyly explicit?" He asked her, turning around with a cup in each hand. He was holding the body of her cup so that she could hook her fingers through its handle and wouldn't burn herself with how hot the cup was, and Y/n's heart felt like it was merely a puddle in her chest cavity.

She hummed in response, motioning him to sit and giving him a look when he only leaned his bottom on the kitchen counter, and crossed his feet at the ankles in front of her.

"Well, I named it 'Keep Diving'," he gleamed. "I can't wait for you to hear it! I think we just have to give it some touch-ups tomorrow," slurping on his tea just to annoy her, he grinned proudly.

"So... am I going to hear it tomorrow, or when the whole album is ready?" She asked him with narrowed eyes, pointing a finger gun at him.

Harry laughed out loud and immediately held his cup a little farther from his chest so he wouldn't spill the tea on himself. "You've heard every song I've made so far! Music For A Sushi Restaurant, Late Night Talking, Satellite, As It Was, and Grapejuice," he recapped the song titles for her.

"And, Keep Driving, of course," he said. "Which I think I'll let you hear once the album is ready, along with a few other ones," a smirk pulled one corner of his lips upside and dug a dimple in his cheek. He was growing a stubble.

Y/n gasped loudly; mouth wide open and eyes stilled at him in shock. "There are multiple songs you're hiding from me?" She exclaimed, placing her cup beside her before she could drop it.

Harry pretended to run, looking anywhere but in her eyes. "You are the first person to listen to anything I write! I'm just planning to surprise you with ...a few," he accepted sheepishly.

Her eyes had now fallen in suspicious slits that glared at him. "How many?" She asked, swinging her legs off of the island.

"I mean, there are songs I still need to write but... I've got 3, I think, that you don't know about," he emphasised as if that'd save him from her hands that seemed to be ready to attack him with pinches and tickles. So, he quickly chugged the last few sips of his tea that had gone cold by now, and slid the cup on the counter before taking off from the kitchen.

He ran carefully so he wouldn't slip in his socks, but that wasn't helping because she was running after him without a care in the world. Although, it was when she began laughing and shrieking behind him that Harry couldn't help but turn to see what had caught her attention that was funnier to her than them being grown-up adults, running after each other like they were kids again.

And the sight amused Harry to the level that he had to stop to laugh at it, which caused Y/n to slam into him because she was looking behind her instead of looking ahead.

Hary went tumbling down on the Lego bits the kids had built and he cried out loudly in pain, the pieces digging into his back as Y/n fell over him. She was laughing at him but her eyes showed concern for him, and before she would've gotten up to help him, the two little bodies that were running behind her came and halted at her feet.

She sighed in relief, slightly proud that they already held that certain maturity but then Andre bent his knees, and made a big jump on her back as if she were playing horses with him and Amore followed soon behind him, crawling up Y/n's leg and stopping once she was sitting behind Andre.

"Oh my -- god," Harry gritted through his teeth, wrapping his arms around Y/n so the kids atop of her wouldn't fall in case his groaning body tilted to the side in pain.

"Oh my god," Y/n also hissed, mainly for Harry but also because of the attack on her poor back. Her face still showed amusement as she tried to reach for the kids' hands above her and get them off of her. "Get up, Andre, Amore – get up," she urged them and sighed when they did.

She exhaled in relief on her back, but then Harry groaned again beneath her.

"Get up, Y/n," Harry gritted once more and Y/n stilled in realisation before rolling over, onto the floor on her back, spewing apologies.

His eyes were tightly shut when Y/n got up and offered him her hand. “H, give me your hand,” she asked of him, feeling warm inside that the kids were each on his sides and pressing their little hands on his biceps, shaking him thinking he was asleep.

Harry took in a ragged breath before opening his eyes, wincing when the kids shouted in delightment that they had woken him up. But, nevertheless, he set a pointed look on Y/n at once.

“I’m not letting you get away with this so easily, woman.” He said in a strained voice. “You better get you oils ready to rub ‘em in my back.”

That made Y/n gasp once again and she placed her hand on her hip while pointing a finger at him with the other one. “You’re such an opportunist! Taking advantage of the situation!” She called him out with an accusatory tone to her voice, and only shook her head when he shrugged with a menacing smile on his mouth, grasping at her withheld hand.

[thedeafprophet]

20. Kissing in a stairwell, giving them an artificial height difference.

for Jamie and May because I think Jamie deserves to be taller than May for once sdfghkfds

20. Kissing in a stairwell, giving them an artificial height difference.

Upon The Stair

'...Is this an intrusion?” He moves forward, closer into their space, a gloved hand coming up to cup their cheek and tilt their gaze further up towards him. “And here I was, under the impression that my presence was invited. How kind of you, to remind me of my manners.” A moment between The Manager and The Author, for one must make up for any rude transgressions upon ones space.

Word count: 866

Rating: Teen Tags: Kissing, Height Differences, Mostly Just Fluffy Cute Stuff For Once

Also on ao3

Prompt list from here.

“You know,” Jamie says leaning against the archway in the hall with the quirk of a brow,“it is quite rude to intrude upon someone's home, no matter how many times you take it upon yourself to see yourself in.”

It was late too, Mary-Anne having already retired for the night, or no doubt she would have thrown a fit to see him in the home with no prior calling once more. For the best really, Jamie sheepishly knows they put the woman through enough stress already. 

Jamie had been settled in the sitting room for a late night cup of tea, reading into the latest novel they'd gotten their hands on, when they heard the oh so familiar tap of a silver capped cane, vision fuzzy on the edge of their peripheral. The clearest sign of any for an unexpected visitor, though not, of course, an unwanted one. 

Getting up to investigate, they found him standing in the entry hall, seemingly fascinated by the new painting Jamie had gotten hung upon the wall - an impressionist piece they'd purchased from an up and coming artist, always finding themself inclined to support the arts that were pushed back against. 

The Manager turns to look at them as soon as they make their statement, his ever present smile seeming slightly more genuine when his gaze meets theirs. 

“Is that so? Is this an intrusion?” He moves forward, closer into their space, a gloved hand coming up to cup their cheek and tilt their gaze further up towards him. “And here I was, under the impression that my presence was invited. How kind of you, to remind me of my manners.”

Jamie's not entirely sure why he's here tonight, as they glance up to meet his gaze. They're not in any particular state this evening, no more out of it then their baseline is these days. They shan't presume he's come just because he wanted to see them but- well, certainly he must get lonely too. A single performer can be grand, but it's only with a company that a show can truly be performed.

Jamie steps back slightly, moving out of his hold, before turning to dive under his arm in a quick movement. They move backwards toward the stairwell, turning to face him as they speak, the inkling of an idea forming in their mind.  

“Yes, it is!” Jamie can't keep down the amused smile at their play. “In fact, I think I'm rather quite insulted. It's very presumptuous of you - and a disgrace upon my honour!” They take a couple steps up onto the stairwell, before leaning on the banister to stare down at him.

Even now, it doesn't make them that far above him. They smirk down at him regardless, basking in the brief moment of being taller (or at least, being higher up). 

The Manager simply looks amused at their antics, seemingly in the mood to play along with their games. It was always fun for Jamie when he was - though, they never really did begrudge when he had other plans in mind.

“I see I have made a great error in my judgment. “ His words are laden with humour. Both of them know that Jamie cares very little about his habit of showing up unexpectedly. (Both of them know there's very little they could do about it anyways.). “Perhaps, then, there is something I must do? To account for my transgression?”

 Jamie's eyes flick down to his lips, smirk spreading out on their own face. “Oh, I don't know. Perhaps there is something, if it is to be on offer.” They lean forward towards him, leaving it to him to close the rest of the gap. 

A hand reaches up to lightly hold at the hair on the back of their head, before The Manager leans up, his lips at last meeting theirs. The scrape of his beard against their chin is familiar to them by now, but Jamie's pulse flutters all the same at the contact, eyes closing as they lean into the kiss. 

Jamie moves their hands to hold the base of the back of his head, trying to pull him closer as possible, aiming to avoid knocking his hat off just yet. They are oftly unused to this angle - it is rare that they're on the taller end of kisses, and most certainly not with him. Most events require some form of bending on his part - or other, different ways to put them on a more equal level. At least he's able to pick them up, not everyone has such capabilities.  

They're still smiling as they pull back from the kiss, breath quickened just a bit as they open their eyes to look down at him. 

The Manager smirks up at them, evidently feeling as if he'd won the interaction, but even he was still leaning forward himself, closer into their space. 

“And has that laid everything on account for? Or must I continue to abate my actions?”

“Hm, let me think on it.” Jamie says, a mischievous twinkle rising to their eyes.“What else might you have on offer?” 

They'd like to know their options first, before they decide.  

[coraniaid]

For the Top Five thing, Top Five Episodes of Buffy that don't have Faith in them but do make you think about Faith?

Not in any order except chronological.

When She Was Bad

Obviously I don't think the writers had the slightest inkling about Faith when this episode was written -- I very much doubt they'd even started to think about Kendra, honestly -- but in some ways this still feels like a Faith origin episode to me. 

So much of how Buffy behaves in this episode would go on to be echoed by Faith the following season.  The insistence on doing things alone and not relying on others (Buffy's refusal to let any of her friends try to help her mirroring Faith's "I'm on my side, and that's enough"); to refusal to tell the people she cares about them that she cares (Buffy's too-late admission that she missed Angel over the summer mirroring Faith's "Uh, Buffy? ... Nothing"); the conflation of sex and violence (the way Buffy demands Angel tell her if he thinks he could “take” her mirroring Faith asking the same thing of Buffy herself).  Even the sudden feigned interest in Xander (as a way of trying to make the actual object of her affections jealous) fits.

Ted

Not just because it’s the first time the show asks what would happen if a Slayer accidentally killed a person, not just because the detective who investigates the death is the same man who will later investigate Finch’s death in Consequences, not just because Ted himself – with his cultivated wholesome image and the lurking unspoken threat of violence and his love of mini-golf – feels like a foreshadowing of the Mayor, but because this is perhaps the one time we see Buffy feel unsafe in her own home because of something ordinary rather than supernatural.  Which I think is something that Faith could relate to.

(By the way, you should read @explosionshark’s Common Ground if you haven’t already).

Anne

This is the first episode in which I think the Buffy/Faith parallels are probably intentional.  It's very hard for me not to watch Buffy alone in her apartment in LA and not be reminded of Faith in her motel room.  So much of Season 3 is about stressing the importance of Buffy’s family and friends in her life (as shown by their absence in The Wish, or by the Class Protector scene in The Prom, or the end of Graduation Day), with Faith as a version of Buffy who didn’t get those things (hence Faith’s “you get the Watcher, you get the Mom, you get the little Scooby Gang.  What do I get?”; and  Buffy’s earlier “Different circumstances, that could be me.”)  And in Anne we see a Buffy who doesn’t have those things, and who is – until she’s talked out of it, by one of the people she already helped save in Sunnydale – an awful lot like Faith.  (Not the same side of Faith that we saw foreshadowed in When She Was Bad, but still I think an aspect of Faith nonetheless.)

Restless

There are a lot of episodes I wish Faith appeared in, but if I could pick just one it would have to be Restless.  And -- given that Faith is actually talked about quite a lot in Season 4 (in a way she isn't in Season 5 or 6 or even the first half of Season 7) -- I’m inclined to think that she might have if Dushku had been available.  We know that Willow and Xander and Buffy are all still thinking about her, after all, and that they were even before she woke up from her coma. If nothing else, she'd have made a lot more sense as the voice of the First Slayer ("No friends! [...] We are alone") than Tara did.

Dead Things

Season 6 is the only season after her first appearance in which Faith’s never mentioned at all, and also the season where Buffy herself is the most like Faith (crawling out a grave in Bargaining the way Faith did in her dream in This Year’s Girl, struggling with money for the first time in a way that Faith had to have been doing for the first half of Season 3 even though we rarely see it; not able to find meaning or purpose in her life except through supernatural violence).

And arguably that most Faith-like Buffy becomes is in Dead Things, which itself is full of very deliberate nods to both Bad Girls/Consequences and This Year’s Girl/Who Are You?  Both because Buffy (believes that she) kills a person, but also because the way Buffy seems almost relieved to be able to give up and turn herself in to the police echoes the way Faith herself eventually did just that (at Buffy’s prompting) in Sanctuary.

[nimata-beroya]

For day 1 of @bahrynfestival I'm sharing an idea for a fic that I want to write someday, and fulfills the prompt of "In another life".

So here it goes. Imagine this:

Everything happens pretty much the same except for a small, but very important detail. What if Zeb was not only a captain of the Honor Guard, but also of the Royal Family of Lasan. Being a distant relative of the queen (like third cousin or something), he was so down in the line of succession, that in his youth, he never imagined he could sit on the throne. Neither did he have the desire to do so. The only way he could do that, however, was if his entire family die… and then the Siege of Lasan happened.

He still escaped his home planet and eventually joined the Ghost Crew. He never said a word about his royal status. But the day the crew rescued Chava and Gron, he's forced to face the fact that he's the sovereign of his people when Chava started babbling about the prophecy of "The king, the warrior, and the fool". He managed to keep the fact hidden by admitting that he had been an Honor Guard, but taking advantage of his unwanted position, he forbade Chava and Gron to tell the others anything else. Chava was not happy about it but recognized he wasn't ready for taking the responsibility as king, so she kept her mouth shut, for a while. Besides, the prophecy came true, Lira San was found.

Every time she brought the subject up in the later years, Zeb always had the excuse of being fighting the Empire; that it was his way to serve and protect his people. Not entirely untrue, but once the war is over, it wasn't a good excuse anymore.

You might be wondering where was Kallus in all of this, well, he still was a bastard ISB agent: he and Zeb still got stranded on Bahryn; he still became Fulcrum, and eventually defected from the Empire. And of course, they both were stupidly in love with each other, pining each other endlessly, making everyone around them wonder when they'd kiss already. It happened on Endor, during the celebrations after the second Death Star blew up.

The first months after that were a true honeymoon, until Zeb started to be a ball of constant stress, and Kallus asked him what was going on. It took some serious encouragement, but Zeb finally confesses that the group of Lasan survivors along with some Lira San natives wanted to reclaim Lasan.

At first, Kallus think Zeb is upset because they'll be apart for a while, which he'd understand, but when Zeb he'd have to stay in Lasan because he's their king...

"Excuse me, you're their what?!"

Zeb asks Kallus to go with him, because he can't do it alone, he doesn't know how to rule, he doesn't want to. Kallus refuses at first. He's terrified of offending other survivors with his presence. It was already hard to accept Zeb's forgiveness, but others wouldn't be so gracious. But in the end (and with the help of Chava, using the prophecy as an argument) Kallus goes with Zeb.

A few Lasats weren't too happy about his presence, but for the most part, they saw Kallus' help to restore Lasan as his atonement for his participation in the siege. He was giving them back part of what he took away from them.

During all this, Chava had a side scheming going on. She never told Zeb and Kallus that there was a second part to the prophecy, which said that the King and Warrior would lead their people to a golden age. As part of their coronation rituals for Zeb, whoever was destined to become the consort to the sovereign would find a branch of a specific, very special tree that later would become the royal scepter. She left those finer details out of the explanation when she asked Kallus to help her find a branch for Zeb.

Zeb was surprised and flustered when he saw Kallus coming with the branch in hand knowing its significance, especially because there a bunch of people around who also knew.

"You didn't tell him, did ya?" he said to Chava, who had the smugest grin.

"Tell me what?" Kallus said, scared that he did something awful.

Zeb explained and ended up asking him to mate with him, awkwardly because it's in front of everyone.

So that's how Alexsandr Kallus became Prince Consort to King Garazeb Orrelios of Lasan. And both restored and led Lasan to a golden age, just like the prophecy said.

The End.

[kyl3gutz]

headcannon time !!

This is a big headcannon post pertaining to the 2020 halloween gif because I'm a curious boy here. plus we're close to the spooky season so I think it's a good time to post this for festivities sake

this is a post about how I think each of them died :3 TW: Discussions of death

theres the gif I'm on about, I know that this is probably meant to be them in costumes but LET ME HAVE FUN BROOO

this takes appearence into account as well as what is known about each character, let's go!

We'll start with the one I'm most certain on and end on the one I'm the least certain on.

So first up is Wally!

Although I see damage, I believe he did simply pass thanks to old age. Nothing else really says much, his glasses aren't in a condition where I could argue for blunt force or anything (you'll see why I mention this when we get to Doan), and I think it's more plausible that he died via old age thanks to being rather old.

Next up is Papa Louie !

Although I'm unsure, I think this was a simple assassination. He doesn't have many enemies but who he does have? Yeah, they'd hire someone to kill him (or just up and kill him themself!) so I think he would've been assassinated.

Next is Rita!

I REALLY WANNA SAY SOMETHING EDGY but I'm going to be real, she probably died of stress. I think she got too stressed at the burgeria one day and just dropped dead. She's visibly in her uniform, it could've been rioting that led to the stress that therefore killed her since she's all ruffled up but I think that's more from her coming out of the ground and all.

Next is Yippy!

Her and Doan are interchangeable in this list, both of them I am equally mixed on my deductions. I believe Yippy got lost in the woodlands up where she lives before she got MAULED BY A WILD ANIMAL. Her clothing is very ripped, and her stance tells me she's restless, more so than the others. I think it's mainly plausible since A, she lives in Maple Moutain, which is visibly surrounded by forest and B, she's a cookie scout that would maybe be in that sort of area since well, cookie scouts are girl scouts right? It makes sense to me.

Next up is Doan!

sadly no zombie photo thats not the gif. since he already had the zombie costume.

So, I think since his glasses are fairly off his face and ruined, he might've gotten into some kind of fight or trouble? His glasses are too ruined for me to argue that it's a result of being buried, thus why I argue a fight. Although that is out of character, thus why my second choice is choking for his cause of death. It's as unremarkable as he himself is.

Next up is Taylor!

I'm gonna be so real, he stumped me at first. I think the fact that he's permanently frowning tells me his death was terrifying for him. So I'm sorry but I'm arguing murder. I think he was at home sleeping, and a robber broke in. He unfortunately woke up (I see him as a light sleeper) and had a confrontation with said robber, resulting in his untimely demise.

Finally, we have Vicky.

ok what do I say? I'm very unsure but she's visibly roughed up and clearly a bit more low down, which makes me think she sustained a fair bit of physical injury. As seen in her flipdeck, her skills in makeup have mixed results. So, I argue she pissed someone off on accident and they killed her. Either that or just, stress or natural causes. I unfortunately did have to cop-out but I'm genuinely unsure.

[skepticalfrogcat]

Here you all go, the happy part 3 you all were promised.

And I know that for the last part it was just a suggestion to read the previous part, but for this one I'm going to go ahead and say you have to have read the previous part in this series in order for major scenes in this fic to make any sense to you. You have been warned!

(Also I was told that I should tag @choicesficwriterscreations ! Thank you to @lovehugsandcandy for telling me this!)

Relationship: Finch Parnassus (MC) x Aerin Valleros

Warnings: Minor angst. With a happy ending I promise! And as I said in a post I made a while back, it's mostly very soft emotional stuff, nothing too serious.

Word Count: 3,007

Summary: Finch and Aerin take a trip to Riverbend.

Since the end of the battle with the Ash Empress, and the decision to keep the portals open, Finch had been busier than ever. It seemed as though everyone was competing to get him to pay attention to their personal gripes and grievances, and he only had the time and energy for so many of them. Most of the time he ended up directing them to someone who could actually help, because his reputation often gave people the false idea that he had endless talents, which simply wasn't true. Often, there was no way he could properly accomplish the tasks they gave to him.

Luckily, he'd been spending most of his time with the goblins in the Whimsywood, which was far enough away from the bustling environment of Whitetower for his liking. Evidently, and a bit to his surprise, he had a much higher tolerance for handling people's requests when he was in the middle of the woods. Of course, that wasn't the only part of living in the Whimsywood that he was especially fond of.

He'd moved into one of the houses that had already been built into the trees. It was a more permanent residence, more than his room in the castle had been at least, and he was content with it. Truthfully, he would've been happy to start living anywhere, given that he'd be living with Aerin. It had been proven to him time and time again that he could find happiness anywhere they could be together.

After they'd settled in, they actually hadn't had time to do much other than help rebuild. There wasn't much destruction, and Finch was grateful every day that he'd made the right choices in order to keep it that way. Most of what he'd been doing was diplomacy, sorting out conflicts between people passing between realms. It did settle down after a while, though. The hectic nature of his environment persisted for a few weeks at the most, and after that it was over. Everything became sort of… normal. He hadn't experienced that in kind of a long time, longer than he'd realized. He wanted to take advantage of it while he could, because he knew that eventually something would arrive to stir things up again.

And so, Finch and Aerin had decided to take a trip. Not a big or extravagant one, but a well-needed one nonetheless. It was kind of like a little vacation. Finch had realized that Aerin had never actually been to Riverbend, which he knew needed to be rectified. The destination was agreed upon very quickly, partially because it would provide the relatively stress-free break that they both needed, but Finch knew it was also because Aerin had been able to tell how important it was to him.

The trip from the freshly revived Whimsywood all the way to Riverbend had been a long one. Finch loved visiting home, he did, he simply wished that his Realmwalking abilities provided some method of faster travel. He was sure they might, to someone older or more experienced, but for the time being he was stuck traveling mainly on foot. Besides, he wasn't entirely confident that he'd be able to bring anyone else with him that way anyway, which happened to be fairly necessary for this trip.

Given how tiring it had been to make it to the town, all they'd really been able to do on their first day there was sleep. Kade was still working in Whitetower, but the place they'd lived in together was still available to them whenever they wanted it. That was one upside to having grown up in such a small village: it was almost like everyone was family. Even if he weren't the Savior of the Realm - which would never stop being strange to hear - he was sure he and Kade would still have their room above the local tavern, because that was how things worked in Riverbend. People always did favors for each other.

The second day in Riverbend, though, they were actually able to explore a bit. They went to the river, the town's namesake, where Aerin had been able to do some drawing while Finch chatted away beside him. After that, they'd gone to a couple of Finch's personal favorite places, like a bakery he and Kade had been going to since they were kids, and a really old archery range someone had set up in the woods where Finch had practiced with a rudimentary bow in his younger teen years.

By the time evening was rolling around, they'd made their way back to the tavern. Their plan had originally been to retire back upstairs, but the tavern was much more populated by then, and naturally there were demands for the two of them to stay for a round.

“Why don't you tell us something, Finch?” One patron suggested, gesturing with the pint in his hand as he spoke.

“Ah, you all know I'm no good at it,” Finch waved him off. “Just wait for Kade to come back around, I'm sure he'll have something great for you when he does.”

“Come on, just one new story, and then we'll leave you be,” a girl standing nearby attempted to barter. “Why don't you tell us about… a beast you fought?” she suggested.

“I'm sure Kade's told you all about those a million times over, because I'd bet all of you that you've done this exact thing to him before.”

“We don't have to bug him, he just does it!” Someone called out from the back of the bar. Everyone laughed, and it did make Finch wish his brother were here, but he knew they'd be back in Riverbend together eventually.

Finch leaned over to speak to Aerin, lowering his voice so only he could hear. “What do you think? Should I throw them a bone?”

“Personally, I'd really like to hear which one of your escapades you think is entertaining enough to please a room full of mildly drunk people,” Aerin muttered back. “Especially with the way you tell stories.”

Finch laughed, bumping his shoulder against Aerin's. “Don't pretend you don't listen to them every time.”

“Go ahead then.” Aerin gestured to the rest of the room with a nod of his head. “Prove me wrong.”

Aerin had always been quite good at getting Finch to do practically anything. Finch left his spot leaning against the wall and went to take up an empty stool along the bar, which was more central to the room. Then he started telling the story. He'd chosen to tell them about the time he and Mal had met a mermaid near the Shimmering Isles, because he knew that one had a good enough balance of action and glamor to hold just about everyone's attention, no matter what sort of story they favored.

Truthfully, he was a rather terrible storyteller. Kade could tell a story as if it were happening in real time, always getting the details just right with perfect timing and impeccable vocabulary. Meanwhile, Finch frequently had to backtrack to include details he'd forgotten to mention, and he often forgot what he had and hadn't already said. He was lucky he at least had charisma. Even still, every time he'd glance over at Aerin, he'd be looking back, intently listening as he always did.

When he finished the story, a few people did request another, but that time Finch was adamant about his refusal. It was already further into the night than he'd been planning on staying out. He did receive a few playful jabs about the fact that he was turning in early, but he'd been expecting them. Most of the patrons of the tavern had a slightly warped view of what ‘early’ meant anyway.

So he and Aerin went upstairs, back to the room they were staying in. It wasn't very large, and it was barely furnished. All that was really in the room was a small, tattered rug on the ground, a nightstand with a single lamp on top of it, and the two beds he and Kade had slept in since they were much younger. But, despite the fact that he'd lived in much more lavish places since leaving Riverbend, Finch still thought of this room as home. Aerin didn't seem to mind it either. Finch knew he'd never been suited to the extravagance of the castle.

“Do they ask you to do that a lot?” Aerin asked, already in bed after having gotten ready.

“What, tell stories? No, not usually.” Finch pulled his shirt off over his head and put on the pajama pants he'd brought. “I'd say I'm pretty low on the list, even without Kade here. Honestly I think it's just because you were there.”

“What do you mean?” Aerin moved over on the bed a bit as Finch settled in beside him. It was really only meant for one person, but that didn't matter. Even though they'd never discussed it, Finch had a feeling that Aerin didn't like sleeping alone. Not after all those nights in the cell. “Were they trying to make you seem impressive or something?”

“No, not quite,” Finch laughed. “If anything, they were trying to get me to make a fool of myself in front of you. Kind of like what Mal does to Tyril all the time. Luckily, you love me too much to be embarrassed of me, even if I am a terrible storyteller.” He gave Aerin an exaggerated kiss on the cheek.

Aerin held back a smile and reached over to turn off the lamp, making the only light in the room the moonlight coming in through the window on the wall above the bed. “We've both done stupid things in front of each other enough times that it doesn't matter anymore.”

“It's probably best that we don't keep count.”

Finch closed his eyes as peaceful silence fell over the room. He was lying with his cheek resting on Aerin's shoulder, his forehead pressed lightly against the side of his neck. His hand laid flat on Aerin's chest, and if he focused on it, he could feel the indent about the size of his palm where Aerin's scar was.

He'd only ever seen the Nerada Stone once, but he remembered it vividly. He could still recall the precise details of how it had looked, and the terror it had brought on when he'd seen it. He still didn't know what had caused Aerin to decide to take it out, in the end. Finch couldn't imagine what someone would have to feel to put themselves through that kind of pain. At times he wasn't sure he wanted to know.

“Finch,” he heard Aerin whisper, bringing him out of his thoughts.

“Hm?” he hummed in response. He felt Aerin's hand cover his own.

“You were doing that thing again.”

It wasn't the first time he'd done it. Every so often, when he got really wrapped up in thinking about the stone, he would start gently tracing the outline of the scar with his fingertips. He never knew he was doing it until Aerin inevitably pointed it out to him.

“Sorry. I didn't notice.”

“It's okay. I don't mind it. I just want to remind you that you don't have to worry about what I can tell you're worrying about right now.”

“I know, I know, it's just…” Finch shifted in place, propping himself up slightly with his elbow on the mattress so he could see Aerin's face. He had a habit of wanting to be able to look at Aerin when he started talking about something he was deeply invested in. He did it with everyone, but especially Aerin. “I wish there was something I could've done. I'm sure we could've found some other way, if I had known that was what you were trying to do.”

“You not being there didn't have anything to do with what I did. I didn't even know you were gone. Your friends stopped visiting eventually, and no one else seemed to think I should know. So my point is, even if you had still been around, I probably would've done the same thing.” Aerin lifted his hand to run it slowly through Finch's hair a couple times, and Finch leaned into the touch.

“I guess I just want to know why. That's the one part of it I've never been able to figure out,” Finch admitted. “And you don't have to tell me, if you don't want to, but…”

“Do you think it would help?” Aerin's brow furrowed. “Because I don't want to do anything that would hurt you. And don't say it would help just because you want to know.”

Finch considered it for a moment. “I think that… I'd probably think about it a lot at first. But knowing would definitely make it easier to come to terms with.”

Aerin took a deep breath, and sighed it out. “Okay. The truth is…” He looked away, into the wider room, almost as if he was embarrassed. “I decided to take the stone out after you came to see me. All it took was that one time, and I... I knew it wasn't worth it anymore.”

Finch's eyes grew distant as the memories of that night came back to him. He'd forgotten. So much had happened since then that he'd completely forgotten it. That was a terrible thing to have forgotten, what kind of an idiot forgot about something like that? He remembered it now, of course, but he had no idea how it had ever slipped his mind in the first place.

“Hey.” Aerin tapped gently on Finch's cheek with his knuckle, the way someone might knock on a door if they suspected someone was asleep on the other side. “You're beating yourself up over something right now. Tell me what it is, so I can help. I'm not just letting you sit here and stew in whatever you're thinking about.”

It took Finch another few moments to say anything in response, but Aerin allowed him to work through it for as long as he needed to. “I really shouldn't have done that to you,” he muttered. It wasn't exactly what he'd been thinking about, but it was what those thoughts had led him to. “Not the visit, but the fact that I just left. I got scared and I ran, I didn't even try to talk to you about it. I was a real jerk for that, wasn't I.”

“I… can admit that it's not my favorite thing you've ever done. But I've forgiven you by now, which means you should forgive yourself too, because honestly it was probably the best thing you could've done.” Aerin placed both of his hands on Finch's cheeks. “If you hadn't come to see me, and you hadn't done what you did, we probably wouldn't be here right now.”

“I still think I could've handled things better. I didn't think it through. Any of it. Even just a little more planning would've stopped it from going so poorly.”

“Finch, it didn't go poorly,” Aerin insisted. “Maybe in the moment it did, sure. But seeing you that night, talking to you, the way you kissed me, it all reminded me how much I needed you. Then you left, and I realized that before I could get that life back, I needed to become a better person again. I couldn't go on the way I was if I ever wanted to have something good again. That was why I took out the stone.”

“But it must've hurt you,” Finch shook his head, still catching up with everything Aerin was telling him. “To take it out, I mean.”

“Of course it did. It hurt me to have it, too,” Aerin reminded him. Finch did remember that, from when he'd first seen the stone. “But I was betting on the hope that those last few minutes of pain would pay off with more happiness than I knew what to do with. It was either that, or keep hurting other people for the rest of my life. I didn't know what would happen, but I knew I had to try.”

“And… did it work?” Finch asked, speaking hesitantly.

“Yes,” Aerin nodded, possibly sounding more certain than Finch had ever heard him before. He lifted his head a bit and gently brought Finch down to meet him, pressing a soft kiss to his lips. “I'd say that it did.”

A small smile crossed Finch's face, which almost always happened when Aerin kissed him. “Good.” He settled back into his place on the bed, lying down the way he'd been before. He felt Aerin's arms wrap around him, warm and familiar against his skin.

He was finally satisfied with the knowledge he had. He hadn't wanted to push too hard on the matter of Aerin’s scar and how he'd gotten it, because he knew that at times the idea of it upset both of them. It was a big sore spot that neither of them wanted to get close to. But he'd always known they'd have to talk about it at some point, and if it was going to happen somehow, he believed this was one of the best ways it could've been. The room felt much more peaceful then. His thoughts weren't quite so loud anymore. Well, aside from one of them.

“I love you,” he whispered.

“I love you too,” Aerin replied, as Finch knew he would.

Finch was well aware that there would be more problems for him to fix eventually, whether it was a simple favor for a friendly stranger or a new foe for him to save the world from. It seemed unavoidable at that point. But right now, he was safe at home, in bed next to the best, smartest, most breathtaking person he'd ever known. There wasn't anywhere else he'd rather be. Things were difficult at times, and would be again. But for the moment, all was well in the world.

[tartrazeen]

Why am I making myself sad 😭

I've had this really nice (sad 😭) head canon about Angus and Rohan growing up. I could write it as fanfic...

... or I could just barf it into a post like I'm doing now.

So this is about the two of them when they were very young.

Basic backstory: in my head, when they say they've known each other for "practically all their lives" and "as long as either of them could remember," they mean it: I have Angus as being a year older, and the two of them meeting when Rohan was six and Angus was seven. Both orphans. Both without a home. Rohan woke up from where he'd fallen in a forest one day, and Angus was the kid standing over him, the first thing Rohan saw, who was waiting to see if he was dead or not lol

Angus took enough of a liking to Rohan when they were in that forest that when Angus went to leave, and Rohan sort of baby-duck'd onto him and followed along, Angus mostly just shrugged. There was a village nearby, after all, and that's where Angus had been headed anyway, having just been passing through that forest when he saw a maybe-corpse. When Angus goes to leave that village a few days later, Rohan continues baby-ducking and following his new best friend. Angus, being seven and not thinking any further than his next meal, shrugs and accepts that he's got a buddy now. He has no idea that he's just signed up for a life-long commitment.

Skip ahead to their present day, or maybe a few months after the finale. Maeve's exiled, Nemain hasn't started her shenanigans yet, so there's a decent sense of peace over Kells.

Rohan is telling the others about how he and Angus grew up. In this particular version of my daydream (I like changing it), it's because Rohan's still trying to bond with Lugad but doesn't know how to be an older brother to him. Ivar explains that an older brother's supposed to protect his younger siblings, guide them through life, keep them happy, and help shape them into who they are as adults. And Rohan's miffed, because Lugad's already grown, so it seems like the ship's sailed on that.

Deirdre tries to think of ideas for Rohan to try, and eventually asks how it was for him and Angus. Rohan does his little scoff-laugh, saying he doesn't see what that matters. When the others push, he says Angus is his best friend...

... but to be honest, he wouldn't say Angus was 'protecting' him. Rohan was usually the one getting Angus out of trouble, and Lugad isn't antagonizing every guard in every village. In fact, Lugad grew up in one place. It might have been on a horrible island, but at least Lugad didn't make Rohan move a hundred times because of some tiny thing he didn't like about where they were one morning.

This gets into him explaining that when they were boys - Rohan being seven, Angus being eight - they'd had some rough times trying to survive by themselves. They did take care of each other, but Angus would... well, he'd be a little selfish from time to time. Rohan doesn't blame him because they were both so young, but he says that's the difference between being brothers and being best friends. Rohan loves him and obviously Angus is his family now, but back then, they were just two kids that happened to meet one day.

He gives examples when the others ask. For instance: food. There wasn't much of it. Sometimes, they'd be close to starving. And sometimes, Angus would let the hunger get the best of him, and he'd eat his whole share - more than that - before Rohan even got back to split it. And then Rohan would be stuck eating whatever happened to be left.

It was almost funny, because Rohan could even see how bad it was. Sometimes, Angus would get caught by the guards for stealing and be gone for a few days. Magically, there'd be enough food the whole time that Angus was gone. No hard feelings, Rohan stresses, but it was entertaining to look back on it. Angus had never lost that appetite either; even now, he'd eat everything around him.

The most frustrating part was how Angus always had to complain about where they were living. It'd be over something small, and so small that Rohan can't remember now that nearly fifteen years have passed, but Angus would think it was more than enough reason to pack up that very night and head onto the next village. Eventually, they got to the village closest to the castle, and they had to stay there because where else were they going to go? Rohan had genuinely been afraid when he first became Cathbad's druid, thinking that in the meantime, Angus was going to head off again - without Rohan.

He hadn't. :) All was well.

Anyway, that was why taking lessons from Angus wasn't the best approach.

There's dinner in the throne room later on, and Angus is here now. There's a light conversation and Rohan idly laughs about having to move from village to village so often. Angus rolls his eyes and laughs like he agrees the whole thing was a chore, and Rohan says that at least a lot of good came out of it: if Angus hadn't been so picky, they would've never been where they needed to be for Rohan to become Draganta.

To be honest, there were fun moments while they were moving, too. Angus would whine endlessly about how much he hated the forest, which would shut him up when they finally got to their next village. But despite that, Angus would tell Rohan story after story. They'd be made up, but Rohan still remembers some of them. They were vivid - Angus has always had a way of spinning a tale, and those would lull him to sleep under those trees. It was peaceful. Rohan kind of misses it. Too bad Angus hates sleeping on the ground.

Deirdre asks what sort of stories these were. Rohan says they'd be ones about a clumsy bunny who kept dropping its magic rings, or even one about the princess herself, trying to pluck a silver plate from a waterfall of plates, and only having one chance. Or there'd be a field of grass made out of gold, and a knight having to stomp through with his armour, trying to stop the sheep from eating all the golden grass. Cute things like that.

Angus is a little impressed that Rohan remembers those. Rohan shrugs, saying he's always enjoyed Angus' stories. But now that they're talking about it, and knowing that Rohan did appreciate getting to be in the forest enough to hear them all, what did Angus hate about all those villages?

There's a thoughtful silence and smirk from Angus like he thinks Rohan's making a joke, but Rohan insists he's serious. Angus decides to only half-joke back, glibly replying that it mostly had to do with all of them getting burned down.

Rohan's confused. The others are more surprised, and are able to ask Angus what he means. Angus says that each of those villages were attacked by Temrans. There was a war, after all.

Rohan's very confused.

Not about the war - yes, obviously, there was a war - but about being attacked. They never got attacked by Temrans.

Angus says yes, that's true. Because Angus got them out of the village when he'd heard enough rumours to predict an attack was coming. So then he'd get them both out of there.

The others start asking Angus what it was like, growing up like that. Rohan is quiet as Angus brushes it off and says it was fine, that's how it used to be by the border, and the trick was to keep moving deeper into Kells - towards the castle. In fact, that's how Angus met Rohan: he'd been leaving one village that'd just been attacked, and found this lump of a boy lying in the middle of a forest between the next one. And so a friendship was born.

Rohan says they were never attacked.

Angus agrees again, saying they always stayed a night ahead of it.

Rohan asks how Angus could know.

Angus says they could hear it from the forest.

Rohan says he never heard a thing.

Angus squints at him.

The stories, Angus explains, still kind of smirking because he thinks it's funny that he has to spell this out, were him trying to cover it up. He makes Rohan go through the ones he remembers. What did they have in common? Metal. Crashing on metal. Angus barely remembers any of them, but he's sure there would've been a few to cover any screams.

...

Rohan thinks.

In the awkward silence that Angus is trying to break for the others, Rohan brings up that one story about the wolves that were terrible at howling.

Angus grins. Exactly his point. One of them had to get some sleep, so it might as well have been Rohan.

The others start to chat excitedly about this, Ivar even alluding to Rohan being wrong about Angus looking after him, until Rohan interrupts again. He's beginning to frown.

Rohan asks what Angus means by 'getting some sleep'. He remembers Angus sleeping all the time back then. It was partly why it took so long to leave the forest.

Angus says he'd tell Rohan stories to get the boy to sleep, but Angus himself would be awake to keep an eye out for Temrans. They liked to attack at night back then, so night-time was all he'd been worried about. He'd take naps throughout the day to get some rest in. Which was fine. It helped with the hunger anyway.

Rohan calls Angus out on that, saying Rohan never took naps and he'd have even less to eat than Angus would. That earns him a look from Angus, so he explains how there'd be times where someone wouldn't stick to eating their fair share.

Angus is mildly outraged by the accusation, asking when that had ever happened. Back then, he clarifies. He sneaks a bit now 'cause Rohan always puts the good stuff in his half.

Rohan says that when they were boys, Angus would wait until Rohan was out and then help himself to the food. There'd barely be enough for one of them, and Angus decided to take the first bites anyway.

Angus squints at him.

Rohan frowns back.

Angus asks, starting to smile, like Rohan is playing a trick on him, if Rohan had ever seen Angus this so-called 'share'.

Rohan says no, and that was the point. Angus waited until Rohan had left.

Angus says yes, that was the point. He'd wait for Rohan to go, then wait for him to come back so Angus could lie. There was barely enough for one of them, after all, and Rohan would always make them split it evenly. Angus starts joking about it with the others, bragging about how he'd let Rohan split the food, then just hide his own share and give it back to Rohan at night. There they were, starving orphans, and Angus still had that boy eating twice a day. Better to spread it out like that, obviously.

Rohan doesn't believe this. He can't quite argue it, but he wants to. Eventually he says that if that's true, why would there be food to spare whenever Angus got taken away by the guards?

Angus laughs outright at that, but not at the part about food. The part about the guards. They were living in villages - what guards? Rohan's been living in a castle for too long.

Before Rohan can ask about that, Angus answers his first question with a question: what exactly did he get taken away for? Stealing, was it? And what did he steal? Oh, there was food to spare? Funny, that.

Garrett asks who took Angus to jail, then. Angus says there was no jail. Whatever villager he'd taken food from would find out, beat him half to death, and then he'd need a few days to come limping back to Rohan. He means it light-heartedly, but it's a little more bitter than the rest of what he's said, and the meaning of his words bring an unmistakable sense of pity to the table.

Except for Rohan, who is deeply confused and a tad angry.

Rohan asks if Angus is saying that he wouldn't eat, just give Rohan his food, then sleep through the hunger as they ran from village to village, always only barely ahead of the Temrans.

Angus says yup.

Angus says he's also surprised that Rohan's only figuring this out now. He thought Rohan had known from the beginning. Why else was he following Angus around?

Rohan says it's because they were friends.

Angus shrugs and says that's fair enough.

Rohan can't stomach what he's been hearing. This is news that's come crashing onto him, and Angus is happily chatting with the others and assuring them it was for the best - well, it was horrible, but at least it got them Draganta. Small price to pay for a kingdom, isn't it? And Angus gives a innocent bat of his eyes to the king and says, "You're welcome."

Which is when Rohan leaves the table. Not consciously, of course, but steadily. His ears are ringing at this point. He's not sure if he's cold or sweaty and he doesn't understand why he'd be either.

Rohan doesn't answer when he feels someone calling him. Ivar, he imagines. Although these feel like Garrett's hands leading him to sit. After... months, it seems, his vision - which had blurred some time ago - starts to clear again.

He sees Angus knelt over him. One hand gripping Rohan's shoulder. Angus looks worried and even scared, so different from the boy who'd only grinned in amazement that Rohan wasn't dead in a forest.

Angus had been talking. Rohan hadn't heard. Eventually, the sounds around him returned, and Angus was asking what was wrong. The others were there as well, in varying states of crowding around or stepping back to let Angus handle this.

In my last version of this daydream, Rohan and Angus talk this out right now. In this version, Rohan's more emotionally stunted than that. He apologizes for a making scene, says he isn't feeling well, and then excuses himself back to the hut.

Angus arrives later in the night. By how sheepishly he enters, it's clear to Rohan that Angus thinks he's the one who screwed up. He says as much, apologizing for lying, swearing he thought Rohan knew or puzzled it out by now.

And Rohan breaks.

I mean, truly breaks.

His entire plan was to be stoic about this. He was going to solemnly thank Angus for taking care of them as boys... and still even now, with how much work Angus did to keep him fed and with mended clothes...

But he breaks.

Because Angus was his best friend and was eight and never once complained about the truth of what there was to complain about. And Rohan had complained about that, calling Angus selfish. In hindsight, it was all so perfectly clear that Rohan felt like an ass for not figuring it out. Angus was right to assume he would. So now Rohan was left with an overwhelming guilt of having put that all onto a child, who'd been barely older than him and who'd needed someone's care, but was stuck with Rohan instead.

He cries so hard, he doesn't even realize he's crying into Angus' shoulder or that he's clutching onto his friend as tightly as he is. And Angus allows it to happen, in a flood of patience that never appears unless it's as dire as this. Rohan can feel himself being carefully handled until he's sat on the edge of his cot. It's there that Angus asks if Rohan wants to hear one more story. Rohan agrees by not disagreeing, and Angus sits Rohan back until he's propped up against the thief.

It's exactly like they used to be in those nights: Rohan lying against Angus, curled up under him, and Angus gently holding him there. It isn't perfect, since Rohan's bigger than Angus now, but it feels like a home that Rohan didn't earn.

Angus, in his half-dream of a voice that would never fail to have Rohan at ease, tells a story about a little boy named Schmangus.

Apparently, Schmangus had a hard life growing up. It'd been filled with war and hunger and cold and all the awful things those would do. He doesn't mince words, because he says Schmangus was terrified. Every corner had something new to fear, and he knew he had no choice but to face them anyway if he wanted to live.

One day, Schmangus found a corpse in a forest - only it wasn't a corpse, and it had a name: Schmohan. Schmangus and Schmohan - Rohan would've hit him if this dumb name wasn't so badly what he needed right now - became best friends and went everywhere together. Schmangus never asked him to, but Schmohan always followed along.

The trouble was that Schmohan had all the brains of a child who would drop dead in a forest, and was always trying to share food that wasn't enough to share, and fight wars with a dinky sword that hadn't helped against whatever had knocked Schmohan out in the first place. That meant it was up to Schmangus to keep them alive, and that meant Schmangus had to lie about it.

It wasn't so bad the first time. Or the second. By the third, it had become a pattern. And it got harder and harder to do. Schmangus felt like everywhere he went and everything he touched was cursed, and Schmohan hadn't asked for any of it. Schmangus wanted to keep that curse away from Schmohan for as long as he could; just like food, there was only so much peace to go around, and with how terrified Schmangus was, it only made sense to give that peace to Schmohan.

Stories turned the sounds of war and fire into a melody. Pockets turned a meager scrap into a meal for later. Sleep and water from the river, plus whatever he ate right from a villager's home, got Schmangus through most of it. The villagers didn't catch him often - sometimes Schmangus would just be hiding - but when they did, it was still worth the risk.

He only needed the peace to last until they were somewhere safe. He didn't know where 'safe' was, but now he was making an effort to look for it. Before, Schmangus would simply wander around. Now, he had Schmohan to care for.

Rohan says that Angus was only eight.

Angus says yes, he was, but this wasn't about him, it was about Schmangus, and also, shut it, he isn't done yet.

Schmangus felt a new kind of fear: one of failure. He knew he was only eight, and he knew he didn't know what he was doing. But if he could keep Schmohan from hating him for - shut it, Rohan - for dragging him all over the place like this, he'd be satisfied.

And he was. When they eventually made it to the castle, Schmohan had simply teased him about living in there. It was the best thing Schmangus had heard. It was like everything he'd gone through was worth it. Maybe he'd gone through it alone, but Rohan would always try to split everything - he meant Schmohan, shut up Rohan - and now one of them had enough of a peaceful life to share.

The story used to end there, Angus says, but there's a new ending to it now. Rohan is utterly relaxed into Angus, and at any other time, would have been dozing off already. He asks Angus for the new ending, and Angus provides.

Schmohan, as he'd said, was the sort of boy who'd fight a tree and have it topple over and crush him, so of course he grew up and never figured out any of this until Schmangus told it to him outright. But Schmohan wasn't a fool. Schmohan had become the best warrior of a kingdom named Schmells - Rohan did shove him a little for that - and had figured out many things, even if he still held a spoon like an angry rat - a lot of a shove from Rohan - so it had to mean that Schmangus was very good at lying.

Even on the nights where there were no sounds of war, Schmangus would lie awake worrying that Schmohan had enough. If there'd been any way for him to know that fifteen years later, Schmohan would still be looking back on those days as peaceful journeys with his friend, never aware of attacks, thinking food would appear by itself...

... that boy would've slept with a smile on his face, knowing he'd saved his friend from so much, so completely, his friend would long for those nights. He'd remember the stories as stories alone, and remember what they'd been about. He'd be happy. Still, obviously, very hungry and cold and awake, but happy for what it did.

Rohan asks if it's because Schmells got Schagmanta.

Angus says that's a dumb name, and everyone knows the champion of Schmells is called Footsy O'Bigtooth, and no, that's not why. It was worth it for Rohan alone. And he knows that isn't much, what with how upset Rohan is, but Angus was eight and trying his best. He would've done everything differently if he'd had a way to see their fate, but he didn't. So he doesn't regret doing what he could.

Especially not when it brought them here.

It sits in Rohan's mind for hours. Angus doesn't budge him, save to settle them better on the cot. Eventually, Rohan hears the steady, telltale breath of sleep brushing the top of his head.

He very slowly and carefully chances moving to look up. There, as it'd been in the story, was the softest smile on Angus' face.

Rohan curled himself back under his brother's chin, and went to sleep as well.

[engagemachine]

Apocalypse AU, when it all begins, it's during that time when Taylor is staying with Evelyn and Nathan, and even though the Joker had only seen her that once at the orphanage, when shit goes down he makes sure to bring her right along with him, no longer having time to play the long game of strengthening her love and emotions for him anymore and finally just having to use force. Imagine poor Taylor barely knowing this man, all she knows is he was 'kind' to her and took care of her as a child, who also forced her to do unspeakable things, and now he's this stranger who she remembers but doesn't necessarily know, and now she's being forced into his world when all normalcy around her falls apart. What a mindfuck! She'd be relieved he thought of her at all but that would be terrifying, on top of already being scared as hell of what is happening all around her.

literally SCREAMING

This is actually an absolutely INSANE scenario. Like, it totally changes the game in terms of what I had previously imagined (based on yours or another anon's apocalypse AU ideas) and now I'm foaming at the mouth over the idea that this entire thing goes down at a time where the two of them barely even know each other when he eventually does take her.

Like, not only is this already such a high-stress situation for Taylor because the world as she knows it is literally falling apart, but also, right in the midst of it, she's being (kidnapped? coerced?) by a mass-murdering psychopath who she barely knows and only vaguely remembers from her childhood... jeez. That's heavy.

The truly frightening thing about this scenario is that Taylor would have no choice but to stay with him, as the system that 'protected' her and the provisions in place for orphans like her have completely collapsed, along with the rest of society's safety nets. She has no one else to turn to, no one to protect her, and he would absolutely take full advantage of that situation.

I had this image in mind of what's happening when the Joker does come for her, only, she's not living with Evelyn and Nathan.

It's the beginning of the end: there's some weird super villain concoction that's spread (and it's fucking Gotham, so it's not unlikely) and it's making everyone sick. It's starts off in the Narrows, so everyone is scrambling to leave the little island to reach the Gotham mainland. But people are trying to leave the mainland, too, and all the bridges have been shut down by the National Guard in an effort to quarantine the island, to stave off the potential of what could become another devastating pandemic. It's been rumored that Bruce Wayne hopped on his yacht the moment the news of the virus broke, and is already halfway to St. Lucia, joined only by the city-wide chorus of eat the rich! and cries for the guillotine.

Taylor -- along with all the other kids who were unfortunate enough to be in the orphange at the time of the collapse, instead of in a foster home -- are being herded into big yellow school buses. No one knows where they're being taken, but all the superintendents assure everyone they're going somewhere where they'll be safe.

Safe, Taylor thinks.

It's not a feeling she's familiar with. Doesn't know if it's something she's ever experienced before, except for once, a very long time ago.

The city is in disarray. The sirens are almost constant -- even during the night, making it difficult to sleep -- and the power's been out city-wide for four days. They've been huddled around an old, muffled radio for the past day and a half, waiting for updates, for instruction.

No one at the orphanage has gotten sick yet, but they all talk about what they'd do if one of them did. They talk about what kind of symptoms they'd have, describe them in gruesome, gory detail. Fantasies of fleshy, zombie-like appendages, skulls full of pus and rotting gray matter. It makes Taylor's stomach roil, to hear them talk like that, like it's just some fantasy. Like it isn't real.

She is exhausted, more than anything else, nerves stretched impossibly thin. Every day she waits, but she doesn't know what for. That's all any of them can do. Wait.

The heat has become oppressive, and ever since the power grid failed, it's only gotten worse. The heat carries a stench with it, something resembling a combination of wet garbage and gasoline. Most of them have taken to wearing rags over their noses and mouths, or bandana, whenever they're outside. It helps a little, but not much.

Taylor is wearing a grey cloth over her nose and mouth, tied behind her head, as she stands in line to be loaded into the next bus. She can tell from her place in line that there might not be room on board, and she might be forced to catch the next one, whenever it comes. Anxiety swells in her belly and throat at the thought, and she tries, in vain, to push it down.

Sweat beads along the back of her neck, sliding between her shoulder blades. Her bra strap is damp, and so are the baby hairs curled at her forehead. It feels like they've been standing outside, waiting, for hours. She shifts her weight to her other foot, while her anxiety continues to bloom, pushing against the walls of her throat, making it harder to breathe.

Up ahead, she watches as another full school bus pulls away, crammed so tight that kids are left standing in the aisles, holding onto the seats.

She cranes her neck to look around the corner, onto the street, to see if there's another bus.

One of the superintendents start arguing with another, and from the looks of their gesturing hands, it appears heated. They're too far away for her to hear, but she watches them talk for quite some time, trying to make out what they're saying before one of them finally releases a defeated sigh, turning to the crowd of kids who have been patiently standing single-file.

"Alright, everybody, listen up! There's been a change of plans. We're all gonna head back inside for the moment to wait for the next bus. We... we're not sure when it's coming... but we're just gonna have to sit tight until it arrives."

Most of the kids audibly groan. Some of them start shouting.

"Man, this is some bullshit! You said we were getting on the bus!"

Another kid chimes in. "Yeah, you said we'd be getting out of here today! I don't wanna be here when the zombies come!"

The superintendent heaves another sigh. "They are no zombies," he says, even though he looks entirely unconvinced when he says it. The unease on his face is plainly evident. "We're just gonna have to sit tight."

Taylor listens to everyone grumble and complain. They've been trying to get out of here for three days, but they've had to shepherd all the younger kids off first.

"Come on everybody, back inside!" The superintendent starts herding everyone back towards the main doors, and Taylor has no choice but to follow. At least the stench won't be as bad inside, even if it'll be hotter because there's no air conditioning, and most rooms feel like being trapped inside an oven. She'll just have to find an open window she can sit next to while she waits.

That was her plan, at least until a hand snakes out from behind her, covering her mouth to stifle her gasp of surprise as she's dragged backwards, away from the rest of the group. No one even notices.

She kicks and flails and tries to scream. She's dragged around to the side of the building, into an alley with a dead end. There's an SUV parked there with tinted windows, and she blanches when she sees it. Is she being kidnapped? Is she going to be--

Her rag is yanked down around her neck. She's spun around.

She comes face to face with a man she's never seen before. Tall, with dark hair and a strong jaw. His mouth is shaped into a hard set line.

She opens her mouth to speak, cry, or beg for mercy, she's not even sure which -- but then the back door of the SUV swings open, and Taylor watches as a familiar figure slips out, and it's like time stops, right then, because she hasn't seen him since he first came to her at the orphanage -- this very one -- all those months ago.

She thought he had forgotten about her. She thought he had decided he wasn't interested. That he didn't care about her anymore.

"Mr. J," she breathes.

He approaches, and she holds her breath. When he grabs her by her jaw, jerks her face towards his, he gives her a slow, languid once-over, eyeing her from top to bottom.

When he meets her eyes, his mouth stretches into a grin.

"Hello there."

[nightmyst14-blog]

Wanna share some Astronova HC's because they're all I have thought about for the last 2 months 🥰

-Because it looks like almost all of Xylitol's body is mechanical, instead of a heartbeat, he's got a hum in his chest very similar to how you hear your PC whirr when in use. Astronaut falls asleep to this ALL the time. The best way to de-stress at the end of a hard day is when he holds her and she feels like for once Ms. "Icebot" doesn't need all the answers

-Their bond grew even stronger after the loss of planet xylitol. The journey to the next planet was a long one, and there was MUCH to micromanage and lead with all these refugeed cookies and robots. He starts entrusting her with a lot of tasks b/c she's already proven more than capable when it came to saving the lives of his beloved citizens. They'd spend many hours awake, fighting off sleep in his room to discuss future plans, routes, strategies, etc. A complete comfort in each others presence without even realizing it 🥰

-When Astronaut eventually realized the feelings she caught weren't totally platonic, she didn't act out on them for a while, worrying about a multitude of factors (would it be reciprocated? would it affect their teamwork? what would all the others think of an alien falling for their leader? maybe she'd never be accepted as one of them.) Meanwhile Xylitol was the dead last person to realize what he felt. Every cookie, robot, and space doughnut on the ship knew what they were seeing but he was utterly clueless for the longest time. Cue to Xyl-Q, Space Doughnut, and Xylitol Researcher all exchanging looks™️ between each other every time he talked about Astronaut a little too fondly 😏🤭

SORRY IT TOOK ME A WHILE TO ANSWER THIS, I HAD TO GATHER MY HCS FOR THIS ADORABLE SHIP.

I love them, they remind of Eve and Wall-E

Both are in love with each other, but SO AWKWARD around each other.

-Astronaut's actual name is Neopolitan (I 'm part of the idea that cookies with job names actaully have flavor names), but she liked to be called "Neo" by her friends, so she allowed him to say it too, even thought Xylitol Nova is very formal around her. but whenever he does says it, it makes her extremely flustered. She didnt know why, but she always blushes whenever he calls her "Neo."

-Astronaut tends to call Xylitol Nova "Nova" or "Xy", which makes him flustered whenever she says it. He doesnt have the cybernetic guts to tell her to stop.

Due to being born from a star, Xylitol Nova's body is constantly warm, while Astronaut being made form ice cream, is always cold. So whenever they do date, constant cuddle from both sides <3. I also headcanon Xylitol Nova's body (along with his citizens) is a mix between a cyborg and a android, his own dough a prefect of dough and extremely tough metals like tungsten and Titanium, his body tends to overheats when he gets stressed or anxious, so Astronaut hugs him to help calm down and cool off his circuits.

HEIGHT DIFFERENCE. Astronaut is only up to the middle of his chest, while Xylitol Nova is in 6 ft and up mark. He easily scoops her up whenever she needs to reach something.

Due to her engineering background, I picture she studied the body of the Xylitolian in case anyone needed a tune up. Xylitol Nova is fascinated by her skill to learn this so quickly.

I imagine all of the citizens are watching them like a telenovela, all betting from time to time on how their relationship would go.

"I saw our leader creating hard light flowers. I better he's making them or Astronaut."

"No way!! He's been working in the engine room with Xylitol Researcher Cookie for the past few days! He couldnt have had time for that!"

"10 quid says he did."

"Fine!"

----Later----

The two see Xylitol Nova gift the flowers to Astronaut while on break, saying "I heard you missed looking a the flowers of your home, so I could replicate a few for you...

I have more, but I wanna hear more of yours. SEND MORE, I BEG YOU.

[palialaina]

Boy.

It has been...

I may have lost my temper with Kenli, finally. He's not a bad person, he's just a damn doormat, and I can't fix his problems for him. I get Eshe's frustration absolutely, though I still think she goes a bit overboard in how rigid she is...

So, the deed I dug up for the Daiya farm a few weeks ago was apparently scrutinized heavily by Kenyara and she decided it wasn't good enough. Kenli asked me to get together a tax for the farm so that they wouldn't have to worry, and you know, I have the veggies to spare, so I did it. (I need to buy more wheat. I forgot to do that and ran out of seeds...)

And then he told me that it didn't matter because she'd decided that she was going to kick them out anyways and move in some new people. And he didn't know what to do, but could I maybe go tell them about it?

I.

Blew.

UP.

I'm a water person too, according to basically everyone I talk to, but the thing about water is that it is just as dangerous as any other element. Earth crushes, fire burns, air suffocates, water drowns.

I told him to stop being a little tiny creek, and be a damn tidal wave of no already.

...I think I scared him a bit, honestly. But for fuck's sake... at least he managed to scrape together the backbone to tell his sister no.

The irony-cherry on top being that the people Kenyara had selected to replace the best farming family in Kilima were scammers. They'd planned on taking Kenyara's advance money (what the fuck, lady??) and bolting.

So, yanno, my rare show of temper actually worked out pretty damn well for all involved.

....Jel gave me tea and macarons and made me go upstairs to rest for a bit when I stomped into the store. He's a darling and I adore him.

Also, apparently Lark also found one of Reth's fail-eggs. That was fun to walk in on. He was so purple~ Poor Reth. Maybe next time he'll actually keep track of where he buries those yikes things.

My next source of stress? I was tag-teamed by Hassian and Sifuu.

So, Sifuu's book is... sort of out. Caleri stuck it in the fiction section because of the intense amount of liberties Sifuu took when writing her own memoirs.

Seriously, when you piss off your own son with your embellishments, that's definitely a sign you went too far.

Sifuu's version was.. dramatic. Love at first sight. According to Hassian, that's all a lie, and Sifuu was childhood friends with Taylin before they got married.

So, already I was feeling kind of cranky on Hassian's behalf, because why lie about that, Sifuu? And then he goes on to tell me that there was kind of a mess about them being thrown out of their original village because...

Okay.

So, Sifuu and Taylin worked as bounty hunters. And Taylin was supposed to kill a creature, but that creature came back and decimated a village. So her village thought she lied to get paid. Taylin swore that the thing must have regenerated, and honestly, I think I'm on Taylin's side. We have magical trees that heal their own axe cuts ffs, regenerating beasties is not exactly out there in terms of things this place could produce.

Well, they got thrown out of their village, and word was spread that Taylin was a liar, so no one else would take them in. Taylin went to try and clear her name, but never came back.

And yeah, I'm definitely on Hassian's side for this one. He was so upset. He doesn't usually let me touch him, let alone hug him, but I was able to give cuddles until he was calm again.

Then he got embarrassed, but yanno, it was cute.

After that, I went to tell Sifuu she was an idiot (because she was), and Sifuu id very clearly where Hassian gets his inability to communicate, if nothing else. She asked me to help fix things, and in this case it literally meant fixing a thing from his childhood, and old bow Taylin had made him. Wasn't hard, I have a stockpile of stuff at this point, so, ran home, ran back, gave her the stuff.

I really wish it ended there.

She did give me this tho. I had Einar over to help me put it up high because I don't know what else to do with it, but it's too nice to just... shove into storage.

Also, I know I will cut myself on that thing if I do that, and Hassian would throw a fit.

Hassian did come around and gave me a lovely heartdrop lily. I'm going to keep it special for when I make him a pin. I just need to figure out what I can use to represent him... And maybe also see if he actually likes me that way, or if I'm reading too much into it.

(I did talk to Jel about it. Again. He repeated that as long as Hassian made me happy, he was more than able to share. He got kisses for that.)

So, okay, it does not end there, and I don't know if I wish it did, or if I'm glad it kept going, but like...

Sifuu asked me to come see her, because she really really suck at talking to Hassian in a way that gets him to... you know. Share. And I'm better at it, so she asked me to figure out why he was still upset.

Turns out, they'd started going through Taylin's things, and he found an old book of star charts. Apparently he's an avid star gazer! I wish I'd know that before, that's half the reason I love being out at night. The stars here are amazing...

So, anyways, I got together the stuff for making him a small telescope, and he seemed to cheer up. Said he was going to put it in his grove, so maybe I'll drop by in a couple nights and see if he'll let me look through it.

For now though, I'm going to take Jel's advice, have a hot bath and then we're going to play a few games of chezzu in the slumber party room so I can finally unwind.

[norcalbruja]

Not-Fun with Hypnos

What's up, today/yesterday (August 5, but I posted this at almost 2AM) was incredibly stressful! First of all, I woke up to a power outage at 10am, and I had to hunt around for the new landlord's business card for several hours while I worried about the food in the fridge getting too warm. (Don't worry, I found the business card and the power's back on! No spoilage!)

While I was dealing with that, I waited about an hour past a scheduled job interview, only to get the response that they'd already filled BOTH positions I applied for.

That would have been nice to know an hour or so BEFORE my interview, not afterward. Fucking hell.

Dionysus recently went Therapist-Like on me a couple of weeks ago, and he said that since I'd been asking the spirits to try and help my insomniac ass get to sleep with mixed success, he figured it was time to ask Hypnos for help. I'm constantly trekking to an Otherworld cave to try and "soundproof" my way into sleep, so Dionysus was like, "if you're gonna sleep in a cave all the time, you might as well go to the cave owned by someone whose JOB is to put you out."

Behind the cut for Freaky Shit!

--

Hypnos is a young-looking brunette with a very soft and high-pitched voice. He's also very laid-back and sweet. So laid-back that he often sounds like a stoner, but that is beside the point.

He lives in a cave with a giant mass of flowers and greenery covering the ground. I was surprised to find this is literally his home in mythology, when I checked Wikipedia to make sure my gnosis matched up with known records.

Dionysus was like "Babe, I tell you all the time that you're not crazy, why did you check Wikipedia right now? DON'T ANSWER, I KNOW YOU HAVE A HISTORY OF PEOPLE CALLING YOU CRAZY."

And I was like, "But I also thought I was mistaking Hypnos' name for a Pokemon, so it wasn't ALL for that reason!" (Note: Hypno is the Pokemon, Hypnos is the Greek god.)

So the not-fun part about Hypnos' cave is that the plants, at least for me, TRY TO CLIMB ALL OVER AND CARPET YOU IN THEM.

Naturally, I freaked out when they started doing that and I went, "NONONO I AM NOT DOING 'THE LAST OF US' REENACTMENTS!!! I DON'T WANT TO BE A MUSHROOM ZOMBIE!!!"

Hypnos kept assuring me, "Honey, they're not trying to hurt you! Just listen to the plants, they're really happy and they know you want to sleep! Relax!!!"

Then the Green Man showed up for like, emotional support. He was also assuring me that the plants are nice, and they are not going to eat me, and the whole point of getting to Hypnos' cave is to let yourself go and sleep.

But as my dear readers probably know by now, I am anxious as FUCK even when I'm not freaking out. I have a hard time relaxing anywhere.

And Hypnos' plants REALLY like the Green Man, so they were just rooting in and tearing his skin up. And he started vomiting plants while he was trying to help me calm down, so THEN the Water-Spirit tried to help.

But the Water-Spirit's real form is made of water, and the plants don't seem to mind too much that he's seawater. While they started climbing all over HIM, they started "reverting" him from his human form back to his waterspout/man-made-of-water form. And he was like "No, plants, stop! I'm trying to calm her down, and I can't do that while I'm splashing everywhere!"

So with two out of three Emotional Support Men accidentally scaring me more once they got there, my first visit to Hypnos was a disaster.

But there's nothing else I can do right now, so I've been trying to go to Hypnos' cave and like, ACTUALLY go to sleep there at some point.

To his credit, Hypnos has pegged me for "the chick who can't sleep because she's got Too Much Stuff going on in that head." And not just because Dionysus brought me over--he senses how I'm always restless and unhappy all the time.

Rather like Dionysus, he knows that a lot of my unhappiness would be gone if I could just get a fucking break, have an art career, and afford my own place, but for now I have to go to Hypnos' cave and let the Sleepy-Time Plants try to engulf me.

[beginner-b]

My First Layoff

I knew the layoff was coming before the phone call. The fear of it consumed me, consumed everything that weekend in Las Vegas. We were there for a belated 30th birthday celebration.

I had been having fun before that moment, having drinks and going to shows without any care in the world. Until a text from my coworker came Saturday morning that our teams were being affected in this round of layoffs and that the cuts would come Monday. The Monday my boss had sent me a one on one. The one on one schedule for 12 PM, the dreaded layoff "witching hour."

It was me. It had to be.

Everything from that moment on felt like I was walking through a fog. Every conversation, every moment was consumed by this feeling of helplessness. I was a thousand miles away, with no way to connect with anyone, not knowing what I could do - what I should do. It was just a rumor, wasn't it? There were other people on my team more senior, with less critical accounts, whose work was below mine? Surely it would be them, not me.

"Text your boss" Someone suggested to me. "He'll tell you what's going on."

So I did. The response came six hours later, a non-answer that told me everything and nothing.

We were at a show that evening, tickets I was now regretting buying, when I heard someone in the crowd whisper loudly “Isn’t that the doctor from Grey’s Anatomy?”

I was so consumed in my phone looking at jobs that I barely registered the person 5 feet away from me. But there he was, Dr. Owen Hunt, dressed smartly in his navy blue blazer with black button-down. I imagine most people in that moment would’ve felt something related to marvel or elation, or even some manner of irritation if you were a Christina Yang fan.

Instead, in that moment, I wanted to hide. I wanted to run from this man, who didn’t know who I was, who didn’t know what I was going through, because I was ashamed.

The shame continue to consume me when Monday came, and I joined the Zoom call that confirmed what I already knew. I had a panic attack, my first in almost 10 years. My vision blurred as my left leg shook violently, a nervous tick I had developed in high school that became the only way my body would express any form of stress. I could barely hear my manager's canned speech, the same one they give to everyone. "We appreciate your time and commitment to the company" a commitment they didn't share, like a spouse sitting you down on a Monday afternoon declaring they'd filed for divorce. If companies were treated like marriages, maybe they'd owe their employees alimony in perpetuity until said employees could find another job.

The HR representative on the call sounded unsure. She also had a script she had to read to me that went over my benefits, my last day of work, and had the gall to thank me for handling myself in "such a professional manner".

I hated myself in that moment. I hated that I didn't have the luxury of acting unprofessional. That I couldn't scream, couldn't cry, couldn't show an ounce of weakness to these people who had just taken what felt like everything away from me. Something I'd worked so hard to accomplish in a very short amount of time.

The call was over quickly, no more than 10 minutes, and I didn't have time to process as I hopped into the cab to grab my flight back home. For that I'm thankful, that I didn't have to process in a public hotel lobby in front of dozens of strangers.

In an airport café, after a drink that went down too quickly, I wrote my public plea to LinkedIn that my time at the company had come to an end, and that if anyone had any leads to let me know. And then, I took a breath.

I had let the fear of the unknown consume me, consume everyone around me. Now I had the answer, and though it hurt, I had a plan, and a week to prepare myself.

Finding my footing in IT was difficult, took skills, luck, and a little bit of bending the truth, but I ended up in a role that seemed to fit me well. And then I lost it. And I'm not sure where to go next. But I'm resilient, and I'll keep track of my journey here, for anyone or no one who needs to see that you aren't alone.

[mirroredworlds]

"Right, that was silly of me." Mira's unoccupied hand moved to her face to gently hold her on cheek in slight embarrassment; while not assuming that Freed would mind this silliness she couldn't prevent herself from feeling embarrassment's heat. She'd even thought to herself just a few moments prior that it was very late already, of course there was no way they'd be able to visit a restaurant right now.

Her smile had transformed into a slight chuckle, though the heat would remain coursing through her when she heard Freed's next words. What… Who? How did she not know about this before? Mira was usually well informed about all kinds of things. Who was talking about them? "Oh!! Right, no- of course there was nothing indecent about our nights together!" Though when saying the words aloud she could get why some people might get a certain impression. She hadn't told anyone about not being able to sleep incredibly well as of late, not even her siblings, and that Freed's presence comforted her. Thinking about it… Oh yes, definitely, this explanation would raise questions as well. On top of that she would be lying if she claimed that she's never had particular thoughts about the two of them before - her imagination tended to work quite well. Not like she had any plan to admit to towards Freed right now.

Cheeks puffed out for a brief moment, Mira tried to calm herself again and gently caressed the man's hand with her fingers as she gained back a smile. "I would like to take you home with me regardless of this talk, of course. There are much worse rumors than this one, don't you think?" She chuckled and then thought for a moment. "Hmm… I can ask Lisanna if she can take on my shifts on the weekend, or one of them at least. Kinana will be there as well. That way we don't have to stress about anything." Although she'd be ready to go the next day.

Truthfully, Freed didn't mind her silliness because she didn't often get to be silly. She was usually busy tending to everyone else, making sure they were fed and had water too. He knew she made sure certain members drank enough water and were fed when drinking alcohol too. She took care of pretty much everyone because she had such a large heart and so much love inside her body.

"Maybe a bit but you are allowed to be silly sometimes. The same as everyone else,"

He'd only found out about it thanks to Evergreen asking him about a rumor she heard. How she'd heard about his late night treks to Mirajane's home whenever she called him and asked him to stay with her was still lost on him. If Mira asked him about it he'd tell her where he heard it but he wasn't sure she'd actually ask him about it.

"Well, you already know I have no issues going home with you, Mira. I know you sleep better when I'm there with you,"

"and I do agree with you, regarding that there is, in fact, many worse rumors that could be going around regarding us and, ehem, extracurricular activities."

A nod would be a silent response to her offering to ask Lisanna to take her shifts over the weekend. That would give the two of them more time to explore their newfound relationship. They could see how well it would work by spending those days together. It sounded like a good idea to him.

"That sounds like it might be a good idea. It would give us enough time to explore this relationship and see where we would like it to go from here."

[penname-artist]

[warning: long; TW for bad work stories and mental health shit]

It's not a great evening for me.

I don't know if it's going to get better yet.

I don't know when the storm is going to pass.

Most of the time my problems are only emotional. They only affect me mentally, it's only ever just, things happening around me, or, because of me, that regardless of my involvement I know I can't stop from falling down. But it hasn't taken turns like these in a long time. It hasn't kicked me in the stomach this hard in a long time.

I had just hit a milestone, too. I had been with the company I worked for for two years now, nearly to the day. That's the longest job I've held so far, as...rocky as it got.

I went home halfway through my shift the very first day I worked there. I was lost, I didn't know what I was doing, and then I made a pretty big mistake. I was so overwhelmed. I locked myself into the darkness of the women's bathroom and just. Cried. Til there wasn't anything left in me. I couldn't see straight. My body hurt from convulsing and laying tight in the same curled up position for as long as I did. I phoned home, I let mom explain the situation for me to my then-manager on the way out the door, because I couldn't look anyone in the eye. I couldn't do it.

I don't know how I did it, after that day, either. Somehow I got up, somehow I went back, and somehow I found a way to make it work. The people helped. Most everyone there was very understanding, supportive, accommodating. There were moments of course; oh, there were moments. Times the higher ups got to me. I tried my best to steel myself from a breakdown, but it didn't always work. And I think they thought I was a depressed robot when they spoke to me sometimes. I tried, I did try.

I can't say I didn't try.

And I think deep down they knew I'd been going through some heavy shit. I remember the day I got into an online fight with someone while AT work, getting up and pacing and sitting back down and just stewing in that agony (that my nervous system was also willfully ingesting as fast as it could because hello, it's work). Practically every day I scanned the truck in I would start fuming over the rumination of past situations and their shit outcomes. Sometimes it was anger and sometimes it was sorrow. But either way the scale tilted, I think some people knew.

We changed managers last winter, and I was a nervous wreck about it. I'd already seen many coworkers come and go, and it was harder and harder to trust anyone, people who just, didn't really get me, didn't understand how differently I behaved and how differently I had to behave in order to stay functional. I'm not lazy, I'm stressed, every time I sit and doodle on a piece of paper. I work too quickly, and then I have to sit there to watch the clock. I worried and fretted that my new manager wouldn't understand, and then I'd be on the curb.

I was so glad that I was wrong.

My second manager was probably the best I'd ever had in my work history. He wasn't just a good manager, he was a good person. He took care of his people. He learned from them, he worked with them, we all made it work, and it worked out wonderfully.

And he really did the best that he could've to ensure I was okay. I tried to leave then, when he first signed on, but he begged me to stay if only for a few hours a week to help the new trainees. From that point on my schedule was...flexible. I came in when they needed my help, and everyone was always so thankful when I could do so. I organized things they'd never have time away from the counter to fix. And even if it didn't feel like it was much they made me feel like it was a lot. I enjoyed doing it. Helping them.

The boss even drove me back to my house a few times, when I couldn't get my usual ride and had to walk (work is only a few blocks away from my house). Without hesitation, even. Hell one time I didn't want to bother him and started walking home, he realized and got in the company truck to drive a half a block down the road to pick me up to take me the rest of the way. I could not have asked for a more understanding person, and truly I don't think we deserved him, as awesome as he was.

It should stand to reason that's why it didn't last long.

The second manager only stayed for six months. He went on to a larger store in a neighboring town. We had another manager coming, and I knew, I knew...I knew we weren't going to get this lucky again.

I hate it when my intuition is right. I hate it. It's so right, it's been so right so many times. I could take one look at someone and tell you whether their vibe is great, just okay, or destined to become a weapon of your destruction. I've seen it before. And I saw it again.

Thursday was hell. Yesterday, even. Fuck it's been a really long two days. I walked in the door and sat to do computer things. Instantly, the new new manager - manager number three - makes a beeline for me and calls me to the office. The DM is there.

Joy. Oh sweet, sweet, motherfucking joy.

It's an evaluation, which is par at best. My position doesn't look good on paper, it never did because I was never a normal-case employee. I never worked the counters.

I received multiple write ups for no call no shows. I was scheduled for days I didn't know about, wasn't told about, and blamed for not attending because the old manager's system of schedule was no longer in effect. This wasn't my fault, this was the new guys fault and his lack of information. Oh, and following this information I then learned my shift for the day was six hours longer than I thought it would be.

That was the first strike of the day. After an hour of going to my work as usual, I retreated to the bathroom for a quick cry and to psyche myself up to deal with this new guy. Surely we'd find common ground eventually. Right?

I went to sit for a minute to catch my breath later on. Anxiety spiking again. He immediately found me again the moment I sat down and asked whether I was on break.

After telling him I wasn't (without him really replying but obviously not seeming happy that I was, y'know, sitting), I asked about editing my schedule to work shorter shifts. I changed to part time when my second manager came in because I intended to leave from the exhaustion of working full-time. My body has a fluctuating capability, and some days I can work just fine and some days I can't keep my head up and my legs refuse to work the way they should.

And he tells me he can't change my schedule. He 'needs' me for these two back to back eight hour days, so there's no changing it. I'm being bent to fit someone else's schedule.

Strike two.

After another bathroom safehouse cry ("I gotta stop doing this, what is wrong with me?") I complete stock and start putting things out on the floor. He finds me out on the floor and tells, in an asky kind of way that makes it seem like he's not telling me, to rearrange the entire wall of hoses we have in the backroom. Y'know, because I told him I specialized in store organization.

I panicked at the beginning of rearranging the hoses; I was so stressed already and I'd never touched these things yet because they were so oddly organized. I gave up when I knew cry #3 was fast mounting, and dipped from store reality for another half an hour.

When I emerged, I headed back to the desk where I could talk with my one and possibly only favored co-worker there, and do some stress doodling (for context my co-worker friend loved all the doodles I made, so much so that he taped all of them to the topside of the desk I was at to showcase to customers when they came in).

Again it happened: the moment I sat down, legs a tense twitchy mess at this point and in dire need if it, the manager with a million eyes finds me and chips into my damaged disposition again. Oh, what are you doing? Are you on break NOW? What's wrong with your leg now? Do you have paperwork for that? I can't have you sitting back here drawing.

I was rendered mute, mind a muddled mess of fight or flight. I felt like an animal, cornered. I waited for him to walk away, and I made my way to the computer to clock out three hours early.

I need to go home.

I can't do this.

I can't be here anymore.

Manager Man catches me again. What are you doing? Are you leaving? Are you quitting? Can you sign something to show that you're quitting?

Then and there, he had me write my resignation, shakily scribbling my name onto a sheet of paper. I paced at the door waiting on my ride, waiting to get out of this prison, away from this horrible person, away to tell my family I had failed, again, to leave a job the right way, to keep a job and work a job and be happy in a job, while my nervous system has a bloody conniption, and my knees jerk and twitch, and I get dizzy if I stand for too long or lift too much, and I can't ask for help, and I work through headaches and sensory overload and the constant, constant, exhausting pressure of just being a good employee. I just want to do a job well. That's all I wanted. And it's all I had to show anymore to prove I was just like everybody else, I'm not broken, I'm not injured, I'm not mentally unfit for work now...

But I guess having papers to prove that is my next course of action, while I'm out of a job.

I think I'll be...okay. I don't really know anymore. I don't know what the next right step is supposed to be and I hate the step no matter which one it is, because one of them will put me back between a rock and a hard place, and the other one is a crutch no one wants to believe is real because 'they can't see it'.

So...yeah that's been on my mind. And I already got to visit my favorite text hotline (again) so I've exercised all the professional help I can pay for right now. Might have commissions open again soon, might not. Never been a fan of commissions but I guess you have to do what you have to do. I'll post again soon if I decide to though.

In the meantime I'm still here, existing at home with my family and waiting on my mom's spinal surgery at the end of this month, which I'll need to be here for anyway.

Thank you to any of you who actually managed to read all of this, I know it's far longer than even my normal long posts are. I appreciate it. You take care and have a wonderful whatever time of the day it is where you are right now. Until the morrow.